Democracy - Always Temporary

"A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government.

"A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury.

"From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.

"The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence:

1. From bondage to spiritual faith;
2. From spiritual faith to great courage;
3. From courage to liberty;
4. From liberty to abundance;
5. From abundance to complacency;
6. From complacency to apathy;
7. From apathy to dependence;
8. From dependence back into bondage

Alexander Tyler
Tweet



[ view entry ] ( 325 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 659 )

   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, May 21
The Monday closest to my birthday is a Stat Holiday in Canada.
No day off for me and other self-employed people, though.
That's the benefit of being self-employed, you get to work
every day.

My raspberries are greening up nicely, and so is the Maggi
bush by the wheelie bin.


The silvey pipe you see near the left side, that is the exhaust
from the fridge & freezer. Instead of heating up the kitchen
all summer, the waste hot air produced by the fridge & freezer
goes outside. Only in winter does the hot air go into the 
kitchen.

The saskatoon berries finally started to bloom.
Here are the first blossoms:


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
0143 Earliest recorded date in America-pre Mayan king 
Harvest-Bergvorst installed 
1502 Portuguese Admiral Da Nova discovers St Helena 
1804 Lewis & Clark Expedition begins
1840 New Zealand became a British colony 
1846 1st steamship arrives in Hawaii 
1871 French regular troops attack Commune of Paris; 17,000 die 
1908 1st horror movie (Dr Jekyll & Mr Hyde) premieres in Chicago
1916 Britain begins "Summer Time" (Daylight Savings Time) 
1925 Canadians allow beer sales 
1941 1st US ship sunk by a U-boat (SS Robin Moore) 
1950 Vietnamese troops of Ho Chi-Minh attack Cambodia
1956 US explodes 1st airborne hydrogen bomb over Bikini Atoll 
1964 1st nuclear-powered lighthouse (Chesapeake Bay) 
1968 US nuclear-powered sub (Scorpion), with 99 men, missing & 
is later found at the bottom of the ocean off Azores
1970 National Guard mobilized to quell disturbances at Ohio State U
1971 National Guard mobilized to quell riot in Chattanooga TN 
1982 British troops land on Falkland Islands
nothing notable happened on this day between 1982  and 2012
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



It is good to be without vices, 
but it is not good to be without temptations.
--- Walter Bagehot

Those who agree with us may not be right, 
but we admire their astuteness.
--- Cullen Hightower

Don't part with your illusions. 
When they are gone you may still exist, 
but you have ceased to live.
--- Mark Twain


Need to fix a birth certificate?
Learn Photoshop in a Day!






A nice girl brings home her fiancé to meet her parents. 
After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about 
the young man. He invites the fiancé to his study for a chat.  
"So, what are your plans?" the father asks the fiancé. 

"I am a Biblical scholar," he replies. 

"A Biblical scholar. Admirable, but what will you do to 
provide a nice home for my daughter to live in, as she's 
accustomed to?" 

"I will study," the young man replies, 
"and God will provide for us." 

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, 
such as she deserves?" 

"I will concentrate on my studies, God will provide for us." 

"And children? How will you support children?" 

"Don't worry, sir, God will provide." 

The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the 
father questions, the fiancé insists that God will provide. 

Later, the mother asks, "So? How did it go?" 

"He has no job and no plans, but he thinks I'm God." 



If you just want to sharpen, darken, lighten or 
annotate a photo, Imagic will let you do it 
easily, without studying for hours.



Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable.  No matter how
legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling my boss thinks I'm
lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because
the truth was just too darned humiliating.  I simply mentioned that I
had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in
the next day.  By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to
explain the bandage on the top of my head.

The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's
wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.  Initially, the new acquisition
was no problem.

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard
my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.  "Honey! The garbage
disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower
pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"

"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"

There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a
second."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent
outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her
behavior as extremely cowardly.

Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to
find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my
circumstances.  No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its
gnashing metal teeth.

It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects
she spied hanging between my legs.  She had been poised around the
corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink.

And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at
the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like
claws.

I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements,
blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a
kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or
flight" syndrome.  Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight"
option.  I know this from experience.  I was fleeing straight up into
the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my
ascent.  The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me.

Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself
lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of
"been-there, done-that" paramedics.

Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were
all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while
trying to suppress their hysterical laughter and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all.  A few days later I finally made it
back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation
out of me about my head injury.

I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it
was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"

If they only knew!





Click on the picture for the large version
Get out of the way!
Grampa Has Got The Whip!

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Jonathon Rodriguez, 28 in San Antonio, Texas

Charged With Running Over Girlfriend Because 
She Wanted To Break Up With Him

Jonathon Rodriguez, a 28-year-old Texas "man" was jailed 
Saturday after he allegedly ran his girlfriend down with an 
automobile after she broke up with him.

According to police, Rodriguez became angry when his girlfriend 
announced that she was breaking off her relationship with him.

Investigators say Rodriguez retaliated by cursing and yelling 
at the woman. When that didn't change her mind, he allegedly 
hopped into a car, punched the gas and ran her over as she 
walked along a sidewalk.

Rodriguez showed his undying love for the woman by fleeing 
the scene as she lay injured. The woman was taken to a local 
hospital where she was treated for a broken leg and other 
injuries.

Although the assault took place on April 7, Rodriguez remained
 a fugitive until his arrest Saturday.

He was booked into jail and charged with aggravated assault
 with a deadly weapon. His bail has been set at $80,000.


Tech Support Pits:
 The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
From:Dianne
RE: How do I stop Windows updates?

Dear Webby
How do I stop Windows updates?
This weeks updates messed up more stuff than I can fix on my
own. And the NOT asked for updates to my bought and paid for 
Microslop Office demanded, that I go rummage in the attic for 
the CD and serial number! I PAID for it, they have no right to
hassle me about it.
How can I turn off their silly updates?
Dianne

Dear Dianne
You are not the only one, who is unhappy with the last
batch of bug fixes. Replacing the old bugs with new bugs
seem to have slowed down Windows, and somehow made 
Skype a bit fragile. Hopefully there will be a fix soon for 
what they did on Tuesday.

The last Windows that did not need bug fixes was 3.1
Since Windows 95 there have been bug fixes.
The procedure to stop them is rarely the same between one
version and the next. However, usually you can try this:
Start
Control Panel
Windows Updates

In there, take off checkmarks off anything, that you think
is good enough and should not be messed with.

When there is a really necessary security update, there will
be news about it on the net. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


AD #2


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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!





Woman on cell phone at mall parking lot:
"Hello, psychic hotline?  Where did I park my car?"

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Use Kitty Litter Bucket for Kitchen Compost

I always wanted to compost, a kitchen composter was easiest 
to start with but expensive. I noticed our kitty litter container
 (hard plastic) was a perfect size and has a lid and handle.
 It fits under the sink and has been working great.

By krisanthemum from Pataskala, OH

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than 
just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then 
you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



France's worst air disaster occurred today when a small 
two-seater Cessna crashed into a cemetery early this 
morning. French search and rescue workers have recovered 
826 bodies so far, and expect that the number will climb as 
the digging continues into the night. 

The pilot and passenger were only slightly injured and after
on some minor first aid were able to help the rescuers with
the digging.




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Neville the Aborigine had been out of work for a long
time, and when he was offered the job at the council
as a garbage collector he decided to take it up. On
his first day things were going great until he arrived
at one house and noticed there was no wheelie bin out
the front. Neville thought to himself,
"I wanna do a good job and not get fired from here but
if they find out I missed one house then I will get
fired."
So he went up to the door and knocked on it. To his
surprise it was a fellow Aborigine who answered.
Neville breathed a sigh of relief and said to the
other bloke, "Where's ya bin?"
The man replied, "I bin on 'olidays,"
Neville then said, "Na, maite, where's ya BIN?"
"I bin on 'olidays I tell ya," was the reply.
Neville, slightly frustrated, says, "Na, ya blimey
idiot. Where's ya Wheelie Bin?"
The other bloke looked round to see who might be
listening. "Well," he said. "I weally bin in jail but
I'm tellin' everyone I bin on 'olidays, aiy!"



   »  Soda Lime (Who Knew)

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---

How to change the sounds in Windows 7 ? 

Sunday, May 20, 2012, 09:49 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, May 20

It looks like Obama is admitting, that he has no clue about
what is going on in Afghanistan, and wants to pull out the 
troops. Well, most of us realized that, when he fired 
General McCrystal for trying to confuse him with facts.

There is no point in trying to deal with Karzai, as long as
he acts like an erratic crack addict, or with the provincial
governors, who make Billions each year with the opium and
heroin trade. WWII was not won by negotiating with an
erratic and insane Hitler. It was won by blockading Germany,
bombing the towns and scaring the crap out of the civilians,
and above all, by having a loyal and motivated home front.

The only strategy, that would actually work in Afghanistan, 
is to pull the troops to the borders, and really block the 
dope trade. Sure, Pakistan and Iran would get into a snit 
about that, but aren't they already anyway?

A fringe benefit would be learning the skills needed to seal
the southern border, or at least slow down illegal  traffic.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1506 Christopher Columbus died in Spain.
1861 North Carolina voted to secede from the Union.
1927 Charles Lindbergh began the first solo nonstop transatlantic flight, 
departing from Long Island aboard the Spirit of Saint Louis.
1932 Amelia Earhart took off from Newfoundland to become the first 
woman to fly solo across the Atlantic.
1961 A mob attacked a busload of "freedom riders" in Montgomery, Ala., 
setting the bus on fire.
1978 Mavis Hutchinson, 53, became the first woman to run across America. 
The 3,000-mile trek took her 69 days. She ran an average of 
45 miles each day.
1996 In a 6-3 vote, the Supreme Court rejected a Colorado measure 
banning laws that protect homosexuals from discrimination.
2002 East Timor became the newest nation.
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to.
--- Elvis Presley

Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows.
--- David T. Wolf

What would men be without women?  
Scarce, sir .... mighty scarce.
--- Mark Twain


Need to fix a birth certificate?
Learn Photoshop in a Day!






A man goes to a doctor for a physical checkup.

The nurse starts with certain basic items.
"How much do you weigh?" she asks.

"One-seventy." he says.

The nurse puts him on the scale.

It turns out that his weight is 183.


The nurse asks, "Your height?"

"Five-eleven." he says.

The nurse checks and sees that he's only
5' 8 1/2".

She then takes his blood pressure, and it's
very high.

The man explains, "Of course it's high.  When
I came in here, I was tall and wiry. Now, I'm
short and fat!"



If you just want to sharpen, darken, lighten or 
annotate a photo, Imagic will let you do it 
easily, without studying for hours.



Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news. 
The good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.



Thanks to Said Reza for this picture:


Click on the picture for the large version
Sekera Bearch Sunset, Indonesia

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Jodi Rock, Tahlequah, OK

Burning Baby's Genitals With Hair-Straightening Iron

Jodi Rock, a 19-year-old Oklahoma woman has been jailed 
after she allegedly admitted to burning her baby's genitals 
with hair-straightening iron.

According to the Cherokee County Sheriff's Office, deputies 
were dispatched to Tahlequah City Hospital late last month 
after a 15-month-old baby arrived to the ER with various 
bone fractures and burns to his genitals.

Investigators say the baby suffered three serious burns to 
his groin area. The child also suffered bone fractures in 
both shoulders, his forearm and wrist.

The child's mother, identified as Jodi Rock, gave deputies 
several different stories as to how the child was injured.

When detectives questioned Rock a second time, she 
reportedly admitted to burning her baby with a 
hair-straightening iron by closing the iron around the 
child's genitals.

Rock also told investigators that she or her boyfriend
 "may" have injured the baby's arms by playing too 
rough with him.

Rock was booked into the Cherokee County Detention 
Center and charged with felony injury to a child. 
Her bond has been set at $200,000.


Tech Support Pits:
 The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
From: theoldprospector@
RE: How do I change Windows sounds?

how do I add sounds to the sound list already available 
for adding sounds to computer functions,such as delete,
log on etc. I have windows7 with ie9 browser.

Dear theoldprospector
First collect the sounds, that you want to use, 
in an easy to find location.
Then rename them with a recognizable and 
descriptive name, for example May2012-Delete.wav

Then click on START
Control Panel
Choose Appearance and Personalization
Change sound effects
Clicking on one of the program events and hit BROWSE
to go to your stored and ready sounds.
Select the sound that you want.
Do the same for all the other sounds, that you 
want to change.
Have FUN!
DearWebby


AD #2


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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!





A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the 
IRS Tax auditor, who had come to review his records.  
At one point the auditor exclaimed, 
"Mr. Carr, we feel it is a great privilege to be allowed 
to live and work in the USA.  As a citizen you have an 
obligation to pay taxes, and we expect you to eagerly 
pay them with a smile." 

"Thank goodness," returned Mr. Carr, with a giant grin 
on his face from ear to ear, "I thought you were going 
to want me to pay with money." 

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Preventing Wax Residue in Candle Holders

I used to have the kindest neighbor who I would visit often. 
She always had everything decorated so nicely, and she 
always had candles burning. She told me that she put a little 
bit of water in the bottom of the glass votive before putting 
her candle in to prevent the wax from sticking to glass votive 
and she was right!

Source: My older kind neighbor
By Beth from Fairfield, PA

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than 
just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then 
you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



The salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in the department 
store.  He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting
the comb through all sorts of torture and stress.

Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb 
completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a 
beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable' comb for
everyone to see and said,
"And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like
on the inside."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A survey on sexual habits was being carried out by a 
popular newspaper and one questioner stopped an 
elderly Italian gentleman in the street who was wearing 
a black suit and asked him how often he had sexual 
intercourse.

"Oh, about half a dozen times a year", said the gentleman. 
The questioner smiled.

"I thought you Italians were supposed to be more active
than that!" she said.

"We are," said the gentleman.
"But, I don't think half a dozen times a year is so bad 
for a seventy-two year old priest with no car."



   »  Sea Giants

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---

How to set up screensavers on Windows 7 

Saturday, May 19, 2012, 10:54 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, May 19

I have been looking for a source of modern history, but it
seems, history stopped with the Millenium change.
There are odd facts here and there, but no concise collection,
that I can find. If you know of a site with usable information,
please let me know!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1506 Columbus selects his son Diego as sole heir
1568 English queen Elizabeth I arrests Scottish queen Mary
1571 Manilla in the Phillipines founded
1585 Spain confisquates English ships
1588 Spanish Armada sets sail for Lisbon, bound to England
1635 France declares war on Spain
1796 Game protection law restricts encroachment on 
Indian hunting grounds 
1848 México gives Texas to US, ending the war 
1862 Homestead Act becomes law
1885 1st mass production of shoes (Matzeliger in Lynn MA) 
1896 1st auto (Benz) to arrive in Netherlands 
1939 Churchill signs British-Russian anti-Nazi pact 
1943 Churchill pledges England's full support to US against Japan
1951 UN begins counter offensive in Korea 
1958 US & Canada form North American Air Defense (NORAD) 
1967 US bombs Hanoi 
1971 USSR launches Mars 2, 1st spacecraft to land on Mars
1976 Gold ownership legalized in Australia 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you 
to despise the wealth that it prevents you from achieving.
--- Russell Green

Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way.
--- Jane Austen, Emma

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.
--- Augusten Burroughs

"I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party   
dressed as a goat." 
---Marcus Brigstocke   


Need to fix a birth certificate?
Learn Photoshop in a Day!






A man and a woman are driving down the highway when another
car passes them. The woman notices that the occupants of the
other car are young and obviously in love. The girl is sitting
very close to her boyfriend as they cruise down the highway.

This causes the woman to think back when she and her husband
were young and in love, and wondering where the show of
affection had disappeared to over the years.

Finally she says to her husband, "Remember when we used to be
like that young couple? Where did the love go, honey?"

Her question was met with a few moments of pensive thought,
while he looked at his gnarled hands on the steering wheel.
Then he replied, "I don't know, but I haven't moved."



If you just want to sharpen, darken, lighten or 
annotate a photo, Imagic will let you do it 
easily, without studying for hours.



Nancy went in to see a therapist and said,
"I've got a big problem, doctor."

"Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes,
he lets out this earsplitting yell."

"My dear," the doctor said, "that's completely natural.
I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is," Nancy complained, "It wakes me up!"





Click on the picture for the large version
Traditional Art in India

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Alexandra Watkins, 23, in Hillsboro, Oregon

Slow Learner - Jailed After Toddler Found Wandering 
Alone Twice In Same Week

Alexandra Watkins, a 23-year-old Oregon woman has been jailed 
after her 2-year-old daughter was found wandering along a busy 
road wearing nothing but a diaper - Twice in the same week!

According to police, Watkins was arrested on Monday after a bus 
driver found the toddler wandering beside a busy road wearing only 
a diaper.

Deputies tracked down the toddler's mother at a nearby 
apartment complex and charged her with child neglect.

The child was placed with a family member while Watkins was 
in jail. Watkins regained custody of the child on Tuesday after 
she was released from jail.

On Wednesday, the little girl was found wandering alone again -
 this time by somebody, who was out riding a bicycle.
This time, deputies knew where they could find the child's 
mother.

Watkins was booked into jail and charged with a second count 
of child neglect. Her bail has been set at $5,000.



Tech Support Pits:
 The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
From: Maggie
RE: How to set up Screen Savers

Dear Webby, 
I agree that those third party screen savers are atrocious!
That is why they keep pestering you, once they got your
address. Luckily I got MailWasher and can nuke their BS
on the server, without downloading it.

It cost me $150 to get rid of one of those live action 
screensavers and the spyware and adware that came with it.
Never again!

So how do I set up that Slide Show Screen Saver ?
Thanks
Maggie

Dear Maggie
Click on START
ControlPanel
Yeah, I know it is a big mess in Windows 7, but there is
nothing I can do about that. 
Search for DISPLAY, it often is not too far down in the mess.
In some versions of Windows7, you will see an item named 
Screensaver
However, Microsoft is not consistent and in other versions,
you don't. In those versions of Windows7 look at the bottom
of that screen, and you will see
Personalization
Yeah, pretty big word for people, who can't keep the setup
consistent from one version to another.
Hit that big word and at the very bottom right hand corner 
in that page, you finally see 
Screensaver.
In that screen select 
Photos
Click on Settings and browse to the folder, where you got the
pictures, that you want to use. 
Make double sure, that you have absolutely NO videos in there!
Make double sure, that you have absolutely NO videos in there!
Windows 7 does not deal gracefully with those, and you may 
have to pull the plug to get going again.
Once you have made absolutely sure, that you have NO videos
in that folder, select it. Then set the wait time.
You CAN put a checkmark onto the logon screen requirement.
That is normally just used in offices, where you don't want anybody 
else snooping into your machine, while you are in the washroom.

Then hit OK, and it is done.

if you don't have any pictures, that are safe to show in your 
absence, there are some safe ones at Wincustomize.

If you want to experiment or change your screen savers often,
then you will probably get VERY fed up with the ridiculously
braindead rigmarole for getting to the screensaver settings. 
Well, you are not the first one, and some good people wrote 
a tiny shortcut program for that. 
Windows 7 - Screen Saver Settings Shortcut 
That gives you a simple icon on the desktop to get to the
screensaver settings without any silly fuss. 
In Windows 12 that shortcut will probably be buit in.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


AD #2


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"Honey," said a husband to his wife, 
"I invited a friend home for supper." 

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn't go 
shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like 
cooking fancy meal!" 

"I know all that," said the husband. 

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" the wife 
demanded. 

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married." 

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Keep Pins in Prescription Bottle
Keep straight pins in a prescription medication bottle. 
This keeps them out of children's hands.

By kirstenenswan from Logan, UT

OUCH!
You can get paperclip holders at the Dollar Store.
They are cups with a magnetic collar, that offers
you a few pins without poking your fingers.

You can also get flexible magnetic strips at tool
supply stores. They are handy for holding a big
array of needles and can be attached anywhere
out of reach of kids.

I built a sewing kit from an attache case for a girlfriend 
once, and put some magnetic strips into the lid. They
held all the different embroidery needles and thimbles
and threaders. None of them ever fell off, even when
the lid was slammed shut in a hurry.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than 
just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then 
you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at
his desk, looking very depressed.

"Hey, what's up with you?", he asks.

"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly.  "She's hired a new
secretary for me."

"Well, nothing wrong in that.  Is she blonde or brunette?"

"Neither, her father is bald."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A man is a person who, if a woman says, "Never mind,
I'll do it myself," lets her.

A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll
do it myself," and he lets her; gets mad.

A man is a person who, if a woman says to him, "Never mind, I'll
do it myself," and he lets her and she gets mad; says, "Now what are you
mad about?"

A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll
do it myself," and he lets her and she gets mad, and he says, "Now what
are mad about?" says, "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you."



   »  Batter Up

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---

Safe Screensaver 

Friday, May 18, 2012, 08:31 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, May 18
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



It didn't quite snow today, but I have felt warmer at times,
when it did snow. That is no cause for alarm. We usually 
have a few really cold days in the middle of May.

