History of tabs in Chrome 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, December 17

Thank you,  Svend!

We had beautiful, thick frost this morning and all day.
Very festive looking!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to 
a Florida mother, who assaulted and kidnapped an 11 year old
kid for calling her daughter a name
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1957 The United States successfully test-fired the Atlas 
 intercontinental ballistic missile for the first time. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it. --- Flannery O'Connor (1925 - 1964) ______________________________________________________ The personnel manager was impressing the applicant with the prospective job. "We make parts for microscopes. You'll be required to work with lenses that are a thousandths of an inch thick." "I can handle it," the applicant said, "I used to slice meat in a delicatessen. I can slice ham so thin, it is kosher. ______________________________________________________ When my 3-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" Mom smiled and then replied, "Oh, I remember." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Snake Gourd (Trichosanthes cucumerina) ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Sandra Rivera, 28, Orlando Florida 11-year-old choked, kidnapped by woman at school A Florida mom is facing criminal charges after allegedly trying to kill an 11-year-old boy who teased her daughter. Sandra Rivera, 28, overheard the student call her 9-year-old daughter a curse word on Thursday afternoon outside of their school in Orlando, WKMG reports. Rivera allegedly responded by grabbing the boy and choking him, forcing him into her vehicle, according to WFTV. Orlando police arrested a woman accused of attacking a boy at his elementary school, threatening to kill him and kidnapping him. The incident happened Thursday after school at Eccleston Elementary near Bruton Boulevard in Orlando. Local 6 spoke to the 11-year-old boy and his mother, Ana Baez. According to the arrest affidavit, Orlando police say 28-year-old Sandra Rivera went to the school waiting to confront the fifth-grader because she said he called her 9-year-old a curse word. Baez says she saw video of the incident that was captured on the school's security cameras. "When I saw the video, I said no mercy, she's going to jail," Baez said. The 11-year-old says he was on his bike at the school when Rivera came up and threw him off. "She slammed me into the wall and then she came behind me and started choking me and hitting me on the head," the boy said. Police say Rivera then threw his bike in her van and forced him to get inside. "She told me 'tell me the instructions to your house or I'll kill you,'" he said. The fifth-grader says Rivera drove him home and then admitted to Baez what she had done. "Even if my son called your daughter a name, you come and you tell me," Baez said. "You don't go and grab the child and try and kill him. You're an adult." Baez called the school to see what had happened and school officials told her they were notifying police and the Department of Children and Families. Rivera was charged with battery and kidnapping, and bonded out of the Orange County Jail on Friday. No one answered the door when Local 6 stopped by. Baez says her son is doing fine physically, but the emotional trauma has taken its toll. She says he's having trouble eating and sleeping. "I'm actually scared she might come back for me, for calling the police," said the fifth-grader. For now, Baez says, her son will be getting rides to and from school. Tech Support Pits From: Richard Re: Chrome history of tabs Dear Webby How do I get a history of my tabs in Chrome? Thanks Richard Dear Richard CTRL H will give you a raw history. However, I would recommend you get the "Session Buddy" extension. It gives you an easier to manage history. It is free at Session Buddy Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Gift Wrapping Save and use maps, patterns, sheet music, comic strips or even wallpaper or fabric to wrap your gifts. We use brown kraft paper and draw or stamp holiday designs, paw prints or babies hand prints on to it to personalize it. Some folks add a copy of a photo as their name tags (which is cute especially so kids can hand out gifts). You may decorate a simple wrap with pine or holly sprigs or pine cones and tie it up with rustic twine, yarn or inexpensive white and red string for a natural looking gift wrapping. Remember to shred used wrapping paper for stuffing boxes or baskets. So pretty! If mailing a gift you may use newspaper shredded if needed rather than buying packing peanuts in some cases! By Dee [175] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ A Manager of a retail clothing store is reviewing a potential employee's application and notices that the man has never worked in retail before. He says to the man, "For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high wage." "Well Sir," the applicant replies, "the work is so much harder when you don't know what you're doing!" ______________________________________________________ RULES OF THE OFFICE ** If it rings, put it on hold; ** If it clanks, call the repairman; ** If it whistles, ignore it; ** If it's a friend, take a break; ** If it's the boss, look busy; ** If it talks, take notes; ** If it's handwritten, type it; ** If it's typed, copy it; ** If it's copied, email and file it; ** If it's Friday, forget it!


Bora Bora

Today in 
1777 To annoy England, France recognized American independence. 
1791 A traffic regulation in New York City established the first 
 street to go "One Way." 
1830 South American patriot Simon Bolivar died in Colombia. 
1895 George L. Brownell received a patent for his paper-twine
 machine. 
1903 The first successful gasoline-powered airplane flight 
 took place near Kitty Hawk, NC. Orville and Wilbur Wright 
 made the flight. 
1939 The German pocket battleship Graf Spee was scuttled 
 by its crew, bringing the World War II Battle of the 
 Rio de la Plata off Uruguay to an end. 
1944 The U.S. Army announced the end of its policy of 
 excluding Japanese-Americans from the West Coast which 
 ensured that Japanese-Americans were released from 
 detention camps. 
1953 The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) decided 
 to approve RCA’s color television specifications. 
1957 The United States successfully test-fired the Atlas 
 intercontinental ballistic missile for the first time. 
1969 The U.S. Air Force closed its Project "Blue Book" by 
 concluding that there was no evidence of extraterrestrial 
 spaceships behind thousands of UFO sightings. 
1973 Thirty-one people were killed at Rome airport when 
 Arab guerillas hijacked a German airliner. 
1975 Lynette Fromme was sentenced to life in prison for her 
 attempt on the life of U.S. President Ford. 
1976 WTCG-TV, Atlanta, GA, changed its call letters to WTBS, 
 and was uplinked via satellite. The station became the first 
 commercial TV station to cover the entire U.S. 
1978 OPEC decided to raise oil prices by 14.5% by the end 
 of 1979. 
1979 Arthur McDuffie, a black insurance executive, was fatally 
 beaten after a police chase in Miami, FL. Four white police 
 officers were later acquitted of charges stemming from 
 McDuffie's death. 
1986 Wayne "Danke Schoen" Newton won a $19.2 million suit 
 against NBC News. NBC had aired reports claiming a link 
 between Newton and mob figures. The reports were proven 
 to be false. 
1986 Davina Thompson became the world's first recipient 
 of a heart, lungs, and liver transplant. 
1986 Eugene Hasefus was pardoned and then released by Nicaragua. 
 He had been convicted of running guns to the Contras. 
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, Canadian Prime Minister 
 Brian Mulroney and Mexican President Carlos Salinas de Gortari 
 signed the North American Free Trade Agreement. 
1992 Israel deported over 400 Palestinians to Lebanese territory 
 in an unprecedented mass expulsion of suspected militants. 
1996 Peruvian guerrillas took hundreds of people hostage at the 
 Japanese embassy in Lima. The siege ended on April 22, 1997, 
 with a commando raid that resulted in the deaths of all the 
 rebels, two commandos and one hostage. 
1997 U.S. President Clinton signed the No Electronic Theft Act. 
 The act removed protection from individuals who claimed that they 
 took no direct financial gains from stealing copyrighted works 
 and downloading them from the Internet. 
2002 U.S. President George W. Bush ordered the Pentagon to have 
 ready for use within two years a system for protecting American 
 territory, troops and allies from ballistic missile attacks. 
2002 McDonald's Corp. warned that they would report its first 
 quarterly loss in its 47-year history. 
2002 Congo's government, opposition parties and rebels signed 
 a peace agreement that ended four years of civil war. 
2014  smiled.


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Restore lost tabs in Chrome 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, December 16

Some of the things you can do in Canada

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to 
Texan mother, who stashed body of daughter in fridge
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1850 The first immigrant ship, the Charlotte Jane, arrived 
 at Lyttleton, New Zealand. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
Most advances in science come when a person for one reason or another is forced to change fields. --- Peter Borden Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer. --- Charles Caleb Colton (1780 - 1832) ______________________________________________________ Larry goes to see his travel agent. "Hey Larry, going away on holiday again?" "Yes, but I need to ask for something different." "Go ahead ask me." "You know last year you suggested Hawaii and when I returned my wife was pregnant." "Yes, but. . ." "And the year before you suggested Bermuda and when I returned my wife was pregnant." "Yes, but. . ." "And the year before that I went to Bali and when I returned my wife was pregnant." "Yes." "Well! Could you suggest something cheaper this year so that I can bring her with me?" ______________________________________________________ Heard on Southwest Airlines, just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault . . . it was the asphalt!" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Candy Cane Sorrel (Oxalis versicolor) ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Amber Keyes, 35 Houston TX Charged After Daughter's Body Found In Fridge A Houston mother has been charged with neglect after her 9-year-old daughter's body was discovered stuffed inside a refrigerator. Amber Keyes is being held Wednesday on a charge of injury to a child-serious bodily injury. The 35-year-old Keyes hasn't been charged with killing her daughter, Ayahna Comb, but Houston police say the neglect charge is linked to her death. Ayahna weighed 14 pounds (9 year old!) when some children looking for food found her body in Keyes' refrigerator. An autopsy determined Ayahna, who had cerebral palsy, died of malnutrition and dehydration. Keyes says she found Ayahna unresponsive but couldn't revive her, so she wrapped the girl in a blanket and stashed her in the fridge. Bond is set at $50,000. Tech Support Pits From: Jon Re: Recover lost Chrome tabs Dear Webby When my computer did that rude reboot, after it restarted it opened Chrome trying to update Adobe, or finish the aborted update, that had been kaiboshed by the bad Windows update on the 10th. And all my open tabs were gone! How do I get them back? Jon Dear Jon Have not heard from you in many years! Hope you are well! Hit CTRL T and they pop up again. You might have to hit CTRL T more than once to get all of them back. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
Being a teenager and getting a tattoo seem to go hand in hand these days. I wasn't surprised when one of my daughter's friends showed me a delicate little Japanese symbol on her hip. "Please don't tell my parents," she begged. "I won't" I promised. "By the way, what does that stand for?" "Honesty," she said.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy Egg Salad for Sandwiches Next time you are cooking scrambled eggs, cook a double quantity and leave half to cool. These can then be mashed with your preferred mayonnaise and freshly ground black pepper to taste. It saves all the palaver of shelling boiled eggs, and is easier to mix into the bargain. I normally scramble my eggs with salted butter - if you prefer to use only skimmed milk, you may wish to add salt. If I am not planning to use the sandwich filling immediately, I will usually store in the fridge for up to three days, covered with cling film. By Verity Pink [18] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ >From Kim We purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared. One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up. "For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter." ______________________________________________________ On a Continental Flight with sme very "senior" flight attendants crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."


Ornate Dragons

Today in 
1653 Oliver Cromwell became lord protector of England, 
 Scotland and Ireland. 
1773 Nearly 350 chests of tea were dumped into Boston Harbor 
 off of British ships by Colonial patriots. The patriots 
 were disguised as Indians. The act was to protest taxation 
 without representation and the monopoly the government 
 granted to the East India Company. 
1809 Napoleon Bonaparte was divorced from the Empress 
 Josephine by an act of the French Senate. 
1835 In New York, 530 buildings were destroyed by fire. 
1838 The Zulu chief Dingaan was defeated by a small force 
 of Boers at Blood River celebrated in South Africa as 
 'Dingaan's Day'. 
1850 The first immigrant ship, the Charlotte Jane, arrived 
 at Lyttleton, New Zealand. 
1916 Gregory Rasputin, the monk who had wielded powerful 
 influence over the Russian court, was murdered by a group 
 of noblemen. 
1940 French Premier Petain arrested Pierre Laval after 
 learning of a plan for Laval to seize power and set up 
 a new government with German support. 
1944 During World War II, the Battle of the Bulge began 
 in Belgium. It was the final major German 
 counteroffensive in the war. 
1950 U.S. President Truman proclaimed a national state of 
 emergency in order to fight "Communist imperialism." 
1960 A United Air Lines DC-8 and a TWA Super Constellation 
 collided over New York City, killing 134 people. 
1973 O.J. Simpson broke Jim Brown’s single-season rushing 
 record in the NFL. Brown had rushed for 1,863 yards, while 
 Simpson attained 2,003 yards.
1985 Reputed organized-crime chief Paul Castellano was shot 
 to death outside a New York City restaurant. 
1990 Jean-Bertrand Aristide, a leftist priest, was elected 
 president in Haiti's first democratic elections. 
1996 Britain's agriculture minister announced the slaughter 
 of an additional 100,000 cows thought to be at risk of 
 contracting BSE in an effort to persuade the EU to lift 
 its ban on Britain. 
1998 The U.S. and Britain fired hundreds of missiles on Iraq 
 in response to Saddam Hussein's refusal to comply with 
 U.N. weapons inspectors. 
1998 Eric Michelman filed the earliest patent for a scroll 
 wheel for a computer mouse. 
1999 Torrential rains and mudslides in Venezuela left 
 thousands of people dead and forced at least 120,000 to 
 leave their homes. 
2000 Researchers announced that information from NASA's 
 Galileo spacecraft indicated that Ganymede appeared to 
 have a liquid saltwater ocean beneath a surface of solid 
 ice. Ganymede, a moon of Jupiter, is the solar system's 
 largest moon. The discovery is considered important 
 since water is a key ingredient for life. 
2000 U.S. President-elect George W. Bush selected Colin 
 Powell to be the first African-American secretary of state. 
 Powell was sworn in January 20, 2001. 
2001 In Tora Bora, Afghanistan, tribal fighters announced 
 that they had taken the last al-Quaida positions. More than 
 200 fighters were killed and 25 captured. They also 
 nnounced that they had found no sign of Osama bin Laden. 
2001 Cuba received the first commercial food shipment from 
 the United States in nearly 40 years. The shipment was sent 
 to help Cuba after Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba on November 
 4, 2001. 
2001 A British newspaper, The Observer, reported that a 
 notebook had been found at an al-Quaida training camp in 
 southern Afghanistan. The notebook contained a "blue print"
 for a bomb attack on London's financial district. 
2002 Canada ratified the Kyoto Protocol. The 1997 treaty 
 was aimed a reducing greenhouse gas emissions. 
2009 Astronomers discovered GJ1214b. It was the first-known 
 exoplanet on which water could exist.
2014  smiled.


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How to fix the bad Windows Update 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, December 15

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to 
NY teacher, who left her 3 kids alone while she went drinking.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1939 "Gone With the Wind," produced by David O. Selznick 
 based on the novel by Margaret Mitchell, premiered at Loew's 
 Grand Theater in Atlanta. The movie starred Vivien Leigh 
 and Clark Gable. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling. --- Arthur Brisbane A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand. --- Bertrand Russell ______________________________________________________ >From Dr Bill similar tale of minister doing funeral for the town reprobate; AFTER the usual liturgcal stuff he said "can;t say much about old Zeke except he did half of what Jesus did. The congregation was a littltle shaken to hear that and after internment a deacon was delegated to ask about it, after all, most foks would be overwhelmemed if they did a tenth of one percent. The minister replied, "it's only logical -- Jesus went about doing good -- old Zeke just went about!" ______________________________________________________ >From Elsienore DearWebby, I need that joke of the little brat hiding. The clean one, not the one where he is blackmailing. E Hi Elsinore Here it is: The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?" Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, Is your Daddy home? "Yes", whispered the small voice. "May I talk with him?" the man asked. To the surprise of the boss, the small voice whispered, "No." Wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?" "Yes", came the answer. "May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered, "no." Knowing that it was not likely that a young child would be left home alone, the boss decided he would just leave a message with the person who should be there watching over the child. "Is there any one there besides you?" the boss asked the child. "Yes" whispered the child, "A policeman. Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?" "No, he's busy", whispered the child. "Busy doing what? asked the boss. "Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer. Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece on the phone the boss asked, "What is that noise?" "A hello-copper", answered the whispering voice. What is going on there?" asked the boss, now alarmed. In an awed whispering voice the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper." Alarmed, concerned and more than just a little frustrated the boss asked, "Why are they there? Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle: "They're looking for me." ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture Chinese Lantern (Physalis alkekengi) ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Laura Aguero-Dupla, 35, Brooklyn NY Teacher left kids home all night to go drinking and get tattoo A middle school teacher in Brooklyn is being accused of endangering her three children by leaving them home all night while she went out drinking and to get a tattoo. Laura Aguero-Dupla, 35, allegedly went out Wednesday night with her husband, Alfredo Bobe, 41, and left her children, ages 4, 5 and 12 by themselves until early the next morning. While out on the town, Aguero-Dupla got a tattoo at a Lower East Side parlor and then went to a bar for "Whiskey Wednesday" event, the New York Post reports. At some point during their date night, Aguero-Dupla and Bobe got into a fight, and he stormed off back home around 2 a.m. Thursday morning. However, he didn't have his keys, so he punched out a glass panel on the front door. The shattering glass woke up neighbors who called 911, the York Daily News reports. Police arrived to find Aguero pacing outside the building while Bobe was inside the apartment. The couple was arrested after police learned the kids had been left home alone for hours, according to WPIX-TV. Aguero-Dupla was charged with three counts of endangering the welfare of a child, while Bobe was charged with acting in a manner injurious to a child. In addition, Aguero-Dupla has been removed from her classroom at Middle School 88 in Sunset Park. This isn't the first time the couple has been in trouble with the law. Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: How to uninstall the bad Windows Update? Dear Webby I too run Windows 7 and I feel that the referenced update was 'automatically' installed. How do I confirm? I've checked for 'current updates' and none are listed. I suspect it is installed since I'm having difficulties with Ancestry.com. But when I use Chrome, Ancestry works fine. Is there a way to 'un-install' the troublesome update? Then what and where do I check to ensure I don't have any additional updates automatically installed? Which box should I check mark going forward. Keep it simple for us amateurs. Merry Christmas Frank Dear Frank Chrome seems to be using a hard coded Flash player instead of the Java Run Time Unit, that Microsoft sabotaged, and is therefore immune against this particular Taliban sabotage. If you noticed anything abnormal with Windows Defender Flash Player FireFox Decompressing files Get an 8004ff91 error Problems installing updates to anything, then the Taliban has hit you. However, apparently the people in Redmond, Washington, have been told about it, and have frowned upon the evildoers, and a patch to fix the botched patch has been issued from the Throne. They claim the new update is OK. You can download and install the new KB3024777 update. It will uninstall the previous, faulty update and fix all the problems listed above. If you don't quite trust them and just want to get rid of the bad update, you can also perform a manual uninstall by navigating to Control Panel > Programs > Programs and Features > View Installed Updates, and then right-clicking on KB3004394 and selecting Uninstall. You can get the fix from http://www.microsoft.com/en-us/download/details.aspx?id=45305 To turn off automatic updates, open Windows Update by clicking the Start button In the search box, type Update, and then, in the list of results, click Windows Update. In the left pane, click Change settings. Turn them all off. If you have other programs. like for example McAfee, tracking updates, you have to turn them off there too. However, those are usually quite civilized and always give you the option to select and deselct individual updates. Before and especially after running the 777 fix, save everything every few minutes. Expect a rude, catastrophic reboot without any chance to say NO or to save even one file. Just BOOM. Blue BIOS screen, and gone. It won't happen immediately, might not be for a couple of hours. It's no big deal, you probably should do your monthly reboot anyway. It WOULD be a big deal, though, if you have a work in progress and not saved! After that catastrophic reboot suddenly the sabotaged updates, for example for Java or Adobe Flash, will start up on their own and proceed as if nothing bad had ever happened. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
A man and woman are having marriage problems, and decide to end their union after a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple goes to court to finalize their break-up. The judge asks the husband, "What has brought you to the point that you are now at, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?" The husband says, "In the six weeks we've been together, we haven't been able to agree on one thing." The wife yelled, "Six and a half weeks, you idiot!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Christmas Cards To save time year after year, save all Christmas cards received and start an electronic database on your computer. Then print out all address labels and use pinking shears or decorative scissors to cut the labels out into charming shapes to place on your Christmas card envelopes from now on! Makes it so much easier! Consider inviting friends over to 'CARD POOL' and address cards together with some wine and cheese and music for a good time to get in the holiday spirit. By Dee ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ The US has succeeded in building a computer able to solve any strategic or tactical problem. Military leaders are assembled in front of the new machine and instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it. They describe a hypothetical situation to the computer and then ask the pivotal question: Attack or Retreat? The computer hums away for an hour and then comes up with the answer: YES. The generals look at each other, somewhat stupefied. Finally one of them submits a second request to the computer: YES WHAT? Instantly the computer responded: YES SIR. ______________________________________________________ An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a young woman in her twenties and is contemplating a proposal. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asked a friend. "Your chances are better," said the friend, "if you tell her you're 90 and have a bad heart."


Ornate Dragons

Today in 
1654 A meteorological office established in Tuscany began 
 recording daily temperature readings. Al Gore ignored those, 
 because they are mere facts.
1840 Napoleon Bonaparte's remains were interred in 
 Les Invalides in Paris, having been brought from St. Helena, 
 where he died in exile. 
1854 In Philadelphia, the first street cleaning machine was 
 put into use. 
1877 Thomas Edison patented the phonograph. 
1890 American Sioux Indian Chief Sitting Bull and 11 other 
 tribe members were killed in Grand River, SD, during an 
 incident with Indian police working for the U.S. government. 
1939 "Gone With the Wind," produced by David O. Selznick 
 based on the novel by Margaret Mitchell, premiered at Loew's 
 Grand Theater in Atlanta. The movie starred Vivien Leigh 
 and Clark Gable. 
1944 A single-engine plane carrying U.S. Army Major Glenn 
 Miller disappeared in thick fog over the English Channel 
 while en route to Paris. 
1944 American forces invaded Mindoro Island in the Philippines. 
1944 Dr. R. Townley Paton and a small group of doctors laid 
 the groundwork for the Eye-Bank for Sight Restoration. 
1961 Former Nazi official Adolf Eichmann was sentenced to death 
 in Jerusalem by an Israeli court. He had been tried on charges 
 for organizing the deportation of Jews to concentration camps. 
1961 The U.N. General Assembly voted against a Soviet proposal 
 to admit Communist China as a member. 
1964 Canada's House of Commons approved a newly designed flag 
 thereby dropping the Canadian "Red Ensign" flag. 
1965 Two U.S. manned spacecraft, Gemini 6 and Gemini 7, 
 maneuvered within 10 feet of each other while in orbit around the Earth. 
1966 Walter Elias "Walt" Disney died in Los Angeles at the age of 65. 
1970 The Soviet probe Venera 7 became the first spacecraft to 
 land softly on the surface of Venus. The probe only survived 
 the extreme heat and pressure for about 23 minutes and transmitted 
 the first data received on Earth from the surface of another planet. 
1973 J. Paul Getty III was found in southern Italy after being held 
 captive for five months, during which his right ear was cut off 
 and sent to a newspaper in Rome. 
1978 U.S. President Carter announced he would grant diplomatic 
 recognition to Communist China on New Year's Day and sever 
 official relations with Taiwan. 
1979 The former shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, left the 
 United States for Panama. He had gone to the U.S. for medical 
 treatment on October 22, 1979. 
1979 In a preliminary ruling, the International Court of Justice 
 ordered Iran to release all hostages that had been taken at 
 the U.S. embassy in Tehran on November 4, 1979. 
1982 Gibraltar's frontier with Spain was opened to pedestrian 
 use after 13 years. 
1983 The last 80 U.S. combat soldiers in Grenada withdrew. It was 
 just over seven weeks after the U.S.-led invasion of the 
 Caribbean island. 
1992 IBM announced it would eliminate 25-thousand employees 
 in the coming year. 
1992 El Salvador's government and leftist guerrilla leaders 
 formally declared the end of the country's 12-year civil war. 
1995 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to take over the 
 peacekeeping operations in Bosnia. 
1995 French rail workers voted to end a three-week-old strike. 
1996 Boeing Co. announced plans to pay $13.3 billion to acquire 
 rival aircraft manufacturer McDonnell Douglas Corp. 
1999 Syria reopened peace talks with Israel in Washington, DC, 
 with the mediation of U.S. President Clinton. 
2000 The Chernobyl atomic power plant in Kiev, Ukraine, was shut down. 
2000 New York Senator-elect Hillary Rodham Clinton agreed to accept an 
 $8 million book deal with Simon & Schuster. The book was to be about 
 her eight years in the White House. The advance was the highest ever 
 to be paid to a member of the U.S. Congress. 
2001 It was announced that Siena Heights University would begin offering 
 a class called "Animated Philosophy and Religion." The two-credit class 
 would cover how religion and philosophy are part of popular culture and 
 is based on the television series "The Simpsons."
2014  smiled.


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Which Windows update is bad? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, December 14

If you haven't been out late last night to watch the 
Geminid meteor shower, you got another chance tonight.
Give yourself ten minutes for your eyes to adjust, 
and then enjoy the show. They are coming in at about 
100 per hour. No special equipment needed, just a 
warm coat and a thermos cup full of coffee.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to 
a Florida man who assaulted woman who 
suggested anger management class
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1903 Orville Wright made the first attempt at powered flight. 
 The engine stalled during take-off and the plane was damaged 
 in the attempt. Three days later, after repairs were made, 
 the modern aviation age was born when the plane stayed aloft 
 for 12 seconds and flew 102 feet. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
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Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ Minister at a funeral service, "Friends, let us say goodbye to our beloved, departed friend. Let us remember that here lies only the shell--the nut has gone!" ______________________________________________________ >From Nat When we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically that my sons make their beds each morning. I left for work before they left for school, and I wanted to be sure that the house looked presentable when the agent showed it to prospective buyers. I was surprised and impressed that my 15-year-old son's bed was perfectly made each day. One night when I went into his room, I discovered his secret. He was fast asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag. ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to George Robert Pineda 44 Ocala Florida Pineda Assaulted Woman Who Suggested Anger Management Class OCALA, Fla. (AP) — Police in central Florida say a man faces domestic battery charges after assaulting a woman during a discussion about anger management classes. The incident happened Tuesday night in a motel room in Ocala. The Ocala Star-Banner reports the 53-year-old woman and 44-year-old George Robert Pineda were discussing their futures while consuming alcohol. According to police, the woman mentioned that Pineda should take anger management classes. She told police he then started screaming profanities at her, grabbed her neck and choked her. She says she eventually pushed him away and when he fell asleep, she ran out and called police. Police say she had scratch marks on her neck. Pineda denied touching the woman and was taken to jail. Court records show he has several convictions, including aggravated battery. Tech Support Pits From: Jaxs Re: Which Windows Update is bad? Dear Webby Thanks for a GREAT SITE!! I run Windows 7, I have gotten an update with my auto update, it installed ok but really messed upped my computer. I can no longer make folders just briefcases, all my desk icons went to 800/600 pix. I did a restore everything went back to normal until it updated again. can you find out which update is causing this? Thanks jaxs Dear Jaxs Update KB3004394 is the bad one. Restore to before that, and turn Automatic updating off. One of the evil things it does is ignore what you have check-marked for updating. For example, if you deliberately took the checkmark off Skype, because you don't want the pufter version, it will put it on anyway. Until further notice, avoid all Microsoft updates. Apparently one group was sabotaging the victims and adding stuff, that nobody wanted, another group was trying to reduce the sabotage so as not to interfere with the Christmas time advertising revenue, and a third group pushed out the update, before the other two groups were finished with their evil deeds. What is really complicating things is that not everybody got hit with the same sabotage. Apparently a bunch of different stages of sabotage went out, each requiring a different fix. The result crippled Windows and won't allow normal decompression. Most updates of just about anything, not just Windows, arrive in compressed format, are uncompressed on your machine and then installed. That means ALL updates and fixes will have to be shipped in long format. That is not really a big problem if you have 25 Mbps DSL or cable, but will cause major hassles if you have 14 Kbps dial-up. Right now, for example, if you use FireFox, it's Java part got sabotaged, and you can not decompress an update. Eventually the good people at Java will make a long version available. Until then, you will just have to switch to Chrome if you want to listen to AccuRadio or watch movies. If you haven't gotten hit with Microsoft's KB3004394 Christmas gift, turn off automatic updates, and don't update ANYTHING until further notice. Microsofts 2014 Christmas gift is a definite dud. Feel free to tell them! Have FUN! DearWebby Have FUN! DearWebby
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A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue. Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Look for Early Editions of Encyclopaedia Britannica Hi, for everyone asking questions as to the value of Encyclopaedia Britannica sets, the basic guideline is that the 1st up until the 8th Editions have great collector values, defined by condition. The 9th and 10th Editions are so numerous that they are of small value; up to maybe $3-500 in good condition. Anything after the 11th, 12th, 13th (1910-1928) is basically worthless. By mrmima [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ "What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the cop handed him a speeding ticket. "Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get to buy a bicycle." ______________________________________________________ The young lady walked over to the hospital room where she knew her friend was. "May I see Irving, please?" she asked the woman blocking the door. "We don't allow anyone but relatives to see the patients," replied the woman. "Are you a member of the family?" "Why-er-why, yes. I'm his sister," said the lady. "Oh, I'm so glad to meet you," said the woman. "I'm his mother!


