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Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, August 31

Thanks Joseph!

The fires in Washington seem to have gone past the poplar
and other leafy forests and are back in spruce and pine.
The smoke smell is much nicer, more like camp fire smoke.
It's also not as thick. Visibility has improved to five 
miles, sometimes even more. 

Have FUN!
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______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Georgia man busted after his dog tests positive for meth. Details at Boneheads Today in 1920 John Lloyd Wright was issued a patent for "Toy-Cabin Construction," which are known as Lincoln Logs. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember. --- Eugene McCarthy (1916 - 2005) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A boss in California, to four of his employees: "I'm really sorry, but I'm going to have to let at least one of you go and I need a usable solution immediately." Female Employee: "I'm a woman." Black Employee: "I'm a protected minority." Oldest Employee: "Fire me, buster, and I'll hit you with an age discrimination suit so fast it'll make your head spin." ...To which they all turn to look at the helpless young, white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds: "I think I might be gay." So, without discriminating against any politically protected group, he fired all four of them for "failure to perform assigned duties, like coming up with a usable solution". ______________________________________________________ A husband and wife were driving down a country lane on their way to visit some friends. They came to a big, muddy hole in the road and the car became bogged. After a few minutes of trying to get the car out by themselves, they saw a young farmer coming down the lane, driving some oxen before him. The farmer stopped when he saw the couple in trouble and offered to pull the car out of the mud for $50. The husband accepted and minutes later the car was free. The farmer turned to the husband and said, "You know, you're the tenth car I've helped out of the mud today." The husband looks around at the fields incredulously and asks the farmer, "When do you have time to plough your land? You must do it at night." "No," the young farmer replied seriously, "Night is when I put the water in the hole." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Cynthia for this picture: ______________________________________________________ It was little Harry's first visit to the country, and feeding the chickens fascinated him. Late one evening he caught his first glimpse of a peacock strutting in the yard, feathers spread beautifully in all its glory. Rushing indoors excitedly, Harry called out for his grandma: "Gramma, Gramma, come see! Come see!" he exclaimed. "One of your chickens is in bloom!" _________________________________________________
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Marty Allen Rogers, 47, Talmo, Georgia
Man Busted After His Dog Tests Positive For Meth A Georgia man is facing several criminal charges after his dog tested positive for methamphetamine, police report. According to cops, Marty Allen Rogers, 47, last week brought his terrier mix to an animal hospital for treatment. The dog, named “Little Guy,” was “extremely nervous and constantly paces and panting and restless,” veterinarian Kevin Chapman told investigators. Chapman told police that “Little Guy” subsequently “tested positive for Methamphetamine.” Investigators believe that the dog--which was turned over to an animal control officer-- ingested the drug at Rogers’s residence in Talmo, a town about 30 miles from Athens. Rogers, pictured above, was initially charged with cruelty to animals. But when cops went to his home to serve an arrest warrant, they discovered meth and a stolen motorcycle at the residence. As a result, he was hit with narcotics possession and theft by receiving stolen property counts. “Little Guy,” who has recovered from the meth exposure, is in an animal shelter and will soon be placed up for adoption. Rogers, who is not in jail, was arrested last year after he was pulled over for reckless driving. A search of the vehicle turned up meth and a handgun. Rogers was charged with possession of methamphetamine with intent to distribute, possession of a firearm during a crime, and reckless driving.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Verna Re: Can't open received pictures Dear Webby, I can open pictures sent to me by some people, but never from some others. I CAN open them by using the thumbnail browser in my graphics program, just not by clicking on them in the email. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to that. Can you please help? Verna Dear Verna Most likely the pictures, that you can't open by clicking on them, have a space in the file name. Many graphics programs refuse to open those. Just rename the pictures from the file explorer, so that they don't have holes in the file name. You could also tell the people, who name pictures with holes in the file name, to smarten up and name them properly. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Using Measuring Cups Sensibly I have a set of black, heavy plastic measuring cups. I'd like another set, but there's no name on them and I can't remember where I got them. I guess the next best thing is a set of red, heavy plastic measuring cups. My sister gave me a set. They're Betty Crocker and sold at Dollar tree for a dollar. Most anyone can have all the measuring cups they'd ever need. By likekinds [103] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Eric said his company sometimes abbreviates the shipping address of their customers to make them fit on the printed labels. However, the Assembly Of God Church aparently was not amused when the label on their box displayed, "Ass Of God Church". ___________________________________________________

Mark Kroos Plays Dueling Banjos From Deliverance by Himself
____________________________________________________ A Scotsman was visiting a friend in the mountains of Canada. The first morning in the cabin, he awoke and stood by the window admiring the scenery. Suddenly, he noticed a huge animal walk by. "Och, whut's thaaat?" he said. His Canadian friend looked out and said, "Oh, that's a moose." "Och! If thaaat's a moose, hoo big are your cats aroond here?" ____________________________________________________
People are awesome!

Today, Aug 31, in
1823 Ferdinand VII was restored to the throne of Spain when 
 invited French forces entered Cadiz. The event is known as 
 the Battle of Trocadero. 
1852 The first pre-stamped envelopes were created with 
 legislation of the U.S. Congress. 
1887 The kinetoscope was patented by Thomas Edison. The 
 device was used to produce moving pictures. 
1920 The first news program to be broadcast on radio was 
 aired. The station was 8MK in Detroit, MI. 
1920 John Lloyd Wright was issued a patent for 
 "Toy-Cabin Construction," which are known as Lincoln Logs.
1935 The act of exporting U.S. arms to belligerents was 
 prohibited by an act signed by U.S. President Roosevelt. 
1962 The Caribbean nations Tobago and Trinidad became 
 independent within the British Commonwealth. 
1964 California officially became the most populated 
 state in America. 
1980 Poland's Solidarity labor movement was born with an 
 agreement signed in Gdansk that ended a 17-day strike. 
1989 Great Britain's Princess Anne and Mark Phillips 
 announced that they were separating. The marriage was 
 16 years old. 
1990 East and West Germany signed a treaty that meant the 
 harmonizing of political and legal systems. 
1991 Uzbekistan and Kirghiziz declared their independence 
 from the Soviet Union. They were the 9th and 10th republics 
 to announce their plans to secede. 
1991 In a "Solidarity Day" protest hundreds of thousands of 
 union members marched in Washington, DC. 
1993 Russia withdrew its last soldiers from Lithuania. 
1994 A cease-fire was declared by the Irish Republican Army 
 after 25 years of bloodshed in Northern Ireland. 
1994 Russia officially ended its military presence in the former 
 East Germany and the Baltics after a half-century. 
1998 A ballistic missile was fired over Japan by North Korea. 
 The missile landed in stages in the waters around Japan. There 
 was no known target. 
2015  smiled.
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