Saturday, December 8, 2018, 08:39 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Thank you very much, Frank!!!
Today is Saturday, December 8
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Utah Mom Lured Ex Out of Apartment Before
Murdering his current wife
Blondie jumping onto frozen lake
______________________________________________________
Today, December 8 in
1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate
Conception. The theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus,
was free of original sin from the moment she was conceived.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
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There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors
instead of establishing the truth.
--- Marie Curie (1867 - 1934)
It is always a silly thing to give advice,
but to give good advice is fatal.
--- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
"An alcoholic is someone you don't like
who drinks as much as you do."
--- Dylan Thomas
______________________________________________________
A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas.
She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, "What
rotten luck I've had today! What in the world should I do
now?"
A man standing next to her suggests, "I don't know... why
don't you play your age?"
He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by
a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe she won! He
rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the
crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table
operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks,
"What happened? Is she all right?"
The operator replies, "I don't know. She put all her money
on 29, and 36 came up. Then she just fainted!"
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
In a grocery store a cashier held up a small dairy carton
and yelled to a co-worker, "How much is half-and-half?"
Without a moment's hesitation the other cashier replied,
"One."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
DEMOCRACY
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for
being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICANISM
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?
SOCIALIST
You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your
neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his
cow.
COMMUNIST
You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you
with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive
and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of
cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays
you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down
the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do
an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk
of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin
an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and
are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the
size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They
learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the
top of their class at cow school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink
lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred
miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of
vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While
ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch.
Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn
you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them
again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes
over however many cows you really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't
milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find
alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION
You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of
their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed
attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION
You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow
thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow
won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants control of
the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in
half. The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best
looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best
accidentally vote for the black one. Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to
vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you
which one you think is the best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only
five speak English. Many are illegals. Arnold likes the ones with
the big udders.
______________________________________________________
Waiting for hubby
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Chelsea Watrous Cook,
32,
Salt Lake City,
Utah
Utah Mom Lured Ex Out of Apartment Before
Murdering his current wife
Utah has never executed a woman or had a woman on death row, but
that could change after Sunday night's murder in suburban Salt
Lake City. Chelsea Watrous Cook, 32, has been charged with
aggravated murder in the shooting of Lisa Vilate Williams, 26,
and could face the death penalty, Deseret News reports. Police
say the teacher lured ex-husband Travis Cook out of his apartment
by saying she had cold medicine for one of their 3-year-twins,
reports the AP. Security camera footage captured her hiding in
the hallway as he walked out to the parking lot. Police say she
then sneaked into the apartment, where she ended up shooting
Williams, her ex-husband's new girlfriend, who had been making
Christmas tree ornaments with the twins.
Authorities say Travis Cook managed to get the gun away from his
ex-wife and pin her to a wall until police arrived. Williams'
mother and sister tell the AP that they feared for her safety
after Cook harassed her and bullied her online for months. Public
records state that Cook was charged with misdemeanor domestic
violence last month after arguing with her ex-husband when he
tried to pick up the twins. Court records state that she yelled
"disparaging comments" about Williams, who was not present, and
grabbed her ex-husband by the hair, causing him to tumble down
stairs. Cook, who worked as a health and yoga teacher at a Lehi
high school, is being held without bail.
From: Kitty
Re: Locked icons
Dear Webby,
here i am again. how do i unlock the icons. to where we can
move them around the screen. not all bunched toughther. ?
Kitty
Dear Kitty
Right-click on the desktop and choose Arrange Icons.
Unclick Auto Arrange.
Unclick Align to grid.
They should now stay where you put them.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Sandie for this story:
The doctor said to a patient's husband, "I'm sorry. We did
all that was humanly possible, but we just can't wake her
from her coma. It doesn't look good, I'm afraid."
"But doctor, she's so young! She's only thirty-nine."
Upon which the comatose wife weakly said, "Thirty-seven!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Old buddies Father Mulhaney and Rabbi Silverman were having
their monthly breakfast. Father Mulhaney was enjoying his usual
bacon and eggs, while Rabbi Silverman was savoring his lox
and bagels .
Father Mulhaney asked, "Would you like to try a piece of bacon?
Lots of people eat bacon, and it is very tasty. Why don't
you try a piece?"
Rabbi Silverman replied, "You are quite right, my friend.
I think I will try some bacon."
"When?" asked the priest.
"At your wedding, of course," responded the rabbi.
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Storing Dry Dog Food
If you have a large dog, store dog food in a plastic garbage
can or large tub. For smaller dogs, you can you use a small
plastic tub or one of those decorative tins that popcorn
comes in. Just empty the bag of dry food into the container
and keep a scoop in it.
Tip provided by
Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
 |
C
Stop Everything and Discover the World of 3D Cat Portraiture
|
___________________________________________________
Today at work, the boss wanted to know when Father's Day
was. "Easy," I answered. "It's nine months before Mother's
Day."
___________________________________________________
While I was preaching in a church in Mississippi, the pastor
announced that their prison quartet would be singing the
following evening.
I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked
forward to hearing them.
The next evening, I was puzzled when four members of the
church approached the stage. Then the pastor introduced them.
"This is our prison quartet," he said, "behind a few bars and
always looking for the key."
___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
>From Tom
My mother has a "lead foot," so I was not surprised when a
state trooper pulled us over as we were speeding through
Georgia.
Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear
shocked when the trooper walked up to the car.
"I have never been stopped like this before," she said to
the officer.
"What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires
out?"
___________________________________________________
Today December 8 in
1765 Eli Whitney was born in Westboro, MA. Whitney invented the
cotton gin and developed the concept of mass-production of
interchangeable parts. Before him only plows were mass produced
with interchangeable parts.
1776 George Washington's retreating army in the American
Revolution crossed the Delaware River from New Jersey to
Pennsylvania.
1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate
Conception. The theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus, was free
of original sin from the moment she was conceived.
1863 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln announced his plan for the
Reconstruction of the South.
1863 Tom King of England defeated American John Heenan and became
the first world heavyweight champion.
1886 At a convention of union leaders in Columbus, OH, the
American Federation of Labor was founded.
1941 The United States entered World War II when it declared war
against Japan. The act came one day after the Japanese attacked
Pearl Harbor. Canada declared war on Japan on the day of the
Pearl Harbor attack.
1949 The Chinese Nationalist government moved from the Chinese
mainland to Formosa (Taiwan) due to Communists pressure.
1952 On the show "I Love Lucy," a pregnancy was acknowledged in a
TV show for the first time.
1953 Los Angeles became the third largest city in the United
States.
1962 Workers of the International Typographical Union began
striking and closed nine New York City newspapers. The strike
lasted 114 days and ended April 1, 1963.
1980 Zimbabwe’s manpower minister, Edgar Tekere, was found guilty
in the killing of a white farmer. He was freed under a law that
protected ministers acting to suppress terrorism.
1982 Norman D. Mayer demanding an end to nuclear weapons held the
Washington Monument hostage. He threatened to blow it up with
explosives he claimed were inside a van. 10 hours later he was
shot to death by police.
1984 In Roanoke, Virginia, a jury found Hustler magazine
publisher Larry Flynt innocent of libeling Reverend Jerry Falwell
with a parody advertisement. However Falwell was awarded $200,000
for emotional distress.
1987 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev
signed a treaty agreeing to destroy their nations' arsenals of
intermediate-range nuclear missiles.
1987 The "intefadeh" (Arabic for uprising) by Palestinians in the
Israeli-occupied territories began.
1989 Communist leaders in Czechoslovakia offered to surrender
their control over the government and accept a minority role in a
coalition Cabinet.
1991 Russia, Byelorussia and Ukraine declared the Soviet national
government to be dead. They forged a new alliance to be known as
the Commonwealth of Independent States. The act was denounced by
Russian President Gorbachev as unconstitutional.
1992 Americans got to see live television coverage of U.S. troops
landing on the beaches of Somalia during Operation Restore Hope.
(Due to the time difference, it was December 9 in Somalia.)
1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the North American
Free Trade Agreement.
1994 Bosnian Serbs released dozens of hostage peacekeepers, but
continued to detain about 300 others.
1994 In Los Angeles, 12 alternate jurors were chosen for the O.J.
Simpson murder trial.
1997 The second largest bank was created with the announcement
that Union Bank Switzerland and the Swiss Bank Corporation would
merge. The combined assets were more than $590 billion.
1997 Jenny Shipley was sworn in as the first female prime
minister of New Zealand.
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police could not search a
person or their cars after ticketing for a routine traffic
violation.
1998 The FBI opened its files on Frank Sinatra to the public. The
file contained over 1,300 pages.
1998 Nkem Chukwu and Iyke Louis Udobi's first of eight babies was
born. The other seven were delivered 12 days later.
1998 AT&T Corp. announced that it was buying IBM's data
networking business for $5 billion cash.
1998 The first female ice hockey game in Olympic history was
played. Finland beat Sweden 6-0.
1999 In Memphis, TN, a jury found that Rev. Martin Luther King
Jr. had been the victim of a vast murder conspiracy, not a lone
assassin.
1999 Russia and Belarus agreed in principle to form an economic
and political confederation.
2000 Mario Lemieux announced to the Pittsburgh Penguins that he
planned to return to the National Hockey League (NHL) as a player
at age 35. He would be the first modern owner-player in U.S. pro
sports.
2018 smiled.
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Friday, December 7, 2018, 10:01 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Thank you very much, Frank!!!
Today is Friday, December 7
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Naked N.H. attacked police officer.
He got tased and jailed.
https://youtu.be/hBq_r1-G_4E
______________________________________________________
Today, December 7 in
1941 Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu was
attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack resulted in
Canada declaring war on Japan, followed a day later by the USA.
That caused the U.S. to enter into World War II.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for
appointment by the corrupt few.
--- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children
have teenagers of their own.
--- Doug Larson
______________________________________________________
>From Ed
I walked into Dairy Queen the other day and asked
for a hot fudge sundae with extra hot fudge.
The girl replied, "The hot fudge only comes in one
temperature, Sir."
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital
(a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for
coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the
groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by
a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.
"Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun,
gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however,
how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you
covered by insurance?"
"No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.
"Then can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun.
"I'm afraid I cannot, Sister."
"Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun
questioned sternly.
"Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's
a humble spinster nun."
"Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not
spinsters - they are married to God."
"Wonderful," said Mr. Smith. "In that case, please send
the bill to my brother-in-law."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Two voices, male and female, on an overnight
"red eye" plane flight. "I think everyone's
asleep, lets go"
Sound of steps.
"This one's empty. No ones is looking. You
go in first"
"It a bit cramped, let me sit down"
"Have you got the condom? Quick, put it on"
Sniff sniff "Ah perfume you think of everything"
"This is great..." (long sigh)
Static on the loud speaker then a new voice.
"This is the captain speaking, to those two
people in the rear toilet. We know what you're
doing and it is expressly forbidden by airline
regulations. Now put those cigarettes out and
take the condom off the fake smoke detector!"
-------------
Frequent fliers know that airplane toilets have
"fart extractors", the smelly air is suckd down the toilet
and allowed to escape to the thin air outside. By bending
low over the toilet, as if praying to Ralph, the god of
drunks, you can have that smelly cigarette, that is
between going berserk and relaxed calmness.
______________________________________________________
So much for Algorian Warming!
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Richard Chase, 52,
Merrimack,
New Hampshire
Naked N.H. attacked police officer.
He got tased and jailed.
A man walking completely naked in the parking lot of a Merrimack
hotel was stunned with a Taser on Friday night after police say
he tried to punch an officer.
Richard Chase, 52, has been charged with indecent exposure,
attempted assault and resisting arrest.
A man walking completely naked in the parking lot of a Merrimack
hotel was stunned with a Taser on Friday night after police say
he tried to punch an officer.
Richard Chase, 52, has been charged with indecent exposure,
attempted assault and resisting arrest.
From: Helene
Re: No Right Click
Dear Webby,
Although I disagree with most of your political & social
beliefs, your letter is really addictive and, hate to admit this,
but enjoy -- a lot. So, thanks. Before I go through an
elaborate process, any hints about what causes the right
button of a mouse to suddenly stop functioning? It worked
fine yesterday. Appreciate any advice.
Helene
Dear Helene
First go into Settings, Control Panel, Mouse, Buttons
and make sure that right clicking has not been turned off
by some left-wing liberal program.
If that is OK, shake and bash the mouse on the table.
Don't be too gentle, except with the mouse cord. Make sure
that there won't be any strain on the mouse cord during that.
If that does not help either, replace the mouse. They are
not made to last forever.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a Jewish
rabbi were discussing when life begins.
"Life begins," said the priest, "at the moment of
fertilization. That is when God instills the spark
of life into the fetus."
"We believe," said the minister, "that life begins at
birth, because that is when the baby becomes an
individual and is capable of making its own decisions
and must learn about sin."
"You're both wrong," said the rabbi. "Life begins
when the children have graduated from college
and moved out of the house."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Christmas Break was over and the teacher was
asking the class about their vacations. She
turned to little Johnny and asked what he did
over the break.
"We visited my grandmother in Punxsutawney,
Pennsylvania," he replied.
"That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word,"
the teacher said. "Can you tell the class how
you spell that?"
Little Johnny thought about it and said, "You know,
come to think of it, we went to Acron, Ohio."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Storing Video Tapes
Be careful that your video and camcorder tapes are stored
away from electronics that have a magnetic field, like
stereo speakers and TV's. Store your tapes somewhere
dry and room temperature (60-70 F). Consider having
a backup created on DVD of irreplaceable home movies.
Tip provided by
Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Cool ceiling! I love the way it ripples.
|
___________________________________________________
Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house.
Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight
into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second
piece of cake."
"No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could
make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces
without asking."
___________________________________________________
A young man volunteered to babysit one night so his mom
could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters
upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football. One
child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept
sending him back.
At 9:00 p.m., the doorbell rang. It was the next-door
neighbor, Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The
young man brusquely replied, "No."
Just then a little head appeared over the banister and a
voice shouted, "I'm here, Mom, but he won't let me go home."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Father - Daughter Talk
A young woman was about to finish her first year of
college. Like so many others her age, she considered
herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and among other
liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes
to support more government programs; in other words,
redistribution of wealth.
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather
staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed.
Based on the lectures that she had participated in,
and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt
that her father had for years harbored an evil,
selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.
One day, she was challenging her father on his
opposition to higher taxes on the rich, and the need
for more government programs. The self-professed
objectivity proclaimed by her professor had to be the
truth, and she indicated so to her father.
He responded by asking how she was doing in school.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she
had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to
maintain, insisting that she was taking a very
difficult course load and was constantly studying,
which left her no time to go out and party like other
people she knew. She didn't even have time for a
boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends
either because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listened, then asked, "How is your friend
Audrey doing?" She replied, "Audrey is barely getting
by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies,
and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on
campus; college for her is a blast. She's always
invited to all the parties, and lots of times she
doesn't even show up for classes because she's too
hung over."
Her father asked her, "Why don't you go to the Dean's
office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and
give it to your friend Audrey, who only has a 2.0?
That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA, and certainly
that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."
The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's
suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea!
How would that be fair? I've worked really hard for my
grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard
work. And she's done next to nothing toward her
degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"
The father slowly smiled and said gently, "Welcome to
the Republican Party."
___________________________________________________
Today December 7 in
1431 In Paris, Henry VI of England was crowned King of France.
1787 Delaware became the first state to ratify the U.S.
constitution becoming the first of the United States.
1907 At London's National Sporting Club, Eugene Corri became the
first referee to officiate from inside a boxing ring.
1925 Swimmer Johnny Weissmuller set a world record in the 150-
yard freestyle with a time of 1 minute, 25 and 2/5 seconds. He
went on to play "Tarzan" in several movies.
1926 The gas operated refrigerator was patented by The Electrolux
Servel Corporation.
I had one of those in the Yukon.
1941 Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu was
attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack resulted in
Canada declaring war on Japan, followed a day later by the USA.
Tht caused the U.S. to enter into World War II.
1946 A fire at the Winecoff Hotel in Atlanta killed 119 people.
It was America's worst hotel fire disaster. The hotel founder, W.
Frank Winecoff, was also killed in the fire.
1971 Libya announced the nationalization of British Petroleum's
assets.
1972 Apollo 17 was launched at Cape Canaveral. It was the last
U.S. moon mission.
1972 Imelda Marcos, wife of Philippine President Ferdinand E.
Marcos, was stabbed and seriously wounded by an assailant. The
man was then shot and killed by her bodyguards.
1974 President Makarios returned to Cyprus after five months in
exile.
1980 General Antonio Ramlho Eanes was reelected president of
Portugal. His right-wing opposition was thrown into disarray by
the death of Premier Francisco Sa Carneiro in a plane crash.
1982 Charlie Brooks Junior, a convicted murderer, became the
first prisoner in the U.S. to be executed by injection, at a
prison in Huntsville, TX.
1983 Madrid, Spain, an Aviaco DC-9 collided on a runway with an
Iberia Air Lines Boeing 727 that was accelerating for takeoff.
The collision resulted in the death of all 42 people aboard the
DC-9 and 51 on the Iberia jet.
1987 Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev set foot on American soil
for the first time. He had come to the U.S. for a Washington
summit with U.S. President Reagan.
1987 43 people were killed when a gunman opened fire on a fellow
passenger and the two pilots aboard a Pacific Southwest Airlines
jetliner.
1988 An estimated 25,000 people were killed when a major
earthquake hit northern Armenia in the Soviet Union. The quake
measured 6.9 on the Richter Scale.
1988 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev announced the
reduction of the number of Soviet military troops by half a
million.
1989 East Germany's Communist Party agreed to cooperate with the
plan for free elections and a revised constitution.
1992 The U.S. Supreme Court rejected a Mississippi abortion law
which, required women to get counseling and then wait 24 hours
before terminating their pregnancies.
1993 Six people were killed and 17 were injured when a gunman
opened fire on a Long Island Rail Road commuter train.
1993 Energy Secretary Hazel O'Leary revealed that the U.S.
government had conducted more than 200 nuclear weapons tests in
secret at its Nevada test site.
1993 Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders suggested that the U.S.
government study the impact of drug legalization.
1995 A probe sent from the Galileo spacecraft entered into
Jupiter's atmosphere. The probe sent back data to the mothership
before it was presumably destroyed.
1996 The space shuttle Columbia returned from the longest-ever
shuttle flight of 17 days, 15 hours and 54 minutes.
1998 The U.N. evacuated 14 peacekeepers that were trapped by
fighting between army and rebel forces in central Angola.
1998 U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno declined to seek an
independent counsel investigation of President Clinton over 1996
campaign financing.
1999 A U.S. federal grand jury indicted a former convict in the
1995 disappearance of atheist leader Madalyn Murray O'Hair.
2002 In Amsterdam, Netherlands, two Van Gogh paintings were
stolen from the Van Gogh Museum. The two works were "View of the
Sea st Scheveningen" and "Congregation Leaving the Reformed
Church in Nuenen." On July 26, 2004, two men were convicted for
the crime and were sentenced to at least four years in prison
each.
2002 In Mymensingh, Bangladesh, four movies theaters were bombed
within 30 minutes of each other. At least 15 people were killed
and over 200 were injured.
2003 A 12-inch by 26-inch painting of a river landscape and
sailing vessel by Martin Johnson Heade was sold at auction for $1
million. The painting was found in the attic of a suburban Boston
home where it had been stored for more than 60 years.
2018 smiled.
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Thursday, December 6, 2018, 10:03 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, December 6
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
300-pound woman pleads guilty to fatally
attacking, crushing boyfriend
https://youtu.be/hBq_r1-G_4E
______________________________________________________
Today, December 6 in
1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a
state education system.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed
in overalls and looks like work.
--- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931)
______________________________________________________
A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles
shouting frantically, 'Marian, Marian!'
Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her,
'You shouldn't call me 'Marian.' I'm your mother, you know.'
'I know,' said the child, 'but the store is full of mothers.'
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered
that he had a cavity that would have to be filled.
"Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling
would you like for that tooth?"
"Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday
afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl
coming from the other direction.
"Hello," said the little boy
"Hi," replied the little girl.
"Where are you going?" asked the little boy.
"I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home,"
answered the little girl.
"I'm also on my way home from church. Which church do you go to?"
asked the little boy.
"I go to the Baptist church back down the road," replied the
little girl. "What about you?"
"I go to the Methodist church back at the top of the hill,"
replied the little boy.
They discover that they are both going the same way so they
decided that they'd walk together.
They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had
partially flooded the road, so there was no way that they could
get across to the other side without getting wet.
"If I get my new Sunday dress wet, my Mom's going to skin me
alive," said the little girl.
"My Mom'll tan my hide, too, if I get my new Sunday suit wet,"
replied the little boy.
"I tell you what I think I'll do," said the little girl. "I'm
gonna pull off all my clothes and hold them over my head and wade
across."
"That's a good idea,"replied the little boy. "I'm going to do the
same thing with my suit."
So they both undressed and waded across to the other side without
getting their clothes wet. They were standing there in the sun
waiting to drip dry before putting their clothes back on, when
the little boy finally remarked
"You know, I never realized before just how much difference there
really is between a Baptist and a Methodist!
______________________________________________________
Lightbulb changing in Chicago
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Windi Thomas,
44.
Erie
Pennsylvania
300-pound woman pleads guilty to fatally
attacking, crushing boyfriend
A woman has pleaded guilty to killing her boyfriend by stabbing
him, hitting him with a table leg and crushing him under the
weight of her roughly 300 pounds.
Windi Thomas, of Erie, faces a sentence of 18 to 36 years after
pleading guilty to third-degree murder. She had been scheduled
for trial next week, but instead will be sentenced on Dec. 21.
The 44-year-old Thomas admitted killing Keeno Butler last March,
partially by lying on top of him. Thomas weighs about 300 pounds,
while the 44-year-old Butler weighed about 120 pounds.
The Erie Times-News reports Thomas told investigators she had
been drinking throughout the day and left the apartment to
purchase crack cocaine. After she returned home, she was sitting
on the couch with a knife and, at one point, cut Butler's hand.
Thomas told police that Butler went to the kitchen and returned
with a table leg, which she took from him and used to hit him on
the head. As the two wrestled on the ground, Thomas said she was
able to pin Butler down. Thomas then called 911 and reported she
had killed someone.
Butler’s death was ruled a homicide “caused by respiratory
insufficiency secondary to blunt force trauma to the neck and
thoracic compression, exacerbated by blunt force trauma to the
head,” according to the affidavit.
Butler's sister said her family is still coping with her
brother's death and had been hoping for a longer prison sentence
for Thomas.
“I feel like she should have 40 or more,” Sandra Butler said.
“She deserved life.”
From: Joan
Re: Touch Pad
Dear Webby,
You told me once in the 90's to put a cardboard into
the touchpad depression. I did. And carefully moved it
to new machines every time a machine had to be replaced.
My cardboard is thin enough so that if I really whack it
with my thumb, it works like the Enter key.
Just light movement of the thumb does not affect it at all.
I am perfectly happy with your solution.
Thanks
Joan
Dear Joan
Thanks for the feedback!
It is rare that people tell me how a solution worked.
I do appreciate it!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A bishop discovered a tribe of Indians in the
Amazon who had never recorded a baptism, confirm-
ation or marriage. The bishop soon rectified the
situation by baptizing and confirming everyone.
He also married every couple that walked by and
desired such.
Later, the tribal chief told the Bishop the tribe
had never had so much fun. The bishop asked the
chief which part they enjoyed the most.
"The marriage service," the chief said, smiling.
"We all got new wives!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
While attending a convention, I breakfasted in a cafe,
next to two gray-haired men from the same symposium.
I overheard one remark, "You know, this is the first time in
40 years we've gone to one of these without our wives."
His pal leaned back, contemplating what such freedom
might portend. "I know," he said, laying his menu aside.
"Let's have biscuits and gravy!"
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Eat Half Your Entree
Restaurant serving sizes are often more than a person can
or should eat. Try this: as soon as the server sets down a
plate, divide your meal in half. Eat half at the restaurant and
take the other half home to eat for lunch the following day.
Tip provided by
Thriftyfun.com
Denny's Restaurants tend to get carried
away a bit, in some
towns. Here is a picture of my dad when I took him into Dennys
for a well deserved Banana Split in Barstow one year. We had been
driving and running through the desert all day, taking pictures
of cacti, but that was too much.
Dennys also used to get quite carried away with their Chef Salad.
You can eat one normal portion and have enough left over to
take home for side salads for four people the next day.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
____________________________________________________
|
|
To each his own......I guess.
|
___________________________________________________
Judy, the editor of a trivia publication, was
having trouble with her computer. So she called Prem,
the computer guy, over to her desk.
Prem clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, Judy called after him, "So,
what was wrong?"
And he replied, "It was just an "ID ten T" error."
A puzzled expression ran over Judy's face. "An "ID ten
T" error? What's that?.. in case I need to fix it
again??"
He gave her a grin...
"Haven't you ever heard of an "ID ten T" error before?"
"No," replied Judy.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it
out."
She wrote..... I D 1 0 T
___________________________________________________
During our Marine boot-camp class on combat gear, the
drill instructor told us to put on the equipment we had been
issued; then he would inspect us.
Soon after, a frantic recruit, helmet liner in hand, ran up to
the DI. "Sir," he began, "the private's helmet liner does not fit
the private's head, sir."
The DI, obviously perturbed that the recruit hadn't listened to
his instructions on how to adjust the liner, looked into the
Marine's face. "Okay, private," he said. "This is what I want you
to do. Go into the gear locker, find a new head to fit your
helmet liner and use that one!"
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
A missionary recruit goes to Venezuela for the first time,
struggling with the language. He visits one of the local churches
and sits in the front row.
So as not to make a fool of himself, he decides to pick someone
out of the crowd to imitate. He decides to follow the man sitting
next to him in the front pew. As they sing, the man claps his
hands, so the missionary recruit claps, too. When the man stands
up to pray, the missionary recruit stands up, too. When the man
sits down, the missionary sits down.
Later in the service, the man next to him stands up again, so the
missionary stands up, too.
Suddenly a hush falls over the entire congregation. A few people
gasp.
The missionary looks around and sees that no one else is
standing. So he sits down.
After the service ends, the missionary recruit greets the
preacher. "I take it you don't speak Spanish," the preacher says.
The missionary replies, "No, I don't. Is it that obvious?"
"Well yes," the preacher says. "I announced that the Acosta
family had a new-born baby boy, and I asked the proud father to
please stand up."
___________________________________________________
Today December 6 in
1735 In London, French surgeon Claudius Amyand peformed the first
successful appendectomy at St. George's Hospital. The patient was
an 11-year old boy that had swallowed a pin.
1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a state
education system.
1865 The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified.
The amendment abolished slavery in the U.S.
1876 The city of Anaheim was incorporated for a second time.
1877 Thomas Edison demonstrated the first gramophone, with a
recording of himself reciting Mary Had a Little Lamb.
1883 "Ladies' Home Journal" was published for the first time.
1884 The construction of the Washington Monument was completed by
Army engineers. The project took 34 years.
1889 Jefferson Davis died in New Orleans. He was the first and
only president of the Confederate States of America.
1907 In Monongah, WV, 361 people were killed in America's worst
mine disaster.
1917 More than 1,600 people died when two munitions ships
collided in the harbor at Halifax, Nova Scotia.
1917 Finland proclaimed independence from Russia.
1921 The Catholic Irish Free State was created as a self-
governing dominion of Britain when an Anglo-Irish treaty was
signed.
1923 U.S. President Calvin Coolidge became the first president to
give a presidential address that was broadcast on radio.
1926 In Italy, Benito Mussolini introduced a tax on bachelors.
1947 Everglades National Park in Florida was dedicated by U.S.
President Truman.
1957 AFL-CIO members voted to expel the International Brotherhood
of Teamsters. The Teamsters were readmitted in 1987.
1957 America's first attempt at putting a satellite into orbit
failed when the satellite blew up on the launch pad at Cape
Canaveral, FL.
1973 Gerald R. Ford was sworn in as the vice-president of the
United States after vice-president Spiro Agnew resigned.
1982 11 soldiers and 6 civilians were killed when a bomb exploded
in a pub in Ballykelly, Northern Ireland. The Irish National
Liberation Army was responsible for planting the bomb.
1983 In Jerusalem, a bomb planted on a bus exploded killing six
Israelis and wounding 44.
1985 Congressional negotiators reached an agreement on a deficit-
cutting proposal that later became the Gramm-Rudman-Hollings law.
1989 The worst mass shooting in Canadian history occurred when a
man gunned down 14 women at the University of Montreal's school
of engineering. The man then killed himself.
1989 Egon Krenz resigned as leader of East Germany.
1990 Iraq announced that it would release all its 2,000 foreign
hostages.
1992 Germany's primary political parties agreed to tighten
postwar asylum laws.
1992 In India, thousands of Hindu extremists destroyed a mosque.
The following two months of Hindu-Muslim rioting resulted in at
least 2,000 people being killed.
1993 Former priest James R. Porter was sentenced to 18 to 20
years in prison. Porter had admitted molesting 28 children in the
1960s.
1994 Orange County, CA, filed for bankruptcy protection due to
investment losses of about $2 billion. The county is one of the
richest in the U.S. and became the largest municipality to file
for bankruptcy.
1997 A Russian Antonov 124 military transport crashed into a
residential area in Irkutsk, Russia, shortly after takeoff. 70
people were killed.
1998 In Venezuela, former Lieutenant Colonel Hugo Chavez was
elected president. He had staged a bloody coup attempt against
the government six years earlier.
1998 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavour connected the
first two building blocks of the international space station in
the shuttle cargo bay.
2002 Winona Ryder was sentenced to 36 months of probation and 480
hours of community service stemming from her conviction for
shoplifting from Saks Fifth Avenue. She was also ordered to pay
$10,000 in fines and restitution.
2002 Officials released the detailed plans for a $4.7 million
memorial commemorating Princess Diana. The large oval fountain
was planned to be constructed in London's Hyde Park.
2018 smiled.
|
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Wednesday, December 5, 2018, 09:47 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, December 5
Where I grew up in Austria, December 5 was the day Santa
came by, and read the kids the riot act about their behavior
during the year.
Because of my frequently not so exemplary behavior, I was often
threatened with getting sent to Jagdberg, an ancient castle
converted to a juvenile jail and reform school. Well, I never
quite got sent there.
When I was 18 a college professor volunteered me to go play Santa
at Jagdberg. Beside stage fright, there was the fear they would
lock me up there, but I dressed up in the supplied garments,
hopped on my motorcycle and roared up there.
At Jagdberg they gave me a glass of Cherry Water Schnapps to calm
my nerves, and for each classroom a stack of papers. I called the
name on the top sheet, and read that kid's sins, then gave him or
her a paper bag filled with goodies.
Probably thanks to the Schnapps by the time I got to the second
classroom, I got right into my act and really lit into the little
twerps.
I think they had about 16 classrooms, but by the time I was done
with them all, I was sorry it was already finished.
They gave me a couple of very tasty salami sandwiches and a
coffee, and I left.
On the way back I stopped at the place where my gtirlfriend
stayed, a dormitory attached to the hospital nunnery. She tossed
the key down when she heard my bike, and I silently crept up the
stone steps to her floor and her room.
Well some other girl was lurking and so I had to play Santa for
her too. I only had a small bag of goodies for my girlfriend, so
the lurker just got a hug and a kiss and a grope from Santa. She
was happy.
And shortly after that, my girlfriend was made happy by Santa
himself.
The sky was just beginning to lighten in the East when I finally
rode my bike home.
