When it is not safe to send mail 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, May 5, 2011

Some of you received yesterday's Humor Letter in raw HTML.
Sorry about that! Well, you finally saw what all goes into the cake,
that you get, nicely kneaded and baked. 
Last night on the first send, I forgot to bake it.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
" It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. " --- William Blake Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. --- Samuel Goldwyn Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. --- Socratex
Cindy runs her own daycare business. She has two of her own kids and has about 15 kids in her daycare. One day the Cindy takes the children to the park to play, when a woman walks up and notices Cindy and her daycare kids. She asks her, "Are all these kids yours?" Cindy replies, "No, I have two of my own." The woman proceeds to ask which two are hers. Cindy laughs and says. "My kids go to the YMCA daycare center." The other woman asks in a puzzled voice, "Why are they there when you run your own daycare?" Cindy looks at her and says, "Because I can't afford what I charge."
Learn Digital Photography Now Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, Even If You Are A Complete Newbie! This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man. "This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one. "No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other. And so they haggled before the King, until he called for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half." "Sounds good to me," said the first lady. But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him." The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The young man must marry the first woman's daughter," he proclaimed. "But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court. "Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ann Marie Hernandez, 46, of Pompano Beach, Florida Credit card cheater hides card in vagina Authorities in Florida said they arrested a woman who was concealing a fraudulent credit card and a counterfeit driver's license in her vagina. The Lee County Sheriff's Office said Ann Marie Hernandez, 46, of Pompano Beach, was pulled over at about 7 p.m. Friday on Interstate 75 and deputies discovered more than $5,000 worth of items purchased with a fraudulent credit card in her car, and Hernandez was found to be concealing the fraudulent credit card along with a counterfeit driver's license in her vagina. When a female cop was called to the scene, Ann decided she was screwed, so she reached up and fished the cards out herself. She had used the cards to buy more than $5,000 worth of stuff. About half of it was in her car when she was pulled over.
From the Tech Support Pits: From Miona Re: Not safe to mail out Dear Webby, I hope you don't mind too much if I write you even though I know my computer is infected. I know you are properly protected. My computer came with what I thought was good anti virus utilities, but even though it is only a few months old and has updated the virus stuff regularly, it got infected anyway. I need to write to my dad to come and clean it up for me and install better virus protection, but I don't dare writing him from an infected computer. I can't call him at work, and at home he's always on-line and I can't call him there either. What else can I do ? Mina Dear Mina You can send him an Internet postcard. There are tons fo sites from which you can send postcards, even from my dad's site at http://dawna.com A few others, that you could check aout are: Actioncat Angeleyes Angelwinks and so on. That is just in the "a"s in the alphabet. Postcards sent with the Mypostcards system are 100% safe. Nothing from your compuer is sent, you simply visit a site, compose a card with the pictures and music available there, and send it off. And it is free. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used! I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 for 3500 channels, BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! BELL is really making Internet TV look good!

The new teacher advised the class to start the day with the pledge of allegiance, and instructed them to put their right hands over their hearts and repeat after him. He looked around the room as he started the recitation, "I pledge allegiance to the flag..." When his eyes fell on Johnny, he noticed Johnny's hand over the right cheek of his buttocks. "Johnny, I will not continue 'til you put your hand over your heart." Johnny replied, "It IS over my heart." After several attempts to get Johnny to put his hand over his heart, the teacher asked, "Why do you think that is your heart?" "Because every time my Grandma comes to visit, she picks me up, pats me here, and says, 'Bless your little heart,' and MY Grandma wouldn't lie."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Uses For Single Socks Having 5 young children it seems I am eternally ending up with "onesie" socks. I have been putting them to good use for my little ones by using them as a holder for ice pops and frozen yogurt in plastic sleeves. It protects their little hands from getting cold and sticky, as well as using up an item of clothing that I have no other use for! By Robin from Belmont, MI http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Paul and his wife Lorna had moved to Arizona and were experienceing their first real heat wave. "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained Paul as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "They'd probably think that I married you for your money."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her attention. Whenever he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement she readily consented. He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn't even make eye contact." "Oh," replied the waitress," I thought you wanted more coffee, and I didn't feel like making another pot this close to the end of my shift."

» Flying Clippers






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Leftist Math 

If a majority is illegitimate at less than 50% of the popular vote...
Then nothing done under Lester Pearson is legitimate. This includes:

1. The CPP
2. Universal Health Care
3. Student Loans
4. The current Canadian Flag
5. The Order of Canada.
6. The 40 hour work week
7. Two weeks paid vacation
8. Minimum Wage law

Furthermore, nothing done under Trudeau should stand, including:

1. The Charter of Rights and Freedoms
2. Decriminalization of homosexual acts
3. Legalization of contraception
4. Legalization of abortion
5. Legalization of lotteries
6. Gun Ownership restrictions
7. Liberalization of divorce laws
8. Institution of breathalyzer tests for drunk drivers.
9. Regional development programs
10. Official Bilingualism
11. Repatriation of the Constitution.

How about Mulroney? Well, he only had 50% for his first term, but let's be honest, without most of the previous, Mulroney wouldn't have had to do a lot of what he did, including:

1. The GST
2. Meech Lake Accord
3. Charlottetown Accord
4. 8 additional Senators

Cretien?

1. Changes to the Young Offender's Act
2. The Clarity Act
3. The Sponsorship Scandal
4. The Sea King Helicopter deal being cancelled

You see? It's all a matter of perspective. I hope that people remember this before they start spouting about how 60% of the country voted AGAINST this newly minted majority government.

Copied from oxygentax http://www.oxygentax.com/



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Courtesy of the Tuscaloosa Fire & Rescue Service, Alabama 
<br>



Pay attention everyone!



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Symmetry 

Symmetry from Everynone on Vimeo.

Made by Everynone

in collaboration with WNYC | Radiolab

http://www.everynone.com /> http://www.radiolab.org



See it on Vimeo


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Humor 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, May 4, 2011

There were no calls for election recounts. Election talk was
dropped like a fart in polite company. It wasn't really a serious
interruption of the hockey season. Some pundits are muttering 
to themselves, but the real topics are hockey, Bin Laden,
Gadafi, and Syria.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



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please donate what you can!
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids! --- Socratex Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. --- Jane Wagner
One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above the river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, an angel appeared and asked,"Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into the water. The angel went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the angel asked. The woodcutter replied, "No." The angel again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the angel asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, "No." The angel went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the angel asked. The woodcutter replied, "Yes." The angel was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and so the woodcutter went home happily. One day, while he was walking with his wife along the riverbank, the woodcutter's wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the angel again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" "Oh, Angel, my wife has fallen into the water!" The angel went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez. "Is this your wife?" the angel asked. "Yes!" cried the woodcutter. The angel was furious. "You liar! That is an untruth!" The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my angel. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, you will come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then, if I also say 'no' to her, you will thirdly come up with my wife, and I will say 'yes.' Then you will make me feed all three of them! But angel, I am a poor man and I will not be able to take care of all three wives, so that's why I said yes the first time."
Learn Digital Photography Now Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, Even If You Are A Complete Newbie! This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!

The construction foreman ordered one of his men to dig a hole 8 feet deep. But after the job was done, the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered the worker. The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem. "Honestly!" the foreman snorted. "The kind of help I get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!"
Thanks to Dad for this picture. Click through the picture to the large version. He even managed to get his reflection in there!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Bradley Gummow, 35, in Bartow, Florida Bartow teacher charged with drug possession Bartow police say they pulled over 33-year-old Bradley Gummow for a traffic stop shortly before 11 a.m. at the intersection of Polk Street and Baker Avenue. While talking with Gummow, cops say they observed a plastic bag in his mouth and called in a K-9 unit. Police say when they asked Gummow what was in his mouth, the suspect turned and refused to cooperate with officers. Gummow allegedly began resisting police until he was shot with a Taser stun gun. He then spit out what turned out to be five individual bags containing marijuana, weighing a total of 4.7 grams. Gummow is an 11th and 12th grade teacher at Bartow High School, assigned to teach International Baccalaureate and Advanced Placement students. Before Monday's arrest, Gummow was on probation for reckless driving involving alcohol. He is now charged with possession of marijuana, violation of probation, and resisting an officer without force or violence.
From the Tech Support Pits: From Re: Dear Webby, Dear Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used! I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 for 3500 channels, BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! BELL is really making Internet TV look good!

Eunice went to the dentist the other day. It was discovered that she had a cavity that would have to be filled. "Now, Eunice," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like?" Without hesitation Eunice replied, "Chocolate, please."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Money on Office Beverages Here's my tip about saving money on snacks. I am a administrative assistant at a small office. I noticed that all of us were going out to the local convenience store and buying cans of Diet Coke (the most inexpensive pop) for 79 cents. I got everyone together and told them of my observation. We then decided that we could save money by buying more together instead of buying a few cans at a time. What we do now is every weekend I buy a case of regular pop and a case of diet pop. Each person wishing to have one puts 30 cents into the money box, and we have our drink! The bonus is that our business has improved from all of us being around more, plus when we entertain we don't have to rush out and buy drinks - we just charge the business the same rate. 30 cents x 12 cans = $3.60, which is a 12 pack of pop plus tax. We stock up when they're on sale as well - so there's plenty around. It's just a thought to watch people at your office and building and try to work together to save money for everyone! Concetta from Westmont, IL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
When my sister's husband died, she went to the bank to put his affairs in order. The young clerk looked up their joint account and then asked, "Which of you is deceased?" "I am", she told the clerk, "but my husband was in such deep shock about it, that they buried him instead of me." "Well, if you are deceased," the teller muttered, "you can't have a bank account and it goes to him. But if he is buried, he can't sign the checks!" "That's OK", my sister told her, "they take VISA anywhere. I'll be responsible for the checks, and you can send the VISA bills to him."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Kim was telling her friend how she gets her son out of bed in the morning. "I just open his door and toss the cat on his bed. He sleeps with his dog."

» Sweet Scent






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A Great Day For Canada 

YEEEHAWWW!!!!!!!!!!!
The country came to its senses last night and gave the Conservatives a majority.

Thank you to the Ontarians who recognized the idiocy of cap and trade legislation proposed by handjob Jack and wiggy Iggy.

Canada now has a stable government that can weather the rest of the financial storm.

I hope our American cousins will wake up in 2012 and deliver a government capable of fighting the gullible warming crowd and implementing some rational fiscal policies that will move that economic engine back in the right direction.

By definition, a government has no conscience, sometimes it has a policy, but nothing more. --- Albert Camus


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Online Election Fraud 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Election is over. Because our system is straightforward and without
the complicated weighting of votes and electoral college and 
exceptions, an hour after the polls closed in the Yukon, the results
were final.

After a short one month campaign, the parties, that reneged 
on the coalition and forced a hockey season election, 
got skunked. Now they are no longer part of the Government.
Harper got a clear majority and the renegades are now just 
hecklers, who don't count. It makes no difference if they
vote in parliament, or even show up to vote.

The US usually follows Canada. Expect a similar pro-economy 
swing to the right next year. Actually, I hope the economy will
anticipate and start gearing up even before the election, just
like business lost confidence and went elsewhere even before 
the last election.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
By definition, a government has no conscience, sometimes it has a policy, but nothing more. --- Albert Camus "A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often." --- Oliver Herford "The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face." -- Jack Handey
Thanks to Vernon for this story: I was the last to leave the office one Friday evening and managed to lock myself out without my jacket and wallet. Kneeling in a deserted hallway to try picking an electronic lock with a paper clip, I heard the seam of my suit trousers rip apart. About then I realized I needed a screwdriver to remove the lock plate, and said so, aloud. Seconds later the elevator doors next to my office opened, revealing a screwdriver in the middle of the floor. There was a crackle from the wall speaker next to the elevator. "This is security," said a sexy female voice. "There's your screwdriver. Sorry, but I don't have a needle or thread for your pants!" ----------------- Bet you that screwdriver did not help him with neither the lock nor the pants. The screws on the outside are dummies that are only intended to keep a wannabe intruder busy long enough, so that building security can call the cops or find a big stick.
Learn Digital Photography Now Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, Even If You Are A Complete Newbie! This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!

