Hard to read font colors 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday,May 5

Thank you Nancy!

Had some decent spring weather. Walking to the post office
and back was a real pleasure.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1382 Battle of Beverhoutsveld - population beats up drunken army 
1430 Jews are expelled from Speyer Germany 
1764 Smolny-institution forms in St Petersburg for noble girls
1809 Citizenship is denied to Jews of Canton of Aargau Switzerland
1842 City-wide fire burns for over 100 hours (Hamburg Germany) 
1862 French army intervenes in Puebla México: Cinco de Mayo
1865 1st US train robbery (North Bend OH) 
1881 Anit-Jewish rioting in Kiev Ukraine 
1916 US marines invade Dominican Republic, stay until 1924 
1920 Polish troops occupy Kiev 
1944 Gandhi freed from prison
1948 1st air squadron of jets aboard a carrier 
2000 conjunction of Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn & Moon 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Abstract art is a product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered. --- Al Capp If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised. --- Dorothy Parker
Need to fix a birth certificate? Learn Photoshop in a Day!

I got a message that there had been a call from "Josh" at the bank regarding my account. So, I called my bank and the operator asked me what Josh's last name was and I explained that he hadn't left his last name. When she asked for his department, I said that I didn't know. "There are 1500 employees in this building, Sir!," she told me rather sharply. So I asked her for her name. "Danielle," she said. "And your last name?" I asked. "Sorry," she replied, "we're not allowed to give last names." "Well, in that case," I replied, "tell the Josh with no last name and no department to send me an email." And I hung up.
If you want to start a WordPress Blog on free hosting, this course teaches you everything you need to know. Wordpress Crash Course Videos Learn Wordpress In Less Than One Day Instead Of Weeks! Very High Quality Video Training At A Low Price

> From Brent I was working in the sun all day, putting finishing touches on the new deck outside my house. My sister pulled into the driveway, greeted me, and looked over my work. "Wow," she gushed, "you're an expert." Feeling complimented and satisfied, but...trying not to seem egotistical, I responded... "Once you get going, it's pretty easy!" She looked puzzled and wondering if I'd misunderstood her I asked, "What did you just say?" She replied, "I said, your neck is burned!"
A Preacher was doing his "Children's Church" sermon where all the youngsters come down front and hear a story. The pastor was discussing the story of Jonah. He quoted the scriptures from Jonah, "...and the Lord spoke to the fish, and it vomited out Jonah upon the dry land." When the Pastor finished the scripture quotation, he started trying to solicit input from the youngsters to help him complete his mini-sermon. He asked thoughtfully, "What does the fish vomiting Jonah out on dry land indicate to us today. One of the youngsters spoke with great enthusiasm for the entire congregation to hear, "It proves, even a fish can't stomach a bad preacher!"
Click on the picture for the large version I think that is a Heron
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Suresh A. Chapman, of Gainesville, Florida Charged With Felony Beverage Abuse Upset that his order wasn't prepared correctly, a 30-year-old man is accused of throwing his soda on a cash register at a Taco Bell in Gainesville on Sunday night, shutting down the restaurant's computer network for several hours. Suresh A. Chapman, of Gainesville, was charged with damaging a computer resulting in a loss of $5,000 or more, a second- degree felony. Police said he threw his soft drink at the register and credit card machine at the Taco Bell at 3408 Archer Road at about 8 p.m., causing an estimated $2,500 worth of damage. The damage to the computer network meant the store lost about $3,000 in revenue, according to a Gainesville Police Department report. GPD spokeswoman Cpl. Angelina Valuri said Officer Sean Borges was right to charge Chapman with the second- degree felony, which can carry a 15-year prison sentence. “That was the appropriate charge, based on the damage that was done to the business,” Valuri said. “That's not a way to handle your problems if you're upset with your order.” Because of the arrest, Chapman also was charged with violating his probation on a 2011 child abuse case, according to the arrest report.
Tech Support Pits: From: Olaf Re: Hard to read font colors Dear Webby, Some people use very difficult to read font colors, like for example silver on white, or dark blue on black. Is there a way to make that easier to read ? Thanks Olaf Dear Olaf Why ? Have you ever found anything worth reading on a site whose writer was afflicted with that type of insanity ? I haven't, and I don't waste my time on that kind of site. There are plenty of sites with good content presented in easy to read color combinations. However, if you think you HAVE to read a site like that, hit CTRL A to select and highlight All. That makes it appear as if the writer had a positive IQ number. Have FUN! DearWebby
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There's a church-sponsored basketball league in the Atlanta area that makes awards to players at the end of every game. Young players will get awards for best defense, best offense, best sportsmanship, and an award for being the most "Christlike." I asked a mother how a player would qualify for that award. "It's easy," she said. "If the crowd moans 'Oh, Jesus!' every time one particular player gets the ball, he gets the award."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organizing Curling Irons With teen girls in the house, it is a pain to keep curling irons, hair dryers, and flat irons tidy. I had an extra clean wastebasket (the small kind) and had an idea. It fits under my sink and I stand all of the above appliances inside. What a help! :) By Carol from Landisville, PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Billy-Bob and Bubba were driving a semi down a road when they came to an overpass. The sign said 10 feet zero inches, so they got out to measure their truck. Unfortunately, the truck was just over 11 feet high. They didn't know what to do, when finally Bubba looked in both directions and said, "I don't see any cops, let's go for it.!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Dianne for this classic: , traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." knocked. The Innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some food?", asked. The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition. "No!" she said rather sternly. "Could I have a pint of ale?" "No!" she said again. "Could I at least sleep in your stable?" "No!" By this time she was shouting. asked, "Might I please...?" "What now?" the woman interrupted impatiently. "D'ye suppose," asked, "I might have a word with George?"
» Impossible Buildings


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Ink and toner discount coupon 



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Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday,May 4
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



If you tried ordering ink or toner from Atlantic Inkjet.com 
yesterday morning, you may have been too early to use the 
20% discount coupon. Try again now. It was set up mid-day
yesterday.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1471 Battle of Tewkesbury - King Edward IV vs Ex-queen Margaretha 
1493 Spanish Pope Alexander VI divides non-Christian world between Spain & Portugal
1494 Christopher Columbus lands in Jamaica 
1626 Indians sell Manhattan Island for $24 in cloth & buttons
1715 French manufacturer debuts 1st folding umbrella
1776 Rhode Island declares independence from England 
1783 Herschel reports seeing a red glow near lunar crater Aristarchu
1910 Tel Aviv founded
1916 At request of US, Germany curtails its submarine warfare
1917 Arabs sack Tel Aviv 
1923 Bloody street battles between Nazis, socialist & police in Vienna 
1923 New York state revokes Prohibition law
1932 Al Capone, convict of income tax evasion, enters Atlanta Penitentiary
1945 German troops in Netherlands, Denmark & Norway surrender 
1961 Malcolm Ross & Victor Prather reach 34,668 meters (113,739') in balloon 
1966 Soviet Government signs accord about building Fiat factory in USSR
1970 National Guard kills 4 at Kent State in Ohio 
1972 Vietcong forms revolutionary government in Quang Tri South Vietnam
1984 Dave Kingman's fly ball never comes down (stuck in Metrodome ceiling) 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"There is small disproportion betwixt a fool who useth not wit because he hath it not and him that useth it not when it should avail him." --- Elizabeth I "If California can't solve the energy crisis, it will spread to the rest of the nation, and the economy will collapse, and we will become a primitive society where we all run around naked with spears and refuse to attend meetings. Wouldn't that be GREAT?" --- Dave Barry
Need to fix a birth certificate? Learn Photoshop in a Day!

My friends and I had joined a weight-loss organization. At one meeting the instructor held up an apple and a candy bar. "What are the attributes of this apple," she asked, "and how do they relate to our diet?" "Low in calories" and "lots of fiber" were among the answers. She then detailed what was wrong with eating candy, and concluded, "Apples are not only more healthful but also less expensive. Do you know I paid 75 cents for this candy bar?" We stared as she held aloft the forbidden treat. From the back of the room a small voice spoke up, "I'll give you a dollar for it."
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do, ... Why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is about dead outside!" The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside, and sure enough, Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water, and soon, Silver was s tarting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better." Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe," and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?" The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, "Nothing, but you left your Injun runnin'."
A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine." WIFE: The 2 things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie. HUSBAND: Which is this? NEWLYWED: Do you want dinner? SPOUSE: Sure, what are my choices? NEWLYWED: Yes and no. That reminds me,.... If you want all the basic cooking information in one spot, try Public Radio Org's Boiling Water 101
Click on the picture for the large version Ready for spring!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Kristi Diane Clark Lumpy Bra SARASOTA COUNTY - A sheriff's deputy who stopped a speeding driver also halted a marijuana deal, the Sheriff's Office says. At 1:20 a.m. today, a deputy stopped a driver going 63 mph in a 45 mph zone at East Laurel Road and the North Tamiami Trail. He reported that the driver and passenger appeared nervous and that he smelled smoked marijuana. The driver reportedly removed a .22-caliber handgun and three bags of cannabis from her bra. A search of the car revealed more bags of marijuana. The woman and her passenger were expected to meet two customers on South Casey Key Road, who had admitted to deputies they intended to buy $200 worth of marijuana. Deputies arrested driver Kristi Dane Clark, 23, of Lakeland, on charges that include carrying a concealed weapon, possession with intent to sell cannabis and possession of a firearm in the commission of a crime. They arrested her passenger — Michael James McCoy Jr., 22, of Lakeland — on a charge of possession with intent to sell cannabis.
Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Coupon code Dear Webby the coupon does not work yet. Ann Dear Ann I checked with atlantic inkjet.com. Seems you were faster than them. Try it now. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
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>From Brenda After a long, bumpy flight, our passengers were glad to finally land. They disembarked, and the other attendants and I checked for items left behind. In a seat pocket, I found a bag of home-made cookies with a note saying, "Much love, Mom." Quickly, I gave the bag to our gate agent in hopes it would be reunited with its owner. A few minutes later, an announcement came over the public-address system in the concourse: "Would the passenger who lost his cookies on Flight 502, please return to the gate?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fixing Loose Screws in Wood If a screw keeps turning in something that is wooden, simply remove the screw, put a toothpick in the hole, break it off at the top of the hole, insert the toothpick part and replace the screw. By stanwitham from Oregon City, OR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
>From Bill A perfect spring day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
> From Ann I accompanied my husband to get a haircut. While flipping through a magazine I found a hairstyle that would look good on me. I asked the receptionist if I could take the magazine next door to make a copy of the haristyle photo. "Well, okay," she replied, "but leave some ID--a driver's license or credit card." "But my husband is here getting his hair cut," I explained. "Yeah... but we need something you'll come back for."
» Power of Color


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Printer and refill recommendation 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, May 3

Shelley asked about a printer recommendation,
just black and nothing fancy, but low cost.
Finding a good deal for her was easy, for that I usually go
to the small or medium business section at DELL.
I found a fast, 20 page per minute laser printer for $78.
That is a fantastic deal!

It turns out, that is an introductory price, like my 1320c
was five years ago. I sure am glad I jumped at that!

Because it is an introduction, toner refills are not listed
yet at Atlantic Inkjet. No problem. I contacted Dimitris, 
the big boss there, and an hour later had the price and
order number for the toner refill kit.

The price Dimitris offered is going to knock some socks off!
Less than a penny per page! If you are used to 16 cents per
page ink from Walmart or Staples, that looks irresistible!

Details are down in the Tech Support Pit section.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1455 Jews flee Spain 
1494 Jamaica discovered by Christopher Columbus; he names it "St Iago" 
1515 Persian Gulf: Portugese fleet occupies Ormuz
1830 1st regular steam train passenger service starts 
1846 Mexican army surrounds fort in Texas 
1851 Most of San Fransisco destroyed by fire; 30 die
1855 Antwerp-Rotterdam railway opens 
1861 Lincoln asks for 42,000 Army Volunteers & another 18,000 seamen
1901 Fire destroyed 1,700 buildings in Jacksonville FL
1906 British-controlled Egypt takes Sinai peninsula from Turkey 
1921 West Virginia imposes 1st state sales tax 
1926 British general strike-3 million workers support miners 
1945 Allies kidnap German nuclear physicist Werner Heisenberg 
1945 German ship "Cap Arcona" sinks in East Sea, 5,800 killed 
1952 1st landing by an airplane at geographic North Pole 
1965 1st use of satellite TV, Today Show on the Early Bird Satellite 
1994 US space probe Clementine launched 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Creditors have much better memories than debtors. --- Socratex Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. --- Franklin P. Jones The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. --- B. F. Skinner
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A man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch. Someone called 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint. "It was enough to make anybody faint," he said. "My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower."
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"I understand, Doctor, that many husbands snore," said the young wife, "but you've got to help me stop mine. He's a ventriloquist and snores on both sides of me at the same time!"
Lorne McGinty was looking for a gift for a friend of his. Everything he saw in the store was too expensive. Then he came across a glass vase that had been broken, which could be purchased for next to nothing. The tightwad asked the store clerk to send the gift, hoping his friend would think that the vase had been broken during transit. A couple of weeks later, he received an acknowledgment for the gift. "Thanks for the vase," read the card. "It was so thoughtful of you to wrap each piece separately."
Thanks to Dad for this one: Click on the picture for the large version "This one bloomed today." Imagine sitting in your breakfast nook, with the rising sun on your back, and a few minutes later, as you are peacefully buttering your bread, this Phylocactus opens up in front of you, with an 8 inch wide blossom! And the smell as it opens! The secret to get them to bloom like that year after year, is dedicated neglect, a large pot with lots of room for the roots, a bit of water from the bottom three - four times a year and a very brief misting or dew once a month, And the same as with any cactus: LOTS of wind!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Analise Garner, 19, in Lake In The Hills, Ill. Drunk bonehead bit mother and dog Analise Garner, a 19-year-old Illinois female was jailed Sunday after she attacked her mother and then repeatedly bit the family bull dog. According to police, officers were dispatched after neighbors reported hearing loud screaming and pounding coming from a residence Garner shares with her mother. Investigators say Garner had returned home early Sunday morning from a weekend of drinking when she allegedly got into an argument with her mother. Garner allegedly scratched her 37-year-old mother and bit her on the hand. Garner then allegedly went after the family's bull dog. Investigators found three distinct bite marks on the dog's back. "The bulldog eventually did bite (Garner) back in self-defense," stated Police Sgt. Mike Smith. "There were no charges against the 4-legged dog." Garner was booked into the McHenry County Jail and charged with animal cruelty, domestic battery and underage drinking.
Tech Support Pits: From: Shelley Re: Need a printer recommendation Hey webby I love your newsletter, thanks for the smiles! Quick question from a broke student, I need a reliable printer that doesn't have to be fast, noiseless, fancy, or tiny but that I can read reasonably well for school and doesn't cost an arm and a leg to print on. I don't even mind if it is just black and white. The ones you get now are either disposable and break as soon as the receipt is dry and/or the ink costs more than the printer did. Thank you for your wisdom! Shelley Dear Shelley Forget the free and cheap printers. They are just traps to get you locked into having to buy expensive ink. Sorry for not answering faster. I was haggling out a better deal for you. You can get a DELL 1130 black Laser Printer for $79, and be quite safe in expecting it to last longer than your stay at college and university, even though all your friends will come over to print their stuff. I use it's color version, the DELL 1320c for the 5th year now, and it still prints like it did when it was new. You can get Toner refill kits for the DELL 1130 from Atlantic Inkjet. com. It is not listed on their site yet, but they will show it by the time you need a refill. Here is the order number and price, in case you need a refill sooner: 195-478-01: Dell 1130, 1133 MFP, 1135 (2MMJP / 330-9523) refill with chip (2500 yield) $27.99 In addition to that fantastic price, if you use coupon code webby , you will get another 20% discount. Calculate that out! $27.99 - 20% = $22.392 $22.392 / 2500 = 0.0089568 That works out to 0.896 CENTS! Not dollars, CENTS! Less than a penny per page! And your friends, who have ink on their fingers, pay 10 - 16 cents per page! With a Laser printer, all of your acquaintances with overpriced inkjets, that need expensive 16 cents per page ink, will become VERY friendly very suddenly. If you charge them 2 cents per page, they still get an excellent deal, and your own printing is more than paid for. Go for that DELL 1130 while it is on sale at $79 in the Small and Medium Business section, and print out this letter, so that you have the order number and the coupon code, when you need it. In case you were wondering, YES, all subscribers can use the coupon code webby , and get a 20% discount off the already low catalog price at Atlantic Inket. com It works on any ink or toner. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
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A big, burly man visited his pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses. "Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father of the family is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $800." "How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife. "May I ask who you are?" The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I'm Jacob Schwartz, the landlord," he sobbed.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Socks for Dusting Use the lonely lost sock from the dryer as a duster. I turn it inside out and spray furniture polish on it that swipe it were ever there is a hint of dust and voila!, the dust is on the sock. Tube socks with the terry cloth on the inside work the best. When done just wash and dry it and wonder where that extra sock came from. Like I do. By Rhondakitley from Warren, MN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A Harvard School of Public Health survey found that people report more noise and other disruptions in binge-drinking college neighborhoods than in other neighborhoods. And a $4 million study by University of Buffalo Research Institute on Addictions revealed that employees are much more likely to call in sick if they have drunk alcohol the night before. No kidding ?
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, "I'm so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us." The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that my dear," she asked. The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again."
» Big Moon


