Email Virus 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, November 12

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 
Troopers seize $1.3 million in marijuana 
during Olmsted Falls traffic stop

______________________________________________________
Today, November 12 in
1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard
at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of
the garment that is named after him. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others. --- Jules Renard (1864 - 1910) Anybody who has doubts about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one. --- George Meany Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ Pun Alert ! Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his rented van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ While working as a mall Santa, I had many children ask for electric trains. "If you get a train," I would tell each one, "you know your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that okay?" The usual answer was a quick yes. But after I asked one boy this question, he became very quiet. Trying to move the conversation along, I asked what else he would like Santa to bring him. He promptly replied, "Another train." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. "We need a fourth for poker," said the friend. "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?" "Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, three doctors are there already....!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Keryl J. Lopez, 48, McKinleyville, California Troopers seize $1.3 million in marijuana during Olmsted Falls traffic stop A California woman is facing charges after Ohio Highway Patrol troopers seized 510 pounds of marijuana in a Nov. 5 traffic stop in Olmsted Falls, according to a news release. At 1:20 p.m. troopers stopped a 2018 Penske Truck with Indiana registration for speed and marked lanes violations on the Ohio Turnpike. Criminal indicators were observed and a drug-sniffing canine alerted to the vehicle, according to the release. A probable cause search revealed the contraband. The driver, Keryl J. Lopez, 48 of McKinleyville, California, is facing single felony counts of possession and trafficking in marijuana. She is being held in the Strongsville City Jail. If convicted, she could face up to 22 years in prison and up to a $40,000 fine. There is no mug shot of her available anywhere on the net. From: Roland Re: Email virus Dear Webby Please check this one out, see if it's true, Thanks, Roland This one is called the (FTC/DOJ COMPLAINT) e-mail: Another E-mail Virus I just came across a new e-mail virus that is starting to spread itself around the Web. It comes as an e-mail from the Department of Justice. Keep reading for all the details! ...Blah, blah, blah Currently, no antivirus companies have a patch to protect anyone from this attack.......... Hi Roland Just a BS hoax. Whenever you read "Currently, no antivirus companies have a ....." "Microsoft announced..." "IBM announced ...." "AOL announced..." "FTC announced..." then it is BS. Guaranteed. Nobody reads mail from the Dept. of Justice anyway, unless they are some crook on probation. If you have MailWasher, that kind of stuff never makes it to your mailbox. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Martin for this story: Two men are out ice fishing at their favourite fishing hole, just fishing quietly and drinking beer. Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Rick says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over 2 months." Dave continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
On the way hom as I was sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that the flight was full. The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats. In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later. About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer. About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter said, "If there is anyone else OTHER than the flight crew who'd like to volunteer, please step forward." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com sy Classic Christmas Ornament Lightly spray paint pine cones with gold or silver paint to make a classic Christmas ornament. Use florist wire or paper clips to hang them on the tree. Or, put them in a bowl or basket as a as a centerpiece or table decoration. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Oldest Human Footprints in North America Discovered
___________________________________________________ One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew, she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate, and he returned 1-1/2 hours later with a black eye. "Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asked. "No," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying: "Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous." Underneath, a nurse had written: "The last five are pretty risky, too."

Today November 12 in

1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules Leotard
at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the designer of
the garment that is named after him. 

1918 Austria and Czechoslovakia were declared independent
republics. 

1921 Representatives of nine nations gathered for the start of
the Washington Conference for Limitation of Armaments. 

1927 Joseph Stalin became the undisputed ruler of the Soviet
Union. Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party leading
to Stalin coming to power. 

1931 Maple Leaf Gardens opened in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. It
was to be the new home of the Toronto Maple Leafs in the National
Hockey League (NHL). 

1942 During World War II, naval battle of Guadalcanal began
between Japanese and American forces. The Americans won a major
victory. 

1944 During World War II, the German battleship "Tirpitz" was
sunk off the coast of Norway. 

1946 The first drive-up banking facility opened at the Exchange
National Bank in Chicago, IL. 

1948 The war crimes tribunal sentenced Japanese Premier Hideki
Tojo and six other World War II Japanese leaders to death. 

1954 Ellis Island, the immigration station in New York Harbor,
closed after processing more than 20 million immigrants since
1892. 

1964 Paula Murphy set the female land speed record 226.37 MPH. 

1979 U.S. President Carter ordered a halt to all oil imports from
Iran in response to 63 Americans being taken hostage at the U.S.
embassy in Tehran, Iran on November 4. 

