Firewall turned off by malware
Wednesday, March 17, 2010, 03:53 AM
Good Morning, !
It's Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Happy St Patrick's Day!
In this world there is always danger for those
who are afraid of it.
---George Bernard Shaw
Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous
without ability.
---George Bernard Shaw
Two Irish mothers were talking about their sons. The first
said, "My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't
smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in
over two years."
The other woman said, "Well, my Francis is a saint himself.
Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three
years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that
time."
"My word," the first Irish mother said. "You must be so
proud."
"I am," the second mother replied. "And when he's paroled
next month, I'm going to throw him one heck of a
big party."
Maureen was feeling a bit ill, and not recovering from a night out
anywhere near as fast as Paddy. So he sent her off to the doctor.
She came back shortly with a puzzled frown and said:
"Oh, Paddy, he wants a "Specimen", but fo the life o me I don't
know if we have one or if we can affod t'buy one!"
Paddy hemmed and hawed for a while, but couldn't figure it out
either. So he finally suggested: "me lass, why don't you go
upstairs and ask Maud O'Reilly, she used to work the streets in
town and she'll know."
So Maureen climbed up the stairs and knocked. Not a minute
later, screaming and cussing and the noise of a ferocious fight
echoed down the stairwell, soon followed by much banging
and clatter as poor Maureen came tumbling down the stairs.
As Paddy helped her up he asked her what happend.
"Oh Paddy, she's so mean! All I did was ask her what a
'specimen' was, and she told me to 'piss in abottle'!
So of course I told her to shit in a hat, and the fight was on."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture:
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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to D'Ann Seidell Bochese, 45, of Windham, Maine
Too drunk and not wearing a seatbelt
STANDISH, Maine --
The Cumberland County Sheriff's Department said alcohol,
speed, and failure to wear seat belts played a major role in a
fatal crash over the weekend in the town of Standish.
Investigators said Tyler Gordon, 22, of Standish, was driving
westbound at a high-rate of speed on Oak Hill Road --
near Serena Lane -- when D'Ann Bochese, of Windham, attempted
to pass him. Bochese's car hit Gordon's and they both went
off the road and traveled through a field about 200 feet before
coming to a stop.
D'Ann Bochese, who had not been wearing a seatbelt, was ejected
from her vehicle and her body was found in a tree, 40 feet
above ground. She was killed instantly.
A passenger in her vehicle, Justin Gordon, 24, of Standish,
a brother of the driver of the car that she hit, who had also
not been wearing a seat belt, was also thrown from the vehicle.
He is in critical condition at Maine Medical Center.
Gordon's 1997 Subaru Legacy flipped end over end several times,
coming to rest on its wheels. He and his two passengers,
Chad Violette, 33, of South Portland and Zeke Malnchuck, 26, of Presque
Isle were able to get out of the vehicle and back to the road on their own
and were later sent to Maine Medical Center for a check-up.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Joseph
Re: Firewall turned off by malware
Dear Webby. In response to the letter from Ann S in this issue.
I kept getting the same messages and could not open any programs
or E mails . Then at times I could and then the message would pop
back up and mess up my computer again. To make a long story as
short as possible the last popup said I needed to download
XP 2010 anti virus
to fix the problem . Looked like a legit site so gullible me , I did it
after sending 50 bucks . Then the problems went away. But , I started
thinking something was not right .No way to uninstall, and a lot of other
things that did not seem right. E mailed the address on the web site
and tried calling the phone number. No results from either . A few
days later I checked my credit card account and found I was billed
for 50 bucks from , would you believe,
WORLDWIDE SOFT.COM -- MOSCOW RUS .
I got screwed . Free anti virus installed at the time . Don't know if my
computer is still infected but seems to be working ok now.
Now have a 30 day free trial of Avast .Am waiting to decide on avast.
What u tink? Also my internet provider ( Verizon) offers a antivirus
program . Please use my experience for others if you wish but please
don't use my name because I am embarrassed !. Thanks for all your
good tips and advice and a great letter !
Joseph
Dear Joseph
Sometimes the free programs, that are not quite good enough to sell,
are not quite good enough protection.
"XP 2010 anti virus" is the same crap as "XP 2009 anti virus" or
"XP 2008 anti virus". Just a phoney scam to extort money from you.
Removal instructions are here: Remove XP 2010
Print them out and follow them step by step, marking each
completed step with a highlighter or pencil.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Why don't you give up the drinking, smoking and
carousing?' said the do-gooder.
'It's too late,' replied Murphy.
'It's never too late,' assured the virtuous one.
'Well, there's no rush then,' smiled Murphy.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Storing a Wet Paintbrush
If you use paint in your crafting you may find that, in the
middle of painting a project, you get called away from your
project but you know you will be back shortly. Instead of
rinsing out your paint brush, you can wrap it in a piece of
plastic or a sandwich bag. Twist the plastic so it stays closed,
keeping air from drying the paint on your brush. Then
when you get back to your project all you do is unwrap
your brush and go back to work. I have stored paint brushes
for a couple of days this way. As long as the plastic is
sealed the paint will not dry out, ruining your brush.
By Arlene from Fort Myers, Florida
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
In Mulligan's bar, the young Salvation Army girl placed
the collection box under the nose of Mick McCarthy and
asked:
'Can you spare fifty pence for God?'
'How old are you?' asked Mick.
Twenty-four,' she replied.
'Well, I'm sixty-eight, I'll see him before you do.