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Cutting home-made business cards 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, May 2

From John
That is an interesting  picture of the church where you grew 
up, but it would be even more interesting if you told us 
where it is. 
    John

It is in Rankweil, VB, Austria
Here it is at night, from a different angle:


Rankweil is in the Western part of Austria, about 30 km (20 miles)
South of Lake Constance, 10 km (8 miles) east of Switzerland
and about the same distance northeast of Liechtenstein.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1497 John Cabot departs to North-America
1670 King Charles II charters Hudson Bay Company 
1776 France & Spain agree to donate arms to American rebels 
1833 Czar Nicolas bans public sale of serfs
1865 President Johnson offers $100,000 reward for capture of Jefferson Davis 
1887 Hannibal W Goodwin patents celluloid photographic film 
1890 Territory of Oklahoma created
1902 The 1st science fiction film, "A Trip To The Moon", is released
1933 In Germany, Adolf Hitler bans trade unions 
1934 Nazi-Germany begins People's court 
1941 Nazi occupied Netherlands lay off Jewish journalists 
1942 Japanese troops occupy Mandalay Burma
1945 German Army in Italy surrenders 
1945 Russia takes Berlin; General Weidling surrenders 
1956 US Lab detects high-temperature microwave radiation from Venus 
1968 Israeli television begins transmitting 
1992 Yugoslav Army seize Bosnian President Alija Izetbegovic 
1995 Serb missiles exploded in the heart of Zagreb, killing six 
1997 Republic of Texas security chief Robert Scheidt surrenders 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

'The man who will not act until he knows all will never act at all.' --- Jim Elliot Abstract art is a product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered. --- Al Capp
Need to fix a birth certificate? Learn Photoshop in a Day!

Heaven is Where: The Police are British, The Chefs are Italian, The Mechanics are German, The Lovers are French And It's all organized by the Swiss. Hell is Where: The Police are German, The Chefs are British, The Mechanics are French, The Lovers are Swiss And It's all organized by the Italians.
Apple Ipad 4 Idiots Guide + Video Lessons 2012 Including The Apple Ipad 3! New Product With Video Lessons. Most Anticipated Product Of 2012! If you are considering getting an iPad, or if you have one and use only 1% of it, then Get this video course!

>From Rose: I was listening to a lady who called a radio pastor. The pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who had that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear. The lady, who was obviously crying, said, "Pastor, I was born blind, and I've been blind all my life. I don't mind so much being blind but I have some well meaning friends who tell me that if I had more faith I could be healed." The pastor asked her, "Tell me, do you carry one of those white canes?" "Yes I do," she replied. "Then the next time someone says that, hit them over the head with the cane," he said. "Then tell them 'If you had more faith that wouldn't hurt' "!
A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date, but couldn't get her attention. When he was able to catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation. To his amazement, she readily consented. He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time? You wouldn't even make eye contact." "Oh," said the waitress, "I thought you wanted more coffee!"
Thanks to Dad for this one: Click on the picture for the large version "This one bloomed today." Somewhere behind those blossoms is the cactus, that produced them.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Garrett Bryant, 19, in Lawrenceburg, Kentucky Pot bought online goes to wrong address LAWRENCEBURG, Ky., April 27 (UPI) -- A Kentucky teenager who allegedly scored a pot deal over the Internet was arrested after the package arrived at the wrong house, police said. Garrett Bryant, 19, admitted arranging to buy a pound of marijuana from a California person he met playing Xbox Live online, WLKY-TV, Louisville, Ky., reported. Bryant had the contraband sent to him under the false name of David Smith but it was sent to the wrong address. Lawrenceburg police officer Josh Satterly said the resident opened the package without looking at the intended address and after discovering the marijuana, called police who called the postmaster who sent out a postal inspector. "There was a name on the package of David Smith. Garrett Bryant accepted the package from the postal inspector. When he accepted the package and advised his name was David Smith, we executed a search warrant on the residence and that's when we recovered the pound of marijuana," Satterly said. Bryant admitted to police he had paid $2,300 for the marijuana and was hoping to sell it to "help his mother pay bills". How mama's boy got the $2,300 was not mentioned. He probably plans to sue the Post Office for ruining a $23,000 business opportunity and getting a poor innocent boy like him in trouble.
Tech Support Pits: From: Sherry Re: Cutting business cards Dear Webby, What is the best way to cut business cards when one does not want to buy the outrageously high priced perforated ones? Sherry Dear Sherry Gate type cutters, like you probably remember from school, are cheap, especially at garage sales. but it's not easy to be accurate with them, unless you bolt them down and clamp a solid stop block in front of them. Some of them have pull-out stops that look neat, but they tend to move, and by the time you realize that they have moved, you have ruined a lot of good paper. Bolt the cutter table down onto a shelf, so that the gate is ACROSS the shelf, not parallel with the shelf. That way, instead of the cut-offs sailing across the room, will neatly fall onto the shelf. And you can use a cheap "C" clamp to fix a stop in front of it. Rolling wheel cutters are more expensive, but their prices have come down quite nicely. They produce the cleanest cut, but unfortunately are still so new, that you probably will not find them at garage sales and will have to buy them new. Here is a Carl 12" trimmer for $10 If I didn't have an old 18" gate cutter screwed down on a shelf, I would probably be lusting after that one. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
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Before marriage, a woman will lie awake all night thinking about something a man said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before she finished talking.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Create Computer Troubleshooting Binder I love my computer but must admit that I'm not savvy on it at all. I am forever coming across a problem that I don't know how to fix and having to call HP, AOL or somebody to help me. I found I was calling lots of times over and over for the same problems. Finally I came up with an idea and it's saved me countless phone calls. Now when I have a problem and have to call, while I'm on the phone I take detailed notes. Then when I'm done I immediately write up the problem and everything that was done to fix the problem on the computer (or hand write it, either way). I keep a notebook binder on the desk now with lots of page protectors in it. Into each page protector goes the problem and fix. Then I stick a tab on the edge with a short "label" of what the problem was. This has saved me a lot of headaches and a lot of time. It's so much faster and easier than trying to call these companies! By Cricketnc from Parkton, NC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Saba was telling the little ones of how it was when he was a young boy in Brooklyn, in Manhattan's immigrant ghetto. "When I was a kid," he said, "we didn't even have a radio. So our dad bored a hole through the wall into the neighbor's living room to hear all the great boxing fights. After a year we discovered, that they didn't have a radio either."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Tina When my husband, Mark, took his beat-up pickup truck to our insurance agent for a pre-insurance inspection, the teen-age receptionist was sent to look over the truck. Armed with a checklist and a few simple questions, she breezed through the chore. When she asked, "What are the age and make of the vehicle?" Mark replied, "It's a '65 Ford." Apologetic about its des- perate condition, he added, "It's an old fossil." Inside, the office assistant entered the data into her computer and frowned. "Is there a problem?" asked Mark. "Mr. Evans, no matter what I try," she explained, "but the computer can't find a Ford Fossil."
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Dealing with telemarketers 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, May 1


That is the church in the village, where I grew up. 
Every year on May 1 there was a pilgrimage to that church, 
because miracles happened. 

People came from all over Europe and the pilgrimage 
culminated with a candle / torch march in the evening
around the rock, on which the church sits and then up to 
the church. The ring road is exactly one Kilometer long,
and during the day, there was a 25 lap junior and 100
lap grown-ups bicycle race around the rock.

They hung big speakers along the whole circuit, and people
were watching the race 4 - 5 deep on both sides of the road.
Local and provincial businesses used to pledge pretty hefty
prizes for winning the lap with their house number or the next
lap or the next tenner, and some of the racers made prretty 
good money. 

Somehow, the lag in the sound from the next speakers 
created a neat echo, that somehow made the race more special.

In the evening, when the pilgrims, plus local and nearby clubs,
carried their candles or torches on the same circuit plus up to 
the church and back down again. the same speakers were used
for prayers and hymns. Praying or singing along with thousands 
of people was quite neat too.

A few years after I left both the bicycle race and the 
pilgrimage with candle finish fizzled out. Apparently there 
was nobody left, who was competent enough to organize it. 
I still have fond memories of those annual events, though.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1006 Supernova observed by Chinese & Egyptians in constellation Lupus 
1544 Turkish troops occupy Hunga
1625 Portuguese & Spanish expedition recaptures Salvador
1703 Battle at Rultusk: Swedish army beats Russians
1704 Boston Newsletter publishes 1st newspaper ad
1707 England, Wales & Scotland form UK of Great Britain
1757 Austria & France divide Prussia 
1840 1st adhesive postage stamps ("Penny Blacks" from England) issued 
1841 1st emigrant wagon train leaves Independence MO for California
1844 Samuel Morse sends 1st telegraphic message 
1857 William Walker, conqueror of Nicaragua, surrenders to US Navy 
1873 1st US postal card issued 
1886 US general strike for 8 hour day, begins
1889 1st International Workers Day, according to the 2nd International
1889 Bayer introduces aspirin in powder form (Germany) 
1926 British coal-miners go on strike
1931 Empire State Building opens in New York NY 
1935 Hoover Dam completed 
1935 Canada's 1st silver dollar is circulated 
1939 Batman Comics hit the street 
1943 Food rationing begins in US
1944 Messerschmitt Me-262 Sturmvogel, first operational jet aircraft 
(twin-jet fighter), makes 1st flight 
1945 Admiral Karl Doenitz forms German government (post Hitler)
1945 Soviet army reach Rostock 
1947 Radar for commercial & private planes 1st demonstrated 
1948 North Korea proclaims itself People's Democratic Republic of Korea 
1950 Mayor of Brussels bans May Day parade 
1951 600,000 march for peace & freedom in Germany 
1959 West Germany introduces 5 day work week 
1960 Russia shoots down Francis Gary Powers' U-2 spy plane over Sverdlovsk
1961 1st US airplane hijacked to Cuba 
1961 Fidel Castro announces there will be no more elections in Cuba 
1962 JFK authorizes Area Redevelopment Act (ARA) 
1965 USSR launches Luna 5; later impacts on Moon
1966 US troops shooting targets in Cambodia
1978 1st black mayor of New Orleans (Ernest Morial) inaugurated 
1981 Radio Shack releases Model III TRSDOS 1.3 
1986 Tass reports Chernobyl nuclear power plant mishap 
1992 Rickey Henderson steals his 1,000th base
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something." --- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
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>From Jean: We had spent the day moving from our farmhouse into a new apartment house in town. Very early the next morning, our 3 1/2 -year-old ran into our bedroom to wake us up. I dressed him and told him to play in the yard and to quit bothering us. About 20 minutes later, he came running back. "Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "Everybody has doorbells - and they all work!"
Apple Ipad 4 Idiots Guide + Video Lessons 2012 Including The Apple Ipad 3! New Product With Video Lessons. Most Anticipated Product Of 2012! If you are considering getting an iPad, or if you have one and use only 1% of it, then Get this video course!