1980 The U.S. space probe Voyager I came within 77,000 miles of
Saturn while transmitting data back to Earth. 

1982 Yuri V. Andropov was elected to succeed the late Leonid I.
Brezhnev as general secretary of the Soviet Communist Party's
Central Committee. 

1984 Space shuttle astronauts Dale Gardner and Joe Allen snared
the Palapa B-2 satellite in history's first space salvage. 

1985 In Norfolk, VA, Arthur James Walker was sentenced to life in
prison for his role in a spy ring run by his brother, John A.
Walker Jr. 

1987 The American Medical Association issued a policy statement
that said it was unethical for a doctor to refuse to treat
someone solely because that person had AIDS or was HIV-positive. 

1990 Japanese Emperor Akihito formally assumed the Chrysanthemum
Throne. 

1995 The space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to dock
with the Russian space station Mir. 

1997 Four Americans and their Pakistani driver were shot to death
in Karachi, Pakistan. The Americans were oil company employees. 

1997 The UN Security Council imposed new sanctions on Iraq for
constraints being placed on UN arms inspectors. 

1997 Ramzi Yousef was found guilty of masterminding the 1993
bombing of the World Trade Center. 

1998 Daimler-Benz completed a merger with Chrysler to form
Daimler-Chrysler AG. 

2001 American Airlines flight 587 crashed just minutes after take
off from Kennedy Airport in New York. The Airbus A300 crashed
into the Rockaway Beach section of Queens. All 260 people aboard
were killed. 

2001 It was reported that the Northern Alliance had taken the
Kabul, Afghanistan, from the ruling Taliban. The Norther Alliance
at this point was reported to have control over most of the
northern areas of Afghanistan. 

2002 Stan Lee filed a lawsuit against Marvel Entertainment Inc.
that claimed the company had cheated him out of millions of
dollars in movie profits related to the 2002 movie "Spider-Man."
Lee was the creator of Spider-Man, the Incredible Hulk and
Daredevil. 

2013 A series of portraits of Lucian Freud by the British painter
Francis Bacon known as Three Studies of Lucian Freud sold for
$142.4 million at an auction in New York City. 

2013 In New York, it was announced that the new World Trade
Center was the tallest building in the United States. The height
was measured at 1,776 feet. The building was also the fourth
tallest building in the world at the time. 

2013 U.S. Airways and AMR reached an antitrust settlement with
the U.S. Department of Justice which would allow a merger that
would create the world's largest airline. 

2014 NATO commander Gen Philip Breedlove reported that Russian
military equipment and Russian combat troops had been seen
entering Ukraine in columns over several days. 

2014 The European Space Agency's Rosetta spacecraft used its
lander Philae to perform the first soft landing on a comet. The
comet was 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko. 

2018  smiled.


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Mailwasher filters 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, November 11

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

OZ man ‘punched prostitute in the face’ 
when she refused to have sex without a condom

