Best FTP program 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, January 7, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Thanks Mike!

So the actual cooling is caused by Gullible Warming?
And the dead birds have suicided because the end of the
world is near? It sure is amazing what kind of nonsense
we are expected to believe. 

Personally, I believe I will make another pot of coffee.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"I make money using my brains and lose money listening to my heart. But in the long run my books balance pretty well." --- Kate Seredy The shortest distance between two points is under construction. --- Noelie Altito
A hunting guide got himself into a bit of a fix. His party became hopelessly lost in the mountains and they blamed him for leading them astray. "You told us you were the best guide in Colorado!" they asserted. "I am," he said, "but I think we're in Wyoming now."
Duplicate File Cleaner Duplicate file cleaner is a powerful and professional grade duplicate file management solution, which helps you find and remove tons of duplicate pictures, music, videos and Outlook email messages. Get the Duplicate File Cleaner now!
Two-year-old Paige was with her mother while her older sister was being examined by a dentist. Paige kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until she noticed that her mom was resting, her eyes closed. With six other patients waiting, Paige marched up to her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her shoulder. "Mommy," she yelled, "wake up! This is not church!"
Thanks to Christine for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to John Finch, 44 in New Castle County, Delaware Drunken burglar gets stuck inside house Jan 6, 1:31 PM (ET) WILMINGTON, Del. (AP) - Police in Delaware say a man broke into a house, got drunk and couldn't make his way back outside - so he called 911 for help. New Castle County police say 44-year-old John Finch was trapped in the home in part because he'd broken into it before, back in April. That led the homeowner to change the locks so that a key was required - even inside. Police say no one was home when Finch broke in again, through a rear window. He stayed for a few days, drinking three bottles of gin and two bottles of whiskey. When he tried to leave, he was too drunk to climb back out of the window and called 911. He was arrested Wednesday afternoon. Finch now faces charges in both break-ins. Police say he was admitted to a hospital and is still too drunk to make a court appearance.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Marcia Re: FTP Program Dear Webby, I need an FTP program that is reasonably easy to use and that does not cost an arm and a leg. What do you recommend? Thanks, Marcia Dear Marcia Hit the wrench in the side menu to to my Tool Box. In there you see a link to FileZilla. It is the best FTP program both for professionals and for amateurs, and it is free. I use it every day, often multiple instances at the same time, connecting to different servers or different domains on the same server. FileZilla is rock solid and 100% predictable. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Norman and his wife Marina live in Michigan. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 3 to 4 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the EVEN numbered side of the street, so that the snowplow can get through." Norman's wife goes out and with much huffing and puffing moves her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 4 to 5 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the ODD numbered side of the street, so that the snowplow can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week, again during breakfast, the radio announcer says "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park...........", then the electric power goes out. Marina says, "Honey, I don't know what to do." Norman says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time? Until you get your drivers license back, I am not going to buy you any gas anyway."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reuse Dryer Sheets In Different Ways The new Purex 3 in 1 laundry sheets work great, after you finish with them in the dryer, they can be used to dust with, put in bottom of trash can or dresser drawer for odor control, or cut out and use to felt the bottom of what-nots sitting around. I'm sure there are many more uses, these are just a few I have tried. By Wanda from Climax, NC http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
On her birthday Karen announced to the whole family: "From now on, starting tomorrow, I will not sit in my living room all day watching TV." True to her word, promptly the next morning she moved the family TV into her bedroom.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Q:What does Thor, the god of Thunder, wear under his armor? A:Thunderwear

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Snip-URL problems on MSN Mail 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, January 6, 2011

Thanks to Lewis at the Ezinefinder, 
the voting works again!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations. --- Walter Bagehot If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience. --- George Bernard Shaw Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind. --- Evan Esar
Chris: Why did you sell that brand new pressure cooker at your yard sale? Cindy: It may look like a pressure cooker to you, but in the hands of my husband, it's a secret weapon. Last Sunday, he shot a pot roast into outer space!
Duplicate File Cleaner Duplicate file cleaner is a powerful and professional grade duplicate file management solution, which helps you find and remove tons of duplicate pictures, music, videos and Outlook email messages. Get the Duplicate File Cleaner now!
After much urging by his wife, Uncle Joe applied for work on a farm. The foreman decided to give him a try and told him to milk a cow, equipping him with a stool and a bucket. An hour later Uncle Joe returned dirty and sweaty, the bucket in one hand and the broken stool in the other. "Extracting the milk was easy," he explained. "The worst part was getting the cow to sit on that silly three-legged stool!"
Thanks to Betty on Vancouver Island for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to burglars in Sacramento, California Car was too small for stolen TV SACRAMENTO (UPI) -- Authorities in California said a trio of would-be TV thieves were foiled by the small size of their intended getaway car. Sacramento police said the burglars took the TV from a Sedley Court home about 4 p.m. PST Sunday and left the large set on the sidewalk when it would not fit in their Lexus, The Sacramento Bee reported . Police said information from a neighbor who witnessed the incident led them to trace the Lexus to a 19-year-old man, whom police did not identify. The man was arrested on suspicion of possession of stolen property and officers were searching for two alleged accomplices, police said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Snip URL not working Dear Webby, That SnipURL for that $299 XP machine did not work. Can you send the long URL? Thanks, Ann Dear Ann That's just MSN messing with your head. Other MSN users wrote with the same roblem. Whenever that happens, just go to the online copy of the Humor Letter at http://webby.com/humor They can't mess with that. Here is the long URL for that machine: http://configure.us.dell.com/dellstore/ ... vostro-230 Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Before Bill's daughter went off to college, he took her on a vacation in Colorado. They flew to Denver and rented a car. They visited the Royal Gorge Bridge, which is more than 1000 feet above the Arkansas River. Walking out onto the bridge, he noticed it swaying in the wind. Then a car went past them, and the wood-plank roadway moved beneath their feet. "I don't think I want to drive the car across this bridge," he finally said. "What are you worried about?" his daughter replied. "It's a rental."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freezing Lemon and Lime Juice My husband and I are big on being frugal. It began out of necessity, but now it is like second nature to us. To save a few cents (and every cent helps) in the kitchen, we buy lemons and limes when they are marked down. We've learned that, in some recipes, a lime works as well or better than a lemon! So we take the fruit home and juice them for future recipes. We put the juice in an ice cube tray or muffin pan. Ice cube trays are good for making a tablespoon or two. Muffin pans will make a bigger amount. Fill the tray, and pop it in the freezer. When they are frozen, take them out of the trays, stack them in a zip lock with a bit of wax paper between each, and put them back in the freezer. The next time a recipe calls for a tablespoon of lemon juice, we just reach for the freezer! And as a bonus, we can put some of the rind in the garbage disposal to freshen it! By su554 http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Chris has an inferiority complex. However, according to him, it's not a very good one.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
John Paul II died and went to heaven. St Peter met him at the gate and said: "John Paul, you did such a wonderful job for us on earth, we'd like to do something special for you. You name it; it's yours." John Paul thought for a moment and said: "I'd like a private audience with the Holy Mother." St Peter told him it would be arranged. On the appointed day, St Peter escorted John Paul to the Holy Mother's sanctuary. John Paul went before Her, knelt, and said: "Holy Mother, I've always looked to You for guidance, and You have granted me peace and serenity through some difficult times. But I have one question that has nagged me during my whole time on earth. In all the paintings that were done of you, and in all the sculptures that were carved of you, you always looked so sad. Why is that?" Mary thought for a moment, pursing her lips. Then she said: "I always wanted a girl."

» Orchard Views





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No help for Blonde Windows (W7) 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Before Christmas a number of people asked about alternatives
to the expensive Avery labels. I answered them personally, but
I think enough people can benefit from that info to warrant 
space here.

Avery and Avery style pre-gummed address labels are easy 
to use, but are often more expensive than the stamp on the 
envelope. That's not such a big deal if you just need a dozen,
but a major expense if there are hundreds of labels required.

You can use Open Office or any of the better word processors
to "mail-merge" an address list or data base or spreadsheet
into a label template. It is actually quite easy to do, once you
get over being scared and get started.

Then you can print the labels onto regular, cheap paper,
cut the paper and either glue the labels on with flour and 
water glue and a basting brush, or tape them on with clear
packing tape. 

The basting brush trick requires a block of wood just a bit
smaller than the labels, and some tweezers. You grab a label
with the tweezers, hold it upside down over the block of wood,
paint it with the glue dipped basting brush, and flip the label
onto the envelope or package. You CAN rub it on with the
back of your hand, but that is usually not required.

After five labels you will start to marvel at your incredible 
speed and how slick the system works.

For cutting the paper you can use a gate or guillotine cutter
like you remember from school, but you get cleaner edges
of you use a cutter that has a little dough cutter wheel on a
slide. Even a straight-edge and a box cutter work fine.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it." --- Franklin P. Jones The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man almost nothing. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
My sister was bemoaning the fact that she had procrastinated cleaning and organizing her house for a long time. Since she was planning to entertain, she felt a lot of pressure to get moving. That afternoon she phoned, sounding glum. "I went to the bookstore," she explained, "and I bought a book on how to get organized. I was all fired up, and decided to clean out all the shelves in the living room. While I was working, I found the same darn book. I had bought it a couple of years ago."
Duplicate File Cleaner Duplicate file cleaner is a powerful and professional grade duplicate file management solution, which helps you find and remove tons of duplicate pictures, music, videos and Outlook email messages. Get the Duplicate File Cleaner now!
They were having their first fight, and finally he said, "When we got married, you promised to love, honor and obey." She said, "I just didn't want to embarrass you in front of all those people anf have them think you got stuck with an argumentative nag.!"
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Chantille Rodway, Paradise, Newfouundland Beaten with meat PARADISE, Newfoundland, Jan. 3 (UPI) -- A Newfoundland woman faces charges of allegedly beating up a man with a package of frozen ground beef in Newfoundland, police said. Officers were called to a domestic dispute in Paradise, east of the provincial capital of St. John's, Saturday night, The Telegram reported. Inside the house, a man alleged Chantille Rodway had beaten him with a package of frozen meat during a quarrel. The extent of his injuries wasn't reported in the paper. Rodway was arrested and held overnight before appearing in court Sunday to face charges of assault and assault with a weapon, the report said. She was released and is scheduled to return to court Jan. 27.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Chuck Re: Blonde Windows problems Dear Webby, I have a perplexing situation. The pre-school at the church I attend will lose it's server and tech support by the end of this month. They are going to panic and get some expensive know-nothing if you don't come and rescue the day. Can you give me some fodder to tell the church decision makers that going with your services is all they need? They have had problems with the previous tech in getting a program(ProCare) to work with Windows 7. They've bounced around with Microsoft and Procare and nobody can solve the problem. We think it has to do with getting the proper updates installed from Microsoft. Can you give them the total tech support without physically being at their site if they go with your server and support? And what's the cost? I believe you can do it all, but I need to be sure. I can be your liaison if you need somebody with a modicum of intelligence at a computer there. I just need advance warning since I'm a little ways from the church. It'll be a pleasure to finally do some business with you after reading your letter all these years. Thanks, Chuck Dear Chuck We don't use Windoze servers. Strictly UNIX and Linux. I don't recommend or support Blonde Windows (W7). Microsoft does that. Also, I have no idea which ProCare you have problems with. ProCare is a service offered by Apple Computer for use at Apple retail stores And it probably isn't ProCare Carpet Care either. About all I can suggest is that they repent, promise to cut down on the sinning, exorcise Blonde Windows off that machine, and put XP on it. If that is beyond their skills, they can get a brand new DELL Vostro for $299 with XP pre-installed at the factory. It is a business machine, pre-configured for actual work. Industry and commerce don't like Blonde Windows and love that machine. By the way, I don't blame their former tech for telling them to stuff their Blonde Windows where the sun don't shine. If they repent and promise to wend their wicked ways, he may forgive them and come back. Alternately, they COULD get the Take Control of Windows 7 book, and learn how to cope with Blonde Windows. However, that would require some reading. By the way, due to total lack of interest in it, that link for Take Control of Windows 7 comes off tomorrow night. Have FUN! DearWebby
Take Control of Windows 7 A great 250 page eBook with over 170 tutorials and 40 free applications for optimizing W7. If you are stuck with W7, with this book you can civilize it and make it do what YOU want it to do. If you buy or give a W7 computer, this boook will greatly reduce the cussing. $10 discount for a limited time!
Lucy went to college. However, she really worried her folks because all she ever wrote home about was boys and good times. Her mother decided to have a serious talk with Lucy when she came home for a weekend. The mother started out by saying, "Now, dear, if you are only going to college to find a husband, it certainly will be expensive shopping." "Yes, like, you know, Mom," said Lucy, "you know, like, how like, addicted I am, to, like, malls."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Free Denim for Short Folks Free denim? We are a short family. It is hard to find the 29 inch length jeans that my husband wears for work and play. I have become an expert at cutting off and hemming the 30 inch to fit. I decided if I had to cut and hem, why not buy the longest length possible 36 inch or longer. I now have extra new denim for patching or other crafts. I also do the same for my own jeans. By MaggieGrace from Pittsburgh, PA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Said an innocent young lady, "Oh, I can see how astronomers figure out the distance of the stars and their size and temperatures and all that. What really gets me is how they find out what their names are!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An American scientist once visited the offices of the great Nobel Prize-winning physicist, Neils Bohr, in Copenhagen, and was amazed to find that over his desk a horseshoe was nailed to the wall. The American said with a nervous laugh, "Surely you don't believe that horseshoe will bring you good luck, do you, Professor Bohr?" Bohr chuckled. "I believe no such thing, my good friend. Not at all. I am scarcely likely to believe in such foolish nonsense. However, I am told that a horseshoe will bring you good luck whether you believe in it or not!"

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Are new social media just phishing scams? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Thank you Norm!

