Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, August 23, 2010
The wind changed and blew the smoke over the Rockies back to
BC, and a quick five minute rain washed the air. Yeah, I stood
out in the rain, and waved to neighbors, who were doing the same.
The clean, fresh air sure smelled nice!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Few things are more satisfying than seeing your
children have teenagers of their own.
--- Doug Larson

If you want to recapture your youth,
just cut off his allowance.
--- Al Bernstein


A father, who worked away from home all week, always
made a special effort with his family at the weekends.
Every Sunday morning he would take his 7 year old
daughter out for a drive in the car.

One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold that
he really didn't feel like driving at all. Luckily,
his wife came to the rescue and decided that for this
Sunday she would take their daughter out. They
returned just before lunch and the little girl ran
upstairs to see her father.

"Well" the father asked, "did you enjoy your ride with
Mommy?"

"Oh yes Daddy" the girl replied, "and do you know
what.......we didn't see a single bastid or
dingbat, 'cause Mommy was doing the dingbat stuff
herself and scared them all away!"


A Texan is bragging to a Rhode Islander. "In Texas,"
he drawls, "you can get on a train, ride all day long,
and still be in Texas by nightfall."

"Well", replies the Yankee, "We have some rather slow
trains in Rhode Island too, but none that are THAT slow."


Food for Wealth
learn how to grow organic food with less than
8 hours work a year. This is a breakthrough 
method to counter food risks and rising costs.

You don't need a big garden or lots of time,
if you do it right.

You can NOW! download the book,
get better food and stop wasting money!

Food for Wealth


Thanks to Ann for this story:
In his younger days our golden retriever Catcher often
ran away when he had the chance.  His veterinarian's
office was about a mile down the road, and Catcher
would usually go there.  The office staff knew him and
would call me to come pick him up.

One day I called the vet to make an appointment for
Catcher's yearly vaccine.

"Will you bring him," asked the receptionist, "or should
we just nail him the next time he comes by?"



From Jennifer P.

We have checks ready to send you for offering us your honest opinion 
on various online surveys that only take a few minutes to complete. 
So if you're interested in earning a nice extra income each month 
for just giving your opinion on various surveys then press here to begin.



We can only accept a few more people, but we will accept you if you're 
interested...and we hope you are!
Thank you,

Jennifer P.

PSC Representative since 1998



A little girl and her mother were out and about. The
girl, out of the blue, asked her mother,
"Mommy, How old are you?"

The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about
their age. You'll learn this as you get older."

The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?"

Her mother responded again, "That's another thing
women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you
grow up."

The girl still wanting to know about her mother, then
fires off another question, "Mommy, Why did you and
daddy get divorced?"

The mother, a little annoyed by the questions,
responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me
very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."

The little girl, frustrated, sulks until she is
dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consults
with her girlfriend about her and her mother's
conversation. The girlfriend says, "All you have to do
is sneak and look at your mother's driver's license.
It's just a like a report card from school. It tells
you everything."

Later, the little girl and her mother are out and
about again. The little girl starts off with, "Mommy,
Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are.
You're 32 years old."

The mother is very shocked. She asks, "Sweetheart, how
do you know that?"

The little girl shrugs and says, "I just know. And I
know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds."

"Where did you learn that?"
The little girl says, "I just know. And I know why you
and daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex."


Thanks to Sandie for this picture:


Click on the picture for the Large Version
Enigmatic Cloud

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
and goes to Diana Ahlen, 34,in Chemnitz, Germany
A MUM has been arrested after taking her five-year-old 
daughter on a bank robbery.

Diana Ahlen, 34, held up a branch of the Sparkasse bank in the 
eastern city of Chemnitz, Germany, yesterday, armed with a 
bread knife.

In her other hand she clutched her little girl.

She demanded several thousand euros from a female cashier 
who managed to trigger a silent alarm linked to two police 
stations just 500 yards away.

