Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday,  October 22
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Today, October 22 in 
1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded 
parachute jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet.
More of today in history at History
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please donate what you can!




Today's Bonehead Award:
Noxious fumes force plane's 
emergency landing in Dublin
                     
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"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by
smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who
really mean it". 
--- Mark Twain (1835-1910)
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Benny Cohen was pulled out of the ocean by a lifeguard.
His wife ran over sobbing, "Benny! Benny, what
happened?!"

"Madam, please don't get hysterical," said the
lifeguard. "I'm just going to give your husband some
artificial respiration and he'll be fine."

"What!" Mrs. Cohen yelled. "My Benny gets either real
respiration or nothing."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by 

American Airlines



Noxious fumes force plane's 
emergency landing in Dublin

A passenger plane flying from London to the US was forced to
make an emergency landing in Dublin after noxious fumes left
two crew members temporarily unconscious.

Paramedics who met American Airlines flight 729 after it
touched down in the Irish capital took the staff and a
passenger to hospital for evaluation, according to the airline.

The plane, flying from Heathrow to Philadelphia, landed safely
at Dublin at 1.15pm local time after the incident, which was
said to have been caused by a cleaning product left behind on
the aircraft which had spilled.

 We require paramedics to come onboard the airplane and render
immediate assistance,  one of the plane's pilots reportedly
told Dublin air traffic control in a recording posted online by
the Airport Webcams account on Twitter.

 Two of our   cabin staff have actually lost consciousness, I
think they're back to consciousness now; and there are general
complaints about burning eyes and other problems with mucus in
the nose, skin problems,  the pilot said.

According to the pilot, the incident had been caused by  a
cleaning product used at Heathrow  that had been left behind in
a toilet, then spilled and seeped into the carpet. A statement
by American Airlines said the spill had happened in the galley.

One passenger aboard the flight said that some people were
feeling unwell before the flight even departed Heathrow. He
said the plane was delayed by an hour as a result.

 The plane still took off and then an announcement later told
us, about one hour into flying time, that some crew members are
feeling ill along with a few passengers and we have to make an
emergency landing in Dublin,  the passenger, who was not named,
told Mail Online.



DearWebby's Tech Support Pits

From: Martina
Re: Burning eyes

Dear Webby, 
I have to work at the computer all day, but after three hours
my eyes get sandy and burning, and my eyelids keep falling
shut. Going outside with the smokers for five minutes clears
the problem every time. My doctor told me to get a different
job, but on weekends, I can work on my computer at home 
12 - 14 hours and don't have any problem at all.

What is your advice?
Thanks
Martina

Dear Martina
A 5 minute break after 3 hours is definitely a good idea!

I would also recommend that you turn down the brightness of
your work computer and change the default background of open
windows from white to a light blue. Beige or cornsilk works too
for some people, but I would recommend that you try a light
blue first. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby




Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 


At the height of a political corruption trial, the
prosecuting attorney attacked a witness.

"Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five
thousand dollars to compromise this case?"
The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't
heard the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars
to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated. The
witness still did not respond. Finally, the judge
leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the
question."

"I'm sorry, your Honor," the startled witness said,
"Five thousand is out of my league. I thought he was 
talking to you."



If you can help with
the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




"I think vests are all about protection. The life vest pro-
tects you from drowning, and the bullet-proof vest protects 
you from getting shot and the sweater vest protects you 
from pretty girls." -Demetri Martin

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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
font color="#009990">
Freezing Milk
My family doesn't like drinking powdered milk. So to save
money. 
I have a big freezer and when milk is on sale I buy a lot. I
pour a little off each gallon into the milk bottle in the
fridge and then I freeze the rest. when the milk in the fridge
is getting low I just go to the freezer and pull out what I
need. It takes about 24 hours for it to thaw. I just set the
bottles in the sink and when they are almost completely thawed
I put them in the fridge. I am never out of milk this way. By
Suzanne

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Walk on the Wild Side Episode 1 flashhigh

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"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please
stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long
silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an
idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer.

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate
to see you standing all by yourself."

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Two teenagers were on a tour of a modern art gallery. 
They suddenly found themselves alone in a room of 
modern sculpture and were staring at the twisted pipes, 
broken glass and tangled shapes. 

One of them exclaimed, "We had better get out of here 
before they accuse us of wrecking this place!"

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Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them
a young man in a three-piece suit.

"This young CPA agreed to marry my daughter," said one.

"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.

And so they haggled before the King, until he demanded silence.

"My sword! Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and we
shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a
half."

"Fine. Sounds good to me," said the first lady.

But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent
blood. Let this other woman's daughter marry him." 
The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "Indeed, the
accountant must marry the first lady's daughter," he
proclaimed.

"But she was willing to hack him in two!" exclaimed the king's
court.

"Precisely!" said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the
TRUE mother-in-law."

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Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the
double opt-in confirmation request.

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Today, October 22 in

1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute
jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet.

1836 Sam Houston was inaugurated as the first constitutionally
elected president of the Republic of Texas.

1844 This day is recognized as "The Great Disappointment" among
those who practiced Millerism. The world was expected to come
to an end according to the followers of William Miller.

1879 Thomas Edison conducted his first successful experiment
with a high-resistance carbon filament.

1907 The Panic of 1907 began when depositors began withdrawing
money from many New York banks.

1939 The first televised pro football game was telecast from
New York. Brooklyn defeated Philadelphia 23-14.

1954 The Federal Republic of Germany (West Germany) was invited
to join the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO).

1962 U.S. President Kennedy went on radio and television to
inform the United States about his order to send U.S. forces to
blockade Cuba. The blockade was in response to the discovery of
Soviet missile bases on the island.

1968 Apollo 7 splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean. The
spacecraft had orbited the Earth 163 times.

1975 Air Force Technical Sergeant Leonard Matlovich was
discharged after publicly declaring his homosexuality. His
tombstone reads " "A gay Vietnam Veteran. When I was in the
military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a
discharge for loving one."

1979 The ousted Shah of Iran, Mohammad Riza Pahlavi, who had
been installed in Iran by the CIA, was allowed into the U.S.
for medical treatment.

1981 The Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization was
decertified by the federal government for its strike the
previous August.

1983 At the Augusta National Golf Course in Georgia, an armed
man crashed a truck through front gates and demanded to speak
with U.S. President Ronald Reagan.

1986 U.S. President Reagan signed the Tax Reform Act of 1986
into law.

1991 The European Community and the European Free Trade
Association agreed to create a free trade zone of 19 nations by
the year 1993.

1995 The 50th anniversary of the United Nations was marked by a
record number of world leaders gathering.

1998 The United Nations announced that over 2 million children
had been killed in war as innocent victims since 1987.

1998 Pakistan's carpet weaving industry announced that they
would begin to phase out child labor.

1999 China ended its first-ever human rights conference in
which it defied Western definitions of civil liberties.

1999 The U.N. Security Council voted to send 6,000 troops to
Sierra Leone to oversee a peace plan that had been signed in
July.

2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 million applications
downloaded.

2010 The Internation Space Station set the record (3641 days)
for the longest continuous human occupation of space. It had
been continously inhabited since November 2, 2000.

2019  smiled.