Monitor Interference 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 22

Have FUN!
DearWebby




Today's Bonehead Award AND a Darwin award go to a 21 year old Mexican, who shot a selfie with a '38. Details at Boneheads Today, in 1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Only sick music makes money today. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)
>From Donna AS A NURSE in a maternity unit, I've had to answer all kinds of questions from patients and their families. I couldn't help but notice that one expectant father seemed particularly interested in the electronic fetal monitor. "Would it hurt anything if I just turned this dial up and down from time to time?" he asked. "No," I answered, "but why would you want to do that?" Smiling wistfully, the dad explained, "I know from experience it's the only time in a child's life I'll be able to control the volume."
I was on board the USS Kitty Hawk when we docked in the Sri Lankan capital, Colombo. One morning, as the local fishing fleet passed by on its way out to sea, a boat came too close to our ship. A Marine held up a sign warning the captain to stay away, and he complied. But the next day, the boat was back. This time, the fisherman held something. The nervous Marine pointed to his rifle. The fisherman lifted the object and unfurled it, revealing a sign of his own. In perfect English it read, "Your Sign Is Upside Down."
Selma and Irving receive an invitation in the mail. Since it was many years since they were invited anywhere, they read it with glee, very excited that they were asked to attend a wedding. All was fine until they reached the last line. Confused, Irving asks Selma, "Selma, vat does this "RSVP" mean?" Selma was at a loss, as for the life of her, she simply couldn't remember. Finally, after racking her brain for hours, she cries out: "Vait! Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP!! It means.. "Remember, Send Vedding Present!"
Thanks to Nanarina for this picture: Click through for the large picture Japanese Maple Portland Oregon
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and a DARWIN AWARD goes to Oscar Otero Aguilar, 21, Mexico City, Mexico Mexican Veterinarian took a fatal selfie with a '38 It may seem obvious, but if you must take a gun selfie, it’s probably best you point the barrel away from your head. Oscar Otero Aguilar learned that lesson the hard way, accidentally killing himself while posing for a selfie with a .38 pointing toward – that’s right – his head. The incident happened last weekend just north of Mexico City. Reports suggest the 21-year-old veterinarian had been partying with friends, and grabbed his smartphone – and a gun – for a selfie that he intended to post on Facebook. Neighbor Manfredo Paez Paez told local news media that he heard the tragic accident take place. “I heard a gunshot, and then I heard somebody screaming and realized somebody had been hurt,” Paez said, adding, “I called the police straight away and when they arrived they found that he was still alive.” Medics battled to save the man, but he died on the way to hospital. Aguilar was something of a selfie obsessive, with a desire to take ever more impressive selfies and other snaps of himself to post on social media” as part of a growing collection that included photos of himself “in front of fast cars, sitting on expensive motorbikes, hugging beautiful women, and posing in a band to make himself appear something, that he was not. Tech Support Pits From: Elsa Re: Monitor interference Dear Webby, While we are renovating, we are using a door laying flat on four short file cabinets as a desk. I sit on the handle side and my hubby sits on the hinge side. The monitors sit side by side in the middle, one facing east, one facing west. Neat solution, right? NOT! When both monitors are on, they flicker like crazy and the colors are weird. Obviouly they are interfering with each other. Moving them apart makes the seating awkward and is not a solution. So, what IS the solution? Elsa Dear Elsa Sounds like you have good, old-fashioned 4:3 aspect ratio CRT monitors, not the sawed off modern ones with stretched pictures. Good for you! Take the side cover off one of your computers, and stick it between the monitors. A real tin cookie sheet will work too, but not aluminum or stainless steel. The cheap side-covers of computers made from melted down Chevys and Fords are ideal. The cheaper the iron, the more it shields EMF. You will be amazed how suddenly the flickering stops when you slide that metal in between the monitors. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade fly trap Take any jar and squirt some jelly inside. Put a funnel in the jar. Some flies will go into the jar through the funnel and some will hang around the outside lid of the jar. Vacuum the outside flies, then lift the funnel a bit and vacuum the inside flies that are still flying around, not the ones that have died. When you vacuum the flies from the jar, look around the room, near the ceiling for other flies, and vacuum them too. Now, locate the food source of the flies. It could be a compost pail, a garbage pail, cat litter or even a piece of fruit that has fallen behind the stove. Once you have gotten rid of your current infestation, change the litter, compost, etc. every 6 or 7 days. This will prevent any fly maggots from maturing to the adult stage, because it takes them at least 8 days. You can use a similar process for killing outdoor mosquitoes. Give them one or more dishes of water, placed in the shade, like under a bush. The female will lay her eggs in the water. Change the water every six days, which is not long enough for the eggs to hatch. By jean99 [1] http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

AS PART of an effort at Fort Sill, Okla., to improve relations with the surrounding community, my unit held a car wash in the parking lot of a downtown business, with the profits to go to local charities. Volunteers received three-day passes, so there was no shortage of manpower, and we all decided to wear our camouflage uniforms to clearly identify us as soldiers. But it never occurred to us that the purpose of the "Company C Charity Car Wash" might be misunderstood until we overheard a man telling his wife, "These defense cutbacks must be really serious!"
Security and peace of mind were part of the reason we moved to a gated community. Both flew out the window the night I called a local pizza shop for a delivery. "I'd like to order a large pepperoni pizza, please," I said, then gave him the address of our condominium. "We'll be there in about half an hour," the kid at the other end replied. "Your gate code is still 1238, right?"


BearsDowny feathers




Today in 
1746 The College of New Jersey was officially chartered. It 
 later became known as Princeton University. 
1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute 
 jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet. 
1836 Sam Houston was inaugurated as the first constitutionally 
 elected president of the Republic of Texas. 
1844 This day is recognized as "The Great Disappointment" among 
 those who practiced Millerism. The world was expected to come 
 to an end according to the followers of William Miller. 
1879 Thomas Edison conducted his first successful experiment 
 with a high-resistance carbon filament. 
1907 The Panic of 1907 began when depositors began withdrawing 
 money from many New York banks. 
1954 The Federal Republic of Germany was invited to join the 
 North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). 
1962 U.S. President Kennedy went on radio and television to 
 inform the United States about his order to send U.S. forces 
 to blockade Cuba. The blockade was in response to the discovery 
 of Soviet missile bases on the island. 
1968 Apollo 7 splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean. The spacecraft 
 had orbited the Earth 163 times. 
1979 The ousted Shah of Iran, Mohammad Riza Pahlavi was allowed 
 into the U.S. for medical treatment. 
1981 The Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization was 
 decertified by the federal government for its strike the 
 previous August. 
1999 China ended its first-ever human rights conference in which 
 it defied Western definitions of civil liberties. 
1999 The U.N. Security Council voted to send 6,000 troops to 
 Sierra Leone to oversee a peace plan that had been signed in July. 
2010 The Internation Space Station set the record (3641 days) for 
 the longest continuous human occupation of space. It had been 
 continously inhabited since November 2, 2000. 
2014  smiled.


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Script Error fix for IE 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 21

The people two houses down the street hired a landscaper to
rake their leaves and haul them away. Once he was done with
that, the West wind picked up and hauled my leaves away.

By the time I went for my evening walk with Copper, their
lawn had more leaves on it than mine. That system has 
worked quite well for me and I don't plan on buying a leaf 
rake in the forseeable future.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




Wanted Woman Arrested After Demanding Police Remove Unflattering Facebook Photo Details at Boneheads Today, in 1797 "Old Ironsides," the U.S. Navy frigate Constitution, was launched in Boston's harbor.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it. --- Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)
Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two big men standing by the door? They're hushers."
When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family." "Your mother's side or your father's?" Doc asked. "Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family." "Oh, come now," Doc said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?" He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime!"
Thanks to Nanarina for this picture: Click through for the large picture SlopePoint NZ
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Monica Hargrove, Wanted Woman Arrested After Demanding Police Remove Unflattering Facebook Photo Ohio Police say a woman was so upset by the unflattering photo detectives posted to Facebook that she called them and demanded that it be removed, leading to her arrest. "This is a first for us," Denise Alex-Bouzounis, public information officer with the Columbus Police Department, told The Huffington Post. "She really didn't want her face out there for everyone to see." According to Alex-Bouzounis, she posted 34-year-old Monica Hargrove's mug shot to the department's Facebook page on Sept. 10, as part of a weekly roundup called "Warrant Wednesday." "It included her mug shot, her name and information about the crime," said Alex-Bouzounis. The Facebook post read, in part: "On August 30th Hargrove offered a female acquaintance a ride to a pharmacy on E. Main St. to pick up a prescription. After the acquaintance got the prescription and got back in the vehicle, Hargrove robbed the victim at gunpoint, leaving her on the side of the road." According to The Columbus Dispatch, Hargrove had been indicted in the case for aggravated-robbery and kidnapping. The Facebook post, which garnered 64 shares and some 54 thousand pages views, did not go unnoticed by Hargrove. Police say the woman was so upset by the mug shot photo, which she considered unflattering, that she called within 48 hours of the post. "She contacted the detective listed on the Facebook post and said, 'Hey, I want my picture down,'" Alex-Bouzounis said. " [The detective] said, 'Come on in and we'll talk about it.'" And, police say, that is exactly what Hargrove did. "She came in and he put her under arrest," said Alex-Bouzounis. "Warrant Wednesday" has proven to be such a success for the police department that they plan to continue using Facebook to hunt down wanted individuals. "We've had a lot of Facebook followers help turn people in," said Alex-Bouzounis. Tech Support Pits From: Neil Re: Script error fix for IE At 01:05 PM 10/13/2014, you wrote: Dear Webby, I read about the script errors in today's tech support and offer these possible solutions from ms support, and Major Geeks. I went online with a tech at HP and he sent me to http://windowsxp.mvps.org/IEFIX.htm which fixed the problem. He also had me uncheck the box at Tools>Internet Options>Advanced> Enable Third Party Browser Extensions VOILA! No more script errors. Neil Dear Neil I have not used IE for years because of security problems, but I would expect extremely hostile opposition to turning off all the Third Party Browser Extensions, that make IE compatible to the other browsers, or that make life a lot easier. For just one example, turning off RoboForm? NFW!!!!! People, who use RoboForm a dozen times a day would much rather turn off IE. Other subscribers suggested to give Adobe 2 or more MB of disk space to cache files, so that it will pop a pop-up asking whether to stop a script or to continue. With Chrome and FireFox that works OFTEN, but sometimes you still have to hit CTRL - SHIFT - ESC to bring up the task manager and kill the browser. It helps often, but not always. By the way, if you kill the browser that way, both FF and Chrome ask you whether you want to restore your 75 open tabs when you restart the browser. You don't loose anything when you axe those browsers that way. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade fly trap Take any jar and squirt some jelly inside. Put a funnel in the jar. Some flies will go into the jar through the funnel and some will hang around the outside lid of the jar. Vacuum the outside flies, then lift the funnel a bit and vacuum the inside flies that are still flying around, not the ones that have died. When you vacuum the flies from the jar, look around the room, near the ceiling for other flies, and vacuum them too. Now, locate the food source of the flies. It could be a compost pail, a garbage pail, cat litter or even a piece of fruit that has fallen behind the stove. Once you have gotten rid of your current infestation, change the litter, compost, etc. every 6 or 7 days. This will prevent any fly maggots from maturing to the adult stage, because it takes them at least 8 days. You can use a similar process for killing outdoor mosquitoes. Give them one or more dishes of water, placed in the shade, like under a bush. The female will lay her eggs in the water. Change the water every six days, which is not long enough for the eggs to hatch. By jean99 [1] http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

"What happened?" asked the hospital visitor to the heavily bandaged man sitting up in bed. "Well, I went down to Busch Gardens on vacation and decided to take a ride on the Loch Ness Monster... As we came up to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a little sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it but it was very small and I couldn't make it out. I was so curious that I decided to go round again, but we went by so quickly that I couldn't see what the sign said. By now, I was determined to read that sign so I went round a third time. As we reached the top, I stood up in the car to get a better view." "And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?" asked the visitor. "Yes," he said sheepishly, "Remain seated at all times !"
WHILE ON THE FREEWAY in Los Angeles, I was behind a pack of cars. The last driver was on the phone and drifting all over the road. This did not escape the attention of a California Highway Patrol officer, who snuck up behind her and said over his loudspeaker, "If you can't stay in your lane while on the phone, pull over until the call is completed." Immediately eight cars pulled over and one took off like he thought he was faster than the Highway Patrol.


Bears: Bold & Beautiful




Today in 
1797 "Old Ironsides," the U.S. Navy frigate Constitution, 
 was launched in Boston's harbor. 
1805 The Battle of Trafalgar occurred off the coast of Spain. 
 The British defeated the French and Spanish fleet. 
1849 The first tattooed man, James F. O’Connell, was put on 
 exhibition at the Franklin Theatre in New York City, NY. 
1858 The Can-Can was performed for the first time in Paris. 
1879 Thomas Edison invented the electric incandescent lamp. 
 It would last 13 1/2 hours before it would burn out. 
1917 The first U.S. soldiers entered combat during WWI near 
 Nancy, France. 
1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words per 
 minute on a manual typewriter. 
1925 The photoelectric cell was first demonstrated at the 
 Electric Show in New York City, NY. 
1925 The U.S. Treasury Department announced that it had fined 
 29,620 people for prohibition (of alcohol) violations. 
1944 During World War II, the German city of Aachen was 
 captured by U.S. troops. 
1945 Women in France were allowed to vote for the first time. 
1950 Chinese forces invaded Tibet. 
1967 Thousands of demonstrators marched in Washington, DC, in 
 opposition to the Vietnam War. 
1983 The Pentagon reported that 2,000 Marines were headed to 
 Grenada to protect and evacuate Americans living there. 
1986 The U.S. ordered 55 Soviet diplomats to leave. The action 
 was in reaction to the Soviet Union expelling five American 
 diplomats. 
1991 Jesse Turner, an American hostage in Lebanon, was released 
 after nearly five years of being imprisoned. 
1994 North Korea and the U.S. signed an agreement requiring 
 North Korea to halt its nuclear program and agree to inspections. 
2003 The U.S. Senate voted to ban what was known as partial 
 birth abortions. 
2003 North Korea rejected U.S. President George W. Bush's offer 
 of a written pledge not to attack in exchange for the communist 
 nation agreeing to end its nuclear weapons program.
2014  smiled.


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Browser script error 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 20

Dad is OK.
He went up into the mountains today and hiked a bit up there. 
High altitude seems to help him considerably.

He noticed that they had painted his outline on the road, 
where the bimbo's car had tossed him to, with bright red 
paint, to embarrass that bimbo every time she drives by, 
and also to remind all other drivers not to back out without 
checking to see if the sidewalk was clear.

Apparently they now paint the "crime scene" outlines in 
white if there was no blood, and in red if there was blood.

He got a good chuckle out of that.

His injuries are healing nicely, and did not stop him from 
some short hikes.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Boy, 8, crashed suv after drunk dad let him drive Details at Boneheads Today, in 1969 U.S. Vice President Spiro Agnew referred to anti-Vietnam War protesters "an effete corps of impudent snobs." 1968 Jackie Lee Bouvier Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities. --- Sophocles (496 BC - 406 BC)
A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand -- to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The Lamaze instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me."
Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
Thanks to Brenda from TriangleB for this picture of one of her Tennessee Walking Horses and the pup b Click through for the large picture Windows support techs commuting to work
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Frank Gordon Conway, 46, Robinson, PA Drunk dad let 8 year old boy drive An intoxicated Pennsylvania father told police that he “did not see a problem” with allowing his eight-year-old son to drive his SUV, which the boy crashed into a tree late one night, according to court records. Frank Gordon Conway, 46, was allegedly plastered when he let the child take over the driving duties around 9 PM on August 4. The boy, police noted, was seated between his father’s legs in the driver’s seat of a 2014 Jeep Grand Cherokee. The child, who was steering the vehicle and controlling its pedals, told police that he “drove in the yard, on the street and in the parking lot of the V.F.W. before re-entering the yard and hitting the wrong pedal which caused him to strike a tree,” according to an October 14 probable cause affidavit. The car struck a tree near Conway’s home in Robinson, a township about 12 miles west of Pittsburgh. The boy suffered injuries to his face and sternum in the crash, police reported. During a post-accident interview at the Indiana Regional Medical Center, a “highly intoxicated” Conaway told cops that he “did not see a problem” with his son driving the vehicle. Following that admission, “Charges were then filed.” Pictured above, Conway is facing several criminal counts, including misdemeanor child endangerment and reckless endangerment, in connection with the crash. He is scheduled for a November 19 District Court preliminary hearing. Tech Support Pits From: Sandra Re: Script error At 01:05 PM 10/13/2014, you wrote: Dear Webby, More frequently now than ever before, both of my PCs will seemingly lock up (sometimes for hours) while the message says it is running a script...I can't do anything while this is occurring, not even log off or shut down. Control/Alt/Delete doesn't even work. I have to turn off the computer manually and upon start the problem is resolved, but it is annoying. What does 'running a script' even mean? Can I stop allowing any scripts to run, or are they a necessary evil? Sandra Dear Sandra 90% of the time the "script" is Adobe Flash getting choked up because Yahoo fails to provide a complete download of a movie or music or speech. The "script" is waiting for a continuation of some download. I don't think there is anything you can do about that, short of getting a better ISP. The same thing happens with other ISPs too, just not as frequently or as seriously. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mark the "Up" Side on Electrical Plugs Do you have cords to plug into an outlet and are always trying to plug it in upside down, because of one prong being wider than the other? In the correct position, put a dab of white out (liquid or tape) on a dark-colored plug or draw a black spot with a permanent marker on a light-colored or white plug. I always do a tiny heart. Sure has made my life easier - sometimes it's the little things! By Vicky from Central KY http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Lisa for this story: For our 20th anniversary my husband and I vacationed in Hawaii, where we went snorkeling. After an hour in the water, everyone got back on the boat, except for me and one handsome young man. As I continued my underwater exploring, I noticed that everywhere I swam, he swam. I snorkeled for another 40 minutes. So did he. I felt very flattered and, as I took off my fins, asked him coyly why he had stayed in the water for so long. "I'm the lifeguard," he replied matter-of-factly. "I couldn't get out until you did."
There's a little fellow named Junior who hangs out at Tim Alley's Grocery Store. The owner Tim doesn't know what Junior's problem is, but the boys like to tease him. They say he is two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles shy of a barrel. To prove it, sometimes they offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger. One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, Tim got him off to one side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger, or what?" Junior said, "Nah, if I took the dime, they'd quit giving me free nickles!"


WhiteWater Boats




Today in 
1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and 
 Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor 
 Charles VI. 
1774 The new Continental Congress, the governing body of 
 America’s colonies, passed an order proclaiming that all 
 citizens of the colonies "discountenance and discourage 
 all horse racing and all kinds of gaming, cock fighting, 
 exhibitions of shows, plays and other expensive diversions 
 and entertainment." 
1803 The U.S. Senate approved the Louisiana Purchase. 
1818 The U.S. and Great Britain established the boundary between 
 the U.S. and Canada to be the 49th parallel. 
1827 The Battle of Navarino took place during the Greek War for 
 Independence. 
1873 A Hippodrome was opened in New York City by showman 
 Phineus T. (P.T.) Barnum. 
1903 A joint commission ruled in favor of the U.S. concerning 
 a dispute over the boundary between Canada and the District 
 of Alaska. 
1910 A baseball with a cork center was used in a World Series 
 game for the first time. 
1935 Mao Zedong arrived in Hanoi after his Long March that 
 took just over a year. He then set up the Chinese Communist 
 Headquarters. 
1942 Pierre Laval told the French labor that they must serve 
 in Germany. 
1944 Allied forces invaded the Philippines. 
1947 Hollywood came under scrutiny as the House Un-American 
 Activities Committee opened hearings into alleged Communist 
 influence within the motion picture industry. 
1952 The Mau Mau uprising against white settlers began 
 in Kenya. 
1968 Jackie Lee Bouvier Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis. 
1979 The John F. Kennedy Library in Boston was dedicated. 
1993 Attorney General Janet Reno warned the TV industry 
 to limit the violence in their programs. 
1995 Britain, France and the U.S. announced a treaty that 
 banned atomic blasts in the South Pacific. 
2003 A 40-year-old man went over Niagara Falls without 
 safety devices and survived. He was charged with illegally 
 performing a stunt. 
2009 European astronomers discover 32 exoplanets.
2014  smiled.


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FireFox works better without hardware acceleration 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, October 19

Yesterday dad told me on Skype that he had been run over.
He was wearing his bright red windbreaker and was just 
peacefully walking on the sidewalk on the way home from
the store, when some bimbo backed out from the bank,
assuming that she was important enough so that traffic
would halt and she could bully her way into the traffic.

When she hit dad, he got thrown into traffic, which was
slow enough, so that cars could screech to a stop.

When he woke up, he was flat on the road, and an ambulance
driver asking if he remembered his name. Then a cop asked 
him the same. 

He was bloodied on the head and elbows and knees. They
patched that up and then he got hauled to the hospital in
the next town over, where they xrayed him and sent him home.

He was lucky, again, but sure was shook up. Tomorrow, by 
the time you read this, he will be taking a bus up into the
mountains and hike a bit up there, 
where nobody runs him over.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Virginia perv made child porn in house where mom ran daycare center Details at Boneheads Today, in 1933 Basketball was introduced to the 1936 Olympic Games by the Berlin Organization Committee. 1969 U.S. Vice President Spiro Agnew referred to anti-Vietnam War protesters "an effete corps of impudent snobs."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people. --- Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930) Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight? --- Al Boliska
Her husband had passed on and the new widow was so distraught that she sought out a spiritualist who told her that her husband was just fine. She added further that he was eagerly awaiting a reunion with her. "Is there anything he needs ?" the distraught woman asked, between tears. The spiritualist went into a transient state, then replied, "He says he'd love a package of cigarettes." "I'll send a carton immediately." the woman said joyfully. "But did he say where I should send them ?" "No." replied the Seer somberly. "But he didn't ask for matches."
Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot. So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle. Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa! What are we going to do?" Said the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball."
Thanks to Brenda from TriangleB for this picture of one of her Tennessee Walking Horses and the pup b Click through for the large picture Windows support techs commuting to work
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Justin Patrick Boniewicz, 29, Gainesville, Virginia Virginia perv made child porn in house where mom ran daycare center A Gainesville, Virginia, man is suspected of producing child porn at his home -- which is also where his mother ran a licensed daycare center. Justin Patrick Boniewicz, 29, was arrested Friday and charged with production of child pornography, solicitation of child pornography and using communication systems to facilitate offenses with a minor. Boniewicz was arrested after a special victims unit learned about an ongoing investigation involving a 16-year-old New York girl corresponding with Boniewicz, Prince William police spokesman Jonathan Perok told InsideNoVa.com. “As a result of the search of the home, multiple electronic devices containing evidence of child pornography were seized,” Perok said. The suspect allegedly met his underage victim in a chat room in January and conducted a long distance relationship with her. He allegedly encouraged the girl to perform sex shows for him via Skype, according to the Washington Post. There is no evidence any of the children at the daycare center were victimized, according to CSNBaltimore. At least one client of the daycare center doesn't seem worried by the charges. "He's a good boy and his momma runs a good daycare," the unidentified woman told NBC Washington. A woman at the house who didn't give her name told the station the business is doing well despite the allegations against the owner's son. Boniewicz is being held without bond and a court date for him is pending. Tech Support Pits From: DJ Re: Bills Firefox Fix At 01:05 PM 10/13/2014, you wrote: Dear Webby, A hundred thousand kudos, Dear Webby . . . for passing on the "Firefox fix" from Bill. The previous versions of Firefox (v32, 32.01, 32.02, 32.03) were naught but crapware in my view, giving me a world of grief in past weeks, including hijacking my start page, starting up at an aggravating snail's pace, and refusing to exit gracefully when closed (I had to force a close by running CCleaner before I could launch again). And the update to v33 did not install automatically on my XP, Vista or Win7 laptops. Arrgh! After following Bill's advice and turning off the hardware acceleration option, v32.03 launched briskly on Vista and I activated the v33 update through the Help>>About Firefox window. Upon launching v33 the first time my Advanced SystemCare application notified me that some leftover Firefox v32.03 files needed to be disposed of--a total of 246 files to be exact! Is Mozilla bucking to follow in the bloatware tradition Microsoft is so adept at? (Spoken as a user with her two older laptops configured to dual boot into either Ubuntu Linux or Windows.) Thanks again for the daily Tech Support Pits hints. There are days when I don't find time for the humor, but I never delete a Humor Letter issue without reading the Tech Pits. Your advice is more helpful than you'll ever know. Best . . . dj Dear DJ Glad FF is working OK now. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Razor For Removing Fabric Pills It seems like it's always your old favorites that get those awful little fabric pills. Here's a tip that will help your favorite sweater go from worn out to like new again! Take a new disposable razor and lightly go across the garment. Use short strokes while pulling the fabric tight. Don't press too hard and be careful when going near the seams. Stop frequently to blow the pills out of the razor. Your clothes will be looking like new again in no time! By Shawna G. [10] http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The happy couple were being interviewed on their Golden Wedding Anniversary. The society reporter asked, "In all that time, did you ever consider a divorce?" "Oh, no, not divorce, we're too old fashioned for that," the husband replied. "Murder occasionally," the wife offered "but never divorce."
Parents can be very upset when their children don't get into the college of their choice. As an admissions counselor for a state university, I took a call from an irate mother who was demanding to know why her daughter had been turned down. Avoiding any mention of the transcript full of D's, I explained that her daughter just wasn't as "competitive" as the admitted class. "Why doesn't she try anther school for a year and then transfer?" I suggested. "Another school!" howled the Mother. "Have you seen her grades?"