I'll pay him meself.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
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'I'll have fish and chips twice,' said Murphy.
'Very well,' said the shopkeeper. 'The fish won't be
long.'
'Then they'd better be fat,' said Murphy.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
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Have FUN !
Dear Webby from Webby.com
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Tuesday, March 16, 2010, 03:57 AM
Good Morning, !
It's Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
--- Henry David Thoreau, Walden
In journalism, there has always been a tension between getting it first
and getting it right.
--- Ellen Goodman
Morris complained to his doctor,
"I've been to three other doctors
and none of them agreed with your diagnosis."
The doctor calmly replied, "Just wait until the autopsy,
then you will see that I was right."
When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Lonefold's apartment
the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest
looking Rottweiler he had ever seen. But, just like she had
said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the
repairman go about his business. However, the whole
time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with his
incessant cursing, yelling, and name-calling. Finally the
repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled:
"Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!"
To which the parrot replied: "Get him, Brutus!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Lukeisha A. Harris, 24 in Seattle
Woman In Bust Hid Nearly $26,000 In Bra
SPOKANE, Wash. -- A fraud bust, indeed: Spokane County
sheriff's deputies said a woman was hiding nearly $26,000 in
her bra when she was booked into jail for investigation of theft.
Lukeisha A. Harris was one of three Seattle-area residents
arrested Friday as part of an alleged fraud ring. Deputies said
they used phony Oregon driver's licenses and counterfeit credit
cards to obtain cash advances from Spokane banks.
Sheriff's spokesman Dave Reagan said the three were arrested
after a worker at one bank reported that they tried to obtain
money using a stolen credit card. The investigators followed
the ring to two other banks before making the bust.
Reagan said that during a search at the Spokane County Jail,
guards found that the 24-year-old Harris -- who is 6 feet tall
and 400 pounds -- had the cash hidden in her bra, along with
bank receipts.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Ann
Re: Firewall turns off
Hi Webby:
Thanks for the great daily newsletter!!! I have a question about
the firewall.
Every couple of days, I get a message that my firewall is off, so
I have to enable it again. Everything seems to be in order when
I open the Firewall file. Is this something that happens with
XP pro???
Thanks
Ann S
Dear Ann
That is not normal with XP at all.
However, if your computer is infected, then it will do that,
no matter what operating system you have on it.
Better run a proper check on it, and not with a freebie that
is not quite good enough to sell for money.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Two nuns were driving down a country road when they
ran out of gas. They walked to a farmhouse and a farmer
gave them some gasoline; but the only container he had
was an old bedpan. The nuns were happy to take
whatever they were offered and returned to their car.
As they were pouring the gasoline from the bedpan into
the tank of their car, a minister drove by. He stopped,
rolled down his window and said,
"Excuse me, sisters. I'm not of your religion,
but if that car starts, I'm switching!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Add Veggies to Tomato Sauce
Make your spaghetti healthier, tastier, and stretch farther using fresh,
thin sliced carrots and/or thin sliced zucchini. It adds color and flavor
to any tomato sauce and kids love it because the tomato disguises
the taste of veggies just enough to please their pallet. You will know
they are getting their vitamins, and they will know it's still fun to eat!
When cooking up the spaghetti sauce, just add a cup of veggies to
it and cook till veggies are softened. Fresh is best for flavor, but
canned can certainly be used too.
By Dede from Macon, MO
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, made
a turn at a red light where it was prohibited.
"Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!" the man said.
"It's okay, Dad" the boy said. "The police car right behind
us did the same thing."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked |
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of
goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that
the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a
voice-mail for them saying,
"We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."
The next day the collections manager received a phone nessagel,
"Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."
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snmaster.idx database file is missing / in the slum, and naked
Monday, March 15, 2010, 04:01 AM
Good Morning, !
It's Monday, March 15, 2010
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people,
they think it's their fault.
--- Henry Kissinger
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth.
Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
--- Dick Clark
Over dinner one evening, a wife says to her husband,
"I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and
right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult
me. He used really bad language. He even threatened me!"
"How did you meet this fellow?" her husband asked, very
concerned.
"Well," she says, "we met by accident. I backed into his
wheelchair with the car."
A young mother finds out she is pregnant again, and she tells
the good news to anyone who will listen. One day when the
woman and the boy are out shopping, a friend of the mother
asks the little boy if he was excited about the new baby.
"Oh, yes!" the little tyke says. And having overheard some of
his parents' private conversations, he adds, "And I know what
we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call it
Mary, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Jason Botos, 30, Papillon, nebraska
Nebraska. man too drunk for DUI sentencing
PAPILLION, Neb. (AP) - Authorities said a 30-year-old-man
showed up so drunk for his sentencing for drunken driving that
he missed his hearing and now faces even more time behind
bars. Authorities said Jason Botos was driven to the Papillion
courthouse on Thursday by his father, who needed help from
deputies to get his son out of the vehicle.
Prosecutor Ben Perlman said Botos was so drunk he couldn't
attend the hearing, so the judge issued a warrant. Deputies
arrested Botos in the parking lot.
Another hearing is set for Tuesday. A jail spokeswoman said
Botos remained in custody Friday.
Botos had pleaded guilty to misdemeanor drunken driving in a
September 2009 collision with five other vehicles.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Mary
Re: snmaster.idx database file is missing
Dear dr. webby, I think I need someone to take my computer licence
away from me.