The same happens in Europe too, and has for many centuries.
There each day has a saint and some in May are called the 
Ice Saints, because on their  days they usually have a frost 
or snow.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1096 Crusaders massacre Jews of Worm 
1291 Sultan of Egypt & his son take last Christian stronghold of Acre 
1642 Montréal Canada founded
1703 Dutch & English troops occupy Cologne
1756 England declares war on France 
1830 Edwin Budding of England signs an agreement for manufacture 
of his invention, the lawn mower - Saturdays are destroyed forever 
1860 Republican Party nominates Abraham Lincoln for president 
1918 TNT explosion in chemical factory in Oakdale PA kills 200
1948 Arab Legion captures fort on Mount Scopus
1948 Saudi Arabia joins invasion of Israel 
1974 "The Streak" by Ray Stevens hits #1 
1974 India becomes 6th nation to explode an atomic bomb 
1978 Italy legalizes abortion 
1980 China People's Republic launch 1st intercontinental rocket 
1980 Mount St Helens blows its top in Washington State, 60 die 
1983 Senate revises immigration laws, gives millions of illegal aliens 
legal status under an amnesty program 
1990 East and West Germany sign a monetary union treaty 
1994 Israel withdraws from the Gaza Strip 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take
it too seriously.
--- Socratex

"I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-   
lifts until my ears meet." 
--- Rita Rudner   

If one sticks too rigidly to one's principles, 
one would hardly see anybody.
--- Agatha Christie

A man is rich in proportion to the number of things 
he can afford to let alone.
--- Henry David Thoreau


Need to fix a birth certificate?
Learn Photoshop in a Day!






Last Sunday, the Gospel was the one about the ten bridesmaids. 
The five good bridesmaids remembered to take plenty of oil for 
their lamps; five bad bridesmaids did not.

The priest at our church is always very fiery and his sermons 
always end on a high note.
Last Sunday the priest ended with...
"Where would you rather be? In the light with the five good 
bridesmaids or in the dark with the five bad bridesmaids?"

It seems my honest answer was not what he wanted to hear.



If you just want to sharpen, darken, lighten or 
annotate a photo, Imagic will let you do it 
easily, without studying for hours.



TOP TEN CHRISTIAN PICK-UP LINES
 
 10. "I just don't feel called to celibacy."
 
 9. "Did I tell you that my great-uncle was a personal friend of Billy
Graham?"
 
 8. "I don't see it myself, but people tell me I look like Michael W.
Smith."
 
 7. "What do you think Paul meant when he said,
 'Greet everyone with a holy kiss'?"
 
 6. "You have the body of Amy Grant and the soul of Mother Teresa." 
(DO NOT get them mixed up!)
 
 5. "You know, I'm really into relationship evangelism."
 
 4. "I'm pretty flexible--I don't think a woman should be 
submissive on the first date."
 
 3. "Before tonight, I never believed in predestination..."
 
 2. "Just looking at you makes me feel all ecumenical."
 
1. "I hear there's going to be a love offering tonight."



Thanks to Lillemor for this picture of her Easter cactus, 
that is blooming outside.



Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Robert Lyzenga, 55 in Lafayette, Indiana

Pastor arrested for hiding cameras in washrooms

MAY 15--An Indiana pastor is facing a voyeurism charge for 
allegedly placing hidden cameras disguised as air fresheners 
in the women’s bathroom of the Lafayette church he had 
headed for the last decade.

Robert Lyzenga, 55, was arrested last week by the Tippecanoe 
County Police Department on the felony count. He was freed 
from custody after posting $5000 bond.

The voyeurism probe began last month when cops were 
dispatched to the Sunrise Christian Reform Church, where a 
woman reported that an air freshener had fallen off the 
door inside a stall. “The back of the air freshener had 
come off, and she saw there was a camera inside,” 
cops reported in an affidavit filed in support of a court
 application to search Lyzenga’s home and church office.

After discovering the hidden camera, the woman checked 
a second stall and found another air freshener containing 
a hidden camera. A third stall “also had an air freshener
 inside the door, but no camera was in that one.”

An examination of the devices revealed that “the three air 
fresheners were not really air fresheners. They are plastic 
rectangular boxes, and two of them had been modified to 
hold the cameras which were discovered inside,” Detective 
Robert Goldsmith reported. All three boxes “had stickers 
on them with ‘Glade Air-o-matic’ on the stickers,” which 
appeared to be homemade.

A review of memory cards removed from the purported air 
fresheners showed that they contained footage of two adult 
women and a female juvenile “using the restroom.” A church 
worker told cops the air fresheners first appeared in the 
stalls in February, raising the possibility that many other 
women were videotaped (and the footage was downloaded 
from the hidden cameras).

The examination of one memory card showed a “brief video 
recording in an office area” at the point where the hidden 
camera was picked up, turned on, and apparently placed 
inside the plastic box. In an effort to match up the video 
with a specific area, cops last Wednesday returned to the 
church, where they told Lyzenga that they wanted to take 
a look around the building.

Lyzenga showed them around to several offices, but officers 
made no matches. That is when Goldsmith “asked about 
Lyzenga’s office,” according to the affidavit. Goldsmith 
“noticed Lyzenga was very nervous” as he accompanied 
the investigator into the space. The pastor’s office, Goldsmith 
reported, appeared identical to the office seen on one of the 
videos (down to a Superman mouse pad on the desk).

Lyzenga, pictured in the above mug shot, was subsequently 
busted in connection with the surreptitious bathroom filming. 
Married for 30 years, the father of three was fired from his 
pastor’s post immediately following his May 10 arrest. 


Tech Support Pits:
 The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
From: Melody
RE: Screen Savers

Dear Webby, 
I look forward to your humor letter everyday. My question is 
about those active or live action screensavers I keep getting 
notices for. I would like to try one but am not sure about it. 
I have heard that they damage your screen in the long run. 
Is there anything I should know before I try them. Any help you 
can give me is much appreciated. I look forward to many more 
days of enjoying your humor letters.

Melody

Dear Melody
They don't damage your screen.
However, most, especially the "free" ones, usually include 
spyware and adware to pay for them. Some of them are 
extremely difficult to get rid of.

If you just need something to entertain the cats while you 
are away, just use one of the built in screensavers. You 
can use SlideShow and set it to use a folder, where you 
have pictures that the cats like.

That is perfectly safe, even if you let it run while you are
on vacation.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


AD #2


If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!





Officers at a military installation were being lectured about 
a new computer. The training officer said the computer 
was able to withstand nuclear and chemical attacks, 
drop from 50,000 feet, get run over by a tank and small
arms fire. 

Suddenly, he saw that one of the officers had a cup of 
coffee and yelled, "There will be no eating or drinking in 
this room! You'll have to get rid of that coffee." 

The officer said meekly, "Sure, but why?" 

"Because a coffee spill could ruin the keyboard."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Use a Vinyl Coupon Sorter for Receipts

I have a vinyl coupon sorter that is divided into 
categories (Grocery, Target, etc. and family members 
names and receipts awaiting reimbursement or rebates) 
Each time I purchase an item, I place the receipt in the 
corresponding file. Be sure to get into the regular habit of 
doing this or your file will cause you more aggravation 
than it is worth!

By Diana from Prospect, KY

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than 
just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then 
you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



Standing on the sidelines during a football game at my son's   
high school, I saw one of the players take a hard hit. He   
tumbled to the ground and didn't move. We grabbed our first-   
aid gear and rushed out onto the field.   

The coach picked up the young man's hand and urged, "Son,   
can you hear me? Squeeze once for yes and twice for no." 




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Although we were being married in New Hampshire, I wanted to   
add a touch of my home state, Kansas, to the wedding. My   
fiancee, explaining this to a friend, said that we were   
planning to have wheat rather than rice thrown after the   
ceremony.   

Our friend thought for a moment. Then he said solemnly,   
"It's a good thing she's not from Idaho."  



   »  Batter Up

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---

From A Loving Mother 

Thursday, May 17, 2012, 05:47 PM -
Posted by Administrator

Tweet


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---

Converting email 

Thursday, May 17, 2012, 12:16 PM

   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, May 17

CHICAGO (UPI) -- With security in Chicago beefed for this 
weekend's NATO summit it was absolutely wrong time to rob 
a bank, a police officer said. 

Officer John McCarthy told the Chicago Tribune that he and 
his partner cornered a robbery suspect immediately after a 
man help up the Fifth Third Bank in Old Town on Monday. 

The officers found cash on the man and brought him back 
to the bank where he was immediately identified as the robber. 

McCarthy said the robber picked a "bad time" to hold up a 
bank given the heavy police presence on Chicago streets 
for the NATO summit. 

"It was just poor planning on his part," McCarthy said.
-----------
With police outnumbering the protesters and everybody 
behaving, a bank robbery must have been a welcome
bit of excitement.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
0218 7th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet 
1527 Pánfilo de Narvaéz departs to explore Florida
1536 Anne Boleyn's 4 "lovers" executed 
1620 1st merry-go-round seen at a fair (Philippapolis, Turkey) 
1630 Italian Jesuit Niccolo Zucchi, 1st to see 2 belts on Jupiter
1630 Italian Jesuit Niccolo Zucchi, 1st to see 2 belts on Jupiter surface
1787 English slave ship Sisters, from Africa to Cuba, capsizes 
1814 Denmark cedes Norway to Sweden
1845 Rubber band patented 
1846 Saxophone is patented by Antoine Joseph Sax 
1881 Revised version of New Testament 
1884 Alaska becomes a US territory 
1932 Congress changes the name "Porto Rico" to "Puerto Rico"
1940 Germany occupies Brussels, Belgium & begins invasion of France 
1942 Dutch SS vows loyalty to Hitler 
1942 Dutch SS vows loyalty to Hitler 
1948 Israel "liberates" Acre, Nebi Yusha & Telel-Kadi 
1961 Castro offers to exchange Bay of Pigs prisoners for 500 bulldozers 
1969 Russian probe Venera 6 lands on Venus
1970 Thor Heyerdahl crosses the Atlantic on reed raft Ra 
1980 Major race riot in Miami FL - 16 killed, 300 injured 
1983 Israel & Lebanon sign a peace treaty 
1997 Sylvester Stallone weds Jennifer Flavin in London 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



"While getting dressed one morning, I decided I have been   
spending waaaaay too much time on the computer, when I   
caught myself checking the lower right corner of my make-   
up mirror to see what time it was." 
--- Unknown   


Need to fix a birth certificate?
Learn Photoshop in a Day!