On the first Sunday the new preacher only preached for10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes. When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way: The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my new dentures were still hurting a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures... AND I COULDN'T STOP TALKING!
Thnaks to Donna for this picture of her Rare Point Tree. Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Sharry M. Long, 54, in Springfield, Ohio DUI arrest occurs on way to face DUI charge SPRINGFIELD — A 54-year-old Clark County woman was arrested on a charge of driving drunk Wednesday while on her way to face a similar charge in court, according to a police report. Sharry M. Long was taken to the Clark County Jail and is scheduled to be arraigned this morning. She was arrested after the Clark County Sheriff’s Office received a call that the operator of a white Ford Escort was driving erratically on north Ohio 41 from Newlove Road. A deputy later reported spotting Long traveling on East High Street and driving left of center. Long overcorrect and almost hit a parked car, according to the deputy’s report. The deputy stopped Long at East High Street and Oakland Avenue for a left-of-center violation. The suspect appeared to be under the influence of alcohol and / or drugs because she had slurred speech, bloodshot eyes and had trouble staying awake, according to the report. When asked to exit the vehicle, she reportedly had trouble placing the car in park. Long’s vehicle was towed from the scene. She also had several prescription medications that instructed her to avoid operating machinery, officials said. Long was arrested March 17 on a charge of driving drunk and was arraigned March 29. She pleaded not guilty. Her pre-trail was scheduled for Wednesday, but was re-scheduled for May 16 following her arrest Wednesday.
From the Tech Support Pits: From Maryann Re: Election fraud Dear Webby, I got severely yelled at today and told I will be charged with election fraud, because I put our Atlantic Canada results onto the web, while voting was still going on in the West. I know it's not proper, since it could influence voters, but is it that serious? Maryann from Quebec Dear Maryann In your case, it probably didn't influence anybody and was just for amusement, but the law is the same for everybody. Quebec is a recipient province, that gets Billions of Social Assistance from the contributor provinces, so it was quite predictable, that most Quebecois would vote Socialist. However, hearing the actual results from you could theoretically stampede the Westerners and cause them to drag people, who would otherwise not have voted, to the polls. So you see, how that gossiping COULD be considered illegal electioneering on election day. IF you had a huge audience, or if somebody leaked your information to a busy site, it could swing a few seats. The way British Columbia, a former NDP province, swung to the right at the end, some people are bound to argue that was because of gossipers like you. I doubt that they can demand a re-vote this time, but such gossiping COULD wind up getting expensive! I doubt that you will get more than a warning this time, but it would be a very good idea to be a quiet observer four years from now. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used! I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 for 3500 channels, BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! BELL is really making Internet TV look good!

The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes. When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way..... The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures... AND I COULDN'T STOP TALKING!
A customer at Morris Green's' Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence. "Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?" "I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Morris replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it: Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant." "You sell them here?" the customer asks. "Only $4 apiece," says Morris. The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter. "You didn't eat enough, " says Morris. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry. "Hey, Morris," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I just found out I can buy the whole fish for $2. You're ripping me off!" "You see?" says Morris. "You're smarter already."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Your Own Take Along Coffee Packs I love fresh brewed coffee. To make my own take along packs, I place a teaspoon or maybe a tablespoon of ground coffee into a coffee filter along with aspartame sugar and powder creamer, and fold the filter in from the sides and down from the top. I secure it with one staple like they do on tea bags and I have take along fresh brewed coffee. I can add them to hot water, heated in the microwave where ever and whenever. I make loads of these and keep them in an old empty glass lidded jar for at home and put some in a small zipock bag for my purse. This is much cheaper than buying them premade, and I can specialize them with any flavor I like. By Kimsukie from Florissant, MO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at the grocery store!" "Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answers and Tom says, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of prunes?" The clerk replies, "Sure, dried or canned ?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A Columbia lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination when he stopped and said to the judge: "Your honor, a juror is asleep." The Judge ruled: "You put him to sleep; YOU wake him up."

» Rain Forests






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Funniest Story In a Long Time 


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Beware of fake IRS Scam 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, May 2, 2011

Election day in Canada!
According to the polls the country is split exactly the same
as contributor and recipient provinces.
The contributor provinces are pretty solid behind Harper,
the recipient provinces favor the union guy with the Ted 
Turner wig and unkeepable promises.

Icky Iggy and Douchy are not really serious contenders.
They helped force an election during hockey season,
but don't seem to have a clue what they would do, if they
got elected. However, they do take votes away from
Harper and Layton.

And there is one more, the Green Party Blonde. 
Most wonder, if she will will find a polling booth, 
but the polls say she might get almost one percent,
but probably no elected MPs.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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The nothingness of the center creates the somethingness of the doughnut." --- Scott Livengood It is said that power corrupts, but actually it's more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power. --- David Brin
When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress down. One of those days I donned a sweatshirt and slacks. A student came in, and his eyes widened. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "You should wear clothes like that every day. You look twenty, maybe even thirty years younger.
Learn Digital Photography Now Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, Even If You Are A Complete Newbie! This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!

"Louisa, could you help me with my math homework?" asked her younger brother. Certainly not," replied Louisa indignantly. "It wouldn't be right." "Probably not," said her brother, "but you could at least try and show me how you faked it !"
Thanks to Christine for this picture of her neighborhood Lorikeets cleaning up her breakfast table. Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Nikolaus Trombley, 22 in East Lyme, Conn Drunk rides off on stolen lawnmower EAST LYME, Conn. (WTNH) - A man is facing charges for stealing a lawnmower from a school in East Lyme. Police say 22-year old Nikolaus Trombley was caught on tape, stealing the lawnmower from East Lyme High School. Police say he stole it in the middle of the night and then took it for a ride. Police say Trombley told them he was drunk and looking for a place to sleep when he broke into a trailer behind East Lyme High School. He was looking for the keys to the school when he spotted keys to a Scag Mower and decided to go on a joy ride instead. Police say Trombley rode the three miles to his parent's house, mowed their lawn and was on his way to return the mower when he abandoned it near the intersection of Boston Post Road and Spring Rock Road. He's charged with third degree larceny and burglary. Surveillance video taken at 2:07 early Wednesday morning shows Trombley riding by the Boston Post Road building. Police say Trombley, formerly of Vermont, is now living in his parent's East Lyme home. We're told it is difficult to ride a Scag Mower, and Trombley is lucky there were no accidents considering he was drunk. A Skag Mower is a riding mower with powered rear wheels and swivel casters for the front wheels. It is steered with brake/clutch levers controlling the rear wheels. They are very agile and can turn on a dime, but take a bit of getting used to.
From the Tech Support Pits: From Roland Re: IRS Scam Dear Webby, Although the federal tax filing season ended on April 15, the Internal Revenue Service continues to see new tax scams. Two new schemes target families of those serving in the military and e-mail users. In both schemes, people represent themselves as being from the IRS. The IRS warns consumers to beware of any variation of a scenario in which a telephone caller posing as an IRS employee tells a family member that he is entitled to a $4,000 refund because his relative is in the Armed Forces and then requests a credit card number to cover a $42 fee for postage. Genuine IRS employees who call taxpayers do not ask for credit card numbers or request fees for payment of a refund. If you get a call or email like that, write down the phone number, hang up and and contact the Treasury Inspector General for Tax Administration (800) 366-4484 Roland Dear Roland Before you hang up on the crooks, feel free to use any saved up profanity you can remember. And don't bother calling the IRS. The scammers spoof the number that shows in the call display. There is nothing they can do with a fake number. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used! I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 for 3500 channels, BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! BELL is really making Internet TV look good!

My blonde friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair. "As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils." The waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Velly bootiful," he said politely. "Ivoly from sca-ace, endange-ad animahs, instead of fahm gwown choptick wood. In old time onny litch sumbitch bigshot use ivoly choptick to make shua wood iss not poisonnd."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Your Own Take Along Coffee Packs I love fresh brewed coffee. To make my own take along packs, I place a teaspoon or maybe a tablespoon of ground coffee into a coffee filter along with aspartame sugar and powder creamer, and fold the filter in from the sides and down from the top. I secure it with one staple like they do on tea bags and I have take along fresh brewed coffee. I can add them to hot water, heated in the microwave where ever and whenever. I make loads of these and keep them in an old empty glass lidded jar for at home and put some in a small zipock bag for my purse. This is much cheaper than buying them premade, and I can specialize them with any flavor I like. By Kimsukie from Florissant, MO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
My little brother was always "borrowing" money and never remembered to pay it back. Soon everyone learned to say they didn't have any if he asked to borrow money. Then one night he asked me if I had change for a twenty dollar bill, so, like a fool I said yes. He asked "Can I borrow it?" He got me again!!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A doctor in Oklahoma recently made a seriously incorrect diagnosis. He treated a patient for a cold before learning the guy could afford a virus and a flu.

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How to smooth old fonts? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, May 1, 2011

It warmed up to 8 above freezing in the afternoon, but with
a nasty north wind. I went for my walk anyway, and even wore
my shorts. Yes, sure I looked goofy, wearing my parka jacket
and shorts, but nobody laughed. 
Mainly because nobody else was out walking.

One lady, who turned up her collar to brave the wind chill
between her car at the curb and her house, pointed at my legs
and pumped a raised fist. 

So I walked an additional two miles. This opposite of gullible 
warming is a nuisance, but it won't stop me!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories. --- Arthur C. Clarke
A woman approached the minister after the sermon, and thanked him for his discourse. "I found it so helpful," she said. The minister replied: "I hope it will not prove as helpful as the last sermon you heard me preach." "Why, what do you mean?" asked the astonished woman. "Well," said the minister, "that sermon lasted you three years."
Learn Digital Photography Now Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, Even If You Are A Complete Newbie! This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!

A math teacher is instructing her class in multiplication and gives the students a problem to solve. "Now class," she says. "We know there are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a year. So who can tell me how many seconds there are in a year?" All the kids look baffled by the question except one little fellow sitting in the back row. He raises his hand and waves it excitedly, and the teacher points to him. "All right, how many seconds are there in a year?" the teacher asks. "Twelve, ma'am," the little fellow says brightly. "January second, February second, March second ..."
Click through the picture to the large version. Carnival 2011 in Brazil
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Christopher Martell, 35, Camp Verde jail, Arizona Re-Arrested Northern Arizona authorities say a man just released from jail has been rearrested for allegedly stealing a vehicle and causing an accident. Yavapai County Sheriff's officials say 35-year-old Christopher Martell was released from the Camp Verde Detention Center on Thursday afternoon. He had been in custody for trespassing at the sheriff's evidence facility in Prescott Valley. Hours after getting out of jail, authorities say Martell allegedly stole a vehicle that belongs to a member of the detention staff. Martell was later arrested after authorities say he intentionally crashed into another car and injuring a female driver. Deputies say Martell has been booked back into jail on charges including car theft, criminal damage, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and resisting arrest. He's being held on $60,000 bond.
From the Tech Support Pits: From Greta Re: How do I smooth old writing on pictures? Dear Webby, Now that I have seen the picture o the forgery, it is rather obvious. If I did that with my driver's license, I'd get thrown into the slammer instantly! Can I smooth captions and writing on old pictures? They are in GIF format and just maps with directions to different sights in the park. Thanks Greta Dear Greta First save the pictures in JPG, PSP, PSD, or PNG format. Increase the color depth from 256 to 16 Million. The soften the picture, and if necessary, soften more. After that, sharpen and increase contrast. It won't make the writing quite as smooth and elegant as if you write it fresh, but it will look much better than it did. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used! I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 for 3500 channels, BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! BELL is really making Internet TV look good!

~ There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory. I forget the other two.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remove Pine Sap with WD40 This is a handy tip I learned while cleaning up pine limbs after a recent ice storm. If you get pine sap on your skin you can spray a little WD40 on it and rub it gently. Then wash with soap and water and it will come off completely. I wish I had discovered this sooner as in the past it has been such a pain to finally get it all off. By Vickie from Dawson Springs, KY http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Yes, that is why every logger carries a can of WD40, except during mosquito season. OFF spray works exactly the same. Loggers, of course, don't bother with the soap and water until the end of the shift. Spraying the hands with WD40, wringing them a bit like a frantic preacher, and wiping them on the jeans works well enough. Removing the sap promptly is extremely important when limbing and not using gloves. The sap makes spots on the hands stick to the axe handle and quickly raises blisters. By using WD40 promptly whenever you get sap onto your hands, you can log all year long without getting blisters. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The week Sue started a new job, her husband was out of town. On the day he was to return, she thought it would be fun if he picked her up at work and they could go out to dinner. She left a note on the dining-room table with her new number and this message: "For a good time, call 555-1234." When her husband failed to show up, Sue took the bus home. "Where were you?" she asked. "Didn't you get my note?" "Oh," he replied with a sheepish grin, "I wasn't sure who wrote it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist. The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren in Boston. Then she inquired what I did for a living. I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free professional advice. Instead she sat back, picked up a magazine and said, "If there's anything you want to know, just ask me."

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Anti-Aliasing on the forgery 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, April 30, 2011

Some sheeple sure got hysterical complaining about me 
mentioning the White House forgery. Does the truth hurt that much?

It makes no difference who the kuckoo actually is. 
It is too late to do anything about that. 

What irks me is the arrogant sloppiness of the forgery.
"Good enough for brainwashed sheep!"

