Open Office and PPS 




Good Morning, !

Thank you very much, Frank!!!

Today is Sunday, December 9

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Fla. Man Stole Sneakers After Job 
Interview at Kohl's

Blondie jumping onto frozen lake 
______________________________________________________
Today, December 9 in
1884 Levant M. Richardson received a patent 
for the ball-bearing roller skate. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix. --- Christina Baldwin If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me --- Jimmy Buffett Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. --- Albert Einstein ______________________________________________________ Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it." For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he hanged the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50." The next day someone stole it. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: My creative mother enjoys doing crafts, such as making potpourri boxes decorated with ribbon and lace. Sometimes she gets so involved that she disappears into her upstairs workroom for hours, forgetting about more mundane things, like making dinner. One evening, I arrived home to find the kitchen empty again. But this time, I found a note that said, "Warning! Small craft advisory. Buy yourself a pizza!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Meredith for this famous classic: ( For English as a second language students: The old word for donkey, as used in the bible, is ass. When used in that sense, the word is no more obscene or objectionable than the word donkey. ) The Pastor's Ass The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the head lines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. The bishop was buried two days after that. ______________________________________________________ Dumbass parking _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dominick Christopher Breedlove, 24, Spring Hill, Floriduh Fla. Man Stole Sneakers After Job Interview at Kohl's A Florida man was arrested after he allegedly stole two pairs of sneakers from a department store – minutes after interviewing for a job there. Deputies in Hernando County arrested Dominick Breedlove and charged him with retail theft after the incident Wednesday afternoon at a Kohl’s store in Spring Hill, located north of Tampa. According to NBC affiliate WFLA-TV, 24-year-old Breedlove went into the store shortly after the interview and started looking at a Nike display for women's shoes that did not have security tags. Breedlove left the store and later returned with a bag from a previous trip. A loss prevention officer called the Hernando County Sheriff's Office after seeing Breedlove put the sneakers, worth a combined $150, inside the bag and leaving the store. Officers arrested Breedlove on the way to his car, where he told deputies that he had planned to gift the shoes to his mother. Breedlove was booked into jail with a $500 bond. Needless to say, he did not get the job, the sheriff's office said.
From: Cookie Re: Open Office and PPS Dear Webby, My personal computer Guru, Do I understand this correctly??? With Open Office you can snag individual pictures from pps shows? I sure hope so...there are so many fantastic pictures in pps files. Cookie Dear Cookie Yes, you can! It opens the PPS with thumbnails of the individual pictures down along the left margin, and the highlighted thumbnail as the big picture in the center. You can edit the pictures, put text on them, change the duration of the show time, etc. And you can of course save the individual pictures that are "keepers". Or you can hit F5 for a traditional sit-back show. I can just hear you now: "Oh WOW! This is the way it should have been all along!" All of Open Office is that way. Like Microsoft Office SHOULD have been all along. Microsoft Office is trying to catch up, but in the meantime it got priced way too high for you and me. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Sandie for this story: My wife and I were making our own funeral arrangements and the director showed us into a room in which containers for ashes were on display. After we looked at the choices, I asked my wife if she had decided. She sighed, "Yes, the wood-finish one, as it will likely go into the ground." After a moment's pause, however, she continued, "But I really prefer the blue one. You know I always look good in blue!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Farmer Jake had a nagging wife who made his life miserable. The only real peace that he got was when he was out in the field plowing. One day when he was out in the field, Jake's wife brought his lunch to him. Then she stayed while he quietly ate and berated him with a constant stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Jake's old mule kicked up his back legs, striking the wife in the head, and killing her instantly. At the wake, Jake's minister noticed that when the women offered their sympathy to Jake he would nod his head up and down. But when the men came up and spoke quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side. When the wake was over and all the mourners had left, the minister approached Jake and asked, "Why was it that you nodded your head up and down to all the women and shook your head from side to side to all the men?" Well, Jake replied, "The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty," so I agreed by nodding my head up and down. The men all asked, "Is that mule for sale?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com December's Best Food Buys Buy food that is in season and you can save money at the grocery store. Here are December's Best Buys: Apples, Beef, Broccoli, Brussels sprouts, Chicken, Eggs, Grapefruit, Oranges, Pork, Rhubarb, and Turnips. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Let's go to the Arctic.
___________________________________________________ Abe came home one day and found his wife Esther in tears. "Darling, what's the matter?" "Oh, Abe," cried Esther, "Doctor Cohen says I have tuberculosis." "What! A big healthy woman like you has tuberculosis? Ridiculous," said Abe. "I'll call Doctor Cohen and get this sorted out right now." So Abe called his doctor. "Doctor, Esther says ! you told her she has tuberculosis." The doctor said something to Abe, and with that, Abe began laughing. "So what's so funny about my having such a dreadful disease?" asked Esther. "Esther, Doctor Cohen didn't say you that you have 'tuberculosis,' he said you have 'too big a tuchas'!" ___________________________________________________ Upon going away to college, my former brother-in-law received a hand mixer from his mother because of his fondness for mashed potatoes. Later that semester, she asked him how the mixer was working for him. "Not very good," Terry said, "the potatoes keep flying all over the kitchen." After a perplexed pause, his mother asked, "Terry, did you cook the potatoes first?" To which a surprised Terry responded, "You have to cook the potatoes first?" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Polands Worst Air Disaster The worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. The search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night. The pilot and passenger are helping with the digging. ___________________________________________________

Today December 9 in
1783 The first executions at Newgate Prison took place. 

1793 "The American Minerva" was published for the first time. It
was the first daily newspaper in New York City and was founded by
Noah Webster. 

1854 Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem, "The Charge of the Light
Brigade," was published in England. 

1879 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Ore Milling Company. 

1884 Levant M. Richardson received a patent for the ball-bearing
roller skate. 

1892 In London, "Widowers' Houses," George Bernard Shaw's first
play, opened at the Royalty Theater. 

1907 Christmas Seals went on sale for the first time, in the
Wilmington, DE, post office. 

1926 The United States Golf Association legalized the use of
steel-shafted golf clubs. 

1917 Turkish troops surrendered Jerusalem to British troops led
by Viscount Allenby. 

1940 During World War II, British troops opened their first major
offensive in North Africa. 

1940 The Longines Watch Company signed for the first FM radio
advertising contract with experimental station W2XOR in New York
City. 

1941 China declared war on Japan, Germany and Italy. 

1955 Sugar Ray Robinson knocked out Carl Olson and regained his
world middleweight boxing title. 

1958 In Indianapolis, IN, Robert H.W. Welch Jr. and 11 other men
met to form the anti-Communist John Birch Society. 

1960 Sperry Rand Corporation unveiled a new computer known as
"Univac 1107." 

1962 "Lawrence of Arabia" by David Lean had its world premiere in
London. 

1975 U.S. President Gerald R. Ford signed a $2.3 billion seasonal
loan authorization to prevent New York City from having to
default. 

1978 The first game of the Women's Pro Basketball League (WBL)
was played between the Chicago Hustle and the Milwaukee Does. 

1985 In Argentina, five former military junta members received
sentences in prison for their roles in the "dirty war" in which
nearly 9,000 people had "disappeared." 

1987 West Bank Palestinians launched an intifada (uprising)
against Israeli occupation. 

1987 In the Gaza Strip, an Israeli patrol attacked the Jabliya
refugee camp. 

1990 Lech Walesa won Poland's first direct presidential election
in the country's history. 

1990 Slobodan Milosovic was elected president in Serbia's first
free elections in 50 years. 

1990 The first American hostages to be released by Iran began
arriving in the U.S. 

1991 European Community leaders agreed to begin using a single
currency in 1999. 

1992 Britain's Prince Charles and Princess Diana announced their
separation. 

1992 Clair George, former CIA spy chief, was convicted of lying
to the U.S. Congress about the Iran-Contra affair. U.S. President
George H.W. Bush later pardoned George. 

1992 U.S. troops arrived in Mogadishu, Somalia, to oversee
delivery of international food aid, in operation 'Restore Hope'. 

1993 The U.S. Air Force destroyed the first of 500 Minuteman II
missile silos that were marked for elimination under an arms
control treaty. 

1993 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavor completed
repairs to the Hubble Space Telescope. 

1993 At Princeton University in New Jersey, scientists produced a
controlled fusion reaction equivalent to 3 million watts. 

1994 Representatives of the Irish Republican Army and the British
government opened peace talks in Northern Ireland. 

1996 UN Secretary General Boutros-Ghali approved a deal allowing
Iraq to resume its exports of oil and easing the UN trade embargo
imposed on Iraq in 1990. 

1999 The U.S. announced that it was expelling a Russian diplomat
who had been caught gathering information with an eavesdropping
device at the U.S. State Department. 

2002 United Airlines filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy after losing
$4 billion in the previous two years. It was the sixth largest
bankruptcy filing. 

2003 In Australia, thieves broke into a home and stole two 300-
year-old etchings by Rembrandt. The 4-by-4-inch etchings, a self-
portait and a depiction of the artist's mother, were valued
around $518,000. 

2013 AMR Corporation and US Airways Group completed a merger and
was listed on the NASDAQ as American Airlines Group, Inc. 

2018  smiled.


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Locked icons 




Good Morning, !

Thank you very much, Frank!!!
Today is Saturday, December 8

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Utah Mom Lured Ex Out of Apartment Before 
Murdering his current wife

Blondie jumping onto frozen lake 
______________________________________________________
Today, December 8 in
1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate 
Conception. The theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus, 
was free of original sin from the moment she was conceived. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth. --- Marie Curie (1867 - 1934) It is always a silly thing to give advice, but to give good advice is fatal. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) "An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do." --- Dylan Thomas ______________________________________________________ A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, "What rotten luck I've had today! What in the world should I do now?" A man standing next to her suggests, "I don't know... why don't you play your age?" He walks away. Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe she won! He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd. The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her. The man is stunned. He asks, "What happened? Is she all right?" The operator replies, "I don't know. She put all her money on 29, and 36 came up. Then she just fainted!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ In a grocery store a cashier held up a small dairy carton and yelled to a co-worker, "How much is half-and-half?" Without a moment's hesitation the other cashier replied, "One." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ DEMOCRACY You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you. REPUBLICANISM You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So? SOCIALIST You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow. COMMUNIST You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour. CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain. AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up. FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good. JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school. GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year. ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good. RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have. TALIBAN CORPORATION You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons. IRAQI CORPORATION You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing. POLISH CORPORATION You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them. BELGIAN CORPORATION You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half. The cow dies happy. FLORIDA CORPORATION You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow. CALIFORNIA CORPORATION You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English. Many are illegals. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders. ______________________________________________________ Waiting for hubby _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Chelsea Watrous Cook, 32, Salt Lake City, Utah Utah Mom Lured Ex Out of Apartment Before Murdering his current wife Utah has never executed a woman or had a woman on death row, but that could change after Sunday night's murder in suburban Salt Lake City. Chelsea Watrous Cook, 32, has been charged with aggravated murder in the shooting of Lisa Vilate Williams, 26, and could face the death penalty, Deseret News reports. Police say the teacher lured ex-husband Travis Cook out of his apartment by saying she had cold medicine for one of their 3-year-twins, reports the AP. Security camera footage captured her hiding in the hallway as he walked out to the parking lot. Police say she then sneaked into the apartment, where she ended up shooting Williams, her ex-husband's new girlfriend, who had been making Christmas tree ornaments with the twins. Authorities say Travis Cook managed to get the gun away from his ex-wife and pin her to a wall until police arrived. Williams' mother and sister tell the AP that they feared for her safety after Cook harassed her and bullied her online for months. Public records state that Cook was charged with misdemeanor domestic violence last month after arguing with her ex-husband when he tried to pick up the twins. Court records state that she yelled "disparaging comments" about Williams, who was not present, and grabbed her ex-husband by the hair, causing him to tumble down stairs. Cook, who worked as a health and yoga teacher at a Lehi high school, is being held without bail.
From: Kitty Re: Locked icons Dear Webby, here i am again. how do i unlock the icons. to where we can move them around the screen. not all bunched toughther. ? Kitty Dear Kitty Right-click on the desktop and choose Arrange Icons. Unclick Auto Arrange. Unclick Align to grid. They should now stay where you put them. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Sandie for this story: The doctor said to a patient's husband, "I'm sorry. We did all that was humanly possible, but we just can't wake her from her coma. It doesn't look good, I'm afraid." "But doctor, she's so young! She's only thirty-nine." Upon which the comatose wife weakly said, "Thirty-seven!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Old buddies Father Mulhaney and Rabbi Silverman were having their monthly breakfast. Father Mulhaney was enjoying his usual bacon and eggs, while Rabbi Silverman was savoring his lox and bagels . Father Mulhaney asked, "Would you like to try a piece of bacon? Lots of people eat bacon, and it is very tasty. Why don't you try a piece?" Rabbi Silverman replied, "You are quite right, my friend. I think I will try some bacon." "When?" asked the priest. "At your wedding, of course," responded the rabbi. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Storing Dry Dog Food If you have a large dog, store dog food in a plastic garbage can or large tub. For smaller dogs, you can you use a small plastic tub or one of those decorative tins that popcorn comes in. Just empty the bag of dry food into the container and keep a scoop in it. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
C Stop Everything and Discover the World of 3D Cat Portraiture
___________________________________________________ Today at work, the boss wanted to know when Father's Day was. "Easy," I answered. "It's nine months before Mother's Day." ___________________________________________________ While I was preaching in a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison quartet would be singing the following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked forward to hearing them. The next evening, I was puzzled when four members of the church approached the stage. Then the pastor introduced them. "This is our prison quartet," he said, "behind a few bars and always looking for the key." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Tom My mother has a "lead foot," so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were speeding through Georgia. Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when the trooper walked up to the car. "I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer. "What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires out?" ___________________________________________________

Today December 8 in
1765 Eli Whitney was born in Westboro, MA. Whitney invented the
cotton gin and developed the concept of mass-production of
interchangeable parts. Before him only plows were mass produced
with interchangeable parts.

1776 George Washington's retreating army in the American
Revolution crossed the Delaware River from New Jersey to
Pennsylvania. 

1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate
Conception. The theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus, was free
of original sin from the moment she was conceived. 

1863 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln announced his plan for the
Reconstruction of the South. 

1863 Tom King of England defeated American John Heenan and became
the first world heavyweight champion. 

1886 At a convention of union leaders in Columbus, OH, the
American Federation of Labor was founded. 

1941 The United States entered World War II when it declared war
against Japan. The act came one day after the Japanese attacked
Pearl Harbor. Canada declared war on Japan on the day of the
Pearl Harbor attack. 

1949 The Chinese Nationalist government moved from the Chinese
mainland to Formosa (Taiwan) due to Communists pressure. 

1952 On the show "I Love Lucy," a pregnancy was acknowledged in a
TV show for the first time. 

1953 Los Angeles became the third largest city in the United
States. 

1962 Workers of the International Typographical Union began
striking and closed nine New York City newspapers. The strike
lasted 114 days and ended April 1, 1963. 

1980 Zimbabwe’s manpower minister, Edgar Tekere, was found guilty
in the killing of a white farmer. He was freed under a law that
protected ministers acting to suppress terrorism. 

1982 Norman D. Mayer demanding an end to nuclear weapons held the
Washington Monument hostage. He threatened to blow it up with
explosives he claimed were inside a van. 10 hours later he was
shot to death by police. 

1984 In Roanoke, Virginia, a jury found Hustler magazine
publisher Larry Flynt innocent of libeling Reverend Jerry Falwell
with a parody advertisement. However Falwell was awarded $200,000
for emotional distress. 

1987 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev
signed a treaty agreeing to destroy their nations' arsenals of
intermediate-range nuclear missiles. 

1987 The "intefadeh" (Arabic for uprising) by Palestinians in the
Israeli-occupied territories began. 

1989 Communist leaders in Czechoslovakia offered to surrender
their control over the government and accept a minority role in a
coalition Cabinet. 

1991 Russia, Byelorussia and Ukraine declared the Soviet national
government to be dead. They forged a new alliance to be known as
the Commonwealth of Independent States. The act was denounced by
Russian President Gorbachev as unconstitutional. 

1992 Americans got to see live television coverage of U.S. troops
landing on the beaches of Somalia during Operation Restore Hope.
(Due to the time difference, it was December 9 in Somalia.) 

1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the North American
Free Trade Agreement. 

1994 Bosnian Serbs released dozens of hostage peacekeepers, but
continued to detain about 300 others. 

1994 In Los Angeles, 12 alternate jurors were chosen for the O.J.
Simpson murder trial. 

1997 The second largest bank was created with the announcement
that Union Bank Switzerland and the Swiss Bank Corporation would
merge. The combined assets were more than $590 billion. 

1997 Jenny Shipley was sworn in as the first female prime
minister of New Zealand. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police could not search a
person or their cars after ticketing for a routine traffic
violation. 

1998 The FBI opened its files on Frank Sinatra to the public. The
file contained over 1,300 pages. 

1998 Nkem Chukwu and Iyke Louis Udobi's first of eight babies was
born. The other seven were delivered 12 days later.

1998 AT&T Corp. announced that it was buying IBM's data
networking business for $5 billion cash. 

1998 The first female ice hockey game in Olympic history was
played. Finland beat Sweden 6-0. 

1999 In Memphis, TN, a jury found that Rev. Martin Luther King
Jr. had been the victim of a vast murder conspiracy, not a lone
assassin. 

1999 Russia and Belarus agreed in principle to form an economic
and political confederation. 

2000 Mario Lemieux announced to the Pittsburgh Penguins that he
planned to return to the National Hockey League (NHL) as a player
at age 35. He would be the first modern owner-player in U.S. pro
sports. 

2018  smiled.


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No right click 




Good Morning, !

Thank you very much, Frank!!!

Today is Friday, December 7
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Naked N.H. attacked police officer.
He got tased and jailed.

https://youtu.be/hBq_r1-G_4E
______________________________________________________
Today, December 7 in
1941 Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu was
attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack resulted in
Canada declaring war on Japan, followed a day later by the USA. 
That caused the U.S. to enter into World War II. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Democracy substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own. --- Doug Larson ______________________________________________________ >From Ed I walked into Dairy Queen the other day and asked for a hot fudge sundae with extra hot fudge. The girl replied, "The hot fudge only comes in one temperature, Sir." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Mr. Smith was brought to Mercy Hospital (a Catholic hospital), and taken quickly in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed. "Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," said the nun, gently patting his hand. "We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?" "No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely. "Then can you pay in cash?" persisted the nun. "I'm afraid I cannot, Sister." "Well, do you have any close relatives?" the nun questioned sternly. "Just my sister in New Mexico," he volunteered. "But she's a humble spinster nun." "Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not spinsters - they are married to God." "Wonderful," said Mr. Smith. "In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Two voices, male and female, on an overnight "red eye" plane flight. "I think everyone's asleep, lets go" Sound of steps. "This one's empty. No ones is looking. You go in first" "It a bit cramped, let me sit down" "Have you got the condom? Quick, put it on" Sniff sniff "Ah perfume you think of everything" "This is great..." (long sigh) Static on the loud speaker then a new voice. "This is the captain speaking, to those two people in the rear toilet. We know what you're doing and it is expressly forbidden by airline regulations. Now put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the fake smoke detector!" ------------- Frequent fliers know that airplane toilets have "fart extractors", the smelly air is suckd down the toilet and allowed to escape to the thin air outside. By bending low over the toilet, as if praying to Ralph, the god of drunks, you can have that smelly cigarette, that is between going berserk and relaxed calmness. ______________________________________________________ So much for Algorian Warming! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Richard Chase, 52, Merrimack, New Hampshire Naked N.H. attacked police officer. He got tased and jailed. A man walking completely naked in the parking lot of a Merrimack hotel was stunned with a Taser on Friday night after police say he tried to punch an officer. Richard Chase, 52, has been charged with indecent exposure, attempted assault and resisting arrest. A man walking completely naked in the parking lot of a Merrimack hotel was stunned with a Taser on Friday night after police say he tried to punch an officer. Richard Chase, 52, has been charged with indecent exposure, attempted assault and resisting arrest.
From: Helene Re: No Right Click Dear Webby, Although I disagree with most of your political & social beliefs, your letter is really addictive and, hate to admit this, but enjoy -- a lot. So, thanks. Before I go through an elaborate process, any hints about what causes the right button of a mouse to suddenly stop functioning? It worked fine yesterday. Appreciate any advice. Helene Dear Helene First go into Settings, Control Panel, Mouse, Buttons and make sure that right clicking has not been turned off by some left-wing liberal program. If that is OK, shake and bash the mouse on the table. Don't be too gentle, except with the mouse cord. Make sure that there won't be any strain on the mouse cord during that. If that does not help either, replace the mouse. They are not made to last forever. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a Jewish rabbi were discussing when life begins. "Life begins," said the priest, "at the moment of fertilization. That is when God instills the spark of life into the fetus." "We believe," said the minister, "that life begins at birth, because that is when the baby becomes an individual and is capable of making its own decisions and must learn about sin." "You're both wrong," said the rabbi. "Life begins when the children have graduated from college and moved out of the house."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Christmas Break was over and the teacher was asking the class about their vacations. She turned to little Johnny and asked what he did over the break. "We visited my grandmother in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania," he replied. "That sounds like an excellent vocabulary word," the teacher said. "Can you tell the class how you spell that?" Little Johnny thought about it and said, "You know, come to think of it, we went to Acron, Ohio." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Storing Video Tapes Be careful that your video and camcorder tapes are stored away from electronics that have a magnetic field, like stereo speakers and TV's. Store your tapes somewhere dry and room temperature (60-70 F). Consider having a backup created on DVD of irreplaceable home movies. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Cool ceiling! I love the way it ripples.
___________________________________________________ Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house. Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake." "No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces without asking." ___________________________________________________ A young man volunteered to babysit one night so his mom could have an evening out. At bedtime he sent the youngsters upstairs to bed and settled down to watch football. One child kept creeping down the stairs, but the young man kept sending him back. At 9:00 p.m., the doorbell rang. It was the next-door neighbor, Mrs. Brown, asking whether her son was there. The young man brusquely replied, "No." Just then a little head appeared over the banister and a voice shouted, "I'm here, Mom, but he won't let me go home." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Father - Daughter Talk A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs; in other words, redistribution of wealth. She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his. One day, she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich, and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professor had to be the truth, and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school. Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends either because she spent all her time studying. Her father listened, then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?" She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties, and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over." Her father asked her, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend Audrey, who only has a 2.0? That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA, and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA." The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy idea! How would that be fair? I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work. And she's done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!" The father slowly smiled and said gently, "Welcome to the Republican Party." ___________________________________________________

Today December 7 in
1431 In Paris, Henry VI of England was crowned King of France. 

1787 Delaware became the first state to ratify the U.S.
constitution becoming the first of the United States. 

1907 At London's National Sporting Club, Eugene Corri became the
first referee to officiate from inside a boxing ring. 

1925 Swimmer Johnny Weissmuller set a world record in the 150-
yard freestyle with a time of 1 minute, 25 and 2/5 seconds. He
went on to play "Tarzan" in several movies. 

1926 The gas operated refrigerator was patented by The Electrolux
Servel Corporation. 
I had one of those in the Yukon.

1941 Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu was
attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack resulted in
Canada declaring war on Japan, followed a day later by the USA. 
Tht caused the U.S. to enter into World War II. 

1946 A fire at the Winecoff Hotel in Atlanta killed 119 people.
It was America's worst hotel fire disaster. The hotel founder, W.
Frank Winecoff, was also killed in the fire. 

1971 Libya announced the nationalization of British Petroleum's
assets. 

1972 Apollo 17 was launched at Cape Canaveral. It was the last
U.S. moon mission. 

1972 Imelda Marcos, wife of Philippine President Ferdinand E.
Marcos, was stabbed and seriously wounded by an assailant. The
man was then shot and killed by her bodyguards. 

1974 President Makarios returned to Cyprus after five months in
exile. 

1980 General Antonio Ramlho Eanes was reelected president of
Portugal. His right-wing opposition was thrown into disarray by
the death of Premier Francisco Sa Carneiro in a plane crash. 

1982 Charlie Brooks Junior, a convicted murderer, became the
first prisoner in the U.S. to be executed by injection, at a
prison in Huntsville, TX. 

1983 Madrid, Spain, an Aviaco DC-9 collided on a runway with an
Iberia Air Lines Boeing 727 that was accelerating for takeoff.
The collision resulted in the death of all 42 people aboard the
DC-9 and 51 on the Iberia jet. 

1987 Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev set foot on American soil
for the first time. He had come to the U.S. for a Washington
summit with U.S. President Reagan. 

1987 43 people were killed when a gunman opened fire on a fellow
passenger and the two pilots aboard a Pacific Southwest Airlines
jetliner. 

1988 An estimated 25,000 people were killed when a major
earthquake hit northern Armenia in the Soviet Union. The quake
measured 6.9 on the Richter Scale. 

1988 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev announced the
reduction of the number of Soviet military troops by half a
million. 

1989 East Germany's Communist Party agreed to cooperate with the
plan for free elections and a revised constitution. 

1992 The U.S. Supreme Court rejected a Mississippi abortion law
which, required women to get counseling and then wait 24 hours
before terminating their pregnancies. 

1993 Six people were killed and 17 were injured when a gunman
opened fire on a Long Island Rail Road commuter train. 

1993 Energy Secretary Hazel O'Leary revealed that the U.S.
government had conducted more than 200 nuclear weapons tests in
secret at its Nevada test site. 

1993 Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders suggested that the U.S.
government study the impact of drug legalization. 

1995 A probe sent from the Galileo spacecraft entered into
Jupiter's atmosphere. The probe sent back data to the mothership
before it was presumably destroyed. 

1996 The space shuttle Columbia returned from the longest-ever
shuttle flight of 17 days, 15 hours and 54 minutes. 

1998 The U.N. evacuated 14 peacekeepers that were trapped by
fighting between army and rebel forces in central Angola. 

1998 U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno declined to seek an
independent counsel investigation of President Clinton over 1996
campaign financing. 

1999 A U.S. federal grand jury indicted a former convict in the
1995 disappearance of atheist leader Madalyn Murray O'Hair. 

2002 In Amsterdam, Netherlands, two Van Gogh paintings were
stolen from the Van Gogh Museum. The two works were "View of the
Sea st Scheveningen" and "Congregation Leaving the Reformed
Church in Nuenen." On July 26, 2004, two men were convicted for
the crime and were sentenced to at least four years in prison
each. 

2002 In Mymensingh, Bangladesh, four movies theaters were bombed
within 30 minutes of each other. At least 15 people were killed
and over 200 were injured. 

2003 A 12-inch by 26-inch painting of a river landscape and
sailing vessel by Martin Johnson Heade was sold at auction for $1
million. The painting was found in the attic of a suburban Boston
home where it had been stored for more than 60 years.

2018  smiled.


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Touchpad solution 




Good Morning, !