I have this message coming up telling me I need to reinstall this file
( snmaster.idx database file is missing )
I have no idea where or how it went missing. You are the best there
is because you have always helped when I am in trouble & I think
this missing file maybe the reason I can not get my McAfee to run.
HELP !!!
As always Thank You for being here able to help.
Mary
Dear Mary
If it was up to me, I would not take away your computer license.
I would take away your AOL and force you to graduate.
From what I read, that problem is a pissing contest between
AOL 9 and VISTA,
and if you are using the AOL version of McAfee instead of the
full version, then McAfee won't work either. You are in the slum,
and you are naked.
There is a LOT of writing about that problem on the net,
however, no two people seem to agree on how to fix the problem.
They all seem to agree, though,
1) that calling AOL support is a waste of time, and that
2) switching to Vista was a dumb move.
Try deleting your AOL desktop shortcut, and make a new one.
That worked for one AOLer.
Another one had luck with downloading that file from
daol.aol.com/software/91 and re-installing it.
Without that file apparently you can not even do a clean UN-install of AOL,
since it not only has your password, but also the master record
of all the various mysterious places where AOL hid files.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
A Scottish lad and lass were sitting together on a heathery
hill in the Highlands. They had been silent for a while, when
the lass said, "A penny for your thoughts."
The lad was a bit abashed, but he finally said,
"Well, I was thinkin' how nice it would be if ye'd give me
a wee bit of a kiss."
So she did so. But he again lapsed into a pensive mood
which lasted long enough for the lass to ask him,
"What are ye thinkin' now?"
To which the lad grumbled, "Well, I was hopin' ye hadn't
forgot the penny!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Insulate Windows With Bubblewrap
A great way to insulate windows in the winter and summer,
is to use Bubblewrap. It not only insulates, but it still lets light in.
It won't grow mold, and can be washed. I put it inside my windows.
You can hang it up with just a few tacks or push-pins.
By JLS
If at all possible, use double-sided tape and attach
the bubble wrap 7 cm (2 1/2 inches) from the glass, with un-vented
dead air space between the glass and the bubble-wrap. That is the
absolute optimal distance for insulating that way, but anything from
one to three inches is still excellent.
If the window is hinged, you can make a frame froim 2x2's and
stretch the bubble-wrap over that frame, then attach that frame
to the window. That way you can open the window without
any fuss.
Unless you want a hot-box for pre-heating the water for the
water heater or pool, make sure windows that are insulated
that way, are shaded in summer or have blinds or shutters
on the OUTSIDE.
That 7cm trick of course also works for greenhouses. If you
see somebody upgrading their windows, try to get the old
single pane windows to make a simple lean-to greenhouse
on a side of the house or apartment balcony. Just make sure
that the glass is on the outside. UV from the sunlight destroys
bubble-wrap in one season. Glass stops the UV.
Unless you want boiled tomatoes, you will have to provide
venting on hot summer days. That trick works a lot better
than you expect.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was
placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of
flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and
eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart
opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed.
Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter.
The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"
"I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied.
"What's so funny about that?"
"I'm a proctologist."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked |
What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
A power failure.
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Sunday, March 14, 2010, 04:36 AM
Good Morning, !
It's Sunday, March 14, 2010
Books have the same enemies as people: fire, humidity, animals,
weather, and their own content.
--- Paul Valery
It is a sign of a creeping inner death
when we no longer can praise the living.
--- Eric Hoffer
One day our German class was unusually talkative despite
repeated warnings, and our teacher was becoming rather
exasperated. After what must have been the sixth or eighth
warning, he raised his voice to declare,
"All right! The next person who talks is going to be severely
castigated."
The class was then very quiet for a few seconds, at least until a
girl in the front row asked the teacher,
"Mr. T--, how are you going to do that to a girl?"
Ray and Randy were riding the New York City subway when a
beggar approaches them asking for spare change.
Randy adamantly rejects the man in disgust.
Ray, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a five, and
gladly hands it to the beggar with a smile.
The beggar thanks him profusely and continues on to the other
passengers. Randy is outraged by his friend's act of generosity.
"What on EARTH did you do that for???" shouts Randy.
"You know he's only going to use it on booze!!!"
Ray replies, "And we weren't?"
Looks like this year the fox got away
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Santiago Contreras, 20, Middletown, NY
Fake FBI man targeted police chief's house
NEW YORK (UPI) -- Police in a New York town said an attempted
home invader posing as an FBI agent was arrested after targeting
the wrong man -- the chief of police.
Investigators said Santiago Contreras, 20, knocked on the
Middletown police chief's door at about 9:18 a.m. EST Tuesday
and allegedly flashed a resident alien card, claiming it was his
FBI credentials, and displayed a piece of paper he claimed was
a search warrant, WABC-TV, New York, reported Wednesday.
The police report said Contreras fled on foot after the chief
asked to see his identification again and he was later arrested
by officers and found to be in possession of a homemade
"shank" knife and plastic gloves.
Contreras was arrested and charged with attempted robbery,
attempted burglary, criminal possession of a weapon, criminal
possession of a forged instrument and criminal impersonation.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: WTW
Re: Sleep or hibernation?
What is the difference between Hibernation and Sleep Modes?
Are there times when either is preferable to the other? What
are the advantages and/or disadvantages of each?
With a laptop (Windows Vista) does one or the other use more
battery power?
Dear WTW
Don't use sleep as the default lid closing action. Windows
is rather flakey about waking up from sleep if you have
Vista or W7. Plus it uses battery. Sleep should never be
used for longer than refilling your coffee. Sleep does not
save anything to the hard drive, just to the RAM.