Cuddly Critters




Today in 
1781 British General Charles Lord Cornwallis surrendered 
 to U.S. General George Washington at Yorktown, Virginia. 
 It was to be the last major battle of the American 
 Revolutionary War. 
1812 Napoleon Bonaparte's French forces began their retreat 
 out of Russia after a month of chasing the retreating 
 Russian army. 
1914 In the U.S., government owned vehicles were first used 
 to pick up mail in Washington, DC. 
1915 The U.S. recognized General Venustiano Carranza as the 
 president of Mexico. The U.S. imposed embargo to all parts 
 of Mexico except where Carranza was in control. 
1933 Basketball was introduced to the 1936 Olympic Games by 
 the Berlin Organization Committee. 
1943 The Moscow Conference of Foreign Ministers began in 
 Russia during World War II. Delegates from the U.S.S.R., 
 Great Britain, the U.S., and China met to discuss war aims 
 and cooperation between the nations. 
1944 The play "I Remember Mama" opened on Broadway. Marlon 
 Brando made his debut with his appearance. 
1944 The U.S. Navy announced that black women would be allowed 
 into Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service (WAVES). 
1950 The United Nations forces entered the North Korean 
 capital of Pyongyang. 
1951 U.S. President Truman singed an act officially ending the 
 state of war with Germany. 
1960 The United States imposed an embargo on exports to Cuba 
 covering all commodities except medical supplies and certain 
 food products. 
1969 U.S. Vice President Spiro Agnew referred to anti-Vietnam 
 War protesters "an effete corps of impudent snobs." 
1977 The Concorde made its first landing in New York City. 
1989 The U.S. Senate rejected a proposed constitutional amendment 
 that barred the desecration of the American flag. 
1993 Benazir Bhutto was returned to the premiership of Pakistan. 
1998 Former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson got his boxing 
 license back after he had lost it for biting Evander Holyfield's 
 ear during a fight. 
2003 In London, magician David Blaine emerged from a clear 
 plastic box that had been suspended by a crane over the banks 
 of the Thames River. He survived only on water for 44 days. 
 Blaine had entered the box on September 5. 
2014  smiled.


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FireFox fix 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 18

Thank you Gloria!

Have FUN!
DearWebby




Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Canadian couple ferrying dope from Las Vegas to California Details at Boneheads Today, in 1898 The American flag was raised in Puerto Rico only one year after the Caribbean nation won its independence from Spain.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. --- Chinese Proverb There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking. --- Thomas A. Edison A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her. --- Oscar Wilde
The ninety-five year old woman at the nursing home received a visit from one of her fellow church members. "How are you feeling?" the visitor asked. "Oh," said the lady, "I'm just worried sick!" "What are you worried about, dear?" her friend asked. "You look like you're in good health. They are taking care of you, aren't they?" "Yes, they are taking very good care of me." "Are you in any pain?" she asked. "No, I have never had a pain in years." "Well, what are you worried about?" her friend asked again. The lady leaned back in her rocking chair and slowly explained her major worry. "Every close friend I ever had has already died and gone on to heaven. I'm afraid they're all wondering where I went."
Thanks to Bob for this report: I attended Palm Beach Atlantic College in Florida. It's only about a mile from the ocean, so students frequently go to the beach, even between classes. One day I was meeting with our dean, when he stopped me in the middle of our conversation and asked if I was an "A" student. Puzzled, I replied, "Mostly, why do you ask?" "You don't have a tan," he explained. "Around here, the darker the tan, the lower the grade."
Thanks to Brenda from TriangleB for this picture of one of her Tennessee Walking Horses and the pup b Click through for the large picture Tourists in Las Vegas, looking for anybody with a pool or air conditioning.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to No official mug shots available yet Krista Boseley, 30 and Gilles Lapointe, 61 Wannabe Playboy Model In Ecstasy Trafficking Bust OCTOBER 15--A wannabe Playboy model and a male associate were arrested by federal agents after flying into a California airport from Las Vegas in a private plane loaded with a massive cache of Ecstasy pills and powder, according to court records. Acting on information that the plane may have been involved with the smuggling of drugs or currency, investigators questioned the duo upon landing last Thursday at John Wayne Airport in Orange County. Krista Boseley, 30, and pilot Gilles Lapointe, 61, were both carrying large sums of cash that they claimed to have won the prior evening at the Bellagio casino. The pair, both of whom are Canadian citizens, subsequently had their bags searched after a drug detection dog alerted to the presence of narcotics. As detailed in a U.S. District Court complaint, agents found about 30,000 Ecstasy pills in Lapointe’s luggage, and another 28,000 pills inside the plane. The aircraft (seen below) also contained nearly 90 pounds of powdered Ecstasy and a “GPS Tracker Detector” that, investigators allege, is used by drug smugglers “to determine whether law enforcement has placed a tracking device on their vehicles or planes.” Boseley, pictured above, and Lapointe were arrested after agents found the Ecstasy stash. Boseley denied knowledge of the drugs being trafficked or “anything illegal.” Lapointe, however, appears to have made incriminating statements to agents, though they are not detailed in the felony complaint charging the duo with conspiracy to distribute narcotics. Following Boseley’s arrest, investigators learned that she had been stopped last year by Los Angeles Police officers who found her with more than $40,000 in cash. “Boseley stated at that time that the money belonged to someone else.” She was also found in possession of a receipt showing that Lapointe’s plane had been refueled at the Santa Barbara airport. Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Fixed FireFox At 01:05 PM 10/13/2014, you wrote: Dear Webby, It's Bill again, this time with good news. I discovered that holding down the shift key when stating Firefox, brings up a small option box. Click on "start the program in safe mode". Firefox then appears as it should. Go to the three bar "toolbox" and check "options". Under "advanced" uncheck the box "use hardware acceleration where available". Click OK and restart Firefox. It now runs as the program that we have all come to know and love.... at least it worked for me. Thanks again for your help. All the best. Bill Dear Bill Thank you for that extremely valuable information! Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Natural Remedy for Armpit Odor I come from a tropical country when I was a kid. I remember at school the teacher would make us rub lime with baking soda, that used to work very well! By mremis [1] http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Jill: I just don't understand the attraction golf holds for men. Mary: TELL me about it! I went golfing with my ex one time, and he told me I asked too many questions! Jill: Well, I'm sure you were just trying to understand the game. What questions did you ask? Mary: I thought I asked legitimate questions, like, "Why did you hit the ball into that lake?"
Tom was in his early 50’s retired and started a second career. However, he just couldn't seem to get to work on time. Everyday, 5, 10, 15 minutes late. But he was a good worker, real sharp, so the Boss was in a quandary about how to deal with it. Finally, one day he called him into the office for a talk. "Tom, I have to tell you. I like your work ethic. You do a bang-up job, but you're being late so often is quite bothersome." "Yes, I know Boss, and I am working on it." "Well, good, you are a team player. That's what I like to hear. It's odd though, you're coming in late. I know you're retired from the Air Force. What did they say if you came in late there?" They said, "Good morning, General. Here is your coffee!"


Dirigibles




Today in 
1469 Ferdinand of Aragon married Isabella of Castile. The 
 marriage united all the dominions of Spain. 
1685 King Louis XIV of France revoked the Edict of Nantes, 
 which had established the legal toleration of the 
 Protestant population. 
1767 The Mason-Dixon line was agreed upon. It was the 
 boundary between Maryland and Pennsylvania. 
1842 Samuel Finley Breese Morse laid his first telegraph 
 cable. 
1860 British troops burned the Yuanmingyuan at the end of 
 the Second Opium War. 
1867 The U.S. took formal possession of Alaska from Russia. 
 The land was purchased of a total of $7 million dollars 
 (2 cents per acre). 
1892 The first long-distance telephone line between Chicago, 
 IL, and New York City, NY, was opened. 
1898 The American flag was raised in Puerto Rico only one 
 year after the Caribbean nation won its independence from 
 Spain. 
1929 The Judicial Committee of England’s Privy Council ruled 
 that women were to be considered as persons in Canada. 
1944 Czechoslovakia was invaded by the Soviets during WWII. 
1956 NFL commissioner Bert Bell disallowed the use of radio-
 equipped helmets by NFL quarterbacks. 
1958 The first computer-arranged marriage took place on Art 
 Linkletter's show. 
1969 The U.S. government banned artificial sweeteners due to 
 evidence that they caused cancer. 
1970 Quebec's minister of labor was found strangled to death 
 after eight days of being held captive by the Quebec 
 Liberation Front (FLQ). 
1983 General Motors agreed to hire more women and minorities 
 for five years as part of a settlement with the Equal 
 Employment Opportunity Commission. 
1985 South African authorities hanged black activist Benjamin 
 Moloise. Moloise had been convicted of murdering a police 
 officer. 
1989 Egon Krenz became the leader of East Germany after Erich 
 Honecker was ousted. Honeker had been in power for 18 years. 
1997 A monument honoring U.S. servicewomen, past and present, 
 was dedicated at Arlington National Cemetery. 
2013 Saudi Arabia became the first nation to reject a seat 
 on the United Nations Security Council. Jordan took the 
seat on December 6.
2014  smiled.


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Fake FireFox update and infection 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 17
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby




Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Principal arrested for Sexual Relations With Teen Details at Boneheads Today, in 1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY. It was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another. --- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg The sound of a kiss is not so loud as that of a cannon, but its echo lasts a great deal longer. --- Oliver Wendell Holmes A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be. --- Socratex
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately she began flirting at him and and flattering him outrageously. He liked the young lady, but he was taken a bit aback by her fast and ardent pitch. Hhe was really amazed when after 30 minutes she seriously proposed marriage. "Look," he said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other." "You're wrong," the young lady declared. "For the past 5 years I've been working in the back office at the bank where you have your account. I know all I ned to know about you."
Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
Thanks to Brenda from TriangleB for this picture of one of her Tennessee Walking Horses and the pup b Click through for the large picture Dolly Dapples, and the pup hauling a BIG stick
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Phillip Brock II, 37, in Troy, Missouri Principal arrested for Sexual Relations With Teen An elementary school principal in Troy, Missouri, is behind bars after being charged with 10 counts of sexual contact with a teenager. Phillip Brock II, 37, the principal of William Cappel Elementary School, was arrested Thursday after the alleged underage victim told police he had engaged in sexual contact with the suspect at least 20 times since May The student said that the last encounter was Sept. 14, KMOV.com reports. The teenager consented to a search of his cellphone, and police found text messages sent from Brock, according to the Troy Police Department. Armed with a search warrant, officials seized several items from Brock's home in Lincoln County, Missouri. Brock is currently at the Lincoln County Jail in lieu of $500,000 bond. He has been placed on paid administrative leave by the Lincoln County R-III School District. Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Fake FireFox At 01:05 PM 10/13/2014, you wrote: Dear Webby, Firefox worked great until I installed the latest version 32.0. Now, all I get is a blank screen with no icons or printing. I also downloaded a virus with this version. It took Avast hours to get rid of it. I am using Windows 7. I also upgraded Firefox on my notebook which uses Windows XP. It works fine. I tried system restore and that did nothing. I really need your help. Thanks. Bill Dear Bill If you got a virus alongside with a fake update, then you got a fake update from something, that was sneakier than AVAST. By the way, the current version is 34, not 32. I am using 33 and will update to 34 soon. Your 32 is just a trojan. The real 32 is at Firefox 32.0.3 (That is the complete installer) Obviously, AVAST did not stop that infection from coming in, and most likely, it is still there, just fooling Avast. Try Malwarebytes from http://webby.com/malwarebytes to clean up. Use the free trial. Do I sound like a broken record? After that, get a legitimate Firefox from Firefox directly, not from a virus distributor. All versions of FireFox from 0.8 to 34 are at https://ftp.mozilla.org/pub/mozilla.org/firefox/releases/ Just use Chrome to download one. You might also want to consider getting something a bit stronger than AVAST, for example McAfee. Do I sound like a broken record? Good Luck! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Natural Remedy for Armpit Odor I come from a tropical country when I was a kid. I remember at school the teacher would make us rub lime with baking soda, that used to work very well! By mremis [1] http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A Chicago salesman on a business trip to Boston had a few hours to kill before catching a plane home. Remembering an old friend's advice to try some broiled scrod, a favorite fish in Boston, he hopped into a cab and asked the driver, "Say, do you know where I could get scrod around here?" The driver replied, "Pal, I've heard that question a thousand times, but this is the first time, ever, in the passive pluperfect subjunctive."
An office technician got a call from a computer user. The user told the tech that her computer was not working. She described the problem and the tech concluded that her com- puter needed to be brought in and serviced. He told her, "Unplug the power cord and bring it up here and I'll fix it for you." About ten minutes later she showed up at his door, with the electrical cord in her hand.


Longest Rivers




Today in 
1739 Thomas Coram was granted a Royal Charter from George II 
 so a "hospital for the maintenance and education of exposed 
 and deserted young children" in Londond, England. 
1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY. 
 It was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War. 
1888 The first issue of "National Geographic Magazine"
1931 Al Capone was convicted on income tax evasion and was 
 sentenced to 11 years in prison. He was released in 1939. 
1933 Dr. Albert Einstein moved to Princeton, NJ, after 
 leaving Germany. 
1945 Colonel Juan Peron became the dictator of Argentina 
 after staging a coup in Buenos Aires. 
1973 The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries 
 (OPEC) began an oil-embargo against several countries 
 including the U.S. and Great Britain. The incident 
 stemmed from Western support of Israel when Egypt and 
 Syria attacked the nation on October 6, 1973. The 
 embargo lasted until March of 1974. 
1978 U.S. President Carter signed a bill that restored 
 full U.S. citizenship rights to Confederate President 
 Jefferson Davis. 
1979 Mother Teresa of India was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. 
1987 U.S. First Lady Nancy Reagan underwent a modified 
 radical mastectomy at Bethesda Naval Hospital in Maryland. 
1989 An earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter Scale hit 
 the San Francisco Bay area in California. The quake caused 
 about 67 deaths, 3,000 injuries, and damages up to 
 $7 billion. 
1994 Israel and Jordan initialed a draft peace treaty. 
1994 The Angolan government and rebels agreed to a peace 
 treaty that ended their 19 years of civil war. 
1997 The remains of revolutionary Ernesto "Che" Guevara 
 were laid to rest in his adopted Cuba, 30 years after 
 his execution in Bolivia. 
2000 In New York City, Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum opened 
 to the public. The 42nd Street location joined Tussaud's 
 other exhibitions already in London, Hong Kong, Amsterdam 
 and Las Vegas. 
2001 Israel's tourism minister was killed. A radical 
 Palestinian faction claimed that it had carried out the 
 assassination to avenge the killing of its leader by 
 Israel 2 months earlier. 
2001 Pakistan placed its armed forces on high alert because 
 of troop movements by India in the disputed territory of 
 Kashmir. India said that the movements were part of a 
 normal troop rotation. 
2001 Italian priest Giuseppe "Beppe" Pierantoni was kidnapped 
 by the terrorist group the "Pentagon." He was released on 
 April 8, 2002. 
2003 In the U.S., the Food and Drug Administration approved 
 a drug, known as memantine, to help people with Alzheimer's 
 symptoms. 
2003 In Taipei, Taiwan, construction crews finished 
 1,676-foot-tall-building called Taipei 101. The building 
 was planned to open for business in 2004. 
2003 In northwest England, the Carnforth railway station 
 reopened as a heritage center. 
2014  smiled.


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When you can't get McAfee 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 16

Have FUN!
DearWebby




Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Italian nurse arrested for killing 38 patients Details at Boneheads Today, in 1955 Mrs. Jules Lederer replaced Ruth Crowley in newspapers using the name Ann Landers.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Speak the truth, but leave immediately after. --- Slovenian Proverb
A little girl asked her mother for a dollar to give to an old lady in the park. Her mother was touched by the child's kindness and gave her the required sum. "There you are, my dear," said the mother. "But, tell me, isn't the lady able to work any more?" "Oh yes," came the reply. "She sells candy."
Maggie has a particularly outrageous rapport with her son. He argues and fights with her all the time. Finally having had enough, she takes her son to a psychologist. After two sessions, the doctor speaks with the mother. "Madam, your son suffers from an Oedipus Complex." "Oedipus, Schmoedipus," replies Maggie, "It's all the same to me. The important thing is that he loves his mother!"
Click through for the large picture
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Daniela Poggiali,42, Lugo, Italy Italian nurse arrested for killing 38 patients A nurse in Italy is accused of killing 38 patients because she thought they were “annoying.” Daniela Poggiali was arrested Friday on murder charges, Italian newspaper Corriere di Bologna reports. The 42-year-old nurse caught the attention of authorities after the April death of 78-year-old Rosa Calderoni, according to the Independent’s translation of Italian Calderoni was admitted to a hospital in the town of Lugo with a diabetes-related ailment, and died from what officials believe was a fatal injection of potassium chloride. Prosecutors say that their investigation is more difficult because potassium chloride fades from the bloodstream within a couple days, making it hard to detect. Calderoni’s death occurred while Poggiali was on duty, and the resulting investigation found that 37 other patients also died mysteriously on her watch. Authorities now suspect that Poggiali may have killed them all because she thought that they or their families were irritating. Police say the nurse’s cell phone included a photo of her making the thumbs-up sign next to a patient’s corpse, according to the New York Post. She may face additional charges for disrespecting the dead. Tech Support Pits From: Attila Re: Can't download McAfee At 01:05 PM 10/13/2014, you wrote: Dear Webby, Thanks for your help - but I still can't click on any of the McAfee ads. Tried on my Dell desktop on Google- no clickability. Sent it to yahoo-same dell no response as well. Tried it on a Macbook and I-Pad - Still no response. I have no problem clicking on any thing else. Any suggestions? Best wishes as always to you and Ophelia! The two best newsletters anywhere! Attila Dear Attila The links are a disguise to get past many viruses and trojans that block you from getting name brand protection, and they are: http://webby.com/mac that goes to http://www.mcafeestore.com/store/mcafee ... ent/en_US/ pbPage.aff_us_total_protection?affiliateprogramtype=833&utm_source= ond&utm_medium=affiliate&ClickID=cwi7qwafaplaanl4zezlikxqvfnw77vvezki &resid=VDyGQwrR-gIAABaN9ecAAAAU&rests=1413442289328 The Buy Now in there goes to the cart with the $44.99 Total Protection https://www.mcafeestore.com/store?Action=DisplayPage&Locale=en_US &SiteID=mcafeeus&id=QuickBuyCartPage If none of that works, then your infection blocks anything McAfee related. That is actually quite common. The first thing most serious Trojans and viruses do is block all the big name brand anti-virus programs. Try MalwareBytes at http://webby.com/malwarebytes. Their "Cameleon" usually gets through anyway, and quite often manages to clean up. After that you should be able to download McAfee safely. Good Luck! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reuse Disposable Vacuum Bags I have an expensive vacuum cleaner that takes expensive bags. To save on buying new bags for my vacuum, I simply cut the bottom off the bag, empty it, and duct tape the bottom shut. Voila! I have a recycled vacuum cleaner bag. By Dee from Salem, VA http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Two buddies, Tony and Billy, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Billy throws up all over himself. "Oh, no. Now Jane will kill me!" Tony says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket, tell Jane that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill." So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker. Eventually, Billy rolls into home and his Jane starts to give him a bad time. "You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!" Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, he says: "Nowainaminit,I can e'splain everything! Itsh not what you think. I only had a couple drinks. But this other guy got sick on me... he'd had one too many and he just couldn't hold his liquor. He said he was very sorry an' gave me $20 bucks for the cleaning bill!" Jane looks in the breast pocket and says: "But this is forty bucks." "Oh, yeah... I almos' forgot" says Billy, "he crapped in my pants, too....!!" He never saw the frying pan, but vaguely remembers hearing a gong.
Thanks to Dianne for this story: As the lone female in our household, I find that certain male habits have really begun to get on my nerves. One day, I emerged from my teenage son's bathroom completely exasperated when I bumped into my husband. "What is it with guys that they won't replace the toiler paper!" I raged. "I know." he said, nodding in agreement. "I noticed that too when I was just in there."


Longest Rivers




Today in 
1701 The Collegiate School was founded in Killingworth, CT. 
 The school moved to New Haven in 1745 and changed its name 
 to Yale College. 
1829 In Boston, MA, the first modern hotel in America opened. 
 The Tremont Hotel had 170 rooms that rented for $2 a day 
 and included four meals. 
1859 Abolitionist John Brown led a raid on Harper's Ferry, 
 VA (now located in West Virginia). 
1869 A hotel in Boston became the first in the U.S. to 
 install indoor plumbing. 
1916 Margaret Sanger opened the first birth control clinic 
 in New York City, NY. 
1923 Walt Disney contracted with M.J. Winkler to distribute 
 the Alice Comedies. This event is recognized as the start 
 of the Disney Company. 
1928 Marvin Pipkin received a patent for the frosted electric 
 light bulb. 
1941 The Nazis advanced to within 60 miles of Moscow. 
1941 Romanians entered Odessa, USSR, and began exterminating 
 150,000 Jews. 
1943 Chicago's new subway system was officially opened.
1955 Mrs. Jules Lederer replaced Ruth Crowley in newspapers 
 using the name Ann Landers. 
1962 U.S. President Kennedy was informed that there were 
 missile bases in Cuba, beginning the Cuban missile crisis. 
1964 China detonated its first atomic bomb becoming the 
 world's fifth nuclear power. 
1967 NATO headquarters opened in Brussels. 
1970 Anwar Sadat was elected president of Egypt to succeed 
 Gamal Abdel Nassar. 
1973 Henry Kissinger and Le Duc Tho were named winners of 
 the Nobel Peace Prize. The Vietnamese official declined 
 the award. 
1982 China announced that it had successfully fired a 
 ballistic missile from a submarine. 
1987 Rescuers freed Jessica McClure from the abandoned well 
 that she had fallen into in Midland, TX. she was trapped 
 for 58 hours. 
1993 The U.N. Security Council approved the deployment of 
 U.S. warships to enforce a blockade on Haiti to increase 
 pressure on the controlling military leaders. 
1995 The "Million Man March" took place in Washington, DC. 
1997 Charles M. Schulz and his wife Jeannie announced that 
 they would give $1 million toward the construction of a 
 D-Day memorial to be placed in Virginia. 
2000 It was announced that Chevron Corp. would be buying 
 Texaco Inc. for $35 billion. The combined company was 
 called Chevron Texaco Corp. and became the 4th largest 
 oil company in the world. 
2002 It was reported that North Korea had told the U.S. 
 that it had a secret nuclear weapons program in violation 
 of an 1994 agreement with the U.S. 
2002 The Arthur Andersen accounting firm was sentenced to 
 five years probation and fined $500,000 for obstructing 
 a federeal investigation of the energy company Enron. 
2014  smiled.


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How long have Flashlight Trojans been around 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 15

Have FUN!
DearWebby




Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Wichita man, who raped a 100 year old woman. Details at Boneheads Today, in 2001 NASA's Galileo spacecraft passed within 112 miles of Jupiter's moon Io. Nobody was out on that day.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see. --- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860)
For his wife's birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: "You may be getting older But you are getting better." Asked how he wanted the message arranged, he said, "Just put 'You are not getting older' at the top and 'You are just getting better' at the bottom." It wasn't until the good doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered that the cake read: YOU MAY BE GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP YOU ARE GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM
>From Bill One of my jobs in the Army is to give service members and their families tours of the demilitarized zone in South Korea. Before taking people to a lookout point to view North Korea, we warn visitors to watch their heads climbing the stairs, as there is a low overhang. The tour guide, first to the top, gets to see how many people have not heeded his advice. On one tour, I watched almost an entire unit hit their heads one after another as they came up the stairs. Curious, I asked their commander what unit they were from. "Military intelligence," he replied.
Click through for the large picture
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kasey Nesbitt, 35, Wichita, Kansas Wichita man arrested for raping a 100-year-old woman A 35-year-old man has been arrested in connection with the sexual assault last week of a 100-year-old woman, Wichita police said Friday. The man was booked into the Sedgwick County Jail on suspicion of rape and aggravated burglary, Wichita police Capt. Troy Livingston said. Police would not name the man, but jail and police records identified him as Kasey Nesbitt of Wichita. He was arrested Monday in connection with a separate burglary case, jail records show. Nesbitt was arrested Thursday in connection with the woman’s rape and the burglary of her home. He was already in custody at the jail at the time for another burglary, by the time they re-arrested him on the woman's rape, records show. Kansas Department of Corrections records show Nesbitt has been in and out of prison since 2000, mostly on burglary and theft convictions. The assault occurred overnight on Monday and Tuesday of last week, Livingston said. The woman walked to a neighbor’s house at about 7:15 a.m. Sept. 30 and told the neighbor there were people inside her house in the 800 block of South Crestway. “She’s a strong and brave woman who was able to give us information,” Livingston said of the victim. “She seems to be doing fine, and her family is taking care of her.” Police soon had a suspect, but waited to make an arrest while they collected more evidence, police said. The woman, who lives alone, said she was awakened about 9 p.m. by the intruders inside her house, police said. One or more burglars forced their way inside through a back door. They remained in the house for several hours. Investigators are still trying to determine whether any property was taken. “This case was harder for our detectives to even grasp, not just the detectives on the case but all the detectives,” Livingston said. “They were all pretty shocked by this.” Tech Support Pits From: Anne Re: How long have Flashlight Trojans been around? At 01:05 PM 10/13/2014, you wrote: Dear Webby, Thank you so much for this info. I already have it on my phone. I put it on probably a year ago. Was it safe then? Where and how would I search for it, since I already have it on? I have a 5s iPhone. Anne Dear Anne As mentioned, the FTC got uptight about it in the summer of 2013, partly because the Government didn't think it was right that somebody else beside them was spying on the tax payers. Considering the speed of the Government, it would be safe and prudent to assume, that the flashlight apps have been around for probably about 3 or more years before that. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Hairspray for Removing Nail Polish from Carpet I hope this helps, I knocked over a container of nail polishes onto my light blue bedroom carpet. Needless to say some of them broke, hot pinks, lime greens, etc. After I blotted up what I could with a napkin, I used a bottle of liquid hairspray, a brush, and after scrubbing a bit it came out in no time. Be generous with the hairspray, I literally poured it on. Any kind will do. By Sandy F. [1] http://www. thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning. "I'm sorry," she said, "Mr. Bradford's on another line." "This is Mr. Ingram's office," the caller said. "We'd like to know if he's bullish or bearish right now." "He's talking to his wife," the secretary replied. "Right now I'd say he's sheepish."
Pupil: My teacher was mad with me because I didn't know where the Rockies were. Mother: Well next time remember where you put things!


