Does Windows 10 spy on you? 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, August 5

http://webby.com/mac.html With this one YOU get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Illegal immigrant in Florida, who chewed off his fingerprints to avoid being ID'd. Details at Boneheads Today in 1833 The village of Chicago was incorporated. The population was approximately 250. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police. --- Jeff Marder 'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds. --- Malaclypse the Younger ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two Elderly Ladies were fussing about their husbands over tea one day. "I do wish my Leroy would stop biting his nails. That makes me terribly nervous!" the first one said. "Oh, my Elmer used to do the same thing," the other woman commented. "But I broke him of that habit real quick." "What did you do?" "I hid his teeth!" ______________________________________________________ Once I took a part time job as an opinion poll sampler, calling people for their views on various issues. On my very first call, I introduced myself, "Hello, this is a telephone poll." The man replied, "Yeah, and this is a street light, and I don't talk to dumb poles without a light!" ______________________________________________________ Here is a picture from subscriber Clyde ______________________________________________________ A man's best friend dies, so he calls the nearest flower shop to order a wreath of flowers to be displayed at the wake. "Put an extra-wide ribbon on it," he tells the clerk. "Print 'Rest in Peace' on both sides and, if there is room, 'We Shall Meet in Heaven.'" The clerk assures him that his order will be carried out and the wreath promptly delivered to the funeral home. Sure enough, the wreath arrives and is set up next to the casket. But the mourners are stunned when they see it. On the extra-wide ribbon is the inscription, "Rest in peace on both sides, and, if there is room, we shall meet in Heaven." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kenzo Roberts, 20, Lee County, Floriduh
Illegal immigrant in Florida chewed off his fingerprints to avoid being ID'd. Chew on this: A Florida man suspected of stealing a Mercedes Benz chewed off the tips of his fingers to avoid being fingerprinted. Kenzo Roberts, 20, was arrested Thursday after deputies for the Lee County Sheriff's Office, spotted a 2015 Mercedes that had been reported stolen. Investigators quickly discovered Roberts was using a fake ID, and was carrying a concealed firearm and three fraudulent credit cards, according to the department's Facebook page. Roberts was placed in the back of patrol car. While he was waiting, disturbing surveillance video shows that he didn't want to get fingered for the crime -- so he started chewing off his fingerprints. The tape shows Roberts gnawing at his fingertips, swallowing the flesh and rubbing his hands against a cage in the back, WPTV reports. It didn't work. When officers scanned Roberts' fingerprints, they discovered he had two felony warrants linked to an aggravated arrest with a deadly weapon charge in Broward County, according to the Palm Beach Post. Roberts was charged with three counts of possession of a counterfeit credit card; grand theft auto; possession of a concealed firearm; possession of similitude of a driver's license; driving with a suspended license; and giving false identification to law enforcement, according to the Orlando Sentinel. Officers said Roberts is in the country illegally and that the Border Patrol has been contacted. Roberts remains in custody at the Lee County Jail on $220,000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Tom Re: Is W10 really spying on what you got? Dear Webby, I just read a rather disturbing piece -- Microslop can and will access everything on your computer when you install Windows 10, including things inadvertently downloaded which may contain something illegal. Microslop will then report this to the proper authorities. Questions: 1. Is this true or just a spammer scaremongering? 2. Is there anyway around this privacy violation besides just not touching this in the first place? Thanks, tom Dear Tom Yes, they can and will access everything on your computer. Yes, they will hassle you if you have unpaid copies of Microsoft Office. No, they will not call the cops on you about your collection of busty ladies. They might report the guy down the street for his child porno collection, but they might not. Stuff like that can not be easily detected with simple formulas checking the registry. They will let the authorities have access if there is a suspected terrorist connection or info. No, there is no way around that, and if you click accept on their 27 pages of small print, then you agree to let them do all that and a lot more. Right now it is best to just ignore the hype about W10 and give them some time to fix the silly thing. There is nothing in it that YOU need. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Hammer - In ancient times a hammer was used to inflict pain on ones enemies. Modern hammers are used to inflict pain on oneself. ______________________________________________________ During the 1989 invasion of Panama, United States troops blared out AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" at the highest volume possible to drive Manuel Noriega out of the Vatican Embassy. When vocalist Brian Johnson heard his music was being used as psychological torture, he is quoted as saying, "I guess now we won't get to play for the Pope." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Honey Lime Salad Dressing Very easy to make and perfect for summer. Approximate Time: 10 minutes Yield: 1/2 cup Ingredients: 1/4 cup fresh lime juice (about 2 limes) 1/4 cup olive oil 2-3 Tbsp honey salt and pepper to taste Directions: Mix all the ingredients together. You can whisk them, or put them in a jar and shake it. By Judy Pariser S. [24] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ At an international conference, an American, a British and a Russian were discussing the shortcomings of their diagnoses. "I can't stand it some time. We treat people for cancer, and then they go and die of AIDS." "I know what you mean." said the British. "We treat them for yellow fever, and it turns out they had malaria. Then, of course, they die." "That is not a problem in our country" said the Russian doctor. "When we treat people for a disease, they die of *that* disease." ____________________________________________________

Things cats do that would be creepy if you did them
____________________________________________________ In Philadelphia the following sign was in the window of a business: "We would rather do business with 1000 terrorists than with a single Jew". Ordinarily this might be cause to get the anti-Hate groups involved but perhaps in these stressful times one might be tempted to let the proprietors, Goldstein's Funeral Home, simply make their statement. ____________________________________________________
Amazing optical illusion paintings.

Today in 
1833 The village of Chicago was incorporated. The population 
 was approximately 250. 
1861 The U.S. federal government levied its first income tax. 
 The tax was 3% of all incomes over $800. The wartime measure 
 was rescinded in 1872. 
1884 On Bedloe's Island in New York Harbor, the cornerstone 
 for the Statue of Liberty was laid. 
1914 Electric traffic lights were installed in Cleveland, Ohio.
1944 Polish insurgents liberated a German labor camp in Warsaw. 
 348 Jewish prisoners were freed. 
1964 U.S. aircraft bombed North Vietnam after North Vietnamese 
 boats attacked U.S. destroyers in the Gulf of Tonkin. 
1966 In New York, groundbreaking for the construction of the 
 original World Trade Center began. 
1969 The Mariner 7, a U.S. space probe, passed by Mars. 
 Photographs and scientific data were sent back to Earth. 
1974 U.S. President Nixon said that he expected to be impeached. 
 Nixon had ordered the investigation into the Watergate 
 break-in to halt.
1981 The U.S. federal government started firing striking air 
 traffic controllers. 
1986 It was revealed that artist Andrew Wyeth had secretly 
 created 240 drawings and paintings of his neighbor. The works 
 of Helga Testorf had been created over a 15-year period. 
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush angrily denounced the 
 Iraqi invasion of Kuwait. 
1991 An investigation was formally launched by Democratic 
 congressional leaders to find out if the release of American 
 hostages was delayed until after the Reagan-Bush presidential 
 election. 
1991 Iraq admitted to misleading U.N. inspectors about secret 
 biological weapons. 
1998 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein stopped cooperating with 
 U.N. weapons inspectors. 
2002 The U.S. closed its consulate in Karachi, Pakistan. The 
 consulate was closed after local authorities removed large 
 concrete blocks and reopened the road in front of the building 
 to normal traffic. 
2009 Google purchased its first public company. The company was 
 the video software maker On2 Technologies. 
2011 NASA announced that its Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter had captured 
 photographic evidence of possible liquid water on Mars during 
 warm seasons. 
2011 Juno was launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station on a 
 mission to Jupiter. It was the first solar-powered spacecraft 
 to go to Jupiter. 
2011 Standard & Poor's Financial Services lowered the United 
 States' AAA credit rating by one notch to AA-plus. 
2015  smiled.


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Fix "This could be spam" notice from Gmail 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, August 4

I managed to get a better contract for McAfee.
http://webby.com/mac.html

With this one YOU get 50% off!

That makes it quite affordable. 
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida's Babyface Floyd caught on felony raps, again Details at Boneheads Today in 1922 The death of Alexander Graham Bell, two days earlier, was recognized by AT&T and the Bell Systems by shutting down all of its switchboards and switching stations. The shutdown affected 13 million phones. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Society, my dear, is like salt water, good to swim in but hard to swallow. --- Arthur Stringer ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ According to George, home is where you can say anything you like 'cause nobody listens to you anyway. ______________________________________________________ An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer. "As you are fitting his glasses, if he asks how much they cost, you say '$275.' If his eyes don't flutter, say, 'For the frames. The lenses will be $250.' If his eyes still don't flutter, you add 'Each.'" ----------- Btw., did you know that if farmers had the same mark-ups as optometrists, each egg would cost over $100 ? ______________________________________________________ Here is a picture from subscriber Noella ______________________________________________________ Three small boys were bragging about their fathers. The first boasted that his dad owned a really big farm. The second boy said his dad owned a really big factory. The third boy, a pastors son, replied: "That's nothin'. My dad owns hell." "No way," another boys scoffed. "No man can own hell?" "Sure he can," the preacher's son said. "My mom told my grandma that the elders of our church gave it to him last night." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Babyface Floyd, 32, St. Petersburg, Floriduh
Florida coppers collar Babyface Floyd on felony raps, again The 32-year-old Floridian--whose name recalls Depression-era hoodlums--was arrested yesterday for allegedly stealing a bracelet from a friend’s home (and then pawning the item for $200). According to cops, Floyd stole the jewelry last month while the female victim was at work. Charged with four felonies, he is being held in the Pinellas County lockup on $30,000 bond, according to jail records. Floyd, an unemployed St. Petersburg resident, is familiar with the facility due to prior arrests for domestic battery, cocaine possession, robbery, theft, battery, marijuana possession, witness tampering, false imprisonment, and carrying a concealed weapon. While an arrest affidavit lists Floyd’s given name as “Baby Face Floyd,” multiple jail records indicate that it is actually “Babyface Floyd,” an apparent amalgam of the gangster names Baby Face Nelson and Pretty Boy Floyd.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lavonne Re: "This could be spam" notice from Gmail Dear Webby, I am getting the notice from Google again that this could be spam or.../ any way if you click on 'I trust this' then you will see pics. If I click on the arrow as your pic shows I do not get to always show images. I think it is Google playing games with you again. Have a great day! Dear Lavonne Google is not playing games with ME. On my Gmail they behave exactly the way I have set it in the settings. Just make a filter to tell it that mail from humor@webby.com is OK. That should stop that thilly nonsense. Some sniveling dogooder at Gmail has decided that if a mail has pikshures and colored writing, den it might be spam. Your filter will exclude it from that nonsense. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced: "A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000." There was a moment's silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry, "Two thousand five hundred!" ______________________________________________________ One day there was a woman who lost her cat named 'Love'. It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him. When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for Love." In New York that is an indictable offense and she was arrested on the spot. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Camping Cooler Tips We have done a lot of camping and usually go for a week at a time. It was getting costly buying bags of ice all the time for the cooler. Then my husband came up with some solutions. First, we froze water in milk jugs for the beginning of the trip. They would last several days before having to buy ice. He also lined the top of the packed cooler with newspaper for insulation. When traveling in the car to the campground, he would cover the cooler with a heavy towel to protect it from the sun giving even more insulation. By using these methods, we found we could go longer without having to buy bags of ice. We froze as much food as possible before leaving. We also planned our meals so the food on the top was the first meals for the week. Source: My husband By HerkDia [29] Best is to hang the cooler in a thick, wet blanket from a tree or clothes line between trees. It takes about 580 calories of heat to evaporate 1 gram of water. (a cube of water the size of a standard sugar cube is about one gram of water) Some of those 580 calories to evaporate EACH GRAM of water in the wet blanket are supplied by the wind, but a good part of them are taken out of the cooler. You don't have to wrap the cooler. Just set it on the blanket, bring the corners up and knot them. It does not have to be airtight. Let any warm air rise out of it. Then pull it up with a rope. By the way, that is also recommended so that your food is not bear bait. If the weather is chilly and windy, don't make the blanket wet, otherwise everything in the cooler will freeze. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ There was this Chinese businessman visiting a newly acquired business in the United States. As a gesture of good will, the executives of his newly acquired business took him to a golf course for a round of golf. He had not played the game before. Upon his return to China, his family asked what he had done in the United States. He replied, "Played most interesting game. Hit little white ball with long stick in large cow pasture. Name of game is "Oh @#$%!" ____________________________________________________
trashcan love
____________________________________________________ Trisha walked into the doctor's waiting room and couldn't find an empty seat anywhere. Finally, she walks over to one gentleman that was sitting down, and said, "I wonder if I might trouble you for your seat. You see, I'm pregnant." The gentleman groaned, and in obvious pain struggled to his feet and lurched across the room to lean on the the water fountain for support. As Trisha sat down, another lady in the waiting room looked her over and said, "You know, if you hadn't told me, I never would have guessed you were pregnant. How far along are you?" Looking at her watch, she replied, "Oh, about a half an hour!" ____________________________________________________
I love the fields of lavender in France.

Today in 
1735 Freedom of the press was established with an acquittal 
 of John Peter Zenger. The writer of the New York Weekly 
 Journal had been charged with seditious libel by the royal 
 governor of New York. The jury said that "the truth is not 
 libelous." 
1753 George Washington became a Master Mason. 
1790 The Revenue Cutter Service was formed. This U.S. naval 
 task force was the beginning of the U.S. Coast Guard. 
1914 Britain declared war on Germany in World War I. 
 The U.S. proclaimed its neutrality, for a while. 
1922 The death of Alexander Graham Bell, two days earlier, 
 was recognized by AT&T and the Bell Systems by shutting 
 down all of its switchboards and switching stations. The 
 shutdown affected 13 million phones. 
1944 Nazi police raided a house in Amsterdam and arrested 
 eight people. Anne Frank, a teenager at the time, was one 
 of the people arrested. Her diary would be published after 
 her death. 
1954 The uranium rush began in Saskatchewan, Canada. 
1956 William Herz became the first person to race a motorcycle 
 over 200 miles per hour. He was clocked at 210 mph. 
1957 Florence Chadwick set a world record by swimming the 
 English Channel in 6 hours and 7 minutes. 
1958 The first potato flake plant was completed in Grand 
 Forks, ND. 
1972 Arthur Bremer was found guilty of shooting George Wallace, 
 the governor of Alabama. Bremer was sentenced to 63 years 
 in prison. 
1983 New York Yankee outfielder Dave Winfield threw a baseball 
 during warm-ups and accidentally killed a seagull. After the 
 game, Toronto police arrested him for "causing unnecessary 
 suffering to an animal." 
1984 Upper Volta, an African republic, changed its name to 
 Burkina Faso. 
1986 The United States Football League called off its 1986 
 season. This was after winning only token damages in its 
 antitrust lawsuit against the National Football League. 
1987 The Fairness Doctrine was rescinded by the Federal 
 Communications Commission. The doctrine had required that 
 radio and TV stations present controversial issues in a 
 balanced fashion. 
1990 The European Community imposed an embargo on oil from 
 Iraq and Kuwait. This was done to protest the Iraqi invasion 
 of the oil-rich Kuwait. 
1991 The Oceanos, a Greek luxury liner, sank off of South 
 Africa's southeast coast. All of the 402 passengers and 
 179 crewmembers survived. 
1994 Yugoslavia withdrew its support for Bosnian Serbs. The 
 border between Yugoslavia and Serb-held Bosnia was sealed. 
1997 Teamsters began a 15-day strike against UPS (United 
 Parcel Service). The strikers eventually won an increase 
 in full-time positions and defeated a proposed 
 reorganization of the company's pension plan. 
2007 NASA's Phoenix spacecraft was launched on a space 
 exploration mission of Mars. The Phoenix lander descended 
 on Mars on May 25, 2008. 
2009 North Korean leader Kim Jong-il pardoned two American 
 journalists, who had been arrested and imprisoned for 
 illegal entry earlier in the year. 
2015  smiled.


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How to correct the "No Images" problem 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, August 3

I managed to get a better contract for McAfee.
With this one YOU get 50% off!
That makes it quite affordable. 
No more need to slum with half working freebies.
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
There is one that even protects your phones,
not just computers and tablets!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida carjacker tries to steal unmarked cop car Details at Boneheads Today in 1914 Germany declared war on France. The next day Britain declared war on Germany and turned the traditional European border shuffling into World War I. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile. --- Albert Schweitzer (1875 - 1965) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After church, tells his parents to go and talk to the minister right away. They agree and the pastor greets the family. "I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust." "That's right, , I did." "And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust." "Yes, I'm glad you were listening. Why do you ask?" "Well you better come over to our house right away and look under my bed 'cause there's someone either comin' or goin'!" ______________________________________________________ A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be held against you, you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride." ______________________________________________________ Here is a picture from subscriber Janina ______________________________________________________ >From James They weren't in my pockets. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car's ignition. He's afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband: "I left my keys in the car and it's been stolen." There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice. "Are you kidding me?" he barked, "I dropped you off!" Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me." He retorted,"I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn't steal your damn car!" ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dominique Albert, 27, St. Petersburg, Floriduh
Carjacker Tries To Steal Unmarked Cop Car A knife-wielding Florida man who attempted a carjacking Thursday night quickly discovered that the vehicle he targeted was an undercover cop car occupied by a pair of armed plainclothes detectives, according to an arrest affidavit. Dominique Albert, 27, allegedly approached the car on a St. Petersburg street around 9:45 PM and yanked open the passenger door. Albert, pictured above, leaned into the car while holding a steak knife in his right hand. While Albert’s would-be victims were initially startled by the interloper, they quickly rallied. “Police!,” shouted Detective Daniel Torok from the driver’s seat as he drew his handgun and leveled it at Albert, who “turned and fled on foot.” Torok and his partner then chased after Albert, who dropped his knife during the pursuit. When the cops caught up with Albert, he “fought Police with violence, but was finally taken into custody after a lengthy fight.” Albert, who allegedly continued to struggle after being handcuffed, stopped resisting after a backup officer “deployed his Taser.” A search of Albert turned up two other “large, fixed blade knives,” police reported. Charged with carjacking, resisting arrest, and aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer, all felonies, Albert is locked up on $170,000 bond. At the time of the attempted carjacking, Albert was free on bond in connection with an arrest last month for shoplifting at a Walmart store.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: No pictures is on your end Dear Webby, Re: no pictures. I still think its on your end because Ophelia's site come in with all the pictures and prompts. Thanks. Frank Dear Frank I can't send pictures to 60,000 people, but not to you and Roland, who has the same problem. It does not work that way. Search for mail from humor@webby.com Click on a listing so that it shows to me Pull down the little arrow besides "me" In there you can set whether or not images are displayed from THAT particular sender. Change that for the Humor Letter, so that they are displayed. Then you will see the pictures even in old Humor Letters. The pictures ARE there, just not displayed. You can set that differently for each of your senders. Probably your computer fixer has a slow connection and turned off the images, and could not remember how to turn them back on. The joke is on him, though. Gmail gets the pictures anyway, just does not display them, when he has his blinders on. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ said, "Hey, mom, can you give me twenty dollars?" "Certainly not," mom said. said, "If you do, I'll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop." Mother's ears perked up. She grabbed her purse, handed a twenty and said, "Well? What did he say?" "He said, 'Marie, please go into the garden for a bit. One look at your make-up should scare that neighbor's dog enough to shut him up long enough so that I can have a nap in peace and quiet'." ______________________________________________________ A Scotsman went to the zoo for the first time. At one cage, he stopped and asked the keeper, "Now, what animal would that be?" The zoo keeper said, "That's a moose from Canada." "A moose!" exclaimed the Scotsman, "Hoots mon! They must ha' rrrats like elleponts o'er there!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Old Blankets for Quilt Batting Old wool like blankets make great filler or batting for quilts, especially the scratchy ones. By Leona [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ An old-timer is someone who remembers every detail of their life story, but cannot remember how many times they have told the same person. ____________________________________________________
giggling dolphin
____________________________________________________ A young boy comes running down the street looking for a cop. He finds one and then begs, "Please, officer, come back to the bar with me, my father's in a fight." Well, they get back to the bar and there's three guys fighting like you wouldn't believe. After a while the cop turns to the kid and says, "Okay, which one's your father?" The kid looks up at the cop and says, "I don't know, officer. That's what they're fighting about." ____________________________________________________
A cozy hut built of mud and sticks. This guy knows how to survive!

Today in 
1492 Christopher Columbus left Palos, Spain with three ships. 
 The voyage led him to what is now known as the Americas. 
 He reached the Bahamas on October 12. 
1777 During the Siege of Fort Stanwix the first U.S. flag was 
 officially flown during battle. 
1900 Firestone Tire & Rubber Co. was founded. 
1914 Germany declared war on France. The next day World 
 War I began when Britain declared war on Germany. 
1933 The Mickey Mouse Watch was introduced for the price of $2.75. 
1936 The U.S. State Department advised Americans to leave Spain 
 due to the Spanish Civil War. 
1943 Gen. George S. Patton verbally abused and slapped a private. 
 Later, Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower ordered him to apologize for 
 the incident. 
1958 The Nautilus became the first vessel to cross the North Pole 
 underwater. The mission was known as "Operation Sunshine." 
1979 "More American Graffiti" was released. 
1981 U.S. traffic controllers with PATCO, the Professional Air 
 Traffic Controllers Organization, went on strike. They were 
 fired just as U.S. President Reagan had warned. 
1985 Mail service returned to a nudist colony in Paradise 
 Lake, FL. Residents promised that they'd wear clothes or 
 stay out of sight when the mailperson came to deliver. 
1988 The Soviet Union released Mathias Rust. He had been taken 
 into custody on May 28, 1987 for landing a plane in Moscow's 
 Red Square. 
1990 Thousands of Iraqi troops pushed within a few miles of 
 the border of Saudi Arabia. This heightened world concerns 
 that the invasion of Kuwait could spread. 
1992 The U.S. Senate voted to restrict and eventually end the 
 testing of nuclear weapons. 
1992 Russia and Ukraine agreed to put the Black Sea Fleet 
 under joint command. The agreement was to last for three years. 
1995 Eyad Ismoil was flown from Jordan to the U.S. to face 
 charges that he had driven the van that blew up in New York's 
 World Trade Center. 
2004 In New York, the Statue of Liberty re-opened to the public. 
 The site had been closed since the terrorist attacks on the 
 U.S. on September 11, 2001. 
2004 NASA launched the spacecraft Messenger. The 6 1/2 year 
 journey was planned to arrive at the planet Mercury in March 
 2011. On April 30, 2015, Messenger crashed into the surface 
 of Mercury after sending back more than 270,000 pictures. 
2009 Bolivia became the first South American country to 
 declare the right of indigenous people to govern themselves.
2015  smiled.


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No pictures in newsletters on Gmail 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, August 2

Thank you Noella!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida burglar found asleep surrounded by chicken and beer Details at Boneheads Today in 1887 Rowell Hodge patented barbed wire. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Realism...has no more to do with reality than anything else. --- Hob Broun ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A young lady holding a baby walks into a drug store and asks the clerk if she can use the store's baby scale. "Sorry, ma'am," says the clerk. "Our baby scale is broken. But we can figure the baby's weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the second number from the first." "Oh, that won't work," she answered. "Why not?" asks the clerk. "Because," she answers, "I'm not the mother - I'm the aunt." ______________________________________________________ >From Lynn When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with waterguns?" Mom smiled and then replied, "...Oh, I remember....!!!!" ______________________________________________________ Here is a picture from subscriber Noella Blue Moon In Bolivar ______________________________________________________ There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A few years later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jacob Miller, 22, Lake Worth Floriduh
Florida burglar found asleep surrounded by chicken and beer Chicken and beer make for a bad burglary. A Florida family tells police they came home to chicken bones and empty beer bottles scattered about their kitchen floor and a would-be robber passed out on their couch. The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office reports that deputies found 22-year-old Jacob Miller still asleep when they responded Monday to the Lake Worth home in South Florida. After taking Miller into custody, deputies found numerous items of jewelry on the man that belonged to the family. The Palm Beach Post reports that Miller told deputies he went into the home because he needed a place to stay but refused to answer any other questions. Miller was charged with burglary and theft. Records also showed an open warrant for burglary in Texas.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: No pictures showing in newsletter Dear Webby, I haven't voted in a couple of days because I don't see any promps. I thought it was my pcI just got it back from the repair shop and it does the same thing. Can you help? I have windows 8 Thanks. Frank Dear Frank Looks like you have images in your Gmail turned off. You are missing not only the vote image, but also the Mugshot of the Bonehead Award and the picture of the day. Once you have images turned on again, they will suddenly become visible. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A new nurse listened while Dr. Bryce was yelling, "Typhoid! Tetanus! Measles!" The new nurse asked another nurse, "Why is he doing that?" The other nurse replied, "Oh, he just likes to act like it was him who calls the shots around here." ______________________________________________________ Just about the time when your income gets to the point where food prices don't matter, calories do. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Dollar Store Placemats as Drawer Liners I use plastic place mats from the dollar store for this. They are usually durable, come in fun patterns, and they are easy to cut. They work best in drawers, but I've had success on smaller shelves with them. You could glue them down, but I usually cut them to fit snugly in place so they can be removed and washed. By Jensutherland [1] Dollar stores also have soft rubberized mesh drawer liners that keep stuff from slipping and sliding. A roll of those rubber liners is good for a large or two small drawers. They are a dollar per roll, and can be tossed into the wash or dishwasher or rinsed in the sink. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.) Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too) ____________________________________________________
80 Miles Per Hour
____________________________________________________ A large office building was showing signs of its advanced age. Structural and cosmetic renovations had been going on for two years and no end was in sight. The chronic chaos moved unpredictably from floor to floor. The tenants were apparently feeling the stress. Posted in the elevator one morning was a hand- lettered sign left by the workmen which read, "Watch your step--floors 3, 4, and 5." By lunchtime, someone had added, ". . . have been removed." ____________________________________________________
A cozy hut built of mud and sticks. This guy knows how to survive!

Today in 
1776 Members of the Continental Congress began adding their 
 signatures to the Declaration of Independence. 
1791 Samuel Briggs and his son Samuel Briggs, Jr. received 
 a joint patent for their nail-making machine.
1858 In Boston and New York City the first mailboxes were 
 installed along streets. 
1861 The United States Congress passed the first income tax. 
 The revenues were intended for the war effort against the 
 South. The tax was never enacted. 
1887 Rowell Hodge patented barbed wire. 
1892 Charles A. Wheeler patented the first escalator. 
1926 John Barrymore and Mary Astor starred in the first 
 showing of the Vitaphone System. The system was the 
 combining of picture and sound for movies. 
1939 Albert Einstein signed a letter to President Roosevelt 
 urging the U.S. to have an atomic weapons research program. 
1939 U.S. President Roosevelt signed the Hatch Act. The act 
 prohibited civil service employees from taking an active 
 part in political campaigns. 
1943 The U.S. Navy patrol torpedo boat, PT-109, sank after 
 being attacked by a Japanese destroyer. The boat was under 
 the command of Lt. John F. Kennedy. 
1945 The Allied conference at Potsdam was concluded. 
1964 The Pentagon reported the first of two North Vietnamese 
 attacks on U.S. destroyers in the Gulf of Tonkin. 
1987 "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" was re-released. The film 
 was 50 years old at the time of its re-release. 
1990 Iraq invaded the oil-rich country of Kuwait. Iraq claimed 
 that Kuwait had driven down oil prices by exceeding production 
 quotas set by OPEC. 
1995 China ordered the expulsion of two U.S. Air Force officers. 
 The two were said to have been caught spying on military sights. 
2015  smiled.


