Sundays in an Excel spreadsheet graph 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, December 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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Today's Bonehead Award AND a Darwin Award goes to a Floriduh burglar, who fed himself to an alligator Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 10, in 1520 - Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The papacy demanded that he recant or face excommunication. Luther refused and was formally expelled from the church in January 1521. 1845 - British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the first pneumatic tires. History ______________________________________________________ The Swedish Christmas Goat in Gaevle is up and the web cam is online live at http://m.visitgavle.se/sv/gavlebocken The webcam is at the top. ______________________________________________________ It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. --- Mark Twain "It's not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted." --- Mary O'Connor ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ As usual, Hank was working a few hours extra after the rest of the staff had gone home. Just before he too left, his secretary called him and asked him to give her a lift home because she had a drink too many at the bar across the street from the office. He gladly did and congratulated her on having enough sense to not drive herself when impaired. Although nothing happened in the car, same as nothing happened between him and his secretary at the office, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who was more than jealous enough without any provocation or reason. Later that night Hank was drivng his wife to a baby shower party when he spotted a high-heeled shoe hidden under the passenger seat. Pointing to something out the passenger window to distract his wife, he picked up the shoe and tossed it out of his window. When they arrived a short time later and she was about to get out of the car, she asked, "Honey, have you seen my other shoe?" ______________________________________________________ Overheard after church, one young teen girl to another: `I got tired of being fouled all the time and the official not calling on those cretins. Then this humongous girl elbowed me and knocked me down. Well, I was fed up. I got up and I decked her. Of course, I got sent out. So I'm sitting there and this girl on my team comes up to me and says, "I'm Baptist and I just wanted to let you know that God will forgive you for hitting that girl.". Then I said to her, "Well, I'm Presbyterian and `MY God' knows she deserved that!".' ______________________________________________________ Heirloom Big Book Of Classic Christmas Stories 2nd Edition with more stories and pictures $10 instant download ______________________________________________________ Gaevle Goat in Sweden, clip from the webcam ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Lillemor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Matthew Riggins, 22, Brevard County Floriduh
Floriduh burglar fed himself to an alligator A suspected burglar jumped into a Florida lake apparently hiding from law enforcement before an 11-foot alligator killed him, investigators said Monday. His hand and foot reportedly turned up inside the animal's stomach. Brevard County Sheriff's Maj. Tod Goodyear says 22-year- old Matthew Riggins told his girlfriend he would be in Barefoot Bay to commit burglaries with another suspect. Authorities received calls Nov. 13 about two suspicious men in black walking behind homes and investigated. Riggins was reported missing the next day. Goodyear said sheriff's divers recovered Riggins' body 10 days later in a nearby lake, and that the injuries suggested the alligator had pulled him below the surface. "He hid in the wrong place," resident Laura Farris told Bay News 9. Authorities said Riggins drowned and the alligator, which behaved aggressively toward divers, was trapped and euthanized. Florida Today reports a second person was taken into custody.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Eloise Re: Spreadsheet Sunday Dear Webby, You know more about spreadsheets than my professor does, and you don't contradict yourself twice a minute. I followed your instructions for the lady who wanted a spreadsheet with graph for her weight without any problem, and even dressed it up nice and colorful. Now I wanted a bar to indicate Sundays. The professor got all flustered and told me it was a dumb idea to watch my weight differently on Sundays. I guess he didn't know. Can you please tell me? Thanks Eloise Dear Eloise At the top of the next free column, for example D, paste: =IF(WEEKDAY(A1,1)=1,25,"") What that does is IF the date in A1 is a day 1 (Sunday) then put 25 into D1, otherwise put nothing in there. Copy that down colund D as far as you want. Weekday (A1,1) checks the date in A1, and uses schedule 1 which has Sunday as day 1. The IF wrapped around that checks if we get a 1 (Sunday), and if we do, it puts a 25 into that cell, IF not, then it puts nothing into that cell. "" is nothing. If you were checking for a Saturday, you would use 7 =IF(WEEKDAY(A1,1)=7,25,"") In the graph, right-click, Source Data, add a series. Smear Column D as far down as the other columns, hit ENTEr, and all Sundays have a bar from 0 to 25. Right-click one of them and give it a nice Sunday color. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A hunter in Africa ran across a pigmy standing next to a huge dead elephant. The hunter then asked, "How does a little guy like you kill a huge beast like that?" Said the pigmy, "My club did it." The astonished hunter asked, "How big is your club?" The pigmy replied, "There are about 60 of us." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Potato Peel Crisps My husband calls this the epitome of Thriftyfun recipes. When you peel your potatoes, don't throw out the skins. Instead, make this super easy, super yummy appetizer. It only takes a few ingredients. As a bonus, potato skins contain all the best health benefits, packed with B vitamins, vitamin C, potassium and calcium. Score! Approximate Time: 25 minutes Ingredients: leftover potato peels 1 tsp oil salt, pepper (any seasonings you like) 1 Tbsp Parmesan cheese chives (optional) Steps: Preheat oven to 400°F. I use my toaster oven. Toss skins, oil and seasonings together and lay in a thin layer on a cookie sheet. Bake for 20 minutes. I like to broil them for a few minutes at the end to get the super crispy! Remove, sprinkle with Parmesan and optional chives. So good! By attosa [145] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Selma and Irving receive an invitation in the mail. Since it had been many years since they were invited anywhere, they read it with glee, very excited that they were asked to attend a wedding. Everything looked fine, until they read the last line on the invitation. Confused, Irving asks Selma, "Selma, vat does this 'RSVP' mean?" Selma was at a loss and simply could not remember. Finally, she cries out: "Vait! I remember! I remember! RSVP! It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present!" ___________________________________________________
Walking on air One of my favorite Christmas videos
____________________________________________________ David told me he overheard a couple of guys talking about scary things. Guy #1: "You'll never believe this. If you play an AOL 7.0 CD *backwards* you can hear all kinds of evil and Satanic messages!" Guy #2: "That's nothing. If you play it forwards, it installs AOL !" ____________________________________________________ >from dteeple A Hotel guest calls the Front desk and the clerk answers, "May I help you?" The man says, "Yes, I'm in room 858. You need to send someone to my room immediately. I'm having an argument with my wife and she says she's going to jump out the window." The desk clerk says, "I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal matter." The man replies, "Listen, the window won't open... and that's a maintenance matter." ____________________________________________________
I never thought of carving bananas!

Today, December 10, in
1520 - Martin Luther publicly burned the papal edict. The papacy 
 demanded that he recant or face excommunication. Luther refused 
 and was formally expelled from the church in January 1521. 
1845 - British civil engineer Robert Thompson patented the first 
 pneumatic tires. 
1869 - Women were granted the right to vote in Wyoming. 
1898 - A treaty was signed in Paris that officially ended the 
 Spanish-American War. Also, Cuba became independent of Spain. 
1906 - U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt became the first 
 American to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for helping 
 mediate an end to the Russo-Japanese War. 
1941 - Japan invaded the Philippines. 
1941 - The Royal Naval battleships Prince of Wales and Repulse 
 were sunk by Japanese aircraft in the Battle of Malaya. 
1948 - The United Nations General Assembly adopted its 
 Universal Declaration on Human Rights. 
1953 - Hugh Hefner published the first "Playboy" magazine 
 with an investment of $7,600. 
1958 - The first domestic passenger jet flight took place in 
 the U.S. when 111 passengers flew from New York to Miami 
 on a National Airlines Boeing 707. 
1964 - In Oslo, Norway, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. received 
 the Nobel Peace Prize. 
1982 - The Law of the Sea Convention was signed by 118 countries 
 in Montego Bay, Jamaica. 23 nations and the U.S. were excluded. 
1983 - Raul Alfonsin was inaugurated as Argentina's first 
 civilian president after nearly eight years of military rule. 
1984 - South African Bishop Desmond Tutu received the 
 Nobel Peace Prize. 
1990 - The U.S. Food & Drug Administration approved Norplant, 
 a long-acting contraceptive implant. 
1992 - Oregon Senator Bob Packwood apologized for what he 
 called "unwelcome and offensive" actions toward women. 
 However, he refused to resign. 
1993 - The crew of the space shuttle Endeavor deployed the 
 repaired Hubble Space Telescope into Earth's orbit. 
1994 - Advertising executive Thomas Mosser of North Caldwell, 
 NJ, was killed by a mail bomb that was blamed on the 
 Unabomber. 
1995 - The first U.S. Marines arrived in the Bosnian capital 
 of Sarajevo to join NATO soldiers sent to enforce peace in 
 the former Yugoslavia. 
1996 - South Africa's President Mandela signed into law a new 
 democratic constitution, completing the country's transition 
 from white-minority rule to a non-racial democracy. 
1998 - Six astronauts opened the doors to the new international 
 space station 250 miles above the Earth's surface. 
1998 - The Palestinian leadership scrapped constitutional 
 clauses that rejected Israel's existence. 
1999 - After three years under suspicion of being a spy for 
 China, computer scientist Wen Ho Lee was arrested. He was 
 charged with removing secrets from the Los Alamos weapons lab. 
 Lee later pled guilty to one count of downloading restricted 
 data to tape and was freed. The other 58 counts were dropped. 
2003 - The U.S. barred firms based in certain countries, 
 opponents of the Iraq war, from bidding on Iraqi 
 reconstruction projects. The ban did not prevent companies 
 from winning subcontracts. 
2007 - Cristina Fernandez was sworn in as Argentina's first 
 elected female president. 
2015  smiled.


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Cox net not delivering newsletters 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, December 9

Thank you, Frank!!!
Thank You, Jim!


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Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Drunken Saudi tourist, who exposed himself, spilled cocaine on Aspen taxi driver Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 9, in 1854 Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem, "The Charge of the Light Brigade," was published in England. History ______________________________________________________ It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. --- Alfred Adler (1870 - 1937) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Lillemor Don't loan your tools I woke up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night (as I often do) and I noticed a diaper-headed individual with a knife, sneaking through my next door neighbor's garden. Suddenly my neighbor came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel a few times, killing him quite thoroughly. He then dug a grave, put the body in it and covered it. Astonished, I got back into bed. As I tossed and turned my wife said, "You're upset, what is it?" “You'll never believe what I've just seen,” I said. “That SOB next door still has my shovel.” ______________________________________________________ While walking in the park one morning, Bill found a couple of brand new golf balls by a bench. They obviously must have fallen out of a pocket or bag when somebody rested there the day before. "Waste not, Want not" he thought as he slipped the balls into the pocket of his shorts, intending to give them to a co-worker who was a golf nut. Later, on his way home, he stopped at a pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to him saw the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?" she asked,... with her eyes gleaming lustfully. "Golf balls," he replied. "Oh," said the girl sympathetically, "that must be painful.... I had tennis elbow once!"
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Majed Alhamad, 23, Los Angeles, California
Drunken Saudi tourist exposed himself, spilled cocaine on Aspen taxi driver A Saudi Arabian man allegedly cursed an Aspen taxi driver and exposed himself to the man before spilling cocaine on him during a ride to the St. Regis Hotel last weekend, according to court documents. Majed Alhamad, 23, later admitted he was intoxicated and told Aspen police officers “he wanted to go ‘extreme’ while in Aspen,” according to an affidavit filed in District Court on Friday. The 60-year-old driver for High Mountain Taxi told police that Alhamad — whose booking sheet lists him as a student in Los Angeles — offered him cocaine “a number of times” on the ride early Friday morning to the St. Regis, but the driver refused, the affidavit states. “(The driver) stated this angered Alhamad,” according to the affidavit written by an Aspen police officer. “(The driver) said that Alhamad used vulgar language and derogatory racial terms ... and ‘f---ing American’ while in the vehicle.” The taxi driver also said Alhamad “exposed his genitals to him” and “opened the baggie of cocaine and spilled it on him,” the affidavit states. “(The driver) stated that he did not want anything to happen to the individual but felt the need to report the incident to law enforcement,” according to the officer’s affidavit. When officers spoke with Alhamad and his friend, a sergeant recognized them because he’d helped them get a taxi back to their hotel earlier in the night. Alhamad admitted to buying the cocaine for $100 from someone on the street he didn’t know, the affidavit states. “Alhamad stated he knew it was not real cocaine and stated it was baby powder,” according to the affidavit. “I asked Alhamad how he knew it was not cocaine and he said it smelled like baby powder and he had done cocaine in the past.” An officer tested the cocaine baggie and received a “presumptive positive” on it for cocaine, according to the affidavit. Alhamad admitted to using derogatory words toward the driver but said he didn’t spill the white powder on him, according to the affidavit. The officer wrote that Alhamad smelled of alcohol. “Alhamad said he wanted to go ‘extreme’ while in Aspen but will have to pay for this incident,” the affidavit states. Alhamad was charged with felony possession of cocaine and harassment. If he ever goes back to Saudi Arabia, he is likely to face dire consequences.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Ghostery Dear Webby, Now I have a BIG problem with receiving your daily newsletter. I've not received it the last 4 - 5 days. I utilize Mailwasher and have for years. Your newsletter is flagged as 'never mark for delete'. Late last week I installed the following.... https://www.ghostery.com/ and checked the column to block at 'trackers' because I get tired of seeing all the ads, etc. I don't know how that would stop mail from going to the Cox server but I'm not a genius about those things. I'm getting emails from friends and since I don't do much on line shopping I cannot tell whether or not businesses are blocked. The last business email was from Amazon on Dec. 4 about the same time I installed the program. I'm able to see you newsletter and vote daily but I do like to get my personal edition. If I need to delete ghostery.com I will but it has been nice not to get all that junk. Perhaps I can accept some tracking but I don't know which to change and which to keep. Need your assistance if possible. If you feel it is my ISP how do I go about getting their co-operation and have any others with a Cox.net ISP complained. How will I know if you respond IF my ISP has blocked your address? Perhaps a note in Wednesdays letter would tell me. Peace Frank Dear Frank You are in the list, and your personalized newsletter goes out towards you every night. Ghostery is mostly a tracking system reporting on you, and does a bit of cookie control to make you think it is a benefit to you. Unlike Malwarebytes it does not stop real malware. If you want to dump cookies, CrapCleaner has done that quite nicely for fifteen years, maybe more, without any snooping or reporting whatsoever. However, Ghostery just reports on your browsing to the advertising industry. I don't see how it would interfere with your email. Browsing and email are totally separate, like highways are separate from railroads. If your email stopped on the same day as you attached the Ghostery snoop&report add-on, that is probably just a coincidence. Have a look in the MailWasher Recycle Bin. If the Humor Letter is NOT in there, then it got dumped before it ever got to you. In that case, pitch a temper tantrum at your ISP. Please tell me if and when you get this letter. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared. "Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now." The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime. "Well, you see, my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong, would go outside and take a walk. By the time Jenny died thirtyfive years ago, my walks had become a habit and it was no big deal to keep them up." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cook Frozen Dinner Rolls in the Microwave Just like many of the other foods I warm daily in the microwave, frozen dinner rolls are great hot out of the microwave as well. I have the highest wattage microwave and, on thirty seconds, these yeast rolls are hit and ready to be enjoyed. Note that they will be very hot when coming out of the microwave, so exercise due caution as you would with any other food coming out of the microwave. By Robyn [373] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Sarah's car was unreliable and she called Sam for a ride every time it broke down. One day Sam got yet another one of those calls. "What happened this time?" he asked. "My brakes went out," Sarah said. "Can you come to get me?" "Where are you?" Sam asked. "I'm in the drugstore," Sarah responded. "And where's the car?" Sam asked. Sarah replied, "It's in here with me." ___________________________________________________
Twelve Days of Christmas (funny)
____________________________________________________ It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising on the net) were the main reason for the long line that formed in front of the store by 8:30, the store's opening time. A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curses. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw by a slightly overweight lady, knocked around a bit, and then thrown to the end of the line again. As he got up the second time, he said to the person at the end of the line, "That does it! If they hit me one more time, I'm not opening the store!" ____________________________________________________ Children are natural mimics, who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. ____________________________________________________
Canadian artist Calvin Nicholls creates extraordinary 3D sculptures using paper.

Today, December 9, in
1793 "The American Minerva" was published for the first time. 
 It was the first daily newspaper in New York City and was 
 founded by Noah Webster. 
1854 Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem, "The Charge of the Light Brigade," 
 was published in England. 
1879 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Ore Milling Company. 
1884 Levant M. Richardson received a patent for the ball-bearing 
 roller skate. 
1907 Christmas Seals went on sale for the first time, in the 
 Wilmington, DE, post office. 
1914 The Edison Phonograph Works was destroyed by fire. 
1917 Turkish troops surrendered Jerusalem to British troops led 
 by Viscount Allenby. 
1940 During World War II, British troops opened their first 
 major offensive in North Africa. 
1940 The Longines Watch Company signed for the first FM radio 
 advertising contract with experimental station W2XOR in 
 New York City. 
1941 China declared war on Japan, Germany and Italy. 
1955 Sugar Ray Robinson knocked out Carl Olson and regained 
 his world middleweight boxing title. 
1958 In Indianapolis, IN, Robert H.W. Welch Jr. and 11 other 
 men met to form the anti-Communist John Birch Society. 
1960 Sperry Rand Corporation unveiled a new computer known 
 as "Univac 1107." 
1960 The first episode of "Coronation Street" was screened 
 on ITV. 
1962 "Lawrence of Arabia" by David Lean had its world 
 premiere in London. 
1975 U.S. President Gerald R. Ford signed a $2.3 billion 
 seasonal loan authorization to prevent New York City from 
 having to default. 
1978 The first game of the Women's Pro Basketball League 
 (WBL) was played between the Chicago Hustle and the 
 Milwaukee Does. 
1985 In Argentina, five former military junta members 
 received sentences in prison for their roles in the 
 "dirty war" in which nearly 9,000 people had "disappeared." 
1987 West Bank Palestinians launched an intifada (uprising) 
 against Israeli occupation. 
1987 In the Gaza Strip, an Israeli patrol attacked the 
 Jabliya refugee camp. 
1990 Lech Walesa won Poland's first direct presidential 
 election in the country's history. 
1990 Slobodan Milosovic was elected president in Serbia's 
 first free elections in 50 years. 
1990 The first American hostages to be released by Iraq 
 began arriving in the U.S. 
1991 European Community leaders agreed to begin using a 
 single currency in 1999. 
1992 Britain's Prince Charles and Princess Diana announced 
 their separation. 
1992 Clair George, former CIA spy chief, was convicted of 
 lying to the U.S. Congress about the Iran-Contra affair. 
 U.S. President George H.W. Bush later pardoned George. 
1992 U.S. troops arrived in Mogadishu, Somalia, to oversee 
 delivery of international food aid. 
1993 The U.S. Air Force destroyed the first of 500 
 Minuteman II missile silos that were marked for 
 elimination under an arms control treaty.
1993 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavor completed 
 repairs to the Hubble Space Telescope. 
1993 At Princeton University in New Jersey, scientists 
 produced a controlled fusion reaction equivalent to 
 3 million watts. 
1994 Representatives of the Irish Republican Army and the 
 British government opened peace talks in Northern Ireland. 
1996 UN Secretary General Boutros-Ghali approved a deal 
 allowing Iraq to resume its exports of oil and easing the 
 UN trade embargo imposed on Iraq in 1990. 
1999 The U.S. announced that it was expelling a Russian 
 diplomat that had been caught gathering information with 
 an eavesdropping device at the U.S. State Department. 
2002 United Airlines filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy after 
 losing $4 billion in the previous two years. It was the 
 sixth largest bankruptcy filing. 
2003 In Australia, thieves broke into a home and stole two 
 300-year-old etchings by Rembrandt. The 4-by-4-inch etchings, 
 a self-portait and a depiction of the artist's mother, were 
 valued around $518,000. 
2015  smiled.


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Quality color laser printer, that is not expensive 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, December 8

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Kansas armed robber, who killed a store owner, and claimed he was entitled to 'self-defense' Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 8, in 1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate Conception. The theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus, was free of original sin from the moment she was conceived. History ______________________________________________________ When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision. --- Lord Falkland (1610 - 1643) Confusion is always the most honest response. --- Marty Indik ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ There was a young Scottish boy called Angus who decided to try life in Australia. He found an apartment in a small block and settled in. After a week or two, his mother called from Aberdeen to see how her son was doing in his new life. 'I'm fine, ' Angus said. 'But there are some really weird people living in these apartments. One woman cried all day long, another lies on her floor moaning, and there is a guy next door to me who bangs his head on the wall all the time.' 'Well, ma laddie,' says his mother, 'I suggest you don't associate with people like that.' 'Oh,' says Angus, 'I don't, Mam, I don't. No, I just stay inside me apartment all day and night, playing me bagpipes.' ______________________________________________________ Homonyms are similar sounding words, and they CAN be clean ones, like Soap and Hope. As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, "Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset." She wrote at the bottom of the page, "You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it's time to learn the difference." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Lillemor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by De’Anthony A. Wiley, 20, Shawnee, Kansas
Armed robber kills store owner, claims he was entitled to 'self-defense' The widow of a Kansas gun-shop owner killed in a violent shootout with four armed robbers in January doesn't mince words when it comes to the issue of guns and the role they play in self-defense. “The fact of the matter is, society has gotten to the point where we have to defend ourselves," Becky Bieker to KCTV-TV. De’Anthony A. Wiley claims he had no choice and was entitled to return fire in "self-defense" while trying to flee the ensuing gun battle with the store's owner, Jon Bieker. Court papers filed on Thursday by Wiley's attorney seek protection by statutory immunity against his felony murder charge, reports WDAF-TV. Wiley claims after he communicated his intent to surrender, Bieker continued firing upon him and his three accomplices. Court papers say Wiley was shot in the spine and paralyzed, leaving him unable to escape. Wiley's attorney argues because he exhausted reasonable means to escape, he was entitled to use deadly force in self-defense. Prosecutors say Wiley and his cohorts plotted for several days before entering "She's a Pistol", which specializes in providing personal protection items for women. The men apparently thought Becky Bieker was working alone when they pointed a gun at her and started shouting demands. They punched her, breaking her nose. One of the men jumped over the counter to stuff a backpack with guns. They didn't see Jon Bieker in the back room. Surveillance video captured the entire gun battle inside the store. As Becky falls to the floor, Jon bursts from the back firing his weapon. Jon managed to shoot all three of the suspects. One of the injured suspects fled along with the getaway driver. Wiley remained in the store and continued to exchange gunfire with Jon, who was killed when a bullet pierced his aorta. Becky regained her composure and emptied her weapon into Wiley, critically injuring him. Prosecutors said Wiley, who has admitted robbing the store, was identified on the surveillance tape as the man who killed Jon. His co-defendants, Hakeem Malik, Londro Patterson and Niquan Midgyett, have pleaded not guilty and will stand trial on charges that include first-degree murder. Police believe the men were also behind a string of convenience store armed robberies in the area in the weeks before the shootout, reported KCTV-TV. Wiley's defense lawyers responded by filing the bombshell motion that he was "entitled to use deadly force" against the Biekers. The claim reads in part: “… Wiley, withdrew from any physical confrontation with the Biekers and he specifically communicated his intent to surrender to Jon Bieker. Despite that communication, Mr. Bieker continued to advance and/or fire upon the defendant and the codefendants. The defendant was shot in the spine and paralyzed, herefore unable to further escape. As such, the defendant was entitled to use force to protect himself."
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ric Re: Laser printer for home business Dear Webby, Tech question: can you recommend a color laser printer (wireless)for home/small bussiness? And nor break the bank? Thank you, Ric Dear Ric I would recommend the DELL C1760nw It has WiFi and color and is good for 30,000 pages per month. It sells for $199, plus shipping. DELL C1760nw If quality is not important, and if you don't mind toner cost to be more than the printer, check out your local Staples store and see what they got on Special. Last time I was there they had a Brother color laser for $149, and the toner for it $249. Keep in mind, printers usually ship with near empty toner cartridges, and you will need new ones very soon. If you have an old Multi-Function ink squirter, don't heave it into the dumpster. Most likely you can use the scanner and fax function for another ten years. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ So if the world is truly getting "smaller", how come the US Postal rates keep going up? ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Rice with Half the Calories I've read about this on multiple platforms and just saw it on TV again, so I thought I would share this method with you. Scientists have proven that by simply cooking your rice with some coconut oil, it changes the rice's digestible starch to indigestible starch, which prevents much of the rice from being metabolized into glucose, cutting the calories by about 60%. That's huge! The only difference is, you must let it sit in the fridge before you eat it. Here's what you need: 1 cup white rice 2 tsp. coconut oil 1 3/4 cups water Bring water to a boil in a pot. Add coconut oil and rice to pot. Cover, lower heat, and cook for 20 to 25 minutes. Let rice cool, then chill in the fridge for at least 12 hours. Reheat before serving. Source: Many, many internet searches and TV shows. ThriftyFun Note: Here is an article with information about the scientific research. http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/ ... 021915.php By attosa [144] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The student - not necessarily a well-prepared student - sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: "Give four advantages of breast milk." What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best: 1. No need to boil. 2. Cats can't steal it. 3. Available whenever necessary. Um. So far so good - maybe. But the exam demanded a four-part answer. Again, what to write? Once more he sighed. He frowned. He scowled. Then sighed again. But suddenly, he brightened. He grabbed his pen, and triumphantly he scribbled his definitive answer: 4. Available in attractive containers. ___________________________________________________
Sent by Lillemor: When the lights go out
____________________________________________________ Imelda reported for her University PHD final examination which consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on. "I finished the exam in half and hour. But, she says, I am rechecking my answers, and half of them are wrong !" ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: Andy Rooney On Cripes: "My wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like 'Cripes'. 'For Cripe's sake.' Who would that be, Jesus Cripes? The son of 'Gosh' of the church of 'Holy Moly'? I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'?" ____________________________________________________
These artists create something beautiful with canvas.

Today, December 8, in
1776 George Washington's retreating army in the American 
 Revolution crossed the Delaware River from New Jersey to 
 Pennsylvania. 
1854 Pope Pius IX proclaimed the dogma of the Immaculate 
 Conception. The theory holds that Mary, mother of Jesus, 
 was free of original sin from the moment she was conceived. 
1863 Tom King of England defeated American John Heenan and 
 became the first world heavyweight champion. 
1941 The United States entered World War II when it declared 
 war against Japan. The act came one day after the Japanese 
 attacked Pearl Harbor. Britain and Canada also declared war 
 on Japan. 
1949 The Chinese Nationalist government moved from the Chinese 
 mainland to Formosa due to Communists pressure. 
1953 Los Angeles became the third largest city in the US. 
1980 Zimbabwe’s manpower minister, Edgar Tekere, was found 
 guilty in the killing of a white farmer. He was freed under 
 a law that protected ministers acting to suppress terrorism. 
1982 Norman D. Mayer demanding an end to nuclear weapons held 
 the Washington Monument hostage. He threatened to blow it up 
 with explosives he claimed were inside a van. 10 hours later 
 he was shot to death by police. 
1984 In Roanoke, Virginia, a jury found Hustler magazine 
 publisher Larry Flynt innocent of libeling Reverend Jerry 
 Falwell with a parody advertisement. However Falwell was 
 awarded $200,000 for emotional distress. 
1987 The "intefadeh" (Arabic for uprising) by Palestinians in 
 the Israeli-occupied territories began. 
1989 Communist leaders in Czechoslovakia offered to surrender 
 their control over the government and accept a minority role 
 in a coalition Cabinet. 
1991 Russia, Byelorussia and Ukraine declared the Soviet 
 national government to be dead. They forged a new alliance 
 to be known as the Commonwealth of Independent States. The 
 act was denounced by Russian President Gorbachev as 
 unconstitutional. 
1992 Americans got to see live television coverage of U.S. 
 troops landing on the beaches of Somalia during Operation 
 Restore Hope.
1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the North American 
 Free Trade Agreement. 
1994 Bosnian Serbs released dozens of hostage peacekeepers, 
 but continued to detain about 300 others. 
1994 In Los Angeles, 12 alternate jurors were chosen for the 
 O.J. Simpson murder trial. 
1997 The second largest bank was created with the announcement 
 that Union Bank Switzerland and the Swiss Bank Corporation would 
 merge. The combined assets were more than $590 billion. 
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police could not search a 
 person or their cars after ticketing for a routine traffic 
 violation. 
1998 The FBI opened its files on Frank Sinatra to the public. The 
 file contained over 1,300 pages. 
1998 AT&T Corp. announced that it was buying IBM's data networking 
 business for $5 billion cash. 
1998 The first female ice hockey game in Olympic history was played. 
 Finland beat Sweden 6-0. 
1999 In Memphis, TN, a jury found that Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. 
 had been the victim of a vast murder conspiracy, not a lone assassin. 
1999 Russia and Belarus agreed in principle to form an economic and 
 political confederation. 
2000 Mario Lemieux announced to the Pittsburgh Penguins that he 
 planned to return to the National Hockey League (NHL) as a player 
 at age 35. He would be the first modern owner-player in 
 U.S. pro sports. 
2015  smiled.


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Why ignore the bottom part of a graph 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, December 8

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Illinois man, who punched his girlfriend, hid in vacant apartment, blocked jail cell toilet and masturbated Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 7, in 1926 The gas operated refrigerator was patented by The Electrolux Servel Corporation. History ______________________________________________________ A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. --- Joey Adams ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ During the cold war we had a series of radar sites known as the "Distant Early Warning" system or "DEW" line, a string of big huge radar stations in Northern Canada, powerful enough to microwave a goose at 5 Miles, advanced enough to look over the North Pole into Russia, accurate enough to tell the difference between a thrown rolling pin and a missile. Gradually the satellites took over the surveillance job and the DEW line got abandoned and just sat there rusting away quietly. Only recently some contractors were sent up there to dismantle the sites and bury or cart away the remains. One mechanic stationed there asked his buddy at home to arrange a date for him when he got leave. The buddy did so, but told the girl that she'd better be careful, as the guy had been working on the DEW line for 6 months. She replied, "No problem. I've been working on my 'DON'T line' for six years." ______________________________________________________ Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money." The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute, Susan. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the value of the barn just before it burned, and provide you with a new one of comparable worth, up to a maximum of fifty thousand dollars." There was a long pause before Susan replied, "In THAT case, I'd like to cancel the policy on my husband RIGHT friendly NOW!" ______________________________________________________ Aetna smoking without a permit ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Lillemor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Matthew Campus, 23, Wilmington, Illinois
Illinois man punched girlfriend, hid in vacant apartment, blocked jail cell toilet and masturbated A Wilmington man started Thanksgiving morning by punching his girlfriend and hiding out from the cops in an empty apartment, then blocked up his holding cell toilet with clothes, masturbated, tried to escape from a moving squad car and bit an officer, police said. By early afternoon, 23-year-old Matthew Campus had ended up in the Will County jail. He appeared in court Friday morning but his bond information was not available. Officers were sent to Campus’ County Road home and spoke to his girlfriend, who reportedly said he punched her several times “during an argument over alcohol.” Campus’ sister witnessed the attack, police said. Campus hid out in a vacant apartment in his building, police said, but he was hunted down by two officers. The cops carted Campus off to the police station but once he got there, he “started threatening officers and their families with physical violence,” police said. “While being placed into a holding room Campus spit on the officers. Once in the holding room Campus removed his clothing and began to masturbate and continued to make threats to the officers. Campus then packed some of his clothing into the toilet of the holding room and attempted to flood the room.” At this point, the cops loaded Campus into a squad car so they could take him over to the county jail. “While being transported, Campus attempted to escape by breaking a portion of the prisoner transport partition and trying to climb to the rear storage area and door hatch on Route 53 in Elwood,” police said. “The Elwood Police Department responded to assist.” At the jail, “Campus continued to threaten officers and deputies,” police said, and he was taken to Presence St. Joseph Medical Center. “Campus continued to be aggressive towards paramedics and medical staff, using profanities and spitting on them and officers,” police said. “Campus damaged equipment at the medical center and bit a police officer.” Campus was returned to jail after a brief stay at the hospital.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lynn Re: Why not show lower 130 in graph? Dear Webby, Who told you about my lower 130? Just kidding. I don't understand why deduct the 130 and not show it in the graph. What is the reasoning behind that? Wouldn't that distort the graph? Lynn Dear Lynn There is no change in the lower 130, so we can ignore that. It is as if you were simply covering up that part of the graph and only looked at the top. By only looking at the changing tops, and stretching the colums in the graph so that the few pounds of change are stretched the full height of the graph, you see the actual changes greatly and equally emphasized. 4 - 5 pounds change are a tiny wiggle of 150, but a significant jump of 20. That is all we are doing. We justb cover up the bottom 130 and zoom the upper balance to the full height of the graph. Unlike what the Gullible Warming grant recipients do, who can't predict next Tuesday's weather but claim the polar ice caps will melt in 2050 unless they get more grant money, you simply zoom onto and visualize the changes. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ How can you tell if people are married ? "You might have to guess based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Very Easy Poached Egg This is a very easy way to poach an egg in one minute that turns out perfect every time. Approximate Time: 90 seconds Yield: 1 serving Ingredients: 1/2 cup water 1 egg Steps: Put water in a glass cereal bowl. Add 1 egg. Cover and microwave for 1 minute. Pour water off the egg through a slotted spoon. Source: Myself By CaroleeRose [4] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The teacher asked: What do you think your mom and dad have in common? Little Johnnie: "Both don't want no more kids." ___________________________________________________
Sent by Lillemor: When the lights go out
____________________________________________________ Arthur goes into the travel agency and proclaims, "I've seen your ad about a $49.00 trip to Hawaii, and I'd like to go." The travel agent says, "Listen, friend, this is my first day here, but I know about all the details of that crumby $49.00 offer, and believe me, you DON'T want it. Take the next best offer, which is only $1,399.00." "Oh, no you don't," says the Arthur, "you're not going to catch ME with that bait and switch. The ad says `$49.00 to Hawaii,' and THAT's what I want." "Okay," says the agent, who takes his money then grabs a baseball bat from under the desk and hits him on the head. Arthur wakes up a few hours later, on a raft out in the Pacific Ocean! He looks around, and there's NOTHING, only he and another guy on the raft. "What are we going to do?" cries our hero, "surely they'll send a ship for us. Do we get meals and booze?" "I don't think so," responds his new-found travelling companion, "they didn't last year, and if you don't have any booze in your back pocket, you are out of luck." ____________________________________________________ The tough businessman was feeling very ill and went to the doctor. The medical man examined him and backed away, saying: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you have an advanced case of highly infectious rabies. You must have had it for some time. It will almost certainly be fatal." "Could you give me a pen and paper?" said the businessman. "Do you want to write your will?" "No, I want to make a list of all the people with overdue invoices, and then I am going out for a few bites." ____________________________________________________
The ring dance.