______________________________________________________
Today, November 11 in
1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany
signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day
in the United States. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) You can observe a lot just by watching. --- Yogi Berra (1925 - ) ______________________________________________________ Sometimes Norm can be so positive and enthusiastic about whatever's he's doing that it's disconcerting to me. I wonder if he's walking in the same world I am. Once we were fishing in a mountain lake. We hadn't caught a thing. Norm had rowed the boat to five or six different spots, looking for the fish to bite. Finally, after about three hours, he got this big grin on his face and said, "Now we can really start fishing. We know where the fish aren't!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Wilbur Last night, my friend and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." So she got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my wine. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ While down south on a visit, the young Yankee made a date with a local lovely. When he called for her, she was clad in a low-cut, tight-fitting, long dress. He remarked, "That's certainly a beautiful dress." "Sho 'nough?" she asked sweetly. "It sure does," he replied. ______________________________________________________ Tag Team _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Andrew Strogylos, 36, Sydney, Australia OZ man ‘punched prostitute in the face’ when she refused to have sex without a condom Mortgage broker Andrew Strogylos, 36, was charged with common assault and assault occasioning actual bodily harm against the woman who worked at a brothel in Sydney, Australia. He allegedly attacked her when she refused unprotected sex after Strogylos handed over $200 for a ‘platinum service’. Strogylos had been wearing a condom when the service began, but allegedly took it off before trying to have sex with the 28-year-old sex worker at the Zinia Brothel on March 16. Burwood Local Court heard that Strogylos argued with the woman when she tried to ‘shut down’ the one-hour session. Court documents claim Strogylos told the woman he had paid $200 for platinum service and she should ‘offer those services’. The court heard the woman called for help and covered herself with a towel until her co-worker Yi Xun Gan entered the room. Police allege in court documents that Strogylos then spat in the woman’s face, she poured water on him and he allegedly retaliated by punching her in the face. Mr Gan was also allegedly punched in the face after trying to help the woman. Strogylos was arrested on April 27 at his home in Belmore, Sydney. time to act Police allegedly uncovered a stash of steroids including 63 10ml vials of testosterone in his bedroom, the court heard. He was also charged with five counts of possessing a prohibited drug and supply prohibited drug, after police allegedly uncovered pills and other items at this home. Strogylos, who did not apply for bail and was formally refused bail. It is hoped that he will be taught manners in jail. From: Jenn Re: Mailwasher filters Dear Webby I finally took your advice and downloaded Mailwasher. Can you suggest some filters for spam? I already set up the "=?ISO-" one you suggested, but wonder if you have any more suggestions. Also, how do I keep it from bouncing legitimate mail I get from the various lists that I'm on (including yours)? Do I have to make sure to get them all on my friends list? Jenn Dear Jenn For making filters just make them as spam comes in. They are really easy to make, and a very rewarding type of fun. When you see spam, look for things different spams have in common. A typically common word is "enlarge", and that also is part of enlargement. Hit CTRL F7, the Filter editor opens, make a filter that reacts to that word, deletes it and hides it. The same for "Prescript", and so on. No need to use the full words, just the common parts of them. With newsletters, make GOOD filters for them. That is more precise than to just add them to the friends list. Mark them as legitimate and hide them from the list Just add filters as required by the type of spam you get. The reward is when you open up in the morning and read in the status line: 412 emails hidden, and then gleefully pounce on the "PROCESS" button. The only better way to start the day is not a family safe topic '-) Have FUN! DearWebby
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Visiting the modern art museum, a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby. "This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?" "No, Madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
HER SIDE OF THE STORY He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his house, I said that I love him and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he doesn't say it back or anything. We finally got back to his place and I was wondering if he was going to dump me! So I tried to ask him about it but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to sleep. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and we had sex. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave but I just cried myself to sleep. I dunno, I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else??? HIS SIDE OF THE STORY My team lost. That cost me a bundle! Felt Kinda Tired. Got laid though. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Getting the Most out of Turkey or Chicken Bones To pull the calcium out of chicken or turkey bones, add 1 ounce of vinegar to each quart of water (up to 4 ounces total) when you are making soup stock. It will not give a vinegar taste to the soup but will draw out ALL the nutrients in the bones. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Shirk Report
___________________________________________________ Two Yuppettes were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset, I've lost 20 pounds." "Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend. "Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another fifteen pounds first." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Fatal Things To Say If Your Wife Is Pregnant I finished the Oreos. Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds. Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a baby! I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever! Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl. Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella. Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt. Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott! I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth? Are your ankles supposed to look like that? Get your *own* ice cream. Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today. Got milk? Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney? Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar! Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water. Your stomach sticks out almost as much as your rear! You don't have the guts to pull that trigger!

Today November 11 in
1620 The Mayflower Compact was signed by the 41 men on the
Mayflower when they landed in what is now Provincetown Harbor
near Cape Cod. The compact called for "just and equal laws." 

1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged in
Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. 

1851 The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark. It had been in
use for a few hundred years, but never patented.

1880 Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged at
the Melbourne jail at age 25. 

1887 Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being
convicted of being connected to a bombing that killed eight
police officers. 

1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany
signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's Day
in the United States. 

1918 Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of
Germany. 

1920 The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in
Westminster Abbey. The service was recorded with the first
electronic recording process developed by Lionel Guest and H.O.
Merriman. 

1921 The Tomb of the Unknowns was dedicated at Arlington Cemetery
in Virginia by U.S. President Harding. 

1938 Kate Smith first sang Irving Berlin's "God Bless America" on
network radio. 

1940 The Jeep made its debut. 

1942 During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of
France. 

1952 The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin and
Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA. 

1965 The government of Rhodesia declared its independence from
Britain. The country later became known as Zimbabwe. 

1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The craft
circled the Earth 59 times before returning. 

1972 The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the South
Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct
involvement in the Vietnam War by the U.S. military. 

1975 Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from
Portugal. 

1981 Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100-story
John Hancock Center in Chicago in about six hours. 

