Spybot 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, July 21
Today I have to go to Calgary for injections
into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters on Friday,
Saturday or Sunday. Monday I'll be back.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Texas Waffle House Robber Armed with AK-47 is shot by customer armed witrh legal hand gun Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 21, in 1861 - The first major battle of the U.S. Civil War began. It was the Battle of Bull Run at Manassas Junction, VA. The Confederates won the battle. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Patience has its limits. Take it too far, and it's cowardice. --- George Jackson (1941 - 1971) "There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it." --- Mary Wilson Little ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At the exclusive restaurant where I work, a party of diners was exhausting the waiter with relentless demands. Through it all, he remained professional. Finally, after leavin a very shabby tip, one of the patrons asked the waiter to take the group's picture, and ranted at reunion they can have because some of them are getting too old to leace their nursing homes. He did take 3 pictures, from their necks on down.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
My Parents had not been out together in quite some time. One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her. "Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked. Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!" They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of it that Dad confessed. His question had actually been directed to the family dog, lying near Mom's feet on the kitchen floor, and he had been afraid she might step back and trip over the dog. ______________________________________________________ My sister was bemoaning the fact that she had procrastinated cleaning and organizing her house for a long time. Since she was planning to entertain, she felt a lot of pressure to get moving. That afternoon she phoned, sounding glum. "I went to the bookstore," she explained, "and I bought a book on how to get organized. I was all fired up, and decided to clean out all the shelves in the living room. While I was working, I found two copies of the same darn book. I had bought them a few years ago." ______________________________________________________ Delonix ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Antoine Devon Cooper, 26, Dallas, Texas Texas Waffle House Robber Armed with AK-47 is shot by customer armed witrh legal hand gun A man armed with an AK-47 is alleged to have entered a Waffle House in DeSoto, Texas, in the early morning hours last Thursday. The robbery suspect was not counting on the presence of a Texan with a Handgun License to Carry. The alleged robber, described as a black man in his mid- twenties, entered the DeSoto Waffle House at about 2:30 a.m. on July 7, while armed with an AK-47 rifle, information obtained by Breitbart Texas from the DeSoto Police Department revealed. After robbing several of the customers, the man walked out of the diner. One of the customers followed the man out of the restaurant and attempted to stop him. The customer knew that his wife was on her way to the Waffle House and feared she might be in danger in the parking lot. He was afraid the armed man might harm her or others in the parking lot, officials said. After following the man out of the Waffle House, the customer called out to the robber who turned and pointed the rifle at him. The customer fired several shots from his handgun and stopped the robber. Police officers arrived on the scene a short time later and found the robber lying in the parking lot. He was transported to a local hospital where he remains in critical condition. Originally, the suspect had not yet been identified and police were asking for the public’s assistance in figuring out who the man is. Overnight, the police learned the man is 26-year-old Antoine Devon Cooper of Dallas, Sergeant Nic Bristow told Breitbart Texas Thursday morning. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lis RE: Spybot Dear Webby, You have mentioned Spybot a number of times. Where do I get it? Lis Dear Lis It is at https://www.safer-networking.org/dl/ or you can go to my tool box at http://webby.com/tools and scroll down to the big blue button marked Spypot Search & Destroy. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to attend a meeting. He tried unsuccessfully to locate his car-pool members to let them know that he would not be leaving with them. Hastily he scribbled a message to one fellow and left it on his desk: "I have a last-minute meeting. Leave without me. Dave." At 7:00 p.m., the man stopped at his desk and found this note: "Meet us at the bar and grill across the street. Thursday is YOUR day to drive, you Bozo!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Frosted Banana Bread Squares By Jackie H. Ingredients: 1-1/2 cup sugar 1 cup sour cream 3/4 cup butter (1 1/2 sticks), softened 2 jumbo eggs (I use only jumbo) 4-5 mashed ripened bananas 2 tsp vanilla 1 pkg (8oz) cream cheese, softened 2-1/2 cup all purpose flour 1 tsp baking soda 1 tsp baking powder 1 tsp nutmeg 3/4 tsp salt 1/2 cup chopped walnuts (opt) Brown Butter Cream Cheese Frosting 1/2 cup butter 1 pkg (8oz) cream cheese, softened 4 cups powdered sugar 1-1/2 tsp vanilla 3 Tbsp milk (I use vanilla dairy creamer) Steps: Preheat oven 375 degrees F. Grease and flour a 15x10 inch jelly roll pan. In a large bowl, beat together sugar, sour cream, butter, and eggs until creamy. Add softened cream cheese & vanilla. Then fold in the bananas. In another bowl, mix the flour, baking soda, powder, salt & nutmeg and stir. Add the flour mix to the cream mixture. Add walnuts if you choose. Blend for 1 minute. Spread batter evenly into pan. Bake for 20 - 25 minutes or until golden brown. Meanwhile, for frosting, heat butter in a large saucepan over medium heat until boiling. Let the butter turn a delicate brown and remove from the heat. Add powdered sugar, vanilla, softened butter, softened cream cheese & creamer or milk. Whisk together until all is very smooth. Frosting will be thicker than a glaze but thinner than a frosting. Using a spatula, frost the bars while still slightly warm. Enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Re Govt bigshots parking in student parking lots: Don't they realize that: (I'm talking about middle school or college students here) It takes 8 students 4 seconds to grunt a car onto it's roof. 16 students can lift a car and jog with it. (stick half inch iron water pipe through under the car and use the protruding ends as comfortable carry-handles) It takes 6 students, a bit of grunting, 4 cement blocks, 4 speed-wrenches and 20 seconds to remove 4 wheels and two license plates. Two students with a tube of Crazy Glue can "ice" both door locks while they walk past them, without slowing down. Girls like smearing a big gobs of ketchup with rubber tarantulas in it under the door handles. Macho guys prefer to use fibre-gum, a slow drying and VERY sticky roofing gunk. Splat's of white acrylic paint mixed with Poly-Filla make very authentic looking pigeon droppings that are very difficult to remove. It takes one student 4 seconds to pry the top of a car door open wide enough for the muzzle of a water gun, and completely soak the driver's seat with skunk-oil. It takes a skinny student about a minute to connect a wire from the brake pedal sensor to the horn relay. A roof rack with a pile of empty boxes, a few paint rollers and water soluble paint, and a fake fox tail on the antenna, is all you need to make a car, that has been carried over 4 spots, totally unrecognizable to it's owner. 4 students can lift a corner of a car enough to kick a skate board under the wheel. Makes it easy to inconspicuously move a car. Be careful on sloped parking lots! A mangled old shopping cart wedged solidly under a car, which has been partially lifted by a few students, will generally get the driver into the bad books of any cop led to the scene. Old baby strollers from the dump work even better. And then there's always the old skunk in the trunk trick. Oh, the good old days! ___________________________________________________
Never trust a monkey/chimp - whatever
____________________________________________________ There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler, at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot. When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. The motorist went up to him and said, "I don't mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?" To which the trucker replied, "Sorry, can't talk now, I have 20 tons of canarries and a 10 ton limit, so i have to keep half of them flying at all times." ____________________________________________________ A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he can do. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town grouch. So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. So he goes and tells the doctor, "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin to do?" The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43." Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells. "I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor. So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!" Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43..." Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office. ____________________________________________________
A fun and somehow soothing video to watch.

Today on July 21
1831 - Belgium became independent as Leopold I was
proclaimed King of the Belgians. 

1861 - The first major battle of the U.S. Civil War began.
It was the Battle of Bull Run at Manassas Junction, VA. The
Confederates won the battle. 

1925 - The "Monkey Trial" ended in Dayton, TN. John T.
Scopes was convicted and fined $100 for violating the state
prohibition on teaching Darwin's theory of evolution. The
conviction was later overturned on a legal technicality
because the judge had set the fine instead of the jury. 

1930 - The Veterans Administration of the United States was
established. 

1940 - Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia were annexed by the
Soviet Union. 

1944 - American forces landed on Guam during World War II. 

1949 - The U.S. Senate ratified the North Atlantic Treaty. 

1954 - The Geneva Conference partitioned Vietnam into North
Vietnam and South Vietnam. 

1959 - A U.S. District Court judge in New York City ruled
that "Lady Chatterley’s Lover" was not a dirty book. 

1961 - Captain Virgil "Gus" Grissom became the second
American to rocket into a sub-orbital pattern around the
Earth. He was flying on the Liberty Bell 7. 

1968 - Arnold Palmer became the first golfer to make a
million dollars in career earnings after he tied for second
place at the PGA Championship. 

1980 - Draft registration began in the United States for 19
and 20-year-old men. 

1997 - The U.S.S. Constitution, which defended the United
States during the War of 1812, set sail under its own power
for the first time in 116 years. 

2000 - NBC announced that they had found nearly all of
Milton Berle's kinescopes. The filmed recordings of Berle's
early TV shows had been the subject of a $30 million lawsuit
filed by Berle the previous May. 

2002 - WorldCom Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy
protection. At the time it was the largest bankruptcy in
U.S. history. 

2004 - White House officials were briefed on the September
11 commission's final report. The 575-page report concluded
that hijackers exploited "deep institutional failings within
our government." The report was released to the public the
next day. 

2007 - The seventh and last book of the Harry Potter series,
"Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," was released. 

2011 - Space Shuttle Atlantis landed at Kennedy Space Center
in Florida. It was the last flight of NASA's space shuttle
program. 

2016  smiled.


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How to carry data from home to office and back 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, July 20
Tomorrow I have to go to Calgary for injections
into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters on Friday,
Saturday or Sunday. Monday I'll be back.

Beautiful full moon out!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: 27 year old grandson beats his 78 year old grandfather with his own cane. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 20, in 1801 A 1,235 pound cheese ball was pressed at the farm of Elisha Brown, Jr. The ball of cheese was later loaded on a horse-driven wagon and presented to U.S. President Thomas Jefferson at the White House. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them: that's the essense of inhumanity. --- George Bernard Shaw ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ It was after 3 a.m. in the fancy restaurant, and all the guests but one had gone home. The last guest was sleeping at his table. The cleaning lady, irritated that she was delayed in doing her job, turned to the restaurant owner. "I've seen you shake the old fool and wake him up five times," she said. "Why don't you make him go home?" "No way !" answered the owner cheerfully. "Every time I wake him up, he asks for his bill and pays it! You go on home. I'll clean his table."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Tired of having to balance Cindy's checkbook, Mike made a deal with her; he would look at it, but only after she had spent some time trying to wrestle it into shape. The following night, after spending hours poring over stubs and figures, Cindy said proudly, "I've done it! I made it balance!" Impressed, Mike came over to take a look. "Let's see... mortgage 550.00, electricity 70.50, phone 35.00." His brow wrinkled as he read the last entry. "It says here ESP, $615. What the heck is that?" "Oh," she said, "That means, Error Some Place!" ______________________________________________________ Millie's kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean tee shirt to class. She told Moe that the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it. Millie frantically swept through their daughter's room, finding nothing usable but one tee shirt that already had something printed on one side. She sent it off to school with their daughter. That afternoon, the daughter returned and happily showed off her shirt. On one side it said, "Families are Forever." And on the other, "Be Smart, Don't Start." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Charles J. Trione, 27, Caseyville, Illinois 27 year old grandson beats his 78 year old grandfather with his own cane. Police say a 78-year-old Caseyville man was beaten with his own cane, by his grandson, during an argument over who ate the last of the leftover pizza. St. Clair County prosecutors on Friday charged Charles J. Trione, 27, with aggravted battery and domestic battery. Caseyville Police Sgt. Gerard Spratt gave the following account: Police were called to the 300 block of Bethel Mine Road on the night of June 30 for a report of a domestic disturbance. “The disturbance was over who ate the last of the pizza in the refrigerator at the house,” Spratt said. He said Trione pushed his grandfather to the floor in the kitchen and then beat him with the grandfather’s cane. When police arrived, the suspect was gone. The 78-year-old had head injuries which were not life-threatening. Caseyville Police and St. Clair County sheriff’s deputies located Trione on Wednesday in Caseyville. The case was turned over to the state’s attorney’s office. Bail for Trione was set at $75,000, and he remained in custody as of Saturday at the St. Clair County Jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Fanny RE: Carry data Dear Webby, I'm a teacher and will be at a different school this fall. At this school I get to ride the school bus, as long as I carry a big wooden spoon and keep the riots on the bus under control. I'm sure it won't be that bad, but they definitely advised that I don't carry my laptop along. I used the laptop mostly to carry the data between the school computer and my home machine. What would you recommend for carrying my preparations and homework between home and school ? Fanny Dear Fanny The most civilized way would be to get yourself a little web site, upload the day's data to there before you leave home, and download it into the school machine when you get there. All you "carry" is your password. Second best is to get an SD card and a reader. The reader just plugs into a USB port and makes the flash card another drive. Flash cards come from 2 to 128 GB They are small enough that you can sew a little pocket for one onto the inside of a regular belt. If you have a belt with little pockets for parking meter change, that will do just fine. The readers are between $9 and $20, depending on options. The $9 kind that I use works just fine. You can leave those attached to the computers and only take the little flash card along. With 2 GB you can easily fit a year's data onto it, and run your applications using the data right on the flash card. No need to copy it to the computer first. Of course, the first time you forget to take the memory card along you will wish you had gone with the option I mentioned first. Depending on how good YOUR memory is, you might find it easier to pay $2.50 a month for commercial grade web space. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Groan Alert Teacher: "Have you ever hunted bear?" Little Johnny: "No, but I've gone fishing in my shorts." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Deodorant to Remove Underarm Stains By Jackie H. I bought a beautiful white sweater at a yard sale. The challenge though was the sweater had large yellow armpit stains. I got all sorts of advice, use OXI, use vinegar, use lemon juice, use baking soda; they all failed. Then someone said use what "caused the stain". Hmmmmm, deodorant. I used a stick of solid white deodorant and rubbed it thickly into both sides inside and out. Let it sit in cold water overnight. Washed as normal the next morning and Wha- La! Beautiful white sweater that looks like new! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Sam came home to Anni and said "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 a.m. start, 2 p.m. finish, no overtime, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!" "That's great," Anni said. "Yeah, I thought so too," Sam agreed. "You start Monday." ___________________________________________________
"What a Wonderful World" sung by Meryl Streep, Bette Midler, Olivia Newton John
____________________________________________________ While strutting through a parking lot in his fancy executive elevator shoes, Mr Benson's right foot slipped on an oily patch and after expertly tripping himself, he fell flat on his face. As he was lying there, a woman stopped her car and called out, "Are you hurt?" "No, I'm fine," he said, as he was trying to regain his composure and plan a way to exit without beeing seen by too many people. "Oh, good," she continued. "Will you be vacating your parking space any time soon?" ____________________________________________________ After spending all day Sunday watching football on television, Bob fell asleep and spent the night in the chair. His wife woke him in the morning. "It's twenty to seven," she called. "In who's favor?" ____________________________________________________
Follow the yellow brick road.

Today on July 20
1801 A 1,235 pound cheese ball was pressed at the farm of
Elisha Brown, Jr. The ball of cheese was later loaded on a
horse-driven wagon and presented to U.S. President Thomas
Jefferson at the White House. 

1810 Colombia declared independence from Spain. 

1868 Legislation that ordered U.S. tax stamps to be placed
on all cigarette packs was passed. 

1871 British Columbia joined Confederation as a Canadian
province. 

1881 Sioux Indian leader Sitting Bull, a fugitive since the
Battle of the Little Big Horn, surrendered to federal
troops. (Montana) 

1917 The draft lottery in World War I went into operation. 

1942 The first detachment of the Women's Army Auxiliary
Corps, (WACS) began basic training at Fort Des Moines, Iowa.

1944 An attempt by a group of German officials to
assassinate Adolf Hitler failed. The bomb exploded at
Hitler's Rastenburg headquarters. Hitler was only wounded. 

1944 U.S. President Roosevelt was nominated for an
unprecedented fourth term of office at the Democratic
National Convention in Chicago. 

1961 "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off" opened in London. 

1969 Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin E.
Aldrin, Jr. became the first men to walk on the moon. 

1974 Turkish forces invaded Cyprus. 

1976 America's Viking I robot spacecraft made a successful
landing on Mars. 

1982 U.S. President Ronald Reagan pulled the U.S. out of
comprehensive test ban negotiations indefinitely. 

1985 Treasure hunters began raising $400 million in coins
and silver from the Spanish galleon "Nuestra Senora de
Atocha." The ship sank in 1622 40 miles of the coast of Key
West, FL. 

1992 Vaclav Havel, the playwright who led the Velvet
Revolution against communism, stepped down as president of
Czechoslovakia. 

1998 Russia won a $11.2 billion loan from the International
Monetary Fund to help avert the devaluation of its currency.

2003 In India, elephants used for commercial work began
wearing reflectors to avoid being hit by cars during night
work.

2016  smiled.


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Which font is best? 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, July 19

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: PA Female teacher sleeps with five pupils Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 19, in 1553 Fifteen-year-old Lady Jane Grey was deposed as Queen of England after claiming the crown for nine days. Mary, the daughter of King Henry VIII, was proclaimed Queen. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Communism is like one big phone company. --- Lenny Bruce (1923 - 1966) The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward. --- John Maynard Keynes (1883 - 1946) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A big-city counterfeiter decided the best place to pass off his phoney $18 bills would be in some small hick Southern town. So, he got into his new wheels and off he went. He found a tiny town with a single store. He entered the store and handed one of the bogus bills to the man behind the counter. "Can you change this for me, please?" he said. The store clerk looked at the $18 bill a short time, then smiled and told the man, "Sure, Mister. Ya'll want 2 nines, or 3 sixes?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Mrs. Davidson's dishwasher quit working so she calls a repairman. Since she has to go to work the next day, she tells him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish­washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check. Oh, by the way, don't worry about my Bull Dog; he won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" When the repairman arrives at Mrs. Davidson's apartment the next day, he discovers the biggest and meanest Bull Dog he has ever seen. But just as she said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his business. The Parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike!" ______________________________________________________ A friend was laid up at home with the flu. His fiancee called and volunteered to come over and fix dinner and play nursemaid to him. He declined, not wanting to pass on the flu to her. "Okay honey", she told him, "Will wait till after we get married. Then we can spend the rest of our lives making each other sick!" ______________________________________________________ And some will be playing pokemon-go. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michelle Mellinger, 49, Keesport, Pennsylvania PA Female teacher sleeps with five pupils A 49-year-old special education teacher who told the children she abused, “I prefer younger people" has been jailed. Michelle Mellinger, who worked as a teaching assistant at McKeesport Area High School, Pennsylvania, pleaded guilty to five counts of having intercourse or sexual contact with students and one count of sexual assault. She has been sentenced to between 11-and-a-half and 23 months, after a court heard she texted one of her victims: “Wow, you look amazing. I just became a paedophile.” Mellinger also told one boy he was on her “bucket list” before she slept with him. She would send her pupils texts, before driving them to her home and having sex with them, the court heard. Mellinger abused five boys aged between 15 and 17, but was caught in October after colleagues at her school overheard students talking about having sex with her. Mellinger tried to have sex with a sixth boy, but the court heard he “took off running” when she started to undress. Judge Donna Jo McDaniel said Mellinger had been sustained in her pursuit of underage boys. According to press in Pennsylvania, the incidents occurred between June 2013 until February 2015. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bianca RE: Which font is best Dear Webby, We got this big argument going at work about which font is the best. What is your opinion? Bianca Dear Bianca Best for what ? For a casual announcement Dauphin is good. It is relaxed but very readable. For something romantic you can sacrifice readability to slow down the reader and make him or her spend more time on each word. Try Vivace BT, For business, use Trebuchet if you want to appear as a modern innovator, Zurich Ex BT if you want to appear as a trusted banker, Tunga or Tahoma for reliable business Arial for clarity and precision, Lucida Console is for a techy look and also for maximum readability on poor monitors or bad printers or faxes. For web sites I recommend Arial. It is the most readable and sharpest font that is available on the most machines. Tunga might be nicer, but you can't count on everybody having it on their computer. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Little Johnny stared at his test paper. The big read "F" stared back at him. Freddie looked at his glum friend and asked, "Why did you get such a low grade on that test?" "Because of an absence," Johnny answered. "You mean you were absent on the day of the test?" he questioned. Little Johnny replied, "No, but the kid who usually sits next to me was." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Deodorant to Remove Underarm Stains By Jackie H. I bought a beautiful white sweater at a yard sale. The challenge though was the sweater had large yellow armpit stains. I got all sorts of advice, use OXI, use vinegar, use lemon juice, use baking soda; they all failed. Then someone said use what "caused the stain". Hmmmmm, deodorant. I used a stick of solid white deodorant and rubbed it thickly into both sides inside and out. Let it sit in cold water overnight. Washed as normal the next morning and Wha- La! Beautiful white sweater that looks like new! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Jim let his dog out to do his business late one night. He watched some TV and then remembered to let the dog back in. When he opened the door, he was shocked at what he saw! In his dog's mouth was his neighbor's cat, dead! "Bad dog! BAD DOG!" said the panicked man. He took the cat away and looked at it. He couldn't bring himself to tell his neighbor what happened, so he decided to clean it up and leave it on the neighbor's porch. He took the cat into the bathroom and washed off all the blood and dirt. It took him forever. He had to wash it four times to get it all cleaned. He brushed its beautiful white fur as he blow-dried it and put its collar back on. Since it was so dark, he snuck into the neighbor's yard and laid the cat down on the porch, in front of the door. The next day, he saw his neighbor. "Hi," the neighbor said. "Hi," replied Jim, nervously. His neighbor said, "Something weird happened last night." "Oh yeah? What's that?" asked Jim, sweating now. "Well, my cat died yesterday, got run over by a truck. What a mess! We buried him, and this morning he was lying on my front porch!" ___________________________________________________
Drunk Squirrel
____________________________________________________ Groan Alert: Ben Kenobi and Luke Flyswatter are having a Chinese supper. Ben picks up the chopsticks and starts eating. Luke is having problems, there is food over his face, his clothes, and the table, but not much in his mouth. "What should I do?" he asks Ben. "Use the forks, Luke!" ____________________________________________________ The preacher said: "There's no such thing as a perfect woman. Anybody present who has ever known a perfect woman, stand up." Nobody stood up. "Those who have ever known a perfect man, stand up." One demure little man stood up. "Did you ever know an absolutely perfect man?" he asked, somewhat disbelieving. "I didn't know him personally," replied the little man, "but I have heard a great deal about him. He was my wife's first husband." ____________________________________________________
Best of the week of PEOPLE ARE AWESOME!

Today on July 19
1525 The Catholic princes of Germany formed the Dessau
League to fight against the Reformation. 

1553 Fifteen-year-old Lady Jane Grey was deposed as Queen of
England after claiming the crown for nine days. Mary, the
daughter of King Henry VIII, was proclaimed Queen. 

1788 Prices plunged on the Paris stock market. 

1799 The Rosetta Stone, a tablet with hieroglyphic
translations into Greek, was found in Egypt. 

1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca
Fall, NY. Bloomers were introduced at the convention. 

1870 France declared war on Prussia. 

1939 Dr. Roy P. Scholz became the first surgeon to use
fiberglass sutures. 

1942 German U-boats were withdrawn from positions off the
U.S. Atlantic coast due to effective American anti-submarine
countermeasures. 

1943 During World War II, more than 150 B-17 and 112 B-24
bombers attacked Rome for the first time. 

1946 Marilyn Monroe acted in her first screen test. 

1971 In New York, the topping out ceremony for Two World
Trade Center (South Tower) took place. The ceremony for One
World Trade Center had taken place on December 23, 1970. 

1974 The House Judiciary Committee recommended that U.S.
President Richard Nixon should stand trial in the Senate for
any of the five impeachment charges against him. 

1975 The Apollo and Soyuz spacecrafts separated after being
linked in orbit for two days. 

1979 In Nicaragua, the dictatorship of the Somozas was
overthrown by the Sandinista National Liberation Front
(Frente Sandinista de Liberación Nacional or FSLN). 

1982 The U.S. Census Bureau reported that 14% of the
population had an income below the official poverty level in
1981. 

1985 Christa McAuliffe of New Hampshire was chosen to be the
first schoolteacher to ride aboard the space shuttle. She
died with six others when the Challenger exploded the
following year. 

2016  smiled.


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How to make symbols, that are not on the keyboard? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, July 18

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Tennessee woman steals the wallet of dead car crash victim. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 18, in 0064 The Great Fire of Rome began. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties. --- Sir Francis Bacon (1561 - 1626) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. "That's a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That's still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I'd like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
MALE OR FEMALE? SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles. KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs. TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and is often over-in- flated. SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out. PHOTOCOPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up again -- and only when the right buttons are pushed. HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around. REMOTE CONTROL -- Definitely female, because it gives men pleasure; he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying. ______________________________________________________ While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brittney McCoy, 26, Greenbrier, Tennessee Woman steals the wallet of dead car crash victim. A Greenbrier woman is facing multiple charges after police said she stole a wallet from the body of a man who died in a wreck near her home last week and used his credit card to buy beer, cigarettes and other items at a nearby convenience store. Brittney McCoy, 26, is charged with theft, burglary, tampering with evidence and the fraudulent use of a credit card, according to a news release issued by Greenbrier Police on Friday. She was arrested Thursday, July 7 and booked into Robertson County Jail on $37,000 bond. McCoy was the first person to reach Ronald Lewis Clinard, 67, of Greenbrier, after he crashed his red Chevrolet pickup near Greenridge Apartments late last week, police said. She gave Clinard’s identification to responding officers when they arrived at the scene of the crash, Greenbrier Police Chief K.D. Smith said Friday. “She claimed she found it lying by a tree,” the chief said. “To my knowledge, she didn’t try to help the victim. Another gentleman, the second person on the scene, was the one who called for help. He tried to care for the gentleman in the car, hold his head up and help all he could until the paramedics got there.” Investigators believe McCoy took Clinard’s wallet before the other person arrived on the scene, while Clinard was incapacitated, police said. They also think others may have been involved and are continuing their investigation into that possibility, the Friday release noted. A pistol is also missing from the crash scene, and investigators are looking into that as well, Smith said. He added that he's never seen anything like what happened last week during his 30-year career in law enforcement. “She (McCoy) actually left the scene, purchased a soft drink with the victim’s card, brought [that drink] back to the scene and gave it to the victim’s daughter, who was on the scene,” the chief said. “I’ve never seen anything this devastating. She had a total disregard for the deceased individual and his family.” Greenbrier Police were tipped off to McCoy’s actions by members of Clinard’s family, Smith said. When the wallet was not found at the scene, the family called Clinard’s bank and they were informed about McCoy’s purchases, the chief said. Once investigators were notified, they obtained surveillance video of McCoy making the purchases, Smith said. “We spoke to her, interviewed her, and she showed no sign of any kind of remorse,” the chief said. Clinard was driving north on Highway 41 near Greenridge Apartments at about 3 p.m. on July 1 when his truck crossed two lanes of traffic, struck a grass embankment and went airborne before it came to rest in a section of trees along the road, police said in a prior interview. He was declared dead at the scene. Authorities are not sure what caused the wreck, and the investigation into the circumstances surrounding it are continuing. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Brigit RE: Copyright Symbol Dear Webby, How do you make the copyright symbol that you put on some of your pictures? I am trying to write a neat little copyright notice like that onto a bunch of pictures, but pasting it does not look good. Thanks Brigit Dear Brigit Go into your graphics program, even Windows PAINT, and If you have a regular keyboard, not just a phone or a laptop, then simply hold down the ALT key and type 0169 on the numeric keypad. © Open a picture, select the text tool, select the text color, make the Copyright symbol, type your name and the date, adjust the text size, if necessary, hit Enter to paste that text, move it to the precise spot where you want it, right- click to nail it and it is done. If you don't have a regular keyboard, get ExtraKeys It gives you a small on-screen keyboard with all the extra keys. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group of ladies from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover. After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's my face they would recognize." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Peanut Butter Roll Candy By Charlene S. My grandmother always did the recipe with 1 medium potato, 1 stick of butter (room temp.), pinch of salt, 1 tsp. vanilla & add powder sugar till forms dough. Roll out on powdered sugar sprinkled board covered with wax paper. Spread with peanut butter (add coconut & chopped nuts if you want) & roll tightly. Makes 2-3 rolls. Refrigerate & slice into pieces. Nothing new to add for the recipe.. just a FYI Use cotton string to cut logs into slices. This prevents breakage or misshapen pieces. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A PSYCHOLOGIST is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. A PROFESSOR is one who talks in someone else's sleep. ___________________________________________________
Power in unity
____________________________________________________ Her husband had passed on and the new widow was so distraught that she sought out a spiritualist who told her that her husband was just fine. She added further that he was eagerly awaiting a reunion with her. "Is there anything he needs ?" the distraught woman asked, between tears. The spiritualist went into a transient state, then replied, "He says he'd love a carton or two of cigarettes." "I'll send some cartons immediately." the woman said joyfully. "But did he say where I should send them ?" "No." replied the Seer somberly, and added with an evil grin: "But he didn't ask for matches." "Oh GREAT!" exclaimed the woman."Then he is either with Zeus and the eternal olympic flame, or with Thor, the god of thunder and lighning!" ____________________________________________________ A big-game photographer went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. He picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the husband. "Those old lions are pretty tough. He'll be OK." ____________________________________________________
Building sized murals by the ETAM Cru.

Today on July 18
0064 The Great Fire of Rome began. 

1536 The authority of the pope was declared void in England.


1789 Robespierre, a deputy from Arras, France, decided to
back the French Revolution. 

1812 Great Britain signed the Treaty of Orebro, making peace
with Russia and Sweden. 

1830 Uruguay adopted a liberal constitution. 

1872 The Ballot Act was passed in Great Britain, providing
for secret election ballots. 

1914 Six planes of the U.S. Army helped to form an aviation
division called the Signal Corps. 

1932 The U.S. and Canada signed a treaty to develop the St.
Lawrence Seaway. 

1935 Ethiopian King Haile Selassie urged his countrymen to
fight to the last man against the invading Italian army. 

1936 The first Oscar Meyer Wienermobile rolled out of
General Body Company’s factory in Chicago, IL. 

1936 The Spanish Civil War began as Gen. Francisco Franco
led an uprising of army troops based in Spanish North
Africa. 

1942 The German Me-262, the first jet-propelled aircraft to
fly in combat, made its first flight. 

1944 U.S. troops captured Saint-Lo, France, ending the
battle of the hedgerows. 

1944 Hideki Tojo was removed as Japanese premier and war
minister due to setbacks suffered by his country in World
War II. 

1947 U.S. President Truman signed the Presidential
Succession Act, which placed the Speaker of the House and
the Senate President Pro Tempore next in the line of
succession after the vice president. 

1971 New Zealand and Australia announced they would pull
their troops out of Vietnam. 

2001 A train derailed, involving 60 cars, in a Baltimore
train tunnel. The fire that resulted lasted for six days and
virtually closed down downtown Baltimore for several days.

2016  smiled.