Well, you got at least one person standing up for you!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. --- Wilson Mizner
An extremely shy fellow brings his date a bouquet of flowers. She's so overcome she throws her arms around him and kisses him long and hard. After the kiss, red-faced, he turns and bolts for the door. "Oh, I'm sorry," she says. "I didn't mean to offend you." "You didn't," he replies. "I'm just going for more flowers."
Learn Digital Photography Now Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, Even If You Are A Complete Newbie! This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!

A driver pulls up beside a farmhouse in eastern Nebraska. He gets out and knocks at the door. An old woman answers, and the driver asks her for directions to Des Moines, Iowa. "Don't know," the woman says. The driver gets back in his car and pulls away. Then he hears voices. He looks in his rearview mirror and sees the woman and a man of about the same age waving for him to come back. He makes a U-turn and drives back to them. "This is my husband," the old woman says. "He doesn't know how to get to Des Moines either." ------------ They sound like gas station attendants in Phoenix, AZ.
Tanks to Kim for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. True doublke rainbow, with reversed colors.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dorothy McGurk, 43, new York Woman Caught Belly Dancing Loses Disability Claim NEW YORK (AP) - A New York City woman who was getting $850 a month in alimony because she was supposedly disabled and unable to work had her payments slashed after her ex-husband spotted online photos of her belly dancing. Brian McGurk went to court after discovering a blog that showed his 43-year-old ex-wife dancing for pay at a gallery. In other Internet postings, she wrote about dancing vigorously for several hours every day. Dorothy McGurk told the court that the dancing was physical therapy for injuries she suffered in a car accident in the mid-1990s. Richmond County Supreme Court Justice Catherine DiDomenico didn't buy it — and reduced her payments to $400 per month. The judge also ordered her to pay her ex-husband's legal fees and 60 percent from the sale of their home.
From the Tech Support Pits: Re-Run, WITH the picture I mentioned. From Randal Re: What is anti-aliasing? Dear Webby, Most of the mail and reports about the official White House forgery mention that some of the stuff klutzed into the certificate has modern anti-aliasing, that was not available in those days, just like the name of the hospital or the name of the country of the father. So what is anti-aliasing? Randal ear Randal Have a look at the certificate at the White House site: Official Birth certificate If that site is too busy and too slow, here is a cut of the top right corner from there: Look at the "1" that I circled and enlarged. Ignore the amateurish mismatch in size, look at the contour. See that nice smoothing of the outline, that makes it so much more pleasant to look at, than the "1"s from 1961 ? That smoothing is called anti-aliasing. All modern graphics programs have that since the mid 80's and have the option to turn it on or off. The official White House forger forgot to turn that anti-aliasing option off on his Mac, and thereby made it quite obvious at first glance, that it was a clumsy forgery. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used! I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 for 3500 channels, BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! BELL is really making Internet TV look good!

The showers in Jane's daughter's dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To warn others, residents would yell out, "Flushing!" each time they flushed the toilets. During one of her daughter's visits home, a friend stopped by to chat for a while. Jane was explaining how her daughter was acting more distant now that she was in college, and that she didn't tell her all about her life the way she used to. Suddenly they heard the daughter call out from the bathroom, "Flushing!" "Good grief," said Jane's friend, "How much more do you want to know?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Replacement Boxes For Playing Cards My kids are always tearing the boxes that playing cards come in. I cut a Little Debbie oatmeal box down to where it is a little taller than the cards and put the cards in it. I used the bottom of the box and cut the top part off. I plan on decorating it later. The box will stand up or lay down. By Sandrafadeley from Portland, TN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
My kids never understood my logic. They totally failed to see why they had to go to bed when I was tired.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
One Sunday afternoon, the Pastor's wife dropped into an easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tried!" Her husband looked over at her and said, "I had to conduct two special services last night, three today, and give a total of five sermons. Why are you so tired?" "Dearest," she replied, "I had to pretend to listen to all of them!"

» Cinemagraphs






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What is anti-aliasing? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, April 29, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

During the first half of Thursday I received all kinds of mail about
the many klutzy flaws in the White House forgery. 

In the second half, the topic changed to the question: "Why is 
the main stream media not commenting about the forgery?
Have they been scared and intimidated and forbidden to
comment on the forgery?"

Well, that seems to be rather obvious.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done. --- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. --- Socratex
Two English men are walking along O'Connell Street in Dublin, Ireland when they see a sign in a shop window. Suits $15.00, shirts $2.00, trousers $2.50. One said to the other one "Look at that - we could buy a lot of that gear and, when we get back to England we could make a fortune, When we go into the shop don't say anything, let me do all the talking, cause if they hear our accent they might not serve us, so I'll speak in my best Irish accent." They go in and he orders, 50 suits at $15.00, 100 shirts at $2.00 and 50 trousers at $2.50 The owner of the shop says "You're English aren't you?" The Englishman replies "Oh bother... Yes, how did you know that?" The owner says, "This is a Dry Cleaner shop."
Learn Digital Photography Now Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, Even If You Are A Complete Newbie! This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!

Donald wore a toupe. One Sunday morning he was fussing about how bad it looked and everyone would know he wore a toupe. His 7 year old daughter told him "No they won't... no one I told, had known!"
Tanks to Betty for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Daniel Alberto Barros, 23, in Miami-Dade, Florida Man struck by own car, still snags suspect DES MOINES, Iowa -- A tire store employee was hit with his own car when he tried to stop someone from stealing it over the weekend -- but despite an injured leg, he ran the car down on foot and took the suspect into custody. Timothy Ray is still sore, but he managed to return to work Monday. "Yeah, he hit me with my own car," said Ray, 36. "I tried to stop him, but he clipped me pretty good. He got me in the knee, and I rolled my ankle." The impact threw Ray back into the side of the tire store. Ray works at Graham Tire and was on duty early Saturday afternoon when someone noticed a man going through cars at some nearby businesses. By the time Ray was aware that someone was going through his Buick in the tire store parking lot, the man was starting it with keys he'd found under the seat. Ray, who was about 30 feet away when the culprit started the car and drove off, tried to stop him. After hitting Ray with the stolen car, the driver hit a fence, a utility pole and the building, and then he drove off, snapping another utility pole. Shortly thereafter, the driver crashed into a parked car. Despite his injuries, Ray was running behind his stolen car, and he caught up with the driver . His car was totaled. Ray took the thief to the ground and put him in a headlock and choke hold. Store manager Jeff Chapman was right behind Ray and helped sit on the suspect until police arrived. Robert Noah Reynolds, 18, of West Des Moines, Iowa, is charged with first-degree theft, interference with official acts, assault with intent to inflict serious injury and six counts of hit-and-run. He was in the Polk County Jail on Monday, held on $21,300 bond. Chapman said the alleged car thief "seemed to have lost his mind." "He caused a lot of destruction in a short amount of time," Chapman said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From Randal Re: What is anti-aliasing? Dear Webby, Most of the mail and reports about the official White House forgery mention that some of the stuff klutzed into the certificate has modern anti-aliasing, that was not available in those days, just like the name of the hospital or the name of the country of the father. So what is anti-aliasing? Randal Dear Randal Have a look at the certificate at the White House site: Official Birth certificate If that site is too busy and too slow, here is a cut of the top right corner from there: Look at the "1" that I circled and enlarged. Ignore the amateurish mismatch in size, look at the contour. See that nice smoothing of the outline, that makes it so much more pleasant to look at, than the "1"s from 1961 ? That smoothing is called anti-aliasing. All modern graphics programs have that since the mid 80's and have the option to turn it on or off. The official White House forger forgot to turn that anti-aliasing option off on his Mac, and thereby made it quite obvious at first glance, that it was a clumsy forgery. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used! I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 for 3500 channels, BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! BELL is really making Internet TV look good!

One time, sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that the flight to Vegas was full. The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats. In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later. About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer. About a minute later all eight of those people sat down grumpily, as the lady behind the ticket counter announced: "If there is anyone else, OTHER than the flight crew, who'd like to volunteer, please step forward."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Growing Basil Growing Basil Basil is one of the most popular herbs in the home garden. Known for its strong, peppery flavor (with hints of licorice), and its striking ornamental foliage. Basil is as versatile in the landscape as it is in the kitchen. http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Thanks to Ellie for this one: To confirm her suspicions my sister needed to purchase a pregnancy test kit. Since I was going to the pharmacy, she asked me to pick one up for her. I didn't stop to think how I appeared to the clerk when I waddled up, nine months pregnant, to pay for the kit. "Honey," she said, "I can save you $15 right now. You're definitely pregnant."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A young minister, in his first days at his first parish, is obliged to conduct the funeral services for an eccentric man who has just died. At he funeral home, he stands before the open casket and tries to think of words to console the widow. Finally, the minister says, "I know this must be a very hard blow, Mrs. Jones. But we must remember that what we see here is only the husk, the shell. The nut has gone to heaven."

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White House Forgery revealed! 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, April 28, 2011

I got a fair bit of mail today about Obamanov's birth certificate posted
on the White House site:
http://www.whitehouse.gov/sites/default ... g-form.pdf
Official Birth certificate

Yes, it IS official, 
and it IS indeed forged.
It is actually a very, very klutzy forgery.
Whoever did it, even forgot to merge the layers and left a wide open
forensic itinerary of the forgery. DUH!
That is about as boneheaded as the guy, who held up a bank with
a note written on the back of his probation papers, and left those
at the bank.

I just had a quick glance at the official forgery, and saw 
that it was obvious and klutzy. If you want to read about how to spot
the many mistakes on that forgery, try
You've GOT To Be Kidding Me (Birth Certificate)

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
He who lives without folly isn't so wise as he thinks. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening. --- Barbara Tober Traditions are a cozy way to ensure that the smart people don't have to learn everything the hard way. --- D.W.
Joe's wife likes to sing. She decided to join the church choir. From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Joe would head outside to the porch. His wife, with hurt feelings, said, "What's the matter, Joe? Don't you like my singing?" Joe replied, "Honey, I love your singing, but I just want to make sure the neighbors know I'm not beating you."
Learn Digital Photography Now Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, Even If You Are A Complete Newbie! This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A northern zoo has the English and the Latin name of the animal on the front of the cage. A southern zoo has the English name of the animal and cooking instructions on the front of the cage.
Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Daniel Alberto Barros, 23, in Miami-Dade, Florida Police Impersonator Arrested A quick thinking woman saves herself from potentially becoming a victim. The 23-year-old says Daniel Alberto Barros pulled up behind her Friday night, flashed red and blue lights and a badge at her and tried to get her to pull over. She immediately called her stepfather, a real officer. He met her and Barros at a Southwest Miami-Dade gas station, which propelled Barros to make a run for it. He was arrested a short distance away and charged with impersonating an officer. Investigators say the badge was real. Barros' brother is a real officer. The unmarked BMW was also his brother's. The report did not mention who owned the illegal red and blue lights..
From the Tech Support Pits: From Mandy Re: Is it safe to vacuum a keyboard? Dear Webby, Is it safe to vacuum a keyboard? I got yelled at for trying to do that, but thought you had recommended it at one time. Mandy Dear Mandy Yes, it is quite safe to vacuum today's keyboards. Unplug it first, and it is also quite safe to slam it upside down onto a hard surface, preferably one covered with old newspaper or an open garbage bag. You will be surprised what all falls out. After that, go ahead and vacuum it thoroughly, then wash it with a damp sponge and dry it with an old t-shirt. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used! I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 for 3500 channels, BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! BELL is really making Internet TV look good!

"Doctor, I'd like you to evaluate my 13 year-old son." "OK: He's suffering from a transient psychosis with an intermittent rage disorder, punctuated by episodic radical mood swings, but his prognosis is good for full recovery." "How can you say all that without even meeting him?" "I thought you said he's 13?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Bracelets and Watches on a Mug Rack I moved to a small flat last November and am still finding items that I have not unpacked. Amongst these are my bling bracelets and watches, only cheap from holidays but I just love them. Because storage is very limited, I bought a stainless steel mug rack and have hung everything, watches and all. It it looks really pretty and no need to hide away. By Helen from UK http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
When Bill and Sue were getting married, they wanted to add a touch of Sue's home state, Kansas, to the wedding. Bill explained this to a friend and said that they were planning to have wheat rather than rice thrown after the ceremony. His friend thought for a moment. Then he said solemnly, "It's a good thing she's not from Idaho."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
After shopping at a busy store, Mary and another woman happened to leave at the same time, only to be faced with the daunting task of finding their cars in the crowded parking lot. Just then Mary's car horn beeped, and she was able to locate her vehicle easily. Wow," the other woman said. "I sure could use a gadget like that to help me find my car." "Actually," I replied, "that was my husband who honked the horn when he saw me walking off in the wrong direction."

