Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
Clean humor and tech tips, updated daily! The Dear Webby Humor Letter is still the best Humor Newsletter and Joke List and is available in regular HTML and also in large font HTML for vision challenged readers.
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Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, July 23

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a dope dealer, who fled into a Police Academy Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1984 Miss America, Vanessa Williams, turned in her crown after it had been discovered that nude photos of her had appeared in "Penthouse" magazine. She was the first to resign the title.
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Of those who say nothing, few are silent. --- Thomas Neill Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. --- Kurt Herbert Alder All good things in moderation, including moderation. -- Socratex
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While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He though about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6.
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The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet deep. After the job was completed the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered. The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem. The boss snorted, "Honestly! The kind of help you get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!"
Thanks to Dianne for this picture Click on the picture for the large version Australia decided to dump their Carbon Tax, since it is obviously rather presumptious and silly to pretend that human efforts are in the same league as volcanoes and forest fires.
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Thanks to Walter, the Stonecarver for reporting this: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Roger Wayne Beasley Jr., 30, BILOXI, Miss. Dope dealer, who fled into a Police Academy A man who fled from a traffic stop on U.S. 90 unknowingly ran into a building where police academy training was in session. Roger Wayne Beasley Jr., 30, apparently was so focused on getting away that he didn't notice marked cars parked outside the Harrison County Law Enforcement Training Academy building on Leggett Drive, Police Chief John Miller said. An officer had recognized Beasley driving a vehicle Wednesday and knew he didn't have a license, Miller said. Beasley turned on to Chalmers Drive, jumped out of his vehicle and ran off, so an officer jumped out of his car and ran after him. "He got to the door and was about to go through," Miller said. He was outnumbered. Police arrested Beasley on charges of possession with intent to distribute crack cocaine, resisting arrest, no driver's license, careless driving, improper lane change, resisting arrest and failure to comply. Beasley was released from the Harrison County jail on bonds that total $51,670. Tech Support Pits From: Vi Re: Nuisance Pop-Up in movies Dear Webby Why do I get a small pop up in the middle of a video asking me to allow or deny someone to store information on my computer? It has no X to delete it and it stays right in the middle of the video Thanks for any help you can suggest. GG Vi Dear Vi That is from your Adobe Flash Player. Right-click the thilly Pop-Up Select Global Settings and let it have 10 MB or so space for temp files. After that it will stop being a nuisance. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No-Blow Picnic Tablecloth When I was a kid, we picnicked a LOT in the summer. My mom got tired of the table cloth blowing up and tipping everything, so she began packing a twin-sized fitted sheet in the basket. It fit the public tables perfectly, and no more blowing tablecloths. In fact, she won a similar tip contest with this back in the late 50's, but I have not seen it mentioned since then. By J'Marinde [2] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. "You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?" "That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks." "But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks." "You DO?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?"

» Pet Suites

Today in 
1715 The first lighthouse in America was authorized for 
 construction at Little Brewster Island, Massachusetts.
1827 The first swimming school in the U.S. opened in 
 Boston, MA.
1829 William Burt patented the typographer, which was 
 the first typewriter.
1877 The first American municipal railroad passenger service 
 began in Cincinnati, Ohio.
1886 Steve Brodie, a New York saloonkeeper, claimed to 
 have made a daredevil plunge from the Brooklyn Bridge into 
 the East River.
1904 The ice cream cone was invented by Charles E. Menches 
 during the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis, MO.
1914 Austria-Hungary issued an ultimatum to Serbia to 
 surrender the assassin of Archduke Francis Ferdinand. 
 England turned that into World War I.
1938 The first federal game preserve was approved by the 
 U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. The area was 2,000 acres 
 in Utah.
1945 The first passenger train observation car was placed 
 in service by the Chicago, Burlington and Quincy Railroad.
1952 Egyptian military officers led by Gamal Abdel Nasser 
 overthrew King Farouk I.
1958 The submarine Nautilus departed from Pearl Harbor, 
 Hawaii, under orders to conduct "Operation Sunshine." 
 The mission was to be the first vessel to cross the north 
 pole by ship. The Nautils achieved that on August 3, 1958.
1962 The "Telstar" communications satellite sent the first 
 live TV broadcast to Europe.
1972 Eddie Merckx of Belgium won his fourth consecutive Tour 
 de France bicycling competition.
1972 The U.S. launched Landsat 1 (ERTS-1). It was the first 
 Earth-resources satellite.
1984 Miss America, Vanessa Williams, turned in her crown 
 after it had been discovered that nude photos of her had 
 appeared in "Penthouse" magazine. She was the first to 
 resign the title.
1986 Britain's Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson at 
 Westminster Abbey in London. They divorced in 1996.
1998 U.S. scientists at the University of Hawaii turned 
 out more than 50 "carbon-copy" mice, with a cloning technique.
2000 Lance Armstrong won his second Tour de France. 
2014  smiled.
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