Is Microsoft net Framework safe? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, November 6

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Illegal Immigrant protected by Oregon's Sanctuary
law from ICE Now Charged with  Brutal Murder

______________________________________________________
Today, November 6 in
1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) Every teenager should get a high school education. Even if they already know everything. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ Is it proper for a man to profit from the mistakes of another?" a Angus mcKenzie asked his minister. "Definitely not," was the preacher's answer. "Are you absolutely certain?" "Yes, my son, absolutely." "Okay. In that case, I wonder if you'd mind returning that $25 I gave you after my wedding last year?" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Q: Is it good manners to eat fried chicken with your fingers? A: No, you should eat your fingers separately. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked if it was dead or alive. "Dead," she was informed. "How do you know?", she asked. "Because I pissed in his ear and it didn't move," said the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?", the teacher squealed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and said 'pssst' and he didn't move." ______________________________________________________ Vicious polar bear attack _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Martin Gallo-Gallardo, 45, Oregon Illegal Immigrant protected by Oregon's Sanctuary law from ICE Now Charged with Brutal Murder Actually, the Bonehead award should go to Oregon. An illegal alien from Mexico accused of stabbing his wife to death on Sunday was released from an Oregon county jail seven months ago despite federal immigration authorities’ request to deport him, immigration officials said. A woman might be alive today if the Oregon authorities had not decided to allow a known illegal immigrant go free. Martin Gallo-Gallardo, 45, is facing murder charges in connection with the death of Coral Rodriguez-Lorenzo, 38, after authorities discovered her body in a ditch near a river east of Portland on October 28. In March, the Multnomah County Sheriff’s office released 45-year- old Martin Gallo-Gallardo after the prosecutor’s office dismissed assault charges against him. Fox 12 Oregon reported a grand jury could not “hold him accountable” without the cooperation of the victim, his wife. Fox News reported: “Officials from Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) said the federal agency placed a civil detainer hold on Gallo-Gallardo while he was in custody in Portland so it could begin deportation proceedings. The agency said the sheriff’s department didn’t honor the request because of the state’s sanctuary laws.” On October 29, Gallo-Gallardo was was arrested for questioning in the death of his wife Coral Rodriguiez-Lorenzo and it was at that time he confessed to murdering her. Clackamas County officials found her body the previous day, which had been repeatedly stabbed according to The Daily Caller. As with most major ideological conflicts finger pointing and the blame game ensues. Multnomah County Sheriff Mike Reese who supports Oregon’s sanctuary laws said his office never received a detainer request due a technology malfunction in fax transmission. “Gallo-Gallardo drove his wife to nearby Clackamas County after an argument and stabbed her multiple times. He pleaded not guilty to the crime Tuesday,” according to Fox News. Hopefully after Tuesday justice for all will mean cold blooded murders like this will be avoidable in Oregon’s future. From: Susan Re: Is MS NET Framework safe ? Dear Webby. Good Morning, I received an Update from microsoft this morning and I wanted your opinion whether it is one I need to download. Thanks much for your help. Susan Microsoft, NET Framework 10.2 MB Cannot be removed after installation. Dear Susan NET Framework is OK. Many programs use and need it. The only one to guard against is IE Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
What's the difference between a trampoline and an accordion? You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Q: This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? A: What was your question? ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Ecological Holiday Parties A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake" Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Most Interesting Science News Articles of the Week
___________________________________________________ "Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir." "The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her." "During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit." "The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's 'Hamlet' in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her boyfriend know it, too: "A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry." she told him. "Really?" asked the boyfriend, "And just how many men are you planning to marry?"

Today November 6 in
1789 Father John Carroll was appointed as the first Roman
Catholic bishop in the United States of America. 

1832 Joseph Smith, III, was born. He was the first president of
the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He
was also the son of Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism. 

1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected to be the sixteenth president of
the United States. 

1861 Jefferson Davis was elected as the president of the
Confederacy in the U.S. 

1869 The first official intercollegiate football game was played
in New Brunswick, NJ. 

1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap. 

1903 Philippe Bunau-Varilla, as Panama's ambassador to the United
States, signed the Hay-Bunau-Varilla Treaty. The document granted
rights to the United States to build and indefinitely administer
the Panama Canal Zone and its defenses. 

1913 Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested as he led a march of Indian
miners in South Africa. 

1917 During World War I, Candian forces take the village of
Passchendaele, Belgium, in the Third Battle of Ypres. 

1923 Jacob Schick was granted a patent for the electric shaver. 

1935 Edwin H. Armstrong announced his development of FM
broadcasting. 

1952 The first hydrogen bomb was exploded at Eniwetok Atoll in
the Pacific Ocean. 

1961 In the Saraha Desert of Algeria, a natural gas well ignited
when a pipe ruptured. The flames rose between 450 feet and 800
feet. The fire burned until April 28, 1962 when a team led by Red
Adair used explosives to deprive the fire of oxygen.

1962 The U.N. General Assembly adopts a resolution that condemned
South Africa's racist apartheid policies. The resolution also
called for all member states to terminate military and economic
relations with South Africa. 

1965 The Freedom Flights program began which would allow 250,000
Cubans to come to the United States by 1971. 

1967 Phil Donahue began a TV talk show in Dayton, OH. The show
was on the air for 29 years. 

1973 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft began photographing Jupiter. 

1975 King Hassan II of Morocco launches the Green March, a mass
migration of 300,000 unarmed Moroccans, that march into the
nation of Western Sahara. 

1977 39 people were killed when an earthen dam burst, sending a
wall of water through the campus of Toccoa Falls Bible College in
Georgia. 

1983 U.S. Army choppers dropped hundreds of leaflets over
northern and central Grenada. The leaflets urged residents to
cooperate in locating any Grenadian army or Cuban resisters to
the U.S-led invasion. 

1984 For the first time in 193 years, the New York Stock Exchange
remained open during a presidential election day.

1985 Leftist guerrillas belonging to Columbia's April 19 Movement
seized control of the Palace of Justice in Bogota. 

1986 Former Navy radioman John A. Walker Jr., was sentenced in
Baltimore to life imprisonment. Walker had admitted to being the
head of a family spy ring. 

1986 U.S. intelligence sources confirmed a story run by the
Lebanese magazine Ash Shiraa that reported the U.S. had been
secretly selling arms to Iran in an effort to secure the release
of seven American hostages. 

1989 In the hopes of freeing U.S. hostages held in Iran, the U.S.
announced that it would unfreeze $567 million in Iranian assets
that had been held since 1979. 

1990 About 20% of the Universal Studios backlot in southern
California was destroyed in an arson fire. 

1991 Kuwait celebrated the dousing of the last of the oil fires
ignited by Iraq during the Persian Gulf War. 

1995 Art Modell, the owner of the Cleveland Browns, announced
plans to move his team to Baltimore. (Maryland) 

1995 Mark Messier scored his 500th NHL goal. 

1998 The Islamic militant group Hamas exploded a car bomb killing
the two attackers and injuring 21 civilians. 

1999 Australian voters rejected a referendum to drop Britain's
queen as their head of state. 

2001 In London, the "Lest We Forget" exhibit opened at the
National Memorial Arboretum. Fred Seiker was the creator of the
24 watercolors. Seiker was a prisoner of war that had been forced
to build the Burma Railroad, the "railway of death," for the
Japanese during World War II. 

2001 In Madrid, Spain, a car bomb injured about 60 people. The
bomb was blamed on Basque separatists. 

2001 Ten people were executed in Beijing, China. The state
newspaper of China said that all of the people executed were
robbers and killers aged 20-23. 

2018  smiled.


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What is SSH? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, November 5

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Suspect arrested after striking 10 vehicles,
climbing onto roof of "Five Guys" to hide

______________________________________________________
Today, November 5 in
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when he
was captured before he could blow up the English Parliament. Guy
Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th in Britain to
celebrate his failure to blow up all the members of Parliament
and King James I. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends. --- Herbert Hoover (1874 - 1964) ______________________________________________________ A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what's up with you?", he asks. "Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me." "Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde, redhead or brunette?" "Neither, He grandfather is bald." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Bumper Stickers from 20 years ago: If that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive better! Don't be sexist, broads hate that. Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it! Constipated people don't give a crap. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? My kid got your honor roll student pregnant. If you can read this... I lost my trailer. Your just jealous cause the voices are only talking to me. I have the body of a God.... Buddha. So many pedestrians...so little time. Eat right, exercise, die anyway! Illiterate...Write for help. Cover me... I'm changing lanes. Boldly going nowhere. Body by Nautilus, brain by Mattel. Honk if anything falls off. If we quit voting, will they all go away ? Heart attacks: God's revenge for dieting. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A famed English explorer was invited to Dartmouth to tell of his adventures in the African jungle. "Can you imagine," he demanded, "people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from the belly of certain animals? And grind up grass seed, make it into a paste, burn it over a fire, then smear it with a greasy mess they extract from the mammary fluid of certain other animals?" When the students looked startled by such barbarism, the explorer added softly, "What I've been describing, of course, is a breakfast of bacon and eggs and buttered toast." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by James Edward Baumann, 37 Stafford, Virginia Suspect arrested after striking 10 vehicles, climbing onto roof of "Five Guys" to hide A man wanted in three jurisdictions was arrested Monday at Stafford Marketplace after striking ten vehicles before climbing onto the roof of a Five Guys restaurant and hiding in an air conditioning unit. On Monday shortly before 10 a.m., deputies responded to reports of multiple vehicle accidents near the Bank of America at Stafford Marketplace. Deputies determined that the driver of a Ford pick-up truck hauling a trailer holding another pickup truck crashed into the vehicles, four of which were occupied when struck. Both of the pick-up trucks later found to be stolen. Four subjects were transported to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries. After striking the vehicles, the subject, who was intoxicated, scaled a metal pipe alongside a building and climbed onto the roof of a Five Guys restaurant where he was found hiding in an air conditioning unit. The suspect, James Edward Baumann, 37, was wanted in three jurisdictions—Stafford County, Prince William County, and Spotsylvania County. Baumann was incarcerated at Rappahannock Regional Jail without bond on his outstanding warrants. The investigation is ongoing and additional charges are pending. From: Alex Re: SSH Dear Webby. What exactly is SSH? A program I am trying to buy, requires that I have SSH access. However, my web host tells me that I don't need it and would not know how to use it, even if I had it. So, what is it and what does it do? Alex Dear Alex SSH is secure access to the server command line, just like Telnet used to be until about 25 years ago. The main difference is that SSH is securely encrypted and can't be intercepted. It is not difficult to use, and programs, that require it, are very specific and detailed about what you need to do. Usually they even give you the exact command to type or paste to the command line. Then you type that in and hit Enter. No big deal at all. Web hosting is often like an MLM pyramid. The farther down you are, the fewer rights and privileges you have. When you don't get SSH, but instead get a snotty reply implying that you would not know how to use it, then you know you have hit rock bottom, and it's time to move up a few levels. The bare command line can be a bit intimidating to some people, but at our level, for example, we explain what each command does, and step you through it while connected to you via Skype chat. Sure, it takes a bit more time, but you learn, and next time you know how to do it yourself. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
>From Jean It’s the men’s turn to make wisecracks! After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it! Received an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing; that'll keep her busy! The wife's been hinting she wants something black and lacy for her birthday. So I bought her a pair of football boots! Growing up with a dyslexic father had its advantages. Whenever he caught me swearing, he used to wash my mouth out with soup! My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm! Anyone have an owner's manual for a wife? Mine's giving off a terrible whining noise! My wife apologized for the first time ever today. She said she's sorry she ever married me! Does anyone know how long you cook these "boil in the bag fish" that you win at the fun fair? My wife said I needed to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car, burnt the dinner, and ignored her all day for no reason! Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent. It's called wedding cake! Things turned really ugly at my house last night. The wife removed her makeup! My wife shouted at me this morning for not opening the car door for her. I would have, but I was too busy swimming to the surface!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Bubba was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. "Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?" He was acquitted. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Ecological Holiday Parties If you purchase some inexpensive, reusable plastic plates, cups, and use your own utensils, you will have a much more ecological party that relying on disposable plates and cups. You also will be able to use them year after year, which will save you money. You can also go to a garage sale and buy proper plates and cups and glasses for less than the plastic ware costs. They don't take much more room to store till next year. DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Weather Channel’s New Green Screen Tech is Impressive
___________________________________________________ Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time." I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson. The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Sandie for this story: We went to the movies the other night. I sat in an aisle seat, as I usually do, because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start, a Millenial from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. "Excuse me. Sorry! Oops. Excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry. Oops! Excuse me." By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier?" "No!" she said in a loud whisper. "The 'Turn Off Your Cell Phone, Please' message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car."

Today November 5 in
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when he
was captured before he could blow up the English Parliament. Guy
Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th in Britain to
celebrate his failure to blow up all the members of Parliament
and King James I. 

1844 In California, a grizzly bear underwent a successful
cataract operation at the Zoological Garden. 

1872 In the U.S., Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting
to vote in the presidential election. She never paid the fine. 

1895 George B. Selden received the first U.S. patent for an
automobile. He sold the rights for $200,000 four years later. 

1911 Italy officially annexed Tripoli. 

1935 The game "Monopoly" was introduced by Parker Brothers
Company. 

1940 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt won an unprecedented third
term in office. 

1944 Lord Moyne, a British official, was assassinated by the
Zionist Stern gang in Cairo, Egypt. 

1946 John F. Kennedy was elected to the U.S. House of
Representatives at the age of 29. 

1955 The Vienna State Opera House in Austria formally reopened
ten years after WWII. 

1956 British and French forces began landing in Egypt during the
Suez Canal Crisis. A cease-fire was declared 2 days later. 

1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement at
L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland. 

1967 In Moscow, the Ostankino Tower opened. It was the world's
tallest free-standing structure for nine years. 

1974 Ella T. Grasso was elected governor of Connecticut. She was
the first woman in the U.S. to win a governorship without
succeeding her husband. 

1984 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the NFL had exceeded
antitrust limits in attempting to stop the Oakland Raiders from
moving to Los Angeles. 

1986 The White House reaffirmed the U.S. ban on the sale of
weapons to Iran. 

1987 In South Africa, Goban Mbeki was released after serving 24
years in the Robben Island prison. He had been sentenced to life
for treason against the white minority government of South
Africa. 

1998 Scientists published a genetic study that showed strong
evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child (Eston
Hemings) of his slave, Sally Hemings. 

1990 Rabbi Meir Kahane, founder of the Kach movement, was shot to
death after a speech at a New York Hotel. His assassin, Egyptian
El Sayyid, was later convicted of the murder and was sentenced to
life in prison for his part in the World Trade Center bombing. 

1992 Malice Green, a black motorist, was beaten to death in
Detroit during a struggle with police. Two officers were later
convicted in his death and sentenced to prison. 

1994 Former U.S. President Reagan announced that he had
Alzheimer's disease. 

1994 George Foreman, 45, became boxing's oldest heavyweight
champion when he knocked out Michael Moorer in the 10th round of
their WBA fight in Las Vegas, NV. 

1998 In the U.S., Chairman Henry Hyde of the Judiciary Committee
asked President Clinton to answer 81 questions for the House
impeachment inquiry. 

1998 The U.N. announced that the Taliban militia had killed up to
5,000 civilians in a takeover of an Afghani town. 

1999 A 12-day conference on global warming, attended by delegates
from 170 nations, ended in Bonn, Germany. 

1999 Dennis Rodman (NBA) and Carmen Electra were both arrested
and charged with battery and domestic violence in a hotel in
Miami Beach, FL. 

1999 U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled that
Microsoft Corp. enjoyed "monopoly power". 

2001 It was announced that European aircraft manufacturer Airbus
and Dubai-based Emirates airlines set up a joint venture
specializing in airline services. 

2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13
people and wounded 30 others. He is still sitting in jail while
lawyers fight against his ordered execution.

2018  smiled.


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Keyboard/Mouse/Video/Sound switch 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, November 4
Time to change the clocks to Winter time,
except in a few distinct areas.
Turn the clocks BACK, so that you get an 
hour of extra sleep in the morning,

>From Dani
Dear Webby, 
Thank you so much for your advise on Mail Washer. 
I purchased it yesterday and it is a working wonder, 
just like you. 
So easy. Wish I had gotten it a long time ago. 
Thanks again for all you do. 
Dani 


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


4 charged after toddler found outside 
with a bottle of beer

______________________________________________________
Today, November 4 in
1847 Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered 
the anethestic qualities of chloroform. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything. --- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931) People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed. --- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. --- William James ______________________________________________________ >From Jim The wedding ceremony came to the point where the minister asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom.  The moment of utter silence was broken when a beautiful young woman carrying a child stood up. She starts walking slowly towards the minister.  The congregation was aghast - you could almost hear a pin drop. The groom's jaw dropped as he stared in disbelief at the approaching young woman and child. Chaos ensued. The bride threw the bouquet into the air and burst out crying. Then the groom's mother fainted. The best men started giving each other looks and wondering how to save the situation. The minister asked the woman, "Can you tell us, why you came forward? What do you have to say?" There was absolute silence in the church. The woman replied, "Grampa, we can't hear you in the back!" And that illustrates what happens when people are considered guilty until proven innocent. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Judge admonished the witness, "Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?" "I do." "Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?" "Sure," said the witness. "My side will win." "OK, then, if your side wins, then you are guilty of perjury and will get ten years." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ My girlfriend asked me if I'll love her in the morning. I told her it depends on what happens tonight. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ashlee Harcum, 29 Theresa Rockinberg, 52 Rebecca Rockinberg, 27 Akeiba Johnson, 24 Steeltron, Pennsylvania 4 charged after toddler found outside with a bottle of beer Four women in Steelton are facing charges after an officer on patrol saw two toddlers running across a street. One of the toddlers, according to police, had a beer. The officer was on patrol on Oct. 7 in the area of South 4th Street when he saw two children under the age of 2 running across the street. Both children didn't have shoes on, and one was carrying a full, opened bottle of beer, police said. As a result of the investigation, the following women were charged with endangering the welfare of children: From: Irene Re: Keyboard/Mouse/Monitor/Speakers switch Dear Webby. You once mentioned a switch that allows one to use one keyboard for two machines and monitors. What are they called and how do they work? Irene Dear Irene They are called KVM switches. You plug your keyboard and your mouse and your microphone and speakers or head set in on one side, and the two monitors and cables to both computers for USB, microphone and speakers on the other side of the switch. It is a good idea to untangle your cable salad beforehand and label each cable. If you do that, it's easy and works on the first try. When you start up after you connect, your mouse and keyboard control computer #1, the speakers play the sound from #1, and the monitor shows what's going on on computer #1. You hit NumLock or ScrollLock twice, and everything switches to machine #2. You can, of course, use two monitors. That way you see both the actively controlled and the other machine. The other machine does not pause, everything keeps running, you just don't actively control it with mouse and keyboard, - until you double- hit NumLock and switch the active control over to that machine. If you run two machines at the same time, a KVM switch is definitely the way to go. That way you use only ONE keyboard and ONE mouse. Instead of digging for Mouse#2 and knocking your coffee over, you just hit Numlock twice and you are instantly controlling the other machine. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Bob's wife uses curlers in her hair after she washes it. She came into the Family Room as he was watching TV. He stared at her funny because she said, "I just set my hair." The last thing he remembers saying was, "Oh, really? And what time does it go off?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
REPORTED TO BE REAL-LIFE ADS ~ 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess. ~ Lost small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. ~ A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. ~ Dinner Special: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. ~ For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. ~ Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. ~ We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. ~ For Sale: Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy. ~ Great Dames for sale. ~ Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. ~ Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. ~ Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. ~ If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin. ~ MT. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in. ~ Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours. ~ Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Label the Labels If you have more than one child, it can become difficult to remember which article of clothing goes with which child. One easy solution is to mark the initials of owners on the clothing tag with permanent ink. Use a different color for each child. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
How an 1830s Meme Became the Most Widely Spoken Word in the World
___________________________________________________ By the time Ted arrived at the football game, the first quarter was almost over. "Why are you so late?" his friend asked. "I had to toss a coin to decide between going to church and coming to the game." "How long could that have taken you?" "Well, I had to toss it 814 times." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
was eating breakfast one morning and started thinking about things. "Mommy, why does daddy have so few hairs on his head?" he asked his mother. "He thinks a lot," replied mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. thought for a second and asked, "So why do you have so much hair?"

Today November 4 in
1846 A patent for an artificial leg was granted to Benjamin
Palmer. 

1847 Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered the
anethestic qualities of chloroform. 

1880 James and John Ritty patented the first cash register. 

1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter discovered the entry of the lost
tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamen. 

1924 Nellie T. Ross of Wyoming was elected America's first woman
governor so she could serve out the remaining term of her late
husband, William B. Ross. 

1939 During World War II, the U.S. modified its neutrality stance
with the Neutrality Act of 1939. The new policy allowed cash-and-
carry purchases of arms by belligerents. 

1939 At the 40th National Automobile Show the first air-
conditioned car was put on display. 

1942 During World War II, Axis forces retreated from El Alamein
in North Africa. It was a major victory for the British. 

1952 In the United States, the National Security Agency (NSA) was
established. 

1956 Soviet forces enter Hungary in order to suppress the
uprising that had begun on October 23, 1956. 

1965 Lee Ann Roberts Breedlove became the first woman to exceed
300 mph when she went 308.5 mph. 

1970 Former King Peter II of Yugoslavia died in Denver, CO. He
was the first European king or queen to die and to be buried in
the U.S. 

1979 Iranian militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran and took
63 Americans hostage (90 total hostages). The militants, mostly
students, demanded that the U.S. send the former shah back to
Iran to stand trial. Many hostages were later released, but 52
were held for the next 14 months. 

1981 The second scheduled flight of the space shuttle Columbia
was canceled with only 31 seconds left in the countdown. 

1984 Nicaragua held its first free elections in 56 years. 

1985 Soviet defector Vitaly Yurchenko announced he was returning
to the Soviet Union. He had charged that he had been kidnapped by
the CIA. 

1989 About a million East Germans filled the streets of East
Berlin in a pro-democracy rally. 

1990 Iraq issued a statement saying it was prepared to fight a
"dangerous war" rather than give up Kuwait. 

1991 Ronald Reagan opened his presidential library in Simi
Valley, CA. The dedication ceremony was attended by President
Bush and former U.S. presidents Jimmy Carter, Gerald R. Ford and
Richard M. Nixon. It was the 1st gathering of 5 U.S. chief
executives. 

1995 Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, 73 years old, was
assassinated by right-wing Israeli Yigal Amir after attending a
peace rally. 

1999 The United Nations imposed economic sanctions against the
Taliban that controlled most of Afghanistan. The sanctions were
imposed because the Taliban had refused to turn over Osama bin
Laden, who had been charged with masterminding the 1998 bombings
of the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania. 

2001 The movie "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" had its
world premiere in London. 

2001 Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba destroying crops and thousands of
homes. The United States made the gesture of sending humanitarian
aid. On December 16, 2001, Cuba received the first commercial
food shipment from the U.S. in nearly 40 years. 

2010 Microsoft's Kinect was launched worldwide. 

2018  smiled.


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Problem with "Ease US" 




Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, November 3

Chelsea Handler, considered by Commies to be a comedian, 
posted, “If you’re on a dating app, please ask someone on a date
November 6th and then just take them to vote. That’s the most
romantic thing you can do right now.”

I sure am glad I am not a Commie or Dim. 
I can think of an awful lot of activities, that are more
romantic!

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Man facing trial on charges of attacking 
fiancee with chainsaw, dragging her through fire

______________________________________________________
Today, November 3 in
1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the
second manmade satellite to be put into orbit and was the first
to put an animal into space, a dog named Laika. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another.... --- Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000), ______________________________________________________ "So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong: First he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. "All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, I ended up catching twelve fish and he caught none!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A minister, having served the same church for many years, decided to leave and take a similar position in another church. Without telling anyone he had made this decision or writing a letter to the congregation, he waited until Sunday morning to announce his resignation in church. When he spoke to the congregation he said, "The same Jesus that called me to this church many years ago has now called upon me to leave and serve another church." The choir all stood and sang, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ An elderly man in Florida calls his son in New York. The father says to the son, "I hate to tell you, but we've got some troubles here in the house. Your mother and I can't stand each other anymore, and we're getting a divorce. I've had it! I want to live out the rest of my years in peace. I'm telling you now, so you and your sister shouldn't go into shock later when I move out." He hangs up, and the son immediately calls his sister in the Hamptons and tells her the news. The sister says, "I'll handle this!" She calls Florida and says to her father, "Don't do ANYTHING until we get there! We'll be there Wednesday night." The father agrees. He hangs up the phone and hollers to his wife, "Okay, they're coming for Thanksgiving, and they are paying for their own tickets. Now, what are we going to tell them for Christmas?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ <1--Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Robert Presley Jr., 46, Detroit, Michigan Man facing trial on charges of attacking fiancee with chainsaw, dragging her through fire A Detroit-area man is facing trial on charges that he attacked his fiancee with a chainsaw and dragged her through a campfire at his cabin in Clare County this summer. Robert Presley Jr., 46, is accused of attacking the 38-year-old woman from Madison Heights on his property June 6 in Clare County’s village of Temple. On Friday, a judge ruled there was enough evidence for Presley Jr.’s case to move to trial on all 14 felony charges filed against him. He faces up to life in prison if convicted of the most serious charges. Authorities say on June 6 a domestic fight broke out between Presley and the woman. He allegedly cut her with a chainsaw, dragged her through a campfire and struck her with his hands or feet before she was able to escape. The woman walked to the roadway, where a passing motorist picked her up and brought her to an ambulance station nearby. She was transported to Munson Healthcare Cadillac Hospital, where she was being treated for serious injuries. After the woman escaped, Presley allegedly drove himself to the Clare County Sheriff’s Office to file a report about her assaulting him. Police say he was intoxicated when he showed up and had nine guns in plain sight in his vehicle. Presley was arrested on charges including assault with intent to murder, torture, possession of ammunition as a convicted felon, drunken driving second offense and habitual offender third offense enhancement. He also faces nine counts of carrying a firearm as a convicted felon. From: Bill Re: Ease US Dear Webby. On trying to run my backup program, "Ease US version11.5", I get a message that there are errors on partition C:\. I have spent hours researching this problem. I have run CHKDSK and other suggestions. I did not download any "fixer" programs. Otherwise, my new 1Tb SDD with Windows 10 seems to be working well. Do you have any suggestions or recommend a program that will get rid of the errors on partition C? Thanks. Bill Hi Bill I have never heard of Ease US. If chkdsk says the disk is OK, I would trust that. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what's my problem?" Doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Things are not always the way they may appear. For example, a woman's dog got out of the yard and later returned with a rabbit in its mouth. She realized it was the neighbors' pet rabbit, and knew she would never be able to tell them what happened. Since they were out of town, she hit upon a plan. She took the rabbit into the bathroom, washed it off, and blew its fur dry. Then she took the rabbit to the neighbors' backyard and put the rabbit back in its cage. She thought the neighbors would discover the rabbit dead and think it died in the cage, and would never suspect what really had happened. On Monday, there was a knock at the door, and when she answered, her neighbor was standing there. He asked her if she had seen anyone in their backyard over the weekend. She said no. He said, "Did you see anything strange going on around our house or yard?" Again, she denied seeing anything suspicious. She said, "Why are you asking me these questions? What happened?" He said, "Well, something really strange is going on in my backyard. On Friday our rabbit died, so we buried it in the backyard. But when we came back from the weekend, it was back in the cage!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Decorations Your Children Can Make Here are some decorations your kids can make. Paint macaroni and string it together to wrap around your tree. Have them cut out snowflakes from white paper to decorate your walls. Or have kids string together popcorn and cranberries. Balls made from crumpled aluminum foil and splattered with water colors also look quite classy. For splattering, use a toothbrush, not a paintbrush, and rub it over the backside of a sieve. With a little bit of practice, it puts a fine and even spray onto whatever is about a foot below the sieve. Candy- apple red and electric blue dots look great. Best done in the shower or sink. DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Shirk Report
___________________________________________________ >From Ella My daughter's fifth grade class had been studying astronomy. One morning over breakfast she announced, "On Friday we're having a quiz on the moon." At once her little brother's eyes got big and he asked, "Are you gonna let her go, Mom?" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Ed I have a reputation at work for being a strict boss. One day I was in the break room with another manager. I reached into the refrigerator for my lunch, which was packed in an Ace Hardware paper bag. My co-worker stopped mid-bite and stared at me, looking a little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the bag, he sighed in relief. "What's the matter?" I asked him. "Uh, nothing," he replied, "I was beginning to think you really do eat nails for lunch."