Today is Thursday, December 6

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
300-pound woman pleads guilty to fatally 
attacking, crushing boyfriend

https://youtu.be/hBq_r1-G_4E
______________________________________________________
Today, December 6 in
1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a 
state education system. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. --- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931) ______________________________________________________ A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, 'Marian, Marian!' Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, 'You shouldn't call me 'Marian.' I'm your mother, you know.' 'I know,' said the child, 'but the store is full of mothers.' ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A little boy was taken to the dentist. It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled. "Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?" "Chocolate, please," replied the youngster. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction. "Hello," said the little boy "Hi," replied the little girl. "Where are you going?" asked the little boy. "I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home," answered the little girl. "I'm also on my way home from church. Which church do you go to?" asked the little boy. "I go to the Baptist church back down the road," replied the little girl. "What about you?" "I go to the Methodist church back at the top of the hill," replied the little boy. They discover that they are both going the same way so they decided that they'd walk together. They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had partially flooded the road, so there was no way that they could get across to the other side without getting wet. "If I get my new Sunday dress wet, my Mom's going to skin me alive," said the little girl. "My Mom'll tan my hide, too, if I get my new Sunday suit wet," replied the little boy. "I tell you what I think I'll do," said the little girl. "I'm gonna pull off all my clothes and hold them over my head and wade across." "That's a good idea,"replied the little boy. "I'm going to do the same thing with my suit." So they both undressed and waded across to the other side without getting their clothes wet. They were standing there in the sun waiting to drip dry before putting their clothes back on, when the little boy finally remarked "You know, I never realized before just how much difference there really is between a Baptist and a Methodist! ______________________________________________________ Lightbulb changing in Chicago _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Windi Thomas, 44. Erie Pennsylvania 300-pound woman pleads guilty to fatally attacking, crushing boyfriend A woman has pleaded guilty to killing her boyfriend by stabbing him, hitting him with a table leg and crushing him under the weight of her roughly 300 pounds. Windi Thomas, of Erie, faces a sentence of 18 to 36 years after pleading guilty to third-degree murder. She had been scheduled for trial next week, but instead will be sentenced on Dec. 21. The 44-year-old Thomas admitted killing Keeno Butler last March, partially by lying on top of him. Thomas weighs about 300 pounds, while the 44-year-old Butler weighed about 120 pounds. The Erie Times-News reports Thomas told investigators she had been drinking throughout the day and left the apartment to purchase crack cocaine. After she returned home, she was sitting on the couch with a knife and, at one point, cut Butler's hand. Thomas told police that Butler went to the kitchen and returned with a table leg, which she took from him and used to hit him on the head. As the two wrestled on the ground, Thomas said she was able to pin Butler down. Thomas then called 911 and reported she had killed someone. Butler’s death was ruled a homicide “caused by respiratory insufficiency secondary to blunt force trauma to the neck and thoracic compression, exacerbated by blunt force trauma to the head,” according to the affidavit. Butler's sister said her family is still coping with her brother's death and had been hoping for a longer prison sentence for Thomas. “I feel like she should have 40 or more,” Sandra Butler said. “She deserved life.”
From: Joan Re: Touch Pad Dear Webby, You told me once in the 90's to put a cardboard into the touchpad depression. I did. And carefully moved it to new machines every time a machine had to be replaced. My cardboard is thin enough so that if I really whack it with my thumb, it works like the Enter key. Just light movement of the thumb does not affect it at all. I am perfectly happy with your solution. Thanks Joan Dear Joan Thanks for the feedback! It is rare that people tell me how a solution worked. I do appreciate it! Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A bishop discovered a tribe of Indians in the Amazon who had never recorded a baptism, confirm- ation or marriage. The bishop soon rectified the situation by baptizing and confirming everyone. He also married every couple that walked by and desired such. Later, the tribal chief told the Bishop the tribe had never had so much fun. The bishop asked the chief which part they enjoyed the most. "The marriage service," the chief said, smiling. "We all got new wives!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
While attending a convention, I breakfasted in a cafe, next to two gray-haired men from the same symposium. I overheard one remark, "You know, this is the first time in 40 years we've gone to one of these without our wives." His pal leaned back, contemplating what such freedom might portend. "I know," he said, laying his menu aside. "Let's have biscuits and gravy!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Eat Half Your Entree Restaurant serving sizes are often more than a person can or should eat. Try this: as soon as the server sets down a plate, divide your meal in half. Eat half at the restaurant and take the other half home to eat for lunch the following day. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com Denny's Restaurants tend to get carried away a bit, in some towns. Here is a picture of my dad when I took him into Dennys for a well deserved Banana Split in Barstow one year. We had been driving and running through the desert all day, taking pictures of cacti, but that was too much. Dennys also used to get quite carried away with their Chef Salad. You can eat one normal portion and have enough left over to take home for side salads for four people the next day. Have FUN! DearWebby ____________________________________________________
To each his own......I guess.
___________________________________________________ Judy, the editor of a trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer. So she called Prem, the computer guy, over to her desk. Prem clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, Judy called after him, "So, what was wrong?" And he replied, "It was just an "ID ten T" error." A puzzled expression ran over Judy's face. "An "ID ten T" error? What's that?.. in case I need to fix it again??" He gave her a grin... "Haven't you ever heard of an "ID ten T" error before?" "No," replied Judy. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out." She wrote..... I D 1 0 T ___________________________________________________ During our Marine boot-camp class on combat gear, the drill instructor told us to put on the equipment we had been issued; then he would inspect us. Soon after, a frantic recruit, helmet liner in hand, ran up to the DI. "Sir," he began, "the private's helmet liner does not fit the private's head, sir." The DI, obviously perturbed that the recruit hadn't listened to his instructions on how to adjust the liner, looked into the Marine's face. "Okay, private," he said. "This is what I want you to do. Go into the gear locker, find a new head to fit your helmet liner and use that one!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A missionary recruit goes to Venezuela for the first time, struggling with the language. He visits one of the local churches and sits in the front row. So as not to make a fool of himself, he decides to pick someone out of the crowd to imitate. He decides to follow the man sitting next to him in the front pew. As they sing, the man claps his hands, so the missionary recruit claps, too. When the man stands up to pray, the missionary recruit stands up, too. When the man sits down, the missionary sits down. Later in the service, the man next to him stands up again, so the missionary stands up, too. Suddenly a hush falls over the entire congregation. A few people gasp. The missionary looks around and sees that no one else is standing. So he sits down. After the service ends, the missionary recruit greets the preacher. "I take it you don't speak Spanish," the preacher says. The missionary replies, "No, I don't. Is it that obvious?" "Well yes," the preacher says. "I announced that the Acosta family had a new-born baby boy, and I asked the proud father to please stand up." ___________________________________________________

Today December 6 in
1735 In London, French surgeon Claudius Amyand peformed the first
successful appendectomy at St. George's Hospital. The patient was
an 11-year old boy that had swallowed a pin. 

1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a state
education system. 

1865 The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified.
The amendment abolished slavery in the U.S. 

1876 The city of Anaheim was incorporated for a second time. 

1877 Thomas Edison demonstrated the first gramophone, with a
recording of himself reciting Mary Had a Little Lamb. 

1883 "Ladies' Home Journal" was published for the first time. 

1884 The construction of the Washington Monument was completed by
Army engineers. The project took 34 years. 

1889 Jefferson Davis died in New Orleans. He was the first and
only president of the Confederate States of America. 

1907 In Monongah, WV, 361 people were killed in America's worst
mine disaster. 

1917 More than 1,600 people died when two munitions ships
collided in the harbor at Halifax, Nova Scotia. 

1917 Finland proclaimed independence from Russia. 

1921 The Catholic Irish Free State was created as a self-
governing dominion of Britain when an Anglo-Irish treaty was
signed. 

1923 U.S. President Calvin Coolidge became the first president to
give a presidential address that was broadcast on radio. 

1926 In Italy, Benito Mussolini introduced a tax on bachelors. 

1947 Everglades National Park in Florida was dedicated by U.S.
President Truman. 

1957 AFL-CIO members voted to expel the International Brotherhood
of Teamsters. The Teamsters were readmitted in 1987. 

1957 America's first attempt at putting a satellite into orbit
failed when the satellite blew up on the launch pad at Cape
Canaveral, FL. 

1973 Gerald R. Ford was sworn in as the vice-president of the
United States after vice-president Spiro Agnew resigned.

1982 11 soldiers and 6 civilians were killed when a bomb exploded
in a pub in Ballykelly, Northern Ireland. The Irish National
Liberation Army was responsible for planting the bomb. 

1983 In Jerusalem, a bomb planted on a bus exploded killing six
Israelis and wounding 44. 

1985 Congressional negotiators reached an agreement on a deficit-
cutting proposal that later became the Gramm-Rudman-Hollings law.


1989 The worst mass shooting in Canadian history occurred when a
man gunned down 14 women at the University of Montreal's school
of engineering. The man then killed himself. 

1989 Egon Krenz resigned as leader of East Germany. 

1990 Iraq announced that it would release all its 2,000 foreign
hostages. 

1992 Germany's primary political parties agreed to tighten
postwar asylum laws. 

1992 In India, thousands of Hindu extremists destroyed a mosque.
The following two months of Hindu-Muslim rioting resulted in at
least 2,000 people being killed. 

1993 Former priest James R. Porter was sentenced to 18 to 20
years in prison. Porter had admitted molesting 28 children in the
1960s. 

1994 Orange County, CA, filed for bankruptcy protection due to
investment losses of about $2 billion. The county is one of the
richest in the U.S. and became the largest municipality to file
for bankruptcy. 

1997 A Russian Antonov 124 military transport crashed into a
residential area in Irkutsk, Russia, shortly after takeoff. 70
people were killed. 

1998 In Venezuela, former Lieutenant Colonel Hugo Chavez was
elected president. He had staged a bloody coup attempt against
the government six years earlier. 

1998 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavour connected the
first two building blocks of the international space station in
the shuttle cargo bay. 

2002 Winona Ryder was sentenced to 36 months of probation and 480
hours of community service stemming from her conviction for
shoplifting from Saks Fifth Avenue. She was also ordered to pay
$10,000 in fines and restitution. 

2002 Officials released the detailed plans for a $4.7 million
memorial commemorating Princess Diana. The large oval fountain
was planned to be constructed in London's Hyde Park.

2018  smiled.


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Wandering mouse cursor 




Good Morning, !

Today is Wednesday, December 5

Where I grew up in Austria, December 5 was the day Santa 
came by, and read the kids the riot act about their behavior
during the year. 

Because of my frequently not so exemplary behavior, I was often
threatened with getting sent to Jagdberg, an ancient castle
converted to a juvenile jail and reform school. Well, I never
quite got sent there.

When I was 18 a college professor volunteered me to go play Santa
at Jagdberg. Beside stage fright, there was the fear they would
lock me up there, but I dressed up in the supplied garments,
hopped on my motorcycle and roared up there.

At Jagdberg they gave me a glass of Cherry Water Schnapps to calm
my nerves, and for each classroom a stack of papers. I called the
name on the top sheet, and read that kid's sins, then gave him or
her a paper bag filled with goodies.

Probably thanks to the Schnapps by the time I got to the second
classroom, I got right into my act and really lit into the little
twerps. 

I think they had about 16 classrooms, but by the time I was done
with them all, I was sorry it was already finished.
They gave me a couple of very tasty salami sandwiches and a
coffee, and I left.

On the way back I stopped at the place where my gtirlfriend
stayed, a dormitory attached to the hospital nunnery. She tossed
the key down when she heard my bike, and I silently crept up the
stone steps to her floor and her room. 
Well some other girl was lurking and so I had to play Santa for
her too. I only had a small bag of goodies for my girlfriend, so
the lurker just got a hug and a kiss and a grope from Santa. She
was happy.

And shortly after that, my girlfriend was made happy by Santa
himself.

The sky was just beginning to lighten in the East when I finally
rode my bike home.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Mom charged after OWI arrest led to 
4-year-old being found alone in tow lot 

______________________________________________________
Today, December 5 in
1951 The first push button-controlled garage opened in
Washington, DC. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Writing well means never having to say, 'I guess you had to be there.' --- Jef Mallett, Frazz, 07-29-07 Mustard's no good without roast beef. --- Chico Marx (1891 - 1961) ______________________________________________________ David was a crotchety old fellow who always took breakfast with his wife. He would read the morning paper while she fumed at his neglect, and today of all days because it was their 25th wedding anniversary. “David!! David!! Put down that paper and let’s talk about how we are going to celebrate our wedding anniversary today. What do you suggest?” David put his newspaper down, removed and polished his glasses, stared for a moment into the distance, then said, “How about two minutes of silence?” ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Mary for this: When you get angry it's because you're ill-tempered... It just happens that my nerves are bothering me. When you don't like someone it's because you're prejudiced... I just happen to be a good judge of human nature. When you compliment people it's because you use flattery to get your way... I only encourage people. When you take a long time to do a job it's because you're unbearable slow and pokey... I take a long time because I believe in quality workmanship. When you spend your paycheck in 24 hours, it's because you're a spendthrift... When I do, it's because I'm generous. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ An English professor wrote the words, "A woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing." ______________________________________________________ I see you! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Blair Springfield, 28, Milwaukee County, Wisconsin Mom charged after OWI arrest led to 4-year-old being found alone in tow lot pleads not guilty A 28-year-old Milwaukee mother whose OWI arrest led to her 4- year-old daughter being found alone in a van in the city tow lot hours later has been ordered to stand trial. On Tuesday, Nov. 27 Blair Springfield waived her right to a preliminary hearing, and pleaded not guilty. Springfield faces 10 charges:
  • OWI, first offense, with a passenger under the age of 16
  • Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6 years or disability)
  • Neglecting a child (specified harm did not occur)
  • Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6 years or disability)
  • Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6 years or disability)
  • Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6 years or disability)
  • OWI, first offense with a passenger under the age of 16
  • Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6 years or disability
  • Neglecting a child (harm did not occur and child under 6 years or disability
  • Operating with a prohibited alcohol concentration with a passenger under the age of 16
Springfield pleaded not guilty to three of the charges on Saturday, Nov. 17, when she appeared in court for the first time — Count 1, Count 3, Count 7 and Count 10. Cash bond was set at $1,500. Springfield was taken into custody near 39th and Forest Home on Nov. 12, after prosecutors said she passed out behind the wheel of a minivan. She was not charged in that case. Her adult passenger and baby were removed from the vehicle, but the 4-year-old was left in the back seat. Prosecutors said the child was not mentioned by her mother and also missed by officers. The incident happened just weeks after prosecutors said Springfield passed out in a McDonald's drive-thru with children and bottles of vodka in the car. Milwaukee County Circuit Court Judge Cynthia Davis ordered the latest case go to trial during Springfield's court hearing on Tuesday. If convicted, Springfield could gain more time behind bars. She could also lose the children. The Milwaukee Police Department has not yet released squad or body camera footage from Nov. 12, the night Springfield was arrested. Springfield's next court appearance has been scheduled for Dec. 5.
From: Joyce Re: Wandering Arrow Dear Webby, I hope you can help me.I thought i seen it once on here & forgot to save it. What a ninnie i was there. OK when I am just reading or browesing pages, the arrow on my laptop just takes off. How can i stop it from doing that, but i need step by step instrustion, or i can't do it cause i am a ninnie & my daughter don't like helping. Love your letter every morning Thank You Joyce Dear Joyce The mouse arrow taking off is usually not due to a program setting, but to your thumb on the silly touch pad on the laptop. Since you have a mouse anyway, just cut a piece of cardboard to just fit the touch pad level with the keyboard area. Problem solved instantly. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year." His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, "That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl. Regardless of how you said it, I accept!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Bernie was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at the grocery store!" "Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Bernie boy decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answered and Bernie said, "May I speak with the Vice President of prunes, please?" The clerk replied, "Dried, canned or frozen?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Bank Those Savings for Next Christmas When I save money by using coupons or buying something on sale, I put the saved money into a savings account. By the end of the year I have enough money in the account to pay for Christmas presents without having to go into debt. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
A 12 million year old praying mantis encased in amber.
___________________________________________________ While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a cop, apparently waist deep in snow, directing traffic. Feeling sorry for him, the motorist called out "I'm sorry you have to work half buried in the snow." The cop called back "Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for my horse!" ___________________________________________________ A man had a terrible passion for baked beans, but they always had a somewhat lively effect on him. After he met the woman of his dreams, he made the supreme sacrifice and gave them up; he couldn't imagine subjecting his new wife to his beastly emissions. On his birthday, his car broke down, so he called his wife and told her he'd have to walk home. He walked past a cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he was still a couple of miles from home, he figured he could indulge, and then walk off any ill effects. So he had three extra-large helpings of beans, and he "put-putted" all the way home. His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, "Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!" She blindfolded him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table, making him promise not to peek. At this point, he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang and she went to answer it. While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but ripe as a rotten egg. He gasped and felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. This one sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. He tried flapping his arms, to clear the air. But another one snuck out, and the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook, and a minute later, the flowers on the table were dead. When he heard his wife ending her conversation, he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. He was the picture of innocence when she walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. He assured her he had not, so she removed the blindfold and yelled, "Surprise!!!" To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party. Two were dead, ten were dyiing. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" "Manure," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy. "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours." ___________________________________________________

Today December 5 in
1560 Charles IX succeeded as King of France on the death of
Francis II. 

1766 James Christie, founder of the famous auctioneers, held his
first sale in London. 

1797 Napoleon Bonaparte arrived in Paris to command forces for
the invasion of England. 

1812 Napoleon Bonaparte left his army as they were retreating
from Russia. 

1848 U.S. President Polk triggered the Gold Rush of '49 by
confirming the fact that gold had been discovered in California. 

1876 The Stillson wrench was patented by D.C. Stillson. The
device was the first practical pipe wrench. 

1904 The Russian fleet was destroyed by the Japanese at Port
Arthur, during the Russo-Japanese War. 

1908 At the University of Pittsburgh, numerals were first used on
football uniforms worn by college football players. 

1913 Britain outlawed the sending of arms to Ireland. 

1932 German physicist Albert Einstein was granted a visa making
it possible for him to enter the U.S. even though he was a Jew. 

1933 Prohibition came to an end when Utah became the 36th state
to ratify the 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. 

1934 Fighting broke out between Italian and Ethiopian troops on
the Somalian border. 

1934 The Soviet Union executed 66 people charged with plotting
against Joseph Stalin's government. 

1935 In Montebello, CA, the first commercial hydroponics
operation was established. 

1936 The Soviet Union adopted a new Constitution under a Supreme
Council. 

1944 During World War II, Allied troops took Ravenna, Italy. 

1945 The so-called "Lost Squadron" disappeared. The five U.S.
Navy Avenger bombers carrying 14 Navy flyers began a training
mission at the Ft. Lauderdale Naval Air Station. They were never
heard from again. 

1951 The first push button-controlled garage opened in
Washington, DC. 

1955 The American Federation of Labor and the Congress of
Industrial Organizations merged to form the AFL-CIO. 

1956 British and French forces began a withdrawal from Egypt
during the Suez War. 

1958 Britain's first freeway, the Preston by-pass, was opened by
Prime Minister Macmillan. 

1961 United Nations forces launched an attack in Katanga, the
Congo, near Elizabethville. 

1962 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to cooperate in the
peaceful uses of outer space. 

1971 The Soviet Union, at United Nations Security Council, vetoed
a resolution calling for a cease-fire in hostilities between
India and Pakistan over Kashmir. 

1976 Jacques Chirac re-founded the Gaullist party as the RPR
(Rassemblement pour la République). 

1977 Egypt broke diplomatic relations with Syria, Libya, Algeria,
Iraq and South Yemen due to peaceful relations with Israel. 

1978 The American space probe Pioneer Venus I, orbiting Venus,
began beaming back its first information and picture of the
planet. 

1979 Sonia Johnson was formally excommunicated by the Mormon
Church due to her outspoken support for the proposed Equal Rights
Amendment to the Constitution. 

1983 In west Beirut, Lebanon, more than a dozen people were
killed when a car bomb shattered a nine-story apartment building.


1983 The video arcade game "NFL Football" was unveiled in
Chicago. It was the first video arcade game to be licensed by the
National Football League. 

1984 Iran's official news agency quoted the hijackers of a
Kuwaiti jetliner parked at Tehran airport as saying they would
blow up the plane unless Kuwait released 14 imprisoned
extremists. 

1985 The Dow Jones Industrial Average rose above 1,500 for the
first time. 

1986 The Soviet Union said it would continue to abide by the SALT
II treaty limits on nuclear weapons. This was despite the
decision by the U.S. to exceed them. 

1988 Jim Bakker and former aide Richard Dortch were indicted by a
federal grand jury in North Carolina on fraud and conspiracy
charges. 

1989 Israeli soldiers killed five heavily armed Arab guerrillas
who crossed the border from Egypt. The guerrillas were allegedly
going to launch a terrorist attack commemorating the anniversary
of the Palestinian uprising. 

1989 East Germany's former leaders were placed under house
arrest. 

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin kept the power to appoint
Cabinet ministers, defeating a constitutional amendment that
would have put his team of reformers under the control of
Russia's Congress. 

1998 James P. Hoffa became the head of the Teamsters union, 23
years after his father was the head. His father disappeared and
was presumed dead. 

2001 In Germany, Afghan leaders signed a pact to create a
temporary administration for post-Taliban Afghanistan. Two women
were included in the cabinet structure. Hamid Karzai and his
Cabinet were planned to take over power in Afghanistan on
December 22. 

2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 300 million applications
downloaded. 

2010 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft became the longest-operating
spacecraft ever sent to Mars. The Odyssey entered orbit around
Mars on October 23, 2001. 

2014 NASA's Orion Multi-Purpose Crew Vehicle (MPCV) debuted when
it was launched for a four hour test flight. It landed on target
in the Pacific Ocean. 

2018  smiled.


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Not receiving newsletters 





Good Morning, !

Today is Tuesday, December 4

The Gavle Goat, the huge straw goat in Sweden, is up!


They have a web cam working intermittently at 
http://visitgavle.se/sv/gavlebocken
It is working a bit once in a while, but they 
definitely need some help.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Man says he's not required to register 
vehicle due to personal beliefs. Jailed now

______________________________________________________
Today, December 4 in
1993 The Angolan government and its UNITA guerrilla foes formally
adopted terms for a truce. The conflict was killing an estimated
1,000 people per day. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible. --- Jean Kerr If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure? --- Harry Shearer ______________________________________________________ >From Lise My five children and I were playing hide-and-seek one evening. With the lights turned off in the house, the kids scattered to hide, and I was "it." After a few minutes I located all of them. When it was my turn to hide, they searched high and low but couldn't find me. Finally one of my sons got a bright idea. He went to the phone and dialed; they found me immediately because my phone started beeping. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: At the banquet of their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such long duration. "Tell us, Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife?" Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ On the occasion of their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Billy-Bob decided to forego a big party and treat Linda-Sue to a memorable evening at home. Quietly filling the bathtub with champagne, he called her into the bathroom and they spent a sensual evening soaking in the tub by candlelight. When they were finished, Billy-Bob decided he couldn't let all that expensive champagne go to waste, so he carefully poured it back into the empty bottles. However, when he was finished, he found he had nearly a half-bottle too much. ______________________________________________________ Lake Michigan _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Steven Logan Lincoln, Nebraska Man says he's not required to register vehicle due to personal beliefs Lincoln Police arrested a 35-year-old-man for failing to comply with an officer during a traffic stop when he said he didn't have to register his vehicle due to personal beliefs. Officers pulled over Steven Logan near 42nd and Baldwin streets on Nov. 29th, shortly after 9 p.m. After parking his car, police say Logan starting walking away from his vehicle. The officer told him to stop but he refused and kept walking so the officer grabbed Logan's arm. The officer then noticed Logan had a firearm and detained him. When asked for his identification, he told the officer that due to his personal beliefs, he's not required to register his vehicle. He was arrested for failing to comply, no insurance and no valid registration.
From: Kathy Re: Not receiving newsletter Dear Webby, Why haven't I been getting any emails from you I haven't gotten any in a while now Dear Kathy Your subscription goes out to kg*****@gmail.com Check your spam and trash and categories. You can search ALL MAIL You might have to make a filter to ensure GMAIL does not put your Humor Letter anywhere else but in the INBOX. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong. She must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The vicar spoke to Jane in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When you're hospitalized, it pays to be nice to your nurse, even when you're feeling miserable. A bossy businessman learned this the hard way after ordering his nurses around as if they were his employees. But the head nurse stood up to him. One morning she entered his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth. "No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated," but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer." This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his bottom. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay just like that until I get back!" She left the door to his room open on her way out, and he cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor. Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?" "Yes," said the doctor. "But never with a carnation." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Save Old Toothbrushes Save old toothbrushes to use in your cleaning kit and tool box. Hard bristled toothbrushes work well for cleaning stubborn grout or hard to reach places. Soft bristled toothbrushes are effective on jewelry. They are useful for a variety of cleaning jobs. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Peter Jackson's Restored and Colorized WW1 Film is Unlike Anything I've Seen
___________________________________________________ Soon after I retired from the Air Force, I went to work in a warehouse where several other military retirees were employed. One day we received a large crate too big to fit in our storage area. A retired Army sergeant major immediately took charge. After 45 minutes of rearranging items and using various lifting devices, he finally got the crate in place. "And that's how the Army gets things done!" he boasted. "That's the Army way," said an Air Force retiree. "The Air Force would have made the delivery person put the crate away and gone for coffee." ___________________________________________________ >From Ann Today Is Not a Good Day Today is not a good day. I woke up sick in bed. My stomach has a stabbing pain thats spreading to my head. My knees are weak and achy. My eyes are full of flu. I fear I may contaminate; I have a fever too. I cannot see. I cannot breathe. I cannot read or write. My eyes are shut. My nose is blocked. Im not a pretty sight. I cannot lift a finger or move a tired toe. My throat is hot and scratchy. The answers simply NO . . . I cannot go to school today; Im awfully sorry too, this had to happen on the day my book report was due. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
1812 Peter Gaillard patented the power mower. 1867 The National Grange of Husbandry was founded. 1875 William Marcy Tweed, the "Boss" of New York City's Tammany Hall political organization, escaped from jail and fled from the U.S. 1918 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson set sail for France to attend the Versailles Peace Conference. Wilson became the first chief executive to travel to Europe while in office. 1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the dismantling of the Works Progress Administration. The program had been created in order to provide jobs during the Great Depression. 1942 U.S. bombers attacked the Italian mainland for the first time during World War II. 1943 Baseball Commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis announced that any club was free to employ black players. 1945 The U.S. Senate approved American participation in the United Nations. 1965 The U.S. launched Gemini 7 with Air Force Lt. Col. Frank Borman and Navy Comdr. James A. Lovell on board. 1973 Pioneer 10 reached Jupiter. 1977 Jean-Bedel Bokassa, ruler of the Central African Empire, crowned himself emperor in a ceremony believed to have cost more than $100 million. He was deposed 2 years later. 1978 Dianne Feinstein became San Francisco's first woman mayor when she was named to replace George Moscone, who had been murdered. 1979 For the second time, the United Nations Security Council voted unanimously to urge Iran to free American hostages that had been taken on November 4. 1980 The bodies of four American nuns slain in El Salvador two days earlier were unearthed. Five national guardsmen were later convicted of the murders. 1983 U.S. jet fighters struck Syrian anti-aircraft positions in Lebanon in retaliation for attacks directed at American reconnaissance planes. Navy Lt. Robert O. Goodman Jr. was shot down and captured by Syria. 1984 A five-day hijack drama began as four men seized a Kuwaiti airliner en route to Pakistan and forced it to land in Tehran. Two American passengers were killed by the hijackers. 1986 Both U.S. houses of Congress moved to establish special committees to conduct their own investigations of the Iran-Contra affair. 1987 Cuban inmates at a federal prison in Atlanta freed their 89 hostages, peacefully ending an 11-day uprising. 1988 The government of Argentina announced that hundreds of heavily armed soldiers had ended a four-day military revolt. 1990 Iraq promised to release 3,300 Soviet citizens it was holding. 1991 Associated Press correspondent Terry Anderson was released after nearly seven years in captivity in Lebanon. 1991 Pan American World Airways ceased operations. 1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered American troops to lead a mercy mission to Somalia. 1993 The Angolan government and its UNITA guerrilla foes formally adopted terms for a truce. The conflict was killing an estimated 1,000 people per day. 1994 Bosnian Serbs released 53 out of about 400 UN peacekeepers they were holding as insurance against further NATO airstrikes. 1997 The National Basketball Association (NBA) suspended Latrell Sprewell of the Golden State Warriors for one year for choking and threatening to kill his coach, P.J. Carlesimo. 2000 O.J. Simpson was involved in an incident with another motorist in Miami, FL. Simpson was accused of scratching the other motorists face while pulling off the man's glasses. 2001 O.J. Simpson's home in Florida was raided by the FBI in an ongoing two year international investigation into drug trafficking, satellite service pilfering and money laundering. An unused satellite TV tuner kit was taken from Simpson's home and no drugs were found. 2018 smiled.


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Not sent mail returned 




Good Morning, !

Today is Monday, December 3

The Gavle Goat, the huge straw goat in Sweden, is up!

They are still disorganized with the live web cams, but
hopefully they can get them working soon.
Every year it is a competition to see if the good people can
protect the goat, or whether the punks can set it on fire.
Millions of people all over the world watch the web cams 
hoping to see the punks in time to alert the cops and 
fire department.

Once I find a working live web cam, I will post it again, 
as usual. 

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
British man who was part of a paedophile ring has been 
found guilty of plotting to rape a seven-month-old baby.

______________________________________________________
Today, December 3 in
1910 The neon lamp was displayed for the first time at the Paris
Motor Show. The lamp was developed by French physicist Georges
Claude. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety. --- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. --- Robert Frost A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic. --- Joseph Stalin (1879 - 1953) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Martin for returning this classic: A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates. As he enters, he asks St. Peter, 'I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?' St. Peter said, 'That's a question only God can answer.' So the zebra went off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked, 'God, please - I must know. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?' God simply replied 'You are what you are.' The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, 'Well, did God straighten out your query for you?' The zebra looked puzzled. 'No sir, God simply said 'You are what you are.'' St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, 'Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes.' The zebra asked St. Peter, 'How do you know that for certain?' 'Because,' said St. Peter, 'If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, 'You is what you is.'' (.. Caution... If you laugh at this, Al Sharpton & Jesse will be on yo' ahss) ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dolly for this: My face in the mirror Isn't wrinkled or drawn. My house isn't dirty. The cobwebs are gone. My garden looks lovely, And so does my lawn. I think I might never..... Put my glasses back on. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ At school Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your father a big hug." ______________________________________________________ Camo Cat _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mathew Law, 50 in jail, Bristol, Britain British man who was part of a paedophile ring has been found guilty of plotting to rape a seven-month-old baby. Mathew Law, 50, is the eighth person to be convicted as part of an investigation by the National Crime Agency (NCA), following a two week trial at Bristol Crown Court. He first came into contact with the paedophile ring, who communicated using anonymous software Tor and the dark web, through prominent member Christopher Knight. Knight, 38, was jailed for 24 years in 2015 after being convicted of rape of a child under 13, conspiracy to rape a child under 13, sexual assault of a child under 13 and possessing indecent images of children. Law pleaded guilty to conspiring to rape a child under the age of 13 and has been remanded into custody to be sentenced at a later date. ‘Mathew Law is the eighth individual to be jailed since this investigation began in 2014,’ Luke Phillips from the NCA said.
From: Debbie Re: Not sent mail returned Dear Webby, Here I am again...:o) I just got an email that said "Your message has encountered delivery problems to the following recipient(s): claudio.oliveira@twaron.com.br Delivery failed User not known" I know I can trust you. I don't know who this person is. I didn't email anyone with that address. Attached are two files AT00026.dat and AT00029.dat could these be some kind of a virus or spy ware? Thank you so much for saving my day so many times! Debbie Delete the attached files and then delete that email. That Brasilian address is just a spoof, to make you curious enough to click on those attachments. That email was sent from an infected machine that has your address in an Outlook Express address book, probably the machine of a friend or relative of yours. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Cookie for this story: A Minnesota Department of Highways employee stopped at a farm and talked with an old farmer. He told the farmer, "I need to inspect your farm for a possible new road." The old farmer said, "OK, but don't go in that field." The Highways employee said, "Listen mister, I have the authority of the State of Minnesota to go where I want. See this card? I am allowed to go wherever I wish on farm land." So the old farmer went over, sat down and picked up his newpaper. Later, he heard loud screams and saw the Department of Highways employee running for the fence and close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets and the bull was gaining on the Highways employee at every step. The old farmer called out, "Show him your card, smartass!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Sandie for this story: Ruth took her car to her mechanic. She told him 'Every time I Take any of my friends out in my car, After a while there is this terrible smell !! . It never happens when I am driving alone'?? This intrigued the mechanic, so he said, 'OK, lets go for a spin And see what the problem is.' Off they went. She drove down a one-way street in the wrong direction At 70 MPH, swerving, Hitting the curb on both sides of the street, Narrowly missed three pedestrians in Pedestrian crossings, Ran several red lights, And just missed a Policeman on street traffic duty. Then, they returned to the shop, and she said, 'There it is now... there's that terrible smell! Can you smell it?' 'Smell it? Lady, I'm sittin' in it ! ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Credit Card Rewards Don't be fooled by a credit card company's claims that credit cards can help you save money. Finance charges quickly erase any benefits that credit cards offer in cash back incentives unless you pay your credit card off at the end of each month. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Peter Jackson’s Restored and Colorized WW1 Film is Unlike Anything I’ve Seen
___________________________________________________ Mother cat with several kittens are walking in the park when a handsome Tom cat walks by and says, "Hi, Honey." Mother cat says, "Don't you 'Honey' me! You said we were only fighting!" ___________________________________________________ Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates, a father asked the boy how much his last date had cost. The son calculated a minute then replied, "Oh, about $15 or so I think." "Well," said the Father, "I'm proud of you for finally coming up with an inexpensive evening." "To be honest Dad," the son went on, "we'd have spent more, but that was all the money she had." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
"Vocabulary Building" 404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him ... he's 404 man." ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. ALPHA GEEK: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. ASSMOSIS - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss. BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible. DILBERTED - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week." IDEA HAMSTERS: People who always seem to have their idea generators running in reverse.

