Stuck Hoourglass 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, July 25.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Dianne corrected me on the ALL CAPS issue.
She recommended http://Stripmail.net
That is the same company that made the good ol Stripmail
for removing the >>> from multiple forwardws.

I have not tried their new version.

>From Michael
Hi DearWebby,
Though I agree with you that Jerry should push back at the 
original source, if that’s not an option, both Open Office 
and Microsoft Word can automatically convert whole sentences 
and even whole documents from all upper case to mixed case 
with just a few mouse clicks:

Open Office: Convert All Uppercase

Microsoft Word: Change Capitalization

In both cases what Jerry is after is called “Sentence case”.
Aloha,
-mkr

Thanks to both of you!
Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Californian, who robbed El Pollo Loco restaurant and returned for lunch Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2010 WikiLeaks leaked to the public more than 90,000 internal reports involving the U.S.-led War in Afghanistan from 2004-2010.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. --- Saint Augustine (354 AD - 430 AD) Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. --- Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971)
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A Kiwi was hoping to immigrate to Australia. Upon arriving in Australia, he was questioned by a customs officer, "What is your business in Australia?" "I wish to immigrate," was the Kiwi's reply. The customs officer then asked, "Do you have a conviction record?" Confused, the Kiwi then replied, "I didn't know you still needed one!"
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There was a university in New England where the students operated a "bank" of term papers and other homework assignments. There were papers to suit all needs. Since it would look odd if an undistinguished student suddenly handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for an A grade, B grade, and C grade. One student, who had spent the weekend on more "extra-curricular pursuits," went to the bank, and as his course was a standard one he took out a paper for a inconspicuous C. He then retyped it and handed the work in. In due course he received it back with the professor's comments. "I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always thought it was worth an A, and now I'm pleased to give it one!"
Thanks to Dianne for this picture Click on the picture for the movie World's tallest swing

Thanks to LittleMiss for this classic: Becky and Sally were doing some carpentry work on their house. Becky, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Sally figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Becky explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away." Sally got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Daniel Lee Warn, Daniel Lee Warn Robs El Pollo Loco Restaurant And Returns For Lunch A man suspected of burglarizing an El Pollo Loco in Costa Mesa, California, has been arrested after he returned to the restaurant for a meal a few hours after the robbery. Daniel Lee Warn, 28, was arrested Wednesday when he tried to order food at the restaurant, because employees recognized him from the security footage of the robbery. The restaurant was closed at the time of the break-in, but the surveillance video showed a man climbing through the drive-through window and ransacking the cash register in a failed attempt to find money. When Warn showed up to order lunch, he was wearing the same clothes as the person seen in the video: A green T-shirt and a hat emblazoned with a bright pink face, the Daily Pilot reports. The restaurant manager called police who arrested Warn on multiple counts of burglary, KTLA-TV reports. Police believe Warn is also responsible for three other burglaries in the same area between Tuesday and Wednesday. Warn, a transient, was sentenced to two years in prison last month, but was freed as part of a post-release community supervision program, according to UPI.com Tech Support Pits From: Jessica Re: Stuck Hourglass Dear Webby I need someone to tell me what I need to do to correct a computer problem. When I point mouse arrow at a website, then click, sometimes it will click onto the little 'hourglass' from the arrow & won't click back to arrow again. So, here I sit, waiting for it to make up it's mind to continue down the yellow brick road & some times it does but most times it won't! The only way I can continue on is to re-boot. It's becoming a pain in the patoot! It even does it when I start typing in the chatroom & after a couple of minutes, it goes back to normal. I have noticed it does it more frequently whenever there is something else going on behind the scenes - like various updates, etc. Is there some thing or some place I can click to try to correct this? Help! Help! Help! Dear Jessica From what I hear, that is quite common with AOL dial-up accounts. It is simply a matter of lack of connection speed. Sometimes you can gain a bit more speed by using the Task Manager (CTRL SHIFT ESC), Processes, to kill your browser and then restarting it, but for the long run, the only solution is to get a faster connection to the Internet. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Onion Snow from Frozen Onions When I cook, I love onion but not in large pieces or strips. None of the kids I know like them that way either. When the Vidalias (my favorite onion) are in season, I buy several. I peel, clean and wash them with a quick douse under HOT water. Then put them into plastic and freeze them whole. The hot water preserves the crunchiness when freezing. Ditto with lettuce to go in the fridge, it's an old trick my mom taught me. When I cook, I take one of my whole frozen onions out and get out my fine size grater. I hold the onion as long as I can and grate a pile of onion snow. It IS cold, so you may need to take breaks or use a silicone glove. Be sure to use a fine grater. I took the finished product here and made onion cakes. I added 1/4 cup flour, 1 Tbsp. cornmeal, 1 1/2 tsp. baking powder, 3 Tbsp. coconut milk and an egg. Mix all, let set 10 minutes, then fry like pancakes. I hope you get a chance to try this and find it helpful. The onion snow flavors the meal and no one complains about it. ("YUK! Onions!") The food goes down with relish and no complaints. By J'Marinde [2] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard." Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.
The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a HUGE amount of material on the midterm exam. Tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud as they realized how much material they had covered and were expected to recall. The following week, the professor tossed the graded papers on her desk and announced, "Class, after I left here last week, the Lord spoke to me. He said, 'Thanks, professor. I haven't heard from some of those people in years.

» Cacti

Today in 
0326 Constantine refused to carry out the traditional 
 pagan sacrifices.
1394 Charles VI of France issued a decree for the general 
 expulsion of Jews from France.
1564 Maximillian II became emperor of the Holy Roman Empire.
1587 Japanese strong-man Hideyoshi banned Christianity in 
 Japan and ordered all Christians to leave.
1593 France's King Henry IV converted from Protestantism 
 to Roman Catholicism.
1759 British forces defeated a French army at Fort Niagara 
 in Canada.
1799 Napoleon Bonaparte defeated the Ottomans at 
 Aboukir, Egypt.
1805 Aaron Burr visited New Orleans with plans to establish 
 a new country, with New Orleans as the capital city.
1845 China granted Belgium equal trading rights with 
 Britain, France and the United States.
1850 Gold was discovered in the Rogue River in OR.
1854 The paper collar was patented by Walter Hunt.
1861 The Crittenden Resolution, which called for the 
 American Civil War to be fought to preserve the Union 
 and not for slavery, was passed by the U.S. Congress.
1866 Ulysses S. Grant was named General of the Army. He 
 was the first American officer to hold the rank.
1871 Seth Wheeler patented perforated wrapping paper.
1907 Korea became a protectorate of Japan.
1909 French aviator Louis Bleriot flew across the English 
 Channel in a monoplane. He traveled from Calais to Dover 
 in 37 minutes. He was the first man to fly across the channel.
1914 Russia declared that it would act to protect Serbian 
 sovereignty.
1924 Greece announced the deportation of 50,000 Armenians.
1941 The U.S. government froze all Japanese and Chinese assets.
1943 Italian Fascist dictator Benito Mussolini was 
 overthrown in a coup.
1946 The U.S. detonated an atomic bomb at Bikini Atoll in the 
 Pacific. It was the first underwater test of the device.
1952 Puerto Rico became a self-governing commonwealth of the U.S.
1978 Louise Joy Brown, the first test-tube baby, was born 
 in Oldham, England. She had been conceived through in-vitro 
 fertilization.
1984 Soviet cosmonaut Svetlana Savitskaya became the first 
 woman to walk in space. She was aboard the orbiting space 
 station Salyut 7.
1994 Israel and Jordan formally ended the state of war that 
 had existed between them since 1948.
1999 Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France. He was only 
 the second American to win the race.
2010 WikiLeaks leaked to the public more than 90,000 internal 
 reports involving the U.S.-led War in Afghanistan 
 from 2004-2010. 
2014  smiled.


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Editing ALL CAPS text 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, July 24

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Woman who tried to shoplift vibrator by hiding device behind her child in stroller Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1987 Hulda Crooks, at 91 years of age, climbed Mt. Fuji. Hulda became the oldest person to climb Japan’s highest peak.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I improve on misquotation. --- Cary Grant (1904 - 1986) There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it. --- Mary Wilson Little
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I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in flying in small planes, I was nervous when we approached a landing strip in a snow covered area. The pilot descended to just a dozen feet, then gunned both engines, climbed, and circled back. While my heart pounded, the passenger beside me seemed calm. "I wonder why he didn't land," I said. "He was checking to see if the landing strip was plowed," the man said. As we made a second approach, I glanced out the window. "It looks plowed to me," I commented. "No," my seat mate said. "It hasn't been cleared for some time." "How can you tell?" I asked. "Because," the man informed me, "I'm the guy who drives the plow, and I have been in Hawaii for two weeks."
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Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house. Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake." "No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces without asking."
Thanks to Dianne for this picture Click on the picture for the large version Let's GIT!
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Thanks to Walter, the Stonecarver for reporting this: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Misty Ann Lee, 38, Spartanburg, SC Woman who tried to shoplift vibrator by hiding device behind her child in stroller A woman who allegedly tried to steal a vibrator from the “love section” of a Spencer’s gift shop in South Carolina was foiled when a store employee spotted her stashing the device behind her child, who was seated in a stroller, police report. Misty Ann Lee, 38, was nabbed Friday afternoon inside the WestGate Mall in Spartanburg, according to a police report. She was cited for shoplifting and booked into the county jail (from which she was released late Friday evening). A Spencer’s manager told cops that she saw Lee “select a vibrator from the love unit” and then move to the “t-shirt cube,” where she allegedly slid the item “behind a young child in the stroller.” Lee then departed the store, worker Dawn Hamilton told investigators. After Lee departed the business, she was stopped by Hamilton, who demanded the vibrator. “Ms. Hamilton stated Ms. Lee looked like she didn't know what she was talking about but eventually she retrieved the merchandise from the stroller,” according to a Spartanburg Police Department report. With vibrator in hand, Hamilton appeared content to let Lee skate. But when Lee subsequently sought to reenter Spencer’s, Hamilton decided to notify police. Lee, seen in the above mug shot, is free on a $2000 personal recognizance bond. The police report does not include the make, model, or retail price of the vibrator. Tech Support Pits From: Jerry Re: Caps Locked text Dear Webby I am editing (pro bono) a local service club monthly bulletin and occasionally get a script IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. I don't mind going through two or three paragraphs, but it will take forever to rewrite several pages -- not to mention how boring it is. If anyone knows a shortcut, I figure it is you. CAN YOU HELP? Thanx, Jerry Dear Jerry Just send it back to them and tell them that they are giving AOL a bad name, again. Tell them that there is more to life than slouching on the couch, a bottle of Southern Comfort in one hand, and poking a Caps-Locked keyboard with the typo finger of the other hand. Jerry, you are not doing them a favor by lowering your standards to theirs! Bring them up to YOURS! He's a poor teacher, who has never been called a meanie. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Auto Sun Shades on Your House Windows Use windshield sun shades on windows and skylights to keep sun out and your living space cooler. By Marilyn from Duryea, PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A Jewish woman's husband dies. He only had $30,000 to his name. After everything was done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that there is none of the $30,000 left. The friend asked, "How can that be?" The widow replied, "Well, the funeral cost me $6,500. And of course I made a donation to the shul ..that was $500, and I spent another $500 for food and drinks for the people when I was sitting shiva. The rest went for the memorial stone." Her friend said, "$22,500 for the memorial stone? My, how big is it?" The widow said, "Three carats."
Waiting in a long, slow-moving line for security clearance at the Edmonton International Airport in Canada, I was annoyed to hear a loud male voice behind me. "Excuse me, excuse me," said the man as he pushed his way to the front. "I want to make sure I get a good seat." I resolved not to let this line-jumper get ahead of me. When I felt a tap on my shoulder, I whirled around, prepared to give the man a tongue-lashing -- but found myself face to face with a grinning pilot.

» Beaches

Today in 
1847 Mormon leader Brigham Young and his followers arrived 
 in the valley of the Great Salt Lake in present-day Utah.
1847 Richard M. Hoe patented the rotary-type printing press.
1923 The Treaty of Lausanne, which settled the boundaries 
 of modern Turkey, was concluded in Switzerland.
1948 Soviet occupation forces in Germany blockaded West Berlin. 
 The U.S.-British airlift began the following day.
1969 The Apollo 11 astronauts splashed down safely in the 
 Pacific Ocean.
1974 The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled that President 
 Nixon had to turn over subpoenaed White House tape recordings 
 to the Watergate special prosecutor.
1978 Billy Martin was fired for the first of three times as 
 the manager of the New York Yankees baseball team.
1987 Hulda Crooks, at 91 years of age, climbed Mt. Fuji. 
 Hulda became the oldest person to climb Japan’s highest peak. 
2014  smiled.


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Pop-Up in the middle of movies 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, July 23

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a dope dealer, who fled into a Police Academy Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1984 Miss America, Vanessa Williams, turned in her crown after it had been discovered that nude photos of her had appeared in "Penthouse" magazine. She was the first to resign the title.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Of those who say nothing, few are silent. --- Thomas Neill Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. --- Kurt Herbert Alder All good things in moderation, including moderation. -- Socratex
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While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He though about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6.
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The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet deep. After the job was completed the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered. The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem. The boss snorted, "Honestly! The kind of help you get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!"
Thanks to Dianne for this picture Click on the picture for the large version Australia decided to dump their Carbon Tax, since it is obviously rather presumptious and silly to pretend that human efforts are in the same league as volcanoes and forest fires.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Walter, the Stonecarver for reporting this: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Roger Wayne Beasley Jr., 30, BILOXI, Miss. Dope dealer, who fled into a Police Academy A man who fled from a traffic stop on U.S. 90 unknowingly ran into a building where police academy training was in session. Roger Wayne Beasley Jr., 30, apparently was so focused on getting away that he didn't notice marked cars parked outside the Harrison County Law Enforcement Training Academy building on Leggett Drive, Police Chief John Miller said. An officer had recognized Beasley driving a vehicle Wednesday and knew he didn't have a license, Miller said. Beasley turned on to Chalmers Drive, jumped out of his vehicle and ran off, so an officer jumped out of his car and ran after him. "He got to the door and was about to go through," Miller said. He was outnumbered. Police arrested Beasley on charges of possession with intent to distribute crack cocaine, resisting arrest, no driver's license, careless driving, improper lane change, resisting arrest and failure to comply. Beasley was released from the Harrison County jail on bonds that total $51,670. Tech Support Pits From: Vi Re: Nuisance Pop-Up in movies Dear Webby Why do I get a small pop up in the middle of a video asking me to allow or deny someone to store information on my computer? It has no X to delete it and it stays right in the middle of the video Thanks for any help you can suggest. GG Vi Dear Vi That is from your Adobe Flash Player. Right-click the thilly Pop-Up Select Global Settings and let it have 10 MB or so space for temp files. After that it will stop being a nuisance. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No-Blow Picnic Tablecloth When I was a kid, we picnicked a LOT in the summer. My mom got tired of the table cloth blowing up and tipping everything, so she began packing a twin-sized fitted sheet in the basket. It fit the public tables perfectly, and no more blowing tablecloths. In fact, she won a similar tip contest with this back in the late 50's, but I have not seen it mentioned since then. By J'Marinde [2] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. "You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?" "That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks." "But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks." "You DO?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?"

» Pet Suites

Today in 
1715 The first lighthouse in America was authorized for 
 construction at Little Brewster Island, Massachusetts.
1827 The first swimming school in the U.S. opened in 
 Boston, MA.
1829 William Burt patented the typographer, which was 
 the first typewriter.
1877 The first American municipal railroad passenger service 
 began in Cincinnati, Ohio.
1886 Steve Brodie, a New York saloonkeeper, claimed to 
 have made a daredevil plunge from the Brooklyn Bridge into 
 the East River.
1904 The ice cream cone was invented by Charles E. Menches 
 during the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis, MO.
1914 Austria-Hungary issued an ultimatum to Serbia to 
 surrender the assassin of Archduke Francis Ferdinand. 
 England turned that into World War I.
1938 The first federal game preserve was approved by the 
 U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. The area was 2,000 acres 
 in Utah.
1945 The first passenger train observation car was placed 
 in service by the Chicago, Burlington and Quincy Railroad.
1952 Egyptian military officers led by Gamal Abdel Nasser 
 overthrew King Farouk I.
1958 The submarine Nautilus departed from Pearl Harbor, 
 Hawaii, under orders to conduct "Operation Sunshine." 
 The mission was to be the first vessel to cross the north 
 pole by ship. The Nautils achieved that on August 3, 1958.
1962 The "Telstar" communications satellite sent the first 
 live TV broadcast to Europe.
1972 Eddie Merckx of Belgium won his fourth consecutive Tour 
 de France bicycling competition.
1972 The U.S. launched Landsat 1 (ERTS-1). It was the first 
 Earth-resources satellite.
1984 Miss America, Vanessa Williams, turned in her crown 
 after it had been discovered that nude photos of her had 
 appeared in "Penthouse" magazine. She was the first to 
 resign the title.
1986 Britain's Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson at 
 Westminster Abbey in London. They divorced in 1996.
1998 U.S. scientists at the University of Hawaii turned 
 out more than 50 "carbon-copy" mice, with a cloning technique.
2000 Lance Armstrong won his second Tour de France. 
2014  smiled.


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Autoresponders pro/con 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, July 22.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Illinois Bimbo, who posted a selfie of her wearing a shoplifted dress on FB Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1926 Babe Ruth caught a baseball at Mitchell Field in New York. The ball had been dropped from an airplane flying at 250 feet.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
No one can earn a million dollars honestly. --- William Jennings Bryan (1860 - 1925) The only correct actions are those that demand no explanation and no apology. --- Red Auerbach
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>From Honey Married 52 years, I took a look at my wife Julie yesterday and said, "Honey, 52 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I go to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old chick. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 70+ year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things." Now Julie is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old chick, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed.
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While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing nobody around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at a pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?" she asked. "Tennis ball," came the breathless reply. "Oh," said the girl sympathetically, "that must be painful, I had tennis elbow once."
Thanks to Dianne for this picture Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Danielle Saxton, 27, West Frankfort, Illinois Illinois Bimbo, who posted a selfie of her wearing a shoplifted dress on FB Police investigating the theft of clothing and jewelry from a southern Illinois boutique say they arrested a woman after she posted Facebook photos of herself wearing one of the stolen items. WSIL-TV reports that police arrested 27-year-old Danielle Saxton, of West Frankfort, earlier this month on misdemeanor retail theft charges. She's free on her own recognizance. Authorities say a distinctive leopard-print dress was among the items stolen July 11 from Mortie's Boutique in West Frankfort. The store's co-owner, Kert Williams, says he posted about the stolen items on Facebook and that people who saw Williams' posting and those of Saxton made the connection and helped police. Tech Support Pits From: Alice Re: Auto responder Dear Webby While looking for a certain picture that you had one day, I came across your diatribe against autroresponders. At first I was miffed at your reply, that sounded like you had preached the same thing too many times. Pardon me for not having been subscribed as long as others. Then I phoned my daughter, hoping she had a different explanation. Well, golly, she didn't. And she had me blacklisted! Not on purpose, but as you said, anything that smells like an auto- responder gets dumped and the sender blacklisted. Now I dumped my autoresponder, and the stupid book that recommended it. Thanks Alice Dear Alice Good for you! Autoresponders are only justified when they deliver requested information, like for example a price list, or weather update, or event schedule, or even race results when somebody sends a blank email to a certain address. Other than that, it's best to avoid them like the plague. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fruit Fly Trap I absolutely hate fruit flies! This trap is very easy to make and works really well. I always have this trap set up on the counter, so an infestation never has a chance to take hold. :) Approximate Time: 5 minutes Supplies: red wine vinegar Dawn dish soap plastic wrap rubber band toothpick clear jar Steps: Put 3-4 drops of Dawn soap into the bottom of the jar. Pour 6 Tbsp. of red wine vinegar into the jar (or enough to fill it about 1/4 in.). Gently swirl the jar around to combine the ingredients. Place a piece of plastic wrap over the jar and pull it tight across the top. Secure it with a rubber band. Trim off any excess plastic. Using a toothpick, poke holes into the plastic so the flies can get in. Place your trap near any fruit you have out on the counter. Goodbye fruit flies! NOTE: I change out my mixture about every 2 weeks, more often if I am catching a lot of fruit flies. By lalala... [465] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me."
From Sandie: Phone companies charge up to $1.35 for"411 Information" calls, but you really don't have to pay that. When you need to use the 411 Information option, simply dial 1-800-FREE-411 or 1 800 373 3411 and you will not be charge for it. Works on home phones and on cell phones as well Sandie

» She Sells Seashells by the Seashore

Today in 
1376 The legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin leading rats 
 out of town is said to have occurred on this date.
1587 A second English colony was established on Roanoke 
 Island off North Carolina. The colony vanished under 
 mysterious circumstances.
1796 Cleveland was founded by General Moses Cleaveland.
1798 The USS Constitution was underway and out to sea for 
 the first time since being launched on October 21, 1797.
1812 English troops under the Duke of Wellington defeated 
 the French at the Battle of Salamanca in Spain.
1926 Babe Ruth caught a baseball at Mitchell Field in 
 New York. The ball had been dropped from an airplane 
 flying at 250 feet.
1933 Wiley Post ended his around-the-world flight. He 
 had traveled 15,596 miles in 7 days, 18 hours and 45 min.
1943 American forces led by General George S. Patton 
 captured Palermo, Sicily.
1941 Plans for the Pentagon were presented to the House 
 Subcommittee on Appropriations.
1975 Confederate General Robert E. Lee had his U.S. 
 citizenship restored by the U.S. Congress.
1987 The U.S. began its policy of escorting re-flagged 
 Kuwaiti tankers up and down the Persian Gulf to protect them 
 from possible attack by Iran.
1998 Iran tested medium-range missile, capable of reaching 
 Israel or Saudi Arabia.
2000 Astronomers at the University of Arizona announced that 
 they had found a 17th moon orbiting Jupiter.
2003 In northern Iraq, Saddam Hussein's sons Odai and Qusai 
 died after a gunfight with U.S. forces.
2003 In Paris, France, a fire broke out near the top of the 
 Eiffel Tower. About 4,000 visitors were evacuated and no 
 injuries were reported.
2009 The longest total solar eclipse of the 21st century, 
 lasting up to 6 minutes and 38.8 seconds, occurred over 
 parts of Asia and the Pacific Ocean.
2014  smiled.


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How to change icon sizes in Windows 7 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, July 21.