Christmas Lanterns:

Today in 
1503 Physician, astrologer and clairvoyant Nostradamus was 
 born at St. Remy, Provence, France. 
1798 David Wilkinson of Rhode Island patented the nut and 
 bolt machine. 
1900 Professor Max Planck of Berlin University revealed his 
 revolutionary Quantum Theory. 
1903 Orville Wright made the first attempt at powered flight. 
 The engine stalled during take-off and the plane was damaged 
 in the attempt. Three days later, after repairs were made, 
 the modern aviation age was born when the plane stayed aloft 
 for 12 seconds and flew 102 feet. 
1911 Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen became the first man 
 to reach the South Pole. He reached the destination 35 days 
 ahead of Captain Robert F. Scott. 
1939 The Soviet Union was dropped from the League of Nations. 
1959 Archbishop Makarios was elected Cyprus' first president. 
1962 The U.S. space probe Mariner II approached Venus. It 
 transmitted information about the planet's atmosphere and 
 surface temperature. 
1975 Six South Moluccan terrorists surrendered to police 
 after holding 23 people hostage for 12 days on a train 
 near the Dutch town of Beilen. 
1981 Israel annexed the Golan Heights, seized from Syria 
 in war in 1967. 
1983 The U.S. battleship New Jersey fired on Syrian 
 positions in Lebanon for the first time after American 
 F-14 reconnaissance flights were fired on. 
1986 The experimental aircraft Voyager, piloted by Dick 
 Rutan and Jeana Yeager, took off from California on the 
 first non-stop, non-refueled flight around the world. 
 The trip took nine days to complete. 
1987 Chrysler pled no contest to federal charges of selling 
 several thousand vehicles as new when Chrysler employees 
 had driven the vehicles with the odometer disconnected. 
1988 The first transatlantic underwater fiber-optic cable 
 went into service. 
1993 A judge in Colorado struck down the state's voter-approved 
 Amendment Two prohibiting gay rights laws, calling it 
 unconstitutional. 
1995 AIDS patient Jeff Getty received the first-ever bone-marrow 
 transplant from a baboon. 
1997 Iran's newest president, Mohammad Khatami, called for a 
 dialogue with the people of the United States. The preceding 
 Iranian leaders had reviled the U.S. as "The Great Satan." 
1997 Cuban President Fidel Castro declared Christmas 1997 an 
 official holiday to ensure the success of Pope John Paul II's 
 upcoming visit to Cuba. 
1999 U.S. and German negotiators agreed to establish a $5.2 
 billion fund for Nazi-era slave and forced laborers. 
1999 Charles M. Schulz announced he was retiring the "Peanuts" 
 comic strip. The last original "Peanuts" comic strip was 
 published on February 13, 2000. 
2000 It was announced that American businessman Edmond Pope 
 would be released from a Russian prison for humanitarian 
 reasons. Pope had been sentenced to 20 years in prison after 
 his conviction on espionage charges. 
2001 European Union leaders agreed to dispatch 3,000-4,000 
 troops to join an international peacekeeping force in 
 Afghanistan. 
2001 The first commercial export, since 1963, of U.S. food to 
 Cuba began. The 24,000 metric tons for corn were being sent 
 to replenish what was lost when Hurricane Michelle struck 
 on November 4. 
2013 The Chinese spacecraft Chang'e 3 became the first spacecraft 
 to "soft"-land on the Moon since 1976. It was only the third 
 robotic rover to land on the moon. 
2014  smiled.


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Bad Microsoft Update 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, December 13

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to 
Three Grinches Nabbed For 
Stealing Items From "Toys For Needy 
Children" Donation Box
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1577 Five ships under the command of Sir Francis Drake left 
 Plymouth, England, to embark on Drake's circumnavigation of 
 the globe. The journey took almost three years. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help. --- Judith Martin, ______________________________________________________ >From Robert I'm a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for visually impaired adults. Many participants have a condition known as macular degeneration, which makes it difficult for them to distinguish facial features. I had just been assigned to a new group and was introducing myself. Knowing that many in the group would not be able to see me well, I jokingly said, "For those of you who can't see me, I've been told that I look like a cross between Paul Newman and Robert Redford." Immediately, one woman called out, "We're not THAT blind!" ______________________________________________________ A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?" The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife and her mother." "What's he stuffed with?" asked the visiting hunter. "My mother-in-law" ______________________________________________________ Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
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______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Deandra Cooke, 18; Lacinda Granado-Overton, 25; and Tarica Wright, 26 Aledo, Illinois Three Grinches Nabbed For Stealing Items From "Toys For Needy Children" Donation Box A trio of women is facing theft charges for allegedly swiping items from a “Toys for Needy Children” donation box outside a Walmart in Illinois. According to cops in Aledo, the women stole the toys last night from a box that was placed in front of the retailer by a local Jaycees organization. The group distributes the collected toys to several hundred children in Mercer County, which is just south of the Quad Cities area. Police arrested Deandra Cooke, 18; Lacinda Granado-Overton, 25; and Tarica Wright, 26, in connection with the toy thefts. They were each hit with a felony theft charge and booked into county jail. All three defendants have previously been arrested for theft, according to court records. Pictured above, Cooke (left), Granado-Overton (center), and Wright (right) remain in the Mercer County lockup, where bond has not been set, according to a jail official. Tech Support Pits From: Eddie Re: Windows 7 users urged to uninstall broken update that wreaks havoc on software Dear Webby Is the currebt Microsoft update really bad? Eddie Dear Eddie Yes, it is. Skip it. Windows 7 users may have automatically updated themselves into a pickle with a recent patch from Microsoft. Microsoft has confirmed that the KB3004394 update it issued on December 10 can cause various problems. What's worse is that it may also prevent users from installing newer updates. The problems are reportedly limited to Windows 7 machines, and don't affect users running Windows XP. Although Microsoft didn't specify all the problems users have been experiencing, AMD's Robert Hallock said the update can prevent the system from installing new graphics drivers —which is particularly troublesome as AMD's feature-stuffed new Catalyst Omega drivers launched the same day the borked Windows update rolled out. According to Infoworld, users on Microsoft's support forums have pointed out a litany of other issues, including failure to launch Windows Defender, problems with running VirtualBox and strange errors from User Account Control. If you have not done the December 10 update, skip it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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A guy took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into a secluded area around midnight, the girl said, "My mother told me to say no to everything." "Well," he said, "do you mind if I put my arm around you?" "Uhhh . . . no," the girl replied. "Do you mind if I put my other hand on your leg?" "N-n-no," the girl stammered. "You know," Barry said, "We're going to have a lot of fun if you're on the level about this."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Inexpensive But Thoughtful Gifts Here are a few of my ideas for inexpensive but thoughtful gifts. A box of chocolates with a homemade card that says you're just too sweet for words. Give out cards with homemade coupons for neighbors, like one free night of babysitting, etc. depending on the needs of the person you're giving it to. Buy a tea towel and dish rag with a tag that says enjoy your new washer and dryer. Family theme boxes, for movie night add a movie, popcorn packages, and 2 litre of pop. You can do car wash baskets with items from dollar store like sponges, cleaning fluid, wax, etc. Use your imagination. Chocolate boxes with coffee mug, various chocolates, a book, and book mark, maybe a candle. By Tracy C. from Brockville, Ontario ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ On their cross-country road trip, a couple stopped for lunch at a roadside cafe in the southwest. They sat down at the counter and ordered coffee. While they were looking at the menu, a cowboy approached the counter, swung his long leg over the stool beside them and farted loudly. The tourist jump up and cried, "Sir, how dare you fart like that so rudely - before my wife!" The cowboy immediately jumped off the stool, bowed and tipped his stetson toward the woman. "Shucks, ma'am, I'm awfully sorry," he said. "But how was I supposed to know we was taking turns" ______________________________________________________ Two priests and a rabbi are playing poker in the park. Suddenly, a police officer approaches the trio and asks the first priest, "Father, were you gambling?" The padre glances skyward and mumbles, "Forgive me, Jesus," then turns to the officer and says, "No, my son, I was not gambling." The lawman then turns to the second priest and asks him if he was gambling. The priest looks toward Heaven and says under his breath, "Forgive me, Jesus," then tells the officer, "No, my son, I was not gambling." The policeman then turns to the rabbi and says, "Rabbi, were you gambling?" The rabbi looks from one priest to the other, then turns to the officer and asks, "With who?"


Christmas Train

Today in 
1577 Five ships under the command of Sir Francis Drake left 
 Plymouth, England, to embark on Drake's circumnavigation of 
 the globe. The journey took almost three years. 
1636 The United States National Guard was created when 
 militia regiments were organized by the General Court of 
 the Massachusetts Bay Colony. 
1642 New Zealand was discovered by Dutch navigator Abel Tasman. 
1809 The first abdominal surgical procedure was performed in 
 Danville, KY, on Jane Todd Crawford. The operation was 
 performed without an anesthetic. 
1816 John Adamson received a patent for a dry dock. 
1862 In America, an estimated 11,000 Northern soldiers were 
 killed or wounded when Union forces were defeated by Confederates 
 under General Robert E. Lee, at the Battle of Fredericksburg. 
1883 The border between Ontario and Manitoba was established. 
1884 Percy Everitt received a patent for the first coin-operated 
 weighing machine. 
1921 Britain, France, Japan and the United States signed the 
 Pacific Treaty. 
1937 Japanese forces took the Chinese city of Nanking (Nanjing). 
 An estimated 200,000 Chinese were killed over the next six weeks. 
 The event became known as the "Rape of Nanking." 
1944 During World War II, the U.S. cruiser Nashville was badly 
 damaged in a Japanese kamikaze suicide attack. 138 people were 
 killed in the attack. 
1964 In El Paso, TX, President Johnson and Mexican President 
 Gustavo Diaz Ordaz set off an explosion that diverted the 
 Rio Grande River, reshaping the U.S.-Mexican border. This 
 ended a century-old border dispute. 
1980 Three days after a disputed general election, Uganda’s 
 President Milton Obote was returned to office. 
1981 Authorities in Poland imposed martial law in an attempt 
 to crackdown on the Solidarity labor movement. Martial law 
 ended formally in 1983. 
1998 Puerto Rican voters rejected U.S. statehood in a 
 non-binding referendum. 
2000 Seven convicts, the "Texas 7," escaped from Connally 
 Unit in Kenedy, TX, southeast of San Antonio, by 
 overpowering civilian workers and prison employees. They 
 fled with stolen clothing, pickup truck and 16 guns 
 and ammunition. 
2001 The U.S. government released a video tape that showed 
 Osama bin Laden and others discussing their knowledge of 
 the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 
 11, 2001. 
2001 Israel severed all contact with Yasser Arafat. Israel 
 also launched air strikes and sent troops into Palestine 
 in response to a bus ambush that killed 10 Israelis. 
2001 Gunmen stormed the Indian Parliament and killed seven 
 people and injured 18. Security forces killed the attackers 
 during a 90-minute gunbattle. 
2001 NBC-TV announced that it would begin running hard liquor 
 commercials. NBC issued a 19-point policy that outlined the 
 conditions for accepting liquor ads. 
2014  smiled.


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Is Chrome safe to use as the main browser? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, December 12
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Wisconsin beer-battered man 
who blamed beer- battered fish
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
2001 In Beverly Hills, CA, actress Winona Ryder was arrested at 
 Saks Fifth Avenue for shoplifting and possessing pharmaceutical 
 drugs without a prescription. The numerous items of clothing 
 and hair accessories were valued at $4,760. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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We always like those who admire us; we do not always like those whom we admire. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) ______________________________________________________ A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. "Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out. "To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture. A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word and then continued. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school." ______________________________________________________ A sergeant was passing the barracks after lights out, when he heard some voices from inside. He slammed open the door, and screamed: Listen, you guys! A few minutes ago, you all heard me say good night. What you must realize, is that when I say "Good Night," what I really mean is "SHUT TH F*** UP!!!" The room instantly fell silent. But after a few seconds, a small voice could be heard from somewhere in the far back of the dark room: "Good Night, Sergeant" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Nanarina for this picture: Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to John Przybyla 75 ADAMS COUNTY, Wisconsin Beer-Battered Man Blames Beer- Battered Fish Motorist with nine DWI collars offered unique excuse to deputy DECEMBER 10--During a recent traffic stop, a Wisconsin motorist who has nine prior drunk driving convictions on his record explained that the reason a sheriff’s deputy smelled booze on his breath was because he had just eaten beer-battered fish at lunch. John Przybyla was pulled over by a cop who spotted the 75-year-old’s vehicle driving erratically. When the Adams County Sheriff’s Office deputy approached Przybyla--who was driving on a revoked license--he recognized the “smell of of an intoxicating beverage emitting from his breath.” Przybyla’s eyes were also bloodshot and glossy, according to a police report detailing the 2:30 PM traffic stop. During field sobriety tests, Przybyla “showed impairment.” Additionally, Deputy Brian Loewenhagen found an open can of Red Dog Beer on the truck’s passenger seat. When the deputy asked Przybyla (seen above) how much alcohol he had consumed, “John said he had not been drinking,” adding that he was heading home after attending a fish fry. Przybyla, Deputy Loewenhagen reported, “said he wasn’t drinking and had beer battered fish.” Przybyla, who himself appeared to be beer battered, was arrested after failing the field sobriety tests. While a Breathalyzer test recorded Przybyla’s blood alcohol content at .062--below the .08 limit--his history of DWI convictions prohibits him from driving with a BAC above .02. Along with his tenth drunk driving charge, Przybyla was booked on several other counts, including driving with a revoked license and possessing an open can of beer in a motor vehicle. Przybyla, who lives in the village of Friendship, is next scheduled for a January 21 court appearance. Tech Support Pits From: Fran Re: Is Chrome OK as the main browser? Dear Webby Is Chrome OK as the main browser? It seems to take some getting used to, but after that is pretty good. Fran Dear Fran Yes, Chrome is quite OK as the main browser, but don't get carried away un-installing FireFox! There are occasions, when you do need FireFox on the side. It is safe to UnInstall Internet Explorer, whenever they have a security issue, and forgetting to re-install it, but occasionally, about 1 % of the time, you do need FireFox. They don't clash or cause problems and co-exist nicely side by side. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Dear Ma and Pa: Am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for old man Minch. Tell them to join up quick before all the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m.( but am getting so I like to sleep late. All you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things -- no hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. The guys have to shave, but they say it is not bad in warm water, and after I thumped a few of them, they don't tell nobody about why I don't need to shave. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, beef, ham steak, fried eggplant, pie and regular food, but you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches," which, the Sgt. says, are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is a casual stroll about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys all get sore feet and we ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat. The Sgt. is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Kernels. and Generals just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why, the bull's-eye is near big as a chipmonk and don't move and it ain't shooting at you, like the Higsett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it, you don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer and Mary to hurry and join before others get onto this setup and come stampeding in. Your loving daughter, Pat
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Inexpensive But Thoughtful Gifts Here are a few of my ideas for inexpensive but thoughtful gifts. A box of chocolates with a homemade card that says you're just too sweet for words. Give out cards with homemade coupons for neighbors, like one free night of babysitting, etc. depending on the needs of the person you're giving it to. Buy a tea towel and dish rag with a tag that says enjoy your new washer and dryer. Family theme boxes, for movie night add a movie, popcorn packages, and 2 litre of pop. You can do car wash baskets with items from dollar store like sponges, cleaning fluid, wax, etc. Use your imagination. Chocolate boxes with coffee mug, various chocolates, a book, and book mark, maybe a candle. By Tracy C. from Brockville, Ontario ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Great Comeback This has got to be the all-time classic comeback. This is a recount of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who's about to sponsor a boy scout troop visiting his military installation. (Note: While this has been presented as a "true story" for several years, some people dispute that it actually happened). FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?" GENERAL REINWALD: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting." FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?" GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range." FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?" GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how, ....we will be teaching them proper rifle range discipline before they ever touch a firearm." FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers." GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute. How much do you charge? The radio went silent and the interview ended. ______________________________________________________ THE DVD PLAYER had conked out and we weren't able to watch the movie we'd rented. Then my husband had a brilliant idea: "Why don't we use the PlayStation?" We pushed all the buttons, but couldn't get it to work, so we gave up and went upstairs. We were reading in bed when our 17-year-old son appeared in our doorway. "Someone left a dirty DVD in my PlayStation," he said. "We were trying to watch a movie on it," my husband admitted, "but we couldn't get past the parental control screen." "What a shame," our son said as he smiled and closed the door.


Original Players

Today in 
1792 In Vienna, 22-year-old Ludwig van Beethoven received 
 one of his first lessons in music composition from Franz 
 Joseph Haydn. 
1800 Washington, DC, was established as the capital of the 
 United States. 
1896 Guglielmo Marconi gave the first public demonstration 
 of radio at Toynbee Hall, London. 
1897 The comic strip"The Katzenjammer Kids" (Hans and Fritz), 
 by Rudolph Dirks, appeared in the New York Journal for the 
 first time. 
1899 George Grant patented the wooden golf tee. 
1900 Charles M. Schwab formed the United States Steel 
 Corporation. 
1901 The first radio signal to cross the Atlantic was 
 picked up near St. John's Newfoundland, by inventor 
 Guglielmo Marconi. 
1915 The first all-metal aircraft, the German Junkers 
 J1, made its first flight. 
1917 Father Edward Flanagan opened Boys Town in Nebraska. 
1925 The "Motel Inn," the first motel in the world, opened 
 in San Luis Obispo, CA. 
1937 Japanese aircraft sank the U.S. gunboat "Panay" on 
 China's Yangtze River. Japan apologized for the attack, 
 and paid $2.2 million in reparations. 
1947 The United Mine Workers union withdrew from the 
 American Federation of Labor. 
1951 The U.S. Navy Department announced that the world's 
 first nuclear powered submarine would become the sixth 
 ship to bear the name Nautilus. 
1955 It was announced that the Ford Foundation gave 
 $500,000,000 to private hospitals, colleges and medical 
 schools. 
1955 British engineer Christopher Cockerell patented the 
 first hovercraft. 
1963 Kenya gained its independence from Britain. 
1975 Sara Jane Moore pled guilty to a charge of trying to 
 kill U.S. President Ford in San Francisco the previous 
 September. 
1982 20,000 women encircled Greenham Common air base in 
 Britain in protest against proposed site of U.S. Cruise 
 missiles there. 
1983 Car bombs were set off in front of the French and U.S. 
 embassies in Kuwait City. Shiite extremists were responsible 
 for the five deaths and 86 wounded. 
1984 In a telephone conversation with U.S. President Reagan, 
 William J. Schroeder complained of a delay in his Social 
 Security benefits. Schroeder received a check the following day. 
1985 248 American soldiers and eight crewmembers were killed 
 when an Arrow Air charter crashed in Gander, Newfoundland 
 after takeoff. 
1989 Britain forcibly removed 51 Vietnamese from Hong Kong 
 and returned them to their homeland. 
1989 Leona Helmsley was fined $7 million and sentenced to 
 four years in prison for tax evasion. 
1994 The Brazilian Supreme Court acquitted former President 
 Fernando Collor de Mello of corruption charges that had 
 forced him to resign in 1992. 
1995 The U.S. Senate stopped a constitutional amendment 
 giving Congress authority to outlaw flag burning and other 
 forms of desecration against the American flag. 
1995 Two French airmen shot down over Bosnia arrived home 
 after almost four months of being held captive by the 
 Bosnian Serbs. 
1997 Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, the international terrorist 
 known as "Carlos the Jackal," went on trial in Paris on 
 charges of killing two French investigators and a 
 Lebanese national. He was convicted and sentenced to 
 life in prison. 
1997 The U.S. Justice Department ordered Microsoft to sell 
 its Internet browser separately from its Windows operating 
 system to prevent it from building a monopoly of Web 
 access programs. 
1998 The House Judiciary Committee rejected censure, and 
 approved the final article of impeachment against U.S. 
 President Clinton. The case was submitted to the full 
 House for a verdict. 
2000 The U.S. Supreme Court found that the recount ordered by 
 the Florida Supreme Court in the 2000 U.S. Presidential 
 election was unconstitutional. U.S. Vice President Al Gore 
 conceded the election to Texas Gov. George W. Bush the next day. 
2000 Timothy McVeigh, over the objections of his lawyers, 
 abandoned his final round of appeals and asked that his 
 execution be set within 120 days. McVeigh was convicted of the 
 April 1995 truck bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Fedal 
 Building in Oklahoma City, OK, that killed 168 and injured 500. 
2001 Gerardo Hernandez was sentenced to life in prison for being 
 the leader of a Cuban spy ring. His conviction was based on his 
 role in the infiltration of U.S. military bases and in the 
 deaths of four Cuban-Americans whose planes were shot down 
 five years before. 
2001 In Beverly Hills, CA, actress Winona Ryder was arrested at 
 Saks Fifth Avenue for shoplifting and possessing pharmaceutical 
 drugs without a prescription. The numerous items of clothing 
 and hair accessories were valued at $4,760. 
2002 North Korea announced that it would reactivate a nuclear 
 power plant that U.S. officials believed was being used to 
 develop weapons.
2014  smiled.


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Password Manager 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, December 11

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Oregon dope facing heroin charges, who
brought syringe to court
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1981 Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st fight 
 to Trevor Berbick. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. --- Japanese Proverb ______________________________________________________ One in twentysix Irish drivers reports to have driven while sober on one or more occasion. ______________________________________________________ Kate goes over to visit one of her friends. While she is at her friend's house it starts to rain very heavily. Her friend tells her to spend the night at her house and go home the next day. When she hears this, Kate rushes out the door and comes a while later totally drenched and carrying a small shopping bag. So her friend asks "Where did you run off too?" "I went home to get my pajamas!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Nanarina for this picture: Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Durban Marion County, Oregon Oregon dope facing heroin charges brings syringe to court A man who came to an Oregon courtroom on Monday to be arraigned on a heroin possession charge will be needled about the visit for years to come. That's because Michael Durban, 23, allegedly showed up to the Marion Count Courthouse with a syringe and a cotton ball in his pocket, KPTV.com reports. Durban was going through a security screening when deputies allegedly found hypodermic needles and a cotton ball that they think contained heroin in his pocket, according to OregonLive.com. When the authorities pointed out the drug paraphernalia, the suspect allegedly said, “I got mixed up. I thought I left it in my car,” KATU.com reports. Durban, who was supposed to be arraigned on a drug charge, was arrested on the spot and charged with unlawful possession of heroin. He was taken to the Marion County Jail and is scheduled to be arraigned on the new charge Tuesday afternoon, the Statesman Journal reports. Tech Support Pits From: Noella Re: Password Keeper Dear Webby Good morning! I know you've mentioned this several times, but I've not paid any attention because I figured I'd never need it. Where is the best place for me to store my passwords "in the cloud"? Last night my cell phone account was hacked into and one of my passwords saved my account. I have all of them written on 3 x 5 cards at home. Since I live alone, I feel pretty safe. But I suppose anything could happen. Noella Dear Noella For password keeping I have used Roboform for about 15 years. http://roboform.com Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day an he done run outa night crawlers. He be bout reddy to leave when he seen a snake wit a big frog in his mouf. He knowed dat dem big bass fish like frogs, so he decided to steal dat froggie. Dat snake, he be a cotton moufed water moccasin so he had to be real careful or he'd get bit. He snuk up behine de snake and grabbed him roun de haid. Dat ole snake din't lak dat one bit. He squirmed and wrapped hisself roun Boudreaux's arm try'n to get hisself free. But Boudreaux, him, had a real good grip on his haid, yeh. Well, Boudreaux pried his mouf open and got de frog and puts it in his baitcan. Now, Boudreaux knows dat he cain't let go dat snake or his gonna bite him good, but he had a plan. He reach into de back pocket of his bib overhauls and pulls out a pint a moonshine likker. He pour some drops into de snakes mouf. Well, dat snake's eyeballs roll back in his haid and his body go limp. Wit dat Boudreaux toss dat snake into de bayou. Den he goes back to fishin'. A while later Boudreaux dun feel sumpin tappin' on his barefoot toe. He slowly look down and dare dat water moccasin was with two more frogs.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Candy Cane "Advent Calendar" Tree When our boys were too small to understand what an advent calendar was I still wanted a way for them to be able to count the days until Christmas. While we were decorating our tree, the boys had chosen to put candy canes on it. Then it came to me, why not put one on it for each of our two sons for each day until Christmas? When the last candy cane was left they knew the next day was Christmas. It didn't matter when we put up our tree we just counted the number of days left and adjusted. Of course those first years, the bottom of the tree was a little heavy with the candy canes compared to the top where they couldn't reach, but what did it matter? It worked great and we started a new tradition at our house. One year after they were gone from home, I had decided not to put to candy canes on the "fancy" tree. One of the boys stopped by, he told me point blank something was missing. Even with lace and bows, the candy canes were required decorations at our house, and I am so glad they remembered. Source: My sons and I, 30 years ago. By latrtatr from Loup City, NE ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you." Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot, "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes", said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot, "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the rottweiller Jesus." ______________________________________________________ 1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no? 2. How many birthdays does the average man have? 3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28? 4. How many outs are there in an inning? 5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister. 6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get? 7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with? 8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last? 9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left? 10. How many animals of each sex did Moses bring with him on the ark? 11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh? 12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen? 13. What was the President's name in 1960? =================== So how do you think you did in that quiz? Here are the answers.... 1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or No? Yes. It comes right after the 3rd. 2. How many birthdays does the average man have? One (1). You can only be born once. 3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28? Twelve (12). All of them have at least 28 days. 4. How many outs are there in an inning? Six (6). Don't forget there is a top and bottom to every inning. 5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? No. If she is a widow, he is dead. 6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get? Seventy (70). Thirty (30) divided by 1/2 is 60. 7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with? Two (2). You take two apples...therefore, YOU have TWO apples. 8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half and hour. How long will the pills last? One hour. If you take the first pill at 1:00, the second at 1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have run out and only an hour has passed. 9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left? Nine (9). like I said, all BUT nine die. 10. How many animals of each sex did Moses take? None. I didn't know that Moses had an ark. 11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh? Meat...that is self-explanatory. 12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen? Twelve (12). How many eggs are in a dozen? TWELVE...it's a dozen! 13. What was the President's name in 1960? George W. Bush. As far as I know, he hasn't changed his name.


Original Players

Today in 
1719 The first recorded sighting of the aurora borealis 
 took place in New England. 
1769 Edward Beran of London patented venetian blinds. 

1792 France's King Louis XVI went before the Convention, 
 which had replaced the National Assembly, to face charges 
 of treason. He was convicted and condemned and was sent 
 to the guillotine the following January. 
1844 Dr. Horace Wells became the first person to have a 
 tooth extracted after receiving an anesthetic for the dental 
 procedure. Nitrous Oxide, or laughing gas, was the anesthetic. 
1894 The world's first motor show opened in Paris with nine 
 exhibitors. 
1928 In Buenos Aires, police thwarted an attempt on the life 
 of President-elect Herbert Hoover. 
1930 The Bank of the United States in New York failed. 
1936 Britain's King Edward VIII abdicated in order to marry 
 American Wallis Warfield Simpson. He became the Duke of Windsor. 
1937 The Fascist Council in Rome, withdrew Italy from the 
 League of Nations. 
1941 Germany and Italy declared war on the United States. The 
 U.S in turn declared war on the two countries. 
1961 The first direct American military support for South Vietnam 
 occurred when a U.S. aircraft carrier carrying Army helicopters 
 arrived in Saigon. 
1967 The prototype of the Concorde was shown for the first time 
 in Toulouse, France. 
1973 West German Chancellor Willy Brandt and Czech Prime Minister 
 Lubomir Strougal formally nullified the 1938 Munich pact when 
 they signed a treaty sanctioning Hitler's seizure of 
 Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland. 
1981 Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st fight 
 to Trevor Berbick. 
1985 General Electric Company agreed to buy RCA Corporation for 
 $6.3 billion. Also included in the deal was NBC Radio and Television. 
1987 Charlie Chaplin's trademark cane and bowler hat were sold at 
 Christie's for Ł82,500. 
1988 62 people were killed in a Mexico City marketplace when tons of 
 illegal fireworks exploded. 
1990 Ivana Trump was divorced from Donald Trump after 12 years of 
 marriage. 
1991 Salman Rushdie, under an Islamic death sentence for blasphemy, 
 made his first public appearance since 1989 in New York, at a 
 dinner marking the 200th anniversary of the First Amendment 
 (which guarantees freedom of speech in the U.S.). 
1994 Thousands of Russian troops, armored columns and jets entered 
 Chechnya. The move by Moscow was an effort to restore control 
 the breakaway republic. 
1994 The world's largest free trade zone was created when leaders 
 of 34 Western Hemisphere nations signed a free-trade declaration 
 known as "The Miami Process." 
1997 Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams became the first political ally 
 of the IRA to meet a British leader in 76 years. He conferred with 
 Prime Minister Tony Blair in London. 
1997 More than 150 countries agreed at a global warming conference 
 in Kyoto, Japan, to control the Earth's "greenhouse gases." 
1998 Scientists announced that they had deciphered the entire genetic 
 blueprint of a tiny worm. 
1998 The Mars Climate Orbiter blasted off on a nine-month journey to 
 the Red Planet. However, the probe disappeared in September of 1999, 
 apparently destroyed because scientists had failed to convert 
 English measures to metric values. 
1998 Majority Republicans on the House Judiciary Committee pushed 
 through three articles of impeachment against U.S. President Clinton. 
2000 Mario Lemeiux, owner of Pittsburgh Penquins, announced that he would 
 end his three-plus year retirement and become an active National Hockey 
 League (NHL) player again. When Lemieux returned officially he became 
 the first owner/player in NHL history. 
2001 Ted Turner purchased 12,000 acres in Nebraska for Bison ranches. 
2001 It was announced that U.S. President George W. Bush would withdraw the 
 U.S. from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty with Russia. 
2001 Federal agents seized computers in 27 U.S. cities as part of 
 "Operation Buccaneer." The raids were used to gain evidence against an 
 international software piracy ring.
2014 Pirate Bay was busted and taken down.
2014  smiled.