Armed cops surrounded the bank in the city's Hainstrasse 
within five minutes.

Police spokeswoman Jana Kindt said: "The police stormed 
the bank and the woman gave herself up immediately.

"She later said she resorted to a bank robbery because she 
was in dire financial straits."

Her daughter was sent home to her father.

The woman appeared before a judge in the afternoon,
and was bailed.

Incredibly she then set off to try to rob another bank.

Armed with another knife she tried the same procedure, 
and was arrested again within minutes.

This time she was denied bail.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Brigit
Re: Picture frames

Dear Webby,
I am continuously amazed and impressed by how much better
your newsletter is than all the other ones, except maybe 
Ophelia's, who seems to be copying your style like a very
good student.

I was reminded of that again this weekend, when my daughter
printed out a bunch of the large version pictures from the
Humor Letter, and wanted to pin them onto the wall in her room.
Those pictures are well worth framing! So we went to the gallery
down the street and checked. And left in an awful hurry.

I realize this is not a web or computer question, but do you
know of a way to get or make picture frames, that mere mortals
can afford?
Thanks
Brigit

Dear Brigit
Take those prints with you and go to the nearest Ikea store,
or check their on-line catalog. They have quite nice frames
in the $2 - $25 range. In the store they often have them with
very nice matting and some example filler print. There you
can choose which frame and matting will go best with each
picture. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Things only women understand:
Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and
challenges,
but eventually you find a hairstylist you like.

Brain cells come and brain cells go,
but fat cells live forever.

Amazing!  You just hang something in your closet
for a while and it shrinks two sizes.

Actually, some men have noticed that last one too!
Personally, I am lucky and really glad I bought that goofy
looking Fat Burning Furnace book before the economy went sour 
and I still had money. Now I can get back into pants that
had "shrunk" on me before I wore them out.

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Fancy Ice Cubes
For fun and a treat, how about some fancy ice cubes. They are 
pretty and a taste surprise when the ice melts in a beverage. 
You can use a raspberry, a portion of a peeled orange, lemon 
or lime wedge, a maraschino cherry, candied fruit, mint leaves 
and much more. The sky is the limit :-)

Fill an ice tray 1/3 full with water and then partially freeze. 
Add the fruit to the center of each cubicle, press slightly and 
freeze a bit longer (this way your choice will remain centered i
n the cube). Finish by filling the rest of the ice cubicles with 
water. Freeze completely and forget until time to use.

If you don't want to be this fancy but still want fun cubes, 
simply put a drop or two of food coloring in each ice cubicle 
and add water before freezing.

Oh, and if you just want a fun flavor, you can put a drop or 
two of your favorite food flavoring in each ice cubicle.

By Deeli from Richland, WA

http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


On a visit to Chicago, Jill was eager to visit a posh
department store about a dozen blocks from their
hotel. Her husband obligingly hailed a cab. They got
in and he told the driver, "My wife wants to go to
Neiman Marcus."

The cabby looked over his shoulder at us and said,
"And the gentleman?  Does he want to go to the bank
or the pawn shop?"



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun 
for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.


Mary and her new boyfriend were at her son's
volleyball game when she noticed an adult couple in
the bleachers.  They were being VERY affectionate.
She was running her hands all over him and nibbling on
his ear.  He had a hand on her chest.

Mary said to her boyfriend, "I don't know whether
to watch them or the game."

He said, "Watch THEM!  You already KNOW how to play
volleyball."





 »  Funny Felines

[ add comment ]   |  permalink  |   ( 2.7 / 33 )

---

How to get midi files to play 

Sunday, August 22, 2010, 05:38 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, August 22, 2010

It's still smoky from the 250+ forest fires in BC, and the 
smoke wafting over the top of the Rockies. Visibility has
improved to almost ten miles, but the camp fire smell is 
still as strong as it has been for almost a week.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Wear the old coat and buy the new book.
--- Austin Phelps

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.
--- Scottish Proverb

Bachelors know more about women than married men; 
if they didn't, they'd be married too.
--- H. L. Mencken

Success is getting what you want.
Happiness is liking what you get.
--- Socratex


Our business professor was lecturing about different
ways to bill customers. He asked, "Who can give me an
example of a system where you are billed before you
actually receive your goods?"