An American tourist in Tel Aviv was about to enter the
impressive Mann Auditorium to take in a concert by the
Israel Philharmonic. He was admiring the unique architecture,
the sweeping lines of the entrance, and the modern decor
throughout the building. Finally he turned to his escort
and asked if the building was named for Thomas Mann, the
world-famous author.

"No," his friend said,
"it's named for Fredric Mann, from Philadelphia."

"Really? I never heard of him. What did he write?"

"A check."




If you just want to sharpen, darken, lighten or 
annotate a photo, Imagic will let you do it 
easily, without studying for hours.



The minister's little six-year-old girl had been so naughty 
during the week, that her mother decided to give her the 
worst kind of punishment. She told her she couldn't go 
to the Sunday School Picnic on Saturday. 

When the day came, her mother felt she had been too 
harsh and changed her mind. When she told the little 
girl she could go to the picnic, the child's reaction was 
one of gloom and unhappiness. 

"What's the matter? I thought you'd be glad to go to the 
picnic." her mother said. 

"It's too late!" the little girl said. "I've already prayed for rain!" 



Thanks to dad for these pictures.


Click on the picture for the large version



Click on the picture for the large version

This is a rare, pure orange Opuntia Krippa.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 



 Man Dressed as Dead Mother for 6 Years

Just when you think you've heard it all, a man goes and 
dresses up like his dead mother -- for six years -- in order 
to continue cashing in on her Social Security benefits.

Thomas Prusik-Parkin was in court yesterday for allegedly 
collecting over $115,000 of his deceased mother Irene's 
government benefits after she died in 2003. How did he do it? 
Well, first, he reportedly changed Irene's death certificate, 
adding a fake Social Security number and birthday, making it 
seem it was for somebody else and  like she was still alive. 
Then he went to the DMV to renew her driver's license, 
dressed like her. And then when people started growing 
suspicious of him during a real estate battle, he threw on 
a coat of nail polish, a red cardigan, and some lipstick 
and met with the DA's office. What could possibly go 
wrong, right?

He ahs been in jail for 3 years so far, during the investigation,
and faces up to 22 more years.
His buddy is in jail too, as an accomplice.


Tech Support Pits:
 The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
From: Mark
RE: Converting email

Dear Webby, 
How can I convert my email from Thunderbird to 
Eudora? We use Eudora at work at my new job and I love it!
I can look up mails from the early 90's and everything is
nicely sorted into separate mailboxes by department and 
client. I want to use it at home too now.

Thunderbird is a lot newer and the Classic Eudora (6.2.5)
does not have a way to import stuff from a program, that 
was written much later. is there a way to get mail across
somehow, or should I just abandon it and start fresh?
Thanks
Mark

Dear Mark
Get a new, additional address from your ISP. Normally there
is no charge for that. Set Eudora up to use that new address.
Then forward all your mail to that new address.

The mail will have forwarding marks, but it is old mail 
anyway, so that should not be a problem.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


AD #2


If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!





Rummaging through her attic one day, my friend Kathryn found   
an old shotgun. Unsure how to dispose of it, she called her   
parents.   

"Take it to the police station," her mother suggested. My   
friend was about to hang up when her mom added....   

"And, Kathryn?"   

"Yes, mom?"   

"Call them first and let them know you're coming."   

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Make Your Own Moon Sand

For "moon sand", mix 9 cups play sand (really fine sand 
you can find at Wal-Mart). Add 3 cups cornstarch and 
2 1/4 to 2 1/2 cups water. Start with 2 1/4 cup and continue 
adding water until you have the desired consistency. Mix well. 
Cover and store in an airtight container. You may need to add 
a few tablespoons of water if it needs to be moistened.

By duckie-do from Cortez, CO

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than 
just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then 
you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he   
called a repairman to take a look at it. "When did you first   
notice the leak?" the repairman inquired.   

Mr. Gable scowled. "Last night, when it took me two hours to   
finish my soup!" 




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


The scene is sometime in the old era when
cockpits had round dials plus flight engineers
and navigators. The crusty old-timer captain is
breaking in a brand new navigator.

The captain opens his briefcase, pulls out a .38
and rests it on the glare panel. He asks the
navigator, "Know what this is for?"

"No, sir," replies the newbie.

"I use it on navigators that get us lost," explains
the captain, winking at his first officer.

The navigator then opens his briefcase, pulls
out a .45 an sets it on his chart table.

"What's THAT for?" queries the surprised captain.

"Well, sir," replies the navigator, "I'll know we're lost
before you will."



   »  Puddles

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---

Free Email with many Gigabytes of storage 

Wednesday, May 16, 2012, 10:44 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, May 16
Thank you Don!

Just to see what the spammers are up to these days, I peeked
at the mails, that the MailWasher had
marked for deletion. That is always good for a chuckle.
In there, I saw a bill from Verizonwireless, supposedly, 
for $1475. Yeah, right. My only connection to Verizon Wireless
is reading the tales of woe from people in rural California,
whose Verizon Air Card takes 96 hours to download a routine
McAfee update, and who get billed by the minute. Since
MailWasher had already marked it for deletion,
for one reason or another, I did not have to do anything, 
except wonder, how many people fell for that scam.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
0955 Alberich II, illegitimate son of Octavianus elected pope
1527 Florence becomes a republic
1568 Mary Queen of Scotland flees to England 
1804 Senate & Tribune declare Napolean leader of France
1817 Mississippi River steamboat service begins 
1861 Kentucky proclaims its neutrality
1866 Charles Elmer Hires invents root beer 
1869 Cincinnati Reds play their 1st baseball game, win 41-7 
1872 Metropolitan Gas Company lamps lit for 1st time
1888 CPR opens Hotel Vancouver, Vancouver BC
1911 Remains of a neanderthal man found in Jersey UK 
1941 Italian army under Aosta surrenders to Britain 
at Amba Alagi Ethiopia
1941 Last great German air attack on Great Britain
1943 Jewish resistance in the Warsaw ghetto ends 
after 30 days of fighting
1943 RAF bombs Möhne & Eder (Battle of Ruhr) 
1948 Egyptians enter the Gaza 
1965 Bomb destroys USAF base Bien Hoa South Vietnam
1983 Lebanese parliament accept peace accord with Israel 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Don't knock the weather. 
If it didn't change once in a while, 
nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
--- Kin Hubbard

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---
       no matter what she's reading." 
--- Steve Jobs


Need to fix a birth certificate?
Learn Photoshop in a Day!






A railway inspector in Arkansas was making the
rounds of a railway station and yard in a small town.  
He located Hank, a man who had worked in the
rail yard for almost forty years.

He questioned Hank about various safety considerations 
and seemed to be satisfied that Hank was genuinely 
knowledgeable about railway safety.  

As a last question, he asked Hank what he would do if
he saw two trains approaching each other, on the same 
track, travelling at speeds of 50 miles per hour?

Hank said "I'd yell R.T."

The railway inspector, puzzled by
this, asked, "What's an R.T. ?"

Hank said, "R.T.'s my buddy and he's got one of them
deegital cameras!"


Imagic Photo - Image And Photo Enhancement Software
Imagic Software
This is not just a course, but the actual software!


You got to read this one out loud!

"Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance 
Company." 

"Would you spell that, please?" 

"Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. 
W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you." 

"Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor." 



Thanks to dad for this picture.


Click on the picture for the large version
This one bloomed today.
It is a aporocactus flagiliformus.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Roland Thomas Smith II, 32, of Spotsylvania, Virginia

Burglar forgot his USB hard drive

Roland Smith, a 32 year old Virginia "man", was arrested 
Friday for stabbing his girlfriend after discovering her being
with somebody else at an Econo Lodge motel. The 36-year-old 
victim, who told cops Smith stabbed her in the abdomen, 
was transported to a hospital for treatment of her wounds, 
according to a press release issued today by the Spotsylvania 
County Sheriff’s Office.

Arrested at the scene, Smith “had blood on his hands and a 
knife was recovered from his person,” cops reported.

As seen in the above mug shot, Smith appears to be something 
of a Latin enthusiast. He is now jailed without bond.


Tech Support Pits:
 The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
From: Danny K
RE: free email

Dear Webby, 
Can you recommed a good e-mail services.
That works well with dial-up and firefox..that is free and have lots
of on line storage.That has three or four gig's.Gmail does not work
right with dial-up...hot-mail does not work right with firefox. Our
new windstream ISP is a bunch of crap and will not let us get our
mail.Have been on the phone three times for about a hour each.We don't
want out-look express.

Hope you can help us.Thanks for your help and I enjoy your humor letter.

Danny K

Dear Danny
Gmail works fine with dial-up. People even use it with Air-Cards 
(cell phone modems). 
Gmail is the only company, who will donate that many Gigabytes 
of space to you. Everybody else will kick you out and tell you to 
go to hell, if you reach even ONE GigaByte. They are not in the 
business of donating storage space to you. Actually neither 
is Gmail, but they have enough paying customers, so that
they can afford to do a bit of donating.

I would recommend that you read the instructions at Gmail 
and set it up right. Then you can use it with your dial-up.

You can download Eudora from 
http://webby.com/eudora

Once you have installed it, let me know, and I will send you a 
registration code.
Eudora works just fine with Gmail. You simply set your 
Gmail to POP, and  then download the mail whenever you are 
online. Gmail has excellent tutorials for setting it up with Eudora, 
and Millions of people are using it.

With Gmail and Eudora you can also use MailWasher 
and reduce the amount of mail you need to download.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


AD #2


If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!





Proper attire is required in the cafeteria at the University   
of Maine. To enforce that rule, the management posted this   
notice: "Shoes are required to eat in this cafeteria."   

Next to it, a student added, "Socks can eat wherever they   
want."   

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Use an Empty Can as a Utensil Holder When Cooking

Here is what I use to prevent spilled mess on my counter 
when I am cooking. I usually use more than one utensil 
when I am cooking but never know where to place them 
during the cooking time as I am still using them. Well, 
since I usually use some type of canned goods with all 
my meals, I came up with the following idea.

I rinse the can that I used, then I use it as a utensil holder 
while I am cooking. Once I am done cooking, I place the 
utensils in the sink, rinse the can again and recycle it. 
So it's kinda like recycling it twice. The bonus is that it 
saves a mess to clean off my counter or a plate.

By tomnsaby from Albuquerque, NM

I use a heavy, old style, 6 cup Pyrex 
measuring cup 3/4 full of water for that. It is a lot less
tippy than a can and utensils don't get dry or crusty sitting
in water.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than 
just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then 
you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



Despite his best sales pitch, a life insurance salesman 
was unable to get a couple to sign up for a policy. 

"I certainly don't want to frighten you into a decision," 
he announced, standing up to leave.
"Please sleep on it tonight, and if you wake up in the 
morning, let me know what you think."




