Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, April 23

Great big panic here! A friend from the Yukon, whom I had not
seen for 25 years, and his wife, will be coming for a visit,
at 11 am !!! 
Because I have reverted to an untamed bachelor, without a woman
nagging me to clean up, the house is a MESS! I mopped the
floors, but that was the easy part. I better get really busy
between now and 11 am!
I wish I could call somebody for help!

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Today, April 23 in
1988 Kanellos Kanelopoulos set three world records for human-
powered flight when he stayed in the air for 74 miles and four
hours in his pedal-powered "Daedalus". 
 More of today in history at History
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please donate what you can!





Today's Bonehead Award: 
Officer returned home to find man stealing stuff

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Never harbor grudges; they sour your stomach and 
do no harm to anyone else.
--- Robertson Davies

 The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask
his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know.
--- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for
others to laugh at him.
--- Thomas Szasz

Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.
--- Alfred E. Newman
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Thanks to Ann for this report:

'Hello?' 
'Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?' 

'No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.' 

After a brief pause..., Daddy says, 'But honey, you haven't got
an Uncle Paul.' 

'Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, Right
Now.' 

Brief Pause.... 

'Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone
down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door
and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the
driveway..' 

'Okay, Daddy, Just a minute.' 

A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. 'I
did it, Daddy.' 

'And what happened, honey?' he asked. 

'Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes 
on and ran around screaming. 
Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser 
and now she isn't moving at all!' 

'Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?' 

'He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all 
scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the 
swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out 
the water on the weekend to clean it. He hit the bottom of the 
pool and I think he's dead.' 

Long Pause... 

Longer Pause ....... 

Even Longer Pause........... 

Then Daddy says, 'Swimming pool? .......Is this 486-5731?' 

'No, I think you have the wrong number."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Michael James Crockett,
37,
Fishers,
Indiana

Officer returned home to find man stealing stuff
 
Police say a Hamilton County corrections officer returned home
Monday to find a man leaving his home with several stolen items.

Police received a report of a possible burglary in the 16100
block of Southeastern Parkway shortly after 11 a.m.

The Hamilton County Sheriff's Department says 37-year-old
Michael James Crockett had a handgun and took the officer's
truck, a brown Chevrolet Silverado, since his own vehicle was
blocked in by the truck.

The stolen truck contained a police issued weapon and ballistic
vest.

Using an electronic tracking system built into the Silverado,
officers were quickly able to locate the vehicle near Michigan
Road and 62nd Street in Indianapolis.

The system allowed the truck to be deactivated so officers could
apprehend the suspect.

Police say Crockett is facing initial charges of: robbery,
burglary, theft, possession of a firearm by a serious violent
felon and Pointing a Firearm.




From: Eddie
Re: Need for remote drive

Dear Webby
Got to pick your brain one more time........ here is the 
scenero ....... I have heard that you can fix another 
computer that has a minor problem and or reformat with 
out taking apart the computer (hard drive and making it a 
slave) ....... Can you hook up 2 computers using either 
USB or Ethernet Cord to scan and repair the bad computer?
 
And does the computer that is bad --- when hooking it up, 
does it have to have the monitor, keyboard and all connected?
 
Have a great day almighty and powerfull .......  Mr. Webby
Eddie

Dear 
Dear Eddie
If a computer is so messed up that you can't clean it up,
and you need to format it, you can do that without opening
it up. Just stick the set-up CD into the drive and reboot.

You CAN scan a computer over a network, but you need
to have a network license for the scanning program. The
free sample versions usually on't include that, however,
you can scan a USB drive, since it acts like a local drive.

The only time you have to take the drive out and put it
into a USB drive, is when Windows won't stay lit up or
won't boot up, but you want to salvage data before formatting
and reloading Windows.

Taking the drive out is about as technically challenging as
taking a beer out of the fridge, but might be a bit more
physically challenging, if your computer is deep under your
desk. Once the drive is in a USB drive enclosure, it acts
like the second drive of the machine, that the enclosure
is plugged into. No need for a second monitor or keyboard.

Unless you need to salvage irreplaceable data, and can't
upload it to the net or burn it onto a CD, just format and
reload. You will never be able to clean up a totally messed
up computer by using free utilities, just like the ones that
caused the mess in the first place. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby




Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

Thanks to Vickster for this story:
The husband reluctantly agreed to play in the couples alternate 
shot tournament at his club. He teed off on the first hole, 
a par four, and blistered a drive 300 yards down the middle 
of the fairway.

Upon reaching the ball, the husband said to his wife, 
"Just hit it toward the green. Anywhere around there will be
fine."

The wife proceeded to shank the ball deep into the woods. 
Undaunted, the husband said, "That's okay, sweetheart," and 
spent a full five minutes looking for the ball. He found it just

in time, but in a horrible position. He played the shot of his
life to get the ball within two feet of the hole.

He told his wife to knock the ball in. His wife then proceeded 
to knock the ball off the green and into a bunker. Still 
maintaining composure, the husband summoned all of his 
skill and holed the shot from the bunker. He took the ball out 
of the hole and, while walking off the green, put his arm around

his wife and calmly said, "Honey, that was a bogey and that's 
okay. I think we can do better on the next hole."

To which she replied, "Listen, dear, don't yell at me. Only two
of those five shots were mine!"