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Excel versus Calc 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, December 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Louisiana Teen Killed By Train 
After Putting Coins On Tracks and 
putting his head too close
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1953 Hugh Hefner published the first "Playboy" magazine 
 with an investment of $7,600. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it. --- Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862) ______________________________________________________ On a recent evening a family sat in a darkened theater waiting to see the latest hit movie. As the screen lit up with a flashy ad for the theater's concession stand, they noticed the sound was missing. The unexpected silence continued for several moments. Then out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd demanded, "Okay, who's got the remote?" ______________________________________________________ God created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 40 years." The mule answered, "To live like this for 40 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was so. Then God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 30 years." And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 30 years as a dog is too much. Please, no more than 15 years." And it was so. God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are Monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years." And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years." And it was so. Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years." And the man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected." And it was so. And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 20 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like a clown to amuse his grandchildren. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Walter the Stonecarver for this picture: Click through for the big picture early morning, Rome airport, returning from a marble buying trip. Cell phone shot from the shuttle bus. If you want a really different Christmas present, check out Walter's "Dolce Mio". Not too late for shipping! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD and a Darwin Award goes to Brandt Torres 17 LIVONIA, La Louisiana Teen Killed By Train After Putting Coins On Tracks and putting his head too close A Louisiana teenager playing a game with friends on train tracks was killed this weekend when some equipment threw him under one of the cars. Law enforcement officials tell The Advocate that 17-year-old Brandt Torres and three friends had been placing coins on train tracks to watch them be crushed early Sunday. Torres lay on the ground inches from the passing cars. A ladder hanging off one of the cars caught him, tossing him under the train. He was just south of a Union Pacific rail yard in Livonia, and he died about 1:30 a.m. --------------- When I was about 6 or 7 I watched bigger kids, who had coins, put them on the rails. I didn't have coins, so I tried it with little rocks. I was crazy, not stupid, so I stood well back. Then a railroader caught me and beat the crap out of me, and claimed the hole in the wall on the second floor of the train station was from a rock put on the rails by a snot-nosed kid, and flung by a locomotive. I was quite impressed, and never did it again. Years later I found out the hole in the brick wall was from an American plane in WWII wasting ammo before fleeing into nearby Switzerland. That was 8 miles from Switzerland. So, if you see a snotnosed kid putting stuff onto the rails, do him a favor and beat the crap out of him! Tech Support Pits From: Tim Re: Excel versus Calc Dear Webby What is the difference between Microsoft Excel and Open Office Calc? Tim Dear Tim It is mostly a religious issue. Neither side is willing to listen to facts. Either program can handle your spreadsheet needs quite nicely. The difference I can see is that Open Office Calc can pick up old Excel spreadsheets quite nicely, work on them and even save them back in Excel format, not just in it's own Open Format. If you work in a mixed or international environment where you might encounter Excel, Lotus, Quattro, Calc, etc., then the choice is clear: Then you need Calc. However, if all you ever work on is the stuff on your own machine, then it makes absolutley no difference which spreadsheet program you pick, except that Calc is part of Open Office and is free. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store. Pete said to the salesman, "We really like it, but I don't think we can afford it." The salesman said, "You just make a small down payment, and then you don't make another payment for six months." Gladys wheeled around with her hands on her hips and said, "Who told you about us?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sorry, no new tips, just wanna-be novels. Removing a Sticky Residue Lemon essential oil removes sticky residues quickly and easily. Put 4 drops of the lemon essential oil onto a cotton ball. Hold the cotton ball onto the sticky residue for a couple seconds then rub in a circular motion until the residue is gone. I have successfully used this method for removing two sided tape from metal and also sticky residue from labels. By StellaBell [149] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon." Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, I have placed an order for them a couple of weeks ago." Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she asked about?" "Rapes in the parking lot." ______________________________________________________ A college professor asked his class a question. "If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York and Chicago is 1000 miles from Philadelphia and Los Angles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I?" One student in the back of the class raised his hand and when called upon said "Professor you're 44." The Professor said "You're absolutely correct, but tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?" The student said. "You see professor, I have a brother, he's 22, and he's half nuts."


Original Players

Today in 
1520 Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The 
 papacy demanded that he recant or face excommunication. 
 Luther refused and was formally expelled from the church 
 in January 1521. 
1845 British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the 
 first pneumatic tires. 
1898 A treaty was signed in Paris that officially ended 
 the Spanish-American War. Also, Cuba became independent 
 of Spain. 
1901 The first Nobel prizes were awarded. 
1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt became the first 
 American to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, for 
 helping mediate an end to the Russo-Japanese War. 
1939 The National Football League's attendance exeeded 1 
 million in a season for the first time. 
1941 Japan invaded the Philippines. 
1941 The Royal Naval battleships Prince of Wales and 
 Repulse were sunk by Japanese aircraft in the Battle of 
 Malaya. 
1953 Hugh Hefner published the first "Playboy" magazine 
 with an investment of $7,600. 
1958 The first domestic passenger jet flight took place in 
 the U.S. when 111 passengers flew from New York to Miami 
 on a National Airlines Boeing 707. 
1982 The Law of the Sea Convention was signed by 118 countries 
 in Montego Bay, Jamaica. 23 nations and the U.S. were excluded. 
1990 The U.S. Food & Drug Administration approved Norplant, 
 a long-acting contraceptive implant. 
1993 The crew of the space shuttle Endeavor deployed the 
 repaired Hubble Space Telescope into Earth's orbit. 
1995 The first U.S. Marines arrived in the Bosnian capital of 
 Sarajevo to join NATO soldiers sent to enforce peace in the 
 former Yugoslavia. 
1996 South Africa's President Mandela signed into law a new 
 democratic constitution, completing the country's transition 
 from white-minority rule to a non-racial democracy. 
1998 Six astronauts opened the doors to the new international 
 space station 250 miles above the Earth's surface. 
1998 The Palestinian leadership scrapped constitutional 
 clauses that rejected Israel's existence. 
1999 After three years under suspicion of being a spy for 
 China, computer scientist Wen Ho Lee was arrested. He was 
 charged with removing secrets from the Los Alamos weapons 
 lab. Lee later pled guilty to one count of downloading 
 restricted data to tape and was freed. The other 58 
 counts were dropped. 
2003 The U.S. barred firms based in certain countries, 
 opponents of the Iraq war, from bidding on Iraqi 
 reconstruction projects. The ban did not prevent companies 
 from winning subcontracts. 
2007 Cristina Fernandez was sworn in as Argentina's first 
 elected female president.
2014  smiled.


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Alternative to Office 365 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, December 9

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida woman, who butt-dialled 911 and confessed her
shoplifting and meth making. And then thought getting 
mug shotted in jail was a good time to get a glamor shot.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1960 Sperry Rand Corporation unveiled a new computer, known as 
 "Univac 1107." 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) ______________________________________________________ Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance team's response times. "Since we installed our new satellite navigation system," bragged the first one, "we cut our emergency response time by ten percent." The other paramedics nodded in approval. "Not bad," the second paramedic commented. "But by using a computer model of traffic patterns, we've cut our average ERT by 20 percent." Again, the other team members gave their congratulations, until the third paramedic said, "That's nothing! Since our ambulance driver passed the bar exam, we've cut our emergency response time in half!" ______________________________________________________ Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!" "That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in the living room and tell me about it." "Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math, and 20 in science." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Brenda for this pictureof one of her horses: Click through for the big picture Silvers Moon Queen, young Tennessee Walking Horse Mare Brenda's site is at http://triangle-b.com ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to mugging for her mugshot in jail Ashley Malcolm, 25 Oak Hill, Florida Pocket dial to 9-1-1 leads to arrest of Volusia County shoplifting suspect A pocket dial to 9-1-1 by an Oak Hill woman who admittedly stole from a New Smyrna Beach Wal-Mart helped authorities track down the suspect, according to the call released by the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office. Ashley Malcolm, 25, was in the process of hopping into her getaway vehicle when the call to 9-1-1 began Tuesday afternoon, authorities said. Malcolm orders her friend to get into the truck and drive away from the store at 3155 State Road 44, according to the call, which is longer than 18 minutes. “Slow the [expletive] down,” Malcolm tells the driver. “Please just drive normal.” Throughout the call, Malcolm can be heard barking orders to her friend on which streets to take. When the unidentified friend yells at Malcolm to stop yelling at him, Malcolm snaps at him. “You’re not in trouble right now,” shesays. “You had nothing to do with it. You weren’t inside Wal-Mart stealing.” Malcolm goes on to tell her friend that all they have is his license tag number, and she can just tell police she asked for a ride and that he had no knowledge of her plans. The woman also talks about the chemicals in the truck to make methamphetamine, which she said she does not want to get arrested for, according to her 9-1-1 call. After authorities tracked down the truck, Malcolm was charged with retail theft and unlawful possession of chemicals, records show. She was being held Friday evening in the Volusia County Branch Jail on $3,000 bail. The driver was not arrested. Tech Support Pits From: Lynne Re: Office 365 Dear Webby Dear Webby, We are senior’s and we have been searching for an office program that has all the Microsoft programs – outlook, publisher, excel, word etc. that is within our pocketbook range We have come across the program “Office 365”. Have you heard of this program? It sounds too good to be true!! Do you know the pro’s and con’s. We have read that it is Cloud based, we haven’t Cloud for anything yet. Is it safe?? We have learned so much from your web page. It has been always easy to understand the answers from you. Have a Merry Christmas and the best ever year ahead!! Minnesota Grams Dear Lynne Office365 is just the name for the current Microsoft Office. Microsoft is trying to come up to the same level as Open Office. The biggest difference is that Open Office is free, Microsoft Office 365 is expensive. While Europe and Asia has been using Open Office for many years, in NorthAmerica a lot of people are still tied to Microsoft. However, there is no need to be afraid. You can pick up your Excel files with Open Office Calc, and even save them back as Excel files. The same goes for WORD docs. You simply use Writer. Open Office is at http://www.openoffice.org/ For email you can use Thunderbird https://www.mozilla.org/en-US/thunderbird/ It too is free, or Gmail, or ProtinMail, or even Eudora, like I have been using since 1993. You are totally free to use whichever email program you want, even the silly Incredimail with their emoticons. Re Cloud, don't let the con artists confuse you with fashionable catch-words. If your email is webmail at Comcast, like it has been for the last 20 years, then it is "on the cloud". Ho, hum. No big deal. When your ISP allows you a web page, or a few, and you keep stuff up there, that is "on the cloud". If you use ANY online back-up or sync service, that is "on the cloud." When you want a picture or article from the Humor Letter from 5 years ago, you look in the archive at http://webby.com/humor/blog That is "on the cloud". Basically, anything, that is not on your computer, is "on the cloud". Old hat, everybody has been using it for decades, just a fashionable catch phrase. "On the cloud" has some importance when somebody works from many different places and computers, and needs access to their documents from all those different computers. It is no big deal, just rather slow compared to having the documents on your computer. Even Google Docs work like that, and have for years. Cloud is just a fashionable catch phrase used by some used car salesmen and Microsoft. New and improved air in the muffler of Microsoft Office 365! Just use Open Office and save your money for something else. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Hailey, 4, heard a thunderstorm rumbling overhead and asked her parents and grandparents to listen to it. After the thunder stopped, Hailey told everyone to be quiet for a minute and she began to pray and asked God to stop the thunder and lightning. Immediately after she said "Amen," another clap of thunder was heard. Hailey looked up towards heaven and said, "You're not listening!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing a Sticky Residue Lemon essential oil removes sticky residues quickly and easily. Put 4 drops of the lemon essential oil onto a cotton ball. Hold the cotton ball onto the sticky residue for a couple seconds then rub in a circular motion until the residue is gone. I have successfully used this method for removing two sided tape from metal and also sticky residue from labels. By StellaBell [149] If you can't find that fancy Lemon Essential Oil, WD40 works well too. Have FUN! DearWQebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ "Look at ME!" boasted the fit old man to a group of young people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups, do fifty sit-ups, and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women!" He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my 95th birthday!" "Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers, "How? With a bare naked bran muffin?" ______________________________________________________ He loved living in Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy about the ferry. Miss a ferry late at night, and you have to spend the next hour or so wandering the deserted streets of lower Manhattan. So when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from the dock, he decided he wouldn't subject himself to an hour's wait. He made a running leap and landed on his hands and knees, a little bruised maybe, but safe on deck. He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to a bystander, "Well, I made that one, didn't I?' "Sure did," the bystander said. "But you should have waited a minute or two. The ferry is just about to dock."


Yultide Eggnog Cupcakes

Today in 
1625 The Treaty of the Hague was signed by England and the 
 Netherlands. The agreement was to subsidize Christian IV 
 of Denmark in his campaign in Germany. 
1783 The first executions at Newgate Prison took place. 
1854 Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem, "The Charge of the Light 
 Brigade," was published in England. 
1879 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Ore Milling Company.
1884 Levant M. Richardson received a patent for the 
 ball-bearing roller skate. 
1914 The Edison Phonograph Works was destroyed by fire. 
1917 Turkish troops surrendered Jerusalem to British troops 
 led by Viscount Allenby. 
1940 During World War II, British troops opened their first 
 major offensive in North Africa. 
1940 The Longines Watch Company signed for the first FM 
 radio advertising contract with experimental station 
 W2XOR in New York City. 
1941 China declared war on Japan, Germany and Italy. 
1955 Sugar Ray Robinson knocked out Carl Olson and 
 regained his world middleweight boxing title. 
1958 In Indianapolis, IN, Robert H.W. Welch Jr. and 
 11 other men met to form the anti-Communist John Birch Society. 
1960 Sperry Rand Corporation unveiled a new computer, known as 
 "Univac 1107." 
1962 "Lawrence of Arabia," by David Lean had its world 
 premiere in London. 
1975 U.S. President Gerald R. Ford signed a $2.3 billion 
 seasonal loan authorization to prevent New York City from 
 having to default. 
1984 Iranian security men seized control of the plane ending 
 a five-day hijacking of a Kuwaiti jetliner, which was parked 
 at the Tehran airport. 
1985 In Argentina, five former military junta members received 
 sentences in prison for their roles in the "dirty war" in 
 which nearly 9,000 people had "disappeared." 
1987 West Bank Palestinians launched an intifada (uprising) 
 against Israeli occupation. 
1987 In the Gaza Strip, an Israeli patrol attacked the 
 Jabliya refugee camp. 
1990 Lech Walesa won Poland's first direct presidential 
 election in the country's history. 
1990 Slobodan Milosovic was elected president in Serbia's 
 first free elections in 50 years. 
1990 The first American hostages to be released by Iraq 
 began arriving in the U.S. 
1991 European Community leaders agreed to begin using a 
 single currency in 1999. 
1992 Britain's Prince Charles and Princess Diana announced 
 their separation. 
1992 Clair George, former CIA spy chief, was convicted of 
 lying to the U.S. Congress about the Iran-Contra affair. 
 U.S. President George H.W. Bush later pardoned George. 
1992 U.S. troops arrived in Mogadishu, Somalia, to oversee 
 delivery of international food aid, in operation 'Restore Hope'. 
1993 The U.S. Air Force destroyed the first of 500 Minuteman II 
 missile silos that were marked for elimination under an arms 
 control treaty. 
1993 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavor completed 
 repairs to the Hubble Space Telescope. 
1993 At Princeton University in New Jersey, scientists produced 
 a controlled fusion reaction equivalent to 3 million watts. 
1994 Representatives of the Irish Republican Army and the 
 British government opened peace talks in Northern Ireland. 
1994 U.S. President Clinton fired Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders 
 after learning that she had told a conference that masturbation 
 should be discussed in school as a part of human sexuality. 
1996 UN Secretary General Boutros-Ghali approved a deal 
 allowing Iraq to resume its exports of oil and easing the 
 UN trade embargo imposed on Iraq in 1990. 
2002 United Airlines filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy after 
 losing $4 billion in the previos two years. It was the 
 sixth largest bankruptcy filing. 
2003 In Australia, thieves broke into a home and stole two 
 300-year-old etchings by Rembrandt. The 4-by-4-inch 
 etchings, a self-portait and a depiction of the artist's 
 mother, were valued around $518,000.
2014  smiled.


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Bad Skype Update 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, December 8

Fantastic full moon out tonight.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida woman, who tasered her 3 year old nephew.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1984 In Roanoke, Virginia, a jury found Hustler magazine 
 publisher Larry Flynt innocent of libeling Reverend Jerry 
 Falwell with a parody advertisement. However Falwell was 
 awarded $200,000 for emotional distress. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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In the United States there is more space where nobody is than where anybody is. That is what makes America what it is. Gertrude Stein (1874 - 1946), ______________________________________________________ Wife: "Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish." Doctor: "Don't worry I can cure him." Wife: "I don't want him cured I want you to adjust him to get the movie channel." ______________________________________________________ WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Nanarina for this picture: Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ramona Braswell 30 St. Petersburg, Florida Woman arrested for using stun gun on child A St. Petersburg woman is accused of zapping her 3-year-old nephew with a stun gun. And, her own sister called police to report the child abuse. Investigators say the boy had marks on his arm to prove it. Ramona Braswell, 30, is now out of jail and she tells 10 News that she wouldn't zap her nephew with a stun gun, she loves him. Police say the way she showed it this weekend is criminal. "It seems clear to the officer that she actually did apply the charge to the child," says Mike Puetz, police department spokesman. It was Rodney's mom, Karen Braswell's, who called 911 and that landed her sister in lockup facing the felony child abuse charges. "My baby started crying, and I just wanted to know what was wrong," says Karen Braswell on the 911 call. The operator asks, "OK, who tased him?" "My sister," Karen Braswell replied. Today, Karen Braswell had a tearful apology for her sister, "I'm sorry, and I hope I can fix all of this," says Karen Braswell. To prevent Child Protection Services from removing all of her kids, the mother and aunt are now changing the story, however, police has seen the mark of the taser. Tech Support Pits From: Eloise Re: New Skype Dear Webby Dear Webby, Skype snuck in an update, even though I did not want it. Unless somebody has a company supplied 3 foot monitor like the overpaid and useless wackos at Microsoft, it is totally useless. Everything is spaced out like a bunch of scattered clouds and wasting way too much space! What are those idiots smoking? I need to have a compact interface, so that I can have other stuff open on the side. You can't select compact view in the current version. What do I do now? Eloise Dear Eloise I agree, whatever they are smoking, should be made illegal. It makes them look very incompetent. Luckily you can go back to a previous version, before the pufter version. 6.20.0 You don't have to un-install the pufter version, just install 6.20.0 over top of it. All your contacts and history will remain the same, but you get the compact user interface back. Somebody from Microsoft claimed on a forum that Skype version 7 has those problems fixed, but I would wait a week and see how much howling it causes. Traditionally even numbered versions are a disaster and it takes a few fixes and revisions to level that out. .20 seems to be fine. Personally, I won't be in a rush to try 7 until about 7.20 Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate... what is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?" "Did you say 4?!?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Newspaper Comics for Giftwrap I love giving gifts all year long. Years ago it hit me one day that sometimes my wrappings cost nearly as much as the gift itself! Now I use comics from the newspaper to wrap my gifts. I already get the paper, so it's free! People actually really enjoy the wrap too, they think it's cute.:) By melissa [40] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ I couldn't help overhearing a man on his phone. "I know it's something you want," he said earnestly, "but I don't think tattoos are a good idea. And the same goes for body piercing. As long as you're living in my house, I think you should respect my wishes." I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly firmness. Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Mom, you're 75 years old! You don't NEED a tattoo!" ______________________________________________________ Little Johnny's father was a pastor in a small church. One day, his father told Little Johnny that a very important bishop was coming and that he would be staying with them. Little Johnny became very excited and asked his father if he would get to meet him. His father thought about this and decided that he would let Little Johnny bring the bishop tea in the morning and wake him up. Little Johnny agreed to do this and was very excited. His father gave him instructions: first, knock on the door of the bishops room and then say to him "It's the boy, my Lord, it's time to get up." Little Johnny was very excited and rehearsed his lines repeating them over and over. Finally the day came and Little Johnny had learned all his lines. He went to the door and knocked. He was so excited and nervous though that his lines got mixed up and the boy said, "It's the Lord, my boy, and your time is up!"


Exotic flowers

Today in 
1776 George Washington's retreating army in the American 
 Revolution crossed the Delaware River from New Jersey to 
 Pennsylvania. 
1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate 
 Conception. The theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus, 
 was free of original sin from the moment she was conceived.
1863 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln announced his plan for 
 the Reconstruction of the South. 
1863 Tom King of England defeated American John Heenan and
 became the first world heavyweight champion. 
1941 The United States entered World War II when it declared 
 war against Japan. The act came one day after the Japanese 
 attacked Pearl Harbor. Britain and Canada also declared 
 war on Japan. The US had been fighting Japan in Asia for 
 some time and most US battleships were already in Asia 
 or Midway. That saved the US Navy from Japan's attack.
1949 The Chinese Nationalist government moved from the 
 Chinese mainland to Formosa due to Communists pressure. 
1953 Los Angeles became the third largest city in the US.
1962 Workers of the International Typographical Union 
 began striking and closed nine New York City newspapers. 
 The strike lasted 114 days and ended April 1, 1963. 
1980 Zimbabwe’s manpower minister, Edgar Tekere, was found 
 guilty in the killing of a white farmer. He was freed under 
 a law that protected ministers acting to suppress terrorism. 
1982 Norman D. Mayer demanding an end to nuclear weapons held 
 the Washington Monument hostage. He threatened to blow it up 
 with explosives he claimed were inside a van. 10 hours later 
 he was shot to death by police. 
1984 In Roanoke, Virginia, a jury found Hustler magazine 
 publisher Larry Flynt innocent of libeling Reverend Jerry 
 Falwell with a parody advertisement. However Falwell was 
 awarded $200,000 for emotional distress. 
1987 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S. 
 Gorbachev signed a treaty agreeing to destroy their nations' 
 arsenals of intermediate-range nuclear missiles. 
1987 The "intefadeh" (Arabic for uprising) by Palestinians 
 in the Israeli-occupied territories began. 
1989 Communist leaders in Czechoslovakia offered to surrender 
 their control over the government and accept a minority role 
 in a coalition Cabinet.
1991 Russia, Byelorussia and Ukraine declared the Soviet 
 national government to be dead. They forged a new alliance to 
 be known as the Commonwealth of Independent States. The act 
 was denounced by Russian President Gorbachev as unconstitutional. 
1992 Americans got to see live television coverage of U.S. troops 
 landing on the beaches of Somalia during Operation Restore Hope.
1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the North American 
 Free Trade Agreement. 
1994 Bosnian Serbs released dozens of hostage peacekeepers, but 
 continued to detain about 300 others. 
1994 In Los Angeles, 12 alternate jurors were chosen for the 
 O.J. Simpson murder trial. 
1997 The second largest bank was created with the announcement 
 that Union Bank Switzerland and the Swiss Bank Corporation 
 would merge. The combined assets were more than $590 billion. 
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police could not search 
 a person or their cars after ticketing for a routine traffic 
 violation. 
1998 The FBI opened its files on Frank Sinatra to the public. 
 The file contained over 1,300 pages. 
1998 AT&T Corp. announced that it was buying IBM's data 
 networking business for $5 billion cash. 
1998 The first female ice hockey game in Olympic history was 
 played. Finland beat Sweden 6-0. 
1999 In Memphis, TN, a jury found that Rev. Martin Luther 
 King Jr. had been the victim of a vast murder conspiracy, 
 not a lone assassin. 
1999 Russia and Belarus agreed in principle to form an 
 economic and political confederation. 
2000 Mario Lemieux announced to the Pittsburgh Penguins 
 that he planned to return to the National Hockey League (NHL) 
 as a player at age 35. He would be the first modern owner-player 
 in U.S. pro sports. 
2014  smiled.


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Associate your own sounds with events in Windows 7 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, December 4

Today I have to go to Calgary 
for injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters
for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Georgia man in Florida went on car jacking spree,
got beat up after crashing into gas station.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1978 Dianne Feinstein became San Francisco's first woman mayor 
 when she was named to replace George Moscone, who had been murdered. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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He may be mad, but there's method in his madness. There nearly always is method in madness. It's what drives men mad, being methodical. --- G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936) The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it. --- Abbie Hoffman ______________________________________________________ A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates really well and I just act like I'm listening!" ______________________________________________________ We have a new kid in the office named Brian. Nice guy. Fresh out of college. So I was asking him about school the other day and he told me he belonged to a fraternity called Delta Upsilon. "Did you pledge in college?" he asked. I said, "Yeah, I belonged to 'I Tappa Kegga.'" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Victor for this picture: Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jordan Mincy 21, Orlando, Florida Man tried to steal three cars and crashed into gas pump Jordan Mincy seemed to be in a hurry — and possibly confused — during his first botched carjacking of the night, a report shows. "You don't know what just happened," Mincy, 21, said Thursday to a Shell gas station security guard before jumping into her car, police said. After he couldn't get her car started, Mincy smoked something for a second before running across the street to the Greyhound Bus station, where police said he stole a car and crashed it into gas pump, causing a fiery explosion. Then, as his alleged crime spree proceeded, Mincy forced a man out of his car so he could hide from Orlando police. It took a police dog, an OPD officer and four firefighters to take Mincy down, court records show. It looks like the firefighters tenderized his face and connected about half a dozen times. Mincy, a Georgia native, was taken to Orlando Regional Medical Center to be treated for a dog bite. He bonded out of the Orange County Jail on Sunday. His charges include carjacking, battery on a law-enforcement officer, kidnapping and possession of marijuana. Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Assigning Sounds to events Dear Webby Dear Webby, Windows7 does not have that feature,it on has sound,and when you open it all you can get is what is programmed into the program which are terrible at best. daniel Dear Daniel yes, it does. Try Control panel Sound Sounds select one item, then hit Browse. You can install all your own private farts and pops and dings and dongs. Make it easy on yourself, and put all your intended WAV files into an easy to find folder, for example C:\WAV Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
A man goes to consult a specialist about his medical problem. After the visit the man asks, "How much do I owe you?" "My fee is five hundred dollars," replies the physician. "Five hundred dollars? That's impossible. No one charges that much!" "In your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could adjust my fee to three hundred." "Three hundred dollars? For one visit? Ridiculous." "Well, then, could you afford two hundred?" "Who has that kind of money?" "Look, replies the doctor," growing irritated, "Just give me fifty bucks and get out." "I can give you twenty says the man. Take it or leave it." "I don't understand you," says the doctor. "Why did you come to the most expensive doctor in New York if you have no money?" "Listen, Doctor", says the patient, "When it comes to my health, nothing too expensive is."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bubble Mailer Envelopes for Breakables Use bubble wrap for storing small breakable items. Cut the mailer into wide strips. Place the strips in between items as you place them in the storage box. This protects things like china cups, ornaments, glassware or anything breakable. By jean99 [5] Old, cut up bed sheets work fine too. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ A young mother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be held against you, you don't have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride. You are done!" ______________________________________________________ After a long day of listening to a Texan brag, a New Yorker decided to show the Texan the Empire State Building. When the Texan put down New York's well-known landmark by saying "Heck, that's nothing. In Texas, we have outhouses bigger than that!" The New Yorker responded, "You need them!"


