Dear Webby's Humor Letter

Dear Webby's Humor Letter
widely read, forwarded, copied and imitated daily since 1994
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Good Morning, !
>Today is Saturdayday, February 4
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the
troops!




   
 
 


1411 If  you  like  my
work,

Please  donate a dollar, 
 or two, if you can afford
it!

Please, help me stay online!
    

___________________________________________________
History: on this  day,  February 3, in
1783, Spain recognized the independence of the United
States.
____________________________________________________   
Bonehead Awards: 
Chickenshit "male" arrested for sexually assaulting woman
who was jogging, Peoria Police say

__________________________________________________
Q
Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in
the eye of the beholder.
--- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)

We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that
what we learned the day before was wrong.
--- Bill Vaughan
________________________________________________

Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on
display at the department store.
"Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked.
"Yeah, my mom and dad have one," the other replied.
"What's it for?" asked the first boy.
"I don't know," the second boy answered.
"But if grown-ups stand on it, don't go near them for ten
minutes.
That thing makes them mad."
__________________________________________________



__________________________________________________  

Reported by Rock
An  International Bonehead Award has been
earned by

Steven Ryan Michael,
27
Peoria,
Arizona,
USA

Chickenshit "male" arrested for sexually assaulting woman
who was jogging, Peoria Police say

A Phoenix man was arrested after police say he sexually
assaulted a woman who was jogging on a Peoria trail.

On Jan. 28, 27-year-old Steven Ryan Michael reportedly
came up behind a woman jogging on Skunk Creek Trail near
75th Avenue and Bell Road and threw her to the ground.

He "got on top of her and sexually abused her. The victim
aggressively fought Steven, and was able to get away to
call 911," police said.

Court documents say while Michael was on top of the woman,
she punched him, but then he grabbed her chest. As she
screamed for help and told him to stop, she continued to
fight back and kick him in the groin – which is when he
got off of her, and she ran away.

The woman didn't have her phone on her, so she ran home to
tell her husband, and he called 911.

Michael was found near where the alleged incident happened
and was arrested after he reportedly ran from officers at
first.

Police say once they took him into custody, his story
didn't add up. First, he told officers he took a bus from
Phoenix to the area to go hiking but wasn't wearing hiking
clothes and wasn't near a hiking trail. Then he told
officers he was waiting for Arrowhead Towne Center to
open.

He was booked into jail on suspicion of several felony
counts, including, sexual abuse, attempted sexual assault,
aggravated assault and kidnapping.
__________________________________________________________



© Jeanne Schmidt
__________________________________________________

If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it!
____________________________________________________

The social studies teacher had just finished a unit on war
and peace. "How many of you," he asked, "would say you're
opposed to war?"

Not surprisingly, all hands went up.

The teacher asked, "who'll give us the reason for being
opposed to war?"

A large, bored-looking boy in the back of the room raised
his hand.

"Johnny?" The teacher said.
"I hate war," Johnny said, "because wars make history, and
then some poor, innocent kid has to memorize all about
it."

-------------
That was me. And a second after the exam, I dumped it all.

____________________________________________________



©

___________________________________________________  

"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Alan told his
friend Don.
"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an
affair?" Don suggested.

"But what if my wife finds out?"

"Heck, these are the '2K's, Alan. Go ahead and tell her
about it!"

So Alan went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will
bring us closer together."

"Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that six times
already. It never worked."

__________________________________________________
If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it!
_____________________________________________________


Good Morning, Helmut-End-Of-List!
Today is Friday, June 25
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the
troops!


___________________________________________________
If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it!
___________________________________________________

Stolen ambulance crashes in Visalia

___________________________________________________
Today, June 25 in
1941 Finland declared war on the Soviet Union, and then
asked
Germany to help them. They chnaged sides and kicked the
Germans
out in late spring 1945, when it had become obvious, that
the
allies would win.
____________________________________________________
A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never
be
accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he
hears
into something he can understand.
--- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
____________________________________________________

Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on
display at the department store.
"Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked.
"Yeah, my mom and dad have one," the other replied.
"What's it for?" asked the first boy.
"I don't know," the second boy answered.
"But if grown-ups stand on it, don't go near them for ten
minutes.
That thing makes them mad."