Today, December 7, in
1431 In Paris, Henry VI of England was crowned King of France. 
1907 At London's National Sporting Club, Eugene Corri became 
 the first referee to officiate from inside a boxing ring. 
1925 Swimmer Johnny Weissmuller set a world record in the 
 150-yard freestyle with a time of 1 minute, 25 and 2/5 seconds. 
 He went on to play "Tarzan" in several movies. 
1926 The gas operated refrigerator was patented by The 
 Electrolux Servel Corporation. 
1941 Pearl Harbor, located on the Hawaiian island of Oahu was 
 attacked by nearly 200 Japanese warplanes. The attack 
 resulted in the U.S. entering into World War II. 
1946 A fire at the Winecoff Hotel in Atlanta killed 119 people. 
 It was America's worst hotel fire disaster. The hotel founder, 
 W. Frank Winecoff, was also killed in the fire. 
1971 Libya announced the nationalization of British Petroleum's 
 assets. They never forgave them for that.
1972 Apollo 17 was launched at Cape Canaveral. It was the last 
 U.S. moon mission. 
1972 Imelda Marcos, wife of Philippine President Ferdinand E. 
 Marcos, was stabbed and seriously wounded by an assailant. 
 The man was then shot and killed by her bodyguards. 
1974 President Makarios returned to Cyprus after five months 
 in exile. 
1980 General Antonio Ramlho Eanes was reelected president of 
 Portugal. His right-wing opposition was thrown into disarray 
 by the death of Premier Francisco Sa Carneiro in a plane crash. 
1982 Charlie Brooks Junior, a convicted murderer, became the 
 first prisoner in the U.S. to be executed by injection, at a 
 prison in Huntsville, TX. 
1983 Madrid, Spain, an Aviaco DC-9 collided on a runway with 
 an Iberia Air Lines Boeing 727 that was accelerating for 
 takeoff. The collision resulted in the death of all 42 people 
 aboard the DC-9 and 51 on the Iberia jet. 
1987 43 people were killed when a gunman opened fire on a 
 fellow passenger and the two pilots aboard a Pacific Southwest 
 Airlines jetliner. 
1988 An estimated 25,000 people were killed when a major 
 earthquake hit northern Armenia in the Soviet Union. The quake 
 measured 6.9 on the Richter Scale. 
1989 East Germany's Communist Party agreed to cooperate with the 
 plan for free elections and a revised constitution. 
1992 The U.S. Supreme Court rejected a Mississippi abortion law which
 required women to get counseling and then wait 24 hours before 
 terminating their pregnancies. 
1993 Six people were killed and 17 were injured when a gunman opened 
 fire on a Long Island Rail Road commuter train. 
1993 Energy Secretary Hazel O'Leary revealed that the U.S. government 
 had conducted more than 200 nuclear weapons tests in secret at its 
 Nevada test site. 
1995 A probe sent from the Galileo spacecraft entered into Jupiter's 
 atmosphere. The probe sent back data to the mothership before it 
 was presumably destroyed. 
1996 The space shuttle Columbia returned from the longest-ever 
 shuttle flight of 17 days, 15 hours and 54 minutes. 
1998 The U.N. evacuated 14 peacekeepers that were trapped by fighting 
 between army and rebel forces in central Angola. 
2002 In Mymensingh, Bangladesh, four movie theaters were bombed 
 within 30 minutes of each other. At least 15 people were killed 
 and over 200 were injured. 
2015  smiled.


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How to make a spreadsheet to track weight, with a graph 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, December 6
Saint Nicholas Day


>From Cora
Thank you, Thank you, Webby,
My windows 10 now feels like 7 again.  
If any out there are unhappy with windows 10, 
do what DearWebby said.  You won't regret it.
Happy again, 
Cora
------------

>From Neil
Re speakers for laptop

If Denise has a Win 10 laptop it likely has bluetooth built 
in. That will allow for wireless transmission of the sound 
to a bluetooth speaker. 
Here is a link for a bluetooth reciever that can be purchased 
for less than $10.00 CAD and can be plugged in to the aux input 
on many boomboxes. This eliminates the need for a wire and allows 
the boombox to be located where convenient. The receiver needs 
periodic recharging depending on usage. A usb cable is provided 
for that purpose. Mine works well with the laptop I have.

Aliexpress Bluetooth

Another option is to purchase wireless bluetooth speakers for 
around $40 to $50. These are smaller than another boombox and still 
deliver decent sound. Obviously if you want to listen to a symphony 
orchestra you need to pick a different option. (Vinyl record and 
really expensive stereo probably).

The link provided is not an affiliate link but takes you to 
Aliexpress.com which ships from manufacturers in China. They accept 
paypal so you do not have to expose credit card info. 

I have purchased many items from Ali Express, all have arrived in 
working order. Do not purchase cellphones or tablets directly 
from China. Cell phones are for European connections and will not 
connect to Canadian carriers. The tablets are cheaply made and 
fail constantly. Stick with the brand names for those purchases.

The computer accessories such as cables, usb hubs, etc. are no 
different than what you can purchase in local stores, but are 
much reduced in price.

The only drawback to ordering this way is the shipping time 
regardless of the claims made on the site is an average of 
six weeks.

Merry Christmas!
Neil

----------------


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Pregnant teacher arrested for sex with 16 year old student Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 6, in 1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a state education system. History ______________________________________________________ Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two men were talking about their jobs. "The company where I work is putting in a computer system and it is going to put a lot of people out of work. Have they started that over where you work?" "Oh," said his friend, "We've been on computers for more than five years but they can't replace me. Nobody has been able to figure out exactly what I do." ______________________________________________________ Then, there was the young woman who was always tardy. But she dressed in the latest styles. As she was running up to the church just as people were starting to leave she panted: "Is - M ass out?" One of the Ladies society members replied: "No, not quite, but your skirt is mighty short and it might be if you run." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Lillemor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Virginia Houston Hinckley, 26, Jacksonville, Florida
Pregnant teacher arrested for sex with 16 year old student A St. Johns County English teacher accused of having sex with a 16-year-old student could soon be suspended without pay, a school district spokeswoman said. Virginia Houston Hinckley, a 26-year old St. Augustine High School teacher, has been suspended with pay since October, pending the outcome of the investigation, but the superintendent is recommending at the next school board meeting, Dec. 8, that she be suspended without pay. Hinckley, who lives in Jacksonville, turned herself in Wednesday at the Nassau County Sheriff’s Office after learning a warrant for her arrest had been issued by the St. Johns County Sheriff’s Office. She is charged with having unlawful sexual activity with a minor, which is a second-degree felony. She was released Wednesday after posting $10,000 bond. According to the arrest warrant affidavit, the 16-year-old student said he became “flirty” with Hinckley, his English teacher, days after school began and that he and others commented on how she was pretty and how he “tickled” her. The student initially asked for Hinckley's phone number. She said no, but the following day when he asked again, she gave it to him and told him not to tell anyone, the warrant said. The two began exchanging text messages, including nude photos, according to the student. He said Hinckley sent him photos of her breasts and other body parts, the warrant said. According to the warrant, the student would often go to Hinckley's classroom after school, and when they were alone one day -- on or around Aug. 18 -- they began kissing and touching. She suggested that they go to Treaty Park, on Wildwood Drive, and she followed him there. The student got out of his vehicle and sat in the front seat of Hinckley's vehicle, where they kissed before moving to the back seat and having unprotected sex, the warrant said. Later that day, Hinckley sent the student a text message that said, “You better keep your mouth shut about this.” They continued exchanging text messages for about a week and then stopped all communication, the warrant said. Hinckley denied going to Treaty Park to have sex with the student. Her vehicle was seized and swabbed for DNA after deputies obtained a search warrant. Two warrants for cellphone records revealed there was communication between Hinckley and the student, investigators said. According to the arrest warrant, a witness saw Hinckley waiting for the 16-year-old before they went to Treaty Park. According to her old classmates and friends, Hinckley is married and is expecting her first child next year. School district officials said any steps beyond suspension will have to wait until after the outcome of the legal process.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lydia Re: Spreadsheet for tracking weight Dear Webby, I need an Excel spreadsheet to track my weight. Unfortunately I have long forgotten all about spreadsheets, so please tell me in small words like you did in the late 80's. And with a graph! Btw., my average weight now is around 150. Thanks Lydia Dear Lydia Sounds like you successfully cured your anorexia! Congratulations! For the graph to make sense it's best to ignore the bottom part, and only show the variations. So let's deduct the bottom 130 pounds and only show what is above 130. Men just focus on the top anyway. OK, in the first column we put the date. Type 12/1/2015 into the first cell. Right Click on it, Format Cells Select Date, and on the right side 14-Mar or whatever short date format you want. OK Now go into the cell below that and type +a1+1. Actually that is Quattro Style, but Excel will "correct" that to =+a1+1 That will show 2-Dec Now copy that cell with CTRL C Paste it down in the same column about 10 rows You might have to click on the big A column header to highlight the entire column, and format the date. On to column B Here you will enter your weight. Just enter some example numbers between 140 and 160. Column C =IF(B1>0,B1-130,"") That first checks if there IS something in column B. If there isn't, there is no point deducting 130 from nothing. However, if there IS something there, it deducts 130 from that, and puts it into Column C. If there is nothing, it does nothing. Leaves cell C empty. Copy that formula down column C as far as you want. Now it gets tricky. Smear column A to selct it. Hold down CTRL and smear colum C down just as far. Yes, I know, normally that would loose the previously selected column A. In this case it doesn't. Once you have Column A and C selected down to equal length, click on the Graph button above. Select either the top for upright bars or the third for lines. The top one works well for what you want. Highlight that and hit Next And Next again Then you can fill in the titles. For the top title type, for example: Weight above 130 Then click on Legend above, and take the checkmark off. That is only if you have different sets of data, for example also the weight of ol Chubby. Then you would use different color bars for you and for him. Then click finish Next rightclick on the dates at the bottom. Excel always messes them up. Right-click them and select Format Axis Select for example 3/14 or any short version. If the date is not rotated to save space, you can do that there too. Same for fonts. The rest is just dragging the graph to where you want it, squishing parts and selecting colors. Once you have made one, you will see how easy it is. Just keep in mind that weird, non-standard way of selecting data ranges. Once you have reached the bottom of the example, you don't have to dump the graph. You can adjust the ranges. Right-click between the columns Select Source Data OK, there you see a witches brew of Gobbledigook. In that you will spot the numbers of the lowest used cells, for example two occurrences of 16, one for the dates and one for the top weights. Change those two to for example 50. Now the graph takes the data for 50 days. If you change it to 365, it will do it for a year. That is all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Petra: I wish to complain - the instructions on your deodorant were very misleading. I followed your instructions on a stick of deodorant to the letter: 'Take Off Top, Push Up Bottom', and was left semi-naked in some not inconsiderable pain. And it didn't help my perspiring. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Almond Crescent Cookies A twist on the classic sugar cookie recipe, these almond horns are perfect for a Christmas tea or enjoyed alongside hot cocoa on a snowy afternoon. Approximate Time: 90 minutes Yield: 6 dozen Ingredients: 1 cup butter 1/2 cup sugar 1 egg 3 Tbsp milk 1/2 tsp salt 1 tsp amaretto 3 cups flour 1.5 tsp baking powder 1/2 cup cornstarch 1 cup almonds, ground 1 cup confectioners sugar Steps: Mix sugar, butter, egg, milk, and salt thoroughly. Gradually add in flour, baking powder, cornstarch and amaretto until dough is smooth and pliable. Fold in almond bits. Shape dough into small logs (about 1 inch long) and bend to form crescents. Bake at 375 degrees F for 7-9 minutes. Allow to cool slightly, then roll in confectioners sugar. Source: My Italian Grandmother :-) By Rae G. [21] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle . . . "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children." ___________________________________________________
Scat dancing
____________________________________________________ An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after an entire semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist." Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. They found his answer consisted of two words: "What chair?" ____________________________________________________ This is a call that came into the 911 emergency line: 911 operator: 911 what is your emergency? Man: Hey dude, I need an ambulance. 911 operator: A what? Man: I need an ambulance. A woman just got hit by a car. 911 operator: Okay, where are you? Man: I'm down here on Sycamore Street. 911 operator: Where are you? Say it again. This static makes it hard to understand you. Man: I'm at Sycamore Street! 911 operator: Maybe it would be easier to understand you if you spell where you're at. Man: All right. S-y-c-k...no, no that ain't right. S-i- c-k...no...S-e...S-y. I'll tell you what, I'll skid her over to Lee Street; you can pick her up there. ____________________________________________________
Temporary art.

Today, December 6, in
1492 Columbus discovered Hispaniola (now Haiti) and 
 the Dominican Republic. 
1774 Austria became the first nation to introduce a state 
 education system. 
1865 The 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was 
 ratified. The amendment abolished slavery in the U.S. 
1877 Thomas Edison demonstrated the first gramophone, 
 with a recording of himself reciting Mary Had a Little Lamb. 
1884 The construction of the Washington Monument was 
 completed by Army engineers. The project took 34 years. 
1889 Jefferson Davis died in New Orleans. He was the first 
 and only president of the Confederate States of America. 
1907 In Monongah, WV, 361 people were killed in America's 
 worst mine disaster. 
1917 More than 1,600 people died when two munitions ships 
 collided in the harbor at Halifax, Nova Scotia. 
1917 Finland proclaimed independence from Russia. 
1921 The Catholic Irish Free State was created as a self
 -governing dominion of Britain when an Anglo-Irish 
 treaty was signed. 
1926 In Italy, Benito Mussolini introduced a tax on 
 bachelors. 
1947 Everglades National Park in Florida was dedicated 
 by U.S. President Truman. 
1957 America's first attempt at putting a satellite into 
 orbit failed when the satellite blew up on the launch pad 
 at Cape Canaveral, FL. 
1982 11 soldiers and 6 civilians were killed when a bomb 
 exploded in a pub in Ballykelly, Northern Ireland. The 
 Irish National Liberation Army was responsible for 
 planting the bomb. 
1983 In Jerusalem, a bomb planted on a bus exploded killing 
 six Israelis and wounding 44. 
1989 The worst mass shooting in Canadian history occurred when 
 a man gunned down 14 women at the University of Montreal's 
 school of engineering. The man then killed himself. 
1990 Iraq announced that it would release all its 2,000 
 foreign hostages. 
1992 In India, thousands of Hindu extremists destroyed a 
 mosque. The following two months of Hindu-Muslim rioting 
 resulted in at least 2,000 people being killed. 
1994 Orange County, CA, filed for bankruptcy protection due 
 to investment losses of about $2 billion. The county is one 
 of the richest in the U.S. and became the largest 
 municipality to file for bankruptcy. 
1997 A Russian Antonov 124 military transport crashed into a 
 residential area in Irkutsk, Russia, shortly after takeoff. 
 70 people were killed. 
1998 In Venezuela, former Lieutenant Colonel Hugo Chavez was 
 elected president. He had staged a bloody coup attempt 
 against the government six years earlier. 
1998 Astronauts aboard the space shuttle Endeavour connected 
 the first two building blocks of the international space 
 station in the shuttle cargo bay. 
2002 Winona Ryder was sentenced to 36 months of probation and 
 480 hours of community service stemming from her conviction 
 for shoplifting from Saks Fifth Avenue. She was also ordered 
 to pay $10,000 in fines and restitution. 
2002 Officials released the detailed plans for a $4.7 million 
 memorial commemorating Princess Diana. The large oval 
 fountain was planned to be constructed in London's Hyde Park.
2015  smiled.


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Better sound for laptops 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, December 5

In Austria, where I grew up, tonight is the night when 
St Nicolaus and a devil come around, read the kids the
riot act about what they have to stop or start doing,
praise them for what they did right, and leave them some
goodies.

All during Grade and High School I had been threatened 
quite frequently to be sent to Jagdberg, a former castle
converted to a Juvenile jail school with very high stone 
walls. 
While going to University a professor conned me into being
Santa at Jagdberg. 
Picture me in Santa clothes on my motorcycle riding twenty 
miles to Jagdberg. When I got there they gave me two shots
of Schnaps to ease my stage fright, and handed me a big sack
full of little ones, and a big old book with a hand written
page for each boy inserted between the pages.

My speeches to the first few boys were a bit awkward, but 
then the stage fright medicine started to work, and I quickly
got the hang of it. After a few classess I was even told to
shorten my speeches and be a bit less dramatic.

Eventually I finished with all 640 inmates and started on 
the guards and teachers. I had no papers on those, but faked
their sins and achievements quite nicely. By that time I
was on a roll!

Then they gave me coffee and a very nice sandwich with cold 
cuts in it, and shoed me out. By that time it was about
11 PM and snowing. So I stopped at my girlfriend's place and
gave her the baggie of treats that they had given me for my
effort. By the time I got out of there it was almost getting 
light. I made it home in time to change clothes and ride off
to University. 

Good old days!
Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to Michigan men who robbed and beat up a cerbral palsy victim and posted the beating on their own and his FaceBook page. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 4, in 1492 Christopher Columbus discovered Hispaniola (now Haiti). History ______________________________________________________ The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. --- Dorothy Parker (1893 - 1967) The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready. --- Henry David Thoreau ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ On an airplane, I overheard a stewardess talking to an elderly couple in front of me. Learning that it was the couple's 50th wedding anniversary, the flight attendant congratulated them and asked how they had done it. "It all felt like five minutes..." the gentleman said slowly. The stewardess had just begun to remark on what a sweet statement that was when he finished his sentence with a word that earned him a sharp smack on the head: "..underwater." ______________________________________________________ Sam made an appointment with a urologist, famous for his work in the field of impotence. The doctor examined him and said, "You're in remarkably good condition for a man of 85. Why are you here?" Sam replied, "My friend Max says he has sex twice a week. I can't do that." The doctor shrugged. "Yes you can. You can certainly SAY you have sex as many times a week as you like." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Lillemor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nikey Dashone Walker and Shadeed Dontae Bey, both 20, Pontiac, Michigan
Cops: 'Cowards' film beating of man with cerebral palsy Documented in some of the most graphic videos ever released by the Oakland County Sheriff’s Office, two men were charged Tuesday with the vicious beating of a 23-year-old Pontiac man who has cerebral palsy. In the video — filmed by the man’s attackers and posted on their Facebook page, according to police — the victim can be seen lying on the concrete floor of an apartment building’s stairwell while his assailants kick and pummel him while shouting profanities and calling him the "n" word. "Preying on those in our community who suffer from disabilities will not be tolerated and furthermore, to have the audacity to post their actions on the victim’s page is beyond belief," Oakland County Sheriff Michael Bouchard said in a statement, adding: "I am proud of the deputies at the Pontiac substation and the excellent investigative work that was completed in order to bring these two cowards to justice." According to police, deputies responded to the Phoenix Place Apartments at 8:30 a.m. Monday, after a caller said an injured man was lying in front of the building. Officers determined that the victim "was robbed of his cell phone while he was inside his apartment and, after following the assailants, he was beaten by them inside a stairwell," said a news release from Oakland County Undersheriff Mike McCabe. "Detectives learned that the suspects had filmed the assault using the victim's cell phone and then proceeded to post the video to the victim's Facebook page as well as their own personal pages," McCabe said in the release. A few hours after the beating, police arrested the suspects and the pair was arraigned Tuesday in 50th District Court in Pontiac, McCabe said. Authorities have not released the name of the victim, but Frankie Santana, a resident at the complex, told WJBK-TV that he was the man who was assaulted. "Why would they do that and put it on Facebook? That's how you are going to get caught real quickly," Santana said. Santana said the men spit and stomped on him, injuring an eye, but that "nothing is broke." He said he had seen one of the men before. Investigators say they believe they followed someone to get inside the building and then walked into the victim's unlocked apartment. "I crawled through the hallway and knocked on someone's door and that's how I got help," Santana told the TV station. Nikey Dashone Walker and Shadeed Dontae Bey, both 20 and residents of Pontiac, were charged with home invasion, unarmed robbery and assault with intent to do great bodily harm less than murder; and Judge Michael Martinez assigned $25,000 cash bonds to each, McCabe said. Walker has a prior conviction for auto theft and Bey for larceny, trespassing, possession of stolen goods, resisting police and a drug charge, McCabe said in his release. If convicted, they could be sent to prison for 10 years.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Denise Re: Laptop sound Dear Webby, I got a laptop for the anniversary, with that wonky W10 on it, but I used your Classic Shell to get the W7 look and feel again. I am not stupid. However, the sound is still very crappy. I can do better with a comb and some parchment paper. How can I fix the zilly Kazoo? Denise Dear Denise You can't. With the cheap little squeakers in there, what you hear now is the best you will ever get out of that machine. To get decent sound you have to add external speakers, preferably amplified ones. there are amplified speakers, that are made to work with computers. Logitech makes some very good ones. You can also go to the local Pawn show and see what they got. Look for a boom box or living room stereo, that has AUX input lugs or sockets, originally intended for record player or external tape decks. Then ask for a cable to connect from the GREEN socket of the laptop, 1/8" stereo, to the boom box or house stereo. Connect, adjust the volume way down to minimize damage to your fine crystal, and you are all set. Unlike the cheap squeakers in laptops, quite often the built in microphone is good enough so that Microsoft and the CIA can hear every whisper in the room, and is plenty good enough for video conferencing. You CAN attach a head set or boom microphone. That cuts off the CIA snooper and gives the focus to the external microphone. If you don't want the CIA and Snowden to record what you do with the postman, put the external microphone in front of the radio. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One afternoon, two doctors from India were having an animated discussion. "I say it's spelled 'W-H-O-O-M'," said the first Indian doctor. "No, it is 'W-H-O-M-B'," said the other Indian doctor. An American nurse passing by said, "Excuse me, you are both wrong. It is spelled 'W-O-M-B'." "Thank you nurse," said one of the doctors, "but we prefer to settle this argument ourselves. Besides, we don't think you are in a position to describe the sound of an elephant passing wind under water." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Decoupaged Photo on Wood This is an easy way to place a photo on wood. Approximate Time: More than 24 hourslazy Susan with photos Supplies: One photo printed on "regular" copy paper. Do NOT use a photograph printed on anything but copy paper! wax paper Martha Stewart Decoupage (There is one for light surfaces and one for dark surfaces. Choose according to what you are placing your photo on.) Rustoleum Ultra Cover Clear Gloss Steps: Print out your photo. Cut photo and lay right side up on wax paper. Spread decoupage evenly over the surface of the photo. Turn upside down (decoupage down on wooden surface) If you use something with a word, take this into consideration! Decoupaged Photo on Wood Wait 24 hours. Use a sponge and water to wipe off the paper and the photo will appear. Spray the clear Rustoeum over the wooden surface. I would suggest trying this on a scrap piece of wood first. You will be pleased with the results of even your first attempt. As you can see, I used a lazy Susan and will be a welcome gift. Source: This is a Martha Stewart Product By Sandy [48] If you have a Laser printer, or if a friend has one, you can simply put the picture upside down onto smoothly sanded wood and iron it. The picture will transfer to the wood. Pinning the picture will keep it from moving during the ironing. Some types of wood will need two applications. In that case mark the outline with a pencil. You can erase that before you spray the clear coat on it. For smooth wood pieces check at the Dollar store. They have lots of wood plaques with pious or smart-ass sayings painted on the front, and smooth wood in the back. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two men were sitting at a bar recounting their dreams. "I dreamed I was on vacation," one man said fondly. "It was just me and my fishing rod and this big beautiful lake. What a dream." "I had a great dream too," said the other. "I dreamed I was in bed with two beautiful women and having the time of my life." His companion looked over and exhorted, "You dreamed you had two beautiful women, and you didn't call me?" "Oh, I did," said the other, "but when I called, your wife said you'd gone fishing." ___________________________________________________
juggling at the White House
____________________________________________________ An attractive young woman who had just had surgery performed on her asked the doctor, "Will the scar show?" The doctor replied, "That's entirely up to you." ____________________________________________________ "Arthur's wife convinced him to sign what's called a living will. It's a document that gives her the right, if he becomes attached to some mechanical device, to terminate his life. So, yesterday, while he was on his new exercise bike, with the heart rate monitor, the blood oxygen monitor, the breathing rate monitor and the temperature monitors attached to him. . . ." ____________________________________________________
Some beautiful, some amusing snow and ice art in Japan.

Today, December 5, in
1492 Christopher Columbus discovered Hispaniola (now Haiti). 
1560 Charles IX succeeded as King of France on the death 
 of Francis II. 
1766 James Christie, founder of the famous auctioneers, held 
 his first sale in London. 
1797 Napoleon Bonaparte arrived in Paris to command forces for 
 the invasion of England. 
1812 Napoleon Bonaparte left his army as they were retreating 
 from Russia. 
1848 U.S. President Polk triggered the Gold Rush of '49 by 
 confirming the fact that gold had been discovered in California. 
1876 The Stillson wrench was patented by D.C. Stillson. The 
 device was the first practical pipe wrench. 
1904 The Russian fleet was destroyed by the Japanese at Port Arthur
 during the Russo-Japanese War. 
1908 At the University of Pittsburgh, numerals were first used on 
 football uniforms worn by college football players. 
1913 Britain outlawed the sending of arms to Ireland. 
1932 German physicist Albert Einstein was granted a visa making it 
 possible for him to travel to the U.S. 
1933 Prohibition came to an end when Utah became the 36th state 
 to ratify the 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. 
1934 Fighting broke out between Italian and Ethiopian troops on 
 the Somalian border. 
1934 The Soviet Union executed 66 people charged with plotting 
 against Joseph Stalin's government. 
1935 In Montebello, CA, the first commercial hydrophonics 
 operation was established. 
1936 The Soviet Union adopted a new Constitution
1944 During World War II, Allied troops took Ravenna, Italy. 
1945 The so-called "Lost Squadron" disappeared. The five U.S. 
 Navy Avenger bombers carrying 14 Navy flyers began a training 
 mission at the Ft. Lauderdale Naval Air Station. They were 
 never heard from again. 
1951 The first push button-controlled garage opened in 
 Washington, DC. 
1956 British and French forces began a withdrawal from Egypt 
 during the Suez War. 
1958 Britain's first motorway, the Preston by-pass, was opened 
 by Prime Minister Macmillan. 
1961 United Nations forces launched an attack in Katanga, Congo, 
 near Elizabethville. 
1971 The Soviet Union, at United Nations Security Council, 
 vetoed a resolution calling for a cease-fire in hostilities 
 between India and Pakistan over Kashmir. 
1977 Egypt broke diplomatic relations with Syria, Libya, Algeria, 
 Iraq and South Yemen due to peaceful relations with Israel. 
1978 The American space probe Pioneer Venus I, orbiting Venus, 
 began beaming back its first information and picture of the planet. 
1979 Sonia Johnson was formally excommunicated by the Mormon Church 
 due to her outspoken support for the proposed Equal Rights Amendment 
 to the Constitution. 
1983 In west Beirut, Lebanon, more than a dozen people were killed 
 when a car bomb shattered a nine-story apartment building. 
1984 Iran's official news agency quoted the hijackers of a Kuwaiti 
 jetliner parked at Tehran airport as saying they would blow up the 
 plane unless Kuwait released 14 imprisoned extremists. 
1988 Jim Bakker and former aide Richard Dortch were indicted by a 
 federal grand jury in North Carolina on fraud and conspiracy charges. 
1989 East Germany's former leaders were placed under house arrest. 
1998 James P. Hoffa became the head of the Teamsters union, 
 23 years after his father was the head. His father disappeared 
 and was presumed dead. 
2001 In Germany, Afghan leaders signed a pact to create a temporary 
administration for post-Taliban Afghanistan. Two women were included 
 in the cabinet structure. Hamid Karzai and his Cabinet were planned 
 to take over power in Afghanistan on December 22. 
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 300 million applications
 downloaded. 
2010 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft became the longest-operating 
 spacecraft ever sent to Mars. The Odyssey entered orbit around Mars 
 on October 23, 2001. 
2014 NASA's Orion Multi-Purpose Crew Vehicle (MPCV) debuted when 
 it was launched for a four hour test flight. It landed on target 
 in the Pacific Ocean. 
2015  smiled.