Today November 3 in
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa
Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa. 

1631 The Reverend John Eliot arrived in the Massachusetts Bay
Colony. He was the first Protestant minister to dedicate himself
to the conversion of Native Americans to Christianity. 

1793 Stephen F. Austin was born. He was the principal founder of
Texas. 

1839 The first Opium War between China and Britain erupted. 

1892 The first automatic telephone went into service at LaPorte,
IN. The device was invented by Almon Strowger. 

1900 The first automobile show in the United States opened at New
York's Madison Square Garden. 

1903 Panama proclaimed its independence from Colombia. 

1911 Chevrolet Motor Car Company was founded by Louis Chevrolet
and William C. Durant. 

1934 The first race track in California opened under a new pari-
mutuel betting law. 

1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the Japanese
may be planning a sudden attack on the U.S. 

1952 Frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time in a
supermarket in Chester, NY. 

1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the
second manmade satellite to be put into orbit and was the first
to put an animal into space, a dog named Laika. 

1973 The U.S. launched the Mariner 10 spacecraft. On March 29,
1974 it became the first spacecraft to reach the planet Mercury. 

1979 Five members of the Communist Workers' Party are shot to
death in broad daylight at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally in
Greensboro, NC. Eight others were wounded. 

1986 The Ash-Shiraa, pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, first broke
the story of U.S. arms sales to Iran to secure the release of
seven American hostages. The story turned into the Iran-Contra
affair. 

1987 China told the U.S. that it would halt the sale of arms to
Iran. 

1991 Israeli and Palestinian representatives held their first-
ever face-to-face talks in Madrid, Spain. 

1994 Susan Smith of Union, SC, was arrested for drowning her two
sons. Nine days earlier Smith had claimed that the children had
been abducted by a black carjacker. 

1995 U.S. President Clinton dedicated a memorial at Arlington
National Cemetery to the 270 victims of the bombing of Pan Am
Flight 103. 

1998 Bob Kane, the creator of Batman, died at the age of 83. 

1998 A state-run newspaper in Iraq urged the country to prepare
for to battle "the U.S. monster." 

1998 Minnesota elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former pro
wrestler, as its governor. 

2002 At Kai Tak Airport in Hong Kong, 777 people assembled a
58,435 square foot jigsaw puzzle with 21,600 pieces. 

2003 In Kabul, Afghanistan, a post-Taliban draft constitution was
unveiled. 

2005 Walt Disney Pictures released "Chicken Little." It was the
first Disney film completely created with computer animation. 

2014 In New York City, One World Trade Center opened for
business. 

2018  smiled.


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How complicated is mailWasher? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, November 2
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.


We need to show more sympathy for these people.

* They travel miles in the heat.
* They risk their lives crossing a border.
* They don't get paid enough wages.
* They do jobs that others won't do or are afraid to do.
* They live in crowded conditions among a people who speak a
different language.
* They rarely see their families, and they face adversity all
day every day.

I'm not talking about illegal invaders.
I'm talking about our troops!

Doesn't it seem strange that many are willing to lavish all
kinds of social benefits on illegals, but don't support our
troops and are now threatening to defund them?


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Indiana woman arrested for writing racist 
note to family: 'This is a white neighborhood'

______________________________________________________
Today, November 2 in
1895 In Chicago, IL, the first gasoline powered car 
contest took place in America. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. --- Scott Adams (1957 - ) "If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner." --- Tallulah Bankhead The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive. --- John Sladek ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Because he's a longtime Harley rider, my grandfather looks at everything from a biker's perspective. I once gave him a haircut and got carried away. He looked at the pile of gray hair on the floor, smiled and said, "You cut off all the chrome." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access the popular "Google" site, and we told her it could answer any question she had. Nancy's mother was very skeptical, but finally typed in a question: "Where did I leave my keys?" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister left me alone in a restaurant with my 12-month-old nephew. I said, "What do I do if he cries?" She said, "Give him some vegetables." It turns out that jalapenos are not his favorite, and that he can fling an open bowl of salsa almost 20 feet. ______________________________________________________ Soon! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Deborah Cantwell, 63, Kokomo, Indiana Indiana woman arrested for writing racist note to family: 'This is a white neighborhood' An Indiana woman is accused of writing a racist note that targeted a mixed-race teen with a racial slur, and also warned his family, "THIS IS A WHITE NEIGHBORHOOD," authorities said. Deborah Cantwell, 63, who is white, was arrested and charged with intimidation and criminal mischief, according to the Howard County Sheriff's Office. She was released last week on $8,000 bail. It was not clear when her next court appearance is scheduled. A protection order filed Friday by authorities prohibits her from contacting the family, according to the Kokomo Tribune. The note was left on the door of a recently purchased home in Cantwell's Greentown neighborhood and contained several uses of the N-word, authorities said. YOUR N***** KID IS NOT WELCOME, one paragraph begins, according to a copy of the letter posted on a GoFundMe page established by Amy Pundt, the mother of the 15-year-old referred to in the letter. Pundt said her family was devastated by the letter, which her husband found tucked in the front door of their new home. Their yard had also been toilet-papered, she wrote. "This destroyed his innocence. This destroyed a childhood. This even effected my other 4 kids! This is not an all-white town, nor is this an all-white neighborhood. This one person does not represent this neighborhood or this town," Pundt wrote on her fundraising page, which seeks $7,000 to purchase a home security system and to hire a lawyer, she said. Pundt's husband told authorities he suspected Cantwell had written the unsigned letter because the home's seller told him she was opposed to the family moving in because of their mixed- race son, the paper reported. Investigators obtained text messages sent by Cantwell stating, I am stressing now that we are going to get black neighbors, she texted, according to court records, the paper reported. I am hoping that more people look at the house and an all-white family are the ultimate buyers. I am afraid the stress of black neighbors could put me in the hospital. My blood pressure is elevated just thinking about the possibility. In an Oct. 18 interview with law enforcement investigators, Cantwell acknowledged writing the letter in anger and to toilet- papering the new homeowners' yard. I mean, the blacks get away with it every time, Cantwell told an investigator, according to the affidavit, the paper said. I was just trying to let them know that they weren't really welcome as far as us. I just needed to let off some steam and it was the I'm not a violent person so I didn't think it was any big deal, she told the investigator. The teen's mother, on her fundraising post, said she does not know what to tell her son, who is an honors student, choir member and soccer player, she said. How do I tell my child that this was done? What words do I say to let him know it is not OK and this doesn't represent this town, where everyone that meets him likes him? she wrote. From: Dani Re: How complicated is MailWasher? Dear Webby. Once again I need your expert advise. How complicated is Mailwasher? I have wanted to purchase it for some times, but not sure I would know how to set it to get the 100 or more per day spam e- mails that I receive. Thank you for any information you can give me. Blessings, Dani Dear Dani Dear Dani Mailwasher is as easy as your bed, and just as customizable. You can run it as is. By default it will take care of most spam. If any spam still shows up, then you start making filters. Filters are easy, mostly just PULL-DOWN choices. For example: IF SENDER ADDRESS CONTAINS ex-mother-in-law's-address@hotmail.com then DELETE AUTOMATICALLY. That's it for that example. There are all kinds of options like coloring different filters different colors, but all that is optional. Filters have all kinds of options, like BUT NOT For example IF SENDER ADDRESS CONTAINS ex-mother-in-law's-address@hotmail.com BUT NOT IF BODY CONTAINS Christmas then DELETE AUTOMATICALLY. That deletes all mail from her, unless she mentions Christmas in the body of the mail. That is just an example. The idea is to get sneakier than the spammers, and those, who are a nuisance. You can tell each filter what to do with the result. That can be to add it to the Friends list, to the blacklist, to mark it for deletion, to never delete, to automatically delete, and so on. They are all available options. The only typing or pasting involved is the address or key word, that you want it to use. You don't have to play with the filters right away, just when you see some spam, that it does not automatically recognize. Filters can be for bad stuff and also for good stuff. For example, you can make a filter that IF the SENDER ADDRESS CONTAINS humor@webby.com THEN NEVER DELETE the email. (even if Dear Webby bitches about evil spammers or Mad Maxine) It becomes a brain game, you against the spammers. With MailWasher YOU got all the weapons. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
I was taking a shower when my 2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots.They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera! - Name Withheld
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear,"PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Gas Tip: Avoid Idling If you are stuck in traffic and you don't think you are going to go anywhere in the next five minutes, turn your car off. Also, you no longer need to warm your car up for long periods of time, especially new cars. New cars are made to run when cold. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Her cakes and pastries are too pretty to eat!
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Faye for this story: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Arvid for this report: I decided to stop worrying about my wife's driving and take advantage of it. I got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 number on it. At 50 cents a call, I've been making $38 a week.

Today November 2 in
1721 Peter the Great (Peter I), ruler of Russia, changed his
title to emperor. 

1776 During the American Revolutionary War, William Demont,
became the first traitor of the American Revolution when he
deserted. 

1783 U.S. Gen. George Washington gave his "Farewell Address to
the Army" near Princeton, NJ. 

1867 "Harpers Bazaar" magazine was founded. 

1883 Thomas Edison executed a patent application for an
electrical indicator using the Edison effect lamp (U.S. Pat.
307,031). 

1895 In Chicago, IL, the first gasoline powered car contest took
place in America. 

1917 British Foreign Secretary Arthur Balfour expressed support
for a "national home" for the Jews of Palestine. 

1920 The first commercial radio station in the U.S., KDKA of
Pittsburgh, PA, began regular broadcasting. 

1921 Margaret Sanger's National Birth Control League combined
with Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form the
American Birth Control League. 

1930 Haile Selassie was crowned emperor of Ethiopia. 

1930 The DuPont Company announced the first synthetic rubber. It
was named DuPrene. 

1947 Howard Hughes flew his "Spruce Goose," a huge wooden
airplane, for eight minutes in California. It was the plane's
first and only flight. The "Spruce Goose," nicknamed because of
the white-gray color of the spruce used to build it, never went
into production. 

1948 Harry S. Truman defeated Thomas E. Dewey for the U.S.
presidency. The Chicago Tribune published an early edition that
had the headline "DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN." The Truman victory
surprised many polls and newspapers.

1959 Charles Van Doren, a game show contestant on the NBC-TV
program "Twenty-One" admitted that he had been given questions
and answers in advance. 

1960 In London, the novel "Lady Chatterly's Lover," was found not
guilty of obscenity. 

1962 U.S. President Kennedy announced that the U.S.S.R. was
dismantling the missile sites in Cuba. 

1963 South Vietnamese President Ngo Dihn Diem was assassinated in
a military coup. 

1966 The Cuban Adjustment Act allows 123,000 Cubans to apply for
permanent residence in the U.S. 

1979 Joanna Chesimard, a black militant escaped from a New Jersey
prison, where she'd been serving a life sentence for the 1973
murder of a New Jersey state trooper. 

1983 U.S. President Ronald Reagan signed a bill establishing a
federal holiday on the third Monday of January in honor of civil
rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 

1984 Velma Barfield became the first woman to be executed in the
U.S. since 1962. She had been convicted of the poisoning death of
her boyfriend. 

1985 The South African government imposed severe restrictions on
television, radio and newspaper coverage of unrest by both local
and foreign journalists. 

1986 The 12-by-16-inch celluloid of a poison apple from Walt
Disney's "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"" was purchased for
$30,800. 

1986 American hostage David Jacobson was released after being
held in Lebanon for 17 months by Shiite Muslims kidnappers. 

1989 Carmen Fasanella retired after 68 years and 243 days of
taxicab service in Princeton, NJ. 

1992 Magic Johnson retired from the NBA again, this time for good
because of fear due to his HIV infection. 

1993 The U.S. Senate called for full disclosure of Senator Bob
Packwood's diaries in a sexual harassment probe. 

1993 Christie Todd Whitman was elected the first woman governor
of New Jersey. 

1995 The U.S. expelled Daiwa Bank Ltd. for allegedly covering up
$1.1 billion in trading losses. 

2003 In the U.S., the Episcopal Church diocese consecrated the
church's first openly gay bishop.

2018  smiled.


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Alternative to Norton 




Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, November 1

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Wyandotte police arrest man with 
380 suspensions, 45 active warrants
for his arrest

______________________________________________________
Today, November 1 in
1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel were first exhibited to the public. The original had many
nude figures, which were painted over in the 1960s.
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish. --- Aeschylus (525 BC - 456 BC) To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence. --- Friedrich Nietzsche There's always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little - and it's always somebody else. --- Cullen Hightower Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that. --- Norman Vincent Peale ______________________________________________________ Nurse: "Doctor, Doctor the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step what should I do?" Doctor: "Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Wendy Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, "Listen here, good looking. I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere." His eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding... I'm in Government too. Are you Federal, or State? _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A guy goes to the doctor due to a hangnail. He walks in, tells the nurse what is wrong and she immediately tells him: "Go into the cubicle on the left and take off all your clothes. The doctor will be with you shortly." Wondering why this problem would require one to undress, he nontheless complies. After a few minutes, he becomes aware someone is in the cubicle next to his, separated only by a curtain. He peeks and there is another guy standing there undressed. He attracts the man's attention, then asks "Why do you suppose that nurse told me to take off all my clothes? I only have a hangnail?" The other man replied, "No idea, I'm just the UPS man trying to deliver a package." ______________________________________________________ Tree Kangaroos _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gerald Rashad Grant, 40, Wyandotte, Michigan Wyandotte police arrest man with 380 suspensions, 45 active warrants for his arrest A man who allegedly has been driving on a suspended license since 1999 has been arrested yet again. On Feb. 1, Wyandotte police pulled over the man after noticing a heavily cracked windshield on the driver’s side of his vehicle. That’s when they learned he was ineligible to drive due to over 380 current suspensions, and he had 45 active warrants for his arrest. Once again, it was not the man’s poor driving that caused him to get pulled over, but an issue with his vehicle. At approximately 2:30 a.m. Oct. 16, an officer was on Biddle Avenue when he noticed the vehicle in front of him had a burnt- out license plate lamp. A police report states the officer immediately recognized Gerald Rashad Grant, a 40-year-old Detroit resident, from prior arrests. The officer asked him for his driver’s license, registration and proof of insurance. “Grant handed me a Michigan identification card and was unable to provide any of the other requested documents,” the officer wrote in his report. “Grant then stated that his driver’s license was suspended. Grant stated ‘I just did six months for the last time you got me.’” According to police records, Grant’s number of suspensions had gone done from when he was pulled over in February, when he had 380. Currently his driver’s license is ineligible due to over 340 current suspensions. Records also indicate his driver’s license has been expired since Feb. 11, 1999, and there were 41 warrants for his arrest. According to Deputy Police Chief Archie Hamilton, in his entire police career he had only come across a handful of drivers who had more than 100 suspensions, but prior to Grant had never seen anyone with over 300. Hamilton said Grant was arraigned and received a $15,000/10 percent bond. He’s due back in 27th District Court Oct. 25 for a pretrial hearing. From: Bob Re: Alternatives to Norton Dear Webby. what do you recommend instead of Norton??? I have norton along with my DSL from AT&T bob Dear Bob I use Malwarebytes. That takes care of everything except spam. To control spam I use MailWasherM/a>. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
In MY day: Second Runner-Up: In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction. First Runner-Up: In my day, we didn't have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that stuff. No, it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always skipped, so to get them to play right you'd weigh the needle down with something like quarters, which we never had because our allowances were way too small, so we'd use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn't adjust our skates, which didn't really matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real pebbles on them, not like today. And the winner: In my day, we didn't have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads. Honorable Mentions: In my day, we didn't have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes. In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated. In my day, we didn't get that disembodied, slightly ticked- off voice saying 'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out, it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar. In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms. Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise. Back in my day, they hadn't invented electricity. We had to watch television by candlelight. Send me YOUR "In MY day" story!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Kathy and Suzy are having a conversation during there lunch break. Kathy asks, "So, Suzy, how's your sex life these days?" Suzy replies, "Oh, you know. It's the usual, Social Security kind." "Social Security?" Kathy asked quizzically. "Yeah, you get a little each month, but it's not enough to live on." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Mattresses Have Fragile Handles Don't move a mattress by picking it up by the handles on either side. They are made to shift the mattress from side to side and tend to break when used to move the whole mattress. Press both hands together on either side to get a grip on it. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
21 Houses to Avoid on Halloween
___________________________________________________ After listening to the elderly hooker plead her case, Judge Hanson called a brief recess and retired to his chambers. En route, he bumped into Judge Forbes. "Say," said Hanson, "what would you give a sixty-three year-old hooker?" "Oh gosh," replied Forbes, "five or six bucks tops." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Ann for this story: I wanted a haircut and phoned a salon early for an appoint- ment but was told customers were taken on a walk-in basis only. On Saturday I got there by 9 a.m. and there were already ten people waiting. I drove to another salon, but it was booked solid. Still another had no openings. The situation seemed hopeless, so I went home. My husband greeted me at the door. "That was fast," he said cheerfully. "Your hair looks great!"

Today November 1 in
1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel were first exhibited to the public. The original had many
nude figures, which were painted over in the 1960s.

1604 "Othello," the tragedy by William Shakespeare, was first
presented at Whitehall Palace in London. 

1611 "The Tempest," Shakespeare's romantic comedy, was first
presented at Whitehall Palace in London. 

1755 At least 60,000 people were killed in Lisbon, Portugal by an
earthquake, its aftershocks and the ensuing tsunami.

1765 The British Parliament enacted The Stamp Act in the American
colonies. The act was repealed in March of 1766 on the same day
that the Parliament passed the Declaratory Acts which asserted
that the British government had free and total legislative power
of the colonies. That did not go over well either. 

1800 U.S. President John Adams became the first president to live
in the White House when he moved in. 

1848 The first medical school for women, founded by Samuel
Gregory, opened in Boston, MA. The Boston Female Medical School
later merged with Boston University School of Medicine. 

1856 The first photography magazine, Daguerreian Journal, was
published in New York City, NY. 

1861 Gen. George B. McClellan was made the general-in-chief of
the American Union armies. 

1864 The U.S. Post Office started selling money orders. The money
orders provided a safe way to payments by mail. 

1870 The U.S. Weather Bureau made its first meteorological
observations using 24 locations that provided reports via
telegraph. 

1879 Thomas Edison executed his first patent application for a
high-resistance carbon filament (U.S. Pat. 223,898). 

1894 "Billboard Advertising" was published for the first time. It
later became known as "Billboard." 

1894 Russian Emperor Alexander III died. 

1904 The Army War College in Washington, DC, enrolled the first
class. 

1911 Italy used planes to drop bombs on the Tanguira oasis in
Libya. It was the first aerial bombing. 

1936 Benito Mussolini made a speech in Milan, Italy, in which he
described the alliance between Italy and Nazi Germany as an
"axis" running between Berlin and Rome. 

1940 "A Night in the Tropics" was released. It was the first
movie for Abbott and Costello. 

1949 In Washington, 55 people were killed when a fighter plane
hit an airliner. 

1950 Two Puerto Rican nationalists tried to assassinate U.S.
President Harry Truman. One of the men was killed when they tried
to force their way into Blair House in Washington, DC. 

1952 The United States exploded the first hydrogen bomb on
Eniwetok Atoll in the Marshall Islands. 

1954 Algeria began to rebel against French rule. 

1959 Jacques Plante, of the Montreal Canadiens, became the first
goalie in the NHL to wear a mask. 

1963 The USSR launched Polyot I. It was the first satellite
capable of maneuvering in all directions and able to change its
orbit. 

1968 The movie rating system of G, M, R, X, followed by PG-13 and
NC-17 went into effect. 

1979 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini urged all Iranians to
demonstrate on November 4 and to expand their attacks against the
U.S. and Israel. On November 4, Iranian militants seized the U.S.
embassy in Tehran and took 63 Americans hostage. 

1985 In the village of Ignacio Aldama, 22 members of a Mexican
anti-narcotics squad were killed by alleged drug traffickers. 

1987 Deng Xiaoping retired from China's Communist Party's Central
Committee. 

1989 Tens of thousands of refugees fled to the West when East
Germany reopened its border with Czechoslovakia. 

1989 Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega announced the end of a
cease-fire with the Contra rebels. 

1993 The European Community's treaty on European unity took
effect. 

1994 The Amazon.com domain name was registered. 

1995 In Dayton, OH, the Bosnian peace talks opened with the
leaders of Bosnia, Serbia and Croatia present. 

1998 Nicaraguan Vice President Enrique Bolanos announced that
between 1,000 and 1,500 people were buried in a 32-square mile
area below the slopes of the Casita volcano in northern Nicaragua
by a mudslide caused by Hurricane Mitch. 

1998 Iridium inaugurated the first handheld, global satellite
phone and paging system.

2018  smiled.


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"Outdated" email address 




Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, October 31



home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Mother of N.J. girl who died in 
pancake-eating contest sues college

______________________________________________________
Today, October 31 in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the
Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the
Protestant Reformation in Germany. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Quoting Pelosi yesterday apparently annoyed her two fans. According to them, quoting her is fashist and racist and Trumpist. So we lost 2 subscribers. Booo Hooo! Forward the Humor Letter and hopefully the numbers start climbing again! There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have. --- Don Herold ______________________________________________________ While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide. "Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard." "So what's the answer?" my friend asked him when we were out of earshot of the freshmen. The guide replied, "One." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ My brother and his wife shared their apartment with a parakeet named "Nicky." The exterminator was scheduled to come, so my sister-in-law put Nicky in the bedroom and hung a sign on the door: "Please skip this room. Do not open door. Pet flies." The exterminator came. On his receipt he wrote this comment: "Finished all of the apartment except room with pet flies." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny hollers out: "Okay everyone in the house, please stand advised that I, Little Johnny Elvis Smith, have on this date made a complete fool of myself in sex-education class by repeating stories concerning storks as told to me by certain parties residing in this house!" ______________________________________________________ Cat taking a selfie to prove who-dun-it. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rosanne Nelson, Connecticut Mother of N.J. girl who died in pancake-eating contest sues college The mother of a Connecticut college student who choked to death on pancakes during an eating contest on campus last year has filed a wrongful death lawsuit against the university. Rosanne Nelson sued Sacred Heart University on Monday in Bridgeport state court over the death of her daughter, 20-year- old Caitlin Nelson, of Clark. The lawsuit seeks an undisclosed amount of money and accuses the school of approving the contest despite the dangers and failing to provide adequate medical personnel. Officials at the Catholic university in Fairfield declined to comment. Caitlin Nelson was a junior social work major whose father, police officer James Nelson, was killed in the Sept. 11 attacks in Manhattan. She died at a New York City hospital three days after participating in the eating contest. Police said that Nelson suffered from multiple food allergies, but it is yet unclear what caused her death, the report said. From: Liz Re: "Outdated" email account Dear Webby. I got an email, supposedly from "admin@mailbox.com" that claimed " We noticed that your email account has been outdated . Your email account ...." MailWasher showed the underlying real email address, which was totally different. I was momentarily tempted to tell them where to stuff it, and how, but decided that would just confirm to them, that they got through to me. Instead I am telling you, so that you can alert all subscribers. Liz Dear Liz Yes, that is indeed the best way to handle stuff like that. Instead of making yourself a target, make them the target. It is easy enough to make a filter looking for "outdated". Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm. He stopped and asked the boy, "Where did you get that turkey?" The boy replied, "What turkey?" The game warden said, "That turkey you're carrying under your arm." The boy look down and said, "Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!" The game warden said, "Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you. If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him? The little boy said, "I guess I'll kiss his ass and let him go."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Eva After booking my 80-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. The representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision. My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely. "Oh, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, "And will your mother need a rental car?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Use the Crockpot for Stuffing Prepare your favorite stuffing and bake it in your crockpot while the turkey occupies the oven. You can prep this the day before and refrigerate. It is so much easier, tastier and safer than stuffing it into the turkey. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Five top destinations to see the Northern Lights.
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Millie for this story: As a new grandmother, I am very protective of my daughter Meredith's baby girl. One cool afternoon I dropped by to see my grandchild. Meredith and a friend had taken little Allison for a walk in her stroller and were just coming up the street. As soon as they reached me, I bent down to admire Allison and, in my fussiest voice, remarked, "Your little head is cold. You should have a hat on." My daughter looked knowingly at her friend and said, "You owe me ten bucks." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Swine Flu ALERT! Everyone should be aware that there is a possibility of another outbreak of swine flu during the next few months. Please be conscious of the indications that you or members of your family may have contracted the Swine Flu Virus. The symptoms associated with this disease are: 1.) Sore throat. 2.) Slight headache. 3.) Moderate to high temperature. 4.) Nausea or upset stomach. 5.) Uncontrollable urge to screw in the mud.

Today October 31 in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the
Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the
Protestant Reformation in Germany. 

1914 The Ottoman Empire (Turkey) joined the Central Powers
(Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Bulgaria). 

1922 Benito Mussolini became prime minister of Italy. 

1926 Magician Harry Houdini died of gangrene and peritonitis
resulting from a ruptured appendix. His appendix had been damaged
twelve days earlier when he had been punched in the stomach by a
student unexpectedly. During a lecture Houdini had commented on
the strength of his stomach muscles and their ability to
withstand hard blows. 

1940 The British air victory in the Battle of Britain prevented
Germany from invading Britain. 

1941 Mount Rushmore was declared complete after 14 years of work.
At the time the 60-foot busts of U.S. Presidents George
Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham
Lincoln were finished. 

1941 The U.S. Navy destroyer Reuben James was torpedoed by a
German submarine near Iceland. The U.S. had not yet entered World
War II. More than 100 men were killed. 

1952 The U.S. detonated its first hydrogen bomb. 

1954 The Algerian National Liberation Front (FLN) began a revolt
against French rule. 

1955 Britain's Princess Margaret announced she would not marry
Royal Air Force Captain Peter Townsend. 

1956 Rear Admiral G.J. Dufek became the first person to land an
airplane at the South Pole. Dufek also became the first person to
set foot on the South Pole. 

1959 Lee Harvey Oswald, a former U.S. Marine from Fort Worth, TX,
announced that he would never return to the U.S. At the time he
was in Moscow, Russia. 

1961 In the Soviet Union, the body of Joseph Stalin was removed
from Lenin's Tomb where it was on public display. 

1968 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered a halt to all U.S.
bombing of North Vietnam. 

1969 Wal-Mart Discount City stores were incorporated as Wal-Mart
Stores, Inc. 

1981 Antigua and Barbuda became independent of Great Britain. 

1983 The U.S. Defense Department acknowledged that during the
U.S. led invasion of Grenada, that a U.S. Navy plane had
mistakenly bombed a civilian hospital. 

1984 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated near
her residence by two Sikh security guards. Her son, Rajiv, was
sworn in as prime minister. 

1992 In Liberia, it was announced that five American nuns had
been killed near Monrovia. Rebels loyal to Charles Taylor were
blamed for the murders. 

1994 68 people were killed when an American Eagle ATR-72, plunged
into a northern Indiana farm. 

1997 Louise Woodward, British au pair, was sentenced to life in
prison after being convicted of second-degree murder in the death
of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. She was released after her
sentence was reduced to manslaughter. 

1998 Iraq announced that it was halting all dealings with U.N.
arms inspectors. The inspectors were investigating the country's
weapons of mass destruction stemming from Iraq's invasion of
Kuwait in 1990. 

1999 EgyptAir Flight 990 crashed off the coast of Nantucket, MA,
killing all 217 people aboard. 

1999 Leaders from the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran
Church signed the Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of
Justification. The event ended a centuries-old doctrinal dispute
over the nature of faith and salvation. 

2001 Microsoft and the U.S. Justice Department reached a
tentative agreement to settle the antitrust case against the
software company. 

2007 Google shares hit $700 for the first time. 

2008 Distribution Video Audio, Inc. shipped its final shipment of
VHS tapes to stores. The company was the last major United
States
supplier of pre-recorded VHS tapes. 

2018  smiled.


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Location of desktop wallpaper pictures 




Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, October 30

Well, I found the carefully hidden diagnostic center, 
even though I don't have a GPS or a Sillyphone. It is upstairs
from a tattoo parlor and tattoo removal parlor, beside a massage
parlor, and not near a major center.

They didn't do a total stress test like the last outfit I went to
a couple of years ago. They probably lost too many victims.
All they did was make me lie down on a gourney and a recent
import from the Phillipines, who was insecure about her language
skills, -or lack thereof-, and tried to hide that by being rude
and abrupt, used a hydraulic wand to spread some slimey goop on
me.