Today December 3 in
1792 The trial of France's King Louis XVI began. He was
eventually put to death for the 33 charges. 

1833 Oberlin College in Ohio opened as the first truly
coeducational school of higher education in the United States. 

1835 In Rhode Island, the Manufacturer Mutual Fire Insurance
Company issued the first fire insurance policy. 

1910 The neon lamp was displayed for the first time at the Paris
Motor Show. The lamp was developed by French physicist Georges
Claude. 

1917 The Quebec Bridge opened for traffic after almost 20 years
of planning and construction. The bridge suffered partial
collapses in 1907 (August 29) and 1916 (September 11). 

1931 Alka Seltzer was sold for the first time. 

1947 The Tennessee Williams play "A Streetcar Named Desire"
opened at Broadway's Ethel Barrymore Theater. 

1948 The "Pumpkin Papers" came to public light. The House Un-
American Activities Committee announced that former Communist spy
Whittaker Chambers had produced microfilm of secret documents
hidden inside a pumpkin on his Maryland farm. 

1967 In Cape Town, South Africa, a team of surgeons headed by Dr.
Christian Barnard, performed the first human heart transplant on
Louis Washkansky. Washkansky only lived 18 days after that. 

1967 The famed luxury train, "20th Century Limited," completed
its final run from New York to Chicago. 

1968 The rules committee of Major League Baseball (MLB) announced
that in 1969 the pitcher's mound would be lowered from 15 to 10
inches. This was done in order to "get more batting action." 

1973 Pioneer 10 sent back the first close-up images of Jupiter.
The first outer-planetary probe had been launched from Cape
Canaveral, FL, on March 2, 1972. 

1983 3-foot-high concrete barriers were installed at two White
House entrances. 

1984 In Bhopal, India, more than 2,000 people were killed after a
cloud of poisonous gas escaped from a pesticide plant. The plant
was operated by a Union Carbide subsidiary. 

1992 The UN Security Council unanimously approved a U.S.-led
military mission to help starving Somalians. 

1992 The Greek tanker "Aegean Sea" ran aground at La Coruna,
Spain and spilled 21.5 million gallons of crude oil. 

1993 Britain's Princess Diana announced she would be limiting her
public appearances because she was tired of the media's
intrusions into her life. 

1993 Angola's government and its rebel enemies agreed to a cease-
fire in their 18-year war. 

1994 Rebel Serbs in Bosnia failed to keep a pledge to release
hundreds of UN peacekeepers. 

1995 Former South Korean president Chun Doo-hwan was arrested for
his role in a 1979 coup. 

1997 In Ottawa, Canada, more than 120 countries were represented
to sign a treaty prohibiting the use and production of anti-
personnel land mines. The United States, China and Russia did not
sign the treaty. 

1997 South Korea received $55 billion from the International
Monetary Fund to bailout its economy. 

1999 Tori Murden became the first woman to row across the
Atlantic Ocean alone. It took her 81 days to reach the French
Caribbean island of Guadeloupe from the Canary Islands. 

1999 The World Trade Organization (WTO) concluded a four-day
meeting in Seattle, WA, without setting an agenda for a new round
of trade talks. The meeting was met with fierce protests by
various groups who had no clue what the meeting was aboout, but
they caused $2 Billion in damages. 

1999 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA)
lost radio contact with the Mars Polar Lander as it entered Mars'
atmosphere. The spacecraft was unmanned. 

2010 The Boeing X-37 returned to Earth on successfully after its
first orbital mission. It launched on April 22, 2010. 

2018  smiled.


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Your own web site 




Good Morning, !

Today is Sunday, December 2

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Milwaukee woman, 18, facing 2nd DUI charge 
after leading deputies on 100 mph chase

______________________________________________________
Today, December 1 in
1961 Cuban leader Fidel Castro declared in a nationally broadcast
speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist and that he was going to
lead Cuba to communism. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. --- Larry Hardiman Rules are just helpful guidelines for stupid people who can't make up their own minds. --- Seth Hoffman A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. --- Wilson Mizner ______________________________________________________ Nancy called me as she was driving to an appointment. She arrived, and I could tell from her voice that she was getting frustrated. Finally she said, "I know I had my cell phone with me. And now I can't find it!" I replied, "Aren't you talking on it!?" There was a solid period of stunned silence as the reality of the situation sank in - followed by, "You are NOT going to tell anybody about this!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Connie for this report: In a small town, a man just opened a small store selling trumpets and guns. One day his neighbor pays him a visit and says: "So how is your strange business going?" "What do you mean strange?" "Because you sell only trumpets and guns!" "So?" "Well, let me put it this way, what do you sell the most, trumpets or guns?" "It evens itself out. Each time a customer buys a trumpet, one of his neighbors buys a gun." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ At a local coffee bar, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry must be a shining light amongst company. He must be musical. Tell jokes. Sing. And stay home at night!" A grandmotherly patron at the next table overheard and spoke up, "Girl, what you are asking for is a television set!" ______________________________________________________ >From Linda St. Augustine Lighthouse (Florida _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Marissa Lucero, 18, Milwaukee, Wisconsin Milwaukee woman, 18, facing 2nd DUI charge after leading deputies on 100 mph chase The Milwaukee County Sheriff's Office tells FOX6 News an 18-year- old Milwaukee woman was arrested for her second OWI offense early Tuesday morning, Nov. 27. Officials say Marissa Lucero led deputies on a chase reaching speeds of 100 mph. According to the sheriff's office, just after midnight deputies tracked a vehicle traveling on I-43 going 71 in a 50 mph zone. Authorities attempted to stop the vehicle, but it did not stop. A chase ensued and officials say the fleeing driver reached speeds in excess of 100 mph and veered through traffic. After exiting at Capitol Drive, officials say the vehicle struck a curb and damaged a front tire and axle. It came to a stop on a median near Messmer High School. The chase wasn't over. Lucero can be seen making a run for it just as backup arrives. Law enforcement can be seen giving chase. Lucero was captured by deputies and arrested. While leading Lucero back to the squad car, emotions took over. Lucero can be heard screaming for her mother over and over. Deputies found a half bottle of vodka on the front passenger floor of the vehicle she crashed. Two deputies received minor injuries in the chase. The sheriff's office says this is Lucero's second OWI offense -- with a previous arrest in May of this year. Lucero was not allowed to be behind the wheel due to the previous conviction. According to the sheriff's office, Lucero faces felony charges of Vehicle Operator Flee/Elude an Officer, 2nd Degree Recklessly Endangering Safety, and Resisting/Obstructing an Officer-Causing Soft Tissue Injury. Lucero will also receive a misdemeanor charge of Operating After Revocation-OWI-related, citations for speeding, and Refuse to Submit to Intox/Blood. If convicted on all charges, Lucero faces up to 20 years and nine months in prison. Lucero's bail has been set at over $6,000, so that she can afford to have another dingbat malfunction by the time she goes to court.
From: George Re: My own web site Dear Webby, You advertise web space from $2.50 up. I can get web space for free from my ISP, but their support is somewhere in Asia and anything but helpful. They just deal with complaints and don't volunteer any useful information. For design they charge a ridiculous amount that obviously is just intended to totally discourage that avenue. I would imagine that the design costs extra even with your set-up. What would be a reasonable guess for a small business site? George Dear George That depends entirely on how much information you can provide. Actual design is cheap, because we are good and fast with it. However, interrogation to drag the information out of you, about what you might want on your site, that is $150 / hour. If you gather the information together and put it into an email, attach the pictures you want on the site and describe what you want to accomplish, then the design will be $50. We will set it up with re-usable blocks like headers, side-menu, footers, etc. and easy to update content blocks. For a consistent corporate look and feel you can clone any page and just use a different content block, and we show you how to do that. With our system, the only difficult part is the getting around to getting started gathering your info. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
The aged patient doddered into the doctor's office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive." "Come on now GopherBait," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head." "That's what I mean, you've got to lower it a little."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A bus of politicians is driving by a farm where a man lives alone. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery, loses control and crashes into the ditch. The man comes out and finding the politicians, buries them. The next day, the police are at the farm questioning the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?" The man answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Buying Winter Clothes Now is a great time of year to get good deal on winter clothing as stores make space for spring apparel. You can also find deep discounts on ski and snowboarding equipment in the next couple months. 8 Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Wander through the Sicilian village in a cave frozen in time.
___________________________________________________ A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of lillies. "Tch Tch!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can help." So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, "What are you doing, my friend?" "Fishin', sir." "Fishin', eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?" The old man stood up, put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of beer and a fine cigar. His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch this morning?" The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!" ___________________________________________________ Morris was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge. He turned to his wife Sherry, with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest schmucks get the most attractive wives." His wife replies, "Why thank you, dear!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A Jewish lady goes into a furniture store owned by a Jewish man. She picks out a lamp she likes and brings it to the counter. She finds out the price is $69.95 and says, "Oy, down the street at Goldstein's these are only $49.95!" The owner asks why she doesn't buy it from Goldstein's, and she says because they just ran out of them. The owner then says, "Ha! When I'm out of them, they're only $29.95!"

Today December 2 in
1804 Napoleon was crowned emperor of France at the Cathedral of
Notre Dame in Paris. 

1816 The first savings bank in the U.S., the Philadelphia Savings
Fund Society, opened for business. 

1823 U.S. President James Monroe outlined his doctrine opposing
European expansion in the Western Hemisphere. 

1901 Gillette patented the KC Gillette Razor. It was first razor
to feature a permanent handle and disposable double-edge razor
blades. 

1917 During World War I, hostilities were suspended on the
eastern front. 

1927 The Ford Motor Company unveiled the Model A automobile. It
was the successor to the Model T. 

1939 New York's La Guardia Airport began operations as an
airliner from Chicago landed at 12:01 a.m. 

1942 A self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction was demonstrated by
Dr. Enrico Fermi and his staff at the University of Chicago. 

1954 The U.S. Senate voted to condemn Sen. Joseph R. McCarthy for
what it called "conduct that tends to bring the Senate into
dishonor and disrepute." The censure was related to McCarthy's
controversial investigation of suspected communists in the U.S.
government, military and civilian society. 

1961 Cuban leader Fidel Castro declared in a nationally broadcast
speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist and that he was going to
lead Cuba to communism. 

1969 The Boeing 747 jumbo jet got its first public preview as 191
people flew from Seattle, WA, to New York City, NY. Most of the
passengers were reporters and photographers. 

1970 The Environmental Protection Agency began operations. 

1980 The Central Committee of Poland’s Communist Party announced
major Politburo changes. The changes were aimed at coping with
labor unrest. 

1982 Doctors at the University of Utah implanted a permanent
artificial heart in the chest of retired dentist Barney Clark. He
lived 112 days with the device. The operation was the first of
its kind. 

1988 Benazir Bhutto was sworn in as prime minister of Pakistan. 

1989 V.P. Singh was sworn in as prime minister of India. 

1990 Chancellor Hekmut Kohl's coalition won the first free all-
German elections since 1932. 

1990 The Midwest section of the U.S. prepared for a massive
earthquake predicted by Iben Browning. The earthquakes did not
occur. 

1992 Germany's lower house of parliament voted in favor of the
Maastricht Treaty on European unity. 

1993 The space shuttle Endeavor blasted off on a mission to fix
the Hubble Space Telescope. 

1994 The U.S. government agreed not to seek a recall of allegedly
fire-prone General Motors pickup trucks. A deal was made with GM
under which the company would spend more than $51 million on
safety and research. 

1995 NASA launched a U.S.-European observatory on a $1 billion
dollar mission intended to study the sun. 

1997 U.S. Attorney General Janet Reno declined to seek an
independent counsel investigation of telephone fund-raising by
President Clinton and Vice President Gore. She had concluded that
they had not violated election laws. 

1998 Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates donated $100 million to
help immunize children in developing countries. 

1999 The British government transferred political power over the
province of Northern Ireland to the Northern Ireland Executive. 

2001 Enron Corp. filed for Chapter 11 reorganization. The filing
came five days after Dynegy walked away from a $8.4 billion
buyout. It was the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history. 

2010 NASA announced the discovery of a new arsenic-based life
form. 

2018  smiled.


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Humor Letter not in mail 




Good Morning, !

Thank you, Moe!!!

Today is Saturday, December 1

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Florida Woman Arrested After Gas Attack
At Dollar General

______________________________________________________
Today, December 1 in
1913 Ford Motor Co. began using a new movable assembly line that
ushered in the era of mass production. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Much of the social history of the Western world over the past three decades has involved replacing what worked with what sounded good. --- Thomas Sowell (1930 - ) The secret of being a bore is to tell everything. --- Voltaire, 1737 There is no kind of dishonesty into which otherwise good people more easily and frequently fall than that of defrauding the government. --- Benjamin Franklin ______________________________________________________ One morning a California highway department crew reaches their job-site and realizes they have forgotten all their shovels. The crew's foreman radios the office and tells his supervisor the situation. The supervisor radios back and says, "Don't worry, we'll send some shovels. just lean on each other until the shovels arrive." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man went on a ski trip and was knocked unconscious by the chair lift. He called his insurance company from the hospital, but it refused to cover his injury. "Why is the injury not covered?" he asked. "You got hit in the head by a chair lift," the insurance rep said. "That makes you an idiot and we consider that a pre-existing condition." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Shella for this: A butcher fresh out of trade school in Canada gets a job skinning and cutting up the kills of local hunters. His first assignment is a moose. He cuts the moose up and puts the parts into carefully-marked bags: chops, steak, ribs, sirloin, etc, etc. When he finishes, he still has a pile of unidentifiable parts. He shrugs and puts them all into one large bag, which he marks "Moosellaneous." ______________________________________________________ >From Linda Eagle Tree _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Shanetta Wilson, 37 Dania Beach, Florida Florida Woman Arrested After Gas Attack At Dollar General A knife-wielding woman threatened to gut a fellow Dollar General shopper after the victim complained in reference to the defendant farting loudly while in the checkout line, Florida police charge. Shanetta Wilson, 37, got into an argument Sunday evening after a male customer commented negatively about her passing gas, according to investigators who responded to the store in Dania Beach, a city just south of Ft. Lauderdale. As alleged in a complant affidavit, Wilson removed a small knife from her purse, opened the weapon, and told the victim she was going to 'gut' him. When Wilson pulled her hand back as if preparing to attack, victim John Walker, 55, was in fear that he was going to be stabbed by the defendant. Wilson, who lives in Dania Beach, was subsequently arrested on a felony charge of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill. She was booked into the Broward County jail, where she is being held in lieu of $2500 bond. Pictured above, Wilson has a lengthy rap sheet that includes convictions for battery; theft; marijuana possession; violating probation; and possession of cocaine with intent to sell. (2 pages)
From: Frank Re: Missing Humor Letter Dear Webby, Dear Webby, Was there a humor letter for today Friday Noiv 30 ? *1@shaw.ca Frank Dear Frank yes, sure. It went out as usual. When the sniveling ninnies censor your subscription, you can always read it on-line at http://webby.com/humor Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "He's A basketball coach?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I was working at the grocery-store checkout counter, and a woman and her son came through the line. The son unloaded the cart. Two eggs in a carton had been cracked, and half a loaf of bread had been mysteriously crushed. His mother chided him, remarking that she would have to make French toast with the injured items. He looked properly repentant until his mother walked off. Then he whispered to me, "A friend told me to try the broken egg/squashed bread routine. That's how he gets his mom to make French toast for him!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Storing Christmas Lights It is hard to get Christmas lights back in the original packaging. A quicker method is to reuse wrapping paper tubes. Attach the lights to one of the paper tubes and then wrap it around. Tape both ends and store in a large box with padding. 8 Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Hours of beautiful scenes and relaxing music.
___________________________________________________ The mother was having a hard time getting her son to go to school in the morning. "Nobody in school likes me," he complained. "The teachers don't like me, the kids don't like me, the superintendent wants to transfer me, the bus drivers hate me, the school board wants me to drop out, and the custodians have it in for me. I don't want to go to school." "But you have to go to school," countered his mother. "You are healthy, you have a lot to learn, you have something to offer others, you are a leader. And besides, you are forty-five years old and you are the principal." ___________________________________________________ A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed. When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her. Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies' room. Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out. The three cops were standing there waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A sixth grade class is doing some spelling drills. The teacher asks Tommy if he can spell 'before.' He stands up and says, "Before, B-E-P-H-O-R." The teacher says, "No, that's wrong. Can anyone else spell before?" Another little boy stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-O-R." Again the teacher says, "No, that's wrong." The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, can you spell 'before'?" Little Johnny stands up and says, "Before, B-E-F-O-R-E." "Excellent Johnny, now can you use it in a sentence?" Little Johnny says, "That's easy. Two plus two be fore."

Today December 1 in
1835 Hans Christian Andersen published his first book of fairy
tales. 

1913 Ford Motor Co. began using a new movable assembly line that
ushered in the era of mass production. 

1913 The first drive-in automobile service station opened, in
Pittsburgh, PA. 

1919 Lady Astor was sworn in as the first female member of the
British Parliament. 

1925 The Locarno Pact finalized the treaties between World War I
protagonists and guaranteed that WWII would start in a decade. 

1934 Sergei M. Kirov, a collaborator of Joseph Stalin, was
assassinated at the Leningrad party headquarters. 

1941 In the U.S., the Civil Air Patrol was created. In April 1943
the Civil Air Patrol was placed under the jurisdiction of the
Army Air Forces. 

1942 In the U.S., nationwide gasoline rationing went into effect.


1943 In Teheran, leaders of the United States, the USSR and the
United Kingdom met to reaffirm the goal set on October 30, 1943.
The previous meeting called for an early establishment of an
international organization to maintain peace and security. 

1952 In Denmark, it was announced that the first successful sex-
change operation had been performed. 

1955 Rosa Parks, a black seamstress in Montgomery, AL, refused to
give up her seat to a white man. Mrs. Parks was arrested marking
a milestone in the civil rights movement in the U.S. 

1959 12 countries, including the U.S. and USSR, signed a treaty
that set aside Antarctica as a scientific preserve, which would
be free from military activity. 

1965 An airlift of refugees from Cuba to the United States began.


1969 The U.S. government held its first draft lottery since World
War II. 

1984 A remote-controlled Boeing 720 jetliner was deliberately
crashed into California's Mojave Desert to test an anti-flame
fuel additive. The test proved to be disappointing. 

1987 Construction began on the Channel Tunnel between the United
Kingdom and France. 

1987 NASA announced four companies had been given contracts to
help build a space station. The companies were Boeing Aerospace,
G. E.'s Astro-Space Division, McDonnell Douglas Aeronautics, and
Rocketdyne Division of Rockwell International. 

1989 Dissidents in the Philippine military launched an
unsuccessful coup against Corazon Aquino's government. 

1989 East Germany's Parliament abolished the Communist Party's
constitutional guarantee of supremacy. 

1990 Iraq accepted a U.S. offer to talk about resolving the
Persian Gulf crisis. 

1990 British and French workers digging the Channel Tunnel
finally met under the English Channel. 

1991 Ukrainians voted overwhelmingly for independence from the
Soviet Union. 

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin survived an impeachment
attempt by hard-liners at the opening of the Russian Congress. 

1994 The U.S. Senate gave final congressional approval to the
124-nation General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade. 

1998 Exxon announced that it was buying Mobil for $73.7 billion
creating the largest company in the world to date. 

2013 Amazon.com CEO Jeff Bezos revealed "Amazon Prime Air" on "60
Minutes." The services was planned to use unmanned aerial
vehicles to deliver packages to customers. 

2018  smiled.


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How to recognize a scam 




Good Morning, !

Thank you, Moe!!!

Today is Friday, November 30
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Florida Woman Battered Man Over Rejection

______________________________________________________
Today, November 30 in
1939 The Russo-Finnish War began when 20 divisions of Soviet
troops invaded Finland. Finland asked Germany for help. At the
end of WWII, after the Germans had lost hundreds of thousands of
troops and untold supplies, Finland changed sides to be on the
winning side of WWII when it ended. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public. --- Edgar Watson Howe (1853 - 1937) The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling. --- Paula Poundstone ______________________________________________________ In my job with a delivery company, I was getting phone directions to a customer's home. The woman very specifically said, "From the main road in the center of town go two lights. Look for the post office. Turn left onto the next street. Go 1.3 miles. Drive past one red hydrant and then take the next right. Go 50 yards. My driveway is the second on the right, and the number is on the mailbox." As I entered the information into the computer, I asked, "What color is your house?" The woman paused a second and said, "Hold on. I'll go check." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Not quite grasping the sanctity of "Monday Night Football," I plunked myself next to my new husband one Monday night to chat. He was distracted by the action on TV, and after being shushed a few times, I gave him a "look." Immediately contrite, he picked up the remote. "I'm sorry, honey," he apologized, "I'm being rude. You go ahead and talk--I'll just turn up the volume." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order. As the harried-looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor. "They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rebecca Lynn Phelps, 31 Tampa Florida Florida Woman Battered Man Over Rejection A Florida Woman battered her boyfriend after he “said no and went back to bed” after she “grabbed his genitals wanting to have sex” on Thanksgiving night, cops say. Rebecca Lynn Phelps, 31, was arrested for domestic battery following a confrontation in the Tampa-area home she shares with the victim and the couple’s child. Phelps’s arrest was the second time in 14 months that she was busted for allegedly battering a man who did not want to have sex with her, records show. Investigators allege that the victim, 25, was sleeping late Thursday night when Phelps entered their bedroom seeking to have sex. After Phelps groped her partner’s private parts, the “victim said no and went back to sleep,” according to a criminal complaint. Phelps subsequently returned to the bedroom and started “tapping” the man’s leg. “The victim pretended to be asleep to ignore the defendant who was intoxicated,” cops noted. Phelps then allegedly “scratched the victim on his left eye causing it to swell and turn black and blue.” Phelps, who told cops she did not touch the victim, was arrested on a misdemeanor domestic battery charge. She was released yesterday morning from the county jail after posting $100 bond. A judge has ordered Phelps to have no contact with the victim. In September 2017, Phelps was arrested after allegedly getting mad at a man “because he did not want to have sexual relations with her.” Phelps screamed at the victim and smacked him “so hard on the right side of his face it left redness on his face.” She also allegedly scratched the man’s arm, causing it to bleed. Prosecutors subsequently declined to pursue the case against Phelps. It is unclear whether the victim in the 2017 matter is the same man in the current
From: Louis Re: How to recognize a scam Dear Webby, How do you recognize if something is a silly scam or if it is real ? Louis Dear Louis If there is a line that says: "Pass this on to all your friends." then it is a silly scam. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Astrological "Afterwards" Comments Aries: "Okay, let's do it again!" Taurus: "I'm hungry -- do you want some pizza?" Gemini: "Have you seen the remote?" Cancer: "When are we getting married?" Leo: "Wasn't I fantastic?" Virgo: "I need to wash the sheets." Libra: "I liked it if you liked it." Scorpio: "Perhaps I should untie you." Sagittarius: "Don't call me -- I'll call you." Capricorn: "Do you have a business card?" Aquarius: "Now let's try it with our clothes off!" Pisces: "What did you say your name was again?" Btw., I am a Taurus
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
At the Checkout counter of the discount department store where I was a cashier, customers frequently asked me under what circumstances items were returnable. One woman who came through my line must have been aware of store policy. She pointed to the lacy red-and-black negligee she was about to purchase. "May I bring this back if it doesn't work?" she asked. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Apply for Financial Aid Early Apply for financial aid as early as possible. The amount of aid you get is based on your need level, fund availability, and the date your application process is completed. File your financial aid application as soon as you file your taxes. 8 Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Carnival celebrations from around the world!
___________________________________________________ A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, "Honey, are you ready yet?" Shouting back, the woman replies, "For crying out loud, Ed, I've been telling you for the last half hour...I'll be ready in a minute!" ___________________________________________________ A Priest at a Church picnic was staring at a member of his parish wearing the tiniest of bikinis. A Nun walked over and said, "Shame on you Father, staring at that woman like that!" The Priest replied, "Sister Mary Elizabeth, I know you to be on a diet, and yet I saw you ogling the buffet." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Lisa While on maternity leave, a woman from our office brought in her new bundle of joy. She also had her seven-year-old son with her. Everyone gathered around the baby, and the little boy asked, "Mommy, can I have some money to buy a soda?" "What do you say?" she asked. Respectfully, the boy replied, "You're thin and beautiful." The woman reached in her purse and gave her son the money.

Today November 30 in
1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an army
of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva. King Charles
XII died on this day. 

1782 The United States and Britain signed preliminary peace
articles in Paris, ending the Revolutionary War. 

1803 Spain completed the process of ceding Louisiana to France. 

1838 Three days after the French occupation of Vera Cruz Mexico
declared war on France. 

1853 During the Crimean War, the Russian fleet attacked and
destroyed the Turkish fleet at the battle of Sinope. 

1858 John Landis Mason received a patent for the first pepper
shaker with a screw-on cap. 

1875 A.J. Ehrichson patented the oat-crushing machine. 

1897 Thomas Edison's own motion picture projector had its first
commercial exhibition. 

1906 George Parker Bidder, President of the Marine Biological
Association (UK) released a glass bottle with a message into the
North Sea. The bottle spent 108 years and 38 days at sea before
it was found on the shores of Germany in 2015. 

1936 London's famed Crystal Palace was destroyed in a fire. The
structure had been constructed for the International Exhibition
of 1851. 

1939 The Russo-Finnish War began when 20 divisions of Soviet
troops invaded Finland. Finland asked Germany for help. At the
end of WWII, after the Germans had lost hundreds of thousands of
troops and untold supplies, Finland changed sides to be on the
winning side of WWII. 

1949 Chinese Communists captured Chungking. 

1954 In Sylacauga, AL, Elizabeth Hodges was injured when a
meteorite crashed through the roof of her house. The rock weighed
8½-pounds. 

1956 CBS replayed the program "Douglas Edward and the News" three
hours after it was received on the West Coast. It was the world's
first broadcast via videotape. 

1962 U Thant of Burma was elected secretary-general of the United
Nations, succeeding the late Dag Hammarskjold. 

1966 The former British colony of Barbados became independent. 

1981 The U.S. and the Soviet Union opened negotiations in Geneva
that were aimed at reducing nuclear weapons in Europe. 

1986 "Time" magazine published an interview with U.S. President
Reagan. In the article, Reagan described fired national security
staffer Oliver North as a "national hero." 

1988 Kohlberg Kravis Roberts and Co. took over RJR Nabisco Inc.
with a bid of $24.53 billion. 

1989 PLO leader Yasser Arafat was refused a visa to enter the
United States in order to address the U.N. General Assebly in New
York City. 

1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the Brady Bill. The
bill required a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases and
background checks of prospective buyers. 

1995 President Clinton became the first U.S. chief executive to
visit Northern Ireland. 

1998 The Deutsche Bank AG announced that it would acquire Bankers
Trust Corp. for $10.1 billion creating the world's largest
financial institution. 

2001 For the first time in it's history, McDonald's teamed up
with a retail partner on its Happy Meal promotions. Toys R Us
provided plush figures from it's Animal Alley. 

2004 In Stockholm, Sweden, the Carl Larsson painting "Boenskoerd"
("Bean Harvest") was sold at auction for $730,000. The work had
been in a private collection for more than a century. The Larsson
work "Vid Kattegatt" ("By Kattegatt") sold for $640,000 at the
same auction. 

2018  smiled.


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Back-Up destination 




Good Morning, !