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Government organization is like a tree full of monkeys,
all on different limbs at different levels, some
climbing up, some fooling around, some simply
just idling.

The monkeys on top look down and see a tree
full of smiling faces.

The monkeys on the bottom look up and see
nothing but "as***."  (you can fill in the blank).



   »  Grave Addiction

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---

PayPal related scams / spams 

Tuesday, May 15, 2012, 09:37 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, May 15

From Walter: 
Dear Webby,
thanks for publishing the 'Find A Human' in your letter.
I had a problem with Comcast about unauthorized charges 
and could get nowhere with half a dozen people at Comcast 
with whom I spoke.

I then sent an email to the email address given in 'Find a Human' 
and had a friendly, helpful individual call me a day later and resolved 
the matter to my satisfaction.
Walter


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
0756 Abd-al-Rahman I becomes emir of Cordova Spain 
1492 Cheese & Bread rebellion: German mercenaries kills 232 Alkmaarse
1536 Anna Boleyn & Lord Rochford accused of adultery/incest 
1618 Johannes Kepler discovers harmonics law
1718 James Puckle, a London lawyer, patents world's 1st machine gun 
1885 Canadian Méti insurgent Louis Riel captured, Saskatchewan
1902 Lyman Gilmore is 1st person to fly a powered craft
1902 Portugal bankrupt by revolt in Angola 
1905 Las Vegas NV founded
1926 British general strike ends, but mine workers go on strike
1928 Mickey Mouse made his 1st appearance 
1930 Ellen Church becomes 1st airline stewardess
1940 1st successful helicopter flight in US: Vought-Sikorsky US-300
1940 German armor division moves into Northern France 
1940 Nylon stockings go on sale for 1st time
1941 1st British turbojet flies
1943 Warsaw ghetto uprising ends, in it's destruction 
1944 14,000 Jews of Munkacs Hungary deported to Auschwitz
1948 28 year old British Mandate over Palestine ends
1951 AT&T becomes 1st corporation to have one million stockholders
1955 Vienna Treaty: Britain, France, US & USSR 
restores Austria's independence 
1958 USSR launches Sputnik III
1960 Sputnik 4 launched into Earth orbit; later recovery failed 
1960 Taxes took 25% of earnings in US 
1962 US marines arrive in Laos
1966 South Vietnamese army battle Buddhists, about 80 die
1970 Elizabeth Hoisington & Anna Mae Mays named 1st female 
US generals 
1971 Radio Nordsee International's pirate radio ship bombed
1988 Moscow begins withdrawing its 115,000 troops in Afghánistán
1991 President Bush takes Queen Elizabeth to Oakland A's-
Baltimore Oriole game 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
--- George Burns


Need to fix a birth certificate?
Learn Photoshop in a Day!






One evening during a poker game, a man was bragging to
his friends about how his sister disguised herself as a
man and was able to join the Navy, without having to go 
onto.the waiting list for women.

"But, wait a minute," said one listener. "Your sister
will have to dress with the boys and shower with them,
too. Won't she?"

"Sure," replied the man.

"Well, won't they find out?" asked another poker player.

The first man shrugged his shoulders and replied,
"Sure. But who is gonna tell?"


Need to cure Registry Problems?
With Windows 7 that is even more important.
Get RegCure


Thanks to Orilla for this:
As the bus pulled away, I realized I had left my purse under 
the seat. Later, when I called the company I was quite relieved 
that somebody had given the purse to the driver. 

When I went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers 
surrounded me. One man handed me my purse, two 
typewritten pages and a box containing the contents of my 
purse. 

"We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he 
explained. "I think you'll find everything there." 

As I started to put my belongings back into the purse, the 
man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even 
though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your 
purse and we'd like to see just how you do it." 





Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



Thanks to Sir Squirrel for alerting me to this Bonehead!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Dallas Naljahih, 18, in Orem, Utah

Burglar forgot his USB hard drive

An 18-year-old Utah man was arrested on suspicion of burglary 
after police say he left his homework at the crime scene.

Police in Orem say they tracked a USB drive found at the 
burglarized home to Dallas Naljahih. They say the computer 
hard drive contained his homework and was in a backpack 
abandoned in the backyard.

A 75-year-old man and his wife reported their home had been 
burglarized early Saturday. The husband says he was woken 
up by a light in his office, and found a man who was looking 
through a desk.

The suspect punched the man and fled on foot.

Police say that Naljahih was found asleep at his house along 
with evidence connecting him with the burglary.

The backpack also contained narcotics paraphenalia.
More charges may be pending, for example assaulting a senior.


Tech Support Pits:
 The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
From: Carl
Re: PayPal related scams

Dear Webby,
I have read your column for years and appreciate all you do.  
I can't imagine the internet without you.  I especially 
appreciated the article today about pay pal.  I've used it 
for years on ebay and such.  I might advise you to mention 
to your reader base though that pay pal is one of the 
spammers biggest targets (I'm sure you already know this).  
Hardly a day or week goes by that I do not receive a email 
from a really good look-a-like site advising me to log onto 
my pay pal account for some important information or such.  
It is very deceiving and worthy of mention.....
Good day and good health to you my friend....
Carl 

Dear Carl
I guess with MailWasher I lead a very sheltered life and 
don't see the crap and crud you poor people in the jungle 
are exposed to.

With MailWasher you see the underlying actual links, 
and soon see the similarities in all that crap. As soon as 
you see any similarity or anything, that they have in common, 
you make a filter. 

From that moment on you just see that crap as part of the 
pie chart, that shows you what percentage of the nuked 
spam got nailed by which of your filters.
Good for a gleeful grin, but nothing to worry about.

Just like with spam about fake Rolaids watches or home-made 
Vagira with Vitamin K or whatever, you can set MailWasher to
nuke all that stuff right on the server. Why download it, if you
don't want to see it anyway?

The first time making a filter is a bit scary, but what isn't 
scary the first time? After that, like most actions, that are
initially a bit scary, it turns into fun and games, because it
is really easy, and the effects are immediately noticeable.

Dig the coins out of the couch and get MailWasher!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


AD #2


If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!





I noticed the neighbor down the street was home every day, 
so after a few weeks I asked him what was going on. 

He replied, "I left my job because of illness and fatigue." 

A few weeks later, his wife gave me the real truth of 
what happened . . . 

Turns out my neighbor's boss got sick and tired of him. 

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Spray Inside of Tin Foil When Baking

Before you cover your baking items with foil, spray the 
side of the foil that touches the food with non-stick cooking 
spray. No more sticking to the foil and no more ruining 
your pretty dish.
By cschatz from Springville, AL

The oil used in those grossly overpriced non-stick cooking 
sprays is not really healthy at all.
You can accomplish the same by using an old Windex or
similar trigger action spray bottle filled with some healthy
olive oil. You will be surprised how long a refill lasts!

And instead of buying a ridiculously expensive spray can, 
you just pour a few ounces of healthy olive oil into the 
spraybottle. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than 
just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then 
you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to 
go drown myself in that lake." 
Caddy: "I doubt you could keep your head down that long." 

Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 
on this course." 
Caddy: "Try heaven. You've already moved most of the earth." 

Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!" 
Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir." 

Golfer: "Caddy, do you think my game is improving?" 
Caddy: "Oh yes, sir! You miss the ball much closer 
than you used to." 

Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, 
caddy. It's distracting!" 
Caddy: "This isn't a watch, sir, it's a compass!" 

Golfer: "Caddy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on 
Sunday?" 
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin any day 
of the week!" 

Golfer: "That can't be my ball, caddy. It looks 
far too old." 
Caddy: "Your ball has been beat up and aropund for a long 
time, sir." 

Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?" 
Caddy: "Eventually." 




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Olga and Cherie had been friends for many decades. Over
the years they had shared all kinds of activities and
adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to
meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other
and said, "Now don't get mad at me..... I know we've been
friends for a long time..... but I just can't think of your
name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it.
Please tell me what your name is."

Cherie glared at her. For at least three minutes she just
stared and glared at her. 
Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"



   »  Sea Hues

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---

Attatchment Politics 

Monday, May 14, 2012, 04:50 PM -
Posted by Administrator

Tweet



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---

Is PayPal good for buyers ? 

Monday, May 14, 2012, 11:51 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday,May 14

Thank you, Doug!

Spring has sprung, finally!
The raspberries agaisnt the south wall have little leaves
on them, and the Saskatoon bushes in the back have buds,
that will blossom probably within a week.
I mowed the front half, and probably will mow the back
tomorrow. Got to show the dandylions who is the boss!

The rhubarb has woken up and is growing almost fast enough
to watch it. I'll have rhubarb on my oatmeal in a few days.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1264 Baron's War fought in England 
1607 1st permanent English settlement in New World, Jamestown VA 
1664 Turkish great Köprülü attacks 120,000 Donau soldiers 
1767 British government disbands Americans import duty on tea
1787 Delegates gather in Philadelphia to draw up US constitution 
1796 1st smallpox inoculation administered, by Edward Jenner
1804 Lewis & Clark set out from St Louis for the Pacific Coast 
1862 Adolphe Nicole of Switzerland patents the chronograph
1894 Fire in the Boston bleachers spreads to 170 adjoining buildings
1908 1st passenger flight in an airplane
1921 Florence Allen is 1st woman judge to sentence a man to death 
1932 "We Want Beer!" parade in New York
1940 Netherlands surrender to Germany 
1945 Kamikaze-Zero strikes US aircraft carrier Enterprise
1945 US offensive on Okinawa, Sugar Loaf conquered 
1948 Jordan's Arab League captures Atarot, north of Jerusalem
1948 PM David Ben-Gurion establishes State of Israel
1948 US grants Israel de facto recognition 
1955 Warsaw Pact is signed by the Soviet Union, Albania, Bulgaria, 
Czechoslovakia, East Germany, Hungary, Poland & Romania 
1969 Abortion & contraception legalized in Canada 
1969 Last Chevrolet Corvair built 
1973 Skylab launched, the 1st Space Station
1974 Symbionese Liberation Army destroyed in shoot-out, 6 killed
1976 Oil tanker Urqui Ola explodes off Spanish coast 
Since 1897: Ireland : Feis Ceoil music festival
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Human beings are the only creatures that allow 
their children to come back home.
--- Bill Cosby

"The spirit in which a thing is given determines how 
the debt is acknowledged; it's the intention, 
not the face-value of the gift, that's weighed."
--- Seneca the Younger


Need to fix a birth certificate?
Learn Photoshop in a Day!






Here is a nice old classic:
This happened about a month ago just outside of
Willmar, a little town in the back country of Minnesota, 
and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, 
it's real.