» Oklahoma Wild Flowers






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New Antisceptic 


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Internet TV 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, April 27, 2011

If you, or a family member, uses a Sony Play Station,
it would be a good idea to inform your credit card companies 
and request fresh cards. The data o 77 Million users has been
copied by hackers. They won't get around to cleaning out 
the cards of all of them immediately, but they will start at
one end. Let's hope, by the time they get to your card,
you will have replaced yours with a new one!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
A person should feel as good at 50 as he did at 17 and he should be as smart at 50 as he thought he was at 17 --- Socratex Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance. --- Confucius It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. --- John Wooden
A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "I have decided to plant some vegetables in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter, "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "You won't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." The prisoner wrote another letter: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the vegetables."
Learn Digital Photography Now Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, Even If You Are A Complete Newbie! This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!

I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, "Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay!" The driver of a nearby car gave me a startled look. "I don't know about you," he said incredulously. "But I usually just put my car in park."
Click through the picture to the large version. Are those blue lines level, or not?
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 55 year old drunk driver in Melbourne, Australia Melbourne drunk driver on way to 'test teeth' at KFC A WOMAN caught drink-driving has told Melbourne police she was on her way to try her new teeth on fried chicken. The 55-year-old from St Kilda East was caught outside the Prahran Police Station on Friday night and recorded a reading of 0.052. It was her second offence in 10 years and she received an automatic loss of licence. Police say the woman said she had decided to drive because she wanted to try out her new false teeth on KFC. Also in Melbourne, police pulled over a vehicle at Prahran on yesterday with two males standing on the back seats protruding from their waist up through the sunroof. Police fined the two almost $360 each and the driver $480 and gave him six demerit points.
From the Tech Support Pits: From Gale Re: Internet TV Dear Webby, Glad your feeling better and walking further these days. All the snow your having doesn't sound like much fun. Here in St. Louis, Missouri area we are dealing with tornadoes that are setting records. I notice the advertisement on your news letter for "Internet TV" through your lap top or PC and I have a question about it. I don't want to sit in front of my PC all evening and watch TV so is this program able to come through regular TVs with some sort of program or just through the PCs? Sitting in front of the PC and watching TV of the evening and watching TV on a small computer screen just doesn't seem relaxing to me. So can it be view on regular TV screen? Thank you for your help and advice. Gale Dear Gale Apparently all you need is the cable that normally connects the TV to the tuner or channel selector, and then use your big TV as your monitor. With the new format TVs, that should be no prolem at all, unless you have the TV in a different building than the computer. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used! I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 for 3500 channels, BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! BELL is really making Internet TV look good!

Thanks to Donna for this one: While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes," he replied. "When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1957." "Why, you were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com How Do I Thin Nail Polish? I had some nail polish that was getting too thick to use, so instead of throwing it away, I poured nail polish remover in it. I just poured a little at a time. Shake it good and if it's still too thick, add a little more. Do this until you can put on your nails smoothly. Nail polish is getting expensive now, so I have to be thrifty. Some bottles are $5.00 or $6.00. Can't throw them away, just fix them - thin them down! Also, if you have a color that you think is too light, just mix in a darker color. Too dark, pour in a lighter color. I have made some pretty colors doing this and saved money. Give it a try, it really works! By dwedenoja from New Creek, WV http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The impish girl turned on the tractor and pushed the outhouse into the creek. Later, her father told her the story of George Washington chopping down his father's cherry tree but wasn't spanked because he had told the truth. The girl proudly announced, "I cannot tell a lie. I pushed the outhouse into the creek." He told her to bend over and the shocked child protested that George Washington had not been punished. The father replied, "Well, George's father wasn't IN the cherry tree when it got chopped down!"

» The Big Picture






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Can you use an alternate email while on AOL? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Had to laugh when I read that Lindsay Lohan was "angry about
getting sentenced to 120 days". 
Booo hooo.
The cutesy dingbat did not realize that she got the 120 days 
not so much for stealing a necklace, but for fighting the 
conviction, even though she was on tape!

And now she paid $75,000 bail to be out while appealing the
120 day sentence. She obviously STILL has not learned her 
lesson.

The $75,000 are just ID-10-T tax, of course, since the dingbat 
is bound to get caught for something or another between now
and her next court appearance. Superior Court Judge Stephanie 
Sautner is probably laughing her butt off about it.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't. --- Victor Borge Among the English language's many puzzling words is "economy," which means the large size in soap flakes and the small size in cars.
Baby camel to his dad, "Dad, why have we got such big feet?" "so that we can carry our masters through the hot shifting sands of the desert where no other animal can go," replied Dad. "Dad, why have we such long spindly legs?" "So that we can carry our masters through all the prickly thorn bushes in the desert without scratching their legs," replied Dad. "Dad, why do we have such big humps on our backs?" "So that we can carry our masters for long distances across the desert without stopping for food or water," replied Dad. "Dad, why our we sitting in the back of this pickup truck?"
Learn Digital Photography Now Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, Even If You Are A Complete Newbie! This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!

SUE: "Karen, do you carry a momento of some sort in that locket of yours?" KAREN: Yes, it's a lock of my husband's hair. SUE: But your husband is still alive. KAREN: I know, but his hair is gone.
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to dopey pilots in New Mexico Cocaine floating in N.M. lake after plane crash State police divers have recovered what a spokesman describes as "fragmented pieces of human remains" from a northern New Mexico lake where authorities have been finding bundles of cocaine since a small plane crashed into the lake. State police spokesman Lt. Eric Garcia said he doesn't know if the remains found Monday belong to more than one person or if there are more remains. The plane, the pilot and any passengers haven't been identified, he said. Winds and current have caused plane debris to spread since Sunday's crash, but more than 20 packages of cocaine have been recovered. Dive team members, who were working 100 feet below the water's surface Monday afternoon, recovered only small pieces of the plane — the largest about the size of a piece of paper, Garcia said. Divers have found nothing that would identify the aircraft, but "the more the water gets rocky, the more debris turns up," he said. The human remains have been turned over to the state Office of the Medical Investigator. Witnesses reported the plane crashed into Heron Lake, about 100 miles north of Santa Fe, at about 10:30 a.m. Sunday. Lake patrol officers found several packages of cocaine, each weighing about a kilogram, or 2 pounds, floating on the lake. State police have blocked the road to the lake to stop people from getting into the area while the search continues. Air trafficking historically has been a significant issue for Southwest border states, state police Chief Robert Shilling said Monday. "I won't say it's keeping us super busy and we're interdicting a plane a week, but ... air smuggling in New Mexico always has been and will continue to be an issue for law enforcement," Shilling said from state police headquarters in Santa Fe. The largest problem now comes from ultra-light craft used in trafficking along the southern border, he said. A couple of commercial pilots staying at a cabin on Heron Lake told CBS affiliate KRQE that they heard the plane circling above them, then the sound of the engine changed and the next thing they heard was a boom.
From Mark Re: Can you use an alternate email while on AOL? Dear Webby, My boss is way behind on her ID-10-T taxes and insists that we dial up through AOL, because she has a stack of those Free AOL CDs. We get all the spam, but we lose way too much of real mail. Pus of course, most customers lauch and snicker when they see our addresses and ask if we are a real business. Is there a way to get reliable mail even when you are on AOL? Mark Dear Mark Yes, sure there is! You can use web mail based on your domain name, or Gmail. You can use either of those and even process them with a full-featured professional email program like Eudora, Pegasus, Outlook, Thunderbird, etc., just like the real businesses do. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used! I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 for 3500 channels, BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! BELL is really making Internet TV look good!

Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings." I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. Liz replied: "Yeah, I can understand that. I feel that way too when I eat my hubby's cooking!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Switch Burners When Simmering This is a tip for when you are cooking something that needs to be brought to the boil and then simmered for a period of time. If you are using an electric stove, you know that it takes considerable time to cool down that burner so that the simmering can begin. To avoid the wait, and possible boiling over, just turn on another burner (of the same size) on "low" and transfer your boiling pot to it. Turn off the original burner, of course. No more boiled over sauces, soups, or chili. By Ginny W from Murrells Inlet, SC http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The new patient was airing his woes to an understanding doctor: "After the first, I'm tired, Doc. After the second, my chest aches and I start getting pains in my legs. After the third, I feel like fainting and it takes half-an-hour for my heart and respiration to return to normal." "Why don't you quit after the first?" inquired the doctor. "How can I do that, Doc?" said the patient. "I live on the third floor!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two truck drivers arrive in front of a tunnel. The sign says MAXIMUM HEIGHT 3 METERS. The first driver measures his truck and says, "Damn...3 .2 meters!" The second one looks furtively around and says, "No police, anywhere. try it!"

» Landscape Pictures






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Not all pictures forward in my Gmail 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, April 25, 2011

We had a beautiful Easter weekend and I was able to add another
half mile to my daily walk. I don't think I would be able to work
at a hamburger joint for a whole shift just yet, but I can do a 
brisk 3 mile walk without significant pain in the heart area.
I was told to expect some discomfort, since here was major
healing and growing going on, and to just keep at it steadily.

That is what I am doing, and still not smoking!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty. --- Eugene McCarthy
Russ and Sam, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Russ didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Russ hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him. A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and-- lo and behold!--there sat Russ! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, 'For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?' Russ replied, 'I have been in jail.' 'Jail!' cried Sam. What in the world for?' 'Well,' Russ said, 'you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?' 'Yeah,' said Sam, 'I remember her. What about her?' 'Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pled 'guilty'. 'The damn judge gave me 30 days for perjury!'
Learn Digital Photography Now Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, Even If You Are A Complete Newbie! This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!

We were listening to a lecture on psychic phenomena in our Comparative Religions course. Our instructor told us about a woman who contacted police working on a missing-persons case. "She gave eerily detailed instructions on where to find the body," the teacher said. "In fact, the detectives did find the body just as she had described. Now what would you call that kind of person?" While the rest of us pondered the question, a sheriff's officer taking the course raised his hand and replied, "A suspect."
Click through the picture to the large version. Spring in the foothills I had to darken the picture quite a bit, because the blowing drift snow in the mountains was extremely bright. Those clouds over the mountains are actually just drift snow thrown up by a rambunctious Chinook coming over the Rockies. The snow in the foreground was bright and sunlit. Only by darkening everything, as if I had put strong sun glasses in front of the camera, was I able to show the mountains and super bright drift-snow clouds.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Cameron Pittman, 20, St Petersburg, Florida Florida resident Cameron Pittman failed in his attempt to rob a shop with a PlayStation controller, not least because police officers walked into the convenience store in the middle of the fiasco. Mr Pittman was arrested by police in St Petersburg and charged with strong-arm robbery and violation of probation after trying to hold up staff in the Sunshine Foods outlet. According to Bay 9 News, the 20-year-old hid the 'Sony Playstation remote control' in his pocket and pretended it was a gun. When police officers walked in and caught him in the act, he dropped his, err, weapon and yielded to them. Mr Pittman was apparently a suspect in a previous robbery at a Subway restaurant in the same shopping plaza, hence the convenient arrival of the law (they'd received a nifty tip-off).
From Ginger Re: Not all pictures forward in my Gmail Dear Webby, I have Gmail accounts on both of my computers. On my desktop computer I can forward email messages with the graphics included. On the netbook when I try to forward a message I get the empty box with a red "X" where the graphics are. Is there a setting I need to change on my netbook to enable me to forward graphics? Thank you Ginger Dear Ginger Forwarding inline images To forward a message containing inline images, please ensure you have Rich formatting enabled.* To enable Rich formatting or to check whether you have it enabled: Click Compose Mail. Click Rich formatting >> above the blank text field of the message (if you don't see this link, you already have Rich formatting enabled and won't need to do anything else). Discard the blank message. With Rich formatting enabled, just open the message you'd like to forward, click Forward along the bottom of the message, and then click Send. * Note that Rich formatting is not available in Gmail's basic HTML view. Forward pictures in Gmail Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mineshaft. Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole! The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mineshaft in front of them! The man replied, "Oh no. That couldn't be MY goat, mine was tied to a railroad tie."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Revitalize Old Clothes I've just changed the buttons on an old coat and it looks just like a new one! I buy buttons in thrift stores (where you can find horn, mother-of-pearl, or brass ones) or take them off other pieces of clothing. I also often dye clothes - particularly woolens - to revitalize them. Beige or cream sweaters or cardigans, if they are looking grubby or dull, cab be dyed a brilliant cherry red or bright pink. Yellows, greens and blues should be dyed again somewhere in their own color range or the color looks a bit muddy. Use Dylon dyes which can go in the washing machine. They are not expensive. New buttons and colors give you a whole new wardrobe. By Lucy from UK http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A cat and a mouse walked into a restaurant. The mouse ordered a plate of cheese and crackers. The waiter asked the cat what he wanted and the mouse answered, "The cat is not hungry." The waiter said, "Why don't you let the cat answer for himself?" And the mouse said, "Think about it. If he were hungry, do you think I would be sitting here?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other. Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told me that he had lent it to his son. Recalling a saying my grandmother used to repeat, I recited, "You should never lend anything to your kids, because you will never get it back." And my neighbor said, "Well, it's not really my ladder. It's actually my dad's."