Today's tech support request is typical of many I get about
social networks. More and more people seem to be realizing, 
that most of that stuff is a big waste of time. 
Great, if somebody is bored, but definitely not something
essential or contributing towards what YOU want to 
accomplish.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Civilization is the process of reducing the infinite to the finite. --- Oliver Wendell Holmes If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age. --- George Burns
When the bookie asked the veteran horse player the secret of his consistent success, the gambler provided a simple explanation. "I'm just lucky, I guess. I turn to the racing page, close my eyes and stick a pin in it," he said. "Lucky!" the bookie exclaimed in disbelief. "But how did you pick this four-horse combination?" "Well," the gambler admitted, "I didn't have a pin, so I used a fork."
Duplicate File Cleaner Duplicate file cleaner is a powerful and professional grade duplicate file management solution, which helps you find and remove tons of duplicate pictures, music, videos and Outlook email messages. Get the Duplicate File Cleaner now!
Angus McIveer needed the aid of a specialist, but the fees appalled him. It was $250 for the first visit, and $100 for subsequent visits. Still, it was a matter of life and death, and besides, he had an idea. As he entered the doctor's office, the miser said cordially, "Well, Doctor, here I am -- again!" But the doctor had met this type before. He made a great show of examining the patient with minute thoroughness, and then said "Just continue with the same treatment as before!"
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Louis Cruz, 20, of Conover Street, Freehold Township, NJ Drunk abandoned overturned car, one shoe LAKEWOOD — Police charged Louis Cruz, 20, of Conover Street, Freehold Township, with driving while intoxicated after he abandoned his overturned car — and one sneaker — in a wooded area off Cedar Bridge Avenue early Saturday morning. Brick Police responded to a 6:15 a.m. report of an overturned car on Cedar Bridge Avenue at the Lakewood border. Brick Police officers Thomas Caufield, Scott Smith and Joseph Rossi found the abandoned white 2008 Honda Civic on the south side of the Cedar Bridge Avenue Garden State Parkway entrance ramp, said Lakewood Police Sgt. Steve Allaire. Brick Police found Cruz at 6:51 a.m. walking with one sneaker on Cedar Bridge Avenue near Route 70 in Brick. Cruz told police his car had been stolen and he was been beaten with his shoe during the altercation, Allaire said. Cruz was walking with another man when he was found. The unidentified man was also a passenger in the car, it was later learned, Allaire said. The passenger is not charged. Cruz and the passenger suffered only minor injuries, police said. Lakewood Patrolman Josh Spagnuolo charged Cruz with driving while intoxicated, underage drinking, reckless driving and leaving the scene of an accident. Cruz told police he was driving west on Cedar Bridge Avenue when he hit a patch of ice, crossed the lanes and went into the south side of the road where he hit a snow bank overturning the car, Allaire said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Donald Re: Social Phishing Dear Webby, Every day, it seems, somebody comes up with yet another social network, and then every bored bimbo and bozo, who don't really have anything to say, expect you to fill out your details, before you can read the bland drivel, that they posted. Is there a way to avoid that waste of time? Much of it seems to be just phishing for your info anyway. Donald Dear Donald Yes, there sure IS a way to avoid that waste of time. Whenever you get a mail telling you that somebody posted something for you somewhere, mark it as spam and delete it. If somebody has something worthwhile to tell you, they will use grown-ups style email, not anonymous baby babble. Have FUN! DearWebby
Take Control of Windows 7 A great 250 page eBook with over 170 tutorials and 40 free applications for optimizing W7. If you are stuck with W7, with this book you can civilize it and make it do what YOU want it to do. If you buy or give a W7 computer, this boook will greatly reduce the cussing. $10 discount for a limited time!
According to statistics, last year over 47 million American families paid a lot of money for things that looked funny and didn't work. Seven million of these were antiques; the rest were students.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Create Extra Freezer Space To save space and make extra room in my freezer, I remove the supermarket packaging. I cut out the label, and place the product and label, into a clear "snap lock" type sealed bag. The label tells me the item and date. The bag replaced the packaging which I have found to take up about 30-40% of the space. Also I separate bulk items into portion packs, each portion is separately bagged. By using the labeled bag last I always know content details of the separated bags. By George D. from Melbourne, Australia http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
There was this city doctor who started a practice in the countryside. He once had to go to a farm to attend to a sick farmer who lived there. After a few housecalls he stopped coming to the farm. The puzzled farmer finally phoned him to ask whats the matter, didn't he like him or somethin'. The doctor said, "No, its your ducks at the entrance... Every time I enter the farm, they insult me and call me a quack!" "If the shoe fits, wear it!" The farmer told him, and then called the old doctor from the next village.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A mother hopes that her daughter will get a better husband that she did, but she knows her son will never get as good a wife as his father did.

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Ha! 


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Awkward USB socket location 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, January 3, 2011

A reader asked why we need IP numbers.
For the same reason you need a phone number and street address.
So that you can be called and so that stuff can be sent to you.

Just like the phone numbers or the zip or postal code, each section
of the code narrows it down a bit more, from country to state to town
to street to house. The way the numbers are used, a message gets 
to you in the straightest possible line. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Most people think they're thinking when they're really just rearranging their prejudices. --- Oliver Wendell Holmes There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence. --- Henry Adams The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. --- Will Rogers
A student walked into our library area and glanced at the encyclopedia volumes stacked on a bookshelf. "What are all these books?" he asked. Somewhat surprised, I replied that they were encyclopedias. "Really?" he said. "You mean somebody printed out the whole CD?"
Duplicate File Cleaner Duplicate file cleaner is a powerful and professional grade duplicate file management solution, which helps you find and remove tons of duplicate pictures, music, videos and Outlook email messages. Get the Duplicate File Cleaner now!
A woman had a faithful cat. And one day, a man ran over the cat. So, he went to the old woman and said: "I'm terribly sorry about your cat. I'd like to replace him." "That so nice of you!" said the old woman, deeply touched. "How good are you at catching mice?"
Thanks to Dad for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jennifer Marie Riegler, 22, of Accomac, Va. Nude Nut HEBRON, Md. (UPI) -- Police in Maryland said they arrested a woman accused of stripping nude inside a convenience store and sexually harassing others in the shop. The Wicomico County Sheriff's Office said Jennifer Marie Riegler, 22, of Accomac, Va., took off all her clothes shortly before 9 a.m. EST Dec. 18 at the Royal Farms store in Hebron, WBOC-TV, Salisbury, Md., reported. Investigators said Riegler made sexual comments to customers and employees. They said she engaged in sexually suggestive behavior and employees helped her put her clothes back on after she lay down on the floor. Police arrived to take Reigler into custody and found her eating a piece of fruit she had not purchased from the store. Officers said she kicked one of them in the groin and another in the hand while she was being placed under arrest. Reigler was charged with disorderly conduct, indecent exposure, disturbing the peace, theft of less than $100, fourth-degree sex offense, malicious destruction of property valued less than $500 and six counts of second-degree assault. She was jailed in lieu of $25,000 bond. She will not have to worry about rent or heating bills this winter.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Vera P Re: Awkward USB sockets Dear Webby, Why do they put the USB ports at the most awkward spots at the BACK of a computer? I curse those morons every time I have to crawl under my desk with a flashlight to plug something in. Could I drill a hole in the front and glue that silly plug in there? Vera P Dear Vera There is a much better solution. Get yourself a 4, 6, 8 or 10 port USB hub and a 10 foot high speed USB cable, and a little strip of double-sided tape. Plug the cable into the computer and snake it up to the monitor. With 10 feet of cable you should be able to route it in a way so that it doesn't look too messy or get in the way. Then plug the USB hub into it and glue the hub to the side of the monitor in a way so that the OUT ports of the hub are facing towards you. Now you can plug and unplug things without bashing your head against the underside of your desk. Have FUN! DearWebby
Take Control of Windows 7 A great 250 page eBook with over 170 tutorials and 40 free applications for optimizing W7. If you are stuck with W7, with this book you can civilize it and make it do what YOU want it to do. If you buy or give a W7 computer, this boook will greatly reduce the cussing. $10 discount for a limited time!
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm goin' to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes." When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you." "That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, kid, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Using Smaller Amounts of Toiletries A dime sized shampoo works great for me, even when my hair is long, and it saves money too. Just put a dime sized plop of shampoo in your hand, rub it, and spread it over your damp hair, and nope, it does not usually lather in your hair. I don't need much water to rinse it either. I have found that using less shampoo like that, my hair looked great and my shampoo bottle lasts for a very long time. By Kas from Rockford, MI You can go a step further yet! Get a pump action dispenser! They are available empty, and some shampoos, soaps and lotions also come in pump action dispensers. Once they are empty, just refill them from big econo size jugs. If your pump action dispenser squirts too much per stroke, you can limit the stroke by wrapping a few turns of coat hanger wire around the pump stem. Have FUN! DearWebby http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
One morning a customer entered my flower shop and ordered a bouquet for his wife. "No card is necessary," he instructed us. "She'll know who sent them." The delivery truck hadn't even returned to the store when the phone rang. It was the customer's wife. "Who sent the flowers?" she asked. After explaining that the customer had requested that no card be included, I considered the matter closed. But a bit later, she came rushing in the front door. "You've got to tell me who sent the flowers," she demanded, "before my husband gets home for lunch!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Shortly after arriving at the University of Washington, Babs joined some new friends on a trip to nearby Vancouver, British Columbia. It was her first trip outside the United States. At the border, a guard asked how long they would stay in Canada. Knowing it would be after midnight when they returned, she asked, "How late will we be able to get back across the border?" "Just about any time, Ma'am," the guard said. "...IF they let you back in!"

» Amazing Facts





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How to take pictrues of the Northern Lights 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, January 2, 2011

Thanks to Moe for the link to the new counter, that you see
at the bottom of the side menu! It doesn't show the 
subscribers, just the visits by those people, who can't get
subscriptions. 

Judging by those figures, there is a lot more censorship
going on in the US than in China.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever." --- Francois Muriac "The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." --- Dolly Parton He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise. --- Lao-Tzu
A new baby, when he was still in hospital, said to the little babe lying next to him, 'I know I am a boy!' The other baby said, 'What! How DO you know that??' 'Well, it's under the blanket; I can show you...' 'Show me! Show me!' 'SSST! Wait till the nurses are gone...' A few minutes later: 'I can show you now. Watch!' Slowly the baby lifted up his blanket, the other baby peeking under it. 'Can you see it?' The first one said, 'You see it, down there?' 'But WHAT should I see?' 'I'm wearing blue socks!!'
Duplicate File Cleaner Duplicate file cleaner is a powerful and professional grade duplicate file management solution, which helps you find and remove tons of duplicate pictures, music, videos and Outlook email messages. Get the Duplicate File Cleaner now!
Pete from New York arrived in Los Angeles. In an airport taxi cab, Pete asked the driver... "Say, is this really a healthful place?" "It sure is," the cabby replied. "When I came here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed." "That's wonderful!" said the tourist , "How long have you been here?" "I was born here."
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Robert M. Morales, 36, in Mesa, AZ Drunk parked in the middle of the road for a nap A San Tan Valley area man was arrested Christmas morning after officers found him asleep and parked in the middle of the Mesa street, court records state. Mesa Police responded to a call around 1:30 a.m. about a car in the middle of First Avenue near Main Street and Mesa Drive and found Robert M. Morales, 36, asleep behind the wheel of his vehicle. According to court records, Morales' shoes were off, the driver's seat was reclined, the key was in the ignition, and the vehicle was in drive without any lights on. When an officer asked Morales why he was in the middle of the street, he said that "he could sleep wherever he wanted," records state. He told other officers his name was Robert Rios. The officer smelled alcohol on Morales and said his eyes were bloodshot and watery. Morales also slurred his speech and could not keep still, records state. However, he refused to perform any sobriety tests without talking with a lawyer beforehand. Officers found an empty can of Tecate beer on the floor behind the driver's seat and a half-empty bottle of Jägermeister sitting on the front passenger seat, according to records. During a search, police also found a small baggy containing a crystal substance, which later tested positive for methamphetamine, in the front left pocket of Morales's jeans. Throughout the search of his person, police said Morales continually leaned into the vehicle and buckled his knees. When officers had Morales stand, he kicked at them and struck one officer's calf three times. Morales is expected to face charges of possession of a dangerous drug, assault on a law enforcement officer, false reporting to law enforcement, driving under the influence and driving under the influence with drugs on his body. Morales had previous arrests including possession of marijuana, assault, driving with suspended license and making false reports, according to police reports.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bria Re: How do you take pictures of Northern Lights? Dear Webby You showed some fantastic Northern Lights pictures. When I try to take pictures of them, all I get is black. Bria Dear Bria For a start, you need a fairly good camera, that has a large lens, and that can take time exposures, preferably with click-on click-off. A remote control is nice, but not necessary. You also need a tripod or sand baggie to hold the camera perfectly steady. Once you have all that, set the camera for the biggest apperture it has, the lowest F number. Set the camera up or nestle it into your sand baggie, click it on and step back, wait ten seconds and click it off. Look at the picture and see if the lights of that night need a longer or shorter exposure. If your camera has a hold-down exposure, then you need a remote control, which are getting hard to find. A way around that is to glue a pencil eraser onto the clicker, and put a rubber band around the camera, so that you can put the rubber band over the eraser. Cover the lens, put the rubber band over the eraser, wait a second or two for things to stabilize, and move the hat or whatever you use to cover the lens. After the ten or whatever seconds you choose, cover the lens, and THEN move the rubber band off the clicker. Have FUN! DearWebby
Take Control of Windows 7 A great 250 page eBook with over 170 tutorials and 40 free applications for optimizing W7. If you are stuck with W7, with this book you can civilize it and make it do what YOU want it to do. If you buy or give a W7 computer, this boook will greatly reduce the cussing. $10 discount for a limited time!
A lawyer awakened after a serious operation only to find himself in a room with all the blinds drawn. "Why are all the blinds closed?" he asked the doctor. "Well," the surgeon responded, "They're fighting a huge fire across the street, and we didn't want you to wake up and think the operation was a failure."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Calendars Go On Sale After New Year's Buy your calendars and datebooks in January, not before, because everything goes on SALE. I splurged last year and got leather notebooks and a lighthouse calendar for 50% at Barnes and Noble. Other years, I have waited until they hit the dollar store and made do until then. By Pamphyila from Los Angeles http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Sarah sidled up to a guest at the party. She had heard him addressed as doctor and now she said diffidently, "Doctor, may I ask a question?" "Certainly," he said. "Lately," said Sarah, "I have been having a funny pain right here over the heart..." The guest interrupted uncomfortably and said, "I'm terribly sorry, Sarah, but the truth is, I'm a doctor of philosophy." "Oh," said the Sarah, "I'm sorry!" She turned away, but then overcome with curiosity, she turned back. "Just one more question, doctor. Tell me, what kind of disease is philosophy?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
In the midst of a quarrel, the wife bitterly yells at her husband, "I was such a fool when I married you." Retorts her husband:” Yes, I know. But I was in love and didn"t notice until after the wedding."