Dr Bill and Jim, HMCM USN RET
figured out the age of the bus driver.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a teacher who threatened to fail a student if he stopped providing sex to her. Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1959 A U.S. District Court judge in New York City ruled that "Lady Chatterley’s Lover" was not a dirty book.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A man can stand anything except a succession of ordinary days. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. --- A. H. Weiler (1909 - 2002)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
'Twas in a restaurant they first met, Romeo and Juliet. 'Twas there that he got into debt, 'Cause he owed what Juli ate.'
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An Irishman and an American were sitting in the bar at Shannon Airport. "I've come to meet my brother," said the Irishman. "He's due to fly in from America in an hour's time. It's his first trip home in forty years". "Will you be able to recognize him?" asked the American. "I'm sure I won't," said the Irishman, "after all, he's been away for a long time". "I wonder if he'll recognize you?" said the American. "Of course he will," said the Irishman. "I haven't been away at all".
Thanks to Janina for this picture Click on the picture for the large version I often share my fruit pits, skins and seeds with my backyard visitors. Here's my recent photo of a chipmunk enjoying a little nectarine. Hope you like my photo too. take care, Janina
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Danielle Watkins, 32, Norwalk, CT Female teacher accused of using grade threat for sex A Stamford High School English teacher is accused of threatening to fail a student if he broke off their sexual relationship. Danielle Watkins of Norwalk turned herself in to police Thursday. She is charged with sexual assault, sale of marijuana and risk of injury to a minor. Police say the 18-year-old student came to them in June and described how the 32-year-old teacher had provided him with drugs and sex since last September. Police say she also gave marijuana to a 15-year-old. The Stamford Advocate reported that the victim allegedly told police he had encounters in her car and during school hours. A forensic examination of her phone reportedly revealed 2,000 text messages and naked pictures of herself sent to the student. Police say they recovered 2,000 text messages, including nude photos sent to the teen's phone. Watkins posted $100,000 bond and is due in state Superior Court in Stamford on July 31. Tech Support Pits From: Eleanor Re: Icon size in Windows 7 Dear Webby For some unknown and mysterious reason my icons on the W7 desktop are really tiny, and Microsoft has no help about that anywhere. Do I have to buy a program to change that like theyb do on W8, or do you have a sneaky trick to fix that? Thanks Eleanor Dear Eleanor Click on an empty spot on your desktop. Hold down the CTRL key Scroll the mouse wheel away from you, GENTLY! Don't get too carried away with that, or you will scroll icons right off the screen. If you do that, Windows usually looses them. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Using Coffee Grounds to Remove Odors Here's a great way to use coffee grounds once you have made coffee. Dump your used coffee grounds into a container and keep, open, in the refrigerator. The used grounds make your fridge smell like coffee and absorbs all the unwanted odors at the same time. When the container gets full, dump them around your azaleas. They have just what it takes to perk them up and get them going again, make a nice, rich looking mulch, and hold some moisture for the plants as well. The best fact of all is that they repel mosquitoes at the same time and are biodegradable while enriching your soil. So, go have a nice, hot cuppa coffee and start going green! Source: A friend told me about this. I tried it, and it does all the things listed above! By Jacketbacker from Greer, SC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A Protestant moved into a completely Catholic community. Being good Catholics they welcomed him into their community. But, also because they were good Catholics they did not eat red meat on Fridays. So when their neighbor began barbecuing some juicy steak on Friday night, they began to squirm. They were so annoyed that they went to talk to him about it. After much talk they convinced him to become Catholic. The next Sunday he went to the priest and the priest sprinkled holy water on him and said, "You were born Protestant. You were raised Protestant. But now you are Catholic." And so, the next Friday, as the neighbors sat down to eat their fish, they were disturbed by the smell of roast beef coming from the neighboring house. They went over to talk to the new Catholic because he knew he was not supposed to eat beef on Fridays. When they saw him, he was sprinkling ketchup on the beef saying, "You were born a cow. You were raised a cow. But now you are a fish." --------------- Ketchup on steak? Barbaric heathen !
"More Americans can name the three stooges than the three branches of government. Well, that's because the three stooges are more likely to get something done." --- David Letterman

» Corkscrews

Today in 
1831 Belgium became independent as Leopold I was proclaimed 
 King of the Belgians.
1861 The first major battle of the U.S. Civil War began. It 
 was the Battle of Bull Run at Manassas Junction, VA. The 
 Confederates won the battle.
1925 The "Monkey Trial" ended in Dayton, TN. John T. Scopes 
 was convicted of violating the state law for teaching Darwin's 
 theory of evolution. The conviction was later overturned.
1940 Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia were annexed by the 
 Soviet Union.
1944 American forces landed on Guam during World War II.
1949 The U.S. Senate ratified the North Atlantic Treaty.
1954 The Geneva Conference partitioned Vietnam into 
 North Vietnam and South Vietnam.
1959 A U.S. District Court judge in New York City ruled 
 that "Lady Chatterley’s Lover" was not a dirty book.
1968 Arnold Palmer became the first golfer to make a 
 million dollars in career earnings after he tied for 
 second place at the PGA Championship.
1997 The U.S.S. Constitution, which defended the 
 United States during the War of 1812, set sail under its 
 own power for the first time in 116 years.
2002 WorldCom Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. 
 At the time it was the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history.
2004 White House officials were briefed on the September 11 
 commission's final report. The 575-page report concluded 
 that hijackers exploited "deep institutional failings within 
 our government." 
2007 The seventh and last book of the Harry Potter series, 
 "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," was released.
2011 Space Shuttle Atlantis landed at Kennedy Space Center 
 in Florida. It was the last flight of NASA's space 
 shuttle program. 
2014  smiled.


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High Speed Internet at alternate locations 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, July 20.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Florida teen who abused a minor and got tenderized by the father. Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1969 Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin E. Aldrin, Jr. became the first men to walk on the moon.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. --- William Blake (1757 - 1827)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
A little boy walked up to the librarian to check out a book entitled "COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE FOR MOTHERS." When the librarian asked him if it was for his mother, he answered 'no.' "Then why are you checking it out?" "Because," said the little boy confidently, "I just started collecting moths last month!"
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A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
Thanks to Dianne for this picture Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Raymond Frolander, 18, Daytona Beach, Florida Dad's 911 call: I've beaten up my son's assailant A father in Daytona Beach, Florida, called 911 early Friday morning to report that when he found someone sexually abusing his 11-year-old son, he beat the assailant until he was "nice and knocked out" for police to apprehend. So far, the father is not facing any charges. CNN affiliate CFN 13 asked Daytona Beach Police Chief Michael Chitwood whether he had any issue with the father's reaction Friday. Chitwood responded, "Not as a police chief and not as a father." The father's identity and that of his son were not released to protect the identity of the minor as an alleged sexual abuse victim. The father, who sounds collected but enraged during the 911 call, told Volusia County emergency dispatch that 18-year-old Raymond Frolander was close to the family and was in the apartment while the father was out. The father says that when he got home, the look on Frolander's face made him think something was wrong. The father says Frolander's pants fell down to his ankles "and nothing else needed to be said" when he saw exposed genitals. According to the charging affivadit, the 11-year-old victim told authorities that Frolander had performed oral sex on him and instructed the boy to fondle him. The document says the boy told authorities that Frolander began abusing him a few years ago. It also says Frolander told police, "I'm guilty." When the 911 dispatcher asked the father whether he used weapons to knock out Frolander, the father told the dispatcher, "my fist and my foot." The father explained that Frolander was breathing, but not speaking, "in a puddle of blood" on the floor "and I loved him up until 15 minutes ago." At times, the dad is heard talking to the suspect, at one point saying, "You are damn lucky, boy, that I love my God." When Daytona Beach police officers arrived, according to the charging affidavit, they saw Frolander "laying motionless on the living room floor with several knots on his face and bleeding from his mouth." He was treated and released from a hospital before he was questioned. Frolander faces a charge of sexual battery of a child and was in the Volusia County Jail late Friday. He had no bond. Chitwood said that the 18-year-old was like a family member to the boy, "and the father acted as a father should act." Chitwood told CFN 13 that it's not unusual for young victims to be afraid to report sexual abuse because they feel threatened or fear that they will get in trouble. Tech Support Pits From: Patti Re: Alternating Highspeed accounts Dear Webby My computer is for fun and a bit of research and after 5 years I've decided it's time to get off dial up. My problem: 6 months in Michigan, 6 months in Arizona. I've looked and looked at high speed providers and can't find one that will work between the two areas and also while I'm on the road. My present provider, Corecomm, works in all three areas but wow, it's getting slower and slower. You have to realize this "olde" gal is slowly coming into the next century, but good grief, there is so much technology to learn and small town living doesn't offer much help Can you offer any advice?? Having a lot of fun, Patti Dear Patti Call Corecom 1-877-267-3266 Customer Service or Tech support 1-800-715-7873 and complain about the lack of speed. Most ISPs gradually reduce your connection and give your bandwidth to those, who complain. You have to wait until Monday. They have nobody there on the weekend. You can, at the same time inquire how much their DSL would be. While on the road, you'll just have to go to hotels and motels that have high speed. As a rule of thumb, 3-star have wired Internet or free local dial-out, 4 star and up have wireless high speed Internet. Most McDonalds have wireless Internet, and once you have the password and the connection, you can usually take a not quite closed laptop out into the parking lot. Regarding the migration, you can also call Earthlink and ask them if they still have a Snowbird Special. Get the phone numbers for both locations ready before you call. They do have a fairly straightforward method for relocating, but best is if you talk to them. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bag Balm for Chapped Skin Relief Buy Bag Balm, in the green tin. It was made for farm animals and has an antiseptic in it for healing cracks and dry skin. Do not use on lips or get into private parts or eyes. Take a bath,dry off, scrub off dry skin, and rub small amount into skin. If using on feet, put on socks. I have given the 1 oz. tins for Christmas for years and have converted all my friends to loyal users. Go online or to your vet or feed and seed store, some drug stores also carry it. Have beautiful feet, elbows, and no flaking - thanks to Bag Balm. By Carol T. [1] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

In the admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling out forms, others were being interviewed and still others were being escorted to their rooms. An elderly woman hesitatnly entered my cubicle. She had completed her admitting forms and, upon my request, handed me her insurance cards. I typed the neccessary information and then asked her the reason for her coming to the hospital. "Just to visit a friend," she said, "but this had taken so long, I'm not sure if she is still alive."
You're driving a bus that is leaving from Pennsylvania and ending in New York. To start off with, there were 32 passengers on the bus. At the next bus stop, 11 people get off and 9 people get on. At the next bus stop, 2 people got off and 2 people got on. At the next bus stop, 12 people got on and 16 people got off. At the next bus stop, 5 people got on and 3 people got off. How old is the bus driver? --------------- Answer tomorrow.

» for all Aviary Affectionados, The Painted Bunting

Today in 
1801 A 1,235 pound cheese ball was pressed at the farm of 
 Elisha Brown, Jr. The ball of cheese was later loaded on 
 a horse-pulled wagon and presented to U.S. President 
 Thomas Jefferson at the White House.
1810 Colombia declared independence from Spain.
1868 Legislation that ordered U.S. tax stamps to be placed 
 on all cigarette packs was passed.
1871 British Columbia joined Confederation as a Canadian 
 province.
1881 Sioux Indian leader Sitting Bull, a fugitive since the 
 Battle of the Little Big Horn, surrendered to federal 
 troops. (Montana)
1908 In the United States, the Sullivan Ordinance bars women 
 from smoking in public facilities.
1917 The draft lottery in World War I went into operation.
1942 The first detachment of the Women's Army Auxiliary Corps, 
 (WACS) began basic training at Fort Des Moines, Iowa.
1944 An attempt by a group of German officials to assassinate 
 Adolf Hitler failed. The bomb exploded at Hitler's Rastenburg 
 headquarters. Hitler was only wounded.
1944 U.S. President Roosevelt was nominated for an 
 unprecedented fourth term of office at the 
 Democratic National Convention in Chicago.
1969 Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and 
 Edwin E. Aldrin, Jr. became the first men to walk 
 on the moon.
1974 Turkish forces invaded Cyprus.
1976 America's Viking I robot spacecraft made a successful 
 landing on Mars.
1982 U.S. President Ronald Reagan pulled the U.S. out of 
 comprehensive test ban negotiations indefinitely.
1985 Treasure hunters began raising $400 million in coins and 
 silver from the Spanish galleon "Nuestra Senora de Atocha." 
 The ship sank in 1622 40 miles of the coast of Key West, FL.
1992 Vaclav Havel, the playwright who led the Velvet 
 Revolution against communism, stepped down as president 
 of Czechoslovakia.
1998 Russia won a $11.2 billion loan from the International 
 Monetary Fund to help avert the devaluation of its currency.
2003 In India, elephants used for commercial work began 
 wearing reflectors to avoid being hit by cars during 
 night work.
2014  smiled.


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Weird tint on pictures 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, July 19.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Cleveland Woman Poses For Kissable Duck Face Mug Shot Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca Fall, NY. Bloomers were introduced at the convention.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Get the facts, or the facts will get you. And when you get them, get them right, or they will get you wrong. --- Dr. Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734) Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money. --- Joey Bishop (1918 - ) "When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.'" --- Jerry Lewis
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A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. "You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand." "No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't like it." "Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water." Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!" "Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay."
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When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" Mom smiled and then replied, "I remember!!"
Thanks to Dianne for this picture Click on the picture for the large version GMO? Silk? Plastic? Photoshop?
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Angela Green, Cleveland Woman Poses For Kissable Duck Face Mug Shot The duck-faced Cleveland woman was arrested Saturday and charged with obstructing official business after refusing to vacate a Quality Inn hotel room she and a male companion had rented the previous evening. When officers from the Wickliffe Police Department told her and her friend they needed to leave or pay for another day, Green, 34, allegedly became “loud and uncooperative and refused to identify herself” to cops. After a brief struggle, Green was arrested and transported to jail where she posed for the above mug shot before being released on $354 bond. She is scheduled for arraignment in Willoughby Municipal Court on July 24. Tech Support Pits From: Ollie Re: Pictures have a weird tint Dear Webby The last 15 pictures that I took, all have a weird tint and less light than I expected. What could be the cause of that? Ollie Dear Ollie Most likely you or somebody turned the main selector wheel on the camera from Auto to Macro or some other unsuitable setting. Put it back to Auto, and the camera will be fine again. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pill Bottles for Transporting Salad Dressing I take lunch to work daily. I use the empty and cleared pill bottles to carry my salad dressing. Then, no soggy salad and the size is perfect for the correct amount of dressing without drowning the salad By karendewillers [1] Sporting goods and camping supply stores have "toothpaste tube" style refillable plastic tubes. Like mayonaise, salad dressing has a really low PH to kill bacteria on contact. You can fill a few tubes with your different dressings and not worry about the dressing going bad. Just mark each tube with a different color Mark-All. The type of plastic used for those tubes sheds the paint with use, but the screw-on caps take regular paint. The tubes are opened at the bottom for refilling and closed with a sliding clamp. They work fine for jam too, or mustard or relish or anything wet or gooey, and are a lot easier for dispensing precise amounts than anything else. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order. As the harried-looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor. "They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!"
>From Hilda As my five-year-old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray." From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."

» H2O

Today in 
1525 The Catholic princes of Germany formed the Dessau 
 League to fight against the Reformation.
1553 Fifteen-year-old Lady Jane Grey was deposed as 
 Queen of England after claiming the crown for nine days. 
 Mary, the daughter of King Henry VIII, was proclaimed Queen.
1788 Prices plunged on the Paris stock market.
1799 The Rosetta Stone, a tablet with hieroglyphic 
 translations into Greek, was found in Egypt.
1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in 
 Seneca Fall, NY. Bloomers were introduced at the 
 convention.
1870 France declared war on Prussia.
1939 Dr. Roy P. Scholz became the first surgeon to 
 use fiberglass sutures.
1942 German U-boats were withdrawn from positions 
off the U.S. Atlantic coast due to effective American 
 anti-submarine countermeasures.
1943 During World War II, more than 150 B-17 and 
 112 B-24 bombers attacked Rome for the first time.
1946 Marilyn Monroe acted in her first screen test.
1975 The Apollo and Soyuz spacecrafts separated after 
 being linked in orbit for two days.
1979 In Nicaragua, the dictatorship of the Somozas 
 was overthrown by the Sandinista National Liberation 
 Front (Frente Sandinista de Liberación Nacional or FSLN).
1982 The U.S. Census Bureau reported that 14% of the 
 population had an income below the official poverty 
 level in 1981.
1984 Geraldine Ferraro was nominated by the Democratic 
 Party to become the first woman from a major political 
 party to run for the office of U.S. Vice-President.
1985 Christa McAuliffe of New Hampshire was chosen to be 
 the first schoolteacher to ride aboard the space shuttle. 
 She died with six others when the Challenger exploded 
 the following year. 
2014  smiled.


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When spammers use your address 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, July 18.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Kentucky jail inmate, who ordered pizza for the cops Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1942 The German Me-262, the first jet-propelled aircraft to fly in combat, made its first flight.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy. --- Janet Long
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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly! replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
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I was in my car one day listening to a guy on the radio help callers with their home problems. One woman called up hysterical after finding a skunk in her basement. "Leave a trail of breadcrumbs or cat food from your basement to your backyard," suggested the show's host. "That'll get rid of it." An hour later the woman called back, even more upset. "Now I have THREE skunks in my basement!"
Thanks to Barb for this picture from her garden Click on the picture for the large version Echeverie
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Harp, 29, Corbin, Kentucky Pizza Prank Pulled From Kentucky Jail Cell JULY 17--Already in police custody, a Kentucky man decided it was the perfect time to prank the police officer who had arrested him for shoplifting and public intoxication, investigators allege. Michael Harp, 29, was collared Tuesday afternoon and locked up at the police station in Corbin, a city in the state’s southeastern corner. While behind bars, Harp asked for permission to use his cell phone, a request that was granted. Shortly after Harp made a call, a Domino’s delivery worker arrived at the precinct with five pepperoni pizzas that had been purportedly ordered by Captain Coy Wilson, the cop who had earlier arrested Harp. Since Wilson was on the phone when the order arrived, patrolman Jeff Hill--unaware that a prank had been played-- went ahead and paid $40 for the pizzas, according to a criminal citation. Not amused by the pizza prank, officers launched an investigation and quickly linked the pizza order to Harp’s phone. A Domino’s worker told cops that, after receiving the order, they placed a confirmation call to the number. Police allege that Harp “answered as Captain Wilson” when he spoke to the Domino’s employee. The Kentuckian, who had originally faced only misdemeanor counts, was hit with three additional charges, including felony identity theft and impersonating a police officer counts. Harp, who denies the pizza prank, has bonded out of the Whitley County Detention Center. The police citation does not reveal if the five pepperoni pizzas were booked into evidence or subsequently disposed of by officers on duty. Tech Support Pits From: Alex Re: Forged address Dear Webby I get all kinds of mail that has my address forged into the sender address. Since I DO send mail to myself as a fast way to record and file notes, I can't block my own address and spam gets through the same way. How do I filter forged addresses? Alex Dear Alex You will notice that spammers usually use some name other than yours, just your address. Put your name into the sender name field. All email programs have a way of doing that, even OE. Then make a filter that IF the Sender address contains alex234@domain.com AND the sender address does NOT contain "Alex P" then dump the mail automatically, don't even list it. If your address has been assigned and contains your entire first and last name, then make the sender name slightly different, for example by adding a middle initial. If the incoming mail does not have that initial, it gets dumped. To make filters, that use Boolean logic like IF, BUT NOT, you need MailWasher. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Butterfly Net As Bug Catcher No photo, but a great tip. Use a dollar store butterfly net to cover the bug, then use your shoe. No bug spray needed. By Peggy Caligione D. [2] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The two most important things to the American female are man’s prevention of nuclear war and man’s putting the toilet seat down.
Mothers who have experience in the trenches of family warfare are sometimes even driven to what I call anticipatory parenting. They ask a child a question, he tries to answer, and they say, “You shut up! When I ask you a question, you keep your mouth shut! You think I'm talking to hear myself talk? Answer me!”

» Wrecked Cars

Today in 
0064 The Great Fire of Rome began.
1536 The authority of the pope was declared void in England.
1789 Robespierre, a deputy from Arras, France, decided to 
 back the French Revolution.
1812 Great Britain signed the Treaty of Orebro, making peace 
 with Russia and Sweden.
1830 Uruguay adopted a liberal constitution.
1872 The Ballot Act was passed in Great Britain, providing 
 for secret election ballots.
1914 Six planes of the U.S. Army helped to form an aviation 
 division called the Signal Corps.
1932 The U.S. and Canada signed a treaty to develop the 
 St. Lawrence Seaway.
1935 Ethiopian King Haile Selassie urged his countrymen to 
 fight to the last man against the invading Italian army.
1936 The first Oscar Meyer Wienermobile rolled out of 
 General Body Company’s factory in Chicago, IL.
1936 The Spanish Civil War began as Gen. Francisco Franco 
 led an uprising of army troops based in Spanish North Africa.
1942 The German Me-262, the first jet-propelled aircraft to 
 fly in combat, made its first flight.
1944 U.S. troops captured Saint-Lo, France, ending the 
 battle of the hedgerows.
1944 Hideki Tojo was removed as Japanese premier and war 
 minister due to setbacks suffered by his country in WW II.
1971 New Zealand and Australia announced they would pull 
 their troops out of Vietnam.
2001 A train derailed, involving 60 cars, in a Baltimore 
 train tunnel. The fire that resulted lasted for six days 
 and virtually closed down downtown Baltimore for several 
 days. (Maryland) 
2014  smiled.


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Is Javascript safe? 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, July 17

Thanks Cathi!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to A Florida husband who battered wife on Jet Ski Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1997 After 117 years, the Woolworth Corp. closed its last 400 stores.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her. --- Wilde (1854 - 1900) Treat people as they are, and they will remain that way. Treat them as they can be and you help them become what they are capable of becoming. --- Goethe
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A couple had two little boys ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened? The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"
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My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other. Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told me he had lent it to his son. Recalling a saying my grandmother used to repeat, I recited, "You should never lend anything to your kids, because you will never get it back." With that, he responded, "Tell you the truth, it's not even my ladder. It's my dad's."
Thanks to Bill for sending this picture! Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Doster, 49 A Florida husband who battered wife on Jet Ski JULY 15--While out jet skiing Sunday afternoon, a married couple got into an argument that turned violent because the woman saw her husband and another male “involved in a sex act together,” according to investigators. The confrontation between Michael Doster, 49, and his spouse of two years resulted in Doster’s arrest for domestic battery. He was released from a Florida jail today after posting $5000 bond on the felony count. As detailed in a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report, Doster and his wife Pamela were on a Sea-Doo jet ski near the Passage Key sandbar at the mouth of Tampa Bay when they began quarreling. Pamela, a deputy noted, brought up the fact that she “saw the defendant and another unknown male involved in a sex act together.” While not specifying when or where this alleged sex act occurred, the cop noted that Pamela reported it involved “giving each other a blow job.” Doster, who was driving the Sea-Doo, allegedly yanked his wife off the jet ski several times, according to the report. “During the last time she was pulled off she hit her head against the side of the jet ski” and refused to get back on the watercraft. Instead, she repaired to the sandbar “and refused to answer his call outs.” When Doster could not locate his wife, he called 911. Pamela, naked except for a life jacket, was subsequently found on the sandbar and transported to safety by rescue workers. A deputy noted that she had a “bruise/bump” on her head, a bruise on her biceps, and a “large swollen area to her left hip area.” She was transported to a local hospital for treatment. Both Doster and his wife were intoxicated, a deputy reported. Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Javascript Dear Webby, do i need javascript if i have sun java installed already? thanks, daniel Dear Daniel You don't install Javascript. Javascript is on web pages, using the SUN Java that you already have installed. You can allow or disallow the use of javascript in your browser's Internet Options. If you don't allow it, a lot of pages won't work right. Javascript has been around for a long time. I used to build shopping carts with it a dozen years ago. Even today, most banking and shopping pages won't work right if you don't allow scripting. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Prescription Bottle Auto Air Freshener I had my husband drill several small holes in the lid. Then I stuffed cotton balls inside and poured scented oils in it. It doesn't leak. I put them in my vehicle to make it smell good. By michele [6] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Sandie for this story: A woman joined a health spa and on her first day, she eagerly joined in on an exercise class. However, when it ended, she went to the front desk and requested cancellation of her membership. When asked why, she replied, "Your floors are so low, I cannot touch my toes!"
Classic! A simple lesson illustrating the difference between the two parties. Fred Thompson and Hillary were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican, Fred Thompson, gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his office for a job. He then took $20 out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person. Hillary was very impressed, so when they came to another homeless person, she decided to help. She walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. She then reached into Thompson's pocket and got out $20. She kept $19 for her administrative fees and gave the homeless person $1.