Today is Thursday, November 29

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Florida gamer left microphone on 
during sex assault

______________________________________________________
Today, November 29 in
1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S. with
Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth twice before
landing off Puerto Rico. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores. --- Terry Pratchett Every person takes the limits of their own field of vision for the limits of the world. --- Arthur Schopenhauer And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan." --- George Burns ______________________________________________________ A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he got out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?" The kangaroo said, "About a hundred and fifty feet, unless somebody starts locking the gate at night." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars. The store owner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale." The collector says, "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." And the owner says, "Sold," and hands over the cat. The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish." And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week, I've sold sixty-eight stray cats." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ My client Anita and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant. When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Anita made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair. "As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils." The waiter inspected her chopsticks. "Velly bootiful," he said politely. "Ivoly flom lasst highland ellefant!" ______________________________________________________ The bait works! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Daniel Enrique Fabian, 18, New Port Richey Florida Florida gamer left microphone on during sex assault Another PlayStation gamer overheard the attack. A Florida teen took a break from his game of Grand Theft Auto to rape an underage girl, police say. Daniel Enrique Fabian, 18, allegedly told another player on an online multiplayer network that he was leaving the game for a few minutes to "smash" the 15- year-old girl, the Miami Herald reports. The other player told police that Fabian left his microphone on and he overheard the entire attack, with the distressed girl yelling "No." It's not clear whether the other gamer on the PlayStation network was the one who reported Fabian to police, WFLA reports. The other gamer says Fabian returned to the game after about 15 minutes. Fabian, a New Port Richey resident, was arrested last week and charged with lewd and lascivious battery on a victim between the age of 12 and 15. Police say that during the attack overheard by the other gamers, he covered the girl's mouth and held her down as she repeatedly tried to get away. Police say DNA from the victim linked Fabian to the rape. The Pasco County Sheriff's Office says Fabian, who is being held on $30,000 bond, was arrested in June for allegedly raping another 15-year-old girl at his home.
From: Kenneth Re: Best Back-Up Dear Webby, I know you once wrote about what the best method is to back up your hard drive. Unfortunately at that time I didn't have anything worth backing up and did not pay attention. Sorry 'bout that! I'm sure there are others with the same predicament. Can you please tell us again? Thanks Kenneth Dear Kenneth The fastest, and worst, method is to back up onto a different drive in the same machine. A fire or a burglary will make you wonder why you backed up your important business data. The best method is to back up to somewhere else. I back up onto the web. You can even back up onto DropBox. Second best is to back up onto a portable USB drive. You can get 2 TB portable drives now about the size of a package of cigarettes. They easily fit into a pocket or purse. You can also get cases for them and just stuff a drive into them yourself. You can also encrypt the data on the back-up drive. With that method you simply take that portable drive with you and throw it into the glove box of your car or keep it in a pocket or purse. No matter what happens to the office or the computer, your business is still safe and ready to be restored onto a replacement machine. CD's work too, but that is a relatively slow and cumbersome method and therefore usually does not get done. You have to chose a strategy that is simple enough and easy enough. Only then will it get done regularly and become a good habit. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Ann for this one: I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
As in many homes my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was more important - the football games on television, or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the game. Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even bought a cold beer for me with her. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and asked what the score was. I told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing. "See?" she said, continuing to smile, "You didn't miss a thing." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Late Buying Christmas and Other Gifts After Christmas is also a good time to buy gifts. Any item such as gift sets or baking equipment can be gifted the following year or during the year as birthday presents. Just remember that just because it doesn't cost much doesn't mean it's a good deal. Some of the things leftover are leftover because they weren't salable at regular price so pick carefully. 8 Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
This young boy is so talented, way above other people his age!
___________________________________________________ German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nation-wide telephone network. Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fiber network. Irish scientists were outraged. They dug 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Irish 55,000 years ago obviously must have used cellphones. ___________________________________________________ A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of Christmas shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm . . . that's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills." The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Al for this: The other night, my wife and I were going out. She sat there and put on eyebrow pencil, eye shadow, eyeliner, eyelashes, mascara, toner, blush and lipstick, then turned to me and said, "Does this look natural?"

Today November 29 in
1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a militia
led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 400 peaceful
Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had surrendered and had been
given permission to camp after giving up their weapons. 

1890 Navy defeated Army by a score of 24-0 in the first Army-Navy
football game. The game was played at West Point, NY. 

1892 A patent was issued to Almon Brown Strowger for the rotary
dial. 

1929 The first airplane flight over the South Pole was made by
U.S. Navy Lt. Comdr. Richard E. Byrd. 

1939 The USSR broke off diplomatic relations with Finland prior
to a Soviet attack. 

1945 The monarchy was abolished in Yugoslavia and a republic
proclaimed. 

1947 The U.N. General Assembly passed a resolution that called
for the division of Palestine between Arabs and Jews. 

1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S. with
Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth twice before
landing off Puerto Rico. 

1963 A Trans-Canada Airlines DC-8F with 111 passengers and 7 crew
members crashed in woods north of Montreal 4 minutes after
takeoff from Dorval Airport. All aboard were killed. The crash
was the worst in Canada's history. 

1974 In Britain, a bill that outlawed the Irish Republican Army
became effective. 

1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company he and
Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer language for
the Altair. 

1982 The U.N. General Assembly voted that the Soviet Union should
withdraw its troops from Afghanistan. 

1987 A Korean jetliner disappeared off Burma, with 115 people
aboard. 

1987 Cuban detainees released 26 hostages they'd been holding for
more than a week at the Federal Detention Center in Oakdale, LA. 

1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the rights of criminal
defendants are not violated when police unintentionally fail to
preserve potentially vital evidence. 

1989 In Czechoslovakia, the Communist-run parliament ended the
party's 40-year monopoly on power. 

1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to authorize military action
if Iraq did not withdraw its troops from Kuwait and release all
foreign hostages by January 15, 1991. 

1991 17 people were killed in a 164-vehicle wreck during a dust
storm near Coalinga, CA, on Interstate 5. 

1994 Fighter jets attacked the capital of Chechnya and its
airport only hours after Russian President Boris Yeltsin demanded
the breakaway republic end its civil war. 

1996 A U.N. court sentenced Bosnian Serb army soldier Drazen
Erdemovic to 10 years in prison for his role in the massacre of
1,200 Muslims. The sentence was the first international war
crimes sentence since World War II. 

1998 Swiss voters overwhelmingly rejected legalizing heroin and
other narcotics. 

2004 The French government announced plans to build the Louvre II
in northern France. The 236,808 square foot museum was the
planned home for 500-600 works from the Louvre's reserves. 

2008 In China, construction on the Shanghai Tower began. 

2018  smiled.


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Push Mail 




Good Morning, !

Today is Wednesday, November 28

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Florida man stabs woman over 
undercooked potato

______________________________________________________
Today, November 28 in
1963 U.S. President Johnson announced that Cape Canaveral would
be renamed Cape Kennedy in honor of his assassinated predecessor.
The name was changed back to Cape Canaveral in 1973 by a vote of
residents. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway. --- Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915) ______________________________________________________ Late one night in the capitol city a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this - I'm a US Congressman!" "In that case," replied the robber, "give me MY money!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sue for this story: After being laid off, I papered the town with my resume. Days passed, and I hadn't received a single phone call. I decided to take a closer look at the copies my husband had printed at his real estate office. I quickly realized that he hadn't put blank paper into the machine. At the bottom of each copy, written in bold type, was a common real estate disclaimer: "The information contained herein, while deemed to be accurate, is not guaranteed." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The following ads appeared in a newspaper over a period of four days, the last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake. MONDAY: For sale: R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 555-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap. TUESDAY Notice: We regret having erred In R.D. Jones' ad yesterday. It should have read, "One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 555- 0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly, who lives with him after 7 P.M." WEDNESDAY Notice: R.D. Jones has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: "For sale - - R.D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 555-0707 after 7 P.M. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who loves with him." THURSDAY Notice: I, R.D. Jones, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 555-0707 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper, but she quit. ______________________________________________________ Awww, Shut Up!! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kenneth Crumpton, 36, Yulee, Florida Florida man stabs woman over undercooked potato Facebook A Yulee man was jailed in Nassau County after he reportedly stabbed a woman over an undercooked potato, deputies said. Kenneth Crumpton, 36, is charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon after he reportedly used a fork to stab a woman in the head, a Nassau County Sheriff's Office report said. The victim told a witness that she was stabbed in the head with a fork. Crumpton denied stabbing the victim and said that he threw the fork and it "glanced off her head," the arrest report said, The victim had multiple stab wounds and visible blood on her head, deputies said. She refused treatment, the report said.
From:Karl Re: PUSH Mail Dear Webby what exactly is "Push Mail"? I got one of those smart phones and one of the reviews said it was a "Push Mailer's dream". Hope you get those votes and Happy New Year! Karl Dear Karl Traditional mail is "Pull". It patiently waits on the server, until you pull it down into your computer. Push mail is like cell phone calls, it is pushed at you at your most inconvenient time, for example when you are in the shower, or talking to somebody. I'll pass on that. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
The District Judge in our county is a no-nonsense woman who has never left any doubt as to her professionalism. What those of us who work in the court didn't know was whether she had a sense of humor. The matter was put to rest the morning an older woman was testifying before the judge. Several times during the proceedings the woman addressed the judge as "Honey." Finally the judge looked the woman in the eye and said, "That's Judge Honey."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"Did your wife have much to say when you got home last night?" "No, but that didn't keep her from yelling for two hours." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Buy Christmas Items Right after Christmas is a great time to buy Christmas decorations, wrapping paper and cards at clearance prices. Only buy items you know you will use and put them in a clearly marked box. Candy and chocolate is also on sale, you can freeze for baking. 8 Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
536 Was a Garbage Year for Mankind (So Give 2018 a Break)
___________________________________________________ Q: How do I make my wife stop buying all these expensive gloves? A: Buy her a diamond ring. ___________________________________________________ People made the following calls this year to the British RSPCA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals): · A woman claiming that the "Beast of Bodmin Moor" was outside her door and laying siege to her house. The "beast" turned out to be her new telephone books in a black plastic bag. · A person who reported a black swan trapped on a building roof that ended up being a black plastic bag flapping in the wind. · A person who called to report an injured magpie on their driveway which ended up being a black and white Nike sneaker. · The many people calling to report birds trapped within their walls and fireplaces that turn out to be the "chirping" of their smoke alarms warning of low batteries. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on College Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing." Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Plowing has been completed. The six hundred and twentseven students who went to move 26 cars can return to class now."

Today November 28 in
1520 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific
Ocean after passing through the South American strait. The strait
was named after him. He was the first European to sail the
Pacific from the east. 

1582 William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway were married. 

1757 English poet, painter and engraver William Blake was born.
Two of his best known works are "Songs of Innocence" and "Songs
of Experience." 

1919 American-born Lady Astor was elected the first female member
of the British Parliament. 

1922 Capt. Cyril Turner of the Royal Air Force gave the first
public exhibition of skywriting. He spelled out, "Hello USA. Call
Vanderbilt 7200" over New York's Times Square. 

1925 The Grand Ole Opry made its radio debut on station WSM. 

1942 In Boston, MA, 491 people died in a fire that destroyed the
Coconut Grove. 

1943 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt, British Prime Minister
Winston Churchill and Soviet Leader Joseph Stalin met in Tehran
to map out strategy concerning World War II. 

1953 New York City began 11 days without newspapers due to a
strike of photoengravers. 

1958 The African nation of Chad became an autonomous republic
within the French community. 

1963 U.S. President Johnson announced that Cape Canaveral would
be renamed Cape Kennedy in honor of his assassinated predecessor.
The name was changed back to Cape Canaveral in 1973 by a vote of
residents. 

1964 The U.S. launched the space probe Mariner IV from Cape
Canaveral on a course set for Mars. 

1978 The Iranian government banned religious marches. 

1979 An Air New Zealand DC-10 flying to the South Pole crashed in
Antarctica killing all 257 people aboard. 

1983 The space shuttle Columbia took off with the STS-9 Spacelab
in its cargo bay. 

1985 The Irish Senate approved the Anglo-Irish accord concerning
Northern Ireland. 

1987 A South African Airways Boeing 747 crashed into the Indian
Ocean. All 159 people aboard were killed. 

1989 Romanian gymnast Nadia Comaneci arrived in New York after
escaping her homeland through Hungary. 

1990 Margaret Thatcher resigned as prime minister of Britain. 

1992 In Bosnia-Herzegovina, 137 tons of food and supplies were to
be delivered to the isolated town of Srebrenica. 

1992 In King William's Town, South Africa, black militant gunmen
attacked a country club killing four people and injuring 20. 

1994 Jeffrey Dahmer, a convicted serial killer, was clubbed to
death in a Wisconsin prison by a fellow inmate. 

1994 Norwegian voters rejected European Union membership. 

1995 U.S. President Clinton signed a $6 billion road bill that
ended the federal 55 mph speed limit. 

2010 WikiLeaks released to the public more than 250,000 U.S.
diplomatic cables. About 100,000 were marked "secret" or
"confidential." 

2018  smiled.


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SBC- Global mail downtime 




Good Morning, !

Today is Tuesday, November 27

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Principal accused of raping 
12-year-old student found dead

______________________________________________________
Today, November 27 in
1701 Anders Celsius was born in Sweden. He was the inventor 
of the Celsius (Metric) thermometer. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.' --- Theodore Roosevelt Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses. --- Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885) There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. --- Doctor Who ______________________________________________________ Judi had just returned to the United States from a month-long trip to Europe. She'd been to England, France, Spain, Italy, Germany, and Switzerland. John met her at the airline gate, hugged her, and asked, "So, how was your trip?" "Oh, it was terrible," she replied, "the whole place is just full of foreigners." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ FOOTBALL PLAYERS at the high school where I worked were stealing the practice jerseys, so the coach ordered a set with "Property of Central High School" emblazoned on them. When the thefts continued, he ordered a new batch that had the imprint "Stolen from Central High School." But the jerseys still kept disappearing. The larceny finally stopped after he changed the wording to "Central High School 4th String." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son had an announcement to make: He'd just signed up at an army recruiter's office. There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. "Oh, come on, quit pulling our legs," snickered one. "You didn't really do that, did you?" "I'm positive you'd never get through basic training," scoffed another. The new recruit looked to his mother for help; but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, it was to voice a single question. "Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Richard Omar Knight, 35, Mebane, Orange County, North Carolina Principal accused of raping 12-year-old student found dead A North Carolina charter school principal accused of raping a 12- year-old student on campus was found dead of an apparent self- inflicted injury, The News & Observer reported, citing a police report. Authorities in Orange County found Richard Omar Knight, 35, in a wooded area near Mebane on Friday, WRAL reported. Two hunters found his body and called 911, the Orange County Sheriff's Office said in a news release. Police said no foul play was suspected, the television station reported. Knight, 35, was the principal at Dillard Academy until he was charged Friday with raping a 12-year-old student on campus. Goldsboro police announced Knight's death Monday afternoon, but said the investigation into his alleged crimes would continue, WRAL reported. Goldsboro police learned of the student's allegations Thursday and obtained a warrant Friday, charging Knight with statutory rape, a sex act and indecent liberties with a female at Dillard Academy Charter School, The News & Observer reported. Knight, of Smithfield, was principal of the charter school.
From:Jerry Re: SBCglobal downtime Dear Webby Just a curiosity question. Denise has SBCglobal.net email and it had been down the last few Christmases. I was guessing overload due to so many Holiday e-cards being delivered/read, etc. Her email is back up right now (her work address never went down). Just wondering if my guess could have been correct, or if it might have been some other problem. Thanks Jerry Dear Jerry SBCglobal is part of Yahoo. Their UNreliability is quite predictable. Yes, of course their mail went down every Christmas, and Valentines and Mothers Day. If she wants reliable email, she should get a gmail address. Gmail is free, and has become the most popular email system in the world. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
The census taker knocked on Donna's door. She answered all his questions except one. She refused to tell him her age. "But everyone tells their age to the census taker," he said. "Did Miss Maisy Hill, and Miss Daisy Hill tell you their ages?" she asked. "Certainly," he replied "Well, I'm the same age as they are," she snapped. "As old as the Hills," he intoned as he wrote on his form.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A woman's husband dies and she has only $20,000 to her name. After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that she has no money left. The friend says, "How can that be? You told me you still had $20,000 left just a few days before your husband died. How could you be broke?" The widow says, "Well, the funeral home cost me $5,000. And of course, I had to make the obligatory donation to the temple, so that was another $5,000. The rest went for the memorial stone." The friend says, "$10,000 for the memorial stone? My goodness, how big was it?" Extending her left hand, the widow says, "Three carats." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Returning Items If you plan on returning an item that you received as a gift but don't have a receipt, you will want to do it within a week or so of Christmas. Most stores are much more relaxed about returns immediately after Christmas. 8 Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The best of People are Awesome! I can tell these people don't spend their time on social media.
___________________________________________________ A Congressman is awakened in the middle of the night by his wife who whispers, "I think there's a thief in the house." "Not in the House," her husband says. "In the Senate, for sure, my dear, but not in the House." ___________________________________________________ Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "There's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium." "Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?" "Absolutely not," he said. "How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not." "Season's more than half over," he said. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A family had moved to Seattle from Texas, and each of them missed their old home. That December, when they went to pick up their first-grade son from school, his teacher told them about a conversation she overheard. One boy said, "We're Catholic, and we are going to Christmas Mass." "Were Jewish," said another child. "And we're going to have a Hanukkah celebration." Madison chimed in, "We're Texans, and were going to have a barbecue."

Today November 27 in
1701 Anders Celsius was born in Sweden. He was the inventor of
the Celsius (Metric) thermometer. 

1779 The College of Pennsylvania became the University of
Pennsylvania. It was the first legally recognized university in
America. 

1889 Curtis P. Brady was issued the first permit to drive an
automobile through Central Park in New York City. 

1901 The Army War College was established in Washington, DC. 

1910 New York's Pennsylvania Station opened. 

1934 The U.S. bank robber George "Baby Face" Nelson was killed by
FBI agents near Barrington, IL. 

1963 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson delivered his first address
to a joint session of Congress. 

1970 Pope Paul VI, visiting the Philippines, was attacked at the
Manila airport by a Bolivian painter disguised as a priest. 

1973 The U.S. Senate voted to confirm Gerald R. Ford as vice
president after the resignation of Spiro T. Agnew. 

1978 San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and City Supervisor
Harvey Milk, a gay-rights activist, were shot to death inside
City Hall by Dan White, a former supervisor. 

1983 183 people were killed when a Colombian Avianca Airlines
Boeing 747 crashed near Barajas airport in Madrid. 

1985 The British House of Commons approved the Anglo-Irish accord
giving Dublin a consulting role in the governing of British-ruled
Northern Ireland. 

1987 French hostages Jean-Louis Normandin and Roger Auque were
set free by their pro-Iranian captors in West Beirut, Lebanon. 

1989 107 people were killed when a bomb destroyed a Colombian
jetliner minutes after the plane had taken off from Bogota's
international airport. Police blamed the incident on drug
traffickers. 

1991 The UN Security Council unanimously adopted a resolution
that led the way for the establishment of a UN peacekeeping
operation in Yugoslavia. 

1992 In Venezuela, rebel forces tried but failed to overthrow
President Carlos Andres Perez for the second time in ten months. 

2008 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) was taken out of
service after more than 30 years. The ship was launched on
September 20, 1967. 

2018  smiled.


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Directdbnotifywndproc 




Good Morning, !

Today is Monday, November 26

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Floriduh girl, 2, ‘screamed and cried while 
being raped by dad for dark web video’ 

______________________________________________________
Today, November 26 in
1950 China entered the Korean conflict forcing UN forces 
to retreat. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to believe. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) Political correctness is the coward's substitute for integrity. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they promised they would take care of it, mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility. One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?" After a moment, her five-year-old son replied quizzically, "Uh, once?" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for this story: Our family owned restaurant is the setting for many of our discussions about how to handle the customer who asks, "What's good tonight?" Obviously, we would never serve anything we didn't think was good. I braced myself one Saturday night when I heard the dreaded question posed to my husband. He calmly replied, "Anything over $13.95." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A member of the Senate, known for his hot temper and acid tongue, explodes one day in mid session and begins to shout, "Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!" All the other Senators plead to the angry member that he withdraw his statement, or be removed from the remainder of the session. After a long pause, the angry member accepted and said, "Okay, I withdraw what I said. Half of this Senate is NOT made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by James Lockhart, 30, Manatee County, Floriduh Floriduh girl, 2, ‘screamed and cried while being raped by dad for dark web video’ A two year-old girl ‘screamed and cried’ while being raped by her father in an eight minute video he uploaded to the dark web, police say. Horrifying details of the abuse the toddler allegedly suffered at the hands of her father James Lockhart were outlined as it was revealed he faces the death penalty if convicted of the abuse. A criminal complaint seen by WFLA explained: ‘The video documents the rape. ‘The toddler continues to scream and cry.’ According to the Miami Herald, Lockhart, 30, also made posts on securely encrypted web pages detailing his sexual experiences with a young girl and boy, while asking for suggestions of things he could do and promising future updates. Homeland Security officers traced Lockhart to his home through instant messaging service Kik on October 5. They showed the alleged pedophile’s wife clips with the little girl’s face blurred out. She is said to have instantly recognized her daughter, her husband’s hand, their couch and the girl’s stuffed animal toy, an indictment claims. Further analysis proved that the hand in the video matched Lockhart’s, with handwriting analysis further showing that the father’s script matched a handwritten sign seen on-screen. The girl alleged to have been abused and her twin brother were taken into custody on the day of their father’s arrest. An indictment seen by the Herald explained that Lockhart was initially investigated by Boston-based agents trying to track down the people behind child abuse clips. The suspect is said to have made other postings under the name HardWood. Manatee County Sheriff’s Office say Lockhart is facing numerous charges, including capital sexual battery – meaning he could be put to death if convicted.
From:Nita Re: Directdbnotifywndproc Dear Webby Everytime I go on line my computer is busy with the following "Directdbnotifywndproc". This runs for over an hour. Do you know what this is & how to remove it? Computer is a new Dell with XP Home. Thank you kindly, Happy New Year, Nita Dear Nita That problem is normal with computers that have Outlook Depressed and Computer Associates spyware loaded. >From what I read, that problem goes away when the user outgrows either of those two programs. Until you do, keep your mail backed up far away from Outlook Depressed. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
After the Great Britain Beer Festival in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sat down at the bar and said to the bartender, "Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusted off a bottle from the shelf and gave it to him. The head of Budweiser said, "I'd like the best beer in the world. Give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gave him one. The Coors chief said, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." The bartender got it. The Guinness man sat down and said, "Give me a Coke." The bartender was a little taken aback, but gave it to him. The other brewery presidents looked at him and asked, "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" The Guinness president replied, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The right side of a boat was called the starboard side due to the fact that the astro-navigators used to stand out on a plank (which was on the right side) to get an unobstructed view of the stars. The left side was called the port side, because that was the side that they put toward the dock when they pulled into port. This was so they didn't knock off the starboard. Actually, it goes back a lot further than that. In the days before personal firearms, ships had a stair going upstairs to where the captain and the officers were. That stair was always on the right side. Access to the stair was through a tunnel from the port side, forcing any pirates or enemies to attack in single file before getting to the stair. Later, when they got canons, those were always on the port side, never on the stair side. The powder was usually stored downstairs on the stair side, because a shot into the powder magazine usually sunk the ship. Good old days! ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Buying Big Ticket Items The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed. "I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.'" "Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!" "I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It looks great from back here, too!" 8 Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Astronomy Picture of the Day
___________________________________________________ A protestor said to his girlfriend, "I'm on my way to pick up my unemployment check. Then I've got to go to the university to see what's holding up this month's Federal Education Grant. Meanwhile you can go over to the Free Clinic and check up on your tests. And right after I stop by the Welfare Department to see if they will up our eligibility limit again I'll meet you at the Federal Building for the demonstration against this rotten, oppressive Republican establishment....!" ___________________________________________________ A lecturer teaching medicine was tutoring a class on 'Observation'. He took out a jar of yellow-colored liquid. "This", he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant to color, smell, sight, and taste." After saying this, he dipped a finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched on in amazement, most, in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped one finger into the jar and then put it into their mouth. After the last student was done, the lecturer shook his head. "If any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my 2nd finger in to the jar and my 3rd finger into my mouth." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
At the airport for a trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate B35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system saying, "We apologize for the inconvenience, but Delta Flight 570 will board from Gate E41." So my family picked up our luggage and carried it over to Gate E41. Not ten minutes later the public address voice told us that Flight 570 would in fact be boarding from Gate B35. So again we gathered our carry-on luggage and returned to the original gate. Just as we were settling down, the public address voice spoke again: "Thank you for participating in Delta's physical fitness program."

Today November 26 in
1716 The first lion to be exhibited in America went on display in
Boston, MA. 

1789 U.S. President Washington set aside this day to observe the
adoption of the Constitution of the United States. 

1832 Public streetcar service began in New York City. 

1867 J.B. Sutherland patented the refrigerated railroad car. 

1917 The National Hockey League (NHL) was officially formed in
Montreal, Canada. 

1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter peered into the tomb of King
Tutankhamen. 

1940 The Nazis forced 500,000 Jews of Warsaw, Poland to live
within a walled ghetto. 

1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered nationwide
gasoline rationing to begin December 1. 

1942 The motion picture "Casablanca" had its world premiere at
the Hollywood Theater in New York City. 

1943 The HMS Rohna became the first ship to be sunk by a guided
missile. The German missile attack led to the death of 1,015 U.S.
troops. 

1950 China entered the Korean conflict forcing UN forces to
retreat. 

1958 Maurice Richard (Montreal Canadiens) scored his 600th NHL
career goal. 

1965 France became the third country to enter space when it
launched its first satellite the Diamant-A. 

1975 Lynette"Squeaky" Fromme was found guilty by a federal jury
in Sacramento, CA, for trying to assassinate U.S. President Ford
on September 5. 

1979 The International Olympic Committee voted to re-admit China
after a 21-year absence. 

1983 A Brinks Mat Ltd. vault at London's Heathrow Airport was
robbed by gunmen. The men made off with 6,800 gold bars worth
nearly $40 million. Only a fraction of the gold has ever been
recovered and only two men were convicted in the heist. 

1985 The rights to Richard Nixon's autobiography were acquired by
Random House for $3,000,000. 

1988 The U.S. denied an entry visa to PLO chairman Yasser Arafat,
who was seeking permission to travel to New York to address the
U.N. General Assembly. 

1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev met with Iraqi Foreign
Minister Tariq Aziz at the Kremlin to demand that Iraq withdraw
from Kuwait. 

1990 Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. agreed to acquire MCA
Inc. for $6.6 billion. 

1992 The British government announced that Queen Elizabeth II had
volunteered to start paying taxes on her personal income. She
also took her children off the public payroll. 

1995 Two men set fire to a subway token booth in the Brooklyn
borough of New York City. The clerk inside was fatally burned. 

1997 The U.S. and North Korea held high-level discussions at the
State Department for the first time. 

1998 Hulk Hogan announced that he was retiring from pro wrestling
and would run for president in 2000. 

2003 The U.N. atomic agency adopted a resolution that censured
Iran for past nuclear cover-ups and warning that it would be
policed to put to rest suspicions that the country had a nuclear
weapons agenda. 

2011 The Mars Science Laboratory/Curiosity spacecraft launched
from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL. The Mars rover
Curiosity landed on the floor of Gale Crater on August 6, 2012. 

2018  smiled.


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Incredimail vs Thunderbird 




Good Morning, !

Today is Sunday, November 25

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
2 arrested for Breaking Into Cal 
Fire Station during "Camp" Fire

______________________________________________________
Today, November 25 in
1783 During the Revolutionary War, the British evacuated 
New York. New York was their last military position in the U.S. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Seek simplicity, and distrust it. --- Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947) ______________________________________________________ We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police. --- Jeff Marder I won't take my religion from any man who never works except with his mouth. --- Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967) ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "Purpose of visit?" asked the customs agent as we approached a checkpoint at the U.S.-Canadian border. "We're going to a wedding," my wife said. "Are you carrying any weapons -- knives, guns?" he asked. "No," she said. "It's not that kind of wedding." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ After a lady's car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large sack of cat litter to soak it up. It worked so well, that she went back to the convenience store to get another bag to finish the job. The clerk remembered her. Looking thoughtfully at her purchase, he said, "Lady, if that were my cat, I'd put him outside!" ______________________________________________________ Minot's Lighthouse, Massachusetts _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Robert DePalma William Erlbacher Concow, California 2 arrested for breaking into Cal fire station during Camp fire Two Concow men are accused of breaking into a Cal Fire station during the Camp Fire. Robert DePalma and William Erlbacher both face five felony counts including looting during an emergency and possession of stolen property. Bail is set at $250,000 each. Looting during an emergency is bad enough, looting at the Fire Station will hopefully get them the death penalty.
From: Larry Re: Thunderbird versus Incredimail Dear Webby I am using Incredimail xe as my email provider. I am wondering if Thunderbird would be a better profider. Can i transfer my email addresses to it. any info would be very helpful. Sincerely. Larry Dear Larry Neither Incredimail nor Thunderbird are email PROVIDERS. They are email programs. You still need an email provider, either your local ISP or Gmail or AOL or any outfit like that. Once you have signed up with an email provider, then you can choose which email program you want to use. If you travel a lot, choose Gmail as your provider. It works from anywhere in the world. Once you have a decent provider, then you can select the email program. You can definitely choose Incredimail, even though you will annoy the recipients with the goofy attachments. Gmail is very popular, and you can set it to be POP mail. Then you can handle it with anything from Eudora to Thunderbird. I still use Eudora. It works reliably. No problem since 1993. If you keep your mail boxes trimmed down, you can even use Outlook. Just don't allow them to get too large, or it will suicide and take all your mails with it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
After examining the contents of the employee suggestion box, the senior partner of the law firm complained, "I wish they would be more specific. What kind of kite? What lake?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The new bride had spent two hours preparing pumpkin pie for their first Thanksgiving dinner together. During desert, she watched her husband slowly savor each forkful. "How was it, Honey?" she asked when he'd finished. "Well," he began thoughtfully, wiping his lips, "you probably could have beaten the eggshells a little longer. But on the whole, it was a good start." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Buying Big Ticket Items Between Christmas and New Years is a good time to buy big ticket items like cars. Dealers usually want to clear out the old to make way for the new. Still do your research, compare prices, and DON'T buy from the first car lot or store. 8 Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Lets travel to Arkansas USA
___________________________________________________ A little boy took the chair at the barbershop. "How would you like your hair cut today, son?" asked the barber. "Oh, do it like you do Daddy's, with the big hole at the top." ___________________________________________________ Recently, our 18-year-old daughter started hunting for her first real job. She spent an afternoon filling out applications, leaving them on the kitchen table to finish later. As I walked by, a section of the application on top jumped out at me. Under "Previous Employment" she wrote, "Baby sitting." In answer to "Reason for Leaving" she wrote, "Parents came home." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Ann How to Clean the House 1. Open a new file in your PC. 2. Name it "Housework." 3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN. 4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN. 5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Housework permanently?" 6. Calmly answer, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly. Feel better?