Deadly African Salt Lake

Today in 
1783 Gen. George Washington said farewell to his officers 
  at Fraunces Tavern in New York. 
1812 Peter Gaillard patented the power mower. 
1875 William Marcy Tweed, the "Boss" of New York City's 
 Tammany Hall political organization, escaped from jail 
 and fled from the U.S. 
1918 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson set sail for France 
 to attend the Versailles Peace Conference. Wilson became 
 the first chief executive to travel to Europe while in office. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the 
 dismantling of the Works Progress Administration. 
1942 U.S. bombers attacked the Italian mainland for the first 
 time during World War II. 
1965 The U.S. launched Gemini 7 with Air Force Lt. Col. 
 Frank Borman and Navy Comdr. James A. Lovell on board. 
1973 Pioneer 10 reached Jupiter. 
1978 Dianne Feinstein became San Francisco's first woman mayor 
 when she was named to replace George Moscone, who had been murdered. 
1983 U.S. jet fighters struck Syrian anti-aircraft positions in 
 Lebanon in retaliation for attacks directed at American 
 reconnaissance planes. Navy Lt. Robert O. Goodman Jr. was 
 shot down and captured by Syria. 
1984 A five-day hijack drama began as four men seized a Kuwaiti 
 airliner en route to Pakistan and forced it to land in Tehran. 
 Two American passengers were killed by the hijackers. 
1987 Cuban inmates at a federal prison in Atlanta freed their 
 89 hostages, peacefully ending an 11-day uprising. 
1988 The government of Argentina announced that hundreds of 
 heavily armed soldiers had ended a four-day military revolt. 
1990 Iraq promised to release 3,300 Soviet citizens it was holding. 
1991 Associated Press correspondent Terry Anderson was released 
 after nearly seven years in captivity in Lebanon. 
1991 Pan American World Airways ceased operations. 
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered American troops 
 to lead a mercy mission to Somalia. 
1993 The Angolan government and its UNITA guerrilla foes formally 
 adopted terms for a truce. The conflict was killing an estimated 
 1,000 people per day. 
1994 Bosnian Serbs released 53 out of about 400 UN peacekeepers 
 they were holding as insurance against further NATO airstrikes. 
2000 O.J. Simpson was involved in an incident with another motorist 
 in Miami, FL. Simpson was accused of scratching the other motorists 
 face while pulling off the man's glasses. 
2001 O.J. Simpson's home in Florida was raided by the FBI in an 
 ongoing two year international investigation into drug trafficking, 
 satellite service pilfering and money laundering. Some unused
 satellite equipment was taken from Simpson's home and no drugs 
 were found. 
2014  smiled.


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Assigning sounds to events 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, December 3

Tomorrow, Thursday, December 4, I have to go to Calgary 
for injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters
for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Illinois man, who fell through ice into Fox River 
trying to escape Elgin police.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1999 The World Trade Organization (WTO) concluded a four-day 
 meeting in Seattle, WA, without setting an agenda for a new 
 round of trade talks. The meeting was met with fierce protests 
 by various groups who had no clue, what the meeting was about
 or what they were protesting against. However, they did 
 $2 Billion worth of damage.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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All power corrupts, but we need the electricity. --- Socratex If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) ______________________________________________________ The Polish were upset because of their bad reputation. A group of them got together and approached a conference of Americans, Germans, and Japanese and asked for help on this matter. An American replied, "You must do something so the world will respect you. The Japanese are known for their technology and the Germans are known for their resourcefulness. We Americans have had respect since we helped win the World War against the other two. See, you need to do something world-famous." A German added, "Yes, he's right. Why don't you find a place in this world in need of a bridge that no one has dared build, build it, come back to us, and we will help publicize it." With that, the Polish set off to build their bridge. They designed it and worked six months and finally completed it. They then went back to report it to the group. The bridge was a beautiful bridge but it had one flaw: it was erected in the middle of the Sahara Desert. An American said, "No, no. See, that is why you have your reputation. There is no need for a bridge in the middle of the desert. Now go and dismantle it, and find a more strategic spot to erect it." The Polish returned to the conference in two weeks. One of the Japanese said, "Two weeks! It only took you two weeks to dismantle that bridge and build a new one??? That is amazing!!" To which a Polish man replied, "Well, not exactly. When we returned to the bridge we couldn't dismantle it because there were all these Italians fishing off it." ______________________________________________________ At the urging of his doctor, John moved to Arizona. After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man. "Say, my doctor recommended I move here for my health. Is this really a good place to live?" "It sure is," the man replied. "When I first arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed." "That's wonderful!" said John. "How long have you been here?" "I was born here." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Victor for this picture: Click through for the big picture ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Melvin Ramsey, 20, Elgin, Illinois Man falls through ice into Fox River trying to escape Elgin police A man who was trying to evade Elgin police Sunday morning landed in the Fox River when he tried to cross thin ice to get to the other side, police said. About 10:30 a.m., an officer saw the man walking near the Chicago Street Metra train depot, 109 W. Chicago St., and recognized him as someone who had an outstanding arrest warrant. The officer told the man to stop, but the man took off south running between the railroad tracks and the river, according to a news release from the Elgin Police Department. When more officers were called to the scene, the man, identified as Melvin Ramsey, 20, tried to cross to the other side on the ice of the Fox River. He almost made it to shore, but the ice gave way and he landed in the water, police said. Police threw rope bags to rescue Ramsey, but their rescue attempts didn't work. An officer then retrieved a lifesaver ring from the National Street Bridge and it was slid across the ice to Ramsey. He then grabbed the ring, and officers pulled him to safety, police said. Ramsey, of the 200 block of Jewett Street in Elgin, was taken to the hospital with minor injuries he suffered when he fell through the ice. He was charged with misdemeanor resisting arrest and was scheduled Monday to appear in Kane County bond court, where he also will face several outstanding warrant charges from previous cases, the release said. Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Assigning Sounds to events Dear Webby Dear Webby, hello my friend, there used to be a program that let you choose what sounds you wanted to add to your " program events " it had explosions,rifle shots,etc,etc,etc. do you know the name of it ? thanks, daniel, Dear Daniel Go into Control Panel Sounds and Audio Sounds In there you can assign any sounds you want to any event you want. There are tons of sounds included, and you can also use additional ones from your own collection. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
A church was preparing for Christmas services. The pastor decided he wanted a banner made for the entryway and had a parishioner call the sign company. The parishioner told the man on the phone the message he wanted and the dimensions needed for the entryway. The sign came back a few days later. "Unto Mary Jesus was born, six feet long and two feet wide."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Wrapping Gifts in Holiday Tablecloths At dollar stores or shopping after the holiday clearance sales, I try to get a couple of the decorated lightweight disposable tablecloths and store them in my box of gift-wrapping supplies. Many times a gift or the box that the gift comes in is too large for the usual size bolt of wrapping paper, necessitating piecing several pieces taped together to cover your item. I get out my disposable table cloth, cut it to fit (I always have a lot more left over) and tape it. The lightweight flannel- backed cloths are also very flexible. Clear packing tape will securely hold the wrap for the heavier weight cloths. By Trisha from Ventura, CA ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ After my fifth-graders studied the history of the Alamo, I gave them a test with this bonus question: "What was the famous battle cry that later helped spur on independence for Texans?" One student's response: "Remember the alimony!" ______________________________________________________ The family had spent the day moving from their farmhouse into a new apartment house in town. Very early the next morning, the 5 1/2 -year-old ran into their bedroom to wake them up. Mom dressed him and told him to play and let them rest for a while longer. About 20 minutes later, he came running back."Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "Everybody has doorbells.... and they all work!"


Deadly African Salt Lake

Today in 
1833 Oberlin College in Ohio opened as the first truly 
 coeducational school of higher education in the United States. 
1835 In Rhode Island, the Manufacturer Mutual Fire Insurance 
 Company issued the first fire insurance policy. 
1910 The neon lamp was displayed for the first time at the 
 Paris Motor Show. The lamp was developed by French physicist 
 Georges Claude. 
1917 The Quebec Bridge opened for traffic after almost 20 
 years of planning and construction. The bridge suffered 
 partial collapses in 1907 (August 29) and 1916 (September 11). 
1931 Alka Seltzer was sold for the first time. 
1947 The Tennessee Williams play "A Streetcar Named Desire" 
 opened at Broadway's Ethel Barrymore Theater. 
1948 The "Pumpkin Papers" came to public light. The House 
 Un-American Activities Committee announced that former 
 Communist spy Whittaker Chambers had produced microfilm of 
 secret documents hidden inside a pumpkin on his Maryland farm. 
1967 In Cape Town, South Africa, a team of surgeons headed by 
 Dr. Christian Barnard, performed the first human heart 
 transplant on Louis Washkansky. Washkansky only lived 18 days. 
1973 Pioneer 10 sent back the first close-up images of Jupiter. 
 The first outer-planetary probe had been launched from Cape 
 Canaveral, FL, on March 2, 1972. 
1982 Doctors at the University of Utah Medical Center removed 
 the respirator of Barney Clark. The retired dentist had become 
 the world's first recipient of a permanent artificial heart 
 only one day before. 
1983 3-foot-high concrete barriers were installed at two 
 White House entrances. 
1984 In Bhopal, India, more than 2,000 people were killed after 
 a cloud of poisonous gas escaped from a pesticide plant. The 
 plant was operated by a Union Carbide subsidiary. 
1992 The Greek tanker "Aegean Sea" ran aground at La Coruna, 
 Spain and spilled 21.5 million gallons of crude oil. 
1993 Britain's Princess Diana announced she would be limiting 
 her public appearances because she was tired of the media's 
 intrusions into her life. 
1993 Angola's government and its rebel enemies agreed to a 
 cease-fire in their 18-year war. 
1994 Rebel Serbs in Bosnia failed to keep a pledge to release 
 hundreds of UN peacekeepers. 
1995 Former South Korean president Chun Doo-hwan was arrested 
 for his role in a 1979 coup. 
1997 In Ottawa, Canada, more than 120 countries were represented 
 to sign a treaty prohibiting the use and production of 
 anti-personnel land mines. The United States, China and 
 Russia did not sign the treaty. 
1997 South Korea received $55 billion from the International 
 Monetary Fund to bailout its economy. 
1999 Tori Murden became the first woman to row across the 
 Atlantic Ocean alone. It took her 81 days to reach the French 
 Caribbean island of Guadeloupe from the Canary Islands. 
1999 The World Trade Organization (WTO) concluded a four-day 
 meeting in Seattle, WA, without setting an agenda for a new 
 round of trade talks. The meeting was met with fierce protests 
 by various groups who had no clue, what the meeting was about
 or what they were protesting against. However, they did 
 $2 Billion worth of damage.
1999 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) 
 lost radio contact with the Mars Polar Lander as it entered 
 Mars' atmosphere. The spacecraft was unmanned. 
2010 The Boeing X-37 returned to Earth on successfully after 
 its first orbital mission. It launched on April 22, 2010. 
2014  smiled.


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Camera deals 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, December 2

Thursday, December 4, I have to go to Calgary for 
injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters
for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Harvard Extension student, who fell naked through bathroom 
ceiling, bit old man's ear off
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1969 The Boeing 747 jumbo jet got its first public preview as 
 191 people flew from Seattle, WA, to New York City, NY. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act. --- George Orwell (1903 - 1950) Genius without education is like silver in the mine. --- Benjamin Franklin: A psychologist once said that we know little about the conscience except that it is soluble in alcohol. --- Thomas Blackburn We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are." --- Anais Nin ______________________________________________________ >From Dave A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed I hadn't once lit up a cigarette. "Are you trying to kick the habit?" she asked. "No," I replied. "I have a cold, and I don't smoke when I'm not feeling well." "You know," she observed, "you'd probably live longer if you were sick more often." ______________________________________________________ A very spiritual, devout and holy priest dies and is immediately swept up to heaven. St. Peter greets him at the Pearly Gates, and says, "Hello, Father, we've been waiting for you for a long time. Welcome to Heaven! You are very well known here, and as a special reward, because you are such a spiritual and holy man, we're going to grant you anything you wish even before we enter Heaven. What can I grant you?" "Well", the priest says, "I've always been a great admirer of the Virgin Mother. I've always wanted to ask her a question." St. Peter nods his head to one side, and lo and behold who should approach the priest but the Virgin Mary! The priest is beside himself, and he manages to say, "Mother, I have always been a great admirer of yours, and have studied everything I could about you and followed your life as best I could. I have studied every painting and portrait ever made of you, and I've noticed that you are always portrayed with a slightly sad look on your face. I have always, always wondered what it was that made you sad. Would you please tell me?" "Well", says Mother Mary, "to tell the truth, I was really hoping for a girl." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Victor for this picture: Click through for the big picture You voted for WHOOOOO ?? ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Cameron Shenk 26 Boston MA Harvard Extension student fell naked through bathroom ceiling, bit old man's ear off A 26-year-old Harvard Extension School student is being held without bail after he allegedly fell naked through the ceiling of a women's bathroom in Boston's Logan Airport and then bit an 84-year-old man's ear off, according to CBS News. A Boston man who police say fell naked through the ceiling of a women's bathroom at Boston's airport and then assaulted 84 year old an elderly man has been ordered held without bail pending a hearing next week. Cameron Shenk was arraigned Wednesday on charges that include attempted murder, assault and battery on a person over 60, and lewd and lascivious conduct. Police say the 26-year-old Shenk fell through the ceiling at about noon Saturday. He had allegedly snuk into the bathroom, undressed inside a stall and climbed into the ceiling crawl space. Police say he then fled the bathroom and assaulted an 84-year-old man. Shenk's lawyer said he is a student studying economics at Harvard Extension School and has no history of mental illness. A hearing to determine whether he is dangerous to the public is scheduled Monday. Tech Support Pits From: Chuck Re: Camera deals Dear Webby Dear Webby, Thanks for all your great advice and jokes. I remember your suggestion to get a top of the line camera that's 1-2 years old for finding a quality camera at a good price. I'm trying to do that, but don't know where to start to find these old "top of the line" cameras. Can you tell me somewhere I can start looking. Any good suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks, Chuck Dear Chuck Try Pricegrabber I see a mighty Canon Powershot G1-X there for $110 A few years ago the magazine reviewers, -who never had to pay for a camera because they get all of them free to review-, could not stop gushing about that camera. Sure, there are some newer models now, that may or may not offer more to a professional photographer, but the G1-X is still just as awesome as it was when it came out. There are lots of excellent cameras there. Pick one that fits your budget, and you will get a great deal. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
TRICK OR TREATING BY STAR SIGN Aries pushes the others aside to get to the door first. Taurus will only eat the finest of Swiss chocolates. Gemini goes around the neighbourhood once, changes costumes and goes around again. Cancer stays at home and gives candy to the other trick-or-treaters. Leos plan their costume for months, then won't go out because someone else had the same idea. Virgo wears a neatly-pressed suit and tells everyone they're a bookkeeper. Libra is still standing in front of the closet trying to decide on a costume. Scorpio isn't in it for the candy. Sagittarius will manage to wander to the next town. Capricorn makes a list of all the houses that give good candy and the optimal route to take. Aquarius builds the costume out of spare flashlights and spends all night tinkering when it shorts. Pisces skips the whole thing to compose poetry to the Moon.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cake Mix Cookies I love quick recipes! These have only 4 ingredients (one of which is water) and are super fluffy. They are also lower in fat than most cookies, as there is only 4 tablespoons of shortening in the entire batch. I made mine with devil's food cake mix, but will soon be trying angel food among others. Approximate Time: 15-20 minutes Yield: 24 cookies Ingredients: 1 box devil's food cake mix 2 eggs 4 Tbsp shortening, melted 6 Tbsp water Steps: Add cake mix, 2 beaten eggs, 4 tablespoons melted shortening and 6 tablespoons water to a bowl and blend well. Drop by large tablespoons full onto greased cookie sheets. Bake in a 350 degree F oven for 11 minutes. Put in hand, bring to mouth, chew. Now smile.:) Repeat. Source: I modified a recipe from "Money Saving Recipes". By melissa [39] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, "Just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand." "Good," my dad quickly replied. "Wash it again!" ______________________________________________________ The old town blacksmith realised he couldn't work so hard anymore. He picked out strong young Bill Deville to become his apprentice. The old fellow was impatient and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told Bill, "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard." Bill is looking for a new apprenticeship.


Piccadilly Circus

Today in 
1804 Napoleon was crowned emperor of France at the Cathedral 
 of Notre Dame in Paris. 
1823 U.S. President James Monroe outlined his doctrine opposing 
 European expansion in the Western Hemisphere. 
1901 Gillette patented the KC Gillette Razor. It was first razor 
 to feature a permanent handle and disposable double-edge 
 razor blades. 
1917 During World War I, hostilities were suspended on the 
 eastern front. 
1927 The Ford Motor Company unveiled the Model A automobile. 
 It was the successor to the Model T. 
1939 New York's La Guardia Airport began operations as an 
 airliner from Chicago landed at 12:01 a.m. 
1942 A self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction was demonstrated 
 by Dr. Enrico Fermi and his staff at the University of Chicago.
1954 The U.S. Senate voted to condemn Sen. Joseph R. McCarthy 
 for what it called "conduct that tends to bring the Senate 
 into dishonor and disrepute." The censure was related to 
 McCarthy's controversial investigation of suspected 
 communists in the U.S. government, military and civilian 
 society. 
1961 Cuban leader Fidel Castro declared in a nationally 
 broadcast speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist and that he 
 was going to lead Cuba to communism. 
1969 The Boeing 747 jumbo jet got its first public preview as 
 191 people flew from Seattle, WA, to New York City, NY. 
1990 Chancellor Hekmut Kohl's coalition won the first free 
 all-German elections since 1932. 
1990 The Midwest section of the U.S. prepared for a massive 
 earthquake predicted by Iben Browning. Nothing happened. 
1993 Colombian drug lord Pablo Escobar was shot to death by 
 security forces in Medellin. 
1993 The space shuttle Endeavor blasted off on a mission to 
 fix the Hubble Space Telescope. 
1994 The U.S. government agreed not to seek a recall of allegedly 
 fire-prone General Motors pickup trucks. Instead a deal was made 
 with GM under which the company would spend more than $51 million 
 on safety and research. 
1995 NASA launched a U.S.-European observatory on a $1 billion 
 dollar mission intended to study the sun. 
1998 Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates donated $100 million to 
 help immunize children in developing countries. 
1999 The British government transferred political power over the 
 province of Northern Ireland to the Northern Ireland Executive. 
2001 Enron Corp. filed for Chapter 11 reorganization. The filing 
 came five days after Dynegy walked away from a $8.4 billion 
 buyout. It was the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history. 
2010 NASA announced the discovery of a new arsenic-based life form. 
2014  smiled.


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Can you save disk space with thumbnails? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, December 1

Thursday, December 4, I have to go to Calgary for 
injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters
for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Some southerners asked
What is "noisy snow when walking" ?

When the temperatures are below about -25, then walking
in tracks or on packed snow produces a creaking sound 
like a barn door, that has not been oiled for twenty years.

"Florida teena..." Was that a typo, or a new way to mention
a female teen?"

Sorry, just a typo for now. However, it just might catch on!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Texas woman arrested for $6400 sausage heist
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1990 British and French workers digging the Channel Tunnel 
 finally met under the English Channel.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Louis for sending this Classic: The father, a poor farmer save every penny for years so he could afford to send his son to a High School. Graduation day finally came and son returned home. A big party was held where all the neighbours from miles were invited. When all guests settled down with a few shots of corn whiskey, the father called for everyone’s attention. He reminded everyone present of all the sacrifices he had made for so many years so he could educate his only son. He then introduced his boy as the most educated fellow in them thar hills. Father said : Cmon son, say something real clever to these folks. ť The shy young boy was embarrassed to tears and had no idea what to say. So he said first thing that came to mind Pi R Squareť. For you old folks that's forgot that's the area of a circle. The old man flipped a biscuit "You mean to tell me that I wasted all that money sending you to school an yah learnt nothing.? Everybody knows PIE ARE ROUND – CAKE ARE SQUARE ______________________________________________________ There are three religious truths: 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dawn for this picture: Click through for the big picture Minnesota Fall ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Regina Shaw 45 San Antonio, Texas Woman arrested for $6400 sausage heist A Texas woman was arrested yesterday for stealing more than $6400 worth of sausage from the Kiolbassa Provision Company, a San Antonio firm that has been smoking meat since 1949. According to an arrest affidavit, Regina Shaw, 45, was linked to the September 14 theft via surveillance footage that recorded her taking a “pallet of meat product” from the purveyor. Shaw, who worked for the firm, was charged with felony theft and booked into the Bexar County jail. She was subsequently released on $5000 bond. As detailed by a San Antonio Police Department detective, Shaw allegedly fenced a portion of the meat through a man who “purchased some boxes of Kiolbassa sausage” from her. The man later accepted “more Kiolbassa” in payment for a loan that he had given Shaw. During a police photo lineup last month, the man, identified as Peter Medellin, picked out Shaw “as the female that he purchased the meat product from.” The police affidavit does not list the total weight of the purloined sausage, nor how Shaw made her getaway with the meat. Seen in the above mug shot, Shaw was fired from her job with the Kiolbassa Provision Company, which sells a wide variety of sausages, including an “all-Pork Chorizo” and “Beef & Cheddar Smoked Sausage.” Tech Support Pits From: Carolyn Re: Thumbnails to save disk space Dear Webby Dear Webby I have heard that it takes a lot of space on my computer to have pictures of family and friends in folders and that I should make thumbnails instead. Is this true? Thanks. I enjoy your Humor Letter very much. Carolyn Dear Carolyn Whoever told you that nonsense, should be put on a strict diet of Smarties, and should not allowed out of the funny farm without competent supervision. There is probably a lot of useless stuff on your computer, that can be dumped, and replaced if needed. However, pictures of your friends and family can not be replaced. They have more rights to be on your computer and on your back-up than ANY of the replaceable crap. Especially silly games that can be downloaded again. You can always get a second hard drive cheap. But pictures of friends and relatives are not replaceable. How many of the people at the last family reunion are still alive? I make thumbnails IN ADDITION to the regular size pictures, to make menuing and sorting easier, but I never reduce good pictures to thumbnail size without keeping them in original or at least regular size. You can at any time shrink pictures, but you can not expand them without making them look awful. When you click through the thumbnail for the daily picture, you get to the separate full size picture, not a zoomed view of the thumbnail. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 A.M. It could be a right number.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Acorn Cookies These simple acorn cookies are a great treat for a fall party. Approximate Time: 15 minutes Ingredients: 1 package mini Nutter Butter cookies 1 package Hershey's Kisses 1/2 cup Wilton decorator icing mini chocolate chips brown icing color Steps: I chose to sort through the Nutter Butters and remove ones that were no longer sandwiches. (I didn't waste them though ...I ate them!) Color your icing to the desired shade of brown. Then place it into a sandwich bag and snip off one corner, to make a piping bag. Pipe a blob onto one side of the cookie, then press a Kiss onto the cookie. Then turn the cookie over and place a tiny dot of icing onto the center of the cookie. Press a mini chocolate chip into the icing. By lalala... [519] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Every revolutionary idea - in science, politics, art, or whatever - evokes three stages of reaction in a hearer: 1. It is completely impossible - don't waste my time. 2. It is possible, but it is not worth doing. 3. I said it was a good idea all along ______________________________________________________ A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life"? Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition. This prescription is marked "NO REFILLS"


Sequsoias Scaling a Forest

Today in 
1835 Hans Christian Andersen published his first book of 
 fairy tales.
1913 Ford Motor Co. began using a new movable assembly line 
 that ushered in the era of mass production. 
1913 The first drive-in automobile service station opened,
 in Pittsburgh, PA. 
1925 The Locarno Pact finalized the treaties between WWI 
 protagonists, setting the causes for WWII.
1934 Sergei M. Kirov, a collaborator of Joseph Stalin, was 
 assassinated at the Leningrad party headquarters. 
1941 In the U.S., the Civil Air Patrol was created. In April 
 1943 the Civil Air Patrol was placed under the jurisdiction 
 of the Army Air Forces. 
1942 In the U.S., nationwide gasoline rationing went into effect. 
1952 In Denmark, it was announced that the first successful sex-change 
 operation had been performed. 
1955 Rosa Parks, a black seamstress in Montgomery, AL, refused 
 to give up her seat to a white man. Mrs. Parks was arrested marking 
 a milestone in the civil rights movement in the U.S. 
1959 12 countries, including the U.S. and USSR, signed a treaty 
 that set aside Antarctica as a scientific preserve, which would 
 be free from military activity. 
1965 An airlift of refugees from Cuba to the United States began. 
1969 The U.S. government held its first draft lottery since 
 World War II. 
1984 A remote-controlled Boeing 720 jetliner was deliberately 
 crashed into California's Mojave Desert to test an anti-flame 
 fuel additive. The test proved to be disappointing. 
1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan said he would welcome an 
 investigation of the Iran-Contra affair if it were 
 recommended by the Justice Department. 
1987 NASA announced four companies had been given contracts 
 to help build a space station. The companies were Boeing 
 Aerospace, G. E.'s Astro-Space Division, McDonnell Douglas 
 Aeronautics, and Rocketdyne Division of Rockwell International. 
1989 Dissidents in the Philippine military launched an 
 unsuccessful coup against Corazon Aquino's government. 
1989 East Germany's Parliament abolished the Communist Party's 
 constitutional guarantee of supremacy. 
1990 Iraq accepted a U.S. offer to talk about resolving 
 the Persian Gulf crisis. 
1990 British and French workers digging the Channel Tunnel 
 finally met under the English Channel. 
1991 Ukrainians voted overwhelmingly for independence from 
 the Soviet Union. 
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin survived an impeachment 
 attempt by hard-liners at the opening of the Russian Congress. 
1994 The U.S. Senate gave final congressional approval to the 
 124-nation General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade. 
1998 Exxon announced that it was buying Mobil for $73.7 billion 
 creating the largest company in the world to date. 
2014  smiled.


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Scratch card gas 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, November 29

I find it hilarious that the White House now gets hysterical
about too much Ozone. Not too long ago, they w ere getting 
hysterical about the Freon in your fridge killing the Ozone
and letting Canadians getting a sun tan without flying to 
Hawaii or Florida.

This time the turncoats won't bother with your fridge, they 
want to shut down coal fired power plants and make you turn
off your furnace. 

Again, there is no hard proof that the powerplants are 
competing with volcanoes or wildfires, just a consensus 
of grant recipients. 

Ozone is O3, Oxygen with an extra atom. Free Oxygen is O2,
but when you have very energetic combustion or chaotic plasma 
like in a welding arc or lightning, some of those O2 molecules
get ripped apart and are now desperate for mating. They will
latch onto anything, even an O2 molecule, and turn it into O3.

O3 is what you smell when you enter a welding shop, aside from
the smoke of the electrodes. In concentrated form, and excluding
regular air, it could kill you, but as you can tell from 
Millions of old welders, it may lead to consumption of beer, 
but is otherwise harmless.

O3 sooner or later decays and gives it's extra Oxygen atom to
something else, for example to iron. Yes, it WILL rust your 
chastity belt if you live next door to a coal fired powerplant!

If power plant ozone was really a problem, it could be reduced 
by simply turning down the forced air. However, the powerplants
prefer a bit of measurable Ozone, than to allow incomplete
combustion, which would produce potentially carcinogenic 
compounds. They sure don't want to get yelled at about those!
So they crank the air to ensure total and complete combustion.

Sure, at a few of the older powerplants, some ash is not 
filtered out of the smoke stack. That ash is mostly metals
and minerals, the stuff you pay good money for in your 
supplements.

As a photographer, I am against coal fired  and all for 
clean nuclear powerplants, and always have been. 

I find it hilarious that the White House has suddenly seen 
the light and is now against coal, annoying the coal miner's 
unions, that helped get Obama into the White House.