1981 The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat
Division in Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class submarine.


1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial Fund. 

1984 Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney
transplant in Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age 5. 

1986 Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys," becoming
the second largest computer company. 

1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record 53.9
million dollars in New York. 

1988 Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven bodies
buried on the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea Puente was
later charged in the deaths of nine people, convicted of three
murders and sentenced to life in prison. 

1991 The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16
years to help the nation arrange democratic elections. 

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a
letter that Americans had been held in prison camps after World
War II. Some were "summarily executed," but others were still
living in his country voluntarily. 

1992 The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests. 

1993 Walt Disney Co. announced plans to build a U.S. history
theme park in a Virginia suburb of Washington. The plan was
halted later due to local opposition. 

1993 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was
dedicated to honor the more than 11,000 women who had served in
the Vietnam War. 

1994 In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an
Israeli military checkpoint killing three soldiers. 

1996 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall That
Heals." The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial that would tour communities throughout the United
States. 

1997 The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were laying
off 10,000 employees. 

1998 Jay Cochrane set a record for the longest blindfolded
skywalk. He walked on a tightrope between the towers of the
Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas, NV. The towers are 600 feet apart. 

1998 Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement with
the Palestinians. 

2002 Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates pledged $100 million to fight
AIDS in India. 

2018  smiled.


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How to remove AdAware 




Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, November 10

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Man arrested for raping 4-year-old, 
Infecting her with Gonorrhea

______________________________________________________
Today, November 10 in
1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David
Livingstone. Livingstone was a missing Scottish missionary 
in central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: 
"Dr. Livingstone, I presume?" 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
You can discover what your enemy fears most by observing the means he uses to frighten you. --- Eric Hoffer (1902 - 1983) "There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers." --- William James ______________________________________________________ John came from San Francisco to Depoe Bay and asked a native, "Say, is this really a healthy place?" "It sure is," the native replied. "When I came here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room, and I had to be lifted out of bed." "That's wonderful!" said John. "How long have you been here?" "I was born here." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ I urgently needed a few days off work but I knew the boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'crazy', then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My secretaryt asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, so the Boss might think I was 'crazy' and give me a few days off. A few minutes later, the boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of Sam Hill are you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb. He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.' I jumped down and walked out of the office... When my secretary followed me, the boss asked her, 'And where do you think you're going?!' To which she replied: 'I'm going home too. I can't work in the dark.' ------------ I need a boss like that! _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ "Your Honor, my wife is just being ridiculous. Most women would love to have a husband who still believes in chivalry and I was only opening the door for her out of chivalry." "Mr. Smith," replied the judge, "I am granting the divorce. I cannot believe chivalry was your motivation while driving 65 mph." ______________________________________________________ Tag Team _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Arturo Macarro Gutierrez, 35, St Paul, Minnesota Man arrested for raping 4-year-old, Infecting her with Gonorrhea A Minnesota man is accused of raping his girlfriend’s four-year- old daughter, who tested positive for gonorrhea. Authorities charged Arturo Macarro Gutierrez, 35, with first and second-degree criminal sexual conduct for allegedly sexually assaulting the four-year-old victim at a house in St. Paul on October 28. The four-year-old’s grandmother reported the incident last Wednesday after her granddaughter said Gutierrez pulled down her pants and hurt her. The four-year-old called Gutierrez “daddy,” but the grandmother told authorities he was dating the girl’s mother. The child’s aunt told the grandmother Gutierrez had been making “humping” motions in the bedroom. The victim went to a local hospital, where tests determined she had contracted gonorrhea. A SWAT team executing a search warrant on the residence discovered Gutierrez hiding in the attic. Authorities accused him of sexually assaulting the girl after he also tested positive for gonorrhea. Gutierrez denied hurting the girl, according to a criminal complaint. The 35-year-old has a rap sheet that includes domestic violence charges. Gutierrez made his first court appearance for the sexual assault charges Monday and is due back in court on November 20. From: Tam Re: Removing AdAware Dear Webby Hi and as always thanks for the daily humor. I think I asked you this before, but I need help.. again!! I got McAfee virus protection and it will not let me install it 100% because I have AdAware and can not get to my add/remove program to uninstall it. PLEASE let me know if there is a way I can uninstall that. And any solutions as to why I can not get to add/remove? thanks and have a good day Tam Dear Tam AdAware has been around for ages, and the ad companies have tried all that time to defeat it or to get around it. So they have continuously made it stronger and tougher to defeat. A lot of people have problems with removing AdAware. That is one of the reasons I don't recommend them. Half an hour on Google found this: 1. Click "uninstall Ad-Aware" in the lavasoft folder of your start menu 2. If it does not work, open your control panel, click add/remove programs and locate Ad-Aware SE 3. If it still does not work, locate and run (double-click) the file "unwise.exe" (the .exe might not be shown). It should be found in C:\program files\lavasoft\Ad-Aware SE [Personal/Plus/Professional]\ If that does not work, or if you get a message saying something like "Can't find Install.log," perform a manual uninstall. Do the following: 1. Click on "my computer" and navigate to your Lavasoft Ad-Aware folder (C:\program files\lavasoft\ad-aware \ 2. Run the file unregaaw.exe 3. Delete the entire ad-aware folder 4. Delete your Lavasoft Ad-Aware link in your start menu (if present) 5. Delete the Ad-Aware icon(s) from your desktop(if present) 6. Navigate to C:\Documents and Settings\[User Name]\Application Data\Lavasoft and delete the entire Lavasoft folder. 7. Empty your trash bin 8. Reboot. If you have already deleted unregaaw.exe, try to get it from Lavasoft in Sweden. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
"Pastor," Johnny says, "I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust." "That's right, Johnny, I did." "And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust." "Yes, I'm glad you were listening. Why do you ask?" "Well you better come over to our house right away and look under my bed, 'cause there's someone either comin' or goin'!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Nina: Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?? Rosey: Yes, I did, once. He had forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Wrap Gifts Before They Are Found Wrap gifts before you hide them. That way if someone does look for them or accidentally stumble across them, the contents will still be concealed. I try to wrap gifts the day that I buy them. This saves time as Christmas approaches too. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Shirk Report
___________________________________________________ A young and foolish hot-shot pilot wanted to sound cool and show who was boss on the aviation radio frequencies. So, this was his first time approaching an airfield during the nighttime. Instead of making any official landing requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?" The tower controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Myrna When my daughter was about 10 years old I became pregnant. Of course, she wanted to know how it happened,so I gave what I considered an appropriate explanation of the process. She asked, "Did you do that and I happened?" I said yes, and she responded, "And in spite of that, you did it again?"