» Discover the forest





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How easy are postcard sites? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year,  !

If you need some New Year's cards, go to http://dawna.com



Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"The only limits are, as always, those of vision." --- James Broughton
A friend was laid up at home with the flu. His fiancee called and volunteered to come over and fix dinner and play nursemaid to him. He declined, not wanting to pass on the flu to her. "Okay honey", she told him, "I'll wait till after we get married. Then we can spend the rest of our lives making each other sick!"
Duplicate File Cleaner Duplicate file cleaner is a powerful and professional grade duplicate file management solution, which helps you find and remove tons of duplicate pictures, music, videos and Outlook email messages. Get the Duplicate File Cleaner now!
Five-year-old Bobbie was alarmed when he heard a lot of car horns honking enthusiastically. "People beep their horns when a couple is getting married," his mother explained. "Why?" he asked. "As a warning?"
Thanks to Christine in Australia for this picture of December flowers. Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 41 year old woman in Callaway, Florida Wife beats hubby with a rock CALLAWAY — A woman was arrested Wednesday morning for beating her husband with a rock, claiming she didn’t want him to smoke a cigarette because of his poor health. “A woman can only take so much,” she told a deputy. According to a Bay County Sheriff’s Office incident report, the couple’s 18-year-old daughter called 9-1-1 about 11:31 a.m. Wednesday when she saw her mother beating her father with a rock. A deputy said that, when they arrived at the scene off North Lakewood Drive, he saw the victim sitting “Indian fashion” on the ground in front of the residence; he was hunched over with his hands over his head, trying to protect himself. His wife was standing behind him. She kicked him in the hip and was using a rock to hit him in the head, the report said. A deputy told the 41-year-old woman to get off her husband a few times, but she continued to strike him and scream at him, telling him “to give her the cigarettes,” the report said. The man, age 51, had cuts and bruises, including a bleeding laceration on the top of his right wrist, the report said. Both husband and wife told deputies they had been suffering with the flu recently and had not felt well. The night before, they got into an argument and the woman scratched her husband’s face, the report said. When he mentioned going outside to smoke a cigarette that morning, the wife became angry and told him “he did not need to be smoking since he is sick,” according to the report. She followed him outside and began to argue with him, then jumped on him and began hitting him in the head with “a small ceramic bird,” the report said. She grabbed other items to hit him, finally picking up a rock. The man refused treatment by EMS. He said “he knew how to take care of himself,” the report said. The woman was charged with aggravated battery domestic violence. She said she had been dealing with “a lot of (expletive)” for some time and “a woman can only take so much,” the report said. She said she was upset because he had the flu and she told him not to smoke, but he went outside and smoked anyway. She added, “A person can only take so much before they snap,” the report said. Told what she was being charged with, she responded, “Yeah, I hit him with the rock,” according to the report. The rock was submitted into evidence.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ellen Re: How difficult are postcard sites? Dear Webby I loved getting all those gorgeous postcards for Christmas and New Year. How difficult is it to make and run a postcard site? I learned HTML from that link on the left side in one day and can put together a recipe page faster than writing it down by hand. So, what is all involved? Ellen Dear Ellen For people, who don't run screaming and sniveling to hide behind their mother's apron, when they hear HTML mentioned, it's really easy. Most of it is done with pre-made templates, that you dress up and decorate. Not a big deal at all. Where you do need a bit of basic HTML is for putting in the names of your card pictures. As you probably found out, pictures are easy and nothing to freak out over. The templates and the service of storing, sending and delivering the cards is not free any longer.We used to have a Free Basic service, but that just created unfair competition to people, who put in some honest work to build big sites. Since last summer the PRO service is $12 a month or $96 per year. That works out to 26 cents per day. That seems to be just enough to keep Millions of kids on hotmail from stealing your thunder, and your visitors. Have FUN! DearWebby
Take Control of Windows 7 A great 250 page eBook with over 170 tutorials and 40 free applications for optimizing W7. If you are stuck with W7, with this book you can civilize it and make it do what YOU want it to do. If you buy or give a W7 computer, this boook will greatly reduce the cussing. $10 discount for a limited time!
A Russian cosmonaut has an emergency during his reentry into earth's atmosphere and his space craft crash lands in the Australian bush, way out in the middle of nowhere. After what seems like an eternity, he wakes up in a hospital. He sees a very large, somewhat gruff looking nurse approaching him as he lay in his cot. "Did I come here to die?" he says with a deep sense of resignation and fear. "No," the Aussie nurse replies, "You came here yister-die.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pack Up Christmas For New Years New Year's Christmas decorations usually make me a little sad. So this year I have decided to make a new tradition. Throughout the week between Christmas and New Year's, we are taking down some of the decorations we have throughout our home, and ceremoniously storing them away. On New Year's Eve we will slowly take down our tree, counting down as we go! This would be great for children to participate in. We obviously don't go out and party on New Year's Eve. We usually stay at home with some food trays, and watch the festivities on TV. This way, we are "prepared" for the New Year to come! :D By AHA! from Sterling, PA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A teen-aged boy with spiked hair, nose ring and baggy clothes was overheard telling a friend, "I don't really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from dragging me everywhere with them."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited. "Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!" the man said. "It's okay, Dad" the boy said. "The police car right behind us did the same thing."
Wishing everyone Peace of Mind, Heart, Friends, Families & Foes. Dianne

» Bubble Magic





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What is an IP number? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, December 31, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

If you need some New Year's cards, go to http://dawna.com
I just put up 56 with a suitable winter theme, 
many of them pictures, that I have used here, and
none of them overlaid with sappy messages. You
can add those yourself, if required.



Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault." --- John Henry Newman "Count your age with friends but not with years." --- Socratex
Just before a soldier made his first parachute jump, his sergeant reminded him, "Count to ten and pull the first rip cord. If it snarls, pull the second rip cord for the auxiliary chute. After you land, our truck will pick you up." The paratrooper took a deep breath and jumped. He counted to ten, and pulled the first cord. Nothing happened. He pulled the second cord. Again, nothing happened. As he careened crazily earthward, he said to himself: "Man. Nothing goes right. I'll bet that truck won't be there either!" TWACK he bombed into a huge manure pile. Just as he burrowed his way out and saw daylight again, the head of his buddy popped out of the manure a few feet away and in his slow Texan drawl sang out: "...an one ahs TAN!" ------------------- When I was a kid, I heard that story about Swiss paratroopers. The only difference was that instead of a waiting truck, it was a waiting bicycle, and the slow talking buddy was from Bern, the Swiss capital.
Duplicate File Cleaner Duplicate file cleaner is a powerful and professional grade duplicate file management solution, which helps you find and remove tons of duplicate pictures, music, videos and Outlook email messages. Get the Duplicate File Cleaner now!
Barbie, a waitress, decided to put her matchmaking skills to the test with our mutual friend Mike. She figured that Sandy, another friend who seemed to have much in common with Mike, would be an ideal date. One day Mike came into the restaurant when Sandy was also there. Barbie dragged Mike over to Sandy's table and introduced the two. Then she watched as Mike put his arm around the young woman and said in his best mock-seductive voice, "Helloooo, Sandy. What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" "You guys know each other?" Barbie asked. "We sure do," said Mike. "She's my sister."
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Pastor Sandy McGriff, 52, in Dallas, Texas Pastor caught in Christmas Eve break-in A Dallas pastor accused of stealing more than $10,000 worth of fur coats, designer purses and electronics from a church member's home on Christmas Eve says that she's really innocent. "I thought I was helping," Sandy McGriff, 52, told reporters by way of explaining why she was found at the home of Serita Agnew by police last week. McGriff, pastor of the Church of the Living God, spent part of Christmas Day in jail, and was released on $26,000 bail. Police responded to a neighbor's 911 call around 5:30 pm on Friday, according to The Dallas Morning news. Officers found a broken kitchen window and saw McGriff carrying two fur coats out of the house. They also found a laptop and three purses in McGriff's Jaguar. From the Morning News' initial report: McGriff told officers that a friend had sent her to pick up her coats and that her arm was injured because she could not find a key under the doormat and had to break in through the window. Police called the resident, Serita Agnew, who told them she had not given anyone permission to go into her house or take her property.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rosemarie Re: What is an IP number? Dear Webby I don't know what IP stands for.. Can U enlighten me.. Happy New Year to you.. Tschüss...Rosemarie Dear Rosemarie An IP adress is a unique number, which identifies a computer and its location on the internet, like a very precise, world wide postal code. Depending on your Internet account, you can have a fixed IP number, that is reserved for you, or you can have a dynamic IP number. With a dynamic IP number, your ISP just assigns the next free number to you, whenever you go onto the net. ISPs keep records of who had which number at what times. Have FUN! DearWebby
Take Control of Windows 7 A great 250 page eBook with over 170 tutorials and 40 free applications for optimizing W7. If you are stuck with W7, with this book you can civilize it and make it do what YOU want it to do. If you buy or give a W7 computer, this boook will greatly reduce the cussing. $10 discount for a limited time!
An effusive client brought a litter of golden-retriever puppies to my veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming. She loved them so much, she couldn't keep from remarking about their cute habits. As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest. I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and moistened each dog's head when I had finished. After the fourth puppy, I noticed my hitherto talkative client had grown silent. As I sprinkled the last pup's head, the woman leaned forward and whispered, "I never realized they had to be baptized."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pack Up Christmas For New Years New Year's Christmas decorations usually make me a little sad. So this year I have decided to make a new tradition. Throughout the week between Christmas and New Year's, we are taking down some of the decorations we have throughout our home, and ceremoniously storing them away. On New Year's Eve we will slowly take down our tree, counting down as we go! This would be great for children to participate in. We obviously don't go out and party on New Year's Eve. We usually stay at home with some food trays, and watch the festivities on TV. This way, we are "prepared" for the New Year to come! :D By AHA! from Sterling, PA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Thanks to beth for this story: During a weekly weight-loss class, the group leader was extolling the merits of the program's prepared-food products. She raved about the rich, delicious flavor of the imitation chocolate fudge and the nondairy pop tarts, assuring us that we could eat them without the least fear of ruining our diets. The woman next to me nodded her head emphatically and then whispered, "They're even better when you spread peanut butter and jam on them!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
According to women... "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with." According to men.... "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a head- ache."

» Otter Chaos





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How do I find my IP number? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, December 30, 2010

Sure was winterly today! Blizzard and fog and -15 to -18. None
of that gullible warming here, just old-fashioned winter. I envy
those of you in Australia and New Zealand, who can swim in
the lakes and rivers, instead of walking on them. 
Just be careful not to make it look like fun, or the fuddy-duddies
will send the cops out after you! See today's Bonehead
Award.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"A man is only as old as the woman he feels." --- Groucho Marx The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. --- Lucille Ball Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting. --- John Russell
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.
Duplicate File Cleaner Duplicate file cleaner is a powerful and professional grade duplicate file management solution, which helps you find and remove tons of duplicate pictures, music, videos and Outlook email messages. Get the Duplicate File Cleaner now!
A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones had sent to him by an usher. The note read: "Bill Jones having gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety." Failing to observe the punctuation, he startled his audience by announcing: "Bill Jones having gone to see his wife desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety."
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 3 teenagers in Ipswitch, Australia Dogooders freaking about teens matressing on river IPSWICH, Australia (UPI) -- Australian police said three teenagers were charged with public nuisance after attempting to float down a river on air mattresses. Police said two 17-year-olds and an 18-year-old were arrested after getting onto the flood augmented Bremer River in Ipswich and attempting to float to Brisbane, a distance of more than 18 miles, on inflatable bed mattresses, the Australian Broadcasting Corp. reported. Investigators said they received 10 emergency calls about the teens, who were captured about 9 miles from where they started. Police said the teens were arrested for the "foolish and dangerous" stunt and will appear in court on public nuisance charges. Whenever the drought ends, like it just did, the Bremer River has enough water, so that the 18 mile journey can be completed all on water. They couldn't call out the Navy, even though the teens appeared to be enjoying themselves, because the water in the river is not deep enough for the navy, however, some officers apparently waded out and captured and arrested them. Unlike NorthAmerica, where tubing, mattressing and white-water rafting is popular, in that part of Australia it seems to be too much like having fun and is frowned upon.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Martha Re: Finding my IP number Dear Webby How do I find out what IP number my ISP has assigned to me ? Thanks Martha Dear Martha You can go to http://webby.com/ip and I will instantly show you your IP address. Have FUN! DearWebby
Take Control of Windows 7 A great 250 page eBook with over 170 tutorials and 40 free applications for optimizing W7. If you are stuck with W7, with this book you can civilize it and make it do what YOU want it to do. If you buy or give a W7 computer, this boook will greatly reduce the cussing. $10 discount for a limited time!
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked impressed. "Gee," he asked, "How do you start a flood?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recycling Poinsettias The holidays are all done and the pretty poinsettias are put away. My church had decorated the stage area with these beautiful 3 foot high poinsettias. I called my church to ask what they were going to do with them after the celebrations were over. I was told that after January 6, I could take my pick. I hauled off 5 of the wonderfully colorful plants and spaced them around my lanai. What does your church do with the plants and flowers that they decorate the church with? By soyzicks from HI http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Once when I was a teenager and I had to have an emergency operation, Pop was there and was watching every move the doctor made. At one point he asked, "What's that?" The doctor explained, "This is an anaesthetic. After he gets this he won't know a thing." "Save your time, Doc," Pop explained, "He don't know nothing now."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the copilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. "Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed a Million years ago when a lump of nickel and iron, roughly 150 feet in diameter and weighing 300,000 tons, struck the earth at about 40,000 miles an hour, scattering white-hot debris for miles in every direction. The hole measures nearly a mile across and is 570 feet deep." From the cabin, a passenger was heard to exclaim, "Wow! It just missed the freeway!"