Typical California wildfires:
California

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Pennsylvania woman, who stabbed her boyfriend for starting
to eat the Thanksgiving dinner, wheile she was passed out.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company 
 he and Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer 
 language for the Altair. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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In order to do what really matters to you, you have to, first of all, know what really matters to you." --- Dr. Edward Hallowell: ______________________________________________________ A young woman meets her old, retired, parish priest and when he asks her how she is, she bursts out crying. "What's the matter child?" he asks. "Oh, Father," she says, "it's my boyfriend. He won't marry me because I'm Roman Catholic." "There, there child. Here's what you do. Explain to him the faith of the Church, the traditions, the ceremonies and the rites. That'll bring him around." Tearfully, the young woman says she'll try it. About a year later, they meet again, and again she bursts into tears when he asks how she is doing. "Is it your boyfriend, child?" he asks. "Yes, Father." "Did you explain about the Church as I suggested?" "Yes, Father," she says, "but that was the problem. He was so taken by it that he's now studying to be a priest." ______________________________________________________ A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams and wanted to know what he should do next. His mother suggested, "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?" He thought this was a great idea and arranged a date for the next weekend. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone. He moaned, "Oh, mom, the evening was a complete disaster." His mother said, "Why, didn't she come over?" And the young man said, "Oh, she came over, but she can't cook either!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dad for this picture: Click through for the big picture EarlyChristmasCacti-11-28-2014 They are crowding him off his breakfast table! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jack-Lyn Blake 47 Wilkes-Barre Pennsylvania Pennsylvania woman, 47, stabbed boyfriend for starting thanksgiving dinner without her Incensed that her boyfriend began eating their Thanksgiving dinner while she was asleep following a day of drinking, a Pennsylvania woman grabbed a knife and stabbed the man after chasing him around the dining room table, cops report. Jack-Lyn Blake, 47, is locked up in the Luzerne County jail on an assortment of criminal charges, including aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, reckless endangerment, and making terroristic threats. According to Wilkes-Barre police, officers responded yesterday to Blake’s residence around 6:30 PM after receiving a 911 call about a stabbing. When they arrived at the home, Blake, who was exiting the residence, announced, “I stabbed him.” Further investigation revealed that Blake’s beau, Benjamin Smith, had been stabbed in the chest. Smith, who was pressing a towel to his wound when police arrived, was later treated at a local hospital for the non-life- threatening injury. Smith told officers that he had argued earlier in the day with Blake, who was reportedly intoxicated and had gone upstairs to sleep. While Blake (seen in the above mug shot) snoozed, Smith began Thanksgiving dinner without her. When Blake awoke to discover that the festivities had commenced in her absence, things got bloody. Cops charge that she grabbed a knife and chased Smith around the dinner table. After dodging several stabbing attempts, Smith got knifed by Blake (who also threw the weapon at Smith, striking him in the face). Tech Support Pits From: Fred Re: Fwd.:Be Aware Dear Webby Please read this. It is no joke. Here is the e-mail I was sent: Dear Friends: I know not all of you are women that I am sending this to, but am hoping you will share this with your wives, daughters, mothers, sisters, etc. Our world seems to be getting crazier by the day. Pipe bombs in mail boxes and sickos in parking lots with perfume. Be careful. I was approached yesterday afternoon around 5:30 PM in the Wal-Mart parking lot by two men asking what kind of perfume I .......... Dear Fred Forget it. That is an ancient hoax. You can read up on it. There is no gas that is so potent that it can knock you out with just the tiny amount that can be put into a stack of scratch cards. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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This cowboy was out looking for a job one day. He stopped at a ranchers house to ask the rancher for a job. This rancher looks over the cowboy and thinks to himself, "Waal, he looks ok, 10 gallon hat, denim shirt, denim pants but he's wearing tennis shoes. Guess I'll see what he can do." So the rancher tells the cowboy. "OK, let's see what you can do. Go rope that calf over there and brand it." The cowboy has the calf branded before the little doggie knows what hit him. Well, the rancher is a bit impressed but still not too sure so he gives him another test. "Now break that there bronc", he points to a wild looking stallion in a corral. This cowboy saddles, and rides the bronc, wildest ride you've ever seen. After 5 minutes the bronc is so tired he settles down and the cowboy hand the rancher a tame horse. This rancher is IMPRESSED now. "OK, son you got the job. There's just one question I gotta ask you. You rope and ride real well and you look mostly like a cowboy except for them tennis shoes. Why don't you wear cowboy boots instead of tennis shoes?" The cowboy looks the rancher in the eye and says, "I would wear cowboy boots, but then people would think I was a trucker!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Eggs from Boiling Water I have a plastic, long-handled pasta scoop with a hole in the bottom of its bowl and serrated edge. After eggs are boiled, use the scoop to remove them from the pot, eliminating risk of burn because of scalding water, or dropped eggs. For those of you who color Easter eggs, it is a "must." Source: No; my own discovery. By Cay from FL [1] Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Boudreaux and Rodrigue are out in one of Louisiana's Cajun country swamps when Rodrigue falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. Boudreaux takes out his cell phone and calls 911 for help. "My friend is dead. He jus' pass out. What can I do?" The operator says in a calm soothing voice, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a long silence, then the operator hears a shot. Boudreaux's voice comes back on the line. "Okay," he says. "Now what?" ______________________________________________________ A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet. He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning up that horse manure, I'll eat every chunk of it." She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?" The Salesman says, "why do you ask?" She says, "We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."


Cascade of flowers

Today in 
1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a 
 militia led by Colonel John Chivington killed at least 400 
 peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had surrendered 
 and had been given permission to camp. 
1890 Navy defeated Army by a score of 24-0 in the first 
 Army-Navy football game. The game was played at West Point, NY. 
1892 A patent was issued to Almon Brown Strowger for the 
 rotary dial. 
1929 The first airplane flight over the South Pole was made by 
 U.S. Navy Lt. Comdr. Richard E. Byrd. 
1939 The USSR broke off diplomatic relations with Finland prior 
 to a Soviet attack. 
1945 The monarchy was abolished in Yugoslavia and a republic 
 proclaimed. 
1947 The U.N. General Assembly passed a resolution that called 
 for the division of Palestine between Arabs and Jews. 
1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S. 
 with Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth 
 twice before landing off Puerto Rico. 
1963 A Trans-Canada Airlines DC-8F with 111 passengers and 
 7 crew members crashed in woods north of Montreal 4 minutes 
 after takeoff from Dorval Airport. All aboard were killed. 
 The crash was the worst in Canada's history. 
1974 In Britain, a bill that outlawed the Irish Republican 
 Army became effective. 
1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company 
 he and Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer 
 language for the Altair. 
1981 Actress Natalie Wood drowned in a boating accident off 
 Santa Catalina Island, CA, at the age 43. 
1982 The U.N. General Assembly voted that the Soviet Union 
 should withdraw its troops from Afghanistan. 
1987 A Korean jetliner disappeared off Burma, with 115 
 people aboard. 
1987 Cuban detainees released 26 hostages they'd been 
 holding for more than a week at the Federal Detention 
 Center in Oakdale, LA. 
1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the rights of criminal 
 defendants are not violated when police unintentionally fail 
 to preserve potentially vital evidence. 
1989 In Czechoslovakia, the Communist-run parliament ended the 
 party's 40-year monopoly on power. 
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to authorize military 
 action if Iraq did not withdraw its troops from Kuwait and 
 release all foreign hostages by January 15, 1991. 
1991 17 people were killed in a 164-vehicle wreck during a 
 dust storm near Coalinga, CA, on Interstate 5. 
1994 Fighter jets attacked the capital of Chechnya and its 
 airport only hours after Russian President Boris Yeltsin 
 demanded the breakaway republic end its civil war. 
1996 A U.N. court sentenced Bosnian Serb army soldier Drazen 
 Erdemovic to 10 years in prison for his role in the 
 massacre of 1,200 Muslims. The sentence was the first 
 international war crimes sentence since World War II. 
1998 Swiss voters overwhelmingly rejected legalizing 
 heroin and other narcotics. 
2004 The French government announced plans to build the 
Louvre II in northern France. The 236,808 square foot 
 museum was the planned home for 500-600 works from the 
 Louvre's reserves. 
2014  smiled.


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Change Windows 7 icon text 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 28
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you, Nancy!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Floriduh woman, who took swig of vodka 
during DUI stop
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1520 - Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific Ocean 
  after passing through the South American strait. The strait was named 
  after him. He was the first European to sail the Pacific from the east. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) ______________________________________________________ Two Jews had businesses on the same street. One had customers coming and going and the other, well, maybe two or three a day. Finally, Morris, whose business was doing badly, decided to visit Shapiro, who was doing very well. Going in the door, he saw a large banner over the entrance which read : "GOING OUT OF BUSINESS SALE." Morris wanted to know why Shapiro was going out of business, since he seemed to be doing so well. Shapiro confided, "That sign has been in my window for almost 18 years. If I took it down, I would go out of business." ______________________________________________________ Sometimes you will cry, and no one will see your tears Sometimes you will laugh, and no one will see you smile Sometimes you will fear, and no one will see you shudder Sometimes you will fall, and no one sees you struggle Sometimes you will be late, and no one seems to notice But fart just one time ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture: Click through for the big picture Massachusetts Fall ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Frances Riney 66 of Port St. Lucie Floriduh Woman took swig of vodka during DUI stop Looks like she had her drivers license, registration and 100% proof insurance. When a deputy asked a driver, identified as Frances Riney, of Port St. Lucie, for her driver’s license, she handed him a bag of chips, records show. In Riney's second attempt to hand over her license, she handed the deputy water and then took a swig of vodka from a bottle, deputies said. Riney allegedly then told the deputy she'd had enough booze and was driving home. I haven't got the details yet, but I have a hunch the deputies disagreed with the driving part of that statement. The mug shot appears to be from a previous incident. Tech Support Pits From: Christine Re: Change Icon text but nothing else Dear Webby You taught me once how to do this on Windows 98, and I remembered it for XP, but for Windows 7 it seems I need different cusswords. Why? And how do I get around the limpwristed faggy Aero fading nonsense, that is just wasting time and does NOT belong onto a working machine? Is it time to step up to Linux? Christine Dear Christine Why? W7 was mostly done in Asia by people, who could not get into the US to become 7-11 staffers. They screwed up the user interface, but lucky for you and me, they missed one of the many themes. Right-click on the desktop Personalize Go way down to Windows 7 Basic Select that to get away from the thilly fading Then go a bit further down And then click on Window Color Yeah, right, as intuitive as a Taliban trying to fake blonde logic! However, inside that is the old Windows 95 TweakUI, 98, XP personalization, that they somehow forgot to screw up! There you can set the color of your top bars to green fading to blue for active, and wine fading to gray for inactive, just like you had since Windows 95, and you can set Icons, icon text fonts, sizes, colors, and all the customizations you are used to. When done, save it as a theme with your name. Whether it is time to step up to Linux, that depends on you. Don't do it alone! First lurk on Linux forums and gradually get to know some people. Some are smart-ass kids, but most are friendly and helpful. Latch on to one and discuss migrating to Linux. With a friendly "Godfather" helping you, it will be a breeze. If you still have your old XP, that would make it a lot easier. Even a 12 year old XP will be twice as fast as a brand new W7 or W8 computer. With Linux it will be more than good enough. Then you can network them and transfer files, and gradually migrate to Linux. That eliminates the fear, that you might be in a new operating system and not able to get forgotten files. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Thanks to Sandie for this story: Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, "Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk," worth 70 points or none at all. One student , in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote: 1.) It is perfect formula for the child. 2.) It provides immunity against several diseases. 3.) It is always the right temperature. 4.) It is inexpensive. 5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa. 6.) It is always available as needed. And then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell indicating the end of the test rang, he wrote... 7.) It comes in cute containers. He got an A
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com New Year, New Calendar >From Cindy How reliable is that Mymemorizer, that you praised so highly? Cindy Dear Cindy I have used it probably about 15 years, and it has never malfunctioned. You can access it from different devices, and you can even tell it to send the reminders as txt to your phone. You can use different colors for different doctors or family members, and there are probably some features, that I have not come across yet. There is some help and manual, but so far I have not needed them. Try it, it's free anyway! Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ A customer was so infatuated with his waitress he decided to ask her for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and confronted her. With a total lack of finesse, he blurted out his invitation. To his amazement, she readily consented. He said, "Why have you been avoiding me since you served me? You wouldn't even make eye contact." "Oh," replied the waitress, "I thought you wanted more coffee." ______________________________________________________ Lost Gas Cap Daniel filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost. Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit. Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click. "Great," Daniel thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits. "And this one's even better because it locks!"


Turkey leftover recipes

Today in 
1520 - Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific Ocean 
  after passing through the South American strait. The strait was named 
  after him. He was the first European to sail the Pacific from the east. 
1582 - William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway were married. 
1922 - Capt. Cyril Turner of the Royal Air Force gave the first public 
  exhibition of skywriting. He spelled out, "Hello USA. 
  Call Vanderbilt 7200" over New York's Times Square. 
1925 - The Grand Ole Opry made its radio debut on station WSM. 
1942 - 491 people died in a fire that destroyed the Coconut Grove
  in Boston. 
1953 - New York City began 11 days without newspapers due to a strike 
  of photoengravers. 
1958 - The African nation of Chad became an autonomous republic 
  within the French community. 
1963 - U.S. President Johnson announced that Cape Canaveral 
  would be renamed Cape Kennedy in honor of his assassinated 
  predecessor. The name was changed back to Cape Canaveral in 
  1973 by a vote of residents. 
1964 - The U.S. launched the space probe Mariner IV from Cape 
  Canaveral on a course set for Mars. 
1978 - The Iranian government banned religious marches. 
1979 - An Air New Zealand DC-10 flying to the South Pole 
  crashed in Antarctica killing all 257 people aboard. 
1983 - The space shuttle Columbia took off with the STS-9 Spacelab 
  in its cargo bay. 
1987 - A South African Airways Boeing 747 crashed into the Indian 
  Ocean. All 159 people aboard were killed. 
1990 - Margaret Thatcher resigned as prime minister of Britain. 
1992 - In King William's Town, South Africa, black militant gunmen 
  attacked a country club killing four people and injuring 20. 
1994 - Jeffrey Dahmer, a convicted serial killer, was clubbed to 
 death in a Wisconsin prison by a fellow inmate. 
1994 - Norwegian voters rejected European Union membership. 
1995 - U.S. President Clinton signed a $6 billion road bill that 
  ended the federal 55 mph speed limit. 
2010 - WikiLeaks released to the public more than 250,000 U.S. 
  diplomatic cables. About 100,000 were marked "secret" or 
 "confidential." 
2014  smiled.


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Is CrapCleaner safe? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 27

Happy Thanksgiving Day, if you are in the USA!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an
Illinois crook, who faked a 911 call 
to avoid traffic ticket
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1970 Pope Paul VI, visiting the Philippines, was attacked at 
the Manila airport by a Bolivian painter disguised as a priest. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves. --- Rudyard Kipling (1865 - 1936) ______________________________________________________ A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It´s too hot. It´s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin´ ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone," the guide said. "Unfortunately, it´s being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow." "We can´t be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can´t kiss the stupid stone." "Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you´ll have the same good fortune." "And I suppose you´ve kissed the stone," the woman scoffed. "No, ma´am," the frustrated guide said, "but I´ve sat on it!!!" ______________________________________________________ At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture: Click through for the big picture Old ice Pond, Maine ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jose Navarro Jr. also known as Jorge Navarro Jr. 23, Oak Lawn, Illinois. Jose Navarro Jr. Faked 911 Call To Avoid Traffic Ticket Nobody likes getting a traffic ticket, but calling in a fake shooting is not a way to get out of it. But that was the method Jose Navarro, Jr., allegedly used early Sunday morning after being pulled over by police in Oak Lawn, Illinois. Police said that during the traffic stop Navarro called 911 and falsely reported hearing eight gunshots. He also claimed that a man had been shot and was lying on the ground a few blocks away from where the police had stopped him, the Chicago Tribune reports. The idea, according to police, is that the officers who had pulled over Navarro would leave him to respond to the more serious call. It sort of worked: Several officers did drive to the scene with their emergency lights on, only to discover it was bogus, according to RedEye Chicago. Police then asked Navarro about the shooting and he allegedly admitted making it up to avoid getting traffic tickets, Patch Illinois reports. Navarro was arrested on a variety of charges including a felony charge for the made-up 911 call. He was also cited for illegal transportation of an open alcohol container, speeding, no seat belt, driving without lights and improper lane usage. He was ordered held on $50,000 bail on Sunday. The gang membership tattoo on his neck probably did not make the cops any more friendly than they were. Tech Support Pits From: Jerry Re: Is CrapCleaner safe Hi... I sent you an E-Mail last week and did'nt recive any reply... So, Guess I'll thy again... Can you tell me anything about the CrapCleaner... I've downloaded it,from your site here...but I don't want to use it unless I know its safe... Well it delete my files and/or programs that are on my Desktop ??? Thank You for any info... --- Jerry --- Dear Jerry Crap Cleaner is perfectly safe. It will just delete useless crap. If you are using cookies to sign in at the bank and places like that, take the checkmark off the cookies. Then it will leave those alone. It will show you first what it has found that is useless crap. You can look that over and un-check stuff if you think you might need. CrapCleaner will remember your preferences and next time not suggest anything that you had unchecked the last time. Quite often, if your machine slows down and gets close to stalling, running CrapCleaner will get things moving again and speed up the machine. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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Just before their first long deployment two Navy buddies were talking about the stress of leaving their families. A senior officer, a veteran of many deployments, overheard the conversation and offered the following advice: "You must be sensitive to your wives' emotional needs," he said. "Never, ever, whistle while you pack!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com New Year, New Calendar As 2015 quickly approaches, I purchase a new calendar and write down all the birthdays of people I want to send a card/give a gift to. I use the 2014 calendar and go month by month to do that. For other appointments and important dates that I need to remember throughout the year, I purchase a small pack of sticky notes and I write just the appointment time and doctor's name or whatever on the sticky note and then I put it on the corresponding date of the appointment. For example, Dr Smith 2:45PM and I put the sticky note on the date i.e. January 13th. Dinner with Connie 6:00PM at Forrester's etc. etc. That way, if I have to change the appointment time, I don't have to scratch it off. I just move the sticky note and write the new time down, if necessary. That way, my calendar stays fairly neat looking without ink scratched off all over the place. There are a lot of sticky notes per pad and they are fairly inexpensive. Source: A co-worker from a long time ago By Kathy [57] Just get MyMemorizer from http://mymemorizer.com It is free and sends emails to you at intervals prior to the event, that YOU set, for example, 1 day before, 2,3,5 days, 1 week, 2, 3 weeks, 1 month before, etc. Plus it has a high visibility calendar that you can flip from month to month. Quite civilized, and free! Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was going though. One day the girl was convinced that the pain on her left side was appendicitis. Her mother explained that the appendix is on the right. "So that's why it hurts to much," her daughter said. "My appendix is on the wrong side." ______________________________________________________ Man to Ticket Agent: I want to buy a bus ticket for Norwald. Ticket Agent, Searching Book: "Norwald? Let me find that. Hmm... never heard of it. Let me see... Norwald. I don't see Norwald listed, and I can't find it on the map. Just where is Norwald, anyway?" Man: "Over there. He's my brother-in-law."


Triplet Images

Today in 
1889 Curtis P. Brady was issued the first permit to drive an 
  automobile through Central Park in New York City. 
1901 The Army War College was established in Washington, DC. 
1910 New York's Pennsylvania Station opened. 
1970 Pope Paul VI, visiting the Philippines, was attacked at 
  the Manila airport by a Bolivian painter disguised as a priest. 
1973 The U.S. Senate voted to confirm Gerald R. Ford as vice 
  president after the resignation of Spiro T. Agnew. 
1978 San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and City Supervisor 
  Harvey Milk, a gay-rights activist, were shot to death inside 
  City Hall by Dan White, a former supervisor. 
1983 183 people were killed when a Colombian Avianca Airlines 
  Boeing 747 crashed near Barajas airport in Madrid. 
1985 The British House of Commons approved the Anglo-Irish 
  accord giving Dublin a consulting role in the governing of 
  British-ruled Northern Ireland. 
1989 107 people were killed when a bomb destroyed a Colombian 
  jetliner minutes after the plane had taken off from Bogota's 
  international airport. Police blamed the incident on drug 
  traffickers. 
1992 In Venezuela, rebel forces tried but failed to overthrow 
 President Carlos Andres Perez for the second time in ten months.
2014  smiled.


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Audio drivers 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 26



Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Dopey Pennsylvania burglar found 
sleeping in school, with dope.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1992 The British government announced that Queen Elizabeth II 
  had volunteered to start paying taxes on her personal 
  income. She also took her children off the public payroll. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject. --- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders. --- Foster's Law ______________________________________________________ A salesman attending a meeting on the coast was held up when a severe storm and a flood washed out the local airport. He wired his office: "Delayed by storm. Send instructions." His boss wired back: "We'll answer your calls. Your vacation has been approved to start immediately." ______________________________________________________ Upon retiring from the service, Don, needed a new ID card showing he had gone from active duty to retirement status. But the photo taken of him was not particularly good and he wasn't at all quiet about it. "If I have to carry that ID around with me for the rest of my life," he complained to the photographer, "I want a better picture." "Want a better picture?" asked the photographer defiantly. "Then bring us a better face!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture: Click through for the big picture Ouachita River in Louisiana ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to John-Paul Sabara, 35, Middletown, PA Dopey burglar found sleeping in school, with dope Police outside Philadelphia say they found a man sleeping in a school hallway with a glass smoking pipe and a bag of synthetic marijuana marked "Scooby Snax." The Bucks County Courier Times reports police discovered John-Paul Sabara inside the Tawanka Learning Center in Lower Southampton around 3:20 a.m. Monday after spotting a bicycle parked outside the building. Police say the 35-year-old Middletown man growled, made strange sounds and acted aggressively toward officers trying to wake him. Police said Sabara also had a cellphone, memory cards and children's sneakers. He was arraigned on charges included criminal trespassing and drug possession and jailed in lieu of 10 percent of $500,000 bail. Sabara has previously served time for assault, burglary and firearm convictions. Tech Support Pits From: Jorge Re: Audio driver Hi Dear Webby, Working a problem with an installation of a Zoiper.com soft phone to use on my sonetel.com International phone setup. Installation program/diagnostics tell me that it is not finding my headset (earphones, microphone). I am trying to find out why and get this setup working. Activated, and ran my old inactive copy of DriverUpdate.net - got the latest update. Ran it and it tells me that there are 16 drivers either out-of-date or missing. Will cost me $30 to renew for another year. Was wondering if you had a favorite driver updater? Would rather seek your advice and buy through you than take a chance with this unknown. (Also their terms and conditions allow them a lot of leeway to bombard me with additional offers from them and all their friends/cousins/etc.!) Checked your list but didn't see any driver-updaters listed.... Am downloading a copy of Audacity to use it to see if my audio settings will work for it... test my Win 7 32 bit PC with something simpler than Zoiper... What say you, Sage of Alberta? What would you suggest? Kindest personal regards, Jorge Dear Jorge That is crooked bullshit. You can get free drivers from the manufacturer, IF you need them, AND for headsets you don't need any drivers. They just plug into the green socket for the earphones and the pink socket for the microphone. There is no software involved. Straight electrical. If you use a microphone older than you are, and speakers also older thna you are, they use the same audio drivers as the most modern headsets from Japan. Keep in mind, the Tooth fairie did not install new transistors into your audio amplifier while you were sleeping. There is NO change there, and the driver, that worked, when you bought your computer, still works. If your sockets are not damaged from throwing stuff onto the plugged in plugs, the speakers and the microphone work. It makes NO difference if you use a separate microphone or a mike on a head set. It is just electrical, not soft. Anybody telling you something different, is a crooked liar. Tell them to go ......... and to stick their phony driver updates where the sun don't shine! If you are worried your sockets have been damaged, try "Echo" on Skype. It will echo back to you what you have said. And yes, Audacity will be a good test too. It shows you a graph of the microphone input, and when you play it back, if you can't hear it, then your speaker socket is damaged. (Or the speakers are not powered. They need to be plugged in!) If the sockets are damaged, then you need to fix or replace them, and all the software updates in the world are not going to help there. If you are concerned about your audio drivers, get the Belarc Advisor from my tool box and see what kind of audio hardware you got installed. Then check if that company has a new driver. If they do, it will be free. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
One day a co-worker told my friend, Stan, that she was going home early because she didn't feel well. Since Stan was just getting over something himself, he wished her well and said he hoped it wasn't something he had given her. A fellow worker piped up, "I sure hope not. She has morning sickness."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Turkey Breasts If you don't feel up to baking a whole turkey, the turkey breasts are a great option. They take much less time to thaw, give you lots of good breast meat and even have a gravy packet inside to help. If it is the day before Thanksgiving, unless you buy a fresh turkey, this may be your only option. Susan from ThriftyFun RIP ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Men are good for only one thing! Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to my mother to complain. Trying to console me, my dad said that men are not all like this all the time. "Nonsense," I said. "Men are good for only one thing!" "Yes," my mother interjected, "but how often do you have to parallel park?" ______________________________________________________ "Doctor!" said the woman as she loudly bounced into the room, "I want you to tell me very frankly what's wrong with me." He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you." "First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds. Second, you should use about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist - the doctor's office is on the next floor...."


Cool Braids

Today in 
1716 The first lion to be exhibited in America went on 
  display in Boston, MA. 
1789 U.S. President Washington set aside this day to observe 
  the adoption of the Constitution of the United States. 
1832 Public streetcar service began in New York City. 
1867 J.B. Sutherland patented the refrigerated railroad car. 
1917 The National Hockey League (NHL) was officially formed 
  in Montreal, Canada. 
1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter peered into the tomb of King 
  Tutankhamen. 
1940 The Nazis forced 500,000 Jews of Warsaw, Poland to 
  live within a walled ghetto. 
1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a bill 
  establishing the fourth Thursday in November as Thanksgiving 
  Day. In 1939 Roosevelt had signed a bill that changed the 
  celebration of Thanksgiving to the third Thursday of November. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered nationwide 
  gasoline rationing to begin December 1. 
1942 The motion picture "Casablanca" had its world premiere 
  at the Hollywood Theater in New York City. 
1943 The HMS Rohna became the first ship to be sunk by a 
  guided missile. The German missile attack led to the death 
  of 1,015 U.S. troops. 
1949 India's Constituent Assembly adopted the country's 
  constitution The country became republic within the British 
  Commonwealth two months later. 
1950 China entered the Korean conflict forcing UN forces to retreat. 
1958 Maurice Richard (Montreal Canadiens) scored his 600th NHL 
  career goal. 
1965 France became the third country to enter space when it launched 
  its first satellite the Diamant-A. 
1973 Rose Mary Woods, told a federal court that she was responsible 
  for the 18-1/2 minute gap in a key Watergate tape. Woods was U.S. 
  President Nixon's personal secretary. 
1975 Lynette"Squeaky" Fromme was found guilty by a federal jury in 
  Sacramento, CA, for trying to assassinate U.S. President Ford 
  on September 5. 
1979 The International Olympic Committee voted to re-admit China 
  after a 21-year absence. 
1983 A Brinks Mat Ltd. vault at London's Heathrow Airport was 
  robbed by gunmen. The men made off with 6,800 gold bars worth 
  nearly $40 million. Only a fraction of the gold has ever been 
  recovered and only two men were convicted in the heist. 
1985 The rights to Richard Nixon's autobiography were acquired 
  by Random House for $3,000,000. 
1986 U.S. President Reagan appointed a commission headed by 
  former Sen. John Tower to investigate his National Security 
  Council staff after the Iran-Contra affair. 
1988 The U.S. denied an entry visa to PLO chairman Yasser 
  Arafat, who was seeking permission to travel to New York 
  to address the U.N. General Assembly. 
1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev met with Iraqi 
  Foreign Minister Tariq Aziz at the Kremlin to demand 
  that Iraq withdraw from Kuwait. 
1990 Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. agreed to acquire 
  MCA Inc. for $6.6 billion. 
1992 The British government announced that Queen Elizabeth II 
  had volunteered to start paying taxes on her personal 
  income. She also took her children off the public payroll. 
1995 Two men set fire to a subway token booth in the Brooklyn 
  borough of New York City. The clerk inside was fatally burned. 
1997 The U.S. and North Korea held high-level discussions at 
  the State Department for the first time. 
1998 British Prime Minister Tony Blair made a speech to the 
  Irish Parliament. It was a first time event for a 
  British Prime Minister. 
1998 Hulk Hogan announced that he was retiring from pro wrestling 
  and would run for president in 2000. 
2003 The U.N. atomic agency adopted a resolution that censured 
  Iran for past nuclear cover-ups and warning that it would be 
  policed to put to rest suspicions that the country had a 
  weapons agenda. 
2011 The Mars Science Laboratory/Curiosity spacecraft launched 
  from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL. The Mars rover 
  Curiosity landed on the floor of Gale Crater on August 6, 2012. 
2014  smiled.


