Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, February 4, 2010

As long as people will accept crap, 
it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
--- Dick Cavett


A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants.
A woman will pay $3.99 for a $2 item that she
doesn't want but that is on sale.


A woman marries a man expecting he will change,
but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change
but she does.







If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Ula Webb-Chambers, 40, of Gainesville, Florida

Pick it up so I can hit you again
A Gainesville woman is accused of hitting a former boyfriend 
on the head with a tire iron and then ordering him to pick it 
up so she could hit him again. 

Ula Webb-Chambers, 40, of 2928 S.W. 39th Ave., was arrested 
Wednesday afternoon on charges of aggravated domestic battery 
and aggravated domestic assault.

According to an arrest report by Gainesville police Officer Shawn Barnes, 
Webb-Chambers and the man had lived together for about 15 months 
before separating earlier this month.

The man told police Webb-Chambers drove up to him near the 
St. Francis House and began arguing with him over money. The man 
said he began walking away but Webb-Chambers put her car into 
reverse and accelerated as she drove backward toward him. He told 
police he ran between two Dumpsters at the back of the homeless 
shelter to avoid being hit. 

The man said he tried to get away from Webb-Chambers by running 
across the street toward a Gainesville fire station but Webb-Chambers 
followed, taking a tire iron from the trunk of her car and running toward 
him screaming things like, "I got something for you," and, 
"The firemen ain't gonna help you."

According to police, Webb-Chalmers caught up with the man about a 
block away and hit him on the back of the head with the tire iron. The 
man said Webb-Chambers then dropped the tire iron and screamed 
at him, saying, "Pick that thing up so I can hit you again."

The man told police that he was dazed but able to get away and that a 
friend picked him up and drove him to an area hospital.

In an arrest report, Barnes wrote that the man had a large bump on the 
back of his head and likely had a concussion. Webb-Chambers reportedly 
denied having an part in the incident.

Webb-Chambers was booked into the Alachua County jail.



A women goes to her boyfriends parents house for dinner.
This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very
nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The
woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her
nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are
almost making her eyes water.

Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a
bit and lets out a dainty little fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her
boyfriends father looked over at the dog that had been
snoozing at the women's feet, and said in a rather stern
voice, "Ginger!"

The woman thought, "this is great!" and a big smile came
across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning
to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate.
She let a much louder and longer fart rip.
The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Ginger!"
Once again the woman smiled and thought, "Great!"

A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip.
This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip with a
fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled,
"dad gomit Ginger, get away from her before you smell like her!"


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Sandie
Re: How do you utilize 7 mouse buttons?

Dear Webby
I got a new Logitech mouse, and it has seven functions. 
What should I assign all those to?
Sandie

Dear Sandie
You can change those assignments any time, but here is how I
set them. The regular left and right clickers are best left
as they are. 
3 Pushing the scroll wheel down I assign to double-click / Enter. 
4 Thumb button: Back a page
5 Pinkie (right side) button: Forward a page
6 Tilting the scroll wheel LEFT: Copy
7 Tilting the scroll wheel RIGHT: Paste



With Microsoft mice the pinkie button is farther forward,
and you can use Thumb / Pinkie for copy / paste,
which seems more logical, 
but with Logitech it is too far back and you WILL accidentally
activate it quite often. Accidentally jumping a page forward
is not a big deal, but accidentally pasting whatever has been
copied last, is a major nuisance.

Because the pinkie button on Logitech mice is so poorly
situated and much too trigger-happy, you might want to 
assign it to do nothing at all. Otherwise you will do a lot
of cussing about an otherwise quite good mouse.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


To get acquainted with his new Parish, the Priest decided to
call on someone daily. One he selected was a young
widow, her husband, according to the index card, had died
two years ago.
After knocking at the door, he was greeted by a young lady
with a baby in her arms.

