DSL speed dropping 




Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, October 16

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Arkansas man ate meth, pot during traffic 
stop and finked on himself

______________________________________________________
Today, October 16 in
1941 The Nazis advanced to within 60 miles of Moscow. Romanians
 entered Odessa, USSR, and began exterminating 150,000 Jews. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Two paradoxes are better than one; they may even suggest a solution. --- Edward Teller (1908 - 2003) ______________________________________________________ Keli: Anni, what exactly is an "oxymoron"? Anni: It's a phrase made up of contradictory terms, like "deafening silence". Keli: Oh, I get it. Like "Mr. Perfect"! ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture." The clerk looked at his picture closely. "It's okay," he reassured the man, "That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Wife: "Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish." Doctor: "Don't worry I can cure him." Wife: "I don't want him cured I want you to adjust him to get the movie channel." ______________________________________________________ The Stump, in the Tetons _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brian Lee Chadwell, 38, Bella Vista, Arkansas Arkansas Man Ate Meth, Pot During Traffic Stop and finked on himself A Pea Ridge man accused of beating his step-daughter with a spatula was arrested Monday (Oct. 8) after reportedly eating marijuana and methamphetamine during a traffic stop. Brian Lee Chadwell, 38, faces felony charges of two counts of possession of drug paraphernalia and tampering with physical evidence. Bella Vista police stopped Chadwell about 9 p.m. near Tanyard Creek for a broken brake light, according to a probable cause affidavit. Chadwell asked the officers for legal advice regarding a no contact order he’d received for allegedly hitting the girl, then said he’d eaten a small bag of marijuana and meth in order to destroy it, according to the affidavit. Chadwell added that he eats meth to get high, but doesn’t smoke or inject it. Chadwell asked officers to shoot him during processing, saying he was upset with himself. He said officers could say he tried to attack him, according to the affidavit. Chadwell was being held Thursday (Oct. 11) at the Benton County Jail on a $10,000 bond. He has a hearing set for Nov. 19 in Benton County Circuit Court. Chadwell is accused of beating his step-daughter with a spatula, a wooden spoon, and a stick covered in thorns, along with forcing her to sleep on the kitchen floor as punishment. He’s due Nov. 13 in Pea Ridge District Court on a misdemeanor charge of third-degree domestic battery. The girl’s mother, Jennifer Chadwell, was arrested in connection with permitting the abuse of a minor, a Class D felony. The report did not say what the teen required frequent punishment for, bhut she will be the responsibility of Child Services for the foreseeable future.
From: Barb Re: DSL speed dropping Dear Webby At home my connection speed keeps dropping to the point where I actually lose the connection. We use the same DSL provider as I have at work, but there the connection never drops. At home, it's OK when I am browsing, but if I am answering mail, especially if I get interrupted, it falls off. Is there a setting I should check and change? Thanks Barb Dear Barb Big Brother, the ISP, watches your activity, and if you are not really using your connection while you leisurely compose a lengthy email, they reduce your pipe and eventually cut it. They will gradually, and grudgingly, give it back to you when you are ready to send that email. You can use an FTP program that has a "Keep-Alive" feature to keep the connection open, and download three different pieces of music simultaneously when you need the connection again. You can watch how the 14 KB Keep-Alive speed cranks up to over 30 Mbps within a few seconds. You will then be able to use high speed until Big Brother detects that you have abandoned your computer and snuck off to the kitchen. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? Childrens' Views No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it always before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they're rich. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a dumpster.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate... what is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?" "Did you say 4?!?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Treat Credit Like Cash Make a commitment to pay as you go with credit cards this year. Don't wait until the last minute to buy gifts and plan your holiday budget carefully. You will feel much better during the holiday season if you aren't accumulating debt. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
What an amazing artist to see the animal spirit in stone and bring it out for the public!
___________________________________________________ I couldn't help overhearing a man at a nearby pay phone. "I know it's something you want," he said earnestly, "but I don't think tattoos are a good idea. And the same goes for body piercing. As long as you're living in my house, I think you should respect my wishes." I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly firmness. Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Mom, you're 75 years old! You don't NEED a tattoo!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from all of the refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously, "but it seems to me that I've blessed all this stuff before."

Today October 16 in
1701 The Collegiate School was founded in Killingworth, CT. The
school moved to New Haven in 1745 and changed its name to Yale
College. 

1793 During the French Revolution, Queen Marie Antoinette was
beheaded after being convicted of treason. 

1829 In Boston, MA, the first modern hotel in America opened. The
Tremont Hotel had 170 rooms that rented for $2 a day and included
four meals. 

1859 Abolitionist John Brown led a raid on Harper's Ferry, VA
(now located in West Virginia). 

1869 A hotel in Boston became the first in the U.S. to install
indoor plumbing. 

1916 Margaret Sanger opened the first birth control clinic in New
York City, NY. 

1923 Walt Disney contracted with M.J. Winkler to distribute the
Alice Comedies. This event is recognized as the start of the
Disney Company. 

1928 Marvin Pipkin received a patent for the frosted electric
light bulb. 

1941 The Nazis advanced to within 60 miles of Moscow. Romanians
entered Odessa, USSR, and began exterminating 150,000 Jews. 

1942 The ballet "Rodeo" premiered in New York City. 

1943 Chicago's new subway system was officially opened with a
ribbon cutting ceremony. 

1955 Mrs. Jules Lederer replaced Ruth Crowley in newspapers using
the name Ann Landers. 

1962 U.S. President Kennedy was informed that there were missile
bases in Cuba, beginning the Cuban missile crisis. 

1964 China detonated its first atomic bomb becoming the world's
fifth nuclear power. 

1967 NATO headquarters opened in Brussels. 

1970 Anwar Sadat was elected president of Egypt to succeed Gamal
Abdel Nassar. 

1973 Henry Kissinger and Le Duc Tho were named winners of the
Nobel Peace Prize. The Vietnamese official declined the award. 

1978 Poland's Karol Josef Wojtyla was elected Pope John Paul II. 

1982 China announced that it had successfully fired a ballistic
missile from a submarine. 

1987 Rescuers freed Jessica McClure from the abandoned well that
she had fallen into in Midland, TX. She was trapped for 58 hours.


1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush signed the Gramm-Rudman
budget reduction law that ordered federal programs be cut by
$16.1 billion. 

1993 The U.N. Security Council approved the deployment of U.S.
warships to enforce a blockade on Haiti to increase pressure on
the controlling military leaders. 

1994 German Chancellor Helmut Kohl was re-elected to a fourth
term. 

1997 Charles M. Schulz and his wife Jeannie announced that they
would give $1 million toward the construction of a D-Day memorial
to be placed in Virginia. 

2000 It was announced that Chevron Corp. would be buying Texaco
Inc. for $35 billion. The combined company was called Chevron
Texaco Corp. and became the 4th largest oil company in the world.


2002 It was reported that North Korea had told the U.S. that it
had a secret nuclear weapons program in violation of an 1994
agreement with the U.S. 

2002 The Arthur Andersen accounting firm was sentenced to five
years probation and fined $500,000 for obstructing a federeal
investigation of the energy company Enron. 

2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 billion television
episodes sold.

2018  smiled.


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Using a phone as a scanner 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, October 15

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Husband divorces wife after spotting her 
with another man on Google Maps

______________________________________________________
Today, October 15 in
1860 Grace Bedell, 11 years old, wrote a letter to presidential
candidate Abraham Lincoln. The letter stated that Lincoln would
look better if he would grow a beard. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes. --- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004) If you believe everything you read, better not read. --- Japanese Proverb ______________________________________________________ A church was preparing for Christmas services. The pastor decided he wanted a banner made for the entryway and had a parishioner call the sign company. The parishioner told the man on the phone the message he wanted and the dimensions needed for the entryway. The sign came back a few days later... "Unto Mary Jesus was born, six feet long and two feet wide." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After my fifth-graders studied the history of the Alamo, I gave them a test with this bonus question: "What was the famous battle cry that later helped spur on independence for Texans?" One student's response: "Remember the alimony!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The family had spent the day moving from their farmhouse into a new apartment house in town. Very early the next morning, the 5 1/2 -year-old ran into their bedroom to wake them up. Mom dressed him and told him to play and let them rest for a while longer. About 20 minutes later, he came running back."Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "Everybody has doorbells.... and they all work!" ______________________________________________________ Gullible Warming broke! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Divorcee Lima Peru Husband divorces wife after spotting her with another man on Google Maps The man was checking the best way to get to a bridge in the Peruvian capital city of Lima when he spotted a familiar figure, a news agency claims. He saw a woman sitting on a bench stroking the hair of a man who was lying with his head in her lap. He first recognised that the woman’s clothes were identical to those of his wife and then looked closer and realised it was her, according to local media. The photo, taken by a Google camera car, dated back to 2013 but the man confronted his wife with the Google Street View picture as evidence of her infidelity. And the couple, whose names have not been revealed, later divorced after the woman admitted to having had an affair. She was photographed with her lover on a bench by the city’s Puente de los Suspiros de Barranco – Bridge of Sighs of the Ravine. The man recently shared the photographs on Facebook where they made a big impression on users. San Pateste said: ‘What a small world it is… It would have been enough if she said to her husband that she did not love him any more.’ The photograph is one of a long line of bizarre images taken for the Google Maps and Google Street View online resources. They include people dressed as pigeons, an escaped convict, a couple having sex by their car, street robberies, and a woman giving birth.
From: Neil Re: Phone Scanner Dear Webby If Eva has a smart phone she can get a free scanner app from both google play store or a similar one for an I Phone. It will convert the picture to a pdf file suitable for email at no cost. I do this all the time. My scanner sits in the corner collecting dust. Neil Dear Neil Thanks for that info! Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates really well and I just act like I'm listening!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
We have a new kid in the office named Brian. Nice guy. Fresh out of college. So I was asking him about school the other day and he told me he belonged to a fraternity called Delta Upsilon. "Did you pledge in college?" he asked. I said, "Yeah, I belonged to 'I Tappa Kegga.'" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Organizing Email I treat email just like paper and don't let email pile up in my in box. I make sure I file all email into one of the folders I have created. I also create filters that automatically files email from certain people in the appropriate folder. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Photos of dogs enjoying Autumn.
___________________________________________________ A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be held against you, you don't have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss gramma." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
After a long day of listening to a Texan brag, a New Yorker decided to show the Texan the Empire State Building. When the Texan put down New York's well-known landmark by saying "Heck, that's nothing. In Texas, we have outhouses bigger than that!" The New Yorker responded, "You need them!"

Today October 15 in
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte began his exile on the remote island of
St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean. 

1860 Grace Bedell, 11 years old, wrote a letter to presidential
candidate Abraham Lincoln. The letter stated that Lincoln would
look better if he would grow a beard. 

1883 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down part of the Civil Rights
Act of 1875. It allowed for individuals and corporations to
discriminate based on race. 

1892 The U.S. government announced that the land in the western
Montana was open to settlers. The 1.8 million acres were bought
from the Crow Indians for 50 cents per acre. 

1945 Pierre Laval, the former premier of Vichy France, was
executed for treason. 

1946 Hermann Goering, a Nazi war criminal and founder of the
Gestapo, poisoned himself just hours before his scheduled
execution. 

1953 "Teahouse of the August Moon" opened on Broadway. It ran for
1,027 performances. 

1964 It was announced that Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev had
been removed from power. He was replaced with Alexei N. Kosygin. 

1983 U.S. Marines killed five snipers who had pinned them down in
Beirut International Airport. 

1984 The Freedom of Information Act was passed. 

1989 South African officials released eight prominent political
prisoners. 

1989 Wayne Gretzky, while playing for the Los Angeles Kings,
surpassed Gordie Howe's NHL scoring record of 1,850 career
points. 

1993 U.S. President Clinton sent warships to enforce trade
sanctions that had been imposed on Haitian military rulers. 

1993 South Africa's President F.W. de Klerk and African National
Congress President Nelson Mandela were named winners of the Nobel
Peace Prize for their efforts to end the apartheid system in
South Africa. 

1997 British Royal Air Force pilot Andy Green broke the land-
speed record by driving a jet-powered car faster than the speed
of sound. 

1997 The Cassini-Huygens mission was launched from Cape
Canaveral, FL. On January 14, 2005, a probe sent back pictures of
Saturn's moon Titan during and after landing. 

1998 The U.N. condemned the U.S. economic embargo on Cuba for the
seventh year in a row. 

2001 NASA's Galileo spacecraft passed within 112 miles of
Jupiter's moon Io. 

2011 Legoland Florida opened in Winter Haven, Florida. 

2018  smiled.


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Cheap scanner 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, October 14

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Ontario school teacher charged with 
sexually assaulting 10-year-old boy

______________________________________________________
Today, October 14 in
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman
forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of
England. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way. --- Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967) ______________________________________________________ Every revolutionary idea - in science, politics, art, or whatever - evokes three stages of reaction in a hearer: 1. It is completely impossible - don't waste my time. 2. It is possible, but it is not worth doing. 3. I said it was a good idea all along ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed I hadn't once lit up a cigarette. "Are you trying to kick the habit?" she asked. "No," I replied. "I have a cold, and I don't smoke when I'm not feeling well." "You know," she observed, "you'd probably live longer if you were sick more often." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ From ghoulies and ghosties and long leggety beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver them to us! ______________________________________________________ Fetch! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Krystal Wilson, 31 Ajax, Ontario Canadian school teacher charged with sexually assaulting 10-year-old boy Krystal Wilson, 31, was arrested by Canadian police after they investigated allegations made in relation to her job at Da Vinci Public School in Ajax, Ontario. The married teacher is accused of having an inappropriate relationship with a boy while she was teaching there from 2017 – 18, CTV reported. Wilson, who currently works at Roland Michener Public School, in Ajax, faces two counts of sexual assault and two counts of sexual interference. Durham District School Board confirmed a teacher had been put on leave. It said in a statement: ‘The DDSB is cooperating with the Durham Children’s Aid Society and the Durham Regional Police Service during their respective investigations. ‘We will continue to work with our community partners until this investigation is concluded.’ Wilson has worked as a model and singer in the past and has been featured in a promo for a radio station. She previously spoke about her love of teaching and music with website Smart Is So Sexy. Wilson said: ‘I am blessed to be an elementary school teacher. ‘Which allows me to not only impact our youth but share with them my passion for the arts.’ CTV added the teacher may also be known to students as Krystal Clunis and there were reports her singing name was Krystal Voice. Constable George Tudos urged anyone who had information to contact their regional police sexual assault unit. Wilson has been released on bail but as a condition she is not allowed to be in the presence of someone under 14 unless there is an adult aged at least 21 with them.
From: Eva Re: Scanner Dear Webby I need a new scanner. My old one left with my ex. I don't need to scan very often, maybe once every second or third month, just my prescription before faxing it to Costco. I never have to scan color or high res. I do have a Dell color laser printer. What do you recommend, that is just barely good enough but cheap? Eva Dear Eva I would recommend a Canon Pixma MG 3000 series. It is actually a printer combo, but because of their ridiculous ink cost, you would not want to use it for printing after the initial set-up. Because of the ink racket, they almost pay you to take the printer. With some looking around you can find them for under $30. I got one about 6 months ago for under $30 from NewEgg. Shipping included. I printed 2 pages during the setup, and none since. It theoretically communicates with the computer wia WiFi, but in my case it wouldn't do that without a lot of farting around. So I just used a USB cable and connected it to a machine, that had a free USB port. That worked instantly. My ancient 90's PSP communicates with it and scanning anything is easy. It has a scan utility included, but I have not needed it. In PSP I hit ALT Fitq the scan preview pops up, I shorten or adjust the size, and hit the scan button. That is all there is to it. The scan picture then pops up and I can annotate it and fax it. I really doubt that there is a cheaper and easier solution available. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, "Just think, Fred, we are ten dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand." "Good," my dad quickly replied. "Wash it again!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The old town blacksmith realised he couldn't work so hard anymore. He picked out strong young Bill Deville to become his apprentice. The old fellow was impatient and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told Bill, "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard." Bill is looking for a new apprenticeship. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Gas Tip: Change Your Commuting Habits If at all possible, change your work start time to avoid gridlock. Stop and go traffic hurts your gas mileage. Try to arrange car pools with co-workers to share the cost of commuting to work. Walk, bike or use public transportation to your intended location whenever possible. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Tribes react to Polar Bear clip from BBC's Planet Earth.
___________________________________________________ The Polish were upset because of their bad reputation. A group of them got together and approached a conference of Americans, Germans, and Japanese and asked for help on this matter. An American replied, "You must do something so the world will respect you. The Japanese are known for their technology and the Germans are known for their resourcefulness. We Americans have had respect since we helped win the World War against the other two. See, you need to do something world-famous." A German added, "Yes, he's right. Why don't you find a place in this world in need of a bridge that no one has dared build, build it, come back to us, and we will help publicize it." With that, the Polish set off to build their bridge. They designed it and worked six months and finally completed it. They then went back to report it to the group. The bridge was a beautiful bridge but it had one flaw: it was erected in the middle of the Sahara Desert. An American said, "No, no. See, that is why you have your reputation. There is no need for a bridge in the middle of the desert. Now go and dismantle it, and find a more strategic spot to erect it." The Polish returned to the conference in two weeks. One of the Japanese said, "Two weeks! It only took you two weeks to dismantle that bridge and build a new one??? That is amazing!!" To which a Polish man replied, "Well, not exactly. When we returned to the bridge we couldn't dismantle it because there were all these Italians fishing off it." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
So this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Give me two single whiskies" "Sure" the bartender replies, "do you want them both now or one at a time?" "Oh, both now" replies the guy, "one's for me and one's for my little friend here" and with that the guy pulls a three inch tall man out of his shirt pocket. The Bartender looked at the little man in amazement and asked, "Can he drink?" "Sure" replied the guy and with that the three inch tall man supped back his whiskey. "That's amazing" replied the bartender, "what else can he do? Can he walk?" With that the guy flips a quarter down to the other end of the bar and asks the little fella to get it. Sure enough, he runs down the bar and retrieves the coin, picks it up and jogs back to the guy. "That really is amazing" replied the bartender, "Can he talk?" "Of course" says the guy, "Hey Jim, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you called that witch-doctor a Dumbocrat Wanker."

Today October 14 in
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman
forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of
England. 

1879 Thomas Edison signed an agreement with Jose D. Husbands for
the sale of Edison telephones in Chile. 

1887 Thomas Edison and George E. Gouraud reached an agreement for
the international marketing rights for the phonograph. 

1888 In England, Louis Le Prince filmed the experimental film
"Roundhay Garden Scene." It is the oldest surviving motion
picture. 

1912 Theodore Roosevelt was shot while campaigning in Milwaukee,
WI. Roosevelt's wound in the chest was not serious and he
continued with his planned speech. William Schrenk was captured
at the scene of the shooting. 

1922 Lieutenant Lester James Maitland set a new airplane speed
record when he reached a speed of 216.1 miles-per-hour. 

1926 The book "Winnie-the-Pooh," by A.A. Milne, made its debut. 

1928 The first televised wedding took place in Des Plains, IL.
James Fowlkes and Cora Dennison were married in a radio studio. 

1930 Ethel Merman debuted on Broadway in "Girl Crazy." 

1933 Nazi Germany announced that it was withdrawing from the
League of Nations. 

1936 The first SSB (Social Security Board) office opened in
Austin, TX. From this point, the Board's local office took over
the assigning of Social Security Numbers. 

1943 The Radio Corporation of America finalized the sale of the
NBC Blue radio network. Edward J. Noble paid $8 million for the
network that was renamed American Broadcasting Company. 

1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel committed suicide rather
than face execution after being accused of conspiring against
Adolf Hitler and the execution that would follow. 

1944 During World War II, the Second British Parachute Brigade
liberated the city of Athens. 

1947 Over Rogers Dry Lake in Southern California, pilot Chuck
Yeager flew the Bell X-1 rocket plane and became the first
American to break the sound barrier. 

1954 C.B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments", starring Charlton
Heston, began filming in Egypt. The epic had a cast of 25,000
people. 

1960 U.S. presidential candidate John F. Kennedy first suggested
the idea of a Peace Corps. 

1961 "How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying" opened on
Broadway. 

1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis began. It was on this day that U.S.
intelligence personnel analyzing data discovered Soviet medium-
range missile sites in Cuba. On October 22 U.S. President John F.
Kennedy announced that he had ordered the naval "quarantine" of
Cuba. 

1964 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was awarded the Nobel Peace
Prize for his non-violent resistance to racial prejudice in
America. He was the youngest person to receive the award. 

1968 The first live telecast to come from a manned U.S.
spacecraft was transmitted from Apollo 7. 

1970 Anwar el-Sadat became president of Egypt following the death
of President Nasser. 

1972 In Iraq, oil was struck for the first time just north of
Kirkuk. 

1986 Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev charged that the U.S.
wanted to "bleed the Soviet Union economically" with the arms
race in space. 

1987 Jessica McClure, 18 months old, fell down an abandoned well
in Midland, TX. The rescue took 58 hours. 

2002 Britain stripped power from the Catholic and Protestant
politicians of Northern Ireland. Britain resumed sole
responsibility for running Northern Ireland. 

2018  smiled.


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Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, October 13

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Naked Tweaker Desecrated A Baptismal Font

______________________________________________________
Today, October 13 in
1943 During World War II, Italy switched sides, signed an
armistice with the Allies and declared war on Germany. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. --- Isaac Newton (1642 - 1727) A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. --- Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971) ______________________________________________________ There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again. The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage at the opening carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'" The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play, he's practicing his line over and over again. Finally, the time comes. The curtain goes up, the actor walks onto the stage, and with great passion delivers the line, "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress." The theatre erupts. The audience is screaming with laughter, but the director is steaming! "You bloody fool!" he cries. "You have ruined me!" The actor is bewildered, "What happened, did I forget my line?" "No!" screams the director. "You forgot the rose!" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A Rabbi, a Monk, and a lawyer are riding down the road when their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. Spotting a farmhouse they walk over and tell the farmer they need a place to stay the night while they wait for a tow. "I've got room in the house for two of you but someones gonna have to sleep in the barn." says the farmer. The Rabbi say's, "I've no problem with that, I'll go." He leaves. Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the Rabbi is there. He says, "Sir there is a pig in that barn; in my religion pigs are unclean, I cannot sleep under the same roof with a pig." The Monk speaks up and says, "I have no problem with pigs I'll go sleep in the barn." He leaves. Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the Monk is there. "Sir there is a cow in that barn; in my religion cows are sacred, I cannot sleep under the same roof with a cow. The lawyer responds, "I'll go sleep in the barn, I've got no religion." He leaves. Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the pig and the cow are standing there. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ 1. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity. 2. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 A.M. It could be a right number. 3. Think about this: No one ever says, "It's only a game," when his team is winning. 4. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a Nap. 5. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it. 6. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket. 7. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!) 8. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo. 9. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead. 10. No one ever ruined their eyes from looking at the bright side of things. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Isiah Hayes, 19, Daireus Ice, 22, Memphis, Tennessee Men indicted after mom finds video of 9-month-old being raped Two Tennessee men accused of raping a 9-month-old child and recording it has been indicted by a grand jury, according to WREG. The child’s mother reported the incident to police after she found videos of the crime on a cell phone, according to the Shelby County District Attorney’s Office. The suspects were later identified by police as Isiah Hayes, 19, and Daireus Ice, 22. In one of those videos, authorities say, one of the suspects was nude from the waist down and was touching himself while standing near the little girl. In another, the man was seen performing sex acts on the child, police said. The DA’s office told WHBQ that Ice was the one filming while Hayes allegedly assaulted the child. The child’s mother found the videos Oct. 14, 2016. A WREG article from February 2018 stated the mother was able to identify one of the suspects using social media. She then took all the information she had gathered to the police. Hayes was indicted on the aggravated rape of a child and especially aggravated sexual exploitation of a minor. Ice was indicted on the aggravated rape of a child/ criminal responsibility for the conduct of another and especially aggravated sexual exploitation of a minor.
From: Carolyn Re: Why are thumbnails so bad? Dear Webby If Thumbnails are so bad, why do the paint programs lety you make them? Carolyn Dear Carolyn Unless you use weird formats, that don't work on the net, like .PDP or .PSD, you can not restore a picture to the original size. Thumbnails ARE valuable, the same way as icons are. You use them to link to the full size picture, but you can not restore the original picture from an icon. That reminds me of this story: There was a noisy and demanding family reunion going on in a restaurant. They kept demanding all kinds of extras and were a royal pain in the nuisance for the waiter. He kept his composure, thinking he woud get a decent tip. They gave him a one dollar tip. After that they asked him to take a picture of them and take special care because some were close to dying and would not be alive at the next reunion. He fussed around and make them stand at attention for five minutes, and moved some of them around for a better composition. Then he took 3 pictures, carefully cutting their heads off. Thumbnails are the same thing. You better save the original under one name and the thumbnail under a different name. Have FUN! DearWebby

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An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a farmer. "Look at it this way." he said finally. "How would your wife carry on if you should die?" "Well..." drawled the weather-beaten man, "I don't reckon that'd be any concern of mine -- as long as she pretends to behave herself while I'm alive."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A real smooth talker who prided himself on being the ladies man finally met his match one night. The man had just learned that his father only had days to live and that he would inherit over ten million dollars. Overjoyed at the promised wealth, he celebrated at the local bar, where he just happened to see a drop dead gorgeous long legged woman. Of course, he couldn't wait to work his charms on her and indeed she was so interested in him, they went back to his house together. The next day she became his soon-to-be rich stepmother. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Frugal Toys - Deck of Cards Kids can play Go Fish, War, Old Maid, Crazy Eights, Solitaire, and other simple games. Cards can also be used to build card houses or to do magic tricks. Check out a book of card games at the library and kids can entertain themselves for hours. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
How to exterminate rats on an Island.
___________________________________________________ Sherry the secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you" "Sherry honey, why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once." "Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not sterile." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
There are three religious truths: 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters

Today October 13 in
1775 The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction of a
naval fleet. 

1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in
Washington, DC. The building became known as the White House in
after it was renovated and whitewashed after the Canucks set it
on fire in the war of 1812. Hence the name WHITE house,

1812 American forces were defeated at the Battle of Queenstown
Heights. The British victory effectively ended a further U.S.
invasion of Canada. 

1843 B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded by Henry
Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY. 

1854 The state of Texas ratified a state constitution. 

1943 During World War II, Italy switched sides, signed an
armistice with the Allies and declared war on Germany. 

1944 American troops entered Aachen, Germany, during World War
II. 

1944 During World War II, British and Greek advance units landed
at Piraeus. 

1951 In Atlanta, GA, a football with a rubber covering was used
for the first time. Georgia Tech beat Louisiana State 25-7. 

1953 An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel Bagno. 

1981 Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as the
new president one week after Anwar Sadat was assassinated. 

1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow of
the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega. The US kidnapped him
and brought him to the US for trial.

1992 A commercial flight record was set by an Air France
supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours and one
minute. 

1995 Walt Disney World Resort admitted its 500-millionth guest. 

1999 The U.S. Senate rejected the ratification of the
Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (CTBT). 

2010 Near Copiapó, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground in
San José Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days underground.


2018  smiled.


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Thumbnails instead of originals: Bad idea 




Good Morning, !