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Camera chip for computer files 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, August 1

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Chief Keef Impostor Busted By The Feds Details at Boneheads Today in 1774 Oxygen was isolated from air successfully by chemist Carl Wilhelm and scientist Joseph Priestly. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known. --- Thomas Pickering (1931 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit. Finally she tried threats, warning her son that, "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon." Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four- year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then said to her, "Uh-oh ... I know what *you've* been doing." ______________________________________________________ A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the back seat. The women just won't leave him alone. His mother-in-law says, "You're driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay more to the right." And so on. After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who's driving this car anyway? You or your mother?" ______________________________________________________ Here is a picture from subscriber Clyde: Mt. Shuksan, WA ______________________________________________________ A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later, the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone. "I was totally humiliated," he moaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes." "What's wrong with that?" asked his mother. "We hadn't started eating yet." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lenny Baldwin, 21, Miami Florida
Chief Keef Impostor Busted By The Feds A Miami man masquerading online as the rapper Chief Keef allegedly coerced and threatened a 14-year-old girl into sending him sexually explicit photos, according to federal investigators. Lenny Baldwin, 21, is charged in a three-count indictment with extortion, sexual exploitation of a child, and coercion and enticement of the victim, a Virginia teen who was randomly contacted by Baldwin via Kik, the messaging application. Baldwin has been locked up without bond since his arrest two months ago. The victim’s mother last year contacted Virginia cops to report that her daughter had sent a series of naked photos to a Kik user with the handle “Gbe_chiefkeef.” The man had told the victim that his name was Keith Cozart. The actual Chief Keef (real name: Keith Cozart) is a 19-year-old performer from Chicago who has a lengthy rap sheet and is considered the violence-plagued city’s leading gangsta rapper. Cozart is founder and CEO of the record label Glory Boyz Entertainment, or GBE. A Chicago mayoral spokesperson recently called the rapper “an unacceptable role model” whose music “promotes violence.” On Saturday night, police in Hammond, Indiana shut down Chief Keef’s appearance--via hologram from California-- at a hip-hop festival, citing unspecified safety concerns. As detailed in a search warrant application, after Baldwin received nude pictures from the girl, he pressured her to send additional explicit photos. In Kik messages, Baldwin demanded new images “or ur gonna get exposed.” A review of Baldwin’s Gmail account, agents reported, turned up nude photos of several females that appeared to be under 18. The images were forwarded from Baldwin’s Kik account, which contains the avatar “Keith Cozart.” In one e-mail, Baldwin warned a woman named Leetricia, “I should expose you.”
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Hanna Re: Camera chip back-up capacity Dear Webby, You have mentioned occasionally using camera chips for backing up files. What is their capacity, and how do you do that? I don't have a camera. Hanna Dear Hanna Wether you have a camera or not, get a chip reader! They are from $5 - $15 and read all the chips. The chip reader plugs into a USB port and acts like an extra hard drive. You can drag files from and to it, as if it was just another hard drive in the machine. You can get those chips from 2 GB to 64 GB at computer, electronics and camera stores. Some of them have 2 GB chips occasionally as free door prizes to get you to visit, however, even 64 GB chips are cheaper than an external hard drive. Usually a 32 GB chip is plenty for backing up real data, unless you have lots of movies and music. Editing picture files sitting on a camera chip can be slow, not so muche becasue of the chip, but because of the computer's USB port. For editing big pictures, drag them onto the C: drive into the folder, where you have that kind of pictures, and edit it there. The chip acts just like any ol hard drive, and you can even use DOS bats to single-click back up onto them. Good Luck! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ My ex once suggested a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. It was titled: 'Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong.' ______________________________________________________ The teacher asked to use the words "defeat," "defense," and "detail" in a sentence. said, "The rabbit cut across the field and defeat went over defense before detail." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fishing Boxes as Craft Organizers Organize fabric, ribbons, thread, trim, buttons, needles, and whatever else with cheap fishing boxes from Walmart (~$6). By GRAPE [6] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden. Boy: It's very kind of you, darling. But I don't have any worries or troubles. Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet. ____________________________________________________
math question - she doesn't "get" it
____________________________________________________ A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an abdominal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, if not a psychopsymatic phase, spoke to the doctor about it. "Don't worry about a thing." the doctor told the nurse, looking somewhat amused. "He really does have a bump on his head. The operation took longer than planned, and about halfway through it we ran out of anesthetic. We had to bean him with the fire extinguisher." ____________________________________________________
The great hermit crab shell swap.

Today in 
1498 Christopher Columbus landed on "Isla Santa" (Venezuela). 
1774 Oxygen was isolated from air successfully by chemist 
 Carl Wilhelm and scientist Joseph Priestly. 
1790 The first U.S. census was completed with a total 
 population of 3,929,214 recorded.
1834 Slavery was outlawed in the British empire with an 
 emancipation bill. 
1873 Andrew S. Hallidie successfully tested a cable car. 
 The design was done for San Francisco, CA. 
1893 Shredded wheat was patented by Henry Perky and 
 William Ford. 
1894 The first Sino-Japanese War erupted. The dispute was 
 over control of Korea. 
1907 The U.S. Army established an aeronautical division that 
later became the U.S. Air Force. 
1914 Germany declared war on Russia after Russia sided with 
 Serbs and declared war on Austria the at the beginning of 
 World War I. 
1936 Adolf Hitler presided over the Olympic games as they 
 opened in Berlin. 
1944 In Warsaw, Poland, an uprising against Nazi occupation 
 began. The revolt continued until October 2 when Polish 
 forces surrendered. 
1953 The first aluminum-faced building was completed. It 
 was the first of this type in America. 
1956 The Social Security Act was amended to provide benefits 
 to disabled workers aged 50-64 and disabled adult children. 
1957 The North American Air Defense Command (NORAD) was 
 created by the United States and Canada. 
1973 The movie "American Graffiti" opened. 
1995 Westinghouse Electric Corporation announced a deal to 
 buy CBS for $5.4 billion. 
2006 Cuban leader Fidel Castro turned over absolute power 
 when he gave his brother Raul authority while he underwent 
 an intestinal surgery.
2015  smiled.


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Back-up capacity of camera chips 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, July 31
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Picked my raspberies and a handful of Saskatoons over them
for sweetening and contrast. 



Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida Mom, who chased boy with knife for bugging her daughter on playground. Details at Boneheads Today in 1964 The American space probe Ranger 7 transmitted pictures of the moon's surface. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. --- Mark Twain As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. --- Hagar the Horrible ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Over the cover of a women's magazine, a title caught her eye: "Men's Secret Fear About Their Working Wives." She decided to get a first hand account. "What's your innermost fear about my working?" she asked her husband. "That you'll quit," he promptly replied. ______________________________________________________ A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign, hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passersby pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so much. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a hot concrete slab in front of a huge, yellow and red sign. I didn't realize that somebody was standing in front of the 'S' on the 'SHELL' sign. ______________________________________________________ Here is a picture from subscriber Clyde: Mt Adams, WA ______________________________________________________ Two college students are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change. Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust. Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of singles and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile. The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers. Frank is outraged by his friend's act of generosity. "What on earth did you do that for?" shouts Frank. "You know he's only going to use it on drugs or booze." Matt replies, "And we weren't?" ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Shakella Quinn, 27, Boca Raton Florida
Florida Mom Chased Boy With Knife For Bugging Her Daughter When Shakella Quinn heard about her daughter had a playground argument with a fifth grade boy, she felt obliged to defend the girl's cred -- by allegedly chasing the boy with a knife. Police in Boca Raton, Florida, arrested 27-year-old Quinn on charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, resisting arrest and a probation violation, according to the police report. Quinn's daughter got into an argument with a boy and ran to tell her mother. Witnesses said the suspect responded by grabbing a knife and chasing the boy through a parking lot. The boy eventually ran into an apartment belonging to one of the witnesses, the Palm Beach Post reports. The witness told police that Quinn waited outside the apartment even after being told that police were coming to the scene. Officers said that when they approached Quinn, she was holding a pair of scissors with “an aggressive and threatening grip,” according to the police report, The knife was on the ground nearby, in the parking lot. Neither Quinn's daughter nor the boy she's accused of chasing would talk to police about the incident. Quinn admitted that she yelled at the boy for fighting with her daughter, but denied threatening anyone or using a knife, according to the Florida Sun-Sentinel. Arresting officers said Quinn kicked, screamed and yelled, "I ain't going to jail." She did go to the Palm Beach County Jail. Quinn is currently behind bars in lieu of $25,000 bail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Hanna Re: Camera chip back-up capacity Dear Webby, You have mentioned occasionally using camera chips for backing up files. What is their capacity, and how do you do that? I don't have a camera. Hanna Dear Hanna Wether you have a camera or not, get a chip reader! They are from $5 - $15 and read all the chips. The chip reader plugs into a USB port and acts like an extra hard drive. You can drag files from and to it, as if it was just another hard drive in the machine. You can get those chips from 2 GB to 64 GB at computer, electronics and camera stores. Some of them have 2 GB chips occasionally as free door prizes to get you to visit, however, even 64 GB chips are cheaper than an external hard drive. Usually a 32 GB chip is plenty for backing up real data, unless you have lots of movies and music. Editing picture files sitting on a camera chip can be slow, not so muche becasue of the chip, but because of the computer's USB port. For editing big pictures, drag them onto the C: drive into the folder, where you have that kind of pictures, and edit it there. The chip acts just like any ol hard drive, and you can even use DOS bats to single-click back up onto them. Good Luck! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A doctor, an engineer, a rabbi and a politician were debating who was the world's first professional. The Doctor said "It must have been a doctor. Who else could have helped with the world's first surgery of taking a rib from Adam to create Eve, the first woman?" "No," said the rabbi. "It must have been a rabbi, since the Lord needed someone to help preach his message to Adam and the world." "Wait," said the engineer. "The world was created in 6 days from nothing. Do you know what a master engineering feat that must have been to create the whole world into an orgnanized and reasonably civilized place from utter chaos?" "Yes, but who created the chaos?" asked the politician. ______________________________________________________ Police was dispatched to an Ohio college campus this week to break up a fight involving two group of students, about 35 students total were involved. A group of black students saw what they thought were members of the KKK white supremacist organization parading around the campus. They took offense and proceeded to yell and throw empty bottles at them. A fight followed. It turned out that they were members of a campus fraternity that were going to a party dressed as the Pope and his entourage of Cardinals. That'll teach people not to wear "evil" costumes! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Vaseline as Diaper Cream I was reading about all the concoctions for belly butter and thought I'd share my sure fire diaper rash preventative. My boys are 60, 57, 55, and 38. I used petroleum jelly (aka Vaseline) on their bottoms after each diaper change. We "never" had diaper rash! Not even after I started giving them "real" orange juice. By Marty Dick [160] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A man walks up the counter and says, "I'll have 2 pounds of Tofu." The man at the counter says, "Oh, you must be from California." The man responds, "How stereotypical! If I had ordered Pepperoni would you think I was Italian?" "No." answers the man at the counter. And besides, pepperoni is more Sicilian than Italian. "If I had ordered Wienerschnitzel would you have thought I was German?" he asks. "No." says the man behind the counter, "and besides, Wiener Schnitzel are from Wien, the capital of Austria." "Then why," he asks, "would you think I was from California, just because I want 2 pounds of tofu ???" The man looks up from the counter and says, "'Cause you're in a hardware store." ____________________________________________________
floppy, floppy spider
____________________________________________________ When a mother saw a thunderstorm forming in mid- afternoon, she worried about her five-year-old daughter who would be walking the three blocks from kindergartenl to home. Deciding to meet her, the mother saw her walking nonchalantly along, stopping to smile whenever lightning flashed. Seeing her mother, the little girl ran to her, explaining happily, "All the way home, God's been taking my picture!" ____________________________________________________
Cut feather art, I especially like #4 and #7.

Today in 
1498 Christopher Columbus, on his third voyage to the 
 Western Hemisphere, arrived at the island of Trinidad. 
1790 The first U.S. patent was issued to Samuel Hopkins 
 for his process for making potash and pearl ashes. The 
 substance was used in fertilizer. 
1919 Germany's Weimar Constitution was adopted. 
1928 MGM’s Leo the lion roared for the first time. He 
 introduced MGM’s first talking picture, "White Shadows 
 on the South Seas." 
1932 Enzo Ferrari retired from racing. In 1950 he launched 
 a series of cars under his name. 
1955 Marilyn Bell of Toronto, Canada, at age 17, became 
 the youngest person to swim the English Channel. 
1964 The American space probe Ranger 7 transmitted pictures 
 of the moon's surface. 
1971 Men rode in a vehicle on the moon for the first time in 
 a lunar rover vehicle (LRV). 
1981 The seven-week baseball players’ strike came to an end 
 when the players and owners agreed on the issue of free agent 
 compensation. 
1982 Yugoslavia imposed a six-month freeze on prices. 
1989 A pro-Iranian group in Lebanon released a videotape 
 reportedly showing the hanged body of American hostage 
 William R. Higgins. 
1989 The Game Boy handheld video game device was released 
 in the U.S. 
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush and Soviet President 
 Mikhail Gorbachev signed the Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty. 
1995 The Walt Disney Company agreed to acquire Capital 
 Cities/ABC in a $19 billion deal. 
1999 The spacecraft Lunar Prospect crashed into the moon. It 
 was a mission to detect frozen water under the moon's surface. 
 The craft had been launched on January 6, 1998. 
2015  smiled.


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Can you upgrade from VISTA to Windows 7 without losing files? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, July 30

Thank you, Charles

Beautiful full moon out tonight!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Fugitive arrested after cops see him reported as actor in horror film Details at Boneheads Today in 1945 The USS Indianapolis was torpedoed by a Japanese submarine. The ship had just delivered key components of the Hiroshima atomic bomb to the Pacific island of Tinian. Only 316 out of 1,196 men aboard survived the attack. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Some people will never learn anything because they understand everything too soon. --- Alexander Pope (1688 - 1744) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ This older couple met their demise in an auto accident and were transported to Heaven. As they were waiting to be processed, they began to look all around at their setting for eternity. The wife was amazed at the beauty, the peace and the contentment she felt and commented over and over about what a nice place Heaven was and how fortunate she felt to be there. She asked her mate:"What would you do if you could go back for just one day?" "I'd go strangle whoever invented bran muffins. We could have been here 15 years ago!" ______________________________________________________ Dr Gordon was a guest at a chic gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which he was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," Dr Gordon replied. "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the right track." "What sort of question?" asked the hostess. "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " The hostess thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't haappen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history." ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for having used a picture, that had been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that some day somebody will demand payment, AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make off the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. Hopefully none of those have been uploaded for entrapment purposes. ______________________________________________________ Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't believe in capital punishment and didn't want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course. But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness, and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury. "Madam," he explained, "This is not a murder trial! It's a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $12,000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday." "Well, okay," agreed Mrs. Hunter, "I'll serve. I guess I could be wrong about capital punishment after all!" ______________________________________________________ Here is a picture from subscriber Clyde: Clyde's Cactus ______________________________________________________ On a Monday the teacher asked what happened over the weekend. said, "We visited my grandmother in Minneapolis, Minnesota." The teacher said, "Good, can you spell that for the class?" thought for a minute and said, "Just kidding, we went to Ohio." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jason Stange, 44, Tacoma, Washington
Fugitive arrested after cops see him reported as actor in horror film A fugitive has been arrested after federal agents saw his photo in a Washington state newspaper that ran a story about a low-budget horror movie. The News Tribune reports that 44-year-old Jason Stange, a convicted bank robber, plays a leading role in the movie, "Marla Mae." The Olympian newspaper ran a feature story on the film Friday with photos that showed Stange on the film set in Olympia. That tattoo, that face, that name, yes, that's him! Federal agents tracked down Stange and arrested him Friday at a restaurant close to the filming location. Stange pleaded guilty to an armed bank robbery in 2006 and was given a 117-month prison sentence. A federal probation violation warrant was issued last year after Stange left a halfway house in Spokane. The film's producer says Stange will remain in the film, which is scheduled for release in 2016.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Denise Re: VISTA to Windows 7 Dear Webby, Can you advise, please? Our computer has Vista and we have purchased Windows 7. Do we have to uninstall Vista before we install Windows 7? Thank you Denise Dear Denise If you do it right, you won't have to format and lose it all. First make sure your computer can handle W7. Theoretically it should, but it's best to make sure before you take the plunge. Download and run the Windows 7 Upgrade Advisor to see if your PC is ready for Windows 7. It scans your hardware, devices, and installed programs for known compatibility issues, gives you guidance on how to resolve potential issues found, and recommends what to do before you upgrade. Windows 7 Upgrade Advisor Next print this tutorial: VISTA to Windows 7 Yes, print it out! During the upgrade the computer will reboot a few times, and you will not be able to get back to that online tutorial. Follow the steps in that with a highlighter or red pen to checkmark, and make sure you don't miss any steps. Of course, before you do any of that, it is a very good idea to back up all important data, addresses, mails, spreadsheets, documents, pictures, music, etc. onto a camera chip or DVD. Good Luck! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An elderly lady is on a cruise ship and wanders up to the bar and asks for a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today." The bartender says "Well, since it's your birthday, this one is on me." As the woman finishes her drink, the lady to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink too." The elderly matron says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a scotch with two drops of water." "Coming up," says the bartender. As she finishes her drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one also. The lady says, "Thank you. Bartender, I would like another scotch with two drops of water." "Comin' right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?" The 80 year old replies, "Sonny, when you're my age, you learn how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue." ______________________________________________________ At the end of their first date, a guy takes the girl home. Emboldened by the night, the guy decides to try for the first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her: "Darling, how 'bout a good night kiss?" Horrified, she replies "Are you mad? My parents will see us!" Him: "Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" Her: "No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?" Him: "Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" Her: "No way. It's just too risky!" Him "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?" Her: "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" Him: "Oh yes you can. Please?" Her: "No, no. I just can't" Him: "I beg you ... " Suddenly the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says: "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it. But for God sake tell the idiot to take his hand off the intercom." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Frozen Yogurt Discs This is a super simple recipe. The kids can even help you make them. My kids can't wait for the discs to freeze. It's one of their favorite frozen treats. Approximate Time: a few minutes, plus time for freezing. Yield: As many as you would like. Ingredients: Yogurt, any type Pieces of fruit (optional) Steps: Put some wax paper onto a baking sheet. It helps to get the discs off later. Scoop some yogurt into a plastic zippy bag. You can make as much or as little as you would like. Snip a small piece off the corner of the bag. Carefully squeeze a little dollop on the wax paper. Keep squeezing the dollops until you run out of yogurt. Optional: You can add a small piece of fruit to each disc if you would like. Then cover with a small amount of yogurt. Put in the freezer. It doesn't take very long for them to firm up. We wait about an hour or so. Pop the discs off to eat, or put in a container for storage. By Becky Miles [58] First step should be to re-arrange the stuff in your freezer so that you have a perfectly level base for your baking sheet. Trying to do that with one hand while holding the baking sheet with the other might result in a big mess. At this time of year, when you frequently toss in containers of fruit, that can be a challenge, so do that first! If you don't have yoghurt, you can use custard, like good ol Birds Custard img src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31c9rPSCCEL._SL75_.jpg" It is cheap and easy and clean product since 1837. 600g of powder makes 16 pints of custard !! That link is of course not the only source! It just shows you what to look for at your grocery store. You can add chocolate chips to flavor it, or any fruit. You can also just drop a spoon full over a berry or pitted cherry. No limit to what you can do. Have FUN! DarWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A cop walking his usual beat sees an older man pulling a box on a leash down a busy street. "Poor fellow," the cop thinks to himself. "I'd better go humor him." "That's a nice dog you got there," the cop says to the man. "It isn't a dog, it's a box," the man replies. "Oh, I'm sorry," says the policeman. "I thought you were a bit....strange." The old man walks past the cop, then turns to his box, and says, "We sure fooled him that time, didn't we, Rover?" ____________________________________________________
Poor fail
____________________________________________________ A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before. All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty. One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you." "My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need when I see your mother kiss you on the cheek." ____________________________________________________
The extraordinary Birds of Paradise. I could watch these beautiful birds all day, every day.

Today in 
1502 Christopher Columbus landed at Guanaja in the Bay Islands 
 off the coast of Honduras during his fourth voyage. 
1898 "Scientific America" carried the first magazine automobile ad. 
 The ad was for the Winton Motor Car Company of Cleveland, OH. 
1932 Walt Disney's "Flowers and Trees" premiered. It was the 
 first Academy Award winning cartoon and first cartoon short to 
 use Technicolor. 
1942 The WAVES were created by legislation signed by U.S. President 
 Franklin D. Roosevelt. The members of the Women Accepted for 
 Volunteer Emergency Service were a part of the U.S. Navy. 
1945 The USS Indianapolis was torpedoed by a Japanese submarine. 
 The ship had just delivered key components of the Hiroshima 
 atomic bomb to the Pacific island of Tinian. Only 316 out of 
 1,196 men aboard survived the attack. 
1956 The phrase "In God We Trust" was adopted as the U.S. 
 national motto. 
1965 U.S. President Johnson signed into law Social Security 
 Act that established Medicare and Medicaid. It went into 
 effect the following year. 
1974 The U.S. House of Representatives Judiciary Committee 
 voted to impeach President Nixon for blocking the Watergate 
 investigation and for abuse of power. 
1987 Indian troops arrived in Jaffna, Sri Lanka, to disarm 
 the Tamil Tigers and enforce a peace pact. 
1990 In Spring Hill, TN, the first Saturn automobile rolled 
 off the assembly line. 
1991 In China, construction began on the Oriental Pearl 
 Radio & TV Tower. 
2001 Lance Armstrong became the first American to win three 
 consecutive Tours de France. 
2003 In Mexico, the last 'old style' Volkswagon Beetle rolled 
 off an assembly line. 
2015  smiled.


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Does an old Excel work on Windows 8.1? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, July 29

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh Kindergarten teacher harasses neighbor about barbecuing Details at Boneheads Today in 1940 John Sigmund of St. Louis, MO, completed a 292-mile swim down the Mississippi River. The swim from St. Louis to Caruthersville, MO took him 89 hours and 48 minutes. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed. --- David Frost If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) "He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else." --- Benjamin Franklin ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Barb Minister's Wife Jack goes to his friend Mike and says "I'm sleeping with the minister's wife. Can you keep him back in church for an hour after service for me?" Mike doesn't like it, but being a friend, he agrees. After the service, Mike starts talking to the minister, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the minister gets annoyed and asks Mike what he's really up to. Mike, feeling guilty, finally confesses to the minister. "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied." The minister thinks for a minute, smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Mike's shoulder and says: "You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago". ______________________________________________________ When Liz went with her daughter to visit a prestigious university, their student guide pointed out the nationally ranked library and state-of-the-art science facilities. She told them that the professors were the best in the world, and she recommended to Liz's daughter to apply early to improve her chances for admission. She said, "We get so many applicants because of the stature and reputation of the school." After the tour Liz asked their guide, "Why did you choose this school?" She said, "Oh, because my boyfriend works at the McDonalds just a block from here since he got his PhD three years ago." ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for having used a picture, that had been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that some day somebody will demand payment, AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make off the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. Hopefully none of those have been uploaded for entrapment purposes. ______________________________________________________ An Army major, was conducting a field test when communications went dead, just when headquarters initiated a call to him. Immediately, he jumped into a jeep and ordered a sergeant to speed to the command station. When the major and the sergeant ran in, the group cheered their arrival. The commanding officer then stepped forward and shook the major's hand. "Don't congratulate me, sir," he said modestly as he pointed to his driver. "It was all the sergeant's doing." The commanding officer nodded and turned to the sergeant. "Congratulations, Sergeant!" he said. "The major's wife just had a baby girl." ______________________________________________________ Here is a picture from subscriber Clyde: Mt AdamsTahklahk Lake, Washington ______________________________________________________ An amateur golfer is one who addresses the ball twice: once before swinging, and once again after swinging. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sue Godfirnon, 57, St. Petersburg, Floriduh
Floriduh Kindergarten teacher harasses neighbor about barbecuing A video of a Pinellas County code enforcement officer reprimanding two men about BBQ smoke from their grill is now viral. More than 4 million people have seen the video, that was shot July 22 outside the south St. Petersburg home. Godfirnon had in the past called the fire department, the cops, and filed at least 15 complaints with the county. Ajaya Satyal with Pinellas County Air Quality said: “Mostly the complaints have been filed after the fact but several occasions like the last incident our inspector found odor and smoke emanating from this property,” said Satyal about the 15 complaints made about the property on Alcola Way South. “I hope she leaves us alone, I hope she moves out of the neighborhood,” said Dwayne Matt. “I don’t think you know what all we’ve been through,” said Dwayne. The Matt brothers live in the house they grew up in, that they inherited from their parents. Godfirnon is relatively new to the neighborhood. She has not complained about her white neighbor barbecuing. Since the video was posted last week, it has been shared and viewed over 4 million of times. And the incident has become a rallying cry for both conservative bloggers who see government bureaucracy run amok, and African-American activists denouncing the confrontation as harassment. ---------------------- Earliest account of BBQ: Genesis 8:21 Then Noah built an altar to the LORD, and took of every clean animal and of every clean bird and offered barbebcued offerings on the altar. 21: The LORD smelled the soothing aroma; and the LORD said to Himself, "I will never again curse the ground on account of man, ... That is a bit before my time, but it is very clear that the smell of barbecuing is approved by the HIGHEST authority.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marlene Re: Old Excel for W8.1 Dear Webby, I have used an older version of excell for years. Just had to buy a new computer with windows 8.1. can I install the older version or must I buy the new one. thanks for all you do. BTW- you are really missed the days you go for treatment. is there anyway you could set up a "best of webby" for those day Marlene Dear Marlene The next injection trip will be in October. They are getting further and further apart. With Excel, I would try to install it, if you have the setup file. If not, try to find one on Ebay or Amazon. I am using a fairly ancient 2003 version occasionally, and it works OK. You can also install Open Office and use Open Office Calc, like most of Europe and Asia is. It can pick up Excel files from any version, and even save them back as Excel files. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Overheard in the elevator: I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic. Driving to work this morning on the freeway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner! I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane. It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver in my coffee, and it spilled all over the keyboard on my laptop! ______________________________________________________ Thinking about technology, my neighbor knew a lady who wanted a picture touched up of her late husband. She asked the photosho guru to take the hat off her husband's head in the picture, as well. He asked her, on her way out the door, what side her husband parted his hair on. She thought for a minute, and then said that she didn't remember, but he'd find out when he took the hat off. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Leave Sugar Out of Cooked Foods I don't add sugar to my veggies. I just heat them, whether canned or frozen. I don't put sugar in my cornbread. I am not diabetic, I just don't require that all my food be sweetened. By Marty Dick [160] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A young woman meets her old, retired, parish priest and when he asks her how she is, she bursts out crying. "What's the matter child?" he asks. "Oh, Father," she says, "it's my boyfriend. He won't marry me because I'm Roman Catholic." "There, there child. Here's what you do. Explain to him the faith of the Church, the traditions, the ceremonies and the rites. That'll bring him around." Tearfully, the young woman says she'll try it. About a year later, they meet again, and again she bursts into tears when he asks how she is doing. "Is it your boyfriend, child?" he asks. "Yes, Father." "Did you explain about the Church as I suggested?" "Yes, Father," she says, "but that was the problem. He was so taken by it that he's now studying to be a priest." ____________________________________________________
Nearly naked dance with towels
____________________________________________________ Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!" Another one said, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "God told me!" A voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT!" ____________________________________________________
Wine bottle opener machine

Today in 
1588 The English defeated the Spanish Armada in the Battle 
 of Gravelines. 
1754 The first international boxing match was held. The 
 25-minute match was won when Jack Slack of Britain knocked 
 out Jean Petit from France. 
1914 The first transcontinental telephone service was 
 inaugurated when two people held a conversation between 
 New York, NY and San Francisco, CA. 
1940 John Sigmund of St. Louis, MO, completed a 292-mile 
 swim down the Mississippi River. The swim from St. Louis 
 to Caruthersville, MO took him 89 hours and 48 minutes. 
1957 The International Atomic Energy Agency was established. 
1958 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) 
 was authorized by the U.S. Congress. 
1968 Pope Paul VI reaffirmed the Roman Catholic Church's 
 stance against artificial methods of birth control. 
1975 OAS (Organization of American States) members voted to 
 lift collective sanctions against Cuba. The U.S. government 
 welcomed the action and announced its intention to open 
 serious discussions with Cuba on normalization. 
1981 England's Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer were 
 married. 
1985 General Motors announced that Spring Hill, TN, would be 
 the home of the Saturn automobile assembly plant. 
1993 The Israeli Supreme Court acquitted retired Ohio autoworker 
 John Demjanjuk of being Nazi death camp guard "Ivan the Terrible." 
 His death sentence was thrown out and he was set free. 
1997 Minamata Bay in Japan was declared free of mercury 40 years 
 after contaminated food fish were blamed for deaths and birth 
 defects. 
1998 The United Auto Workers union ended a 54-day strike against 
 General Motors. The strike caused $2.8 billion in lost revenues. 
2005 Astronomers announced that they had discovered a new planet 
 (Xena) larger than Pluto in orbit around the sun.
2015  smiled.