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Restore lost desktop icons 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, November 25

Thank you, Sig!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Floriduh man accused of almost running 
down deputy in Kohl's parking lot
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1936 The Anti-Comintern Pact, an agreement between Japan and 
 Germany, was signed. The US started preparing for WWII 
 and Ford started building bombers.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
Only the shallow know themselves. --- Oscar Wilde When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. --- Mark Twain ______________________________________________________ A little Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall for the first time. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father. "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is". While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again, and a beautiful 24 year-old woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly "Son, go get your Mother." ______________________________________________________ Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to bed not speaking to each other. Needing to arise early the following morning, Mr. Smith left a note on his wife's bedside table that said, "Wake me at six." An exasperated Mr. Smith awoke at ten the following morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his bedside table: "It's six, you bum! Get out of bed!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Janina for this picture: Click through for the big picture Dear Webby, Thank you for always sharing such good advice and humor to bring a smile to so many of us! Our temps are already 65f this morning - I know it's the jolt of warmth before the predicted Nor'easter comes through with winds, rains and snow on Wednesday and Thanksgiving. Just sharing a photo I was able to take of this Hawk visiting my area this morning. I heard a commotion of birds shrills outside, grabbed my camera and found this in the tree. Beautiful creature, don't you agree?! Janina from NJ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Alexander Ruff, Viera, Floriduh Floriduh man accused of almost running down deputy in Kohl's parking lot VIERA, Fla. Authorities in Brevard County are throwing the book at a man suspected of trying to run down an officer Alexander Ruff was wanted for stealing from a Kohl's Department Store in Viera on Monday, but now he's facing much more serious charges. Ruff is charged with aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer, fleeing and eluding, reckless driving, grand theft and more. A loss-prevention officer said he spotted Ruff stealing and called a deputy. In the parking lot of the store, the deputy injured his ankle as he dived away from Ruff's fleeing car. A chase ensued and covered about 14 miles to Cox Road in Cocoa. In court, prosecutors referred to Ruff's arrest record, which includes drug possession, credit card fraud, grand theft and dealing in stolen property. "He was originally placed on probation in these two cases in April of this year. Within a month he had violated," said prosecutor Gary Beatty. Ruff is being held without bail. Tech Support Pits From: Leesa Re: Lost desktop icons Hi Dear Webby, Greetings to you this fine morning. Hope all goes well in your world. I am stumped, and hope you can help me with this. Over the years the desktop icons and the Start Menu links to several games have been deleted. The games are still on the computer...see them in there when I did a Search...but I haven't a clue how to get them set up on the desktop and/or Start Menu so they can be played. Can't uninstall them because there is no way I could ever get them back. They were downloaded after purchase from various companies. I do have the registration codes for most of them. Your help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks a bunch. Havin' fun now Leesa Dear Leesa Yeah, Windows does loose desktop icons, especially if you change resolutions. 1) Search the games, 2) right-click 3) Make Desktop Shortcut 4) Drag the shortcut to the desktop. 5) Make a desktop folder and call it Games 6) Repeat steps 1,2,3,4 Drag the second icon into the Games folder. Now, the next time Windows looses it's marbles, you can simply CTRL-drag an icon from the Games folder onto the desktop. CTRL-drag will put a copy onto the desktop, without deleting the one in the Games folder. Windows will probably complain, that there is already one of those, even though it is not visible. Tell it to go ahead anyway. It may add [2] to the name of it, but that's OK. It will work just fine. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle. "That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the enemy, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang.'" "But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young (and gullible) recruit. The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this ... just go, 'Stabity Stab Stab.'" The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, an enemy soldier charges at him. The recruit points the broom. "Bangety Bang Bang!" The enemy falls dead. More enemies appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens. Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one enemy soldier walking slowly toward him. "Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit. The enemy keeps coming. "Bangety Bang Bang!" repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" It's no use. The enemy keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, mumbling "Tankety Tank Tank."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Litter Box Cover I have a large Rubbermaid-type storage container covering my kitty's litter box in my storage room. She used to kick litter all over the place. Now I have much less to sweep up, plus it looks much more pleasant for company. Turn the container upside-down and cut a doghouse-style opening in either the broad side or the end. Having the opening on the end will make an even more enclosed and private litter box. Use either a box cutter or strong shears, but be careful the plastic can be very tough. Once you've cut the opening, lay the lid on the floor. Place the box on top of it and snap the inverted container back on the lid. It only takes a few dollars and a few minutes to make a piece of furniture that is completely washable and will last practically forever. By Abigail A. [3] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ The man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman. "No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of gold." She said she didn't believe him so she called the bar. "Hello," she said, "I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question: "Are your urinals covered in gold?" To which she heard the bartender said, "Hey, Clarence, I think we found the drunk who peed into your tuba!" ______________________________________________________ "Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?" The father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right." "That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "but you could at least give it a try, couldn't you?"


Cool Braids

Today in 
1715 Sybilla Thomas Masters became the first American to be 
 granted an English patent for cleaning and curing Indian 
 corn. 
1758 During the French and Indian War, the British captured 
 Fort Duquesne at what is now known as Pittsburgh. 
1783 During the Revolutionary War, the British evacuated 
 New York. New York was their last military position in 
 the U.S. 
1837 William Crompton patented the silk power loom. 
1850 Texas relinquished one-third of its territory in 
 exchange for $10 million from the U.S. to pay its public 
 debts and settle border disputes. 
1867 Alfred Nobel patented dynamite. 
1884 J.B. Meyenberg received the patent for evaporated milk. 
1936 The Anti-Comintern Pact, an agreement between Japan and 
 Germany, was signed. The US started preparing for WWII.
1947 Movie studio executives meeting in New York agreed to 
 blacklist the "Hollywood 10," who were cited a day earlier 
 and jailed for contempt of Congress when they failed to 
 cooperate with the House Un-American Activities Committee. 
1973 Greek President George Papadapoulos was ousted in 
 military coup. 
1976 O.J. Simpson (Buffalo Bills) ran for 273 yards against 
 the Detroit Lions. 
1983 Mediators from Syria and Saudi Arabia announced a 
 cease-fire in the PLO civil war in Tripoli, Lebanon. 
1986 U.S. President Reagan and Attorney Gen. Edwin Meese 
 revealed that profits from secret arms sales to Iran had 
 been diverted to rebels in Nicaragua. National Security 
 Advisor John Poindexter resigned and Oliver North was fired. 
1990 Poland held its first popular presidential election. 
1992 The Czech parliament voted to split the country into 
 separate Czech and Slovak republics beginning January 1, 1993. 
1993 Egyptian Prime Minister Atef Sedki escaped an attempt 
 on his life when a bomb was detonated by Islamic militants 
 near his motorcade. 
1998 Britain's highest court ruled that former Chilean dictator 
 Augusto Pinochet, whose extradition was being sought by Spain, 
 could not claim immunity from prosecution for the crimes he 
 committed during his rule. 
1998 President Jiang Zemin arrived in Tokyo for the first visit 
 to Japan by a Chinese head of state since World War II. 
1998 The IMF (International Monetary Fund) approved a $5.5 billion 
 bailout for Pakistan.
2014  smiled.


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She can't get Actioncat cards 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 24

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Texan Bonehead, who Assaulted Girlfriend in
Hospital Before Biting Security Guard
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1998 AOL (America Online) announced a deal for their 
 purchase of Netscape for $4.21 billion. They killed and
 shelved Netscape and used Microsoft Internet Explorer
 instead of Netscape. There were no more updates or
 support for Netscape after AOL bought and killed it.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money. --- Arthur Miller A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students. --- John Ciardi ______________________________________________________ There are three ways to get things done: 1) do it yourself 2) hire someone to do it 3) forbid your kids to do it ______________________________________________________ A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture: Click through for the big picture Kentucky Fall ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Matthew Johnson, 23 Corpus Christie Texas Texan Bonehead Assaulted Girlfriend in Hospital Before Biting Security Guard A man in Corpus Christi, Texas, is behind bars after allegedly assaulting his girlfriend in a hospital while she was recovering from giving birth. The suspect, Matthew Johnson, 23, is also accused of biting a security guard who tried to remove him from Christus Spohn Hospital South. The alleged attack happened Tuesday after his 25-year-old girlfriend went to the nursery to see her child. When she returned, Johnson allegedly accused her of sleeping with hospital staff members and began punching her in the back of the head, according to KIII TV. Hospital staff and two security guards heard the ruckus and tried to remove Johnson from the premises, KZTV reports. The suspect allegedly refused and during an ensuing scuffle, police said Johnson bit a 56-year-old security guard on the thigh, breaking skin, according to the Corpus Christi Caller Times. Johnson was arrested for family violence assault and assault of a security officer, a third-degree felony. He was jailed in lieu of $11,000 bail. Tech Support Pits From: Courtenay Re: Can't get Actioncat.com cards Dear Webby! Hi again. I used Actioncat many times in the past with no problem with my yahoo account. Tonight I sent on from my gmail address to a gmail address and still nothing. There is no way to contact the person running the site... do you think it's more a website issue or still an email issue? Sent from my iPhone Dear Courtenay Meow! For Tester only! Tester sent you a postcard from Action Cat. To pick it up, just click on the link below: http://actioncat.com/platinum/ActionCatcard.cgi?1123233611044532 It works fine for me. Maybe your phone thinks you are a yahoo, or maybe you logged onto the net via Yahoo. Actioncat sends out the card pick-up notices to whatever you specified as the recipient address. Actioncat does not care what you specified. If there is any censoring, it is at the recipient end. Some days, when the card sending is hectic, it may take up to ten minutes until your card pick-up notice arrives, but it WILL arrive, unless there is censoring at your end. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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A wealthy executive boarded a New York to Chicago train. He explained to the porter, "I'm a heavy sleeper, but I want you to be sure and wake me up at 3:00 am for the stop in Buffalo. I don't care what I say, you just make sure I get off in Buffalo." The next morning the executive woke up in Chicago. He was furious. He found the porter and really gave him an earful before hustling off to purchase a return ticket. After he left, a co-worker said to the porter, "How can you stand there and let that passenger abuse you like that?" "That's nothing," said the porter. "You should have heard the guy I kicked out in Buffalo!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bagel Slicer for Vegetables I constantly need to slice veggies like zucchini, eggplant and onions thinly for recipes and to dehydrate. Finally today I realized I could use the bagel slicer I received as a gift (and that I use so rarely) for this project too and make it more multifunctional! It held the onion firmly enough to get some great slices without any 'slips'! Just thought it might benefit my friends who may also have trouble slicing safely and thinly! :D By Donna [168] Look for a Borner V-Slicer. They are like a "Mandolin", but the blades are in V formation. With that you can slice veggies as thin as paper or about 3/16" thick (about the same as with your bagel slicer). The veggies or fruit are held by a computer mouse size grip to keep your hands safe, and you just slide the mouse back and forth in the tray. Works very fast! You can also cut tomatoes or potatoes or fruit into into cubes. I have used them since the 70's. The blades last about 15 years with heavy use. A paper thin slice of hot, red onion will do wonders for any hamburger or sandwich, and few people can figure out why it tastes so fresh and refreshing. This is not an ad. I just love my V-Slicer. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest tranquilizers used regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers worked?" "Yes" the mother answered. "And how is your son now?" he asked. "Who cares?" she replied. ______________________________________________________ Anna gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to economy because she doesn't have a first class ticket. Anna replies, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the co-pilot. The co-pilot goes up to Anna and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the economy section. The head stewardess asked the co-pilot what he said to get her to move. The co-pilot replied, "My wife has the same hair color. I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica".


Amphibious Machines

Today in 
1615 French King Louis XIII married Ann of Austria. They 
 were both 14 years old. 
1859 Charles Darwin, a British naturalist, published 
 "On the Origin of Species." It was the paper in which he 
 explained his theory of evolution through the process of 
 natural selection. 
1863 During the Civil War, the battle for Lookout Mountain 
 began in Tennessee. 
1874 Joseph F. Glidden was granted a patent for a barbed 
 fencing material. 
1903 Clyde J. Coleman received the patent for an electric 
 self-starter for an automobile. 
1940 Nazis closed off the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw, Poland
 after they had staged a bloody riot. Over the next three 
 years the population dropped from 350,000 to 70,000 due 
 to starvation, disease and deportations to concentration 
 camps. 
1944 During World War II, the first raid against the Japanese 
 capital of Tokyo was made by land-based U.S. bombers. 
1947 The "Hollywood 10," were cited for contempt of Congress 
 for refusing to answer questions about alleged Communist 
 influence in their industry. 
1963 Dallas nightclub owner Jack Ruby shot and killed Lee 
 Harvey Oswald live on national television. 
1969 Apollo 12 landed safely in the Pacific Ocean bringing 
 an end to the second manned mission to the moon. 
1971 Hijacker Dan Cooper, known as D.B. Cooper, parachuted 
 from a Northwest Airlines 727 over Washington state with 
 $200,000 in ransom. 
1983 The Palestine Liberation Organization released six 
 Israeli prisoners in exchange for the release of 4,500 
 Palestinians and Lebanese held by the Israelis. 
1985 In Malta, Egyptian commandos stormed an Egyptian 
 jetliner. 60 people died in the raid. 
1987 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to scrap short- 
 and medium-range missiles. It was the first superpower 
 treaty to eliminate an entire class of nuclear weapons. 
1989 Czechoslovakia's hard-line party leadership resigned 
 after more than a week of protests against its policies. 
1992 In China, a domestic jetliner crashed, killing 141. 
1993 The U.S. Congress gave its final approval to the 
 Brady handgun control bill. 
1993 Robert Thompson and Jon Venables (both 11 years old) 
 were convicted of murdering 2-year-old James Bulger of 
 Liverpool, England. They were both sentenced to 
 "indefinite detention". and released after five years. 
1995 In Ireland, the voters narrowly approved a 
 constitutional amendment legalizing divorce. 
1998 AOL (America Online) announced a deal for their 
 purchase of Netscape for $4.21 billion. They killed and
 shelved Netscape and used Microsoft Internet Explorer
 instead of Netscape. There were no more updates or
 support for Netscape after AOL bought and killed it.
2014  smiled.


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McAfee Remover 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, November 23

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Floriduh drunk who expected service at a Taco Bell
after 3 am, and then grabbed a cop.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1889 The first jukebox made its debut in San Francisco, 
 at the Palais Royale Saloon.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle. --- Ken Hakuta We don't bother much about dress and manners in England, because as a nation we don't dress well and we've no manners. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ Kyle and Justin were sitting down to eat their supper with the baby sitter when 6 year old Kyle saw the baby sitter sit down in his daddy's seat. "You can't sit in Daddy's seat!" Kyle exclaimed. "Daddy's not home," the baby sitter replied, matter-of-factly. "Since I'm responsible for you while he's gone, I can sit here. Today I'm the boss." Justin, the 4 year old, quickly piped up, "If you're the boss, you have to sit over there in Mommy's chair!" ______________________________________________________ Harold the Computer Guy I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold, the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was an 'ID ten T' error." I didn't want to appear stupid, but I nonetheless inquired, "An ID ten T Error? What's that, in case I need to fix it again?" Harold grinned. "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?" "No," I replied. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out." So I wrote it down. I D 1 0 T I used to like Harold. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture: Click through for the big picture KansasS600 Fall ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Gabriel Harris, 33 New Smyrna Beach, Floriduh Floriduh drunk who expected service at a Taco Bell after 3 am, and then grabbed a cop. A drunken New Smyrna Beach bicyclist whose drive-through order at Taco Bell was rejected because he was too late and because he wasn't in a car, refused to leave the restaurant area and then tussled with police, according to an arrest report. Gabriel Harris, 33, was charged with resisting an officer with violence in the late-night incident and was out of the Volusia County Branch Jail on $1,000 bail, records show. According to the report, Taco Bell workers called police at 3:10 a.m. Sunday after Harris and a woman, both intoxicated, would not leave the restaurant area at 1860 State Road 44 in New Smyrna Beach. Police found Harris on a bicycle by the menu speaker, a report states. Aron Tobler, the employee, said he refused service to Harris and Sarah Haliburton because “they placed an order on bicycles” in the drive through window, the report states. Orders have to be placed at the menu speaker, not at the pick-up window, and before closing time. Haliburton was not charged. Police said Harris got to the restaurant after it closed at 3 a.m. As police were asking Harris to leave, they spotted a red Swiss Army knife on Harris' belt loop and tried to reach for it. Harris grabbed the officer's wrist and Harris was promptly wrestled to the ground and handcuffed. Harris suffered a scraped forehead from that, police said. Tech Support Pits From: Cherie Re: McAfee remover Dear Webby! Dear Webby, I hve noticed that on your website you have a link to get rid of Norton.... do you have one to get rid of Mcafee Security Center??? Cherie Dear Cherie Unlike Norton, McAfee can be cleanly UNinstalled from the Control Panel, Add/Remove Programs. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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>From Ben A few years ago I went to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed that enough Germans would speak English so that I could at least get around. But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket inspector on the train. He punched my ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. I just nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested. When he had gone, an American woman soldier in the compartment leaned forward and asked if I spoke German. "No," I confessed. "Then that explains," she said, "why you didn't bat an eyelid when he told you that you were on the wrong train, going in the wrong direction, and that there was no scheduled stop for another hour."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Litter Box Tending Easier Get 4 or 5 litter boxes of the same size. Fill each one with a few inches of litter, or however much you use. Stack one on top of another. My cat can jump into the top box. When it's time to change the litter just remove the top most box. I use inexpensive plastic "busing" tubs that I get from a webrestaurant supply store. They are 7 inches high, less than four dollars each and stack-able. If you put enough litter in each box and dispose of it before any moisture gets to the bottom of pan, you can just pour the used litter out and the bottom of the pan will be clean. I use wood stove pellets for litter. By jean99 [5] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ After the christening of his baby brother in church, little five-year-old Johnny sat in the back seat, unusually quite. Very softly he started to cry until his father noticed him sobbing. "What's wrong, little Johnny?" asked his father. Between sniffles little Johnny replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a good Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys instead!" ______________________________________________________ A teacher announced that to practice spelling, each member of the class would say what their father did for a living an then spell the occupation. A girl named Mary went first. "My dad is a baker, b-a-k-e-r, and if he were here, he would give each of us a cookie." Next came Tommy. "My dad is a banker,b-a-n-k-e-r, and if he were here, he'd give each of us a quarter." Third came Jimmy. "My dad is an electrician. But after struggling through a number of attempts to spell the word, the teacher asked him to sit and think about it for a moment while she called on someone else. She then turned to little Johnny. "My dad is a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e," Johnny said. "And if he were here, he'd lay you 8-to-5 that Jimmy ain't never gonna spell electrician!"


Amphibious Machines

Today in 
1765 Frederick County, MD, repudiated the British Stamp Act. 
1835 Henry Burden patented the horseshoe manufacturing 
 machine. 
1889 The first jukebox made its debut in San Francisco, 
 at the Palais Royale Saloon. 
1890 Princess Wilhelmina became Queen of the Netherlands 
 at the age of 10 when her father William III died. 
1943 During World War II, U.S. forces seized control of 
 Tarawa and Makin from the Japanese during the Central 
 Pacific offensive in the Gilbert Islands. 
1945 The U.S. wartime rationing of most foods ended. 
1948 Dr. Frank G. Back patented the "Zoomar" lens. 
1961 The Dominican Republic changed the name of its capital 
 from Ciudad Trujillo to Santo Domingo. 
1971 The People's Republic of China was seated in the United 
 Nations Security Council. 
1979 In Dublin, Ireland, Thomas McMahon was sentenced to life 
 imprisonment for the assassination of Earl Mountbatten. 
1980 In southern Italy, approximately 4,800 people were killed 
 in a series of earthquakes. 
1983 The first Pershing II missiles were deployed in West 
 Germany. In response, the U.S.S.R. broke off International 
 Nuclear Forces (INF) talks in Geneva. 
1985 Larry Wu-tai Chin, a retired CIA analyst, was arrested 
 and accused of spying for China. He committed suicide a 
 year after his conviction. 
1985 Gunmen hijacked an Egyptian jetliner en route from Athens 
 to Cairo. The plane was forced to land in Malta. 
1988 Wayne Gretzky scored his 600th National Hockey League 
 (NHL) goal. 
1989 Lucia Barrera de Cerna, a housekeeper who claimed she 
 had witnessed the slaying of six Jesuit priests and two 
 other people at the Jose Simeon Canas University in 
 El Salvador, was flown to the U.S. 
1994 About 111 people, mostly women and children, were 
 killed in a stampede after Indian police baton-charged 
 tribal protesters in the western city of Nagpur.
1998 Dennis Rodman filed for an annulment from Carmen 
 Electra. The two had been married on November 14, 1998. 
1998 The tobacco industry signed the biggest U.S. civil 
 settlement. It was a $206-billion deal to resolve 
 remaining state claims for treating sick smokers. 
1998 A U.S. federal judge rejected a Virginia county's 
 effort to block pornography on library computer calling 
 the attempt unconstitutional. 
2010 North Korea shelled Yeonpyeong Island. 
2014  smiled.


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Update Chrome 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, November 22

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
NJ woman fighting crosswalk ticket, 
saying she was scared of the padded duck.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in 
 a motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally 
 was also seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson 
 was inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people. --- Thomas Mann (1875 - 1955) The first marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. The second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. The third marriage is the triumph of stupidity. -- Lydia (on my 4th) ______________________________________________________ One October my wife and I spent a vacation on Washington's Olympic Peninsula. We were eager to visit the rain forests near the coast, but we heard that snow slides had made some of the roads impassable. Although apprehensive about the conditions we might run into, we drove on. Sure enough, we had gone only a short way up the High Rain Forest road when we saw a sign: "Ice 10 miles." Five miles farther on there was another: "Ice 5 miles." The next one was: "Ice 1/2 mile." We practically crept that half-mile. We came to the last sign. It was outside a small grocery, and it read: "Ice 75 cents." ______________________________________________________ >From Laura When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility between us. "So what changed your mind?" I asked him. "I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone who's 104?'" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture: Click through for the big picture Indiana Fall ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Karen Haigh River Edge, Fort Lee NJ Woman fighting crosswalk ticket, saying she was scared of the padded duck. Police in New Jersey used an undercover cop dressed in a Donald Duck costume to bust dozens of drivers for failing to yield to a pedestrian on Halloween. There are new traffic problems in Fort Lee — motorists who don’t yield to Donald Duck. Police in the New Jersey town used an undercover officer, dressed in a Donald Duck costume, to bust dozens of drivers for failing to yield to a pedestrian on Halloween. The costumed cop was hard to miss — the costume made the officers wearing it seem like they were 6-foot-4. Whenever Donald Duck stepped into a crosswalk and a motorist did not stop, uniformed cops pulled them over down the road and gave them a moving violation carrying a $230 fine, ABC News reported. Plus 2 points on their license. The cop was well padded in the high visibility duck costume to reduce injuries, when drivers did not stop, and was more than obvious enough, so that nobody could claim, they did not see him. One bimbo complained, that she was scared of the big duck! “They told me I was getting a ticket for not stopping for a duck,” motorist Karen Haigh told the TV station. “But it scared me. I’m a woman. This huge duck scared me.” Let's hope she will be charged with attempted murder! They need a cop dressed as a granny or grampa, and swinging a lead pipe to take out those expensive headlights, to mark the perps. Then painted fishlips won't have an excuse. Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Chrome Update Dear Webby! Dear Webby, Need you help once again. This morning McAfee advised of updates and one of those was for Chrome. The Chrome update needed to be accomplished directly from Chrome. I've attempted to download but once it shows the completion of the download it goes to the page screen printed below and I do not know what to do next. Chrome's site is not much help. Hence, I defer to you. Frank Dear Frank I use the "Downloads Button" from http://singleclickapps.com/downloads-app/ It shows in the left lower corner what has been downloaded. So I hit that and get the request to RUN the update. Without that button, you have to find where the update got saved to. In my case, that is in E:\Tools\Chrome but only you know where you saved it to on your machine. If you can't find it easily, just download it again, and this time park it in an easy to find spot. You might want to start some organization, like I do with E:\Tools\Chrome E:\Tools\FireFox E:\Tools\McAfee E:\Tools\RoboForm etc., and always save stuff where it belongs. Makes life a lot easier than having to search for it. You CAN search for "ChromeSetup.exe" or "ChromeSetup", and double-click that, when you find it. That will work too. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
Wilbur got a job on the railways as a steward. For the first day he accompanied another steward to learn the ropes. "It's very simple," said his tutor, "Just use diplomacy." "What's diplomacy?" asked Wilbur. "Watch me I'll show you". Off they went down the train corridor, rattling compartment doors, opening them with special keys and offering tea or coffee. When the tutor steward flung open one door he was confronted with a buck naked woman. Without batting an eyelid he asked "Tea or coffee, sir?" The surprised woman took the cup of tea and he shut the door. "Wow, did you see that cutie!" Wilbur said excitedly. "She had no clothes on. But hey, why did you call her sir?" "That's diplomacy! I did not want to embarrass her". Wilbur was most impressed with his teacher. The next day, on his own now, he flung open a door to a compartment and found a couple making love on the bed. "Tea or coffee, sir?" "Tea" the man replied. "And for your brother?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Your Own Funnel Need a funnel in a pinch? Cut off the bottom of a 2 liter or 1/2 liter bottle. This works great, and only costs 10 cents (which is the deposit price in Michigan). You can make it as tall or short as you want. By melmarr from Michigan Gallon jugs with the nice and convenient handle work very well too, especially for making a funnel to top off the motor oil or windshield washer fluid. Put the funnel, that you use for motor oil, into an empty shopping bag, so that it does not attract dust. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for ths story: The parents in our cycling group were discussing the subject of teenagers and their appetites. Most agreed that teenagers would eat anything, anywhere and at any time. Some were concerned that such appetites always made it hard to judge when you should feed them because they were always grazing. A veteran parent of six children told us of his method for judging the true hunger of teenagers. "I would hold up a piece of cold, cooked broccoli, and if they were jumping and snapping at it, I figured they were hungry enough to be fed." ______________________________________________________ Co-workers sympathized as Ellie complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture. "Why don't you wait till your husband gets home?" someone asked. "I could," Ellie told the group," but the couch is easier to move when he's not on it."


Amphibious Machines

Today in 
1699 A treaty was signed by Denmark, Russia, Saxony and Poland 
 for the partitioning of the Swedish Empire. 
1718 English pirate Edward Teach (a.k.a. "Blackbeard") was 
 killed during a battle off the coast of North Carolina. 
 British soldiers cornered him aboard his ship and killed 
 him. He was shot and stabbed more than 25 times. 
1899 The Marconi Wireless Company of America was incorporated 
 in New Jersey. 
1910 Arthur F. Knight patented a steel shaft to replace wood 
 shafts in golf clubs. 
1928 In Paris, "Bolero" by Maurice Ravel was first performed 
 publicly. 
1935 The first trans-Pacific airmail flight began in Alameda, 
 CA, when the flying boat known as the China Clipper left for 
 Manila. The craft was carrying over 110,000 pieces of mail. 
1942 During World War II, the Battle of Stalingrad began. 
1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime Minister 
 Winston Churchill and Chinese leader Chiang Kai-shek met in 
 Cairo to discuss the measures for defeating Japan. 
1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in 
 a motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally 
 was also seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson 
 was inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President. 
1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon lifted a ban on American 
 travel to Cuba. The ban had been put in place on February 8, 1963. 
1975 Juan Carlos I was proclaimed King of Spain upon the death of 
 Gen. Francisco Franco. 
1975 "Dr. Zhivago" appeared on TV for the first time. NBC paid 
 $4 million for the broadcast rights. 
1977 Regular passenger service on the Concorde began between 
 New York and Europe. 
1983 The Bundestag approved NATO's plan to deploy new U.S. 
 nuclear missiles in West Germany. 
1985 38,648 immigrants became citizens of the United States. 
 It was the largest swearing-in ceremony. 
1986 An Iranian surface-to-surface missile hit a residential 
 area in the Iraqi capital of Baghdad, wounding 20 civilians. 
1986 Mike Tyson became the youngest to wear the world 
 heavyweight-boxing crown. He was only 20 years and 4 months old. 
1989 Rene Moawad, the president of Lebanon, was assassinated less 
 than three weeks after taking office by a bomb that exploded 
 next to his motorcade in West Beirut. 
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush and his wife, Barbara
 shared Thanksgiving dinner with U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia. 
1993 Mexico's Senate overwhelmingly approved the North American 
 Free Trade Agreement. 
1994 Inside the District of Columbia's police headquarters a 
 gunman opened fire. Two FBI agents, a city detective and 
 the gunman were killed in the gun battle. 
1994 In northwest Bosnia, Serb fighters set villages on fire 
 in response to a retaliatory air strikes by NATO. 
1998 CBS's "60 Minutes" aired a tape of Jack Kevorkian giving 
 lethal drugs in an assisted suicide of a terminally ill patient. 
 Kevorkian was later sentenced to 25 years in prison for 
 second-degree murder. 
2005 Angela Merkel was elected as Germany's first female chancellor. 
2013 The discovery of Siats meekerorum was announced. The dinosaur 
 skeleton, more than 30 feet long, was found in eastern Utah. 
2014  smiled.


