Refilling printer ink 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, April 9, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face. --- Dave Barry And other skiers too!
Linda invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six- year-old daughter and said,"Would you like to say the blessing?" "I don't know what to say," she replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," her mother told her. The daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these ungrateful nuts to dinner?"
Most women have these two complaints: nothing to wear and not enough closet space!
Thanks to Sandie for this picture:
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to William Ferris, 27, Cincinnati, Ohio Reported himself for paying a hooker William Ferris, an Ohio man yesterday paid a prostitute $50 with the understanding that he would receive a full menu of sexual services in the bathroom of a White Castle in Cincinnati. However, when the hooker only performed oral sex on him, Ferris--who was also expecting vaginal sex--contacted police to report that he had just been robbed. When Hamilton County Sheriff's Office deputies responded to Ferris's 911 call, his "story began to fall apart," according to an arrest report. Ferris admitted that he was not, in fact, robbed by his unidentified paid date. In an interview, a frustrated Ferris told TSG that he expected "all of it for $50," but just got "kissing and sucking" during the 20-minute bathroom encounter. He added that the hooker picked the White Castle for their assignation since its bathroom locked (and not because of the eatery's tasty belly bombers). The unemployed Ferris, charged with solicitation and making a false police report, was scheduled to be arraigned today on the misdemeanor counts. He also will be charged with trespassing if he returns to the White Castle on Harrison Avenue. Just as dumb, but not as cute as yesterday's Bonehead.
From Kathy I agree with you about the morons. I use your Squirrel e cards all the time. My friends love it. Have a great rest of the week. Thank you for all your great information. I have learned a lot. Kathy Dear Kathy I don't want to take the credit for that site. It is owned and designed and maintained by a lady named Barbara Kee We just supply the basic templates and the UNIX engine under the hood, that ensures that 1) nobody can attach anything malicious to the cards, and 2) delivers them to the recipient address. and 3) tells the sender about the pick-up event. You can open a postcard page or site too, if you have a dozen or more pictures. We even supply the templates to get started. You can of course edit them any way you want, but you get a head-start and don't have to figure things out the hard way. The FREE BASIC version is free. It is kept very basic, so that you can quickly and easily see how things flow, without getting overwhelmed by a Million options. Have FUN! DearWebby From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carolyn Re: Printer ink Dear Webby, my printer has been a good one through the years (HP) but the cartridges for it are expensive. How do you feel about refilling the ink cartridges? Will it mess up my printer? My cartridges are over $40 each. Thanks, Webby and thanks for your great website! Carolyn Dear Carolyn We have refilled our ink cartridges with ink from Atlantic Inkjet for probably 10 or more years. Never a problem with the ink. HPs usually fail in the electronics. They are not meant to last forever, ya know. Have FUN! DearWebby
This is next joke is not a new and current news event, but a story I reprint almost every year: An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate. The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result. "This guy must have messed up the settings way too much," the off-duty officer thought. A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: each for not wearing a seat belt!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Seeds from Store Bought Tomatoes I bought a tomato at the store and squeezed the seeds onto a paper towel. After they dried, I cut the paper around the seed and planted them in good potting soil. Keep damp and you will have tomato plants in about a week. I tried planting seeds immediately after squeezing the tomato and they did not grow, so you must dry the seeds. By Dajavooi from Independence, MO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Two assassins are hired to kill a dictator in South America. They follow his every move for months, and find out that every day at noon he goes outside and does his stretching exercises. So the assassins set up shop right across the street, get all of their sights set, load the guns, and have everything ready to go. Noon comes, no dictator...... 10 minutes longer........no dictator. One assassin turns to the other and says, "Gee, I hope nothing happened to him."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
Linda and Marion were comparing notes on the difficulties of running a small business. "I started a new practice last year," Linda said. "I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months." "Why in the world would you do that?" Marion asked. "It's the best way I know of to learn which ones I can do without," Linda said.

» Right Angle Fotos
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 136 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 544 )
Fake virus alert 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, April 8, 2010

Architecture is the art of how to waste space. --- Philip Johnson A specification that will not fit on one page of 8.5x11 inch paper cannot be understood. --- Mark Ardis
"When you exit this vehicle, please lower your head and watch your step. If you fail to do so, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you."
While meeting with a client he wished to impress, a big executive flipped on his intercom and barked to his secretary, "Miss Jones, get my broker on the line." "Yes sir," came back a loud voice, "stock or pawn or marriage?"
Thanks to Angie for this picture:
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Tasha Lee Cantrell, 19, of Fort Walton Beach, Florida Underage drinking in cop carTasha Lee Cantrell. The 19-year-old Floridian was riding in a car early Monday morning when the vehicle's driver was pulled over and arrested for DUI. As a tow truck arrived to remove her friend's car, a stranded Cantrell asked Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office Deputy Mitchell Landis for a ride home to her Fort Walton Beach residence. Landis agreed, but only after checking Cantrell's purse for any contraband, according to an offense report. While chauffeuring Cantrell, Landis heard the teenager "open a can of some sort" in the back of the cruiser. The can had not been in her purse, or it would have been confiscated during the purse check. "As I looked at my in car video I observed Cantrell drinking out of an unknown can." Landis stopped his car and, upon further investigation, determined that Cantrell had popped open a can of Steel Reserve, a malt liquor known for its high alcohol content. "When I opened the rear passenger door I observed Cantrell attempting to hide the can between her legs. I retrieved this can and noticed it was Steel Reserve Beer," reported Landis, who immediately arrested Cantrell for underage drinking. Instead of being shuttled to her doorstep, Cantrell, pictured in the below mug shot, was rerouted to the sheriff's office, where she was booked on the misdemeanor charge. Tasha Lee Cantrell, 19, of Fort Walton Beach, Florida Glamor shot courtesy of the sheriff's office.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Elen Re: Fake virus alert I have been advised from two different email addresses that I recently tried to use to send to that the Disturbing Squirrel Postcards website - http://www.greysquirrel.net/postcards2.html - which is part of your network, tried to load a virus into the message. I am not sure you are the right person to report this to - but I did not see another address for problems. This was detected by Norton Utilities. Thank you, Ellen Stenstrom Dear Ellen Some disturbed morons lied to you. The postcards are on a UNIX server, not on a Windows computer. It is physically impossible for Mypostcards.com type cards to carry a virus, and they are purposely designed so that they can't carry ANY attachments. Site owners like GreySquirrel just supply pictures, music, and safe text. Card senders can select from those pictures and music and text, and can add their own text. That's it. Nobody can add a virus or any form of malware. We control the hard compiled UNIX software on the servers, and nobody can mess with that. Don't worry about the postcards, worry about those morons! Either their machines are infected and giving them false warnings, encouraging them to download fake anti-virus stuff that actually contains trojan programs, or else they are just making up lies to rattle your chain and make you look silly. Have FUN! DearWebby
Two die-hard golfers saw some kids fishing at the lake. One said to the other, "Look at those idiots fishing in the rain!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Knit Shawls in the Spring It's Spring and scarf season is over - so if you are a knitter - switch over to rectangular shawls. It's the same only a bit longer and wider! And you can use up leftover yarn by using a different yarn per each row or so. By Pamphyila from LA, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Golfer: "Well caddy, do you like my game?" Caddy: "Very good, sir! But personally I prefer golf."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
A car was involved in an accident. As one might expect, a large crowd gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story, pushed and struggled to get near the car. Being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, "Let me through! Let me through please! I am the son of the victim." The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a donkey.

» Photos by George Wetter
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 105 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 340 )
File Error Notification 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, April 7, 2010

A coupla months in the laboratory can save a coupla hours in the library. --- Westheimer's Discovery Language is the source of misunderstandings. --- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Sound travels slowly. Sometimes the things you say when your kids are teenagers don't reach them till they're in their 40s.
There was a Captain of a ship, and everyday at a certain time he would lock himself up in his cabin and look inside a mysterious black box. He did this every day, but he told nobody what was inside that box. Then one day he died and in his testament he wrote: "Now you can open the black box." So they opened the black box. And what they found was a piece of paper, on it was written "Starboard is right, port is left."
Thanks to Kay for this picture:
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Donald Wolfe, 55, Brookville, Pennsylvania Drunk man tried to revive roadkill A US man has been charged with public drunkenness after he tried to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to roadkill. Police arrested Donald Wolfe, 55, after witnesses reported seeing him trying to revive a long dead possum, reports the Philadelphia Inquirer. One reported seeing Mr Wolfe kneeling before the animal and gesturing as though he were conducting a seance. Another reported seeing him give mouth to mouth resuscitation to the carcass on a highway north-east of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. State police trooper Jamie Levier said the animal had been dead a while. Trooper Levier says the Brookville man was "extremely intoxicated" and "did have his mouth in the area of the animal's mouth, I guess". A possum is about the size of a domestic cat. The animals are known for feigning death when threatened, hence the phrase "playing possum".
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Elvira Re: File Error Notification Dear Webby I got this email telling me about some file error notification, and to click on some weird address to diagnose and fix it. Is that legit? Elvira Dear Elvira Do NOT click on anything in that email. Delete it, then dump it from the trash. If you click on that, your computer is infected with a ransom-ware trojan virus, that you probably can't get rid off without formatting and re-installing Windows. Have FUN! DearWebby
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Give him a modem, and he won't bother you all night.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Grate Orange Rind Before Eating No new tip today Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Upon her engagement, the exuberant young woman went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
Ms Leibovitz heard rumors that there was sexual harrassment going on at New York City Transit and went to work there. However, when nobody lived up to that rumor and provided her with any sexual harrassment, she sued the Transit authority, that having to worry about getting sexually harrassed or not, was a form of sexual harrassment and caused her to gain weight. She was originally awarded $60 000, however last Wednesday the Second Circuit Court of Appeals threw out the jury award and reversed a lower court judge's ruling supporting it. As of now, not getting sexual harrassment is not a form of sexual harrassment.

» The Skinny on Vinegar
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 117 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 481 )
Which LCD monitors are better? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats. --- Howard Aiken The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase; if you pursue happiness you'll never find it. --- C. P. Snow
A young woman was preparing a ham dinner. After she cut off the end of the ham, she placed it in a pan for baking. Her friend asked her,"Why did you cut off the end of the ham"? And she replied ,"I really don't know but my mother always did, so I thought you were supposed to." Later when talking to her mother she asked her why she cut off the end of the ham before baking it, and her mother replied,"I really don't know, but that's the way my mom always did it." A few weeks later while visiting her grandmother, the young woman asked, "Grandma, why is it that you cut off the end of a ham before you bake it?" Her grandmother replied ,"Well dear, otherwise it would never fit into my baking pan."
Little Johnny was rough housing with his dog. His mother said to him, "Now, Johnny, I know you love Wilbur, but you're loving him too much. How would you feel if someone huge picked you up and squeezed you so hard you couldn't breathe?" Little Johnny thought a moment and then said, "I guess I'd feel like it was my birthday and Aunt Agnes was here to squeeze the cake out of me!"
Careful!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Alexa Gonzalez in New York City US girl sues for $1m over arrest for desk scribble Alexa Gonzalez was led out of her school in handcuffs by police A 12-year-old US schoolgirl is suing the New York City authorities for $1m (£650,000) in damages after she was arrested for writing on her desk. Alexa Gonzalez was led out of her school in handcuffs by police after she was caught scribbling a message to her friends with an erasable, green marker. Miss Gonzalez and her mother are suing the police and education departments in New York City. They are claiming for excessive use of force and violation of her rights. Miss Gonzalez was caught scribbling "I love my friends Abby and Faith" on her desk during a Spanish class in February. The 12-year-old said her Spanish teacher then "dragged" her to the dean's office, where eventually police had to be called to deal with her. Miss Gonzalez told the New York Daily News she broke down as she was led out of Junior High School 190 in Queens in handcuffs. She said she was then held at a local school precinct for hours in what she calls a traumatising and excessive ordeal. New York City officials, considering that the schools and police have too much money, chose not to back them up and announced the arrest was a mistake, saying better judgement should have been used by the arresting officers. Miss Gonzalez was suspended from school and tried in a family court, where she was given eight hours of community service and ordered to write an essay about lessons to be learned from the incident. Her family's lawyer said the school had overreacted by calling the police. He of course did not mention any difficulties the dean's office had in dealing with her. "We want to stop this from happening to other young children in the future," the lawyer, Joseph Rosenthal, told the New York Daily News. Even if the schools and the police get off, the public admission of a mistake, instead of an internal action, will cost the city a lot of lawyer bills.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Andy Re: LCD monitors Dear Webby While shopping for an LCD monitor I noticed that some of them have a soft and flexible surface and others have a hard glass surface. Which are better? Andy Dear Andy The hard glass surface monitors are a class better than the ones with the soft plastic surface. The glass does not scratch and is not fussy about how you clean it. The soft plastic does not protect the fragile glass behind it, it just glosses over the coarse resolution of a cheap monitor. It gives you, at first glance, the impression that you got a reasonably high resolution, but when you look closer you see that fine details are mushy. Glass front monitors are usually more expensive, but provide a class better resolution. For example, on the Lenovo LP201p, that I use, writing that can be covered up with a wooden match, is perfectly legible, sharp and without jaggies, and it has the 1600 x 1200 resolution, that I need. yes, you CAN get 1600 x 1200 LCDs with proper 4:3 ratio, but not at Walmart or other bargain places. Even though good monitors costs more than bargain monitors, they still cost less than eye glasses. Have FUN! DearWebby
I find it strange that all those psychics claim they know my future and the winning lottery numbers, yet they fail miserably in predicting that I dump their mail without reading it.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Grate Orange Rind Before Eating Before I eat an orange, or use the juice of a lemon, I always grate the rind off, and keep frozen in a container. Then when a recipe calls for either, I always have some zest on hand. Handy to have to whip up a special salad dressing, too! By Pergammano from Galiano, B.C. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
A young minister, in the first days of his first parish, was obliged to call upon the widow of an eccentric man who had just died. Standing before the open casket and consoling the widow, he said, "I know this must be a very hard blow, Mrs. Jones. But we must remember that what we see here is the husk only, the shell -- the nut has gone to heaven."