If the battery runs out while it is in Sleep, you lost whatever
you had going.
Hibernate saves everything to the hard drive, and then
safely shuts down. When you wake it up from Hibernation,
it takes 20 seconds longer to wake up, but it does so reliably,
and without losing anything.
Also, Hibernate does not run down your battery, even if it is
in hibernation for a week or two.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly
clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor
vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift
for her son. She brought her selection - a baseball bat
to the cash register.
"Cash or charge," the clerk asked.
"Cash," she snapped. Then apologizing for her rudeness,
she explained, " I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle
bureau. I am not too sane right now!!"
"Shall I gift -wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly,
"Or or you going back?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Keep Your Feet Dry With Plastic Bags
When we were kids and wanted to play outside in the rain or
snow, we didn't have boots. My mother would put plastic
bags over our socks then put our shoes on then cover the plastic
bags up with our pants. My mom used bread bags but I used
recycled plastic grocery bags for my kids. These days I still
cover my socks with plastic bags before I go out into the snow.
It's one more useful thing you can do with those plastic bags
that are just waiting to be reused!
By CDR
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Tom was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked
by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the hallway toward
you, what would you do?"
Tom replied, "I would get in my helicopter and fly away!"
The doctor then asked, "Where did you get a helicopter from?"
Tom replied, "The same place you got your silly train!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked |
Two husbands, Bill and Doug, were discussing their married
lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were
argument sometimes.
Then Bill said, "I've made one great discovery. I now know how
to always have the last word."
"Wow!" said Doug, "How do you manage that?"
"It's easy," replied Bill. "My last words are always 'Yes, Dear.'"
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
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Saturday, March 13, 2010, 02:26 AM
Good Morning, !
It's Saturday, March 13, 2010
Tonight, change the clocks to show one hour ahead of where they
currently are. At the same time, also replace your smoke detector
batteries.
The human mind treats a new idea the same way the body treats a
strange protein; it rejects it.
--- P. B. Medawar
Charm is a way of getting the answer yes
without asking a clear question.
--- Albert Camus
My mother taught me about JUSTICE -
"One day you will have kids,
and I hope they turn out just like YOU..
THEN you'll see what it's like."
"It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English
teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both
ears and out the other."
"Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puzzled
teacher. "But you only have two ears, boy."
"Guess I'm no good at math, either!"
Monument Valley
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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Rondell Bailey, Oklahoma City
Man offered 'last tree' to deputies
OKLAHOMA CITY (UPI) -- Authorities in Oklahoma said a man
who crashed into a parking lot walked into a jail and offered
a stick he called the "last tree in the universe" as payment.
Oklahoma County sheriff's deputies said Rondell Bailey walked
into the downtown Oklahoma City jail with a stick and told deputies
he wanted to offer the object, which he called the "last tree in the
universe," in exchange for dropping any possible charges
against him, KOCO-TV, Oklahoma City, reported Wednesday.
The deputies said Bailey left after being told the stick was not
an acceptable form of payment and threw a brick through a
jail window.
Investigators said they discovered a white powder suspected to
be methamphetamine during a search of the suspect's truck.
Bailey was arrested on destruction of property and drug charges.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Betty Jane
Re: text version
I DID NOT mean to unsubscribe...I want the humor text version! I don't
like the one I'm receiving.
Thank you...I DO want to receive it, but in another version.
Betty
Dear Betty
The text version was retired on March 1/2010 after 16 years,
due to lack of demand and response, but especially
because of too many bounces from full mail boxes of people,
who only check their mail once every blue moon.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Jill was selling tickets at the movie house when she got a phone
call. This woman said, "How much is a ticket?"
Jill said, "Four dollars."
She said, "How much for children?"
Jill said, "Same price, four dollars per seat."
She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children."
Jill said, "OK, put the kids on a plane somewhere, and you
come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cut Your Alfredo Sauce With Broth
Here's a tip that can help you reduce your sugar and fat
intake and save you a little money. If you buy a jar of
alfredo sauce, try cutting it with an equal amount of
chicken broth. Heat the broth and sauce together,
throw in some brocolli and cook until tender. Then mix this
sauce with your noodles and a handful of grated parmesan
cheese. You end up with a thinner sauce but it still tastes
good and has reduced fat, calories and sugar.
Lewis from Port Orchard
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
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At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud
young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone
and everything. He was served a piece of meat, and as he
picked it up with his fork, he held it up and smirked:
"Is this pig?"
Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly:
"To which end of the fork are you referring?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
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Nancy was a none-too-bright young woman who had moved to
Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn't find fame
or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her
plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in
a divorce case.
When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward.
"Ms Nancy, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the
'other woman' in her husband's life. Now, do you admit that you
went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?"
"Well, yes," acknowledged Nancy with a sniff, "but I couldn't help
it."
"Couldn't help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How's that?"
"Mr. Evans deceived me."
"Exactly what do you mean?"
"See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk
I was his wife."
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Very old computer with not much RAM
Friday, March 12, 2010, 03:00 AM
Good Morning, !
It's Friday, March 12, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle,
is a deep delight of the blood.
--- George Santayana
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy.
It's rather distracting!"
Caddy: "This isn't a watch, sir, its a compass!"
A young boy about five or six years was talking on the telephone.