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Copyright and other symbols 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, July 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Man arrested after vomiting in restaurant's drive-thru Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 17, in 1212 The Moslems were crushed in the Spanish crusade. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ >From Barb Getting older, as we do, and doing things as we get older. I woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night. As I passed through the kitchen, I happened to look out through the rear windows. I noticed a diaper-headed Muslim with a knife, sneaking through my next door neighbor's yard. Suddenly my neighbor came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel, killing him instantly. He then dug a grave and put the body in it and covered it. Astonished, I got back into bed. My wife said, "You're upset, what is it?" "You'll never believe what I've just seen," I said. "That son of a bitch next door still has my shovel." ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Here is a very delightful classic: A synagogue had just opened for business while at the same time a Catholic church opened across the street. After some time the Rabbi noticed that a convent had been added to the church, More time later a Catholic school was built, then a gymnasium. Concerned the Rabbi called together his staff and expressed his concern, "We've been here the same amount of time as our neighbors and look, they've grown while we still have our same small temple - what are we doing wrong?" And so it was decided, they'd send Morris to attend a service on Sunday and check out what was going on over there. Sunday comes and all the men from the congregation are peeking thru the windows as Morris enters the church. Not 15 minutes later and Morris comes flying across the street, yelling and waving his arms. "So what happened?" says the Rabbi "Oy, you wouldn't believe it" says Morris "I go into the church, I sit down, then from the left a guy in a dress comes out unto the stage and he's chanting "I can play dominoes better than you can - I can play dominoes better than you can", then from the right of the stage some young boys swinging incense followed by another guy in a dress starts chanting "I bet you don't - I bet you don't" then back and forth they go "I can play dominoes better than you can - -I bet you don't", then from outta' the back four men in black suits come down the aisles and pick up the bets !!!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Bob moved into an apartment and went shopping for cleaning equipment. His cart was loaded with a broom, mop, dust-pan, sponges and a full array of cleaning products. At the last minute he topped off his cart with a lone food purchase -- a large bag of potato chips. Seeing the checkout clerk's quizzical look, he explained, "I'm a very messy eater." ______________________________________________________ On the way to pre-school, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. "Oh wow!" thought the doctor, "My daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!" Then the child spoke into the instrument, "Wowcome to McDonald's. Do you want fwies wif that?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Anthony Frieko, 32, Clermont, Florida Man arrested after vomiting in restaurant's drive-thru A man reportedly threw up at a fast food restaurant late Wednesday night — but not because of the food. David Anthony Frieko, 32, of Clermont, was charged with DUI and resisting arrest after an employee at a Burger King in Clermont called police to report a driver in the drive-thru line had vomited in a vehicle, according to an arrest affidavit. The man also paid $35 for an $8 order. Police said when they responded to the State Road 50 restaurant at about 11:40 p.m., they found Frieko in the driver seat with his head down, his eyes bloodshot and glassy and his vehicle running. Officers say they smelled alcohol. They had to pull Frieko out of the vehicle after he refused to exit, and he was unsteady on his feet. Frieko reportedly refused sobriety tests and was arrested. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Brigit RE: Copyright Symbol Dear Webby, How do you make the copyright symbol that you put on some of your pictures? I am trying to write a neat little copyright notice like that onto a bunch of pictures, but pasting it does not look good. Thanks Brigit Dear Brigit Go into your graphics program, even Windows PAINT, and If you have a regular keyboard, not just a phone or a laptop, then simply hold down the ALT key and type 0169 on the numeric keypad. © Open a picture, select the text tool, select the text color, make the Copyright symbol, type your name and the date, adjust the text size, if necessary, hit Enter to paste that text, move it to the precise spot where you want it, right- click to nail it and it is done. If you don't have a regular keyboard, get ExtraKeys It gives you a small on-screen keyboard with all the extra keys. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they went to their tent and soon went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "Okay, what does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a moment. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot! Someone has stolen our tent." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tension Rods for Drying Laundry By sharon6345 My mom taught me this awesome tip. I bought two tension rods and put them in the shower. I wash my clothes and just hang them in the shower. It's easy and if you're hand washing it's time saving. You could skip pulling out the hanging rack. You don't even need to iron when they dry. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Nine year old Little Johnny, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission, to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge so that the cops could not follow them, and all the Israelites were saved." "Now, Johnny, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked, scornfully. "Well, no, Mom. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it." ___________________________________________________
Power in unity
____________________________________________________ I saw in the paper the other day that in effect, by paying taxes, the average American works over six months a year for the Government. Most Government employees though don't seem to work six months a year for the government. ____________________________________________________ A man was on his way home with a new car, which was absorbing all his attention, when it struck him that he had forgotten something. Twice he stopped, counted his parcels, searched his pockets, but finally decided he had everything with him. Yet the feeling persisted. When he reached home his daughter ran out, stopped short, and cried, "Daddy, where's Mommy?" ____________________________________________________
People are strange, seems like they always have been.

Today on July 17
1212 The Moslems were crushed in the Spanish crusade. 

1453 France defeated England at Castillon, France, which
ended the 100 Years' War. 

1785 France limited the importation of goods from Britain. 

1815 Napoleon Bonaparte surrendered to the British at
Rochefort, France. 

1821 Spain ceded Florida to the U.S. 

1862 National cemeteries were authorized by the U.S.
government. 

1866 Authorization was given to build a tunnel beneath the
Chicago River. The three-year project cost $512,709. 

1898 U.S. troops under General William R. Shafter took
Santiago de Cuba during the Spanish-American War. 

1917 The British royal family adopted the Windsor name. 

1941 Brigadier General Soervell directed Architect G. Edwin
Bergstrom to have basic plans and architectural perspectives
for an office building that could house 40,000 War
Department employees on his desk by the following Monday
morning. The building became known as the Pentagon. 

1946 Chinese communists opened a drive against the
Nationalist army on the Yangtze River. 

1960 Francis Gary Powers pled guilty to spying charges in a
Moscow court after his U-2 spy plane was shot down over the
Soviet Union. 

1966 Ho Chi Minh ordered a partial mobilization of North
Vietnam forces to defend against American air strikes. 

1975 An Apollo spaceship docked with a Soyuz spacecraft in
orbit. It was the first link up between the U.S. and Soviet
Union. 

1979 Nicaraguan President Anastasio Somoza resigned and fled
to Miami in exile. (Florida) 

1986 The largest bankruptcy filing in U.S. history took
place when LTV Corporation asked for court protection from
more than 20,000 creditors. LTV Corp. had debts in excess of
$4 billion. 

1987 Lieutenant Colonel Oliver North and rear Admiral John
Poindexter begin testifying to Congress at the "Iran-Contra"
hearings. 

1997 After 117 years, the Woolworth Corp. closed its last
400 stores. 

1998 Biologists reported that they had deciphered the genome
(genetic map) of the syphilis bacterium. 

2008 In China, construction of the Shanghai World Financial
Center was completed. 

2016  smiled.


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Windows Explorer format 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, July 16

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Uber driver bitten and attacked by knife-wielding passenger in St. Petersburg Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 15, in 2009 In Chicago, Sears Tower was renamed Willis Tower. Sears left after Arabs theatened to destroy it like the World Trade center because they claim Sears to be owned by Jews. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit. --- Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC) You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm. --- Colette (1873 - 1954) A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately for them, they don't have a J.O.B. --- "Fats" Domino ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?". But the initials really have been changed to stand for "What would Jesus drive?". One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury". But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Jesus to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm". God himself obviously favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast". Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..." Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills". Joshua also rode a Triumph but seems to have had a bad muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land". And, following Jesus' lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda... "The Apostles were in one Accord".
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under ... you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "I'll sleep on it," said Shakey. Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. "For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars." "Is that so! How?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Nobody under there now!" ______________________________________________________ Two guys were out walking their dogs, when one dog wanders off to pee against the wall. Like dogs do, it raised it's leg and started to do his thing. The second dog then goes up and starts to go exactly where the other dog did. But instead of raising his leg, he stood up on his hind legs, put both paws on the wall and relieved himself. One guy says to the other, "Wow, how did you teach him that?" The second man replies, "I didn't teach him. He's done it ever since a fence, that he was trying to dig under, fell on him when he tried to mark it as HIS !" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture from Sweden: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Maya Madry, 22, St Petersburg, Florida Uber driver bitten and attacked by knife-wielding passenger in St. Petersburg While picking up a passenger, an Uber driver was bitten and his car was damaged - all without leaving the pick-up location. Maya Madry was arrested this week by the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office for a June incident involving an Uber driver. Apparently they waited for rabies reports. The driver was dispatched to her St. Petersburg home on June 24 at 10:42 a.m. Madry and the driver ended up in a "verbal dispute," according to an arrest affidavit. The Pinellas County Sheriff's Office says the Uber driver was called to the residence to pick up Madry. When he got there, Madry was not ready to go, so he left. Shortly after she called him and asked him to come back, he did. He told her to not request an Uber unless she is ready. That's when she got angry with him and there was an argument. The driver asked Madry to leave his vehicle, but before she stepped out, she grabbed, scratched, and bit his arm. She exited the vehicle and hit the driver's window with a 10-inch long kitchen knife and stabbed a tire. She flattened that tire and attempted to flatten the other three but was unsuccessful. The victim's injuries were treated. Madry left the scene after the incident. Police arrested her on Sunday, July 10. She was charged with aggravated assault, simple battery and criminal mischief. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Helen RE: Windows Explorer list Dear Webby, can you tell me how to stop lists in Windows Explorer from coming up with large icons? Every time I go to Explorer I have to tell it to view the directory in a "List". Would LOVE to put a stop to that! Thanks for you help again! Helen Dear Helen here is what I do: First I customize a view to my liking, (I set it to show details) then I click on TOOLS FolderOptions Classic in it's own window Double-click VIEW check and uncheck things to my liking check Remember each folder's view settings Thenclick on the big button that says: APPLY TO ALL FOLDERS then hit OK. Close Explorer, and open it again. However, some bug in Windows still makes it occasionally forget that and you have to set it like that again. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A young man was serving for the first time as usher at a large and fashionable church and his self-consciousness amounted to a bad case of stage fright. As a result of his nervousness some mistakes were made. Among others, a wealthy old lady marched down the aisle unaccompanied and seated herself inadvertently one row in front of her usual position. The perspiring young usher tiptoed up to her and whispered hoarsely, "Mardon me, padam, you are occupewing the wrong pie. May I sew you to another sheet?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Aloe Vera Juice Hey, I just got this from another website. Thought you'd like it! · Cut off 8-10cm from a leaf, then slice the cutting lengthwise. · Scoop out the gel found in the centre, taking great care not to pick up any of the yellowish layer next to the outer skin which is bitter and has powerful laxative effects. · Whisk one to 2 teaspoons of the fresh gel into 1 cup of fresh cold water or vegetable juice and take daily or several times a week for intestinal health. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will probably be held against you, you don't have the right to have an attorney present, But you may now kiss the bride. ___________________________________________________
evil April Fools Day pranks
____________________________________________________ An office reports that they have an answering machine that instructs callers to leave their name and address, and to spell any difficult words. Early one Monday when the secretary was reviewing the weekend messages, she heard an enthusiastic young woman recite her name and address and then confidently offer, "My difficult word is reconciliation. R-E-C-O-N-C-I-L-I-A-T-I-O-N." ____________________________________________________ 1st man: "I woke up this morning and felt so bad that I tried to kill myself by taking a thousand aspirin." 2nd man: "Oh really, what happened?" 1st man: "After the first two, I felt better." ____________________________________________________
Come travel to some beautiful islands with me.

Today on July 16
1774 Russia and the Ottoman Empire signed the treaty of
Kuchuk-Kainardji, ending their six-year war. 

1779 American troops under General Anthony Wayne captured
Stony Point, NY. 

1790 The District of Columbia, or Washington, DC, was
established as the permanent seat of the United States
Government. 

1791 Louis XVI was suspended from office until he agreed to
ratify the constitution. 

1875 The new French constitution was finalized. 

1912 Bradley A. Fiske patented the airplane torpedo. 

1926 The first underwater color photographs appeared in
"National Geographic" magazine. The pictures had been taken
near the Florida Keys. 

1935 Oklahoma City became the first city in the U.S. to
install parking meters. 

1940 Adolf Hitler ordered the preparations to begin on the
invasion of England, known as Operation Sea Lion. 

1942 French police officers rounded up 13,000 Jews and held
them in the Winter Velodrome. The round-up was part of an
agreement between Pierre Laval and the Nazis. Germany had
agreed to not deport French Jews if France arrested foreign
Jews. 

1944 Soviet troops occupied Vilna, Lithuania, in their drive
toward Germany. 

1945 The United States detonated the first atomic bomb in a
test at Alamogordo, NM. 

1950 The largest crowd in sporting history was 199,854. They
watched the Uruguay defeat Brazil in the World Cup soccer
finals in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. 

1951 J.D. Salinger's novel "The Catcher in the Rye" was
first published. 

1957 Marine Major John Glenn set a transcontinental speed
record when he flew a jet from California to New York in 3
hours, 23 minutes and 8 seconds. 

1969 Apollo 11 blasted off from Cape Kennedy, FL, and began
the first manned mission to land on the moon. 

1973 Alexander P. Butterfield informed the Senate committee
investigating the Watergate affair of the existence of
recorded tapes. 

1979 Saddam Hussein became president of Iraq after forcing
Hasan al-Bakr to resign. 

1981 After 23 years with the name Datsun, executives of
Nissan changed the name of their cars to Nissan. 

2005 J.K. Rowling's book "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood
Prince" was released. It was the sixth in the Harry Potter
series. The book sold 6.9 million copies on its first day of
release. 

2009 In Chicago, Sears Tower was renamed Willis Tower. Sears
left after Arabs theatened to destroy it like the World
Trade center because they claim Sears to be owned by Jews.

2016  smiled.


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Incorrect fonts in Gmail 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, July 15
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support 
for the troops!


Thank you, Elizabeth!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: MA Bonehead tried to rob bank, left empty handed and hit a police car while trying to get away. He continued driving, but struck a utility pole. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 15, in 1099 Jerusalem fell to the Crusaders. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. --- Sam Levenson (1911 - 1980) Most advances in science come when a person for one reason or another is forced to change fields. --- Peter Borden ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Leonardo's Pizza in Akron, Ohio narrowly escaped being robbed because the gunman slipped on a patch of grease from a pizza that had been dropped on the floor earlier. He hit the floor and knocked himself unconscious. The armed robber is planning to sue Leonardo's Pizza.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
One caller to an answering service gave me his name, number and message and then said, "You know my name. What's yours?" "We're not allowed to give our names," the rep replied, "but my operator number is 4136" Sounding disappointed, the caller said, "May I call you by your first digit, or would that be too personal?" -------------------------------- Personally, when they act like that I ask them for the name of their competitor. ______________________________________________________ This is the absolute funniest spam I have received in a long time: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Important notice We have just charged your credit card for money laundry service in amount of $234.65 (because you are either child pronography webmaster or deal with dirty money, which require us to layndry them and then send to your checking account). If you feel this transaction was made by our mistake, please press "No". If you confirm this transaction, please press "Yes" and fill in the form below. Enter your name here: Enter your credit card number here: Enter your credit card expiration date: Enter the number from the back: Yes No Contacts: Phone: +5982 902 5627 Fax: +5982 902 3114 E-mail: support@fethard.biz ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I do NOT recommend calling those numbers. They are in zone 5, South/Latin America and most likely similar to our 1 9xx numbers, but at $25 and up per minute. The whole thing is so silly that it probably falls half way between "Moron-Tax" and making fun of the scammers who ask you to send them your Paypal and credit card info. ______________________________________________________ Johnston Canyon ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Sean P. Smith 43, Idaho Falls, Idaho Transgender woman arrested for videotaping 18-year-old in Target fitting room A transgender woman accused of videotaping an 18-year-old in a Target fitting room admitted to detectives that she had made videos in the past of women undressing, according to court documents obtained by EastIdahoNews.com. Shauna Smith, a transgender woman, is being charged as Sean Smith with one felony count of video voyeurism after the alleged incident Monday. An affidavit of probable cause states the 18-year-old woman was trying on swimwear at the Target on 25th East when someone in an adjacent fitting room held an iPhone over the top of the barrier and began taking photos or video recording. “The victim’s mother confronted the suspect, who immediately fled on foot. Both the victim and victim’s mother described the suspect as a white male who was wearing a dress and a blonde wig. A witness observed the suspect get into a vehicle and leave the area,” court documents state. Bonneville County detectives learned the vehicle was registered to Smith. When an investigator arrived at Smith’s home, documents state “the defendant’s roommate told (the investigator) her roommate is a transgender male who identifies as a female, Shauna Smith.” The detective showed the roommate surveillance still photos of the suspect from Target and the roommate identified the suspect’s clothing as that of Smith’s, according to documents. Deputies interviewed Smith and “the defendant eventually admitted to me that she had made videos in the past of women undressing. The defendant told (the detective) that she makes these videos for the ‘same reason men go online to look at pornography,'” documents state. According to the affidavit, Smith told the detective “she finds the video sexually gratifying” and when the deputy looked at the camera roll on Smith’s iPhone, he “observed a video of a young adult female undressing in a changing room at what appear to be Target. The defendant admitted to me that this video was recorded at Target.” Smith is scheduled to be arraigned this afternoon in Bonneville County and was booked as a male into the Bonneville County Jail on a $30,000 bond. The Target boycott petition, launched by the American Family Association, currently has over 1.3 million signatures. The AFA petition puts Target's policies in stark terms, noting that they allow a man to "simply say he 'feels like a woman today' and enter the women's restroom...even if young girls or women are already in there." ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Cay RE: Wacky font in Gmail Dear Webby, I hate to be a pest, but for several weeks, the print in the newsletter I receive has reverted to "typewriter" font instead of the usual. this seems to happen two or three times a year. Can it be fixed? Be safe and healthy, Cay, Dear Cay That seems to be a setting in your Gmail. I subscribed with a gmail address so that I can check how it looks on Gmail. It COULD be that your computer is low on available RAM. Run CrapCleaner and see if that helps. If it doesn't, mess around with the settings in your Gmail. You can always browse top http://webby.com and see what I sent out to you. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A couple were in line at a theme park when they noticed two teenagers in front of them, passionately hugging and kissing. They didn't even come up for air when the line moved. As they waited, their displays of affection became more and more embarrassing. Finally a park employee approached them and said, "Hey, you two! This is a place to BRING your families, not CAUSE them." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organic Coconut Oil Chocolates Approximate Time: 1 hour Yield: 24 or more Ingredients: 1 cup organic virgin coconut oil 1/2 cup organic cacao powder 1/4 cup pure maple syrup Steps: Place all ingredients in a stand mixer and blend until smooth (stopping a couple times to scrape down the sides). Using a tablespoon, measure chocolate mixture and drop on baking sheets lined with parchment paper. Freeze for 1-2 hours. Remove and enjoy. Keep these chocolates in an air-tight container in your freezer. Option: add a couple drops of mint extract to give these chocolates a minty flavor. It is really important that the ingredients of the maple syrup are JUST maple syrup, and no Corn Syrup or modified corn syrup, unless you need to fatten up. You can soak a small handful of raisins in a bit of brandy or rum, and add them after drip-drying them a minute. They not only enhance the flavor but add an occasional surprising texture treat. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two little girls are looking at a book of fairy tales. "Who's that on the cover?" asks the younger of the two. "That's Cinderella." replied her friend. "It's a nice story with a happy ending." "But why is she crying?" the first asked. "She doesn't look so happy to me." "Because her wicked step-Mother won't let her go to the mall." answered the second. ___________________________________________________
baby trains "Rocky" style
____________________________________________________ Gillian Shephard, a Member of Parliament, paid a visit to Norwich jail to inspect the place and after her tour of the prison, she was shown to her chauffeur driven car by the Governor, whereupon it was discovered that the chauffeur had inadvertently left the keys in the car and he was unable to open the doors. There was much embarrassment until the Governor of Norwich jail came up with a splendid idea. "We have plenty inside here who are doing time for car burglary; shall I get one?" Gillian nodded her assent. Enter Justin, doing a few years for such crimes, and he was invited to display his skills to the advantage of Mrs. Shephard in order to save her any further embarrassment. With that, Justin picked up a large stone and hurled it at the window of the limousine, shattering it in a million pieces. Surrounding press and camera men had to hide behind trees and other cover to conceal their mirth. By way of explanation he later said that all he was ever after was the property inside the vehicles. ____________________________________________________ One day at kindergarten, the teacher says to the to the class of five-year-olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who the most famous man who ever lived was." An Irish boy raised his hand and said, "Please, Miss, it was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry, Sean, that's not correct." Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "Please, Miss, it was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either." Finally, a Jewish boy, Aaron, raised his hand and said, "Please, Miss, it was Jesus Christ." The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Aaron. Come up here, and I'll give you your $2." As the teacher was giving Aaron his money, she said, "You know, Aaron, you being Jewish, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ." "I know, Miss," Aaron replied, "in my heart I know it was Moses, but business is business." ____________________________________________________
I love babies and dogs!

Today on July 15
1099 Jerusalem fell to the Crusaders. 

1410 Poles and Lithuanians defeated the Teutonic knights
at Tannenburg, Prussia. 

1789 The electors of Paris set up a "Commune" to live
without the authority of the government. 

1806 Lieutenant Zebulon Pike began his western expedition
from Fort Belle Fountaine, near St. Louis, MO. 

1813 Napoleon Bonaparte's representatives met with the
Allies in Prague to discuss peace terms. 

1885 In New York, the Niagara Reservation State Park
opened. 

1888 "Printers’ Ink" was first sold. 

1895 Ex-prime minister of Bulgaria, Stephen Stambulov, was
murdered by Macedonian rebels. 

1901 Over 74,000 Pittsburgh steel workers went on strike. 

1904 The first Buddhist temple in the U.S. was established
in Los Angeles, CA. 

1916 In Seattle, WA, Pacific Aero Products was
incorporated by William Boeing. The company was later
renamed Boeing Co. 

1918 The Second Battle of the Marne began during World War
I. 

1922 The duck-billed platypus arrived in America, direct
from Australia. It was exhibited at the Bronx Zoo in New
York City. 

1942 The first supply flight from India to China over the
'Hump' was carried to help China's war effort. 

1958 Five thousand U.S. Marines landed in Beirut, Lebanon,
to protect the pro-Western government. The troops withdrew
October 25, 1958. 

1965 The spacecraft Mariner IV sent back the first close-
up pictures of the planet Mars. 

1968 Commercial air travel began between the U.S. and the
U.S.S.R., when the first plane, a Soviet Aeroflot jet,
landed at Kennedy International Airport in New York. 

1971 U.S. President Nixon announced he would visit the
People's Republic of China to seek a "normalization of
relations." 

1972 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft became the first to
enter the asteroid belt. 

1987 Taiwan ended thirty-seven years of martial law. 

2006 The social networking service Twitter was launched. 

2009 "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" was released
in theaters in the U.S. It was the sixth movie in the
series. 

2011 "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2" was
released in theaters in the U.S. and U.K. It was the final
film in the Harry Potter series. 

2016  smiled.


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Scroll Lock key 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, July 14

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: MA Bonehead tried to rob bank, left empty handed and hit a police car while trying to get away. He continued driving, but struck a utility pole. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 14, in 1430 Joan of Arc, taken prisoner by the Burgundians in May, was handed over to Pierre Cauchon, the bishop of Beauvais. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Some people die at 25 but aren't buried until they are 70. -- Mark Twain ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Anita came running up to her husband in the driveway just jumping for joy. She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!" He said, "Great, tell me what you're so happy about!" "I'm pregnant!" He was ecstatic! They had been trying for a while; he grabbed her and kissed her on the lips and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!" Then she said, "Oh, honey, there's more!" "What do you mean, 'more'?" She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!!!!" Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew. She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Walmart and bought the twin pack home pregnancy test kit and BOTH tests came out positive!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A golfer went to see his doctor. He was suffering from major stress syndrome. The doctor asked him if he played golf, to which the golfer replied "I play at it, it's a very frustrating game, but I love it." The doctor told him that the next time he played, he should use an imaginary ball. The golfer was a little embarrassed, but he decided to give it a try. So he went out on a week day so his normal golfing buddies wouldn't see him, and proceeded to tee up an imaginary ball. Lo and behold, he birdied the first hole! He was playing the best game he had ever played, with birdie or eagle on every hole, as he approached the 9th green. Another single gentleman had been playing ahead of him and watching this game with much curiosity. The second golfer waited before he teed off on the 10th hole and asked the first golfer if he would like to join him. They did, and as they played the 10th hole, the second golfer asked him what he was doing. The first golfer explained that his doctor had told him to play a round of golf with an imaginary ball to relieve his stress, and it was working. Well, of course, the second golfer said he had stress and asked if it would be all right to play with an imaginary ball, also. The first golfer said "Sure!" They now approach the 18th hole, short par 4, and both men are tied to this point in their round. The second golfer teed his imaginary ball, took a stroke, and started jumping up and down shouting, "Ace! I win!" The first golfer only turned to him, smiled, and said "No, I won. That was my ball you aced." ______________________________________________________ A golfer who was known for his bad temper walked into the pro shop one day and plunked down big bucks for a new set of woods. The staff all watched to see what would happen after he used them for the first time - more than half expecting he'd come in and demand his money back. But the next time he came in, he was all smiles. "They're the best clubs I've ever had," he said. "In fact, I've discovered I can throw them at least 20 yards farther than I could my last ones." ______________________________________________________ Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by MA Bonehead tried to rob bank, left empty handed and hit a police car while trying to get away. He continued driving, but struck a utility pole. Prince Conteh, 26, Lowell, Massachusetts Police say he had a shotgun, but fled empty-handed A would-be robber fled a Long Island bank empty-handed Saturday morning and was captured after crashing his getaway car into a police vehicle, authorities said. Prince Conteh, 26, of Lowell, Massachusetts, entered a Bank of America in Hempstead at about 11:50 a.m. and demanded cash from a woman employee, Nassau County detectives said. He was armed with a shotgun, they said. The employee refused to allow Conteh to enter the teller area, so he left the bank empty-handed, police said. While making his getaway, Conteh crashed his car into a Hempstead patrol car. He continued driving, but struck a utility pole. Conteh hopped out of car, dropped his shotgun and ran, but officers caught him with help from people in the vicinity. The officer whose patrol car was struck was taken to a local hospital and treated for neck and back pain, police said. Conteh was charged with first-degree attempted robbery, second-degree assault and criminal use of a firearm. Hit & Run might be added later. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dean RE: Scroll Lock key Dear Webby, What is the Scroll Lock key for ? The IT tech here said it was an obsolete legacy key from the old days of DOS. Somehow I think it would have been dumped to save money if it was really obsolete. What is the real truth about it? Dean Dear Dean The Scroll Lock key is far from obsolete, however only people who work on spreadsheets, word processing documents, databases and graphics use it. If you are in a spreadsheet and want to scroll the sheet instead of the highlight of a cell, hit ScrollLock and use the arrow keys. The same trick works in word processors and databases and some graphics programs. Sure, you could do the same by taking a hand away from the keyboard and mousing around for a while. However, most professionals want to get work done as fast as possible and try to keep their hands on the keyboard. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Savoury Cheese and Vegetable Tart By attosa [218 Posts, 509 Comments] This is one of my favourite savoury tarts to make. It's much like a quiche. You can add whatever vegetables you have on hand. The cheese is also optional. My father hates cheese so his cheese-free version is pictured here, too. You can also use a use store bought pie crust. Savoury Cheese and Vegetable Tart Approximate Time: 1 hour Yield: 6-8 servings Ingredients: 1 1/4 cup flour 1 stick butter, cold 2 Tbsp milk 10 oz mushrooms, sliced 1 medium onion, sliced 1/2 head broccoli 4 slices red pepper 2 eggs 1/4 cup milk 6 oz cheese 1 Tbsp flour salt and pepper to taste Steps: Chop your cold stick of butter into small pieces and mix with flour. Use utensils or your fingers to crumble into a sand-like texture. Slowly drizzle in the two tablespoons of milk. Press this mixture into a ball shape, cover with plastic wrap, and set aside in your refrigerator for at least 30 minutes. Fry your onions, mushroom and broccoli in a pan on medium until lightly browned. Remove pan from heat. Sprinkle flour all over this mixture. Immediately add your milk and mix well. Let cool. Beat eggs and mix into veggie mixture. Preheat oven to 375 F. Remove dough ball from refrigerator and roll with a rolling pin. Press into an 8 or 9 inch pie dish. Prick the bottom of the pie crust with a fork several times. Bake for 10-12 minutes, until lightly golden on edges. Pour the veggie/flour/milk/egg mixture into your half baked crust. Top with cheese and pepper slices. Bake in oven at 375 F for 22-25 minutes. Let cool. Enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Someday I guess I'm just gonna get arrested, but I can't resist off-the-wall humor when people least expect it. I went into the department store and was greeted by a pretty salesgirl with a slightly foreign accent, who said, "Good ahvternoon sir, vat is it you desire?" Naturally I grinned and winked with an eyebrow. She defintiely was not slow and instantly blushed. So I told her that she was even more beautiful when she blushed. That didn't go over too well and she threw the phone at me, or would have if it hadn't had a line on it. Probably the one she was standing on. That line tore the phone out of her hand in mid swing, and bounced it against the front of her strapless tube-top. The tightly stretched tube top gave way and various top secret foam wedges and shims flew out and all over the counter top. That made her fly into a total rage, and instead of re- loading her tube top, she started throwing anything within her reach at me, including those foam items. It was quite a show! Eventually she realized that she was rather exposed and tried to pull up her tube top. That is when she found out the hard way that a size D tube does not stay put on a size B girl unless there is some help from foam wedges and shims, but that those had bounced off my head and were mixing it up with the rubber duckies in the fountain behind me. So she shrieked and ran away, holding up her now rather lose tube-top with both hands. Luckily for me another store employee close by had watched the whole episode and came over. ___________________________________________________
25,000 dominoes
____________________________________________________ One day, when I was still living way out of town, the engine on my truck decided to die and I had to hitch-hike into town to get some parts. There was not much traffic in those days, but as luck would have it, a cute blonde lady came along and stopped for me. It turned out that she was a bush-bunny and just as bushed as I was. After a few miles and smiles we sat pretty close and it became increasingly difficult to tell who was actually driving the truck. Above the town the "Old Highway" splits off. The "Old Highway" wasn't used much for driving any more, mostly for "parking". She pulled in there and parked. The cab of the truck was definitely too crowded, and the loading bed of the truck was not very inviting in the starting rain. However, there is lots of room under a 4x4 pick-up truck. Some time later somebody rudely kicked my leg and asked: "Just what in heck do you think you are doing here?" My vision was quite obscured because I was on the bottom, but I recognize a police boot. So I told him: "I'm just working on her clutch." The cop chuckled and told me: "Might as well work on her parking brake too.... Her truck is inside the church at the bottom of the hill." ____________________________________________________ When Diane found out she was pregnant, she told the good news to anyone who would listen. But her 4-year-old son overheard some of her parents' private conversations. One day when Diane and her 4-year-old were waiting in a doctors office a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Yes!" the 4-year-old said, "and I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call her Christina, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits!" ____________________________________________________
I've always wanted to visit England and even more so now after these gorgeous photos!

Today on July 14
1223 In France, Louis VIII succeeded his father, Philip
Augustus. 

1430 Joan of Arc, taken prisoner by the Burgundians in May,
was handed over to Pierre Cauchon, the bishop of Beauvais. 

1456 Hungarians defeated the Ottomans at the Battle of
Belgrade. 

1536 France and Portugal signed the naval treaty of Lyons,
which aligned them against Spain. 

1789 French Revolution began with Parisians stormed the
Bastille prison and released the seven prisoners inside. 

1798 The U.S. Congress passed the Sedition Act. The act made
it a federal crime to write, publish, or utter false or
malicious statements about the U.S. government. 

1868 Alvin J. Fellows patented the tape measure. 

1891 The primacy of Thomas Edison's lamp patents was upheld
in the court decision Electric Light Company vs. U.S.
Electric Lighting Company. 

1900 European Allies retook Tientsin, China, from the
rebelling Boxers. 

1911 Harry N. Atwood landed an airplane on the lawn of the
White House to accept an award from U.S. President William
Taft. 