Whenever I tried to sneak a peek onto the screen, she instantly
hit the screen saver and told me to turn away from there.
I have no idea what her hysterical paranoia was about.
Oh, well. That chore is done.

I had rather looked forward to running till I almost passed out
and then diving onto a cuddly nurse, but I sure would not call
this one cuddly! Medicare is going downhill!


home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Arsenal of weapons found in truck of man 
passed out behind wheel in Florida

______________________________________________________
Today, October 30 in
1938 Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" aired on CBS radio.
The belief that the realistic radio dramatization was a live news
event about a Martian invasion caused panic among listeners. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"You have a business. You didn't build that. Someone else did!" --- Barack Obama (Quoted in 2012) And the most ridiculous gem of wisdom, from the "Mother Superior of STUPID": "We just have to pass Obama's Healthcare Bill to see what's in it." --- Nancy Pelosi (Quoted March in 2010 ) ______________________________________________________ A teenaged boy with spiked hair, nose ring, and baggy clothes says to his friend, "I don't really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from making me go with them to visit Aunt Helen." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Kim Mom was getting swamped with calls from strangers. The reason? A medical billing service had launched an 800 number that was identical to hers. When she called to complain, they told her to get a new number. "I've had mine for twenty years," she pleaded. "Couldn't you change yours?" They refused. So Mom said, "Fine. From now on I'm going to tell everyone who calls that their bill is paid in full." The company got a new number the next day. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ In a cafeteria : "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria." (hand-written underneath) ~ "Socks can eat any place they want." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Goldammer, 32, Miami Beach, Floriduh Arsenal of weapons found in truck of man passed out behind wheel in Florida Police said they could smell alcohol coming from the car and the driver almost fell when they told him to get out of the vehicle. A stockpile of weapons, including loaded handguns and a semi- automatic rifle, was found in the back of a truck after Florida police found the driver passed out behind the wheel. David Goldammer, 32, was arrested after officers found him unconscious in his pickup with the engine running and parked in front of an alley in Miami Beach around 1 a.m. ET on Thursday. David GoldammerDavid GoldammerMiami-Dade Corrections Police said they could smell alcohol coming from the car and Goldammer almost fell when they told him to get out of the vehicle. Two open beer bottles were found in the truck, as well as two loaded handguns. He also had a gun in the waistband of his pants, police said. Officers ordered Goldammer to perform a field sobriety test, but he refused and was taken into custody. A search of his vehicle turned up two more loaded handguns, a semi-automatic rifle, a pocketknife with a swastika on it, a bullet-resistant vest and a large amount of ammunition. Police have not said why Goldammer, from South Dakota, had the stockpile in his car or what he was doing in the area. "What's alarming in this case is that it's the early morning hours, it's Thursday morning, and there's a man asleep at the wheel under the influence of an alcoholic beverage with an arsenal of weapons in his possession," police spokesman Ernesto Rodriguez told NBC affiliate WTVJ. "That is a deadly combination and we need to understand why he was here in Miami Beach, or South Florida for that matter." Goldammer was charged with DUI, openly carrying a weapon and carrying a concealed firearm. From: Carolyn Re: Re-using desktop background Dear Webby. I found a pretty fall picture and made it my desktop picture. I do not remember where I found it. How can I save it when I get ready to put a winter scene on my desktop. (I have a laptop) Thanks P.S. As always, I sure enjoy your newsletter!!! Carolyn/Indiana Dear Carolyn Look in MyPictures I would be wiling to bet that you saved it to there, and that Windows is serving it to the desktop from there. You can even make a screen saver from the pictures that you saved to MyPictures. Just move the ones that are not suitable to a different folder. When you select "SlideShow" as your screen saver, it uses the pictures in that folder. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me and get me a coffee while you are up anyway."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone know what we mean by sins of omission?" A small girl replied, "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but didn't?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Inexpensive Artwork for Your Walls If you can't afford art prints, find some old calendars with artwork by your favorite artists and take them apart. Place them in a nice dollar store frame or use for a collage. Outdated calendars can be bought for next to nothing. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Five top destinations to see the Northern Lights.
___________________________________________________ >From Ina On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist. The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren in Boston. Then she inquired what I did for a living. I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free professional advice. Instead she sat back and said, "If there's anything you want to know, just ask me." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Today October 30 in
1817 The independent government of Venezuela was established by
Simon Bolivar. 

1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton
County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave
uprising in American history. 

1875 The constitution of Missouri was ratified by popular vote. 

1893 The U.S. Senate gave final approval to repeal the Sherman
Silver Purchase Act of 1890. 

1894 The time clock was patented by Daniel M. Cooper of
Rochester, NY. 

1938 Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" aired on CBS radio.
The belief that the realistic radio dramatization was a live news
event about a Martian invasion caused panic among listeners. 

1943 In Moscow, a declaration was signed by the Governments of
the Soviet Union, the United Kingdom, the United States and China
called for an early establishment of an international
organization to maintain peace and security. The goal was
supported on December 1, 1943, at a meeting in Teheran. 

1945 The U.S. government announced the end of shoe rationing. 

1953 General George C. Marshall was awarded the Nobel Peace
Prize. 

1961 The Soviet Union tested a hydrogen bomb with a force of
approximately 58 megatons. 

1961 The Soviet Party Congress unanimously approved an order to
remove Joseph Stalin's body from Lenin's tomb. 

1972 U.S. President Richard Nixon approved legislation to
increase Social Security spending by $5.3 billion. 

1972 In Illinois, 45 people were killed when two trains collided
on Chicago's south side. 

1975 Prince Juan Carlos assumed power in Spain as dictator
Francisco Franco was near death. 

1975 The New York Daily News ran the headline "Ford to City: Drop
Dead." The headline came a day after U.S. President Gerald R.
Ford said he would veto any proposed federal bailout of New York
City. 

1982 Portugal's constitution was revised for the first time since
it was ratified on April 25, 1976. 

1984 In Poland, police found the body of kidnapped pro-Solidarity
priest Father Jerry Popieluszko. His death was blamed on four
security officers. 

1989 Mitsubishi Estate Company announced it would buy 51 percent
of Rockefeller Group Inc. of New York. 

1993 Martin Fettman, America's first veterinarian in space,
performed the world's first animal dissections in space, while
aboard the space shuttle Columbia. 

1993 The United Nations deadline concerning ousted Haitian
President Jean-Bertrand Aristide passed with country's military
still in control. 

1995 Federalists prevailed over separatists in Quebec in a
referendum concerning secession from the federation of Canada. 

1998 The terrorist who hijacked a Turkish Airlines plane and the
39 people on board were killed when anti-terrorist squads raided
the plane. 

2018  smiled.


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Cooling a modern laptop 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, October 29

Today I have to drive to Calgary for Cardio-Diagnostics,
whatever that is. Could be anything from MRI to running on an
inclined treadmill with EKG electrodes attached, and with senior
nurses frowning at me when I don't fall off the treadmill and
onto them. Hmmm, maybe I should fake a fall and find out?

I'll find out and tell you tomorrow.

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


South Carolina dopey woman goes nuts

______________________________________________________
Today, October 29 in
1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S. 
to prepare for WWII.
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"You don't need God anymore; you have us Democrats." --- Nancy Pelosi (Quoted in 2006) "Paying taxes is voluntary." --- Sen. Harry Reid Al Capone was sent to jail not for bootlegging or racketeering, but for tax evasion. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Our college just completed a new three-story building. While walking down a hall on the second floor, I overheard two students say, "I really like the skylights on the third floor." "Me too," remarked the second student. "I don't know why they didn't just put some on the second floor too." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Also from Sandie: My violin teacher was teaching a large group class. She showed them her violin and said, "This violin was made in the early 1800s." Someone in the class raised their hand and asked, "Did they make it specially for you?" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Arnie for this story: I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on business class. During the return flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in a vomit bag. After the plane landed I got up to leave and a stewardess approached me. She asked, "Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that for you?" I said, "No thanks, I'm saving it for my kids." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cameo Louise Luchka, 26, Hanahan, South Carolina South Carolina dopey woman goes nuts A threesome went terribly wrong Monday night when a South Carolina woman high on meth and heroin allegedly attempted to bite off the genitals of a male with whom she was trysting, police report. Cops were summoned around 9:30 PM on October 22 to an apartment complex in Hanahan, a city about 15 miles north of Charleston. A 911 caller reported an assault “where the female attempted to bite off” his penis. Upon arriving at the residence, cops spotted “a naked white female on hands and knees” crawling into a hallway. The woman, covered in blood, ignored police commands to stop moving and was “charging toward the Officers,” according to a Hanahan Police Department report. The woman, cops noted, had “already threatened to bite off [the victim’s] penis as well.” When the suspect continued to advance on officers, a patrolman “engaged his taser on the female,” as first reported by WCSC’s Harve Jacobs. The suspect, identified as Cameo Louise Luchka, 26, told police that she had used heroin and methamphetamine that evening. Luchka later struggled with cops as they sought to place her on a gurney, and “barked, growled, and hissed” at police. The victim, Steven Norton, 31, told cops that he and another man were having sex with Luchka when she “started passing out from drug use.” Norton said that he then asked Luchka (seen above) to leave his apartment, but she refused. Norton said that Luchka began throwing items at him and threatened to “bite his dick off.” Norton said that Luchka struck him above the right eye with a glass object, “causing a gash.” Before calling 911, Norton recalled, he struck Luchka “several times with his fists.” Norton told police that “if Luchka went to the hospital, he would not pursue charges.” Luchka was transported to a North Charleston hospital, while Norton was treated for injuries at a Charleston hospital. While cops have classified the incident as an aggravated assault, investigators are still reviewing the matter and no arrest has been made, according to Police From: Dani Re: Cooling a laptop Good Morning Webby. I know you have probably answered this question before, but since I didn't have a laptop I didn't pay attention to your advise. Now I have a laptop and I am wondering what is the best way to keep it cool. Thank you as always for your expert advise. A Webby Fan, Dani Dear Dani That depends entirely on the laptop. Some suck the cooling air from the bottom, some from the side, and some even through the keyboard. They all tell you in the manual, and what part you should not obstruct. Most modern laptops don't produce as much heat as they used to, even ten years ago. Unless you have a very expensive, high powered game machine, I would not worry about it, but before you heave the manual into storage, have a peek. It usually tells you. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A stewardess approached a gentleman who was voicing his complains rather loudly. "Yes, Sir?" "I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can't see the in-flight movie, and there are no window blinds, so I can't sleep." "Captain, shut up and pretend to be busy. "
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said. "So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Silverware Line a pan with aluminum foil, fill it with water, add 1 Tbsp. of baking soda for each 2 cups. Heat to boiling and remove from heat. Add silver then rinse and polish them lightly. The foil attracts the tarnish so make sure the silver touches the foil. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Mind blowing Halloween pumpkins!
___________________________________________________ In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur." The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular wine, but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary. "Could you please spell that?" she asked. "You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e". ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Two priests were talking together and the older one said to the younger, "You know, when you came into church with all your new ideas, I had questions about how you were going to fit in and how well your ideas were going to work." "When you wanted to put bucket seats down in the front two rows of seats, I had my doubts. But now, at every mass, the seats are filled up with young people, so I have to agree that it was a good idea." "Then, when you wanted to jazz up the choir and we started singing newer, peppier songs, I was afraid it would offend the parishioners. Now, we have a lot of new, younger choir members, and the music seems to pick up the services a lot more than the old music. So, once again I have to agree that you were right! "But when you wanted to put in the drive-through confessional, I have to admit I thought you'd lost it. But now, at least, there are more people coming to confession than ever. I think you've come up with another good idea." "However, the neon sign out front that says, 'Toot 'n tell or go to hell', has got to go!

Today October 29 in
1618 Sir Walter Raleigh was beheaded under a sentence that had
been brought against him 15 years earlier for conspiracy against
King James I. 

1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be an
independent commonwealth. 

1682 William Penn landed at what is now Chester, PA. He was the
founder of Pennsylvania. 

1863 The International Committee of the Red Cross was founded. 

1901 Leon Czolgosz, the assassin of U.S. President McKinley, was
electrocuted. 

1923 Turkey formally became a republic after the dissolution of
the Ottoman Empire. The first president was Mustafa Kemal, later
known as Kemal Ataturk. 

1929 America's Great Depression began with the crash of the Wall
Street stock market. 

1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S. to
prepare for WWII. 

1945 The first ballpoint pens to be made commercially went on
sale at Gimbels Department Store in New York at the price of
$12.50 each. 

1956 Israel invaded Egypt's Sinai Peninsula during the Suez Canal
Crisis. 

1959 General Mills became the first corporation to use close-
circuit television. 

1960 Muhammad Ali (Cassius Clay) won his first professional
fight. 

1966 The National Organization for Women was founded. 

1969 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered an immediate end to all
school segregation. 

1973 O.J. Simpson, of the Buffalo Bills, set two NFL records. He
carried the ball 39 times and he ran 157 yards putting him over
1,000 yards at the seventh game of the season. 

1974 U.S. President Gerald Ford signed a new law forbidding
discrimination in credit applications on the basis of sex or
marital status 

1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to hold Saddam Hussein's
regime liable for human rights abuses and war damages during its
occupation of Kuwait. 

1991 The U.S. Galileo spacecraft became the first to visit an
asteroid (Gaspra). 

1991 Trade sanctions were imposed on Haiti by the U.S. to
pressure the new leaders to restore the ousted President Jean-
Bertrand Aristide to power. 

1992 Depo Provera, a contraceptive, was approved by the Food and
Drug Administration. 

1998 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off with John Glenn on
board. Glenn was 77 years old. In 1962 he became the first
American to orbit the Earth. 

1998 The oldest known copy of Archimedes' work sold for $2
million at a New York auction. 

2001 KTLA broadcasted the first coast to coast HDTV network
telecast. 

2014 The smartwatch Microsoft Band was released

2018  smiled.


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Forward and Back via bottom Status line 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, October 28

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


British woman claimed her fake blow-job-lips
stopped her from blowing police breathalyser

______________________________________________________
Today, October 28 in
1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"I invented the Internet." --- Al Gore "America is, is no longer, uh, what it, uh, could be, uh, what it was once was, uh, and I say to myself, uh, I don't want that future, uh, for my children." --- Barack Obama "I have campaigned in all 57 states." --- Barack Obama (Quoted in 2008) ______________________________________________________ RULES OF THE OFFICE ** If it rings, put it on hold; ** If it clanks, call the repairman; ** If it whistles, ignore it; ** If it's a friend, take a break; ** If it's the boss, look busy; ** If it talks, take notes; ** If it's handwritten, type it; ** If it's typed, copy it; ** If it's copied, file it; ** If it's Friday, forget it! ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sunday School Bloopers: Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like Delilah. Sampson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father. The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. Moses died before he ever reached the UK. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. When the three wise guys from the East Side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager. Jesus was born because Mary had an emaculate contraption. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Mrs. Morris Siegel beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf Goodman's, pointed to white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said, "Hey Sonny boy, so how much the dress on that store dummy over there is?" "That dress is $899.95, Madam," sneered the rather snooty salesman. "Oy! For $99.95 I could get the same dress at Klein's Bargain Store downtown!" "But Madam," said the salesman, "You'll find that the dress at Klein's is recycled wool. This original is 100% pure virgin wool." "Nu! So for $800 I should be caring what the sheep at night do?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Scarlett Harrison, 20, Manchester, England British woman claimed her fake blow-job-lips stopped her from blowing police breathalyser Scarlett Harrison, 20, was found to be over the limit when she was stopped in Manchester city centre after drinking Pink Gins with a friend she fell out with. When at the police station she was asked to provide a second, more accurate sample but she said her collagen implants made it difficult to get her mouth around the tube. Harrison, who has appeared in Ex On The Beach and has just returned from a summer in Ibiza, tried to blow four times before saying ‘my lips are too big’. As a result she was charged with failing to provide a breath sample and tried to avoid conviction by saying she was unable to blow for ‘medical reasons’. Harrison, the daughter of an engineering business owner, pleaded guilty on the day her trial was due to start. The court heard that she pulled over on June 20 in her Mini One in a taxi rank outside Piccadilly train station. She has been banned from driving for 16 months and ordered to pay £310 in fines and costs. Prosecutor Neil White said: ‘When the officers went over to speak to her, they could smell alcohol on her breath and so conducted a roadside breath test. ‘She was over the limit so she was taken to the police station. At the station, they informed her about going through to the intoximeter room and proceeded to discuss the demeanour of the defendant and how she now felt. ‘She tried to go through with it and attempted to blow four times. She told them she was anxious and nervous and when asked by the police officer if there was any reason why she couldn’t provide a sample, she said her lips were too big and she couldn’t blow into it. ‘They asked if she had any medical conditions or health conditions that could stop her doing so and she said: “No, just my lips”.’ Her lawyer Matthew Wallace said: ‘Along with the current trend, she has collagen implants in her lips which is something that caused her due difficulty in forming a seal around the tube. He added: ‘She is currently out of work, she arrived back from working abroad in Ibiza week ago. She is due to start work at a local restaurant once it opens, she is just awaiting a starting date. She lives with her parents. She is ordinarily employed. Her father sold the car the day after her arrest. Apparently he did not believe her BS. From: Bobbi Re: Forward and Back via bottom Status line Dear Webby I have IE on my computer. There were forward and back arrows at the bottom of each e-mail message that you could use to go to the next message, or back. Now they have suddenly disappeared. I have to go to the top of each message after reading it to use the arrow up there to go on to the next message. So far, IE help has been no help, telling me that this feature is cuurently not available. it was there 4 days ago. What gives? Thanks, Bobbi Dear Bobbi That must be a Hotmail feature, not a browser feature. I have never seen it on IE. Check in the Hotmail preferences. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Two contafiters way up nort in Chicargo wuz makin sum contafit money an dey accidently made sum twelve dollar bill by mistake. Dey made a whole bunch of dem before dey foun dere mistake, so insted of startin over dey decide to try to pass dem off. Dey always herd how backward people in Louisiana wuz, especially dem folks name Boudreaux frum down neer Lafayette so dey jumpin dere car an drive down to Lafayette, LA an wen dey got dere dey look in da fone book an shore enuf dey fine Boudreaux's General Store an Mercantile listed rite dere in da yeller pages. Dey went to Boudreaux's store an walk up to da man at da counter. Da firs contafiter say, "Are you Mr. Boudreaux?" Boudreaux say, "Mais shore, dat's me. Wat can Ah do fa you fellers?" Da contafiter wisper to his frien, "This is gonna be easier than I thought." Da contafiter say, "Can you give us change for a twelve dollar bill?" Boudreaux say, "Mais shore Ah can! How you want dat, tree fores, fore trees, or 2 sixes?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A ThirdAger is getting his annual physical when the doctor notices several dark, ugly bruises on the man's shins. "Do you play hockey, soccer or another physical sport?" the doctor asks. "No," says the man. "I play bridge with my wife." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Less Wrinkles: Hang Dresses and Suits Quickly Hang your jacket up when you get home to reduce wrinkles. The heat from your body helps ease the wrinkles out of the garment as it hangs. The same goes for dresses. Also make sure clothing is not packed too tightly in the closet, or they will develop wrinkles in the closet. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Castles right out of fairy tales.
___________________________________________________ The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his employees to write him a punchy, 20-minute speech. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious. "What's the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?" he demanded to know. "Half the audience walked out before I finished." The employee was baffled. "I wrote you a 20-minute speech," he replied. "I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
An hysterical mother phones the family's pediatrician with an emergency. "Doctor," she says, "I was writing a letter when my two-year-old came along, grabbed my fancy fountain pen and swallowed it. What should I do?" "Don't panic, I'll be right over," says the doctor. "In the meantime, what are you doing?" he asks. "I'm using a pencil."

Today October 28 in
1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts. The original
name was Court of Massachusetts Bay Colony. It was the first
school of higher education in America. 

1776 The Battle of White Plains took place during the American
Revolutionary War. 

1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin. 

1886 The Statue of Liberty was dedicated in New York Harbor by
U.S. President Cleveland. The statue weighs 225 tons and is 152
feet tall. It was originally known as "Liberty Enlightening the
World." 

1904 The St. Louis Police Department became the first to use
fingerprinting. 

1919 The U.S. Congress enacted the Volstead Act, also known as
the National Prohibition Act. Prohibition was repealed in 1933
with the passing of the 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. 

1922 Benito Mussolini took control of the Italian government and
introduced fascism to Italy. 

1940 During World War II, Italy invaded Greece. 

1962 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev informed the U.S. that he
had ordered the dismantling of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 

1965 Pope Paul VI issued a decree absolving Jews of collective
guilt for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. 

1965 The Gateway Arch along the waterfront in St. Louis, MO, was
completed. 

1976 John D. Erlichman, a former aide to U.S. President Richard
Nixon, entered a federal prison camp in Safford, AZ, to begin
serving his sentence for Watergate-related convictions. 

1983 The U.S. vetoed a U.N. Security Council resolution "deeply
deploring" the ongoing U.S.-led invasion of Grenada. 

1985 John A. Walker Jr. and his son, Michael Lance Walker, pled
guilty to charges of spying for the Soviet Union. 

1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French manufacturer that produces the
abortion pill RU486, announced it would resume distribution of
the drug after the government of France demanded it do so. 

1990 Iraq announced that it was halting gasoline rationing. 

1993 Ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, called for
a complete blockade of Haiti to force out the military leaders. 

1994 U.S. President Clinton visited Kuwait and implied that all
the troops there would be home by Christmas. 

1996 The Dow Jones Industial Average gained a record 337.17
points (or 5%). The day before the Dow had dropped 554.26 points
(or 7%). 

2018  smiled.


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Deleting old Windows updates 




Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, October 27

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Man tasered by police for refusing 
to stop having sex with car exhaust

______________________________________________________
Today, October 27 in
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the 
first Quakers to be executed in America. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"My fear is if North Korea nukes us, Trump is gonna get us into a war." --- Maxine Waters.......2017 "We are all born ignorant, but one must work very hard to remain STUPID!" --- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) ______________________________________________________ Q: How do we know that the democrats sent themselves bombs? A: None of them worked. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Millie We purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared. One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up. "For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The personnel manager was impressing the applicant with the prospective job. "We make parts for microscopes. You'll be required to work with lenses that are a hundreths of an inch thick." "I can handle it," the applicant said, "I used to slice meat in a delicatessen, I can slice ham so thin it is kosher." ______________________________________________________ Trash Passing is illegal in 'Bama _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ryan Scott Malek, 24, Newton, Kansas Man tasered by police for refusing to stop having sex with car exhaust Ryan Scott Malek's was four times the legal alcohol limit when police found him in a questionable position with a parked car on May 1. Officers tried to get him to stop, but persistent Malek, from Newton, Kansas, US, kept going. Court documents show Ryan Scott Malek was charged for lewd and lascivious behaviour Malek was reportedly 'oblivious' to what he was doing, so police decided to Taser him, according to the Smoking Gun. It appears Malek had an audience of six other witnesses watching him at the time, court documents revealed. The 24-year-old was taken to hospital and given a chance to sober up. He later pleaded guilty to lewd and lascivious behaviour and was put on probation for one year. According to police arrest logs, Malek was arrested for aggravated assault and use of a deadly weapon in February. From: Martin Re: Deleting Windows Updates Dear Webby Just thought of a question that would maybe be of help to others for once. Is it necessary to keep all of the Windows updates, or can some be safely deleted after a time? I have a bunch of them and can't see holding on to all of them, taking up disk space if so. Thanks, Martin Dear Martin Are you talking about UPDATES, or are you referring to Update UNINSTALL files? The UNINSTALL files are a waste of space and it is safe to delete them. The purpose of those Windows Update uninstall files is being a safety net, just in case an update is too haywire and can't be patched with a further update, and you need to uninstall it. However, Microsoft software writers are building their job security on their ability to patch the patched patches. The only Update, that was so bad, that it was necessary to uninstall it, is IE. If you are paranoid, keep the uninstall files a week, and get rid of the old ones. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
>From Linda When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" "I know," answered the young man. "I already got that side."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Jocelyn When my 3-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" Mom smiled and then replied, "Oh, I remember!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Making Your To-Do List Fun When your "To Do" List seems overwhelming, sit down and write FIVE THINGS on a small slip of paper. Mix up small and large tasks with one "reward" thrown in. This is now your "Flash List", do all 5 things before stopping, right in a row, in the order you have written them to WIN! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Well....this is certainly a different desert house.
___________________________________________________ Eva went to a store to buy some insecticide. "Is this good for beetles?" she asked the clerk. "No," he replied. "It'll kill 'em." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
My friend Monica is an accomplished harpist, who frequently plays for weddings, reception, parties, and other such events. She is also blond and has an appropriately cherubic face. She was on her way to an engagement at a hotel, and stepped into an elevator with her large golden harp. Just before the doors closed, a distinguished gray- haired man stepped on. As the elevator rose, he looked thoughtfully first at her and then her harp and asked, "And just how far up are you going?"

Today October 27 in
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the first
Quakers to be executed in America. 

1787 The first of the Federalist Papers were published in the New
York Independent. The series of 85 essays, written by Alexander
Hamilton, James Madison and John Jay, were published under the
pen name "Publius." 

1795 The United States and Spain signed the Treaty of San
Lorenzo. The treaty is also known as "Pinckney's Treaty." 

1858 Roland Macy opened Macy's Department Store in New York City.
It was Macy's eighth business adventure, the other seven failed. 

1878 The Manhattan Savings Bank in New York City was robbed of
over $3,000,000. The robbery was credited to George "Western"
Leslie even though there was not enough evidence to convict him,
only two of his associates were convicted. 

1904 The New York subway system officially opened. It was the
first rapid-transit subway system in America. 

1925 Fred Waller received a patent for water skis. 

1927 The first newsreel featuring sound was released in New York.


1931 Chuhei Numbu of Japan set a long jump record at 26' 2 1/4". 

1938 Du Pont announced "nylon" as the new name for its new
synthetic yarn. 

1947 "You Bet Your Life," the radio show starring Grouch Marx,
premiered on ABC. It was later shown on NBC television. 

1954 Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were divorced. They had been
married on January 14, 1954. 

1962 The Soviet Union adds to the Cuban Missile Crisis by calling
for the dismantling of U.S. missile basis in Turkey. U.S.
President Kennedy agreed to the new aspect of the agreement. 

1978 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister
Menachem Begin were named winners of the Nobel Peace Prize for
their progress toward achieving a Middle East accord. 

1994 The U.S. Justice Department announced that the U.S. prison
population had exceeded one million for the first time in
American history. 

1997 The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped 554.26 points. The
stock market was shut down for the first time since the 1981
assassination attempt on U.S. President Reagan. 

2002 Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva was elected president of Brazil in
a runoff. He was the country's first elected leftist leader. 

2003 Bank of America Corp. announced it had agreed to buy
FleetBoston Financial Corp. The deal created the second largest
banking company in the U.S.

2018  smiled.


