Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, April 3
We got the server replaced, and I can send out
newsletters again.
Today I have to go to Calgary for injections into my eyeballs.
There will be nothing sent out April 3, 4, or 5.
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Today, April 3 in
1910 Alaska's Mt. McKinley, the highest mountain in North America was climbed.
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All science is either physics or stamp collecting.
[info][add][mail][note]Ernest Rutherford (1871 - 1937)
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Today's Bonehead Award:
Man who spat at police officers
while claiming to have coronavirus,
jailed
__________________________________________
At a flower stand: "Doghouse keys."
On an exterminator's van: "We make ants say 'uncle.'"
On a cash register penny cup: "If you fear change, leave it here."
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__________________________________________
77 year old Morris went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results. Dr. Cohen said, "Morris everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with yourself, and have a good relationship with God?"
Morris replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get up in the middle of the night, *poof*... the light goes on when I go to the bathroom and then *poof* the light goes off!"
"Wow," commented Dr. Cohen," That's incredible!" A little later in the day Dr. Cohen called Morris's wife. "Becky," he said, " Morris is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof* The light goes on in the bathroom and then *poof* the light goes off?"
Becky replied, "The darn fool!... He's peeing in the fridge again!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Tauruss Miller,
21,
Cobb County,
Georgia
Man who spat at police officers
while claiming to have coronavirus
jailed
A ‘despicable and disgraceful’ man who spat at police officers and claimed he had symptoms of coronavirus has been jailed for a year. Paul Leivers, 48, admitted two counts of assault on an emergency worker after being arrested in Mansfield on Thursday. Nottinghamshire Police said Leivers gobbed at custody officers. Sentencing him at Nottingham Magistrates’ Court, District Judge Leo Pyle said: ‘These are two distinct acts and it was appalling behaviour, these offences were deliberate and pre-mediated. ‘Emergency workers have a difficult job at the best of time, even more so at the minute and the court will not flinch to protect officers.’
Assistant Chief Constable Steve Cooper said: ‘This sentence sends out a very powerful and clear message that this behaviour will not be tolerated in any shape or form and especially not now in the current climate.
Assistant Chief Constable Steve Cooper said: ‘This sentence sends out a very powerful and clear message that this behaviour will not be tolerated in any shape or form and especially not now in the current climate.
Chief Constable Steve Cooper said: ‘This sentence sends out a very powerful and clear message that this behaviour will not be tolerated in any shape or form and especially not now in the current climate.
DeaWebby's Tech Support Pits
From: Adam
Re: Clean monitor
Dear Webby,
Dear
Have FUN!
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_____________________________________________
77 year old Morris went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results. Dr. Cohen said, "Morris everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with yourself, and have a good relationship with God?"
Morris replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get up in the middle of the night, *poof*... the light goes on when I go to the bathroom and then *poof* the light goes off!"
"Wow," commented Dr. Cohen," That's incredible!" A little later in the day Dr. Cohen called Morris's wife. "Becky," he said, " Morris is just fine. Physically he's great. But I had to call because I'm in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and *poof* The light goes on in the bathroom and then *poof* the light goes off?"
Becky replied, "The darn fool!... He's peeing in the fridge again!"
_____________________________________________
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up.
"Oh, we'll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship," the husband explained. "She was a communications major in college and I majored in theatre arts.
She communicates well and I act like I'm listening."
_____________________________________________
A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements:
- religion
- royalty
- sex
- mystery
The prize-winning essay read: "My God," said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"
____________________________________________
U.S. tourists in Israel, a man and his wife, were sitting outside a Bethlehem
souvenir shop, waiting for fellow tourists.
A salesman approached them carrying belts.
After an impassioned sales talk yielded no results, he asked where they were
from.
"America," the husband replied.
Looking at her dark hair and olive skin, the man responded. "She's not from the States."
"Yes I am." said the wife. He looked at her and asked.
"Is he your husband?"
"Yes." she replied.
Turning to the husband, he offered, "I'll give you 100 camels for her."
The husband looked stunned, and there was a long silence.
Finally he replied, "she's not for sale."
After the salesman left, the somewhat indignant wife asked her husband what took him so long to answer, to which the husband replied, "I was trying to figure out how to get 100 camels back home."
No sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
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Today April 3
1513 Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon landed in Florida. He had sighted the land the day before.
1829 James Carrington patented the coffee mill.
1860 The first Pony Express riders left St. Joseph, MO and Sacramento, CA. The trip across country took about 10 days. The Pony Express only lasted about a year and a half.
1865 Union forces occupy Confederate capital of Richmond, Virginia.
1866 Rudolph Eickemeyer and G. Osterheld patented a blocking and shaping machine for hats.
1882 The American outlaw Jesse James was shot in the back and killed by Robert Ford for a $5,000 reward. There was later controversy over whether it was actually Jesse James that had been killed.
1910 Alaska's Mt. McKinley, the highest mountain in North America was climbed.
1933 First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt informed newspaper reporters that beer would be served at the White House. This followed the March 22 legislation that legalized "3.2%" beer.
1936 Richard Bruno Hauptmann was executed for the kidnapping and death of the son of Charles and Anne Lindbergh.
1942 The Japanese began their all-out assault on the U.S. and Filipino troops at Bataan.
1946 Lt. General Masaharu Homma, the Japanese commander responsible for the Bataan Death March, was executed in the Philippines.
1948 U.S. President Harry Truman signed the Marshall Plan to revive war-torn Europe. It was $5 billion in US made goods for 16 countries.
1953 "TV Guide" was published for the first time.
1967 The U.S. State Department said that Hanoi might be brainwashing American prisoners.
1968 Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his "mountaintop" speech just 24 hours before he was assassinated.
1968 North Vietnam agreed to meet with U.S. representatives to set up preliminary peace talks.
1972 Charlie Chaplin returned to the U.S. after a twenty-year exile.
1979 Jane Byrne became the first female mayor in Chicago.
1983 It was reported that Vietnamese occupation forces had overrun a key insurgent base in western Cambodia.
1984 Sikh terrorists killed a member of the Indian Parliament in his home.
1984 Col. Lansana Konte became the new president of Guinea when the armed forces seized power after the death of Sekou Toure.
1985 The U.S. charged that Israel violated the Geneva Convention by deporting Shiite prisoners.
1986 The U.S. national debt hit $2 trillion.
1987 Riots disrupted mass during the Pope's visit to Santiago, Chili.
1993 The Norman Rockwell Museum opened in Stockbridge, MA.
1996 An Air Force jetliner carrying Commerce Secretary Ron Brown crashed in Croatia, killing all 35 people aboard.
1996 Unabomber suspect Theodore Kaczynski was arrested. He pled guilty in January 1998 to five Unabomber attacks in exchange for a life sentence without chance for parole.
2000 A U.S. federal judge ruled that Microsoft had violated U.S. antitrust laws by keeping "an oppressive thumb" on its competitors. Microsoft said that they would appeal the ruling.
2010 The first Apple iPad was released.
2020
, that's all for today.
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