Ugly foods




Today in 
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte began his exile on the remote 
 island of St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean. 
1860 Grace Bedell, 11 years old, wrote a letter to 
 presidential candidate Abraham Lincoln. The letter stated 
 that Lincoln would look better if he would grow a beard. 
1892 The U.S. government announced that the land in the 
 western Montana was open to settlers. The 1.8 million acres 
 were bought from the Crow Indians for 50 cents per acre. 
1937 "To Have and Have Not" by Ernest Hemingway was published 
 for the first time. 
1945 Pierre Laval, the former premier of Vichy France, was 
 executed for treason. 
1946 Hermann Goering, a Nazi war criminal and founder of 
 the Gestapo, poisoned himself just hours before his 
 scheduled execution. 
1964 It was announced that Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev 
 had been removed from power. He was replaced with 
 Alexei N. Kosygin. 
1983 U.S. Marines killed five snipers who had pinned them 
 down in Beirut International Airport. 
1984 The Freedom of Information Act was passed. 
1989 Wayne Gretzky, while playing for the Los Angeles Kings, 
 surpassed Gordie Howe's NHL scoring record of 1,850 
 career points. 
1993 U.S. President Clinton sent warships to enforce trade 
 sanctions that had been imposed on Haitian military rulers. 
1993 South Africa's President F.W. de Klerk and African 
 National Congress President Nelson Mandela were named winners 
 of the Nobel Peace Prize for their efforts to end the 
 apartheid system in South Africa. 
1997 British Royal Air Force pilot Andy Green broke the 
 land-speed record by driving a jet-powered car faster 
 than the speed of sound. 
1997 The Cassini-Huygens mission was launched from Cape 
 Canaveral, FL. On January 14, 2005, a probe sent back 
 pictures of Saturn's moon Titan during and after landing. 
1998 The U.N. condemned the U.S. economic embargo on Cuba 
 for the seventh year in a row. 
2001 NASA's Galileo spacecraft passed within 112 miles of 
 Jupiter's moon Io. Nobody was out on that day.
2014  smiled.


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Is the Flashlight App a Trojan or a hoax? 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 14

Have FUN!
DearWebby




Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Oregon woman who played zombie Details at Boneheads Today, in 1954 C.B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments", starring Charlton Heston, began filming in Egypt. The epic had a cast of 25,000 people.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I always find it more difficult to say the things I mean than the things I don't. --- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965) Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? --- Jay Leno (1950 - ) Let him that would move the world, first move himself." --- Socrates
The church next door welcomes all denominations, but mainly they prefer fifties and twenties.
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?" "Next time you go visit daddy, ask him."
Cindy is taking the driving portion of her driver's license exam. She handles most of the maneuvers quite well. She has a little trouble parallel parking, however, and winds up a couple of feet from the curb. "Could you get a little closer?" the examiner asks. Cindy cheerfully unbuckles her seat belt and slides over to the examiner. "Now what?"
Click through for the large picture
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jessica Rocha, Reedsport, Oregon Woman says she was playing 'the zombie game' when she broke into another woman's home and bit her on the face COOS BAY, Ore. (AP) — Authorities in Oregon say a woman has been arrested after breaking in to a house, pushing a woman down the stairs, pulling her hair, biting her on the face and telling her victim she was playing "the zombie game." Coos County sheriff's Sgt. Pat Downing says Jessica Rocha broke into the home in coastal city of Lakeside early Monday. He says she was drunk and likely high. Downing says there is no definite explanation for the zombie reference. He says Rocha had property with a sticker that referenced a video game featuring zombies. Deputies also speculate she may have been influenced by a scarecrow contest in the area. She is held on $77,500 bail and faces arraignment Monday on multiple charges, including assault. Tech Support Pits From: Lily Re: Is it true about Flashlight Trojans? At 01:05 PM 10/13/2014, you wrote: Dear Webby, LOVE your newsletter, I've been a subscriber for years but this is the first time that I've written you. I wanted to ask if its really true about the flashlight app. That is really scary. Thanks, Lily Dear Lily Yes, it is true. If your flashlight app is more than 2 KB, then you now have a Trojan deep down in the operating system, that is mining and transmitting your data. The Flashlight apps also track and report your location! Somebody KNOWS when you enter the bakery isle at Walmart or walk past the porn shop! If you have never used your phone to pay bills or do any bank or credit card stuff, then it just finks on all your addresses, and probably tells all of them what kind of neat flashlight it is. And of course it reports your exact location! Even the FTC got uptight about that last summer. If you have or plan to use your phone for any banking, save your pictures and other data on http://DropBox.com, and get your phone provider to reset it to factory standard, because the OS is infected. The alternative is to destroy the silly thing and next time refrain from downloading any large app. An honest flashlight app is only 1 - 2 KB. It is just a blank page flashing faster than the eye can see, just like the LED traffic lights and vehicle brake lights. It does not take a Megabyte for that. If you see the file size to be large, then the app has a malicious payload. Music and movies of course are large, but those are usually clean. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Wipe Down Library Books When I get books from the library, I use a spray bottle with vinegar and spray the book and wipe it down with a paper towel. The vinegar kills germs and you can see a lot of dirt removed on the paper towel. This keeps a lot of germs out of my house and off my hands. By fancy61 [6] http://www. thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A young couple decided they needed an au pair, and arranged for a girl to come over from Northern Finland. When she arrived, the wife asked, "Can you cook?" "No," said the girl, "My mother always did that." "Can you do housework?" asked the wife. "No, my oldest sister always did that." "Well," said the wife, "You'd better just look after the children." "I don't know how," said the girl. "My youngest sister always did that." "What can you do, then?" asked the wife, in desperation. "Well," said the Finnish girl brightly, "I can milk reindeer."
A farmer lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day he called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens." "What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff. "I don't care, just do something about those drivers." So the next day he had the county go out and put up a sign that said: SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING. Three days later the farmer called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The 'school crossing sign seems to make them go faster." So, again, the sheriff sends out the county and they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY. And that really sped them up. So the farmer called and called and called everyday for three weeks. Finally, he asked the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good. Is it all right for me to put up my own sign?" The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own sign." He was going to let the farmer do just about anything in order to have him stop calling. Well, the sheriff got no more calls from the farmer. Three weeks after the farmers last call, the sheriff decided to call him. "How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?" "Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy." And he hung up the phone. The sheriff thought to himself, "I'd better go to that farmer's house and look at that sign. There might be something there that WE could use to slow down drivers." So the sheriff drove out to the farmer's house, and he saw the sign. It was a whole sheet of plywood. And written in large yellow letters were the words: SLOW: NUDIST COLONY.


Boll Weevil Song



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YffLGzIlHwY

Today in 
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman 
 forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II 
 of England. 
1879 Thomas Edison signed an agreement with Jose D. Husbands 
 for the sale of Edison telephones in Chile. 
1887 Thomas Edison and George E. Gouraud reached an agreement 
 for the international marketing rights for the phonograph. 
1912 Theodore Roosevelt was shot while campaigning in 
 Milwaukee, WI. Roosevelt's wound in the chest was not 
 serious and he continued with his planned speech. William 
 Schrenk was captured at the scene of the shooting. 
1922 Lieutenant Lester James Maitland set a new airplane 
 speed record when he reached a speed of 216.1 miles-per-hour. 
1926 The book "Winnie-the-Pooh," by A.A. Milne, made its debut. 
1930 Ethel Merman debuted on Broadway in "Girl Crazy." 
1933 Nazi Germany announced that it was withdrawing from the 
 League of Nations. 
1943 The Radio Corporation of America finalized the sale of 
 the NBC Blue radio network. Edward J. Noble paid $8 million 
 for the network that was renamed American Broadcasting Company. 
1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel committed suicide 
 rather than face execution after being accused of conspiring 
 against Adolf Hitler and the execution that would follow. 
1944 During World War II, the Second British Parachute 
 Brigade liberated the city of Athens. 
1947 Over Rogers Dry Lake in Southern California, pilot Chuck 
 Yeager flew the Bell X-1 rocket plane and became the first 
 American to break the sound barrier. German ME111 broke the
 sound barrier in 1945, but only downwind.
1954 C.B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments", starring Charlton 
 Heston, began filming in Egypt. The epic had a cast of 25,000 
 people. 
1960 U.S. presidential candidate John F. Kennedy first 
 suggested the idea of a Peace Corps. 
1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis began when U.S. reconnaissance 
 aircrafts photographed Soviet construction of intermediate-
 range missile sites in Cuba. 
1964 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was awarded the Nobel Peace 
 Prize for his non-violent resistance to racial prejudice 
 in America. He was the youngest person to receive the award. 
1968 The first live telecast to come from a manned U.S. 
 spacecraft was transmitted from Apollo 7. 
1970 Anwar el-Sadat became president of Egypt following the 
 death of President Nasser. 
1986 Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev charged that the U.S. 
 wanted to "bleed the Soviet Union economically" with the 
 arms race in space. 
1987 Jessica McClure, 18 months old, fell down an abandoned 
 well in Midland, TX. The rescue took 58 hours. 
2002 Britain stripped power from the Catholic and Protestant 
 politicians of Northern Ireland. Britain resumed sole 
 responsibility for running Northern Ireland. 
2014  smiled.


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Flashlight App trojan 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 13

Monday is Thanksgiving Day in Canada,
also called St Turkey Day.
Because Canada was discovered and colonized by Hagar
the Horrible's Great-Grandfather 500 years before Columbus
found the Caribbean islands, Canada celebrates Thanksgiving
earlier than the US. The fact that barbecuing at the US
Thanksgiving date would be rather chilli here in the North, 
might have something to do with that too.
So, don't expect any replies from anybody in Canada on Monday.
Thanksgiving is a Stat Holiday.

Ironically, in the US the Canadian Thanksgiving Day is 
celebrated as Columbus day.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Toledo man, who admitted punching 1 year old girl Details at Boneheads Today, in 1989 - U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow of the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting. --- Charles Bukowski (1920 - 1994) Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)
out of Atlanta comes this comment: Americans should be ashamed ! We've eaten so many billions of Buffalo wings, that many kids today have never seen a buffalo fly!
A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be "Macho" and went out walking with one of the hired hands. Walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried to impress the ranch hand and started a conversation. "Say, look at that big bunch of cows." The hired hand replied, "Not 'bunch,' but 'herd'." "Heard what?" "Herd of cows." "Sure, I've heard of cows. There's a big bunch of 'em right over there!"
Click through for the large picture Monarchs are endangered! Dorothy's Monarch way station: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/453811682/milkweed-for-monarchs-butterfly-garden/posts Petition to put monarchs onto the Endangered list
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Markeese Cummings, 24, Toledo, Ohio Toledo man admits punching 1 year old girl A man in Toledo, Ohio, is in jail after allegedly admitting that he punched a 1-year-old girl after having sex with her mother. The incident happened Monday evening when Markeese Cummings, 24, visited the home of Simone Day, 20. Day took her daughter into a different room so she and Cummings could have privacy. Afterwards, she took a shower while Cummings took the girl downstairs to get himself a drink, NBC24.com reports. The girl was crying for her mother when Cummings held her in his arms. When the girl wouldn't stop her tears, Cummings allegedly told police he lost his temper and punched the baby. The baby was hit “on the right side of her face with a closed fist causing serious harm," according to TSG. The exact injuries were not made public, but Cummings was charged with felonious assault and bail was initially set at $75,000. Cummings has previously been arrested for robbery, disorderly conduct, and underage drinking. Both the suspect and the victim's mother insisted to police they are "sexual partners only", not friends, according to the police report. Tech Support Pits From: Jaye Re: Fixed: Highlighted words and pop-ups Dear webby, Took your advice and I downloaded Malware Bytes, it took 2 hours to scan for 892 infections , Not to mention, Trojans, trying to enter... INFECTIONS GONE!!!!! OMG, you would not believe how much infection was in my Computer. It roams my Computer constantly searching out Malware... My Computer is running so smooth again...Now, not one POP-UP either. Now my internet is clear of Infections...For $24.95 a year for three Computers is a fabulous deal not to mention a totally effective Kill engine. That's what happens when 2 kids play games on a Computer. I cannot thank you enuf for your all your help over the years. I would recommend that everyone download it. Jaye Dear Jaye Glad your machine is clean now! I have seen MalwareBytes in action. That is why I have recommended it for quite some time. Just in >From Lillemor If you use a flashlight app on a smart-phone, watch out! It probably is a trojan! Flashlight app alert Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mark Top of Cans in Drawers Right now, the cabinet fronts of the kitchen are coming off, I mean literally falling off! So I moved my food to the dresser where I keep my dishes for now. Not wanting to take them all out to find just one, I marked them on the top. This helped me and I hope it will help you. By Sandi/Poor But Proud [409] http://www. thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Roland went to police station to report his missing wife: Roland : I’ve lost my wife, she went shopping yesterday and has still not come home. Sergeant : What is her height ? Roland : Oh, 5 something . . . Sergeant : Build? Roland : Not slim, kinda, but not really fat. Sergeant : Color of eyes? Roland : Never noticed. Sergeant : Color of hair? Roland : Changes according to season. Sergeant : What was she wearing? Roland : Dress/suit/blue jeans -- I don’t remember exactly. Sergeant : Did she go in a car? Roland : yes. Sergeant : What kind of car was it? Roland : 2015 Corvette Stingray LT3 with the Z51 Performance Package, shark gray metallic paint, with the 6.2 litre V8 engine with Direct Injection generating 460 HP. 8-speed paddle-shift automatic transmission, and GT bucket seats, and has a very thin scratch from a shopping cart on the left door. (at this a tear ran down Roland's cheek) Sergeant : Don't worry sir. We’ll find your car
Supposedly a true story, but it sounds like an Urban Legend: A British doctor examining a young woman with abdominal pains asked her if she was sexually active. She said that she wasn't. A later examination showed that she was pregnant. Asked why she said that she was not sexually active, the woman replied: "I'm not, I just lie there." When asked if she knew who the father was, with a puzzled look she replied, "No. Who?"


Boll Weevil Song



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YffLGzIlHwY

Today in 
1775 - The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction 
 of a naval fleet. 
1792 - The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in 
 Washington, DC. The building was torched by Caanucks in the 
 War of 1812 and became known as the White House after it was
 fixed up and white-washed in 1818. 
1812 - American forces were defeated at the Battle of 
 Queenstown Heights. The British victory effectively ended 
 any further U.S. invasion of Canada. 
1843 - B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded 
 by Henry Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY. 
1854 - The state of Texas ratified a state constitution. 
1943 - During World War II, Italy turned coats, signed an 
 armistice with  the Allies and declared war on Germany. 
1944 - American troops entered Aachen, Germany during WWII. 
1944 - During World War II, British and Greek advance units 
 landed at Piraeus. 
1951 - In Atlanta, GA, a football with a rubber covering was 
 used for the first time. Georgia Tech beat Louisiana State 25-7. 
1953 - An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel Bagno. 
1957 - Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced the Ford Edsel 
 on an hour long special. 
1962 - "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" opened on Broadway. 
1981 - Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as 
 the new president one week after Anwar Sadat was assassinated. 
1989 - U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow 
 of the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega. 
1992 - A commercial flight record was set by an Air France 
 supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours and 
 one minute. 
2010 - Near Copiapó, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground 
 in San José Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days 
 underground. 
2014  smiled.


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Highlighted words and pop-up ads 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 9


Today I have to go to Calgary for more injections into
the eyeballs. That means no Friday, Saturday or Sunday 
newsletters will get sent out.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Robber, who attempted to hold up boxing champion clerk, got clobbered Details at Boneheads Today, in 1855 Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
People want economy and they will pay any price to get it. --- Lee Iacocca (1924 - ) We are the people our parents warned us about. --- Jimmy Buffett
A programmer, an accountant and a lawyer are all standing around at a party discussing if it's better to have a wife or a girlfriend. The accountant says, "A girlfriend! No commitments, no hassles. When you get tired, you just move on." The lawyer says, "One needs a wife. That way you have a representative; an extension of yourself at important gatherings with influential people". The programmer says, "You're both wrong. You need a wife and a girlfriend. That way the wife thinks you're with the girlfriend; the girlfriend thinks you're with the wife and all the while you're at the office being creative!"
The gynecologist complimented the young woman on his examination table. "Go home and tell your husband to prepare for a baby." "But I don't have a husband," the girl replied. "Then, go home and tell your lover." "But I don't have a lover. I've never had a lover!" "In that case," the doctor sighed, "go home and tell your mother to prepare for the second coming of Christ."
Click through for the large picture Break Out!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Richard Thompson, 32, of Stamford, Connecticut Reported by Moe Robber Attempts To Hold Up Boxing Champion Clerk,gets clobbered Police say Leverett Johnson walked into this 7-Eleven store on the Pitt campus looking to rob it. Clerk Eric Sydnor was on duty in the store when Johnson confronted him. Sydnor told KDKA’s Ross Guidotti, “It’s like one of those things where it was a blur what exactly was going on.” Sydnor says Johnson pointed the pistol at him demanding money, but apparently had no idea who he was dealing with. That’s because Sydnor is a Golden Gloves champion with hard hands. “I won the Golden Gloves once, and made it to the finals three times.” When asked how he handled Johnson, Sydnor said, “He got slammed.” Syndors trainer Jose Caraballo says Johnson, “picked the wrong guy and store to walk into that night.” But, the young boxer didn’t come out of the fight unscathed. Johnson allegedly bit Sydnor’s hands. Sydnor says he’ll be fine and ready for the U.S. Olympic Boxing team trials. Sydnor says he’s no hero, and his ring and game skill matter less than what’s in his heart. “The fact that I’m a boxer had nothing to do with anything. It’s just what’s right, and what’s wrong.” Johnson was still in the hospital Tuesday, recovering from the beating Sydnor administered, police said. Johnson, of Pittsburgh, has been charged with robbery, aggravated assault and criminal mischief. Online court records on Tuesday showed he faces a preliminary hearing Oct. 15 Tech Support Pits From: Jaye Re: Highlighted words and pop-ups Dear Webby, I really need some advice here...Recently all my internet pages and even on the internet web pages in all the sentences there are certain words highlighted. Even my banking has it. When I happen to get to close to the highlighted word with my cursor then an advertisement pops up...I have shut down the pop-ups to no avail. Do you have a solution for me...Thanks a million for all your past help...Which I am grateful for. Jaye Dear Jaye That's an infection. Download and run MalwareBytes. That is why I have it in the top spot on the right side. It will get rid of that infection. It is also possible, that you got some extensions installed into your Chrome. Some malware does that. Install Adblock Plus for Google Chrome. Chrome Web Store - Adblock Plus You may have Text Enhance installed. Check your add-ons/ extensions and Add/ Remove program. Open Chrome, click on the Settings icon, and navigate to Tools -> Extensions Select the Text Enhance plugin from the list of extensions, and click Uninstall. Select "Add/Remove Programs" from the Control Panel. For Windows Vista/7 users, this will be called "Programs/Features Select the Text Enhance plugin from the list of software, and click Uninstall/Remove. Also, look for codec-c. If there, disable in Chrome: tools > extensions and disable codec-c Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Snack Plastic Bag as Sandwich Pocket Don't you hate it when the tomato starts dripping all over your hand while eating a sandwich, or the onion falls out, or the grease runs down your hand from that juicy hamburger? No more! I keep a box of Snack Plastic Bags handy. They are only about 6 x 3 inches - just the right size to fit the bottom of your sandwich in. Once slid in there and you start to eat your sandwich or burger, there is no mess. It is all in the bottom of the plastic bag! Sometimes the vegetables and/or meat start to slide down and out of your sandwich on to the floor. But in the small plastic bag, just keep a couple of your fingers on the bottom and they keep the ingredients from slipping out. By cacollie [2] http://www. thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room said, "Yeah, right."
There was this man who, many years ago, worked for a large business. That was his lifetime employment, but he wasn't happy there. He wanted to go in business for himself. He saved his money and finally had enough that he could quit and start his own business. About two years later, I was on vacation and was going through the town where his business was located. I stopped by for a visit. "Hey John, I heard that the first year is the hardest for a new business." "Yeah, the first year was pretty rough, but we are doing pretty good now. In fact, I'm getting to where I only have to work half a day." "Wow, that's pretty nice. Maybe I should think about going into business for myself." "Yeah, and the nicest part of it is that it doesn't matter which twelve hours you work."


Ice Palace



https://www.google.ca/search?q=ice+palace+pix&newwindow=1&client= firefox-a&hs=DVw&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&channel= sb&tbm=isch&imgil=0z2Fo5PLrKNo9M%253A%253BQLPFiMFu4uynuM %253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fcarnaval.qc.ca%25252Fen%25252 Fabout%25252Ftraditions-mores%25252Fice-palace%25252F&source =iu&pf=m&fir=0z2Fo5PLrKNo9M%253A%252CQLPFiMFu4uynuM%252C_&usg =__Na8gk9lhMSm0GlQMfuV8yMX76nM%3D&biw=1088&bih=459&ved= 0CDIQyjc&ei=tm41VMvBLJLroASwuYL4Dw#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc= 0z2Fo5PLrKNo9M%253A%3BQLPFiMFu4uynuM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252F carnaval.qc.ca%252Fen%252Fwp-content%252Fblogs.dir%252F2%252F files%252Fice_palaces%252F2007.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252F carnaval.qc.ca%252Fen%252Fabout%252Ftraditions-mores%252F ice-palace%252F%3B345%3B240

Today in 
1635 Roger Williams, founder of Rhode Island, was banished 
 from Massachusetts because he had spoken out against 
 punishments for religious offenses and giving away land 
 that belonged to the Indians. Williams had founded 
 Providence, Rhode Island as a place for people to seek 
 religious freedom. 
1701 The Collegiate School of Connecticut was chartered 
 in New Haven. The name was later changed to Yale. 
1776 A group of Spanish missionaries settled in what is 
 now San Francisco, CA. 
1781 The last major battle of the American Revolutionary 
 War took place in Yorktown, VA. The American forces, 
 led by George Washington, defeated the British troops 
 under Lord Cornwallis. 
1812 During the War of 1812 American forces captured 
 two British brigs, the Detroit and the Caledonia. 
1855 Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor. 
1855 Joshua C. Stoddard received a patent for his calliope. 
1858 Mail service via stagecoach between San Francisco, CA, 
 and St. Louis, MO, began. 
1872 Aaron Montgomery started his mail order business with 
 the delivery of the first mail order catalog. The firm 
 later became Montgomery Wards. 
1876 Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Watson made their 
 longest telephone call to date. It was a distance of 
 two miles. 
1914 During WW I, German forces captured Antwerp, Belgium. 
1936 The first generator at Boulder Dam began transmitting 
 electricity to Los Angeles, CA. The name of the dam was 
 later changed to Hoover Dam. 
1946 The first electric blanket went on sale in Petersburg, VA. 
1975 Andrei Sakharov was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The 
 Soviet scientist is known as the "father of the hydrogen bomb." 
1983 Helen Moss joined the Brownies at the age of 83. She became 
 the oldest person to become a member. 
1989 The official Soviet news agency Tass reported an unidentified 
 flying object. The report included a trio of tall aliens that 
 had visited the city of Voronzh. 
1994 The U.S. sent troops and warships to the Persian Gulf in 
 response to Saddam Hussein sending thousands of troops and 
 hundreds of tanks toward the Kuwaiti border. 
1995 Saboteurs tinkered with a stretch of railroad track in 
 Arizona. An Amtrak train derailed killing one and injuring 
 a hundred. 
2000 Brett Hull (Dallas Stars) scored his 611th National 
 Hockey League (NHL) goal. The goal allowed him to pass his 
 father, Bobby Hull, on the all time scoring list bringing 
 him to number 9. 
2003 Britain's Queen Elizabeth II knighted Roger Moore 
 and made Sting a CBE (Commander of the British Empire). 
2009 NASA launched the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing 
 Satellite (LCROSS). On November 13, it was announced that 
 water had been discovered in the planned impact plume on 
 the moon. 
2014  smiled.


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Best Connection 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 8

Thank you, Robert!

Tomorrow I have to go to Calgary for more injections into
the eyeballs. That means no Friday, Saturday or Sunday 
newsletters will get sent out.