Today is Friday, October 12
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Thank you Norm!
I really appreciate your help!


home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Naked Tweaker Desecrated A Baptismal Font

______________________________________________________
Today, October 12 in
1492 Christopher Columbus, an Italian explorer, sighted Watling
Island in the Bahamas. He believed that he had found Asia while
attempting to find a Western ocean route to India. The same day
he claimed the land for Isabella and Ferdinand of Spain. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it. --- Mary Chase (1887 - 1973), Dream as if you'll live forever; Live as if you'll die today. --- James Dean ______________________________________________________ Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!" "IMPOSSIBLE !" said the groom broom. WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!!! ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Vickey for this story: This cowboy was out looking for a job one day. He stopped at a ranchers house to ask the rancher for a job. This rancher looks over the cowboy and thinks to himself, "Waal, he looks ok, 10 gallon hat, denim shirt, denim pants but he's wearing tennis shoes. Guess I'll see what he can do." So the rancher tells the cowboy. "OK, let's see what you can do. Go rope that calf over there and brand it." The cowboy has the calf branded before the little doggie knows what hit him. Well, the rancher is a bit impressed but still not too sure so he gives him another test. "Now break that there bronc", he points to a wild looking stallion in a corral. This cowboy saddles, and rides the bronc, wildest ride you've ever seen. After 5 minutes the bronc is so tired he settles down and the cowboy hand the rancher a tame horse. This rancher is IMPRESSED now. "OK, son you got the job. There's just one question I gotta ask you. You rope and ride real well and you look mostly like a cowboy except for them tennis shoes. Why don't you wear cowboy boots instead of tennis shoes?" The cowboy looks the rancher in the eye and says, "I would wear cowboy boots, but then people would think I was a gay trucker!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Boudreaux and Rodrigue are out in one of Louisiana's Cajun country swamps when Rodrigue falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. Boudreaux takes out his cell phone and calls 911 for help. "My friend is dead. He jus' pass out. What can I do?" The operator says in a calm soothing voice, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a long silence, then the operator hears a shot. Boudreaux's voice comes back on the line. "Otay," he says. "Now what?" ______________________________________________________ Appalachian Mountains, NC _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Zachary Burdick, 21, Mandan, North Dakota Naked Tweaker Desecrated A Baptismal Font A North Dakota man tweaking on meth yesterday stripped off his clothes and went into a church’s baptismal font before emerging to walk toward the altar while masturbating, an affront witnessed by 75 individuals attending mass, according to a probable cause affidavit. The 9 AM mass Tuesday at Spirit of Life Church was interrupted when Zachary Burdick, 21, appeared in the entryway of the Roman Catholic church in Mandan, a city about five miles from Bismarck. A female church employee called police after Burdick disrobed and entered the font, where he was “masturbating facing the altar.” Burdick, she added, then “began walking down the aisle toward the altar while still masturbating.” Witness Darrell Kilzer, 68, told police that Burdick began to “splash around” in the “Holy Water fountain.” Kilzer added that Burdick later “entered the sanctuary with his ‘machinery’ hanging out and was ‘pumping’ himself.” Father Todd Kreitinger, who was conducting mass when Burdick arrived, said that the intruder “dipped his rear-end into the Holy Water fountain and splashed around a bit before entering the sanctuary while masturbating.” The priest added that the font would have to be cleaned and sanitized, a process that would cost the church about $500. When confronted by police, Burdick reportedly said that he was “tweaking” on meth and admitted to using hashish oil. Burdick, Officer Nicholas Pynnonen reported, “appeared to be under drug influence.” When the patrolman noted that he could not masturbate in public, Burdick replied, “Especially in church.” Burdick then reportedly declared that he was “trying to bust a nut” inside the church. Burdick was charged with felony indecent exposure and disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor. He made his initial appearance this afternoon in Morton County District Court. While often a misdemeanor, Burdick’s alleged indecent exposure was charged as a felony because it occurred within 50 feet of “where private religious instruction is given to children aged 3- 9.” No children attending the church’s educational program saw Burdick’s antics, however.
From: Carolyn Re: Thumbnails to save disk space Dear Webby I have heard that it takes a lot of space on my computer to have pictures of family and friends in folders and that I should make thumbnails instead. Is this true? Thanks. I enjoy your Humor Letter very much. Carolyn Dear Carolyn Whoever told you that nonsense, should be put on a strict diet of Smarties, and should not allowed out of the funny farm without competent supervision. There is probably a lot of useless stuff on your computer, that can be dumped, and replaced if needed. However, pictures of your friends and family can not be replaced. They have more rights to be on your computer and on your back-up than ANY of the replaceable crap. Especially silly games that can be downloaded again. You can always get a second hard drive cheap. But pictures of friends and relatives are not replaceable. I make thumbnails IN ADDITION to the regular size pictures, to make menuing and sorting easier, but I never reduce good pictures to thumbnail size without also keeping them in original or at least regular size. Have FUN! DearWebby

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Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven ... don't step on the ducks. When you step on a duck, they all start quacking and make one hell of a racket." So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck, and along come St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same punishment as the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, tan, muscular, and with good hair. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" And the guy says, "Well, I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet. He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning up that horse manure, I'll eat every chunk of it." She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?" The Salesman says, "why do you ask?" She says, "They have the electricity turned off, because I have not paid for three months and called them a bunch of @#$%^&*." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Store Extra Measuring Cups with Ingredients I have extra measuring cups and spoons and I put the appropriate measure into the container for items like flours, sugars, oatmeal, etc., and leave them there. Saves time and washing, and extra mess because I can keep the bowls over the container while measuring. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Shirk Report for Friday
___________________________________________________ A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she accidentally breaks wind. Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident. She turns and sees that standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day Ma'am. How may I help you today?" Very uncomfortable she asks, "Sir how much does this rug cost?" He answers, "Lady, you farted just touching it. You're gonna really mess your drawers when you hear the price." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Sammy, a little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," Sammy responded immediately. His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," Sammy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

Today October 12 in
1492 Christopher Columbus, an Italian explorer, sighted Watling
Island in the Bahamas. He believed that he had found Asia while
attempting to find a Western ocean route to India. The same day
he claimed the land for Isabella and Ferdinand of Spain. 

1792 The first monument honoring Christopher Columbus was
dedicated in Baltimore, MD. 

1810 Bavarian Crown Prince Ludwig married Princess Therese of
Saxony-Hildburghausen. The royalty invited the public to attend
the event which became an annual celebration that later became
known as Oktoberfest. 

1892 In celebration of the 400th anniversary of the Columbus
landing the original version of the Pledge of Allegiance was
first recited in public schools. 

1915 Former U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt criticized U.S.
citizens who identified themselves by dual nationalities. 

1920 Construction of the Holland Tunnel began. It opened on
November 13, 1927. The tunnel links Jersey City, NJ and New York
City, NY. 

1933 The U.S. Department of Justice acquired Alcatraz Island from
the U.S. Army. 

1942 During World War II, Attorney General Francis Biddle
announced that Italian nationals in the United States would no
longer be considered enemy aliens. 

1960 Soviet premier Nikita Khrushchev pounded a shoe on his desk
during a dispute at a U.N. General Assembly. 

1964 The Soviet Union launched Voskhod 1 into orbit around the
Earth. It was the first space flight to have a multi-person crew
and the first flight to be performed without space suits. 

1972 During the Vietnam War, a racial brawl broke out aboard the
U.S. aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. Nearly 50 sailors were injured.


1976 China announced that Hua Guo-feng was named to succeed the
late Mao Tse-tung as chairman of the Communist Party. 

1988 Federal prosecutors announced that the Sundstrand Corp.
would pay $115 million dollars to settle with the Pentagon for
overbilling airplane parts over a five-year period. 

1989 The U.S. House of Representatives approved a statutory
federal ban on the destruction of the American flag. 

1994 Haitian military leader Raoul Cedras was granted political
asylum by Panama. 

1994 The Magellan space probe ended its four-year mission to
Venus for the purpose of mapping. 

1997 The St. Francis Basilica and 15th-century bell tower above
Foligno city hall in Italy were damaged by 3 earthquakes. 

1998 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Online
Copyright Bill. 

1999 In Pakistan, Pervez Musharraf seized power in a bloodless
coup that toppled Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif. The Supreme Court
ruled that the coup was legal but insisted that a civilian
government be restored within three years. 

2001 A special episode of America's Most Wanted was aired that
focused on 22 wanted terrorists. The show was specifically
requested by U.S. President George W. Bush. 

2006 The Dow Jones industrial average advanced over 11,900 for
the first time. 

2015 It was announced that Dell was buying EMC for around $67
billion. 

2018  smiled.


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"Be Aware" hoax 




Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, October 11

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Springfield man arrested after posting 
Facebook video about how to remove 
an ankle monitor

______________________________________________________
Today, October 11 in
1984 American Kathryn D. Sullivan became the first female
astronaut to space walk. She was aboard the space shuttle
Challenger. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. --- Lucille Ball (1911 - 1989) ______________________________________________________ >From Wendy After my recent Prostate Exam, which was the most thorough I've ever had, the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in. As she shut the door, She asked me a question I didn't want to hear. She said; "Who Was That Guy? ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him. The called said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-1234. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone. Screeeech!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, "Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk," worth 70 points or none at all. One student , in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote: 1.) It is perfect formula for the child. 2.) It provides immunity against several diseases. 3.) It is always the right temperature. 4.) It is inexpensive. 5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa. 6.) It is always available as needed. And then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell indicating the end of the test rang, he wrote... 7.) It comes in cute containers. He got an A ______________________________________________________ Soputan,Indonesia Enough CO2 for a Million acres of rice _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dwayne White, Bonifay, Floriduh Florida Officer Charged With Selling Drugs Out of Squad Car Crime doesn't pay - especially when you're supposed to be working for the other side. Authorities say a police officer who worked for the Bonifay Police Department, located in the Florida panhandle, was arrested after allegedly selling opioids out of his marked squad car while in uniform. Officer Dwayne White was arrested while at the Bonifay Police Department by agents from the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, authorities said. The FDLE began its investigation of White last month after the Holmes County Sheriff's Office referred their suspicions to them. Undercover agents made a controlled purchase of opioid tablets from White while he was in uniform in his marked squad car. White also allegedly used his personal cell phone for sales. The officer was charged with selling a controlled substance and unlawful use of a two-way communications device. He is currently being held in the Walton County Jail.
From: Fred Re: Fwd.:Be Aware Dear Webby, Please read this. It is no joke. Here is the e-mail I was sent: Dear Friends: I know not all of you are women that I am sending this to, but am hoping you will share this with your wives, daughters, mothers, sisters, etc. Our world seems to be getting crazier by the day. Pipe bombs in mail boxes and sickos in parking lots with perfume. Be careful. I was approached yesterday afternoon aro und 5:30 PM in the Wal-Mart parking lot by two men asking what kind of perfume I .......... Dear Fred Forget it. That is an ancient hoax. You can read up on it. There is no gas that is so potent that it can knock you out with just the tiny amount that can be put into a stack of scratch cards. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Keli said, "I met the best-looking guy! He's gorgeous, but he doesn't say much. He's very quiet." Anni asked, "Did you check to see if he needs the battery replaced??"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A young woman meets her old, retired, parish priest and when he asks her how she is, she bursts out crying. "What's the matter child?" he asks. "Oh, Father," she says, "it's my boyfriend. He won't marry me because I'm Roman Catholic." "There, there child. Here's what you do. Explain to him the faith of the Church, the traditions, the ceremonies and the rites. That'll bring him around." Tearfully, the young woman says she'll try it. About a year later, they meet again, and again she bursts into tears when he asks how she is doing. "Is it your boyfriend, child?" he asks. "Yes, Father." "Did you explain about the Church as I suggested?" "Yes, Father," she says, "but that was the problem. He was so taken by it that he's now studying to be a priest." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Tennis Ball In The Garage Are you worried about a young driver (or yourself) driving through the back wall of you garage? Hang a tennis ball from the ceiling of the garage. Position the tennis ball to hit the windshield when the car is pulled in far enough. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The brief musical career of Norman Bates, aka Anthony Perkins.
___________________________________________________ A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams and wanted to know what he should do next. His mother suggested, "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?" He thought this was a great idea and arranged a date for the next weekend. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone. He moaned, "Oh, mom, the evening was a complete disaster." His mother said, "Why, didn't she come over?" And the young man said, "Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor." HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous." WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor." HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?" WIFE: "In the pool."

Today October 11 in
1776 During the American Revolution the first naval battle of
Lake Champlain was fought. The forces under Gen. Benedict Arnold
suffered heavy losses. 

1811 The Juliana, the first steam-powered ferryboat, was put into
operation by the inventor John Stevens. The ferry went between
New York City, NY, and Hoboken, NJ. 

1869 Thomas Edison filed for a patent on his first invention. The
electric machine was used for counting votes for the U.S.
Congress, however the Congress did not buy it. 

1881 David Henderson Houston patented the first roll film for
cameras. 

1890 The Daughters of the American Revolution was founded in
Washington, DC. 

1899 The Boer War began in South Africa between the British and
the Boers of the Transvaal and Orange Free State. 

1929 JCPenney opened a store in Milford, DE, making it a
nationwide company with stores in all 48 states. 

1932 In New York, the first telecast of a political campaign was
aired. 

1939 U.S. President Roosevelt was presented with a letter from
Albert Einstein that urged him to develop the U.S. atomic program
rapidly. 

1942 The Battle of Cape Esperance, during World War II, began in
the Solomons. 

1958 Pioneer 1, a lunar probe, was launched by the U.S. The probe
did not reach its destination and fell back to Earth and burned
up in the atmosphere. 

1968 Apollo 7 was launched by the U.S. The first manned Apollo
mission was the first in which live television broadcasts were
received from orbit. Wally Schirra, Don Fulton Eisele and R.
Walter Cunningham were the astronauts aboard. 

1975 Bill Clinton and Hillary Rodham were married in
Fayetteville, AR. 

1983 The last hand-cranked telephones in the U.S. went out of
service. The 440 telephone customers of Bryant Pond, ME, were
switched to direct-dial service. 

1984 American Kathryn D. Sullivan became the first female
astronaut to space walk. She was aboard the space shuttle
Challenger. 

1984 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) made his debut in the
National Hockey League (NHL) against the Boston Bruins. He scored
a goal on his first shot on his first NHL shift. 

1994 U.S. troops in Haiti took control of the National Palace. 

1994 Iraqi troops began moving away from the Kuwaiti border. 

1994 The Colorado Supreme Court declared that the anti-gay rights
measure in the state was unconstitutional. 

2018  smiled.


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Is Crap Cleaner OK? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, October 10

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Springfield man arrested after posting 
Facebook video about how to remove 
an ankle monitor

______________________________________________________
Today, October 10 in
1973 Fiji became independent after of nearly a 
century of British rule. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half the time. --- E. B. White (1899 - 1985) Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) ______________________________________________________ >From Myrna Men are good for only one thing! Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to my mother to complain. Trying to console me, my dad said that men are not all like this all the time. "Nonsense," I said. "Men are good for only one thing!" "Yes," my mother interjected, "but how often do you have to parallel park?" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "Doctor!" said the woman as she loudly bounced into the room, "I want you to tell me very frankly what's wrong with me." He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you." "First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds. Second, you should use about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist - the doctor's office is on the next floor...." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It´s too hot. It´s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin´ ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone," the guide said. "Unfortunately, it´s being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow." "We can´t be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can´t kiss the stupid stone." "Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you´ll have the same good fortune." "And I suppose you´ve kissed the stone," the woman scoffed. "No, ma´am," the frustrated guide said, "but I´ve sat on it!!!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dustin W. Burns, 33, Springfield, MO Springfield man arrested after posting Facebook video about how to remove an ankle monitor A Springfield man is in jail after authorities say he filmed himself using a butter knife and a screwdriver to remove an ankle monitor — then posted the video to Facebook. The July video referenced by investigators is still posted on what appears to be the Facebook page of Dustin W. Burns, 33. Court records show Burns pleaded guilty to violating a restraining order earlier this year and was placed on probation. "This is how you take an ankle bracelet off," says a voice in the video, "without breaking the circuit." A man in the video can be seen with his pants leg rolled up. He sticks the butter knife in and out of the device, before grabbing a utility tool to unscrew part of it. The man advises viewers to remove the ankle monitor without damaging it, thus avoiding thousands of dollars in fines. The video ends with the man fully removing the bracelet and holding it up to the camera. Authorities apparently believe this man is Burns. In subsequent posts, the Facebook account references trips to Utah, Boise, Idaho and Oregon. In August, the Facebook account posted a video of a man who looks like Burns walking through what appears to be a large marijuana farm with the caption: "Dream come true." Court records show several probation violations were filed this summer against Burns and a warrant for his arrest was issued. Online jail records show Burns has been in the Greene County Jail since Aug. 28. Burns was charged this week with tampering with electronic monitoring equipment, a felony, court records say.
From: Jerry Re: Is CrapCleaner safe Dear Webby, I sent you an E-Mail last week and did'nt recive any reply... So, Guess I'll thy again... Can you tell me anything about the CrapCleaner... I've downloaded it,from your site here...but I don't want to use it unless I know its safe... Well it delete my files and/or programs that are on my Desktop ??? Thank You for any info... --- Jerry --- Dear Jerry Crap Cleaner is perfectly safe. It will just delete useless crap. If you are using cookies to sign in at the bank and places like that, take the checkmark off the cookies. Then it will leave those alone. It will show you first what it has found that is useless crap. You can look that over and un-check stuff if you think you might need it. CrapCleaner will remember your preferences and next time not suggest anything that you had unchecked the last time. Quite often, if your machine slows down and gets close to stalling, running CrapCleaner will get things moving again and speed up the machine. Some people prefer the older versions of Crap cleaner, and I do too. The newer versions can be a bit too helpful unless you look at all the options and uncheck stuff, that you find unneccessary. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Just before their first long deployment two Navy buddies were talking about the stress of leaving their families. A senior officer, a veteran of many deployments, overheard the conversation and offered the following advice: "You must be sensitive to your wives' emotional needs," he said. "Never, ever, whistle while you pack!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Donate Old Magazines Give your old magazines to hospitals, nursing homes, senior centers, schools or clinics. Schools need magazines for research and for children to cut pictures out of. Anywhere there is a waiting room there are people hoping for something to read. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The brief musical career of Norman Bates, aka Anthony Perkins.
___________________________________________________ The new bride had spent two hours preparing her first break- fast. She sat down at the table, eagerly watching as her husband slowly savored each forkful. "How was it, Honey?" she asked when he'd finished. "Well," he began thoughtfully, wiping his lips, "you probably could have beaten the eggshells a little longer. But on the whole, it was a good start." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was going though. One day the girl was convinced that the pain on her left side was appendicitis. Her mother explained that the appendix is on the right. "So that's why it hurts to much," her daughter said. "My appendix is on the wrong side."

Today October 10 in
1845 The United States Naval Academy opened in Annapolis, MD. 

1865 The billiard ball was patented by John Wesley Hyatt. 

1886 The tuxedo dinner jacket made its U.S. debut in New York
City. 

1887 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Phonograph Company. 

1911 China's Manchu dynasty was overthrown by revolutionaries
under Sun Yat-sen. 

1913 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson triggered the explosion of the
Gamboa Dike that finished the construction of the Panama Canal. 

1933 Dreft, the first synthetic detergent, went on sale. 

1938 Nazi Germany completed its annexation of Czechoslovakia's
Sudetenland. 

1943 Chaing Kai-shek took the oath of office as the president of
China. 

1957 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower apologized to Komla
Agbeli Gbdemah, the finance minister of Ghana, after the official
had been refused service in a Dover, DE, restaurant. 

1959 Pan American World Airways announced the beginning of the
first global airline service. 

1963 A dam burst in Italy killing 3,000 people. 

1965 The Red Baron made his first appearance in the "Peanuts"
comic strip. 

1973 Fiji became independent after of nearly a century of British
rule. 

1984 The U.S. Congress passed the 2nd Boland Amendment which
outlawed solicitation of 3rd-party countries to support the
Contras. The amendment barred the use of funds available to CIA,
defense, or intelligence agencies for "supporting, directly or
indirectly, military or paramilitary operations in Nicaragua by
any nation, group, organization or individual." 

1987 Tom McClean finished rowing across the Atlantic Ocean. It
set the record at 54 days and 18 hours. 

1991 The United States cut all foreign aid to Haiti in reaction
to a military coup that forced President Jean-Claude Aristide
into exile. 

1994 Lt. Gen. Raoul Cedras resigned as Haiti's commander-in-chief
of the army and pledged to leave the country. 

1994 Iraq announced it was withdrawing its forces from the
Kuwaiti border. No signs of a pullback were observed. 

2003 Rush Limbaugh announced that he was addicted to painkillers
and that he was going to check into a rehab center. 

2010 In China, Canton Tower opened to the public. 

2018  smiled.


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Spam from "hackergroup" 





Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, October 9

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Another rape by 'repeat' illegal alien

______________________________________________________
Today, October 9 in
1989 The official Soviet news agency Tass reported an 
unidentified flying object. The report included a trio 
of tall aliens that had visited the city of Voronzh. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The higher the buildings, the lower the morals. --- Noel Coward (1899 - 1973) ______________________________________________________ The man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman. "No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of gold." She said she didn't believe him so she called the bar. "Hello," she said, "I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question: "Are your urinals covered in gold?" To which she heard the bartender said, "Hey, Clarence, I think we found the drunk who peed in your tuba!" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle. "That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the enemy, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang.'" "But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young (and gullible) recruit. The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this ... just go, 'Stabity Stab Stab.'" The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, an enemy soldier charges at him. The recruit points the broom. "Bangety Bang Bang!" The enemy falls dead. More enemies appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens. Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one enemy soldier walking slowly toward him. "Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit. The enemy keeps coming. "Bangety Bang Bang!" repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" It's no use. The enemy keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, mumbling "Tankety Tank Tank." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ "Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?" The father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right." "That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "but you could at least give it a try, couldn't you?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by April Calkins, 38, Cody Gotowala, 13, Choctaw, Oklahoma Mom arrested for bringing teenage son along with her to break-ins Police arrested 38-year-old April Calkins along with Cody Gotowala on burglary charges. Calkins, also facing a charge of contributing to the deliquency of a minor, accused of taking her 13-year-old son along with them on the crime spree. The 13-year-old boy told authorities he went with his mom multiple times, Taking items like little girls clothing and in one case bullets for a gun. The boy told police his mom had done more than a hundred burglaries in the eastern OKC metro. He says he stopped going with her when he realized what she was doing. And although Calkins and Gotowala are now in custody, officials say the investigation is not over yet. Officials with the Oklahoma County Sheriff’s Office say a child’s doll led them to a major burglary ring in Choctaw. Last month, deputies with the sheriff’s office discovered thousands of dollars worth of stolen items at a Choctaw home, near N.E. 36th and Choctaw Rd. According to a search warrant affidavit, deputies began their investigation into the home after a doll was seen online. On Sept. 4, a victim called the Oklahoma County Sheriff’s Office after noticing “a Cabbage Patch doll matching one stolen in the burglary was being sold on an online classified website.” Investigators say the victim spotted the doll for sale on ‘Letgo’ and was being sold by “Craft Pirate.” Ultimately, investigators were able to track down the seller. According to the search warrant affidavit, deputies attempted to speak with the seller and immediately noticed items that matched the description of other pieces of stolen property. Deputies were able to obtain a search warrant for the property and seized items like hunting gear, power tools and video games.
From: Edith Re: Hacker threat Dear Webby, Lately I have gotten a lot of mail from a wanna-be hacker, with my address forged into the sender slot, threatening me with all kinds of problems, if I don't pay immediately. I know they are full of shit, but they are a nuisance. How do I block them? Edith Dear Edith With MailWasher that is easy. There are links to that on top and on the side. Send an email to yourself. That will show you the machine name and your IP number in the header. Make a filter with MailWasher that if the header contains [your address] and the header does not contain [your machine name]. and for the action select: delete automatically. That deletes those spams right on the server, without even showing them in the list. Sent to hell in the dark. You will never see those spams again, or any spam, that has your address forged into the sender slot. If you can't tell your machine name, send an email to me and I will read the header. Instead of the machine name you can also use your IP number. You can look that up at http://webby.com/ip Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Upon retiring from the service, Don, needed a new ID card showing he had gone from active duty to retirement status. But the photo taken of him was not particularly good and he wasn't at all quiet about it. "If I have to carry that ID around with me for the rest of my life," he complained to the photographer, "I want a better picture." "Want a better picture?" asked the photographer defiantly. "Then bring us a better face!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A salesman attending a meeting on the coast was held up when a severe storm and a flood washed out the local airport. He wired his office: "Delayed by storm. Send instructions." His boss wired back: "We'll answer your calls. Your vacation has been approved to start immediately." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com October Best Buys Plan your meals around items that tend to be cheaper in October. Here's a list of some of the best bets during October. Apples, Baking Goods, Beans, Beef, Beets, Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, Cauliflower, Chestnuts, Cranberries, Parsnips, Pears, Pork, Pumpkin, Scallops, Sweet Potatoes, Turkey, Turnips, and Winter Squash. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Take a guess as to what these knobbly balls were used for. It's a mystery to me!
___________________________________________________ One day a co-worker told my friend, Stan, that she was going home early because she didn't feel well. Since Stan was just getting over something himself, he wished her well and said he hoped it wasn't something he had given her. A fellow worker piped up, "I sure hope not. She has morning sickness." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Lincoln studied by the light of a fireplace. Mozart composed by candlelight. Galileo invented by oil lamp. Didn't they ever think to do their work during the daytime?

Today October 9 in
1635 Roger Williams, founder of Rhode Island, was banished from
Massachusetts because he had spoken out against punishments for
religious offenses and giving away land that belonged to the
Indians. Williams had founded Providence, Rhode Island as a place
for people to seek religious freedom. 

1776 A group of Spanish missionaries settled in what is now San
Francisco, CA. 

1781 The last major battle of the American Revolutionary War took
place in Yorktown, VA. The American forces, led by George
Washington, defeated the British troops under Lord Cornwallis. 

1812 During the War of 1812 American forces captured two British
brigs, the Detroit and the Caledonia. 

1855 Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor. 

1855 Joshua C. Stoddard received a patent for his calliope. 

1858 Mail service via stagecoach between San Francisco, CA, and
St. Louis, MO, began. 

1872 Aaron Montgomery started his mail order business with the
delivery of the first mail order catalog. The firm later became
Montgomery Wards. 

1876 Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Watson made their longest
telephone call to date. It was a distance of two miles. 

1888 The public was admitted to the Washington Monument for the
first time. 

1914 During World War I, German forces captured Antwerp, Belgium.


1930 Aviator Laura Ingalls landed in Glendale, CA, to complete
the first solo transcontinental flight across the U.S. by a
woman. 

1936 The first generator at Boulder Dam began transmitting
electricity to Los Angeles, CA. The name of the dam was later
changed to Hoover Dam. 

1940 St. Paul's Cathedral in London was bombed by the Nazis. The
dome was unharmed in the bombing. 

1946 "The Iceman Cometh" opened in New York City, NY. 

1946 The first electric blanket went on sale in Petersburg, VA. 

1975 Andrei Sakharov was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The
Soviet scientist is known as the "father of the hydrogen bomb." 

1986 U.S. District Judge Harry E. Claiborne became the fifth
federal official to be removed from office through impeachment.
The U.S. Senate convicted Claiborne of "high crimes and
misdemeanors." 

1986 The musical "Phantom of the Opera" by Andrew Lloyd Webber
opened in London. 

1989 The official Soviet news agency Tass reported an
unidentified flying object. The report included a trio of tall
aliens that had visited the city of Voronzh. 

1994 The U.S. sent troops and warships to the Persian Gulf in
response to Saddam Hussein sending thousands of troops and
hundreds of tanks toward the Kuwaiti border. 

1995 Saboteurs tinkered with a stretch of railroad track in
Arizona. An Amtrak train derailed killing one and injuring a
hundred. 

2000 Brett Hull (Dallas Stars) scored his 611th National Hockey
League (NHL) goal. The goal allowed him to pass his father, Bobby
Hull, on the all time scoring list bringing him to number 9. 

2003 Britain's Queen Elizabeth II knighted Roger Moore and made
Sting a CBE (Commander of the British Empire). 

2009 NASA launched the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing
Satellite (LCROSS). On November 13, it was announced that water
had been discovered in the planned impact plume on the moon. 

2018  smiled.


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WiFi Problem solved 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, October 8

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Another rape by ‘repeat’ illegal alien

______________________________________________________
Today, October 8 in
1950 U.N. forces crossed into North Korea from South Korea. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can. --- Margo Kaufman ______________________________________________________ A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two boys are playing hockey on the pond on Boston Common, when one is attacked by a vicious Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy took his hockey stick and managed to wedge it down the dog's collar and twist, luckily breaking the dog's neck and stopping its attack. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Bruins Fan Saves friend from Vicious Animal..." he starts writing in his notebook. "But, I'm not a Bruins Fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we're in Boston, I just assumed you were," said the reporter and starts again. "Red Sox Fan Rescues Friend from Horrific attack..." he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Red Sox fan either!" The boy said. "I assumed everyone in Boston was either for the Bruins or the Red Sox. So, what team do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Yankees fan!" the child beamed. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes: "Little Bastard from New York Murders Beloved Family Pet." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A woman in her late forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob", where a small knob is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob." Fifteen years later, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems. First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them." The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts." She said, "Well, I guess that explains the goatee." ______________________________________________________ Happy Thanksgiving! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ever Martinez-Reyes, 24, Illegal from El Salvador Another rape by ‘repeat’ illegal alien Ever Martinez-Reyes, 24, from El Salvador, was ordered held without bail Saturday on rape, sexual assault and assault charges after allegedly following a woman home and knocking her out, Fox News reported. "When he assaulted her and knocked her out, he then proceeded to rape her", Nassau Police Commissioner Patrick Ryder said. "She woke up and he knocked her out again and viciously continued to assault her". Martinez-Reyes had previously been deported and reentered the U.S. illegally again in 2014.
From: Grandma Buttercup Re: Solve WiFi Problem Dear Webby, I would like to offer my advice to the person having trouble with the wifi in hotels. I too had that problem and I travel quite a bit, until I called the technician for the wifi service. I have a Sony Vaio and did not know there is a tiny button on the side front that has to be turned on for wifi to work. Haven't had a problem since. Grandma Buttercup Thanks Grandma Buttercup! Let's hope that will do the trick for Nofries! Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?" "Yes" the mother answered. "And how is your son now?" he asked. "I don't know and I don't care." she replied.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Anna gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to economy because she doesn't have a first class ticket. Anna replies, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the co-pilot. The co-pilot goes up to Anna and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the economy section. The head stewardess asks the co-pilot what he said to get her to move. The co-pilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't stopping in Jamaica". ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Costume: Bag Of Garbage Cut holes in the bottom of a large garbage bag for legs and two holes in the side of the bag for arms. Your head will stick out the top of the bag. Fill it with crumpled newspaper until it looks like a full garbage bag and tape it closed Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Take a guess as to what these knobbly balls were used for. It's a mystery to me!
___________________________________________________ A little Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall for the first time. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father. "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is". While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again, and a beautiful 24 year-old woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly "Son, go get your Mother." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today October 8 in
1895 The Berliner Gramophone Company was founded in Philadelphia,
PA. 

1915 During World War I, the Battle of Loos concluded. 

1918 U.S. Corporal Alvin C. York almost single-handedly killed 25
German soldiers and captured 132 in the Argonne Forest in
France.
York had originally tried to avoid being drafted as a
conscientious objector. After this event he was promoted to
sergeant and was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. 

1919 The first transcontinental air race in the U.S. began. 

1945 U.S. President Truman announced that only Britain and Canada
would be given the secret to the atomic bomb. Canada never built
an atomic bomb, because they figured that the Canadian
Government
was so screwed up, that nobody would dare attack Canada. They
were right. 

1950 U.N. forces crossed into North Korea from South Korea. 

1952 "The Complete Book of Etiquette" was published for the first
time. 

1966 The U.S. Government declared that LSD was dangerous and an
illegal substance. That made all the Hippies want to try it. 