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Mom charged after OWI arrest led to
4-year-old being found alone in tow lot
______________________________________________________
Today, December 5 in
1951 The first push button-controlled garage opened in
Washington, DC.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Writing well means never having to say,
'I guess you had to be there.'
--- Jef Mallett, Frazz, 07-29-07
Mustard's no good without roast beef.
--- Chico Marx (1891 - 1961)
______________________________________________________
David was a crotchety old fellow who always took breakfast with
his wife. He would read the morning paper while she fumed at his
neglect, and today of all days because it was their 25th wedding
anniversary.
“David!! David!! Put down that paper and let’s talk about how we
are going to celebrate our wedding anniversary today. What do
you suggest?”
David put his newspaper down, removed and polished his glasses,
stared for a moment into the distance, then said, “How about two
minutes of silence?”
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Mary for this:
When you get angry it's because you're ill-tempered...
It just happens that my nerves are bothering me.
When you don't like someone it's because you're prejudiced...
I just happen to be a good judge of human nature.
When you compliment people it's because you use flattery
to get your way... I only encourage people.
When you take a long time to do a job it's because you're
unbearable slow and pokey...
I take a long time because I believe in quality workmanship.
When you spend your paycheck in 24 hours, it's because
you're a spendthrift...
When I do, it's because I'm generous.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
An English professor wrote the words,
"A woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and
directed the students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."
______________________________________________________
I see you!
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Blair Springfield,
28,
Milwaukee County,
Wisconsin
Mom charged after OWI arrest led to
4-year-old being found alone in tow lot
pleads not guilty
A 28-year-old Milwaukee mother whose OWI arrest led to her 4-
year-old daughter being found alone in a van in the city tow lot
hours later has been ordered to stand trial. On Tuesday, Nov. 27
Blair Springfield waived her right to a preliminary hearing, and
pleaded not guilty.
Springfield faces 10 charges:
- OWI, first offense, with a passenger under the age of
16
- Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6
years or disability)
- Neglecting a child (specified harm did not occur)
- Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6
years or disability)
- Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6
years or disability)
- Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6
years or disability)
- OWI, first offense with a passenger under the age of
16
- Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6
years or disability
- Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6
years or disability
- Operating with a prohibited alcohol concentration with a
passenger under the age of 16
Springfield pleaded not guilty to three of the charges on
Saturday, Nov. 17, when she appeared in court for the first time
— Count 1, Count 3, Count 7 and Count 10. Cash bond was set at
$1,500.
Springfield was taken into custody near 39th and Forest Home on
Nov. 12, after prosecutors said she passed out behind the wheel
of a minivan.
She was not charged in that case.
Her adult passenger and baby were removed from the vehicle, but
the 4-year-old was left in the back seat. Prosecutors said the
child was not mentioned by her mother and also missed by
officers.
The incident happened just weeks after prosecutors said
Springfield passed out in a McDonald's drive-thru with children
and bottles of vodka in the car.
Milwaukee County Circuit Court Judge Cynthia Davis ordered the
latest case go to trial during Springfield's court hearing on
Tuesday.
If convicted, Springfield could gain more time behind bars. She
could also lose the children.
The Milwaukee Police Department has not yet released squad or
body camera footage from Nov. 12, the night Springfield was
arrested.
Springfield's next court appearance has been scheduled for Dec.
5.
From: Joyce
Re: Wandering Arrow
Dear Webby,
I hope you can help me.I thought i seen it once on here
& forgot to save it. What a ninnie i was there. OK when
I am just reading or browesing pages, the arrow on my laptop
just takes off. How can i stop it from doing that, but i need
step by step instrustion, or i can't do it cause i am a
ninnie & my daughter don't like helping.
Love your letter every morning
Thank You
Joyce
Dear Joyce
The mouse arrow taking off is usually not due to a program
setting, but to your thumb on the silly touch pad on the laptop.
Since you have a mouse anyway, just cut a piece of cardboard to
just fit the touch pad level with the keyboard area. Problem
solved instantly.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game.
The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and
were watching the action.
A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running
onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his
girlfriend,
"Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best
man next year."
His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said,
"That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose
to a girl. Regardless of how you said it, I accept!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Bernie was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of
the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife
for weeks on end.
Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen,
it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at
the grocery store!"
"Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Bernie boy
decided to call the grocery store.
A clerk answered and Bernie said, "May I speak with the Vice
President of prunes, please?"
The clerk replied, "Dried, canned or frozen?"
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Bank Those Savings for Next Christmas
When I save money by using coupons or buying something on
sale, I put the saved money into a savings account. By the end
of the year I have enough money in the account to pay for
Christmas presents without having to go into debt.
Tip provided by
Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
A 12 million year old praying mantis encased in amber.
|
___________________________________________________
While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a
motorist noted a cop, apparently waist deep in snow, directing
traffic. Feeling sorry for him, the motorist called out "I'm
sorry you have to work half buried in the snow."
The cop called back "Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for
my horse!"
___________________________________________________
A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but they
always had a somewhat lively effect on him. After he
met the woman of his dreams, he made the supreme
sacrifice and gave them up; he couldn't imagine
subjecting his new wife to his beastly emissions. On
his birthday, his car broke down, so he called his wife
and told her he'd have to walk home. He walked past a
cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed
him. Since he was still a couple of miles from home, he
figured he could indulge, and then walk off any ill
effects. So he had three extra-large helpings of beans,
and he "put-putted" all the way home.
His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat
excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most
wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!"
She blindfolded him, and led him to his chair at the
head of the table, making him promise not to peek. At
this point, he was beginning to feel another one coming
on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the
telephone rang and she went to answer it.
While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He
shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not
only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He gasped and felt
for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had
just started to feel better, when another urge came on.
This one sounded like a diesel engine revving, and
smelled worse. He tried flapping his arms, to clear the
air. But another one snuck out, and the windows
rattled, the dishes on the table shook, and a minute
later, the flowers on the table were dead.
When he heard his wife ending her conversation, he
neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands
on top of it. He was the picture of innocence when she
walked in.
Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had
peeked at the dinner. He assured her he had not, so she
removed the blindfold and yelled, "Surprise!!!"
To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner
guests seated around the table for his surprise
birthday party. Two were dead, ten were dyiing.
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer.
A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called,
"What've you got in your truck?"
"Manure," the farmer replied.
"What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.
"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.
"You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put
sugar and cream on ours."
___________________________________________________
Today December 5 in
1560 Charles IX succeeded as King of France on the death of
Francis II.
1766 James Christie, founder of the famous auctioneers, held his
first sale in London.
1797 Napoleon Bonaparte arrived in Paris to command forces for
the invasion of England.
1812 Napoleon Bonaparte left his army as they were retreating
from Russia.
1848 U.S. President Polk triggered the Gold Rush of '49 by
confirming the fact that gold had been discovered in California.
1876 The Stillson wrench was patented by D.C. Stillson. The
device was the first practical pipe wrench.
1904 The Russian fleet was destroyed by the Japanese at Port
Arthur, during the Russo-Japanese War.
1908 At the University of Pittsburgh, numerals were first used on
football uniforms worn by college football players.
1913 Britain outlawed the sending of arms to Ireland.
1932 German physicist Albert Einstein was granted a visa making
it possible for him to enter the U.S. even though he was a Jew.
1933 Prohibition came to an end when Utah became the 36th state
to ratify the 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.
1934 Fighting broke out between Italian and Ethiopian troops on
the Somalian border.
1934 The Soviet Union executed 66 people charged with plotting
against Joseph Stalin's government.
1935 In Montebello, CA, the first commercial hydroponics
operation was established.
1936 The Soviet Union adopted a new Constitution under a Supreme
Council.
1944 During World War II, Allied troops took Ravenna, Italy.
1945 The so-called "Lost Squadron" disappeared. The five U.S.
Navy Avenger bombers carrying 14 Navy flyers began a training
mission at the Ft. Lauderdale Naval Air Station. They were never
heard from again.
1951 The first push button-controlled garage opened in
Washington, DC.
1955 The American Federation of Labor and the Congress of
Industrial Organizations merged to form the AFL-CIO.
1956 British and French forces began a withdrawal from Egypt
during the Suez War.
1958 Britain's first freeway, the Preston by-pass, was opened by
Prime Minister Macmillan.
1961 United Nations forces launched an attack in Katanga, the
Congo, near Elizabethville.
1962 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to cooperate in the
peaceful uses of outer space.
1971 The Soviet Union, at United Nations Security Council, vetoed
a resolution calling for a cease-fire in hostilities between
India and Pakistan over Kashmir.
1976 Jacques Chirac re-founded the Gaullist party as the RPR
(Rassemblement pour la République).
1977 Egypt broke diplomatic relations with Syria, Libya, Algeria,
Iraq and South Yemen due to peaceful relations with Israel.
1978 The American space probe Pioneer Venus I, orbiting Venus,
began beaming back its first information and picture of the
planet.
1979 Sonia Johnson was formally excommunicated by the Mormon
Church due to her outspoken support for the proposed Equal Rights
Amendment to the Constitution.
1983 In west Beirut, Lebanon, more than a dozen people were
killed when a car bomb shattered a nine-story apartment building.
1983 The video arcade game "NFL Football" was unveiled in
Chicago. It was the first video arcade game to be licensed by the
National Football League.
1984 Iran's official news agency quoted the hijackers of a
Kuwaiti jetliner parked at Tehran airport as saying they would
blow up the plane unless Kuwait released 14 imprisoned
extremists.
1985 The Dow Jones Industrial Average rose above 1,500 for the
first time.
1986 The Soviet Union said it would continue to abide by the SALT
II treaty limits on nuclear weapons. This was despite the
decision by the U.S. to exceed them.
1988 Jim Bakker and former aide Richard Dortch were indicted by a
federal grand jury in North Carolina on fraud and conspiracy
charges.
1989 Israeli soldiers killed five heavily armed Arab guerrillas
who crossed the border from Egypt. The guerrillas were allegedly
going to launch a terrorist attack commemorating the anniversary
of the Palestinian uprising.
1989 East Germany's former leaders were placed under house
arrest.
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin kept the power to appoint
Cabinet ministers, defeating a constitutional amendment that
would have put his team of reformers under the control of
Russia's Congress.
1998 James P. Hoffa became the head of the Teamsters union, 23
years after his father was the head. His father disappeared and
was presumed dead.
2001 In Germany, Afghan leaders signed a pact to create a
temporary administration for post-Taliban Afghanistan. Two women
were included in the cabinet structure. Hamid Karzai and his
Cabinet were planned to take over power in Afghanistan on
December 22.
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 300 million applications
downloaded.
2010 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft became the longest-operating
spacecraft ever sent to Mars. The Odyssey entered orbit around
Mars on October 23, 2001.
2014 NASA's Orion Multi-Purpose Crew Vehicle (MPCV) debuted when
it was launched for a four hour test flight. It landed on target
in the Pacific Ocean.
2018 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
| permalink | print article | ( 3.1 / 609 )
Not receiving newsletters Tuesday, December 4, 2018, 08:53 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, December 4
The Gavle Goat, the huge straw goat in Sweden, is up!
They have a web cam working intermittently at
http://visitgavle.se/sv/gavlebocken
It is working a bit once in a while, but they
definitely need some help.
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Man says he's not required to register
vehicle due to personal beliefs. Jailed now
______________________________________________________
Today, December 4 in
1993 The Angolan government and its UNITA guerrilla foes formally
adopted terms for a truce. The conflict was killing an estimated
1,000 people per day.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty
in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
--- Jean Kerr
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute
powerlessness make you pure?
--- Harry Shearer
______________________________________________________
>From Lise
My five children and I were playing hide-and-seek
one evening. With the lights turned off in the house,
the kids scattered to hide, and I was "it."
After a few minutes I located all of them. When it was
my turn to hide, they searched high and low but couldn't
find me.
Finally one of my sons got a bright idea. He went to
the phone and dialed; they found me immediately
because my phone started beeping.
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Sandie for this story:
At the banquet of their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was
asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of
a marriage of such long duration.
"Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all
those wonderful years with your wife?"
Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best
teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness,
self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities
you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single!"
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary,
Billy-Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda-Sue
to a memorable evening at home.
Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne, he called her into
the bathroom and they spent a sensual evening soaking in the
tub by candlelight.
When they were finished, Billy-Bob decided he couldn't let
all that expensive champagne go to waste, so he carefully
poured it back into the empty bottles.
However, when he was finished, he found he had nearly a
half-bottle too much.
______________________________________________________
Lake Michigan
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Steven Logan
Lincoln,
Nebraska
Man says he's not required to register
vehicle due to personal beliefs
Lincoln Police arrested a 35-year-old-man for failing to comply
with an officer during a traffic stop when he said he didn't have
to register his vehicle due to personal beliefs.
Officers pulled over Steven Logan near 42nd and Baldwin streets
on Nov. 29th, shortly after 9 p.m.
After parking his car, police say Logan starting walking away
from his vehicle.
The officer told him to stop but he refused and kept walking so
the officer grabbed Logan's arm. The officer then noticed Logan
had a firearm and detained him.
When asked for his identification, he told the officer that due
to his personal beliefs, he's not required to register his
vehicle.
He was arrested for failing to comply, no insurance and no valid
registration.
From: Kathy
Re: Not receiving newsletter
Dear Webby,
Why haven't I been getting any emails from you I haven't gotten
any in a while now
Dear Kathy
Your subscription goes out to kg*****@gmail.com
Check your spam and trash and categories.
You can search ALL MAIL
You might have to make a filter to ensure GMAIL does not put your
Humor Letter anywhere else but in the INBOX.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr.
Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong.
She must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."
The vicar spoke to Jane in Sunday School, and said,
"Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your
nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy
businessman learned this the hard way after ordering
his nurses around as if they were his employees. But
the head nurse stood up to him. One morning she entered
his room and announced, "I have to take your
temperature."
After complaining for several minutes, he finally
settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
"No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated," but for this
reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."
This started another round of complaining, but eventually
he rolled over and bared his bottom. After feeling the nurse
insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have
to get something. Now you stay just like that until I
get back!"
She left the door to his room open on her way out, and he
cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past
his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's
doctor came into the room.
"What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the
man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever
seen someone having their temperature taken?"
"Yes," said the doctor. "But never with a carnation."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Save Old Toothbrushes
Save old toothbrushes to use in your cleaning kit and tool
box. Hard bristled toothbrushes work well for cleaning
stubborn grout or hard to reach places. Soft bristled
toothbrushes are effective on jewelry. They are useful
for a variety of cleaning jobs.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Peter Jackson's Restored and Colorized WW1 Film is Unlike Anything I've Seen
|
___________________________________________________
Soon after I retired from the Air Force, I went to work in a
warehouse where several other military retirees were employed.
One day we received a large crate too big to fit in our storage
area. A retired Army sergeant major immediately took charge.
After 45 minutes of rearranging items and using various lifting
devices, he finally got the crate in place. "And that's how the
Army gets things done!" he boasted.
"That's the Army way," said an Air Force retiree. "The Air Force
would have made the delivery person put the crate away and
gone for coffee."
___________________________________________________
>From Ann
Today Is Not a Good Day
Today is not a good day.
I woke up sick in bed.
My stomach has a stabbing pain
thats spreading to my head.
My knees are weak and achy.
My eyes are full of flu.
I fear I may contaminate;
I have a fever too.
I cannot see.
I cannot breathe.
I cannot read or write.
My eyes are shut.
My nose is blocked.
Im not a pretty sight.
I cannot lift a finger
or move a tired toe.
My throat is hot and scratchy.
The answers simply NO . . .
I cannot go to school today;
Im awfully sorry too,
this had to happen on the day
my book report was due.
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
1812 Peter Gaillard patented the power mower.
1867 The National Grange of Husbandry was founded.
1875 William Marcy Tweed, the "Boss" of New York City's Tammany
Hall political organization, escaped from jail and fled from the
U.S.
1918 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson set sail for France to attend
the Versailles Peace Conference. Wilson became the first chief
executive to travel to Europe while in office.
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the dismantling
of the Works Progress Administration. The program had been
created in order to provide jobs during the Great Depression.
1942 U.S. bombers attacked the Italian mainland for the first
time during World War II.
1943 Baseball Commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis announced that
any club was free to employ black players.
1945 The U.S. Senate approved American participation in the
United Nations.
1965 The U.S. launched Gemini 7 with Air Force Lt. Col. Frank
Borman and Navy Comdr. James A. Lovell on board.
1973 Pioneer 10 reached Jupiter.
1977 Jean-Bedel Bokassa, ruler of the Central African Empire,
crowned himself emperor in a ceremony believed to have cost more
than $100 million. He was deposed 2 years later.
1978 Dianne Feinstein became San Francisco's first woman mayor
when she was named to replace George Moscone, who had been
murdered.
1979 For the second time, the United Nations Security Council
voted unanimously to urge Iran to free American hostages that had
been taken on November 4.
1980 The bodies of four American nuns slain in El Salvador two
days earlier were unearthed. Five national guardsmen were later
convicted of the murders.
1983 U.S. jet fighters struck Syrian anti-aircraft positions in
Lebanon in retaliation for attacks directed at American
reconnaissance planes. Navy Lt. Robert O. Goodman Jr. was shot
down and captured by Syria.
1984 A five-day hijack drama began as four men seized a Kuwaiti
airliner en route to Pakistan and forced it to land in Tehran.
Two American passengers were killed by the hijackers.
1986 Both U.S. houses of Congress moved to establish special
committees to conduct their own investigations of the Iran-Contra
affair.
1987 Cuban inmates at a federal prison in Atlanta freed their 89
hostages, peacefully ending an 11-day uprising.
1988 The government of Argentina announced that hundreds of
heavily armed soldiers had ended a four-day military revolt.
1990 Iraq promised to release 3,300 Soviet citizens it was
holding.
1991 Associated Press correspondent Terry Anderson was released
after nearly seven years in captivity in Lebanon.
1991 Pan American World Airways ceased operations.
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered American troops to
lead a mercy mission to Somalia.
1993 The Angolan government and its UNITA guerrilla foes formally
adopted terms for a truce. The conflict was killing an estimated
1,000 people per day.
1994 Bosnian Serbs released 53 out of about 400 UN peacekeepers
they were holding as insurance against further NATO airstrikes.
1997 The National Basketball Association (NBA) suspended Latrell
Sprewell of the Golden State Warriors for one year for choking
and threatening to kill his coach, P.J. Carlesimo.
2000 O.J. Simpson was involved in an incident with another
motorist in Miami, FL. Simpson was accused of scratching the
other motorists face while pulling off the man's glasses.
2001 O.J. Simpson's home in Florida was raided by the FBI in an
ongoing two year international investigation into drug
trafficking, satellite service pilfering and money laundering. An
unused satellite TV tuner kit was taken from Simpson's home and
no drugs were found.
2018 smiled.
|
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| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 643 )
Monday, December 3, 2018, 08:00 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, December 3
The Gavle Goat, the huge straw goat in Sweden, is up!
They are still disorganized with the live web cams, but
hopefully they can get them working soon.
Every year it is a competition to see if the good people can
protect the goat, or whether the punks can set it on fire.
Millions of people all over the world watch the web cams
hoping to see the punks in time to alert the cops and
fire department.
Once I find a working live web cam, I will post it again,
as usual.
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
British man who was part of a paedophile ring has been
found guilty of plotting to rape a seven-month-old baby.
______________________________________________________
Today, December 3 in
1910 The neon lamp was displayed for the first time at the Paris
Motor Show. The lamp was developed by French physicist Georges
Claude.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for
subtlety.
--- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)
The reason why worry kills more people than work
is that more people worry than work.
--- Robert Frost
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
--- Joseph Stalin (1879 - 1953)
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Martin for returning this classic:
A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters,
he asks St. Peter, 'I have a question that's haunted me all
of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am
I black with white stripes?'
St. Peter said, 'That's a question only God can answer.'
So the zebra went off in search of God.
When he found Him, the zebra asked, 'God, please - I must
know. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with
white stripes?'
God simply replied 'You are what you are.'
The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked
him, 'Well, did God straighten out your query for you?'
The zebra looked puzzled. 'No sir, God simply said 'You are
what you are.''
St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, 'Well then, there
you are. You are white with black stripes.'
The zebra asked St. Peter, 'How do you know that for certain?'
'Because,' said St. Peter, 'If you were black with white stripes,
God would have said, 'You is what you is.''
(.. Caution... If you laugh at this, Al Sharpton & Jesse will be
on yo' ahss)
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dolly for this:
My face in the mirror
Isn't wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn't dirty.
The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely,
And so does my lawn.
I think I might never.....
Put my glasses back on.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most
adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this
makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying,
"I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes
home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says,
"I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20
and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from
work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The
father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say
a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day
when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets
him by saying, "I know the whole truth."
The mailman immediately drops the mail,
opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your father a
big hug."
______________________________________________________
Camo Cat
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Mathew Law, 50
in jail,
Bristol,
Britain
British man who was part of a paedophile ring has been found
guilty of plotting to rape a seven-month-old baby.
Mathew Law, 50, is the eighth person to be convicted as part of
an investigation by the National Crime Agency (NCA), following a
two week trial at Bristol Crown Court. He first came into contact
with the paedophile ring, who communicated using anonymous
software Tor and the dark web, through prominent member
Christopher Knight.
Knight, 38, was jailed for 24 years in 2015 after being convicted
of rape of a child under 13, conspiracy to rape a child under 13,
sexual assault of a child under 13 and possessing indecent images
of children. Law pleaded guilty to conspiring to rape a child
under the age of 13 and has been remanded into custody to be
sentenced at a later date. ‘Mathew Law is the eighth individual
to be jailed since this investigation began in 2014,’ Luke
Phillips from the NCA said.
From: Debbie
Re: Not sent mail returned
Dear Webby,
Here I am again...:o) I just got an email that said
"Your message has encountered delivery problems
to the following recipient(s):
claudio.oliveira@twaron.com.br
Delivery failed
User not known"
I know I can trust you. I don't know who this person is.
I didn't email anyone with that address. Attached are two
files AT00026.dat and AT00029.dat could these be some
kind of a virus or spy ware?
Thank you so much for saving my day so many times!
Debbie
Delete the attached files and then delete that email.
That Brasilian address is just a spoof, to make you curious
enough to click on those attachments.
That email was sent from an infected machine that has your
address in an Outlook Express address book, probably the
machine of a friend or relative of yours.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Cookie for this story:
A Minnesota Department of Highways employee stopped at a
farm and talked with an old farmer.
He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible
new road."
The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field."
The Highways employee said, "Listen mister, I have the authority
of the State of Minnesota to go where I want.
See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm
land."
So the old farmer went over, sat down and picked up his
newpaper.
Later, he heard loud screams and saw the Department of
Highways employee running for the fence and close behind
was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest
full of hornets and the bull was gaining on the Highways
employee at every step.
The old farmer called out, "Show him your card, smartass!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Thanks to Sandie for this story:
Ruth took her car to her mechanic.
She told him 'Every time I
Take any of my friends out in my car,
After a while there is this terrible smell !! .
It never happens when I am driving alone'??
This intrigued the mechanic, so he said,
'OK, lets go for a spin
And see what the problem is.' Off they went.
She drove down a one-way street in the wrong direction
At 70 MPH, swerving,
Hitting the curb on both sides of the street,
Narrowly missed three pedestrians in
Pedestrian crossings,
Ran several red lights,
And just missed a
Policeman on street traffic duty.
Then, they returned to the shop, and she said,
'There it is now...
there's that terrible smell! Can you smell it?'
'Smell it?
Lady, I'm sittin' in it !
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Credit Card Rewards
Don't be fooled by a credit card company's claims that credit
cards can help you save money. Finance charges quickly
erase any benefits that credit cards offer in cash back
incentives unless you pay your credit card off at the end
of each month.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Peter Jackson’s Restored and Colorized WW1 Film is Unlike Anything I’ve Seen
|
___________________________________________________
Mother cat with several kittens are walking
in the park when a handsome Tom cat
walks by and says, "Hi, Honey."
Mother cat says, "Don't you 'Honey' me!
You said we were only fighting!"
___________________________________________________
Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates,
a father asked the boy how much his last date had cost.
The son calculated a minute then replied, "Oh, about $15
or so I think."
"Well," said the Father, "I'm proud of you for finally coming
up with an inexpensive evening."
"To be honest Dad," the son went on, "we'd have spent more,
but that was all the money she had."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
"Vocabulary Building"
404 - Someone who's clueless. From the
World Wide Web error message "404 Not
Found," meaning that the requested document
could not be located. Used as in: "Don't
bother asking him ... he's 404 man."
ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organizational
layers beginning just above the rank and file.
Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are
often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to
the problems they were designed to solve.
ALPHA GEEK: The most knowledgeable,
technically proficient person in an office or
work group.
ASSMOSIS - The process by which some
people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss.
BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group
discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed and who was responsible.
DILBERTED - To be exploited and oppressed
by your boss. Derived from the experiences of
Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character.
"I've been dilberted again. The old man
revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
IDEA HAMSTERS: People who always seem
to have their idea generators running in reverse.
Today December 3 in
1792 The trial of France's King Louis XVI began. He was
eventually put to death for the 33 charges.
1833 Oberlin College in Ohio opened as the first truly
coeducational school of higher education in the United States.
1835 In Rhode Island, the Manufacturer Mutual Fire Insurance
Company issued the first fire insurance policy.
1910 The neon lamp was displayed for the first time at the Paris
Motor Show. The lamp was developed by French physicist Georges
Claude.
1917 The Quebec Bridge opened for traffic after almost 20 years
of planning and construction. The bridge suffered partial
collapses in 1907 (August 29) and 1916 (September 11).
1931 Alka Seltzer was sold for the first time.
1947 The Tennessee Williams play "A Streetcar Named Desire"
opened at Broadway's Ethel Barrymore Theater.
1948 The "Pumpkin Papers" came to public light. The House Un-
American Activities Committee announced that former Communist spy
Whittaker Chambers had produced microfilm of secret documents
hidden inside a pumpkin on his Maryland farm.
1967 In Cape Town, South Africa, a team of surgeons headed by Dr.
Christian Barnard, performed the first human heart transplant on
Louis Washkansky. Washkansky only lived 18 days after that.
1967 The famed luxury train, "20th Century Limited," completed
its final run from New York to Chicago.
1968 The rules committee of Major League Baseball (MLB) announced
that in 1969 the pitcher's mound would be lowered from 15 to 10
inches. This was done in order to "get more batting action."
1973 Pioneer 10 sent back the first close-up images of Jupiter.
The first outer-planetary probe had been launched from Cape
Canaveral, FL, on March 2, 1972.
1983 3-foot-high concrete barriers were installed at two White
House entrances.
1984 In Bhopal, India, more than 2,000 people were killed after a
cloud of poisonous gas escaped from a pesticide plant. The plant
was operated by a Union Carbide subsidiary.
1992 The UN Security Council unanimously approved a U.S.-led
military mission to help starving Somalians.
1992 The Greek tanker "Aegean Sea" ran aground at La Coruna,
Spain and spilled 21.5 million gallons of crude oil.
1993 Britain's Princess Diana announced she would be limiting her
public appearances because she was tired of the media's
intrusions into her life.
1993 Angola's government and its rebel enemies agreed to a cease-
fire in their 18-year war.
1994 Rebel Serbs in Bosnia failed to keep a pledge to release
hundreds of UN peacekeepers.
1995 Former South Korean president Chun Doo-hwan was arrested for
his role in a 1979 coup.
1997 In Ottawa, Canada, more than 120 countries were represented
to sign a treaty prohibiting the use and production of anti-
personnel land mines. The United States, China and Russia did not
sign the treaty.
1997 South Korea received $55 billion from the International
Monetary Fund to bailout its economy.
1999 Tori Murden became the first woman to row across the
Atlantic Ocean alone. It took her 81 days to reach the French
Caribbean island of Guadeloupe from the Canary Islands.
1999 The World Trade Organization (WTO) concluded a four-day
meeting in Seattle, WA, without setting an agenda for a new round
of trade talks. The meeting was met with fierce protests by
various groups who had no clue what the meeting was aboout, but
they caused $2 Billion in damages.
1999 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA)
lost radio contact with the Mars Polar Lander as it entered Mars'
atmosphere. The spacecraft was unmanned.
2010 The Boeing X-37 returned to Earth on successfully after its
first orbital mission. It launched on April 22, 2010.
2018 smiled.
|
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| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 291 )
Sunday, December 2, 2018, 08:45 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, December 2
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Milwaukee woman, 18, facing 2nd DUI charge
after leading deputies on 100 mph chase
______________________________________________________
Today, December 1 in
1961 Cuban leader Fidel Castro declared in a nationally broadcast
speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist and that he was going to
lead Cuba to communism.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning
'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
--- Larry Hardiman
Rules are just helpful guidelines for stupid people who can't
make up their own minds.
--- Seth Hoffman
A good listener is not only popular everywhere,
but after a while he gets to know something.
--- Wilson Mizner
______________________________________________________
Nancy called me as she was driving to an
appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice
that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said, "I know I
had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!"
I replied, "Aren't you talking on it!?"
There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality
of the situation sank in - followed by, "You are NOT going
to tell anybody about this!"
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Connie for this report:
In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling
trumpets and guns. One day his neighbor pays him a visit
and says: "So how is your strange business going?"
"What do you mean strange?"
"Because you sell only trumpets and guns!"
"So?"
"Well, let me put it this way, what do you sell the most,
trumpets or guns?"
"It evens itself out. Each time a customer buys a trumpet,
one of his neighbors buys a gun."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her
idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I
marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must
be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!"
A grandmotherly patron at the next table overheard and
spoke up, "Girl, what you are asking for is a television set!"
______________________________________________________
>From Linda
St. Augustine Lighthouse (Florida
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Marissa Lucero,
18,
Milwaukee,
Wisconsin
Milwaukee woman, 18, facing 2nd DUI charge
after leading deputies on 100 mph chase
The Milwaukee County Sheriff's Office tells FOX6 News an 18-year-
old Milwaukee woman was arrested for her second OWI offense early
Tuesday morning, Nov. 27. Officials say Marissa Lucero led
deputies on a chase reaching speeds of 100 mph.
According to the sheriff's office, just after midnight deputies
tracked a vehicle traveling on I-43 going 71 in a 50 mph zone.
Authorities attempted to stop the vehicle, but it did not stop. A
chase ensued and officials say the fleeing driver reached speeds
in excess of 100 mph and veered through traffic.
After exiting at Capitol Drive, officials say the vehicle struck
a curb and damaged a front tire and axle. It came to a stop on a
median near Messmer High School.
The chase wasn't over. Lucero can be seen making a run for it
just as backup arrives. Law enforcement can be seen giving chase.
Lucero was captured by deputies and arrested.
While leading Lucero back to the squad car, emotions took over.
Lucero can be heard screaming for her mother over and over.
Deputies found a half bottle of vodka on the front passenger
floor of the vehicle she crashed.
Two deputies received minor injuries in the chase.
The sheriff's office says this is Lucero's second OWI offense --
with a previous arrest in May of this year. Lucero was not
allowed to be behind the wheel due to the previous conviction.
According to the sheriff's office, Lucero faces felony charges of
Vehicle Operator Flee/Elude an Officer, 2nd Degree Recklessly
Endangering Safety, and Resisting/Obstructing an Officer-Causing
Soft Tissue Injury. Lucero will also receive a misdemeanor charge
of Operating After Revocation-OWI-related, citations for
speeding, and Refuse to Submit to Intox/Blood.