» Real Snail Mail






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Automatic mail sabotage 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, April 24, 2011
Happy Easter!

There is more to Easter than gas price gouging.
Remember what Easter is all about?

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die, the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather. --- Michael Pritchard Great and good are seldom the same man. ---Thomas Fuller
Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and didn't return home again until the Spring break. When he got off the plane, I was stunned at how much taller he looked. Measuring him at home, I discovered he now stood at 5 feet, 11 inches. Mark was as surprised as I. "Couldn't you tell by your clothes that you'd grown?" I asked. "Well, since I've been doing my own laundry," he replied, "I just figured everything had shrunk."
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! But you can fill a hard drive for mom between now and Mothers Day! ( If you start soon! )

Mitchell, a kindergartener, practiced spelling with magnetic letters on the refrigerator: "cat," "dog," "dad," and "mom" have been proudly displayed for all to see. One morning while getting ready for the day, Mitchell bounded into the room with his arms outstretched. In his hands were three magnetic letters: G-O-D. "Look what I spelled, Mom!" Mitch exclaimed, a proud smile on his face. "That's wonderful!" she said. "Now go put them on the fridge so Dad can see when he gets home tonight." That Christian education is certainly having an impact, she thought, happily. Just then, a little voice called from the kitchen. "Mom? How do you spell 'zilla?'"
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Anthony Garcia in California Gang Tattoo Leads To A Murder Conviction Inked on the chest of a Pico Rivera gang member was the detailed scene of a liquor store slaying that had stumped an L.A. County sheriff's investigator for more than four years. It leads to a jailhouse confession from Anthony Garcia - and a first-degree murder conviction. Details are at Tattoo Confession
From Malcolm Re: Auto... Moron Alert Dear Webby, At first I was really upset about your comments regarding auto... No, I better not write it out, so that your MaiWasher won't censor myletter. I have been teaching for 15 years, that a repsonder should be used. And you have the nerve, calling them "Moron Alerts"! While I was fuming and steaming and searching for some choice words, my wife and my mother agreed with you! Totally outnumbered, skunked. They told me the same as you did, just not as diplomatically. Eventually, I had to agree. They are a nuisance, and really not necessary. While an order summary is appreciated, a dumb mail telling me that somebody will answer during office hours is indeed rather dumb. I won't use or recomment moron alerts any more. Malcolm Dear Malcolm Glad you saw the light! Next we have to work on the snoots, who expect everybody to fill out a form, before their email is allowed through. Yeah, right. Their address gets blacklisted instantly. Believe it or not, some of them are so dumb, they expect a newsletter delivery program to fill out their childish form! I am very glad, that there are plenty of people, who ensure their email is not sabotaged with automatic nonsense. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

"What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late?" complained an irate passenger to the railroad engineer. "How would we know the trains were late, if we didn't have a schedule?" replied the engineer.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Buying Second Hand Clothing The best way to buy clothing is to buy them second-hand. A lot of people will not shop second-hand because they prefer their clothing brand new, but guess what? Once you've worn your new outfit once or twice it is now USED! Since I've come to that realization it's been a lot easier for me to shop at second-hand clothing stores. And the money saved can be phenomenal. By Wanda from Winnipeg, Manitoba http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Jill was speeding and an officer pulled her to the side of the road. She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window. After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?" "Yes, I do, officer," she replied. "Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A small boy was standing near an escalator in a department store watching the moving handrail. "Is there anything wrong?" asked a saleslady. "Nope," he said, I'm just waiting for my gum to come around again.

» Wandering Forest






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Some people don't get her email 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, April 23, 2011

There is more to Easter than gas price gouging.
Remember what Easter is all about?

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
The less you open your heart to others, the more your heart suffers. --- Deepak Chopra: You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. --- Olin Miller
It's graduation day, and everybody's going to get their diploma but Jon. At the assembly, the entire senior class stands up and shouts, "Let Jon graduate, let Jon graduate!" The principal agrees to give Jon one last chance. "If I have five apples in my right hand and five in my left hand, Jon, how many apples do I have?" he asked. Jon thought long and hard and then said, "Ten." At that the entire senior class stood up and shouted, "Give Jon another chance. Give Jon another chance!"
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! But you can fill a hard drive for mom between now and Mothers Day! ( If you start soon! )

Marge was royally peeved! She was arguing with the druggist because her favourite cure-all could no longer be bought without a prescription. "Look, lady. You can't have this without a prescription because it's been declared a habit-forming drug." "IT IS NOT!!!!" Screamed Margaret! "I ought to know: I've been taking it regularly for thirtyseven years!"
Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Bruce Manlove, 36, in Dover, Delaware Pre-Botched Hold-Up DOVER, Del. -- Dover police say a robber made their jobs easy by handing a convenience store clerk a demand note that had his name on the back. Thirty-six-year-old Bruce Manlove was arrested shortly after the robbery early Wednesday. He's accused of stealing 17 packs of Newport cigarettes. Police say Manlove walked into a 7-Eleven around 3:15 a.m. and handed the clerk a note that read, "This is a robbery." The clerk handed over the cigarettes but refused to give the note back. Police say the note was written on the back of Manlove's Department of Correction paperwork. Apparently Brucie Manlove really wanted to go back to his lover. And no, he was not allowed to take the robbed cigarettes along into jail.
From Jerry Re: Some people don't get my email Dear Webby, what could be causing my mail to work OK to some people but not to others. I don't spam, and I have no idea what could cause this. Some of the people who can't get my regular mail, get it OK if I mail to them by using a disposable hotmail address, like the one I am using for this mail. I even stopped getting your newsletter! Jerry Dear Jerry You won't get answers from a lot of people, because you have a "moron alert". (AutoResponder) In this day of mail overload, a lot of people put any address that results in nuisance autoresponder mails, into their spam block. Automatically. I do too. MailWasher recognizes autoresponders, and I set it to blacklist anybody, who is trying to waste my time with a silly auto-responder. Just get rid of your moron alert, change your address, and you won't have a problem. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

A small boy walked into a police station one day and said, I've got three big brothers and we all live in the same room. My eldest brother has seven cats. Another one has three dogs and the third has a goat. I want you to do something about the smell.“ Are the any windows in your room? “ asked the officer. Yes, of course there are! “ said the boy. Have you tried opening them? “ "I can't...all my pigeons would escape."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recycled Planters From Old Shoes Our PTA president had us ask the school for a week to bring in old shoes for our green theme. Lots of the children brought shoes and the PTA bought soil and seeds. We had the children come one class at a time. Any shoes that had holes, rips, or were very old we put soil in and about 6-8 seeds. The kids lined them up against one of the school's walls. The classes are taking turns watering their shoes and now one month later little sprouts are popping up. The children are so happy and so are we. By LisaLou from Los Angeles, CA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." "Oh? And what does your father do?" "He's in the Army, sir."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A wise schoolteacher sent this note to all parents: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.

» Crystal Cave






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Can you swap printer ink? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, April 22, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

It warmed up enough to finally wash the salt and mud off the car.
Luckily there were only a few small spots where I saw some rust.
If the sun comes out tomorrow, I will treat those with Naval Jelly
and convert the rust to Iron Phosphate. 

Same as every Easter weekend, the price of fuel as gone up. 
This time the official blame is put on Gadafi. His tankers
are getting blocked by the 28 country Anti-Gadafi Alliance.
None of that blocked oil is destined for here, but that is 
beside the point. It's all Gadafi's fault, just like it is his fault, 
that the poor innocent rebels are forced to use land mines,
RPGs, out of date cluster munitions and rocket launchers
without instructions.

Luckily the left wing media agrees, that it all is Gadafi's fault.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
On the topic of long Sermons: When ideas fail, words come in very handy. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. --- Horace Walpole
A worried Mrs. Murray sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. "How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?" "Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have two couples to dinner tonight." The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy. "Oh, darling," she said, "sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call a repairman I know who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I'll do everything. In fact, I'll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once." "George?" said the housewife. "Who's George?" "Why, George! Your husband! ....Is this 555-1374? "No, this is 555-1347." "Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number." There was a short pause and the housewife said, "Does this mean you're not coming over?"
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! But you can fill a hard drive for mom between now and Mothers Day! ( If you start soon! )

While the soldiers stood at attention during a parade, a private waved to someone in the audience. "Jones, never do that again!" the drill instructor whispered. But a few minutes later, the soldier waved a second time. Back in the barracks after the parade, the DI stormed in and barked for Jones to come front and center. "Son, you knew I was going to see you," he screamed. "You knew it was wrong. Aren't you afraid of me?" "Yes, SIR!" replied Jones. "But you don't know my mother! You better hide quickly. I can hear her truck approaching, SIR!"
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Desert Rose
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Brittany Marie Sterna-Lanaghan, 20, of Billings, Montana Woman charged $6K to fiance's dad's card BILLINGS, Mont. (UPI) -- Authorities in Montana said a woman admitted making nearly $6,000 in unauthorized purchases using her fiance's father's credit card. Brittany Marie Sterna-Lanaghan, 20, of Billings pleaded guilty Monday in District Judge Gregory Todd's courtroom to felony deceptive practices by common scheme, the Billings Gazette reported Tuesday. Sterna-Lanaghan admitted making 55 unauthorized transactions on the credit card of her prospective father-in-law, including wedding-related purchases. Under the plea agreement, prosecutors and Sterna-Lanaghan's public defender are recommending a six-year deferred sentence and a $500 fine. The agreement also requires her to write a letter of apology and pay $5,776 in restitution. The newspaper did not say if the wedding has been called off, postponed six years or what the plans are.
From Erin Re: Swap unused printer ink Dear Webby, My HP printer died shortly after the warranty expired. Their warranty timers are getting too accurate for my taste! I won't buy another HP ever! The problem is that I still have lots of ink for it. Can I trade that for ink for a different printer? Thanks Erin Dear Erin That depends entirely on where you bought the ink. If you got it from a good and respectable outfit like Atlantic Inkjet, it is no problem at all. You simply send the ink back to them and tell them what printer you got now. Usually within a few days you will get the ink for the new printer. We did that at least four times already, and there was never any problem. Regarding the HP warranty timers: Buy your printers from Staples and add the $10 extra warranty, put the paperwork into a shipping pouch and stick it to the bottom or side of the printer. When the warranty timer kills the printer, bring it back to Staples and they will exchange it for a new one. By the way, Atlantic Inkjet does have Laser Toner too! If you want to graduate from the short lived inkjet printers and move up to color lasers, Atlantic Inkjet has toner for my favorite, the Dell 1320c for under $25, and you can order just the colors that you actually need. Right now I got a bit over 117,000 on the counter on that old color laser printer, and never had a problem with it. As long as you use high quality toner, a good printer like that will last for many years. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

A lady had just finished taking a CPR course, and was on the lookout for a chance to try it out. As she left the shopping center, she saw a man lying on the road with a lot of people around him. Screaming, "I know CPR!", she ran to the person, threw her bag down, loosened all tight clothing and got ready to turn him around and start mouth-to-mouth. At this stage, a huge policeman tapped her on the shoulder and said: "Ma'am, I'm sure Ole appreciates your attention, but I am paying him by the quarter hour to try and fish my keys out of the storm sewer."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Plastic Grocery Bags Plastic bag clutter? Quickly smooth the bag. Starting on one side, roll into a sausage. Now tie it in a single knot then tuck each end in. This takes up the space of a small baseball and is neat and tidy. A small container with a lid will keep them contained. By Joan from Ontario, Canada http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Loosely wadded and stuffed into a plastic grocery bag, they make very light weight but very high performance insulation. Fill the attic with those bags, and/or the crawl space under the house or trailer. They won't rot or mildew or feed bugs. I lived in the Yukon for 30 years and KNOW how well those losely wadded up grocery bags work. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A Mormon acquaintance once pushed Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the Mormon demanded that Twain cite any passage of scripture expressly forbidding polygamy. "Nothing easier," Twain said. "No man can serve two masters."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Although he was a qualified meteorologist, Hopkins ran up a terrible record of forecasting the weather for the TV news program. He became something of a local joke when a newspaper began keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he'd been wrong almost three hundred times in a single year. That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired. He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job. One blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous position. Hopkins wrote, "The climate didn't agree with me."

» Eggzotica








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RAH 

Robert A. Heinlein Quotes



A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.

Never worry about theory as long as the machinery does what it's supposed to do.

Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow if tomorrow might improve the odds.

Being intelligent is not a felony. But most societies evaluate it as at least a misdemeanor.

