Good Morning, !

Today is Sunday, November 18

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Woman who identified as a vampire stabbed boyfriend 'because he
was a werewolf'

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Today, November 18 in
1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of 
standard time zones. 
More of today in history at History
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A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about
himself and then says them about other people.
--- Peter McArthur

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and
applaud yourself.
--- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) 

Junk - stuff we throw away. Stuff - junk we keep.
--- Da Funk
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"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart,"
said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."

"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" said the new
husband.

"Toast and juice," the bride replied.

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During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a
popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a
man from the back of the theater yelled, "Hey, how'd you do
that?"

"I could tell you sir," the magician answered, "but then
I'd have to kill you."

After a short pause the man yelled back, "Ok then... just
tell my wife!"
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 and his family lived in the country, and as a
result seldom had guests. He was eager to help his mother
after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.

When the dinner was nearly over,  went to the
kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie,
giving it to his father who passed it to a guest.

 came in with a second piece of pie and
gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest.

This was too much for , who said, "It's no use,
Dad. The pieces are all the same size."

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Thanks to Donny for this picture of his early Christmas Cactus




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___________________________________________________





An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Ekaterina Tirskaya, 22,
Novosibirsk, 
Russia

Woman who identified as a vampire stabbed boyfriend 'because he
was a werewolf'

A woman who thought she was a vampire from a TV show stabbed
her new boyfriend to try and 'fulfil her mission to slay
werewolves'. Ekaterina Tirskaya, 22, believed she was Elena
Gilbert, the main character in fantasy drama The Vampire
Diaries, she told police. A psychological assessment carried
out before her trial in Novosibirsk, Russia, reportedly found
her to be sane.

Tirskaya and her unnamed lover slept together for the first
time after meeting on social media, the court was told. In the
morning she suddenly 'changed', telling him she was a vampire
and like Elena Gilbert, played by Canadian actress Nina Dobrev,
had to slay werewolves. He said he didn't believe in the
supernatural, and urged her to go home, the court heard. 'She
grabbed a knife in the kitchen and suddenly attacked him when
he was getting out of the bath,' one report said.

'He managed to get hold of the knife. 'But she grabbed another
one and stabbed him in the chest.' He staggered out of his flat
and banged on neighbours doors pleading for help. They called
for an ambulance and police.

The man was gravely wounded but survived the February attack.
Prosecutor Felix Kuznetsov said she was sentenced to two and a
half years in prison after being found guilty of inflicting
grievous bodily harm. She was also ordered to pay œ3,900 in
'moral damages' to her stabbed lover.


Bob
Re: MailWasher and Malwarebytes

Dear Webby
I have finally decided to get mailwasher because i get so much
spam every day. I wanted to know if I can keep my Malwarebytes
with it. 
Do I need to keep my virus protection because reading about it,
it mentions virus control in it.

Thanks, Bob

Dear Bob
Yes, sure you can keep MawareBytes!
MalwareBytes protects you from evil shit that you get via
browsers.
MailWasher protects you from spam, and bad stuff coming in via
email.

The two of them are like a Marine at the front door, and a Navy
Seal at your back door. They guard different doors, but both
protect you.

The nice part about MailWasher, it lets you preview the headers
of mail, including the hidden parts that you otherwise never
see, and lets you nuke those mails right on the server, without
ever downloading that crap.

For example, a sender might pretend to be PayPal, and in your
email program even look like PayPal. The MailWasher preview
shows you IN RED, that the underlying, hidden  actual address
is a Russian .ru address.
And it flags it for Deleting.
When you hit F6 to process, that mail goes straight to hell. 
You don't even have to download it.

I use the same addresses since 1994, and they are in all
spammer's CDs.
So what? 
I have been using MailWasher since about 1996, and I only see
the 100 or so mails, that I actually want to read.

By all means GET MailWasher  as fast as you can.
You have seen messages from people, who have kicked themselves
for not getting it a long time ago. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
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An English 101 class was asked to write a SHORT essay
containing four elements: religion, royalty, sex, and mystery.
The only "A+" in the class read:

"My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant! I wonder who did it?"



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Thanks to Connie for this classic:

A minister was opening his mail one morning.  Drawing a
single sheet of paper from an envelope he found written 
on it only one word:  "FOOL".

The next Sunday he announced, "I have known many people
who have written letters and forgot to sign their name.

"But this week I received a letter from someone who signed
his name and had forgotten to write a letter."

___________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Disguising Gifts for Curious Kids
Assign a number for each person in your family and then put 
the number on the presents instead of a name. That way, 
children won't go rummaging through presents to see which
presents are theirs. When it is time to open gifts, tell 
everyone what their number is. 

Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

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2018 Comedy Wildlife Awards plus previous years.

___________________________________________________

Two salesmen were writing up their orders when the 
conversation came around to last night's big date. 
"So, how'd it go, Harry?"  asked Gil.

"Terrible," admitted Harry. "The moment we got back to her 
place the phone started ringing. There must have been 
fifteen calls from guys wanting to ask her out. It never 
stopped, and we never got started."

Gil tried to comfort him. "It could have been worse, Harry. 
After all, an attractive young woman's allowed to have her 
number in the phone book, now isn't she?"

"Yeah, but not with a picture in the Yellow Pages."

___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he 
asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?"

"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.

"That's not an offense", said the judge. 
"How early were you doing this shopping?"

"A few hours before the store opened."




Today November 18 in
1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the
Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in
England. 

1820 Captain Nathaniel Palmer became the first American to
sight the continent of Antarctica. 

1865 Samuel L. Clemens published "The Celebrated Jumping Frog
of Calaveras County" under the pen name "Mark Twain" in the New
York "Saturday Press." 

1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time
zones. 

1903 The U.S. and Panama signed a treaty that granted the U.S.
rights to build the Panama Canal. 

1916 Douglas Haig, commander of the British Expeditionary Force
in World War I, called off the Battle of the Somme in France.
The offensive began on July 1, 1916. 

1928 The first successful sound-synchronized animated cartoon
premiered in New York. It was Walt Disney's "Steamboat Willie,"
starring Mickey Mouse. 

1936 Germany and Italy recognized the Spanish government of
Francisco Franco. 

1959 William Wyler's "Ben-Hur" premiered at Loew's Theater in
New York City's Times Square. 

1966 U.S. Roman Catholic bishops did away with the rule against
eating meat on Fridays. 

1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles "Pete" Conrad Jr. and Alan L.
Bean landed on the lunar surface during the second manned
mission to the moon. 

1976 The parliament of Spain approved a bill that established a
democracy after 37 years of dictatorship. 

1983 Argentina announced its ability to produce enriched
uranium for use in nuclear weapons. 

1987 The U.S. Congress issued the Iran-Contra Affair report.
The report said that President Ronald Reagan bore "ultimate
responsibility" for wrongdoing by his aides. 

1987 CBS Inc. announced it had agreed to sell its record
division to Sony Corp. for about $2 billion. 

1988 U.S. President Reagan signed major legislation provided
the death penalty for drug traffickers who kill. 

1993 The U.S. House of Representatives joined the U.S. Senate
in approving legislation aimed at protecting abortion
facilities, staff and patients. 

1993 Representatives from 21 South African political parties
approved a new constitution. 

1997 First Union Corp. announced its purchase of CoreStates
Financial Corp. for $16.1 billion. To date it was the largest
banking deal in U.S. history. 

2018  smiled.


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, that's all for today.



Have FUN !

Dear Webby from Webby.com


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