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Task manager top menu 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, July 28

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Minnesota man shot 3 women who wouldn't sing 'Happy Birthday' Details at Boneheads Today in 1866 The metric system was legalized by the U.S. Congress for the standardization of weights and measures throughout the United States. However, because Seantors feared losing votes, it has not been made mandatory. Only electricians cheerfully adopted it, because it is so much easier. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Man is only miserable so far as he thinks himself so. --- Jacopo Sannazaro Man seeketh in society comfort, use and protection. --- Sir Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Here is a joke that I cleaned up and re-wrote to this version a few years ago and that came back to me now unchanged, just the way I put it: On some air bases, the military is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day, on just such a field, the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If you are a commercial airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If you are an Air Force aircraft, it is 1500 hours. If you are a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If you are an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If you are a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon. If you are in the National Guard, it's still a couple of hours until happy hour in the lounge." ______________________________________________________ This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends. Thursday at 5:00 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study. ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for having used a picture, that had been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that some day somebody will demand payment, AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make off the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. Hopefully none of those have been uploaded for entrapment purposes. ______________________________________________________ An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the question, "Have you ever been arrested?" he wrote, "No." The next question, intended for people who had answered in the affirmative to the previous question, was "Why?" The applicant answered it anyway: "Never got caught." ______________________________________________________ Here is a picture from subscriber Bill: Payette River NW of Boise, Idaho ______________________________________________________ The young wife was in tears when she opened the door for her husband. "I've been insulted," she sobbed. "Your mother insulted me." "My mother!" he exclaimed. "But she is a hundred miles away." "I know, but a letter marked "Private, for George only" came for you this morning and I opened it." He looked stern, "I see, but where does the insult come in?" "In the postscript," she answered. "It said: 'Dear Alice, don't forget to give this letter to George.' ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Delonte Thomas, 20, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Minnesota man shot 3 women who wouldn't sing 'Happy Birthday' A Minnesota man who shot three women at a birthday party last July after they refused to sing "Happy Birthday" to his girlfriend has been sentenced to 27 years in prison. Delonte Thomas, 20, was sentenced on Monday after being convicted of one count of attempted first-degree murder and three counts of attempted second-degree murder on June 16, according to KARE11.com. Authorities said on July 9, 2014, Thomas shot three women at a birthday party in Minneapolis after attendees sang "Happy Birthday" to the guest of honor, but not to his date, who shared the same birthday. The lack of interest in the girlfriend's birthday angered Thomas, who left the party in a huff and returned 20 minutes later with a semi-automatic handgun, according to the New York Daily News. Thomas then fired the gun, focusing on one woman who objected to his song request by shooting her nine times, the paper reports. Another woman was shot eight times, including once in the center of her chest, while a third woman was shot eight times in her legs, the Minneapolis Star-Tribune reports. All three victims survived but required surgery for their injuries, according to KSTP.com. Defense lawyers argued that Thomas should only serve 16 years behind bars, while Hennepin County attorney thought the accused should serve all the sentences consecutively, more than 40 years. The judge split the difference with the 27-year sentence, according to a release by the Hennepin County District Attorney. Thomas requested leniency at his sentencing hearing, according to the release.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Mary Re: Task Manager top menu Dear Webby, How do I get my Task Manager back to it's original form, with the multi functions available? Mary Dear Mary Use CTRL SHIFT ESC to open the task manager. It should open in default mode with the six tabs on top, unless you have W8. Have Fun! DearWebby Thanks for the quick response. Your answer didn't work (Windows7), but it did prompt me to ask the "right" question. Thanks for that inadvertent prompt, lol. Windows help and support - " Why does Task Manager look different? Where have the menus and tabs gone? Task Manager has two different views. To see the view that includes menus and tabs, double-click the border of the Task Manager window. To switch back to the view without menus and tabs, double-click anywhere in the border around the tabs." I fixed it, thanks! Mary, Dear Mary That is interesting! All these years I had never double-clicked on the frame, or needed a Task manager without a top menu. Thanks for the tip! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A group Winnebago drivers on route back to Alaska for the summer were sitting in a truck stop. To blend in with the truckers, they had to complain about something, so they were exchanging notes about their ailments. "My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup." "Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour the coffee." "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck." "My blood pressure pills make my dizzy." "I guess that's the price we pay for getting old." "Well, it's not all bad. We should be thankful that we can still drive!" ______________________________________________________ A couple were being given a guided tour of Pico da Bandeira, one of the highest mountains in the Americas. Their guide pointed out where a young couple, petrified by lava, had been discovered. They had been surprised in the act of making love. "How awful !" exclaimed the wife. "Si, but what a great way to spend eternity." added the guide. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Five Minute Chocolate Mug Cake When you need a quick delicious dessert for one or two. Mix these ingredients in a mug, microwave 3 minutes and it's done! Approximate Time: 5 minutes Yield: one or two per mug Ingredients: 1 coffee mug 4 Tbsp plain flour 4 Tbsp sugar 2 Tbsp baking cocoa 1 egg 3 Tbsp milk 3 Tbsp oil splash of vanilla 3 Tbsp chocolate chips (optional) Steps: Add dry ingredients (flour, sugar, cocoa) into cup and mix together. Add egg and mix. Add milk, oil and vanilla and mix. If adding chocolate chips, add them at this time. Place mug in microwave and cook for 3 minutes. The cake will rise over the mug but mine never spilled over. Just watch it and don't be alarmed when it rises high. Allow the mug to cool. I ran a knife around the inside of the cup and the cake came right out or you may eat it right from the mug. The chips will be soft, hot and wet, sort of like a molten cake mix. At this point you may sprinkle powdered sugar, add a dollop of ice cream or just eat it as is. It's moist enough. Now you can have chocolate cake any time of the day in only 5 minutes. You're welcome! : ) By Donna [255] For those of us, who have outgrown the need for huge amounts of sugar, 1 1/2 teaspoons of honey will sweeten it enough. The milk does not have to be fresh milk. Powdered milk dissolved in 3 TBSP water works just fine. If you are tick and sired of vanilla, a teaspoon of instant coffee makes a nice change. Actually, so will any flavor. One time I added some almond butter from the Bulk Barn and worked it into the wet ingredients. WOW! The recipe is sturdy enough so that you can experiment all you want, and it will still turn out fine. Btw., leave it in the Microwave an extra minute or two. You can watch it rise high over the cup, open the door and watch it slowly retract to just a finger's width over the cup. You can also reverse the mixing and mix the wet ingredients first and then add the dry ingredients. Especially if you have wiped the inside of the cup with butter beforehand, cleanup is faster. No matter what you do, with this recipe you can't go wrong. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A minister who was very fond of pure, hot horseradish always kept a bottle of it on his dining room table. He offered some to a guest, who took a big spoonful. When the guest finally was able to speak, he gasped, "I've heard many ministers preach hellfire, but you are the first one I've met who passed out a sample of it." ____________________________________________________
choirboys singing Meow
____________________________________________________ "How did you lose your job at the dress shop?" a woman asked her friend. "Well, after trying on about 25 dresses, the customer said to me, 'I think I would look nicer in something flowing' . . . and I suggested the Mississippi." ____________________________________________________
Wow! These glass sculptures are amazing!

Today in 
1821 Peru declared its independence from Spain. 
1865 The American Dental Association proposed its first 
 code of ethics. 
1866 The metric system was legalized by the U.S. Congress 
 for the standardization of weights and measures throughout 
 the United States. However, because Seantors feared losing 
 votes, it has not been made mandatory. Only electricians
 cheerfully adopted it, because it is so much easier.
1914 World War I officially began when England used Austria-
 Hungaria's march into their Serbian protectorate, after 
 Serbia refused to hand over the assassin of the crown prince. 
1932 Federal troops forcibly dispersed the "Bonus Army" of 
 World War I veterans who had gathered in Washington, DC. 
 They were demanding money they were not scheduled to 
 receive until 1945. 
1942 L.A. Thatcher received a patent for a coin-operated 
 mailbox. The device stamped envelopes when money was inserted. 
1945 A U.S. Army bomber crashed into the 79th floor of New 
 York City's Empire State Building. 14 people were killed and 
 26 were injured. 
1965 U.S. President Johnson announced he was increasing the 
 number of American troops in South Vietnam from 75,000 to 
 125,000. 
1982 San Francisco, CA, became the first city in the U.S. to 
 ban handguns. 
1998 Bell Atlantic and GTE announced $52 billion deal that 
 created the second-largest phone company. 
1998 Serbian military forces seized the Kosovo town of 
 Malisevo. 
1998 Monica Lewinsky received blanket immunity from 
 prosecution to testify before a grand jury about her 
 relationship with U.S. President Clinton. 
2006 Researchers announced that two ancient reptiles had 
 been found off Australia. The Umoonasaurus and 
 Opallionectes were the first of their kind to be found 
 in the period soon after the Jurassic era.
2015  smiled.


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Does W10 have forced updates? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, July 27

There were quite a few comments about unsalted butter being 
healthier, because it is marked that it lasts only a
month, versus salted butter marked to last four months.
That is mostly just for getting a few gullible people
to throw out perfectly good butter and buy fresh butter.

If butter is kept in an airtight butter container in the 
fridge, it won't go bad. Salted butter uses the salt as an 
additional preservative. 

Just keep it in an airtight butter container in the fridge 
and don't worry about it. You will use it up long before it 
goes bad. 

It will go bad only if you keep it uncovered on the counter
or table. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NJ man, who snuck into home of former girlfriend, hid under bed for 5 days. Details at Boneheads Today in 1955 The Allied occupation of Austria ended. I remember that! Rationing ended and I got my first Hot Dog. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. --- Sir Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626) We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward. --- Dan Quayle ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a "birthday/anniversary card." The clerk replied, "We have birthday cards and we have anniversary cards. Why not take one of each?" The man said, "You don't understand. I need a card that covers both events. You see, we're celebrating the fifteenth anniversary of my wife's twenty-ninth birthday." ______________________________________________________ After listening to an impromptu campaign speech, the minister said, "Before I vote for you for sheriff, I would like to know if you partake of intoxicating beverages?" The candidate for sheriff said, "Before I answer, tell me if this is an inquiry or an invitation." ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for having used a picture, that had been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that some day somebody will demand payment, AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make off the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. Hopefully none of those have been uploaded for entrapment purposes. ______________________________________________________ A Mormon acquaintance once pushed Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the Mormon demanded that Twain cite any passage of scripture expressly forbidding polygamy. "Nothing easier," Twain said. "No man can serve two masters." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jason Hubbard 23, SPOTSWOOD, N.J.
NJ man snuck into home of former girlfriend, hid under bed for 5 days Police in New Jersey announced details late Tuesday of a bizarre break-in. Authorities say the suspect, Jason Hubbard, broke into the Adamcewicz home on Ellenel Boulevard in Spotswood and camped out under the bed in a spare room for as many as five days. Just before 7 p.m. on May 10, police responded to a 911 for a report of an intruder in the house. Upon arrival, officers came in contact with Hubbard in the home. Police subsequently placed him under arrest for criminal trespass. "He was hiding upstairs underneath the bed, in my daughter's bedroom," Margaret Adamcewicz said. "He used to date my daughter five years ago...It didn't end well...He didn't say why he came back. He just picked our house to hide out in. He didn't have a home to live in." The daughter had in the meantime moved away, but apparently he remembered how to sneak into the daughter's bedroom. Further investigation revealed that Hubbard entered the home through an open door when one resident was taking out the garbage. After entering the house, he proceeded into the spare bedroom, where he stayed under the bed for days. He also began charging his four cell phones utilizing an electric outlet under the bed. "I haven't heard from him in five years," Margaret said. "I wasn't scared, I was just angry." Hubbard remained living under the bed in the spare bedroom until her husband heard a noise in the bedroom. When he looked under the bed, he found Hubbard and immediately called police. The couple's 28-year-old son corralled Hubbard until officers arrived. "I don't think he was eating," Margaret said. "I think he just had water under the bed." Asked what her message would be to Hubbard, she said, "To stay away from this house and never come back." At the conclusion of the investigation, Hubbard was also charged with burglary and theft of services (electric current). He was transported to Spotswood Police Headquarters, where he was processed. He was then transported to Middlesex County Adult Corrections Center in lieu of $50,000.00 bail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Cory Re: Forced updates in W10 Dear Webby, Is it true that Windows 10, due in two days for those who accidentally clicked that uninvited W10 button, will have forced updates of W10 and main apps? That sounds rather scary to me! Cory Dear Cory Yes, that is indeed the plan Microsoft has. If they discover a major OOOPS, and they are bound to with a new operating system, they will push out a fix immediately, whether you like it or not, and in Microsoft style, whether the fix works or not. Unless you are a 14 year old dweeb with half a dozen pens in your pocket protector, and have to brag about having the newest OS in your daddy's old machine, there is really no need to jump to W10 at this time. The included Edge browser is apparently better than IE, but not nearly as good as Chrome or FireFox. Almost all the other "cool" items to impress teens and brag about in highschool are already available as extensions and add-ons for W7 and W8.1, IF you actually need them. Which is very doubtful. There has not been much demand for them. Windows Media Center will be gone. Dead. Just a fond memory. Don’t upgrade to Windows 10 if you rely on and use Windows Media Center on a daily basis! There will be third party apps to take it's place probably within a few months, but initially they might be a bit buggy, especially trying to cope with frantic bug fixes of W10. The same goes for all other third party apps, that you use. Some of them might work OK with W10 initially, but die after one of the forced W10 updates. Some developers will simply give up and wait until W10.1 or until W10.? is stable enough, so that there won't be any more drastic changes. You might remember the W8 chaos, and the quick change to W8.1, and the overtime effort to bring out W10 as fast as possible, so that you might hopefully forget W8. W10 COULD be a great operating system, or it could continue the Microsoft tradition. We will know by the time a new president is elected in the US. Unless you absolutely need to jump to W10, don't rush. The free "update" is good for a year anyway, and if you buy a new computer from China, W10 will be already pre-installed. That is another reason for the forced updates. DELL and other sellers of Chinese computers have cloned the hard drives of many tens of thousands of machines with W10, as it was a few months ago. By now Microsoft may have found some really bad bugs, that need to be fixed immediately. For a year or so you will have to expect forced updates. Developers of third party apps are really worried about those forced updates, since they won't get any advance notice about involved changes. Personally, I am not going to rush into W10 and won't even consider it until year's end. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The owner of a manufacturing facility was complaining in a staff meeting one day, that he wasn't getting any respect. Next morning morning, he came in with a small sign that read, "I am the Boss!" and attached it to his office door. Later that day, when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that read, "Your wife called. She wants her sign back!" ______________________________________________________ A group of young children were siting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions. "Davy, what noise does a cow make?" "It goes moo." "Alice, what noise does a cat make?" "It goes meow." "Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?" "It goes baaa." "Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?" "Errr.., it goes.. click!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Healthy Microwave Popcorn I'd been thinking about buying a popcorn machine for the longest time after I found out just how surprising unhealthy microwaveable popcorn was. It is full of chemicals and preservatives! I had no clue. All you need for some perfect fresh popcorn is some popcorn kernels, a microwaveable bowl, a microwaveable plate that fits on top of it, and, if you so desire, a pat of butter (I prefer coconut oil). Pour your kernels into your bowl. Here, I did about 1/3 of a cup. Place your plate on top. Put a pat of butter on the plate. Microwave for about 2 1/2 minutes. You'll notice you have a bowl of popcorn and a plate with melted butter. Using oven mitts, take out the bowl and plate, tip the melted butter on to the popcorn (salt if you want), and enjoy! You will probably have some unpopped kernels. Save them for the next round! By attosa [109] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A little boy was taken to the dentist. The dentist discovered that the boy had a cavity that needed to be filled. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" The little boy replied, "Chocolate, please." ____________________________________________________
Don't Send a Man for Groceries
____________________________________________________ The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jimmy interrupted. "My Mommy looked back once while she was DRIVING," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a wrong driveway and crunched a gate!" ____________________________________________________
A husband and wife team perform a funny vaudeville-style act. I thought they were hilarious!

Today in 
1214 At the Battle of Bouvines in France, Philip Augustus 
 of France defeated John of England. 
1245 Frederick II was deposed by a council at Lyons after 
 they found him guilty of sacrilege. 
1663 The British Parliament passed a second Navigation Act, 
 which required all goods bound for the colonies be sent in 
 British ships from British ports. 
1689 Government forces defeated the Scottish Jacobites at the 
 Battle of Killiecrankie. 
1777 The marquis of Lafayette arrived in New England to help 
 the rebellious American colonists fight the British. 
1866 Cyrus Field successfully completed the Atlantic Cable. 
 It was an underwater telegraph from North America to Europe. 
1909 Orville Wright set a record for the longest airplane flight. 
 He was testing the first Army airplane and kept it in the air 
 for 1 hour 12 minutes and 40 seconds. 
1914 British troops invaded the streets of Dublin, Ireland, and 
 began to disarm Irish rebels. 
1918 The Socony 200 was launched. It was the first concrete barge 
 and was used to carry oil. 
1921 Canadian biochemist Frederick Banting and associates 
 announced the discovery of the hormone insulin. 
1940 Bugs Bunny made his official debut in the Warner Bros. 
 animated cartoon "A Wild Hare." 
1944 U.S. troops completed the liberation of Guam. 
1953 The armistice agreement that ended the Korean War was 
 signed at Panmunjon, Korea. 
1955 The Allied occupation of Austria ended.
 I remember that! Rationing ended and I got my first Hot Dog.
1964 U.S. President Lyndon Johnson sent an additional 5,000 
 advisers to South Vietnam. 
1965 In the U.S., the Federal Cigarette Labeling and 
 Advertising Act was signed into law. The law required health 
 warnings on all cigarette packages. 
1967 U.S. President Johnson appointed the Kerner Commission 
 to assess the causes of the violence in the wake of urban rioting. 
1974 The U.S. Congress asked for impeachment procedures against 
 President Richard Nixon. 
1980 The deposed shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, died in a 
 hospital near Cairo, Egypt. 
1993 IBM's new chairman, Louis V. Gerstner, Jr., announced an 
 $8.9 billion plan to cut the company's costs. 
1999 The U.S. space shuttle Discovery completed a five-day mission 
commanded by Air Force Col. Eileen Collins. It was the first 
 shuttle mission to be commanded by a woman. 
2003 It was reported by the BBC (British Broadcasting Corp.) that 
 there was no monster in Loch Ness. The investigation used 600 
 separate sonar beams and satellite navigation technology to trawl 
 the loch. Reports of sightings of the "Loch Ness Monster" began 
 in the 6th century. 
2006 Intel Corp introduced its Core 2 Duo microprocessors.
2015  smiled.


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Gas at Costco 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, July 23

Today I have to go to Calgary for injections into my 
eyeballs. That means nothing,including my newsletter, 
will be sent out for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

>From Unk Wes
One thing I only recently found out about the Costco AM 
Card is that it will give you 3% back on gas no matter 
where the gas is purchased !
Unk Wes



Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Big S.C. jackass, who struck little waitress after she asked him to stop using racial slurs Details at Boneheads Today in 1829 - William Burt patented the typographer, which was the first typewriter. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. --- National Lampoon The future will be better tomorrow. --- Dan Quayle (1947 - ) The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. --- Socrates ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man was invited for dinner at a friends house. Every time the host needed something, he precede his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "that's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." "Well, to tell you the real truth," the host whispered, " I've forgotten her name." ______________________________________________________ The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall, and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. "Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed. Joseph said, "Write that down, Mary; that's a LOT better than Melvin Clyde!" ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for having used a picture, that had been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that some day somebody will demand payment, AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. Hopefully none of those have been uploaded for entrapment purposes. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dustin Lowery, 23, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Big jackass struck little waitress after she asked him to stop using racial slurs A hulking restaurant patron who told South Carolina cops that he “had been joking with an African American family and calling them racial slurs” was arrested Saturday night after allegedly assaulting a female waitress who asked him to leave the eatery due to his behavior. According to police, Dustin Lowery, 23, struck waitress Megan Churchill in the face during the incident at Shuckers, a raw bar in Myrtle Beach. The 260-pound, 6’ 4” Lowery, seen above, was charged with misdemeanor battery. Churchill told police that Lowery and his family “were causing a disturbance and using racial slurs towards another family.” Churchill said the diatribe was “so bad” that the other family left the restaurant. The 23-year-old waitress added that Lowery slapped her in the face when he was asked to leave Shuckers. When questioned by police, Lowery--who smelled strongly of booze--said that he had been jokingly directing racial slurs at the other family, claiming that while “he did not know the family...he didn’t believe they minded” being denigrated. Lowery, who works for a construction firm, claimed that he only struck Churchill after she hit him. Lowery, cops noted, outweighs Churchill by 120 pounds and is 13 inches taller than her. A witness corroborated Churchill’s account of the encounter, saying that the diner “tried to leave without paying and was cursing and using racial slurs.”
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Unc Wes Re: Gas from Costco Dear Webby, One thing I only recently found out about the Costco AM Card is that it will give you 3% back on gas no matter where the gas is purchased ! Unk Wes Dear Unk Wes That is an excellent deal, even better than what we get in Canada. We get only 2% back. The best deal, though, is to get the gas from the fast Self Serve pumps at Costco, where the gas prices are usually 10% less than downtown. Plus get 2%, or 3% in the US back. It is rare these days to get such a good deal. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Two guys were at a bar talking about how highly their wives thought of them. The first guy said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won't let me do any work around the house. It's incredible." The second guy says, "That's nothing. My wife thinks I'm God." "She thinks you're God? What makes you say that?" "Easy. Every night she places a burnt offering before me." _____________________________________________________ Old man Johnson limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doc, my knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!" The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, "Mr. Johnson, just how old are you?" "98!" Johnson announced proudly. The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again. . . Finally he said, "Sir, I'm sorry. I mean, just look at you. You're practically one hundred years old, and you're complaining that your knee hurts? Well, what did you expect?" The old man said, "Well, my other knee is 98 years old too, and it don't hurt!" ______________________________________________________ A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept talking about chickens being great creatures, and as such they had the right to go where they wanted. The man was having no luck keeping the chickens out of his flower beds, and he had tried everything. Two weeks later, on a visit a friend noticed his flower beds were doing great. The flowers were beginning to bloom. So the friend asked him how he managed to keep the neighbors chickens away. "How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?" "One night I hid half a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed, and the next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. He built an 8 foot tall chainlink fence and I wasn't bothered by his chickens after that." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Unsalted Butter I like the taste of salted butter, but it recently occurred to me that a lot of the things that I have with it - peanut butter, cheese, yeast extract - contain a fair amount of salt themselves. So I experimented with spreading bread or toast with unsalted butter when using these fillings, and found that I didn't miss the salt. In fact, unsalted butter tastes better with peanut butter than salted - its slight sweetness is a good complement. By Verity Pink [32] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A new hair salon opened up for business right across the street from the old established hair cutters' place. They put up a big bold sign which read: "WE GIVE SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS!" Not to be outdone, the old Master Barber put up his own sign: "WE FIX SEVEN DOLLAR HAIR CUTS" ____________________________________________________
Paper is not dead
____________________________________________________ Our seven-year-old daughter was thrilled when we took her to Disney World for the first time, and she headed straight for Space Mountain. I worried that the roller coaster would be too scary for her, but she insisted. To her delight, we rode it twice. The next year we returned to the Magic Kingdom, and my daughter, now eight, again dragged me to Space Mountain. As we stood in line, though, I could see her soberly studying the signs that warn about the ride's speed. "Dad," she said, "I don't think I want to go." I asked her why she would be nervous when she had enjoyed herself last time. She replied, "This year, I can read." ____________________________________________________
A husband and wife team perform a funny vaudeville-style act. I thought they were hilarious!