A couple was arranging for their wedding, and asked the bakery to inscribe the wedding cake with "1 John 4:18" which reads "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear." The bakery evidently lost, smudged or otherwise misread the noted reference, and beautifully inscribed on the cake "John 4:18": "For you have had five husbands, and the man you have now is not your husband."
When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy businessman learned this the hard way after ordering his nurses around as if they were his employees. But the head nurse stood up to him. One morning she entered his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated," but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his bottom. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay just like that until I get back!" She left the door to his room open on her way out, and he cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" "Yes," said the doctor. "But never with a carnation."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Anita R. Joost, 46 in Elgin, Illinois Thanks to Walter, THE Stonecarver, for alerting me to this: Elgin mom encouraged daughter to attack teen rival An Elgin mother is due in Kane County court May 9, accused of encouraging her 15-year-old daughter to beat up another teenager while recording the altercation with her cell phone, according to police. Anita R. Joost, 46, was charged Wednesday with aggravated battery and contributing to the delinquency of a minor in the April 2 incident at a local park. She is free from jail after posting 10 percent of a $50,000 bond, but declined to comment Friday morning. Police said Joost was in the car about 6 p.m. April 2 with her 14-year-old son and 15-year-old daughter, along with two of her daughter’s friends. Joost’s daughter told her she got a call from another 15-year-old girl, and she wanted to meet the girl to attack her at Shadow Hill Park, which is located on the corner of Comstock Drive and Ballad Road, according to a police report. Joost allegedly dropped the girls off at the park and stayed in her car to watch the fight, police said. Police say the incident happened on April 2. Joost was in a car with her daughter, two of the girl's friends and Joost's 14-year-old son when the daughter got a call from a friend. The caller told the girl a 15-year-old girl she had been feuding with wanted to meet at a park and talk things out, police said. The girl told her mother she wanted to go to the park, but to fight the girl, not talk, police said. The mother drove to Shallow Hill Park at 340 Cassidy Lane and dropped the girl off along with her friends, police said. Joost then drove around the park and pulled up to her daughter and friends as they spoke with the 15-year-old girl and her friends, police said. The 15-year-old told the daughter she wanted to talk about their problems and began walking away, police said. But Joost told her daughter to "kick her ass," and then screamed the same thing out the window, according to the police report. After Joost's taunting, her daughter tried to get the other girl to fight but the girl tried to "defuse" the situation, police said. Joost then called one of her daughter's friends on her cell phone and told her, "Enough's enough, either kick her ass or let's go home." Joost's daughter started beating the girl as a friend recorded the fight, police said. After the fight, Joost drove her daughter to a nearby house and encouraged her to begin another fight with the same girl, police said. The owners of the home came outside and ordered the Joosts to leave, police said. Authorities say they pursued charges after becoming aware of the recording. Joost's daughter was charged as a juvenile with aggravated battery in the public way and was detained at the Kane County Youth Home. Police have received a number of videos of the incident and plan to use them in court.
Tech Support Pits: From: Danielle Re: Telemarketers Dear Webby, I have been told not to be rude to telemarketers, just in case they are potential clients. I know you have a dangerously wicked sense of humor and have had some good tips about that in the past, but unfortunately I did not save them. What do you recommend? Danielle Dear Danielle Just tell the telemarketer that they should be talking to Farley Marblemouth and to hold on. Then, before they can reply to that, put them on hold. Eventually you'll hear the beeping that indicates a dead line. An alternative is to tell them that you, or whoever they want to talk to are too busy and that they should send an email. They never do, but if you suspect that they might, you can always give them a bogus addres like farley.marblemouth.III@aol.com Have FUN! DearWebby
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Introductory Chemistry at Duke has been taught for about a zillion years by Professor Bonk (really), and his course is semi-affectionately known as "Bonkistry." He has been around forever, so I wouldn't put it past him to come up with something like this. Anyway, one year there were these two guys who were taking Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes and the midterms and labs, etc., such that going into the final they had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the Chem final was on Monday), they decided to go up to University of Virginia and party with some friends up there. So they did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and everything, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, what they did was to find Professor Bonk after the final and explain to him why they missed the final. They told him that they went up to University of Virginia for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare and couldn't get help for a long time and so were late getting back to campus. Bonk thought this over and then agreed that they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved. So, they studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Bonk had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was something simple about polarity and solutions and was worth 5 points. "Cool" they thought, "this is going to be easy." They did that problem and then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on the next page. It said: (95 points) Which tire?
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Create Computer Troubleshooting Binder I love my computer but must admit that I'm not savvy on it at all. I am forever coming across a problem that I don't know how to fix and having to call HP, AOL or somebody to help me. I found I was calling lots of times over and over for the same problems. Finally I came up with an idea and it's saved me countless phone calls. Now when I have a problem and have to call, while I'm on the phone I take detailed notes. Then when I'm done I immediately write up the problem and everything that was done to fix the problem on the computer (or hand write it, either way). I keep a notebook binder on the desk now with lots of page protectors in it. Into each page protector goes the problem and fix. Then I stick a tab on the edge with a short "label" of what the problem was. This has saved me a lot of headaches and a lot of time. It's so much faster and easier than trying to call these companies! By Cricketnc from Parkton, NC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A Hunter walking through the jungle found a huge dead elephant with a pigmy standing beside it. Amazed, he asked: "Did you kill that?" The pigmy said, "Yes." The hunter asked, "How could a little bloke like you kill a huge beast like that?" "With my club." The astonished hunter asked, "How big is your club?" The pigmy replied, "There's about 60 of us."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept talking about chickens being great creatures, and as such they had the right to go where they wanted. The man was having no luck keeping the chickens out of his flower beds, and he had tried everything. Two weeks later, on a visit a friend noticed his flower beds were doing great. The flowers were beginning to bloom. So the friend asked him how he managed to keep the chickens away. "How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?" "One night I hid a dozen eggs under a bush by my flower bed, and the next day I let my neighbor see me gather them. He built a fence that same morningand I wasn't bothered after that."
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The Book of Political Life 

Today's reading is from the Book of Political Life,
Chapter 1, verses 1-15:
1. In the beginning was the Plan.
2. And then came the Assumptions.
3. And the Assumptions were without form.
4. And the Plan was without Substance.
5. And darkness was upon the face of the Voters.
6. And the Voters spoke among themselves saying, "It is a crock of shit and it stinks."
7. And the Voters went unto their Members of Parliament and said, "It is a crock of dung and we cannot live with the smell."
8. And the Members of Parliament went unto their Party saying, "It is a container of organic waste, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."
9. And the Party went unto the Cabinet Ministers, saying, "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength."
10. And the Cabinet Ministers spoke among themselves, saying to one another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."
11. And the Cabinet Ministers went to the Deputy Prime Minister, saying unto him, "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful."
12. And the Deputy Prime Minister went to the Prime Minister, saying unto him, "It has very powerful effects."
13. And the Prime Minister looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.
14. And the Plan became Policy.
15. And that is how crap happens.





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Change my subscriber name 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, April 30

My daffodils are holding out until warmer May weather.
I expected them to bloom weeks ago, but no luck yet.
On the other hand, the dandylions are holding back too and 
the lawns are just starting to get a greenish hue of brown.
Yeah, I know, in Alabama they have already sold and shipped
the first harvest of hay. Somebody here was joking that 
Gullible Warming happens only in states, where people 
believe in it. 

Well, I believe I still have a couple of weeks to get my 
lawnmower cleaned up and tuned up.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
0311 Emperor Galerius recognizes Christians legally in the Roman Empire
1006 Brightest supernova in recorded history is observed 
1349 Jewish community at Radolszell Germany, exterminated
1396 Crusaders & Earl of Nevers depart from Dijon
1492 Columbus is given royal commission to equip his fleet 
1562 1st French colonists in US Jean Ribaut & Hugenots at Parris Island NC
1563 Jews are expelled from France by order of Charles VI 
1789 George Washington inaugurated as 1st President of US
1803 US doubles in size through the Louisiana Purchase ($15 million) 
1860 Navaho Indians attack Fort Defiance
1861 President Abraham Lincoln ordered Federal Troops to evacuate Indian Territory 
1871 Apaches in Arizona surrender to white & Mexican adventurers;
1885 Boston Pops Orchestra forms 
1898 Championship wrestling match at the Metropolitan turns into a brawl 
1900 USA annexes Hawaii 
1904 Ice cream cone makes its debut 
1911 Portugal approves woman suffrage
1941 Spread of Judaism begins in Croatia
1945 Lord Haw-Haw calls for crusade against the bolsheviks 
1952 Mr Potato Head is 1st toy advertised on television 
1955 West German unions protest for 40-hour work week & more wages 
1961 Premier Fidel Castro of Cuba receives Lenin-Peace Prize 
1967 Highest tower in the world finished, 537 meters (1762 feet) USSR
1970 US troops invade Cambodia 
1975 Last US helicopter leaves US embassy grounds in Vietnam, Saigon surrenders 
1980 Terrorists seize Iranian Embassy in London
1982 Iranian offensive in Khusistan
1991 In Bangladesh a cyclone kills over 131,000 & leaves 9 million homeless 
1994 Soccer great Pele (53) weds psychologist Assiria Seixas Lemos (36) 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars. --- J. Paul Getty "If you would persuade, you must appeal to interest rather than intellect." --- Benjamin Franklin "A man who contemplates revenge keeps his wounds green." --- Francis Bacon
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A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail." "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back!?!" "A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry."
Apple Ipad 4 Idiots Guide + Video Lessons 2012 Including The Apple Ipad 3! New Product With Video Lessons. Most Anticipated Product Of 2012! If you are considering getting an iPad, or if you have one and use only 1% of it, then Get this video course!

For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions: "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being--a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol, whom one can treat as one's absolute own, who will be kind and faithful when times are hard, who will share one's joys and sorrows." To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes. Then she nodded in agreement. Finally, she responded, "I think its a great idea! Do you want me to go to the pound with you and help you pick out a suitable puppy dog?"
Today's reading is from the Book of Political Life, Chapter 1, verses 1-15: 1. In the beginning was the Plan. 2. And then came the Assumptions. 3. And the Assumptions were without form. 4. And the Plan was without Substance. 5. And darkness was upon the face of the Voters. 6. And the Voters spoke among themselves saying, "It is a crock of shit and it stinks." 7. And the Voters went unto their Delegates and said, "It is a crock of dung and we cannot live with the smell." 8. And the Delegates went unto their Representatives saying, "It is a container of organic waste, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it." 9. And the Representatives went unto their Senators, saying, "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength." 10. And the Senators spoke among themselves, saying to one another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong." 11. And the Senators went to the Vice President, saying unto them, "It promotes growth, and it is very powerful." 12. And the Vice President went to the President, saying unto him, "It has very powerful effects." 13. And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good. 14. And the Plan became Policy. 15. And that is how crap happens.
Click on the picture for the large version Cinema Cannes, in Cannes, France
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Davis Williams, 54, currently in OKMULGEE COUNTY, Oklahoma Meth lab explodes in man's pants A portable meth lab exploded in a Mounds man's pants early Friday morning as he struggled with an Oklahoma Highway Patrol trooper. The Oklahoma Highway Patrol says meth was leaking down Davis Williams' leg as he tried to run away from a trooper just after midnight. The trooper had stopped an SUV for speeding on 221st Street South in Okmulgee County. After giving the driver a ticket, the trooper began to question the passenger, Davis Williams, about a chemical smell. The OHP says Williams, 54, then took off running, but the trooper caught him and a struggle ensued. "After a brief struggle it was determined there was an active meth lab in his pants that burst during the struggle and got all over his body," said OHP trooper Shiloh Hall. Medical personnel checked out Williams and the road was closed so emergency crews could clean up the scene. Williams was booked into the Okmulgee County jail on a complaint of manufacture of a controlled and dangerous substance. The driver of the SUV was not arrested. The OHP says the driver was taking Williams to his semi at the time of the incident.
Tech Support Pits: From: Dave Re: Correct my name Dear Webby, Please correct greeting to Dave Thank you for all the work you do! Dave Dear Dave Done ----------- Every time somebody asks me to correct their name, I also correct any others on the same page. Dave's was easy, he had put "dave" as his First Name, when he subscribed. Some others do give me a chuckle: When I imagine the name Mrs Ernestine Fogharty-Smythe III filled into a joke, where I use your name insted of "Little Johnny", it gets rather ridiculous. If what you put in there as your "First Name" when you subscribed is not what you want to see, when I say Good Morning to you, then tell me! It only takes me a second to correct that. I typo real fsa!t Have FUN! DearWebby
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Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. He was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Please take the wheel, dear. Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock it." So she drove the boat to shore. Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was watching television. She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Please go into the kitchen, dear. Pretend I'm having a heart attack and set the table, cook dinner and wash the dishes."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Nail Brushes for Cleaning Small Spaces I rarely use a nail brush to clean under my nails, as I use the end of a nail file. So I have a small collection of nail brushes I've saved from gift sets (frugal people save anything they think they will eventually find a use for). I keep a couple of them by the sink in the laundry room and have found they are great for scrubbing small spaces - a little larger than an old toothbrush and smaller than a traditional scrub brush. They have come in handy time and time again. By Marie from West Dundee, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son. The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to the boy, and the father replies: "Euro." The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency. Says George: "What? There weren't any objections when I called my first two sons Mark and Frank."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the Tech Support Center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."...
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Punography 

I changed my iPod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. But he says he can stop any time.

How did Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Than it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity and I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it.

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off.

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer.

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

I do not enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.




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How to restore the task bar to the bottom 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, April 29

If you are running low on ink or toner, get refills THIS week!
Atlantic Inkjet has Earth Week discounts this week.
You get free shipping even on small orders, 
and a 10 % discount with this coupon code:
EARTH2012

Due to noisy demand, Earth Week has been extended to April 30
That is today and tomorrow!

Looks like Russa does not want NATO to repeat their general
weapons testing exercise as in Libya, where they killed almost 
three times as many civilians as Quadafi had. So they parked 
their newest ships in front of Syria, with an alert looking 
sailor ready to hold off NATO.



NATO forces are circling the Russian ships with small yachts
loaded with shivering bikini models and a lot of  very modern
cameras and surveillance gear.

Quite likely the Russians are also showing off their new
ships and probably hope to sell a bunch of them.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1429 Joan of Arc leads Orleans France, to victory over English 
1553 Flemish woman introduces practice of starching linen into England 
1623 11 Dutch ships depart for the conquest of Peru 
1644 Farm leader Li Zicheng becomes emperor of China & flees Peking
1661 Chinese Ming dynasty occupies Taiwan 
1707 English/Scottish parliament accept Act of Union, form Great Britain 
1781 French fleet stops Britain from seizing the Cape of Good Hope 
1813 Rubber is patented 
1856 End of Crimean War 
1862 100,000 federal troops prepare to march into Corinth MS 
1901 Anti semitic riot in Budapest
1912 108º F (42º C), Tuguegarao Philippines (Oceania record) 
1913 Gideon Sundback of Hoboken patents all-purpose zipper 
1916 Irish nationalists set post office on fire in Dublin 
1930 Telephone connection England-Australia goes into service 
1940 Norwegian King Haakon & government flees to England
1945 Adolf Hitler marries Eva Braun
1965 Australian government announces it will send troops to Vietnam 
1970 50,000 US & South Vietnamese troops invade Cambodia 
1975 US Forces pull out of Vietnam 
1975 Ethiopia nationalizes (conficates) all ground/earth 
1990 Wrecking cranes began tearing down Berlin Wall at Brandenburg Gate 
1991 Croatia declares independence 
1992 Jury acquits Los Angeles police officers of beating Rodney King, riots begin 
1994 Israel & PLO sign economic accord 
Japan : Emperor Hirohito's Birthday 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"He who boasts of his ancestry is praising the deeds of another." --- Seneca the Younger Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted. --- Aldous Huxley
A ten-year-old girl asked and received help from a librarian on how to use the card catalog. In a little while, the girl approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell "tequila." "T-e-q-u-i-l-a," spelled the librarian. The girl thanked her and went back to her search. A short time later she came to the desk, looking quite distraught. "I just can't find it." she said. "What book are you looking for, honey?" the librarian asked. And the little girl said, "Tequila Mockingbird."
Need to fix a birth certificate? Learn Photoshop in a Day! A Complete Photoshop Guide For People Who Hate Normal Manuals, Aimed At Beginners And Moves On To Advanced Level. Learning Photoshop The Easy Way. A Clearly Written And Illustrated E-book With A New Method Of Learning. Change the red car to a blue one. YOU can do it! Easy to follow step-by-step tutorials. Get Photoshop in a Day!