» feeding eagles at Comox
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 152 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 483 )
Which mouse lasts longest? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, April 5, 2010

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. --- Mae West
John: I got this great new hearing aid the other day. Mary: Are you wearing it now? John: Yup. Cost me four thousand dollars, but it's the best that money can buy. Mary: What kind is it? John: Twelve-thirty.
Morris was at his usual place sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of smarts and common sense. He turned to his wife Sherry, with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest bozos get the most attractive wives." His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!"
Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!" Another one said, "How do you know?" The first inmate said, "Because God told me!" Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did NOT !!"
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this piture: Should I pounce on my sister, or should I have a nap?
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Franchesca Dominique Edwards, 25 from Norfolk, Virginia Naked in elevator A Norfolk woman was arrested at the new Hilton Hotel & Spa in Short Pump Friday night after being found nude in an elevator with a toy gun. According to Henrico Police, 25-year-old Franchesca Dominique Edwards was found after “strange noises” were heard in the elevator around 8:30 p.m. A hotel staff member asked Edwards to leave. When she refused, she pulled a fake gun, reportedly a cap pistol, on the employee, who then called police. Glamor Shot at the Cop Shop tastefully dressed in a prison shirt. The woman was arrested by authorities at the hotel, in the 12000 block of West Broad Street, in the parking lot. Edwards was charged with indecent exposure and brandishing a weapon.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Maryann Re: Which mouse lasts the longest? Dear Webby I use my computer a lot, and when I don't, my hubby does. It used to be that a decent mouse lasted as long as a computer, but that sure doesn't seem to be the case any more. My half year old Logitech mouse starts freezing the curser, and only unplugging it for a moment or moving it to another USB port gets it working again. Then it works for a few minutes, and freezes up again. Even though crawling under the table and unplugging and replugging the stupid mouse in the dark is probably good exercise, I am sick and tired of it. It's not the USB port. When I got fed up enough I borrowed an old mouse, on which the Paste button is worn out, from my son. Other than the missing Paste, it works fine and never freezes the curser. Is there any way to fix my wired Logitech Laser mouse? If not, which mouse lasts the longest? Thanks Maryann Dear Maryann That mouse has timed out, and is not fixable. If you bought it at Staples and you stil have the receipt, you can trade it in for another one. For the first six months, that is a great mouse, unfortuunately they die young if used a lot. If you don't have a receipt, or if you bought it at Walmart, dispose of it. The mice I get the most hours out of are Microsoft mice. The Laser 6000 and the Intellimouse Explorer both last a couple of years. They don't seem to count the usage hours, and their weak point is the first few inches of cable, not the electronics. THAT is easily fixable. Just shorten the cable a few inches, and it is good for another year or two. Have FUN! DearWebby
Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her boyfriend know it, too. "A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry," she told him. "Really?" asked the boyfriend, "And just how many men are you intending to marry?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Cereal Bags to Leftover Store Ham This is the perfect way to save your Easter ham. A big ham fits perfectly in a recycled bag from a large box of cereal. For ham, I especially like the very large corn flakes bags. It's wonderful as you have no mess with going in and out of the bag as anything messy stays inside the bag. The ham can be "carefully" sliced inside the bag, if you're just slicing a small amount and don't want the mess. You can save the messy stuff inside the bag for future recipes. I save all cereal bags when the box of cereal has been eaten as they are too good to throw away. In my opinion, they are better than anything you can buy to store food or other things in. They're even good to cover seeds, that you have started indoors. Like Thrifty Fun, cereal bags are absolutely wonderful! By Suzy from Clinton, TN. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Neither of Sue's kids ever understood her logic. Somehow they failed to see why THEY had to go to bed when SHE was tired.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

» EGGS, not just for frying
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 98 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 509 )
IE messing up Gmail 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, April 4, 2010
Happy Easter,  !

Remember what Easter is all about?


Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance. --- Sam Brown, Washington Post, 1977 I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. --- Gilda Radner
The world is full of willing people: some willing to work and some willing to let them.
A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.
When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family." "Your mother's side or your father's?" the doctor asked. "Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family." "Oh, come now," I said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?" He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!"

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Apolonio Lopez, 44, of Apolonio Lopez, 44, NM Sent in by Cat 18th DUI Man arrested 18 times for DWI Published : Friday, 02 Apr 2010, 11:27 PM MDT ALBUQUERQUE (KRQE) - An Albuquerque man who has 17 prior DUI arrests on his record was busted again Friday night after a Bernalillo County Sheriff's Deputy said the man almost rear-ended his police cruiser going 87 miles per hour. Apolonio Lopez, 44, was driving behind a deputy around midnight on Interstate 25 near the Albuquerque Sunport when he approached the deputy's car at a high rate of speed, according to a report from BCSO. The deputy said he was forced to swerve to avoid being hit by Lopez.After that, the deputy got behind Lopez and pulled him over. According to the report, Lopez smelled of alcohol and was slurring his speech. Lopez had a 0.18 percent blood-alcohol level, more than twice the legal limit, a BCSO spokesman said. He was out on probation Friday night for driving on a revoked license. "He has no reason to stop, he has none," Atkinson said. "Going through the court system seems to be a hobby for him." In addition to his 18th DWI arrest Friday, Lopez was also arrested for reckless driving and speeding. BCSO said the car he was driving belonged to someone he lives with.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Nub Re: Hey Webby, Got a problem with the images in your letters. There aren't any, displayed anywhere, all I see are little boxes. If I click on a box, I get transferred to a copy of the letter with the images included. Sometimes I get a copy of the same letter I had to start with, sometimes to a letter which is completely different. I have Gmail and it has always served me well. I have had your letters for many years and never a problem. I enjoy your no nonsense, straight forward approach to the giving of advise to old goats like me that are Computer challenged. Thank you sir... Nub Dear Nub That sounds like a typical IE "feature". It seems that Microsoft is trying to start a pissing contest with Google. There have been no changes in the Humor Letter. The only thing that changed is the recent IE updates. The solution is switching to FireFox or any browser other than IE. The same emails suddenly look just fine and the way they are supposed to, when you view them with FireFox, Chrome, Opera, Safari or Camino. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Jai for this one: How would you pronounce this child's name? "Le-a" Leah?? NO Lee - A?? NOPE Lay - a?? NO Lei?? Guess Again. This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. It's pronounced "Ledasha", When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash don't be silent." SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash. If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent. An ifn dey axe you how to ponounce L8r=a, it's like the honkeys would pronouce Latreesha, but wif an ebonic haxent.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shaving Cream for Emergency Carpet Cleaning After coming home from a twelve hour day at work, I was greeted by my loving, newly adopted Boxer! I was also met with a stench that would wake the dead, and when I looked inside my home. I saw a dog parent's worst nightmare: projectile diarrhea on my light beige carpet covering approximately 15 square feet! Having no name brand carpet cleaners in the house, I had to get creative and fast before I passed out from the sight and smell. To my surprise and delight the following procedure worked flawlessly for the stain and smell. I ran into the shower and grabbed my Gillette Foamy shaving cream. (After cleaning up what I could wearing gloves and a respirator), I squirted the foam on each of the separate 18 (yes 18) soiled areas. I let it sit for about 10-15 minutes. Then, with a towel that was dampened with hot water, I agitated the spots and EVERYTHING came out instantly! I have found this works better than all the name brand, expensive carpet-stain removers on the market! By Greg from Columbia, SC Editor's Note: Be sure to use the old fashioned white shaving cream. Using a gel based shaving product will not have the same effect and may stain your carpet. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Man: "Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?" Bystander: "It's a girl. She's my daughter." Man: "Oh, please forgive me, sir. I had no idea you were her father." Bystander: "I'm not. I'm her mother."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

» Keeping the Young ones Busy
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 134 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 369 )
Is it safe to uninstall IE8? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, April 3, 2010

The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving. — Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr
One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her back yard and ran out swinging her rolling pin. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned a half hour later with a black eye as well. "Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asked. "No sir," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake."
"I would like some vitamins for my son," the mother said as she walked into the pharmacy. "Vitamins A, B, or C?" asks the pharmacist. "It doesn't matter, he can't read yet."
Thanks to Sandie for sending this picture:
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Thaylin Shawn Pierce, of Billings, Montana Drunk at 11th DUI sentencing BILLINGS, Mont. (AP) - A 49-year-old Montana man who was intoxicated when he came to court for his trial on a felony drunken driving charge has pleaded no contest to his 11th DUI. Thaylin Shawn Pierce, of Billings, entered the plea Thursday. He's free on bond until his sentencing June 22, and will probably make it an even dozen by then. Pierce was charged in November 2008 after he tried to drive after being kicked out of a casino. His trial was scheduled to begin Wednesday, but the judge suspected Pierce was intoxicated. A breath test showed Pierce had a blood-alcohol level of 0.093 percent. Negotiations for a plea agreement began. One of the conditions was that Pierce had to return to court sober the next morning to enter his plea. Pierce has nine previous drunken driving convictions in Colorado and another one in Wyoming.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Guinn Re: Dear Webby, Hi, Webby. We got a new computer that should have had IE6 installed but find we have IE8 instead. I know that we can download IE6 but is it safe to do so and then uninstall IE8 and install IE6? Will it mess anything up? Thanks for any help you can give us, Guinn Dear Guinn I doubt that you can uninstall IE8 safely. Just use FireFox and don't worry about it. Have FUN! DearWebby
A man who smelled like a bar at closing time, flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained and his collar showed some liptsick smears. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked, "Say,Father, what causes arthritis?" "It's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol and a contempt for your fellow man!" "Well, I'll be damned," the drunk muttered, returning to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" "I don't have it, Father, I was just reading here that the Pope does."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Glass Jars for Homemade Iced Tea Save money, calories and chemicals going into your body by re-purposing store-bought glass tea jars for homemade ice tea. Clean the bottles after you're finished with your drinks (or get friends to give you some), then make a big batch of tea on the stove by boiling water and adding the tea bags to steep. I add some honey to mine and then when it cools down, I pour it into the glass bottles. I keep these in the fridge (make caffeine-free and caffeinated ones separately) and grab when I'm going out the door. I save money on the tea, limit calories of a caffeinated soda, and don't have to ingest all those chemicals that come from a soda! By Erin from Blue Bell, PA Once it gets warm enough to really enjoy ice tea, you can easily make it in gallon pickle jars set in a sunny spot that is sheltered from the wind. In spring and fall you can use a miniature greenhouse like the ones made for growing herbs on window sills or a tomato cage with a clear plastic bag to shelter the jar. Make sure you don't put the lid on tight, because with a mini greenhouse it will come to a boil quite easily. Depending on my mood, I also toss a quarter lemon or orange in with the teabags. A one CDN gallon jug will fill 18 250 ml drinking bottles but only need 3 - 4 tea bags for sun tea. With the smaller US gallon jugs (3.8 Liters instead of 4.5 Liters) you can fill 15 of the 250 ml drinking bottles and 3 teabags are usually enough. To decant from the jug into drinking bottles, put a small non-slip pillow or sponge near the edge of the counter, set the jug on it and tilt it. If you have arthritis or klutzy members of the household, you can get a jug tipper for $16. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Morris and Sam have been at odds all through the school year, however, they decide to forgive each other for any unkind actions and thoughts for the holiday. "And," says Morris, "I wish you, what you would wish for me." Sam yelled, "Are you ALREADY starting getting hostile again?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked

» Avoid Boredom
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 181 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 502 )
Copy to another machine on the home network 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, April 2, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

A philosopher is a sort of intellectual yokel who gawks at things that sensible people take for granted." --- Alan W. Watts
Thanks to Art for this story: A property manager of single family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. "Professionally employed?" he asked. "We're a military family," the wife answered. "Children?" "Oh, yes! Ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly. "Animals?" "Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved."
Stalin appears before Vladimir Putin in a dream, and asks what he can do to help. "What can I do?" Putin groans. "The economy is collapsing, the miners are on strike, the army is useless and nobody treats us with any respect." "Shoot the entire government and then paint the Kremlin blue," says Stalin. "Why blue?" "I had a feeling you'd only want to discuss the second half."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture:
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Rep. Hank Johnson, D-Georgia Rep. Hank Johnson: Guam could 'tip over and capsize' Johnson expressed his worries during a House Armed Services Committee hearing on the defense budget Thursday. Addressing Adm. Robert Willard, who commands the Navy's Pacific Fleet, Johnson made a tippy motion with his hands and said sternly, "My fear is that the whole island will become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize." Talking very strained and slowly, like somebody who was was trying to sound sophishicated after a large breakfast of spiked water melon and hash brownies, he also mentioned that he ish very concerned about glow-bull warming. Video of it is at http://snipurl.com/hankjo
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Megan Re: Copy to another machine on the home network Dear Webby, I need to copy a bunch of files from my laptop to the desktop once a day, but really don't want the rigmarole of manually stepping 27 levels deep down into Documents and Settings, etc. on both machines. There MUST be a better way for doing that! Megan Dear Megan First make sure you got the address bar on top of the File Explorer turned on. Next clear a spot on your desktop big enough for two icons, preferably along the edge, where you let the important icons peek around open windows. Open a File Explorer and waddle down to that folder on one machine. Open a second File explrer and waddle down to that folder on the other machine, ready to drag the files from one machine to the other. Now look at the address bar on top of each File Explorer. At the left of the address bar you will see a tiny icon. Drag that to the prepared spot on the desktop, and rename it to for example DskTop Do the same with the File Explorer showing the laptop, and rename the shortcut LAP From now on you just hit those two icons, and File Explorers will open up already set to those specific directories, ready for you to drag the files across. If you are not scared of the raw DOS command line, and if you or anybody is interested in it, I'll show you how to make a bat, that will copy the files across whenever you click on ONE icon. Have FUN! DearWebby
The judge read the charges, then asked, "Are you the defendant in this case?" "No sir, your honor, sir," replied Jill, "I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'. I'm the person who done it."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Finding Extra Plants in Pony Packs I'm frugal, but do afford myself the "luxury" of buying the small plants for my backyard raised garden and flower beds. Today I decided to get started with the planting and stopped to by a few plants from a mom and pop's roadside stand not far from home. Upon examining the little four-packs, which they sell for $1.25, I realized that many of the packs had two or more plants growing in each of the four cups. By spending a little extra time looking, I was able to buy packs with as many as 9 plants in them rather than the 4 which are usually in the ones which come from the big box garden centers who get them from huge greenhouse operations. I saved money; I kept the profit to the merchant in our community; and I got very healthy plants that hadn't gone through several days of shipping and stocking. By Sandy from Elon, NC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Only yesterday in 1898 it was made illegal to package children up and send them by parcel-post. Seems the kids kept getting out of their boxes and playing with the mail.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
Sign in a veterinarian's office: All unattended children will be given a free kitten.