Have FUN!
DearWebby






Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Connecticut druggie, who brought 50 grams of pot to court Details at Boneheads Today, in 1966 - The U.S. Government declared that LSD was dangerous and an illegal substance.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Advertisements... contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while the article is still on the presses. --- Calvin Trillin (1935 - ) You can observe a lot just by watching. --- Yogi Berra
Passengers aboard a luxurious cruise ship were having a great time when a beautiful young woman fell overboard. Immediately there was an 80 year old man in the water, who rescued her. The crew pulled them both out of the treacherous waters. The captain was grateful as well as astonished that such a white-haired old man performed such an act of bravery. That night a banquet was given in honor of the ship's elderly hero. He was called forward to receive an award and was asked to say a few words. He said, "Once I was in the water, it was no big deal. But I sure am curious about who pushed me overboard."
As with many funerals, it was a cloudy, rainy day. The deceased was a little old lady who had devoted her entire married life to nagging at her poor husband. When the graveside service had no more than terminated, there was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied by a distant lightning bolt and more rumbling thunder. The little old man looked at his priest and calmly said, "Sounds like SHE has been told where to go."
Click through for the large picture Elk in the morning
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Richard Thompson, 32, of Stamford, Connecticut Drug Suspect Brought 50 Grams Of Pot To Court FORT LEE — Port Authority police on Thursday arrested a man who brought marijuana to the borough court -- where he was scheduled to appear on charges including marijuana possession, the agency said. Richard Thompson, 32, of Stamford, Connecticut, showed up at court around 10:20 a.m. with a backpack, according to police spokesman Joe Pentangelo. As part of standard security screenings, officials opened the bag and discovered less than 50 grams of marijuana inside. They also found two packages of rolling papers and an unrolled cigar wrapper often re-used to smoke marijuana, Pentangelo said. Port Authority Police Officer Steve Pisciotta arrested Thompson on charges of having marijuana and drug paraphernalia, the spokesman added. Thompson was apparently no stranger to the Port Authority officer. Pisciotta arrested the accused May 16 at the George Washington Bridge on charges of driving under the influence, driving with a suspended license and having marijuana in his car, police said. In December, Port Authority police made a similar arrest at the same court when another man was allegedly caught with marijuana after he showed up to answer a different pot possession charge. Tech Support Pits From: Ormond Re: Most reliable connection Dear Webby, What is the most reliable connection? I don't really need very high speed, but for my on-line credit card order processing, I need 100% reliability. I am not an AOLer, so I don't have a religious hangup requiring things to be free or the absolute cheapest. I can write it off as a business expense anyway. Ormond Dear Ormond If you can get it, cable is quite reliable nowadays. Second best is DSL. DSL CAN be fairly fast, but often slows down. The reason South Korea has an average connection speed of over 20 Mbps is because there every house and shack has cable, and a cable Internet connection. Dial-Up is a good back-up. Most ISPs give you a dial-up number to use in case of problems with DSL. The problem is, usually dial-up uses the same phone line. If a drunk hit a telephone pole and knocked your line off, dial-up is out too. You CAN get an Air-Card, which is basically a cell-phone modem, but every one I know, who uses those occasionally, complains about their cost. With today's cell-phones you can check your email and do your banking, if you have to. In some countries like Nigeria over 90% of the population just use cell phones to get onto the Internet and don't even have computers. I would not use that metyhod, but in an emergency, it would work OK. Personally, if I could get cable, I would. DSL is what I have been using for a dozen years. Most of the time it is reliable enough, but I have had to fall back to Dial-Up occasionally. Satellite Internet connection is worst of all. Any rain storm will knock you off, and for uploading you have to use slow dial-up. It is also the most expensive method. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Using an Old Window Frame I was given this old frame, and decided to make it look realistic. I put a cut up poster behind the places where the panes were, and it looks like I am gazing out into a serene waterfall in the woods. Some of my snail collections are on it, and for the photo, I would have taken them off. However, I have cats, and everything in this house is glued down! But, this may inspire some of you just the same. By Sandi/Poor But Proud http://www. thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read "Unique Breakfast", so he walked in and sat down. The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted. "What's your 'Unique Breakfast'?" he asked inquisitively. "Baked tongue of chicken," she replied proudly. "Baked tongue of chicken? Do you have ANY idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" the man fumed. Undaunted, the waitress asked, "Well, what would you like then, sir?" The man replied, "Just bring me some scrambled eggs."
Thanks to Bob for this revelation: My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women were coming up to me, they'd sniff, exclaim, "Married!", and walk off. So, gents, that's how they mark their territory! You can take off that ring, but it's hard to get that "April fresh scent" out of your clothes.

» Platypus

http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/platypus

Today in 
1895 - The Berliner Gramophone Company was founded in 
 Philadelphia, PA. 
1915 - During World War I, the Battle of Loos concluded. 
1919 - The first transcontinental air race in the U.S. began. 
1945 - U.S. President Truman announced that only Britain 
 and Canada would be given the secret to the atomic bomb. 
1950 - U.N. forces crossed into North Korea from South Korea. 
1966 - The U.S. Government declared that LSD was dangerous 
 and an illegal substance. 
1970 - Soviet author Alexander Solzhenitsyn won the Nobel 
 Prize for literature. 
1982 - In Poland, all labor organizations, including Solidarity, 
 were banned. 
1991 - A slave burial site was found by construction workers 
 in lower Manhattan. The "Negro Burial Ground" had been closed 
 in 1790. Over a dozen skeletons were found. 
1993 - The U.S. government issued a report absolving the FBI 
 of any wrongdoing in its final assault in Waco, TX, on the 
 Branch Davidian compound. The fire that ended the siege 
 killed as many as 85 people. 
1996 - Pope John Paul II underwent a successful operation 
 to remove his inflamed appendix. 
1998 - Taliban forces attacked Iranian border posts. Iran 
 said that three border posts were destroyed before the 
 Taliban forces were forced to retreat. The Taliban of 
 Afghanistan denied the event occurred. 
1998 - Canada and Netherlands were voted into the 
 U.N. Security Council. 
2001 - Two Russian cosmonauts made the first spacewalk to be conducted 
 outside of the international space station without a shuttle present. 
2002 - A federal judge approved U.S. President George W. Bush's request 
 to reopen West Coast ports, to end a caustic 10-day labor lockout. 
 The lockout was costing the U.S. economy an estimated $1 billion to 
 $2 billion a day. 
2003 - China announced that it would have a human crew orbit the Earth 
 briefly on October 15. 
2003 - Vietnam and the United States reached a tentative agreement that 
 would allow the first commercial flights between the two countries 
 since the end of the Vietnam War. 
2004 - The first-ever direct presidential elections were held in 
 Afghanistan. 
2014  smiled.


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Computer noisy in the afternoon 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 7

On Thursday I have to go to Calgary for more injections into
the eyeballs. That means no Friday, Saturday or Sunday 
newsletters will get sent out.




Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Mississippi mom, who burglarized cars at school, claimed she's looking for ISIS Details at Boneheads Today, in 1963 U.S. President Kennedy signed a nuclear test ban treaty with Britain and the Soviet Union.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good. --- Stephen Colbert Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
Thanks to Sandie for this story: Jim had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?" "Why do you want me to throw them at you?" "Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them." "Okay, but I suggest that you take the orange roughy." "Why's that?" "Because your wife came in earlier today and said that if you came by, I should tell you to get the roughy. She prefers that for supper tonight."
Three boys were heading home from school one day when one started the time-honored game of paternal one-upmanship. He said, "My dad's way faster than any of yours, he can throw a 90-mph fast ball from the pitcher's mound and run and catch it just after it crosses the plate!" One of the other boys said, "Oh yeah? Well, my dad can shoot an arrow from his bow and run to the target and hold it up to make sure the arrow hits the bulls eye!" The last boy said, "Your dads don't even come close to being faster than mine. My dad works for the government, and even though he works every day until 4:00 he gets home at 3:30!"
Click through for the large picture Zhangjiajie National Park, China
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lisa Carol Roche, 41, Hurley, Mississippi Mom Burglarizes Cars At School, Claims She's Looking For ISIS Apparently, there's growing concern that the Islamist State of Iraq and Syria could attack the United States from within, cops just don't believe that terrorists will start by hiding in cars on Mississippi school property. That allegedly didn't stop Lisa Carol Roche from using ISIS as an excuse. The Hurley woman is accused of burglarizing cars in the parking lot of her children's school, then telling officers that she was "looking for ISIS terrorists," according to Gulf Live. Roche, 41, was allegedly caught stealing sunglasses and other items from cars at East Central High School, FOX 10 reports. She remained in Jackson County Adult Detention Center Friday. She's been charged previously with careless driving, felony fraud and felony embezzlement. She faces up to five years in prison and a $10,000 fine if convicted of commercial burglary. Tech Support Pits From: Elvira Re: Noisy computer Dear Webby, My computer works fine in the morning, but in the afternoon it gets noisy and most programs slow down. The wanna-be son-in-law who claims to be a computer guru, said it's just getting old and that he would give me $50 trade-in value for it if I bought a new $1600 computer from him. My computer is only two years old, and in the morning is still quite a speed demon. What's the real story? Elvira Dear Elvira That guy is not a guru, he is a gooron, or a crook. Or possibly both. Your computer is simply overheating in the afternoon, because it has not been cleaned out for a long time. Take the side cover off. If you can do that and comfortably lie down on the floor in front of it, do it there, otherwise unplug everything and set the computer on top of some spread newspapers on the kitchen table. Then take the vaccum cleaner with the furniture crevice tool attached and clean out all the dust bunnies and dirt. Clean the heat sinks with Q-tips. "Heat Sinks" are those finned metal blocks that cover the CPU and other hard working chips. Some heatsinks have shrouds with fans over them. Those can normally be removed wihout any tools. Just look at them and push on different sides and places. They are a bit tricky, but any woman, who can take a food processor apart and put it back together, has a huge advantage over men who have not acquired that skill. The heat sinks under shrouds frequently look rather gross, but no worse than the inside of a stove exhaust hood. Fold a kleenex or paper towel around a business card or credit card and slide it between the fins to clean them. If they don't come perfectly clean with just that, drip some rubbing alcohol or window cleaner onto the paper. Don't think of the project as a tedious nuisance. Consider it a battle against the evil dust bunnies in their secret castle and it's a fun ten minutes. Afterwards your computer will run fine all day and never get so hot that the fans go into noisy overdrive or that it slows down the CPU because it is getting too hot. When you put the computer back, put it onto some bricks or old phone books to raise the dust bunny entrance portal a bit above the floor. And don't forget to tell your daughter that her pet gooron is an idiot. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com A Beautiful Unique Kitchen Makeover After sanding, priming, painting and adding antique silverware to my twenty year old, dark, dull and just plain outdated kitchen cabinets, putting in new counter tops, new appliances and painting the walls, I now have a beautiful, unique kitchen that I am proud to say was done by ME! By Sandra from Orlando, Florida http://www. thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Delivering his speech at the opening banquet of a national convention, the visiting minister told several anecdotes he expected to repeat at meetings the next day. Because he wanted to use the jokes again, he requested that the reporters omit them from any accounts they might turn in to their newspapers. A cub reporter, in commenting on the speech, ended his piece with the following: "The minister also told a number of stories that cannot be printed here."
From SexySassySatin Wedding Photographer

» Buttons and bows

https://www.google.ca/search?q=buttons+and+bows+pix

Today in 
1765 Nine American colonies sent a total of 28 delegates to 
 New York City for the Stamp Act Congress.
1777 During the American Revolution the second Battle of 
 Saratoga began. 
1868 Cornell University was inaugurated in Ithaca, NY. 
1913 For the first time, Henry Ford's entire Highland Park 
 automobile factory was run on a continuously moving assembly 
 line when the chassis was added to the process. 
1949 The German Democratic Republic (East Germany) was formed. 
1950 The U.S.-led U.N. forces crossed the 38th parallel and 
 entered North Korea. China in November proved their threat 
 to enter the war by sending several hundred thousand troops 
 over the border into North Korea. 
1963 U.S. President Kennedy signed a nuclear test ban treaty 
 with Britain and the Soviet Union. 
1981 The Egyptian parliament, after the assassination of 
 Anwar Sadat, named Vice President Hosni Mubarak the next 
 president of Egypt. 
1985 The United States announced that it would no longer 
 automatically comply with World Court decisions. 
1989 In Budapest, Hungary's Communist Party renounced Marxism 
 in favor of democratic socialism. 
1993 U.S. President Clinton sent more troops, heavy armor, 
 and naval firepower to Somalia. 
1994 U.S. President Clinton dispatched an aircraft carrier 
 to the Persian Gulf when Iraqi troops were spotted moving 
 toward Kuwait. The U.S. Army was also put on alert. 
1998 The U.S. government filed an antitrust suit that alleged 
 Visa and MasterCard inhibit competition by preventing banks 
 from offering other cards. 
1999 American Home Products Corp. agreed to pay up to $4.83 
 billion to settle claims that the fen-phen diet drug caused 
 dangerous problems with heart valves. 
2001 The U.S. and Great Britain began airstrikes in Afghanistan 
 in response to that state's support of terrorism and Osama 
 bin Laden. The act was the first military action taken in 
 response to the terrorist attacks on the U.S. on 
 September 11, 2001. 
2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor 
 in the recall election of Governor Gray Davis. 
2014  smiled.


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Make Gmail Filters more predictable 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 6

Thank you, Ray!
Thank you, Andy!




Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Wisconsin bonehead, who menaced cub scouts selling popcorn door-to-door with a big sword Details at Boneheads Today, in 1991 Elizabeth Taylor married Larry Fortensky. The ceremony was held at Michael Jackson's estate near Los Angeles, CA. It was Taylor's 8th marriage and Fortensky's 3rd.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. --- Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)
During the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of the back pews. Little Johnny's mother was horrified. She pinched him and told him to be silent. After church she asked, "Johnny, whatever made you do such a thing?" Little Johnny said quite honestly, "I asked God to teach me how to whistle and all of a sudden, He did!"
Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his brother and told him, "Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill." Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense. Bills for $200.00 kept arriving every month, and finally the man called his brother again to find out what was going on. "Well," said the other brother, "You said to do something nice for Dad. So I rented him a tuxedo
Click through for the large picture Millau Viaduct, France
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Owen Reese, 22, Sparta, Wisconsin Wisconsin bonehead menaces cub scouts selling popcorn door-to-door with a big sword A man wielding a large sword menaced a group of Cub Scouts who knocked on his door as they sought to sell popcorn in a fundraising drive, Wisconsin police report. After the children knocked on the door of his Sparta residence, Owen Reese, 22, “opened the door holding a sword above his head and immediately began yelling” at them, according to cops. While holding the sword over his head and “motioning like he was going to swing it at them,” Reese got within five feet of the Cub Scouts before they “escaped unharmed.” When cops arrived at Reese’s residence, he again answered the door “holding a sword with both hands at shoulder height.” He dropped the weapon when officers leveled their guns at him. A subsequent search of Reese’s home turned up “a large number of knives and swords, as well as marijuana and several smoking devices.” Reese was arrested for reckless endangerment and cited for “drug related offenses.” During questioning by Sparta Police Department cops, Reese explained that his sword wielding was commonplace: “Reese told officers he always answers the door with a sword to protect himself against religious people.” -------------- No need for a sword to chase away "religious people". A suggestive grin and slowly lowering my zipper does the trick quite nicely. Tech Support Pits From: Anita Re: Filter confusion Dear Webby, I am using Gmail as my spam filter. Yeah, I know I should get MailWasher, but right now $30 is not in the budget. I have made a ton of filters in Gmail, but they seem to get more unpredictable all the time. What could cause that? Anita Dear Anita The filters in Gmail are not nearly as robust or reliable or precise as those in MailWasher, but with some effort you can do simple filtering with Gmail. One thing to keep in mind is Precedence. If you have one filter OK-ing mail from or to an address, and then further down try to narrow that down, it does NOT work. Once a mail has been touched by a filter, it is gone to wherever the filter sends it to. Any further filters trying to narrow that down, won't even see that mail. It is already gone. With MailWasher you have all the regular expessions (and, or, if, if not, not, and not, but not, etc., etc.) With Gmail you can now use AND, and OR. To for examplpe dump all mail to a certain address except mails from PayPal OR from Gramma@aol.com, then you tell it to delete mail to that address, and put Paypal,Gramma@aol.com into the NOT slot. Just separate all the different exceptions with a comma. It takes a bit of getting used to it, but you get plenty of spam to experiment with. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Lemon-Cheesecake Pie There are three things I require in all of my recipes: quick, easy and good. I don't have any long, complicated, expensive-to-make recipes because, to me, that would take most of the joy out of cooking. Ingredients: 1 9 inch baked pie shell or one graham cracker crust, your choice 1 can Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed Milk ( or store brand, it's cheaper ) 1/4 cup lemon juice 1 (8 oz.) package any brand cream cheese, softened Directions: In mixing bowl, beat cream cheese until fluffy. Gradually beat in the sweetened condensed milk until mixture is smooth. Stir in the 1/4 cup lemon juice and pour filling into prepared pie shell. Chill until set. May be topped with pie filling of your choice, whipped topping and thin lemon slices for garnish, or plain whipped topping, if desired, or leave plain. Enjoy. By indianlady from Boonville, NC http://www. thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A real-estate agent was driving around with a new trainee when she spotted a charming little farmhouse with a hand- lettered "For Sale" sign out front. After briskly introducing herself and her associate to the startled occupant, the agent cruised from room to room, opening closets and cupboards, testing faucets, and pointing out where a "new light fixture here and a little paint there" would help. Pleased with her assertiveness, the woman was hopeful that the owner would offer her the listing. "Ma'am," the man said, "I appreciate the home-improvement tips and all, but I think you read my sign wrong. It says, 'HORSE for sale.'"
The college football player knew his way around the locker room better than he did the library, so when my husband's co-worker saw the gridiron star roaming the stacks of books looking confused, she asked how she could help. "I have to read a play by Shakespeare," he said. "Which one?" she asked. He scanned the shelves and answered, "William."

» Patchwork Quilts
http://www.galenfrysinger.com/patchwork_quilts.htm

Today in 
1683 The first Mennonites arrived in America aboard the 
 Concord. The German and Dutch families settled in an area 
 that is now a neighborhood in Philadelphia, PA. 
1848 The steamboat SS California left New York Harbor for 
 San Francisco via Cape Horn. The steamboat arrived on 
 February 28, 1849. The trip took 4 months and 21 days. 
1866 The Reno Brothers pulled the first train robbery in 
 America near Seymour, IN. The got away with $10,000. 
1880 The National League kicked the Cincinnati Reds out 
 for selling beer. 
1884 The Naval War College was established in Newport, RI. 
1889 The Kinescope was exhibited by Thomas Edison. He had 
 patented the moving picture machine in 1887. 
1890 Polygamy was outlawed by the Mormon Church. 
1928 War-torn China was reunited under the Nationalist leader 
 Chiang Kai-Shek. 
1939 Adolf Hitler denied any intention to wage war against 
 Britain and France in an address to Reichstag. 
1961 U.S. president John F. Kennedy advised American families 
 to build or buy bomb shelters to protect them in the event 
 of a nuclear exchange with the Soviet Union. 
1973 Egypt and Syria attacked Israel in an attempt to win 
 back territory that had been lost in the third Arab-Israel 
 war. Support for Israel led to a devastating oil embargo 
 against many nations including the U.S. and Great Britain 
 on October 17, 1973. The war lasted 2 weeks. 
1979 Pope John Paul II became the first pontiff to visit 
 the White House. 
1991 Elizabeth Taylor married Larry Fortensky. The ceremony 
 was held at Michael Jackson's estate near Los Angeles, CA. 
 It was Taylor's 8th marriage and Fortensky's 3rd. 
2014  smiled.


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Problem with Bonus links 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, October 5

The voting works again! 
Please vote at the Ezinefinder.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Massachusets woman, who hid drugs beneath butt prosthesis Details at Boneheads Today, in 1919 Enzo Ferrari debuted in his first race. He later founded the Auto Avio Construzioni Ferrari, an independent manufacturing company.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away. --- Robert Orben Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half. --- Gore Vidal (1925 - )
I used to do some locksmithing and still get called out for all types of emergencies. Just this morning, I received a call from a young lady telling me she had locked her keys in her truck. She was very frantic, as she had to get to work. I told her the cost, found out where she was, and I was on my way. Since she told me she thought the keys were in the truck (but couldn't remember for sure where she had put them,) I began working on opening the passenger door of her truck. As I was maneuvering my tool to unlock the door, I looked across at the driver door and noticed that it was unlocked. Without a word, I walked around and opened the door for her. 'Thank you!' she said. 'I didn't even know you could unlock the driver's door from the passenger side.'"
In a small mid western conservative town, a new bar/tavern/strip-club started a building to open up their business. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed, however right up till the week before opening, when a lightning strike hit the bar and it burned to the ground. The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means. The church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the buildings demise in its reply to the court. As the case made it's way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a strip club owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that doesn't.
Click through for the large picture Rialto Bridge, Venice
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jill Roy, 33, Buzzards Bay, Massachusets Woman Hid Drugs Beneath Butt Prosthesis A Massachusetts woman is facing narcotics charges after police discovered heroin and painkillers hidden underneath a prosthetic derrière enhancement that the suspect told cops she wore because, “I don’t have a butt.” Following a traffic stop last month in Buzzards Bay, police arrested Jill Roy, 33, when a bag containing various pills fell from her pants leg as she was standing near a patrol car, according to a police report. Upon being transported to the Bourne Police Department for booking, Roy admitted ownership of a one-ounce bag of marijuana found inside the 2005 Volkswagen Jetta she was driving. Roy’s passenger, Jennifer Johnson, 32, was arrested on several outstanding warrants. The police report, which alternately describes Roy as unemployed and working at Dunkin’ Donuts, notes that she has a “very lengthy criminal record” including collars for “possession and distribution of illegal narcotics.” Roy, cops added, is currently on probation for drug possession. During a search of Roy during the September 16 booking process, Officer Nicole Bevilacqua “observed her underwear had a hard exterior.” Asked what kind of underwear she had on, Roy replied, “I don’t have a butt so I wear these and another pair of underwear under it.” After Bevilacqua directed her to “take off the hard exterior underwear,” Roy “became visibly upset,” the report states. After asking several times why she had to remove the buttocks prosthesis, Roy relented and removed the item. Bevilacqua then spotted a “large bulge” in her other pair of underwear. Bevilacqua “advised Roy to pull her underwear away from her body so the items could be removed,” police reported. Investigators then removed two plastic baggies containing a total of 13 Oxycodone pills and a bag containing $350 of heroin. Sgt. Brandon Esip, a police spokesperson, told TSG that the prosthetic device was not included among the evidence seized by officers. The item, Esip said, appears to be “sold as a pair of underwear with a hard back on it.” He added that it was apparently designed to “enhance the rear end.” Police described the 5’ 7”, 115-pound Roy as “skinny.” She is the mother of three young children, whose names she has tattooed on her body. Charged with a variety of felony and misdemeanor narcotics charges, even though she obviously blew her probation, Roy is being offered release for $5000 bail. Tech Support Pits From: Karen Re: Problem with Dianne's link Dear Webby, I click on Dianne's bonus link every day. It never comes up, it just goes blank. I can click on Ophelia's and it comes up. Will you please start putting the web address under it so I can copy and paste it? Thanks. Karen G Dear Karen You seem to have a block against shortened URLs forwarding to the actual URL. Depending on your browser's security setting, you might get a small pop-up at the right top, asking you if you want the broswer to forward to the final URL. Some phones don't even do that and just refuse to go through a Snip-URL. I will ask Dianne to send me the full-length URLS. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pants Ex-pander This comes in handy for those times when you just ate and need a little more room in your pants. All you have to have is a small rubber band loop it through the opening and then it makes a loop for you to put on your button of your pants. So easy to do. By Teresa L S. from Greensburg, KY http://www. thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

"What do you love most about me," a husband asked his wife, "my tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?" "What I love most about you," responded the man's wife, "is your hilarious sense of humor."
Thanks to Linda for this story: In high school I was always self-conscious about my height. Once I was asked out by a lifeguard. I had never stood next to him and didn't know how tall he was, so the night of the date I took out two pairs of shoes, one with heels, one flat. I arranged with my brother to answer the door, compare his height with my date's, and run upstairs to let me know which pair of shoes to wear. When I heard the doorbell, I waited. Then my brother showed up and told me: "Go barefoot."

» Patchwork Quilts
http://www.galenfrysinger.com/patchwork_quilts.htm

Today in 
1813 Chief Tecumseh of the Shawnee Indians was killed at the 
 Battle of Thames when American forces defeated the British 
 and the allied Indian warriors. 
1877 Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce Indians surrendered to 
 the U.S. Army after a 1,000-mile retreat towards the 
 Canadian border. 
1919 Enzo Ferrari debuted in his first race. He later founded 
 the Auto Avio Construzioni Ferrari, an independent 
 manufacturing company. 
1931 Clyde Pangborn and Hugh Herndon landed in Washington after 
 flying non-stop across the Pacific Ocean. The flight originated 
 in Japan and took about 41 hours. 
1937 U.S. President Roosevelt called for a "quarantine" of 
 aggressor nations. 
1969 A Cuban defector landed a Soviet-made MiG-17 at Homestead 
 Air Force Base in Florida. The plane entered U.S. air space 
 and landed without being detected. 
1969 "Monty Python's Flying Circus" debuted on BBC television. 
1970 Anwar Sadat took office as President of Egypt replacing 
 Gamal Abdel Nassar. Sadat was assassinated in 1981. 
1974 American David Kunst completed the first journey around 
 the world on foot. It took four years and 21 pairs of shoes. 
 He crossed four continents and walked 14,450 miles. 
1985 An Egyptian policeman went on a shooting rampage at a 
 Sinai beach. Seven Israeli tourists were killed. The 
 policeman died in prison the following January of an 
 apparent suicide. 
1986 Sandinista soldiers captured American Eugene Hasenfus 
 after shooting him down over southern Nicaragua. 
1991 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev announced that 
 his country would cut its nuclear arsenal in response to 
 the arms reduction that was initiated by U.S. President 
 George Bush. 
1993 China set off an underground nuclear explosion. 
1995 A 60-day cease-fire was agreed upon by Bosnian combatants. 
 The civil war had lasted 3 1/2. 
1997 In London, the Express Newspapers printed an article 
 claiming that Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were homosexual 
 and that their marriage was a sham to cover the truth. The 
 paper paid damages in a settlement on October 29, 1998. 
1998 The U.S. paid $60 million for Russia's research time 
 on the international space station to keep the cash-strapped 
 Russian space agency afloat. 
2006 Wal-Mart Stores Inc. rolled out its $4 generic drug 
 program to the entire state of Florida after a successful 
 test in the Tampa area. 
2014  smiled.