____________________________________________________


© Jeanne Schmidt
____________________________________________________

The social studies teacher had just finished a unit on war
and
peace. "How many of you," he asked, "would say you're
opposed
to war?" Not surprisingly, all hands went up.
The teacher asked, "who'll give us the reason for being
opposed
to war?"
A large, bored-looking boy in the back of the room raised
his
hand.
"Johnny?" The teacher said.
"I hate war," Johnny said, "because wars make history, and
then
some poor, innocent kid has to memorize all about it."

-------------
That was me. And a second after the exam, I dumped it all.

____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by

Mariah Chaffin,
38,
Visalia,
California,
USA

Stolen ambulance crashes in Visalia

The Visalia Police Department responded to a call around
3:38
p.m. on Monday near the 700 block of E. Noble to assist
medical
professionals.

According to police, Mariah Chaffin, 38, drove off in an
ambulance that was left running.

Police say they were able to catch up with Chaffin, who
was
driving the stolen ambulance with both emergency lights
and
sirens on.

They caught up with her in downtown Visalia near Acequia
and
Locust, where she later crashed into another ambulance
that was
carrying a patient. She also crashed into a police car.

Chaffin was taken into custody and later to the hospital.
A
Visalia Police Officer was also taken to the hospital for
injuries received during the collision with the stolen
ambulance.

Police say Chaffin will be booked for assault with a
deadly
weapon, resisting arrest, and possession of a stolen
vehicle
once released from the hospital.

----------------------------------------------------------
----------------------
Dearwebby's Tech Support Pits
from: Bill (The other one)
RE: W-11
Dear Webby
What's this about W-11 coming out from Microsoft?
Did we stop bitching about the klutzy W-10 ?
Bill (The other one)

Dear Bill (The other one)
Keep in mind that Microsoft owns significant portions of
DELL
and all the Chinese computer manufacturers.
W-11 will initially be cuckood into new machines only,
and eventually, once there is a wide enough user base to
provide good enough support, by download on demand.

W-11 includes a host of cosmetic upgrades, such as a new
Start
button, a revamped task bar and sounds, woohoo!
Apparently some guy in California had complained about the
racist look of the START button.

W-11 will make it easier for 3rd party programmers to
write
apps, which will make great profits for Malware fighters.

Some of the annoyances in W-10 will apparently be fixed,
and just to keep you bitching, everything will be either
shuffled around or hidden.

It is not known yet, if W-11 requires new hardware, since
apparently you can downgrade W-10 to W-11 with a download.
Whether that slows W10 down some more is not known yet.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
----------------------------------------------------------
----------------------
"The thrill is gone from my marriage," Alan told his
friend
Don.
"Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an
affair?"
Don suggested.

"But what if my wife finds out?"

"Heck, these are the '2K's, Alan. Go ahead and tell her
about
it!"

So Alan went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will
bring
us closer together."

"Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that six times
already
it never worked."

 ---------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please
donate what you can! If you like my work,Please donate a
dollar, or two, if you can afford it!Please, help me stay
online!
_____________________________________________

- If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.

- A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects
all duly constipated authorities.

- Syntax is all the money collected at the church from
sinners.

- In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved
to
Utah.

- A census taker is man who goes from house to house
increasing the population.
___________________________________________________
If you can spare a coin, PLEASE hit PayPal with it!
___________________________________________________



____________________________________________________

DearWebby's Tech Support Pits

from: Bill (The other one)
RE: W-11
Dear Webby
What's this about W-11 coming out from Microsoft?
Did we stop bitching about the klutzy W-10 ?
Bill (The other one)

Dear Bill (The other one)
Keep in mind that Microsoft owns significant portions of
DELL
and all the Chinese computer manufacturers.
W-11 will initially be cuckood into new machines only,
and eventually, once there is a wide enough user base to
provide good enough support, by download on demand.