» Whether the Weather
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 117 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 549 )
Spell check Script error in IE 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, April 1, 2010

A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way. --- John Tudor The public will believe anything, so long as it is not founded on truth. --- Edith Sitwell Whatever it is the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government do it to somebody else. --- PJ Orourke
From APC The Chinese Government has announced that it has leveraged it's 61% ownership of Yahoo-China into taking over the financially insolvent parent company. With the unlimited funds at their disposal, they plan to not only stop Google from annoying them, but to use the New Yahoo to beat them into bankruptcy. They announced that there will be no noticeable changes for Yahoo users. The yahoos are expected to blame the planned censoring on routine Yahoo malfunctions. Since the yahoos don't complain about those, China does not anticipate losing significant numbers of Yahoo subscribers.
The man looked a little worried when the doctor came in to administer his annual physical, so the first thing the doctor did was to ask whether anything was troubling him. "Well, to tell the truth, Doc, yes," answered the patient. "You see, I seem to be getting forgetful. No, it's actually worse than that. I can never remember where I park my car, where I'm going, or what it is I'm going to do once I get there -- if I get there. So, I really need your help. What can I do?" The doctor mused for a moment and considered the real priorities, then answered in his kindest tones, "Pay me in advance."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture:
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Patricia Edwards, 51,in Sanford, Florida Florida Woman Robs Bank, Citing Her 'Bucket List' What's on your bucket list? For a Florida woman who says she suffers from leukemia and bipolar disorder, robbing a bank was something she wanted to do before she dies, she told MyFoxOrlando.com. Patricia Edwards, 51, walked into a Bank of America branch last week in Sanford, Fla., and handed a teller a note demanding money. "There was no plan, no nothing, just impulse," Edwards told the Web site in an exclusive interview from the Volusia County Jail. "I just walked by. I said, 'I'm gonna in there... passed a note to gain some cash and I left." Asked why she committed the crime, Edwards said: "Because it was something I had on my bucket list... I think everyone should have a list of things they want to do before they expire." Edwards, who was arrested three days later, said she suffers from non-terminal leukemia and bipolar disorder and was not taking her medication at the time. Edwards, who remains held on $20,000 bail on two counts of robbery, told MyFoxOrlando.com she regrets the bank heist.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ken Re: Spell check script error in IE Dear Webby, Lately about 95% of the time when I ask for "spell check" in my Google gmail I get the following instead of a spell check, something I need to make my mail look good. Stop running script? A script on this page is cusing Internet Explorer to run slowly. If it continues to run, your computer might become unresponsive. Thanks again for all your help. Ken Dear Ken That's just a routine Microsoft "feature". If you use FireFox, you will never see that problem again. There MIGHT be a fix for that "feature", but why bother? FireFox is way ahead and sooner or later you will upgrade to it anyway. Have FUN! DearWebby Dear Webby Not only did you solve my spell check problem, my butterfly problem (images not showing) disappeared too!! Big thanks!! Ken
A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one - none of that three wishes jazz, OK?" The man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying, and ships make me claustrophobic and ill. So, I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii." The genie was taken aback a bit, but after some thought said, "No, I don't think I can do that; think about the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement and steel and concrete that would be needed. I'm sorry, you will have to choose another wish." The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "There is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why do they get upset at us so easily, what do they really mean when they say 'NOTHING is bothering them', what are their true desires and needs? Basically... what makes them tick?!?" The genie stared at him for a while, and blinked a few times. Finally, after what seemed hours, he replied: "So, do you want two lanes on your bridge, or four?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making a Paper Easter Basket Too long for here You can read it at http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?" After a dramatic pause and precisely six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered. "Yes. Yes, I will." The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges and they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?" He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart." Then she continued, "And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
Not long after their wedding, the newlyweds awoke early one morning. The couple had been up for quite a while before they met again in the kitchen. Marriage was agreeing with the husband, and he greeted his new wife with glee and excitation that morning. "If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready." "Great! What are we having for breakfast?" he asked "Toast and juice." replied the bride.

» Best 100 of 0401
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 114 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 342 )
$3 Earthlink Account 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, March 31, 2010


The strongest human instinct is to impart information, the second strongest is to resist it. --- Kenneth Grahame Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal. --- Henry Ford
A lady goes into the local sporting goods store to buy a fishing rod to give to her husband for his birthday. A salesman wearing dark glasses with a dog is behind the counter and asks, "Can I help you ma'am ?" "Well, I'd like to buy a fishing rod, can you tell me about this one?" she answers. The salesman replies, "I'm sorry ma'am but I am blind and can not see the rod your referring too. However, if you'll drop it on the counter I'll tell you all about it as I can tell from the sound it makes." The lady picks up the rod, and does what he says and drops it on the counter. He belts "That's a Zebco 2500, fiberglass, 6.5', medium action - $15." Lady - "Wow !" She finds another and does the same. "Thats an Orion 35C, graphite, 6', light action - best used with ultralight tackle - $20." Very impressed the lady decides to buy the second one. As the man is ringing up the sale, the lady feels the gasses produced by the beans at lunch to rumble and escape, but feels no need to apologize as the salesman is blind and has no idea who she is. Salesman says, "That'll be $25." "TWENTY FIVE DOLLARS !? YOU SAID $20?" "That's right mam, $20 for the rod, $3 for the duck call, and $2 for the stinkfish bait."
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a university graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture:
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Iulian Breazu, 24, in Sibiu, Romania Dancing while drunk driving A Romanian lorry driver, who was filmed dancing while driving his lorry with his feet, has lost his licence for drink driving. Iulian Breazu, 24, became an internet sensation when the clip of him frantically gyrating around his cab was uploaded onto YouTube. Authorities in his native Romania have now put the brakes on his antics after he was caught behind the wheel at more than double the drink drive limit. Traffic police in Sibiu confiscated his licence for 90 days - and ordered him to take a safety test before he gets it back. "He has clearly had it coming and the road is a safer place without him on it," said one officer. The dopy driver horrified thousands of road users with his film of himself dancing around his truck cab to wild gypsy music.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Don Re: $3 Earthlink Dear Webby, I noticed your note about a $9 Earthlink account this morning. I have had Earthlink for a number of years and I have been very satisfied with the service. Since going to a broadband connection and wishing to keep my Earthlink address, I now subscribe to the service that does not provide any dial up access which is less than $3/month and I am able to still maintain my Earthlink address. I am sure you are aware of this but perhaps your subscribers are not. Don Calhoun, GA Dear Don Earthlink has so many different plans, I doubt that I know about more than half of them. Sometimes, it seems, they make up a brand new, even better deal, on the spur of the moment. It definitely pays to chat with them! I have used Earthlink when traveling since 1995 and as backup for whenever my local DSL fails, for the last 10 years. Thanks for telling us about the $3 piggy-back deal! Have FUN! DearWebby
Little Johnny sneaks up behind a girl and yells: "BOO!" "Hey!" exclaims the girl, you scared me half out of my pants!" Johnny responds: "BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO BOO!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Rising Costs of 3D Movies Due to a recent a raise in the price of 3D movies you now are paying nearly $15 to see a movie in 3D in most areas. That's $5 more than seeing the non-3D version of the same movies. A family of four can save $20 by opting for the non-3D alternative. Lewis from Port Orchard, WA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

In a traffic court of a large Midwestern city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer for a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a schoolteacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case so she could get to the school on time. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You're a schoolteacher, eh?" he said. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. I've waited years to have a schoolteacher in this court. Sit down at that table and write 500 times: ‘I drove through a red light even though I knew it is against the law.' !"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
Old man Murphy had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the widow Murphy of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned." She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?" "Knowing Murphy like I do, I don't think so," said the foreman, "He climbed out of the vat three times to go to the men's room."

» Quarter backs
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 1631 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 477 )
Email sending limit 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, March 30, 2010


I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. --- Augusten Burroughs A clever man commits no minor blunders. --- Goethe
Thanks to Cookie for this: I was out with family and friends at a local pub, and I really stuck my foot in my mouth! They had a contest going on at the pub —and of course we all joined in. I was doing quite well, proud of being able to answer all the questions. I lost out on winning the pub quiz by one point. The question was, "Where do women mostly have curly hair?" Apparently its Africa
Adam and Eve must have had a great marriage. Adam couldn't talk about his Mother's cooking, and Eve couldn't mention all the men she could/should have married.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dorota Mildrowska in Otwock, Poland. Snake in suspect's bra Police arresting a suspected drug dealer got the shock of their lives when a 4ft snake suddenly nipped out of her bra. The python had been curled up around the breasts of suspect Dorota Mildrowska in Otwock, Poland. Police had arrested her over bags of amphetamines which they'd found at her apartment. Officers admitted they had not searched her immediately after her arrest to avoid breaching her human rights. "We respect human rights and so no one thought to look inside her blouse," said a police spokesman. They resisted the temptation to immediately shoot the snake, but are still researching how many laws Dorota broke.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann D Re: Can't send more than 3 lines Dear Webby, - have to keep this small. How can I check to see if I have clicked the wrong thing? Can't send out any but the smallest emails. Tried Eudora, Thunderbird and Outlook..no luck. Can you help? Thanks Ann Dear Ann You mentioned on Skype that "Anything over about 3 lines it says that my provider has terminated... or some such words...they haven't...spent hours with the "techs" at Shaw to try and see if it was them." Ann, when 3 totally different email programs produce exactly the same error, then the problem is not at your end, it is at your provider's end. The error "provider has terminated" spells it out clearly enough. You can easily prove it to them by getting a $9 Earthlink account, and then use Eudora to mail them a 25 MB PPS file. If they still argue, send them the same file again with Thunderbird and Outlook. Shaw has good connectivity, but they are traditionally very weak on the email side. Have FUN! DearWebby
Little Harold was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Finally, when he could take it any longer, he jumped up, and yelled above the noise, "For Pete's sake, Harold, can't you play something the dog doesn't know?!" ------ That reminds me, ... do you know the main difference between a violin and a viola ? A viola burns longer.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Picking Up Straight Pins I've been sewing on my kitchen table without using a pin cushion because I couldn't find it! So I took a lint brush, the sticky kind, to gather up the straight pins instead of sticking my fingers. Works great! By Tammy from NovaScotia, Canada Any magnet, even a fridge magnet, works fine too. Best are the flexible strip magnets for hanging up screwdrivers and pliers. If you glue a bit of sheet metal to the outside of your sewing box, you can attach the strip there. Needles, thimbles or scissors tossed in the general direction of the strip get snagged out of mid-air and neatly held. When done, you just peel the strip off the sheet metal anchor and toss it into the sewing box. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water wiggled about, happy as a worm in water could be. Then he put the second worm into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and it quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked. Little Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded, "If you drink whiskey you won't get worms!!!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what's my problem?" Doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water."

» Water Drop
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 187 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 437 )
Facebook Virus? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, March 29, 2010


All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others. --- George Orwell A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended. --- Evan Esar
3 year-old Kelli went with her neighbor girl to church for First Communion practice. The pastor has the children cup their hands, and when he gives them the Host-in, this practise case, a piece of bread- he says: "God be with you." Apparently this made quite an impression on Kelli. She came home and told her mother to cup her hands and bend down. Kelli took a piece of bread from her sandwich, placed it in her mother's hands, and whispered, in her most angelic voice: "God will get you."
Two writers of modern poetry who had been bitter rivals for years met on a busy street corner. "You know, since we last met, my audience has increased!" the first said. "Congratulations!" the second one said. "How did you do it? By marriage or by adoption? "

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Krystal Gardner, 28, of Tool, Texas Woman tosses baby into SUV to block repo Mar 25, 4:18 AM (ET) DALLAS (AP) - A woman is accused of throwing her year-old son into her SUV in a failed attempt to stop the vehicle from being repossessed in Dallas. Krystal Gardner of Tool was jailed Wednesday on bail of nearly $3,800 on charges including child endangerment related to abandonment, no driver's license and no insurance. Recovery agent Luke Ross told KTVT-TV that he was in the Ford Expedition when he saw Gardner toss the baby through an open window. He said the baby landed on the seat "like a kid bouncing on a bed." Texas law bans a vehicle from being repossessed if a person is inside. Police were called. Krystal Gardner was arrested, the baby was removed for placement with his father. Ross then repossessed the SUV.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bertha Re: Facebook Virus Dear Webby, a couple of weeks ago, earthlink sent an email saying they would not deliver an email from facebook , I had deactivated the account because it had a virus, today someone sent me a note from there, when I went to log on to facebook, I had a note saying that there was a virus at the facebook account.. what do you suggest, I want to get in there and delete my account but I am afraid to, and I do not have virus protection. your expert advice is appreciated.. Bertha Dear Bertha I don't think you can infect Facebook. They don't use Windows, they use Linux. Most likely your computer is already infected. Those fake Facebook Virus messages are probably from the infection in your computer, not from Facebook. By not using virus protection, you are contributing to the spread of viruses. Have FUN! DearWebby
Wife: "I'm happy to see that the neighbors finally returned our lawn mower before they moved. They certainly had it long enough." Husband: "*Our* lawn mower? I just bought it at the garage sale they're having."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Q-Tips to Apply Goo Gone I absolutely LOVE the product Goo Gone! I use it a lot! I have discovered a very economical way to use this product. First, I buy the large package of cotton swabs at the Dollar Tree for $1.00. There were 300 swabs in the package that I purchased. Second, you can find a small bottle of Goo Gone also at the Dollar Tree. When I need to use Goo Gone, I simply put the tip of the cotton swab at the opening of the Goo Gone. I put just enough Goo Gone to fill the tip and begin using the loaded cotton swab on the stickiness that I need to remove. I use the stem of the swab as my tool to work the sticky off the surface. If I don't need to use the other end, I just pop the swab into two pieces and discard the used side. I save the other end for the next time. By Southeastgeorgiapeach from Jesup, GA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

One day little Johnny was in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decided to investigate. "Whatcha doin?" he asked. "My budgie bird died and I'm burying him," Johnny replied. "That's an awful big hole for a little bird, ain't it?" asked the neighbor. "That's because he's inside your big, fat, dead cat!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he gets to the gates there are two lines. One has a sign over it that States "I did everything my wife told me to." The second line has a sign that states, "I made my own decisions." Joe comes up and gets in the first line that wraps around and around and goes on for eternity. As he's standing there he notices the second line only had one man standing in it. He asks the guys in front of him, "Who does he think he is? Yeah right he made his own decisions. " After long thought and not coming up with any reason for why this man was standing in the line by himself he goes up to him asks why he is in that line. The man replies, "I don't really know. My wife told me to stand over here."

