Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
Again voted Best Newsletter, now 14 years in a row!
Dear Webby's Humor Letter, daily since 1994
Clean humor and tech tips, updated daily! The Dear Webby Humor Letter is still the best Humor Newsletter
and Joke List and is available in regular HTML and also in large font HTML for vision challenged readers.
  If you are not getting your subscription, click here    
Return to Webby homepage Coached Hosting | Software | Contacts | Privacy Policy | About | DearWebby on FaceBook | You have a friend @Webby!
High traffic web space on reliable Linux servers with the fastest connectivity.


Subscribe   |   Give a Gift Subscription   |   Unsub   |   Large Font   |   Write DearWebby@webby.com   


Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, May 22

OK, so now I am officially an ornery old goat.
I got about 300 birthday wishes by email and FB messages,
and even got some pictures of cupcakes. 
Not a penny from PayPal. 
Rather dismal 70th birthday. 
Is that a hint that maybe it is time to retire?

_____________________________________________________

Today, May 22 in
1972 The island Ceylon adopted a new constitution 
and became the republic of Sri Lanka.
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award: Drunk Man Rode A Lawn Mower Into Cop Car ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness. --- Cullen Hightower Adventure is just bad planning. --- Roald Amundsen (1872 - 1928) Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." --- Douglas Adams If you want to cut down on the number of relatives who are hanging around, borrow money from the rich ones and lend money to the ones who are poor. You will never see any of them again. --- Socratex _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ During a friendly argument, my husband asked me why I married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," I teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, I requested an explanation. "People get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid." ______________________________________________________` _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gary Wayne Anderson, 68, Haines City, Floriduh Drunk Man Rode A Lawn Mower Into Cop Car
Police arrested Gary Wayne Anderson, 68, for a DUI charge after he crashed his lawn mower into a Haines City police vehicle. Anderson's driver's license has been suspended since 1978. He has two prior DUI convictions. Anderson failed the field sobriety test and was taken to the Haines City Police Department. At the department, Anderson told officers he had been poisoned by police and demanded to be taken to a hospital, the HCPD said. At Heart of Florida Regional Medical Center, his blood-alcohol level was .241 more than three times the legal limit of 0.08%, according to Mike Ferguson, a spokesman for the HCPD. Cocaine was also found in Anderson's system, police reported. The crash caused minor damage to the rear bumper of the police car. According to Chief Elensky of the Haines City, Police Department, It's never a good idea to get behind the wheel drunk, even if that wheel is to a Craftsman, Massey Ferguson or John Deere.
From: Jim Re: myMemorizer Dear Webby I enjoy starting every day with your email and thank Martin (RIP) for recommending it. Check out mymemorizer.com and consider recommending it. Like so many people, I was forgetting appointments etc and putting them on the computer didn't help as I'd forget to look daily. Jim Dear Jim I have recommended myMemorizer a few times. MyMemorizer is like gmail - server based, and it's neatest feature is that it will send you up to 4 emails reminding you of appointments, birthdays, anniversaries etc. The emails can be sent on the day of the event, one day before, two days before, one week before or whatever you select AND, the event can repeat annually so you can put in birthdays and anniversaries once and forget them. It will remember them for you. You can even get it to send reminders via SMS text, at times you specify, like the emails. Since it is server based, you also can access it from any computer with internet access using your id and pw. It is free at https://mymemorizer.com/ Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A group of Montana high schooler students played a prank: they let three goats loose in the school building. But before they let them go, they painted numbers on the sides of the goats: 1, 2 and 4. The best part of the prank was when, after they had rounded up the three goats, the school administrators spent the rest of the day looking for goat #3. ------------------- We did that with 3 cows in the 60s after we had learned that cows can walk UP stairs, but not down. They had to be carried down.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left. Later, the wife's roommate commented: "Your pastor is sure friendlier than mine." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Back To School Routine Start getting your back to school routine started. Have your kids wake up and go sleep at the same time they will the week before school starts. Also serve dinner at the same time you will when school starts. It will make the transition much easier for them and for you. thriftyfun.Com ____________________________________________________
I've never had "scuppernong wine" but I've had lots of wild muscadine jelly.
___________________________________________________ Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby. One preacher claimed, "Kneeling is definitely best." "No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven." "You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor." The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas," he interrupted, "the best prayin' I ever did was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole in a thunderstorm." ___________________________________________________ The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone called 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint. "It was enough to make anybody faint," he said. "My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Laws of the Universe 1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. 2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. 5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. 6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time). 7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. 8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. ___________________________________________________

Today May 22 in
1246 Henry Raspe was elected anti-king by the Rhenish prelates in
France. 

1455 King Henry VI was taken prisoner by the Yorkists at the
Battle of St. Albans, during the War of the Roses. 

1570 Abraham Ortelius published the first modern atlas in
Belgium. 

1761 In Philadelphia, the first life insurance policy was issued
in the U.S. 

1819 The steamship Savannah became the first to cross the
Atlantic Ocean. 

1841 Henry Kennedy received a patent for the first reclining
chair. 

1849 Abraham Lincoln received a patent for the floating dry dock.

1868 Near Marshfield, IN, The "Great Train Robbery" took place.
The robbery was worth $96,000 in cash, gold and bonds to the
seven members of the Reno gang. 