Today in 
1715 - The first lighthouse in America was authorized for 
 construction at Little Brewster Island, Massachusetts. 
1827 - The first swimming school in the U.S. opened in 
 Boston, MA. 
1829 - William Burt patented the typographer, which was the 
 first typewriter. 
1886 - Steve Brodie, a New York saloonkeeper, claimed to 
 have made a daredevil plunge from the Brooklyn Bridge into 
 the East River. 
1904 - The ice cream cone was invented by Charles E. Menches 
 during the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis, MO. 
1914 - Austria-Hungary issued an ultimatum to Serbia following 
 the killing of Archduke Francis Ferdinand by a Serb assassin. 
 England sided with the Serbs and started World War I. 
1945 - The first passenger train observation car was placed 
 in service by the Chicago, Burlington and Quincy Railroad. 
1952 - Egyptian military officers led by Gamal Abdel Nasser 
 overthrew King Farouk I. 
1958 - The submarine Nautilus departed from Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, 
 under orders to conduct "Operation Sunshine." The mission 
 was to be the first vessel to cross the north pole by ship. 
 The Nautils achieved the goal on August 3, 1958. 
1962 - The "Telstar" communications satellite sent the first 
 live TV broadcast to Europe. 
1972 - Eddie Merckx of Belgium won his fourth consecutive 
 Tour de France bicycling competition. 
1972 - The U.S. launched Landsat 1 (ERTS-1). It was the first 
 Earth-resources satellite. 
1984 - Miss America, Vanessa Williams, turned in her crown 
 after it had been discovered that nude photos of her had 
 appeared in "Penthouse" magazine. She was the first to 
 resign the title. 
1985 - Commodore unveiled the personal computer Amiga 1000. 
1986 - Britain's Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson at 
 Westminster Abbey in London. They divorced in 1996. 
1998 - U.S. scientists at the University of Hawaii turned 
 out more than 50 "carbon-copy" mice, with a cloning 
 technique. 
2000 - Lance Armstrong won his second Tour de France. 
2015  smiled.


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Is Costco a good deal? 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, July 22

Tomorrow, Thursday, July 23, I have to go to Calgary for
injections into my eyeballs. That means nothing,including
my newsletter, will be sent out for Friday, Saturday and 
Sunday.


One of the computer magazines had a headline:
"A tribute to Windows 8: If it hadn't been so bad, 
Windows 10 wouldn't be almost ready yet."
Windows 10.2, SP2 in 2020 is supposedly going to be 
awesome. Take your time. I am too busy working to 
have time for that anyway.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Maryland dog watcher, who demanded sex from owner Details at Boneheads Today in 1376 The legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin leading rats out of town is said to have occurred on this date. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good. It would be the end of everything we know. --- Marvin Minsky ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Bambi, a young lady sidled up to a guest at the party. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said diffidently, "Doctor, may I ask a question?" "Certainly," he said. "Lately," said Bambi, "I have been having a funny pain right here over my heart..." The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Bambi, but the truth is, I'm a doctor of philosophy." "Oh," said Bambi, "I'm sorry!" She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back. "Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is philosophy?" ______________________________________________________ An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution, "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. Then I suggested that she try carrying several things at once." The voice from the back asked, "Did it save time?" The expert replied, "Actually, yes. It used to take her twenty minutes to get breakfast ready. Now, I do it in seven." ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for having used a picture, that had been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that some day somebody will demand payment, AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. Hopefully none of those have been uploaded for entrapment purposes. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Edward Lewis Thompson, 23, Frederick, Maryland
Maryland dog watcher, who demanded sex from owner A Maryland man is accused of demanding sexual favors as payment for watching a woman's dog while she stepped inside a business. Edward Lewis Thompson, 23, was indicted July 10 on charges of an attempted second-degree sex offense and second-degree assault, according to WUSA9.com. On June 11, Thompson allegedly agreed to watch a pit bull for a woman who needed to go inside a local business in Frederick. The woman told police that when she left the building Thompson asked her for “sexual favors in return for watching her dog,” according to the Washington Post. The woman said the suspect followed her to an alley, grabbed her and again demanded sexual favors. The victim's dog jumped to her aid and scared away the suspect, allowing her to escape and contact police. Frederick police identified Thompson after several interviews and watching video surveillance. Thompson was arrested for the assault charge on June 24 and indicted for the sex offense charge on July 10, an official told The Huffington Post. Good Doggie!
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Freeda Re: Costco Dear Webby, You have mentioned Costco quite favorably a number of times. My neighbor has no good word about them. What's the story? Freeda Dear Freeda I used to be annoyed at them, because at that time they accepted only American Express, and I wanted to get air miles with my VISA. Well, that was a long time ago. Then I had a heart attack and needed meds on the way home from the Rockyviw hospital, where they had totally misdiagnosed me. Well, Costco was the only pharmacy still open that late. So I got my prescription there. I didn't have COPD and pneumonia and this and that and the other thing, so the next day I staggered up to the local hospital, where a kindly old country doc told me that I didn't have any of that stuff, that I was just a walking dead with a heart attack, and that they could fix that. They did, and gave me a new prescription list. This time I phoned the pharmacy down the street, and Costco, for prices. Costco was half price. So I got a Costco membership card. You don't really need one for just medication, but they had all kinds of really good deals. In addition to that, they usually have about a dozen ladies in there giving you samples, pizza, pickled asperagus, chicken nuggets, potato salad, fruit salad, and on and on and on. By the time I have hiked through the store, I am filled up with all kinds of delicacies. AND, most of them are on jaw-dropping introductory sales. I also found out that they quite cheerfully take cash. So I budget myself according to how much cash I want to spend. At the tills they pack your stuff into boxes and put them into a cart. They don't wheel it out to your vehicle, but that is no big deal. It's all smooth pavement. In Canada Costco and AMEX have split their sheets and Costco now accepts Mastercard. They even have their own, where you get 2% back. I didn't think they would give one to me, considering how badly indebted I am, but they approved one right in the store and printed one out to use until a plastic one arrived in the mail. I just use it at the self-serve gas pumps. Fuel is also by far the cheapest at Costco. For members only. That alone is worth the $50 annual membership fee. If you commute or drive a lot, the membership will be paid for in a week, two at most. After that it's clear profit. Another HUGE advantage is their warranty. It is totally the opposite from Walmart, where returning anything is a major hassle. At Costco they ask what the problem was, and they don't argue one bit. Their second question is whether you want cash or have the amount put on your credit card. Done with a smile. Huh? Yep, here is the cash, Sir. Also, unlike Walmart, the employees are not hiding, but hike around and if I look lost or confused, some kind lady flirts at me and guides me to where the stuff is, that I had been looking for. I can highly recommend Costco and I am kicking myself, that I was so boneheaded about the credit cards 15 years ago! Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A friend and I were driving to the mall when we came to a bridge under construction. The road narrowed to one lane, with a red light at either end. We stopped at the red light on our side and when it turned green we started up again. Halfway through we met another car coming towards us. The driver leaned out his window and shouted, "I don't back up for idiots!" Putting his car into reverse, my friend called back, "No problem. I know how to do that." _____________________________________________________ "Sir," she inquired, "Why doesn't this cow have any horns?" The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, "Well, ma'am, cattle can do a powerful lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep'em trimmed down with a hacksaw. However there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the reason this here cow don't have no horns, ma'am, is 'cause it's a horse." ______________________________________________________ If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough If OUGH can stand for O as in Dough If PHTH can stand for T as in Phthisis If EIGH can stand for A as in Neighbor If TTE can stand for T as in Gazette If EAU can stand for O as in Plateau Then the right way to spell POTATO should be: "GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Clove for Toothache Take a clove and let it sit in your mouth for a minute or until soft, then apply over the painful area until the pain goes away. By Katie M. [9] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The temporary Sunday School teacher was struggling to open a combination lock on the supply cabinet. She had been told the combination, but couldn't quite remember it. Finally she went to the pastor's study and asked for help. The pastor came into the room and began to turn the dial. After the first two numbers he paused and stared blankly for a moment. Finally he looked serenely heavenward and his lips moved silently. Then he looked back at the lock, and quickly turned to the final number, and opened the lock. The teacher was amazed. "I'm in awe at your faith, pastor," she said. "It's really nothing," he answered. "The number is on a piece of tape on the ceiling." ____________________________________________________
Helium Beer
____________________________________________________ "I just hope it's not Alzheimer's," confessed the gentleman to his doctor. "Maybe there's some kind of memory medicine you can give me. See, I'm getting terribly forgetful; I lose track of where I'm going or what I'm supposed to do when I get there. What should I do?" he asked glumly. "Pay me in advance," the doctor promptly suggested. ____________________________________________________
How do they do that!

Today in 
1376 The legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin leading rats 
 out of town is said to have occurred on this date. 
1587 A second English colony was established on Roanoke 
 Island off North Carolina. The colony vanished under 
 mysterious circumstances. 
1796 Cleveland was founded by General Moses Cleaveland. 
1798 The USS Constitution was underway and out to sea 
 for the first time since being launched on October 21, 1797 
1812 English troops under the Duke of Wellington defeated 
 the French at the Battle of Salamanca in Spain. 
1933 Wiley Post ended his around-the-world flight. He had 
 traveled 15,596 miles in 7 days, 18 hours and 45 minutes. 
1943 American forces led by General George S. Patton captured 
 Palermo, Sicily. 
1975 Confederate General Robert E. Lee had his U.S. citizenship 
 restored by the U.S. Congress. 
1987 The U.S. began its policy of escorting re-flagged Kuwaiti 
 tankers up and down the Persian Gulf to protect them from 
 possible attack by Iran. 
1998 Iran tested medium-range missile, capable of reaching 
 Israel or Saudi Arabia. 
2000 Astronomers at the University of Arizona announced that 
 they had found a 17th moon orbiting Jupiter. 
2003 In northern Iraq, Saddam Hussein's sons Odai and Qusai 
 died after a gunfight with U.S. forces. 
2003 In Paris, France, a fire broke out near the top of the 
 Eiffel Tower. About 4,000 visitors were evacuated and no 
 injuries were reported. 
2009 The longest total solar eclipse of the 21st century, 
 lasting up to 6 minutes and 38.8 seconds, occurred over 
 parts of Asia and the Pacific Ocean. 
2011 Space Shuttle Atlantis landed successfully at Kennedy 
 Space Center after completing STS-135. It was the final 
 flight of NASA's space shuttle program.
2015  smiled.


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Magnifying icons 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, July 21

On Thursday, July 23, I have to go to Calgary for
injections into my eyeballs. That means nothing,including
my newsletter, will be sent out for Friday, Saturday and 
Sunday.



The frantic search by the CIA in Jordan to find a cab driver,
who might have influenced the Chatanooga killer, remind me of
the drunk, who was looking for his key under a street light,
because it was too dark where he dropped it over where his 
car was.

If Abdulazeez had been planning for that long, he would 
have chosen different target locations and killed a lot 
more people. Even the idiotic KKK reject kid in Charleston 
killed more people.

And he most definitely would not have gotten drunk and 
dopey.
That is expressly forbidden in Islam. No ISIS fanatics
would ever even think of doing that. Ever!
DUH!

Most likely, after he was caught on his DIU and was facing 
court, he flipped as the court date got close.
He suddenly remembered his Islamic roots and how his
drinking and dope smoking clashed with that.
 
He realized, that the only way to clear the shame
off his and his family's name was to become a martyr.
So he rented a car, loaded his guns and without any real
planning, went off to become a martyr.

We should be grateful he did not get radicalized in Jordan 
or anywhere. Otherwise he could easily have killed hundreds.
That incident was simply "Chickenshit Suicide By Cop" of a 
religious fanatic. 

No need to hassle cab drivers in Jordan.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Hulking Florida man, who was arrested after he urinated on his pregnant girlfriend Details at Boneheads Today in 1925 The "Monkey Trial" ended in Dayton, TN. John T. Scopes was convicted and fined $100 for violating the state prohibition on teaching Darwin's theory of evolution. The conviction was later overturned on a legal technicality because the judge had set the fine instead of the jury. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. --- Alfred Adler (1870 - 1937) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The famous monkey trial today in 1925 reminded me of this: came home from school and mentioned evolution. Dad hit the roof and started screaming that evolution was nonsense. "You migt have descended from an ape!" he yelled, "But I sure didn't!" ______________________________________________________ A small boy was asked by his teacher, "What is the size of the Government?" "About 5 feet 2 inches," he replied promptly. "No, no, no," said the teacher. "I mean, how many members does the Government have? How did you get 5 feet 2 inches anyway?" "Well," replied the boy, "my father is 6 feet tall and every night he puts his hand to his chin and says, "I have had it up to HERE with the Government!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture Clicks through to the big picture Juanita K. Hammons Hall ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christian Betts 26, St. Petersburg, Florida
Hulking Florida man was arrested after he urinated on his pregnant girlfriend A hulking McDonald’s employee was arrested yesterday after allegedly urinating on his pregnant girlfriend during an argument in their Florida home. Christian Betts, 26, is locked up on a felony aggravated battery count following his bust by St. Petersburg cops. According to police, the 400-pound, 6’ 8” Betts was arguing with the victim--who is five months pregnant--when he “aimed his penis at her and urinated on her.” Betts then shoved the woman and left their apartment after gathering up some of his belongings. A criminal complaint does not disclose where in the couple's apartment the incident occurred. Seen in the above mug shot, Betts is scheduled this afternoon for a Circuit Court hearing during which a judge could set bail. Betts was released from jail late last night after posting $5000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Maggi Re: Magnifier Dear Webby, Hello, first of all, I thoroughly enjoy your web site. Now the question. I live in a nursing home and across the hall from me is a young lady with MS. I have been trying to help her use her computer which is a nice, new touchscreen Samsung laptop. She has a voice program which works well. The problem is her eyesight. She can't differentiate the icons and can't see the web sites or apps when voice opens them. Is there a program that magnifies the entire screen? It would be wonderful for her to be able to see good enough to enjoy her computer. Thanks for anything help you can offer even if it's a no. Maggi Dear Maggi Have you ever noticed the cutesy little picture I painted in the 90's showing a mouse and a curved arrow over the scroll wheel? Its at the top left of the side menu. That trick, holding down CTRL (or SGRG in Europe) and turning the scroll wheel will work on almost anything. Click on the desktop, and try that. The icons zoom larger if you turn the scroll wheel away from you, or smaller, when you turn it towards you. The same also works in the Humor letter. It zooms not just the fonts but also the pictures. Thry the Hunger Site from the links on the side menu. Many programs also respect that command, for example Open office Write and Calc, and all web sites, that you visit with modern browserrs. The problem with magnification is that you loose the overview. In the long run she will need a large monitor. Check out what 32, 36 or 48 inch monitors cost at your local Costco. They are surprisngly cheap, and they deliver. She might have the money for one, or might be able to get a relative to donate the money. If necessary, check out GoFundMe.com. She might be able to raise enough money in a day. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates, Angus McInnes asked the boy how much his last date had cost. The son calculated a minute then replied, "Oh, about $15 or so I think." "Well," said the Father, "I'm proud of you for finally coming up with an inexpensive evening." "To be honest Dad," the son went on, "we'd have spent more, but that was all the money she had." ______________________________________________________ "Watch out," the wife cautioned her husband, who was driving. "Don't you see that car is braking?" Then she snapped, "Don't pass that truck - his tire is wobbling." The husband turned on his CB and informed the trucker about his loose wheel. The wife, in a nasty mood because of a headache, was irritated by the incessant squealing of the CB. "Why do you always get so much static?" she asked. "Because," her long-suffering husband replied, "I'm married." ______________________________________________________ I noticed the neighbor down the street was sitting on his porch all day every every day, so after a few weeks I asked him what was going on. He replied, "I left my job because of illness and fatigue." A few weeks later, his wife gave me the real truth of what happened. Turns out his boss got sick and tired of him. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cake Mix Banana Bread A great way to use up over ripe bananas. Very quick to make. Yield: 2 loaves Ingredients: 1 box yellow cake mix 3 eggs 1/3 cup oil 3-5 mashed bananas (I used 3 very ripe bananas) 1 cup chopped pecans Optional: you could add raisins, craisins or chocolate chips, too. Steps: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour 2 loaf pans. Add the ingredients in the order listed. Add eggs one at a time. Blend well. Pour into the two loaf pans. Bake 30-35 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Remove from oven and place on a wire rack for 10 minutes before taking out of the pan. Cool completely on the wire rack. Source: Duncan Hines Website By Judy Pariser S. [17] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ For the second time in a row, Jill was forced to impose on the woman with whom she carpooled to her children's soccer practices. Jill phoned and explained that her husband had the car again, so she wouldn't be able to take her turn. A few minutes before she was due to pick up her son, her husband showed up. Since it was too late for her to call and say she could drive after all, Jill asked her husband to hide the car in the garage and to stay inside. She also explained to her son that he shouldn't mention anything about his father's whereabouts. Unfortunately, her husband forgot and was in front of the house chatting with a friend when her carpool partner arrived. When her son returned from practice, Jill asked him if she had noticed. "Yes," he replied, "she asked me which of the two men in front of the house was my father. But don't worry. I told her I didn't really know for sure." ____________________________________________________
Funny Ballet
____________________________________________________ A patient was waiting nervously in the examination room of a famous specialist. "So who did you see before coming to me?" asked the doctor. "My local General Practitioner." "Your GP?" scoffed the doctor. "What a waste of time. Tell me, what sort of dumb and useless advice did he give you?" "He told me to come and see you." ____________________________________________________
Hang on.... just 4 more days until Friday.

Today in 
1831 Belgium became independent as Leopold I was proclaimed 
 King of the Belgians. 
1861 The first major battle of the U.S. Civil War began. It was 
 the Battle of Bull Run at Manassas Junction, VA. 
 The Confederates won the battle. 
1925 The "Monkey Trial" ended in Dayton, TN. John T. Scopes 
 was convicted and fined $100 for violating the state prohibition 
 on teaching Darwin's theory of evolution. The conviction was 
 later overturned on a legal technicality because the judge had 
 set the fine instead of the jury. 
1940 Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia were annexed by the 
 Soviet Union. 
1944 American forces landed on Guam during World War II. 
1954 The Geneva Conference partitioned Vietnam into North Vietnam 
 and South Vietnam. 
1958 The last of "Arthur Godfrey’s Talent Scouts" programs 
 aired on CBS-TV. 
1959 A U.S. District Court judge in New York City ruled that 
 "Lady Chatterley’s Lover" was not a dirty book. 
1961 Captain Virgil "Gus" Grissom became the second American 
 to rocket into a sub-orbital pattern around the Earth. He 
 was flying on the Liberty Bell 7. 
1968 Arnold Palmer became the first golfer to make a million 
 dollars in career earnings after he tied for second place 
 at the PGA Championship. 
1980 Draft registration began in the United States for 
 19 and 20-year-old men. 
1997 The U.S.S. Constitution, which defended the United States 
 during the War of 1812, set sail under its own power for 
 the first time in 116 years. 
2002 WorldCom Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. 
 At the time it was the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history. 
2004 White House officials were briefed on the September 11 
 commission's final report. The 575-page report concluded 
 that hijackers exploited "deep institutional failings 
 within our government." The report was released to the 
 public the next day. 
2007 The seventh and last book of the Harry Potter series, 
 "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," was released. 
2011 Space Shuttle Atlantis landed at Kennedy Space Center in
 Florida. It was the last flight of NASA's space shuttle program. 
2015  smiled.


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Automatic save on power failure 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, July 20

On Thursday, July 23, I have to go to Calgary for
injections into my eyeballs. That means nothing,including
my newsletter, will be sent out for Friday, Saturday and 
Sunday.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man, who was arested at Disney for Dine and Dash for the 6th time Details at Boneheads Today in 1969 Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin E. Aldrin, Jr. became the first men to walk on the moon. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. --- Dave Barry (1947 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A young executive is leaving the office one evening when he comes across the company president standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in hand. "Listen," says the president, "this is important, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," says the young executive. He turns the machine on, and steps back. "Excellent, excellent," says the president as he shoves his stack of papers into the slot. "I need just one copy." ______________________________________________________ Three preachers sat discussing the best positions for prayer while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is definitely best," claimed one. "No," another contended. "I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven." "You're both wrong," the third insisted. "The most effective prayer position is lying prostrate, face down on the floor." The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey, fellas, " he interrupted, "the most powerful prayin' I ever did was while hangin' upside down from a power pole during a lightning storm." ______________________________________________________ >From Dad Clicks through to the big picture Tough Rose! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jerry Moody, 51, Orlando, Florida
Florida man was arested at Disney for Dine and Dash for the 6th time Authorities say a man has made Walt Disney World his happiest place on Earth for dining and dashing. Fifty-one-year-old Jerry Moody was arrested Tuesday after the manager of a lounge at Disney's Contemporary Resort says he racked up a $92 bar tab and tried to leave without paying. The Orlando Sentinel says that according to an arrest report, a waitress recognized him as fitting the description of a man who tried to do the same thing at another lounge the previous night. Both lounges are on Disney property but not inside the theme park. Many Disney restaurants and lounges don't require admission fees. Police say Moody acknowledged that he shouldn't be at the resort but told detectives he likes to go to Disney World. Reports show Moody's been arrested on Disney properties five times. He's being held on a $5,100 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Allene Re: Automatic save on power failure Dear Webby, Does my computer automatically save everything if it shuts down due to a power failure? If not, is there a program that will do that? Thanks Allene Dear Allene No, there isn't. Even with laptops, that will keep on running in the dark until their battery runs down, there is no automatic save. It is up to you to either save manually, or tell the programs, that you use, to auto-save every so often. I have set Write and Calc in Open Office to save every five minutes automatically. No matter what happens, there is a safety copy, that is less than five minutes old. You can probably do the same with most other programs too. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A pastor was preaching an impassioned sermon on the evils of television. "It steals away precious time that could be better spent on other things," he said. He advised the congregation to do what he and his family had done. "We put our TV away in the closet." "That's right," his wife quipped, "but it sure gets awfully crowded in there!" ______________________________________________________ An expectant mother was being rushed to the hospital, but didn't quite make it. Assisted by the cab driver, she gave birth to her baby on the hospital lawn. Later, the father received a bill, listing "Delivery Room Fee: $500." He wrote the hospital and reminded them the baby was born on the front lawn. A week passed, and a corrected bill arrived: "Greens Fee: $200." ______________________________________________________ The young couple invited their aged parson for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied. "Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?" "Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Pa say to Ma, 'Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Fruits and Vegetables in a Cool Place Years ago when our family started getting larger, we needed more refrigeration space so I purchased a small dorm type refrigerator without a freezer compartment. It was great for keeping soft drinks and other items cold. When not needed, I cut the temperature down low just to keep it running. I soon discovered that with the temperature at 50-55 degrees F, this refrigerator was great for keeping potatoes, tomatoes, apples, blueberries, onions and even bananas longer. The banana skins do not turn black either. I didn't realize how much difference it did make until I lent it to a friend for 3 weeks while he was having refrigeration problems. Now when family comes home, I don't give up my small refrigerator for keeping extra food in. It's full of fruits and vegetables that taste much better when not kept at real cold temperatures. By Litter Gitter [124] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ From Lindsey Hi Webby, a few years ago you had a joke about a druggist with all kinds of bad luck and a short temper on the phone. Can you please find it and run it again? Lindsey Sure, Lindsay, I remember that one. It's rather long, but priceless: Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the Pharmacist, he insulted me terribly this morning on the telephone." Immediately the husband drove downtown to the pharmacy to demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the pharmacist told him, "Now, just a minute - listen to my side of it." "This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I hurried out to the car, but I'll be damned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys. Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire. When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting in line. One little old lady thought I ws trying to get ahead of her in the line and smashed my glasses with her umbrella. I finally got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off. Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels, the phone is still ringing - when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke. The phone is still ringing with no let up, and so, while I was sitting on the floor in a puddle of perfume and broken glass , I answered it. It was your wife - she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. Well, Mister, I TOLD HER!" ____________________________________________________
Toilet Office prank
____________________________________________________ A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use, on the average, only 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day. She thought about this for a while and then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say. He said, "What?" ____________________________________________________
Emily Kinch performs “The Chandelier” at “The World’s Greatest Cabaret.”

Today in 
1801 A 1,235 pound cheese ball was pressed at the farm of 
 Elisha Brown, Jr. The ball of cheese was later loaded on 
 a horse-pulled wagon and presented to U.S. President 
 Thomas Jefferson at the White House. 
1810 Colombia declared independence from Spain. 
1868 Legislation that ordered U.S. tax stamps to be placed 
 on all cigarette packs was passed. 
1871 British Columbia joined Confederation as a Canadian 
 province. 
1881 Sioux Indian leader Sitting Bull, a fugitive since 
 the Battle of the Little Big Horn, surrendered to federal 
 troops. (Montana) 
1917 The draft lottery in World War I went into operation. 
1942 The first detachment of the Women's Army Auxiliary Corps, 
 (WACS) began basic training at Fort Des Moines, Iowa. 
1944 An attempt by a group of German officials to assassinate 
 Adolf Hitler failed. The bomb exploded at Hitler's Rastenburg 
 headquarters. Hitler was only wounded. 
1944 U.S. President Roosevelt was nominated for an unprecedented 
 fourth term of office at the Democratic National Convention 
 in Chicago. 
1969 Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin E. Aldrin, Jr. 
became the first men to walk on the moon. 
1974 Turkish forces invaded Cyprus. 
1976 America's Viking I robot spacecraft made a successful 
 landing on Mars. 
1982 U.S. President Ronald Reagan pulled the U.S. out of 
 comprehensive test ban negotiations indefinitely. 
1985 Treasure hunters began raising $400 million in coins 
 and silver from the Spanish galleon "Nuestra Senora de 
 Atocha." The ship sank in 1622 40 miles of the coast of 
 Key West, FL. 
1992 Vaclav Havel, the playwright who led the Velvet 
 Revolution against communism, stepped down as president 
 of Czechoslovakia. 
1998 Russia won a $11.2 billion loan from the International 
 Monetary Fund to help avert the devaluation of its currency. 
2003 In India, elephants used for commercial work began 
 wearing reflectors to avoid being hit by cars during 
 night work.
2015  smiled.


