Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, January 19

Thank You, Virginia!!

___________________________________________________
Today, January 19 in 
1937 Howard Hughes set a transcontinental air record. He
flew from Los Angeles to New York City in 7 hours, 28
minutes and 25 seconds.

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Today's Bonehead Award:

Chicago Rev ripped off at least 1 M
from Children's Food program
                     
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In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a
question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.
--- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
_____________________________________________

Little Johnny comes home from school with his report card
which has all D's and F's. 
His parents start lecturing him, and Johnny explains that
everyone in his class did poorly, not just him. 

"But what about David down the street," they said, "he
brought home all A's and B's" 

"Well, David is different," Johnny explained. 

"How so?" his father asked. 

"Because his parents are smart!" 
________________________________________________`




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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by 

Rev Clarence Smith,

Chicago

Chicago Rev ripped off at least 1 M
from Children's Food program

A Chicago pastor has been charged with stealing hundreds of
thousands of dollars from a food program that feeds needy
children.

In an eight-page indictment, federal prosecutors outlined a
case against Clarence Smith. They said he fraudulently
received more than $900,000 through the New Life Community
Ministries from the Illinois State Board of Education.

The money was administered by the Board of Education for a
federally-funded food program. According to the indictment,
Smith allegedly took the money but was not following through
in providing meals to poor children at Smith's North
Lawndale church.

Some neighbors said Smith's mission seemed true years ago,
but they wondered what was going on recently.

"He was coming around in Jordans and Bentleys and new cars,
and I'm like, wait a minute, pastors don't do that," said
Ravin Cosey, a North Lawndale resident.

"It is so infuriating," said Shameka Turner, who is part of
the Residents Association of the West Side.

Turner had never heard of Smith, but saw Friday's headlines.

"I feel like there are a lot of people who get funded who
say they are helping us but in actuality they are not," she
said.

Reverend Smith spoke with ABC7 by phone Friday and later
offered a statement, saying in part, "I totally deny any and
all allegations of fraud. I've served the community for
years and will let this play out in court."

Late Friday the Illinois State Board of Education confirmed
that New Life Community Ministries was terminated in 2016
for not providing records of meals claimed.

At the time, ISBE claimed the organization owed the state
$3.3 million dollars. 



DearWebby's Tech Support Pits

From: Richard
Re: Babelfish

Dear Webby Team,
I’m writing because you cite Babelfish.com in this post on
Webby.

At Digital.com, we've published a "long read" on the rise
and fall of Altavista's Babel Fish, which I thought make a
useful addition.

It covers everything from the birth of the first online
translator (and the geek-friendly name!) through to its
demise at the hands of Google Translate. You'll find the
article here:-

https://digital.com/about/babel-fish/

Would you consider citing our link alongside the existing
Babelfish reference, please? I think this article would keep
your content current and Webby readers. readers happy - love
to hear what you think.

Either way, thank you for your time and consideration.

Best wishes,

Richard
Digital.com 

Dear Richard
That link to Babelfish.com still works,
but your story is quite interesting anyway.
I have used the Babelfish for many decades, and of course, I
have read "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" in the 80s.
I even remember the lady, who gave it to me!

Have FUN!
DearWebby




Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 


A State Police Officer exited the freeway near one of those 
chicken restaurants and noticed that a customer had left a 
bucket of chicken on top of his car and was driving out of
the parking lot.  The officer decided to pull him over and
perform a community service by giving the driver his
chicken.  So, he pulled him over, walked up to the car,
pulled the bucket off the roof and offered it to the driver.


The driver says, "No thanks, I just bought some." 



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the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!


     
___________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Stress Free Holiday Baking
I am in my 60s, and have been baking since I can remember.
Every holiday season, I churn out many dozens of cookies for
gifts for neighbors, friends and relatives. People ask for
certain types every year.

My biggest tip is to make your cookie doughs ahead of time
and freeze them or chill them in labeled zip top bags. Make
multiple doughs on the same day in your stand mixer-wipe out
bowl between different doughs and keep going. This saves
lots of cleanup. Yes, you'll have a big bowl and lots of
measuring cups, zesters and spoons to wash, but just once.

When the doughs are done, pick a "bake off day". Let each
dough become malleable outside the fridge, and start
scooping or rolling. Your only cleanup could end up being a
single cookie scoop, especially if you bake on parchment.

Happy baking!
By Virginia W.ikellis1952@yahoo.com|Mike|HuMorL2 Ding1 humor2 01182020

Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than
just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips,
then
you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun

____________________________________________________





 
9 Scariest and Most Dangerous Bridges in the World 
___________________________________________________

A mother was trying to get her son to eat spinach (which he
hated). He absolutely refused to eat it!  So, thinking she
would substitute another green vegetable that was just as
nutritious, she served her son asparagus.