1970 Soviet author Alexander Solzhenitsyn won the Nobel Prize for
literature. 

1981 U.S. President Reagan greeted former Presidents Carter, Ford
and Nixon to the White House. The group was preparing to leave
for Egypt to attend the funeral of Anwar Sadat. 

1982 In Poland, all labor organizations, including Solidarity,
were banned. 

1991 A slave burial site was found by construction workers in
lower Manhattan. The "Negro Burial Ground" had been closed in
1790. Over a dozen skeletons were found. 

1993 The U.S. government issued a report absolving the FBI of any
wrongdoing in its final assault in Waco, TX, on the Branch
Davidian compound. The fire that ended the siege killed as many
as 85 people. 

1998 Taliban forces attacked Iranian border posts. Iran said that
three border posts were destroyed before the Taliban forces were
forced to retreat. The Taliban of Afghanistan denied the event
occurred. 

1998 Canada and Netherlands were voted into the U.N. Security
Council. 

2001 Two Russian cosmonauts made the first spacewalk to be
conducted outside of the international space station without a
shuttle present. 

2002 A federal judge approved U.S. President George W. Bush's
request to reopen West Coast ports, to end a caustic 10-day labor
lockout. The lockout was costing the U.S. economy an estimated
$1
billion to $2 billion a day. 

2003 China announced that it would have a human crew orbit the
Earth briefly on October 15. 

2003 Vietnam and the United States reached a tentative agreement
that would allow the first commercial flights between the two
countries since the end of the Vietnam War. 

2003 It was announced that Vivendi Universal and General Electric
Co. had reached an agreement to merge. The name for the combined
company was NBC Universal. 

2003 Siegfried Fischbacher and his manager announced that the
"Siegfried and Roy" show at the Mirage was canceled permanently.
It was also said that if Roy Horn survived, after a tiger attack
on October 3, the duo would continue to work together. 

2004 The first-ever direct presidential elections were held in
Afghanistan. 

2018  smiled.


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WiFi Problems 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, October 7

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Illinois man arrested for paying court fines 
using stolen credit card info

______________________________________________________
Today, October 7 in
2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor 
in the recall election of Governor Gray Davis. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The entire economy of the Western world is built on things that cause cancer. --- From the 1985 movie "Bliss" Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards. --- Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988) ______________________________________________________ After the christening of his baby brother in church, little five-year-old Johnny sat in the back seat, unusually quite. Very softly he started to cry until his father noticed him sobbing. "What's wrong, little Johnny?" asked his father. Between sniffles little Johnny replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a good Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys instead!" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. The classroom became a bit unruly and he admonished them. This happened several times. When he could do work at his desk, the strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging and rearranging the tie as the class raised its level of unruliness. Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up and took a big stapler off his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several places. Discipline was not a problem from that day forth. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The sheriff of a small town was also the town's animal Vet. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Auttonberry, 59, West Monroe, Louisiana Louisiana Man Tells Cops That A Ghost Planted Meth On Him After police found methamphetamine “in plain view” on a nightstand in his home, a Louisiana man claimed that a ghost placed the narcotics in his residence, according to an arrest report. Responding to a reported stabbing, sheriff’s deputies early yesterday encountered Michael Auttonberry, 59, at the door of his West Monroe residence. Auttonberry, seen at right, cursed at cops and “people who were obviously not there.” Deputies quickly determined that Auttonberry had not, as he claimed in a 911 call, been “stabbed on the head by an axe.” Nor were there any intruders inside his home. While making sure that Auttonberry’s residence was clear, a deputy spotted “in plain view on a night stand a open brown paper containing approximately 1 gram of suspected methamphetamine.” A subsequent search of Auttonberry yielded a pill bottle containing another gram of meth. Auttonberry surmised that a "ghost or intruders" placed the meth on him and were exiting the home through a nearby window. “Which was not accurate,” investigators noted. Auttonberry was arrested on a felony narcotics possession charge and a misdemeanor criminal mischief count. He is being held in the Ouachita Parish jail in lieu of $5000 bond.
From: Nofries Re: WiFi Problem Dear Webby, I tried to use my new laptop's wifi at two places this past week. Both places offered free wifi access and when I switched on the wi fi it detected the signal and connected. Then I could not surf, when I tried to open Internet Explorer I got the message, "IE cannot display this web page." I'm not too tech savvy and was embarrassed beyond belief that I could not figure this out. I have windows XP pro and ran the Network Diagnostics for Windows XP, and checked the Tools >Internet Options>Advanced>and made sure the SSL and TSL were enabled. Could it have been my firewall or security? I use free Zonealarm, Ad-aware, and AVG. I seem to recall Zonealarm asking to allow something and I said yes. I also use AOL, I know - my bad! I just tried to Google the error message with no luck. Is there a web site for dummies to get help with tech problems? I'm visually oriented and can figure out most things with written instructions. Do you have any advice or link to a problem solving site for dummies? Love your daily Humor letter! nofries ps--Still have dial up Internet at home, in SE USA. I will have to stick to dial up for 6-8 months or so, can you recommend an ISP? Dear Nofries Normally, with free or public WIFI you automatically get a browser screen from the WIFI provider, and you have to log in with the user name and password that is usually on a card on the table or posted somewhere. Sometimes you have to sign up and fill out your name and address and bra size and all kinds of demographic information. The rule there is: "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer." Just make up some stuff if it is too personal. Then you get a user name and password. Close the browser, and when you open it again with the log-on screen, use that user name and password. Until you log on, your browser doesn't go anywhere, except that log-on screen, and the WiFi signal strength will be very low. Don't be shy about asking staff how to log on. I ask, if the usual routine does not work, and I have logged onto WIFI at many hundreds of places. Usually the staff knows even less about it than you, but they will give you a number to call. The people at that support number will have you connected within seconds. Re a dial-up in SE USA, try Earthlink. I have sent hundreds of people to them, and all seem to be happy. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A teacher announced that to practice spelling, each member of the class would say what their father did for a living an then spell the occupation. A girl named Mary went first. "My dad is a baker, b-a-k-e-r, and if he were here, he would give each of us a cookie." Next came Tommy. "My dad is a banker,b-a-n-k-e-r, and if he were here, he'd give each of us a quarter." Third came Jimmy. "My dad is an electrician. But after struggling through a number of attempts to spell the word, the teacher asked him to sit and think about it for a moment while she called on someone else. She then turned to little Johnny. "My dad is a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e," Johnny said. "And if he were here, he'd lay you 8-to-5 that Jimmy ain't never gonna spell electrician!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A wealthy executive boarded a New York to Chicago train. He explained to the porter, "I'm a heavy sleeper, but I want you to be sure and wake me up at 3:00 am for the stop in Buffalo. I don't care what I say, you just make sure I get off in Buffalo." The next morning the executive woke up in Chicago. He was furious. He found the porter and really gave him an earful before hustling off to purchase a return ticket. After he left, a co-worker said to the porter, "How can you stand there and let that passenger abuse you like that?" "That's nothing," said the porter. "You should have heard the guy I kicked out in Buffalo!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Food Lost During a Power Outage If you have homeowners insurance, food that has to be thrown out during a power outage may be covered by your policy. Check with your insurance company to be sure. Some insurance policies will cover up to $500.00 per appliance if you provide a general list of what was lost and its replacement value. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
13 Things I found on the internet today 5-15-2018 by Messy Nessy.
___________________________________________________ There are three ways to get things done: 1) do it yourself 2) hire someone to do it 3) forbid your kids to do it ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today October 7 in
1765 Nine American colonies sent a total of 28 delegates to New
York City for the Stamp Act Congress. The delegates adopted the
"Declaration of Rights and Grievances." 

1777 During the American Revolution the second Battle of Saratoga
began. 

1913 For the first time, Henry Ford's entire Highland Park
automobile factory was run on a continuously moving assembly line
when the chassis was added to the process. 

1918 The Georgia Tech football team defeated Cumberland College
222-0. Georgia Tech carried the ball 978 yards and never threw a
pass. 

1949 The German Democratic Republic (East Germany) was formed. 

1950 The U.S.-led U.N. forces crossed the 38th parallel and
entered North Korea. China in November proved their threat to
enter the war by sending several hundred thousand troops over the
border into North Korea. 

1951 The Western Hills Hotel in Fort Worth, TX, became the first
hotel to feature all foam-rubber mattresses and pillows. 

1963 U.S. President Kennedy signed a nuclear test ban treaty with
Britain and the Soviet Union. 

1968 The Motion Picture Association of America adopted the film-
rating system that ranged for "G" to "X." 

1981 The Egyptian parliament, after the assassination of Anwar
Sadat, named Vice President Hosni Mubarak the next president of
Egypt. 

1985 The United States announced that it would no longer
automatically comply with World Court decisions. 

1989 In Budapest, Hungary's Communist Party renounced Marxism in
favor of democratic socialism. 

1993 U.S. President Clinton sent more troops, heavy armor, and
naval firepower to Somalia. 

1994 U.S. President Clinton dispatched an aircraft carrier to the
Persian Gulf when Iraqi troops were spotted moving toward Kuwait.
The U.S. Army was also put on alert. 

1998 The U.S. government filed an antitrust suit that alleged
Visa and MasterCard inhibit competition by preventing banks from
offering other cards. 

1999 American Home Products Corp. agreed to pay up to $4.83
billion to settle claims that the fen-phen diet drug caused
dangerous problems with heart valves. 

2000 Vojislav Kostunica took the oath of office as Yugoslavia's
first popularly elected president. 

2001 The U.S. Canada and Great Britain began airstrikes in
Afghanistan in response to that state's support of terrorism and
Osama bin Laden. The act was the first military action taken in
response to the terrorist attacks on the U.S. on September 11,
2001. 

2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor in
the recall election of Governor Gray Davis. 

2018  smiled.


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Email Substitute 





Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, October 6

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Illinois man arrested for paying court fines 
using stolen credit card info

______________________________________________________
Today, October 6 in
1848 The steamboat SS California left New York Harbor for San
Francisco via Cape Horn. The steamboat service arrived on
February 28, 1849. The trip took 4 months and 21 days. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues. --- Elizabeth Taylor (1932 - 2017) ______________________________________________________ >From Ann Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture. "Why don't you wait till your husband gets home?" someone asked. "I could," my mother told the group," but the couch is easier to move when he's not on it." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Kyle and Justin were sitting down to eat their supper with the baby sitter when 6 year old Kyle saw the baby sitter sit down in his daddy's seat. "You can't sit in Daddy's seat!" Kyle exclaimed. "Daddy's not home," the baby sitter replied, matter-of-factly. "Since I'm responsible for you while he's gone, I can sit here. Today I'm the boss." Justin, the 4 year old, quickly piped up, "If you're the boss, you have to sit over there in Mommy's chair!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Peter A few years ago I went to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed that enough Germans would speak English so that I could at least get around. But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket inspector on the train. He punched my ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. I just nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested. When he had gone, an American woman soldier in the compartment leaned forward and asked if I spoke German. "No," I confessed. "Then that explains," she said, "why you didn't bat an eyelid when he told you that you were on the wrong train, going in the wrong direction, and that there was no scheduled stop for another hour." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brenton Thurman, 28, Naperville, Illinois Illinois man arrested for paying court fines using stolen credit card info Naperville man accused of using stolen credit card information to pay his court fines and those of several other people has been arrested on a felony identity theft charge, the DuPage County State’s Attorney’s Office said. Brenton Thurman, 28, of the 0 to 100 block of Olesen Drive, made multiple payments to the DuPage County Clerk’s Office in March using stolen credit card and bank information, a state’s attorney’s office news release said. The payments added up to about $6,000, the release said. Thurman also used the stolen information to pay the fines and fees of other people, keeping the cash they’d given him to pay their court debts, the release said. The clerk’s office discovered the fraud and notified the state’s attorney’s office. DuPage County Judge Joshua Dieden set Thurman’s bond at $100,000, and required that Thurman show that any money used for bail was not illegally obtained, the release said. “The behavior alleged against Mr. Thurman is outrageous and, if proven guilty, will not go unpunished,” State’s Attorney Robert Berlin said in the release. “In addition to allegedly victimizing several individuals, Mr. Thurman allegedly attempted to defraud our system of justice all while lining his pockets at the expense of others.”
From: Bill Re: Email Substitute Dear Webby, A lady asked "I want a toolbar so I can forward e-mail to without having to open outlook express. I am not to thrill with google toolbar." Any suggestions or remedies? Thanks, Bill Dear Bill I would recommend a steady diet of Smarties and competent supervision. To forward email without opening her email program she would have to delve deeper into spiritology than I want to venture. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Sandie for this story: A woman, her husband and their three rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a traffic light. The woman glanced over at the car next to them and noticed a blissfully happy mother with her baby daughter. Looking at her husband, she said, "As soon as I lose my weight from the last baby, I want to try for a daughter." The husband reached up to the dash, grabbed an open box of snacks and said, "Here. Have some cookies."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to JRC for this story: A Doctor in Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant "Garge, I am going hunting tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients". "Yes, sir!" answers Garge. The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: "So,Garge, How was your day?" Garge told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL." "Bravo Mate, and the second one?" asks the doctor. "The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir" says Garge. "Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor. "Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!'" "Tunderin' lard Jaysus, Garge, what did you do?" asks the doctor. "I put drops in her eyes. I don't remember what happened after that." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Clutter Control: 5 Minute Clean Up Have a family ritual: before anyone goes to bed, they clean up their belongings in the living and dining room. It only takes a few minutes. Items that sit out for too long become a part of the landscape. Daily maintenance is the key to clutter control. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
10 Most Beautiful Castles in Switzerland
___________________________________________________ There was this man who, many years ago, worked for a large business. That was his lifetime employment, but he wasn't happy there. He wanted to go into business for himself. He saved his money and finally had enough so that he could quit and start his own business. About two years later, I was on vacation and was going through the town where his business was located, so I stopped by for a visit. "Hey, John! I heard that the first year is the hardest for a new business." "Yeah, the first year was pretty rough, but we are doing pretty good now. In fact, I'm getting to where I only have to work half a day." "Wow, that's pretty nice. Maybe I should think about going into business for myself." "Yeah, and the nicest part of it is that it doesn't matter which twelve hours you work!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today October 6 in
1683 The first Mennonites arrived in America aboard the Concord.
The German and Dutch families settled in an area that is now a
neighborhood in Philadelphia, PA. 

1848 The steamboat SS California left New York Harbor for San
Francisco via Cape Horn. The steamboat service arrived on
February 28, 1849. The trip took 4 months and 21 days. 

1863 The first Turkish bath was opened in Brooklyn, NY, by Dr.
Charles Shepard. 

1866 The Reno Brothers pulled the first train robbery in America
near Seymour, IN. The got away with $10,000. 

1880 The National League kicked the Cincinnati Reds out for
selling beer. 

1889 In Paris, the Moulin Rouge opened its doors to the public
for the first time. 

1889 The Kinescope was exhibited by Thomas Edison. He had
patented the moving picture machine in 1887. 

1890 The Mormon Church was forced to outlaw polygamy. 

1928 War-torn China was reunited under the Nationalist leader
Chiang Kai-Shek. 

1939 Adolf Hitler denied any intention to wage war against
Britain and France in an address to Reichstag. 

1949 U.S. president Harry Truman signed the Mutual Defense
Assistance Act. The act provided $1.3 billion in the form of
military aid to NATO countries. 

1954 E.L. Lyon became the first male nurse for the U.S. Army. 

1961 U.S. president John F. Kennedy advised American families to
build or buy bomb shelters to protect them in the event of a
nuclear exchange with the Soviet Union. 

1973 Egypt and Syria attacked Israel in an attempt to win back
territory that had been lost in the third Arab-Israel war.
Support for Israel led to a devastating oil embargo against many
nations including the U.S. and Great Britain on October 17, 1973.
The war lasted 2 weeks. 

1979 Pope John Paul II became the first pontiff to visit the
White House. 

1991 Elizabeth Taylor married Larry Fortensky. The ceremony was
held at Michael Jackson's estate near Los Angeles, CA. It was
Taylor's 8th marriage and Fortensky's 3rd. 

2018  smiled.


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Does hosting make a difference with search engine ranking? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, October 5
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Florida Woman Ends Up Behind Bars 
After Robbery 911 "Prank" 

______________________________________________________
Today, October 4 in
1919 Enzo Ferrari debuted in his first race. He later founded the
Auto Avio Construzioni Ferrari, an independent manufacturing
company. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right. --- Laurens Van der Post As I grow older, I pay less attention to what people say. I just watch what they do. --- Andrew Carnegie The first marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. The second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. The third marriage is the triumph of stupidity. --- Liz Taylor ______________________________________________________ Wilbur got a job on the railways as a steward. For the first day he accompanied another steward to learn the ropes. "It's very simple," said his tutor, "Just use diplomacy." "What's diplomacy?" asked Wilbur. "Watch me I'll show you". Off they went down the train corridor, rattling compartment doors, opening them with special keys and offering tea or coffee. When the tutor steward flung open one door he was confronted with a buck naked woman. Without batting an eyelid he asked "Tea or coffee, sir?" The surprised woman took the cup of tea and he shut the door. "Wow, did you see that cutie!" Wilbur said excitedly. "She had no clothes on. But hey, why did you call her sir?" "That's diplomacy! I did not want to embarrass her". Wilbur was most impressed with his teacher. The next day, on his own now, he flung open a door to a compartment and found a couple making love on the bed. "Tea or coffee, sir?" "Tea" the man replied. "And for your brother?" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for ths story: The parents in our cycling group were discussing the subject of teenagers and their appetites. Most agreed that teenagers would eat anything, anywhere and at any time. Some were concerned that such appetites always made it hard to judge when you should feed them because they were always grazing. A veteran parent of six children told us of his method for judging the true hunger of teenagers. "I would hold up a piece of cold, cooked broccoli, and if they were jumping and snapping at it, I figured they were hungry enough to be fed." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Two boys were arguing when the preacher entered the room. The preacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the preacher, "When I was your age, I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the preacher. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Pedgie Georges, 22, Fort Pierce, Florida Florida Woman Ends Up Behind Bars After Robbery "Prank" While dining Saturday at a Florida café, Pedgie Georges thought it would be funny to send her boyfriend a text falsely claiming that people were robbing the restaurant. But what Georges, 22, did not anticipate when planning her prank was that her beau would call 911 to report that an armed robbery was in progress at Alabon Bakery, a Fort Pierce eatery specializing in Haitian cooking. After receiving the 911 call, cops raced to the restaurant, running red lights with their sirens blaring. With their weapons drawn, officers subsequently entered the business and discovered no crime in progress. But they did find Georges, who explained that she texted her boyfriend as a prank that people were robbing the restaurant, according to an arrest affidavit. Since she had created a dangerous environment that could have resulted in harm to police or members of the public, Georges was arrested for misuse of the 911 system, a misdemeanor.
From Frances Re: Search Engines Dear Webby, Does it make any dfference to the search engines where my site is hosted ? Frances Dear Frances Yes, it seems to make a huge difference. Spammers or similarly objectionable people prefer to use bargain web hosts, because they do get kicked out fairly soon anyway, and because bargain hosts are usually not as swift in detecting spammers or in kicking out a paying client. The big networks blacklist and block the IP numbers used by the spammers. Bargain web hosts put hundreds of sites onto the same IP number. All those sites are affected by blocks, blacklists and reputation. When a robot from a search engine comes by and your site is not available, it's just like a census taker coming by when you are not home. You don't count if you are not counted, and those, who ARE counted, bypass you in the ranking. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Dora for this Classic: During a friendly argument, my husband asked me why I married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," I teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, I requested an explanation. "People get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A couple have been married forty years and are revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. As they are driving through the secluded countryside, they pass a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road. The woman says, "Sweetheart, let's do the same thing we did here forty years ago!" The guy stops the car. His wife backs against the fence, and they make love like never before. Back in the car, the guys says, "Darlin', you sure never moved like that forty year ago -- or any time since that I can remember." The woman says, "Forty years ago that damn fence wasn't electrified!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Frugal Costume: A Pirate! Wear an old pair of jeans and roll them up to your knees. Add knee high socks, tights or a pair of long johns under the pants. Find a shirt that is a few sizes too big and then wear a belt or sash over the shirt so that is nice and baggy. Add an old pair of boots, an earring and an eye patch! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Let's travel to Bhutan, known for its vast expanses of untouched wilderness, deeply embedded Buddhist culture, and history steeped in tradition and legend.
___________________________________________________ Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture. "Why don't you wait till your husband gets home?" someone asked. "I could," my mother told the group," but the couch is easier to move when he's not on it." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today October 5 in

1813 Chief Tecumseh of the Shawnee Indians was killed at the
Battle of Thames when American forces defeated the British and
the allied Indian warriors. 

1877 Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce Indians surrendered to the
U.S. Army after a 1,000-mile retreat towards the Canadian border.


1919 Enzo Ferrari debuted in his first race. He later founded the
Auto Avio Construzioni Ferrari, an independent manufacturing
company. 

1930 Laura Ingalls became the first woman to make a
transcontinental airplane flight. 

1931 Clyde Pangborn and Hugh Herndon landed in Washington after
flying non-stop across the Pacific Ocean. The flight originated
in Japan and took about 41 hours. 

1937 U.S. President Roosevelt called for a "quarantine" of
aggressor nations. 

1947 U.S. President Harry S Truman held the first televised
presidential address from the White House. The subject was the
current international food crisis. 

1969 A Cuban defector landed a Soviet-made MiG-17 at Homestead
Air Force Base in Florida. The plane entered U.S. air space and
landed without being detected. 

1969 "Monty Python's Flying Circus" debuted on BBC television. 

1970 Anwar Sadat took office as President of Egypt replacing
Gamal Abdel Nassar. Sadat was assassinated in 1981. 

1974 American David Kunst completed the first journey around the
world on foot. It took four years and 21 pairs of shoes. He
crossed four continents and walked 14,450 miles. 

1985 An Egyptian policeman went on a shooting rampage at a Sinai
beach. Seven Israeli tourists were killed. The policeman died in
prison the following January of an apparent suicide. 

1986 Sandinista soldiers captured American Eugene Hasenfus after
shooting him down over southern Nicaragua. 

1988 In a debate between candidates for vice president of the
U.S., Democratic Lloyd Bentsen told Republican Dan Quayle,
"You're no Jack Kennedy." 

1989 The Dalai Lama (Lhama Dhondrub, Tenzin Gyatso) was named the
winner of the Nobel Peace Prize for his nonviolent campaign to
end the Chinese domination of Tibet. Gyatso was the 15th Dalai
Lama. 

1991 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev announced that his
country would cut its nuclear arsenal in response to the arms
reduction that was initiated by U.S. President George Bush. 

1993 China set off an underground nuclear explosion. 

1995 A 60-day cease-fire was agreed upon by Bonsian combatants.
The civil war had lasted 3 1/2 years. 

1997 In London, the Express Newspapers printed an article
claiming that Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were homosexual and
that their marriage was a sham to cover the truth. The paper paid
damages in a settlement on October 29, 1998. 

1998 The U.S. paid $60 million for Russia's research time on the
international space station to keep the cash-strapped Russian
space agency afloat. 

1999 MCI Worldcom Inc. and Sprint Corp. announced plans to merge.


2006 Walmart rolled out its $4 generic drug program to the entire
state of Florida after a successful test in the Tampa area. 

2018  smiled.


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What is so bad about RoboForm? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, October 4

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Brit who stabbed daughter in rage 
over ex’s new girlfriend is found guilty

______________________________________________________
Today, October 4 in
1535 The first complete English translation of the Bible 
was printed in Zurich, Switzerland. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. --- Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963 ______________________________________________________ A visitor to a college campus paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall. "It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway." "Actually," said the guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation." "Oh? Was Joshua Hemingway a writer also?" "Yes, indeed. He wrote a check." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dianne for this story: Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet... Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush.... _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A redneck had 3 daughters and one day, they all had a date on the same night. He decided to make sure that his daughters would be safe with the guys they were dating, he stayed out on the porch with a shotgun just to intimidate the guys into not trying anything. The first guy came up and said "Hi, My name is Joe, I take it slow, we're goin to a show, gotta go." The redneck thought he was an ok guy, so he let them go. About 5 minutes later, another guy came up and said, "My name is Bill, I live on the hill, we're goin to chill." The redneck thought he was cool, and let him go. About 5 minutes later, another guy came up and said, "My name is Chuck--" *BOOM!* ______________________________________________________ More help needed! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by William Billingham, 55 Birmingham England Britain who stabbed daughter in rage over ex’s new girlfriend is found guilty William Billingham, 55, used a kitchen knife to kill Mylee Billingham after dragging her by the coat into his bungalow – moments after holding the blade to the neck of her mother, Tracey Taundry. A trial at Birmingham Crown Court heard how Miss Taundry dialled 999 from outside Billingham’s house in Brownhills, near Walsall, telling operators to hurry as Mylee was screaming ‘stop it daddy’. Jurors deliberated for around 80 minutes before unanimously convicting Billingham of murder and a separate charge of making a threat to kill 34-year-old Miss Taundry. He will be sentenced tomorrow. The unemployed factory worker opted not to give evidence, claiming he had no memory of stabbing Mylee through the chest, and was guilty of the lesser offence of manslaughter due to depression. But prosecutors argued that Billingham ‘turned his anger’ on Mylee to spite Miss Taundry after she began a same-sex relationship.
From Ethian Re: What is so bad about RoboForm? Dear Webby, You used to recommend RoboForm since the 90s, but seem to be utterly disenchanted now. What happened? Ethian Dear Ethian Any company with people, who have a brain the size of one Smartie, have a method to recover a lost password. RoboForm, while implying that they keep your passwords safe for you, so that you did not have to write them on the wall, instituted a new system with a Master Password, that they don't remember, and that you can not recover. If the post-it-note with your MasterPassword accidentally gets lost, ALL of your passwords are trashed. Gone. Not recoverable. They started getting flakey even before they did that, but their evil Master Password lunacy totally ruined their once good reputation. If you have to write the Master Password onto the wall, for everybody to see, what is the point of using passwords? And paying the idiots for their totally useless program? If you don't want to use the password managing provided by your browser, look for one that does not have a not recoverable master password. Right now I just use the password managing included in Chrome. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
On the first day of school, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Jack One October my wife and I spent a vacation on Washington's Olympic Peninsula. We were eager to visit the rain forests near the coast, but we heard that snow slides had made some of the roads impassable. Although apprehensive about the conditions we might run into, we drove on. Sure enough, we had gone only a short way up the High Rain Forest road when we saw a sign: "Ice 10 miles." Five miles farther on there was another: "Ice 5 miles." The next one was: "Ice 1/2 mile." We practically crept that half-mile. We came to the last sign. It was outside a small grocery, and it read: "Ice 75 cents." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Deals At Cellphone Stores I ended up going directly to the store when looking for a new cellphone provider. They matched the deal I found online, plus gave me an addition rebate on each phone. They were also able to transfer my existing numbers, something that was not allowed with the online retailers offer. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Amazing artistic cycling tricks by Viola Brand.
___________________________________________________ >From Petra When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility between us. "So what changed your mind?" I asked him. "I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone who's 104?'" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
1535 The first complete English translation of the Bible was printed in Zurich, Switzerland. 1648 The first volunteer fire department was established in New York by Peter Stuyvesant. 1777 At Germantown, PA, Patriot forces and British forces both suffer heavy losses in battle. The battle was seen as British victory, which actually served as a moral boost to the Americans. 1876 AGGIES! The Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas formally dedicated by Texas Gov. Richard Coke. It was the state's first venture into public higher education. The college opened for classed two days earlier. 1881 Edward Leveaux received a patent for the player piano. 1909 The first airship race in the U.S. took place in St. Louis, MO. 1915 The Dinosaur National Monument was established. The area covered part of Utah and Colorado. 1927 The first actual work of carving began on Mount Rushmore. 1931 The comic strip "Dick Tracy" made its debut in the Detroit Daily Mirror. The strip was created by Chester Gould. 1933 "Esquire" magazine was published for the first time. 1940 Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini met in the Alps at Brenner Pass. Hitler was seeking help from Italy to fight the British. 1957 The Soviet Union launched Sputnik I into orbit around the Earth. Sputnik was the first manmade satellite to enter space. Sputnik I fell out of orbit on January 4, 1958. 1992 The 16-year civil war in Mozambique ended. 1993 Russian Vice-President Alexander Rutskoi and Chairman Ruslan Khasbulatov surrendered to Boris Yeltsin after a ten-hour tank assault on the Russian White House. The two men had barricaded themselves in after Yeltsin called for general elections and dissolved the legislative body. 1993 Dozens of Somalis dragged an American soldier through the streets of Mogadishu. A videotape showed Michael Durant being taken prisoner by Somali militants. 1994 South African President Nelson Mandela was welcomed to the White House by U.S. President Clinton. 1997 Hundreds of thousands of men attended a Promise Keepers rally on the Mall in Washington, DC. 1998 The Vincent Van Gogh exhibit opened in Washington, DC. The exhibit featured 70 paintings. 1998 Davis Gaines performed as the Phantom in the show "Phantom of the Opera" for the 2,000th time. 2001 NATO granted the United States open access to their airfields and seaports and agreed to deploy ships and early- warning radar planes in the war on terrorism. 2001 In Washington, DC, Reagan National Airport re-opened. The airport had been closed since the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. 2004 SpaceShipOne reached an altitude of 368,000 feet. It was the first privately built, manned rocket ship to fly in space twice within a two week window. The ship won the Ansari X Prize of $10 million dollars for their success. 2018 smiled.