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Laptop sound 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, December 4
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!




http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a British rapist bully, who got the crap beaten out oif him Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 4, in 1812 Peter Gaillard patented the power mower. History ______________________________________________________ Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Los Alamitos, California, police log reports that a caller called police to report hearing a man screaming, "I am going to kill you!" which turned out to be the man "addressing his computer." No charges were filed, of course, as the actions were deemed to likely be appropriate. ______________________________________________________ In a small town in the US, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men. Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him, "Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous...or what?" "Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Lillemor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Johnathon Holmes, 35, Sheffield, England
Sex attacker left beaten up after woman fights back A violent sex fiend was left bruised and bloodied after trying to rape a woman who courageously refused to go down without a fight. Johnathon Holmes, 35, jumped the woman on the streets of Sheffield, England, last month -- but ended up having to escape his own beastly attack with two black eyes and numerous gashes to his face, The Mirror reported. On Tuesday, the Sheffield man pleaded guilty to the Nov. 1 attack and was sentenced to four and a half years in prison, according to The Mirror. The woman testified in court that he followed her in the early morning hours for over a mile before pouncing on her and knocking her into some bushes. Fortunately for her, she realized she was being followed and prepared herself by placing her car keys in her hand as a potential weapon, she testified. She had also pulled out her phone to call her partner. As Holmes forced her on her back and climbed on top of her, he told her, “you are going to enjoy this,” she said. He then thrust his tongue into her mouth, and she chomped down on it as hard as she could. When he relaxed his grip she maneuvered herself on top of him and, with her keys pressed to his neck, continued screaming for help, and just generally beat the crap out of the big bully, she told the court. Two passers-by heard her cries and likely prompted his attempt to flee, Prosecutor Rachael Harrison said, according to The Sheffield Star. But as he jumped over some railings, he injured himself some more.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Denise Re: Laptop sound Dear Webby, I got a laptop for the anniversary, with that wonky W10 on it, but I used your Classic Shell to get the W7 look and feel again. I am not stupid. However, the sound is still very crappy. I can do better with a comb and some parchment paper. How can I fix the zilly Kazoo? Denise Dear Denise You can't. With the cheap little squeakers in there, what you hear now is the best you will ever get out of that machine. To get decent sound you have to add external speakers, preferably amplified ones. there are amplified speakers, that are made to work with computers. Logitech makes some very good ones. You can also go to the local Pawn show and see what they got. Look for a boom box or living room stereo, that has AUX input lugs or sockets, originally intended for record player or external tape decks. Then ask for a cable to connect from the GREEN socket of the laptop, 1/8" stereo, to the boom box or house stereo. Connect, adjust the volume way down to minimize damage to your fine crystal, and you are all set. Unlike the cheap squeakers in laptops, quite often the built in microphone is good enough so that the Microsoft and the CIA can hear every whisper in the room, and is plenty good enough for video conferencing. You CAN attach a head set or boom microphone. That cuts off the CIA snooper and gives the focus to the external microphone. If you don't want the CIA and Snowden to record what you do with the postman, put the external microphone in front of the radio. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The above joke reminds me of this fact: Giant Canadian/US retailer Home Depot has issued a company policy that no store is to do any more business with the US government or its representatives. Why? They prefer to hire people with experience in construction and building trades or their spouses who generally know as much about hardware, people who speak the local language fluently, and people who are physically in good enough shape to be able to assist customers with loading their purchases. However, if they sell above a certain amount of stuff to the US government, they fall under contractor or supplier status and have to employ according to government regulations. Right now that would mean firing a lot of women and hire more men, even if they are in no shape to lift a bag of cement that is as heavy as a kid, or don't know what cement is. They would have to fire local people who live within walking distance of the store and hire a certain percentage of new immigrants, etc., etc. Therefore, when they had to choose between customer service as usual versus government style, they decided to tell the governement to go shop elsewhere. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Double Chocolate Toffee Cookies Ingredients: 3/4 cup cocoa 1 tsp baking soda 1/2 tsp salt 1 cup butter, softened 2/3 cup granulated sugar 2/3 cup packed, brown sugar 1 tsp vanilla extract 2 eggs 1/2 cup chocolate chips 1/2 cup toffee bits Steps: Preheat oven to 350º F. Combine flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt in medium bowl. Beat butter, granulated sugar, brown sugar and vanilla extract in large mixer bowl until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Gradually beat in flour mixture. Stir in chips and toffee bits. Place by spoonful on greased baking sheets. Bake for 9 to 11 minutes. Link: triingforbalance.blogspot.com By Rae G. [20] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ On her way back from the concession stand, Sally asked a man at the end of the row of seats, "Pardon me, but did I step on your foot before?" Expecting an apology, the man said, "Indeed you did." Sally nodded, "Oh good. Then this is my row." ___________________________________________________
juggling at the White House
____________________________________________________ Gina was trying to get her eigth-grade history class to understand how the Indians must have felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers. "How would you feel," she asked, "if someone showed up on your doorstep who looked very different, spoke in a strange way that you don't understand, and wore weird and unusual clothes? Wouldn't you be a bit scared?" "Nah," one girl answered, "That pretty well describes Bozo, my sister's boyfriend, and I've beaten him up three times already." ____________________________________________________ The FBI issued a warning, in a Lancaster County, Pennsylvania newspaper, that they suspect a terrorist may be hiding in the Amish community here. This photo provided the first clue that triggered the investigation: ____________________________________________________
Some beautiful, some amusing snow and ice art in Japan.

Today, December 4, in
1812 Peter Gaillard patented the power mower. 
1918 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson set sail for France to attend 
 the Versailles Peace Conference. Wilson became the first chief 
 executive to travel to Europe while in office. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered the dismantling 
 of the Works Progress Administration. The program had been 
 created in order to provide jobs during the Great Depression. 
1942 U.S. bombers attacked the Italian mainland for the first 
 time during World War II. 
1943 Baseball Commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis announced that 
 any club was free to employ black players. 
1965 The U.S. launched Gemini 7 with Air Force Lt. Col. Frank 
 Borman and Navy Comdr. James A. Lovell on board. 
1973 Pioneer 10 reached Jupiter. 
1977 Jean-Bedel Bokassa, ruler of the Central African Empire, 
 crowned himself emperor in a ceremony believed to have cost 
 more than $100 million. He was deposed 2 years later. 
1978 Dianne Feinstein became San Francisco's first woman mayor 
 when she was named to replace George Moscone, who had been 
 murdered. 
1980 The bodies of four American nuns slain in El Salvador two 
 days earlier were unearthed. Five national guardsmen were 
 later convicted of the murders. 
1983 U.S. jet fighters struck Syrian anti-aircraft positions 
 in Lebanon in retaliation for attacks directed at American 
 reconnaissance planes. Navy Lt. Robert O. Goodman Jr. was 
 shot down and captured by Syria. 
1984 A five-day hijack drama began as four men seized a Kuwaiti 
 airliner en route to Pakistan and forced it to land in Tehran. 
 Two American passengers were killed by the hijackers. 
1987 Cuban inmates at a federal prison in Atlanta freed their 
 89 hostages, peacefully ending an 11-day uprising. 
1988 The government of Argentina announced that hundreds of 
 heavily armed soldiers had ended a four-day military revolt. 
1990 Iraq promised to release 3,300 Soviet citizens it was holding. 
1991 Associated Press correspondent Terry Anderson was released 
 after nearly seven years in captivity in Lebanon. 
1991 Pan American World Airways ceased operations. 
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered American troops to 
 lead a mercy mission to Somalia. 
1993 The Angolan government and its UNITA guerrilla foes formally 
 adopted terms for a truce. The conflict was killing an estimated 
 1,000 people per day. 
1994 Bosnian Serbs released 53 out of about 400 UN peacekeepers 
 they were holding as insurance against further NATO airstrikes. 
2000 O.J. Simpson was involved in an incident with another motorist 
 in Miami, FL. Simpson was accused of scratching the other motorists 
 face while pulling off the man's glasses. 
2001 O.J. Simpson's home in Florida was raided by the FBI in an 
 ongoing two year international investigation into drug trafficking, 
 satellite service pilfering and money laundering. Some satellite 
 equipment was taken from Simpson's home and no drugs were found. 
2015  smiled.


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If you can't revert to W7 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, December 3

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Woman shot ex-beau in leg after moving out Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 3, in 1792 The trial of France's King Louis XVI began. He was eventually put to death for the 33 charges. href="#hist">History ______________________________________________________ A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbors. --- William Ralph Inge (1860 - 1954) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A housewife with three young children was getting dinner ready when the phone rang. The six-year-old picked it up and said, "Hi, Daddy!" and she began telling him about her day. She then passed the phone to her brother and sister as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work. When it was finally the wife's turn to talk she took the receiver and said, "Hi, hon." "Thank God, lady," the voice on the other end replied. "I just called to tell you that your snowblower is fixed" ______________________________________________________ Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me . . . I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is." Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Asia Roshonda Simpson, 21, Orlando, Florida
Woman shot ex-beau in leg after moving out A dispute about a past relationship quickly escalated Tuesday when a woman shot her ex-boyfriend in the leg at his apartment where she previously lived with him for a f ew months, officials said. Orlando police are looking for shooting suspect Asia Roshonda Simpson, 21. About 8 p.m., officers were called to the shooting at GrandeVille at JubiLee Park apartments off South Goldenrod Road near the Orlando International Airport. Once inside, police found the victim — who hasn't been identified — lying on the floor between the kitchen and bedroom, holding his right leg. The back of his pants were covered in blood, according to a report said. Police asked who shot him, and he said his ex-girlfriend. Emergency personnel found a fragment of the bullet in his jeans. He was rushed to Orlando Regional Medical Center. His condition was unknown. "It appears he was shot from the front of his right leg and the bullet exited through the rear of his leg," the report said. The victim said they began dating in January. They lived together most of their relationship until they broke up in October. She was in the process of moving out. Once she took everything from the apartment, the victim left to eat. She called him multiple times, police said, until he answered. That's when she said she wanted to talk to him in person. He returned to the apartment and they spoke about their past relationship. "He stated she was upset because she was homeless," the report said. "He told her to go to her sister's house or the new guy she was dating." Simpson then pulled a gun from her purse and shot him, police said. "He dropped to the ground and pleaded with her not to shoot him again," the report said. "He stated he was afraid that she was going to shoot him again and kill him."
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Comac Re: Can't go back to Windows 7 Dear Webby, I sure envy the lady that could go back to Windows 7. I'm telling everybody as long as your computer is healthy stay with it. When a new one has to be bought you are stuck with Windows 10 like I am. Wish it never got invented. For a while I felt like I was starting to use a computer for the first time again. Getting better now, but it took over 3 weeks. Comac Dear Comac Use the Classic link I had on that page. You can make W10 look and feel like W7 or even XP. Lots of companies use the XP look and feel, because they just want their employees to get work done, and not waste time cussing at W10. XP works. What more do they need? Now you can even pick and choose which parts you want to look and feel like W7. Try it! If you are beyond the 30 day grace period, you can try Classic Shell from Classic Shell and just change the look and feel back to W7. Have FUN! DearWebby ------- From Charles M Hi Webby, You are the man again - I restored my tablet, using the website instructions : having coffee while it did the job automatically. A big "Thank You " Charles _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Bambi, the pert young yuppie, filled her gas tank at a self service station. After she had paid and driven away, she realized she'd left the gas cap on top of her car. "Ooopsie," she said as she stopped and looked. Sure enough, it was lost. Mustering all her mental abilities she thought for a few minutes. "Surely I'm not the only young, beautiful woman to have done this," she muttered to herself. "Others must have done the same thing. Maybe if I drive back the way I came, I'll find a gas cap that will fit, or maybe even the one I lost." Bambi drove back down the street and sure enough, she found a gas cap laying by the side of the road. She tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying "click." "WOW, this is SO COOL", Bambi said to no one in particular. "I lost my gas cap, but found one that fits. It's even better than my old one because this one automatically LOCKS!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Leftover Mashed Potato Waffles These are my favourite things to make after Thanksgiving, Christmas, or any time I have an abundance of leftover mashed potatoes. These waffles are creamy in the middle and crispy on the outside; perfect for breakfast with some eggs or just on their own. Definitely a fun twist on a leftover item. Approximate Time: 15 minutes Yield: 4 waffles Ingredients: 1 Tbsp oil 1/4 cup milk 2 eggs 2 1/2 cup leftover mashed potatoes 1/2 cup shredded cheddar cheese 1/2 cup flour 1/2 tsp baking powder 1/4 tsp baking soda 1 slice cooked and crumbled bacon (optional) Steps: Whisk together oil, milk and eggs. Leftover Mashed Potato WafflesLeftover Mashed Potato Waffles Stir in the mashed potatoes*, cheese, and bacon (if you're using it) until well combined. In another bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder and baking soda. Fold the flour mixture into the potato mixture until it's well combined. Scoop the mixture into greased waffle maker, spreading it into an even layer. Bake until golden brown and the egg is cooked fully, a few minutes. Open and check to see if you've reached desired browning. My waffle maker is temperamental; I have to flip my waffles over to get them crunchy. Serve with eggs or on their own. I like them with a hit of sour cream (my husband likes his with ketchup and hot sauce). So yummy! *Depending on the consistency of the leftover mashed potatoes you're using, you might need to either add a bit more milk (if they're too dry), or a bit more flour (if they're wet). By attosa [142] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The personnel office received an email requesting a listing of the department staff be supplied broken down by age and sex. The personnel office sent this reply - "Attached is a list of our staff. We currently have no one broken down by age and sex. However, we have a few alcoholics." ___________________________________________________
Wine opener
____________________________________________________ A woman, whose fondness for the good life had taken its toll in added pounds - and girth -was being shown a Jeep by a salesman at an auto dealership. When the salesman's pitch had run its course, he sought to close with the typical line, "Now what would it take to get you into one of these?" Looking at the Jeep's high front seat, the woman replied, "Probably a forklift." ____________________________________________________ Jeff's mother-in-law uses curlers in her hair after she washes it. She came into the Family Room as he was watching TV. It seems hestared at her funny because she said, "I just set my hair." While we remember the ruckus that followed, the last thing he remembers is saying: "Oh, really? At what time is it set go off?" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders When you've made your brother mad at you and he's pouring water on you from the top bunk, if it's warm, you might want to double check exactly where it's coming from Noella ____________________________________________________
Wow! What I could do with just the interest on all this money!

Today, December 3, in
1792 The trial of France's King Louis XVI began. He was 
 eventually put to death for the 33 charges. 
1835 In Rhode Island, the Manufacturer Mutual Fire Insurance 
 Company issued the first fire insurance policy. 
1910 The neon lamp was displayed for the first time at the 
 Paris Motor Show. The lamp was developed by French physicist 
 Georges Claude. 
1917 The Quebec Bridge opened for traffic after almost 20 years 
 of planning and construction. The bridge suffered partial 
 collapses in 1907 (August 29) and 1916 (September 11). 
1931 Alka Seltzer was sold for the first time. 
1947 The Tennessee Williams play "A Streetcar Named Desire" 
 opened at Broadway's Ethel Barrymore Theater. 
1948 The "Pumpkin Papers" came to public light. The House 
 Un-American Activities Committee announced that former 
 Communist spy Whittaker Chambers had produced microfilm 
 of secret documents hidden inside a pumpkin on his Maryland farm. 
1967 In Cape Town, South Africa, a team of surgeons headed by 
 Dr. Christian Barnard, performed the first human heart 
 transplant on Louis Washkansky. Washkansky only lived 
 18 days. 
1973 Pioneer 10 sent back the first close-up images of 
 Jupiter. The first outer-planetary probe had been launched 
 from Cape Canaveral, FL, on March 2, 1972. 
1982 Doctors at the University of Utah Medical Center 
 removed the respirator of Barney Clark. The retired dentist 
 had become the world's first recipient of a permanent 
 artificial heart only one day before. 
1984 In Bhopal, India, more than 2,000 people were killed 
 after a cloud of poisonous gas escaped from a pesticide 
 plant. The plant was operated by a Union Carbide subsidiary. 
1992 The Greek tanker "Aegean Sea" ran aground at La Coruna, 
 Spain and spilled 21.5 million gallons of crude oil. 
1993 Britain's Princess Diana announced she would be 
 limiting her public appearances because she was tired of 
 the media's intrusions into her life.
1993 Angola's government and its rebel enemies agreed to a 
 cease-fire in their 18-year war. 
1994 Rebel Serbs in Bosnia failed to keep a pledge to 
 release hundreds of UN peacekeepers. 
1995 Former South Korean president Chun Doo-hwan was arrested 
 for his role in a 1979 coup. 
1997 In Ottawa, Canada, more than 120 countries were represented 
to sign a treaty prohibiting the use and production of anti-
personnel land mines. The United States, China and Russia did 
not sign the treaty. 
1997 South Korea received $55 billion from the International 
 Monetary Fund to bailout its economy. 
1999 Tori Murden became the first woman to row across the 
 Atlantic Ocean alone. It took her 81 days to reach the French 
 Caribbean island of Guadeloupe from the Canary Islands. 
1999 The World Trade Organization (WTO) concluded a four-day 
 meeting in Seattle, WA, without setting an agenda for a new 
 round of trade talks. The meeting was met with fierce protests 
 by various groups, that caused $2 Billion in damage, without
 anybody finding out what the protesters wanted.
1999 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) 
 lost radio contact with the Mars Polar Lander as it 
 entered Mars' atmosphere. The spacecraft was unmanned. 
2010 The Boeing X-37 returned to Earth successfully after its 
 first orbital mission. It launched on April 22, 2010. 
2015  smiled.


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Go back to Windows 7 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, December 2

Thank you, Frank for your Assumption Abbey Christmas Cake!
I will keep it cool until Christmas. Promise!
I won't open the box until the Christmas tree is up and lit.

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Mississippi man is accused in Louisiana of killing his father and stabbing his mother because they ordered fast food and didn't get any for him. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 2, in 1804 Napoleon was crowned emperor of France in Paris. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Wit makes its own welcome, and levels all distinctions. No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Doc Smith placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," he instructed her. "Yeth, they uthed to be," remorsed the patient. ______________________________________________________ Teacher: If you had $1.00 and you asked your father for another,how many dollars would you have. Little Johnny: "I would have $1.00!" Teacher: "You don't know your arithmetic." Little Johnny: "You don't know my father!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: Lutheran Church Freistadt MO ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ronald Pritchett, 19, Huron, California
Mississippi man is accused in Louisiana of killing his father and stabbing his mother because they ordered fast food and didn't get any for him Jefferson Parish spokesman John Fortunato said Ronald Pritchett, 32, faces charges of second-degree murder, attempted second-degree murder and auto theft. Sheriff Danny Rigel, of Lamar County, Mississippi, said Pritchett was arrested Thursday at a relative's home near the town of Purvis and has waived extradition to Louisiana. Fortunato said Percival Pritchett, 58, and his wife, Renitta Pritchett, 57, were stabbed Wednesday at their home in unincorporated Gretna. University Medical Center spokeswoman Aleis Tusa said Renitta Pritchett was released after treatment.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Shirley Re: Go back to Windows 7 Dear Webby, Don't know if you can help me or not. I upgraded to Windows 10 and now can't find all of my favorites that I had saved so that I could just click on the yellow star and the list would show up and I could click on what I was looking for. I saw the yellow star once and have not been able to find it again. The task bar also does not show up. Can I uninstall Windows 10 and go back to Windows 7? Thank you Shirley Dear Shirley If you have changed to Windows 10 less than a month ago, then you can go back to Windows 7. Just follow the instructions at UNinstall W10 If you are beyond the 30 day grace period, you can try Classic Shell from Classic Shell and just change the look and feel back to W7. Have FUN! DearWebby Dear Webby, Thank you so much, Webby. I was able to reinstall Windows 7. Is working perfectly. Shirley _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A keynote speaker at a convention came to the podium, shuffled his notes, scanned his audience to make eye contact, and said, thoughtfully: "Where to begin? Where to begin?" A voice in the crowded hall yelled: "As close to the end as possible!!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Streak Free Hardwood Floors I moved into a house where I have real hardwood floors. My old house had laminate and I've tried everything a steam mop, a steam vacuum mop, the regular mop by hand method, and I always had streaky laminate floors. With the new house and hardwood, which is about 11 years old, I was determined to find a way to have streak free floors. I have tried many combinations of natural solutions different mops and always end up non-streak free but today I realize there's only one solution to the problem no matter what cleaning products you want to use. The first step is to vacuum or sweep. Then fill a bucket 1/4 full, with; warm water 1 cup white vinegar 3 drops "drops" of dish soap, drop the soap into still water to avoid suds Next, using a mop start with a small section. Here's the trick, immediately throw an absorbent clean towl down and using the mop wipe the floor dry. Continue in sections. Remember you may have to get extra towels as they get too damp. The problem that we're having with the streaks is the water is drying in place and leaving a watermark, so if you wipe the excess water immediately ya got a beautiful shine. By Justjenn [1] Too tedious for me. I use hot water and a squirt of dish soap, and a heavy string mop. Square tip, not the cutesy yacht mop tip. After sweeping with a Microfiber dustmop, I dunk the wet mop and squeeze excess water out, and mop the floor. Since it is only damp, not sloppy after I squeezed it, it does not leave streaks. If your dish soap does not leave streaks on glasses, then it won't leave streaks after damp mopping. The only challenge is to find the heavy, thick yarn, square tipped wet mops unless you go to a janitorial supply store. Yep, that is what the professionals use. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years. Finally one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper's attention. The boat comes near the island and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man. After awhile the sailor asks, "What are those three huts you have here?" "Well, that's my house there." "What's that next hut?" asks the sailor. "I built that hut to be my church." "What about the other hut?" "Oh, that's where I used to go to church." ___________________________________________________
you can't fix stupid
____________________________________________________ After the lecture, the speaker invited questions from the floor. "I'll hear first from the blonde lady in the front row," he announced but there was no response. Finally realizing all eyes were on her, the blonde lady spoke up. "I didn't know you meant me. I've only been a blonde since yesterday." ____________________________________________________ A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: "Emma come first. Den I come. Two asses, they a come a together. I come again. Two asses, they come a together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come once-a-more." "You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!" "Hey, coola da down lady," said the man. Imma just tella my friend, da bishop, how to spella Mississippi." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders When you've made your brother mad at you and he's pouring water on you from the top bunk, if it's warm, you might want to double check exactly where it's coming from Noella ____________________________________________________
10 Strange facts about animals that some of us didn't know.

Today, December 2, in
1804 Napoleon was crowned emperor of France in Paris. 
1823 U.S. President James Monroe outlined his doctrine opposing 
 European expansion in the Western Hemisphere. 
1901 Gillette patented the KC Gillette Razor. It was first razor 
 to feature a permanent handle and disposable double-edge razor 
 blades. 
1917 During World War I, hostilities were suspended on the 
 eastern front. 
1927 The Ford Motor Company unveiled the Model A automobile. It 
 was the successor to the Model T. 
1939 New York's La Guardia Airport began operations
1942 A self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction was demonstrated 
 by Dr. Enrico Fermi and his staff at the University of Chicago. 
1954 The U.S. Senate voted to condemn Sen. Joseph R. McCarthy for 
 what it called "conduct that tends to bring the Senate into 
 dishonor and disrepute." The censure was related to McCarthy's 
 controversial investigation of suspected communists in the U.S. 
 government, military and civilian society. 
1961 Cuban leader Fidel Castro declared in a nationally broadcast 
 speech that he was a Marxist-Leninist and that he was going to 
 lead Cuba to communism. 
1969 The Boeing 747 jumbo jet got its first public preview as 
 191 people flew from Seattle, WA, to New York City, NY. Most of 
 the passengers were reporters and photographers. 
1970 The Environmental Protection Agency began operations. 
1982 Doctors at the University of Utah implanted a permanent 
 artificial heart in the chest of retired dentist Barney Clark. 
 He lived 112 days with the device. The operation was the first 
 of its kind. 
1988 Benazir Bhutto was sworn in as prime minister of Pakistan. 
1989 V.P. Singh was sworn in as prime minister of India. 
1990 The Midwest section of the U.S. prepared for a massive 
 earthquake predicted by Iben Browning. Nothing happened.
1993 The space shuttle Endeavor blasted off on a mission to fix 
 the Hubble Space Telescope. 
1994 The U.S. government agreed not to seek a recall of allegedly 
 fire-prone General Motors pickup trucks. A deal was made with GM 
 under which the company would spend more than $51 million on 
 safety and research. 
1995 NASA launched a U.S.-European observatory on a $1 billion dollar 
 mission intended to study the sun. 
1998 Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates donated $100 million to help 
 immunize children in developing countries. 
1999 The British government transferred political power over the 
 province of Northern Ireland to the Northern Ireland Executive. 
2001 Enron Corp. filed for Chapter 11 reorganization. The filing came 
 five days after Dynegy walked away from a $8.4 billion buyout. It 
 was the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history. 
2010 NASA announced the discovery of a new arsenic-based life form. 
2015  smiled.


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How to send a fax from the computer 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, December 1

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Burglar Stuck In Chimney Dies After Homeowner Lights Fire Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, December 1, in 1835 Hans Christian Andersen published his first book of fairy tales. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Chateau Miaou According to the Journal of Medicine in 1985, five times more money was spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. It follows that in 30 years (from 1985) there will be great numbers of people walking around with huge breasts and erections unable to remember what to do with them. ______________________________________________________ Chicago Sun-Times, reported the following: ''News Item: Psychiatrists explore ways to treat Jerusalem Syndrome, in which as many as 1 in 100 pilgrims to Jerusalem imagine they are biblical figures, dress up in hotel bedsheets, sing psalms at the top of their lungs and preach to passersby.. Psychiatrists want to take all the fun out of being a pilgrim.'' ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD AND a Darwin Award has been earned by Cody CALDWELL, 19, Huron, California
Burglar Stuck In Chimney Dies After Homeowner Lights Fire A suspected burglar broke into a home in Fresno County, California, but was never actually able to leave. The man ended up getting stuck in the chimney of the home and then died on Saturday afternoon after the unsuspecting homeowner lit a fire. According to Fox News, the homeowner had no idea that a burglar, or anyone for that matter, was in his chimney. On Friday night, the burglar climbed up to the top of the top of a home in the city of Huron, California. He then lowered himself into the chimney in hopes of entering the home and robbing it of its belongings, but things didn’t go so well from there. The burglar ended up getting stuck in the chimney and just stayed there. On Saturday afternoon, the homeowner went to light a fire in his fireplace, but had no idea that anyone was actually stuck in the chimney. Just before 3 p.m. on Saturday, the homeowner heard the burglar scream from inside the chimney shortly after the fire was lit. He immediately worked at putting the fire out and it caused the home to fill up with smoke. Yahoo News reported that while the home was filling up with smoke, the homeowners contacted the authorities to let them know of the situation. They continued to try to put the fire out while waiting for firefighters to arrive. Cal Fire – Fresno County arrived on the scene at the home on the 16000 block of W. Gale Ave just about 10 minutes after the initial call. The suspect in the chimney was said to apparently still be breathing and moving while stuck inside of the chimney. Firefighters began tearing apart the chimney to get the burglar out of the chimney and after a short while, they were able to remove him. While attempting to rescue the man, they soon discovered that he was dead. A preliminary investigation done by the police show that no wrongdoing was done by the homeowner. No one within the home had any idea that someone was in the chimney at the time they lit the fire as the suspect had crawled into it overnight in an attempt to rob the home. The suspect’s body was removed from the scene in Fresno County, California, by the Coroner’s Office. An autopsy is going to be performed to identity not only the cause and exact manner of death, but also his identity.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Irene Re: How to send a Fax Dear Webby, I used to send faxes from my laptop for many years. Then suddenly it stopped. What can I do to send the occasional fax? I got W7, and the laptop is kinda ancient. Thanks Ireme Dear Irene There could be many reasons, from bad connection to hardware to Windows settings. Enough for a small book. I am in the same predicament. My laptop is probably older than you are, and I don't have the time to sort out all Windows problems, that could interfere with faxing. Since there are alot of people like us around, there are also a number of companies on the web, who will fax for us. Here are some: https://www.efax.ca https://www.efax.com They are free for the first month, $16.50 after that You get a fax number, that you can put on your site or your stationery. Then there is http://www.bestfreefax.com/ Fax for free, receive for $3.95 a month. You get a fax number too, that you can use. With services like that just a click away, there is no point buying a fax machine for occasional faxing or to spend a lot of time messing with the Windows Fax. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Sid and Al were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. "Sid," asked Al, "Are there any Jews in Mexico?" I don't know," Sid replied. "Why don't we ask the waiter?" When the waiter came by, Al asked him, "Are there any Mexican Jews?" "I don't know sir, let me ask," the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Mexican Jews." "Are you sure?" Al asked. "I will check again, sir." the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen. While he was still gone, Sid said, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere." When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Mexican Jews." "Are you really sure?" Al asked again. "I cannot believe there are no Mexican Jews." "Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated. "We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican Jews!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Best Brownies As easy as a mix, but much better! Approximate Time: 25 min prep; 30 min bake Yield: 1 8-inch square pan Ingredients: 1/2 cup butter 1 cup sugar 2 large eggs 1 tsp vanilla extract (I always use vanilla paste, for more flavor) 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 1/2 cup all-purpose flour 1/4 tsp salt 1/4 tsp baking powder Steps: Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour an 8-inch square baking pan. I used this recipe for my brownie bowls (recipe submitted separately), so I greased and floured muffin tins. In microwave, melt butter. Stir in the sugar, eggs and vanilla. Beat in the cocoa, flour, salt and baking powder. Spread the batter into the pan (I put the batter into the muffin tins). Bake 25-30 minutes. Do not overcook. Source: adapted from allrecipes.com By Judy Pariser S. [39] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Little Harold was practing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den. The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Harold's violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly. The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could. Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, "For Pete's sake. can't you play something the dog doesn't know?!" ___________________________________________________
epic cat fight
____________________________________________________ Two elderly women were trying on shoes in a store. When Joe slipped a shoe onto one woman's foot, the end of his tie got caught beneath her heel. Unaware of his predicament, she stood up and started toward the mirror. For a few seconds, Joe was crawling along the floor beside her, trying to get her attention. "Look, Martha," her friend said. "He wants to go home with you!" ____________________________________________________ Way down the Mississippi River, two tugboat captains from Luisiana, who had been friends for years, would always cry, "Aye!" and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other. A new crewman asked his captain, "Hey, Pierre, why you do dat?" The captain looked surprised and replied, "Sacri Bleu, you dumb Cajun, your mother not read ta bible to you? You never hear of 'an aye for an aye an a toot for a toot' ?" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Gaslight Square in St. Louis was a thriving entertainment district known for gas lit street lamps and a jazzy sound. Entertainers like the Smothers Brothers, Barbra Streisand, Woody Allen and Miles Davis gained exposure there at the start of their careers. While the district was well known for its night clubs, there was a little coffee house just around the corner called The Exit - a play on words of the title of Jean-Paul Sartre's book, No Exit. The coffee house had an open mike and anybody could say anything, read anything, and they did. During the day, I worked with the guy who ran the place. He asked me to volunteer waiting tables for one night, I said I would. Now the decor was dark - everything was dark burgundy and black. At nightthe only lighting was a small candle at each table. My job was to take orders for drinks (coffee, tea, juice, etc.) I think it was my second table that I approached with a glass of water and ice. I sat the glass down and before I could ask for their order, I heard a cry - coming from MY table. Seems that since I really couldn't see the table, I'd set the glass on the edge and it'd tipped over onto the lady's lap. The rest of my volunteering that night was upstairs typing papers. Noella ____________________________________________________
Whew! I'm so glad I don't have to drive any of these roads!

Today, December 1, in
1835 Hans Christian Andersen published his first book of fairy tales. 
1909 The Pennsylvania Trust Company, of Carlisle, PA, became the 
 first bank in the in the U.S. to offer a Christmas Club account. 
1913 Ford Motor Co. began using a new movable assembly line that 
 ushered in the era of mass production. 
1913 The first drive-in automobile service station opened, 
 in Pittsburgh, PA. 
1925 The Locarno Pact finalized the treaties between World War I 
 protagonists. 
1934 Sergei M. Kirov, a collaborator of Joseph Stalin, was 
 assassinated at the Leningrad party headquarters. 
1941 In the U.S., the Civil Air Patrol was created. In April 
 1943 the Civil Air Patrol was placed under the jurisdiction of 
 the Army Air Forces. 
1942 In the U.S., nationwide gasoline rationing went into effect. 
1952 In Denmark, it was announced that the first successful 
 sex-change operation had been performed. 
1955 Rosa Parks, a black seamstress in Montgomery, AL, refused 
 to give up her seat to a white man. Mrs. Parks was arrested 
 marking a milestone in the civil rights movement in the U.S. 
1959 12 countries, including the U.S. and USSR, signed a treaty 
 that set aside Antarctica as a scientific preserve, which would 
 be free from military activity. 
1965 An airlift of refugees from Cuba to the United States began. 
1969 The U.S. government held its first draft lottery since WWII. 
1984 A remote-controlled Boeing 720 jetliner was deliberately 
 crashed into California's Mojave Desert to test an anti-flame 
 fuel additive. The test proved to be disappointing. 
1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan said he would welcome an 
 investigation of the Iran-Contra affair if it were recommended 
 by the Justice Department. 
1987 Construction began on the Channel Tunnel between the 
 United Kingdom and France. 
1987 NASA announced four companies had been given contracts to 
 help build a space station. The companies were Boeing Aerospace, 
 G. E.'s Astro-Space Division, McDonnell Douglas Aeronautics, 
 and Rocketdyne Division of Rockwell International. 
1989 Dissidents in the Philippine military launched an unsuccessful 
 coup against Corazon Aquino's government. 
1989 East Germany's Parliament abolished the Communist Party's 
 constitutional guarantee of supremacy. 
1990 British and French workers digging the Channel Tunnel finally 
 met under the English Channel. 
1991 Ukrainians voted overwhelmingly for independence from the 
 Soviet Union. 
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin survived an impeachment 
 attempt by hard-liners at the opening of the Russian Congress. 
1994 The U.S. Senate gave final congressional approval to the 
 124-nation General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade. 
1998 Exxon announced that it was buying Mobil for $73.7 billion 
 creating the largest company in the world to date. 
2013 Amazon.com CEO Jeff Bezos revealed "Amazon Prime Air" on 
 "60 Minutes." The services was planned to use unmanned aerial 
 vehicles to deliver packages to customers. 
2015  smiled.