» Tricky Critters

Today in 
1212 The Moslems were crushed in the Spanish crusade.
1453 France defeated England at Castillon, France, which 
 ended the 100 Years' War.
1785 France limited the importation of goods from Britain.
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte surrendered to the British at 
 Rochefort, France.
1821 Spain ceded Florida to the U.S.
1866 Authorization was given to build a tunnel beneath the 
Chicago River. The three-year project cost $512,709.
1898 U.S. troops under General William R. Shafter took 
 Santiago de Cuba during the Spanish-American War.
1917 The British royal family adopted the Windsor name.
1941 Brigadier General Soervell directed Architect G. Edwin 
 Bergstrom to have basic plans and architectural perspectives 
 for an office building that could house 40,000 War Department 
 employees on his desk by the following Monday morning. The 
 building became known as the Pentagon.
1946 Chinese communists opened a drive against the Nationalist 
 army on the Yangtze River.
1955 Disneyland opened in Anaheim, CA.
1960 Francis Gary Powers pled guilty to spying charges in a 
 Moscow court after his U-2 spy plane was shot down over 
 the Soviet Union.
1966 Ho Chi Minh ordered a partial mobilization of North 
 Vietnam forces to defend against American air strikes.
1975 An Apollo spaceship docked with a Soyuz spacecraft 
 in orbit. It was the first link up between the U.S. and 
 Soviet Union.
1979 Nicaraguan President Anastasio Somoza resigned and 
 fled to Miami in exile. (Florida)
1986 The largest bankruptcy filing in U.S. history took 
 place when LTV Corporation asked for court protection 
 from more than 20,000 creditors. LTV Corp. had debts 
 in excess of $4 billion.
1997 After 117 years, the Woolworth Corp. closed its 
 last 400 stores.
1998 Biologists reported that they had deciphered the 
genome (genetic map) of the syphilis bacterium.
2014  smiled.


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IP number 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, July 16

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Married Teachers Accused Of Sexually Abusing 15-year-old Girl Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2005 J.K. Rowling's book "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" was released. It was the sixth in the Harry Potter series. The book sold 6.9 million copies on its first day of release.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. --- Doctor Who
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Letter from camp Dear Mom, Our Scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her that he's OK. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride on one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning. Scoutmaster Webb got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put a gas can on a fire, the gas can will blow up? Billy is going to look weird until his hair grows back. We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Webb gets the car fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked OK when we left. Scoutmaster Webb said that with a car that old you to have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance on it. We think it's a neat car. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride in the tailgate. It gets pretty hot with ten people in a car. Scoutmaster Webb is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. But he only lets him drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks. Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Also, Wade and I threw up. Scoutmaster Webb said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with the food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. I have to go now. We are going into town to mail our letters and buy more bullets and dynamite. Don't worry about anything. We are fine. Love, Johnny
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Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there," said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down ... I think there's yet another one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern ... It seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor. The Goober scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "Do you think it's the light that's attractin' 'em?"
Thanks to Bill for sending this picture! Click on the picture for the large version Lots of good memories of the canyon! I am glad I went there as often as I did, when I could still afford it.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Porter, 27, and, his wife, Blair Porter of Brandon, Mississippi Married Teachers Accused Of Sexually Abusing 15-year-old Girl Two high school softball coaches who are married to each other are accused of having illegal sexual contact with a 15-year-old student on at least two occasions -- including once on school grounds. Michael Porter, 27, and, his wife, Blair Porter, of Brandon, Mississippi, were arrested Friday and each charged with one count of sexual battery. The alleged victim played on the Ridgeland High School softball team, which was coached by Michael Porter. His wife was an assistant coach who also taught at Old Towne Middle School. The case came to light when the student's mother reported her daughter was being contacted by the couple after school hours. The mother believed that it "went well beyond that of a teacher student relationship," Mississippi News Now reports. After obtaining a search warrant, police said they found a large number of texts between the Porters and the student that included sexually explicit language and naked pictures. The teen allegedly told investigators she had two sexual encounters with the Porters, one at their home and one inside a press box at Ridgefield High School, WAPT TV reports. The indictment says the suspects engaged in oral sex with the minor, according to WJTV TV. The girl's mother told investigators she believes the inappropriate behavior may have begun when her daughter was a student at Old Towne Middle School, where Blair Porter was a teacher. Language in the indictment suggests Blair Porter may have arranged the sexual encounters, WDAM TV reports. Bond was set at $25,000 for Michael Porter and $5,000 for Blair Porter, court officials said. Both were released after posting bail, according to WAPT TV. Trial is set for February. If convicted, they each face up to 30 years in prison. Both suspects have been terminated from their jobs, according to the New York Daily News. Tech Support Pits From: Tam Re: Calendar maker Dear Webby, thanks for the humor letter, lovin it everyday, I was wondering if you know of anyplace online that I can print calenders..monthy ones. thanks Tam Dear Tam I just use a spreadsheet to make calendars whenever I neend some, but you can go to http://www.myfreecalendarmaker.com/ and generate and print them right off their site. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easier Cleaning of S'mores Skewers If you invested in the metal skewers for your s'mores, or just for roasting marshmallows, here's an idea for you: After you've finished roasting the marshmallows for the evening (or afternoon, or whenever), put the skewers points down into a bucket or pitcher filled with 6 inches or so of water and a squirt of dishwashing soap. Let the skewers soak overnight, then scrub them in the morning with a scrubby pad, rinse, and put them away for the next time. Source: Utter frustration after having to clean 60+ skewers before use and then afterwards. They had been put away grungy the year before, and I was determined to NOT do that again! By Eileen M. [56] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

When my aunt's youngest child was 3, he wanted a curse word that he could use. To appease the kid she told him that he could say, "Dag nabbit." Well, the problem was that when he said it, it came out as, "Damm Wabbit."
Little Johnny went to the store with his grandmother. On the way home, he looked through her bags to see what she had purchased. In one package, Little Johnny found some panty hose and he began to sound out the words "Queen Size." He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed, "WOW! Look Gramma! You're as wide as Mom's bed!"

» Provoking Sculptures

Today in 
1774 Russia and the Ottoman Empire signed the treaty of 
 Kuchuk-Kainardji, ending their six-year war.
1779 American troops under General Anthony Wayne 
 captured Stony Point, NY.
1790 The District of Columbia, or Washington, DC, 
 was established as the permanent seat of the 
 United States Government.
1791 Louis XVI was suspended from office until he agreed 
 to ratify the constitution.
1875 The new French constitution was finalized.
1912 Bradley A. Fiske patented the airplane torpedo.
1926 The first underwater color photographs appeared 
 in "National Geographic" magazine. The pictures had 
 been taken near the Florida Keys.
1935 Oklahoma City became the first city in the U.S. 
 to install parking meters.
1942 French police officers rounded up 13,000 Jews and 
 held them in the Winter Velodrome. The round-up was part 
 00of an agreement between Pierre Laval and the Nazis. 
 Germany had agreed to not deport French Jews if France 
 arrested foreign Jews.
1944 Soviet troops occupied Vilna, Lithuania, in their 
 drive toward Germany.
1945 The United States detonated the first atomic bomb 
 in a test at Alamogordo, NM.
1950 The largest crowd in sporting history was 199,854. 
 They watched the Uruguay defeat Brazil in the World Cup 
 soccer finals in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
1951 J.D. Salinger's novel "The Catcher in the Rye" was 
 first published.
1957 Marine Major John Glenn set a transcontinental speed 
 record when he flew a jet from California to New York in 
 3 hours, 23 minutes and 8 seconds.
1969 Apollo 11 blasted off from Cape Kennedy, FL, and began 
 the first manned mission to land on the moon.
1979 Saddam Hussein became president of Iraq after forcing 
 Hasan al-Bakr to resign.
1981 After 23 years with the name Datsun, executives of 
 Nissan changed the name of their cars to Nissan.
2005 J.K. Rowling's book "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood 
 Prince" was released. It was the sixth in the Harry Potter 
 series. The book sold 6.9 million copies on its first day 
 of release.
2014  smiled.


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Calendar Maker 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, July 15
By the time you read this, I will be in Calgary on an
operating table for the cataract operation on my left eye.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Texas couple who kept son locked away for years Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1965 The spacecraft Mariner IV sent back the first close-up pictures of the planet Mars.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
In the United States there is more space where nobody is than where anybody is. That is what makes America what it is. --- Gertrude Stein (1874 - 1946) "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." --- Albert Einstein
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Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?" The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?" The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to brag to?"
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Thanks to Dave for this story: A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of our largest accounts. He asked my help in putting it into operation. At first, he handled most of the work. Eventually, though, he asked me to help with the last phase of the training. When I sat down with one woman and told her I would be showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed with relief. "I'm so glad you're teaching me instead of him." Surprised, I said that my colleague was far more experienced than I was. "Yes," she said, "but I feel much more comfortable with you. I get nervous around smart people."
Click on the picture for the large version Hubble shot towards "Hand Of God"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jenifer Elise Thyssen, 40, and Dane Andrew Thyssen, 39 DRIPPING SPRINGS, Texas Texas couple kept son locked away for years A man arrested for burglary in a Central Texas town told police he had been held captive for at least four years by his adoptive parents in a garage apartment locked on the outside, authorities said. Jenifer Elise Thyssen, 40, and Dane Andrew Thyssen, 39, were being held Friday at the Hays County jail. They were arrested Wednesday on kidnapping charges. Hays County sheriff's deputies say the couple told them they confined 22-year-old Koystya Thyssen in an apartment at their home in Dripping Springs "for the safety" of their other children, according to the arrest affidavit. Court documents don't indicate how many children were in the couple's care. Authorities began to investigate the case after Koystya Thyssen was arrested for burglarizing a neighbor's home after using a screwdriver to escape the apartment. Sheriff's deputies said the apartment had a toilet, sink and microwave, and that Koystya Thyssen told them his adoptive parents gave him a box of dry and frozen foods once a week. He said he was allowed to leave once a week to see a counselor, but was otherwise confined to the apartment. "Koystya stated he believes it's wrong how he is treated but doesn't say anything," the affidavit says. "Koystya advised he had no friends nor any family in the United States." The affidavit does not indicate where he is originally from. Dripping Springs, a town of around 1,900 residents, is about 20 miles west of Austin. Jenifer and Dane Thyssen each were being held on $350,000 bond. Koystya Thyssen was being held at the county jail Friday on a burglary of a habitation charge. His bond was set at $10,000. No attorney was listed for him. Tech Support Pits From: Tam Re: Calendar maker Dear Webby, thanks for the humor letter, lovin it everyday, I was wondering if you know of anyplace online that I can print calenders..monthy ones. thanks Tam Dear Tam I just use a spreadsheet to make calendars whenever I neend some, but you can go to http://www.myfreecalendarmaker.com/ and generate and print them right off their site. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Odors From the Microwave Lots of food smells linger in the microwave for a long time. To combat those odors and leave your microwave smelling fresh, use lemon essential oil. Just put a cup of water into a microwave-safe glass container and add 4 drops of lemon oil. Microwave the bowl on high for 2 minutes; keep the microwave door closed until the water is cooled a little, about 10 minutes. By JodiT from Aurora, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Sandie for this story: At the banquet of their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such a long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife"? Tom responded, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single!"
A flight attendant on a cross-country flight nervously announced about 30 minutes outbound from LA, "I don't know how this happened, but we have 103 passengers aboard and only 40 dinners." When the passengers' muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal so someone else can eat, will receive free drinks for the length of the flight." Her next announcement came an hour later. "If anyone wants to change his mind, we still have 29 dinners available!"

» Provoking Sculptures

Today in 
1099 Jerusalem fell to the Crusaders.
1410 Poles and Lithuanians defeated the Teutonic knights 
 at Tannenburg, Prussia.
1789 The electors of Paris set up a "Commune" to live without 
 the authority of the government.
1806 Lieutenant Zebulon Pike began his western expedition from 
 Fort Belle Fountaine, near St. Louis, MO.
1813 Napoleon Bonaparte's representatives met with the Allies 
 in Prague to discuss peace terms.
1834 Lord Napier of England arrived in Macao, China as the first 
 chief superintendent of trade.
1885 In New York, the Niagara Reservation State Park opened.
1888 "Printers’ Ink" was first sold.
1901 Over 74,000 Pittsburgh steel workers went on strike.
1904 The first Buddhist temple in the U.S. was established in 
 Los Angeles, CA.
1916 In Seattle, WA, Pacific Aero Products was incorporated 
 by William Boeing. The company was later renamed Boeing Co.
1918 The Second Battle of the Marne began during World War I.
1922 The duck-billed platypus arrived in America, direct from 
 Australia. It was exhibited at the Bronx Zoo in New York City.
1942 The first supply flight from India to China over the 'Hump' 
 was carried to help China's war effort.
1958 Five thousand U.S. Marines landed in Beirut, Lebanon, to 
 protect the pro-Western government. The troops withdrew 
 October 25, 1958.
1965 The spacecraft Mariner IV sent back the first close-up 
 pictures of the planet Mars.
1968 Commercial air travel began between the U.S. and the 
 U.S.S.R., when the first plane, a Soviet Aeroflot jet, 
 landed at Kennedy International Airport in New York.
1987 Taiwan ended thirty-seven years of martial law.
2009 "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" was released 
 in theaters in the U.S. It was the sixth movie in the series. 
2014  smiled.


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How to find your IP number? 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, July 14

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Missouri man, who shot his wife, because he got tired of her. Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1946 Dr. Benjamin Spock’s "The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care" was first published.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them! --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)
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A man once counseled his son that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his porridge every morning. The son did this religiously, and he lived to the age of 93. When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren, and a 15 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
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Thanks to Corrine for this story: When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day she tried it on for the first time I was sitting with Mother in the living room as Andrea descended the stairs. The gown was a perfect fit on her petite frame. Mother's eyes welled with tears. I put my arm around her. "You're not losing a daughter," I reminded her in time- honored fashion. "You're gaining a son." "Oh, forget about that BS!" she wailed with a sob. "I used to fit into that dress!"
Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Bobby Leonard, 59, Naylor, Missouri. Missouri man shot wife because he was 'tired of her'. When Bobby Leonard was questioned about shooting his wife, Carolyn, in the shoulder on Saturday, he didn't mince words. Leonard, 59, allegedly confessed to the crime and said he did it because he was "tired of her," according to the Southeast Missourian newspaper. The shooting occurred Saturday morning after the couple started arguing in their trailer home in Naylor, Missouri. Ripley County Cpl. Earl Wheetley responded a call about a "female being shot by her husband" and found Carolyn Leonard "laying on the front porch covered in blood," according to his probable-cause affidavit. The victim told officers that her husband shot her. When Leonard exited the trailer, he was arrested, according to the Associated Press. After Wheetley handcuffed Leonard, the officer asked the suspect if he had any weapons him. He said Leonard replied, "No, the gun is in the house on the counter." Wheetley said after Leonard was read his Miranda rights, the suspect asked if his wife had died. When Wheetley asked what happened, Leonard allegedly told him, "I got tired of her, and shot her." Ripley County Sheriff Ron Barnett said the victim was flown to a Memphis, Tennessee hospital for treatment and is reportedly in stable condition. Leonard was charged with first-degree domestic assault and armed criminal action or first-degree domestic assault. He was being held at the Doniphan City Jail in lieu of $150,000 cash bond, according to RawStory.com. Tech Support Pits From: Brook Re: IP number Dear Webby, I need to find my IP number each time I log on from a different hotel, to get my outgoing email autyhenticated. What is the easiest way to find that IP number? Thanks Brook Dear Brook Just go to httop://webby.com/ip That page will tell you, and you can just highlight and copy the IP number from there. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Outdoor Movie Night We have weekly movie night outside. We set up a DVD projector to show the movie on the garage door. Every week someone else picks the movie and the snacks. Everyone has a great time. By Margaret from Hicksville, NY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A Yuppie was sent a ransom note saying that he was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the country club at 10 o'clock the next day if he ever wanted to see his wife alive again. He didn't arrive until almost 12:30. A masked man stepped out from behind some bushes and growled, "What took ya so long? You're over two hours late." "Hey ! Give me a break." whined the Yuppie. "I have a 27 handicap."
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

» Funny Cats 49:

Today in 
1223 In France, Louis VIII succeeded his father, Philip Augustus.
1430 Joan of Arc, taken prisoner by the Burgundians in May, 
 was handed over to Pierre Cauchon, the bishop of Beauvais.
1456 Hungarians defeated the Ottomans at the Battle of Belgrade.
1536 France and Portugal signed the naval treaty of Lyons, which 
 aligned them against Spain.
1789 French Revolution began when Parisians stormed the Bastille 
 prison and released the seven prisoners inside.
1798 The U.S. Congress passed the Sedition Act. The act made it 
 a federal crime to write, publish, or utter false or malicious 
 statements about the U.S. government.
1868 Alvin J. Fellows patented the tape measure.
1900 European Allies retook Tientsin, China, from the 
 rebelling Boxers.
1911 Harry N. Atwood landed an airplane on the lawn of the 
 White House to accept an award from U.S. President William Taft.
1914 Robert H. Goddard patented liquid rocket-fuel.
1933 All German political parties except the Nazi Party 
 were outlawed.
1940 A force of German Ju-88 bombers attacked Suez, Egypt, 
 from bases in Crete.
1941 Vichy French Foreign Legionaries signed an armistice 
 in Damascus, which allowed them to join the Free French 
 Foreign Legion.
1945 American battleships and cruisers bombarded the 
 Japanese home islands for the first time.
1946 Dr. Benjamin Spock’s "The Common Sense Book of 
 Baby and Child Care" was first published.
1951 The first sports event to be shown in color, on 
 CBS-TV, was the Molly Pitcher Handicap at Oceanport, NJ.
1958 The army of Iraq overthrew the monarchy.
1965 The American space probe Mariner 4 flew by Mars, and 
sent back photographs of the planet.
1998 Los Angeles sued 15 tobacco companies for $2.5 billion 
 over the dangers of secondhand smoke.
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 10 million applications 
 downloaded.
2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.5 billion applications 
downloaded. 
2014  smiled.


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Black screen on laptop 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, July 13

If you can get outside, watch for the SuperMoon.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Pennsylvania teacher for having sex with two gossipy students too close to the end of school year Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1978 Lee Iacocca was fired as president of Ford Motor Co. by chairman Henry Ford II.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It only takes 20 years for a liberal to become a conservative without changing a single idea. --- Robert Anton Wilson
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Smith emailed his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he wrote, "my mother-in-law is doing some heavy house-cleaning tomorrow, and my wife wants me to go help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replied. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," Smith wrote back, "I knew I could count on you!"
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Judge: Did you or did you not see the gun being fired? Witness: I did not see it being fired. I only heard it. Judge: Well, that's hearsay. It's inadmissible as evidence. As the witness left the stand and walked back to his seat, his back was turned to the judge, at which point he laughed out loud. Immediately the judge recalled him to the bench and was about to hold him in contempt of court. Witness: Did you actually see me laugh? Judge No, but I heard you. Witness: Isn't that the same kind of inadmissible hearsay, Judge?
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tiffany Leiseth, 26, New Brighton, Pennsylvania Pennsylvania teacher for having sex with two gossipy students too close to end of school year A Pennsylvania teacher has been charged with felony institutional sexual assault following allegations that she had sex with two 18-year-old students at her home. Tiffany Leiseth, 26, worked as a substitute English teacher in the New Brighton School District, northwest of Pittsburgh. The victims in the case were both taught by Leiseth, although the alleged sex acts occurred after classes had ended for the year. Police launched an investigation in late May after they received tips that the teacher had sent nude photos to each of the young men. “[Investigators] followed up on that rumor and they found those students, and they found the nude photographs, and they identified the teacher,” Moon Township Police Chief Leo McCarthy told CBS Pittsburgh. In interviews with police, each victim described how he had been invited to Leiseth's house, was offered beer, and then engaged in sexual activity with the teacher. The first student came over on the last day of school, in the hours following the end of classes. The second student said he visited Leiseth's home the next day, according to police. She reportedly told the students not to tell anyone, according to WPXI. Leiseth lost her job in the wake of the allegations, but her attorney argued that since classes were over when the alleged acts occurred, she wasn't their teacher anymore. “I'm not going to get in a war at this point with the alleged victims’ families,” Michael DeRiso, Leiseth’s attorney, told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. “The reality is you had three consenting adults once school let out.” McCarthy disagrees. “Regardless of your age, whether you’re an adult or not, if you’re a high school student, a teacher cannot have sexual relations with you,” McCarthy told WPXI. However, because the young men were 18 years old, police could not charge Leiseth with a crime for sending them nude photos, CBS Pittsburgh reports. Leiseth's preliminary hearing is scheduled for July 22. Tech Support Pits From: Carol Re: How to open a PayPal account Dear Webby, I have The Black Screen of Death of my laptop after doing what I was under the impression was a restart after a MSFT upgrade. I suppose there is nothing for it but to take it to Geek Squad, right? Carol T​ Dear Carol I have no idea what MSFT is. However, if you have a black screen and can't see what is going on, then yes, you'll have to bring it to the Geek Squad. Most likely they will start it up with Linux from a Live CD or USB thumb drive, and look what is going on. Once they have access to the screen, they should be able to fix the problem, or at least copy all your data onto DVDs and then format and re-install Windows. Good Luck! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Wash Cloth for Telephone Space Around Toddlers To get space from my toddlers when I am on the phone, I sit with a wet facecloth and wipe their faces whenever they come near me. Now I can chat without them being right in my space. By Mrs. Burgo from Newcastle, NSW Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

On the first day of creation, God created the dog. On the second day, God created man to serve the dog. On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth (especially the horse) to serve as potential food for the dog. On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the dog. On the fifth day, God created the tennis ball so that the dog might or might not retrieve it. On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the dog healthy and the man broke. On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but He had to walk the dog.
Thanks to Richard for this story: My mom Molly, a difficult independent 75 year old, likes sitting by the park feeding the pigeons. One day she brought with her a whole bun of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. She sat there without being noticed by anyone in our rich suburban neighborhood. Then suddenly a man in his early 40's rained on my mom's parade by telling her that she shouldn't throw away good food on a bunch of pigeons that can find food anywhere... when there are a lot of people starving in Africa , says the stranger. Then my mother said in crazed anger and without hesitation, "Well, I can't throw that far!" She handed him the half bun and stated "You bring it to them!"

» Funny Cats 49:

Today in 
1099 The Crusaders launched their final assault on Muslims 
 in Jerusalem.
1534 The Ottoman armies captured Tabriz in northwestern Persia.
1558 Led by the court of Egmont, the Spanish army defeated the 
 French at Gravelines, France.
1585 A group of 108 English colonists, led by Sir Richard 
 Grenville, reached Roanoke Island, NC.
1643 In England, the Roundheads, led by Sir William Waller, 
 were defeated by royalist troops under Lord Wilmot in the 
 Battle of Roundway Down.
1754 At the beginning of the French and Indian War, George 
 Washington surrendered the small, circular Fort Necessity 
 in southwestern Pennsylvania to the French.
1812 The first pawnbroking ordinance was passed in New York City.
1832 Henry Schoolcraft discovered the source of the Mississippi 
 River in Minnesota.
1835 John Ruggles received patent #1 from the U.S. Patent Office 
 for a traction wheel used in locomotive steam engines. All 9,957 
 previous patents were not numbered.
1863 Opponents of the Civil War draft began three days of rioting 
in New York City, which resulted in more than 1,000 casualties.
1875 David Brown patented the first cash-carrier system.
1878 The Congress of Berlin divided the Balkans among 
 European powers.
1931 A major German financial institution, Danabank, failed. This 
 led to the closing of all banks in Germany until August 5.
1941 Britain and the Soviet Union signed a mutual aid pact, that 
 provided the means for Britain to send war material to the 
 Soviet Union.
1954 In Geneva, the United States, Great Britain and France reached 
 an accord on Indochina which divided Vietnam into two countries, 
 North and South, along the 17th parallel.
1978 Lee Iacocca was fired as president of Ford Motor Co. by 
 chairman Henry Ford II.
1984 In Arkansas, Terry Wallis was injured in a car accident and 
 was left comatose. He came out of the coma in June of 2003.
1998 "Image of an Assassination" went on sale. The video 
 documentary is of Abraham Zapruder's home video of U.S. 
 President Kennedy's assassination in Dallas.
2000 Sprint Corp. and WorldCom canceled their planned merger 
 due to opposition by regulators in the United States and Europe.
2014  smiled.