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ScreenSavers 




Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, October 26
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


home4christmas.com is for sale! 
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Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

DeLand man arrested for stealing over 
$50,000 in airplane parts, fuel

______________________________________________________
Today, October 26 in
1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile
canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of
$7,602,000. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Steven Wright (1955 - ) I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty. --- Nancy Reagan (1921 - ) ______________________________________________________ "What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the cop handed him a speeding ticket. "Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get to buy a bicycle." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The thunder god went for a ride, upon his favorite filly. "I'm Thor," he cried. The horse replied, "You forgot your thaddle, thilly." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The young lady walked over to the hospital room where she knew her friend was. "May I see Irving, please?" she asked the woman blocking the door. "We don't allow anyone but relatives to see the patients," replied the woman. "Are you a member of the family?" "Why-er-why, yes. I'm his sister," said the lady. "Oh, I'm so glad to meet you," said the woman. "I'm his mother!" ______________________________________________________ Noella's Swan, Bolivar, MO _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joseph Lippo, 60, DeLand, Florida DeLand man arrested for stealing over $50,000 in airplane parts, fuel A DeLand aviation business owner is accused of stripping parts from planes in order to sell them and replacing them with older parts. According to the DeLand Police Department, multiple airplane owners have been victims of the scheme. Joseph Lippo, 60, was arrested Wednesday on charges of theft of more than $10,000 from a person 65 or older and grand theft. Police said Lippo removed parts, including radios, a compass and a battery from two planes and charged the planes' owners for replacements. Lippo is also accused of stealing fuel and a life raft from one of the planes and charging the owner for repairs that police said were never performed. One of Lippo's former employees told police the suspect regularly instructed him to remove parts and fuel from the plane stored at Lippo's hangar. Officers said the parts Lippo allegedly stole appeared for resale at a consignment store in Fort Lauderdale and on Craigslist. The total cost of everything stolen is over $50,000, according to a news release. The release states the cost of the repairs that were never performed appears to equal "tens of thousands of dollars." Lippo was released from the Volusia County Jail on bond Thursday morning. He declined to comment. From: Trish Re: Screen Saver Dear Webby It occurred to me that I don't have a 'screen saver' on. I don't know if it's best to have it on or not to, I'm sure some other readers would be interested to know. I did look at the 'clock screensavers', downloaded the mickey mouse one (or all of them for all I know), it did appear after whatever time I have screen saver on for but after half an hour or so the screen went black as it usually is when I leave my computer on. Is this the 'power saving thing happening' or what? I really am not sure why one should have a 'screen saver', does it 'save the screen' or what, "please explain". Think I read once that they just take up space on the computer. Not talking about the desktop picture, just screen saver and why if you put one on the thing goes black after a short while anyway. Thanks if you can answer this. Regards to you and yours, Trish Dear Trish The screensaver makes sure that you don't burn the default desktop into the screen. With today's monitors that is not so common, but I remember when I was a mobile computer tech and taking care of the government computers in the Yukon, and seeing all the 10 inch greenie monitors clearly showing the IBM DisplayWrite 4 menu, even when turned off. A moving picture prevents that from happening. Another reason for screen savers is so that the monitor does not show your Solitaire game or Farmville or Space Wars when you are running off to get coffee. The reason your monitor eventually turns off is not because it gets tired of amusing the dust bunnies, but to reduce your electricity bill. You can set the length of time it burns electricity, after you finish doing anything on it, in the power options. A modern monitor burns very little electricity and produces very little heat. However, over the course of a year, it does amount to a noticeable amount of cash. I would recommend to set the power option for the monitor to about 2 minutes. Have FUN! DearWebby

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A man and woman are having marriage problems, and decide to end their union after a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple goes to court to finalize their break-up. The judge asks the husband, "What has brought you to the point that you are now at, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?" The husband says, "In the six weeks we've been together, we haven't been able to agree on one thing." The wife interrupts with a correction: "Six and a half weeks!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The US has succeeded in building a computer able to solve any strategic or tactical problem. Military leaders are assembled in front of the new machine and instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it. They describe a hypothetical situation to the computer and then ask the pivotal question: Attack or Retreat? The computer hums away for an hour and then comes up with the answer: YES. The generals look at each other, somewhat stupefied. Finally one of them submits a second request to the computer: YES WHAT? Instantly the computer responded: YES SIR. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Reduce Water In Toilet Tank Place a jug or bottle filled with water and rocks in your toilet tank to reduce the amount of water used with each flush. Don't use bricks because they will dissolve over time. Make sure that all of the workings inside the tank are not hampered. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Well....this is certainly a different desert house.
___________________________________________________ A group of cannibals are hired for programming. Their manager told them, you are doing good work, but please, don't touch your collegues and eat them. We have a canteen, you can eat there. Ok, so the cannibals promised. After 6 Weeks, the manager spoke to them again: Ok we are satisfied with your work and everything, and you are behaving very well. By the way, we are missing a cleaning woman, has somebody touched her? The cannibals denied. After he left, the chief of the cannibals asks "Who is the idiot who ate that cleaning women?" One of the cannibals admitted that he did. Are you out of your mind? For six weeks now have been eating VP's and Senior managers and nobody is taking notice. How can you be so stupid as to eat a working person? ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Larry goes to see his travel agent. "Hey Larry, going away on holiday again?" "Yes, but I need to ask for something different." "Go ahead ask me." "You know last year you suggested Hawaii and when I returned my wife was pregnant." "Yes, but. . ." "And the year before you suggested Bermuda and when I returned my wife was pregnant." "Yes, but. . ." "And the year before that I went to Bali and when I returned my wife was pregnant." "Yes." "Well! Could you suggest something cheaper this year so that I can bring her with me and keep an eye on her?"

Today October 26 in
1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile
canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of
$7,602,000. 

1858 H.E. Smith patented the rotary-motion washing machine. 

1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone, AZ.
The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and Doc
Holiday against the Ike Clanton Gang. 

1905 Norway gained independence from Sweden. 

1942 The U.S. ship Hornet was sunk in the Battle of Santa Cruz
during World War II. 

1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf ended. The
battle was won by American forces and brought the end of the
Pacific phase of World War II into sight. 

1949 U.S. President Harry Truman raised the minimum wage from 40
to 75 cents an hour. 

1951 Winston Churchill became the prime minister of Great
Britain. 

1958 Pan American Airways flew its first Boeing 707 jetliner from
New York City to Paris. 

1962 The Soviet Union made an offer to end the Cuban Missile
Crisis by taking their missile bases out of Cuba if the U.S.
agreed to not invade Cuba and would remove Jupiter missiles in
Turkey. 

1967 The Shah of Iran crowned himself and his Queen after 26
years on the Peacock Throne. 

1972 U.S. National security adviser Henry Kissinger declared,
"Peace is at hand" in Vietnam. 

1977 The experimental space shuttle Enterprise successfully
landed at Edwards Air Force Base in California. 

1979 South Korean President Park Chung-hee was shot to death by
Kim Jae-kyu, the head of the Korean Central Intelligence Agency. 

1980 Israeli President Yitzhak Navon became the first Israeli -
head of state to visit Egypt. 

1984 "Baby Fae" was given the heart of a baboon after being born
with a severe heart defect. She lived for 21 days with the animal
heart. 

1985 Approximately 110,000 people marched past the U.S. and
Soviet embassies in London to pressure the two countries to end
their arms race. 

1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French pharmaceutical company, announced it
was halting the worldwide distribution of RU-486. The pill is
used to induce abortions. The French government made the company
reverse itself two days later. 

1988 Two whales were freed by Soviet and American icebreakers.
The whales had been trapped for nearly 3 weeks in an Arctic ice
pack. 

1990 The U.S. State Department issued a warning that terrorists
could be planning an attack on a passenger ship or aircraft. 

1990 Wayne Gretzky became the first NHL player to reach 2,000
points. 

1991 Former Washington Mayor Marion Barry arrived at a federal
correctional institution in Petersburg, VA, to begin serving a
six-month sentence for cocaine possession. 

1992 General Motors Corp. Chairman Robert Stempel resigned after
the company recorded its highest losses in history. 

1992 In Canada, voters rejected the Charlottetown accord, which
was designed to unify the country. 

1993 Deborah Gore Dean was convicted of 12 felony counts of
defrauding the U.S. government and lying to the U.S. Congress.
Dean was a central figure in the Reagan-era HUD scandal. 

1994 Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin of Israel and Prime Minister
Abdel Salam Majali of Jordan signed a peace treaty. 

1995 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 500th
National Hockey League (NHL) career goal against the New York
Islanders in his 605th game. He became the second-fastest player
to attain the plateau. Wayne Gretzky had reached 600 goals by his
575th NHL game. 

1996 Federal prosecutors cleared Richard Jewell as a suspect in
the Olympic park bombing. 

1998 A French lab found a nerve agent on an Iraqi missile
warhead. 

2001 It was announced that Fort Worth's Lockheed Martin won a
defense contract for $200 billion over 40 years. The contract,
for the "joint strike fighter," was the largest defense contract
in history. 

2002 Russian authorities pumped a gas into a theater where
separatist rebels held over 800 hostages. The gas killed 116
hostages and all 50 hostage-takers were killed by the gas or
gunshot wounds.

2018  smiled.


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Inkjet or Laser? 





Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, October 25

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.


Liberal students in Arizona State University majoring in
Wimpology claim they got PTSD because of Hillary losing the
election and Trump being President.                              


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Woman shoots grandson for repeatedly
putting cup of tea on her good furniture

______________________________________________________
Today, October 25 in
1955 The microwave oven, for home use, was introduced 
by The Tappan Company.
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it. --- Bill Nye ______________________________________________________ Two priests and a rabbi are playing poker in the park. Suddenly, a police officer approaches the trio and asks the first priest, "Father, were you gambling?" The padre glances skyward and mumbles, "Forgive me, Jesus," then turns to the officer and says, "No, my son, I was not gambling." The lawman then turns to the second priest and asks him if he was gambling. The priest looks toward Heaven and says under his breath, "Forgive me, Jesus," then tells the officer, "No, my son, I was not gambling." The policeman then turns to the rabbi and says, "Rabbi, were you gambling?" The rabbi looks from one priest to the other, then turns to the officer and asks, "With who?" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Minister at a funeral service, "Friends, let us say goodbye to our beloved, departed friend. Let us remember that here lies only the shell--the nut has gone!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Lise When we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically that my sons make their beds each morning. I left for work before they left for school, and I wanted to be sure that the house looked presentable when the agent showed it to prospective buyers. I was surprised and impressed that my 15-year-old son's bed was perfectly made each day. One night when I went into his room, I discovered his secret. He was fast asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by Judy An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Helen Washington, 75, Brooklyn Center, Minnesota Woman shoots grandson for repeatedly putting cup of tea on her good furniture A Brooklyn Center woman faces assault charges after she allegedly shot her grandson in a dispute over a teacup. According to a report in the Star Tribune, 75-year-old Helen Washington shot the victim when he placed the cup on her furniture. She warned him not to put the cup there, and dumped the tea out. He got another cup of tea and again put it on the furniture. That's when she allegedly pulled out a gun and shot her grandson. She now faces second-degree assault charges. The incident happened Oct. 12 at Washington's Brooklyn Center home. The victim was shot in the thigh. She told police that she doesn't think she deserves to go to jail, according to the report. She has been released from Hennepin County Jail and is expected to make a court appearance in December. The real bonehead, though, is the grandson. From: Fran Re: Ink or Laser printer Dear Webby I know, you answered this years ago, but I forgot. What kind of printer should I get this time? I basically just print copies of bills I pay online. Thanks Fran Dear Fran If you don't print at least 3 times per week, you get ripped off with the drying out ink jets. If you print more than 3 times a week, then you get ripped off with exorbitant ink prices. Get a laser. Since you are just printing invoice receipts, you can get a cheap black laser. Black toner is really cheap and the cartridges last a long time. Laser toner does not dry out. It is already a dry powder. With a Laser you never come home from a vacation to find your printer dried out. A laser takes 10 seconds to warm up before the first print, but after that is much faster than an ink jet printer. Have FUN! DearWebby

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Manning the computer help desk for the local school district was my first job. And though I was just an intern, I took the job very seriously. But not every caller took me seriously. "Can I talk to a real person?" a caller asked. "I am real," I said. "Oh, I'm sorry," the caller said. "That was rude of me. What I meant to say was, could I talk to someone who actually knows something?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words: Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought my windows were down but I found out it was up when I put my head through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother- in-law and headed over the embankment. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprange up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car. I had been driving for 40 years when I feel asleep at the wheel and had an accident. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run so I ran over him. I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the hood of my car. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Thanksgiving Preparation One week prior, I buy all the canned goods, clean out the fridge, and start thawing the turkey. The day prior, I make most of the side dishes, desserts, and make one final grocery run. Then all I have to do on Thanksgiving is make the turkey. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
A breathtaking flower tunnel bursting with beautiful golden blossoms in Wales.
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this report: When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I was assigned as a temporary assistant in an administrative office in a Military Intelligence unit. One day, a long memo came around with a cover sheet instructing all assigned officers to read it and initial it as indication of their compliance. I figured it meant me too, so I read and initialed it. But, a few days later, it came back addressed specifically to me. An attached note read, "You are not permanently assigned to this unit and are thus not an authorized signee. Please erase your initials and initial your erasure." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue. Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home.

Today October 25 in
1415 In Northern France, England won the Battle of Agincourt over
France during the Hundred Years' War. Almost 6000 Frenchmen were
killed while fewer than 400 were lost by the English. 

1812 During the War of 1812, the U.S. frigate United States
captured the British vessel Macedonian. 

1854 The Charge of the Light Brigade took place during the
Crimean War. The British were winning the Battle of Balaclava
when Lord James Cardigan received an order to attack the
Russians. He took his troops into a valley and suffered 40
percent caualties. Later it was revealed that the order was the
result of confusion and was not given intentionally. 

1870 The first U.S. trademark was given. The recipient was the
Averill Chemical Paint Company of New York City. 

1917 The Bolsheviks (Communists) under Vladimir Ilyich Lenin
seized power in Russia. 

1929 Alber B. Fall, of U.S. President Harding's cabinet, was
found guilty of taking a bribe. He was sentenced to a year in
prison and fined $100,000. 

1951 In Panmunjom, peace talks concerning the Korean War resumed
after 63 days. 

1955 The microwave oven, for home use, was introduced by The
Tappan Company. 

1958 U.S. Marines withdrew from Beirut, Lebanon. They had been
sent in on July 25, 1958, to protect the nation's pro-Western
government. 

1960 The Accutron watch by the Bulova Watch Company was
introduced. 

1962 U.S. Ambassador Adlai Stevenson presented photographic
evidence to the United Nations Security Council. The photos were
of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 

1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and admit
mainland China. 

1983 U.S. troops and soldiers from six Caribbean nations invaded
Grenada to restore order and provide protection to U.S. citizens
after a recent coup within Grenada's Communist (pro-Cuban)
government. 

1990 It was announced by U.S. Defense Secretary Dick Cheney that
the Pentagon was planning to send 100,000 more troops to Saudi
Arabia. 

2000 AT&T Corp. announced that it would restructure into a family
of four separately traded companies (consumer, business,
broadband and wireless). 

2001 It was announced that scientists had unearthed the remains
of an ancient crocodile which lived 110 million years ago. The
animal, found in Gadoufaoua, Niger, grew as long as 40 feet and
weighed as much as eight metric tons. 

2018  smiled.


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Nigerian Scams 




Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, October 24

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Alabama mother charged after 5 children 
test positive for cocaine

______________________________________________________
Today, October 24 in
1939 Nylon stockings were sold to the public 
for the first time in Wilmington, DE. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. --- Garrison Keillor (1942 - ) ______________________________________________________5 Dear Ma and Pa: Am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for old man Minch. Tell them to join up quick before all the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m.( but am getting so I like to sleep late. All you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things -- no hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. The guys have to shave, but they say it is not bad in warm water, and after I thumped a few of them, they don't tell nobody about why I don't need to shave. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, beef, ham steak, fried eggplant, pie and regular food, but you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches," which, the Sgt. says, are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is a casual stroll about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys all get sore feet and we ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat. The Sgt. is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Kernels. and Generals just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why, the bull's-eye is near big as a chipmonk and don't move and it ain't shooting at you, like the Higsett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it, you don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer and Mary to hurry and join before others get onto this setup and come stampeding in. Your loving daughter, Pat ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Installation Commander and his wife were out having dinner at the officers club a good-looking blonde came over and open-mouth kissed the husband right in front of the wife and said "I'll see you tomorrow for a nooner right sweetie?" And walked away. The wife couldn't believe her eyes, "Who was that?" She demanded. He replied: "My mistress" The wife then told her husband she wanted a divorce. "That's fine," Said the base commander. "But that means no more shopping at the commissary and base exchange, no more assignments in Europe, and you'll no longer be president of the Officer's Wives Club, and won't be able to lord it over the other wives." At that moment in walked a colonel with a woman on his arm. When the wife asked who the woman with the colonel was the base commander said, "That's Peter's mistress" The wife looked back at colonel and his mistress and grinned, "Ours is prettier." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Great Comeback This has got to be the all-time classic comeback. This is a recount of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who's about to sponsor a boy scout troop visiting his military installation. (Note: While this has been presented as a "true story" for several years, some people dispute that it actually happened). FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?" GENERAL REINWALD: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting." FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?" GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range." FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?" GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how, ....we will be teaching them proper rifle range discipline before they ever touch a firearm." FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers." GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you? The radio went silent and the interview ended. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Darlene Mullen wore the stolen jacket when she arrived at court to be sentenced for other shoplifting charges Darlene Mullen,26, from Perth, Scotland Woman arrested for stealing Primark coat on her way to shoplifting court case A shoplifter has been arrested after she stole a coat from Primark on her way to court. Darlene Mullen from Perth, Scotland, was wearing the stolen jacket when she arrived at court to be sentenced for other shoplifting charges. The 26-year-old was caught on camera asking staff at the court to help her remove the security tag from the coat. Solicitor David Holmes, defending Darlene, asked Perth Sheriff Court to give her a community sentence and said she was on the right track and was dealing with her criminal behaviour. But Sheriff Lindsay Foulis said: ‘Let me stop you right there. She was supposed to be here at 10am on 19 September to be sentenced by my brother sheriff for shoplifting. ‘At 10.25am she stopped off on her way here to steal a coat from Primark. You can hardly tell me that is her being on the right track.’ He said he had no option but to jail Darlene after she admitted stopping off to steal the coat from Primark after being caught cold during Storm Ali last month. She had already been spotted on CCTV and was recognised by her distinctive red wellington boots before she was arrested on the court steps. The court was told last month that she was unable to appear because she had been arrested a short time before her case called. She then appeared from custody and admitted stealing clothing from Primark on 19 September, while she was on bail. She also admitted being in possession five wraps of heroin worth around £100 when she was arrested. Fiscal depute Carol Whyte told the court: ‘The item was valued at £25.. When the accused was arrested at court she was wearing the jacket. ‘Although it was not in a re-saleable condition, I doubt she still has it.’ Co-accused Natalie Radunski, 22, also appeared from custody alongside Darlene and admitted stealing items of clothing from Primark. A court source said: ‘It takes some nerve to stop off on the way to court to steal a jacket because you haven’t dressed warm enough to cope with the storm. ‘It was absolutely tipping down when they arrived at court and Darlene hadn’t even taken the label and price tag off the jacket she had stolen. “To hand the tags over to the security staff on the door at the court might not have been the brightest idea she ever had. ‘There was already an alert out for her after she was spotted leaving Primark and her bright red wellies made it pretty easy for the police to identify her.’ Natalie, also of Nimmo Place, Perth, was jailed for four months yesterday. From: Eric Re: Nigerian Scams Dear Webby I can't believe that people are still falling for these Nigerian Scams. Do you recommend forwarding them to the FTC as well as getting them over to Spam Cop? Eric Dear Eric They still fall for Hillary too. And Pelosi. FTC is a total waste of time. They pick one or two celebrity cases a year, and with all the other complaints they just make pretty graphs. SpamCop is sometimes effective, in that they complain to the ISP of the sender. Some ISPs stomp on them. They come onto Facebook too, and claim to have some good news for you. Whenever you see that phrase "good news" or that you have won, or that there is money for you, dump and block. They all promise something ridiculous, but first you have to sign up with their "lawyer" and pay a fee. The technical term is 419 (advance fee). Totally illegal. But since the crooks are hiding in Nigeria, not much happens to them. I read that 39% of the Nigerian GDP is from 419 scams. Just dump and block. No point wasting time on them. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Murals Inlet, S.C., bills itself as the "Seafood Capital of South Carolina." It has so many seafood restaurants that it is hard to decide which one to choose. My wife and I were trying to do just that when we came upon, of all things, a steakhouse. It seemed busy, perhaps because it had adapted to its environment. A sign out front read: "Catch of the Day -- COW!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I'm a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for visually impaired adults. Many participants have a condition known as macular degeneration, which makes it difficult for them to distinguish facial features. I had just been assigned to a new group and was introducing myself. Knowing that many in the group would not be able to see me well, I jokingly said, "For those of you who can't see me, I've been told that I look like a cross between Paul Newman and Robert Redford." Immediately, one woman called out, "We're not THAT blind!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Make Your Own Chip Bags Rather than buy the more expensive little bags, just buy a large bag and transfer them to smaller bags yourself. This works well for school and work lunches and dieting. Large bags of chips tend to be much cheaper than the smaller pre-packaged alternative. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Barkcloth, a fabric made from Fig trees.
___________________________________________________ A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?" The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife and her mother." "What's he stuffed with?" asked the visiting hunter. "My mother-in-law" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A guy took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into a secluded area around midnight, the girl said, "My mother told me to say no to everything." "Well," he said, "do you mind if I put my arm around you?" "Uhhh . . . no," the girl replied. "Do you mind if I put my other hand on your leg?" "N-n-no," the girl stammered. "You know," Barry said, "We're going to have a lot of fun if you're on the level about this."

Today October 24 in
1648 The Holy Roman Empire was effectively destroyed by the Peace
of Westphalia that brought an end to the Thirty Years War. 

1795 The country of Poland was divided up between Austria,
Prussia, and Russia. 

1836 Alonzo D. Phillips received a patent for the phosphorous
friction safety match. 

1861 The first transcontinental telegraph message was sent when
Justice Stephen J. Field of California transmitted a telegram to
U.S. President Lincoln. 

1901 Daredevil Anna Edson Taylor became the first person to go
over Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. She was 63 years old. 

1929 In the U.S., investors dumped more than 13 million shares on
the stock market. The day is known as "Black Tuesday." 

1931 The upper level of the George Washington Bridge opened for
traffic between New York and New Jersey. 

1939 Nylon stockings were sold to the public for the first time
in Wilmington, DE. 

1940 In the U.S., the 40-hour workweek went into effect under the
Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938. 

1945 The United Nations (UN) was formally established less than a
month after the end of World War II. 

1948 The term "cold war" was used for the first time. It was in a
speech by Bernard Baruch before the Senate War Investigating
Committee. 

1960 All remaining American-owned property in Cuba was
nationalized. The process of nationalizing all U.S. and foreign-
owned property in Cuban had begun on August 6, 1960. That act did
not go over well in the US.

1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, U.S. military forces went
on the highest alert in the postwar era in preparation for a
possible full-scale war with the Soviet Union. The U.S. blockade
of Cuba officially began on this day. 

1969 Richard Burton bought his wife Elizabeth Taylor a 69-carat
Cartier diamond ring for $1.5 million. Burton presented the ring
to Taylor several days later. 

1986 Britain broke off relations with Syria after a Jordanian was
convicted in an attempted bombing. The evidence in the trial led
to the belief that Syria was involved in the attack on the
Israeli jetliner. 

1992 The Toronto Blue Jays became the first non-U.S. team to win
the World Series. 

2001 The U.S. House of Representatives approved legislation that
gave police the power to secretly search homes, tap all of a
person's telephone conversation and track people's use of the
Internet. 

2001 The U.S. stamp "United We Stand" was dedicated. 

2001 NASA's 2001 Mars Odyssey spacecraft successfully entered
orbit around Mars. 

2002 Microsoft Corp. and Walt Disney Co. announced the release of
an upgraded MSN Internet service with Disney content. 

2003 In London, the last commercial supersonic Concorde flight
landed.

2018  smiled.


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Pictures in wrong format 




Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, October 23

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Man ate Tide Pod then destroyed $7,500 
of hospital equipment

______________________________________________________
Today, October 23 in
1929 In the U.S., the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged
starting the stock-market crash that began the Great Depression.
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) CNN is one of the participants in the war. I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected president but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. --- Arthur C. Clarke Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather. --- Michael Pritchard ______________________________________________________ "Hubby Pie" Can be prepared 20 years ahead. Ingredients: Crust: 1 hard-skinned hubby 1 comfortable sofa Filling: 1 TV remote control 6 pack of beer 1 packet chips (crisps) 1 family size pizza 1 large serve nacho 1 melted cheese sandwich 15 years patience lifetime of loving care 1 ounce of resignation Method: Cram one thick-skinned hubby into a well worn greased and comfortable sofa and leave to set (probably will take length of one sport show), remove from family room and bring to kitchen to finish filling. Mix TV remote control, chip packet, pizza, hotdog, nachos and cheese sandwich on a large tray. Add six pack of beer slowly (to avoid excess gas), bind with a lot of patience, loving care and resignation. Be careful to place hubby and filling carefully back in front of the TV so as not to disturb the view of the screen and leave to solidify indefinitely. Head back to your computer and have a marvellous time chatting with your online friends UNDISTURBED!!! (Or, go SHOPPING!) ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you." Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot, "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes", said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot, "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus." (Rottweilers let burglars in and do what they want, but won't let them leave.) _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A new employee joins the Company, and is required to have a password setup for his computer. The boss directed a secretary to setup the password for him. The secretary asks the man for the password. The man, attempting to embrass the secretary in order to show superiority, said, "Penis." Blushed, the secretary, who knew what to expect, typed the password Penis, and re-typed it again. Then she hit enter. The whole office heard the secretary bursting out screaming laughters as a reaction from the computer's screen: "Password rejected. Reason: Too short" ______________________________________________________ Pennsylvania _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Justin Foster, 28, Tallahassee Florida Florida man accused of flying to Illinois, cutting off penis of ex's new boyfriend A Tallahassee man was jailed in Illinois and held on a $1 million bond after he reportedly flew to Chicago to confront the new boyfriend of his ex-girlfriend, the Chicago Tribune reported. Justin Foster, 28, is charged with attempted murder. He reportedly went to Atlanta and caught a flight to Chicago, where he rented a car and located a man who is allegedly dating Foster's ex-girlfriend. Foster is accused of hitting the man over the head with a tire iron before carving his initials into the man's leg. He then cut off the man's penis and threw it over a fence before leaving him in a pool of blood. The man survived, news outlets reported, but is left with permanent brain damage. A prosecutor was quoted in the Tribune and argued against granting bond to Foster: “We’re talking about a very heinous crime here," Assistant State’s Attorney Luis Muniz said. "A monetary bond is not appropriate.” From: Fred Re: Pictures saved in wrong format Dear Webby Quick question--- When ever I right click and save as--- to a gif- it comes up as save as a bitmap-- Whats up with that??? Im using hot mail. Fred Dear Fred That is a sign that you don't have enough free and unused memory available for Windows to do it properly, so, in order not to completely lose the file, it saves it as a BMP. Running CrapClener or rebooting usually restores enough free memory so that it will again save pictures properly. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no? 2. How many birthdays does the average man have? 3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28? 4. How many outs are there in an inning? 5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister. 6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get? 7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with? 8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last? 9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left? 10. How many animals of each sex did Moses bring with him on the ark? 11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh? 12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen? 13. What was the President's name in 1960? =============================================== So how do you think you did in that quiz? Here are the answers.... 1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or No? Yes. It comes right after the 3rd. 2. How many birthdays does the average man have? One (1). You can only be born once. 3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28? Twelve (12). All of them have at least 28 days. 4. How many outs are there in an inning? Six (6). Don't forget there is a top and bottom to every inning. 5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? No. If she is a widow, he is dead. 6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get? Seventy (70). Thirty (30) divided by 1/2 is 60. 7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with? Two (2). You take two apples...therefore, YOU have TWO apples. 8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half and hour. How long will the pills last? One hour. If you take the first pill at 1:00, the second at 1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have run out and only an hour has passed. 9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left? Nine (9). like I said, all BUT nine die. 10. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on his ark? None. I didn't know that Moses had an ark. 11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh? Meat...that is self-explanatory. 12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen? Twelve (12). How many eggs are in a dozen? TWELVE...it's a dozen! 13. What was the President's name in 1960? Donald Trump. As far as I know, he hasn't changed his name.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. "Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out. "To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture. A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word and then continued. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Keeping Brown Sugar Soft Cleaning Walls Use a long handled sponge mop to clean your walls. It makes it easier to reach the high parts of your walls and it also can be used on ceilings. Be careful using a sponge mop on thick, popcorn textured ceilings or rough wall surfaces. It will quickly tear up the sponge. You have to protect everything with drop sheets (cheap plastic from paint supply stores). Then you can use a pressure washer and thoroughly clean textured ceilings. Pressure washers usually have a soap admixture tank, that you can fill with dish soap and set the strength, for example 2 drops per gallon. You can rent pressure washers at Home Depot and even some grocery stores. Have FUN! DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
I'll bet she's popular at Halloween!
___________________________________________________ In one epsiode of "Cheers", Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here it is, for your enjoyment: "Well, you see Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it is the lowest and weakest onles at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and heald of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A sergeant was passing the barracks after lights out, when he heard some voices from inside. He slammed open the door, and screamed: Listen, you guys! A few minutes ago, you all heard me say good night. What you must realize, is that when I say "Good Night," what I really mean is "Shut up!!!" The room instantly fell silent. But after a few seconds, a small voice could be heard from somewhere in the far back of the dark room: "Good Night, Sergeant"

Today October 23 in
1864 During the U.S. Civil War, Union forces led by Gen. Samuel
R. Curtis defeated the Confederate forces in Missouri that were
under Gen. Stirling Price. 