As his dad listened on, the youngster told his grandparents
dejectedly, "Mom is in the hospital, so the twins and Roxie and
Billy and Sally and Max-the-dog and me and Dad are home all
alone."
Thanks to Guinn for this picture:
A Red-shafted Flicker having lunch with a Pine Siskin.
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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Gregorio Iniguez, Chile
name of country mis-spelled on coin
The general manager of the Chilean mint has been sacked after
thousands of coins were issued with the name of the country
spelled wrongly.
The 50-peso coins were issued in 2008, but no-one noticed
the mistake until late last year, reports the BBC.
Instead of C-H-I-L-E, the coins had C-H-I-I-E stamped on them.
The coins have since become collectors' items and the mint
says it has no plans to take them out of circulation.
People have reportedly been hoarding the coins in the hope
their value rises.
But the mistake has cost the mint's general manager, Gregorio
Iniguez, and several other employees, their jobs.
It is not the first embarrassing blunder at the Chilean mint.
Last October, someone there sold a rare medal, which should
have been housed in the institution's museum, to a coin collector.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Noella
Re: Very old computer
Dear Webby,
We have another very old computer I want to put Windows 98 on.
The only legal Windows 98 cd I have is an upgrade which means
I need to install Windows 3.1 or Windows 95 and upgrade. I have
a Windows 95 cd I can use.
My problem is that right now the computer has Windows XP on it.
The hard drive is ntfs and I need to format it to fat32. How do I do
that? It ran the XP before putting on and taking off Service Pack 2
(though I don't know how it ran XP since it only has 96-97 mgs of
ram on it). Right now, it is in a "hang or loop" mode - trying to start XP,
shutting down and restarting. I've been told that is because it doesn't
have enough ram to run XP.
I've searched the 'net, but I don't seem to come across a site that
deals with the main hard drive.
It won't access my Windows 95 cd because it's ntfs and I need to
change it. At least that's what I've been told.
Thanks so much,
Noella
Dear Noella
If it had enough actually working RAM, then the Windows 95
set-up CD would format the drive properly. You can select FAT32
or even FAT16 in the BIOS, if necessary.
With only 96 MB RAM I doubt that even Windows 3.1 would work well.
As far as I remember, we used to use 256 MB in those days.
Since you probably can't get RAM for that old board, your best
bet is to get a motherboard kit from Tigerdirect or a place
like that, including 2000 MB of RAM, and have a kid with good
eyesight install it. It is not difficult at all, but some of the
writing on the motherboard is too small for most adults.
Anything else will probably wind up costing you more.
You can also check with a local computer fixer to see if
they have working motherboards from people who upgraded
to more powerful boards.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the
company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for
weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told
him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of
prunes at the grocery store!"
"I doubt that!" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom
decided to call the grocery store.
A clerk answers and Tom says, "Can I please talk to the
Vice President of prunes?"
The clerk replies, "Sure, Canned or Dried?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Masking Tape to Make Seed Tapes
I empty the packet of seed on a plate. I unroll masking tape
in front of me. Sticky side up, I dampen my index finger.
It helps, to pick up the seeds. I then place two seeds, down
on the tape, then two more seeds down on the tape, six inches
apart. Add two more seeds down until you run out of seeds.
I roll up the tape on a Popsicle stick, or a stick from outside,
or an ink pen. I don't use pencil because of the lead inside.
At planting time, I use a stick to help unwind. I plant 6 inches
under, loose soil mixed with one part sand 3 parts potting soil.
I plant straight, to the garden. I cover if before, last frost.
There is no danger of root shock. My plants are always straight.
They do well. I store my seeds in a dry plastic zip lock bag,
with a paper towel to absorb any moisture. I store all my seeds
this way.
By Ellen Lou from Tennessee
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE -
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside -
I just finished cleaning!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked |
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL -
"If you don't clean up your act,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
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How do I open .swf files?
Thursday, March 11, 2010, 03:15 AM
Good Morning, !
It's Thursday, March 11, 2010
You cannot escape the responsibility of
tomorrow by evading it today.
--- Abraham Lincoln:
Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while,
nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
--- Kin Hubbard
A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first
morning in Camp. He was surprised to see one of the
youngsters had an umbrella. The counselor asked,
"Why did you bring an umbrella to camp?"
The kid answered, "Did you ever have a mother?"
One Sunday a priest announced he was passing out minature
crosses made of palm leaves. "Put this cross in the room where
your family argues most," he advised. "When you look at it, the
cross will remind you that God is watching."
When the parishoners were leaving church, a woman walked up
to the priest, shook his hand and said, "I'll take five."
Thanks to my dad for this picture:
Dendrobium
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to a 41 year old Swedish fake pilot
Bogus pilot arrested just before take-off
A Swedish man without a valid pilot's licence has been arrested at
Amsterdam as he was about to fly a jet with 101 passengers to Turkey.
The 41-year-old man said he had been flying for European
airlines for 13 years and had logged 10,000 hours, reports the BBC.
Police said he once had a licence to fly small planes but it had
expired and it did not allow him to fly large jets.
Reports say the man was relieved his long deception was
uncovered and tore off his pilot's stripes in the cockpit.
Turkey's Corendon Airlines said he had been flying for the
airline for two years and had "expertly misled the company
with his false papers".
The airline said it had been alerted by police and had a pilot
standing by to fly the Boeing 737 from Amsterdam's Schiphol
airport to Ankara.
Dutch police were acting on a tip-off from Swedish authorities.