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Which mouse lasts longer? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, July 19

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Knife-Wielding Michigan Intruder, who told victim: 'you're going to smoke some weed with me right now!' Details at Boneheads Today in 1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca Fall, NY. Bloomers were introduced at the convention. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ There are more fools in the world than there are people. --- Heinrich Heine (1797 - 1856) A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B. --- "Fats" Domino "If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?" --- Will Rogers (1879-1935) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed. "I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.'" "Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, 'Get behind me, Satan!'" "I did," replied his wife, "but then he said, 'It looks great from this angle, too.'" ______________________________________________________ Nita's therapist told her the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what she starts. So far today, she has finished 2 bags of chips and a Chocolate cake. She must be feeling better already because her tech support requests slowed down. ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Seth Lewis, 36, Cadillac, Michigan
Knife-Wielding Michigan Intruder Told Victim: 'You're Going To Smoke Some Weed With Me Right Now!' A man in Cadillac, Michigan, had a shocking wake-up call early Wednesday when a knife-wielding intruder insisted they get high together, police say. The unidentified man was sleeping on his couch around 2:30 a.m. when another man woke him up and allegedly said, "You're going to smoke some weed with me right now," according to Fox 17 news. Cadillac Police Detective Lt. Todd Golnick told The Huffington Post that the intruder was holding a 7-inch blade. According to police, the victim managed the stall the forced pot-smoking until the attacker put the knife down. At that point, the victim grabbed the weapon and ran to the next home, where he banged on the door. Golnick said the neighbor, unaware of what happened next door and fearing his own home was being invaded, called 911. Police were then dispatched to the scene. "It's a little bit confusing, but the officers saw a man carrying a knife walking towards them and thought it was the invader," Golnick said. "But it was the victim, and he quickly explained what had happened in his own house." Fox 17 reports that officers found the alleged intruder behind the victim's residence, where he had fallen down a steep hill. Golnick said Seth Lewis, 36, has been taken into custody as a suspect in the case. Lewis was taken to the Wexford County Jail and booked on charges of home invasion, resisting and obstructing police, as well as violating probation. Along with the knife, police found a marijuana pipe, Golnick told HuffPost. Golnick said it appears the two men were neighbors, but did not know one another. He told the Cadillac News that break-ins where an intruder is intoxicated or just looking for a place to sleep happen a few times a year, but that this one was extreme. "This was different because he was armed and engaged the first person he saw with an extremely bizarre request," he told the paper. "This was extremely random, and we don’t know what was really going on with this guy. He hasn’t cooperated to let us know what his intent really was.”
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lorry Re: Lasting mouse Dear Webby, Which mouse lasts the longest before it needs a new battery? I am going on a drive to relatives in the country and don't want to worry about batteries. Is it OK to charge my laptop from their little gasoline powered generator, or is there a better way? Dear Lorry A Logitech wireless mouse is good for about a year. If you put a couple neww batteries in before you leave, you shouldn't have to worry. For the laptop, yes, a gas generator works OK, as long as it can keep it's rated speed. A better method is to use a Statpower DC > AC inverter, that you plug into the cigarette lighter in a vehicle or connect to a vehicle battery. If your relatives live way out in the country, off the electrical grid, then they probably have a few Solar panels for lights and just use the generator for power tools. If they have Solar panels, then they will have a bank of 12 Volt batteries. You can connect your StatPower inverter to those and the laptop into that. The Statpower produces clean 110 Volt AC, cleaner than you get off the grid at home. I have done that for many years in the Yukon. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat. I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office." The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, lady," he said, "but I think it's too late!" ______________________________________________________ Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked as they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, Daddy liked it too." exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, "You should have seen him when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1 !" ______________________________________________________ "Ode to the Spell Checker!" Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the error rite Its rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it I am shore your pleased two no Its letter perfect awl the weigh My chequer tolled me sew. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Rain-X to Remove Ink from Dryer Use Rain-X X-treme Clean for baked on ink. Put some on a dry cloth and rub for 10 seconds. It removes it easily and without damage to the dryer surface. Clean after with a wet cloth. Soft Scrub may work too, but may be overly abrasive. You can remove the dryer door for easier access. By mokalabs [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ >From Bobby in Tennessee: If English was good enough for Jesus Christ and King James, then it's good enough for me. Statistics show that teen age pregnancy drops off significantly after age 25. The Ark was not metric, and neither are two-by-fours. America is a free country and we are going to keep using Imperial measurements whether the rest of the world likes it or not. ____________________________________________________
405 Airline
____________________________________________________ "A Woman's Dream" A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when a tall, exceptionally handsome and extremely sexy young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him. The young man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward them. Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude for staring, the young man said to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100, on one condition." Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The young man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The woman considered his proposition for a moment, withdrew from her purse and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which she gladly pressed into the young man's hand. She looked deeply into his eyes and slowly and meaningfully said... "Clean my house." ____________________________________________________
Sand art that must be sad because some in the audience are crying.

Today in 
1525 The Catholic princes of Germany formed the Dessau 
 League to fight against the Reformation. 
1553 Fifteen-year-old Lady Jane Grey was deposed as 
 Queen of England after claiming the crown for nine days. 
 Mary, the daughter of King Henry VIII, was proclaimed 
 Queen. 
1799 The Rosetta Stone, a tablet with hieroglyphic 
 translations into Greek, was found in Egypt. 
1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca 
 Fall, NY. Bloomers were introduced at the convention. 
1870 France declared war on Prussia. 
1939 Dr. Roy P. Scholz became the first surgeon to use 
 fiberglass sutures. 
1942 German U-boats were withdrawn from positions off the 
 U.S. Atlantic coast due to effective American 
 anti-submarine countermeasures. 
1943 During World War II, more than 150 B-17 and 112 B-24 
 bombers attacked Rome for the first time. 
1946 Marilyn Monroe acted in her first screen test. 
1975 The Apollo and Soyuz spacecrafts separated after being 
 linked in orbit for two days. 
1979 In Nicaragua, the dictatorship of the Somozas was 
 overthrown by the Sandinista National Liberation Front 
1982 The U.S. Census Bureau reported that 14% of the 
 population had an income below the official poverty level.
1985 George Bell won first place in a biggest feet contest 
 with a shoe size of 28-1/2. Bell, at age 26, stood 
 7 feet 10 inches tall. 
1985 Christa McAuliffe of New Hampshire was chosen to be 
 the first schoolteacher to ride aboard the space shuttle. She 
 died with six others when the Challenger exploded the 
 following year. 
2015  smiled.


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Is a major cyber-attack coming? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, July 18

Thank you, Ian!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Woman, who told police Obama legalized counterfeiting Details at Boneheads Today in 0064 The Great Fire of Rome began. Private houses had been all wood up to then. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes. --- Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "What do you love most about me," a husband asked his wife, "my tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?" "What I love most about you," responded the man's wife, "is your incredible sense of humor." ______________________________________________________ Linda and Marion were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business. "I started a new practice last year," Linda said. "I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months." "Why in the world would you do that?" Marion asked. "It's the best way I know of to learn which ones I can do without," Linda said. ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Pamela Downs, 45, Kingsport, Tennessee
Woman Tells Police Obama Legalized Counterfeiting When Pamela Downs was arrested for trying to pass counterfeit money, she supposedly gave the cops what she thought was a reasonable explanation: Obama made it legal. Downs, 45, was arrested after an incident Sunday night when she allegedly gave a gas station employee in Kingsport, Tennessee, a suspicious-looking $5 bill. The arresting officer noted that the curious currency appeared to have been printed on a home printer with two sides glued together, according to RawStory.com. According to police, Downs said she had received the counterfeit cash from a gas station but never inspected it. After she consented to a search of her purse, the officer said he found a fake $100 bill printed in black and white. The back of the bill was upside down, according to the Kingsport Times-News. The police allegedly found receipts from Walmart for a printer and copy paper. At that point, Downs was arrested and charged with counterfeiting, according to the paper. Officers said when Downs was at the jail, she said that she had read online about a law that allowed people on fixed incomes to print their own money. “I don’t give a f**k, all these other ba*****s get to print money, so I can too,” she allegedly told police, according to CBS Washington. Downs was apparently referring to a 2009 article entitled "Obama Wants Citizens to Print Their Own Money" from The Skunk, a news parody website that provides "Tasteless American Satire For The Ill-Informed." Officers who searched Downs' home said they found counterfeit bills totaling between $30,000 to $50,000. Downs is being held at the Sullivan County Jail, with a court date on Thursday. Bail is expected to be high, and in real money.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lynn Re: Cyberattack coming Dear Webby, What do you think about all these warnings about a major cyber-attack coming soon and that the hackers stealing all the Government data are only practising and preparing? Thanks Lynn Dear Lynn Half of that practising and preparing is mostly just pranking, people trying to see if they can do it. The other half is selling the data to spammers and scammers. Those spammers and scammers would get extremely uptight if they had paid tens of Millions of dollars for the data, and then some turkey messed up the Internet or the electrical power grid. They need the Internet to make back their investment and to make the expected profit. It is a good idea, though, to back up all important data on a removeable drive or camera chip, just in case something goes wrong with your computer. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A Jewish lady goes into a furniture store owned by a Jewish man. She picks out a lamp she likes and brings it to the counter. She finds out the price is $69.95 and says, "Oy, down the street at Goldstein's these are only $49.95!" The owner asks why she doesn't buy it from Goldstein's, and she says, "Because they just ran out of them." The owner throws up his hands and says, "Ha! When I'm out of them, they're only $41.95! ______________________________________________________ There was an expectant father who had spent quite some time waiting for the offspring to arrive - at his in- laws place. As his leave balance had gone into the red, he tells his father-in-law: "When my son comes, do not call up office and say that I have become a father of a boy, etc. otherwise I'll have to shell out a lot for parties etc. Just tell me that the clock has arrived. This will be our code for the arrival of the baby." The offspring does arrive one day, but it's a daughter. The father-in-law now thinks - "If I tell him that the clock has not arrived, he'll misunderstand that some thing has happened to the baby and come rushing over." So he sends the message - " The clock has arrived, ... one without a pendulum." ______________________________________________________ A feisty 70 year-old woman had to call a furnace repairman. After a quick inspection, the man put some oil into the motor and handed her a $70 bill for the service call. "Service! One hour?" she exclaimed. "It only took you five minutes!" The repairman explained that his company had a minimum one-hour charge on every house call, since it included travelling time. "Well, I want my remaining 55 minutes of service," the lady responded, and she handed him a rake. The repairman spent the next 55 minutes in her yard bagging leaves. ---I guess for the next furnace emergency service call she might as well write to the Government or pray for warm weather. Emergency repair people have long memories and busy schedules. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Prevent Bitter Tea Tea is better if it's made by the sun, bringing water to a boil on the stove creates 'bitter' tea. And sun tea does not necessarily mean that it has to sit in the sun. Tea bags will make tea sitting on the counter or in the fridge, it just takes time. By llpensinger [15] You might get some violent arguments about that from tea fanatics, but when it comes to ice-tea, I agree 100%. It tastes much better when made in the sun in a big old gallon pickle jar. Take the teabags out when it has almost the right color, - it will darken more on it's own-, add a pinch of salt and the juice from a quarter of a lemon, and if you are in the South, a few TBSP of sugar. Sure beats ANY instant ice tea! Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ How was your trip to New Jersey?" "Well, a mugger stopped me and said, 'Gimme your money, or I'll blow your brains out.' " "What did you do?" "I told him to go ahead and shoot. He was so shocked, he ran away." "Wow! He told you to give him your money or he'd blow your brains out, and you told him to go ahead and shoot?" "Yeah. You don't need brains to live in New Jersey, but you can't get along without money." ____________________________________________________
Free kitten
____________________________________________________ An IRS agent goes into a synagogue looking for the rabbi. "Rabbi", he says when he sees him," do you know a Mr. Morris Katz?" "Yes, I do," says the rabbi. "Is he a member of your congregation?" asks the agent. "Yes, he is,"says the rabbi. "Did he make the $100,000 donation to the synagogue, that he claims on his tax return?" asks the IRS agent. "I can assure you that he will!" says the rabbi. ____________________________________________________
I love Animusic! The guys who came up with this have quite the imagination and musical talent.

Today in 
0064 The Great Fire of Rome began. Private houses had been all 
 wood up to then.
1536 The authority of the pope was declared void in England. 
1789 Robespierre, a deputy from Arras, France, decided to 
 back the French Revolution. 
1812 Great Britain signed the Treaty of Orebro, making peace 
 with Russia and Sweden. 
1830 Uruguay adopted a liberal constitution. 
1872 The Ballot Act was passed in Great Britain, providing 
 for secret election ballots. 
1914 Six planes of the U.S. Army helped to form an aviation 
 division called the Signal Corps. 
1932 The U.S. and Canada signed a treaty to develop the 
 St. Lawrence Seaway. 
1935 Ethiopian King Haile Selassie urged his countrymen to 
 fight to the last man against the invading Italian army. 
1936 The first Oscar Meyer Wienermobile rolled out of General 
 Body Company’s factory in Chicago, IL. 
1936 The Spanish Civil War began as Gen. Francisco Franco led 
 an uprising of army troops based in Spanish North Africa. 
1942 The German Me-262, the first jet-propelled aircraft to 
 fly in combat, made its first flight. 
1944 U.S. troops captured Saint-Lo, France, ending the battle 
 of the hedgerows. 
1944 Hideki Tojo was removed as Japanese premier and war 
 minister due to setbacks suffered by his country in WWII. 
1971 New Zealand and Australia announced they would pull their 
 troops out of Vietnam. 
2001 A train derailed, involving 60 cars, in a Baltimore 
 train tunnel. The fire that resulted lasted for six days and 
 virtually closed down downtown Baltimore for several days.
2015  smiled.


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Can you upload to a web site from a Mac? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, July 17
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Diner Expects Jesus To Pay Buffet Bill Details at Boneheads Today in 1212 The Moslems were crushed in the Spanish crusade. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Anybody who has doubts about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one. --- George Meany Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. --- Bill Watterson, cartoonist "Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." --- Mark Twain (1835-1910) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat. She thinks to herself, "Here's another male chauvinist pig trying to keep suppressing the independence of a woman by implying she is obligated to be grateful for a lousy seat", and she pushes him back onto the seat. A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up. Finally, the man says, "Lady, you'll have to go molest somebody else now. I'm two miles past my stop already and got to get off the bus." ______________________________________________________ A man and woman are having marriage problems, and decide to end their union after a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple goes to court to finalize their break-up. The judge asks the husband, "What has brought you to the point that you are now at, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?" The husband says, "In the six weeks we've been together, we haven't been able to agree on one thing." The wife says, "Six and a half weeks." ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by April Lee Yates, 51, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Diner Expects 'Jesus' To Pay Buffet Bill The Lord may provideth, but don't expect Jesus to pay your restaurant tab. The Olive Garden restaurant in Jerusalem is still trying to collect for his Last Supper. April Lee Yates, 51, was arrested Sunday for allegedly refusing pay for a $26 seafood buffet at Bennetts Calabash in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Police arrived after employees said she'd been at the restaurant for four hours and was disturbing other patrons, according to CountOn2.com. Yates also allegedly refused to pay for her meal, saying she had no money. Officers said when Yates was asked what she had planned to do about the bill, she told them that Jesus would pay it for her, according to WBMF TV. No one named Jesus came forward with the money. At that point, Yates was arrested and charged with defrauding a restaurant. She was taken to the Myrtle Beach Jail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Minnie (NOT mini) Re: Putting pictures onto a site with a Mac Dear Webby, I somehow inherited the task to update my dad's business site after mom fired the secretary, who used to do that. Yeah, right. She used a PC for doing that. All I have is a Mac. Will that work? I did learn HTML in Highschool and still remember most of it. Minnie Dear Minnie Yes, sure. There are probably a dozen people using Macs for writing pages and uploading them and the pictures. Apparently it is not as easy as with a PC and requires reading some instructions. That is why many Millions of people use PCs for that, and either Windows or Linux. Download and install FileZilla FTP, and carefully follow the instructions. If it doesn't work right, skype me. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two." The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world." But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel this way about my mother moving in with us." ______________________________________________________ Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, my friend trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette. One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her. Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, "Dressed a little casually today, aren't we?" The man replied, "That's one benefit of owning the company." ______________________________________________________ A sergeant in a parachute regiment regularly took part in night-time exercises. One night he was seated next to a lieutenant, fresh from Jump School. He was quiet, sad, and looked a bit pale, so the sergeant struck up a conversation. "Scared, Lieutenant?", he asked. "No, just a bit apprehensive," said the lieutenant. The sergeant asked, "What's the difference?" The Lieutenant replied, "That means I'm too chicken to admit that I am scared!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Refreshing Frozen Yogurt Bars Healthy and delicious frozen yogurt bars can be made with a handful of ingredients and your blender. Approximate Time: 5 minutes Yield: 4-6 mini bars Ingredients: 1.5 cup full fat yogurt 1 banana 1 cup strawberries 2 Tbsp honey 1/3 cup sugar Steps: Puree the strawberries, banana, yogurt, honey, and sugar in a blender until smooth. Pour the mixture into the ice pop molds or paper cups. Place them in the freezer until frozen. Release the pops from the molds or cups. Enjoy! You can use any fruit you like or even leave chunks of fruit for a yummy texture! By attosa [108] You can leave out the sugar and it works even better. After all, with yoghurt you do expect a bit of tartness. Just use 2 cups of yoghurt. That makes a better thirst quencher. Don't forget to stick posicle sticks into the center before the cones harden! Popsicle molds and sticks are available at many dollar stores. Have FUN! DearaWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions. One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "Called in SICK yesterday!" There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score. The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator. "Wow," he said. "Think of what kind of score he could have had if he hadn't been sick!" ____________________________________________________ A woman who plays cards one night a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband when she came home around 11:30 p.m. One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom - only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading. "Dangit woman!" he exclaimed. "Did you lose EVERYTHING?" ____________________________________________________
This is amazing what magic music sounds have!

Today in 
1212 The Moslems were crushed in the Spanish crusade. 
1453 France defeated England at Castillon, France, which 
 ended the 100 Years' War. 
1785 France limited the importation of goods from Britain. 
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte surrendered to the British at 
 Rochefort, France. 
1821 Spain ceded Florida to the U.S. 
1866 Authorization was given to build a tunnel beneath 
 the Chicago River. The three-year project cost $512,709. 
1898 U.S. troops under General William R. Shafter took 
 Santiago de Cuba during the Spanish-American War. 
1917 The British royal family adopted the Windsor name. 
1941 Brigadier General Soervell directed Architect G. Edwin 
 Bergstrom to have basic plans and architectural perspectives 
 for an office building that could house 40,000 War 
 Department employees on his desk by the following Monday 
 morning. The building became known as the Pentagon. 
1945 U.S. President Truman, Soviet leader Josef Stalin and 
 British Prime Minister Winston S. Churchill began meeting 
 at Potsdam in the final Allied summit of World War II. 
 During the meeting Stalin made the comment that 
 "Hitler had escaped." 
1946 Chinese communists opened a drive against the Nationalist 
 army on the Yangtze River. 
1960 Francis Gary Powers pled guilty to spying charges in a 
 Moscow court after his U-2 spy plane was shot down over the 
 Soviet Union. 
1966 Ho Chi Minh ordered a partial mobilization of North 
 Vietnam forces to defend against American air strikes. 
1975 An Apollo spaceship docked with a Soyuz spacecraft in 
 orbit. It was the first link up between the U.S. and 
 Soviet Union. 
1979 Nicaraguan President Anastasio Somoza resigned and 
 fled to Miami in exile. (Florida) 
1986 The largest bankruptcy filing in U.S. history took place 
 when LTV Corporation asked for court protection from more 
 than 20,000 creditors. LTV Corp. had debts in excess of 
 $4 billion. 
1997 After 117 years, the Woolworth Corp. closed its 
 last 400 stores. 
1998 Biologists reported that they had deciphered the genome 
 (genetic map) of the syphilis bacterium. 
2008 In China, construction of the Shanghai World Financial 
 Center was completed. 
2015  smiled.


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Are these 16 Windows updates safe? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, July 16
Thanks Ronna
Thanks Alfred!


"If you give a woman or a man for that matter without 
his or her knowledge a drug and then have sex with that 
person, that's rape." Obama said. 

Hmmm, so if some guy goes to bed with a "Budweiser Fox"
and wakes up with a "Hangover Warthog", does he cuss at
Budweiser, or file a rape claim? 

I have not been to a bar or pub for years, but I can
envision courts getting really busy. Last time I was at one,
the off-prime ladies were still plying victims with beer.

Maybe Obama will get a real law degree after all. At least 
an honorary one from a liberal university in exchange for 
a suitable donation.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Man who entered US illegally and was arrested in Michigan on kidnapping and sexual assault charges Details at Boneheads Today in 1969 Apollo 11 blasted off from Cape Kennedy, FL, and began the first manned mission to land on the moon. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done. --- Fred Allen (1894 - 1956) When ideas fail, words come in very handy. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe He's the kind of a guy who lights up a room just by flicking a switch. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she and her husband tried it out. Almost immediately, smoke billowed out of the toaster. "Get the owner's manual!" my daughter's husband shouted. "I can't find it anywhere!" cried my daughter a short time later. "Oops!" came a voice from the kitchen. "Well, the toast is fine, but the owner's manual's burned to a crisp." ______________________________________________________ A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park --the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Into McDonalds they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake. Then off to a theater to see Star Wars--more burgers, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually I meant dress size." ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Aurelio Hernandez-Gomez, 23, South Haven, Michigan
Man who entered US illegally arrested in Michigan on kidnapping, sexual assault charges An illegal Mexican immigrant allegedly kidnapped a 13-year-old girl from her Florida home last week and sexually abused her before police located the pair in Michigan, Fox 28 reported. The Van Buren County sheriff's office in southwestern Michigan says 23-year-old Aurelio Hernandez-Gomez was arraigned Friday in South Haven. The girl was last seen Tuesday and reported missing to the Polk County sheriff's office in Florida. Police learned she was at a home in Hartford Township, southwest of Grand Rapids. Authorities in Michigan found the girl and Hernandez-Gomez in the home. Hernandez-Gomez faces extradition to Floriduh and a hearing Wednesday in South Haven District Court. The girl was placed in protective custody while arrangements were being made to return her to her family.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Are these Windows updates safe? Dear Webby, Are these Windows updates safe? KB30... ... Frank Dear Frank Yes, they are all safe. They are just a bunch of bug fixes and security fixes. Go ahead and update. You will have to reboot some time after that, but not immediately afterward. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?" She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce." He looked at her soberly for a time. "I know this must hurt," she said, trying to soften the blow. "Oh, it's not that," he said. "It's just that I wasn't planning on spending quite that much." ______________________________________________________ Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it forever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Dry Clothing on Hangers When drying your laundry outdoors, instead of using pegs, hang as much washing on clothes hangers as possible. Separate the hangers using pegs to stop them gravitating together. Using hangers in this way has 4 advantages: Your clothes stay in good shape. You can fit far more on the washing line. You can bring your washing in much more quickly if it starts to rain. Once dry, anything that doesn't need ironing is immediately ready to hang straight in the wardrobe. Also those peggy hangers that are meant for your smalls can also be used for larger items such as small towels and pillow cases. This also frees up space and helps to bring your washing in quickly By ShirleyE [7] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A woman was at home with her children when the telephone rang. In going to answer it, she tripped on a rug, grabbed for something to hold on to and seized the telephone table. It fell over with a crash, jarring the receiver off the hook. As it fell, it hit the family dog, who leaped up, howling and barking. The woman's three-ear-old daughter, startled by this noise, broke into loud screams. The woman mumbled some colorful words. She finally managed to pick up the receiver and lift it to her ear, just in time to hear her husband's voice on the other end say, "Nobody's said hello yet, but I'm positive I have the right number." ____________________________________________________ A married college student, noticeably pregnant, keeps rubbing her side during a final exam. Before she leaves, the professor asks if she is OK. "I noticed you were holding onto your side," he says. "Oh, I'm fine," she answers. "It's just that my baby was pushing his foot up and down my ribs, and it hurt a little." "Well, that's good," the professor says, feeling genuinely relieved. "Yes," she continues. "It's strange. We both normally sleep during your class." ____________________________________________________
What a lot of work goes into the making of handmade mosaic tiles, and they are beautiful!

Today in 
1774 Russia and the Ottoman Empire signed the treaty of 
 Kuchuk-Kainardji, ending their six-year war. 
1779 American troops under General Anthony Wayne captured 
 Stony Point, NY. 
1791 Louis XVI was suspended from office until he agreed 
 to ratify the French constitution. 
1875 The new French constitution was finalized. 
1912 Bradley A. Fiske patented the airplane torpedo. 
1926 The first underwater color photographs appeared in 
 "National Geographic" magazine. The pictures had been 
 taken near the Florida Keys. 
1935 Oklahoma City became the first city in the U.S. to 
 install parking meters. 
1940 Adolf Hitler ordered the preparations to begin on the 
 invasion of England, known as Operation Sea Lion. 
1942 French police officers rounded up 13,000 Jews and held 
 them in the Winter Velodrome. The round-up was part of an 
 agreement between Pierre Laval and the Nazis. Germany had 
 agreed to not deport French Jews if France arrested 
 foreign Jews. 
1944 Soviet troops occupied Vilna, Lithuania, in their drive 
 toward Germany. 
1945 The United States detonated the first atomic bomb in a 
 test at Alamogordo, NM. 
1950 The largest crowd in sporting history was 199,854. 
 They watched Uruguay defeat Brazil in the World Cup soccer 
 finals in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. 
1951 J.D. Salinger's novel "The Catcher in the Rye" was 
 first published. 
1957 Marine Major John Glenn set a transcontinental speed 
 record when he flew a jet from California to New York in 
 3 hours, 23 minutes and 8 seconds. 
1969 Apollo 11 blasted off from Cape Kennedy, FL, and began 
 the first manned mission to land on the moon. 
1973 Alexander P. Butterfield informed the Senate committee 
 investigating the Watergate affair of the existence of 
 recorded tapes. 
1979 Saddam Hussein became president of Iraq after forcing 
 Hasan al-Bakr to resign. 
1981 After 23 years with the name Datsun, executives of 
 Nissan changed the name of their cars to Nissan. 
2009 In Chicago, Sears Tower was renamed Willis Tower. 
2015  smiled.


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Locked browser size 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, July 15
Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Colorado Sword thief taken down by wench Details at Boneheads Today in 1099 Jerusalem fell to the Crusaders. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond its income. --- Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902) A true friend is one that lets his grass grow as tall as yours. --- Socratex Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. --- Peter De Vries ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Lawyer's question to a Juror: Q. During deliberations would you change your position merely because the other jurors disagree with you? A: No, because the judge told us to sit at the same seat each time. ______________________________________________________ While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, Joe was interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at his uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," he answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," Joe told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot towards him, "would you please tie my shoe?" ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Connor Ward, 22, Larkspur, Colorado
Sword thief taken down by wench A man is facing charges of theft and resisting arrest after authorities say he crashed a jousting performance at the Colorado Renaissance Festival and tried to make off with a sword. A witness says the man was chased down by two women in costume Saturday. Steve Chapman says they chased him up a hill and one of them, dressed as a wench, held him in a headlock for about five minutes until her husband, in a knight's costume, caught up and held him down until security arrived. Douglas County Sheriff's Office spokesman Sgt. Ron Hanavan confirmed that bystanders were able to stop 22-year-old Connor Ward.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Andre Re: Recover from full-screen browser Dear Webby, I think you mentioned the trick once, or maybe more than once, how to recover from full screen, when a browser or program accidentally goes to full monitor size and there is no top bar to click on. What is the trick to recover from that? Thanks Andre Dear Andre Hit F11 That will get you back to controllable part screen size views. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." And why not, darling?" "You know that you always have a headache next morning after wearing that suit!" ______________________________________________________ The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that building that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the young guy replied. The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then he turned to the young man and said, "Alright. Get in." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Quick and Safe Strawberry Hulling Many suggestions are floating around for this chore, but yesterday I found the winner. Many of the tools are dangerous (e.g., a paring knife). However, I took a pair of needle-nosed pliers to the task. All I did was slide the pliers under the hull, catching the stem, and lift the hull off. I did two quarts in a very short amount of time. Wish I had discovered this earlier. At 81, I have done quart after quart in my lifetime. This method is also safe for young people, no sharp points or edges. By Jean Rabe [4] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The doorbell rang and the little girl ran to open the door. In the doorway stood a man with a clipboard. He explained that he was from the Census Bureau and wanted to know how many were in the family. Walking to the door, drying her hands on her apron, the mother said, "Let's see. There's me and my husband, and my children: Tracy, Katherine, Amanda, Edward, Alfred, Martin . . ." The census taker interrupted, saying, "I'm not interested in the names, ma'am. The numbers will be enough." The little girl said, "We don't use numbers yet. So far we haven't run out of names yet!" ____________________________________________________ Bill was having a really bad day on the golf course. Right around the 14th hole, it seems he had missed one putt too many. He let loose with a fairly impressive string of profanities, grabbed his putter, and stormed off toward the lake by the 15th tee. "Uh-oh," said his caddie to one of his playing partners, "There goes that club." "You think so?" said his partner. "I've got five bucks saying he misses the water!" ____________________________________________________
What an engineering feat to build this train track! It goes through some really beautiful country.