» Soundboard





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Faster Way To Pour Beer! 

This is cool!


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Haunted Icons 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Thank you JRB!

Quite a few asked me how to make Silver Water. 
You need some reasonably pure silver, not regular coins. 
Yes, I know, the silver price quadrupled since the election,
but you don't need much, just a few micrograms. A foot
of very fine wire will last you a lifetime.

You can get fine silver wire from for as little as $3 per foot from
http://www.ccsilver.com/silver/superfines.html

Then you need some melted snow or distilled water. Snow is 
cheap these days, and if you are in Florida, fridge frost
will do fine too.

Here is the high-tech method for connecting everything.


Let it run 5 to 15 minutes, or until the water has a light
golden sheen. That's all there is to it.

Silver Water is a powerful antibiotic and works great, 
if you use it only when needed, when your body's immune 
system needs a boost or helping hand. 

If you use it constantly as a preventative medicine, it 
could make your immune system lazy.
Also, if abused by taking it daily for decades, the silver 
can accumulate under the skin and make it look grey. 

Just taking it a few times a year does not have any 
side effects.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"A century ago women wore unmentionables; today they wear nothing to speak of." --- Socratex "A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally." --- Lillian Day
Sandie just skyped me and told me.... I just finished talking with my friend in Minneapolis. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling.... His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in...
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Things were rather slow so Bobbie, the reporter for the local newspaper, went to the vocational school and visited each classroom. But things were rather slow there too. In Tailoring nobody had sown through any interesting body parts, just the instructor had sown her sleve to a student's workpiece again, but she already had published a similar picture. No blood in carpentry. Nobody had parked any engine on their foot in automotive, and the guy with the transmission on his chest under the Edsel had not moved since last month. As a last resort, Bobby went to Hospitality to see if their new French chef had at least some freebie lunch. No such luck. All the students were busy stirring some gluey gunk in huge soup pots with big wooden spoons. Bobbie asked the chef if it was a French tradition to use wooden spoons for stirring. "No", he replied. "Management deezisson." Bobby asked why management dared to interfere with his superior skills. "If ve hafe 30 of zese bimbos beatin metal pots wizz metal spoonz, zen I go crezie, an zen I kill zem all before zey finish pay for zeir tuition, an ze management, zey dount like dat."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Joseph Andrew Hoffman, 25 of Vancouver, Wash. Christmas Reveler Reports Himself To Iowa City Police For Being Too Drunk To Drive Published: December 28, 2010 Iowa City police say a 25-year-old man called 911 to report a drunken driver: himself. According to the Iowa City Press-Citizen, police say Francisco Castro called the emergency number around 8:30 on Christmas morning. Officers found Castro sitting in the driver's seat of a running vehicle. Police say Castro told officers that he called 911 because he thought he was too drunk to drive. A follow-up test showed his blood-alcohol level was nearly three times the legal limit. Unfortunately, even if he wasn't driving but just warming up, they will throw the book at him. He was in care and control of a running vehicle while drunk. He shouldhave warmed up in a cab.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Joy Re: Haunted computer Dear Webby I let Gramma send some postcards from my computer, and now it's haunted! I had all my work icons arranged just right along the left margin, nice and tight in clusters for different projects, some of them slightly overlapping to save space but still accessible. Now they are all in rigid formation, all apart, and when I drag them to where they should be, they jump back! HELP! Joy Dear Joy Gramma seems to have accidentally turned on "Auto-Arrange", one of the least useful features. Just right-click on any blank area on the desktop, choose ARRANGE ICONS, and take the checkmark off "Auto-Arrange". Done. Now they will stay where you put them. Once you got all the icons back where they belong, you might want to get "Save My Desktop" from my Toolbox at http://webby.com/tools It is free. Have FUN! DearWebby
Take Control of Windows 7 A great 250 page eBook with over 170 tutorials and 40 free applications for optimizing W7. If you are stuck with W7, with this book you can civilize it and make it do what YOU want it to do. If you buy or give a W7 computer, this boook will greatly reduce the cussing. $10 discount for a limited time!
During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying until she glanced at my grandparents. My grandmother had reached over to my grandfather's wheelchair and gently touched his hand. That was all it took to start my mother's tears flowing. After the wedding, Mom went over to my grandmother and told her how that tender gesture triggered her outburst. "Well, I'm sorry to ruin your moment," Grandmother replied, "but George hates beeing wheeled about when he is sleeping and I had promised to wake him up a few minutes before it was over."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stock Up On Sale Christmas Candy None of us need that Christmas candy that's on sale dirt cheap after Christmas, but be creative and think about the possible uses for it. I have bought chocolate Kisses, M & M's, etc., at 50-75% off. I take them home and use them to bake with. Use them in the place of chocolate chips in cookies. Chop up those Santas and add to cookies, or shave them up to use on top of pudding desserts. There are a lot of uses for them. By Terri from WV http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look like there will be any more." Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago." Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she asked about?" The clerk smiled and said... "Muggings in the store."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
If you have trouble getting your children's attention, just sit down and look comfortable.

» Fashionistas





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Anti-Glare screen 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Thank you Louis!

"Swine flu pandemic sweeping through England..."
Yeah, sure. I take those headlines with a big grain of salt. 
It's flu season in a cold and clammy country, same as every
year. The old Romans complained about that too, and after 
a few years decided to go home to sunny Italy.

And naturally, people, who had their immune system weakened
by flu shots, will be the first to catch and spread the new
and improved designer-flu of the year.

Not me. I'm busy, no time for flu.
When I notice the first sign of a flu trying to build up to
nuisance level, an occasional slight tingling at the edges 
of the lips, I dig out the real silver (100% pure bank siver,
not regular coins or cutlery), melt some snow or get 
distilled water, and make a big mug of silver water. 
One mug of that, a second one half a day later, 
and flu season is usually over for me.

If I am run down from too much work and not enough sun, 
or if I didn't catch the flu at the onset, or if I am traveling
and have no access to my silver, then I use the Hillbilly
method. I clean out my ears really well, spray some WD40
into them 5 minutes before a shower, and once they are
good and dry again, use an eye dropper or a bottle cap
to pour 5 - 6 drops of Hydrogen Peroxide into each ear.

Quite unlike from when you pour Hydrogen peroxide onto an
infected cut, it does not hurt or burn in the ears. It feels
cool. Apparently the flu bugs nest in the tube, that runs from
the ear to the back of the mouth. Wiping them out in their
nest gives your body a chance to cope with and wipe out 
what is left of them. 

Naturally, bringing up your vitamin levels by pigging out on
a big salad helps too. So does sunshine. The more you can
stack the deck in your favor, the faster you will beat the flu.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error." --- John Kenneth Galbraith "It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them." --- Mark Twain "Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud." --- Sophocles "The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit." --- Eric Porterfield ----------------- ( The technical term for that is: "Percussive maintenance" )
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?" The tower responded, "Who is calling?" The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?" The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock. If it is an Air Force, it is 1500 hours. If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon. If it is Coast Guard, it's still light outside. If it's a Cessna: It's four hours of golfing light left. If it's a Piper: Pub's open."
Duplicate File Cleaner Duplicate file cleaner is a powerful and professional grade duplicate file management solution, which helps you find and remove tons of duplicate pictures, music, videos and Outlook email messages. Get the Duplicate File Cleaner now!
The CIA lost track of one of its agents, and called in one of their top spy hunters. The CIA boss says, "All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he's somewhere in Ireland. If you think you've located him, tell him the code words, 'The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.' If it's really him, he'll answer, 'Yes, and for mist at noon as well.'" So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in a bar in Dublin. He says to the bartender: "Maybe you can help me. I'm looking for a guy named Murphy." The bartender replies, "You're going to have to be more specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named Murphy. There's Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop on the next block. There's Murphy the Banker, who's president of our local savings bank. There's Murphy the Blacksmith, who works at the stables. And, as a matter of fact, my name is Murphy, too." Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the code words on the bartender, so he says, "The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning." The bartender replies, "Oh, you're looking for Murphy the Spy. He used to live on the top floor in 205, right down the street on the left, but he went into hiding. " No more was forthcoming from the bartender until the spyhunter paid for a round. "It's going to be misty around noon as well."
Click through the picture to the large version. Hvalfjorour fjord in Akranes near Reykjavik
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Joseph Andrew Hoffman, 25 of Vancouver, Wash. $450K in drugs found on man passed out in taxi Chicago, Ill A frustrated cabdriver unwittingly delivered a man carrying a bag that was allegedly filled with nearly a half-million dollars in drugs to officers at the Rogers Park District police station over the weekend. The driver, who asked not to be named, said he picked up a fare in the Lincoln Park neighborhood on Saturday afternoon and took the man to an address in Rogers Park. The passenger, later identified by police as Joseph Andrew Hoffman, 25, chatted on his phone for about half the trip but was unconscious by the time they arrived at the destination, the cabdriver said. The cabdriver said he tried to rouse the man for about 10 minutes before driving to the police station. Police searched the man's bag and found bottles of a "clear, crystalline substance" connected by wires to a "power source," which together apparently amounted to a miniature methamphetamine lab, according to a police report. The street value of the drugs in the man's bag was nearly $450,000, the police report said. Hoffman, of Vancouver, Wash., was taken to St. Francis Hospital in Evanston. Police said he consented to a search of a residence in the 800 block of West Dakin Street, where officers found a gallon jug filled with suspected GHB, the so-called date rape drug; small bags of marijuana; $1,401 in cash; and other drug paraphernalia, the report said. Hoffman was charged with six felony counts and on Sunday was ordered held on $100,000 bail by a Cook County judge. The cab that brought Hoffman to police was searched by a Chicago Fire Department hazardous materials team. Police didn't tell him what they had found on the passenger when they returned the car, the cabbie said. "They said they found a lot of bad stuff. My only concern was to collect my fare," the cabdriver said Sunday. "It was going on and on, and I didn't even get my full fare."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Fran Re: Glare filter Dear Webby I can't move the monitor for my computer because it's more or less built into the receptionist desk at work, and I certainly can't move the window to cut the reflections. Have you got any ideas that might help, and that are CHEAP ? Fran Dear Fran Get some large size black pantyhose, stretch it over the monitor really tightly and secure it with duck tape. It doesn't look that great, but it works well enough that they might authorize the $30 or so, that a store bought glare filter costs. Have FUN! DearWebby
Take Control of Windows 7 A great 250 page eBook with over 170 tutorials and 40 free applications for optimizing W7. If you are stuck with W7, with this book you can civilize it and make it do what YOU want it to do. If you buy or give a W7 computer, this boook will greatly reduce the cussing. $10 discount for a limited time!
Ronnie volunteered to strip the bricks from the exterior of in-law's house. One morning he was out front chipping away when a man came by looking for his father-in-law. "He's not here," Ronnie said. The man thanked him, watched him remove a few more bricks, and said, "I'll bet next time they'll leave the key for you."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Lists for Planning My husband teases me because I have inherited a family trait of making lists for everything! It sure helps when we go shopping, so I know exactly what we need for recipes, etc. Sometimes I bring photocopies of recipes I will be baking, so that if I decide to double the recipes, I will know exactly how much to buy. Before a big event or trip, I always make separate lists for "Things To Do", "Things To Buy", and "Things That Must Be Packed". I don't know what I would do without my lists. I make copies of all of the lists, I put these lists in separate large zipped freezer bags, and put one set of copies folded individually in my purse, so they stay in my purse, and are handy for shopping trips. I find making a list of "Things That Must Be Packed" handy when you are done your trip and don't want to forget any items at the Hotel or relatives house. By Ilove2sew932 from Chatham, ON http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
When the Jones family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked the little five-year-old how he liked the new place. "It's really cool," he said. "I have my own room, Mike has his own room, and Jamie has her own room. Only mom still has to bunk with dad."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Most women would rather have beauty than brains, because beauty gets them close enough, that men stop thinking anyway.

» Show Dogs





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MailWasher slowed down 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, December 27, 2010

From this distance, the air and rail and freeway traffic problems
in Europe seem rather funny. 
Record snow falls? No, not really. Just gradually ramping up to
what was the norm in the 60's and 70's.

Well, it couldn't be the increase in traffic, since that would 
be helping to blow the snow off the runways and roads. 
Also, last time I checked, there is no shortage of salt in the
ocean, and many underdeveloped countries are selling salt
at record low prices.