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Link for ExtraKeys 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 30

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man,who was arrested and didn't remember driving SUV off showroom floor, through glass doors Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 30, in 1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an army of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva. King Charles XII died on this day. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ A waist is a terrible thing to mind. --- Jane Caminos Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. --- Gordon R. Dickson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two die-hard golfers saw some kids fishing at the lake. One said to the other, "Look at those idiots fishing in the rain!" ______________________________________________________ Just after the maid had been fired, she took some steaks from the fridge and threw them to Fido, the family dog with the words: "Thanks, Fido. I never forget a friend. This was for doing the dishes for me every day!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Vantice Beshears, 46, Ocala, Florida
Arrested man didn't remember driving SUV off showroom floor, through glass doors A man arrested Thursday told police he did not remember going to Honda of Ocala and taking two large screen television sets and putting them in a SUV on the showroom floor, driving through double glass doors, driving into another vehicle or abandoning the vehicle at the entrance of a subdivision. Vantice L. Beshears, 46, faces six charges, including grand theft over $20,000 and commercial burglary. He remained at the Marion County Jail on Friday, with his bond totaling $23,500. Early Thursday, Ocala Police Department Officer Ashley Stinehour was told that a black 2014 Toyota 4-Runner had been involved in a hit-and-run crash in the 2800 block of Southeast 31st Street and had pulled into the Devonshire subdivision. Stinehour found the sport utility vehicle parked just outside the subdivision’s front gate. The lights of the vehicle were flashing as if someone was using a remote to lock the doors. The officer saw Beshears walking on the opposite side of the entrance and called out to him. At first, Beshears ignored Stinehour, bur then walked over to her. Beshears, who appeared intoxicated and had a bottle of Aleve in his hand, told the officer he was visiting a friend, but could not give a name or address, according to an OPD report. Stinehour, joined by other officers, discovered there were warrants from Marion and Lake counties for Beshears' arrest and he was taken into custody. He was first taken to a hospital for an evaluation but became aggressive and was taken instead to the jail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: a few Re: Link to Extra characters not working Dear Webby, When I tried that link, I got the response, "that link is not valid." Is there a different link available? Dear Yes, there is. Try http://www.deeproot.co.uk/extrakeys.html Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Coffee Maker for Soft Boiled Eggs I use my coffee maker to cook egg. I put the egg at the bottom, water and turn on. Since water does not boils, eggs are kept softer. My coffee maker takes about 15 to 20 minutes. You just have to figure out how long it takes to get your eggs the way you like. By zelda [3] You will probably have to use an old-fashioned percolator type coffee maker with the coffee tower pulled out. If you use a camp fire or stove top percolator, use plenty of water, bring the water with the eggs in it to a rapid boil, and move it off the fire. The eggs will cook themselves in about 5 minutes. Rinse in the creek or lake, and peel immediately. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, "Yes, officer?" "What are you doing?" the policeman asked. "I'm reading a magazine." Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?" "She's knitting." "And how old are you?" the officer then asked the young man. "I'm nineteen," he replied. "And how old is she?" asked the officer. The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she'll be eighteen." ___________________________________________________
funny baptisms
____________________________________________________ Jake and Paul are two old retired widowers who reside close to each other and do constant welfare checks on each other. One day, as he drinks his morning coffee, Paul opens the morning paper and turns to the Obits page. He gets the shock of his life when he sees his own obituary in the column. He realizes that the query for info on him by the local newspaper several months earlier was in preparation for this event. He correctly surmises that it is a mistaken entry from their database, premature and erroneous.. It still excites and rankles him, so he calls Jake up. "Jake, are you up yet?" Jake sleepily answers, "Yeah, but I'm only now starting my coffee." "Jake. open the newspaper to page 31." The paper rustles for a few seconds, then a long silent pause ensues. Finally, Jake comes on the line quietly and fearfully, "So Paul, where are you calling me from right now?" ____________________________________________________ Where is THAT hospital ? I think I have a fever. While making her rounds, the Head Nurse noticed a young female patient missing. Pressing the intercom, she said "Lori, where's the patient in 340?" "Oh!" came the reply. "Well... she was complaining of severe chills, so I put her in bed with Mr. Johnson in 328 who was running a high fever." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Thanks to James: So this guy's blunder was in just waiting too long! When they were kids he and his brother fought constantly. Dad would come home and pictures were rearranged, coats were hung in weird places around the room - to cover up holes knocked into the walls. They'd just gotten boxing gloves and were battling it out. James knocked his brother into the closet, but he didn't come back out. After about five minutes, James got worried that maybe he'd really hurt his brother. He walked over to the closet and slowly parted the clothes and out came a fist - right into his mouth. And THAT's how he got that chipped tooth. True story James Noella ____________________________________________________
Whew! I'm so glad I don't have to drive any of these roads!

Today, November 30, in
1700 8,000 Swedish troops under King Charles XII defeated an 
 army of at least 50,000 Russians at the Battle of Narva. King 
 Charles XII died on this day. 
1782 The United States and Britain signed preliminary peace 
 articles in Paris, ending the Revolutionary War. 
1803 Spain completed the process of ceding Louisiana to France. 
1838 Three days after the French occupation of Vera Cruz Mexico 
 declared war on France. 
1853 During the Crimean War, the Russian fleet attacked and 
 destroyed the Turkish fleet at the battle of Sinope. 
1858 John Landis Mason received a patent for the first pepper 
 shaker with a screw-on cap. 
1875 A.J. Ehrichson patented the oat-crushing machine. 
1897 Thomas Edison's own motion picture projector had its 
 first commercial exhibition. 
1936 London's famed Crystal Palace was destroyed in a fire. 
 The structure had been constructed for the International 
 Exhibition of 1851. 
1939 The Russo-Finnish War began when 20 divisions of Soviet 
 troops invaded Finland. 
1949 Chinese Communists captured Chungking. 
1954 In Sylacauga, AL, Elizabeth Hodges was injured when a 
 meteorite crashed through the roof of her house. The rock 
 weighed 8½-pounds. 
1956 CBS replayed the program "Douglas Edward and the News" 
 three hours after it was received on the West Coast. It was 
 the world's first broadcast via videotape. 
1966 The former British colony of Barbados became independent. 
1986 "Time" magazine published an interview with U.S. President 
 Reagan. In the article, Reagan described fired national security 
 staffer Oliver North as a "national hero." 
1988 Kohlberg Kravis Roberts and Co. took over RJR Nabisco Inc. 
 with a bid of $24.53 billion. 
1993 U.S. President Clinton signed into law the Brady Bill. The 
 bill required a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases 
 and background checks of prospective buyers. 
1995 President Clinton became the first U.S. chief executive 
 to visit Northern Ireland. 
1998 The Deutsche Bank AG announced that it would acquire Bankers 
 Trust Corp. for $10.1 billion creating the world's largest 
 financial institution. 
2001 For the first time in it's history, McDonald's teamed up 
 with a retail partner on its Happy Meal promotions. Toys R Us 
 provided plush figures from it's Animal Alley. 
2015  smiled.


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Extra characters 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, November 29

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Mexican delegate to dope laws reform conference charged with possession of bath salts after he was found naked in a flower bed Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 29, in 1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a militia led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 400 peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had surrendered, given up all their weapons and had been given orders to camp there. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ At the worst, a house unkept cannot be so distressing as a life unlived. --- Dame Rose Macaulay (1881 - 1958) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings." "I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. "You should try some Tums and eat properly!" ______________________________________________________ One nun is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants? SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So, the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me. SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?? SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And?? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run a lot faster than a man with his pants down! (...And, for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Mary's...! ) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: Icy park ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Hector Anaya Segura, 29, in jail in Arlington, Virginia
Mexican delegate to dope laws reform conference charged with possession of bath salts after he was found naked in a flower bed A man visiting the Washington, D.C. area for a conference on drug reforms was charged with possession of the drug bath salts after police found him completely naked in a flower bed, police sources told News4. Police took 29-year-old Hector Anaya Segura into custody after responding to a call for a naked man in a flower bed on Crystal Drive in the Crystal City neighborhood of Arlington, Virginia, just after midnight Sunday. Segura was sweating profusely, screaming profanities and began pounding on a police cruiser, sources said. Officers attempted to subdue him without violence, then used a Taser unsuccessfully, sources said. A Taser was used again after the first attempt seemed to have no effect. Segura, a Mexican citizen, was in town for the 2015 International Drug Policy Reform Conference at the Crystal Gateway Marriott. The event brings together people who think the war on drugs does more harm than good. Segura also is charged with disorderly conduct.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jessica Re: Extra characters Dear Webby, You mentioned a program once for all the odd keys and symbols like 3/4 and micro, etc. I didn't need it then, so I didn't download it. Can you please give me the link again? Thanks Jessica Dear Jessica ExtraKeys is at www.deeproot.co.uk/extrakeys.html It is free. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ "I hope you didn't take it personally, Reverend," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon." "I did find it rather disconcerting," the preacher replied. "It's not a reflection on you, sir," she insisted. "Ralph has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mexican Black Beans This simple yet scrumptious side dish, and will be you're new pal for when you're in pinch and need something easy : ) Approximate Time: 1 hour 10 minutes Yield: A lot! Ingredients: 2 cups dried black beans 4 cups water Queso Fresco cheese Ortega hot sauce 1 Tbsp salt (plus salt to taste) Steps: Bring water to a boil. Mexican Black Beans Then pour in beans, along with salt. Cook for one hour or until tender. When beans are done, strain out all of the water with a strainer. Then mash beans with whatever will do the job (Note: You do not have to mash them all the way). And that's all! Just top with the cheese and hot sauce, plus salt and you're all set! Enjoy : ) Mexican Black Beans By luciere100 [14] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A group of women were talking together. One woman said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40 on a Sunday." Another said, "That's nothing. Sometimes our congregation is down to six or seven." A maiden lady in her seventies added her bit, "Why, it's so bad in our church on Sundays that when the minister says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush." ___________________________________________________
Tim Hawkins - Old Rock Stars
____________________________________________________ The FORCE The force is like Duct Tape - it has a dark side, it has a light side, and it binds the universe together! ____________________________________________________ If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough If OUGH stands for O as in Dough If PHTH stands for T as in Phthisis If EIGH stands for A as in Neighbor If TTE stands for T as in Gazette If EAU stands for O as in Plateau Then the right way to spell POTATO should be: GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I'd like for all you guys to think that I'm not a total klutz, but sometimes even I wonder. So I tried to lick an envelope the other day for a Christmas card, and it wouldn't seal. It was a brand new envelope too. It was about then that I noticed the strip to peel off. Noella ____________________________________________________
The fall leaves are absolutely breathtaking from this ancient Ginkgo tree in China.

Today, November 29, in
1864 The Sand Creek Massacre occurred in Colorado when a 
 militia led by Colonel John Chivington, killed at least 
 400 peaceful Cheyenne and Arapaho Indians who had 
 surrendered, given up all their weapons and had been 
 given orders to camp there. 
1892 A patent was issued to Almon Brown Strowger for the 
 rotary dial instrument. 
1929 The first airplane flight over the South Pole was made 
 by U.S. Navy Lt. Comdr. Richard E. Byrd. 
1939 The USSR broke off diplomatic relations with Finland 
 prior to a Soviet attack, after which Finland asked germany 
 for military help. When WWII was almost over and it was
 quite obvious that the Allies would win, Finland switched 
 sides and told germany to leave.
1945 The monarchy was abolished in Yugoslavia and a republic 
 proclaimed. 
1947 The U.N. General Assembly passed a resolution that called 
 for the division of Palestine between Arabs and Jews. 
1961 The Mercury-Atlas 5 spacecraft was launched by the U.S. 
 with Enos the chimp on board. The craft orbited the earth twice 
 before landing off Puerto Rico. 
1963 A Trans-Canada Airlines DC-8F with 111 passengers and 7 crew 
 members crashed in woods north of Montreal 4 minutes after 
 takeoff from Dorval Airport. All aboard were killed.
1963 U.S. President Johnson named a commission headed by Earl 
 Warren to investigate the assassination of President Kennedy. 
1967 U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert S. McNamara announced 
 that he was leaving the Johnson administration to become 
 president of the World Bank. 
1974 In Britain, a bill that outlawed the Irish Republican Army 
 became effective. 
1975 Bill Gates adopted the name Microsoft for the company he 
 and Paul Allen had formed to write the BASIC computer language 
 for the Altair. 
1982 The U.N. General Assembly voted that the Soviet Union should 
 withdraw its troops from Afghanistan. At that time the CIA was
 training and arming the Taliban aganst the Russians and the Afghan
 government.
1986 Actor Cary Grant died at the age of 82. 
1987 A Korean jetliner disappeared off Burma, with 115 people. 
1987 Cuban detainees released 26 hostages they'd been holding for
 more than a week at the Federal Detention Center in Oakdale, LA. 
1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the rights of criminal 
 defendants are not violated when police unintentionally fail to 
 preserve potentially vital evidence. 
1989 In Czechoslovakia, the Communist-run parliament ended the 
 party's 40-year monopoly on power. 
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to authorize military action 
 if Iraq did not withdraw its troops from Kuwait and release all 
 foreign hostages by January 15, 1991. 
1991 17 people were killed in a 164-vehicle wreck during a dust 
 storm near Coalinga, CA, on Interstate 5.
1994 Fighter jets attacked the capital of Chechnya and its airport 
 only hours after Russian President Boris Yeltsin demanded the 
 breakaway republic end its civil war. 
1996 A U.N. court sentenced Bosnian Serb army soldier Drazen 
 Erdemovic to 10 years in prison for his role in the massacre of 
 1,200 Muslims. The sentence was the first international war crimes 
 sentence since World War II. 
1998 Swiss voters overwhelmingly rejected legalizing heroin and 
 other narcotics. 
2008 In China, construction on the Shanghai Tower began. 
2015  smiled.


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Why would Verizon switch to AOL 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, November 28

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NJ woman charged with filing false report Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 27, in 1520 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the Pacific Ocean after passing through the South American strait. The strait was named after him. He was the first European to sail the Pacific from the east. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ [Abstract art is] a product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered. --- Al Capp (1909 - 1979) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An old Sailor and an old Marine were sitting at the VFW arguing about who'd had the tougher career. "I did 30 years in the Corps," the Marine declared proudly, "and fought in three of my country's wars. Fresh out of boot camp I hit the beach at Okinawa, clawed my way up the bloodsoaked sand, and eventually took out an entire enemy machine gun nest with a single grenade. "As a sergeant, I fought in Korea alongside General MacArthur. We pushed back the enemy inch by bloody inch all the way up to the Chinese border. "Finally, as a gunny sergeant, I did three consecutive combat tours in Vietnam and survived." "Ah," said the Sailor with a dismissive wave of his hand, "just shore duty, huh?" And the fight was on. ______________________________________________________ This one is long, but several people have asked for it, so here it is again: REDNECK TIPS FOR ALL OCCASIONS 1. If you take beer to a job interview, bring some for the interviewer too.. 2. If they are not wearing a game warden's uniform, try to identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church. 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. 5. Don't use the dead fridges in your front yard for sighting in your guns. They are too close. Use your neighbor's fridges for that. DINING OUT 1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the bouquet of the wine. 2) Except at the drive in it's considered fashionable to take the bottle out of the paper bag. 3. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label. ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME 1. For table centerpieces stuffed animals are a lot nicer than roadkill.. 2. Do not allow the dog to sit on the table...he should sit on a chair or milk crate like everybody else 3) The chair with the most legs is for visitors. PERSONAL HYGIENE 1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys. 2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of beer money. 3. Dirt and grease under the fingers is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods. DATING (Outside the Family) 1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date. 2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago." 3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time. THEATER ETIQUETTE 1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended. 2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you. 3) No matter how real a game warden looks on the screen, don't shoot in the movie. It gives the person in front of you a terrible ear ache. WEDDINGS 1. Livestock, is a poor choice for a wedding gift, unless it is yours. 2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot. 3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance. 4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion. DRIVING ETIQUETTE 1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight. 2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way. 3. Never tow another car using duct tape. Use pantyhose instead. 4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer. 5. Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving. 6. Do not shoot any game while traveling in a funeral procession. 7. It's OK to put the beer in the air-conditioned hearse, but it is tacky to strap the coprse on the roof to make more room for more beer. ______________________________________________________ Moon by Kenny Rogers, published on FaceBook ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Hayley Oates 25, Wayne, NJ photo courtesy of Wayne police
NJ woman charged with filing false report A Morris County woman allegedly made a false 911 call in order to divert police away from the bar where she and a friend were drinking so they could leave and not be caught driving drunk. Police said that Hayley Oates, 25, posted on social media after she called 911: “lmao.. 2 mins later the cop peals out..silly piggies tricks r for u,” Oates was arrested Thursday and charged with filing false reports to law enforcement and creating a false public alarm, Martin said. She was released pending a court appearance. Martin called Oates’ alleged actions “inexcusable and reprehensible behavior,” and said police officers place themselves in harm’s way daily responding to real events. Officer Gregory Halligan and Sgt. Donald Davidson were dispatched to Mother's Ale House around 3:15 a.m. Monday morning after the department received a 911 call reporting “a female being attacked in the parking lot.” The caller told the dispatcher that the suspect was in a blue pickup truck before abruptly hanging up. The officers raced to the bar with their lights and sirens activated and found no evidence of an assault and no witnesses, Martin said. The surveillance cameras in the area did not pick up any assault. Detective Sgt. Robert Simpson and Detective Dave Collins determined that Oates allegedly made the fake call to draw officers to Mother’s Ale House while she and an unidentified man could leave the Grasshopper Too without being stopped for driving under the influence, Martin said. Martin noted that Paramus Police Officer Vincent Brock died in a 1993 car crash responding to a prank 911 call about a shooting.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Hester Re: Why would Verizon switch to AOL Dear Webby, I know all of Verizon's users always bitch and complain about them, but somehow they still stay with Verizon. That is the total opposite of AOL. People bitch and complain about AOL users, but those are always defensive and 100% loyal to AOL, no matter how bad a name AOL has. Why would anybody want to mix those two? Hester Dear Hester Verizon wanted the AOL customer list, like Times-Warner did, before they spit them out again. Verizon has already backtracked about forcing their users to switch to AOL adresses. I guess some of them threatened dire consequences. Next might be an option to use Thunderbird instead of the AOL mail interface. Since Verizon makes more money from texting, AOL Instant Messenger will probably be phased out by summer. It will be more fun to watch from a safe distance, than to be a victim of either of those giants. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ In the high school gym, all the girls in the class were lined up against one wall, and all the boys against the opposite wall. Then, every ten seconds, they walked toward each other until they were half the previous distance apart. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were asked, "When will the girls and boys meet?" The mathematician said: "Never." The physicist said: "In an infinite amount of time." The engineer said: "Well... in about two minutes, they'll be close enough for all practical purposes." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts The reason why the word "best" is in the recipe is because this dish always converts the brussels sprouts naysayers by first bite. Deconstructing the sprout by serving it in loose leaf form helps those who compare the little vegetable to "mushy alien heads." Mushy alien heads? Yes! That's what I called them for 28 years! Now, cooked properly, I absolutely adore them. And guess what? This recipe has only three ingredients and takes 10 minutes to make. I have served this at Thanksgiving dinner numerous times and even the little ones loved it. Give it a shot! Approximate Time: 10 minutes Yield: 4 sides Ingredients: 6 large brussels sprouts (or 8 mediums) 2 strips of bacon 5 walnuts salt, pepper, and optional sprinkle of sugar to taste Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Steps: Cut little cone/triangle shapes from the bottoms of the sprouts. Pull off the individual leaves off sprouts and collect in bowl/plate. Chop bacon into tiny cubes and render in a pan on medium heat until crispy. Remove bacon from pan and let rest on paper towel. Leave bacon drippings in pan and add brussels sprouts leaves. Cook for about 5 minutes. If you like your brussels sprouts on the softer, more wilted side, add a teaspoon of water to the pan and cover with lid, cook for an extra minute. I like mine crispy so I don't really do this ;) Chop nuts and add to sprouts. Stir well, add bacon back in. Season with salt and pepper to taste. You wont need much because of the bacon. Sprinkle in a tiny bit of sugar to pull out the caramelized notes, if you like. I do! Serve up and enjoy! By attosa [139] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A loaded mini van pulled in to the only remaining campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils. A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters' father, "That, sir, is some awesome display of teamwork ! What's your system ?" The father replied, "It's quite simple: No one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up." ___________________________________________________
Every scene leaves you wanting to see more
____________________________________________________ The drill sergeant making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: "Today, gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good. Private Peters will be setting the pace on our morning run.' With this the platoon cheered, as Private Peters was a bit overweight and quite slow. But then the drill sergeant finished his statement: "Now for the bad news. Private Peters will be my driver in my new jeep ." ____________________________________________________ (Read this one out loud) Miss Addy asked Johnnie why he was late. You see, at the ranch this here coyote it ate six hens and killed the goat. And last night when Pa heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his gun and said, "That coyote's back again! Stay back, he told all us kids, I wouldn't want ya hurt! He was naked as a jaybird- no pants, no boots, no shirt! To the henhouse there he crawled, like an Injun on the snoop. Then he stuck that double barrel, through the window of the coop. As he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind, Our ol' hound Zeke come asneakin'up behind. And cold-nosed Pa without no warnin'. We been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin'! ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders One of the things that I liked to do when feeling a bit down was to get in my car and drive (gas was cheap back in the 70s). At the time I drove a small Opel Kadet and living in St. Louis, I could start out on I-70, and make connecting highways then drive the circle (about 70 miles) around the city. I’d take the circle once or twice and usually felt better. This particular night I decided to take I-40 west just to see where it went, I’d turn around and come back into the city when I tired. It was a little after midnight. Several miles out, I found a small road that I’d never seen before and I decided to explore it. I’d gone quite a few hundred yards down the road when it narrowed and I realized I was was a long driveway. At that point it was too far to back up, and there was no place to turn around, so I was forced to drive on and turn around when I got to the yard which was at the top of a hill. So late at night, I drove slowly up the hill, hoping to not disturb the people who lived there and was in the process of turning around to go back to the highway when out of the dark came at least five or six men. They rushed my car, pounded on the hood several times while at the same time hollering. I was terrified! Luckily my windows were rolled up and the doors locked. One got close to my window and must have seen my fear in my face, because he immediately stopped and told the others to cool it. It seems that they were expecting a friend to stop by and they thought I was he. That cured me of driving down lonely dark roads at midnight. Noella ____________________________________________________
Who would have thought this dead tree could be so beautiful.

Today, November 28, in
1520 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan reached the 
 Pacific Ocean after passing through the South American 
 strait. The strait was named after him. He was the first 
 European to sail the Pacific from the east. 
1582 William Shakespeare and Anne Hathaway were married. 
1922 Capt. Cyril Turner of the Royal Air Force gave the first 
 public exhibition of skywriting. He spelled out, 
 "Hello USA. Call Vanderbilt 7200" over New York's Times Square. 
1925 The Grand Ole Opry made its radio debut on station WSM. 
1942 In Boston, MA, 491 people died in a fire that destroyed the 
 Coconut Grove. 
1958 The African nation of Chad became an autonomous republic 
 within the French community. 
1963 U.S. President Johnson announced that Cape Canaveral would 
 be renamed Cape Kennedy in honor of his assassinated predecessor. 
 The name was changed back to Cape Canaveral in 1973 by a vote of 
 residents. 
1964 The U.S. launched the space probe Mariner IV from Cape Kennedy 
 on a course set for Mars. 
1978 The Iranian government banned religious marches. 
1979 An Air New Zealand DC-10 flying to the South Pole crashed in 
 Antarctica killing all 257 people aboard. 
1983 The space shuttle Columbia took off with the STS-9 Spacelab 
 in its cargo bay. 
1985 The Irish Senate approved the Anglo-Irish accord concerning 
 Northern Ireland. 
1987 A South African Airways Boeing 747 crashed into the Indian Ocean. 
 All 159 people aboard were killed. 
1990 Margaret Thatcher resigned as prime minister of Britain. 
1992 In King William's Town, South Africa, black militant gunmen 
 attacked a country club killing four people and injuring 20. 
1994 Jeffrey Dahmer, a convicted serial killer, was clubbed to death 
 in a Wisconsin prison by a fellow inmate. 
1994 Norwegian voters rejected European Union membership. 
1995 U.S. President Clinton signed a $6 billion road bill that 
 ended the federal 55 mph speed limit. 
2010 WikiLeaks released to the public more than 250,000 U.S. 
 diplomatic cables. About 100,000 were marked "secret" or 
 "confidential." 
2015  smiled.


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Verizon > AOL 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 27
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Tennessee teacher, who was arrested for having sex with a student half her age for about 5 months. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 27, in 1889 Curtis P. Brady was issued the first permit to drive an automobile through Central Park in New York City. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ A man's respect for law and order exists in precise relationship to the size of his paycheck. --- Adam Clayton Powell Jr. (1908 - 1972) "A man is called selfish not for pursuing his own good, but for neglecting his neighbor's." --- Richard Whately "When I sell liquor, it's called bootlegging; when my patrons serve it on silver trays on Lake Shore Drive, it's called hospitality." --- Al Capone (1899-1947) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sue has the most marvelous recipe for meat loaf! All she has to do is mention it to her husband and he says, "Let's eat out!" ______________________________________________________ A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which the railroad passed. The rancher only wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull. The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the back room of the general store. The attorney for the railroad immediately cornered the rancher and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best selling job, and finally, even though the rancher insisted that a prize bull was worth five times what an ordinary bull is worth, he agreed to be satisfied with just half of what he was asking. After the rancher had signed the release and took the check and cashed it in at the store, the young lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that morning. I didn't have one single witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!" The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that durned bull came home this morning." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Serena Rae Milan 28, Knoxville, Tennessee
Tennessee teacher arrested on sex abuse charges A Knox County teacher was arrested on sexual abuse charges involving a 14 year old student. News outlets report 28-year-old Serena Rae Milan turned herself in to authorities Wednesday at the Roger D. Wilson Detention Facility. A presentment shows she faces multiple charges including statutory rape by an authority figure, solicitation of a minor, sexual exploitation of a minor and sexual activity involving a minor. She worked at Northwest Middle School and resigned in July. The presentment alleges Milan repeatedly engaged in various sexual acts with a 14-year-old student from February to July. In a statement, defense attorney Gregory Isaacs says Milan "intends to accept responsibility for her actions while a teacher in the Knox County Schools system."
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Walter, the Stonecarver Re: Verizon > AOL Dear Webby, Tell the subscribers if they have a Verizon address, they will need to convert it to an AOL address by spring. Walter Dear Walter Considering the dumb stuff they are known for, it is not really a surprise. Your link to Verizon Email explains it all. There has been an update to that: You can continue to use your Verizon address, but you have to register with AOL and use their email system. Thanks to Walter for this alert! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One of my first evenings back from a business trip, my girl's understanding parents left us alone in the living room. Naturally, we did not talk all the time. In the midst of a kiss, I noticed her little sister in her nightgown watching us from the top of the stairway. I told her: "If you will be a good girl and go to bed, I will give you a quarter." Without taking the bribe or saying a word, she ran off but soon was back again. "Here is a dollar," she said. "I wanna watch." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts The reason why the word "best" is in the recipe is because this dish always converts the brussels sprouts naysayers by first bite. Deconstructing the sprout by serving it in loose leaf form helps those who compare the little vegetable to "mushy alien heads." Mushy alien heads? Yes! That's what I called them for 28 years! Now, cooked properly, I absolutely adore them. And guess what? This recipe has only three ingredients and takes 10 minutes to make. I have served this at Thanksgiving dinner numerous times and even the little ones loved it. Give it a shot! Approximate Time: 10 minutes Yield: 4 sides Ingredients: 6 large brussels sprouts (or 8 mediums) 2 strips of bacon 5 walnuts salt, pepper, and optional sprinkle of sugar to taste Best Bacon Brussels Sprouts Steps: Cut little cone/triangle shapes from the bottoms of the sprouts. Pull off the individual leaves off sprouts and collect in bowl/plate. Chop bacon into tiny cubes and render in a pan on medium heat until crispy. Remove bacon from pan and let rest on paper towel. Leave bacon drippings in pan and add brussels sprouts leaves. Cook for about 5 minutes. If you like your brussels sprouts on the softer, more wilted side, add a teaspoon of water to the pan and cover with lid, cook for an extra minute. I like mine crispy so I don't really do this ;) Chop nuts and add to sprouts. Stir well, add bacon back in. Season with salt and pepper to taste. You wont need much because of the bacon. Sprinkle in a tiny bit of sugar to pull out the caramelized notes, if you like. I do! Serve up and enjoy! By attosa [139] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ There was this bank where the employees went on strike leaving the bank officers to do the teller's tasks. While the strike was on, Jane called the bank, and asked if they were open. They told her they had two windows open upstairs in the office area. Then Jane asked, . . . "I'm afraid of heights, couldn't you just let me in though the back door?" ___________________________________________________
power like you've never seen!
____________________________________________________ The judge read the charges, then asked, "Are you the defendant in this case?" "No sir, your honor, sir," replied Jill, "I've got a lawyer to do the defendin'. I'm the person who done it." ____________________________________________________ Sam and Greg, two guys who both could play Santa without having to use a pillow to ensure their circumference is close to the same as their height, are in a pub. Sam indicating his empty glass, says to Greg, "Your round." Sam looks Greg in the eye and says, "So are you, Buddy !" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Thank you to Bonnie in Candia for her blunder: Some years ago I was trying, to remove a label from a 3-liter bottle of cola. As I had done so many times before, I used a very sharp razor blade knife to carefully cut the label. Uh oh! Not careful enough. The bottle exploded. In my kitchen. All OVER my kitchen. Including an open silverware drawer. And the ceiling. The first thing I did was cry. Then I got busy. Real busy. It took me three hours to clean the entire mess, all the while thanking all the angels that it was DIET cola and not sticky. I probably don't need to say that I never, ever tried to do that again! Noella -------------------- The steam from a steam iron set to max and a plastic scraper work very well to get the labels off, even on ancient jam jars. DearWebby ____________________________________________________
An amazing Origami artist. Since I have chickens I especially like the rooster.

Today, November 27, in
1701 Anders Celsius was born in Sweden. 
1889 Curtis P. Brady was issued the first permit to drive 
 an automobile through Central Park in New York City. 
1910 New York's Pennsylvania Station opened. 
1934 The U.S. bank robber George "Baby Face" Nelson was 
 killed by FBI agents near Barrington, IL. 
1978 San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and City Supervisor 
 Harvey Milk, a gay-rights activist, were shot to death inside 
 City Hall by Dan White, a former supervisor. 
1983 183 people were killed when a Colombian Avianca Airlines 
 Boeing 747 crashed near Barajas airport in Madrid. 
1985 The British House of Commons approved the Anglo-Irish 
 accord giving Dublin a consulting role in the governing of 
 British-ruled Northern Ireland. 
1989 107 people were killed when a bomb destroyed a Colombian 
 jetliner minutes after the plane had taken off from Bogota's 
 international airport. Police blamed the incident on drug 
 traffickers. 
1992 In Venezuela, rebel forces tried but failed to overthrow 
 President Carlos Andres Perez for the second time in ten months. 
2008 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) was taken out of 
 service after more than 30 years. The ship was launched on 
 September 20, 1967. 
2015  smiled.


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Help with free trial versions 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 26

If you are in the US, happy Thanksgiving Day!