1914 Robert H. Goddard patented liquid rocket-fuel. 

1933 All German political parties except the Nazi Party were
outlawed. 

1940 A force of German Ju-88 bombers attacked Suez, Egypt,
from bases in Crete. 

1941 Vichy French Foreign Legionaries signed an armistice in
Damascus, which allowed them to join the Free French Foreign
Legion. 

1945 American battleships and cruisers bombarded the
Japanese home islands for the first time. 

1946 Dr. Benjamin Spock’s "The Common Sense Book of Baby and
Child Care" was first published. 

1951 The first sports event to be shown in color, on CBS-TV,
was the Molly Pitcher Handicap at Oceanport, NJ. 

1951 The George Washington Carver National Monument in
Joplin, MO, became the first national park to honor an
African American. 

1958 The army of Iraq overthrew the monarchy. 

1965 The American space probe Mariner 4 flew by Mars, and
sent back photographs of the planet. 

1967 Eddie Mathews (Houston Astros) hit his 500th career
home run. 

1968 Hank Aaron (Atlanta Braves) hit his 500th career home
run. 

1981 The All-Star Game was postponed because of a 33-day-old
baseball players strike. The game was held on August 9. 

1998 Los Angeles sued 15 tobacco companies for $2.5 billion
over the dangers of secondhand smoke. 

2001 Beijing was awarded the 2008 Olympics. It was the first
time that the China had been awarded the games. 

2003 Jerry Springer officially filed papers to run for the
U.S. Senate from Ohio. 

2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 10 million applications
downloaded. 

2008 In Japan, construction began on the Tokyo Skytree
tower. 

2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.5 billion applications
downloaded. 

2015 NASA's New Horizons spacecraft became the first space
mission to explore Pluto. 

2016  smiled.


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Downloading W10 without installing 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, July 13

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Nevada Road rage Hit and Run flasher caught on cellphone video and arrested Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 13, in 1099 The Crusaders launched their final assault on Muslims in Jerusalem. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ "Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence." --- Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956) Politics is the art of preventing people from taking part in affairs which properly concern them. --- Paul Valery ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The stockbroker was nervous about being in prison because hiscellmate looked like a real thug. "Don't worry," the gruff looking fellow said, "I'm in here for a white collar crime too." "Well, that's a relief," sighed the stockbroker. "I was sent to prison for fraud and insider trading." "Oh nothing fancy like that for me," grinned the convict. "I just murdered a couple of priests and a shrink."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A man realizes he needs to buy a hearing aid, but he is unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they run?" he asks the clerk. "That depends," says the salesman. "They run from $2 to $4,000." "Let's see the $2 model," the customer says. The clerk puts the device around the man's neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he says. "How does it work?" the customer asks. "For $2, it doesn't work," the salesman replies. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder." ______________________________________________________ Groan Alert One day in the forest, three animals were discussing who among them was the most powerful. "I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly at my prey." "That's nothing," said the mountain lion, "I am not only fleet, but I have powerful teeth and claws." "I am the most powerful," said the skunk, "because with a flick of my tail, I can drive off the two of you." Just then a huge grizzly bear lumbered out of the forest and settled the debate by eating them all: hawk, lion, and stinker. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Early Volvo ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Road rage Hit and Run flasher caught on cellphone video and arrested Gina DeMarco, 34, Las Vegas, Nevada The woman caught flashing another motorist and his family on cellphone video following a car accident is now behind bars. On Wednesday, the Nevada Highway Patrol (NHP) arrested 34-year-old Gina DeMarco. The woman's face is one the entire community has become familiar with. On the News 3 Facebook page, her irate moment has been viewed more than 30,000 times. DeMarco surrendered to police Wednesday afternoon and News 3 cameras were there as she was taken away. The arrest comes six days after the bizarre road rage incident was caught on camera by Adrian Rodriguez. "She was going crazy," said Rodriguez. Two minutes later, she was gone, caught speeding away on camera. "Clearly, this is outrageous behavior and it has no place on our roadways," said Trooper Jason Buratczuk with the Nevada Highway Patrol. Buratczuk said the DeMarco could be facing hit-and-run and indecent exposure charges. And that's not all. As it turns out, she could be in even more legal trouble. "We found out that there may be something going on, beyond just a regular hit-and-run crash. It looks like maybe some fraud or identity theft may be involved. Investigators are still looking into that," said Buratczuk. For now, the woman behind this now-viral video is behind bars and getting ready to face a judge. "If she would've just stayed on scene, and waited for NHP to get there, she would've had an unsafe lane change ticket and been on her way, and now because of her actions, here we are today," said Buratczuk. Gina DeMarco was booked into the Clark County Detention Center and faces five charges. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Donny RE: Download W10 without installing it Dear Webby, Thanks for your newsletter - don't miss a day! Do you know if there is a way to 'download' the free Windows 10 to a disc without actually installing it ? Thanks for all your previous "tips"" - have used a lot of them! Thanks again, Donny Dear Donny Why would you want to download W10 to a disk? The installation requires you to be online anyway. Don't worry about the "free" gimmick. It's not YOU who needs W10. Microsoft and their Chinese computer factories need you to install W10 to increase their profits. Simply hang tough until you buy a new computer. It will be strong enough to handle W10, and it will have W10 factory installed BEFORE it leaves China. There is a major update to W10 scheduled for August, similar to XP-SP1. Don't do anything until that update has been out for half a year and the bugs in it fixed. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ >From Connie Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you'll find a hairstylist you like. Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but she can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Savoury Cheese and Vegetable Tart By attosa [218 Posts, 509 Comments] This is one of my favourite savoury tarts to make. It's much like a quiche. You can add whatever vegetables you have on hand. The cheese is also optional. My father hates cheese so his cheese-free version is pictured here, too. You can also use a use store bought pie crust. Savoury Cheese and Vegetable Tart Approximate Time: 1 hour Yield: 6-8 servings Ingredients: 1 1/4 cup flour 1 stick butter, cold 2 Tbsp milk 10 oz mushrooms, sliced 1 medium onion, sliced 1/2 head broccoli 4 slices red pepper 2 eggs 1/4 cup milk 6 oz cheese 1 Tbsp flour salt and pepper to taste Steps: Chop your cold stick of butter into small pieces and mix with flour. Use utensils or your fingers to crumble into a sand-like texture. Slowly drizzle in the two tablespoons of milk. Press this mixture into a ball shape, cover with plastic wrap, and set aside in your refrigerator for at least 30 minutes. Fry your onions, mushroom and broccoli in a pan on medium until lightly browned. Remove pan from heat. Sprinkle flour all over this mixture. Immediately add your milk and mix well. Let cool. Beat eggs and mix into veggie mixture. Preheat oven to 375 F. Remove dough ball from refrigerator and roll with a rolling pin. Press into an 8 or 9 inch pie dish. Prick the bottom of the pie crust with a fork several times. Bake for 10-12 minutes, until lightly golden on edges. Pour the veggie/flour/milk/egg mixture into your half baked crust. Top with cheese and pepper slices. Bake in oven at 375 F for 22-25 minutes. Let cool. Enjoy! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Gramma Liz went to her first show at an art gallery and was looking at the paintings. One was a huge canvas that was black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting was a murky gray color with drips of purple paint streaked across it. Gramma Liz walked over to the artist and said, "I don't understand your paintings." "I paint what I feel inside me," the artist explained. Gramma Liz looked at the paintings again, then just before stalking off said to him: "If you can't learn to cook, at least eat your pizza before it turns green!" ___________________________________________________
Bach in the woods
____________________________________________________ Deep in the woods of Tennessee on a country road, a speeder hit and killed a dog. The dog's owner stood nearby, a gun in his hand.The speeder looks at the owner sheepishly and says, "Looks as if I killed your dog." "Sure does." "I'm sorry. Was it a valuable dog?" "I wouldn't say that." "Well, suppose I gave you a hundred dollars. Would that be enough?" "Well, I don't know." "Two hundred dollars. That should do it." "Sounds good." The speeder reached into his pocket and came up with the money. Pressing it into the man's hand, he said, "I'm sorry I spoiled your plans to go hunting." "I wasn't going hunting. I was heading out to the woods to put that 18 year old mangy mutt out of his misery." ____________________________________________________ A reporter was interviewing a 104 year-old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?" She simply replied, "Very little peer pressure." ____________________________________________________
People who are awesome at doing sports tricks.

Today on July 13
1099 The Crusaders launched their final assault on Muslims
in Jerusalem. 

1534 The Ottoman armies captured Tabriz in northwestern
Persia. 

1558 Led by the court of Egmont, the Spanish army defeated
the French at Gravelines, France. 

1585 A group of 108 English colonists, led by Sir Richard
Grenville, reached Roanoke Island, NC. 

1643 In England, the Roundheads, led by Sir William Waller,
were defeated by royalist troops under Lord Wilmot in the
Battle of Roundway Down. 

1754 At the beginning of the French and Indian War, George
Washington surrendered the small, circular Fort Necessity in
southwestern Pennsylvania to the French. 

1787 The U.S. Congress, under the Articles of Confederation,
enacted the Northwest Ordinance, which established the rules
for governing the Northwest Territory, for admitting new
states to the Union and limiting the expansion of slavery. 

1812 The first pawnbroking ordinance was passed in New York
City. 

1832 Henry Schoolcraft discovered the source of the
Mississippi River in Minnesota. 

1836 John Ruggles received patent #1 from the U.S. Patent
Office for a traction wheel used in locomotive steam
engines. All 9,957 previous patents were not numbered. 

1863 Opponents of the Civil War draft began three days of
rioting in New York City, which resulted in more than 1,000
casualties. 

1875 David Brown patented the first cash-carrier system. 

1878 The Congress of Berlin divided the Balkans among
European powers. 

1931 A major German financial institution, Danabank, failed.
This led to the closing of all banks in Germany until August
5. 

1941 Britain and the Soviet Union signed a mutual aid pact,
that provided the means for Britain to send war material to
the Soviet Union. 

1954 In Geneva, the United States, Great Britain and France
reached an accord on Indochina which divided Vietnam into
two countries, North and South, along the 17th parallel. 

1972 Carroll Rosenbloom (owner of the Baltimore Colts) and
Robert Irsay (owner of the Los Angeles Rams) traded teams. 

1978 Lee Iacocca was fired as president of Ford Motor Co. by
chairman Henry Ford II. 

1984 In Arkansas, Terry Wallis was injured in a car accident
and was left comatose. He came out of the coma in June of
2003. 

1998 "Image of an Assassination" went on sale. The video
documentary is of Abraham Zapruder's home video of U.S.
President Kennedy's assassination in Dallas. 

1998 RealNetworks Inc. rolled out a test version of
RealSystem G2. G2 is a streaming video and audio delivery
system. 

2000 The United States and Vietnam signed a major trade
agreement. The pact still needed to be approved by the U.S.
Congress. 

2000 Sprint Corp. and WorldCom canceled their planned merger
due to opposition by regulators in the United States and
Europe.

2016  smiled.


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Transferring Eudora Attachments and Embedded folders to new machine 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, July 12

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: N.J. man repeatedly paid PA woman for sex with 2 juvenile girls. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 12, in N.J. man paid PA woman for sex with 2 juvenile girls. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers. --- Daniel J. Boorstin (1914 - ) "A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both." --- Barr It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours. --- Harry S Truman ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ For their 20th anniversary Sue and her husband vacationed in Hawaii, where we went snorkeling. After an hour in the water, everyone got back on the boat, except for Sue and one handsome young man. As she continued her underwater exploring, she noticed that everywhere she swam, he swam. She snorkeled for another 40 minutes. So did he. Sue felt very flattered and, as she took off her fins, she asked him coyly why he had stayed in the water for so long. "I'm the lifeguard," he replied matter-of-factly. "I couldn't get out until you did."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A little boy went to dinner with his parents at the home of an elderly gentleman. After watching the old man bow his head and speak in a soft voice, the boy asked his mother, "Why did he mumble and cuss to his plate?" ______________________________________________________ When a guy's printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job himself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?" "Actually, it's my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by N.J. man repeatedly paid PA woman for sex with 2 juvenile girls. Esperanza Mani-Cortez, 44, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Alfredo Rosales, 51, Englewood, New Jersy A Bergen County man has been charged with paying a Philadelphia woman to arrange sexual encounters with two juvenile girls on multiple occasions since 2010, authorities said Monday. Alfredo Rosales, 51, of Englewood, and Esperanza Mani- Cortez, 44, of Philadelphia, face multiple sexual assault and child endangerment charges, acting Bergen County Prosecutor Gurbir S. Grewal said. Rosales was engaging in sexual activity with a 14-year-old girl and had been sexually assaulting another girl, 12, since 2010, authorities said. Englewood police received information Friday that Rosales was with the 14-year-old girl, authorities said. Officials said the juveniles were made available to Rosales through Mani-Cortez, who "received financial compensation" in exchange. Rosales and Mani-Cortez were arrested Saturday and each charged with three counts of aggravated sexual assault, two counts of sexual assault by sexual contact, one count of aggravated criminal sexual contact and two counts of endangering the welfare of a child, the prosecutor's office said. Judge Gregg Padovano set Rosales's bail at $500,000 and Mani-Cortez's at $300,000. Both were ordered to have no contact with the victims and must surrender their passports as conditions of bail, the prosecutor's office said. The two remain at the Bergen County Jail and are scheduled to make their first appearances in court Tuesday. Rosales and Mani-Cortez were arrested following an investigation by the prosecutor's office Special Victims Unit and Englewood police. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jim RE: Embedded and Attachments folders in Eudora Dear Webby, Another question I have, forgot on the first email. With my PC, the attachments and embedded images are all saved in a folder. Does the same thing hold true on my laptop? I haven't found any yet. Again, Many thanks. j Dear Jim Yes, inside the Eudora folder there is a folder called Attachments and one called Embedded. You might have specified different ones. You can do that with Eudora. Hopefully you made folders for those inside the Eudora folder, and specified those in the Eudora setup. If not, look in the setup on the old machine what you had specified, hopefully not deep down some wacky Windoze tree branch, copy them to the new machine INTO the Eudora folder, and specify those in TOOLS, OPTIONS on the new machine. It's a good system that has served me well for a long time. You CAN, if you want, make an Attachments folder where your graphics program is, and then set that as the default receiver for attachments. Your choice. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ SUNDAY SCHOOL IN NEBRASKA There was a Sunday school in Nebraska with thriteen children between the ages 4 to 5 yrs old. When the Sunday school teacher asked everyone to raise their hand if they wanted to go to heaven. Twelve of the chidren raised their hand, all except for four year old Johnny. When the Sunday school teacher asked: "Johnny, don't you want to go to Heaven?" Johnny looked around at everyone and replied: Not if this bunch is going." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Egg-Free Cookie Cake Flag By attosa [217 Posts, 506 Comments] This cookie cake is not only extremely delicious but also pretty nutritious and super easy to make! It's so good, it's hard to believe there are no eggs or oils involved. If you swap out the yogurt for soy yogurt, it becomes completely vegan. Approximate Time: 45 minutes Yield: 12 Ingredients: 1 cup vanilla yogurt (use soy for vegan cookie cake) 1/2 cup peanut butter (I prefer chunky for texture) 1 cup brown sugar 1 tsp baking soda 2 cups flour 8 oz chocolate chips Steps: Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In a bowl, combine yogurt, peanut butter and brown sugar. Mix until well combined. Add the baking soda and flour. Mix until combined. Batter will be thick. Fold in the chocolate chips. Pat the mixture into a pie dish. Bake for 25-30 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ My sister landed a good job with an accounting firm, and after a while she got a generous raise. The day she found out about it, her husband picked her up from work, and they stopped for ice cream. As they continued home, my sister blurted out, "Isn't it hard to believe that I have a job that pays this much money?" Just then, she went to toss the last of her ice cream cone out the window. However, they were just passing a big truck and a gust of turbulence blew it back in and stuck it to her nose. Her husband looked at her and calmly replied, "Yes, it IS amazing!" ___________________________________________________
Bach in the woods
____________________________________________________ A cashier In the grocery store held up a small dairy carton and yelled to an older co-worker, "How much is half-and- half?" Without a moment's hesitation and in a very patient voice, the other cashier replied, "One." ____________________________________________________ A Bonehead Award goes to all those people who made it necessary for the manufacturer of a baby stroller to include the following warning with their product: "Remove child before folding." ____________________________________________________
I hope these untouched places stay untouched by mankind.

Today on July 12
1096 Crusaders under Peter the Hermit reached Sofia,
Bulgaria. There they met their Byzantine escort, which
brought them safely the rest of the way to Constantinople.
by August 1. 

1543 England's King Henry VIII married his sixth and last
wife, Catherine Parr. 

1690 Protestant forces led by William of Orange defeated
the Roman Catholic army of James II. 

1691 William III defeated the allied Irish and French
armies at the Battle of Aughrim, Ireland. 

1790 The French Assembly approved a Civil Constitution
providing for the election of priests and bishops. 

1806 The Confederation of the Rhine was established in
Germany. 

1862 The U.S. Congress authorized the Medal of Honor. 

1864 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln witnessed the battle
where Union forces repelled Jubal Early's army on the
outskirts of Washington, DC. 

1870 The first rotary can opener with a cutting wheel was
patented by William W. Lyman. 

1912 The first foreign-made film to premiere in America,
"Queen Elizabeth", was shown. 

1933 A minimum wage of 40 cents an hour was established in
the U.S. 

1941 Moscow was bombed by the German Luftwaffe for the
first time. 

1946 "The Adventures of Sam Spade" was heard on ABC radio
for the first time. 

1954 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower proposed a
highway modernization program, with costs to be shared by
federal and state governments. 

1957 The U.S. surgeon general, Leroy E. Burney, reported
that there was a direct link between smoking and lung
cancer. 

1960 Manufacturing began for the Etch A Sketch®. 

1982 "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial" broke all box-office
records by surpassing the $100-million mark of ticket sales
in the first 31 days of its opening. 

1982 The last of the distinctive-looking Checker taxicabs
rolled off the assembly line in Kalamazoo, MI. 

1984 Democratic presidential candidate Walter F. Mondale
named U.S. Rep. Geraldine A. Ferraro of New York to be his
running mate. Ferraro was the first woman to run for vice
president on a major party ticket. 

1990 Russian republic president Boris N. Yeltsin announced
his resignation from the the Soviet Communist Party. 

1998 1.7 billion people watched soccer's World Cup finals
between France and Brazil. France won 3-0. 

1999 Walt Disney Co. announced that it was merging all of
its Internet operations together with Infoseek into Go.com. 

2000 Russia launched the Zvezda after two years of delays.
The module was built to be the living quarters for the
International Space Station (ISS.) 

2000 The movie "X-Men" premiered in New York.

2016  smiled.


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How reliable is rental car booking over the web? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, July 11

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Florida mom arrested for leaving child at Bridge of Lions seawall Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 10, in 1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg was elected Holy Roman Emperor in Germany. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ "Genius without education is like silver in the mine." --- Benjamin Franklin "Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams." --- Mary Kelly ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A Malaysian monkey that had been trained to gather coconuts from trees demonstrated a pressing need for a refresher course when it leapt onto the shoulders of a passer-by in Kuala Lumpur and tried to twist his head off. The man was treated at a local hospital for a sprained neck. [He should consider himself lucky that the monkey wasn't trained to retrieve walnuts!]
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?" His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny." Johnny said: "WOW! I can see why they threw him out!" ______________________________________________________ An American attorney had just finished a guest lecture at a law school in Italy when an Italian lawyer approached him and asked, "Is it true that a person can fall down on a sidewalk in your county and then sue the landowners for lots of money?" Told that it was true, the lawyer turned to his partner and started speaking rapidly in Italian. When they stopped, the American attorney asked if they wanted to go to America to practice law. "No, no," one replied. "We want to go to America and fall down on sidewalks." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mom arrested for leaving child at Bridge of Lions Jennifer Belk, 26, Keystone Heights, Florida A mother is accused of abandoning her child in historic St. Augustine on the Fourth of July. The St. Augustine Police Department said they received complaints Monday about Jennifer Belk, 26, of Keystone Heights. Deputies found her walking along the Bridge of Lions, where she admitted to leaving her child near the seawall. When asked why, Belk told deputies, "It's legal for me to kill him when he is inside me, but not when he is out?" The child was found by officers, and wasn't injured, authorities said. The Florida Department of Children and Families was notified and took custody of the child. Belk was arrested and charged with child neglect. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Alexa RE: How reliable is rental car booking over the web? Dear Webby, how reliable is it to reserve a rental car over the web ? You probably travel a lot. Which chain would you recommend? And what tips have you got? Alexa Dear Alexa I have not travelled in the last few years. Reserving a car over the net is probably THE most reliable way to do it. You get all the papers in email and can print them out long before you ever pack your stuff. I have tried all the big chains at one time or another, but the company that I am the happy with is National. At large locations like Las Vegas book something small and cheap. Booking over the web gives you an automatic free upgrade to the next class. Then, when you go pick it out, they tell you to pick whatever you want, that is freshly washed and cleaned. Keep in mind, though, bigger vehicles are more comfortable, but use more fuel. Don't jump too many classes up! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Three guys, a Newfie, a Quebecker and a New Yorker had shore leave from their jobs on a tanker. They were walking along the dunes a mile from the beach. As it happens so often in this type of joke, they came across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you each one wish, that's three wishes total," said the Genie. The New Yorker said: "I want to have the biggest @#$% tanker in the world and I want it right @#$%& here!" With a blink of the Genie's eye and an ear shattering boom, a half mile long tanker landed stuck in the sand dunes in front of him. Seems the Genie was not impressed by the profanity. Next the Quebecker spoke up: "I love my home, La Belle Provence Quebec, but it is being ruined by tourists who don't even speak French. I want a wall all around it that is impenetrable to tourists." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Quebec, so tall that they can see it from where they are on the shores of Newfoundland. The Newfie then asked: "I'm very curious. Please tell me about this wall !" The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 100 feet thick and completely surrounds the Quebec; no person can get in or out---virtually impenetrable." "Hmm, well, in that case, fill up the space within them thar walls with Screech, and have a tap for Newfies right here." (Screech is Newfie Moonshine, a VERY alcoholic liquid that tastes like a combination of bitter rum barrel drippings and JP4.) ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Tree Sap From Hair Believe it or not, peanut butter will do the job! I used to use it on my kids' hands when they got pitch on them - it is non-toxic and it really does work. (12/27/2006) By Chris My little girl had sap in her hair yesterday. I was able to remove it by rubbing olive oil (less than a teaspoon) on the sapped area until it dissolved the sap (a quite interesting smell; like a tree salad), and then shampoo her hair at bath time. (06/08/2007) By Jose When I was logging or cutting firewood I used to carry some OFF in the warm season or WD40 the rest of the year. They soften the sap in half a minute, so that it can be wiped onto the pocket rag or the jeans. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years before the Gulf War. She noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. Ms.Walters approached one of the women and said, "This is marvelous. Can you tell the world just what enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?" The Kuwaiti woman frowned and replied: "Land mines." ___________________________________________________
we could learn something here!
____________________________________________________ Groan Alert: A lot of money is tainted. It aint yours and it aint mine. ____________________________________________________ A boy and his father were at the dining room table working on the boy's Social Studies homework. The boy turned to his father and asked, "Dad, how many people work in the U.S. government?" Without hesitation, the father replied, "Oh, probably less than half of them." ____________________________________________________
32 people having a worse day than you.

Today on July 11
1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg was elected Holy Roman
Emperor in Germany. 

1533 Henry VIII, who divorced his wife and became head of
the church of England, was excommunicated from the Catholic
Church by Pope Clement VII. 

1708 The French were defeated at Oudenarde, Malplaquet, in
the Netherlands by the Duke of Marlborough and Eugene of
Savoy. 

1742 A papal decree was issued condemning the disciplining
actions of the Jesuits in China. 

1786 Morocco agreed to stop attacking American ships in the
Mediterranean for a payment of $10,000. They got the
money,
but continued attacking merchant ships.

1798 The U.S. Marine Corps was formally re-established by
"An Act for Establishing a Marine Corps" passed by the U.S.
Congress. The act also created the U.S. Marine Band. The
Marines were first commissioned by the Continental Congress
on November 10, 1775. 

1804 The United States' first secretary of the treasury,
Alexander Hamilton, was killed by Vice President Aaron Burr
in a duel. 

1864 In the U.S., Confederate forces led by Gen. Jubal
Early began an invasion of Washington, DC. They turned back
the next day. 

1934 U.S. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt became the
first American chief executive to travel through the Panama
Canal while in office. 

1955 The U.S. Air Force Academy was dedicated in Colorado
at Lowry Air Base. 

1962 The first transatlantic TV transmission was sent
through the Telstar I satellite. 

1972 U.S. forces broke the 95-day siege at An Loc in
Vietnam. 

1979 The abandoned U.S. space station Skylab returned to
Earth. It burned up in the atmosphere and showered debris
over the Indian Ocean and Australia. 

1985 Dr. H. Harlan Stone announced that he had used zippers
for stitches on 28 patients. The zippers were used when he
thought he may have to re-operate. 

1995 Full diplomatic relations were established between the
United States and Vietnam. 

1999 A U.S. Air Force jet flew over the Antarctic and
dropped off emergency medical supplies for Dr. Jerri Nelson
after she had discovered a lump in her breast. Nelso was
at
the Amundsen-Scott South Pole Research Center . 

2000 The video "Jaws," the Anniversary Collector's Edition,
was released. 

2000 Liam Neeson broke his pelvis after hitting a deer with
his Harley Davidson motorcycle. 

2008 Apple released the iPhone 3G.

2016  smiled.


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Spam pretending to be from me 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, July 10

Thank you, Claude!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Attempted Murder-By-Hanging In Parleys Canyon interrupted by firefighters Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 10, in 1821 U.S. troops took possession of Florida. The territory was sold by Spain. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose. --- Heda Bejar A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to payoff with your money. --- G. Gordon Liddy The Carbon Tax scheme is just a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. --- D.W. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A fine funeral was ordered for a woman who had henpecked her husband, driven her kids half nuts, scrapped with the neighbors at the slightest opportunity, and even made neurotics of the cat and dog with her explosive temper. As the casket was lowered into the grave, a violent thunderstorm broke, and the pastor's benediction was drowned out by a blinding flash of lightning, followed by terrific thunder. "Well," commented her husband, "sounds like she got told where to go."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A classic: A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined. After the trial he asked the judge, "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true. "Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action. The man then proceeded to look directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson." ______________________________________________________ TEACHER: Max, use "defeat", "defense", and "detail" in a sentence. MAX: The rabbit cut across the field, and defeat went over defense before detail. TEACHER: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? VINCENT: One dollar. TEACHER: (sadly) You don't know your arithmetic. VINCENT: (sadly) You don't know my father. TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? Max: VERY big hands! ______________________________________________________ NM rocks From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Attempted Murder-By-Hanging In Parleys Canyon interrupted by firefighters Juan Echeveste Alba, 22, Salt Lake City, Utah A weekend dispatch call that sent firefighters up Parleys Canyon in search of a phantom fire may have saved a woman from murder by hanging. Four Unified Fire Authority firefighters could not find the reported smoke on Friday, so picked a random exit off Interstate 80 to turn their vehicle around. They exited at milepost 131, and noticed a car “awkwardly positioned,” and blocking the road, according to Utah Highway Patrol Sgt. Randy Riches. The firefighters reported that they noticed a man and woman nearby, and saw the man was pulling on a rope around the woman’s neck, as if to hang her. The other end of the rope was strung up and over a metal pipe, and the woman was crying and pulling at the rope as it constricted her neck. The man reportedly saw the firefighters, and forced the woman into his car. The firefighters rushed the vehicle and restrained the man until Utah Highway Patrol troopers arrived and made an arrest. Juan Echeveste Alba, 22, of Salt Lake City, was arrested on suspicion of attempted murder and aggravated kidnapping. The woman told officer that Echeveste-Alba has tried to hurt her in the past, and once tried to strangle her, cutting off her air supply to the point that she said she saw white dots. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Mike RE: Spam pretending to be from me Dear Webby, Does this mean someone has got my passwords?? Or is it a new type of spam? It appears to be from me to me? Mike Dear Mike yes, just spam. They paste your address into the FROM slot just as easy as they paste it into the TO slot. Since most of your Senators act like they have been bought by spammers, don't expect things to get better until vigilantes take the law into their own hands and burn a few dozen spammers at the stake. Luckily for you, that particular flavor of spam can be filtered easily. Just make a filter in your MailWasher to delete and hide mail from you to you. DON'T bounce it back though! That would create a loop and plug up your mail box for good. Just set it to delete it automatically, unseen. If you are in the habit of sending memos to yourself, start putting some wacky symbols at the start of your subject line, when you do that, for example ~~ Then you can use that in the filter IF the FROM contains mike@home.com IF the SUBJECT Does-Not-Contain ~~~ THEN delete, Automatically without showing in the list Once you have made that filter in MailWasher MailWasher you will never see that type of spam again. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ The computer swallowed grandma Yes, honestly it's true. She pressed 'control' and 'enter' And disappeared from view. It devoured her completely, The thought just makes me squirm. She must have caught a virus Or been eaten by a worm. I've searched through the recycle bin And files of every kind; I've even used the Internet, But nothing did I find. In desperation, I asked Jeeves My searches to refine. The reply from him was negative, Not a thing was found 'online.' So, if inside your 'Inbox,' My Grandma you should see, Please 'Copy,''Scan' and 'Paste' her And send her back to me! This is a tribute to all the Grandmas who have been fearless and learned to use the computer. They are the greatest!!! -------------- And some GreatGrammas too! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Drink Tap Water Instead of Bottled Water By Caseye [34 Posts, 209 Comments] Conserving water is critical to all of us. While it may seem as if we have an endless supply of water, we don't. Check out the important, and very interesting, information on the Internet about how much water is consumed, where, and how much is wasted. One of best tips is to buy a stainless steel jug and fill it with ice and tap water and refill the jug whenever you want. This is very economical, too. For every 1 gallon of bottled water you drink, it costs $10.00 (way more than a gallon of gas!) But, for every 1 gallon of tap water you drink, it only costs 1 cent! Drinking tap water not only saves you money, it also helps to save the environment from plastic bottles that should be recycled but aren't. Most end up in landfills or waterways. By caseye from Plano, TX You can usually get your tap or well water tested free at any hospital. Check your local requirements. Some places require two bottles, some have a nominal charge. By the way, store bought ice is often not safe for consumption. Just take used water bottles, fill them with tap or well water, and toss them into a camp cooler filled with ice. Have FUN! DearaWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The police recently busted a man selling ' secret formula' tablets he claimed gave eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for commiting this same criminal medical fraud. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856, 1928 and 1983. ___________________________________________________
Baby does CPR
____________________________________________________ "Make me one with everything," the Buddhist monk said to the hot-dog vendor who was hawking food near the temple. The vendor made a frank with mustard, ketchup, relish, and onions. The monk took it and handed over a twenty-dollar bill. The vendor stashed the cash in his apron and turned his attention to the next customer. "But where's my change?" the monk inquired. "Change must come from within, my friend," said the vendor. ____________________________________________________ This lady surprised a burglar in her kitchen. He was all loaded down with the things he was going to steal. She had no weapon and was all alone. The only thing that she could think to do was quote Scripture. So she holds up a hand and says: "ACTS 2:38!!!" The burglar quakes in fear and then freezes to the point that she is able to get to the phone and call 911 for the cops. When the cops arrive, the burglar is still frozen in place. They are very much surprised that a woman alone with no weapon could do this. One of them asked the lady: "How did you do this?" The woman replied, "I quoted Scripture." The cop turned to the burglar: "What was it about the scripture that had such an effect on you?" The burglar replied: "Scripture! What scripture? She said she had an axe and two 38's." ____________________________________________________
Tree house living in a rain forest.