If convicted on all charges, Lucero faces up to 20 years and nine
months in prison.
Lucero's bail has been set at over $6,000, so that she can afford
to have another dingbat malfunction by the time she goes to
court.
From: George
Re: My own web site
Dear Webby,
You advertise web space from $2.50 up. I can get web space
for free from my ISP, but their support is somewhere in Asia
and anything but helpful. They just deal with complaints and
don't volunteer any useful information. For design they charge
a ridiculous amount that obviously is just intended to totally
discourage that avenue.
I would imagine that the design costs extra even with your
set-up. What would be a reasonable guess for a small business
site?
George
Dear George
That depends entirely on how much information you can provide.
Actual design is cheap, because we are good and fast with it.
However, interrogation to drag the information out of you,
about what you might want on your site, that is $150 / hour.
If you gather the information together and put it into an email,
attach the pictures you want on the site and describe what
you want to accomplish, then the design will be $50.
We will set it up with re-usable blocks like headers, side-menu,
footers, etc. and easy to update content blocks.
For a consistent corporate look and feel you can clone any
page and just use a different content block, and we show you
how to do that.
With our system, the only difficult part is the getting around
to getting started gathering your info.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
The aged patient doddered into the doctor's office with a serious
complaint.
"Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive."
"Come on now GopherBait," the doctor said,
"your sex drives all in your head."
"That's what I mean, you've got to lower it a little."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives
alone. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery,
loses control and crashes into the ditch. The man comes
out and finding the politicians, buries them.
The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the
man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police
officer. "Were they all dead?"
The man answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know
how politicians lie."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Buying Winter Clothes
Now is a great time of year to get good deal on winter
clothing as stores make space for spring apparel. You can
also find deep discounts on ski and snowboarding equipment
in the next couple months.
8
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Wander through the Sicilian village in a cave frozen in time.
|
___________________________________________________
A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in
New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing
rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of lillies.
"Tch Tch!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight.
That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I
can help."
So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked,
"What are you doing, my friend?"
"Fishin', sir."
"Fishin', eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink
with me?"
The old man stood up, put his rod away and followed the
kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of
beer and a fine cigar.
His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old
man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you
catch this morning?"
The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful
smoke ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!"
___________________________________________________
Morris was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the
table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an
article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a
football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and
common knowledge.
He turned to his wife Sherry, with a look of question on his
face. "I'll never understand why the biggest schmucks get the
most attractive wives."
His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!"
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
A Jewish lady goes into a furniture store owned
by a Jewish man. She picks out a lamp she
likes and brings it to the counter. She finds out
the price is $69.95 and says, "Oy, down the
street at Goldstein's these are only $49.95!"
The owner asks why she doesn't buy it from
Goldstein's, and she says because they just
ran out of them.
The owner then says, "Ha! When I'm out of
them, they're only $29.95!"
Today December 2 in
1804 Napoleon was crowned emperor of France at the Cathedral of
Notre Dame in Paris.
1816 The first savings bank in the U.S., the Philadelphia Savings
Fund Society, opened for business.
1823 U.S. President James Monroe outlined his doctrine opposing
European expansion in the Western Hemisphere.
1901 Gillette patented the KC Gillette Razor. It was first razor
to feature a permanent handle and disposable double-edge razor
blades.
1917 During World War I, hostilities were suspended on the
eastern front.
1927 The Ford Motor Company unveiled the Model A automobile. It
was the successor to the Model T.
1939 New York's La Guardia Airport began operations as an
airliner from Chicago landed at 12:01 a.m.
1942 A self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction was demonstrated by
Dr. Enrico Fermi and his staff at the University of Chicago.
1954 The U.S. Senate voted to condemn Sen. Joseph R. McCarthy for
what it called "conduct that tends to bring the Senate into
dishonor and disrepute." The censure was related to McCarthy's
controversial investigation of suspected communists in the U.S.
government, military and civilian society.
1961 Cuban leader Fidel Castro declared in a nationally broadcast
speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist and that he was going to
lead Cuba to communism.
1969 The Boeing 747 jumbo jet got its first public preview as 191
people flew from Seattle, WA, to New York City, NY. Most of the
passengers were reporters and photographers.
1970 The Environmental Protection Agency began operations.
1980 The Central Committee of Poland’s Communist Party announced
major Politburo changes. The changes were aimed at coping with
labor unrest.
1982 Doctors at the University of Utah implanted a permanent
artificial heart in the chest of retired dentist Barney Clark. He
lived 112 days with the device. The operation was the first of
its kind.
1988 Benazir Bhutto was sworn in as prime minister of Pakistan.
1989 V.P. Singh was sworn in as prime minister of India.
1990 Chancellor Hekmut Kohl's coalition won the first free all-
German elections since 1932.
1990 The Midwest section of the U.S. prepared for a massive
earthquake predicted by Iben Browning. The earthquakes did not
occur.
1992 Germany's lower house of parliament voted in favor of the
Maastricht Treaty on European unity.
1993 The space shuttle Endeavor blasted off on a mission to fix
the Hubble Space Telescope.
1994 The U.S. government agreed not to seek a recall of allegedly
fire-prone General Motors pickup trucks. A deal was made with GM
under which the company would spend more than $51 million on
safety and research.
1995 NASA launched a U.S.-European observatory on a $1 billion
dollar mission intended to study the sun.
1997 U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno declined to seek an
independent counsel investigation of telephone fund-raising by
President Clinton and Vice President Gore. She had concluded that
they had not violated election laws.
1998 Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates donated $100 million to
help immunize children in developing countries.
1999 The British government transferred political power over the
province of Northern Ireland to the Northern Ireland Executive.
2001 Enron Corp. filed for Chapter 11 reorganization. The filing
came five days after Dynegy walked away from a $8.4 billion
buyout. It was the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history.
2010 NASA announced the discovery of a new arsenic-based life
form.
2018 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 1920 )
Saturday, December 1, 2018, 10:06 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Thank you, Moe!!!
Today is Saturday, December 1
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Florida Woman Arrested After Gas Attack
At Dollar General
______________________________________________________
Today, December 1 in
1913 Ford Motor Co. began using a new movable assembly line that
ushered in the era of mass production.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Much of the social history of the Western world over the past
three decades has involved replacing what worked with what
sounded good.
--- Thomas Sowell (1930 - )
The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.
--- Voltaire, 1737
There is no kind of dishonesty into which otherwise good people
more easily and frequently fall than that of defrauding the
government.
--- Benjamin Franklin
______________________________________________________
One morning a California highway department crew reaches
their job-site and realizes they have forgotten all their
shovels.
The crew's foreman radios the office and tells his supervisor
the situation.
The supervisor radios back and says, "Don't worry, we'll
send some shovels. just lean on each other until the
shovels arrive."
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A man went on a ski trip and was knocked unconscious by the
chair lift. He called his insurance company from the hospital,
but it refused to cover his injury.
"Why is the injury not covered?" he asked.
"You got hit in the head by a chair lift," the insurance rep
said.
"That makes you an idiot and we consider that a pre-existing
condition."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Shella for this:
A butcher fresh out of trade school in Canada gets a job skinning
and cutting up the kills of local hunters. His first assignment
is a moose.
He cuts the moose up and puts the parts into carefully-marked
bags:
chops, steak, ribs, sirloin, etc, etc. When he finishes, he still
has a pile of unidentifiable parts. He shrugs and puts them all
into one large bag, which he marks
"Moosellaneous."
______________________________________________________
>From Linda
Eagle Tree
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Shanetta Wilson, 37
Dania Beach,
Florida
Florida Woman Arrested After Gas Attack
At Dollar General
A knife-wielding woman threatened to gut a fellow Dollar
General shopper after the victim complained in reference to the
defendant farting loudly while in the checkout line, Florida
police charge.
Shanetta Wilson, 37, got into an argument Sunday evening after a
male customer commented negatively about her passing gas,
according to investigators who responded to the store in Dania
Beach, a city just south of Ft. Lauderdale.
As alleged in a complant affidavit, Wilson removed a small knife
from her purse, opened the weapon, and told the victim she was
going to 'gut' him. When Wilson pulled her hand back as if
preparing to attack, victim John Walker, 55, was in fear that he
was going to be stabbed by the defendant.
Wilson, who lives in Dania Beach, was subsequently arrested on a
felony charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without
intent to kill. She was booked into the Broward County jail,
where she is being held in lieu of $2500 bond.
Pictured above, Wilson has a lengthy rap sheet that includes
convictions for battery; theft; marijuana possession; violating
probation; and possession of cocaine with intent to sell. (2
pages)
From: Frank
Re: Missing Humor Letter
Dear Webby,
Dear Webby,
Was there a humor letter for today Friday Noiv 30 ?
*1@shaw.ca
Frank
Dear Frank
yes, sure. It went out as usual.
When the sniveling ninnies censor your subscription,
you can always read it on-line at
http://webby.com/humor
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on
mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking
specifically about manic depression, she asked,
"How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and
forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then
sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"
A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered,
"He's A basketball coach?"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
I was working at the grocery-store checkout counter,
and a woman and her son came through the line.
The son unloaded the cart. Two eggs in a carton had been
cracked, and half a loaf of bread had been mysteriously
crushed. His mother chided him, remarking that she would
have to make French toast with the injured items.
He looked properly repentant until his mother walked off.
Then he whispered to me, "A friend told me to try the
broken egg/squashed bread routine. That's how he gets
his mom to make French toast for him!"
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Storing Christmas Lights
It is hard to get Christmas lights back in the original
packaging.
A quicker method is to reuse wrapping paper tubes. Attach the
lights to one of the paper tubes and then wrap it around. Tape
both ends and store in a large box with padding.
8
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Hours of beautiful scenes and relaxing music.
|
___________________________________________________
The mother was having a hard time getting her son to go to school
in the morning. "Nobody in school likes me," he complained. "The
teachers don't like me, the kids don't like me, the
superintendent wants to transfer me, the bus drivers hate me, the
school board wants me to drop out, and the custodians have it in
for me. I don't want to go to school."
"But you have to go to school," countered his mother. "You are
healthy, you have a lot to learn, you have something to offer
others, you are a leader. And besides, you are forty-five years
old and you are the principal."
___________________________________________________
A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when
she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of
slowing down, she picked up speed. When she looked back again,
their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90
miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops
following her. Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead.
She screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies' room.
Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out. The three cops were
standing
there waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly,
"I'll bet none of you thought I would make it."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills.
The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.'
He stands up and says, "Before, B-E-P-H-O-R."
The teacher says, "No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell
before?"
Another little boy stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-O-R."
Again the teacher says, "No, that's wrong."
The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?"
Little Johnny stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-R-E."
"Excellent Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?"
Little Johnny says, "That's easy. Two plus two be fore."
Today December 1 in
1835 Hans Christian Andersen published his first book of fairy
tales.
1913 Ford Motor Co. began using a new movable assembly line that
ushered in the era of mass production.
1913 The first drive-in automobile service station opened, in
Pittsburgh, PA.
1919 Lady Astor was sworn in as the first female member of the
British Parliament.
1925 The Locarno Pact finalized the treaties between World War I
protagonists and guaranteed that WWII would start in a decade.
1934 Sergei M. Kirov, a collaborator of Joseph Stalin, was
assassinated at the Leningrad party headquarters.
1941 In the U.S., the Civil Air Patrol was created. In April 1943
the Civil Air Patrol was placed under the jurisdiction of the
Army Air Forces.
1942 In the U.S., nationwide gasoline rationing went into effect.
1943 In Teheran, leaders of the United States, the USSR and the
United Kingdom met to reaffirm the goal set on October 30, 1943.
The previous meeting called for an early establishment of an
international organization to maintain peace and security.
1952 In Denmark, it was announced that the first successful sex-
change operation had been performed.
1955 Rosa Parks, a black seamstress in Montgomery, AL, refused to
give up her seat to a white man. Mrs. Parks was arrested marking
a milestone in the civil rights movement in the U.S.
1959 12 countries, including the U.S. and USSR, signed a treaty
that set aside Antarctica as a scientific preserve, which would
be free from military activity.
1965 An airlift of refugees from Cuba to the United States began.
1969 The U.S. government held its first draft lottery since World
War II.
1984 A remote-controlled Boeing 720 jetliner was deliberately
crashed into California's Mojave Desert to test an anti-flame
fuel additive. The test proved to be disappointing.
1987 Construction began on the Channel Tunnel between the United
Kingdom and France.
1987 NASA announced four companies had been given contracts to
help build a space station. The companies were Boeing Aerospace,
G. E.'s Astro-Space Division, McDonnell Douglas Aeronautics, and
Rocketdyne Division of Rockwell International.
1989 Dissidents in the Philippine military launched an
unsuccessful coup against Corazon Aquino's government.
1989 East Germany's Parliament abolished the Communist Party's
constitutional guarantee of supremacy.
1990 Iraq accepted a U.S. offer to talk about resolving the
Persian Gulf crisis.
1990 British and French workers digging the Channel Tunnel
finally met under the English Channel.
1991 Ukrainians voted overwhelmingly for independence from the
Soviet Union.
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin survived an impeachment
attempt by hard-liners at the opening of the Russian Congress.
1994 The U.S. Senate gave final congressional approval to the
124-nation General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade.
1998 Exxon announced that it was buying Mobil for $73.7 billion
creating the largest company in the world to date.
2013 Amazon.com CEO Jeff Bezos revealed "Amazon Prime Air" on "60
Minutes." The services was planned to use unmanned aerial
vehicles to deliver packages to customers.
2018 smiled.
|
[ view entry ]
| permalink | print article | ( 3 / 269 )
Friday, November 30, 2018, 11:22 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Thank you, Moe!!!
Today is Friday, November 30
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Florida Woman Battered Man Over Rejection
______________________________________________________
Today, November 30 in
1939 The Russo-Finnish War began when 20 divisions of Soviet
troops invaded Finland. Finland asked Germany for help. At the
end of WWII, after the Germans had lost hundreds of thousands of
troops and untold supplies, Finland changed sides to be on the
winning side of WWII when it ended.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Most people have seen worse things in private than they
pretend to be shocked at in public.
--- Edgar Watson Howe (1853 - 1937)
The wages of sin are death,
but by the time taxes are taken out,
it's just sort of a tired feeling.
--- Paula Poundstone
______________________________________________________
In my job with a delivery company, I was getting phone
directions to a customer's home. The woman very specifically
said, "From the main road in the center of town go two
lights. Look for the post office. Turn left onto the next
street. Go 1.3 miles. Drive past one red hydrant and then
take the next right. Go 50 yards. My driveway is the second
on the right, and the number is on the mailbox."
As I entered the information into the computer, I asked,
"What color is your house?"
The woman paused a second and said, "Hold on. I'll go check."
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Not quite grasping the sanctity of "Monday Night Football,"
I plunked myself next to my new husband one Monday night to
chat. He was distracted by the action on TV, and after being
shushed a few times, I gave him a "look."
Immediately contrite, he picked up the remote. "I'm sorry,
honey," he apologized, "I'm being rude. You go ahead and
talk--I'll just turn up the volume."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in
front of me had a large order. As the harried-looking clerk
lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending
the contents crashing to the floor. "They just don't make
these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the
customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!"
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Rebecca Lynn Phelps, 31
Tampa
Florida
Florida Woman Battered Man Over Rejection
A Florida Woman battered her boyfriend after he “said no and went
back to bed” after she “grabbed his genitals wanting to have sex”
on Thanksgiving night, cops say.
Rebecca Lynn Phelps, 31, was arrested for domestic battery
following a confrontation in the Tampa-area home she shares with
the victim and the couple’s child.
Phelps’s arrest was the second time in 14 months that she was
busted for allegedly battering a man who did not want to have sex
with her, records show.
Investigators allege that the victim, 25, was sleeping late
Thursday night when Phelps entered their bedroom seeking to have
sex. After Phelps groped her partner’s private parts, the “victim
said no and went back to sleep,” according to a criminal
complaint.
Phelps subsequently returned to the bedroom and started “tapping”
the man’s leg. “The victim pretended to be asleep to ignore the
defendant who was intoxicated,” cops noted.
Phelps then allegedly “scratched the victim on his left eye
causing it to swell and turn black and blue.” Phelps, who told
cops she did not touch the victim, was arrested on a misdemeanor
domestic battery charge. She was released yesterday morning from
the county jail after posting $100 bond.
A judge has ordered Phelps to have no contact with the victim.
In September 2017, Phelps was arrested after allegedly getting
mad at a man “because he did not want to have sexual relations
with her.” Phelps screamed at the victim and smacked him “so hard
on the right side of his face it left redness on his face.” She
also allegedly scratched the man’s arm, causing it to bleed.
Prosecutors subsequently declined to pursue the case against
Phelps. It is unclear whether the victim in the 2017 matter is
the same man in the current
From: Louis
Re: How to recognize a scam
Dear Webby,
How do you recognize if something is a silly scam or if it is
real ?
Louis
Dear Louis
If there is a line that says:
"Pass this on to all your friends."
then it is a silly scam.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Astrological "Afterwards" Comments
Aries: "Okay, let's do it again!"
Taurus: "I'm hungry -- do you want some pizza?"
Gemini: "Have you seen the remote?"
Cancer: "When are we getting married?"
Leo: "Wasn't I fantastic?"
Virgo: "I need to wash the sheets."
Libra: "I liked it if you liked it."
Scorpio: "Perhaps I should untie you."
Sagittarius: "Don't call me -- I'll call you."
Capricorn: "Do you have a business card?"
Aquarius: "Now let's try it with our clothes off!"
Pisces: "What did you say your name was again?"
Btw., I am a Taurus
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
At the Checkout counter of the discount department store where
I was a cashier, customers frequently asked me under what
circumstances items were returnable. One woman who came through
my line must have been aware of store policy. She pointed to the
lacy red-and-black negligee she was about to purchase. "May I
bring this back if it doesn't work?" she asked.
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Apply for Financial Aid Early
Apply for financial aid as early as possible. The amount
of aid you get is based on your need level, fund availability,
and the date your application process is completed.
File your financial aid application as soon as you file
your taxes.
8
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Carnival celebrations from around the world!
|
___________________________________________________
A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled
upstairs to his wife, "Honey, are you ready yet?"
Shouting back, the woman replies,
"For crying out loud, Ed, I've been telling you for the last
half hour...I'll be ready in a minute!"
___________________________________________________
A Priest at a Church picnic was staring at a member of his
parish wearing the tiniest of bikinis. A Nun walked over and
said, "Shame on you Father, staring at that woman like that!"
The Priest replied, "Sister Mary Elizabeth, I know you to be on
a diet, and yet I saw you ogling the buffet."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
>From Lisa
While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in
her new bundle of joy. She also had her seven-year-old son
with her.
Everyone gathered around the baby, and the little boy asked,
"Mommy, can I have some money to buy a soda?"
"What do you say?" she asked.
Respectfully, the boy replied, "You're thin and beautiful."
The woman reached in her purse and gave her son the money.
Today November 30 in
1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an army
of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva. King Charles
XII died on this day.
1782 The United States and Britain signed preliminary peace
articles in Paris, ending the Revolutionary War.
1803 Spain completed the process of ceding Louisiana to France.
1838 Three days after the French occupation of Vera Cruz Mexico
declared war on France.
1853 During the Crimean War, the Russian fleet attacked and
destroyed the Turkish fleet at the battle of Sinope.
1858 John Landis Mason received a patent for the first pepper
shaker with a screw-on cap.
1875 A.J. Ehrichson patented the oat-crushing machine.
1897 Thomas Edison's own motion picture projector had its first
commercial exhibition.
1906 George Parker Bidder, President of the Marine Biological
Association (UK) released a glass bottle with a message into the
North Sea. The bottle spent 108 years and 38 days at sea before
it was found on the shores of Germany in 2015.
1936 London's famed Crystal Palace was destroyed in a fire. The
structure had been constructed for the International Exhibition
of 1851.
1939 The Russo-Finnish War began when 20 divisions of Soviet
troops invaded Finland. Finland asked Germany for help. At the
end of WWII, after the Germans had lost hundreds of thousands of
troops and untold supplies, Finland changed sides to be on the
winning side of WWII.
1949 Chinese Communists captured Chungking.
1954 In Sylacauga, AL, Elizabeth Hodges was injured when a
meteorite crashed through the roof of her house. The rock weighed
8˝-pounds.
1956 CBS replayed the program "Douglas Edward and the News" three
hours after it was received on the West Coast. It was the world's
first broadcast via videotape.
1962 U Thant of Burma was elected secretary-general of the United
Nations, succeeding the late Dag Hammarskjold.
1966 The former British colony of Barbados became independent.
1981 The U.S. and the Soviet Union opened negotiations in Geneva
that were aimed at reducing nuclear weapons in Europe.
1986 "Time" magazine published an interview with U.S. President
Reagan. In the article, Reagan described fired national security
staffer Oliver North as a "national hero."
1988 Kohlberg Kravis Roberts and Co. took over RJR Nabisco Inc.
with a bid of $24.53 billion.
1989 PLO leader Yasser Arafat was refused a visa to enter the
United States in order to address the U.N. General Assebly in New
York City.
1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the Brady Bill. The
bill required a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases and
background checks of prospective buyers.
1995 President Clinton became the first U.S. chief executive to
visit Northern Ireland.
1998 The Deutsche Bank AG announced that it would acquire Bankers
Trust Corp. for $10.1 billion creating the world's largest
financial institution.
2001 For the first time in it's history, McDonald's teamed up
with a retail partner on its Happy Meal promotions. Toys R Us
provided plush figures from it's Animal Alley.
2004 In Stockholm, Sweden, the Carl Larsson painting "Boenskoerd"
("Bean Harvest") was sold at auction for $730,000. The work had
been in a private collection for more than a century. The Larsson
work "Vid Kattegatt" ("By Kattegatt") sold for $640,000 at the
same auction.
2018 smiled.
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Thursday, November 29, 2018, 07:56 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, November 29
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Florida gamer left microphone on
during sex assault
______________________________________________________
Today, November 29 in
1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S. with
Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth twice before
landing off Puerto Rico.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to
swear that only the other one snores.
--- Terry Pratchett
Every person takes the limits of their own field of vision
for the limits of the world.
--- Arthur Schopenhauer
And God said:
'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me.
And let there be lawyers,
so people don't blame everything on Satan."
--- George Burns
______________________________________________________
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the
zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials
put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning,
just roaming around the zoo.
A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he got out.
When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the
next enclosure asked the kangaroo,
"How high do you think they'll go?"
The kangaroo said, "About a hundred and fifty feet,
unless somebody starts locking the gate at night."
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A famous art collector is walking through the city
when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a
saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a
double take. He recognizes that the saucer is
extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually
into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars.
The store owner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for
sale."
The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat
around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty
dollars for that cat."
And the owner says, "Sold," and hands over the cat.
The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I
wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The
cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a
dish."
And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky
saucer. So far this week, I've sold sixty-eight stray
cats."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
My client Anita and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant.
When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Anita
made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her
own pair.
"As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve
of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils."
The waiter inspected her chopsticks.
"Velly bootiful," he said politely. "Ivoly flom lasst highland
ellefant!"
______________________________________________________
The bait works!
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Daniel Enrique Fabian, 18,
New Port Richey
Florida
Florida gamer left microphone on
during sex assault
Another PlayStation gamer overheard the attack.
A Florida teen took a break from his game of Grand Theft Auto to
rape an underage girl, police say. Daniel Enrique Fabian, 18,
allegedly told another player on an online multiplayer network
that he was leaving the game for a few minutes to "smash" the 15-
year-old girl, the Miami Herald reports. The other player told
police that Fabian left his microphone on and he overheard the
entire attack, with the distressed girl yelling "No." It's not
clear whether the other gamer on the PlayStation network was the
one who reported Fabian to police, WFLA reports. The other gamer
says Fabian returned to the game after about 15 minutes.
Fabian, a New Port Richey resident, was arrested last week and
charged with lewd and lascivious battery on a victim between the
age of 12 and 15. Police say that during the attack overheard by
the other gamers, he covered the girl's mouth and held her down
as she repeatedly tried to get away. Police say DNA from the
victim linked Fabian to the rape. The Pasco County Sheriff's
Office says Fabian, who is being held on $30,000 bond, was
arrested in June for allegedly raping another 15-year-old girl at
his home.
From: Kenneth
Re: Best Back-Up
Dear Webby,
I know you once wrote about what the best method is to back up
your hard drive. Unfortunately at that time I didn't have
anything
worth backing up and did not pay attention. Sorry 'bout that!
I'm sure there are others with the same predicament. Can you
please tell us again?
Thanks
Kenneth
Dear Kenneth
The fastest, and worst, method is to back up onto a different
drive in the same machine. A fire or a burglary will make you
wonder why you backed up your important business data.
The best method is to back up to somewhere else. I back up
onto the web.
You can even back up onto DropBox.
Second best is to back up onto a portable USB drive. You can
get 2 TB portable drives now about the size of a package of
cigarettes. They easily fit into a pocket or purse. You can also
get cases for them and just stuff a drive into them yourself.
You can also encrypt the data on the back-up drive.
With that method you simply take that portable drive with
you and throw it into the glove box of your car or keep it in a
pocket or purse. No matter what happens to the office or the
computer, your business is still safe and ready to be restored
onto a replacement machine.
CD's work too, but that is a relatively slow and cumbersome
method and therefore usually does not get done.
You have to chose a strategy that is simple enough and easy
enough. Only then will it get done regularly and become a
good habit.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Ann for this one:
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I
got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and
start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class
for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and
down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I
got my leotards on, the class was over.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
As in many homes my wife and I faced the annual conflict
of which was more important - the football games on television,
or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest
of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner
conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the
game.
Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and
graciously even bought a cold beer for me with her. She
smiled, kissed me on the cheek and asked what the
score was. I told her it was the end of the third quarter
and that the score was still nothing to nothing.
"See?" she said, continuing to smile,
"You didn't miss a thing."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Late Buying Christmas and Other Gifts
After Christmas is also a good time to buy gifts. Any item
such as gift sets or baking equipment can be gifted
the following year or during the year as birthday
presents. Just remember that just because it
doesn't cost much doesn't mean it's a good deal.
Some of the things leftover are leftover because
they weren't salable at regular price so pick carefully.
8
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
This young boy is so talented, way above other people his age!
|
___________________________________________________
German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered
small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a
long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000
years ago had a nation-wide telephone network.
Naturally, the British government was not that easily
impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even
deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass and
they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago
already had a nationwide fiber network.
Irish scientists were outraged. They dug 200 meters
underground, but found absolutely nothing. They concluded
that the ancient Irish 55,000 years ago obviously must have
used cellphones.
___________________________________________________
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping.
It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm . . . that's
funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now
there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I
found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a
reward."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Thanks to Al for this:
The other night, my wife and I were going out. She sat there
and put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes,
mascara, toner, blush and lipstick, then turned to me and
said, "Does this look natural?"
Today November 29 in
1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a militia
led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 400 peaceful
Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had surrendered and had been
given permission to camp after giving up their weapons.
1890 Navy defeated Army by a score of 24-0 in the first Army-Navy
football game. The game was played at West Point, NY.
1892 A patent was issued to Almon Brown Strowger for the rotary
dial.
1929 The first airplane flight over the South Pole was made by
U.S. Navy Lt. Comdr. Richard E. Byrd.
1939 The USSR broke off diplomatic relations with Finland prior
to a Soviet attack.
1945 The monarchy was abolished in Yugoslavia and a republic
proclaimed.
1947 The U.N. General Assembly passed a resolution that called
for the division of Palestine between Arabs and Jews.
1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S. with
Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth twice before
landing off Puerto Rico.
1963 A Trans-Canada Airlines DC-8F with 111 passengers and 7 crew
members crashed in woods north of Montreal 4 minutes after
takeoff from Dorval Airport. All aboard were killed. The crash
was the worst in Canada's history.
1974 In Britain, a bill that outlawed the Irish Republican Army
became effective.
1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company he and
Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer language for
the Altair.
1982 The U.N. General Assembly voted that the Soviet Union should
withdraw its troops from Afghanistan.
1987 A Korean jetliner disappeared off Burma, with 115 people
aboard.
1987 Cuban detainees released 26 hostages they'd been holding for
more than a week at the Federal Detention Center in Oakdale, LA.
1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the rights of criminal
defendants are not violated when police unintentionally fail to
preserve potentially vital evidence.
1989 In Czechoslovakia, the Communist-run parliament ended the
party's 40-year monopoly on power.
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to authorize military action
if Iraq did not withdraw its troops from Kuwait and release all
foreign hostages by January 15, 1991.
1991 17 people were killed in a 164-vehicle wreck during a dust
storm near Coalinga, CA, on Interstate 5.
1994 Fighter jets attacked the capital of Chechnya and its
airport only hours after Russian President Boris Yeltsin demanded
the breakaway republic end its civil war.
1996 A U.N. court sentenced Bosnian Serb army soldier Drazen
Erdemovic to 10 years in prison for his role in the massacre of
1,200 Muslims. The sentence was the first international war
crimes sentence since World War II.
1998 Swiss voters overwhelmingly rejected legalizing heroin and
other narcotics.
2004 The French government announced plans to build the Louvre II
in northern France. The 236,808 square foot museum was the
planned home for 500-600 works from the Louvre's reserves.
2008 In China, construction on the Shanghai Tower began.
2018 smiled.
|
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Wednesday, November 28, 2018, 10:11 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, November 28
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Florida man stabs woman over
undercooked potato
______________________________________________________
Today, November 28 in
1963 U.S. President Johnson announced that Cape Canaveral would
be renamed Cape Kennedy in honor of his assassinated predecessor.
The name was changed back to Cape Canaveral in 1973 by a vote of
residents.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
--- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)
Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies
will not believe you anyway.
--- Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)
______________________________________________________
Late one night in the capitol city a mugger wearing
a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed
man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your
money," he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied,
"You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!"
"In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!"
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Sue for this story:
After being laid off, I papered the town with my resume. Days
passed, and I hadn't received a single phone call. I decided to
take a closer look at the copies my husband had printed at his
real estate office.
I quickly realized that he hadn't put blank paper into the
machine.
At the bottom of each copy, written in bold type, was a common
real estate disclaimer: "The information contained herein, while
deemed to be accurate, is not guaranteed."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
The following ads appeared in a newspaper over a period of four
days, the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's
mistake.
MONDAY: For sale: R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for
sale. Phone 555-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who
lives with him cheap.
TUESDAY Notice: We regret having erred In R.D. Jones' ad
yesterday. It should have read, "One sewing machine for sale
cheap. Phone 555- 0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who lives with
him after 7 P.M."
WEDNESDAY Notice: R.D. Jones has informed us that he has
received several annoying telephone calls because of the error
we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct
as follows: "For sale - - R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for
sale. Cheap. Phone 555-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs.
Kelly who loves with him."
THURSDAY Notice: I, R.D. Jones, have no sewing machine for
sale. I smashed it. Don't call 555-0707 as I have had the phone
disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until
yesterday she was my housekeeper, but she quit.
______________________________________________________
Awww, Shut Up!!
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Kenneth Crumpton, 36,
Yulee,
Florida
Florida man stabs woman over
undercooked potato
Facebook
A Yulee man was jailed in Nassau County after he reportedly
stabbed a woman over an undercooked potato, deputies said.
Kenneth Crumpton, 36, is charged with aggravated battery with a
deadly weapon after he reportedly used a fork to stab a woman in
the head, a Nassau County Sheriff's Office report said.