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How to open a PayPal account 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, July 12 

If you can get outside, watch for the SuperMoon.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman busted for doing dopey, naked yoga in the middle of the road Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1982 "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial" broke all box-office records by surpassing the $100-million mark of ticket sales in the first 31 days of its opening.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I am more afraid of an army of one hundred sheep led by a lion than an army of one hundred lions led by a sheep. --- Charles Maurice Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. --- Joseph Conrad (1857 - 1924) When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. --- Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)
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>From Willie My wife cannot ride in a car without telling whoever is driving what to do, when to do it, etc. She is, bar none, the worst back seat driver in the world. I have long thought this, though she would deny it. She claimed she seldom, if ever made comments about my driving. I, of course, claimed the opposite. Now I have proof. The other day we were headed for the mall and my daughter piped up, "Daddy, before you married Mommy, who told you how to drive?"
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Tom's barn burned down and his wife, Matilda Jane, called her insurance agent to file a claim... Matilda Jane told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money, right quick!" The agent replied, "Just a minute, there, Matilda Jane. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of comparable worth." There was a long pause before Matilda Jane replied, "Then I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband... Right NOW!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michele Cernak, 51, Ocala, Floriduh Florida woman busted for doing dopey, naked yoga in the middle of the road JULY 10--A nearly naked woman who was doing yoga exercises in the middle of a Florida roadway was arrested yesterday afternoon by cops who found heroin and drug paraphernalia in her running pickup truck. Michele Cernak, 51, was collared on a variety of drug counts after police responded to a 911 call about an intoxicated woman stripping off her clothes on an Ocala street. When officers confronted the Ocala resident, her pants were at her ankles. Witnesses told officers that Cernak had been doing yoga poses. Cernak was exercising about ten feet from her truck, which had its driver’s door open. A search of the vehicle turned up heroin and drug paraphernalia, according to an Ocala Police Department report. During questioning, Cernak, who had a bleeding wound on her left ankle, reportedly admitted that she had been shooting heroin. Charged with three felonies and two misdemeanors, Cernak is locked up in the Marion County jail in lieu of $5000 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Carol Re: How to open a PayPal account Dear Webby, how do you set up a paypal account? I have wanted to know but kept forgetting to ask you. I look forward to your humor letter every day. my hubby & I have learned lots of things from you. THANKS Carol Dear Dear Carol Just go to http://paypal.com and click on the "Sign Up" link in the top right corner. It will ask you the usual stuff, but not as much as when you sign up for a bank account downtown. Just fill that out, and you'll get your account. You can run it like a debit card account, so that you can only use whatever money you got in it, or you can back it up with a debit or credit card, so that it can fall back onto that, if you are a bit short on a purchase or for example are buying more Skype Out minutes in the middle of a long phone call. Have FUN! DearWwebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Vinegar for Rust and Wood Treatment Vinegar is really great stuff with many cool uses. Here are the the 2 best ones I know of. 1) Remove rust from metal. Just let the metal (pliers, blade etc.) soak overnight in the vinegar. Rub off with old cloth, rinse with water and dry or place in sun. Bye-bye rust. 2)Paint the undiluted vinegar on wood to keep nasty woodborers and other insects away. It's better if you can submerge the wood for an hour but not necessary. Considering the prices nowadays of rust remover and wood treatment, this tip can save you many, many $$! Source: My own experiments. It works! By jddewet [1] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them." "That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man. "This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the King, until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, " and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half." "Sounds good to me,"said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him." The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "He must marry the first lady's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court. "Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law."

» Volcanic Noise & Soot:

Today in 
1096 Crusaders under Peter the Hermit reached Sofia, Bulgaria. 
 There they met their Byzantine escort, which brought them 
 safely the rest of the way to Constantinople by August 1.
1543 England's King Henry VIII married his sixth and last wife, 
 Catherine Parr.
1690 Protestant forces led by William of Orange defeated the 
 Roman Catholic army of James II.
1691 William III defeated the allied Irish and French armies 
 at the Battle of Aughrim, Ireland.
1790 The French Assembly approved a Civil Constitution 
 providing for the election of priests and bishops.
1864 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln witnessed the battle where 
 Union forces repelled Jubal Early's army on the outskirts of 
 Washington, DC.
1941 Moscow was bombed by the German Luftwaffe.
1946 "The Adventures of Sam Spade" was heard on ABC radio 
 for the first time.
1957 The U.S. surgeon general, Leroy E. Burney, reported that 
 there was a direct link between smoking and lung cancer.
1960 Manufacturing began for the Etch A Sketch®.
1982 "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial" broke all box-office records 
 by surpassing the $100-million mark of ticket sales in the 
 first 31 days of its opening.
1982 The last of the distinctive-looking Checker taxicabs rolled 
 off the assembly line in Kalamazoo, MI.
1990 Russian republic president Boris N. Yeltsin announced his 
 resignation from the the Soviet Communist Party.
1998 1.7 billion people watched soccer's World Cup finals 
 between France and Brazil. France won 3-0.
1999 Walt Disney Co. announced that it was merging all of its 
 Internet operations together with Infoseek into Go.com.
2000 Russia launched the Zvezda after two years of delays. 
 The module was built to be the living quarters for the 
 International Space Station (ISS.) 
2014  smiled.


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Problem with Adobe not playing movies 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, July 11.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh woman for carrying crack in her vagina Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1962 The first transatlantic TV transmission was sent through the Telstar I satellite.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made. --- Otto von Bismarck (1815 - 1898)
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An old fellow was snoozing away contentedly when he was startled awake by the doorbell. He staggered off the couch to make his way to the door. There stood a gorgeous young woman. "Oh my goodness," the pretty young thing exclaimed, "I'm at the wrong house." "Sweetheart, you're at the right house," the old guy assured her. "But you're seventy years too late."
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I was listening to a lady who called a radio pastor. The pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who has that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear. The lady, who was obviously crying, said, "Pastor, I was born blind, and I've been blind all my life. I don't mind being blind but I have some well meaning friends who tell me that if I had more faith I could be healed." The pastor asked her, "Tell me, do you carry one of those white tipped canes?" "Yes I do," she replied. "Then the next time someone says that, whack them over the head with the cane," He said. "Then tell them 'If they had more faith that wouldn't hurt!'"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jennifer Crosby, 42, Indian River County, Floriduh Hiding Crack Cocaine In Her Vagina A Florida woman accused of hiding crack cocaine in her vagina had her plans foiled by the foil allegedly used to wrap the drugs. Jennifer Renee Crosby, 42, was arrested June 24 in Indian River County after authorities pulled over her companion, Robert William King, because it appeared that their green Chrysler had a window tint violation. Things escalated quickly. When investigators asked King, 47, for his license, registration and proof of insurance, King allegedly replied, "I don’t have a license! I’m habitual!” according to TCPalm.com. Officers noticed Crosby was nervously shaking and asked her if she was carrying drugs. At first she said no, but when the investigator called for a female deputy to come to the scene, she allegedly said, "I have drugs up my vagina," according to an arrest report obtained by The Smoking Gun. Crosby was given a latex glove to wear while she removed the alleged crack cocaine. During her retrieval efforts, she told police, "Ouch! The foil is hurting the inside of my vagina," UPI.com reports. A field test of the substance confirmed that it was crack cocaine. The narcotic and $3,743 in cash were booked as evidence. Crosby was arrested and charged with possession of cocaine and drug paraphernalia and King was arrested on a habitual traffic offender charge. Tech Support Pits This item was forwarded by Ophelia From: Jim Re: Can not watch flash movies I tried to watch your Bonus Movie but it had the Adobe Player screen where you have to accept or deny.....It wouldn't do either and wouldn't play. Sorry bout that! Have a GREAT day... Jim Dear Jim Yeah, I know Adobe is a pain in the nuisance. Right-Click on the movie, select Global Settings, and let it take 10 Mb of temporary storage. After that it should work OK. Ophelia Thanks, Ophelia!
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Using Any Vacuum Cleaner Bag A pack of 3 vacuum cleaner bags costs $10.00 & tax. That's over $3.50 for one bag! I never buy the original bags anymore. Instead, I buy any bags that are roughly the same size at yard sales and Thrift Stores. Salvation Army has baskets full of those bags in all sizes, for 25 cents a bag! Before I discard a full bag, I remove the cardboard piece that fits my model of vacuum. I remove the cardboard piece of the Thrift store bags, heat up my glue gun, and glue the original piece from the used bag in place. I have reused the same pieces about 30 times each. This is saving me more than $150 a year! If the bags were not exactly the same size as the originals, it has not made any difference. The important piece is the cardboard fitting. This is way more hygienic than opening a full bag, cleaning it out and resealing it, as some people do. Just remove that cardboard piece shortly before you throw the full bag in the dumpster. No mess, no dust. It takes only seconds to make, after the glue gun is heated up. Source: I came up with that myself, tried it out and it worked perfectly. Doing this since 8 years now. By Tanja V. [1] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," she explained. "Oh, and it took a while to fix it," said the passenger. "Not exactly." replied the stewardess, "It just took us a bit to find a deaf pilot."
Old Granny went to her doctor to see what could be done about her constipation. "It's terrible," she said, "I haven't moved my bowels in a week." "I see. Have you done anything about it?" asked the doctor. "Naturally," she replied, "I sit in the bathroom for a half-hour in the morning and again at night." "No," the doctor said, "I mean do you take anything?" "Naturally," she answered, "I take a book."

» Cacti Galore

Today in 
1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg was elected Holy Roman Emperor 
 in Germany.
1533 Henry VIII, who divorced his wife and became head of the 
 church of England, was excommunicated from the Catholic Church 
 by Pope Clement VII.
1786 Morocco agreed to stop attacking American ships in the 
 Mediterranean for a payment of $10,000.
1804 The United States' first secretary of the treasury, Alexander Hamilton, 
 was killed by Vice President Aaron Burr in a duel.
1864 In the U.S., Confederate forces led by Gen. Jubal Early began an 
 invasion of Washington, DC. They turned back the next day.
1918 Enrico Caruso recorded "Over There" written by George M. Cohan.
1934 U.S. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt became the first American 
 chief executive to travel through the Panama Canal while in office.
1962 The first transatlantic TV transmission was sent through the 
 Telstar I satellite.
1972 U.S. forces broke the 95-day siege at An Loc in Vietnam.
1979 The abandoned U.S. space station Skylab returned to Earth. It burned 
up in the atmosphere and showered debris over the Indian Ocean and Australia.
1985 Dr. H. Harlan Stone announced that he had used zippers for stitches 
 on 28 patients. The zippers were used when he thought he may have to 
 re-operate.
1995 Full diplomatic relations were established between the United States 
 and Vietnam.
1999 A U.S. Air Force jet flew over the Antarctic and dropped off 
 emergency medical supplies for Dr. Jerri Nelson after she had discovered 
 a lump in her breast. Nelson was at the Amundsen-Scott South Pole 
 Research Center.
2000 The video "Jaws," the Anniversary Collector's Edition, was released.
2000 Liam Neeson broke his pelvis after hitting a deer with his Harley 
Davidson motorcycle. 
2014  smiled.


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Deleting temp files 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, July 10.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Delaware dope, who stashed heroin in his baby's diaper Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1962 The Telstar Communications satellite was launched. The satellite relayed TV and telephone signals between Europe and the U.S.
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The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid. --- Art Spander
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An authority on African animals was giving a lecture. When he finished, he asked for questions. One man stood up and asked, "Is it true that the wild animals in Africa won't bother you if you carry a lighted torch?" The speaker replied, "That depends on how fast you carry it."
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Thanks to Phil for this story: My two-year-old daughter, Paige, was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. Paige kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, her eyes closed. With about six other patients waiting, Paige marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "wake up! This is not church!" My wife, Lani, woke from her doze to the sound of the other patients laughing hysterically.
Click on the picture for the large version The "Angel Cloud" that appeared over Palm Beach yesterday.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Penn, 25, Newcastle, Delaware Dad Hid Heroin In His Baby's Diaper A Delaware man wanted on a theft charge stashed 16 packets of heroin down his eight-month-old baby boy’s diaper when police spotted him walking yesterday on a New Castle street, investigators allege. According to cops, Michael Penn recently swiped items from a Verizon store, prompting the issuance of an arrest warrant for shoplifting. Police officers approached the 25-year-old Penn while he was walking Tuesday with his three children. Seen in the adjacent mug shot, Penn was carrying the baby and his five-year-old daughter. Directed by officers to put the children down, Penn initially refused, cops reported. At one point, Penn was seen placing something in the baby’s diaper, according to the New Castle City Police Department. Penn was eventually detained and a search of the child’s diaper turned up the heroin stash, which can be seen in a police evidence photo. The heroin packets were stamped with brand names like “Bioshock” and “Death.” In addition to the shoplifting count, Penn was booked into jail yesterday on narcotics, resisting arrest, and child endangerment charges. He was later released on $4500 bond. Penn’s children were turned over to the custody of his grandmother, and cops reported the incident to child welfare officials. Tech Support Pits From: John Re: Can temp files be deleted? Dear Webby, My machine has an awful lot of temp files. Can they be deleted safely? What is the best way to do that? John Dear John Yes, sure you can get rid of them. Your browser will be a bit slower for a while, because it now has to download all the stuff again, that it had cached. Especially on slow dial-up, deleting temp files will NOT speed up your machine. Most programs are well behaved and clean up when they close. Internet Explorer does not clean up The easiest way to dump temp files is with Crap Cleaner. It will also dump the recycle bin, and if you don't take the checkmark off the cookies, it will dump those too. Crap Cleaner is free. Just go to my Tool Box and download it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Emergency Sink Stopper The house I am at doesn't have the disposal stopper. I like to do dishes with a full sink of water so this posed a problem. Then, I realized that a tall glass works wonders. Someone posted here once that certain jar lids worked so this is just another clever solution to those pesky problems that plague our lives. Easy Peasy! Hope this helps. By Sandi [394] At the Dollar Store you can get "universal" drain stoppers. They look like a 3/16" thick, 4" x 4" flexible rubber square. You just lay them over a sink or tub drain. Some have a hole punched in a corner to attach a ball chain or string, so that you can pull the flap in a hurry, if the water is too hot or too high to reach in. Just attach the ball chain or string to the faucets, and you will never have to search for it. It will never break, even if you drop a big, cast iron pot into the sink. Works great! Have Fun! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration - that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper. "Gladly," responded the good man. When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder turned at once to the "appreciation" column. There he read: "The minister extends his thanks to Elder Brown for his gift of fruit and for the spirit in which it was given."
My Parents had not been out together in quite some time. One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her. "Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked. Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!" They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of it that Dad confessed. His question had actually been directed to the family dog, lying near Mom's feet on the kitchen floor.
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» Cacti Galore

Today in 
1609 The Catholic states in Germany set up a league under the 
 leadership of Maximillian of Bavaria.
1679 The British crown claimed New Hampshire as a royal colony.
1776 The statue of King George III was pulled down in 
 New York City.
1778 In support of the American Revolution, Louis XVI declared 
 war on England.
1821 U.S. troops took possession of Florida. The territory was 
 sold by Spain.
1866 Edison P. Clark patented his indelible pencil.
1900 ‘His Master’s Voice’, was registered with the U.S. 
 Patent Office. The logo of the Victor Recording Company, 
 and later, RCA Victor, shows the dog, Nipper, looking 
 into the horn of a gramophone machine.
1910 W.R. Brookins became the first to fly an airplane 
 at an altitude of one mile.
1913 The highest temperature ever recorded in the U.S. 
 was 134 degrees in Death Valley, CA.
1928 George Eastman first demonstrated color motion pictures.
1929 The U.S. government began issuing paper money in the 
 small size.
1938 Howard Hughes completed a 91 hour flight around the world.
1940 The 114-day Battle of Britain began during World War II.
1949 The first practical rectangular television was presented. 
 The picture tube measured 12 by 16 and sold for $12.
1951 Sugar Ray Robinson was defeated for only the second time 
 in 133 fights as Randy Turpin took the middleweight crown.
1953 American forces withdraw from Pork Chop Hill in Korea 
 after heavy fighting.
1962 The Telstar Communications satellite was launched. The 
 satellite relayed TV and telephone signals between 
 Europe and the U.S.
1973 Britain granted the Bahamas their independence after 
 three centuries of British colonial rule.
1985 Coca-Cola resumed selling the old formula of Coke, 
 it was renamed "Coca-Cola Classic." It was also announced 
 that they would continue to sell "New" Coke.
1990 Mikhail Gorbachev won re-election as the leader of 
 the Soviet Communist Party.
1991 Boris Yeltsin took the oath of office as the first 
 elected president of the Russian republic.
1991 U.S. President Bush lifted economic sanctions 
 against South Africa, citing its "profound transformation" 
 toward racial equality.
1997 Scientists in London said DNA from a Neanderthal skeleton 
 supported a theory that all humanity descended from an 
 "African Eve" 100,000 to 200,000 years ago.
1998 The World Bank approved a $700 million loan to Thailand.
1999 The heads of six African nations that had troops in the 
 Democratic Republic of the Congo signed a cease-fire 
 agreement that would end the civil war in that nation.
2002 Peter Paul Rubens' painting "The Massacre of the 
 Innocents" sold for $76.2 million at Sotheby's.
2014  smiled.


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Windows 7 mystery shut-downs 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, July 9.

Windows 9 will be released this fall.
Apparently Microsoft has realized that Windows 8 
belongs on the same shelf as Vista and DOS 4.

According to NetMarketShare, the combined market share of 
Windows 8.1 and Windows 8 is just 12.54 percent, more than 
Apple’s Mac OS share, but far less than the 25.31 percent 
held by Windows XP, or the 50.55 percent share held by 
Windows 7. Those are actual user numbers, not claimed "sales"
which include donations to foreign countries by the 
Bill&Melinda foundation.

What I find significant is the 25.31% XP. Considering the
difficulty in getting XP CDs, that is a really solid
one finger salute to Microsoft.

Those figures don't include Linux. "That's industrial, 
commercial and professional users."
If all the made-for-XP and newer machines, that are 
running Linux were included, then the Windows 8/8.1 
share would be way less than 1%.
For these stats they just use home users.

Is Microsoft taking a hint, that people would rather have 
something funtional like XP, instead of hysterical changes 
of the user interface and different ways of getting the 
same old work done? 
Currently the only "sales" of Windows 8/8.1 are pre-installed 
in new machines, without giving the buyer a choice. 

So, what is Microsoft doing about that? 
Is Windows 9 getting back towards XP ?
No.

It seems that they are going to drive even more people 
to Linux and Mac. They are going to have their computer
building companies in China pre-install Windows 9, 
but require the victims to visit the Microsoft online 
store to buy a license. 
I have a hunch, many will stop on the way and get a 
free Linux instead.

Currently, the only real problem with Linux is that there 
are so many different "flavors", and the fans of each getting
rather religious about THEIR chosen flavor.

In the industry we just laugh about that and use CentOS, the
free version of RedHat Linux. CentOS is the same as RedHat,
just without tech support. If you have seen pictures of big
server "farms", with a Million or more computers, that are 
just blades on racks, those all use CentOS Linux, 
not any kind of Windows.

Microsoft instead is frantically chasing the cloud. They 
want you to "lease" Microsoft Office, with the program sitting
on THEIR servers, "the cloud", instead of in your computer.
You simply pay your monthly lease for Microsoft Office, and 
your corner of a cloud to store your files. 
While that is handy if you just one-finger-poke at a thin 
phone, it is not what big-screen computer users want.

If you managed to hang on to an XP, treat it gently and
vacuum out the dust bunnies, It's that time of the year, 
when they tend to overheat. 
The same of course goes for W7 machines. Vacuum them out!
Maybe Windows 10 will be better, or maybe by then you will 
be ready for Linux or Mac?

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Drunk Alabama woman rode stolen horse to rob a store Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1878 The corncob pipe was patented by Henry Tibbe.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
You know everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
The young secretary was describing her evening's exploits to a friend. "After dinner," she said, "he wanted to come back to my apartment, but I refused. I told him my mother would worry if I did anything like that." "That was smart," her friend said, approvingly, "Then what happened?" "He kept insisting, and I kept refusing," the secretary said. "You didn't weaken your resolve did you?" asked the friend. "Not one bit. In the end, we went to his apartment. I figured, let HIS mother worry."
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>From Edna Let's just walk up the hill to the terminal, rather than wait for the bus," I suggested to my two young sons. Much to their displeasure, we began our walk. After a while, my seven-year-old son asked: "Mom, why do you always make the decisions?" "Because I'm an adult," I said. "When you become an adult, you'll make the decisions." He thought for a few seconds, then said: "No, I won't. Then I'll have a wife."
Thanks to Janina for this picture: a visiting deer - stops to "chat" with me :>)) Click on the picture for the large version Thanks for your great, humor letters each day. I'm so impressed you find the energy to send it. Wishing you good health and continued fun every day! Janina from New Jersey, USA
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Christine Saunders, 45, DeKalb County, Alabama Drunk Alabama woman rode stolen horse to rob a store An Alabama woman was arrested on Friday after police say she drunkenly stole a horse and rode it to a store to steal some merchandise. Christine Saunders, 45, was initially only hit with alcohol-related charges, but police say more charges could be on the way, according to AL.com. Authorities responded after receiving a call about an intoxicated woman causing a disturbance at a store in DeKalb County on Saturday evening. According to Sheriff Jimmy Harris, Saunders had a horse, that she was believed to be riding, tied up outside of the store. Officers recovered three cans of Keystone Light in a Walmart bag that was tied to the saddle horn. The horse was returned to its owner, who did not press charges. Saunders was charged with public intoxication and illegal possession of a prohibited beverage. Apparently, in Alabama, unopened cans of beer are not allowed in a shopping bag tied to a saddle horn. Tech Support Pits From: Mary Re: Mysterious Windows Shut-downs Dear Webby, How are you feeling after all the eye injections? I hope this finds you feeling much better. I am having a big problem and windows seem to be ignorant of why their product doesn't work right. I have a window 7 and it just closes for no apparent reason. Do you have any suggestion on how I might be able to fix it? Thank you so much for all your wonderful emails. Mary Dear Mary The next injections are due July 30. The left eye cataract operation is on July 15. Yes, Microsoft is rather clueless about that sort of thing. However, in your case, it might be simply overheating. Some computers give you a warning and reduce processor speed, others just "pull the plug", which is rather stupid, since that shuts down the fans, while heat is still migrating from the inside of components. If the mystery shut-downs happen during afternoon or evening, but not during cool mornings, then I would recommend opening the case, vacuuming the dust bunnies out and cleaning the heat sinks. The heat sinks are those high-tech looking aluminum fins. Clean those and the fans with a Q-tip dipped in window cleaner. Please let me know if that solves the problem. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Your Mattress Last Longer There are so many mattress ads on TV now and they are telling us how long we should keep our mattresses. I thought you could use a mattress for 20 years, but they are telling us 7-8. But then, I turn my mattress in the old-fashioned way - upside down and top to bottom - to rotate the wear. I let my mattresses air out the morning after we use it before we make the bed. All of this goes toward giving us more years on our mattress. By pamphyila from L.A., CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?" "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
Here is a seven year old report, timely again with the US Govt considering getting involved in Iraq again. Regardless of where you stand on the issue of the U. S. involvement in Iraq, here's a sobering statistic: There has been a monthly average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2,112 deaths. That gives a violent death rate of 60 per 100,000 soldiers. The violent death rate in Washington D. C. is 80.6 per 100,000 persons for the same period. That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot or knifed and killed in the U. S. Capital than you are in Iraq. Conclusion: The U. S. should pull out of Washington.