One student piped up, "Tuition!"


Food for Wealth
learn how to grow organic food with less than
8 hours work a year. This is a breakthrough method
to counter food risks and rising costs.
You don't need a big garden or lots of time,
if you get it right.
You can NOW! download the book,
get better food and stop spending money 
on poor quality food!
Food for Wealth


The teacher asked  if he knows his
numbers. He said, "Yes, I do. My father taught me."
"Good. What comes after three?" asked the teacher.
"Four," says .
"What comes after six?"
"Seven."
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good
job. What comes after ten?"
 smiles and says, "A jack."



From Jennifer P.

We have checks ready to send you for offering us your honest opinion 
on various online surveys that only take a few minutes to complete. 
So if you're interested in earning a nice extra income each month 
for just giving your opinion on various surveys then press here to begin.



We can only accept a few more people, but we will accept you if you're 
interested...and we hope you are!
Thank you,

Jennifer P.

PSC Representative since 1998



A perfectionist teacher demands the very best of all
of her pupils. So it is only to be expected that she
would get furious when one little fellow hands in a
sloppily done homework paper.

"This is the worst essay it has been my misfortune to
read," the woman says through clenched teeth. "It has
so many mistakes. I can't understand how one person
could have made all these mistakes."
"It wasn't just one person," the boy replies defensively.
"My dad helped me."


Thanks to Cookie for this picture:


Click on the picture for the Large Version
Bucket Seat

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
and goes to 
Pa. man admitted dropped heroin was his
KIMBERTON, Pa. (AP) - A southeastern Pennsylvania man faces 
drug charges after police said he admitted the heroin discovered 
on the floor of a bank belonged to him. East Pikeland Township 
police said 25-year-old Justin Carbone, of Phoenixville, 
accidentally dropped the drugs inside a Kimberton credit 
union earlier this week.

Police used the check Carbone cashed to track him down 
shortly after bank personnel discovered the drugs. When an 
officer pulled up to Carbone and asked him if he'd lost anything 
in the bank, police said he replied "two bags of heroin."

Carbone was released Monday on $10,000 unsecured bail and 
was due in court again next month.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Annette
Re: Midi files not playing

Dear Webby,
thanks for the wonderful news letter every day, look forward 
to it every morning!. I have a problem maybe you will help 
me with. I have lost the sound to my midis on this computer, 
when I send a midi with my emails , the person I send it to 
can hear the music, but I cant. Where do I go on here to 
get my sound on this computer, I have a Vista, Home Basic. 
Thanks for all you do every day, 
Kindest regards, 
Annette.

Dear Annette
Try this:
Update the Windows Media Player.
Then open a File Explorer (Right-click START, select Explore)
Tools
Folder Options
File Types

Scoot down to MID (Midi Files)
and associate that type with Windows Media Player.

OK your way out of there, and find a midi file with the 
file explorer.
Right-click the midi file
select OPEN WITH
highlight Windows Media Player
put a checkmark on "Always use this program for this type of file"
Hit OK.

If the sound is not muted or turned down,
and the speakers plugged in and turned on, then you should 
hear the midi file now.
Have FUN!
DearWebby


A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an
eternity; looking up, looking down, measuring the
distance, figuring the wind direction and speed.
Driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated
partner says,
"What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"

The guy answers, "My wife and her mother are up there 
watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a 
perfect shot."

"Forget it, man! The way YOU play, you don't stand 
a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here!"