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NYC man who snorted heroin during police interview Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 26, in 1867 J.B. Sutherland patented the refrigerated railroad car. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Good people are good because they've come to wisdom through failure. --- William Saroyan (1908 - 1981) The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive. --- John Sladek ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two neighbors who had been rivals all their lives followed different career paths. One eventually became an Admiral in the Navy, the other went into the Catholic Church and became a Bishop. As fate would have it, they happened to meet at an Airport. The Bishop spied the Admiral first and said loudly, "Oh porter, from what gate is the flight to Dallas leaving?" The Admiral approached, bowed, and said "Gate 7 Madame, but should you be traveling in your condition ?" ______________________________________________________ A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not nice to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to pee just tell me that you have to 'whisper'." The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his father and during the service said to his father, "Daddy, I have to whisper." The father looked at him and said, "Okay, why don't you whisper in my ear." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Vincent Arcona 27, Medford NY
NYC man who snorted heroin during police interview While in police custody for his alleged connection to a fatal shooting near the so-called "Zombie McDonald's" by Penn Station, "person of interest" Vincent Arcona pulled something interesting out of his person. According to a criminal complaint from the Manhattan DA, Arcona was in a police station interview room when he "reached into his buttocks area" and produced a small package containing heroin. Magic. NYPD Detective Adrian Calemmo says Arcona then placed the heroin on the table in front of him and snorted it. Mission accomplished, he then allegedly tossed the packaging on the floor, under the table, where the detective says he later recovered it. Asked about the packaging, Arcona allegedly admitted that it had previously contained heroin, back when it was up inside his butt. Arcona has not been charged with anything in connection to the fatal shooting yet, but on Saturday he was arraigned on charges of evidence tampering and criminal possession of a controlled substance. He's being held on $25,000 bail. The suspect in the shooting, Francisco Alsina, 23, was reportedly arrested in Rhode Island on Friday and is awaiting extradition back to NYC. Investigators believe he fatally shot Angel Quiñones, 43, and wounded two others last Monday morning during a dispute over drug dealing turf.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Problem with free trial Dear Webby, Hi Webby - Wanted to tell you about the problem I have been having since I downloaded the free trial of McAfee. About 10 times a day I get a pop up from McAfee stating my firewall is off. I have to go to there and turn it on again. It just doesn't seem to stay on. Today I got a notice that my computer has not been protected for the last 15 days which is about when I downloaded the free trial version and I only has about 2 weeks left for my free version. Any help with this problem would be appreciated or an 800 number that I could call to speak to someone for help. Thanks again, Wendy Dear Wendy I have used the paid version since 1987, and don't really know anything about the free version. Re the FireWall: You probably have set Windows to use the Windows FireWall. That clashes with the McAfee Firewall. Tech Support with most companies usually just works for the paid version. I doubt that McAfee is an exception there. However, you can try sneaking in through this Back Door Have the email you used to sign up handy. Keep in mind, if you DO get any support for the free trial, it is probably very low wage Taliban, who are paid by the minute. They will waste endless time just identifying you and your version. When you are ready to get the full version, don't try to sneak around me. You'll wind up paying full price. Get it via http://webby.com/mac at half price. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A priest went into a Washington, D.C. barbershop and got his hair cut. He then asked how much he owed the barber. "No charge, Father," the barber said. "I consider it a service to the Lord." When the barber arrived at his shop the next morning, he found a dozen small prayer booklets on the stoop along with a thank you note from the priest. A few days later, a police officer came in. "How much do I owe you?" the cop asked after his haircut. "No charge, officer," the barber answered. "I consider it a service to my community." The next morning the barber found a dozen doughnuts on the stoop along with a thank you note from the police officer. A few days after that, a Senator walked in for a haircut. "How much do I owe you?" he asked afterward. "No charge," the barber replied. "I consider it a service to my country." The next morning when he arrived at the shop, the barber found a dozen Senators waiting on the stoop. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Paper Towel as Coffee Filter Substitute While staying at my son's cottage in a remote area, I ran out of coffee filters this morning. It didn't take me long to try a basic (Bounty 1/2) sheet and it worked wonderfully in the coffeemaker. By Esther C. [2] Rinsing used coffee filters works fine too. I don't like throwing wet grounds into the garbage, because that promotes rotting and smelling, and because the myth that coffee grounds are good for plants is BS, I often just rinse used coffee filters and drape them over a plastic can to dry. They are surprisingly strong and durable. Plumbers claim that rinsing coffee grounds down the drain helps keeping it clean and from ever stopping up. I have to agree. The only stopped up kitchen sink I have ever seen was in cartoons. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ While working as a volunteer at our local Boy Scout Council office, one of the professional staff -- who was wearing street clothes instead of her usual uniform -- was talking about the International Phonetic Alphabet. She said that she had learned it some years ago and proceeded to recite it. "Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta..." When she got to the letter "U," she stumbled and asked for help. I offered a hint: "What *aren't* you wearing today?" "Oh, Underwear !" she replied ___________________________________________________
Top Secret drum corp - Edinburgh Military Tattoo 2012
____________________________________________________ The following classified ad was in the Austin American Statesman newspaper, under the pets & livestock, exotic animal section, on Wednesday, 09/10/1997: PETS & LIVESTOCK - Exotic Animals Mixed breed female free to good home. Lazy and sloppy, shots current, more or less house broken, has license, owns transportation. Enjoys music, dancing & late hours, seldom is home. Beautiful markings, 22 yr old, sometimes answers to `Dorothy.' Call DP# 625-1448. Mother is fed up and wants to clean house. ____________________________________________________ One day came home from school and said: "Dad, today I learned that we are all descendants of the apes." "NOT TRUE!", his father thundered, but then conceded: "Well, YOU might be a descendant of an ape, but I am NOT!" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Thanks to my sister Rita for her blunder My husband Milt wanted hard-boiled eggs so we got out half a dozen and put them in warm water to warm them up a bit before boiling. About a half hour later, I passed the pan and turned on the burner. I went to the computer to check Facebook for a bit and then to the couch to watch TV but since I was sleepy I closed my eyes. An hour later, I awoke to the smell of cooking and figured Milt was getting something to eat. After a few minutes, I heard popping and then I was looking forward to popcorn. There was a really LOUD pop. As I jumped up, Milt asked what on earth was going on. We rushed to the kitchen and found the pan had boiled dry with eggs still cooking and popping open and splattering all over the kitchen. We had managed to cook, crack, pop open and chop up the eggs all in one step. It may be a while before we get the smell of burnt eggs out of here. Rita Noella ____________________________________________________
An artist in pumpkin carving.

Today, November 26, in
1716 The first lion to be exhibited in America went on display 
 in Boston, MA. 
1789 U.S. President Washington set aside this day to observe 
 the adoption of the Constitution of the United States. 
1832 Public streetcar service began in New York City. 
1867 J.B. Sutherland patented the refrigerated railroad car. 
1917 The National Hockey League (NHL) was officially formed 
 in Montreal, Canada. 
1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter peered into the tomb of King 
 Tutankhamen. 
1940 The Nazis forced 500,000 Jews of Warsaw, Poland to live 
 within a walled ghetto. 
1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a bill 
 establishing the fourth Thursday in November as Thanksgiving 
 Day. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt ordered nationwide 
 gasoline rationing to begin December 1. 
1942 The motion picture "Casablanca" had its world premiere
1943 The HMS Rohna became the first ship to be sunk by a guided 
 missile. The German missile attack led to the death of 
 1,015 U.S. troops. 
1950 China entered the Korean conflict forcing UN forces to 
 retreat. 
1958 Maurice Richard (Montreal Canadiens) scored his 600th NHL 
 career goal. 
1965 France became the third country to enter space when it 
 launched its first satellite the Diamant-A. 
1975 Lynette"Squeaky" Fromme was found guilty by a federal jury 
 in Sacramento, CA, for trying to assassinate U.S. President Ford 
 on September 5. 
1979 The International Olympic Committee voted to re-admit China 
 after a 21-year absence. 
1983 A Brinks Mat Ltd. vault at London's Heathrow Airport was 
 robbed by gunmen. The men made off with 6,800 gold bars worth 
 nearly $40 million. Only a fraction of the gold has ever been 
 recovered and only two men were convicted in the heist. 
1985 The rights to Richard Nixon's autobiography were acquired 
 by Random House for $3,000,000. 
1986 U.S. President Reagan appointed a commission headed by 
 former Sen. John Tower to investigate his National Security 
 Council staff after the Iran-Contra affair. 
1988 The U.S. denied an entry visa to PLO chairman Yasser Arafat, 
 who was seeking permission to travel to New York to address 
 the U.N. General Assembly. 
1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev met with Iraqi Foreign 
 Minister Tariq Aziz at the Kremlin to demand that Iraq withdraw 
 from Kuwait. 
1990 Matsushita Electric Industrial Co. agreed to acquire MCA Inc. 
 for $6.6 billion. 
1992 The British government announced that Queen Elizabeth II had 
 volunteered to start paying taxes on her personal income. She 
 also took her children off the public payroll. 
1995 Two men set fire to a subway token booth in the Brooklyn 
 borough of New York City. The clerk inside was fatally burned. 
1998 Hulk Hogan announced that he was retiring from pro wrestling 
 and would run for president in 2000. 
2003 The U.N. atomic agency adopted a resolution that censured Iran 
 for past nuclear cover-ups and warning that it would be policed 
 to put to rest suspicions that the country had a weapons agenda. 
2011 The Mars Science Laboratory/Curiosity spacecraft launched from 
 Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL. The Mars rover Curiosity 
 landed on the floor of Gale Crater on August 6, 2012. 
2015  smiled.


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Get rid of installed programs 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 25

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Texas man arrested for assaulting his girlfriend because she would not smell his armpits. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 25, in 1715 Sybilla Thomas Masters became the first American to be granted an English patent for cleaning and curing Indian corn. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. --- Sam Levenson ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The following was overheard at a recent party. "My ancestry goes all the way back to Alexander the Great," said one lady. She then turned to a second woman and asked, "How far does your family go back?" "I don't know," was the reply. "All of our records were lost in the flood." ______________________________________________________ Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Robinson Pinilla-Bolivar 24, Midland, Texas
Texas man arrested for assaulting his girlfriend because she would not smell his armpits. A man in Midland, Texas was arrested on charges of assault for allegedly assaulting his girlfriend for refusing to smell his armpit. According to News West 9, 24-year-old Robinson Pinilla-Bolivar asked his girlfriend to smell his armpit, and when she refused, an argument erupted. During the argument, police said Pinilla-Bolivar punched the woman in the back of the head and attempted to stab her with a knife. The victim fled to the office of the apartment complex the pair was in. Police said Pinilla-Bolivar then began dragging the woman from the office, but fled when he learned police had been notified and officers were en route. He was later arrested amid a traffic stop and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jean Re: Get rid of installed programs Dear Webby, My internet experience is severely limited in comparison to yours. I have only worked with two email systems. One a government mainframe, that was obsolete even before it went online, and Yahoo. Consequently, Yahoo is far superior in my opinion. I have used it for years and years. With the exception of a few mishaps, I am content to work with Yahoo's time frame/system. I do have annoyances with the viruses, & etcetera, I've managed to find but have been able to survive. I appreciate your concern about my inability and/or desire not to change. I am one of those, "if it works, don't fix it" types. Plus I hate change. Being on the internet, this is not a good quality, but it is me. I do have a gmail account but have not been able to access it. If I cannot access it, what good is it? Now to the problem: You are talking way above my head here. How does one find out what AVG calls the add-on? How does one find if McAfee has the add on? Or if it is an Add-on from Firefox? I like easiest first please. I apologize for my ignorance but all my training has been in different areas and hasn't melded together yet. Thank you for your patience. Did Facebook ever allow your DearWebby page back on line? From what little I have read on it, very little that is, they should have. I am not good there either. Sincerely, Janice Dear Janice I can understand your desire to not change. I have used Eudora for email since 1993, and don't plan to change in the forseeable future. With your Gmail account, come onto Skype and I will step you through setting that up correctly. I use a Gmail account on the side and know how it works. My Skype handle is dearwebby. Re the AVG add-on, first check FireFox Add-Ons. Click on the 3 horizontal bars for the menu. Click on the icon, that looks like a puzzle piece. That shows all your add-ons. If you see any in there, that you are not using any more, remove them. That should make it easier to search through them and spot anything related to AVG. When you find that, remove it. Weeding out the add-ons will speed up your browsing quite nicely. If you still get the AVG nuisance on the browser tabs or icons, then you have to get nasty. Click on START Paste into the run line: appwiz.cpl and hit ENTER. After a while "Programs and Features" from Control Panel, All Control Panel Items, Programs and Features, opens. It's just a shortcut. If you prefer, you can slowly mouse to there. Once that has opened, you can look at all the applications installed. Look for anything starting with AVG. Unless you are planning to get McAfee, don't remove the AVG virus scanner. Look for something like "AVG Web". Once you have removed that, your FireFox won't trundle all the way back to AVG's server to check if a web site has been approved by them. If somebody often goes to dangerous sites, then they should install Malwarebytes. It checks sites quite fast and unobtrusively. Re FaceBook: No, they still insist that I use my passport name, not the name everybody knows me by. Well, that saves me at least five minutes a day. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Jenifer's big formal wedding was fast approaching and she was delighted to hear that her Mom, Sheilah, just after a nasty divorce, had finally found the perfect mother-of-the-bride dress. Two days later, she was shocked to learn that her father's new wife, Fawn, had purchased the same dress. She asked her Fawn to buy another dress since her Mom had already altered hers to fit better. Fawn refused. After two more weeks of frustrating shopping, Sheila found a dress that was not as nice as the first, but would serve. When asked by a friend what she would do with her original dress, she grinned and replied, "I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Clothespin to Store Earbuds This is a great tip I found on Pinterest to keep earbuds from getting tangled in a drawer or your purse. Put the earbuds in the space where the clamp opens. Wind the wires around the prongs. Weave in the end so it doesn't unravel. Source: Pinterest By Judy [26] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ >From Jean Michigan State Police announced the discovery of an arms cache of 200 semi-automatic rifles, along with 250,000 rounds of ammunition, 10 anti-tank missiles, 4 grenade launchers, two tons of heroin, $12 million in cash, and a ring of 14 prostitutes, all in a housing project behind the Detroit Public Library. Detroit folks were stunned. A community organizer said, "We is shocked" "We never knew we had a library." ___________________________________________________
blooming cacti
____________________________________________________ >From Elsie Two men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job was done. As they were getting ready to leave, I asked them to put the heavy appliances back in place. The two men demanded $45 for this service, stating it was not in their contract. I really had no choice but to pay them. Shortly after they left, however, the doorbell rang. It was the two men. They asked me to move my car, which was blocking their van. I told them that was not in the contract, but that I would gladly do it for $50. ____________________________________________________ One day a father called his 6 children together and asked, "Now tell me, who has been most obedient during last week and did everything mother asked?" In one voice they all replied, "You, daddy." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Thanks to Linda B for her blunder today: I was visiting some friends who live at the Grand Canyon. Missing my own dog, I took theirs for a short walk. It was getting dark, and let me just say, when it gets dark out there, it gets DARK! Not even starlight because of the cloud cover. Their street was basically a circle so what could go wrong? Besides I could use the flashlight on my cell phone. However, I discovered my cell phone battery was as close to dead as it could get. Next thing I knew I was lost - on a circle street! The only available light was from passing cars, which I was trying to flag down hoping to see if anyone could tell me my location. At one point a car looked liked it was headed straight for us, so we stepped off the road and fell smack into a ditch! My first inkling that I wouldn't be walking anywhere was after crawling out and trying to put my weight on my ankle - it just flopped over. I kept trying to flag down cars, and before long a Ranger stopped; then more appeared. At that point, everything stopped, traffic and all. One ranger took the dog home, another wrote the report and two more stopped traffic. I swear they multiplied right before my eyes! A little over an hour and three ambulances later I arrived at the hospital in Flagstaff. Both bones in my ankle were broken, and my heel had been pushed forward and so far to the left it might as well have been in Utah. Of course none of that mattered, because by then I was higher than a kite and everything was hysterically funny! They have good drugs in those ambulances, and even better ones in the hospital. My happy ending: After a couple of months in physical therapy, I'm walking without assistance and without a limp! Linda Noella ____________________________________________________
This Grave In Paris Is Packing A Secret.

Today, November 25, in
1715 Sybilla Thomas Masters became the first American to 
 be granted an English patent for cleaning and curing 
 Indian corn. 
1758 During the French and Indian War, the British captured 
 Fort Duquesne at what is now known as Pittsburgh. 
1783 During the Revolutionary War, the British evacuated 
 New York. New York was their last military position in 
 the U.S. 
1837 William Crompton patented the silk power loom. 
1850 Texas relinquished one-third of its territory in 
 exchange for $10 million from the U.S. to pay its public 
 debts and settle border disputes. 
1867 Alfred Nobel patented dynamite. 
1884 J.B. Meyenberg received the patent for evaporated milk. 
1936 The Anti-Comintern Pact, an agreement between Japan 
 and Germany, was signed. 
1947 Movie studio executives meeting in New York agreed to 
 blacklist the "Hollywood 10," who were cited a day earlier 
 and jailed for contempt of Congress when they failed to 
 cooperate with the House Un-American Activities Committee. 
1955 In the U.S., the Interstate Commerce Commission banned 
 racial segregation on interstate trains and buses. 
1970 Japanese author Yukio Mishima committed ritual suicide 
 after giving a speech attacking Japan's post-war constitution. 
1976 O.J. Simpson (Buffalo Bills) ran for 273 yards against 
 the Detroit Lions. 
1983 Mediators from Syria and Saudi Arabia announced a cease-fire
 in the PLO civil war in Lebanon. 
1986 U.S. President Reagan and Attorney Gen. Edwin Meese 
 revealed that profits from secret arms sales to Iran had been 
 diverted to rebels in Nicaragua. National Security Advisor 
 John Poindexter resigned and Oliver North was fired. 
1990 Poland held its first popular presidential election. 
1992 The Czech parliament voted to split the country into separate 
 Czech and Slovak republics beginning January 1, 1993. 
1993 Egyptian Prime Minister Atef Sedki escaped an attempt 
 on his life when a bomb was detonated by Islamic militants 
 near his motorcade. 
1998 Britain's highest court ruled that former Chilean dictator 
 Augusto Pinochet, whose extradition was being sought by Spain, 
 could not claim immunity from prosecution for the crimes he 
 committed during his rule. 
1998 President Jiang Zemin arrived in Tokyo for the first visit 
 to Japan by a Chinese head of state since World War II. 
1998 The IMF (International Monetary Fund) approved a $5.5 
 billion bailout for Pakistan.
2015  smiled.


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AVG nuisance on FireFox 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, November 24

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a California high school teacher arrested for sex with a number of underage boys Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 24, in 1615 French King Louis XIII married Ann of Austria. They were both 14 years old. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ There was a boy of about 8 who was having a horrible time with his grades in school - math was especially bad. His parents tried everything, but nothing worked, so his parents ended up sending him to a school in Canada. Well, when report card time rolled around, his parents took it, and, with much trepidation, opened it little by little...and saw an A, then another A, and another...however, the final grade was the dreaded one - the mathematics... Well, they opened the page, and saw an A! Incredible! They asked their son what had brought the turnaround, especially in that troubling subject. He said, "Well, when I walked into the classroom, and saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they took their math pretty seriously." ______________________________________________________ Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen. "Now, where's my bucket and my water?" Gramma asked him. "I can't get any water from that water hole, Gramma" cried Johnny. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!" "Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!" "Well, Gramma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michelle Yeh, 28, San Pedro, California
California high school teacher arrested for sex with a number of underage boys Former San Pedro High School substitute teacher Michelle Yeh appeared in Long Beach court Friday afternoon facing charges of sex-related allegations involving teenage boys. Yeh looked at the 15-year-old boy on the stand as he told the court about alleged sexual acts with his 28-year-old substitute biology teacher. One incident he testified happened in his bedroom. "We started having sex on the bed, but it was making a lot of noise, so we laid down on the carpet," he said. The boy, not being identified because he's a juvenile, alleged Yeh bought him an Xbox 360 and gave him money for things, including marijuana. Prosecutors allege there were more than 70 text messages between Yeh and that student. The boy is one of four alleged victims testifying in a Long Beach courtroom. Yeh plead not guilty in August to felony charges, including oral sex and unlawful sex with a minor under 16 involving two boys. She's also facing misdemeanor charges involving two other teenage boys. Yeh is in custody after allegedly violating a court order last month by texting one of the alleged victims. If convicted, Yeh could face up to nine years and eight months in prison.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Janice Re: AVG nuisance on FireFox Dear Webby, Question: My Firefox icon managed to get an AVG shield attached to it. This makes a request every time I log into the internet to make changes. It is very annoying. How can I unattached the little debugger to keep it from slowing the internet process? Janice McAfee has had a WebShield for many years, and AVG decided to copy that. Unfortunately, their copy is rather slow, especially so when you are already handicapped by Yahoo. Try to find out what exactly AVG calls that add-on, and then dump it. You should be able to UNinstall it from the control panel, programs. Depending on how closely they copied McAfee, it will be a separate application, and UNinstalling it will not kill your regular AVG. It might even be an ADD-On in FireFox. Check that first, since that would be the easiest. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A woman from the southern part of Alabama goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word. She pauses, reflects and then says, "Well, then, let it read, 'Billy Bob died'." Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor says, "Sorry ma'am, there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries." Only a little flustered, she thinks things over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read, 'Billy Bob died - 1983 Pick-up for sale.'" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Motion Detector Lights for Home Security Exterior motion detecting lights do not cost a great deal more than other types of outside lighting. Of course, they're sometimes activated by leaves blown about by the wind, but I particularly like them for the back of the house as well as the alley. Battery operated smaller versions are available for interior windows and don't require mounting or electronic know-how: simply put them on the window ledge. Anyone peering in hoping for a closer look at your possessions or wanting to break in will be under a spotlight and, if you're awake, the light going on will alert you to a potential intruder. Depending on your level of concern, consider investing in noise-making motion detectors (which can cost as little as $10 each) for your ground floor and/or basement windows. Make a note to check or replace the batteries on a regular basis. By Rose Anne Hutchence [7] You can even get motion detector (plastic) dogs, that produce a very credible bark. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face."Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?" ___________________________________________________
The KFPS Royal Friesian Horse
The KFPS Royal Friesian Horse ____________________________________________________ A 93 year old man went to his doctor to get a physical. A week later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with an attractive young woman on his arm. At the man's next visit, the doctor said, "I saw you with a lady the other day. You're really doing great, aren't you?" The man replied, "Just doing what you said Doc, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful'." The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful." "Too late! I like my version a lot better." ____________________________________________________ "So, what's the matter?" asked one woman of her friend over coffee. "I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong," the second woman answered. "First, he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. "All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, I ended up catching a lot of fish, and HE didn't catch any!" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Thanks to Karyn for today's blunder: I do love my hair, but it is really, really wild! It's so wild, in fact, that I have to watch and make sure it gets in the car after me so I don't close the door on my hair. One day, however, when I got back to work from lunch, I noticed people were looking at me funny and sniffing. Finally, someone asked me what I'd had to eat. It was then that I realized the sardines I'd had for lunch were all in my hair! Ugh!!!! Karyn Noella ____________________________________________________
Everyone loves a parade and the Fijian police parade looks like a lot of fun.

Today, November 24, in
1615 French King Louis XIII married Ann of Austria. They were 
 both 14 years old. 
1859 Charles Darwin, a British naturalist, published "On the 
 Origin of Species." It was the paper in which he explained his 
 theory of evolution through the process of natural selection. 
1863 During the Civil War, the battle for Lookout Mountain 
 began in Tennessee. 
1871 The National Rifle Association was incorporated in the U.S. 
1874 Joseph F. Glidden was granted a patent for a barbed 
 fencing material. 
1903 Clyde J. Coleman received the patent for an electric 
 self-starter for an automobile. 
1940 Nazis closed off the Jewish ghetto in Warsaw, Poland. Over 
 the next three years the population dropped from 350,000 to 
 70,000 due to starvation, disease and deportations to 
 concentration camps. 
1944 During World War II, the first raid against the Japanese 
 capital of Tokyo was made by land-based U.S. bombers. 
1947 The "Hollywood 10," were cited for contempt of Congress 
 for refusing to answer questions about alleged Communist 
 influence in their industry. 
1963 Dallas nightclub owner Jack Ruby shot and killed Lee Harvey 
 Oswald live on national television. 
1969 Apollo 12 landed safely in the Pacific Ocean bringing an 
 end to the second manned mission to the moon. 
1971 Hijacker Dan Cooper, known as D.B. Cooper, parachuted from 
 a Northwest Airlines 727 over Washington state with 
 $200,000 in ransom. 
1983 The Palestine Liberation Organization released six Israeli 
 prisoners in exchange for the release of 4,500 Palestinians 
 and Lebanese held by the Israelis. 
1985 In Malta, Egyptian commandos stormed an Egyptian jetliner. 
 60 people died in the raid. 
1987 The U.S. and the Soviet Union agreed to scrap short- and 
 medium-range missiles. It was the first superpower treaty to 
 eliminate an entire class of nuclear weapons. 
1989 Czechoslovakia's hard-line party leadership resigned 
 after more than a week of protests against its policies. 
1992 In China, a domestic jetliner crashed, killing 141 people. 
1993 The U.S. Congress gave its final approval to the Brady 
 handgun control bill. 
1993 Robert Thompson and Jon Venables (both 11 years old) were 
 convicted of murdering 2-year-old James Bulger of Liverpool, 
 England. They were both sentenced to "indefinite detention" 
 but released after 5 years.
1995 In Ireland, the voters narrowly approved a constitutional 
 amendment legalizing divorce. 
1996 Rusty Wallace won the first NASCAR event to be held in Japan. 
1998 AOL (America Online) announced a deal for their purchase of 
 Netscape for $4.21 billion, which they promptly killed and used
 Internet Explorer instead.
2015  smiled.


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No question 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 23

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a drunk Florida woman arrested in a grease dumpster Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 23, in 1889 The first jukebox made its debut in San Francisco, at the Palais Royale Saloon. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ It's kind of fun to do the impossible. --- Walt Disney (1901 - 1966) Man is the only animal that goes to sleep when he's not sleepy and gets up when he is. --- Dave Gneiser ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A woman stood inside the front door, her arms full of coats. Four small children scurried around her. Her husband, coming down the stairs, asked why she was standing there. "Here," she said, handing him the coats. "This time you put the children into their coats, and I'll go outside and honk the horn." ______________________________________________________ An expert on whales was telling friends about some of the unusual findings he had made. "For instance," he said, "some whales can communicate at a distance of three hundred miles." A sarcastic member of the group asked, "What on earth would one whale say to another, three hundred miles away?" "I'm not absolutely sure," answered the expert, "but it sounds something like 'Heeeeeeey! Can you hear me nowwww?'!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anna Marzita Shinkle, 54, Fort Myers, Florida
Drunk Florida woman falls asleep in grease dumpster Anna Marzita Shinkle is charged with drunken disorderly conduct and resisting an officer after falling asleep at the Lani Kai Island Resort's grease dumpster just before 2 a.m. Saturday, according to an Lee County Sheriff's Office report. "The female was unresponsive and covered in grease with a shirt on and her pants down at her ankles," the report states. The deputy woke her up, told her he was a deputy sheriff and that the fire department was also there to help her. She responded "by stating 'go **** yourself'...then continuously stuck her middle finger up at him." and he said it didn't end there adding "she was going to cut us and **** us up." "The fire department attempted to assist the woman, but she held onto the grease dumpster making it extremely difficult to remove her." According to the report, deputies and firefighters, "warned the female that if she did not comply she would be tased... as soon as the female threatened us again and took an aggressive fighting stance, I tased the female." She then complied with officers, was transported to Health Park hospital "to have the taser probes removed" and went to jail. Shinkle is out on bond and scheduled to appear in court next month.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Re: no Question Dear Webby, No Answer DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Later, it was question time and she asked, "My name begins with the letter 'M' and I pick up things. What am I?" A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easily Remove Grease from Ground Beef Whenever I browned hamburger meat for tacos, spaghetti, or whatever, I used to take the meat out of the pan, transfer it to a strainer to drain the grease and then return it to the pan to finish cooking. I have found an easier way to handle the excess grease without all the work. This is so much easier and less mess to clean up. Just brown the meat, tilt the frying pan so the grease drains to one side. Take a couple of paper towels and soak up the grease, the more grease there is the more paper towels need to be used. Remove the grease soaked paper towels and discard on a paper plate or some other type of container. Then toss the paper towels in the trash. I use this method all the time now and it's so much easier. By Ida Claire [5] Have FUN! DearWebby Instead of wasting paper towels and burning my fingers I use a plate to hold back the meat, and let the grease drain into a low, empty can, that I give to the birds. Especially in winter they love grease and crumbs. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A passenger jet was suffering through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence, a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her and with a nervous laugh asked, "Reverend, you're a man of God, can't you do something about this storm?" And the minister said, "Lady, I'm in sales, not in tech support." ___________________________________________________
Cooper eats ice cream
Air New Zealand safety video ____________________________________________________ A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her. Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed. When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her. She shot up to 90 miles. The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her. Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies' room. Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out. The three cops were standing there waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it." ____________________________________________________ As the bus pulled away, Cindy realized she had left her purse under the seat. She called the company and was relieved that the driver had found it. When she went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers surrounded her. One man handed her her empty purse, four typewritten pages and a bushel box containing the contents of her purse. "We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there." As she started to put her belongings back into the purse, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse. And we'd like to see just how you do it." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Thanks to Shantell for her blunder submission: I usually fall asleep listening to the sound of thunderstorms and rain. It's an app on my Kindle. One night I got sooo caught up in the sound I got up and covered myself because I thought I was getting wet from the rain. (Bear in mind it was an app playing) Shantell Noella ____________________________________________________
Amazing never seen before creatures from the deep.

Today, November 23, in
1765 Frederick County, MD, repudiated the British Stamp Act. 
1835 Henry Burden patented the horseshoe manufacturing machine. 
1889 The first jukebox made its debut in San Francisco, at 
 the Palais Royale Saloon. 
1890 Princess Wilhelmina became Queen of the Netherlands at 
 the age of 10 when her father William III died. 
1943 During World War II, U.S. forces seized control of 
 Tarawa and Makin from the Japanese during the Central Pacific 
 offensive in the Gilbert Islands. 
1945 The U.S. wartime rationing of most foods ended. 
1948 Dr. Frank G. Back patented the "Zoomar" lens. 
1946 Mound Metalcraft changed its name to Tonka Toys Inc. 
1961 The Dominican Republic changed the name of its capital 
 from Ciudad Trujillo to Santo Domingo. 
1971 The People's Republic of China was seated in the United 
 Nations Security Council. 
1979 In Dublin, Ireland, Thomas McMahon was sentenced to life 
 imprisonment for the assassination of Earl Mountbatten. 
1980 In southern Italy, approximately 4,800 people were killed 
 in a series of earthquakes. 
1983 The first Pershing II missiles were deployed in West 
 Germany. In response, the U.S.S.R. broke off International 
 Nuclear Forces (INF) talks in Geneva. 
1985 Larry Wu-tai Chin, a retired CIA analyst, was arrested 
 and accused of spying for China. He committed suicide a year 
 after his conviction. 
1985 Gunmen hijacked an Egyptian jetliner en route from Athens 
 to Cairo. The plane was forced to land in Malta. 
1988 Wayne Gretzky scored his 600th National Hockey League goal. 
1989 Lucia Barrera de Cerna, a housekeeper who claimed she had 
 witnessed the slaying of six Jesuit priests and two other 
 people at the Jose Simeon Canas University in El Salvador, 
 was flown to the U.S. 
1998 Dennis Rodman filed for an annulment from Carmen Electra. 
 The two had been married on November 14, 1998. 
1998 The tobacco industry signed the biggest U.S. civil settlement. 
 It was a $206-billion deal to resolve remaining state claims 
 for treating sick smokers. 
1998 A U.S. federal judge rejected a Virginia county's effort to 
 block pornography on library computer calling the attempt 
 unconstitutional. 
2010 North Korea shelled Yeonpyeong Island. 
2015  smiled.