Today on July 10
1609 The Catholic states in Germany set up a league under 
 the leadership of Maximillian of Bavaria.

1679 The British crown claimed New Hampshire as a royal
colony.

1776 The statue of King George III was pulled down in 
 New York City.

1778 In support of the American Revolution, Louis XVI
declared war on England.

1821 U.S. troops took possession of Florida. The territory
was sold by Spain.

1866 Edison P. Clark patented his indelible pencil.

1910 W.R. Brookins became the first to fly an airplane at
an altitude of one mile.

1913 The highest temperature ever recorded in the U.S. was 
 134 degrees in Death Valley, CA.

1928 George Eastman first demonstrated color motion
pictures.

1938 Howard Hughes completed a 91 hour flight around the
world.

1940 The 114-day Battle of Britain began during World War
II.

1949 The first practical rectangular television was
presented. The picture tube measured 16 by 12 and sold for
$12.

1951 Armistice talks aimed at ending the Korean conflict
began 

1951 Sugar Ray Robinson was defeated for only the second
time in 133 fights as Randy Turpin took the middleweight
crown.

1953 American forces withdraw from Pork Chop Hill in Korea 
 after heavy fighting.

1962 The Telstar Communications satellite was launched. 
 The satellite relayed TV and telephone signals between 
 Europe and the U.S.

1973 Britain granted the Bahamas their independence after 
 three centuries of British colonial rule.

1985 Coca-Cola resumed selling the old formula of Coke, 
 it was renamed "Coca-Cola Classic." It was also announced 
 that they would continue to sell "New" Coke.

1991 U.S. President Bush lifted economic sanctions against 
 South Africa, citing its "profound transformation" toward
 racial equality.

1997 Scientists in London said DNA from a Neanderthal
skeleton supported a theory that all humanity descended
from an "African Eve" 100,000 to 200,000 years ago.

2002 Peter Paul Rubens' painting "The Massacre of the
Innocents" sold for $76.2 million at Sotheby's.

2016  smiled.


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New domain accessibility 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, July 9

Thank you, Claude!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Ohio day dare employee admits she raped four children while working at the center on orders of her convicted sex offender fiance. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 9, in 1808 The leather-splitting machine was patented by Samuel Parker. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. --- James Thurber ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Early one evening a gentleman scuttled out to his garage and pulled the lawn furniture out onto the driveway. Shortly after followed the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle. A curious neighbor wandered over and asked if he was going to have a garage sale. "No," replied the gentleman, "my son just bought his first car and right now he's getting ready for a big date." "So what's with all the stuff?" asked the neighbor. "Well, after years of moving tricycles, toys and sports equipment out of the way every time I came home from work I wanted to make sure the driveway was ready for him."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving a test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?" ______________________________________________________ A young boy was kneeling by his bed and saying his prayers and asked God to make him a good boy. The boy's father, passing by the bedroom, overheard his son praying, "And make me a good boy, if You can. And if You can't, don't worry about it, 'cause I'm having a lot of fun being a brat anyway." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture from Sweden: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ohio day dare employee admits she raped four children while working at the center on orders of her convicted sex offender fiance. Heather Koon, 27, Eyria, Ohio James Osborne, 37 in jail A former day care employee has admitted to raping four children while at work to obey the orders of her fiance, a convicted sex offender. Heather Koon, 27, pleaded guilty to four counts of rape Thursday in Elyria, Ohio, according to the Chronicle- Telegram. Her fiance James Osborne, 37, who is currently serving an eight-year prison sentence on previous child pornography charges, also pleaded guilty in this case. Koon raped four children while working at the ABC Kidz Child Care center in Elyria in March and April 2013. Police arrested Koon in September 2013 at her home in Elyria, where Osborne lived while on probation on an earlier child pornography case. He pleaded guilty in 2010 to having sexually explicit photos of children on a computer he took to a repair shop in 2007, the Chronicle-Telegram reported. Officers seized a phone and a laptop at Koon's home in 2013 and on the phone found footage and pictures of her abusing children at the day care center. Osborne told her what he wanted her to do to the children using his own phone, prosecutors have said. Koon worked at ABC Kidz Child Care in Elyria for seven months until March 2013 and later took a position at Country Day School in Amherst. She is accused of raping four children at ABC Kidz Child Care and taking explicit photos of children in both locations, the Chronicle-Telegram wrote. Koon pleaded guilty Thursday to four counts of rape, kidnapping and pandering obscenity involving a minor. She also admitted to three counts of illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material, one count of tampering with evidence and one count of engaging in a pattern of corrupt activity. Meanwhile Osborne, who is serving an eight-year prison sentence in the earlier child pornography case, pleaded guilty to four counts of complicity to rape, complicity to kidnapping and pandering obscenity involving a minor. He also admitted to engaging in a pattern of corrupt activity, failure to register as a sex offender and three counts of illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material. Koon abused six children in the case, according to prosecutors. Her attorney said Thursday Koon felt 'compelled' to abuse the children but had 'a lot of remorse' for what she did. The mother of a girl who was three years old when Koon took explicit pictures of her said: 'She doesn't trust adults at all.' A father, whose daughter was two when Koon abused her, told the Chronicle-Telegram: 'Hopefully they get nothing less than life. 'I never realized creatures like this exist.' Koon and Osborne face 15 years to life in prison, and could be sentenced to life without parole if a judge finds them to be sexually violent predators, which in Ohio means people who have committed a sexually violent offense and are deemed likely to commit more offenses in the future. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Donna RE: New domain accessibility Dear Webby, From work I could get to the new domain that I ordered from you in less than two hours after I ordered it last week. From home I still can't get to it. At work we have DSL, at home I only have dial-up. Does it really take that much longer to resolve on dial-up ? Donna Dear Donna Dial-up has nothing to do with that. If you had DSL from the same ISP that you use for dial-up, you would not get to your new domain either. The difference is the different ISPs. Obviously your company selected a good one for the office, and apparently you selected a different one for your home connection. Some ISP's update their DNS, the Internet road map, three or four times per hour, some do it once a day, some do it once a week, and some, like Apathico, do it whenever they see a customer with a rolling pin or baseball bat. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Groan Alert ! A man went to see his eye doctor, who told him he had a case of myopera and would have to wear contract lenses. That's a lot better than his friend, who had had a cadillac removed. Still, when he worked at his computer, he would have to watch out for harbor tunnel syndrome. He worried that his authoritis of the joints might be a signal of Old Timer's disease and fretted that a genital heart defect was causing trouble with his duodemon. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remedies for a Stuffy Nose You need either a neti pot or saline drops, both will help. You can get both at Walmart. By anna My mother taught me this when I was little and had a very stuffy nose: Just take a cloth and wet it with hot or warm water. The hotter the better! Then just hold it up to your nose and breathe in deeply. You should start to feel you nose "un-stuffing". This will not work all day. You may have to repeat this 2-6 times per day. (05/22/2007) By Megan ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: Fifty-one years ago Herman James, a West Virginia Mountain man was drafted by the Army. On his first day in boot camp, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued him a tooth brush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On his third day the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army still has him listed as AWOL (Absent Without Official Leave-permission). ___________________________________________________
singing baby
____________________________________________________ Trisha came running into the house after summer school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!" "That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in the living room and tell me about it." "Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math, and 20 in science." ____________________________________________________ A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street between them. A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn't need a wash, so he hurried out and asked the priest what he was doing. "I'm blessing it," the priest replied. The rabbi considered this a moment, then went back inside the synagogue. He reappeared a moment later with a hacksaw, walked over to the back of the car and cut off two inches of the muffler. ____________________________________________________
This hand face art is so weird.

Today on July 9
0118 Hadrian, Rome's new emperor, made his entry into the
city.

0455 Avitus, the Roman military commander in Gaul, became 
 Emperor of the West.

1540 England's King Henry VIII had his 6-month-old marriage
 to his fourth wife, Anne of Cleves, annulled.

1609 In a letter to the crown, the emperor Rudolf II
granted Bohemia freedom of worship.

1790 The Swedish navy captured one third of the Russian
fleet at the naval battle of Svensksund in the Baltic Sea.

1808 The leather-splitting machine was patented by Samuel
Parker.

1816 Argentina declared independence from Spain.

1872 The doughnut cutter was patented by John F. Blondel.

1877 Alexander Graham Bell, Gardiner Greene Hubbard, Thomas

 Sanders and Thomas Watson formed the Bell Telephone
Company.

1878 The corncob pipe was patented by Henry Tibbe.

1943 American and British forces made an amphibious landing
on Sicily.

1947 The engagement of Britain's Princess Elizabeth to 
 Lt. Philip Mountbatten was announced.

1951 U.S. President Truman asked Congress to formally end 
 the state of war between the United States and Germany.

1971 The United States turned over complete responsibility
of the Demilitarized Zone to South Vietnamese units.

1997 Mike Tyson was banned from the boxing ring and fined 
 $3 million for biting the ear of opponent Evander
Holyfield.

2005 Danny Way, a daredevil skateboarder, rolled down a 
 large ramp and jumped across the Great Wall of China.

2016  smiled.


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Trotux browser hijacker 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, July 8
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Mother in Daytona Beach attack swung baby 'like a bat'. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 8, in 1099 Christian soldiers on the First Crusade march around Jerusalem. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. --- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821) --- Broom Hilda The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it. --- Patrick Young "Everyone wants to save the earth. Nobody wants to help mom with the dishes" --- P.J. O'Rourke ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A man goes into a drug store and asks the pharmacist if he can give him something for the hiccups. The pharmacist promptly reaches out and slaps the man's face. (Whack) "What did you do that for?" the man asks. "Well, you don't have the hiccups anymore, do you?" The man says, "No, but my wife out in the car still does! By the way, I don't think you should try that with her. She's the county wrestling champion." ______________________________________________________ A man buys a parrot from a pet shop. The parrot is highly intelligent but all he ever does is swear. Day and night the parrot shouts out obscene words and phrases until one day the man decides to teach him a lesson. He is standing in the kitchen with the parrot, constantly swearing, seated on his shoulder. The man tells the parrot that if he doesn`t stop swearing he is going to open the door of his freezer and throw him in. The parrot laughs and tells him that he wouldn`t dare. The parrot ignores the threat and sure enough, the man opens his freezer, grabs the bird by its neck, throws him inside and slams it shut. The bird bangs constantly on the door asking to be let out and promises never to swear again. After about 5 minutes the man agrees to give the bird 1 more chance and places him back on his shoulder. After a few minutes the parrot has warmed up again and asks the man, "What did the chicken do?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mother in Daytona Beach attack swung baby 'like a bat'. Tatyana Allen, 18, Orlando, Florida An Orlando woman accused of swinging her 6-month-old boy like a bat to strike her boyfriend had been arguing with him because he refused to walk with her to the bathroom, Volusia County Beach Safety Ocean Rescue officials said. Daytona Beach police were earlier called to the disturbance on the boardwalk west of the 300 block of Atlantic Avenue before the beach incident, beach officials said. Tatyana Allen, 18, was charged with battery and infliction of physical/mental injury on a child. She was being held Tuesday on $30,000 bail at the Volusia County Branch Jail, records show. According to a report from Beach Safety Ocean Rescue, a large crowd had gathered by the ambulance where the small boy was being treated. Witnesses told beach investigators that they saw Allen walk up to her boyfriend, the baby's father, and punch him several times in the face. Allen then grabbed her baby as a weapon and swung him "like a bat" at her boyfriend, the report states. Allen dropped the baby facedown in the sand and the boyfriend picked up the baby, the report states. "She just beat her like 3-month-old baby, if that, against her boyfriend and threw him in the sand facedown," a caller told a 9-1-1 dispatcher. "The baby was screaming. It was facedown in the sand, it can't hold its head up." The caller said Allen smacked the baby, which was covered in sand. "She is going freaking insane," the caller said on the 9-1- 1 call. Witnesses said "Allen was extremely rough with the baby," investigating officers wrote in their report. As Allen walked up the steps to the boardwalk, the baby's head also struck a railing, the report states. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Alexa RE: Trotux Dear Webby, Thanks Webby....I might try that for her at the weekend when i visit her..if no luck she will be getting her win 7 back! She said she upgraded because she wanted to get it while it was still free, until the end of the month I think Now I have a problem myself..I have somehow managed to get Trotux on my computer and have no luck in removing it so far..can you help? Please :-) Thank you Alexa Dear Alexa I am not going to take credit for how to remove the Trotux hijacker. It is already posted at http://www.bleepingcomputer.com/virus-removal/remove- trotux.com-browser-hijacker Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ Thanks to the Folks from Erie for this one: WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY! My face in the mirror Isn't wrinkled or drawn. My house isn't dirty. The cobwebs are gone. My garden looks lovely And so does my lawn. I think I might never Put my glasses back on. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remedies for a Stuffy Nose You need either a neti pot or saline drops, both will help. You can get both at Walmart. By anna My mother taught me this when I was little and had a very stuffy nose: Just take a cloth and wet it with hot or warm water. The hotter the better! Then just hold it up to your nose and breathe in deeply. You should start to feel you nose "un-stuffing". This will not work all day. You may have to repeat this 2-6 times per day. (05/22/2007) By Megan ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Parents work hard to give their children a better life than they had . . . then complain about how easy the kids have it. ___________________________________________________
thinking outside the box
____________________________________________________ A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said. "So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine." ____________________________________________________ Joe was hospitalized for a few days, and his wife reported that his dog really missed him. "She spends the night at the front door, awaiting your return," she said. "What an example of true love," he replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?" "Honey," his wife answered, as she grabbed the rolling pin, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure I'd be waiting for you at the front door." ____________________________________________________
Magnificent doors from around the world.

Today on July 8

1099 Christian soldiers on the First Crusade march around 
 Jerusalem.

1608 The first French settlement at Quebec was established
by Samuel de Champlain.

1663 King Charles II of England granted a charter to 
 Rhode Island.

1693 Uniforms for police in New York City were authorized.

1709 Peter the Great defeated Charles XII at Poltava, in 
 the Ukraine, The Swedish empire was effectively ended.

1755 Britain broke off diplomatic relations with France as 
 their disputes in the New World intensified.

1794 French troops captured Brussels, Belgium.

1815 Louis XVIII returned to Paris after the defeat of 
 Napoleon.

1865 C.E. Barnes patented the machine gun.

1879 The first ship to use electric lights departed from 
 San Francisco, CA.

1881 Edward Berner, druggist in Two Rivers, WI, poured 
 chocolate syrup onto ice cream in a dish. To that time 
 chocolate syrup had only been used for making ice-cream
sodas.

1889 John L. Sullivan defeated Jake Kilrain, in the last 
 championship bare-knuckle fight. The fight lasted 75
rounds.

1950 General Douglas MacArthur was named commander-in-chief
of United Nations forces in Korea.

1960 The Soviet Union charged Gary Powers with espionage.
He was shot down in a U-2 spy plane.

1963 All Cuban-owned assets in the United States were
frozen. 

1981 The Solar Challenger became the frist solar-powered
airplane to cross the English Channel.

1986 Kurt Waldheim was inaugurated as president of Austria 
 despite controversy over his alleged ties to Nazi war
crimes.

1997 NATO invited Poland, Hungary, and the Czech Republic
to join the alliance in 1999.

2010 The Solar Impulse completed the first 24-hour flight 
 by a solar powered plane.

2016  smiled.


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Computer body fix 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, July 7

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Florida Bartender claims she was kidnapped in order to hide her affair from her husband. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 7, in 1846 U.S. annexation of California was proclaimed at Monterey after the surrender of a Mexican garrison. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. --- Napoleon Bonaparte (1769 - 1821) --- Broom Hilda ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Harry sent a quick email to his supervisor. "Boss," he wrote, "My mother-in-law is doing some heavy house-cleaning tomorrow, and wants me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Harry," the boss replied. "I can't give you the day off." After Harry printed his reply, he wrote back to him: "Thanks, boss, I knew I could count on you!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Ed told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just a lazy old fart." "Okay," said the man. "Now give me the latin term so I can tell my wife." ______________________________________________________ A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice: "Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000." There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded room. Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet, nasal voice of an elderly woman is heard, "So, what did you do with the money?" ______________________________________________________ European Roller ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Bartender claims she was kidnapped in order to hide her affair from her husband. Karla Vasquez, 32, Miami, Florida "Miami STRIP CLUB THOT Is Arrested For FAKING HER KIDNAPPING So Her Husband Wouldn’t Catch Her CHEATING!" A Miami strip club "bartender" was arrested yesterday. Officials say that she faked her own kidnapping so her husband wouldn’t know she was out with another man. The 32 year old Karla Vasquez allegedly tricked her husband, Daniel Pacheco, into thinking she was kidnapped. Officials say that Karla called Daniel, and told him that she was kidnapped in her car. Daniel panicked and immediately called the cops. But police say that Karla was just a LYING THOT. Cops used the GPS systems in Vasquez’s car and phone to track her down. Vasquez was spotted around 3 p.m. driving the car she claimed she was kidnapped in. Vasquez told police that she actually never went home after work, and instead went to a bar where she met the other man and “decided to spend the night with him,” according to the report. When officers found out Vasquez’s story was a lie, they arrested her for falsely reporting an alleged crime. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jannie RE: Computer body fix Dear Webby, I bought a program that fixes 'the brain' but not the 'body' of my computer. I had a warning of a crash a couple hours ago. What program is best AND lowest price to deal with this? Thanks. Jannie Dear Jannie Write to support of that secret mystery program that supposedly fixes the brain but then takes it's ass out of gear. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order. As the harried-looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor. "They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer. "That wasn't supposed to happen until you unloaded them at home!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Flowering Plants May be Weeds By Judy Pariser S. [108 Posts, 108 Comments] This plant with pretty purple flowers popped up in my garden this year, and I never planted it. When I went to the garden center, I found out it is called purple loosestrife, and is very invasive. The person I spoke to said to be very wary when things you didn't plant pop up in your garden! By likekinds [153 Posts, 762 Comments] I just read that, indeed, this plant is highly invasive. The plant spreads to new areas by means of seed dispersal. One plant can produce as many as 2 million seeds per year. You might want to Keep all blooms picked before they set seed. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ An older couple had a son, who was still living at home. They were a little worried, as the son was still unable to decide about his future career, so they decided to do a small test. They took a ten dollar bill, a bible, and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table, then they hid in the nearby closet, pretending they were not at home. The father told his wife, "If our son takes the money, he will be a businessman, if he takes the bible, he will be a priest, but if he takes the bottle of whiskey, I'm afraid our son will be a drunkard." So, the couple waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole they saw their son arrive. He saw the note they had left. Then, he took the ten dollar bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket. After that, he took the bible, flipped through it, to see if any stashed money fell out, and tucked it under his arm. Finally, he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative sip to be assured of the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all three items. The father slapped his forehead, and said, "It's even worse than I could ever have imagined. Our son is going to be a politician!" ___________________________________________________
concrete machine goes crazy
____________________________________________________ A wife and husband both talked in their sleep. She loved auctions; his hobby was golf. The other night, as they slept, the golfer yelled, "Fore!" His wife yelled back, "Four and a quarter !" ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Ed for this one: Thanks again for this Humor Letter. This is a true account. My wife works an evening shift and has a ten mile drive each way. She felt more secure having a male mannequin in the front seat for the ten mile drive at night. She stopped for gas one evening on the way to work. A gentleman saw the mannequin in the front seat and said, "I have a problem getting dates myself too sometimes". She is not usually at loss for words but that stopped her cold! ____________________________________________________
People are awesome, Best of the Month, June.

Today on July 7

1754 Kings College opened in New York City. It was renamed
Columbia College 30 years later. 

1846 U.S. annexation of California was proclaimed at
Monterey after the surrender of a Mexican garrison. 

1862 The first railroad post office was tested on the
Hannibal and St. Joseph Railroad in Missouri. 

1885 G. Moore Peters patented the cartridge-loading
machine. 

1920 A device known as the radio compass was used for the
first time on a U.S. Navy airplane near Norfolk, VA. 

1930 Construction began on Boulder Dam, later Hoover Dam,
on the Colorado River. 

1937 Japanese forces invaded China. 

1946 Mother Frances Xavier Cabrini was canonized as the
first American saint. 

1950 The U.N. Security Council authorized military aid for
South Korea. 

1969 Canada's House of Commons gave final approval to a
measure that made the French language equal to English
throughout the national government. 

1981 U.S. President Reagan announced he was nominating
Arizona Judge Sandra Day O'Connor to become the first
female justice on the U.S. Supreme Court. 

1983 Eleven-year-old Samantha Smith of Manchester, Maine,
left for a visit to the Soviet Union at the personal
invitation of Soviet leader Yuri V. Andropov. 

1987 Public testimony at the Iran-Contra hearing began. 

1994 Amazon.com, Inc. was founded in Seattle, Washington
under the name "Cadabra." 

1998 A jury in Santa Monica, CA, convicted Mikail Markhasev
of murdering Ennis Cosby, Bill Cosby's only son, during a
roadside robbery. 

1999 In Sierra Leone, President Ahmad Tejan Kabbah and
rebel leader Foday Sankoh signed a pact to end the nation's
civil war. 

2000 Cisco Systems Inc. announced that it would buy
Netiverse Inc. for $210 million in stock. It was the 13th
time Cisco had purchased a company in 2000. 

2000 Amazon.com announced that they had sold almost 400,000
copies of "Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire," making it
the biggest selling book in e-tailing history. 

2003 In Liberia, a team of U.S. military experts arrived at
the U.S. embassy compound to assess whether to deploy
troops as part of a peacekeeping force in the country.

2016  smiled.


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Free PC Speed-up 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, July 6

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Todays Bonehead Award: Jail for English on-bike robber who stole woman’s phone – but left his own at the scene Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 6, in 1699 Captain William Kidd, the pirate, was captured in Boston, MA, and deported back to England. More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him. --- Henry Stimson (1867 - 1950) Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. --- Plato (427 BC - 347 BC) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her now ex-husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper. "Honey," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to retire six over- aged destroyers." To which the husband replies, "Oh...I'm sorry to hear your mother will be out of work."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
At an international conference, an American, a British and a Russian were discussing the shortcomings of their diagnoses. "I can't stand it some time. We treat people for cancer, and then they die of AIDS." "I know what you mean." said the British. "We treat them for yellow fever, and it turns out they had malaria. Then, of course, they die." "That is not a problem in our country" said the Russian doctor. "When we treat people for a disease, they die of *that* disease." ______________________________________________________ An American traveling through Europe is riding a train in Germany. At one point, the ticket inspector comes into the compartment, punches the passengerís ticket, and then chats cordially in German for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. The man, who speaks no German, simply smiles and nods from time to time to show that he is interested. Finally, the ticket inspector bows and leaves the compartment. At that point, a woman sitting across from the man leans forward and says in English, "You don't speak any German, do you?" "No," the man says. "Then that explains why you didn't bat an eye when he told you that you were on the wrong train, going in the wrong direction and that the next stop is an hour from now." ______________________________________________________ Lake Braies, Italy ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jail for English on-bike robber who stole woman’s phone – but left his own at the scene Mark Mick, 30, Highbury New Park, England Mark Mick, 30, snatched the phone from the 30-year-old victim after cycling up behind her in Clissold Crescent, Stoke Newington, in December. The woman grabbed hold of him to try and get it back, but was punched in the side of the head and knocked backwards. Mick, of Highbury New Park, then fled the scene, but not before dropping his own phone in the struggle. Police couldn’t believe their luck when they arrived to find it on the floor, and were able to identify him as a result. Mick was eventually nicked in March and picked out in an identity parade by the woman before being charged with robbery. He pleaded guilty and was sentenced yesterday to three years and four months in jail at Wood Green Crown Court. Det Con Scott Johnson of Hackney CID, said: “Mick robbed a lone woman and used violence to carry out the theft. “Thankfully he left his own phone at the scene and we were able to identify him as a suspect and arrest him." “With the assistance of the victim we were able gather all the necessary evidence to charge him and I would like to thank her for her support and courage in bringing this man to justice.” ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Richi RE: PC Speed-up Dear Webby, is there any free software that does actually work and will speed up the computer, to where you will notice a difference? tyvm for all he help.its greatly appreciated Richi Dear Richi Lots of software claims to do that. If it actually did, then they could charge BIG money for it. It would be worth more than a new computer! PCMechanic comes pretty close, but the PRO version is not quite free. Use CrapCleaner to clean up. It is at http://www.piriform.com/ccleaner Go through the tools and options and see what it can do for you. Get Revo Uninstaller. http://www.revouninstaller.com/ UNinstall everything, that you don't really use. Get Defraggler at http://www.piriform.com/defraggler Defragment your hard drives. Do that AFTER you uninstall all the crap that you once thought would be handy, but that you never actually use. I realize that it is a bit tedious to do all that stuff, but transferring all your data to a new machine is tedious too, and costs a lot more. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________ In the news: "Dr. Benjamin Porter visited the school yesterday and lectured on 'Destructive Pests.' A large number were present." ------------------------ "The sewer expansion project is nearing completion but city officials are holding their breath until it is officially finished." ----------------------- "The ladies of the county medical society auxiliary plan to publish a cookbook. Part of the money will go to the Samaritan Hospital to purchase a stomach pump." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Laminate Floor Cleaner I am looking for a homemade cleaning solution for laminate flooring. By guest (Guest Post) I use vinegar and water. About 1:4 ratio. It also helps to freshen the air. I refilled the Clorox Ready-mop bottle with this solution and it works great. I use old towels cut to fit instead of the pads also. They get washed with the laundry. I love the convenience of the mop but can't stand the waste. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Laura was attending her High School reunion and was having a blast. As the evening was drawing to a close, the master of ceremonies for the night proceeded to hand out bottles of champagne to the graduates who had traveled the farthest distance to attend the reunion, the graduate who had been married the longest time, the graduate who had become the most successful, etc. Laura wondered if she was going to get a prize too. Sure enough, the master of ceremonies called out her name. "Laura, you win with 11 kids." and then, trying to be clever, he added: "And champagne is only half the prize. The other half is a giant, economy size bottle of aspirin." "Don't bother with the aspirin," Laura replied. "It's obvious with this many kids, that I've never had a headache!" ___________________________________________________
competitive four
____________________________________________________ Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. "Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?" he asked his mother. "He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and said: "I hope you don't start thinking. You would look weird with a bald head !" ____________________________________________________ Many years Fred's wife was to knitting what Tiger Woods is to golf. She designed exotic patterns with ease. There was an occasion when they had lunch in a real Chinese restaurant (only one person spoke partial English, all menus were in Chinese). When she saw the hand-written menu she was so impressed with the caligraphy she tucked the menu in her purse. Some months later she finished the result, a stunning white sweater with the Chinese symbols hand-stiched down the front. She received compliments galore until one cocktail party when they met a distiguished Chinese physician who asked her where she got the symbols. He then wanted to know if she knew what they meant. "I'm afraid to ask," she said, "but tell me anyway." Even she had to laugh when he told her they read, "This is a cheap dish--but good." ____________________________________________________
I love archaeological mysteries!

Today on July 6
1483 King Richard III of England was crowned.

1699 Captain William Kidd, the pirate, was captured in 
 Boston, MA, and deported back to England.

1777 British forces captured Fort Ticonderoga during 
 the American Revolution.

1858 Lyman Blake patented the shoe manufacturing machine.

1885 Louis Pasteur successfully tested his anti-rabies
vaccine. The child used in the test later became the
director of the Pasteur Institute.

1905 Fingerprints were exchanged for the first time between
 officials in Europe and the U.S. The person in question 
 was John Walker.

1917 During World War I, Arab forces led by T.E. Lawrence 
 captured the port of Aqaba from the Turks.

1923 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was
established.

1967 The Biafran War erupted. The war lasted two-and-a-half
 years. About 600,000 people died.

1981 Former President of Argentina Isabel Peron was freed 
 after five years of house arrest by a federal court.

1981 The Dupont Company announced an agreement to purchase 
 Conoco, Inc. (Continental Oil Co.) for $7 billion.

1983 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that retirement plans 
 could not pay women smaller monthly payments solely 
 because of their gender.

1988 Several popular beaches were closed in 
 New York City due to medical waste and other debris 
 washing up on the seashores.

1997 The Mars Pathfinder released Sojourner, a robot 
 rover on the surface of Mars. The spacecraft landed on 
 the red planet on July 4th.

1998 Protestants rioted in many parts of Northern Ireland 
 after British authorities blocked an Orange Order march 
 in Portadown.

2000 A jury awarded former NHL player Tony Twist $24
million for the unauthorized use of his name in the comic
book Spawn and the HBO cartoon series. Co-defendant HBO
settled with Twist out of court for an undisclosed amount. 

2016  smiled.