1910 Blanche S. Scott became the first American woman to make a
public solo airplane flight in the United States. 

1915 Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to vote with a
march in New York City, NY. 

1929 In the U.S., the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged
starting the stock-market crash that began the Great Depression. 

1942 During World War II, the British began a major offensive
against Axis forces at El Alamein, Egypt. 

1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf began. 

1946 The United Nations General Assembly convened in New York for
the first time. 

1956 Hungarian citizens began an uprising against Soviet
occupation. On November 4, 1956 Soviet forces enter Hungary and
eventually suppress the uprising. 

1956 NBC broadcasted the first videotape recording. The tape of
Jonathan Winters was seen coast to coast in the U.S. 

1958 Russian poet and novelist Boris Pasternak was awarded the
Nobel Prize for literature. He was forced to refuse the honor due
to negative Soviet reaction. Pasternak won the award for writing
"Dr. Zhivago". 

1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, the U.S. naval "quarantine"
of Cuba was approved by the Council of the Organization of
American States (OAS). 

1962 The U.S. Navy reconnaissance squadron VFP-62 began
overflights of Cuba under the code name "Blue Moon." 

1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and seat
Communist China. 

1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon agreed to turn over the
subpoenaed tapes concerning the Watergate affair. 

1978 China and Japan formally ended four decades of hostility
when they exchanged treaty ratifications. 

1985 U.S. President Reagan arrived in New York to address the
U.N. General Assembly. 

1989 Hungary became an independent republic, after 33 years of
Soviet rule. 

1992 Japanese Emperor Akihito became the first Japanese emperor
to stand on Chinese soil. 

1995 Russian President Boris Yeltsin and U.S. President Bill
Clinton agree to a joint peacekeeping effort in the war-torn
Bosnia. 

1998 Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian
Chairman Yasser Arafat reach a breakthrough in a land-for-peace
West Bank accord. 

1998 Japan nationalized its first bank since World War II. 

2000 Universal Studios Consumer Products Group (USCPG) and Amblin
Entertainment announced an unprecedented and exclusive three-year
worldwide merchandising program with Toys "R" Us, Inc. The deal
was for the rights to exclusive "E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial"
merchandise starting in fall 2001. The film was scheduled for re-
release in the spring of 2002. 

2001 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft began orbiting Mars. In 2010,
it became the longest-operating spacecraft ever sent to Mars. 

2018  smiled.


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Crap Cleaner and AdAware 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, October 22

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Man ate Tide Pod then destroyed $7,500 
of hospital equipment

______________________________________________________
Today, October 22 in
1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded 
parachute jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Rob Delaney, Twitter People with courage and character always seem sinister to the rest. --- Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962) When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. --- Japanese Proverb ______________________________________________________ Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store. Pete said to the salesman, "We really like it, but I don't think we can afford it." The salesman said, "You just make a small down payment, and then you don't make another payment for six months." Gladys wheeled around with her hands on her hips and said, "Who told you about us?" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon." Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for them a couple of days ago." Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she asked about?" "Rapes in the parking lot." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Vickey for this story: According to my mother, she and my dad decided to start a family soon after he became an officer in the Air Force. When months went by without success, they consulted the base physician, who chose to examine my mom right then and there. "Please disrobe," he told her. "With him in the room?" she yelled, pointing to my father. Turning to my dad, the doctor said, "Captain, I think I found the problem." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brandon McVay, 26, Council Bluffs, Iowa. Man ate Tide Pod then destroyed $7,500 of hospital equipment A man ate a Tide Pod then destroyed $7,500 worth of hospital equipment during an ‘out of control’ hospital rampage, court documents say. Brandon McVay, 26, began ‘yelling loudly’ while smashing four computer screens during treatment for swallowing the detergent capsule at Mercy Hospital in Council Bluffs, Ia., it is claimed. His alleged spree of destruction began while hospital staff were treating him on October 4, and saw McVay trash both his own hospital room and a hallway, police say. McVay was finally brought under control when police arrived at the hospital, pinned him to the ground and placed him under arrest, the Omaha World Herald reported. A police report noted that the building was strewn with smashed computer equipment and debris. McVay was charged with second-degree criminal mischief and has been freed on $5,000 bail.
From: Carolyn Re: Crap Cleaner and Ad Aware Dear Webby I run Ad-aware once a week. If I install Crap Cleaner will I have a problem? Seem like some programs are not compatible with it. Thanks- you are always helpful!!! Carolyn Dear Carolyn Should be no problem at all. They go after totally different things and Crap Cleaner exits cleanly after doing it's work. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Kate goes over to visit one of her friends. While she is at her friend's house it starts to rain very heavily. Her friend tells her to spend the night at her house and go home the next day. When she hears this, Kate rushes out the door and comes a while later totally drenched and carrying a small shopping bag. So her friend asks "Where did you run off too?" "I went home to get my pajamas!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From today, 18 years ago: The two major party presidential candidates today agreed that Americans are seeing too much inappropriate material in popular entertainment. However, they disagreed on the details. The Republican candidate, George W. Bush, stated that there is too much bloody violence in the movies and on television. Vice President Al Gore, his Democratic opponent, stated meanwhile that the media present Americans with too much sex and frontal nudity. In other words, Bush says there is too much gore and Gore says there is too much bush. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Keeping Brown Sugar Soft Here is my tip for keeping brown sugar moist. Use marshmallows! You can use bread, but bread gets moldy and then you have to replace it. Not so with marshmallows! By Elaine S. from near Cedar Rapids, IA Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Hearst Castle,the unbelievably opulent home built for an infamous newspaperman.
___________________________________________________ The software engineering field is staffed primarily by men; the ratio of male to female software engineers is on the order of 15 to 1. This makes it pretty easy for women to find potential mates among their peers. However, software types have a well-earned reputation for being... a little strange. While discussing the prospect of working in the software industry, one woman commented to another: "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." One look at W10 would convince anybody that she has a point! ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Cajun Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day an he done run outa night crawlers. He be bout reddy to leave when he seen a snake wit a big frog in his mouf. He knowed dat dem big bass fish like frogs, so he decided to steal dat froggie. Dat snake, he be a cotton moufed water moccasin so he had to be real careful or he'd get bit. He snuk up behine de snake and grabbed him roun de haid. Dat ole snake din't lak dat one bit. He squirmed and wrapped hisself roun Boudreaux's arm try'n to get hisself free. But Boudreaux, him, had a real good grip on his haid, yeh. Well, Boudreaux pried his mouf open and got de frog and puts it in his baitcan. Now, Boudreaux knows dat he cain't let go dat snake or his gonna bite him good, but he had a plan. He reach into de back pocket of his bib overhauls and pulls out a pint a moonshine likker. He pour some drops into de snakes mouf. Well, dat snake's eyeballs roll back in his haid and his body go limp. Wit dat Boudreaux toss dat snake into de bayou. Den he goes back to fishin'. A while later Boudreaux dun feel sumpin tappin' on his barefoot toe. He slowly look down and dare dat water moccasin was with two more frogs.

Today October 22 in
1746 The College of New Jersey was officially chartered. It later
became known as Princeton University. 

1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute
jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet. 

1836 Sam Houston was inaugurated as the first constitutionally
elected president of the Republic of Texas. 

1844 This day is recognized as "The Great Disappointment" among
those who practiced Millerism. The world was expected to come to
an end according to the followers of William Miller. 

1879 Thomas Edison conducted his first successful experiment with
a high-resistance carbon filament. 

1907 The Panic of 1907 began when depositors began withdrawing
money from many New York banks. 

1939 The first televised pro football game was telecast from New
York. Brooklyn defeated Philadelphia 23-14. 

1954 The Federal Republic of Germany was invited to join the
North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). 

1962 U.S. President Kennedy went on radio and television to
inform the United States about his order to send U.S. forces to
blockade Cuba. The blockade was in response to the discovery of
Soviet missile bases on the island. 

1968 Apollo 7 splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean. The spacecraft
had orbited the Earth 163 times. 

1975 Air Force Technical Sergeant Leonard Matlovich was
discharged after publicly declaring his homosexuality. His
tombstone reads " "A gay Vietnam Veteran. When I was in the
military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge
for loving one." 

1979 The ousted Shah of Iran, Mohammad Riza Pahlavi was allowed
into the U.S. for medical treatment. He had originally been
installed in Iran by the CIA, but eventually fell out of favor.

1981 The Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization was
decertified by the federal government for its strike the previous
August. 

1983 At the Augusta National Golf Course in Georgia, an armed man
crashed a truck through front gates and demanded to speak with
U.S. President Ronald Reagan. 

1986 U.S. President Reagan signed the Tax Reform Act of 1986 into
law. 

1991 The European Community and the European Free Trade
Association agreed to create a free trade zone of 19 nations by
the year 1993. 

1998 Pakistan's carpet weaving industry announced that they would
begin to phase out child labor. 

1999 China ended its first-ever human rights conference in which
it defied Western definitions of civil liberties. 

2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 million applications
downloaded. 

2010 The Internation Space Station set the record (3641 days) for
the longest continuous human occupation of space. It had been
continously inhabited since November 2, 2000.

2018  smiled.


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Filter to get rid of foreign spam 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, October 21

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

South Carolina teen accused of shooting 
at road sign, accidentally killing a Marine 
on his front porch

______________________________________________________
Today, October 21 in
1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words 
per minute on a manual typewriter. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
People might not get all they work for in this world, but they must certainly work for all they get. --- Frederick Douglass (1817 - 1895) ______________________________________________________ "Look at ME!" boasted the fit old man to a group of young people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups, do fifty sit-ups, and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women!" He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my 95th birthday!" "Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers, "How?" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ He loved living in Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy about the ferry. Miss a ferry late at night, and you have to spend the next hour or so wandering the deserted streets of lower Manhattan. So when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from the dock, he decided he wouldn't subject himself to an hour's wait. He made a running leap and landed on his hands and knees, a little bruised maybe, but safe on deck. He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to a bystander, "Well, I made that one, didn't I?' "Sure did," the bystander said. "But you should have waited a minute. The ferry is just about to dock." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ On a recent evening a family sat in a darkened theater waiting to see the latest hit movie. As the screen lit up with a flashy ad for the theater's concession stand, they noticed the sound was missing. The unexpected silence continued for several moments. Then out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd demanded, "Okay, who's siting on the remote?" ______________________________________________________ Senators at the dump road If you want to see thousands of them, go to "Council Flats" in Haines, Alaska. They snag dead salmon drifting down the river, fly up to some tree and eat it, then sit there waiting until it is digested, then they go get another salmon. With a Million salmon going up river to spawn and die, you can watch that for 3 - 4 weeks. There are lots of bears there too. They grab live salmon heading up river. You can take pictures from safe pull-outs on the Haines Road. It is maybe not too late to reserve a hotel room for October 2021. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Eason Reid Gravley, 17, Greenwood County, South Carolina South Carolina teen accused of shooting at road sign, accidentally killing Marine on his front porch A South Carolina teenager is accused of firing a gun at a road sign and accidentally shooting and killing a Marine on his porch. The State newspaper reported 17-year-old Eason Reid Gravley faces charges of involuntary manslaughter and possession of a handgun in connection to the death of 48-year-old Joe Darius Black. The suspect allegedly fired the gun at about 11:30 p.m. Wednesday in Greenwood County, fatally hitting the victim in the chest. The bullet “passed through or by the road sign” and into a wooded area near Black’s home, according to deputies. Black leaves behind a wife and four children. He retired from the U.S. Marine Corps after serving 20 years.
From: Coral Re: Need a filter for foreign spam Dear Webby That trick was slick! It catches 2-3 spams every single download, and never a false alarm like with those long and convoluted ones from those paid subscriptions! I love it! Got any more gems like that? I need one for catching Russian or Asian spam. Coral Dear Coral Glad you like it! OK, here is another one like that: I call it base64 Mark for blacklisting Mark for Deleting On Process ANY rules If the Entire header -- contains -- base64 If the Entire header -- contains -- iso-9959-1 If the body -- contains -- Content-Transfer-Encoding: base64 Keep it red and visible or a month to see if you get any false alarms. I haven't had any false alarms and made it invisible. For those who are new to MailWasher: You can give each filter a long and descriptive name and also a short status name that shows up in the list with the spam that it caught. You can choose the color for the status name. I use different shades of red for new filters that I am still testing and watching, sh*t brown for spam filters that have proven themselves to be reliable, green for friends, so that even if they jokingly use typical spam words, they won't get dumped, and blue for business contacts and subscriptions. You can of course use any of 16 Million colors of your choice, whatever colors make the most sense for you. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
God created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 40 years." The mule answered, "To live like this for 40 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was so. Then God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 30 years." And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 30 years as a dog is too much. Please, no more than 15 years." And it was so. God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are Monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years." And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years." And it was so. Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years." And the man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected." And it was so. And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 20 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like a clown to amuse his grandchildren.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
**BEEP** You have reached the Breast Cancer Self-Examination Hotline. Press one to continue. (pause) Now, press the other one. **BEEP** ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Shop at Antique Malls or Flea Markets When you are shopping for Christmas, don't overlook antique malls and flea markets. You can find some unique and unusual gifts that you can't find elsewhere (or make yourself) for a variety of prices, even as cheap as a few dollars! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Ontario's Allan Gardens Conservatory
___________________________________________________ A woman comes home one day and says to her dead-beat husband, "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 a.m. start, 2 p.m. finish, no over- time, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!" "That's great," her husband says. "Yeah, I thought so, too," she agrees. "You start Monday." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Four mothers were having coffee together discussing (bragging) how important their children are. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'." The third catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'." The fourth woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well.....?" She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2", hard-bodied, male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, the women say, 'Oh my God'"

Today October 21 in
1797 "Old Ironsides," the U.S. Navy frigate Constitution, was
launched in Boston's harbor. 

1805 The Battle of Trafalgar occurred off the coast of Spain. The
British defeated the French and Spanish fleet. 

1858 The Can-Can was performed for the first time in Paris. 

1879 Thomas Edison invented the electric incandescent lamp. It
would last 13 1/2 hours before it would burn out. 

1917 The first U.S. soldiers entered combat during World War I
near Nancy, France. 

1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words per
minute on a manual typewriter. 

1925 The photoelectric cell was first demonstrated at the
Electric Show in New York City, NY. 

1925 The U.S. Treasury Department announced that it had fined
29,620 people for prohibition (of alcohol) violations. 

1927 In New York City, construction began on the George
Washington Bridge. 

1944 During World War II, the German city of Aachen was reduced
to rubble and captured by U.S. troops. 

1945 Women in France were allowed to vote for the first time. 

1950 Chinese forces invaded Tibet. 

1959 The Guggenheim Museum was opened to the public in New York.
The building was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. 

1967 Thousands of demonstrators marched in Washington, DC, in
opposition to the Vietnam War. 

1983 The Pentagon reported that 2,000 Marines were headed to
Grenada to protect and evacuate Americans living there. 

1986 The U.S. ordered 55 Soviet diplomats to leave. The action
was in reaction to the Soviet Union expelling five American
diplomats. 

1991 Jesse Turner, an American hostage in Lebanon, was released
after nearly five years of being imprisoned. 

1993 The play "The Twilight of the Golds" opened. 

1994 North Korea and the U.S. signed an agreement requiring North
Korea to halt its nuclear program and agree to inspections. 

1998 Cancer specialist Dr. Jane Henney became the FDA's first
female commissioner. 

2003 The U.S. Senate voted to ban what was known as partial birth
abortions. 

2003 North Korea rejected U.S. President George W. Bush's offer
of a written pledge not to attack in exchange for the communist
nation agreeing to end its nuclear weapons program.

2018  smiled.


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When a computer slows down 




Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, October 17

By the time you read this I will have had my October shots
into my eyeballs and will be stumbling around groping walls
and of course any females within reach. 
It is surprising what one can get away with while wearing 
dark glasses at the Eye Center. 
Some even grope back!

That means I won't be sending out newsletters or 
answering mail or Skype for 3 days.

Enjoy your vacation!

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

SC man shot cousin over potato chips

______________________________________________________
Today, October 17 in
1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY. It
was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Two paradoxes are better than one; they may even suggest a solution. --- Edward Teller (1908 - 2003) ______________________________________________________ Masculine, Feminine... Male or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of non- living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples: FREEZER BAGS They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons. TIRES Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated. HOT AIR BALLOONS Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt. SPONGES These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water. WEB PAGES Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on. TRAINS Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people. HOURGLASS An hourglass is female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom. HAMMERS Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around. THE REMOTE CONTROL Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Little Johnny's father was a pastor in a small church. One day, his father told Little Johnny that a very important bishop was coming and that he would be staying with them. Little Johnny became very excited and asked his father if he would get to meet him. His father thought about this and decided that he would let Little Johnny bring the bishop tea in the morning and wake him up. Little Johnny agreed to do this and was very excited. His father gave him instructions: first, knock on the door of the bishops room and then say to him "It's the boy, my Lord, it's time to get up." Little Johnny was very excited and rehearsed his lines repeating them over and over. Finally the day came and Little Johnny had learned all his lines. He went to the door and knocked. He was so excited and nervous though that his lines got mixed up and the boy said, "It's the Lord, my boy, and your time is up!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance team's response times. "Since we installed our new satellite navigation system," bragged the first one, "we cut our emergency response time by ten percent." The other paramedics nodded in approval. "Not bad," the second paramedic commented. "But by using a computer model of traffic patterns, we've cut our average ERT by 20 percent." Again, the other team members gave their congratulations, until the third paramedic said, "That's nothing! Since our ambulance driver passed the bar exam, we've cut our emergency response time in half!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ryan Dean Langdale, 19, Ruffin South Carolina SC man shot cousin over potato chips A South Carolina man was arrested and charged with attempted murder after shooting his cousin over a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips, according to news reports. Authorities in Colleton County took Ryan Dean Langdale, 19, into custody Wednesday after learning the details about the shooting of his 17-year-old cousin on Sept. 29, The Post and Courier reported. The shooting happened in Ruffin about 60 miles west of Charleston. Langdale first told investigators that the victim accidentally shot himself when he dropped a hunting rifle, according to the newspaper. But after undergoing surgery for the gunshot wound, the victim admitted to authorities that Langdale shot him over a bag of chips. “Do not touch my chips, or I’ll shoot you,” Langdale told his cousin, the Post reported, citing a sheriff’s incident report. Langdale then grabbed a rifle, pointed it at the victim and “the rifle went off,” the report said. Langdale was arrested and held on a $55,000 bail, according to the Post. He’s charged with attempted murder, using a firearm in a violent crime and obstructing justice, according to the newspaper. Salt and vinegar potato chips are easy to come by in Colleton County and the victim reportedly told investigators he never actually ate the chips.
From: Denise Re: Computer slowing down Dear Webby My computer slows down whenever I have 3-4 Windows open. I used to be able to have a dozen of then open without a problem. If i don't reboot it when it slows down, it stalls and hangs and I have to shut it off the hard way. I don't think it is infected, since I use Spybot and McAfee. What's the prescribed fix? Denise Dear Denise There seems to be a lot of that going around. Luckily there is an easy remedy. Get CrapCleaner from my tool box at http://webby.com/tools and run it. It is free, and it will make a huge difference. It has helped everybody to whom I recommended it. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
>Fron Eras It was a hectic day of running errands with my wife and son. As if the stress weren't enough, four-year-old Christopher insisted on asking questions about everything, told me how to drive better, and sang every song he knew. Finally, fed up with the incessant chatter, I made him an offer: "Christopher, if you'll be quiet for just a few minutes, I'll give you a quarter." It worked. But when we stopped for lunch, I unknowingly began to harp on him. "Christopher, sit up straight ... don't spill your drink ... don't talk with your mouth full." Finally he said seriously, "Dad, if you'll be quiet for just a few minutes, I'll give you a quarter."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, "How come after all these years we don't see you at services anymore?" The old man lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, Rabbi," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So, I figured that God is very busy and must've forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Cold Weather Bed Tip During cold weather, I put the fitted sheet on as usual then I put a blanket on and tuck it in. Another blanket goes on top of that one and then I proceed with the flat sheet and as many other blankets and quilts as we need. No need for an electric blanket! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Dazzling Quilts of 19th-Century British Soldiers Are Threaded With Mystery
___________________________________________________ Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!" "That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in the living room and tell me about it." "Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math, and 20 in science." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Hailey, 4, heard a thunderstorm rumbling overhead and asked her parents and grandparents to listen to it. After the thunder stopped, Hailey told everyone to be quiet for a minute and she began to pray and asked God to stop the thunder and lightning. Immediately after she said "Amen," another clap of thunder was heard. Hailey looked up towards heaven and said, "You're not listening!"

Today October 17 in
1739 Thomas Coram was granted a Royal Charter from George II so a
"hospital for the maintenance and education of exposed and
deserted young children" in London, England. 

1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY. It
was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War. 

1888 The first issue of "National Geographic Magazine" was
released at newsstands. 

1931 Al Capone was convicted on income tax evasion and was
sentenced to 11 years in prison. He was released in 1939. 

1933 Dr. Albert Einstein moved to Princeton, NJ, after leaving
Germany. 

1945 Colonel Juan Peron became the dictator of Argentina after
staging a coup in Buenos Aires. 

1973 The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC)
began an oil-embargo against several countries including the U.S.
and Great Britain. The incident stemmed from Western support of
Israel when Egypt and Syria attacked the nation on October 6,
1973. The embargo lasted until March of 1974. 

1978 U.S. President Carter signed a bill that restored full U.S.
citizenship rights to Confederate President Jefferson Davis. 

1979 Mother Teresa of India was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. 

1987 U.S. First Lady Nancy Reagan underwent a modified radical
mastectomy at Bethesda Naval Hospital in Maryland. 

1989 An earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter Scale hit the San
Francisco Bay area in California. The quake caused about 67
deaths, 3,000 injuries, and damages up to $7 billion. 

1994 Israel and Jordan initialed a draft peace treaty. 

1994 The Angolan government and rebels agreed to a peace treaty
that ended their 19 years of civil war. 

1997 The remains of revolutionary Ernesto "Che" Guevara were laid
to rest in his adopted Cuba, 30 years after his execution in
Bolivia. 

2000 In New York City, Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum opened to the
public. The 42nd Street location joined Tussaud's other
exhibitions already in London, Hong Kong, Amsterdam and Las
Vegas. 

2000 Patrick Roy (Colorado Avalanche) achieved his 448th victory
as a goalie in the NHL. Roy passed Terry Sawchuck to become the
record holder for career victories. 

2001 Israel's tourism minister was killed. A radical Palestinian
faction claimed that it had carried out the assassination to
avenge the killing of its leader by Israel 2 months earlier. 

2001 Pakistan placed its armed forces on high alert because of
troop movements by India in the disputed territory of Kashmir.
India said that the movements were part of a normal troop
rotation. 

2001 Italian priest Giuseppe "Beppe" Pierantoni was kidnapped by
the terrorist group the "Pentagon." He was released on April 8,
2002. 

2003 In the U.S., the Food and Drug Administration approved a
drug, known as memantine, to help people with Alzheimer's
symptoms. 

2003 In Taipei, Taiwan, construction crews finished 1,676-foot-
tall-building called Taipei 101. The building was planned to open
for business in 2004. 

2018  smiled.


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DSL speed dropping 




Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, October 16

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Arkansas man ate meth, pot during traffic 
stop and finked on himself

______________________________________________________
Today, October 16 in
1941 The Nazis advanced to within 60 miles of Moscow. Romanians
 entered Odessa, USSR, and began exterminating 150,000 Jews. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Two paradoxes are better than one; they may even suggest a solution. --- Edward Teller (1908 - 2003) ______________________________________________________ Keli: Anni, what exactly is an "oxymoron"? Anni: It's a phrase made up of contradictory terms, like "deafening silence". Keli: Oh, I get it. Like "Mr. Perfect"! ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture." The clerk looked at his picture closely. "It's okay," he reassured the man, "That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Wife: "Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish." Doctor: "Don't worry I can cure him." Wife: "I don't want him cured I want you to adjust him to get the movie channel." ______________________________________________________ The Stump, in the Tetons _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brian Lee Chadwell, 38, Bella Vista, Arkansas Arkansas Man Ate Meth, Pot During Traffic Stop and finked on himself A Pea Ridge man accused of beating his step-daughter with a spatula was arrested Monday (Oct. 8) after reportedly eating marijuana and methamphetamine during a traffic stop. Brian Lee Chadwell, 38, faces felony charges of two counts of possession of drug paraphernalia and tampering with physical evidence. Bella Vista police stopped Chadwell about 9 p.m. near Tanyard Creek for a broken brake light, according to a probable cause affidavit. Chadwell asked the officers for legal advice regarding a no contact order he’d received for allegedly hitting the girl, then said he’d eaten a small bag of marijuana and meth in order to destroy it, according to the affidavit. Chadwell added that he eats meth to get high, but doesn’t smoke or inject it. Chadwell asked officers to shoot him during processing, saying he was upset with himself. He said officers could say he tried to attack him, according to the affidavit. Chadwell was being held Thursday (Oct. 11) at the Benton County Jail on a $10,000 bond. He has a hearing set for Nov. 19 in Benton County Circuit Court. Chadwell is accused of beating his step-daughter with a spatula, a wooden spoon, and a stick covered in thorns, along with forcing her to sleep on the kitchen floor as punishment. He’s due Nov. 13 in Pea Ridge District Court on a misdemeanor charge of third-degree domestic battery. The girl’s mother, Jennifer Chadwell, was arrested in connection with permitting the abuse of a minor, a Class D felony. The report did not say what the teen required frequent punishment for, bhut she will be the responsibility of Child Services for the foreseeable future.
From: Barb Re: DSL speed dropping Dear Webby At home my connection speed keeps dropping to the point where I actually lose the connection. We use the same DSL provider as I have at work, but there the connection never drops. At home, it's OK when I am browsing, but if I am answering mail, especially if I get interrupted, it falls off. Is there a setting I should check and change? Thanks Barb Dear Barb Big Brother, the ISP, watches your activity, and if you are not really using your connection while you leisurely compose a lengthy email, they reduce your pipe and eventually cut it. They will gradually, and grudgingly, give it back to you when you are ready to send that email. You can use an FTP program that has a "Keep-Alive" feature to keep the connection open, and download three different pieces of music simultaneously when you need the connection again. You can watch how the 14 KB Keep-Alive speed cranks up to over 30 Mbps within a few seconds. You will then be able to use high speed until Big Brother detects that you have abandoned your computer and snuck off to the kitchen. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? Childrens' Views No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it always before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they're rich. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a dumpster.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate... what is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?" "Did you say 4?!?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Treat Credit Like Cash Make a commitment to pay as you go with credit cards this year. Don't wait until the last minute to buy gifts and plan your holiday budget carefully. You will feel much better during the holiday season if you aren't accumulating debt. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
What an amazing artist to see the animal spirit in stone and bring it out for the public!
___________________________________________________ I couldn't help overhearing a man at a nearby pay phone. "I know it's something you want," he said earnestly, "but I don't think tattoos are a good idea. And the same goes for body piercing. As long as you're living in my house, I think you should respect my wishes." I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly firmness. Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Mom, you're 75 years old! You don't NEED a tattoo!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from all of the refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously, "but it seems to me that I've blessed all this stuff before."

Today October 16 in
1701 The Collegiate School was founded in Killingworth, CT. The
school moved to New Haven in 1745 and changed its name to Yale
College. 

1793 During the French Revolution, Queen Marie Antoinette was
beheaded after being convicted of treason. 

1829 In Boston, MA, the first modern hotel in America opened. The
Tremont Hotel had 170 rooms that rented for $2 a day and included
four meals. 

1859 Abolitionist John Brown led a raid on Harper's Ferry, VA
(now located in West Virginia). 

1869 A hotel in Boston became the first in the U.S. to install
indoor plumbing. 

1916 Margaret Sanger opened the first birth control clinic in New
York City, NY. 

1923 Walt Disney contracted with M.J. Winkler to distribute the
Alice Comedies. This event is recognized as the start of the
Disney Company. 

1928 Marvin Pipkin received a patent for the frosted electric
light bulb. 

1941 The Nazis advanced to within 60 miles of Moscow. Romanians
entered Odessa, USSR, and began exterminating 150,000 Jews. 