» Sunrise 2 Sunset

Today in 
0118 Hadrian, Rome's new emperor, made his entry into the city.
0455 Avitus, the Roman military commander in Gaul, became Emperor 
 of the West.
1540 England's King Henry VIII had his 6-month-old marriage to 
 his fourth wife, Anne of Cleves, annulled.
1609 In a letter to the crown, the emperor Rudolf II granted 
 Bohemia freedom of worship.
1790 The Swedish navy captured one third of the Russian fleet 
 at the naval battle of Svensksund in the Baltic Sea.
1808 The leather-splitting machine was patented by Samuel Parker.
1816 Argentina declared independence from Spain.
1847 A 10-hour work day was established for workers in the 
 state of New Hampshire.
1872 The doughnut cutter was patented by John F. Blondel.
1877 Alexander Graham Bell, Gardiner Greene Hubbard, Thomas 
 Sanders and Thomas Watson formed the Bell Telephone Company.
1878 The corncob pipe was patented by Henry Tibbe.
1900 The Commonwealth of Australia was established by an act 
 of the British Parliament, uniting the separate colonies 
 under a federal government.
1943 American and British forces made an amphibious landing on Sicily.
1947 The engagement of Britain's Princess Elizabeth to Lt. Philip 
 Mountbatten was announced.
1951 U.S. President Truman asked Congress to formally end the 
state of war between the United States and Germany.
1953 New York Airways began the first commuter passenger service 
 by helicopter.
1971 The United States turned over complete responsibility 
 of the Demilitarized Zone to South Vietnamese units.
1997 Mike Tyson was banned from the boxing ring and fined 
 $3 million for biting the ear of opponent Evander Holyfield.
2005 Danny Way, a daredevil skateboarder, rolled down a 
 large ramp and jumped across the Great Wall of China. He 
 was the first person to clear the wall without motorized aid.
2014  smiled.


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How to make a screen saver 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, July 8.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Wannabe Model Charged With Obscenity After She "Exposed Her Genital Area" To Louisiana Jailer Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1889 John L. Sullivan defeated Jake Kilrain, in the last championship bare-knuckle fight. The fight lasted 75 rounds.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
If everything seems under control, you're not going fast enough --- Mario Andretti (1940 - )
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying "Free to good home, You want it you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal, looks to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read "Fridge for sale $5o". The next day someone stole it.
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It was the first day of school. The previous principal had just retired and a new principal just started. As the principal made his rounds, he heard a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms. He rushed in and spotted one boy, taller than the others, who seemed to be making the most noise. He seized the lad, dragged him to the hall, and told him to wait there until he was excused. Returning to the classroom, the principal restored order and lectured the class for half an hour about the importance of good behavior. "Now," he said, "are there any questions?" One girl stood up timidly. "Please sir," she asked, "May we have our teacher back?"
Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Devon Serpa, 29, Morgan City, Louisiana Wannabe Model Charged With Obscenity After She "Exposed Her Genital Area" To Louisiana Jailer After being arrested for her role in a Louisiana shooting, the aspiring model added an obscenity charge to her docket sheet after allegedly exposing herself to a male jailer, police report. Serpa was collared Thursday afternoon in connection with a shooting last month in Morgan City, where the 29-year-old resides. No injuries were reported as a result of the June 27 incident, though two vehicles were damaged by gunshots. Upon Serpa’s incarceration, she “exposed her genital area to a male correctional officer during booking procedures and was additionally charged with Obscenity,” according to the Morgan City Police Department. She previously was charged with aggravated criminal damage to property and illegal use of a weapon. Serpa, remains locked up. Tech Support Pits From: Tammy Re: Making screen Savers Dear Webby, As I have told you many times, I love your Dad's pictures of his cacti. I would like to make them in to screen savers, but my senior mind has forgot how. Can you help me? I have learned many things from your computer tips and enjoy the letter immensely. I like the links you have on left side as they remind me to click on them & feed the poor, animals, and the breast cancer sight. You do lots of good for so many. Many thanks, Tammy Dear Tammy The easiest way to make a screensaver is this: Use the Windows File Explorer to find your "My Pictures" folder. Make a new folder inside that and call it Archive Switch the File Explorer to Thumbnail view, Click on Folders, so that it shows the folders on the left side. (This works much better in Classical mode) Drag all pictures that you don't want included in your screen saver into the "Archive" folder. Save any new pictures, that you want included, into the "My Pictures" folder. Right-click on the desktop, Properties, Appearance, Screensaver Select "My Pictures" Set the delay time, and hit OK a bunch of times. From then on you will have a slide show of the pictures in "My Pictures" as a screen saver. The reason to move all the old pictures into the Archive folder is because some of them might not be appropriate for a screensaver. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Clean Crock Pot With Denture Tablets To clean a crock pot, fill it with water. Drop two or three denture tablets in and leave overnight to soak. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. "A priest! Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd but finds no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind. "A PRIEST, PLEASE!" the dying man says again. Then out of the crowd steps a little old Jewish man of at least eighty years of age."Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic. But for fifty years now I'm living behind St. Mary's Catholic Church on Third Avenue, and every night I'm listening to the Catholic litany. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man." The policeman agrees and brings the octogenarian over to the dying man. He kneels down, leans over the injured and says in a solemn voice: "Under the B - 4. Under the I - 19. Under the N - 38. Under the G - 54. Under the O - 72." BINGO!
It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage. Jake asks her: "What are you up to?" Alice smiles: "I'm going hunting with you!" Jake, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decides to take her along. Later they arrive at the hunting site. Jake sets his wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her: "If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I'll come running back as soon as I hear the shot". Jake walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn't bag an elephant--much less a deer. Not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots. Quickly, Jake starts running back. As Jake gets closer to her stand, he hears Alice screaming: "Get away from my deer!" Confused, Jake races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell: "Get away from my deer!" followed by another volley of gunfire. Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake is surprised to see a cowboy, with his hands high in the air. The cowboy, obviously distraught, says: "Okay, lady, okay!!!! You can have your deer!!! Just let me get my saddle off it!"

» Flightless Birds

Today in 
1099 Christian soldiers on the First Crusade march trhough
 Jerusalem.
1608 The first French settlement at Quebec was established 
 by Samuel de Champlain.
1663 King Charles II of England granted a charter to 
 Rhode Island.
1693 Uniforms for police in New York City were authorized.
1709 Peter the Great defeated Charles XII at Poltava, in 
 the Ukraine, The Swedish empire was effectively ended.
1755 Britain broke off diplomatic relations with France as 
 their disputes in the New World intensified.
1794 French troops captured Brussels, Belgium.
1815 Louis XVIII returned to Paris after the defeat 
 of Napoleon.
1865 C.E. Barnes patented the machine gun.
1879 The first ship to use electric lights departed from 
 San Francisco, CA.
1881 Edward Berner, druggist in Two Rivers, WI, poured 
 chocolate syrup on ice cream in a dish. To this time 
 chocolate syrup had only been used for making ice-cream sodas.
1889 John L. Sullivan defeated Jake Kilrain, in the last 
 championship bare-knuckle fight. The fight lasted 75 rounds.
1950 General Douglas MacArthur was named commander-in-chief of 
 United Nations forces in Korea.
1960 The Soviet Union charged Gary Powers with espionage. He was 
 shot down in a U-2 spy plane.
1963 All Cuban-owned assets in the United States were frozen.
1981 The Solar Challenger became the frist solar-powered airplane 
 to cross the English Channel.
1986 Kurt Waldheim was inaugurated as president of Austria 
 despite controversy over his alleged ties to Nazi war crimes.
1997 NATO invited Poland, Hungary, and the Czech Republic to 
 join the alliance in 1999.
2010 The Solar Impulse completed the first 24-hour flight by 
a solar powered plane. 
2014  smiled.


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How to set Picasa as default 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, July 7.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Meth Smoker Arrested For Carpet Munching Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1846 U.S. annexation of California was proclaimed at Monterey after the surrender of a Mexican garrison.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
People with courage and character always seem sinister to the rest. --- Hermann Hesse If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself. --- Mickey Mantle (1931 - 1995)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their pastor to stand with them. As the pastor stood next to the bed, Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The pastor thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket. Several days later, at the funeral, as the pastor was finishing the eulogy, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Fred had died. He said, "you know, ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all. I will let his wife read the note to us!" She opened the note, and read aloud, "Get lost you blathering idiot. You're standing on my oxygen tube!"
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Just as John got in the door, after staying at the bar a bit too long, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. He realized his wife would probably wake up, so he cuckooed another 9 times. He was really proud of himself, having a quick witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict. Next morning the wife asked him what time he got in and he told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one! She then told him that they needed a new cuckoo clock. When he asked her why, she said "Well, it cuckooed 3 times, said 'Oh, f@#%,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, snickered, and finally cuckooed twice more, and then it farted."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jeffrey Wagner, 50, Louisville, Ky. Meth Smoker Arrested For Carpet Munching Police in Louisville, Ky. say that 50-year-old Jeffrey Wagner admitted to smoking crystal meth before going into a Burlington Coat Factory store and having a veritable feast, WLKY reported. Store employees told police they found Wagner in the shoe section chowing down on carpet lint. He allegedly said he was "eating sparkles," WHAS 11 reported. Police arrived at the scene, and say Wagner was carrying Lortabs, a bag of crystal meth, a bag of mysterious white powder and a bag of unidentified pills. He was charged with possession of a controlled substance and public intoxication. Tech Support Pits From: Joyce Re: Choice of picture viewer Dear Webby, Whenever someone sends me a picture attachment, the Windows picture viewer pops up with the attachment. How can I change it so that my Picasa shows the picture instead of the Windows picture viewer? Is it even possible to change it to something other than that? Thanks and have a great weekend! Sincerely, Joyce Dear Joyce Go to MyComputer Tools Folder Options DON'T do what Microsoft says. They are a bit confused about it. Instead click on File Types After a while, it will fill it's window with all the file types and shows what programs are associated with them. Find JPG, and change it's file association to Picasa then do the same for GIF and PNG. When done, hit OK until you are out of all that. Picasa may be going out of fashion, however, the same trick also works for PaintShopPro, Photoshop, GIMP,and many other graphics programs. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Foreman Grill For Cooking Salmon Use your George Foreman grill, and it only takes 5 minutes (or less if the salmon is thinner). I season with a little garlic, onion powder, and some lemon pepper - delicious! By Jana from Eden, NC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The company next door was encountering so many errors, they are now seriously considering buying a computer to blame them on.
A woman was looking for a used car to buy and saw an ad in the classifieds. It read: Brand new 2014 Mercedes Benz, slate blue, loaded, etc. Sell for $150.00. She was astonished and decided to call the seller and check it out. The woman selling the car was glad to show it to her and, to her surprise, the car was in perfect condition. She asked the woman, "What's the catch? Why are you selling this car so cheaply?" "Well," she said, "it's my husband's car actually, and he recently ran off with his young secretary. I got a telegram from him last week that read: 'In Miami. Need bail money. Sell car'."

» Silly Putty

Today in 
1754 Kings College opened in New York City. It was renamed 
 Columbia College 30 years later.
1846 U.S. annexation of California was proclaimed at Monterey 
 after the surrender of a Mexican garrison.
1862 The first railroad post office was tested on the Hannibal 
 and St. Joseph Railroad in Missouri.
1885 G. Moore Peters patented the cartridge-loading machine.
1920 A device known as the radio compass was used for the 
 first time on a U.S. Navy airplane near Norfolk, VA.
1930 Construction began on Boulder Dam, later Hoover Dam, 
 on the Colorado River.
1937 Japanese forces invaded China.
1946 Mother Frances Xavier Cabrini was canonized as the 
 first American saint.
1950 The U.N. Security Council authorized military aid 
 for South Korea.
1969 Canada's House of Commons gave final approval to a 
 measure that made the French language equal to English 
 throughout the national government.
1981 U.S. President Reagan announced he was nominating 
 Arizona Judge Sandra Day O'Connor to become the first 
 female justice on the U.S. Supreme Court.
1983 Eleven-year-old Samantha Smith of Manchester, Maine, 
 left for a visit to the Soviet Union at the personal 
 invitation of Soviet leader Yuri V. Andropov.
1998 A jury in Santa Monica, CA, convicted Mikail Markhasev 
 of murdering Ennis Cosby, Bill Cosby's only son, during a 
 roadside robbery.
2000 Cisco Systems Inc. announced that it would buy Netiverse 
 Inc. for $210 million in stock. It was the 13th time Cisco 
 had purchased a company in 2000.
2000 Amazon.com announced that they had sold almost 400,000 
 copies of "Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire," making it 
 the biggest selling book in e-tailing history.
2014  smiled.


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Kudos for Malwarebytes 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, July 6.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man charged with hit-and-run that killed 3 women Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1923 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was established.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Feed a fever, starve a cold. Lightly sup with rickets. --- Takayuki Ikkaku, Arisa Hosaka and Toshihiro Kawabata,
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
Tom had proposed to young Maureen and was being interviewed by his prospective father-in-law. "Do you think you are earning enough to support a family?" the older man asked the suitor. "Yes, sir", replied Tom, "I'm sure I am." "Think carefully now," said Maureen's father warningly. "There are twelve of us."
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Ancient Classic: Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience He asks if anyone would like him to play a request. A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a Jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!" Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz influences in Stevie's varied career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes. When he finishes the whole place goes wild. The little old man jumps up again and shouts "No, no, play a Jazz chord, play a Jazz chord". A bit peeved by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dives straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the B-flat minor chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes wild with this impromptu show of his technical expertise. The little old man jumps up again. "No, no. Play a Jazz chord, play a jazz chord". Well and truly peeved that this little guy doesn't seem to appreciate his playing ability. Stevie says to him from the stage "OK smart alek, You get up here and do it!" The little old man climbs up onto the stage, takes hold of the mike and starts to sing: "A jazz chord to say I ruv you..."
Thanks to Nanarina for this one Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Marquice Lamonz Anderson, 27, St. Petersburg, Florida Florida man charged with hit-and-run that killed 3 women Police in Florida are searching for a man suspected of driving a vehicle involved in a fiery hit-and-run crash that killed three Tampa Bay-area women. St. Petersburg Police spokesman Mike Puetz said Saturday that 27-year-old Marquice Lamonz Anderson is being sought on warrants that include charges of vehicular homicide, leaving the scene of an accident involving death, driving on a suspended license and violation of probation. Authorities say Anderson was driving a four-door Chrysler 200 the wrong way down a street early Thursday morning when it crashed into a Saturn vehicle with three female occupants. Two of the women — 23-year-old Briana Lequinda Campbell and 21-year-old Jamesia Chera Santoria Lang — remained in the burning car and were pronounced dead at the scene. A third, 25-year-old Grace Lashawn Collie, died at a Tampa hospital Friday. Anderson has numerous past arrests on drug-related charges and was on probation at the time of the accident. they believe he is hiding and knows officers are looking for him. A cash reward is being offered for information that leads to his arrest. Tech Support Pits From: C.B. Re: Malwarebytes Kudos Dear Webby: Thank you so much for your help with my problem concerning the Fake McAfee Trojan and the Iyogi Group that tried to swindle me out of $199.00...I have deleted all their programs that they installed on my computer and then called my credit card company to ask them to remove the disputed charges (the credit card company will conduct their own investigation). I purchased the MalwareBytes Anti-malware and it seems to be doing its job....no more "fake Trojan" warnings, etc. Thank you so much for advising me about this great program and any computer I have in the future will always have this program. I hope you had a Happy and safe 4th of July! now....... on with the rest of the year!! C. B. Dear C.B. Thanks for telling us about your success! Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Dryer Lint Firestarter I use dryer lint in a cardboard egg carton and drizzle old candle wax from scented candles that have lost their fragrance. It works best from the jar candles on a candle warmer. Once it has cooled, I cut the sections of egg cradles to separate and put in a ziplock to keep dry. Just light the corner of the cardboard when placed under your tinder. Works great for charcoal BBQ's too! Source: I combined several tips. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Connie for this: Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS . . . I'm sorry. . .what did you ask me?
A young and arrogant pilot wanted to "show off" on the aviation frequencies as he was approaching an airfield during the night. So, he disregarded policy and, instead of making an official request to the tower, he said, "Guess who?" The air traffic controller switched the field lights off and replied, "Guess where?"

» Storm Facts

Today in 
1483 King Richard III of England was crowned.
1699 Captain William Kidd, the pirate, was captured in 
 Boston, MA, and deported back to England.
1777 British forces captured Fort Ticonderoga during the 
 American Revolution.
1858 Lyman Blake patented the shoe manufacturing machine.
1885 Louis Pasteur successfully tested his anti-rabies 
 vaccine. The child used in the test later became the 
 director of the Pasteur Institute.
1905 Fingerprints were exchanged for the first time between 
 officials in Europe and the U.S. The person in question 
 was John Walker.
1917 During World War I, Arab forces led by T.E. Lawrence 
 captured the port of Aqaba from the Turks.
1919 A British dirigible landed in New York at Roosevelt 
 Field. It completed the first crossing of the Atlantic Ocean 
 by an airship.
1923 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was established.
1942 Diarist Anne Frank and her family took refuge from the 
 Nazis in Amsterdam.
1967 The Biafran War erupted. The war lasted two-and-a-half 
 years. About 600,000 people died.
1981 Former President of Argentina Isabel Peron was freed 
 after five years of house arrest by a federal court.
1981 The Dupont Company announced an agreement to purchase 
 Conoco, Inc. (Continental Oil Co.) for $7 billion. At the 
 time it was the largest merger in corporate history.
1988 Several popular beaches were closed in New York City 
 due to medical waste and other debris began washing up on 
 the seashores.
1989 The U.S. Army destroyed its last Pershing 1-A missiles 
 at an ammunition plant in Karnack, TX. The dismantling was 
 under the terms of the 1987 Intermediate-range Nuclear 
 Forces Treaty.
1997 The Mars Pathfinder released Sojourner, a robot rover on 
 the surface of Mars. The spacecraft landed on the red planet 
 on July 4th.
1998 Protestants rioted in many parts of Northern Ireland 
 after British authorities blocked an Orange Order march 
 in Portadown.
2000 A jury awarded former NHL player Tony Twist $24 million 
 for the unauthorized use of his name in the comic book 
 Spawn and the HBO cartoon series. Co-defendant HBO settled 
 with Twist out of court for an undisclosed amount. 
2014  smiled.


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Session Restore 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, July 5.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man charged with making meth on beach Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1946 The bikini bathing suit, created by Louis Reard, made its debut during a fashion show at the Molitor Pool in Paris. Micheline Bernardini wore the two-piece outfit.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
One of the indictments of civilizations is that happiness and intelligence are so rarely found in the same person. --- William Feather (1908 - 1976)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
>From Roland A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the 2nd mom, Ann and said, "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turned to the 3rd mom, Joyce. "Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the 4th mother, Mrs Smith, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand, and whispered, "Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner for Rolly."
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The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning. "I'm sorry," she said, "Mr. Bradford's on another line." "This is Mr. Ingram's office," the caller said. "We'd like to know if he's bullish or bearish right now." "He's talking to his wife," the secretary replied. "Right now I'd say he's sheepish."
Thanks to Nanarina for this one Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Charles Tapp, 24, Florida man charged with making meth on beach Charles J. Tapp is accused of making methamphetamine in his car at a Florida beach. The beach is a place for surf, sun and sand -- not meth making. However, a man in St. Petersburg, Florida, is facing drug charges after allegedly cooking up methamphetamine in his truck at Gandy Beach. Charles J. Tapp, 24, was arrested June 14 after deputies in Pinellas County noticed a dark colored Chevy Silverado parked along the beach's tree line. Tapp was in the truck as were several needles. An investigation of the vehicle turned up other items that indicated the suspect was making meth in it, WTSP TV reports. Tapp was arrested on charges of possessing methamphetamine and unlawful possession of pseudoephedrine and hydrochloric gas, chemicals used to make methamphetamine. Police said that Tapp admitted to manufacturing meth during questioning, according to the Tampa Bay Times. He was taken to the Pinellas County jail, and later released on $10,000 bail, according to the jail's website. Tech Support Pits From: Len Re: Make FF restore old sessions Good morning Webby Yesterday, you mentioned that any good browser will open up with all 127 tabs that were open when it was last closed. Firefox used to do that on my computer but stopped doing so several months ago, before the big upgrade. Is there something I can do to change that back? Thanks for all you do Len Dear Len The only real reason to turn that off is when many people use the same machine, and you don't want to let any of the others restore YOUR sessions. Any other time, it is best to leave Sessionrestore turned on. In the address bar, type in: about:config and hit Enter. You'll get a warning, ignore that. Now, find "browser.sessionstore.resume_from_crash" in the list. Double-click that entry, and turn it to true OK out of there and it is done. There may be some weird exception, where some Windows setting will interfere with Sessionrestore, but so far I have not found anything about that setting. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Dry Erase Marker from Clothes I let my little grandson scribble with a dry erase marker and he got it all over his shirt. I was really surprised that it would be so difficult to get out. I tried all the tips listed, except for the ink remover. Alcohol did nothing, Goof-off did nothing. Murphy's Oil Soap finally began to budge the color. Then I remembered my Spot Shot carpet cleaner. That took it right out. Now, was it a combination of everything that went before or just the Spot Shot I am not sure. I am so grateful something works. By easytoremember [1] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A newspaper reporter for the Los Angeles Times had received instructions from his senior editor to get photographs of a brush fire in the foothills of northern California. The instructions included hurrying to the Santa Monica Airport to board a small plane, taking some photos of the fire, and hurrying back by noon with the story. The reporter dressed quickly, rushed to the airport, saw the small plane waiting on the runway, drove his car to the end of the runway, parked, and climbed on board. Off they flew into the clear blue skies. At about 5,000 feet, the reporter took out his camera and said to the man flying the plane, "Bank right and I'll take some pictures of this fire." Then he heard the most frightening questions of his life, "Bank right? How do I do that? You ARE the instructor, aren't you?"
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside-down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!" "So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

» Iconic Food Maps

Today in 
1806 A Spanish army repelled the British during their 
 attempt to retake Buenos Aires, Argentina.
1811 Venezuela became the first South American country 
 to declare independence from Spain.
1814 U.S. troops under Jacob Brown defeated a superior 
 British force at Chippewa, Canada.
1830 France occupied the North African city of Algiers.
1832 The German government began curtailing freedom of 
 the press after German Democrats advocated a revolt 
 against Austrian rule.
1839 British naval forces bombarded Dingai on Zhoushan 
 Island in China and then occupied it.
1863 U.S. Federal troops occupied Vicksburg, MS, and 
 distributed supplies to the citizens.
1892 Andrew Beard was issued a patent for the rotary engine.
1935 U.S. President Roosevelt signed the National Labor 
 Relations Act into law. The act authorized labor to organize 
 for the purpose of collective bargaining.
1940 During World War II, Britain and the Vichy government 
 in France broke diplomatic relations.
1941 German troops reached the Dnieper River in the Soviet Union.
1943 The battle of Kursk began as German tanks attacked 
 the Soviet salient. It was the largest tank battle in history.
1946 The bikini bathing suit, created by Louis Reard, made 
 its debut during a fashion show at the Molitor Pool in 
 Paris. Micheline Bernardini wore the two-piece outfit.
1948 Britain's National Health Service Act went into effect, 
 providing government-financed medical and dental care.
1950 U.S. forces engaged the North Koreans for the first 
 time at Osan, South Korea.
1951 Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented 
 the junction transistor.
1962 Algeria became independent after 132 years of French rule.
1984 The U.S. Supreme Court weakened the 70-year-old 
 "exclusionary rule," deciding that evidence seized with 
 defective court warrants could be used against defendants 
 in criminal trials.
1989 Former U.S. National Security Council aide Oliver North 
 received a $150,000 fine and a suspended prison term for 
 his part in the Iran-Contra affair. The convictions were 
 later overturned.
1991 Regulators shut down the Pakistani-managed Bank of 
 Credit and Commerce International (BCCI) in eight 
 countries. The charge was fraud, drug money laundering 
 and illegal infiltration into the U.S. banking system.
1998 Japan joined U.S. and Russia in space exploration 
 with the launching of the Planet-B probe to Mars.
2000 Jordanian security agents shot and killed a Syrian 
 hijacker after he threw a grenade that exploded and 
 wounded 15 passengers aboard a Royal Jordanian airliner.
2000 Euan Blair, the oldest son of British prime minister 
Tony Blair, was arrested after police found him drunk 
 and lying on the ground in London's Leicester Square. 
2014  smiled.


