Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, July 30

Thank you, Charles

Beautiful full moon out tonight!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Fugitive arrested after cops see him reported as actor in horror film Details at Boneheads Today in 1945 The USS Indianapolis was torpedoed by a Japanese submarine. The ship had just delivered key components of the Hiroshima atomic bomb to the Pacific island of Tinian. Only 316 out of 1,196 men aboard survived the attack. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Some people will never learn anything because they understand everything too soon. --- Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ This older couple met their demise in an auto accident and were transported to Heaven. As they were waiting to be processed, they began to look all around at their setting for eternity. The wife was amazed at the beauty, the peace and the contentment she felt and commented over and over about what a nice place Heaven was and how fortunate she felt to be there. She asked her mate:"What would you do if you could go back for just one day?" "I'd go strangle whoever invented bran muffins. We could have been here 15 years ago!" ______________________________________________________ Dr Gordon was a guest at a chic gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which he was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," Dr Gordon replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the right track." "What sort of question?" asked the hostess. "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " The hostess thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't haappen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history." ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for having used a picture, that had been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that some day somebody will demand payment, AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make off the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. Hopefully none of those have been uploaded for entrapment purposes. ______________________________________________________ Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't believe in capital punishment and didn't want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course. But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness, and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury. "Madam," he explained, "This is not a murder trial! It's a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $12,000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday." "Well, okay," agreed Mrs. Hunter, "I'll serve. I guess I could be wrong about capital punishment after all!" ______________________________________________________ Here is a picture from subscriber Clyde: Clyde's Cactus ______________________________________________________ On a Monday the teacher asked what happened over the weekend. said, "We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota." The teacher said, "Good, can you spell that for the class?" thought for a minute and said, "Just kidding, we went to Ohio." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jason Stange, 44, Tacoma, Washington
Fugitive arrested after cops see him reported as actor in horror film A fugitive has been arrested after federal agents saw his photo in a Washington state newspaper that ran a story about a low-budget horror movie. The News Tribune reports that 44-year-old Jason Stange, a convicted bank robber, plays a leading role in the movie, "Marla Mae." The Olympian newspaper ran a feature story on the film Friday with photos that showed Stange on the film set in Olympia. That tattoo, that face, that name, yes, that's him! Federal agents tracked down Stange and arrested him Friday at a restaurant close to the filming location. Stange pleaded guilty to an armed bank robbery in 2006 and was given a 117-month prison sentence. A federal probation violation warrant was issued last year after Stange left a halfway house in Spokane. The film's producer says Stange will remain in the film, which is scheduled for release in 2016.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Denise Re: VISTA to Windows 7 Dear Webby, Can you advise, please? Our computer has Vista and we have purchased Windows 7. Do we have to uninstall Vista before we install Windows 7? Thank you Denise Dear Denise If you do it right, you won't have to format and lose it all. First make sure your computer can handle W7. Theoretically it should, but it's best to make sure before you take the plunge. Download and run the Windows 7 Upgrade Advisor to see if your PC is ready for Windows 7. It scans your hardware, devices, and installed programs for known compatibility issues, gives you guidance on how to resolve potential issues found, and recommends what to do before you upgrade. Windows 7 Upgrade Advisor Next print this tutorial: VISTA to Windows 7 Yes, print it out! During the upgrade the computer will reboot a few times, and you will not be able to get back to that online tutorial. Follow the steps in that with a highlighter or red pen to checkmark, and make sure you don't miss any steps. Of course, before you do any of that, it is a very good idea to back up all important data, addresses, mails, spreadsheets, documents, pictures, music, etc. onto a camera chip or DVD. Good Luck! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An elderly lady is on a cruise ship and wanders up to the bar and asks for a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today." The bartender says "Well, since it's your birthday, this one is on me." As the woman finishes her drink, the lady to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink too." The elderly matron says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a scotch with two drops of water." "Coming up," says the bartender. As she finishes her drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one also. The lady says, "Thank you. Bartender, I would like another scotch with two drops of water." "Comin' right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?" The 80 year old replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you learn how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue." ______________________________________________________ At the end of their first date, a guy takes the girl home. Emboldened by the night, the guy decides to try for the first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her: "Darling, how 'bout a good night kiss?" Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" Him: "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" Her: "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?" Him: "Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" Her: "No way. It's just too risky!" Him "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?" Her: "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" Him: "Oh yes you can. Please?" Her: "No, no. I just can't" Him: "I beg you ... " Suddenly the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for God sake tell the idiot to take his hand off the intercom." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Frozen Yogurt Discs This is a super simple recipe. The kids can even help you make them. My kids can't wait for the discs to freeze. It's one of their favorite frozen treats. Approximate Time: a few minutes, plus time for freezing. Yield: As many as you would like. Ingredients: Yogurt, any type Pieces of fruit (optional) Steps: Put some wax paper onto a baking sheet. It helps to get the discs off later. Scoop some yogurt into a plastic zippy bag. You can make as much or as little as you would like. Snip a small piece off the corner of the bag. Carefully squeeze a little dollop on the wax paper. Keep squeezing the dollops until you run out of yogurt. Optional: You can add a small piece of fruit to each disc if you would like. Then cover with a small amount of yogurt. Put in the freezer. It doesn't take very long for them to firm up. We wait about an hour or so. Pop the discs off to eat, or put in a container for storage. By Becky Miles [58] First step should be to re-arrange the stuff in your freezer so that you have a perfectly level base for your baking sheet. Trying to do that with one hand while holding the baking sheet with the other might result in a big mess. At this time of year, when you frequently toss in containers of fruit, that can be a challenge, so do that first! If you don't have yoghurt, you can use custard, like good ol Birds Custard img src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31c9rPSCCEL._SL75_.jpg" It is cheap and easy and clean product since 1837. 600g of powder makes 16 pints of custard !! That link is of course not the only source! It just shows you what to look for at your grocery store. You can add chocolate chips to flavor it, or any fruit. You can also just drop a spoon full over a berry or pitted cherry. No limit to what you can do. Have FUN! DarWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A cop walking his usual beat sees an older man pulling a box on a leash down a busy street. "Poor fellow," the cop thinks to himself. "I'd better go humor him." "That's a nice dog you got there," the cop says to the man. "It isn't a dog, it's a box," the man replies. "Oh, I'm sorry," says the policeman. "I thought you were a bit....strange." The old man walks past the cop, then turns to his box, and says, "We sure fooled him that time, didn't we, Rover?" ____________________________________________________
Poor fail
____________________________________________________ A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before. All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty. One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you." "My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need when I see your mother kiss you on the cheek." ____________________________________________________
The extraordinary Birds of Paradise. I could watch these beautiful birds all day, every day.