1942 The ballet "Rodeo" premiered in New York City. 

1943 Chicago's new subway system was officially opened with a
ribbon cutting ceremony. 

1955 Mrs. Jules Lederer replaced Ruth Crowley in newspapers using
the name Ann Landers. 

1962 U.S. President Kennedy was informed that there were missile
bases in Cuba, beginning the Cuban missile crisis. 

1964 China detonated its first atomic bomb becoming the world's
fifth nuclear power. 

1967 NATO headquarters opened in Brussels. 

1970 Anwar Sadat was elected president of Egypt to succeed Gamal
Abdel Nassar. 

1973 Henry Kissinger and Le Duc Tho were named winners of the
Nobel Peace Prize. The Vietnamese official declined the award. 

1978 Poland's Karol Josef Wojtyla was elected Pope John Paul II. 

1982 China announced that it had successfully fired a ballistic
missile from a submarine. 

1987 Rescuers freed Jessica McClure from the abandoned well that
she had fallen into in Midland, TX. She was trapped for 58 hours.


1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush signed the Gramm-Rudman
budget reduction law that ordered federal programs be cut by
$16.1 billion. 

1993 The U.N. Security Council approved the deployment of U.S.
warships to enforce a blockade on Haiti to increase pressure on
the controlling military leaders. 

1994 German Chancellor Helmut Kohl was re-elected to a fourth
term. 

1997 Charles M. Schulz and his wife Jeannie announced that they
would give $1 million toward the construction of a D-Day memorial
to be placed in Virginia. 

2000 It was announced that Chevron Corp. would be buying Texaco
Inc. for $35 billion. The combined company was called Chevron
Texaco Corp. and became the 4th largest oil company in the world.


2002 It was reported that North Korea had told the U.S. that it
had a secret nuclear weapons program in violation of an 1994
agreement with the U.S. 

2002 The Arthur Andersen accounting firm was sentenced to five
years probation and fined $500,000 for obstructing a federeal
investigation of the energy company Enron. 

2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 billion television
episodes sold.

2018  smiled.


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Using a phone as a scanner 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, October 15

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Husband divorces wife after spotting her 
with another man on Google Maps

______________________________________________________
Today, October 15 in
1860 Grace Bedell, 11 years old, wrote a letter to presidential
candidate Abraham Lincoln. The letter stated that Lincoln would
look better if he would grow a beard. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes. --- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004) If you believe everything you read, better not read. --- Japanese Proverb ______________________________________________________ A church was preparing for Christmas services. The pastor decided he wanted a banner made for the entryway and had a parishioner call the sign company. The parishioner told the man on the phone the message he wanted and the dimensions needed for the entryway. The sign came back a few days later... "Unto Mary Jesus was born, six feet long and two feet wide." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After my fifth-graders studied the history of the Alamo, I gave them a test with this bonus question: "What was the famous battle cry that later helped spur on independence for Texans?" One student's response: "Remember the alimony!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The family had spent the day moving from their farmhouse into a new apartment house in town. Very early the next morning, the 5 1/2 -year-old ran into their bedroom to wake them up. Mom dressed him and told him to play and let them rest for a while longer. About 20 minutes later, he came running back."Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "Everybody has doorbells.... and they all work!" ______________________________________________________ Gullible Warming broke! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Divorcee Lima Peru Husband divorces wife after spotting her with another man on Google Maps The man was checking the best way to get to a bridge in the Peruvian capital city of Lima when he spotted a familiar figure, a news agency claims. He saw a woman sitting on a bench stroking the hair of a man who was lying with his head in her lap. He first recognised that the woman’s clothes were identical to those of his wife and then looked closer and realised it was her, according to local media. The photo, taken by a Google camera car, dated back to 2013 but the man confronted his wife with the Google Street View picture as evidence of her infidelity. And the couple, whose names have not been revealed, later divorced after the woman admitted to having had an affair. She was photographed with her lover on a bench by the city’s Puente de los Suspiros de Barranco – Bridge of Sighs of the Ravine. The man recently shared the photographs on Facebook where they made a big impression on users. San Pateste said: ‘What a small world it is… It would have been enough if she said to her husband that she did not love him any more.’ The photograph is one of a long line of bizarre images taken for the Google Maps and Google Street View online resources. They include people dressed as pigeons, an escaped convict, a couple having sex by their car, street robberies, and a woman giving birth.
From: Neil Re: Phone Scanner Dear Webby If Eva has a smart phone she can get a free scanner app from both google play store or a similar one for an I Phone. It will convert the picture to a pdf file suitable for email at no cost. I do this all the time. My scanner sits in the corner collecting dust. Neil Dear Neil Thanks for that info! Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates really well and I just act like I'm listening!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
We have a new kid in the office named Brian. Nice guy. Fresh out of college. So I was asking him about school the other day and he told me he belonged to a fraternity called Delta Upsilon. "Did you pledge in college?" he asked. I said, "Yeah, I belonged to 'I Tappa Kegga.'" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Organizing Email I treat email just like paper and don't let email pile up in my in box. I make sure I file all email into one of the folders I have created. I also create filters that automatically files email from certain people in the appropriate folder. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Photos of dogs enjoying Autumn.
___________________________________________________ A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be held against you, you don't have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss gramma." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
After a long day of listening to a Texan brag, a New Yorker decided to show the Texan the Empire State Building. When the Texan put down New York's well-known landmark by saying "Heck, that's nothing. In Texas, we have outhouses bigger than that!" The New Yorker responded, "You need them!"

Today October 15 in
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte began his exile on the remote island of
St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean. 

1860 Grace Bedell, 11 years old, wrote a letter to presidential
candidate Abraham Lincoln. The letter stated that Lincoln would
look better if he would grow a beard. 

1883 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down part of the Civil Rights
Act of 1875. It allowed for individuals and corporations to
discriminate based on race. 

1892 The U.S. government announced that the land in the western
Montana was open to settlers. The 1.8 million acres were bought
from the Crow Indians for 50 cents per acre. 

1945 Pierre Laval, the former premier of Vichy France, was
executed for treason. 

1946 Hermann Goering, a Nazi war criminal and founder of the
Gestapo, poisoned himself just hours before his scheduled
execution. 

1953 "Teahouse of the August Moon" opened on Broadway. It ran for
1,027 performances. 

1964 It was announced that Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev had
been removed from power. He was replaced with Alexei N. Kosygin. 

1983 U.S. Marines killed five snipers who had pinned them down in
Beirut International Airport. 

1984 The Freedom of Information Act was passed. 

1989 South African officials released eight prominent political
prisoners. 

1989 Wayne Gretzky, while playing for the Los Angeles Kings,
surpassed Gordie Howe's NHL scoring record of 1,850 career
points. 

1993 U.S. President Clinton sent warships to enforce trade
sanctions that had been imposed on Haitian military rulers. 

1993 South Africa's President F.W. de Klerk and African National
Congress President Nelson Mandela were named winners of the Nobel
Peace Prize for their efforts to end the apartheid system in
South Africa. 

1997 British Royal Air Force pilot Andy Green broke the land-
speed record by driving a jet-powered car faster than the speed
of sound. 

1997 The Cassini-Huygens mission was launched from Cape
Canaveral, FL. On January 14, 2005, a probe sent back pictures of
Saturn's moon Titan during and after landing. 

1998 The U.N. condemned the U.S. economic embargo on Cuba for the
seventh year in a row. 

2001 NASA's Galileo spacecraft passed within 112 miles of
Jupiter's moon Io. 

2011 Legoland Florida opened in Winter Haven, Florida. 

2018  smiled.


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Cheap scanner 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, October 14

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Ontario school teacher charged with 
sexually assaulting 10-year-old boy

______________________________________________________
Today, October 14 in
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman
forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of
England. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way. --- Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967) ______________________________________________________ Every revolutionary idea - in science, politics, art, or whatever - evokes three stages of reaction in a hearer: 1. It is completely impossible - don't waste my time. 2. It is possible, but it is not worth doing. 3. I said it was a good idea all along ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed I hadn't once lit up a cigarette. "Are you trying to kick the habit?" she asked. "No," I replied. "I have a cold, and I don't smoke when I'm not feeling well." "You know," she observed, "you'd probably live longer if you were sick more often." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ From ghoulies and ghosties and long leggety beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver them to us! ______________________________________________________ Fetch! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Krystal Wilson, 31 Ajax, Ontario Canadian school teacher charged with sexually assaulting 10-year-old boy Krystal Wilson, 31, was arrested by Canadian police after they investigated allegations made in relation to her job at Da Vinci Public School in Ajax, Ontario. The married teacher is accused of having an inappropriate relationship with a boy while she was teaching there from 2017 – 18, CTV reported. Wilson, who currently works at Roland Michener Public School, in Ajax, faces two counts of sexual assault and two counts of sexual interference. Durham District School Board confirmed a teacher had been put on leave. It said in a statement: ‘The DDSB is cooperating with the Durham Children’s Aid Society and the Durham Regional Police Service during their respective investigations. ‘We will continue to work with our community partners until this investigation is concluded.’ Wilson has worked as a model and singer in the past and has been featured in a promo for a radio station. She previously spoke about her love of teaching and music with website Smart Is So Sexy. Wilson said: ‘I am blessed to be an elementary school teacher. ‘Which allows me to not only impact our youth but share with them my passion for the arts.’ CTV added the teacher may also be known to students as Krystal Clunis and there were reports her singing name was Krystal Voice. Constable George Tudos urged anyone who had information to contact their regional police sexual assault unit. Wilson has been released on bail but as a condition she is not allowed to be in the presence of someone under 14 unless there is an adult aged at least 21 with them.
From: Eva Re: Scanner Dear Webby I need a new scanner. My old one left with my ex. I don't need to scan very often, maybe once every second or third month, just my prescription before faxing it to Costco. I never have to scan color or high res. I do have a Dell color laser printer. What do you recommend, that is just barely good enough but cheap? Eva Dear Eva I would recommend a Canon Pixma MG 3000 series. It is actually a printer combo, but because of their ridiculous ink cost, you would not want to use it for printing after the initial set-up. Because of the ink racket, they almost pay you to take the printer. With some looking around you can find them for under $30. I got one about 6 months ago for under $30 from NewEgg. Shipping included. I printed 2 pages during the setup, and none since. It theoretically communicates with the computer wia WiFi, but in my case it wouldn't do that without a lot of farting around. So I just used a USB cable and connected it to a machine, that had a free USB port. That worked instantly. My ancient 90's PSP communicates with it and scanning anything is easy. It has a scan utility included, but I have not needed it. In PSP I hit ALT Fitq the scan preview pops up, I shorten or adjust the size, and hit the scan button. That is all there is to it. The scan picture then pops up and I can annotate it and fax it. I really doubt that there is a cheaper and easier solution available. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, "Just think, Fred, we are ten dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand." "Good," my dad quickly replied. "Wash it again!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The old town blacksmith realised he couldn't work so hard anymore. He picked out strong young Bill Deville to become his apprentice. The old fellow was impatient and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told Bill, "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard." Bill is looking for a new apprenticeship. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Gas Tip: Change Your Commuting Habits If at all possible, change your work start time to avoid gridlock. Stop and go traffic hurts your gas mileage. Try to arrange car pools with co-workers to share the cost of commuting to work. Walk, bike or use public transportation to your intended location whenever possible. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Tribes react to Polar Bear clip from BBC's Planet Earth.
___________________________________________________ The Polish were upset because of their bad reputation. A group of them got together and approached a conference of Americans, Germans, and Japanese and asked for help on this matter. An American replied, "You must do something so the world will respect you. The Japanese are known for their technology and the Germans are known for their resourcefulness. We Americans have had respect since we helped win the World War against the other two. See, you need to do something world-famous." A German added, "Yes, he's right. Why don't you find a place in this world in need of a bridge that no one has dared build, build it, come back to us, and we will help publicize it." With that, the Polish set off to build their bridge. They designed it and worked six months and finally completed it. They then went back to report it to the group. The bridge was a beautiful bridge but it had one flaw: it was erected in the middle of the Sahara Desert. An American said, "No, no. See, that is why you have your reputation. There is no need for a bridge in the middle of the desert. Now go and dismantle it, and find a more strategic spot to erect it." The Polish returned to the conference in two weeks. One of the Japanese said, "Two weeks! It only took you two weeks to dismantle that bridge and build a new one??? That is amazing!!" To which a Polish man replied, "Well, not exactly. When we returned to the bridge we couldn't dismantle it because there were all these Italians fishing off it." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
So this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Give me two single whiskies" "Sure" the bartender replies, "do you want them both now or one at a time?" "Oh, both now" replies the guy, "one's for me and one's for my little friend here" and with that the guy pulls a three inch tall man out of his shirt pocket. The Bartender looked at the little man in amazement and asked, "Can he drink?" "Sure" replied the guy and with that the three inch tall man supped back his whiskey. "That's amazing" replied the bartender, "what else can he do? Can he walk?" With that the guy flips a quarter down to the other end of the bar and asks the little fella to get it. Sure enough, he runs down the bar and retrieves the coin, picks it up and jogs back to the guy. "That really is amazing" replied the bartender, "Can he talk?" "Of course" says the guy, "Hey Jim, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you called that witch-doctor a Dumbocrat Wanker."

Today October 14 in
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman
forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of
England. 

1879 Thomas Edison signed an agreement with Jose D. Husbands for
the sale of Edison telephones in Chile. 

1887 Thomas Edison and George E. Gouraud reached an agreement for
the international marketing rights for the phonograph. 

1888 In England, Louis Le Prince filmed the experimental film
"Roundhay Garden Scene." It is the oldest surviving motion
picture. 

1912 Theodore Roosevelt was shot while campaigning in Milwaukee,
WI. Roosevelt's wound in the chest was not serious and he
continued with his planned speech. William Schrenk was captured
at the scene of the shooting. 

1922 Lieutenant Lester James Maitland set a new airplane speed
record when he reached a speed of 216.1 miles-per-hour. 

1926 The book "Winnie-the-Pooh," by A.A. Milne, made its debut. 

1928 The first televised wedding took place in Des Plains, IL.
James Fowlkes and Cora Dennison were married in a radio studio. 

1930 Ethel Merman debuted on Broadway in "Girl Crazy." 

1933 Nazi Germany announced that it was withdrawing from the
League of Nations. 

1936 The first SSB (Social Security Board) office opened in
Austin, TX. From this point, the Board's local office took over
the assigning of Social Security Numbers. 

1943 The Radio Corporation of America finalized the sale of the
NBC Blue radio network. Edward J. Noble paid $8 million for the
network that was renamed American Broadcasting Company. 

1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel committed suicide rather
than face execution after being accused of conspiring against
Adolf Hitler and the execution that would follow. 

1944 During World War II, the Second British Parachute Brigade
liberated the city of Athens. 

1947 Over Rogers Dry Lake in Southern California, pilot Chuck
Yeager flew the Bell X-1 rocket plane and became the first
American to break the sound barrier. 

1954 C.B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments", starring Charlton
Heston, began filming in Egypt. The epic had a cast of 25,000
people. 

1960 U.S. presidential candidate John F. Kennedy first suggested
the idea of a Peace Corps. 

1961 "How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying" opened on
Broadway. 

1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis began. It was on this day that U.S.
intelligence personnel analyzing data discovered Soviet medium-
range missile sites in Cuba. On October 22 U.S. President John F.
Kennedy announced that he had ordered the naval "quarantine" of
Cuba. 

1964 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was awarded the Nobel Peace
Prize for his non-violent resistance to racial prejudice in
America. He was the youngest person to receive the award. 

1968 The first live telecast to come from a manned U.S.
spacecraft was transmitted from Apollo 7. 

1970 Anwar el-Sadat became president of Egypt following the death
of President Nasser. 

1972 In Iraq, oil was struck for the first time just north of
Kirkuk. 

1986 Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev charged that the U.S.
wanted to "bleed the Soviet Union economically" with the arms
race in space. 

1987 Jessica McClure, 18 months old, fell down an abandoned well
in Midland, TX. The rescue took 58 hours. 

2002 Britain stripped power from the Catholic and Protestant
politicians of Northern Ireland. Britain resumed sole
responsibility for running Northern Ireland. 

2018  smiled.


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Why are Thumbnails alone a bad idea? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, October 13

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Naked Tweaker Desecrated A Baptismal Font

______________________________________________________
Today, October 13 in
1943 During World War II, Italy switched sides, signed an
armistice with the Allies and declared war on Germany. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. --- Isaac Newton (1642 - 1727) A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. --- Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971) ______________________________________________________ There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again. The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage at the opening carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'" The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play, he's practicing his line over and over again. Finally, the time comes. The curtain goes up, the actor walks onto the stage, and with great passion delivers the line, "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress." The theatre erupts. The audience is screaming with laughter, but the director is steaming! "You bloody fool!" he cries. "You have ruined me!" The actor is bewildered, "What happened, did I forget my line?" "No!" screams the director. "You forgot the rose!" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A Rabbi, a Monk, and a lawyer are riding down the road when their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. Spotting a farmhouse they walk over and tell the farmer they need a place to stay the night while they wait for a tow. "I've got room in the house for two of you but someones gonna have to sleep in the barn." says the farmer. The Rabbi say's, "I've no problem with that, I'll go." He leaves. Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the Rabbi is there. He says, "Sir there is a pig in that barn; in my religion pigs are unclean, I cannot sleep under the same roof with a pig." The Monk speaks up and says, "I have no problem with pigs I'll go sleep in the barn." He leaves. Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the Monk is there. "Sir there is a cow in that barn; in my religion cows are sacred, I cannot sleep under the same roof with a cow. The lawyer responds, "I'll go sleep in the barn, I've got no religion." He leaves. Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the pig and the cow are standing there. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ 1. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity. 2. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 A.M. It could be a right number. 3. Think about this: No one ever says, "It's only a game," when his team is winning. 4. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a Nap. 5. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it. 6. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket. 7. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!) 8. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo. 9. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead. 10. No one ever ruined their eyes from looking at the bright side of things. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Isiah Hayes, 19, Daireus Ice, 22, Memphis, Tennessee Men indicted after mom finds video of 9-month-old being raped Two Tennessee men accused of raping a 9-month-old child and recording it has been indicted by a grand jury, according to WREG. The child’s mother reported the incident to police after she found videos of the crime on a cell phone, according to the Shelby County District Attorney’s Office. The suspects were later identified by police as Isiah Hayes, 19, and Daireus Ice, 22. In one of those videos, authorities say, one of the suspects was nude from the waist down and was touching himself while standing near the little girl. In another, the man was seen performing sex acts on the child, police said. The DA’s office told WHBQ that Ice was the one filming while Hayes allegedly assaulted the child. The child’s mother found the videos Oct. 14, 2016. A WREG article from February 2018 stated the mother was able to identify one of the suspects using social media. She then took all the information she had gathered to the police. Hayes was indicted on the aggravated rape of a child and especially aggravated sexual exploitation of a minor. Ice was indicted on the aggravated rape of a child/ criminal responsibility for the conduct of another and especially aggravated sexual exploitation of a minor.
From: Carolyn Re: Why are thumbnails so bad? Dear Webby If Thumbnails are so bad, why do the paint programs lety you make them? Carolyn Dear Carolyn Unless you use weird formats, that don't work on the net, like .PDP or .PSD, you can not restore a picture to the original size. Thumbnails ARE valuable, the same way as icons are. You use them to link to the full size picture, but you can not restore the original picture from an icon. That reminds me of this story: There was a noisy and demanding family reunion going on in a restaurant. They kept demanding all kinds of extras and were a royal pain in the nuisance for the waiter. He kept his composure, thinking he woud get a decent tip. They gave him a one dollar tip. After that they asked him to take a picture of them and take special care because some were close to dying and would not be alive at the next reunion. He fussed around and make them stand at attention for five minutes, and moved some of them around for a better composition. Then he took 3 pictures, carefully cutting their heads off. Thumbnails are the same thing. You better save the original under one name and the thumbnail under a different name. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a farmer. "Look at it this way." he said finally. "How would your wife carry on if you should die?" "Well..." drawled the weather-beaten man, "I don't reckon that'd be any concern of mine -- as long as she pretends to behave herself while I'm alive."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A real smooth talker who prided himself on being the ladies man finally met his match one night. The man had just learned that his father only had days to live and that he would inherit over ten million dollars. Overjoyed at the promised wealth, he celebrated at the local bar, where he just happened to see a drop dead gorgeous long legged woman. Of course, he couldn't wait to work his charms on her and indeed she was so interested in him, they went back to his house together. The next day she became his soon-to-be rich stepmother. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Frugal Toys - Deck of Cards Kids can play Go Fish, War, Old Maid, Crazy Eights, Solitaire, and other simple games. Cards can also be used to build card houses or to do magic tricks. Check out a book of card games at the library and kids can entertain themselves for hours. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
How to exterminate rats on an Island.
___________________________________________________ Sherry the secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you" "Sherry honey, why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once." "Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not sterile." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
There are three religious truths: 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters

Today October 13 in
1775 The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction of a
naval fleet. 

1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in
Washington, DC. The building became known as the White House in
after it was renovated and whitewashed after the Canucks set it
on fire in the war of 1812. Hence the name WHITE house,

1812 American forces were defeated at the Battle of Queenstown
Heights. The British victory effectively ended a further U.S.
invasion of Canada. 

1843 B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded by Henry
Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY. 

1854 The state of Texas ratified a state constitution. 

1943 During World War II, Italy switched sides, signed an
armistice with the Allies and declared war on Germany. 

1944 American troops entered Aachen, Germany, during World War
II. 

1944 During World War II, British and Greek advance units landed
at Piraeus. 

1951 In Atlanta, GA, a football with a rubber covering was used
for the first time. Georgia Tech beat Louisiana State 25-7. 

1953 An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel Bagno. 

1981 Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as the
new president one week after Anwar Sadat was assassinated. 

1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow of
the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega. The US kidnapped him
and brought him to the US for trial.

1992 A commercial flight record was set by an Air France
supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours and one
minute. 

1995 Walt Disney World Resort admitted its 500-millionth guest. 

1999 The U.S. Senate rejected the ratification of the
Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (CTBT). 

2010 Near Copiapó, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground in
San José Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days underground.


2018  smiled.


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Thumbnails instead of originals: Bad idea 




Good Morning, !

Today is Friday, October 12
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Thank you Norm!
I really appreciate your help!


home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Naked Tweaker Desecrated A Baptismal Font

______________________________________________________
Today, October 12 in
1492 Christopher Columbus, an Italian explorer, sighted Watling
Island in the Bahamas. He believed that he had found Asia while
attempting to find a Western ocean route to India. The same day
he claimed the land for Isabella and Ferdinand of Spain. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it. --- Mary Chase (1887 - 1973), Dream as if you'll live forever; Live as if you'll die today. --- James Dean ______________________________________________________ Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!" "IMPOSSIBLE !" said the groom broom. WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!!! ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Vickey for this story: This cowboy was out looking for a job one day. He stopped at a ranchers house to ask the rancher for a job. This rancher looks over the cowboy and thinks to himself, "Waal, he looks ok, 10 gallon hat, denim shirt, denim pants but he's wearing tennis shoes. Guess I'll see what he can do." So the rancher tells the cowboy. "OK, let's see what you can do. Go rope that calf over there and brand it." The cowboy has the calf branded before the little doggie knows what hit him. Well, the rancher is a bit impressed but still not too sure so he gives him another test. "Now break that there bronc", he points to a wild looking stallion in a corral. This cowboy saddles, and rides the bronc, wildest ride you've ever seen. After 5 minutes the bronc is so tired he settles down and the cowboy hand the rancher a tame horse. This rancher is IMPRESSED now. "OK, son you got the job. There's just one question I gotta ask you. You rope and ride real well and you look mostly like a cowboy except for them tennis shoes. Why don't you wear cowboy boots instead of tennis shoes?" The cowboy looks the rancher in the eye and says, "I would wear cowboy boots, but then people would think I was a gay trucker!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Boudreaux and Rodrigue are out in one of Louisiana's Cajun country swamps when Rodrigue falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. Boudreaux takes out his cell phone and calls 911 for help. "My friend is dead. He jus' pass out. What can I do?" The operator says in a calm soothing voice, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a long silence, then the operator hears a shot. Boudreaux's voice comes back on the line. "Otay," he says. "Now what?" ______________________________________________________ Appalachian Mountains, NC _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Zachary Burdick, 21, Mandan, North Dakota Naked Tweaker Desecrated A Baptismal Font A North Dakota man tweaking on meth yesterday stripped off his clothes and went into a church’s baptismal font before emerging to walk toward the altar while masturbating, an affront witnessed by 75 individuals attending mass, according to a probable cause affidavit. The 9 AM mass Tuesday at Spirit of Life Church was interrupted when Zachary Burdick, 21, appeared in the entryway of the Roman Catholic church in Mandan, a city about five miles from Bismarck. A female church employee called police after Burdick disrobed and entered the font, where he was “masturbating facing the altar.” Burdick, she added, then “began walking down the aisle toward the altar while still masturbating.” Witness Darrell Kilzer, 68, told police that Burdick began to “splash around” in the “Holy Water fountain.” Kilzer added that Burdick later “entered the sanctuary with his ‘machinery’ hanging out and was ‘pumping’ himself.” Father Todd Kreitinger, who was conducting mass when Burdick arrived, said that the intruder “dipped his rear-end into the Holy Water fountain and splashed around a bit before entering the sanctuary while masturbating.” The priest added that the font would have to be cleaned and sanitized, a process that would cost the church about $500. When confronted by police, Burdick reportedly said that he was “tweaking” on meth and admitted to using hashish oil. Burdick, Officer Nicholas Pynnonen reported, “appeared to be under drug influence.” When the patrolman noted that he could not masturbate in public, Burdick replied, “Especially in church.” Burdick then reportedly declared that he was “trying to bust a nut” inside the church. Burdick was charged with felony indecent exposure and disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor. He made his initial appearance this afternoon in Morton County District Court. While often a misdemeanor, Burdick’s alleged indecent exposure was charged as a felony because it occurred within 50 feet of “where private religious instruction is given to children aged 3- 9.” No children attending the church’s educational program saw Burdick’s antics, however.
From: Carolyn Re: Thumbnails to save disk space Dear Webby I have heard that it takes a lot of space on my computer to have pictures of family and friends in folders and that I should make thumbnails instead. Is this true? Thanks. I enjoy your Humor Letter very much. Carolyn Dear Carolyn Whoever told you that nonsense, should be put on a strict diet of Smarties, and should not allowed out of the funny farm without competent supervision. There is probably a lot of useless stuff on your computer, that can be dumped, and replaced if needed. However, pictures of your friends and family can not be replaced. They have more rights to be on your computer and on your back-up than ANY of the replaceable crap. Especially silly games that can be downloaded again. You can always get a second hard drive cheap. But pictures of friends and relatives are not replaceable. I make thumbnails IN ADDITION to the regular size pictures, to make menuing and sorting easier, but I never reduce good pictures to thumbnail size without also keeping them in original or at least regular size. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven ... don't step on the ducks. When you step on a duck, they all start quacking and make one hell of a racket." So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck, and along come St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same punishment as the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, tan, muscular, and with good hair. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" And the guy says, "Well, I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet. He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning up that horse manure, I'll eat every chunk of it." She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?" The Salesman says, "why do you ask?" She says, "They have the electricity turned off, because I have not paid for three months and called them a bunch of @#$%^&*." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Store Extra Measuring Cups with Ingredients I have extra measuring cups and spoons and I put the appropriate measure into the container for items like flours, sugars, oatmeal, etc., and leave them there. Saves time and washing, and extra mess because I can keep the bowls over the container while measuring. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Shirk Report for Friday
___________________________________________________ A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she accidentally breaks wind. Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident. She turns and sees that standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day Ma'am. How may I help you today?" Very uncomfortable she asks, "Sir how much does this rug cost?" He answers, "Lady, you farted just touching it. You're gonna really mess your drawers when you hear the price." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Sammy, a little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," Sammy responded immediately. His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," Sammy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

Today October 12 in
1492 Christopher Columbus, an Italian explorer, sighted Watling
Island in the Bahamas. He believed that he had found Asia while
attempting to find a Western ocean route to India. The same day
he claimed the land for Isabella and Ferdinand of Spain. 

1792 The first monument honoring Christopher Columbus was
dedicated in Baltimore, MD. 

1810 Bavarian Crown Prince Ludwig married Princess Therese of
Saxony-Hildburghausen. The royalty invited the public to attend
the event which became an annual celebration that later became
known as Oktoberfest. 