» Unseen Academicals
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 226 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 286 )
Are computers getting dumber? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, March 28, 2010


Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. --- W. C. Fields All phone calls are obscene. --- Karen Elizabeth Gordon Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens. --- Nick Diamos
On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness -- and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single."
Seen on a T-shirt: "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?"
Thanks to dad for this picture: Echinomastus-acunensis
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Memeth J in Basel, Switzerland Too hot to handle A punter's night in a transexual brothel turned out hotter than he'd bargained for when a fire swept through the place trapping him naked on the balcony. The horrified customer risked burning to death rather than reveal his face once he realised TV crews and cameramen were watching the blaze in Basel, Switzerland. He was only persuaded to leave the balcony when firefighters promised to let him cover his face. "I just hope people can't tell who I am from my bottom," explained the punter, identified only as Memeth J by police to spare his blushes. "I'm gay and was visiting a friend but my family don't know about me so I couldn't show my face."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Alexa Re: Computers getting dumber Dear Webby, Is it just me, or is it true that the quality and performance of laptops has gone down? You can't even get any with regular screens any more, just the low height rejects. Are they keeping the ones, that are good enough for regular screens for first class countries? The same goes for the Operating System. Nobody, except a few paid magazine writers, wants that flakey Vista or W7 that Microslop is trying to force down our throats. I have tried them on other people's computers, and both Vista and W7 are pathetic. I am not a conspiracy fanatic, but it sure feels to me as if something is afoot to dumb down the masses to the same pathetic level our education system is in. Is it just me, or is that what is going on? Alexa Dear Alexa I was at the computer store today, getting a cable, when I witnessed an incident, that really opened my eyes. There was this lady, who, judging by her posture, vocabulary, and volume must have been a drill sergeant, or maybe she still is. She was extremely displeased about all the shiny new laptops there having the sawed off low height screens, and called the prim and proper salesman a "Useless Skunk-fu***r" for trying to ram sawed off rejects at Americans, while Asians get the good full size screens. I admit, she had a very valid point there, and she sure got it across at max volume. Shy and demure were probably the only words not in her vocabulary. Then she realized that all machines were pre-loaded with Windows 7, and really got hostile. When it looked like she was going to toss the salesman through the display isle any moment, I tapped her on the shoulder, and motioned "Outside" with my head. I'll say this for her, she was instantly in control, stopped in mid word and followed me outside. There I suggested that she not waste her time with those idiots, just go to Staples online and buy a refurb XP laptop with regular screen for $350, to tide her over until she could order a decent new machine from Asia or Europe. Chances are, though, that a refurb like that will do her just fine for many years. That sure made her day! Alexa, hopefully that information will help you too. Yes, there is indeed something nefarious going on, when people have to buy refurbished old machines, if getting work done is a priority. The new ones are just not good enough. I too use those refurb XP machines from Staples. They have good 4:3 ratio screens, not the sawed off rejects, and they come pre-loaded with XP-Pro. AND, Staples delivers them without charge. They can't keep them stocked in stores, but ship them instantly, if you order them online. By the way, they ship it in a box stuffed with wadded up recyclable brown paper, that you can toss onto the compost pile. No hassle with foam and plastic. Have FUN! DearWebby
In the toilet at a client's office, the boss placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it, "THINK!" The next day, when he went to the men's room, he looked at the sign and right below it, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read, "THOAP!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Install a Carbon Monoxide Detector Carbon Monoxide Detector (Too lng to print here) Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!" The passenger apologised and said he didn't realise that a little tap could scare him so much. The driver replied "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving hearses for the last 25 years!!!!!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
Printed sign near door: Door Alarmed. Handwritten sign nearby: Window frightened.

» Touchables
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 139 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 558 )
No sound in PPS 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, March 27, 2010


No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to say them deliberately. --- Michel de Montaigne The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it. --- Flannery O'Connor
Thanks to Carol for sending this link to today's new volcano Awesome pictures!
Thanks to Dianne for this story: A Jewish woman goes to see her Rabbi in Bnei Brak ( a town in Israel ). ' 'Yankele and Yosele are both in love with me,'' she says. ' 'Who will be the lucky one?'' The wise old Rabbi answers: "Yankele will marry you. Yosele will be the lucky one."
A father says, "Marry a girl who has the same belief as the family." Son replied, "Dad, why would I marry a girl who believes I'm a schmuck?"
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture:
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to an improperly dressed drunk in Sudbury, Ontario Sent in by Jackie Man in underwear charged with impaired driving SUDBURY, Ont. - A man who showed up at a convenience store in sub-zero weather wearing only a jacket and underwear has been charged with impaired driving offences. Sudbury police said when officers arrived at the store Thursday night, they determined the man was intoxicated and had driven to the store. His car was towed and police suspended his licence for 90 days. The 41-year-old man is charged with impaired operation of a motor vehicle and blowing over the legal alcohol limit for driving.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Cookie Re: No sound in PPS Dear Webby, I use ‘Open Office” as you advised but…I cannot get sound when I play pps files in it. Can you help me out with this problem? Thanks, Cookie Dear Cookie Hit F5 to play the PPS. It knows that usually you just try to snag pictures, so it opens that way by default. F5 switches to Auto-Play. ESC switches back. Have FUN! DearWebby
While enjoying an Early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona truckstop, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather to how things used to be in the "good old days." Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, "Roy, aren't you and Bea celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary soon?" "Yup, we sure are," Roy replied. "Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?" another man asked. The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, "For our 25th anniversary, I took Bea to Mesa. Maybe for our 50th, I'll go down there and visit her."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reviving Limp Celery and Carrots I had some celery in my fridge which had gone really soft and limp. I was complaining about it to a friend (since it was almost an entire stalk!) and he told me that the celery was just dehydrated and it was easy to get it back to its original state. Just cut the bottom of the stalk, then use a pitcher or vase, fill with water and put your celery in. Within a few days it will be crisp again! This can also be done with carrots (bottom part at the bottom of the pitcher). By Lisa from Halifax, NS Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Woman's Quote of the Day: "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner with." Men's Counter-Quote of the Day: "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
An obstetrician sometimes saw rather unusual tattoos when working in labor and delivery. One patient had some type of fish tattoo on her abdomen. "That sure is an unusual looking whale," he commented. With a sad smile she replied, "It used to be a dolphin."

» TV Theme Song Quiz
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 185 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 56 )
Fix ActiveX problems 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, March 26, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops


And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." --- Abraham Lincoln I just need enough to tide me over until I need more. --- Bill Hoest
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe." Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000." The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon. "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits!"
You're in incredible shape," the doctor said. "How old are you again?" "I am 78." The man said. "78?" asked the doctor. "How do you stay so healthy? You look like a 60 year old." "Well, my wife and I made a pact when we got married that whenever she got mad she would go into the kitchen and cool off and I would go outside to settle down." the man explained. "What does that have to do with it?" asked the doctor. "I spent a lot of time in the great outdoors."

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 53 year old drunk driving mother in Detroit Detroit mother arrested for being drunk while driving to daughter's school Police arrested a Detroit mother on a charge of drunken driving, after her daughter refused to get into the car with her as the woman tried to pick the girl up from Ferndale High School on Friday mid-afternoon. The woman was arraigned Saturday on charges of driving drunk, fourth offense; driving with a suspended license, and possession of marijuana. A field sobriety test found the woman's blood-alcohol level at 0.28, more than three times the legal limit of 0.08, Ferndale Police Lt. William Wilson said. She was given a $56,000 cash bond at her arraignment in 43rd District Court and is being held in the Oakland County Jail, Wilson said. "This is a serious case with the repeat offenses, and going right on the school grounds, makes it extremely treacherous," Wilson said Monday. School staff called police after the woman, 53, appeared drunk when she asked the principal to call her daughter out of class about 3:30 p.m. Her daughter refused to get into the car with her. The Free Press is not naming the woman to avoid racial profiling and to protect the girl's identity. A responding Ferndale police officer watched the woman try to park the car, administered sobriety tests and then arrested her. Investigators who searched the car found marijuana and the prescription drug Xanax. A computer check showed that the woman had been convicted of drunken driving four times, was driving with a suspended license and had a warrant out for her arrest, Wilson said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Alice Re: Active X not working Dear Webby, Thanks for all the great information, laughs, and just plain good fun. I soo need your help. I recieved a message on my PC that my Active x is turned off, therefore, I'm unable to see all of the graphics. I am using a Dell Office Pro PCw/ Internet Explorer XP. Please Tell me how to either turn it back on, or how to re-install it. Thank you so very much. Alice Dear Alice From Settings, Control Panel in the Start menu, or from Tools on the Internet Explorer menu bar, select Internet Options. Click on the Security tab, then the Custom Level button. Then click on the checkmarks for ActiveX (there is more than one). That should do the trick. If you use FireFox, you don't have to worry about ActiveX. Have FUN! DearWebby
A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'come fly the friendly skies'?" Joe answered the correct airline. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?" And John answered, "Mom."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recycle Wood Shavings in the Garden Place wood shavings around your plants to prevent them from getting sandy from rain or watering. This also retains moisture, conserving water, and prevents weeds from growing through. Wood shavings can be bought at many garden shops. They may also be available from cabinet builders or wood workers. By Marilyn from Colfax, LA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said. "So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don't know," responded the other. "I'll ask him." So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?" "Intelligence," the boss said. "What do you mean, 'intelligence'?" The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can." The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed his hand at the last moment, and the ditch digger hit the tree. The boss said, "That's intelligence!" The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did he say?" "He said we are down here because of intelligence." "What's intelligence?" said the friend. The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, Take your shovel and hit my hand."

» Lilies Wild & Tame
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 215 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 526 )
HP.exe problem and Sasser worm 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, March 25, 2010


Q: What was the most positive result of the “Cash for clunkers” program? A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road. --- Letterman
A young couple had a flat tire outside the fence of a mental institution. The wife was leery of the inmates wandering inside the compound, but there was a swift creek separating them and her husband said it was OK. He took off the four lug nuts and set them into the hubcap to keep them from rolling away. Well, when he rolled the spare tire along the car, he rolled it over the edge of the hubcap and the nuts went flying into the creek. He tried wrapping a coathanger around the lug bolts, but as soon as he lowered the car, the wheel popped off to the great amusement of the spectators behind the fence. After a few more similarly hilarious attempts, finally an inmate behind the fence told the young man to take one nut from each of the other tires and put them on the spare. It would be safe enough to get them to a service station a few miles away. "That's pretty smart for a guy in your place," the husband said. The inmate replied: "I may be crary, but I'm not stupid."
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?"

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Joseph Nicalaskey and Cesasr Alvarez-Jennings and two women in Anchorage, Alaska Teens steal pizza, face SWAT team Written by Jason Zasky as part of Failure Analysis March 23—The pizza at Sicily’s in Anchorage, Alaska, must be really, really good. So good that it’s worth dying for—or at least spending years in prison. On Sunday night, four youths—two 19-year-old males and two females (ages unknown)—robbed a Sicily’s Pizza delivery driver at gunpoint. The driver resisted and a struggle ensued, but the quartet eventually secured the pizza and ran off. They did not take the driver’s money. The driver followed one of the females—who apparently wasn’t as fleet of foot as her accomplices—to a nearby apartment. When Anchorage police arrived on the scene they took the slow girl into custody, but the males—Joseph Nicalaskey and Cesasr Alvarez-Jennings—and the other female barricaded the door and refused to come out. “They communicated to the officers that they knew they were going to jail and didn’t want to come out because they wanted to eat the pizza,” said Lt. Dave Parker. Police subsequently called in a SWAT team, which broke into the apartment and arrested the trio. The males were charged with first-degree robbery, third-degree assault, and resisting an officer. The females were charged with robbery and assault. Read more: http://failuremag.com/index.php/failure ... z0j9twMA8G
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Helen Re: HP.ex and Lsass problem Dear Webby I have been receiving this error message at start-up for a few days, Runner Error: Runner file name (Updates from HP.exe) lacks a '-' and I have no idea how to deal with it. In addition, I have received an error message twice this week telling me that my system was going to be shut down and re-started. I was given 60 seconds to close all programs. I only had time to write down part of the message that referenced lsass.exe. Any idea if this could be caused by a virus? I am running BitDefender on Windows XP. I assume these are two separate problems, but I really don't know. Any information or suggstions you might have would, once again, be greatly appreciated! Thank you, Webby! Helen Dear Helen That could be a problem with the HP software. Try HP Support chat: http://www.hp.com/country/us/en/supp...isplay=support Enter your model number, then on the bottom right it should give you the online chat support option. HP support is not nearly as bad on the text chat as they are on the phone. It could also be that your machine is infected with the Sasser (lsass) worm, but HP should be able to tell you whether the HP.exe is acting like the Sasser worm, or if HP is only one or a bunch of problems. The 60 second shutdown warning is actually a typical sign of the Sasser worm. The most common sign is that your machine will indicate that there is a problem and will reboot in 60 seconds. The message caused by Sasser should indicate that the problem is in LSASS.EXE. Another sign of infection is that it will prevent you from going to or downloading McAfee or any anti-virus programs that can kill the worm. It doesn't block the freebie programs that are no threat to it. There are quite a few programs on the net that can get rid of Sasser. Look for one that is not currently blocked by your worm. Good Luck! DearWebby
A Congressman is awakened in the middle of the night by his wife who whispers, "I think there's a thief in the house." "Not in the House," her husband says. "In the Senate, yes, for sure, my dear, but in the House we don't call each other thieves."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Your Kids School Projects As our children grow, we save a lot of the "odd" things they make at school, church, etc. In scrapbooking, it is impossible to include most of those items. You don't want to toss it, "Timmy made it" for me. So do the next best thing and then you can scrapbook it and "scrap it" too! Take a clear photo of the item, place it in your scrapbook and journal the details, then toss the item. If you think your child might want to see it one last time, ask if they do first. Otherwise, you have the memory but not the box of stuff you have nothing else you can use it for. By Robin from Dover, FL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Joe, John and Big Bob were moving furniture. While Joe and John were struggling with a particularly heavy oak wardrobe. Joe noticed that Big Bob was nowhere in sight. "John, where's Big Bob?" asked Joe. "He should be helping us with this thing." "He is helping," said John, "He's inside holding the clothes hangers in place!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
The President was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. "Mr. President," said the four-star general, barely to contain himself, "there's good news & bad news." "Oh, no," muttered the President, "Well, let me have the bad news first." "The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet." "Gosh, and the good news?" "The good news, sir, is that they eat treehuggers and politicians, and they sweat gasoline."