No intelligent man has any respect for an unjust law.

A touchstone to determine the actual worth of an intellectual- find out how he feels about astrology.

Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.

The hardest part of gaining any new idea is sweeping out the false idea occupying that niche.

Progress is made by lazy men looking for easier ways to do things.

If you pray hard enough, water will run uphill. How hard? Why, hard enough to make water run uphill, of course!

Sex should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys; its more sanitary.

The three-legged stool of understanding is held up by history, languages, and mathematics. Equipped with these three you can learn anything you want to learn. But if you lack any one of them you are just another ignorant peasant with dung on your boots.

To get anywhere, or even to live a long time, a man has to guess, and guess right, over and over again, without enough data for a logical answer.

To stay young requires unceasing cultivation of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.

Sin lies only in hurting others unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense.

There is no worse tyranny than to force a man to pay for what he does not want merely because you think it would be good for him.

Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.

Men rarely (if ever) manage to dream up a god superior to themselves. Most gods have the manners and morals of a spoiled child.

In a society in which it is a moral offense to be different from your neighbor your only escape is never to let them find out.

Anyone can see a forest fire. Skill lies in sniffing the first smoke.

If "everybody knows" such-and-such, then it ain't so, by at least ten thousand to one.

Yield to temptation; it may not pass your way again.

An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire.

Obscurity is the refuge of incompetence.

Being right too soon is socially unacceptable.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

Most people can't think, most of the remainder won't think, the small fraction who do think mostly can't do it very well.

If you don't like yourself, you can't like other people.

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.

If you happen to be one of the fretful minority who can do creative work, never force an idea; you'll abort it if you do. Be patient and you'll give birth to it when the time is ripe. Learn to wait.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Of all the strange "crimes" that human beings have legislated out of nothing, "blasphemy" is the most amazing, with "obscenity" and "indecent exposure" fighting it out for second and third place.

Belief gets in the way of learning.

Humans hardly ever learn from the experience of others. They learn - when they do, which isn't often - on their own, the hard way.

No matter where or what, there are makers, takers, and fakers.

One man's "magic" is another man's engineering. "Supernatural" is a null word.

It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.




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The Prince 


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Can you swap printer ink? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, April 21, 2011

Some of the snow is disappearing. There are very few puddles.
With the dry wind, it just evaporates and heads East. There is
more snow forecast for later today, but then no snow at all for
the weekend and for next week! We will have spring yet!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
When making decisions for yourself, you should use your head; When making decisions that involve other people, use your heart. --- Socratex "If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers." --- Doug Larson
A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, "Marian, Marian!" Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, "You shouldn't call me 'Marian.' I'm your mother, you know." "I know," said the child, wise beyond his years, "but the store is full of mothers!"
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! But you can fill a hard drive for mom between now and Mothers Day! ( If you start soon! )

The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair. "You've got to help me. I'm losing my memory, Doctor," he sobbed. "I once had a successful business, a wife, home and family; I was a respected member of the community. But all that's gone now. Since my memory began failing, I've lost the business - I couldn't remember my clients' names. My wife and children have left me, too; and why shouldn't they - some nights I wouldn't get home until four or five in the morning. I'd forget where I lived...And it's getting worse. Doctor - it's getting worse!" "This is not an unusual form of neurosis," the psychiatrist said soothingly. There are ways to deal with that, in a rigid sequence of events. The first one is for you to pay me in advance." "Anything, Doc. Here's my VISA." After that was taken care of, he asked the psychiatrist: "OK, now what is the second of those rigidly scheduled events?" The shrink hemmed and hawed a bit, then admitted: "Hmmm, I seem to have forgotten that. I'll have to read up on it. Now, what was it again that you wanted treated?"
Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kendra Colvin, 26, in Crestview, Florida Beer heist CRESTVIEW — Kendra Colvin, 26, was charged with stealing beer from a Tom Thumb without entering the convenience store. On April 2, Kendra Colvin drove her red Chevrolet Impala to the Tom Thumb at 994 James Lee Boulevard. She parked the car at the edge of the parking lot, which was out of the sight of the cashier. The woman’s helper, identified only as “Nikki,” went into the store, grabbed an 18-pack of Bud Light beer, shoved it under her shirt and left the store without paying, according to an arrest report from the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office. The cashier followed Nikki out of the store and took down the license plate of the Impala. Later, the 26-year-old owner of the Impala dropped Nikki off at an unknown location, the report said. The driver was charged with larceny, a second degree misdemeanor and released on $500 bail.
From Erin Re: Unused printer ink Dear Webby, My HP printer died shortly after the warranty expired. Their warranty timers are getting too accurate for my taste! I won't buy another HP ever! The problem is that I still have lots of ink for it. Can I trade that for ink for a different printer? Thanks Erin Dear Erin That depends entirely on where you bought the ink. If you got it from a good and respectable outfit like Atlantic Inkjet, it is no problem at all. You simply send the ink back to them and tell them what printer you got now. Usually within a few days you will get the ink for the new printer. We did that at least four times already, and there was never any problem. Regarding the HP warranty timers: Buy your printers from Staples and add the $10 extra warranty, put the paperwork into a shipping pouch and stick it to the bottom or side of the printer. When the warranty timer kills the printer, bring it back to Staples and they will exchange it for a new one. By the way, Atlantic Inkjet does have Laser Toner too! If you want to graduate from the short lived inkjet printers and move up to color lasers, Atlantic Inkjet has toner for my favorite, the Dell 1320c for under $25, and you can order just the colors that you actually need. Right now I got a bit over 117,000 on the counter on that old color laser printer, and never had a problem with it. As long as you use high quality toner, a good printer like that will last for many years. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate. The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again, even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result. "This guy must have messed up the settings," the off-duty officer thought. A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: each for not wearing a seat belt!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Plastic Coffee Can Yarn Holder Someone wrote in that she rolls her yarn into a ball and puts it in a coffee can with a hole in the lid for the yarn to come up through. I tried that, but the edge of the plastic lid kept cutting the yarn. So I came up with a better method. I still use the coffee can and its plastic lid. But I cut the hole much larger. Then I take a circle of plastic canvas and cut out the center of it just a few rounds in. After doing this I use double strands of yarn and whip stitch all the way around to cover the edge completely. But I only do this for the edge. Next I glue the unworked plastic canvas to the under side of the plastic lid. Now my yarn comes up nicely without catching or breaking. By Cricketnc from Parkton, NC http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ That sounds like an awful lot of tedious work! Get two small self-stick glue-on dish towel hooks per can. Glue them inside the can near the top on opposite sides. Stretch a rubber band between the hooks and pull the yarn or wool out between or beside the rubber band. The rubber band will keep the yarn ball from jumping out, even when it encounters a tangle. And when you ar done for the day, you can snap the lid on for a dustproof cover. After all, keeping the yarn or wool clean is the reason for the can in the first place! If you don't have access to the dish towel hooks, just poke holes from the inside of the can out, poke a loop of the rubber band out through the hole and anchor it with a short piece of uncooked spaghetti or match. Using a rubber band for the "keeper" allows fast and easy replacement of the ball. I don't do needle work, but for 15 years did my best to reduce my girlfriend's cussing. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Jill complained to Nina, "Rosey told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her." "Well," replied Nina in a hurt tone, "I told her not to tell you I told her." "Oh dear!" sighed Jill. "Well, don't tell her I told you that she told me." ------------- That reminds me: A womans definition of a secret: Gossip which is spread only one person at a time.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled around, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!" Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I . . . I . . . didn't pinch that girl." "Of course you didn't," said his wife, consolingly. "I did."

» Newspaper House






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What is a double extension? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, April 20, 2011

It didn't snow today, but people sure kept looking over towards
th mountains. There is a lot of fresh snow over there, no bare
rocks showing anywhere. The general feeling is that the delay
of spring is winding up a slingshot. If it stays cold unti May,
and then a hot May sun hits this mess, there is going to be
a lot of flooding.

I am going to test my basement sump pump today.

Usually, after we have a flood, I see quite a few hot water 
tanks out on the lawns, waiting for a trip to the dump.
This time I plan to snag one or two, and put them up into 
my attic. Initially they will just use waste heat, from when 
the sun heats up the space between the roof and the insulation,
and they will pre-heat the water, that goes to the water heater. 
That way the heater just has to top it off a bit, instead of
starting with icy cold water from the feed line.

Since the water heater remains as my biggest energy consumer,
that will make the biggest difference of anything I can do.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"Isn't it funny that the same people, who laugh at science fiction, listen to weather forecasts and economists?" --- Dianne
Thanks to Mike from http://10000birds.com/ for this story: A duck walks into a pet store and says to the clerk, “Got any duck food?” “No,” says the clerk, “we only sell dog food and cat food.” “OK,” says the duck and walks out. The next day the duck walks in the store and says, “Uh, got any duck food?” The clerk once again replies, “No, like I told you, we only sell cat food and dog food.” “OK,” says the duck and walks out. The next day the duck walks in the store and says, “Uh, got any duck food?” The clerk says, “Hey look, I told you two times already that we only sell cat food and dog food!” “OK,” says the duck and walks out. The next day the duck walks in the store and says, “Uh, got any duck food?” This time the clerk yells, “We don’t sell any duck food and if you come in here one more time asking, I am going to nail your little webbed feet to the ground!” “OK,” says the duck and walks out. The next day the duck walks in the store and says, “Uh, got any nails?” “No,” says the confused clerk. Then the duck says, “Got any duck food?”
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! But you can fill a hard drive for mom between now and Mothers Day! ( If you start soon! )

"Good afternoon, Landlord, a pint of Less if you please," said the old man. "Less? Never heard of it," replied the barman. "Oh, come now surely you have," he persisted. "No sorry, we certainly don't stock it. What is it anyway? Some foreign beer?" "Well I'm not sure," admitted the man. "It was the doctor who mentioned it. He said I should drink LESS."
Thanks to Ch uck for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. "Don'tKnowNameApr0610" Have FUN! DearWebby
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Rita Counts, 48, of Wellington, Florida Woman arrested after remote attack WELLINGTON, Fla. (UPI) -- Authorities in Florida said a woman who used a remote control to strike her husband was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon. The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office said the husband of Rita Counts, 48, of Wellington, called authorities following a Monday night argument, the Palm Beach (Fla.) Post reported Thursday. The 50-year-old husband, whose name was not released, told deputies his wife had struck him on the head with a remote control and on his head and arms with a telephone during the argument. A deputy's report said the man had "visible red and black bruises which were caused by Rita." Rita Counts iss being held without bail on a charge of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.
From Marge Re: What are Double Extensions Dear Webby, I do not understand what you mean by two extensions. Do you mean paper clips or forwards? Please explain. Thank you. Marge Dear Marge Sometimes people send you a mail that has a file attached. It could be a picture, music, accounting spreadsheet, ot it could be some nuisance stuff like a virus or a worm. Each filename has an extension, like color coding, that tells the computer what to do with it. If the file "sunrise" is a picture, then probably the extension would be ".jpg" or ".gif" When your computer sees ".jpg" or ".gif" at the end of a file, it knows that it is a picture and it opens the file with a picture viewer or picture editor. If the extension is ".xls" or ".wb4" then Windows knows it is a spreadsheet file and opens it with the right program. Many viruses are hidden by giving them first a safe looking extension and then tackig a different one behind it. If you see for example a file like "backdoor.jpg.bat", then that file is not a picture, but is a program that installs a backdoor for hackers into your computer, and probably also sends itself to everybody in your Outlook or Outlook Express address book. Therefore, whenever you see more than one extension on a file, dump it fast and thoroughly. If you don't see ANY extension at the ends of file names, then either Microsoft or a hacker has turned that off. In that case, open a File Explorer right-click START Explore Tools Folder Options View In there go through all the confusing looking options and make it SHOW all extensions. Don't let it hide anything from you. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

There are two kinds of home-repair projects: those too big to undertake yourself and those too small to bother with. The first kind, you can't afford, and the second kind, if left alone long enough, will develop into something you can't afford either.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Baskets To Organize Refrigerator And Freezer I find that if I use wire baskets (or plastic) to organize my freezer and refrigerator, it is so much easier to find things and also to clean them. I move the oldest items in the freezer to the bottom bin so they get used sooner. This has saved me a lot of time looking for things. By desertgal from Phoenix, AZ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
One morning, while shaving, a fellow started cursing and swearing so loudly it attracted the attention of his wife, who was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. "What's the matter?" she called out. "My razor -- it won't cut!" he answered. "Don't be silly, dear!" she declared. "You mean to tell me your beard is tougher than linoleum?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Sign posted in the Army recruiting office: "Marry a veteran, Girls! He can cook, make beds, sew, and is already used to taking orders."