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Homeless Veterans Link 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 4

The voting works again! Looks like they are back from their
vacation and rebooted.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Applebee's Customer Mikie Sawyer Punches 80-year-old Who Complained About Cursing Details at Boneheads Today, in 1957 The Soviet Union launched Sputnik I into orbit around the Earth. Sputnik was the first manmade satellite to enter space. Sputnik I fell out of orbit on January 4, 1958.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain. --- Friedrich von Schiller (1759 - 1805)
Two snooty women were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was slightly delayed in another room. The daughter of the family was with the two women, on the theory that she would keep the visitors occupied during the wait. The child was about six years old. She was snub nosed, spotted with splotchy freckles, buck toothed, and bespectacled. She maintained a deep silence and the two ladies peered doubtfully at her. Finally, one of the women muttered to the other, "She's not very p - r - e - t - y, is she?" Whereupon the child piped up, "Maybe not, but I'm quite s - m - a - r - t and I can s - p - e - l - l. By the way, pretty has two t's."
A sad-faced Todd walked into a flower shop early one morning. The clerk was ready to take his order for a funeral piece, based on the look on Todd's face, but soon realized his assumption was wrong as Todd asked for a basket of flowers sent to his wife for their anniversary. "And what day will that be?" the clerk asked. Glumly he replied, "Yesterday."
Click through for the large picture The Pont du Gard Bridge began life as an aqueduct system that transported water to the Roman city of Nemausus and is a testament to the incredible building skills of the Romans. Built more than 2000 years ago, the Pont du Gard descends only 56 feet over 30 miles and was able to deliver around 5 million gallons of water to the city every day. It is a highway bridge nowadays.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Mikie Sawyer, 26, Port Orange, Floriduh Applebee's Customer Mikie Sawyer Punches 80-year-old Who Complained About Cursing A Florida man faces a battery charge after allegedly punching an 80-year-old man who asked him to stop cursing in an Applebee's. Mikie Sawyer, 26, was arrested Sunday night after allegedly attacking Harry Sander, 80, at the Port Orange franchise of the chain restaurant. Sander told police that he heard Sawyer "talking obscenities" at the bar. The victim said he politely asked the suspect "If he could please stop using the ‘F’ word and stop talking so loud about ‘titties and ass,’” according to the police report. Sander then leaned in close to Sawyer and said, “In Germany you don’t speak in such a manner.” Sawyer allegedly responded to Sander by saying, “I don’t care where you are from, whether it be Russia or Dutch,” the Daytona Beach News-Journal reports. Sawyer then told Sander to go back to the other side of the bar, but Sander didn't move. That's when the suspect allegedly punched the octogenarian in the face and pushed him backward so that the victim hit a table and then the floor, according to the newspaper. Witnesses backed up Sander's claim. Sawyer left the restaurant before police arrived but was pulled over a short time later. Although Sawyer told police that Sander actually punched him, the police report noted that the suspect had no bruising on his face. He did have discolored and bruised knuckles and fingers, according to ClickOrlando.com. Sawyer was charged with battery on a person over 65 years of age and disorderly conduct and booked at the Volusia County Branch Jail. He was later released on a $2,500 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Hermon Re: Feed a veteran link Dear Webby, Still reading your letter first thing every morning and spreading the humor. Have a problem voting for the feed a vet site. I get a snip error and on the vote for you I get an internal error message. Have no problem voting for the breast cancer site or the feed the hungry site. any help or should I throw this twenty year old desk top away? Hermon in Ky Dear Hermon Looks like SnipURL dumped the Feed A Veteran link for some silly reason. Maybe they age off links after 15 or 20 years? I have now made a direct link instead. It is still in the same place in the side menu. And for those, who have never seen it, it is here too:
Click a meal
to a homeless vet! It does not cost you anything to click, but will provide a meal to a homeless veteran. The vote link for the Humor Letter works again too. The people at the Ezinefinder seem to have returned from their annual fall holiday and have rebooted their server. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ready Made Salads In Ziploc Bowls Like many couples with no kids in the house, we don't eat as we should. Here's a way to get a few more veggies in. Take one bag of salad lettuce and divide it into 6 bowls with lids (I use 20 oz Ziploc bowls) add tomatoes, a couple of olives, sliced mushrooms, cucumbers or whatever salad veggies you want. Put them in the refrigerator. Then when you are stalking the refrigerator for something to eat, you will have a few ready made salads that you are more likely to eat first before grabbing that muffin. You only have to add the dressing and maybe a little feta and you're ready to go. They will last 2-3 days. One last thing: use grape or cherry tomatoes, it's more likely to last longer because cut up tomatoes will release more acid and gases that cause the lettuce to wilt. By melmarr from Michigan http://www. thriftyfun.com/

Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what's up with you?", he asks. "Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me." "Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette or a redhead ?" "Neither. Her grandfather is bald."
Thanks to Cindy for this story: When I lived with my parents a few years ago, I came home from work and found the back door open and our indoor-dog outside; very strange. Turns out my Mom had come home for lunch, let the dog out, forgot about him, left the door open and her book she was reading at the time on the kitchen table: 12 STEPS TO IMPROVE YOUR MEMORY."

» Frosted Pumpkins

Today in 
1535 The first complete English translation of the Bible was 
 printed in Zurich, Switzerland. 
1648 The first volunteer fire department was established in 
 New York by Peter Stuyvesant. 
1777 At Germantown, PA, Patriot forces and British forces 
 both suffer heavy losses in battle. The battle was seen 
 as British victory, which actually served as a moral boost 
 to the Americans. 
1881 Edward Leveaux received a patent for the player piano. 
1909 The first airship race in the U.S. took place in 
 St. Louis, MO.
1915 The Dinosaur National Monument was established. The 
 area covered part of Utah and Colorado. 
1927 The first actual work of carving began on Mount Rushmore. 
1940 Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini met in the Alps at 
 Brenner Pass. Hitler was seeking help from Italy to 
 fight the British. 
1957 The Soviet Union launched Sputnik I into orbit around 
 the Earth. Sputnik was the first manmade satellite to enter 
 space. Sputnik I fell out of orbit on January 4, 1958. 
1987 NFL owners used replacement personnel to play games 
 despite the player's strike. 
1992 The 16-year civil war in Mozambique ended. 
1993 Russian Vice-President Alexander Rutskoi and Chairman 
 Ruslan Khasbulatov surrendered to Boris Yeltsin after a 
 ten-hour tank assault on the Russian White House. The two 
 men had barricaded themselves in after Yeltsin called for 
 general elections and dissolved the legislative body. 
1993 Dozens of Somalis dragged an American soldier through 
 the streets of Mogadishu. A videotape showed Michael Durant 
 being taken prisoner by Somali militants. 
2001 NATO granted the United States open access to their 
 airfields and seaports and agreed to deploy ships and 
 early-warning radar planes in the war on terrorism. 
2001 In Washington, DC, Reagan National Airport re-opened. 
 The airport had been closed since the terrorist attacks 
 on the United States on September 11, 2001. 
2004 SpaceShipOne reached an altitude of 368,000 feet. It 
 was the first privately built, manned rocket ship to fly 
 in space twice within a two week window. The ship won the 
 Ansari X Prize of $10 million dollars for their success.
2014  smiled.


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Erratic monitor 



Today is Friday, October 3
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to two Teachers, who had a threesome with a gossippy student Details at Boneheads Today, in 1990 The Berlin Wall was dismantled eleven months after the borders between East and West Germany were dissolved. The unification of Germany ended 45 years of division.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought. --- Albert Szent-Gyorgyi (1893 - 1986)
>From Fred AS A C-130 PILOT in the Air National Guard, I drive to my base several times a month for practice flights, wearing my flight suit. On the way home late one night, my car's engine quit, and I coasted to a stop within sight of an isolated farmhouse. When I knocked on the door, a young woman answered. "I was on my way home from the Guard air base, but ran out of gas," I explained, holding up a one-gallon gas can to make my predicament clear. "May I use your telephone?" The woman stared at my flight suit and stammered, "But, but, but where did you land?"
It was very crowded at the supermarket, and this customer had a large order. As the harried-looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor. "They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!"
Click through for the large picture 4 islands, part of the Aleutian Island chain, are actually the upper slopes of volcanoes rising from the sea floor: Carlisle, Cleveland, Herbert, and Tana. The peaks have cooled enough to hold fresh snow, the sides are still warm. The grey areas are white-caps on the Pacific. Looks like great weather for wind surfing or tall ship sailing. For waves to show on a picture taken from the space station, they have to be quite substantial.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Shelley Dufresne, 32, and Rachel Respess, 24, St Charles, LA Teachers had threesome with gossippy student Two English teachers at a Louisiana high school are facing felony charges for allegedly having sexual relations with the same 16-year-old male student whose recent “bragging” to other pupils prompted a criminal investigation targeting the female educators. Police yesterday arrested Shelley Dufresne, 32, for having "inappropriate sexual contact" with the boy, who is a junior at Destrehan High School in St. Charles, a parish about 25 miles west of New Orleans. Dufresne is the victim's English teacher, cops report. Dufresne, who has taught English at the school for ten years, was released from jail last night on $200,000 bond. Pictured above, Dufresne, who is married with three children, was placed on house arrest. Investigators allege that Dufresne had sex with the teenager earlier this month in a residence in Montz (where Dufresne lives). Sheriff’s investigators first learned of the alleged incident last week, when school officials reported that “a male student was bragging to other students that he was having a sexual relationship with teachers.” Dufresne and another Destrehan High School teacher, Rachel Respess, have been charged in a separate jurisdiction with jointly having sexual contact with the minor. The educators have been accused by police of an illicit sexual tryst this month in Kenner, a city in Jefferson Parish (which neighbors St. Charles Parish). Respess turned herself in to Kenner police this morning on a felony carnal knowledge of a juvenile count. She was also charged with indecent behavior and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Respess was the victim's English teacher last year. Kenner police charged Dufresne with the same three counts as Respess. Investigators allege that the threesome at Respess’s apartment began on the evening of September 12 and continued into the following morning (Dufresne turned 32 on September 12). During a press conference this afternoon, police Chief Michael Glasser said that Respess provided cops with details of the encounter in her home, but “stopped short of a total confession.” He added that investigators are seeking additional evidence, an apparent reference to photos that were reportedly taken during the sex session. Like Dufresne, the 24-year-old Respess is a Louisiana State University graduate. She has taught English at Destrehan High School for two years. ------ There seems to be an epidemic of married English teachers picking gossipy students. Post Traumatic Stress from bad grammar? What else could be the cause of that? Why are married English teachers so much less careful when selecting boys? Tech Support Pits From: Beverly Re: Erratic monitor Dear Webby, Your hunor letter and my first cup of coffee make my morning. I have an older computer and I'm on a fixed income and can't afford a new one. What's happening is that everything is spread out beyond the sides of the screen. Sometimes it jumps back to normal. Is there anything that can be done? Thank you, Bev. Dear Bev That sounds like a monitor that needs what we techs call "Percussive Maintenance". You whack the monitor a good slap with your hand. Then it will usually behave for a while. However, it's definitely destined for a one way trip to the recycling depot. 1) Turn the couch upside down and shake out the lost coins to start your monitor replacement fund. 2) Do a house and attic cleaning and sell a bunch of stuff on ebay. 3) Select a monitor that fits your desk and budget. A good source is http://pricegrabber.com Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ready Made Salads In Ziploc Bowls Like many couples with no kids in the house, we don't eat as we should. Here's a way to get a few more veggies in. Take one bag of salad lettuce and divide it into 6 bowls with lids (I use 20 oz Ziploc bowls) add tomatoes, a couple of olives, sliced mushrooms, cucumbers or whatever salad veggies you want. Put them in the refrigerator. Then when you are stalking the refrigerator for something to eat, you will have a few ready made salads that you are more likely to eat first before grabbing that muffin. You only have to add the dressing and maybe a little feta and you're ready to go. They will last 2-3 days. One last thing: use grape or cherry tomatoes, it's more likely to last longer because cut up tomatoes will release more acid and gases that cause the lettuce to wilt. By melmarr from Michigan http://www. thriftyfun.com/

Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Fran I put a roast in the oven one noon hour and set the timer, a feature I hadn't used yet. Before leaving work that afternoon, I phoned my 14-year-old son to ask him to check the roast and peel some potatoes. Minutes later he called back. "Mom, the roast isn't cooked. The oven didn't come on." The roast was on the menu again the following day, but this time, since I stopped by the house after a business lunch, I decided to turn the oven on myself. Again before leaving work, I called my son to check the roast and get the potatoes started. Again he called me back. "The roast still isn't cooked." "Listen," I said. "I know the oven's on. I turned it on before I left. I didn't use the timer." "Oh, the stove's working fine," he told me. "It's just that the roast is still in the refrigerator."
A college professor had the mysterious habit of walking into the lecture hall each morning, removing a tennis ball from his jacket pocket. He would set it on the corner of the podium. After giving the lecture for the day, he would once again pick up the tennis ball, place it into his jacket pocket, and leave the room. No one ever understood why he did this, until one day. . . A student fell asleep during the lecture. The professor never missed a word of his lecture while he walked over to the podium, picked up the tennis ball and threw it, hitting the sleeping student squarely on the top of the head. The next day, the professor walked into the room, reached into his jacket, removed a baseball. No one ever fell asleep in his class the rest of the semester! ----------- I remember one professor who used to grab a chalk board eraser, wiped the chalk ledge with it to really coat it with chalk, and then bean a sleeper. You can imagine the explosion of chalk totally covering the hapless sleeper and identifying him for the rest of the day. I did homework during his lectures and don't remember a single word of what he said.

» Penguins 2 Pumpkins

Today in 

1863 U.S. President Lincoln declared that the last Thursday 
 of November would be recognized as Thanksgiving Day. 
1893 The motor-driven vacuum cleaner was patented by J.S. Thurman. 
1901 The Victor Talking Machine Company was incorporated. 
 After a merger with Radio Corporation of America the company 
 became RCA-Victor. 
1929 The Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes officially 
 changed its name to the Kingdom of Yugoslavia. 
1932 Iraq was admitted into the League of Nations leading 
 Britain to terminate their mandate over the nation. Britain 
 had ruled Iraq since taking it from Turkey during World War I. 
1935 Italian forces invaded Abyssinia (now Ethiopia). 
1941 Adolf Hitler stated in a speech that Russia was "broken" 
 and they "would never rise again." 
1944 During World War II, U.S. troops broke through the 
 Siegfried Line. 
1952 Britain became the third nuclear power in the world when 
 they successfully detonated their first atomic bomb.
1955 "Captain Kangaroo" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1962 The Sigma VII blasted off from Cape Canaveral for a 
 nine-hour flight. 
1981 Irish Nationalists in Maze Prison in Belfast, Northern 
 Ireland called off their hunger strike. The strike had lasted 
 7 months and ten people had died. 
1989 East Germany suspended unrestricted travel to Czechoslovakia 
in an effort to slow the flow of refugees to the West. 
1990 The Berlin Wall was dismantled eleven months after the 
 borders between East and West Germany were dissolved. The 
 unification of Germany ended 45 years of division. 
1990 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein made a visit to Kuwait 
 since his country had seized control of the oil-rich nation. 
1994 The headquarters of the Haitian pro-army militia was 
 raided by U.S. soldiers. 
2003 Ray Horn, of the duo "Siegfried & Roy," was attacked 
 by tiger during a performance. Roy survived the attack 
 after being dragged offstage. The tiger, a 7-year-old 
 male named Montecore, was debuting in his first show. 
2006 North Korea announced that it would conduct a nuclear 
 test as a key step in the manufacture of atomic bombs 
 that it viewed as a deterrent against a U.S. attack.
2014  smiled.


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Spam with no text 






Today is Thursday, October 2

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an MA woman arrested after giving cops fake name of wanted person Details at Boneheads Today, in 1937 Warner Bros. released "Love Is on the Air." Ronald Reagan made his acting debut in the motion picture. He was 26 years old.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Philosophy triumphs easily over past and over future evils, but present evils triumph over philosophy. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. --- Albert Einstein
Mrs. Spiegel was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't believe in capital punishment and didn't want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course. The public defender liked her thoughtfulness, and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury. "Madam," he explained, "This is not a murder trial! It's a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $12,000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday." "Well, okay," agreed Mrs. Spiegel, "I'll serve. I guess I could be wrong about capital punishment after all."
Sixty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 61 years.
Thanks to Betty for sending this picture: Click through for the large picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tina Lunn, 37, Braintree, MA Arrested After Giving Cops Fake Name Of Wanted Person Tip: If you give cops a fake name, make sure it's not that of a person wanted for more serious crimes than the small infraction you're accused of committing. Boston transit police were slapping Tina Lunn with a citation for smoking in a non-smoking area, when she allegedly tried to avoid any penalties by giving a fake name and birth date. However, there was an arrest warrant out for a person with the name that Lunn gave police, MyFoxBoston reports. Although the officer informed Lunn about the arrest warrant, she didn't reveal that she had given a fake name. In fact, she went through the entire booking process using her new assumed name, TPDNews.com reports. Eventually, officers discovered Lunn's real identity. Officers said they also discovered that Lunn had several warrants out under her real name, including three counts of assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, kidnapping, larceny, and illegal possession of chemical mace, according to Boston.com. Lunn was then booked under her real name and charged with brandishing a false name, She was also given a citation for smoking, according to police. Tech Support Pits From: Victor Re: Spam with just pictures or exe files Dear Webby, I am getting inundated with spam that has no text, just pictures or PDF or exe files. Every time I make a new filter, they seem to come up with a new file type. How do you deal with those? Victor Dear Victor That spam is generated by a virus. I don't really want to dump mail that has pictures attached, so I looked for a typo or anomaly typical for that type of spam. Since most spammers are rather dumb, it's usually quite easy to find something that you don't see in legitimate emails. With this filter I use an abnormal head to body boundary as the trigger. This filter dumps about 2000 spams from my mail per day, unseen, automatically. If the entire header contains "="----=_" or "----------bound--" then automatically (without warning or notification) delete the message. This filter takes priority over the friends list. Pick anything you see only in any type of spam and not in legitimate mail. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shop Once a Week Shopping only once a week and going to the store on your busiest day is the key to spending less on groceries. Over the past few months I have stuck to a simple rule: Grocery shopping once a week. If you are not in the store, you cannot spend money, you can't fall prey to slick marketing and "buy more, save more" types of incentives. With the exception of baby items (formula, diapers) I have found that the once a week schedule works just fine. If we run out of milk or eggs, I just become more creative by using other stuff and patiently wait until "shopping day". By Bella Swan from Forks, WA http://www. thriftyfun.com/

Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Marnie After I had injured one of my shins for the umpteenth time, my doctor suggested I wear some sort of protection. Remembering the shin guards I wore when I played soccer over 60 years ago, I went to a local sporting goods store. I'm a petite, elderly woman, so when a young man came to help me, I said, "Don't laugh, but I'm looking for a pair of shin guards for soccer." "Okay," he said with a completely straight face. "What position do you play?"
Mary was almost crazy with her three young kids. She complained to her best friend Judy: "They're driving me nuts! They give me no rest! I'm half way to the funny farm!" "What you need," said Judy, "is a playpen. So Mary bought a playpen. A few days later, Judy called to ask how things were going. "Superb! I can't believe it," Mary said. "I get in that pen with my laptop, a coffee, a chocolate bar, and the kids don't bother me for hours!"

» Penguins 2 Pumpkins

Today in 
1492 King Henry VII of England invaded France. 
1780 British army major John Andre was hanged as a spy. 
 He was carrying information about the actions of 
 Benedict Arnold. 
1835 The first battle of the Texas Revolution took place 
 near the Guadalupe River when American settlers defeated 
 a Mexican cavalry unit. 
1836 Charles Darwin returned to England after 5 years of 
 acquiring knowledge around the world about fauna, flora, 
 wildlife and geology. He used the information to develop 
 his "theory of evolution" which he unveiled in his 1859 
 book entitled The Origin of Species by Means of Natural 
 Selection. 
1870 Rome was made the capital of Italy. 
1876 The Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas opened. 
 It was the state's first venture into public higher education. 
 The school was formally dedicated 2 days later by Texas Gov. 
 Richard Coke. 
1924 The Geneva Protocol adopted the League of Nations. 
1925 Scottish inventor John Logie Baird completed the first 
 transmission of moving images. 
1937 Warner Bros. released "Love Is on the Air." Ronald 
 Reagan made his acting debut in the motion picture. He was 
 26 years old. 
1941 Operation Typhoon was launched by Nazi Germany. The 
 plan was an all-out offensive against Moscow. 
1944 The Nazis crushed the Warsaw Uprising. 
1948 The first automobile race to use asphalt, cement and 
 dirt roads took place in Watkins Glen in New York. It was 
 the first road race in the U.S. following World War II. 
1958 Guinea, the French colony in West Africa, proclaimed 
 its independence.
1962 U.S. ports were closed to nations that allowed their 
 ships to carry arms to Cuba, ships that had docked in a 
 socialist country were prohibited from docking in the 
 United States during that voyage, and the transport of 
 U.S. goods was banned on ships owned by companies that 
 traded with Cuba. 
1989 In Leipzig, East Germany a protest took place demanding 
 the legalization of opposition groups and the adoption of 
 democratic reforms. 
1990 The Allies ceded their rights to areas they occupied 
 in Germany. 
1993 Opponents of Russian President Boris Yeltsin fought 
 police and set up burning barricades. 
1998 Hawaii sued petroleum companies, claiming state drivers 
 were overcharged by about $73 million a year in price-fixing. 
1998 About 10,000 Turkish soldiers crossed into northern Iraq 
 and attacked Kurdish rebels. 
2001 NATO, for the first time, invoked a treaty clause that 
 stated that an attack on one member is an attack on all 
 members. The act was in response to the September 11, 2001, 
 terrorist attacks in the United States.
2014  smiled.


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Is there good Spyware? 





Today is Wednesday, October 1

Re yesterday's question about Lillemor's mushroom:

Lwreed wrote:
That is a chicken mushroom.  very delicious with a 
texture like a chicken breast. Cook it like chicken.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Floriduh man refuses to move his car for emergency helicopter landing Details at Boneheads Today, in 1991 The U.S. trust territory of Palau became independent.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914)
A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items. She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with his back turned to her. "Excuse me," she said, "I'm in a hurry. Could you check me out, please?" The clerk turned, looked her up and down, and smiled, "Not bad. Quite cute, actually! But this till won't work until I talk the manager into rebooting the computer."
>From Sandy Dear Webby, can you please dig out the "Tndjuberrymud" piece and print it again? Thanks Sandy Sure. here it is: Room Service (RS): "Morny. Ruin sorbees" Guest (G) "Sorry, I thought I dialled room-service" RS: "Rye. Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to ordor sunteen? G: "Uh. Yes. I'd like some bacon and eggs" RS: Ow July den?" G: "What?" RS: "Ow July den?..pry, boy, pooch?" G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled please." RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?" G: "Crisp will be fine." RS: "Hokay. An San tos?" G: "What?" RS: "San tos. July San tos?" G: "I don't think so." RS: "NO? July one toes??" G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'july one toes' means." RS: "Toes! toes!..why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow slinglish moppin we bother?" G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast'. Fine. Yes, and English muffin will be fine." RS: "We bother?" G: "No..just put the bother on the side." RS: "Wad?" G. "I mean butter..just put it on the side." RS: Copy?" G: "Sorry." RS: "Copy..tea..mill?" G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all." RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish moppin we bother honey sigh, and copy...rye?" G: "Whatever you say" RS: "Tenjewberrymud." G: "You're welcome."
Click through for the large picture Guangxi, China
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to James Allen, 52, DAYTONA BEACH, Floriduh Floriduh man refuses to move his car for emergency helicopter landing A Florida man was arrested after deputies say he refused to move his car so a helicopter could land and transport a victim to the hospital after a serious car accident. Authorities in central Florida's Volusia County say 26-year-old Tessa George lost control over her vehicle Thursday and struck a tree. Deputies called for a helicopter to airlift George to a hospital and blocked off traffic for the landing. But deputies say James Allen, a 52-year-old physician's assistant, refused to move his car. The Daytona Beach News-Journal reports Allen was charged with failure to obey police-fire department orders and resisting an officer without violence. He was released on his own recognizance Friday from a county jail. Tech Support Pits From: Carol Re: Good Spyware ? Dear Webby, When using Spy Bot, are there any items we should look for that should not be deleted? Or whatever Spy Bot finds, get rid of it? Thanks, Carol Dear Carol There isn't really any Spyware or Malware that needs to be on the computer. I just let it rip and do it's stuff. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shop Once a Week Shopping only once a week and going to the store on your busiest day is the key to spending less on groceries. Over the past few months I have stuck to a simple rule: Grocery shopping once a week. If you are not in the store, you cannot spend money, you can't fall prey to slick marketing and "buy more, save more" types of incentives. With the exception of baby items (formula, diapers) I have found that the once a week schedule works just fine. If we run out of milk or eggs, I just become more creative by using other stuff and patiently wait until "shopping day". By Bella Swan from Forks, WA http://www. thriftyfun.com/

Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked. The young man thought for a moment, and said, "No, just engrave the words - To My One And Only Love - Forever! That way, if we break up, I can use it again."
If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be . . . until the looting started.