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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Thanks to Sandie for this story:
When we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically that 
my sons make their beds each morning.

I left for work before they left for school and I wanted to be 
sure the house looked presentable when the agent showed it to 
prospective buyers.

I was surprised and impressed that my 15-year-old son's bed 
was perfectly made each day. Until, that is, one night when 
I went into his room, I discovered his secret.

He was fast asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag.

___________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Mixing Meatloaf and Other Sticky Things
When mixing meat loaf or patting marshmallow candy into a pan,
kneading pizza dough etc., I first spray my hands with non-stick
cooking spray. It keeps the food from sticking and washes off
easily with soap and water.
Thriftyfun.com


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It's amazing how far the Monarch butterfly travels to wait out the winter.

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A friend and his wife were considering traveling to Alaska   
for a trip that the husband had long dreamed of taking. He   
kept talking about how great it would be to stay in a log   
cabin without electricity, to hunt moose, and drive a dog   
team instead of a car.   

"If we decided to live there permanently, away from civil-   
ization, what would you miss the most?" he asked his wife.   

She replied, "You."   

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My son is the manager of a glass and window company and ad-   
vertised in the paper for experienced glaziers. Since a good   
glass man is hard to find, he was pleased when a man who   
called about the job said he had over 10 years of experience.   

"Where have you worked as a glazier?" my son asked.   

The man replied, "Dunkin' Donuts."   

___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the
double opt-in confirmation request.


Thanks to Dave for this story:
The Ferrari F1 Racing Team recently fired the whole pit crew 
to employ some young unemployed youths from Liverpool. 
The decision to hire them was brought on by a documentary 
on how unemployed youths in the Liverpool area can remove 
a set of car wheels in less than 4 seconds without proper 
equipment. This was thought to be a good move as most 
races are won and lost in the pits these days, and Ferrari 
would thus have an advantage.

However, Ferrari soon encountered a major problem: 
Not only were the lads changing the tires in under 4 seconds 
but within another 10 seconds had repainted, renumbered 
and sold the vehicle to the McLaren team.

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Today April 23 in
1348 The first English order of knighthood was founded. It was
the Order of the Garter. 

1500 Pedro Cabal claimed Brazil for Portugal. 

1521 The Comuneros were crushed by royalist troops in Spain. 

1635 The Boston Public Latin School was established. It was the
first public school building in the United States. 

1759 The British seized Basse-Terre and Guadeloupe in the
Antilies from France. 

1789 U.S. President George Washington moved into Franklin House,
New York. It was the first executive mansion. 

1789 "Courier De Boston" was published for the first time. It
was the first Roman Catholic magazine in the U.S. 

1826 Missolonghi fell to Egyptian forces. 

1861 Arkansas troops seized Fort Smith. 

1872 Charlotte E. Ray became the first African-American woman
lawyer. 

1895 Russia, France, and Germany forced Japan to return the
Liaodong peninsula to China. 

1896 The Vitascope system for projecting movies onto a screen
was demonstrated in New York City. 

1900 The word "hillbilly" was first used in print in an article
in the "New York Journal." It was spelled "Hill-Billie". 

1908 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt signed an act creating
the U.S. Army Reserve. 

1920 The Turkish Grand National Assembly had its first meeting
in Ankara. 

1924 The U.S. Senate passed the Soldiers Bonus Bill. 

1945 The Soviet Army fought its way into Berlin. 

1950 Chaing evacuated Hainan, leaving mainland China to Mao and
the communists. 

1951 The Associated Press began use of the new service of
teletype setting. 

1967 The Soyuz 1 was launched by Russia. 

1968 The Methodist Church and the Evangelical United Brethren
Church merged to form the United Methodist Church. 

1971 The Soyuz 10 was launched. 

1981 The Soviet Union conducted an underground nuclear test at
their Semipaltinsk (Kazakhstan) test site. 

1982 The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported that consumer
prices declined the previous month (March). It was the first
decline in almost 17 years. 

1984 The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services announced
that Dr. Robert Gallo and his colleagues had found the cause of
AIDS. It was a retrovirus the labled HTLV-III. 

1985 The Coca-Cola Company announced that it was changing its
99-year-old secret formula. New Coke was not successful, which
resulted in the resumption of selling the original version. 

1988 A U.S. federal law took effect that banned smoking on
flights that were under two hours. 

1988 In Martinez, CA, a drain valve was left open at the Shell
Marsh. More than 10,000 barrels of oil poured into the marsh
adjoining Peyton Slough. 

1988 Kanellos Kanelopoulos set three world records for human-
powered flight when he stayed in the air for 74 miles and four
hours in his pedal-powered "Daedalus". 

1996 An auction of the late Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis'
possessions began at Sotheby's in New York City. The sale
brought in #34.5 million. 

1997 An infertility doctor in California announced that a 63-
year-old woman had given birth in late 1996. The child was from
a donor egg. The woman is the oldest known woman to give birth. 

2004 U.S. President George W. Bush eased sanctions against Libya
in return for Moammar Gadhafi's agreement to give up weapons of
mass destruction. 

2005 The first video was uploaded to YouTube.com. 

2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 1 billion applications
downloaded. 

2019  smiled.


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Well, 
, that's all for today.



Have FUN !

Dear Webby from Webby.com


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