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Fake McAfee pop-ups 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, July 4.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


If you are in the USA, Happy Independence Day!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Utah woman, who tried to buy meth from cop as a birthday gift for her sister Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2009 The Statue of Liberty's crown reopened to visitors. It had been closed to the public since 2001.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm. --- John F. Kennedy (1917 - 1963)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
Out canvassing for a charity, my friend Irene and I knocked at a door. It was opened by a huge bear of a man, who was wearing a large black bra, over his shirt. Irene, being a devout Catholic, crossed herself, backed up ready to make a fast retreat. I asked politely for a donation, trying to keep my eyes from wandering to his protruding undergarment. He grinned evilly at me, "Wanna feel em?" Horrified, I turned to leave, when one side of his bra came alive with motion. Irene was now crossing herself with a flurry, muttering, "Jaysus, Mary and Murphy." She was begging the saints to protect her, when a tiny tail flipped out of his bra. "Oh my sweet Lord," she squealed, "He's got rats in his boobs," bolted for the car, offering up 'Hail Mary's.' as she tore off the porch. An old lady came out of the house, glared at the man, who just grinned back. He put his hands up to cradle both cups, which were now writhing with movement. She turned to me asking, "Did he ask you to play with them?" "Yes", I gulped. "Well," she said, patting my hand, " He's not too bright, but it's not what you think." She ordered him to pull his bra out so I could peek inside. Hesitantly I watched, while he pulled the garment down. When I got a good look I burst out laughing. Tiny muzzles with whiskers, long sinuous bodies, small heads with bright beady eyes, stared back at me. "Their mama died," he explained, " This bra is the perfect place to keep them warm." Both cups were filled to the brim with tiny baby ferrets.
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An instructor was sitting in his office one afternoon when an attractive, sexy-looking lady knocked on his door. "Yes?", he replied, "how may I help you?" The lady said, "I need to talk to you about my grade in your class." "Come in and have a seat," said the instructor. "Is there anything I can do to get an "A" in your class?" "What do you mean by *anything*?" he replied. She said, "Anything!" "Anything??" She said, in her best sultry voice, "I mean ANYTHING." The instructor got up from behind his desk, sat down beside her and whispered in her ear, "Would you ... .... study?"
Thanks to Nanarina for this one Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Heather Rodriguez, 46, Provo, Utah Woman tried to buy meth from cop as birthday gift for her sister Police in Provo, Utah, have arrested a 46-year-old woman accused of attempting to buy methamphetamine from an off-duty police officer and claiming the purchase was a birthday gift for her sister. A police report shows Heather Rodriguez was arrested Monday evening after she approached the off-duty officer and displayed a glass pipe. Authorities say she then told police she was trying to buy methamphetamine for her sister's birthday. Records say she also told police the pipe was not hers and she was holding it for a friend. The Daily Herald reports Rodriguez was arrested and booked into the Utah County Jail on several drug charges. They did not state wheter she always looks like she had been left on the back of a pick-up too long, or if she tried that hairdo on purpose. Tech Support Pits From: CB Re: Fake McAfee virus Dear Webby: I have had a lot of computer issues lately which started with a popup message from McAfee that said I had a Trojan on my computer.. I could not get the pop up window to go away so I googled a help number for McAfee Anti-Virus plus and found an 800 number. I called it and "assumed" I was talking to McAfee Technical support...to make a long story short, I was actually connected with a company named IYOGI and they told me they could fix all my problems with their program- IYOGI Support Dock- $169.99 and a program called Total Defense- $29.99. Our of sheer frustration I agreed to this and they immediately charged my credit card. They did however, that evening, after 4 hours on the phone with them, and they had remote control of my computer, seem to fix the problem. The next day more troubles....................temp files, many of them, all over my desktop. I restarted the computer hoping that this would get rid of all the temp file but when I did, all I got was a blue screen saying Windows was configuring my computer..Do Not Turn your computer OFF. It froze at 35% and nothing else happened. I called the IYOGI people back because they had promised for the money I paid them, they would be available anytime I had computer problems. After another lengthy session on the phone with them, and they again had remote control of my computer, they advised I URGENTLY need to upgrade to Windows 8 instead of the Windows 7 Home Premium that I have and they tried to sell me Windows 8 for $170.00. I told them no thanks and they said that my Windows 7 Home Premium is what is causing all the problems and that the program is obsolete. I guess I have been duped by these people and I am embarrassed with myself that I didn't have the good sense to tell them no thanks, when I found out they were not McAfee. When you Google "McAfee Anti-Virus Plus" support help, their 800 number comes up. Is that even legal? I don't know what the future is for my computer... is there any truth to what they said...that I should get Windows 8 installed on my computer? Webby, thanks so much for any insight you can give me regarding this. I so appreciate your newsletter, and you!! C. B. Dear CB Sounds like you have been conned. Call your credit card company, report the crooks and cancel the charges. Those pop-ups are not from McAfee, but from the crooks. The same with the redirection of your browser to the fake McAfee site. As I have mentioned on this topic before, you need Malwarebytes to get rid of that Fake Mcafee Trojan. Both the fake and the REAL McAfee are scared of Malwarebytes. That is like both crooks and victims pissing themselves, when they see ROBO-COP. Ignore their hysterical warnings abut Malwarebytes interfering with their stuff. Go ahead and let Malwarebytes clean up the mess. IYOGI may have damaged your Windows7, but you or a local computer fixer can safely re-install Windows7 with a minimum of fuss or cost, AFTER you have made it safe with Malwarebytes. You do NOT need W8. It is even worse than W7 for you anyway. The REAL McAfee has nothing to do with your problem, and calling them is a waste of time. Proof, that the real Mcafee DOES need Malwarebytes on the side, to protect it from the fake one, is that the real McAfee was NOT able to stop the fake McAfee from infecting your machine. Mosquito mesh keeps out the bugs, but bears walk right through it. McAfee is OK for simple, every-day nuisances, but you do need Malwarebytes to protect the real Mcafee from the fake Mcafee and similar really dangerous stuff. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Glowsticks Instead Of Fireworks For The Fourth Of July We camp on the 4th of July in an area where fireworks are not allowed so we came up with this idea. Buy red, white and blue, (or whatever colors you choose) glowsticks, necklaces, etc. at your local 99 cent store. On the 4th, snap your glow sticks and play games of throwing them back and forth, or have contests to see how high someone can throw them in the air. We get creative every year we play with glowsticks on the 4th. It's so fun. By Marianne from Sacramento, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Usually the secretary at my son's school answers when I call, but on this occasion I spoke to an unfamiliar voice. I men- tioned this to my 11-year-old son and asked if he knew who it was. "It could have been Mrs. Campbell," he answered after thinking it over. "Did it sound like she was a stuffed shirt wearing a blue jacket?"
When the wise company president learned that his employees were tanking up on no-trace vodka martinis during their lunch hours, he issued the following memo: To all employees; If you must drink during your lunch hour, please drink whiskey. It is better for our customers to know you're drunk than to think you're stupid.

» Well Stocked Kitchen

Today in 
1776 The amended Declaration of Independence, prepared by 
 Thomas Jefferson, was approved and signed by John Hancock, 
 the President of the Continental Congress in America.
1802 The U.S. Military Academy officially opened at West 
 Point, NY.
1803 The Louisiana Purchase was announced in newspapers. The 
 property was purchased, by the U.S. from France, was for 
 $15 million (or 3 cents an acre). The "Corps of Discovery," 
 led by Meriwether Lewis and William Clark, began the 
 exploration of the territory on May 14, 1804.
1817 Construction began on the Erie Canal, to connect Lake 
 Erie and the Hudson River.
1845 American writer Henry David Thoreau began his two-year 
 experiment in simple living at Walden Pond, near Concord, MA.
1884 Bullfighting was introduced in the U.S. in Dodge City, KS.
1886 The first rodeo in USA was held at Prescott, AZ.
1892 The first double-decked street car service was inaugurated 
 in San Diego, CA.
1894 After seizing power, Judge Stanford B. Dole declared Hawaii 
 a republic.
1901 William H. Taft became the American governor of the 
 Philippines.
1910 Race riots broke out all over the United States after 
 African-American Jack Johnson knocked out Jim Jeffries in 
 a heavyweight boxing match.
1934 Boxer Joe Louis won his first professional fight.
1934 At Mount Rushmore, George Washington's face was dedicated.
1946 The Philippines achieved full independence for the first 
 time in over four hundred years.
1955 The first king cobra snakes born in captivity in the 
 U.S. hatched at the Bronx Zoo in New York City.
1960 The 50-star U.S. flag made its debut in Philadelphia, PA.
1966 U.S. President Johnson signed the Freedom of Information 
 Act, which went into effect the following year.
1976 The U.S. celebrated its Bicentennial.
1987 Klaus Barbie, the former Gestapo chief known as the 
 "Butcher of Lyon," was convicted by a French court of 
 crimes against humanity and sentenced to life in prison.
1997 The Mars Pathfinder, an unmanned spacecraft, landed 
 on Mars. A rover named Sojourner was deployed to gather 
 data about the surface of the planet.
1997 Ferry service between Manhattan and Staten Island was 
 made free of charge. Previously, the charge had ranged 
 from 5 cents to 50 cents.
2004 In New York, the cornerstone of the Freedom Tower was 
 laid on the former World Trade Center site.
2005 NASA's Deep Impact spacecraft took pictures as a space 
 probe smashed into the Tempel 1 comet. The mission was 
 aimed at learning more about comets that formed from the 
 leftover buidling blocks of the solar system. The Deep 
 Impact mission launched on January 12, 2005.
2009 North Korea launched seven ballistic missiles into 
 waters off its east coast that defied U.N. resolutions.
2009 The Statue of Liberty's crown reopened to visitors. 
 It had been closed to the public since 2001.
2014  smiled.


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Shut down W7 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, July 3.

Ezinefinder is working again!
You can finally vote again!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Spurned floriduh woman, who pulled knife on man Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1981 The Associated Press ran its first story about two rare illnesses afflicting homosexual men. One of the diseases was later named AIDS.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers. --- William James (1842 - 1910)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
>From Donny We are advised to NOT judge ALL Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics, but we are told to judge ALL gun owners by the actions of a few lunatics. Funny how that works.
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>From Mary My 20th high school class reunion was held at a hotel on the same night that another school's 10th-year reunion was taking place. While my girl friends and I were in the rest room talking, some unfamiliar women entered. After their stares became uncomfortable, we turned toward them. One of the women said, "Don't mind us. We just wanted to see how we'd look in another 10 years."
Thanks to Nanarina for this one Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Elizabeth Highley,56, Floriduh Spurned Woman Pulled Knife On Man A 56-year-old Florida woman is facing an assault rap after allegedly threatening a 25-year-old man with a knife after he “rejected her sexual advances,” police report. Elizabeth Highley (seen above) is scheduled to be arraigned July 11 on the felony charge, for which she is free on $3500 bail. According to an arrest affidavit, Elizabeth Highley was entertaining victim Crue Finley in her Jensen Beach home when trouble began around midnight on June 16. Finley told St. Lucie County Sheriff’s Office deputies that he and Highley “are not a couple.” Finley, investigators reported, said that Elizabeth Highley “wanted to have sex,“ but he “rejected her sexual advances causing her to become angry and violent.” Elizabeth Highley allegedly grabbed a knife and sliced Finley’s left thumb as he fled her Windmill Village home. Cops subsequently encountered Elizabeth Highley as she ran after Finley, who is pictured below in an unrelated mug shot. Elizabeth Highley, carrying a large knife and a broken wooden cane, complied with Officer Paul Hutchinson’s order to drop the weapons and lie down on the ground. Elizabeth Highley, the cop noted, was “angry, crying and appeared to be intogschiggated” when taken into custody. She was released later in the day after posting bail on the aggravated assault count. Tech Support Pits From: Donny Re: Shut down W7 Dear Webby Thank You ! Webpages have been freezing a lot lately and I Never shut down completely. Guess I should (once a week ?) Donny Dear Donny Hit CTRL SHIFT ESC That will bring up the task manager. Sort by the MEMOry column. If your browser is at the top, and shows a high number, highlight it, and hit END PROCESS in the bottom right corner. It will ask you if that is the program you want to shut down. Hit OK, and your browser is off. Just restart the browser after that. The good browsers will let you return to the 127 open tabs, which you had open in order to bung it up. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Getting Rid of Ants Without Poison I have had great success this year with using cinnamon on my kitchen counter and windowsill to keep the sugar ants at bay. So when I found ants congregating near my garage wall, I knew just what to do. We had recently moved a fridge and there was some leftover gunk underneath that the ants found. There were hundreds of them feasting. I went and grabbed my Costco sized spice bottle and then covered them with a heavy coating of cinnamon. Immediately, the ants scatter. They do not like the cinnamon at all. Within a few minutes, they were gone. I'll reapply cinnamon if I see any places where the ants are still getting through. It is non-toxic and frugal. By Jess [112] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Sandie for this story: A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she collapses from a heart attack! 'Help me dear,' she groans to her husband. The husband dials 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt. His wife raises her head off the gr! een and stares at him. 'I'm dying over here and you're putting?' 'Don't worry dear', says the husband calmly. 'they found a doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you'. 'Well how long will it take for him to get here', she asks feebly?! 'No time at all', says her husband, practicing his putting stroke. Everybody's already agreed to let him play through'!
KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO.. Alabama Hell Yeah, We Have Electricity. Alaska 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong! Arizona Yeah, But It's A Dry Heat. Arkansas Lituracy Ain't Everythang. California By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda. Colorado If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother. Connecticut Like Massachusetts , only smaller Delaware We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water. Florida Ask Us About Our Grandkids And Our Voting Skills. Georgia We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism. Hawaii Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money) Idaho More Than Just Potatoes... Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good Illinois Please, Don't Pronounce the "S" Indiana 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free Iowa We Do Amazing Things With Corn Kansas First Of The Rectangle States Kentucky Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names Louisiana We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign. Maine We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster Maryland If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It Massachusetts Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden 's And Our Senators Are More Corrupt! Michigan First Line Of Defense Against The Canadians Minnesota 10,000 Lakes... And 10 Zillion Mosquitoes Mississippi Come visit And Feel Better About Your Own State Missouri Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work Montana Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Honest Elections! Nebraska Ask About Our State Motto Contest Nevada Hookers and Poker! New Hampshire Go Away And Leave Us Alone New Jersey You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Your ##$%##! Motto Right here! New Mexico Lizards Make Excellent Pets New York You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney... And No Right To Self Defense! North Carolina Tobacco Is A Vegetable North Dakota We Really Are One Of The 50 States! Ohio At Least We're Not Michigan Oklahoma Like The Play, But No Singing Oregon Spotted Owl.. It's What's For Dinner Pennsylvania Cook With Coal Rhode Island We're Not REALLY An Island South Carolina Remember The Civil War? Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet South Dakota Closer Than North Dakota Tennessee Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum Texas Se Hable Ingles Utah Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus Vermont Too liberal for the Kennedy's Virginia Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjawed Yokels Don't Mix? Washington Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor! West Virginia One Big Happy Family...Really! Wisconsin Come Cut the Cheese! Wyoming Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared Home of Brokeback Mtn. The District of Columbia The Work-Free Drug Place !

» Last Post bout Horses

Today in 
1608 The city of Quebec was founded by Samuel de Champlain.
1775 U.S. Gen. George Washington took command of the 
 Continental Army at Cambridge, MA.
1790 In Paris, the marquis of Condorcet proposed granting 
 civil rights to women.
1844 Ambassador Caleb Cushing successfully negotiated a 
 commercial treaty with China that opened five Chinese ports 
 to U.S. merchants and protected the rights of American 
 citizens in China.
1863 The U.S. Civil War Battle of Gettysburg, PA, ended 
 after three days. It was a major victory for the North 
 as Confederate troops retreated.
1871 The Denver and Rio Grande Western Railroad Company 
 introduced the first narrow-gauge locomotive. It was 
 called the "Montezuma."
1878 John Wise flew the first American dirigible in 
 Lancaster, PA.
1898 During the Spanish American War, a fleet of Spanish 
 ships in Cuba's Santiago Harbor attempted to run a 
 blockade of U.S. naval forces. Nearly all of the Spanish 
 ships were destroyed in the battle that followed.
1903 The first cable across the Pacific Ocean was spliced 
 between Honolulu, Midway, Guam and Manila.
1939 Chic Young’s comic strip character, "Blondie" was first 
 heard on CBS radio.
1940 Bud Abbott and Lou Costello debuted on NBC radio.
1944 The U.S. First Army opened a general offensive to 
 break out of the hedgerow area of Normandy, France.
1944 During World War II, Soviet forces recaptured Minsk.
1945 U.S. troops landed at Balikpapan and take Sepinggan 
 airfield on Borneo in the Pacific.
1945 The first civilian passenger car built since February 
 1942 was driven off the assembly line at the Ford Motor 
 Company plant in Detroit, MI. Production had been diverted 
 due to World War II.
1950 U.S. carrier-based planes attacked airfields in the 
 Pyongyang-Chinnampo area of North Korea in the first 
 air-strike of the Korean War.
1954 Food rationing ended in Great Britain almost nine years 
 after the end of World War II.
1974 The Threshold Test Ban Treaty was signed, prohibiting 
 underground nuclear weapons tests with yields greater than 
 150 kilotons.
1981 The Associated Press ran its first story about two rare 
 illnesses afflicting homosexual men. One of the diseases 
 was later named AIDS.
1986 U.S. President Reagan presided over a ceremony in 
 New York Harbor that saw the relighting of the renovated 
 Statue of Liberty.
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush formally inaugurated 
 the Mount Rushmore National Memorial in South Dakota. 
 National Memorial in South Dakota. 
2014  smiled.


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How often should you shut down Windows 7? 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, July 2.

Ezinefinder is working again!
You can finally vote again!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Giggling woman busted for crashing truck, twice, and eating her pot in cop car Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter reinstated draft registration for males 18 years of age.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. --- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8 WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7 IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8
Fix, Clean & Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs

Style and fashion intrude into all walks of our lives. Two fellows who had been rivals all their lives followed different career paths. One eventually became an Admiral in the Navy, the other went into the Catholic Church and became a Bishop. As fate would have it, they happened to meet at the Airport. The Bishop spied the Admiral first and said loudly, "Oh Porter, from what gate is the flight to Dallas leaving?" The Admiral approached, bowed, and said "Gate 7 Madame, but should you be traveling in your condition ?"
Thanks to Nanarina for this one Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tavish Smith, Giggling woman busted for crashing truck, twice, and eating her pot in cop car cops say a Florida woman with a case of the giggles crashed her car and then tried to eat her stash of pot in the back of a squad car. Tavish Smith, 45, was pulled over June 13 on suspicion of DUI along U.S. 1 in Brevard County, Florida, after she allegedly crashed her truck, drove the wrong way on U.S. 1, then crashed again. The arresting officer put her in the back of his cruiser while he searched her truck. He allegedly found a small sandwich bag of marijuana in the vehicle, according to the New York Daily News. A surveillance video taken inside the squad car shows a woman identified as Smith denying the marijuana is hers. The suspect appears to wiggle out of her handcuffs, reach into the front seat of the cop car, and grab the pot-filled sandwich bag, according to police. Then she allegedly started to eat the cannabis, Local10.com reports. It was when she tried to slip back into her handcuffs that she was busted. "Do you have your handcuffs in front already?" The trooper asked in the video. "Did you slip out?" Smith said no. "I could have sworn I just saw you scratch your nose," the trooper said. "Oh yeah I did," Smith said. "Stay in your handcuffs please," the trooper said. "I hope that's not why this marijuana bag was open over here. Bags of weed just don't go missing inside a police car." Smith's alleged marijuana munching bumped what were misdemeanor charges up to a felony, according to WTSP TV. Smith has been released on bail, but she has been suspended from her job as an employee for a Brevard County judge, HLN TV reports. Tech Support Pits From: Marilee Re: How often should I shut down W7 Dear Webby W7 is such a tedious klutz about starting up, and some people tell me to just leave it running, sooner or later it will crash on it's own. What is YOUR opinion on that? Marilee Dear Marilee I fondly remember a Marilee from the days before computers. Leave the modem running, but shut windows down, if you are not going to use it for two or more hours. Yes, I know, unlike UNIX or Linux, Windows is not starting very gracefully, and takes a lot of time. However, you will notice that it runs a bit faster with a daily shut-down than with a monthly one. Just go make a fresh pot of coffee while it starts up. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Getting Library Books Back On Time >From Brent My boss wanted a "Clean Desk" policy, so he sent a memo saying that any paperwork left on desks would be removed at night and we would have to fill out a form to get it back. So we left all our trash paper on our desks every night. In a week, the boss had an office full of trash, nobody filled out a retrieval form, and we never heard about the policy again. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Morris for this story: One day, while driving with my then 5 year old daughter Melanie, I beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at me as if she was demanding an explanation. I said, "I did that by accident..." She replied, "I know that....'cause you didn't scream 'A********!' after beeping!"
From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island, shouting and desperately waving his hands. "Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain. "I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts."

» Last Post bout Horses

Today in 
1298 An army under Albert of Austria defeated and killed 
 Adolf of Nassua near Worms, Germany.
1625 The Spanish army took Breda, Spain, after nearly a 
 year of siege.
1644 Lord Cromwell crushed the Royalists at the Battle of 
 Marston Moor near York, England.
1776 Richard Henry Lee’s resolution that the American colonies 
 "are, and of right ought to be, free and independent States" 
 was adopted by the Continental Congress.
1850 Prussia agreed to pull out of Schlewig and Holstein, Germany.
1850 B.J. Lane patented the gas mask.
1857 New York City’s first elevated railroad officially opened 
 for business.
1858 Czar Alexander II freed the serfs working on imperial lands.
1881 Charles J. Guiteau fatally wounded U.S. President James A. 
 Garfield in Washington, DC.
1890 The U.S. Congress passed the Sherman Antitrust Act.
1926 The U.S. Congress established the Army Air Corps.
1937 American aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart disappeared in the 
 Central Pacific during an attempt to fly around the world at 
 the equator.
1939 At Mount Rushmore, Theodore Roosevelt's face was dedicated.
1944 American bombers, as part of Operation Gardening, dropped 
 land mines, leaflets and bombs on German-occupied Budapest.
1947 An object crashed near Roswell, NM. The U.S. Army Air 
 Force insisted it was a weather balloon, but eyewitness 
 accounts led to speculation that it might have been an 
 alien spacecraft. 9 months later Pelosi was born.
1964 U.S. President Johnson signed the "Civil Rights Act of 1964" 
 into law. The act made it illegal in the U.S. to discriminate 
 against others because of their race.
1967 The U.S. Marine Corps launched Operation Buffalo in response 
 to the North Vietnamese Army's efforts to seize the Marine 
 base at Con Thien.
1976 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled the death penalty was not 
 inherently cruel or unusual.
1976 North Vietnam and South Vietnam were reunited.
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter reinstated draft registration for 
 males 18 years of age.
1981 Soyuz T-6 returned to Earth.
1985 General Motors announced that it was installing electronic 
 road maps as an option in some of its higher-priced cars.
1995 "Forbes" magazine reported that Microsoft's chairman, 
 Bill Gates, was worth $12.9 billion, making him the world's 
 richest man. In 1999, he was worth about $77 billion.
1998 Cable News Network (CNN) retracted a story that alleged that 
 U.S. commandos had used nerve gas to kill American 
 defectors during the Vietnam War.
2014  smiled.


