Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, February 9, 2010


All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
--- Sean O'Casey

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones 
who will choose your rest home.
--- Phyllis Diller


The basketball coach stormed into the University President's office
and demanded a raise right then and there.
"Please," protested the college President, "you already make more
than the entire History department."
"Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with,"
the coach blustered. "Look, I'll Give you an example."
The coach went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging
down the hallway.
"Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered.
Three minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath.
"You're not there, sir," he reported.
"Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the University President,
scratching his head. "I would have phoned first."


A man went to get his driver's license renewed. The line
inched along for almost an hour until the man finally got his
license. He inspected his photo for a moment and
commented to the clerk,
"I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty
grouchy in this picture."
The clerk looked at his picture closely. "It's okay," she
reassured the man. "That's how you're going to look when
the cops pull you over anyway."






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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Roger Mayes, 49, of Pinson, Alabama

Can't cope with gas station
PINSON, Ala. (UPI) -- Police in Alabama said a man drove 
his truck through a gas station's plate-glass window because 
he was angry about a pre-pay-only pump. 

County resident Roger Mayes, 49, was charged with attempted 
murder, Jefferson County Chief Deputy Randy Christian said 

Police said Mayes angrily stormed into the BP service station 
convenience store in Pinson about 6:45 a.m. Sunday and 
complained the pump he was trying to use was not turned 
on, The Birmingham (Ala.) News reported Wednesday. 

Christian said the service station had a pre-pay only system 
because of too many pump-and-runs, and Mayes's pump had 
not been turned on because he hadn't paid yet. 
"You are going to die and go to hell," the chief deputy quoted 
Mayes as telling the store clerk. 

Investigators said Mayes left the store, got back into his 2001 
Ford Explorer and drove the sport utility vehicle through the 
window of the shop, crashing through the coffee counter and 
cashier's counter. 

"If the clerk had not jumped out the way, he would have run 
over the clerk," Christian said. 

Mayes was subdued with a stun gun after he attempted to 
charge an arresting deputy, police said. He was charged 
with attempted murder and resisting arrest and jailed on 
$63,000 bond. 



From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Eileen
Re: Text too small

Dear Webby,
I've read your site for quite a while & truly love it. 
I have a question I hope you can give an easy solution to. 
I lost use of my computer a few weeks ago & it had to be 
completely restored. That is done, but I'm trying to find 
out how to enlarge the text. Before it died on me, I had 
an icon allowing me to enlarge the text, but that is no 
longer there. Is there a way I can enlarge it on my own? 
Many thanks for any help you're able to give me. 
I am not too computer literate but am able to follow 
easy directions.
Eileen

Dear Eileen
RIGHT Click on the desk top
Properties
Settings
Advanced
General

and in there choose a larger or CUSTOM setting for the fonts.

In a browser you can also usually hold down CTRL and roll 
the scroll wheel on the mouse to zoom font sizes.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


The young teacher of the earth science class was lecturing
on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude,
degrees and minutes the teacher asked Morris,
"Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 25 degrees,
4 minutes north latitude and 130 degrees, 15 minutes West
longitude...?"
After a confused silence and a glance at Google Earth, 
Morris replied, "I guess you'd be eating alone. 
That's halfway to Hawaii, and I can't swim."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Safe and Friendly Drain Cleaner
To safely clean drains, I pour baking soda into the drain 
followed by table salt. If the clog isn't bad, I just use cold 
water to flush it down. If the clog is bad, you will need to use 
boiling water. Since this will not harm pipes or the environment, 
you can use this weekly to keep drains from becoming clogged.
By Kris from New Albany, IN

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


Randy, was on a hunting trip up in West Virginia. He
became rather cold and thirsty so decided to stop in at
his Mother in law's place and ask for something to drink.
She said, "You look really cold, how about a bowl of
soup."

There was a wee Vietnamese pig running around the
kitchen, running up to Randy and giving him a great deal of
attention.Randy commented, "That pig sure is friendly."
Bill, his father in law replied:
"Arnold's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using."


Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

A study conducted by the American Psychiatric
Association (ASA) today showed that over 40% of the
practicing psychiatrists in the U.S. were themselves
receiving psychiatric treatment of some kind.

A spokeswoman for the ASA said the public should not be
concerned, as the remainder were undergoing intensive
drug-therapy.

-----
You gotta be nuts to go see a shrink! (Beetle Bailey)





 »  Lufthansa Virtual Pilot
 


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Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

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