Today November 10 in
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the
Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after the
end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine Corps
were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day is
observed as the birth date of the United States Marine Corps. 

1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of
dueling. 

1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David
Livingstone. Livingstone was a missing Scottish missionary in
central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: "Dr.
Livingstone, I presume?" 

1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White House. 

1919 The American Legion held its first national convention in
Minneapolis, MN. 

1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan. 

1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began when
Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his counterpart
in Alameda, CA. 

1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA. 

1957 102,368 people attended the San Francisco 49ers and Los
Angeles Rams game. The crowd was the largest regular-season crowd
in NFL history. 

1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism. 

1975 The U.N. General Assembly approved a resolution that equated
Zionism with racism. The resolution was repealed in December of
1991. 

1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its crew of
29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior. 

1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been kidnapped in
a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused to pay the cab fare.


1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack at
age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov. 

1982 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial was opened
to visitors. 

1986 Camille Sontag and Marcel Coudari, two Frenchmen were
released by the captors that held them in Lebanon. 

1988 The U.S. Department of Energy announced that Texas would be
the home of the atom-smashing super-collider. The project was
cancelled by a vote of the U.S. Congress in Oct. 1993. 

1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of marital
sexual assault against his wife who sexually mutilated him.
Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of malicious wounding her
husband. 

1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady Bill,
which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun purchases.


1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop enforcing
the arms embargo against the Bosnian government the following
week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to lifting the ban. 

1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the action
would end trade sanctions. 

1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro-Wiwa
along with several other anti-government activists. 

1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after a
massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The disaster
left 24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead. 

1997 WorldCom Inc. acquired MCI Communication Corporation. It was
the largest merger in U.S. history valued at $37 billion. 

1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the murder of
two CIA employees in 1993. 

1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's murder
conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English au pair to
time served. She had served 279 days in the death of 8-month-old
Matthew Eappen. 

2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's membership. 

2018  smiled.