An elderly parish priest was tending his garden near a convent when a passerby stopped to inquire after the priest's much-loved roses. "Not bad," said the priest, "but they suffer from a disease peculiar to this area known as the black death." "What on earth is that?" asked the passerby, anxious to increase his garden knowledge. "Nuns with scissors."
Guess what this is! Click on the picture for the large version It is near Bartholomäberg, 6780, Austria in case you have Google Earth Here is the same thing, opened: Click on the picture for the large version It is a former 4 seater chair lift seat, tossed out to make room for 6-seaters. They were placed along scenic roads as park benches, including the clear plexiglass hoods, that make resting and enjoying the scenery more pleasant in rough weather. When it is sunny, they tend to turn into saunas, but the hood opens up with a finger tip. This is along one of my dad's favorite hiking routes.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Aldwin Caceres, 18, in Tampa, Florida Jailed After Head-Butting Mother, Burning Down Her House Over Cell Phone Tampa, FL (The Weekly Vice) - Aldwin Caceres, an 18-year-old bonehead with a blonde afro was jailed Sunday after he allegedly head-butted his mother, then burned her house down during an argument over a cell phone. According to police, the 275 pound Caceres became angry Saturday night while arguing with his mother over a cell phone. In retaliation, Caceres allegedly grabbed his mother by the wrists, pushed her onto a bed and then head-butted her twice on the forehead. Caceres then reportedly doused two couches and his mother's bed with gasoline before setting them ablaze. The fire was started shortly after midnight and completely destroyed the home. Caceres was booked into the Hillsborough County Jail and charged with first-degree arson and domestic battery.
Tech Support Pits: From: Jan Re: Moved task bar Dear Webby, Something happened to my desktop. (had kids around) Instead of the task bar being on the bottom it is now located at the top of the screen, I sure would appreciate it if you could tell me how to get it back to the original spot. I suppose I can live with it if I have to, but, I'm old and a creature of habit. Please help me! Thanks, Jan Enjoy this day! - Jan Dear Jan Just click on a blank spot on the task bar and drag it back down, where it belongs. It does not drag smoothly, it acts like it is stuck until your mouse almost reaches the new position, then it jumps to there. You can also put it onto a side of the screen, if you want. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A man was visiting his elderly neighbor and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The neighbor asked, "When did you bag him?" The old man said proudly, "That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife and her mother." "What's he stuffed with?" asked the neighbor. "My ex-wife and her mother," replied the old man.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Dog Tag for Medical Information I purchased a dog tag from PetSmart and on one side I have my name and phone number, on the other side I list O-POS / DIABETIC. It's attached to my key chain just in case of an emergency and can easily be seen. By CaroleeRose from Madison, AL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Thanks to mark for this: The other night, my friend and I were going out. She sat there and put on foamies, eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, plastic eyelashes, foundation, mascara, toner, blush, trim, siding, and lipstick, then turned to me and said, "Does this look natural?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student and asked, "Why have you chosen this career?" The young man said, "I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father." "Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the dean. "No," replied the applicant, "but he always dreamed of it."
» Cardboard Scupltures


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Shape of Sound 

The shape of sound demonstrated with salt. The plane is vibrated at specific frequency. The waves travel across the plane and at some places they add together and at other places they cancel out. Where they cancel out the salt sticks because there is no vibrations and at other places it just gets vibrated away.







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Copying files by date 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, April 28

Thank you, Sig!

--------------
If you are running low on ink or toner, get refills THIS week!
Atlantic Inkjet has Earth Week discounts this week.
You get free shipping even on small orders, 
and a 10 % discount with this coupon code:
EARTH2012

Due to noisy demand, Earth Week has been extended to April 30
---------------

Betty wrote:
Hi Webby, I am impressed with the prices of the ink cartridges 
for my printer From Atlantic.  Thank you for that info.  
Can you please tell me if there are duty charges from the 
US border crossing when I pick them up?  It mentions we are 
responsible for that, but I don’t rem you talking about it, or 
how costly it is.  
Thanks for your help & info. 
TC, Betty

Dear Betty
On small orders Canada Post just lets them slip through, 
on large ones you pay the 5% GST, as if you had bought
the toner downtown. Duty is the same as GST.

In Socialist provinces you may have to pay additional 
provincial sales tax, but you are used to that anyway.
Here in Alberta, where there is no provincial extortion,
it's just the 5% GST/Duty, and if that is below a secret
threshold, the Post Office won't bother figuring it out and
let it slide through free.

Two toners for my DELL 13020c slide through free. On
Monday I expect a shipment of three toners, that I ordered
on Thursday, and I have a hunch, they will slide through for
free too.

So I get 10% off for EarthWeek with the EARTH2012
coupon, free shipping donated by Atlantic Inkjet
and no GST, thanks to my good friends at the Post Office.

That is why I have bought ink and toner from Atlantic Inkjet 
for over a dozen years.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
0585 War between Lydia & Media ended by solar eclipse 
1376 English parliament demands supervision on royal outlay 
1635 Virginia Governor John Harvey accused of treason & removed from office
1655 English Admiral Blake beats Tunen pirate fleet 
1770 Captain James Cook in Endeavor lands at Botany Bay in Australia
1789 Fletcher Christian leads Mutiny on HMS Bounty & Captain Bligh 
1818 Monroe proclaims naval disarmament on Great Lakes & Lake Champlain 
1935 Moscow underground opens (81 km long) 
1941 Last British troops in Greece surrenders
1956 Last French troop leave Vietnam 
1961 Lieutenant Colonel Georgi Mossolov takes E-66A to 34,714 meter altitude
1965 US marines invade Dominican Republic, stay until October 1966 
1967 Muhammad Ali refuses induction into army & stripped of boxing title
1975 Last Americans evacuated from Saigon
1995 Gas explosion in South Korean metro, 103 die 
1996 Meg Mallon wins LPGA Sara Lee Golf Classic
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"A good man gone wrong is usually a bad man found out. " If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets. --- Mel Brooks Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you. --- Kin Hubbard
"It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other." "Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puzzled teacher. "But you only have two ears, boy." "Guess I'm no good at math, either!"
Need to fix a birth certificate? Learn Photoshop in a Day! A Complete Photoshop Guide For People Who Hate Normal Manuals, Aimed At Beginners And Moves On To Advanced Level. Learning Photoshop The Easy Way. A Clearly Written And Illustrated E-book With A New Method Of Learning. Change the red car to a blue one. YOU can do it! Easy to follow step-by-step tutorials. Get Photoshop in a Day!

was selling tickets at the movie house when she got a phone call. This woman said, "How much is a ticket?" said, "Seven dollars." She said, "How much for children?" said, "Same price, seven dollars." She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children." said, "OK, put the kids on a plane somewhere, and you come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Stacey Ann Ortiz, 34, Port St. Lucie, Florida Jailed After Attacking Boyfriend Because He Refused To Have Sex With Her right now Stacey Ann Ortiz, a 34-year-old Port St. Lucie resident was jailed after she attacked her boyfriend because he refused to have sex with her. According to Port St. Lucie County Police, Ortiz and her boyfriend were drinking at a friend's house when they decided to call it a night and head home. When Ortiz hinted that she was in the mood for a a little something-something, her boyfriend rejected the idea and stated that would rather relax and watch television instead. That's when Ortiz launched a physical attack on her boyfriend. Investigators say the boyfriend attempted to run away, but Ortiz chased him down the street while he was wearing only underwear and a cel phone. The victim was able to call 911. When officers arrived, they noted that the boyfriend had several minor abrasions, including a cut on his forehead and scratches on his chest. Ortiz reportedly told investigators that she and her boyfriend's argument was only verbal at first, but claimed that he head-butted her, which turned it into a physical fight. She admitted to using a metal mop handle to break the windshield of the victim's truck, and to chasing him down the street because she was angry. Ortiz was booked into the St. Lucie County Jail and charged with domestic battery. She was released on her own recognizances, and is due to appear in court on May 8th.
Tech Support Pits: From: Elaine Re: Copy files from a certain date Dear Webby, you mentioned copying files from a set date on. How do you do that in Windows 7? Elaine Dear Elaine Open the File Explorer, browse to the directory, where those files are, and click on DATE on top, to sort them by date. Doing that in XP is pretty well instant, but in W7, if there are a lot of files in there, will take some time. If it is for example a folder with all the embedded and attached pictures, go clean out the coffee machine and the counter, while Windows is doing that. When you come back, sometimes it has done it, other times you have to click on DATE again and go do more chores. Eventually, the files are sorted by date, and you can highlight the date range that you want and copy or move or delete them. If you are in a hurry, go up a level, so that you see the name of that folder, highlight it, SHIFT Rightclick to get the advanced menu, select OPEN DOS COMMAND PROMPT HERE. That gives you the scary black DOS screen and a prompt telling you what directory you are in. Type color 9e that gives you a dark blue screen with yellow text. Then type xcopy *.* x:\folder\subfolder /D:m-d-y The *.* means ALL files that qualify Instead of x:\folder\subfolder you put the destination, where you want the files copied to. /D:m-d-y is the date For files after April 10, 2010 you would use /D:04-10-2010 If you use just /D, with no specidic date, then the Xcopy command copies only those files, that are newer at the source than at the destination. You can probably imagine how that trick makes backing up really fast! It does not bother with the 3 Million files, that you already got on the back-up drive, and just copies the 7 new files. To see all the handy "Switches" for the Xcopy command, type xcopy /? yeah, WOW! We had that since the days of DOS-3, long before the first Windows, but most of us kept it a secret from the mousers. You can note the switches, that you want and write a bat that has them built in. You can write bats with any clean text editor, and save them into the c:\Windows directory. Here is one I wrote when you were still jailbait: xx.bat @echo off xcopy %1 %2 /D /E /C /H /R /K /Y /Z echo === copied %1 to %2 pause I'll explain what each line does: @echo off tells it to NOT echo each command onto the screen. You already know what it does, since you wrote it. xcopy %1 %2 takes source and destination from your command line input If you type xx c:\noise\wav\*.* f:\sounds\new\wav then the bat takes c:\noise\wav\*.* as %1 and f:\sounds\new\wav as %2. After that it applies the list of conditional switches /D /E /C /H /R /K /Y /Z Whatever source or destination you specify, the xx.bat will always use those conditional switches. Then it tells you, what it has done, and asks you to hit the ANY key, after you have seen that message. You can, of course, "hardwire" source and destination for frequent backups, for example xwav.bat (saved to the Windows folder) @echo off xcopy c:\noise\wav\*.* f:\sounds\new\wav /D /E /C /H /R /K /Y /Z echo === copied c:\noise\wav\*.* f:\sounds\new\wav pause After you have saved the xwav.bat, make a desktop shortcut to it. Whenever you click that, it will back up all your wavs and ask you to hit the ANY key, when it is done. By the way, if you don't like the yellow on blue screen, type color /? and get a list of the color names. Have FUN! DearWebby
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While talking with my semi-deaf uncle one evening, I noticed that his "hearing aid" was actually an earphone from a transistor radio. The wire had been cut and was sticking into his shirt. "How does that help your hearing?" I asked. "Don't help my hearing none," he replied. "Makes people talk louder."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Envelopes From Magazines I have done this for years. Our library has magazines in their bookstore for a quarter each. After I read them, I make envelopes from the most colorful pages and tear out all the cologne ads (woman's magazines) that have the scent under the flap. When I am ready to mail a handmade card or letter I lift the tab on the scent and rub it on the inside of my magazine made envelope. Makes it a pleasant surprise for the recipient. There are several envelope templates for downloading on the web available for free. The larger the magazine pages, the more choices you have for your envelope size. I have also used maps and old sheet music. You will need to add a label for the address. I use my return address sticker to seal the envelope in the back. Food, art, garden, travel, and animal magazines have some great photos. Source: My idea as far as using the scents. Envelopes from magazines have been around for some time. By NoRulesArt from FL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
>From Phil: While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop." Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," she said,"go ahead." "And this is my pole," he said. My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store to hold up my shower curtain." And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented. They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation. En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness. Leaning close, one paramedic asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?" The old man slowly looked up at him, then gazed out the ambulance window. He slowly turned back to the paramedic and said, "Oh, I'd say about 50, maybe 55."
» the Life of Flowers


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How to get the Command Line in Windows 7 Explorer? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, April 27
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Yesterday I noticed water running down at the edge of the 
road on the North side, but no rain. So I checked on the 
West side. There water was spouting up in the middle of the 
road at a rate of about 40 Liters (10 US Gallons) a minute.

Water main break!
Just as I was looing for an after hours number for the town,
one of their guys showed up and marked with a spray can
where the road needed to be dug up.

Then another guy showed up and they started searching for
shut-off valves, while I frantically filled every pot with water.
I even walked over to Barb in the next block. She had borrowed 
my 5 gallon Chilie pot some time ago. I got back in time to 
fill that too, before they shut things off.

Then today a crew showed up with a big tracked hoe, and 
carved open a hole big enough for a small house. They cheerfully
smashed the old style sewer line, but were very gentle about
exposing the water main. 

Once the water main was exposed, it showed two holes the 
size of cookies about a hand's width apart. Apparently that
was a weak spot in the steel pipe, and somebody slamming 
a valve shut too quickly somewhere, blew out those weak
spots.

They put a wrap-around sleeve onto the main, replaced the 
smashed part of the sewer line with plastic, put the dirt back
into the hole and tamped it down. Three hours after that crew
had shown up, they drove away.
And I had water again!

--------------
If you are running low on ink or toner, get refills THIS week!
Atlantic Inkjet has Earth Week discounts this week.
You get free shipping even on small orders, 
and a 10 % discount with this coupon code:
EARTH2012

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
4977 -BC- Johannes Kepler's date for creation of universe
1509 Pope Julius II excommunicates Italian state of Venice 
1565 1st Spanish settlement in Philippines, Cebu City
1773 British Parliament passes the Tea Act (eventually leads to 
  Boston Tea Party on December 16) 
1805 US Marines attack shores of Tripoli (pirates)
1813 in revenge for the Canucks burning down the White House in 1812,
  Americans under General Pike capture Toronto today in 1913; Pike is killed 
1861 West Virginia secedes from Virginia after Virginia secedes from US 
1870 Heinrich Schliemann discovers Troy
1881 Pogroms against Russian Jews start in Elisabethgrad 
1920 Pogrom leader Petljoera declares Ukraine Independence 
1923 Mussolini government on the side of the winners at the end of WWI takes South Tirol
1941 German troops occupy Athens Greece 
1945 2nd Republic of Austria forms, however, that did not stop Allied bombing
1946 1st radar installation aboard a commercial ship installed 
1960 1st atomic powered electric-drive submarine launched (Tullibee) 
1965 RC Duncan patents "Pampers" disposable diaper 
1976 Arabic Monetary Fund established in Abu Dhabi
1977 Bloody riots in Soweto South Africa 
1978 Afghanistan revolution, pro-Russian, anti CIA military coup 
1987 US bars Austrian Chancellor Waldheim from entering US, due to his aid of 
  Nazi Germany as a juvenile during WWII 
1989 Beijing students take over Tiananmen Square in China
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes." --- Robert Frost
A Cajun was stopped by a game warden in South Louisiana recently with two ice chests of fish, leaving a bayou well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" "Naw, ma fren, I ain't got none of dem, no. Deez here are my pet fish." "Pet fish?" "Ya. Avery night I take deez here fish down to de bayou and let dem swim 'round for a while. Den I whistle and dey jump rat back inta dis here ice chest and I take dem home." "That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that!" The Cajun looked at the game warden for a moment and then said, "It's de truth ma' fren. I'll show you. It really works." "Okay, I've GOT to see this!" The Cajun poured the fish into the bayou and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to him and said, "Well?" "Well, what?" said the Cajun. "When are you going to call them back?" "Call who back?" "The FISH!" "What fish?"
Learn Photoshop in a Day! A Complete Photoshop Guide For People Who Hate Normal Manuals, Aimed At Beginners And Moves On To Advanced Level. Learning Photoshop The Easy Way. A Clearly Written And Illustrated E-book With A New Method Of Learning. Change the red car to a blue one. YOU can do it! Easy to follow step-by-step tutorials. Get Photoshop in a Day!