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Are double extensions ever safe ? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Thank you John McC

The sun was out today! It wasn't warm enough to melt much snow,
but it felt good to stand in sheltered spots out of the wind 
and enjoy the rays of the sun.

When I went for my walk to the post office after 5, I noticed
that most houses had bare roofs, and only a few still had snow
on them. That makes it really easy to tell, who has proper 
insulation and who is wasting their heating money.

My roof has lots of snow on it. I use a good vapor barrier
in the ceiling, sealed the idiotic attic vents, that the
furnace fuel merchants talked the previous owners into,
and over the years heaved hundreds of shopping bags,
filled with losely wadded up shopping bags and egg cartons,
up there. The insulation value is probably around R-400,
and all those bags are sitting on top of the R-6 insulation,
that was up there, when I bought the house.

Some friends suggested I should patent my ideas about
insulation. Nah, waste of money. With ideas THAT good
and effective, you can't force most people to copy them,
and the rare ones who ARE smart enough, they deserve
a freebie.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. --- Socratex It is bad luck to be superstitious. --- Socratex
The trendy dresser fancied himself quite a romeo, and was delighted to find a note pinned inside a new shirt. It contained a girl's name and address, and asked the recipient to send a photograph. How romantic, he thought to himself, very taken with the idea of this mystery woman so eager to meet him, and promptly mailed off a note and a photo. Heart aflutter, he opened her response. It read, "Thanks for writing. I was just curious to see what kind of guy would buy such a goofy shirt."
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! But you can fill a hard drive for mom between now and Mothers Day! ( If you start soon! )

One day a salesman stopped by the Jammer Jones farm, knocked, and Jammer's wife Frannie came to the door. "Is your husband home, Ma'am?" he asked. "Sure is. He's over at the cow barn." "Well, I got something to show him, Ma'am. Will I have any difficulty finding him?" "Shouldn't have any difficulties... He's the one with the beard, mustache and glasses, - and no horns."
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Black-Swans-in-the-distance Sorry for the slight fuzz, but it was an awfully long zoom to the other side of that lake. Sandie Don't worry, Sandie! It is a great picture and Milions of times better than all the pictures, that were not taken because of worry about fuzz. Have FUN! DearWebby
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Harry Lee Gray, 67, in Fort Pierce, Florida Cyclist says man in electric wheelchair chased her around parking lot on three days ST. LUCIE COUNTY, Fla. - Police arrested a 67-year-old man after a woman said he “charged” her in his electric wheelchair, crashing into her bicycle after chasing her around a parking lot on three days. The victim earlier this week told Fort Pierce police she was on her bicycle when Harry Lee Gray “charged her in his electric wheelchair” at an address in the 600 block of Avenue B, according to a recently released arrest affidavit. She said Gray purposely crashed into her leg and bicycle, knocking her off. Further, she said he picked up the bike, which her late father had given to her, and “slammed” it down, causing the front tire to come off. “(The victim) stated that Gray has chased her on the last three days around the parking lot, but she never called the police,” an affidavit states. Gray, who police said appeared “very intoxicated,” denied doing anything. He then offered the woman money to repair the bike. Witnesses said they saw Gray knock the victim from the bicycle before picking it up and slamming it down. “It should be noted that Gray is not wheelchair bound, and he can walk” the affidavit states. Gray, of the 600 block of Avenue B in Fort Pierce, was arrested on misdemeanor battery and criminal mischief charges.
From Lynn Re: Double Extensions Dear Webby, I know you said to always trash any attachments that have two extensions, because they never have anythin worthwhile but usually something harmful. My brother sent me a letter that had an attachment with two extensions, so I deleted it and told him to clean up his act. He told me they are not bad, and that it can happen when one picks up a page saved from the net and opens it with a spreadsheet program. He told me not to worry about double extensions. Lynn Dear Lynn Yes, it could happen, if somebody is too absentminded to save a file properly, just like it can happen, that somebody like him watches people on the other side of the street,- and walks into a lightpole. Only somebody who has walked into too many light poles would tell others to not worry about double extensions. There may be the odd harmless ooops, but with double extensions the hostile and dangerous files outnumber the ooopses by a Million to one. With viruses and worms it is much smarter to err on the safe side. You did the smart thing. Have FUN DearWebby
Internet TV 100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market. Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30 60 day money back guarantee! User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of TV channels! Internet TV is also a perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

"Here's something that will really make you feel grown up," said a father to his teenage daughter, "Your very own phone bill."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Baskets To Organize Refrigerator And Freezer I find that if I use wire baskets (or plastic) to organize my freezer and refrigerator, it is so much easier to find things and also to clean them. I move the oldest items in the freezer to the bottom bin so they get used sooner. This has saved me a lot of time looking for things. By desertgal from Phoenix, AZ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
On a U.S. cruiser the officer of the deck asked the starboard lookout, "What would you do if a sailor was washed overboard?" "I'd yell 'Man overboard,'" answered the lookout snappily. "Good," said the officer. "Now what would you do if an officer fell overboard?" The lookout asked, "Which one, sir?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Here is an old classic, returned by Collette: During a friendly argument, my husband asked me why I married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," I teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, I requested an explanation. "People get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid."

» Darling Starlings






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Nozzle Rage 




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How to make icon text background transparent? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, April 18, 2011

Sunday it snowed most of the day, but surprisingly, the snow on
the ground did not increase. Some time you could just barely 
make out the sun behind the clouds, and that was enough to
warm some of the sidewalks and some of the streets, 
so that the snow melted and evaporated as fas as it fell.

It felt eerie, seeing snow falling, and dry sidewalks.
Didn't stop me from my walk.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win." --- Joey Adams
Jill was out driving her car and while stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection and the traffic behind her grew quickly. The man in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously, as Jill continued trying to get the car to started again. Finally, Jill got out of her car and approached the man in the car behind her. She smiled and said to him, "I can't seem to get my car started. Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and honk your horn for you."
Download movies, from recent releases to old classics. Full movies in DVD quality Legal and direct, not file sharing! $5 per month for unlimited downloads short term, about $1 per month for unlimited downloads long term. No installation or extra hardware Required! You do not need to be computer experienced to download and watch movies. Simply register, login, and start downloading FULL DVD movies, LEGALLY! * "Unlimited" does not refer to YOUR hard drive space! But you can fill a hard drive for mom between now and Mothers Day!

A woman was having a medical problem - her husband snoring. So she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering." "Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $2500 down, and payments of $550 for 24 months, plus payments for extras." "My goodness!" the woman exclaimed, "sounds like leasing a new sports car!" "Humm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?"
Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a Florida bank robber Dye pack explodes in suspect's pocket WINTER PARK, Fla., April 13 (UPI) -- Police in Florida said a dye pack exploded in a bank robbery suspect's pocket, injuring him and leading to his being detained by restaurant workers. Winter Park police said the man, whose identity was not released, used a threatening note to rob the Bank of America on Aloma Avenue about 11:20 a.m. Tuesday and fled with an undisclosed amount of cash, the Orlando Sentinel reported Wednesday. Police said the suspect was injured when the dye pack hidden in the stolen cash exploded in his pocket and he attempted to hide inside the nearby Giovanni's Italian Restaurant. However, restaurant workers chased the man out of the business and eventually caught up with and detained him until police arrived. The nature of the man's injury was not released.
From Nathan Re: Icon text background Dear Webby, On my desktop the icons and the words under them used to have an invisble background and it looked Good...But I made my own background and now the words have colors behind them. Is there a way to get the invisibilty back again? Thank you for your time!! Nathan Dear Nathan In Windows XP Open System Properties In Control Panel, choose the Advanced tab, click Settings in the Performance section. Turn on the Use drop shadows for icon labels on the desktop option, and click Ok. Have FUN DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book. Download and use right away. Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park --the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. Everything there was, she had a go. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Into McDonalds they went, where she was given a Double Big Mac with extra fries and a strawberry shake. Then off to a theater to see Star Wars--more burgers, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually I meant dress size."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Lid to Measure Vanilla When using vanilla or other flavor extracts in a recipe, you can save your measuring spoon and use the lid instead. The lid on every bottle of vanilla I've used for years holds almost exactly 1 tsp. Check yours and see if I'm right! After you measure into the lid, be sure to wipe it out with a paper towel, or do as I do and just run the lid under water and shake it dry. If you put the lid back on without rinsing or cleaning it, it will stick shut the next time you try to use it. By lyonpridej from Tulsa, OK http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The two teenagers were arrested for public lewdness and possession of marijuana when they were found naked, each smoking a joint, sitting on the edge of the fountain in the town square. The arresting officer told them they were entitled to a phone call, since he was unable to reach either parent. Some time later, a man entered the station and the sergeant said, "I suppose you're the kids' lawyer." "Nope," the chap replied. "I'm just here to deliver a pizza."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A husband, proving to his wife that women talk more than men, showed her a study which indicated that men use about 15,000 words a day, whereas women use 30,000 words a day. She thought about this, then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to r epeat everything they say. Looking stunned, he said, "What?"

» Oh Oh






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Reverse phone number look-up 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, April 17, 2011

Friends from both sides in Libya have sent me pictures and 
videos. 

Considering that the 28 Allied countries are busy testing
their equipment and smashing the infrastructure safely far 
away from any action, the rebels are getting frustrated and
are demanding weapons and ammo and missiles.

The Government side points out that the rebels are killing
more than enough people already with weapons and ammo,
that they stole from the government, and that the Allies are
just making it worse. The death toll is getting almost as bad
as weekends in New Orleans!

About the only thing they all agree on, is that they would 
rather be somewhere outside of Libya.

What puzzles me is why are those 28 countries doing all
their weapons testing in Libya?

Yes, I know, they are too chicken to tackle Iran or 
North Korea or Venezuela or Somalia.

However, with Somalia they could get China and Russia
to help them. Then they COULD bring the piracy issue
to an end.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
A little boy came home from the playground with a bloody, nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said the boy, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons." "Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair." "I know, but I never thought he'd choose his big sister!"
A high school senior saw an inspirational advertisement on television about becoming a teacher. She called the number shown: 1-800-45TEACH. After a woman answered, the student babbled on about how she thought she had found her life's calling and could she send her some information. The lady who answered the phone asked the student what number she was calling. The student told her and there was a pause. Then the lady told her, "You misspelled TEACH."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply USING certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. It's not a matter of buying stuff, just use what you got in smarter combinations. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

In Kabul this morning, the Minister of the Department of National Security held a meeting of all the Karzai "doubles." "I have good news, and some bad news for you all. The good news is, our illustrious leader, Hamid Karzai, is alive!", he announced. A great cheer erupted within the room. "The bad news is that that he lost his testicles and an arm. Corrective surgery for you guys is scheduled for 10 am"
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Christian Brock, 21, of Dacula, GA Felon with road rage picks on deputy A Gwinnett County felon who picked on the wrong guy during a bout of alleged road rage near Loganville was ordered held without bond at his first court appearance Friday. Police told Channel 2 Action News that Christian Brock, 21, of Dacula, tried to run another driver off Georgia 20 around 11 p.m. Wednesday. It didn't end well for Brock. The other driver was Deputy Paul Frederick of the Gwinnett County Sheriff's Office, who was commuting to work in his own car. The deputy told Channel 2 Action News that the driver swerved to hit him two or three times. "I made every attempt to avoid the situation, slowing down, stopping and he still tried to run into my vehicle," Frederick said in a report by the TV station Thursday. Frederick said he called dispatch, and Gwinnett County police officers arrested Brock. When police searched his car, Frederick said they found a gun, loaded and cocked. The deputy told Channel 2 Action News that police also found Tasers, drugs and black gloves. Brock, who was charged with reckless conduct, aggressive driving, marijuana possession, possession of a firearm by a convicted felon and violation of probation, appeared in court at the Gwinnett County Jail on Friday morning, and a magistrate ordered him held without bond until his preliminary hearing on April 21. Brock told Judge Phyllis Russell that he had been unemployed since November, and asked the judge for a court-appointed attorney.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Wilma Re: Reverse telephone look-up Dear Webby, Do you know of any Reverse Telephone Look-Ups that are really free? The ones I find will come back saying they found the number; but if you want the name or anything they charge you...even the ones that say free aren't. wilma Dear Wilma I don't think there are any free ones, that are reliable. If somebody is harassing you, tell the cops. If they are not harassing you, harass them! Or put them on hold until after supper. Have FUN DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book. Download and use right away. Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said "Chopsticks are provided only on request." "But," the man countered, "if you gave your patrons chop- sticks, you wouldn't have to pay someone to wash all the forks." "True," the waiter shot back, "but we would have to hire three extra people to clean up the mess."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use The Other Side Of Swiffer Pads When I use the disposable Swiffer type cleaning cloths, I flip them over to use the clean side before tossing them in the trash. This works well with the dry dust mop cloths. It doubles the use of each cloth. The wet ones do ok, but not as well. They seem to tear and pull out of the base when flipped. By Priscilla from Lawton, OK http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ I have been using a micro-fiber dust mop for about a dozen years. Usually I just shake it out in the wind, out on the deck, sometimes I vacuum it, and now and then I toss it into the laundry with jeans. With real Micro-Fiber you have to avoid dryer sheets and if possible, the dryer alltogether. Drying it in a good wind works best to make them real dust magnets. I have seen people use those expensive Swiffers and they don't seem to work nearly as well. I will probably get another twenty years out of it, before I have to think about replacing it. The same goes for my wet mop. It actually is just a heavy string mop, also with a Micro-Fiber material. Not a round yacht mop, but a classic flat string mop like you probably rememember from your school days. Yes, I know, it is heavy, even when it is just damp, and too heavy for one handed use, unless you have industry strengthened arms, but the weight of the mop works to it's advantage and high gloss vinyl and hardwood floors come up shiny with just one pass of the dampened mop. The thought of wasting money on periodic replacements just makes me laugh. It will probably outlive me. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The battery in John's beat-up VW beetle had died because he left the lights on overnight. He was in a hurry to get to work on time so he ran into the house to get his wife to give him a push to start the car. John told her to get into her car, a prehistoric, oversized gas guzzler, and use it to push the VW fast enough to start it. John pointed out to her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it needed to be pushed at a speed of at least 40 MPH for it to start. She said fine, hoped into her car and drove off. John sat there fuming, wondering what could be taking her so long. A minute passed by and then he saw her in the rearview mirror, coming at him at about 50 MPH. It was then that John realized that he should have been A LOT clearer with his directions....
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A friend of mine took her four-year-old daughter to a baptismal service at her church. Later that night, her daughter took all of her dolls into the bathtub with her and held her own "baptism." As she dunked each doll under the water, she repeated, "Now I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and hold your nose."