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Remove ads from recipes 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, November 22

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Drunk NYC real estatebroker steals taxi. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 22, in 1718 English pirate Edward Teach (a.k.a. "Blackbeard") was killed during a battle off the coast of North Carolina. British soldiers cornered him aboard his ship and killed him. He was shot and stabbed more than 25 times. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand. --- Josh Billings Women only have two complaints. Nothing to wear, and not enough closet space for it." --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 40 years of marriage. During the celebration a fairy appeared! "Because you have been such a loving couple all those years, I would like to give you each one wish." The wife quickly chimed in, "I want to travel around the world." The fairy waved her wand and, POOF! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand and, POOF! He was 90. ______________________________________________________ While at a government office, a voice on the office loudspeaker announced: "We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will work properly in case of emergency. Whenever there is a telphone outage, the speaker system will automatically take over for all inter-office communication. When the phones are off and the speakers are on, please do not relay any confidential information." Then the voice added: "If you are unable to hear this announcement, please phone the help desk." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ >Reported by Wayne An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kinga Tabares, 27, NYC NY
NYC real estate broker was so drunk she allegedly stole a NYC taxi cab and went for a wild ride. This NY real estate broker was so drunk and wild the cab driver drove straight to the closet NYPD station to have them help him deal with her. It's a NY city cab driver who did this. They see the best and the worst of NYC, so for this cab driver to drive straight to the police station just shows how much of a drunken mess this 27 year old woman must have been. When he went into the station to get the cops, she jumped in the drivers seat and ttook off in his taxi. When the cops find her she's in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan throwing up out of the drivers window. Drinking too much is not a good look, especially for a Douglas Elliman real estate broker, no matter how cute a hypnotist she is. Stealing a cab and drunk driving will hopefully get her some time to sober up and settle down.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bonnie Re: Clean ads from recipes Dear Webby, About those recipes - I copy lots from Thrifty Fun too, and other sites with ads, and I have no clue what you just advised to avoid them. What I do is just copy everything & paste it somewhere, then just go through it & delete everything I don't want. Pictures go with one right click & delete, other stuff may have to be highlighted but it works for me. Bonnie in NH Dear Bonnie Great idea and a lot faster than I had been doing it. I will upgrade to doing it your way right now! Have FUN DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A wealthy old man looked around the table at his two sons and five daughters and their spouses gathered for a family reunion. "Not a single grandchild," he said with a sigh. "Kids, when I was busy getting us securely established, were a nuisance, but grandchildren would be a pleasure, now that I would have time for them. I'll give a million dollars to the first kid who presents me with a little one to bounce on my knee. Now, let's say grace." ... When the old man lifted his eyes again, his wife was the only other person at the table. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Magic Lampshade This is a way to create an easy and fun, magic lampshade customized by you! Approximate Time: approximately 10 minutes Supplies: white lampshade black Sharpie pen Steps: Take a white lampshade and draw anything you want inside with a black Sharpie pen. You can look on the internet or books for ideas. Shadow puppet images are helpful. I chose Mary Poppins. I drew it free hand in case sketching would be visible. As a result I don't know if sketches will show. Turn the light on and, voila, surprise! There you are - Mary Poppins. Entertain your friends and family, or just sit back and enjoy your creation. :) By KIM HOGGAN [18] If you don't like drawing, you can cut out suitable pictures and glue them to the inside of the lamp shade. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ When a young man left his dorm and moved into an apartment, he went shopping for cleaning equipment. His cart was loaded with a broom, mop, dust-pan, sponges and a full array of cleaning products. At the last minute he topped off his cart with a lone food purchase -- a large bag of potato chips. After surveying all the stuff he piled onto the check-out conveyor, the check-out clerk remarked: "If you ever want to experiment with spaghetti, you better get some professional help!" ___________________________________________________
Air New Zealand safety video
Air New Zealand safety video ____________________________________________________ Watching her mother as she put on her new fur coat, young Jackie said unhappily, "Mom, do you realize how much some poor dumb beast suffered so you could have that?" The woman shot her an angry look, "Jackie, how dare you talk about your father like that!" ____________________________________________________ The little old lady seated herself right behind the bus driver. Every ten minutes or so she'd pipe up, "Have we reached Oriskany Falls yet, sonny?" "No, lady, not yet. I'll let you know," he replied, time after time. The hours passed, the old woman kept asking for Oriskany Falls, and finally the little town came into view. Sighing with relief, the driver slammed on the brakes, pulled over and called out, "This is where you get out, lady." "Is this Oriskany Falls?" "YES!" he bellowed. "Get out!" "Oh, I'm going all the way to Albany, sonny," she explained sweetly. "It's just that my daughter told me that when we got this far, I should take my first blood pressure pill." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Thank you to Bonnie for submitting her blunder: We haul our own trash to the dump (ok, recycle/transfer station). Last week while there I asked one of the employees to break down an especially tough box that I wanted to recycle. He was so nice to help and while he was breaking it down, I even asked him what to do with used lawnmower oil & the filter. It was then that he told me that he didn't work there but was glad to help out! How embarrassing! Bonnie Noella ____________________________________________________
People are awesome!

Today, November 22, in
1699 A treaty was signed by Denmark, Russia, Saxony and Poland 
 for the partitioning of the Swedish Empire. 
1718 English pirate Edward Teach (a.k.a. "Blackbeard") was killed 
 during a battle off the coast of North Carolina. British 
 soldiers cornered him aboard his ship and killed him. He was 
 shot and stabbed more than 25 times. 
1899 The Marconi Wireless Company of America was incorporated
1906 The International Radio Telegraphic Convention in Berlin adopted 
 the SOS distress signal. 
1928 In Paris, "Bolero" by Maurice Ravel was first performed publicly. 
1935 The first trans-Pacific airmail flight began in Alameda, CA, when 
 the flying boat known as the China Clipper left for Manila. The craft 
 was carrying over 110,000 pieces of mail. 
1942 During World War II, the Battle of Stalingrad began. 
1963 U.S. President Kennedy was assassinated while riding in a motorcade 
 in Dallas, TX. Texas Governor John B. Connally was also seriously 
 wounded. Vice-President Lyndon B. Johnson was inaugurated as the 
 36th U.S. President. 
1967 The U.N. Security Council approved resolution 242. The resolution 
 called for Israel to withdraw from territories it had captured in 
 1967 and called on adversaries to recognize Israel's right to exist. 
1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon lifted a ban on American travel 
 to Cuba. The ban had been put in place on February 8, 1963. 
1975 Juan Carlos I was proclaimed King of Spain upon the death of 
 Gen. Francisco Franco. 
1975 "Dr. Zhivago" appeared on TV for the first time. NBC paid 
 $4 million for the broadcast rights. 
1977 Regular passenger service on the Concorde began between 
 New York and Europe. 
1983 The Bundestag approved NATO's plan to deploy new U.S. 
 nuclear missiles in West Germany. 
1985 38,648 immigrants became citizens of the United States. 
 It was the largest swearing-in ceremony. 
1986 An Iranian surface-to-surface missile hit a residential 
 area in the Iraqi capital of Baghdad, wounding 20 civilians. 
1986 Attorney Generel Meese's office discovered a memo in Colonel 
 Oliver North's office that included an amount of money to be 
 sent to the Contras from the profits of weapons sales to Iran. 
1986 Mike Tyson became the youngest to wear the world heavyweight-
 boxing crown. He was only 20 years and 4 months old. 
1988 The South African government announced it had joined Cuba 
 and Angola in endorsing a plan to remove Cuban troops from Angola. 
1989 Rene Moawad, the president of Lebanon, was assassinated less 
 than three weeks after taking office by a bomb that exploded 
 next to his motorcade in West Beirut. 
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, his wife, Barbara
 shared Thanksgiving dinner with U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia. 
1993 Mexico's Senate overwhelmingly approved the North American 
 Free Trade Agreement. 
1994 Inside the District of Columbia's police headquarters a 
 gunman opened fire. Two FBI agents, a city detective and the 
 gunman were killed in the gun battle. 
1994 In northwest Bosnia, Serb fighters set villages on fire 
 in response to a retaliatory air strikes by NATO. 
1998 CBS's "60 Minutes" aired a tape of Jack Kevorkian giving 
 lethal drugs in an assisted suicide of a terminally ill patient. 
 Kevorkian was later sentenced to 25 years in prison for 
 second-degree murder. 
2005 Angela Merkel was elected as Germany's first female chancellor. 
2005 Microsoft's XBOX 360 went on sale. 
2013 The discovery of Siats meekerorum was announced. The dinosaur 
 skeleton, more than 30 feet long, was found in eastern Utah. 
2015  smiled.


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Recipes without ads 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, November 21

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Utah man upset at missing his child's birth called in bomb threat. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 20, in 1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves. --- Robert Anton Wilson I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses. --- Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ It was testimony night in the church. A lady got up and said, "We are living in a wicked land where sin is on every hand. I have had a terrible fight with the old devil all week." Whereupon her husband, who was sitting glumly by her side said, "It's not all the devil's fault; she's not that easy to get along with either on some days." ______________________________________________________ Sad, but unfortunately aparently true: From the Florida News Network: Hugh Friday, a teacher at Forest Hill High School, ran a stop sign and was pulled over. After receiving a ticket, Friday who is supposed to be a role model to the teenagers in the school, pulled up to the stop sign, stood up in the front seat of his car, looked in an exaggerated and prolonged gaze in both directions for others cars, and immediately received another ticket for "obstructing a roadway." He was convicted on both charges. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michael Morlang, 26, in jail in Idaho
Utah man upset at missing his child's birth calls in bomb threat. A Utah man accused of calling in a hospital bomb threat because he was upset he couldn't attend his child's birth is now being charged in federal court. Michael Morlang was indicted Wednesday and faces up to 10 years if convicted, the U.S. Attorney's Office in Utah said in a news release. The threat led to an evacuation and lockdown on Sept. 17 at a hospital in the small central Utah city of Richfield. His wife and her father told investigators the day of the incident that Morlang made the bomb threat because he was angry about not being there for the birth, show court documents from state charges filed earlier this year. The woman's father also told investigators that Morlang was upset because he heard his wife was going to have a procedure to prevent having more pregnancies. A nurse told police she spoke with Morlang, and that he was "extremely upset that they were going forward with the birth" while he was still in Idaho. Morlang acted like he didn't know of a threat when reached by phone that day while on a bus back to Idaho, Richfield City police investigators said in court documents. They weren't able to connect with him after that. Morlang is custody in Idaho on unrelated crime. It's not clear if he has an attorney. The Utah state charge filed in September against Morlang, one count of threat of terrorism, are being dismissed now that the federal government is pursuing charges, said U.S. Attorney's Office spokeswoman Melodie Rydalch.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Lesley Re: Recipes without ads Dear Webby, Whenever you show a recipe from Thriftyfun, you got just the recipe without the pesky ads they spit into the middle of theirs. When I try to copy one, I always get the silly ads, that don't work anyway after copying. What is your secret? Lesley Dear Lesley No secret, just effort. I use NoteTab for all text editing, including the Humor Letter. I copy the heading, for example the name of the recipe, paste it into the text and click on the B to bold it. Then I copy the recipe as far as the first ad, ALT TAB to the text, CTRL V to paste it, ALT TAB back to the recipe. Then I highlight the next portion down to the next ad, copy, ALT TAB, paste. And so on. No secret, just tedious effort. DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Morris and Harry were both fanatics about deep sea fishing. Each would come back from fishing trips, and tell the other big lies about the number, and sizes of the fish they caught. So Morris comes back from his latest fishing trip, and tells Harry, "You wouldn't believe, but in the Bahamas I caught a 500 pound herring." Harry says, "That's nothing, last time I fished in the Bahamas, I pulled up an old lantern from a sunken Spanish ship -- and da candle was still burning!" They both looked at each other, knowing that the other was lying. Finally, Harry said to Morris, "Look Morris, if you take 499 pounds off your herring . . . I'll blow out my candle!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Perfume Dirty Laundry with Orange Peels I am moving from a house to an apartment. All is chaos. I just discovered I confused the laundry basket with the trash - only once. I found that the dirty clothes smelled great thanks to the dried out orange peel. By Joan F. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The teenage beauty was telling a friend that she was really worried about her mother. The friend inquired as to the reason for her worrying. She informed her friend that her mom was always fatigued from staying up all night long. Her friend said, " At her age, that's not good at all. Why is she staying up all night?" "She's waiting for me to come home." ___________________________________________________
how to trick your dog into taking a pill
how to trick your dog into taking a pill ____________________________________________________ Wendy was in the kitchen one day, trying to reach the baking powder on the top shelf of a cabinet. Being only five feet tall, Wendy had to stretch, but still couldn't grab the box. Fortunately, her husband was six-feet-tall so she called him to help. "Hey, James!" Wendy yelled , who was in the living room. "Will you get your tallness in here and get this for me?" "Sure, Honey," James remarked as he bounded into the kitchen. "But next time, I'd prefer the title 'Your Highness.'" ____________________________________________________ One day a man called the church office. He said, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?" The secretary thought she heard what he said, but said, "I'm sorry, who?" The caller repeated, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?" She said, "Well, if you mean the preacher, then you may refer to him as 'Pastor,' or 'Brother,' but I prefer that you not refer to him as the 'head hog at the trough'!" To this the man replied, "Well, I was planning on giving $1000 to the building fund...." To this the secretary quickly responded "Hang on, I think the big fat pig just waddled in!" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I'm all out of blunders right now. I'm sorry. Maybe you could print my suggestion for others to send in theirs? Noella ____________________________________________________
People are awesome!

Today, November 21, in
1620 The Mayflower reached Provincetown, MA. The ship discharged 
 the Pilgrims at Plymouth, MA, on December 26, 1620. 
1783 The first successful flight was made in a hot air balloon. 
 The pilots, Francois Pilatre de Rosier and Francois Laurent, 
 Marquis d'Arlandes, flew for 25 minutes and 5½ miles over Paris. 
1871 M.F. Galethe patented the cigar lighter. 
1877 Thomas A. Edison announced the invention of his phonograph. 
1929 Spanish surrealist Salvador Dali had his first art exhibit. 
1942 The Alaska Highway across Canada was formally opened. 
1962 U.S. President Kennedy terminated the quarantine measures 
 against Cuba. 
1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon's attorney, J. Fred Buzhardt, 
 announced the presence of an 18½-minute gap in one of the White 
 House tape recordings related to the Watergate case. 
1979 The U.S. Embassy in Islamabad, Pakistan, was attacked by a 
 mob that set the building afire and killed two Americans. 
1980 87 people died in a fire at the MGM Grand Hotel-Casino in 
 Las Vegas, NV. 
1987 An eight-day siege began at a detention center in Oakdale, 
 LA, as Cuban detainees seized the facility and took hostages. 
1992 U.S. Senator Bob Packwood, issued an apology but refused 
 to discuss allegations that he'd made unwelcome sexual 
 advances toward 10 women in past years. 
1994 NATO warplanes bombed an air base in Serb-held Croatia that 
 was being used by Serb planes to raid the Bosnian 
 "safe area" of Bihac. 
1995 France detonated its fourth underground nuclear blast at a 
 test site in the South Pacific. 
1999 China announced that it had test-launched an unmanned space 
 capsule that was designed for manned spaceflight. 
2000 The Florida Supreme Court granted Al Gore's request to keep 
 the presidential recounts going. 
2001 Microsoft Corp. proposed giving $1 billion in computers, 
 software, training and cash to more than 12,500 of the poorest 
 schools in the U.S. The offer was intended as part of a deal to 
 settle most of the company's private antitrust lawsuits. 
2002 NATO invited Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, Bulgaria, Romania, 
 Slovakia and Slovenia to become members. 
2015  smiled.


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Desk height for typing 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, November 20
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Non-American citizen arrested for voting in Texas — FIVE times Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 20, in 1873 Budapest was formed when the rival cities of Buda and Pest were united to form the capital of Hungary. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A teacher observed a boy entering the classroom with dirty hands. She stopped him and said, "Johnny, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?" With a smile the boy replied, "I think I'd be too polite to mention it." ______________________________________________________ "Dad," said Little Johnny, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my math homework for me?" Little Johnny's father said irately, "Son, it just wouldn't be right." "That's okay," replied Little Johnny, "Why don't you at least try ? Mom can help you with it." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rosa Maria Ortega, 35, Somerset, Texas
Non-American citizen arrested for voting in Texas — FIVE times – faces up to 20 years A Texas woman, who is not a citizen of the United States, was arrested Friday for having illegally voted in Dallas County — five times. Rosa Maria Ortega, 35, is presently a resident of the Tarrant County Jail, where she is being held on a $10,000 bond, according to the Dallas-Fort Worth NBC affiliate Channel 5 News, which reported: Ortega is married to an American and is living legally in this country, but is not a citizen and therefore, not qualified to vote, said Harry White, who supervises public integrity and white collar crime investigations for the Tarrant County District Attorney. Ortega applied to vote in Tarrant County and acknowledged on the application form that she was not a citizen, White said. The county rejected her application and notified her she was not qualified to vote. Having learned her lesson that only American citizens may vote in Texas, she re-applied five months later, this time claiming to be a U.S. citizen. Although Ortega never voted in Tarrant country, records indicate that she did so five times in neighboring Dallas county — the earliest in a 2004 Republican primary, the latest in the 2014 Republican primary. Her charges — illegal voting — is a second degree felony, punishable by a two to 20 year prison sentence. A running battle between Republicans and Democrats is centered on voter ID laws. More than 30 states currently have some form of voter ID requirement. Republicans claim that such laws are necessary as a protection against voter fraud. Democrats claim stories of voter fraud are overblown and voter ID laws amount to voter suppression.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Noella Re: Desk height for typing Dear Webby, A kitchen table is between 29-30 inches high and a desk is about 27 inches high. For the keyboard it needs the pull-out tray that is at 25 inches from the floor. Noella Dear Noella For somebody as cute as you are, those numbers are probably qite OK. For the rest of us, the guidelines are: (For fastest typing speed without causing discomfort or carpal injury) Back straight, upper arms straight perpendicular, forearms level when the heel of the palm rests on the wrist rest of the keyboard. Luckily nowadays office chairs are cheaper than kitchen chairs and are adjustable in height. For Web-TVers and "Slouch-on-the-couch" FB activists those guidelines of course need to be adjusted a bit. DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Joe was on the phone and told his wife what a lousy day it'd been. She asked, "Will you be joining me in the hot tub tonight?" "Wow, how sweet. What a lovely way to spend an evening," he thought. He was just about to tell her how considerate and wonderful she was being when she continued: "'Cuz, if you're not, I need to start adding more water to the tub." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Rib-Eye and Roasted Garlic Vegetables This is a nice "put it in the oven and forget it" meal. The meat melts like butter in your mouth. It's so good. We found mixed mini potatoes on sale at the store instead of red potatoes and I forgot to put the onions in the bag, when I made the roast this time. It was still tasty and my kids did a better job eating it, so I might leave them out on purpose next time :) I really love the oven bags for easy meals. Rib-Eye Roast can be VERY expensive so keep an eye out for sales and you can always opt to use a cheaper cut of meat. Approximate Time: 2 1/4 hours Yield: 8 Ingredients: 1 large Reynolds Oven Bag 1 Tbsp flour 1 1/2 tsp oregano 3/4 tsp pepper 1/2 tsp salt 3-3 1/2 lb ribeye roast 1 1/2 lb small red potatoes, halved (I didn't half them) 1 pkg (16 oz) baby carrots 2 med. onions (I forgot them) 1 whole bulb garlic, unpeeled 1 Tbsp butter additional salt and pepper to taste Steps: Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Shake flour in oven bag. Place bag inside a large baking pan. Rub raw beef with oregano, pepper, and salt. Place beef in bag. Arrange veggies in an even layer around roast. Add extra salt and pepper if desired (I would recommend it). Cut 1 inch off the top of the garlic bulb and place in bag. I placed it top down on top of the meat. Close bag and cut 6 - 1/2 inch slits in the top of the bag. Cook for 1 1/2 - 1 3/4 hours or until meat thermometer reads 145 degrees (this took closer to 2 hours). Let meat rest for 10 minutes before slicing. Place vegetables and garlic in bowl and toss with 1 Tbsp. butter. Serve as a side with the sliced meat. I also served with green beans for some color and extra nutrition. Source: Reynolds By Stephanie [154] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn around now before it's too late!" They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. "Get lost, you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. From around the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash. "Do you think," said one to the other, "it's maybe bad luck to use the back of a Madonna poster, or maybe we should instead put it in not so religious terms and make a sign that just says 'Bridge Out' ?" ___________________________________________________
the story of Jonah - told in the cutest way
the story of Jonah - told in the cutest way ____________________________________________________ We were listening to a lecture on psychic phenomena in our Comparative Religions course. Our instructor told us about a woman who was contacted by police to assist in a missing-persons case. "She gave eerily detailed instructions on where to find the body," the teacher said. "In fact, the detectives did find the body just as she had described. Now what would you call that kind of person?" While the rest of us pondered the question, a sheriff's officer taking the course raised his hand and replied, "A suspect." ____________________________________________________ The spammers from bratan.org sent me some spam asking me to sign their petition that the death penalty for murderers and terrorists be abolished. I told them, quite the opposite, it should be kept, and that spammers should be burned at the stake. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders My bosses finally got new computers and were figuring out how to use them. A few days later, my boss called me into her office and asked if I could show her how to draw a line. Thinking she wanted something exotic, I searched for a way to draw a line for her. Turned out, all she wanted was to add a line after a prompt for filling in the name, like this: ____________________ On her typewriter you could only backspacen and then underline actualtext but not empty spaces. So I introduced her to that new key on the keyboard. Noella ____________________________________________________
Creepy vintage ads. What were they thinking?!?!

Today, November 20, in
1818 Simon Bolivar formally declared Venezuela independent of Spain. 
1873 Budapest was formed when the rival cities of Buda and 
 Pest were united to form the capital of Hungary. 
1910 Francisco I. Madero led a revolution that broke out in Mexico. 
1929 The radio program "The Rise of the Goldbergs," later known 
 as "The Goldbergs," made its debut on the NBC Blue Network. 
1943 During World War II, U.S. Marines began their landing on 
 Tarawa and Makin atolls in the Gilbert Islands. 
1945 24 Nazi leaders went before an international war crimes tribunal 
 in Nuremberg, Germany. 
1947 Britain's Princess Elizabeth married Philip Mountbatten, 
 Duke of Edinburgh in Westminster Abbey. 
1959 Britain, Norway, Portugal, Switzerland, Austria, Denmark and 
 Sweden met to create the European Free Trade Association. 
1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis ended. The Soviet Union removed its 
 missiles and bombers from Cuba and the U.S. ended its blockade of 
 the island. 
1967 The Census Clock at the Department of Commerce in Washington, 
 DC, went past 200 million. 
1969 The Nixon administration announced a halt to residential use 
 of the pesticide DDT as part of a total phase out of the substance. 
1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab leader to 
 address Israel's parliament. 
1980 On Jefferson Island, Louisiana, an oil rig in Lake Pigneur 
 pierced the top of the salt dome beneath the island. The 
 freshwater lake completely drained within a few hours. The 
 Delcambre Canal reversed flow and two days later the previous 
 freshwater lake was a 1,300-foot-deep saltwater lake. 
1983 An estimated 100 million people watched the controversial 
 ABC-TV movie "The Day After." The movie depicted the outbreak 
 of nuclear war. 
1986 The one billionth Little Golden Book was printed. 
 The title was The Poky Little Puppy. 
1989 Over 200,000 people rallied peacefully in Prague, 
 Czechoslovakia, demanding democratic reforms. 
1990 Saddam Hussein ordered another 250,000 Iraqi troops into 
 the country of Kuwait. 
1992 A fire seriously damaged the northwest side of Windsor 
 Castle in England. 
1994 The Angolan government and rebels signed a treaty in 
 Zambia to end 19 years of war. 
1995 Princess Diana admitted being unfaithful to Prince Charles 
 in an interview that was broadcast on BBC Television. 
1998 Afghanistan's Taliban militia offered Osama bin Laden 
 safe haven. Osama bin Laden had been accused of orchestrating 
 two U.S. embassy bombings in Africa and later terrorist attacks 
 on New York City and the Pentagon. 
1998 Forty-six states agreed to a $206 billion settlement of 
 health claims against the tobacco industry. The industry also 
 agreed to give up billboard advertising of cigarettes. 
2015  smiled.


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Ergo keyboard 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, November 19

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Pennsylvania woman who got 2 DUIs same night, same car. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 19, in 1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving? A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant. ______________________________________________________ A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked deeply into her eyes and slowly, meaningfully said, "Clean my house." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Dad for this picture: These bloomed today ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Michele Leonard, 47, Somerset, Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania woman who got 2 DUIs same night, same car. Pennsylvania State police say they've arrested a woman for two different drunken driving crashes in the same day. Troopers from Somerset say Michele Leonard, of Somerset, crashed her car about 5 p.m. Saturday. She was arrested, charged with drunken driving and then released. Police say that's when Leonard offered a stranger $3 for a ride back to her crashed vehicle, which she entered and began driving again. Police say Leonard again lost control of the car, and sideswiped a parked car in Somerset Township about 6 p.m., then crashed into a garage, which she destroyed along with a pick-up parked in it and thousands of dollars worth of special tools.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Donna Re: Ergo Keyboard Dear Webby, For the lady with the keyboard problem with her laptop... as a former personal trainer regular keyboards and laptop keyboards especially being so small are terrible for your wrists, causing pinches nerves and are just carpal tunnel waiting to happen. Just look at the angle of your inner wrist as you try to type! My suggestion would be an ergonomic keyboard. Yes they take some getting used to (after two weeks about 10 years ago, I was ready to pitch mine out the window...learning that for 30 years I had been typing the letter N with the wrong finger!)...but I perservered. The light bulb went on after about two weeks, and not only did my wrists quit hurting but my typing speed improved. I agree with you that cost should not be an issue, my Microsoft Ergo Keyboards lasted over 10 years and are still functional. Donna Dear Donna Microsoft was afraid of getting hit with class action law suits and commissioned the research and development for their Ergonomical keyboard. Because of the ridiculous pricing those didn't really catch on, but they sure protected Microsoft from lawsuits. With a reasonable price and an adjustable curvature, they would have been successful, but even as they are, they are still available for people with carpal tunnel syndrome or other wrist injuries, and who get somebody else to pay for the insane $75 - $120 price for $1.49 worth of plastic. There are some split keyboards available at reasonable cost, that are very good if somebody has a wrist injury. Up until the 80's, when there were still typing pools and fast typists, they said that a keyboard should be as wide as the typist's shoulders. Well, all the 120 wpm typists have retired, and wide keyboards are getting very scarce. Personally, I just use a wide Kensington keyboard and a slick wrist rest as high as the keyboard. That works well for me. The wrist rest is very important. A 1"x 4" board sanded and varnished works just fine, especially when sprayed with Moly mold release or furniture spray to make it nice and slick on top, and sticky drawer liner mesh underneath. You would really be surprised how that makes typing effortless and painless even after an injury. And faster too. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Jill heard her husband come back into the house not too long after he had left. She said, "Hon, I thought you were going to your lodge meeting." "It was postponed." he replied. "The wife of the Grand Exalted Invincible Supreme Potentate won't let him attend until he finishes doing the laundry." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bag Top as Instant Twist Ties How many times have you looked for a twist tie to keep a bag closed? Well look no more. Now all you do is cut the entire top of the product bag off and use that for the twist tie. An instant twist tie right at your fingertips. By Suzzy-cue B. [2] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ One evening after dinner, Little Johnny noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked, "Where did mommy go?" Dad told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party." This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Dad?" Little Johnny's father had always given his son honest answers, so he figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, son," he said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other." Little Johnny burst into laughter. "Come on, Dad," Little Johnny said. "I'm not THAT silly. Mom always says that Tupperware is the cheapest at Walmart! What are they really doing?" ___________________________________________________
five guys playing one piano
five guys playing one piano ____________________________________________________ A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his revival meetings, When he was to preach at a church, he would secretly hire a small boy to sit in the ceiling rafters with a dove in a cage. Toward the end of his sermon, the preacher would shout for the Holy Spirit to come down, and the boy in the rafters would dutifully release the dove. At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the preacher called for the Holy Spirit to desend. He again raised his arms and exclaimed: "Come down, Holy Spirit!" Still no sign of the dove. Then preacher heard the anxious voice of a small boy call down from the rafters: "Sir, a big black cat just ate the Holy Spirit. Shall I throw down the cat?" ____________________________________________________ A young married couple lived in a cheap housing complex. Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy. This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone. She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor. "Give this to your husband," he said thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. "He's been yelling for it for 15 minutes!" ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I readied my camera to be sent off for repairs, put it in the original box, wrapped and put the address label on it. However, I had to open the package up to put in the check I forgot, resealed the box and took it to the post office where I bought insurance (for a $2,000 camera) and postage and got it mailed off. Later that afternoon, one of the twins came home from school with really bad grades on a paper. I spent 30 minutes telling him how he needed to pay attention to what he was doing as most of his mistakes were from not paying attention to what he was doing or reading. After the lecture, I sent him out to play and sat down at my desk pondering how can I impress upon him the importance of paying attention to what he’s doing. As I was in the midst of my thinking, I started cleaning my desk and it was then that I noticed my camera sitting there on the desk. It was then I realized I mailed and insured an empty box. Well, that’s not quite right, there is paperwork and the $10 check in the box. Noella ____________________________________________________
History of the swastika symbol. It was used for centuries until Hitler made it a bad thing.

Today, November 19, in
1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It 
 resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War. 
1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address 
 as he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the 
 Civil War battlefield in Pennsylvania. 
1893 The first newspaper color supplement was published in 
 the Sunday New York World. 
1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E. Blaisdell. 
1919 The U.S. Senate rejected the Treaty of Versailles with a 
 vote of 55 in favor to 39 against. A two-thirds majority 
 was needed for ratification. 
1928 "Time" magazine presented its cover in color for the 
 first time. The subject was Japanese Emperor Hirohito. 
1942 During World War II, Russian forces launched their winter 
 offensive against the Germans along the Don front. 
1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service on 
 the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey. 
1959 Ford Motor Co. announced it was ending the production of 
 the unpopular Edsel. 
1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles Conrad and Alan Bean made 
 man's second landing on the moon. 
1970 Hafiz al-Assad seized power in Syria. 
1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab leader 
 to set foot in Israel on an official visit. 
1981 U.S. Steel agreed to pay $6.3 million for Marathon Oil. 
1990 NATO and the Warsaw Pact signed a treaty of nonaggression. 
1994 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to bomb rebel 
 Serb forces striking from neighboring Croatia. 
1997 In Carlisle, IA, septuplets were born to Bobbi McCaughey. 
 It was only the second known case where all seven were 
 born alive. 
1998 The impeachment inquiry of U.S. President Clinton began. 
1998 Vincent van Gogh's "Portrait of the Artist Without Beard" 
 sold at auction for more than $71 million. 
2002 The oil tanker Prestige broke into two pieces and sank 
 off northwest Spain. The tanker lost about 2 million gallons 
 of fuel oil when it ruptured November 13th and was towed 
 about 150 miles out to sea. 
2007 The Amazon Kindle was first released.
2015  smiled.