The computer swallowed grandma. Yes, honestly its true. She pressed 'control' and 'enter' And disappeared from view. It devoured her completely, The thought just makes me squirm. She must have caught a virus Or been eaten by a worm. I've searched through the recycle bin And files of every kind; I've even used the Internet, But nothing did I find. In desperation, I asked Jeeves My searches to refine. The reply from him was negative, Not a thing was found 'online'. So, if inside your 'Inbox,' My Grandma you should see, Please 'Copy', 'Scan' and 'Paste' her And send her back to me! If you print that with a fancy font on some art paper, maybe on top of a nice picture, I think it would make a great Mothers Day present fro grandma!
Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Yusra Farhan, 50, in Phoenix, AZ Iraqi Woman Arrested After Beating, Tying Her Daughter to Bed for Talking to Man An Iraqi woman living in Phoenix has been arrested after admitting to beating her daughter and shackling the 19-year-old to a bed as punishment for speaking with a man. After the mother admitted to the crime and explained the catalyst was her “Iraqi culture,“ all elements bear the markings of an ”honor beating.” Phoenix Police arrested 50-year-old Yusra Farhan Wednesday night at St. Joseph’s Hospital where her daughter was being treated for her injuries. The young woman told police her mother beat her with with a shoe before ultimately shackling her waist to a bed to prevent her from leaving the house. 550KFYI reports that the rope was secured by a padlock. Farhan told officers that in Iraqi culture, females are not allowed to have contact with males, thus a daughter is not permitted to have a boyfriend. Farhan resisted arrest and called out to other family members present to help her fight off police, according to court paperwork. Those family members also jumped into the fray and had to be restrained in the hospital’s emergency area, according to police. Farhan was arrested on charges of aggravated assault, unlawful imprisonment, and resisting arrest. The victim claims her father also struck her several times prior to enduring the assault by her mother. The battered woman reported that she was set free only to attend school the morning of the 8th. When the victim arrived at school, she disclosed the details of her assault and was transported to the hospital by the Phoenix Fire department. That barbarian bonehead, Yusra Farhan, needs to be deported back to Iraq!
Tech Support Pits: From: Omar Re: Command Line in W7 Dear Webby In XP we had TweakUI to set up a line in the right-click menu, that let us "Open Command Line Here". How do we get that in Blonde Windows? Omar Dear Omar Contrary to all expectations, some rebel at Microsoft listened to demands to have that included. It is hidden from the innocent babes, but it IS there! In the file explorer, hold down SHIFT and right-click a folder. Then you get a full menu, just as if you had installed TweakUI, and forgotten you did. Whenever you need to go to the command line, for example to copy or move files limited by date, you can do it just as easily as if you were in XP. Have FUN! DearWebby
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My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me about JUSTICE - "One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU.. THEN you'll see what it's like." MOM TAUGHT ME RELIGION "You better pray that will come out of that carpet!" MOM TAUGHT ME LOGIC "Because I said so, that's why!" MOM TAUGHT ME IRONY "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT CONTORTIONISM "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT WEATHER "It looks like a tornado went through your room!" MOM TAUGHT ME HOW TO SOLVE PHYSICS PROBLEMS "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen then?" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT HYPOCRISY "If I told you once, I've told you a million times-don't exaggerate!" MOM TAUGHT ME ABOUT BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION "Stop acting like your father!" And most of all..... MOM TAUGHT ME THE CIRCLE OF LIFE "I brought you into this world, I can take you out!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remove Condensation from Car Windows When your windshield steams up on you, a clean blackboard eraser kept in the glove compartment of your car or truck can be quite handy for wiping off the moisture. The eraser is less bulky than a cloth and doesn't shed lint on the glass. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO If you see a "Tunnel" sign, crank down the windows, turn the air onto the windows and grab your eraser. Quite often the sudden coolness of a tunnel will cause the windows to fog up, especially if you have a bunch of noisy kids in the vehicle. Tell them to close their mouths and cover them with their hands, or else the tunnel ghost will kill them. With tunnels, acidents due to kids fogging up the windows are a very close second to impaired driving, however, since tunnel accidents are usually fatal, it is sometimes impossible to tell whether an impared driver got spooked by the sudden fogging up of the windows, and would have been OK, if that had not happened. Prepare the kids before any vacation trip. Whenever you scream "TUNNEL", that means "Shut up and hold your yap, and grab the eraser or cloth, ready to clean the window." Being prepared for that sudden fogging up may save a whole bunch of lives! Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Thanks to Linda for this one: My husband is wonderful with our baby daughter, but often he turns to me for advice. Recently, I was in the shower when he poked his head in to ask, "What should I feed Lily for lunch?" "That's up to you," I replied. "There's all kinds of food. Why don't you pretend I'm not at home?" A few minutes later, my cell phone rang. I answered it to hear my husband asking, "Yeah, hi, Honey. Uh..what should I feed Lily for lunch?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two Irish mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years." The other woman said, "Well, my Francis is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time." "My word," the first Irish mother said. "You must be so proud." "I am," the second mother replied. "And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him one heck of a big party."
» the Life of Flowers


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Earth Week Coupon for ink and toner 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, April 26

Thank you Marian!
--------------
If you are running low on ink or toner, get refills THIS week!

Atlantic Inkjet has Earth Week discounts this week.
You get free shipping even on small orders, 
and a 10 % discount with this coupon code:
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Feel free to give the coupon to friends. They will get the
same Earth Week discount and same free shipping
in Canada and the USA. And you don't lose the coupon
by giving it to friends, same as i don't lose it, by giving 
it to you. 

I don't get anything for giving you the coupon, other than 
knowing you will get top quality ink or toner at the best 
possible price.

I just combined my April, May and June order and got the
discount. 

Dig out the coins from your sofa and order your ink or toner
now. The Earth WEEK discount is only THIS WEEK!

By the way, Atlantic Inkjet does accept PayPal, not just
credit cards. 

If you need ink or toner in the next 3 months, 
then don't lose the 10% discount and free shipping!
Go to Atlantic Inkjet .com
select what you need, and in the checkout, where you can 
enter a coupon, use EARTH2012

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1478 Easter is celebrated for the first time 
1514 Copernicus makes his 1st observations of Saturn
1563 Jews are expelled from France by order of Charles VI
1607 1st British to establish an American colony land at Cape Henry VA
1645 Michael Cardozo becomes 1st Jewish lawyer in Brazil
1654 All Jews are expelled from Brazil 
1721 Smallpox vaccination 1st administrated 
1841 "Bombay Gazette" begins publishing on silk 
1887 Huntsville Electric Company is established to sell electricity 
1915 Italy secretly signes Pact of London with Britain, France & Russia
1959 Cuba invades Panama
1971 Turkey state of siege proclaimed 
1980 Iran begins scattering US hostages from the US Embassy
1981 Largest US bank robbery (Tucson AZ), more than $33 million stolen
1984 President Ronald Reagan visits China 
1986 Arnold Schwarzenegger weds newscaster Maria Shriver 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can. --- Cullen Hightower "Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted." --- Groucho Marx
Stupid laws in Colorado: It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor. The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park. Are they trying to imply that the dogs are smarter than Colorado law makers ?
Learn Photoshop in a Day! A Complete Photoshop Guide For People Who Hate Normal Manuals, Aimed At Beginners And Moves On To Advanced Level. Learning Photoshop The Easy Way. A Clearly Written And Illustrated E-book With A New Method Of Learning. Change the red car to a blue one. YOU can do it! Easy to follow step-by-step tutorials. Get Photoshop in a Day!

A little old lady is sitting on a bench in Miami Beach. A man walks over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, "Are you a stranger here?" He replies, "I used to live here years ago." "So, where were you all these years?" "In prison," he says. "For what did they put you in prison?" He looks at her, and very quietly says, "I killed my wife." "Oh," says the woman. "So you're single..."
Click on the picture for the large version That looks like the Klettergarten (Climbing garten, a kindergarten for rock climbers), where I learned to climb, when I was a kid.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Darius Williams, 19, in Memphis, tennessee Bonehead asks officer if he's Jesus, steals patrol car MEMPHIS, Tenn. (AP) - Darius Williams saw the light. It just happened to be blue. According to The Commercial Appeal, a police officer found the 19-year-old Williams walking before dawn Thursday along Interstate 240. Police said after asking if the officer was Jesus, Williams became irate in the back of the police car, pushed down the window and climbed on top of the vehicle. The officer got out and tried to talk Williams down and ended up in a scuffle with him. Williams got away from the officer, got into the police car and took off the wrong way on the freeway. He wrecked a short distance away and was captured. He was charged with felony theft, aggravated assault and resisting arrest.
Tech Support Pits: From: Many Re: Photoshop course link Problem with that link Sorry about the goof-up. That should have been http://webby.com/photoday. I forgot the http: Yes, it is an eBook, a very low cost course. However, it does not include the cost of the Photoshop program! It is just a course to learn how to use it and get comfortable with it. Millions of people have bought the program, but got overwhelmed by all the options and possibilities, and the fancy terms and vocabulary, and they are not using it. This eBook course is for those people, who HAVE the program, but are scared of it. A lot of what you learn in that course will also apply to most other graphics programs. Photoshop is simply the best known, becasue it is the most advertised. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
One workman asks another, "How long have you been working here?" The other one replies, "Since they threatened to fire me."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pillow Case as Sewing Machine Cover For an inexpensive sewing machine cover, purchase a good quality pillow case from the thrift store or yard sale. Cut and shape the bottom, fancy open end to fit your sewing machine. Sew across the edge you just cut. You can add lace or whatever you like to embellish it. By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
This preacher was looking for a good used lawn mower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning. "This mower work, son?" the preacher asked. Little Johnny said, "Sure does -- just pull on the cord hard, though." The preacher took the mower home and when he got ready to mow he yanked and pulled and tugged on that cord. Nothing worked. It wouldn't start. Thinking he'd been swindled, he took the mower back to Little Johnny's house. "You said this would work if I pulled on the cord hard enough." "Well," Johnny said, "you need to cuss at it sometimes." The preacher was aghast. "I've not done that in years!" "Just keep yanking on that cord, Preacher. It'll come back to you."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all those big rocks. Wherever did they come from?" "The glaciers brought them down," said the guide. "But where are the glaciers?" The lady asked. "The glaciers," said the guide in a weary voice, "have gone back for more rocks."
» Weird Wrecks


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Can't vote 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, April 25

Thank you Georgiana!!

When putting a fitted shet onto a bed, I have always admired,
and envied, how women look for a tiny mark, that is totally
invisible to men, shake the sheet and it is lined up, then 
they flop onto the bed, tuck down the corners and in 
seconds it is all done. 

I have to try the sixteen different ways and still suspect, that
the sheet is upside down.

Today I managed to get it right in only 15 tries!
As tight as a painter's canvas and all the seams underneath.
I considered that a good omen and went to get my big Mark-All.
Now each corner has a clearly legible mark on the downwards
portion: SE, SW, NE, NW.
So there!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1507 Geographer Martin Waldseemuller 1st used name America 
1607 Battle at Gibraltar Dutch fleet beats Spanish/Portuguese fleet
1684 Patent granted for the thimble
1792 Guillotine 1st used, executes highwayman Nicolas J Pelletier 
1850 Paul Julius Reuter, uses 40 pigeons to carry stock market prices
1859 Ground broken for Suez Canal
1898 US declares war on Spain over Cuba 
1901 New York becomes 1st state requiring auto license plates
1905 Whites win right to vote in South Africa 
1926 Persian cossack officer Reza Chan crowns himself Shah Palawi 
1945 Last Boeing B-17 attack against Nazi Germany 
1945 US & Soviet forces meet at Torgau Germany on Elbe River
1953 Scientists identify DNA
1954 Bell labs announces 1st solar battery
1957 1st experimental sodium nuclear reactor operated 
1959 St Lawrence Seaway linking Atlantic, Great Lakes opens to shipping
1960 1st submerged circumnavigation of Earth completed (Triton) 
1961 Robert Noyce patents integrated circuit 
1971 About 200,000 anti-Vietnam War protesters march on Washington DC 
1980 Announcement of Jimmy Carter hostage rescue bungle in Iran 
1982 In accordance with Camp David, Israel completes Sinai withdrawal
1994 14" of snow in Southern California 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Fathers send their sons to college either because they went to college or because they didn't. --- L. L. Henderson In politics, absurdity is not a handicap. --- Napoleon Bonaparte "Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you." --- William Arthur Ward
I was trying to get my seventh-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers. "How would you feel," I asked, "if someone showed up on your doorstep who looked very different, spoke a strange language and wore unusual clothes? Wouldn't you be a bit scared?" "Nah," one boy answered, "I'd just figure it was my sister's date."
Learn Photoshop in a Day! A Complete Photoshop Guide For People Who Hate Normal Manuals, Aimed At Beginners And Moves On To Advanced Level. Learning Photoshop The Easy Way. A Clearly Written And Illustrated E-book With A New Method Of Learning. Change the red car to a blue one. YOU can do it! Easy to follow step-by-step tutorials. Get Photoshop in a Day!

Thanks to Irene for this: I have the most marvelous recipe for meat loaf! All I have to do is mention it to my husband and he says, "Let's eat out!"
Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Kimberly King Great-granny drinks fifth while babysitting, gets arrested Police arrested a West Monroe woman after she reportedly got drunk and passed out while she was babysitting her two great-grandchildren. Kimberly King,50, of 222 Trace West, was arrested Thursday following a complaint by her granddaughter According to the arrest affidavit, King’s granddaughter left her one and two year old children with King while she went to work. When the complainant came back four hours later, King was reportedly passed out. Police say both children had soiled their diapers to the point that the diapers were falling off. Police found King in the bed where officers shined a flashlight in her face and woke her up. Police say King had no visible injuries but admitted to drinking a fifth of Jim Beam while the children were in her care. King was arrested and charged with two counts of child abandonment.
Tech Support Pits: From: Carole Re: Can't vote Dear Webby, I haven't been able to vote for you for a long time, what is going on? Carole Dear Carole Theoretically they have fixed it. You can try registering there and then vote. If you are registered and logged in, then you don't have to wait for an email confirmation request. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A young couple were touring southern Florida and happened to stop at a rattlesnake farm they discovered along the road. After seeing the sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes. "Gosh!" exclaimed the young woman. "You certainly have a dangerous job. Don't you ever get bitten by the snakes?" "Yes, on rare occasions," answered the handler. "Well," she continued, "what do you do when you're bitten by a snake?" "I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I am bitten, I make cut across the fang entry and then suck the poison from the wound." "What, uh...what would happen if you were to accidentally sit on a rattler?" persisted the woman. "Ma'am," answered the snake handler, "that will be the day I learn who my real friends are."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Post its For Bookmarks I use post it note paper as bookmarks. You can get the really small ones in a variety of colors, they work really great. Plus, they don't slip out of books like regular bookmarks. By LuLu from Chicago, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Bernie was unfortunate enough to be hit by a truck and ended up in the hospital. His best friend Morris came to visit him. Bernie struggles to tell Morris, "My wife Sadie visits me three times a day. She's so good to me. Every day, she reads to me at the bedside." "What does she read?" asks Morris. "My life insurance policy."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word spelled 'p-u-t' or 'p-u-t-t'?" she asked the instructor. "'P-u-t-t' is correct," he replied. "'P-u-t' means to place a thing where you want it. 'P-u-t-t' means a vain attempt to do the same thing."
» Wieliczka Salt Mine





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The Little Red Hen [version 2012] 

"Who will help me plant my wheat?" asked the little red hen.