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How to get rid of RoboForm 




Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, October 3

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Man arrested for human trafficking when 
teen escapes to restaurant

______________________________________________________
Today, October 3 in
1893 The motor-driven vacuum cleaner was patented by J.S.
Thurman. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had. --- I. F. Stone (1907 - 1989) What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left. --- Oscar Levant If marriage were outlawed, then only outlaws would have inlaws. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ >From Ben Discovering that I'd overslept, I abandoned my usual morning routine and rushed out. In the van, though, I realized I had time to stop for a take-out coffee. I got my coffee and returned to the van, only to find I had not only left it running but had locked it! The day was going from bad to worse. I returned to the shop, sheepishly explained my situation to the clerk and asked if I could borrow a broom. I managed to open a side window and pop the lock on the back door using the broom handle. When I returned the broom, the clerk said, "I know you're having a bad day, but..." "I know, I know," I interrupted. "You want to know how I can unlock my van with a broom." "No," she said. "I wanted to tell you that your shirt is on inside out." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ We had just finished eating a beautiful dinner that my mother had prepared for our family. As I glanced up at the chandelier over the table, I was mesmerized by the creative handiwork a spider had woven around the prisms and lightbulbs. "Don't look up there!" My mother screamed. "It's the one thing I was too tired to clean!" "Don't look where?" My brother asked. "There!" My mother pointed. "It's my own personal web sight!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ I know my company has made a big effort to be family friendly, but I was baffled when I read this holiday an- nouncement posted on the bulletin board: "All employees are invited to the annual Christmas party. All children under the age of ten will receive a gift from Santa. Employees who have no children may bring grandchildren." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Katherine Nieves-Tavarez, 27, Vero Beach Florida Fla woman arrested for slashing boyfriend when he refused to have sex with her After her boyfriend repeatedly declined to have sex with her, a Florida woman grabbed a kitchen knife and slashed him multiple times in the face, according to police who arrested the alleged attacker on a felony battery charge. In response to a 911 call about a disturbance at a Vero Beach apartment, cops arrived at the residence around 3:30 AM Thursday and encountered Katherine Nieves-Tavarez at the front door. Nieves-Tavarez, 27, had blood on her clothing and hands, an arrest affidavit notes. Inside the apartment, cops reported, Nieves-Tavarez’s boyfriend was spotted falling to the floor “with blood covering his face.” Asked what happened to him, the man replied, “She hit me with a knife. I can’t see.” The victim went on to tell officers that Nieves-Tavarez, his live-in girlfriend, had been drinking and "asked to have sex, which he declined." The man added that “after declining multiple times,” Nieves-Tavarez “became angry and started yelling at him.” Nieves-Tavarez then allegedly retrieved a “large, silver kitchen knife” and followed the man outside to the patio. There, Nieves- Tavarez allegedly slashed the victim with the knife. When police questioned the man, he had “multiple lacerations to his face,” a torn shirt, and “redness around his neck and chest area.” The victim was subsequently transported to a hospital for treatment of his injuries. Seen above, Nieves-Tavarez was arrested and booked into the county jail on a felony charge of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. She is being held in lieu of $15,000 bond and is scheduled for arraignment on October 31. A judge has ordered her to have no contact with the victim. Nieves-Tavarez was arrested in April 2017 on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge, but that case--which involved the same man--was eventually dismissed by prosecutors.
From Frank Re: Stop Roboform Dear Webby, Like you, I suffered a total RoboForm failure. I expected them to remember the Master Password. They didn't. They failed and took over 1000 passwords with them. Same as with you many of those passwords are ancient and no longer needed, but they destroyed all the new ones too. What a piece of @#$%^&*! And they are still sniveling about updating! Not bloody likely, Incompetent A**ho**s! How do I completely get rid of the useless piece of crap? Frank Dear Frank You are about as diplomatic as I was when they destroyed all of my passwords. Contact their support and tell them to cancel all of your accounts. Also check your auto-pay entries iun your PayPal. Then use REVO Uninstaller to get their crap off your machine. If you don't have it yet, it is at Revo Uninstaller Try the PRO Free Trial. It is not a 2 second fix, but it scans your entire machine and removes any trace of the crap. That takes a few minutes. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Jimmie, an 80-year-old gentleman, retired to Florida after his wife of 58 years had passed away. He was quite alone in the world and longed for companionship. One day, as he was walking through a public park, he spied what he considered to be a very pretty silver-haired lady sitting alone on a park bench. Getting his nerve up, he approached the lady and asked graciously, "Pardon me, ma'am, but may I sit here with you." The silver-haired Marcia looked up to see a distinguished looking white-haired gentleman and replied, "Why certainly," and scooted over gently to give him room to sit down. For the next two hours the two sat and talked about everything. They discovered that they came from the same part of the country, liked the same big band music, voted for the same presidential candidates, had long happy marriages and lost their spouses in the last year, and in general agreed about almost everything. Finally, the old gentleman cleared his throat and asked sheepishly, "Ma' am, may I ask you two questions?" With great anticipation Marcia replied, "Why certainly!" The old gentleman removed a handkerchief from his coat pocket and spread it out on the ground before her. He very gingerly got down on one knee and looked her softly in the eyes. "Marcia, I know we've only known each other for a couple of hours, but we have so much in common. I feel I have known you all my life. Will you marry me and be my wife?" Marcia grabbed at Jimmie's hands and said, "Why, yes, I will marry you! You have made me so very happy!" She reached over and kissed him gently on the cheek. Then Marcia said, "You said you had two questions to ask me. What is the second question?" Jimmie scratched his neck and said, "Will you help me get up?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Connie for this story: My uncle Joe and his best buddy, Bubba, went hunting a couple of weeks ago. Somehow they got lost. Uncle Joe reassured his buddy, though. "Don't worry. All we have to do is shoot into the air three times, stay where we are, and someone will find us." They shot in the air three times, but no one came. After a while, they tried it again. Still no response. When they decided to try once more, Bubba said, "It better work this time. We're down to our last three arrows." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Frugal Costume: Ninja! A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied. "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us." "Yes, they do, brave oyster wrestler!" Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Photos of wearable art competition. (Well, it's almost Halloween...)
___________________________________________________ GROAN ALERT One day in the forest, three animals were discussing who among them was the most powerful. "I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly at my prey." "That's nothing," said the mountain lion, "I am not only fleet, but I have powerful teeth and claws." "I am the most powerful," said the skunk, "because with a flick of my tail, I can drive off the two of you." Just then a huge grizzly bear lumbered out of the forest and settled the debate by eating them all. . . . hawk, lion, and stinker. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Michael DRAWBACKS OF WORKING IN A CUBICLE [Or, "Welcome to my life."] * Not being able to check E-mail attachments without first seeing who's behind you. * Fabric walls offer little protection from gunfire, or farts. * The walls are too close together for the hammock to work right. * Prison cells are not only bigger, they have beds. * When you quit and walk out, there's no door to slam. * Being told to "think outside the box" when you're in a freakin' box all day long. * 23 power cords - 1 outlet. * The carpet has been there since 1976 (or longer) and shows more signs of life than your coworkers. * Everybody steals everybody elses pot-it-notes, to take home. * The bolted on fingerprint activated gun safe on your desk is for pens qand post-it-notes. * If you talk to yourself it causes all the surrounding cubicle inhabitants to pop their heads over the wall and say "What? I didn't hear you." * Whenever you go get some water or coffee, your waste basket mysteriously fills up in your absence. * You always have the feeling that someone is watching you, but by the time you turn to look they're gone. ____________________________________________________

Today, October 3 in
1863 U.S. President Lincoln declared that the last Thursday of
November would be recognized as Thanksgiving Day. 

1893 The motor-driven vacuum cleaner was patented by J.S.
Thurman. 

1901 The Victor Talking Machine Company was incorporated. After a
merger with Radio Corporation of America the company became RCA-
Victor. 

1906 W.T. Grant opened a 25-cent department store. 

1922 Rebecca L. Felton became the first female to hold office of
U.S. Senator. She was appointed by Governor Thomas W. Hardwick of
Georgia to fill a vacancy. 

1929 The Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes officially changed
its name to the Kingdom of Yugoslavia. 

1932 Iraq was admitted into the League of Nations leading Britain
to terminate their mandate over the nation. Britain had ruled
Iraq since taking it from Turkey during World War I. 

1935 Italian forces invaded Abyssinia (now Ethiopia). 

1941 Adolf Hitler stated in a speech that Russia was "broken" and
they "would never rise again." 

1942 The Office of Economic Stabilization was established by U.S.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt. He also authorized controls on
rents, wages, salaries and farm prices. 

1944 During World War II, U.S. troops broke through the Siegfried
Line. 

1951 CBS-TV aired the first coast-to-coast telecast of a
prizefight. Dave Sands defeated Carl Olson at Soldier Field in
Chicago. 

1952 Britain became the third nuclear power in the world when
they successfully detonated their first atomic bomb. The U.S. and
Russia were the only other nuclear powers. 

1955 "Captain Kangaroo" premiered on CBS-TV. 

1962 The Sigma VII blasted off from Cape Canaveral for a nine-
hour flight. 

1981 Irish Nationalists in Maze Prison in Belfast, Northern
Ireland called off their hunger strike. The strike had lasted 7
months and ten people had died. 

1988 The space shuttle Discovery landed safely after its four-day
mission. It was the first American shuttle mission since the
Challenger disaster. 

1989 East Germany suspended unrestricted travel to Czechoslovakia
in an effort to slow the flow of refugees to the West. 

1990 The Berlin Wall was dismantled eleven months after the
borders between East and West Germany were dissolved. The
unification of Germany ended 45 years of division. 

1990 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein made a visit to Kuwait since
his country had seized control of the oil-rich nation. 

1994 The headquarters of the Haitian pro-army militia was raided
by U.S. soldiers. 

2003 Ray Horn, of the duo "Siegfried & Roy," was attacked by
tiger during a performance. Roy survived the attack after being
dragged offstage. The tiger, a 7-year-old male named Montecore,
was debuting in his first show. 

2006 North Korea announced that it would conduct a nuclear test
as a key step in the manufacture of atomic bombs that it viewed
as a deterrent against a U.S. attack. A date for the test was not
announced. 

2018  smiled.


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Out-going mystery stuff 




Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, October 2

What really surprised me was that Broom Hilda made absolutely no
comment in the phony Kavenaugh accusation circus.
Does she too already know it will seriously backfire?
When the shit hits the fan, she will be high and dry and smiling.

Did anybody notice that while the Anti-American media was
imitating a herd of hysterical chihuahuas outside of the fence
where the cat sleeps, trying desperately to slander Kavanaugh, 
Trump quietly renegotiated NAFTA and even got Trudeau to sign.
NAFTA is saved!

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Man arrested for human trafficking when 
teen escapes to restaurant

______________________________________________________
Today, October 2 in
1962 U.S. ports were closed to nations that allowed their ships
to carry arms to Cuba, ships that had docked in a socialist
country were prohibited from docking in the United States during
that voyage, and the transport of U.S. goods was banned on ships
owned by companies that traded with Cuba. 
Bernie is still a Socialist.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. --- John Adams (1735 - 1826) Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius. --- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (1859 - 1930) ______________________________________________________ Lisa and Linda are walking down the street. Lisa finds a little mirror, and looks in it. She looks again, and again. Puzzled, she says to her friend, "I just know I've seen this face before!" "Give it to me", says linda. She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course you have, silly! It's me!" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ While rummaging through his attic a man found a shoe-repair ticket that was five years old. Figuring that he had nothing to lose, he went to the shop and presented the ticket to the pro- prietor, who reluctantly began a search for the unclaimed shoes. After ten minutes, the owner reappeared and handed back the ticket. "Well," asked the customer, "did you find the shoes?" "Yes," replied the owner, "they'll be ready Tuesday." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ "Son, I just know you'll do the right thing by this little girl," said the preacher. "You just marry her, and you'll be at the end of your troubles." So he did the right thing, and he married the girl, and about six months later when he saw the preacher again he tried to murder him. "You miserable liar!" shouted the young man. "You told me if I married her, I would be at the end of my troubles. Well, I married her, and she has made my life miserable." "That may be true, son, but you can't blame me," replied the minister. "I said you'd be at the end of your troubles, but I never said which end." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Patrick McManus, 25, Charlotte, North Carolina Man arrested for human trafficking w hen teen escapes to restaurant Andre Davis said he was working at Captain D's in Charlotte, North Carolina, when a 17-year-old girl ran inside. Police said 25-year-old Patrick McManus has been arrested after he reportedly forced the teenage girl into his car and assaulted her. McManus is charged with kidnapping and human trafficking. “He was following her, and my manager told him, ‘No, you're not allowed in the girls’ bathroom,’” Davis said. “Everybody was panicking. They didn't know if he had a gun. Like, it was crazy in here." Police said they were called to a motel on Reagan Drive around 4:50 p.m. Friday for a report of a 17-year-old who had been assaulted and kidnapped. Officers said the victim and suspect left before they arrived. Officers were then called to the Captain D’s around 5:38 p.m. The 911 caller said a woman who had been kidnapped was inside the restaurant. Police said officers located the victim and McManus, who was arrested on the scene. "The manager grabbed cleaning supplies to act like she was cleaning the bathroom the whole time when I was on the phone with police," Davis said. The Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department's Human Trafficking Unit was brought in to investigate and found the 17-year-old victim had known McManus for less than a week. Police said the girl told them she was staying at the nearby Royal Inn, where McManus was also staying. Court documents show the teen said McManus told her he loved her, but he was physically abusive and forced her into prostitution so he could buy drugs. “That's crazy,” Davis said. "At a young age, that's real, that's real bad." The girl told detectives that McManus demanded she work as a prostitute to earn him money. She said when she refused, he threatened and assaulted her. She told police she lied to McManus and tried to hide, but he found her, choked her and forced her into his car while he was holding a Taser. The victim was taken to a hospital for non-life-threatening injuries. "Nobody would want that to happen to their kid,” Davis said. Detectives said the teen put up a fight for more than 2 miles and attempted to jump out of the moving car. "About a minute after I got off the phone, the police (were) here,” Davis said. Police said McManus was being taken to the Mecklenburg County Jail after his interview when he was able to move his handcuffed hands to the front of his body and assault the officer who was driving. Police said he spit on two officers that responded and kicked the patrol car door. McManus was eventually restrained. Police said McManus had minor injuries after the incident and was taken to Novant Health for evaluation. McManus is charged with kidnapping, human trafficking, assault on a female, assault by strangulation, assault on a government official, damage to property, two counts of malicious conduct by a prisoner, resisting and promoting prostitution. He is in jail on a $120,000 bond.
From Helen Re: Outgoing mystery stuff Dear Webby, Norton keeps alerting me that WINTOOLS.EXE and IEXPLORESKINS.EXE are attempting to access the internet. They are both listed as Medium Risk. Since I don't know what they are, I have come to the master to ask if I should permanently block them or if they are useful and should be allowed. Thanks once again for you help! Helen Dear Helen If medium risk (or any risk) stuff is trying to get from your machine out onto the Internet, then obviously your machine is infected with them. I don't use Norton because it doesn't stop stuff like that from coming in in the first place. Try running Spybot-Search&Destroy, update it to it's newest version, and see if that will find those things. To me they sound a lot more like malicious spyware than viruses, and just want to report your bra size, weight, visa numbers and stuff like that. Please let me know if Spybot-Search&Destroy catches them or if you need even bigger ammunition for that. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Ross for this story: A Welsh farmer walking through his field, notices a man drinking out of a pond. The Welsh farmer shouted: "Paid a yfed a dwr, maer gwerthin wedi cachu un a for." This means: “Don’t drink the water the cows have dumped into it." The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand. Please speak in English." The Welsh farmer says: "Use two hands, they hold more!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Marge was telling her friend Grace how she gets her son out of bed in the morning. "I just open his door and toss the cat on his bed. He sleeps with his dog." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Frugal Costume: Ninja! Wear all black with a black sash to wear as a belt. Cut a hole big enough for your eyes in black fabric and tie it loosely around your head. Children should also be outfitted with reflective tape on the front and back if they are going to be trick-or-treating outside. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Ames window optical illusion.
___________________________________________________ A woman was worried whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven, so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance. Sure enough, after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits, her husband's voice was heard answering, "Hello Margaret, this is meeee..." " "Fred," she answered. "I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife. What's it like there?" "Ooooooh, it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined," Fred answered. "The sky is bluer, the air is cleaner, and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected. And the only thing we do all day long, are eat and sleep, eat and sleep, over and over." "Thank God, you made it to heaven," his wife cried. "Heaven?" he answered. "What heaven? I'm a buffalo in Montana." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A man was in his usual place, sitting at the table, reading the newspaper during breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player, who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge. He turned to his wife with a look of bewilderment on his face and said, "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives" His wife said, "Why, thank you, dear!" ____________________________________________________

Today, October 2 in
1492 King Henry VII of England invaded France. 

1780 British army major John Andre was hanged as a spy. He was
carrying information about the actions of Benedict Arnold. 

1835 The first battle of the Texas Revolution took place near the
Guadalupe River when American settlers defeated a Mexican
cavalry
unit. 

1836 Charles Darwin returned to England after 5 years of
acquiring knowledge around the world about fauna, flora, wildlife
and geology. He used the information to develop his "theory of
evolution" which he unveiled in his 1859 book entitled The Origin
of Species by Means of Natural Selection. 

1870 Rome was made the capital of Italy. 

1876 The Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas opened. It
was the state's first venture into public higher education. The
school was formally dedicated 2 days later by Texas Gov. Richard
Coke. 

1924 The Geneva Protocol adopted the League of Nations. 

1925 Scottish inventor John Logie Baird completed the first
transmission of moving images. 

1937 Warner Bros. released "Love Is on the Air." Ronald Reagan
made his acting debut in the motion picture. He was 26 years old.


1941 Operation Typhoon was launched by Nazi Germany. The plan was
an all-out offensive against Moscow. 

1944 The Nazis crushed the Warsaw Uprising. 

1947 The Federatino Internationale de l'Automobile (FIA) formally
established Formula One racing in Grand Prix competition. 

1950 "Peanuts," the comic strip created by Charles M. Schulz, was
published for the first time in seven newspapers. 

1958 Guinea, the French colony in West Africa, proclaimed its
independence. Sekou Toure was the first president of the Republic
of Guinea. 

1962 U.S. ports were closed to nations that allowed their ships
to carry arms to Cuba, ships that had docked in a socialist
country were prohibited from docking in the United States during
that voyage, and the transport of U.S. goods was banned on ships
owned by companies that traded with Cuba. 

1967 Thurgood Marshall was sworn in. He was the first African-
American member of the U.S. Supreme Court. 

1988 Pakistan's Supreme Court ordered free elections. 

1989 In Leipzig, East Germany a protest took place demanding the
legalization of opposition groups and the adoption of democratic
reforms. 

1990 The Allies ceded their rights to areas they occupied in
Germany. 

1993 Opponents of Russian President Boris Yeltsin fought police
and set up burning barricades. 

1998 Hawaii sued petroleum companies, claiming state drivers were
overcharged by about $73 million a year in price-fixing. 

1998 About 10,000 Turkish soldiers crossed into northern Iraq and
attacked Kurdish rebels. 

2001 NATO, for the first time, invoked a treaty clause that
stated that an attack on one member is an attack on all members.
The act was in response to the September 11, 2001, terrorist
attacks in the United States. 

2015 The reorganization of Google into Alphabet Inc. was
completed. Alphabet became the parent company of Google and
several other companies previosly owned by Google. 

2018  smiled.


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Phony PayPal emails 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, October 1

Today in 1992 Moscow banks distributed privatization vouchers
aimed at turning millions of Russian communists into capitalists.
26 years ago Russia gave up on Communism. 
Will somebody please tell Broom Hilda and Bernie?

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Florida grandmother pops out teeth to scare 
off nude man on back porch. He is in jail now.
Recovering from the fright.

______________________________________________________
Today, October 1 in
2001 San Francisco's Board of Supervisors voted unanimously to
ban Internet filters designed to keep pornography away from
children at city libraries. The board left the decision up to the
Library Commission to decide whether to install filtering
software in children's areas. A federal law in the U.S. mandated
the use of the filters. 
San Francisco decided to provide sanctuary to child porno.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what's right. --- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. --- Doug Larson ______________________________________________________ The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being sworn in as American citizens. "It is wonderful," the husband exclaimed. "We are American citizens at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?" "Yes, you male chauvinist pig," his wife replied. "Tonight, you cook dinner and I get on top...!" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish". The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to." The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me." The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I have been married and divorced four times. All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say "nothing" and how I can make a woman truly happy." After a few minutes God said, "Divorcing them works for most, but unfortunately not all. Do you want two lanes or four on that silly bridge?" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ John asks his wife, Mary what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. "Would you like a new Mink Coat?" he asks. "Not really," says Mary. "Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John. "No," she responds. "What about a new vacation home in the country?" he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a "No thanks." "Well what would you like for your anniversary?" John asks. "John, I'd like a divorce," answers Mary. "Sorry, I wasn't planning to spend quite that much," says John. ______________________________________________________ Usual practise in Britain is to bounce a vehicle out of the way, paint the new lines, then bounce the vehicle back on top of the new lines, and issue a parking ticket. This vehicle must have been too heavy for the yobs. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Axel Rivera, 28, Titusville, Florida Florida grandmother pops out teeth to scare off nude man on back porch. He is in jail now. Recovering from the fright. Facebook A grandmother in Titusville, Florida, opened her blinds early Friday morning, expecting to see her cat on the back porch, only to see a nude man standing there, according to police. Axel Rivera, 28, was wearing a two-piece jail outfit and a pair of flip-flops when he faced a judge Friday afternoon on charges of burglary and exposing sexual organs. That’s three more items of clothing than Titusville police said Rivera was wearing when he was discovered on Pennelope Pettersen’s screened porch around 2 a.m. “I always look first. I opened the blinds and said, ‘What the hell? That’s not my cat,’” said Pettersen. Pettersen, who once worked in security and law enforcement, decided she’d give the intruder a fright. She popped out her teeth. “Grandma no teeth!” she shouted. Rivera’s is held at the Brevard County jail on $20,000 bail.
From Gerry Re: Phoney PayPal mails Dear Webby, I know you mentioned phoney PayPal letters a few times, but I never paid attention because then I didn't have a paypal account. Now I do and today I got an email that looks like it is from Paypal and that asks me to verify details about my account. But it was sent to my other address, not the one I use for PayPal. What's the proper procedure? Gerry Dear Gerry PayPal NEVER asks you to submit any information via email. NEVER click on any links in mails pretending to be from PayPal. If you have MailWasher, then you can see in the preview details that underneath what looks like a link to PayPal, the link actually goes to some number domain. With some email programs you can see those numbers in the status line when you hover the mouse over the link. Real PayPal mail never has links except to https://www.paypal.com They just tell you to log in normally and go to this or that department. If you get phoney PayPal mails, expose the header and forward the mail to spoof@paypal.com Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A recently divorced woman is walking along the beach contemplating how badly treated she got over the divorce settlement, when she spies a magic lamp washing up onshore. She rubs the lamp, and out pops a magical genie!! The genie notices her anger and lets her vent her troubles to him. As a consolation, the genie informs her that he will give her three wishes. But, he cautions her that because he does not believe in divorce, he will give her ex-husband ten times the amount of whatever she wishes. The woman is steaming mad, thinking that this is hardly fair, but she makes her first wish. The first wish was for a billion dollars. The genie grants her wish and she finds herself sitting in pile of one billion one-dollar bills. The genie then reminds her that her husband is now the recipient of 10 billion dollars. The woman can barely contain her anger when she makes her second wish. The second wish was for a beautiful mansion on the shore of her own private beach. In an instant it was granted, but the genie then reminds again that her ex- husband now owns ten of what she wished for, and points out at the beach to a small development of ten such mansions. Upon hearing this, the woman takes her time to contemplate her last wish. Just as the genie was about to give up on her, the woman informs the genie that she wants to make the last wish. But, before she can do this, the genie again warns her that her ex- husband will get ten times what she wishes for. "No problem," said the woman as she grinned in ecstasy. "For my last wish ... I'd like to give birth to twins."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
These were actual things that kids have said about our various phenomena of the world...you gotta love them! *Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there. *Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother. *Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers. *We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on. *In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's. *Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do. *Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does. *We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won't drown when we breathe. *Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail. *In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes. *A blizzard is when it snows sideways. *A monsoon is a French gentleman. *Thunder is a rich source of loudness. *Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound. *It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places. *The wind is like the air, only pushier. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Meatloaf Muffins To make meatloaf in convenient serving sizes, make your favorite meatloaf recipe in muffin tins. The meatloaf will cook faster and it's the perfect size for freezing. Then just serve a meatloaf muffin to each person. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Best of the week, People Are Awesome!
___________________________________________________ A young Jewish mom walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day of kindergarten. "Behave, my bubaleh" she says. "Take good care of yourself and think about your Mother, tataleh!" "And come right back home on the bus, schein kindaleh." "Mommy loves you a lot, my ketsaleh!" At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs to her son on and hugs him. "So tell mommy. . . what did my pupaleh learn on his first day of school?" The boy answers, "I've learned that my name is Melvin." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A very thirsty man goes into a bar. He sits down and waits for the bartender to see him. The man next to him calls for the bartender saying, "I'll have another waterloo." The bartender gives him a tall, ice cold drink, then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink. Wanting to try this new drink, he says, "I'll have a waterloo too." The bartender gives him a tall, ice cold drink. The man takes a big drink from the glass and says, "HEY! This isn't any good. It tastes just like water!" The man next to him looks at the bartender and says, "Well, it is water . . . right Lou? ____________________________________________________

Today, October 1 in
1569 The Duke of Norfolk was imprisoned by Britain's Queen
Elizabeth for trying to marry Mary the Queen of Scots. 

1800 Spain ceded the territory of Louisiana back to France. Later
the property would be purchased by the U.S. effectively doubling
its size. 

1880 Thomas Edison began the commercial production of electric
lamps at Edison Lamp Works in Menlo Park. 

1890 The U.S. Congress passed the McKinley Tariff Act. The act
raised tariffs to a record level. 

1896 Rural Free Delivery was established by the U.S. Post Office.


1908 The Model T automobile was introduced by Henry Ford. The
purchase price of the car was $850. 

1918 Damascus was captured from the Turks during World War I by a
force made up of British and Arab forces. 

1936 General Francisco Franco was proclaimed the head of the
Spanish state. 

1938 German forces enter Czechoslovakia and seized control of the
Sudetenland. The Munich Pact had been signed two days before. 

1940 The Pennsylvania Turnpike opened as the first toll
superhighway in the United States. 

1943 Naples was captured by the Allied forces during World War
II. 

1946 The International War Crimes Tribunal in Nuremberg sentenced
12 Nazi officials to death. Seven others were sentenced to prison
terms and 3 were acquitted. 

1949 Mao Tse-tung raised the first flag of the People's Republic
of China when the communist forces had defeated the Nationalists.
The Nationalist forces fled to Taiwan. 

1964 The Free Speech Movement was started at the University of
California at Berkeley. 

1972 The Chinese government approved friendly relations with the
United States. 

1979 The United States handed control of the Canal Zone over to
Panama. 

1980 Robert Redford became the first male to appear alone on the
cover of "Ladies' Home Journal." He was the only male to achieve
this in 97 years. 

1982 EPCOT (Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow) Center
opened in Florida. The concept was planned by Walt Disney. 

1985 The PLO's headquarters in Tunisia was raided by Israeli jet
fighters. 

1988 Mikhail Gorbachev assumed the Soviet presidency. 

1989 7,000 East Germans were welcomed into West Germany after
they were allowed to leave by the communist government. 

1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush addressed the U.N. General
Assembly and once again condemned Iraq's takeover of Kuwait. 

1990 In Croatia, minority Serbs proclaimed autonomy. 

1991 U.S. President Bush condemned the military coup in Haiti
that removed President Jean-Bertrand Aristide from power. U.S.
economic and military aid was suspended. 

1991 The U.S. trust territory of Palau became independent. 

1992 The Strategic Arm Reduction Treaty was approved by the U.S.
Senate. 

1994 The U.S. and Japan avoided a trade war by reaching a series
of trade agreements. 

1994 The National Hockey League (NHL) team owners began a lockout
of the players that lasted 103 days. 

1995 Sheik Omar Abdel-Rahman and nine other defendants were
convicted in New York of conspiring to attack the U.S. through
bombings, kidnappings and assassinations. 

1996 Lucent Technologies became an independent company. 

1998 The U.S. government posted a $2.2 million reward for the
capture of Augustin Vasquez Mendoza. He is accused of killing an
undercover U.S. agent during a drug purchase in 1994. 

1999 The 50th anniversary of the founding of the Peoples Republic
of China was celebrated in Beijing. 

2001 San Francisco's Board of Supervisors voted unanimously to
ban Internet filters designed to keep pornography away from
children at city libraries. The board left the decision up to the
Library Commission to decide whether to install filtering
software in children's areas. A federal law in the U.S. mandated
the use of the filters. 

2009 In the United Arab Emirates, the exterior construction of
the Burj Khalifa skyscraper was completed. 

2018  smiled.


