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Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 27

Happy Thanksgiving Day, if you are in the USA!

Have FUN!

Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Illinois crook, who faked a 911 call 
to avoid traffic ticket
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1970 Pope Paul VI, visiting the Philippines, was attacked at 
the Manila airport by a Bolivian painter disguised as a priest. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
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Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves. --- Rudyard Kipling (1865 - 1936) ______________________________________________________ A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It´s too hot. It´s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin´ ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone," the guide said. "Unfortunately, it´s being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow." "We can´t be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can´t kiss the stupid stone." "Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you´ll have the same good fortune." "And I suppose you´ve kissed the stone," the woman scoffed. "No, ma´am," the frustrated guide said, "but I´ve sat on it!!!" ______________________________________________________ At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture: Click through for the big picture Old ice Pond, Maine ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jose Navarro Jr. also known as Jorge Navarro Jr. 23, Oak Lawn, Illinois. Jose Navarro Jr. Faked 911 Call To Avoid Traffic Ticket Nobody likes getting a traffic ticket, but calling in a fake shooting is not a way to get out of it. But that was the method Jose Navarro, Jr., allegedly used early Sunday morning after being pulled over by police in Oak Lawn, Illinois. Police said that during the traffic stop Navarro called 911 and falsely reported hearing eight gunshots. He also claimed that a man had been shot and was lying on the ground a few blocks away from where the police had stopped him, the Chicago Tribune reports. The idea, according to police, is that the officers who had pulled over Navarro would leave him to respond to the more serious call. It sort of worked: Several officers did drive to the scene with their emergency lights on, only to discover it was bogus, according to RedEye Chicago. Police then asked Navarro about the shooting and he allegedly admitted making it up to avoid getting traffic tickets, Patch Illinois reports. Navarro was arrested on a variety of charges including a felony charge for the made-up 911 call. He was also cited for illegal transportation of an open alcohol container, speeding, no seat belt, driving without lights and improper lane usage. He was ordered held on $50,000 bail on Sunday. The gang membership tattoo on his neck probably did not make the cops any more friendly than they were. Tech Support Pits From: Jerry Re: Is CrapCleaner safe Hi... I sent you an E-Mail last week and did'nt recive any reply... So, Guess I'll thy again... Can you tell me anything about the CrapCleaner... I've downloaded it,from your site here...but I don't want to use it unless I know its safe... Well it delete my files and/or programs that are on my Desktop ??? Thank You for any info... --- Jerry --- Dear Jerry Crap Cleaner is perfectly safe. It will just delete useless crap. If you are using cookies to sign in at the bank and places like that, take the checkmark off the cookies. Then it will leave those alone. It will show you first what it has found that is useless crap. You can look that over and un-check stuff if you think you might need. CrapCleaner will remember your preferences and next time not suggest anything that you had unchecked the last time. Quite often, if your machine slows down and gets close to stalling, running CrapCleaner will get things moving again and speed up the machine. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Just before their first long deployment two Navy buddies were talking about the stress of leaving their families. A senior officer, a veteran of many deployments, overheard the conversation and offered the following advice: "You must be sensitive to your wives' emotional needs," he said. "Never, ever, whistle while you pack!"
Daily tip from New Year, New Calendar As 2015 quickly approaches, I purchase a new calendar and write down all the birthdays of people I want to send a card/give a gift to. I use the 2014 calendar and go month by month to do that. For other appointments and important dates that I need to remember throughout the year, I purchase a small pack of sticky notes and I write just the appointment time and doctor's name or whatever on the sticky note and then I put it on the corresponding date of the appointment. For example, Dr Smith 2:45PM and I put the sticky note on the date i.e. January 13th. Dinner with Connie 6:00PM at Forrester's etc. etc. That way, if I have to change the appointment time, I don't have to scratch it off. I just move the sticky note and write the new time down, if necessary. That way, my calendar stays fairly neat looking without ink scratched off all over the place. There are a lot of sticky notes per pad and they are fairly inexpensive. Source: A co-worker from a long time ago By Kathy [57] Just get MyMemorizer from It is free and sends emails to you at intervals prior to the event, that YOU set, for example, 1 day before, 2,3,5 days, 1 week, 2, 3 weeks, 1 month before, etc. Plus it has a high visibility calendar that you can flip from month to month. Quite civilized, and free! Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was going though. One day the girl was convinced that the pain on her left side was appendicitis. Her mother explained that the appendix is on the right. "So that's why it hurts to much," her daughter said. "My appendix is on the wrong side." ______________________________________________________ Man to Ticket Agent: I want to buy a bus ticket for Norwald. Ticket Agent, Searching Book: "Norwald? Let me find that. Hmm... never heard of it. Let me see... Norwald. I don't see Norwald listed, and I can't find it on the map. Just where is Norwald, anyway?" Man: "Over there. He's my brother-in-law."

Triplet Images

Today in 
1889 Curtis P. Brady was issued the first permit to drive an 
  automobile through Central Park in New York City. 
1901 The Army War College was established in Washington, DC. 
1910 New York's Pennsylvania Station opened. 
1970 Pope Paul VI, visiting the Philippines, was attacked at 
  the Manila airport by a Bolivian painter disguised as a priest. 
1973 The U.S. Senate voted to confirm Gerald R. Ford as vice 
  president after the resignation of Spiro T. Agnew. 
1978 San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and City Supervisor 
  Harvey Milk, a gay-rights activist, were shot to death inside 
  City Hall by Dan White, a former supervisor. 
1983 183 people were killed when a Colombian Avianca Airlines 
  Boeing 747 crashed near Barajas airport in Madrid. 
1985 The British House of Commons approved the Anglo-Irish 
  accord giving Dublin a consulting role in the governing of 
  British-ruled Northern Ireland. 
1989 107 people were killed when a bomb destroyed a Colombian 
  jetliner minutes after the plane had taken off from Bogota's 
  international airport. Police blamed the incident on drug 
1992 In Venezuela, rebel forces tried but failed to overthrow 
 President Carlos Andres Perez for the second time in ten months.
2014  smiled.
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