"Not I," said the cow.

"Not I," said the duck.

"Not I," said the pig.

"Not I," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself." She planted her crop and the wheat grew and ripened.

"Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.

"Not I," said the duck.

"Out of my classification," said the pig.

"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.

"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen, and so she did.

"Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.

"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.

"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.

"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.

"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.

"Then I will do it by myself," said the little red hen.

She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see.

They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share but the little red hen said, "No, I shall eat all five loaves."

"Excess profits!" cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)

"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)

"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)

The pig just grunted in disdain. (Harry Reid)

And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.

Then the farmer (Obama) came He said to the little red hen, "You must not be so greedy."

"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.

"Exactly," said Barack the farmer. "That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle."

And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, for now I truly understand."

But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free. And all the Liberals smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.

Individual initiative had died but nobody noticed; perhaps no one cared so long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for.

EPILOGUE

Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs. Hillary got $8 million for hers.

That's $20 million for the memories from two people, who for eight years repeatedly testified, under oath, that they couldn't remember anything.

IS THIS A GREAT BARNYARD OR WHAT?



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X'ed pictrues in Hotmail 



Zoom the font size for best readability   


Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, April 24

Thank you, Jeane!

We had our first really warm day! On the way back from the
post ofice, I had to take my jacket off, and decided to bring 
it and the mail home before going to vote, instead of voting 
on the way home.

The hot wind from the West sure felt nice!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1061 Halley's Comet sparks English monk to predict country will be destroyed 
1558 Queen Mary Stuart of Scotland marries French crown prince François
1704 "Boston News-Letter", 1st successful newsletter in US, is established 
1833 Patent granted for 1st soda fountain to Jacob Evert & George Dulty 
1872 Volcano Vesuvius erupts 
1877 Russia declares war on Turkey through Romania
1898 Spain declares war on US rejecting ultimatum to withdraw from Cuba 
1898 US fleet under commodore Dewey sails from Hong Kong to Philippines
1908 Mr & Mrs Jacob Murdock become the 1st to travel across the US by car, 
they leave Los Angeles in a Packard & arrive in NYC in 
32 days-5 hours-25 minutes 
1915 Massacre of Armenians by Turks (Armenian Martyrs Day) 
1916 Easter rebellion of Irish against British occupation begins
1920 British Mandate over Palestine goes into effect (lasts 28 years)
1920 Polish troops attack Ukraine 
1923 Colonel Jacob Schick patents Schick shavers
1941 British army begins evacuation of Greece 
1944 1st Boeing B-29 arrives in China "over the Hump"
1944 RAF bombs Munich 
1954 Australia & USSR break diplomatic relations
1961 JFK accepts "sole responsibility" following Bay of Pigs 
1961 The Vasa, which sunk on her maiden voyage in 1628, is raised 
1962 MIT sends TV signal by satellite for 1st time California to Massachusetts 
1968 Leftist students take over Columbia University, New York NY 
1969 Lebanese army in battle with Palestinians
1969 US B-52's drop 3,000 tons of bombs at Cambodian boundary 
1970 People's Rebublic of China launches its 1st satellite transmitting song "East is Red" 
1980 US military operation to save 52 hostages in Iran, fails, 8 die
1981 IBM-PC computer introduced
1981 US ends grain embargo against USSR
1992 Vinson Pike fined £1000 for distributing obscene computer pictures 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"It is well to think well; it is divine to act well." --- Horace Mann Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for the greatest fool may ask more than the wisest man can answer. --- Charles Caleb Colton
A man is struck in the head by a rock during a demonstration in Israel. A woman rushes over, kneels down and places his head in her lap. "Are you comfortable?" she asks. "Oh, I do OK." he replied. "Some part time work here & there and I have a pretty good stock portfolio."
Grow food with a minimum amount of work in a minimum amount of space with Food4Wealth. Absolutely everything you need to know to grow healthy, fresh organic food,
without all the problems. Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable. It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to understand.

This package includes a fully illustrated step by step manual PLUS AudioBook version and over 60 minutes of video. Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard, and stop worrying about harmful chemicals! Get Food4Wealth Now! 60 day money back guarantee!

"Hey Bob, did your wife have much to say when you got home last night?" "No, but that didn't keep her from yelling for two hours."
Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Marcus Hunt, 22 Homesick for jail in 16 minutes Marcus Hunt, a 22-year-old Florida man was arrested Tuesday after he allegedly committed a crime just 16 minutes after he was released from jail for another crime. According to Tampa Police, Hunt was booked into jail last Saturday after he was allegedly caught driving without a license and then attempting to flee from police. He was released from county jail at 4:22 p.m. Saturday after he posted a $2,250 bond. Just 16 minutes after Hunt was released from jail, he approached a man on a bike, struck him in the face and then stole his bike. Officers arrested Hunt at his home Tuesday after a warrant had been issued for his arrest. He was booked into the Hillsborough County Jail and charged with robbery. His new and improved bond has been set at $25,000.
Tech Support Pits: From: Janet Re: X'ed pictures on hotmail Dear Webby, why do I get an X in a little box in the upper left hand corner of all the pictures that are sent, or that I receive on my in coming and out going email. I either get this X or the pictures are all grey, I am pretty dumb when it comes to trying to figure out this computer. You give others such good advice, maybe you can help me!!!!!! I have been on your Dear Webby News Letter for several years, lots of laughs and good help tips, thanks.. Since my name is Janet I always look to see if it's still at the bottom of your "Today In" 2012 Janet smiled Thank you Janet Dear Janet Your Ho'mail designates your subscription as spam. Quite possibly that causes it to mess up with the pictures. The pictures are there, and when you reply to me, they become visible again. I guess they are embarrassed about their screw-up and don't want outsiders to see that, For the short term, try putting humor@webby.com into the Friends List. That might fix the problem. For the long term, it might be a good idea to get a respectable address. Unless you are logging on with Yahoo, you can get a respectable address from your ISP. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Working as a radiology technician in a hospital emergency room, I took X rays of a trauma patient. I brought the films to our radiologist, who studied the multiple fractures of both femurs and pelvis. "What happened to this patient?" he asked in astonishment. "He fell out of a tree," I reported. The radiologist wanted to know what the patient was doing up a tree. "I'm not sure, but his paperwork states he works for Acme Tree Experts." Looking again at the X rays, the radiologist said, "Cross out 'experts.'"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Add Storage By Going Up When you don't have a lot of space, try going up instead of around the room. A stacked washer and dryer is a good example. Floor to ceiling gives you lots of storage for anything. Try stacking pieces of furniture for more space. By MelindaR. from Jessieville, AR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a long hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left. Later, the wife's roommate commented, "Your pastor is sure a lot friendlier than mine!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"I've just had the most awful time," said a boy to his friends. "First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy." "Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his friends. "I don't know," the boy replied. "Toughest spelling test I ever had."
» Crop Circles, Apline Style





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The Illogic Of Climate Hysteria 
Humans have a rocky relationship with randomness. On the one hand, we declare that “shit happens”–an acknowledgment that bad things sometimes occur for no particular reason. But more often than not, our minds resist randomness, searching for meaning even where none exists.

read more here





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Walter Williams: The Power of Profit 





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The Humane Society 





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If I Wanted America To Fail 





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Sad News 







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Toner for odd numbered DELL printer 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, April 23

Thank you Betty!

In case you have not heard the ruckus about Kraft Food's
Oreo Ad, showing a breastfeeding baby not feeding at a 
model's breast, Kraft says the ad was not meant for the 
public. After Youtube and others spread it all over the web,
Kraft claimed it was just meant for executives at an 
advertising forum. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1014 King Brian Boru of Ireland beats Danes at Battle of Clontarf 
1348 1st English order of knighthood founded (Order of the Garter) 
1633 Sweden & Protestant German monarchy form Union of Heilbronn 
1851 Canada issues its 1st postage stamps
1867 Queen Victoria & Napoleon III turn down plans for a channel tunnel 
1891 Jews are expelled from Moscow Russia 
1938 Sudeten Germans in Czechoslovakia demand self government
1941 Greece Army surrenders to German Nazi's 
1941 RAF brings Greek king George II to Egypt 
1942 4-day allied bombing on Rostock begins 
1949 Chinese Red army conquerors Nanjing
1949 Netherlands annexes Elten & Tudderen
1956 US Supreme court ends race segregation on buses
1962 1st US satellite to reach the moon launched 
1965 Launch of 1st Soviet communications satellite
1967 Soyuz 1 launched; Vladimir Komarov becomes 1st in-flight 
casualty when its parachute lines became tangled and the 
parachutes failed to open properly upon return to Earth 
1968 1st decimal coins issued in Britain (5 & 10 pence) 
1971 Soyuz 10 launched; soft docked with Salyut 1
1972 Apollo 16 astronauts explore Moon surface 
1977 Military workers kill 300-500 students in Addis Ababa 
1988 A Greek pedals human-powered aircraft 74 miles 
1992 McDonald's opens its 1st fast-food restaurant in China 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"This has all the earmarks of an eyesore." --- James McSheehy "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian." --- Dennis Wholey
A teacher was winding up a discussion in her fourth grade class on the importance of curiosity. Teacher: "Where would we be today if no one had ever been curious?" Lucy: "In the Garden of Eden?"
Grow food with a minimum amount of work in a minimum amount of space with Food4Wealth. Absolutely everything you need to know to grow healthy, fresh organic food,
without all the problems. Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable. It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to understand.

This package includes a fully illustrated step by step manual PLUS AudioBook version and over 60 minutes of video. Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard, and stop worrying about harmful chemicals! Get Food4Wealth Now! 60 day money back guarantee!

>From Myrna I love to read those advice columns in the newspaper. I read one this morning. It said, "What's the worst thing a wife can get on her twenty-fifth wedding anniversary?" And you know what the answer was? "Morning Sickness."
Click on the picture for the large version Politically correct green cat
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Renee Jackson, 35 in Fort Smith, Arkansas Silver Tonged Drunk Renee Jackson, a 35-year-old New Orleans man was jailed after he allegedly attempted to rob a convenience store with a pair of hot dog tongs. According to the Fort Smith Police Department, Jackson allegedly entered a local convenience store, grabbed a pair of silver tongs used for hot dogs, then demanded money from the clerk and customers. Witnesses say Jackson appeared to be extremely intoxicated, so no one took him seriously. The clerk called 911 and stated that he was attempting to stab people inside the store with the tongs. He ultimately pushed one of the customers, but no one was inured. Investigators say when officers arrived on the scene, Jackson was outside the building. Police stated that he had written a note to the store, apologizing for what he had done. Jackson told investigators that he became distraught after arguing with his wife and wanted to go to jail because his family didn't appreciate him. He was booked into jail and charged with two counts of attempted aggravated robbery.
Tech Support Pits: From: Earl Re: Toner for DELL printer Hi Webby, The newsletter is great and the Teck tips save a lot of time figuring out how to correct mistakes. My question is, do you get your toner for your 1350 laser printer from Atlanticinkjet, my 1250c takes the same toner and I can't find it on their web site. Thanks for any help you can give me on this subject. Thanks Earl Dear Earl We use DELL 1320c Color Laser, and yes, I get the toner from Atlantic Inkjet.com I have been getting the toner from Atlantic long before I got that printer many years ago. As a matter of fact, I will be ordering a couple of toner cartridges from Atlantic tomorrow. I like having full spares for every color sitting on the shelf, and their toner does not go bad. If you can't find the toner you need at Atlantic Inkjet.com, write to Dimnitris at dimitris@easygroup.us. Since DELL keeps adding new models and names almost daily, your model might not be listed. Dimitris will cross it over to whatever cartridge style it uses. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Elvira for this: I'd been working on my business degree for about a year when I finally got to take a popular finance course. I went to the bookstore to buy the text and was shocked to find out that it would cost me $96. I asked how much it was worth if I sold it back at the end of the semester. "You'll get $24," said the clerk. "This is insane," I protested as I wrote out the check. "I know," replied the clerk sympathetically. "I've always thought that a person who buys a book for $96 and then sells it back for $24 should fail that course."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Your Own Fabric Softener Squares Take a package of soft cloths (e.g., generic brand of J-Cloth) and cut them in half. Soak them in fabric softener, wring out well, and hang dry. When ready to put a load of clothes in the dryer, slip a dried softener sheet in. These can be used a few times over and then you can start the soaking process over again. The sheets last forever and you'll never need to buy fabric softener sheets again. By sooz from Toronto, ON Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Not expecting to do well on the economics exam, Joseph was excited by the first question: In any given year, and to the nearest ton, how much wheat did the United States export? Smiling confidently, he wrote, "1776. None."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
While visiting a friend who was in the hospital, I noticed several pretty nurses, each of whom was wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. I asked one nurse what the pin signified. Nothing," she said with a smile. "It's just to keep the doctors away."
» Popocatepetl





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Misc. Quotes 

"Apparently, I'm supposed to be more angry about what Mitt Romney does with his own money than what Barack Obama does with mine." --- Lillemor

The sages do not consider that making no mistakes is a blessing. They believe, rather, that the great virtue of man lies in his ability to correct his mistakes and continually make a new man of himself. --- Wang Yang-Ming

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at. --- Jimmy Demaret

"The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more." --- Max Kauffmann




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What to do when no mail is coming through Gmail? 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, April 22

Thank you Doris!
Thank you Nellie!

Finally I see well enough again to work.
Last night at 8 pm the shady back yard East of the house
still looked like fresh snow in bright sunlight. So I decided to
catch up on some of last year's missed sleep.

I wrote to Lewis at the Ezinefinder a few more times to
all his addresses, and by Saturday evening it seemed to be
working again, for registered users anyway. Whether the
voting via confirmation request email also works, we will 
find out when I enter the numbers into the graph tomorrow 
night, actually Monday morning around 02:30 am, 
when they normally update and show the previous day's votes.