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Rent a Cottage for a Summer Vacation
For my family's summer vacation, we rented a cottage for a 
week and truly enjoyed the solitude. Who could ask for better 
than getting up to fresh coffee while enjoying the sounds of 
birds singing and the site of a beautiful lake off the balcony. 
It is one week in my year that I did not have to worry about 
laundry, housework, work, or any number of other things I 
do regularly at home.

By Karyn01 from Ottawa, Canada

http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


Jeff goes in to see the manager. "I have to have a
raise, boss," the man says. "There are three other
companies after me."

"Is that so?" the manager says. "What companies are
after you?"

"The electric company, the telephone company and the
gas company."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun 
for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.


An American teacher asked one of her pupils,
"What's the nation's capital?"
The reply was, "Washington DC."
On being asked what the 'DC' stood for, the pupil
answered, "Dot com!"





 »  Vintage Photos

[ add comment ]   |  permalink  |   ( 3.1 / 27 )

---

Mail problems at Juno and Netzero 

Saturday, August 21, 2010, 06:34 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, August 21, 2010

Juno and Netzero seem to have annoyed a lot of people. This week
I got bounces from about a hundred subscribers with Juno and 
about the same with Netzero addresses, all with "Service unavailable".

I can understand one or two people dying, and don't continue
sending subscriptions to dead addresses, but a hundred each in
a week, that might indicate that the service at Juno and Netzero
has gotten so bad, that a lot of people smartend up and moved
to a better ISP.

If you have a friend or relative with a Juno or Netzero address,
it would be a good idea to contact them some other way and get
their new or alternate address. Since the service at Juno and 
Netzero has been deteriorating for quite some time, most of
them do have a Gmail address on the side for important mail.

Don't write Mom off just yet! Give her a call and get her 
new email address.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


A committee can make a decision that is dumber 
than any of its members.
--- David Coblitz


Apparently the reason England has not joined the rest
of Europe in adopting the Euro as the common European
currency is that they are worried that in the quaint
way they talk in England,"spending a pound" would be
changed to "Euronating".


Food for Wealth
learn how to grow organic food with less than
8 hours work a year. This is a breakthrough method
to counter food risks and rising costs.
You don't need a big garden or lots of time,
if you get it right.
You can NOW! download the book,
get better food and stop spending money on poor quality food!
Food for Wealth


When a guy's printer began to grow faint, he called a
local repair shop where a friendly man informed him
that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.
Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he
told him he might be better off reading the printer's
manual and trying the job himself.

Pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, "Does
your boss know that you discourage business?"

"Actually, it is my boss's idea," the employee replied
sheepishly. "We usually make a LOT more money on
repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves
first."


Dwayne's ad got me 7 cups of coffee. 
Thanks to the seven, who checked it out!

Maybe this one will get me a loaf of bread?

Unlike with Dwayne's info, with this you probably don't have 
to worry about getting into a high tax bracket and messing up
your fixed income. It seems to be a much more relaxed way of
making some extra money.


From Jennifer P.

We have checks ready to send you for offering us your honest opinion 
on various online surveys that only take a few minutes to complete. 
So if you're interested in earning a nice extra income each month 
for just giving your opinion on various surveys then press here to begin.



We can only accept a few more people, but we will accept you if you're 
interested...and we hope you are!
Thank you,

Jennifer P.

PSC Representative since 1998



Here are a few tips that WILL make the difference between
surveys being profitable fun versus a time wasting nuisance:

1) Get some disposable addresses, because if you are good, then
   you will probably get swamped with too many survey requests.
   Even if you funnel those addresses to your main address, 
   that will make it easier to filter them to a separate folder, 
   or the trash when you go on vacation.

2) Get the free RoboForm from the left side menu
   to automate filling in your profile on those surveys that
   require that. 
   
3) Keep a log of which surveys you filled out, and check
   your PayPal once a month against that log, to find out which
   ones are paying the most. Focus on those, and ignore the ones,
   that are just handing out the occasional coupon.
   