Turns out that in the 60's they relied on snow ploughs and
snow blowers. During the warm ripple, they switched to salt.
Now they are finding out the hard way, that salt does not
work well enough when it is really cold.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
When you're through changing, you're through. -- Bruce Barton Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand. -- Putt's Law
Dentist to Patient: "Would you help me out? I'd like you to give a few of your loudest screams?" Patient: "Why, Doc? I didn't feel a thing!" Dentist: "I know, but there are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the five o'clock foot- ball game."
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Sitting behind a couple of nuns at the football game, three men decided to badger the nuns in an effort, to get them to move. In a very loud voice, the first guy said, "I think I'm going to move to Utah. There are only 100 nuns living there." The second guy spoke up and said, "Well, I want to go to Montana, as there are only 50 nuns living there." The third guy spoke up and said, "I want to go to Idaho; there are only 25 nuns living there." One of the nuns turned around, looked at the men, and calmly asked, "Why don't you go to hell? There aren't any nuns there!"
Yesterday (26th) evening from my office window Click through the picture to the large version. Chinook! The wild, torn up low storm coulds are from the warm Chinook coming down from the mountains and literally tearing up the snow. Above that is the usual cler band, and where that torn up snow and wind bounces off the foothills back up to jet altitude, you see the "Chinook Arch". And a week from now, don't get caught in Toronto or Chicago!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a drunk from St Andrews, Manitoba Drunk snowmobiler falls after taunting RCMP Last Updated: Friday, December 24, 2010 | 10:30 AM CST An intoxicated man was arrested after falling off his snowmobile in front of RCMP in rural Manitoba. The 35-year-old man was taunting officers, swearing at them and spinning his snowmobile around in circles in a hotel parking lot in Petersfield, Man., at about 12:30 a.m. Friday morning. The man was so intoxicated that he eventually fell off of his machine directly in front of police while doing circles around them. He was arrested for impaired operation of a motor vehicle and his snowmobile was impounded and towed. The man, from the Rural Municipality of St. Andrews, was later released from custody, but they impounded his 2011 Polaris and he is scheduled to appear in provincial court in Selkirk in February. Very dumb idea. The RCMP not only have the fastest snowmobiles in the country, many of them confiscated from smart-asses, but they have airborne back-up.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Frieda Re: Slow mailwasher Dear Webby My MailWasher, -Thanks for telling me about it ! - , is getting really slow. What now ? Frieda Dear Frieda Dump the black-list. Since spammers rarely forge the same sending address twice, it of not much use anyway. You can even set the black-list to self-clean and age off in 24 or 36 hours. Have FUN! DearWebby
Take Control of Windows 7 A great 250 page eBook with over 170 tutorials and 40 free applications for optimizing W7. If you are stuck with W7, with this book you can civilize it and make it do what YOU want it to do. If you buy or give a W7 computer, this boook will greatly reduce the cussing. $10 discount for a limited time!
Thanks to Rolly for this story: Two men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job was done... As they were getting ready to leave, I asked them to put the heavy appliances back in place. The two men demanded $45 for this service, stating it was not in their contract. I really had no choice but to pay them. As soon as they left, however, the doorbell rang. It was the two men. They asked me to move my car, which was blocking their van. I told them my minimum fee for moving vehicles: $90. $15 extra if it was a rush job.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Artificial Wreath and Garland Storage If you have purchased a comforter or large blanket that comes in a plastic bag with a zipper, reuse the bag to store your artificial wreaths and garlands. I have a large clear one with a handle that holds my silk Christmas wreath and garland that I use on my mantel every year. The clear bag makes it easy to recognize and it doesn't get dusty. By Mel from NC http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Bobby tells his foreman: "Boss, my wife's mother is moving, again. And I am supposed to help and move her 10 tons of silly antiques to some other top floor apartment. And as usual, it's on short notice. Tomorrow." "Well, Bobby,....", the foreman answred, " ..we're rather shorthanded these days and I can't give you a day off right now. And I'll be needing the company truck for work tomorrow." "Thanks, Boss!", Bobby beamed, "I knew I could count on you!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

» Fantastic Pictures





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Plug-in Strips 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, December 26, 2010

The 26th used to be St Walmart's Day, with people lining up 
outside the store for the Boxing Day specials, truckloads of 
cheap junk hauled in to satisfy the shopping frenzy. 
Not this year, I hear. No specials. No extra staff either. 
Maybe they will try it again after the next election.

Looks like we might be returning to more family and friends
oriented Christmases.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor." --- Vince Lombardi Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. --- Robert Frost Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. --- Abba Eban
From Bill: You might appreciate this, since it's similar to a blurb in today's email: I was driving my daughter and grandchildren from California to Mississippi. It was late at night and we pulled into a town in the Texas panhandle looking for a motel. The first had no vacancies, nor did the second, or the third. As I climbed back into the car, my oldest granddaughter sighed and said, "This is just like Mary and Joseph!" We got a good laugh, and found a room at the fourth motel. It was a pretty cheap place. I thought to myself, "It's still too much like Mary and Joseph!" Love your jokes! Bill
Duplicate File Cleaner Duplicate file cleaner is a powerful and professional grade duplicate file management solution, which helps you find and remove tons of duplicate pictures, music, videos and Outlook email messages. Get the Duplicate File Cleaner now!
Wife: I want to know if I have grounds for a divorce. Lawyer: Are you married? Wife: Yes, of course. Lawyer: Is there enough money or property to pay for my services? Wife: Yes, of course. Lawyer: Then you have grounds.
Yesterday morning from my office window Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a ballon pilot in Midvale, Utah Balloon takes Santa on wild ride after pilot falls out Date: Saturday Dec. 25, 2010 6:43 AM ET MIDVALE, Utah — If only Santa was as good with hot air balloons as with reindeer sleighs! Santa took a wild ride Christmas Eve when his balloon took off without a pilot. The Salt Lake Tribune reports that Santa was tossing candy to kids from the balloon during a school fundraiser when the craft landed too hard and the pilot tumbled out. That left Santa alone and the lighter balloon shot back into the air. Police Sgt. Torin Chambers says Santa travelled 1.7 miles (3 kilometres) across the Utah town of Midvale before the craft lost enough air to come down. A crowd at the school tailed the balloon through town and helped hold it down once it landed.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ramona Re: Plug-In strips Der Webby I needed more electrical outlets for all the gadgets that connect to the laptop, so I got a second plug strip and plugged that into the first one. Everything worked fine, but when a friend of mine saw that, he freaked out and told me I would burn the house down by doing that. Both plug strips have surge protectors and little overload breakers, and the wall socket is also protected with a breaker at the panel. His explanation didn't make sense to me but he was dead serious. Is there anything I don't know about and that I should worry about ? Ramona Dear Ramona Except for your choice of friends, what you are doing is perfectly OK and absolutely nothing to worry about. The power used by all those gadgets doesn't amount to much. Most likely all of them together, including your laptop, use less than a quarter of what a hair dryer would use. The breaker at the panel will ensure that you don't overload anything. Have FUN! DearWebby
Take Control of Windows 7 A great 250 page eBook with over 170 tutorials and 40 free applications for optimizing W7. If you are stuck with W7, with this book you can civilize it and make it do what YOU want it to do. If you buy or give a W7 computer, this boook will greatly reduce the cussing. $10 discount for a limited time!
After a lecture, we were invited out for lunch. I casually mentioned to the lady that I was allergic to cats. "That's okay," the woman said. "I'll serve something else.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com After Christmas Shopping Tips and Ideas http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Bill said the power went out again in L.A. His wife, Kathy had heard a plane flying low overhead. She noticed the plane's landing lights were on and said, "Must not be a widespread power outage -- the plane's lights are on." She was lucky she was not downtown. I heard that during the latest power failure in Los Angeles thousands of people were trapped for hours on store escalators.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A young woman visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and the doctor walked in. Coming to an abrupt halt, he looked his patient up and down carefully. "Miss Jones," he said, "it seems quite obvious that until today you have never had an eye exam. Looks like I have to re-arrange my afternoon schedule and postpone some patients. "

» Brilliance personified





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Bad Santa! 


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Merry Christmas! 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, December 25, 2010
Merry Christmas,  !



Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious, --- Tom Robbins
Our neighbour used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was going though. One day the girl was convinced that the pain on her left side was appendicitis. Her mother explained that the appendix is on the right. "So that's why it hurts to much," her daughter said. "My appendicitis is on the wrong side."
Duplicate File Cleaner Duplicate file cleaner is a powerful and professional grade duplicate file management solution, which helps you find and remove tons of duplicate pictures, music, videos and Outlook email messages. Get the Duplicate File Cleaner now!
The Harvard School of Medicine did a study to determine why married women love Chinese food in general and Won Ton soup in particular. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backwards is: Not Now.
Thanks to Dianne for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Going to shool during the last ice age. Must have been in a previous life, since I am only 29 in this one. Dianne
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Grant Ison, 21 in Oxford, Ohio Treejacking DECEMBER 22--A drunken Ohio college student is facing a disorderly conduct rap for attempting to chop down a 30-foot pine tree that he intended to use as a Christmas tree. Grant Ison, a 21-year-old student, was collared last Sunday at 2:15 AM after his harebrained attempt to bring down the tree, which was in an alley off an Oxford street. When confronted by a cop--who asked Ison whether he was aware that the tree was 30 feet tall--the student replied, “I was going to just cut it down then cut off the top.” Ison lives around the corner from where he attempted his urban lumberjack act. When an Oxford Police Department officer wondered why he would try such a thing, Ison “replied that he was pretty hammered right now.” Not surprisingly, the patrolman “detected an odor of alcoholic beverage emitting from his breath,” according to a police report. Ison explained that he had been using an ax, but a friend ran off with it when police arrived on the scene of the attempted treejacking. Cops noted that a second tree, height unspecified, had also been damaged during Ison’s early morning tree hunt.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Re: No questions today --------------------- No answers either. Have FUN! DearWebby
Take Control of Windows 7 A great 250 page eBook with over 170 tutorials and 40 free applications for optimizing W7. If you are stuck with W7, with this book you can civilize it and make it do what YOU want it to do. If you buy or give a W7 computer, this boook will greatly reduce the cussing. $10 discount for a limited time!
Thanks to Rose for this: I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus. Sure enough, one day he said, "Mom, I know something about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy." Taking a deep breath, I asked him, "What is that?" He replied, "They're all nocturnal."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Christmas "Morning" With Grandchildren This is for all grandparents that miss the grandchildren on Christmas morning. My husband and I have done this for years. With everyone so busy now, grandparent time is often the last on the list. So, we arrange for an overnight with the grandchildren, sometimes before Christmas and sometimes it works out to be January. It gives the parents a chance to shop for the kids or have a night to themselves. We pretend that it's Christmas Eve and bake cookies and watch Christmas shows. We hang up our stockings. Then Christmas morning, we have the thrill of watching them open our gifts and those the grandchildren have for us. Then instead of a regular Christmas Dinner, we have a lunch like Poutine Fries, and mini homemade pizzas with ice cream sundaes with all the toppings. The kids love it, no matter if it's before or after Christmas. We, of course, go right to bed as soon as the parents arrive to pick them up, LOL. It is so worth it and its allowed us to be there for Christmas morning every year. Hope you like the idea, it's a private special time for us that we hope to continue for many years. By GAILDARLENE from Toronto. Ontario, Canada http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A trio of old veterans were bragging about the heroic exploits of their ancestors one afternoon down at the VFW hall. "My great grandfather, at age 13," one declared proudly, "was a drummer boy at Shiloh." "Mine," boasts another, "went down with Custer at the Battle of Little Big Horn." "I'm the only soldier in my family," confessed vet number three, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be the most famous man in the world." "Really? What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know. "Nothing much. But he would be 165 years old."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Ann for this: We had been on the road for 15 hours en route from New York to California and were looking for a place to spend the night. At four different motels, however, we were told, "Sorry, no vacancies." Heading back to the car, my seven-year-old son asked solemnly, "Mom, are we vacancies?"

» Christmas around the world





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Salesman 

A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door.

It's opened by a little ten year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other and a Penthouse magazine tucked under his arm.

Salesman: "Hello son. Is your mom or dad home ?"

Little boy: "What the fuck do you think?"



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Best way to take Christmas pictures 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, December 24, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Thanks Moe !
I sure appreciate it!



I don't remember much about Christmas gifts 
from when I was a kid. What I do remember 
is dressing up nice and warm and hiking up
to the church for midnight mass. The church
is on a rock cone that sticks up out of the 
valley, and was lit up nicely with huge 
lighthouse type search lights and you could 
see it for miles. 

Trudging up there in the snow, with other
families wee quietly joining until close to the 
church it was a contiguous procession.

Mass itself was in Latin and thoroughly 
boring, but everybody patiently sat through
it, and there were always quite a few, 
who were peacefully snoring.

When the latin mumbo jumbo was finally over, we all filed
out and down the big stairs to the parking lot, and stood 
there waiting. People talked in hushed voices to others
nearby, but didn't mill around. If kids talked loudly, they
were instantly shushed and/or swatted. 

After what seemed a very long time the cannon ports on the
round tower swung open and showed a light and tiny figures.
(There were no cannons behind those barn door size ports,
but the big 50 ton bell.)
Everybody shut up. Can you imagine how a kid feels, when
500 grown-ups and all their kids suddenly SHUT UP?

Then the tiny figures way up there in the tower, 
which actually were the village brass band, started playing
"Silent Night, Holy Night". Not in their usual boisterous
manner, but soft and sweet and tender.
It was awesome. 
You could see tears on the faces of grown-ups, but no
kid dared to ask or even cough or shuffle their feet.
It was MAGIC. 
Forgotten were the gifts, the silly Latin mumbo-jumbo,
the icy cold feet. This was the real magic of Christmas.