The man is in custody awaiting trial for forging documents and
flying without a licence.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Phyllis
Re: How do I open .swf files?
Dear Webby,
First, I want to tell you how very much I enjoy this newsletter
on a daily basis! There is always something to smile about,
ponder, and learn from! Thank you so much!
Now, I have a question, and I hope you can help me. I have a
HP with Vista Home Premium program, and for some reason,
I can't open any attachment that is .swf. What is the reason,
and can I remedy the situation?
Thanks so much for your help, in advance!!!
Sincerely,
Phyllis
Dear Phyllis
Just go to my Tool Box and download the Adobe Flash Player.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss
their home lives, one said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do
anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I've lost 20 pounds."
"Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend.
"Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another
fifteen pounds first."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Scrapbooking Material From Surprising Sources
While I don't scrapbook, my new sewing machine gave me tons
of scrapbooking materials, if I was inclined! The manufacturer
published a second full manual in a language I don't speak or
understand. I can cut that up for scrapbooking pages -
there's diagrams, pictures, line art, and frames that
would be cool to use.
By Dorrie from Norman, OK
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A couple trying to break into society hosted a dinner party. As
the guests were enjoying their dinner salad, the maid called
the hostess from the table. The maid informed her that the cat
had climbed on the kitchen table and eaten a large portion of
the salmon's midsection.
The hostess decided to quickly drive to the store and get some
canned salmon to fill the eaten portion.
As the guests were enjoying the fish, the maid called the hostess
into the kitchen and announced while wringing her hands,
"Madam, the cat is dead."
The hostess and her husband informed the guests and
suggested it might be best if everyone went to the hospital and
had their stomachs pumped.
Returning home, the couple asked the maid where she had put
the cat. "It is still out on the road where you ran over it when
you went to get the canned salmon."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked |
A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself
as a man and joined the army.
"But, wait a minute," said the listener, "She'll have to dress
with the boys and shower with them too. Won't she?"
"Sure," replied the man.
"Well, won't they find out?"
The man shrugged, "So far, none of them complained."
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How do I make destop links to sites?
Wednesday, March 10, 2010, 03:04 AM
Good Morning, !
It's Wenesday, March 10, 2010
There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
--- James Thurber
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
--- A. H. Weiler
Thanks to Cookie for this story:
Little Matthew was 9 years old and was staying with his
grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside
with the other kids for a while when he came into the
house and asked her,
'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the
same room and one is on top of the other?'
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him
the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.'
Little Matthew said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to
play with the other kids..
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily,
'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse.. It's called
Bunk Beds..
And Jimmie's mom wants to talk to you.'
Thanks to Sandie for this story:
"I have a problem," Suzanne complained to her friend,
"I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining
that they can never reach me."
"Don't you have a phone in your car?" asked the friend.
"That was too expensive, so I did the next best thing.
I put a mailbox in my car."
"A mail box? Does that work?"
"Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet."
"And why do you think that is?"
Suzanne thought for a moment, then replied,
"I figure it's because when I'm driving around,
my zip code keeps changing."
The first Norwegian Icebreaker heads up the Mississippi
As you may have seen on the news, it's been very cold in the
Midwest, so cold in fact that we have borrowed a Norwegian
Icebreaker from Minnesota to unclog the Mississippi, starting
near Davenport and working its way north. Here is the first
picture of it as it begins the hard work required to break up
the ice.
Tom W
Norwegian Icebreaker
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Alen Nguyen, 22, in Winter Haven, Florida
Tried to redeem winners at same store where stole the tickets
BARTOW, Fla. (AP) - A Winter Haven man was arrested after
authorities say he took a winning scratch-off ticket back to the store
he had stolen it from a day earlier.
The Polk County Sheriff's Office reports that 22-year-old Alen Nguyen
stole $70 worth of scratch-off lottery tickets from a Circle K store on
Sunday.
One of the tickets revealed a $50 prize.
When Nguyen went back to the store on Monday to claim the
money, a clerk who was aware of the theft asked Nguyen for his
driver's license and wrote down the information.
The clerk called the authorities, and deputies went to arrest Nguyen.
He was charged with retail theft and later released on $250 bail.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Carol
Re: How do I make destop links to sites?
Dear Webby,
how can I get links to sites I use frequently to be sent to my destop?
I use Windows XP Service pack 3.
Thanks!
Carol
Dear Carol
Browse to a site that you want a shortcut icon for,
then grab the little icon at the left side in the browser
address bar, and drag it to the desktop, or to a thematic
folder on the desktop.
That's all there is to it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Thanks to Roland for this story:
One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we
were first married, you took the small piece of steak and
gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me
the smaller. You don't love me any more?"
"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook
better now."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Bleach Water to Control Gnats
Recently our house has been overrun with gnats. I followed all your
suggestions, nothing worked. I finally called an exterminator, he
couldn't come but he told us to pour scalding water down every
drain in our house and follow it up with bleach.
They said we may have to do it several times before we can see
it is effective. We used 2 gallons of scalding hot water for each
drain and followed up with a quart of bleach for each drain.
I wanted to pass this along cause it is really a problem this year.
By BJ from Mid Missouri
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Thanks to Sandie for this story:
Joan had a system for labeling leftover meals in the freezer .
She would carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or
"Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables" or "Chicken and
Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie."
Everyday when she asked her husband what he wanted for
dinner, he never asked for any of those meals. She decided
to stock the freezer with his various requests. What he really likes.