1892 In celebration of the 400th anniversary of the Columbus
landing the original version of the Pledge of Allegiance was
first recited in public schools. 

1915 Former U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt criticized U.S.
citizens who identified themselves by dual nationalities. 

1920 Construction of the Holland Tunnel began. It opened on
November 13, 1927. The tunnel links Jersey City, NJ and New York
City, NY. 

1933 The U.S. Department of Justice acquired Alcatraz Island from
the U.S. Army. 

1942 During World War II, Attorney General Francis Biddle
announced that Italian nationals in the United States would no
longer be considered enemy aliens. 

1960 Soviet premier Nikita Khrushchev pounded a shoe on his desk
during a dispute at a U.N. General Assembly. 

1964 The Soviet Union launched Voskhod 1 into orbit around the
Earth. It was the first space flight to have a multi-person crew
and the first flight to be performed without space suits. 

1972 During the Vietnam War, a racial brawl broke out aboard the
U.S. aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. Nearly 50 sailors were injured.


1976 China announced that Hua Guo-feng was named to succeed the
late Mao Tse-tung as chairman of the Communist Party. 

1988 Federal prosecutors announced that the Sundstrand Corp.
would pay $115 million dollars to settle with the Pentagon for
overbilling airplane parts over a five-year period. 

1989 The U.S. House of Representatives approved a statutory
federal ban on the destruction of the American flag. 

1994 Haitian military leader Raoul Cedras was granted political
asylum by Panama. 

1994 The Magellan space probe ended its four-year mission to
Venus for the purpose of mapping. 

1997 The St. Francis Basilica and 15th-century bell tower above
Foligno city hall in Italy were damaged by 3 earthquakes. 

1998 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Online
Copyright Bill. 

1999 In Pakistan, Pervez Musharraf seized power in a bloodless
coup that toppled Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif. The Supreme Court
ruled that the coup was legal but insisted that a civilian
government be restored within three years. 

2001 A special episode of America's Most Wanted was aired that
focused on 22 wanted terrorists. The show was specifically
requested by U.S. President George W. Bush. 

2006 The Dow Jones industrial average advanced over 11,900 for
the first time. 

2015 It was announced that Dell was buying EMC for around $67
billion. 

2018  smiled.


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"Be Aware" hoax 




Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, October 11

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Springfield man arrested after posting 
Facebook video about how to remove 
an ankle monitor

______________________________________________________
Today, October 11 in
1984 American Kathryn D. Sullivan became the first female
astronaut to space walk. She was aboard the space shuttle
Challenger. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. --- Lucille Ball (1911 - 1989) ______________________________________________________ >From Wendy After my recent Prostate Exam, which was the most thorough I've ever had, the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in. As she shut the door, She asked me a question I didn't want to hear. She said; "Who Was That Guy? ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him. The called said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-1234. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone. Screeeech!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, "Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk," worth 70 points or none at all. One student , in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote: 1.) It is perfect formula for the child. 2.) It provides immunity against several diseases. 3.) It is always the right temperature. 4.) It is inexpensive. 5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa. 6.) It is always available as needed. And then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell indicating the end of the test rang, he wrote... 7.) It comes in cute containers. He got an A ______________________________________________________ Soputan,Indonesia Enough CO2 for a Million acres of rice _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dwayne White, Bonifay, Floriduh Florida Officer Charged With Selling Drugs Out of Squad Car Crime doesn't pay - especially when you're supposed to be working for the other side. Authorities say a police officer who worked for the Bonifay Police Department, located in the Florida panhandle, was arrested after allegedly selling opioids out of his marked squad car while in uniform. Officer Dwayne White was arrested while at the Bonifay Police Department by agents from the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, authorities said. The FDLE began its investigation of White last month after the Holmes County Sheriff's Office referred their suspicions to them. Undercover agents made a controlled purchase of opioid tablets from White while he was in uniform in his marked squad car. White also allegedly used his personal cell phone for sales. The officer was charged with selling a controlled substance and unlawful use of a two-way communications device. He is currently being held in the Walton County Jail.
From: Fred Re: Fwd.:Be Aware Dear Webby, Please read this. It is no joke. Here is the e-mail I was sent: Dear Friends: I know not all of you are women that I am sending this to, but am hoping you will share this with your wives, daughters, mothers, sisters, etc. Our world seems to be getting crazier by the day. Pipe bombs in mail boxes and sickos in parking lots with perfume. Be careful. I was approached yesterday afternoon aro und 5:30 PM in the Wal-Mart parking lot by two men asking what kind of perfume I .......... Dear Fred Forget it. That is an ancient hoax. You can read up on it. There is no gas that is so potent that it can knock you out with just the tiny amount that can be put into a stack of scratch cards. Have FUN! DearWebby

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Keli said, "I met the best-looking guy! He's gorgeous, but he doesn't say much. He's very quiet." Anni asked, "Did you check to see if he needs the battery replaced??"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A young woman meets her old, retired, parish priest and when he asks her how she is, she bursts out crying. "What's the matter child?" he asks. "Oh, Father," she says, "it's my boyfriend. He won't marry me because I'm Roman Catholic." "There, there child. Here's what you do. Explain to him the faith of the Church, the traditions, the ceremonies and the rites. That'll bring him around." Tearfully, the young woman says she'll try it. About a year later, they meet again, and again she bursts into tears when he asks how she is doing. "Is it your boyfriend, child?" he asks. "Yes, Father." "Did you explain about the Church as I suggested?" "Yes, Father," she says, "but that was the problem. He was so taken by it that he's now studying to be a priest." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Tennis Ball In The Garage Are you worried about a young driver (or yourself) driving through the back wall of you garage? Hang a tennis ball from the ceiling of the garage. Position the tennis ball to hit the windshield when the car is pulled in far enough. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The brief musical career of Norman Bates, aka Anthony Perkins.
___________________________________________________ A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams and wanted to know what he should do next. His mother suggested, "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?" He thought this was a great idea and arranged a date for the next weekend. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone. He moaned, "Oh, mom, the evening was a complete disaster." His mother said, "Why, didn't she come over?" And the young man said, "Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor." HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous." WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor." HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?" WIFE: "In the pool."

Today October 11 in
1776 During the American Revolution the first naval battle of
Lake Champlain was fought. The forces under Gen. Benedict Arnold
suffered heavy losses. 

1811 The Juliana, the first steam-powered ferryboat, was put into
operation by the inventor John Stevens. The ferry went between
New York City, NY, and Hoboken, NJ. 

1869 Thomas Edison filed for a patent on his first invention. The
electric machine was used for counting votes for the U.S.
Congress, however the Congress did not buy it. 

1881 David Henderson Houston patented the first roll film for
cameras. 

1890 The Daughters of the American Revolution was founded in
Washington, DC. 

1899 The Boer War began in South Africa between the British and
the Boers of the Transvaal and Orange Free State. 

1929 JCPenney opened a store in Milford, DE, making it a
nationwide company with stores in all 48 states. 

1932 In New York, the first telecast of a political campaign was
aired. 

1939 U.S. President Roosevelt was presented with a letter from
Albert Einstein that urged him to develop the U.S. atomic program
rapidly. 

1942 The Battle of Cape Esperance, during World War II, began in
the Solomons. 

1958 Pioneer 1, a lunar probe, was launched by the U.S. The probe
did not reach its destination and fell back to Earth and burned
up in the atmosphere. 

1968 Apollo 7 was launched by the U.S. The first manned Apollo
mission was the first in which live television broadcasts were
received from orbit. Wally Schirra, Don Fulton Eisele and R.
Walter Cunningham were the astronauts aboard. 

1975 Bill Clinton and Hillary Rodham were married in
Fayetteville, AR. 

1983 The last hand-cranked telephones in the U.S. went out of
service. The 440 telephone customers of Bryant Pond, ME, were
switched to direct-dial service. 

1984 American Kathryn D. Sullivan became the first female
astronaut to space walk. She was aboard the space shuttle
Challenger. 

1984 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) made his debut in the
National Hockey League (NHL) against the Boston Bruins. He scored
a goal on his first shot on his first NHL shift. 

1994 U.S. troops in Haiti took control of the National Palace. 

1994 Iraqi troops began moving away from the Kuwaiti border. 

1994 The Colorado Supreme Court declared that the anti-gay rights
measure in the state was unconstitutional. 

2018  smiled.


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Is Crap Cleaner OK? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, October 10

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Springfield man arrested after posting 
Facebook video about how to remove 
an ankle monitor

______________________________________________________
Today, October 10 in
1973 Fiji became independent after of nearly a 
century of British rule. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half the time. --- E. B. White (1899 - 1985) Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) ______________________________________________________ >From Myrna Men are good for only one thing! Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to my mother to complain. Trying to console me, my dad said that men are not all like this all the time. "Nonsense," I said. "Men are good for only one thing!" "Yes," my mother interjected, "but how often do you have to parallel park?" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "Doctor!" said the woman as she loudly bounced into the room, "I want you to tell me very frankly what's wrong with me." He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you." "First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds. Second, you should use about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist - the doctor's office is on the next floor...." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It´s too hot. It´s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin´ ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone," the guide said. "Unfortunately, it´s being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow." "We can´t be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can´t kiss the stupid stone." "Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you´ll have the same good fortune." "And I suppose you´ve kissed the stone," the woman scoffed. "No, ma´am," the frustrated guide said, "but I´ve sat on it!!!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dustin W. Burns, 33, Springfield, MO Springfield man arrested after posting Facebook video about how to remove an ankle monitor A Springfield man is in jail after authorities say he filmed himself using a butter knife and a screwdriver to remove an ankle monitor — then posted the video to Facebook. The July video referenced by investigators is still posted on what appears to be the Facebook page of Dustin W. Burns, 33. Court records show Burns pleaded guilty to violating a restraining order earlier this year and was placed on probation. "This is how you take an ankle bracelet off," says a voice in the video, "without breaking the circuit." A man in the video can be seen with his pants leg rolled up. He sticks the butter knife in and out of the device, before grabbing a utility tool to unscrew part of it. The man advises viewers to remove the ankle monitor without damaging it, thus avoiding thousands of dollars in fines. The video ends with the man fully removing the bracelet and holding it up to the camera. Authorities apparently believe this man is Burns. In subsequent posts, the Facebook account references trips to Utah, Boise, Idaho and Oregon. In August, the Facebook account posted a video of a man who looks like Burns walking through what appears to be a large marijuana farm with the caption: "Dream come true." Court records show several probation violations were filed this summer against Burns and a warrant for his arrest was issued. Online jail records show Burns has been in the Greene County Jail since Aug. 28. Burns was charged this week with tampering with electronic monitoring equipment, a felony, court records say.
From: Jerry Re: Is CrapCleaner safe Dear Webby, I sent you an E-Mail last week and did'nt recive any reply... So, Guess I'll thy again... Can you tell me anything about the CrapCleaner... I've downloaded it,from your site here...but I don't want to use it unless I know its safe... Well it delete my files and/or programs that are on my Desktop ??? Thank You for any info... --- Jerry --- Dear Jerry Crap Cleaner is perfectly safe. It will just delete useless crap. If you are using cookies to sign in at the bank and places like that, take the checkmark off the cookies. Then it will leave those alone. It will show you first what it has found that is useless crap. You can look that over and un-check stuff if you think you might need it. CrapCleaner will remember your preferences and next time not suggest anything that you had unchecked the last time. Quite often, if your machine slows down and gets close to stalling, running CrapCleaner will get things moving again and speed up the machine. Some people prefer the older versions of Crap cleaner, and I do too. The newer versions can be a bit too helpful unless you look at all the options and uncheck stuff, that you find unneccessary. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Just before their first long deployment two Navy buddies were talking about the stress of leaving their families. A senior officer, a veteran of many deployments, overheard the conversation and offered the following advice: "You must be sensitive to your wives' emotional needs," he said. "Never, ever, whistle while you pack!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Donate Old Magazines Give your old magazines to hospitals, nursing homes, senior centers, schools or clinics. Schools need magazines for research and for children to cut pictures out of. Anywhere there is a waiting room there are people hoping for something to read. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The brief musical career of Norman Bates, aka Anthony Perkins.
___________________________________________________ The new bride had spent two hours preparing her first break- fast. She sat down at the table, eagerly watching as her husband slowly savored each forkful. "How was it, Honey?" she asked when he'd finished. "Well," he began thoughtfully, wiping his lips, "you probably could have beaten the eggshells a little longer. But on the whole, it was a good start." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was going though. One day the girl was convinced that the pain on her left side was appendicitis. Her mother explained that the appendix is on the right. "So that's why it hurts to much," her daughter said. "My appendix is on the wrong side."

Today October 10 in
1845 The United States Naval Academy opened in Annapolis, MD. 

1865 The billiard ball was patented by John Wesley Hyatt. 

1886 The tuxedo dinner jacket made its U.S. debut in New York
City. 

1887 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Phonograph Company. 

1911 China's Manchu dynasty was overthrown by revolutionaries
under Sun Yat-sen. 

1913 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson triggered the explosion of the
Gamboa Dike that finished the construction of the Panama Canal. 

1933 Dreft, the first synthetic detergent, went on sale. 

1938 Nazi Germany completed its annexation of Czechoslovakia's
Sudetenland. 

1943 Chaing Kai-shek took the oath of office as the president of
China. 

1957 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower apologized to Komla
Agbeli Gbdemah, the finance minister of Ghana, after the official
had been refused service in a Dover, DE, restaurant. 

1959 Pan American World Airways announced the beginning of the
first global airline service. 

1963 A dam burst in Italy killing 3,000 people. 

1965 The Red Baron made his first appearance in the "Peanuts"
comic strip. 

1973 Fiji became independent after of nearly a century of British
rule. 

1984 The U.S. Congress passed the 2nd Boland Amendment which
outlawed solicitation of 3rd-party countries to support the
Contras. The amendment barred the use of funds available to CIA,
defense, or intelligence agencies for "supporting, directly or
indirectly, military or paramilitary operations in Nicaragua by
any nation, group, organization or individual." 

1987 Tom McClean finished rowing across the Atlantic Ocean. It
set the record at 54 days and 18 hours. 

1991 The United States cut all foreign aid to Haiti in reaction
to a military coup that forced President Jean-Claude Aristide
into exile. 

1994 Lt. Gen. Raoul Cedras resigned as Haiti's commander-in-chief
of the army and pledged to leave the country. 

1994 Iraq announced it was withdrawing its forces from the
Kuwaiti border. No signs of a pullback were observed. 

2003 Rush Limbaugh announced that he was addicted to painkillers
and that he was going to check into a rehab center. 

2010 In China, Canton Tower opened to the public. 

2018  smiled.


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Spam from "hackergroup" 





Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, October 9

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Another rape by 'repeat' illegal alien

______________________________________________________
Today, October 9 in
1989 The official Soviet news agency Tass reported an 
unidentified flying object. The report included a trio 
of tall aliens that had visited the city of Voronzh. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The higher the buildings, the lower the morals. --- Noel Coward (1899 - 1973) ______________________________________________________ The man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman. "No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of gold." She said she didn't believe him so she called the bar. "Hello," she said, "I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question: "Are your urinals covered in gold?" To which she heard the bartender said, "Hey, Clarence, I think we found the drunk who peed in your tuba!" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Seems there was a young soldier, who, just before battle, told his sergeant that he didn't have a rifle. "That's no problem, son," said the sergeant. "Here, take this broom. Just point it at the enemy, and go 'Bangety Bang Bang.'" "But what about a bayonet, Sarge?" asked the young (and gullible) recruit. The sergeant pulls a piece of straw from the end of the broom, and attaches it to the handle end. "Here, use this ... just go, 'Stabity Stab Stab.'" The recruit ends up alone on the battlefield, holding just his broom. Suddenly, an enemy soldier charges at him. The recruit points the broom. "Bangety Bang Bang!" The enemy falls dead. More enemies appear. The recruit, amazed at his good luck, goes "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" He mows down the enemy by the dozens. Finally, the battlefield is clear, except for one enemy soldier walking slowly toward him. "Bangety Bang Bang! shouts the recruit. The enemy keeps coming. "Bangety Bang Bang!" repeats the recruit, to no avail. He gets desperate. "Bangety Bang Bang! Stabity Stab Stab!" It's no use. The enemy keeps coming. He stomps the recruit into the ground, mumbling "Tankety Tank Tank." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ "Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?" The father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right." "That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "but you could at least give it a try, couldn't you?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by April Calkins, 38, Cody Gotowala, 13, Choctaw, Oklahoma Mom arrested for bringing teenage son along with her to break-ins Police arrested 38-year-old April Calkins along with Cody Gotowala on burglary charges. Calkins, also facing a charge of contributing to the deliquency of a minor, accused of taking her 13-year-old son along with them on the crime spree. The 13-year-old boy told authorities he went with his mom multiple times, Taking items like little girls clothing and in one case bullets for a gun. The boy told police his mom had done more than a hundred burglaries in the eastern OKC metro. He says he stopped going with her when he realized what she was doing. And although Calkins and Gotowala are now in custody, officials say the investigation is not over yet. Officials with the Oklahoma County Sheriff’s Office say a child’s doll led them to a major burglary ring in Choctaw. Last month, deputies with the sheriff’s office discovered thousands of dollars worth of stolen items at a Choctaw home, near N.E. 36th and Choctaw Rd. According to a search warrant affidavit, deputies began their investigation into the home after a doll was seen online. On Sept. 4, a victim called the Oklahoma County Sheriff’s Office after noticing “a Cabbage Patch doll matching one stolen in the burglary was being sold on an online classified website.” Investigators say the victim spotted the doll for sale on ‘Letgo’ and was being sold by “Craft Pirate.” Ultimately, investigators were able to track down the seller. According to the search warrant affidavit, deputies attempted to speak with the seller and immediately noticed items that matched the description of other pieces of stolen property. Deputies were able to obtain a search warrant for the property and seized items like hunting gear, power tools and video games.
From: Edith Re: Hacker threat Dear Webby, Lately I have gotten a lot of mail from a wanna-be hacker, with my address forged into the sender slot, threatening me with all kinds of problems, if I don't pay immediately. I know they are full of shit, but they are a nuisance. How do I block them? Edith Dear Edith With MailWasher that is easy. There are links to that on top and on the side. Send an email to yourself. That will show you the machine name and your IP number in the header. Make a filter with MailWasher that if the header contains [your address] and the header does not contain [your machine name]. and for the action select: delete automatically. That deletes those spams right on the server, without even showing them in the list. Sent to hell in the dark. You will never see those spams again, or any spam, that has your address forged into the sender slot. If you can't tell your machine name, send an email to me and I will read the header. Instead of the machine name you can also use your IP number. You can look that up at http://webby.com/ip Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Upon retiring from the service, Don, needed a new ID card showing he had gone from active duty to retirement status. But the photo taken of him was not particularly good and he wasn't at all quiet about it. "If I have to carry that ID around with me for the rest of my life," he complained to the photographer, "I want a better picture." "Want a better picture?" asked the photographer defiantly. "Then bring us a better face!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A salesman attending a meeting on the coast was held up when a severe storm and a flood washed out the local airport. He wired his office: "Delayed by storm. Send instructions." His boss wired back: "We'll answer your calls. Your vacation has been approved to start immediately." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com October Best Buys Plan your meals around items that tend to be cheaper in October. Here's a list of some of the best bets during October. Apples, Baking Goods, Beans, Beef, Beets, Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, Cauliflower, Chestnuts, Cranberries, Parsnips, Pears, Pork, Pumpkin, Scallops, Sweet Potatoes, Turkey, Turnips, and Winter Squash. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Take a guess as to what these knobbly balls were used for. It's a mystery to me!
___________________________________________________ One day a co-worker told my friend, Stan, that she was going home early because she didn't feel well. Since Stan was just getting over something himself, he wished her well and said he hoped it wasn't something he had given her. A fellow worker piped up, "I sure hope not. She has morning sickness." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Lincoln studied by the light of a fireplace. Mozart composed by candlelight. Galileo invented by oil lamp. Didn't they ever think to do their work during the daytime?

Today October 9 in
1635 Roger Williams, founder of Rhode Island, was banished from
Massachusetts because he had spoken out against punishments for
religious offenses and giving away land that belonged to the
Indians. Williams had founded Providence, Rhode Island as a place
for people to seek religious freedom. 

1776 A group of Spanish missionaries settled in what is now San
Francisco, CA. 

1781 The last major battle of the American Revolutionary War took
place in Yorktown, VA. The American forces, led by George
Washington, defeated the British troops under Lord Cornwallis. 

1812 During the War of 1812 American forces captured two British
brigs, the Detroit and the Caledonia. 

1855 Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor. 

1855 Joshua C. Stoddard received a patent for his calliope. 

1858 Mail service via stagecoach between San Francisco, CA, and
St. Louis, MO, began. 

1872 Aaron Montgomery started his mail order business with the
delivery of the first mail order catalog. The firm later became
Montgomery Wards. 

1876 Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Watson made their longest
telephone call to date. It was a distance of two miles. 

1888 The public was admitted to the Washington Monument for the
first time. 

1914 During World War I, German forces captured Antwerp, Belgium.


1930 Aviator Laura Ingalls landed in Glendale, CA, to complete
the first solo transcontinental flight across the U.S. by a
woman. 

1936 The first generator at Boulder Dam began transmitting
electricity to Los Angeles, CA. The name of the dam was later
changed to Hoover Dam. 

1940 St. Paul's Cathedral in London was bombed by the Nazis. The
dome was unharmed in the bombing. 

1946 "The Iceman Cometh" opened in New York City, NY. 

1946 The first electric blanket went on sale in Petersburg, VA. 

1975 Andrei Sakharov was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The
Soviet scientist is known as the "father of the hydrogen bomb." 

1986 U.S. District Judge Harry E. Claiborne became the fifth
federal official to be removed from office through impeachment.
The U.S. Senate convicted Claiborne of "high crimes and
misdemeanors." 

1986 The musical "Phantom of the Opera" by Andrew Lloyd Webber
opened in London. 

1989 The official Soviet news agency Tass reported an
unidentified flying object. The report included a trio of tall
aliens that had visited the city of Voronzh. 

1994 The U.S. sent troops and warships to the Persian Gulf in
response to Saddam Hussein sending thousands of troops and
hundreds of tanks toward the Kuwaiti border. 

1995 Saboteurs tinkered with a stretch of railroad track in
Arizona. An Amtrak train derailed killing one and injuring a
hundred. 

2000 Brett Hull (Dallas Stars) scored his 611th National Hockey
League (NHL) goal. The goal allowed him to pass his father, Bobby
Hull, on the all time scoring list bringing him to number 9. 

2003 Britain's Queen Elizabeth II knighted Roger Moore and made
Sting a CBE (Commander of the British Empire). 

2009 NASA launched the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing
Satellite (LCROSS). On November 13, it was announced that water
had been discovered in the planned impact plume on the moon. 

2018  smiled.


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WiFi Problem solved 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, October 8

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Another rape by ‘repeat’ illegal alien

______________________________________________________
Today, October 8 in
1950 U.N. forces crossed into North Korea from South Korea. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can. --- Margo Kaufman ______________________________________________________ A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two boys are playing hockey on the pond on Boston Common, when one is attacked by a vicious Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy took his hockey stick and managed to wedge it down the dog's collar and twist, luckily breaking the dog's neck and stopping its attack. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Bruins Fan Saves friend from Vicious Animal..." he starts writing in his notebook. "But, I'm not a Bruins Fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we're in Boston, I just assumed you were," said the reporter and starts again. "Red Sox Fan Rescues Friend from Horrific attack..." he continued writing in his notebook. "I'm not a Red Sox fan either!" The boy said. "I assumed everyone in Boston was either for the Bruins or the Red Sox. So, what team do you root for?" the reporter asked. "I'm a Yankees fan!" the child beamed. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes: "Little Bastard from New York Murders Beloved Family Pet." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A woman in her late forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob", where a small knob is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob." Fifteen years later, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems. First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them." The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts." She said, "Well, I guess that explains the goatee." ______________________________________________________ Happy Thanksgiving! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ever Martinez-Reyes, 24, Illegal from El Salvador Another rape by ‘repeat’ illegal alien Ever Martinez-Reyes, 24, from El Salvador, was ordered held without bail Saturday on rape, sexual assault and assault charges after allegedly following a woman home and knocking her out, Fox News reported. "When he assaulted her and knocked her out, he then proceeded to rape her", Nassau Police Commissioner Patrick Ryder said. "She woke up and he knocked her out again and viciously continued to assault her". Martinez-Reyes had previously been deported and reentered the U.S. illegally again in 2014.
From: Grandma Buttercup Re: Solve WiFi Problem Dear Webby, I would like to offer my advice to the person having trouble with the wifi in hotels. I too had that problem and I travel quite a bit, until I called the technician for the wifi service. I have a Sony Vaio and did not know there is a tiny button on the side front that has to be turned on for wifi to work. Haven't had a problem since. Grandma Buttercup Thanks Grandma Buttercup! Let's hope that will do the trick for Nofries! Have FUN! DearWebby

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The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?" "Yes" the mother answered. "And how is your son now?" he asked. "I don't know and I don't care." she replied.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Anna gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to economy because she doesn't have a first class ticket. Anna replies, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says, "I'm beautiful, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the co-pilot. The co-pilot goes up to Anna and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the economy section. The head stewardess asks the co-pilot what he said to get her to move. The co-pilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't stopping in Jamaica". ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Costume: Bag Of Garbage Cut holes in the bottom of a large garbage bag for legs and two holes in the side of the bag for arms. Your head will stick out the top of the bag. Fill it with crumpled newspaper until it looks like a full garbage bag and tape it closed Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Take a guess as to what these knobbly balls were used for. It's a mystery to me!
___________________________________________________ A little Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall for the first time. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father. "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is". While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again, and a beautiful 24 year-old woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly "Son, go get your Mother." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today October 8 in
1895 The Berliner Gramophone Company was founded in Philadelphia,
PA. 

1915 During World War I, the Battle of Loos concluded. 

1918 U.S. Corporal Alvin C. York almost single-handedly killed 25
German soldiers and captured 132 in the Argonne Forest in
France.
York had originally tried to avoid being drafted as a
conscientious objector. After this event he was promoted to
sergeant and was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. 

1919 The first transcontinental air race in the U.S. began. 

1945 U.S. President Truman announced that only Britain and Canada
would be given the secret to the atomic bomb. Canada never built
an atomic bomb, because they figured that the Canadian
Government
was so screwed up, that nobody would dare attack Canada. They
were right. 

1950 U.N. forces crossed into North Korea from South Korea. 

1952 "The Complete Book of Etiquette" was published for the first
time. 

1966 The U.S. Government declared that LSD was dangerous and an
illegal substance. That made all the Hippies want to try it. 

1970 Soviet author Alexander Solzhenitsyn won the Nobel Prize for
literature. 

1981 U.S. President Reagan greeted former Presidents Carter, Ford
and Nixon to the White House. The group was preparing to leave
for Egypt to attend the funeral of Anwar Sadat. 

1982 In Poland, all labor organizations, including Solidarity,
were banned. 

1991 A slave burial site was found by construction workers in
lower Manhattan. The "Negro Burial Ground" had been closed in
1790. Over a dozen skeletons were found. 

1993 The U.S. government issued a report absolving the FBI of any
wrongdoing in its final assault in Waco, TX, on the Branch
Davidian compound. The fire that ended the siege killed as many
as 85 people. 

1998 Taliban forces attacked Iranian border posts. Iran said that
three border posts were destroyed before the Taliban forces were
forced to retreat. The Taliban of Afghanistan denied the event
occurred. 

1998 Canada and Netherlands were voted into the U.N. Security
Council. 

2001 Two Russian cosmonauts made the first spacewalk to be
conducted outside of the international space station without a
shuttle present. 

2002 A federal judge approved U.S. President George W. Bush's
request to reopen West Coast ports, to end a caustic 10-day labor
lockout. The lockout was costing the U.S. economy an estimated
$1
billion to $2 billion a day. 

2003 China announced that it would have a human crew orbit the
Earth briefly on October 15. 

2003 Vietnam and the United States reached a tentative agreement
that would allow the first commercial flights between the two
countries since the end of the Vietnam War. 

2003 It was announced that Vivendi Universal and General Electric
Co. had reached an agreement to merge. The name for the combined
company was NBC Universal. 