» Flora and Fauna






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In The Good Old Days 

The Washington Post had a contest wherein participants were asked to tell the younger generation how much harder they had it "in the old days."
Winners, runners-up, and honorable mentions are listed below.


Second Runner-Up:

In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.

First Runner-Up:

In my day, we didn't have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that stuff. No, it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always skipped, so to get them to play right you'd weigh the needle down with something like quarters, which we never had because our allowances were way too small, so we'd use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn't adjust our skates, which didn't really matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real pebbles on them not like today.

And the winner:

In my day, we didn't have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.

Honorable Mentions:

In my day, we didn't have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes.

In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.

In my day, we didn't get that disembodied, slightly tickedoff voice saying 'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out, it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar.

In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.

Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise.

Back in my day, '60 Minutes' wasn't just a bunch of grayhaired, liberal 80-year-old guys. It was a bunch of grayhaired, liberal 60-year-old guys.

Back in my day, they hadn't invented electricity. We had to watch television by candlelight.

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Mouse occasionally very slow 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, April 16, 2011

Had to laugh today about some of the claims of the Libyan
rebels. They accused Gadafi of using Cluster Bombs.
Did they forget that Gadafi's planes all got trashed sitting 
on the ground, weeks ago? Anything flying and dropping
bombs belongs to the rebels or the 28 countries of the 
Anti-Gadafi Alliance.

The media spin doctors also blame the shelling from the
Allied ships on Gadafi.

Hmm, maybe I can blame the blizzard and lousy spring on
Gadafi too?

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. Glibido: All talk and no action. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. People will pay more to be entertained than educated. --- Johnny Carson
A hillbilly was making his first visit to a hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation. Watching the doctor's every move, he asked, "What's that?" The doctor explained, "This is an anesthetic. After he gets this he won't know a thing." "Save your time, Doc," exclaimed the man. "He don't know nothing now."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Lately at a restaurant I overheard the couple at the next table discuss their bill. "Well Mary," said the man, "Near as I can figure, based of the price of the ham dinner you just ate, we got a hog back on the farm worth at least $ 137,000."
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Hot Air Ballon Flight Reflection from lake below. That is probably the best balloon picture I have ever seen! Great shot, Sandie!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Borys Wrzesnewskyj, Liberal Minister of Parliament in Toronto, Ontario King of Sleaze [youtube_com] http://snipurl.com/king-of-sleaze While distributing toys collected by firefighters, Borys consistently neglected to mention the firefighters bad made sure everybody knew who HE is, Borys Wrzesnewskyj, Liberal Minister of Parliament Most people thought that was merely tacky and typical for Ignatieff's crew, some considered it rather sleazy. I doubt that the firefighters here in the West would let him get away with that, but in Toronto he is fairly safe.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Verna from Beechy Re: Slow mouse Dear Webby, Me again with desktop issues this time.... Computer: iNET pro, Pentium 4 CPU, 2.80GHz, 448 MB of RAM, Windows XP with Microsoft (cordless) mouse and keyboard. Mouse and keyboard have become, periodically, very sluggish. Batteries checked OK. Have checked connection on receiver/ transmitter (??) and it appears OK, and is placed very close to both hardware components. At times, both work well, and all of a sudden there is a delay of response to keystrokes or mouse movement. There do not appear to be any updates to the drivers..... Suggestions??? (other than 'corded' components!) Thanks again. Verna Dear Verna How are you? We got blizzard again. I would check to see if you have a virus scan or defrag going on and taking priority. They can really drag things down. Since it does work OK at times, it is not hardware or drivers. Have FUN DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

With the quality of education declining in the U.S. the IRS is considering a new simplified tax form where all you have to do is color it in.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Backs Of School Notices As Scratch Paper When the children bring notices home and I don't need them, I rip them in half and use them as scrap paper. I leave them near the phones. The ones I use are the ones that have empty back sides. By Lorraine from Venice, FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ The insides of junk-mail envelopes also make handy scratch paper, and there is always a good supply of it. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were for. "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his older brother explained. "Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go, He shows up!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A little girl asked her mother for a dollar to give to an old lady in the park. Her mother was touched by the child's kindness, and gave her the dollar. "There you are, my dear," said the mother. "But, tell me, isn't the lady able to work any more?" "Oh yes," came the reply. "She sells candy."

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How to stop the computer from shutting down 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, April 15, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Thank you Jurrie!

Yesterday morning we had 25 cm (10") fresh snow on top of the 
old snow and the few bare patches. The weather office claims,
they will use a new forecast for May, but not to expect a lot
of changes between now and then. Sounds like 1970's weather.

Once the snow is gone, I am going to put a ladder up the side
of the house and overhaul the office air conditioner. It will 
proably be running a LOT this summer. The 70's had cold and 
late springs and absolute scorchers for summers.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Home is where you can say anything you like because nobody listens to you anyway --- Socratex
Ancient Burma Shave poems. Once upon a time, before the big billboards became popular, these were on simple boards along the highways all across the country. DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD TO GAIN A MINUTE YOU NEED YOUR HEAD YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT Burma Shave DROVE TOO LONG DRIVER SNOOZING WHAT HAPPENED NEXT IS NOT AMUSING Burma Shave BROTHER SPEEDER, LET'S REHEARSE; ALL TOGETHER, GOOD MORNING NURSE Burma Shave CAUTIOUS RIDER TO HER RECKLESS DEAR LET'S HAVE LESS BULL AND LOTS MORE STEER Burma Shave SPEED WAS HIGH WEATHER WAS NOT TIRES WERE THIN X MARKES THE SPOT Burma Shave THE MIDNIGHT RIDE OF PAUL FOR BEER LED HIM TO A WARMER HEMISPHERE Burma Shave AROUND THE CURVE LICKETY-SPLIT A BEAUTIFUL NEW CAR WASN'T IT Burma Shave NO MATTER THE PRICE NO MATTER HOW NEW THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE IN THE CAR IS YOU Burma Shave A GUY WHO DRIVES A CAR WIDE OPEN IS NOT THINKIN' HE'S JUST HOPIN' Burma Shave AT INTERSECTIONS LOOK EACH WAY A HARP SOUNDS NICE BUT ITS HARD TO PLAY Burma Shave BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL EYES ON THE ROAD THAT'S THE SKILLFUL DRIVER'S CODE Burma Shave THE ONE WHO DRIVES WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING DEPENDS ON YOU TO DO HIS THINKING Burma Shave CAR IN DITCH DRIVER IN TREE THE MOON WAS FULL AND SO WAS HE. Burma Shave
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

A small company that had frequent break-ins installed a new security system with alarms, codes and key pads. Late one night the alarm went off and the police raced to the scene. Outside the building, wandering around the grounds, they spotted and apprehended a suspect. The police called the Security Director for the company and said, "We caught the culprit, an old guy with a cane, well dressed, but kinda slow. He tried to pass as an employee, but he knows nothing about your business." The Security Director said, "Oh, that's the president of the company. He can never remember his exit code."
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Roberta Spen, 64, Coral Springs, Florida. Instead of pulling over for police, Coral Springs woman pulls into McDonald’s drive-thru, orders lunch Police say when an officer tried to pull over Roberta Spen, 64, Monday for having faulty brake lights, she instead pulled into a McDonald's drive-thru lane and ordered lunch. The bizarre exchange happened along University Drive just south of Atlantic Boulevard at about 2 p.m., and it spawned an all-out police pursuit. Officer Courtney Vassell pulled up behind Spen in the drive-thru lane, and got out of the patrol car. With police lights flashing behind him, he told her to pull out into the parking lot for a traffic stop, according to a police report. Spen, though, completed her food order, paid the bill, and then drove her bronze 2001 Chevrolet out of the parking lot and onto Northwest Sixth Court, Vassell said. Vassell again flipped on his siren and stopped Spen outside the McDonald's, where he said she "rolled her window down one inch and said she was not speeding and she would not roll her window down." Spen also refused to hand over her driver's license, vehicle registration and proof of insurance, then drove away from Vassell, police said. Vassell got back in his patrol car, flipped on his emergency lights again, and followed Spen as she turned north onto Northwest 98th Avenue, east onto Atlantic and then north on University Drive. Several other police officers joined in the pursuit. Although the police lights did not stop Spen, a red light at University and Ramblewood Drive did, and several officers attempted to box in Spen's car. Somehow, though, Spen was able to drive in reverse out of the box and continued driving north on University, police said. Spen finally stopped at the Mobil gas station at 1351 University Drive, where officers again surrounded her car. This time, when she refused to leave the car, the officers went in and got her smashing the driver's side window and pulling her out the hard way, police said. After a quick check-up at Coral Springs Medical Center, Spen was taken to a Broward jail, arrested on charges of fleeing and eluding, resisting arrest without violence and driving with defective equipment. Police said on the arrest report that they found no indication Spen was under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the time of the chase, and they could find no explanation for why Spen, who before her arrest Monday had no criminal record in Florida, didn't just pull over. In bond court Tuesday Judge John "Jay" Hurley ordered her release under the condition she submit to a mental health evaluation.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rose Re: Mystery Shut Down Dear Webby, Glad to see you're health is returning.....you'd be missed it you got worse. I've got an odd problem with my Dell XP computer, It keeps shutting itself off, for no apparent reason. I checked the Settings but nothing indicates whyh that happens. tt's driving me up the sall, specially when I'm in the midst of something imprtant. Using an antiquated 'puter to send this to you. Any advice you can give (other tyhan tossing the beast) would be greatly appreciated. Rose Dear Rose I would vacuum out the computer and clean all the heat sinks. The shrouds over them snap off with a bit of fiddling. If it still does it after a thorough cleaning, call DELL's 1-800 support number. . On a DELL, there is some diagnostic stuff in a hidden partition. They will guide you over the phone through activating that diagnostic software and they can figure out from there, whether your CPU is overheating or whether your power supply is getting flakey. Have FUN DearWebby
Trick Photography and Special Effects E-Book Become unique, creative and artistic by taking breathtaking photographs that blow people's minds away! Dozens of rare trick photography ideas are included in this 190 page e-book. Buy Tricks Now!

With the quality of education declining in the U.S. the IRS is considering a new simplified tax form where all you have to do is color it in.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Toilet Paper Seed Strips About two weeks ago, a gardening tip on ThriftyFun talked about cutting toilet paper into strips and gluing seeds onto the strips. I found it hard to cut into strips. What I did was I rolled the paper out the length of my table. Keeping in rows along the length nine to a square then I let it dry. I rolled it up and then cut it into strips. It worked out well for me. By Laura from Ocala, FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. "What's the matter?" he was asked. He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, It will probably be all right.'" "She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?" "She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The Father knocked on the bathroom door where his teenage daughter had been taking a bath for over an hour. "Cindy! Just how long will you be in that bathtub?" From the other side of the door came an exasperated reply: "Oh Daddy! Water affects your weight, not your height. I'm still 5'4"!"

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