The victim told a witness that she was stabbed in the head with a
fork. Crumpton denied stabbing the victim and said that he threw
the fork and it "glanced off her head," the arrest report said,
The victim had multiple stab wounds and visible blood on her
head, deputies said. She refused treatment, the report said.
From:Karl
Re: PUSH Mail
Dear Webby
what exactly is "Push Mail"? I got one
of those smart phones and one of the reviews said it
was a "Push Mailer's dream".
Hope you get those votes and Happy New Year!
Karl
Dear Karl
Traditional mail is "Pull". It patiently waits on the server,
until you pull it down into your computer.
Push mail is like cell phone calls, it is pushed at you
at your most inconvenient time, for example when you are
in the shower, or talking to somebody. I'll pass on that.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
The District Judge in our county is a no-nonsense woman who has
never left any doubt as to her professionalism. What those of us
who work in the court didn't know was whether she had a sense of
humor. The matter was put to rest the morning an older woman was
testifying before the judge. Several times during the
proceedings
the woman addressed the judge as "Honey."
Finally the judge looked the woman in the eye and said,
"That's Judge Honey."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
"Did your wife have much to say when you got home last
night?"
"No, but that didn't keep her from yelling for two hours."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Buy Christmas Items
Right after Christmas is a great time to buy Christmas
decorations, wrapping paper and cards at clearance prices.
Only buy items you know you will use and put them in a clearly
marked box. Candy and chocolate is also on sale, you can
freeze for baking.
8
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
536 Was a Garbage Year for Mankind (So Give 2018 a Break)
|
___________________________________________________
Q: How do I make my wife stop buying all these expensive
gloves?
A: Buy her a diamond ring.
___________________________________________________
People made the following calls this year to the British RSPCA
(Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals):
· A woman claiming that the "Beast of Bodmin Moor" was
outside her door and laying siege to her house. The "beast"
turned out to be her new telephone books in a black plastic bag.
· A person who reported a black swan trapped on a building
roof that ended up being a black plastic bag flapping in the
wind.
· A person who called to report an injured magpie on their
driveway which ended up being a black and white Nike sneaker.
· The many people calling to report birds trapped within their
walls and fireplaces that turn out to be the "chirping" of their
smoke alarms warning of low batteries.
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over
the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on College
Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."
Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:
"Plowing has been completed. The six hundred and twentseven
students who went to move 26 cars can return to class now."
Today November 28 in
1520 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific
Ocean after passing through the South American strait. The strait
was named after him. He was the first European to sail the
Pacific from the east.
1582 William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway were married.
1757 English poet, painter and engraver William Blake was born.
Two of his best known works are "Songs of Innocence" and "Songs
of Experience."
1919 American-born Lady Astor was elected the first female member
of the British Parliament.
1922 Capt. Cyril Turner of the Royal Air Force gave the first
public exhibition of skywriting. He spelled out, "Hello USA. Call
Vanderbilt 7200" over New York's Times Square.
1925 The Grand Ole Opry made its radio debut on station WSM.
1942 In Boston, MA, 491 people died in a fire that destroyed the
Coconut Grove.
1943 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt, British Prime Minister
Winston Churchill and Soviet Leader Joseph Stalin met in Tehran
to map out strategy concerning World War II.
1953 New York City began 11 days without newspapers due to a
strike of photoengravers.
1958 The African nation of Chad became an autonomous republic
within the French community.
1963 U.S. President Johnson announced that Cape Canaveral would
be renamed Cape Kennedy in honor of his assassinated predecessor.
The name was changed back to Cape Canaveral in 1973 by a vote of
residents.
1964 The U.S. launched the space probe Mariner IV from Cape
Canaveral on a course set for Mars.
1978 The Iranian government banned religious marches.
1979 An Air New Zealand DC-10 flying to the South Pole crashed in
Antarctica killing all 257 people aboard.
1983 The space shuttle Columbia took off with the STS-9 Spacelab
in its cargo bay.
1985 The Irish Senate approved the Anglo-Irish accord concerning
Northern Ireland.
1987 A South African Airways Boeing 747 crashed into the Indian
Ocean. All 159 people aboard were killed.
1989 Romanian gymnast Nadia Comaneci arrived in New York after
escaping her homeland through Hungary.
1990 Margaret Thatcher resigned as prime minister of Britain.
1992 In Bosnia-Herzegovina, 137 tons of food and supplies were to
be delivered to the isolated town of Srebrenica.
1992 In King William's Town, South Africa, black militant gunmen
attacked a country club killing four people and injuring 20.
1994 Jeffrey Dahmer, a convicted serial killer, was clubbed to
death in a Wisconsin prison by a fellow inmate.
1994 Norwegian voters rejected European Union membership.
1995 U.S. President Clinton signed a $6 billion road bill that
ended the federal 55 mph speed limit.
2010 WikiLeaks released to the public more than 250,000 U.S.
diplomatic cables. About 100,000 were marked "secret" or
"confidential."
2018 smiled.
|
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SBC- Global mail downtime Tuesday, November 27, 2018, 09:19 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, November 27
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Principal accused of raping
12-year-old student found dead
______________________________________________________
Today, November 27 in
1701 Anders Celsius was born in Sweden. He was the inventor
of the Celsius (Metric) thermometer.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not
know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.'
--- Theodore Roosevelt
Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea
with a two-hour vocabulary.
--- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do
it in the streets and frighten the horses.
--- Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885)
There's no point in being grown up
if you can't be childish sometimes.
--- Doctor Who
______________________________________________________
Judi had just returned to the United States from a month-long
trip to Europe. She'd been to England, France, Spain, Italy,
Germany, and Switzerland. John met her at the airline
gate, hugged her, and asked, "So, how was your trip?"
"Oh, it was terrible," she replied, "the whole place is just full
of foreigners."
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
FOOTBALL PLAYERS at the high school where I worked were
stealing the practice jerseys, so the coach ordered a set with
"Property of Central High School" emblazoned on them. When the
thefts continued, he ordered a new batch that had the imprint
"Stolen from Central High School." But the jerseys still kept
disappearing. The larceny finally stopped after he changed the
wording to "Central High School 4th String."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest
son had an announcement to make: He'd just signed up at an army
recruiter's office. There were audible gasps around the table,
then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief
that he could handle this new situation.
"Oh, come on, quit pulling our legs," snickered one. "You
didn't really do that, did you?"
"I'm positive you'd never get through basic training," scoffed
another. The new recruit looked to his mother for help; but she
was just gazing at him.
When she finally spoke, it was to voice a single question. "Do
you really plan to make your own bed every morning?"
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Richard Omar Knight, 35,
Mebane, Orange County,
North Carolina
Principal accused of raping
12-year-old student found dead
A North Carolina charter school principal accused of raping a 12-
year-old student on campus was found dead of an apparent self-
inflicted injury, The News & Observer reported, citing a police
report.
Authorities in Orange County found Richard Omar Knight, 35, in a
wooded area near Mebane on Friday, WRAL reported. Two hunters
found his body and called 911, the Orange County Sheriff's Office
said in a news release. Police said no foul play was suspected,
the television station reported.
Knight, 35, was the principal at Dillard Academy until he was
charged Friday with raping a 12-year-old student on campus.
Goldsboro police announced Knight's death Monday afternoon, but
said the investigation into his alleged crimes would continue,
WRAL reported.
Goldsboro police learned of the student's allegations Thursday
and obtained a warrant Friday, charging Knight with statutory
rape, a sex act and indecent liberties with a female at Dillard
Academy Charter School, The News & Observer reported. Knight, of
Smithfield, was principal of the charter school.
From:Jerry
Re: SBCglobal downtime
Dear Webby
Just a curiosity question. Denise has SBCglobal.net email
and it had been down the last few Christmases. I was guessing
overload due to so many Holiday e-cards being delivered/read,
etc. Her email is back up right now (her work address never went
down). Just wondering if my guess could have been correct,
or if it might have been some other problem.
Thanks
Jerry
Dear Jerry
SBCglobal is part of Yahoo.
Their UNreliability is quite predictable.
Yes, of course their mail went down every Christmas,
and Valentines and Mothers Day.
If she wants reliable email, she should get a gmail address.
Gmail is free, and has become the most popular email system in
the world.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
The census taker knocked on Donna's door. She answered all
his questions except one. She refused to tell him her age.
"But everyone tells their age to the census taker,"
he said.
"Did Miss Maisy Hill, and Miss Daisy Hill tell you their ages?"
she asked.
"Certainly," he replied "Well, I'm the same age as they are," she
snapped.
"As old as the Hills," he intoned as he wrote on his form.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
A woman's husband dies and she has only $20,000 to her name.
After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she
tells her closest friend that she has no money left. The friend
says, "How can that be? You told me you still had $20,000 left
just a few days before your husband died.
How could you be broke?"
The widow says, "Well, the funeral home cost me $5,000. And of
course, I had to make the obligatory donation to the temple, so
that was another $5,000. The rest went for the memorial stone."
The friend says, "$10,000 for the memorial stone? My goodness,
how big was it?"
Extending her left hand, the widow says, "Three carats."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Returning Items
If you plan on returning an item that you received as a gift
but don't have a receipt, you will want to do it within a
week or so of Christmas. Most stores are much more relaxed
about returns immediately after Christmas.
8
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
The best of People are Awesome! I can tell these people don't spend their time on social media.
|
___________________________________________________
A Congressman is awakened in the middle of the
night by his wife who whispers, "I think there's
a thief in the house."
"Not in the House," her husband says. "In the Senate,
for sure, my dear, but not in the House."
___________________________________________________
Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was
engrossed in a magazine.
Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
"Listen to this," she said.
"There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to
swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."
"Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine.
Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season
ticket?"
"Absolutely not," he said.
"How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not."
"Season's more than half over," he said.
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
A family had moved to Seattle from Texas, and each of them
missed their old home. That December, when they went to
pick up their first-grade son from school, his teacher told
them about a conversation she overheard.
One boy said, "We're Catholic, and we are going to
Christmas Mass."
"Were Jewish," said another child. "And we're going to have
a Hanukkah celebration."
Madison chimed in, "We're Texans, and were going to have a
barbecue."
Today November 27 in
1701 Anders Celsius was born in Sweden. He was the inventor of
the Celsius (Metric) thermometer.
1779 The College of Pennsylvania became the University of
Pennsylvania. It was the first legally recognized university in
America.
1889 Curtis P. Brady was issued the first permit to drive an
automobile through Central Park in New York City.
1901 The Army War College was established in Washington, DC.
1910 New York's Pennsylvania Station opened.
1934 The U.S. bank robber George "Baby Face" Nelson was killed by
FBI agents near Barrington, IL.
1963 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson delivered his first address
to a joint session of Congress.
1970 Pope Paul VI, visiting the Philippines, was attacked at the
Manila airport by a Bolivian painter disguised as a priest.
1973 The U.S. Senate voted to confirm Gerald R. Ford as vice
president after the resignation of Spiro T. Agnew.
1978 San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and City Supervisor
Harvey Milk, a gay-rights activist, were shot to death inside
City Hall by Dan White, a former supervisor.
1983 183 people were killed when a Colombian Avianca Airlines
Boeing 747 crashed near Barajas airport in Madrid.
1985 The British House of Commons approved the Anglo-Irish accord
giving Dublin a consulting role in the governing of British-ruled
Northern Ireland.
1987 French hostages Jean-Louis Normandin and Roger Auque were
set free by their pro-Iranian captors in West Beirut, Lebanon.
1989 107 people were killed when a bomb destroyed a Colombian
jetliner minutes after the plane had taken off from Bogota's
international airport. Police blamed the incident on drug
traffickers.
1991 The UN Security Council unanimously adopted a resolution
that led the way for the establishment of a UN peacekeeping
operation in Yugoslavia.
1992 In Venezuela, rebel forces tried but failed to overthrow
President Carlos Andres Perez for the second time in ten months.
2008 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) was taken out of
service after more than 30 years. The ship was launched on
September 20, 1967.
2018 smiled.
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Monday, November 26, 2018, 08:22 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, November 26
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Floriduh girl, 2, ‘screamed and cried while
being raped by dad for dark web video’
______________________________________________________
Today, November 26 in
1950 China entered the Korean conflict forcing UN forces
to retreat.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice
to believe.
--- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988)
Political correctness is the coward's substitute for integrity.
--- Socratex
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Sandie for this story:
After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they promised
they would take care of it, mom, as usual, ended up with
the responsibility.
One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many
times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't
looked after it?"
After a moment, her five-year-old son replied quizzically,
"Uh, once?"
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dave for this story:
Our family owned restaurant is the setting for many of our
discussions about how to handle the customer who asks,
"What's good tonight?"
Obviously, we would never serve anything we didn't think
was good. I braced myself one Saturday night when I
heard the dreaded question posed to my husband.
He calmly replied, "Anything over $13.95."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid
tongue, explodes one day in mid session and begins to shout,
"Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt
politicians!"
All the other Senators plead to the angry member that he
withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder
of the session.
After a long pause, the angry member accepted and said, "Okay,
I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of
cowards and corrupt politicians!"
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
James Lockhart, 30,
Manatee County,
Floriduh
Floriduh girl, 2, ‘screamed and cried while
being raped by dad for dark web video’
A two year-old girl ‘screamed and cried’ while being raped by her
father in an eight minute video he uploaded to the dark web,
police say. Horrifying details of the abuse the toddler allegedly
suffered at the hands of her father James Lockhart were outlined
as it was revealed he faces the death penalty if convicted of the
abuse. A criminal complaint seen by WFLA explained: ‘The video
documents the rape.
‘The toddler continues to scream and cry.’ According to the Miami
Herald, Lockhart, 30, also made posts on securely encrypted web
pages detailing his sexual experiences with a young girl and boy,
while asking for suggestions of things he could do and promising
future updates.
Homeland Security officers traced Lockhart to his home through
instant messaging service Kik on October 5. They showed the
alleged pedophile’s wife clips with the little girl’s face
blurred out. She is said to have instantly recognized her
daughter, her husband’s hand, their couch and the girl’s stuffed
animal toy, an indictment claims.
Further analysis proved that the hand in the video matched
Lockhart’s, with handwriting analysis further showing that the
father’s script matched a handwritten sign seen on-screen. The
girl alleged to have been abused and her twin brother were taken
into custody on the day of their father’s arrest. An indictment
seen by the Herald explained that Lockhart was initially
investigated by Boston-based agents trying to track down the
people behind child abuse clips. The suspect is said to have
made other postings under the name HardWood. Manatee County
Sheriff’s Office say Lockhart is facing numerous charges,
including capital sexual battery – meaning he could be put to
death if convicted.
From:Nita
Re: Directdbnotifywndproc
Dear Webby
Everytime I go on line my computer is busy with the following
"Directdbnotifywndproc". This runs for over an hour. Do you
know what this is & how to remove it? Computer is a new
Dell with XP Home.
Thank you kindly, Happy New Year,
Nita
Dear Nita
That problem is normal with computers that have Outlook
Depressed and Computer Associates spyware loaded.
>From what I read, that problem goes away when the user
outgrows either of those two programs. Until you do, keep
your mail backed up far away from Outlook Depressed.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
After the Great Britain Beer Festival in London, all the
brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy
from Corona sat down at the bar and said to the bartender,
"Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona."
The bartender dusted off a bottle from the shelf and gave
it to him.
The head of Budweiser said, "I'd like the best beer in
the world. Give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser."
The bartender gave him one.
The Coors chief said, "I'd like the only beer made with
Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors."
The bartender got it.
The Guinness man sat down and said, "Give me a Coke."
The bartender was a little taken aback, but gave it to him.
The other brewery presidents looked at him and asked,
"Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?"
The Guinness president replied, "Well, I figured
if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The right side of a boat was called the starboard side due to
the fact that the astro-navigators used to stand out on a plank
(which was on the right side) to get an unobstructed view of
the stars. The left side was called the port side, because that
was the side that they put toward the dock when they pulled
into port. This was so they didn't knock off the starboard.
Actually, it goes back a lot further than that.
In the days before personal firearms, ships had a stair going
upstairs to where the captain and the officers were. That stair
was always on the right side.
Access to the stair was through a tunnel from the port side,
forcing any pirates or enemies to attack in single file before
getting to the stair.
Later, when they got canons, those were always on the port side,
never on the stair side. The powder was usually stored downstairs
on the stair side, because a shot into the powder magazine
usually sunk the ship.
Good old days!
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Buying Big Ticket Items
The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife
with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you
do this!" he exclaimed.
"I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking
at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the
Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress.
You should buy it.'"
"Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him!
Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!"
"I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It looks great from
back here, too!"
8
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Astronomy Picture of the Day
|
___________________________________________________
A protestor said to his girlfriend, "I'm on my way to pick
up my unemployment check. Then I've got to go to the
university to see what's holding up this month's Federal
Education Grant. Meanwhile you can go over to the Free
Clinic and check up on your tests. And right after I
stop by the Welfare Department to see if they will up
our eligibility limit again I'll meet you at the Federal
Building for the demonstration against this rotten,
oppressive Republican establishment....!"
___________________________________________________
A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on
'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid.
"This", he explained, "is urine.
To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color,
smell, sight, and taste."
After saying this, he dipped a finger into the jar and put
it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement,
most, in disgust. But being the good students that they
were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped
one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth.
After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head.
"If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed
that I put my 2nd finger in to the jar and my 3rd finger into
my mouth."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
At the airport for a trip, I settled down to wait for the
boarding announcement at Gate B35.
Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying,
"We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570
will board from Gate E41."
So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to
Gate E41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told
us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate B35.
So again we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to
the original gate.
Just as we were settling down, the public address voice
spoke again:
"Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness
program."
Today November 26 in
1716 The first lion to be exhibited in America went on display in
Boston, MA.
1789 U.S. President Washington set aside this day to observe the
adoption of the Constitution of the United States.
1832 Public streetcar service began in New York City.
1867 J.B. Sutherland patented the refrigerated railroad car.
1917 The National Hockey League (NHL) was officially formed in
Montreal, Canada.
1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter peered into the tomb of King
Tutankhamen.
1940 The Nazis forced 500,000 Jews of Warsaw, Poland to live
within a walled ghetto.
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered nationwide
gasoline rationing to begin December 1.
1942 The motion picture "Casablanca" had its world premiere at
the Hollywood Theater in New York City.
1943 The HMS Rohna became the first ship to be sunk by a guided
missile. The German missile attack led to the death of 1,015 U.S.
troops.
1950 China entered the Korean conflict forcing UN forces to
retreat.
1958 Maurice Richard (Montreal Canadiens) scored his 600th NHL
career goal.
1965 France became the third country to enter space when it
launched its first satellite the Diamant-A.
1975 Lynette"Squeaky" Fromme was found guilty by a federal jury
in Sacramento, CA, for trying to assassinate U.S. President Ford
on September 5.
1979 The International Olympic Committee voted to re-admit China
after a 21-year absence.
1983 A Brinks Mat Ltd. vault at London's Heathrow Airport was
robbed by gunmen. The men made off with 6,800 gold bars worth
nearly $40 million. Only a fraction of the gold has ever been
recovered and only two men were convicted in the heist.
1985 The rights to Richard Nixon's autobiography were acquired by
Random House for $3,000,000.
1988 The U.S. denied an entry visa to PLO chairman Yasser Arafat,
who was seeking permission to travel to New York to address the
U.N. General Assembly.
1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev met with Iraqi Foreign
Minister Tariq Aziz at the Kremlin to demand that Iraq withdraw
from Kuwait.
1990 Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. agreed to acquire MCA
Inc. for $6.6 billion.
1992 The British government announced that Queen Elizabeth II had
volunteered to start paying taxes on her personal income. She
also took her children off the public payroll.
1995 Two men set fire to a subway token booth in the Brooklyn
borough of New York City. The clerk inside was fatally burned.
1997 The U.S. and North Korea held high-level discussions at the
State Department for the first time.
1998 Hulk Hogan announced that he was retiring from pro wrestling
and would run for president in 2000.
2003 The U.N. atomic agency adopted a resolution that censured
Iran for past nuclear cover-ups and warning that it would be
policed to put to rest suspicions that the country had a nuclear
weapons agenda.
2011 The Mars Science Laboratory/Curiosity spacecraft launched
from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL. The Mars rover
Curiosity landed on the floor of Gale Crater on August 6, 2012.
2018 smiled.
|
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Incredimail vs Thunderbird Sunday, November 25, 2018, 08:58 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, November 25
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
2 arrested for Breaking Into Cal
Fire Station during "Camp" Fire
______________________________________________________
Today, November 25 in
1783 During the Revolutionary War, the British evacuated
New York. New York was their last military position in the U.S.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Seek simplicity, and distrust it.
--- Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947)
______________________________________________________
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.
--- Jeff Marder
I won't take my religion from any man who never works
except with his mouth.
--- Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967)
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
"Purpose of visit?" asked the customs agent as we approached
a checkpoint at the U.S.-Canadian border.
"We're going to a wedding," my wife said.
"Are you carrying any weapons -- knives, guns?" he asked.
"No," she said. "It's not that kind of wedding."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
After a lady's car had leaked motor oil on her cement
driveway, she bought a large sack of cat litter to soak
it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the
convenience store to get another bag to finish the job.
The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her
purchase, he said, "Lady, if that were my cat, I'd put
him outside!"
______________________________________________________
Minot's Lighthouse, Massachusetts
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Robert DePalma
William Erlbacher
Concow,
California
2 arrested for breaking into Cal
fire station during Camp fire
Two Concow men are accused of breaking into a Cal Fire station
during the Camp Fire.
Robert DePalma and William Erlbacher both face five felony counts
including looting during an emergency and possession of stolen
property.
Bail is set at $250,000 each.
Looting during an emergency is bad enough, looting at the Fire
Station will hopefully get them the death penalty.
From: Larry
Re: Thunderbird versus Incredimail
Dear Webby
I am using Incredimail xe as my email provider. I am
wondering if Thunderbird would be a better profider.
Can i transfer my email addresses to it.
any info would be very helpful.
Sincerely. Larry
Dear Larry
Neither Incredimail nor Thunderbird are email PROVIDERS.
They are email programs. You still need an email provider, either
your local ISP or Gmail or AOL or any outfit like that.
Once you have signed up with an email provider, then you can
choose which email program you want to use.
If you travel a lot, choose Gmail as your provider. It works from
anywhere in the world.
Once you have a decent provider, then you can select the email
program.
You can definitely choose Incredimail, even though you will annoy
the recipients with the goofy attachments.
Gmail is very popular, and you can set it to be POP mail. Then
you can handle it with anything from Eudora to Thunderbird.
I still use Eudora. It works reliably. No problem since 1993.
If you keep your mail boxes trimmed down, you can even use
Outlook. Just don't allow them to get too large, or it will
suicide and take all your mails with it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
After examining the contents of the employee suggestion box,
the senior partner of the law firm complained, "I wish they
would be more specific. What kind of kite? What lake?"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The new bride had spent two hours preparing pumpkin pie
for their first Thanksgiving dinner together. During
desert, she watched her husband slowly savor each forkful.
"How was it, Honey?" she asked when he'd finished.
"Well," he began thoughtfully, wiping his lips, "you
probably could have beaten the eggshells a little longer.
But on the whole, it was a good start."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Buying Big Ticket Items
Between Christmas and New Years is a good time to buy big
ticket items like cars. Dealers usually want to clear out the
old to make way for the new. Still do your research,
compare prices, and DON'T buy from the first car
lot or store.
8
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Lets travel to Arkansas USA
|
___________________________________________________
A little boy took the chair at the barbershop.
"How would you like your hair cut today, son?" asked the
barber.
"Oh, do it like you do Daddy's, with the big hole at the
top."
___________________________________________________
Recently, our 18-year-old daughter started hunting for her first
real job. She spent an afternoon filling out applications,
leaving them on the kitchen table to finish later. As I walked
by, a section of the application on top jumped out at me. Under
"Previous Employment" she wrote,
"Baby sitting."
In answer to "Reason for Leaving" she wrote, "Parents came home."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
>From Ann
How to Clean the House
1. Open a new file in your PC.
2. Name it "Housework."
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN.
4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN.
5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to
delete Housework permanently?"
6. Calmly answer, "Yes," and press the mouse button
firmly.
Feel better?
Today November 25 in
1715 Sybilla Thomas Masters became the first American to be
granted an English patent for cleaning and curing Indian corn.
1758 During the French and Indian War, the British captured Fort
Duquesne at what is now known as Pittsburgh.
1783 During the Revolutionary War, the British evacuated New
York. New York was their last military position in the U.S.
1837 William Crompton patented the silk power loom.
1850 Texas relinquished one-third of its territory in exchange
for $10 million from the U.S. to pay its public debts and settle
border disputes.
1867 Alfred Nobel patented dynamite.
1884 J.B. Meyenberg received the patent for evaporated milk.
1936 The Anti-Comintern Pact, an agreement between Japan and
Germany, was signed.
1947 Movie studio executives meeting in New York agreed to
blacklist the "Hollywood 10," who were cited a day earlier and
jailed for contempt of Congress when they failed to cooperate
with the House Un-American Activities Committee.
1955 In the U.S., the Interstate Commerce Commission banned
racial segregation on interstate trains and buses.
1970 Japanese author Yukio Mishima committed ritual suicide after
giving a speech attacking Japan's post-war constitution.
1973 Greek President George Papadapoulos was ousted in military
coup.
1976 O.J. Simpson (Buffalo Bills) ran for 273 yards against the
Detroit Lions.
1983 Mediators from Syria and Saudi Arabia announced a cease-fire
in the PLO civil war in Tripoli, Lebanon.
1985 Ronald W. Pelton was arrested on espionage charges. Pelton
was a former employee of the National Security Agency. He was
later convicted of 'selling secrets' to Soviet agents.
1986 U.S. President Reagan and Attorney Gen. Edwin Meese revealed
that profits from secret arms sales to Iran had been diverted to
rebels in Nicaragua. National Security Advisor John Poindexter
resigned and Oliver North was fired.
1990 Poland held its first popular presidential election.
1992 The Czech parliament voted to split the country into
separate Czech and Slovak republics beginning January 1, 1993.
1993 Egyptian Prime Minister Atef Sedki escaped an attempt on his
life when a bomb was detonated by Islamic militants near his
motorcade.
1995 Serbs protested in the streets of the Bosnian capital
Sarajevo The protest was against a peace plan.
1998 Britain's highest court ruled that former Chilean dictator
Augusto Pinochet, whose extradition was being sought by Spain,
could not claim immunity from prosecution for the crimes he
committed during his rule.
1998 President Jiang Zemin arrived in Tokyo for the first visit
to Japan by a Chinese head of state since World War II.
1998 The IMF (International Monetary Fund) approved a $5.5
billion bailout for Pakistan.
2018 smiled.
|
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Saturday, November 24, 2018, 12:13 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, November 24
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Mother drove two miles to police station
with son, 12, on auto's hood
______________________________________________________
Today, November 24 in
1859 Charles Darwin, a British naturalist, published "On the
Origin of Species." It was the paper in which he explained his
theory of evolution through the process of natural selection.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Seek simplicity, and distrust it.
--- Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947)
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Judy for this story:
The Students in my third-grade class were bombarding me
with questions about my newly pierced ears.
"Does the hole go all the way through?"
"Yes."
"Did it hurt?"
"Just a little."
"Did they stick a needle through your ears?"
"No, they used a special gun."
Silence followed, and then one solemn voice called out,
"How far away did they stand?"
And one smart-aleck could not resist asking:
"Did they get both ears with one shot?"
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
>From Dave
He was not well-educated and rather rough and crude around the
edges, but he was recently converted and now on fire for the
Lord.
He was constantly pestering the pastor to give him some work that
would be helpful to the church. Finally the pastor agreed. He
gave the man a list of ten people who hadn't been in church for
years nor made any financial contribution. Some of these were
quite prominent in the community.
The pastor said, "What I want you to do is get these people back
to church, however you can. You can use church stationery if
you want, but get these people back to church."
Three weeks later the pastor got an envelope in the mail from a
prominent doctor whose name had been on the list, along with a
check for $1,000 and a note that read, "Dear Pastor, Please
excuse my inactivity at church. I really have no excuse.Â
Accept this check as a partial contribution for all the Sundays
I've missed, and be assured I will never, by choice, miss worship
again.
Sincerely, J. B. Jones, M.D.
P.S. - Will you kindly tell your secretary that there is only
one "t" in dirty and no "c" in skunk?"
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Classic from the Clinton era
To: All staff, Los Alamos National Laboratory
From: Bill Richardson, Secretary of Energy
Dear staff members:
Due to an unfortunate and silly overreaction by the Republicans
in Congress to our minor difficulties in the security area, we're
being forced to tighten up just a bit.
Effective Monday:
1. The brown paper bag in which we store the computer disk drives
that contain the nation's nuclear secrets will no longer be left
on the picnic table at the staff commissary during lunch hour. It
will be stored in "the vault." I know this is an inconvenience to
many of you, but it's a sad sign of the times.
2. The three-letter security code for accessing "the vault" will
no longer be "B-O-B." To confuse would-be spies, that security
code will be reversed. Please don't tell anybody.
3. Visiting scientists and graduate students from Libya, North
Korea and mainland China will no longer be allowed to wander the
hallways without proper identification. Beginning Monday, they
will be required to wear a stick-on lapel tag that clearly
states, "Hello, My Name Is . . .." The stickers will be available
at the front desk.
4. The computer network used for scientific calculations will no
longer be hyper linked via the Internet to such Web sites as
www.moammar.com, www.swedechicks.com, or www.hackers-r-us.com.
Links to all Disney sites will be maintained, however.
5. Researchers bearing a security clearance of Level 5 and higher
will no longer be permitted to exchange updates on their work by
posting advanced-physics formulas on the men's room walls.
6. On "Bowling Night," please check your briefcases and laptop
computers at the front counter of the Bowl-a-Drome instead of
leaving them in the cloakroom. Mr. Badonov, the front-counter
supervisor, has promised to "keep un eye on zem" for us.
7. Staff members will no longer be allowed to take home small
amounts of plutonium, iridium or uranium for use in those "little
weekend projects around the house." That includes you parents who
are helping the kids with their science fair projects.
8. Thermonuclear devices may no longer be checked out for
"recreational use." We've not yet decided if exceptions will be
made for Halloween, the Fourth of July or New Year's Eve. We'll
keep you posted.
9. Employees may no longer "borrow" the AA batteries from the
burglar alarm system to power their Game Boys and compact-disc
players during working hours.
10. And, finally, when reporting for work each day, all employees
must enter through the front door. Raoul, the janitor, will no
longer admit employees who tap three times on the side door to
avoid clocking in late. I know this crackdown might seem punitive
and oppressive to many of you, but it is our sworn duty to
protect the valuable national secrets that have been entrusted to
our care.
Remember: Security isn't a part-time job-it's an imperative, all
37 1/2 hours of the week!
______________________________________________________
From Linda
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Shaurice Jones, 36,
Bath, a Lehigh Valley borough.
Pennsylvania
Mother drove two miles to police station
with son, 12, on auto's hood
A Pennsylvania mother drove two miles with her 12-year-son on the
hood of her car, according to police who yesterday arrested the
woman on a pair of endangerment charges.
As alleged in a criminal complaint, Shaurice Jones and her son
quarreled last week when she drove the boy to a local dentist.
The child, cops say, refused to go into the office. Instead, he
climbed atop his mother’s automobile.
Jones, 36, responded to her son’s protest by getting into her car
and driving two miles to a police precinct. The speed limit on
the road Jones traveled is 40 mph.
Upon arriving at the Colonial Regional Police Department, Jones
admitted to officers that she had been driving with her son on
the vehicle’s hood. It appears Jones went to the precinct in the
hopes that cops would mediate the family dental dispute.