After "Silent Night" they played some other Christmas
songs, but people dabbed their eyes and started the 
trek home. From the parking lot, which is about at the level
of the light spot on the left in the picture, it is about half
a mile down to the valley floor. By the time we got down
to level ground, people were talking again and calling out
greetings to each other, but the magic still lingered in the
air.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. --- Jane Wagner A man may be a fool and not know it -- but not if he is married. --- H.L. Mencken
"Stop on red, go on green, and slow down when I turn purple."
Duplicate File Cleaner Duplicate file cleaner is a powerful and professional grade duplicate file management solution, which helps you find and remove tons of duplicate pictures, music, videos and Outlook email messages. Get the Duplicate File Cleaner now!
The wife appeared at the breakfast table in curlers and a worn bathrobe. The husband looked up from his newspaper and said, "Why can't you look like you did when you moved in here 15 years ago ?" "I'm not pregnant, and not trying to get married!"
Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Berlinda Dixon-Newbold, 38, Ft Lauderdale, Florida Woman set fire to boyfriend's crotch because he wouldn't talk to her Berlinda Dixon-Newbold, 38, fancied a chat with boyfriend Sheldon Gonzales. But Sheldon was not in the mood for a chinwag and instead decided that a nice nap was much more to his liking. Dixon-Newbold took such exception to being ignored that she grabbed the nearest available lighter and set fire to his crotch. A startled Sheldon managed to put the fire out with his hands before the couple engaged in a heated argument. When Gonzales tried to leave, Dixon-Newbold confronted him at the door, and a "heated argument" broke out. A neighbor called police, who showed up and arrested the 38-year-old woman for aggravated assault. Dixon-Newbold is being held on $6,500 bail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Olga Re: best way to take Christmas pictures Dear Webby, What is the best way to take pictures at Christmas? Now don't tell me with my clothes off! I am not Russian. I mean what should I do with the camera, so that the pictures come out half decent and show the kids and the tree properly? I just have a cheap digital camera. Thanks Olga --------------------- Dear Olga Get a 500 Watt Quartz work-light from Home Depot or Walmart or any hardware store. They usually come with a tripod or pedestal, and have a sturdy cast aluminum housing and a grill in front of the light. Prices range from $30 - $150, but the cheapest 500 Watt Quartz light produces just as much light as the most expensive one. Set that up in a corner, preferably head high or higher, Then set your camera to NOT use the flash, and if necessary put some duck tape over the flash. If your camera has a large lens, then you can use a lower wattage light or have it farther away. Ideally, the light should be a few feet to the side and behind the person, who takes the pictures. It also helps, if the camera is on a tripod or nestled in a baggie filled with sad or flour and sitting on some furniture. Because of the low light conditions, the camera takes a longer shot and the slightest jitter causes th pictures to be fuzzy. Have FUN! DearWebby
Take Control of Windows 7 A great 250 page eBook with over 170 tutorials and 40 free applications for optimizing W7. If you are stuck with W7, with this book you can civilize it and make it do what YOU want it to do. If you buy or give a W7 computer, this boook will greatly reduce the cussing. $10 discount for a limited time!
Two men working in a facory were talking. "I know how to get some time off," said one. "How are you going to do that?" "Watch," he said, and climbed up on a rafter. The foreman asked what he was doing up there, and the man replied. "I'm a lightbulb." "I think you need some time off," the foreman said said, and the first man walked out of the factory. After a moment, the second man followed him. "Where do you think you're going?" the foreman shouted. "I can't work in the dark," he said.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Christmas "Morning" With Grandchildren This is for all grandparents that miss the grandchildren on Christmas morning. My husband and I have done this for years. With everyone so busy now, grandparent time is often the last on the list. So, we arrange for an overnight with the grandchildren, sometimes before Christmas and sometimes it works out to be January. It gives the parents a chance to shop for the kids or have a night to themselves. We pretend that it's Christmas Eve and bake cookies and watch Christmas shows. We hang up our stockings. Then Christmas morning, we have the thrill of watching them open our gifts and those the grandchildren have for us. Then instead of a regular Christmas Dinner, we have a lunch like Poutine Fries, and mini homemade pizzas with ice cream sundaes with all the toppings. The kids love it, no matter if it's before or after Christmas. We, of course, go right to bed as soon as the parents arrive to pick them up, LOL. It is so worth it and its allowed us to be there for Christmas morning every year. Hope you like the idea, it's a private special time for us that we hope to continue for many years. By GAILDARLENE from Toronto. Ontario, Canada http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Emergency services have asked Microsoft and Nokia to team up. They want them to develope a digital cell phone that crashes. They are hoping that occasional crashes will allow other family members to call emergency services if needed, even if there is a teenager with telefonitis hogging the phone.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
After 50 years of wondering why he didn't look like his younger sister or brother, Bubba finally got up the nerve to ask his mother if he was adopted. "Yes, you were son," his mother said as she started to cry softly. "But it didn't work out and they brought you back."

» Christmas Songs





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Nothing New Here 

"The budget should be balanced,
the Treasury should be refilled,
public debt should be reduced,
the arrogance of officialdom should be
tempered and controlled,
and the assistance to foreign lands
should be curtailed
lest Rome become bankrupt.
People must again learn to work,
instead of living on public assistance."
--- Cicero - 55BC


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Ad-Free Sites 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, December 23, 2010

Rumors, that China has donated a Million tons of salt to England,
so that the cars rust out faster, are just a rumor. Some joke that
it was Volvo, who donated the salt, to promote their stainless
steel cars.

Skype experienced major problems today. They are feverishly 
working on restoring service, and I can really sympathize with
their techs. The way Skype is set up, with a lot of the routing
"outsourced" to countless servers and user computers, don't
expect your service to come back and stay good. It will come
back for a minute or two, then be off again. During that minute 
it works perfectly, but then somebody else will get a chance
to blast out, whatever they have queued up.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance." --- Cicero - 55BC
If marriage were outlawed, then only outlaws would have inlaws.
Duplicate File Cleaner Duplicate file cleaner is a powerful and professional grade duplicate file management solution, which helps you find and remove tons of duplicate pictures, music, videos and Outlook email messages. Get the Duplicate File Cleaner now!
I met a man who had been married for 66 years. "Amazing. 66 years!" I said. "What's the secret to such a long, happy marriage?" "Well," he replied, "It's like this. The man makes all the big decisions ... and the woman just makes the little decisions." "Really?" I responded. "Does that really work?" "Oh, yes," he said proudly. "66 years, and so far, not one big decision!"
Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ryan Haynes, 19, of Largo, Florida Robber identified by dropped phone LARGO, Fla., Dec. 21 (UPI) -- Police in Florida said a robber was arrested after dropping his cellphone during a struggle with his victim. Apparently Ryan Haynes, 19, of Largo, pulled a gun on a mentally handicapped McDonald's employee outside the restaurant Sunday night and demanded money, the St. Petersburg (Fla.) Times reported Tuesday. Police said the victim was forced to the ground after telling the robber he didn't have any money and Haynes attempted to take his car keys. However, the victim fought back and Haynes fled, apparently dropping his cellphone in the process. Officers said they used the phone to identify Haynes as the suspect and he was arrested less than two hours after the incident. Haynes was charged with robbery with use of a firearm and taken to the Pinellas County Jail in lieu of $50,000 bail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: James Re: Ad free site Dear Webby, I tried to put up a family site, where everybody, in our far flung family could contribute pictures and stories, but I didn't want it with all the restrictions of Farmville or WordPress, so I got a free site. After all, it's easy enough to save any Open Office file as a web page. When I showed my pride and joy to my lady, there was a banner from a competitor on top. I would much rather pay a fair price than have other companies or peoples banners on top of my work. What do you recommend? James --------------------- Dear James That is exactly how I got started about 17 years ago. Because I had no clue and no help, I spent over $100 by the time I had my site up without banners. Since then I have helped people to do the same, for a lot less money than what I paid. You can get a site like http://4mylove.com/james with all professional features, for $2 a month, and NO banners. For $2.50 a month you can get http://james.4mylove.com, or http://james.martian-underground.com, or james.dawna.net, or james...... at any of dozens of domain names I can use for that purpose. If you want a domain name of your own, the name registration is $10 a year, and the hosting is $4.50 a month for a regular site, with all professional features and without banners. You can put your own banners up, if you want, but they will be yours, not mine. Have FUN! DearWebby By the way, if any of you want a quick Christmas site, You can have one for $5. Pick a name to go after 4mylove.com or dawna.net, pick some pictures from http://dawna.com, there are 112 Christmas / Winter pictures to pick from, and email me what text you want. An hour later your site will be up. You can, of course add more pictures and text, if you want, or leave it as is. Up to you. You can edit your site at any time, and after the initial set-up, it's just $2 a month. Can you afford to pass on a deal like that? Have FUN! DearWebby
Take Control of Windows 7 A great 250 page eBook with over 170 tutorials and 40 free applications for optimizing W7. If you are stuck with W7, with this book you can civilize it and make it do what YOU want it to do. If you buy or give a W7 computer, this boook will greatly reduce the cussing. $10 discount for a limited time!
An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took a nicely glowing piece of iron out of the forge and with his long metal tongs held it it over the horn of the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard." Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Peeling Oranges for Recipes When using oranges to make a fancy dessert or salad, remove the white membrane on them by soaking the oranges in boiling water for 5 minutes before you peel them. By Sandy from Graettinger, IA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word, what you shouldn't have said.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A voice on the airport loudspeaker announced: "We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will work pro- perly in case of emergency." My confidence in this safety precaution faded when the voice added: "If you are unable to hear this announcement, please contact Security."

» Out of Africa





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It's All Relative 


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Gmail picture sending problem 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Has anybody figured out what will happen, if England keeps
throwing salt the way they are? 1.5 MILLION TONS so far this
winter. For such a small country, that is an awful lot of salt!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers. --- Daniel J. Boorstin It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. --- Arthur C. Clarke
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon... and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
Duplicate File Cleaner Duplicate file cleaner is a powerful and professional grade duplicate file management solution, which helps you find and remove tons of duplicate pictures, music, videos and Outlook email messages. Get the Duplicate File Cleaner now!
A mother traveled 2,000 miles to be with her only son on the day he was to receive his Air Force wings and also get married. "It was wonderful," she said later. "It isn't every day that a mother watches her son receive his wings in the morning and have them clipped in the evening."
Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Clement Hunter, 30, NY NYC driver with 513 pounds of pot trps himself in dead end NEW YORK, Dec. 19 (UPI) -- A driver who fled a routine traffic stop in New York City early Sunday was arrested with 513 pounds of marijuana, police said. Clement Hunter drove his rented Dodge Caravan through a red light at Farmers and Merrick boulevards in Queens around 4 a.m., police told the New York Daily News. Officers said they tried to pull him over, but the driver sped off and ended up on a dead-end street. "He kind of traps himself. The officers basically block him off and he tries to flee on foot," a police spokesman said. "We grab him, and inside the Caravan we find 513 pounds of marijuana." Hunter, 30, of Jamaica, Queens, was charged with criminal possession of marijuana.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Martin Re: Gmail problems Dear Webby, For the past couple of weeks, many of the emails I forward have gone out WITHOUT the photos included. Really getting me pissed, but have no idea why this is happening now. It also happened to the last photo you sent. Meanwhile I don't even find it in my 'sent' mail. Any ideas?? -- Martin --------------------- Dear Martin I am just a simple hillbilly, living a simple life, and I don't complicate things if I don't have to. I have used Eudora for 20 years now, and it has never done anything silly like that. You can download the full version of Eudora from http://eudora.com/techsupport/kb/2350hq.html/ Once you got it installed, let me know, and I'll send you the full registration unlock code. Then go to http://mail.google.com/support/bin/answ ... swer=13279 and follow the step by step instructions. If Eudora is too industrial for you, they have instructions there for other popular email programs too. You will still be using gmail, but with a full featured email program, not with a browser, that is just intended for peeking at the mail, while you are away from your own machine. Sure, you CAN send mail with the gmail browser page, especially if your machine has lots of RAM, but every time they add some frills, some other function gets clipped by your browser. With a full featured email program, that resides on your computer, you don't have that problem. Have FUN! DearWebby
Take Control of Windows 7 A great 250 page eBook with over 170 tutorials and 40 free applications for optimizing W7. If you are stuck with W7, with this book you can civilize it and make it do what YOU want it to do. If you buy or give a W7 computer, this boook will greatly reduce the cussing. $10 discount for a limited time!
Bob went to visit his brother who was stationed in Germany. He assumed that enough Germans would speak English so that he could at least get around. But he found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket inspector on the train. He punched Bob's ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. Bob just nodded from time to time to show him that he was interested. When he had gone, an American woman soldier in the compartment leaned forward and asked Bob if he spoke German. "No," he confessed. "Then that explains," she said, "why you didn't bat an eyelid when he told you that you were on the wrong train going in the wrong direction."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Belts and Necklaces I received a nice wrought iron coat hanger for mounting on the wall and had it for years, but never seemed to find just the right place to hang it. I finally got the bright idea of hanging it in my walk-in closet, to put my belts on, and it works great. No more searching for that favorite belt when I'm in a hurry. Now I'm going to put another one in my other closet for my scarves, etc. By CDC from FL An old short-tine rake works fine for that too. Scrub it with a wire brush, then wash it with CocaCola. The phosphoric acid in it turns any rust into iron phosphate. Rinse, dry, and paint it with a varnish. Varnish is thicker and smoother than paint, but it will still look antiquey. Usually the "house", the part where you stick the wooden handle, has a little hole for a nail or screw. You can simply hang it by that onto a nail on a closet door inside or anywhere, and just as easily move it to a different location. Have FUN! DearWebby http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly towards him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, and in a more satisfying way than anybody has ever done it for you before, for $100 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint... my... house."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
This one is from the days when Windows came on a stack of floppies instead of pre-installed on the PC. A polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong. Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer." Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide. Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?" Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized." Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?" Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down. 'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it?'" Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?" Customer: "After they were initialized, all the disks appeared to be blank. And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them. And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office. Did I do something wrong?"