Today in 
1502 Christopher Columbus landed at Guanaja in the Bay Islands 
 off the coast of Honduras during his fourth voyage. 
1898 "Scientific America" carried the first magazine automobile ad. 
 The ad was for the Winton Motor Car Company of Cleveland, OH. 
1932 Walt Disney's "Flowers and Trees" premiered. It was the 
 first Academy Award winning cartoon and first cartoon short to 
 use Technicolor. 
1942 The WAVES were created by legislation signed by U.S. President 
 Franklin D. Roosevelt. The members of the Women Accepted for 
 Volunteer Emergency Service were a part of the U.S. Navy. 
1945 The USS Indianapolis was torpedoed by a Japanese submarine. 
 The ship had just delivered key components of the Hiroshima 
 atomic bomb to the Pacific island of Tinian. Only 316 out of 
 1,196 men aboard survived the attack. 
1956 The phrase "In God We Trust" was adopted as the U.S. 
 national motto. 
1965 U.S. President Johnson signed into law Social Security 
 Act that established Medicare and Medicaid. It went into 
 effect the following year. 
1974 The U.S. House of Representatives Judiciary Committee 
 voted to impeach President Nixon for blocking the Watergate 
 investigation and for abuse of power. 
1987 Indian troops arrived in Jaffna, Sri Lanka, to disarm 
 the Tamil Tigers and enforce a peace pact. 
1990 In Spring Hill, TN, the first Saturn automobile rolled 
 off the assembly line. 
1991 In China, construction began on the Oriental Pearl 
 Radio & TV Tower. 
2001 Lance Armstrong became the first American to win three 
 consecutive Tours de France. 
2003 In Mexico, the last 'old style' Volkswagon Beetle rolled 
 off an assembly line. 
2015  smiled.
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