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Can you run Spybot anhd Malwarebytes simultaneously? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, September 30

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

AZ mom arrested for leaving 4-year-old 
daughter home alone while she went partying

______________________________________________________
Today, September 30 in
1992 Moscow banks distributed privatization vouchers aimed at
turning millions of Russian communists into capitalists. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like. --- Jackie Mason (1934 - ) Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) A new survey found that the country with the highest number of contented citizens in the world is Mexico. Apparently, this is because everybody who was unhappy in Mexico has moved to Los Angeles. --- Conan O'Brien ______________________________________________________ >From Boris My partner and I were in our police car when we were dispatched to break up a domestic dispute. We spoke with the couple and the problem was quickly resolved. On leaving, I was admiring the craftsmanship of their turn-of-the-century home and reached for what I thought was the front door. Realizing my mistake, I was turning away in embarrassment when I heard my partner say: "If you have any more problems, we'll be in your closet." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Tony, having his second son christened, was much concerned about getting the correct name on the birth certificate. "Will you please name the baby just as I give it to you?" "Certainly," answered the minister, "why shouldn't I?" "Well you see, it's like this," replied Tony. "When I told you I wanted to name my first boy Tom, you wrote on his birth certificate 'Thomas.' This boy I want to name Jack." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ I was on vacation, playing the slot machines. It was my first time in a casino, and I wasn't sure how the machines operated. "Excuse me." I said to a casino employee. "How does this work?" The worker showed me how to insert a bill, hit the spin button, and operate the release handle. "And where does the money come out?" I asked. He smiled and motioned to a far wall before saying, "Usually at the ATM." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Alexandra Rose Ciliento, 29, Scottsdale, Arizona AZ mom arrested for leaving 4-year-old daughter home alone while she went partying A 29-year-old woman is accused of leaving her 4-year-old daughter home alone to go partying in Scottsdale, police said in court records. The little girl knocked on a neighbor's door at about 6:30 a.m. Sunday and told them her mother, Alexandra Rose Ciliento, wasn't home, according to police. Authorities said it turned out that mom had been gone overnight. The neighbor told police they waited with the girl for about 45 minutes with no sign of her mother before calling 911. Officers were able to reach Ciliento at 8:20 a.m. after obtaining her number from the child's father. When she returned home, she told Scottsdale police she left her apartment near Bell and Pima roads at 11 p.m. Saturday for the Scottsdale entertainment district. "No plan was set in place to have the child watched by a family member or guardian. Nor was there any attempt made to secure a babysitter," police said in court records. Ciliento was not aware that her child could open a locked door and leave the residence, court records state. Ciliento is facing one felony count of child abuse. The Department of Child Safety was contacted by police after her arrest, records add.
>From Richi Re: Spybot and Malwarebytes Dear Webby, I might have asked you this before,but how ofter do you run Spybot?is it okay to run malware bytes together?spybot seems toscan slower...tyvm for all the answers and help its gr8tly appreciated Richi Hi Richi I run Spybot about once a month or when I suspect any spyware. No, I would not run both at the same time. They would slow things down too much to be able to continue working without a lot of cussing. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Officers at a military installation were being lectured about a new computer. The training officer said the computer was able to withstand nuclear and chemical attacks. Suddenly, he saw that one of the officers had a cup of coffee and yelled, "There will be no eating or drinking in this room! You'll have to get rid of that coffee." The officer said meekly, "Sure, but why?" "Because a coffee spill could short the keyboard and wipe out all of the data!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?" One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury." But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm." Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast." Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord." Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills." Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda: "The Apostles were in one Accord." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Cover Windows With Plastic Put plastic over your windows in the cold months, especially if you have single pane windows.. You would be surprised how much cold air gets through your seals in an older home. It is especially true this year with energy costs likely to go through the roof. The kits for that are pretty well impossible to find nowadays, but you can use pallet-wrap. It is just shrink wrap on 3 or 4 foot wide rolls, used to wrap around loaded pallets to keep everything together and protected. You can get that and wide scotch tape at warehousing needs suppliers. DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
10 Unsolved Mysteries From The Middle Ages That Still Baffle Experts Today
___________________________________________________ The Eyeglass Prescription for women Don't wear your glasses on a blind date. You'll look better, and he will too. The Psychological Prognosis: Love is a form of temporary insanity curable only by marriage. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Since another church member, Bonnie, had mentioned that she and her husband were struggling with a big decision on whether they should become missionaries, my friend offered to include them on the prayer list. So at the meeting, my friend announced in front of the whole congregation, "Let's all pray that Bonnie and Lee can make a decision about the missionary position." ____________________________________________________

Today, September 30 in
1399 Henry Bolingbroke became the King of England as Henry IV. 

1777 The Congress of the United States moved to York, PA, due to
advancing British forces. 

1787 The Columbia left Boston and began the trip that would make
it the first American vessel to sail around the world. 

1846 Dr. William Morton performed a painless tooth extraction
after administering ether to a patient. 

1868 Spain's Queen Isabella was deposed and fled to France. 

1882 In Appleton, WI, the world's first hydroelectric power plant
began operating. 

1938 The Munich Conference ended with a decision to appease Adolf
Hitler. Britain, and France allowed Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland
to be repatriated by the Nazis. It had been taken away as part of
the punishment for losing WWI.

1946 An international military tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany,
found 22 top Nazi leaders guilty of war crimes. 

1949 The Berlin Airlift came to an end. The airlift had taken 2.3
million tons of food into the western sector despite the Soviet
blockade. 

1954 The U.S. Navy commissioned the Nautilus submarine at Groton,
CT. It was the first atomic-powered vessel. The submarine had
been launched on January 21, 1954. 

1962 James Meredith succeeded in registering at the University of
Mississippi. It was his fourth attempt to register. 

1963 The Soviet Union publicly declared itself on the side of
India in their dispute with Pakistan over Kashmir. 

1966 Albert Speer and Baldur von Schirach were released at
midnight from Spandau prison after completing their 20-year
sentences. Speer was the Nazi minister of armaments and von
Schirach was the founder of Hitler Youth. 

1971 The Soviet Union and the United States signed pacts that
were aimed at avoiding an accidental war. 

1971 A committee of nine people was organized to investigate the
prison riot at Attica, NY. 10 hostages and 32 prisoners were
killed when National Guardsmen stormed the prison on September
13, 1971. 

1976 California enacted the Natural Death Act of California. The
law was the first example of right-to-die legislation in the U.S.


1980 Israel issued its new currency, the shekel, to replace the
pound. 

1983 The first AH-64 Apache attack helicopter was rolled out by
McDonnell Douglas Helicopter Company. 

1986 The U.S. released accused Soviet spy Gennadiy Zakharov, one
day after Nicholas Daniloff had been released by the Soviets. 

1987 Mikhail S. Gorbachev retired President Andrei A. Gromyko
from the Politburo and fired other old-guard leaders in a shake-
up at the Kremlin. 

1989 Tens of thousands of East Germans began emigrating under an
accord between the NATO nations and the Soviet Union. 

1989 Non-Communist Cambodian guerrillas claimed that they had
captured 3 towns and 10 other positions from the residing
government forces. 

1990 The Soviet Union and South Korea opened diplomatic
relations. 

1991 Haiti's first freely elected president, Jean-Bertrand
Aristide, was overthrown by Brigadier General Raoul Cedras.
Aristide was later returned to power. 

1992 Moscow banks distributed privatization vouchers aimed at
turning millions of Russian communists into capitalists. 

1994 The space shuttle Endeavor took off on an 11-day mission.
Part of the mission was to use a radar instrument to map remote
areas of the Earth. 

1997 France's Roman Catholic Church apologized for its silence
during the persecution and deportation of Jews by the pro-Nazi
Vichy regime. 

1999 In Tokaimura, Japan, radiation escaped a nuclear facility
after workers accidentally set off an uncontrolled nuclear chain
reaction. 

2014 Amazon filed for a patent for a UAV (unmanned aerial
vehicle) configured to autonomously deliver items to customers.
The patent was related to Amazon's plan for their Prime Air
service. 

2018  smiled.


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Best Free Fax program 




Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, September 29

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Driving with revoked license, 
carrying stolen gun and dope

______________________________________________________
Today, September 29 in
1977 Eva Shain became the first woman to officiate a heavyweight
title boxing match. About 70 million people watched Muhammad Ali
defeat Ernie Shavers on NBC-TV. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There art two cardinal sins from which all others spring: Impatience and Laziness. --- Franz Kafka (1883 - 1924) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Craig for this one: Like a lot of married men, I got the "You just don't appreciate me" speech once from Juanita. I promised to treat her royally for the remainder of the day. I took her to lunch at Burger King and Dairy Queen for dessert. She's never mentioned it since. ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two kids were trying to figure out what game to play. One said, "Let's play doctor." "Good idea." said the other. "You operate, and I'll sue." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ John and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that John was ever so slowly, silently sliding down his chair and under the table, while Mary acted quite unconcerned. Their waitress watched as John slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, Mary appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that John had disappeared under the table. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table." The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Ah, no. That wasn't my husband. My husband just walked in the front door." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jason Salkeld, 41, Lincoln, Nebraska Driving with revoked license, carrying stolen gun and dope Lincoln Police arrested a 41-year-old man after he was found to be in possession of methamphetamine and a gun stolen from a Lincoln business in 2016. LPD said on Tuesday around 7:30 p.m., Jason Salkeld, 41, was observed driving a vehicle near 86th and Lexington Avenue. The officer recognized Salkeld and was aware his license was revoked. After making contact, Salkeld was found to be in possession of 2.1 grams of suspected meth, and a stolen handgun was also found in his backpack. The gun had been reported stolen from Acher Arms on Dec. 25, 2016 during a burglary.
>From Edith Re: Free Fax Dear Webby, You mentioned a free fax service once, but that was before I disconnected my fax line and sold my fax machine when I retired. So at that time I did not pay attention and bookmark that site. Can you please look it up and mention it again? I need it to fax my prescription to Costco. I still have my scanner and scanned the 2 pages from my doctor's prescreiption. Thanks Edith Dear Edith I don't have to look it up. https://faxzero.com I use it often enough so that I remember it. FaxZERO.com is a fantastic service! I have used them for many years and never a problem. The first time you use them it may seem a bit intimidating. Don't worry! It is actually really easy, and your browser will remember everything for the next time. Just put in your name and phone number, so that the pharmacy can call you back and confirm each line item, in case you don't need the full amount of some of the stuff. And also your email address. Then you enter the recipient name and fax number Next you browse to the two pages you scanned and highlight them and click OK. It doesn't bother to show their names, but don't worry. It has got them. Then you hit send. It may seem that nothing is happening. It just silently hauls your scanned pages up to them. Now check your email. It has a line to click on to confirm that it is indeed you who wants to send a fax. Then they actually send the fax. Well, they try. If the recipient's machine is busy or out of paper, they keep trying until it goes through. That may take some time. However, don't worry. They will keep tryiing until it does go through. When it does, you get an email telling you that your fax has been received by the pharmacy, or wherever you faxed to. Three pages per fax are free. For $1.99 you can get their "Almost Free Fax" deal and send 25 pages. So far I have never needed to send more than 3 pages at a time, but if I ever have to, I know I can with FaxZERO.com. I can highly recommend FaxZERO.com This is not an ad or commission deal, just a recommendation from a frequent user. Have FUN DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
There's this cathedral that's still being worked on, and the workers have rigged a "cage elevator" inside so they can get material up and down to the upper floors. A characteristic of these "cage elevators" is that the doors (gate) must be closed manually for them to be "called" to another floor. One day one of the workers, Peter by name, takes the elevator to the top floor, and it is subsequently needed on the first floor by the sexton. Unfortunately, Peter forgot and left the door open. After the sexton rings for the elevator a couple times, to no avail, he yells up for the worker to send the lift back down. Visitors to the cathedral were treated to this sight: The sexton of the cathedral, head tipped up, yelling to the heavens: "Peter! CLOSE THE GATE!!!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A husband asks his wife, "If I should die first would you marry again?" "I would be heart-broken, of course," was her reply, "but I think eventually I would remarry." "But you wouldn't bring him here to our house?" "Why not? I've worked and slaved to make this house a home. There is no reason to abandon it." "But you wouldn't sleep in our bed?" "Well, I wouldn't run out and buy a new bed right away." "Surely, you wouldn't let him use my golf clubs?" "Of course not! He's lefthanded!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Don't Mow Wet Grass Try to avoid mowing your lawn when it's wet. The clippings will stick to the blade and interior of the mower and will clog it. If you do mow grass when it's a little wet, spray the blade with some spray cooking oil (like Pam) to help prevent sticking. Here the grass has frost on it. I won't mow that today! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
It's a hairy situation! Take a look at the beard and mustache winners of the 2017 contest.
___________________________________________________ From The Office Party Planning Committee... 16 Reasons Why Alcohol Should Be Served At Work... 1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It leads to more honest communications. 3. It reduces complaints about low pay 4. Employees tell management what they think, not what they want to hear. 5. It encourages car pooling. 6. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care. 7. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work. 8. It makes fellow employees look better. 9. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. 10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted. 11. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable. 12. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar. 13. It makes everyone more open with their ideas. 14. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break. 15. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up. 16. Sitting "Bare ass" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as gross." ----------- I don't drink, but find that funny anyway. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
While touring historic buildings in Alexandria, Virginia, we visited an old church. The guide told us that George Washington had attended services there and pointed to his pew. A reverent silence fell. The guide, encouraged by this, went on to tell us that church services back then had been very lengthy -- frequently lasting three hours or more. The mood of the moment was shattered when an anonymous voice whispered loudly, "So George Washington slept here too!" ____________________________________________________

Today, September 29 in
1789 A regular army was established by the U.S. War Department
with several hundred men. 

1829 The first public appearance by London's re-organized police
force was met with jeers from political opponents. The force
became known as Scotland Yard. 

1943 U.S. Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower and Italian Marshal Pietro
Badoglio signed an armistice aboard the British ship Nelson. 

1946 "The Adventures of Sam Spade" debuted on CBS Radio. 

1951 The first network football game was televised by CBS-TV in
color. The game was between the University of California and the
University of Pennsylvania. 

1962 U.S. President John F. Kennedy nationalized the Mississippi
National guard in response to city officials defying federal
court orders. The orders had been to enroll James Meredith at the
University of Mississippi. 

1967 The International Monetary Fund reformed monetary systems
around the world. 

1977 Eva Shain became the first woman to officiate a heavyweight
title boxing match. About 70 million people watched Muhammad Ali
defeat Ernie Shavers on NBC-TV. 

1982 In Chicago, IL, seven people died after taking capsules of
Extra-Strength Tylenol that had been laced with cyanide. 264,000
bottles were recalled. 

1983 The War Powers Act was used for the first time by the U.S.
Congress when they authorized President Reagan to keep U.S.
Marines in Lebanon for 18 more months. 

1983 "A Chorus Line" with performance number 3,389 became the
longest running show on Broadway. 

1984 Irish officials announced that they had intercepted the
Marita Anne carrying seven tons of U.S.-purchased weapons. The
weapons were intended for the Irish Republican Army. 

1984 Elizabeth Taylor was voted to be the world's most beautiful
woman in a Louis Harris poll. Taylor was at the time in the Betty
Ford Clinic overcoming a weight problem. 

1988 The space shuttle Discovery took off from Cape Canaveral in
Florida. It was the first manned space flight since the
Challenger disaster. 

1990 "Millie's Book" by First Lady Barbara Bush was the best-
selling non-fiction book in the U.S. 

1992 Brazilian lawmakers overwhelmingly voted to impeach
President Fernando Collor de Mello. 

1993 Bosnia's parliament voted overwhelmingly to reject an
international peace plan unless Bosnian Serbs returned land that
had been taken by force. 

1994 The U.S. House voted to end the practice of lobbyist buying
meals and entertainment for members of Congress. 

1998 Hasbro announced plans to introduce an action figure of
retired U.S. General Colin Powell. 

2008 The Dow Industrial Average lost 777 points. It was the
largest one-day decline to date. The drop came after the U.S.
House of Representatives had voted down a $700 billion bank
bailout plan. 

2010 In China, Canton Tower became operational. 

2018  smiled.


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Restore Thunderbird as the default mailer in FireFox 




Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, September 28
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Florida man threw another man off bridge, 
arrested after spotted by passing officer

______________________________________________________
Today, September 28 in
1892 The first nighttime football game in the U.S. took place
under electric lights. The game was between the Mansfield State
Normal School and the Wyoming Seminary.  
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) Hell, there are no rules here-- we're trying to accomplish something. --- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931) ______________________________________________________ The story is told of a Russian named Ivanovich who visited the Moscow zoo for the first time. To his amazement, he found a little lamb sharing the cage with a big fierce bear. Ivanovich expressed surprise to his guide. The guide smiled and said, "That is peaceful coexistence." When Ivanovich shook his head in a doubtful way, the guide explained, "Of course, we have to put in a fresh lamb every morning." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A gentleman goes to Africa and asks his tourist guide while walking in the jungle, "Are we safe here? Aren't there cannibals around here?" The tourist guide says, "Yes, it's safe. You can be sure there are no cannibals in Africa." The tourist replied, "But I heard there may still be some cannibals around here." The guide answered, "There are NO cannibals here. I'm sure. We ate the last one yesterday." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A woman was sick of her husband's drinking, so she decided to teach him a lesson. She dressed up like Satan, and when her husband returned home from another bender, she jumped out from behind the sofa and screamed. "You don't scare me," the man said, looking her over calmly. "I married your sister." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Derrick Goodin, 21 Daytona Beach, Floriduh Florida man threw another man off bridge, arrested after spotted by passing officer A man in Florida was arrested Sunday after he threw another man off a bridge into a river just as an officer was passing by, according to police. The Daytona Beach Police Department said that Derrick Goodin, 21, was involved in an argument with a woman over money as she and a friend crossed the bridge over the Halifax River on Sunday. After throwing the woman's bike in the water, the 21-year-old then threw over her friend, an unidentified man, after he got involved in the argument. "A Daytona Beach Police officer was just heading over the bridge when he spotted Goodin tossing the victim into the water," police said. In bodycam video released by police, Goodwin can be seen standing with the man before police say he tossed him over. The officer then gets out of the car and tells the 21-year-old to surrender. Goodin is then heard saying "he jumped over the bridge, before throwing his wallet in the water before he was arrested. "It's not every day that we're driving and we see a human being throwing another human being into a body of water," Daytona Beach Police spokeswoman Lyda Longa told FOX35. McKenzie Reijonen, who heard the commotion as he was fishing on a rowboat nearby, told FOX35 he jumped into action as soon as he realized what was happening. I mean over there it's pretty shallow but he fell I think into the channel which is even worse because, you know, he could have been unconscious and been hit by a passing motorboat," he said. Reijonen said he rowed his boat over to the bridge and brought the man, who had a gash on his head but was otherwise fine, to shore. I was just worried that he could have been punched unconscious or drowning or somewhere down there in the water and I did what I hoped somebody would do for me, he said. Goodin is now at the Volusia County Jail and has been charged with aggravated battery and breach of peace, according to police.
>From Lee Re: Restore Thunderbird as default mailer Dear Webby, Recently I've had to change laptops (due to a Florence related thunderstorm). I use Firefox and Thunderbird. Formerly when I clicked on the email link on Firefox it went to a Thunderbird blank email to send. Now it goes to a Microsoft product which I don't want to use. Help. Thanks, Lee Dear Lee Yes, that would upset me too! Check Mozilla Firefox browser settings: click on 'Open Menu' select 'Options' Select 'Applications' Set the 'MAILTO' protocol to use 'Thunderbird' Double check your computer protocol 'MAILTO' setting is also 'Thunderbird'. Control Panel > Default Programs >Associate a file type or protocol with a program Protocols: MAILTO needs to be set as Thunderbird. Please check registry key: HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Clients\Mail 'Start' > 'Run' > type: regedit Locate this registry entry: HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Clients\Mail on right side double click on 'Default' Enter 'Mozilla Thunderbird' in 'Value Data' click on 'OK' Messing with the registry is a very last resort, if nothing else works. I doubt you have to go that far. If you have to, first back up the registry before you mess with it. Have FUN DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
>From Myrna As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found my bag. When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded me. One man handed me my pocketbook, two typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of my purse. "We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there." As I started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse. And we'd like to see just how you do it."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I was attending an outdoor music concertwith a young woman I'd recently met. Standing at the back of the crowd, we wrapped our arms around each other to ward off the chilly air, swaying to the music. After a particularly romantic song, my date turned to face me. With a loving smile, she said, "I wish we were closer..." Totally thrilled, I looked into her eyes and whispered, "Do you mean our houses or our philosophies?" Puzzled, she replied, "...to the stage." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Cleaning With Baking Soda Make a paste of baking soda with water for a mild abrasive. You can use it instead of Comet or other abrasive cleaners for cleaning bathroom fixtures. It works well for cleaning spots off chrome and stainless steel. It can also be added to your laundry as a booster (1/2 cup should work). Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
It's a hairy situation! Take a look at the beard and mustache winners of the 2017 contest.
___________________________________________________ About the only thing a man can look down on and still heartily approve of, is a low-cut dress. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Charlie was a regular visitor at the race track. One afternoon he noticed an unusual sight. Right before the first race, a Catholic priest visited one of the horses in the stable area and gave it a blessing. Charlie watched the horse race very carefully, and sure enough the blessed horse came in first! Charlie followed the priest before the next race, and again the priest went to the stables and performed a similar procedure. Charlie played a hunch and put a couple of dollars on the blessed horse. Sure enough, the blessed horse came in by two lengths and Charlie won close to fifty bucks! The priest continued the same procedure through the next few races and the horse won each time. So between races Charlie left the track and went to the bank to withdraw his life's savings, $20,000. The biggest race of the day was the last one. Charlie followed the priest and watched carefully which horse he blessed. He then went to the betting window and put his whole bundle of cash on that horse, to win. Then Charlie went out to watch the horses race. Down the stretch they came and as they crossed the finish line, the horse Charlie's fortune was bet on was far behind ... dead last! Charlie was crushed. He located the priest and told him that he had been watching him bless the horses which all became winners throughout the day. Charlie then asked, "What happened to the last horse which you blessed? Because of your failure on that last horse, I have lost my entire life's savings." "That's the trouble with you Protestants," sighed the priest, "you never could tell the difference between a blessing and the Last Rites." ____________________________________________________

Today, September 28 in
1066 England was invaded by William the Conqueror who claimed the
English throne. 

1542 San Diego, CA, was discovered by Portuguese navigator Juan
Rodriguez Cabrillo. 

1687 The Turks surrendered Athens to the Venetians. 

1781 During the Revolutionary War, American forces began the
siege on Yorktown, VA. 

1850 The U.S. Navy abolished flogging as a form of punishment. 

1850 U.S. President Millard Fillmore named Brigham Young the
first governor of the Utah territory. In 1857, U.S. President
James Buchanan removed Young from the position. 

1892 The first nighttime football game in the U.S. took place
under electric lights. The game was between the Mansfield State
Normal School and the Wyoming Seminary. 

1915 The British defeated the Turks in Mesopotamia at Kut-el-
Amara. 

1924 The first around-the-world flight was completed by two U.S.
Army planes when they landed in Seattle, WA. The trip took 175
days. 

1939 During World War II, Germany and the Soviet Union agreed
upon a plan on the division of Poland. 

1950 The United Nations admitted Indonesia. 

1967 The first mayor of Washington, DC, Walter Washington, took
office. 

1972 Communist China and Japan agreed to re-establish diplomatic
relations. 

1978 Heavy fighting occurred in Lebanon between Syrian
peacekeeping troops and Lebanese Christian militiamen. 

1978 Don Sherman, editor of Car & Driver, set a new Class E
record in Utah. Driving the Mazda RX7 he reached a speed of
183.904 mph. 

1991 In response to U.S. President Bush's reduction of U.S.
nuclear arms Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev promised to
reciprocate. 

1995 Yasser Arafat of the PLO and Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak
Rabin signed an accord that transferred control of the West Bank.


2000 The U.S. Federal Drug Administration approved the use of RU-
486 in the United States. The pill is used to induce an abortion.


2004 Nate Olive and Sarah Jones arrived at the U.S.-Mexico border
to complete the first known continuous hike of the 1,800-mile
trail down the U.S. Pacific Coast. They started the trek on June
8. 

2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 2 billion applications
downloaded.

2018  smiled.


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Temp files 




Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, September 27

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Indiana school bus driver caught on video 
allowing kids as young as 11 to drive 
her school bus

______________________________________________________
Today, September 27 in
1825 George Stephenson operated the first locomotive that 
hauled a passenger train.  
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them." --- Robert Orben ______________________________________________________ Airman Johnson was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Johnson had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Johnson's sales pitch. Johnson explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government only has to pay a maximum of $6000." "Now," he concluded, "which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >Thanks to Nina from Oz for this story: Neville the Aborigine had been out of work for a long time and when he was offered the job at the council as a garbage collector he decided to take it up. On his first day things were going great until he arrived at one house and noticed there was no wheelie bin out the front. Neville thought to himself, "I wanna do a good job and not get fired from here but if they find out I missed one house then I will get fired." So he went up to the door and knocked on it. To his surprise it was a fellow Aborigine who answered. Neville breathed a sigh of relief and said to the other bloke, "Where's ya bin?" The man replied, "I bin on 'olidays." Neville then said, "Na, mate, where's ya BIN?" "I bin on 'olidays I tell ya," was the reply. Neville, slightly frustrated, says, "Na, ya silly idiot. Where's ya Wheelie Bin?" The other bloke looked round to see who might be listening. "Well," he said. "I weally bin in jail but I'm tellin' everyone I bin on 'olidays, eh!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Great Sales Technique A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!" Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page. What he saw was yesterday's paper. The man said, "Hey, this is an old paper, where's the story about the big swindle?" The newsboy ignored him and went on calling out, "Read all about it. Fifty-one people swindled!" ______________________________________________________ Pragser Wildsee, IT _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by Judy An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joandrea McAtee, 27, Portage, Indiana. Indiana school bus driver caught on video allowing kids as young as 11 to drive her school bus A northwest Indiana school bus driver has been arrested after she allegedly let three students, ages 11, 13 and 17, drive her vehicle, according to police. The incident was caught on video and posted on Twitter. According to a police statement, Joandrea McAtee, 27, let the children drive her bus Thursday as she dropped students off after school in Valparaiso, a small city about 50 miles southeast of Chicago. McAtee, of nearby Portage, was arrested Friday after the Porter Township Schools Administration and the Porter County Sheriff's Office investigated a parent's complaint, the Northwest Indiana Times reported. Chief Deputy Jeff Biggs said in a news release that three students took turns driving a short distance in a rural area of Valparaiso. McAtee was arrested when she went to the Porter Township Bus Barn to pick up her paycheck, according to the news release. She is facing charges of neglect of a dependent, a felony, and was fired by Porter Township and the bus service provider. "The Porter Township School Corporation is angered and disappointed in the actions of this driver," Stacey Schmidt, the Porter Township School Corporation superintendent, said in an email to the paper. "The safety of our students is a top priority." "This individual’s actions are not reflective of the hard work, dedication, and professionalism of our staff," Schmidt added. "We are thankful for the students and parents who came forward quickly with this information to both PTSC administration and law enforcement allowing us to respond expediently and take the proper steps to insure student safety."
>From Dennis Re: Temp Files Dear Webby, As a long time reader of your humor letter, I’ve enjoyed everything from the daily quotations to your apt replies to computer questions, which is why I’m asking you instead of Microsoft. Not to mention that your solution will probably help other readers. While “Spring Cleaning” my overcrowded hard disk, I found that a mysteriously large 15% of its data is in a folder ominously called: “Documents and Settings” with 7.48 GB. Of that the lion’s share is in: “C:\Documents and Settings\Dennis\Local Settings\Temp” (an invisible file, seemingly a warning not to meddle) containing a whopping 6.46 GB in 19,500 files, 146 folders. Surely this is an unreasonable amount of disk space for setting, yet a non-expert hesitates to monkey with something that might upset valued programs, so how to slim down this bloated mess? Thanks for any advice & the daily grins, Dennis Dear Dennis Just open the (files) Explorer (not MSIE), highlight C:\ Right-click it Click on the Disk Cleanup button Let it do it's thing. It will take a few minutes. After that, most of that temp stuff will be gone, and your machine will run a bit faster. I usually do that as the last item of a tune-up. The first item is running Spybot-Search&Destroy. Normally I do a tune-up like that every Saturday night, and once a month I reboot, whether it needs it or not. Have FUN DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. A Clean House Is A Sign Of A Misspent Life A Husband Is Someone Who Takes Out The Trash And Gives The Impression He Just Cleaned The Whole House A Messy Kitchen Is A Happy Kitchen...And This Kitchen Is Delirious Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused. Countless Number Of People Have Eaten In This Kitchen and Gone On To Lead Normal Lives Help Keep the Kitchen Clean Eat Out Housework Done Properly Can Kill You My next house will have no kitchen just vending machines. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Bobbie My wife and I were making our own funeral arrangements, and the director showed us into a room in which containers for ashes were on display. After we looked at the choices, I asked my wife if she had decided. She sighed. "Yes, the wood-finish one, as it will likely go into the ground." After a moment's pause, however, she continued. "But I really prefer the blue one. You know I always look good in blue." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Hiring Movers If you are hiring movers, be sure to ask them what their insurance covers before packing anything yourself. Quite often, they will only cover boxes that they have packed. Unless you want to use the move as an opportunity to sort what to keep and what to toss, let the movers do the packing. They don't get emotional over items you thought you had lost, and they know how to pack stuff quickly and efficiently and safely. DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
10 Unsolved Mysteries From The Middle Ages That Still Baffle Experts Today
___________________________________________________ Those of us who worked at the front desk of a convention hotel in Williamsburg, Va., prided ourselves on making the guests feel special. When someone arrived at reception, credit card in hand, we would sneak a peek at it and address him by name. Once during a particularly busy check-in, one of our guests presented a corporate credit card. "Welcome to Williamsburg, Mr. Bell," the desk clerk said. "Oh, please," the man replied, "call me Taco." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
They were burying Irish Pat today and the Irish Priest was explaining to the congregation that before they could put Pat to rest, someone had to get up and say something nice about Pat, even though Pat was a womanizer, a drunk and a fighter. No one got up. So the priest got up again and said,"Maybe I didn't explain me-self properly. Before we can put Paddy in his grave, one of you MUST get up and say something nice about the man. It's our duty as Irishmen and Catholics." So as the priest sat down again, Little Murphy in the back pew got up, cleared his throat, and with his porkpie hat in his hand said, "His brother was even worse!". ____________________________________________________

Today, September 27 in
1779 John Adams was elected to negotiate with the British over
the American Revolutionary War peace terms. 