Today in 
1099 Jerusalem fell to the Crusaders. 
1410 Poles and Lithuanians defeated the Teutonic knights 
 at Tannenburg, Prussia. 
1789 The electors of Paris set up a "Commune" to live without 
 the authority of the government. 
1806 Lieutenant Zebulon Pike began his western expedition 
 from Fort Belle Fountaine, near St. Louis, MO. 
1813 Napoleon Bonaparte's representatives met with the Allies 
 in Prague to discuss peace terms. 
1834 Lord Napier of England arrived in Macao, China as the 
 first chief superintendent of trade. 
1888 "Printers’ Ink" was first sold. 
1901 Over 74,000 Pittsburgh steel workers went on strike. 
1916 In Seattle, WA, Pacific Aero Products was incorporated 
 by William Boeing. The company was later renamed Boeing Co. 
1918 The Second Battle of the Marne began during World War I. 
1922 The duck-billed platypus arrived in America, direct 
 from Australia.
1942 The first supply flight from India to China over the 
 'Hump' was carried to help China's war effort. 
1958 Five thousand U.S. Marines landed in Beirut, Lebanon, 
 to protect the pro-Western government. The troops withdrew 
 October 25, 1958. 
1965 The spacecraft Mariner IV sent back the first close-up 
 pictures of the planet Mars. 
1968 Commercial air travel began between the U.S. and the 
 U.S.S.R., when the first plane, a Soviet Aeroflot jet, 
 landed at Kennedy International Airport in New York. 
1972 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft became the first to enter 
 the asteroid belt. 
1987 Taiwan ended thirty-seven years of martial law. 
2006 The social networking service Twitter was launched. 
2015  smiled.


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Recover from full-screen browser 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, July 14
Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Dopey Long Island man forgets 3 year old daughter at Subway. Details at Boneheads Today in 1789 French Revolution began with Parisians stormed the Bastille prison and released the seven prisoners inside. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir." Feeling as though he had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he barked at him: "What do you want?" "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "just here to hook up your telephone." ______________________________________________________ Lady: Waiter, please bring me coffee without cream. Waiter: I'm afraid we've run out of cream. Would you like it without milk? ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stanley Fredrique, 34 Long island
Dopey dad left daughter behind at Subway Stanley Fredrique, 34, took Natalie to the store in Harlem, New York He then bought the youngster a meal before walking out of the restaurant Girl started screaming 'daddy, daddy', so he promised he would be back But an employee took her to a police station when he didn't return. Fredrique told police he had forgotten her and tried to report her missing the next day. Another man who said he was outside the Subway when Frederique split suspected the irresponsible father was on synthetic weed, called K2 or spice. “He was standing around here all night long, this strip is a hotbed,” Jerry Smith, 29. “The guy that did that was heavy on K2 — I don't think he was, I know he was.” Nataleigh arrived home in her mother’s arms Sunday evening. Her dopey dad was taken to Bellevue Hospital Center. Frederique has been arrested at least three times on drug charges and spent three years behind bars, from 2005 to 2008. In 2010, he also was charged with endangering the welfare of a child because of an argument a male relative had with a woman over child care, according to the Long Island Press.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Andre Re: Recover from full-screen browser Dear Webby, I think you mentioned the trick once, or maybe more than once, how to recover from full screen, when a browser or program accidentally goes to full monitor size and there is no top bar to click on. What is the trick to recover from that? Thanks Andre Dear Andre Hit F11 That will get you back to controllable part screen size views. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >Fom Ed The other day I was playing golf and saw an unusual thing. A golfer became so mad that he threw his brand new set of golf clubs into the lake. A few minutes later he came back, waded into the lake, and retrieved his clubs. He proceeded to take his car keys out of the bag -- then threw the clubs back into the water. ______________________________________________________ A lady was driving from her husband's office to the kids' school, with twelve youngsters in the car, when she blew past a red light, and a police car. Much to the delight of the kids, the police officer pulled her over, wrote her a ticket, lectured her on traffic safety, and finished by saying, "Lady, don't you know when to stop?" Tomato red in the cheeks, the embarrassed woman said, "Officer, only seven of them are mine!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Toothpaste to Clean Diamond Earrings Take some toothpaste and use your hand or a brush of sorts and brush the jewel. Then rinse and by then you have a sparkling piece of jewlery. By Katie M. [9] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Louise's Cookbook MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Bob. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. TUESDAY: Bob wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Bob brought a friend home for supper. WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kinda of silly but I took a bath. I can't say it improved the rice any. THURSDAY: Today Bob asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Bob asking me why I was rolling around in the garden. FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left. SATURDAY: Bob did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy). For some reason Bob keeps counting to ten. SUNDAY: Bob's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast. All I could find was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment. GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Bob. If we could just get a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with Chocolate Moose. ____________________________________________________ As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where Jill work, she asks the patients if they are allergic to anything. If they are, she prints it on an allergy band placed on the patient's wrists. Once when she asked an elderly woman if she had any allergies, she said she couldn't eat bananas. Imagine Jill's surprise, when several hours later a very irate son came out to the nurses' station screaming: "Who's responsible for labeling my mother 'bananas'?" ____________________________________________________
A beautiful bookstore in Romania. I could live there!

Today in 
1223 In France, Louis VIII succeeded his father, Philip Augustus. 
1430 Joan of Arc, taken prisoner by the Burgundians in May, 
 was handed over to Pierre Cauchon, the bishop of Beauvais. 
1456 Hungarians defeated the Ottomans at the Battle of Belgrade. 
1789 French Revolution began with Parisians stormed the Bastille 
 prison and released the seven prisoners inside. 
1868 Alvin J. Fellows patented the tape measure. 
1891 The primacy of Thomas Edison's lamp patents was upheld 
 in the court decision Electric Light Company vs. U.S. 
 Electric Lighting Company. 
1900 European Allies retook Tientsin, China, from the 
 rebelling Boxers. 
1911 Harry N. Atwood landed an airplane on the lawn of the 
 White House to accept an award from U.S. President William Taft. 
1914 Robert H. Goddard patented liquid rocket-fuel. 
1933 All German political parties except the Nazi Party 
 were outlawed. 
1940 A force of German Ju-88 bombers attacked Suez, Egypt, 
 from bases in Crete. 
1941 Vichy French Foreign Legionaries signed an armistice in 
 Damascus, which allowed them to join the 
 Free French Foreign Legion. 
1945 American battleships and cruisers bombarded the 
 Japanese home islands for the first time. 
1946 Dr. Benjamin Spock’s "The Common Sense Book of Baby 
 and Child Care" was first published. 
1958 The army of Iraq overthrew the monarchy. 
1965 The American space probe Mariner 4 flew by Mars, and 
 sent back photographs of the planet. 
1998 Los Angeles sued 15 tobacco companies for $2.5 billion 
 over the dangers of secondhand smoke. 
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 10 million applications 
 downloaded. 
2008 In Japan, construction began on the Tokyo Skytree tower. 
2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.5 billion 
 applications downloaded. 
2015  smiled.


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Make W8 look like W7 or XP 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, July 13

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Alabama burglar who was chased by cops and a bull Details at Boneheads Today in 1099 The Crusaders launched their final assault on Muslims in Jerusalem. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple that have been married for 40 years decide to celebrate their anniversary with a renewal of their vows. In planning the ceremony with the help of a friend, the wife says she has decided to wear silver instead of white. At that point, her husband chimes in, "Yep, silver. To match her hair." Glaring at the husband's bald spot, the wife's friend inquires, "So, I guess you are going naked?" ______________________________________________________ A sweet young lady who had just been shopping is pulled over by a traffic cop and given a ticket for speeding. Rather than fight the ticket, the woman writes a check for the amount of the fine and puts it in the mail. However, the young woman is worried. Her husband always examines her checkbook carefully, and she doesn't want him to know about the incident. Then inspiration strikes, and she scribbles on the check stub: "One pullover, $125." ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brad Lynn Hemby 26, Arab, Alabama
Robbery suspect chased by bull An Alabama robbery suspect got into some serious beef when he ran across a bull while allegedly fleeing police Wednesday. Police in the city of Arab, in the northern part of the state, said suspect Brad Lynn Hemby, 26, and a female accomplice were chased from a house they were robbing after the homeowner caught them in the act. Hemby and the woman drove off in a Chevrolet truck with officers in pursuit. They crashed near a cow pasture, and Hemby ran. "The driver... fled across a cow pasture and grabbed the attention of a bull roaming the field. The bull also gave chase along with deputies," Marshall County Sheriff Scott Walls told WHNT. The chase ended when Hemby ran into a barbed wire fence and surrendered, according to WAFF. Police said the female suspect ran into a wooded area near the crash site and remains at large. After apprehending Hemby, police recovered stolen items from the truck. Hemby is charged with burglary, criminal mischief and attempting to elude a police officer and a bull.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Helen Re: Make W8 look like W7 or XP Him Webby. I'm just looking for the program you told us about that makes W8 act like XP. I can't seem to find it, and I know you had it in your newsletter just recently. Thank you so much, Alice Dear Alice The XP or W7 desktop shell and various skins are at http://www.classicshell.net/ By the way, with your Windows Mail you CAN put the message into the BODY part. No need to jam it all onto the subject line. The Subject line should be just a very brief topic, just a phrase, so that the recipient can easily tell at a glance what the topic is. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ In a Supermarket, Hong Kong: FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE. ______________________________________________________ Old George was a priest in a small German town. He had always been a good man and lived by the Bible. One day God decided to reward him, with the answer to any three questions George would like to ask. Old George did not need much time to consider, and the first question was: "Will there ever be married Catholic priests?" God promptly replied: "Not in your life-time." George thought for a while, and then came up with the second question: "what about female priests then, will we have that one day?" Again God had to disappoint Old George: "Not in your life-time, I'm afraid." George was sorry to hear that, and he decided to drop the subject. After having thought for a while, he asked the last question: "Will there ever be another German pope?" God answered quickly and with a firm voice, "Not in MY life time." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cornstarch Play Dough Fun play dough to make for your kids! it is super cheap to make, super easy, and non-toxic. Did I mention it only has 3 ingredients? Approximate Time: Under 15 minutes Yield: 3 large circles of fun! :) Supplies: 1 cup water 2 cups baking soda 1 cup cornstarch Steps: Add all of your ingredients to a large pan. Cook over low to medium heat for about 8 minutes, stirring continuously. I decided to separate the dough so that I could make a few different colors. I gave each of my kiddos a tiny container of a couple teaspoons of water. It was a tiny bit crumbly, but they worked in the water and it did the trick! You can either air-dry your creations, then paint them and keep them for display, or store your dough in the fridge for future use. Have fun! :) Source: A book called Little Hands By melissa [162] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The case concerned a will and Kelly was a witness. The attorney asked:"Was the deceased in the habit of talking to himself when he was alone?" "I don't know," said Kelly. "Come now man, you don't know and yet you pretend you were intimately acquainted with the deceased?" "Well, Mr. Lawyer," said Kelly, "I never happened to be with him when he was alone. " ____________________________________________________ Car rental brochure, Tokyo: WHEN PASSENGER OF FOOT HEAVE IN SIGHT, TOOTLE THE HORN. TRUMPET HIM MELODIOUSLY AT FIRST, BUT IF HE STILL OBSTACLES YOUR PASSAGE, THEN TOOTLE HIM WITH VIGOR. Dry cleaner's, Bangkok: DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS. ____________________________________________________
Dogs are great at looking guilty.

Today in 
1099 The Crusaders launched their final assault on Muslims 
 in Jerusalem. 
1534 The Ottoman armies captured Tabriz in northwestern Persia. 
1558 Led by the court of Egmont, the Spanish army defeated the 
 French at Gravelines, France. 
1812 The first pawnbroking ordinance was passed in New York City. 
1832 Henry Schoolcraft discovered the source of the Mississippi 
 River in Minnesota. 
1835 John Ruggles received patent #1 from the U.S. Patent Office 
 for a traction wheel used in locomotive steam engines. All 9,957 
 previous patents were not numbered. 
1863 Opponents of the Civil War draft began three days of rioting 
 in New York City, which resulted in more than 1,000 casualties. 
1875 David Brown patented the first cash-carrier system. 
1878 The Congress of Berlin divided the Balkans among 
 European powers. 
1931 A major German financial institution, Danabank, failed. 
 This led to the closing of all banks in Germany until August 5. 
1941 Britain and the Soviet Union signed a mutual aid pact, 
 that provided the means for Britain to send war material 
 to the Soviet Union. 
1954 In Geneva, the United States, Great Britain and France 
 reached an accord on Indochina which divided Vietnam into 
 two countries, North and South, along the 17th parallel. 
1978 Lee Iacocca was fired as president of Ford Motor Co. 
 by chairman Henry Ford II. 
1984 In Arkansas, Terry Wallis was injured in a car accident 
 and was left comatose. He came out of the coma in June of 2003. 
1998 "Image of an Assassination" went on sale. The video 
 documentary is of Abraham Zapruder's home video of U.S. 
 President Kennedy's assassination in Dallas. 
2000 The United States and Vietnam singed a major trade 
 agreement. The pact still needed to be approved by the 
 U.S. Congress.
2015  smiled.


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Lost Excel worksheet 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, July 12

Thank you Allene!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a 82-year-old Illinois woman, who attacked city employee Details at Boneheads Today in 1870 The first rotary can opener with a cutting wheel was patented by William W. Lyman. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter. --- William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954) If God had intended for man to use the metric system, he would have given us 10 commandments, not 12. --- Hillary Clinton ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Benefit of old age: Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. ______________________________________________________ A new addition to the periodic table of chemical elements Element Name: MAN Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: 180+ Physical properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as young samples. Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KID (Element: Child) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralizes by saturating with alcohol. Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large quantities on command. Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell. ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Reported by Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Margaret Gaul, 82, Macomb, Illinois
82-year-old Macomb woman attacked city employee An 82-year-old woman faced a criminal charge after she allegedly attacked one of two city workers who went to her house to tell her to mow her lawn. Two city employees went to the Macomb, Illinois home of Margaret Gaul a third time on Monday to remind her they had complaints about her lawn, and that it needed to be mowed, according to a report from WGEM. Gaul was accused of venting her anger by repeatedly punching one of the workers, knocking the worker to the ground, and trying to break the worker’s arm by pulling it around a post. Following that part of the alleged attack, Gaul reportedly went into her home and returned, armed with hedge clippers. When police arrived, they knocked the clippers out of Gaul’s hand and placed her under arrest. “She was just upset they came back again to tell her to mow her lawn,” said Macomb Police Chief Curt Barker. “It was just one of those freak things.” The worker suffered bruises but was otherwise okay. Gaul was charged with misdemeanor battery. Online records showed she was released from the McDonough County Jail July 7 after she posted bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Helen Re: Lost Excel work Dear Webby, One of my Excel files mysteriously disappeared. This morning, when I tried to save it before starting work, it said it could not save to that name, I should save it under a different name. Well, I thought that was silly and closed it, and rstarted it. Well guess what, it had somehow broken that worksheet and hid the pieces. Gone. Not in the Recycle bin either. Is there any way to get it back? There better be a way! Otherwise I am going to be extremely pissed off. There is many years of work and data in that! Helen Dear Helen That is typical and to be expected with Excel. It doesn't do it often, just when it hurts the most. If you don't back up your Excel files, the UFOs or Microsoft are going to steal them sooner or later. Actually, they are going to do it anyway, but if you have saved them to another drive or camera memory chip, it's no big deal. To save them I use an old-fashioned DOS bat. Just open NoteTab or Wordpad and make a plain text file and save it as backup.bat in an easy to find location, like c:\ If you use Notepad, make sure it does not add .txt to the end of the file name. In it write something like this xcopy /D /C /H /R /K /Y /Z C:\*.xl* H:\ xcopy /D /C /H /R /K /Y /Z C:\*.qpw H:\ xcopy /D /C /H /R /K /Y /Z C:\docs\*.* H:\docs\ echo Done pause That is assuming that you have an external drive H: You can of course use any safe location. All that gobbledigook there is just options for xcopy so that it copies only files, that are newer on the source than on the destination. It won't waste time on files, that have not been changed, and it won't stall and give up if it encounters a problem with one file, for example one that is still open. The way it works is Xcopy, /options, Source, Destination * is the shortcut for "Anything". You can add as many lines as you want. The "pause" command asks you to "Hit any key". That way you know it is done. When you hit any key, the program closes and the scary black window goes away. Once upon a time, long long ago, all programs ended with the request to hit any key and there are still jokes about that floating around. Now you know what that is all about. Now save that backup.bat and close it. Next right-click on the desktop and select NEW, Shortcut Make a shortcut to your backup.bat and assign a cute icon to it. From now on you can just hit that icon and it backs up all the stuff you specified in it. You can add more at any time. I am sorry that I can't do anything about the lost Excel file, but at least now you know how to prevent a recurrence of that tragic event. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment: shave, shampoo, manicure and haircut, he placed the boy in the chair. Then he said, "I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade. I'll be back in a few minutes." When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you." "That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut'." ______________________________________________________ Little Johnny was having problems in English class, so his teacher decided to stop by on her way home to speak with his parents. When she rang the bell, Little Johnny opened the door. The teacher said, "Hello, Johnny. I would like to talk to your mother or your father." Little Johnny said, "Sorry, but they ain't here." The teacher said, "Johnny, what is it with your grammar?" "Beats me," said Little Johnny, "but dad sure was mad that they had t'go bail her out again." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com All Natural Copper/Brass Polish It never ceases to amaze me how natural ingredients we have around the house could be performing the same tasks as store-bought chemicals, but without the harsh ingredients and toxins. This is quick, easy and works fantastically. Enjoy! :) I almost forgot to mention that this is very inexpensive, too! Approximate Time: A few minutes Yield: Around 1 cup Supplies: 1/2 cup flour 1/2 cup salt 1/2 cup vinegar 1/2 cup hot water 2 tsp lemon juice Add all of your ingredients to a bowl. Mix well. This is the process: Simply rub the mixture all over your surface with a soft cloth. Rinse well with water and dry well. All done! Source: From a book called Homemade By melissa [162] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "Doctor!" whined the patient. "I keep seeing spots before my eyes." The physician scratched his head, "Why have you come to me? Have you seen an opthalmologist?" "No," replied the patient, "just spots." _____________________________________________________ Stopped at a friends house the other day and found him stalkin around with a flyswatter. When I asked if he was gettin any flies, he answered, "Yeah, three males and two females". Curious, I inquired as to how he could tell the difference. He answered, "Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone". ____________________________________________________
An amazing feather balancing act.

Today in 
1096 Crusaders under Peter the Hermit reached Sofia, Bulgaria. 
 There they met their Byzantine escort, which brought them 
 safely the rest of the way to Constantinople. by August 1. 
1543 England's King Henry VIII married his sixth and last 
 wife, Catherine Parr. 
1690 Protestant forces led by William of Orange defeated 
 the Roman Catholic army of James II. 
1691 William III defeated the allied Irish and French armies 
 at the Battle of Aughrim, Ireland. 
1790 The French Assembly approved a Civil Constitution 
 providing for the election of priests and bishops. 
1806 The Confederation of the Rhine was established 
 in Germany. 
1864 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln witnessed the battle 
 where Union forces repelled Jubal Early's army on the 
 outskirts of Washington, DC. 
1870 The first rotary can opener with a cutting wheel 
 was patented by William W. Lyman. 
1933 A minimum wage of 40 cents an hour was established 
 in the U.S. 
1941 Moscow was bombed by the German Luftwaffe for the 
 first time. 
1946 "The Adventures of Sam Spade" was heard on ABC radio 
 for the first time. 
1960 Manufacturing began for the Etch A Sketch®. 
1982 "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial" broke all box-office 
 records by surpassing the $100-million mark of ticket 
 sales in the first 31 days of its opening. 
1982 The last of the distinctive-looking Checker taxicabs 
 rolled off the assembly line in Kalamazoo, MI. 
1998 1.7 billion people watched soccer's World Cup finals 
 between France and Brazil. France won 3-0. 
1999 Walt Disney Co. announced that it was merging all of 
 its Internet operations together with Infoseek into Go.com. 
2000 Russia launched the Zvezda after two years of delays. 
 The module was built to be the living quarters for the 
 International Space Station (ISS.) 
2015  smiled.


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Is Windows 10 really ready? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, July 11

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a murderous couple in Missouri Details at Boneheads Today in 1786 Morocco agreed to stop attacking American ships in the Mediterranean for a payment of $10,000. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble. --- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A principal is making his rounds in the school when he hears a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms. He rushes in and spots one boy, taller than the others, who seems to be making the most noise. He seizes the lad, drags him to the hall, and tells him to wait there until he is excused. Returning to the classroom, the principal restores order and lectures the class for half an hour about the importance of good behavior. "Now," he says, "are there any questions?" One girl stands up timidly. "Please sir," she asks, "may we have our teacher back?" ______________________________________________________ During exams at England's Cambridge University, a bright young student asks the proctor to bring him cakes and ale. "Sorry, no," says the proctor. "Sir, I really must insist," says the student, taking out a copy of the 400 year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect. He points to a section which reads (roughly translated): "Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require cakes and ale." The proctor gives in, but since cakes and ale aren't readily available, he and the student agree that hamburgers and beer can be substituted, and the student sits there, writing his examination and happily slurping away. Three weeks later, the same student is fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination. ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Gypsy Blanchard, 23, Springfield, Missouri Nicholas Godejohn 26, Big Bend, Wisconsin
Mystery, public deception and murder Greene County prosecuting attorney said Tuesday morning that Gypsy Blanchard, 23, and her boyfriend, Nicholas Godejohn, 26, of Big Bend, Wisconsin. are charged with first-degree murder and armed criminal action for the stabbing death of Dee Dee Blancharde, Gypsy's mother. The murder follows what Greene County Sheriff Jim Arnott said is a long history of "mystery and deception" that involves financial fraud. Claudineea had for many years run a scam pretending Gypsy was seriously ill and mentally handicapped. They conned all kinds of organizations and people out of money and services. Details are emerging that Gypsy Rose Blanchard has a secret life, as did Dee Dee too. In previous news reports, Gypsy Rose was reported to suffer from muscular dystrophy and leukemia, and use a wheel chair. In an interview about their new Habitat for Humanity House in 2008, after she and her mother moved here from Louisiana after Hurricane Katrina, her age was listed as 12. That was all just BS. Dee Dee (Claudineea) used drugs on Gypsy to make her teeth fall out and shaved her head to make it look like she had had chemothereapy. And she kept her always within arms reach. Gypsy COULD have gotten away by simply calling the cops or one of the organizations, that were donating money to them. There was no need for murder. Dee Dee would have been locked up for years for her scamming, and Gypsy would have gotten all kinds of help to rehabilitate. Investigators say the awful comments posted on Dee Dee and Gypsy Blancharde’s joint Facebook account, which alerted friends, were both authored by Gypsy. Investigators say Gypsy called Nicholas Godejohn, her boyfriend, and he traveled to Springfield to pick her up and kill her mother because she asked him to do so. Dee Dee Blancharde was found with stab wounds in her bed late Sunday night.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ed Re: Is Windows 10 really ready? Dear Webby, Dear Webby, I know the paid shills at the magazines are paid to gloss over problems and gush about how great Windows10 is going to be, but some admit, it's a definite "going to be" and not really ready yet. What's the truth? Ed Dear Ed PC-World's headline today was New Windows 10 build 10166 squashes bugs, adds Microsoft Wi-Fi access. 10166 was last night's compile. There will probably be a few more before July 29, the official release. And there will be a LOT more, after thousands of eager beavers try it out after July 29, probably without being able to go back. Wait until the worst of the complaint storm is over, and the worst of the bugs have been fixed. There is no rush. Give them a year or two. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A state legislator is awakened in the middle of the night by his wife, who whispers, "I think there's a thief in the house." "Not in the House, my dear," her husband says. "In the Senate, sure, but not in the House." ______________________________________________________ Two women are paired together as partners in a club tournament and meet on the putting green for the first time. After introductions, the first golfer asks, "What's your handicap?" "Oh, I'm a scratch golfer," the other replies. "Really," says the first woman, suitably impressed and thinking they might have a shot at the championship. "Yes," says her partner, "I write down all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Liquid Dishwasher Detergent If you prefer liquid detergent for your dishwasher, then this is for you! This is super inexpensive and easy to make. No more harsh chemicals, no more suds bubbles when you pour water into your clean cups. Cheaper and healthier, sounds good to me! Approximate Time: a few minutes Yield: a little over 3 cups Supplies: 3 Tbsp pure castile liquid soap 3 cups water 1 cup washing soda empty jar Steps: Add 3 cups hot water to a large bowl. Add your washing soda and castile soap. Mix well. Pour into a clean jar, I used a pickle jar. See how it tends to separate? Simply shake it every half hour or so for a couple hours and then before use in the dishwasher. Use 2 tablespoons per load. If you have hard water, you may want to add vinegar and coarse salt to the prewash to reduce film or water stains. Enjoy! Source: Pinterest inspired By melissa [159] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Angus McInnes is dying. On his deathbed, he looks up and says: "Is my wife here?" "Yes, dear, I'm here, next to you," his wife replies. "Are my children here?" he asks. "Yes, daddy, we are all here." "And my other relatives? Are they also here?" "Yes, we are all here," says one. "Then why is the light on in the kitchen?" _____________________________________________________ What's the difference between education and experience? If you read the instructions, you have education. If you don't read the instructions, you WILL get experience. ____________________________________________________
Beautiful pictures. The ice cave in Russia is very strange looking.