So now you'll see a whole new set of labels: "Whatever",
"Anything", "I Don't Know", "I Don't Care", "Something Good",
or "Food" .
No more frustration for Joan, because no matter what her
husband replies when she asks him what he wants for dinner,
it's there waiting.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked |
Linda and Jill are having coffee when Linda notices
that Jill seems troubled and asks her, "Is something
bugging you? You look anxious."
"Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life
savings in the stock market," Jill explained.
"Oh, that's too bad," Linda sympathized. "I'm sure
you're feeling sorry for him."
"Yeah, I am," Jill said. "He'll miss me."
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Can you run Norton and McAfee together on one machine?
Tuesday, March 9, 2010, 02:54 AM
Good Morning, !
It's Tuesday, March 9, 2010
“America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the
system, but too early to shoot the bastards."
--- Fred Maslack
Bob and Katie were having a discussion about family finances.
Finally Bob exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house
wouldn't be here!"
Katie replied, "If it weren't for your money,
I wouldn't be here either."
A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined.
The lawyer thundered at him: "Have you ever been married?"
"Yes, sir," said the witness in a low voice. "Once."
"Whom did you marry?"
"Well, a woman."
The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman. Did
you ever hear of anyone marrying a man?"
And the witness said meekly, "MY mother did."
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture:
Near Bogota, Columbia
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to a woman in Bochum, Germany
German police summoned over forgotten vibrator
BERLIN (AFP) – A woman in Germany phoned police after hearing
"suspicious noises" in her flat, but much to her embarrassment
officers found the source was a vibrator, authorities said Friday.
The noise was so loud and strange, even over the telephone, that
police in Bochum in western Germany decided to send a patrol
car around to the "scene of the crime", a statement said.
"Daringly, and with the occupier's permission, one of the officers
opened the drawer of a wardrobe where the noise was coming from.
"Underneath some clothes he found a very personal, battery-operated
object which was switched on.
The tenant's face abruptly changed colour."
Police then "wished her a nice evening and left".
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Joyce
Re: Can you run Norton and McAfee together?
I was wondering if you can run Norton with McAfee
I have always used Norton & worked great until my computer
acted up the other day. Now i can't even open up other sites.
Can you tell me if you know if you can get a virus form
You Tube I am always cafefull on what i open
Thank You
Joyce
Dear Joyce
Your computer worked great, because you were careful,
probably not because you have Norton. As you found out,
Norton did not adequately protect you.
.
What makes it worse is that Norton is as difficult to remove
as a trojam pr virus, and makes virus removal even more
difficult.
There is a Norton Remover in my Tool Box. After using that,
you can do a clean install of McAfee or Kapersky
Running two different anti-virus programs is generally not
a good idea. Quite often they get into a pissing contest and
put each other's virus detection tables into Quarantine.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival
meetings, When he was to preach at a church, he would secretly
hire a small boy to sit in the ceiling rafters with a dove in a cage.
Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the
Holy Spirit to come down, and the boy in the rafters would dutifully
release the dove.
At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the
preacher called for the Holy Spirit to desend. He again raised his
arms and exclaimed: "Come down, Holy Spirit!"
Still no sign of the dove.
The preacher then heard the anxious voice of a small boy call
down from the rafters:
"Sir, a big black cat just ate the Holy Spirit.
Shall I throw down the cat?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Make Bag Salads for Camping
Camping is a great family time but you always don't have
lots of room for cooking and storage. I make what we call
a bag salad. You cook all your favorite ingredients (pasta or
potato salad) and put in a Ziploc bag. Add your seasonings
and dressing and just mix with bag closed, carefully squishing.
Store in cooler till ready to serve. You can serve from the
bag or put in a dish. Happy camping to all.
By Sillepeanut from Whitehall, MI
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A gentleman goes to an estate sale and notices that one of the
items for sale is a large parrot.
He's always wanted a talking bird, so when it comes up for bid he
offers $50.
The bidding proceeds hot and heavy with someone always
bidding ten dollars more than he until the parrot is finally sold to
him for $1,500. When he goes to get the bird, he asks the
auctioneer,
"Can the bird talk?"
The auctioneer replied, "Who do you think was bidding against
you?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
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It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said,
"We are living in a wicked land where sin is on every hand. I have
had a terrible fight with the old devil all week."
Whereupon her husband, who was sitting glumly by her side said,
"It's not all the devil's fault; she's not that easy to get along with
either on some days."
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How to get rid of lsas.blaster.keylogger
Monday, March 8, 2010, 03:33 AM
Good Morning, !
It's Monday, March 8, 2010
Most advances in science come when a person for one reason or
another is forced to change fields.
--- Peter Borden
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is
the belief that one's work is terribly important.
--- Bertrand Russell
A wife sent her husband and their daughter to the health food
store with a carefully prepared shopping list. They returned
with brussel sprouts, organically grown tomatoes, wild rice, tofu,
veggie burgers, celery stalks, ....
and a box of chocolate cookies.
The man noticed his wife's hostile glare when she pulled out the
cookies. So he said, "Hey, this box of cookies has one-third
less sugar AND fat than usual!"
"Really? And just why is that?" she asked icily.
"We ate a third of the cookies on the way home," he grinned.
Marcy walks into a drug store and asks the clerk if she can use
the store's baby scale.
"Sorry, ma'am," says the clerk. "Our baby scale is broken. But we
can figure the baby's weight if we weigh mother and baby
together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother
alone, and subtract the second number from the first."