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Malware control comparison 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, July 1.

Happy Canada Day!
Same as July 4 south of the border, but 3 days earlier, 
because Hagar was 500 years earlier than Columbus.

Ezinefinder is working again!
You can finally vote again!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Florida barber for running a strip club out of barber shop Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1997 The sovereignty over Hong Kong was transferred from Great Britain to China. Britain had controlled Hong Kong as a colony for 156 years.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The middle of the road is where the white line is- and that's the worst place to drive. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
Thanks to Sandie for this report: A hot red convertible with an equally hot woman driver raced by as my husband and his friend stopped to stare. "Wow," sighed Rick. "Nice." "Yeah," agreed his buddy, transfixed. "What color was the car?" I asked. They answered simultaneously, "Blonde."
Fix, Clean & Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs

The CIA loses track of one of its operatives, and so calls in one of their top spy hunters. The CIA boss says, "All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he's somewhere in Ireland. If you think you've located him, tell him the code words, 'The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.' If it's really him, he'll answer, 'Yes, and for mist at noon as well.'" So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in a bar in one of the small towns. He says to the bartender, "Maybe you can help me. I'm looking for a guy named Murphy." The bartender replies, "You're going to have to be more specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy. There's Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop on the next block. There's Murphy the Banker, who's president of our local savings bank. There's Murphy the Blacksmith, who works at the stables. And, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too." Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the code words on the bartender, so he says, "The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning." The bartender replies, "Oh, you're looking for Murphy the Spy. He lives next door, up on the second floor."
Thanks to Nanarina for this one Click on the picture for the large version VENEZUELAN POODLE MOTH
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Derrick Price, 43, Orange County, Florida Running a strip club out of barber shop Get your ears lowered and your pants raised. That may have been the business model of a strip bar that was allegedly run out of a barber shop in Orange County, Florida. Undercover agents working for the Metropolitan Bureau of Investigation conducted a many months long investigation of Super Fades barber shop before finally raiding the place early Sunday morning. MBI investigator Lt. Mike Gibson said the agents visited the barbershop by day and saw it turn into an illegal strip bar every Saturday night. “On each and every occasion they were serving alcohol and they had strippers. And, not strippers following local law, but strippers that went completely nude,” Gibson told WFTV TV. Along with the barber pole in front of Super Fades, there was a stripper pole installed inside the establishment. "That would have been a piece of equipment that was there even when they operated during the day while they acted as a barbershop," Gibson said, according to UPI.com Agents purchased $20 worth of illegal vodka at Super Fades early Sunday morning before discovering one of the dancers was a 17-year-old female. "As we were conducting the investigation, we were able to identify one of the dancers being a juvenile, and that led to the need to speed the investigation up," Gibson told WESH TV. Derrick Price, 43, the owner of Super Fades, was arrested and charged with allowing a worker to engage in nudity, allowing a person under 18 in an adult entertainment establishment, operation of an establishment without a valid license and possession of alcohol without a license with intent to sell. He was released after posting bond and is due in court on Monday. The 17-year-old who was allegedly stripping was also arrested. Gibson said the stripping pole has since been removed. Tech Support Pits From: Steve Re: Kasperski vs McAfee vs Malwarebytes Dear Webby your efforts in your newsletter continue to be greatly appreciated, as they have for a few years now. How does the kaspersky internet security malware detection compare to malwarebytes anti-malware you now tout ? Are malware programs similar to anti-virus programs in the respect of you do not want to run two programs concurrently ? How does spy-bot fit into the malware picture, it does cookies not malware ? Again thank you for your time & sharing your wisdom. steve j. Dear Steve Kasperski is the equivalent of McAfee. Some months McAfee is a nose ahead, some months it's Kasperski. Both are huge companies and not really known for good personal support. However, they generally run fine and very rarely require contacting their support. You can consider those two, and Vipre as well, as heavy bombers. Slow, and reasonably reliable. They try to be a total solution for everything, including blocking spam. However, they are rather klutzy about that. It is best to disable their email section. The same goes for Vipre. MalwareBytes by comparison is a fighter plane. It can take care of really nasty trojans, which disable McAfee and Kasperski. Malwarebytes also goes after "agreed to" nuisance stuff, like pop up ads, browser redirection, search engine redirection, etc. MalwareBytes does not care who agreed to that kind of crap. It recognizes crap and flushes it. Both Kasperski and McAfee try to uninstall Malwarebytes. They seem to be really jealous and envious and start a silly pissing contest. Most recommendations are that you stick with McAfee or Kasperski or Vipre for continuous routine protection, and use MalwareBytes just for extreme problems or "agreed to" crap. I have run machines with just MalwareBytes, and found it to be sufficient. Spybot-Search&Destroy is free and will get some light-weight stuff. Because it is free, it is a good idea to try that first, before spending money. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Getting Library Books Back On Time We have a wall hanging appointment calendar in the entry porch. When we come in from the library with a new load of books, we mark the due date and the number of books due on that date. Easy-peasy! I haven't had a fine yet. By FrugalSunnie from Scotland Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

These ads could have benefitted from a bit of proof-reading! Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. For Rent: 6-room hated apartment. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, and you'll never go anywhere again. Illiterate? Write today for free help. Great Dames for sale. Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in. Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours. Stock up and save. Limit: one. Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first! Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. 3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. Mother's helper--peasant working conditions. Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale. And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience. We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
An excerpt from brilliant Kentucky state legislation. "No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club." The following important amendment however is to be considered here: "The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females weighing less than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply to male horses."

» Christian Andersen

Today in 
0096 Vespasian, a Roman Army leader, was hailed as a Roman 
 Emperor by the Egyptian legions.
1543 England and Scotland signed the peace of Greenwich.
1596 An English fleet under the Earl of Essex, Lord Howard 
 of Effingham and Francis Vere captured and sacked Cadiz, 
 Spain.
1690 The French defeated the forces of the Grand Alliance 
 at Fleurus in the Netherlands.
1798 Napoleon Bonaparte took Alexandria, Egypt.
1847 The U.S. Post Office issued its first adhesive stamps.
1863 During the U.S. Civil War, the first day's fighting 
 at Gettysburg began.
font color=red>1867 Canada became an independent dominion.
1876 Montenegro declared war on the Turks.
1893 The first bicycle race track in America to be made out 
of wood was opened in San Francisco, CA.
1898 During the Spanish-American War, Theodore Roosevelt and his 
 "Rough Riders" waged a victorious assault on 
 San Juan Hill in Cuba.
1909 Thomas Edison began commercially manufacturing his new "A" 
 type alkaline storage batteries.
1916 The massive Allied offensive known as the Battle of 
 the Somme began in France. The battle was the first to 
 use tanks.
1940 In Washington, the Tacoma Narrows Bridge was opened to 
 traffic. The bridge collapsed during a wind storm on 
 November 7, 1940.
1941 Bulova Watch Company sponsored the first TV commercial 
 in New York City, NY.
1942 German troops captured Sevestopol, Crimea, in the 
 Soviet Union.
1943 The U.S. Government began automatically withholding 
 federal income tax from paychecks.
1946 The U.S. exploded a 20-kiloton atomic bomb near Bikini 
 Atoll in the Pacific Ocean.
1950 American ground troops arrived in South Korea to stem 
 the tide of the advancing North Korean army.
1960 Somalia gained its independence from Britain through 
 the unification of Somaliland with Italian Somalia.
1961 British troops landed in Kuwait to aid against 
 Iraqi threats.
1961 The first community air-raid shelter was built. The 
 shelter in Boise, ID had a capacity of 1,000 people and 
 family memberships sold for $100.
1963 The U.S. postmaster introduced the five-digit ZIP 
 (Zoning Improvement Plan) code.
1968 The Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty was signed by 60 
 countries. It limited the spreading of nuclear material 
 for military purposes. On May 11, 1995, the treaty was 
 extended indefinitely.
1969 Britain's Prince Charles was invested as the Prince of 
 Wales.
1974 Isavel Peron became the president of Argentina upon 
 the death of her husband, Juan.
1979 Sony introduced the Walkman.
1980 "O Canada" was proclaimed national anthem of Canada.
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed legislation that 
 provided for 2 acres of land near the Lincoln Memorial 
 for the Vietnam Veterans Memorial.
1987 John Kevin Hill, at age 11, became the youngest to 
 fly across the U.S. when he landed at National Airport 
 in Washington, DC.
1989 The Montreal Protocol, an international treaty, went 
 into effect. It limited the production of ozone-
 destroying chemicals.
1991 The Warsaw Pact dissolved.
1994 Yasser Arafat of the Palestinian Liberation Organization 
 visited the Gaza Strip.
1997 The sovereignty over Hong Kong was transferred from 
 Great Britain to China. Britain had controlled Hong Kong 
 as a colony for 156 years.
2003 In Hong Kong, thousands of protesters marched to show 
their opposition to anti-subversion legislation.
2014  smiled.


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Deleting Temp files 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, June 30.

Yes, I know that the Ezinefinder is still down.
Mańana. 
Maybe.


Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Georgia driver, who repeatedly ran over woman at traffic light Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2004 The international Cassini spacecraft entered Saturn's orbit. The craft had been on a nearly seven-year journey.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It was no wonder that people were so horrible when they started life as children. --- Kingsley Amis (1922 - 1995)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
>From Roland A passenger on a Southwest flight says that he once faced a flight delay just before they boarded. A flight attendant picked up the microphone and announced: "We're sorry for the delay. The machine that normally rips the handles off your luggage is broken, so we're having to do it by hand. We should be finished and on our way shortly."
Fix, Clean & Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us." The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that my dear," she asked. The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again."
Thanks to dad for this one Click on the picture for the large version This one bloomed today
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dewey Green, 23, Douglasville, Georgia Georgia driver, repeatedly ran over woman at traffic light A Georgia man is charged with murder after running over a woman with his car. Dewey Green, 23, drove up behind an SUV sitting at a traffic light in Douglasville on Wednesday afternoon. Green allegedly rammed the vehicle with his own car multiple times, according to WSBTV. The victim, 53-year-old Janice Pitts, got out to see how badly the SUV was damaged, and Green allegedly slammed into her, pinning the woman up against the vehicle. Pitts' adult daughter, Iesha Davis, tried to save her mother, jumping on Green's car and begging him to stop crushing the woman. Police say that after Green backed up and Pitt fell to the ground, he ran her over. He then allegedly backed up over her body again, according to AL.com “I'll never ever get the image of my mom lifeless body lying on the pavement and the man ran her over like she was nothing," Davis told WSBTV. Davis' 4-year-old son was also in the vehicle at the time. "Imagine your mother minding her own business and being killed brutally,'' Nakeeta Davis, Pitts' other daughter who was not at the scene of the crime, told AL.com. "This man was out to kill. He didn't stop until he got what he was after." Pitts, who died at the scene, was studying for a master's degree in psychology and was planning to open a non-profit for abused women and children. Acting District Attorney Brian Fortner told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution that it does not appear Pitt and Green knew each other, and that there is no indication Green suffered from mental illness. Police say Green seemed dazed and confused and reeked of alcohol. “No doubt there's alcohol involved,” said Stan Copeland with Douglas County police. Officials are trying to determine if he was additionally under the influence of drugs. Tech Support Pits From: Kathy Re: Deleting files Hi Webby,a question please! My puter has been acting up lately,slow ,irratic,etc.. I defragged and when I went to do a Disc clean up,in the list shown were Temp Files,(not temp internet files) which are taking up 1.39 GB of space! Are these files that I can delete? Also shown in System error memory dump files,were 194 MB of files.Please advise!!!!! Thanks for being there for us!!! Don't give up on us,we will be more tech savvy with your help,one day!!! Stay well, Kathy Dear Kathy Download CrapCleaner from my ToolBox. It is free It will get rid of most of that crap. Caution! Go into the settings and take the checkmark off the Cookies. Otherwise it will blithely delete all your cookies, and you'll have trouble signing in to your bank. That should help noticeably. Additional help is at http://webby.com/fixclean Re temp files, I just dump them when I come across them, same as when I see files with wacky characters in the file name. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Monsters Be Gone Kit Made about a thousand of these, LOL! Supplies: Spray Bottle Lavender Oil Steps: Mix ten to twelve drops of lavender with water. Put the spray top on and label the bottle. Get a box and decorate it. Write on the side: "Monsters Beware Kit". On the other side, write "(Child's Name), Go Away I Say Kit!" Put spray, a tiny flashlight, and a small bell in the box. Tell the child to ring the bell, because monsters do not like bells (but really to wake up the parent) and take the flashlight and turn it on because they hate light. Then, spray the bed and under it to make them leave! Source: Me, tired of Grand-kids nightmares! By The Awesome Grandma [53] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Em While standing in line at airport security this morning, the ahead of me poked her index finger at an article in the newspaper she was reading and made a rather unflattering comment about the author. I read: "12 ideas to help you keep that resolution to lose weight." After a couple of paragraphs, the article lists things to do. The second of these hints reads: "When cooking yourself, substitute lower-fat ingredients whenever possible...." "HUH?" she then asked, "Am I supposed to hunt down and cook a low-fat jogger instead of myself?"
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the entire store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom - Let me show you how."

» Christian Andersen

Today in 
1097 The Crusaders defeated the Turks at Dorylaeum.
1841 The Erie Railroad rolled out its first passenger train.
1859 Charles Blondin became the first person to cross 
 Niagara Falls on a tightrope.
1894 Korea declared independence from China and asked for 
 Japanese aid.
1908 A meteor explosion in Siberia knocked down trees in a 
 40-mile radius and struck people unconscious some 40 
 miles away.
1912 Belgian workers went on strike to demand universal 
 suffrage.
1913 Fighting broke out between Bulgaria and Greece and 
 Spain. It was the beginning of the Second Balkan War.
1915 During World War I, the Second Battle Artois ended 
 when the French failed to take Vimy Ridge.
1922 Irish rebels in London assassinate Sir Henry Wilson, 
 the British deputy for Northern Ireland.
1930 France pulled its troops out of Germany’s Rhineland.
1934 Adolf Hitler purged the Nazi Party by destroying the 
 SA and bringing to power the SS in the "Night of the 
 Long Knives."
1935 Fascists caused an uproar at the League of Nations when 
 Haile Selassie of Ethiopia speaks.
1936 Margaret Mitchell’s book, "Gone with the Wind,"
1950 U.S. President Harry Truman ordered U.S. troops into Korea 
 and authorizes the draft.
1951 On orders from Washington, General Matthew Ridgeway broadcasts 
 that the United Nations was willing to discuss an armistice with 
 North Korea.
1953 The first Corvette rolled off the Chevrolet assembly line in 
 Flint, MI. It sold for $3,250.
1955 The U.S. began funding West Germany’s rearmament.
1957 The American occupation headquarters in Japan was dissolved.
1958 The U.S. Congress passed a law authorizing the admission of 
 Alaska as the 49th state in the Union.
1960 The Katanga province seceded from Congo (upon Congo's 
 independence from Belgium).
1964 The last of U.N. troops left Congo after a four-year 
 effort to bring stability to the country.
1971 The Soviet spacecraft Soyuz 11 returned to Earth. The three 
 cosmonauts were found dead inside.
1977 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced his opposition to 
 the B-1 bomber.
1985 Yul Brynner left his role as the King of Siam after 4,600 
 performances in "The King and I."
1994 The U.S. Figure Skating Association stripped Tonya Harding 
 of the 1994 national championship and banned her from the 
 organization for life for an attack on rival Nancy Kerrigan.
1998 Officials confirmed that the remains of a Vietnam War 
 serviceman buried in the Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington 
 National Cemetery were identified as those of Air Force pilot 
 Michael J. Blassie.
2000 U.S. President Clinton signed the E-Signature bill to give 
 the same legal validity to an electronic signature as a 
 signature in pen and ink.
2004 The international Cassini spacecraft entered Saturn's orbit. 
The craft had been on a nearly seven-year journey. 
2014  smiled.


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Google Chrome infection 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, June 29.

Yes, I know that the Ezinefinder is still down.
Mańana. 
Maybe.


Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Woman, who deliberately sprayed weedkiller into a 7 year old girl's face. Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1995 The shuttle Atlantis and the Russian space station Mir docked, forming the largest man-made satellite ever to orbit the Earth.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. ---Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
Thanks to Linda for this story: As the owner of a clunker, I was used to dealing with a variety of car breakdowns. One day at the supermarket, just after I had filled my trunk with groceries, I noticed a stream of fluid pouring out of the bottom of the car. I knew I had to get home before the car was once again out of action. When I arrived I asked my husband to take a look at the problem. Expecting the worst, I braced myself for his diagnosis. When he came back in, he was smiling. "It's apple juice," he said.
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Since this is their first party and the wife hasn't done much cooking, the husband suggests they order out for Chinese food and she could bake a cake for dessert. She agrees, but on Friday afternoon, the wife calls her husband in tears. "The only recipe I can find is for a cake that will feed four," she says. "Why don't you just double the recipe?" her husband asks. Just before quitting time the husband gets another call from her, and this time she is frantic. "I just can't do it," she says. "It's impossible." "Now, now, what's the matter?" "Well, I doubled everything, just like you said," she tells him, "and it's ready to go in the oven." "Then what's the problem?" he asks. The wife sobs. "The book says that the cake must be baked at 350 degrees. I've checked the oven and it doesn't go up to 700 degrees!" "That's probably metric, just bake it at 350, but don't double the time!"
>From Dianne Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Wilhelmina Rodenhuis, 60, Grover Beach, California Woman, who deliberately sprayed weedkiller into a 7 year old girl's face. Grover Beach police arrested a woman Wednesday evening for spraying a child in the face with a weed killer. Detectives have not yet determined a motive, but police say that 60-year-old Julie Wilhelmina Rodenhuis approached a seven-year-old and sprayed pesticide in the child’s eyes. The incident occurred around 7:15 p.m. Wednesday in a condominium complex at 676 North 12th Street in Grover Beach. Family members immediately treated the child until medical responders arrived. The child received further treatment at a local hospital and was released. Officers charged Rodenhuis with child endangerment, assault with a deadly weapon and battery with serious child endangerment. Rodenhuis could receive addition charges. She is currently in San Luis Obispo County Jail on a $100,000 bond. No site lists a motive, just that Rodenhuis has been involved in many neighborhood disputes, that some have permanent restraining orders against her, and pretty well all local commenters agree that she is crazy. Tech Support Pits From: Lynn Re: Google Chrome infection? Dear Webby: It seems my Google chrome has an infected file because my McAfee (I don't believe it is really McAfee that keeps popping this window up)keeps popping up a window that says a Trojan has been found and if I restart my computer, it will be fixed. I restarted 4 times and the pop up that says it is from McAfee still says it has found and infected file and to restart my computer. I did a complete scan with my McAfee and it says: no issues found. I closed Google Chrome and am now using Firefox and the issue is gone. It only happens when I am using Google Chrome. Should I uninstall Chrome and re-install it as I like it better than Firefox? Any help you can give me will be appreciated. Many thanks C. Dear C Whatever you do, do NOT restart! That is a common ploy of many infections for installing a new super-user above you. Quite possibly your McAfee has been compromised, just like your Google Chrome. Now you need stronger medicine. See that big link at the top of the side menu? MalwareBytes That should clean the crap out of your machine. After that, uninstall McAfee and Chrome. Run Malwarebyts again to make sure the machine is clean. Then you can re-install a fresh McAfee, if you want it, and Chrome. Quite likely the infection started, when you agreed to something or other. That causes mcAfee to bow out and list that as something you want and agreed to, Malwarebytes is not that polite with crooked shit. No matter who agreed to it, out it goes. When Microsoft stopped allowing the round clock "gadet", I searched for an alternative and eventually found a site with hundreds of clocks. I picked one, and during the installation of it, hit Enter without reading the small print one time too often. And got infected. McAfee allowed that crap, since I had agreed to it. GRRRRR! So I installed MalwareBytes It cleaned out not only THAT infection, but a few more, that I suspected, but never had the time to hunt dwon. THAT is why MalwareBytes got the spot of honor on top of the recommended resources in the side menu. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Exchange Keys With A Neighbor My neighbor and I exchanged house keys so that we could enter each other's homes in case of an emergency or to feed pets while one of us is on vacation, etc. I bought two magnetic key holders and gave one to my neighbor to hide (I know where) on her porch for my house key and I put the other one under my metal mailbox with my neighbor's key in it. If someone happened to find the key holder, the key wouldn't work in the lock where the key is hidden and I doubt they would go around trying the neighbor's doors. Also, her kids often forget their keys and can get their spare after school to get into their own house even if I'm not home. By Susan from Pennsylvania Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Ray I'm also a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for visually-impaired adults. Many participants have a condition known as macular degeneration, which makes it difficult for them to distinguish facial features. I had just been assigned to a new group and was introducing myself. Knowing that many in the group would not be able to see me well, I jokingly said, "For those of you who can't see me, I've been told that I look like a cross between Paul Newman and Robert Redford." Immediately, one woman called out, "We're not THAT blind!"
A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting. "Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks. The two Americans just stare at him. "Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries. The two continue to stare. "Parlare Italiano?" No response. "Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing. The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we should learn a foreign language." "Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and it didn't do him any good." +

» Small Shacks

Today in 
1236 Ferdinand III of Castile and Leon took Cordoba 
 in Spain.
1652 Massachusetts declared itself an independent 
 commonwealth.
1776 The Virginia constitution was adopted and Patrick 
 Henry was made governor.
1860 The first iron-pile lighthouse was completed at 
 Minot’s Ledge, MA.
1880 France annexed Tahiti.
1888 Professor Frederick Treves performed the first 
 appendectomy in England.
1903 The British government officially protested 
 Belgian atrocities in the Congo.
1905 Russian troops intervened as riots erupted in 
 ports all over the country. Many ships were looted.
1917 The Ukraine proclaimed independence from Russia.
1925 Marvin Pipkin filed for a patent for the frosted 
 electric light bulb.
1926 Fascists in Rome added an hour to the work day 
 in an economic efficiency measure.
1932 Siam’s army seized Bangkok and announced an end 
 to the absolute monarchy.
1946 British authorities arrested more than 2,700 
 Jews in Palestine in an attempt to end alleged 
 terrorism.
1950 U.S. President Harry S. Truman authorized a sea 
 blockade of Korea.
1951 The United States invited the Soviet Union to the 
 Korean peace talks on a ship in Wonson Harbor.
1953 The Federal Highway Act authorized the construction 
 of 42,500 miles of freeway from coast to coast.
1954 The Atomic Energy Commission voted against reinstating 
 Dr. J. Robert Oppenheimer's access to classified 
 information.
1955 The Soviet Union sent tanks to Poznan, Poland, to put 
 down anti-Communist demonstrations.
1966 The U.S. bombed fuel storage facilities near the North 
 Vietnamese cities of Hanoi and Haiphong.
1967 Israel removed barricades, re-unifying Jerusalem.
1972 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the death penalty 
 could constitute "cruel and unusual punishment." The 
 ruling prompted states to revise their capital punishment 
 laws.
1982 Israel invaded Lebanon.
1995 The shuttle Atlantis and the Russian space station Mir 
 docked, forming the largest man-made satellite ever to 
 orbit the Earth.
2007 The Apple iPhone went on sale.
2014  smiled.