4) Be realistic! The survey racket is not like Dwayne's info for
   skipping up a few tax brackets, but simply supplemental
   spare time income.
Have FUN!
DearWebby   


Two city swingers were walking in the country when
one of them spotted a bug walking across the road.
"What kind of bug is that?" he asked his companion.
The companion leaned over and looked at the bug. "It's
a Lady bug."
The first man looked at the bug again, then at his
friend, and said:  "Man, you sure got good eyes."


Thanks to Sandie for this picture:


Click on the picture for the Large Version
Young Green Heron

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
and goes to Derick A. Reedy, 22, in Kingsport, Tennessee

Con Artist caught
The Tennessee man was arrested yesterday for a harebrained 
scheme to defraud a Chili's. According to a Kingsport Police 
Department report, Reedy admitted fabricating a story that two 
Chili’s workers were “talking sexually about sex and dildos” 
while he and his wife were eating.

Reedy, 22, allegedly did this in a bid to extract a refund 
for the meal (which he never actually had). While a Chili’s 
manager did not part with cash, he did give Reedy $70 
in gift certificates. Subsequently, the manager called 
cops after he “discovered that the suspect attempted 
this at several other businesses.”

Confronted by police, Reedy “admitted he lied about 
the incident in an attempt to obtain money or compensation.” 
Reedy was charged with fraud, false pretense or swindling 
and transported to the Kingsport city jail.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Michael
Re: Outlook Limitations

Dear Webby,
For those of us with brain-dead email readers like Outlook 2007, 
who would like to contribute to keep your humor letter coming, 
but for who the PayPal link does not work (though all the rest of 
the links in your newsletter work just fine), can we send 
contributions to humor@webby.com via PayPal?
Aloha,
Michael

Dear Michael
Yes, sure that works, 
or you can go to the online copy at http://webby.com/humor
or, as you suggested, send money to humor@webby.com

Thank you very much!
Have FUN!
DearWebby


A missionary heard about a native who had five wives.
He paid a visit to the native's hut, and sure enough
there were five wives.
The two men sat outside the hut and talked.
The missionery said "You are violating a law of God.
Man can only have one wife, so you must go and tell
four of those women that they can no longer live here
or consider you their husband."

The native thought a few moments, then said, "I'll wait
here. You tell 'em."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Pot Holders Under Plants to Protect Furniture
Use pot holders under plants to protect your furniture. 
I use the ones with the rubber side. I try to get a pot holder 
the size of the planter. Sit the plant on the cloth side and 
put the rubber side next to the furniture. It will absorb 
any leaks or spills and not go through on the furniture.

By Wanda S. from Climax, NC

http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, "We've
got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily
newspapers every morning."

Her husband replied, "Well, lots of dogs can do that."

The wife responded, "But we've never subscribed to any
papers!"



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun 
for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.


a] The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer
heart attacks than the British or Americans.

 On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and
also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or
Americans.

[c] Conclusion: Eat what you like. It's speaking
English that kills you.

That reminds me.....

Because of the anti-smoking propaganda and restrictive
laws, the percentage of the population that smokes has
decreased. Now, if there was any relation between
smoking and cancer, the percentage of people who get
cancer should theoretically have decreased at exactly
the same rate.

It didn't. It INCREASED!

OK, so what HAS increased at the same rate as cancer ?
Taxes on tobacco products.
Kinda makes you think, eh ?





 »  Mythical Creatures

A little boy runs up to his mother and shouts, "Mommy!
Mommy!  I want to be a drummer when I grow up!"

The mother sweetly replies, "You can't do BOTH."

[ add comment ]   |  permalink  |   ( 3 / 19 )

---

Is 10" big enough? 

Friday, August 20, 2010, 05:08 AM

   
Good Morning,  !

It's Friday, August 20, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

The principal mark of genius is not perfection
but originality, the opening of new frontiers.
--- Arthur Koestler

"You don't get to choose how you're going to die.
Or when.
You can only decide how you're going to live.  Now."
--- Joan Baez


A New Yorker was being shown around the back country
of Louisiana by his cousin. "Is it true that an
alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?"
he asked.

