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Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, March 27
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Michigan woman, who shot into MacDonalds
during Bacon-Rage
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1794 The U.S. Congress authorized the creation of the U.S. Navy. 
1836 In Goliad, TX, about 350 Texan prisoners, including their 
 commander James Fannin, were executed under orders from 
 Gen. Antonio López de Santa Anna. An estimated 30 Texans 
 escaped execution. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
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You can't think yourself out of a writing block, you have to write yourself out of a thinking block. --- John Rogers I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. --- A. Whitney Brown Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. --- Jane Wagner ______________________________________________________ George and Nancy get along just great, except that she's a "backseat driver" second to none. After years of putting up with her pestering, he finally decided he had enough and advised her that he would no longer drive with her in the car. Later that day, on his way home from doing some shopping at the mall, he heard his cell phone ring, just as he was merging onto a freeway. It was Nancy. By chance, she had entered the freeway right behind George. "Honey," she said, "your turn signal is still on. And put on your lights; it's starting to rain." ______________________________________________________ The pastor was doing is weekly "children's message" with the children gathered around him down front. He was talking to the youngsters on their level about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?" "Heaven!" one of the girls cried out enthusiastically. "And what do you have to be to get there?" the preacher asked. "Dead!" yelled one of the boys. ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Shaneka Monique Torres, 30, Grand Rapids Michigan Michigan woman shot into MacDonalds during Bacon-Rage A jury today found a Michigan woman guilty of firing a shot into a McDonald’s drive-thru window after employees failed to put bacon on a cheeseburger she ordered. Shaneka Monique Torres, 30, was convicted of a felony firearms charge after only an hour of deliberations by the panel. Torres, seen above, faces a minimum of two years in state prison when she is sentenced next month. Torres fired a single shot into the McDonald’s at 3:10 AM last February 10, according to Grand Rapids police. The gunplay came after Torres and another woman “complained that the order was incorrect,” cops noted. When a McDonald’s employee walked away from the drive-thru window, “one shot was fired from the suspect vehicle,” reported police, who added that the bullet entered the eatery at “head level” and “traveled through the window, across the dining room, and exited the restaurant through another window on the east side of the restaurant.” Shortly after the shooting--which did not result in any injuries--cops located Torres and recovered the 9mm Glock handgun used during the bacon rage incident. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jim Re: Ezinefinder Dear Webby, For the past couple weeks, I have not been able to get into the "Ezine Finder" to vote for the humor letter. Is my computer messed up or are they down? Below are the buttons from today's humor letter. Thanks. Keep up the good work, Jim Dear Jim Your computer is fine. Ezinefinder is down. I think they tried to update the vote counting to 2015, and have not been able to do it just yet. You can try writing to support@cumuli.com Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The Boy Scouts were out collecting bottles for a fund raising activity. One ambitious young man knocked on a door and a sour-faced lady came to the door and asked: "What do you want, Sonny?" "D-d-do you have any beer bottles for the Boy Scouts, M-m-m-ma'am?" he asked. "Look here, young man, do I look like the kind of lady who would drink beer?" replied the lady. "S-s-sorry, Ma'am," was his reply. "W-w-what about vinegar bottles?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Baking Soda for Cleaning Old Linoleum Floors I read all the posts; tried them all and then some. After scrubbing and scrubbing I found it, the solution! I bought an old house and could not afford new flooring. By far the most effective thing to do is wet the floor and sprinkle baking soda over it. Wait 15 minutes. Then scrub with a brush and wipe dry. Mop off the residue with water. I cannot believe how sparkly clean it came and the wax did not wear off. By Marrabella [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Every newspaper in New York sent a reporter and a staff photographer to the office of a local ophthalmologist when it was learned that he recently performed a successful sight- saving operation on the wife of the country's most celebrated mural artist, who, in addition to paying the doctor's usual fee, had gratefully insisted on painting one of his contemporary masterpieces across an entire wall of the doctor's waiting room. The mural turned out to be an immense multicolored picture of a human eye, in the center of which stood a perfect miniature likeness of the good doctor himself. While cameras clicked and most of the newsmen crowded around the famous artist for his comments, one cub reporter drew the eye specialist aside and asked: "Tell me, if you can, Doctor-what was your first reaction on seeing this fantastic artistic achievement covering an entire wall of your office?" "To tell the truth," the physician replied, "my first thought was, thank goodness I'm not a hemorrhoid specialist!" _____________________________________________________ It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden. ------------------------------------ Never argue with a women when she's tired -- or rested. ____________________________________________________
These 10 Weird Hobbies Were All The Rage In The Victorian Era

Today in 
1794 The U.S. Congress authorized the creation of the U.S. Navy. 
1836 In Goliad, TX, about 350 Texan prisoners, including their 
 commander James Fannin, were executed under orders from 
 Gen. Antonio López de Santa Anna. An estimated 30 Texans 
 escaped execution. 
1836 The first Mormon temple was dedicated in Kirtland, OH. 
1841 The first steam fire engine was tested in New York City. 
1860 The corkscrew was patented by M.L. Byrn. 
1884 The first long-distance telephone call was made from 
 Boston to New York. 
1899 The first international radio transmission between 
 England and France was achieved by the Italian inventor 
 G. Marconi. 
1900 The London Parliament passed the War Loan Act that 
 gave 35 million pounds to the Boer War cause in South Africa. 
1900 The Russian army mobilized 250,000 troops for active duty. 
1901 Filipino rebel leader Emilio Aguinaldo was captured by the U.S. 
1904 Mary Jarris "Mother" Jones was ordered by Colorado state 
 authorities to leave the state. She was accused of stirring up 
 striking coal miners. 
1912 The first cherry blossom trees were planted in Washington, 
 DC. The trees were a gift from Japan. 
1931 Actor Charlie Chaplin received France’s Legion of Honor
1933 About 55,000 people staged a protest against Hitler in 
 New York City. 
1941 Tokeo Yoshikawa arrived in Oahu, HI, and began spying 
 for Japan on the U.S. Fleet at Pearl Harbor. 
1942 The British raided the Nazi submarine base at 
 St. Nazaire, France. 
1946 Four-month long strikes at both General Electric and 
 General Motors ended with a wage increase. 
1952 The U.S. Eighth Army reached the 38th parallel in Korea, 
 the original dividing line between the two Koreas. 
1958 The U.S. announced a plan to explore space near the moon. 
1989 The U.S. anti-missile satellite failed the first test
1997 Russian workers, nearly 2 million, held a nationwide 
 strike to protest unpaid wages. 
1998 In the U.S., the FDA approved the prescription drug Viagra. 
2004 NASA successfully launched an unpiloted X-43A jet that hit 
 Mach 7 (about 5,000 mph). 
2007 NFL owners voted to make instant replay a permanent 
 officiating tool.
2015  smiled.
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