"Oh, that won't work," says Marcy.
"Why not?" asks the clerk.
"Because," she answers, "I'm not the mother - I'm the aunt."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Megan Mariah Barnes, 37 from the Flodiduh Keys
Driver lacked razor-sharp focus
BY ADAM LINHARDT Citizen Staff
alinhardt@keysnews.com
As authorities nationwide warn motorists of the dangers of
driving while texting, Florida Keys law enforcement officers
add a new caution: Don't try to shave your privates, either.
Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash
Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by
a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area
while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat.
"She said she was meeting a boyfriend in Key West and
wanted to be ready for the visit," Trooper Gary Dunick said.
"If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it. About 10 years
ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot ... who had three
or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal
and I thought, 'Nothing will ever beat this.' Well, this takes it."
If that weren't enough, Megan Mariah Barnes was not supposed
to be driving and her 1995 Ford Thunderbird was not supposed
to be on the road.
The day before the wreck, Barnes was convicted in an Upper
Keys court of DUI with a prior and driving with a suspended
license, said Monroe County Assistant State Attorney Colleen
Dunne. Barnes was ordered to impound her car, and her driver's
license was revoked for five years, after which time she must
have a Breathalyzer ignition interlock device on any vehicle she
drives, Dunne said. Barnes also was sentenced to nine months'
probation.
Barnes and Charles Judy were southbound in her Thunderbird
at 11 a.m. when they slammed into the back of a 2006 Chevrolet
pickup driven by David Schoff of Palm Bay. His passengers were
a man and two women; the latter were treated for minor injuries
at Lower Keys Medical Center, FHP spokesman Alex Annunziato said.
Schoff had slowed to about 5 mph to make a turn when the
Thunderbird hit him.
Barnes allegedly drove another half-mile, then switched seats with
Mr Judy, who allegedly claimed to be driving, Annunziato said.
"She jumps in the back seat and he moves over," Dunick said. "It was
like the old comedy bit, 'Who's on first?' "
Burns on Judy's chest from the passenger-side airbag deploying
belied their story, Dunick said. The airbag in the steering wheel
did not deploy, he said.
Troopers charged Barnes with driving with a revoked license,
reckless driving, leaving the scene of a wreck with injuries and
driving with no insurance. Mr Judy was not charged.
Barnes faces a maximum of a year in jail if found guilty of violating
her probation due to the wreck, Dunne said.
"My phone has been ringing off the hook all day, and I know there's
a funny side to this, but it's also deadly serious. This is a scary road
and a lot of bad wrecks are caused by dumb stuff like this," Dunick said.
"It is unbelievable. I'm really starting to believe this stuff only happens in
the Keys."
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Jai
Re: lsas.blaster.keylogger
Dear Webby
The worm/virus lsas.blaster.keyloger has taken over
my pc. It will not alllow me to do anything on it at all.
It will not let into it to do any repairs. We went to a site
on google by typing in lsas, and it had a removal
suggestion, and a stop process there. It will not allow
me to do either of them. It will throw up the window for
a minisecond, and then it is gone.
Can you nelp me, do you know what to do??? I am on a
neighbors pc, and have my lappie right here too.
Please help me asap...
Thanks,
Jai
Dear Jai
Try using that remover in Safe Mode.
Reboot your computer and keep hitting F8 during the boot,
until you get the choice of boot type.
Select Safe Mode,
then run that remover.
If that doesn't help,
restart in Safe Mode with networking
and try this:
http://darfuns.com/remove-trojan-lsas-b ... keylogger/
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Dear Webby
Your fix worked perfectly! The nasties are gone, and I have
my pc back without having to pay for it as they were demanding.
I knew you would know how to fix it, thank you sooo much for
helping.
Jai
In the back woods of Tennessee, a redneck's wife went into labor
in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist
in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed
the father-to-be a lantern and said,
"Here, you hold this high so I can see what I am doing."
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.
"Whoa there," said the doctor,
"Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there's
another one coming".
Sure enough, within minutes, he had delivered a baby girl.
"Hold that lantern up, don't set it down, there's another one!" said
the doctor.
Within a few minutes he had delivered another baby girl.
"No, no, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern.
..it seems there's yet another one coming!"
cried the doctor. The redneck scratched his head in
bewilderment, and asked the doctor,
"You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Take Your Lunch in a Cloth Tote Bag
To save paper and money, I take my lunch to work every
day in a cloth tote bag that I bought at the Dollar Store.
It is about 10x10 inch square and has a nice handle.
When I come home, I just put my lunch bag in the fridge
so I can find it fast in the morning. I never run out of
paper bags, I save money, and it's a good way to
reduce waste.
By Laurie from Portland, OR
You can step that up to deluxe, if you
put a bubble-wrap lined padded manila envelope with
re-sealable flap into it. If you have to fly, you just slide
the envelope into your laptop or brief-case, and avoid those
horendously overpriced stale airline sandwiches, that you
can buy nowadays instead of the free meal you used to get.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A pastor was giving a lesson to a group of children on the 23rd
Psalm. He noticed that one of the little boys seemed disquieted
by the phrase
"Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my
life..."
"What's wrong with that, Johnny?" the pastor asked.
"Well," answered Johnny, "I understand about having goodness
and mercy folowing me around.
But I don't want Shirley following me around all the time. She's a
gossip and a spoilsport!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
.
If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked |
The average income of the modern teenager is about 2 a.m.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the
Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
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