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Keyboard slant 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, November 18

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida Woman, who Battered Beau Over Sex Position Dispute Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 17, in 1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in England. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery. --- Dr. Joyce Brothers (1928 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the airline check-in counter. As they approached the line, the husband glanced at the pile of luggage and said to the wife, "Why didn't you bring the piano, too?" "Are you trying to be funny?" she replied. "No, I really wish you had" he sighed. "I left the tickets on it." -------- No problem nowadays with e-tickets. Just print out a new one at one of those things that look half way between R2D2 and a fire hydrant. ______________________________________________________ The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asks. "Sweetheart," she sobs, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone," she sobbed again, "I found that the cat had eaten it!" "Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry. We'll get a new cat in the morning." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Moe for this picture: Go look at it before ISIS blows it up! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Wendy Luper, 45, Clermont, Florida
Florida Woman Battered Beau Over Sex Position Dispute Wendy Luper, 45, Florida woman was arrested Saturday evening following an bizarre series of events that began with a trip to a storage unit with her ex-husband (with whom Luper has recently reunited). According to cops, Luper and Michael Vaccaro--who were married for 12 years--drove together to retrieve some of his belongings from their storage unit in Bradenton. While parked in the rear of the facility, “Luper got undressed, and asked Vaccaro if he wanted to have sexual intercourse,” police reported. “Vaccaro agreed, and told Luper to lay down.” But Luper, a court filing notes, “did not want to have sexual intercourse in that position and stated no.” It is unclear where the pair was planning to tryst, or the position that was rejected by Luper During a subsequent argument, Luper allegedly struck Vaccaro in the head with a thrown object. As Vaccaro sought to remove some of his belongings from the car’s rear seat, Luper allegedly accelerated the auto “with Vaccaro still half way inside the vehicle.” As Vaccaro “pulled out of the vehicle,” Luper drove over his right foot. When cops arrived at the scene, Vaccaro was bleeding from a head wound and his right foot appeared to be swelling. After being contacted by police, Luper returned to the vicinity of the storage facility. “She was unable to explain” Vaccaro’s injuries, noted police, who added that she “stated Vaccaro wanted to have sex with her.” Seen above, Luper, who works as a housekeeper, was arrested for domestic battery. She was booked into jail on the misdemeanor charge and released from custody yesterday after posting $750 bond. Luper was busted in August for domestic battery after she allegedly punched Vaccaro in the face, neck, and arm after he ignored her request to do laundry. Prosecutors subsequently declined to pursue the misdemeanor charge against Luper.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Bonnie Re: Keyboard slant for laptop Dear Webby, SUGGESTION FOR ANNIE WHOSE LAPTOP IS UNCOMFORTABLE. I ROLLED UP SOME RUBBERMAID SHELF LINER & TIED IT TO SECURE SHAPE WHEN I FOUND THE RIGHT HEIGHT TO PROP THE BACK END OF THE LAPTOP ONTO. GIVES IT A SLANT TO MAKE TYPING A WHOLE LOT EASIER. MAYBE SHE CAN TRY THIS TOO. BONNIE IN NH Dear Bonnie If the slant is the problem, then your suggestion is an excellent idea. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Jane got a speeding ticket and was attending a defensive driving course to have points erased from her license. The instructor, a poice officer, emphasized that being on time was crucial and that the classroom doors would be locked when each session began. Just after one class started, someone knocked on the locked door. The officer opened it and asked, "Why are you late?" The student replied, "I was trying not to get another ticket and was pulled over for being slower than the flow of traffic." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mango "Ice Cream" I saw this recipe on Pinterest and had to try it. I actually had all the ingredients. It's super quick to make. It's a lot easier than homemade ice cream. My kids can't stop eating it! I love that there is no added sugar. It's delicious! Approximate Time: 5 minutes Yield: about 4 servings Ingredients: 8 oz frozen mangos 1/2 cup cream or coconut milk a splash of milk a pinch of salt Steps: Add your mango to the food processor. Mango "Ice Cream" Pour in the cream or coconut milk and a pinch of salt. Start the food processor on the low setting. Stop the machine and scrape the sides. Mine was a little dry and needed more moisture. I poured in a splash of milk until it was ice cream consistency. Scoop out and eat right away or freeze. It's a little hard when it comes out of the freezer. We let ours sit for a few minutes to soften. Source: Coco's Well Link: cocoswell.com/mangosoftserve By Becky Miles [84] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Ethel is on a cruise ship and wanders up to the bar and asks for a scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I'm on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today." The bartender says "Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me." As Ethel finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, "I would like to buy you a drink, too." Ethel says, "Thank you. Bartender, I want a scotch with two drops of water. "Coming up," says the bartender. As she finishes her drink, the man to her left says, "I would like to buy you one, too." Again Ethel says, "Thank you. Bartender, I would like another scotch with two drops of water." "Comin' right up," the bartender says. As he gives her the drink he says, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?" Ethel replied, "Sonny, when you're my age, you learn how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue." ___________________________________________________
- Big cats like boxes
Big cats like boxes ____________________________________________________ A local minister had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures made a few weeks ago. The first Sunday after that, his sermon lasted 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on the third Sunday he preached for an hour and a half. I asked him about this. He then told me "Well, that first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were still hurting a lot. But the third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures and I couldn't stop talking!" ____________________________________________________ In primitive society, when native tribes dressed up in mismatched colors that hurt the eyes, beat the ground with clubs in an embarrassing manner, and yelled and screamed in ways that hurt the ears, it was called witchcraft; today, it is called golf. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Note to Self: When making vocabulary, spelling, grammar and formatting corrections to a template letter at your new job, make sure the person you are passing the updates by is not its author. Noella ____________________________________________________
A very touching story in music and memories.

Today, November 18, in
1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the 
 Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed 
 in England. 
1820 Captain Nathaniel Palmer became the first American to 
 sight the continent of Antarctica. 
1865 Samuel L. Clemens published "The Celebrated Jumping Frog 
 of Calaveras County" under the pen name "Mark Twain" in the 
 New York "Saturday Press." 
1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time zones. 
1903 The U.S. and Panama signed a treaty that granted the U.S. 
 rights to build the Panama Canal. 
1916 Douglas Haig, commander of the British Expeditionary Force 
 in World War I, called off the Battle of the Somme in France. The 
 offensive began on July 1, 1916. 
1928 The first successful sound-synchronized animated cartoon 
 premiered in New York. It was Walt Disney's "Steamboat Willie," 
 starring Mickey Mouse. 
1936 Germany and Italy recognized the Spanish government of 
 Francisco Franco. 
1959 William Wyler's "Ben-Hur" premiered at Loew's Theater in 
 New York City's Times Square. 
1966 U.S. Roman Catholic bishops did away with the rule against 
 eating meat on Fridays. 
1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles "Pete" Conrad Jr. and 
 Alan L. Bean landed on the lunar surface during the second 
 manned mission to the moon. 
1976 The parliament of Spain approved a bill that established 
 a democracy after 37 years of dictatorship. 
1983 Argentina announced its ability to produce enriched uranium 
 for use in nuclear weapons. 
1987 CBS Inc. announced it had agreed to sell its record division 
 to Sony Corp. for about $2 billion. 
1988 U.S. President Reagan signed major legislation provided the 
 death penalty for drug traffickers who kill. 
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives joined the U.S. Senate in 
 approving legislation aimed at protecting abortion facilities, 
 staff and patients. 
1993 American Airlines flight attendants went on strike. They ended 
 their strike only 4 days later. 
2001 Nintendo released the GameCube home video game console in the 
 United States.
2015  smiled.


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Keyboard for laptop 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, November 17

Thank you, Nancy !!!

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman, who was arrested after calling 911 for wings, smokes Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 17, in 1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean and the Red seas. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." --- George Carlin This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Rina, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about her and her education, but then asked her, out of the blue, "What is three times seven?" "22," Rina replied. After she left, she double-checked it on her calculator (she *knew* she should have taken it to the interview!) and realized she wouldn't get the job. About two weeks later, she got a letter that said she was hired for the job! She was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, she went in and asked why she got the job,even though she got such a simple question wrong. The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest." ______________________________________________________ When Columbus came to America, there were no taxes, no debts, no pollution, no rush hour. The women did all the work, while the men sat around and smoked pipes, and went hunting or fishing whenever anybody mentioned cleaning up the yard or fixing the teepee. Ever since then, a bunch of do-gooders have been trying to "improve" the place. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Liann Gae Watson, 45, Clermont, Florida
Florida woman arrested after calling 911 for wings, smokes A woman in Lake County, Florida, is facing charges after she allegedly called 911 for chicken wings. Liann Gae Watson, 45, is accused of calling 911 Wednesday afternoon and telling the operator she wanted chicken wings and cigarettes, ClickOrlando.com reports. The responding officers reported that, when they showed up at Watson's home in Clermont, she said she had been drinking and was unable to drive, so she called 911 for the items, according to SouthLakePress.com. The wing-craving woman also kept asking to bum a cigarette and tried to get the deputies to drive her to get some, reports the Orlando Sentinel. Watson kept switching between hysterical laughter and hysterical crying and yelling during her conversation with police, according to the arrest report. Watson was then taken into custody on charges of misusing the 911 system. On the way to the Lake County Jail, Watson kept smacking the partition in the squad car with her head and shoulders, kicked her legs into the air and cursed and screamed, according to a police report obtained by WESH.com. The suspect was given four warnings to stop and when she didn't, she was hog-tied to prevent her from hurting herself. Watson has been charged with one count of misusing the 911 system. She was later released after posting $1,000 bail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Annie Re: Keyboard for laptop Dear Webby, My laptop is really hurting my wrists. You have mentioned a few times that you lug a regular size keyboard with you even into the desert. What kind of keyboard would I need for my Acer Aspire 8735 ? Thanks Annie Dear Annie Any keypoad, that is comfortable for your hands would work. Go to any computer store and demand to try out their keyboards, not just look at the box. Some of them look very nice, but have mushy keys, that will tire you out fast. Look for a light key action, but not too light. You don't want it to start typing when you just rest fingers on the keys. Ideally, you would want a bit of initial resistance or push against your fingers, and then snap home with a "tactile click". You should get a noticeable feel of the key slamming home. That is especially important if you are reading text or numbers and typing them in without watching the screen. Just play with them until you find one you like. Don't look at the price! Your wrists are worth a lot more than the difference between the cheapest and the most expensive keyboard, especially since the difference in price is less than what a wrist bandage costs. Regarding compatibility: They all work. Wireless is of course more expensive, but unless you want to slouch on the couch and use the big TV screen as your monitor, you can usually save money by using a regular, wired keyboard. Higher quality keyboards like a Kensignton will let you type faster and will last longer. Even though they are more expensive initially, because they last much longer than no-name bargain keybolards, they wind up saving you money. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ My friend Don, a minor-league umpire, is used to being heckled by fans. But imagine his surprise when he was rushing to umpire an exhibition game at Coors Field in Denver. After a long search for a place to change clothes, Don finally located a room with a neatly lettered sign: "Dressing Room, Umpires Only." As he was about to go in, however, he inspected the sign more closely. Below the printed legend was the same message... written in Braille. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mango "Ice Cream" I saw this recipe on Pinterest and had to try it. I actually had all the ingredients. It's super quick to make. It's a lot easier than homemade ice cream. My kids can't stop eating it! I love that there is no added sugar. It's delicious! Approximate Time: 5 minutes Yield: about 4 servings Ingredients: 8 oz frozen mangos 1/2 cup cream or coconut milk a splash of milk a pinch of salt Steps: Add your mango to the food processor. Mango "Ice Cream" Pour in the cream or coconut milk and a pinch of salt. Start the food processor on the low setting. Stop the machine and scrape the sides. Mine was a little dry and needed more moisture. I poured in a splash of milk until it was ice cream consistency. Scoop out and eat right away or freeze. It's a little hard when it comes out of the freezer. We let ours sit for a few minutes to soften. Source: Coco's Well Link: cocoswell.com/mangosoftserve By Becky Miles [84] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ On the last day of class, the professor wished the students luck as he wrote a phone number on the blackboard. "If any of you have difficulty understanding the review material, call this number," he said as he dismissed the class. On Saturday afternoon, stumped by one of the review problems, Don reached for the phone and heard a recorded message, from Dial-A-Prayer. ___________________________________________________
What Has Four Legs, Four Eyes, and Will Blow Your Mind?
What Has Four Legs, Four Eyes, and Will Blow Your Mind? ____________________________________________________ Driving home from the store one day, the father tuned the radio to a country and western station. "How can you stand that stuff?" complained his 16-year-old son. "It's all about lonesome cowboys, gunfights and broken hearts." The father countered with: "If all members of a band that plays Your style of music were playing the same song at the same time, what would they be singing about?" "They don't. If they did, it would just be boring country music!" ____________________________________________________ Daffinition: Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death. If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons? The reason old firehalls have circular stairways is from the days when the fire engines were pulled by horses. They kept the horses from walking up the stairs and eating the firefighters lunches while they slept. You might be wondering why they called their vehicles "engines" if they were pulled by horses. The "engine" was the steam engine powered pump. Re horses walking up stairs, did you know that horses can walk DOWN stairs too, but cows won't ? If you decide that it might be a fun graduation prank to herd some cows upstairs to the admin or even the dean's level like we did, they have to be sedated and CARRIED down the stairs. After that, sometimes the staff usually needed to be sedated too. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders >From DW One time about twenty years ago I was in Nashville for a brief visit to a town near there. On the way back I decided to go visit the Outback Steak House. I thought I could find it after having seen it from the air. Well, no such luck. So I asked a friendly local. "Ohh, you jess drive down this here road to where the ol firehall was, the one thet berned down a few years ago, and hang a left right there ann go up to wehre they are plannin to build a McDonalds next year. From there you could jess about see it if that big ol school was not in the way." Great! Thank you Ma'am. I went back to the hotel and cranked up MapQuest. Noella ____________________________________________________
Our nurses today think they have it rough! These ladies were really dedicated to the nursing profession!

Today, November 17, in
1558 Elizabeth I ascended the English throne upon the death 
 of Queen Mary Tudor. 
1603 Sir Walter Raleigh went on trial for treason. 
1796 Catherine the Great of Russia died at the age of 67. 
1798 Irish nationalist leader Wolfe Tone committed suicide 
 while in jail awaiting execution. 
1800 The U.S. Congress held its first session in Washington, DC, 
 in the partially completed Capitol building. 
1869 The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the Mediterranean 
 and the Red seas. 
1903 Russia's Social Democrats officially split into two groups 
 Bolsheviks and Mensheviks. 
1904 The first underwater submarine journey was taken, from 
 Southampton, England, to the Isle of Wight. 
1913 The steamship Louise became the first ship to travel 
 through the Panama Canal. 
1913 In Germany, Kaiser Wilhelm banned the armed forces from 
 dancing the tango. 
1922 Siberia voted for union with the U.S.S.R. 
1962 Washington's Dulles International Airport was dedicated 
 by U.S. President Kennedy. 
1970 The Soviet Union landed an unmanned, remote-controlled 
 vehicle on the moon, the Lunokhod 1. The vehicle was 
 released by Luna 17. 
1979 Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini ordered the release of 13 female 
 and black American hostages being held at the U.S. Embassy 
 in Tehran. 
1982 The Empire State Building was added to the National Register 
 of Historical Places. 
1988 Benazir Bhutto became the first woman leader of an Islamic 
 country. She was elected in the first democratic elections in 
 Pakistan in 11 years. 
1990 A mass grave was discovered by the bridge over the River 
 Kwai in Thailand. The bodies were believed to be those of World 
 War II prisoners of war. 
1997 62 people were killed by 6 Islamic militants outside the 
 Temple of Hatshepsut in Luxor, Egypt. The attackers were 
 killed by police. 
2006 Sony's PlayStation 3 went on sale in the United States. 
2010 Reasearchers trapped 38 antihydrogen atoms. It was the first 
 time humans had trapped antimatter. 
2015  smiled.


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Problem with the video link 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, November 16

Thank you, Terri!


http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to New York robbers, who were arrested when cops followed their trail of spilled macaroni salad Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 16, in 1776 British troops captured Fort Washington during the American Revolution. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ He who is good at making excuses, is seldom good for anything else. --- Socratex With love and patience, nothing is impossible. --- Daisaku Ikeda ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A businessman who needed millions of dollars to clinch an important deal, went to church to pray for the money. By chance he knelt next to a man who was praying for $100 to pay an urgent debt. The businessman took out his wallet and pressed $100 into the other man's hand. Overjoyed, the man got up and left the church. The businessman then closed his eyes and prayed, "And now, Lord, that I have your undivided attention . . ." ______________________________________________________ The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. "You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?" "That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks." "But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks." "You DO?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Matthew P. Sapetko, 34, James P. Marullo, 35, Timothy S. Walker Jr., 23 Mt. Morris, New York,
3 Robbers arrested after cops follow a trail of macaroni salad Never trust the macaroni salad. It'll turn on you when you least expect it. This, after police in Mt. Morris, New York, apprehended three burglary suspects Sunday by following a trail of macaroni salad they left behind while making their getaway. In a release published Monday morning, the Livingston County Sheriff's Office reports thieves broke in and stole a cash register from Build-A-Burger Restaurant, along with the establishment's entire surveillance system and a large bowl of macaroni salad. Deputies were hot on the criminals' trail, literally, as they attempted to escape via the nearby Greenway Trail. "Found along the trail were cash register parts, surveillance system parts, rubber gloves, loose change and a steady trail of macaroni salad," the sheriff's office said. "It was later discovered that the suspects stole a large bowl of macaroni salad, which they took turns eating, along their escape route." Officers arrested Matthew P. Sapetko, 34, James P. Marullo, 35, and Timothy S. Walker Jr., 23, by early Sunday afternoon. The three have been charged with third-degree burglary, third-degree criminal mischief and fourth-degree grand larceny. Walker faces additional charges for criminal possession of a controlled substance, say police. Per the Democrat & Chronicle, the three have been booked into the Livingston County Jail. Most of the stolen property has been recovered.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Not getting Noella's Videos Dear Webby, OK, I'M BACK TO NOT GETTING NOELLA'S VIDEOS. WHAT SHOULD I BE DOING IN MY SETTINGS TO FIX THIS, ANY IDEA? BONNIE Dear Bonnie The videos worg fine even from the letter you forwarded. I will add a plain text link for you. Let me know how that works out. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A clergyman was walking down the street when he came upon a group of about a dozen boys, all of them between 10 and 12 years of age. The group had surrounded a dog. Concerned the boys may be hurting the dog, the clergyman approached the group of boys and asked, "What are you doing with that dog?" One of the boys replied, "This dog is just an old neighborhood stray. We all want him, but only one of us can take him home. So we have decided that, whichever one of us can tell the biggest lie, will get to keep the dog." Of course, the reverend was taken aback and exclaimed, "You boys shouldn't be having a contest telling lies!" Then he launched into a ten minute sermon against lying, beginning with, "Don't you boys know that it is a sin to lie," and ending with, "Why, when I was your age, I never told a lie." There was dead silence for about a minute. Just as the reverend was beginning to think he'd gotten through to them, the smallest boy gave a deep sigh and said, "All right, the Rev gets the dog. There is no way we can top that." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Squeeze Bottle for D.E. Application I found a cheap and easy way for spreading food grade diatomaceous earth. A squeeze bottle makes it easy to dust under leaves and hard to reach places to kill bugs. It works really well in the chicken coop for getting into the places any chicken lice could hide. It also works well for killing fleas in the carpet. Just buy a plastic condiments squeeze bottle, add some diatomaceous earth, and squeeze away. It has quite a range too! The one I bought was $0.80 at a local store. I like the squeeze bottles with a cap, so that it stays dry between uses. By Bella Blue [46] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ When a job applicant asked if the phone company had a fitness program, the human resources manager replied, "Oh, our employees don't need one. They are routinely jumping to conclusions, flying off the handle, beating around the bush, running down the boss, going around in circles, dragging their feet, dodging responsibility, passing the buck, climbing the ladder, hiding the paperwork, pulling strings, throwing their weight around, stretching the truth, bending the rules, stabbing others in their backs and pushing their luck!" ___________________________________________________
Men's brains vs women's brains
Men's brains vs women's brain ____________________________________________________ "Mom, teacher was asking me today if I have any brothers or sisters who will be coming to school." "That's nice of her to take such an interest, dear. What did she say when you told her you are the only child?" She just said, "Thank goodness!" ____________________________________________________ A company in Annapolis, MD, offers tours through the historic district of the town, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing. While leading a group, Dave, one of the guides, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist. He went to the hospital, and as he sat in the emergency room, a policeman walked by. Doing a double take at Dave in his 18th-century garb, he asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?" ____________________________________________________ Couples who have lived together a long time have their own way of communicating. A woman overheard her aunt and uncle one day: "What are you looking for in that closet?" he asked. "Nothing," she answered. "Well, it's not in there. Look under the bed." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Remember when we had to defrost our freezers? The way I did it was heat a pan of water, place it in the freezer and along with a hair dryer, start chipping at the ice with a hammer and thick knife or even a screwdriver. It went really fast. One day I was chipping away and was almost done. I loved getting that last big piece of ice out. But then I heard a funny sound – like a hiss! It kept hissing and hissing, then finally stopped. Needless to say, the next phone call was to the repair man. He probably loved people tried to do it the "easy" way. I am so, so thankful for frost-free freezers. Noella ____________________________________________________
These ski masks are wild!

Today, November 16, in
1776 British troops captured Fort Washington during the 
 American Revolution. 
1885 Canadian rebel Louis Riel was executed for high treason. 
1915 Coca-Cola had its prototype for a countoured bottle 
 patented. The bottle made its commercial debut the next year. 
1933 The United States and the Soviet Union established 
 diplomatic relations for the first time. 
1952 In the Peanuts comic strip, Lucy first held a football 
 for Charlie Brown. 
1966 Dr. Samuel H. Sheppard was acquitted in his second trial 
 of charges he had murdered his pregnant wife, Marilyn, in 1954. 
1969 The U.S. Army announced that several had been charged with 
 massacre and the subsequent cover-up in the My Lai massacre in 
 Vietnam on March 16, 1968. 
1973 Skylab 3 carrying a crew of three astronauts, was launched 
 from Cape Canaveral, FL, on an 84-day mission. 
1973 U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure into law. 
 That pipeline is still working fine.
1981 A vaccine for hepatitis B was approved. The vaccine had been 
 developed at Merck Institute for Therapeutic Research. 
1985 Colonel Oliver North was put in charge of the shipment of 
 HAWK anti-aircraft missiles to Iran. 
1988 Estonia's parliament declared that the Baltic republic 
 "sovereign," but stopped short of complete independence. 
1997 China released Wei Jingsheng, a pro-democracy dissident 
 from jail for medical reasons. He had been incarcerated for 
 almost 18 years. 
1998 In Burlington, WIsconsin, five high school students, 
 aged 15 to 16, were arrested in an alleged plot to kill a 
 carefully selected group of teachers and students. 
1998 It was announced that Monica Lewinsky had signed a deal 
 for the North American rights to a book about her affair 
 with U.S. President Clinton. 
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court said that union members could file 
 discrimination lawsuits against employers even when labor 
 contracts require arbitration. 
1999 Chrica Adams, the pregnant girlfriend of Rae Carruth, was 
 shot four times in her car. She died a month later from her 
 wounds. The baby survived. Carruth was sentenced to a minimum 
 of 18 years and 11 months in prison for his role in the murder. 
2000 Bill Clinton became the first serving U.S. president to 
 visit Communist Vietnam. 
2004 A NASA unmanned "scramjet" (X-43A) reached a speed of nearly 
 10 times the speed of sound above the Pacific Ocean. 
2015  smiled.


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Free malwarebytes did the trick 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, November 15

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Chicago woman, who was arrested for Denny's pancake rage Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 15, in 1889 Brazil's monarchy was overthrown. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves to be like other people. --- Arthur Schopenhauer Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch. --- Orson Welles ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ When Little Johnny's family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked him how he liked the new place. "It's great!" he said. "I have my own room, Billy has his own room, and Betty-Sue has her own room. WE can have fun! But poor dad is still stuck in with mom." ______________________________________________________ A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother's meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it's the one you gave me. But it just didn't come out right, and I'm so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George because he loves meat loaf. What could have gone wrong?" Her mother replied soothingly, "Well, dear, let's go through the recipe. You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we'll figure it out." "OK," the bride sniffled. "Well, it starts out, ' Take fifty cents worth of ground beef '..." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this one: This one bloomed today ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Natasha West 27, Oak Lawn, Chicago, Illinois
Chicago woman, who was arrested for Denny's pancake rage Natasha West, 27, is facing assault and property damage charges after becoming unhinged when a Denny’s waitress explained that she was not allowed to share her $4 all-you-can-eat pancake special with her friends. West was dining Friday at a Denny’s in Oak Lawn, a Chicago suburb, when a server explained that the unlimited pancake offer was good for a single diner. This did not sit well with West, who claimed that she was apparently was under the impression that her $4 bought everyone at the table an unending pancake bounty. According to the Oak Lawn Police Department, West cursed at the waitress and threw several punches at the employee (though the blows did not land). West and her party then left Denny’s without paying their tab, but not before she repeatedly kicked a door on the way out. Pictured above, West was subsequently collared after Denny’s workers gave police a description of the car in which she and her pals fled. West was charged with assault and damage to property. One of West’s friends, Jerome Ivory, 31, was busted for providing police with false identification.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Finally got Malwarebytes Dear Webby, Finally got Maleware Bytes downloaded and ran it. Found lots and lots of PUP's and one bad thing, but it wasn't that browser.e thing I wrote you about. Got rid of everything. Had lots of 'sharing' going on. Hope this took care of it. I remember Maleware bytes being free and all the time. This is only for 14 days trial. When did it change? Thanks for recommending this as I couldn't be sure superanti to work correctly, but will try to run it again when I restart my machine and will definitely run Maleware again befor the trial period is over Wendy Dear Wendy There is more to live than being a fanatic about free stuff. You should have learned that by now. All the stuff Malwarebytes cleaned out, had been attached to supposedly free stuff. Save your couch coins and by month end you can afford to buy MalWareBytes. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An out-of-towner in New York decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here." "You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the harried waiter. "I can only serve one table at a time." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reusing Creamer Bottles with New Lids I go through the local recycling center at my mobile home park. I do this for two reasons. One is because people just don't read the numbers in the triangle and toss in those plastics we can't recycle in Douglas County anymore. The other is to save coffee and creamer containers, and all others that I can use for food storage. Once washed, they are perfect for keeping critters out. So today's tip is that sometimes, you can still use something even though the lid is missing. I find these creamer bottles without the tops and replace them with juice container lids. Still useful, clear and ready to fill with things like: rice beans soup mixes pasta candies staples like flour or pancake mixes and more I love the fact that they are clear and easy to see. I hope this helps! By Sandi/Poor But Proud [451] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "That's a really beautiful fur coat," a friend remarked, "but don't you pity the poor beast who suffered so that you might have it?" The women replied, "Why are you suddenly worried about my husband?" ___________________________________________________
big boy toys
____________________________________________________ Gene took his beat-up pickup truck to the insurance agent for a pre-insurance inspection. The receptionist was sent to look over the truck. Armed with a checklist and a few simple questions, she breezed through the chore. Then she asked, "What are the age and make of the vehicle?" Gene replied, "It's a '65 Ford." Apologetic about its des- perate condition, he added, "It's an old fossil." Inside, the office assistant entered the data into her computer and frowned. "Is there a problem?" asked Gene. "Hmmm," she explained, "the computer won't accept Ford Fossil." ____________________________________________________ Overheard.... Women don't need conventional tools around the house, we'll use anything that's handy. But when pounding a nail, don't use a shoe - shoes cost $40 a pair. A package of frozen hamburgers costs $3 and you are a lot less likely to miss the nail and whack your hand. Use the hamburger. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Back in the '70s I had a part-time job working in ER for Barnes Hospital in St. Louis. After a few months they transferred me to McMillan ER where ENTs were handled (Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat). It wasn't as busy, so I was pretty much by myself when a patient came. My job was to take them upstairs to the doctor. There was no triage there at that time. Most of our cases were either a sore throat or something stuck in their eye. One night a sore throat came in, I filled out the paperwork and just as I got ready to take them upstairs, I guy came in holding his eye. I told him I would be back shortly, he nodded okay. A few minutes later, I returned and the man was gone. I soon found out why. He'd gotten up to get a drink of water and fainted. Someone found him and it turned out he actually had been shot in the eye. I just hoped my apology and flowers the next day helped. Noella ____________________________________________________ Stay away from these hybrids!

Today, November 15, in
1777 The Continental Congress approved the Articles of Confederation
1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that became known 
 as Pikes Peak. 
1864 Union Gen. William T. Sherman and his troops began their 
 "March to the Sea" during the U.S. Civil War. 
1867 the first stock ticker was unveiled in New York City. 
1889 Brazil's monarchy was overthrown. 
1901 Miller Reese patented an electrical hearing aid. 
1940 The first 75,000 men were called to Armed Forces duty under 
 peacetime conscription. 
1965 The Soviet probe, Venera 3, was launched from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. 
 On March 1, 1966, it became the first unmanned spacecraft to reach 
 the surface of another planet when it crashed on Venus. 
1966 The flight of Gemini 12 ended successfully as astronauts 
 James A. Lovell and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin Jr. splashed down safely 
 in the Atlantic Ocean. 
1969 In Washington, DC, a quarter of a million Democrat protesters 
 staged a demonstration against the Vietnam War. 
1985 Britain and Ireland signed an accord giving Dublin an official 
 consultative role in governing Northern Ireland. 
1986 A government tribunal in Nicaragua convicted American Eugene 
 Hasenfus of charges related to his role in delivering arms to 
 Contra rebels. He was sentenced to 30 years in prison and was 
 pardoned a month later. 
1986 Ivan F. Boesky, reputed to be the highest-paid person on Wall 
 Street, faced penalties of $100 million for insider stock trading. 
 It was the highest penalty ever imposed by the SEC. 
1992 Richard Petty drove in the final race of his 35-year career. 
1993 A judge in Mineola, NY, sentenced Joey Buttafuoco to six months 
 in jail for the statutory rape of Amy Fisher. Fisher was serving a 
 prison sentence for shooting and wounding Buttafuoco's wife, Mary Jo. 
1995 Texaco agreed to pay $176 million to settle a 
 race-discrimination lawsuit. 
1999 Representatives from China and the United States signed a major 
 trade agreement that involved China's membership in the World Trade 
 Organization (WTO). 
2000 Three police officers from the Rampart division of the Los Angeles 
 police department were convicted on several counts of conspiracy to 
 obstruct justice. One other officer was acquitted. The case was the 
 first major case against the anti-gang unit. 
2006 Andy Warhol's painting of Communist Party Chairman Mao Zedong 
 sold for $17.4 million. At the same auction "Orange Marilyn" sold 
 for $16.2 million and "Sixteen Jackies" sold for $15.6 million.
2015  smiled.


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What to do with old computer with blank screen 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, November 14

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Notorious Subway Joy-Rider, who was arrested after he stole a NJ Bus Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 13, in 1956 The USSR crushed the Hungarian uprising. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ "Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats." --- Howard Aiken ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Robbie for this one: My Mother taught me STYLE ... If you don't quit that right now I'm going to hit you so hard that by the time you wake up your clothes will be out of style. ______________________________________________________ A young boy about five or six years was talking on the telephone. As his dad listened on, the youngster told his grandparents dejectedly, "Mom is in the hospital, so the twins and Roxie and Billy and Sally and Max-the-dog and me and Dad are home all alone." ______________________________________________________ Lu, China ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Darius McCollum, 49, New York, NY
Notorious Subway Joy-Rider was arrested after he stole a NJ Bus Police say a man with a long history of pretending to be a transit worker and commandeering New York City subway trains for joy rides has been arrested after stealing a commercial passenger bus from New Jersey. The New York Police Department says Darius McCollum was arrested Wednesday by officers who spotted the bus traveling down a street in Brooklyn. McCollum has 29 transit-related arrests, starting in 1981, when he drove the E train to the World Trade Center at the age of 15. Usually he just steals subway trains, but seems to have switched to buses now. In 2008, he was arrested for stealing a Trailways bus from Hoboken, New Jersey. McCollum is being held at a police station in the Park Slope section of Brooklyn.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Yolanda Re: Blank screen on old computer Dear Webby, I hope you can help me. Last Saturday I tried to turn on my computer. The power button lit up and couple of other buttons did as well. The wifi button stayed off. There is no sound and has a blank screen. I have tried to unplug from power source and remove the battery and hold down the power button. I bought it used 2 years ago, so is it worth fixing or just scrap it? I'd appreciate your help and advice. Thank you very much. Yolanda Dear Yolanda That isn't enough information to recommend any way to fix the problem. However, without sound or a working screen, it would probably cost more to fix it than it is worth. Time to shop for a replacement. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One day, after a man had his annual physical, the doctor came out and said, "You had a great check-up. Is there anything that you'd like to talk about or ask me?" "Well," he said, "I was thinking about getting a vasectomy." "That's a big decision! Have you talked it over with your family?" "Yeah, we took a vote... and they're in favor of it, 15 to 2." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Storing Foil and Waxed Paper Boxes I found this idea on Pinterest or here (not sure where, sorry!) It stated that if you get a wire mesh document holder from the Dollar stores, they work great for those boxes you have to roll things out of. I found one in blue for .25 at a thrift store and did just that. It's perfect for 4-5 boxes of foil, wax paper, baggies and more. N-JOY! By Sandi/Poor But Proud [450] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A young woman, a military dependant, came into the dental clinic with a problem tooth. She had several children and appeared to be quite ready to give birth to another one at almost any moment. It was necessary to use X-rays to locate the source of her problem, so she was conducted to the dental unit with an X-ray machine, and her husband followed. The X-ray technician was lining up the cone of the machine preparatory to making the first exposure, when he noticed that the young woman's husband was standing beyond her, but in a position where he would receive some radiation after it passed through her teeth. Being well trained, the technician stopped and asked the fellow to move to a safer position. "Sir, please step over there. Too much of this radiation will make you sterile." A broad smile appeared on the young woman's face, her eyes grew wide with excitement, and she clapped her hands while saying, "Joe, come here, hold my hand!" ___________________________________________________
All about that bass (eye candy for the guys)
____________________________________________________ A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art and the best I could find." "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty." ____________________________________________________ A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the army. "But, wait a minute," said the listener, "She'll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too. Won't she?" "Sure," replied the man. "Well, won't they find out?" The man shrugged, "So far, none of them complained." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Being a member of a small church with its own Bible school many people came and went. It was my duty to keep the church phone list updated. I was shy so this forced me to approach new people and get information from them. I was also single, and any new guys were prospects. A cute redheaded guy started coming and I thought, “I like this job, now I can get his phone number” - you know, for emergencies. I didn’t want to ask him directly because I was afraid he might not understand and think me too forward. I knew through the grapevine that he was staying with another family, and when I asked they told me his name and mentioned that he had just moved down the street. Since several of our members lived on that street, I queried several of them, none of whom knew his number. Finally I approached him and mentioned that I needed his phone number for our church directory and mentioned that I’d asked several others but no one seemed to know. His reply had me wondering myself, “Well, why didn’t you call ‘Information’?” Noella ____________________________________________________
Pedal faster girls!