Today November 25 in
1715 Sybilla Thomas Masters became the first American to be
granted an English patent for cleaning and curing Indian corn.

1758 During the French and Indian War, the British captured Fort
Duquesne at what is now known as Pittsburgh. 

1783 During the Revolutionary War, the British evacuated New
York. New York was their last military position in the U.S. 

1837 William Crompton patented the silk power loom. 

1850 Texas relinquished one-third of its territory in exchange
for $10 million from the U.S. to pay its public debts and settle
border disputes. 

1867 Alfred Nobel patented dynamite. 

1884 J.B. Meyenberg received the patent for evaporated milk. 

1936 The Anti-Comintern Pact, an agreement between Japan and
Germany, was signed. 

1947 Movie studio executives meeting in New York agreed to
blacklist the "Hollywood 10," who were cited a day earlier and
jailed for contempt of Congress when they failed to cooperate
with the House Un-American Activities Committee. 

1955 In the U.S., the Interstate Commerce Commission banned
racial segregation on interstate trains and buses. 

1970 Japanese author Yukio Mishima committed ritual suicide after
giving a speech attacking Japan's post-war constitution. 

1973 Greek President George Papadapoulos was ousted in military
coup. 

1976 O.J. Simpson (Buffalo Bills) ran for 273 yards against the
Detroit Lions. 

1983 Mediators from Syria and Saudi Arabia announced a cease-fire
in the PLO civil war in Tripoli, Lebanon. 

1985 Ronald W. Pelton was arrested on espionage charges. Pelton
was a former employee of the National Security Agency. He was
later convicted of 'selling secrets' to Soviet agents. 

1986 U.S. President Reagan and Attorney Gen. Edwin Meese revealed
that profits from secret arms sales to Iran had been diverted to
rebels in Nicaragua. National Security Advisor John Poindexter
resigned and Oliver North was fired. 

1990 Poland held its first popular presidential election. 

1992 The Czech parliament voted to split the country into
separate Czech and Slovak republics beginning January 1, 1993. 

1993 Egyptian Prime Minister Atef Sedki escaped an attempt on his
life when a bomb was detonated by Islamic militants near his
motorcade. 

1995 Serbs protested in the streets of the Bosnian capital
Sarajevo The protest was against a peace plan. 

1998 Britain's highest court ruled that former Chilean dictator
Augusto Pinochet, whose extradition was being sought by Spain,
could not claim immunity from prosecution for the crimes he
committed during his rule. 

1998 President Jiang Zemin arrived in Tokyo for the first visit
to Japan by a Chinese head of state since World War II. 

1998 The IMF (International Monetary Fund) approved a $5.5
billion bailout for Pakistan.

2018  smiled.


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Filters not working 




Good Morning, !

Today is Saturday, November 24

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Mother drove two miles to police station 
with son, 12, on auto's hood

______________________________________________________
Today, November 24 in
1859 Charles Darwin, a British naturalist, published "On the
Origin of Species." It was the paper in which he explained his
theory of evolution through the process of natural selection. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Seek simplicity, and distrust it. --- Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Judy for this story: The Students in my third-grade class were bombarding me with questions about my newly pierced ears. "Does the hole go all the way through?" "Yes." "Did it hurt?" "Just a little." "Did they stick a needle through your ears?" "No, they used a special gun." Silence followed, and then one solemn voice called out, "How far away did they stand?" And one smart-aleck could not resist asking: "Did they get both ears with one shot?" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Dave He was not well-educated and rather rough and crude around the edges, but he was recently converted and now on fire for the Lord. He was constantly pestering the pastor to give him some work that would be helpful to the church. Finally the pastor agreed. He gave the man a list of ten people who hadn't been in church for years nor made any financial contribution. Some of these were quite prominent in the community. The pastor said, "What I want you to do is get these people back to church, however you can. You can use church stationery if you want, but get these people back to church." Three weeks later the pastor got an envelope in the mail from a prominent doctor whose name had been on the list, along with a check for $1,000 and a note that read, "Dear Pastor, Please excuse my inactivity at church. I really have no excuse. Accept this check as a partial contribution for all the Sundays I've missed, and be assured I will never, by choice, miss worship again. Sincerely, J. B. Jones, M.D. P.S. - Will you kindly tell your secretary that there is only one "t" in dirty and no "c" in skunk?" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Classic from the Clinton era To: All staff, Los Alamos National Laboratory From: Bill Richardson, Secretary of Energy Dear staff members: Due to an unfortunate and silly overreaction by the Republicans in Congress to our minor difficulties in the security area, we're being forced to tighten up just a bit. Effective Monday: 1. The brown paper bag in which we store the computer disk drives that contain the nation's nuclear secrets will no longer be left on the picnic table at the staff commissary during lunch hour. It will be stored in "the vault." I know this is an inconvenience to many of you, but it's a sad sign of the times. 2. The three-letter security code for accessing "the vault" will no longer be "B-O-B." To confuse would-be spies, that security code will be reversed. Please don't tell anybody. 3. Visiting scientists and graduate students from Libya, North Korea and mainland China will no longer be allowed to wander the hallways without proper identification. Beginning Monday, they will be required to wear a stick-on lapel tag that clearly states, "Hello, My Name Is . . .." The stickers will be available at the front desk. 4. The computer network used for scientific calculations will no longer be hyper linked via the Internet to such Web sites as www.moammar.com, www.swedechicks.com, or www.hackers-r-us.com. Links to all Disney sites will be maintained, however. 5. Researchers bearing a security clearance of Level 5 and higher will no longer be permitted to exchange updates on their work by posting advanced-physics formulas on the men's room walls. 6. On "Bowling Night," please check your briefcases and laptop computers at the front counter of the Bowl-a-Drome instead of leaving them in the cloakroom. Mr. Badonov, the front-counter supervisor, has promised to "keep un eye on zem" for us. 7. Staff members will no longer be allowed to take home small amounts of plutonium, iridium or uranium for use in those "little weekend projects around the house." That includes you parents who are helping the kids with their science fair projects. 8. Thermonuclear devices may no longer be checked out for "recreational use." We've not yet decided if exceptions will be made for Halloween, the Fourth of July or New Year's Eve. We'll keep you posted. 9. Employees may no longer "borrow" the AA batteries from the burglar alarm system to power their Game Boys and compact-disc players during working hours. 10. And, finally, when reporting for work each day, all employees must enter through the front door. Raoul, the janitor, will no longer admit employees who tap three times on the side door to avoid clocking in late. I know this crackdown might seem punitive and oppressive to many of you, but it is our sworn duty to protect the valuable national secrets that have been entrusted to our care. Remember: Security isn't a part-time job-it's an imperative, all 37 1/2 hours of the week! ______________________________________________________ From Linda _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Shaurice Jones, 36, Bath, a Lehigh Valley borough. Pennsylvania Mother drove two miles to police station with son, 12, on auto's hood A Pennsylvania mother drove two miles with her 12-year-son on the hood of her car, according to police who yesterday arrested the woman on a pair of endangerment charges. As alleged in a criminal complaint, Shaurice Jones and her son quarreled last week when she drove the boy to a local dentist. The child, cops say, refused to go into the office. Instead, he climbed atop his mother’s automobile. Jones, 36, responded to her son’s protest by getting into her car and driving two miles to a police precinct. The speed limit on the road Jones traveled is 40 mph. Upon arriving at the Colonial Regional Police Department, Jones admitted to officers that she had been driving with her son on the vehicle’s hood. It appears Jones went to the precinct in the hopes that cops would mediate the family dental dispute. Pictured above, Jones has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child, a felony, and reckless endangerment, a misdemeanor. She was freed from custody after posting $1000 bail and is next due in court on December 4 for a preliminary hearing. Jones lives in Bath, a Lehigh Valley borough. That is the last time she will ever ask the police for help!
From: Derrick Re: Filters not working Dear Webby I have made filters to filter out spam that has all the common terms used by spammers. Yet more and more spams that has exactly those words in the subject line gets through anyway. The filters work some of the time but not at other times. Is that MailWasher's fault or what's going on ? Derrick Dear Derrick If you look into the header of those spams you will see some weird gobbledigook in the spot where plain words are showing if you read it with MailWasher or an email program. The gobbledigook is just the character codes in a different font. It is normally preceded with some stuff that contains: =?ISO- Just make a filter that looks for "=?ISO-" in the entire header. I catch about a dozen spams a day with that filter, and I have never seen a legitimate mail that had that combination of characters in the header. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A man got on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and Cork. "About two hours," says the driver. Then the man says, "Okay, then how long is the trip between Cork and Limerick?" The irritated driver says to the man, "It's still about two hours. Why would you think there would be a difference?" And the man said, "Well, it's only a week between Christmas and New Year, but it's a long time between New Year and Christmas!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
An old man sitting on the nursing home porch turns to the old man sitting next to him and chuckles, "Winter days like this really take me back. Do you remember the first time you made love to your wife?" "Heck No", says the other fellow, "I don't even remember the LAST time...." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Check the Sell By Date When shopping, always note the "sell by" date. Most foods will last a week past the "sell by" date. Look in the back of cases for the latest dates. If you already own food you won't be able to use, simply freeze it by the "sell by" date. 8 Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Shirk Report
___________________________________________________ Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70. They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man was completely done in, and he noted with some resentment that his senior was fresh as a daisy. "I don't understand," he marveled, "how you can listen to complaining patients from morning till night, on a day like this, and still look so spry and unbothered when it's over?" The older analyst replied, "Oy, who listens?" ___________________________________________________ A woman answered her front door and found two little boys holding a list. "Lady," one of them explained, "we're on a scavenger hunt, and we still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper to earn a dollar." "Wow," the woman replied. "Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?" "Our baby-sitter's boyfriend." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Sandie for this story: Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right. By 7 p.m., things had not changed, so I suggested I go outside, pretend I had just gotten home and start all over again. My wife agreed. I went outside, came back in and with a big smile, announced, "Honey, I'm home!" "And just where have you been?" she replied sharply. "It's after seven o'clock!"

Today November 24 in
1615 French King Louis XIII married Ann of Austria. They were
both 14 years old. 

1859 Charles Darwin, a British naturalist, published "On the
Origin of Species." It was the paper in which he explained his
theory of evolution through the process of natural selection. 

1863 During the Civil War, the battle for Lookout Mountain began
in Tennessee. 

1871 The National Rifle Association was incorporated in the U.S. 

1874 Joseph F. Glidden was granted a patent for a barbed fencing
material. 

1903 Clyde J. Coleman received the patent for an electric self-
starter for an automobile. 

1940 Nazis closed off the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw, Poland. Over
the next three years the population dropped from 350,000 to
70,000 due to starvation, disease and deportations to
concentration camps. 

1944 During World War II, the first raid against the Japanese
capital of Tokyo was made by land-based U.S. bombers. 

1947 The "Hollywood 10," were cited for contempt of Congress for
refusing to answer questions about alleged Communist influence in
their industry. 

1963 Dallas nightclub owner Jack Ruby shot and killed Lee Harvey
Oswald live on national television. 

1969 Apollo 12 landed safely in the Pacific Ocean bringing an end
to the second manned mission to the moon. 

1971 Hijacker Dan Cooper, known as D.B. Cooper, parachuted from a
Northwest Airlines 727 over Washington state with $200,000 in
ransom. He has not been caught.

1983 The Palestine Liberation Organization released six Israeli
prisoners in exchange for the release of 4,500 Palestinians and
Lebanese held by the Israelis. 

1985 In Malta, Egyptian commandos stormed an Egyptian jetliner.
60 people died in the raid. 

1987 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to scrap short- and
medium-range missiles. It was the first superpower treaty to
eliminate an entire class of nuclear weapons. 

1989 Czechoslovakia's hard-line party leadership resigned after
more than a week of protests against its policies. 

1992 In China, a domestic jetliner crashed, killing 141 people. 

1993 The U.S. Congress gave its final approval to the Brady
handgun control bill. 

1993 Robert Thompson and Jon Venables (both 11 years old) were
convicted of murdering 2-year-old James Bulger of Liverpool,
England. They were both sentenced to "indefinite detention." 

1995 In Ireland, the voters narrowly approved a constitutional
amendment legalizing divorce. 

1996 Rusty Wallace won the first NASCAR event to be held in
Japan. 

1998 AOL (America Online) announced a deal for their purchase of
Netscape for $4.21 billion. Then Microsoft "persuaded" AOL to
shelf and block Netscape and use Internet Explorer instead. 
Billions of netscape fans were furious, but powerless against
Microsoft's unlimited wealth.

2018  smiled.


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Gramma got run over by a reindeer 




Good Morning, !

Today is Friday, November 23
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



What is the difference between the Palestinian Authority and
DACA?

Both fund terrorists.

The Palestinian Authority pays a salary for terrorists, who have
been caught and are sitting in a jail in Israel.

What DACA pays to criminals freed by Sanctuary states is well
enough known.

DACA recipient “Luis Cobos-Cenobio, 29, an illegal immigrant,
faces charges of terrorism and attempted capital murder after a
shooting spree that saw him open fire [on] police during two
separate confrontations as he tried to escape a routine traffic
stop last week.

A href="https://youtu.be/xzODIKkp-d0">Vido of attack

According to ICE officials, Cobos-Cenobio was part of DACA, a
controversial amnesty program pushed by former President Obama
and many Democrats.

“Mr. Cobos-Cenobio had at least two previous arrests, officials
said, including one misdemeanor charge in 2015 that brought him
to ICE’s attention. But the Obama administration, which was in
office at the time, concluded he wasn’t a danger, and declined to
pursue deportation,” The Times continued.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Florida Driver's Blood Alcohol Content 
Was More Than 8X Legal Limit

______________________________________________________
Today, November 23 in
1980 In southern Italy, approximately 4,800 people were
killed in a series of earthquakes.
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
An economist is a man who states the obvious in terms of the incomprehensible. --- Alfred A. Knopf We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled by Frankenstein logic. --- David Russell ______________________________________________________ Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Q.: Why does Santa wear red underwear? A.: He's a man--he did all his laundry in one load. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for this story: My mother and I returned to my parents' house late one evening to find my father, my college-age brother, Steven, and my ten-year-old sister fast asleep. Mom had forgotten her house keys, so we knocked loudly, first at the back door and then the front and side doors. We yelled my father's name over and over, with no answer. The car horn aroused the neighbors but no one at our house. We drove into town and phoned home, finally waking Steven. When we got back, he let us in. Dad was in bed, snoring, with the television on. Mom quietly switched it off. Dad woke right up. "Don't turn that off," he said. "I'm watching it!" ______________________________________________________ Grand Island East Channel Lighthouse Lighthouse in the Alger County, Michigan _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ricardo Portillo-Gonzalez, 50, Port Richey, Florida Florida Driver's Blood Alcohol Content Was More Than 8X Legal Limit A Florida motorist’s blood alcohol content was more than eight times the legal limit when he was arrested yesterday for careening across the road, hitting two guardrails, and nearly striking other vehicles, cops report. Ricardo Portillo-Gonzalez, 50, was pulled over Sunday afternoon by a Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office corporal after police issued multiple be-on-the-lookout warnings after receiving witness reports about a dangerous driver. When Portillo-Gonzalez was contacted, a cop noted that he smelled of booze, had bloodshot, glassy eyes, and was unsteady on his feet. A subsequent breathalyzer test registered Portillo- Gonzalez’s blood alcohol content at .66 (the legal limit is .08). A second test recorded the suspect’s BAC at .64. Seen above, Portillo-Gonzalez was arrested for drunk driving and booked into the county jail on the misdemeanor charge. The El Salvador native, who works for a lawn care company, was released from custody early this morning after posting $500 bond (and sobering up). Portillo-Gonzalez, who lives in Port Richey, a Tampa suburb, is scheduled for a December 10 court appearance.
From: Alice Re: Gramma got run over by a reindeer Dear Webby where can I find that classic about Gramma got run over by a reindeer? Gramma Alice Dear Gramma Alice Here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TfSb6J4jhcU Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
One day, visited a doctor for a vaccination. After the doctor gave an injection, he tried to bandage around 's arm. "I think you'd better bandage around the other arm, doc!" asked . "But, why? I'm supposed to bandage around the injected part of your arm to let your friends know not to touch it." "You really don't have a clue about how kids behave, do you?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!" "Oh dear! I'm very sorry." replied her friend "What did you do?" "Opened a can of peas instead." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Browning Flour for Gravy The key to having appealing looking brown gravy, rather than pale gravy, is to brown the flour you use to thicken the gravy. Brown the flour in a skillet before adding liquid. Be sure to keep the heat low so it doesn't burn. For really fine gourmet gravy first gently sautee finely chopped onions with a bit of butter until they are about hazelnut brown. Do NOT go check your email during that, or else the onions will get black and bitter corners. When they are evenly browned, sprinkle some flour over them and stir until it too is evenly browned. Then stand back and with a longhandled ladle pour a ladle full water into the frying pan. The miniature steam explosion will tear apart any flour balls and you will get a smooth and delicious gravy. Add salt and pepper and whatever herbs and spices are called for, and let it simmer for a while. You can enhance the flavor by sprinkling some Hungarian paprika over the onions before you sprinkle the flour. It needs the hot butter to unlock it's flavor. Enjoy! DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Astronomy Picture of the Day
___________________________________________________ What's the most popular wine at Thanksgiving? "Do I have to eat my Brussel sprouts?" ___________________________________________________ Thanks to Donnie for these: "Authentic Amusing Headlines" Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find --- The Los Angeles Times Light' meals are lower in fat, calories -- Huntington Herald-Dispatch Alcohol ads promote drinking -- The Hartford Courant Infertility unlikely to be passed on --- Montgomery Advertiser Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link --- Cornell Daily Sun Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut --- The New York Times Malls try to attract shoppers -- The Baltimore Sun Official: Only rain will cure drought -- The Herald-News, Westpost, Massachusetts Low Wages Said Key to Poverty -- Newsday Man shoots neighbor with machete -- The Miami Herald Economist uses theory to explain economy -- Collinsville Herald-Journal Bible church's focus is the Bible -- Saint Augustine Record, Florida Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear -- Journal of Commerce Lack of brains hinders research -- The Columbus Dispatch ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Morris bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-Wheel drive vehicles." "She did," he replied, "But where in the world a fake Jeep was I going to find !!"

Today November 23 in
1765 Frederick County, MD, repudiated the British Stamp Act. 

1835 Henry Burden patented the horseshoe manufacturing machine. 

1889 The first jukebox made its debut in San Francisco, at the
Palais Royale Saloon. 

1890 Princess Wilhelmina became Queen of the Netherlands at the
age of 10 when her father William III died. 

1943 During World War II, U.S. forces seized control of Tarawa
and Makin from the Japanese during the Central Pacific offensive
in the Gilbert Islands. 

1945 The U.S. wartime rationing of most foods ended. 

1948 Dr. Frank G. Back patented the "Zoomar" lens. 

1946 Mound Metalcraft changed its name to Tonka Toys
Incorporated. 

1961 The Dominican Republic changed the name of its capital from
Ciudad Trujillo to Santo Domingo. 

1971 The People's Republic of China was seated in the United
Nations Security Council. 

1979 In Dublin, Ireland, Thomas McMahon was sentenced to life
imprisonment for the assassination of Earl Mountbatten. 

1980 In southern Italy, approximately 4,800 people were killed in
a series of earthquakes. 

1983 The first Pershing II missiles were deployed in West
Germany. In response, the U.S.S.R. broke off International
Nuclear Forces (INF) talks in Geneva. 

1985 Larry Wu-tai Chin, a retired CIA analyst, was arrested and
accused of spying for China. He committed suicide a year after
his conviction. 

1985 Gunmen hijacked an Egyptian jetliner en route from Athens to
Cairo. The plane was forced to land in Malta. 

1988 Wayne Gretzky scored his 600th National Hockey League (NHL)
goal. 

1989 Lucia Barrera de Cerna, a housekeeper who claimed she had
witnessed the slaying of six Jesuit priests and two other people
at the Jose Simeon Canas University in El Salvador, was flown to
the U.S. 

1991 Yugoslavia's rival leaders agreed to a new cease-fire, the
14th of the Balkan civil war. 

1994 About 111 people, mostly women and children, were killed in
a stampede after Indian police baton-charged tribal protesters in
the western city of Nagpur. 

1995 Charles Rathbun, free-lance photographer, was booked in
Hermosa Beach, CA, for investigation of murder in the
disappearance of model Linda Sobek. He was later convicted. 

1998 Dennis Rodman filed for an annulment from Carmen Electra.
The two had been married on November 14, 1998. 

1998 The tobacco industry signed the biggest U.S. civil
settlement. It was a $206-billion deal to resolve remaining state
claims for treating sick smokers. 

1998 A U.S. federal judge rejected a Virginia county's effort to
block pornography on library computer calling the attempt
unconstitutional. 

2001 A crowd of 87,555 people watched the Texas Longhorns beat
the Texas A&M Aggies 21-7. The crowd was the largest to see a
football game in Texas. 

2010 North Korea shelled Yeonpyeong Island. 

2018  smiled.


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Cold laptop 




Good Morning, !

Today is Thursday, November 22

If you are in the USA, Happy Thanksgiving!

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Babysitter broke sobbing toddler’s bones 
then dumped him near a hospital to die

______________________________________________________
Today, November 22 in
1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a
motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally was also
seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson was
inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. --- Rita Mae Brown Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. --- John Barrymore (1882 - 1942) "I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying." --- Oscar Wilde ______________________________________________________ I wondered if I could get my husband to address Christmas cards, as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, "Come on, Dear, let's get these out of the way." He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den, only to return moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed. "They're last year's," he said. "I forgot to mail them. Now let's go out to dinner and relax. You've been working too hard." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian. She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped. I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right. "I'm fine," she assured me, "but I hate to think what could have happened to me if that dog hadn't honked." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Regina After a recent move, I made up a list of companies, agencies, and services that needed to know my new address and phoned each one to ask for the change to be made. Everything went smoothly until I called one of my frequent flier accounts. After I explained to the representative what I wanted to do, the woman told me, "I'm sorry; we can't do that over the phone. You will have to fill out our change-of address form." "How do I get one of those?" I asked. "We'd be happy to provide you with one," she said pleasantly. "May I have your new address so that I can mail it to you?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dominick Smith, 33, Tulsa, Oklahoma Babysitter broke sobbing toddler’s bones then dumped him near a hospital to die A babysitter broke a two year-old boy’s bones because he would not stop crying before dumping him at a hospital to die. Dominick Smith, 33, was sentenced to life in prison last Friday for shaking, hitting, dropping and whipping King Owens, leaving the youngster with broken ribs and a skull fracture. Smith, who was cleared of murder but convicted of child neglect, also gave the toddler half a bottle of powerful sleep-aid NyQuil in a bid to get him to sleep. Two year-old King Owens was battered to death by babysitter Dominick Smith because he wouldn’t stop crying. She was sentenced to life in prison Friday Smith’s boyfriend Johnny Jones is serving 40 years in jail after being convicted of the same crime earlier this year. And King’s mom Keyshawn Brown, who had enjoyed a lengthy friendship with her son’s killers, will stand trial on identical charges next April, Tulsa World reported And King’s mom Keyshawn Brown, who had enjoyed a lengthy friendship with her son’s killer, will stand trial on identical charges next April, Tulsa World reported. During Smith’s trial, her defense attorney tried to claim Jones was behind the appalling catalog of abuse suffered by King. But jurors agreed with prosection claims that the babysitter, who began caring for King three weeks before his death, was behind the violence. In her closing argument, prosecutor Andrea Brown said: ‘Can you imagine watching that baby suffer for even a minute and not do something about it?’
From: Len Re: Cold Laptop Dear Webby I know you used to carry a laptop on the dogsled in the Yukon. Do you know if today's laptops can handle the cold, for example being locked in the truck while I am working? Thanks Len Dear Len Absolutely no problem. Just open it up and let it warm up for a few minutes before turning it on, and it will be fine. Any condensation it attracts while warming up, will be baked out of it in the first half hour. Computers can handle the cold a lot easier than heat, and the most fragile part is the keyboard. Get yourself a cheap but comfortable 16" - 17" keyboard and stick it into your laptop case. The laptop will last longer, and so will your hands and wrists. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. "What denomination?" Asked the clerk. "Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?" said the woman. "Well, give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic.”
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"Welcome to heaven, here's your harp and your tuning key." "Welcome to hell, here's your harp." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Remedy for Too Much Perfume If you still smell your perfume after a half hour, you likely are wearing too much. Try this: spray it in front of you and then walk through the spray. To remove excess perfume, make a paste of water and baking soda and rub it where you applied the perfume, then rinse off. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Funny vintage inventions and gadgets.
___________________________________________________ John was tasked with bringing the Christmas decorations up from the basement and start decorating the house and tree. During one trek up the stairs, heavily laden with boxes, he slipped and luckily only fell about two steps before landing square on his behind. His wife heard the noise and yelled, "What was that thump?" "I just fell down the stairs," he explained. She rushed into the room, "Anything broken?!" "No, no, I'm fine." There was just a slight pause before his loving wife said, "No, I meant my decorations? Are any of them broken?" ___________________________________________________ "Now tell me, Miss Jones," said the senior partner to the very junior employee, "what is the purpose of a vacation?" "To impress upon the employees that the company can get along without them," she responded promptly. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A woman who plays cards one night a month with a group of friends was concerned that she always woke up her husband when she came home around 11:30. One night she decided to try not to rouse him. She undressed in the living room and, purse over arm, tiptoed nude into the bedroom - only to find her husband sitting up in bed reading. "Dammit woman!" he exclaimed. "Did you lose everything?"

Today November 22 in
1699 A treaty was signed by Denmark, Russia, Saxony and Poland
for the partitioning of the Swedish Empire. 

1718 English pirate Edward Teach (a.k.a. "Blackbeard") was killed
during a battle off the coast of North Carolina. British soldiers
cornered him aboard his ship and killed him. He was shot and
stabbed more than 25 times. 

1899 The Marconi Wireless Company of America was incorporated in
New Jersey. 

1906 The International Radio Telegraphic Convention in Berlin
adopted the SOS distress signal. 

1910 Arthur F. Knight patented a steel shaft to replace wood
shafts in golf clubs. 

1935 The first trans-Pacific airmail flight began in Alameda, CA,
when the flying boat known as the China Clipper left for Manila.
The craft was carrying over 110,000 pieces of mail. 

1942 During World War II, the Battle of Stalingrad began. 

1943 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt, British Prime Minister
Winston Churchill and Chinese leader Chiang Kai-shek met in Cairo
to discuss the measures for defeating Japan. 

1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a
motorcade in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally was also
seriously wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson was
inaugurated as the 36th U.S. President. 

1967 The U.N. Security Council approved resolution 242. The
resolution called for Israel to withdraw from territories it had
captured in 1967 and called on adversaries to recognize Israel's
right to exist. 

1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon lifted a ban on American
travel to Cuba. The ban had been put in place on February 8,
1963. 

1974 The U.N. General Assembly gave the Palestine Liberation
Organization observer status. 

1975 Juan Carlos I was proclaimed King of Spain upon the death of
Gen. Francisco Franco. 

1975 "Dr. Zhivago" appeared on TV for the first time. NBC paid $4
million for the broadcast rights. 

1977 Regular passenger service on the Concorde began between New
York and Europe. 

1983 The Bundestag approved NATO's plan to deploy new U.S.
nuclear missiles in West Germany. 

1984 Fred Rogers of PBS' "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood" presented a
sweater to the Smithsonian Institution. 

1985 Anne Henderson-Pollard was taken into custody a day after
her husband Jonathon Jay Pollard was arrested for spying for
Israel. 

1985 38,648 immigrants became citizens of the United States. It
was the largest swearing-in ceremony. 

1986 An Iranian surface-to-surface missile hit a residential area
in the Iraqi capital of Baghdad, wounding 20 civilians. 

1986 Attorney General Meese's office discovered a memo in Colonel
Oliver North's office that included an amount of money to be sent
to the Contras from the profits of weapons sales to Iran. 

1986 Mike Tyson became the youngest to wear the world
heavyweight-boxing crown. He was only 20 years and 4 months old. 

1988 The South African government announced it had joined Cuba
and Angola in endorsing a plan to remove Cuban troops from
Angola. 

