Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, October 16

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Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Arkansas man ate meth, pot during traffic 
stop and finked on himself

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Today, October 16 in
1941 The Nazis advanced to within 60 miles of Moscow. Romanians
 entered Odessa, USSR, and began exterminating 150,000 Jews. 
More of today in history at History
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Two paradoxes are better than one; 
they may even suggest a solution.
--- Edward Teller (1908 - 2003)
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Keli: Anni, what exactly is an "oxymoron"?

Anni: It's a phrase made up of contradictory terms,
like "deafening silence".

Keli: Oh, I get it. Like "Mr. Perfect"!

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When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local
motor-vehicle bureau was packed.

The line inched along for almost an hour until the man
ahead of me finally got his license.

He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the
clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking
pretty grouchy in this picture."

The clerk looked at his picture closely.

"It's okay," he reassured the man, "That's how you're going
to look when the cops pull you over anyway."

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Wife: "Doctor My husband thinks he's a
satellite dish."

Doctor: "Don't worry I can cure him."

Wife: "I don't want him cured I want you
to adjust him to get the movie channel."

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The Stump, in the Tetons

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Brian Lee Chadwell, 38,
Bella Vista,
Arkansas

Arkansas Man Ate Meth, Pot During Traffic 
Stop and finked on himself

 A Pea Ridge man accused of beating his step-daughter with a
spatula was arrested Monday (Oct. 8) after reportedly eating
marijuana and methamphetamine during a traffic stop.

Brian Lee Chadwell, 38, faces felony charges of two counts of
possession of drug paraphernalia and tampering with physical
evidence.

Bella Vista police stopped Chadwell about 9 p.m. near Tanyard
Creek for a broken brake light, according to a probable cause
affidavit.

Chadwell asked the officers for legal advice regarding a no
contact order he'd received for allegedly hitting the girl, then
said he'd eaten a small bag of marijuana and meth in order to
destroy it, according to the affidavit.

Chadwell added that he eats meth to get high, but doesn't smoke
or inject it.

Chadwell asked officers to shoot him during processing, saying he
was upset with himself. He said officers could say he tried to
attack him, according to the affidavit.

Chadwell was being held Thursday (Oct. 11) at the Benton County
Jail on a $10,000 bond. He has a hearing set for Nov. 19 in
Benton County Circuit Court.

Chadwell is accused of beating his step-daughter with a spatula,
a wooden spoon, and a stick covered in thorns, along with forcing
her to sleep on the kitchen floor as punishment.

He's due Nov. 13 in Pea Ridge District Court on a misdemeanor
charge of third-degree domestic battery.

The girl's mother, Jennifer Chadwell, was arrested in connection
with permitting the abuse of a minor, a Class D felony.

The report did not say what the teen required frequent punishment
for, bhut she will be the responsibility of Child Services for
the foreseeable future.


From: Barb
Re: DSL speed dropping

Dear Webby
At home my connection speed keeps dropping to the point
where I actually lose the connection. We use the same DSL
provider as I have at work, but there the connection never
drops.

At home, it's OK when I am browsing, but if I am answering
mail, especially if I get interrupted, it falls off.
Is there a setting I should check and change?
Thanks
Barb

Dear Barb
Big Brother, the ISP, watches your activity, and if you are
not really using your connection while you leisurely compose
a lengthy email, they reduce your pipe and eventually cut it.

They will gradually, and grudgingly, give it back to you when
you are ready to send that email.

You can use an FTP program that has a "Keep-Alive" feature
to keep the connection open, and download three different
pieces of music simultaneously when you need the connection
again. You can watch how the 14 KB Keep-Alive speed cranks
up to over 30 Mbps within a few seconds. You will then be able
to use high speed until Big Brother detects that you have
abandoned your computer and snuck off to the kitchen.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
Childrens' Views

No person really decides before they grow up who
they're going to marry. God decides it always before,
and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be
yelling at the same kids.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get
to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you
listen long enough.

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys.
Boys need someone to clean up after them.

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE
DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a
dumpster.



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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




A football coach walked into the locker room before a
game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not
supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we
need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a
math question, and if you get it right, you can play."
The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes
intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate... what is
two plus two?"