» Popular Science 1950 Edition
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 185 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 495 )
Cleaning keyboards 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass-produced with unskilled labor. --- Werner von Braun
A southern woman was rushing to get ready for church. She ran frantically throughout her house, tore through her closet, threw her clothes over her head and ran out the door to her car. When she arrived at the church, she saw a man coming towards her. "Tell - me," she panted in her southern drawl, "is - m - ass - out?" "Nope," the man replied, but yer hat's on crooked."
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother!"

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Carly Houston, 29 of naperville, Illinois Sent in by Jackie Z Jailed woman called 911 A woman who was arrested and thrown in a jail cell was charged again while sitting in her cell after she allegedly made a call to 911 saying she was "trapped." The Naperville Sun newspaper reports Carly Houston was arrested early Sunday morning in Naperville, Illinois, after she allegedly got in a heated argument with a cab driver. Police told the 29-year-old Chicago woman she could call a relative or friend to come post her bail. Instead, the woman allegedly called 911, telling the dispatcher she was "trapped inside the Naperville police detention facility." The newspaper reports Houston was initially charged with theft of labour or services, criminal trespass and disorderly conduct. She was later also charged with making a false 911 report. http://www.torontosun.com/news/weird/20 ... 28111.html
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Frank Re: Cleaning keyboard Dear Webby We had an argument at work about cleaning keyboards with canned air. I distinctly remember that you got quite irate about that idea a few times. Do you still feel that way about it? Frank Dear Frank Yes, and I always will feel that way about it. I highly recommend turning the keyboard upside down, and repeatedly and emphatically beat anybody, who wants to use canned air, over the head with it. That will shake all the cookie crumbs, paperclips, french-fry fragments, etc. out and won't hurt the keyboard at all. Then, if you didn't hit the bonehead hard enough or often enough, use a vacuum cleaner to get any remaining dirt out. After that, spray it lightly with Window cleaner and wipe it with a moist, but not dripping, soft sponge. Dry with an old t-shirt rag or any soft and absorbent rag. Canned air contains difluoroethane, or propane, or similar propellant, and is explosive, when used indoors. Or in vehicles. The guy who used canned air in this truck had to spend four days in hospital afterward. I bet he would have preferred it, if some kind soul had gonged him with a keyboard and 'splained things to him before he did that. In addition to that, dumb kids "huff" that stuff, because it makes them feel dopey, and every year a few of them die from that. Why risk all that, just to blow dirt from place A to place B? If you don't have a bonehead talking in favor of using canned air, or recommending VISTA, stick the keyboard into a garbage bag, and bash it upside down onto a desk or the floor. All the dirt will fly out of it and be neatly contained in the bag. Then vacuum, spray, wipe and dry it, and it is clean. Have FUN! DearWebby
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm. "This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather for the remaining of the shoot. However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks. Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?" The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "My TV is broken."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Be Grateful for What You Have The recession has taught me the difference between wants and needs, and how grateful I am to have a warm home, loving family and friends. Some things money just can't buy! By Mary from Marshalltown, IA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Linda said: The preacher came to call the other day. He said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. I told him, "Oh I do it all the time. No matter where I am, in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen, or down in the basement, I ask myself, "Now, what am I here after?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a farmer. "Look at it this way." he said finally. "How would your wife carry on if you should die?" "Well..." drawled the weather-beaten man, "I don't think that'd be any concern of mine -- long as she behaves herself while I'm alive."

» Aurorae
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 138 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 625 )
Is there an F1 Virus? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, March 23, 2010


Historically, the claim of consensus has been the first refuge of scoundrels; it is a way to avoid debate by claiming that the matter is already settled. --- Michael Crichton
The trendy dresser fancied himself quite a romeo, and was delighted to find a note pinned inside a new shirt. It contained a girl's name and address, and asked the recipient to send a photograph. How romantic, he thought to himself, very taken with the idea of this mystery woman so eager to meet him, and promptly mailed off a note and a photo.Heart aflutter, he opened her response. It read, "Thanks for writing. I was just curious to see what kind of guy would buy such a goofy shirt."
Thanks to my dad for thios picture: This one bloomed today.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jennifer Mercado, 20, New York Juror accused of credit card theft NEW YORK (UPI) -- Police in New York said a juror in a credit card theft trial allegedly stole a fellow juror's credit card to use on lunch break shopping sprees. Investigators said Jennifer Mercado, 20, who was sitting on a jury for a burglary, grand larceny and possession of a stolen credit card trial, allegedly swiped fellow juror John Postrk's American Express card and used it to buy $500 worth of merchandise, the New York Daily News reported. Mercado claimed Postrk, 49, gave her permission to use the card March 8 because "he came on to me." "It's a he-said, she-said situation. In court, they will find out he's lying," she said. Postrk said prosecutors have asked him not to speak about the case. Mercado, who was removed from the jury, was arrested March 12 and charged with grand larceny, stolen property, identity theft and unlawful use of a credit card. She faces up to four years in prison if convicted.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Moo Mom Re: Is there an F1 Virus? Webby? Is there such a thing as F 1 Key Virus going around ???????????? Some one sent me something as a virus warning for this. Thanks, Moo Mom Dear Moo Mom Yes, there is indeed a virus that activates when you hit F1 AFTER an email or page tells you to do that. If any email or page tells you to hit F1, get outa there fast! Without clicking on anything at all. Hitting F1 is OK if it is your own idea, and not somebody elses, but even then it is safer to click on HELP than hitting F1. Have FUN! DearWebby
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything." "That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer. "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?" he asked.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save and Reuse Snack Containers When I purchase pudding, yogurt or even jello, I save the plastic containers and wash them thoroughly with soap and water. They are the right size to either put snack such as raisins or trail mix in for kids. They are the perfect size to put paint and water in when kids want to paint. I love this because the containers are small enough for kids to hold. My daughter loves it. By Chris from Ohio Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

One day a salesman stopped by the Jammer Jones farm, knocked, and Jammer's wife Frannie came to the door. "Is your husband home, Ma'am?" he asked. "Sure is. He's over to the cow barn." "Well, I got something to show him, Ma'am. Will I have any difficulty finding him?" "Shouldn't have any difficulties... He's the one with the beard and mustache, - and no horns."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
A man entered the florist shop and ordered a bouquet of flowers to be delivered to his wife. When asked what he wanted on the card, he replied that no card was necessary as she'd know who they came from. Shortly after the flowers were delivered, the florist received a frantic phone call from the wife asking who had sent the flowers. The florist told her that the sender requested no card be included. "Please, I've GOT to know WHO sent these flowers BEFORE my husband comes home for lunch!"

» Gypsy Vanner
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 184 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 717 )
Alternative to WinZip 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, March 22, 2010


An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered. --- G. K. Chesterton Man is so made that he can only find relaxation from one kind of labor by taking up another. --- Anatole France
A woman called in a repairman to fix her television. Just as he finished, the woman heard her husband's key in the lock. "Hurry," she said to the repairman, "you'll have to hide. My husband is insanely jealous." There was no time to run out the back door, so the repairman hid inside the TV console. The husband came in and plopped down in his favorite chair to watch some football. Inside the TV, the repairman was all squashed up and getting hotter and hotter. Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore. He climbed out, marched across the room and out the front door. The husband looked at the TV set, looked at his wife, looked back at the set again and said, "I didn't see the referee send that guy off the field, did you?
Thanks to Donna for this picture: We live in Plano (Collin County) TX..population a little over 200,000 and about 20 miles north of Dallas. Sure enjoy your newsletter and all of your expertise. I save all of your hints in a folder aptly named Webby's Hints for future reference. Donna
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dragutin Cabor, 19, of Edmonton, Alberta Sent in by Jackie Z Thief busted after flipping off cops KENORA, Ont. -- In hindsight, an Edmonton man should have let the Kenora OPP officer pass him by without drawing attention to himself. However, after waving his hands at a passing officer on patrol in the area of Highway 17A and Highway 641 and continuing to the point of a rude gesture, the hitchhiker had the officer at the point of feeling a need to address the subject's actions. The officer learned the man wanted a ride to the nearest town. After some discussion the officer chose to assist the man and in the process became aware of two credit cards that did not belong to him. The officer decided to look further into the property in his possession. The investigation revealed the man was in possession of two stolen credit cards, stolen GPS, iPod charger and a Black Berry which he had obtained from various sources while travelling through Winnipeg. Dragutin Cabor, 19, of Edmonton has been charged with possession of property obtained by crime. http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2 ... 6-qmi.html
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Mike Re: Win Zip alternative Hi Webby Is there anything else I can use besides Win Zip to open Zip files ? Mike in Nevada Hi Mike Yes, sure! There are lots of zip programs available free. One that comes to mind is 7-zip from http://www.7-zip.org/ Have FUN! DearWebby
Two old farmers were discussing how productive their bulls were. One farmer said he had a problem with his bull but the vet gave him some medicine and he was jumping on everything on the farm. The other farmer said his bull was not doing to well either and asked what medicine the vet used so he could get some. The first farmer said he didn't know the name of the medicine but it tasted like chocolate.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use an "Old" Slipper for Waxing Floors This is a cleaning tip with funny story! I was preparing to wax my floor the "old fashioned way" as my mom always did, on my hands and knees, when I remembered a pair of plush slippers that my daughter just threw out due to a crack along the bottom of them. Since I didn't have the waxing mop that this product called for, I just slipped my hand into the slipper and turned it upside down on my hand and used the top portion of her slippers! I really felt like a genius until I slipped out of my new slippers into shoes to get the mail and upon my return, accidentally grabbed and used my new slippers to finish the waxing job! Guess I need to change my name from AHA to HAHA! Keep Smiling! Source: This could ONLY come from MY MIND! ;) By AHA! from Sterling, PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Q: What is the difference between a psychotic and a neurotic? A: A psychotic thinks that 2 plus 2 makes 5. A neurotic KNOWS that 2 plus 2 makes 4 -- but that is just not good enough for her. (or him)
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
The two teenagers were arrested for public lewdness and possession of marijuana when they were found naked, each smoking a joint, sitting on the edge of the fountain in the town square. The arresting officer told them they were entitled to a phone call, since he was unable to reach either parent. Some time later, a man entered the station and the sergeant said, "I suppose you're the kids' lawyer." "Nope," the chap replied. "I'm just here to deliver them a pizza."

» Lens Captures
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 228 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 856 )
Can I use Irfanview for re-sizing? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, March 21, 2010


If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error. --- John Kenneth Galbraith
A guy was visiting his friend in the hospital who was 'all torn up'. "What happened?" he asked. "Well," explained the patient, "we were hunting the Mumba snake. It has yellow and black stripes. It likes to sun itself lying across a pathway in the jungle. You catch it by grabbing the tip of its tail with one hand and quickly running your other hand up the length of its body so you can grab it behind the neck." "Go on," the friend said. He continued, "Well, at mid day the shadows and the lit parts of the jungle sometimes make it difficult to see every detail, so when I sneaked up to the snake lying across the jungle path, I pounced on it in a flying leap, grabbed it by the end and rapidly moved my other hand upward ... just as the procedure goes." "So why are you so beaten up?" the friend asked. The patient said slowly, "Did you ever goose a *tiger*?"

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to an American illegal border crosser. Sent in by Jackie Z Bordercrosser with axe, guns on bike stopped by cops By QMI Agency Saskatoon police have arrested a man they say crossed the border from the U.S. on a bike, carrying guns and an axe. The man, whose name hasn't been released, crossed over into Bromhead, Saskatchewan., according to a police statement. He faces five customs charges and nine weapons charges, and is set to appear in court on March 22. Police say the man told officers he was en route to visit a friend in Regina, and meant no harm. http://www.torontosun.com/news/canada/2 ... 94331.html
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sharon Re: Can I use Irfanview for re-sizing? Dear Webby, These pics are very unusual. They are very colorful. Thanks for sharing. You talked about infaview for viewing & some editing of photos. Are there any other good free programs to use to edit photos. I mainly want to be able to open & resize pictures & lighten them. I usually try to resize them to 480H x 640W to email them & put on disk to save. I was using Microsoft Picture It 7 but after having my pc reformatted I can't access it the way I used too. Thanks again for sharing your tips & humor with us. Sharon Dear Sharon yes, Irfanview would do nicely for that. There is a link to it in my Tool Box Just above that, there is a link to GIMP. Many people claim that the free GIMP is just as good as the $900 Adobe Photoshop. Personally, I use PaintShopPro, and have used it for 20 years now. If I didn't have PaintShopPro, I would probably use GIMP, because for what I do, it would be difficult to justify $900. Have FUN! DearWebby
I have been asked for more church bulletin board Ooopses. Most of these I have printed before at various times, but here is a batch that you can take to church today: *Women's Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication. *If you choose to heave during the Postlude, please do so quietly. *We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector. *Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford" *Sign-up sheet for anyone wishing to be water baptized on the table in the foyer. *Newsletters are not being sent to absentees because of their weight. *Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep. *The Advent Retreat will be held in the lover level of St. Mary's Cathedral. *The District Duperintendent will be meeting with the church board. *As soon as the weather clears up, the men will have a goof outing. *Fifth Sinday is Lent. *Thank you dead friends. *Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding. *Lent is that period for preparing for Holy Weed and Easter. *Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget all His benefits. *For the word of God is quick and powerful...piercing even to the dividing asunder of soup and spirit. *Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peach to men. *Definition: Persons who are shut-in during bath weather. *Bring one dozen coolies wrapped for Christmas. *The lovers in the exhaust fan are not working... *Volunteers are needed to spit up food. *Head Deacon and Dead Deaconess *We pray that our people will jumble themselves.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Today's tip is too long to fit here. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A bunch of guys decided one morning that they would go deer hunting. So they all piled into the station wagon with their guns and took off down the road looking for a place to go hunting. After driving awhile they came across an old farm house with a large spread of woods behind it. One of the guys went to the door and asked the farmer if they could hunt in his woods. When asked, the farmer said "Yes, sure, but would you do me a favor? The ol' bull in the corall there beside the house is on his last legs and I know he is sufferin', would you kindly put him down for me? I don' have the heart to." As the hunter walked back to the station wagon, he decided to play a prank on his fellow hunters. So when he got back to the station wagon he pulled out his rifle and said "..I'll teach that old coot for not letting us hunt on his property!" and shot the old bull. After he fired the shot, he heard another shot and another one, and one of the other hunters proclaim, "Yea, we'll show him... I got the cow and the calf, too!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
Linda went into the local bookstore and saw this big display with a sign saying "Newly Translated from the Original French: 37 Mating Positions." Noticing the books were already wrapped in plain brown paper, she just had to buy one. Once safely at home, she opened it and found that she had just purchased a very expensive book about chess.