The cousin smirked, "Depends on how fast ya carry it."


Food for Wealth
learn how to grow organic food with less than
8 hours work a year. This is a breakthrough method
to counter food risks and rising costs.
You don't need a big garden or lots of time,
if you get it right.
You can download the book right NOW!
Food for Wealth


Nancy doesn't go to church much anymore.
She joined the Seventh Day Absentists.

That seems to be a very popuar religion these days!


From Dwayne, the Work At Home Coach
Free for a very limited time. 
If you snooze and loose, don't cry on me. 

The ad is safe. No virus or malware will attack you.
It forwards through a perfectly harmless click counter. 
That is nothing to worry about, even if a child-safe setting
on your browser freaks out. 


Here's the deal, TODAY I'm giving away something, that makes me 
$136,808 per month....It probably won't make you $136,808 
every month, but it makes ME that much, and you would be CRAZY 
to not let me give it to you...and yes, it's legal !

I can give it to you today for FREE


Thank you so much for your time!

Dwayne

  By the way, that is not a $250 ad,   
  not even a $10 for subscribers only ad. But if you subscribe   
  to Dwayne's newsletter, even without ever buying anything,   
  and even if you unsubscribe next week,    
  then they pay me for a small, plain black coffee.   
  These days that really helps!  
  Thanks  
  DearWebby  


While my son was on board the Navy carrier USS GEORGE
WASHINGTON, the air wing was busy with training
missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic
controller accidentally left his microphone on and
remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just
like Elmer Fudd."

The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened,
realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment.
After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence
by announcing, "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We awe
hunting submawenes."


Thanks to Sandie for this picture:


Click on the picture for the Large Version
Havasu Falls

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
and goes to Kevin Crockett, 25, in Cincinnatti

Bank robber drops wallet
CINCINNATI, Aug. 18 (UPI) -- A Cincinnati bank robber allegedly 
ran away so fast he dropped his wallet, stained from an 
exploding dye pack inside a stolen bag of money, police say.

Kevin Crockett, 25, and an accomplice allegedly stole an 
undetermined amount of money July 29 from Key Bank before 
dropping the loot -- along with his wallet -- and fleeing the 
scene before officers could respond, The Kentucky Post 
reported Wednesday.

Police say they found the money bag and Crockett's wallet 
on the sidewalk. Both had been stained from an exploding 
dye pack a teller had inserted into bag, The Cincinnati Enquirer said.

Police arrested Crockett Tuesday. He was arraigned Wednesday, 
charged with one count of robbery and given $75,000 bond, 
WLWT-TV, Cincinnati, reported.

Crockett was released from prison in 2007, having served time on 
a bank robbery conviction.

An accomplice remained at large, police said.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Amanda
Re: Is 10 inch big enough?

Dear Webby
A cousin wants to sell his 10" notebook to my daughter to use
at college. He claims it is wide screen and plenty good enough,
and that young girls have no problem reading small stuff.
Somehow I have some doubts, partly because of who he is,
so I want to ask you. Is a 10" wide screen good enough for
college and worth $300?
Amanda

Dear Amanda
The answers are NO, and NO.
That 10" wide screen monitor is only 600 dots high. Even using
the tiniest font and a hand held magnifying glass, it is simply not
good enough for what they do in college nowadays.

For $300 she can buy a very good used 15" laptop that will
be just fine for college.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


The late night news used to broadcast this message:
"It's 11 o'clock. Do you know where your children are?

In Canada they say:
"It's 11 o'clock. Do you kow where the beer is?"

In England they say:
"Its 11 o'clock. Do you know where your wife is?

In France they say "It's 11o'clock. Do you know where
your husband is?"

In California they say:" Its 11 o'clock do you know
how high you are?"