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Pictures not showing in Gmail 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 21
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Woman charged with child abuse 
after mixing in at a girl fight
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1980 An estimated 83 million viewers tuned in to find out 
 "who shot J.R." on the CBS prime-time soap opera Dallas. 
 Kristin was the character that fired the gun.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ A visitor to a college campus paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall. "It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway." "Actually," said the guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation." "Oh? Was Joshua Hemingway a writer also?" "Yes, indeed. He wrote a check." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dianne for this story: Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet. Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dawn for sending this picture: Click through for the big picture Sawtooth Mountains, Idaho ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Patria Delois Holman, 39, Fort Walton Beach, Floriduh Woman charged with child abuse after mixing in at a girl fight FORT WALTON BEACH - A 39-year-old Fort Walton Beach woman is charged with participating in a fight between teenage girls in front of a drug store. Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputies were called for a large crowd of juveniles fighting in the parking lot of CVS, according to the arrest report. One of the participants said she and her cousins were at McDonalds when another woman and her daughters pulled up at CVS. An argument started in the parking lot, after which a fight broke out, the report said. One of the youths said she heard Patria Delois Holman screaming, “send her to the hospital,” encouraging one of the girls to continue striking another. While one of the girls was “on the ground,” Holman “kicked (the victim) in the face and in the stomach,” according to the report. A witness reported seeing Holman kick the girl and yell encouragement at another girl. Holman said she went to the Beal Parkway pharmacy to pick up medicine when a group of girls began taunting a relative, the report said. Holman told deputies that she was just “a mother” who didn’t want to see a child hurt and that the “situation is terrible.” She denied striking anyone, according to the report. The girl had injuries to her face, arm and leg. Holman is charged with child abuse without great bodily harm and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Her next scheduled court date is Dec. 16. Most courts frown upon anyone mixing into a fight in progress and participating. It will be interesting to see what the results will be. Tech Support Pits From: Patti Re: No pictures in gmail Dear Webby! Dear Webby, I just switched from corecomm webmail to Gmail. Only problem, the graphics don't come through.Only the semaphone flag as shown above. having fun, Patti Dear Patti The pictures DO come through, it's just that you have them turned off in the quickie-preview. The Web page on-line Quickie preview in gmail is just that, a preview, to sneak a peek at your mail at the cyber cafe at lunch or while away from your main machine. Once back at work or at home, wherever your main machine is, you haul your mail down with Eudora, Thunderbird, Outlook, whatever. To speed things up at the cybercafe, the sneak preview has the pictures turned off by default. You CAN turn them on easily enough after a bit of hunting around in the options. They change the ways for turning the pictures on quite often, but usually you can get at that by right-clicking the icon for the hidden pictures. Gmail is an excellent program, and it is great at what it does, but it is not intended to be the final sorting and filing program. Eudora, Thunderbird, Outlook, whatever, do that. If you don't bother sorting mail into different boxes and just want to use Gmail as your one and only mail program, spend half an hour customizing it to your liking, and turn the pictures on at the same time. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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On the first day of school, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How is that gonna help?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Double Up Flat Pillows Pillows, we all know, are costly but here is a tip to to stretch dollars for those buying new pillows. What I do when they go flat is to put two flat pillows in my pillow shams to have a nice plump sham. I even will use two in regular pillow covers for a nice big pillow, made out of two tired old flat ones. By Leigh H. [1] You can plump up flat pillows by putting a squirt of hair conditioner into the final rinse when washing them. Then dry them with a tennis ball in the dryer, or on the line, when the moon goes over high up, not near the horizon. It makes no difference how much of the moon you see, just where it goes over, high or low. That makes a huge difference with feather pillows, but is quite noticeable too with shredded foam pillows. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ >From Robert A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at least 30mph for it to start. She said "fine!" hopped into her car and drove off. I sat there fuming wondering what she could be doing. A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mirror coming at me at about 40 mph, I suddenly realized that I should have been a bit clearer with my directions... ______________________________________________________ It has been proven that Adam was a Mennonite. Only a Mennonite man could stand in front of a naked woman and be tempted by an apple.


Pictures of different types of eggs

Today in 
1620 The Mayflower reached Provincetown, MA. The ship 
 discharged the Pilgrims at Plymouth, MA, on Dec 26, 1620. 
1783 The first successful flight was made in a hot air balloon. 
 The pilots, Francois Pilatre de Rosier and Francois Laurent, 
 Marquis d'Arlandes, flew for 25 minutes and 5˝ miles over Paris. 
1871 M.F. Galethe patented the cigar lighter. 
1877 Thomas A. Edison announced the invention of his phonograph.
1929 Spanish surrealist Salvador Dali had his first art exhibit. 
1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened. 
1953 British Natural History Museum authorities announced that 
 "Piltdown Man" was a hoax. 
1962 U.S. President Kennedy terminated the quarantine measures 
 against Cuba. 
1979 The U.S. Embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan, was attacked by 
 a mob that set the building afire and killed two Americans. 
1980 An estimated 83 million viewers tuned in to find out 
 "who shot J.R." on the CBS prime-time soap opera Dallas. 
 Kristin was the character that fired the gun.
1980 87 people died in a fire at the MGM Grand Hotel-Casino 
 in Las Vegas, NV. 
1985 Former U.S. Navy intelligence analyst Jonathan Jay 
 Pollard was arrested after being accused of spying for Israel. 
 He was later sentenced to life in prison. 
1987 An eight-day siege began at a detention center in Oakdale, 
 LA, as Cuban detainees seized the facility and took hostages. 
1989 The proceedings of Britain's House of Commons were 
 televised live for the first time. 
1992 U.S. Senator Bob Packwood, issued an apology but refused 
 to discuss allegations that he'd made unwelcome sexual 
 advances toward 10 women in past years. 
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives voted against making the 
 District of Columbia the 51st state. 
1994 NATO warplanes bombed an air base in Serb-held Croatia 
 that was being used by Serb planes to raid the Bosnian 
 "safe area" of Bihac. 
1995 France detonated its fourth underground nuclear blast 
 at a test site in the South Pacific. 
1999 China announced that it had test-launched an unmanned 
 space capsule that was designed for manned spaceflight. 
2000 The Florida Supreme Court granted Al Gore's request to 
 keep the presidential recounts going. 
2001 Microsoft Corp. proposed giving $1 billion in computers, 
 software, training and cash to more than 12,500 of the 
 poorest schools in the U.S. The offer was intended as part 
 of a deal to settle most of the company's private antitrust 
 lawsuits. 
2002 NATO invited Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, Bulgaria, Romania, 
Slovakia and Slovenia to become members. 
2014  smiled.


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Nazis in Germany tricked 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 20

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Nazis in Germany, that were 
tricked into marching and fund raising for Anti-Nazis.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1995 Princess Diana admitted being unfaithful to Prince 
 Charles in an interview that was broadcast on BBC. Since
 Princess Diana was the darling of British media, Charles 
 was blamed for that.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much. --- Donald H. Rumsfeld (1932 - ) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Connie for this story: My uncle Joe and his best buddy, Bubba, went hunting a couple of weeks ago. Somehow they got lost. Uncle Joe reassured his buddy, though. "Don't worry. All we have to do is shoot into the air three times, stay where we are, and someone will find us." They shot in the air three times, but no one came. After a while, they tried it again. Still no response. When they decided to try once more, Bubba said, "It better work this time. We're down to our last three arrows." ______________________________________________________ A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. "What is it made of?" she asked. "Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied. "I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us." "Yes, they do, brave oyster wrestler!" ______________________________________________________ GROAN ALERT One day in the forest, three animals were discussing who among them was the most powerful. "I am," said the hawk, "because I can fly and swoop down swiftly at my prey." "That's nothing," said the mountain lion, "I am not only fleet, but I have powerful teeth and claws." "I am the most powerful," said the skunk, "because with a flick of my tail, I can drive off the two of you." Just then a huge grizzly bear lumbered out of the forest and settled the debate by eating them all. . . . hawk, lion, and stinker. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for sending this picture: Click through for the big picture Japanese Maple ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to NeoNazis in Germany Neo-Nazis tricked into marching and Fundraising for Anti-Nazis Neo-Nazis were tricked into raising money for an Anti-Nazi charity through their annual march in a small town in Germany. Neo-Nazis were tricked into raising money for an anti-Nazi charity through their annual march in a small town in Germany. Supporters of Hitler's Third Reich march through Wunsiedel - the burial site of Rudolf Hess - every November to mark National Heroes' Remembrance Day. But this year, campaign group Right against Right convinced residents to donate 10 euro to a charity that helps people leave extremist groups for each metre the neo-Nazis marched. Villagers even put up motivational signs along the route, and showered the neo-Nazis with confetti when they finished. And they set up a stall providing snacks for the walkers under the banner 'Mein Mampf' - which translates as 'My Fight'. "It was an absolute success," Inge Schuster, spokesman for the mayor of Wunsiedel, told The Local online newspaper. "It created something positive out of the march, including the 10,000 euro donation for EXIT-Deutschland." A Right Against Right spokesman said residents were sick of the sight of Neo-Nazis walking through their community each year. "We could not stop them - but we could make them walk for something meaningful: and that is how for the first time a right-wing memorial march became a charity walk - without the participants knowing," he said. The Neo-Nazis, who fight against illegal Muslim immigrants, thought "Exit Deutschland" was about getting illegal Muslim immigrants out, not getting nazis out. "For every metre they walked, 10 euros went to EXIT-Deutschland - a Nazi opt-out programme. The result: 10,000 euros and lots of surprised right-wing extremists." Details and pictures Tech Support Pits From: -- Re: No question Dear Webby! Dear webby , no question -- Dear -- No answer Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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>From Bonnie It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office. He told the florist to write "Happy Anniversary, Year Number 2" on the card. I was thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased with the card. It read "Happy Anniversary. You're Number 2."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Household Cleaner This is the best all-purpose household cleaner I know of. I make a batch and put it in an old spray bottle that once held a commercial cleaner. I keep the extra in an old gallon sized vinegar bottle. Ingredients 1 gallon water 1 cup ammonia (not the sudsy kind) 1 cup white vinegar 1 cup washing soda Directions Mix the ingredients until dissolved. You may want to test it on painted surfaces before using. I've never had it fade any paint, but you never know. By Copasetic 1 from North Royalton, OH ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Jill complained to Nina, "Rosey told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her." "Well," replied Nina in a hurt tone", I told her not to tell you I told her." "Oh dear!" sighed Jill. "Well, don't tell her I told you that she told me". ______________________________________________________ We had just finished eating a beautiful dinner that my mother had prepared for our family. As I glanced up at the chandelier over the table, I was mesmerized by the creative handiwork a spider had woven around the prisms and lightbulbs. "Don't look up there!" my mother screamed. "It's the one thing I was too tired to clean!" "Don't look where?" my brother asked. "There!" my mother pointed. "It's my own personal web sight!"


FoxTail Lily

Today in 
1818 Simon Bolivar formally declared Venezuela independent 
 of Spain. 
1873 Budapest was formed when the rival cities of Buda and 
 Pest were united to form the capital of Hungary. 
1901 The second Hay-Pauncefoot Treaty provided for 
 construction of the Panama Canal by the U.S. 
1910 Francisco I. Madero led a revolution that broke out 
 in Mexico. 
1929 The radio program "The Rise of the Goldbergs," later 
 known as "The Goldbergs," made its debut on the NBC Blue 
 Network. 
1943 During World War II, U.S. Marines began their landing 
 on Tarawa and Makin atolls in the Gilbert Islands. 
1945 24 Nazi leaders went before an international war 
 crimes tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany. 
1947 Britain's Princess Elizabeth married Philip Mountbatten, 
 Duke of Edinburgh in Westminster Abbey. 
1959 Britain, Norway, Portugal, Switzerland, Austria, Denmark 
 and Sweden met to create the European Free Trade Association. 
1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis ended. The Soviet Union removed 
 its missiles and bombers from Cuba and the U.S. ended its 
 blockade of the island. 
1967 The Census Clock at the Department of Commerce in 
 Washington, DC, went past 200 million. 
1969 The Nixon administration announced a halt to residential 
 use of the pesticide DDT as part of a total phase out of the 
 substance. 
1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab 
 leader to address Israel's parliament. 
1987 Police investigating the fire at King's Cross, London's 
 busiest subway station, said that arson was unlikely to be 
 the cause of the event that took 31 lives. 
1988 Egypt and China announced that they would recognize the 
 Palestinian state proclaimed by the Palestine National Council. 
1989 Over 200,000 people rallied peacefully in Prague, 
 Czechoslovakia, demanding democratic reforms. 
1990 Saddam Hussein ordered another 250,000 Iraqi troops 
 into the country of Kuwait. 
1992 A fire seriously damaged the northwest side of Windsor 
 Castle in England. 
1993 The U.S. Senate passed the Brady Bill and legislation 
 implementing NAFTA. 
1994 The Angolan government and rebels signed a treaty in 
 Zambia to end 19 years of war. 
1995 Princess Diana admitted being unfaithful to Prince 
 Charles in an interview that was broadcast on BBC. Since
 Princess Diana was the darling of british media, Charles 
 was blamed for that.
1998 Afghanistan's Taliban militia offered Osama bin Laden 
 safe haven. Osama bin Laden had been accused of 
 orchestrating two U.S. embassy bombings in Africa and later 
 terrorist attacks on New York City and the Pentagon. 
1998 Forty-six states agreed to a $206 billion settlement of 
 health claims against the tobacco industry. The industry 
 also agreed to give up billboard advertising of cigarettes. 
2001 The U.S. Justice Department headquarters building was 
 renamed the Robert F. Kennedy building by President 
 George W. Bush. The event was held on what would have been 
 Kennedy's 76th birthday.
2014  smiled.


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Problem with mail from Yahoo groups 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 19


Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida dope for backing into opposing taffic and 
almost ramming a deputy.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service 
 on the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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Television has raised writing to a new low. --- Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974) Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. --- H. L. Mencken ______________________________________________________ Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while stuck behind bars. On the bus, one convict turned to another and said, "So, what did you bring?" The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the "Grandma Moses of Jail". Then he asked the first, "What did you bring?" The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, "I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire and gin, and any number of games." The third convict was sitting quietly aside grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, "Why are you so smug? What did you bring?" The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. "I brought these." The other two were puzzled and asked - "What can you do with those?" He grinned and pointed to the box and said, "Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating..." ______________________________________________________ **Diary Of A Regular Joe** For my birthday this year my wife purchased me a week of private lessons at the local health club. Though still in great shape from when I was on the varsity chess team in high school, I decided it was a good idea to go ahead and try it. I called and made reservations with someone named Tanya, who said she is a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and athletic clothing model. My wife seemed very pleased with how enthusiastic I was to get started. They suggested I keep an "exercise diary" to chart my progress: Day 1. Started the morning at 6:00 AM. Tough to get up, but worth it when I arrived at the health club and Tanya was waiting for me. She's something of a goddess, with blond hair and a dazzling white smile. She showed me the machines and took my pulse after five minutes on the treadmill. She seemed a little alarmed that it was so high, but I think just standing next to her in that outfit of hers added about ten points. Enjoyed watching the aerobics class. Tanya was very encouraging as I did my sit ups, though my gut was already aching a little from holding it in the whole time I was talking to her. This is going to be GREAT! Day 2. Took a whole pot of coffee to get me out the door, but I made it. Tanya had me lie on my back and push this heavy iron bar up into the air. Then, she put weights on it, for heaven's sake! Legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I made it the full mile. Her smile made it all worth while. Muscles ALL feel GREAT. Day 3. The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying the tooth brush on the counter and moving my mouth back and forth over it. I am certain that I have developed a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as long as I didn't try to steer. I parked on top of a Volkswagen. Tanya was a little impatient with me and said my screaming was bothering the other club members. The treadmill hurt my chest so I did the stair monster. Why would anyone invent a machine to simulate an activity rendered obsolete by the invention of elevators? Tanya told me regular exercise would make me live longer. I can't imagine anything worse. Day 4. Tanya was waiting for me with her vampire teeth in a full snarl. I can't help it if I was half an hour late, it took me that long just to tie my shoes. She wanted me to lift dumbbells. Not a chance, Tanya. The word "dumb" must be in there for a reason. I hid in the men's room until she sent Lars looking for me. As punishment she made me try the rowing machine... It sank. Day 5. I hate Tanya more than any human being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world. If there was any part of my body not in extreme pain I would hit her with it. She thought it would be a good idea to work on my triceps. Well I have news for you Tanya - I don't HAVE triceps. And if you don't want dents in the floor don't hand me any barbells. I refuse to accept responsibility for the damage. YOU went to sadist school, YOU are to blame. The treadmill flung me back into a science teacher, which hurt like crazy. Why couldn't it have been someone softer, like a music teacher, or social studies? Day 6. Got Tanya's message on my answering machine, wondering where I am. I lacked the strength to use the TV remote so I watched eleven straight hours of the weather channel. Day 7. Well, that's the week. Thank goodness that's over. Maybe next time my wife will give me something a little more fun, like a gift certificate for a root canal. ______________________________________________________ A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." And why not?" "You know that it always gives you a headache next morning." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for this picture: Click through for the big picture Gapstow Bridge, New York, USA ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kyndric Wilson, 23, Mary Esther, Floriduh Driver nearly collided with deputy; jailed on drug charges A 23-year-old Mary Esther man was arrested on drug charges after allegedly backing up against traffic, nearly colliding with a deputy. The Okaloosa County Sheriff’s deputy was doing traffic enforcement on Hickory Street in Niceville on Nov. 8, according to the arrest report. He saw a vehicle driven by Kyndric Dallas Wilson backing up “in the opposite direction of traffic onto Range Road,” requiring the deputy to brake to prevent a collision. The deputy pulled Wilson over, and smelled marijuana coming from inside the vehicle, the report said. When asked about the marijuana, Wilson pulled out a small bud from the door and a glass jar with 23.5 grams of marijuana from the back seat. Wilson was arrested and a search found five rocks of crack cocaine in the vehicle, according to the report. He is charged with possession of cocaine and possession of more than 20 grams of marijuana. His next scheduled court date is Dec. 16. Tech Support Pits From: Richb70 Re: Yahoo malfunction Dear Webby! Dear webby , not to be a bother but I'm having trouble receiving my emails from other groups, I looked thru my yahoo addy and it says my account has been suspended? And I don't know why or how, I've talked to comcast about it and they said I needed to reset my pw but that doesn't seem to work and I have no idea what to do, any ideas or thots you can give? I would appreciated it. Even tho I reset my pw its still telling me that my acct is still suspened , this is the first time this has ever happened and I don't know what or why its doing it.. Tyvm I still receive reg emails not group emails, I find it kind or weird that this is just started happening Richb Dear Richb70 That is normal and to be expected from Yahoo. They do that to all the yahoos every now and then, for no apparent reason. Just routine Yahoo malfunction. You can try screeching a temper tantrum at Yahoo support, sometimes that helps. I am a member of the "Freecycle" group, a clean and well behaved group with a very low volume of mail, but half the time it does not work either. Since the group organizers refuse to move away from Yahoo, there is nothing anybody can do about it. Except laugh at the thilly yahoos. Have FUN! DearWebby
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>From Edsel Discovering that I'd overslept, I abandoned my usual morning routine and rushed out. In the van, though, I realized I had time to stop for a take-out coffee. I got my coffee and returned to the van, only to find I had not only left it running but had locked it! The day was going from bad to worse. I returned to the shop, sheepishly explained my situation to the clerk and asked if I could borrow a broom. I managed to open a side window and pop the lock on the back door using the broom handle. When I returned the broom, the clerk said, "I know you're having a bad day, but..." "I know, I know," I interrupted. "You want to know how I can unlock my van with a broom." "No," she said. "I wanted to tell you that your shirt is on inside out."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remedies for Athlete's Foot To treat fungus on feet, soak feet in white vinegar for at least 20 minutes each time. Continue three days in a row and the fungus should be done. By duckie-do from Cortez, CORemedies for Athlete's Foot Rubbing the feet, especially between toes and on toenails with freshly cut potato pieces 2 - 3 times a day is also said to be effective, if you don't have any vinegar in the house. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ >From Barb I know my company has made a big effort to be family friendly, but I was baffled when I read this holiday an- nouncement posted on the bulletin board: "All employees are invited to the annual Christmas party. All children under the age of ten will receive a gift from Santa. Employees who have no children may bring grandchildren." ______________________________________________________ Jimmie, an 80-year-old gentleman, retired to Florida after his wife of 58 years had passed away. He was quite alone in the world and longed for companionship. One day, as he was walking through a public park, he spied what he considered to be a very pretty silver-haired lady sitting alone on a park bench. Getting his nerve up, he approached the lady and asked graciously, "Pardon me, ma'am, but may I sit here with you." The silver-haired Marcia looked up to see a distinguished looking white-haired gentleman and replied, "Why certainly," and scooted over gently to give him room to sit down. For the next two hours the two sat and talked about everything. They discovered that they came from the same part of the country, liked the same big band music, voted for the same presidential candidates, had long happy marriages and lost their spouses in the last year, and in general agreed about almost everything. Finally, the old gentleman cleared his throat and asked sheepishly, "Ma' am, may I ask you two questions?" With great anticipation Marcia replied, "Why certainly!" The old gentleman removed a handkerchief from his coat pocket and spread it out on the ground before her. He very gingerly got down on one knee and looked her softly in the eyes. "Marcia, I know we've only known each other for a couple of hours, but we have so much in common. I feel I have known you all my life. Will you marry me and be my wife?" Marcia grabbed at Jimmie's hands and said, "Why, yes, I will marry you! You have made me so very happy!" She reached over and kissed him gently on the cheek. Then Marcia said, "You said you had two questions to ask me. What is the second question?" Jimmie scratched his neck and said, "Will you help me get up?"


FoxTail Lily

Today in 
1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It 
 resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War. 
1850 The first life insurance policy for a woman was issued. 
 Carolyn Ingraham, 36 years old, bought the policy in 
 Madison, NJ. 
1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address 
 as he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the Civil 
 War battlefield in Pennsylvania. 
1893 The first newspaper color supplement was published in 
 the Sunday New York World. 
1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E. 
 Blaisdell. 
1919 The U.S. Senate rejected the Treaty of Versailles with 
 a vote of 55 in favor to 39 against. A two-thirds majority 
 was needed for ratification. 
1928 "Time" magazine presented its cover in color for the 
 first time. The subject was Japanese Emperor Hirohito. 
1942 During World War II, Russian forces launched their 
 winter offensive against the Germans along the Don front. 
1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service 
 on the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey. 
1959 Ford Motor Co. announced it was ending the production 
 of the unpopular Edsel. 
1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles Conrad and Alan Bean made 
 man's second landing on the moon. 
1970 Hafiz al-Assad seized power in Syria. 
1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab 
 leader to set foot in Israel on an official visit. 
1981 U.S. Steel agreed to pay $6.3 million for Marathon Oil. 
1990 NATO and the Warsaw Pact signed a treaty of nonaggression
1994 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to bomb rebel 
 Serb forces striking from neighboring Croatia. 
1997 In Carlisle, IA, septuplets were born to Bobbi McCaughey. 
 It was only the second known case where all seven were born 
 alive. 
1998 The impeachment inquiry of U.S. President Clinton began. 
1998 Vincent van Gogh's "Portrait of the Artist Without Beard" 
 sold at auction for more than $71 million. 
2002 The oil tanker Prestige broke into two pieces and sank 
 off northwest Spain. The tanker lost about 2 million gallons 
 of fuel oil when it ruptured November 13th and was towed 
 about 150 miles out to sea. 
2002 The U.S. government completed its takeover of security 
 at 424 airports nationwide. 
2014  smiled.


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Static remedy 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, November 18


Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Balloon-wielding man busted after rampage 
at Fort Pierce auto dealer
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the 
 Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in England. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves. --- Robert Anton Wilson ______________________________________________________ An older lady was expecting a gentleman friend to call on her later in the day. She was nervous because her eyesight was failing and was afraid her friend might reject her because she was less than perfect. So, she came up with a plan to prove to him that she could see perfectly. She put a straight pin in a tree that was about 200 feet from her front porch. When her beau arrived, they sat in the porch swing and were talking when she suddenly stopped the conversation and asked, "Is that a pin sticking in that tree?" Her friend squinted his eyes and said, "I don't see a thing." "Well, I'm going to go see," she said as she jumped up, ran toward the tree, and collided with a cow. ______________________________________________________ When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. "Is that your grandmother?" I asked. "Yes," Chris said. "She's come to visit us for Christmas." "How nice," I said. "Where does she live?" "At the airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her, we just go out there and get her." ______________________________________________________ Marge was telling her friend Grace how she gets her son out of bed in the morning. "I just open his door and toss the cat on his bed. He sleeps with his dog." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for this picture: Click through for the big picture Tearoom in Llanrwst, North Wales ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to James Touchstone, 48, Fort Pierce, Florida Balloon-wielding man busted after rampage at Fort Pierce auto dealer A man accused of running around a car dealership with balloons after downing a bottle of booze and possibly chasing people with a machete was arrested, according to statements in a recently released arrest affidavit. The case against James Touchstone, 48, began about 5:45 p.m. as a St. Lucie County Sheriff’s deputy went to the listed address of a Kia dealership on South U.S. 1 to help with an impaired driver, the affidavit states. The deputy spotted a Kia Sorrento with a damaged fender in the parking lot. The doors were open and an empty bottle of Seagram’s gin was on the floorboard. Touchstone, who smelled of booze, was in custody outside another deputy’s vehicle “yelling profanities and attempting to flee,” the affidavit states. Touchstone yelled that he’d imbibed “a bottle of alcohol but has been off crack for three years,” the affidavit states. Meanwhile, witnesses said Touchstone pulled in the parking lot and started cursing and throwing things at customers and staff members. “He then ran across the street to (another) dealership, grabbed some balloons, returned and started to run around the parking lot with the balloons in hand while yelling at anyone he came in contact with,” the affidavit states. After Touchstone, listed as a “violent felony offender of special concern,” was put in the back of a patrol car, he kicked out the rear passenger window. A passenger in Touchstone’s vehicle told investigators that Touchstone hit a light pole in a parking lot in the area of Avenue M and North 13th Street. That person also said Touchstone got a machete and chased people at a gas station. Touchstone, of Wilton Manors, was arrested on charges including criminal mischief, DUI, driving while license suspended, habitual offender and resist officer without much violence. Tech Support Pits From: Dianne Re: Get rid of static Dear Webby! DearWebby tell ur readers that if they ad a table spoon to their water bucker or whatever they use to mop floors, to ad some liquid fabric softner to prevent shocks. Dianne Dear Dianne That is an easy enough remedy and well worth trying, if somebody gets shocks. Have FUN! DearWebby
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The physics professor, checking to see how many people had actually read the assignment, asked "What are the two types of light?" The lab fell quiet until a small voice came from the back of the room, "Uhhh, Bud and Coors?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Use Scrubbing Bubbles for Hard Water Spots My husband read so many solutions on removing hard water spots on windows, but nothing ever worked for him. The windshield on our motor home was so stained from the water that would run down it, that we tried everything on the market just like so many others. We bought so many products from acid wash, scrub with SOS, to Comet. I always use Scrubbing Bubbles for everything in my house. I told my husband for so long to try Scrubbing Bubbles but he always told me, "No that isn't going to work", until one day when he was frantic, he did try Scrubbing Bubbles along with extra fine steel wool. He couldn't believe his eyes. The glass is crystal clear and just like new. Now he won't use anything else just like I won't use any other product except for Scrubbing Bubbles inside. So every one who is at their worst with hard water spots please use this product. It really does work. I know this sounds like a infomercial, just try for yourself. Scrubbing Bubbles Fan! By Peewee the Cat and Family from San Bernardino ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ A man was in his usual place, sitting at the table, reading the newspaper during breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player, who was known primarily for his lack of brains and common sense. He turned to his wife with a look of bewilderment on his face and said, "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives" His wife said, "Why, thank you, dear!" ______________________________________________________ After the holidays and all those delightful, seasonal treats, a husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tells your fortune and weight. He dropped in a coin and eagerly read the results. "Listen to this," he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. "It says I'm energetic, bright, resourceful and an absolutely fantastic lover." "Yeah," his wife nodded, "and it has your weight wrong, too. Looks like you picked up the card from the previous user."


Whitewater Adrenaline Rush: Extreme Kayaking

Today in 
1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the 
 Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in England. 
1820 Captain Nathaniel Palmer became the first American to sight 
 the continent of Antarctica. 
1865 Samuel L. Clemens published "The Celebrated Jumping Frog 
 of Calaveras County" under the pen name "Mark Twain" in the 
 New York "Saturday Press." 
1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time zones. 
1903 The U.S. and Panama signed a treaty that granted the U.S. 
 rights to build the Panama Canal. 
1916 Douglas Haig, commander of the British Expeditionary Force 
 in World War I, called off the Battle of the Somme in France. 
 The offensive began on July 1, 1916. 
1928 The first successful sound-synchronized animated cartoon 
 premiered in New York. It was Walt Disney's "Steamboat Willie," 
 starring Mickey Mouse. 
1936 Germany and Italy recognized the Spanish government of 
 Francisco Franco. 
1966 U.S. Roman Catholic bishops did away with the rule against 
 eating meat on Fridays. 
1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles "Pete" Conrad Jr. and 
 Alan L. Bean landed on the lunar surface during the second 
 manned mission to the moon. 
1976 The parliament of Spain approved a bill that established 
 a democracy after 37 years of dictatorship. 
1983 Argentina announced its ability to produce enriched uranium 
 for use in nuclear weapons. 
1987 CBS Inc. announced it had agreed to sell its record 
 division to Sony Corp. for about $2 billion. 
1988 U.S. President Reagan signed major legislation provided 
 the death penalty for drug traffickers who kill. 
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives joined the U.S. Senate 
 in approving legislation aimed at protecting abortion 
 facilities, staff and patients. 
1993 Representatives from 21 South African political parties 
 approved a new constitution. 
1997 First Union Corp. announced its purchase of CoreStates 
 Financial Corp. for $16.1 billion.
2014  smiled.