» Honey
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 175 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 595 )
Irfanview for printing PPS pictures 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, March 20, 2010


The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. --- Larry Hardiman The only people who listen to both sides of an argument are the neighbors. --- Socratex
A class from a nearby university was visiting a major drug manufacturer. The tour guide led the students to a glass- enclosed room. They could see several people in white lab coats. With her back to the glass, the guide announced: "In this room researchers are actively searching for a cure for cancer." She stopped short as the group broke out laughing. Puzzled, the guide turned to look. Through the glass she saw three scientists in animated debate, flipping through the pages of a Boston Pizza menu.
A minister, a priest and a rabbi were enjoying the serenity of a country dipping pond. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, a group of very old ladies from town approached them. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the minister and the priest covered their privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover. After the ladies left and the men got their clothes back on, the minister and the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his privates. The rabbi replied: "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's my FACE that they would recognize."
Sea Slugs
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 20 year old former driver in Kelowna, BC Sent in by Jackie Z Smoking pot next to cop KELOWNA, B.C. — Lesson one for new drivers - don‘t drive and smoke pot from your bong next to a police van. A 20-year-old Kelowna, B.C., man learned that the hard way when a prisoner van covered with RCMP decals pulled up next to his passenger side at a red light. The driver reached for a glass bong, placed marijuana in the bowl, lit it and inhaled the smoke. “The policeman (was) right there, not more than five feet away,” said RCMP Const. Steve Holmes. “Clearly, the driver was oblivious to the large, white, fully marked police van.” Holmes said the Mountie pulled the man over and smelled the burning pot inside his car, which contained a small amount of cannabis and displayed an N sticker to designate a new driver. The man received a 24-hour driving suspension for operating a vehicle under the influence and a ticket for driving without reasonable consideration. The car was towed away, and the Insurance Corp. of B.C. must now determine whether he should be allowed to keep driving, Holmes said. (Kelowna Daily Courier) -------- BC is Canada's equivalent of California.Very Socialist, even the mandatory car insurance (ICBC) is run by the provincial Goverment. If they cancel his insurance, without refund, the car stays off the road. And just like in California, a lot of people in BC are not really sure, if Marijuana is legal or not. The RCMP is more interested in hard drugs, but obviously, blowing smoke at them is not a good idea.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carolyn Re: Irfanview Dear Webby, do you know anything about downloading Irfanview? Is it worth downloading and what is it used for? Someone told me you can print pictures from a power point picture with it. As always, I respect your thoughts and enjoy all that you send us. Carolyn Dear Carolyn Irfanview is a fairly good image viewer, and because it is free, it is quite popular. If you don't have a real graphics program like PaintShopPro, Corel Draw, Photoshop or GIMP, it is definitely helpful. You can do some basic graphic editing like resizing, cropping, rotating, sharpening, etc., but the user interface definitely takes some getting used to. Like PaintShopPro, it is easy on the computer resources, and won't bog down the machine. If you want to go a bit further than the very basics, there are a bunch of plug-ins that you can download and add into it. Keep in mind, though, it is intended as a VIEWER, with occasional, rare editing, not as a full featured graphics program. If you just want to print some pictures from a Powerpoint presentation, you can use Open Office. Just set the printer to for example Landscape, sized to fit the page, then go to the picture that you want, and hit the printer icon. Just don't tell the kids, or your ink will be empty. Have FUN! DearWebby
A preacher was really hitting his stride one Sunday, delivering a sermon on sin. "Is there anyone here who is without SIN?" he shouted, glowering at the congregation. Embarrassed parishioners stirred nervously in their seats, but no one stood. Feeling he really had them this time, the preacher roared, "Is there anyone here who thinks he or she is PERFECT?" One small man, seated next to a rather imposing woman, rose nervously to his feet. "So, Brother Jones, you think YOU are PERFECT?" Quietly the man replied, "No, Reverend, I'm just standing for my wife's previous husband."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Eliminating Leftovers and Food Waste It seems I am the only person in my home that will eat leftovers. Would you throw cold hard cash in the garbage pail or down the garbage disposal? Of course not, but allowing leftovers to go uneaten or allowing dairy products and produce to go bad is the equivalent of throwing money away. To demonstrate this, try this experiment for one week: Each time you throw a meal size serving into the garbage, set aside $2 (the approximate cost of a Lean Cuisine meal). In the same fashion, set aside the equivalent cash for each container of milk, sour cream, half consumed bottles of pop, half eaten pop tarts, bags of chips and stale or moldy sandwich bread you dispose of. You will be appalled at the amount of money you are throwing away! I guarantee if you do this for several weeks you will reduce your grocery bills. Plan on having a leftover meal a week to use up those leftovers or freeze and take in your lunch instead of purchasing a frozen meal. Do not purchase perishable items unless you have a plan to use them before they expire. As potatoes or onions near their shelf life, cut and freeze for hash browns or to use in casseroles in the future. Place a large container in the freezer and place tablespoons of vegetables or roast beef into it. When the container is full, we add a can of tomato sauce and have a deliciously rich beef vegetable soup. This is a great way to use up leftover vegetables! With a bit of practice you can slash your grocery bills and stop throwing money away - literally! By Diana from Prospect, KY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

An American journalist was stopped at a Russian Checkpoint in Chechnya. The Russian soldier said, "Get out of the car and open the trunk!" The American replied, "I'm sorry, but the handbrake on the rental car is broken. I can't take my foot off the brake or it'll roll back down the hill." So the Russian says, "Do you take me for a FOOL?!" as he slides into the passenger seat, and stamps his big boot onto the brake pedal. "Now, go and open the trunk!" So the journalist reluctantly complies with the soldiers request and goes and opens the trunk of the car. "Now", shouts the Russian from inside the car, "Is there any contraband in there?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
When Patty, was very young, she was allowed to have her best friend, a boy named Rory, over to spend the night. As the children grew toward adolescence, their parents knew that someday the sleepovers would have to end. One night, when Rory and his family were visiting, everyone gathered around the television to watch the Miss America pageant. When Patty asked if Rory could stay over, the parents hesitated, wondering if the time had finally come to discontinue the tradition. At that moment, the pageant host announced a contestant's measurements: 38-22-34. "Rory," his mom asked, "what are those numbers?" The boy thought for only a moment before responding, "Ninety-four?" Rory got to spend the night....

» Behind 4 civic groups
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 240 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 740 )
Juno for DSL 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, March 19, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps. --- Benjamin Disraeli The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do." --- B. F. Skinner
A teen-aged boy with spiked hair, nose ring and baggy clothes was overheard telling a friend, "I don't really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from dragging me to church and everywhere with them."
A reporter from New York was visiting an old colleague who now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town. "I don't see how you do it," the NY reporter said. "How can you drum up interest in the news when everybody in town knows what everybody else is doing and with whom?" "Sure they know," the editor said, "but they read the paper to see who got caught at it."

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Nathanael Christian, 21, in Paul's Valley, Oklahoma 'Religious' man watched porn at churches PAULS VALLEY, Okla. (UPI) -- Oklahoma police said a man accused of breaking into churches to watch porn told investigators he targeted the facilities because his family is "very religious." Pauls Valley police said Nathanael Christian, 21, was charged with four counts of second-degree burglary for allegedly breaking into four churches on at least eight occasions to use the Internet connections at the facilities to view pornography, The Oklahoman reported. Investigators said Christian made $300 worth of calls to phone-sex lines during one break-in and stole laptop computers during two of the crimes. Detective Derrick Jolley said police asked Christian why he targeted churches. "(Christian) just said 'my family has always been very religious' with a look on his face that indicated it made sense to him," Jolley said. Jolley said Christian, who was being held at the Garvin County jail, admitted to the break-ins and told police where to find the stolen laptops.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Elizabeth Re: Juno for DSL Dear Webby: Re: the letter from Bob about faster internet service through a phone line, I use Juno DSL. After using Juno dial-up for 8 years, I switched to DSL 2 years ago and am very happy with it. Let Bob know about this option. I do have friends, though, who use Comcast and are generally pleased with it, though it occasionally "goes down." Elizabeth New Jersey Dear Elizabeth That is good to hear! Juno has a reputation of being a free or cheap, but slow last resort in rural areas, where you can't get anything else. I am glad that they are now offering high speed DSL too, at least in some parts of the US. Have FUN! DearWebby
Bubba was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. "Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?" He was acquitted.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Color Seeds With Flour for Planting When you are about to sow your vegetable or flower seeds, you will find that the color of the very small seeds, blend in with the color of the earth. My tip is to mix the seeds with a little baking flour. You will then sow the seeds evenly in the dark soil. The result being even rows, and not over seeded. By Dunno from Malvern, UK Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight point buck. "Where's Henry?" "Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail." "You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" "A tough call," nodded the hunter, "but I figured no one is going to steal Henry."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop pretty high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. However, the next morning the kangaroo was out again, just roaming around the zoo. The zoo officials raised the height of the fence to twenty feet. Again, however, the next morning the kangaroo was again roaming around the zoo. This kept on, night after night, until the fence was sixty feet high. Finally, the camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?" The kangaroo replied, "Probably a hundred feet, unless somebody fixes the lock on the gate."

» Endangered Species
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 177 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 599 )
Wants faster Internet 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, March 18, 2010

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. --- James M. Barrie The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank. --- Dante Gabriel Rossetti
Late one afternoon, the Air Force guys out at Area 51 are surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impound the aircraft and haul the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story is that he took off out of Las Vegas, got lost and found the base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force starts a full security check on the guy and hold him overnight. The next day they are finally convinced that the guy really was lost and is not a spy. They gas up his airplane, give him a terrifying "you did not see a base" briefing complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison. They say Vegas is that-a-way on this heading and send him off. The next day, here comes the Cessna again. Once again the MPs surround the plane, only this time there are two people in the plane. The same pilot jumps out and says: "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and SHE DEMANDS to know where I was last night."
Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong in heaven. Fidel must go to hell. So Fidel goes to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself at home. Then Fidel notices that he left his luggage in heaven and tells Satan, who says, "No hay problema, I'll send a couple of little devils to get your stuff." When the little devils get to heaven they find the gates are locked - St.Peter is having lunch - and they start debating what to do. Finally, one comes up with the idea that they should go over the wall and get the luggage. As they are climbing the wall, two little angels see them, and one angel says to the other, "My goodness! Fidel has been in hell no more than ten minutes and we're already getting refugees!"

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Pasquale Manfredi, 33, in Calabria, Italy Mafia suspect caught on Facebook Italian police have tracked down one of the country's most-wanted fugitive mafia suspects - on Facebook. Pasquale Manfredi, 33, was on Italy's 100 Most Wanted List and had been on the run for a year, reports The Sun. He called himself Scarface, after the film character, and was accused of being one of the top figures in the Ndrangheta mafia. The 33-year-old, who faces charges of murder, mafia association and drug trafficking, was seized in Calabria. Officers had been tipped off that Manfredi was on Facebook and regularly logged on using his laptop. Using electronic surveillance equipment, officers managed to track Manfredi to an apartment in Isola Capo Rizzuto, near Crotone in southern Italy. According to Italian newspaper La Repubblica, he was arrested as he tried to escape from the roof of the apartment complex. Manfredi had more than 200 friends on his Facebook site and police are going through them systematically, to see if any of them are involved in Mafia activity or are wanted.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bob Re: Wants faster Internet Dear Webby: I currently have dial-up internet service and I am trying to figure out if I can get a faster internet service through a phone line (rather than using cable). What are my options? Thanks. Bob Dear Bob AOL has never been accused of being second slowest. Check out local ISPs, or Earthlink.net, or Comcast.net or even Verizon. Chances are pretty good that you can get faster dial-up and maybe even DSL. I get 2.4 Mbps (about 70% of 3 Mbps) DSL over the phone line from a local ISP. And for back-up I have dial-up with Earthlink. Have FUN! DearWebby
It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA; they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime. As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, The head scientist at NASA, asked everyone to be quiet as he had received a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States. He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. "Mr. President," he said, grinning broadly, "after twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars." He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown. He said, "But that's impossible . . . we could never do it. . . yes Mr. President," and hung up the phone. He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously. "I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we've found intelligent life on Mars . . . he wants us to try to find it in Congress."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No new tip today Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

One company I worked for had an employee-suggestion competition, the entire staff was to submit entries that would save money for the firm. The winner was a man in my department who suggested we post corporate memos on bulletin boards, instead of printing 200 individual copies for distribution. He got a helium balloon with the company logo and one share of stock. A memo announcing the prize was printed and mailed out to 200 people who walked past the bulletin board every day.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
An elderly couple was watching television one evening. "I am going to get a dish of ice cream now," the wife said. Kindly, the husband offered to get the ice cream for his wife. "I'll write it down so you don't forget," she said. "I won't forget," the old gent said. "But, I want chocolate syrup and nuts on it. So, I'll write it down," she replied. "I will get you the ice cream. Don't you worry," replied the husband. A few minutes later, the old man returned with bacon and eggs. His wife said, "See, I should have written it down because you forgot the toast."

» Mini pets
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 213 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 896 )
Firewall turned off by malware 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Happy St Patrick's Day!