Pictured above, Jones has been charged with endangering the
welfare of a child, a felony, and reckless endangerment, a
misdemeanor. She was freed from custody after posting $1000 bail
and is next due in court on December 4 for a preliminary hearing.
Jones lives in Bath, a Lehigh Valley borough.
That is the last time she will ever ask the police for help!
From: Derrick
Re: Filters not working
Dear Webby
I have made filters to filter out spam that has all the common
terms used by spammers. Yet more and more spams that has
exactly those words in the subject line gets through anyway.
The filters work some of the time but not at other times.
Is that MailWasher's fault or what's going on ?
Derrick
Dear Derrick
If you look into the header of those spams you will see some
weird gobbledigook in the spot where plain words are showing
if you read it with MailWasher or an email program.
The gobbledigook is just the character codes in a different font.
It is normally preceded with some stuff that contains:
=?ISO-
Just make a filter that looks for "=?ISO-" in the entire header.
I catch about a dozen spams a day with that filter, and I have
never seen a legitimate mail that had that combination of
characters in the header.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A man got on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is
between Limerick and Cork.
"About two hours," says the driver.
Then the man says, "Okay, then how long is the trip between
Cork and Limerick?"
The irritated driver says to the man, "It's still about two
hours. Why would you think there would be a difference?"
And the man said, "Well, it's only a week between Christmas
and New Year, but it's a long time between New Year and
Christmas!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
An old man sitting on the nursing home porch turns to the
old man sitting next to him and chuckles, "Winter days
like this really take me back. Do you remember the first
time you made love to your wife?"
"Heck No", says the other fellow,
"I don't even remember the LAST time...."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Check the Sell By Date
When shopping, always note the "sell by" date. Most foods
will last a week past the "sell by" date. Look in the back of
cases for the latest dates. If you already own food you
won't be able to use, simply freeze it by the "sell by" date.
8
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
The Shirk Report
|
___________________________________________________
Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the
same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70.
They rode on the elevator together at the end of an
unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man was completely
done in, and he noted with some resentment that his senior
was fresh as a daisy.
"I don't understand," he marveled, "how you can listen to
complaining patients from morning till night, on a day like
this, and still look so spry and unbothered when it's over?"
The older analyst replied, "Oy, who listens?"
___________________________________________________
A woman answered her front door and found two little boys
holding a list.
"Lady," one of them explained, "we're on a scavenger hunt,
and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone
and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar."
"Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a
challenging hunt?"
"Our baby-sitter's boyfriend."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Thanks to Sandie for this story:
Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m.,
I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better
days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right.
By 7 p.m., things had not changed, so I suggested I go
outside, pretend I had just gotten home and start all over
again. My wife agreed.
I went outside, came back in and with a big smile,
announced, "Honey, I'm home!"
"And just where have you been?" she replied sharply.
"It's after seven o'clock!"
Today November 24 in
1615 French King Louis XIII married Ann of Austria. They were
both 14 years old.
1859 Charles Darwin, a British naturalist, published "On the
Origin of Species." It was the paper in which he explained his
theory of evolution through the process of natural selection.
1863 During the Civil War, the battle for Lookout Mountain began
in Tennessee.
1871 The National Rifle Association was incorporated in the U.S.
1874 Joseph F. Glidden was granted a patent for a barbed fencing
material.
1903 Clyde J. Coleman received the patent for an electric self-
starter for an automobile.
1940 Nazis closed off the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw, Poland. Over
the next three years the population dropped from 350,000 to
70,000 due to starvation, disease and deportations to
concentration camps.
1944 During World War II, the first raid against the Japanese
capital of Tokyo was made by land-based U.S. bombers.
1947 The "Hollywood 10," were cited for contempt of Congress for
refusing to answer questions about alleged Communist influence in
their industry.
1963 Dallas nightclub owner Jack Ruby shot and killed Lee Harvey
Oswald live on national television.
1969 Apollo 12 landed safely in the Pacific Ocean bringing an end
to the second manned mission to the moon.
1971 Hijacker Dan Cooper, known as D.B. Cooper, parachuted from a
Northwest Airlines 727 over Washington state with $200,000 in
ransom. He has not been caught.
1983 The Palestine Liberation Organization released six Israeli
prisoners in exchange for the release of 4,500 Palestinians and
Lebanese held by the Israelis.
1985 In Malta, Egyptian commandos stormed an Egyptian jetliner.
60 people died in the raid.
1987 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to scrap short- and
medium-range missiles. It was the first superpower treaty to
eliminate an entire class of nuclear weapons.
1989 Czechoslovakia's hard-line party leadership resigned after
more than a week of protests against its policies.
1992 In China, a domestic jetliner crashed, killing 141 people.
1993 The U.S. Congress gave its final approval to the Brady
handgun control bill.
1993 Robert Thompson and Jon Venables (both 11 years old) were
convicted of murdering 2-year-old James Bulger of Liverpool,
England. They were both sentenced to "indefinite detention."
1995 In Ireland, the voters narrowly approved a constitutional
amendment legalizing divorce.
1996 Rusty Wallace won the first NASCAR event to be held in
Japan.
1998 AOL (America Online) announced a deal for their purchase of
Netscape for $4.21 billion. Then Microsoft "persuaded" AOL to
shelf and block Netscape and use Internet Explorer instead.
Billions of netscape fans were furious, but powerless against
Microsoft's unlimited wealth.
2018 smiled.
|
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Gramma got run over by a reindeer Friday, November 23, 2018, 10:37 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, November 23
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
What is the difference between the Palestinian Authority and
DACA?
Both fund terrorists.
The Palestinian Authority pays a salary for terrorists, who have
been caught and are sitting in a jail in Israel.
What DACA pays to criminals freed by Sanctuary states is well
enough known.
DACA recipient “Luis Cobos-Cenobio, 29, an illegal immigrant,
faces charges of terrorism and attempted capital murder after a
shooting spree that saw him open fire [on] police during two
separate confrontations as he tried to escape a routine traffic
stop last week.
A href="https://youtu.be/xzODIKkp-d0">Vido of attack
According to ICE officials, Cobos-Cenobio was part of DACA, a
controversial amnesty program pushed by former President Obama
and many Democrats.
“Mr. Cobos-Cenobio had at least two previous arrests, officials
said, including one misdemeanor charge in 2015 that brought him
to ICE’s attention. But the Obama administration, which was in
office at the time, concluded he wasn’t a danger, and declined to
pursue deportation,” The Times continued.
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Florida Driver's Blood Alcohol Content
Was More Than 8X Legal Limit
______________________________________________________
Today, November 23 in
1980 In southern Italy, approximately 4,800 people were
killed in a series of earthquakes.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the
incomprehensible.
--- Alfred A. Knopf
We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics
ruled by Frankenstein logic.
--- David Russell
______________________________________________________
Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a
few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the
very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Q.: Why does Santa wear red underwear?
A.: He's a man--he did all his laundry in one load.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dave for this story:
My mother and I returned to my parents' house late one evening
to find my father, my college-age brother, Steven, and my
ten-year-old sister fast asleep.
Mom had forgotten her house keys, so we knocked loudly, first
at the back door and then the front and side doors. We yelled
my father's name over and over, with no answer. The car horn
aroused the neighbors but no one at our house.
We drove into town and phoned home, finally waking Steven.
When we got back, he let us in. Dad was in bed, snoring,
with the television on. Mom quietly switched it off.
Dad woke right up.
"Don't turn that off," he said. "I'm watching it!"
______________________________________________________
Grand Island East Channel Lighthouse
Lighthouse in the Alger County, Michigan
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Ricardo Portillo-Gonzalez, 50,
Port Richey,
Florida
Florida Driver's Blood Alcohol Content
Was More Than 8X Legal Limit
A Florida motorist’s blood alcohol content was more than eight
times the legal limit when he was arrested yesterday for
careening across the road, hitting two guardrails, and nearly
striking other vehicles, cops report.
Ricardo Portillo-Gonzalez, 50, was pulled over Sunday afternoon
by a Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office corporal after police
issued multiple be-on-the-lookout warnings after receiving
witness reports about a dangerous driver.
When Portillo-Gonzalez was contacted, a cop noted that he smelled
of booze, had bloodshot, glassy eyes, and was unsteady on his
feet. A subsequent breathalyzer test registered Portillo-
Gonzalez’s blood alcohol content at .66 (the legal limit is .08).
A second test recorded the suspect’s BAC at .64.
Seen above, Portillo-Gonzalez was arrested for drunk driving and
booked into the county jail on the misdemeanor charge. The El
Salvador native, who works for a lawn care company, was released
from custody early this morning after posting $500 bond (and
sobering up).
Portillo-Gonzalez, who lives in Port Richey, a Tampa suburb, is
scheduled for a December 10 court appearance.
From: Alice
Re: Gramma got run over by a reindeer
Dear Webby
where can I find that classic about
Gramma got run over by a reindeer?
Gramma Alice
Dear Gramma Alice
Here it is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfSb6J4jhcU
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
One day, visited a doctor for a vaccination.
After the doctor gave an injection, he tried to
bandage around 's arm.
"I think you'd better bandage around the other arm, doc!"
asked .
"But, why? I'm supposed to bandage around the injected
part of your arm to let your friends know not to touch it."
"You really don't have a clue about how kids behave, do you?"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing
one another for some time.
After inquiring about each other's health one asked how
the other's husband was doing.
"Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig
up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped
down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"
"Oh dear! I'm very sorry." replied her friend
"What did you do?"
"Opened a can of peas instead."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Browning Flour for Gravy
The key to having appealing looking brown gravy, rather
than pale gravy, is to brown the flour you use to thicken
the gravy. Brown the flour in a skillet before adding liquid.
Be sure to keep the heat low so it doesn't burn.
For really fine gourmet gravy first gently sautee finely
chopped onions with a bit of butter until they are about
hazelnut brown.
Do NOT go check your email during that, or else the
onions will get black and bitter corners. When they are
evenly browned, sprinkle some flour over them and stir
until it too is evenly browned.
Then stand back and with a longhandled ladle pour a ladle
full water into the frying pan. The miniature steam explosion
will tear apart any flour balls and you will get a smooth and
delicious gravy. Add salt and pepper and whatever herbs
and spices are called for, and let it simmer for a while.
You can enhance the flavor by sprinkling some Hungarian
paprika over the onions before you sprinkle the flour. It
needs the hot butter to unlock it's flavor.
Enjoy!
DearWebby
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Astronomy Picture of the Day
|
___________________________________________________
What's the most popular wine at Thanksgiving?
"Do I have to eat my Brussel sprouts?"
___________________________________________________
Thanks to Donnie for these:
"Authentic Amusing Headlines"
Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find
--- The Los Angeles Times
Light' meals are lower in fat, calories
-- Huntington Herald-Dispatch
Alcohol ads promote drinking
-- The Hartford Courant
Infertility unlikely to be passed on
--- Montgomery Advertiser
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link
--- Cornell Daily Sun
Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut
--- The New York Times
Malls try to attract shoppers
-- The Baltimore Sun
Official: Only rain will cure drought
-- The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts
Low Wages Said Key to Poverty
-- Newsday
Man shoots neighbor with machete
-- The Miami Herald
Economist uses theory to explain economy
-- Collinsville Herald-Journal
Bible church's focus is the Bible
-- Saint Augustine Record, Florida
Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear
-- Journal of Commerce
Lack of brains hinders research
-- The Columbus Dispatch
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Morris bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.
A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those
pretty 4-Wheel drive vehicles."
"She did," he replied, "But where in the world a fake Jeep was
I going to find !!"
Today November 23 in
1765 Frederick County, MD, repudiated the British Stamp Act.
1835 Henry Burden patented the horseshoe manufacturing machine.
1889 The first jukebox made its debut in San Francisco, at the
Palais Royale Saloon.
1890 Princess Wilhelmina became Queen of the Netherlands at the
age of 10 when her father William III died.
1943 During World War II, U.S. forces seized control of Tarawa
and Makin from the Japanese during the Central Pacific offensive
in the Gilbert Islands.
1945 The U.S. wartime rationing of most foods ended.
1948 Dr. Frank G. Back patented the "Zoomar" lens.
1946 Mound Metalcraft changed its name to Tonka Toys
Incorporated.
1961 The Dominican Republic changed the name of its capital from
Ciudad Trujillo to Santo Domingo.
1971 The People's Republic of China was seated in the United
Nations Security Council.
1979 In Dublin, Ireland, Thomas McMahon was sentenced to life
imprisonment for the assassination of Earl Mountbatten.
1980 In southern Italy, approximately 4,800 people were killed in
a series of earthquakes.
1983 The first Pershing II missiles were deployed in West
Germany. In response, the U.S.S.R. broke off International
Nuclear Forces (INF) talks in Geneva.
1985 Larry Wu-tai Chin, a retired CIA analyst, was arrested and
accused of spying for China. He committed suicide a year after
his conviction.
1985 Gunmen hijacked an Egyptian jetliner en route from Athens to
Cairo. The plane was forced to land in Malta.
1988 Wayne Gretzky scored his 600th National Hockey League (NHL)
goal.
1989 Lucia Barrera de Cerna, a housekeeper who claimed she had
witnessed the slaying of six Jesuit priests and two other people
at the Jose Simeon Canas University in El Salvador, was flown to
the U.S.
1991 Yugoslavia's rival leaders agreed to a new cease-fire, the
14th of the Balkan civil war.
1994 About 111 people, mostly women and children, were killed in
a stampede after Indian police baton-charged tribal protesters in
the western city of Nagpur.
1995 Charles Rathbun, free-lance photographer, was booked in
Hermosa Beach, CA, for investigation of murder in the
disappearance of model Linda Sobek. He was later convicted.
1998 Dennis Rodman filed for an annulment from Carmen Electra.
The two had been married on November 14, 1998.
1998 The tobacco industry signed the biggest U.S. civil
settlement. It was a $206-billion deal to resolve remaining state
claims for treating sick smokers.
1998 A U.S. federal judge rejected a Virginia county's effort to
block pornography on library computer calling the attempt
unconstitutional.
2001 A crowd of 87,555 people watched the Texas Longhorns beat
the Texas A&M Aggies 21-7. The crowd was the largest to see a
football game in Texas.
2010 North Korea shelled Yeonpyeong Island.
2018 smiled.
|
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Thursday, November 22, 2018, 11:55 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, November 22
If you are in the USA, Happy Thanksgiving!
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Babysitter broke sobbing toddler’s bones
then dumped him near a hospital to die
______________________________________________________
Today, November 22 in
1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a
motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally was also
seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson was
inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
--- Rita Mae Brown
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl
and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
--- John Barrymore (1882 - 1942)
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single
word of what I am saying."
--- Oscar Wilde
______________________________________________________
I wondered if I could get my husband to address Christmas
cards, as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we
needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, "Come
on, Dear, let's get these out of the way."
He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went
into the den, only to return moments later with a high stack
of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed.
"They're last year's," he said. "I forgot to mail them. Now
let's go out to dinner and relax. You've been working too
hard."
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with
a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female
pedestrian.
She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She
looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's
path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and
stopped.
I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right.
"I'm fine," she assured me, "but I hate to think what could have
happened to me if that dog hadn't honked."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
>From Regina
After a recent move, I made up a list of companies,
agencies, and services that needed to know my new
address and phoned each one to ask for the change
to be made.
Everything went smoothly until I called one of my frequent
flier accounts.
After I explained to the representative what I wanted to do,
the woman told me, "I'm sorry; we can't do that over the
phone. You will have to fill out our change-of address form."
"How do I get one of those?" I asked.
"We'd be happy to provide you with one," she said
pleasantly. "May I have your new address so that I can
mail it to you?"
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Dominick Smith, 33,
Tulsa,
Oklahoma
Babysitter broke sobbing toddler’s bones
then dumped him near a hospital to die
A babysitter broke a two year-old boy’s bones because he would
not stop crying before dumping him at a hospital to die. Dominick
Smith, 33, was sentenced to life in prison last Friday for
shaking, hitting, dropping and whipping King Owens, leaving the
youngster with broken ribs and a skull fracture. Smith, who was
cleared of murder but convicted of child neglect, also gave the
toddler half a bottle of powerful sleep-aid NyQuil in a bid to
get him to sleep.
Two year-old King Owens was battered to death by babysitter
Dominick Smith because he wouldn’t stop crying. She was sentenced
to life in prison Friday
Smith’s boyfriend Johnny Jones is serving 40 years in jail after
being convicted of the same crime earlier this year. And King’s
mom Keyshawn Brown, who had enjoyed a lengthy friendship with her
son’s killers, will stand trial on identical charges next April,
Tulsa World reported
And King’s mom Keyshawn Brown, who had enjoyed a lengthy
friendship with her son’s killer, will stand trial on identical
charges next April, Tulsa World reported.
During Smith’s trial, her defense attorney tried to claim Jones
was behind the appalling catalog of abuse suffered by King. But
jurors agreed with prosection claims that the babysitter, who
began caring for King three weeks before his death, was behind
the violence. In her closing argument, prosecutor Andrea Brown
said: ‘Can you imagine watching that baby suffer for even a
minute and not do something about it?’
From: Len
Re: Cold Laptop
Dear Webby
I know you used to carry a laptop on the dogsled in the Yukon.
Do you know if today's laptops can handle the cold, for
example being locked in the truck while I am working?
Thanks
Len
Dear Len
Absolutely no problem. Just open it up and let it warm up
for a few minutes before turning it on, and it will be fine.
Any condensation it attracts while warming up, will be
baked out of it in the first half hour.
Computers can handle the cold a lot easier than heat,
and the most fragile part is the keyboard. Get yourself a
cheap but comfortable 16" - 17" keyboard and stick it into
your laptop case. The laptop will last longer, and so will
your hands and wrists.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her
Christmas cards.
"What denomination?" Asked the clerk.
"Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman.
"Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic.”
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
"Welcome to heaven, here's your harp and your tuning key."
"Welcome to hell, here's your harp."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Remedy for Too Much Perfume
If you still smell your perfume after a half hour, you
likely are wearing too much. Try this: spray it in
front of you and then walk through the spray. To
remove excess perfume, make a paste of water
and baking soda and rub it where you applied the
perfume, then rinse off.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Funny vintage inventions and gadgets.
|
___________________________________________________
John was tasked with bringing the Christmas decorations up
from the basement and start decorating the house and tree.
During one trek up the stairs, heavily laden with boxes, he
slipped and luckily only fell about two steps before landing
square on his behind.
His wife heard the noise and yelled, "What was that thump?"
"I just fell down the stairs," he explained.
She rushed into the room, "Anything broken?!"
"No, no, I'm fine."
There was just a slight pause before his loving wife said,
"No, I meant my decorations? Are any of them broken?"
___________________________________________________
"Now tell me, Miss Jones," said the senior partner to the
very junior employee, "what is the purpose of a vacation?"
"To impress upon the employees that the company can
get along without them," she responded promptly.
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
A woman who plays cards one night a month with a group of
friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband
when she came home around 11:30.
One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed
in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the
bedroom - only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading.
"Dammit woman!" he exclaimed. "Did you lose everything?"
Today November 22 in
1699 A treaty was signed by Denmark, Russia, Saxony and Poland
for the partitioning of the Swedish Empire.
1718 English pirate Edward Teach (a.k.a. "Blackbeard") was killed
during a battle off the coast of North Carolina. British soldiers
cornered him aboard his ship and killed him. He was shot and
stabbed more than 25 times.
1899 The Marconi Wireless Company of America was incorporated in
New Jersey.
1906 The International Radio Telegraphic Convention in Berlin
adopted the SOS distress signal.
1910 Arthur F. Knight patented a steel shaft to replace wood
shafts in golf clubs.
1935 The first trans-Pacific airmail flight began in Alameda, CA,
when the flying boat known as the China Clipper left for Manila.
The craft was carrying over 110,000 pieces of mail.
1942 During World War II, the Battle of Stalingrad began.
1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime Minister
Winston Churchill and Chinese leader Chiang Kai-shek met in Cairo
to discuss the measures for defeating Japan.
1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a
motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally was also
seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson was
inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President.
1967 The U.N. Security Council approved resolution 242. The
resolution called for Israel to withdraw from territories it had
captured in 1967 and called on adversaries to recognize Israel's
right to exist.
1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon lifted a ban on American
travel to Cuba. The ban had been put in place on February 8,
1963.
1974 The U.N. General Assembly gave the Palestine Liberation
Organization observer status.
1975 Juan Carlos I was proclaimed King of Spain upon the death of
Gen. Francisco Franco.
1975 "Dr. Zhivago" appeared on TV for the first time. NBC paid $4
million for the broadcast rights.
1977 Regular passenger service on the Concorde began between New
York and Europe.
1983 The Bundestag approved NATO's plan to deploy new U.S.
nuclear missiles in West Germany.
1984 Fred Rogers of PBS' "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood" presented a
sweater to the Smithsonian Institution.
1985 Anne Henderson-Pollard was taken into custody a day after
her husband Jonathon Jay Pollard was arrested for spying for
Israel.
1985 38,648 immigrants became citizens of the United States. It
was the largest swearing-in ceremony.
1986 An Iranian surface-to-surface missile hit a residential area
in the Iraqi capital of Baghdad, wounding 20 civilians.
1986 Attorney General Meese's office discovered a memo in Colonel
Oliver North's office that included an amount of money to be sent
to the Contras from the profits of weapons sales to Iran.
1986 Mike Tyson became the youngest to wear the world
heavyweight-boxing crown. He was only 20 years and 4 months old.
1988 The South African government announced it had joined Cuba
and Angola in endorsing a plan to remove Cuban troops from
Angola.
1989 Rene Moawad, the president of Lebanon, was assassinated less
than three weeks after taking office by a bomb that exploded next
to his motorcade in West Beirut.
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, his wife, Barbara, and
other congressional leaders shared Thanksgiving dinner with U.S.
troops in Saudi Arabia.
1990 British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher announced she would
resign.
1993 Mexico's Senate overwhelmingly approved the North American
Free Trade Agreement.
1994 Inside the District of Columbia's police headquarters a
gunman opened fire. Two FBI agents, a city detective and the
gunman were killed in the gun battle.
1994 In northwest Bosnia, Serb fighters set villages on fire in
response to retaliatory air strikes by NATO.
1998 CBS's "60 Minutes" aired a tape of Jack Kevorkian giving
lethal drugs in an assisted suicide of a terminally ill patient.
Kevorkian was later sentenced to 25 years in prison for second-
degree murder.
2005 Angela Merkel was elected as Germany's first female
chancellor.
2005 Microsoft's XBOX 360 went on sale.
2013 The discovery of Siats meekerorum was announced. The
dinosaur skeleton, more than 30 feet long, was found in eastern
Utah.
2018 smiled.
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Is "FAST Again With Xtra-PC" a scam ? Wednesday, November 21, 2018, 12:06 PM
Posted by Administrator
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Gmail opening wrong category Tuesday, November 20, 2018, 10:06 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, November 20
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Elderly Florida woman takes meth
to her doctor for testing
______________________________________________________
Today, November 20 in
1980 On Jefferson Island, Louisiana, an oil rig in Lake Pigneur
pierced the top of the salt dome beneath the island. The
freshwater lake completely drained within a few hours. The
Delcambre Canal reversed flow and two days later the previous
freshwater lake was a 1,300-foot-deep saltwater lake.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
How can you govern a country which has
246 varieties of cheese?
--- Charles De Gaulle (1890 - 1970)
Talent hits a target no one else can hit;
Genius hits a target no one else can see.
--- Arthur Schopenhauer
______________________________________________________
The teen-aged beauty was telling a friend that she
was really worried about her mother. The friend inquired
as to the reason for her worrying.
She informed her friend that her mom was
always fatigued from staying up all night long.
Her friend asked, "What's she doing staying up all night?
At her age, that's not good at all!"
The beauty replied, "Waiting for me to come home."
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was
sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots
of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted
by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.
"You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!"
a girl in the line sneered to the little fella.
Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head.
His grandmother knelt down next to him.
"I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always
wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger across
the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful."
The boy looked up, "Really?"
"Of course," said the grandmother. "Why just name me one
thing that's prettier than freckles."
The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into
his grandma's face, and softly whispered,
"Wrinkles."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
After spending most of a day shopping with her grandson,
purchasing gift after gift, the final stop on her checklist was
to take the boy to see Santa in the mall's center court area.
At the end of their visit, Santa gave the tyke a small gift.
When he said nothing, grandma prodded him, "What do
you say to Santa?"
"Charge it," the boy replied, confidently.
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Barbara Lee Ray, 73,
Miami,
Florida
Elderly Florida woman takes meth
to her doctor for testing
Barbara Lee Ray is being charged on two counts of possession of
methamphetamine together with two counts of possession of drug
paraphernalia after an encounter with her doctor.
The 73-year-old was in possession of meth and took it to her
doctor to get tested, according to police reports. She was
concerned about the effect the drug would have on her. She also
worried the drug would harm her, according to The Miami Herald.
Authorities were called to the hospital, and when they spoke to
her, she said she had been using the drug for a month, according
to police reports. She also showed police a "small clear plastic
baggie containing a white crystal-like substance," the report
says.
Ray also had an empty prescription bottle with her name written
on the prescription label. Contents that were inside the baggie
and the container tested positive for meth, the police report
says. Ray was sent to the hospital for treatment before being
taken into custody by police. She didn't overdose on the drug but
appeared to be under the influence of it, according to the police
report.
Ray would eventually be released from jail two days after her
doctor's visit. The Miami Herald reports it is unknown why Ray
was smoking meth or where she received the drugs.
Charles
Re: Gmail opening wrong category
Dear Webby
I am running W7 Google Chrome amd Gmail. A week or so ago I ran
Spybot and since then my GMail defaults to All Mail when I open
up. It used to default to Inbox on opening. How can I get
back to opening on Inbox.Â
You are the SuperfixerÂ
Charles
Dear Charles
Add or remove category tabs:
On your computer, open Gmail.
In the top right, click Settings Settings.
Click the Inbox tab.
In the "Inbox type" section, select Default. ...
In the "Categories" section, check the boxes of tabs you want to
show. ...
Scroll to the bottom, then click Save Changes.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Judi's car wasn't the most reliable in the world and she
called John whenever it broke down and she needed
a ride. One day John got such a call.
"What happened this time?" he asked.
"My brakes went out. Can you come and get me?"
"Sure. Where are you?"
"I'm in the drugstore?"
"Where's the car?"
"Over in the toothpaste isle."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Thanks to Sandie for this story:
Jill complained to Nina, "Rosey told me that you told her
the secret I told you not to tell her."
"Well," replied Nina in a hurt tone, "I told her not to tell
you I told her."
"Oh dear!" sighed Jill. "Well, don't tell her I told you
that she told me that you told her."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Refurbished Computers
Companies like Dell and Apple sell refurbished computers
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a much longer warranty than you will get from an online
auction, if you get any at all.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Slumping pumpkins!
|
___________________________________________________
A parent decreed one Christmas that she was no longer going
to remind her children of their thank-you note duties. As a
result their grandmother never received acknowledgments
of the generous checks she had given.
The next year things were different, however.
"The children came over in person to thank me," the
grandparent told a friend triumphantly.
"How wonderful!" the friend exclaimed. "What do you think
caused the change in behavior?"
"Oh, that's easy," the grandmother replied.
"This year I didn't sign the checks."
___________________________________________________
>from Linda
Overheard on an elevator: Today, my girlfriend asked me if I
could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess
"bacon" was the wrong answer.
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near
the cash register he saw a display of caps with "WWJD"
printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters
could mean, but couldn't figure it out, so he asked the clerk.
The clerk replied that the letters stood for "What Would Jesus
Do", and was meant to inspire people to not make rash
decisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in the
same situation.
The man thought a moment and then replied, "Well, I'm pretty
sure Jesus wouldn't pay $17.95 for one of these $3 caps."
Today November 20 in
1818 Simon Bolivar formally declared Venezuela independent of
Spain.
1873 Budapest was formed when the rival cities of Buda and Pest
were united to form the capital of Hungary.
1910 Francisco I. Madero led a revolution that broke out in
Mexico.
1943 During World War II, U.S. Marines began their landing on
Tarawa and Makin atolls in the Gilbert Islands.
1945 24 Nazi leaders went before an international war crimes
tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany.
1947 Britain's Princess Elizabeth married Philip Mountbatten,
Duke of Edinburgh in Westminster Abbey.
1959 Britain, Norway, Portugal, Switzerland, Austria, Denmark and
Sweden met to create the European Free Trade Association.
1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis ended. The Soviet Union removed its
missiles and bombers from Cuba and the U.S. ended its blockade
of the island.
1967 The Census Clock at the Department of Commerce in
Washington, DC, went past 200 million.
1969 The Nixon administration announced a halt to residential use
of the pesticide DDT as part of a total phase out of the
substance.
1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab leader
to address Israel's parliament.
1980 On Jefferson Island, Louisiana, an oil rig in Lake Pigneur
pierced the top of the salt dome beneath the island. The
freshwater lake completely drained within a few hours. The
Delcambre Canal reversed flow and two days later the previous
freshwater lake was a 1,300-foot-deep saltwater lake.
1983 An estimated 100 million people watched the controversial
ABC-TV movie "The Day After." The movie depicted the outbreak of
nuclear war.
1986 The one billionth Little Golden Book was printed. The title
was The Poky Little Puppy.
1987 Police investigating the fire at King's Cross, London's
busiest subway station, said that arson was unlikely to be the
cause of the event that took 31 lives.
1988 Egypt and China announced that they would recognize the
Palestinian state proclaimed by the Palestine National Council.
1989 Over 200,000 people rallied peacefully in Prague,
Czechoslovakia, demanding democratic reforms.
1990 Saddam Hussein ordered another 250,000 Iraqi troops into the
country of Kuwait.
1990 The space shuttle Atlantis landed at Cape Canaveral, FL,
after completing a secret military mission.
1992 A fire seriously damaged the northwest side of Windsor
Castle in England.
1993 The U.S. Senate passed the Brady Bill and legislation
implementing NAFTA.
1994 The Angolan government and rebels signed a treaty in Zambia
to end 19 years of war.
1995 Princess Diana admitted being unfaithful to Prince Charles
in an interview that was broadcast on BBC Television.
1998 Afghanistan's Taliban militia offered Osama bin Laden safe
haven. Osama bin Laden had been accused of orchestrating two U.S.
embassy bombings in Africa and later terrorist attacks on New
York City and the Pentagon.
1998 Forty-six states agreed to a $206 billion settlement of
health claims against the tobacco industry. The industry also
agreed to give up billboard advertising of cigarettes.
2018 smiled.
|
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Are online orders from European mail-order stores safe? Monday, November 19, 2018, 12:25 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, November 19
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Escort agency ‘sets up advert outside nursery
to recruit vulnerable mums’
______________________________________________________
Today, November 19 in
1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service on
the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the
unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to
himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable
man.
--- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950),
______________________________________________________
>From Barb
IDLE THOUGHTS OF A RETIRED PERSON
Oldies but goodies
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what
to feed it.
I had amnesia once -- or twice.
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible... and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when
he
grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is
gone.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other
people.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to
look like a nail.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
The speed of time is one-second per second.
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain
whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll
show you a man who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A guy was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat
beside him. The new guy was a wreck, pale, hands shaking,
biting his nails and moaning in fear. "Hey, pal, what's the
matter?" said the first guy.
"OmiGod.... I've been transferred to Los Angeles, California,"
the second answered. "They've got race riots, drugs.
The highest crime rate....."