He said, "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong address, I was
looking for the widow Laffitte."
"You've found her Father." smiled the lady.
"Well, according to the card here, it says your husband died
over two years ago." he said glancing at the baby in her
arms.
"That's correct Father, he surely did... but I didn't."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Use Photos to Make Greeting Cards
I have not bought a greeting card of any kind for more years than 
I can remember. How easy it is to make all kinds of beautiful 
cards with personalized photos from your own computer. 
Print Shop is the software I began with but I have used 
Print Artist for years. My grandchildren have made their 
own school valentines using this program. I can't remember 
the time they bought Valentine's cards for their friends. If 
you are a photography buff many of your very own photos 
can be easily inserted in your cards. And pick your own words 
or special quote to insert inside the card. When you are 
finished you will wonder why you ever spent money on those 
store bought cards. 
By Karen from Davis, CA

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening
worship service and was startled to find an intruder in her house.
Catching the man in the act of burglarizing her home, she yelled,
"Stop! Acts 2:38!"
(Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of
Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven).

As the burglar stopped dead in his tracks, the woman calmly
called the police and explained what she had done. Shortly,
several officers arrived and took the man into custody.
As he was placing the handcuffs on the burglar, one of the
officers asked
"Why did you just stand there? Was it her Bible quote ?"
"Bible Quote???" screeched the burglar.
"She said she had an AXE and TWO 38's!


Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple
decided that was enough, as they had no room in the
trailer for a larger bed.

So the husband went to his doctor/veterinarian and
told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to
have any more children. The doctor/veterinarian told
him that was a procedure called a vasectomy that could
fix the problem but that it was expensive.

A less costly alternative, said the
doctor/veterinarian, was to go home, get a cherry bomb
(fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in
a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count
to 10. 

The Alabamian said to the doctor/veterinarian, 
"I may not be the smartest man in the world, but I 
don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next 
to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor. So the man went home,
lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held
the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4,
5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can
between his legs, and resumed counting on his other
hand.

This procedure is aparently also approved in West Virginia and
Arkansas.






 »  Tugs
 


ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the
Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

Please give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter

Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

[ add comment ]   |  permalink  |   ( 0 / 0 )

---

Need more space fast 

Tuesday, February 2, 2010, 10:53 PM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, February 3, 2010

The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. 
It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
--- Albert Einstein

Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all.
 --- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg


The Boy Scouts were out collecting bottles for a fund
raising activity. One ambitious young man knocked on
a door and a sour-faced lady came to the door and asked:
"What do you want, Sonny?"
"D-d-do you have any beer bottles for the Boy Scouts,
M-m-m-ma'am?" he asked.
"Look here, young man, do I look like the kind of lady
who would drink beer?" replied the lady.
"S-s-sorry, Ma'am," was his reply. "W-w-what about
vinegar bottles?"


Every newspaper in New York sent a reporter and a staff
photographer to the office of a local ophthalmologist when
it was learned that he recently performed a successful sight-
saving operation on the wife of the country's most
celebrated mural artist, who, in addition to paying the
doctor's usual fee, had gratefully insisted on painting one of
his contemporary masterpieces across an entire wall of the
doctor's waiting room.

The mural turned out to be an immense multicolored picture
of a human eye, in the center of which stood a perfect
miniature likeness of the good doctor himself.

While cameras clicked and most of the newsmen crowded
around the famous artist for his comments, one cub reporter
drew the eye specialist aside and asked:

"Tell me, if you can, Doctor-what was your first reaction
on seeing this fantastic artistic achievement covering an
entire wall of your office?"

"To tell the truth," the physician replied, "my first thought
was, thank goodness I'm not a hemorrhoid specialist!"







If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Joshua Algers, 28, in Colorado Springs

Drunk dad told kids to bite officers
COLORADO SPRINGS (UPI) -- Police in Colorado said a drunken 
man arrested in a McDonald's play area told his young kids to 
"bite the officers' faces off." 

Colorado Springs Police said Joshua Algers, 28, was found 
passed out drunk in a McDonald's play area at about 4 p.m. 
Wednesday and officers placed him under arrest upon learning 
there was a warrant out for his arrest, the Colorado Springs 
Gazette reported. 

Algers became aggressive when police called the mother of the 
children to come pick them up, and then instructed the kids to 
"bite the officers' faces off," a police report said. 

The suspect resisted the officers and was subdued with a Taser, 
police said. 

He was arrested on suspicion of assaulting a police officer and 
the original warrant, which officers did not specify. 



A kid comes home from college. His father is a farmer, and
he's shoveling all the manure out of the outhouse onto the
strawberries to fertilize them.