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HTML from MS WORD 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, July 5

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Independence Day Sale
$60 off!!
8 days only.
$60 off at <a href=http://webby.com/mac.html" align=left/>
With this coupon only!
Save $60 if you order it during those 8 days!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Todays Bonehead Award: Drunk 19-year-old babysitter with 4 kids in car charged with DUI on Long Island. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 5, in 1951 Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented the junction transistor. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known. --- Thomas Pickering It's useless trying to hold a person to anything s/he says while s/he's in love, drunk or running for office. --- Socratex There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. --- Mark Twain ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ We are now seeing a new, redesigned $20 bill. This is part of an anti-counterfeiting program to redesign all of our old currency, which has become too easy to duplicate with modern color photocopiers- a fact that was made all too clear when Xerox, in its 2012 annual report, reported profits of "$850 Billion, mostly in $20's".
Independence Day Sale
$60 off!!
8 days only.
$60 off at <a href=http://webby.com/mac.html" align=left/>
With this coupon only!
Save $60 if you order it during those 8 days!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Several weeks after his birthday, I stopped by my sister's house and my 7 year old nephew greeted me with, "Thanks for the Sea Scout Signal Whistle you gave me for my birthday ! It's the best birthday present I ever got." "That's great, Did you learn how to pipe any signals on it ?" "Oh, I don't play with it," the little guy said. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to blow it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to blow it at night." ______________________________________________________ Anni got a part time job in a local restaurant to pick up a little money. She was concerned about being able to carry the heavy trays and serve from them but a co-worker explained that there were tray stands placed throughout the restaurant. A nervous Anni served all the lunches successfully last Saturday utilizing every stand she could find. Afterward Anni was concerned about an elderly couple that had finished some time ago and paid their check, but remained sitting at the table. When Anni asked if everything had been all right, the man said quietly, " Yes, It was fine, dear, but my wife and I would like to leave now and we were wondering if she could please have her walker back?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Drunk 19-year-old babysitter with 4 kids in car charged with DUI on Long Island. Sabrina Macri, 19, Mount Sinai, Long Island Suffolk County police arrested a 19-year-old babysitter Thursday afternoon after a good Samaritan called police to report the woman was intoxicated with four children in her car. The call came around 2 p.m. after the witness observed a driver apparently unable to locate her vehicle in the parking lot of Cedar Beach, located on Harbor Beach Road in Mount Sinai. The suspect, identified as Sabrina Macri, had four boys ranging in age from 4 to 11 in her care. Authorities say that once she located her vehicle, a black 2015 Honda Civic, Macri attempted to drive away, and the good Samaritan -- Nicole Diaz -- used her own vehicle to block the Honda until police arrived. "I just couldn't let her leave with those kids, couldn't let her leave," Diaz said. "I just pulled my car across, I blocked everybody in. She's not getting out, and no one else is." Macri, of Sound Beach, was charged with DWI, Aggravated DWI with a child passenger 15 years or younger (Leandra's Law), four counts of endangering the welfare of a child and two counts of criminal possession of a controlled substance. Prosecutors said Macri was defiant at the scene, telling the officer, "I (expletive) hate you, you guys have to let me go. I didn't do anything. So what if I had a few drinks? That's what people my age do, you (expletive) loser." Diaz said she was horrified at what she saw, and that she is happy the children are OK. "It's a very small lot," she said. "There's one way in, one way out. So I just sat at the exit, waited for her to make her move. And when she decided to drive it out of the parking lot, I wouldn't let her. You just knew that she shouldn't have been driving." Macri pleaded not guilty at her arraignment Friday. The girl's mother was in court but refused to comment as she left, though the family assured the judge that Macri would get treatment. "She's responsible for four children," Diaz said, "Sh needs to act the way someone responsible for four children should act." The judge issued an order of protection on behalf of the children. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Maria RE: HTML from MS WORD Dear Webby, I write my web pages by saving MS WORD docs as HTML. Usually that works OK. When it didn't, I asked my ISP to look at it and fix it. He got quite rude about it and was of no help. Can you fix it for me? Maria Dear Maria No, I won't, but I'll try not to get rude about it. The HTML produced by WORD does sorta work, but it is definitely not suitable for quick fixes or updating. The code looks awful and any fixes are very time consuming, especially when compared to clean HTML. Your best bet is to just write a new doc and convert that, or use a proper HTML editor to write your pages. I doubt that you will find any volunteer to fix that page for free, or even for pay. You can write the page with Open Office WRITE, and save it as HTML. That produces fairly good HTML that can be updated easily. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ "When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But my son has his own color TV, phone, computer and DVD player. "So what do you do?" asked his friend. "I send him to MY room and I go play in HIS room!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Hardwood Floor Cleaner When we built our home, I talked to the salesman in the Janitorial Supply store and asked him how to keep my floors looking their best. He said that after mopping the floor (I add Mr. Clean which removes the scuff marks and dirt really fast), to use a wide (mine is 24") dust mop and spray dust off on it and then dust the whole floor. It leaves it shiny. This is all I have done to my floors now for 14 years and they still look great. (07/02/2006) By eletha I own a cleaning business and we make most of our own products. We use a mixture of vinegar, alcohol and water with a hint of lemon. If you have pets the alcohol disinfects and prevents cats or dogs from spraying again. The lemon gives it a fresh sent and the vinegar is a fast drying agent. Works great for all floor types, even tile, linoleum. etc. Vist our website at www.HouseCleaningProfessionals.com - we would love to hear about your homemade solutions. Thanks (07/23/2008) By Jennifer ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ I attended an oil exec convention once. The first speaker was from Texas. He rambled on for a good half hour and then introduced the next gent, who happened to be from Oklahoma. The Texas man said, "Oklahoma, an outlying province of Texas." The second speaker said, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, but, just to set the record straight, there ain't NO state that can out-lie Texas." ___________________________________________________
Funny Cats
____________________________________________________ Safe way to bathe a cat 1.Prepare a tall and heavy stack of towels and tie a long string to the towel at the bottom of the stack. 2. Scrub toilet and flush several times. 3. Fill toilet with warm water and add a squirt of pet shampoo. 4. Drop cat in toilet and slam lid shut. 5. Quickly put the stack of towels on the lid. - The cat's efforts to get out will generate a good deal of sudsing and washing motions. 6. When the cat gets bored, flush toilet a couple of times to rinse the cat. 7. Lay the string that you tied to the towel at the bottom of the stack of towels on the floor out into the hallway, close the door securely. 8. Close the door securely with you safely on the HALLWAY side of it. 9. Pull on the string with short, sharp tugs to get the tall stack of towels to sway and to tumble evenly all around the toilet to absorb the water when the cat erupts from the toilet bowl. 10. Cat will sulk and plot revenge anyway, but if you feed it a pizza under the door before opening the door, it may be not too expensive. Make sure you turn all shoes and slippers upside down to avoid having them filled with tokens of revenge. ____________________________________________________ Phil and Jill had been married for many years but now were in divorce court. The judge asked, "Phil, is it true that the last three years of your marriage, you did not speak to Jill?" Phil replies, "Yes Judge, that is correct." "And how do you explain this unusual conduct?" the judge inquires. Phil replies, "Your Honor, my Ma told me not to interrupt when a woman is speaking." ____________________________________________________
Have a look at residential areas of popular tourist cities. My old farm house looks better and better to me!

Today on July 5
1806 A Spanish army repelled the British during their
attempt to retake Buenos Aires, Argentina.

1811 Venezuela became the first South American country to 
 declare independence from Spain.

1814 U.S. troops under Jacob Brown defeated a superior
British force at Chippewa, Canada.

1830 France occupied the North African city of Algiers.

1832 The German government began curtailing freedom of the 
 press after German Democrats advocate a revolt against 
 Austrian rule.

1839 British naval forces bombarded Dingai on Zhoushan
Island in China and then occupied it.

1863 U.S. Federal troops occupied Vicksburg, MS, and 
 distributed supplies to the citizens.

1892 Andrew Beard was issued a patent for a rotary
engine.

1941 German troops reached the Dnieper River in the Soviet
Union. 

1943 The battle of Kursk began as German tanks attack the 
Soviet salient. It was the largest tank battle in history.

1946 The bikini bathing suit, created by Louis Reard, made 
 its debut during a fashion show at the Molitor Pool in 
 Paris. Micheline Bernardini wore the two-piece outfit.

1950 U.S. forces engaged the North Koreans for the first 
 time at Osan, South Korea.

1951 Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented 
 the junction transistor.

1962 Algeria became independent after 132 years of French
rule.

1989 Former U.S. National Security Council aide Oliver
North received a $150,000 fine and a suspended prison term
for his  part in the Iran-Contra affair. The convictions
were later overturned.

1998 Japan joined U.S. and Russia in space exploration with
 the launching of the Planet-B probe to Mars.

2000 Jordanian security agents shot and killed a Syrian 
 hijacker after he threw a grenade that exploded and
wounded 15 passengers aboard a Royal Jordanian airliner.

2016  smiled.


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Is Incredimail still spying? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, July 4
If you are in the US, happy Independence Day!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Independence Day Sale
$60 off!!
8 days only.
$60 off at <a href=http://webby.com/mac.html" align=left/>
With this coupon only!
Save $60 if you order it during those 8 days!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Todays Bonehead Award: Florida woman beats the crap out of her boyfriend who wanted to go back to his wife. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 4, in 1776 The amended Declaration of Independence, prepared by Thomas Jefferson, was approved and signed by John Hancock, the President of the Continental Congress in America. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive. --- John Sladek ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One time while driving through Alabama, I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew was as black as asphalt and just about as thick. "How old is the coffee you have here?" I asked the woman who was reading a magazine behind the store counter. She shrugged. "I don't know. I've only been working here two weeks."
Independence Day Sale
$60 off!!
8 days only.
$60 off at <a href=http://webby.com/mac.html" align=left/>
With this coupon only!
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While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store. On slow nights my co-worker Susan would often sing along with the radio while we did paperwork or restocked merchandise. One evening as the manager was leaving, I expressed my concern to him about our safety, being two women working alone at night. "Oh, you'll be fine," he said, waving of his hand. "If you see anybody who looks suspicious, just warn him that Susan knows karaoke." ______________________________________________________ A salesman was trying to talk a farmer into buying a bicycle, but was meeting with considerable sales resistance. "Shucks, I'd sooner spend my money on a cow," said the farmer. "Ah," replied the salesman, "but think how silly you'd look riding around on a cow." "Humph!" retorted the farmer. "Not near as silly as youI'd look trying to milk a bicycle!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Florida woman beats the crap out of her boyfriend who wanted to go back to his wife. Charlotte Pollock, 37, West Palm Beach, Florida A West Palm Beach woman was arrested Thursday afternoon after being accused of beating the man she was having an affair with, according to Delray Beach Police. Why was she so mad? Apparently, he wanted to get back with his wife. Woman charged with beating lover: ‘You love that (Rolex) more than me’ photo Charlotte Pollock is facing charges of aggravated battery, grand theft and trespassing. Charlotte Pollock, 37, of West Palm Beach, is facing charges of aggravated battery, larceny and trespassing. Pollock, who is married, was allegedly having an affair with a 54-year-0ld married man with whom she worked with. Sometime in mid-June, the man was at his Delray Beach home when he told Pollock he wanted to get back together with his wife, which angered Pollock. According to a Delray Beach Police arrest report, she first struck him over the head with a glass pane from a coffee table, then struck him again with a glass pane as he retreated to his bedroom. Pollock then trashed his bedroom, shoved him on the bed and tried to shove his prescription medication into his mouth and ears while jamming her fingers into his eyes, according to the report. Pollock then picked up a lamp and struck him in the back and shoulder. When the man tried to call police, Pollock allegedly ripped a gold and white Rolex watch off his wrist and said: “You love that [expletive] watch more than me.” She then left the man’s house. After police asked her to come to the station and tell her side of the story, Pollock didn’t show. She did, however, return the watch to the man, dropping it off on the front seat of his car. Pollock was released from the Palm Beach County Jail on Thursday after posting $5,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sandra RE: Incredimail spying Dear Webby, Some of our clients use that "Incredimail" spyware with that silly gullibility reporter ( that little orange envelope icon ). If I have to forward their mail to another department, quite often it causes the mail to stick and not go out as it should. What causes that and what do you recommend to get around that nuisance ? Sandra Dear Sandra The cause for that problem is probably that gullibility reporter trying to report on you and/or the original sender of that mail. If you just go on-line to retrieve the incoming mail from the Internet, but then go off-line while you forward mail to different departments on your internal office network, then that tattle-tale can not snitch on you to Incredimail, but keeps on trying. The same of course also happens whenever the Incredimail server is too busy to accept the report about you. When you forward that type of mail, they hide that orange envelope in a tiny, almost invisible dot near the bottom. Just locate that tiny dot and delete it. After that, the mail will go out instantly. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious woman. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today," she said. "Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked. "No, not really," the caller answered, "Just a bit at the roots, but other than that I am a redhead this week." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Buy Fireworks After the Holiday Last year I went after the 4th when they were having the buy 1 get 2 free sales (yep I typed that right) and stocked up for this year. We already have a bag full of fireworks waiting for us to light up this year! Of course you need to store them in a safe, fireproof place. The BBQ is NOT a good place to store them! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Giving a man his physical, a doctor noticed several dark, ugly bruises on his shins, so he asked, "Do you play hockey, soccer, or any physical sport?" "Not at all. I just play bridge with my wife." ___________________________________________________
Reading of the Declaration of Independence
____________________________________________________ "Hello?" A girl's voice came over the line. "Can I speak to Ben, please?" I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I was fed up with wrong number calls. There always eem to be more during times of full moon. "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?" "Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded. "I think he said he'd be home around 10:00." Silence on the other end...a confused silence. "Is this Steve?" My name isn't Steve, either. This was definitely a wrong number. "Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?" "Well...he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him..." she said in a slightly irritated voice. I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at 10:00." A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!" "The girl he went out with." "I know that! I mean...who is she?" "I don't know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben?" "Yes...please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home." She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I could hear her temper flaring. "I sure will. Is this Jennifer?" She exploded this time. "Who's Jennifer?" Apparently she wasn't. "Well...he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry...it was an honest mistake." "Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and the she's Very Upset and that I would Like Him to Call Me as Soon As He Gets Home." I smiled and said, "Okay, I will...but Becky isn't going to like this..." " Click " ____________________________________________________ A guide is showing a Texan the Niagara Falls. "I'll bet you don't have anything like that in Texas!" "Nope, I reckon we don't," said the Texan. "But we've got plumbers who could fix it." ____________________________________________________
What a beautiful ship!

Today on July 4
1776 The amended Declaration of Independence, prepared by 
 Thomas Jefferson, was approved and signed by John Hancock,
 the President of the Continental Congress in America.
1803 The Louisiana Purchase was announced in newspapers.
The property was purchased, by the U.S. from France, was
for $15 million (or 3 cents an acre). The "Corps of
Discovery," led by Meriwether Lewis and William Clark,
began the exploration of the territory on May 14, 1804.
1817 Construction began on the Erie Canal, to connect Lake
Erie and the Hudson River.
1845 American writer Henry David Thoreau began his two-year
 experiment in simple living at Walden Pond, near Concord,
MA.
1884 Bullfighting was introduced in the U.S. in Dodge City,
KS.
1886 The first rodeo in America was held at Prescott, AZ.
1894 After seizing power, Judge Stanford B. Dole declared 
 Hawaii a republic.
1901 William H. Taft became the American governor of the 
 Philippines.
1910 Race riots broke out all over the United States after 
 African-American Jack Johnson knocked out Jim Jeffries in
a heavyweight boxing match.
1934 Boxer Joe Louis won his first professional fight.
1934 At Mount Rushmore, George Washington's face was
dedicated.
1946 The Philippines achieved full independence for the
first time in over four hundred years.
1960 The 50-star U.S. flag made its debut in Philadelphia,
PA.
1966 U.S. President Johnson signed the Freedom of
Information Act, which went into effect the following year.
1987 Klaus Barbie, the former Gestapo chief known as the 
 "Butcher of Lyon," was convicted by a French court of
crimes against humanity and sentenced to life in prison.
1997 The Mars Pathfinder, an unmanned spacecraft, landed on
Mars. A rover named Sojourner was deployed to gather data
about the surface of the planet.
1997 Ferry service between Manhattan and Staten Island was 
 made free of charge.
2009 North Korea launched seven ballistic missiles into
waters off its east coast that defied U.N. resolutions.
2009 The Statue of Liberty's crown reopened to visitors. 
 It had been closed to the public since 2001.
2016  smiled.


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Electromagnetic pollution 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, July 3

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Todays Bonehead Award: Arizona TV reporters charged after cocaine found in baby's system Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 3, in 1903 The first cable across the Pacific Ocean was spliced between Honolulu, Midway, Guam and Manila. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Study as if you were going to live forever; live as if you were going to die tomorrow. --- Maria Mitchell ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One of our patients wasn't taking any chances. Prior to her operation, she taped notes to her body for the surgeon... "Take your time," "Don't cut yourself," "No need to rush," "Wash your hands..." After surgery, as I helped the patient back into her bed, we discovered a new note taped to her, this one from the doctor, "Has anyone seen my wristwatch?"
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I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one of our employees. After reviewing the different plans and monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000 worth of life insurance. But he had one last question. "Now," he said, "what do I have to do to collect the money?" ______________________________________________________ The man entered the florist shop and ordered a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to his wife. When asked what he wanted on the card, he replied that no card was necessary as she'd know who they came from. Shortly after the flowers were delivered, the florist received a phone call from the wife asking who had sent the flowers. The florist told her that the sender requested no card be included. "Please, I've GOT to know WHO sent these flowers BEFOR0E my husband comes home for lunch!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Arizona TV reporters charged after cocaine found in baby's system Krystin Lisaius, 26, Somchai Lisaius, 42, Oro Valley, Arizona An Oro Valley couple known around Tucson as on-air personalities is facing drug charges after tests revealed there was cocaine in their baby's system. Oro Valley police say 26-year-old Krystin Lisaius and husband Somchai Lisaius were indicted on charges of possession of a dangerous drug, drug paraphernalia and child abuse on June 9. CBS affiliate KOLD reports that authorities said they found less than 2 grams of "white powder or white residue" and other paraphernalia at the couple's home. They made their first appearance in court on Monday. Both were TV reporters in Tucson. Krystin Lisaius worked at KGUN-TV while 42-year-old Somchai Lisaius was a reporter for Tucson News Now. It appears they suddenly don't work at those stations anymore. Riley said the baby was taken to the hospital on May 15 after being breast-fed and appearing to be in distress. Test revealed cocaine in the four-month-old's body. The baby is now living with a relative. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marnia RE: Electromagnetic pollution Dear Webby, How serious are those concerns about "electromagnetic radiation pollution"? My mother-in-law read some stuff about it in some magazine and is all worried about it. Marnia Dear Marnia It doesn't seem to affect everybody the same way. Most people never notice it, but extraordinarily gullible persons may think that something is affecting them and with some coaching from fanatics may indeed worry themselves an ulcer or whatever is fashionable in their circles. I have worked for years in extremely high electromagnetic environments like an aluminum smelter, major electric power plants, and large welding shops, and I have outlived a lot of doctors that I have known. While doctors usually die from cancer, heart disease or mysterious ailments, the people in those high electromagnetic environments seem to die mostly of traffic accidents or old age. However, once somebody believes in the danger of electromagnetic radiation pollution, you can't reason with them, and trying to use logic on them just makes them hostile. Just humor them and play along. Usually those people are so clueless that putting plastic childproofers onto electrical outlets "to stop the electric radiation from leaking out" will make them feel better. In the mid 90's at the peak of the electromagnetic radiation scare period, I sold a good number of protective monitor screens. They were just black metal mesh mosquito screens made up for me by the local window glazing company. I added a ground wire to them and a little alligator clip. Those screens reduced the glare and reflection off the monitor,and thereby reduced eye strain and headaches, but the people who bought them swore their headaches went away because they shielded them from electro- magnetic radiation. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ After a two-week criminal trial in a very high profile bank robbery case, the judge turns to the jury foreman and asks, "Has the jury reached a verdict in this case?" "Yes, we have, your honor," the foreman responded. "Would you please pass it to me," the judge declared, as he motioned for the bailiff to retrieve the verdict slip from the foreman and deliver it to him. After the judge reads the verdict himself, he delivers the verdict slip back to his bailiff to be returned to the foreman and instructs the foreman, "Please read your verdict to the court." "We find the defendant Not Guilty of all four counts of bank robbery," stated the foreman. The family and friends of the defendant jump for joy at the verdict and hug each other as they shout expressions of divine gratitude. The man's attorney turns to his client and asks, "So, what do you think about that?" The defendant, with a bewildered look on his face turns to his attorney and says, "I'm real confused here. Does this mean that I have to give all the bank money back?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Magnet to Hold Brush to Paint Can When you're painting and you need to put your brush down it can be messy, not to mention losing it. Just use a hot glue gun and attach a magnet on to your brush handle. Then when you need to set down your brush it will stay right on your paint can. By coville123 Most paint cans have a groove designed to trap paint and splatter it all over, when you tap the lid in place. Pros take two two inch spiral nails, and hammer two holes each on opposite sides, and leave the nails in one hole each per side. Then we run a rubber band across the paint can berween opposite nails. Now you can lean the brush with the handle on a clean rim and the bristles on the rubber band, dripping into the can. Any paint, that gets onto the rim, drips down through the unoccupied holes, and there won't be any splattering, when you remove the nails and slam the lid. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Ever mindful of the congregation, the Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog, and knew that the dog also had to be a Baptist. They visited kennel after kennel and explained their needs. Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he had just the dog they wanted. The owner brought the dog to meet the pastor and his wife. "Fetch the Bible,"he commanded. The dog bounded to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought it to the owner. "Now find Psalm 23," he commanded. The dog dropped the Bible to the floor, and showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed through and finding the correct passage, pointed to it with his paw. The pastor and his wife were very impressed and purchased the dog. That evening, a group of church members came to visit. The pastor and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate several Bible verses. The visitors were very impressed. One man asked, "Can he do regular dog tricks, too?" "I haven't tried yet" the pastor replied. He pointed his finger at the dog."HEEL!" the pastor commanded. The dog immediately jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's forehead and began to howl. The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said, "Oh!! NO!! He's Pentecostal!" ___________________________________________________
kitten climbs into cage with puppy
____________________________________________________ Little Mary was attending a wedding for the first time. As she sat in the church, she watched the bride slowly approach the altar. Mary whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. The child thought about this for a moment, then said... "So why is the groom wearing black?" ____________________________________________________ A guy wanted to get in the temple on Yom Kippur, but without a ticket they would not let him in. He said, "Look, I just want to give a message to a friend in there." The guy at the door says, "Sorry, you got to have a ticket." The first guy replies, "Just let me in for one minute, then I'll be right out." "Alright," says the guy at the door, "but I better not catch you praying." ____________________________________________________
Glass wave sculptures. Some people have such vivid imaginations.

Today on July 3
1608 The city of Quebec was founded by Samuel de Champlain.
1775 U.S. Gen. George Washington took command of the 
 Continental Army at Cambridge, MA.
1878 John Wise flew the first US dirigible in Lancaster,
PA.
1898 During the Spanish American War, a fleet of Spanish 
 ships in Cuba's Santiago Harbor attempted to run a
blockade  of U.S. naval forces. Nearly all of the Spanish
ships were  destroyed in the battle that followed.
1903 The first cable across the Pacific Ocean was spliced 
 between Honolulu, Midway, Guam and Manila.
1944 The U.S. First Army opened a general offensive to
break out of the hedgerow area of Normandy, France.
1944 During World War II, Soviet forces recaptured Minsk.
1950 U.S. carrier-based planes attacked airfields in the 
 Pyongyang-Chinnampo area of North Korea in the first 
 air-strike of the Korean War.
1954 Food rationing ended in Great Britain almost nine
years after the end of World War II.
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush formally inaugurated
the Mount Rushmore National Memorial in South Dakota. 
2016  smiled.


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Ezinefinder voting not working 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, July 2

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Independence Day Sale
$60 off!!
8 days only.
$60 off at <a href=http://webby.com/mac.html" align=left/>
With this coupon only!
Save $60 if you order it during those 8 days!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Todays Bonehead Award: Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 2, in 1857 New York City’s first elevated railroad officially opened for business. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away. --- Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661) "A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free." -- Nikos Kazantzakis (1885-1957) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Johnny for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Johnny answered, "A lawyer!
Independence Day Sale
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When Jill decided to improve her computer skills, she threw herself into it with enthusiasm. Every week she'd check out two or three instructional books from the library. After about a month the librarian commented, "Wow! You must really be getting knowledgeable at this stuff." "Thanks," Jill said. "What makes you say that?" The librarian answered, "Only one of the books you're checking out this week has 'For Dummies' in the title." ______________________________________________________ My cousin took a part time job as an opinion poll sampler, calling people for their views on various issues. On her very first call, she introduced myself, "Hello, this is a telephone poll." A man replied, "Yeah, and this is a street light! Did my dog leave some pee-mail on you ?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Man Ubers across Florida for sex with minor Michael Hoyman, 23, Port St Lucie, Florida A Florida man Ubered his way across the state, at a one-way fare of $248, to have sex with a minor, according to law enforcement here. However, it wasn't a child waiting behind this home's doors. Instead, a multi-agency team swarmed 23-year-old Michael Hoyman and arrested the Port St. Lucie man, charging him with obscene communication for traveling to meet a child after using a computer to lure that child, as well as cruelty toward a child for transmitting harmful information. Hoyman's arrest was one of 22 so far in a sex sting dubbed "Operation Cyber Guardian," which mirrors previous online operations in which undercover officers pose as teens or pre-teens and arrange to meet adults for sex. Two of the men arrested in this sting were registered sex offenders, and one was a registered sexual predator. At 150 miles, Hoyman's Uber ride across the Sunshine State was the farthest trek in this operation; six men were from Cape Coral. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank RE: Ezinefinder problem Dear Webby, Webby, Just a follow up on items. I did not cancel existing subscription. I just clicked on link for the Total Protection package and lo and behold I was only charged the $29.99 plus tax for total of $32.46. I figured it was worth a try and could always cancel if it did not work. McAfee confirmed the order and price. Secondly, I did not again receive your letter this morning (7/1) so I went to site and read it. For the forth day something is strange when I vote and get an odd response that does not let me click to confirm vote. There is a button to un-subscribe...almost a complete blank page from enzine. So if your votes have decreased this is perhaps the reason. I contacted Cox.net about the web mail and explained and after spending almost an hour finally got a tech in Omaha that walked me through how to hopefully correct the problem. She said that many times when people get tired of mail they do NOT un-subscribe, they only mark mail as SPAM. Hence this makes situation worse with ISP's. I am NOT saying this is the case with humor@webby.com but a 'blanket' statement. We'll see what happens going forward but I have a good feeling that the problem is now cured. Dear Frank Re McAfee: Make sure you don't have Auto-Renew on the old subscription! Otherwise you will end up with two. Yes, the Ezinefinder has serious problems again. Less than half the votes are counted, except for the ones for Daily Thrifty Fun. That is their own newsletter and the votes for that seem to be counted manually or hardwired into the program. It appears that none of the votes, that require email confirmation, are counted. Of the votes cast after logging in and selecting your favorites and then voting on those, not all, but most seem to be counted. You can write to support@cumuli.com and support@ezinefinder.com. They don't answer me. They also have a contact form. Maybe they will answer you. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Johnny asked his father to explain the differences between irritation, aggravation, and frustration. His father picked up the phone and dialed a number at random. When the phone was answered, he asked, "Can I speak to Bill, please?" "No! There's no one called Bill here," the person who answered the phone replied. His father hung up. "That's irritation," he said. He picked up the phone again, dialled the same number, and asked for Bill a second time. "No, there's no one here called Bill. Go away. If you call again I'll call the cops," the person replied. His father hung up and said, "That's aggravation." "Then what's frustration?" asked Johnny. His father picked up the phone and dialled the same number a third time. "Hello, this is Bill. Have there been any messages for me?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning a Wood Cutting Board By hopeful [27 Posts, 135 Comments] 2 found this helpful I use baking soda and/or vinegar to clean my cutting board. Occasionally I oil it with cooking oil. I have used the same hand made wooden cutting board for over 40 years, and it is still in good condition. By Karenhope from Salem, OR ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car. She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened. The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door." The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this." So she bowed her head and asked God to send her some help. Within five minutes an old rusty car pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head. The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful. The man got out of his car and asked her if he could help. She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?" He said, "Sure". He walked over to the car, and in half a minute the car was opened. She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank You So Much! You are a very nice man." The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison a week ago. I was in prison for car theft. Yesterday I blew my probation by getting drunk and now I have to go back in for another two months." The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, Thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!" ___________________________________________________
Bandaloop - kinda awesome!
____________________________________________________ One criminal who was accused of several murders and robbery was sentenced to death by the judge of the court. It was decided that the criminal will be shot by a firing squad on a particular day. On that very day, the weather was very foul. It rained cats and dogs. There was not sufficient light to see anything clearly. But duty is duty so the captain of the squad along with his five soldiers took the criminal and started walking to the spot. On the way the criminal told the Captain, "See,what a weather! I am not afraid of death, but this day is not suitable for dying. What do you think?" "Truly, the weather is very foul", the Captain replied, "But you are fortunate as you are only going one way, just think how soaked we are going to get! We have to walk all the way back!" ____________________________________________________ A southern woman was rushing to get ready for church. She ran frantically throughout her house, tore through her closet, threw her clothes over her head and ran out the door to her car. When she arrived at the church, she saw a man coming towards her. "Tell - me," she panted in her southern drawl, "is - m - ass out?" "Nope," the man replied, but yer hat's on crooked." ____________________________________________________
Brilliant inventions which will change your life.

Today on July 2
1298 An army under Albert of Austria defeated and killed 
 Adolf of Nassua near Worms, Germany.
1625 The Spanish army took Breda, Spain, after nearly a 
 year of siege.
1644 Lord Cromwell crushed the Royalists at the Battle of 
 Marston Moor near York, England.
1776 Richard Henry Lee’s resolution that the American
colonies "are, and of right ought to be, free and
independent States"  was adopted by the Continental
Congress.
1850 B.J. Lane patented the gas mask.
1857 New York City’s first elevated railroad officially
opened for business.
1858 Czar Alexander II freed the serfs working on 
 imperial lands.
1937 American aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart disappeared
in the Central Pacific during an attempt to fly around the 
world at the equator.
1944 American bombers, as part of Operation Gardening,
dropped land mines, leaflets and bombs on German-occupied
Budapest.
1947 An object crashed near Roswell, NM. The U.S. Army Air
Force insisted it was a weather balloon, but eyewitness
accounts led to speculation that it might have been an
alien spacecraft.
1967 The U.S. Marine Corps launched Operation Buffalo in 
 response to the North Vietnamese Army's efforts to seize 
 the Marine base at Con Thien.
1976 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled the death penalty was not
 inherently cruel or unusual.
1976 North Vietnam and South Vietnam were reunited.
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter reinstated draft
registration for males 18 years of age.
1981 Soyuz T-6 returned to Earth.
1985 General Motors announced that it was installing
electronic road maps as an option in some of its higher-
priced cars.
1995 "Forbes" magazine reported that Microsoft's chairman, 
 Bill Gates, was worth $12.9 billion, making him the
world's richest man. In 1999, he was worth about $77
billion.
1998 Cable News Network (CNN) retracted a story that
alleged that U.S. commandos had used nerve gas to kill
American defectors during the Vietnam War.
2016  smiled.


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McAfee Coupon 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, July 1
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you, Sig!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Independence Day Sale
$60 off!!
8 days only.
$60 off at <a href=http://webby.com/mac.html" align=left/>
With this coupon only!
Save $60 if you order it during those 8 days!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Florida home invader got tenderized with his own baseball bat Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, July 1, in 1050 Hagar the Horrible's Great-Grandfather colonized what is now called Newfoundland, Canada. Rumor has it that all that remains is their drinking habits, pieces of ships, some bones and weapons. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others. ---Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair. --- George Burns ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ When the family car developed a slight knock, Leroy asked his Betty-Sue she had bought prmium or regular gas, but she couldn't remember. "You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That could account for the engine running so rough." "No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly. "Well, how much did it cost?" asked the husband probingly. "It cost the same as always." said the wife. "I told the man to put in the usual ten dollars worth."
Independence Day Sale
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Flo for this one: The company I work for offers tours through the historic district of Annapolis, Maryland, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing. While leading a group, Felix, one of our guides, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist. He went to the hospital, and as he sat waiting in the emergency room, a policeman walked by. Doing a double take at Felix in his 18th-century garb, he asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?" ______________________________________________________ A bishop discovered a tribe of Indians in the Amazon who had never recorded a baptism, confirmation or marriage. The bishop soon rectified the situation by baptizing everyone. He also married every beaming couple that walked by. Later, the tribal chief told the Bishop the tribe had never had so much fun. The bishop asked the chief which part they enjoyed the most. "The marriage service," the chief said, smiling. "We all got new wives!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Florida home invader got tenderized with his own baseball bat Noah Jess Dassat, 33, of Santa Cruz, California A Florida burglar's plan to break into a Sarasota County home ended with the crook sustaining head injuries at the hand of his own weapon. Noah Jess Dassat, 33, of Santa Cruz, Calif., was arrested and charged on June 23 with four felony charges and one misdemeanor for armed burglary, battery and criminal mischief. According to North Port Police, Dassat broke into the home of a married couple and three children armed with a baseball bat. Once inside the house, officers said Dassat attacked a man inside the home. However, the man placed Dassat in a bear hug, and his wife grabbed the bat and tenderized the intruder. Dassat eventually managed to flee the house but was later apprehended by Charlotte County deputies after using a fake name at a Port Charlotte hospital. He is currently in the Charlotte County Jail and being held without bond. Three cheers for THAT Lady! ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank RE: McAfee coupon for next month? Dear Webby, Question...do you happen to know if the following offers can extend my current subscription? My Total Protection expires in August. Frank Dear Frank Unfortunately, that coupon is just for the announced 8 days. No rain checks. As far as I know, those coupon specials are normally just for new subscribers. You would have to unsub from your current deal, sacrifice a month, and then use the coupon as a newbie the next day. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A preacher said to the farmer, "Do you belong to the Christian family ?" "No", he said, " they live two farms down ". "No,no, I mean are you lost ?" "No, I've been here thirty years." "I mean are you ready for Judgement Day?" "When is it ?" "It could be today or tomorrow ". "Well, when you find out for sure when it is , you let me know. My wife will probably want to go both days !" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cure for Gel Toothpaste Mess By bsteph1956 My husband makes a mess when using gel toothpaste. There always seems to be a big "glob" around the opening after he uses it. I wipe all of the old toothpaste off around the opening and use a Q-tip to apply baby oil around the cap and rim of the tube. It works very well and no more discussions with my otherwise "perfect" husband! ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Three residents at the Funny-Farm are at the doctor's office for their annual intelligence test. The doctor asks the first man, "What is three times three?" "274," he replies. The doctor asks the second man, "What is three times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?" "Easy," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday." ___________________________________________________
Roger Whitaker
____________________________________________________ While digging a shaft into the German homeland, German scientists discovered small pieces of copper at 50 meters. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network. Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. The British ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. At a depth of 100 meters, they discovered small pieces of glass. Soon the British announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fiber net. Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100, and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing. The Israelis concluded that the ancient Hebrews 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones. ____________________________________________________ A man owned a small farm in South Georgia. The Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to interview him. "You just give me a list of your employees and tell me how much you pay them." "All right," said the farmer. "I have a hired man. Been with me for three years. I pay him $600 a week, plus room and board. I have a cook. She's been here six months. She gets $500 a week plus room and board." "Anybody else?" asked the agent as he scribbled on a note pad. "Yeah," the farmer said. "There's a half-wit here. Works about eighteen hours a day. I pay him ten dollars a week and give him tobacco." "A ha!" the agent roared. "I want to talk to that half- wit!" "You ARE talkin' to him," said the farmer. ____________________________________________________
A real underground kingdom.