W-11 includes a host of cosmetic upgrades, such as a new
Start
button, a revamped task bar and sounds, woohoo!
Apparently some guy in California had complained about the
racist look of the START button.

W-11 will make it easier for 3rd party programmers to
write
apps, which will make great profits for Malware fighters.

Some of the annoyances in W-10 will apparently be fixed,
and just to keep you bitching, everything will be either
shuffled around or hidden.

It is not known yet, if W-11 requires new hardware, since
apparently you can downgrade W-10 to W-11 with a download.
Whether that slows W10 down some more is not known yet.

Have FUN!
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________

- If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise.

- A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects
all duly constipated authorities.

- Syntax is all the money collected at the church from
sinners.

- In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved
to
Utah.

- A census taker is man who goes from house to house
increasing the population.
 ____________________________________________________
Today, February 3 in

1488, The Portuguese navigator Bartholomeu Diaz landed at
Mossal Bay in the Cape, the first European known to have
landed on the southern extremity of Africa.

1690, The first paper money in America was issued by the
Massachusetts colony. The currency was used to pay
soldiers that were fighting in the war against Quebec.

1783, Spain recognized the independence of the United
States.

1809, The territory of Illinois was created.

1815, The world's first commercial cheese factory was
established in Switzerland.

1862, Thomas Edison printed the "Weekly Herald" and
distributed it to train passengers traveling between Port
Huron and Detroit, MI. It was the first time a newspaper
had been printed on a train.

1869, Edwin Booth opened his new theatre in New York City.
The first production was "Romeo and Juliet".

1874, A patent was issued to Samuel W. Francis for the
spork.

1900, In Frankfort, KY, gubernatorial candidate William
Goebels died from an assasin's bullet wounds. On August
18, 1900, Ex-Sec. of State Caleb Powers was found guilt of
conspiracy to murder Gov. Goebels.

1913, The 16th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was
ratified. It authorized the power to impose and collect
income tax.

1916, In Ottawa, Canada's original parliament buildings
burned down.

1917, The U.S. broke off diplomatic relations with
Germany, which had announced a policy of unrestricted
submarine warfare.

1918, The Twin Peaks Tunnel began service. It is the
longest streetcar tunnel in the world at 11,920 feet.

1927, The Federal Radio Commission was created when U.S.
President Calvin Coolidge signed a bill.

1941, In Vichy, France, the Nazis used force to restore
Pierre Laval to office.

1945, Russia agreed to enter World War II against Japan.

1946, The first issue of "Holiday" magazine appeared.

1947, Percival Prattisbecame the first black news
correspondent admitted to the House and Senate press
gallery in Washington, DC. He worked for "Our World" in
New York City.

1951, Dick Button won the U.S. figure skating title for
the sixth time.

1951, The Tennessee Williams play, "The Rose Tattoo",
opened on Broadway in New York.

1966, The first rocket-assisted controlled landing on the
Moon was made by the Soviet space vehicle Luna IX.

1969, At the Palestinian National Congress in Cairo,
Yasser Arafat was appointed leader of the PLO.

1972, The first Winter Olympics in Asia were held at
Sapporo, Japan.

1984, Challenger 4 was launched as the tenth space shuttle
mission.

1989, South African politician P.W. Botha unwillingly
resigned both party leadership and the presidency after
suffering a stroke.

1998, Texas executed Karla Faye Tucker. She was the first
woman executed in the U.S. since 1984.

1998, In Italy, a U.S. Military plane hit a cable causing
the death of 20 skiers on a lift.

2009, Eric Holder was sworn in as attorney general. He was
the first African-American to hold the post.

2010, The Alberto Giacometti sculpture L'Homme qui marche
sold for $103.7 million.

2015, The British House of Commons voted to approve
letting scientist create babies from the DNA of three
people.

2022  smiled.
 

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	Hosting \| Software \| Contacts	You have a friend @Webby!
High traffic web space on reliable SUN UNIX servers with the fastest connectivity.