Saturday was a beautiful and warm and sunny day. First day 
of the year, where I could comfortably eay lunch out on the
deck. I sure enjoyed that!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
0687 -BC- Chinese record a meteor shower in Lyra 
1056 Supernova Crab nebula last seen by the naked eye
1526 1st slave revolt occurs in South Carolina
1648 English army claims king Charles I responsible for bloodshed
1838 English steamship "Sirius" docks in NYC after Atlantic crossing 
1861 Robert E Lee named commander of Virginia Confederate forces
1864 US mints 2¢ coin (1st appearance of "In God We Trust") 
1889 Oklahoma land rush officially starts; as many as nine out of ten
 of these settlers had jumped the gun, earning themselves the name "Sooners" 
1898 1st Spanish-American War action USS Nashville, takes enemy ship 
1898 US President William McKinley orders blockade of Cuban harbors
1940 Rear Admiral Joseph Taussig testifies before US Senate Naval Affairs 
Committee that war with Japan is inevitable (He was right) 
1943 RAF shoots down 14 German transport planes over Mediterranean Sea 
1952 1st atomic explosion on network news, Nob NV 
1955 Congress orders all US coins bear motto "In God We Trust" 
1969 1st human eye transplant performed 
1983 Great Britain performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site 
1995 George Foreman beats Axel Schulz in 12 for heavyweight boxing title 
2012 US finished building a $750,000 soccer field for 
detainees in Guantanamo, Cuba
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"Apparently, I'm supposed to be more angry about what Mitt Romney does with his own money than what Barack Obama does with mine." --- Lillemor The sages do not consider that making no mistakes is a blessing. They believe, rather, that the great virtue of man lies in his ability to correct his mistakes and continually make a new man of himself. --- Wang Yang-Ming Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at. --- Jimmy Demaret "The amount of sleep required by the average person is about five minutes more." --- Max Kauffmann
The artist tried to concentrate on his work, but the attraction he felt for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette, took her in his arms, and kissed her. She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she said, "but I'm not that kind!" "Actually, I've never tried to kiss a model before," he protested. "Really?" she said, softening. "Well, how many models have there been?" "Four so far," he replied, thinking back. "A jug, two apples, a tractor, and a vase...."
Grow food with a minimum amount of work in a minimum amount of space with Food4Wealth. Absolutely everything you need to know to grow healthy, fresh organic food,
without all the problems. Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable. It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to understand.

This package includes a fully illustrated step by step manual PLUS AudioBook version and over 60 minutes of video. Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard, and stop worrying about harmful chemicals! Get Food4Wealth Now! 60 day money back guarantee!

Three rabbinical students were caught by the Rabbi gambling and drinking in the company of undesirable characters before the sun set on the evening of the Sabbath. The Rabbi called them into his study the next day. They all confessed to having given in to weakness, and admitted that they deserved punishment. The Rabbi thought for a moment, then went into his kitchen and brought back three bags of dried peas. "Put these in your shoes," he told them, "and walk on them for a week, to remind yourself how hard life can be when you turn away from your faith." A few days later the three students met. One was limping terribly, had dark circles under his eyes, and looked very tired. The others seemed much as he had been the week before. The first student said, "How is it that you are walking so freely? Didn't you do as the Rabbi told us and put the peas in your shoes?" "Of course I did," said the second. "How could I disobey the Rabbi? I just chose to wear a different pair of shoes." The third student interrupted, "The rabbi expressly stated that we were to WALK on the peas." The first student inquired how he could be walking so well if he was walking on the peas. The third student smiled and said, "I boiled them first."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Shriya Biman Patel, 25 in Austin, Texas Jailed After Setting Husband On Fire, Locking Him In Bathroom To Burn Shriya Biman Patel, a 25-year-old North Austin woman was jailed Thursday after she allegedly set her husband on fire and then locked him in the bathroom to burn. According to the Austin Police Department, officers were called to the couple's apartment around 9:15 p.m. after witnesses reported that a man was screaming for help from his balcony. One caller told police that the man was yelling things like "why would you burn me?" and "All I wanted to do is love you." When officers arrived on the scene, they found a badly burned man. He was naked and writhing on the floor, screaming in pain. When officers asked the man what happened, he stated that he was in the bathtub expecting to receive a massage from Patel when instead, she burst in and poured gasoline on him. Patel then lit him on fire with a candle and then locked the bathroom door, trapping the man inside. The man was able to kick down the door and escape, but not before sustaining severe burn injuries. Investigators say Patel had removed the smoke detectors from the apartment and disabled the sprinklers in preparation for the assault. They also found a Walmart receipt showing that she had purchased items used in the attack earlier that day. The victim was taken to the San Antonio Military Medical Center where he was treated for burns to 70% of his body. Although the couple has been married for about a year, Patel had just moved to the U.S. from India about a week prior. Patel was booked into jail and charged with arson and assault with a deadly weapon. She is currently being held in lieu of $1,000,000 bail.
Tech Support Pits: From: Betty Re: Not receiving any email Hi Webby I wrote to you yesterday but noticed i have not recieved any e-mails from anyone since the 18th. can you tell me why? Thanks Sweetie Betty Would you please send your answer to b*****@frontier.com in case this one does not work Betty B Dear Betty Most likely you have reached your limit with your Gmail. Dump the spam, dump the trash. That will give you some elbow room. Then go into the settings and look for where you assign Keyboard Hotkeys Assign for example "1" to select all mails on that page and "`",the key to the left of the "1" for deleting all selected mails. (Without the "quotes of course) Next set it to show 100 mails per page. Then go to the oldest. Hit 1 to select all Hit ' to dump those. Keep doing that until you have 50% free. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
An interoffice softball game was held every year between the marketing and support staff of one company. The support staff whipped the marketing department soundly. To show just "how" the marketing department earns their keep, they posted this memo on the bulletin board after the game: "The Marketing Department is pleased to announce that for the Softball Season, we came in second place, having lost but one game all year. The Support Department, however, had a rather dismal season, as they won only one game."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Book Exchange Party One year, my daughter hosted a book exchange for some of her friends and neighbors. Kids brought their used books and took turns selecting new old books. We baked a cake shaped like a book and that was it. The kids played outside afterward. No expense but for the cake and everyone had some books to enjoy afterward. By Jackie from Medinah, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Some guy is claiming that a tonic of beer and urine will improve your garden. That might explain why the lawns around frat houses always seem to be in desperate need of mowing.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital. "This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are almost well."
» Machu Picchu





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Politician 

An old doctor and his nurse were on the train, going to a Medical Conference. Opposite them was a man furiously scratching his elbow.

"I wonder what's the matter with him?" asked the nurse.

"He's a patient of mine and, in confidence, I can tell you that he suffers badly from hemorrhoids," replied the doctor.

"Well, why he's scratching his elbow?" asked the puzzled nurse.

"Oh, he's a politician, and he doesn't know his ass from his elbow."-





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How to fix pictures, that are sawed off on new W7 Laptop? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, April 20
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!




Thank you Doris!
Thank you Nellie!

Today I have to go to Calgary and get injections into both 
eyes. I might not see well enough to write and send the 
Saturday issue, so I apologize for that in advance.
By Sunday I should be able to again see enough.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
0295 8th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet 
1505 Jews are expelled from Orange Burgundy by Philibert of Luxembourg 
1770 Captain Cook arrives in New South Wales
1775 British begin siege of Boston 
1792 France declares war on Austria, Prussia & Sardinia 
1861 Colonel Robert E Lee resigns from Union army
1894 136,000 mine workers strike in Ohio for pay increase 
1919 Polish Army captures Vilno, Lithuania from Soviet Army 
1926 1st check sent by radio facsimile transmission across the Atlantic 
1936 Jews repel an Arab attack in Petach Tikvah Palestine 
1945 Soviet troops enter Berlin 
1958 Morocco demands departure of Spanish troops 
1967 US planes bomb Haiphong for 1st time during the Vietnam War
1972 Apollo 16's Young & Duke land on Moon with Boeing Lunar Rover #2 
1973 Canadian ANIK A2 becomes 1st commercial satellite in orbit 
1980 Cubans begin to arrive in US from Mariel boatlift
1983 President Ronald Reagan signs a $165 billion bail-out for Social Security 
1988 US accuses Renamo of killing 100,000 Mozambiquians
1999 Deadliest school shooting in US history at Columbine High School, Littleton CO
Jewish Passover/Pesach (Feast of Deliverance) (Nisan 15, 5760 AM) 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Everyone is as God has made him, and oftentimes a great deal worse. --- Miguel de Cervantes Women demand their men to be reliable and predictable, mostly so that they can accuse them of being boring. --- Socratex
During an award ceremony the wife of Spain's ambassador to Washington asked former Sen. George Mitchell if he could make his speech a bit longer, since the ambassador had still not arrived from the airport. Mitchell replied: "I spent years in the U.S. Senate, Madam. I can speak on any subject for any length of time -- especially on a subject about which I have no particular knowledge."
Grow food with a minimum amount of work in a minimum amount of space with Food4Wealth. Absolutely everything you need to know to grow healthy, fresh organic food,
without all the problems. Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable. It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to understand.

This package includes a fully illustrated step by step manual PLUS AudioBook version and over 60 minutes of video. Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard, and stop worrying about harmful chemicals! Get Food4Wealth Now! 60 day money back guarantee!

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely. That's what he will reply and we will have the proof we need to nail him."
Click on the picture for the large version Popocatepetl, Mexico, messing up the pollution statistics again!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Michael Baker, 20 in Jenkins, Kentucky Facebooked into jail APRIL 18--A Kentucky bonehead is facing a misdemeanor rap after he siphoned gasoline from a police car, a theft that came to the attention of cops after the perp posted a Facebook photo memorializing the crime. As seen in the above photo, as Michael Baker, 20, was swiping the gas last month from a Jenkins Police Department squad car, he made sure to flip the bird as his girlfriend snapped a picture. After obtaining a copy of the photo (which began circulating in Jenkins) police arrested Baker Monday evening for theft by unlawful taking, according to an arrest warrant, which alleges that he “stole gas from a Jenkins City Police Cruiser” and then “posted a picture of his theft on facebook.” Baker, pictured in the mug shot, is scheduled to be arraigned today in Letcher County District Court.
Tech Support Pits: From: Rheta Re: Pictures sawed off DearWebby: It's been a while. But I read all your tips, and advice. Think you for sharing. My question to day is. First I have a new laptop. With Windows 7 :( and none of my pictures fit my screen. I even tried to save this sweet little mouse you have. Rheta Dear Rheta I guess you found out the hard way why I have been bitching against sawed off monitors. If you still have a standard monitor, plug it into the socket on the back or side of the laptop. W7 will recognize it and allow you to configure it any way you want it. Set it to 1600 x 1200, if the video card in that laptop can handle that. Then you can see everything in standard 4;3 format and proper sharpness on the old monitor, and have the sawed off monitor on the side. Some people turn the laptop "on it's ear", sideways. They use a regular keyboard anyway so as not to wreck their wrists with the laptop keyboard. With the sawed off laptop screen turned sideways, so that it is a tall and slim portrait format, it becomes quite handy for long lists, spreadsheets to record links, and especially for writing. With today's preference for narrow columns, the tall portrait format is just perfect. And on the right you have the old monitor in standard 4:3 format and high resolution for graphics or anything that looks better in standard format. Almost all modern laptops can handle a standard monitor on the side, in addition to their sawed off screen. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just absolutely had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he wasn't felling well and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?" The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why would you let him do that?" The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to brag to?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keeping Trash Bags in Place When I buy trash bags that don't like to stay in place, I simply measure off a length of elastic, sew it together and fit it over the trash can. When the bag is put into the can we simply pull the elastic over the edges and this keeps it from moving. We never take the elastic off, (except to clean it) we simply push it down a little, lift out the bag, and replace it. By Gem from VA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
>From David My mother once gave me two sweaters for my birthday. The next time we visited, I made sure to wear one. As we entered her home, instead of the expected smile, she said, "What's the matter? You didn't like the other one?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest room by a faulty lock. When he was finally discovered, and another worker were able to open the door with some difficulty. The lock was still jammed, so they blocked the door open while a maintenance worker was called. A bit later, noticed the door was closed again. He jiggled the doorknob and an unfamiliar voice from inside called, "Get me outa here!" "Don't worry," replied, "Maintenance should be sending somebody shortly." "They did," said the voice.
» Machu Picchu





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Solar Lights 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, April 19

Thank you Katherine!
Thanks you Dorothy!
Thank you Hermon!
Thank you Larry!
Thank you Richard!

Thanks to all who responded about the voting problems!
I wrote to Lewis at the Ezinefinder. He rarely responds,
but usually just works on problems, when there are a certain
nuber of reports. That seems to be the norm with Mac 
server administrators. Lewis is no exception.

For some silly reason, Mac server administrators seem to 
view any problem report as an attack on their cult and take 
it very personal. Well, if you don't get confirmation requests
today either, let me know and I'll write to him again.

You CAN avoid the confirmation requests, if you register at 
the EzineFinder. When you do that, it plants a one month 
cookie in your browser. Don't worry, that cookie does not 
have your bra size or weight or age. It just has your "pass key"
to get through to voting without the need for a confirmation email.
And in a month, that cookie crumbles. So, use a simple user
name and password. You have to put it in every month.
Of course, if you have RoboForm, then it will remember the
user name and password for you.

If you have not got it yet, I highly recommend it! You can even
use RoboForm to sync your passwords between different computers,
for eample desktop at work and laptop at home. Quite civilized!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1587 Sir Frances Drake sails into Cadiz Spain & sinks Spanish fleet 
1770 Captain James Cook 1st sees Australia 
1775 Revolution begins-Lexington Common, shot "heard round the world" 
1861 Lincoln orders blockade of Confederate ports (Civil War) 
909 Joan of Arc, declared a saint
1919 French assembly decides on 8 hour work day 
1923 New Egyptian law allows suffrage for men, except soldiers 
1932 President Herbert Hoover suggests 5 day work week 
1943 Jews attack Nazi occupation forces at Warsaw Ghetto under Mordechai Anielewicz 
1944 Allied fleet attack Sabang Sumatra 
1945 US aircraft carrier Franklin is heavily damaged in Japanese air raid 
1947 French ship explodes in Texas City harbor, kills about 522
1948 Chiang Kai-shek elected President of Nationalist China 
1971 USSR Salyut 1 launched; 1st manned lab in orbit 
1971 Charles Manson sentenced to life
1975 India launches 1st satellite with help of USSR
1982 USSR Salyut 7 space station put into orbit 
1987 Jacqueline Blanc, sets women's downhill ski speed record (124.902 mph) 
1987 Last wild condor captured on California wildlife reserve 
1991 Greyhound Bus posts $195 million loss for 1990 
1993 Branch Dividians/FBI 51 day standoff in Waco TX ends with the deaths of 
4 FBI Agents and numerous deaths of the cult members 
1994 Rodney King award $3,800,000 in compensation of police beating 
1995 Truck bomb outside Alfred P Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, 
kills 168 & injures 500, including subscriber Martin
Today they celebrate
Cuba : Bay of Pigs Victory Day (1961)
England : Primrose Day
2012  smiled


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

So much of what we call management consists in making it difficult for people to work. --- Peter Drucker The significance of man is that he is insignificant and is aware of it. --- Carl Becker
Adam and Eve had the ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
Grow food with a minimum amount of work in a minimum amount of space with Food4Wealth. Absolutely everything you need to know to grow healthy, fresh organic food,
without all the problems. Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable. It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to understand.