The kid says, "Hey, Pop, learned in college there's an easy
way to do everything."
They go downtown and get some dynamite, they're gonna
rig it up under the outhouse and blow the solids into the
strawberry patch. They get it all rigged up, but they don't
see Grandma coming to use the outhouse. BaBooom!
The manure goes flying, and so does Grandma.
Ploop!...she lands in the strawberries. They go running up
to her... "Grandma, Grandma! My God, are you all right?
Are you all right?"
She says, "Yeah, I'm fine. Whoo! I'm certainly glad I didn't
let that one go in the kitchen!"


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Tunia
Re: Need more disk space

Dear Webby
I desperately need more disk space quickly. My daughter keeps
sending me pictures from her honeymoon, to keep for her, in 
case the silly dingbat loses her camera again. I already 
cleaned out anything that I think isn't absolutely necessary,
but she keeps sending more and more pictures every night.
Tunia. I tried an HP USB connected DVD burner last year,
but even the local computer shop could not get that to work
right.

Dear Tunia
You need a USB connected hard drive. You can get 1 TeraByte
(1000 GigaByte) drives in a USB enclosure for under $90 at
Tiger, CompUSA, Walmart, BestBuy and many other places.
They simply plug in and work. No fuss at all.
Have FUN!
DearWebby


A woman was complaining to a policeman about the
neighbor across the way. She took him up to her abode
and pointing across the court said,
"It's an outrage the way those nudists are carrying on in that
apartment--I'm ashamed."
The cop looked across the court and said,
"I can't see anything going on in there."
"Is that so?" she cried, "you just put this chair up on that
dresser and stand on it! Take these binoculars and you'll
see plenty."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Save Juice from Canned Fruit
Save your juice from canned peaches. Freeze it in ice cube 
trays then when solid move over to a Ziploc bag and store in 
freezer. Use them in your glass instead of ice when drinking 
iced tea. It is good with any tea, but especially good with 
raspberry tea.
By Mom from Missouri

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon
full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian
dog. The children fell to discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
Then a third child brought the argument to a close...
"They use the dog," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."


Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

"How long will it take to pull my tooth?" The patient
asked the dentist.
"Only two seconds"
"How much will it cost?"
"Fifty dollars."
"For only two seconds of work?"
"Well," The dentist answered coolly, "I can pull it very,
very slowly and make it last an hour if you prefer."






 »  Models of Yore
 


ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the
Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

Please give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter

Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

[ add comment ]   |  permalink  |   ( 1 / 1 )

---

How to test your Internet connection speed? 

Monday, February 1, 2010, 11:43 PM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, February 2, 2010

There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what 
the neighbors will say.
--- Cyril Connolly

The squeaking wheel doesn't always get the grease. 
Sometimes it gets replaced.
--- Vic Gold

Computer games don't affect kids, I mean if Pac Man affected us as kids, 
we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching pills and 
listening to repetitive music.
--- Marcus Brigstocke


The housewife answered the phone and listened with relief
to the voice in her ear. "How are you, dear? What kind of
day are you having?"
"Oh, mom, the baby won't eat, the washing machine is
broken, I've not been able to get out of the house to shop, I
twisted my ankle and have been hobbling around. On top
of that, the house is a mess and we're supposed to have
two couples over for dinner tonight."
"Now dear, just stay calm. Sit down, relax, close your
eyes, and I'll be over in 1/2 hour. I'll do the shopping, clean
up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll take care of
the baby when I get there and call a repairman I know
who'll get the washing machine fixed. In fact, I'll call George
at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help
out for once."
"George? Who's George?"
"Why, that's your *husband*, dear."
"Mom, I don't have a husband."
"Is this 234-5678?"
"Uh, no, it's not. I think you have a wrong number." The
housewife paused, then got rather hysterical:
"But, but, but, you're still going to come over and help me,
aren't you?"


"I hope you didn't take it personally, Pastor," an
embarrassed woman said after a church service,
"when my husband walked out during your sermon."
"I did find it rather disconcerting," the preacher replied.
"It's not a reflection on you, sir," insisted the church goer.
"Ralph has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a kid."







If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to a 43 year old robber in San Diego

Robber calls police to complain about interruption
SAN DIEGO  — A man who was busy robbing his elderly victim 
Saturday became so upset when a bystander tried to break up 
the crime by punching the robber in the face, that he, the robber, 
called police to report an assault.

