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Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, December 5


If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it!

Thank you, David !!
Thank you,
___________________________________________________
International Bonehead Award
Attacker is fatally beaten and stabbed
by victim’s mother and sister
____________________________________
Today, December 5 in
1945 The so-called "Lost Squadron" disappeared. The five U.S. Navy
Avenger bombers carrying 14 Navy flyers began a training mission
at the Ft. Lauderdale Naval Air Station. They were never heard
from again.
_____________________________________________________
If you want to know what God thinks of money,
just look at the people he gave it to.
--- Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967)
_____________________________________________________

Two paramedics were dispatched to check on an elderly man
who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the
hospital for evaluation.

En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to
determine his level of awareness.

Leaning close, one asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing
right now?"

The old man slowly looked out the ambulance window. "Oh,"
he replied, "I'd say about 50, maybe 55."
_____________________________________________________


___________________________________________________
> From Judy
Had to send you this true story:
My niece has 4 kids and was breast feeding the baby when #3 child,
Jack wanted to climb up into her lap. During the process he was
using his elbows to push his way up and hit her other breast so
she said 'watch the elbows Jack'. When Grandmother came over
later, Jack climbed up into her lap, patted her rather ample bosom
and said 'I like your elbows, Grandma'. Needless to say, they will
always be elbows to us from now on!
_______________________________________________

Reported by Dr Moe


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Justin Goss,
40,
Glendale,
California
USA

Attacker is fatally beaten and stabbed by victim’s mother and sister

A man who broke into a South Pasadena home and attacked his estranged girlfriend died after he was stabbed and beaten by the woman’s mother and sister Saturday morning, authorities said. The man threw a large concrete paver through the front window of a home in the 500 block of Five Oaks Drive, stepped inside and began choking the woman and punching her in the face, said Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Lt. Barry Hall. The woman’s mother and sister came to her aid, stabbing the man with a kitchen knife and beating him with a golf club, Hall said. “They tried to pull him off, and it didn’t work; he was too strong,” Hall said. “So they had to resort to using weapons.” South Pasadena police officers responding to a report of domestic violence entered through the shattered window and found the man, who was pronounced dead at the scene by the South Pasadena Fire Department, authorities said. The L.A. County coroner’s office identified him as Justin Goss, 40, of Glendale. The woman, 37, was taken to a hospital, treated for injuries to her face and released, officials said. Her mother and sister were not facing charges, according to authorities. “They were well within their right to act in defense of their sister and daughter,” Hall said.

DearWebby's Tech Support Pits From: Enna RE: What is better, Open or Libre Dear Webby, Which is better, Open Office or Office Libre? Enna Dear Enna Both office suites offer document templates, but LibreOffice provides more built-in ready-to-use templates than OpenOffice. ... Winner: LibreOffice because features such as templates and Wizards appear to be easier to use and access. Overall, however, both have many of the same features and capabilities. For everyday work, it makes no difference. I doubt you will notice any difference if you use one at work and the other one at home. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! If you like my work,
Please donate a dollar,
or two, if you can afford it!
Please, help me stay online!

_____________________________________________

The following responses were received during a newspaper contest
in which
contestants from ages 4 to 15 were asked to provide their own
"Deep
Thoughts" (like those prepared by Jack Handey).
    * I believe you should live each day as if it is your last,
which is
why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to
wash
clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15
    * Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace
to accept
the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. --Age 13
    * It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the
president's
birthday, like they do for the queen's. Of course, then we would
have a lot
of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26,
just for
the long weekends. --Age 8
    * Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about
letting
just any old yokel vote. --Age 10
    * Home is where your house is. --Age 6
    * For centuries, people thought the moon
was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon
is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you
leave it out. --Age 6

    * As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set
aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have
a couple of days saved up. --Age 7

    * Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my
teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. --
Age 15

    * It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into
an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed
it, the blood would be right there. --Age 5

    * Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then,
imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than
the biggest number you could come up with! --Age 6

    * The only stupid question is the one that is never asked,
except maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited my
return?" or "Isn't it morally wrong to give me a warning when, in
fact, I was speeding?" --Age 15

    * If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and
visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it
would be until the looting started. --Age 15
____________________________________________

After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in bed one night,
his parents heard sobbing coming from his room.

Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically.  He managed
to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was
going to die. No amount of talking was helping.

His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from
his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy's ear.  Sammy was
delighted.

In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it,
and then cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Dad!"
____________________________________________

A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in
a hospital for several years and felt uneasy, not knowing about
all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the
elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with
tubes and wires and dials.

"Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said.

"So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning
machine."
_______________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
___________________________________________________ <(") Go to TOP


Today December 5 in
1560 Charles IX succeeded as King of France on the death of
Francis II.

1797 Napoleon Bonaparte arrived in Paris to command forces for the
invasion of England.

1812 Napoleon Bonaparte left his army as they were retreating from
Russia.

1848 U.S. President Polk triggered the Gold Rush of '49 by
confirming the fact that gold had been discovered in California.

1876 The Stillson wrench was patented by D.C. Stillson. The device
was the first practical pipe wrench.

1904 The Russian fleet was destroyed by the Japanese at Port
Arthur, during the Russo-Japanese War.

1908 At the University of Pittsburgh, numerals were first used on
football uniforms worn by college football players.

1913 Britain outlawed the sending of arms to Ireland.

1932 German physicist Albert Einstein was granted a visa making it
possible for him to travel to the U.S.

1933 Prohibition came to an end when Utah became the 36th state to
ratify the 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.

1934 Fighting broke out between Italian and Ethiopian troops on
the Somalian border.

1934 The Soviet Union executed 66 people charged with plotting
against Joseph Stalin's government.

1935 In Montebello, CA, the first commercial hydroponics operation
was established.

1936 The Soviet Union adopted a new Constitution under a Supreme
Council.

1944 During World War II, Allied troops took Ravenna, Italy.

1945 The so-called "Lost Squadron" disappeared. The five U.S. Navy
Avenger bombers carrying 14 Navy flyers began a training mission
at the Ft. Lauderdale Naval Air Station. They were never heard
from again.

1951 The first push button-controlled garage opened in Washington,
DC.

1956 British and French forces began a withdrawal from Egypt
during the Suez War.

1958 Britain's first motorway, the Preston by-pass, was opened by
Prime Minister Macmillan.

1961 United Nations forces launched an attack in Katanga, Congo,
near Elizabethville.

1962 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to cooperate in the
peaceful uses of outer space.

1971 The Soviet Union, at United Nations Security Council, vetoed
a resolution calling for a cease-fire in hostilities between India
and Pakistan over Kashmir.

1976 Jacques Chirac re-founded the Gaullist party as the RPR
(Rassemblement pour la République).

1977 Egypt broke diplomatic relations with Syria, Libya, Algeria,
Iraq and South Yemen due to peaceful relations with Israel.

1978 The American space probe Pioneer Venus I, orbiting Venus,
began beaming back its first information and picture of the
planet.

1979 Sonia Johnson was formally excommunicated by the Mormon
Church due to her outspoken support for the proposed Equal Rights
Amendment to the Constitution.

1983 In west Beirut, Lebanon, more than a dozen people were killed
when a car bomb shattered a nine-story apartment building.

1984 Iran's official news agency quoted the hijackers of a Kuwaiti
jetliner parked at Tehran airport as saying they would blow up the
plane unless Kuwait released 14 imprisoned extremists.

1986 The Soviet Union said it would continue to abide by the SALT
II treaty limits on nuclear weapons. This was despite the decision
by the U.S. to exceed them.

1988 Jim Bakker and former aide Richard Dortch were indicted by a
federal grand jury in North Carolina on fraud and conspiracy
charges.

1989 Israeli soldiers killed five heavily armed Arab guerrillas
who crossed the border from Egypt. The guerrillas were allegedly
going to launch a terrorist attack commemorating the anniversary
of the Palestinian uprising.

1989 East Germany's former leaders were placed under house arrest.

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin kept the power to appoint
Cabinet ministers, defeating a constitutional amendment that would
have put his team of reformers under the control of Russia's
Congress.

1998 James P. Hoffa became the head of the Teamsters union, 23
years after his father was the head. His father disappeared and
was presumed dead.

2001 In Germany, Afghan leaders signed a pact to create a
temporary administration for post-Taliban Afghanistan. Two women
were included in the cabinet structure. Hamid Karzai and his
Cabinet were planned to take over power in Afghanistan on December
22.

2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 300 million applications
downloaded.

2010 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft became the longest-operating
spacecraft ever sent to Mars. The Odyssey entered orbit around
Mars on October 23, 2001.

2014 NASA's Orion Multi-Purpose Crew Vehicle (MPCV) debuted when
it was launched for a four hour test flight. It landed on target
in the Pacific Ocean.

2020  smiled.
If you can help with the cost of the
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Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
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