Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, April 20

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Today, April 20 in
1902 Scientists Marie and Pierre Curie isolated the 
radioactive element radium. 
 More of today in history at History
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Today's Bonehead Award: 
Woman faces charges in drunken fatal crash 
involving fuel truck

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Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
--- Kurt Vonnegut (1922 - 2007)

The petty economies of the rich are just as amazing as 
the silly extravagances of the poor.
--- William Feather
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My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from 
each other.  Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told 
me he had lent it to his son.  Recalling a saying my grandmother 
used to repeat, I recited, "You should never lend anything to 
your kids, because you will never get it back." 

With that, my neighbor said, "Well, it's not even my ladder. 
It's my dad's." 

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Kritzia Lopez,
28,
Miami-Dade County,
Florida

Woman faces charges in drunken 
fatal crash involving fuel truck
 
Kritzia Lopez spent her first night at the Turner Guilford Knight
Correctional Center and it is likely that Rene Hernandez and
Natalia Landin were on her mind. They are the two people who were
killed while she was driving drunk and high, according to Florida
Highway Patrol. 

FHP troopers said Lopez, 28, was under the influence of alcohol
and marijuana Sept. 21 when she drove the wrong way on Florida's
Turnpike. 
Lopez, 28, was arrested Wednesday on two counts of DUI
manslaughter, two counts of vehicular homicide, one count of DUI
with serious bodily injuries and four counts of DUI with property
damage.

Investigators said Lopez first crashed into a Tropic Oil Co.
truck near Southwest 88th Street. The truck hit a Chevrolet
Impala and a Ford.

Hernandez, Landin and Mirta Estupinan were in the Impala. The
crash left Hernandez, 68, and Landin, 67, dead. Estupinan, 67,
was among the eight people injured.

The leaking truck prompted authorities to shut down a portion of
the turnpike for several hours.

Lopez turned herself in Wednesday night at the Turner Guilford
Knight Correctional Center and was booked into jail.




From: Ronnie
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Ronnie

Dear Ronnie
Yes, 7-Zip works fine too, even though it does not integrate
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Have FUN!
DearWebby




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A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying: 

"Remember, the first five minutes of a human 
being's life are the most dangerous." 

Underneath, a nurse had written: 

"The last five are pretty risky, too."



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The boss at the pub went up to the bartender and asked,
"Have you been fooling around with the waitress?!"

"Oh no, sir, I sure haven't," replied the bartender.

The boss replied, "Good, then YOU fire her!"

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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Take a Break From Your Computer
Avoid sitting in front of your computer for more than 30 minutes
at a time. If you find you lose track of time, set a timer to go
off in 30 minutes. Then get up, stretch, and walk around a bit
before sitting back down. It also helps ease eye strain if you
periodically look at distant objects.
Thriftyfun.com


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The Shirk Report

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Boudreaux and Pierre decided to go to the casino.
Boudreaux told Pierre as they entered, "All right
Pierre, we'll meet here in an hour, OK?"

"OK, man," said Pierre.

Well, when they were done, Boudreaux was
broke, but Pierre had a bucket full of quarters.

"Man, were you got all 'em quarters?" asked
Boudreaux.

Pierre, leaning close, whispered, "Man, I don't
wann say this too loud, but you see that game
over there, every time I put in a dollar, it give
me four quarters!"'
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I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me
struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his
wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power
shortage caused the lights to flicker overhead.

"Ah," he sighed, "that must be her checking out now."

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Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the
double opt-in confirmation request.


Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town's morals,
recently accused George, a local man, of being an alcoholic
because she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town's 
only bar.

George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing.

Later that evening, after he finished fixing the plumbing 
in the bar, he and his apprentices parked their pickup trucks 
in front of her house and left them there all night.

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Today April 20 in
1534 Jacques Cartier, a French explorer, set sail from St. Malo
to explore the North American coastline. 

1653 In England, Oliver Cromwell expelled the Long Parliament for
trying to pass the Perpetuation Bill that would have kept
Parliament in the hands of only a few members. 

1689 The siege of Londonderry began. Supporters of James II
attacked the city. 

1769 Ottawa Chief Pontiac was murdered by an Illinois Indian in
Cahokia. 

1775 American troops began the siege of British-held Boston. 

1792 France declared war on Austria, Prussia, and Sardinia. It
was the start of the French Revolutionary wars. 

1809 Napoleon defeated Austria at Battle of Abensberg, Bavaria. 

1832 Hot Springs National Park was intially created by an act of
the U.S. Congress. It was the first time a piece of land was set
aside by the U.S. government to preserve the area for recreation.
The area was made a national park on March 4, 1921. 

1837 Erastus B. Bigelow was granted a patent for his power loom. 

1861 Robert E. Lee resigned from U.S. Army. 

1865 Safety matches were first advertised. 

1879 First mobile home (horse drawn) was used in a journey from
London to Cyprus. 

1902 Scientists Marie and Pierre Curie isolated the radioactive
element radium. 

1916 Sir Roger Casement landed in Ireland to incite rebellion
against the British. Casement, a British diplomat, was captured
within hours and was hanged for high treason on August 3. 

1919 The Polish Army captured Vilno, Lithuania from the Soviets. 

1940 The First electron microscope was demonstrated by RCA. 

1942 Pierre Laval, the premier of Vichy France, in a radio
broadcast, establishes a policy of "true reconciliation with
Germany." 

1945  At the end of World War II Soviet troops began their attack
on Berlin. 

1945 At the end of World War II, Allied forces took control of
the German cities of Nuremberg and Stuttgart. 

1953 Operation Little Switch began in Korea. It was the exchange
of sick and wounded prisoners of war. Thirty Americans were
freed. 

1953 The Boston marathon was won by Keizo Yamada with a record
time of 2:18:51. 

1962 The New Orleans Citizens' Council offered a free one-way
ride for blacks to move to northern states. 

1967 U.S. planes bombed Haiphong for first time during the
Vietnam War. 

1971 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the use of busing to achieve
racial desegregation in schools. 

1972 The manned lunar module from Apollo 16 landed on the moon. 

1981 A spokesman for the U.S. Navy announced that the U.S. was
accepting full responsibility for the sinking of the Nissho Maru
on April 9. 

1984 Britain announced that its administration of Hong Kong would
cease in 1997. 

1985 In Madrid, Santiago Carillo was purged from the Communist
Party. Carillo was a founder of Eurocommunism. 

1987 In Argentina, President Raul Alfonsin quelled a military
revolt. 

1988 The U.S. Air Forces' Stealth (B-2 bomber) was officially
unveiled. 

1989 Scientist announced the successful testing of high-
definition TV. 

1991 Mikhail Gorbachev became the first Soviet head of state to
visit South Korea. 

1992 The worlds largest fair, Expo '92, opened in Seville, Spain.


1998 Kenyan runner Moses Tanui, 32, won the Boston Marathon for
the second time. He also registered the third fastest time with 2
hours 7 minutes and 34 seconds. 

2019  smiled.


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