The player thought for a moment and then he answered,
"4?"

"Did you say 4?!?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he
got it right.

At that, all the other players on the team began
screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"

___________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Treat Credit Like Cash
Make a commitment to pay as you go with credit cards this
year. Don't wait until the last minute to buy gifts and plan
your holiday budget carefully. You will feel much better
during the holiday season if you aren't accumulating debt.

Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





What an amazing artist to see the animal spirit in stone and bring it out
for the public!

___________________________________________________

I couldn't help overhearing a man at a nearby pay
phone.

"I know it's something you want," he said earnestly,
"but I don't think tattoos are a good idea. And the
same goes for body piercing. As long as you're living
in my house, I think you should respect my wishes."

I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly
firmness.

Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Mom, you're
75 years old! You don't NEED a tattoo!"

___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say
Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty
bride had prepared from all of the refrigerator leftovers.

"I don't know," he said dubiously, "but it seems to me that
I've blessed all this stuff before."




Today October 16 in
1701 The Collegiate School was founded in Killingworth, CT. The
school moved to New Haven in 1745 and changed its name to Yale
College. 

1793 During the French Revolution, Queen Marie Antoinette was
beheaded after being convicted of treason. 

1829 In Boston, MA, the first modern hotel in America opened. The
Tremont Hotel had 170 rooms that rented for $2 a day and included
four meals. 

1859 Abolitionist John Brown led a raid on Harper's Ferry, VA
(now located in West Virginia). 

1869 A hotel in Boston became the first in the U.S. to install
indoor plumbing. 

1916 Margaret Sanger opened the first birth control clinic in New
York City, NY. 

1923 Walt Disney contracted with M.J. Winkler to distribute the
Alice Comedies. This event is recognized as the start of the
Disney Company. 

1928 Marvin Pipkin received a patent for the frosted electric
light bulb. 

1941 The Nazis advanced to within 60 miles of Moscow. Romanians
entered Odessa, USSR, and began exterminating 150,000 Jews. 

1942 The ballet "Rodeo" premiered in New York City. 

1943 Chicago's new subway system was officially opened with a
ribbon cutting ceremony. 

1955 Mrs. Jules Lederer replaced Ruth Crowley in newspapers using
the name Ann Landers. 

1962 U.S. President Kennedy was informed that there were missile
bases in Cuba, beginning the Cuban missile crisis. 

1964 China detonated its first atomic bomb becoming the world's
fifth nuclear power. 

1967 NATO headquarters opened in Brussels. 

1970 Anwar Sadat was elected president of Egypt to succeed Gamal
Abdel Nassar. 

1973 Henry Kissinger and Le Duc Tho were named winners of the
Nobel Peace Prize. The Vietnamese official declined the award. 

1978 Poland's Karol Josef Wojtyla was elected Pope John Paul II. 

1982 China announced that it had successfully fired a ballistic
missile from a submarine. 

1987 Rescuers freed Jessica McClure from the abandoned well that
she had fallen into in Midland, TX. She was trapped for 58 hours.


1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush signed the Gramm-Rudman
budget reduction law that ordered federal programs be cut by
$16.1 billion. 

1993 The U.N. Security Council approved the deployment of U.S.
warships to enforce a blockade on Haiti to increase pressure on
the controlling military leaders. 

1994 German Chancellor Helmut Kohl was re-elected to a fourth
term. 

1997 Charles M. Schulz and his wife Jeannie announced that they
would give $1 million toward the construction of a D-Day memorial
to be placed in Virginia. 

2000 It was announced that Chevron Corp. would be buying Texaco
Inc. for $35 billion. The combined company was called Chevron
Texaco Corp. and became the 4th largest oil company in the world.


2002 It was reported that North Korea had told the U.S. that it
had a secret nuclear weapons program in violation of an 1994
agreement with the U.S. 

2002 The Arthur Andersen accounting firm was sentenced to five
years probation and fined $500,000 for obstructing a federeal
investigation of the energy company Enron. 

2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 billion television
episodes sold.

2018  smiled.


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Well, 
, that's all for today.



Have FUN !

Dear Webby from Webby.com


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