Bad move.
Once they put two and two together, police officers located the 
83-year-old victim, who confirmed the crime, and arrested the 
43-year-old man for suspected elder abuse and robbery, said 
San Diego police Officer David Stafford.

Police were called at 4 p.m. to Akins Avenue at 62nd Street 
near a trolley station, where the robber had the elderly man 
pinned against a wall and was rifling through his pockets when 
the bystander interrupted the crime, Stafford said.

No other information was available about the robber, or the 
35-year-old man who came to the victim’s aid.



In a test of emergency systems  some boy scouts
impersonated wounded persons who were to be picked
up and cared for by the emergency units. One Scout was
supposed to lie on the ground and await his rescuers,
but the first-aid people got behind schedule, and the Scout
lay "wounded" for several hours.

When the first-aid squad arrived where the casualty was
supposed to be, they found nothing but a brief note:
"Have bled to death and gone to McDonalds for a refill."


Girls are attracted to boys, even at an early
age. At an early age, boys are attracted to dirt.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Peggy
Re: How do I find my Connection speed

Dear Webby
How do I find my connection speed on the computer I am using?  
Thank you, 
Peggy

Dear Peggy
Here are 3 free sites to test your connection speed:

http://internetfrog.com/mypc/speedtest/

http://us.mcafee.com/root/speedometer/test_3000.asp

http://www.pcpitstop.com/internet/bw.asp

Have FUN!
DearWebby


The pastor was doing is weekly "children's message"
with the children gathered around him down front.
He was talking to the youngsters on their level about
being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk,
he asked, "Where do you want to go?"
"Heaven!" one of the girls cried out enthusiastically.
"And what do you have to be to get there?" the
preacher asked.
"Dead!" yelled one of the boys.


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Simple Household Bookkeeping System
I keep every receipt (utilities, grocery, medical, etc.) 
in a plain legal sized envelop labeled for the month 
(Example: Jan 09) until the end of the year. I keep 
them in a drawer with my bank statements.

At the end of the year I have 12 legal envelopes the same 
size as my 12 bank statements. I bundle them with rubber 
bands. I begin a new check register each January 1, and 
stop with Dec. 31. I put the check register with the bundled 
envelopes.

At the end of the year I store them in plastic totes. On the 
envelope I will write whether there are important receipts for 
items which could possibly need to be exchanged like a new 
appliance. I have done this for over 20 years.

By Jeanne from Elysian Fields, TX

While that is a paper keeping system, it is not really a
bookkeeping system.

Since you DO have access to a computer, you can use a simple
spreadsheet. Spreadsheets are a LOT easier to use than you
imagine.
Label the cells in the first column with numbers starting with 0. 
There is a button for doing that automatically.
Label the top cell to the right of it DATE.
Label the top cells in the columns to the right of it with the
categories you need for tax purposes, like Meds, or categories
you want to track, like utilities, maintenance, groceries, etc.,
and a comment column at the end.

Let's say your first receipt is for medication. Write a 1onto
it's top corner, type the date from the receipt into the date
column, and the amount on the same row but in the MEDS column,
and a comment, if you want, on the same row in the comment
column.

One of the biggest advantages of a journal like that is that
you not only can find any specific item fast, but that you
SEE your expenses. You can spot trends.

You can give each column a different color background,
and use a different color font for different months.
And yes, you most certainly can sub-total each month,
and of course total each column at year end.

My description may sound difficult and tedious at first
reading, but it's actually really easy and even fun.
I would be surprised, if you don't some day highlight a 
month and hit the GRAPH button. You can make a colorful
pie chart showing how your money is used, or a line
graph showing trends. "Hmmm, fuel expenses are creeping
up. Will have to have a word with Junior!"
Each category will have a different colored line and you
can tell at a glance if there is a change.

To find a receipt, you check the number in the first
column, then dig out the receipt with that number in the
top right corner.

Doing the taxes is of course a lot less tedious if you have
the yearly totals of each category at the bottom.

And you can of course do the same with income.

Spreadsheets like Calc (in Open Office), Quattro (in Corel
Office), Excel (Microsoft), etc, are free or cheap. The only
part that is difficult is getting started with them.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


George and Nancy get along just great, except that she's a
"backseat driver" second to none. After years of putting up
with her pestering, he finally decided he had enough and
advised her that he would no longer drive with her in the
car.