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Keyboard in the dishwasher 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Nonday, November 17


Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Robber pretends to be 
witness after pizza heist
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1968 NBC cut away from the final minutes of a New York Jets-
 Oakland Raiders game to begin a TV special, "Heidi," on schedule. 
 The Raiders came from behind to beat the Jets 43-32. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own. --- Doug Larson You get fifteen democrats in a room, and you get twenty opinions. --- Senator Patrick Leahy ______________________________________________________ Elementary Science Some of these are too good to ignore. *Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers. *We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on. *Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do up there. *Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does. *Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail. *In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes. *A blizzard is when it snows sideways. *A monsoon is a French gentleman. *Thunder is a rich source of loudness. *It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places. *The wind is like the air, only pushier. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: The woman applying for the job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too qualified for the job. "Look miss," said the foreman. "Do you have any experience in picking lemons?" "Well, as a matter if fact, yes!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Vicky for this story: A young Jewish mom walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day of kindergarten. "Behave, my bubaleh" she says. "Take good care of yourself and think about your Mother, tataleh!" "And come right back home on the bus, schein kindaleh." "Mommy loves you a lot, my ketsaleh!" At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs to her son on and hugs him. "So tell mommy. . . what did my pupaleh learn on his first day of school?" The boy answers, "I've learned that my name is Melvin." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for this picture: Click through for the big picture Rosy Maple Moth ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Joseph Wantz 26 West Boca, Floriduh Robber pretends to be witness after pizza heist Pizza delivery man robbed at gunpoint in West Boca West Boca man accused of robbing a pizza delivery man tried to come forward as a witness and accused his cousin of being the robber, according to a Palm Beach County sheriff's arrest report. Joseph Wantz, 26, faces charges of robbery and aggravated assault with a firearm after the robbery on Tuesday. The Pizza Hut delivery man of two years said he went to a home in the 11000 block of Watergate Circle on 10:30 p.m. after getting an order for $107 worth of pizza, bread sticks and soda. The caller said the food was for a party and then another phone call from another number had a woman asking the driver to bring cash for change, according to the report. But when the driver got there, he told a deputy he grew suspicious when he saw no cluster of cars for a party. That's when Wantz put a gun to the delivery man's head and demanded all the money and food before walking away, according to the report. A deputy said he learned two people had stepped forward as witnesses. One of them was Wantz, who told the deputies he saw the robbery and that his cousin did it, according to the report. As deputies, they got a call on Wednesday about a disturbance between Wantz and another man at a residence. Inside the home, deputies said they saw two empty pizza boxes in the trash. After the delivery man identified Wantz in a photo lineup as the robber, investigators questioned a friend of Wantz's. She said Wantz came up to her at about 1 a.m. Wednesday and showed her a gun and told her he did a "lick," or robbery. Deputies said the gun later was found to be a BB gun. When deputies questioned Wantz, he implicated his cousin in the robbery, the report said. He said his cousin looked similar to him. He went on to say he wasn't "the only one going down for this," according to the report. Wantz was booked into Palm Beach County Jail, where he is held without bail. Tech Support Pits From: Vince Re: Keyboard in the dishwasher Dear Webby! My wife put my fashionably dirty keyboard into the dishwasher. It looks great now, but is it safe to plug in again? Vince Dear Vince Most modern keyboards can handle that without any problem. Take the screws off the back and take the back off, and let it dry half a day face-up and half a day face-down. After that, attach the back cover again and try it. Most likely it will work just fine. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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"HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS!! ...Okay, now a little to the left. Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Problems with Fabric Dryer Sheets I bought a new dryer and continued using those fabric dryer sheets. This dryer would kick off with the clothes not dry. I was thinking the timer was bad so called out a repairman. He changed the sensor in the dryer and told us those "dryer sheets" had coated it, causing a false signal that turned off the dryer. He told us to stop using them. Now we only use liquid with our wash and no more trouble. By Kenneth B. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ A very thirsty man goes into a bar. He sits down and waits for the bartender to see him. The man next to him calls for the bartender saying, "I'll have another waterloo." The bartender gives him a tall, ice cold drink, then asks the newcomer what he would like to drink. Wanting to try this new drink, he says, "I'll have a waterloo too." The bartender gives him a tall, ice cold drink. The man takes a big drink from the glass and says, "HEY! This isn't any good. It tastes just like water!" The man next to him looks at the bartender and says, "Well, it is water . . . right Lou? ______________________________________________________ Lisa and Linda are walking down the street. Lisa finds a little mirror, and looks in it. She looks again, and again. Puzzled, she says to her friend, "I just know I've seen this face before!" "Give it to me", says Linda. She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course you have, silly! It's me!"


Whitewater Adrenaline Rush: Extreme Kayaking

Today in 
1558 Elizabeth I ascended the English throne upon the death 
 of Queen Mary Tudor. 
1603 Sir Walter Raleigh went on trial for treason. 
1796 Catherine the Great of Russia died at the age of 67. 
1798 Irish nationalist leader Wolfe Tone committed suicide 
 while in jail awaiting execution. 
1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean 
 and the Red seas. 
1903 Russia's Social Democrats officially split into two groups 
 Bolsheviks and Mensheviks. 
1913 The steamship Louise became the first ship to travel 
 through the Panama Canal. 
1913 In Germany, Kaiser Wilhelm banned the armed forces from 
 dancing the tango. 
1922 Siberia voted for union with the U.S.S.R. 
1968 NBC cut away from the final minutes of a New York Jets-
 Oakland Raiders game to begin a TV special, "Heidi," on schedule. 
 The Raiders came from behind to beat the Jets 43-32. 
1970 The Soviet Union landed an unmanned, remote-controlled 
 vehicle on the moon, the Lunokhod 1. The vehicle was released 
 by Luna 17. 
1979 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini ordered the release of 13 female 
 and black American hostages being held at the U.S. Embassy 
 in Tehran. 
1988 Benazir Bhutto became the first woman leader of an Islamic 
 country. She was elected in the first democratic elections 
 in Pakistan in 11 years. 
1990 A mass grave was discovered by the bridge over the River 
 Kwai in Thailand. The bodies were believed to be those of 
 World War II prisoners of war. 
1997 62 people were killed by 6 Islamic militants outside the 
 Temple of Hatshepsut in Luxor, Egypt. The attackers were 
 killed by police. 
2010 Reasearchers trapped 38 antihydrogen atoms. It was the 
 first time humans had trapped antimatter. 
2014  smiled.


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How difficult is Open Office? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, November 16


Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Tennessee man for being the world's
worst deadbeat dad with 26 kids.
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1973 U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure 
 into law. That pipeline is still working well.
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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The average person's idea of a good sermon is one that goes over his head and hits a neighbor. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ A young man was talking to a girl that he had just met, and asked her name. "I don't want to tell you," she said, "I'm named after both of my parents, and it's kind of embarrassing." "Well, what could be so bad about that?" the young man asked. "My mother's name is Eliza, and my father's name is Ferdinand." the girl answered. "Well, those are nice names" the guy replied. "It would be if they wouldn't have named me FerdEliza!" ______________________________________________________ I was on vacation, playing the slot machines. It was my first time in a casino, and I wasn't sure how the machines operated. "Excuse me." I said to a casino employee. "How does this work?" The worker showed me how to insert a bill, hit the spin button, and operate the release handle. "And where does the money come out?" I asked. He smiled and motioned to a far wall before saying, "Usually at the ATM." ______________________________________________________ Officers at a military installation were being lectured about a new computer. The training officer said the computer was able to withstand nuclear and chemical attacks. Suddenly, he saw that one of the officers had a cup of coffee and yelled, "There will be no eating or drinking in this room! You'll have to get rid of that coffee." The officer said meekly, "Sure, but why?" "Because a coffee spill could short the keyboard and wipe out all of the data!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for this picture: Click through for the big picture Lilac-Breasted Roller ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Terry Turnage 50 Memphis, Tennessee Worst Deadbeat Dad Now Has 26 Kids The Tennessee deadbeat who has fathered 26 children with 20 different women has again been ordered by a judge to make child support payments, this time for a two-year-old Arkansas boy, court records show. Terry Turnage, a 50-year-old Memphis resident, was ordered this month to pay $60 per week to Miesha Davis, mother of the pair’s son Ja’Voin. The support order came as a result of a paternity complaint filed on Davis’s behalf by Arkansas’s Office of Child Support Enforcement. A Circuit Court judge also ordered Turnage to “maintain health care insurance” for the child “when reasonably available” through his employer, and pay $365 in court fees. In addition to Davis, two other Arkansas women have recently secured child support orders against Turnage, who has gained notoriety for impregnating assorted Tennessee women (many of whom also have secured child support orders to which Turnage has failed to adhere). According to Arkansas court records, state officials have filed income withholding notices with a Memphis company that operates a McDonald’s restaurant where Turnage has supposedly worked (and earned $247.28 weekly). However, it appears that Turnage has a stake in a Forrest City, Arkansas nightclub that lists its owner as Turnage’s son, Terry Jr.. The elder Turnage is a regular at Club Envy, where he last month hosted a two-day party celebrating his 50th birthday. The club’s address is listed as Turnage’s residence in some court papers. In addition to his assorted child support cases, Turnage is facing a felony charge of making terroristic threats. Investigators allege that Turnage threatened a Forrest City businessman from whom he had purchased an automobile that did not run any more. In a June 2 written statement, the victim told cops that Turnage warned that if he did not have the Chevrolet repaired and delivered to the Club Envy parking lot, “he would shoot me or my wife.” The man added that Turnage “led me to believe that he had a gun and that he was willing and able to carry through” on his repeated threats. Turnage, who is unwilling to support his offspring, paid the businessman $10,000 in cash for the 2005 Corvette. If convicted of the felony charge, Turnage faces a maximum of six years in state prison. He is being represented by a public defender after filing an “affidavit of indigency” in late-September. Tech Support Pits From: Karen Re: How difficult is Open Office? Dear Webby! I know you like Open Office. How difficult is it to learn how to use it? I just need a woprd processor, spreadsheet, and the occasional PowerPoint presentation. Thanks Karen Dear Karen It's about the same as Microsoft Office, picks up Open Standard and Microsoft proprietary files and saves them in whatever format you select. Changing from Microsoft Office to Open Office is about as difficult as changing browsers, for example changing from Internet Explorer, when that has security problems, to FireFox or Chrome. Some menu items are in different places, and a few commands have names, that make more sense. Not a big deal at all. Sure, for a few days you'll be slowed down a bit, until you get used to the new locations of some of the menu selections, but I found it very intuitive and no problem at all. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?" One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury." But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm." Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast." Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord." Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills." Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles car pooled in a Honda: "The Apostles were in one Accord."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Aluminum Foil as Alternative to Fabric Sheets A ball of aluminum foil to prevent static in the dryer. If you don't have fabric sheets or just don't want to buy them, try using aluminum foil instead! Crumple up a sheet of aluminum foil into a ball and toss it into the dryer. It eliminates static cling, lasts a long, long time, and costs practically nothing! By Marilyn from Colfax, LA ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden he said out loud, "Lord grant me one wish." Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish". The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over anytime I want to." The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify me." The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I have been married and divorced four times. All of my wives said that I am uncaring and insensitive. I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give me the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say "nothing" and how I can make a woman truly happy." After a few minutes God said, "Do you want two lanes or four on that bridge?" ______________________________________________________ John asks his wife, Mary what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. "Would you like a new Mink Coat?" he asks. "Not really," says Mary. "Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?" says John. "No," she responds. "What about a new vacation home in the country?" he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a "No thanks." "Well what would you like for your anniversary?" John asks. "John, I'd like a divorce," answers Mary. "Sorry, I wasn't planning to spend quite that much," says John.


Hurricane season almost done

Today in 
1776 British troops captured Fort Washington during the 
 American Revolution. 
1864 Union Gen. William T. Sherman and his troops began 
 their "March to the Sea" during the U.S. Civil War. 
1885 Canadian rebel Louis Riel was executed for high treason. 
1915 Coca-Cola had its prototype for a countoured bottle 
 patented. The bottle made its commercial debut the next year. 
1933 The United States and the Soviet Union established 
 diplomatic relations for the first time. 
1952 In the Peanuts comic strip, Lucy first held a football 
 for Charlie Brown. 
1969 The U.S. Army announced that several had been charged 
 with massacre and the subsequent cover-up in the My Lai 
 massacre in Vietnam on March 16, 1968. 
1973 Skylab 3 carrying a crew of three astronauts, was launched 
 from Cape Canaveral, FL, on an 84-day mission. 
1973 U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure 
 into law. That pipeline is still working well.
1981 A vaccine for hepatitis B was approved. The vaccine had 
 been developed at Merck Institute for Therapeutic Research. 
1985 Colonel Oliver North was put in charge of the shipment 
 of HAWK anti-aircraft missiles to Iran. 
1988 Estonia's parliament declared that the Baltic republic 
 "sovereign," but stopped short of complete independence. 
1997 China released Wei Jingsheng, a pro-democracy dissident 
 from jail for medical reasons. He had been incarcerated 
 for almost 18 years. 
1998 In Burlington, WIsconsin, five high school students, 
 aged 15 to 16, were arrested in an alleged plot to kill a 
 carefully selected group of teachers and students. 
1998 It was announced that Monica Lewinsky had signed a 
 deal for the North American rights to a book about her 
 affair with U.S. President Clinton. 
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court said that union members could 
 file discrimination lawsuits against employers even when 
 labor contracts require arbitration. 
1999 Chrica Adams, the pregnant girlfriend of Rae Carruth, 
 was shot four times in her car. She died a month later 
 from her wounds. The baby survived. Carruth was sentenced 
 to a minimum of 18 years and 11 months in prison for his 
 role in the murder. 
2000 Bill Clinton became the first serving U.S. president 
 to visit Communist Vietnam. 
2004 A NASA unmanned "scramjet" (X-43A) reached a speed of 
 nearly 10 times the speed of sound above the Pacific Ocean.
2014  smiled.


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NSA recording all your calls 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, November 15

US-CERT released an alert about a serious vulnerability in
Internet Explorer, all versions of Windows. 

Microsoft has not identified any workarounds for this vulnerability.
Until the next Patch-Tuesday updates, don't use Microsoft 
PowerPoint and avoid using Internet Explorer except on sites,
that you know for sure are clean, like for example your bank.

Even if your bank has been hacked and your data stolen and sold,
it is extremely unlikely that an attack onto your computer
would be coming from a bank. Their data might be easy, but
their user interfaces are way too complicated for hackers 
to use. 

For anything other than your bank or Webby, don't use 
Internet Explorer and Powerpoint until you got them patched.

Chrome, FireFox and Open Office are not affected by this
vulnerability. For most PPS files you can safely use 
Open Office Impress. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a
Florida shoplifter, who stuffed a chainsaw down his shorts
right in front of the camera
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1901 Miller Reese patented an electrical hearing aid. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
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Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead. --- Charles Bukowski ______________________________________________________ >From Mim As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under the seat. Later I called the company and was relieved that the driver had found my bag. When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded me. One man handed me my pocketbook, two typewritten pages and a bushel box containing the contents of my purse. "We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there." As I started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse. And we'd like to see just how you do it." ______________________________________________________ I was attending an outdoor music concertwith a young woman I'd recently met. Standing at the back of the crowd, we wrapped our arms around each other, swaying to the music. After a particularly romantic song, my date turned to face me. With a loving smile, she said, "I wish we were closer..." Totally thrilled, I looked into her eyes and whispered, "Do you mean our houses or our philosophies?" She replied, "To the stage." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Craig for this one: Like a lot of married men, I got the "You just don't appreciate me" speech once from Juanita. I promised to treat her royally for the remainder of the day. I took her to lunch at Burger King and Dairy Queen for dessert. She's never mentioned it since. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Bill for this movie clip: Tire change at car races 1950 and 2013 ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Anthony Ballard, 28, Port St. Lucie Floriduh Florida shoplifter, who stuffed a chainsaw down his shorts right in front of the camera Is that a chainsaw in your shorts or are you just excited for some Weird News? A Florida man is accused of shoplifting a chainsaw by stuffing the heavy machinery down his shorts and under his T-shirt, the TC Palm reports. Footage of the incident posted by the newspaper to YouTube, shows the suspect, 28-year-old Anthony Ballard, as he appears to steal the chainsaw from Treasure Coast Lawn in Port St. Lucie. Ballard reportedly asked for change before attempting to conceal the tool. Ballard fled on a bicycle (which police later found was also stolen) before ditching the chainsaw in a vacant lot. A police search for him was unsuccessful, but a Treasure Coast Lawn employee found him and held him until police arrived. Ballard was arrested and transported to the St. Lucie County Jail, according to WPTV. He was charged with grand theft. Tech Support Pits From: Ed Re: Phone surveillance Dear Webby! I read that the US Justice department and the NSA are now recording all phone conversations. What is that causing to happen? And, is there a way to stop that? Ed Dear Ed The only result of that is Billions of Dollars sent to Singapore for fancy Terabyte hard drives. It's no big deal that all your hot calls to your mistresses, or spiritual advisors, are recorded for posterity. It's the same as all the traffic light cameras recording 24 hours a day. As long as there is no accident, nobody looks at the recording. However, if an accident had happened at 4 am, then they copy the relevant 5 minutes and use them in court. And maybe even post them on YouTube. Take for example the Boston Marathon bombers. A month AFTER the bombing they found in the recorded phone conversations leads to other terrorists and people, who knew of the event but did not do anything to stop it. They did not listen to their phone conversations live, they had just recorded them. The surveillance keeps tens of thousands of Americans gainfully employed, and they would be very annoyed if you stopped their cushy jobs. As long as you don't hang out with terrorists or dope dealers, you have nothing to worry about. Have FUN! DearWebby
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There's this cathedral that's still being worked on, and the workers have rigged a "cage elevator" inside so they can get material up and down to the upper floors. A characteristic of these "cage elevators" is that the doors (gate) must be closed manually for them to be "called" to another floor. One day one of the workers, Peter by name, takes the elevator to the top floor, and it is subsequently needed on the first floor by the sexton. Unfortunately, Peter forgot and left the door open. After the sexton rings for the elevator a couple times, to no avail, he yells up for the worker to send the lift back down. Visitors to the cathedral were treated to this sight: The sexton of the cathedral, head tipped up, yelling to the heavens: "Peter! CLOSE THE GATE!!!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Baking Soda for Coffee and Tea Cups I keep a saucer with baking soda in it by my kitchen sink. That way, when I have a cup which is stained, I can get rid of those stains right away with no fuss or bother. I wet my fingers, dip my fingers in the baking soda, and then rub them on the inside of the cup where the stains are. In a flash the stains are gone! Source: I learned this habit from my mother and so I have the added bonus of remembering her every time I use the baking soda. By Bellevillelady from Belleville, Ontario, Canada ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ Police House Calls My partner and I were in our police car when we were dispatched to break up a domestic dispute. We spoke with the couple and the problem was quickly resolved. On leaving, I was admiring the craftsmanship of their turn-of-the-century home and reached for what I thought was the front door. Realizing my mistake, I was turning away in embarrassment when I heard my partner say: "If you have any more problems, we'll be in your closet." ______________________________________________________ Tony, having his second son christened, was much concerned about getting the correct name on the birth certificate. "Will you please name the baby just as I give it to you?" "Certainly," answered the minister, "why shouldn't I?" "Well you see, it's like this," replied Tony. "When I told you I wanted to name my first boy Tom, you wrote on his birth certificate 'Thomas.' This boy I want to name Jack."


Pasta Gallery

Today in 
1777 The Continental Congress approved the Articles of Confederation.
1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that became known 
 as Pikes Peak. 
1867 the first stock ticker was unveiled in New York City. 
1889 Brazil's monarchy was overthrown. 
1901 Miller Reese patented an electrical hearing aid. 
1902 Anarchist Gennaro Rubin failed in his attempt to murder 
 King Leopold II of Belgium. 
1940 The first 75,000 men were called to Armed Forces duty under 
 peacetime conscription. 
1965 The Soviet probe, Venera 3, was launched from Baikonur, 
 Kazakhstan. On March 1, 1966, it became the first unmanned 
 spacecraft to reach the surface of another planet when it 
 crashed on Venus. 
1969 In Washington, DC, a quarter of a million protesters 
 staged a peaceful demonstration against the Vietnam War. 
1985 Britain and Ireland signed an accord giving Dublin an 
 official consultative role in governing Northern Ireland. 
1986 A government tribunal in Nicaragua convicted American 
 Eugene Hasenfus of charges related to his role in delivering 
 arms to Contra rebels. He was sentenced to 30 years in prison 
 and was pardoned a month later. 
1986 Ivan F. Boesky, reputed to be the highest-paid person on 
 Wall Street, faced penalties of $100 million for insider 
 stock trading. It was the highest penalty ever imposed by 
 the SEC. 
1988 The Palestine National Council, the legislative body of 
 the PLO, proclaimed the establishment of an independent 
 Palestinian state at the close of a four-day conference 
 in Algiers. 
1992 Richard Petty drove in the final race of his 35-year 
 career. 
1993 A judge in Mineola, NY, sentenced Joey Buttafuoco to 
 six months in jail for the statutory rape of Amy Fisher. 
 Fisher was serving a prison sentence for shooting and 
 wounding Buttafuoco's wife, Mary Jo. 
1995 Texaco agreed to pay $176 million to settle a race-
 discrimination lawsuit. 
1999 Representatives from China and the United States signed 
 a major trade agreement that involved China's membership in 
 the World Trade Organization (WTO). 
2000 Three police officers from the Rampart division of the 
 Los Angeles police department were convicted on several 
 counts of conspiracy to obstruct justice. One other officer 
 was acquitted. The case was the first major case against 
 the anti-gang unit. 
2005 In Amiens, France, Isabelle Dinoire became the first 
 person to undergo a partial face transplant. She had been 
 attacked by a dog earlier in the year. 
2006 Andy Warhol's painting of Communist Party Chairman 
 Mao Zedong sold for $17.4 million. At the same auction 
 "Orange Marilyn" sold for $16.2 million and "Sixteen Jackies" 
 sold for $15.6 million.
2014  smiled.


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Appointment calendar, that sends emails 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 14
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you, Jim, HMCM!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


______________________________________________________
Today's Bonehead Award goes to 
Drunk Motorist Hit Pedestrian, 
Kept Driving With Victim 
"Halfway Through The Vehicle's 
Windshield"
Details at Boneheads

Today, in 
1956 The USSR crushed the Hungarian uprising. 
More of what happened on this day in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! PayPal The safer, easier way to pay online!
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We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic. --- David Russell Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you're being had. --- Michael Crichton (1942 - 2008), ______________________________________________________ >From Nanarina The Real Truths in Life 1. A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing it. 2. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes. 3. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night after a few drinks - PRICELESS. 4. Breaking News: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot dead by the woman's husband. 5. Arguing over a girl's bust size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available. 6. I haven't verified this on Urban Legends, but it sounds legit. A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it. ______________________________________________________ Those of us who worked at the front desk of a convention hotel in Williamsburg, Va., prided ourselves on making the guests feel special. When someone arrived at reception, credit card in hand, we would sneak a peek at it and address him by name. Once during a particularly busy check-in, one of our guests presented a corporate credit card. "Welcome to Williamsburg, Mr. Bell," the desk clerk said. "Oh, please," the man replied, "call me Taco." ______________________________________________________ They were burying Irish Pat today and the Irish Priest was explaining to the congregation that before they could put Pat to rest, someone had to get up and say something nice about Pat, even though Pat was a womanizer, a drunk and a fighter. No one got up. So the priest got up again and said,"Maybe I didn't explain me-self properly. Before we can put Paddy in his grave, one of you MUST get up and say something nice about the man. It's our duty as Irishmen and Catholics." So as the priest sat down again, Little Murphy in the back pew got up, cleared his throat, and with his porkpie hat in his hand said, "His brother was even worse!". ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Jean for this picture: Thanks to Walter, the Stonecarver, for this picture Click through for the pig p;icture Mandarin Fish ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Marcos Ortega, 33, Ocean Township, New Jersey Drunk Motorist Hit Pedestrian, Kept Driving With Victim "Halfway Through The Vehicle's Windshield" After striking a pedestrian with his car, a drunk New Jersey bonehead drove for more than a mile with the critically injured victim lodged in the vehicle’s windshield, investigators allege. Responding to a report Monday of an erratic driver, an Ocean Township Police Department officer spotted an auto “with what appeared to be a person lying on the hood of the vehicle.” A cop initiated a traffic stop around 7 PM and found “a person halfway through the vehicle’s windshield,” according to prosecutors. A subsequent investigation determined that driver Marcos Ortega, 33, struck the victim when he crossed onto the shoulder on Route 9. Cops estimated that Ortega drove “approximately 1.5 miles” with Kenneth Moeller, 61, lodged in the car’s windshield. Moeller was extricated from the vehicle by emergency service workers and transported to the Jersey Shore University Medical Center, where he is listed in critical condition. The drunk Ortega was charged with drunk driving and leaving the scene of an accident. He was booked into the county jail in lieu of $150,000 bail. Tech Support Pits From: Iana Re: Reminder Dear Webby! I need a reliable reminder service, where I can enter appointments and get email reminders in time to plan my week. What do you recommend? Iana Dear Iana I have used a href="http://mymemorizer.com">http://mymemorizer.com for many years. It is free, and you can set it to remind you on four different time intervals, for example, a month, week, 3 days, 1 day in advance, and even tell it at what time of the day to send you the reminder emails. You don't have to set those intervals all the same, but can vary them for each event. It also has a nice calendar where it shows you the booked events in the colors of your choice. I am quite happy with it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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The story is told of a Russian named Ivanovich who visited the Moscow zoo for the first time. To his amazement, he found a little lamb sharing the cage with a big fierce lion. Ivanovich expressed surprise to his guide. The guide smiled and said, "That is peaceful coexistence." When Ivanovich shook his head in a doubtful way, the guide explained, "Of course, we have to put in a fresh lamb every morning."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Trash Can Liners Most people have several trash containers throughout their house: kitchen, bathroom, bedrooms, office, etc. Most trash that is tossed is dry. If you reserve one trash container for wet trash (kitchen would be a logical one), you can simply empty the others into it on trash day, instead of bagging them all individually. Saves on trash can liners. By Leann D ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt in confirmation request.
______________________________________________________ A handsome young man walks into a chemist shop which is owned and run by two old spinster sisters. The man said to the two old women, "Every time I see a woman, I get the urge to hug and kiss her, and to make mad, passionate love. Is there anything you can give me for this?" The two old women whispered to each other for a moment, and then one of them replied, "My sister and I will give you $200 a week and the two-room flat above the shop." ______________________________________________________ A gentleman goes to Africa and asks his tourist guide while walking in the jungle, "Are we safe here? Aren't there cannibals around here?" The tourist guide says, "Yes, it's safe. You can be sure there are no cannibals in Africa." The tourist replied, "But I heard there may still be some cannibals around here." The guide answered, "There are NO cannibals here. I'm sure. We ate the last one yesterday."


20 weird pictures

Today in 
1832 The first streetcar went into operation in New York 
 City, NY. The vehicle was horse-drawn and had room for 
 30 people. 
1851 Herman Melville's novel "Moby Dick" was first 
 published in the U.S. 
1881 Charles J. Guiteau's trial began for the assassination 
 of U.S. President Garfield. Guiteau was convicted and 
 hanged the following year. 
1889 New York World reporter Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochrane) 
 began an attempt to surpass the fictitious journey of Jules 
 Verne's Phileas Fogg by traveling around the world in less 
 than 80 days. Bly succeeded by finishing the journey the 
 following January in 72 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes. 
1922 The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) began 
 domestic radio service. 
1935 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed the 
 Philippine Islands a free commonwealth after its new 
 constitution was approved. The Tydings-McDuffie Act planned 
 for the Phillipines to be completely independent by July 4, 
 1946. 
1940 During World War II, German war planes destroyed most 
 of the English town of Coventry when about 500 Luftwaffe 
 bombers attacked. 
1951 The first telecast of a world lightweight title fight 
 was seen coast to coast. Jimmy Carter beat Art Aragon in 
 Los Angeles. 
1956 The USSR crushed the Hungarian uprising. 
1968 Yale University announced it was going co-educational. 
1969 Apollo 12 blasted off for the moon from Cape Kennedy
1969 During the Vietnam War, Major General Bruno Arthur 
 Hochmuth, commander of the Third Marine Division, became 
 the first general to be killed in Vietnam by enemy fire. 
1972 Blue Ribbon Sports became Nike. 
1973 Britain's Princess Anne married a commoner, Capt. 
 Mark Phillips, in Westminster Abbey. They divorced in 
 1992, and Princess Anne re-married. 
1979 U.S. President Carter froze all Iranian assets in the 
 United States and U.S. banks abroad in response to the 
 taking of 63 American hostages at the U.S. embassy in 
 Tehran, Iran. 
1983 The British government announced that U.S.-made 
 cruise missiles had arrived at the Greenham Common air 
 base amid protests. 
1989 The U.S. Navy ordered an unprecedented 48-hour 
 stand-down in the wake of a recent string of serious 
 accidents. 
1991 After 13 years in exile Cambodian Prince Norodom 
 Sihanouk returned to his homeland. 
1994 U.S. experts visited North Korea's main nuclear 
 complex for the first time under an accord that opened 
 such sites to outside inspections. 
1995 The U.S. government instituted a partial shutdown, 
 closing national parks and museums while most government 
 offices operated with skeleton crews.
2014  smiled.


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