In this world there is always danger for those who are afraid of it. ---George Bernard Shaw Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous without ability. ---George Bernard Shaw
Two Irish mothers were talking about their sons. The first said, "My Patrick is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years." The other woman said, "Well, my Francis is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time." "My word," the first Irish mother said. "You must be so proud." "I am," the second mother replied. "And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him one heck of a big party."
Maureen was feeling a bit ill, and not recovering from a night out anywhere near as fast as Paddy. So he sent her off to the doctor. She came back shortly with a puzzled frown and said: "Oh, Paddy, he wants a "Specimen", but fo the life o me I don't know if we have one or if we can affod t'buy one!" Paddy hemmed and hawed for a while, but couldn't figure it out either. So he finally suggested: "me lass, why don't you go upstairs and ask Maud O'Reilly, she used to work the streets in town and she'll know." So Maureen climbed up the stairs and knocked. Not a minute later, screaming and cussing and the noise of a ferocious fight echoed down the stairwell, soon followed by much banging and clatter as poor Maureen came tumbling down the stairs. As Paddy helped her up he asked her what happend. "Oh Paddy, she's so mean! All I did was ask her what a 'specimen' was, and she told me to 'piss in abottle'! So of course I told her to shit in a hat, and the fight was on."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture:
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to D'Ann Seidell Bochese, 45, of Windham, Maine Too drunk and not wearing a seatbelt STANDISH, Maine -- The Cumberland County Sheriff's Department said alcohol, speed, and failure to wear seat belts played a major role in a fatal crash over the weekend in the town of Standish. Investigators said Tyler Gordon, 22, of Standish, was driving westbound at a high-rate of speed on Oak Hill Road -- near Serena Lane -- when D'Ann Bochese, of Windham, attempted to pass him. Bochese's car hit Gordon's and they both went off the road and traveled through a field about 200 feet before coming to a stop. D'Ann Bochese, who had not been wearing a seatbelt, was ejected from her vehicle and her body was found in a tree, 40 feet above ground. She was killed instantly. A passenger in her vehicle, Justin Gordon, 24, of Standish, a brother of the driver of the car that she hit, who had also not been wearing a seat belt, was also thrown from the vehicle. He is in critical condition at Maine Medical Center. Gordon's 1997 Subaru Legacy flipped end over end several times, coming to rest on its wheels. He and his two passengers, Chad Violette, 33, of South Portland and Zeke Malnchuck, 26, of Presque Isle were able to get out of the vehicle and back to the road on their own and were later sent to Maine Medical Center for a check-up.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Joseph Re: Firewall turned off by malware Dear Webby. In response to the letter from Ann S in this issue. I kept getting the same messages and could not open any programs or E mails . Then at times I could and then the message would pop back up and mess up my computer again. To make a long story as short as possible the last popup said I needed to download XP 2010 anti virus to fix the problem . Looked like a legit site so gullible me , I did it after sending 50 bucks . Then the problems went away. But , I started thinking something was not right .No way to uninstall, and a lot of other things that did not seem right. E mailed the address on the web site and tried calling the phone number. No results from either . A few days later I checked my credit card account and found I was billed for 50 bucks from , would you believe, WORLDWIDE SOFT.COM -- MOSCOW RUS . I got screwed . Free anti virus installed at the time . Don't know if my computer is still infected but seems to be working ok now. Now have a 30 day free trial of Avast .Am waiting to decide on avast. What u tink? Also my internet provider ( Verizon) offers a antivirus program . Please use my experience for others if you wish but please don't use my name because I am embarrassed !. Thanks for all your good tips and advice and a great letter ! Joseph Dear Joseph Sometimes the free programs, that are not quite good enough to sell, are not quite good enough protection. "XP 2010 anti virus" is the same crap as "XP 2009 anti virus" or "XP 2008 anti virus". Just a phoney scam to extort money from you. Removal instructions are here: Remove XP 2010 Print them out and follow them step by step, marking each completed step with a highlighter or pencil. Have FUN! DearWebby
Why don't you give up the drinking, smoking and carousing?' said the do-gooder. 'It's too late,' replied Murphy. 'It's never too late,' assured the virtuous one. 'Well, there's no rush then,' smiled Murphy.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing a Wet Paintbrush If you use paint in your crafting you may find that, in the middle of painting a project, you get called away from your project but you know you will be back shortly. Instead of rinsing out your paint brush, you can wrap it in a piece of plastic or a sandwich bag. Twist the plastic so it stays closed, keeping air from drying the paint on your brush. Then when you get back to your project all you do is unwrap your brush and go back to work. I have stored paint brushes for a couple of days this way. As long as the plastic is sealed the paint will not dry out, ruining your brush. By Arlene from Fort Myers, Florida Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

In Mulligan's bar, the young Salvation Army girl placed the collection box under the nose of Mick McCarthy and asked: 'Can you spare fifty pence for God?' 'How old are you?' asked Mick. Twenty-four,' she replied. 'Well, I'm sixty-eight, I'll see him before you do. I'll pay him meself.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
'I'll have fish and chips twice,' said Murphy. 'Very well,' said the shopkeeper. 'The fish won't be long.' 'Then they'd better be fat,' said Murphy.

» Mini Bonsai
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 497 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 281 )
Firewall turns off 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes. --- Henry David Thoreau, Walden In journalism, there has always been a tension between getting it first and getting it right. --- Ellen Goodman
Morris complained to his doctor, "I've been to three other doctors and none of them agreed with your diagnosis." The doctor calmly replied, "Just wait until the autopsy, then you will see that I was right."
When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Lonefold's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Rottweiler he had ever seen. But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business. However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant cursing, yelling, and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled: "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied: "Get him, Brutus!

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lukeisha A. Harris, 24 in Seattle Woman In Bust Hid Nearly $26,000 In Bra SPOKANE, Wash. -- A fraud bust, indeed: Spokane County sheriff's deputies said a woman was hiding nearly $26,000 in her bra when she was booked into jail for investigation of theft. Lukeisha A. Harris was one of three Seattle-area residents arrested Friday as part of an alleged fraud ring. Deputies said they used phony Oregon driver's licenses and counterfeit credit cards to obtain cash advances from Spokane banks. Sheriff's spokesman Dave Reagan said the three were arrested after a worker at one bank reported that they tried to obtain money using a stolen credit card. The investigators followed the ring to two other banks before making the bust. Reagan said that during a search at the Spokane County Jail, guards found that the 24-year-old Harris -- who is 6 feet tall and 400 pounds -- had the cash hidden in her bra, along with bank receipts.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Firewall turns off Hi Webby: Thanks for the great daily newsletter!!! I have a question about the firewall. Every couple of days, I get a message that my firewall is off, so I have to enable it again. Everything seems to be in order when I open the Firewall file. Is this something that happens with XP pro??? Thanks Ann S Dear Ann That is not normal with XP at all. However, if your computer is infected, then it will do that, no matter what operating system you have on it. Better run a proper check on it, and not with a freebie that is not quite good enough to sell for money. Have FUN! DearWebby
Two nuns were driving down a country road when they ran out of gas. They walked to a farmhouse and a farmer gave them some gasoline; but the only container he had was an old bedpan. The nuns were happy to take whatever they were offered and returned to their car. As they were pouring the gasoline from the bedpan into the tank of their car, a minister drove by. He stopped, rolled down his window and said, "Excuse me, sisters. I'm not of your religion, but if that car starts, I'm switching!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Add Veggies to Tomato Sauce Make your spaghetti healthier, tastier, and stretch farther using fresh, thin sliced carrots and/or thin sliced zucchini. It adds color and flavor to any tomato sauce and kids love it because the tomato disguises the taste of veggies just enough to please their pallet. You will know they are getting their vitamins, and they will know it's still fun to eat! When cooking up the spaghetti sauce, just add a cup of veggies to it and cook till veggies are softened. Fresh is best for flavor, but canned can certainly be used too. By Dede from Macon, MO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A man in a hurry taking his 8-year-old son to school, made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited. "Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!" the man said. "It's okay, Dad" the boy said. "The police car right behind us did the same thing."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one." The next day the collections manager received a phone nessagel, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."

» Golden Eagle vs White-Tail Deer
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 109 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 545 )
snmaster.idx database file is missing / in the slum, and naked 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, March 15, 2010

The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault. --- Henry Kissinger Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law? --- Dick Clark
Over dinner one evening, a wife says to her husband, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me. He used really bad language. He even threatened me!" "How did you meet this fellow?" her husband asked, very concerned. "Well," she says, "we met by accident. I backed into his wheelchair with the car."
A young mother finds out she is pregnant again, and she tells the good news to anyone who will listen. One day when the woman and the boy are out shopping, a friend of the mother asks the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. "Oh, yes!" the little tyke says. And having overheard some of his parents' private conversations, he adds, "And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call it Mary, and if it's another boy we're going to call it Quits."

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jason Botos, 30, Papillon, nebraska Nebraska. man too drunk for DUI sentencing PAPILLION, Neb. (AP) - Authorities said a 30-year-old-man showed up so drunk for his sentencing for drunken driving that he missed his hearing and now faces even more time behind bars. Authorities said Jason Botos was driven to the Papillion courthouse on Thursday by his father, who needed help from deputies to get his son out of the vehicle. Prosecutor Ben Perlman said Botos was so drunk he couldn't attend the hearing, so the judge issued a warrant. Deputies arrested Botos in the parking lot. Another hearing is set for Tuesday. A jail spokeswoman said Botos remained in custody Friday. Botos had pleaded guilty to misdemeanor drunken driving in a September 2009 collision with five other vehicles.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Mary Re: snmaster.idx database file is missing Dear dr. webby, I think I need someone to take my computer licence away from me. I have this message coming up telling me I need to reinstall this file ( snmaster.idx database file is missing ) I have no idea where or how it went missing. You are the best there is because you have always helped when I am in trouble & I think this missing file maybe the reason I can not get my McAfee to run. HELP !!! As always Thank You for being here able to help. Mary Dear Mary If it was up to me, I would not take away your computer license. I would take away your AOL and force you to graduate. From what I read, that problem is a pissing contest between AOL 9 and VISTA, and if you are using the AOL version of McAfee instead of the full version, then McAfee won't work either. You are in the slum, and you are naked. There is a LOT of writing about that problem on the net, however, no two people seem to agree on how to fix the problem. They all seem to agree, though, 1) that calling AOL support is a waste of time, and that 2) switching to Vista was a dumb move. Try deleting your AOL desktop shortcut, and make a new one. That worked for one AOLer. Another one had luck with downloading that file from daol.aol.com/software/91 and re-installing it. Without that file apparently you can not even do a clean UN-install of AOL, since it not only has your password, but also the master record of all the various mysterious places where AOL hid files. Have FUN! DearWebby
A Scottish lad and lass were sitting together on a heathery hill in the Highlands. They had been silent for a while, when the lass said, "A penny for your thoughts." The lad was a bit abashed, but he finally said, "Well, I was thinkin' how nice it would be if ye'd give me a wee bit of a kiss." So she did so. But he again lapsed into a pensive mood which lasted long enough for the lass to ask him, "What are ye thinkin' now?" To which the lad grumbled, "Well, I was hopin' ye hadn't forgot the penny!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Insulate Windows With Bubblewrap A great way to insulate windows in the winter and summer, is to use Bubblewrap. It not only insulates, but it still lets light in. It won't grow mold, and can be washed. I put it inside my windows. You can hang it up with just a few tacks or push-pins. By JLS If at all possible, use double-sided tape and attach the bubble wrap 7 cm (2 1/2 inches) from the glass, with un-vented dead air space between the glass and the bubble-wrap. That is the absolute optimal distance for insulating that way, but anything from one to three inches is still excellent. If the window is hinged, you can make a frame froim 2x2's and stretch the bubble-wrap over that frame, then attach that frame to the window. That way you can open the window without any fuss. Unless you want a hot-box for pre-heating the water for the water heater or pool, make sure windows that are insulated that way, are shaded in summer or have blinds or shutters on the OUTSIDE. That 7cm trick of course also works for greenhouses. If you see somebody upgrading their windows, try to get the old single pane windows to make a simple lean-to greenhouse on a side of the house or apartment balcony. Just make sure that the glass is on the outside. UV from the sunlight destroys bubble-wrap in one season. Glass stops the UV. Unless you want boiled tomatoes, you will have to provide venting on hot summer days. That trick works a lot better than you expect. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed. Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?" "I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied. "What's so funny about that?" "I'm a proctologist."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner? A power failure.

» Bridges
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 217 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 427 )
Hibernate or Sleep? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, March 14, 2010

Books have the same enemies as people: fire, humidity, animals, weather, and their own content. --- Paul Valery It is a sign of a creeping inner death when we no longer can praise the living. --- Eric Hoffer
One day our German class was unusually talkative despite repeated warnings, and our teacher was becoming rather exasperated. After what must have been the sixth or eighth warning, he raised his voice to declare, "All right! The next person who talks is going to be severely castigated." The class was then very quiet for a few seconds, at least until a girl in the front row asked the teacher, "Mr. T--, how are you going to do that to a girl?"
Ray and Randy were riding the New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change. Randy adamantly rejects the man in disgust. Ray, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a five, and gladly hands it to the beggar with a smile. The beggar thanks him profusely and continues on to the other passengers. Randy is outraged by his friend's act of generosity. "What on EARTH did you do that for???" shouts Randy. "You know he's only going to use it on booze!!!" Ray replies, "And we weren't?"
Looks like this year the fox got away
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Santiago Contreras, 20, Middletown, NY Fake FBI man targeted police chief's house NEW YORK (UPI) -- Police in a New York town said an attempted home invader posing as an FBI agent was arrested after targeting the wrong man -- the chief of police. Investigators said Santiago Contreras, 20, knocked on the Middletown police chief's door at about 9:18 a.m. EST Tuesday and allegedly flashed a resident alien card, claiming it was his FBI credentials, and displayed a piece of paper he claimed was a search warrant, WABC-TV, New York, reported Wednesday. The police report said Contreras fled on foot after the chief asked to see his identification again and he was later arrested by officers and found to be in possession of a homemade "shank" knife and plastic gloves. Contreras was arrested and charged with attempted robbery, attempted burglary, criminal possession of a weapon, criminal possession of a forged instrument and criminal impersonation.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: WTW Re: Sleep or hibernation? What is the difference between Hibernation and Sleep Modes? Are there times when either is preferable to the other? What are the advantages and/or disadvantages of each? With a laptop (Windows Vista) does one or the other use more battery power? Dear WTW Don't use sleep as the default lid closing action. Windows is rather flakey about waking up from sleep if you have Vista or W7. Plus it uses battery. Sleep should never be used for longer than refilling your coffee. Sleep does not save anything to the hard drive, just to the RAM. If the battery runs out while it is in Sleep, you lost whatever you had going. Hibernate saves everything to the hard drive, and then safely shuts down. When you wake it up from Hibernation, it takes 20 seconds longer to wake up, but it does so reliably, and without losing anything. Also, Hibernate does not run down your battery, even if it is in hibernation for a week or two. Have FUN! DearWebby
After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the department of motor vehicles, a lady stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for her son. She brought her selection - a baseball bat to the cash register. "Cash or charge," the clerk asked. "Cash," she snapped. Then apologizing for her rudeness, she explained, " I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau. I am not too sane right now!!" "Shall I gift -wrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly, "Or or you going back?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Your Feet Dry With Plastic Bags When we were kids and wanted to play outside in the rain or snow, we didn't have boots. My mother would put plastic bags over our socks then put our shoes on then cover the plastic bags up with our pants. My mom used bread bags but I used recycled plastic grocery bags for my kids. These days I still cover my socks with plastic bags before I go out into the snow. It's one more useful thing you can do with those plastic bags that are just waiting to be reused! By CDR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Tom was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the hallway toward you, what would you do?" Tom replied, "I would get in my helicopter and fly away!" The doctor then asked, "Where did you get a helicopter from?" Tom replied, "The same place you got your silly train!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
Two husbands, Bill and Doug, were discussing their married lives. Although happily married, they admitted that there were argument sometimes. Then Bill said, "I've made one great discovery. I now know how to always have the last word." "Wow!" said Doug, "How do you manage that?" "It's easy," replied Bill. "My last words are always 'Yes, Dear.'"