1825 George Stephenson operated the first locomotive that hauled
a passenger train. 

1894 The Aqueduct Race Track opened in New York City, NY. 

1928 The U.S. announced that it would recognize the Nationalist
Chinese Government. 

1938 The League of Nations branded the Japanese as aggressors in
China. 

1939 After 19 days of resistance, Warsaw, Poland, surrendered to
the Germans after being invaded by the Nazis and the Soviet Union
during World War II. 

1940 The Berlin-Rome-Tokyo Axis was set up. The military and
economic pact was for 10 years between Germany, Italy and Japan. 

1962 The U.S. sold Hawk anti-aircraft missiles to Israel. 

1968 The U.K.'s entry into the European Common Market was barred
by France. 

1982 Italian and French soldiers entered the Sabra and Chatilla
refugee camps in Beirut. The move was made by the members of a
multinational force due to hundreds of Palestinians being
massacred by Christian militiamen. 

1989 Columbia Pictures Entertainment agreed to buy out Sony
Corporation for $3.4 billion. 

1989 Two men went over the 176-foot-high Niagara Falls in a
barrel. Jeffrey Petkovich and Peter Debernardi were the first to
ever survive the Horshoe Falls. 

1990 The deposed emir of Kuwait addressed the U.N. General
Assembly and denounced the "rape, destruction and terror" that
Iraq had inflicted upon his country. 

1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush eliminated all land-based
tactical nuclear arms and removed all short-range nuclear arms
from ships and submarines around the world. Bush then called on
the Soviet Union to do the same. 

1994 More than 350 Republican congressional candidates signed the
Contract with America. It was a 10-point platform they pledged
to enact if voters sent a GOP majority to the House. 

2004 North Korean Vice Foreign Minister Choe Su Hon announced
that North Korea had turned plutonium from 8,000 spent nuclear
fuel rods into nuclear weapons. He also said that the weapons
were to serve as a deterrent against increasing U.S. nuclear
threats and to prevent nuclear war in northeast Asia. The U.S.
State Department noted that the U.S. has repeatedly said that the
U.S. has no plans to attack North Korea. 

2015 The space probe Dawn was launched by NASA. Dawn entered
orbit around protoplanet Vesta on July 16, 2011 and entered orbit
around Ceres on March 6, 2015. 

2018  smiled.


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Wireless broadband 




Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, September 26


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Alabama mother charged after 5 of 
her kids test positive for cocaine

______________________________________________________
Today, September 26 in
1950 U.N. troops recaptured the South Korean capital of 
Seoul from the North Koreans during the Korean Conflict. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes. --- Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862) "Here's to woman! Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands." --- Ambrose Bierce ______________________________________________________ A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice. After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out of the office?" "I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill." The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try. The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the bills. When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the lawyer. ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man will pay $2 for a $1 item, if he needs it. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want because it's on sale. A woman worries about he future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find that man. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and don't expect to understand her at all. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. Any married man can forget his past mistakes, there's no reason for two people to keep track of the same things. A woman marries a man expecting him to change, and he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting her not to change and she does. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A middle-aged woman was driving through a school zone when a policeman pulled her over for speeding. As he was giving her the ticket, she said, "How come I always get a ticket and everyone else gets a warning? Is it my face?" "No, ma'am," explained the officer, "it's your foot." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cordelia Adair, 31, Montgomery, Alabama Alabama mother charged after 5 of her kids test positive for cocaine Cordelia Adair, 31, allegedly exposed five of her children – her 4-year-old son, 7-year-old daughter, 9-year-old daughter, 12- year-old son and 13-year-old son – to the substance during June and September of 2018, according to an arrest affidavit obtained by the Montgomery Advertiser. Adair was charged with five felony counts of chemical endangerment of a child. “MPD (Montgomery Police Dept.) was contacted by DHR (Department of Human Resources) on Sept. 6 in reference to possible drug activity in the home,” Capt. Regina Duckett, with the Montgomery Police Dept., told the paper. “Following a joint investigation with DHR, warrants were secured against Adair. She was taken into custody by the U.S. Marshals Fugitive Task Force on Sept. 21 and charged.” Alabama child welfare officials declined to comment on the case, citing privacy laws. Police did not immediately respond to requests for comment about the condition of the children. A judge reduced Adair’s bond Monday from $15,000 to $7,500 per count.
From: Sharon Re: Wireless broadband Internet Dear Webby, I love your humor. I've told many of your jokes to many people. Thanks for sharing them & your pics. I was asked by a friend if there was any wireless internet service she could check into that did not require a land phone line. I believe she uses a cell phone only & does not have cable tv either. I told her I would ask someone who would probably know. Your tech dept has been a lot of help. Also I keep seeing soemthing that says to use the "return" key to get back to something previoulsy viewed. What is the retuen key? I susally use the back arrow button on the taskbar. Just curious. Thanks again. Sharon Dear Sharon Verizon and a few others have a cell modem. It works slightly better than dial-up, but everybody I know that uses it, hates it. They consider it an emergency measure until they can get back to DSL or cable. Then there is Wireless High Speed Internet in some areas. Some towns have it, but most don't. Most rural areas in Canada have it, but in the US, most don't have it yet. Unless your friend is on the run, I would recommend that she get herself a land line. With a land line she can get DSL and 30 Mbps. Tell her to visit her ISP and discuss her options face to face. The bottom line, though, is the ISP. I get 30 Mbps to the ISP in Calgary. They are the bottleneck. Then I wait and wait and wait to get through them to whatever site I want to visit. If there are lots of ads there, then it is even worse. The speed between me and the ISP seems to be irrelevant. They are installing fibre now throughout the village. It will increase the speed from here to the ISP to 50 Mbps, still a long way from South Korea's average of 200 Mbps, but theoretically a lot faster than dial-up. The bottle neck at the ISP remains the same. Return Key: With manual and electric typewriters, that's the Carriage Return key that looks like the Enter key on a computer keyboard. Have FUN DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tire alongside the highway, and pulled over to see whether he could help. The man had a very red face, and a dark smear across it where he'd wiped off sweat with dirty hands. His tie was undone and his shirt collar askew, and it was clear he had also wiped his hands on his once-white shirt. Close to him stood an immaculately neat woman who was speaking in quick, agitated tones. "Hello, there," said the motorist. "Say, I've changed a lot of tires . . . maybe I can help here." "You sure can," the man with the flat tire replied wearily. "My wife is an expert, too. If you will just do all the arguing with her about how this tire ought to be changed, I can concentrate on the dirty work and get the job done."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A little girl was asked what she wanted most for her birthday and she declared: "A baby brother." "Daddy and I would like to give you a baby brother," said her mom, "but there isn't time before your birthday." "Why don't you do like they do down at Daddy's factory when they want something in a hurry -- put more men on the job?" said the little girl. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Fireplace Match Replacement If you run out of fireplace matches use a long piece of spaghetti. Just light the spaghetti and use it as a match. Also works for lighting candles that have wicks that are tough to reach (like birthday candles). Spaghetti also works great for lighting gas furnaces if a storm or gas interruption extinguishes the pilot lights. I have used spaghetti for many decades for that. You can get the flame right to the precise spot without singing your fingers. DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Tibetan Buddhist Sand Mandalas
___________________________________________________ A hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation. Watching the doctor's every move, he asked, "What's that?" The doctor explained, "This is an anaesthetic; after he gets this he won't know a thing." "Save your time, Doc," exclaimed the man, "he don't know nothing now." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
When I first started college, the Dean came in and said "Good Morning" to all of us. When we echoed back to him, he responded "Ah, you're Freshmen." He explained. "When you walk in and say good morning, and they say good morning back, it's Freshmen. When they put their newspapers down and open their books, it's Sophomores. When they look up so they can see the instructor over the tops of the newspapers, it's juniors. When they put their feet up on the desks and keep reading, it's seniors. When you walk in and say good morning, and they write it down, it's graduate students." ____________________________________________________

Today, September 26 in
1777 Philadelphia was occupied by British troops during the
American Revolutionary War. 

1892 "The King of Marches" was introduced to the general public. 

1908 In "The Saturday Evening Post" an ad for the Edison
Phonograph appeared. 

1914 The U.S. Federal Trade Commission was established. 

1918 During World War I, the Meuse-Argonne offensive against the
Germans began. It was the final Allied offensive on the western
front. 

1950 U.N. troops recaptured the South Korean capital of Seoul
from the North Koreans during the Korean Conflict. 

1955 The New York Stock Exchange suffered its worst decline since
1929 when the word was released concerning U.S. President
Eisenhower's heart attack. 

1960 The first televised debate between presidential candidates
Richard M. Nixon and John F. Kennedy took place in Chicago, IL. 

1962 "The Beverly Hillbillies" premiered on CBS-TV. 

1964 "Gilligan's Island" premiered on CBS-TV. The show aired for
the last time on September 4, 1967. 

1980 The Cuban government abruptly closed Mariel Harbor to end
the freedom flotilla of Cuban refugees that began the previous
April. 

1981 The Boeing 767 made its maiden flight in Everett, WA. 

1985 Shamu was born at Sea World in Orlando, FL. Shamu was the
first killer whale to survive being born in captivity. 

1986 The episode of "Dallas" that had Bobby Ewing returning from
the dead was aired. 

1990 The Motion Picture Association of America announced that it
had created a new rating. The new NC17 rating was to keep
moviegoers under the age of 17 from seeing certain films. 

1991 Four men and four women began their two-year stay inside the
"Biosphere II." The project was intended to develop technology
for future space colonies. 

1993 The eight people who had stayed in "Biosphere II" emerged
from their sealed off environment. 

1996 Shannon Lucid returned to Earth after being in space for 188
days. she set a time record for a U.S. astronaut in space and in
the world for time spent by a woman in space. 

2000 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Born-Alive
Infants Protection Act. The act states that an infant would be
considered to have been born alive if he or she is completely
extracted or expelled from the mother and breathes and has a
beating heart and definite movement of the voluntary muscles. 

2000 Slobodan Milosevic conceded that Vojislav Kostunica had won
Yugoslavia's presidential election and declared a runoff. The
declared runoff prompted mass protests. 

2001 In Kabul, Afghanistan, the abandoned U.S. Embassy was
stormed by protesters. It was the largest anti-Amercian protest
since the terror attacks on New York City and Washington, DC, on
September 11. 

2001 Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat and Israeli Foreign
Minister Shimon Peres announced plans to formalize a cease-fire
and end a year of fighting in the region. 

2006 Facebook was openened to everyone at least 13 years or older
with a valid email address. 

2018  smiled.


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Get rid of Forward Marks 




Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, September 25


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

PA crook tried to outrun cops 
with a bicycle

______________________________________________________
Today, September 25 in
1513 The Pacific Ocean was discovered by Spanish explorer Vasco
Nunez de Balboa when he crossed the Isthmus of Panama. He named
the body of water the South Sea. He was truly just the first
European to see the Pacific Ocean. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it. --- Mary Wilson Little Blame someone else and get on with your life. --- Alan Woods Kavanaugh says that was not him. He was apparently not invited to that party. ______________________________________________________ At long last the good-humored boss was compelled to call Fisk into his office. "It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium you have to take your aunt to the doctor." "You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Fisk. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking it, do you?" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "My wife finally convinced me to sign what's called a living will. It's a document that gives her the right, if I become attached to some mechanical device, to terminate my life. So yesterday, I'm on the excercise bike..." -Jonathan Katz _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates saying, "Granddaughter? Are you there?" The woman, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, "Grandmother? Is that you?" "Yes granddaughter, it's me." "It's really, really you, grandmother?", the woman repeats. "Yes, it's really me, granddaughter." The woman looks puzzled, "You're sure it's you, grandmother?" "Yes, granddaughter, I'm sure it's me." The woman pauses a moment, "Grandmother, I have just one question for you." "Anything, my child." "Grandmother, when did you learn to speak English?" ______________________________________________________ Not a recent picture. It stopped snowing but it is still very cloudy here. It used to be called "Harvest Moon" because this week was the time for burning the potato and other veggie's uppers and tree leaves after harvesting, in the years before the insane dogooders got that practise banned. I still miss the fragrant smell of the burning potato uppers and tree leaves. It used to be funny when some people raked their leaves piles out onto the road and set them on fire. It was not a protest of any kind, just fires well away from houses. Many also tossed tree stumps and knotty firewood, that was too hard to split, onto the leaves. They, of course, burned much slower and gave the kids a chance to roast marshmellows. Because of the fresh local smoke the harvest moon always used to be orangey or red. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Devon Ruoss, 41, Carlisle, Pennsylvania PA crook tried to outrun cops with a bicycle Cumberland County President Judge Edward E. Guido couldn't suppress a chuckle as Devon Ruoss stood before him to enter a guilty plea Tuesday morning. After all, the man had tried to outrun a bevy of Carlisle cops on a bicycle. And one of the officers was in a cruiser with lights flashing and siren blaring. As Senior District Attorney Daniel Sodus explained it, Ruoss, 41, began his ill-fated two-wheeled flight around 3 p.m. on July 26 after a borough officer recognized him as a wanted man. Two days earlier, Ruoss had been accused of punching a woman. So, the officer ordered Ruoss to stop when he spied him in the 100 block of South Hanover Street. Instead, Ruoss pedaled away with the cruiser in pursuit, Sodus said. "Several officers on foot tried to stop Mr. Ruoss as well," the prosecutor added. Eventually, Ruoss ran into a cop car and fell down. "So that was done on a bicycle?" Guido asked as Ruoss stood there in handcuffs. "A bicycle," Sodus confirmed. "So, it wasn't a high-speed chase?" the judge continued. "It depends on how fast he can ride a bicycle," the DA replied. Ruoss pleaded guilty to fleeing police for the bike chase and to simple assault for the punching incident. His only deal is for a county prison term that has yet to be determined by Judge Guido.
From: Martin Re: Forward marks Dear Webby, Sorry about all the forward marks that will likely appear. It's the biggest problem I have with Thunderbird. Anything I try to drag into a new email (or drag it up in the original) leaves only a blank outline with a red dot in the upper left corner. That's what I miss about my old NS 4.8 more than anything. ;-( Martin Dear Martin Go to my toolbox at http://webby.com/tools and look for this icon: With the Strip program you can strip all the AOL flags off any text. Highlight the text that you want to forward, CTRL C Jump to Strip CTRL V Strip Copy Close and you are back in the email program. CTRL V to paste and you got text as clean as if you had written it yourself. Have FUN DearWebby

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>From Edna We had built our dream house several years ago, and furnished it with quality pieces as we could afford them. Now the delivery truck carrying the last purchase, a new bedroom suite, was pulling into the driveway. "Finally!" I exclaimed, flinging open the front door as the driver walked up to the house. "I've been waiting twelve years for this!" "Don't blame me, lady," he said. "I just got the order this morning."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Everything about my new townhouse was great, except for one thing. I couldn't find my mailbox. It wasn't on the curb, nor was it by my front door. I was stymed. To the rescue came the development's manager. "The location of your mailbox should be indicated in the welcome package," he assured me. "It's the one we mailed to you." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Pay Yourself First We have direct deposit and our credit union will automatically transfer a set amount of money each pay period to our savings account. At first it hurt a little but now we don't even think about it. It's like another bill we pay except it's to ourselves! By Cheryl Many companies also have a payroll deduction savings plan with better interest, than you get downtown. Definitely worth checking out! DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The 185th Munich Oktoberfest!
___________________________________________________ >From Connie: Two guys are drinking in a bar. One says, “Did you know that lions have sex 10 to 15 times a night?” “Dang,” says his friend, “and I just joined The Elks!!” ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Barry for this story: A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane in a very slow fashion , she approached him for an interview. "Pardon me Sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN, What's your name? "Maury Fishbein" he replied. "Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?" "For about 60 years." "60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?" "I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the Wars and hatred to stop, I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man." "How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?" "Like I'm talking to a f@#$%^g wall." ____________________________________________________

Today, September 25 in
1493 Christopher Columbus left Spain with 17 ships on his second
voyage to the Western Hemisphere. 

1513 The Pacific Ocean was discovered by Spanish explorer Vasco
Nunez de Balboa when he crossed the Isthmus of Panama. He named
the body of water the South Sea. He was truly just the first
European to see the Pacific Ocean. 

1690 One of America's earliest newspapers published its first and
last edition. The "Publik Occurences Both Foreign and Domestik"
was published at the London Coffee House in Boston, MA, by
Benjamin Harris. 

1775 Ethan Allen was captured by the British during the American
Revolutionary War. He was leading the attack on Montreal. 

1789 The first U.S. Congress adopted 12 amendments to the
Constitution. Ten of the amendments became the Bill of Rights. 

1847 During the Mexican-American War, U.S. forces led by General
Zachary Taylor captured Monterrey, Mexico. 

1890 The Sequoia National Park was established as a U.S. National
Park in Central California. 

1890 Mormon President Wilford Woodruff issued a Manifesto in
which the practice of polygamy was renounced. 

1919 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson collapsed after a speech in
Pueblo, CO. The speaking tour was in support of the Treaty of
Versailles. 

1933 Tom Mix was heard on NBC Radio for the first time. His show
ran until June of 1950. 

1956 A transatlantic telephone-cable system began operation
between Newfoundland and Scotland. 

1957 300 U.S. Army troops stood guard as nine black students were
escorted to class at Central High School in Little Rock, AR. The
children had been forced to withdraw 2 days earlier because of
unruly white mobs. 

1973 The three crewmen of Skylab II landed in the Pacific Ocean
after being on the U.S. space laboratory for 59 days. 

1978 Melissa Ludtke, a writer for "Sports Illustrated", filed a
suit in U.S. District Court. The result was that Major League
Baseball could not bar female writers from the locker room after
the game. 

1981 Sandra Day O'Connor became the first female justice of the
U.S. Supreme Court when she was sworn in as the 102nd justice.
She had been nominated the previous July by U.S. President Ronald
Reagan. 

1983 A Soviet military officer, Stanislav Petrov, averted a
potential worldwide nuclear war. He declared a false alarm after
a U.S. attack was detected by a Soviet early warning system. It
was later discovered the alarms had been set off when the
satellite warning system mistakenly interpreted sunlight
reflections off clouds as the presence of enemy missiles. 

1986 An 1894 S Barber Head dime was bought for $83,000 at a coin
auction in California. It is one of a dozen that exist. 

1987 The booty collected from the Wydah, which sunk off Cape Cod
in 1717, was auctioned off. The worth was around $400 million. 

1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to impose an air embargo
against Iraq. Cuba was the only dissenting vote. 

1991 The U.N. Security Council unanimously ordered a worldwide
arms embargo against Yugoslavia and all of its warring factions. 

1992 In Orlando, FL, a judge ruled in favor of 12-year-old
Gregory Kingsley. He had sought a divorce from his biological
parents. 

1992 The Mars Observer blasted off on a mission that cost $980
million. The probe has not been heard from since it reached Mars
in August of 1993. 

1995 Ross Perot announced that he would form the Independence
Party. 

1997 NBC sportscaster Marv Albert pled guilty to assault and
battery of a lover. He was fired from NBC within hours. 

2001 Michael Jordan announced that he would return to the NBA as
a player for the Washington Wizards. Jordan became the president
of basketball operations for the team on January 19, 2000. 

2002 U.S. forces landed in Ivory Coast to aid in the rescue of
foreigners trapped in a school by fighting between government
troops and rebel troops. Rebels had attempted to take over the
government on September 19. 

2012 China launched its first aircraft carrier into service.

2018  smiled.


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Change wallpaper 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, September 23

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Man attempts to rape 76-year-old woman 
in SE Portland, daughter helps to 
fight him off

______________________________________________________
Today, September 23 in
1846 Astronomer Johann Gottfried Galle discovered the 
planet Neptune. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I like life. It's something to do. --- Ronnie Shakes ______________________________________________________ A police officer pulls over a car load of nuns.... Officer: "Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway -- why are you going so slow?" Sister: "Sir, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65." Officer: "Oh Sister, that's not the speed limit. That's the name of the highway you're on!" Sister: "Oh! Silly me! Thanks for letting me know. I'll be more careful." At this point the officer looks in the back seat where the other nuns are shaking and trembling. Officer: "Excuse me, Sister, what's wrong with your friends back there? They're shaking something terrible." Sister: "Oh, we just got off of highway 119." After he sent them on their way, the officer radioed in what had happened and could hardly contain his laughter. Then the dispatcher told him to go chase those nuns and shoot their tires out before they get to the 401. ------------- The 401 is the "Highway Of Heroes", where soldiers killed in action are brought from the airport to the coroners building in Toronto. Whenever there is a convoy of hearses with fallen soldiers, people pack the overpasses and salute. We also plant one tree along the Highway Of Heroes for each fallen soldier. The 401 is a fast freeway, but 401 km/h (244.5 mph) is a bit fast for elderly nuns. ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Cookie for this story: Only women of a certain era will fully appreciate this....true story. A Michigan woman and her family were vacationing in a small new England town where Paul Newman and his family often visited. One Sunday morning, the woman got up early to take a long walk. After a brisk five-mile hike, she decided to treat herself to a double-dip chocolate ice cream cone. She hopped in the car, drove to the center of the village and went straight to the combination bakery/ice cream parlor. There was only one other patron in the store. Paul Newman, sitting at the counter having a doughnut and coffee. The woman's heart skipped a beat as her eyes made contact with those famous baby-blue eyes. With a slow smile, the actor nodded graciously and the star struck woman smiled demurely. Pull yourself together! She chides herself. You're a happily married woman with three grown children, you're fifty years old, not a teenager! The clerk filled her order and she took the double-dip chocolate ice cream cone in one hand and her change in the other. Then she went out the door, avoiding even a glance in Paul Newman's direction. When she reached her car, she realized that she had a handful of change but her other hand was empty. Where's my ice cream cone? Oh for heavens sake did I leave it in the store? Back into the shop she went, expecting to see the cone still in the clerk's hand or in a holder on the counter or something. No ice cream cone was in sight. With that, she happened to look over at Paul Newman. His face broke into his familiar warm friendly grin and he said to the woman, "You put it in your purse." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ An elderly Jewish man is sitting on a park bench reading Louis Farrakhan's newspaper. His best friend walks by, sees the paper, and stops - in shock. "What are you doing reading that paper?" he says. "You should be reading the 'Jewish Journal'!" The elderly man replies, "The Jewish Journal has stories about anti-Semitism, problems in Israel - all kinds troubles of the Jewish people. I like to read about good news." His friend gasps, "WHAT good news could possibly be in that paper???" "Well, Farrakhan's paper says the Jews have all the money, the Jews control the banks, the Jews control the press, the Jews control Hollywood -- see? It's all *good* news!" ______________________________________________________ Just want to tell ya, Gullible Warming is out of fashion for a spell. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Krystal Milne, 33, Hampton, Virginia Man attempts to rape 76-year-old woman in SE Portland, daughter helps to fight him off A daughter helped her mom fight off a man, who broke into their southeast Portland home and attempted to rape the 76-year-old woman. On the night of Sept. 12, Barbara Stross woke up when she felt something plop down on her bed. "I thought for a minute there was an animal," the elderly woman said. But, she quickly realized there was a man inside her basement apartment and he was laying right on top of her. "He put his hand over my mouth, kept saying, ‘shh, shh.’" She said she began to scream for her daughter, Ingrid, who was upstairs in the main house. As she screamed, her attacker put his hands down on her neck, trying to strangle her. But, the 5-foot-tall, 100-pound woman, fought back. "I’m not used to putting up with being beaten up," she said. More than a week later, she still has the bruises. "There’s some scratches that are healing," Stross said. Hearing her mother’s screams, Ingrid Renan Clark, said she ran down the two flights of stairs to her mother’s detached apartment. She said, when she burst in the door, she began to scream aggressively. "I remember thinking I need to scream really low. I didn’t necessarily want him to know I was a woman." Renan Clark told FOX 12, she charged at the man, pushing him. The alleged attacker, who police have identified as 30-year-old Joseph Green Jr., ran away, leaving his pants on the bedroom floor. The two women said, they immediately locked the door behind him and called 911. According to court documents, a short time later, a Portland Police officer saw two men fighting and one of them was only wearing boxers. Police said, it turns out, Green tried to break into another home, just blocks away, but was confronted by the man who lives there. Stross and her daughter were driven to that second home, where Renan Clark was able to identify him as the man who attempted to rape her mother. Renan Clark told FOX 12 she knew her mother’s alleged attacker by name and had spoken with him on three occasions. According to her, he is homeless and, based on their previous interactions, she thought he was kind and gentle. Investigators said Green, who appeared in court on Friday, later confessed to breaking into the two women’s home and trying to have sex with Stross. Green is now facing at least a dozen felony charges and is due back in court in November. He is currently being held at the Multnomah County Jail. Although the two women were rattled by the attempted rape, they said they do not want to live in fear. "I don’t feel unsafe. I mean, we’re both strong women," Renan Clark said. They said, they’re going to enroll in free self-defense classes Portland Police Bureau offers and they encourage others to do the same.
From Fred Re: Change wallpaper Dear Webby: Could you please tell me how to put new wall paper on Gateway desktop. It is not a laptop I have a Windows 7 Thank you Fred Dear Fred Right-click a blank part of the desktop and choose Personalize. The Control Panel’s Personalization pane appears. Click the Desktop Background option along the window’s bottom left corner Click any of the pictures, and Windows 7 quickly places it onto your desktop’s background. Found a keeper? Click the Save Changes button to keep it on your desktop. If not, click the Picture Location menu to see more choices. Or, if you’re still searching, move to the next step. Click the Browse button and click a file from inside your personal Pictures folder. Most people store their digital photos in their Pictures folder or library. To make it easy on yourself, make a new folder, that is easy to find, for example C:\WALLS Whenever you see a suitable picture, for example in the Humor Letter, save it to that folder. Then, when you feel like changing the desktop wallpaper, you know where to find it. Click Save Changes and exit the Desktop Background window when you’re satisfied with your choices. Exit the program, and your chosen photo stays stuck to your desktop as the background. Have FUN DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Four older ladies are sitting around playing bridge. The first lady says, "You know girls, I have known you all a long time and there is something I must get off my chest. I am a Kleptomaniac. But, don't worry, I have never stolen from you and I never will; we have been friends for too long." The second lady says, "Well, since we are having true confessions here, I must get something off my chest too. I am a Nymphomaniac. But don't worry, I have not hit on your husbands. They don't interest me and never will; we have been friends for too long." "Well," says the third lady, "I, too, must confess something. I am a Lesbian. But do not worry, I will not hit on you. You are not my type. We have been friends too long for me to ruin our friendship." The fourth lady stands up, says, "I have a confession to make also. I am an uncontrollable gossip, and I have some phone calls to make!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A little girl was playing quietly while her mom and another lady friend were talking. The little girl let out a big fart. Her mother said "What do you say Suzy?", expecting the reply, "Excuse me." What she said instead was "Watch out, here comes another one!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Checkout Surprise No Jumping on The Mattress
While it's a lot of fun, don't let kids or adults jump on mattresses. It can permanently damage the supports inside the mattress and cause it to wear out faster. A small trampoline is much cheaper than buying a new mattress. It can also be dangerous. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Yakutsk: The coldest city in the world.
___________________________________________________ One day, Uncle Joe got fired from his construction job. His nephew asked him what happened. "You know what a foreman is?" he asked. "The one who stands around and watches the other men work?" "What's that got to do with it?" he asked. "Well, he just got jealous of me," Uncle Joe explained. "Everyone thought I was the foreman." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A big-game hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in- law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. The hunter picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife cried, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The stupid lion got himself in trouble, let him get himself out of it." ____________________________________________________

Today, September 23 in
1779 John Paul Jones, commander of the American warship Bon
Homme, was quoted as saying "I have not yet begun to fight!" 

1780 John Andre, a British spy, was captured with papers
revealing that Benedict Arnold was going to surrender West
Point, NY, to the British. 

1806 The Corps of Discovery, the Lewis and Clark expedition,
reached St. Louis, MO, and ended the trip to the Pacific
Northwest. 

1845 The Knickerbocker Base Ball Club of New York was formed by
Alexander Joy Cartwright. It was the first baseball team in
America. 

1846 Astronomer Johann Gottfried Galle discovered the planet
Neptune. 

1930 Flashbulbs were patented by Johannes Ostermeier. 

1951 The first transcontinental telecast was received on the
west coast. The show "Crusade for Freedom" was broadcast by
CBS-TV from New York. 

1952 The first Pay Television sporting event took place. The
Marciano-Walcott fight was seen in 49 theaters in 31 cities. 

1952 Richard Nixon gave his "Checkers Speech". At the time he
was a candidate for U.S. vice-president. 

1957 Nine black students withdrew from Little Rock Central High
School in Arkansas due to the white mob outside. 

1962 "The Jetsons" premiered on ABC-TV. It was the first
program on the network to be carried in color. 

1964 The new ceiling painting of the Paris Opera house was
unveiled. The work was done by Russian-born artist Marc
Chagall. 

1973 Overthrown Argentine president Juan Peron was returned to
power. He had been overthrown in 1955. His wife, Eva Duarte,
was the subject of the musical "Evita." 

1981 The Reagan administration announced its plans for what
became known as Radio Marti. 

1986 Japanese newspapers quoted Prime Minister Yasuhiro
Nakasone as saying that minorities lowered the "intelligence
level" of America. 

1990 Iraq publicly threatened to destroy Middle East oil fields
and to attack Israel if any nation tried to force it from
Kuwait. 

