Dear Webby's Humor Letter
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Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, September 18

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Florida teens break into home to have sex Details at Boneheads Today, in 1930 Construction on Boulder Dam, later renamed Hoover Dam, began in Black Canyon, near Las Vegas, NV.
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My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. --- Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998) The artist doesn't have time to listen to the critics. The ones who want to be writers read the reviews, the ones who want to write don't have the time to read reviews. --- William Faulkner (1897 - 1962)
>From Nanarina A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husband?" All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?" Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn't remember. The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: "I love you, sweetheart." The women were then told to exchange phones with another person, and to read aloud the text message they received, in response. Here are some of the replies: 1. Who the hell is this? 2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what? 3. Yeah, and I love you too. What's up with you?? 4. What now? Did you wreck the car again? 5. I don't understand what you mean? 6. What the F___ did you do now? 7. You're kidding, right ? 8. Don't beat about the bush; just tell me how much you need? 9. Am I dreaming? 10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die. 11. I thought we agreed you wouldn't drink during the day. 12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn't she?
The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted. His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. "My, you look tired," she said. "You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?" "It was terrible," her husband said. "The computer broke down and all of us had to do our own thinking."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to No mugshot yet of the killer, because she is under age. Nathaniel Vivian, 20 and his girlfriend, Roswell, Georgia 16-year-old girl who fatally shot gamer for his ps4 while her baby looked on A teen girl shot and killed a man as she and her boyfriend tried to rob the victim of his Playstation 4, police say. The victim, 28-year-old Daniel John Zeitz of Roswell, Georgia, met up with the couple Friday after posting a Craigslist ad to sell the gaming console. The alleged shooter is an unnamed 16-year-old girl whose 16-month-old baby was sitting in the car, only a few feet away during the robbery, according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Sandy Springs police Sgt. Ron Momon told the paper that the suspect and her boyfriend, 20-year-old Nathaniel Vivian, met Zeitz in an apartment parking lot, posing as potential buyers. The suspects were sitting in their car when Zeitz approached at about 9:30 p.m. Vivian allegedly tried to pull the PS4 into the car. When Zeitz resisted, his girlfriend allegedly pulled the trigger on her .25 caliber handgun, sending a bullet through Vivian's hand and into Zeitz's chest, killing him. Vivian and the girl were arrested later that night when they went to Northside Hospital to treat Vivian's gunshot wound, police said. "Brookhaven police were at the hospital interviewing the injured man, who told them he was a victim of a crime in Brookhaven, but later told them he was shot while he and his girlfriend were at the Legends of Dunwoody Apartments to rob a man of his PS4 video gaming system that was advertised on Craigslist," Momon said. UPDATE: The 16-year-old girl will now be charged as an adult, though her name hasn't yet been released. Vivian was held without bond in the Fulton County Jail. The 16 - 17 month old baby was turned over to the girl's relatives. Zeitz -- known to his online buddies as Phobos -- was a well-respected gamer whose teammates have rallied to support his family with a GoFundMe page to cover his funeral costs. The GoFunded page is here:http://www.gofundme.com/Phobos Tech Support Pits From: Healy Re: Pictures from camera directly to computer Dear Webby A friend reamed me out for trasnferring pictures straight from the camera to the computer, and claimed you had said to never do that. Unfortunately she could not remember why not? Does that affect the picture quality? Healy Dear Healy It can drain your camera batteries very quickly. The USB port runs at 5 Volt, the camera at 6 Volt. So the camera tries to charge up the USB port, which is regulated and backed up by the power grid. The batteries have not got a chance, and especially if you do some sorting and deleting, you might drain the batteries to near flat. Theoretically there is supposed to be a diode in there preventing power from flowing in the wrong direction, but in too many cases, that diode either was missing or not strong enough. A chip reader costs less than a set of batteries and lets you use a chip as a remote hard drive for back-ups. With todays 8, 16, 32, or 64 GB chips, that little chip is a very nice back-up drive. The only drawback with them is their small size. Unless you always store them in an easy to remember place, they might be hard to find. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freeze Cooking Grease Before Discarding To dispose of grease, I freeze it. First, I let it cool slightly and then pour it into a small plastic container to freeze. When frozen, I give the container a twist and it pops out like an ice cube. I drop it into the bag of frozen food waste that I keep in the freezer until garbage collection day. By Litter Gitter [106] http://www. thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility. One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?" After a moment, her 5-year-old son replied quizzically, "Er.... Once?"
A church had a man in the choir who couldn't sing. Several people hinted to him that he could serve in other places, but he continued to come to the choir. The choir director became desperate and went to the pastor. "You've got to get that man out of the choir," he said. "If you don't, I'm going to resign. The choir members are going to quit too. Please do something." So the pastor went to the man and suggested, "Perhaps you should leave the choir." "Why should I get out of the choir?" he asked. "Well, five or six people have told me you can't sing." That's nothing," the man snorted. "Fifty people have told me that you can't preach!"

When cars had class!

Today in 
1394 In France, Charles VI published an ordinance that 
 expelled all Jews from France. 
1778 The United States signed its first treaty with a 
 Native American tribe, the Delaware Nation. 
1787 The Constitution of the United States of America was 
 signed by delegates at the Constitutional Convention. 
1862 The Battle of Antietam took place during the American 
 Civil War. More than 23,000 men were killed, wounded, or 
 missing. The Rebel advance was ended with heavy losses 
 to both armies. 
1872 Phillip W. Pratt patented a version of the sprinkler 
 system. 
1911 The first transcontinental airplane flight started. It 
 took C.P. Rogers 82 hours to fly from New York City to Pasadena, CA. 
1930 Construction on Boulder Dam, later renamed Hoover Dam, 
 began in Black Canyon, near Las Vegas, NV. 
1932 Sir Malcolm Campbell set a speed record when he reached 
 276.27 mph over a half mile. 
1937 At Mount Rushmore, Abraham Lincoln's face was dedicated. 
1939 The Soviet Union invaded Poland. Germany had invaded 
 Poland on September 1. 
1944 Operation "Market Garden" was launched by Allied 
 paratroopers during World War II. The landing point was 
 behind German lines in the Netherlands. 
1966 "Mission Impossible" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1972 "M*A*S*H" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1976 NASA unveiled the space shuttle Enterprise in Palmdale, CA. 
1983 Vanessa Williams, as Miss New York, became the first black 
 woman to be crowned Miss America. 
1984 9,706 immigrants became naturalized citizens when they 
 were sworn in by U.S. Vice-President George Bush in Miami. 
 It was the largest group to become U.S. citizens. 
1988 Lt. Gen. Prosper Avril declared himself president of 
 Haiti after President Henri Hamphy was ousted. 
1992 Lawrence Walsh called a halt to his probe of the Iran-
 Contra scandal. The investigation had lasted 5 1/2 years. 
1995 Hong Kong held its last legislative election before 
 being taken over by China in 1997. 
1997 Northern Ireland's main Protestant party joined in 
 peace talks. It was the first time that all of the major 
 players had come together. 
1998 The United States government offered a reward for the 
 capture of Haroun Fazil for his role in the bombing of
 US embassies in Kenya on August 7, 1998. 
1998 The U.S. announced a plan that would compensate victims 
 in the Kenya and Tanzania U.S. Embassy bombings on 
 August 7, 1998. 
2014  smiled.
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