Today on July 1
0096 Vespasian, a Roman Army leader, was hailed as a 
 Roman Emperor by the Egyptian legions.
1050 Hagar the Horrible's Great-Grandfather colonized what
is now called Newfoundland, Canada. 
1543 England and Scotland signed the peace of Greenwich.
1596 An English fleet under the Earl of Essex, Lord Howard 
 of Effingham and Francis Vere captured and sacked 
 Cadiz, Spain.
1798 Napoleon Bonaparte took Alexandria, Egypt.
1847 The U.S. Post Office issued its first adhesive stamps.
1867 Canada became an independent dominion.
1876 Montenegro declared war on the Turks.
1893 The first bicycle race track in America to be made 
 out of wood was opened in San Francisco, CA.
1898 During the Spanish-American War, Theodore Roosevelt 
 and his "Rough Riders" waged a victorious assault on 
 San Juan Hill in Cuba.
1909 Thomas Edison began commercially manufacturing his 
 new "A" type alkaline storage batteries.
1916 The massive Allied offensive known as the Battle of
the Somme began in France. The battle was the first to use
tanks.
1940 In Washington, the Tacoma Narrows Bridge was opened 
 to traffic. The bridge collapsed during a wind storm on 
 November 7, 1940.
1942 German troops captured Sevestpol, Crimea, in the 
 Soviet Union.
1943 The U.S. Government began automatically withholding 
 federal income tax from paychecks.
1946 The U.S. exploded a 20-kiloton atomic bomb near 
 Bikini Atoll in the Pacific Ocean.
1950 American ground troops arrived in South Korea to stem 
 the tide of the advancing North Korean army.
1961 British troops landed in Kuwait to aid against Iraqi
threats.
1968 The Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty was signed by 60
countries. 
1969 Britain's Prince Charles was invested as the Prince of
Wales.
1974 Isavel Peron became the president of Argentina upon
the death of her husband, Juan.
1979 Sony introduced the Walkman.
1980 "O Canada" was proclaimed the national anthem of
Canada.
1991 The Warsaw Pact dissolved.
1994 Yasser Arafat of the Palestinian Liberation
Organization visited the Gaza Strip.
1997 The sovereignty over Hong Kong was transferred from 
 Great Britain to China. Britain had controlled Hong Kong 
 as a colony for 156 years.
2003 In Hong Kong, thousands of protesters marched to show 
 their opposition to anti-subversion legislation.
2016  smiled.


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Fuzzy zoom pictures 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, June 30

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Independence Day Sale
$60 off!!
8 days only.
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With this coupon only!
Save $60 if you order it during those 8 days!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: NY businessman demanded kosher meals after mile-high hooker romp to bribe cops Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 30, in More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy. --- Woody Allen Was he talking about Al Gore, or WhatsHisName? It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) Only drug dealers and software companies call their customers 'users.' --- Socratex. _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Barbie, a waitress, decided to put her matchmaking skills to the test with our mutual friend Mike. She figured that Sandy, another friend who seemed to have much in common with Mike, would be an ideal date. One day Mike came into the restaurant when Sandy was also there. Barbie dragged Mike over to Sandy's table and introduced the two. Then she watched as Mike put his arm around the young woman and said in his best mock-seductive voice, "Helloooou, Sandy," whereupon Sandy broke up in roaring laughter. "You guys know each other?" Barbie asked. "We sure do," said Mike. "She's my sister."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get $60 off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
>From Hilla I have CDO. It's like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, only in alphabetical order, like it should be. ______________________________________________________ At most universities some students operate a "bank" of term papers and other assignments. Nowadays you just buy a photocopy, but when I went to University you rented a hand typed copy for $5, and got $4 back if the number of smudges and beer stains had not increased noticeably. If it didn't come back or looked too badly abused, the $4 went to whoever typed up a fresh copy from the original. Officially the renter was just supposed to use the rented papers "for inspiration and as an example". Yeah, right. A similar system is in operation at the unnamed New England university where this story happened: There were papers to suit all needs and as it would look odd if an undistinguished student suddenly handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for an A grade, B grade and C grade. A student who had spent the weekend on pursuits other than his assignment, went to the "bank" and as his course was a standard one he took out a paper for an inconspicious C, retyped it and handed the work in. In due course he received it back with the professor's comments "I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always thought it should have had an A, and now I am glad to give it one!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by NY businessman demanded kosher meals after mile-high hooker romp to bribe cops They went from porking to kosher. The Orthodox Jewish businessman who allegedly ordered up a wild, sex-fueled plane ride to Las Vegas as a bribe for NYPD favors demanded rabbi-certified food for the return trip, The Post has learned. Real-estate investor Jona Rechnitz — who shelled out $59,000 for the round-trip travel — requested kosher deli sandwiches and a fruit platter for the group’s flight to Teterboro, NJ. But airline manifests show the same six passengers got “standard stock” meals for the outbound flight, where call girl Gabi Grecko said she had group sex with the men, including now-disgraced Deputy Inspector James Grant. Click through for her Instagram page E-mails obtained by The Post also show Rechnitz, who sources have said is cooperating with the feds in a bid for leniency, griped about having to pay the government its share for the shady getaway. “Tax is 2k each way???” he wrote on Jan. 31, 2013, two days before the trip to Sin City. “Tax is 7.5 %,” replied Keli McCabe-LaCrete of the Apollo Jets charter company. The Post revealed the details of the cross-country trip on Friday after speaking exclusively with Grecko, who is identified in court papers as “Prostitute-1.” Grecko has said Rechnitz’s pal, Jeremy Reichberg, directed the kinky action on the plane. “He’d call me a dirty slut while smacking my a--,” she recalled. She also said she was paid a paltry $1,500 for the trip, because the men placed a big bet on the San Francisco 49ers, who lost Super Bowl XLVII to the Baltimore Ravens, 34-31. She spoke briefly to reporters before a Friday meeting with her lawyer, saying her role in the alleged gifts-for-favors scheme was “very embarrassing.” “It was a dark time in my life. I had to support myself, and I had no other way to pay rent,” she said. “It’s not something I’m proud of, and I definitely don’t want it to define me or my career.” “I am a designer and a reality-TV star, etc.,” she added. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ina RE: Fuzzy zoom pictures Dear Webby, I got a good digital camera that takes excellent pictures unless I use the zoom. Then things get fuzzy. Since it's the same lens, what's the problem? Ina Dear Ina Most likely your hand is not quite as steady as you think it is. Use a sturdy tripod for zoom shots. Don't waste your money on cheap, lightweight tripods unless you have a wireless remote control for the camera. For professional quality pictures get a wooden surveyor's tripod. Not metal, real wood! Second best is fiberglass. Wood dampens vibrations from wind or the ground. Never set a tripod onto a hard road. It amplifies the tiny vibrations from the road. If you have one of those aluminum tripods that fold up really small, throw it away but keep the soft leather case. Fill the case with ice tea powder in a zip-lock plastic bag. That way you can use the case like a lead-bag and rest the camera on it. It works surprisingly well, and when you get thirsty waiting for the perfect lighting, you can make some ice tea. For really windy locations use a proper lead-bag. For that, find a really old soft leather purse with thick lining at some garage sale. Then go to a sporting goods store where they sell shotgun ammo reloading supplies and get two pounds of fine bird-shot. Fill that into the purse and glue it shut. You can then nestle the camera on the purse and you will get full zoom long distance evening shots as clear as bright daylight close-ups. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Trisha is five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After she had a minor accident, her sister accompanied her to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for her height and weight, and she blurted out, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds." While the nurse pondered over this information, her sister leaned over to her. "Trisha," she gently chided, "This is not a chat room !" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Double Delight Chocolate Cake By Benetta [237 Posts, 125 Comments] Turn a gluten free muffin mix into a nice treat for a Sunday afternoon, or make it when you want to entertain your friends. This chocolate cake has a subtle hint of coffee and whiskey, which adds to the rich flavor. Served with an extra dollop of dairy free dessert topping, this cake will make your guests think that you bought it at the local coffee shop. Imagine their surprise when they realize that you were the talented baker! Approximate Time: one hour, excluding time to cool off before decorating Yield: 10-12 slices of yummy cake Turn a gluten free muffin mix into a nice treat for a Sunday afternoon, or make it when you want to entertain your friends. This chocolate cake has a subtle hint of coffee and whiskey, which adds to the rich flavor. Served with an extra dollop of dairy free dessert topping, this cake will make your guests think that you bought it at the local coffee shop. Imagine their surprise when they realize that you were the talented baker! Approximate Time: one hour, excluding time to cool off before decorating Yield: 10-12 slices of yummy cakeDouble Delight Chocolate Cake Ingredients: 375 g Organic gluten free chocolate muffin mix 125 ml milk cooking oil 60 ml Scotch whiskey 30 ml instant coffee powder, dissolved in 10 ml hot water 5 ml eggs 2 non-stick cooking spray To decorate: 250 ml dairy free dessert topping, grated dark chocolate and small chocolate balls Steps: Preheat the oven to 350º F. Add all the ingredients to a bowl. Use a wooden spoon to mix well together. Lightly grease a 9" bread loaf pan with non-stick cooking spray. Spoon the mixture into the pan. Bake for 40 minutes, or until a test skewer comes out clean when inserted into the middle. Allow to cool off completely before decorating. Use an electric whisk to whip the dessert topping until it forms stiff peaks and holds its shape well. Use a piping bag to pipe small cream rosettes on the cake. Add the chocolate balls to the top of the cream rosettes. Sprinkle a thick layer of grated chocolate on top. Serve with a dollop of dessert topping and strong filter coffee. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A four year old boy ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, "Marian, Marian!" Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, "You shouldn't call me 'Marian.' I'm your mom, you know." "I know," said the child, "but this store is full of moms, and I didn't want to have 5 gazillion moms running after me, telling me that they are not my mom." ___________________________________________________
Roger Whitaker
____________________________________________________ My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like. The minister asked my Mom, "Do you take this man to be your husband ?" And she said, "I do." Then the minister asked my Dad, "Do you take this woman to be your wife ?" and my Mom said, "He better!" ____________________________________________________ Two doctors and an HMO manager are killed in a train wreck and line up at the Pearly Gates for admission to heaven. Saint Peter asks them to identify themselves. One doctor steps forward and says, "I was a pediatric spine surgeon. I helped hundreds of kids overcome their deformities." Saint Peter says, "Enter." The other doctor says, "I was a psychiatrist. I helped rehabilitate thousands of people." Saint Peter nods and invites him into heaven. The third applicant steps forward and says, "I was an HMO manager. I helped countless people get cost-effective health care." Saint Peter tells him, "You can come in, too." As the HMO manager walks by, Saint Peter adds, "But you can only stay for 3 days." ____________________________________________________
Our genes are amazing!

Today on June 30
1097 The Crusaders defeated the Turks at Dorylaeum.
1841 The Erie Railroad rolled out its first passenger
train.
1859 Charles Blondin became the first person to cross 
 Niagara Falls on a tightrope.
1894 Korea declared independence from China and asked for 
 Japanese aid.
1908 An explosion in Siberia, which knocked down trees in a
 40-mile radius and struck people unconscious some 40 miles
 away. It was believed by some scientists to be caused by 
 a fragment from a meteorite, which has since been found.
1913 Fighting broke out between Bulgaria and Greece and 
 Spain. It was the beginning of the Second Balkan War.
1915 During World War I, the Second Battle Artois ended
when the French failed to take Vimy Ridge.
1922 Irish rebels in London assassinate Sir Henry Wilson, 
 the British deputy for Northern Ireland.
1930 France pulled its troops out of Germany’s Rhineland.
1934 Adolf Hitler purged the Nazi Party by destroying the
SA and bringing to power the SS in the "Night of the Long
Knives."
1936 Margaret Mitchell’s book, "Gone with the Wind," was 
 published in New York City.
1950 U.S. President Harry Truman ordered U.S. troops into 
 Korea and authorizes the draft.
1953 The first Corvette rolled off the Chevrolet assembly 
 line in Flint, MI. It sold for $3,250.
1955 The U.S. began funding West Germany’s rearmament with 
 US made weaponry.
1958 The U.S. Congress passed a law authorizing the
admission of Alaska as the 49th state in the Union.
1971 The Soviet spacecraft Soyuz 11 returned to Earth. The 
 three cosmonauts were found dead inside.
1977 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced his opposition 
 to the B-1 bomber.
1986 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that states could
outlaw homosexual acts between consenting adults.
2000 U.S. President Clinton signed the E-Signature bill to 
 give the same legal validity to an electronic signature
as 
 a signature in pen and ink. 
2016  smiled.


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How to get rid of duplicate files 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, June 29

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Independence Day Sale
$60 off!!
8 days only.
$60 off at <a href=http://webby.com/mac.html" align=left/>
With this coupon only!
Save $60 if you order it during those 8 days!

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: California DUI suspect drives with body lodged in car for a mile, then walks away. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 29, in 1880 France annexed Tahiti. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Each success only buys an admission ticket to a more difficult problem. --- Henry Kissinger Where all think alike, no one thinks very much. --- Walter Lippmann _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Andy wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector puts this question to him: "What would you do if you realised that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?" Andy says, "I would switch the points for one of the trains." "What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector. "Then I'd dash down out of the signal box," said Andy, "and I'd use the manual lever over there." "What if that had been struck by lightning?" "Then," Andy continues, "I'd run back into the signal box and phone the next signal box." "What if the phone was engaged?" "Well in that case," persevered Andy, "I'd rush down out of the box and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there." "What if that was vandalised?" "Oh well then I'd run into the village and get my uncle Tony." This puzzles the inspector, so he asks, "Why would you do that?" Came the answer, "Because his wife, my sister, keeps saying his feet smell so bad, the stench could stop a train!"
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get $60 off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaking little voice: "The big sissy." ______________________________________________________ Faced with hard times, the company offered a bonus of one thousand dollars to any employee who could come up with a way of saving money. The bonus went to a young woman in accounting who suggested limiting future bonuses to ten dollars. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by California DUI suspect drives with body lodged in car for a mile, then walks away. Esteysi Sanchez Izazaga, 29, Oceanside, California A pedestrian killed in a hit-and-run flew through the front windshield of the car as the woman behind the wheel kept driving for a mile with the body lodged in the front seat, police said. She eventually parked in a cul-de-sac and walked away, police said. The crash happened in Oceanside, a San Diego County beach town, at 6:20 a.m. Monday. Witnesses reported seeing a man walking on the sidewalk along Mission Avenue when he was hit by a car. Esteysi Sanchez Izazaga, 29, who also goes by Stacy Sanchez, drove her car onto the sidewalk and hit the man at random, according to Oceanside police. Because of her speed, the victim flew into the windshield, head down, coming to a rest on the front passenger seat, police said. The man's leg detached from his body and flew through the back window, landing on the trunk of the car, police said. Izazaga continued driving for about a mile, police said, eventually parking her car in a neighborhood cul-de-sac and walking away. She is suspected of DUI. Witnesses called police, who found Izazaga a few blocks away. She was arrested and will be booked into the Vista Detention Facility. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ron RE: Getting rid of duplicates Dear Webby, I have a question about duplicate files especially music and pictures. I have windows 10 (by the way I love it) but I have had this problem since windows 98. How can get rid of these excess files? The worst is in Windows Media Player. I have even deleted files manually but they just show up again. Any help would be appreciated. Thank I also hope youyr eyes keep making improvements. Ron Dear Ron Use "SearchEverything", that I have mentioned a few times. It is at http://voidtools.com Make a folder for wav, mp3 and mp4, and so on. Then let SearchEverything search all your drives for *.wav When it has found them all, SHIFT-DRAG them to the new wav folder. When it encounters duplicates, Windows will ask you if you want to skip or move and replace. Move and replace. Checkmark "Same for all others." That gets rid of all the duplicates. Then do the same with MP3 and MP4 and whatever you want to deduplicate. There are also lots of deduplicater programs available, some of them cheap. However, if you have the free SearchEverything, you can do the same a lot faster, and without having to learn a new program. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Todd and Jill had just gotten back from the honeymoon, and were having their first fight, and it was a big one. No matter what Todd tried to say or do, Jill refused to compromise, or even listen. He started growing exasperated. After a while, Todd said "When we got married, you promised to love, honor and obey." Jill replied, "I know. I just didn't want to start an argument in front of all those people at the wedding." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com White Vinegar to Remove Calcium Deposits By Litter Gitter [170 Posts, 599 Comments] To remove calcium deposits on a faucet, wrap a cloth or small towel, that is soaked with white vinegar, around the faucet and let it sit for several hours. It will remove most of the calcium deposit. Afterwards, scrub with steel wool or a scrubbing pad to remove any that remains. In this case, I wrapped the vinegar soaked towel around the faucet and poured more vinegar on the towel and let it sit over night. I was surprised at the results when I removed the towel. I didn't have time to do any scrubbing with steel wool, but you can tell the difference just by looking at the photos that the white vinegar removed most of the calcium deposit. I really didn't think it was going to work and I was amazed at the results Litter Gitter ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Dear Lord, So far today, I am doing all right. I have not gossiped, haven't lost my temper, haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. However, you better watch out! In a few minutes I am going to open my eyes and get out of bed. ___________________________________________________
when you're angry and you spot the camera
____________________________________________________ What is the difference between mass and weight? Mass is where Catholics go on Sunday, and weight is where sundaes go on a Catholic. ____________________________________________________ The full moon a few days ago reminded me of this story: I gaze at the brilliant moon. The same one, I think to myself, at which Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate over one's right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human condition. I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come closest to Utopia, and backed away from it, and I show him a copy of the Constitution and the way the courts and the politicians hacked it to pieces. I tell Aristotle that we have found many more than four basic elements and I show him a periodic table. Then I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with wonder. We spend the rest of the night lighting farts. ____________________________________________________
Different places to vacation for a change.

Today on June 29
1236 Ferdinand III of Castile and Leon took Cordoba in
Spain.
1652 Massachusetts declared itself independent
commonwealth.
1767 The British Parliament approved the Townshend Revenue
Acts. The acts imposed import duties on glass, lead, paint,
paper and tea shipped to America.
1860 The first iron-pile lighthouse was completed at
Minot’s Ledge, MA.
1880 France annexed Tahiti.
1888 Professor Frederick Treves performed the first 
 appendectomy in England.
1903 The British government officially protested Belgian 
 atrocities in the Congo.
1905 Russian troops intervened as riots erupted in ports 
 all over the country. Many ships were looted.
1917 The Ukraine proclaimed independence from Russia.
1925 Marvin Pipkin filed for a patent for the frosted 
 electric light bulb.
1926 Fascists in Rome added an hour to the work day in 
 an economic efficiency measure.
1946 British authorities arrested more than 2,700 Jews 
 in Palestine in an attempt to end terrorism.
1950 U.S. President Harry S. Truman authorized a sea
blockade of Korea.
1951 The United States invited the Soviet Union to the
Korean peace talks on a ship in Wonson Harbor.
1955 The Soviet Union sent tanks to Poznan, Poland, to put 
 down anti-Communist demonstrations.
1966 The U.S. bombed fuel storage facilities near the 
 North Vietnamese cities of Hanoi and Haiphong.
1967 Israel removed barricades, re-unifying Jerusalem.
1982 Israel invaded Lebanon.
2007 The Apple iPhone went on sale.
2016  smiled.


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Not getting the newsletter 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, June 28

I got talked into going on an evening hike with the library
Ramblers. Not far, they said, maybe 15 miles. Bring
dinner.

Yeah, 15 miles further than I was in shape for, all up and
down, but mostly up. Nice view from the top, then the same
route back, all down and up. I paid for having been a show-
off in my teens and twenties, and especially for being out
of shape now. 

Almost blew a gasket, but not quite. Made it back to the
car at 9 pm. Stood in the wind for a while before driving
home, made it home just as the sun was setting at 9:25.

I definitely have to get into better shape!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's International Bonehead Award: 4 Houston robbers surrender after getting chased into FBI parking lot. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 28, in 1960 - In Cuba, Fidel Castro confiscated American-owned oil refineries without compensation. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. --- Paul Valery (1871 - 1945) One is tempted to define man as a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) "Karaoke bars combine two of the nation’s greatest evils: people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing."---Tom Dreesen "There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have." --- Don Herold _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After telling the customs agent he had nothing in his bags but clothing, Mark was alarmed when the official decided to open them up and check. In the very first one she opened, cushioned between his socks was a bottle of cognac. "Nothing to declare but clothing, huh?" "Right," Mark extemporized. "That, madam, is my nightcap."
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get $60 off!
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A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day the departing manager tells him, "I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can't solve." Three months down the track there is a major drama, everything goes wrong - the usual stuff - and the manager feels very threatened by it all. He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message inside says "Blame your predecessor!" He does this and gets off the hook. About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize!" This he does, and the company quickly rebounds. Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope. The message inside says "Prepare three envelopes". ______________________________________________________ In a physics lab, which involved light, electricity and magnetism, one requirement of the course was to read the week's experiment before coming to class. At one lab session the instructor wanted to see how many people had actually done so. "What are the two types of light?" he asked. The lab fell quiet until one wise guy raised his hand and said, "Uhhh, Miller and Coors?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by 4 Houston robbers surrender after getting chased into FBI parking lot. The four Houstonians arrested by Dallas police in the short-lived chase are Chrisheena Milburn, 25, Ray Hicks, 21, Brandon Mallet, 29, and Fernando Taylor, 28. If you're going to commit a robbery, it's a good idea to have your escape plan mapped out. Four robbery suspects from Houston found that out the hard way on Tuesday in Dallas when they allegedly stole $20,000 from a Gene's Liquor Store employee at a bank northwest of downtown. As police chased them down from the scene of the crime, the four got chased straight into the FBI's parking lot. The Dallas Morning News reports Dallas police believe the three men and one woman caught are suspects in a series of "bank juggings" around Dallas, in which thieves steal from people who make large withdrawals at local banks. The four Houstonians arrested by Dallas police in the short-lived chase are Chrisheena Milburn, 25, Ray Hicks, 21, Brandon Mallet, 29, and Fernando Taylor, 28. Police were tipped off to the four robbers after seeing them driving around in a white Lexus that had paper dealer tags, according to the Dallas Morning News. Police linked the sport utility vehicle to other robberies around Dallas and were on the lookout for it. Undercover police followed the four to One World Bank at 2449 Walnut Hill Lane, the newspaper reports. That's where they attacked the liquor store employee. Taylor punched the employee while Hicks held him down, according to police records reviewed by the Dallas Morning News. The officer tailing the robbers was joined by other police officers who led the chase. The robbers were allegedly seen throwing items out the windows of the getaway vehicle by police. The chase came to an end when the SUV drove into the FBI's parking lot at 1 Justice Way. The Dallas Morning News reports the four surrendered. A bank bag with $20,000 was found behind an air-conditioning vent in the vehicle. All four were booked into the Dallas County Jail on robbery charges. Mallet, Millburn and Taylor have been released on bail. Hicks remained in jail late Thursday on a $25,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank RE: Not getting Humor letter on Weekends Dear Webby, Thank you for your concern, just so you know, I'm on a lot of peoples list but not for the same reason. Here it is Sunday morning before Church and the Humor letter has not arrived. I once again read it on line and VOTED. Then I remembered last Sunday...when I did get your letter it was actually Saturday the 18th letter. Hence I went to the site and read Sundays. Monday through Friday was fine and the letter was here early in the morning as has been the case for years. As an aside...I do not know how many years I've been on your list but I know it is in excess of a decade. An old friend W.E. Stewart, Sr. signed me up when he was in his 80's and proficient with a computer. He was a WWII Marine veteran who was on Iwo Jima during the battle and the last of his company to decease. He passed last July @ 96 yrs. and I think of him often when I see your letter. Just wanted you to know how you affect people in different ways. God Bless Frank Dear Frank Thanks for the vote! I checked the entire bounce log, which is pretty big on weekends because a lot of office workers use auto- responders to bounce mail on weekends. After downloading the 26 MB bounce log that check is actually very fast with NoteTab. 26 MB of bounces indicate that the newsletter arrived at servers OK. It said your address was not in the bounce log. That means the problem is somewhere inside of cox.net. Can you make a filter so that they don't put the Humor Letter into SPAM or Trash? Since 1994 I use a consistent header: FROM: humor@webby.com SUBJECT: Humor: Originally that was to allow people to filter the Humor Letter into a HUMOR archive or mailbox with Pegasus or Eudora. Nowadays, 22 years later, that still works to keep it from getting put into SPAM, even if I talk about computer related stuff. If you can't make filters at COX.NET, contact their support. Have FUN! DearWebby Webby, Just arrived home and read message. Went to Cox's web mail and low and behold there were Saturdays and Sundays (this week) in the Spam box. I've now marked both of them as not Spam and legitimate. I continually learn something from you every time. Cox's Spam folder did not show last Saturdays mail. Ark City does not have much choice in providers and I'm not an admirer of Cox but that is it here and I don't want to switch to gmail at this time. I'll try to keep an eye on the Cox Spam listing which I did not know they had until today. I do use Mailwasher and Eudora, my Mailwasher filter has you at the top of the list and mark as good. Thanks for your support and understanding Frank _____________________________________________________ A golfer's drive lands on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decides to hit it where it lies. He gives a mighty swing. A cloud of dirt and sand and ants explodes from the end of his club, but the golf ball remains in the same spot. So he lines up and tries another shot. A cloud of dirt and sand and ants goes flying again. The golf ball doesn't even wiggle. Two ants survive. One dazed ant says to the other, "Whoa. What are we going to do?" Says the other ant: "I don't know about you, but I'm going to get on the ball." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pineapple Pound Cake Recipe A married couple in New York's "Little Italy" went to their Priest to discuss birth control, since they already had seven children. The husband inquired if perhaps oral sex would be an acceptable substitute in the eyes of the Church. The Priest explained that it was still considered a perverted act and a sin; totally banned according to their faith. The wife spoke up fuming, "Look Father, you no play-a da game, you no make-a da rules!" ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ After being laid off, Judie papered the town with her resume. Days passed, and she hadn't received a single phone call. She decided to take a closer look at the copies her husband had printed at his real estate office. Judie quickly realized that he hadn't put blank paper into the machine. At the bottom of each copy, written in bold type, was a common real estate disclaimer: "The information contained herein, while deemed to be accurate, is not guaranteed." ----------------------- While that would cause a chuckle to other job seekers, to an employer that says: "This dingbat is not only incompetent, but the crooked bimbo will steal OUR paper to apply for a job elsewhere! NEXT!" ___________________________________________________
girl sees train for first time
____________________________________________________ A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace." The son replied, "Dad, I REALLY don't want to be president by the time I am your age !!!" ____________________________________________________ My dad, an auto mechanic, received a repair order that read: "Check for clunking sound when going around corners." Taking the car out for a test drive, he made a right turn, and a moment later he heard a clunk. He then made a left turn and again heard a clunk. Back at the shop, he opened the car's trunk, and soon discovered the problem. Promptly he returned the repair order to the service manager with this notation: "Removed water melon from trunk". ____________________________________________________
I love animals, they're so awesome.

Today on June 28
1635 - The French colony of Guadeloupe was established in
the Caribbean. 

1675 - Frederick William of Brandenburg crushed the Swedes.


1709 - The Russians defeated the Swedes and Cossacks at the
Battle of Poltava. 

1776 - American Colonists repulsed a British sea attack on
Charleston, SC. 

1778 - Mary "Molly Pitcher" Hays McCauley, wife of an
American artilleryman, carried water to the soldiers during
the Battle of Monmouth and, supposedly, took her husband's
place at his gun after he was overcome with heat. 

1902 - The U.S. Congress passed the Spooner bill, it
authorized a canal to be built across the isthmus of
Panama. 

1914 - Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, the heir to the
Austro-Hungarian throne, was assassinated in Sarajevo along
with his wife, Duchess Sophie. England used that as an
excuse to mix in on the side of the assassin and start WWI.

1919 - The Treaty of Versailles was signed ending World War
I exactly five years after it began. The treaty also
established the League of Nations. 

1939 - Pan American Airways began the first transatlantic
passenger service. 

1942 - German troops launched an offensive to seize Soviet
oil fields in the Caucasus and the city of Stalingrad. 

1945 - U.S. General Douglas MacArthur announced the end of
Japanese resistance in the Philippines. 

1949 - The last U.S. combat troops were called home from
Korea, leaving only 500 advisers. 

1950 - North Korean forces captured Seoul, South Korea. 

1954 - French troops began to pull out of Vietnam’s Tonkin
Province. 

1960 - In Cuba, Fidel Castro confiscated American-owned oil
refineries without compensation. 

1964 - Malcolm X founded the Organization for Afro American
Unity to seek independence for blacks in the Western
Hemisphere. 

1965 - The first commercial satellite began communications
service. It was Early Bird (Intelsat I). 

1967 - Israel formally declared Jerusalem reunified under
its sovereignty following its capture of the Arab sector in
the June 1967 war. 

1971 - The U.S. Supreme Court overturned the draft evasion
conviction of Muhammad Ali. 

1972 - U.S. President Nixon announced that no new draftees
would be sent to Vietnam. 

1976 - The first women entered the U.S. Air Force Academy. 

1978 - The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the medical school at
the University of California at Davis to admit Allan Bakke.
Bakke, a white man, argued he had been a victim of reverse
racial discrimination. 

1996 - The Citadel voted to admit women, ending a 153-year-
old men-only policy at the South Carolina military school. 

1997 - Mike Tyson was disqualified for biting Evander
Holyfield's ear after three rounds of their WBA heavyweight
title fight in Las Vegas, NV. 

1998 - Poland, due to shortage of funds, is allowed to
lease U.S. aircraft to bring military force up to NATO
standards. 

1998 - The Cincinnati Enquirer apologized to Chiquita
banana company and retracted their stories that questioned
company's business practices. They also agreed to pay more
than $10 million to settle legal claims. 

2000 - The U.S. Supreme Court declared that a Nebraska law
that outlawed "partial birth abortions" was
unconstitutional. About 30 U.S. states had similar laws at
the time of the ruling. 

2001 - The U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of
Columbia Circuit set aside an order that would break up
Microsoft for antitrust violations. However, the judges did
agree that the company was in violation of antitrust laws. 

2004 - The U.S. turned over official sovereignty to Iraq's
interim leadership. The event took place two days earlier
than previously announced to thwart insurgents' attempts at
undermining the transfer. 

2004 - The U.S. resumed diplomatic ties with Libya after a
24-year break. 