This out of state traveler was on the side of the
road, hitchhiking on a real dark night in the middle 
of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by.

It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in
front of his face. Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, 
approaching and appearing ghostlike in the rain. It 
slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.

Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and
closed the door; only then did he realize that there was 
nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of an engine to 
be heard over the rain.

Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was
terrified, too scared to think of jumping out and running.

The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp
curve and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray 
and began begging for his life; he was sure the ghost car 
would go off the road and into a nearby lake and he would 
surely drown!

But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared
at the driver's window and a hand reached in and turned 
the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. 
Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the 
window and the hitchhiker was alone again!

Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand
reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally the guy, 
scared to near death, had all he could take and jumped 
out of the car and ran and ran, into town, into Willmar.

Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice quavering, 
ordered two shots of whiskey, then told everybody about his
supernatural experience.

A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when
they realized the guy was telling the truth (and was not 
just some drunk).

About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar
and one says to the other,
"Look Ole, ders dat idiot that rode in our
car when we wuz pushin it in the rain."


Need to cure Registry Problems?
With Windows 7 that is even more important.
Get RegCure



Keeping up with your children can send to you a psychologist. 
Trying to figure them out is a task that no one has conquered 
as this next joke shows.

Little Johnny has been bringing his drawings home from 
kindergarten everyday since he started a month ago. Each 
day his mother admires the pictures and hangs them on the 
refrigerator. One thing starts bothering her though. 
Little Johnny only uses black and browns for his drawings. 
Fearing a problem with her young son and not wanting to 
make it worse, she decides to take him to a child psychologist.

The psychologist delicately goes to work. He gives Johnny 
a battery of psychological tests. He chats with Johnny. 
Everything seems perfectly normal. 
Everyday for two weeks, the tests continue. Yet everyday, 
little Johnny continues to bring home drawings in only black 
and brown.

Frustrated at not being able to get to the root of the problem 
and fearful that something is terrible wrong, the child 
psychologist decides to give little Johnny some paper and a 
box of crayons and observe what happens.

Little Johnny opens the box of crayons and yells "Oh boy! 
A new box of crayons! At school we only have old boxes. 
The only ones left in mine are black and brown!"





Click on the picture for the large version
Alaska Moonrise

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Christina Beasley, 23, from Lumberton, North Carolina

Charged With Attempting To Burn Down 
Boyfriend's House…. A Second Time

Christina Beasley, a 23-year-old North Carolina woman was
 jailed for allegedly trying to burn down her boyfriend's house
....a second time.

According to police, Beasley attempted to burn down her 
boyfriend's home after she had bailed out of jail for the 
exact same crime.

Investigators say Beasley had been charged in December 
with second-degree arson and burning personal property 
after she allegedly tried to set her boyfriend's home on fire. 
The damage was estimated to be $10,000.

When Beasley was released on bail, her boyfriend reportedly 
invited her to return to his home. On Tuesday, the boyfriend 
asked Beasley to leave his home following an argument.

In retaliation, Beasley piled firewood up against the boyfriend's 
home and tried to ignite it.

Beasley was booked into jail and charged with first-degree arson 
and injury to real property.


Tech Support Pits:
 The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
From: Olive (not the other reindeer)
Re: Is PayPal safe for buyers?

Dear Webby,
OK, so PayPal is the favorite tool of the Billionaire merchants,
what about us poor buyers?
What is the best deal for us?
Thanks
Olive (not the other reindeer)

Dear Olive
PayPal is definitely the best deal for buyers.
The seller pays for the transaction. If you grow some spinach
or herbs on your balcony, and sell that online, then you pay
about 29 cents per transaction and 0.02% of the total.
The buyer just pays whatever you specify for the price.

You don't have to be a Billionaire or big merchant to use 
PayPal to accept payments. If you put the results of your
spring cleaning onto eBay, like Millions of people do, then
you can use PayPal to collect the money, before you actually 
ship anything.

PayPal also includes excellent buyer protection. If whatever
you buy is not what you expected, PayPal will get your money 
back. It is not instant. They check it out and that can take a 
few days, but normally, if there is a dispute, you get your 
money back in the same week.

With that protection at the ready, the buyer can relax and
click a payment for a purchase ot an invoice without any
worry. 

You can set your PayPal to use money in it, for example
from your herb sales, or to draw money from your bank
account like a debit card does, or a combination of those
methods. It is entirely up to you. Once it is set up, you can 
pay for invoices or purchases by just entering your password,
no need to dig out the credit card and typo in that long 
number.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


AD #2


If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!





According to a recent survey, men say that the first thing 
they notice about a woman are their eyes. 

Women say that the first thing they notice about men is 
that they're a bunch of liars.

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Spice Up Your Coffee With Cinnamon Stick

Give yourself a no-calorie treat by adding a drop of quality 
real vanilla to your coffee. A sprinkle of cinnamon powder 
or pumpkin pie spice can also be added for those 
wanting a spicier fare.

Also, instead of buying chocolate coffee creamer, you 
can use plain chocolate syrup that you may already 
have in your fridge to your coffee along with a bit 
of cream.

Another favorite of mine is to add a tablespoon of 
Tang to my coffee. This reminds me of the coffee 
served with orange zest I was once served at a fancy 
coffee bar back in the early 70's (before there was 
Starbucks).

For an extra-special treat, turn your coffee into a 
dessert, by adding a squirt of whipped cream. A great 
way to use canned whipped cream left over from 
potlucks and family get-togethers.

By Cyinda

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than 
just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then 
you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he 
wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle 
a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age
of 93. 

When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 
35 great grandchildren and 
a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Hiram lay breathing his last. He rose on one elbow and told
the bedside gathering his last wishes, then began recounting
financial matters. "Don't forget Samuel owes me $7,000."

His wife, Miriam, said, "What a mind the man has, clear as a
bell to the very end."

"And I owe my partner Sid $210,000 for..."

At that point, his wife cut in, "Pay no attention to the poor
man's ravings, he's obviously out of his head."



   »  Sinkholes

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---

How safe is PayPal for sellers when compared to credit cards? 

Sunday, May 13, 2012, 08:53 AM

   
Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday,May 13
Happy Mothersday!

Proof that Alaska is hoarding snow and maliciously lowering
the ocean levels in Florda and messing with Gullible Warming 
predictions:
May 12: Alyeska Closed Again for Avalanche Danger  
40” Past Few Days; 77” in May; 944” This Year
Alyeska

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1110 Crusaders march into Beirut causing a bloodbath
1568 Mary Queen of Scots is defeated by English 
1588 King Henri III flees Paris
1637 Cardinal Richelieu of France creates the table knife to 
reduce the number of fatal and messy arguments at his table
1654 Venetian fleet under Admiral Adeler beats Turkish 
1828 US passes Tariff of Abominations
1846 US declares war on México, 2 months after fighting begins
1913 1st 4 engine aircraft built & flown (Igor Sikorsky-Russia) 
1934 Great dustbowl storm
1940 British bomb factory at Breda blows up
1942 Helicopter makes its 1st cross-country flight 
1950 Diner's Club issues its 1st credit cards
1968 1,000,000 French demonstrate against De Gaulle & Pompidou
1991 South African activist Winnie Mandela convicted of abducting 4 blacks 
1992 3 astronauts simultaneous walked in space for the 1st time 
1997 Eddie Murray is 6th baseball player to play in 3,000 games
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



The easiest way for your children to learn about money, 
is for you not to have any.
--- Katharine Whitehorn


Need to fix a birth certificate?
Learn Photoshop in a Day!






The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery
of California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the
$3 - $5 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart
brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for cheap
wine",said Kathy Micken, professor of marketing.

She said: "But the right name is important."
Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most 
attractive name for the Wal-Mart brand.

The top surveyed names in order of popularity are:

10. Chateau Traileur Parc
9. White Trashfindel
8. Big Red Gulp
7. World Championship Riesling
6. NASCARbernet
5. Chef Boyardeaux
4. Peanut Noir
3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!
2. Grape Expectations

And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine:
1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served 
with either white meat (Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).


Need to cure Registry Problems?
With Windows 7 that is even more important.
Get RegCure



Isaac and Aaron are in a bank when armed robbers break in. 

One robber rushes the teller windows, one guards the door 
and the third bank robber stands in the middle of the bank 
and yells, "Right! Everyone up against the wall and empty 
your pockets. We want valuables, watches and wallets." 

Aaron jams something into his buddy 's hand. 

"What's this?" asks his friend without looking down. 

"It's that $100 I owe you" answers his friend. 

----------------
That reminds me of a raid on an opium den in Vancouver's
Chinatown I witnessed in the early 70's. The cops had cordoned
off the sidewalk and part of the street, so that anybody 
exiting the building had nowhere to go but into one of the 
four paddy-wagons with open doors on the other side of the 
street.

Then one of them entered the building with a siren and a 
strobe light on an extension cord plugged into a portable 
genset.

In short order a steady stream of elder Chinese men 
staggered out of the building, shading their eyes against 
the bright sunlight, and each of them passing hunks of
dope to others, returning what they owed or had borrowed.
Between the building  exit and the paddy wagons most pieces 
of dope seemed to change ownership 4 - 5 times.
It was hilarious to watch, and I wondered why they did not 
just drop the dope. 





Click on the picture for the large version
Alyeska, AK

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Artia Patrice Davis, 30 in Clearwater, Florida

Teacher - Jailed After Police Discover 
Disabled Student In Her Bed

Artia Patrice Davis, a 30-year-old teacher's aide at 
Hamilton Disston School was jailed after she was allegedly 
caught with a 16-year-old disabled student in her bed.

According to police, an investigation was launched after 
receiving several reports that Davis was having an 
inappropriate relationship with an underage student.

Officers had gone to the teacher's home to investigate 
further when they discovered the same 16-year-old 
student lying in her bed.

The alleged relationship between Davis and the student 
began in November, 2011 and continued until May of this year.

Davis was booked into the Pinellas County Jail and charged 
with unlawful sexual activity with a minor. Her bond has 
been set at $10,000.

Davis was previously arrested in March of this year after 
she was allegedly caught driving on a suspended or revoked 
license. Davis was charged with a felony in the arrest 
because she has been designated a habitual offender.


Tech Support Pits:
 The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
From: Craig
Re: Is PayPal safe for sellers?

Dear Webby,
How safe is PayPal for sellers when compared to credit cards?
Thanks
Craig

Dear Craig
PayPal is perfecly safe, both for consumers and for 
merchants. If there is a dubious payment, they will just
hold that payment while they investigate and confirm it.
They won't block your entire account and hold ALL your
money, like for example Card Services International does.