» Lunar Eclipse, if you missed it





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How do I open Winmail.dat 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Longest night of the year.
Missed the lunar eclipse this time. It was too cloudy,
plus my good camera died in April, 
so here is a picture from last time:


Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance. --- Confucius It's what you learn after you know it all that counts. --- John Wooden
The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of their home, the cat shot back into the house. Not wanting their often rowdy cat to have free run of the house while they were out, the husband went back upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife didn't want the taxi driver to realize that the house would be empty, explained to him: "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband got into the cab, and said, "Sorry I took so long" he says, "The old nuisance got into our bedroom and was snooping in the closet. I had to get a broom to chase her out!"
Duplicate File Cleaner Duplicate file cleaner is a powerful and professional grade duplicate file management solution, which helps you find and remove tons of duplicate pictures, music, videos and Outlook email messages. Get the Duplicate File Cleaner now!
Molly, a difficult independent 75 year old, likes sitting by the park feeding the pigeons. One day she saved a bun from lunch and was merrily tossing bits of it at the birds. Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. Then suddenly a man in his early 40's rained on Molly's parade by telling her that she shouldn't throw away good food on a bunch of pigeons that can find food anywhere... when there are a lot of people starving in Africa. Without hesitation Molly told him: "Well, I can't throw that far, but you are welcome to throw your own buns anywhere you want."
Click through the picture to the large version. Hwy 64 in Norway
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Walter Koenig, 61, in Freiburg, Germany Conman Tries To Avoid Jail By Talking For 14 Hours Published: December 20, 2010 Walter Koenig, 61, who was given the final word before being sentenced, talked for 14 hours at a court at Freiburg. Prosecutor Michael Machtel said: "It is a German record but he failed to talk himself out of jail despite the marathon speech." Koenig was jailed - after he finished his epic attempt to filibuster the court - for 3 years and three months for fraud, after the court heard how he had stolen from investors in his company.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dianne Re: How do you open winmail.dat files Dear Webby, How do you open winmail.dat files? Dianne --------------------- Dear Dianne Those .dat files are helper files for Microsoft Weird sending through Outlook and for Outlook, carrying formatting data that it could not send inside a file. They just work on a LAN, where every machine has access to the one, that sent it, or some silly excuse like that. Just tell, whoever sent it, to send it standard or use IncrediMail, if they need thilly frills. Here is how to Configure Outlook to NOT send Winmail.dat attachments Turn off Rich Text sending for messages in Microsoft Outlook 1) Click on Tools 2) Click Options, and then click the Mail Format tab. 3) In the Send in this Message Format list, select Plain Text, and then click OK. This will set your default sending method to Plain Text, which will lose your special formatting options with fonts, colors, etc. However everyone, no matter what email program they are using, will now be able to receive your email with no problems. As far as I now, no other email program has that handicap. Have FUN! DearWebby
Take Control of Windows 7 A great 250 page eBook with over 170 tutorials and 40 free applications for optimizing W7. If you are stuck with W7, with this book you can civilize it and make it do what YOU want it to do. If you buy or give a W7 computer, this boook will greatly reduce the cussing. $10 discount for a limited time!
"Watch out," the wife cautioned her husband, who was driving. "Don't you see that car is braking?" Then she snapped, "Don't pass that truck - his tire is wobbling." The husband turned on his CB and informed the trucker about his loose wheel. The wife, in a nasty mood because of a headache, was irritated by the incessant squealing of the CB. "Why do you always get so much static?" she asked. "Because," her long-suffering husband replied, "I'm married."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freeze Your Ham Bone for Soup When cooking a ham for the holidays and you've eaten all the meat, save the ham bone to freeze. Later you can pull it out of your freezer, throw in some beans with your frozen bone, and make a nice soup. By Diana M. http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Bernie came into the principals office looking somewhat tired and bedraggled, but anxious to explain his nearly one hour tardiness. “Our chickens have been disappearing.” He said. “And Pa made up his mind to put a stop to it. But nothing happened for several nights. Then last night about 3 o’clock, Pa got me and Ol’ Blue and his shot gun, all cocked and loaded, to go out with him to the chicken house to see what was going on.” He went on. “Well, Pa sleeps in his birthday suit, and as he bent over to go into the chicken house, Ol’ Blue cold-nosed Pa where he didn’t expect it. Both barrels went off. Ever since then we’ve been up a-cleanin’ and a-pluckin’ more than 50 chickens. I missed the bus and had to walk 3 miles to school. " As I handed him his “Excused” slip, he muttered, “I sure hope we don’t have no chicken for lunch this week.”
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Mike's parents have four children. Their names are Penny, Dime and Quarter. What is the fourth child's name? ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Mike's name is simply: Mike.

» Lunar Eclipse





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Randumb Humour 

In Germany, paramedics rescued this 40 year-old man
who got his manhood stuck in the vacuum cleaner.
The man told authorities his relationship with his
vacuum cleaner was purely sexual
- he didn't want any attachments.

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity,
they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool
and throw them fish.



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Laws of Life 

Murphy's First Law for Wives:
If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation:
The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

The Salary Axiom:
The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Miller's Law of Insurance:
Insurance covers everything except what happens.

First Law of Living:
As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something else.

Weiner's Law of Libraries:
There are no answers, only cross-references.

Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness:
Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

The Grocery Bag Law:
The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is always hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

Lampner's Law of Employment:
When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.


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Night camera 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, December 20, 2010

It looks like much of Europe and especially England has 
forgotten how to cope with winter. They got soft and spoiled
during the warm ripple, and the people who took care of the
roads and rails and airports 35 years ago, have all retired,
and seem to be the only ones smart enough to stay home. 

Drivers in France and Germany still believe that they don't 
need real winter tires like their parents and grand parents 
once used, with quite predictable results.

The kids seem to enjoy it, though.
Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the time, and a courageous person afterward. --- Jean Paul Richter The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness. --- Joseph Conrad
A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free: "You are NUTS!"
The Ultimate Guide to Speedy Green Cleaning!
No other product like it. The secrets to saving time, money,
effort and to declutter your life! From cheap, effective home
made cleaning recipes, step-by-step speed cleaning instructions,
and how to declutter and stay decluttered. This book has it all.

If you need a low cost Christmas gift,
that will actually get USED, get
Speedy Green Cleaning!

A farmer runs into the pastor of his church after missing the morning service. "I missed you at service this morning," the pastor says. "Well, Reverend", the farmer says, "I had some hay to put up. I figured there would be less cussing if I sat on a dry bale of hay thinking about church, than to sit in a dry church thinking about the hay getting rained on."
Thanks to Linda for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Dear Webby, Here is a great photo of icicles hanging from a tree branch over the side of a river here in Pa. They just so looked so neat I had to send them to you for others to enjoy !! Thank you, Linda R
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tony Morris, 37 in Acron, Ohio Crowbar attack prompted by chicken AKRON, Ohio (UPI) -- Police in Ohio say a man beat his brother with a crowbar during a dispute about a piece of fried chicken with a bite taken out of it. The alleged victim, Thomas Morris, 41, of Akron told investigators the incident began Sunday afternoon when his 37-year-old brother Tony threw a piece of chicken at him at their mother's home while they were both visiting, the Akron Beacon Journal reported Wednesday. Thomas Morris said his brother accused him of taking a bite out of the chicken piece and placing it back in the frying pan. He told investigators he suggested they take the dispute outside and his brother then attacked him with a crowbar, inflicting a 3-inch laceration on his forehead and other wounds. The older brother, who was treated at a local hospital, said Tony Morris fled after he got away and retrieved a shovel from a neighbor's house. Police said they were called to the home by the mother, who admitted taste-testing the piece of chicken in question. An arrest warrant was issued Sunday for Tony Morris on suspicion of felonious assault, domestic violence and menacing.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Alice Re: Night Camera Dear Webby, You have mentioned X-10 before. Can those cheap X-10 security cameras be used to record the deer, that seem to enjoy my neighbor's garden quite frequently? Alice --------------------- Dear Alice As lng as you don't expect National Geographic style picture quality, yes, sure! Their black&white low light cameras just need a not too far away street light to produce a fairly good picture, quite good enough for police to identify an intruder. Of course, the more light you have, the better the picture will be. Color cameras need three times as much light, or three times bigger lenses. That can get quite expensive long before you get good color night time pictures. It is a lot cheaper to install a motion activated light, preferably not in line with the camera, but at 15 - 30 degrees to the side. Consider the deer to be in the center of a clock, and the camera at 6. Put the light between 4 and 5. Deer are usually not spooked by motion detector lights, as long as there is no sudden noise at the same time. Have FUN! DearWebby
Christmas Pictures - Huge Christmas Graphics Package
The 156 MB Christmas Graphics Super Pack, is chock
full of .jpg, .gif, and .png files to keep you busy for many
Christmases to come! Over 1500 pictures included. use them
for anything from gift tags to web sites.
Christmas Pictures

Sometimes... when you cry, no one sees your tears. Sometimes... when you are in pain, no one sees your hurt. Sometimes... when you are worried, no one sees your stress. Sometimes... when you are happy, no one sees your smile. But fart just ONE TIME...!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Start With Youngest Child For Christmas Gifts When it comes to opening gifts it can get a little hectic. We found a way around that. When I married my husband, he introduced my family to his way of opening the gifts. His family started with the youngest opening one gift and worked their way up the line to the oldest then started over again. That way all know what everyone got and each person got the chance to thank the giver, and the giver was able to see the reaction to their gifts. It also makes the gift time last longer. Our family has adopted this tradition and loved it! Merry Christmas all. By Latrtatr from Loup City, NE http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man approached his family physician and said, "Doc, I'm afraid you'll have to remove my wife's tonsils one of these days." The doctor pulled out the family's medical file and exclaimed, "Why, I removed them six years ago! Did you ever hear of a woman having two sets of tonsils?" "No," the husband retorted, "but you might have heard of a widower getting married again."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Grampa was telling his youngest grandson about his terrifying experience with cannibals. "There I was, lost in the middle of the jungle, surrounded by twenty hungry cannibals." His grandson, Alexander, said, "But last time you told me, there were only ten hungry cannibals." To which grampa answered, "Ah, but you were too young then to know the whole horrible truth!"

» Polar Bears





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Fixing up an old computer 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, December 19, 2010

Walter, The Stone carver, a subscriber since about 1994, has
opened a new site for the 
"American Friends of Italian Monumental Sculpture".
at http://staglieno.com

They want to help the city of Genoa restore the magnificent 
sculptures at the Staglieno cemetery. I wrote about that last year,
when I mentioned Walter's book Staglieno-the art of the Marble Carver

The Staglieno cemetery is the REAL "Marble Orchard", 
the finest collection of 19th and 20th century marble sculptures
in the world, just standing out in the rain near a grimy, 
industrial city. You see on this picture, how hundreds of 
years of soot and rain have affected the once shiny white 
marble. That is why Walter started this new Non-Profit org
to restore the sculptures.



Click through for the big picture

Proceeds of Walter's book Walter's book Staglieno-the art of the Marble Carver
go to help restore those sculptures. No, the sculptures in the
REAL marble orchard are not for sale, but Walter's book is. 
If you need a classy Christmas present, that is not a Walmart
bargain, get Walter's book!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Heredity is something every man believes in until his own son begins acting like a darn fool! --- Socratex
That reminds me.... One day little Johnnie came home from school and announced: "Hey, Dad! Guess what we learned! We are all descended from the APES !" His dad didn't like the notion of that one bit and blew up: "That's NONSENSE!" Johnny replied: "But, but the teacher told us so!" His dad shot back: "YOU might have an ape for an ancestor, but I sure don't!"
The Ultimate Guide to Speedy Green Cleaning!
No other product like it. The secrets to saving time, money,
effort and to declutter your life! From cheap, effective home
made cleaning recipes, step-by-step speed cleaning instructions,
and how to declutter and stay decluttered. This book has it all.

If you need a low cost Christmas gift,
that will actually get USED, get
Speedy Green Cleaning!

Bonnie was very busy one day working in her house. She had just gotten to the basement after quite a few trips up and down, when she heard the telephone ring upstairs. Tiredly, she ran back up the stairs only to hear a solicitor on the other end... "Hello, is this Bonnie D ? We are calling people in your area and would like to know if you would help us by participating in a brief survey." Without missing a beat, she told them... "I am BUSY, you will have to survey your briefs yourself."
Thanks to Celine from Moncoindejardin.com for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Chico and Jayco
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to TSA in Texas TSA Screeners Don't Notice Loaded Handgun In Man's Carry-On December 17, 2010 If you thought the TSA's inability to notice a 6-inch hunting knife was a sign that airport screeners might as well be watching Spongebob instead of the porno-scan and X-raying you and your stuff, here's further proof. A man in Houston says the TSA screeners didn't blink an eye at the loaded .40 caliber handgun he'd forgotten was tucked away in his computer bag when he made his way through the security checkpoint at Bush Intercontinental Airport. Since the TSA requires you to run your laptop through separately from its bag, it should have been even easier for screeners to notice the gun in the laptop bag. "There's nothing else in there. How can you miss it?" asks the passenger. "You cannot miss it." The passenger noticed the gun when he arrived at his destination and reported the incident to authorities. The TSA investigated and provided "remedial instruction" for the screeners involved.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Mr E Re: Refurb an old machine Sorry about the typos in the links yesterday. So here is a re-run of yesterday's Tech Support Pits Dear Webby, Long time no hear and see.. so how have you've been? As for me/us here in the usa, we are still trying to make ends meet..... ok now for my request. I am looking for a good tune up program (that wont destroy my computer, and a program that will find old programs so that i can get them off of my computer). Thank you and have a great day. Signed: Mr. E --------------------- Dear Ed For the UNinstalling, I recommend the Secure Uninstaller It finds the hidden stuff too. For tuning up, you probably need a GOOD Registry tuner like Registry Booster, because by now most likely your Registry is a chaotic mess. I use it myself too, every time I boot up. It keeps my ancient XP klunker running just fine, faster than brand new Windows7 machines. Have FUN! DearWebby
Christmas Pictures - Huge Christmas Graphics Package
The 156 MB Christmas Graphics Super Pack, is chock
full of .jpg, .gif, and .png files to keep you busy for many
Christmases to come! Over 1500 pictures included. use them
for anything from gift tags to web sites.
Christmas Pictures

Old Albert goes on his first trip overseas. Upon arriving, he is visibly puzzled while filling out his visa application. The border official looks over his shoulder and sees the tourist trying to write "Twice a week" in the space labeled SEX. The official explains: "No, no, no. That is not what we mean by this question. We are asking 'Male' or 'Female.'" So he writes down: "FEMALES"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Have a Snack Basket I keep one of those little plastic baskets used for organizing in a cupboard that my kids can reach. This basket is filled with snacks that I feel they can eat without me knowing or are healthy alternatives to treats. We call it our snack basket. It is also a good tool to use with our toddler who likes to snack all day. We can put only a few snacks into the basket and when they are gone, then no more snacks! Source: This is from many different sources, but "Super Nanny" had the idea for limiting snacks with a snack jar. By Rachel from Indianapolis, IN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here." "Wait your turn," replied the waiter with typical New York charm. "I can only serve one table at a time."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A poor vagabond, traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." He knocked. The Innkeeper's wife stuck her head out a window. "Could ye spare some victuals?" he asked. The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition. "No!" she said rather sternly. "Could I have a pint of ale?" "No!" she said again. "Could I at least sleep in your stable?" "No!" by this time she was fairly shouting. The vagabond said, "Might I please...?" "What now?" the woman interrupted impatiently. "D'ye suppose," he asked, "I might have a word with George?"