2004 - The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that enemy combatants
could challenge their detention in U.S. Courts. 

2005 - The final design for the "Freedom Tower" (One World
Trade Center) was formally unveiled. 

2007 - The American bald eagle was removed from the
endangered species list. 

2010 - The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that Americans have
the right to own a gun for self-defense anywhere they live.


2016  smiled.


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Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, June 27

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: Georgia man charged with putting feces in disabled mother's mouth Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 27, in 0363 - The death of Roman Emperor Julian brought an end to the Pagan Revival. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, "Why not?" --- George Bernard Shaw _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A pastor and two of his deacons are out on the river fishing in their rowboat. Twelve o'clock rolls around, and one of the deacons notices a nice spot on the bank to have lunch. He turns to the others and says, "That looks like a nice spot for lunch. What do you say we have lunch over there?" The other deacon agrees, and so does the pastor. The deacon stands up in the boat, steps out onto the river and walks over to the bank. The pastor looks on with amazement, and thinks to himself, if THIS deacon is holy enough to walk on water, surely he can too. The other deacon stands up, picks up the picnic basket, steps out of the boat, and walks over to the bank and sits with the first deacon. Again, to his amazement, the pastor thinks again, if even his second deacon is holy enough to walk on water, then surely he can too. He stands up, gingerly steps out of the boat, and sinks. The first deacon turns to the second and says, "Think we should have told him where the rocks are?"
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Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Brendan had spent a week visiting his family in Kentucky. His sister-in-law and seven-year-old nephew went with him when he returned to the airport. After verifying his seat number with the attendant, Brendan walked back to his relatives and said that he'd have to wait another three hours in the airport. "How come?" his nephew asked. "My plane has been grounded," Brendan explained. "Grounded?!" the little boy said. "I didn't know planes had parents." ______________________________________________________ The preacher was having a heart-to-heart talk with a backslider of his flock, whose drinking of moonshine invariably led to quarreling with his neighbors, and occasional shotgun blasts at some of them. "Can't you see, Ben," intoned the parson, "that not one good thing comes out of this drinking?" "Well, I sort of disagree there," replied the backslider. "It makes me miss the folks I shoot at." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Georgia man charged with putting feces in disabled mother's mouth Quami Dewayne Kelly, 20, Augusta, Georgia A 20-year-old Augusta man is facing charges after he put feces into his disabled mother’s mouth, police said. Quami Dewayne Kelly was booked into the Richmond County jail today on a charge of exploitation of the elderly or disabled. According to an incident report, deputies were called to Kelly’s Melrose Drive home about 7 p.m. Tuesday after his mother’s caretaker found feces in her mouth. The report states that the victim, now 45, was diagnosed with dementia several years ago, is unable to talk and requires constant care. The caretaker, who has worked with the woman for one year, told police she has noticed that recently the woman has had a foul odor to her breath but she could not figure out what was causing it. On Tuesday, the woman was lying on the couch when Kelly leaned down, kissed her goodbye and stuck something into her mouth before leaving home. The caretaker stated she thought it was chocolate until she smelled something foul and discovered the feces in her mouth. She quickly worked to remove it, resulting in getting it on her shirt, which the deputy observed on arrival. The caretaker stated she has expressed concern to Kelly’s father about how Kelly acts around his mother, saying “something has seemed strange for a few months.” Kelly’s father, who was at the residence when the deputy arrived, told police he did not understand why his son would do such a thing. He said his son refused to get a job and wanders the neighborhood day and night. The deputy stated in the incident report that Kelly “acted very uncaring when I advised him of why the police were called.” ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Blu RE: Saving Favorites Dear Webby, How do I copy and paste the Favorites List? I think it was also asked how do I print the Favorites List? I might be wrong. But you did have something in your newsletter about this. I would greatly appreciate it if you could please print again the information that you did have about the Favorites List. Thank you so very much. Blu Dear Blu That's FINE ! Not yelling at you. Just remember the word "fine !" Hold down the ALT key type F (you can let go of the ALT key after that) type I type N type E hit ENTER (FINE !) Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk by again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pineapple Pound Cake Recipe By Jackie H. [169 Posts, 58 Comments] This is my own homemade recipe. It is a very moist fruit filled pound cake. Approximate Time: About 20 minutes to add and mix 45 minutes to bake Yield: 1 large loaf Ingredients: 1 /2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted 1 cup of sugar 1 tsp vanilla 1 tsp almond extract 3 eggs 1 can (20 oz.) crushed pineapple and juice 1/3 cup of vegetable oil 1 1/2 cup flour 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 tsp baking powder 1/2 tsp baking soda Glaze (optional) 1 cup powdered sugar 2 Tbsp milk (I use dairy creamer) 1/2 tsp vanilla Steps: Measure out your flour, baking powder, salt, and baking soda and set aside. In a mixing bowl, put 1 stick of butter in the microwave to melt for 30 seconds. Add 1 cup of sugar. Begin to mix using an electric mixer. Add vanilla, almond extract, and eggs, 1 at a time, mixing until fluffy and smooth. Add pineapple and juice, then the vegetable oil. Mix well. Add flour mixture slowly mixing until all is mixed. Pour into a greased and floured loaf pan. Bake at 350 degrees F for 45 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Let this cool, turn onto a plate and turn again until the top is upright. Pineapple Pound Cake You can glaze this if you like to. I find it rich enough not to. It is so moist and fruit filled. You will find this delicious. :) ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A curious fellow died one day and found himself waiting in a long long line for judgment. As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the gates of heaven - others, though, were led over to Satan who threw them into a burning fire pit. Every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss the soul to one side in a small pile. After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the better of him. So he strolled over and tapped Satan on the shoulder. "Excuse me, Prince of Darkness," he said. "I'm waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn't help wondering why are you tossing those souls aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?" "Ah," Satan said with a grin. "Those are from Seattle ... they're too wet to burn!" ___________________________________________________
girl sees train for first time
____________________________________________________ Funny Laws Iowa: Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes. Kentucky: By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground." It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket and then sit close to somebody on a bus or train. Louisiana: It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault." Pennsylvania: A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in an apartment dwelling. (If the floor collapses onto the apartment below, that is sufficient proof for conviction of this crime) No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife. ____________________________________________________ A friend asked a gentleman why he never married? Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl." "Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry." "Yes, there was a girl... once. I guess she was the one perfect girl; the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything... I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me." "Well, why didn't you marry her," asked the friend. "She was looking for the perfect man." ____________________________________________________
Watch a slideshow of once beautiful, majestic mansions that have slowly died over the years from lack of care.

Today on June 27
0363 - The death of Roman Emperor Julian brought an end to
the Pagan Revival. 

1693 - "The Ladies' Mercury" was published by John Dunton
in London. It was the first women's magazine and contained
a "question and answer" column that became known as a
"problem page." 

1743 - King George II of England defeated the French at
Dettingen, Bavaria, in the War of the Austrian Succession. 

1787 - Edward Gibbon completed "The Decline and Fall of the
Roman Empire." It was published the following May. 

1801 - British forces defeated the French and took control
of Cairo, Egypt. 

1847 - New York and Boston were linked by telegraph wires. 

1871 - The yen became the new form of currency in Japan. 

1885 - Chichester Bell and Charles S. Tainter applied for a
patent for the gramophone. It was granted on May 4, 1886. 

1893 - The New York stock market crashed. By the end of the
year 600 banks and 74 railroads had gone out of business. 

1905 - The battleship Potemkin succumbed to a mutiny on the
Black Sea. 

1918 - Two German pilots were saved by parachutes for the
first time. 

1929 - Scientists at Bell Laboratories in New York revealed
a system for transmitting television pictures. 

1931 - Igor Sikorsky filed U.S. Patent 1,994,488, which
marked the breakthrough in US helicopter technology. 

1940 - Robert Pershing Wadlow was measured by Dr. Cyril
MacBryde and Dr. C. M. Charles. They recorded his height at
8' 11.1." He was only 22 at the time of his death on July
15, 1940. 

1942 - The FBI announced the capture of eight Nazi
saboteurs who had been put ashore from a submarine on New
York's Long Island. 

1944 - During World War II, American forces completed their
capture of the French port of Cherbourg from the German
army. 

1949 - "Captain Video and His Video Rangers" premiered on
the Dumont Television Network. 

1950 - Two days after North Korea invaded South Korea, U.S.
President Truman ordered the Air Force and Navy into the
Korean conflict. The United Nations Security Council had
asked for member nations to help South Korea repel an
invasion from the North.

1954 - The world's first atomic power station opened at
Obninsk, near Moscow. 

1955 - The state of Illinois enacted the first automobile
seat belt legislation. 

1967 - The world's first cash dispenser was installed at
Barclays Bank in Enfield, England. The device was invented
by John Sheppard-Barron. The machine operated on a voucher
system and the maximum withdrawal was $28. 

1967 - Two hundred people were arrested during a race riot
in Buffalo, NY. 

1969 - Patrons at the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York
City's Greenwich Village, clashed with police. This
incident is considered to be the birth of the homosexual
rights movement. 

1972 - Bobby Hull signed a 10-year hockey contract for
$2,500,000. He became a player and coach of the Winnipeg
Jets of the World Hockey Association. 

1973 - Nixon vetoed a Senate ban on bombing Cambodia. 

1980 - U.S. President Carter signed legislation reviving
draft registration. 

1984 - The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that individual
colleges could make their own TV package deals. 

1985 - Route 66 was officially removed from the United
States Highway System. 

1985 - The U.S. House of Representatives voted to limit the
use of combat troops in Nicaragua. 

1986 - The World Court ruled that the U.S. had broken
international law by aiding Nicaraguan rebels. 

1995 - Qatar's Crown Prince Sheik Hamad bin Khalifa al-
Thani ousted his father in a bloodless palace coup. 

1998 - An English woman was impregnated with her dead
husband's sperm after two-year legal battle over her right
to the sperm. 

2002 - In the U.S., the Securities and Exchange Commission
required companies with annual sales of more than $1.2
billion to submit sworn statements backing up the accuracy
of their financial reports. 

2005 - In Alaska's Denali National Park, a roughly 70-
million year old dinosaur track was discovered. The track
was form a three-toed Cretaceous period dinosaur.

2016  smiled.


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Is there an UV-protective glass? 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, June 26

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: Lee Merrett jailed for punching partner and baby at Dymchurch caravan park Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 25, in 1804 The Lewis and Clark Expedition reached the mouth of the Kansas River after completing a westward trek of nearly 400 river miles. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ "A German psychologist says that women talk more than men because they have a bigger vocabulary. But, it evens out because men only listen half the time." --- Jay Leno _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An eighty-five-year-old couple, married for almost sixty years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, in spite of of her interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and a master bath suite with a sauna and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," Peter replied. "This is heaven." Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course would change to new one that represented one of the great golf courses on Earth. The old man asked, "What are the green fees?" Peter's reply: "This is heaven; you play for free." Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is heaven; it is free!" Peter replied with some exasperation. "Well, where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly. Peter lectured, "That's the best part: You can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is heaven." With that, the old man threw down his hat, stomped on it, and shrieked wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Customer at a counter of a lawn ornament shop: "Give me four of those pinwheels, two of those pink flamingos, two of the sunflowers, and one of those bent- over grandma in bloomers." Cashier reply's: "That'll be eight dollars for the pinwheels, ten dollars for the flamingos, six dollars for the sunflowers, and an apology to my wife!" ______________________________________________________ A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone know what we mean by sins of omission?" A small girl replied, "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but didn't?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this picture from last night. 2 Queens Of The Night! They bloom just one night of the year. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Lee Merrett jailed for punching partner and baby at Dymchurch caravan park Lee Merret 23 Dymchurch, England A mother clutched her bruised, nine-month-old child in her arms after fleeing her drunk partner on a Dymchurch caravan park. The terrified woman frantically ran to nearby homes at the New Beach Park to try to raise the alarm after bully Lee Merrett beat her and punched her baby in the face. The mum – who had been hit several times by bully Lee Merrett – banged on several doors before someone came to her aid. Now, 23-year-old Merrett has been jailed for 15 months for the assaults, which a judge described as "frankly unforgivable, disgraceful and cowardly". Prosecutor Scott Brady told Canterbury Crown Court that Merrett and the woman had come to the park for a week’s holiday last July. During the day, Merrett, 23, had downed most of a bottle of Jack Daniel’s whiskey before the two began arguing. Mr Brady said Merrett wanted to go and play in the amusement arcade but the woman asked him to stay with her and their child. He said: "She lay on the bed with the child in her arms when the argument began over his drinking. At this point he punched her in the face repeatedly, causing bruising and leaving her with marks near her left eye, and marks to her neck." During the argument, Merrett picked up an aerosol can and threw it at his partner, hitting her in the right arm, leaving a bruise. "Violence against a child of his age is frankly unforgivable" - Judge Simon James The prosecutor added that Merrett also punched the crying baby in the face, leaving him with a swollen black eye, before headbutting his lover in the back of the head. "It was at this point she managed to escape from the caravan and she went to a number of caravans, banging on the doors, until she found someone to let her and her child inside, and called the police," he said. Merrett, from Walsall in the West Midlands, who admitted two assaults, was found hiding under a caravan by officers. He later told police he had been drinking whiskey and lager since 7pm and had wanted to go to the arcades. The prosecutor added that she claimed she was struck 20 times during the argument and their three-year relationship was now at an end. Judge Simon James told him: "You punched your young child in the face, causing bruising. "Violence against a child of his age is frankly unforgivable. "It was a disgraceful and cowardly act. It was your job to protect your child, not subject him to violence." ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Doris RE: Protect printed pictures Dear Webby, I read that printed pictures should be behind UV-protective glass if displayed on a an inside wall. Is that true and where would I get that kind of glass ? Doris Dear Doris UV does not go through glass. That is why you don't get a sun tan working inside a house. Inkjet pictures fade over time just from oxidation. Sprying them with a good varnish delays that. And naturally, a glass picture frame will protect them quite well. Laser printed pictures last much longer. They are protected by the wax, that carries the pigments. However, they too last longer if they are in a glass picture frame. Whenever somebody tries to con you into paying extra for UV-protective glass, then you know they are lying crooks. Any cheap glass will block UV. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Steve wasn't feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Well, Steve, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking." "To be honest with you, Doc," said Steve, "I don't deserve the best. What's the SECOND best?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Painting a Bird Bath By Elaine [7 Posts, 32 Comments] Good morning.. I suggest that you use "Patio Paints" made by DecoArt- they are strictly for indoor/outdoor projects and I do have a few instructions leaflets for birdbaths from Terra Cotta Pots and it suggests to use these type paints. Good luck..oh, you can find them at Michaels or Hobby Lobby. I have not seen them at any Walmart. Best is a Porch & Floor paint. For a bird bath use light colors. Battleship Grey or Light Grey seem to work best. Somehow birds feel more comfortable with those colors than with dark or bright colors. Have FUN! DearWerbby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Heather and Marcy hadn't seen each other in awhile, so they decided to meet for lunch. The talk naturally got around to their respective love lives. Marcy confided that there really wasn't anyone special in her life. Heather, on the other hand, was beaming about the new man she had found. "He's perfect. He's handsome, and last night when we went out to dinner, he said the five little words I've been waiting to hear a man say to me!" "He said 'Heather, will you marry me'?" Marcy asked. Heather replied, "No, he said 'Tonight I'll pay for supper'." ___________________________________________________
girl sees train for first time
____________________________________________________ The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a natural-history lesson. "Worker ants," she told them, "can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?" One child was ready with the answer: "They don't have OSHA." ____________________________________________________ At our local funeral home families are given the chance to chose the music they would like to enter the service to. One family asked to enter to Elvis Presley's hit, "Love me Tender." The day of the funeral arrived and the music was started ready for the family to walk in to the service. Unfortunately the wrong track number was entered into the CD player, and the family found themselves walking in to, "Return to Sender." ____________________________________________________
Some of these things invented in 2015 are really terrific!

Today on June 25
1096 Peter the Hermit's crusaders forced their way across
Sava, Hungary. 

1243 The Seljuk Turkish army in Asia Minor was wiped out by
the Mongols. 

1483 Richard III usurped himself to the English throne. 

1794 The French defeated an Austrian army at the Battle of
Fleurus. 

1804 The Lewis and Clark Expedition reached the mouth of
the Kansas River after completing a westward trek of nearly
400 river miles. 

1819 The bicycle was patented by W.K. Clarkson, Jr. 

1870 The first section of the boardwalk in Atlantic City,
NJ, was opened to the public. 

1894 The American Railway Union called a general strike in
sympathy with Pullman workers. 

1900 The United States announced that it would send troops
to fight against the Boxer rebellion in China. 

1900 A commission that included Dr. Walter Reed began the
fight against the deadly disease yellow fever. 

1907 Russia's nobility demanded drastic measures to be
taken against revolutionaries. 

1908 Shah Muhammad Ali's forces squelched the reform
elements of Parliament in Persia. 

1917 General John "Black Jack" Pershing arrived in France
with the American Expeditionary Force. 

1925 Charlie Chaplin's comedy "The Gold Rush" premiered in
Hollywood. 

1926 A memorial to the first U.S. troops in France was
unveiled at St. Nazaire. 

1924 After eight years of occupation, American troops left
the Dominican Republic. 

1927 The Coney Island Cyclone roller coaster opened in New
York. 

1936 The Focke-Wulf Fw 61 made its first flight. It is the
first practical helicopter. 

1942 The Grumman F6F Hellcat fighter was flown for the
first time. 

1945 The U.N. Charter was signed by 50 nations in San
Francisco, CA. 

1948 The Berlin Airlift began as the U.S., Britain and
France started ferrying supplies to the isolated western
sector of Berlin. 

1951 The Soviet Union proposed a cease-fire in the Korean
War. 

1959 U.S. President Eisenhower joined Britain's Queen
Elizabeth II in ceremonies officially opening the St.
Lawrence Seaway. 

1961 A Kuwaiti vote opposed Iraq's annexation plans. 

1971 The U.S. Justice Department issued a warrant for
Daniel Ellsberg, accusing him of giving away the Pentagon
Papers. 

1974 In Troy, Ohio, a Marsh supermarket installed the first
bar code scanning equipment, made by IBM, and a product
with a bar code was scanned for the first time. The product
was Juicy Fruit gum. 

1975 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi declared a state
of emergency due to "deep and widespread conspiracy." 

1976 In Toronto, Canada, the CN Tower opened to the public.
The official opening date is listed as October 1, 1976. It
was the world's tallest free-standing stucture and the
world's tallest tower until 2010. 

1979 Muhammad Ali, at 37 years old, announced that he was
retiring as world heavyweight boxing champion. 

1985 Wilbur Snapp was ejected after playing "Three Blind
Mice" during a baseball game. The incident followed a call
made by umpire Keith O'Connor. 

1996 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the Virginia Military
Institute to admit women or forgo state support. 

1997 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Communications
Decency Act of 1996 that made it illegal to distribute
indecent material on the Internet. 

1997 J.K. Rowlings book "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's
Stone" was published in the U.K. The book was later
released in the U.S. under the name "Harry Potter and the
Sorcerer's Stone." This was the first book in the Harry
Potter series. 

1997 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld state laws that allow
for a ban on doctor-assisted suicides. 

1998 The U.S. and Peru open school to train commandos to
patrol Peru's rivers for drug traffickers. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that employers are always
potentially liable for supervisor's sexual misconduct
toward an employee. 

2000 The Human Genome Project and Celera Genomics Corp.
jointly announced that they had created a working draft of
the human genome. 

2000 Indonesia's President Abdurrahman Wahid declared a
state of emergency in the Moluccas due to the escalation of
fighting between Christians and Muslims. 

2001 Ray Bourque (Colorado Avalanche) announced his
retirement just 17 days after winning his first Stanley
Cup. Bouque retired after 22 years and held the NHL record
for highest-scoring defenseman and playing in 19
consecutive All-Star games. 

2002 WorldCom Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy
protection. 
2016  smiled.


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What is CSS 




Good Morning, ,
Thank you Joe in Danville!!

Today is Saturday, June 25

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
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Today's International Bonehead Award: San Diego high school cheerleader charged in fatal beating of homeless man Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 25, in 1876 Lt. Col. Custer and the 210 men of U.S. 7th Cavalry were killed by Sioux and Cheyenne Indians at Little Big Horn in Montana. The event is known as "Custer's Last Stand." More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree. --- Charles Baudelaire (1821 - 1867) Life is a sexually transmitted disease. --- R. D. Laing "We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others by their acts." --- Harold Nicholson (1820-1904 _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A crusty old colonel on his way to the Legion for his FNB (Friday Night Brew) got tangled in a small crowd on the sidewalk at some gala event downtown, hosted by a local liberal arts association, and was quickly hustled inside by some of the fanatically idealistic ladies involved in that event. He vaguely remembered similar events from his long gone by college days and he quickly spotted one of those serving trays with drinks on them, grabbed one and with an officious looking, fast stride skirted the crowd, trying not too hard at all at offering drinks to people. He had emptied almost every glass on the tray and was almost back to the counter where the full trays were in readiness for the hostesses to pick them up for serving. One of those approached the colonel for conversation. She said, "Excuse me, sir, but you seem to be a very serious man. Are you this way all the time, or is something bothering you?" "No," the colonel said, "just serious by nature." The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action." The colonel's short reply was, "Yes, you could say that." He didn't tell her that the ribbons and medals were for good attendance or completing first aid courses, and that "action" for a supply colonel in an Idaho training base was mostly in the back of the warehouse. The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up a little - relax and enjoy yourself." The colonel raised his eyes from his tray of drinks, which just happened to be in a straight line of sight with some attractive areas of her figure, and stared at her in his most serious manner. He had thought he was enjoying himself Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?" The colonel looked at her and replied, "1955." She said, "Well there you go; you really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously - I mean, no sex since 1955, isn't that a little extreme?" The colonel, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, "Oh, I don't know. It's only 2035 now! The evening is still young"
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
I stepped into the restroom at the Motor Vehicle Registration office and found this neatly printed sign posted over one of those hot air hand dryers: "Please push button and listen for a short message from the Minister of Transportation." ______________________________________________________ In my day, we didn't have history class. It was all current events! When God said, "Let there be light," I had to go turn on the sun! ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by San Diego high school cheerleader charged in fatal beating of homeless man Hailey Suder, 18, Preston Mostrong, 19, Austin Mostrong, 20, San Diego, California A high school cheerleader has been charged in connection with the beating death of a homeless man in San Diego County, officials said. Hailey Suder, 18, pleaded not guilty Monday to two felony counts of being an accessory after the fact, according to Tanya Sierra, spokeswoman for the San Diego County district attorney’s office. Suder was dating one of two brothers charged with killing 50 year-old George Lowery, the San Diego Union-Tribune reported. Sheriff’s homicide investigators did not say what role she played in Lowery’s death, and which brother she was dating. Suder was a senior at Santana High School, but did not graduate with her class this month, said Catherine Martin, spokeswoman for the Grossmont Union High School District. She was a cheerleader, Martin said. Brothers Austin Mostrong, 20, and Preston Mostrong, 19, have admitted involvement in Lowery’s beating, according to Deputy Dist. Atty. George Modlin. Lowery’s wife found him unconscious April 24 near their camp in a river bottom at Chubb Lane and North Magnolia Avenue in Santee, according to the San Diego County Sheriff’s Department. Lowery suffered severe trauma after being kicked and punched in the head. He was taken to a hospital, where he died days later. Sheriff’s investigators alleged Lowery was tortured during the attack. The Mostrong brothers were on probation at the time of the murder, and their bail was set at $3 Million. Lowery’s daughter, Katey Torres, set up a GoFundMe account to raise funds for the family’s expenses. See the most-read stories in Local News this hour >> She said her mother and father had been married 25 years. “His whole life revolved around his wife, Penny,” Torres said. “Working and doing any handy work he could to provide for him and his wife and family. Her mother, she said, found her father “brutally beaten, bloody, tied up, face down and unconscious. Covered up to die.” Torres described her father as a generous man who suffered in his last days. He had a stroke and two brain hemorrhages as a result of the beating. “Although he did not have much he was always giving,” she said. “Anyone he came across loved his personality and he was always talking to people. Anyone he saw that needed help or just needed a smile he'd be there lifting your spirits. If someone was in need he would do what he could to help, no matter how hard the task. If he came across good fortune, he shared it.” ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Art RE: What is a CSS Dear Webby, I thought I knew my way around HTML and writing web pages. Like most people, I had learned by copying pages and modifying pages, but for some reason I never figured out what CSS is about. Now I got asked in an interview if I was familiar with CSS. Of course I said I was. You better teach me right quick! Art Dear Art CSS are just Cascading Style Sheets. First you define a basic corporate style of backgrounds, fonts, colors, etc. Then you refine that with exceptions. For example you could make the normal fonts Arial, size medium. But then you can define the fonts for inside table headers to be Verdana, large. And so on. All the styles can be defined in one style sheet that is then linked to in every page. You can additionally make style sheets that apply to only one page, but use the corporate stuff and only enhance it with exceptions for that page. Using CSS ensures a consistent corporate look. It also saves a lot of wear and tear on your typing finger because once all those styles are defined, they are automatic on every page that links to the style sheet. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ At a wedding rehearsal, the minister told the father of the bride, "As you give your daughter's hand to the bridegroom, you should say something nice to him." The father, a grocery-store manager, took the advice. During the wedding ceremony, he placed the bride's hand on his son-in-law's arm and said: "No deposit, no return." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Painting a Bird Bath By Elaine [7 Posts, 32 Comments] Good morning.. I suggest that you use "Patio Paints" made by DecoArt- they are strictly for indoor/outdoor projects and I do have a few instructions leaflets for birdbaths from Terra Cotta Pots and it suggests to use these type paints. Good luck..oh, you can find them at Michaels or Hobby Lobby. I have not seen them at any Walmart. Best is a Porch & Floor paint. For a bird bath use light colors. Battleship Grey or Light Grey seem to work best. Somehow birds feel more comfortable with those colors than with dark or bright colors. Have FUN! DearWerbby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Recently a large seminar was held for ministers in training. Among the guests were many well-known motivational speakers. One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!" The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman was my mother!" The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which went over well. About a week later one of the ministers who had attended the seminar decided to use that joke in his sermon. As he shyly approached the pulpit one sunny Sunday, he tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It seemed a bit foggy to him this morning. Getting to the microphone he said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman that was not my wife!" His congregation sat shocked. After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, the pastor finally blurted out, "...and I can't remember who she was!" ___________________________________________________
Bathroom prank
____________________________________________________ Each Friday night I drove my wife to the train station so she could go visit her sister who was ill. Ten minutes later, MY sister arrived by train so that she could manage our house over the weekend while my wife was gone and I was out coaching. On Sundays this procedure worked in reverse with my sister departing by train ten minutes before my wife arrived. One evening after my sister left and while I awaited my wife's arrival, a porter sauntered over. "Mister," he said, "you sure have some system going! But one of these days the 5:25 train is gonna be late and you're gonna get caught!" ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Ruth for this one: A woman was helping her computer-illiterate husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to choose and enter a 6 character or longer password... Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in "p e n i s". His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH ____________________________________________________
Vegetables go wild. We grew a potato one year that looked just like a duck.

Today on June 24
0841 Charles the Bald and Louis the German defeated Lothar
at Fontenay. 

1080 At Brixen, a council of bishops declared Pope Gregory
to be deposed and Archbishop Guibert as antipope Clement
III. 

1580 The Book of Concord was first published. The book is a
collection of doctrinal standards of the Lutheran Church. 

1658 Aurangzeb proclaimed himself emperor of the Moghuls in
India. 

1767 Mexican Indians rioted as Jesuit priests were ordered
home. 

1788 Virginia ratified the U.S. Constitution and became the
10th state of the United States. 

1864 Union troops surrounding Petersburg, VA, began
building a mine tunnel underneath the Confederate lines. 

1867 Lucien B. Smith patented the first barbed wire. 

1868 The U.S. Congress enacted legislation granting an
eight-hour day to workers employed by the Federal
government. 

1868 Florida, Alabama, Louisiana, Georgia, North Carolina
and South Carolina were readmitted to the Union. 

1870 In Spain, Queen Isabella abdicated in favor of Alfonso
XII. 

1876 Lt. Col. Custer and the 210 men of U.S. 7th Cavalry
were killed by Sioux and Cheyenne Indians at Little Big
Horn in Montana. The event is known as "Custer's Last
Stand." 

1877 In Philadelphia, PA, Alexander Graham Bell
demonstrated the telephone for Sir William Thomson (Baron
Kelvin) and Emperor Pedro II of Brazil at the Centennial
Exhibition. 

1906 Pittsburgh millionaire Harry Kendall Thaw, the son of
coal and railroad baron William Thaw, shot and killed
Stanford White. White, a prominent architect, had a tryst
with Florence Evelyn Nesbit before she married Thaw. The
shooting took place at the premeire of Mamzelle Champagne
in New York. 

1910 The U.S. Congress authorized the use of postal savings
stamps. 

1917 The first American fighting troops landed in France. 

1920 The Greeks took 8,000 Turkish prisoners in Smyrna. 

1921 Samuel Gompers was elected head of the AFL for the
40th time. 

1938 Gaelic scholar Douglas Hyde was inaugurated as the
first president of the Irish Republic. 

1941 Finland declared war on the Soviet Union. 

1946 Ho Chi Minh traveled to France for talks on Vietnamese
independence. 

1948 The Soviet Union tightened its blockade of Berlin by
intercepting river barges heading for the city. 

1950 North Korea invaded South Korea initiating the Korean
War. 

1951 In New York, the first regular commercial color TV
transmissions were presented on CBS using the FCC-approved
CBS Color System. The public did not own color TV's at the
time. 

1959 The Cuban government seized 2.35 million acres under a
new agrarian reform law. 

1959 Eamon De Valera became president of Ireland at the age
of 76. 

1962 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the use of
unofficial non-denominational prayer in public schools was
unconstitutional. 

1964 U.S. President Lyndon Johnson ordered 200 naval
personnel to Mississippi to assist in finding three missing
civil rights workers. 

1968 Bobby Bonds (San Francisco Giants) hit a grand-slam
home run in his first game with the Giants. He was the
first player to debut with a grand-slam. 

1970 The U.S. Federal Communications Commission handed down
a ruling (35 FR 7732), making it illegal for radio stations
to put telephone calls on the air without the permission of
the person being called. 

1973 Erskine Childers Jr. became president of Ireland after
the retirement of Eamon De Valera. 

1973 White House Counsel John Dean admitted that U.S.
President Nixon took part in the Watergate cover-up. 

1975 Mozambique became independent. Samora Machel was sworn
in as president after 477 years of Portuguese rule. 

1981 The U.S. Supreme Court decided that male-only draft
registration was constitutional. 

1985 ABC's "Monday Night Football" began with a new line-
up. The trio was Frank Gifford, Joe Namath and O.J.
Simpson. 

1985 New York Yankees officials enacted the rule that
mandated that the team's bat boys were to wear protective
helmets during all games. 

1986 The U.S. Congress approved $100 million in aid to the
Contras fighting in Nicaragua. 

1987 Austrian President Kurt Waldheim visited Pope John
Paul II at the Vatican. The meeting was controversial due
to allegations that Waldheim had hidden his Nazi past. 

1990 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the right of an
individual, whose wishes are clearly made, to refuse life-
sustaining medical treatment. "The right to die" decision
was made in the Curzan vs. Missouri case. 

1991 The last Soviet troops left Czechoslovakia 23 years
after the Warsaw Pact invasion. 

1991 The Yugoslav republics of Slovenia and Croatia
declared their independence from Yugoslavia. 

1993 Kim Campbell took office as Canada's first woman prime
minister. She assumed power upon the resignation of Brian
Mulroney. 