» Snowed
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 149 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 381 )
Text version 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, March 13, 2010
Tonight, change the clocks to show one hour ahead of where they
currently are. At the same time, also replace your smoke detector
batteries.

The human mind treats a new idea the same way the body treats a strange protein; it rejects it. --- P. B. Medawar Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question. --- Albert Camus
My mother taught me about JUSTICE - "One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU.. THEN you'll see what it's like."
"It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other." "Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puzzled teacher. "But you only have two ears, boy." "Guess I'm no good at math, either!"
Monument Valley
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Rondell Bailey, Oklahoma City Man offered 'last tree' to deputies OKLAHOMA CITY (UPI) -- Authorities in Oklahoma said a man who crashed into a parking lot walked into a jail and offered a stick he called the "last tree in the universe" as payment. Oklahoma County sheriff's deputies said Rondell Bailey walked into the downtown Oklahoma City jail with a stick and told deputies he wanted to offer the object, which he called the "last tree in the universe," in exchange for dropping any possible charges against him, KOCO-TV, Oklahoma City, reported Wednesday. The deputies said Bailey left after being told the stick was not an acceptable form of payment and threw a brick through a jail window. Investigators said they discovered a white powder suspected to be methamphetamine during a search of the suspect's truck. Bailey was arrested on destruction of property and drug charges.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Betty Jane Re: text version I DID NOT mean to unsubscribe...I want the humor text version! I don't like the one I'm receiving. Thank you...I DO want to receive it, but in another version. Betty Dear Betty The text version was retired on March 1/2010 after 16 years, due to lack of demand and response, but especially because of too many bounces from full mail boxes of people, who only check their mail once every blue moon. Have FUN! DearWebby
Jill was selling tickets at the movie house when she got a phone call. This woman said, "How much is a ticket?" Jill said, "Four dollars." She said, "How much for children?" Jill said, "Same price, four dollars per seat." She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children." Jill said, "OK, put the kids on a plane somewhere, and you come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cut Your Alfredo Sauce With Broth Here's a tip that can help you reduce your sugar and fat intake and save you a little money. If you buy a jar of alfredo sauce, try cutting it with an equal amount of chicken broth. Heat the broth and sauce together, throw in some brocolli and cook until tender. Then mix this sauce with your noodles and a handful of grated parmesan cheese. You end up with a thinner sauce but it still tastes good and has reduced fat, calories and sugar. Lewis from Port Orchard Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and everything. He was served a piece of meat, and as he picked it up with his fork, he held it up and smirked: "Is this pig?" Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly: "To which end of the fork are you referring?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
Nancy was a none-too-bright young woman who had moved to Hollywood with dreams of becoming a star. She didn't find fame or glory, but she did encounter plenty of men willing to enjoy her plentiful charms, and soon she found herself called to testify in a divorce case. When it was her turn on the stand, the lawyer came forward. "Ms Nancy, the wife of the defendant has identified you as the 'other woman' in her husband's life. Now, do you admit that you went to the Pricerite Motel with this Mr. Evans?" "Well, yes," acknowledged Nancy with a sniff, "but I couldn't help it." "Couldn't help it?" asked the lawyer derisively. "How's that?" "Mr. Evans deceived me." "Exactly what do you mean?" "See, when we signed in," she explained, "he told the motel clerk I was his wife."

» Daylight Saving Time
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 170 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 566 )
Very old computer with not much RAM 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, March 12, 2010
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle, is a deep delight of the blood. --- George Santayana
Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time, caddy. It's rather distracting!" Caddy: "This isn't a watch, sir, its a compass!"
A young boy about five or six years was talking on the telephone. As his dad listened on, the youngster told his grandparents dejectedly, "Mom is in the hospital, so the twins and Roxie and Billy and Sally and Max-the-dog and me and Dad are home all alone."
Thanks to Guinn for this picture: A Red-shafted Flicker having lunch with a Pine Siskin.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Gregorio Iniguez, Chile name of country mis-spelled on coin The general manager of the Chilean mint has been sacked after thousands of coins were issued with the name of the country spelled wrongly. The 50-peso coins were issued in 2008, but no-one noticed the mistake until late last year, reports the BBC. Instead of C-H-I-L-E, the coins had C-H-I-I-E stamped on them. The coins have since become collectors' items and the mint says it has no plans to take them out of circulation. People have reportedly been hoarding the coins in the hope their value rises. But the mistake has cost the mint's general manager, Gregorio Iniguez, and several other employees, their jobs. It is not the first embarrassing blunder at the Chilean mint. Last October, someone there sold a rare medal, which should have been housed in the institution's museum, to a coin collector.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Noella Re: Very old computer Dear Webby, We have another very old computer I want to put Windows 98 on. The only legal Windows 98 cd I have is an upgrade which means I need to install Windows 3.1 or Windows 95 and upgrade. I have a Windows 95 cd I can use. My problem is that right now the computer has Windows XP on it. The hard drive is ntfs and I need to format it to fat32. How do I do that? It ran the XP before putting on and taking off Service Pack 2 (though I don't know how it ran XP since it only has 96-97 mgs of ram on it). Right now, it is in a "hang or loop" mode - trying to start XP, shutting down and restarting. I've been told that is because it doesn't have enough ram to run XP. I've searched the 'net, but I don't seem to come across a site that deals with the main hard drive. It won't access my Windows 95 cd because it's ntfs and I need to change it. At least that's what I've been told. Thanks so much, Noella Dear Noella If it had enough actually working RAM, then the Windows 95 set-up CD would format the drive properly. You can select FAT32 or even FAT16 in the BIOS, if necessary. With only 96 MB RAM I doubt that even Windows 3.1 would work well. As far as I remember, we used to use 256 MB in those days. Since you probably can't get RAM for that old board, your best bet is to get a motherboard kit from Tigerdirect or a place like that, including 2000 MB of RAM, and have a kid with good eyesight install it. It is not difficult at all, but some of the writing on the motherboard is too small for most adults. Anything else will probably wind up costing you more. You can also check with a local computer fixer to see if they have working motherboards from people who upgraded to more powerful boards. Have FUN! DearWebby
Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at the grocery store!" "I doubt that!" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answers and Tom says, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of prunes?" The clerk replies, "Sure, Canned or Dried?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Masking Tape to Make Seed Tapes I empty the packet of seed on a plate. I unroll masking tape in front of me. Sticky side up, I dampen my index finger. It helps, to pick up the seeds. I then place two seeds, down on the tape, then two more seeds down on the tape, six inches apart. Add two more seeds down until you run out of seeds. I roll up the tape on a Popsicle stick, or a stick from outside, or an ink pen. I don't use pencil because of the lead inside. At planting time, I use a stick to help unwind. I plant 6 inches under, loose soil mixed with one part sand 3 parts potting soil. I plant straight, to the garden. I cover if before, last frost. There is no danger of root shock. My plants are always straight. They do well. I store my seeds in a dry plastic zip lock bag, with a paper towel to absorb any moisture. I store all my seeds this way. By Ellen Lou from Tennessee Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

» Funky Tomatoes
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 218 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 417 )
How do I open .swf files? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, March 11, 2010

You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today. --- Abraham Lincoln: Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation. --- Kin Hubbard
A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first morning in Camp. He was surprised to see one of the youngsters had an umbrella. The counselor asked, "Why did you bring an umbrella to camp?" The kid answered, "Did you ever have a mother?"
One Sunday a priest announced he was passing out minature crosses made of palm leaves. "Put this cross in the room where your family argues most," he advised. "When you look at it, the cross will remind you that God is watching." When the parishoners were leaving church, a woman walked up to the priest, shook his hand and said, "I'll take five."
Thanks to my dad for this picture: Dendrobium
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 41 year old Swedish fake pilot Bogus pilot arrested just before take-off A Swedish man without a valid pilot's licence has been arrested at Amsterdam as he was about to fly a jet with 101 passengers to Turkey. The 41-year-old man said he had been flying for European airlines for 13 years and had logged 10,000 hours, reports the BBC. Police said he once had a licence to fly small planes but it had expired and it did not allow him to fly large jets. Reports say the man was relieved his long deception was uncovered and tore off his pilot's stripes in the cockpit. Turkey's Corendon Airlines said he had been flying for the airline for two years and had "expertly misled the company with his false papers". The airline said it had been alerted by police and had a pilot standing by to fly the Boeing 737 from Amsterdam's Schiphol airport to Ankara. Dutch police were acting on a tip-off from Swedish authorities. The man is in custody awaiting trial for forging documents and flying without a licence.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Phyllis Re: How do I open .swf files? Dear Webby, First, I want to tell you how very much I enjoy this newsletter on a daily basis! There is always something to smile about, ponder, and learn from! Thank you so much! Now, I have a question, and I hope you can help me. I have a HP with Vista Home Premium program, and for some reason, I can't open any attachment that is .swf. What is the reason, and can I remedy the situation? Thanks so much for your help, in advance!!! Sincerely, Phyllis Dear Phyllis Just go to my Tool Box and download the Adobe Flash Player. Have FUN! DearWebby
Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I've lost 20 pounds." "Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend. "Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Scrapbooking Material From Surprising Sources While I don't scrapbook, my new sewing machine gave me tons of scrapbooking materials, if I was inclined! The manufacturer published a second full manual in a language I don't speak or understand. I can cut that up for scrapbooking pages - there's diagrams, pictures, line art, and frames that would be cool to use. By Dorrie from Norman, OK Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A couple trying to break into society hosted a dinner party. As the guests were enjoying their dinner salad, the maid called the hostess from the table. The maid informed her that the cat had climbed on the kitchen table and eaten a large portion of the salmon's midsection. The hostess decided to quickly drive to the store and get some canned salmon to fill the eaten portion. As the guests were enjoying the fish, the maid called the hostess into the kitchen and announced while wringing her hands, "Madam, the cat is dead." The hostess and her husband informed the guests and suggested it might be best if everyone went to the hospital and had their stomachs pumped. Returning home, the couple asked the maid where she had put the cat. "It is still out on the road where you ran over it when you went to get the canned salmon."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the army. "But, wait a minute," said the listener, "She'll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too. Won't she?" "Sure," replied the man. "Well, won't they find out?" The man shrugged, "So far, none of them complained."

» US Census
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 117 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 371 )
How do I make destop links to sites? 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wenesday, March 10, 2010

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else. --- James Thurber Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. --- A. H. Weiler
Thanks to Cookie for this story: Little Matthew was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, 'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?' She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. 'It's called sexual intercourse, darling.' Little Matthew said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the other kids.. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse.. It's called Bunk Beds.. And Jimmie's mom wants to talk to you.'
Thanks to Sandie for this story: "I have a problem," Suzanne complained to her friend, "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me." "Don't you have a phone in your car?" asked the friend. "That was too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car." "A mail box? Does that work?" "Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet." "And why do you think that is?" Suzanne thought for a moment, then replied, "I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."
The first Norwegian Icebreaker heads up the Mississippi As you may have seen on the news, it's been very cold in the Midwest, so cold in fact that we have borrowed a Norwegian Icebreaker from Minnesota to unclog the Mississippi, starting near Davenport and working its way north. Here is the first picture of it as it begins the hard work required to break up the ice. Tom W Norwegian Icebreaker
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Alen Nguyen, 22, in Winter Haven, Florida Tried to redeem winners at same store where stole the tickets BARTOW, Fla. (AP) - A Winter Haven man was arrested after authorities say he took a winning scratch-off ticket back to the store he had stolen it from a day earlier. The Polk County Sheriff's Office reports that 22-year-old Alen Nguyen stole $70 worth of scratch-off lottery tickets from a Circle K store on Sunday. One of the tickets revealed a $50 prize. When Nguyen went back to the store on Monday to claim the money, a clerk who was aware of the theft asked Nguyen for his driver's license and wrote down the information. The clerk called the authorities, and deputies went to arrest Nguyen. He was charged with retail theft and later released on $250 bail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carol Re: How do I make destop links to sites? Dear Webby, how can I get links to sites I use frequently to be sent to my destop? I use Windows XP Service pack 3. Thanks! Carol Dear Carol Browse to a site that you want a shortcut icon for, then grab the little icon at the left side in the browser address bar, and drag it to the desktop, or to a thematic folder on the desktop. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Roland for this story: One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. You don't love me any more?" "Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Bleach Water to Control Gnats Recently our house has been overrun with gnats. I followed all your suggestions, nothing worked. I finally called an exterminator, he couldn't come but he told us to pour scalding water down every drain in our house and follow it up with bleach. They said we may have to do it several times before we can see it is effective. We used 2 gallons of scalding hot water for each drain and followed up with a quart of bleach for each drain. I wanted to pass this along cause it is really a problem this year. By BJ from Mid Missouri Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Thanks to Sandie for this story: Joan had a system for labeling leftover meals in the freezer . She would carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables" or "Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie." Everyday when she asked her husband what he wanted for dinner, he never asked for any of those meals. She decided to stock the freezer with his various requests. What he really likes. So now you'll see a whole new set of labels: "Whatever", "Anything", "I Don't Know", "I Don't Care", "Something Good", or "Food" . No more frustration for Joan, because no matter what her husband replies when she asks him what he wants for dinner, it's there waiting.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
. If you don't get it, then you, your mother or your ISP have Ophelia blocked
Linda and Jill are having coffee when Linda notices that Jill seems troubled and asks her, "Is something bugging you? You look anxious." "Well, my boyfriend just lost all his money and life savings in the stock market," Jill explained. "Oh, that's too bad," Linda sympathized. "I'm sure you're feeling sorry for him." "Yeah, I am," Jill said. "He'll miss me."

» River of colors
ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





[ view entry ] ( 106 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 360 )

<<First <Back | 109 | 110 | 111 | 112 | 113 | 114 | 115 | 116 | 117 | 118 | Next> Last>>