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Pot Holders Under Plants to Protect Furniture
Use pot holders under plants to protect your furniture. 
I use the ones with the rubber side. I try to get a pot holder 
the size of the planter. Sit the plant on the cloth side and 
put the rubber side next to the furniture. It will absorb 
any leaks or spills and not go through on the furniture.

By Wanda S. from Climax, NC

http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


The plane was only half-full. When an attractive young
woman asked if the seat next to mine was free, my male
ego soared. Soon we were chatting pleasantly, and she
told me it was her first flight.

"Mom said to sit next to someone I thought I could
trust," she confessed nervously. "And you look just
like my grandpa."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun 
for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.


When Lisa noticed a broken vise grip in the trash can,
she decided to buy her husband a new one for his
birthday. She went to the hardware store and asked the
salesman, "Do you have any heavy-duty vise grips?"

"Sorry, ma'am," he replied. "I had to give them all up when
I got married."





 »  Pencil Tip Sculptures

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Web of Trust false warnings 

Thursday, August 19, 2010, 04:58 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, August 19, 2010

The task ahead of us is never as great
as the power behind us.
--- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and
astonish the rest."
--- Mark Twain

"It is better to give than receive...especially advice."
-- Mark Twain


You can compress the diameter of a rolled up sleeping
bag by running over it with your car. Tempting as it may be
to "just-do-it", it IS considered good manners to tell your
mother-in-law to get out of her sleeping bag before
that procedure.


Food for Wealth
learn how to grow organic food with less than
8 hours work a year. This is a breakthrough method
to counter food risks and rising costs.
You don't need a big garden or lots of time,
if you get it right.
You can download the book right NOW!
Food for Wealth


There is this American tourist on a trip around
Ireland. When the tour arrives at Belfast he decides
to go for a stroll with the aim of taking in this
new culture.  After he's been walking for a while
someone rushes up behind him and sticks a gun in his
back.

The person says to the tourist, "What are you,
Catholic or Protestant?"

The American thinks to himself "Great -- if I say
I'm Catholic, this guy is sure to be Protestant.
If I say I'm Protestant, he's sure to be Catholic.
Either way I'm dead."  Then he has a brain wave
and says to the guy, "Actually I'm Jewish."  This,
he thinks to himself, will surely keep him safe.

The guy behind him then replies, "Gee, I must be
the luckiest Arab in Ireland."


From Dwayne, the Work At Home Coach
Free for a very limited time. 
If you snooze and loose, don't cry on me. 

The ad is safe. No virus or malware will attack you.
It forwards through a perfectly harmless click counter. 
That is nothing to worry about, even if a child-safe setting
on your browser freaks out. 


Here's the deal, TODAY I'm giving away something, that makes me 
$136,808 per month....It probably won't make you $136,808 
every month, but it makes ME that much, and you would be CRAZY 
to not let me give it to you...and yes, it's legal !

I can give it to you today for FREE


Thank you so much for your time!

Dwayne



Charlie was a regular visitor at the racetrack.
One afternoon he noticed an unusual site.
Right before the first race, a Catholic Priest
visited one of the horses in the stable area
and gave it a blessing. Charlie watched the
horse race very carefully, and, sure enough,
the blessed horse came in first!

Charlie followed the Priest before the next race.
Again, the Priest went to the stables and blessed
another horse.  Charlie quickly put two dollars
on that horse and won close to fifty bucks!

The Priest kept blessing horses and Charlie
kept betting on them and they won!

The last race of the day was the biggest and
Charlie saw the Priest with that horse, also!
He quickly went to his bank and withdrew his
life's savings of $20,000, went back to the
racetrack and put it all on that horse!  He
watched the race in certain anticipation of
leaving a millionaire!  The horse was last to
cross the line and Charlie was dead broke!

He couldn't believe what happened so he went
looking for the Priest. He found the man and
asked, "What happened to that last horse you
blessed?  Because your blessing didn't work,
I've lost all of my money!"