"Hold on," said the first. "I've been in L.A all my life, and
its not bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work,
mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school
and it's as safe as anywhere in the world."
The second guy stopped shaking for a moment and said
"Oh, thank God. I was worried to death, but if you live
there and say it's ok, I'll take your word for it.
.....What do you do for a living?"
"...Me?" said the first, "...I'm a tail gunner on a garbage
truck."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find
comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a vodka and
cranberry along with a quiet conversation with Jesus. This
happened to me again after a paticularly difficult day.
I said 'Jesus, why do I work so hard?'
And I heard the reply: 'Men find many ways to demonstrate
the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a
peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to
gather.'
I said: 'I thought that money was the root of all evil.'
And the reply was: 'No, the LOVE of money is the root of all
evil.
Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad'.
I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning
question, so I asked it . 'Jesus,' I said, 'what is the meaning
of life? Why am I here?'
He replied: 'That is a question many men ask. The answer is in
your heart and is different for everyone and I would love to
chat with you some more, but for now, Senor.... I have to
finish your lawn.'
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Donny for this picture of his early Christmas Cactus
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
‘La Femme escorts’,
Liverpool
England
Escort agency ‘sets up advert outside nursery
to recruit vulnerable mums’
An escort agency has been accused of attempting to recruit
mothers by leaving an advertising van outside a nursery for two
weeks. The van, which advertised an agency called ‘La Femme
escorts’, was parked outside Pagoda Arts Centre in Liverpool
which functions as a nursery for local parents. Parents coming
in and out of the nursery were met by the van – which clearly
displayed contact details – on a number of occasions, prompting
concerns they were being ‘recruited’.
Councillor Steve Munby, who had the van removed following
complaints from Pagoda staff, said he feared the agency was
targeting young mums. He said: ‘They are trying to recruit
people and we are worried about that. It’s not just that it’s
offensive. ‘I can’t think why else they would put them there if
not to target mums or people who need to consider doing that
for financial reasons.
Normally you’d think they would put them in places where you
have a flow of people or potential customers but this isn’t
that. ‘They are trying to recruit people.’ After walking past
on Saturday lunchtime mum-of-two Joan Halfon said she thought
the van was ‘outrageous’. She said: ‘You come to town to do
some shopping, so of course you take your kids with you but you
don’t expect to see this.
‘In phone boxes or on the internet maybe, but not where
children could just be out walking with their parents.’ The
manager of Pagoda, who did not wish to be named, confirmed that
staff had reported the van to the council after it was left
parked outside the nursery for two weeks. She said nursery
parents were left ‘upset’ by the van, which staff thought had
been abandoned outside. She added: ‘We have no idea why it was
parked there. If they want to advertise they would have parked
it somewhere more busy.’ Featuring six naked women covered by
furs, the poster said the company offers ‘luxury’ services 24
hours a day, seven days a week. A spokesman for Liverpool
Council said: ‘Where vehicles are contravening parking
regulations or causing an obstruction we will take action to
have them moved on.’
Harald
Re: Ordering from European stores over the web
Dear Webby
I am trying to order some Christmas presents for some
relatives in Europe. Is it safe to order them from one of their
mail-order stores over the web?
Harald
Dear Harald
NO!!!
Not from Nigerian stores either.
Just buy the gifts here and mail them. Shipping and duty is
a lot less, and a LOT less frustrating.
Europe is ahead of us with phones, but 10 or more years
behind with on-line commerce, partly because their banks
are so barbaric.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Boris for this story:
When I picked up my Ford Escort at the service station
after some minor repairs, I paid by check as usual.
A couple of weeks later, I came home from work
and got hit with the frying pan.
After that, she gave me the silent treatment until I
figured out why she was so angry.
She had noticed the canceled check and, on the memo
line I had written "Escort Service."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
There is the story of a parson who got up one Sunday and
announced to his congregation:
"I have good news and bad news.
"The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our
new church roof.
"The bad news is, the money is still out there in your
pockets."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Fun Uses for Buttons
Buttons make great wall decorations or plates in doll houses.
You can string them together to make a button bracelet or
sew them on fabric. You could also substitute them for lost
game pieces or use them as poker chips.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
2018 Comedy Wildlife Awards plus previous years.
|
___________________________________________________
Benny and Mark were at the bar chatting about how much
their wives thought of them. Mark said, "My wife, she thinks
so much of me that she won't let me do any work around
the house. It's great!"
Not to be out done, Benny said, "That's nothing. My wife
simply worships me..."
Confused Mark asked, "She worships you? C'mon, what
makes you say that?"
"Easy. Every night she places a burnt offering before me."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Patty had been wanting new kitchen cabinets for a long time,
but her husband Don, insisted they were an extravagance.
She went to visit her dad for two weeks and when she returned,
she was overjoyed to find that Don had surprised her by
installing beautiful new cabinets as a Christmas present for
her.
A few days later, Debbie, a neighbor came over to visit and
after admiring the new cabinets, the neighbor added,
"All of us were so glad that the fire your husband had while
you were gone was confined to the kitchen.
Today November 19 in
1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It
resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War.
1850 The first life insurance policy for a woman was issued.
Carolyn Ingraham, 36 years old, bought the policy in Madison,
NJ.
1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address as
he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the Civil War
battlefield in Pennsylvania.
1893 The first newspaper color supplement was published in the
Sunday New York World.
1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E. Blaisdell.
1919 The U.S. Senate rejected the Treaty of Versailles with a
vote of 55 in favor to 39 against. A two-thirds majority was
needed for ratification.
1928 "Time" magazine presented its cover in color for the first
time. The subject was Japanese Emperor Hirohito.
1942 During World War II, Russian forces launched their winter
offensive against the Germans along the Don front.
1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service on
the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey.
1959 Ford Motor Co. announced it was ending the production of
the unpopular Edsel.
1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles Conrad and Alan Bean made
man's second landing on the moon.
1970 Hafiz al-Assad seized power in Syria.
1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab
leader to set foot in Israel on an official visit.
1981 U.S. Steel agreed to pay $6.3 million for Marathon Oil.
1985 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S.
Gorbachev met for the first time as they began their summit in
Geneva.
1990 NATO and the Warsaw Pact signed a treaty of nonaggression.
1993 The U.S. Senate approved a sweeping $22.3 billion anti-
crime measure. They outlawed crime!
1994 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to bomb rebel
Serb forces striking from neighboring Croatia.
1997 In Carlisle, IA, septuplets were born to Bobbi McCaughey.
It was only the second known case where all seven were born
alive.
1998 The impeachment inquiry of U.S. President Clinton began.
1998 Vincent van Gogh's "Portrait of the Artist Without Beard"
sold at auction for more than $71 million.
1999 In Istanbul, Turkey, the Organization for Security and
Cooperation in Europe (OSCE) concluded a two-day summit after
adopting a new arms accord. During the conference, Russia was
criticized for its military campaign against Chechnya's
separatist movement.
2002 The oil tanker Prestige broke into two pieces and sank off
northwest Spain. The tanker lost about 2 million gallons of
fuel oil when it ruptured November 13th and was towed about 150
miles out to sea.
2002 The U.S. government completed its takeover of security at
424 airports nationwide.
2003 Eight competing designs for a memorial to the victims of
the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks at the World Trade
Center were unveiled. One design would be built at the site of
the World Trade Center.
2007 The Amazon Kindle was first released.
2018 smiled.
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MailWasher and Malwarebytes Sunday, November 18, 2018, 01:00 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, November 18
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Woman who identified as a vampire stabbed boyfriend ‘because he
was a werewolf’
______________________________________________________
Today, November 18 in
1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of
standard time zones.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about
himself and then says them about other people.
--- Peter McArthur
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and
applaud yourself.
--- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
Junk - stuff we throw away. Stuff - junk we keep.
--- Da Funk
______________________________________________________
"If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart,"
said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready."
"Good, what are we having for breakfast?" said the new
husband.
"Toast and juice," the bride replied.
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a
popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a
man from the back of the theater yelled, "Hey, how'd you do
that?"
"I could tell you sir," the magician answered, "but then
I'd have to kill you."
After a short pause the man yelled back, "Ok then... just
tell my wife!"
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
and his family lived in the country, and as a
result seldom had guests. He was eager to help his mother
after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.
When the dinner was nearly over, went to the
kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie,
giving it to his father who passed it to a guest.
came in with a second piece of pie and
gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest.
This was too much for , who said, "It's no use,
Dad. The pieces are all the same size."
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Donny for this picture of his early Christmas Cactus
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Ekaterina Tirskaya, 22,
Novosibirsk,
Russia
Woman who identified as a vampire stabbed boyfriend ‘because he
was a werewolf’
A woman who thought she was a vampire from a TV show stabbed
her new boyfriend to try and ‘fulfil her mission to slay
werewolves’. Ekaterina Tirskaya, 22, believed she was Elena
Gilbert, the main character in fantasy drama The Vampire
Diaries, she told police. A psychological assessment carried
out before her trial in Novosibirsk, Russia, reportedly found
her to be sane.
Tirskaya and her unnamed lover slept together for the first
time after meeting on social media, the court was told. In the
morning she suddenly ‘changed’, telling him she was a vampire
and like Elena Gilbert, played by Canadian actress Nina Dobrev,
had to slay werewolves. He said he didn’t believe in the
supernatural, and urged her to go home, the court heard. ‘She
grabbed a knife in the kitchen and suddenly attacked him when
he was getting out of the bath,’ one report said.
‘He managed to get hold of the knife. ‘But she grabbed another
one and stabbed him in the chest.’ He staggered out of his flat
and banged on neighbours doors pleading for help. They called
for an ambulance and police.
The man was gravely wounded but survived the February attack.
Prosecutor Felix Kuznetsov said she was sentenced to two and a
half years in prison after being found guilty of inflicting
grievous bodily harm. She was also ordered to pay Ł3,900 in
‘moral damages’ to her stabbed lover.
Bob
Re: MailWasher and Malwarebytes
Dear Webby
I have finally decided to get mailwasher because i get so much
spam every day. I wanted to know if I can keep my Malwarebytes
with it.
Do I need to keep my virus protection because reading about it,
it mentions virus control in it.
Thanks, Bob
Dear Bob
Yes, sure you can keep MawareBytes!
MalwareBytes protects you from evil shit that you get via
browsers.
MailWasher protects you from spam, and bad stuff coming in via
email.
The two of them are like a Marine at the front door, and a Navy
Seal at your back door. They guard different doors, but both
protect you.
The nice part about MailWasher, it lets you preview the headers
of mail, including the hidden parts that you otherwise never
see, and lets you nuke those mails right on the server, without
ever downloading that crap.
For example, a sender might pretend to be PayPal, and in your
email program even look like PayPal. The MailWasher preview
shows you IN RED, that the underlying, hidden actual address
is a Russian .ru address.
And it flags it for Deleting.
When you hit F6 to process, that mail goes straight to hell.
You don't even have to download it.
I use the same addresses since 1994, and they are in all
spammer's CDs.
So what?
I have been using MailWasher since about 1996, and I only see
the 100 or so mails, that I actually want to read.
By all means GET MailWasher as fast as you can.
You have seen messages from people, who have kicked themselves
for not getting it a long time ago.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
An English 101 class was asked to write a SHORT essay
containing four elements: religion, royalty, sex, and mystery.
The only "A+" in the class read:
"My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant! I wonder who did it?"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Thanks to Connie for this classic:
A minister was opening his mail one morning. Drawing a
single sheet of paper from an envelope he found written
on it only one word: "FOOL".
The next Sunday he announced, "I have known many people
who have written letters and forgot to sign their name.
"But this week I received a letter from someone who signed
his name and had forgotten to write a letter."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Disguising Gifts for Curious Kids
Assign a number for each person in your family and then put
the number on the presents instead of a name. That way,
children won't go rummaging through presents to see which
presents are theirs. When it is time to open gifts, tell
everyone what their number is.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
2018 Comedy Wildlife Awards plus previous years.
|
___________________________________________________
Two salesmen were writing up their orders when the
conversation came around to last night's big date.
"So, how'd it go, Harry?" asked Gil.
"Terrible," admitted Harry. "The moment we got back to her
place the phone started ringing. There must have been
fifteen calls from guys wanting to ask her out. It never
stopped, and we never got started."
Gil tried to comfort him. "It could have been worse, Harry.
After all, an attractive young woman's allowed to have her
number in the phone book, now isn't she?"
"Yeah, but not with a picture in the Yellow Pages."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he
asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.
"That's not an offense", said the judge.
"How early were you doing this shopping?"
"A few hours before the store opened."
Today November 18 in
1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the
Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in
England.
1820 Captain Nathaniel Palmer became the first American to
sight the continent of Antarctica.
1865 Samuel L. Clemens published "The Celebrated Jumping Frog
of Calaveras County" under the pen name "Mark Twain" in the New
York "Saturday Press."
1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time
zones.
1903 The U.S. and Panama signed a treaty that granted the U.S.
rights to build the Panama Canal.
1916 Douglas Haig, commander of the British Expeditionary Force
in World War I, called off the Battle of the Somme in France.
The offensive began on July 1, 1916.
1928 The first successful sound-synchronized animated cartoon
premiered in New York. It was Walt Disney's "Steamboat Willie,"
starring Mickey Mouse.
1936 Germany and Italy recognized the Spanish government of
Francisco Franco.
1959 William Wyler's "Ben-Hur" premiered at Loew's Theater in
New York City's Times Square.
1966 U.S. Roman Catholic bishops did away with the rule against
eating meat on Fridays.
1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles "Pete" Conrad Jr. and Alan L.
Bean landed on the lunar surface during the second manned
mission to the moon.
1976 The parliament of Spain approved a bill that established a
democracy after 37 years of dictatorship.
1983 Argentina announced its ability to produce enriched
uranium for use in nuclear weapons.
1987 The U.S. Congress issued the Iran-Contra Affair report.
The report said that President Ronald Reagan bore "ultimate
responsibility" for wrongdoing by his aides.
1987 CBS Inc. announced it had agreed to sell its record
division to Sony Corp. for about $2 billion.
1988 U.S. President Reagan signed major legislation provided
the death penalty for drug traffickers who kill.
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives joined the U.S. Senate
in approving legislation aimed at protecting abortion
facilities, staff and patients.
1993 Representatives from 21 South African political parties
approved a new constitution.
1997 First Union Corp. announced its purchase of CoreStates
Financial Corp. for $16.1 billion. To date it was the largest
banking deal in U.S. history.
2018 smiled.
|
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Eudora Attachments on W10 solved Saturday, November 17, 2018, 11:53 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, November 17
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Florida man asks cops to arrest him
for child porn
______________________________________________________
Today, November 16 in
1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt,
linking the Mediterranean and the Red sea.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
The thing that impresses me the most about America is the
way parents obey their children.
--- King Edward VIII (1894 - 1972)
I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross
that bridge when he comes to it.'
--- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972)
There is no nonsense so gross that society will not, at some
time, make a doctrine of it and defend it with every weapon of
communal stupidity.
--- Robertson Davies
______________________________________________________
>From Carol
My husband brought our three young children down the
long hall of the maternity ward, pausing to let them wave
in each doorway at the new mothers cuddling bundles.
At my room, he beckoned them in and introduced them
to their new brother.
Five-year-old Katrina gingerly fingered the baby's thick
red hair that the nurse had brushed and oiled into a fat top
curl. She inspected his little feet, admired his tiny ears, and
planted kisses on his dimpled elbow. But her coos stopped
short at his wrist.
Drawing back, she pointed at the identification bracelet and
frowned, "Look, Mommy. They left the price tag on!"
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
"George is so forgetful," the sales manager complained
to his secretary. "It's a wonder he can sell and I'm not
sure he'll even remember to come back."
Just then the door flew open, and in bounced George.
"You'll never guess what happened!" he shouted.
"While I was at lunch, I met Old Man Brown, who hasn't
bought anything from us for five years. Well, we got to
talking and he gave me this half-million dollar order!"
"See," sighed the sales manager to his secretary. "I told
you he'd forget the sandwiches."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A reporter from New York was visiting an old colleague who
now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town.
"I don't see how you do it," the NY reporter said.
"How can you drum up interest in the news when everybody in
town knows what everybody else is doing?"
"Sure they know," the editor said,
"but they read the paper to see who got caught at it."
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Cory Hinsch, 24,
Pensacola,
Floriduh
Florida man asks cops to arrest him
for child porn
A Florida man walked into a Pensacola police precinct and asked
to be arrested for downloading images of child porn onto his
phone, cops say.
Cory Hinsch, 24, walked into the police station Friday afternoon
and told a front desk officer that he “needed to be taken to jail
because he had downloaded child pornography on his cell phone,”
according to a November 9 Pensacola Police Department report.
Hinsch then “placed his cell phone up to the glass at the
counter” and displayed an illicit image of a young girl that was
stored on the phone.
During a subsequent interview with investigators, Hinsch
reportedly admitted downloading the child porn images from the
“dark web” via a “Tor browser app” on his phone.
A police examination of Hinsch’s phone revealed two images of
young girls engaging in sexual activity.
Hinsch was arrested on two counts of possession of child
pornography. He was booked into the Escambia County jail, where
he remained locked up until Tuesday, when he posted $10,000 bond.
Bill
Re: Eudora now showing attachments on W10
Dear Webby
You are a genius! I spent a week looking for answers in various
support groups because I hate to always be bothering you. I
should have asked you first. Your solution works like a charm.
Thank you.
Bill
Dear Bill
You are most welcome!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while
both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer
each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of
winter, usually late November to mid-December.
Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth
in the spring.
Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting
Santa's reindeer, every single one of them - from Rudolph to
Blitzen - had to be a girl.
We should've known.
Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet
suit all around the world in one night, not ask for directions,
and not get lost.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his
sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden
of Eden. One of the boys asked, "What's that?"
Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out of
house and home."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Disguising Gifts for Curious Kids
Assign a number for each person in your family and then put
the number on the presents instead of a name. That way,
children won't go rummaging through presents to see which
presents are theirs. When it is time to open gifts, tell
everyone what their number is.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Your daily dose of internet.
|
___________________________________________________
“I’ve never flown before, said the nervous
old lady to the pilot. “You will bring me
down safely, won’t you?
“All I can say ma’am,” said the pilot, “is
that I’ve never left anyone up there yet!”
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
An angel suddenly appears at a faculty meeting and tells
the dean of the college that, in return for his unselfish
and exemplary behavior, he will be given his choice of
infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty. Without hesitating,
the dean selects infinite wisdom.
"Done!" says the angel and disappears in a cloud of
smoke and a bolt of lightning.
Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded
by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues
whispers, "Say something wise."
The dean looks at them and says,
"I should have taken the money."
Today November 17 in
1558 Elizabeth I ascended the English throne upon the death of
Queen Mary Tudor.
1603 Sir Walter Raleigh went on trial for treason.
1796 Catherine the Great of Russia died at the age of 67.
1798 Irish nationalist leader Wolfe Tone committed suicide while
in jail awaiting execution.
1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean
and the Red sea.
1880 The first three British female graduates received their
Bachelor of Arts degrees from London University.
1903 Russia's Social Democrats officially split into two groups
Bolsheviks and Mensheviks.
1904 The first underwater submarine journey was taken, from
Southampton, England, to the Isle of Wight.
1913 The steamship Louise became the first ship to travel through
the Panama Canal.
1913 In Germany, Kaiser Wilhelm banned the armed forces from
dancing the tango.
1922 Siberia voted for union with the U.S.S.R.
1968 NBC cut away from the final minutes of a New York Jets-
Oakland Raiders game to begin a TV special, "Heidi," on schedule.
The Raiders came from behind to beat the Jets 43-32.
1970 The Soviet Union landed an unmanned, remote-controlled
vehicle on the moon, the Lunokhod 1. The vehicle was released by
Luna 17.
1973 U.S. President Nixon told an Associated Press managing
editors meeting in Orlando, FL, "people have got to know whether
or not their president is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook."
1979 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini ordered the release of 13 female
and black American hostages being held at the U.S. Embassy in
Tehran.
1988 Benazir Bhutto became the first woman leader of an Islamic
country. She was elected in the first democratic elections in
Pakistan in 11 years.
1990 A mass grave was discovered by the bridge over the River
Kwai in Thailand. The bodies were believed to be those of World
War II prisoners of war.
1990 The Soviet government agreed to change the country's
constitution.
1997 62 people were killed by 6 Islamic militants outside the
Temple of Hatshepsut in Luxor, Egypt. The attackers were killed
by police.
1997 Mario Lemieux was voted into the NHL Hall of Fame.
2001 "Toys "R" Us Times Square The Center of the Toy Universe"
opened in New York City.
2006 Sony's PlayStation 3 went on sale in the United States.
2010 Reasearchers trapped 38 antihydrogen atoms. It was the first
time humans had trapped antimatter.
2018 smiled.
|
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Eudora has attachment problems with new W10 Friday, November 16, 2018, 10:24 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, November 16
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Homeless man and N.J. couple
concocted story for GoFundMe fundraiser
______________________________________________________
Today, November 16 in
1969 The U.S. Army announced that several had been charged with
massacre and the subsequent cover-up in the My Lai massacre in
Vietnam on March 16, 1968, that was photographed by a left-wing
anti-war "reporter" embedded with the troops. The photo became
quite famous and hurt the Vietnam war as much as Hanoi Jane did.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes
are so small.
--- Henry Kissinger (1923 - )
This is patently absurd; but whoever wishes to become a
philosopher must learn not to be frightened by absurdities.
--- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
"I know that you believe that you understood what you think
I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is
not what I meant."
--- Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the
word you first thought of.
--- Burt Bacharach
______________________________________________________
One of the first things you learn on your honeymoon is,
when you're carrying your bride over the threshold, always
go in sideways -- unless of course two broken ankles and a
concussion turn you on.
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The government will be requiring new food labels that are
more specific. Products will now be labeled, no fat, low
fat, reduced fat and fat, but great personality.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A young woman sat in her stalled car, waiting for help.
Finally, two men walked up to her. "I'm out of gas," she
purred. "Could you push me to the gas station?"
The men readily put their muscles to the car and rolled it
several blocks. After a while, one looked up, exhausted,
to see that they had just passed a gas station.
"We just passed a station! How come you didn't turn in?"
he yelled.
"Oh, I never go there," the girl shouted back. "They don't
have full service."
______________________________________________________
Re Yesterday's picture:
The picture for Nov 15 looks a lot like my first car, a 1928?
Model A Ford Sedan. Bought it near Crown Point Oregon where I was
logging, fixed it up to run and drove it around Portland when I
was in high school. Lots of interesting adventures. The paint was
in better condition though.
Clyde
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Kate McClure, right,
McClure's boyfriend Mark D'Amico
in jail in New Jersey,
Johnny Bobbitt Jr., left,
UNder a bridge, somewhere.
Homeless man and N.J. couple
concocted story for GoFundMe fundraiser
Couple Mark D'Amico and Kate McClure and homeless man Johnny
Bobbitt Jr. are expected to face charges that include conspiracy
and theft by deception.
A New Jersey couple accused of scamming a homeless good Samaritan
out of hundreds of thousands of dollars as part of an online
fundraiser that went viral a year ago had initially conspired
with him to concoct a "fictitious story," prosecutors allege.
A complaint obtained by NBC Philadelphia says couple Mark D'Amico
and Kate McClure made up a GoFundMe campaign in honor of Johnny
Bobbitt Jr. so that all three could raise money by deceiving
generous donors. They kept up the ruse by preventing donors from
acquiring information that would affect their judgment about the
campaign and "by failing to correct their story," the complaint
added.
The three are expected to face charges that include conspiracy
and theft by deception, a source familiar with the case told NBC
Philadelphia, adding that D'Amico and McClure surrendered to
authorities on Wednesday.
Ernest Badway, an attorney for D'Amico and McClure, told NBC News
he had no comment early Thursday.
Chris Fallon, an attorney for Bobbitt, could not immediately be
reached for comment.
The initially feel-good tale began last fall when Bobbitt, a
homeless Marine veteran, gave McClure his last $20 after she ran
out of gas on a freeway ramp in Philadelphia, she said. Moved by
the gesture, McClure and D'Amico started a GoFundMe campaign for
Bobbitt.
"Johnny did not ask me for a dollar, and I couldn't repay him at
that moment because I didn't have any cash, but I have been
stopping by his spot for the past few weeks," McClure wrote in
her post.
Bobbitt's kindness drew donations from more than 14,000 people
and earned him $402,000. The outpouring, in turn, touched the
couple: "He will never have to worry about a roof over his head
again!!" they later posted on GoFundMe while thanking "everyone
who had a part of this amazing ride."
Bobbit claimed that of the $402,000 he just got $25,000 and that
D'Amico and McClure spent the rest on a brand new BMW, vacations
and jewelry.
Police have since then confiscated some of the loot.
Bill
Re: Eudora not showing attachments on W10
Dear Webby
I have recently upgraded to Windows 10 because my W7 died. The
OS is installed on a new SSD. Since that time, Eudora 7
attachments will not work, e.g. pdf or wmv files. If I send these
emails to Gmail, the attachments will open normally. It appears
that W10 can't find the attachments. I have searched for an
answer, but to date have been unsuccessful. I know that you can
help resolve this problem.
Thanks.
Bill
Dear Bill
You can tell Eudora where to stash attachments.
Instead of some hard to find directory way down somewhere, tell
it to put them into C:\att
and of course make that directory.
You may still have to go in there occasionally and snug up file
names, that have empty spaces in them.
You may also have to set default programs to open wmf and pdf.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them were
talking about the amount of control they have over their wives,
while the third remained quiet.
After a while one of the first two turned to the third and said,
"Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your
wife?"
The third fellow said, "I'll tell you -- just the other night my
wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed. "Wow! What happened then?"
they asked.
The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and
uttered, "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a
man.'"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group
of medical students.
"As you can see," she says, "the patient limps because his
left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Michael, what
would you do in a case like this?"
"Well," ponders the student, "I suppose I'd limp too."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Removing a Nail That Has Lost Its Head
When the nail head breaks off a nail, it can be tough to
get the claw of the hammer to grip the nail. To remove
the nail, slip the claw of the hammer over the remainder
of the nail and then pull the nail out by moving the hammer
sideways instead of straight out.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Your daily dose of internet.
|
___________________________________________________
During a Biology class, the teacher asked the class, "Why
is it that during childhood girls tend to grow taller than guys?"
A student replied, "That's because guys have balls and that
weighs them down."
The teacher, quite annoyed, responded, "Then why is it that
at maturity guys tend to grow taller than girls?"
The student countered by saying, "That's because girls get
breasts and they are heavier than the guy's balls."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined.
The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married ?"
"Yes, sir, once" said the witness in a low voice.
"Whom did you marry?"
"Well, a woman."
The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman !
Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man ?"
And the witness said meekly, "MY mother did."
Today November 16 in
1776 British troops captured Fort Washington during the American
Revolution.
1885 Canadian rebel Louis Riel was executed for high treason.
1915 Coca-Cola had its prototype for a contoured bottle patented.
The bottle made its commercial debut the next year.
1933 The United States and the Soviet Union established
diplomatic relations for the first time.
1952 In the Peanuts comic strip, Lucy first pretended to hold a
football for Charlie Brown.
1966 Dr. Samuel H. Sheppard was acquitted in his second trial of
charges he had murdered his pregnant wife, Marilyn, in 1954.
1969 The U.S. Army announced that several had been charged with
massacre and the subsequent cover-up in the My Lai massacre in
Vietnam on March 16, 1968, that was photographed by a left-wing
anti-war "reporter" embedded with the troops. The photo became
quite famous and hurt the Vietnam war as much as Hanoi Jane did.
1973 Skylab 3 carrying a crew of three astronauts, was launched
from Cape Canaveral, FL, on an 84-day mission.
1973 U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure into
law. The Alaska pipeline is still working perfectly well, even
though a major earthquake knocked the pipe off a bunch of
pillars. They just lifted it back up.
Bears still like walking on the pipeline.
1981 A vaccine for hepatitis B was approved. The vaccine had been
developed at Merck Institute for Therapeutic Research.
1985 Colonel Oliver North was put in charge of the shipment of
HAWK anti-aircraft missiles to Iran.
1988 Estonia's parliament declared that the Baltic republic
"sovereign," but stopped short of complete independence.
1997 China released Wei Jingsheng, a pro-democracy dissident from
jail for medical reasons. He had been incarcerated for almost 18
years.
1998 In Burlington, WIsconsin, five high school students, aged 15
to 16, were arrested in an alleged plot to kill a carefully
selected group of teachers and students.
1998 It was announced that Monica Lewinsky had signed a deal for
the North American rights to a book about her affair with U.S.
President Clinton.
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court said that union members could file
discrimination lawsuits against employers even when labor
contracts require arbitration.
1999 Chrica Adams, the pregnant girlfriend of Rae Carruth, was
shot four times in her car. She died a month later from her
wounds. The baby survived. Carruth was sentenced to a minimum of
18 years and 11 months in prison for his role in the murder.
2000 Bill Clinton became the first serving U.S. president to
visit Communist Vietnam.
2001 The movie "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" opened
in the U.S. and U.K.
2004 A NASA unmanned "scramjet" (X-43A) reached a speed of nearly
10 times the speed of sound above the Pacific Ocean.
2018 smiled.
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Thursday, November 15, 2018, 12:56 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday November 15
I am chipped now.
To take a glucose reading I wave the recorder near my left arm.
It takes the data wirelessly, tells me if it is going up, down,
sideways, up or down fast, and puts the data into a graph.
Once a week I connect the recorder (credit card size but as thick
as your Sillyphone) to a USB port and upload the data to the PCN
(Pretty Cute Nurse)
Then she nags me via email if the glucose level was too high at
any time.
The only time I have to poke my finger the old fashioned way is
if the graph shows an unbelievable jag.
I still have to inject insulin the old fashioned way. No WiFi for
that, yet.
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
British mum secretly hoarded Ł240,000 of
cocaine, some in daughter's Kinder eggs
______________________________________________________
Today, November 15 in
1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that
became known as Pikes Peak.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
At 18 our convictions are hills from which we look;
At 45 they are caves in which we hide.
--- F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)
Most people want to be delivered from temptation
but would like it to keep in touch.
--- Robert Orben
______________________________________________________
When Jill decided to improve her computer skills, she threw
herself into it with enthusiasm. Every week she'd check out
two or three instructional books from the library.
After about a month the librarian commented, "Wow! You must
really be getting knowledgeable at this stuff."
"Thanks," Jill said. "What makes you say that?"
The librarian answered, "Only one of the books you're checking
out this week has 'For Dummies' in the title."
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Two sisters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at
their Church. At dinner that night, they got into an argument
as to who had the most important role.
Finally the 12-year-old said to her 8-year-old younger sister,
"Well, you just ask Mom. She'll tell you it's much harder to
be a virgin than it is to be an angel!"
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dave for bringing back this classic:
One evening after dinner, a five-year-old boy noticed that
his mother had gone out and he asked his father,
"Where did Mommy go?"
In answer to his question, he was told, "Mommy is at a
Tupperware party."
This explanation satisfied him for only a moment.
Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Daddy?"
The man had always given his son honest answers,
so he figured a simple explanation would be the best
approach. "Well, son," he said, "at a Tupperware party,
a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to
each other."
He nodded, indicating that he understood this curious
pastime.
Then he burst out into laughter and said,
"Come on, Dad! What is it really?"