This package includes a fully illustrated step by step manual PLUS AudioBook version and over 60 minutes of video. Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard, and stop worrying about harmful chemicals! Get Food4Wealth Now! 60 day money back guarantee!

Doug went to the eye doctor for an examination because he was having trouble reading the newspaper. "Now that you're over 40," the doctor told him, "you've developed a condition called 'presbyopia,' in which the lens of your eye can no longer focus as well as it used to." Seeing his worried look, the doctor tried to be upbeat. "Con- gratulations!" he said. "You're now officially a presbyope!" Doug leaned over and asked seriously, "If that means I'm no longer a Roman Catholic, and I don't have to go to Confession any more?"
Click on the picture for the large version Icelandia Falls
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Mallory Renee Mims, 22, Orond Beach, Florida Lo-Jack foiled insurance fraud LoJack busts man who reported car stolen HESPERIA, Calif. (UPI) -- A California man was arrested for insurance fraud when the security system in a vehicle he reported stolen led police to where he allegedly hid the car. Ricardo Felix, 31, is accused of concealing the vehicle behind a family member's home, and then reporting it stolen to Huntington police and his insurance company, the Daily Press of Victorville, Calif., reported Monday. Victor Valley police said Saturday they received a LoJack notification of the location of the vehicle and tracked it to the home in Hesperia. Authorities detained four people in the home and notified Felix about the discovery of the vehicle. Investigators later learned Felix allegedly conspired with the family members to hide the vehicle, not knowing it was equipped with the LoJack system, Hesperia police spokeswoman Sue Rose told the Daily Press. Felix was being held on $25,000 bail for alleged insurance fraud and grand theft auto. Prosecutors office were considering filing charges against the alleged conspirators, the newspaper said.
Tech Support Pits: From: Tina Re: Solar lights Dear Webby This is not about computers or the Internet, but sorta electrical. You must have seen those little solar garden lights. Would they work as night lights inside a house? Thanks Tina Dear Tina Most of them are not really intended for lighting in a specific direction, but to just look pretty in all directions. If you take the milky diffuser off them, and make a small parabolic mirror with aluminum foil, it can light a patch of floor or stairs jst barely enough. Since they are cheap, $1 - $2, you can use a bunch of them shining at critical spots like steps or stairs. They don't need to be outside in direct sunlight, but indoors should be in a reasonably well lit area. The main advantage of them is that they will work fine during power outages. The disadvantage is that the amount of light they produce, is very low. They are cheap enough, that you can easily experiment and see if they produce enough light for you. Have FUN! DearWebby
AD #2
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Frank for this: No one is more cautious than a first-time parent. After our daughter was big enough to ride on the back of my bicycle, I bought a special carrier with a seat belt and got her a little helmet. The day of the first ride I put her in the seat, double- checked all the equipment, wheeled the bike to the end of the driveway, carefully looked both ways and, swinging my leg up over the back, kicked her right in the head, lost my balance, tipped over, with her ending up in the rose bush, and me in the algae slime covered lily pond. She didn't cry, but because of the hysterical screaming laughter from mom was quite confused about the whole thing, and it took her a few seconds before she cheered up and yelled: "Do it again, daddy!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Grow Morning Glory Around Dog Kennel I tossed Morning Glory seeds all around the dog kennel in hopes it would provide a nice shade cover for summer, and it sure did. It looked nice too. By freedombelle2001 from Bellevue, NE Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a general practice (GP) physician, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. A bird came winging overhead. The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated. "I'm not quite sure it's a duck," he said, "I think that I will have to get a second opinion." And of course by that time, the bird was long gone. Another bird appeared in the sky thereafter. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. "I'll have to do some more investigations," he muttered, as the creature made good its escape. Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey's identity. "Now, I know it's a duck, but does it know it's a duck?" The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma. Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed skywards. BOOM!! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him. "Go see if that was a duck, will you?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his employees to write him a punchy, 20-minute speech. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious. "What's the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?" he demanded to know. "Half the audience walked out before I finished." The employee was baffled. "I wrote you a 20-minute speech," he replied. "I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for."
» Machu Picchu





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Oh Boy! 

I exercise regularly.
I eat moderate amounts of healthy food.
I make sure to get plenty of rest.
I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year.
I floss every night.
I've had chest x-rays, cardio stress tests, EKG's and colonoscopies.
I've seen a psychologist once, and she thought I was A-OK.
I have a variety of hobbies to reduce stress.
I don't drink and drive.
I quit smoking a long time ago.
I don't do drugs.
I try not to disparage others.
I don't have crazy, reckless sex with strangers.


If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I'm gonna be really pissed.





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Help for worn off Laptop keyboard lettering 



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Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, April 18

Is there any reason for the number of votes plummeting
and donations becoming extinct?

I realize, most of you are too shy to hit REPLY and tell me, 
but hopefully some of you will clue me in!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1521 Parliament of Worms Cardinal Alexander questions Martin Luther 
1838 Wilkes' expedition to South Pole sails 
1853 1st train in Asia (Bombay to Tanna, 36 km) 
1861 Colonel Robert E Lee turns down offer to command Union armies 
1902 Denmark is 1st country to adopt fingerprinting to identify criminals
1923 Poland annexes Central Lithuania
1934 1st "Washateria" (laundromat) opens (Fort Worth TX) 
1946 US recognizes Tito's Yugoslavia government 
1949 Republic of Ireland withdraws from British Commonwealth
1950 1st transatlantic jet passenger trip 
1956 Egypt & Israel agree to a cease fire
1980 Zimbabwe (formerly Southern Rhodesia) declares independence from UK 
1982 Zimbabwe capital Salisbury renamed Harare 
1983 A lone suicide bomber kills 63, at the US Embassy in Lebanon 
1994 Lebanon drops relations with Iran 
2012  smiled


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs." --- Aldous Huxley There is something that is much more scarce, something rarer than ability. It is the ability to recognize ability. --- Robert Half
Thanks to Trish for this: Husband by text to wife at work ............ "Windows at home frozen - what should I do?" Wife - "spray some de-icer or pour hot water on them" Husband a few minutes later - "Did that - now computer won't work at all"!
Grow food with a minimum amount of work in a minimum amount of space with Food4Wealth. Absolutely everything you need to know to grow healthy, fresh organic food,
without all the problems. Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable. It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to understand.

This package includes a fully illustrated step by step manual PLUS AudioBook version and over 60 minutes of video. Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard, and stop worrying about harmful chemicals! Get Food4Wealth Now! 60 day money back guarantee!

A young boy of four was going into hospital to have his tonsils removed. He told his playmate I'll be gone for awhile I have to have surgery. On the day he was admitted his mother asked if the doctor would please circumcise the boy, since he's already going to be under anaesthesia. The boy woke up and was very sore "down there" there for several days. About a week later he got to see his playmate again. The playmate informed him that he, too, was also going to have to have his tonsils out. He asked the boy to tell him about the surgery. The little boy replied, "All I can tell you is your tonsils are not where you think they are."
Click on the picture for the large version "Scientists" waiting for Gullible Warming or Government handouts
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Mallory Renee Mims, 22, Orond Beach, Florida Leaving Child Locked Inside Car While Applying And Drinking At Local Bar Mallory Renee Mims, a 22-year-old Ormond Beach woman was jailed Friday after she allegedly left her 5-year-old child unattended in a car for over an hour while she applied for a job at a bar, then stuck around to drink a few shots. According to the Volusia County Sheriff's Office, Mims went to the Pirana Bar and Grill to fill out a job application. Investigators say Mims left her child in a locked car with the windows rolled up while she went inside. After applying for the job, she hung out at the bar for over an hour, consuming three shots of vodka. When a bar patron asked Mims about the child, Mims denied that the child was hers. When Mims tried to leave the bar, the bartender took away her keys. Police were called when Mims went behind the bar to retrieve her keys. When officers arrived on the scene, Mims smelled of alcohol and appeared to be intoxicated, according to the arrest affidavit. She was booked into the Volusia County Branch Jail and charged with child neglect and leaving a child unattended in a vehicle for more than 15 minutes, which is the limit in Florida. She was released after posting $1,500 bail. The child was placed in the care of a relative.
Tech Support Pits: From: Ric Re: Keyboard Labels Dear Webby In response to the key board lettering wearing out, my daughter had the same problem. The computer store (MicroCenter: Microcenter.com) had sets of stickers specifically for key boards. It was about $15. I did a search on the microenter web site for "keyboard labels" and found them. Keyboard Labels Ric Dear Ric Thanks for that info! Have FUN! DearWebby From Dani Hi Webby, I also wore off the letters on my keyboard. I took a plain white label and wrote the letters that were missing and attached them to the keys. Problem solved. Dani Thanks Dani! That would definitely be the cheapest solution! Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
As I left the supermarket, I noticed two little kids, maybe six or seven years old, selling candy bars in front of the store to raise money for their school band. "I'll buy a chocolate bar on one condition," I said to one of the boys. "That you eat it for me." As I handed him back the candy bar, he shook his head. "I can't," he said. "Why not?" Looking me in the eye, he responded gravely, "Because I'm not supposed to take candy from strangers."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Book Exchange Party One year, my daughter hosted a book exchange for some of her friends and neighbors. Kids brought their used books and took turns selecting new old books. We baked a cake shaped like a book and that was it. The kids played outside afterward. No expense but for the cake and everyone had some books to enjoy afterward. By Jackie from Medinah, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
What's an eight letter word that has only one letter in it? An envelope!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A voice on the office loudspeaker announced: "We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will work pro- perly in case of emergency. If you are unable to hear this announcement, please contact the receptionist."
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How to replace worn off Laptop keyboard Lettering 



Zoom the font size for best readability   

Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, April 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1421 Dikes at Dort Holland breaks, 100,000 drown
1492 Christopher Columbus signs contract with Spain to find the Indies
1521 Martin Luther is excommunicated from the Roman Catholic Church 
1524 Giovanni Verrazano, a florentine navigator, discovers New York Bay
1711 Charles VI Habsburg becomes king of Austria 
1808 Napoleon orders seizure of US ships 
1824 Russia abandons all North American claims south of 54º 40' N 
1861 Virginia become 8th state to secede 
1939 Stalin signs British-France-Russian anti-nazi pact 
1941 British troops land in Iraq and Yugoslavia; surrender to Nazi's 
1945 8th Air Force bombs Dresden for 3 days
1946 Syria declares independence from French administration
1961 1,400 Cuban exiles land in Bay of Pigs attempt to overthrow Castro
1964 Ford Mustang formally introduced ($2368 base) 
1967 Surveyor 3 launched; soft lands on Moon, April 20
1975 Khmer Rouge captures Phnom Penh, Cambodia
1982 Canada adopts its constitution 
1983 India entered space age launching SLV-3 rocket
1997 John Bell, 115, recieves new pacemaker 
2012  smiled


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Almost all absurdity of conduct arises from the imitation of those whom we cannot resemble. --- Samuel Johnson
Bob was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. "You did a great job." he said and handed the man a check. "Also, in order to thank you, here's an extra $80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie." Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. Thinking the man had forgotten something he asked, "What's the matter, did you forget something?" "Nope." replied the painter. "I'm just here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked."
Grow food with a minimum amount of work in a minimum amount of space with Food4Wealth. Absolutely everything you need to know to grow healthy, fresh organic food,
without all the problems. Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable. It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to understand.

This package includes a fully illustrated step by step manual PLUS AudioBook version and over 60 minutes of video. Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard, and stop worrying about harmful chemicals! Get Food4Wealth Now! 60 day money back guarantee!

Bob sets up his friend Mike to go on a blind date with his cousin. Mike is a little worried about going out with someone he's never seen before. "What do I do if she's ugly?" says Mike, "I'll be with her all night." "Don't worry," Bob says, "just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, then everything goes as planned. If you don't, just shout 'Aaaaaauuuggghhh!' and fake a heart attack." That night Mike knocks at the girl's door. When she comes out he is awe-struck at how hot and sexy she is. He's about to speak when the girl suddenly grabs for her chest and lets out a loud ... "Aaaaaauuuggghhh!"
Click on the picture for the large version Iceland Northern Fjallabak
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Lawrence Deptola, 49, of Cottage Place in Utica, NY Man attempted to rob three banks with a toilet plunger A Utica man faces felony charges. Police say he attempted to rob three different banks armed with a toilet plunger. Surveillance photos captured the suspect entering the Key Bank on Genesee Street Thursday afternoon. Around 1:30 Thursday afternoon, Utica Police responded to the Key Bank for a report of an attempted robbery. Officers also were contacted by two other banks that said the man had also entered there and demanded money. Bank employees say he came in started yelling obscenities, telling them to put money in a bag. Police say he threatened the tellers with the plunger. Officers in an unmarked car responded to the scene and saw the suspect walking away. When the suspect saw the officers, he ran. Police caught up with him and took him into custody. Lawrence Deptola, 49, of Cottage Place in Utica is charged with attempted robbery, a class "E" felony. The plunger was recovered inside Citizen's Bank.
Tech Support Pits: From: Robert Re: Laptop keyboard lettering Dear Webby The white lettering on my laptop keyboard is coming off. Is there a way to replace it???? Robert Dear Robert You can try Letraset and then seal it with a drop of marine spar varnish or clear nail polish. You can get letraset at art supply stores. They are getting away from clean industrial fonts and drifting to artsy-fartsy stuff, but one or tow of their fonts are usable. The alternative is to get a super-fine Nissen paint marker. They are actually made for industrial use in machine shops and welding shops for lay-out and identifying pieces, and the paint is extremely durable. You can order them online at Nissen Markers. Depending on the size you get, they are $4 - $6 each. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A professor asked a student to remain for a few moments after class. Holding out the young man's assignment, the professor said, "Did you write this poem all by yourself?" The student said, "Every word of it." The professor said, "Well, then, I'm glad to meet you, Mr. Poe. However, all these books here say you are dead. Since I can not correct all the books about you, .... Which way would you like to die ?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organizing Craft Patterns I love to sew, but one thing I don't like is trying to get the pattern pieces back into those little envelopes that have the pattern in it originally. I knew I had to do something. I went to an office supply store and bought some cheap file folders. I sew them along the sides then cut the pattern envelope to the size of the file folder and tape or glue it on the outside. It is so much easier to fold the pattern pieces to fit the file folder. I bought a file cabinet at an auction for $1.00 and I was set. No more frustration. By Carole from Klamath, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man spent several hours enduring long lines, surly clerks, and insane regulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles. On his way home, he stopped to pick up a gift for his son. He selected a baseball bat. "Cash or charge," the clerk asked. "Cash!" the man snapped, then apologizing for his rudeness, he explained, "I've just spent the entire afternoon at the Motor Vehicle office." "I understand," the clerk replied, and then asked, "Shall I gift wrap the bat, or ... are you going back there?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
In a small town, farmers of the community had gotten together to discuss some important issues. About midway through the meeting, a wife of one of the farmers stood up and spoke her piece. One of the old farmers stood up and said, "What does she know about anything? I would like to ask her if she knows how many toes a pig has?" Quick as a flash, the woman replied, "Take off your boots, Bobo, and if you can count that high, count them yourself!"
» Flamingo Lake, Kenya





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