Today in 
1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg was elected Holy Roman Emperor
 in Germany. 
1533 Henry VIII, who divorced his wife and become head of 
 the church of England, was excommunicated from the Catholic 
 Church by Pope Clement VII. 
1786 Morocco agreed to stop attacking American ships in the 
 Mediterranean for a payment of $10,000. 
1798 The U.S. Marine Corps was formally re-established by 
 "An Act for Establishing a Marine Corps" passed by the 
 U.S. Congress. The act also created the U.S. Marine Band. 
 The Marines were first commissioned by the Continental 
 Congress on November 10, 1775. 
1804 The United States' first secretary of the treasury, 
 Alexander Hamilton, was killed by Vice President Aaron Burr 
 in a duel. 
1918 Enrico Caruso recorded "Over There" written by 
 George M. Cohan. 
1962 The first transatlantic TV transmission was sent through 
 the Telstar I satellite. 
1972 U.S. forces broke the 95-day siege at An Loc in Vietnam. 
1979 The abandoned U.S. space station Skylab returned to 
 Earth. It burned up in the atmosphere and showered debris 
 over the Indian Ocean and Australia. 
1985 Dr. H. Harlan Stone announced that he had used zippers 
 for stitches on 28 patients. The zippers were used when he 
 thought he may have to re-operate. 
1995 Full diplomatic relations were established between the 
 United States and Vietnam. 
1999 A U.S. Air Force jet flew over the Antarctic and dropped 
 off emergency medical supplies for Dr. Jerri Nelson after 
 she had discovered a lump in her breast. Nelso was at the 
 Amundsen-Scott South Pole Research Center. 
2000 The video "Jaws," the Anniversary Collector's Edition, 
 was released. 
2015  smiled.


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Windows 10 naggers 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, July 19
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Georgia woman, who battered beau over sex denial Details at Boneheads Today in 1778 In support of the American Revolution, Louis XVI declared war on England. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it. --- Tallulah Bankhead (1903 - 1968) A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. --- Wilson Mizner ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Bonnie There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory. I forget the other two. ______________________________________________________ A woman approached the minister after the sermon, and thanked him for his discourse. "I found it so helpful," she said. The minister replied: "I hope it will not prove as helpful as the last sermon you heard me preach." "Why, what do you mean?" asked the astonished woman. "Well," said the minister, "that sermon lasted you three years." ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Tabatha Lee Grooms, 35, Augusta, Georgia
Georgia woman battered beau over sex denial A Georgia woman is facing a pair of battery charges after she attacked her live-in boyfriend for refusing to have sex with her, police allege. Tabatha Lee Grooms, 35, is accused of leaving her beau Carlos Rodrecus Grace, 30, bloodied following a June 25 confrontation in their Augusta home (which the couple shares with her 66-year-old mother). According to a Richmond County Sheriff’s Office report, Grace had a bite mark on his left forearm and “visible scratches to his face, head and neck that were still bleeding slightly” when deputies interviewed him. Grace told investigators that “Grooms was mad from earlier in the day because he would not have sex with her.” After a night of boozing, Grooms returned to the residence and announced that she had “fucked everyone else because [Grace] would not fuck her,” Deputy Phillip Clark reported. Following that proclamation, Grooms allegedly scratched and bit Grace, who was seated on a couch. Grooms, who declined to answer police questions about the fight, admitted that she had been drinking (Clark noted that she appeared to be “highly under the influence of alcohol”). In addition to the alleged attack on Grace, Grooms was also charged with a second misdemeanor count for allegedly punching her mother in the eye. Court records show that Grooms has previously pleaded no contest to leaving the scene of an accident. She is also facing a misdemeanor drunk driving charge.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Mike Re: Windows 10 naggers Dear Webby, Dear Webby, I am getting encouraged to update to Windows 10. What are your thoughts on Windows 10? I currently have Windows 7. Thanks !!! Mike Dear Mike Wait for 10.1, SP2 Let them fix it first. It was only a month ago that utilities came out for making W8 look and act like XP or W7, so that people could focus on getting work done, instead of on cussing at an unwieldy and hostile user interface. There is no rush at all. W10 probably won't go away soon. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business, much like his own, opened up next door and erected a huge sign, which read, "BEST DEALS." He was horrified when another competitor opened up on the other side, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading, "LOWEST PRICES." The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put a sign over his own shop. It read: "MAIN ENTRANCE." ______________________________________________________ An extremely shy fellow brings his date a bouquet of flowers. She's so overcome she throws her arms around him and kisses him long and hard. After the kiss, red-faced, he turns and bolts for the door. "Oh, I'm sorry," she says. "I didn't mean to offend you." "You didn't," he replies. "I'm just running down to the cemetery for more flowers." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Salt Water for Tarnished Silver Ring After using household bleach for cleaning I realized my favorite silver ring had been tarnished and I was freaking out! I had the impulse to rub it with salt as it is an alkaline and submerge my ring in salted boiling water. It worked in about 25-30 mins! By mariah c-t. [1] The traditional method of 1 teaspon of baking soda sprinkled onto aluminum foil in a small pot or pan, 1/4 cup warm water and the ring added, and agitated slightly, works in a couple of minutes. Works not only on jewelry, but is the recommended method for fine, real silver cutlery, that naturally turns black when not used frequently. The black is just silver oxide. Aluminum WANTS that oxygen, and when helped by the baking soda, rips it off, leaving clean silver behind. No pitting, no abrasion. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable. _____________________________________________________ One Sunday afternoon, the Pastor's wife dropped into an easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tried!" Her husband looked over at her and said, "I had to conduct two special services last night, three today, and give a total of five sermons. Why are you so tired?" "Dearest," she replied, "I had to listen to all that BS and pretend to be impressed!" ____________________________________________________
The Most Amazing Sand Sculptures You Will See Today

Today in 
1609 The Catholic states in Germany set up a league under 
 the leadership of Maximillian of Bavaria. 
1679 The British crown claimed New Hampshire as a 
 royal colony. 
1776 The statue of King George III was pulled down in 
 New York City. 
1778 In support of the American Revolution, Louis XVI 
 declared war on England. 
1821 U.S. troops took possession of Florida. The territory 
 was sold by Spain. 
1866 Edison P. Clark patented his indelible pencil. 
1900 ‘His Master’s Voice’, was registered with the U.S. 
 Patent Office. The logo of the Victor Recording Company, 
 and later, RCA Victor, shows the dog, Nipper, looking 
 into the horn of a gramophone machine. 
1910 W.R. Brookins became the first to fly an airplane 
 at an altitude of one mile. 
1913 The highest temperature ever recorded in the U.S. 
 was 134 degrees in Death Valley, CA. 
1919 The Treaty of Versailles was hand delivered to the 
 U.S. Senate by President Wilson. 
1928 George Eastman first demonstrated color motion 
 pictures. 
1938 Howard Hughes completed a 91 hour flight around 
 the world. 
1940 The 114-day Battle of Britain began during WWII. 
1949 The first practical rectangular television was presented. 
 The picture tube measured 12 by 16 and sold for $12. 
1951 Sugar Ray Robinson was defeated for only the second time 
 in 133 fights as Randy Turpin took the middleweight crown. 
1953 American forces withdraw from Pork Chop Hill in Korea 
 after heavy fighting. 
1962 The Telstar Communications satellite was launched. 
 The satellite relayed TV and telephone signals between 
 Europe and the U.S. 
1973 Britain granted the Bahamas their independence after 
 three centuries of British colonial rule. 
1985 Coca-Cola resumed selling the old formula of Coke, 
 it was renamed "Coca-Cola Classic." It was also 
 announced that they would continue to sell "New" Coke. 
1991 U.S. President Bush lifted economic sanctions against 
 South Africa, citing its "profound transformation" 
 toward racial equality. 
1997 Scientists in London said DNA from a Neanderthal 
 skeleton supported a theory that all humanity descended 
 from an "African Eve" 100,000 to 200,000 years ago. 
1998 The World Bank approved a $700 million loan to Thailand. 
2002 Peter Paul Rubens' painting "The Massacre of the Innocents" 
 sold for $76.2 million at Sotheby's. 
2015  smiled.


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Facebook movies don't work for her 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, July 9

Thank you, Master Chief Jim!
Happy 92nd Birthday!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Former Texas judge, who posted fake sex ads of ex-girlfriends Details at Boneheads Today in 0118 Hadrian, Rome's new emperor, made his entry into the city. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics. --- Benjamin Disraeli (1804 - 1881) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At the company barbecue a lady stood up and said that it was time to get ready for the celebrations. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every man to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. The bartender was almost crushed to death. ______________________________________________________ A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the back seat. The two women just won't leave the poor man alone. His mother-in-law says, "You're driving too fast!" His wife says, "Stay to the right!" After several more orders from both of them the man breaks down and barks at his wife, "Who's driving this car, anyway, you or your mother?" ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Christopher Dupuy, 43, Galveston, Texas
Former Texas Judge Posted Fake Sex Ads Of Ex-Girlfriends A former Texas state judge is facing charges of online harassment after allegedly placing two bogus sex-for-hire ads featuring two of his ex-girlfriends. Christopher Dupuy, 43, was arrested on July 2 in Galveston and remains behind bars on $600,000 bail, the Houston Chronicle reports. Dupuy posted escort ads on Backpage.com using pictures of the former girlfriends, according to an investigation by the Galveston County District Attorney's Office and the Harris County Sheriff's Office. Adam Poole, an assistant Galveston County district attorney, told TexasLawyer.com that the photos of the victims were used without permission in an attempt to harass them. Between 2010 and 2013, Dupuy served as a Galveston County Judge. He resigned after being charged with multiple counts of lying under oath and abuse of office. He went to work as an attorney and is currently serving two years of probation in connection with those charges, according to YourHoustonNews.com. Officials were able to trace the ads to Dupuy, who placed them under the fake name "Don Tequila," HoustonPress.com reports. That's also the name of a commenter who criticized Dupuy while he was a judge. "The first victim was getting all kinds of calls and texts from prospective johns," Poole told the website. "And the detective working the case reached out to the second victim." One of the women told police she hired Dupuy to handle her divorce, but that he wanted to have a relationship with her. That woman had dated Dupuy six years ago when she was single, court records show. When she declined to rekindle the romance, she said Dupuy started harassing her on Facebook by sending photos with insulting remarks. She broke off all communication with Dupuy after the divorce was finalized, at which point, an ad with her phone number appeared on Backpage.com promising "a sexy nurse" who was "very fetish friendly." Another ad that investigators traced to Dupuy featured pictures of the second woman's breasts. She told police she'd broken up with the suspect last August and that she texted the photos while they were dating, but said he'd been harassing her since the break-up, according to HoustonPress.com. Dupuy has asked for a court-appointed attorney to represent him.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Diana Re: can't open videos on facebook Dear Webby, I really enjoy your newsletter. You have helped me in the past and hopefully you can help me now. I just purchased a refurbished Dell. I can open videos from Godvine but not from facebook. What am I missing? Diana Dear Diana Videos on Facebook usually require Shockwave. Install all the free Adobe stuff, and the videos should play OK. If you just want the video player, go to http://www.adobe.com/devnet/flashplayer/stagevideo.html Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Kids never understand parent's logic. They always fail to see why they have to go to bed when the parents are tired. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Soft Scrub I was out of my usual noxious bleach cleanser, but needed to clean my sinks. I decided to whip something up myself. To my delight, it actually worked! This is an all natural, fume free way to clean your sinks or any other surface you may want, showers, etc. It is very inexpensive too! Approximate Time: A few minutes Yield: About 1 1/2 cups Supplies: 1 1/2 cup baking soda 1/2 cup lemon juice large bowl clean jar with lid Steps: In a large bowl, combine your baking soda and lemon juice concentrate. I learned the hard way that this fizzes and initially becomes much larger than it will end up. So if you want to avoid a big mess, use a big bowl.:) Add your mixture to a clean glass jar with a lid to store for future use. By melissa [159] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The difference between the Supreme Court now and the Klu Klux Klan is that the Supreme Court wears black robes and scares the hell out of white people. _____________________________________________________ An octogenarian who is an avid golfer moves to a new town and joins the local country club. The first time he goes to the club to play, however, he-s told there isn-t anybody he can play with because all the members are already out on the course. The old fellow repeats several times that he really wants to play. Finally the assistant pro agrees to go out with him. The pro also says he-ll give the man a 12 stroke handicap. "I really don't need a handicap," he says. "I have been playing quite well. The only real problem I have is getting out of sand traps." And he does play well, though on the 18th hole, after a long drive, his ball lands in a sand trap. Still, when he shoots from the trap, he hits a very high ball that bounces onto the green and rolls into the hole. The pro walks over to the sand trap where his opponent is still standing. "Nice shot," he says, "but I thought you said you have a problem getting out of sand traps?" Replies the octogenarian, "I do. Please give me a hand and help me up out of this blasted sandpit." ____________________________________________________
Danish artist Thomas Dambo makes sculptures from scrap wood.

Today in 
0118 Hadrian, Rome's new emperor, made his entry into the city.
0455 Avitus, the Roman military commander in Gaul, became 
 Emperor of the West. 
1540 England's King Henry VIII had his 6-month-old marriage 
 to his fourth wife, Anne of Cleves, annulled. 
1609 In a letter to the crown, the emperor Rudolf II granted 
 Bohemia freedom of worship. 
1776 The American Declaration of Independence was read aloud 
 to Gen. George Washington's troops in New York. 
1789 In Versailles, the French National Assembly declared 
 itself the Constituent Assembly and began to prepare a 
 French constitution. 
1790 The Swedish navy captured one third of the Russian 
 fleet at the naval battle of Svensksund in the Baltic Sea. 
1808 The leather-splitting machine was patented by 
 Samuel Parker. 
1816 Argentina declared independence from Spain. 
1847 A 10-hour work day was established for workers in 
 the state of New Hampshire. 
1872 The doughnut cutter was patented by John F. Blondel. 
1877 Alexander Graham Bell, Gardiner Greene Hubbard, 
 Thomas Sanders and Thomas Watson formed the 
 Bell Telephone Company. 
1878 The corncob pipe was patented by Henry Tibbe. 
1900 The Commonwealth of Australia was established by 
 an act of the British Parliament, uniting the separate 
 colonies under a federal government. 
1943 American and British forces made an amphibious 
 landing on Sicily. 
1947 The engagement of Britain's Princess Elizabeth to 
 Lt. Philip Mountbatten was announced. 
1951 U.S. President Truman asked Congress to formally 
 end the state of war between the United States and Germany. 
1953 New York Airways began the first commuter passenger 
 service by helicopter. 
1971 The United States turned over complete responsibility 
 of the Demilitarized Zone to South Vietnamese units. 
1997 Mike Tyson was banned from the boxing ring and fined 
 $3 million for biting the ear of opponent Evander Holyfield. 
2005 Danny Way, a daredevil skateboarder, rolled down a 
 large ramp and jumped across the Great Wall of China. 
 He was the first person to clear the wall without 
 motorized aid.
2015  smiled.


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What are registry errors? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, July 8

Thank you, William

Google self-driving cars had two accidents in June, both caused 
by non-Google humans.
In both incidents, a self-driving test car was rear-ended 
at a stop light. No injuries occurred.

No injuries were reported in either incident, Google said 
in its monthly report that lists accidents involving its 
fleet of autonomous cars. Both collisions involved test 
cars from Google’s fleet of Lexus sport utility vehicles, 
which are equipped with autonomous driving technology. 

Self-driving test cars have a much better record than 
texting humans.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Oklahoma child molester Details at Boneheads Today in 1099 Christian soldiers on the First Crusade march around in Jerusalem. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. --- Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862) Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties and nations, it is the rule. --- Friedrich Nietzsche ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An artist asks the gallery owner if there has been any interest in his paintings that are on display. "I have good news and bad news," the owner replies. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings." "That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "The guy was your doctor." ______________________________________________________ A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. "I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place this between your cheek and gum." The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech, "And what if I swallow it?" "No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does." ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Eric Sean Absher, 40, Duncan, Oklahoma
Oklahoma mom walks in on man molesting children, beats him with pool stick An Oklahoma man was arrested after a mom walked in on him molesting four of her young children and beat him with a pool stick, police said. Eric Sean Absher, 40, was captured two days after the woman discovered him forcibly touching her sons and daughters, all under the age of 12, in her bedroom in Duncan on Wednesday, the Stephens County Sheriff's Office said. The woman, who had been in the next room, "became enraged" and hit Absher with a nearby pool stick and chased him out of the home, police told the Lawton Constitution. "He was able to stop a passerby saying 'this woman was crazy.' Not knowing what had just occurred, that guy takes him away from the scene," Sheriff Wayne McKinney told KSWO. Absher later told the driver that the situation was a misunderstanding after one of the children grabbed him, leaving his penis exposed accidentally, Deputy Jason Riggle said. A 6-year-old girl told police "'the bad guy' choked her with his 'bad spot'" and made her perform oral sex, according to an affidavit. "There's not any more serious of a crime, in my opinion, against humanity to molest a small child. We are talking 4-, 5- and 6-year-olds," McKinney said. Tips from the public led authorities to find Absher and arrest him Friday as he wore a shirt saying, "Has anyone told you today that JESUS loves you?" He was charged with five felony counts of lewd acts with a child under 12 on Tuesday. He could face life in prison if convicted. Police did not say why he was in the woman's home in the first place. Absher was out on bond at the time of his arrest after he had exposed himself to a 5-year-old girl and forced her to touch him in February, police told the Lawton Constitution. He was also wanted on a forgery charge. "He's a very dangerous individual, especially to children, and I think he's proved that," McKinney said.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bonnie Re: what are Registry Errors? Dear Webby what are Registry Errors? I run a program called Auslogics Registry Cleaner every day or so and it shows me registry errors to repair... why? does it improve speed or connectivity? thanks - love your daily newsletter... Richie Dear Richie I could write pages about that and really confuse you. What it all boils down to, is this: Registry errors are often a sign of some kind of infection or setup problem, or Windows malfunction. They can be due to improperly UNinstalled programs or due to hastily nuked infections. Regardless of what caused them, they do slow things down, and it is a good idea to fix them. Most registry fixers are a hoax and just report fake errors, and then pretend to fix those. Those fixers won't make a difference in performance and speed. The ones, that actually make a difference, like Uniblue, see the link below here, often have a free trial version, that will let you see first hand, how effective they are. I also use PC-Mechanic, which has some handy extra utilities included. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Sara, it is OK to let your mind go blank, but please turn off the sound. ______________________________________________________ A man walks into an animal hospital with a gigantic parrot and asks to have the bird's beak and wings trimmed. The owner warns the veterinarian's assistant that the bird dislikes these procedures and is apt to bite. The assistant puts on thick gloves and cautiously opens the cage. The parrot steps out, then looks up at the wary assistant. "Don't worry," the parrot squawks, "this won't hurt a bit, ...... and you wanted a vasectomy anyway." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mosquito Trap Today, I made two mosquito traps from soda bottles. I did not have any black construction paper but did have black ground cloth. I cut a piece to cover the bottle and stapled the fabric on the bottom so it would sit flat. This should last longer than paper. Using duct tape, I secured the fabric and the two pieces of the bottle. Now I am ready to see how many mosquitoes I trap today. By Angela R. W. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ According to statistics, last year over 19 million American families paid a lot of money for things that looked funny and didn't work. Seven million of these were antiques; the rest were college students. _____________________________________________________ A young man from the city goes to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle shows him the usual things, the livestock, the crops. After three days, however, it is obvious that the nephew is getting bored, and the uncle is running out of things to amuse him with. Finally, the uncle has an idea. "Why don't you grab a gun, take the dogs, and go shooting?" This seems to cheer the nephew up, and with enthusiasm, off he goes. After a few hours, the nephew returns. "How did you enjoy that?" his uncle asks. "It was great," the nephew says. "I kinda like those dogs, so I took the cats instead. Got any more cats?" ____________________________________________________
From fierce dragons to rabbits, the amazing things this man can make out of driftwood are awesome.

Today in 
1099 Christian soldiers on the First Crusade march around 
 in Jerusalem. 
1608 The first French settlement at Quebec was established 
 by Samuel de Champlain. 
1663 King Charles II of England granted a charter to 
 Rhode Island. 
1709 Peter the Great defeated Charles XII at Poltava, 
 in the Ukraine, The Swedish empire was effectively ended. 
1755 Britain broke off diplomatic relations with France as 
 their disputes in the New World intensified. 
1794 French troops captured Brussels, Belgium. 
1815 Louis XVIII returned to Paris after the defeat of
 Napoleon. 
1865 C.E. Barnes patented the machine gun. 
1879 The first ship to use electric lights departed from 
 San Francisco, CA. 
1881 Edward Berner, druggist in Two Rivers, WI, poured 
 chocolate syrup on ice cream in a dish. To this time 
 chocolate syrup had only been used for making ice-cream 
 sodas. 
1889 John L. Sullivan defeated Jake Kilrain, in the last 
 championship bare-knuckle fight. The fight lasted 75 rounds. 
1950 General Douglas MacArthur was named commander-in-chief 
 of United Nations forces in Korea. 
1960 The Soviet Union charged Gary Powers with espionage. He 
 was shot down in a U-2 spy plane. 
1963 All Cuban-owned assets in the United States were frozen. 
1981 The Solar Challenger became the frist solar-powered 
 airplane to cross the English Channel. 
1986 Kurt Waldheim was inaugurated as president of Austria 
 despite controversy over his alleged ties to Nazis when 
 he was a youngster.
1997 The Mayo Clinic and the U.S. government warned that the 
 diet-drug combination known as "fen-phen" could cause serious 
 heart and lung damage. 
1997 NATO invited Poland, Hungary, and the Czech Republic to 
 join the alliance in 1999. 
2010 The Solar Impulse completed the first 24-hour flight by a 
 solar powered plane.  
2015  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, July 7

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Maine man, who died after igniting fireworks on his head Details at Boneheads Today in 1846 U.S. annexation of California was proclaimed at Monterey after the surrender of a Mexican garrison. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic. --- David Russell The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. --- Will Rogers ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Here is an explanation of the school homework policy: Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner: 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment. ______________________________________________________ Did you hear about the constipated Mexican Ghost? He was full of sheet. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Victor for this one: Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Devon Staples, 22, Calais, Maine
Man killed after igniting fireworks on his head A former Walt Disney World employee has died after igniting fireworks on his head, multiple news outlets reported Sunday. Authorities said Devon Staples, 22, of Calais, Maine, was drinking at a party Saturday when he lit a fireworks mortar tube on his head, according to The Associated Press. He died instantly. "When he suggested he was going to do this, his friends gathered around him and they thought they had convinced him not to do it," Maine Department of Public Safety spokesman Stephen McCausland told the Bangor Daily News. But Staples' brother, Cody, who witnessed the incident, told the New York Daily News that Devon was just holding a lighter near the fireworks, causing them to accidentally fire. When the mortar went off into his head, he died instantly.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bonnie Re: How to send on the picture? Dear Webby I love the picture in today's humor letter & would like to send it to some friends who would get a real laugh from it too. How can I send it on? I am a technology impaired senior citizen, so please make it simple. Your new color combination is wonderful. Very easy on the eyes. Keep up the good work. My day wouldn't be complete without a giggle or two from you. Thanks a lot. Have a great day. Bonnie Dear Bonnie You can simply forward the Humor Letter to your friends, or you can send them a link to where it is on-line: http://webby.com/humor That web address is also easy enough to remember, so that you can read the humor letter at any library or cyber cafe while travelling, and let the real letter continue to go to your home address. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Tony and John met for the first time in twenty years. "So, how's life been for you?" Tony asked. "Not too good," John replied. "My first wife died of cancer, my second wife turned out to be a lesbian and ran off with another woman and took all our savings, my son's in prison for trying to kill me, my daughter got run over by a bus, my house was hit by a low-flying aircraft, my vintage car rolled off the dockside into the sea, I had to have my dog put down recently, my doctor says that I have an incurable disease and to cap it all my business has just gone bust." "Oh dear, that sounds terrible." Tony said. "What business were you in?" "I sell lucky charms," said John. ______________________________________________________ A loaded minivan pulls into the only remaining campsite. Four children leap from the vehicle and begin feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rush to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils. A nearby camper marvels to the youngsters' father, "That, sir, is some display of teamwork." "I have a system," says the father. "No one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Checking Eggs for Freshness We have 2 chickens and the eggs can stack up quickly sometimes. We collect our eggs in a basket on the counter. Then when the basket gets full, we put them into a sink full of water (at least a few inches above the eggs) to check their freshness and clean them. It's very easy to tell: If it FLOATS, it's bad and should be thrown out. If it STANDS ON END in the bottom of the sink, it's getting old and should be used first. If it LAYS ON ITS SIDE, it's great and very fresh. By lalala... ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Trigonometry for farmers: swine and cowswine. _____________________________________________________ Porridge: Budget conscious parent will tell you that it is a traditional, nutritious, lovingly prepared hot cereal breakfast dish. Kids will tell you that the name is an amalgamation of the words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE." ____________________________________________________
Dogs are awesome!

Today in 
1846 U.S. annexation of California was proclaimed at 
 Monterey after the surrender of a Mexican garrison. 
1862 The first railroad post office was tested on the 
 Hannibal and St. Joseph Railroad in Missouri. 
1885 G. Moore Peters patented the cartridge-loading machine. 
1917 Aleksandr Kerensky formed a provisional government 
 in Russia. 
1920 A device known as the radio compass was used for the 
 first time on a U.S. Navy airplane near Norfolk, VA. 
1930 Construction began on Boulder Dam, later Hoover Dam, 
 on the Colorado River. 
1937 Japanese forces invaded China. 
1950 The U.N. Security Council authorized military aid 
 for South Korea. 
1969 Canada's House of Commons gave final approval to a 
 measure that made the French language equal to English 
 throughout the national government. 
1983 Eleven-year-old Samantha Smith of Manchester, Maine, 
 left for a visit to the Soviet Union at the personal 
 invitation of Soviet leader Yuri V. Andropov. 
1994 Amazon.com, Inc. was founded in Seattle, Washington 
 under the name "Cadabra." 
1998 A jury in Santa Monica, CA, convicted Mikail Markhasev 
 of murdering Ennis Cosby, Bill Cosby's only son, during 
 a roadside robbery. 
2000 Cisco Systems Inc. announced that it would buy 
 Netiverse Inc. for $210 million in stock. It was the 13th 
 time Cisco had purchased a company in 2000. 
2000 Amazon.com announced that they had sold almost 400,000 
copies of "Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire," making it 
 the biggest selling book in e-tailing history. 
2015  smiled.