» Niagara Falls Frozen

Today in 
1569 The Duke of Norfolk was imprisoned by Britain's Queen 
 Elizabeth for trying to marry Mary the Queen of Scots. 
1800 Spain ceded the territory of Louisiana back to France. 
 Later the property would be purchased by the U.S. 
 effectively doubling its size. 
1880 Thomas Edison began the commercial production of 
 electric lamps at Edison Lamp Works in Menlo Park. 
1890 The U.S. Congress passed the McKinley Tariff Act. 
 The act raised tariffs to a record level. 
1896 Rural Free Delivery was established by the U.S. 
 Post Office. 
1908 The Model T automobile was introduced by Henry Ford. 
 The purchase price of the car was $850. 
1918 Damascus was captured from the Turks during WWWI by a 
 force made up of British and Arab forces. 
1936 General Francisco Franco was proclaimed the head of 
 the Spanish state. 
1938 German forces enter Czechoslovakia and seized control 
 of the Sudetenland. They were not opposed. The Munich Pact 
 had been signed two days before. 
1940 The Pennsylvania Turnpike opened as the first toll 
 superhighway in the United States. 
1943 Naples was captured by the Allied forces during WWII. 
1946 The International War Crimes Tribunal in Nuremberg 
 sentenced 12 Nazi officials to death. Seven others were 
 sentenced to prison terms and 3 were acquitted. 
1949 Mao Tse-tung raised the first flag of the People's 
 Republic of China when the communist forces had defeated 
 the Nationalists. The Nationalist forces fled to Taiwan. 
1964 The Free Speech Movement was started at the University 
 of California at Berkeley. 
1971 Walt Disney World opened in Orlando, FL. 
1972 The Chinese government approved friendly relations 
 with the United States. 
1979 The United States handed control of the Canal Zone 
 over to Panama. 
1982 EPCOT (Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow) 
 Center opened in Florida. The concept was planned by 
 Walt Disney. 
1985 The PLO's headquarters in Tunisia was raided by 
 Israeli jet fighters. 
1988 Mikhail Gorbachev assumed the Soviet presidency. 
1989 7,000 East Germans were welcomed into West Germany 
 after they were allowed to leave by the communist government. 
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush addressed the U.N. 
 General Assembly and once again condemned Iraq's takeover 
 of Kuwait. 
1990 In Croatia, minority Serbs proclaimed autonomy. 
1991 U.S. President Bush condemned the military coup in 
 Haiti that removed President Jean-Bertrand Aristide from 
 power. U.S. economic and military aid was suspended. 
1991 The U.S. trust territory of Palau became independent. 
1992 The Strategic Arm Reduction Treaty was approved by 
 the U.S. Senate. 
1994 The U.S. and Japan avoided a trade war by reaching 
 a series of trade agreements. 
1994 The National Hockey League (NHL) team owners began 
 a lockout of the players that lasted 103 days. 
1995 Sheik Omar Abdel-Rahman and nine other defendants 
 were convicted in New York of conspiring to attack the 
 U.S. through bombings, kidnappings and assassinations. 
1996 Lucent Technologies became an independent company. 
1998 The U.S. government posted a $2.2 million reward for 
 the capture of Augustin Vasquez Mendoza. He is accused 
 of killing an undercover U.S. agent during a drug 
 purchase in 1994. 
1999 The 50th anniversary of the founding of the Peoples 
 Republic of China was celebrated in Beijing. 
2001 San Francisco's Board of Supervisors voted unanimously 
 to ban Internet filters designed to keep pornography away 
 from children at city libraries. The board left the decision 
 up to the Library Commission to decide whether to install 
 filtering software in children's areas. A federal law in 
 the U.S. mandated the use of the filters. 
2014  smiled.


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Phishing scam emails 





Today is Tuesday, September 30

W9 is free
In Indonesia, where they are ahead of us in time and date,
Microsoft announced that W9 will be free to anybody, who
has W8 and is willing to over-write it with W9.
Sounds like they are embarrassed about W8.

The User Interface of W9 is apparently closer to W7, and
they copied a bunch of Linux features, but it is mostly
the current W7, which has been fixed with countless updates
and has become quite usable.

With XP-SP4 and a way to get updates until 2019 leaked out,
they really rushed W9 to just overwrite W8 fast.
They COULD have re-released W7, maybe called it W7-Octoberfest,
and slowed the migration from W8 to Linux and XP a lot
more efficiently than with a free, but unknown W9.

Somebody should tell them that there are real users out 
here, who try to get some work done, not just paid shills
at the computer magazines, who only play a bit on computers,
that they did not pay for.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Oregon Man High on Meth Beats Off 12 Cops, Self Details at Boneheads Today, in 1938 The Munich Conference ended with a decision to appease Adolf Hitler. Britain, and France allowed Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland to be annexed by the Nazis.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988),
'Wave' hoax: Don't microwave your iPhone 6 Sep 25, 2014 LOS ANGELES (UPI) -- The iPhone 6 is so hot right now. The Los Angeles Police Department is warning smartphone users who may not be so smart to avoid trying to charge their iPhone 6 by putting it in the microwave. The LAPD said on its Twitter account iPhone 6 users should be wary of fake online ads claiming the latest Apple software update includes a function called "Wave" that allows the smartphones to be charged by cooking them in a microwave. "This #Wave capability is a #hoax. Don't be fooled into microwaving your #iPhone6. #Apple #Smartphone," the department's tweet read. Brian Humphrey, spokesman for the Los Angeles Fire Department, said putting a phone in the microwave could lead to property damage and injury.
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted, "Well, don't you have something to ask me?" Dave then got down on bended knee. "Honey," he said, "will you buy me a new computer?"
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture Click through for the large picture Lillemor has this mushroom growing on an old Eucalyptus stump and wonders if it is edible. Does anybody know?
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andrew Frey, 37, Beaverton, OR. Oregon Man High on Meth Beats Off 12 Cops, Self Andrew Frey claims he has no recollection of the string of bizarre events that involved methamphetamine, tasers, and public masturbation. Andrew Frey from Beaverton, OR, claims his consumption of meth caused him to have no recollection of a string of events last week that culminated in a confrontation with more than 12 police officers as he put on a public display of what most people do in private. Apparently Frey, 37, began his afternoon by refusing to pay a locksmith that he had hired. Then he walked over to a local market and refused to leave. After being escorted from the market by an employee, Frey walked to Iggy’s Bar & Grill where, according to a bartender, he exposed himself and started masturbating and police were called. When the Marion County deputy arrived, Frey had already moved on to the restroom, where he was still apparently enjoying his own company. Frey resisted arrest, fought with the deputy, and was zapped by a taser several times. According to officials, the stun gun had no effect and more than a dozen officers were called to the bar inside to subdue him. Later, Frey told officials that he had used methamphetamine the previous day and had no memory of his bizarre behavior. He was charged with theft, resisting arrest, and public indecency. Tech Support Pits From: Randall Re: Phishing scam mail Webby,  Hope all is well with your eyes, love the Letter first thing i check on each and every day. My question is about IP Address'es. My computer at home has one IP Address, does my Android device have a IP Address of its own? Got a email from someone who says i tried to change my password and my ip address was this, but it was the wrong one..so i am waiting to hear from you before i proceed with that email...If my device has its own IP Address where can i find this animal so i can put it my records...any assistance would be greatly appreciated...have a great week ahead... Cajunbuckeye59 Hi Randall Whenever anybody tells you BS like that, just dump that mail. It is a scammer trying to phish your user name and password. Don't even tell them to go ..., just dump their mail and forget them. Yes, your Android most likely has a totally different IP address, that is dynamically assigned whenever and wherever you happen to turn it on. You can always check your IP address by going to http://webby.com/ip However, don't be impressed if some scammer reads your IP address and then tries to pretend to be official. Don't even bother recording the scammer's IP address. If he emailed from a mobile device, that too will change. Just dump the crap and flush. NEVER ever click on a link in such an email! If the scammer implies you changed the password for your bank account, open a fresh browser window, go to the bank, and log in. You will see that your password is unchanged. The same with PayPal and any other online deal, that you got. Always go there from a fresh browser window, NEVER from a handy link in an email. If PayPal sends you anything with a link in it, it is not to your account, but just to some general information read-me pages. When you get MailWasher, it will probably flag that mail for deleting. It recognizes crap like that. And in the header that it shows you, it shows what the real link underlying a phony link is. If a link pretending to be a link to PayPal shows an underlying foot long link to a Russian or Chinese domain, then you KNOW for sure that the mail is just a trap. DUMP IT. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Terra Cotta Lighthouse Terra Cotta Lighthouse This terracotta lighthouse is just 2 large plant pots cemented together and painted, with a lantern on top. By patanthar http://www. thriftyfun.com/

Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

From Rosa Waiting for our aerobics class to begin, several of us were standing around in our leotards chatting about fitness and diets. One woman said that her brother-in-law had quit smoking, gone on a diet and lost weight all at the same time. Thinking to myself that no human being could possibly do this without acquiring at least one other undesirable habit for compensation, I jokingly asked her, "What did he start doing instead of these things?" After a slight pause, she smiled and said, "Well, my sister is pregnant now."
An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your country and then sue the landowners for lots of money?" Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law. "No, no," one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks."

» Rip Curls

Today in 
1399 Henry Bolingbroke became the King of England as Henry IV. 
1777 The Congress of the United States moved to York, PA, due 
 to advancing British forces. 
1787 The Columbia left Boston and began the trip that would 
 make it the first American vessel to sail around the world. 
1846 Dr. William Morton performed a painless tooth extraction 
 after administering ether to a patient. 
1868 Spain's Queen Isabella was deposed and fled to France. 
1882 In Appleton, WI, the America's first hydroelectric power 
 plant began operating. 
1938 The Munich Conference ended with a decision to appease 
 Adolf Hitler. Britain, and France allowed Czechoslovakia's 
 Sudetenland to be annexed by the Nazis. 
1946 An international military tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany, 
 found 22 top Nazi leaders guilty of war crimes. 
1949 The Berlin Airlift came to an end. The airlift had taken 
 2.3 million tons of food into the western sector despite the 
 Soviet blockade. 
1954 The U.S. Navy commissioned the Nautilus submarine at 
 Groton, CT. It was the first atomic-powered vessel. The 
 submarine had been launched on January 21, 1954. 
1963 The Soviet Union publicly declared itself on the side of 
 India in their dispute with Pakistan over Kashmir. 
1966 Albert Speer and Baldur von Schirach were released at 
 midnight from Spandau prison after completing their 20-year 
 sentences. Speer was the Nazi minister of armaments and von 
 Schirach was the founder of Hitler Youth. 
1971 The Soviet Union and the United States signed pacts that 
 were aimed at avoiding an accidental nuclear war. 
1971 A committee of nine people was organized to investigate 
 the prison riot at Attica, NY. 10 hostages and 32 prisoners 
 were killed when National Guardsmen stormed the prison on 
 September 13, 1971. 
1976 California enacted the Natural Death Act of California. 
 The law was the first example of right-to-die legislation 
 in the U.S. 
1980 Israel issued its new currency, the shekel, to replace 
 the pound. 
1983 The first AH-64 Apache attack helicopter was rolled out 
 by McDonnell Douglas Helicopter Company. 
1982 "Cheers" began an 11-year run on NBC-TV. 
1986 The U.S. released accused Soviet spy Gennadiy Zakharov, 
 one day after the Nicholas Daniloff had been released by 
 the Soviets. 
1987 Mikhail S. Gorbachev retired President Andrei A. Gromyko 
 from the Politburo and fired other old-guard leaders in a 
 shake-up at the Kremlin. 
1989 Thousands of East Germans began emigrating under an 
 accord between the NATO nations and the Soviet Union. 
1989 Non-Communist Cambodian guerrillas claimed that they 
 had captured 3 towns and 10 other positions from the 
 residing government forces. 
1990 The Soviet Union and South Korea opened diplomatic 
 relations. 
1991 Haiti's first freely elected president, Jean-Bertrand 
 Aristide, was overthrown by Brigadier General Raoul Cedras. 
 Aristide was later returned to power. 
1992 Moscow banks distributed privatization vouchers aimed 
 at turning millions of Russians into capitalists. 
1997 France's Roman Catholic Church apologized for its 
 silence during the persecution and deportation of Jews by 
 the pro-Nazi Vichy regime. 
1998 Gov. Pete Wilson of California signed a bill into law 
 that defined "invasion of privacy as trespassing with the 
 intent to capture audio or video images of a celebrity 
 or crime victim engaging in a personal of family activity." 
 The law went into effect January 1, 1999. 
1999 In Tokaimura, Japan, radiation escaped a nuclear facility 
 after workers accidentally set off an uncontrolled nuclear 
 chain reaction. 
2014  smiled.


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What could be causing shadows on fonts? 





Today is Monday, September 29

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Virginia man broke into a hotel room to order food at 2 am. He got busted instead of room service. Details at Boneheads Today, in 1990 "Millie's Book" by First Lady Barbara Bush was the best-selling non-fiction book in the U.S.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It is a curious thing... that every creed promises a paradise which will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste. --- Evelyn Waugh (1903 - 1966) History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. --- Napoleon Bonaparte History is the version of past events that the winners have decided to agree upon. --- Dwight D Eisenhower
With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says "not yet." A little later they ask again to see the baby. Again the mother says "not yet." Finally they say, "When can we see the baby?" And the mother says, "When the baby cries." They all ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?" The new mother says, "because I forgot where I put it."
A man and a woman are driving down the highway when another car passes them. The woman notices that the occupants of the other car are young and obviously in love. The girl is sitting very close to her boyfriend as they cruise on down the highway. This causes the woman to think back when she and her husband were young and in love, and wondering where the show of affection had disappeared to over the years. Finally she says to her husband, "Remember when we used to be like that young couple? Where did the love go, honey?" Her question was met with a few moments of silence. Then, after glancing at his gnarled hands on the steering wheel he quietly replied, "I haven't moved."
Click through for the large picture The ‘wind and rain’ bridges are feats of architectural brilliance, and all are built without a single nail or bolt to hold them together. Built by the Dong people of China, these covered bridges are beautiful examples of Chinese architecture and are constructed using only stone and wood.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Vinod Adhikary, 30, Manassas, Va. Breaking Into Hotel Room And Ordering Room Service at 2 am Those late night hunger pains can really gnaw at one's gut, but who wants to cook at that hour? Not Vinod Adhikary, who police say broke into a room at the Old Town Inn in Manassas, Va., on Wednesday -- just to order room service. Employees called the police after getting a room service request after 2 a.m. from Adhikary. They nixed the order when they realized he dialed from a room that wasn't booked for the night, and sent the cops instead Cops came to the Inn and charged Adhikary, 30, with unlawful entry and public intoxication. Tech Support Pits From: Betty Re: Shadow on fonts Hi Webby, this is 10 AM this morning, then the sun came out & a lovely warm day! Rains coming soon tho. I just noticed today, that look at the shadows of everything? parts in the picture, past it & even my typing??? What unlucky button did I find to create that? or how can I get rid of it? I hope you can please give me a clue, only thing I had to do yesterday was update Adobe??? Thanks for any help. TC, Betty Dear Betty I have never come across anything, that causes shadows on it's own. When I make shadows on text in the names under mug shots, that is a deliberate trick in PSP. Other than that, I don't know of anything that causes shadows on text. It would seem that either the video card or the monitor has a severe problem. Can you try a different monitor on that machine? Good Luck! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Nail Polish Remover for Ink on Vinyl Couch I got ball point pen on a beige vinyl couch. I tried everything to get it out; stain remover for pen, alcohol, bleach, toothpaste, WD40, Soft Scrub and none of them worked. I read that nail polish remover works, but I was afraid to use it. I did a test on the underneath and, sure enough, it did not hurt the vinyl and took most of the ink out. There is just a slight stain left, you really have to look for it. Be sure and do a test first. By Sue Gurney [1] http://www. thriftyfun.com/

Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?" He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'" "She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?" "She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"
Friend: "I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?" Woman: "Yes, it's a lock of my husband's hair." Friend: "But your husband is still alive." Woman: "I know, but his hair is gone."

» Rip Curls

Today in 
1789 A regular army was established by the U.S. War Department 
 with several hundred men. 
1829 The first public appearance by London's re-organized 
 police force was met with jeers from political opponents. 
 The force became known as Scotland Yard. 
1930 Bing Crosby and Dixie Lee were married. 
1962 U.S. President John F. Kennedy nationalized the 
 Mississippi National guard in response to city officials 
 defying federal court orders. The orders had been to enroll 
 James Meredith at the University of Mississippi. 
1967 The International Monetary Fund reformed monetary 
 systems around the world. 
1977 Eva Shain became the first woman to officiate a 
 heavyweight title boxing match. About 70 million people 
 watched Muhammad Ali defeat Ernie Shavers on NBC-TV. 
1982 In Chicago, IL, seven people died after taking capsules 
 of Extra-Strength Tylenol that had been laced with cyanide. 
 264,000 bottles were recalled. 
1983 The War Powers Act was used for the first time by the 
 U.S. Congress when they authorized President Reagan to keep 
 U.S. Marines in Lebanon for 18 more months. 
1984 Irish officials announced that they had intercepted the 
 Marita Anne carrying seven tons of U.S.-purchased weapons. 
 The weapons were intended for the Irish Republican Army. 
1984 Elizabeth Taylor was voted to be the world's most 
 beautiful woman in a Louis Harris poll. Taylor was at the 
 time in the Betty Ford Clinic overcoming a weight problem. 
1990 "Millie's Book" by First Lady Barbara Bush was the 
 best-selling non-fiction book in the U.S. 
1992 Brazilian lawmakers overwhelmingly voted to impeach 
 President Fernando Collor de Mello. 
1993 Bosnia's parliament voted overwhelmingly to reject an 
 international peace plan unless Bosnian Serbs returned 
 land that had been taken by force. 
1994 The U.S. House voted to end the practice of lobbyists 
 buying meals and entertainment for members of Congress. 
2010 In China, Canton Tower became operational. 
2014  smiled.


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Ezinefinder problems again 





Today is Sunday, September 28

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a New York Uber driver busted for groping customer Details at Boneheads Today, in 1924 The first around-the-world flight was completed by two U.S. Army planes when they landed in Seattle, WA. The trip took 175 days.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. --- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977) My toughest fight was with my first wife. --- Muhammad Ali (1942 - 2013)
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what's my problem?" Doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water."
You admit having broken into the dress shop four times?" asked the judge. "Yes," answered the suspect. "And what did you steal?" "A dress, Your Honor," replied the subject. "One dress?" echoed the judge. "But you admit breaking in four times!" "Yes, Your Honor," sighed the suspect. "The first three times my wife didn't like the color."
Click through for the large picture Moscow from 240 Miles up
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ramy Botros, 28,Orlando, Floriduh Orlando Uber driver busted for groping passenger An Uber driver was arrested yesterday and charged with battery for allegedly placing his hands down the shirt of a 25-year-old female customer. The victim told police that she was en route last Friday night to meet her boyfriend at his Orlando residence when driver Ramy Botros “began driving in an odd pattern and back tracking several times.” The 28-year-old Botros, she added, made “comments to her about how ‘Attractive' and ‘Pretty’ she was,” according to an arrest report. At one point, the woman told cops, Botros stopped his Honda Civic and placed his hand down the front of her tank top and “touched her breasts in an aggressive manner.” The victim, police added, “was not wearing an undershirt or bra, so his hand touched her directly on her breast.” “Do not touch my boobs or I will hit you in your face!,” the woman recalled telling Botros, an Egyptian immigrant. The passenger told investigators that while she was afraid of Botros, she “tried to play off his actions as harmless,” and even asked for his business card when she arrived at her destination. During the ride, the woman used her phone to record part of her interaction with Botros, since “she had read several things about the ‘Uber’ drivers sexually battering women.” After the woman yesterday picked Botros from a photo lineup, cops summoned him to police headquarters, where he agreed to an interview. Botros, pictured above, told a cop that the victim was “wearing a revealing shirt with no bra.” He added that, in Egypt, if a “girl like her” dressed like the victim, “it means she asking for that.” Despite that shaky rationale, Botros was arrested on the misdemeanor charge and booked into the county jail (from which he was released today after posting $500 bond). In response to Botros’s arrest, Uber has suspended his driver’s account, according to a statement from the car service company. Tech Support Pits From: Carole Re: Ezinefinder problem again Webby, I haven't been able to vote for you for the last two days. What is going on? Carole Dear Carole Yes, I know that the Ezinefinder server is still down. They are not hosted by us, and there is nothing I can do about it. Our servers were attacked too on Wednesday, but while we were able to block the attack, two machines were not accessible for almost ten minutes while we implemented some changes to cope with that kind of attack. Since that was after 3 am, I doubt any of you noticed. It sure was a frantic 10 minute scramble to get everything running and accessible again. At Ezinefinder they have a much more relaxed approach to accessibility. Their support does not even answer my emails telling them about their problem. Maybe you can get through to them. However, considering that their customary 3 votes for their Gardening newsletter were missing all week, even before their server crashed, they might be on their Fall vacation. This seems to happen every fall. Try anyway. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cutting Watermelon Sticks This is an easy way to prepare a watermelon and is a kid friendly way to serve it. Start by cutting the watermelon in half using a sharp knife. Lay the watermelon, cut side down on a cutting board. Cut it into 1 inch slices, but keep them all standing up against each other. Then rotate the cutting board and cut the watermelon into 1 inch slices going the other direction. You can serve the watermelon, either by letting people pull a stick of melon out themselves or you can arrange them onto a plate. Enjoy! By lalala... [489] http://www. thriftyfun.com/

Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

One morning a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches. An alter boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he'd just seen. "Son, you've just witnessed a miracle," the priest said. "Tell me where is this man now?" "Flat on his ass over by the holy water," said the boy.
A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker are sitting in a restaurant in London. The waiter says, "Excuse me, but the steak on the menu is not available, as there's a shortage." The Texan asks, "What's a shortage?" The Russian asks, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker asks, "What the bloody hell does 'excuse me' mean?"

» Mother Nature's Hissy Fit

Today in 
1066 England was invaded by William the Conqueror who 
 claimed the English throne. 
1542 San Diego, CA, was discovered by Portuguese navigator 
 Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo. 
1687 The Turks surrendered Athens to the Venetians. 
1781 During the Revolutionary War, American forces began 
 the siege on Yorktown, VA. 
1850 The U.S. Navy abolished flogging as a form of punishment. 
1850 U.S. President Millard Fillmore named Brigham Young the 
 first governor of the Utah territory. In 1857, U.S. President 
 James Buchanan removed Young from the position. 
1892 The first nighttime football game in the U.S. took place 
 under electric lights. The game was between the Mansfield 
 State Normal School and the Wyoming Seminary. 
1915 The British defeated the Turks in Mesopotamia at 
 Kut-el-Amara. 
1924 The first around-the-world flight was completed by two 
 U.S. Army planes when they landed in Seattle, WA. The trip 
 took 175 days. 
1939 During World War II, Germany and the Soviet Union agreed 
 upon a plan on the division of Poland. 
1950 The United Nations admitted Indonesia. 
1972 Communist China and Japan agreed to re-establish 
 diplomatic relations. 
1974 First Lady Betty Ford underwent a mastectomy to remove 
 a lump in her breast. 
1978 Heavy fighting occurred in Lebanon between Syrian 
 peacekeeping troops and Lebanese Christian militiamen. 
1978 Don Sherman, editor of Car & Driver, set a new Class E 
 record in Utah. Driving the Mazda RX7 he reached a speed of 
 183.904 mph. 
1991 In response to U.S. President Bush's reduction of U.S. 
 nuclear arms Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev promised 
 to reciprocate. 
1995 Yasser Arafat of the PLO and Israeli Prime Minister 
 Yitzhak Rabin signed an accord that transferred control 
 of the West Bank. 
1997 The 103rd convention of the Audio Engineering Society 
 (AES) was held in New York City, NY. The official debut of 
 the DVD format was featured. 
2000 The U.S. Federal Drug Administration approved the use 
 of RU-486 in the United States. The pill is used to induce 
 an abortion. 
2004 Nate Olive and Sarah Jones arrived at the U.S.-Mexico 
 border to complete the first known continuous hike of the 
 1,800-mile trail down the U.S. Pacific Coast. They started the trek on June 8. 
2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 2 billion applications downloaded.


2014  smiled.