1991 U.N. weapons inspectors find documents detailing Iraq's
secret nuclear weapons program. The find in Baghdad triggered a
standoff with authorities in Iraq. 

1993 The Israeli parliament ratified the Israel-PLO accord. 

1993 Blacks were allowed a role in the South African government
after a parliamentary vote. 

1999 A 17-month-old girl fell 230 feet from the Capilano
Suspension Bridge in North Vancouver, British Columbia. The
girl had bruises but no broken limbs from the fall onto a rocky
ledge. 

2018  smiled.


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Underlined letter for hot keys 




Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, September 22

So far September has been cold and snowy. The "Gullible
Warming" cycle is definitely being replaced by the "Ice Age Is
Coming" cycle. Last time we were in that cycle in the early
70s, they blamed it on our muscle cars. What are they going to
blame it on this time, so that they can put the blame on you? 

It won't work on me. I know about the cycles, and I read the
Farmers Almanac. Invest in Snow Blowers! 30 years from now we
will have Gullible Warming again, but until then we are in a
cool cycle. 

Oh, right, it's all Trump's fault! That guy is too cool!

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Girlfriend caught using glitter & crayons 
to mail drugs to boyfriend in Hampton jail

______________________________________________________
Today, September 22 in
1903 Italo Marchiony was granted a patent for the 
ice cream cone. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Everyone rises to their level of incompetence. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) With donkeys, philosophers and politicians it is sometimes difficult to tell whether they are thinking really deep thoughts, or whether they have bottomed out. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ Anni suggested a book for Sam to read to enhance their relationship. It's entitled, 'Women are From Venus, Men Are Wrong' ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard," replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old lady standing nearby. "Grandma will pay the bill," she smiled. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ In a physics lab course, which involved light, electricity and magnetism, one requirement of the course was to read the week's experiment before coming to class. At one lab session the instructor wanted to see how many people had actually done so: "What are the two types of light?" he asked. The lab fell silent until one wise young man raised his hand and said, "Uhhh, Miller and Bud?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Krystal Milne, 33, Hampton, Virginia Girlfriend caught using glitter & crayons to mail drugs to boyfriend in Hampton jail A woman is accused of using glitter glue and crayons to get drugs to her boyfriend inside of the Hampton City Jail. Krystal Milne, a 33-year-old from Hampton was arrested on August 16. She is accused of attempting to mail suspected narcotics into the jail located on the 100 block of High Court Lane. Court documents reveal that a detective was monitoring a jailhouse phone call between inmate Robert Davis and his girlfriend, Milne. Documents state the two were discussing that narcotics be mailed to Davis while in jail. Milne is accused of telling him to pay special attention to the middle cloud in the picture and that she was going to try and “use glitter glue this time," according to documents. Hampton Police said Milne is the only one facing charges. The detective reportedly told the Sheriff’s Office to be on alert for mail being delivered to the jail. On August 16 the Sheriff’s Department said they received three letters sent from Milne to Davis and each one contained suspected narcotics as described in the phone call. Documents state the narcotics were concealed by using glitter glue and crayons. Milne was arrested for one count of delivery of drugs to a prisoner and possession of marijuana.
From Crystal Re: Underlined shortcut letters Dear Webby: I have used the underlined letters in menus as short-cut keys for ages. Now my dear but rather klutzy hubby did a whole lot of changes and somehow disabled them. He does not remember which of the dozens of changes he made could have caused that. Help! Crystal Dear Crystal Right-click the Desktop, choose Properties, and click the Appearance tab. Click the Effects button and remove the check mark from the line: Hide Underlined Letters for Keyboard Navigation Until I Press The Alt Key. Hit OK a bunch of times to step out of that and the underlines all appear, ready to be used for shortcuts. Have FUN DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
That bonehead reminded me of a letter Linda had sent me some time ago: >From Linda A relative called and asked me if I could loan her $400 to help her pay her rent. I told her...give me a minute let me check my account and I'll call you right back." Before I could check my funds, my aunt called and said, "Don't give her any money because she's lying". My aunt proceeded to tell me that she wants to use that $400 to get her boyfriend out of jail because she wants to be under the same roof with him for the holidays!!! So I thought about it for a minute, and decided to go ahead and give her the $400. I called and said, "Come on, I got you." A couple hours later, I got a call from the County Jail, and it was her... "Why did you give me counterfeit money?!" I replied with the best answer I could: "So you and your boyfriend would be under the same roof for the holidays. You're welcome."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Overheard at a Computer Store: "I want a game capable of holding the interest of my six-year- old, but it's got to be simple enough for his father to play, too." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Checkout Surprise Shop at Bakery Outlets If possible, buy your bread, hamburger and hot dog buns, etc. at a bakery outlet store. In my area, I can get a loaf of bread for .55, as opposed to over $1.00 or more at the grocery store. Go twice a month, and freeze the loaves. You'll save a bundle, and it's definitely worth the trip! By Marlene Ask your Bakery Outlet what days are their sale days. They quite often have much cheaper prices on these days. Also, if you have chickens you can get feed bread for next to nothing. Susan I vaguely remember bakery outlet stores. Good old days! Nowadays, where each supermarket gets their breads frozen, by the truckload, and thaws it out as needed, and refreezes leftovers, those bargains are history. No more sale days on bread, unless you get on REALLY good terms with staff there. There are no more bakers around. The bakers are maybe a thousand miles away. The stores just have staff thawing and heating frozen bread according to the schedule taped to the freezer by the manager. If you want actually fresh bread, go to Tim Hortons or Subway. Have FUN! DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
What Ali wore. I love this story, a man "dressed to the nines" everyday.
___________________________________________________ A couple went shopping at the mall. They decided to go their separate ways and meet two hours later. The husband was at their appointed meeting place at the appointed time, but there was no sign of his wife. After waiting for half an hour, he started looking for her but couldn't find her in any of the stores she usually frequented. Finally, thoroughly tired of looking for her, he approached a beautiful lady on a mall bench. He smiled at her and said, "Please, talk to me! Quick!" She said, "Why?" "Because I've been looking for my wife all over this silly mall and I can't find her," the man replied. "How will talking to me help you find your wife? I have absolutely no idea what she looks like, much less where she is." "I didn't think you did. However, every time I start talking to a beautiful woman, my wife instantly appears!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A Sunday school teacher asked her students why they had to be quiet during the Church service. One bright little girl replied "Because people are sleeping." ____________________________________________________

Today, September 22 in

1792 The French Republic was proclaimed. 

1862 U.S. President Lincoln issued the preliminary Emancipation
Proclamation. It stated that all slaves held within rebel
states would be free as of January 1, 1863. 

1903 Italo Marchiony was granted a patent for the ice cream
cone. 

1914 Three British cruisers were sunk by one German submarine
in the North Sea. 1,400 British sailors were killed. This event
alerted the British to the effectiveness of the submarine. 

1927 In Chicago, IL, Gene Tunney successfully defended his
heavyweight boxing title against Jack Dempsey in the famous
"long-count" fight. 

1949 The Soviet Union exploded its first atomic bomb
successfully. 

1955 Commercial television began in Great Britain. The rules
said that only six minutes of ads were allowed each hour and
there was no Sunday morning TV permitted. 

1961 U.S. President John F. Kennedy signed a congressional act
that established the Peace Corps. 

1966 The U.S. lunar probe Surveyor 2 crashed into the moon. 

1980 A border conflict between Iran and Iraq developed into a
full-scale war. 

1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan addressed the U.N. General
Assembly and voiced a new hope for arms control. He also
criticized the Soviet Union for arresting U.S. journalist
Nicholas Daniloff. 

1988 Canada's government apologized for the internment of
Japanese-Canadian's during World War II. They also promised
compensation. 

1990 Saudi Arabia expelled most of the Yemeni and Jordanian
envoys in Riyadh. The Saudi accusations were unspecific. 

1991 An article in the London newspaper "The Mail" revealed
that John Cairncross admitted to being the "fifth man" in the
Soviet Union's British spy ring. 

1992 The U.N. General Assembly expelled Yugoslavia for its role
in the war between Bosnia and Herzegovina. 

1994 The U.S. upgraded its military control in Haiti. 

1998 The U.S. and Russia signed two agreements. One was to
privatize Russia's nuclear program and the other was to stop
plutonium stockpiles and nuclear scientists from leaving the
country. 

1998 U.S. President Clinton addressed the United Nations and
told world leaders to "end all nuclear tests for all time". He
then sent the long-delayed global test-ban treaty to the U.S.
Senate. 

2018  smiled.


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Roboform 




Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, September 21
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Surgeon and girlfriend raped hundreds

______________________________________________________
Today, September 21 in
1792 The French National Convention voted to abolish 
the monarchy. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it. --- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001), ______________________________________________________ Goldblum was seated comfortably in his living room one evening when a rock crashed through the window and landed at his feet, amidst a shower of splintered glass. To the rock was attached a note: "Unless you pay us $10,000 according to instructions, we will kidnap your wife." After some thought, Smith sat down at his desk and penned a reply: "Gentlemen, Your rock of this date has been received. I don't have $10,000 busgeted for that project. However, keep in touch, as your proposition interests me." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple were being given a guided tour of Pico da Bandeira, one of the highest mountains in the Americas. Their guide pointed out where a young couple, petrified by lava, had been discovered. They had died in the act of making love. "How awful !" exclaimed the wife. "Si, but what a great way to spend eternity." added the guide." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Vickey for this one: "Watch out," the wife cautioned her husband, who was driving. "Don't you see that car is braking?" Then she snapped, "Don't pass that truck, his tire is wobbling." The husband turned on his CB and informed the trucker about his loose wheel. The wife, in a nasty mood because of a headache, was irritated by the incessant squealing of the CB. "Why do you always get so much static?" she asked. "Because," her long-suffering husband replied, "I'm married." ______________________________________________________ Boys need Fries. Watch their legs below the cardboard! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Grant W. Robicheaux, 38, Newport Beach, California Calif. Surgeon and Girlfriend May Have Raped Hundreds California prosecutors say Robicheaux drugged victims. We've all heard of a wolf in sheep's clothing," Orange County DA Tony Rackauckas told reporters Tuesday. "Well, a wolf can wear scrubs or doctor's clothing. Or a wolf can be a beautiful woman." Rackauckas announced that a prominent surgeon and his girlfriend have been charged with sexually assaulting two women and prosecutors suspect there could be many more victims, KTLA reports. Grant William Robicheaux, 38, and Cerissa Laura Riley, 31, have been charged with multiple felonies including rape by the use of drugs. Prosecutors say the couple worked in tandem to find victims, drug them, and bring them back to Robicheaux's apartment, where they videotaped sexual assaults. Robicheaux and Riley are accused of possessing large quantities of drugs, including GHB, cocaine, and ecstasy. Prosecutors tell the BBC that the suspects' phones yielded "thousands and thousands" of videos of possible victims. "There are several videos where the women in the videos appear to be highly intoxicated beyond the ability to consent or resist and they are barely responsive to the defendants' sexual advances," Rackauckas says. "Based on this evidence we believe there might be many unidentified victims out there." He says prosecutors believe the "defendants used their good looks and charms to lower the inhibitions of their potential prey." Robicheaux appeared in an episode of the Bravo reality series Online Dating Rituals of the American Male, reports People.
From Connie Re: Roboform Dear Webby: I have read where some people are having problems with RoboForm, so my question is: is it okay/safe to use? I seem to remember you saying you were going to research and see if there was something better. Since I've been trusting your advice for so long I've not updated to their version 8.5.3, should I do so or continue to wait? Thanks for all the advice. I certainly appreciate it. Nigle Dear Nigle RoboForm has become evil shit, that steals all your passwords. The totally incompetent morons redesigned it so that there is absolutely NO way to recover your master password if you or somebody washes it off your office wall. That makes it totally useless. Right now I am using Chrome to store my passwords. It uses the same Master password as my Gmail, and they have a civilized recovery, as long as you have an alternate email address. They will email it to that. No problem. Seems they have somebody with a brain working there. Have FUN DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A young doctor had just opened office and felt really excited. His secretary told him a man was here to see him. The young doctor told her to send him in. Pretending to be a busy doctor, he picked up the phone just as the man came in. "Yes, that's right. The fee is $200. Yes, I'll expect you ten past two. Alright. No later. I'm a very busy man." He hung up and turned to the man waiting. "May I help you?" "No," said the man, "I just came in to install the phone...."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Lori, the pert and pretty Nurse took her troubles to a resident psychiatrist in the hospital where she worked. "Doctor, you must help me." she pleaded. "It's gotten so that every time I date one of the young doctors here, I end up in bed with him. And then afterward, I feel guilty and depressed for a week." "I see." nodded the psychiatrist. "And you, no doubt, want me to strengthen your will power and resolve in this matter." "For God's sake, NO!" exclaimed the Nurse. "I want you to fix it so I won't feel guilty and depressed afterward." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Checkout Surprise Tired of being surprised by the total when you get at the checkout? Carry a small calculator and keep a running total as you go through the store. It eliminates the surprise (or shock) of hearing the total from the checker and also makes it easy to stick to your grocery budget. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
Yakutsk: The coldest city in the world.
___________________________________________________ Prayer One day three men were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do it. The first man prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river. "Poof!" God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours. Seeing this, the second man prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and ability to cross this river. "Poof!" God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about three hours. The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength, ability, a nd intelligence to cross this river." And Poof! God turned him into a woman. She looked at the map, walked a quarter mile upriver and across the bridge. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you." ____________________________________________________

Today, September 21 in
1792 The French National Convention voted to abolish the
monarchy. 

1784 "The Pennsylvania Packet and Daily Advertiser" was
published for the first time in Philadelphia. It was the first
daily paper in America. 

1893 Frank Duryea took what is believed to be the first
American gasoline-powered automobile for a test drive. The
"horseless carriage" was designed by Frank and Charles Duryea. 

1897 The New York Sun ran the "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa
Claus" editorial. It was in response to a letter from 8-year-
old Virginia O'Hanlon. 

1931 Britain went off the gold standard. 

1931 Japanese forces began occupying China's northeast
territory of Manchuria. 

1937 J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit" was first published. 

1949 Communist leaders proclaimed The People's Republic of
China. 

1961 Antonio Abertondo swam the English Channel (in both
directions) in 24 hours and 25 minutes. 

1964 Malta gained independence from Britain. 

1966 The Soviet probe Zond 5 returned to Earth. The spacecraft
completed the first unmanned round-trip flight to the moon. 

1973 Henry Kissinger was confirmed by the U.S. Senate to become
56th Secretary of State. He was the first naturalized citizen
to hold the office of Secretary of State. 

1981 The U.S. Senate confirmed Sandra Day O'Connor to be the
first female justice on the U.S. Supreme Court. 

1981 Belize gained full independence from Great Britain. 

1982 Amin Gemayel was elected president of Lebanon. He was the
brother of Bashir Gemayel who was the president-elect when he
was assassinated. 

1985 North and South Korea opened their borders for their
family reunion program. 

1993 Russian President Boris N. Yeltsin announced that he was
ousting the Communist-dominated Congress. The action was
effectively seizing all state power. 

1996 The board of all-male Virginia Military Institute voted to
admit women. 

2018  smiled.


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How do I find my IP number? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, September 20

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Ohio woman Charged In Sex Attack On Cabbie

______________________________________________________
Today, September 20 in
1519 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan left Spain to find
a route to the Spice Islands of Indonesia. Magellan was killed
during the trip, but one of his ships eventually made the
journey. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. --- George Carlin (1937 - 2008) In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice; In practice, there is. --- Chuck Reid ______________________________________________________ I was helping a friend of mine with his roadside farm stand when a man stopped by and asked how much the eggs were. "Sixty cents for the small, seventy cents for the medium, ninety cents for the large and thirty cents for the cracked ones," I answered. "All right," he said, "crack me a dozen of the large ones." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A waitress became violently ill while at work and was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room. In typical hospital fashion, she was placed on an examining table and then all but ignored for the next half-hour. Finally, she noticed a doctor out in the hall and yelled, "Please help me!" "Sorry," he replied, "it's not my table." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ For the second time in six weeks a man had fallen off his horse and broken some ribs. Coincidentally, the doctor in the emergency room at the hospital was the same both times. Since there isn't much that can be done for broken ribs, he prescribed a pain killer and sent the man on his way. As the man turned to leave, he jokingly asked, "Is there anything you can recommend for my horse?" The doctor paused and thought for a moment, then said, "If it were me, I'd get another rider." ______________________________________________________ Sunshine Skyway Bridge, Florida _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ A sad Bassett Hound was relating his troubles to his friend. "I'm really depressed all the time and I think negative thoughts. I'm always bored, I feel listless and I am always tired." "Why not go see a psychiatrist?" suggested the friend. "Well, I would," said the Bassett Hound, "except that I'm not allowed on the couch. ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Crystal Ely, 29, Jacksonville, Florida Woman arrested after trying to hire hitman to kill husband A 29-year-old Jacksonville woman was arrested Thursday after police said she attempted to hire someone to kill her husband. According to the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office, a man told police in August that Crystal Ely asked him for help finding someone to murder her husband, and JSO began an undercover operation. Ely unknowingly met with an undercover JSO officer four times in September -- reiterating her desire to have the officer kill her husband in exchange for money. An arrest report states she provided the undercover officer with a picture of her husband, a diagram of the inside of the business she and her husband worked at and instead of money she initially mentioned, she gave him a pair of earrings and two rings as payment. Each meeting was recorded in its entirety, police stated in the report. She was arrested at the fourth meeting on Sept. 13 after giving the officer the jewelry and picture of her husband, one including her family. Ely faces two capital felony crimes: criminal conspiracy and criminal solicitation. Ely, 29, is being held without bond, online jail records show. When found guilty, Ely will likely face up to 30 years in prison.
From Connie Re: My IP number Dear Webby: How can I find out what my IP number is ? Thanks Connie Dear Connie Because I get asked that question about once a week, I made a web site to tell you that number: http://webby.com/ip It is probably the fastest site on the net! If your ISP changes your IP frequently, or if you travel a lot, bookmark that site. Have FUN DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
At the airport check-in counter, I overheard a woman ask for window seats for both herself and her husband. The clerk pointed out that this would prevent them from sitting together. "Sweetie," the woman replied, "I've just spent 10 days of quality time in a compact rental car with this man. I *know* what I'm requesting!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"More trouble for Britney Spears. She was charged with not having a valid California driver's license. You know why Britney didn't have a license here in California? Because she's here legally." --- Jay Leno ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Trash Cans for Sorting Clothing Working as a secretary at an international airport, my sister had an office adjacent to the room where security temporarily holds suspects. One day security officers were questioning a man when they were suddenly called away on another emergency. To the horror of my sister and her colleagues, the man was left alone in the unlocked room. After a few minutes, the door opened and he began to walk out. Summoning up her courage, one of the secretaries barked, "Get back in there, and don't you come out until you're told!" The man scuttled back inside and slammed the door. When the security people returned, the women reported what had happened. Without a word, an officer walked into the room and released one very frightened telephone repairman. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
Yakutsk: The coldest city in the world.
___________________________________________________ >From Malcolm Thanks- here's an old one- something to read whilst I nip into BD-John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late. "Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John. "Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Tommy. The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair. "Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector. Now tell us where you really were after school." "We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy. "What did you watch?" asked Marsha. "The Ten Commandments," answered Tommy. The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair once more. With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen." "I am ashamed of you son," said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents." The robot then walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair. Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!" With that the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A minister who was very fond of pure, hot horseradish always kept a bottle of it on his dining room table. He offered some to a guest, who took a big spoonful. When the guest finally was able to speak, he gasped, "I've heard many ministers preach hellfire, but you are the first one I've met who passed out a sample of it." ____________________________________________________

Today, September 20 in
1519 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan left Spain to find
a route to the Spice Islands of Indonesia. Magellan was killed
during the trip, but one of his ships eventually made the
journey. 

1870 The Papal States came under the control of Italian troops,
leading to the unification of Italy. 

1921 KDKA in Pittsburgh, PA, started a daily radio newscast. It
was one of the first in the U.S. 

1946 WNBT-TV in New York became the first station to promote a
motion picture. Scenes from "The Jolson Story" were shown. 

1962 James Meredith, a black student, was blocked from
enrolling at the University of Mississippi by Governor Ross R.
Barnett. Meredith was later admitted. 

1963 U.S. President John F. Kennedy proposed a joint U.S.-
Soviet expedition to the moon in a speech to the U.N. General
Assembly. 

1967 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) was launched. It
went out of service on November 27, 2008. 

1977 The first of the "boat people" arrived in San Francisco
from Southeast Asia under a new U.S. resettlement program. 

1982 U.S. President Ronald Reagan announced that the U.S.,
France, and Italy were going to send peacekeeping troops back
to Beirut. 

1989 F.W. de Klerk was sworn in as president of South Africa. 

1992 French voters approved the Maastricht Treaty. 

1995 AT&T announced that it would be splitting into three
companies. The three companies were AT&T, Lucent Technologies,
and NCR Corp. 

1995 The U.S. House of Representatives voted to drop the
national speed limit. This allowed the states to decide their
own speed limits. 

2018  smiled.


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Durability of a DVD 




Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, September 19

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Ohio woman Charged In Sex Attack On Cabbie

______________________________________________________
Today, September 19 in
1876 Melville R. Bissell patented the carpet sweeper. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men. --- Max Beerbohm (1872 - 1956) ______________________________________________________ A customer in a bakery was observed carefully examining all the rich-looking pastries displayed on trays in the glass cases. When a clerk approached him and asked, "What would you like?" he answered, "I'd like that chocolate-covered, cream-filled doughnut, that jelly-filled doughnut and that cheese Danish." Then with a sigh he added, "But I'll take an egg to throw at that Pelosi poster." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two old men were arguing the merits of their doctors. The first one said, "I don't trust your fancy doctor. He treated old Jake Waxman for a kidney ailment for nearly a year, and then Jake died of a liver ailment." "So what makes you think your doctor is any better?" asked his friend. "Because when my doctor treats you for a kidney ailment, you can be sure you'll die of a kidney ailment." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Approaching the counter at a local post office, Text-End said to the stern-faced woman on the other side, "Are you the Postmistress?" "No!" she replied testily. "I'm the Postmaster. Uncle Sam doesn't pay me enough to be anyone's mistress." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ "So, Mullany, how's it going with the ladies?" "Women, to me, are nothing but sex objects." "Really?" "Yep," Mullany shook his head. "Whenever I mention sex, they object." ___________________________________________________ What is it with the Googly Eyes? Liars and users of a certain type of dope all pose with strenuously wide open Googly Eyes, imitating Pet Rocks. Is that a political statement or a left wing salute? An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brittany Carter, 23, Cory Jackson, 20, Findlay, Hanstock County, Ohio Ohio woman Charged In Sex Attack On Cabbie An Ohio woman has been charged with raping and robbing a male taxi driver while an accomplice held the victim at knifepoint, according to investigators. Brittany Carter, 23, was named this month in a two-count felony indictment charging her with aggravated robbery and rape in connection with the alleged attack earlier this year in Findlay, a city about 40 miles south of Toledo. According to cops, two black males and a white female called for a cab to pick them up at a TownePlace Suites hotel around 4:25 AM. During the subsequent trip, police allege, passenger Cory Jackson, 20, pulled out a knife and placed it against the 29-year-old driver's throat. While the victim was being held at knifepoint, Carter allegedly performed a sex act on the Trinity Express Cab Service driver. Before fleeing the vehicle, Carter and Jackson took $32 from the victim's pocket, police charge. The driver, cops say, was not injured during the incident. Carter's indictment accuses her of having purposely compelled the victim to engage in sexual conduct by force or threat of force. Jackson has been charged with aiding and abetting Carter's rape of the taxi driver. He has also been indicted for aggravated robbery. The third passenger will be charged once he is identified, police say. Pictured above, Carter is being held at the Hancock County jail in lieu of $60,000 bond. Carter was indicted twice last year on felony drug charges, according to court records that show both cases are pending. One indictment accuses Carter of possessing heroin, while the second indictment alleges that she allowed her vehicle to be used in the trafficking of heroin. Jackson, who remains at large, is also wanted on a murder warrant issued in a neighboring Ohio county.
From: Dianne Re: Durability of DVDs Dear Webby: I think it's time to remind your readers again that DVDs don't last forever. Some friends of mine lost irreplaceable pictures of a family reunion, because they entrusted them to a DVD. It was the last reunion for some of the people there, and they can't go back to re-take the pictures. It was heartbreak to find out that all those pictures are gone. Dianne Dear Dianne Yes, nobody ever claimed that DVDs or CDs would last forever. If they are handled carefully and stored in a cool, dark place, they last a long time, but if they are handled frequently or shipped, their life span goes down accordingly. The safest storage is a portable USB hard drive kept in a safety deposit box far away from the computer. Have FUN DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Below, are examples of sixth grade research projects. Enjoy... 9. Queen Elizabeth was the Virgin Queen. As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted hurrah. 10. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper. 11. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet is an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet. 12. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained. 13. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, A horse divided against itself cannot stand. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead. 14. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career. 15. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian and half English. He was very large. 16. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this. 17. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx invented Communist income tax so that the harder you work, the more days per week you work for the Government.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Five Jewish men who influenced the history of Western civilization. Moses said the law is everything. Jesus said love is everything. Marx said capital is everything. Freud said sex is everything. Einstein said everything is relative. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Trash Cans for Sorting Clothing To make laundry sorting easier and faster I have a blue 10 gallon trash can for blue jeans, a white one for whites, and a green one for everything else. It wasn't hard training my children to use them either (even the 17 year old!) By Angie Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
The Boab prison trees of Australia.
___________________________________________________ A woman and her five year old daughter were in a checkout line at a grocery store, when the young one became upset about something. She announced, "As soon as we get home I'm going to run away." Well, of course the best thing for the mother to do was to let her child come to her own realization that it wouldn't work, so she asked her, "Why wait until you get home. Why don't you just run away from here?" The child was ready with an answer, "Because I don't know my way to grandma's house from here." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Once there was a man who prided himself on having all of the latest gadgets for his car. One day a young man pulled up alongside his car in an old, beat up VW and waved a sheet of fax paper, yelling, "Look what I've got!" Not to be outdone, the man had a fax installed in his car that very afternoon. The next time he saw the VW, it was parked and the windows seemed to be steamed up. The man rapped on a window and when the young man appeared, waved a sheet of fax paper at him and said, "I've got one too." The young man gave him a disdainful look and said, "You got me out of the shower just to tell me that?" ____________________________________________________

Today, September 19 in
1356 The Battle of Poitiers was fought between England and
France. Edward "the Black Prince" captured France's King John. 

1777 The Battle of Saratoga was won by American soldiers during
the Revolutionary War. 

1876 Melville R. Bissell patented the carpet sweeper. 

1891 "The Merchant of Venice" was performed for the first time at
Manchester. 

1893 In New Zealand, the Electoral Act 1893 was consented to
giving all women in New Zealand the right to vote. 

1955 Argentina President Juan Peron was ousted after a revolt by
the army and navy. 

1957 The U.S. conducted its first underground nuclear test. The
test took place in the Nevada desert. 

1959 Nikita Khruschev was not allowed to visit Disneyland due to
security reasons. Khrushchev reacted angrily. 

1960 Cuban leader Fidel Castro, in New York to visit the United
Nations, checked out of the Shelburne Hotel angrily after a
dispute with the management. 

1982 Scott Fahlman became the first person to use :-) in an
online message. 

1983 Lebanese army units defending Souk el-Gharb were supported
in their effort by two U.S. Navy ships off Beirut.

1984 China and Britain completed a draft agreement transferring
Hong Kong from British to Chinese rule by 1997. 

1986 U.S. health officials announced that AZT, though an
experimental drug, would be made available to AIDS patients. 

1988 Israel successfully launched the Horizon-I test satellite. 

1990 Iraq began confiscating foreign assets of countries that
were imposing sanctions against the Iraqi government. 

1992 The U.N. Security Council recommended suspending Yugoslavia
due to its role in the Bosnian civil war. 

1994 U.S. troops entered Haiti peacefully to enforce the return
of exiled President Jean-Bertrand Aristide. 

1995 The commander of American forces in Japan and the U.S.
ambassador apologized for the rape of a schoolgirl committed by
three U.S. servicemen. 

1996 The government of Guatemala and leftist rebels signed a
peace treaty to end their long war. 

2002 In Ivory Coast, around 750 rebel soldiers attempted to
overthrow the government. U.S. troops landed on September 25th to
help move foreigners, including Americans, to safer areas. 

2003 It was reported that AOL Time Warner was going to drop "AOL"
from its name and be known as Time Warner Inc. The company had
announced its merger and name change on January 10, 2000
In the end, after Time Warner had harvested the AOL address 
books, list of advertisers and a few techs, they kicked them 
out. Eventually Verizon bought AOL becasue of their expertise 
in tech support.
2018  smiled.


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BokkmrING icon for FireFox 





Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, September 18

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

English rapist who took his child victim out to a 
nightclub and plied her with Jagerbombs until 
3am, has been jailed for 14 years.

