Good Morning, ,
Today is `Thursday, September 21

Have Fun!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida couple arrested for stealing 
downed power lines
 Bonehead
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Today, Sept 21 in
1792 The French National Convention voted to abolish the
monarchy. That really annoyed and worried England.
See More of what happened on this
day in history.
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Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
--- Scott Adams (1957 - ) 
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A man is struck by a bus on a busy New York City street.
He lies on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers
around.
"A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps.

A policeman checks the crowd, but there's no priest, no
minister, no man of God of any kind.

"A priest, please," the injured man says again. Then out
of the crowd steps a wrinkled and wizened Jewish man of
advanced years.
"Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not
even a Catholic. But for 50 years now I've lived behind
St. Mary's Catholic Church on Third Avenue, and every
night I've listened to the Catholic rites. Maybe I can be
of some comfort to this man."

The policeman agrees and brings the old man over to
where the man lies. The old man kneels down on the
sidewalk, leans over the injured victim and intones in a
solemn sing-song voice: "Under the B - 4.
Under the I - 19.
Under the N - 38.
Under the G - 54.
Under the O - 72.
Bingo!"
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Back in the days when Roman galleys plied the Mediterranean,
a crew of oarsmen was sweating and straining to propel the
ship through high seas when the first mate appeared.
"I've got good news and bad news," he says.
"The good news is we've spotted an island, so the plan is
to stop, drink rum, hunt a couple of wild boars, have a
feast and relax with the native girls."

The sailors all cheer in happiness, all but one, who asks,
"And what is the bad news?"
"Well," the first mate replies, "tomorrow, the captain
wants to go water skiing."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by

Andrea Foster, 45,
Charles Mahoy, 41, 
Altamonte Springs,
Florida

Florida couple arrested for stealing 
downed power lines

A Florida man and woman were arrested for stealing downed
power lines after Hurricane Irma, according to officials.

Deputies were called to an Altamonte Springs neighborhood
Sept. 16 after a neighbor said two people were cutting
downed power lines on his property.

Deputies said the power lines were down after a pole snapped
in half during Hurricane Irma.

The power was out and the neighborhood was dark, deputies
said.

Deputies found $5,000 worth of power lines cut up in the
back of a truck.

They questioned Charles Mahoy, 41, and Andrea Foster, 45,
and found methamphetamine and marijuana in the truck,
deputies said.

Mahoy and Foster were arrested on suspicion of larceny
during a state of emergency, criminal mischief and drug
possession.

_________________________________

Tech Support Pits
From: Robert
Re: Large and small HTML tags
Dear Webby,
As I was snooping in the source code of your pages to try
and learn some tricks, I noticed that you start tags with
capital letters and close them with small letters.
For example, you start a bold section with <.B> and
end it with <./b>
Is that the secret for your pages loading so fast, even
though you use a lot of color and graphics?
Robert

Dear Robert
That trick does not affect the speed. A good server takes
care of that.

That trick is just an old habit from the good old days when
web pages were writen by hand with a plain text editor,
and chiseled onto stone tablets.

With a plain text editor it can and does happen, that you
are typing too fast, and miss a bracket, or forget to close
a tag. Using Caps for opening and small letters for closing,
makes it a bit easier to find mistakes. That's all.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




A guy is bragging to a friend about his new hearing aid.
"Yeah, it's a beaut," he says. "Top of the line. Deluxe
model. Cost me $4,000 bucks."

"What kind is it?" his friend asks politely.

"Twelve-thirty."



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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Shelling Walnuts
If you want to shell walnuts but keep the nut intact, soak
the walnuts in saltwater over night before shelling them.
Then gently crack the nuts.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com


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elderly couple can't figure how to take a picture

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An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final
exam after an entire semester dealing with a broad array of
topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the
professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and
wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this
semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in
furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one
hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One
member of the class however, was up and finished in less
than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the
group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had
barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two
words:
"What chair?"
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The teenage girl who could overpower grown men.

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From Dean:
This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day
two years ago that I lost my wife and her mother. 
I'll never forget that game of cards.



Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes
and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you
subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

____________________________________________________

From June
You really make my day sunnier.
thank you.
June

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Today, Sept 21, in 
1792 The French National Convention voted to abolish the
monarchy. That really annoyed and worried England.

1784 "The Pennsylvania Packet and Daily Advertiser" was
published for the first time in Philadelphia. It was the
first daily paper in America. 

1893 Frank Duryea took what is believed to be the first
gasoline- powered automobile for a test drive. The
"horseless carriage" was designed by Frank and Charles
Duryea. 

1897 The New York Sun ran the "Yes, Virginia, there is a
Santa Claus" editorial. It was in response to a letter from
8-year-old Virginia O'Hanlon. 

1931 Britain went off the gold standard. 

1931 Japanese forces began occupying China's northeast
territory of Manchuria. 

1937 J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit" was first published. 

1948 Milton Berle debuted as the host of "The Texaco Star
Theater" on NBC-TV. The show later became "The Milton Berle
Show." Berle was the regular host until 1967. 

1949 Communist leaders proclaimed The People's Republic of
China. 

1957 "Perry Mason", the television series, made its debut on
CBS-TV. The show was on for 9 years. 

1961 Antonio Abertondo swam the English Channel (in both
directions) in 24 hours and 25 minutes. 

1964 Malta gained independence from Britain. 

1966 The Soviet probe Zond 5 returned to Earth. The
spacecraft completed the first unmanned round-trip flight to
the moon. 

1973 Henry Kissinger was confirmed by the U.S. Senate to
become 56th Secretary of State. He was the first naturalized
citizen to hold the office of Secretary of State. 

1981 The U.S. Senate confirmed Sandra Day O'Connor to be the
first female justice on the U.S. Supreme Court. 

1981 Belize gained full independence from Great Britain. 

1982 National Football League (NFL) players began a 57-day
strike. It was their first regular-season walkout. 

1982 Amin Gemayel was elected president of Lebanon. He was
the brother of Bashir Gemayel who was the president-elect
when he was assassinated. 

1984 General Motors and the United Auto Workers union
reached an agreement that would end the previous six days of
spot strikes. 

1985 North and South Korea opened their borders for their
family reunion program. 

1993 Russian President Boris N. Yeltsin announced that he
was ousting the Communist-dominated Congress. The action was
effectively seizing all state power. 

1996 The board of all-male Virginia Military Institute voted
to admit women. 

1996 John F. Kennedy Jr. married Carolyn Bessette in a
secret ceremony on Cumberland Island, GA. 

2017  smiled.
 
 

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Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
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