» Giggle Of Goats





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Refurb an old machine 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, December 18, 2010

We rebuilt this server after yesterday's attack. I don't know if 
somebody wanted to use the big postcard server to send 
10 Million Christmas cards to the ACLU, or to attack the Pentagon, 
but it was a very bad attack. 

Some good news for a change: 

23,096 Teddybears were thrown onto the ice during a hockey
game in Calgary, an old tradition. Details and link to a video of it
are here at Teddy Bear Rain. 
This is just a screen shot I snapped off the video and doesn't 
really show the rain of teddybears. But you get a small taste of it.

While tossing hats onto the ice when a player scores three goals 
might be hockey's most famous tossing tradition, it simply 
doesn't compare to the grandeur of 23,096 teddy bears and 
other stuffed animals blanketing the rink as they did at 
the Calgary Hitmen game on Sunday: 

For 16 years the Hitmen, who were co-owned by and named after 
former WWF champion Bret Hart, have held a Teddy Bear Toss to 
benefit over 50 charities in Alberta that work with children. 
On Monday, after the 23,000-strong toss, the players 
hand-delivered teddy bears to the Alberta Children's Hospital.  
Brett Hart died in a game a few years ago, but the tradition 
continues.

The fans bring the stuffed animals to the game and then wait 
for the first goal to be scored. For the 16,844 fans at the 
Saddledome watching the Hitmen take on the Red Deer Rebels 
on Sunday, the honor went to Cody Sylvester at 3:49 of the 
first period. He scored, and the mayhem started and continued 
for 40 minutes while play was delayed. "It's unbelievable," 
Sylvester told the Examiner after the game. 
"Scoring in front of all those fans and all those teddy bears 
coming down on you -- it's a pretty special moment." 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors. --- Thomas H. Huxley I have such poor vision I can date anybody. --- Garry Shandling "Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival." --- W. Edwards Deming
Deep in the woods of Tennessee on a country road, a preacher hit and killed a dog. The dog's owner stood nearby, a gun in his hand.The preacher looks at the owner sheepishly and says, "Looks as if I killed your dog." "Sure does." "I'm sorry. Was it a valuable dog?" "I wouldn't say that." "Well, suppose I gave you a hundred dollars. Would that be enough?" "Well, I don't know." "Two hundred dollars. That should do it." "Sounds good." The preacher reached into his pocket and came up with the money. Pressing it into the man's hand, he said, "I'm sorry I spoiled your plans to go hunting." "I wasn't going hunting. The vet told me to take that mangy mutt out to the woods and put him out of his misery, cause pills don't help him no more."
The Ultimate Guide to Speedy Green Cleaning!
No other product like it. The secrets to saving time, money,
effort and to declutter your life! From cheap, effective home
made cleaning recipes, step-by-step speed cleaning instructions,
and how to declutter and stay decluttered. This book has it all.

If you need a low cost Christmas gift,
that will actually get USED, get
Speedy Green Cleaning!

A manager is told by his doctor that he has to take up some sport, so he decides to play tennis. After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's doing. "It's going fine", the manager says, "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me my brain immediately says: To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!". "Really? What happens then?", the girl asks enthusiastic Then my body says: "Huh ? Who, me ??? You gotta be kidding!"
Click through the picture to the large version. Tromso, Norway
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to David Wright, 39, in Springfield, MO Hammer Holdup SPRINGFIELD, Mo. -- Greene County prosecutors charged a man o n Wednesday afternoon for two robberies of convenience stores earlier that day. City police arrested David Wright, 39, not long after the second robbery. In both robberies, the bandit threatened clerks with a hammer. The first was just after 4 a.m. at the Kum & Go at 1605 E. Kearney St. The second was a little later at the Kum & Go at 1550 N. Glenstone Ave. Police say the robber threatened the clerks with a hammer and ran off with money. Police arrested Wright in the 1700 block of East Kearney at Rancho Court Motel. If he's convicted, he could face prison sentences of between 10 and 30 years for each of two counts of first-degree robbery and at least three years for each of two counts of armed criminal action. A judge set his bond at $200,000.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Mr E Re: Refurb an old machine Dear Webby, Long time no hear and see.. so how have you've been? As for me/us here in the usa, we are still trying to make ends meet..... ok now for my request. I am looking for a good tune up program (that wont destroy my computer, and a program that will find old programs so that i can get them off of my computer). Thank you and have a great day. Signed: Mr. E --------------------- Dear Ed For the UNinstalling, I recommend the Secure Uninstaller It finds the hidden stuff too. For tuning up, you probably need a GOOD Registry tuner like Registry Booster, because by now most likely your Registry is a chaotic mess. I use it myself too, every time I boot up. It keeps my ancient XP klunker running just fine, faster than brand new Windows7 machines. Have FUN! DearWebby
Christmas Pictures - Huge Christmas Graphics Package
The 156 MB Christmas Graphics Super Pack, is chock
full of .jpg, .gif, and .png files to keep you busy for many
Christmases to come! Over 1500 pictures included. use them
for anything from gift tags to web sites.
Christmas Pictures

Mia went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas. The cowboy preparing the horses asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. He told her one had a horn and one didn't. She replied, "The one without the horn is fine. I don't really know when to honk the horn or not."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Christmas Decorations In Garment Bags Large swags or garlands can be stored in the zippered garment bags you can get in the dollar store. You can tie them to a hanger for storage in a closet or lay them on a shelf. Easier than trying to put them in a box or wrapping in paper to store. By Monica from Scranton, PA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A big-city counterfeiter decided the best place to pass off his phoney $18 bills would be in some small Southern hick town. So, he got into his new wheels and off he went. He found a tiny town with a single store. He entered the store and handed one of the bogus bills to the man behind the counter. "Can you change this for me, please?" he said. The store clerk looked at the $18 bill a short time, then smiled and told the man, "Sure, Mister. Ya'll want 2 nines, or 3 sixes?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

» Best Snow Man Ever





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Cure Hemorrhoids & Piles Naturally In 48 Hours Without Side-Effects 



If you've tried many types of hemorrhoid solutions then you probably understand the differences of how each is used. In this article, I'll go over what each of them do for the body, how they intend to treat hemorrhoids or piles, and the controversial, raw truth on most of them.


The first popular type is creams and ointments where a topical treatment is rubbed on your outer rectal area and aims to soothe blood vessels. This creates a relaxation of the tissue so that it does not bulge out so much. Once the tissue does not bulge, the hemorrhoid will be less likely to flare up. This is great for some relief in the temporal matter but unfortunately you are practically guaranteed to flare up again.

The 2nd type that is very popular as well in the form of suppositories which is inserted inside the rectum for the purposes of delivering moisture to the hemorrhoid and creating a lubricating effect once the next rectal pressure comes. The aim is to ensure the hemorrhoid heals without rupturing again. For some it works well, for others not so but it's worth seeing.

The 3rd type is pills where one can consume that regulate some blood pressure in the system. This can have its side effects but overall it's used to tighten vein tissue so that the hemorrhoid is less susceptible to problems. It's a very top down approach that has its benefits but can also induce real side effects and big pharmacies like to push this.

These three types are the most common and once these are exhausted, you still have options such as cryotherapy or surgery. It all depends on the individual case and what you can tolerate. In my personal experience, it's best to first try the safer options before going to the extreme measures. Even if the pain is unbearable, you can still use relief from these methods. It’s just not pleasant long-term either.

Now, not all hope is lost.
I do have one solution that has surprised me pleasantly. I’d like to review a totally safe, natural remedy that works within a few days. It’s called the H Miracle system and you can find it at:
Cure Hemorrhoids & Piles Naturally In 48 Hours Without Side-Effects


It’s already been proven by hundreds, if not thousands of success stories in the underground fashion of alternative medicine. The system includes ingredient resources, charts, audio lessons and basically everything you need to cure your hemorrhoids one and for all. I really recommend it and just see the testimonials from users who have triumphed even severe hemorrhoids for good.

Once again, see the free report on this at:
Cure Hemorrhoids & Piles Naturally In 48 Hours Without Side-Effects



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Hijacked IE search 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning, HTML-START !
It's Friday, December 17, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show support for the troops!

One of our servers got attacked in the evening. That sure 
caused a lot of unplanned work! 

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Winners must learn to relish change with the same enthusiasm and energy that we have resisted it in the past. --- Tom Peters If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much. --- Donald H. Rumsfeld
Judi was almost crazy with her three kids. She complained to her best friend, "They're driving me nuts. Such pests, they give me no rest and I'm half-way to the nut hatch." "What you need is a playpen to separate the kids from yourself," her friend said. So Judi bought a playpen. A few days later, her friend called to ask how things were going. "Superb! I can't believe it," Judi said. "I get into that pen and I can answer all of my mail before the first one climbs over it!"
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A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My wife and I have a great relationship," the husband bragged. His wife explained: "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theatre arts. He communicates quite well and I know how to act like I'm listening."
Click through the picture to the large version. Lighthouse in Ohio today
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Peter Lawrence, 71, in San Diego Man, 71, gets 21 years for wheelchair bank robbery SAN DIEGO (AP) - A 71-year-old terminally ill man has been sentenced to 21 years in a California prison for rolling his wheelchair into a San Diego bank and holding it up with a replica BB gun. Judge Jeffrey Fraser said Friday that Peter Lawrence could theoretically get out of prison at age 90, when he would no longer be a threat to the public. According to City News Service, Lawrence told the judge he robbed the Chase bank of more than $2,000 this summer because he felt hopeless after being diagnosed with a myriad of medical problems. Defense lawyer Kenneth Kaminiski says his client did not want to harm anyone. Kaminiski says Lawrence wanted to get caught so he would not have to live on the streets. Prosecutors said Lawrence was a danger because he could use a real weapon in the future.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Peggy Re: Hijacked IE search Dear Webby, Why is it that I am being redirected to advertising sites when I click on specific links? For example, I was searching for a specific size label, I had already been on the Avery label website and did not find it. I put the size info in my browser search window and it gave me a list of links to try. One was for Avery labels so I clicked on that link, but instead of going to the page I wanted, I was redirected to another site. This is happening more and more. I did a search and found an article that said I probably had been hacked and needed to do a virus scan. I immediately did a complete scan with Malwarebytes and found nothing. Would you have any advice to help with this problem? Thanks for your daily letter, I enjoy the humor and take note of all the computer knowledge you share with us. Peggy Oliver HOME OF THE FREE BECAUSE OF THE BRAVE GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS AND KEEP THEM SAFE --------------------- Dear Peggy Which browser are you using? --------------------- IE --------------------- Dear Peggy That might explain, why I can't duplicate that weird browser behavior. IE is not secure enough for me, so I banned it from our machines some time ago. We use strictly just FireFox, and for searching, we use Google. You could try running SpyWare-Search&Destroy. McAfee has kept browser hijackers off my machines, but I have read that SpyWare-Search&Destroy does nab some hijackers, that Malwarebytes misses. You could also check and make sure that you don't have any goofy tool bars like the Yahoo or ATT search bar installed in your IE. If you do, then of course all bets are off. By the way, what size or type of label are you looking for? Have FUN! DearWebby Thanks for your advice. I tried using Firefox, but it messed up whenever I tried to access the banking websites. So I went back to IE out of necessity. I'm pretty sure I don't have any other tool bars, I always decline those whenever I have to download anything. I was looking for a label the size of a sheet of paper - we want to print on it and then paste it inside a file folder. --------------------- Dear Peggy I had to tell my bank once, that if they don't bring their site up to standard, I would move to a better bank. They were up to standard in a couple of days. Re full sheet labels: Those are awfully expensive! Why don't you just get an UHU stick (dry glue stick that looks like a yellow lipstick), and paste regular, cheap paper into the folders? I have done that for ages. One line across the top and a quick X is all it takes to hold a page forever. If you do want the sticky 8 1/2" x 11" labels, they are Avery # 5265 http://snipurl.com/fullsheetlabel You can order them from Staples: $11.99 for 25 labels. http://snipurl.com/staples-avery5265 However, if you want to do it like I do and print the folder liners onto the blank back-sides of mail, that you are not going to read a second (or first) time,... Liquid Glue Pens are $1.27 for two http://snipurl.com/liquid-glue-pens Single dry glue sticks are $1.79 http://snipurl.com/dry-glue-stick A six-pack of dry glue sticks is $10 http://snipurl.com/6-clear-dry-glue-sticks And then there is still the good ol' flour glue. A pinch of flour and a few drops of water mixed in a spoon or bottle cap makes a pretty wicked, permanent paper and wood glue. Same as with most liquid glues, if you make it too thin, you have to weigh it down for a few minutes, so that it doesn't warp the paper. Have FUN! DearWebby
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A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements: - religion - royalty - sex - mystery The prize-winning essay read: "My God," said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Flat Paper Bows for Shipped Packages Do you have to mail gifts and don't want the bows to be mashed, yet don't want to leave them "plain?" Cut out pictures of pretty bows or make flat "bows" and "ribbons" out of construction paper and glue them on. You could play with this idea and have creative fun with it. By Sid from Bristol, TN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An extremely shy fellow once brought his date a bouquet of flowers. She threw her arms around him and kissed him long and hard. After the kiss, he turned and bolted for the door. She exclaimed, "Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." "You didn't!" he replied. "I'm just going to run to the the cemetery to get more flowers!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Bill for this story: Last year at Christmas time, I dressed up in my Santa suit and after greeting my children, my wife asked the kids if they wanted to take Santa to a relative's house. They said yes. So I got in the minivan and went to the relative's house. While at their house, my son started misbehaving, so I said in the most bass voice I could muster. "Son, you better behave or Santa won't bring you any presents." My innocent 5 y/o son turned to my wife and said, "Mommy, Santa is walking home!"

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