______________________________________________________
Today, September 18 in
1759 The French formally surrendered Quebec to the British. 
They don't speak English just yet
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I get a lot of cracks about my hair, mostly from men who don't have any. --- Ann Richards ______________________________________________________ A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit.... Man: "Hi! Am I ever happy to see you." Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here a long time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?" Man: "It's been ten years!" With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man cigarette. Man: "Oh thank you so much!" Girl: "So tell me how long its been since you had a drink?" Man: "It's been ten years" The girl unzips a little longer zipper on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink. Man: "Oh... thank you so much. You are like a miracle!" Girl: [Starting to unzip the front of her wet suit.] "So tell me then, how long has it been since you played around?" Man: "Oh, my God, don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there too?!" ------------- Glad I am not playing golf! ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but we until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody." The next day, a guy from the electric company rings the doorbell, because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill: "Are you Mrs. Smith? You're a month overdue, you know!" "How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman. "Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the man from the electric company. "What are you saying? It's in your files?????" "Absolutely." "Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight." That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to the electric company offices the first thing the next morning. "What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts. "Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us." "PAY you? and if I refuse?" "Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut you off." "And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks. "I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ One of my first duties as an Air Force officer was to set up a field medical-training program at our hospital. I conducted a class in triage -- sorting out battlefield casualties according to the likelihood of survival. We had applied theatrical makeup to several airmen to simulate different wounds. Pointing to one of the "casualties," I said to the group, "This man has severe brain damage. What would you do with him?" Came this reply from the back of the class: "Make him an officer!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ The 104-year-old building that had served as the priory and primary student residence of the small Catholic university where I work was about to be demolished. As the wrecker's ball began to strike, I sensed the anxiety and sadness experienced by one of the older monks whose order had founded the college. "This must be difficult to watch, Father," I said. "The tradition associated with that building, the memories of all the students and monks who lived and worked there. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you." "It's worse than that," the monk replied. "I think I left my PalmPilot in there." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John Phoenix, 30 Leigh, Greater Manchester Britain English rapist who took his child victim out to a nightclub and plied her with Jagerbombs until 3am has been jailed for 14 years. John Phoenix, 30, coaxed the girl, 12, into a ‘long, protracted’ lesbian kiss (Oral sex) with his girlfriend after taking her drinking. He then took her back to his apartment, where she passed out. She woke up 14 hours later, with no recollection of what had happened. Tests showed that Phoenix had raped her while she lay unconscious. The court heard the girl’s ordeal began on September 21 last year after she met Phoenix on Snapchat. After swapping messages over a two week period, she was invited out for an evening at Cafe Stella club in Leigh. Police rescued the victim from Phoenix’s flat in Leigh, Greater Manchester following a three day search after her mother reported her missing the first night Phoenix sent a cab to pick her up. During the hunt, officers had made a public appeal for information about the girl’s whereabouts and Phoenix spotted a picture of her on social media which confirmed she was 12. He said: ‘Is that you?’ and she said ‘Yes’ – but he then kept her in his flat whilst he went out with friends. In England doors can be locked from the outside to prevent anybody from exiting, even in an emergency. When arrested he claimed he thought the girl was 17. She has since tried to kill herself. In a statement, the girl’s mother said: ‘This is every parent’s worst nightmare and I feel like I have failed in my parental duties. I felt so angry when he said that he thought she was 17. I am so worried about her, I have even contemplated sleeping by the front door just in case she tries to leave again. ‘She is so precious to me and I don’t want to hear how she blames herself for what happened and how she wants to die. When I found out what the female did to my daughter as well, I felt sick. I found it hard to comprehend.’ The girl said: ‘What happened with John Phoenix will change me forever; I thought he was a friend.
From: Neil Re: Get Firefox Bookmark Icon back Dear Webby: In the latest version of firefox click on the three bar menu, select options, drag the bookmarks star over to the box on the right hand side of the screen and click done at the bottom of the page. This will add the bookmarks star back where it belongs. Neil Dear Neil Thanks! Have FUN DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Below, are examples of sixth grade research projects. Enjoy! 1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. the climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. 2. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada. 3. Solomon had three hundred wives and seven porcupines. 4. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth. 5. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline. 6. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. 7. Julius Caesar extinquished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out Tee hee, Brutus. 8. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
An elderly parish priest was tending his garden near a convent when a passerby stopped to inquire after the priest's much-loved roses. "Not bad," said the priest. "But they suffer from a disease peculiar to this area known as the black death." "What on earth is that?" asked the passerby, anxious to increase his garden knowledge. "Nuns with scissors." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Tea Light in Pillar Candles If you like to decorate with large pillar candles, but don't like it when they get short, just let them burn down to the height you like, pour out the extra wax to form a hollow inside of the candle. Slip in a tea light and and your pillar candles will last a long time. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
Professionals at work.
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Barry for this story: Ted Nugent, rock star and avid bow hunter from Southern Michigan, was being interviewed by a French journalist and animal rights activist. The discussion came around to deer hunting. The journalist asked, 'What do you think is the last thought in the head of a deer before you shoot him? Is it, 'Are you my friend?' or is it 'Are you the one who killed my brother?' Nugent replied, 'Deer aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, 'What am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the French.' The interview ended at that point. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with a pet dog he doted on. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, the dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the creature?" Father Patrick replied, "No, we cannot have services for an animal in the church, but there's a new denomination down the road, no telling what they believe, but maybe they'll do something for the animal." Muldoon said "I'll go right now. Do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?" Father Patrick asked, "Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?" ____________________________________________________

Today, September 18 in
1759 The French formally surrendered Quebec to the British. 
They don't speak English just yet

1769 It was reported, by the Boston Gazette, that the first
piano had been built in North America. The instrument was named
the spinet and was made by John Harris. 

1810 Chile declared its independence from Spain. 

1830 The "Tom Thumb", the first locomotive built in America,
raced a horse on a nine-mile course. The horse won when the
locomotive had some mechanical difficulties. 

1850 The Fugitive Slave Act was declared by the U.S. Congress.
The act allowed slave owners to claim slaves that had escaped
into other states. 

1851 The first issue of "The New York Times" was published. 

1891 Harriet Maxwell Converse became the first white woman to
ever be named chief of an Indian tribe. The tribe was the Six
Nations Tribe at Towanda Reservation in New York. 

1895 Daniel David Palmer gave the first chiropractic
adjustment. 

1927 Columbia Phonograph Broadcasting System made its debut
with its network broadcast over 16 radio stations. The name was
later changed to CBS. 

1940 "You Can't Go Home Again" by Thomas Wolfe was published by
Harper and Brothers. 

1946 Mound Metalcraft was founded in Mound, MN. On November 23,
1955, the company changed its name to Tonka Toys Incorporated. 

1947 The United States Air Force was established as a separate
military branch by the National Security Act. 

1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush said that he would send
warplanes to escort U.N. helicopters that were searching for
hidden Iraqi weapons if it became necessary. 

1994 Haiti's military leaders agreed to depart on October 15th.
This action averted a U.S.-led invasion to force them out of
power.

1997 Ted Turner, U.S. Media magnate, announced that over the
next ten years he would give $1 billion to the United Nations. 

1998 The FDA approved a once-a-day easier-to-swallow medication
for AIDS patients. 

2018  smiled.


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Firefox bookmarking icon missing 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, September 17

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Russia's Dominos Pizza regrets telling 
customers they’ll get 100 years of pizza 
if they tattoo themselves with the Dominos logo

______________________________________________________
Today, September 17 in
1394 In France, Charles VI published an ordinance 
that expelled all Jews from France. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery. --- Dr. Joyce Brothers (1928 - ) Children are natural mimics who act like their parents in spite of every effort to teach them good manners. --- Socratex ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Out in space two alien forms are speaking with each other. The first spaceman says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons." The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?" The first spaceman says, "I don't think so...They have them aimed at themselves." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said. "Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked. "No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette." ----------- Don't feel bad. I have been a diabetic for about a dozen years, but I still have no clue what being light headed means. Smart-Ass I know, but light-headed???? ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ Benjamin is in the midst of a long dry spell in Las Vegas. Eventually he gambles away all his money and has to borrow a quarter from another gambler just to use the men's room. He finds a stall that happens to be open and pockets the quarter. Believing that his luck has finally changed, he puts the quarter in a slot machine and hits the jackpot. He takes his winnings and goes to the blackjack table and turns his modest winnings into a million dollars. Wealthy beyond his wildest dreams, Benjamin goes on the lecture circuit, where he tells his incredible story. He tells his audiences that he will always be eternally grateful to his benefactor, and if he ever finds the man, he will share his fortune with him. After months of speaking, a man in the audience jumps up and says, "I'm that man. I was the one who gave you the quarter." "Yes, I ! remember you well, but you aren't the one I'm looking for. I mean the guy who left the stall door open!" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dominos Pizza Russia Russia's Dominos Pizza regrets telling customers they’ll get 100 years of pizza if they tattoo themselves with the Dominos logo Domino’s Pizza have done a U-turn on a promotion that promised free pizzas for life to anyone who got a tattoo of their logo. The Russian branch of the fast food company promised those that got the inkings 100 free pizzas for the next 100 years. But it would appear the brand were not expecting so many people to take part, as they quickly had to change their promotion to the ‘first 350 people’ within days of it going live. And with many Russians desperate for their chance to have 10,000 free pizzas, the quota filled up at a rapid speed. ‘Friends, we already have 350 participants!’ Domino’s Russia urgently wrote on Facebook on September 10. ‘We are not receiving any new tattoos! ‘If you are at a tattoo artist’s and getting tattoos, we will include you in the list of participants. But we are waiting for pictures before 12:00 today. ‘For those [getting tattoos] later, we recommend cancelling the appointment, because unfortunately we will not be able to include you.’ The ‘Domino’s forever’ campaign had originally been due for two months, from August 31 until October 31. But while the promotion has now been officially closed, it would appear that some Russians have not quite got the memo. The latest image shared on Instagram was just four hours ago and is yet to warrant a reply from the company. While another picture posted yesterday depicting the logo embedded in a heart-shaped pizza has also been met with silence.
From: Bill Re: Firefox Bookmark Icon is gone Dear Webby: Until recently, I had a bookmark icon, a blue star, next to the address on all the Firefox pages. This has disappeared. How can I get it back? Thanks. Bill Dear Bill I have not used FireFox for probably half a dozen years, so I dusted it off and tried it again. Firefox Support has this to say: Bookmarks Icons disappeared | Firefox Support Forum | Mozilla Support https://support.mozilla.org/questions/1114505 Mar 16, 2016 - *"Remove from Toolbar" will remove this item from the Navigation Toolbar and moves it to the Customize palette ("3-bar" Firefox menu button > Customize) *"Move to Menu" will move this item to the "3-bar" Firefox menu button drop-down list *"Move to Toolbar" in the "3-bar" Firefox menu button drop-down list will move ... Have FUN DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
"Prison officials in New Jersey, this week, had to use tear gas to break up a prison riot. You know what they call tear gas in New Jersey? Air freshener." ---Jay Leno
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The young suitor was determined to win the heart of the woman he wanted to marry, in spite of her rejection of his proposal. He began what can only be called a "Campaign" and sent her a token of his affection every day for a month to her house. The plan was successful too -- the young lady fell in love with the UPS man. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cooking Different Cuts of Meat Tough cuts of meat are best cooked with moisture like stewing or using a slow cooker. The moisture will soften tough cuts of meat and make them more appetizing. Tender cuts of meat should be cooked with dry heat by pan frying, barbecuing or oven roasting. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
21 Simple but genius ideas that need to be implemented in every country immediately.
___________________________________________________ On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the level of gasoline in the under- ground tanks by lowering a giant measuring stick down into them. "What would happen if I threw a lit match into the hole?" I joked. "It would go out," he replied very matter-of-factly. "Really?" I asked, surprised to hear that. "Is there a lack of oxygen down there or some safety device that would extinguish it before the fumes ignited?" "No," my co-worker continued. "The force from the explosion would blow out the match." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Two fathers-to-be met in the maternity waiting room. "Can you believe this? The first day of our vacation, and she goes into labor!" The second one looks at the first and says, "What do you have to complain about? This is our honeymoon!" ____________________________________________________

Today, September 17 in
1394 In France, Charles VI published an ordinance that expelled
all Jews from France. 

1778 The United States signed its first treaty with a Native
American tribe, the Delaware Nation. 

1787 The Constitution of the United States of America was
signed by delegates at the Constitutional Convention. 

1862 The Battle of Antietam took place during the American
Civil War. More than 23,000 men were killed, wounded, or
missing. The Rebel advance was ended with heavy losses to both
armies. 

1872 Phillip W. Pratt patented a version of the sprinkler
system. 

1911 The first transcontinental airplane flight started. It
took C.P. Rogers 82 hours to fly from New York City to
Pasadena, CA. 

1930 Construction on Boulder Dam, later renamed Hoover Dam,
began in Black Canyon, near Las Vegas, NV. 

1932 Sir Malcolm Campbell set a speed record when he reached
276.27 mph over a half mile. 

1939 The Soviet Union invaded Poland. Germany had invaded
Poland on September 1. Germany's invasion caused Britain to
declare war against Germany and start WWII. Russia invading the
other half of Poland was considered traditional European border
re-arrangement and quite OK.

1944 Operation "Market Garden" was launched by Allied
paratroopers during World War II. The landing point was behind
German lines in the Netherlands. 

1953 The Ochsner Foundation Hospital in New Orleans, LA,
successfully separated Siamese twins. Carolyn Anne and
Catherine Anne Mouton were connected at the waist when born. 

1962 U.S. space officials announced the selection of Neil A.
Armstrong and eight others as new astronauts. 

1965 "Hogan's Heroes" debuted on CBS-TV. 

1966 "Mission Impossible" premiered on CBS-TV. 

1972 "M*A*S*H" premiered on CBS-TV. 

1976 NASA unveiled the space shuttle Enterprise in Palmdale,
CA. 

1983 Vanessa Williams, as Miss New York, became the first black
woman to be crowned Miss America. 

1984 9,706 immigrants became naturalized citizens when they
were sworn in by U.S. Vice-President George Bush in Miami, FL.
It was the largest group to become U.S. citizens. 

1984 Gordon P. Getty was named the richest person in the U.S.
His fortune was $4.1 billion. 

1992 Lawrence Walsh called a halt to his probe of the Iran-
Contra scandal. The investigation had lasted 5 1/2 years. 

1995 Hong Kong held its last legislative election before being
taken over by China in 1997. 

1997 Northern Ireland's main Protestant party joined in peace
talks. It was the first time that all of the major players had
come together. 

1998 The U.S. announced a plan that would compensate victims in
the Kenya and Tanzania U.S. Embassy bombings on August 7, 1998.


2018  smiled.


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Zoomable Fonts 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, September 16

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Man Disguised as Woman Caught Filming 
Victim in Gas Station Bathroom

______________________________________________________
Today, September 16 in
1400 Owain Glyndwr was proclaimed Prince of Wales after
 rebelling against English rule. He was the last Welsh-born
 Prince of Wales. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I know nothing about sex because I was always married. --- Zsa Zsa Gabor (1919 - ) - More quotations on: [Writing] Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963) There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking. --- Alfred Korzybski ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "You're in incredible shape," the doctor said. "How old are you again?" "I am 78." The man said. "78?" asked the doctor. "How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60 year old." "Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool off and I would go outside to settle down." the man explained. "What does that have to do with it?" asked the doctor. "I've pretty much lived an outdoor life." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A marketing survey specialist is asking Dan, a southern college kid, some questions about different products he uses. MSS - Which shaving cream do you use? Dan - Baba's MSS - Which aftershave do you use? Dan - Baba's MSS - Which deodorant do you use? Dan - Baba's MSS - Which toothpaste do you use? Dan - Baba's MSS - Okay, tell me, what is this 'Baba'? Is it an international company? Dan - Heck no. He's my room-mate. ______________________________________________________ From Dad: This one bloomed today _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ >From Ella Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency room, where tests were performed to determine the source of the pain. My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was wrong. When the results came back, the nurse informed us that, true to our suspicions, he was suffering from a kidney stone. I turned to my husband and asked, "Would you like me to call the funeral home now?" With a scornful look, the nurse turned to me and snapped, "Honey, he's not THAT sick!" ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Shawn Thomas Hallett, 38, Levelland, Texas Man Disguised as Woman Caught Filming Victim in Gas Station Bathroom Police arrested a man wearing a dress and wig after a woman accused him of filming her in the women’s bathroom of a Greenville, South Carolina, gas station. Shawn Thomas Hallett, 38, was arrested and charged with voyeurism after authorities received a call from the QuikTrip (QT) gas station on Academy Street near downtown Greenville, Fox Carolina reported. The victim said she was startled when she heard a male voice coming from a stall in which she could only see a pair of women’s shoes. Instead of leaving the bathroom, the victim used a different stall. But the woman said the situation escalated when she saw a hand holding a cell phone appear under the stall wall. Police took testimony from several witnesses who said they saw a man dressed as a woman leaving the bathroom. Greenville police found the accused near the gas station, still wearing the wig and women’s clothing. Police also said they found a video of the victim on Hallett’s cell phone.
From: Jay Re: Zoomable fonts Dear Webby I know you have used zoomable fonts for ages, but my webmaster insists that is not necessary if a computer is set up right. Well, my computer is set up the way I like it, and I can hardly read the pages on my company site. How do you make your fonts so that they can be zoomed? What do you suggest. Jay Dear Jay Dear Jay Some people claim to be webmasters, others ARE, and don't care what title you use for them. Using a word Processor and saving a WORD document as a web page is not the same as creating it with HTML. The same goes for kids using FrontPage. Basic stuff looks OK with it, but it's not quite up to standard and will bite you sooner or later. I would recommend that you get somebody who will do your site the way YOU want it, instead of implying that your computer is not set up right. That page you sent me to is useless. When I see something that is too small to read comfortably, and that can't be zoomed to a decent size, I'm out of there and on my way to a competitor. I have a hunch most people browse that way. Have FUN DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
While visiting a friend who was in the hospital, I noticed several pretty nurses, each of whom was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. I asked one nurse what the pin signified. "Nothing," she said with a smile. "It's just to keep the doctors away."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Frieda: When our second child was on the way, my wife and I attended a pre-birth class aimed at couples who had already had at least one child. The instructor raised the issue of breaking the news to the older child. It went like this: "Some parents," she said, "tell the older child, 'We love you so much we decided to bring another child into this family.' But think about that. Ladies, what if your husband came home one day and said, 'Honey, I love you so much I decided to bring home another wife.'" One of the women spoke up immediately. "Does she wash and iron?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Quick Homemade Waffles I have an eight year old and we're always rushed in the mornings, so I make up a batch of waffles ahead of time and freeze them in individual serving sizes. Then you take them out of the freezer and put them in the toaster and they come out awesome! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
Biltmore Estate's Secret Passages
___________________________________________________ During taxi, the crew of a US Airways departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. The irate lady who had the ground controller's spot at that moment screamed, "US Air 2771, where are you going? I told you to turn right on 'Charlie' taxiway; you turned right on 'Delta.' Stop right there! I know it's difficult to tell the difference between C's & D's, but get it right!" Continuing her lashing to the embarrassed crew, "You've screwed everything up; it'll take forever to sort this out. You stay right there and don't move until I tell you to! Then, I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?" The humbled crew responded, "Yes, Ma'am." The ground control frequency went terribly silent; no one wanted to engage the irate ground controller in her current state. Tension in every cockpit at La Guardia was running high. Then an unknown male pilot broke the silence and asked, "Wasn't I married to you once?" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A man walks out into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Vince." "Who?" "Vince Sabio. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Vince every single time." "There are always a few clouds over everybody." "Not Vince. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star." "He was something, huh?" "He had a memory like a trap. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which fork to eat with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole neighborhood blacks out." "No wonder you remember him." "Well, I never actually met Vince." "Then how do you know so much about him?" "I married his widow." ____________________________________________________

Today, September 16 in
1400 Owain Glyndwr was proclaimed Prince of Wales after
rebelling against English rule. He was the last Welsh-born
Prince of Wales. 

1620 The Mayflower departed from Plymouth, England. The ship
arrived at Provincetown, MA, on November 21st and then at
Plymouth, MA, on December 26th. There were 102 passengers
onboard. 

1630 The village of Shawmut changed its name to Boston. 

1782 The Great Seal of the United States was impressed on
document to negotiate a prisoner of war agreement with the
British. It was the first official use of the impression. 

1810 The Mexicans began a revolt against Spanish rule. Miguel
Hidalgo y Costilla, a Catholic priest of Spanish descent,
declared Mexico's independence from Spain in the small town of
Dolores. 

1893 The "Cherokee Strip" in Oklahoma was swarmed by hundreds
of thousands of settlers. 

1908 General Motors was founded by William Crapo "Billy"
Durant. The company was formed by merging the Buick and Olds
car companies. 

1940 U.S. President Roosevelt signed into law the Selective
Training and Service Act, which set up the first peacetime
military draft in U.S. history. 

1940 Samuel T. Rayburn of Texas was elected Speaker of the U.S.
House of Representatives. He served for 17 years. 

1953 "The Robe" premiered at the Roxy Theater in New York. It
was the first movie filmed in the wide screen CinemaScope
process. 

1974 U.S. President Ford announced a conditional amnesty
program for draft-evaders and deserters during the Vietnam War.


1976 The Episcopal Church formally approved women to be
ordained as priests and bishops. 

1982 In west Beirut, the massacre of hundreds of Palestinian
men, women and children began in refugee camps of the Lebanese
Christian militiamen. 

1985 The Communist Party in China announced changes in
leadership that were designed to bring younger officials into
power. 

1987 The Montreal Protocol was signed by 24 countries in an
effort to save the Earth's ozone layer by reducing emissions of
harmful chemicals by the year 2000. 

1990 An eight-minute videotape of an address by U.S. President
George H.W. Bush was shown on Iraqi television. The message
warned that action of Saddam Hussein could plunge them into a
war "against the world." 

1994 Exxon Corporation was ordered by federal jury to pay $5
billion in punitive damages to the people harmed by the 1989
Exxon Valdez spill. 

1994 Two astronauts from the space shuttle Discovery went on
the first untethered spacewalk in 10 years. 

1998 Universal paid $9 million for the rights to the Dr. Seuss
classics "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and "Oh, the Places
You'll Go." 

2018  smiled.


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Mac Forum 




Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, September 15

5 cm (2") snow. 
Where is the Gullible Warming when you need it?
Is the ice age really coming?

Not really, it's just cycles, like the Farmer's Almanac and all
the old folks predicted. The Gullible Warming cycle is
finished, now we have the Ice Age Scare cycle, like we did when
the  do-gooders got mad at our muscle cars in the 70's.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Man accidentally shot self while 
fleeing fficers in Delaware County


______________________________________________________
Today, September 15 in
1959 Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev arrived in the U.S. to
begin a 13-day visit. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One day a bachelor who was a poor tipper walked into his favorite restaurant and ordered lunch. A new waitress served his meal and received a three cent tip. When he came in the next day, she thanked him for his "generosity" and she said she could tell the character of a diner by the way he tipped. "Well, what could you tell about me?" he asked. "You put three pennies in a neat row," said the waitress, "and that shows you are a very tidy person. The first penny tells me you are a frugal, and the second tells me that you are a bachelor." "That's true," he agreed. "But what does the third penny tell you?" "The third penny tells me your Father was a bachelor, too." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ "We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a dime. By the time I was 14, I owned my own home." --- Gene Perret ______________________________________________________ Randa, Switzerland _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________ The father of a teenage daughter was concerned with the amount of time she spent on the telephone; not so much for the time she wasted (he had given up on that long ago), but because nobody else could use the phone. So, as a happy solution, he had a telephone installed for her with her own private number and directory listing. Two or three days after her telephone had been installed, he came home to find her stretched out on the floor with her feet on the living room couch and chatting away on the family telephone. Her own telephone was resting silently on her dresser. "Why are you using our telephone," he yelled. "Why aren't you talking on your own telephone?" "I can't," she said, "I'm expecting an important call on my phone." ___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Keon Williams, 20, Chester. Pennsylvania Man accidentally shot self while fleeing fficers in Delaware County Police say a man was injured after his gun went off while he was fleeing from officers on Saturday in Delaware County. According to the Upland Borough Police Department, an officer pulled over a white Lincoln Sedan for an expired inspection. After approaching the car the officer smelled marijuana, police say, and told both people inside the car to provide identification and step out of the vehicle. Police say that's when one of the men, 20-year-old Chester resident Keon Williams, fled the scene on foot. Officers were in pursuit when they say Williams pulled a semi- automatic firearm from his waistband, causing it to fire. The bullet hit Williams in his lower body. Police took Williams into custody and then sent him to the hospital for treatment of non-life-threatening injuries. Investigators say the gun Williams was carrying had been reported stolen. Williams was also in possession of drugs, drug paraphernalia, and more than $2,300 in cash. Williams is being charged with weapons possession, narcotics possession and related offenses.
From: Barbara C Re: Mac Forum Hi Webby, Barbara C can go to śApple Support Communitiesť and ask a question there or look for a similar question from someone else for the answers to her questions. There’s no cost involved. Have a great day! Best Regards, Patricia Dear Patricia She probably knows that, but I will tell her anyway. Most important is to get rid of the infection and pirating, that BestBuy and WebRoot were not able to control. She can have wise discussions on the Apple Support Communities after that. The people on that forum like Webroot, but we already know, that did not help. Have FUN DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at the grocery store!" "Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answers and Tom says, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of prunes?" "Which one? Dried or canned?".
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
During her annual checkup, a well-built lady was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table. "Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you." "That's all right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights. You get undressed and tell me when you're through." In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness, "Doctor, I've undressed. What should I do with my clothes?" "Your clothes?" answered the doctor. "Put them over here, on top of mine!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Buying Books Discount bookstores and used books stores usually sell books for half off cover price and online retailers can be even cheaper. The cheapest place to find books, by far, is garage sales and rummage sales. Books are usually only .25 to .50. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
Incredible Paper Art from Japan's Mr. Riu
___________________________________________________ The pastor's sermon focused on how God know's which of us grows best in the sunlight and which of us needs shade. "For example," he said, "roses must be planted in the sun, but fuchsias thrive in the shade." After the service, a woman, her face beaming, approached him. "Your sermon did me so much good," she said. Before he had time to gloat too much, however, she added, "I always wondered what was wrong with my fuchsias." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
After our friend Tom had been a temporary Bachelor for several weeks, we stopped by his Home to visit him. My wife asked if he was eating Properly. "Well, I do eat a lot of dog food," Tom Told her. "Dog food!" my wife exclaimed, horrified. "I can't believe you would be eating anything Like that!" "Come to the kitchen and I'll show you," Tom replied. Opening the refrigerator door, He waved his hand at a row of doggie bags from half of the restaurants in town. ____________________________________________________

Today, September 15 in
1776 British forces occupied New York City during the American
Revolution. 

1821 Costa Rica, Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua and El Salvador
proclaimed independence. 

1853 Reverend Antoinette Brown Blackwell was ordained becoming
first female minister in the United States. 

1857 Timothy Alder earned a patent for the typesetting machine.


1858 The first mail service begins to the Pacific Coast of the
U.S. under government contract. Coaches from the Butterfield
Overland Mail Company took 12 days to make the journey between
Tipton, MO and San Francisco, CA. 

1909 A New York judge ruled that Ford Motor Company had
infringed on George Seldon's patent for the "Road Engine." The
ruling was later overturned. 

1909 Charles F. Kettering applied for a patent on his ignition
system. His company Delco (Dayton Engineering Laboratories
Company) later became a subsidiary of General Motors. 

1916 During the Battle of the Somme, in France, tanks were
first used in warfare when the British rolled them onto the
battlefields. 

1917 Alexander Kerensky proclaimed Russia to be a republic. 

1923 Oklahoma was placed under martial law by Gov. John
Calloway Walton due to terrorist activity by the Ku Klux Klan.
After this declaration national newspapers began to expose the
Klan and its criminal activities. 

1928 Alexander Fleming discovered the antibiotic penicillin in
the mold Penicillium notatum. 

1935 The Nuremberg Laws were enacted by Nazi Germany. The act
stripped all German Jews of their civil rights and the swastika
was made the official symbol of Nazi Germany. 

1940 The German Luftwaffe suffered the loss of 185 planes in
the Battle of Britain. The change in tide forced Hitler to
abandon his plans for invading Britain. 

1949 "The Lone Ranger" premiered on ABC. Clayton Moore was the
Lone Ranger and Jay Silverheels was Tonto. 

1950 U.N. forces landed at Inchon, Korea in an attempt to
relieve South Korean forces and recapture Seoul. 

1953 The National Boxing Association adopted the 10-point
scoring system for all of its matches. 

1955 Betty Robbins became the first woman cantor. 

1959 Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev arrived in the U.S. to
begin a 13-day visit. 

1961 The U.S. resumed underground testing of nuclear weapons. 

1965 "Lost in Space" premiered on CBS TV. 

1965 "Green Acres" premiered on CBS TV. 

1971 Greenpeace was founded. 

1978 Muhammad Ali defeated Leon Spinks to win his 3rd World
Heavyweight Boxing title. 

1982 The first issue of "USA Today" was published. 

1983 The U.S. Senate joined the U.S. House of Representatives
in their condemning of the Soviet Union for shooting down a
Korean jet with 269 people onboard. 

1990 France announced that it would send an additional 4,000
soldiers to the Persian Gulf. They also expelled Iraqi military
attaches in Paris. 

1993 The FBI announced a new national campaign concerning the
crime of carjacking. 

1994 U.S. President Clinton told Haiti's military leaders "Your
time is up. Leave now or we will force you from power." 

1995 The U.N. Fourth World Conference on Women was held in
Beijing. 

1997 The domain name "google.com" was registered. 

1998 Ayatollah Ali Khamenei ordered the Iranian military to be
on full alert and massed troops on its border with Afghanistan.


1998 It was announced that 5.9 million people read The Starr
Report on the Internet. 606,000 people read the White House
defense of U.S. President Clinton. 

1999 The United Nations approved the deployment of a
multinational peacekeeping force in East Timor. 

2003 In Independence, MO, the birthplace of Ginger Rogers was
designated a local landmark. The move by the Independence City
Council qualified the home for historic preservation. 

2012 Legoland Malaysia opened in Nusajaya, Johor, Malaysia.

2018  smiled.


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