1989 Rene Moawad, the president of Lebanon, was assassinated less
than three weeks after taking office by a bomb that exploded next
to his motorcade in West Beirut. 

1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, his wife, Barbara, and
other congressional leaders shared Thanksgiving dinner with U.S.
troops in Saudi Arabia. 

1990 British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher announced she would
resign. 

1993 Mexico's Senate overwhelmingly approved the North American
Free Trade Agreement. 

1994 Inside the District of Columbia's police headquarters a
gunman opened fire. Two FBI agents, a city detective and the
gunman were killed in the gun battle. 

1994 In northwest Bosnia, Serb fighters set villages on fire in
response to retaliatory air strikes by NATO. 

1998 CBS's "60 Minutes" aired a tape of Jack Kevorkian giving
lethal drugs in an assisted suicide of a terminally ill patient.
Kevorkian was later sentenced to 25 years in prison for second-
degree murder. 

2005 Angela Merkel was elected as Germany's first female
chancellor. 

2005 Microsoft's XBOX 360 went on sale. 

2013 The discovery of Siats meekerorum was announced. The
dinosaur skeleton, more than 30 feet long, was found in eastern
Utah. 

2018  smiled.


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Is "FAST Again With Xtra-PC" a scam ? 







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Gmail opening wrong category 




Good Morning, !

Today is Tuesday, November 20

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Elderly Florida woman takes meth 
to her doctor for testing

______________________________________________________
Today, November 20 in
1980 On Jefferson Island, Louisiana, an oil rig in Lake Pigneur
pierced the top of the salt dome beneath the island. The
freshwater lake completely drained within a few hours. The
Delcambre Canal reversed flow and two days later the previous
freshwater lake was a 1,300-foot-deep saltwater lake. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese? --- Charles De Gaulle (1890 - 1970) Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see. --- Arthur Schopenhauer ______________________________________________________ The teen-aged beauty was telling a friend that she was really worried about her mother. The friend inquired as to the reason for her worrying. She informed her friend that her mom was always fatigued from staying up all night long. Her friend asked, "What's she doing staying up all night? At her age, that's not good at all!" The beauty replied, "Waiting for me to come home." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line sneered to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful." The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ After spending most of a day shopping with her grandson, purchasing gift after gift, the final stop on her checklist was to take the boy to see Santa in the mall's center court area. At the end of their visit, Santa gave the tyke a small gift. When he said nothing, grandma prodded him, "What do you say to Santa?" "Charge it," the boy replied, confidently. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Barbara Lee Ray, 73, Miami, Florida Elderly Florida woman takes meth to her doctor for testing Barbara Lee Ray is being charged on two counts of possession of methamphetamine together with two counts of possession of drug paraphernalia after an encounter with her doctor. The 73-year-old was in possession of meth and took it to her doctor to get tested, according to police reports. She was concerned about the effect the drug would have on her. She also worried the drug would harm her, according to The Miami Herald. Authorities were called to the hospital, and when they spoke to her, she said she had been using the drug for a month, according to police reports. She also showed police a "small clear plastic baggie containing a white crystal-like substance," the report says. Ray also had an empty prescription bottle with her name written on the prescription label. Contents that were inside the baggie and the container tested positive for meth, the police report says. Ray was sent to the hospital for treatment before being taken into custody by police. She didn't overdose on the drug but appeared to be under the influence of it, according to the police report. Ray would eventually be released from jail two days after her doctor's visit. The Miami Herald reports it is unknown why Ray was smoking meth or where she received the drugs.
Charles Re: Gmail opening wrong category Dear Webby I am running W7 Google Chrome amd Gmail. A week or so ago I ran Spybot and since then my GMail defaults to All Mail when I open up. It used to default to Inbox on opening. How can I get back to opening on Inbox. You are the Superfixer Charles Dear Charles Add or remove category tabs: On your computer, open Gmail. In the top right, click Settings Settings. Click the Inbox tab. In the "Inbox type" section, select Default. ... In the "Categories" section, check the boxes of tabs you want to show. ... Scroll to the bottom, then click Save Changes. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Judi's car wasn't the most reliable in the world and she called John whenever it broke down and she needed a ride. One day John got such a call. "What happened this time?" he asked. "My brakes went out. Can you come and get me?" "Sure. Where are you?" "I'm in the drugstore?" "Where's the car?" "Over in the toothpaste isle."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Sandie for this story: Jill complained to Nina, "Rosey told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her." "Well," replied Nina in a hurt tone, "I told her not to tell you I told her." "Oh dear!" sighed Jill. "Well, don't tell her I told you that she told me that you told her." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Refurbished Computers Companies like Dell and Apple sell refurbished computers and discontinued models with warranties at a 15% to 40% discount over buying the computer new. They come with a much longer warranty than you will get from an online auction, if you get any at all. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Slumping pumpkins!
___________________________________________________ A parent decreed one Christmas that she was no longer going to remind her children of their thank-you note duties. As a result their grandmother never received acknowledgments of the generous checks she had given. The next year things were different, however. "The children came over in person to thank me," the grandparent told a friend triumphantly. "How wonderful!" the friend exclaimed. "What do you think caused the change in behavior?" "Oh, that's easy," the grandmother replied. "This year I didn't sign the checks." ___________________________________________________ >from Linda Overheard on an elevator: Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with "WWJD" printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean, but couldn't figure it out, so he asked the clerk. The clerk replied that the letters stood for "What Would Jesus Do", and was meant to inspire people to not make rash decisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in the same situation. The man thought a moment and then replied, "Well, I'm pretty sure Jesus wouldn't pay $17.95 for one of these $3 caps."

Today November 20 in
1818 Simon Bolivar formally declared Venezuela independent of
Spain. 

1873 Budapest was formed when the rival cities of Buda and Pest
were united to form the capital of Hungary. 

1910 Francisco I. Madero led a revolution that broke out in
Mexico. 

1943 During World War II, U.S. Marines began their landing on
Tarawa and Makin atolls in the Gilbert Islands. 

1945 24 Nazi leaders went before an international war crimes
tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany. 

1947 Britain's Princess Elizabeth married Philip Mountbatten,
Duke of Edinburgh in Westminster Abbey. 

1959 Britain, Norway, Portugal, Switzerland, Austria, Denmark and
Sweden met to create the European Free Trade Association. 

1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis ended. The Soviet Union removed its
missiles and bombers from Cuba and the U.S. ended its blockade
of the island. 

1967 The Census Clock at the Department of Commerce in
Washington, DC, went past 200 million. 

1969 The Nixon administration announced a halt to residential use
of the pesticide DDT as part of a total phase out of the
substance. 

1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab leader
to address Israel's parliament. 

1980 On Jefferson Island, Louisiana, an oil rig in Lake Pigneur
pierced the top of the salt dome beneath the island. The
freshwater lake completely drained within a few hours. The
Delcambre Canal reversed flow and two days later the previous
freshwater lake was a 1,300-foot-deep saltwater lake. 

1983 An estimated 100 million people watched the controversial
ABC-TV movie "The Day After." The movie depicted the outbreak of
nuclear war. 

1986 The one billionth Little Golden Book was printed. The title
was The Poky Little Puppy. 

1987 Police investigating the fire at King's Cross, London's
busiest subway station, said that arson was unlikely to be the
cause of the event that took 31 lives. 

1988 Egypt and China announced that they would recognize the
Palestinian state proclaimed by the Palestine National Council. 

1989 Over 200,000 people rallied peacefully in Prague,
Czechoslovakia, demanding democratic reforms. 

1990 Saddam Hussein ordered another 250,000 Iraqi troops into the
country of Kuwait. 

1990 The space shuttle Atlantis landed at Cape Canaveral, FL,
after completing a secret military mission. 

1992 A fire seriously damaged the northwest side of Windsor
Castle in England. 

1993 The U.S. Senate passed the Brady Bill and legislation
implementing NAFTA. 

1994 The Angolan government and rebels signed a treaty in Zambia
to end 19 years of war. 

1995 Princess Diana admitted being unfaithful to Prince Charles
in an interview that was broadcast on BBC Television. 

1998 Afghanistan's Taliban militia offered Osama bin Laden safe
haven. Osama bin Laden had been accused of orchestrating two U.S.
embassy bombings in Africa and later terrorist attacks on New
York City and the Pentagon. 

1998 Forty-six states agreed to a $206 billion settlement of
health claims against the tobacco industry. The industry also
agreed to give up billboard advertising of cigarettes. 

2018  smiled.


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Are online orders from European mail-order stores safe? 




Good Morning, !

Today is Monday, November 19

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Escort agency ‘sets up advert outside nursery 
to recruit vulnerable mums’

______________________________________________________
Today, November 19 in
1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service on
the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey.  
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), ______________________________________________________ >From Barb IDLE THOUGHTS OF A RETIRED PERSON Oldies but goodies I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. I had amnesia once -- or twice. Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy. What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? They told me I was gullible... and I believed them. Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway. Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long. Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone. What if there were no hypothetical questions? One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people. When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity. How can there be self-help "groups"? Is there another word for synonym? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? The speed of time is one-second per second. Is it possible to be totally partial? Is Marx's tomb a communist plot? If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales? Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off. It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one. Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken? ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A guy was sitting in an airplane when another guy took the seat beside him. The new guy was a wreck, pale, hands shaking, biting his nails and moaning in fear. "Hey, pal, what's the matter?" said the first guy. "OmiGod.... I've been transferred to Los Angeles, California," the second answered. "They've got race riots, drugs. The highest crime rate....." "Hold on," said the first. "I've been in L.A all my life, and its not bad as the media says. Find a nice home, go to work, mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good school and it's as safe as anywhere in the world." The second guy stopped shaking for a moment and said "Oh, thank God. I was worried to death, but if you live there and say it's ok, I'll take your word for it. .....What do you do for a living?" "...Me?" said the first, "...I'm a tail gunner on a garbage truck." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a vodka and cranberry along with a quiet conversation with Jesus. This happened to me again after a paticularly difficult day. I said 'Jesus, why do I work so hard?' And I heard the reply: 'Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather.' I said: 'I thought that money was the root of all evil.' And the reply was: 'No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad'. I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it . 'Jesus,' I said, 'what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?' He replied: 'That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone and I would love to chat with you some more, but for now, Senor.... I have to finish your lawn.' ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Donny for this picture of his early Christmas Cactus _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by ‘La Femme escorts’, Liverpool England Escort agency ‘sets up advert outside nursery to recruit vulnerable mums’ An escort agency has been accused of attempting to recruit mothers by leaving an advertising van outside a nursery for two weeks. The van, which advertised an agency called ‘La Femme escorts’, was parked outside Pagoda Arts Centre in Liverpool which functions as a nursery for local parents. Parents coming in and out of the nursery were met by the van – which clearly displayed contact details – on a number of occasions, prompting concerns they were being ‘recruited’. Councillor Steve Munby, who had the van removed following complaints from Pagoda staff, said he feared the agency was targeting young mums. He said: ‘They are trying to recruit people and we are worried about that. It’s not just that it’s offensive. ‘I can’t think why else they would put them there if not to target mums or people who need to consider doing that for financial reasons. Normally you’d think they would put them in places where you have a flow of people or potential customers but this isn’t that. ‘They are trying to recruit people.’ After walking past on Saturday lunchtime mum-of-two Joan Halfon said she thought the van was ‘outrageous’. She said: ‘You come to town to do some shopping, so of course you take your kids with you but you don’t expect to see this. ‘In phone boxes or on the internet maybe, but not where children could just be out walking with their parents.’ The manager of Pagoda, who did not wish to be named, confirmed that staff had reported the van to the council after it was left parked outside the nursery for two weeks. She said nursery parents were left ‘upset’ by the van, which staff thought had been abandoned outside. She added: ‘We have no idea why it was parked there. If they want to advertise they would have parked it somewhere more busy.’ Featuring six naked women covered by furs, the poster said the company offers ‘luxury’ services 24 hours a day, seven days a week. A spokesman for Liverpool Council said: ‘Where vehicles are contravening parking regulations or causing an obstruction we will take action to have them moved on.’
Harald Re: Ordering from European stores over the web Dear Webby I am trying to order some Christmas presents for some relatives in Europe. Is it safe to order them from one of their mail-order stores over the web? Harald Dear Harald NO!!! Not from Nigerian stores either. Just buy the gifts here and mail them. Shipping and duty is a lot less, and a LOT less frustrating. Europe is ahead of us with phones, but 10 or more years behind with on-line commerce, partly because their banks are so barbaric. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Boris for this story: When I picked up my Ford Escort at the service station after some minor repairs, I paid by check as usual. A couple of weeks later, I came home from work and got hit with the frying pan. After that, she gave me the silent treatment until I figured out why she was so angry. She had noticed the canceled check and, on the memo line I had written "Escort Service."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There is the story of a parson who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. "The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new church roof. "The bad news is, the money is still out there in your pockets." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Fun Uses for Buttons Buttons make great wall decorations or plates in doll houses. You can string them together to make a button bracelet or sew them on fabric. You could also substitute them for lost game pieces or use them as poker chips. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
2018 Comedy Wildlife Awards plus previous years.
___________________________________________________ Benny and Mark were at the bar chatting about how much their wives thought of them. Mark said, "My wife, she thinks so much of me that she won't let me do any work around the house. It's great!" Not to be out done, Benny said, "That's nothing. My wife simply worships me..." Confused Mark asked, "She worships you? C'mon, what makes you say that?" "Easy. Every night she places a burnt offering before me." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Patty had been wanting new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband Don, insisted they were an extravagance. She went to visit her dad for two weeks and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that Don had surprised her by installing beautiful new cabinets as a Christmas present for her. A few days later, Debbie, a neighbor came over to visit and after admiring the new cabinets, the neighbor added, "All of us were so glad that the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the kitchen.

Today November 19 in

1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It
resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War. 

1850 The first life insurance policy for a woman was issued.
Carolyn Ingraham, 36 years old, bought the policy in Madison,
NJ. 

1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address as
he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the Civil War
battlefield in Pennsylvania. 

1893 The first newspaper color supplement was published in the
Sunday New York World. 

1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E. Blaisdell.


1919 The U.S. Senate rejected the Treaty of Versailles with a
vote of 55 in favor to 39 against. A two-thirds majority was
needed for ratification. 

1928 "Time" magazine presented its cover in color for the first
time. The subject was Japanese Emperor Hirohito. 

1942 During World War II, Russian forces launched their winter
offensive against the Germans along the Don front. 

1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service on
the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey. 

1959 Ford Motor Co. announced it was ending the production of
the unpopular Edsel. 

1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles Conrad and Alan Bean made
man's second landing on the moon. 

1970 Hafiz al-Assad seized power in Syria. 

1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab
leader to set foot in Israel on an official visit. 

1981 U.S. Steel agreed to pay $6.3 million for Marathon Oil. 

1985 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S.
Gorbachev met for the first time as they began their summit in
Geneva. 

1990 NATO and the Warsaw Pact signed a treaty of nonaggression.


1993 The U.S. Senate approved a sweeping $22.3 billion anti-
crime measure. They outlawed crime!

1994 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to bomb rebel
Serb forces striking from neighboring Croatia. 

1997 In Carlisle, IA, septuplets were born to Bobbi McCaughey.
It was only the second known case where all seven were born
alive. 

1998 The impeachment inquiry of U.S. President Clinton began. 

1998 Vincent van Gogh's "Portrait of the Artist Without Beard"
sold at auction for more than $71 million. 

1999 In Istanbul, Turkey, the Organization for Security and
Cooperation in Europe (OSCE) concluded a two-day summit after
adopting a new arms accord. During the conference, Russia was
criticized for its military campaign against Chechnya's
separatist movement. 

2002 The oil tanker Prestige broke into two pieces and sank off
northwest Spain. The tanker lost about 2 million gallons of
fuel oil when it ruptured November 13th and was towed about 150
miles out to sea. 

2002 The U.S. government completed its takeover of security at
424 airports nationwide. 

2003 Eight competing designs for a memorial to the victims of
the September 11, 2001, terrorist attacks at the World Trade
Center were unveiled. One design would be built at the site of
the World Trade Center. 

2007 The Amazon Kindle was first released.

2018  smiled.


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MailWasher and Malwarebytes 




Good Morning, !

Today is Sunday, November 18

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Woman who identified as a vampire stabbed boyfriend ‘because he
was a werewolf’

______________________________________________________
Today, November 18 in
1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of 
standard time zones. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people. --- Peter McArthur The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) Junk - stuff we throw away. Stuff - junk we keep. --- Da Funk ______________________________________________________ "If you'll make the toast and pour the juice, Sweetheart," said the newlywed bride, "breakfast will be ready." "Good, what are we having for breakfast?" said the new husband. "Toast and juice," the bride replied. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ During a recent vacation in Las Vegas, a man went to see a popular magic show. After one especially amazing feat, a man from the back of the theater yelled, "Hey, how'd you do that?" "I could tell you sir," the magician answered, "but then I'd have to kill you." After a short pause the man yelled back, "Ok then... just tell my wife!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ and his family lived in the country, and as a result seldom had guests. He was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office. When the dinner was nearly over, went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father who passed it to a guest. came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest. This was too much for , who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Donny for this picture of his early Christmas Cactus _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ekaterina Tirskaya, 22, Novosibirsk, Russia Woman who identified as a vampire stabbed boyfriend ‘because he was a werewolf’ A woman who thought she was a vampire from a TV show stabbed her new boyfriend to try and ‘fulfil her mission to slay werewolves’. Ekaterina Tirskaya, 22, believed she was Elena Gilbert, the main character in fantasy drama The Vampire Diaries, she told police. A psychological assessment carried out before her trial in Novosibirsk, Russia, reportedly found her to be sane. Tirskaya and her unnamed lover slept together for the first time after meeting on social media, the court was told. In the morning she suddenly ‘changed’, telling him she was a vampire and like Elena Gilbert, played by Canadian actress Nina Dobrev, had to slay werewolves. He said he didn’t believe in the supernatural, and urged her to go home, the court heard. ‘She grabbed a knife in the kitchen and suddenly attacked him when he was getting out of the bath,’ one report said. ‘He managed to get hold of the knife. ‘But she grabbed another one and stabbed him in the chest.’ He staggered out of his flat and banged on neighbours doors pleading for help. They called for an ambulance and police. The man was gravely wounded but survived the February attack. Prosecutor Felix Kuznetsov said she was sentenced to two and a half years in prison after being found guilty of inflicting grievous bodily harm. She was also ordered to pay £3,900 in ‘moral damages’ to her stabbed lover.
Bob Re: MailWasher and Malwarebytes Dear Webby I have finally decided to get mailwasher because i get so much spam every day. I wanted to know if I can keep my Malwarebytes with it. Do I need to keep my virus protection because reading about it, it mentions virus control in it. Thanks, Bob Dear Bob Yes, sure you can keep MawareBytes! MalwareBytes protects you from evil shit that you get via browsers. MailWasher protects you from spam, and bad stuff coming in via email. The two of them are like a Marine at the front door, and a Navy Seal at your back door. They guard different doors, but both protect you. The nice part about MailWasher, it lets you preview the headers of mail, including the hidden parts that you otherwise never see, and lets you nuke those mails right on the server, without ever downloading that crap. For example, a sender might pretend to be PayPal, and in your email program even look like PayPal. The MailWasher preview shows you IN RED, that the underlying, hidden actual address is a Russian .ru address. And it flags it for Deleting. When you hit F6 to process, that mail goes straight to hell. You don't even have to download it. I use the same addresses since 1994, and they are in all spammer's CDs. So what? I have been using MailWasher since about 1996, and I only see the 100 or so mails, that I actually want to read. By all means GET MailWasher as fast as you can. You have seen messages from people, who have kicked themselves for not getting it a long time ago. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
An English 101 class was asked to write a SHORT essay containing four elements: religion, royalty, sex, and mystery. The only "A+" in the class read: "My God," said the Queen, "I'm pregnant! I wonder who did it?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Connie for this classic: A minister was opening his mail one morning. Drawing a single sheet of paper from an envelope he found written on it only one word: "FOOL". The next Sunday he announced, "I have known many people who have written letters and forgot to sign their name. "But this week I received a letter from someone who signed his name and had forgotten to write a letter." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Disguising Gifts for Curious Kids Assign a number for each person in your family and then put the number on the presents instead of a name. That way, children won't go rummaging through presents to see which presents are theirs. When it is time to open gifts, tell everyone what their number is. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
2018 Comedy Wildlife Awards plus previous years.
___________________________________________________ Two salesmen were writing up their orders when the conversation came around to last night's big date. "So, how'd it go, Harry?" asked Gil. "Terrible," admitted Harry. "The moment we got back to her place the phone started ringing. There must have been fifteen calls from guys wanting to ask her out. It never stopped, and we never got started." Gil tried to comfort him. "It could have been worse, Harry. After all, an attractive young woman's allowed to have her number in the phone book, now isn't she?" "Yeah, but not with a picture in the Yellow Pages." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant. "That's not an offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?" "A few hours before the store opened."

Today November 18 in
1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the
Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in
England. 

1820 Captain Nathaniel Palmer became the first American to
sight the continent of Antarctica. 

1865 Samuel L. Clemens published "The Celebrated Jumping Frog
of Calaveras County" under the pen name "Mark Twain" in the New
York "Saturday Press." 

1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time
zones. 

1903 The U.S. and Panama signed a treaty that granted the U.S.
rights to build the Panama Canal. 

1916 Douglas Haig, commander of the British Expeditionary Force
in World War I, called off the Battle of the Somme in France.
The offensive began on July 1, 1916. 

1928 The first successful sound-synchronized animated cartoon
premiered in New York. It was Walt Disney's "Steamboat Willie,"
starring Mickey Mouse. 

1936 Germany and Italy recognized the Spanish government of
Francisco Franco. 

1959 William Wyler's "Ben-Hur" premiered at Loew's Theater in
New York City's Times Square. 

1966 U.S. Roman Catholic bishops did away with the rule against
eating meat on Fridays. 

1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles "Pete" Conrad Jr. and Alan L.
Bean landed on the lunar surface during the second manned
mission to the moon. 

1976 The parliament of Spain approved a bill that established a
democracy after 37 years of dictatorship. 

1983 Argentina announced its ability to produce enriched
uranium for use in nuclear weapons. 

1987 The U.S. Congress issued the Iran-Contra Affair report.
The report said that President Ronald Reagan bore "ultimate
responsibility" for wrongdoing by his aides. 

1987 CBS Inc. announced it had agreed to sell its record
division to Sony Corp. for about $2 billion. 

1988 U.S. President Reagan signed major legislation provided
the death penalty for drug traffickers who kill. 

1993 The U.S. House of Representatives joined the U.S. Senate
in approving legislation aimed at protecting abortion
facilities, staff and patients. 

1993 Representatives from 21 South African political parties
approved a new constitution. 

1997 First Union Corp. announced its purchase of CoreStates
Financial Corp. for $16.1 billion. To date it was the largest
banking deal in U.S. history. 

2018  smiled.


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Eudora Attachments on W10 solved 




Good Morning, !

Today is Saturday, November 17

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Florida man asks cops to arrest him 
for child porn

______________________________________________________
Today, November 16 in
1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, 
linking the Mediterranean and the Red sea. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children. --- King Edward VIII (1894 - 1972) I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.' --- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972) There is no nonsense so gross that society will not, at some time, make a doctrine of it and defend it with every weapon of communal stupidity. --- Robertson Davies ______________________________________________________ >From Carol My husband brought our three young children down the long hall of the maternity ward, pausing to let them wave in each doorway at the new mothers cuddling bundles. At my room, he beckoned them in and introduced them to their new brother. Five-year-old Katrina gingerly fingered the baby's thick red hair that the nurse had brushed and oiled into a fat top curl. She inspected his little feet, admired his tiny ears, and planted kisses on his dimpled elbow. But her coos stopped short at his wrist. Drawing back, she pointed at the identification bracelet and frowned, "Look, Mommy. They left the price tag on!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "George is so forgetful," the sales manager complained to his secretary. "It's a wonder he can sell and I'm not sure he'll even remember to come back." Just then the door flew open, and in bounced George. "You'll never guess what happened!" he shouted. "While I was at lunch, I met Old Man Brown, who hasn't bought anything from us for five years. Well, we got to talking and he gave me this half-million dollar order!" "See," sighed the sales manager to his secretary. "I told you he'd forget the sandwiches." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A reporter from New York was visiting an old colleague who now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town. "I don't see how you do it," the NY reporter said. "How can you drum up interest in the news when everybody in town knows what everybody else is doing?" "Sure they know," the editor said, "but they read the paper to see who got caught at it." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cory Hinsch, 24, Pensacola, Floriduh Florida man asks cops to arrest him for child porn A Florida man walked into a Pensacola police precinct and asked to be arrested for downloading images of child porn onto his phone, cops say. Cory Hinsch, 24, walked into the police station Friday afternoon and told a front desk officer that he “needed to be taken to jail because he had downloaded child pornography on his cell phone,” according to a November 9 Pensacola Police Department report. Hinsch then “placed his cell phone up to the glass at the counter” and displayed an illicit image of a young girl that was stored on the phone. During a subsequent interview with investigators, Hinsch reportedly admitted downloading the child porn images from the “dark web” via a “Tor browser app” on his phone. A police examination of Hinsch’s phone revealed two images of young girls engaging in sexual activity. Hinsch was arrested on two counts of possession of child pornography. He was booked into the Escambia County jail, where he remained locked up until Tuesday, when he posted $10,000 bond. Bill Re: Eudora now showing attachments on W10 Dear Webby You are a genius! I spent a week looking for answers in various support groups because I hate to always be bothering you. I should have asked you first. Your solution works like a charm. Thank you. Bill Dear Bill You are most welcome! Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them - from Rudolph to Blitzen - had to be a girl. We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night, not ask for directions, and not get lost.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
After the fall in Garden of Eden, Adam was walking with his sons Cain and Abel. They passed by the ruins of the Garden of Eden. One of the boys asked, "What's that?" Adam replied, "Boys, that's where your mother ate us out of house and home." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Disguising Gifts for Curious Kids Assign a number for each person in your family and then put the number on the presents instead of a name. That way, children won't go rummaging through presents to see which presents are theirs. When it is time to open gifts, tell everyone what their number is. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Your daily dose of internet.
___________________________________________________ “I’ve never flown before, said the nervous old lady to the pilot. “You will bring me down safely, won’t you? “All I can say ma’am,” said the pilot, “is that I’ve never left anyone up there yet!” ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
An angel suddenly appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean of the college that, in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, he will be given his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. At length, one of his colleagues whispers, "Say something wise." The dean looks at them and says, "I should have taken the money."

Today November 17 in
1558 Elizabeth I ascended the English throne upon the death of
Queen Mary Tudor. 

1603 Sir Walter Raleigh went on trial for treason. 

1796 Catherine the Great of Russia died at the age of 67. 

1798 Irish nationalist leader Wolfe Tone committed suicide while
in jail awaiting execution. 

1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean
and the Red sea. 

1880 The first three British female graduates received their
Bachelor of Arts degrees from London University. 

1903 Russia's Social Democrats officially split into two groups
Bolsheviks and Mensheviks. 

1904 The first underwater submarine journey was taken, from
Southampton, England, to the Isle of Wight. 

1913 The steamship Louise became the first ship to travel through
the Panama Canal. 

1913 In Germany, Kaiser Wilhelm banned the armed forces from
dancing the tango. 

1922 Siberia voted for union with the U.S.S.R. 

1968 NBC cut away from the final minutes of a New York Jets-
Oakland Raiders game to begin a TV special, "Heidi," on schedule.
The Raiders came from behind to beat the Jets 43-32. 

1970 The Soviet Union landed an unmanned, remote-controlled
vehicle on the moon, the Lunokhod 1. The vehicle was released by
Luna 17. 

1973 U.S. President Nixon told an Associated Press managing
editors meeting in Orlando, FL, "people have got to know whether
or not their president is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook." 

1979 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini ordered the release of 13 female
and black American hostages being held at the U.S. Embassy in
Tehran. 

1988 Benazir Bhutto became the first woman leader of an Islamic
country. She was elected in the first democratic elections in
Pakistan in 11 years. 

1990 A mass grave was discovered by the bridge over the River
Kwai in Thailand. The bodies were believed to be those of World
War II prisoners of war. 

1990 The Soviet government agreed to change the country's
constitution. 

1997 62 people were killed by 6 Islamic militants outside the
Temple of Hatshepsut in Luxor, Egypt. The attackers were killed
by police. 

1997 Mario Lemieux was voted into the NHL Hall of Fame. 

2001 "Toys "R" Us Times Square The Center of the Toy Universe"
opened in New York City. 

2006 Sony's PlayStation 3 went on sale in the United States. 

2010 Reasearchers trapped 38 antihydrogen atoms. It was the first
time humans had trapped antimatter. 

2018  smiled.


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Eudora has attachment problems with new W10 




Good Morning, !