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Clare Tague, 32,
Manchester,
Britain
British mum secretly hoarded Ł240,000 of
cocaine, some in daughter's Kinder eggs
A mum-of-one hoarded Ł240,000 worth of cocaine in her bedroom
after finding it on a walk near her home then led a secret
double life to hide it from her boyfriend and daughter. Clare
Tague, 32, who has been jailed for six years, even hid some of
the cocaine in her 11-year-old's Kinder egg boxes. The 1.2kg
stash had been dumped in a field near Tague's home in Clayton,
Manchester, and after she was rumbled she told police: 'I found
it on the field and was going to sell it on for money why
didn't I just leave it where it was.'
Police got a tip off she was hoarding the drugs and last May
seized the haul during a raid on her home. Tague claimed she had
planned to sell the drugs to pay off gambling debts and during
the raid police found four mobile phones and a list of 'figures'
among shopping lists. Manchester Crown Court heard Tague had
stashed snap bags inside 10 Kinder eggs at a street value of
Ł2,000 to Ł5,000. Prosecuting, Alison Heyworth said: 'A number of
bags and packages of cocaine were recovered from their bedroom.
Three packages of cocaine were found there. 'Two blocks were
found wrapped in tissue paper. 'The compressed blocks of cocaine
were likely to be sold in bulk and could range in value between
Ł4,000 and Ł50,000.'
She added that an Asda bag found in Tague's wardrobe contained
another six blocks of cocaine at 61% purity, ranging from 124g to
349g. 'This had a value range of Ł18,000 to Ł75,000,' the
prosecutor said.
Tague was arrested alongside her partner during the raid on May
18 but she pulled one officer aside and indicated that her
partner didn't know about the bags. 'She said why didn't I just
leave it where it was. I found it on the field and was going to
sell it on for money ,' Ms Heyworth told the court. 'They found
further plastic bags under the bin bag in the bin including 80
snap bags. 'These were ready to be sold on directly and had a
value worth of Ł3,000 to Ł7,000.'
The total value of cocaine found at Tague's home valued between
Ł28,000 and Ł238,000, she said. Defence lawyer Rachel White told
the court that Tague had always worked but after her father's
death she became depressed and developed a gambling addiction.
'This was all to try to get rid of the debt,' she said. 'There is
no evidence of a lavish lifestyle and she didn't drag her partner
into the proceedings.'
Ed
Re: Mouse Driver
Dear Webby
I followed your advice and got a Logitech wireless 7 button
mouse. It came with a CD for the drivers. Unfortunately, this old
klunker does not have a working CD drive anymore. Now what?
Ed
Dear Ed
Just plug the little wirless transceiver into a USB port.
Windows has the basic drivers for it and will install them.
Then Logitech will show up in the start panel and you can go
in there and customize the settings.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Sandie for this one:
A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy
two servings per night and a few more on weekends, I
consume 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which
equals to one pound of weight per week.
Therefore, in the last three and a half years, I have had a
chocolate caloric intake of about 180 pounds. I only weigh
165 pounds, so without chocolate, I would have wasted away
to nothing about three months ago.
I owe my life to chocolate!
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Thanks to Roland for this:
One little punctuation mark would have made a world of
difference in the gigantic sign I saw posted outside a
local family restaurant:
"Kids Under 12 Eat Free Live Clown Every Wednesday."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Softening Brown Sugar
Put a slice of bread in a bag of brown sugar that has become
hard and then seal the bag. The brown sugar will soften
within a couple of days, then discard the bread. In a hurry,
just grate the clumps using a hand grater or put in the
microwave for a few seconds.
Brown sugar is not raw sugar. Ancient laws require all sugar to
be fully refined. It is simply flavored and moistened with a bit
of molasses.
DearWebby
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
I love beautiful parks.
|
___________________________________________________
A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained
weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend,
she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner.
The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half,
until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to
another, and soon the whole cake was gone.
The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with her
lack of willpower, and how she knew her husband would be
disappointed. Everyone commiserated, until someone asked
what her husband said when he found out.
She smiled. "He never found out.
I made another cake and ate half!"
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
A little boy, excited about his part in the Christmas play
at school, came home and shouted, "I got a part in the
Christmas play! I got a part in the Christmas play!"
"What part did you get?" asked his mother excitedly.
"I'm one of the three wise guys!"
Today November 15 in
1777 The Continental Congress approved the Articles of
Confederation, precursor to the U.S. Constitution.
1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that became
known as Pikes Peak.
1864 Union Gen. William T. Sherman and his troops began their
"March to the Sea" during the U.S. Civil War.
1867 the first stock ticker was unveiled in New York City.
1889 Brazil's monarchy was overthrown.
1901 Miller Reese patented an electrical hearing aid.
1902 Anarchist Gennaro Rubin failed in his attempt to murder King
Leopold II of Belgium.
1920 The League of Nations met for the first time in Geneva,
Switzerland.
1926 The National Broadcasting Co. (NBC) debuted with a radio
network of 24 stations. The first network radio broadcast was a
four-hour "spectacular."
1940 The first 75,000 men were called to Armed Forces duty under
peacetime conscription.
1965 The Soviet probe, Venera 3, was launched from Baikonur,
Kazakhstan. On March 1, 1966, it became the first unmanned
spacecraft to reach the surface of another planet when it crashed
on Venus.
1966 The flight of Gemini 12 ended successfully as astronauts
James A. Lovell and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin Jr. splashed down safely
in the Atlantic Ocean.
1969 In Washington, DC, a quarter of a million protesters staged
a demonstration against the Vietnam War.
1985 Britain and Ireland signed an accord giving Dublin an
official consultative role in governing Northern Ireland.
1986 A government tribunal in Nicaragua convicted American Eugene
Hasenfus of charges related to his role in delivering arms to
Contra rebels. He was sentenced to 30 years in prison and was
pardoned a month later.
1986 Ivan F. Boesky, reputed to be the highest-paid person on
Wall Street, faced penalties of $100 million for insider stock
trading. It was the highest penalty ever imposed by the SEC.
1988 The Palestine National Council, the legislative body of the
PLO, proclaimed the establishment of an independent Palestinian
state at the close of a four-day conference in Algiers.
1992 Richard Petty drove in the final race of his 35-year career.
1993 A judge in Mineola, NY, sentenced Joey Buttafuoco to six
months in jail for the statutory rape of Amy Fisher. Fisher was
serving a prison sentence for shooting and wounding Buttafuoco's
wife, Mary Jo.
1995 Texaco agreed to pay $176 million to settle a race-
discrimination lawsuit.
1999 Representatives from China and the United States signed a
major trade agreement that involved China's membership in the
World Trade Organization (WTO).
2000 Three police officers from the Rampart division of the Los
Angeles police department were convicted on several counts of
conspiracy to obstruct justice. One other officer was acquitted.
The case was the first major case against the anti-gang unit.
2005 In Amiens, France, Isabelle Dinoire became the first person
to undergo a partial face transplant. She had been attacked by a
dog earlier in the year.
2006 Andy Warhol's painting of Communist Party Chairman Mao
Zedong sold for $17.4 million. At the same auction "Orange
Marilyn" sold for $16.2 million and "Sixteen Jackies" sold for
$15.6 million.
2018 smiled.
|
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Wednesday, November 14, 2018, 10:37 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday November 14
Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Tinder date in Ponte Vedra leads to
home invasion, police chase.
Crooks rammed and stopped by cops.
______________________________________________________
Today, November 14 in
1889 New York World reporter Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochrane)
began an attempt to surpass the fictitious journey of Jules
Verne's Phileas Fogg by traveling around the world in less than
80 days. Bly succeeded by finishing the journey the following
January in 72 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and
wealthy and dead.
--- James Thurber (1894 - 1961)
______________________________________________________
Marv, a local cop, recently stopped a woman for exceeding
the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name.
She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislanyatv Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya
from the Republic of Uzbekistan, visiting my daughter."
Marv put away his summons book and pen, and said,
"Well, uhhh, ok, but don't let me catch you speeding again."
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Connie for this:
If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep
for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.
Then take a dump in the woods. I could deal with that, too.
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out
of line, you swat them into next week. I could deal with that.
If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.
He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
I wanna be a bear.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
When the pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would
like to express Praise for answered prayers, a lady stood
and walked to the podium.
She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband
Jim had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely
crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know
if they could help him."
You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation
as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced.
She continued, "Jim was unable to hold me or the children and
every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors
performed a delica te operation. They were able to piece together
the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it
to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as
they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim.
She continued, "Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors
say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with relief.
The pastor rose and tentatively asked if any one else had
anything to say.
A man rose, walked to the podium, and said,
"I'm Jim, and I want to tell my wife - once again -
the word is STERNUM."
______________________________________________________
Soapy Smith ?
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Michael Eric Wheeler, 26,
Lexus Joshlin Tripplett, 20,
Ponte Vedra,
Florida
Tinder date in Ponte Vedra leads to
home invasion, police chase.
Crooks rammed and stopped by cops.
Facebook
A Ponte Vedra resident was restrained and robbed during a home
invasion that originated as a Tinder date, the St. Johns County
Sheriff's Office said.
The victim had arranged for a female to come to his house, but a
male subject appeared and pointed a gun at him and began taking
items, deputies said.
The victim was tied up with bed sheets, pushed under a bed and
gagged with a shirt so he couldn't scream for help, deputies
said. He was forced to give up his bank account information, the
report said.
Before the victim freed himself, the two suspects were already
using his bank accounts.
The suspects were quickly identified as Michael Eric Wheeler, 26,
and Lexus Joshlin Tripplett, 20, and located in a nearby park.
Wheeler is a convicted felon, deputies said. He's charged with
kidnapping, resisting arrest and robbery.
"Deputies approached the suspects, who then turn fled and
attempted to lead deputies into a vehicle pursuit. Due to the
seriousness of the charges and the belief that the subjects may
be involved in other violent crimes from outside of our
jurisdiction, deputies rammed the suspect car against several
trees, stopping their attempted escape."
Wheeler is being held on a $650,000 bond, while Tripplett faces a
$350,000 bond.
From: Elsie
Re: Wired or wireless mouse?
Dear Webby
What is better, a wired or a wireless mouse?
Elsie
Dear Elsie
A wired 5 button mouse (with copy and paste!) is $50 cheaper than
a similar mouse that is wireless.
With the wireless mouse you have to keep buying batteries.
The disadvantage of the wired mouse is that the cable gets
snagged and you kock stuff over or off the desk.
Today's wireless mice don't eat batteries like they used to 15 or
20 years ago. They are quite frugal now.
I have a Logitech wireless 5 button mouse and a Microsoft wired 5
button mouse. The Logitech wireless mouse is aboout 7 years old,
the Microsoft wired 5 button mouse is about 3 years old.
The Microsoft mouse has gotten a bit unpredictable, especially
the left button. Overall, the quality of the mouse is not quite
the same as the Logitech mouse.
Yes, I know, Microsoft does dot MAKE the mouse, they just get
their cut for lending their name. However, the mouse they chose
to market, is definitely a lower quality than the Logitech 5
button mouse.
I have used 5 button mice since the mid 90's, using side buttons
for copy and paste, and depressing the wheel for ENTER. Using a
three button mouse from the Dollar Store is painful!
Actually, my mice have 7 buttons. The wheel tilts for horizontal
scrolling, but I never use that feature, or almost never. If it
did not have horizontal scrolling, I would not miss it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Two dogs were walking down the street. The one
dog says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be
right back." He walks across the street and sniffs
this fire hydrant for about a minute, then walks
back across the street.
The other dog says, "What was that about?"
The dog first dog says, "Oh, I was just checking my
p-mail."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
A Man Walked By A Table In A Hotel And Noticed
Three Men And A Dog Playing Cards. The Dog
Was Playing With Extraordinary Performance.
"This Is A Very Smart Dog," The Man Commented.
"Not So Smart," Said One Of The Players. "Every Time
He Gets A Good Hand, He Wags His Tail."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Add Cinnamon Baby's Breath To Greenery
Tuck cinnamon-scented baby's breath among your holiday
greenery, in wreathes, between the Christmas tree branches,
in garlands, etc. It's lovely burgundy color and delicate form
spruces up any arrangement. It can be purchased at most
craft stores and is inexpensive.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Autumn in New England
|
___________________________________________________
The philosophy professor teaching a course my friend
was taking warned the class he was going to give them
a test.
When the day came he entered the classroom, wordlessly
placed his chair on the table and, turning to the blackboard,
wrote, "Prove to me this chair does not exist."
Most of the nervous students began intently scribbling out
long dissertations. But one member of the class wrote down
just two words, and then handed his paper to the teacher.
The professor had to smile when he read the student's answer:
"What chair?"
He got an A
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
>From Elsinore
When I was 28, I was teaching English to high school
freshmen in a school where occasionally the faculty and
staff were allowed to dress down.
One of those days I donned a sweatshirt and slacks.
A student came in and his eyes widened. "Wow!" he
exclaimed. "You should wear clothes like that every day.
You look twenty, maybe even thirty years younger!"
Today November 14 in
1832 The first streetcar went into operation in New York City,
NY. The vehicle was horse-drawn and had room for 30 people.
1851 Herman Melville's novel "Moby Dick" was first published in
the U.S.
1881 Charles J. Guiteau's trial began for the assassination of
U.S. President Garfield. Guiteau was convicted and hanged the
following year.
1889 New York World reporter Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochrane)
began an attempt to surpass the fictitious journey of Jules
Verne's Phileas Fogg by traveling around the world in less than
80 days. Bly succeeded by finishing the journey the following
January in 72 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes.
1922 The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) began domestic
radio service.
1935 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed the
Philippine Islands a free commonwealth after its new constitution
was approved. The Tydings-McDuffie Act planned for the
Phillipines to be completely independent by July 4, 1946.
1940 During World War II, German war planes destroyed most of the
English town of Coventry when about 500 Luftwaffe bombers
attacked.
1951 The first telecast of a world lightweight title fight was
seen coast to coast. Jimmy Carter beat Art Aragon in Los Angeles.
1956 The USSR crushed the Hungarian uprising with tanks.
1968 Yale University announced it was going co-educational.
1969 Apollo 12 blasted off for the moon from Cape Kennedy, FL.
1969 During the Vietnam War, Major General Bruno Arthur Hochmuth,
commander of the Third Marine Division, became the first general
to be killed in Vietnam by enemy fire.
1972 The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above the 1,000
(1,003.16) level for the first time.
1972 Blue Ribbon Sports became Nike.
1973 Britain's Princess Anne married a commoner, Capt. Mark
Phillips, in Westminster Abbey. They divorced in 1992, and
Princess Anne re-married.
1979 U.S. President Carter froze all Iranian assets in the United
States and U.S. banks abroad in response to the taking of 63
American hostages at the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran.
1983 The British government announced that U.S.-made cruise
missiles had arrived at the Greenham Common air base amid
protests.
1988 Israeli President Chaim Herzog formally asked Prime Minister
Yitzhak Shamir to form a new government.
1989 The U.S. Navy ordered an unprecedented 48-hour stand-down in
the wake of a recent string of serious accidents.
1990 Simon and Schuster announced it had dropped plans to publish
Bret Easton Ellis novel "American Psycho."
1991 After 13 years in exile Cambodian Prince Norodom Sihanouk
returned to his homeland.
1994 U.S. experts visited North Korea's main nuclear complex for
the first time under an accord that opened such sites to outside
inspections.
1995 The U.S. government instituted a partial shutdown, closing
national parks and museums while most government offices operated
with skeleton crews.
2012 The game Candy Crush Saga was released as a mobile app for
smartphones.
2018 smiled.
|
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Tuesday, November 13, 2018, 12:26 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday November 13
Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Yet again, an ICE detainer was ignored and
a dangerous criminal alien was released to
the streets and is now charged with killing
three people.
______________________________________________________
Today, November 13 in
1805 Johann George Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a sausage
recipe and called it the "Frankfurter." Frankfurt was deemed a
modern and progressive town. In Frankfurt,that sausage was called
"The Wiener". In Northamerica it is called "European Wiener"
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
I think that I shall never see
a billboard lovely as a tree.
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all.
--- Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971)
______________________________________________________
Nancy was studying to be a counselor always went
into her counseling sessions with an ear muff over one ear.
After a while the supervisor became very curious
and asked her about it.
She replied, "It's for confidentiality."
"Confidentiality?" asked the bewildered supervisor.
"Yes, confidentiality," Nancy explained, "I've been told what
goes in one of my ears comes out the other, and I don't
want anyone else knowing what my client says."
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A man had a ticket for the theater but when he was seated by the
usher, he found that he was too far from the stage.
He whispered to the usher, "This is a mystery play, and I have to
watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give
you
a handsome tip."
The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the
usher a quarter.
The usher looks at the quarter, frowns at him, then leans over
and whispers, "The wife did it".
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A sweet 6 year-old girl is sitting on Santa's Lap in a department
store. Santa asks the young child "And what do you want for
Christmas?"
The sweet girl looks into Santa's eyes, and says with disgust,
"Hey, didn't you read my E-mail?"
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Middlesex County Jail
New Jersey
Luis Rodrigo Perez, 23,
Mexican
Yet again, an ICE detainer was ignored and
a dangerous criminal alien was released to
the streets and is now charged with killing
three people.
“Yet again, an ICE detainer was ignored and a dangerous criminal
alien was released to the streets and is now charged with killing
three people,” Price said. “Had ICE’s detainer request in
December 2017 been honored by Middlesex County Jail, Luis Rodrigo
Perez would have been placed in deportation proceedings and
likely sent home to his country – and three innocent people might
be alive today.
"It is past time that localities realize the perils of dangerous
sanctuary policies and resume their primary goal of protecting
their residents," Price added.
In an email to the Associated Press, Middlesex County officials
said the detainer wasn't honored because it didn’t meet their
criteria.
Missouri law enforcement officials believe Perez and Aaron
Anderson, 19, killed their ex-roommates Steven Marler, 38, and
Aaron Hampton, 23, after they were kicked out of their
Springfield home.
Perez is also accused of killing a 21-year-old Sabrina Starr the
next day at her house. He is charged with eight felony counts in
the shootings.
Anderson told investigators he was waiting with Starr in an SUV
outside Hampton and Marler’s home when Perez shot them, adding
that he could hear the victims begging for their lives while on
the phone with Perez.
He was charged as an accomplice to first-degree murder and three
other felonies.
Perez’s girlfriend, Dalia Garcia, 23, is charged with tampering
with evidence after she allegedly rode a bus from New Jersey to
help burn evidence.
From: Helen
Re: Laptop getting hot
Dear Webby
My laptop feels hotter and hotter on my lap.
What do I have to do?
Helen
Dear Helen
The machinery did not change, it just got dirty.
You have to, either yourself or get soebody else to do it,
open it up and vacuum it out.
Especially when used on your lap, it sucks in all kinds of cozy
fluff, That interferes with the cooling.
You need a phillips screwdriver and a vacuum cleaner with a
crewvice attachment. An empty jam jar is also handy for keeping
the removed screws in. Some Q-tips and windex may also be handy.
Shut it down, but don't necessarily unplug anything. The charging
cable will ground it and stop you from zapping it.
Turn it upside down and remove all screws that you can see.
Put the screws into the jam jar, so that they don't roll away or
get vacuumed up.
Once you have removed all the screws, you can \separate the top
and bottom of the laptop.
Once you have the top and bottom separated, you see the big mess.
Use the vacuum cleaner to clean everything without quite
touching anything.
If you see any heatsinks or fans, clean them with a Q-tip and
Windex or anything like that.
Assemble it again and put the screws back in.
That's all there is to it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
John had been playing golf for years, and he had the finest
equipment, but his technique never improved a bit. As his
friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly
drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole, he
drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a
new ball in another part of the woods.
"Why don't you use an old ball?" his friend asked.
"I've never had an old ball," he said.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
A Chinese couple while working in a Chinese restaurant,
fall in love and get married - and she's a virgin.
On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed
sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her
and tries to be reassuring: "My darling, I know dis you firs
time and you bery frighten. I promise you, I give you anyting
you wann, I do anyting you wann.... What you wann?"
"I wann have numma 69" she replies.
He looks at her very puzzled and says,
"You wann . Beef with Bloccoli?"
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Make Your Own Logs
If you have a wood burning stove and receive the daily paper,
you can make your own newspaper logs. Lay newspapers
flat and roll it into 3 inch diameter logs then wrap metal
wire around the finished log. The tighter you can roll the
paper, the longer the "logs" will burn.
You will wind up with a lot of ash, that you
have to vacuum out, otherwise it will "blind" the grate and
interfere with air flow. Also, keep in mind that when paper is
burned without plenty of heat and air, you produce toxic
pollutants, and not really very much heat.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Your daily dose of internet.
|
___________________________________________________
Woman phones up her husband at work for a chat.
HIM "I'm sorry dear but I'm up to my neck in work today."
HER "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you
dear."
HIM "OK darling, but as I've got no time now, just give me the
good news."
HER "Well, the air bag works."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Bubba's sister is pregnant and is in a bad car accident, which
caused her to fall into a deep coma. After nearly six months, she
awakens and sees that she is no longer pregnant.
Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor
replies, "
Ma'am, you had twins -- a boy and a girl. The babies are fine.
Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh, no! Not Bubba; he's an idiot!"
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the
girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor answers.
The new mother thinks, "Wow! That's a beautiful name! I guess I
was wrong about my brother. I really like the name Denise."
Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor replies, "Denephew."
Today November 13 in
1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured
Montreal.
1789 Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to a friend in which he
said, "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except
death and taxes."
1805 Johann George Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a sausage
recipe and called it the "Frankfurter." Frankfurt was deemed a
modern and progressive town. In Frankfurt,that sausage was called
"The Wiener". In Northamerica it is called "European Wiener"
1927 The Holland Tunnel opened to the public, providing access
between New York City and New Jersey beneath the Hudson River.
1933 In Austin, MN, the first sit-down labor strike in America
took place.
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a measure
lowering the minimum draft age from 21 to 18.
1956 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws calling for racial
segregation on public buses.
1971 The U.S. spacecraft Mariner 9 became the first spacecraft to
orbit another planet, Mars.
1982 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was dedicated in Washington,
DC.
1984 A libel suit against Time, Inc. by former Israeli Defense
Minister Ariel Sharon went to trial in New York.
1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan publicly acknowledged that the
U.S. had sent "defensive weapons and spare parts" to Iran. He
denied that the shipments were sent to free hostages, but that
they had been sent to improve relations.
1994 Sweden voted to join the European Union.
1998 Monica Lewinsky signed a deal with St. Martin's Press for
the North American rights to her story about her affair with U.S.
President Bill Clinton.
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed an executive order that
would allow for military tribunals to try any foreigners captured
with connections to the terrorist attacks on the United States on
September 11, 2001. It was the first time since World War II that
a president had taken such action.
2006 A deal was finalized for Google Inc. to acquire YouTube for
$1.65 million in Google stock.
2009 NASA announced that water had been discoved on the moon. The
discovery came from the planned impact on the moon of the Lunar
Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS).
2018 smiled.
|
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Monday, November 12, 2018, 09:19 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, November 12
Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Troopers seize $1.3 million in marijuana
during Olmsted Falls traffic stop
______________________________________________________
Today, November 12 in
1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard
at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of
the garment that is named after him.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others.
--- Jules Renard (1864 - 1910)
Anybody who has doubts about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one.
--- George Meany
Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody
agrees that it is old enough to know better.
--- Socratex
______________________________________________________
Pun Alert !
Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several
paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime,
breaking in, evading security and escaping with the goods, he
was captured only two blocks away when his rented van ran out
of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then
make such an obvious error, he replied:
"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
While working as a mall Santa, I had many children
ask for electric trains. "If you get a train," I would tell
each one, "you know your dad is going to want to
play with it too. Is that okay?"
The usual answer was a quick yes.
But after I asked one boy this question, he became
very quiet. Trying to move the conversation along,
I asked what else he would like Santa to bring him.
He promptly replied, "Another train."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one
evening just after arriving home from work. As he was
tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor
calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague
on the other end of the line.
"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend.
"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"
"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely.
"In fact, three doctors are there already....!"
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Keryl J. Lopez, 48,
McKinleyville,
California
Troopers seize $1.3 million in marijuana
during Olmsted Falls traffic stop
A California woman is facing charges after Ohio Highway Patrol
troopers seized 510 pounds of marijuana in a Nov. 5 traffic stop
in Olmsted Falls, according to a news release.
At 1:20 p.m. troopers stopped a 2018 Penske Truck with Indiana
registration for speed and marked lanes violations on the Ohio
Turnpike. Criminal indicators were observed and a drug-sniffing
canine alerted to the vehicle, according to the release. A
probable cause search revealed the contraband.
The driver, Keryl J. Lopez, 48 of McKinleyville, California, is
facing single felony counts of possession and trafficking in
marijuana. She is being held in the Strongsville City Jail.
If convicted, she could face up to 22 years in prison and up to a
$40,000 fine.
There is no mug shot of her available anywhere on the net.
From: Roland
Re: Email virus
Dear Webby
Please check this one out, see if it's true,
Thanks, Roland
This one is called the (FTC/DOJ COMPLAINT) e-mail:
Another E-mail Virus
I just came across a new e-mail virus that is starting to spread
itself around the Web. It comes as an e-mail from the
Department of Justice. Keep reading for all the details!
...Blah, blah, blah
Currently, no antivirus companies have a patch to protect
anyone from this attack..........
Hi Roland
Just a BS hoax.
Whenever you read
"Currently, no antivirus companies have a ....."
"Microsoft announced..."
"IBM announced ...."
"AOL announced..."
"FTC announced..."
then it is BS. Guaranteed.
Nobody reads mail from the Dept. of Justice anyway, unless
they are some crook on probation.
If you have MailWasher, that kind of stuff never
makes it to your mailbox.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Martin for this story:
Two men are out ice fishing at their favourite fishing hole,
just fishing quietly and drinking beer.
Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Rick says,
"I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken
to me in over 2 months."
Dave continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says,
"You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
On the way hom as I was sitting in the Phoenix
airport, they announced that the flight was full. The
airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats.
In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next
flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later.
About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage
of the offer.
About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down
grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter said, "If there
is anyone else OTHER than the flight crew who'd like to
volunteer, please step forward."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
sy Classic Christmas Ornament
Lightly spray paint pine cones with gold or silver paint to
make a classic Christmas ornament. Use florist wire or
paper clips to hang them on the tree. Or, put them in a
bowl or basket as a as a centerpiece or table decoration.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Oldest Human Footprints in North America Discovered
|
___________________________________________________
One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with
a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her back
yard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew,
she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold.
An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he
returned 1-1/2 hours later with a black eye.
"Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asked.
"No," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying:
"Remember, the first five minutes of a human
being's life are the most dangerous."
Underneath, a nurse had written:
"The last five are pretty risky, too."
Today November 12 in
1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard
at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of
the garment that is named after him.
1918 Austria and Czechoslovakia were declared independent
republics.
1921 Representatives of nine nations gathered for the start of
the Washington Conference for Limitation of Armaments.
1927 Joseph Stalin became the undisputed ruler of the Soviet
Union. Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party leading
to Stalin coming to power.
1931 Maple Leaf Gardens opened in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. It
was to be the new home of the Toronto Maple Leafs in the National
Hockey League (NHL).
1942 During World War II, naval battle of Guadalcanal began
between Japanese and American forces. The Americans won a major
victory.
1944 During World War II, the German battleship "Tirpitz" was
sunk off the coast of Norway.
1946 The first drive-up banking facility opened at the Exchange
National Bank in Chicago, IL.
1948 The war crimes tribunal sentenced Japanese Premier Hideki
Tojo and six other World War II Japanese leaders to death.
1954 Ellis Island, the immigration station in New York Harbor,
closed after processing more than 20 million immigrants since
1892.
1964 Paula Murphy set the female land speed record 226.37 MPH.
1979 U.S. President Carter ordered a halt to all oil imports from
Iran in response to 63 Americans being taken hostage at the U.S.
embassy in Tehran, Iran on November 4.
1980 The U.S. space probe Voyager I came within 77,000 miles of
Saturn while transmitting data back to Earth.
1982 Yuri V. Andropov was elected to succeed the late Leonid I.
Brezhnev as general secretary of the Soviet Communist Party's
Central Committee.
1984 Space shuttle astronauts Dale Gardner and Joe Allen snared
the Palapa B-2 satellite in history's first space salvage.
1985 In Norfolk, VA, Arthur James Walker was sentenced to life in
prison for his role in a spy ring run by his brother, John A.
Walker Jr.
1987 The American Medical Association issued a policy statement
that said it was unethical for a doctor to refuse to treat
someone solely because that person had AIDS or was HIV-positive.
1990 Japanese Emperor Akihito formally assumed the Chrysanthemum
Throne.
1995 The space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to dock
with the Russian space station Mir.
1997 Four Americans and their Pakistani driver were shot to death
in Karachi, Pakistan. The Americans were oil company employees.
1997 The UN Security Council imposed new sanctions on Iraq for
constraints being placed on UN arms inspectors.
1997 Ramzi Yousef was found guilty of masterminding the 1993
bombing of the World Trade Center.
1998 Daimler-Benz completed a merger with Chrysler to form
Daimler-Chrysler AG.
2001 American Airlines flight 587 crashed just minutes after take
off from Kennedy Airport in New York. The Airbus A300 crashed
into the Rockaway Beach section of Queens. All 260 people aboard
were killed.
2001 It was reported that the Northern Alliance had taken the
Kabul, Afghanistan, from the ruling Taliban. The Norther Alliance
at this point was reported to have control over most of the
northern areas of Afghanistan.
2002 Stan Lee filed a lawsuit against Marvel Entertainment Inc.
that claimed the company had cheated him out of millions of
dollars in movie profits related to the 2002 movie "Spider-Man."
Lee was the creator of Spider-Man, the Incredible Hulk and
Daredevil.
2013 A series of portraits of Lucian Freud by the British painter
Francis Bacon known as Three Studies of Lucian Freud sold for
$142.4 million at an auction in New York City.
2013 In New York, it was announced that the new World Trade
Center was the tallest building in the United States. The height
was measured at 1,776 feet. The building was also the fourth
tallest building in the world at the time.
2013 U.S. Airways and AMR reached an antitrust settlement with
the U.S. Department of Justice which would allow a merger that
would create the world's largest airline.
2014 NATO commander Gen Philip Breedlove reported that Russian
military equipment and Russian combat troops had been seen
entering Ukraine in columns over several days.
2014 The European Space Agency's Rosetta spacecraft used its
lander Philae to perform the first soft landing on a comet. The
comet was 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko.
2018 smiled.
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Sunday, November 11, 2018, 07:24 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, November 11
Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
OZ man ‘punched prostitute in the face’
when she refused to have sex without a condom
______________________________________________________
Today, November 11 in
1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany
signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day
in the United States.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
You can observe a lot just by watching.
--- Yogi Berra (1925 - )
______________________________________________________
Sometimes Norm can be so positive and enthusiastic about
whatever's he's doing that it's disconcerting to me.
I wonder if he's walking in the same world I am.
Once we were fishing in a mountain lake. We hadn't caught
a thing. Norm had rowed the boat to five or six different
spots, looking for the fish to bite.
Finally, after about three hours, he got this big grin on
his face and said, "Now we can really start fishing. We
know where the fish aren't!"
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
>From Wilbur
Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room
and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state,
dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle.
If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
So she got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my wine.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
While down south on a visit, the young Yankee made
a date with a local lovely. When he called for her,
she was clad in a low-cut, tight-fitting, long dress.
He remarked, "That's certainly a beautiful dress."
"Sho 'nough?" she asked sweetly.
"It sure does," he replied.