The Priest said, "That's the trouble with you
Protestants.  You can't tell the difference
between a blessing and the Last Rites!"




Click on the picture for the Large Version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
and goes to Duane Bush, 61, in Bethany, NY

DWI suspect drove 11 miles with missing tire
BETHANY, N.Y. (AP) - Authorities said a western New York man 
whose license expired 33 years ago has been charged with 
driving while intoxicated after police said he drove a van 11 
miles without one of its tires. The Genesee County Sheriff's 
Office said another motorist reported seeing a tire falling off 
a van weaving on a road in Bethany late Monday night.

Deputies later arrested 61-year-old Duane Bush at his home in 
Bethany, 32 miles southwest of Rochester. Deputies said the 
van traveled 11 miles through the rural town without a rear right tire.

Bush was charged with aggravated DWI and unlicensed operation 
of a motor vehicle. Deputies said his blood-alcohol level was 
more than three times above the legal limit of .08 percent.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Bob
Re: WOB

Dear Webby
Mozilla has WOB (web of trust) that rates sites in a number of 
ways. Dwayne's ad of $136808 per month rates very poor with 
warnings against going to this site.  Do you check the honesty 
of the ads you place?
Bob

Dear Bob
Read the ad.
It's all about FREE stuff. 
Good and valuable information. 

That silly WOB program just sees a dollar sign and numbers, 
and jumps to wacky confusions.
Don't use crap like that as a substitute for thinking!

Of course there is going to be money mentioned when you
go to learn about making money. If you have some religious
reasons against money, or worries, that a few thousand bucks
a month would mess with your pension, then don't go there.

However, if somebody is interested in making some extra cash,
then the free information at that link is a good place to start.
If they want to go further and spend five bucks, AFTER they
have read the free information, that is entirely up to them.

By then, they will be able to make an informed choice 
THEMSELVES, not have their future decided for them by some 
wacky dogooder program.

Some of those silly dogooder programs even put up warnings
if a link goes through a counter, indicating that somebody 
might make a few cents per 1000 clicks. That could be helping 
somebody pay their bills and that might be against your religion, 
even though it does not cost you anything.

That kind of paranoia doesn't get you anywhere. 
And if everybody thought that way, the Hunger Site and the
Breast Cancer support site would have to shut down.

With Dwayne's site, if you subscribe to his free newsletter,
without spending a single penny of your money, I get a few
in a month. Since I don't have a fixed income or salary, every
penny helps in this currently messed up economy. So, if you
DO get a chance to help me out without having to spend any 
money, please do! I appreciate it!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


A robber went to the bank and pointed a gun on the
cashier and said, "Give me all your money, or you'll
be GEOGRAPHY!"
The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say
HISTORY."
The burglar answered, "Dangit, don't change the
*subject*!"

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Buy Flannel at Thrift Stores
This is the time of the year when the thrift stores have 
flannel sheets on sale for around a quarter. I just bought 
a couple more mismatched ones to sew into flannel PJ 
bottoms and nightgowns. Buying flannel in the sheets is 
much cheaper than paying the $8 a yard or more at Walmart!

By Mom-from-missouri from NW Missouri

http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer,
"No, ma'am, we haven't had any for quite some time now,
and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any more."

Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over
to the customer who was walking out the door and said,
"That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some
soon. In fact, I personally placed an order for them
just a couple of days ago."

Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled,
"Never, never, never, never say we don't have something.
If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its
way.  Now, what was it she asked if we had any?"

"Muggers in the parking lot"



Ophelia Dingbatter's News

No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun 
for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.


During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed
dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the
curb. When Bubba asked why he had been stopped, the
officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat
beside him.

"Does your dog have a license?" he asked.

"No way," Bubba said, "Ol' Blue don't need none.
He's getting too shortsighted fer doin' the drivin'."





 »  Rocky Mtn. Butterflies

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