Today is Friday, November 16
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Homeless man and N.J. couple 
concocted story for GoFundMe fundraiser

______________________________________________________
Today, November 16 in
1969 The U.S. Army announced that several had been charged with
massacre and the subsequent cover-up in the My Lai massacre in
Vietnam on March 16, 1968, that was photographed by a left-wing
anti-war "reporter" embedded with the troops. The photo became
quite famous and hurt the Vietnam war as much as Hanoi Jane did.
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small. --- Henry Kissinger (1923 - ) This is patently absurd; but whoever wishes to become a philosopher must learn not to be frightened by absurdities. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) "I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." --- Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. --- Burt Bacharach ______________________________________________________ One of the first things you learn on your honeymoon is, when you're carrying your bride over the threshold, always go in sideways -- unless of course two broken ankles and a concussion turn you on. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The government will be requiring new food labels that are more specific. Products will now be labeled, no fat, low fat, reduced fat and fat, but great personality. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A young woman sat in her stalled car, waiting for help. Finally, two men walked up to her. "I'm out of gas," she purred. "Could you push me to the gas station?" The men readily put their muscles to the car and rolled it several blocks. After a while, one looked up, exhausted, to see that they had just passed a gas station. "We just passed a station! How come you didn't turn in?" he yelled. "Oh, I never go there," the girl shouted back. "They don't have full service." ______________________________________________________ Re Yesterday's picture: The picture for Nov 15 looks a lot like my first car, a 1928? Model A Ford Sedan. Bought it near Crown Point Oregon where I was logging, fixed it up to run and drove it around Portland when I was in high school. Lots of interesting adventures. The paint was in better condition though. Clyde _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kate McClure, right, McClure's boyfriend Mark D'Amico in jail in New Jersey, Johnny Bobbitt Jr., left, UNder a bridge, somewhere. Homeless man and N.J. couple concocted story for GoFundMe fundraiser Couple Mark D'Amico and Kate McClure and homeless man Johnny Bobbitt Jr. are expected to face charges that include conspiracy and theft by deception. A New Jersey couple accused of scamming a homeless good Samaritan out of hundreds of thousands of dollars as part of an online fundraiser that went viral a year ago had initially conspired with him to concoct a "fictitious story," prosecutors allege. A complaint obtained by NBC Philadelphia says couple Mark D'Amico and Kate McClure made up a GoFundMe campaign in honor of Johnny Bobbitt Jr. so that all three could raise money by deceiving generous donors. They kept up the ruse by preventing donors from acquiring information that would affect their judgment about the campaign and "by failing to correct their story," the complaint added. The three are expected to face charges that include conspiracy and theft by deception, a source familiar with the case told NBC Philadelphia, adding that D'Amico and McClure surrendered to authorities on Wednesday. Ernest Badway, an attorney for D'Amico and McClure, told NBC News he had no comment early Thursday. Chris Fallon, an attorney for Bobbitt, could not immediately be reached for comment. The initially feel-good tale began last fall when Bobbitt, a homeless Marine veteran, gave McClure his last $20 after she ran out of gas on a freeway ramp in Philadelphia, she said. Moved by the gesture, McClure and D'Amico started a GoFundMe campaign for Bobbitt. "Johnny did not ask me for a dollar, and I couldn't repay him at that moment because I didn't have any cash, but I have been stopping by his spot for the past few weeks," McClure wrote in her post. Bobbitt's kindness drew donations from more than 14,000 people and earned him $402,000. The outpouring, in turn, touched the couple: "He will never have to worry about a roof over his head again!!" they later posted on GoFundMe while thanking "everyone who had a part of this amazing ride." Bobbit claimed that of the $402,000 he just got $25,000 and that D'Amico and McClure spent the rest on a brand new BMW, vacations and jewelry. Police have since then confiscated some of the loot. Bill Re: Eudora not showing attachments on W10 Dear Webby I have recently upgraded to Windows 10 because my W7 died. The OS is installed on a new SSD. Since that time, Eudora 7 attachments will not work, e.g. pdf or wmv files. If I send these emails to Gmail, the attachments will open normally. It appears that W10 can't find the attachments. I have searched for an answer, but to date have been unsuccessful. I know that you can help resolve this problem. Thanks. Bill Dear Bill You can tell Eudora where to stash attachments. Instead of some hard to find directory way down somewhere, tell it to put them into C:\att and of course make that directory. You may still have to go in there occasionally and snug up file names, that have empty spaces in them. You may also have to set default programs to open wmf and pdf. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them were talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remained quiet. After a while one of the first two turned to the third and said, "Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?" The third fellow said, "I'll tell you -- just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees." The first two guys were amazed. "Wow! What happened then?" they asked. The third man took a healthy swallow of his beer, sighed and uttered, "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.'"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students. "As you can see," she says, "the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Michael, what would you do in a case like this?" "Well," ponders the student, "I suppose I'd limp too." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Removing a Nail That Has Lost Its Head When the nail head breaks off a nail, it can be tough to get the claw of the hammer to grip the nail. To remove the nail, slip the claw of the hammer over the remainder of the nail and then pull the nail out by moving the hammer sideways instead of straight out. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Your daily dose of internet.
___________________________________________________ During a Biology class, the teacher asked the class, "Why is it that during childhood girls tend to grow taller than guys?" A student replied, "That's because guys have balls and that weighs them down." The teacher, quite annoyed, responded, "Then why is it that at maturity guys tend to grow taller than girls?" The student countered by saying, "That's because girls get breasts and they are heavier than the guy's balls." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married ?" "Yes, sir, once" said the witness in a low voice. "Whom did you marry?" "Well, a woman." The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman ! Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man ?" And the witness said meekly, "MY mother did."

Today November 16 in
1776 British troops captured Fort Washington during the American
Revolution. 

1885 Canadian rebel Louis Riel was executed for high treason. 

1915 Coca-Cola had its prototype for a contoured bottle patented.
The bottle made its commercial debut the next year. 

1933 The United States and the Soviet Union established
diplomatic relations for the first time. 

1952 In the Peanuts comic strip, Lucy first pretended to hold a
football for Charlie Brown. 

1966 Dr. Samuel H. Sheppard was acquitted in his second trial of
charges he had murdered his pregnant wife, Marilyn, in 1954. 

1969 The U.S. Army announced that several had been charged with
massacre and the subsequent cover-up in the My Lai massacre in
Vietnam on March 16, 1968, that was photographed by a left-wing
anti-war "reporter" embedded with the troops. The photo became
quite famous and hurt the Vietnam war as much as Hanoi Jane did.

1973 Skylab 3 carrying a crew of three astronauts, was launched
from Cape Canaveral, FL, on an 84-day mission. 

1973 U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure into
law. The Alaska pipeline is still working perfectly well, even
though a major earthquake knocked the pipe off a bunch of
pillars. They just lifted it back up.
Bears still like walking on the pipeline.

1981 A vaccine for hepatitis B was approved. The vaccine had been
developed at Merck Institute for Therapeutic Research. 

1985 Colonel Oliver North was put in charge of the shipment of
HAWK anti-aircraft missiles to Iran. 

1988 Estonia's parliament declared that the Baltic republic
"sovereign," but stopped short of complete independence. 

1997 China released Wei Jingsheng, a pro-democracy dissident from
jail for medical reasons. He had been incarcerated for almost 18
years. 

1998 In Burlington, WIsconsin, five high school students, aged 15
to 16, were arrested in an alleged plot to kill a carefully
selected group of teachers and students. 

1998 It was announced that Monica Lewinsky had signed a deal for
the North American rights to a book about her affair with U.S.
President Clinton. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court said that union members could file
discrimination lawsuits against employers even when labor
contracts require arbitration. 

1999 Chrica Adams, the pregnant girlfriend of Rae Carruth, was
shot four times in her car. She died a month later from her
wounds. The baby survived. Carruth was sentenced to a minimum of
18 years and 11 months in prison for his role in the murder. 

2000 Bill Clinton became the first serving U.S. president to
visit Communist Vietnam. 

2001 The movie "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" opened
in the U.S. and U.K. 

2004 A NASA unmanned "scramjet" (X-43A) reached a speed of nearly
10 times the speed of sound above the Pacific Ocean. 

2018  smiled.


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Mouse driver 





Good Morning, !
Today is  Thursday November 15

I am chipped now.
To take a glucose reading I wave the recorder near my left arm.
It takes the data wirelessly, tells me if it is going up, down,
sideways, up or down fast, and puts the data into a graph.
Once a week I connect the recorder (credit card size but as thick
as your Sillyphone) to a USB port and upload the data to the PCN
(Pretty Cute Nurse)
Then she nags me via email if the glucose level was too high at
any time.
The only time I have to poke my finger the old fashioned way is
if the graph shows an unbelievable jag.

I still have to inject insulin the old fashioned way. No WiFi for
that, yet.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
British mum secretly hoarded £240,000 of 
cocaine, some in daughter's Kinder eggs

______________________________________________________
Today, November 15 in
1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that 
became known as Pikes Peak. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
At 18 our convictions are hills from which we look; At 45 they are caves in which we hide. --- F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940) Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. --- Robert Orben ______________________________________________________ When Jill decided to improve her computer skills, she threw herself into it with enthusiasm. Every week she'd check out two or three instructional books from the library. After about a month the librarian commented, "Wow! You must really be getting knowledgeable at this stuff." "Thanks," Jill said. "What makes you say that?" The librarian answered, "Only one of the books you're checking out this week has 'For Dummies' in the title." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two sisters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their Church. At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the most important role. Finally the 12-year-old said to her 8-year-old younger sister, "Well, you just ask Mom. She'll tell you it's much harder to be a virgin than it is to be an angel!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for bringing back this classic: One evening after dinner, a five-year-old boy noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked his father, "Where did Mommy go?" In answer to his question, he was told, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party." This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Daddy?" The man had always given his son honest answers, so he figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, son," he said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other." He nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime. Then he burst out into laughter and said, "Come on, Dad! What is it really?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Clare Tague, 32, Manchester, Britain British mum secretly hoarded £240,000 of cocaine, some in daughter's Kinder eggs A mum-of-one hoarded £240,000 worth of cocaine in her bedroom after finding it on a walk near her home then led a secret double life to hide it from her boyfriend and daughter. Clare Tague, 32, who has been jailed for six years, even hid some of the cocaine in her 11-year-old's Kinder egg boxes. The 1.2kg stash had been dumped in a field near Tague's home in Clayton, Manchester, and after she was rumbled she told police: 'I found it on the field and was going to sell it on for money why didn't I just leave it where it was.' Police got a tip off she was hoarding the drugs and last May seized the haul during a raid on her home. Tague claimed she had planned to sell the drugs to pay off gambling debts and during the raid police found four mobile phones and a list of 'figures' among shopping lists. Manchester Crown Court heard Tague had stashed snap bags inside 10 Kinder eggs at a street value of £2,000 to £5,000. Prosecuting, Alison Heyworth said: 'A number of bags and packages of cocaine were recovered from their bedroom. Three packages of cocaine were found there. 'Two blocks were found wrapped in tissue paper. 'The compressed blocks of cocaine were likely to be sold in bulk and could range in value between £4,000 and £50,000.' She added that an Asda bag found in Tague's wardrobe contained another six blocks of cocaine at 61% purity, ranging from 124g to 349g. 'This had a value range of £18,000 to £75,000,' the prosecutor said. Tague was arrested alongside her partner during the raid on May 18 but she pulled one officer aside and indicated that her partner didn't know about the bags. 'She said why didn't I just leave it where it was. I found it on the field and was going to sell it on for money ,' Ms Heyworth told the court. 'They found further plastic bags under the bin bag in the bin including 80 snap bags. 'These were ready to be sold on directly and had a value worth of £3,000 to £7,000.' The total value of cocaine found at Tague's home valued between £28,000 and £238,000, she said. Defence lawyer Rachel White told the court that Tague had always worked but after her father's death she became depressed and developed a gambling addiction. 'This was all to try to get rid of the debt,' she said. 'There is no evidence of a lavish lifestyle and she didn't drag her partner into the proceedings.' Ed Re: Mouse Driver Dear Webby I followed your advice and got a Logitech wireless 7 button mouse. It came with a CD for the drivers. Unfortunately, this old klunker does not have a working CD drive anymore. Now what? Ed Dear Ed Just plug the little wirless transceiver into a USB port. Windows has the basic drivers for it and will install them. Then Logitech will show up in the start panel and you can go in there and customize the settings. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Sandie for this one: A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy two servings per night and a few more on weekends, I consume 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which equals to one pound of weight per week. Therefore, in the last three and a half years, I have had a chocolate caloric intake of about 180 pounds. I only weigh 165 pounds, so without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing about three months ago. I owe my life to chocolate!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Thanks to Roland for this: One little punctuation mark would have made a world of difference in the gigantic sign I saw posted outside a local family restaurant: "Kids Under 12 Eat Free Live Clown Every Wednesday." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Softening Brown Sugar Put a slice of bread in a bag of brown sugar that has become hard and then seal the bag. The brown sugar will soften within a couple of days, then discard the bread. In a hurry, just grate the clumps using a hand grater or put in the microwave for a few seconds. Brown sugar is not raw sugar. Ancient laws require all sugar to be fully refined. It is simply flavored and moistened with a bit of molasses. DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
I love beautiful parks.
___________________________________________________ A woman in our diet club was lamenting that she had gained weight. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she reported, and they'd eaten half of it at dinner. The next day, she said, she kept staring at the other half, until finally she cut a thin slice for herself. One slice led to another, and soon the whole cake was gone. The woman went on to tell us how upset she was with her lack of willpower, and how she knew her husband would be disappointed. Everyone commiserated, until someone asked what her husband said when he found out. She smiled. "He never found out. I made another cake and ate half!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A little boy, excited about his part in the Christmas play at school, came home and shouted, "I got a part in the Christmas play! I got a part in the Christmas play!" "What part did you get?" asked his mother excitedly. "I'm one of the three wise guys!"

Today November 15 in
1777 The Continental Congress approved the Articles of
Confederation, precursor to the U.S. Constitution. 

1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that became
known as Pikes Peak. 

1864 Union Gen. William T. Sherman and his troops began their
"March to the Sea" during the U.S. Civil War. 

1867 the first stock ticker was unveiled in New York City. 

1889 Brazil's monarchy was overthrown. 

1901 Miller Reese patented an electrical hearing aid. 

1902 Anarchist Gennaro Rubin failed in his attempt to murder King
Leopold II of Belgium. 

1920 The League of Nations met for the first time in Geneva,
Switzerland. 

1926 The National Broadcasting Co. (NBC) debuted with a radio
network of 24 stations. The first network radio broadcast was a
four-hour "spectacular." 

1940 The first 75,000 men were called to Armed Forces duty under
peacetime conscription. 

1965 The Soviet probe, Venera 3, was launched from Baikonur,
Kazakhstan. On March 1, 1966, it became the first unmanned
spacecraft to reach the surface of another planet when it crashed
on Venus. 

1966 The flight of Gemini 12 ended successfully as astronauts
James A. Lovell and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin Jr. splashed down safely
in the Atlantic Ocean. 

1969 In Washington, DC, a quarter of a million protesters staged
a demonstration against the Vietnam War. 

1985 Britain and Ireland signed an accord giving Dublin an
official consultative role in governing Northern Ireland. 

1986 A government tribunal in Nicaragua convicted American Eugene
Hasenfus of charges related to his role in delivering arms to
Contra rebels. He was sentenced to 30 years in prison and was
pardoned a month later. 

1986 Ivan F. Boesky, reputed to be the highest-paid person on
Wall Street, faced penalties of $100 million for insider stock
trading. It was the highest penalty ever imposed by the SEC. 

1988 The Palestine National Council, the legislative body of the
PLO, proclaimed the establishment of an independent Palestinian
state at the close of a four-day conference in Algiers. 

1992 Richard Petty drove in the final race of his 35-year career.


1993 A judge in Mineola, NY, sentenced Joey Buttafuoco to six
months in jail for the statutory rape of Amy Fisher. Fisher was
serving a prison sentence for shooting and wounding Buttafuoco's
wife, Mary Jo. 

1995 Texaco agreed to pay $176 million to settle a race-
discrimination lawsuit. 

1999 Representatives from China and the United States signed a
major trade agreement that involved China's membership in the
World Trade Organization (WTO). 

2000 Three police officers from the Rampart division of the Los
Angeles police department were convicted on several counts of
conspiracy to obstruct justice. One other officer was acquitted.
The case was the first major case against the anti-gang unit. 

2005 In Amiens, France, Isabelle Dinoire became the first person
to undergo a partial face transplant. She had been attacked by a
dog earlier in the year. 

2006 Andy Warhol's painting of Communist Party Chairman Mao
Zedong sold for $17.4 million. At the same auction "Orange
Marilyn" sold for $16.2 million and "Sixteen Jackies" sold for
$15.6 million.

2018  smiled.


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Wired or wireless mouse 





Good Morning, !
Today is  Tuesday November 14

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Tinder date in Ponte Vedra leads to 
home invasion, police chase. 
Crooks rammed and stopped by cops.

______________________________________________________
Today, November 14 in
1889 New York World reporter Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochrane)
began an attempt to surpass the fictitious journey of Jules
Verne's Phileas Fogg by traveling around the world in less than
80 days. Bly succeeded by finishing the journey the following
January in 72 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead. --- James Thurber (1894 - 1961) ______________________________________________________ Marv, a local cop, recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Ladislanyatv Abdulkhashim Zybkcicraznovskaya from the Republic of Uzbekistan, visiting my daughter." Marv put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well, uhhh, ok, but don't let me catch you speeding again." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Connie for this: If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that. Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. Then take a dump in the woods. I could deal with that, too. If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them into next week. I could deal with that. If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat. I wanna be a bear. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ When the pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers, a lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband Jim had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced. She continued, "Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delica te operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim. She continued, "Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely." All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if any one else had anything to say. A man rose, walked to the podium, and said, "I'm Jim, and I want to tell my wife - once again - the word is STERNUM." ______________________________________________________ Soapy Smith ? _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Eric Wheeler, 26, Lexus Joshlin Tripplett, 20, Ponte Vedra, Florida Tinder date in Ponte Vedra leads to home invasion, police chase. Crooks rammed and stopped by cops. Facebook A Ponte Vedra resident was restrained and robbed during a home invasion that originated as a Tinder date, the St. Johns County Sheriff's Office said. The victim had arranged for a female to come to his house, but a male subject appeared and pointed a gun at him and began taking items, deputies said. The victim was tied up with bed sheets, pushed under a bed and gagged with a shirt so he couldn't scream for help, deputies said. He was forced to give up his bank account information, the report said. Before the victim freed himself, the two suspects were already using his bank accounts. The suspects were quickly identified as Michael Eric Wheeler, 26, and Lexus Joshlin Tripplett, 20, and located in a nearby park. Wheeler is a convicted felon, deputies said. He's charged with kidnapping, resisting arrest and robbery. "Deputies approached the suspects, who then turn fled and attempted to lead deputies into a vehicle pursuit. Due to the seriousness of the charges and the belief that the subjects may be involved in other violent crimes from outside of our jurisdiction, deputies rammed the suspect car against several trees, stopping their attempted escape." Wheeler is being held on a $650,000 bond, while Tripplett faces a $350,000 bond. From: Elsie Re: Wired or wireless mouse? Dear Webby What is better, a wired or a wireless mouse? Elsie Dear Elsie A wired 5 button mouse (with copy and paste!) is $50 cheaper than a similar mouse that is wireless. With the wireless mouse you have to keep buying batteries. The disadvantage of the wired mouse is that the cable gets snagged and you kock stuff over or off the desk. Today's wireless mice don't eat batteries like they used to 15 or 20 years ago. They are quite frugal now. I have a Logitech wireless 5 button mouse and a Microsoft wired 5 button mouse. The Logitech wireless mouse is aboout 7 years old, the Microsoft wired 5 button mouse is about 3 years old. The Microsoft mouse has gotten a bit unpredictable, especially the left button. Overall, the quality of the mouse is not quite the same as the Logitech mouse. Yes, I know, Microsoft does dot MAKE the mouse, they just get their cut for lending their name. However, the mouse they chose to market, is definitely a lower quality than the Logitech 5 button mouse. I have used 5 button mice since the mid 90's, using side buttons for copy and paste, and depressing the wheel for ENTER. Using a three button mouse from the Dollar Store is painful! Actually, my mice have 7 buttons. The wheel tilts for horizontal scrolling, but I never use that feature, or almost never. If it did not have horizontal scrolling, I would not miss it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Two dogs were walking down the street. The one dog says to the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back." He walks across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for about a minute, then walks back across the street. The other dog says, "What was that about?" The dog first dog says, "Oh, I was just checking my p-mail."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A Man Walked By A Table In A Hotel And Noticed Three Men And A Dog Playing Cards. The Dog Was Playing With Extraordinary Performance. "This Is A Very Smart Dog," The Man Commented. "Not So Smart," Said One Of The Players. "Every Time He Gets A Good Hand, He Wags His Tail." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Add Cinnamon Baby's Breath To Greenery Tuck cinnamon-scented baby's breath among your holiday greenery, in wreathes, between the Christmas tree branches, in garlands, etc. It's lovely burgundy color and delicate form spruces up any arrangement. It can be purchased at most craft stores and is inexpensive. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Autumn in New England
___________________________________________________ The philosophy professor teaching a course my friend was taking warned the class he was going to give them a test. When the day came he entered the classroom, wordlessly placed his chair on the table and, turning to the blackboard, wrote, "Prove to me this chair does not exist." Most of the nervous students began intently scribbling out long dissertations. But one member of the class wrote down just two words, and then handed his paper to the teacher. The professor had to smile when he read the student's answer: "What chair?" He got an A ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Elsinore When I was 28, I was teaching English to high school freshmen in a school where occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress down. One of those days I donned a sweatshirt and slacks. A student came in and his eyes widened. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "You should wear clothes like that every day. You look twenty, maybe even thirty years younger!"

Today November 14 in
1832 The first streetcar went into operation in New York City,
NY. The vehicle was horse-drawn and had room for 30 people. 

1851 Herman Melville's novel "Moby Dick" was first published in
the U.S. 

1881 Charles J. Guiteau's trial began for the assassination of
U.S. President Garfield. Guiteau was convicted and hanged the
following year. 

1889 New York World reporter Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochrane)
began an attempt to surpass the fictitious journey of Jules
Verne's Phileas Fogg by traveling around the world in less than
80 days. Bly succeeded by finishing the journey the following
January in 72 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes. 

1922 The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) began domestic
radio service. 

1935 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed the
Philippine Islands a free commonwealth after its new constitution
was approved. The Tydings-McDuffie Act planned for the
Phillipines to be completely independent by July 4, 1946. 

1940 During World War II, German war planes destroyed most of the
English town of Coventry when about 500 Luftwaffe bombers
attacked. 

1951 The first telecast of a world lightweight title fight was
seen coast to coast. Jimmy Carter beat Art Aragon in Los Angeles.

1956 The USSR crushed the Hungarian uprising with tanks. 

1968 Yale University announced it was going co-educational. 

1969 Apollo 12 blasted off for the moon from Cape Kennedy, FL. 

1969 During the Vietnam War, Major General Bruno Arthur Hochmuth,
commander of the Third Marine Division, became the first general
to be killed in Vietnam by enemy fire. 

1972 The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above the 1,000
(1,003.16) level for the first time. 

1972 Blue Ribbon Sports became Nike. 

1973 Britain's Princess Anne married a commoner, Capt. Mark
Phillips, in Westminster Abbey. They divorced in 1992, and
Princess Anne re-married. 

1979 U.S. President Carter froze all Iranian assets in the United
States and U.S. banks abroad in response to the taking of 63
American hostages at the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran. 

1983 The British government announced that U.S.-made cruise
missiles had arrived at the Greenham Common air base amid
protests. 

1988 Israeli President Chaim Herzog formally asked Prime Minister
Yitzhak Shamir to form a new government. 

1989 The U.S. Navy ordered an unprecedented 48-hour stand-down in
the wake of a recent string of serious accidents. 

1990 Simon and Schuster announced it had dropped plans to publish
Bret Easton Ellis novel "American Psycho." 

1991 After 13 years in exile Cambodian Prince Norodom Sihanouk
returned to his homeland. 

1994 U.S. experts visited North Korea's main nuclear complex for
the first time under an accord that opened such sites to outside
inspections. 

1995 The U.S. government instituted a partial shutdown, closing
national parks and museums while most government offices operated
with skeleton crews. 

2012 The game Candy Crush Saga was released as a mobile app for
smartphones. 

2018  smiled.


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Laptop getting hot 




Good Morning, !
Today is  Tuesday November 13

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Yet again, an ICE detainer was ignored and 
a dangerous criminal alien was released to 
the streets and is now charged with killing 
three people.

______________________________________________________
Today, November 13 in
1805 Johann George Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a sausage
recipe and called it the "Frankfurter." Frankfurt was deemed a
modern and progressive town. In Frankfurt,that sausage was called
"The Wiener". In Northamerica it is called "European Wiener" 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all. --- Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971) ______________________________________________________ Nancy was studying to be a counselor always went into her counseling sessions with an ear muff over one ear. After a while the supervisor became very curious and asked her about it. She replied, "It's for confidentiality." "Confidentiality?" asked the bewildered supervisor. "Yes, confidentiality," Nancy explained, "I've been told what goes in one of my ears comes out the other, and I don't want anyone else knowing what my client says." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man had a ticket for the theater but when he was seated by the usher, he found that he was too far from the stage. He whispered to the usher, "This is a mystery play, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip." The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. The usher looks at the quarter, frowns at him, then leans over and whispers, "The wife did it". _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A sweet 6 year-old girl is sitting on Santa's Lap in a department store. Santa asks the young child "And what do you want for Christmas?" The sweet girl looks into Santa's eyes, and says with disgust, "Hey, didn't you read my E-mail?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Middlesex County Jail New Jersey Luis Rodrigo Perez, 23, Mexican Yet again, an ICE detainer was ignored and a dangerous criminal alien was released to the streets and is now charged with killing three people. “Yet again, an ICE detainer was ignored and a dangerous criminal alien was released to the streets and is now charged with killing three people,” Price said. “Had ICE’s detainer request in December 2017 been honored by Middlesex County Jail, Luis Rodrigo Perez would have been placed in deportation proceedings and likely sent home to his country – and three innocent people might be alive today. "It is past time that localities realize the perils of dangerous sanctuary policies and resume their primary goal of protecting their residents," Price added. In an email to the Associated Press, Middlesex County officials said the detainer wasn't honored because it didn’t meet their criteria. Missouri law enforcement officials believe Perez and Aaron Anderson, 19, killed their ex-roommates Steven Marler, 38, and Aaron Hampton, 23, after they were kicked out of their Springfield home. Perez is also accused of killing a 21-year-old Sabrina Starr the next day at her house. He is charged with eight felony counts in the shootings. Anderson told investigators he was waiting with Starr in an SUV outside Hampton and Marler’s home when Perez shot them, adding that he could hear the victims begging for their lives while on the phone with Perez. He was charged as an accomplice to first-degree murder and three other felonies. Perez’s girlfriend, Dalia Garcia, 23, is charged with tampering with evidence after she allegedly rode a bus from New Jersey to help burn evidence. From: Helen Re: Laptop getting hot Dear Webby My laptop feels hotter and hotter on my lap. What do I have to do? Helen Dear Helen The machinery did not change, it just got dirty. You have to, either yourself or get soebody else to do it, open it up and vacuum it out. Especially when used on your lap, it sucks in all kinds of cozy fluff, That interferes with the cooling. You need a phillips screwdriver and a vacuum cleaner with a crewvice attachment. An empty jam jar is also handy for keeping the removed screws in. Some Q-tips and windex may also be handy. Shut it down, but don't necessarily unplug anything. The charging cable will ground it and stop you from zapping it. Turn it upside down and remove all screws that you can see. Put the screws into the jam jar, so that they don't roll away or get vacuumed up. Once you have removed all the screws, you can \separate the top and bottom of the laptop. Once you have the top and bottom separated, you see the big mess. Use the vacuum cleaner to clean everything without quite touching anything. If you see any heatsinks or fans, clean them with a Q-tip and Windex or anything like that. Assemble it again and put the screws back in. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
John had been playing golf for years, and he had the finest equipment, but his technique never improved a bit. As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods. "Why don't you use an old ball?" his friend asked. "I've never had an old ball," he said.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A Chinese couple while working in a Chinese restaurant, fall in love and get married - and she's a virgin. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring: "My darling, I know dis you firs time and you bery frighten. I promise you, I give you anyting you wann, I do anyting you wann.... What you wann?" "I wann have numma 69" she replies. He looks at her very puzzled and says, "You wann . Beef with Bloccoli?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Make Your Own Logs If you have a wood burning stove and receive the daily paper, you can make your own newspaper logs. Lay newspapers flat and roll it into 3 inch diameter logs then wrap metal wire around the finished log. The tighter you can roll the paper, the longer the "logs" will burn. You will wind up with a lot of ash, that you have to vacuum out, otherwise it will "blind" the grate and interfere with air flow. Also, keep in mind that when paper is burned without plenty of heat and air, you produce toxic pollutants, and not really very much heat. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Your daily dose of internet.
___________________________________________________ Woman phones up her husband at work for a chat. HIM "I'm sorry dear but I'm up to my neck in work today." HER "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you dear." HIM "OK darling, but as I've got no time now, just give me the good news." HER "Well, the air bag works." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Bubba's sister is pregnant and is in a bad car accident, which caused her to fall into a deep coma. After nearly six months, she awakens and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, " Ma'am, you had twins -- a boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them." The woman thinks to herself, "Oh, no! Not Bubba; he's an idiot!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?" "Denise," the doctor answers. The new mother thinks, "Wow! That's a beautiful name! I guess I was wrong about my brother. I really like the name Denise." Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?" The doctor replies, "Denephew."

Today November 13 in
1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured
Montreal. 

1789 Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to a friend in which he
said, "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except
death and taxes." 

1805 Johann George Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a sausage
recipe and called it the "Frankfurter." Frankfurt was deemed a
modern and progressive town. In Frankfurt,that sausage was called
"The Wiener". In Northamerica it is called "European Wiener"

1927 The Holland Tunnel opened to the public, providing access
between New York City and New Jersey beneath the Hudson River. 