When her son looked at his plate, he gasped in fright "Oh,
no, spinach legs!"

___________________________________________________

 The teacher asked her class what each wanted to become when
 they grew up. A chorus of responses came from all over the
 room. "A football player," "A doctor," "An astronaut,"
"The
 president," "A fireman," "A teacher," "A race car driver."
 Everyone that is, except Tommy.

 The teacher noticed he was sitting there quiet and still.
 So she said to him, "Tommy, what do you want to be when you
 grow up?"

 "Possible" Tommy replied.

 "Possible?" asked the teacher.

 "Yes," Tommy said. "My mom is always telling me I'm
impossible.
 So when I get to be big, I want to be possible."

___________________________________________________

An American diplomat was speaking to a large crowd at a
public meeting in Abidjan, Ivory Coast, Africa. Out of
respect for the audience, and for the interpreter, he spoke
slowly. He also told some jokes, likewise very slowly. 

After each joke, he was amazed how the translator used only
a few words to make the crowd roar with laughter. Afterwards
the diplomat asked the interpreter, "How did you manage to
tell each joke so rapidly?" 

"Oh, it's easy," said the interpreter. "I just said, 'He
told a joke. Laugh!'"

__________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the
double opt-in confirmation request.

___________________________________________________



Today January 19 in
1419 Rouen surrendered to Henry V, completing his conquest
of Normandy.

1793 King Louis XVI was tried by the French Convention,
found guilty of treason and sentenced to the guillotine.

1825 Ezra Daggett and Thomas Kensett of New York City
patented a canning process to preserve salmon, oysters and
lobsters.

1883 Thomas Edison's first village electric lighting system
using overhead wires began operation in Roselle, NJ.

1915 George Claude, of Paris, France, patented the neon
discharge tube for use in advertising signs.

1915 More than 20 people were killed when German zeppelins
bombed England for the first time. The bombs were dropped on
Great Yarmouth and King's Lynn.

1937 Howard Hughes set a transcontinental air record. He
flew from Los Angeles to New York City in 7 hours, 28
minutes and 25 seconds.

1942 The Japanese invaded Burma (later Myanmar).

1944 The U.S. federal government relinquished control of the
nation's railroads after the settlement of a wage dispute.

1949 The salary of the President of the United States was
increased from $75,000 to $100,000 with an additional
$50,000 expense allowance for each year in office.

1953 Sixty-eight percent of all TV sets in the U.S. were
tuned to CBS-TV, as Lucy Ricardo, of "I Love Lucy," gave
birth to a baby boy.

1955 U.S. President Eisenhower allowed a filmed news
conference to be used on television (and in movie newsreels)
for the first time.

1957 Philadelphia comedian, Ernie Kovacs, did a half-hour TV
show without saying a single word of dialogue.

1966 Indira Gandhi was elected prime minister of India.

1969 In protest against the Russian invasion of 1968, Czech
student Jan Palach set himself on fire in Prague's Wenceslas
Square.

1971 At the Charles Manson murder trial, the Beatles'
"Helter Skelter" was played. At the scene of one of his
gruesome murders, the words "helter skelter" were written on
a mirror.

1977 U.S. President Ford pardoned Iva Toguri D'Aquino (the
"Tokyo Rose").

1979 Former U.S. Attorney General John N. Mitchell was
released on parole after serving 19 months at a federal
prison in Alabama.

1981 The U.S. and Iran signed an agreement paving the way
for the release of 52 Americans held hostage for more than
14 months and for arrangements to unfreeze Iranian assets
and to resolve all claims against Iran.

1983 China announced that it was bannning 1983 purchases of
cotton, soybeans and chemical fibers from the United States.

1993 IBM announced a loss of $4.97 billion for 1992. It was
the largest single-year loss in U.S. corporate history.

1995 Russian forces overwhelmed the resistance forces in
Chechnya.

1996 U.S. first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was subpoenaed
to appear before a federal grand jury. The investigation was
concerning the discovery of billing records related to the
Whitewater real estate investment venture.

1997 Yasser Arafat returned to Hebron for the first time in
more than 30 years. He joined 60,000 Palestinians in
celebration over the handover of the last West Bank city in
Israeli control.

2001 Texas officials demoted a warden and suspended three
other prison workers in the wake of the escape of the "Texas
7."

2006 NASA's New Horizons spacecraft was launched. The
mission was the first to investigate Pluto.

2013 In Scottsdale, AZ, the original Batmobile for the TV
series "Batman" sold at auction for $4.6 million. It was the
first of six Batmobiles produced for the show. 

2019  smiled.



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, that's all for today.



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