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How to stop programs instantly 





Today is Saturday, September 27

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a New York bank robber on the lam 4 years caught at frisbee event in Oregon. Details at Boneheads Today, in 1989 Two men went over the 176-foot-high Niagara Falls in a barrel. Jeffrey Petkovich and Peter Debernardi were the first men to ever survive the Horshoe Falls.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There art two cardinal sins from which all others spring: Impatience and Laziness. --- Franz Kafka (1883 - 1924)
A dad picks his boy up at school to take him to a dental appointment. "Well, son," the father asks, "what happened at school today?" "Dad, I got a part in the school play. I play a man who's been married for 20 years." "That's great, son," the proud father says. "Keep up the good work and before you know it, they'll be giving you a speaking part."
A large company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO. The new boss was determined to rid the company of All slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a Guy leaning on the frame of the loading dock door and smoking a cigareette. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant Business. He walked up to the guy leaning against the wall and Asked, "How much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young man looked at him and Replied, "I make $400 a week. Why?" The CEO then handed the guy $1,600 in cash and Screamed, "Here's four weeks' pay, now GET OUT and Don't come back." Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?" From across the room came a voice, "Pizza delivery Guy from Domino's waiting for George to get a tip for him."
Click through for the large picture
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jahson Marryshow, 32, New York bank robber on the lam for 4 years arrested at Oregon Frisbee tournament An Ultimate Frisbee game was no ordinary day in the park as an alleged bank robber on the run was apprehended by authorities, Police in Eugene, Ore., reported they arrested Jahson Marryshow, who was wanted out of Ulster County, N.Y., for a 2010 robbery of a Bank of America. Authorities said he used a gun in the robbery, and also stole a car and burned a barn in his escape. He had been able to avoid detection until police received a tip late last week he had traveled across the country and was now residing in Oregon. Marryshow was in Eugene for at least a year using his real name, working as a landscaper. Officers from multiple departments began searching for the 32-year-old and located him at a park where he was competing in an Ultimate Frisbee tournament, police said. He was arrested without incident and is currently being held at Lane County Jail, police said. The Ulster County Sheriff's Office reported the suspect was the most wanted person on its 10 Most Wanted List. The former Woodstock, N.Y., resident will be extradited back to the Ulster County to face the bank-robbing charges he was indicted for. Tech Support Pits From: Renata Re: Stop program instantly Dear Webby I need a way to stop a program like FireFox or Internet Exploder instantly when I somehow get into dangerous territory, or when it bungs up and I can't stop it normally or with Taskman. I'm sure you got some trick up your sleeve for doing that. Thanks Renata Dear Renata There IS a trick, but you have to use good old-fashioned DOS for it. Use a plain text editor like NoteMaid, NoteTab, WordPad, etc., and write a little text file with just taskkill /f /t /IM iexplore.exe and another one with taskkill /f /t /IM firefox.exe Save them with names like kill-IE.bat and kill-FF.bat If you use Notepad, make sure it does not backstab you by adding .txt after the .bat extension! After you have saved them to an easy to find place like c:\ find them with the file explorer. Right-click them and make a shortcut. Drag the shortcut into an empty corner on the desktop. Now, whenever you click on one of those shortcuts, the program mentioned in it will be axed instantly. The shortcut just calls the DOS bat, and you see how powerful and fast DOS still is, even on a bogged down W7 machine. You can, of course make bats like that for any other program too. Use the Taskmanager to look for what name it actually has under the hood. Quite frequently that name is different from the public name on the screen. On an XP machine you use tskill instead of taskkill. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Measuring Wet and Dry Ingredients Have two different 2 cup sized measuring cups for making recipes. Use one cup exclusively for dry ingredients and one for wet. Always add the thinner or less sticky wet ingredient in the measuring cup first and the thicker or stickier one second. That way the thicker doesnt stick all over the cup, wasting your ingredient and it also comes out for easier clean up! I will often measure both wet ingredients in the same cup at the same time together (that's why the 2 cup size measuring cup) and premix them before adding them into the bowl of dry or other ingredients. These little hints save time and cleaning up after too! By Dee [143] http://www. thriftyfun.com/

Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

From Rob My girlfriend called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said, "I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!" I replied, "Aren't you talking on it!?" There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in - followed by, "You are NOT going to tell anybody about this!"
One of my co-workers got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive-driving course to have points erased from her license. The instructor, a poice officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began. Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?" The student replied, "I didn't realize how much longer it takes to get here within the speed limit."

» Water Wheels

Today in 
1825 George Stephenson operated the first American
 locomotive that hauled a passenger train. 
1894 The Aqueduct Race Track opened in New York City, NY. 
1928 The U.S. announced that it would recognize the Nationalist 
 Chinese Government (Not the Communists). 
1938 The League of Nations branded the Japanese as aggressors 
 in China. 
1939 After 19 days of resistance, Warsaw, Poland, surrendered 
 to the Germans after being invaded by the Nazis and the Soviet 
 Union during World War II. 
1940 The Berlin-Rome-Tokyo Axis was set up. The military and 
 economic pact was for 10 years between Germany, Italy and 
 Japan. 
1962 The U.S. sold Hawk anti-aircraft missiles to Israel. 
1968 The U.K.'s entry into the European Common Market was 
 barred by France. 
1982 Italian and French soldiers entered the Sabra and 
 Chatilla refugee camps in Beirut. The move was made by the 
 members of a multinational force due to hundreds of 
 Palestinians being massacred by Christian militiamen. 
1989 Columbia Pictures Entertainment agreed to buyout Sony 
 Corporation for $3.4 billion. 
1989 Two men went over the 176-foot-high Niagara Falls in a 
 barrel. Jeffrey Petkovich and Peter Debernardi were the first 
 men to ever survive the Horshoe Falls. 
1990 The deposed emir of Kuwait addressed the U.N. General 
 Assembly and denounced the "rape, destruction and terror" 
 that Iraq had inflicted upon his country. 
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush eliminated all land-based 
 tactical nuclear arms and removed all short-range nuclear arms 
 from ships and submarines around the world. Bush then called 
 on the Soviet Union to do the same. 
2004 North Korean Vice Foreign Minister Choe Su Hon announced 
 that North Korea had turned plutonium from 8,000 spent nuclear 
 fuel rods into nuclear weapons. He also said that the weapons 
 were to serve as a deterrent against increasing U.S. nuclear 
 threats and to prevent nuclear war in northeast Asia. The U.S. 
 State Department noted that the U.S. has repeatedly said that 
 the U.S. has no plans to attack North Korea. 
2014  smiled.


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Back Issues 





Today is Friday, September 26
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh woman, who drove around with 5 months old baby in the trunk of the car, to avoide a ticket for not having a car seat. Details at Boneheads Today, in 1985 Shamu was born at Sea World in Orlando, FL. Shamu was the first killer whale to survive being born in captivity.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. --- Phyllis Diller
In a small town in the Northeast, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned that the factory might be practicing discrimination, a local woman calls on the manager and asks him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak? Dumb? Cantankerous? What?" "You might think women are like that, ma'am," the manager replied. "However my reason is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."
An aged farmer and his wife are leaning against the edge of their pigpen when the old woman wistfully recalls that the next week will mark their golden wedding anniversary. "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggests. "We can kill a pig." The farmer scratches his grizzled head. "Gee," he says, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened 50 years ago."
Click through for the large picture Dragonblood Tree, Yemen
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Breona Synclair Watkins, 19, Broward, Floriduh Woman drove with baby in trunk Fearful that she would get ticketed for not having a car seat, a Florida woman, 19, drove around early yesterday with her five-month-old baby inside the trunk of her car, police allege. After spotting a passing 2005 Dodge Stratus with one of its headlights out, Broward Sheriff’s Office deputies sought to pull over the vehicle around 1 AM. The motorist, later identified as Breona Synclair Watkins, continued driving for several blocks before stopping her vehicle. When a deputy asked Watkins why she did not immediately stop the car, “she said she has never been pulled over before,” according to a sheriff’s report. After giving deputies a false name, Watkins subsequently “advised that that she lied about her name because she does not have a license.” Watkins was then arrested and placed in a patrol car. During the stop, a second cop “heard crying from the vehicle and there was no child in the vehicle.” Upon opening the trunk, an investigator found Watkins’s baby inside. The infant was atop a “large pair of bush cutting shears” and was surrounded by other potentially dangerous items, like a tire iron, a rusty hanger, a fuel pump, and plastic bags. While being questioned, Watkins said that the baby had been in the lap of a 14-year-old male passenger (whose mother owns the Dodge). But when cops tried to initiate a traffic stop, she directed the boy to stash the baby in the trunk “through the rear seat opening which folds down.” Cops noted that during the 15 minutes prior to the baby’s discovery, Watkins and the boy did not tell deputies that “there was a 5 month old child alone in the enclosed trunk.” Watkins, investigators added, “did not want to get a ticket for having her child not in a car seat.” For trying to avoid a ticket, Watkins was charged with felony child cruelty, resisting an officer, driving without a license, and four vehicular charges. The Lauderdale Lakes resident is being held in the county jail in lieu of $7000 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Animations in email daniel o'donnell wrote: I am unable to find where I can get a back issue Dear Daniel There are no back issues. I am already writing tomorrow's issue. To read previous issues go to the blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog You can scroll back many years. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Grow celery hearts on your windowsill Grow celery hearts on your windowsill this winter. It's easy and they're pretty and delicious. Next time you buy a stalk of celery, cut the heel off about an inch from the bottom. That is, cut across the stalk so you have a crosswise slice off the end. Then do what we used to do with avocado pits - stick a few toothpicks in the side, fill a glass almost to the top with water, and rest the celery heel with toothpicks on the rim of the glass so that the bottom of the heel is just touching the water. Keep the water at that level, and after a week or so, you'll have little celery hearts sprouting from the middle of the heel. They keep sprouting for weeks. By Jantoo from Kenosha Co, WI http://www. thriftyfun.com/

Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The old family doctor still makes house calls. One afternoon he is called to a house where a housewife is in terrible pain. He goes into the bedroom to examine her. The doctor comes out of the bedroom after only a minute and asks her husband, "Do you have a hammer?" The puzzled husband goes to the garage and returns with a hammer. The doctor thanks him and goes back into the bedroom. A minute later, he comes out and asks, "Do you have a chisel?" The husband gets him one. In the next 10 minutes, the doctor asks for and receives a pair of pliers, a screwdriver and a hacksaw. The last request gets to the man. "What are you doing to my wife?" "Not a thing," replies the doctor. "I can't get my instrument bag open."
Three ministers are having lunch one day and complain about sudden infestations of bats in their churches. "I've had those things in my loft and attic all summer," one says. "I've tried everything -- noise, spray, cats. Nothing seems to scare them away." "Yeah, me too," the second minister says. "I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I've even had the place fumigated and they won't go away." "I had a problem with them, too," the third minister says. "But I baptized all mine and made them members of the church and put collection plates up there. Haven't seen one back since."
http://www.animalplanet.com/tv-shows/to ... gt; src="http://webby.com/humor/Diannes.jpg" align=left>
» Too Cute

Today in 
1777 Philadelphia was occupied by British troops during the 
 American Revolutionary War. 
1908 In "The Saturday Evening Post" an ad for the Edison 
 Phonograph appeared. 
1914 The U.S. Federal Trade Commission was established. 
1918 During World War I, the Meuse-Argonne offensive against 
 the Germans began. It was the final Allied offensive on the 
 western front. 
1950 U.N. troops recaptured the South Korean capital of Seoul 
 from the North Koreans during the Korean Conflict. 
1960 The first televised debate between presidential candidates 
 Richard M. Nixon and John F. Kennedy took place in Chicago, IL. 
1962 "The Beverly Hillbillies" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1964 "Gilligan's Island" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1969 "The Brady Bunch" series premiered on ABC-TV. 
1980 The Cuban government abruptly closed Mariel Harbor to 
 end the freedom flotilla of Cuban refugees that began the 
 previous April. 
1981 The Boeing 767 made its maiden flight in Everett, WA. 
1985 Shamu was born at Sea World in Orlando, FL. Shamu was 
 the first killer whale to survive being born in captivity. 
1991 Four men and four women began their two-year stay inside 
 the "Biosphere II." The project was intended to develop 
 technology for future space colonies. 
1993 The eight people who had stayed in "Biosphere II" emerged 
 from their sealed off environment. 
1995 The warring factions of Bosnia agreed on guidelines for 
 elections and a future government. 
2000 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Born-Alive 
 Infants Protection Act. The act states that an infant would 
 be considered to have been born alive if he or she is 
 completely extracted or expelled from the mother and breathes 
 and has a beating heart and definite movement of the 
 voluntary muscles. 
2000 Slobodan Milosevic conceded that Vojislav Kostunica had 
 won Yugoslavia's presidential election and declared a runoff. 
 The declared runoff prompted mass protests. 
2001 In Kabul, Afghanistan, the abandoned U.S. Embassy was 
 stormed by protesters. It was the largest anti-Amercian 
 protest since the terror attacks on New York City and 
 Washington, DC, on September 11. 
2001 Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat and Israeli Foreign 
 Minister Shimon Peres announced plans to formalize a 
 cease-fire and end a year of fighting in the region. 
2014  smiled.


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Animations in email 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, September 25

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Rhode Island man got 4 DUIs in 30 hours by crashing 4 different vehicles. Details at Boneheads Today, in 2012 China launched its first aircraft carrier into service.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Money can't buy happiness, but neither can poverty. --- Leo Rosten (1908 - ) Under capitalism, man exploits man. Under communism, it's just the opposite. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006)
>From Roland

>From Clyde I enjoyed the joke about Natchitoches! I grew up in Natchitoches and left in 1942 when I enlisted in the U. S. Army Air Corps at age 18. Natchitoches is pronounced Nak-a-tish! You should try some Natcitoches Meat Pies~~really delicious! You can get the recipe on Google or Yahoo. Natchitoches is the oldest settlement in the Louisiana Purchase ~~1714.
A well-off young man is moving from apartment to another a few streets away. Observing with dismay the carefree way in which the moving crew yanks his cherished antiques about, he decides he'll carry a tall grandfather's clock, which he prizes highly. Taking the clock in his arms he starts for the new house. But the clock is as tall as its owner and heavy, so he has to put it down every few feet to rest his arms and mop his brow. Then he clutches the clock again and staggers on. He's nearly at the new house when a drunk, who's been watching the fellow struggle, calls out to him. "Mischter," he says thickly, "can I ash you a quest'n?" "What is it?" the exhausted young man says. "Why the heck don'shou carry a watsch?"
A father attends a PTA meeting where the principal explains that the school's sex education classes are to begin soon and urges the parents to have some basic discussions with their kids at home first. The father had given his older boy a "birds and bees" talk two years before and wants to spare himself the ordeal again. When he gets home, he calls the boy into the study and asks him to give his younger brother the instruction he had been given two years before. The boy agrees and rushes off to talk with his younger brother. "Hey, bro," he says, "want to know something?" "What?" the younger lad asks. "You know how a man and a woman get together when they want to have kids?" "Yeah?" "Well, Dad wants me to tell you that birds and bees and flowers do the same thing."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click through for the large picture This 144 years old Wisteria Tree located in Japan, its size is about half an acre and it is the biggest of its kind.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to John Lourenco, 53, Cumberland, RI FOUR DUI crashes in 30 hours John Lourenco, 53, crashed four vehicles while driving drunk -- three into other vehicles and one into a tree, police said. After leaving the hospital following one of the crashes, Lourenco even got behind the wheel of a dump truck and crashed it too. The first three crashes occurred in Cumberland, while the fourth happened in Providence. Lourenco faces charges of reckless driving, refusing a breathalyzer, driving under the influence and driving without evidence of insurance. Some reports say he had a DUI last year and probably no drivers license. He was released from custody on $25,000 bail. Many news services reported about Loureco's crashes and DUIs, but NO news service has a mug shot of Lourenco. He must have some incredibly good connections. Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Animations in email Dear Webby, If you copy an animated picture and paste it to email, why won't it go to the animated feature? daniel Dear Daniel That depends on the email program you use. Some work, some don't. Usually web based email programs like Thunderbird or Gmail display animations, text based programs like Outlook Express usually don't, Older programs like Eudora show the animation when receiving, but not while composing a mail. Animations always work when shown on a web page, like for example this one: BRB http://webby.com/humor/brb.gif You can always just put the URL into your email or chat. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use fewer chocolate chips I pay a small fortune for my allergen free chocolate chips. I also snack on them. One day when I needed to bake, I realized I only had about 1/4 of a bag left. I took a leap and used that in the cookies. They were fantastic and no one noticed the "scant" amount of chips. Soon I was taking my newly-purchased bags and dividing them up into 1/3 cup portions, putting them into plastic sandwich-sized bags and then storing them in my chocolate drawer. Yes, chocoholic that I am, I actually have a chocolate drawer. I get 4 (or more) portions per bag, as each bag has about 1 1/3 cups of chips in them, whether my allergen free ones OR the usual dairy-loaded ones we all grew up on. My only fear about sharing this frugal tip has been that once the manufacturers get wind of this they will begin selling them in 1/3 cup bags for the same outrageous price I have to pay now, about $5.59 per bag! So now I have enough chips for anything I must bake and I can more easily swallow (pun intended) and justify the stiff price I pay for a bag. Give it a try. Make a batch of your usual, using only 1/3 cup of your chips (on the QT) and see if anyone complains or compliments. But, please, keep this tip hush-hush! Use Less Chocolate Chips in Recipes Use Less Chocolate Chips in Recipes Use Less Chocolate Chips in Recipes Source: My kitchen By J'Marinde [3] http://www. thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Lillemor An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood in case the need arose. As the gentleman had a very rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so the call went out. Finally, a Scotsman was located who had the same blood type. The Scot willingly donated his blood for the Arab. The Arab sent the Scotsman, as appreciation for giving his blood, a new BMW, diamonds & $100,000, happy that his surgery could now go ahead. A couple of months later, once again, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Scotsman who was more than happy to donate his blood again. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street chocolates. The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not repeat his previous kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be generous again, that you would give me a BMW, diamonds & money, but you only gave me a thank-you card and a box of Quality Street .." To this the Arab replied: "Aye, laddie, but I now have Scottish blood in me veins."
A little boy comes home from the playground with a bloody nose, a black eye and torn clothing. It is obvious he was in a bad fight and he lost. While his father is patching him up, he asks his son what happened. "Well, Dad," says the boy, "I challenged a kid at school to a duel, and I gave him his choice of weapons." "Uh-huh," says the father, "that seems fair." "I know, but I never thought he'd choose his big sister!"

» Harvesting your garden

Today in 
1493 Christopher Columbus left Spain with 17 ships on his 
 second voyage to the Western Hemisphere. 
1513 The Pacific Ocean was discovered by Spanish explorer 
 Vasco Nunez de Balboa when he crossed the Isthmus of Panama. 
 He named the body of water the South Sea.
1775 Ethan Allen was captured by the British during the 
 American Revolutionary War. He was leading the attack on 
 Montreal. 
1789 The first U.S. Congress adopted 12 amendments to the 
 Constitution. Ten of the amendments became the Bill of Rights. 
1847 During the Mexican-American War, U.S. forces led by 
 General Zachary Taylor captured Monterrey Mexico. 
1882 The first major league double header was played. It was 
 between the Worcester and Providence teams. 
1890 The Sequoia National Park was established as a U.S. 
 National Park in Central California. 
1890 Mormon President Wilford Woodruff issued a Manifesto 
 in which the practice of polygamy was renounced. 
1919 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson collapsed after a speech 
 in Pueblo, CO. The speaking tour was in support of the 
 Treaty of Versailles. 
1956 A transatlantic telephone-cable system began operation 
 between Newfoundland and Scotland. 
1957 300 U.S. Army troops stood guard as nine black students 
 were escorted to class at Central High School in 
 Little Rock, AR. The children had been forced to withdraw 
 2 days earlier because of unruly white mobs. 
1973 The three crewmen of Skylab II landed in the Pacific 
 Ocean after being on the U.S. space laboratory for 59 days. 
1978 Melissa Ludtke, a writer for "Sports Illustrated", filed 
 a suit in U.S. District Court. The result was that Major 
 League Baseball could not bar female writers from the 
 locker room after the game. 
1983 A Soviet military officer, Stanislav Petrov, averted a 
 potential worldwide nuclear war. He declared a false alarm 
 after a U.S. attack was detected by a Soviet early warning 
 system. It was later discovered the alarms had been set off 
 when the satellite warning system mistakenly interpreted 
 sunlight reflections off clouds as the presence of enemy 
 missiles. 
1987 The booty collected from the Wydah, which sunk off 
 Cape Cod in 1717, was auctioned off. The worth was around 
 $400 million. 
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to impose an air embargo 
 against Iraq. Cuba was the only dissenting vote. 
1991 The U.N. Security Council unanimously ordered a worldwide 
 arms embargo against Yugoslavia and all of its warring factions. 
1992 In Orlando, FL, a judge ruled in favor of 12-year-old 
 Gregory Kingsley. He had sought a divorce from his 
 biological parents. 
1992 The Mars Observer blasted off on a mission that cost 
 $980 million. The probe has not been heard from since it 
 reached Mars in August of 1993. 
1995 Ross Perot announced that he would form the 
 Independence Party. 
2001 Michael Jordan announced that he would return to the 
 NBA as a player for the Washington Wizards. Jordan became 
 the president of basketball operations for the team on 
 January 19, 2000. 
2002 U.S. forces landed in Ivory Coast to aid in the rescue 
 of foreigners trapped in a school by fighting between 
 government troops and rebel troops. Rebels had attempted 
 to take over the government on September 19. 
2012 China launched its first aircraft carrier into service.
2014  smiled.


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How to tell if your Windows is 32 bit or 64 bit 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, September 24

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Georgia woman hides in oven, cops find her anyway. Details at Boneheads Today, in 1960 The first nuclear powered aircraft carrier was launched. The USS Enterprise set out from Newport News, VA.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. --- W. C. Fields (1880 - 1946)
>From Lillemor Car, truck, bicycle accident. Car and truck and bicyclist collision. Bicylist survives and goes to help driver of overturned truck.
A salesman of many years is tired of his job and gives it up to become a policeman. One day, while he's walking his beat, he meets an old friend who asks him how he likes his new work. "Well," says the salesman-turned-cop, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad. But what I like best is that the customer is always wrong
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click through for the large picture Lake Vänern Sweden
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Desma KaShay Brown,25, Thomasville, Georgia Fugitive Desma KaShay Brown Hides In Oven Was she cooking up another misguided caper? A Georgia woman wanted on credit card fraud charges was found sweating it out in an oven on Thursday, according to police. Desma KaShay Brown, 25, is accused of using a debit card belonging to her 61-year-old housemate to order $428 worth of clothing earlier this month. The clothes were shipped to Brown's relative's home. When the man's bank statement arrived, he called police. The man said Brown hadn't been home, and initially Thomasville Police officers were unable to locate her. But on Wednesday, cops got a tip that Brown might be hiding out at a nearby house. They found the suspect, who is about 5 feet 4 inches tall, in a very unusual place. “We found her curled up in the oven,” Thomasville Police detective Joey Blackburn told the Times-Enterprise. Police said that although Brown said she'd only been hiding inside the oven for about five minutes, she was already sweating profusely. She is charged with four counts of financial transaction card fraud, and remains behind bars at the Thomas County Jail on an outstanding probation violation warrant. Tech Support Pits From: Bob Re: Windows 32 or 64 bit? Hi Webby, How do I find out whether I have 32 bit or 64 bit. I have a Sony VGC-RB30 Desk Top with XP SP 3 VAIO Pentium (R) 4 CPU 3.00 GH 2. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. Daily Voter, Bob Dear Bob Hold down the Windows key, and hit the PAUSE key. The Windows key is the key with the Windows flag on it. Tha Pause key is in the upper right corner labelled Pause/Break. After a short time a window will pop up that has many of your machine specifics. If you need a more complete inventory, download and install the Belarc from my tools page at http://webby.com/tools The Belarc is VERY complete, and a good idea to run and print before lending or renting a machine out, or before sending it away for repair. It is also good for insurance purposes. Other than that, the Belarc is probably way too detailed for what you need. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use White Rain Shampoo As Body Wash I pay a small fortune for my allergen free chocolate chips. I also snack on them. One day when I needed to bake, I realized I only had about 1/4 of a bag left. I took a leap and used that in the cookies. They were fantastic and no one noticed the "scant" amount of chips. Soon I was taking my newly-purchased bags and dividing them up into 1/3 cup portions, putting them into plastic sandwich-sized bags and then storing them in my chocolate drawer. Yes, chocoholic that I am, I actually have a chocolate drawer. I get 4 (or more) portions per bag, as each bag has about 1 1/3 cups of chips in them, whether my allergen free ones OR the usual dairy-loaded ones we all grew up on. My only fear about sharing this frugal tip has been that once the manufacturers get wind of this they will begin selling them in 1/3 cup bags for the same outrageous price I have to pay now, about $5.59 per bag! So now I have enough chips for anything I must bake and I can more easily swallow (pun intended) and justify the stiff price I pay for a bag. Give it a try. Make a batch of your usual, using only 1/3 cup of your chips (on the QT) and see if anyone complains or compliments. But, please, keep this tip hush-hush! Use Less Chocolate Chips in Recipes Use Less Chocolate Chips in Recipes Use Less Chocolate Chips in Recipes Source: My kitchen By J'Marinde [3] http://www. thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Two sweet young ladies are driving through Louisiana. When they reach the town of Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the name. They argue back and forth until they stop for lunch. As they stand at the counter, one asks the manager, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please tell us where we are? We're having trouble deciding how to pronounce it." The Asian looking manager leans over the counter and says, "Goodness Gwacious Mee, you ah at Belga Kink." (Burger King)
There are doctors and there are doctors. That's a lesson a young woman at a barbecue learns when she introduces herself to another guest. She had heard him addressed as 'doctor,' so she says, "Doctor, may I ask a question?" "Certainly," he says. "Well, I have been having a funny pain right here, above the heart." The guest interrupts her, "I'm terribly sorry, but the truth is, I'm a doctor of philosophy." "Oh," says the young woman, "I'm sorry." Embarrassed, she turns away, but curiosity gets the better of her. "Just one more question, Doctor," she says. "What kind of disease is philosophy?"