1933 In Austin, MN, the first sit-down labor strike in America
took place. 

1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a measure
lowering the minimum draft age from 21 to 18. 

1956 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws calling for racial
segregation on public buses. 

1971 The U.S. spacecraft Mariner 9 became the first spacecraft to
orbit another planet, Mars. 

1982 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was dedicated in Washington,
DC. 

1984 A libel suit against Time, Inc. by former Israeli Defense
Minister Ariel Sharon went to trial in New York. 

1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan publicly acknowledged that the
U.S. had sent "defensive weapons and spare parts" to Iran. He
denied that the shipments were sent to free hostages, but that
they had been sent to improve relations. 

1994 Sweden voted to join the European Union. 

1998 Monica Lewinsky signed a deal with St. Martin's Press for
the North American rights to her story about her affair with U.S.
President Bill Clinton. 

2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed an executive order that
would allow for military tribunals to try any foreigners captured
with connections to the terrorist attacks on the United States on
September 11, 2001. It was the first time since World War II that
a president had taken such action. 

2006 A deal was finalized for Google Inc. to acquire YouTube for
$1.65 million in Google stock. 

2009 NASA announced that water had been discoved on the moon. The
discovery came from the planned impact on the moon of the Lunar
Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS). 

2018  smiled.


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Email Virus 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, November 12

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Troopers seize $1.3 million in marijuana 
during Olmsted Falls traffic stop

______________________________________________________
Today, November 12 in
1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard
at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of
the garment that is named after him. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others. --- Jules Renard (1864 - 1910) Anybody who has doubts about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one. --- George Meany Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ Pun Alert ! Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his rented van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ While working as a mall Santa, I had many children ask for electric trains. "If you get a train," I would tell each one, "you know your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that okay?" The usual answer was a quick yes. But after I asked one boy this question, he became very quiet. Trying to move the conversation along, I asked what else he would like Santa to bring him. He promptly replied, "Another train." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. "We need a fourth for poker," said the friend. "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?" "Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, three doctors are there already....!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Keryl J. Lopez, 48, McKinleyville, California Troopers seize $1.3 million in marijuana during Olmsted Falls traffic stop A California woman is facing charges after Ohio Highway Patrol troopers seized 510 pounds of marijuana in a Nov. 5 traffic stop in Olmsted Falls, according to a news release. At 1:20 p.m. troopers stopped a 2018 Penske Truck with Indiana registration for speed and marked lanes violations on the Ohio Turnpike. Criminal indicators were observed and a drug-sniffing canine alerted to the vehicle, according to the release. A probable cause search revealed the contraband. The driver, Keryl J. Lopez, 48 of McKinleyville, California, is facing single felony counts of possession and trafficking in marijuana. She is being held in the Strongsville City Jail. If convicted, she could face up to 22 years in prison and up to a $40,000 fine. There is no mug shot of her available anywhere on the net. From: Roland Re: Email virus Dear Webby Please check this one out, see if it's true, Thanks, Roland This one is called the (FTC/DOJ COMPLAINT) e-mail: Another E-mail Virus I just came across a new e-mail virus that is starting to spread itself around the Web. It comes as an e-mail from the Department of Justice. Keep reading for all the details! ...Blah, blah, blah Currently, no antivirus companies have a patch to protect anyone from this attack.......... Hi Roland Just a BS hoax. Whenever you read "Currently, no antivirus companies have a ....." "Microsoft announced..." "IBM announced ...." "AOL announced..." "FTC announced..." then it is BS. Guaranteed. Nobody reads mail from the Dept. of Justice anyway, unless they are some crook on probation. If you have MailWasher, that kind of stuff never makes it to your mailbox. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Martin for this story: Two men are out ice fishing at their favourite fishing hole, just fishing quietly and drinking beer. Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Rick says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months." Dave continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
On the way hom as I was sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that the flight was full. The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats. In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later. About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer. About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter said, "If there is anyone else OTHER than the flight crew who'd like to volunteer, please step forward." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com sy Classic Christmas Ornament Lightly spray paint pine cones with gold or silver paint to make a classic Christmas ornament. Use florist wire or paper clips to hang them on the tree. Or, put them in a bowl or basket as a as a centerpiece or table decoration. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Oldest Human Footprints in North America Discovered
___________________________________________________ One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned 1-1/2 hours later with a black eye. "Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asked. "No," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too."

Today November 12 in

1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard
at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of
the garment that is named after him. 

1918 Austria and Czechoslovakia were declared independent
republics. 

1921 Representatives of nine nations gathered for the start of
the Washington Conference for Limitation of Armaments. 

1927 Joseph Stalin became the undisputed ruler of the Soviet
Union. Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party leading
to Stalin coming to power. 

1931 Maple Leaf Gardens opened in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. It
was to be the new home of the Toronto Maple Leafs in the National
Hockey League (NHL). 

1942 During World War II, naval battle of Guadalcanal began
between Japanese and American forces. The Americans won a major
victory. 

1944 During World War II, the German battleship "Tirpitz" was
sunk off the coast of Norway. 

1946 The first drive-up banking facility opened at the Exchange
National Bank in Chicago, IL. 

1948 The war crimes tribunal sentenced Japanese Premier Hideki
Tojo and six other World War II Japanese leaders to death. 

1954 Ellis Island, the immigration station in New York Harbor,
closed after processing more than 20 million immigrants since
1892. 

1964 Paula Murphy set the female land speed record 226.37 MPH. 

1979 U.S. President Carter ordered a halt to all oil imports from
Iran in response to 63 Americans being taken hostage at the U.S.
embassy in Tehran, Iran on November 4. 

1980 The U.S. space probe Voyager I came within 77,000 miles of
Saturn while transmitting data back to Earth. 

1982 Yuri V. Andropov was elected to succeed the late Leonid I.
Brezhnev as general secretary of the Soviet Communist Party's
Central Committee. 

1984 Space shuttle astronauts Dale Gardner and Joe Allen snared
the Palapa B-2 satellite in history's first space salvage. 

1985 In Norfolk, VA, Arthur James Walker was sentenced to life in
prison for his role in a spy ring run by his brother, John A.
Walker Jr. 

1987 The American Medical Association issued a policy statement
that said it was unethical for a doctor to refuse to treat
someone solely because that person had AIDS or was HIV-positive. 

1990 Japanese Emperor Akihito formally assumed the Chrysanthemum
Throne. 

1995 The space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to dock
with the Russian space station Mir. 

1997 Four Americans and their Pakistani driver were shot to death
in Karachi, Pakistan. The Americans were oil company employees. 

1997 The UN Security Council imposed new sanctions on Iraq for
constraints being placed on UN arms inspectors. 

1997 Ramzi Yousef was found guilty of masterminding the 1993
bombing of the World Trade Center. 

1998 Daimler-Benz completed a merger with Chrysler to form
Daimler-Chrysler AG. 

2001 American Airlines flight 587 crashed just minutes after take
off from Kennedy Airport in New York. The Airbus A300 crashed
into the Rockaway Beach section of Queens. All 260 people aboard
were killed. 

2001 It was reported that the Northern Alliance had taken the
Kabul, Afghanistan, from the ruling Taliban. The Norther Alliance
at this point was reported to have control over most of the
northern areas of Afghanistan. 

2002 Stan Lee filed a lawsuit against Marvel Entertainment Inc.
that claimed the company had cheated him out of millions of
dollars in movie profits related to the 2002 movie "Spider-Man."
Lee was the creator of Spider-Man, the Incredible Hulk and
Daredevil. 

2013 A series of portraits of Lucian Freud by the British painter
Francis Bacon known as Three Studies of Lucian Freud sold for
$142.4 million at an auction in New York City. 

2013 In New York, it was announced that the new World Trade
Center was the tallest building in the United States. The height
was measured at 1,776 feet. The building was also the fourth
tallest building in the world at the time. 

2013 U.S. Airways and AMR reached an antitrust settlement with
the U.S. Department of Justice which would allow a merger that
would create the world's largest airline. 

2014 NATO commander Gen Philip Breedlove reported that Russian
military equipment and Russian combat troops had been seen
entering Ukraine in columns over several days. 

2014 The European Space Agency's Rosetta spacecraft used its
lander Philae to perform the first soft landing on a comet. The
comet was 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko. 

2018  smiled.


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Mailwasher filters 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, November 11

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

OZ man ‘punched prostitute in the face’ 
when she refused to have sex without a condom

______________________________________________________
Today, November 11 in
1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany
signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day
in the United States. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) You can observe a lot just by watching. --- Yogi Berra (1925 - ) ______________________________________________________ Sometimes Norm can be so positive and enthusiastic about whatever's he's doing that it's disconcerting to me. I wonder if he's walking in the same world I am. Once we were fishing in a mountain lake. We hadn't caught a thing. Norm had rowed the boat to five or six different spots, looking for the fish to bite. Finally, after about three hours, he got this big grin on his face and said, "Now we can really start fishing. We know where the fish aren't!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Wilbur Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." So she got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my wine. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ While down south on a visit, the young Yankee made a date with a local lovely. When he called for her, she was clad in a low-cut, tight-fitting, long dress. He remarked, "That's certainly a beautiful dress." "Sho 'nough?" she asked sweetly. "It sure does," he replied. ______________________________________________________ Tag Team _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Andrew Strogylos, 36, Sydney, Australia OZ man ‘punched prostitute in the face’ when she refused to have sex without a condom Mortgage broker Andrew Strogylos, 36, was charged with common assault and assault occasioning actual bodily harm against the woman who worked at a brothel in Sydney, Australia. He allegedly attacked her when she refused unprotected sex after Strogylos handed over $200 for a ‘platinum service’. Strogylos had been wearing a condom when the service began, but allegedly took it off before trying to have sex with the 28-year-old sex worker at the Zinia Brothel on March 16. Burwood Local Court heard that Strogylos argued with the woman when she tried to ‘shut down’ the one-hour session. Court documents claim Strogylos told the woman he had paid $200 for platinum service and she should ‘offer those services’. The court heard the woman called for help and covered herself with a towel until her co-worker Yi Xun Gan entered the room. Police allege in court documents that Strogylos then spat in the woman’s face, she poured water on him and he allegedly retaliated by punching her in the face. Mr Gan was also allegedly punched in the face after trying to help the woman. Strogylos was arrested on April 27 at his home in Belmore, Sydney. time to act Police allegedly uncovered a stash of steroids including 63 10ml vials of testosterone in his bedroom, the court heard. He was also charged with five counts of possessing a prohibited drug and supply prohibited drug, after police allegedly uncovered pills and other items at this home. Strogylos, who did not apply for bail and was formally refused bail. It is hoped that he will be taught manners in jail. From: Jenn Re: Mailwasher filters Dear Webby I finally took your advice and downloaded Mailwasher. Can you suggest some filters for spam? I already set up the "=?ISO-" one you suggested, but wonder if you have any more suggestions. Also, how do I keep it from bouncing legitimate mail I get from the various lists that I'm on (including yours)? Do I have to make sure to get them all on my friends list? Jenn Dear Jenn For making filters just make them as spam comes in. They are really easy to make, and a very rewarding type of fun. When you see spam, look for things different spams have in common. A typically common word is "enlarge", and that also is part of enlargement. Hit CTRL F7, the Filter editor opens, make a filter that reacts to that word, deletes it and hides it. The same for "Prescript", and so on. No need to use the full words, just the common parts of them. With newsletters, make GOOD filters for them. That is more precise than to just add them to the friends list. Mark them as legitimate and hide them from the list Just add filters as required by the type of spam you get. The reward is when you open up in the morning and read in the status line: 412 emails hidden, and then gleefully pounce on the "PROCESS" button. The only better way to start the day is not a family safe topic '-) Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. "This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?" "No, Madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
HER SIDE OF THE STORY He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his house, I said that I love him and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he doesn't say it back or anything. We finally got back to his place and I was wondering if he was going to dump me! So I tried to ask him about it but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to sleep. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and we had sex. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave but I just cried myself to sleep. I dunno, I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else??? HIS SIDE OF THE STORY My team lost. That cost me a bundle! Felt Kinda Tired. Got laid though. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Getting the Most out of Turkey or Chicken Bones To pull the calcium out of chicken or turkey bones, add 1 ounce of vinegar to each quart of water (up to 4 ounces total) when you are making soup stock. It will not give a vinegar taste to the soup but will draw out ALL the nutrients in the bones. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Shirk Report
___________________________________________________ Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I've lost 20 pounds." "Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend. "Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Fatal Things To Say If Your Wife Is Pregnant I finished the Oreos. Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds. Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby! I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever! Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl. Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella. Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt. Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott! I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth? Are your ankles supposed to look like that? Get your *own* ice cream. Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today. Got milk? Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney? Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar! Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water. Your stomach sticks out almost as much as your rear! You don't have the guts to pull that trigger!

Today November 11 in
1620 The Mayflower Compact was signed by the 41 men on the
Mayflower when they landed in what is now Provincetown Harbor
near Cape Cod. The compact called for "just and equal laws." 

1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged in
Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. 

1851 The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark. It had been in
use for a few hundred years, but never patented.

1880 Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged at
the Melbourne jail at age 25. 

1887 Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being
convicted of being connected to a bombing that killed eight
police officers. 

1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany
signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day
in the United States. 

1918 Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of
Germany. 

1920 The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in
Westminster Abbey. The service was recorded with the first
electronic recording process developed by Lionel Guest and H.O.
Merriman. 

1921 The Tomb of the Unknowns was dedicated at Arlington Cemetery
in Virginia by U.S. President Harding. 

1938 Kate Smith first sang Irving Berlin's "God Bless America" on
network radio. 

1940 The Jeep made its debut. 

1942 During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of
France. 

1952 The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin and
Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA. 

1965 The government of Rhodesia declared its independence from
Britain. The country later became known as Zimbabwe. 

1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The craft
circled the Earth 59 times before returning. 

1972 The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the South
Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct
involvement in the Vietnam War by the U.S. military. 

1975 Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from
Portugal. 

1981 Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100-story
John Hancock Center in Chicago in about six hours. 

1981 The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat
Division in Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class submarine.


1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial Fund. 

1984 Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney
transplant in Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age 5. 

1986 Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys," becoming
the second largest computer company. 

1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record 53.9
million dollars in New York. 

1988 Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven bodies
buried on the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea Puente was
later charged in the deaths of nine people, convicted of three
murders and sentenced to life in prison. 

1991 The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16
years to help the nation arrange democratic elections. 

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a
letter that Americans had been held in prison camps after World
War II. Some were "summarily executed," but others were still
living in his country voluntarily. 

1992 The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests. 

1993 Walt Disney Co. announced plans to build a U.S. history
theme park in a Virginia suburb of Washington. The plan was
halted later due to local opposition. 

1993 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was
dedicated to honor the more than 11,000 women who had served in
the Vietnam War. 

1994 In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an
Israeli military checkpoint killing three soldiers. 

1996 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall That
Heals." The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial that would tour communities throughout the United
States. 

1997 The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were laying
off 10,000 employees. 

1998 Jay Cochrane set a record for the longest blindfolded
skywalk. He walked on a tightrope between the towers of the
Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas, NV. The towers are 600 feet apart. 

1998 Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement with
the Palestinians. 

2002 Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates pledged $100 million to fight
AIDS in India. 

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How to remove AdAware 




Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, November 10

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Man arrested for raping 4-year-old, 
Infecting her with Gonorrhea

______________________________________________________
Today, November 10 in
1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David
Livingstone. Livingstone was a missing Scottish missionary 
in central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: 
"Dr. Livingstone, I presume?" 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. --- Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983) "There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers." --- William James ______________________________________________________ John came from San Francisco to Depoe Bay and asked a native, "Say, is this really a healthy place?" "It sure is," the native replied. "When I came here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed." "That's wonderful!" said John. "How long have you been here?" "I was born here." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ I urgently needed a few days off work but I knew the boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'crazy', then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My secretaryt asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, so the Boss might think I was 'crazy' and give me a few days off. A few minutes later, the boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of Sam Hill are you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb. He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.' I jumped down and walked out of the office... When my secretary followed me, the boss asked her, 'And where do you think you're going?!' To which she replied: 'I'm going home too. I can't work in the dark.' ------------ I need a boss like that! _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ "Your Honor, my wife is just being ridiculous. Most women would love to have a husband who still believes in chivalry and I was only opening the door for her out of chivalry." "Mr. Smith," replied the judge, "I am granting the divorce. I cannot believe chivalry was your motivation while driving 65 mph." ______________________________________________________ Tag Team _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Arturo Macarro Gutierrez, 35, St Paul, Minnesota Man arrested for raping 4-year-old, Infecting her with Gonorrhea A Minnesota man is accused of raping his girlfriend’s four-year- old daughter, who tested positive for gonorrhea. Authorities charged Arturo Macarro Gutierrez, 35, with first and second-degree criminal sexual conduct for allegedly sexually assaulting the four-year-old victim at a house in St. Paul on October 28. The four-year-old’s grandmother reported the incident last Wednesday after her granddaughter said Gutierrez pulled down her pants and hurt her. The four-year-old called Gutierrez “daddy,” but the grandmother told authorities he was dating the girl’s mother. The child’s aunt told the grandmother Gutierrez had been making “humping” motions in the bedroom. The victim went to a local hospital, where tests determined she had contracted gonorrhea. A SWAT team executing a search warrant on the residence discovered Gutierrez hiding in the attic. Authorities accused him of sexually assaulting the girl after he also tested positive for gonorrhea. Gutierrez denied hurting the girl, according to a criminal complaint. The 35-year-old has a rap sheet that includes domestic violence charges. Gutierrez made his first court appearance for the sexual assault charges Monday and is due back in court on November 20. From: Tam Re: Removing AdAware Dear Webby Hi and as always thanks for the daily humor. I think I asked you this before, but I need help.. again!! I got McAfee virus protection and it will not let me install it 100% because I have AdAware and can not get to my add/remove program to uninstall it. PLEASE let me know if there is a way I can uninstall that. And any solutions as to why I can not get to add/remove? thanks and have a good day Tam Dear Tam AdAware has been around for ages, and the ad companies have tried all that time to defeat it or to get around it. So they have continuously made it stronger and tougher to defeat. A lot of people have problems with removing AdAware. That is one of the reasons I don't recommend them. Half an hour on Google found this: 1. Click "uninstall Ad-Aware" in the lavasoft folder of your start menu 2. If it does not work, open your control panel, click add/remove programs and locate Ad-Aware SE 3. If it still does not work, locate and run (double-click) the file "unwise.exe" (the .exe might not be shown). It should be found in C:\program files\lavasoft\Ad-Aware SE [Personal/Plus/Professional]\ If that does not work, or if you get a message saying something like "Can't find Install.log," perform a manual uninstall. Do the following: 1. Click on "my computer" and navigate to your Lavasoft Ad-Aware folder (C:\program files\lavasoft\ad-aware \ 2. Run the file unregaaw.exe 3. Delete the entire ad-aware folder 4. Delete your Lavasoft Ad-Aware link in your start menu (if present) 5. Delete the Ad-Aware icon(s) from your desktop(if present) 6. Navigate to C:\Documents and Settings\[User Name]\Application Data\Lavasoft and delete the entire Lavasoft folder. 7. Empty your trash bin 8. Reboot. If you have already deleted unregaaw.exe, try to get it from Lavasoft in Sweden. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
"Pastor," Johnny says, "I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust." "That's right, Johnny, I did." "And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust." "Yes, I'm glad you were listening. Why do you ask?" "Well you better come over to our house right away and look under my bed, 'cause there's someone either comin' or goin'!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Nina: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?? Rosey: Yes, I did, once. He had forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Wrap Gifts Before They Are Found Wrap gifts before you hide them. That way if someone does look for them or accidentally stumble across them, the contents will still be concealed. I try to wrap gifts the day that I buy them. This saves time as Christmas approaches too. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Shirk Report
___________________________________________________ A young and foolish hot-shot pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation radio frequencies. So, this was his first time approaching an airfield during the nighttime. Instead of making any official landing requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?" The tower controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Myrna When my daughter was about 10 years old I became pregnant. Of course, she wanted to know how it happened,so I gave what I considered an appropriate explanation of the process. She asked, "Did you do that and I happened?" I said yes, and she responded, "And in spite of that, you did it again?"

Today November 10 in
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the
Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after the
end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine Corps
were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day is
observed as the birth date of the United States Marine Corps. 

1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of
dueling. 

1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David
Livingstone. Livingstone was a missing Scottish missionary in
central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: "Dr.
Livingstone, I presume?" 

1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White House. 

1919 The American Legion held its first national convention in
Minneapolis, MN. 

1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan. 

1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began when
Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his counterpart
in Alameda, CA. 

1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA. 

1957 102,368 people attended the San Francisco 49ers and Los
Angeles Rams game. The crowd was the largest regular-season crowd
in NFL history. 

1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism. 

1975 The U.N. General Assembly approved a resolution that equated
Zionism with racism. The resolution was repealed in December of
1991. 

1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its crew of
29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior. 

1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been kidnapped in
a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused to pay the cab fare.


1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack at
age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov. 

1982 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial was opened
to visitors. 

1986 Camille Sontag and Marcel Coudari, two Frenchmen were
released by the captors that held them in Lebanon. 

1988 The U.S. Department of Energy announced that Texas would be
the home of the atom-smashing super-collider. The project was
cancelled by a vote of the U.S. Congress in Oct. 1993. 

1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of marital
sexual assault against his wife who sexually mutilated him.
Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of malicious wounding her
husband. 

1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady Bill,
which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases.


1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop enforcing
the arms embargo against the Bosnian government the following
week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to lifting the ban. 

1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the action
would end trade sanctions. 

1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro-Wiwa
along with several other anti-government activists. 

1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after a
massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The disaster
left 24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead. 

1997 WorldCom Inc. acquired MCI Communication Corporation. It was
the largest merger in U.S. history valued at $37 billion. 

1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the murder of
two CIA employees in 1993. 

1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's murder
conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English au pair to
time served. She had served 279 days in the death of 8-month-old
Matthew Eappen. 

2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's membership. 

2018  smiled.


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Letter not showing 




Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, November 9
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Feds charge serial bank robbery suspect 
in Madison Heights, other robberies

______________________________________________________
Today, November 9 in
1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a 
patent on neon advertising signs.
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. --- Doug Larson ______________________________________________________ As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the base where he was working. Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy. This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone. She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor. "Give this to your husband," he said thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. "He's been yelling for it for 15 minutes!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver who needed a tow. He was stranded on a busy highway, but he didn't know the make of the car he was driving. I asked again for a more detailed description beyond a "blue, four-door sedan." "It's the one on fire," he replied. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Kathy "My ten year old daughter asked me what a colon was and I explained that it was a part of the body that food goes through before being eliminated. Then she asked me what a semicolon was and I told her that it was a colon the size of a truck with eighteen wheels." ______________________________________________________ Revenge will be in your shoes! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dajanae Jordan, 23. Grosse Pointe Park, Madison Heights, Michigan Feds charge serial bank robbery suspect in Madison Heights, other robberies A woman accused in a string of bank robberies in Madison Heights and other cities has been named and arraigned in federal court. Police said Dajanae Jordan, 23, of Grosse Pointe Park was charged on bank robbery and attempted bank robbery counts Friday in U.S. District Court in Detroit. We're not charging her locally, said Madison Heights Detective Sgt. Brent LeMerise. The case has been turned over to the feds. Jordan faced a detention hearing Monday afternoon in federal court where her bail will be set. The robberies and attempted robberies first started a couple of weeks ago in Macomb County when authorities said Jordan unsuccessfully tried to rob a Chase Bank in Warren. Jordan used notes that she handed to tellers at all the banks where the robberies and attempted robberies were done, according to police in Oakland and Macomb counties. Other banks included in the string of robberies included an unsuccessful attempt at Vibe Credit Union in Sterling Heights. But police said she was successful in robberies at a Comerica Bank in Macomb Township, a Flagstar Bank on Big Beaver in Troy and a Chase Bank in Madison Heights. The Chase Bank in Madison Heights is located in the Hollywood Market on Campbell Road near 12 Mile and was robbed Oct. 25. Madison Heights police said she handed a male teller a note and threatened to shoot him if he didn't hurry up and she got away with $2,500. Multiple police departments and the FBI were part of the ongoing investigation of the robberies and attempted robberies. They hadn't identified a suspect until police said Jordan returned to the bank in Madison Heights and unsuccessfully tried to rob it again on Halloween. Residents called police and reported a woman matching the suspect's description was running through their yards in a neighborhood near the bank. One of them also saw a car matching the description of a silver car used in the earlier bank robbery. Police said a man in a burgundy Jeep picked up the suspect. Hazel Park police spotted the Jeep heading south on Interstate 75 near Eight Mile Road and finally stopped the vehicle in Detroit. The man driving the Jeep has not been charged and reportedly told police he didn't know Jordan had robbed a bank when he picked her up. From: Joan-Mary Re: Letter not showing Dear Webby The Humor Letter is came through as a blank and only when I hit reply to advise this, did I get to see the column. Respectfully, Joan-Mary Dear Joan-Mary It did arrive and download OK, otherwise hitting Reply later would not have made a difference, and it showed OK for all other subscribers. Check the settings in your email program. If you tell me which email program you use, I can investigate further. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
From a passenger ship one can just barely see a bearded man on a small island in the distance who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. "Who is that?" a passenger asked a passing steward. "I've no idea. Every year when we pass by, he goes nuts."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A rancher goes to the bank to borrow money to buy a bull so he can increase his stock. The transaction is made and the banker who lent the money comes by a week later to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won't even look at the cows. The banker suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull. The next week the banker returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer looks very pleased: "The bull has taken care of all my cows, broke through the fence, and has even serviced all my neighbor's cows!" "Wow," says the banker, "what did the vet do to that bull?" "Just gave him some pills," replied the farmer. "What kind of pills?" asked the banker. "I don't know, but they sort of taste like peppermint." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Breaking Up a Dog Fight The best way to break up a dog fight is to throw water on the dogs. This will usually startle the dogs enough to stop the fighting. Breaking up a dog fight with your hands can be very dangerous as you are liable to get bit or scratched. In winter, when thawed out water may be hard to come by, gonging them with an empty plastic 5 gallon pail usually gets their attention, especially if it is the same pail that you use to feed them. It may look cruel, but is a lot better than letting them kill or injure each other. DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
15 secretive places you can now see on Google Earth.
___________________________________________________ >From Merlin All my relatives know that I refold the wrapping paper from my Christmas presents for reuse later. "Auntie," asked one of my young nieces, "why do you save all that paper?" "I'm doing what's best for the environment," I replied. "So I'm recycling." "Good thing you didn't ask that question five years ago," my daughter interrupted. "Then she was just plain cheap." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Seen on a bumper sticker: A Lesbian is a mannish depressive with delusions of gender.

Today November 9 in
1857 The "Atlantic Monthly" first appeared on newsstands and
featured the first installment of "The Autocrat of the Breakfast
Table" by Oliver Wendell Holmes. 

1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA. 

1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see the
progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip by a
U.S. president. 

1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent on neon
advertising signs. 

1918 Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II announced he would abdicate. He
then fled to the Netherlands. 

1923 In Munich, the Beer Hall Putsch was crushed by German troops
that were loyal to the democratic government. The event began the
evening before when Adolf Hitler took control of a beer hall full
of Bavarian government leaders at gunpoint. 

1935 United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis and other labor
leaders formed the Committee for Industrial Organization. 

1938 Nazi troops and sympathizers destroyed and looted 7,500
Jewish businesses, burned 267 synagogues, killed 91 Jews, and
rounded up over 25,000 Jewish men in an event that became known
as Kristallnacht or "Night of Broken Glass." 

1953 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a 1922 ruling that major
league baseball did not come within the scope of federal
antitrust laws. 

1961 Major Robert White flew an X-15 rocket plane at a world
record speed of 4,093 mph. 

1961 The Professional Golfer's Association (PGA) eliminated its
"caucasians only" rule. 

1963 In Japan, about 450 miners were killed in a coal-dust
explosion. 

1963 In Japan, 160 people died in a train crash. 

1965 The great Northeast blackout occurred as several states and
parts of Canada were hit by a series of power failures lasting up
to 13 1/2 hours. 

1967 A Saturn V rocket carrying an unmanned Apollo spacecraft
blasted off from Cape Kennedy on a successful test flight. 

1976 The U.N. General Assembly approved ten resolutions
condemning the apartheid government in South Africa. 

1979 The United Nations Security Council unanimously called upon
Iran to release all American hostages "without delay." Militants,
mostly students had taken 63 Americans hostage at the U.S.
embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4.

1981 U.S. troops began arriving in Egypt for a three-week Rapid
Deployment Force excercise. Somalia, Sudan and Oman were also
involved in the operation. 

1981 The Internation Monetary Fund approved a $5.8 billion loan
to India. It was the highest loan to date. 

1982 Sugar Ray Leonard retired from boxing. In 1984 Leonard came
out of retirement to fight one more time before becoming a boxing
commentator for NBC. 

1984 A bronze statue titled "Three Servicemen," by Frederick
Hart, was unveiled at the site of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial
in Washington, DC. 

1989 Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing its
citizens to travel freely to West Germany. 

1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a non-
aggression treaty with Germany. 

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin, visiting London, appealed
for assistance in rescheduling his country's debt, and asked
British businesses to invest. 

1998 A federal judge in New York approved the richest antitrust
settlement in U.S. history. A leading brokerage firm was ordered
to pay $1.03 billion to investors who had sued over price-rigging
of Nasdaq stocks. 

2004 U.S. First Lady Laura Bush officially reopened Pennsylvania
Avenue in front of the White House to pedestrians.

2018  smiled.


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