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Are there any other FF30 bugs? 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, June 28.

Yes, I know that the Ezinefinder is still down.
Mańana. 
Maybe.

I had a similar server error on one of our machines today,
but got it fixed OK.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Contrary to general belief, I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first. --- Peter Ustinov (1921 - 2004
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
Two men were sitting in a doctors office. "What are you here for?" asked one. "Circumcision," came the reply. "That's rouh! I had one of those the day after I was born," "Afterward, I couldn't walk for a year."
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A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he'd asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down, because he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walking back and forth and never once getting angry. So finally, a second customer asked why didn't they just throw out the pest. "Oh I don't care." the waiter said with a smile. "We don't have an air conditioner."
>From Nanarina Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Latia Harris Woman Charged For Brutal Beating Caught On Tape JUNE 26--Police today charged a female McDonald’s employee for the vicious beating of a New Jersey woman whose two-year-old small son tried to stop the attack, a video of which went viral this week. Latia Harris, 25, has been named in a criminal complaint accusing her of aggravated assault and two counts of making terroristic threats, according to a court filing. The brutal attack occurred Tuesday evening in an open field behind a McDonald’s in Salem, a southwestern New Jersey city. Harris, pictured in the above driver’s license photo, was wearing her McDonald’s uniform as she punched, kicked, and spat on the 27-year-old victim, who was “covered in blood” when emergency service workers arrived at the scene (she was subsequently transported to a local hospital for treatment). A video of the attack was posted to Facebook, where it was copied by Salem police. Investigators reported that the victim told them that “Tia who works at McDonalds” assaulted her and accused her of spreading rumors about her and her McDonald’s manager. As seen on the video, during the assault Harris threatened to kick the victim’s son in the face. As his mother was being beaten, the boy kicked Harris several times in the leg. At the conclusion of the assault, Harris “spat on the victim and walked away asking those recording the incident not to post it on social media,” according to a police statement. The complaint alleges that Harris also threatened to shoot the victim “while punching her about the face.” Harris, who remains at large, has not reported to work since the June 24 incident. When she is apprehended, Harris will be booked into jail on the three felony counts, the bail for which has already been set at $35,000. Interesting to note, none of the half dozen or so dark skinned spectators lending moral support and apparently initial help holding the victim and kocking her down, helped the white victim in any way whatsoever. Video of attack Tech Support Pits From: Lynn Re: Any other FF30 cautions? Dear Webby What is Fire Fox bleeding. I just downloaded Fire Fox and I am in a steep learning curve. Are there any other problems that I should be watching for? I did have a problem with my roboform tool bar missing and Firefox that I was finally able to resolve. Thanks, Lynne Dear Lynne The bleeding is not a serious problem, just an embarrassing glitch, like spaghetti sauce stain on your nice white blouse. You can cope with it, until we find a solution. For the RoboForm bar, you already found it, and for anybody else, just right-click on an empty spot on the top bar, and put a checkmark on RoboForm. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning With Lemons Don't throw away those lemons after you've used them. They are great for scrubbing the kitchen sink. Simply take half a squeezed or unsqueezed lemon, dip it in some baking soda and scrub away. The baking soda will act as an abrasive while the lemon will help remove stains. You can also squeeze some lemon juice down the drain to help freshen it. For stronger odor elimination, just use some of the peel and turn on your disposer. Lemony fresh results every time. By Liliane from Milpitas, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Our priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin brother, also a priest, to fill in for him and conduct a funeral Mass scheduled for that day. His brother, of course, agreed. It was not until the brother was accompanying the casket down the aisle, however, that he realized that he had neglected to ask the sex of the deceased. This was information that he would need for his remarks during the service. As he approached the first pew where the deceased's relatives were seated he nodded toward the casket and whispered to one woman, "Brother or sister?" "Cousin," she replied.
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the days route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here, "she cried," one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says "Do Not Disturb!"

» Dragonboats

Today in 
1635 The French colony of Guadeloupe was established in the 
 Caribbean.
1675 Frederick William of Brandenburg crushed the Swedes.
1709 The Russians defeated the Swedes and Cossacks at the 
 Battle of Poltava.
1776 American Colonists repulsed a British sea attack on 
 Charleston, SC.
1778 Mary "Molly Pitcher" Hays McCauley, wife of an American 
 artilleryman, carried water to the soldiers during the Battle 
 of Monmouth and, supposedly, took her husband's place at his 
 gun after he was overcome with heat.
1894 The U.S. Congress made Labor Day a U.S. national holiday.
1902 The U.S. Congress passed the Spooner bill, it authorized 
 a canal to be built across the isthmus of Panama.
1914 Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, the heir to the 
 Austro-Hungarian throne, was assassinated in Sarajevo along 
 with his wife, Duchess Sophie. This was the start of WWI.
1919 The Treaty of Versailles was signed ending World War I 
 exactly five years after it began. The treaty also established 
 the League of Nations.
1921 A coal strike in Great Britain was settled after three months.
1930 More than 1,000 communists were routed during an assault on 
 the British consulate in London.
1939 Pan American Airways began the first transatlantic 
 passenger service.
1942 German troops launched an offensive to seize Soviet oil fields 
 in the Caucasus and the city of Stalingrad.
1945 U.S. General Douglas MacArthur announced the end of 
 Japanese resistance in the Philippines.
1949 The last U.S. combat troops were called home from Korea, 
 leaving only 500 advisers.
1950 North Korean forces captured Seoul, South Korea.
1954 French troops began to pull out of Vietnam’s 
 Tonkin Province.
1960 In Cuba, Fidel Castro confiscated American-owned oil 
 refineries without compensation.
1965 The first commercial satellite began communications 
 service. It was Early Bird (Intelsat I).
1967 Israel formally declared Jerusalem reunified under its 
 sovereignty following its capture of the Arab sector in the 
 June 1967 war.
1971 The U.S. Supreme Court overturned the draft evasion 
 conviction of Muhammad Ali.
1972 U.S. President Nixon announced that no new draftees would 
 be sent to Vietnam.
1978 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the medical school at the 
 University of California at Davis to admit Allan Bakke. Bakke, 
 a white man, argued he had been a victim of reverse racial 
 discrimination.
1997 Mike Tyson was disqualified for biting Evander Holyfield's 
 ear after three rounds of their WBA heavyweight title fight 
 in Las Vegas, NV.
1998 Poland, due to shortage of funds, is allowed to lease, 
 U.S. aircraft to bring military force up to NATO standards.
1998 The Cincinnati Enquirer apologized to Chiquita banana 
 company and retracted their stories that questioned company's 
 business practices. They also agreed to pay more than 
 $10 million to settle legal claims.
2000 The European Commission announced that they had blocked 
 the planned merger between the U.S. companies WorldCom Inc. 
 and Sprint due to competition concerns.
2000 Six-year-old Elián González returned to Cuba from the U.S. 
 with his father. The child had been the center of an 
 international custody dispute.
2001 Slobodan Milosevic was taken into custody and was handed 
 over to the U.N. war crimes tribunal in The Hague, Netherlands. 
 The indictment charged Milosevic and four other senior officials, 
 with crimes against humanity and violations of the laws and 
 customs of war in Kosovo.
2001 The U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia 
 Circuit set aside an order that would break up Microsoft for 
 antitrust violations. However, the judges did agree that the 
 company was in violation of antitrust laws.
2004 The U.S. turned over official sovereignty to Iraq's 
 interim leadership. The event took place two days earlier 
 than previously announced to thwart insurgents' attempts 
 at undermining the transfer.
2004 The U.S. resumed diplomatic ties with Libya after a 
 24-year break.
2007 The American bald eagle was removed from the endangered 
 species list. It is still a carrion, though, and as such
 protected from hunting.
2014  smiled.


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FireFox 30 still bleeding 





Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, June 27.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Yes, I know that the Ezinefinder is still down.
Mańana. Maybe.


And the fan goes wild!
Well, not really.
The home coming welcome for the 
English team was not very noisy.
One lonely Gramma and one reporter
on a distant parkade roof.
Englad got sent home ater two
games, in hopes, that they learn 
more by watching the World Cup
on TV.


Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Minnesota burglar, who robs a home, and leaves HIS Facebook profile open. Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2005 In Alaska's Denali National Park, a roughly 70-million year old dinosaur track was discovered. The track was form a three-toed Cretaceous period dinosaur.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
People choose the paths that grant them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort. --- David Shore,
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
"We ask prospective job applicants at our business to fill out a questionnaire. For the line 'Choose ONE word to summarize your strongest professional attribute,' one woman wrote, 'I'm very good at following instructions.'"
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"An individual applied for a customer-service job, and when asked what he might not like about the job, he said, 'Dealing with people.'"
>From Nanarina Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Reported by Walter, the StoneCarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Nicholas Wig, 26, South St. Paul, Minnesota Minnesota burglar robs home, leaves HIS Facebook profile open A Minnesota man came home to find his house unlocked, cash and other items missing, and the accused burglar's Facebook profile open on his computer, authorities said. Nicholas Wig, 26, who has been charged with second degree burglary, also left his wet jeans, shoes and a belt lying on the floor by the computer in the South St. Paul house, according to a criminal complaint. "This is the first case in Dakota County in which a suspected burglar left his Facebook account open," Monica Jensen, spokeswoman for the Dakota County Attorney's Office, said on Tuesday. According to the criminal complaint, a resident called police on Thursday and told them he found his house in disarray, the front door unlocked and a screen removed from a side window. He also saw that "Nick Dub's" Facebook profile was open on his computer, the complaint said. Items missing included cash, a checkbook, credit cards, keys and a watch, it said. That same day, the resident recognized Wig on the street from his Facebook picture and told police, who found him wearing a watch like one taken in the burglary, the complaint said. When police checked Wig for weapons, they found car keys and an iPod shuffle, which the resident identified along with the watch, the complaint said. Wig admitted entering the house, swapping his rain-soaked clothes for some from the house, logging on to Facebook and taking the items reported stolen, the complaint said. The felony charge calls for up to 10 years in prison and a $20,000 fine, but he wil undoubtedly get a lot less than that. Tech Support Pits From: Andy Re: FireFox 30 bleeding Dear Webby Have you found a way yet to get around the Bleeding in FireFox 30? Andy Dear Andy Not yet. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Cast Iron If cast iron is rusty, use steel pads to remove rust and wash in hot Dawn detergent really well. Dry cast iron. I use cooking oil to season the cast iron; using paper towel, rub oil generously onto cast iron, inside and outside. Place a heavy duty piece of foil on the shelf of the oven and turn thermostat to 350 degrees F. Place cast iron top side down and season for 1 hour. This will allow the excess oil to drain off the cast iron. Allow to cool and wash with warm water. No soap. My first item cooked in my iron skillets, is a pan of cornbread. I place 2 tablespoons of oil into the skillet and heat to slightly smoking and pour the mix into the skillet and bake at 400 degrees F. It slides right out. No sticking. By Grandma Ree from VA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

"Candidate specified that his availability was limited because Friday, Saturday, and Sunday was 'drinking time.'"
After driving all night, a man arrived in a small town where he decided to stop in the local park and catch some sleep. Just as he dozed off, there was a knock on the window. Outside the car, was a jogger. "Excuse me, can you give me the time?" the jogger inquired. "Groggily, the man replied, "It's 6:27." The man closed his eyes and just as he dozed off there was another knock on the window. There stood another jogger who said, "I'm sorry to disturb you. Do you have the time?", Struggling to keep up his spirits he replied, "It's 6:34." The man rolled up the window but realizing that this could go on indefinitely, he took paper and pen and created a sign which read: "I DO NOT KNOW THE TIME." He stuck the sign in the window, closed his eyes, and was barely asleep when there came yet another tap on the window. The man looked and sure enough, there was another jogger. He disgustedly rolled down the window and said, "Yeah, what is it?" The jogger replied, "It's 6:42."

» Shortest Rivers

Today in 
0363 The death of Roman Emperor Julian brought an end to the 
 Pagan Revival.
1693 "The Ladies' Mercury" was published by John Dunton in London. 
 It was the first women's magazine and contained a "question and 
 answer" column that became known as a "problem page."
1743 King George II of England defeated the French at Dettingen, 
 Bavaria, in the War of the Austrian Succession.
1787 Edward Gibbon completed "The Decline and Fall of the 
 Roman Empire." 
 It was published the following May.
1801 British forces defeated the French and took control of 
 Cairo, Egypt.
1847 New York and Boston were linked by telegraph wires.
1871 The yen became the new form of currency in Japan.
1885 Chichester Bell and Charles S. Tainter applied for a 
 patent for the gramophone. It was granted on May 4, 1886.
1893 The New York stock market crashed. By the end of the 
 year 600 banks and 74 railroads had gone out of business.
1905 The battleship Potemkin succumbed to a mutiny on the 
 Black Sea.
1918 Two German pilots were saved by parachutes for the 
 first time.
1923 Yugoslav Premier Nikola Pachitch was wounded by Serb 
 attackers in Belgrade.
1927 The U.S. Marines adopted the English bulldog as their 
 mascot.
1929 Scientists at Bell Laboratories in New York revealed a 
 system for transmitting television pictures.
1931 Igor Sikorsky filed U.S. Patent 1,994,488, which marked 
 the breakthrough in helicopter technology.
1940 Robert Pershing Wadlow was measured by Dr. Cyril MacBryde 
 and Dr. C. M. Charles. They recorded his height at 8' 11.1." 
 He was only 22 at the time of his death on July 15, 1940.
1942 The FBI announced the capture of eight Nazi saboteurs who 
 had been put ashore from a submarine on New York's Long Island.

1944 During World War II, American forces completed their capture 
 of the French port of Cherbourg from the German army.
1950 Two days after North Korea invaded South Korea, U.S. President 
 Truman ordered the Air Force and Navy into the Korean conflict. 
 The United Nations Security Council had asked for member 
 nations to help South Korea repel an invasion from the North.
1954 The world's first atomic power station opened at Obninsk, 
 near Moscow.
1955 The state of Illinois enacted the first automobile seat 
 belt legislation.
1964 Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman were married. It only 
 lasted 38 days.
1966 "Dark Shadows" began running on ABC-TV.
1967 The world's first cash dispenser was installed at Barclays 
 Bank in Enfield, England. The device was invented by John 
 Sheppard-Barron. The machine operated on a voucher system and 
 the maximum withdrawal was $28.
1967 Two hundred people were arrested during a race riot in 
 Buffalo, NY.
1969 Patrons at the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York City's 
 Greenwich Village, clashed with police. This incident is considered 
 to be the birth of the homosexual rights movement.
1972 Bobby Hull signed a 10-year hockey contract for $2,500,000. He 
 became a player and coach of the Winnipeg Jets of the World Hockey 
 Association.
1973 Former White House counsel John W. Dean told the Senate 
 Watergate Committee about an "enemies list" that was kept by the 
 Nixon White House.
1973 Nixon vetoed a Senate ban on bombing Cambodia.
1980 U.S. President Carter signed legislation reviving draft 
 registration.
1985 Route 66 was officially removed from the United States 
 Highway System.
1985 The U.S. House of Representatives voted to limit the 
 use of combat troops in Nicaragua.
1986 The World Court ruled that the U.S. had broken 
international law by aiding Nicaraguan rebels.
1995 Qatar's Crown Prince Sheik Hamad bin Khalifa al-Thani ousted 
his father in a bloodless palace coup.
1998 An English woman was impregnated with her dead husband's
 sperm after two-year legal battle over her right to the sperm.
2002 In the U.S., the Securities and Exchange Commission required 
 companies with annual sales of more than $1.2 billion to submit 
 sworn statements backing up the accuracy of their financial 
 reports.
2005 In Alaska's Denali National Park, a roughly 70-million year 
 old dinosaur track was discovered. The track was form a three-toed 
 Cretaceous period dinosaur.
2014  smiled.


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FireFox 30 is OK, except for bleeding top bar 




Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, June 26.

Yes, I know that the Ezinefinder is still down.
Mańana. Maybe.
The good news is that it looks like they are finally 
moving up to a Linux server. Right now they are still
stumped and apparently don't realize how much simpler
it actually is. I am sure they will get the hng of it soon.

I got strep throat or something nasty like that. 
You would not believe how tempting it would be to crawl
into bed and skip a day or two!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Birdhouse size "Little Library" ordered torn down in Kansas Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that employers are always potentially liable for supervisor's sexual misconduct toward an employee.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything. --- Kurt Vonnegut (1922 - 2007)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
This country is so full of opportunity. Where else can a woman hire another woman to do her housework, so that she can volunteer at the Day Care Center where the cleaning woman leaves her child?
Fix, Clean & Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs

Three guys were standing around talking about dying when one asked, "What would you like people to say about you as they come to pay their last respects?" The second man said, "I hope they say I was a respected doctor in my field, a good family man, and had lots of friends." The third man said, "I hope they say I was a well spoken attorney, helped my fellow man, good citizen, and played a mean round of golf." The first man said, "That's probably what will be said of the two of you. My hope is that when they look down in my coffin, they say, "Look...he's moving"!
>From Nanarina Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Reported by Walter, the StoneCarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Richard Coleman, City of Leawood, Kansas Kansas boy forced to remove little free library from his yard Spenser Collins, 9, loves to read. The idea of sharing his love of books with his neighbors thrills him. So with the help of his parents, he set up a Little Free Library in their yard in Leawood, Kansas. But the town of Leawood decided the birdhouse-sized library was an illegal structure and the family was ordered to remove it. The family moved the Little Free Library into their garage. But they are looking to take the issue with City Hall, reported ABC affiliate KMBC. The little library, which was made by the boy’s grandfather, was capable of holding a few books. Like the Little Free Libraries across the country, it had a “take a book, leave a book” note taped on its door. The bookshelf sat next to a bench on the family's front yard, which was intended to provide a spot for readers to enjoy their books. "When we got home from vacation, there was a letter from the city of Leawood saying that it was in code violation and it needed to be torn down by the 19th or we would receive a citation," Spencer's mother, Sarah Collins told KMBC. The City of Leawood bans buildings that aren't attached to homes. Since the library was a free standing structure in the family's front yard, it was considered illegal. The city claims that they have received two complaints regarding the library, according to Richard Coleman, Leawood's director of community development. "First, there was just a library. Then, a bench was place next to it. I think people were concerned there would be more and more stuff at their front yard," Coleman told ABC News. “I find it rather humorous that the city [of Leawood] thinks it is illegal," said Todd Bol, who helped create the Little Free Library movement in 2009. "It is a sweet thing that brings the community together." Bol said the Little Free Library has worked well in some of the toughest communities across the country. There are more than 16,000 Little Free Libraries in 72 countries, according to Bol. Collins family has set up a Facebook page to inform supporters of their progress. The page has received over 17,000 "likes." "Our city law has been around for over a decade. This is the first time that we have had a problem with this," Coleman said. "We think that it is a great program. It's just that the current ordinance doesn't allow it." Tech Support Pits From: Bree Re: FireFox 30 Bugs Dear Webby I notice you mention FireFox 30. Is it safe, and what kind of bugs do we have to expect? Bree Dear Bree Yes, FireFox 30 is safe and works well. The only bug I have an issue with is that the top Windows bar bleeds down into the tabs. I have used a light green fading to dark green top bar for active windows since Windows 3.1, and red fading to dark red for inactive windows. You were probably still jail-bait in those days, but that has become my standard set-up. There is no logical reason for the Windows top bar to bleed down onto the tab colors. Yes, I use Colorful Tabs 24.3. Highly recommended Add-on! I am sure somebody will craft a fix for that in the near future. In the meantime, that is the only FireFox 30 specific bug, that I have come across. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Change Shampoo Monthly After much displeasure with my hair, and after trying all the suggestions I received from friends and family, I decided that maybe my hair needed a change of shampoo. I found that by changing my shampoo every month or so, my hair was much more manageable. You may want to give a try. It worked for me. By Mary from Traverse City, MI Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

While digging a shaft into the German homeland, German scientists discovered small pieces of copper at 50 meters. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network. Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. The British ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. At a depth of 100 meters, they discovered small pieces of glass. Soon the British announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fiber net. Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100, and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing. The Israelis concluded that the ancient Hebrews 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones.
A man and his wife went to a psychiatrist to see if they could gain some relief for the man's belief that he was a refrigerator. After meeting with the husband, the psychiatrist assured the wife that there was nothing about which to be concerned. A bit perturbed the wife stated, "But doc at night when he sleeps with his mouth open the light keeps me awake!"

» Shortest Rivers

Today in 
1096 Peter the Hermit's crusaders forced their way across 
 Sava, Hungary.
1243 The Seljuk Turkish army in Asia Minor was wiped out 
 by the Mongols.
1483 Richard III usurped himself to the English throne.
1794 The French defeated an Austrian army at the Battle 
 of Fleurus.
1804 The Lewis and Clark Expedition reached the mouth 
 of the Kansas River after completing a westward trek of 
 nearly 400 river miles.
1819 The bicycle was patented by W.K. Clarkson, Jr.
1870 The first section of the boardwalk in Atlantic City, 
 NJ, was opened to the public.
1894 The American Railway Union called a general strike in 
 sympathy with Pullman workers.
1900 The United States announced that it would send troops 
 to fight against the Boxer rebellion in China.
1900 A commission that included Dr. Walter Reed began the 
 fight against the deadly disease yellow fever.
1907 Russia's nobility demanded drastic measures to be 
 taken against revolutionaries.
1908 Shah Muhammad Ali's forces squelched the reform 
 elements of Parliament in Persia.
1917 General John "Black Jack" Pershing arrived in France 
 with the American Expeditionary Force.
1925 Charlie Chaplin's comedy, "The Gold Rush," premiered 
 in Hollywood.
THAT was the only movie about Canada, that I had seen, 
before I arrived here!
1926 A memorial to the first U.S. troops in France was 
unveiled at St. Nazaire.
1924 After eight years of occupation, American troops left 
 the Dominican Republic.
1942 The Grumman F6F Hellcat fighter was flown for the 
 first time.
1945 The U.N. Charter was signed by 50 nations in San 
 Francisco, CA.
1948 The Berlin Airlift began as the U.S., Britain and 
 France started ferrying supplies to the isolated western 
 sector of Berlin.
1951 The Soviet Union proposed a cease-fire in the Korean War.
1959 U.S. President Eisenhower joined Britain's Queen Elizabeth II 
 in ceremonies officially opening the St. Lawrence Seaway.
1961 A Kuwaiti vote opposed Iraq's annexation plans.
1963 U.S. President John Kennedy announced "Ich bin ein Berliner" 
 (I am a Berliner) at the Berlin Wall.
1971 The U.S. Justice Department issued a warrant for Daniel 
 Ellsberg, accusing him of giving away the Pentagon Papers.
1975 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi declared a state of 
 emergency due to "deep and widespread conspiracy."
1976 The CN (Canadian National) Tower in Toronto, Canada, opened.
1979 Muhammad Ali, at 37 years old, announced that he was 
 retiring as world heavyweight boxing champion.
1981 In Mountain Home, Idaho, Virginia Campbell took her coupons 
 and rebates and bought $26,460 worth of groceries. She only paid 
 67 cents after all the discounts.
1985 Wilbur Snapp was ejected after playing "Three Blind Mice" 
 during a baseball game. The incident followed a call made by 
 umpire Keith O'Connor.
1987 The movie "Dragnet" opened in the U.S.
1996 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the Virginia Military 
 Institute to admit women or forgo state support.
1997 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Communications 
 Decency Act of 1996 that made it illegal to distribute 
 indecent material on the Internet.
1997 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld state laws that allow for 
 a ban on doctor-assisted suicides.
1998 The U.S. and Peru open school to train commandos to patrol 
 Peru's rivers for drug traffickers.
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that employers are always 
 potentially liable for supervisor's sexual misconduct toward 
 an employee.
2002 WorldCom Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.
2014  smiled.


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