1872 The Amnesty Act restored civil rights to Southerners. 

1882 The U.S. formally recognized Korea. 

1891 The first public motion picture was given in Thomas Edison's
lab. 

1892 Dr. Washington Sheffield invented the toothpaste tube. 

1900 The Associated Press was incorporated as a non-profit news
cooperative in New York. 

1900 A. DeVilbiss, Jr. patented his pendulum-type computing
scale. 

1900 Edwin S. Votey received a patent for the pianola (a
pneumatic piano player). It could be attached to any piano. 

1906 The Wright brothers received a patent their flying machine. 

1939 Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini signed a military alliance
between Germany and Italy known as the "Pact of Steel." 

1947 The Truman Doctrine was enacted by the U.S. Congress to
appropriate military and economic aid for Turkey and Greece. 

1955 A scheduled dance to be headlined by Fats Domino was
canceled by police in Bridgeport, Connecticut because "rock and
roll dances might be featured." 

1969 A lunar module of Apollo 10 flew within nine miles of the
moon's surface. The event was a rehearsal for the first lunar
landing. 

1972 U.S. President Nixon became the first U.S. president to
visit Russia. He met with Soviet leader Leonid Brezhnev. 

1972 The island Ceylon adopted a new constitution and became the
republic of Sri Lanka. 

1986 Sylvester Stallone agreed to a 10-picture, six-year deal
with United Artists. He signed for a reported $15 million for
each film. 

1990 In the Middle East, North and South Yemen merged to become a
single state known as the Republic of Yemen. 

1990 Microsoft released Windows 3.0. 

1997 Kelly Flinn, the U.S. Air Force's first female bomber pilot
certified for combat, accepted a general discharge. She thereby
avoided court-martial on charges of adultery, lying and
disobeying an order. 

1998 New information came to light about the June 1996 bombing
that killed 19 American airmen. The information indicated that
Saudi citizens had been responsible and not Iranians as once
believed. 

1998 Voters in Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland
turned out to cast ballots giving approval to a Northern Ireland
peace accord. 

2002 Chandra Levy's remains were found in Washington, DC's Rock
Creek Park. She was last seen on April 30, 2001. California
Congressman Gary Condit was questioned in the case due to his
relationship with Levy. 

2002 In Birmingham, AL, a jury convicted former Ku Klux Klansman
Bobby Frank Cherry of murder in the 1963 church bombing that
killed four girls. 

2003 At the Colonial in Fort Worth, TX, Annika Sorenstam became
the first woman to play on the PGA tour in 58 years. She ended
the day at 1-over par. 

2012 In Japan, the Tokyo Skytree tower opened. 

2019  smiled.
Go to TOP

If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
Please give a friend a subscription to the Humor Letter

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!

The Archive is in the Dear Webby Humor Letter Blog.ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name, or at least
your favorite nickname, please tell me. I can correct that in two
seconds and greet you properly from then on.

If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't have time to
subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me. I will gladly enter them
for you and send them a confirmation request.

To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY
or write to humor@webby.com


If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter,
please unsubscribe by clicking the link below:
You are currently subscribed with this address:

Unsubscribe from the regular HTML version:
UNSUBSCRIBE from the regular version

Unsubscribe from the LARGE FONT HTML version
UNSUBSCRIBE from the Large Font version

      |    DearWebby on FaceBook
Search the web for:
  Recommended Resources  
Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download
Find a human
Bypass voice menus



Web Tools

handy program downloads


SPAM CONTROL made Easy!
Click here for a FREE
30 day trial

This is the Mail Washer that I use and have
used for over 10 years. I have tested many
others, but Mail Washer is still
The Best
spam control

Crap Cleaner Safely get rid of
tons of useless crap left over from
old, obsolete updates, temp files, lost
file fragments, etc.
STILL FREE


Babelfish Translator
Converter
Urban Legends
Truth or Hoax?
Check before believing chain letters


Great tool for getting rid of
spy-ware and mal-ware. Still FREE



This Undeleter will easily and securely recover deleted files from hard drives, flash drives, USB external drives, Zip drives, Firewire drives, digital camera cards, and more. This powerful recovery software can recover deleted files from most data loss scenarios.
Is your data worth recovery?

SmartFix The ONLY Registry Fixer, that I recommend!

All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price!


Roboform, still the best password manager.
Still FREE
  Highly recommended by DearWebby
FREE, no fuss download!

Domain Name registration:
Discuss your needs first, don't just register a name, that might not be good for you! Ask DearWebby first. That will save you a lot of money!


Software for your own postcard  site
 YOUR OWN
Postcard Site
!
You too can easily have a postcard site for business or fun.


If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Cumuli Ezine Finder:

Etiquette To Get Read
Ebook with power tips
for effective writing,
by DearWebby


Click here to order YOUR ad  to be shown here

Ads are $50 per month for subscribers only.
$60 per month for anybody else.


Find newsletters



Dear Bubba
All is forgiven. I still love you. Please come back!
Ps. Congratulations on your lottery win!
Your Betty-Sue



That could be YOUR ad for $50 per week.
Subscribers only!
Click here to order YOUR ad  to be shown here

Nudist Colony of Alberta
Closed for the season

Space Weather
Solar storms, Auroras

Thesaurus

NASA Multimedia Gallery
Sky Map: the interactive planetarium of the Web

Sky Watch: Calendar of celestial events

Weather Underground
Maps and Satellite

, Please Feed
Dear Webby!


Affordable web space
effective privacy policy Privacy Policy

Unique visitors since 1/1/11
free counters



Have FUN
Dear Webby
CEO of Webby, Inc
DearWebby @ webby.com
Box 646
Black Diamond, AB T0L 0H0
Canada

Subscribe   |  Give a Gift Subscription   |  Unsubscribe  | Click here for Large Print
Go to TOP
  342596     Check PageRank