______________________________________________________
Tag Team
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Andrew Strogylos, 36,
Sydney,
Australia
OZ man ‘punched prostitute in the face’
when she refused to have sex without a condom
Mortgage broker Andrew Strogylos, 36, was charged with common
assault and assault occasioning actual bodily harm against the
woman who worked at a brothel in Sydney, Australia.
He allegedly attacked her when she refused unprotected sex after
Strogylos handed over $200 for a ‘platinum service’. Strogylos
had been wearing a condom when the service began, but allegedly
took it off before trying to have sex with the 28-year-old sex
worker at the Zinia Brothel on March 16. Burwood Local Court
heard that Strogylos argued with the woman when she tried to
‘shut down’ the one-hour session. Court documents claim Strogylos
told the woman he had paid $200 for platinum service and she
should ‘offer those services’. The court heard the woman called
for help and covered herself with a towel until her co-worker Yi
Xun Gan entered the room.
Police allege in court documents that Strogylos then spat in the
woman’s face, she poured water on him and he allegedly retaliated
by punching her in the face. Mr Gan was also allegedly punched in
the face after trying to help the woman. Strogylos was arrested
on April 27 at his home in Belmore, Sydney.
time to act Police allegedly uncovered a stash of steroids
including 63 10ml vials of testosterone in his bedroom, the court
heard. He was also charged with five counts of possessing a
prohibited drug and supply prohibited drug, after police
allegedly uncovered pills and other items at this home.
Strogylos, who did not apply for bail and was formally refused
bail. It is hoped that he will be taught manners in jail.
From: Jenn
Re: Mailwasher filters
Dear Webby
I finally took your advice and downloaded Mailwasher. Can you
suggest some filters for spam? I already set up the "=?ISO-"
one you suggested, but wonder if you have any more
suggestions. Also, how do I keep it from bouncing legitimate
mail I get from the various lists that I'm on (including yours)?
Do I have to make sure to get them all on my friends list?
Jenn
Dear Jenn
For making filters just make them as spam comes in.
They are really easy to make, and a very rewarding type of fun.
When you see spam, look for things different spams have in
common. A typically common word is "enlarge", and that also is
part of enlargement.
Hit CTRL F7, the Filter editor opens, make a filter that reacts
to that word, deletes it and hides it.
The same for "Prescript", and so on. No need to use the full
words, just the common parts of them.
With newsletters, make GOOD filters for them. That is more
precise than to just add them to the friends list.
Mark them as legitimate and hide them from the list
Just add filters as required by the type of spam you get.
The reward is when you open up in the morning and read in the
status line:
412 emails hidden,
and then gleefully pounce on the "PROCESS" button.
The only better way to start the day is
not a family safe topic '-)
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an
attendant standing nearby.
"This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous
representations you call modern art?"
"No, Madam," replied the attendant.
"That one's called a mirror."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
HER SIDE OF THE STORY
He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought
it might have been my fault because I was a bit late
but he didn't say anything much about it.
The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we
should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk
more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was
STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and
started to wonder whether it was me or something else.
I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure.
So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his house, I
said that I love him and he just put his arm around me.
I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know
he doesn't say it back or anything. We finally got back
to his place and I was wondering if he was going to
dump me! So I tried to ask him about it but he just
switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to
go to sleep. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me
and we had sex.
But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I
just wanted to leave but I just cried myself to sleep.
I dunno, I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I
mean, do you think he's met someone else???
HIS SIDE OF THE STORY
My team lost. That cost me a bundle!
Felt Kinda Tired. Got laid though.
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Getting the Most out of Turkey or Chicken Bones
To pull the calcium out of chicken or turkey bones, add 1
ounce of vinegar to each quart of water (up to 4 ounces total)
when you are making soup stock. It will not give a vinegar
taste to the soup but will draw out ALL the nutrients in the
bones.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
The Shirk Report
|
___________________________________________________
Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started
to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like
all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so
upset, I've lost 20 pounds."
"Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her
friend.
"Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at
least another fifteen pounds first."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Fatal Things To Say If Your Wife Is Pregnant
I finished the Oreos.
Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40
pounds.
Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a
baby!
I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby
forever!
Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl.
Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit
from that Richard Simmons fella.
Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's
gotta hurt.
Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard
Scott!
I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?
Are your ankles supposed to look like that?
Get your *own* ice cream.
Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today.
Got milk?
Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney?
Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!
Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water.
Your stomach sticks out almost as much as your rear!
You don't have the guts to pull that trigger!
Today November 11 in
1620 The Mayflower Compact was signed by the 41 men on the
Mayflower when they landed in what is now Provincetown Harbor
near Cape Cod. The compact called for "just and equal laws."
1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged in
Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising.
1851 The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark. It had been in
use for a few hundred years, but never patented.
1880 Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged at
the Melbourne jail at age 25.
1887 Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being
convicted of being connected to a bombing that killed eight
police officers.
1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany
signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day
in the United States.
1918 Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of
Germany.
1920 The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in
Westminster Abbey. The service was recorded with the first
electronic recording process developed by Lionel Guest and H.O.
Merriman.
1921 The Tomb of the Unknowns was dedicated at Arlington Cemetery
in Virginia by U.S. President Harding.
1938 Kate Smith first sang Irving Berlin's "God Bless America" on
network radio.
1940 The Jeep made its debut.
1942 During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of
France.
1952 The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin and
Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA.
1965 The government of Rhodesia declared its independence from
Britain. The country later became known as Zimbabwe.
1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The craft
circled the Earth 59 times before returning.
1972 The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the South
Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct
involvement in the Vietnam War by the U.S. military.
1975 Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from
Portugal.
1981 Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100-story
John Hancock Center in Chicago in about six hours.
1981 The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat
Division in Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class submarine.
1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial Fund.
1984 Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney
transplant in Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age 5.
1986 Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys," becoming
the second largest computer company.
1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record 53.9
million dollars in New York.
1988 Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven bodies
buried on the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea Puente was
later charged in the deaths of nine people, convicted of three
murders and sentenced to life in prison.
1991 The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16
years to help the nation arrange democratic elections.
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a
letter that Americans had been held in prison camps after World
War II. Some were "summarily executed," but others were still
living in his country voluntarily.
1992 The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests.
1993 Walt Disney Co. announced plans to build a U.S. history
theme park in a Virginia suburb of Washington. The plan was
halted later due to local opposition.
1993 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was
dedicated to honor the more than 11,000 women who had served in
the Vietnam War.
1994 In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an
Israeli military checkpoint killing three soldiers.
1996 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall That
Heals." The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial that would tour communities throughout the United
States.
1997 The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were laying
off 10,000 employees.
1998 Jay Cochrane set a record for the longest blindfolded
skywalk. He walked on a tightrope between the towers of the
Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas, NV. The towers are 600 feet apart.
1998 Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement with
the Palestinians.
2002 Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates pledged $100 million to fight
AIDS in India.
2018 smiled.
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Saturday, November 10, 2018, 09:38 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, November 10
Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Man arrested for raping 4-year-old,
Infecting her with Gonorrhea
______________________________________________________
Today, November 10 in
1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David
Livingstone. Livingstone was a missing Scottish missionary
in central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting:
"Dr. Livingstone, I presume?"
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing
the means he uses to frighten you.
--- Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983)
"There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do,
and that is to contradict other philosophers."
--- William James
______________________________________________________
John came from San Francisco to Depoe Bay and
asked a native,
"Say, is this really a healthy place?"
"It sure is," the native replied. "When I came here I couldn't
say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't
have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be
lifted out of bed."
"That's wonderful!" said John. "How long have you been here?"
"I was born here."
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
I urgently needed a few days off work but I knew the boss
would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I
acted 'crazy', then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny
noises.
My secretaryt asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, so the
Boss might think I was 'crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later, the boss came into the office and asked,
'What in the name of Sam Hill are you doing?'
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and
recuperate for a couple of days.'
I jumped down and walked out of the office...
When my secretary followed me, the boss asked her,
'And where do you think you're going?!'
To which she replied:
'I'm going home too. I can't work in the dark.'
------------
I need a boss like that!
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
"Your Honor, my wife is just being ridiculous. Most women
would love to have a husband who still believes in chivalry
and I was only opening the door for her out of chivalry."
"Mr. Smith," replied the judge, "I am granting the divorce. I
cannot believe chivalry was your motivation while driving 65
mph."
______________________________________________________
Tag Team
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Arturo Macarro Gutierrez, 35,
St Paul,
Minnesota
Man arrested for raping 4-year-old,
Infecting her with Gonorrhea
A Minnesota man is accused of raping his girlfriend’s four-year-
old daughter, who tested positive for gonorrhea.
Authorities charged Arturo Macarro Gutierrez, 35, with first and
second-degree criminal sexual conduct for allegedly sexually
assaulting the four-year-old victim at a house in St. Paul on
October 28.
The four-year-old’s grandmother reported the incident last
Wednesday after her granddaughter said Gutierrez pulled down her
pants and hurt her.
The four-year-old called Gutierrez “daddy,” but the grandmother
told authorities he was dating the girl’s mother. The child’s
aunt told the grandmother Gutierrez had been making “humping”
motions in the bedroom.
The victim went to a local hospital, where tests determined she
had contracted gonorrhea.
A SWAT team executing a search warrant on the residence
discovered Gutierrez hiding in the attic. Authorities accused him
of sexually assaulting the girl after he also tested positive for
gonorrhea.
Gutierrez denied hurting the girl, according to a criminal
complaint.
The 35-year-old has a rap sheet that includes domestic violence
charges. Gutierrez made his first court appearance for the sexual
assault charges Monday and is due back in court on November 20.
From: Tam
Re: Removing AdAware
Dear Webby
Hi and as always thanks for the daily humor. I think I asked
you this before, but I need help..
again!!
I got McAfee virus protection and it will not let me install it
100% because I have AdAware and can not get to my
add/remove program to uninstall it.
PLEASE let me know if there is a way I can uninstall that.
And any solutions as to why I can not get to add/remove?
thanks and have a good day
Tam
Dear Tam
AdAware has been around for ages, and the ad companies have tried
all that time to defeat it or to get around it. So they have
continuously made it stronger and tougher to defeat.
A lot of people have problems with removing AdAware.
That is one of the reasons I don't recommend them.
Half an hour on Google found this:
1. Click "uninstall Ad-Aware" in the lavasoft folder of your
start menu
2. If it does not work, open your control panel, click add/remove
programs and locate Ad-Aware SE
3. If it still does not work, locate and run (double-click) the
file "unwise.exe" (the .exe might not be shown). It should be
found in C:\program files\lavasoft\Ad-Aware SE
[Personal/Plus/Professional]\
If that does not work, or if you get a message saying something
like "Can't find Install.log," perform a manual uninstall. Do the
following:
1. Click on "my computer" and navigate to your Lavasoft Ad-Aware
folder (C:\program files\lavasoft\ad-aware \
2. Run the file unregaaw.exe
3. Delete the entire ad-aware folder
4. Delete your Lavasoft Ad-Aware link in your start menu (if
present)
5. Delete the Ad-Aware icon(s) from your desktop(if present)
6. Navigate to C:\Documents and Settings\[User Name]\Application
Data\Lavasoft
and delete the entire Lavasoft folder.
7. Empty your trash bin
8. Reboot.
If you have already deleted unregaaw.exe, try to get it from
Lavasoft in Sweden.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
"Pastor," Johnny says, "I heard you say today that our
bodies came from the dust."
"That's right, Johnny, I did."
"And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go
back to dust."
"Yes, I'm glad you were listening. Why do you ask?"
"Well you better come over to our house right away and
look under my bed, 'cause there's someone either
comin' or goin'!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Nina: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
Rosey: Yes, I did, once. He had forgotten to take the cigarette
out of his mouth.
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Wrap Gifts Before They Are Found
Wrap gifts before you hide them. That way if someone does
look for them or accidentally stumble across them, the
contents will still be concealed. I try to wrap gifts the
day that I buy them. This saves time as Christmas
approaches too.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
The Shirk Report
|
___________________________________________________
A young and foolish hot-shot pilot wanted to sound cool and
show who was boss on the aviation radio frequencies. So,
this was his first time approaching an airfield during the
nighttime. Instead of making any official landing requests to the
tower, he said:
"Guess who?"
The tower controller switched the field lights off and replied:
"Guess where!"
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
>From Myrna
When my daughter was about 10 years old I became pregnant.
Of course, she wanted to know how it happened,so I gave
what I considered an appropriate explanation of the process.
She asked, "Did you do that and I happened?"
I said yes, and she responded, "And in spite of that,
you did it again?"
Today November 10 in
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the
Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after the
end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine Corps
were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day is
observed as the birth date of the United States Marine Corps.
1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of
dueling.
1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David
Livingstone. Livingstone was a missing Scottish missionary in
central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: "Dr.
Livingstone, I presume?"
1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White House.
1919 The American Legion held its first national convention in
Minneapolis, MN.
1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan.
1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began when
Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his counterpart
in Alameda, CA.
1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA.
1957 102,368 people attended the San Francisco 49ers and Los
Angeles Rams game. The crowd was the largest regular-season crowd
in NFL history.
1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism.
1975 The U.N. General Assembly approved a resolution that equated
Zionism with racism. The resolution was repealed in December of
1991.
1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its crew of
29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior.
1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been kidnapped in
a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused to pay the cab fare.
1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack at
age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov.
1982 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial was opened
to visitors.
1986 Camille Sontag and Marcel Coudari, two Frenchmen were
released by the captors that held them in Lebanon.
1988 The U.S. Department of Energy announced that Texas would be
the home of the atom-smashing super-collider. The project was
cancelled by a vote of the U.S. Congress in Oct. 1993.
1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of marital
sexual assault against his wife who sexually mutilated him.
Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of malicious wounding her
husband.
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady Bill,
which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases.
1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop enforcing
the arms embargo against the Bosnian government the following
week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to lifting the ban.
1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the action
would end trade sanctions.
1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro-Wiwa
along with several other anti-government activists.
1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after a
massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The disaster
left 24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead.
1997 WorldCom Inc. acquired MCI Communication Corporation. It was
the largest merger in U.S. history valued at $37 billion.
1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the murder of
two CIA employees in 1993.
1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's murder
conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English au pair to
time served. She had served 279 days in the death of 8-month-old
Matthew Eappen.
2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's membership.
2018 smiled.
|
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Friday, November 9, 2018, 07:02 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, November 9
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
Feds charge serial bank robbery suspect
in Madison Heights, other robberies
______________________________________________________
Today, November 9 in
1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a
patent on neon advertising signs.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you
never get the urge to throw a snowball.
--- Doug Larson
______________________________________________________
As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a
cheap housing complex near the base where he was
working. Their chief complaint was that the walls were
paper-thin and that they had no privacy.
This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband
was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone.
She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet
her neighbor.
"Give this to your husband," he said thrusting a roll of
toilet paper into her hands. "He's been yelling for it for
15 minutes!"
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company,
I took a call from a driver who needed a tow. He was
stranded on a busy highway, but he didn't know the make of
the car he was driving. I asked again for a more detailed
description beyond a "blue, four-door sedan."
"It's the one on fire," he replied.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
>From Kathy
"My ten year old daughter asked me what a colon was and I
explained that it was a part of the body that food goes
through before being eliminated. Then she asked me what a
semicolon was and I told her that it was a colon the size
of a truck with eighteen wheels."
______________________________________________________
Revenge will be in your shoes!
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Dajanae Jordan, 23.
Grosse Pointe Park,
Madison Heights,
Michigan
Feds charge serial bank robbery suspect
in Madison Heights, other robberies
A woman accused in a string of bank robberies in Madison Heights
and other cities has been named and arraigned in federal court.
Police said Dajanae Jordan, 23, of Grosse Pointe Park was charged
on bank robbery and attempted bank robbery counts Friday in U.S.
District Court in Detroit.
We're not charging her locally, said Madison Heights Detective
Sgt. Brent LeMerise. The case has been turned over to the feds.
Jordan faced a detention hearing Monday afternoon in federal
court where her bail will be set.
The robberies and attempted robberies first started a couple of
weeks ago in Macomb County when authorities said Jordan
unsuccessfully tried to rob a Chase Bank in Warren.
Jordan used notes that she handed to tellers at all the banks
where the robberies and attempted robberies were done, according
to police in Oakland and Macomb counties.
Other banks included in the string of robberies included an
unsuccessful attempt at Vibe Credit Union in Sterling Heights.
But police said she was successful in robberies at a Comerica
Bank in Macomb Township, a Flagstar Bank on Big Beaver in Troy
and a Chase Bank in Madison Heights.
The Chase Bank in Madison Heights is located in the Hollywood
Market on Campbell Road near 12 Mile and was robbed Oct. 25.
Madison Heights police said she handed a male teller a note and
threatened to shoot him if he didn't hurry up and she got away
with $2,500.
Multiple police departments and the FBI were part of the ongoing
investigation of the robberies and attempted robberies.
They hadn't identified a suspect until police said Jordan
returned to the bank in Madison Heights and unsuccessfully tried
to rob it again on Halloween.
Residents called police and reported a woman matching the
suspect's description was running through their yards in a
neighborhood near the bank. One of them also saw a car matching
the description of a silver car used in the earlier bank robbery.
Police said a man in a burgundy Jeep picked up the suspect. Hazel
Park police spotted the Jeep heading south on Interstate 75 near
Eight Mile Road and finally stopped the vehicle in Detroit. The
man driving the Jeep has not been charged and reportedly told
police he didn't know Jordan had robbed a bank when he picked her
up.
From: Joan-Mary
Re: Letter not showing
Dear Webby
The Humor Letter is came through as a blank and only when
I hit reply to advise this, did I get to see the column.
Respectfully,
Joan-Mary
Dear Joan-Mary
It did arrive and download OK,
otherwise hitting Reply later would not have made a
difference, and it showed OK for all other subscribers.
Check the settings in your email program.
If you tell me which email program you use, I can investigate
further.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
From a passenger ship one can just barely see a bearded man
on a small island in the distance who is shouting and
desperately waving his hands.
"Who is that?" a passenger asked a passing steward.
"I've no idea. Every year when we pass by, he goes nuts."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
A rancher goes to the bank to borrow money to buy a bull so
he can increase his stock. The transaction is made and the
banker who lent the money comes by a week later to see how
his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull
just eats grass and won't even look at the cows. The banker
suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull.
The next week the banker returns to see if the vet helped.
The farmer looks very pleased: "The bull has taken care of
all my cows, broke through the fence, and has even serviced
all my neighbor's cows!"
"Wow," says the banker, "what did the vet do to that bull?"
"Just gave him some pills," replied the farmer.
"What kind of pills?" asked the banker.
"I don't know, but they sort of taste like peppermint."
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Breaking Up a Dog Fight
The best way to break up a dog fight is to throw water on
the dogs. This will usually startle the dogs enough to stop
the fighting. Breaking up a dog fight with your hands can
be very dangerous as you are liable to get bit or scratched.
In winter, when thawed out water may be hard to come by,
gonging them with an empty plastic 5 gallon pail usually
gets their attention, especially if it is the same pail that
you use to feed them. It may look cruel, but is a lot better
than letting them kill or injure each other.
DearWebby
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
15 secretive places you can now see on Google Earth.
|
___________________________________________________
>From Merlin
All my relatives know that I refold the wrapping paper from
my Christmas presents for reuse later.
"Auntie," asked one of my young nieces, "why do you save
all that paper?"
"I'm doing what's best for the environment," I replied. "So
I'm recycling."
"Good thing you didn't ask that question five years ago,"
my daughter interrupted. "Then she was just plain cheap."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Seen on a bumper sticker:
A Lesbian is a mannish depressive
with delusions of gender.
Today November 9 in
1857 The "Atlantic Monthly" first appeared on newsstands and
featured the first installment of "The Autocrat of the Breakfast
Table" by Oliver Wendell Holmes.
1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA.
1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see the
progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip by a
U.S. president.
1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent on neon
advertising signs.
1918 Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II announced he would abdicate. He
then fled to the Netherlands.
1923 In Munich, the Beer Hall Putsch was crushed by German troops
that were loyal to the democratic government. The event began the
evening before when Adolf Hitler took control of a beer hall full
of Bavarian government leaders at gunpoint.
1935 United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis and other labor
leaders formed the Committee for Industrial Organization.
1938 Nazi troops and sympathizers destroyed and looted 7,500
Jewish businesses, burned 267 synagogues, killed 91 Jews, and
rounded up over 25,000 Jewish men in an event that became known
as Kristallnacht or "Night of Broken Glass."
1953 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a 1922 ruling that major
league baseball did not come within the scope of federal
antitrust laws.
1961 Major Robert White flew an X-15 rocket plane at a world
record speed of 4,093 mph.
1961 The Professional Golfer's Association (PGA) eliminated its
"caucasians only" rule.
1963 In Japan, about 450 miners were killed in a coal-dust
explosion.
1963 In Japan, 160 people died in a train crash.
1965 The great Northeast blackout occurred as several states and
parts of Canada were hit by a series of power failures lasting up
to 13 1/2 hours.
1967 A Saturn V rocket carrying an unmanned Apollo spacecraft
blasted off from Cape Kennedy on a successful test flight.
1976 The U.N. General Assembly approved ten resolutions
condemning the apartheid government in South Africa.
1979 The United Nations Security Council unanimously called upon
Iran to release all American hostages "without delay." Militants,
mostly students had taken 63 Americans hostage at the U.S.
embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4.
1981 U.S. troops began arriving in Egypt for a three-week Rapid
Deployment Force excercise. Somalia, Sudan and Oman were also
involved in the operation.
1981 The Internation Monetary Fund approved a $5.8 billion loan
to India. It was the highest loan to date.
1982 Sugar Ray Leonard retired from boxing. In 1984 Leonard came
out of retirement to fight one more time before becoming a boxing
commentator for NBC.
1984 A bronze statue titled "Three Servicemen," by Frederick
Hart, was unveiled at the site of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial
in Washington, DC.
1989 Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing its
citizens to travel freely to West Germany.
1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a non-
aggression treaty with Germany.
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin, visiting London, appealed
for assistance in rescheduling his country's debt, and asked
British businesses to invest.
1998 A federal judge in New York approved the richest antitrust
settlement in U.S. history. A leading brokerage firm was ordered
to pay $1.03 billion to investors who had sued over price-rigging
of Nasdaq stocks.
2004 U.S. First Lady Laura Bush officially reopened Pennsylvania
Avenue in front of the White House to pedestrians.
2018 smiled.
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How to stop Chrome from crashing Thursday, November 8, 2018, 09:32 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, November 8
Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Today's Bonehead Award:
To avoid death penalty, man admits
killing pregnant wife and two daughters
______________________________________________________
Today, November 8 in
1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity
discovered the scientific principle involved and took the first
X-ray pictures.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right.
--- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860)
______________________________________________________
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, ,
tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," replies, "I don't have to.
My Mom is a pretty good cook."
________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The Jewish Chronicle had heard that Benny was coming up
to his 110th birthday so they sent one of their reporters to
interview him.
"How do you account for your longevity?" asked the reporter.
"You could say that I am a health nut," Benny answered. "I
have never smoked or drunk alcohol, I am always in bed by
ten o'clock, I've been going to Israeli folk dance classes since
I was a teenager and I've always walked three miles a day,
even in rain or snow."
"But," said the reporter, "my uncle Saul followed exactly the
same routine and he died when he was 75. So how come it
didn't work for him?"
"All I can say," replied Benny "is that he didn't keep it up
long enough."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First
Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety
seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit
still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned
over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is
going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all
over again!'
It worked."
______________________________________________________
She does not like Celine sounding like a cat in the
washing machine.
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes! 
Chris Watts, 33,
Greeley,
Colorado
To avoid death penalty, man admits
killing pregnant wife and two daughters
Chris Watts, 33, had claimed he saw his wife murdering Bella, 4,
and Celeste, 3, on a baby monitor, then went into a rage and
strangled his wife Shannan, who was 15 weeks pregnant. He pleaded
guilty today under a plea deal allowing him to avoid the death
penalty but putting him in jail for life without a chance of
parole. After he killed his family, Watts hid the bodies of his
daughters in an oil tank where he worked to hide the smell of
their decaying bodies, and buried his wife in a shallow grave.
One of Shannan’s friends became concerned about her whereabouts
after not hearing from her for several days after August 13 and
contacted police. Watts was arrested on August 16 – after making
a TV appeal for information about the whereabouts of his missing
family. He said their disappearance had left him ‘torn up inside’
and appealed for ‘everybody to just come home.’ Shanann Watts’
family members ‘were very strongly in favor of a resolution in
this case short of the death penalty,’ Weld County District
Attorney Michael Rourke said.
He recalled her mother, Sandra, saying Christopher Watts ‘made
the choice’ to take the lives of his family members. ‘I do not
want to be in the position of making the choice to take his,’
Rourke said, quoting Sandra. ‘That’s about as firmly as she could
have said it to me.’ Watts’ voice was shaking, and he could
occasionally be heard sniffing after each time he said ‘guilty.’
The agreement also required Watts to plead guilty to unlawful
termination of Shanann Watts’ pregnancy, a felony in Colorado.
Family members have said she planned to name the boy Nico.
The deal also ensures that Watts, who is 33, will consecutively
serve each sentence for that charge and the murders of his wife
and daughters. Rourke said Tuesday that investigators never
believed that Watts was being entirely truthful. ‘The spotlight
that he tried to shine on Shanann – falsely, incorrectly and
frankly a flat-out lie – has been corrected,’ Rourke said. ‘The
spotlight shines directly where it belongs: On him.’
From: DW
Re: Chrome crashing
Dear Webby
My Chrome browser keeps crashing, locking up, playing stoopid.
How can I fix that?
DW
Dear DW,
You probably use the "Honey" extension,
that checks net wide for better deals.
That works great, when you are on legitimate shopping sites,
however, if you are on hysterically fanatic liberal sites like
FaceBook or MSN, their censoring and excessive ads get into a
pissing contest with Chrome, and Chrome loses.
Just disable "Honey" and everything will work fine. Just enable
it when you are actually shopping. It will usually save you 5 -
25% of the price.
So far they have never sent me to a bad site,
You don'y have to remove "Honey". Just disable it until you
actually need it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Here is a list of some of the dumbest questions
asked by tourists at Alberta's Banff National Park. Yes,
they are all allegedly true, as heard at the information
kiosks manned by Parks Canada staff. [with my comment in
brackets]
1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the
"Elk Crossing" signs? [They just do]
2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose? [6 feet]
3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?" Park information
staff: "Elk." Tourist: "Oh." [Actually it is pronounced "Elk!]
4. Are the bears with collars tame? [Yes...take one home they
make lovely pets!]
5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose? [Just before they
eat
you!]
6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table,
or should I store it in my tent? [Your sleeping bag or underwear
is a much better place for it!]
7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingoes? [Just to the left there...
see them?]
8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today. Could you tell
me what it was? [Yes]
9. Are there birds in Canada? [Are there brains in your head?]
10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada? [Hopefully!]
11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin? [Right there!]
12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper? [You are with a
travel group right? I would hate for you to get lost in our
fine country!]
13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that
Saskatchewan? [no that would be Quebec!]
14. If I go to BC, do I have to go through Ontario? [Only if you
are on a round-the-world tour!]
15. Which is the way to the Columbia Rice Fields? [Try China!]
16. How far is Banff from Canada? [Very far!]
17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day? [Space Shuttle!]
18. Do they search you at the BC border? [If you ask them
nicely!]
19. When we enter BC, do we have to convert our money to British
pounds? [They are using the Yen now!]
20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? All Canadians own one,
don't they? [Sure do...and we all own red "mountie" suits too!]
21. Are there phones in Banff? [No...it is Canada's only official
phone-free location!]
22. So it's eight kilometres away. Is that in miles? [no..in
fathoms!]
23. We're on the decibel system you know. [Really...so convert a
69 for me!]
24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost? [Spread your
legs!]
25. Is that two kilometres by foot or by car? [Yes!]
26. Don't you Canadians know anything? [Oh boy...watch out for
that tree!]
27. Where do you put the animals at night? [In your car!]
28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?" Park staff: "We
take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom." Tourist:
"Oh."
[And we paint the trees green too!]
And then there is the mating call of the bluehaired Winnebegans:
"An juss haw much es that en reel mohney?"
[Just double it and round it down. That's close enough.]
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes.
When she returned, she found the children in perfect order.
Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet.
She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen anything
like it before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came
over all of you? Why are you so well-behaved and quiet?"
Finally, after much urging, a little girl said, "Well, one time
you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet,
you would drop dead!!"
___________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Thriftyfun.com
Grow a Natural Christmas Tree
Consider a potted tree instead of a cut one. It will save you
money every year and it will grow with you and your family.
Keep an eye on your tree's health while it is inside. It
should only be inside for 10 to 14 days.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
The Amazing ‘Needle Painting’ of Vera Shimunia
|
___________________________________________________
There was a large revival meeting on the outskirts
of town, and at the appropriate corner there was
a large sign proclaiming...."If you are weary of
sin and want to be saved, turn here, go 100 yards,
and come into the revival tent."
Below the sign someone had hung another smaller
one...."If NOT weary, call Sherry 555-3550."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...
and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake?
Where does the glue go?
-------------
your hips!
Today November 8 in
1793 The Louvre Museum, in Paris, opened to the public for the
first time.
1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The
expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. The
journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of exploring the
Louisiana Purchase territory.
1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity
discovered the scientific principle involved and took the first
X-ray pictures.
1910 William H. Frost patented the insect exterminator.
1923 Adolf Hitler made his first attempt at seizing power in
Germany with a failed coup in Munich that came to be known as the
"Beer-Hall Putsch."
1933 The Civil Works Administration was created by executive
order by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The organization
was designed to create jobs for more than 4 million unemployed
people in the U.S.
1942 The U.S. invaded Morocco and Algeria.
1942 During World War II, Operation Torch began as U.S. and
British forces landed in French North Africa.
1950 During the Korean conflict, the first jet-plane battle took
place as U.S. Air Force Lt. Russell J. Brown shot down a North
Korean MiG-15.
1956 After turning down 18,000 names, the Ford Motor Company
decided to name their new car the "Edsel," after Henry Ford's
only son.
1966 Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California.
1979 The program, "The Iran Crisis: America Held Hostage",
premiered on ABC-TV. The show was planned to be temporary, but it
evolved into "Nightline" in March of 1980.
1980 Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California
announced that they had discovered a 15th moon orbiting the
planet Saturn.
1981 Egyptian President Hosni Mubarek asserted that Egypt was "an
African State" that was "neither East nor West".
1985 A letter signed by four American hostages in Lebanon was
delivered to The Associated Press in Beirut. The letter,
contained pleas from Terry Anderson, Rev. Lawrence Jenco, David
Jacobsen and Thomas Sutherland to President Reagan to negotiate a
release.
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered more troop
deployments in the Persian Gulf, adding about 150,000 soldiers to
the multi-national force fighting against Iraq.
1991 The European Community and Canada imposed economic sanctions
on Yugoslavia in an attempt to stop the Balkan civil war.
1992 About 350,000 people rallied in Berlin against racist
violence.
1993 Five Picasso paintings and other artwork were stolen from
the Museum of Modern Art in Stockholm, Sweden. The works were
valued at $52 million.
1997 Chinese engineers diverted the Yangtze River to make way for
the Three Gorges Dam.
2000 In Florida, a statewide recount began to decide the winner
of the 2000 U.S. presidential election.
2000 Waco special counsel John C. Danforth released his final
report that absolved the government of wrongdoing in the 1993
siege of the Branch Davidian compound in Texas.
2018 smiled.
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