Also PayPal's rates and fees compare very favorably.

Credit card systems have not improved in the last twenty
years, they just got a lot more expensive for merchants.
It seems, every time you check, they have tacked on some
other fee, and nowadays with credit card acceptance you 
have to budget about 5% or more for those miscellaneous 
fees and rates.

With PayPal it seems to be the opposite. Their rates
and fees remained stable, but every time you check,
they have added some more features and goodies
that make life easier for merchants, without raising
their rates. 

To top it all off, you can now use PayPal to process
credit card payments at the same low rates as regular
PayPal payments.

PayPal is very strict against gambling, porno or selling
illegal drugs. If they catch you selling that, they saw off 
your account for good, and then you HAVE to use cedit cards. 

Nowadays, if a company does not accept PayPal, then quite
possibly they have been caught doig something, that PayPal
frowns on.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


AD #2


If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!





Thanks to Dave for this one:
When we brought our new-born son to the pediatrician for his first
checkup, the doctor said, "You have a cute baby."

Smiling, I said, "I'll bet you say that to all the new parents."

"No," he replied, "just to those whose babies are really 
good-looking."

"So what do you say to the others?" I asked.

"He looks just like you."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Organize Coupons In Card Sheet Protectors

I was having a hard time keeping up with my coupons. 
So a friend of mine bought me a binder for my birthday, 
and I bought a pack of baseball card holder sleeves and a 
pack of dividers. Now I am so organized it's scary. My son 
says what is scary is that I actually know what coupons I 
have! It's a race to see how many I can use before they 
expire. I also have a steno pad where I write down for each 
store what I will use with a coupon.

Source: Money Saving Mom
By Paula from Weldon

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than 
just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then 
you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



Negotiations between union members and their employer were
at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were
flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions.

One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief
negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper,
"This man," he announced, "Called in Sick yesterday!"

There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly
ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament
with an excellent score.

The silence in the room was broken by a union negotiator.
"Wow," he said. "Think of what kind of score he could have
had if he hadn't been sick!"




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Two bored dealers are waiting around for someone to
walk up and try their luck at the craps table. A very
well built lady comes in and wants to bet twenty-
thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. The
dealers agree.

She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much
luckier when I'm half naked." With that she strips
naked from the waist up, and rolls the dice while
bouncing up and down and whispering, 
"Momma needs clothes!" 

She then begins jumping up and down and hugging 
each of the dealers.

"YES! I WIN! I WIN!" With that she picks up the money
and clothes and quickly leaves.

The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded.
Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?"
The other answers, "I don't know. I thought YOU were
watching the dice!"



   »  Sinkholes

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Using Linux to rescue a Windows machine from Norton malfunction 

Saturday, May 12, 2012, 10:15 AM

   
Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday,May 12

Thank you, Patricia!

Yesterday, in 1189 Emperor Frederik I Barbarossa & 100,000 
crusaders departed Regensburg in Bavaria, to walk all the way 
to Jerusalem, looting and killing all along the way there and 
back, to teach whoever was in charge in Jerusalem, about peace
and friendliness. The Christian way of doing jihad. I sure am
glad they got it out of their system and smartened up after that.

It is mindboggling, though, to imagine 100,000 armed barbarians
marching along, and the problems they must have had feeding 
that kind of army!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
0254 St Stephan I replaces Lucius I as Catholic Pope 
1096 The Jews of Regensburg, who resisted forced conversion, were killed
1551 San Marcos University in Lima Peru, opens 
1733 Maria Theresa crowned queen of Bohemia in Prague
1777 1st ice cream advertisement (Philip Lenzi-New York Gazette) 
1792 Toilet that flushes itself at regular intervals is patented 
1835 Charles Darwin visits copper mines in North Chile
1885 Battle of Batoche, French Canadians rebel against Canada 
1925 Uzbekistan & Kirgizistan become autonomous Soviet republics 
1928 Mussolini ends woman's rights in Italy
1928 Opium laws enforced in USA
1940 Nazi blitz conquest of France began by crossing Meuse River 
1942 1,500 Jews gassed in Auschwitz 
1943 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill arrives in US 
1944 900+ 8th Air Force bombers attack Zwikau, Bohlen & Brüx
1949 West begins Berlin Airlift to get supplies around Soviet blockade
1951 1st H Bomb test, on Enewetak Atol
1980 1st nonstop crossing of US via balloon (Maxie Anderson & son Chris) 
1997 Russia & Chechnya sign peace deal after 400 years of conflict 
1997 Susie Maroney, 22, of Australia, is 1st to swim from Cuba to Florida
1997 Tornado narrowly misses downtown Miami 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
--- Euripides

Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content.
--- Louis L'Amour


Need to fix a birth certificate?
Learn Photoshop in a Day!






A son comes home from the Army. After a few hours, he 
finally gets to talk to his father alone behind the barn. 
"So, son, what did the Army teach you?" asked the father.

"Well, they taught me how to kill people," said the son.

"With what?" asked father.

"We used all kinds of things, like guns and knives, but 
my favorite was the grenade," said the son.

"What's a grenade?" asked the father.

"Well, I brought one home to show you. You just pull this 
pin out and throw it as far as you can," said the son. 
The son proceeded to give a demonstration. Lo and 
behold, the son throws the grenade and it lands just twenty
feet behind the outhouse.

BOOM!!! The outhouse is demolished. All the lumber and 
everything else lands in a heap in the yard. 

Grandpa sticks his head out of the pile and says, 
'Whew, glad I didn't let that one loose in the house!"'


Need to cure Registry Problems?
With Windows 7 that is even more important.
Get RegCure



A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of   
peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to   
the clerk, "I suppose you will want some identification."   

He replied, without hesitation, "No ma'am, that won't be   
necessary."   

"How come?" asked the woman.   

"Crooks don't buy peat moss." answered the clerk.





Click on the picture for the large version
Hanging On!

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Kamil Mezalka, 21,

Perp tried to destroy child porno on his computer
by stabbing computer with sword.

MAY 10--In an apparent attempt to destroy evidence, a 
Florida man stabbed his computer with a samurai sword as 
FBI agents raided his home in connection with a child 
pornography probe, according to court records.

When federal investigators arrived early Tuesday at the 
Palm Coast residence of Kamil Mezalka, 21, nobody answered 
their “knock and announcement.” So agents “executed a 
mechanical breach of the door” and stormed the home.

As recounted in an affidavit, Mezalka emerged from his second-
floor bedroom, spotted the federal interlopers, and returned 
to his room and closed the door.

After Mezalka ignored demands to exit the bedroom, agents 
entered the chamber, where they spotted him “standing in his 
underwear, holding a two-handed samurai sword which he had 
stabbed into the side of a desktop computer.” 
Mezalka ignored directions to drop the sword. When Mezalka 
began to remove the sword from the computer, agents pounced 
on him to “eliminate any potential danger.”

Agents had secured a search warrant for Mezalka’s residence 
after an undercover FBI agent recently downloaded illicit 
images and videos from Mezalka’s computer via a peer-to-peer 
file sharing service.

During an interview with FBI agents, Mezalka admitted “having 
a file sharing program on his computer which he used to 
download pornography, including child pornography.” 
Mezalka, who used the online handle “Wolfcarven,” reportedly 
told investigators that he was “attracted to teenage girls 
13 to 18 years in age.” He also admitted that it was “possible” 
he downloaded pornographic images of girls younger than 13, 
MacDonald reported.

An FBI forensic examiner who reviewed the hard drive of 
Mezalka’s desktop computer--which survived the samurai 
sword stabbing--discovered hundreds of files depicting 
“the sexual abuse of children,” according to MacDonald.

Charged with possession of child pornography, Mezalka is 
currently locked up in advance of a detention hearing 
Friday in U.S. District Court in Jacksonville


Tech Support Pits:
 The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
From: DJ
Re: Windows machine saved via linux

Bless you, Dear Webby . . . 
for pointing me to that Norton Removal Tool! My son inherited 
a poorly maintained/protected Dell Dimensions XP computer 
awhile back and it soon got into an unbootable state with 
the installed Norton software continuously shutting down 
Windows "for it's own good." 

Unable to get around it in any other way, I booted the machine 
from a Ubuntu Linux CD and trashed what I could of the 
Norton software by brute force (i.e. dragging it to the trash). 
After that I was able to boot into Windows and deal with all 
the malware and registry errors. 

The system operated for a couple of weeks before once again 
giving us the Blue Screen of Death and refusing to boot. This 
time I was unable to mount the HDD using the Linux workaround 
and was really stuck. At last it was the Ultimate Boot CD v5.1.1 
that saved my bacon when I ran ViVard v0.4, Viva Surface Test 
with Remapping. That repaired the bad block and enabled 
Windows XP to boot. 

This is now my third day of running repeated virus and malware 
scans using AVG, Malwarebytes, and Housecall from TrendMicro. 
AVG initially found 2 viruses, then Malwarebytes found 2 more 
viruses and 416 other threats(!), and finally Housecall removed 
yet one more hacker threat the other two scanners had missed. 
With all three scanners now showing negative results for malware 
infections, I then used the Norton Removal Tool and cleaned up 
a boat load of crap left behind in my previous attempts to 
uninstall Norton! 

Just thought you might like to reference Ultimate Boot CD and 
Malwarebytes in your great bag o' tricks. And thanks again for 
your trustworthy tech tips. I like getting that information in small 
doses amid the fun stuff!
DJ

Dear DJ
Thanks for the info!

Yes, Norton does occasionally fail to protect machines and
instead gets carried away marking spots on the hard drive as bad
to hide itself in there. That is one of the reasons I carry that
Norton Removal Tool in my Tool Box.

I have heard about the Ultimate Boot CD.
If anybody wants to build one, check it out at http://www.ubcd4win.com/
A word of caution: You will need to read a bunch of instructions!
Building the Ultimate Boot CD requires an XP Setup CD 
with SP1 or SP2, and following detailed instructions.

The Linux version is simple by comparison, but requires some
familiarity with Linux. The Linux Ultimate Boot CD is at
http://www.ultimatebootcd.com/

A Boot CD is not something, that you can just download.
You have to BUILD an ISO image of the CD, and then use
an ISO burner program (also in my tool box) to burn the
image onto a CD.

The same ISO burner program is also used to make bootable
Linux "Live CDs" for trying different flavors of Linux, and
booting into them from CD, without killing Windows.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


AD #2


If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!





Thanks to Stephanie forthis one:
Like most babies, mine is not finicky about what he puts   
in his mouth. He Eats anything. But the day he swallowed   
a quarter, I panicked and called the doctor.   

"What should I do?" I pleaded over the phone.   