Today, November 13, in
1832 The first streetcar went into operation in New York City, 
  NY. The vehicle was horse-drawn and had room for 30 people. 
1935 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed the 
 Philippine Islands a free commonwealth after its new 
 constitution was approved.
1940 During World War II, German war planes destroyed most 
 of the English town of Coventry when about 500 Luftwaffe 
 bombers attacked. 
1956 The USSR crushed the Hungarian uprising. 
1968 Yale University announced it was going co-educational. 
1969 Apollo 12 blasted off for the moon from Cape Kennedy, FL. 
1969 During the Vietnam War, Major General Bruno Arthur 
 Hochmuth, commander of the Third Marine Division, became the 
 first general to be killed in Vietnam by enemy fire. 
1972 Blue Ribbon Sports became Nike. 
1979 U.S. President Carter froze all Iranian assets in the 
 United States and U.S. banks abroad in response to the 
 taking of 63 American hostages at the U.S. embassy in Tehran. 
1983 The British government announced that U.S.-made cruise 
 missiles had arrived at the Greenham Common air base amid 
 protests. 
1989 The U.S. Navy ordered an unprecedented 48-hour stand-down 
 in the wake of a recent string of serious accidents. 
1995 The U.S. government instituted a partial shutdown, 
 closing national parks and museums while most government 
 offices operated with skeleton crews. 
2012 The game Candy Crush Saga was released as a mobile app 
 for smartphones.
2015  smiled.


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Does Malwarebytes clash? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, November 13
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Friday, the 13th ! 
be careful! It is bad luck to be superstitious.
Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Kentucky woman arrested after she was found hiding after a car chase. now she's really in doghouse Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 13, in 1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured Montreal. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. --- Rodney Dangerfield (1921 - 2004) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Robbie for this one: My Mother taught me STYLE ... If you don't quit that right now I'm going to hit you so hard that by the time you wake up your clothes will be out of style. ______________________________________________________ At the grocery store I was trailing a frazzled mother with two active children, and I watched as she stalked over to where her young son had perched himself on the rail of the freezer case and was showing off a rather scary balancing act. "If you don't get off there right now," she commanded, "I'm going to e-mail your father!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Myranda Skinner, 28, FRANKFORT, KY
Kentucky woman arrested after she was found hiding -- now she's really in doghouse A Kentucky woman faces charges after authorities say they found her hiding in an empty doghouse after a dangerous pursuit. Frankfort police tell local media that 28-year-old Myranda Skinner and 36-year-old Bryan Wells led officers on a chase Monday morning after an officer noticed a license plate that had been reported stolen. Authorities say Skinner, the driver, tried to run over an officer when the suspects' vehicle was briefly stuck at a dead-end road. Police say the pursuit led to the car crashing through a gate at a golf course, with the suspects fleeing on foot. A K-9 unit found Wells inside the bed of a truck and Skinner, of Lexington, in the doghouse. The suspects were indicted Tuesday on numerous charges, including fleeing police.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Superantispyware clash? Dear Webby, I have superantispyware on my computer. is it ok to download and use maleware bytes ? Wendy Dear Wendy Yes, sure. won't clash with it. Just beware of copycat sites with fake versions. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ The night before her wedding, Wendy talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy." The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..." "I know all about sex, mother," Wendy interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a decent lasagna!" ----------- Smart girl! They learn how to spread long before they learn how to cook a decent lasagna. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Too Much Cream Pushed out of Tube If you accidentally squeeze too much out of a tube, you can get it back in. Put the cap back on the tube. Squeeze the tube with the cap on. Remove the cap. The excess contents will be back in the tube! If you squeezed out a huge amount, you may have to repeat the process, but it will all go back in. By Judy [25] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Bob is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts he asks Bob what the problem is. "Well," said Bob, "I ran afoul of one of those women's questions my wife asks. Now I'm in deep trouble." "What kind of question?, asked Tom. "My wife asked me in her longwinded and complicated and confusing way, if I would still love her if she was old and fat." "That's easy," said Tom. "You just say 'Of course I will'". "Yeah", said Bob, "That's what I did, except I was confused by the longwinded question and mixed up the tenses and said 'Of course I do.'" ___________________________________________________
- the horse won't let him go
____________________________________________________ While on board a Navy carrier, the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd." The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing, "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We awe hunting submawenes." ____________________________________________________ That reminds me.... About ten years ago Julie, one of my clients, was doing web design on the side to help get her Micro-Fiber wholesale business off the ground. One of her design clients was some woman who claimed to be a psychic and fortune teller. To make a long story short, that woman's psychic abilities were so poor, she could not even fortell that Julie would insist on getting paid for her work, and that Julie has friends. I used a dialectizer program to translate the psychics web site into Elmer Fudd style. Then Julie uploaded that to the psychic's site and changed the password. After that, of course, it was written in the stars and quite predictable, that the psychic woman would pay up quickly. After she found out that her fuming and threatening just made Julie laugh even harder, she did pay up! Here are some examples of how a dialectizer works. I'll take a quote and translate it: "A little madness in the Spring Is wholesome even for the King." --- Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) ================================= "A widdle madness in the Spwing Is whowesome even fow de King." -- Emiwy Dickinson (1830-1886) Elmer Fudd is just one of the many dialects that can be selected. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Shortly after my first marriage, we had an elderly couple from our church over for home roasted barbecued chicken. While the chicken finished roasting, I tended to a few other things on top of the stove. I set the table and eventually dinner was ready; everyone sat down to eat as I set out the last of the food - the barbecued chicken. To my dismay, it wasn't just charred barbecue, it was burnt to a crisp. Apparently since the oven's knobs were about waist high on the front of the stove I must have leaned up against them and turned up the heat while doing something else. My elderly guest wryly remarked that he thought burnt offerings stopped when Jesus died on the cross. You do NOT want me in the kitchen! Noella ____________________________________________________

Today, November 13, in
1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured Montreal. 
1789 Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to a friend in which he said, 
 "In this world nothing can be said to be certain, 
 except death and taxes." 
1805 Johann George Lehner, a Viennese butcher, invented a recipe 
 and called it the "frankfurter." We now know it as the "Wiener".
1927 The Holland Tunnel opened to the public, providing access between 
 New York City and New Jersey beneath the Hudson River. 
1933 In Austin, MN, the first sit-down labor strike in America. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a measure lowering 
 the minimum draft age from 21 to 18. 
1956 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws calling for racial 
 segregation on public buses. 
1971 The U.S. spacecraft Mariner 9 became the first spacecraft to 
 orbit another planet, Mars. 
1977 The comic strip "Li'l Abner" by Al Capp appeared in newspapers 
 for the last time. 
1982 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was dedicated in Washington, DC. 
1984 A libel suit against Time, Inc. by former Israeli Defense 
 Minister Ariel Sharon went to trial in New York. 
1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan publicly acknowledged that the 
 U.S. had sent "defensive weapons and spare parts" to Iran. He 
 denied that the shipments were sent to free hostages, but that 
 they had been sent to improve relations. 
1994 Sweden voted to join the European Union. 
1997 Iraq expelled six U.N. arms inspectors that were U.S. citizens. 
1998 Monica Lewinsky signed a deal with St. Martin's Press for the 
 North American rights to her story about her affair with U.S. 
 President Bill Clinton. 
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed an executive order that 
 would allow for military tribunals to try any foreigners captured 
 with connections to the terrorist attacks on the United States 
 on September 11, 2001. It was the first time since World War II 
 that a president had taken such action. 
2006 A deal was finalized for Google Inc. to acquire YouTube for 
 $1.65 million in Google stock. 
2009 NASA announced that water had been discoved on the moon. The 
 discovery came from the planned impact on the moon of the Lunar 
 Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS). 
2015  smiled.


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No browsers working anymore on VISTA 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, November 12

Thanks Joseph!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a NY man for leading cops on a 100 mph chase Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 12, in 1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of the garment that is named after him. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Books...are like lobster shells, we surround ourselves with 'em, then we grow out of 'em and leave 'em behind, as evidence of our earlier stages of development. --- Dorothy L. Sayers (1893 - 1957) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit. Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks. "Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was 185." Her niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you now?" ______________________________________________________ For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions. "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being...a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows..." To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes as she nodded in agreement. She replied,"Yes, I agree, I think it would be a great idea! That would make a huge difference to your life and is just what you need. Sure, I'll gladly help you find a nice puppydog for you." ______________________________________________________ Fast moon ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Indiana Z. Jones, 21, Rushville, N.Y.
NY Indiana Jones Leads Cops On 100 MPH Chase A man named Indiana Z. Jones is accused of leading deputies in Yates County, New York, on a chase that reached upwards of 100 mph, according to the Associated Press. Authorities said the wild ride began Sunday evening when Jones tried to evade a traffic stop in his hometown of Rushville, according to MyTwinTiers.com. The alleged "temple of zoom" lasted six minutes and reached 100 mph before deputies deployed stop sticks in Benton that punctured the tires of Jones' 2002 Audi A6, according to the Elmira Star Gazette. Jones was charged with unlawfully fleeing a police officer, reckless operation, speeding and having an unregistered, uninsured and uninspected vehicle, according to UPI.com. He was later released on $1.000 bond. No attempt was made to reach Harrison Ford for comment.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Tom Re: Browser not working on VISTA Dear Webby, I have an older HP computer running Vista, For the past two days, I have been unable to access the internet, I've run CrapCleaner and it shows that Firefox is running but nothing is showing on the monitor. I can "force close" it on CCleaner but when I go to turn it on, NOTHING ! Internet Explorer is on the machine but that doesn't work, either, so I am hesitant to uninstall FireFox and then try to reinstall it. I know it's an old computer and I am holding off buying a new one. Until now it has been satisfactory for my needs. Any suggestions???? I have a 3 Year old Toshiba laptop running Windows 7 which accesses FireFox and the internet so I am not without Facebook but I do miss a lot of my other programs. Many thanks for any advice tom Dear Tom Vista was never any good or very secure, but Microsoft still supports it. Considering how many Million XP computers are still working fine, the problem is not the choice of operating systems, no matter what the computer peddlers tell you. It seems your Vista computer is infected. Run Malwarebytes. http://webby.com/malwarebytes Once your infection has been fixed, FireFox should work again. You might have to update FireFox, but no need to uninstall it. You might have to download Malwarebytes on the Toshiba and copy it over to the HP via local network. To see if you have Internet access, or a modem / cable problem, click on START type cmd and hit ENTER in the DOS style screen that pops up,type tracert webby.com If you have a proper Internet connection, it will trace the route from you to Webby.com. You can, of course, also try any other domain, that you think should be up and running. If you don't get a trace route, check your cables. Have FUN! DearWebby DearWebby Ran Malwarebytes and it appears to have done the "trick'. FireFox is up and running as are all my other internet programs. Seems like there were problems in the registry which were corrected by Malwarebytes. Many thanks for your advice. Hope all is well with you physically, Obviously, mentally you are still functioning at the top of your game. tom :-) _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!" My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't clean up your act, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!" My mother taught me about JUSTICE - "One day you will have kids, and I KNOW they will turn out just like YOU.. THEN you'll see what it's like." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Sharpie from Faux Leather I was able to remove Sharpie permanent marker from faux leather using WD-40. It came off super easy and didn't damage the finish. Good luck. By HARISN9000 [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other." "Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puzzled teacher. "But you only have two ears, boy." "Guess I'm no good at math, either!" ___________________________________________________
Graphics - making of a TV series
____________________________________________________ Jill was selling tickets at the movie. A woman asked her: "How much is a ticket?" Jill said, "Nine dollars." She said, "How much for children?" Jill said, "Same price, nine dollars." She said, "The airlines charge half fare for children." Jill said, "OK, put the kids on a plane somewhere, and you come to the movie. You'll enjoy it a lot more that way." ____________________________________________________ While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he said, "Excuse me. This is my stop." Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well," she said," go ahead." "And this is my pole," he said. My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added, "I just bought it at the hardware store." And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the bus. ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders When I was new in the work force, I was told that because I had not yet worked a month, I would not get Veterans Day. OK, fine, no big deal. So I showed up at the usual time, and found that the entrance was locked up. I knew, however, that the back door by the dumpster was rather sloppy, and one of the girls, who had locked herself out accidentally when emptying her garbage, got back in by using her credit card. So I figured I would try that, but found the door was not really locked. So I went to my station, tunred on the lights and started working. About two hours later the big boss and four cops showed up and asked me what the heck I was doing. It was a lot funnier for them than for me, but I did not get in trouble. The boss explained things for me, and gave me a Twenty for my work, and then they escorted me out. Noella ____________________________________________________
What a fantasy land of photos.

Today, November 12, in
1799 Andrew Ellicott Douglass witnesses the Leonids meteor 
 shower from a ship off the Florida Keys. 
1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard 
 at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of 
 the garment that is named after him. 
1915 Theodore W. Richards, of Harvard University, became the first 
 American to be awarded the Nobel Prize in chemistry. 
1918 Austria and Czechoslovakia were declared independent republics. 
1927 Joseph Stalin became the undisputed ruler of the Soviet Union. 
 Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party leading to 
 Stalin coming to power. 
1931 Maple Leaf Gardens opened in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
1933 In Philadelphia, the first Sunday football game was played. 
1942 During World War II, naval battle of Guadalcanal began 
 between Japanese and American forces. The Americans won a major 
 victory. 
1944 During World War II, the German battleship "Tirpitz" was 
 sunk off the coast of Norway. 
1946 The first drive-up banking facility opened at the Exchange 
 National Bank in Chicago, IL. 
1948 The war crimes tribunal sentenced Japanese Premier Hideki 
 Tojo and six other World War II Japanese leaders to death. 
1953 The National Football League (NFL) policy of blacking out 
 home games was upheld by Judge Allan K. Grim
1954 Ellis Island, the immigration station in New York Harbor, 
 closed after processing more than 20 million immigrants since 1892. 
1964 Paula Murphy set the female land speed record 226.37 MPH. 
1972 Don Shula, coach of the Miami Dolphins, became the first NFL 
 head coach to win 100 regular season games in 10 seasons. 
1979 U.S. President Carter ordered a halt to all oil imports from 
 Iran in response to 63 Americans being taken hostage at the U.S. 
 embassy in Tehran, Iran on November 4. 
1980 The U.S. space probe Voyager I came within 77,000 miles of 
 Saturn while transmitting data back to Earth. 
1982 Yuri V. Andropov was elected to succeed the late Brezhnev
1984 Space shuttle astronauts Dale Gardner and Joe Allen snared 
 the Palapa B-2 satellite in history's first space salvage. 
1985 In Norfolk, VA, Arthur James Walker was sentenced to life in 
 prison for his role in a spy ring run by his brother, John A. 
 Walker Jr. 
1987 The American Medical Association issued a policy statement that 
 said it was unethical for a doctor to refuse to treat someone solely 
 because that person had AIDS or was HIV-positive. 
1990 Japanese Emperor Akihito formally assumed the Chrysanthemum Throne. 
1991 In the U.S., Robert Gates was sworn in as CIA director. 
1995 The space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to dock with 
 the Russian space station Mir. 
1997 Four Americans and their Pakistani driver were shot to death in 
 Karachi, Pakistan. The Americans were oil company employees. 
1997 The UN Security Council imposed new sanctions on Iraq for 
 constraints being placed on UN arms inspectors. 
1997 Ramzi Yousef was found guilty of masterminding the 1993 bombing 
 of the World Trade Center. 
1998 Daimler-Benz completed a merger with Chrysler to form 
 Daimler-Chrysler AG. 
2001 American Airlines flight 587 crashed just minutes after take 
 off from Kennedy Airport in New York. The Airbus A300 crashed into 
 the Rockaway Beach part of Queens. All 260 people aboard killed. 
2001 It was reported that the Northern Alliance had taken the Kabul, 
 Afghanistan, from the ruling Taliban. The Norther Alliance at this 
 point was reported to have control over most of the northern areas 
 of Afghanistan. 
2002 Stan Lee filed a lawsuit against Marvel Entertainment Inc. 
 that claimed the company had cheated him out of millions of dollars 
 in movie profits related to the 2002 movie "Spider-Man." Lee was 
 the creator of Spider-Man, the Incredible Hulk and Daredevil. 
2013 In New York, it was announced that the new World Trade Center 
 was the tallest building in the United States. The height was measured 
 at 1,776 feet. The building was also the fourth tallest building in 
 the world at the time. 
2013 U.S. Airways and AMR reached an antitrust settlement with the 
 U.S. Department of Justice which would allow a merger that would create 
 the world's largest airline. 
2014 NATO commander Gen Philip Breedlove reported that Russian military 
 equipment and Russian combat troops had been seen entering Ukraine in 
 convoys over several days. 
2014 The European Space Agency's Rosetta spacecraft used its lander Philae 
 to perform the first soft landing on a comet. The comet was 
 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko. 
2015  smiled.


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How to back up OneTab 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, November 11
Remebrance Day
Veterans Day


Pittance of time at 11:00 am

Also see Barb's Bonus Link near the bottom.


Thanks Gene!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman. who was arrested after assaulting live-in boyfriend with pooper scooper Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 11, in 1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged in Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. --- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865) "A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another's." --- Jean Paul Richter (1763-1825) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The farmer's son was returning from the market with a crate of chickens his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had found them all, the boy reluctantly returned home, expecting the worst. "Pa, the chickens got loose," the boy confessed sadly, "but I managed to find all twelve of them." "Well, you done a good job, son," the farmer beamed. "You left with seven." ______________________________________________________ A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!" ______________________________________________________ Anthem, Arizona today at 11:11 am ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Megan Smith, 27, Bradenton, Florida
Florida woman. who was arrested after assaulting live-in boyfriend with pooper scooper A woman clobbered her live-in boyfriend in the face with a “pooper scooper” during an early-morning confrontation in their apartment, according to Florida cops. Megan Smith, 27, was arrested for battery around 5 AM Monday when an argument about “living arrangements” with victim Alexander Buck allegedly “turned physical.” Police charge that Smith “picked up a pooper scooper and hit the victim in the face with it multiple times.” The pooper scooper strikes knocked Buck’s glasses off his face and left him with “multiple abrasions to his left eyebrow and forehead.” Buck, who fled the couple’s Bradenton home and called 911, subsequently declined treatment from an EMS team dispatched to the residence. During police questioning, Smith reportedly copped to striking Buck with the scooper, which is used to handle cat litter. “She stated she hit him because the victim would not stop arguing with her,” an investigator noted. Smith, seen in the adjacent mug shot, was released yesterday from the county jail after posting $500 bond. She is scheduled for an October 15 arraignment on the misdemeanor charge.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wanda Re: Back up OneTab Dear Webby, You recommended OneTab. I like it and have used it since you recommended it. Big question is, how do I back it up so that I can move it to my next computer? Thanks Wanda Dear Wanda Open OneTab. On the right top you have some menu items. The third one is Export / Import URLs Click on that. You see a list of all the URLS in text format. Click in the middle of that text stuff, hit CTRL A to highlight the text Jump to a new text document in NoteTab or WordPad or whater you use for plain text. Click into that and hit CTRL V That pastes it. Save it as Onetab11-11-2015, or whatever the date is on your planet. That's all there is to it. Eventually you have a log of diback-ups from different dates. Importing onto a different computer is just as easy. Select IMPORT instead of Export copy the list of URLs from the backup you want, and paste it. You can't browse to it, but you'll get the hang quickly. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A trainee for the New York Police Department, was asked the following hypothetical question: "If your beat was a lonely path in Central Park, and a beautiful young girl rushed up to you and declared that a strange man had suddenly grabbed her, and hugged and kissed her, what would you do?" The police-officer-in-training replied without hesitation, "I would endeavor to reconstruct the crime." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Flatware Scuffs on Porcelain Dishes My husband is a heavy stirrer and our everyday porcelain dishes were showing flatware scuffing. I tried the Weiman's Stove Top Cleaner. Rubbing with a damp paper towel, this is the cleaning results from a moderate swiping motion. I did half of the bowl for comparison purposes. By Myrna [16] Weimans Stove Top Cleaner is like the Barman's Friend cleaner on Turbo. You just wipe it onto the stovetop or porcellain with a yello-green scouring pad, and rinse after a minute or two. Done. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ At a small parish in rural New England there lived a priest, and several nuns. One day, one of the older nuns was noticing that the rugs in the church were beginning to fray. She went to the priest and told him, "Father, I believe your rugs need to be replaced soon." The priest thanked her for bringing it to his attention, and told her that he thought that she had been there long enough to refer to church property as "our" not "your." Several days later, the same nun noticed that the hedge needed to be trimmed. She again went to the priest and told him, "Father, I've noticed that your...(-and after a stern look from the priest-) I mean OUR hedge needs to be trimmed." The priest thanked her for again bringing something to his attention and this time asked her if she had seen his watch that had gone missing. She said she hadn't, but assured him she would look for it. Another few days passed, and the parish received word that the bishop would be coming for a visit. The whole parish was in an uproar of cleaning, and decorating. On the day the bishop arrived, while the priest was greeting the bishop in front of the church, the same nun came running down the front stairs yelling, "Father, Father, I found your watch!!" The priest, annoyed at the interruption, gave her another one of his "stern looks". "Why yes, Father, Sorry. I found it under OUR bed." ___________________________________________________
Armistice Day 1918
____________________________________________________ The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?" ____________________________________________________ A cute young secretary wore tight knit dresses that showed off her figure, especially when she walked. And she enjoyed showing off. One afternoon her boss motioned her into his office and closed the door. Pointing to her tightly covered derriere, he asked, "Is that for sale?" "Of course not!" she snapped angrily, blushing furiously. Unchanged, he replied quietly, "Then, I suggest you might want to tone down the advertising during working hours." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders Did you ever get really angry on the phone, go off on a tirade and angrily slam the phone down only to have it ring again five seconds later? Thinking it's the same person, I started the yelling again - Ooops, now I've got to apologize to my friend. Noella ____________________________________________________
Antem memorial
They don't have a live camera. If you want to see that, you will have to go and visit. Anthem is just 25 miles north of the Phoenix airport. Just take the I-17, head north about 25 miles, and when you get there, hang a right at West Daisy Mountain, and a left at the first divided road: North Gavilan Peak Parkway. At north Venture drive hang a right and immediat left. There is parking there. Even if you can't make it there for November 11, it is still v ery impressive to see at any time of the year. DearWebby

Today, November 11, in
1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged 
 in Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. 
1851 The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark. 
1868 The first indoor amateur track and field meet was held by the 
 New York Athletic Club. 
1880 Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged at 
 the Melbourne jail at age 25. 
1887 Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being convicted 
 of being connected to a bombing that killed eight police officers. 
1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany signed 
 an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day in the 
 United States. 
1918 Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of Germany. 
1920 The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in Westminster 
 Abbey. The service was recorded with the first electronic recording 
 process developed by Lionel Guest and H.O. Merriman. 
1921 The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier was dedicated at Arlington Cemetery 
 in Virginia by U.S. President Harding. 
1940 The Jeep made its debut. 
1942 During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of France. 
1952 The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin and 
 Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA. 
1965 The government of Rhodesia declared its independence from Britain. 
 The country later became known as Zimbabwe. 
1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The craft circled 
 the Earth 59 times before returning. 
1972 The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the South 
 Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct involvement in the 
 Vietnam War by the U.S. military. 
1975 Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from Portugal. 
1981 Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100-story John Hancock 
 Center in Chicago in about six hours. 
1981 The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat Division in 
 Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class submarine. 
1984 The Reverend Martin Luther King Sr. died in Atlanta at age 84. 
1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam Veterans Memorial 
 as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund. 
1984 Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney transplant in 
 Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age 5. 
1986 Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys," becoming the 
 second largest computer company. 
1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record 53.9 million 
 dollars in New York. 
1988 Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven bodies buried on 
 the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea Puente was later charged in the 
 deaths of nine people, convicted of three murders and sentenced to life 
 in prison. 
1990 Stormie Jones, the world's first heart-liver transplant recipient, 
 died at a Pittsburgh hospital at age 13. 
1991 The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16 years to help 
 the nation arrange democratic elections. 
1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a letter that 
 Americans had been held in prison camps after World War II. Some were 
 "summarily executed," but others were still living in his country 
 voluntarily. 
1992 The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests. 
1993 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was dedicated to honor 
 the more than 11,000 women who had served in the Vietnam War. 
1994 In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an Israeli 
 military checkpoint killing three soldiers. 
1996 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall That Heals." 
 The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial that would 
 tour communities throughout the United States. 
1997 The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were laying off 
 10,000 employees. 
1998 Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement with the 
 Palestinians. 
2015  smiled.


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What to do if Skype messed up your mug shot? 



Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, November 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man. who wass arrested after assaulting 82 year old gramma Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, November 10, in 1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day is observed as the birth date of the United States Marine Corps. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties. --- Aesop Advise and counsel him; if he does not listen, let adversity teach him. --- Ethiopian Proverb ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Late one night during bad weather, the following was heard over the radio at an airport control tower: Helicopter Pilot: "Tower, I'm holding at 3000 over Heli-pad 1." Second voice: "NO!!! You can't be doing that! I'm holding at 3000 over that pad!" There was a brief moment of silence. First voice again: "You idiot! You're my co-pilot!" ______________________________________________________ Tim was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully. "Give me one last request, Dear," he said. "Of course, Tim," his wife said softly. "Six months after I die, he said, "I want you to marry Lawrence." "But I thought you hated Lawrence," she said. With his last breath, Tim said, "I do!" ______________________________________________________ Tougher than hockey ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Adam Tanzer, 26, Palm Harbor, Florida
Florida man. who wass arrested after assaulting 82 year old gramma A Florida man pushed his 82-year-old grandmother to the ground Saturday night after he was denied "her debit card, which he needed to buy cake,” police allege. Adam Tanzer, 26, was arrested for battering the elderly victim during a dispute inside her residence in Palm Harbor, a community about 25 miles west of Tampa. According to cops, Tanzer pushed Barbara Bliss to the ground “in an aggressive way,” causing her to fall on her hands and hip. Tanzer was allegedly angry that his grandmother “took away her debit card he needed to buy cake.” Bliss, cops noted, was yelling at Tanzer, so he “pushed her away from himself and caused Bliss to fall on her hip.” The report does not indicate what injuries were suffered by Bliss, who did require medical treatment. Tanzer, pictured above, was charged with battery on a person 65 or older, a felony. He was released from jail yesterday afternoon, and has been ordered to have no contact with his grandmother.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Adele Re: Skype picture messed up Dear Webby, All of a sudden my Skype picture got changed. Instead of a carefully selected picture it nhow shows me with curlers and green mudpack. Terrible! How do I get my picture back? Adele Dear Adele Your 1976 glamor shot is gone. You will not get that back. You have two options now: Use Skype and take a new picture, like your already famous rhino with green mud-pack picture, or browse for an acceptable one. A lot of people use a picture of their daughters or grand daughters. Some use a snapshot harvested at the mall. It is entirely up to you. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Jean A woman goes to the doctor, worried about her husband's temper. The doctor asks "what's the problem?" The woman says, "doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me." The doctor says, "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down." Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor, looking fresh and reborn. The woman says, "doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?" The doctor says, "the water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Alternative to Wet Wipes Since the thick cloth Wet Wipes are expensive and not good for a septic system, I always keep a small spray bottle with some water in it within a spare toilet roll next to my toilet. You could even add one tiny drop off liquid soap and/or essential oil if desired. Just spritz the tissue you are going to use and wipe! It's great for an extra clean wipe up from the young to non so young! By Donna [294] Those cheap 8" x 8" Microfiber samples work even better. They don't tear, and can be washed and line dried. Their cleaning ability is a thousand times better. Ketchup from a white rug? No problem. Ball point pen from aunt Louises's blouse? No problem. Buy a box. Visitors are going to borrow them. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Jack had the toughest time of his life. First, he got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as he was recovering from these, he got tuberculosis, pneumonia and pythisis. Then he got hypodermics. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. Jack completely lost his memory for a while. He had diabetes and indigestion, as well as gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis. It was the hardest spelling test he ever took. ___________________________________________________
GoPro falls into pit of rattlesnakes (the guys are going to love this one)
____________________________________________________ At a truck stop off I-40 in Arkansas about 2 o'clock in the morning, a trucker was having a cup of coffee and a piece of pie and was romancing the solitary waitress there. All of a sudden, three mean looking bikers came in. They observed the connection between the waitress and the trucker and started to make nasty and suggestive remarks trying to get the trucker to start something. But the trucker didn't say anything, just paid his bill and walked out. One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Looks like your boyfriend ain't much of a man." The waitress just leaned on the cash register and looked out the window and said, "Yeah, and he ain't much of a trucker either. He just ran his semi over three bikes out there." ____________________________________________________ Dave went on a business trip for a few days. When he returned, his wife reported that the dog really missed him. "She spent every night at the front door, waiting for you to come home," she said. "What an example of true love," Dave replied. "I wonder if you'd be that concerned about me?" "Honey," she answered, "if you were gone overnight, and I didn't know where you were, you can be sure me and my rolling pin would be waiting for you at the front door." ____________________________________________________ Noella's Blunders I used to love shopping downtown at the large department stores, you know the ones, where ladies' clothing is on one floor, men's on another, fine dining on another, etc. There's usually 9-10 floors of shopping. I miss those days. Anyway, one day while shopping, I was walking along, not paying any attention to where I was going and I ran into someone. I immediately started apologizing. I stepped back to get out of their way, and to my dismay, it wasn’t a person, it wasn’t even a manikin, it was a large round supporting post. Do you know how you feel when you're apologizing to the supporting post of a building? Noella ____________________________________________________
Well, this is different.

Today, November 10, in
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of 
 the Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence 
 after the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The 
 Marine Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. 
 This day is observed as the birth date of the United States 
 Marine Corps. 
1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of dueling. 
1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David 
 Livingstone. Livingston was a missing Scottish missionary in 
 central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: 
 "Dr. Livingstone, I presume?" 
1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White House. 
1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan. 
1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began when 
 Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his counterpart 
 in Alameda, CA. 
1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA. 
1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism. 
1975 The U.N. General Assembly approved a resolution that 
 equated Zionism with racism. The resolution was repealed in 
 December of 1991. 
1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its crew of 
 29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior. 
1976 The Utah Supreme Court gave approval for Gary Gilmore to be 
 executed, according to his wishes. The convicted murderer was 
 put to death the following January. 
1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been kidnapped 
 in a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused to pay the 
 cab fare. 
1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack 
 at age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov. 
1988 The U.S. Department of Energy announced that Texas would be 
 the home of the atom-smashing super-collider. The project was 
 cancelled by a vote of the U.S. Congress in Oct. 1993. 
1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of marital 
 sexual assault against his wife who sexually mutilated him. 
 Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of malicious wounding her 
 husband. 
1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady Bill, 
 which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases. 
1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop enforcing 
 the arms embargo against the Bosnian government the following 
 week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to lifting the ban. 
1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the action 
 would end trade sanctions. 
1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro-Wiwa 
 along with several other anti-government activists. 
1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after a 
 massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The disaster left 
 24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead. 
1997 WorldCom Inc. acquired MCI Communication Corporation. It was 
 the largest merger in U.S. history valued at $37 billion. 
1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the murder of two 
 CIA employees in 1993. 
1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's murder 
 conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English au pair to 
 time served. She had served 279 days in the death of 8-month-old 
 Matthew Eappen. 
1998 At the White House, "The Virtual Wall" website (www.thevirtualwall.org) 
 was unveiled. The site allows visitors to experience The Wall 
 through the Internet. 
2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's membership. 
2015  smiled.


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