» Harvesting your garden

Today in 
1869 Thousands of businessmen were financially ruined after 
 a panic on Wall Street. The panic was caused by an attempt 
 to corner the gold market by Jay Gould and James Fisk. 
1915 "The Lamb," Douglas Fairbanks first film, was shown 
 at the Knickerbocker Theater in New York City, NY. 
1929 The first all-instrument flight took place in New York 
 when Lt. James H. Doolittle guided a Consolidated NY2 
 Biplane over Mitchell Field. 
1957 U.S. President Eisenhower sent federal troops to Little 
 Rock, AR, to enforce school integration. 
1960 The first nuclear powered aircraft carrier was launched. 
 The USS Enterprise set out from Newport News, VA. 
1963 The U.S. Senate ratified a treaty that limited nuclear 
 testing. The treaty was between the U.S., Britain, and the 
 Soviet Union. 
1995 Three decades of Israeli occupation of West Bank cities 
 ended with the signing of a pact by Israel and the PLO. 
1996 The United States, represented by President Clinton, 
 and the world's other major nuclear powers signed a 
 Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty to end all testing and 
 development of nuclear weapons. 
1998 The U.S. Federal Reserve released into circulation 
 $2 billion in new harder-to-counterfeit $20 bills. 
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush froze the assets of 
 27 suspected terrorists and terrorist groups. 
2014  smiled.


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Get rid of MyWebSearch 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, September 23

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Wisconsin father, who used dog shock collar on girl Details at Boneheads Today, in 1779 John Paul Jones, commander of the American warship Bon Homme, was quoted as saying "I have not yet begun to fight!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A poem is never finished, only abandoned. --- Paul Valery (1871 - 1945) The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
Miss Prussy was going over mischievous Melvin Messpot's records with his anxious parents. On one page was the statement, "Melvin used fowl language today." Mr. Messpot, hoping to put the teacher in a bad light, snickered, "Ha! You spelled foul wrong." Miss Prussy corrected, "No, I meant F-O-W-L. Your child called me a big pile of chicken shit."
Two Mexicans are riding along Pacific Coast Highway on a motorcycle. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the Mexicans ask him for a lift. He tells them he has no room in as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The Mexicans put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back with their bike will he take them and he agrees. They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the trailer, so the driver shuts the doors and gets on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough the Highway Patrol pulls him over for speeding. The good officer asks the driver what he is carrying to which he replies jokingly-- "Mexican eggs". The policeman obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back door and quickly shuts it and locks it. He gets on his radio and calls for immediate backup from as many officers as possible. The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers. "I've got a Tractor-trailer here with 20,000 Mexican eggs in it - 2 have hatched and they have already managed to steal a motorcycle.
Click through for the large picture Hot Rod Nellie!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Zachary Kacmar, 28, Wisconsin Father Used Dog Shock Collar On Girl A Wisconsin man faces child abuse charges after police said he used a shock collar meant for dogs on his 7-year-old daughter. Zachary Kacmar, 28, was arrested after his wife called police on Sept. 10 following an Aug. 30 incident in which the couple's daughter complained that she'd been shocked with the collar. WISN reports: The child told investigators that her father placed their dog's shock collar around her neck and said "Let's see if this fits." She said that Kacmar then pushed a button on a remote control, shocking her in the neck. The child took the collar off and ran upstairs to tell her mother. The shock left a mark on the girl's neck, the Sheboygan Press reports. According to WITI, the woman told police she took photos of the girl's injuries, and that her husband tried to delete them. She said she wasn't going to alert authorities at first, but changed her mind after talking with her pastor. At first, Kacmar told police that his daughter wanted to feel how it felt to be shocked, and had put the collar on herself, and pressed the button. He later admitted to shocking the girl but said he was surprised and upset it actually shocked her. He said he didn't consider the consequences of his actions. Kacmar faces up to six years in prison if he is convicted. Tech Support Pits From: Francyne Re: How to get rid of MyWebSearch Dear Webby, I recently moved and have a startup page that I did not want. Can't find it to uninstall it. It's MyWebSearchHome page. Can you tell me how to get rid of it? Still enjoy your newsletter, although I don't get to see it often. F. Dear Francyne I have now added your new address to the Humor Letter list. That "MyWebSearch" is evil shit! It CAN be removed, but as with most malware, removal is not that easy. Here is a 14 step illustrated tutorial: http://www.wikihow.com/Remove-Mywebsearch Don't get sidetracked by any of the ads interspersed in the tutorial! That is probably how you got infected in the first place. Another tutorial for removing that evil shit is here: http://malwaretips.com/blogs/remove-mywebsearch/ Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use White Rain Shampoo As Body Wash If you have hard water (or not), shower with White Rain Shampoo. It's the cheapest and best lathering shampoo I know of. They have so many great fragrances to choose from. Feel really great after this, wash hair and body, at the same time. Saves money and time! By Dorothy from New Creek, WV http://www. thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A woman loses both ears in an accident. A plastic surgeon she consults tells her that ear transplants are still in the testing stage, but he will do what he can. The woman undergoes the operation, and after a time she returns to the surgeon's office to have the bandages removed and the stitches taken out. After examining her, the doctor tells her everything seems to have gone well, and she seems pleased with his work. The next day, however, she calls the plastic surgeon in a rage. "You know what you did?" she screams. "You gave me a man's ears." "Well," says the surgeon, "an ear is an ear. What's wrong? Can't you hear?" "I hear everything," she says. "The problem is I don't understand anything I'm told."
Since this is their first party and the wife hasn't done much cooking, the husband suggests they order out for Chinese food and she could bake a cake for dessert. She agrees, but on Friday afternoon, the wife calls her husband in tears. "The only recipe I can find is for a cake that will feed four," she says. "Why don't you just double the recipe?" her husband asks. Just before quitting time the husband gets another call from her, and this time she is frantic. "I just can't do it," she says. "It's impossible." "Now, now, what's the matter?" "Well, I doubled everything, just like you said," she tells him, "and it's ready to go in the oven." "Then what's the problem?" he asks. The wife sobs. "The book says that the cake must be baked at 350 degrees. I've checked the oven and it doesn't go up to 700 degrees!"

» Harvesting your garden

Today in 
1642 The first commencement at Harvard College, in Cambridge, 
 MA, was held. 
1779 John Paul Jones, commander of the American warship 
 Bon Homme, was quoted as saying "I have not yet begun 
 to fight!"
1780 John Andre, a British spy, was captured with papers 
 revealing that Benedict Arnold was going to surrender 
 West Point, NY, to the British. 
1806 The Corps of Discovery, the Lewis and Clark expedition, 
 reached St. Louis, MO, and ended the trip to the 
 Pacific Northwest. 
1846 Astronomer Johann Gottfried Galle discovered the planet Neptune. 
1912 "Keystone Comedy" by Mack Sennett was released. 
1930 Flashbulbs were patented by Johannes Ostermeier. 
1951 The first transcontinental telecast was received on the 
 west coast. The show "Crusade for Freedom" was broadcast by 
 CBS-TV from New York. 
1952 The first Pay Television sporting event took place. The 
 Marciano-Walcott fight was seen in 49 theaters in 31 cities. 
1957 Nine black students withdrew from Little Rock Central 
 High School in Arkansas due to the white mob outside. 
1962 "The Jetsons" premiered on ABC-TV. It was the first 
 program on the network to be carried in color. 
1973 Overthrown Argentine president Juan Peron was returned 
 to power. He had been overthrown in 1955. His wife, Eva 
 Duarte, was the subject of the musical "Evita." 
1986 Japanese newspapers quoted Prime Minister Yasuhiro 
 Nakasone as saying that minorities lowered the "intelligence 
 level" of America. 
1990 Iraq publicly threatened to destroy Middle East oil 
 fields and to attack Israel if any nation tried to force 
 it from Kuwait. 
1991 U.N. weapons inspectors find documents detailing Iraq's 
 secret nuclear weapons program. The find in Baghdad triggered 
 a standoff with authorities in Iraq. 
1993 The Israeli parliament ratified the Israel-PLO accord. 
1993 Blacks were allowed a role in the South African government 
 after a parliamentary vote. 
1999 A 17-month-old girl fell 230 feet from the Capilano 
 Suspension Bridge in North Vancouver, British Columbia. The 
 girl had bruises but no broken limbs from the fall onto 
 a rocky ledge. 
2014  smiled.


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XP-SP4 is available now 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, September 22

Thanks you, Larry!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a man in Florida, who tried using a gun to get a hamburger. Details at Boneheads Today, in 1792 The French National Convention voted to abolish the monarchy.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for. --- Marie Ebner von Eschenbach
A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store with him. In addition to the healthful items on the carefully prepared shopping list, they returned with a box of sugar-laden cookies. The man noticed the glare of his wife and said, "This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories than usual." "Why is that?" the mother asked. "We ate a third of the cookies on the way home," he replied.
When I ran into my neighbor Steve at the department store we chatted a bit as we walked. He considers himself fairly strong, but was dismayed that that he couldn't even lift the 35 pound barbell in the Sporting Goods area. He tried but just simply couldn't lift it. So he tried the 15 pound bar. He still couldn't budge it and looked quite depressed about his own physical strength. I have never done any weight lifting, but after spending many years in the bush and in mines, those silly toys looked like no problem at all. So I grabbed a 50 pounder and yanked it up with a good tug, - and knocked the display over. OOOPS! That's when we realized they had been epoxied onto the shelves.
Click through for the large picture Guess which one of these don't have a radar detector!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dechazo Harris, 27, West Palm beach, Floriduh Customer Pointed Gun At Drive-Thru Worker And Demanded A Hamburger “Give me a hamburger or I’ll shoot you.” That is what Dechazo Harris, gun in hand, allegedly said to a Florida drive-thru worker with whom he quarreled over an order. According to police, Harris, 27, ordered a midnight meal via a drive-thru speaker at a Checkers in West Palm Beach. When he drove to the pick-up window, he sought to submit a second order. However, Checkers manager Rontavious Tarver, 20, explained to Harris, that if he wanted to place another order, he would have to drive around to the speaker and place it there. In response to that direction, Harris, cops charge, pulled out a gun and pointed it at the Checkers employee. As he began to exit his vehicle, Harris threatened the worker, “Give me a hamburger or I’ll shoot you.” He added, “Bro, you don’t know who I am.” Two male passengers in Harris’s car convinced him not to fire his weapon. “Shea, stop it, get in the car,” they said, according to the police report. The pistolero subsequently returned to the Oldsmobile and fled-- but not before his license plate was captured. Though Tarver immediately identified Harris from a photo lineup, the Palm Springs resident was not arrested until Tuesday morning. He was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, a felony. Harris is locked up in the county jail in lieu of $5000 bond. Apparently they want him out quickly and see what else he does. Tech Support Pits From: Darla Re: XP security patches Dear Webby, In regards to your Tech Support for today, 9/20, have you posted something earlier about where to get the Security Updates for XP ? If you did, guess I must have missed that info. Thanks for your time, Darla Dear Darla That must have been the day where I badly messed up. Sorry. Here is what I had intended to write: Thanks to Walter the Stonecarver for this important information about XP security updates for corporate users: XP-SP4 Download Long URL: http://www.inquisitr.com/1457310/window ... w54bg5z.99 And here is how to get security updates for Windows XP until April 2019 XP until 2019 http://www.ghacks.net/2014/05/24/get-se ... pril-2019/ It links to two sites in Germany with instructions, also instructions on doing this with 64 bit xp Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Vinegar for cleaning Vinegar is a cheap and easy cleaning solution. Vinegar is naturally antibacterial. In my kitchen, I use one part vinegar to one part water to clean the counters and sink, and to disinfect. I use the same solution to clean my bathroom, except I use full strength vinegar on the toilet seat and bowl. I let it stand for a few minutes before I scrub the bowl and flush. On my floors, I use the same 1-1 solution, with a few drops of dish soap; I use this to clean both my laminate kitchen floor, my wooden living room floor, and my tile bathroom floor. If you want a "clean" smell, add a few drops of lemon juice or a fragrance extract. Not only is it cheap, but it is safe for kids and pets. I began using this when I had my son, knowing that he would soon be crawling all over the floor. As a warning, do not mix with bleach or ammonia; this can create dangerous fumes. Just leave a window cracked to help filter out the vinegar smell. Source: my depression-era grandmother By MamaSarah from Lansing, MI By Mistie http://www. thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?" The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old." "That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?" The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."
A pair of congressmen met for lunch to hash out their political differences. Ten minutes into the meal, one angrily pounded the table. "You're lying!" he shouted. "Of course I'm lying," the other said, "but hear me out."

» Harvesting your garden

Today in 
1792 The French Republic was proclaimed. 
1862 U.S. President Lincoln issued the preliminary Emancipation 
 Proclamation. It stated that all slaves held within rebel 
 states would be free as of January 1, 1863. 
1903 Italo Marchiony was granted a patent for the ice cream cone. 
1914 Three British cruisers were sunk by one German submarine in 
 the North Sea. 1,400 British sailors were killed. This event 
 alerted the British to the effectiveness of the submarine. 
1927 In Chicago, IL, Gene Tunney successfully defended his 
 heavyweight boxing title against Jack Dempsey in the famous 
 "long-count" fight. 
1949 The Soviet Union exploded its first atomic bomb successfully. 
1955 Commercial television began in Great Britain. The rules 
 said that only six minutes of ads were allowed each hour and 
 there was no Sunday morning TV permitted. 
1966 The U.S. lunar probe Surveyor 2 crashed into the moon. 
1980 A border conflict between Iran and Iraq developed into a 
 full-scale war. 
1988 Canada's government apologized for the internment of 
 Japanese-Canadian's during World War II. They also promised 
 compensation. 
1990 Saudi Arabia expelled most of the Yememin and Jordanian 
 envoys in Riyadh. The Saudi accusations were unspecific. 
1994 The U.S. upgraded its military control in Haiti. 
1998 The U.S. and Russia signed two agreements. One was to 
 privatize Russia's nuclear program and the other was to stop 
 plutonium stockpiles and nuclear scientists from leaving the 
 country. 
1998 U.S. President Clinton addressed the United Nations and 
 told world leaders to "end all nuclear tests for all time". 
 He then sent the long-delayed global test-ban treaty to the U.S. Senate. 
2014  smiled.


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XP-SP4 is available now 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, September 22

Thanks you, Larry!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Mouthy drunk driver in Tennessee Details at Boneheads Today, in 1792 The French National Convention voted to abolish the monarchy.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for. --- Marie Ebner von Eschenbach
A husband took his young daughter to the grocery store with him. In addition to the healthful items on the carefully prepared shopping list, they returned with a box of sugar-laden cookies. The man noticed the glare of his wife and said, "This box of cookies has one-third fewer calories than usual." "Why is that?" the mother asked. "We ate a third of the cookies on the way home," he replied.
When I ran into my neighbor Steve at the department store we chatted a bit as we walked. He considers himself fairly strong, but was dismayed that that he couldn't even lift the 35 pound barbell in the Sporting Goods area. He tried but just simply couldn't lift it. So he tried the 15 pound bar. He still couldn't budge it and looked quite depressed about his own physical strength. I have never done any weight lifting, but after spending many years in the bush and in mines, those silly toys looked like no problem at all. So I grabbed a 50 pounder and yanked it up with a good tug, - and knocked the display over. OOOPS! That's when we realized they had been epoxied onto the shelves.
Click through for the large picture Guess which one of these don't have a radar detector!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dechazo Harris, 27, West Palm beach, Floriduh Customer Pointed Gun At Drive-Thru Worker And Demanded A Hamburger “Give me a hamburger or I’ll shoot you.” That is what Dechazo Harris, gun in hand, allegedly said to a Florida drive-thru worker with whom he quarreled over an order. According to police, Harris, 27, ordered a midnight meal via a drive-thru speaker at a Checkers in West Palm Beach. When he drove to the pick-up window, he sought to submit a second order. However, Checkers manager Rontavious Tarver, 20, explained to Harris, that if he wanted to place another order, he would have to drive around to the speaker and place it there. In response to that direction, Harris, cops charge, pulled out a gun and pointed it at the Checkers employee. As he began to exit his vehicle, Harris threatened the worker, “Give me a hamburger or I’ll shoot you.” He added, “Bro, you don’t know who I am.” Two male passengers in Harris’s car convinced him not to fire his weapon. “Shea, stop it, get in the car,” they said, according to the police report. The pistolero subsequently returned to the Oldsmobile and fled-- but not before his license plate was captured. Though Tarver immediately identified Harris from a photo lineup, the Palm Springs resident was not arrested until Tuesday morning. He was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, a felony. Harris is locked up in the county jail in lieu of $5000 bond. Apparently they want him out quickly and see what else he does. Tech Support Pits From: Darla Re: XP security patches Dear Webby, In regards to your Tech Support for today, 9/20, have you posted something earlier about where to get the Security Updates for XP ? If you did, guess I must have missed that info. Thanks for your time, Darla Dear Darla That must have been the day where I badly messed up. Sorry. Here is what I had intended to write: Thanks to Walter the Stonecarver for this important information about XP security updates for corporate users: XP-SP4 Download Long URL: http://www.inquisitr.com/1457310/window ... w54bg5z.99 And here is how to get security updates for Windows XP until April 2019 XP until 2019 http://www.ghacks.net/2014/05/24/get-se ... pril-2019/ It links to two sites in Germany with instructions, also instructions on doing this with 64 bit xp Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Vinegar for cleaning Vinegar is a cheap and easy cleaning solution. Vinegar is naturally antibacterial. In my kitchen, I use one part vinegar to one part water to clean the counters and sink, and to disinfect. I use the same solution to clean my bathroom, except I use full strength vinegar on the toilet seat and bowl. I let it stand for a few minutes before I scrub the bowl and flush. On my floors, I use the same 1-1 solution, with a few drops of dish soap; I use this to clean both my laminate kitchen floor, my wooden living room floor, and my tile bathroom floor. If you want a "clean" smell, add a few drops of lemon juice or a fragrance extract. Not only is it cheap, but it is safe for kids and pets. I began using this when I had my son, knowing that he would soon be crawling all over the floor. As a warning, do not mix with bleach or ammonia; this can create dangerous fumes. Just leave a window cracked to help filter out the vinegar smell. Source: my depression-era grandmother By MamaSarah from Lansing, MI By Mistie http://www. thriftyfun.com/
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?" The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old." "That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?" The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."
A pair of congressmen met for lunch to hash out their political differences. Ten minutes into the meal, one angrily pounded the table. "You're lying!" he shouted. "Of course I'm lying," the other said, "but hear me out."

» Harvesting your garden

Today in 
1792 The French Republic was proclaimed. 
1862 U.S. President Lincoln issued the preliminary Emancipation 
 Proclamation. It stated that all slaves held within rebel 
 states would be free as of January 1, 1863. 
1903 Italo Marchiony was granted a patent for the ice cream cone. 
1914 Three British cruisers were sunk by one German submarine in 
 the North Sea. 1,400 British sailors were killed. This event 
 alerted the British to the effectiveness of the submarine. 
1927 In Chicago, IL, Gene Tunney successfully defended his 
 heavyweight boxing title against Jack Dempsey in the famous 
 "long-count" fight. 
1949 The Soviet Union exploded its first atomic bomb successfully. 
1955 Commercial television began in Great Britain. The rules 
 said that only six minutes of ads were allowed each hour and 
 there was no Sunday morning TV permitted. 
1966 The U.S. lunar probe Surveyor 2 crashed into the moon. 
1980 A border conflict between Iran and Iraq developed into a 
 full-scale war. 
1988 Canada's government apologized for the internment of 
 Japanese-Canadian's during World War II. They also promised 
 compensation. 
1990 Saudi Arabia expelled most of the Yememin and Jordanian 
 envoys in Riyadh. The Saudi accusations were unspecific. 
1994 The U.S. upgraded its military control in Haiti. 
1998 The U.S. and Russia signed two agreements. One was to 
 privatize Russia's nuclear program and the other was to stop 
 plutonium stockpiles and nuclear scientists from leaving the 
 country. 
1998 U.S. President Clinton addressed the United Nations and 
 told world leaders to "end all nuclear tests for all time". 
 He then sent the long-delayed global test-ban treaty to the U.S. Senate. 
2014  smiled.


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Can you do Favorites for items on a CD ? 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, September 21

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Mouthy drunk driver in Tennessee Details at Boneheads Today, in 1792 The French National Convention voted to abolish the monarchy.
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There are only two ways of telling the complete truth --anonymously and posthumously. --- Thomas Sowell (1930 - ) Biography lends to death a new terror. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
There was a very wealthy 70 year-old man who had just married a beautiful 25-year-old young lady. One of his long time friends said to him, "How did you get that gorgeous woman to marry a 70 year-old guy like you?" The man leaned over and whispered to his friend, "It was easy. I simply told her that I was 90 and had heart problems, and she instantly fell in love with me." ----------------- I tried that, but not being very wealthy, only 65, and having fixed and out-hiked my heart problems, that did not work.
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. Entertain. And stay home at night!" An old granny overheard and spoke up, "Girl, if that's all you want, get a TV!"
Dad's organic potato patch (former compost, weeds and dirt) Click through for the large picture And the harvest from it Click through for the large picture
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Chantae Gilman, 26, Seattle, WA Mouthy drunk driver in Tennessee While seated in a police cruiser following his arrest for drunk driving, a Tennessee man warned a cop, “I am going to join ISIS and when I do, you will be the first person I kill.” Marco Antonio Dominguez, 24, was collared early today by a Metropolitan Nashville Police Department officer who noticed that his “vehicle was smoking and his windshield was smashed in.” Dominguez, who was standing next to the car at a gas station, had “vomit all over the front of his pants” and appeared intoxicated, according to a criminal complaint. After being busted for DUI, a handcuffed Dominguez mentioned his purported desire to join the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria terrorist organization. He later threatened, “Why don’t you take these handcuffs off and [I’ll] show you what I am made of.” Pictured in the above mug shot, Dominguez was charged with drunk driving, assault, driving without a license, and leaving the scene of an accident. Cops believe that his car was damaged when he struck a sign on a nearby interstate. Dominguez, who is locked up on $20,000 bond, is scheduled for a court hearing tomorrow. Tech Support Pits From: Dan Re: CD to Favorite Dear Webby, another question. is it possible to add a song that i am playing from a cd on my computer to " favorites " ? thanks again, dan Dear Dan Theoretically Yes, but in reality, No. Copy it to your hard drive, and make a desktop shortcut to it. That works fine. Once you have a bunch of those shortcuts littering your desktop, make a new folder on the desktop and change the lable from NEW FOLDER to MUSIC, and drag all those shortcuts into that folder. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Your Silver It is always a good idea to wipe your silver off as soon as you are finished with it. For instance, my silver omega chain gets wiped after every use. The oils on your fingers and skin cause silver to tarnish. Here is a tip my mom gave me for removing that tarnish, if you forgot or just got too busy. Ideas for things that can be cleaned this way are: silverware, plates, things that are put away for holidays, literally anything silver or sterling, including jewelry. Place a sheet of aluminum foil in a bowl, spreading and molding it to the bowl. Sprinkle the foil with salt and baking soda, then fill with warm water. Take any tarnished silver or "sterling" items and soak them in the water. As the item soaks the tarnish will migrate to the foil. It is almost like magic. Take out of the water, rinse, and buff with soft cloth. To think how much time and money everyone will save is exciting, but the first time you see this happen is priceless. Enjoy your clean silver. Source: My mom, Luana McD. By Mistie http://www. thriftyfun.com/ Oil is not CAUSING tarnish, actually it prevents or slows the oxidation. The black or dark surface is just silver oxide. It can be converted back into silver by stealing the oxygen atoms from it. Aluminum wants to oxidize much more urgently than the silver wants to keep the oxygen, so as long as there is baking soda and a token bit of salt around, the oxygen will move to the foil. They used to make silver oxide batteries that took advantage of that fact. Before reversing the tarnish on silver clean it thoroughly to ensure there are NO oily or greasy spots on it. Those will not reverse the tarnish. Even fingerprints can preserve the tarnish. Have FUN! DearWebby
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
Doug and Bill were at the racetrack. Doug says, "You know, if you win $600 on a race, the track tells the government." Bill says, "Well it could be worse." Doug replies, "What could be worse than telling the government you won $600." Bill sighs, "Telling your wife."

» Octoberfest for Millions

Today in 
1792 The French National Convention voted to abolish the 
 monarchy. 
1893 Frank Duryea took what is believed to be the first 
 gasoline-powered automobile for a test drive. The 
 "horseless carriage" was designed by Frank and Charles Duryea. 
1897 The New York Sun ran the "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa 
 Claus" editorial. It was in response to a letter from 8-year
 old Virginia O'Hanlon. 
1931 Britain went off the gold standard. 
1931 Japanese forces began occupying China's northeast 
 territory of Manchuria. 
1937 J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit" was first published. 
1949 Communist leaders proclaimed The People's Republic 
 of China. 
1961 Antonio Abertondo swam the English Channel (in both 
 directions) in 24 hours and 25 minutes. 
1964 Malta gained independence from Britain. 
1966 The Soviet probe Zond 5 returned to Earth. The 
 spacecraft completed the first unmanned round-trip flight 
 to the moon. 
1973 Henry Kissinger was confirmed by the U.S. Senate to 
 become 56th Secretary of State. He was the first naturalized 
 citizen to hold the office of Secretary of State. 
1981 The U.S. Senate confirmed Sandra Day O'Connor to be the 
 first female justice on the U.S. Supreme Court. 
1981 Belize gained full independence from Great Britain. 
1982 National Football League (NFL) players began a 57-day 
 strike. It was their first regular-season walkout. 
1982 Amin Gemayel was elected president of Lebanon. He was 
 the brother of Bashir Gemayel who was the president-elect 
 when he was assassinated. 
1984 General Motors and the United Auto Workers union reached 
 an agreement that would end the previous six days of spot 
 strikes. 
1985 North and South Korea opened their borders for their 
 family reunion program. 
1993 Russian President Boris N. Yeltsin announced that he 
 was ousting the Communist-dominated Congress. The action 
 was effectively seizing all state power. 
1996 John F. Kennedy Jr. married Carolyn Bessette in a 
 secret ceremony on Cumberland Island, GA. 
2014  smiled.


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