2003 Siegfried Fischbacher and his manager announced that the
"Siegfried and Roy" show at the Mirage was canceled permanently.
It was also said that if Roy Horn survived, after a tiger attack
on October 3, the duo would continue to work together. 

2004 The first-ever direct presidential elections were held in
Afghanistan. 

2018  smiled.


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WiFi Problems 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, October 7

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Illinois man arrested for paying court fines 
using stolen credit card info

______________________________________________________
Today, October 7 in
2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor 
in the recall election of Governor Gray Davis. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The entire economy of the Western world is built on things that cause cancer. --- From the 1985 movie "Bliss" Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards. --- Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988) ______________________________________________________ After the christening of his baby brother in church, little five-year-old Johnny sat in the back seat, unusually quite. Very softly he started to cry until his father noticed him sobbing. "What's wrong, little Johnny?" asked his father. Between sniffles little Johnny replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a good Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys instead!" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. The classroom became a bit unruly and he admonished them. This happened several times. When he could do work at his desk, the strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging and rearranging the tie as the class raised its level of unruliness. Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up and took a big stapler off his desk and stapled the tie to his chest in several places. Discipline was not a problem from that day forth. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The sheriff of a small town was also the town's animal Vet. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Auttonberry, 59, West Monroe, Louisiana Louisiana Man Tells Cops That A Ghost Planted Meth On Him After police found methamphetamine “in plain view” on a nightstand in his home, a Louisiana man claimed that a ghost placed the narcotics in his residence, according to an arrest report. Responding to a reported stabbing, sheriff’s deputies early yesterday encountered Michael Auttonberry, 59, at the door of his West Monroe residence. Auttonberry, seen at right, cursed at cops and “people who were obviously not there.” Deputies quickly determined that Auttonberry had not, as he claimed in a 911 call, been “stabbed on the head by an axe.” Nor were there any intruders inside his home. While making sure that Auttonberry’s residence was clear, a deputy spotted “in plain view on a night stand a open brown paper containing approximately 1 gram of suspected methamphetamine.” A subsequent search of Auttonberry yielded a pill bottle containing another gram of meth. Auttonberry surmised that a "ghost or intruders" placed the meth on him and were exiting the home through a nearby window. “Which was not accurate,” investigators noted. Auttonberry was arrested on a felony narcotics possession charge and a misdemeanor criminal mischief count. He is being held in the Ouachita Parish jail in lieu of $5000 bond.
From: Nofries Re: WiFi Problem Dear Webby, I tried to use my new laptop's wifi at two places this past week. Both places offered free wifi access and when I switched on the wi fi it detected the signal and connected. Then I could not surf, when I tried to open Internet Explorer I got the message, "IE cannot display this web page." I'm not too tech savvy and was embarrassed beyond belief that I could not figure this out. I have windows XP pro and ran the Network Diagnostics for Windows XP, and checked the Tools >Internet Options>Advanced>and made sure the SSL and TSL were enabled. Could it have been my firewall or security? I use free Zonealarm, Ad-aware, and AVG. I seem to recall Zonealarm asking to allow something and I said yes. I also use AOL, I know - my bad! I just tried to Google the error message with no luck. Is there a web site for dummies to get help with tech problems? I'm visually oriented and can figure out most things with written instructions. Do you have any advice or link to a problem solving site for dummies? Love your daily Humor letter! nofries ps--Still have dial up Internet at home, in SE USA. I will have to stick to dial up for 6-8 months or so, can you recommend an ISP? Dear Nofries Normally, with free or public WIFI you automatically get a browser screen from the WIFI provider, and you have to log in with the user name and password that is usually on a card on the table or posted somewhere. Sometimes you have to sign up and fill out your name and address and bra size and all kinds of demographic information. The rule there is: "Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer." Just make up some stuff if it is too personal. Then you get a user name and password. Close the browser, and when you open it again with the log-on screen, use that user name and password. Until you log on, your browser doesn't go anywhere, except that log-on screen, and the WiFi signal strength will be very low. Don't be shy about asking staff how to log on. I ask, if the usual routine does not work, and I have logged onto WIFI at many hundreds of places. Usually the staff knows even less about it than you, but they will give you a number to call. The people at that support number will have you connected within seconds. Re a dial-up in SE USA, try Earthlink. I have sent hundreds of people to them, and all seem to be happy. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A teacher announced that to practice spelling, each member of the class would say what their father did for a living an then spell the occupation. A girl named Mary went first. "My dad is a baker, b-a-k-e-r, and if he were here, he would give each of us a cookie." Next came Tommy. "My dad is a banker,b-a-n-k-e-r, and if he were here, he'd give each of us a quarter." Third came Jimmy. "My dad is an electrician. But after struggling through a number of attempts to spell the word, the teacher asked him to sit and think about it for a moment while she called on someone else. She then turned to little Johnny. "My dad is a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e," Johnny said. "And if he were here, he'd lay you 8-to-5 that Jimmy ain't never gonna spell electrician!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A wealthy executive boarded a New York to Chicago train. He explained to the porter, "I'm a heavy sleeper, but I want you to be sure and wake me up at 3:00 am for the stop in Buffalo. I don't care what I say, you just make sure I get off in Buffalo." The next morning the executive woke up in Chicago. He was furious. He found the porter and really gave him an earful before hustling off to purchase a return ticket. After he left, a co-worker said to the porter, "How can you stand there and let that passenger abuse you like that?" "That's nothing," said the porter. "You should have heard the guy I kicked out in Buffalo!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Food Lost During a Power Outage If you have homeowners insurance, food that has to be thrown out during a power outage may be covered by your policy. Check with your insurance company to be sure. Some insurance policies will cover up to $500.00 per appliance if you provide a general list of what was lost and its replacement value. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
13 Things I found on the internet today 5-15-2018 by Messy Nessy.
___________________________________________________ There are three ways to get things done: 1) do it yourself 2) hire someone to do it 3) forbid your kids to do it ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today October 7 in
1765 Nine American colonies sent a total of 28 delegates to New
York City for the Stamp Act Congress. The delegates adopted the
"Declaration of Rights and Grievances." 

1777 During the American Revolution the second Battle of Saratoga
began. 

1913 For the first time, Henry Ford's entire Highland Park
automobile factory was run on a continuously moving assembly line
when the chassis was added to the process. 

1918 The Georgia Tech football team defeated Cumberland College
222-0. Georgia Tech carried the ball 978 yards and never threw a
pass. 

1949 The German Democratic Republic (East Germany) was formed. 

1950 The U.S.-led U.N. forces crossed the 38th parallel and
entered North Korea. China in November proved their threat to
enter the war by sending several hundred thousand troops over the
border into North Korea. 

1951 The Western Hills Hotel in Fort Worth, TX, became the first
hotel to feature all foam-rubber mattresses and pillows. 

1963 U.S. President Kennedy signed a nuclear test ban treaty with
Britain and the Soviet Union. 

1968 The Motion Picture Association of America adopted the film-
rating system that ranged for "G" to "X." 

1981 The Egyptian parliament, after the assassination of Anwar
Sadat, named Vice President Hosni Mubarak the next president of
Egypt. 

1985 The United States announced that it would no longer
automatically comply with World Court decisions. 

1989 In Budapest, Hungary's Communist Party renounced Marxism in
favor of democratic socialism. 

1993 U.S. President Clinton sent more troops, heavy armor, and
naval firepower to Somalia. 

1994 U.S. President Clinton dispatched an aircraft carrier to the
Persian Gulf when Iraqi troops were spotted moving toward Kuwait.
The U.S. Army was also put on alert. 

1998 The U.S. government filed an antitrust suit that alleged
Visa and MasterCard inhibit competition by preventing banks from
offering other cards. 

1999 American Home Products Corp. agreed to pay up to $4.83
billion to settle claims that the fen-phen diet drug caused
dangerous problems with heart valves. 

2000 Vojislav Kostunica took the oath of office as Yugoslavia's
first popularly elected president. 

2001 The U.S. Canada and Great Britain began airstrikes in
Afghanistan in response to that state's support of terrorism and
Osama bin Laden. The act was the first military action taken in
response to the terrorist attacks on the U.S. on September 11,
2001. 

2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor in
the recall election of Governor Gray Davis. 

2018  smiled.


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Email Substitute 





Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, October 6

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Illinois man arrested for paying court fines 
using stolen credit card info

______________________________________________________
Today, October 6 in
1848 The steamboat SS California left New York Harbor for San
Francisco via Cape Horn. The steamboat service arrived on
February 28, 1849. The trip took 4 months and 21 days. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues. --- Elizabeth Taylor (1932 - 2017) ______________________________________________________ >From Ann Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture. "Why don't you wait till your husband gets home?" someone asked. "I could," my mother told the group," but the couch is easier to move when he's not on it." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Kyle and Justin were sitting down to eat their supper with the baby sitter when 6 year old Kyle saw the baby sitter sit down in his daddy's seat. "You can't sit in Daddy's seat!" Kyle exclaimed. "Daddy's not home," the baby sitter replied, matter-of-factly. "Since I'm responsible for you while he's gone, I can sit here. Today I'm the boss." Justin, the 4 year old, quickly piped up, "If you're the boss, you have to sit over there in Mommy's chair!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Peter A few years ago I went to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed that enough Germans would speak English so that I could at least get around. But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket inspector on the train. He punched my ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. I just nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested. When he had gone, an American woman soldier in the compartment leaned forward and asked if I spoke German. "No," I confessed. "Then that explains," she said, "why you didn't bat an eyelid when he told you that you were on the wrong train, going in the wrong direction, and that there was no scheduled stop for another hour." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brenton Thurman, 28, Naperville, Illinois Illinois man arrested for paying court fines using stolen credit card info Naperville man accused of using stolen credit card information to pay his court fines and those of several other people has been arrested on a felony identity theft charge, the DuPage County State’s Attorney’s Office said. Brenton Thurman, 28, of the 0 to 100 block of Olesen Drive, made multiple payments to the DuPage County Clerk’s Office in March using stolen credit card and bank information, a state’s attorney’s office news release said. The payments added up to about $6,000, the release said. Thurman also used the stolen information to pay the fines and fees of other people, keeping the cash they’d given him to pay their court debts, the release said. The clerk’s office discovered the fraud and notified the state’s attorney’s office. DuPage County Judge Joshua Dieden set Thurman’s bond at $100,000, and required that Thurman show that any money used for bail was not illegally obtained, the release said. “The behavior alleged against Mr. Thurman is outrageous and, if proven guilty, will not go unpunished,” State’s Attorney Robert Berlin said in the release. “In addition to allegedly victimizing several individuals, Mr. Thurman allegedly attempted to defraud our system of justice all while lining his pockets at the expense of others.”
From: Bill Re: Email Substitute Dear Webby, A lady asked "I want a toolbar so I can forward e-mail to without having to open outlook express. I am not to thrill with google toolbar." Any suggestions or remedies? Thanks, Bill Dear Bill I would recommend a steady diet of Smarties and competent supervision. To forward email without opening her email program she would have to delve deeper into spiritology than I want to venture. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Sandie for this story: A woman, her husband and their three rambunctious young sons were in their car waiting at a traffic light. The woman glanced over at the car next to them and noticed a blissfully happy mother with her baby daughter. Looking at her husband, she said, "As soon as I lose my weight from the last baby, I want to try for a daughter." The husband reached up to the dash, grabbed an open box of snacks and said, "Here. Have some cookies."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to JRC for this story: A Doctor in Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant "Garge, I am going hunting tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients". "Yes, sir!" answers Garge. The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: "So,Garge, How was your day?" Garge told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL." "Bravo Mate, and the second one?" asks the doctor. "The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir" says Garge. "Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor. "Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!'" "Tunderin' lard Jaysus, Garge, what did you do?" asks the doctor. "I put drops in her eyes. I don't remember what happened after that." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Clutter Control: 5 Minute Clean Up Have a family ritual: before anyone goes to bed, they clean up their belongings in the living and dining room. It only takes a few minutes. Items that sit out for too long become a part of the landscape. Daily maintenance is the key to clutter control. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
10 Most Beautiful Castles in Switzerland
___________________________________________________ There was this man who, many years ago, worked for a large business. That was his lifetime employment, but he wasn't happy there. He wanted to go into business for himself. He saved his money and finally had enough so that he could quit and start his own business. About two years later, I was on vacation and was going through the town where his business was located, so I stopped by for a visit. "Hey, John! I heard that the first year is the hardest for a new business." "Yeah, the first year was pretty rough, but we are doing pretty good now. In fact, I'm getting to where I only have to work half a day." "Wow, that's pretty nice. Maybe I should think about going into business for myself." "Yeah, and the nicest part of it is that it doesn't matter which twelve hours you work!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today October 6 in
1683 The first Mennonites arrived in America aboard the Concord.
The German and Dutch families settled in an area that is now a
neighborhood in Philadelphia, PA. 

1848 The steamboat SS California left New York Harbor for San
Francisco via Cape Horn. The steamboat service arrived on
February 28, 1849. The trip took 4 months and 21 days. 

1863 The first Turkish bath was opened in Brooklyn, NY, by Dr.
Charles Shepard. 

1866 The Reno Brothers pulled the first train robbery in America
near Seymour, IN. The got away with $10,000. 

1880 The National League kicked the Cincinnati Reds out for
selling beer. 

1889 In Paris, the Moulin Rouge opened its doors to the public
for the first time. 

1889 The Kinescope was exhibited by Thomas Edison. He had
patented the moving picture machine in 1887. 

1890 The Mormon Church was forced to outlaw polygamy. 

1928 War-torn China was reunited under the Nationalist leader
Chiang Kai-Shek. 

1939 Adolf Hitler denied any intention to wage war against
Britain and France in an address to Reichstag. 

1949 U.S. president Harry Truman signed the Mutual Defense
Assistance Act. The act provided $1.3 billion in the form of
military aid to NATO countries. 

1954 E.L. Lyon became the first male nurse for the U.S. Army. 

1961 U.S. president John F. Kennedy advised American families to
build or buy bomb shelters to protect them in the event of a
nuclear exchange with the Soviet Union. 

1973 Egypt and Syria attacked Israel in an attempt to win back
territory that had been lost in the third Arab-Israel war.
Support for Israel led to a devastating oil embargo against many
nations including the U.S. and Great Britain on October 17, 1973.
The war lasted 2 weeks. 

1979 Pope John Paul II became the first pontiff to visit the
White House. 

1991 Elizabeth Taylor married Larry Fortensky. The ceremony was
held at Michael Jackson's estate near Los Angeles, CA. It was
Taylor's 8th marriage and Fortensky's 3rd. 

2018  smiled.


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Does hosting make a difference with search engine ranking? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, October 5
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Florida Woman Ends Up Behind Bars 
After Robbery 911 "Prank" 

______________________________________________________
Today, October 4 in
1919 Enzo Ferrari debuted in his first race. He later founded the
Auto Avio Construzioni Ferrari, an independent manufacturing
company. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Human beings are perhaps never more frightening than when they are convinced beyond doubt that they are right. --- Laurens Van der Post As I grow older, I pay less attention to what people say. I just watch what they do. --- Andrew Carnegie The first marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. The second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. The third marriage is the triumph of stupidity. --- Liz Taylor ______________________________________________________ Wilbur got a job on the railways as a steward. For the first day he accompanied another steward to learn the ropes. "It's very simple," said his tutor, "Just use diplomacy." "What's diplomacy?" asked Wilbur. "Watch me I'll show you". Off they went down the train corridor, rattling compartment doors, opening them with special keys and offering tea or coffee. When the tutor steward flung open one door he was confronted with a buck naked woman. Without batting an eyelid he asked "Tea or coffee, sir?" The surprised woman took the cup of tea and he shut the door. "Wow, did you see that cutie!" Wilbur said excitedly. "She had no clothes on. But hey, why did you call her sir?" "That's diplomacy! I did not want to embarrass her". Wilbur was most impressed with his teacher. The next day, on his own now, he flung open a door to a compartment and found a couple making love on the bed. "Tea or coffee, sir?" "Tea" the man replied. "And for your brother?" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for ths story: The parents in our cycling group were discussing the subject of teenagers and their appetites. Most agreed that teenagers would eat anything, anywhere and at any time. Some were concerned that such appetites always made it hard to judge when you should feed them because they were always grazing. A veteran parent of six children told us of his method for judging the true hunger of teenagers. "I would hold up a piece of cold, cooked broccoli, and if they were jumping and snapping at it, I figured they were hungry enough to be fed." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Two boys were arguing when the preacher entered the room. The preacher says, "Why are you arguing?" One boy answers, "We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to the person who tells the biggest lie." "You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the preacher, "When I was your age, I didn't even know what a lie was." The boys gave the ten dollars to the preacher. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Pedgie Georges, 22, Fort Pierce, Florida Florida Woman Ends Up Behind Bars After Robbery "Prank" While dining Saturday at a Florida café, Pedgie Georges thought it would be funny to send her boyfriend a text falsely claiming that people were robbing the restaurant. But what Georges, 22, did not anticipate when planning her prank was that her beau would call 911 to report that an armed robbery was in progress at Alabon Bakery, a Fort Pierce eatery specializing in Haitian cooking. After receiving the 911 call, cops raced to the restaurant, running red lights with their sirens blaring. With their weapons drawn, officers subsequently entered the business and discovered no crime in progress. But they did find Georges, who explained that she texted her boyfriend as a prank that people were robbing the restaurant, according to an arrest affidavit. Since she had created a dangerous environment that could have resulted in harm to police or members of the public, Georges was arrested for misuse of the 911 system, a misdemeanor.
From Frances Re: Search Engines Dear Webby, Does it make any dfference to the search engines where my site is hosted ? Frances Dear Frances Yes, it seems to make a huge difference. Spammers or similarly objectionable people prefer to use bargain web hosts, because they do get kicked out fairly soon anyway, and because bargain hosts are usually not as swift in detecting spammers or in kicking out a paying client. The big networks blacklist and block the IP numbers used by the spammers. Bargain web hosts put hundreds of sites onto the same IP number. All those sites are affected by blocks, blacklists and reputation. When a robot from a search engine comes by and your site is not available, it's just like a census taker coming by when you are not home. You don't count if you are not counted, and those, who ARE counted, bypass you in the ranking. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Dora for this Classic: During a friendly argument, my husband asked me why I married him in the first place. "I was just stupid," I teased. When he said he was happy to hear that, I requested an explanation. "People get divorced all the time because they fall out of love," he said. "But I've never heard of anybody falling out of stupid."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A couple have been married forty years and are revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. As they are driving through the secluded countryside, they pass a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road. The woman says, "Sweetheart, let's do the same thing we did here forty years ago!" The guy stops the car. His wife backs against the fence, and they make love like never before. Back in the car, the guys says, "Darlin', you sure never moved like that forty year ago -- or any time since that I can remember." The woman says, "Forty years ago that damn fence wasn't electrified!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Frugal Costume: A Pirate! Wear an old pair of jeans and roll them up to your knees. Add knee high socks, tights or a pair of long johns under the pants. Find a shirt that is a few sizes too big and then wear a belt or sash over the shirt so that is nice and baggy. Add an old pair of boots, an earring and an eye patch! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Let's travel to Bhutan, known for its vast expanses of untouched wilderness, deeply embedded Buddhist culture, and history steeped in tradition and legend.
___________________________________________________ Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture. "Why don't you wait till your husband gets home?" someone asked. "I could," my mother told the group," but the couch is easier to move when he's not on it." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Today October 5 in

1813 Chief Tecumseh of the Shawnee Indians was killed at the
Battle of Thames when American forces defeated the British and
the allied Indian warriors. 

1877 Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce Indians surrendered to the
U.S. Army after a 1,000-mile retreat towards the Canadian border.


1919 Enzo Ferrari debuted in his first race. He later founded the
Auto Avio Construzioni Ferrari, an independent manufacturing
company. 

1930 Laura Ingalls became the first woman to make a
transcontinental airplane flight. 

1931 Clyde Pangborn and Hugh Herndon landed in Washington after
flying non-stop across the Pacific Ocean. The flight originated
in Japan and took about 41 hours. 

1937 U.S. President Roosevelt called for a "quarantine" of
aggressor nations. 

1947 U.S. President Harry S Truman held the first televised
presidential address from the White House. The subject was the
current international food crisis. 

1969 A Cuban defector landed a Soviet-made MiG-17 at Homestead
Air Force Base in Florida. The plane entered U.S. air space and
landed without being detected. 

1969 "Monty Python's Flying Circus" debuted on BBC television. 

1970 Anwar Sadat took office as President of Egypt replacing
Gamal Abdel Nassar. Sadat was assassinated in 1981. 

1974 American David Kunst completed the first journey around the
world on foot. It took four years and 21 pairs of shoes. He
crossed four continents and walked 14,450 miles. 

1985 An Egyptian policeman went on a shooting rampage at a Sinai
beach. Seven Israeli tourists were killed. The policeman died in
prison the following January of an apparent suicide. 

1986 Sandinista soldiers captured American Eugene Hasenfus after
shooting him down over southern Nicaragua. 

1988 In a debate between candidates for vice president of the
U.S., Democratic Lloyd Bentsen told Republican Dan Quayle,
"You're no Jack Kennedy." 

1989 The Dalai Lama (Lhama Dhondrub, Tenzin Gyatso) was named the
winner of the Nobel Peace Prize for his nonviolent campaign to
end the Chinese domination of Tibet. Gyatso was the 15th Dalai
Lama. 

1991 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev announced that his
country would cut its nuclear arsenal in response to the arms
reduction that was initiated by U.S. President George Bush. 

1993 China set off an underground nuclear explosion. 

1995 A 60-day cease-fire was agreed upon by Bonsian combatants.
The civil war had lasted 3 1/2 years. 

1997 In London, the Express Newspapers printed an article
claiming that Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman were homosexual and
that their marriage was a sham to cover the truth. The paper paid
damages in a settlement on October 29, 1998. 

1998 The U.S. paid $60 million for Russia's research time on the
international space station to keep the cash-strapped Russian
space agency afloat. 

1999 MCI Worldcom Inc. and Sprint Corp. announced plans to merge.


2006 Walmart rolled out its $4 generic drug program to the entire
state of Florida after a successful test in the Tampa area. 

2018  smiled.


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What is so bad about RoboForm? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, October 4

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Brit who stabbed daughter in rage 
over ex’s new girlfriend is found guilty

______________________________________________________
Today, October 4 in
1535 The first complete English translation of the Bible 
was printed in Zurich, Switzerland. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. --- Aldous Huxley (1894 - 1963 ______________________________________________________ A visitor to a college campus paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall. "It's a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway." "Actually," said the guide, "it's named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation." "Oh? Was Joshua Hemingway a writer also?" "Yes, indeed. He wrote a check." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dianne for this story: Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet... Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush.... _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A redneck had 3 daughters and one day, they all had a date on the same night. He decided to make sure that his daughters would be safe with the guys they were dating, he stayed out on the porch with a shotgun just to intimidate the guys into not trying anything. The first guy came up and said "Hi, My name is Joe, I take it slow, we're goin to a show, gotta go." The redneck thought he was an ok guy, so he let them go. About 5 minutes later, another guy came up and said, "My name is Bill, I live on the hill, we're goin to chill." The redneck thought he was cool, and let him go. About 5 minutes later, another guy came up and said, "My name is Chuck--" *BOOM!* ______________________________________________________ More help needed! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by William Billingham, 55 Birmingham England Britain who stabbed daughter in rage over ex’s new girlfriend is found guilty William Billingham, 55, used a kitchen knife to kill Mylee Billingham after dragging her by the coat into his bungalow – moments after holding the blade to the neck of her mother, Tracey Taundry. A trial at Birmingham Crown Court heard how Miss Taundry dialled 999 from outside Billingham’s house in Brownhills, near Walsall, telling operators to hurry as Mylee was screaming ‘stop it daddy’. Jurors deliberated for around 80 minutes before unanimously convicting Billingham of murder and a separate charge of making a threat to kill 34-year-old Miss Taundry. He will be sentenced tomorrow. The unemployed factory worker opted not to give evidence, claiming he had no memory of stabbing Mylee through the chest, and was guilty of the lesser offence of manslaughter due to depression. But prosecutors argued that Billingham ‘turned his anger’ on Mylee to spite Miss Taundry after she began a same-sex relationship.
From Ethian Re: What is so bad about RoboForm? Dear Webby, You used to recommend RoboForm since the 90s, but seem to be utterly disenchanted now. What happened? Ethian Dear Ethian Any company with people, who have a brain the size of one Smartie, have a method to recover a lost password. RoboForm, while implying that they keep your passwords safe for you, so that you did not have to write them on the wall, instituted a new system with a Master Password, that they don't remember, and that you can not recover. If the post-it-note with your MasterPassword accidentally gets lost, ALL of your passwords are trashed. Gone. Not recoverable. They started getting flakey even before they did that, but their evil Master Password lunacy totally ruined their once good reputation. If you have to write the Master Password onto the wall, for everybody to see, what is the point of using passwords? And paying the idiots for their totally useless program? If you don't want to use the password managing provided by your browser, look for one that does not have a not recoverable master password. Right now I just use the password managing included in Chrome. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
On the first day of school, the kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Jack One October my wife and I spent a vacation on Washington's Olympic Peninsula. We were eager to visit the rain forests near the coast, but we heard that snow slides had made some of the roads impassable. Although apprehensive about the conditions we might run into, we drove on. Sure enough, we had gone only a short way up the High Rain Forest road when we saw a sign: "Ice 10 miles." Five miles farther on there was another: "Ice 5 miles." The next one was: "Ice 1/2 mile." We practically crept that half-mile. We came to the last sign. It was outside a small grocery, and it read: "Ice 75 cents." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Deals At Cellphone Stores I ended up going directly to the store when looking for a new cellphone provider. They matched the deal I found online, plus gave me an addition rebate on each phone. They were also able to transfer my existing numbers, something that was not allowed with the online retailers offer. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Amazing artistic cycling tricks by Viola Brand.
___________________________________________________ >From Petra When I was a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed, with a wink, that he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility between us. "So what changed your mind?" I asked him. "I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference between a man and woman was insurmountable. He looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone who's 104?'" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
1535 The first complete English translation of the Bible was printed in Zurich, Switzerland. 1648 The first volunteer fire department was established in New York by Peter Stuyvesant. 1777 At Germantown, PA, Patriot forces and British forces both suffer heavy losses in battle. The battle was seen as British victory, which actually served as a moral boost to the Americans. 1876 AGGIES! The Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas formally dedicated by Texas Gov. Richard Coke. It was the state's first venture into public higher education. The college opened for classed two days earlier. 1881 Edward Leveaux received a patent for the player piano. 1909 The first airship race in the U.S. took place in St. Louis, MO. 1915 The Dinosaur National Monument was established. The area covered part of Utah and Colorado. 1927 The first actual work of carving began on Mount Rushmore. 1931 The comic strip "Dick Tracy" made its debut in the Detroit Daily Mirror. The strip was created by Chester Gould. 1933 "Esquire" magazine was published for the first time. 1940 Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini met in the Alps at Brenner Pass. Hitler was seeking help from Italy to fight the British. 1957 The Soviet Union launched Sputnik I into orbit around the Earth. Sputnik was the first manmade satellite to enter space. Sputnik I fell out of orbit on January 4, 1958. 1992 The 16-year civil war in Mozambique ended. 1993 Russian Vice-President Alexander Rutskoi and Chairman Ruslan Khasbulatov surrendered to Boris Yeltsin after a ten-hour tank assault on the Russian White House. The two men had barricaded themselves in after Yeltsin called for general elections and dissolved the legislative body. 1993 Dozens of Somalis dragged an American soldier through the streets of Mogadishu. A videotape showed Michael Durant being taken prisoner by Somali militants. 1994 South African President Nelson Mandela was welcomed to the White House by U.S. President Clinton. 1997 Hundreds of thousands of men attended a Promise Keepers rally on the Mall in Washington, DC. 1998 The Vincent Van Gogh exhibit opened in Washington, DC. The exhibit featured 70 paintings. 1998 Davis Gaines performed as the Phantom in the show "Phantom of the Opera" for the 2,000th time. 2001 NATO granted the United States open access to their airfields and seaports and agreed to deploy ships and early- warning radar planes in the war on terrorism. 2001 In Washington, DC, Reagan National Airport re-opened. The airport had been closed since the terrorist attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. 2004 SpaceShipOne reached an altitude of 368,000 feet. It was the first privately built, manned rocket ship to fly in space twice within a two week window. The ship won the Ansari X Prize of $10 million dollars for their success. 2018 smiled.


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