Later that day, on his way home from doing some shopping
at the mall, he heard his cell phone ring, just as he was
merging onto a freeway.

It was Nancy. By chance, she had entered the freeway right
behind George.
"Honey," she said, "your turn signal is still on. And put on
your lights; it's starting to rain."

George did have the grace to say "Thank you!", 
before he tossed his last cell phone out the window.


Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked








 »  Harmony of colors
 


ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the
Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

Please give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter

Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

[ add comment ]   |  permalink  |   ( 3 / 5 )

---

How to install Spybot-Search&Destroy 

Sunday, January 31, 2010, 10:00 PM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, February 1, 2010

In archaeology you uncover the unknown. 
In diplomacy you cover the known.
--- Thomas Pickering

The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems afterwards.
--- Arthur Koestler


An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean
that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior,
the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth,
infinite wisdom, or infinite beauty. Without hesitating,
the dean selects infinite wisdom.
"Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke
and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the
dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At
length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."
The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."


As an elderly lady was boarding the plane, she said to the
flight attendant, "Do these things crash very often?"
The attendant replied,
"No -- just once!"







If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Jason Miles, 22 of Crestview, Florida

"Man You Don't Know How Much Weed I Smoke"

CRESTVIEW -- A man pulled over for failing to maintain a 
single lane and for speeding was arrested after telling police 
he had $2,000 worth of "weed" in his trunk.

The 25-year-old Crestview man was stopped Jan. 22 after a 
Crestview Police Department officer noticed him speeding 
on James Lee Blvd. The driver, Jason Miles, appeared nervous 
and there was a strong odor of marijuana coming from inside 
the truck, the officer noted.

When the officer asked him if there was anything illegal in 
the truck, Miles said, "I got $2,000 worth of weed in the truck!"

During a search, police found 110 grams of marijuana, two 
digital scales and a package of peach-flavored cigars. He was 
charged with possession of marijuana with intent to distribute 
and possession of paraphernalia.

After being read his rights, Miles told police he only sold the 
marijuana on weekends because he was a full-time student 
during the week. He also said he sold some and kept some.

"Man, you don't know how much weed I smoke," he told the officer.

He has a March 2 court date.



A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the
blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said:
"Now, boys, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know,
would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am
standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't
run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "'Cause yer feet ain't empty."


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Hubcap
Re: How do I install Spybot

Dear Webby
I would like to download Spybot search and destroy on my 
Vista home premium computer from you web site but don't know 
quite how to do it. Any help appreciated.
Hubcap

Dear Hubcap
Just click on the Spybot-Search&Destroy button in the left side menu.
Scroll down to where it says DOWNLOAD and click on the blue cube.
That gets you to the Mirrors. Depending on your connection speed,
pick the one closest to you.

It will ask you where on your computer you want it.
Most people are fanatic Easter Egg Hunters and tell it to put it ANYWHERE,
and then go hunt for it later.
I tell it to put it into E:\TOOLS\Spybot

After it has downloaded, tell it to RUN.
It will again ask you where you want the program to be set up.
Again, tell it to do it in a place like E:\TOOLS\Spybot
or let it go to the Windows default place at 
C:\Program Files\Miscellaneous\Stuff and Such\Programs\More Stuff\
In your case it probably makes little difference, since it
produces a desktop icon anyway.

When it finishes the installation, run it.
It will show you what it found, and you can un-check stuff that
you might want to keep, for example the cookies from your bank.
Then hit the "Fix It" button, and it does.
That's all there is to it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby


You are 100% Texan if you have ever had this
conversation :
"You wanna Coke?"
"Yeah."
"What kind?"
"Dr. Pepper."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Set Up A Pet Care Savings Account
I see a lot of requests for advice about sick pets from people 
unwilling or unable to go to the vet due to the expense. Here 
is what has worked for me. I have added pet care into my 
weekly budget. I started a savings account and each payday 
the amount I have determined I can afford goes directly into 
that account. I do not use it for anything except vet costs. 
It adds up quickly and I always have enough for at least a 
checkup in that account. Pets who receive regular checkups 
have less emergencies in the long run, as trouble can be 
detected before it is too late. We owe them nothing less. 
By Kelly from Portland, OR

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


A man and his little girl were on an overcrowded elevator.
Suddenly a woman in front turned around, slapped him and
left in a huff.
The little girl remarked, "That's okay, Daddy, I didn't like her
either, she was stepping all over my toes. That's why I
pinched her."


Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a
sign saying "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on
the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog
asleep on the floor..
He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are
supposed to beware of?"
"Yep, that's him," he replied.
The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly
doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world
would you post that sign?"
"Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign,
people kept tripping over him and knocking their teeth out
on the counter."






 »  Awesome Footwear
 


ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the
Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

Please give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter

Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

[ add comment ]   |  permalink  |   ( 3 / 5 )

---

Humor: Spybot 

Saturday, January 30, 2010, 11:34 PM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, January 31, 2010

Spare no expense to save money on this one.
--- Samuel Goldwyn

Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy 
when they are writing and because the memos, once written, 
immediately become proof that they were busy.
--- Charles Peters

History is more or less bunk.
--- Henry Ford


A preacher said to the farmer,"Do you belong to the Christian
family ?" "No", he said, " they live two farms down ".
"No,no, I mean are you lost ?"
"No, I've been here thirty years."
"I mean are you ready for Judgement Day?"
"When is it ?"
"It could be today or tomorrow ".
"Well, when you find out for sure when it is , you let me know .
My wife will probably want to go both days !"


A golf pro was helping this attractive young woman with her
swing when his zipper got caught in the rhinestones on the
back of her skirt. Needless to say this was embarrassing to
both of them since their relationship had been purely
platonic up to that point anyway. They decided to walk
together in this lock-step back to the clubhouse where
certainly a pair of needle-nosed pliers would fix the
problem.

Just as they turned the corner to the clubhouse a German
Shepherd ran up and threw a bucket of water on them.



Thanks to Sandie for this picture:


under a Live Oak in Ft Myers, FL

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Douglas J. Koufman in Palm Beach

MIAMI -- Authorities say a Miami man cleaned out his elderly 
mother's savings, worth over $800,000.

Douglas J. Koufman is charged with exploitation of an elderly 
person or disabled adult for more than $100,000. The 57-year-old 
surrendered Tuesday at the Palm Beach County Jail and posted 
bail Wednesday.

According to an affidavit by the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office, 
Koufman misappropriated at least $873,000 from his mother's trust fund.

His mother, Charlotte Koufman, is now 88 and suffers from dementia.

Records show the woman's trust contained over $2 million in July 2004.


Three residents at the Funny-Farm are at the doctor's office for
their annual  intelligence test.
The doctor asks the first man, "What is three times three?"
"274," he replies.
The doctor asks the second man, "What is three times three?"
"Tuesday," replies the second man.
The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three
times three?"
"Nine," says the third man.
"That's great!" says the doctor.
"How did you get that?"
"Easy," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."



From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Johnny
Re: Spybot

Dear Webby
Wish I knew about the Spyware two weeks ago. 
Had to shut my computer down until son could fix it. 
Johnny

Dear Johnny
It pays to look at the side menu in the Humor Letter every 
now and then. I have donated free space there for 
Spybot-Search&Destroy for 10 years now.
Everything you see there is an "Essential" that we put on 
every Webby computer, before we let a user touch it.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Lucy went to college. However, she really worried her
folks because all she ever wrote home about was boys and
good times. Her mother decided to have a serious talk with
Lucy when she came home for a weekend. The mother
started out by saying, "Now, dear, if you are only going to
college to find a husband, it certainly will be expensive
shopping."
"Yes, I know, Mom," said Lucy, "but what a supermarket."


Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Store Important Items In Dishwasher in an Emergency
If you ever need to leave in a hurry because of a flood approaching, 
a good place to store important items (computer tower, pictures, etc.) 
is in your dishwasher. It has a watertight seal that will protect your 
items. You could also put items in your front loading clothes washer. 
It will not work with a top loader clothes washer.
By Fred from Michigan

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:





Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.

Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked








 »  Baby Birds
 


ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the
Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

Please give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter

Well, , that's all for today.

Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com

[ add comment ]   |  permalink  |   ( 3 / 5 )

---

Next