1997 The Russian space station Mir was hit by an unmanned
cargo vessel. Much of the power supply was knocked out and
the station's Spektr module was severely damaged. 

1997 U.S. air pollution standards were significantly
tightened by U.S. President Clinton. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court rejected the line-item veto
thereby striking down presidential power to cancel specific
items in tax and spending legislation. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that those infected with
HIV are protected by the Americans With Disabilities Act. 

1998 Microsoft's "Windows 98" was released to the public. 

1999 Germany's parliament approved a national Holocaust
memorial to be built in Berlin. 

2000 U.S. and British researchers announced that they had
completed a rough draft of a map of the genetic makeup of
human beings. The project was 10 years old at the time of
the announcement. 

2000 A Florida judge approved a class-action lawsuit to be
filed against American Online (AOL) on behalf of hourly
subscribers who were forced to view "pop-up"
advertisements. 
2016  smiled.


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Back-Up Concept 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, June 24
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: Florida National Cemetery worker stole from deceased WWII veteran Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 24, in 1497 Italian explorer John Cabot, sailing in the service of England, landed in North America on what is now Newfoundland. One of Hagar the Horrible's ancestors had established a colony there around 1050, but they later were killed by the Indians or left. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Perpetual devotion to what a man calls his business, is only to be sustained by perpetual neglect of many other things. --- Robert Louis Stevenson _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband. "Henry," she said, "I've just received a letter from Mother saying she isn't accepting our invitation to come and stay, as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?" "Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I couldn't spell convenience, so I made it risk."
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Just as she was celebrating her 80th birthday, our friend received a jury-duty notice. She called to remind the people at the clerk's office that she was exempt because of her age. "You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms," they said. "I've already done that," she replied. "I did it last year." "You have to do it every year," she was told. "Why?" came the response. "Do you think I'm going to get younger, or are YOU getting too old and forgetful?" ______________________________________________________ As the manager of our hospital's softball team, I was responsible for returning equipment to the proper owners at the end of the season. When I walked into the surgery department carrying a bat that belonged to one of the surgeons, I passed several patients and their families in a waiting area. "Look, honey," one man said to his wife. "Here comes your anesthesiologist." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by Penny An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Florida National Cemetery worker stole from deceased WWII veteran Kevin A. Cullen, 33, Bushnell Florida A Florida National Cemetery worker stole a deceased veteran's wallet from an urn and bought pizza and video gaming cards with the vet's credit card, Sumter County deputies say. Kevin A. Cullen, 33, of Bushnell was arrested Monday on several charges, including fraudulent use of personal identification of a deceased person and credit card theft. Cullen was responsible for interring the ashes of a 93- year-old World War II Navy torpedoman who died in late November but whose ashes were not interred until April, Sumter County deputies said. Family members were resolving the veteran's financial affairs when they found suspicious credit card charges on his accounts that occurred on the same day the veteran was interred, deputies said. Sumter detectives and a special agent from the Department of Veterans Affairs Office of Inspector General met with Cullen before he reported for duty at the cemetery Monday morning. During an interview at the Sheriff's Office, deputies said he admitted to taking the deceased veteran's wallet from the urn and buying the pizza and gaming cards with the credit card. Cullen was booked in the Sumter Detention Center on $11,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Howard RE: Back-Up concept Dear Webby, I just got transferred to the Eastcoast and was trying to set up the same system of backing up every machine onto the next one, so that going around in a circle, everything was backed up, just like I had done in the Midwest. The girls in the offices didn't call me an idiot outright, but their eyebrows said it clear enough. For disciplinary reasons I did not want to ask them why they thought that was a stupid idea. Can you please enlighten me? Howard Dear Howard At the Eastcoast burglaries are a lot more common than in the Midwest, where you have proabbly led a very sheltered life. Where is your company's business if all the machines in that office are burglared or destroyed by fire ? The only method that is even sillier is to back up onto a second drive in the same machine. The ladies are probably used to either upload the day's new data onto the net, or onto little portable drives that they throw into their purses or pockets or vehicle or bank night deposit slot. Then if something happened to the office overnight, the insurance supplies new computers, you dump the off-site stored data into them, and by noon it's business as usual. Next time their eyebrows say "What a moron!", ask them how they are used to doing things. Willingness to learn actually earns you respect. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ That baseball bat joke reminds me of this one: A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it. The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com How to Detect a Two Way Mirror When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms etc, how many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a two-way mirror? Just conduct this simple test: Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is a GENUINE mirror. However, if your fingernail directly touches the image of your nail, then BEWARE, for it is a two-way mirror! By Marti M. Editor's Note: Another way to detect whether a mirror is a two way mirror is to turn off the lights and put a flashlight up against the mirror. If there is a room behind the mirror, you will see it. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One night Buffy brought her boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance; fake leather jacket, cowboy boots, tattoos and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Buffy," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice." "Oh please, Mom," replied the blonde daughter, "if he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?" ___________________________________________________
Rio Welcome Sign
____________________________________________________ Anna's third-grade class students were bombarding her with questions about her newly pierced ears. "Does the hole go all the way through?" "Yes." "Did it hurt?" "Just a little." "Did they stick a needle through your ears?" "No, they used a special gun." Silence followed, and then one solemn voice called out, "How far away did they stand?" Little Johnny tried answering that one: "Well, the way your ears stick out like an open barn door, I could do it from fifty feet with my '22." ____________________________________________________ Gladys was the preacher's wife and accompanied her husband each Sunday to Church. One particular Sunday when the sermon seemed to go on forever, many in the congregation fell asleep. After the service, to be sociable, she walked up to a very sleepy looking gentleman. In an attempt to revive him from his stupor, she extended her hand in greeting, and said, "Hello, I'm Gladys Dunn." To which the gentleman replied, "You're not the only one!" ____________________________________________________
Rooftop gardens. What a great idea!

Today on June 24
1314 - Scottish forces led by Robert the Bruce won over
Edward II of England at the Battle of Bannockburn in
Scotland. 

1340 The English fleet defeated the French fleet at Sluys,
off the Flemish coast. 

1497 Italian explorer John Cabot, sailing in the service of
England, landed in North America on what is now
Newfoundland. One of Hagar the Horrible's ancestors had
established a colony there around 1050, but they later were
killed by the Indians or left.

1509 Henry VIII was crowned King of England. 

1664 New Jersey, named after the Isle of Jersey, was
founded. 

1675 King Philip's War began when Indians massacred
colonists at Swansee, Plymouth colony. 

1717 The Freemasons were founded in London. 

1793 The first republican constitution in France was
adopted. 

1812 Napoleon crossed the Nieman River and invaded Russia. 

1844 Charles Goodyear was granted U.S. patent #3,633 for
vulcanized rubber (rubber + sulfur + soot). 

1859 At the Battle of Solferino, also known as the Battle
of the Three Sovereigns, the French army led by Napoleon
III defeated the Austrian army under Franz Joseph I in
northern Italy. 

1861 Federal gunboats attacked Confederate batteries at
Mathias Point, Virginia. 

1862 U.S. intervention saved the British and French at the
Dagu forts in China. 

1869 Mary Ellen "Mammy" Pleasant officially became the
Vodoo Queen in San Francisco, CA. 

1910 The Japanese army invaded Korea. 

1913 Greece and Serbia annulled their alliance with
Bulgaria following border disputes over Macedonia and
Thrace. 

1931 The Soviet Union and Afghanistan signed a treaty of
neutrality. 

1940 France signed an armistice with Italy. 

1940 TV cameras were used for the first time in a political
convention as the Republicans convened in Philadelphia,
PA.


1941 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt pledged all possible
support to the Soviet Union. 

1948 The Soviet Union began the Berlin Blockade. 

1955 Soviet MIG's down a U.S. Navy patrol plane over the
Bering Strait. 

1964 The Federal Trade Commission announced that starting
in 1965, cigarette manufactures would be required to
include warnings on their packaging about the harmful
effects of smoking. 

1968 "Resurrection City," a shantytown constructed as part
of the Poor People's March on Washington D.C., was closed
down by authorities. 

1970 The U.S. Senate voted overwhelmingly to repeal the
Gulf of Tonkin Resolution. 

1982 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that no president
could be sued for damages connected with actions taken
while serving as President of the United States. 

1986 The Empire State Building was designated a National
Historic Landmark. 

1997 The U.S. Air Force released a report titled "The
Roswell Report, Case Closed" that dismissed the claims that
an alien spacecraft had crashed in Roswell, NM, in 1947. 

1998 AT&T Corp. struck a deal to buy cable TV giant Tele-
Communications Inc. for $31.7 billion. 

2002 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that juries, not judges,
must make the decision to give a convicted killer the death
penalty. 

2002 A painting from Monet's Waterlilies series sold for
$20.2 million. 

2003 In Paris, France, manuscripts by novelist Georges
Simenon brought in $325,579. The original manuscript of "La
Mort de Belle" raised $81,705. 

2010 Apple released the iPhone 4. 

2016  smiled.


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USB cable to the top 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, June 23

Thanks Frank!!!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: Floriduh bonehead breaks church windows because God allowed him to lose his phone. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 23, in 1868 - Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an invention that he called a "Type-Writer." More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change. --- Dan Quayle (1947 - ) If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. --- Johnny Carson (1925 - 2005) If you cannot convince them, confuse them. --- Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972) _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Jews don't recognize Christ as their savior, Catholics don't recognize Jews, Baptists don't recognize one another in the liquor store or at hooters, and moonshiners don't buy corn in their own village.
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Canada Day and Independence Day are coming up. If you have a remote controlled barbecue, turn off the gas to make sure you don't get any surprises if guests store their fireworks in there! Some barbecue lids are still in orbit from last year. ______________________________________________________ One rainy evening John and his wife emerged from a restaurant only to find that he had locked the keys in the car.He insisted he could open the door with a wire coat hanger, so they went back to the restaurant to get one. There were none to be found. John then ran to a department store a quarter-mile away and returned with a hanger. After a few attempts, he got the door open and they climbed in. As they sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the hanger under his seat. With a smug grin, he said, "Now if this ever happens again, I'll have a coathanger ready!" ______________________________________________________ Nebraska storm ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Floriduh bonehead breaks church windows because God allowed him to lose his phone. Justin Meeks, 27, Pinellas, Floriduh A man who said he was angry with God was arrested after he broke a window at a church, Pinellas deputies said. It happened this week at the Church of God on 66th Street around 5 p.m. Pinellas deputies got several complaints about a man who was breaking windows at the church. When they responded to the address and started talking to the man, he told them he was angry with God. The man identified as Justin Meeks, 27, explained to them that he had lost his cellphone and that’s why he was angry. The damage to the church window is estimated at above $200. Meeks was taken to the Pinellas County jail on the charge of criminal mischief to a place of worship. His bond is set at $5,000. He’s had one previous arrest in the county in 2012. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bean RE: Instead of USB cable Dear Webby, If your new digital camera records pics onto a Compact Flash or SD card, it's a lot easier on your camera's batteries to just pop the card out, stick it in a reader and go from there. You're no longer locked into the usually clunky camera manufacturer's software, and you save lots of time moving things around. Bean Dear Bean I have recommended that countless times. The same thing still applies. Bring a USB cable up to the side of the monitor and power a USB hub with it. Then you can conveniently plug in a card reader, keyboard, mouse, and all kinds of gadgets into the USB hub, without having to crawl around under your desk. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and studied it with an appraising eye. "We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said finally. "Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That's the owner. He does not like being boiled or fried." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Vinegar as a Fabric Softener By Cassie [20 Posts, 60 Comments] Making your own fabric softener is so simple, just take a one gallon jug of white vinegar and add your own preference of essential oils. I add 40 drops of the oils to the vinegar and shake back and forth to mix up. During the washer's rinse cycle, add 1/4 cup and it will leave your wash smelling so nice and fresh. It lasts longer than traditional fabric softeners. By cassie from Paragould, AR ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Some people are like Slinkies . . .. not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. ___________________________________________________
a boy's imagination
____________________________________________________ A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts." "He communicates real well and I act like I'm listening." ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Jim for this one: I graduated from a private school that I didn't like much. Once I was out of there, I had no particular desire to ever contribute to their latest fund drive or athletic events. Sure enough, Alumni Affairs staff called my folks, got my current number and tracked me down. 'So, what have you been doing with yourself?' the perky alumnus asked. I responded, "Oh, not a lot. Just what I learned in college: Stealing cars, selling dope and running moonshine." They've never called back. ____________________________________________________
Timing is everything!

Today on June 23
1683 - William Penn signed a friendship treaty with Lenni
Lenape Indians in Pennsylvania. 

1700 - Russia gave up its Black Sea fleet as part of a
truce with the Ottoman Empire. 

1758 - British and Hanoverian armies defeated the French at
Krefeld in Germany. 

1760 - The Austrians defeated the Prussians at Landshut,
Germany. 

1757 - Robert Clive defeated the Indians at Plassey and won
control of Bengal. 

1836 - The U.S. Congress approved the Deposit Act, which
contained a provision for turning over surplus federal
revenue to the states. 

1848 - A bloody insurrection of workers in Paris erupted. 

1865 - Confederate General Stand Watie, who was also a
Cherokee chief, surrendered the last sizable Confederate
army at Fort Towson, in the Oklahoma Territory. 

1868 - Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an
invention that he called a "Type-Writer." 

1884 - A Chinese Army defeated the French at Bacle,
Indochina. 

1902 - Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Italy renewed the
Triple Alliance for a 12 year duration. 

1904 - The first American motorboat race got underway on
the Hudson River in New York. 

1926 - The first lip reading tournament in America was held
in Philadelphia, PA. 

1931 - Wiley Post and Harold Gatty took off from New York
on the first round-the-world flight in a single-engine
plane. 

1934 - Italy gained the right to colonize Albania after
defeating the country. 

1938 - The Civil Aeronautics Authority was established. 

1938 - Marineland opened near St. Augustine, Florida. 

1947 - The U.S. Senate joined the House in overriding
President Truman's veto of the Taft-Hartley Act. 

1951 - Soviet U.N. delegate Jacob Malik proposed cease-fire
discussions in the Korean War. 

1952 - The U.S. Air Force bombed power plants on Yalu
River, Korea. 

1956 - Gamal Abdel Nasser was elected president of Egypt. 

1964 - Henry Cabot Lodge resigned as the U.S. envoy to
Vietnam and was succeeded by Maxwell Taylor. 

1966 - Civil Rights marchers in Mississippi were dispersed
by tear gas. 

1972 - U.S. President Nixon and White House chief of staff
H.R. Haldeman discussed a plan to use the CIA to obstruct
the FBI's Watergate investigation. 

2003 - Apple Computer Inc. unveiled the new Power Mac
desktop computer. 

2004 - The U.S. proposed that North Korea agree to a series
of nuclear disarmament measures over a three-month period
in exchange for economic benefits. 

2005 - Roger Ebert received a star on the Hollywood Walk of
Fame. 

2013 - In Arizona, aerialist Nik Wallenda completed a
quarter mile tightrope walk over the Little Colorado River
Gorge. 

2015 - NASA's Mars Odyssey completed its 60,000th orbit
around Mars. The spacecraft entered orbit on October 23,
2001. 

2015 - Verizon announced it had completed its $4.4 billion
purchase of AOL, Inc. 
2016  smiled.


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USB cable for camera 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, June 22

Thanks Mildred!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's International Bonehead Award: Convicted sex offender asks mother of 14-year-old 'I want her, what do you want for her?' Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 22, in 1611 - English explorer Henry Hudson, his son and several other people were set adrift in present-day Hudson Bay by mutineers. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown. --- Woody Allen _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Little Johnny was left to fix lunch. When his mother returned with a friend, she noticed that Johnny had already strained the tea. The two women then sipped their tea happily while having lunch. "Was it hard finding the tea strainer in the kitchen?" Johnny's mother asked. "I couldn't find it Ma, so I used the fly swatter," he replied. His mother nearly fainted, so Johnny hastily added: "Don't get excited, Ma, I used the old one!" ---------------------- That should have cleaned up the old flyswatter quite nicely!
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
>From Barbarella Two brawny men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job was done. As they were getting ready to leave, I asked them to put the heavy appliances back in place. The two men demanded $45 for this service, stating it was not in their contract. I really had no choice but to pay them. Shortly after they left, however, the doorbell rang. It was the two men. They asked me to move my car, which was blocking their van. I told them my fee: $45. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Penny for this one: WOMAN SUES HOSPITAL A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman, one Anne Maynard, has sued St. Luke's Hospital, saying that after her husband was treated there recently, he had lost all interest in sex. A hospital spokesman replied, "Mr. Maynard was actually admitted into Ophthalmology - all we did was correct his eyesight." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Convicted sex offender asks mother of 14-year-old 'I want her, what do you want for it?' Ricky James Overhulser, 53, Lubbock, Texas A Lubbock man has been arrested and charged with attempt to compel prostitution after he allegedly approached a 14- year-old girl at a 7-11 gas station on Parkway Drive on Tuesday. The man has also been identified as a registered sex offender. According to Lubbock police documents, just after 1:30 p.m., officers responded to the gas station after reports of an attempted kidnapping. The victim, a 14-year-old girl, was fueling up her mother's car while her mother paid inside. Reports say 53-year-old Ricky James Overhulser pulled up next to the girl and told her to get into his car. The girl refused and Overhulser told her again to get in his car and she refused a second time. He then asked her if she "dated." She told him "no" and went into the store to get her mother. "She got pretty startled, as a 14-year-old would," said Lt. Ray Mendoza with the Lubbock Police Department. Police say when the mother came outside, Overhulser had driven away. She was finishing fueling up her car when he returned, pulled up close to her car and fanned cash while he asked, "how much for your daughter." The girl's mother called him a "dirty old man" and let him know she was calling police. Overhulser drove away in a white Pontiac passenger car. Mendoza says the mother and daughter were able to get a license plate number. "The detectives get called to the scene, they immediately go looking for him, try to hunt him down," he says. "We put out a broadcast to all our local officers. We reached out to DPS and the Sheriff's Department to be on the lookout." Enough information was gathered to obtain an arrest warrant late Wednesday night. "He had a couple of municipal court warrants, so they were at least, trying to arrest him while the investigators continued to work the case," Mendoza explains. Overhulser was already in the Lubbock County Jail on unrelated charges and was re-arrested on the new charges. Overhulser has been a registered sex offender since 2000, where his victim was a 16-year-old female, according to the Texas Department of Public Safety sex offender registry. He spent 10 years in jail, from 2000 until 2010. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sharon RE: USB cable connected Dear Webby, Thanks for the fun letter today. I finally did invest in a digital camera. Have just begun to read the book. I have 2 questions. 1) Would it be ok to connect the usb cable to the pc & leave it plugged in even when not connected to the camera? My connection is at the base of the pc which is on the floor & it is sometimes difficult to get down to connect it. 2) I haven't tried sending the pic to the pc yet so I can email them to family & friends but am curious as to what size would good to send. Some pics I have received have are so big they seem to take so long to download. Any size suggestions? Thanks so much for your help. This will be a new experience for me. Sharon Dear Sharon Yes, sure you can leave the cable plugged into the PC. Just put the open end into a cup, in case any chips drip out. Just kidding about anything dripping out. It is just an extension cord. Go to the Dollar Store and buy a 4 or 7 outlet USB hub, and a USB extesion cord. The camera cable usually has male ends on both sides. What you need is a proper extension cord with a female end on one side for the USB hub to plug into. Then glue the USB hub to the side of the monitor with a strip of double sided tape or crazy glue, and snug up the extension cord with a pretty ribbon or twist tie to make sure you don't roll over it with your chair or trip over it. Now you can plug the camera cable and anything else into the USB hub without crawling around under your desk and bashing your head when you stand up. For picture size, save the original indo a folder named Originals, and save resized versions with a slightly different name. Rename the Original from it's silly number to for example SunsetJune2016-L.jpg The -L is for Large. Name the resized version SunsetJune2016-.jpg, and if you make a small thumbnail, name that one SunsetJune2016.jpg. For mailing picture a width of 600 is ideal. If you have a web site, you can put monitor size pictures up there at 1024x768 or similar, and have a small picture in the mail linking to it, like I do with the Humor letter. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ Thanks to Faye for this one: I did my nurse's training at a hospital in Liverpool, England. My fellow students and I had little money for meals, so we ate the awful food provided at the hospital complex. We often took our breaks in the kitchen, and sometimes kindly vistors would give us some of the treats they had brought for patients. One night a woman brought a pork pie to the kitchen and said to me, "Would you eat this up, love?" Delighted at the offer, another student and I devoured every crumb. Soon our benefactor returned, however, and asked, "Is me 'usband's pie 'ot yet, dearie?" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Permanent Marker from a Car If you want it to be EASY, grab a sponge and pour some NAIL POLISH REMOVER on the sponge, and wipe it gently or angrily, depending on how you feel, it will be like erasing writing on the white board. SO EASY! Nail Polish Remover is the master of all. (12/08/2007) By Sexy Saechao ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "Sir," said the timid employee to his boss, "my wife says I'm to ask you for a raise." "Fine," the boss replied. "I'll ask my wife if I can give you one." ___________________________________________________
Robin Williams Flag Tribute
____________________________________________________ When my neighbor's son Billie came home from college for the summer, it only took him 2 seconds to recreate the "look and feel" of his dorm room. He opend his suitcase and his backpack, and rotated rapidly about three times. He used to be quite a snappy dresser in highschool, and his parents were quite disenchanted when they noticed that his dressing style had dropped to about the same level as the organization in his room. Over dinner, they tried to touch on the informal versus formal dress codes that life outside of college might require. Billie, however, shared his own firmly held dress code guidelines: 1. informal: sock (s) not required 2. semiformal: two socks required 3. formal: both socks must match ____________________________________________________ Several women were visiting an elderly friend who was ill. After awhile, they rose to leave and told her; "We will keep you in our prayers." "Just wash the dishes in the kitchen," the ailing woman said, "I can do my own praying." ____________________________________________________
These Dads are so cool!

Today on June 22
1558 - The French took the French town of Thioville from
the English. 

1611 - English explorer Henry Hudson, his son and several
other people were set adrift in present-day Hudson Bay by
mutineers. 

1772 - Slavery was outlawed in England. 

1807 - British seamen board the USS Chesapeake, a
provocation leading to the War of 1812. 

1815 - Napoleon Bonaparte abdicated a second time. 

1832 - J.I. Howe patented the pin machine. 

1870 - The U.S. Congress created the Department of Justice.


1874 - Dr. Andrew Taylor Still began the first known
practice of osteopathy. 

1909 - The first transcontinental auto race ended in
Seattle, WA. 

1911 - King George V of England was crowned. 

1915 - Austro-German forces occupied Lemberg on the Eastern
Front as the Russians retreat. 

1925 - France and Spain agreed to join forces against Abd
el Krim in Morocco. 

1933 - Germany became a one political party country when
Hitler banned parties other than the Nazis. 

1939 - The first U.S. water-ski tournament was held at
Jones Beach, on Long Island, New York. 

1940 - France and Germany signed an armistice at Compiegne,
on terms dictated by the Nazis. 

1941 - Under the codename Barbarossa, Germany invaded the
Soviet Union. 

1942 - A Japanese submarine shelled Fort Stevens at the
mouth of the Columbia River. 

1942 - In France, Pierre Laval declared "I wish for a
German victory". 

1942 - V-Mail, or Victory-Mail, was sent for the first
time. 

1944 - U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt signed the "GI
Bill of Rights" to provide broad benefits for veterans of
the war. 

1945 - During World War II, the battle for Okinawa
officially ended after 81 days. 

1946 - Jet airplanes were used to transport mail for the
first time. 

1956 - The battle for Algiers began as three buildings in
Casbah were blown up. 

1959 - Eddie Lubanski rolled 24 consecutive strikes in a
bowling tournament in Miami, FL. 

1964 - The U.S. Supreme Court voted that Henry Miller's
book, "Tropic of Cancer", could not be banned. 

1970 - U.S. President Richard Nixon signed an extension of
the Voting Rights Act of 1965. It required that the voting
age in the United States to be 18. 

1973 - Skylab astronauts splashed down safely in the
Pacific after a record 28 days in space. 

1974 - In Chicago, the Sears Tower Skydeck opened. (Willis
Tower) 

1978 - James W. Christy and Robert S. Harrington discovered
the only known moon of Pluto. The moon is named Charon. 

1980 - The Soviet Union announced a partial withdrawal of
its forces from Afghanistan. 

1989 - The government of Angola and the anti-Communist
rebels of the UNITA movement agreed to a formal truce in
their 14-year-old civil war. 

1990 - Checkpoint Charlie was dismantled in Berlin. 

1992 - The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled that hate-
crime laws that ban cross-burning and similar expressions
of racial bias violated free-speech rights. 

1998 - The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that evidence illegally
obtained by authorities could be used at revocation
hearings for a convicted criminal's parole. 

1998 - The 75th National Marbles Tournament began in
Wildwood, NJ. 

1999 - The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that persons with
remediable handicaps cannot claim discrimination in
employment under the Americans with Disability Act. 

2009 - Eastman Kodak Company announced that it would
discontinue sales of the Kodachrome Color Film.

2016  smiled.


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Searchable Log 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, June 21

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's International Bonehead Award: Pennsylvania parents give away 14 year old daughter in exchange for financial help. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, June 21, in 1989 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that burning the American flag as a form of political protest was protected by the First Amendment. More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) Where all think alike, no one thinks very much. --- Walter Lippmann A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. --- Milton Berle _____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Janet for this one: Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency room, where tests were performed to determine the source of the pain. My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was wrong. When the results came back, the nurse informed us that, true to our suspicions, he was suffering from a kidney stone. I turned to my husband and asked, "Would you like me to call the funeral home now?" With a scornful look, the nurse turned to me and snapped, "Ma'am, he's not THAT sick!"
http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
Last night a lady on the table next to mine in the restaurant asked the waiter if they had frozen yoghurt for desert. He replied: "We sure do, in all the popular flavors." Then she asked: "Is it low fat yoghurt?" The waiter answered: "It sure is! We serve only zero fat, low calory, diet yoghurt with fresh frozen fruit mixed in." She said: "Hmmm, that sounds delicious!" The waiter then asked her: "Would you like whipped cream on top of that?" Her reply was: "That sounds even better! Yes, please! Lots of it!" ______________________________________________________ While attending a marriage seminar on communication, David and his wife listened to the instructor declare: "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other. He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favourite flower?" David leaned over, touched his wife's arm and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose flour, isn't it?" ______________________________________________________ A good wife creates a balance. ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Pennsylvania parents give away 14 year old daughter in exchange for financial help. Daniel Stoltzfus, Savilla Stoltzfus, Lee Kaplan A Pennsylvania couple is accused of child endangerment after police said they gave away their 14-year-old daughter to a man who helped them financially. The friend has been charged with sexually assaulting the teen, who had two children with him. Officials acting on a tip Thursday found 51-year-old Lee Kaplan at his Feasterville home, along with 12 girls ranging in age from six months to 18 years. According to an affidavit, the girl's father, Daniel Stoltzfus, told an officer he gave his daughter to Kaplan after he helped the family out of financial ruin. He told police he thought it was legal after he did some research online. Kaplan faces a number of charges including statutory sexual assault and aggravated indecent assault. Daniel Stoltzfus is charged with conspiracy of statutory sexual assault and children endangerment. His wife, Savilla Stoltzfus, is charged with endangering the welfare of a child. All three are being held on $1 million bail. No lawyer information was listed in court documents. The girl, now 18, told police she and Kaplan have a 3-year- old and a six-month-old. "This child gave birth to two other children through an inappropriate relationship," Lower Southampton Police Lt. John Krimmel said. Krimmel said the Stoltzfuses told police they were Amish, and a criminal complaint shows their address as Quarryville, in Lancaster County. However, Krimmel said it appeared the couple had been living with Kaplan, although it was unclear for how long. The Stoltzfuses told police they were going to lose their farm until Kaplan "came out of the blue and saved them from financial ruin," said Bucks County District Attorney David Heckler. The couple told police the other nine girls in the house were their children, Krimmel said. No birth certificates or Social Security cards could be located to confirm they were the parents, he said. The children have been placed in child protective custody, Krimmel said. Investigators are still piecing together what exactly happened, Heckler said, including how Kaplan and the couple met each other. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wilson RE: Searchable Log Dear Webby, Dear Webby, I need a searchable log that does not cost an arm and a leg. It's just for typing in names and phone numbers and summaries of incoming phone calls. What would you recommend? W.Wilson Dear Wilson I use NoteTab from http://notetab.com It produces clean text, that you can import or paste into anythiung. It has lightning fast search, and you can even open multiple sub-windows side by side in the same window, not just multiple tabs. Copy-paste to and from spreadsheets and word processors works flawlessly. NoteTab does accurate sorting instantly, lets you toggle WordWrap on and off, and has enough features to write a book.I use probably 2% of all the features in it, but I know what to click on for the rest. Bulleted List? Justifying text, HTML, convert HTML to text, whatever. It is all there. They have a free and a very low cost version. I have used it for about 15 years and am quite happy with it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ The McGillicuddy's next door are inseparable. In fact, last night it took four state troopers and a dog to stop the fight. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Birds Out of the Garden By amy [5 Posts, 2 Comments] I love growing my summer garden in large containers. It's much easier to control the soil quality, fertilizer, and water. I keep them near my back door for easy reach from the kitchen. My only problem is that birds will not leave them alone. One perfect beautiful tomato after another pecked to pieces. My solution? I cut strips of low cost (I bought at my local Dollar Tree) silver metallic gift wrap and tied them to to the wooden tee pees that support the tomatoes. The birds seem frightened by them waving brightly in the sun. They have left the whole garden alone ever since. By Amy from MS Delta ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Mrs. Morris Siegel beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf Goodman's, pointed to white wool designer dress on a mannikin, and said, "Hey Sonny boy , so how much is the dress on that store dummy over there?" "That dress is $899.95, Madam," sneered the rather snotty salesman. "Oy! For $99.95 I could get the same dress at Klein's downtown!" "But Madam," said the salesman, "You'll find that the dress at Klein's is recycled wool. This original is 100% pure virgin wool." "Nu! So for $800 I should be caring what the sheep at night do?" ___________________________________________________
Robin Williams Flag Tribute
____________________________________________________ Isaac was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of smarts and common knowledge. He turned to his wife Sherry, with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest schmucks get the most attractive wives." Sherry replied, "Why thank you, dear!" ____________________________________________________ "Hey you! Pull over!" shouted the traffic cop. The lady complied, and the judge next day fined her twenty-five dollars. She went home in great anxiety lest her husband, who always examined her checkbook, should learn of the incident. Then inspiration struck and she marked the check stub, "One pullover, $25." ____________________________________________________
25 Awesome photos

Today on June 21
1404 Owain Glyndwr established a Welsh Parliament at 
Machynlleth and was crowned Prince of Wales.
1788 The U.S. Constitution went into effect when 
 New Hampshire became the ninth state to ratify it.
1834 Cyrus McCormick patented the first practical 
 mechanical reaper for farming. His invention allowed 
 farmers to more than double their crop size.
1859 Andrew Lanergan received the first rocket patent.
1913 Georgia Broadwick became the first woman to jump 
 from an airplane.
1941 German troops entered Russia on a front from the 
 Arctic to Black Sea.
1963 France announced that they were withdrawing from 
 the North Atlantic NATO fleet.
1989 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that burning the American 
 flag as a form of political protest was protected by the 
 First Amendment.
2004 SpaceShipOne, designed by Burt Rutan and piloted by 
 Mike Melvill, reached 328,491 feet above Earth in a 90 
 minute flight. The height is about 400 feet above the 
 distance scientists consider to be the boundary of space.
2016  smiled.


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