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Printer for all machines 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, July 6

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texan admits he killed his wife to 'Stop her talking' Details at Boneheads Today in 1885 Louis Pasteur successfully tested his anti-rabies vaccine. The child used in the test later became the director of the Pasteur Institute. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles. --- Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959) Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. --- Maryon Pearson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Just before our first long deployment, two Navy buddies and I were talking about the stress of leaving our families. A senior officer, a veteran of many deployments, overheard our conversation and offered the following advice: "You must be sensitive to your wives' emotional needs," he said. "Never, ever, whistle while you pack!" ______________________________________________________ A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger were unconscious and being attended to by an ambulance crew. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and nodded his head up and down. "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey nodded his head up and down. "Well, did you see this?" "Yes," motioned the monkey. "What happened?" The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth. "They were drinking beer?" asked the officer. The monkey nods his head "Yes." "What else?" The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth. "They were smoking marijuana?" The monkey nods his head "Yes." "What else?" The monkey motioned "kissing." "They were kissing, too?" asked the astounded officer. The monkey nods his head "Yes." "Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, smoking and kissing before they wrecked." The monkey nods his head "Yes." "What were you doing during all this?" ......."Driving" motioned the monkey. ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Jonathan Edelen, 34 Dallas, Texas
Man Admits He Killed His Wife To 'Stop her talking' A Texas man has confessed to smothering his wife with a pillow to "keep her quiet," according to reports. Jonathan Edelen, 34, told an officer to "put the cuffs on me and take me to jail," The Dallas Morning News reported. "I killed my wife,” Edelen told Dallas police, according to the Morning News. Edelen is now charged with murder in the death of Ceaira Ford, 28. Edelen told authorities that he and Ford argued Monday night after they purchased some marijuana and went to the grocery store. According to CBS Dallas-Fort Worth: Edelen complained that his wife wouldn’t stop talking. He picked up their television and took it onto the patio to destroy it so she would quiet down. When that didn’t work, Edelen said he put his hand over her mouth and she flipped over the patio railing onto a grassy area below. The fight then moved to the bedroom, where Edelen allegedly held a pillow over Ford's face until she stopped talking. Edelen did not call police until early Wednesday, according to NBC Dallas-Fort Worth. He confessed and was arrested some time after. He is charged with murder, with bond set at $500,000, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dani Re: Laser for all computers? Dear Webby I hope all is well with you. Will Laser Printers work with all computers? I have Window 7. Thanks, Dani Dear Dani Yes, they work with all computers and all operating sytems. A few Billion of them are used on Windows XP and W7 machines. A word of caution: Check the cost of replacement cartridges! For example, Staples sometimes sells a color laser printer for under $100, but expects you to pay $149 each for the 4 toner replacement cartridges. EACH. Drop THAT on their toes! Overall I found DELL to be a good and reliable deal for printers. They don't make them. They just sell them. Often they are the same machine as what Xerox sells, and use the same toner cartridges. Just different label on the machine. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "Look at ME!" boasted a man to a group of young people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups, fifty sit- ups and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women!" He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my 45th birthday!" "Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers, "How, with a bran muffin ? ______________________________________________________ That reminds me: A clerk in a bakery notices a customer carefully examining all the rich-looking pastries displayed on trays in the glass cases. "What would you like?" the clerk asks. "I'd like that chocolate-covered, cream-filled doughnut, that jelly-filled doughnut and that cheese Danish," the customer says. With a sigh he adds, "But I'll take an oat-bran muffin." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Checking Eggs for Freshness We have 2 chickens and the eggs can stack up quickly sometimes. We collect our eggs in a basket on the counter. Then when the basket gets full, we put them into a sink full of water (at least a few inches above the eggs) to check their freshness and clean them. It's very easy to tell: If it FLOATS, it's bad and should be thrown out. If it STANDS ON END in the bottom of the sink, it's getting old and should be used first. If it LAYS ON ITS SIDE, it's great and very fresh. By lalala... ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "That new girl in the typing pool is driving me crazy!" bemoaned Rich to Ernie. "That girl is a real mirage." "Aren't you using the wrong word?" asked Ernie. "A mirage is something you can see but that isn't quite all there." "Yeah," came the reply "That describes her exactly!" _____________________________________________________ The first week they were married Mick gave his wife almost all his wages for that week, except for fifty pence, which he kept for himself. The next pay-day his wife said to him "Mick, it must have been hard to manage on fifty pence for the week, I don't know how you did it." "You will" he said grimly, "It's your turn to have fifty pence this week." ____________________________________________________
The amazing, hardy people of Mongolia.

Today in 
1483 King Richard III of England was crowned. 
1699 Captain William Kidd, the pirate, was captured in 
 Boston, MA, and deported back to England. 
1777 British forces captured Fort Ticonderoga during the 
 American Revolution. 
1858 Lyman Blake patented the shoe manufacturing machine. 
1885 Louis Pasteur successfully tested his anti-rabies 
 vaccine. The child used in the test later became the director 
 of the Pasteur Institute. 
1905 Fingerprints were exchanged for the first time between 
 officials in Europe and the U.S. The person in question was 
 John Walker.
1917 During World War I, Arab forces led by T.E. Lawrence 
 captured the port of Aqaba from the Turks. 
1919 A British dirigible landed in New York at Roosevelt 
 Field. It completed the first crossing of the Atlantic 
 Ocean by an airship. 
1923 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was established. 
1966 Malawi became a republic within the Commonwealth with 
 Dr. Hastings Banda as its first president. 
1967 The Biafran War erupted. The war lasted two-and-a-half 
 years. About 600,000 people died. 
1981 Former President of Argentina Isabel Peron was freed 
 after five years of house arrest by a federal court. 
1981 The Dupont Company announced an agreement to purchase 
 Conoco, Inc. (Continental Oil Co.) for $7 billion. At the 
 time it was the largest merger in corporate history. 
1983 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that retirement plans could 
 not pay women smaller monthly payments solely because of 
 their gender. 
1988 Several popular beaches were closed in New York City 
 due to medical waste and other debris began washing up on 
 the seashores. 
1989 The U.S. Army destroyed its last Pershing 1-A missiles 
 at an ammunition plant in Karnack, TX. The dismantling was 
 under the terms of the 1987 Intermediate-range Nuclear 
 Forces Treaty. 
1997 The Mars Pathfinder released Sojourner, a robot rover 
 on the surface of Mars. The spacecraft landed on the red 
 planet on July 4th. 
1997 In Cambodia, Second Prime Minister Hun Sen ousted First 
 Prime Minister Norodom Ranariddh and claimed to have the 
 capital under his control. 
1998 Protestants rioted in many parts of Northern Ireland 
 after British authorities blocked an Orange Order march 
 in Portadown. 
2000 A jury awarded former NHL player Tony Twist $24 million 
 for the unauthorized use of his name in the comic book 
 Spawn and the HBO cartoon series. Co-defendant HBO settled 
 with Twist out of court for an undisclosed amount. 
2015  smiled.


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Is there a Laser for all computers? 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, July 5

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texan jumped into bayou at night, with predictable results Alligator killed him. Details at Boneheads Today in 1865 William Booth founded the Salvation Army in London. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. --- Truman Capote (1924 - 1984) For every person who wants to teach there are approximately thirty people who don't want to learn--much. -- W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Gotta love them Southern boys. We visited Raleigh, NC, where a state cop stopped a drunken driver. While he was ticketing the man, there was a multi-car accident on the other side of the divided highway. The highway patrolman told the drunk to wait. The patrolman went across the highway to sort out the accident. After awhile the drunk figured he'd waited long enough and he drove on home and told his wife that if anybody asked she should say he had been in bed with the flu all day. Within the hour, two state patrolmen appeared at the home of the drunken driver and asked to see him. He came from the bedroom wrapped in a robe and coughing and wheezing. The patrolman asked if he'd been drinking that evening, and he said he'd been sick in bed. They apologized for bothering him and asked if they could take a look at his car. The drunk escorted them to the garage and inside was - a highway patrol car, the blue lights still flashing. ______________________________________________________ A shoplifter is caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," says the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble. What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this?" The manager agrees, writes up the sales slip and hands it to the would-be thief. The crook looks at the slip and says, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?" ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Tommie Woodward, 28 Burkart's Marina, Texas
Man mocks alligators, jumps into the water and is killed A man who apparently mocked alligators, then jumped into the water -- despite warning signs -- is dead after being attacked in Texas. Orange County Police were called to Burkart's Marina near the Louisiana state line early Friday morning after reports that Tommie Woodward, 28, and an unidentified woman were swimming in a bayou and had been attacked by a large alligator. Woodward's body was found several hours later. The woman was not injured. Orange County Justice of the Peace Rodney Price told CNN affiliate KFDM that Woodward ignored verbal warnings and a posted "No Swimming Alligators" sign and seemed to mock the deadly creatures before going in the water. "He removed his shirt, removed his billfold ... someone shouted a warning and he said '@#$% the alligators' and jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help," Price said. The "No Swimming Alligators" sign was posted this week after a 10-foot alligator was spotted in the bayou waters. Witness heard 'An alligator's got him' "Please do not go swimming, there's a bigger alligator out here. Just please stay out of the water," witness and marina employee Michelle Wright said she told Woodward. She said the next thing she heard was the woman screaming, "An alligator's got him." Wright said she used a flashlight in the darkness to scan the water. In an emotional interview with KFDM, Wright said, "I saw his body floating face down. And then he's out there for a couple of seconds and then he's dragged back down. And then he comes back up still face down and then he gets pulled down again. And then he just disappears." Wright, who said she knew the victim and his family, said it was a moment she would never forget. She described the events that started out as a late night swim as "heartbreaking." Woodward had recently moved to the area from St. Louis with his twin brother and was working at a nearby shipyard. 'If the sun is down, stay out of the water' Alligators are predatory and territorial. According to Texas Parks and Wildlife, the creature "will eat anything it can catch," and should be treated with caution. "If the sun is down, stay out the water. That's when they're eating. That's when they're hunting," alligator expert Arlie Hammonds told the affiliate. Although there have been numerous fatal alligator attacks in Florida, the Orange County attack may be the first of its kind in Texas.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dani Re: Laser for all computers? Dear Webby I hope all is well with you. Will Laser Printers work with all computers? I have Window 7. Thanks, Dani Dear Dani Yes, they work with all computers and all operating sytems. A few Billion of them are used on Windows XP and W7 machines. A word of caution: Check the cost of replacement cartridges! For example, Staples sometimes sells a color laser printer for under $100, but expects you to pay $149 each for the 4 toner replacement cartridges. EACH. Drop THAT on their toes! Overall I found DELL to be a good and reliable deal for printers. They don't make them. They just sell them. Often they are the same machine as what Xerox sells, and use the same toner cartridges. Just different label on the machine. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A mother and father are talking about how to improve the behavior of their seemingly incorrigible son. "Maybe we should buy him a bike for his birthday," the mother suggests. "Do you really believe that will help improve his behavior?" her husband asks. "Well, no," she admits. "But it would spread the damage over a wider area." ______________________________________________________ Two young women -- best friends -- try to do everything together. One day, one announces that she is going to start a diet to lose the pounds she has recently gained. "Good," the other exclaims. "I'm ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. And when I feel the urge to drive out and get a burger and fries, I'll call you first." "Great," the first woman replies. "I'll ride with you. Let's go to Burger King." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Key Hook from Binder Clip Keys hanging from a binder clip. I recently found some keys from my roommate's yard sale stash. I was looking around and found one of these wonderful binder clips on a shelf unit. I flipped up the top and voila', instant key hook. By Sandi/Poor But Proud ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!" _____________________________________________________ One day, Little Johnny visited a doctor for a vaccination. After the doctor gave him an injection, he tried to bandage Little Johnny's arm. "I think you'd better bandage the other arm", said Little Johnny. "But, why? I'm supposed to bandage the injected part of your arm to let your friends know not to touch it." "Doc, you really don't have a clue about how those idiots behave!" ____________________________________________________
Great idea, wood pallet floors!

Today in 
1806 A Spanish army repelled the British during their attempt 
 to retake Buenos Aires, Argentina. 
1811 Venezuela became the first South American country to 
 declare independence from Spain. 
1830 France occupied the North African city of Algiers. 
1832 The German government began curtailing freedom of the 
 press after German Democrats advocate a revolt against 
 Austrian rule. 
1839 British naval forces bombarded Dingai on Zhoushan 
 Island in China and then occupied it. 
1863 U.S. Federal troops occupied Vicksburg, MS, and 
 distributed supplies to the citizens. 
1865 William Booth founded the Salvation Army in London. 
1865 The U.S. Secret Service Division was created to 
 combat currency counterfeiting, forging and the altering 
 of currency and securities.. 
1892 Andrew Beard was issued a patent for the rotary engine. 
1916 Adelina and August Van Buren started on the first 
 successful transcontinental motorcycle tour to be attempted 
 by two women. They started in New York City and arrived in 
 San Diego, CA, on September 12, 1916. 
1935 U.S. President Roosevelt signed the National Labor 
 Relations Act into law. The act authorized labor to organize 
 for the purpose of collective bargaining. 
1940 During World War II, Britain and the Vichy government 
 in France broke diplomatic relations. 
1941 German troops reached the Dnieper River in the Soviet Union. 
1943 The battle of Kursk began as German tanks attack the 
 Soviet salient. It was the largest tank battle in history. 
1946 The bikini bathing suit, created by Louis Reard, made 
 its debut during a fashion show at the Molitor Pool in Paris. 
 Micheline Bernardini wore the two-piece outfit. 
1950 U.S. forces engaged the North Koreans for the first time 
 at Osan, South Korea. 
1951 Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented the 
 junction transistor. 
1962 Algeria became independent after 132 years of French rule. 
1984 The U.S. Supreme Court weakened the 70-year-old 
 "exclusionary rule," deciding that evidence seized with 
 defective court warrants could be used against defendants 
 in criminal trials. 
1991 Regulators shut down the Pakistani-managed Bank of Credit 
 and Commerce International (BCCI) in eight countries. The 
 charge was fraud, drug money laundering and illegal 
 infiltration into the U.S. banking system. 
1998 Japan joined U.S. and Russia in space exploration with 
 the launching of the Planet-B probe to Mars. 
2000 Jordanian security agents shot and killed a Syrian hijacker 
 after he threw a grenade that exploded and wounded 15 passengers 
 aboard a Royal Jordanian airliner. 
2000 Euan Blair, the oldest son of British prime minister 
 Tony Blair, was arrested after police found him drunk and 
 lying on the ground in London's Leicester Square. 
2015  smiled.


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Humor: Wall Soap 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, July 4

Happy Independence Day!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


ths
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Chicago man killed girlfriend and bragged about it on Facebook Details at Boneheads Today in 1776 The amended Declaration of Independence, prepared by Thomas Jefferson, was approved and signed by John Hancock, the President of the Continental Congress in America. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them. --- Galileo Galilei (1564 - 1642) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The factory of the future will have two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog, and the dog will be there to keep the man from touching the computers. ______________________________________________________ A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by James E. Thomas, 49 Chicago, Illinois
Just days before the killing, police officers transported James E. Thomas, 49, to Stroger Hospital for a mental evaluation, police said. Thomas is now charged with first-degree murder and aggravated assault to a peace officer with a weapon. Thomas posted on Vanessa Taylor's Facebook page: " My gitlfriend was part. Of the mob she came to kill me so i killed her " After that, police found Vanessa V. Taylor, 49, unresponsive at about 2:30 a.m. Tuesday in the apartment she shared with Thomas in the 4300 block of W. Flournoy. She had been strangled with a computer cord, police said. Police had responded to another disturbance at the apartment, Sunday night. Thomas was not arrested at that time but was transported to Stroger Hospital for a mental evaluation, police said. He was released from the hospital the next day and less than 24 hours later Taylor was dead, according to the couple’s landlord, Jana Hardwick.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: DJ Re: Soap Dear Webby could you ask linda where she found that soap. there's nothing like that in milwaukee DJ Hi DJ You can go to thriftyfun.com and post feedback to Lina D http://www.thriftyfun.com/Cleaning-Nico ... lls-3.html At the bottom of that. Also, Dr Bronner does have a site: https://www.drbronner.com/DBMS/category/ALMOND.html and the more expensive vegetarian stores will probably have it. Be aware, though, that fancy Castille Almond stuff is extremely expensive! $64 per gallon ! You can accomplish the same with Simple Green from the automotive care products isle at Home Depot or Walmart. TSP from the paint products isle works too. With Simple Green and TSP you dilute them with water. Be aware that if you toss the used wash water when using TSP out onto your lawn, you will get a darker green splotch. That TSP used to be the active part of laundry soap and dish soap, and caused vegetation in rivers and canals to become a real problem by the late 60's. Since the early 70's many laundry detergents advertise "No phospates!", meaning "No TSP". Painters and professional cleaners still use the stuff, and you can too. Just don't keep using it for laundry all year long and other stuff once your walls are clean. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ David's wife was mad at him, because he forgot her birthday. Quick-witted, David said, "But how do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?" ______________________________________________________ One day a man called the church office. He said, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?" The secretary thought she heard what he said, but said, "I'm sorry, who?" The caller repeated, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?" She said, "Well, if you mean the preacher, then you may refer to him as 'Pastor,' or 'Brother,' but I prefer that you not refer to him as the 'head hog at the trough'!" To this the man replied, "Well, I was planning on giving $100,000 to the building fund...." To this the secretary quickly responded "Hang on, I think the big fat pig just waddled in!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Vinegar Fruit Fly Trap To catch fruit flies in the house, I keep apple cider vinegar in a couple of 6 ounce jelly jars placed around the house and accessible all the time. I like the jar idea because the plastic is held in place with a jar band. The container is small and can easily be placed in any area of the house. To make this trap, fill about 1/3 or the jar with apple cider vinegar. Cover it with plastic wrap and screw the jar band on. Punch a small hole in the middle of the plastic on top. Trim off the excess plastic wrap on outside of jar. The fruit fly goes in and can't get out. By Litter Gitter [123] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ At one point in my life I had considered joining the Baptist Church. For those of you who don't know, the Baptists practice total body immersion to baptize a person. Luckily I even knew a minister in that faith, having dated his daughter, and I asked him if he would consider performing the service. He paused a minute or two, gave me a long thoughtful look and said, "If you're serious about this, a dipping just won't do it for you. We'll have to find a place to anchor you overnight." _____________________________________________________ Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat. And then there are those of us who consider a recipe as an approximate starting point for wild experiments and wacky changes, and who get impatient when other people can't get the same delicious results when they follow a simple recipe. ____________________________________________________
The many shades of red hair.

Today in 
1776 The amended Declaration of Independence, prepared by 
 Thomas Jefferson, was approved and signed by John Hancock, 
 the President of the Continental Congress in America. 
1803 The Louisiana Purchase was announced in newspapers. 
 The property was purchased, by the U.S. from France, was 
 for $15 million (or 3 cents an acre). The "Corps of 
 Discovery," led by Meriwether Lewis and William Clark, 
 began the exploration of the territory on May 14, 1804. 
1817 Construction began on the Erie Canal, to connect 
 Lake Erie and the Hudson River. 
1845 American writer Henry David Thoreau began his 
 two-year experiment in simple living at Walden Pond, 
 near Concord, MA. 
1884 Bullfighting was introduced in the U.S. in Dodge City, KS. 
1886 The first US rodeo in America was held at Prescott, AZ. 
1892 The first double-decked street car service was 
 inaugurated in San Diego, CA. 
1894 After seizing power, Judge Stanford B. Dole declared 
 Hawaii a republic. 
1901 William H. Taft became the American governor of the 
 Philippines. 
1910 Race riots broke out all over the United States after 
 African-American Jack Johnson knocked out Jim Jeffries 
 in a heavyweight boxing match. 
1934 Boxer Joe Louis won his first professional fight. 
1934 At Mount Rushmore, George Washington's face was 
 dedicated. 
1946 The Philippines achieved full independence for the 
 first time in over four hundred years. 
1960 The 50-star U.S. flag made its debut in Philadelphia, PA. 
1966 U.S. President Johnson signed the Freedom of 
 Information Act, which went into effect the following year. 
1982 The Soviets performed a nuclear test at Eastern Kazakhl 
 Semipalitinsk. 
1987 Klaus Barbie, the former Gestapo chief known as the 
 "Butcher of Lyon," was convicted by a French court of 
 crimes against humanity and sentenced to life in prison. 
1997 The Mars Pathfinder, an unmanned spacecraft, landed 
 on Mars. A rover named Sojourner was deployed to gather 
 data about the surface of the planet. 
1997 Ferry service between Manhattan and Staten Island 
 was made free of charge. Previously, the charge had 
 ranged from 5 cents to 50 cents. 
2005 NASA's Deep Impact spacecraft took pictures as a 
 space probe smashed into the Tempel 1 comet. The mission 
 was aimed at learning more about comets that formed 
 from the leftover buidling blocks of the solar system. 
 The Deep Impact mission launched on January 12, 2005. 
2009 North Korea launched seven ballistic missiles into 
 waters off its east coast that defied U.N. resolutions. 
2009 The Statue of Liberty's crown reopened to visitors. 
 It had been closed to the public since 2001. 
2015  smiled.


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Gas from printer 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, July 3
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you, Lynn!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Geporgia man, who put Roundup in a coworker's water. Details at Boneheads Today in 1790 In Paris, the marquis of Condorcet proposed granting civil rights to women. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm. --- Vince Lombardi The best way to become acquainted with a subject is to write a book about it. --- Benjamin Disraeli "I have never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him." --- Galileo Galilei (1564-1642) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Moe A Retired Person's Perspective: 1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out. 2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now. 3. You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. If they are holding a gun, she's probably ticked. 4. Gone are the days when girls cooked like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers. 5. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone you've just met? That's common sense leaving your body. 6. I don't like making plans for the day because, then, the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom. 7. I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes 1,500 days in a row. 8. I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it 'the Jim'. I feel so much better saying I went to 'the Jim' this morning. 9. Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers: If you find one, what's your plan? 10. Everyone has a right to be stupid. Politicians just abuse the privilege. ______________________________________________________ I've noticed the oddest behavior with yuppettes. The only time they won't look in a mirror is when they're pulling out of a parking space. Two Yuppies were discussing their current relationships: "At first she seemed dull and uninteresting, but when you finally get to know her, she's downright boring." ______________________________________________________ Getty Images is hassling me, demanding an outrageous amount of money for using a picture, that has been posted to a public domain site over four years ago, without any indication, that somebody will demand payment AFTER it has been used. They demand more than I make of the Humor Letter in 3 years. I simply don't have that kind of money. If the Humor Letter suddenly stops, I'll be in jail. So no more pictures except for those taken by my dad or me, or taken and submitted by you. Instead, here is a random picture at Imgur. Random Picture at Imgur Random pictures are of course not carefully selected by me and could be awful, but theoretically should be family safe. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anthony Dunton 65, Acworth, Georgia
Georgia man tried to poison his co-worker MULTIPLE TIMES by putting weedkiller in his water bottle A Georgia man has been arrested after police say he put weed killer in his co-worker's water bottle. Multiple news outlets report Anthony Dunton was arrested Saturday and charged with four counts of aggravated assault after police say he put Roundup weed and grass killer in the victim's water. Acworth police say Dunton's co-worker realized his water tasted funny and foamed when shaken. Police say the co-worker set up a camera in his office and filmed two videos from two different days showing Dunton entering the office, removing the bottle and returning it moments later. The employee alerted management, who alerted police. Authorities arrested Anthony Dunton after an investigation. Dunton's co-worker was not seriously injured, but sought treatment after experiencing kidney pain.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ann Re: Laser gas Dear Webby What kind of gas is released when by Laser printers when they melt the toner into the paper? It's not an offensive smelly gas, but definitely noticeable. What is it? Ann Dear Ann That is just Ozone. The stuff the treehuggers said was getting short and that holes in the ozone layer were letting the sun through and tanning you without having to buy artificial tanning spray. The ozone shortage scare has since then be debunked when they invented other stuff to scare you with. The Ozone in the Laser printer is generated by the high voltage wires. You also smell it after a nearby lightning strike or in a welding shop. In small quantities like that it is totally harmless. Ozone is also used for keeping swimming pools clean, especially if somebody does not like chlorine. You frequently smell a bit of ozone at waterfalls and at the ocean, if you are suddenly get there from far away and your nose is not already bored with it and ignores it. It is quite safe. Don't worry about it. Have Fun! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he'd asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too cold, then he asked it be turned down because he was too hot, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. Finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest. "Oh I don't care." said the waiter with a smile. "We don't have an air conditioner anyway." ______________________________________________________ While the US stock market is at an all time high, the ups and downs frighten a lot of small investors like me. Bob went to his financial advisor at the bank and ask if he were worried. He replied that he slept like a baby. Bob was amazed and asked, "Really ??? Even with all the fluctuations?" He said, "Yes. I sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up and cry for a couple of hours." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Nicotine Off Walls Our apartment has been smoked in for 15 years. All walls were originally painted white, but now are a lovely shade of yellow/brown. We decided to stop smoking (yay us!), so now I have begun the arduous task of cleaning walls. I've tried many of the tips here. Great tips all, however, none quite up to the challenge. Last week, I spilled some Dr. Bronner's almond castile soap on my grill. The grease disappeared completely when I wiped it off! Today, I tackled the smallest room. I put the castile soap directly on a Dobie, scrubbed the wall, wiped it with a hot damp microfiber and voila! Came. Right. Off! I didn't even wear gloves, and the smell is fantastic! Next comes the fresh paint! Hope this helps someone. I love this site :) By Lina D [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bob and his wife have structured conversations: firstly, she gives him her opinion, then she gives him his opinion. _____________________________________________________ A guy walks in a bar, and buys a huge beer. Then he sees someone he knows, and decides to go and say Hi ! to them, but he does not want to take his beer mug with him. So he keeps it on a table, along with a note "I spit in this beer" thinking that no one will have it then. Upon return, he sees it half empty and another note saying "Me too!" ____________________________________________________
Can you hula hoop like this?

Today in 
1608 The city of Quebec was founded by Samuel de Champlain.
1790 In Paris, the marquis of Condorcet proposed granting 
 civil rights to women. 
1844 Ambassador Caleb Cushing successfully negotiated a 
 commercial treaty with China that opened five Chinese ports 
 to U.S. merchants and protected the rights of American 
 citizens in China. 
1863 The U.S. Civil War Battle of Gettysburg, PA, ended 
 after three days. It was a major victory for the North 
 as Confederate troops retreated. 
1871 The Denver and Rio Grande Western Railroad Company 
 introduced the first narrow-gauge locomotive. It was 
 called the "Montezuma." 
1878 John Wise flew the first US dirigible in Lancaster, PA. 
1898 During the Spanish American War, a fleet of Spanish 
 ships in Cuba's Santiago Harbor attempted to run a blockade 
 of U.S. naval forces. Nearly all of the Spanish ships were 
 destroyed in the battle that followed. 
1903 The first cable across the Pacific Ocean was spliced 
 between Honolulu, Midway, Guam and Manila. 
1937 Del Mar race track opened in Del Mar, CA. 
1939 Chic Young’s comic strip character, "Blondie" was first 
 heard on CBS radio. 
1940 Bud Abbott and Lou Costello debuted on NBC radio. 
1944 The U.S. First Army opened a general offensive to break 
 out of the hedgerow area of Normandy, France. 
1944 During World War II, Soviet forces recaptured Minsk. 
1945 The first civilian passenger car built since February 
 1942 was driven off the assembly line at the Ford Motor 
 Company plant in Detroit, MI. Production had been diverted 
 due to World War II. 
1950 U.S. carrier-based planes attacked airfields in the 
 Pyongyang-Chinnampo area of North Korea in the first 
 air-strike of the Korean War. 
1954 Food rationing ended in Great Britain. 
1974 The Threshold Test Ban Treaty was signed, prohibiting 
 underground nuclear weapons tests with yields greater than 
 150 kilotons. Nobody limited their tests.
1981 The Associated Press ran its first story about two rare 
 illnesses afflicting homosexual men. One of the diseases 
 was later named AIDS. 
1986 U.S. President Reagan presided over a ceremony in New 
 York Harbor that saw the relighting of the renovated Statue 
 of Liberty. 
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush formally inaugurated 
 the Mount Rushmore National Memorial in South Dakota. 
2015  smiled.


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