Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
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Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, August 14
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the
troops!

___________________________________________________
International Bonehead
Mother dragged to death by 
hit-and-run driver who circled 
back to strike her again
_____________________________________________________
Today, Aug 15
 In 
1914 The Panama Canal was officially opened to commercial
traffic as an American ship sailed from the Atlantic to
the Pacific Ocean. The first vessel to pass through the
canal was the American cargo and passenger ship SS Ancon.

_____________________________________________________
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep
alone.
--- Anthony Burgess (1917 - 1993)  

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to
it.
--- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
_____________________________________________________

Dogs teach us many things

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your
face to be pure ecstasy.

When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps and stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting, when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady
tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the
guilt thing and pout ... run right back and make friends.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had
enough.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by
and nuzzle them gently.

_____________________________________________________
 


Juniper Tree
___________________________________________________

Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing
several paintings from the Louvre.  However, after
planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he
was captured only 2 blocks away when his Econoline van
ran out of gas.  When asked how he could mastermind such
a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:
"Alas, I had no Monet to buy Degas to make ze Van Gogh."

___________________________________________________



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by 

Edgar Roman,
25,
Albany Park,
Chicago,
Illinois,
USA

Mother dragged to death by hit-and-run driver who circled back to strike her again

A driver struck a mother and daughter Monday on the Near North Side while making a U-turn, only to drive around the block and strike the mother again, dragging her to her death for a half block, according to police. Witnesses told investigators that Edgar Roman, of Albany Park, was parked on southbound State Street at 10:30 p.m. when he made a U-turn at Hubbard Street and struck a 55- year-old woman and her daughter, police said. Roman, 25, continued driving north on State, turned right on Illinois and circled back to the initial crash, striking the 55-year-old woman again, police said The Arizona woman was dragged about half a block and was pronounced dead at the scene, authorities said. "It was a gruesome scene and I personally didn't want to get too close," said Anthony Smith. Smith told ABC7 he saw the SUV hit the women, take off, then return, striking the mother a second time as he helped rush the daughter to safety. Police have not confirmed if the suspect hit anyone multiple times. "My husband and I saw it out our window, we live above and we see everything happening, we can hear it all," said Alice Hampton. "It is now to the point of being incredibly upsetting, it is just traumatic." Officers nearby tried to stop Roman but he sped off and crashed through a barricade onto Merchandise Mart Plaza, police said. An hour later, Roman walked into the 17th District police station, 4650 N. Pulaski Rd., in Albany Park and claimed to be the victim of a carjacking, police said. Officers recognized him as matching the description of the suspect in the fatal hit-and-run and took him in for questioning, police said. He was later charged with murder, two counts of attempted murder, leaving the scene of an accident and false reporting of an incident. The woman's granddaughter told a television station in Phoenix that she was an "innocent person that is just so sweet, doesn't hurt anyone. She always makes sure everyone's good before herself." The woman's daughter-in-law Stephanie Logue said her daughter was also hit by the driver, and suffered broken arms and ribs. Ald. Brian Hopkins (2nd) on Tuesday claimed the hit-and- run was tied to reckless driving of looters downtown, although detectives hadn't yet confirmed that.

DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Ellen RE: Second monitor Dear Webby My daughter uses two monitors at her work, and I really like that. Since monitors are really cheap now, I got a used one for a song. How do I set it up on my W7 ? Ellen Dear Ellen Look how your existing monitor is set up. Most likely it is connected with a standard 15 pin plug. If it is, then you need one of the new DVI monitor cables. They are wider, have more pins, and have a blank section on one side. They cost about the same, around $10. Modern monitors have sockets for both types, and so do computers. Leave the existing cable in place, and use the other type of cable for the new monitor. You also have to connect the power cable. Once it is plugged in, it should show something. Right-click in any blank place on the Windows 7 desktop and choose Screen Resolution. You see the Display Settings dialog box, where you can set up multiple monitors. Click the 1 box to set up your first monitor and 2 to set up the second. You can swap them around. If the new monitor is dark when you come back from making coffee, don't panic. That is just a power saving feature, that you can change in Windows, Modern monitors take about as much electricity as your alarm clock, so I would not worry about that. If it is set to turn off when you are away, just move the mouse and the picture will light up again. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,
Please donate a dollar,
or two, if you can afford it!
Please, help me stay online!

_____________________________________________

Last time Bill was in the hospital, he really enjoyed
himself: Patting the bottoms of the pretty nurses,
offering to show them his circumcision scar, and the
like. One nurse finally had all she could stand of his
crude behavior and said, "A pervert like you should be
living in a whore house!"

Bill grinned at her and said, "Well, it WOULD be
cheaper than here, but I can't get my insurance to pay
for it."
_____________________________________________ 

Audrey called in a repairman to fix her electric clock.
He examined it and told her, "There's nothing wrong with
the clock. You didn't have it plugged in."

Audrey replied, "I don't want to waste electricity, so I
only plug it in when I want to know what time it is."

____________________________________________ 

Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really
good for anything, but you still can't help but
smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________

Today August 15 in 
1057 Macbeth, the King of Scotland, was killed by the son
of King Duncan.

1848 The dental chair was patented by M. Waldo Hanchett.

1911 The product Crisco was introduced by Procter &
Gamble Company.

1914 The Panama Canal was officially opened to commercial
traffic as an American ship sailed from the Atlantic to
the Pacific Ocean. The first vessel to pass through the
canal was the American cargo and passenger ship SS Ancon.

1918 Diplomatic ties between the U.S. and Russia were
severed.

1935 Will Rogers and Wiley Post were killed in an
airplane crash near Point Barrow, AK.

1939 "The Wizard of Oz" premiered in Hollywood, CA. Judy
Garland became famous for the movie's song "Somewhere
Over the Rainbow."

1943 Because of his special talent to use food scraps in
both unusual and appetizing recipes, the U.S. War
Department awarded Sgt. Edward Dzuba the Legion of Merit.

1944 The Allied forces of World War II landed in southern
France.

1945 The Allies proclaimed V-J Day a day after Japan
agreed to surrender unconditionally.

1947 India became independent from Britain and was
divided into the countries of India and Pakistan. India
had been under British about 200 years.

1948 The Republic of Korea was proclaimed.

1949 In San Francisco, a stunt leap off the Golden Gate
Bridge was performed for the first time.

1961 East German workers began construction of the Berlin
Wall.

1971 U.S. President Nixon announced a 90-day freeze on
wages, rents and prices.

1986 The U.S. Senate approved a package of economic
sanctions against South Africa. The ban included the
importing of steel, uranium, textiles, coal, and produce
from South Africa.

1992 Vietnam blamed Hollywood for creating the "myth"
concerning the issue of U.S. servicemen still being held
prisoner in Indochina.

1997 The U.S. Justice Department decided not to prosecute
FBI officials in connection with the deadly 1992 Ruby
Ridge siege in Idaho. The investigation dealt with an
alleged cover-up.

2000 A group of 100 people from North Korea arrived in
South Korea for temporary reunions with relatives they
had not seen for half a century. Also, a group of 100
South Koreans visited the North.

2001 Astronomers announced the discovery of the first
solar system outside our own. They had discovered two
planets orbiting a star in the Big Dipper.

2011 Google announced that it would acquire Motorola
Mobility for $12.5 billion.

2015 North Korea began using UTC+08:30 (official name
Pyongyang Time) as a rejection of Japanese imperialism.

2020 
, that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
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