My extremely laid-back doctor answered calmly, "Swallowing a   
quarter is nothing to worry about. But if he does it again   
and a can of pop shoots out of his rear, give me a call."   

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Cleaning Vinyl Records

To clean the grooves of old records, dip a shaving brush 
in a mixture of equal parts distilled water and triple distilled 
vodka. Brush the mixture into the grooves of the record 
and dry with a tack cloth.

By duckie-do from Cortez, CO

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than 
just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then 
you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



Thanks to judy for this story:
Two brawny men came to my house to install some new floor
covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and
refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job
was done.

As they were getting ready to leave, I asked them to put the
heavy appliances back in place. The two men said that would
cost an additional $45 service fee, stating it was not in
their contract. I really had no choice but to pay them.

As soon as they left, however, the doorbell rang. It was the
two men. They asked me to move my car, which was blocking
their van. 
I told them my fee: $55.




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting
of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit.
"They must be British."

"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so
beautiful. Clearly, they are French."

"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out,
"they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this
is paradise. They are Russian."



   »  Amazing Animals

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---

When to vote 

Friday, May 11, 2012, 10:43 AM
Posted by Administrator

   

Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday,May 11
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Thank you, Robert!

I woke up to a blizzard again, and 3 inches of fresh snow.
The blizzard left and by 9 am the sky was clear. It was so
bright out with the May sun on the fresh snow, that it hurt
my eyes. However,the hike up to the hospital and back was 
quite enjoyable.

I read an interesting article, that tried to explain why Alaska
and Canada had a record cold winter, and why Alaska and
the arctic ocean got more ice than normal, with the Bering 
still choked up with ice, while the lower 48 states had a 
warm and short winter. They claimed that the big North was
under thousands of years old cyclical effects, whereas the
comparatively small South was showing the effects of 
man-made gullible warming, and that the lower ocean levels
in Florida are due to the Alaskans and Canadians hogging
all the ice.

I guess you got to be a believer for it to make sense to you.
It is still amusing, though.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1189 Emperor Frederik I Barbarossa & 100,000 crusaders depart Regensburg
1330 Constantinople (Istanbul) becomes new capital 
 for Eastern Roman Empire 
1421 Jews are expelled from Styria
1751 1st US hospital founded (Pennsylvania Hospital)
1752 1st US fire insurance policy issued (Philadelphia) 
1792 Columbia River discovered & named by US Captain Robert Gray 
1812 Waltz introduced into English ballrooms - Most observers 
consider it disgusting & immoral. No wonder it caught on! 
1814 Americans defeat British at Battle of Plattsburgh 
1818 Cincinnati Reds Hod Eller no-hits St Louis Cardinals, 6-0
1833 "Lady-of-the-Lake" strikes iceberg & sinks in N Atlantic; kills 215 
1850 Work starts on 1st brick building in San Fransisco 
1916 Einstein's Theory of General Relativity presented 
1921 Tel Aviv is 1st all Jewish municipality 
1928 General Electric opens 1st TV-station (Schenectady NY)
1929 1st regularly scheduled TV broadcasts (3 nights per week)
1931 Credit-Anstalt, Austria's largest bank, fails 
beginning financial collapse of Central Europe 
1942 Japanese troops conquer Kalewa 
1943 US 7th division lands on Attu, Aleutian
1947 BF Goodrich manufactures 1st tubeless tire, Akron OH 
1949 1st Polaroid camera sold $89.95 (NYC)
1951 Jay Forrester patents computer core memory
1955 Israel attacks Gaza 
1962 US sends troops to Thailand 
1967 100,000,000th US phone connected 
1978 Margaret A Brewer is 1st female general in the US Marine Corps 
1987 1st heart-lung transplant take place (Baltimore) 
1989 President Bush orders nearly 2,000 troops to Panamá 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the  cost of the 
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Few people can see genius in someone 
who has offended them.
--- Robertson Davies

"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the   
world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to   
plan the day." 
--- E. B. White   

"With 60 staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation   
of the sentence structure and a definite hardening of the   
paragraphs." 
--- James Thurber   

"I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning   
experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid   
I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less   
stupid." 
--- P. J. O'Rourke


Need to fix a birth certificate?
Learn Photoshop in a Day!






"NEXT," the conference emcee announced, "we have the
Chief of the State Patrol, Roger Ledding, who is
here with his lovely wife, Beverly."

The chief took his place at the lectern. "I'm a little nervous,"
he began, "getting up before this distinguished audience
and speaking today. But not nearly as nervous as I will be
tonight when I must go home with my wife, *Audrey*, and
try to explain Beverly to her!"


Need to cure Registry Problems?
With Windows 7 that is even more important.
Get RegCure



One day a man went to an auction. 

While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, 
so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but 
kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. 

Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the 
bid - the parrot was his at last! 

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer, 
"I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid 
this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!" 

"Don't worry," said the auctioneer, 
"He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?" 





Click on the picture for the large version

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!



An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to 

Andres Martinez, 24,

Man led police on low-speed chase 
while rolling a joint

HOUSTON (UPI) -- Houston police said they arrested an 
intoxicated man accused of leading officers on a low-speed 
chase and attempting to run over an officer. 

Police said Andres Martinez, 24, led police on a 20-minute 
low-speed chase Sunday morning on the Gulf Freeway and 
swerved his car in an alleged attempt to hit an officer who was 
laying down a spike strip in the road, KHOU-TV, Houston, 
reported Monday. 

The officer jumped out of the way of the vehicle and was not 
harmed, police said. 

Martinez told officers after his arrest he was not 
trying to strike the officer and his car swerved because he 
was trying to roll a joint while calling his "peeps" to tell 
them about his impending arrest. 

Martinez appeared in court Monday on charges of evading 
arrest and attempted intoxication assault. Prosecutors had 
sought an attempted murder charge, but the judge said 
there was not enough probable cause to support the count. 

Martinez has a long rap sheet that includes several drug 
charges and assault on a family member. 


Tech Support Pits:
 The link to  Mail Washer is here! 
From: Nellie
Re: Voting

Dear Webby,
Good Luck with your test.
I know you miss that cookie every two hours.
Ordered ink from the site on your page.
It has arrived and I am so pleased.
Where do you get all your beautiful pictures?
Should I vote everyday?
Enjoy your Site.
 
South, USA
Nellie

Dear Nellie
The nurse had problems drawing blood, 
so she got a different nurse, who wasn't buttoned 
up quite so close to the chin.
No problem at all after she bent low over my hand.

She reminded me of a nurse in Switzerland. At one place 
I worked there, once a month everybody hiked a mile up to 
the hospital and donated blood. I had to lie down on a cot 
and some cute nurse came by, started the needle in my 
arm, and while her right boob was only an inch from my 
open palm, said "Squeeze!" 

So I did.

She was a bit startled, but did not pull away, 
and after a few seconds even grinned.

If she was here, I'd still donate a Liter of blood 
every month!

Re the voting: 
It looks like they got it fixed. Yes, please vote every day!
Each newsletter competes every day, and more important yet,
I check the number of votes and enter them into a graph.
That tells me whether I delivered what you wanted, 
or whether I missed.

Good for you re the ink!
I have used Atlantic Inkjet.com ink for about a dozen years
and been quite satisfied with them.
Have FUN!
DearWebby


AD #2


If you can help with the  cost of the

Humor Letter, please donate what you can!





Thanks to Cookie for this one:
I do have the courage, but not always the skills, to tackle 
any home repair project.
And yes I tackle almost all of them.
For example, in my garage are pieces of a lawnmower I once 
tried to fix. 
 
A couple of my neighbors were walking by my house,
and found me in the garage attacking my vacuum cleaner with 
a screwdriver.

"I can't get this thing to cooperate,"I explained when I saw them.

Joyce suggested, "Why don't you drag it over to the other side 
of the garage and show it what you did to the lawnmower?"

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com

Give Each Child Their Own Color

I have four kids in my house. To make things easier, each 
kid has their own color (green, blue, red, pink/yellow). we 
have three boys and a girl. Most things come in green, blue, 
red, and yellow like plates, bowls, cups, tooth brushes, etc. 
Our only girl likes the color pink, but most of the time I 
can't find pink so I get her yellow. That is why her color is 
pink/yellow.

The main reason for the color system was when the kids were 
done eating dinner they all wanted dessert. The rule is "you 
have to finish what is on your plate to get dessert". There 
was always one plate that was left with food still on it, but 
each kid said, "That's not my plate! I ate all mine!" I never 
knew whose it was, but with the color system, NOW I know. 
These days, everything in our house comes in colors.

By runningonempty1971 from Columbus, OH

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than 
just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then 
you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



Thanks to Bob for this:
Both sides of our family turned out for my wife's college   
graduation. After the dean finished awarding all the   
diploma's, he requested, "Will all the 'cum laudes' please   
stand up?"   

My mother-in-law leaned over and whispered, "Wow! The Cum   
Laude family sure has a lot of kids!"   




Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. 
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


SINGLE BLONDE FEMALE...
Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant.
I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play.
I love long walks in the
woods, riding in your pickup truck,
hunting, camping, and fishing trips,
cozy winter nights lying by the fire.
Candlelight dinners will have me eating
out of your hand. Rub me the right way and
watch me respond. I'll be at
the front door when you get home from work,
wearing only what nature gave me.

Kiss me and I'm yours.
Call 123-4567 and ask for Dixie."

Over 150 men found themselves talking to the Local
Humane Society,
about a 4 months old Yellow Lab pup.



   »  Texas Wild Flowers

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Pinhead Of The Day 

Thursday, May 10, 2012, 01:59 PM -
Posted by Administrator

Man Attempts A Robbery At A Police Station

WILMER, Texas (UPI) -- A man remains in a Texas jail after allegedly attempting to hold up a police station, a report said.

Police said Keithan Manuel, 18, entered the Police Department building in Wilmer, Texas, near Dallas, Saturday evening with a towel covering his hands and a demand for money.

"A young man walked into the lobby and approached the dispatch window and told our communications officer, 'Give me all your money,'" is how Police Chief Victor Kemp described the incident.

Manuel did not have a weapon, but dispatcher Patrice Hughey said Manuel told her, "You know I have a gun, right?"

"She called for officers immediately. The officers arrived and were able to take him down at gunpoint," Kemp said.

Manuel, in Dallas County Jail on several charges, including burglary, claims he visited the police station seeking information on a warrant, and was joking about the holdup, telling KTVT-TV, Dallas-Fort Worth, "I play like that all the time. I didn't think she would take it seriously."

"You hear of those world's dumbest criminals every once in a while but you never think it's going to happen in your city," Kemp said.
Tweet



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