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Letter not showing 




Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, November 9
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Feds charge serial bank robbery suspect 
in Madison Heights, other robberies

______________________________________________________
Today, November 9 in
1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a 
patent on neon advertising signs.
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. --- Doug Larson ______________________________________________________ As a young married couple, a husband and a wife lived in a cheap housing complex near the base where he was working. Their chief complaint was that the walls were paper-thin and that they had no privacy. This was painfully obvious when one morning the husband was upstairs and the wife was downstairs on the telephone. She was interrupted by the doorbell and went to greet her neighbor. "Give this to your husband," he said thrusting a roll of toilet paper into her hands. "He's been yelling for it for 15 minutes!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver who needed a tow. He was stranded on a busy highway, but he didn't know the make of the car he was driving. I asked again for a more detailed description beyond a "blue, four-door sedan." "It's the one on fire," he replied. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Kathy "My ten year old daughter asked me what a colon was and I explained that it was a part of the body that food goes through before being eliminated. Then she asked me what a semicolon was and I told her that it was a colon the size of a truck with eighteen wheels." ______________________________________________________ Revenge will be in your shoes! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dajanae Jordan, 23. Grosse Pointe Park, Madison Heights, Michigan Feds charge serial bank robbery suspect in Madison Heights, other robberies A woman accused in a string of bank robberies in Madison Heights and other cities has been named and arraigned in federal court. Police said Dajanae Jordan, 23, of Grosse Pointe Park was charged on bank robbery and attempted bank robbery counts Friday in U.S. District Court in Detroit. We're not charging her locally, said Madison Heights Detective Sgt. Brent LeMerise. The case has been turned over to the feds. Jordan faced a detention hearing Monday afternoon in federal court where her bail will be set. The robberies and attempted robberies first started a couple of weeks ago in Macomb County when authorities said Jordan unsuccessfully tried to rob a Chase Bank in Warren. Jordan used notes that she handed to tellers at all the banks where the robberies and attempted robberies were done, according to police in Oakland and Macomb counties. Other banks included in the string of robberies included an unsuccessful attempt at Vibe Credit Union in Sterling Heights. But police said she was successful in robberies at a Comerica Bank in Macomb Township, a Flagstar Bank on Big Beaver in Troy and a Chase Bank in Madison Heights. The Chase Bank in Madison Heights is located in the Hollywood Market on Campbell Road near 12 Mile and was robbed Oct. 25. Madison Heights police said she handed a male teller a note and threatened to shoot him if he didn't hurry up and she got away with $2,500. Multiple police departments and the FBI were part of the ongoing investigation of the robberies and attempted robberies. They hadn't identified a suspect until police said Jordan returned to the bank in Madison Heights and unsuccessfully tried to rob it again on Halloween. Residents called police and reported a woman matching the suspect's description was running through their yards in a neighborhood near the bank. One of them also saw a car matching the description of a silver car used in the earlier bank robbery. Police said a man in a burgundy Jeep picked up the suspect. Hazel Park police spotted the Jeep heading south on Interstate 75 near Eight Mile Road and finally stopped the vehicle in Detroit. The man driving the Jeep has not been charged and reportedly told police he didn't know Jordan had robbed a bank when he picked her up. From: Joan-Mary Re: Letter not showing Dear Webby The Humor Letter is came through as a blank and only when I hit reply to advise this, did I get to see the column. Respectfully, Joan-Mary Dear Joan-Mary It did arrive and download OK, otherwise hitting Reply later would not have made a difference, and it showed OK for all other subscribers. Check the settings in your email program. If you tell me which email program you use, I can investigate further. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
From a passenger ship one can just barely see a bearded man on a small island in the distance who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. "Who is that?" a passenger asked a passing steward. "I've no idea. Every year when we pass by, he goes nuts."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A rancher goes to the bank to borrow money to buy a bull so he can increase his stock. The transaction is made and the banker who lent the money comes by a week later to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won't even look at the cows. The banker suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull. The next week the banker returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer looks very pleased: "The bull has taken care of all my cows, broke through the fence, and has even serviced all my neighbor's cows!" "Wow," says the banker, "what did the vet do to that bull?" "Just gave him some pills," replied the farmer. "What kind of pills?" asked the banker. "I don't know, but they sort of taste like peppermint." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Breaking Up a Dog Fight The best way to break up a dog fight is to throw water on the dogs. This will usually startle the dogs enough to stop the fighting. Breaking up a dog fight with your hands can be very dangerous as you are liable to get bit or scratched. In winter, when thawed out water may be hard to come by, gonging them with an empty plastic 5 gallon pail usually gets their attention, especially if it is the same pail that you use to feed them. It may look cruel, but is a lot better than letting them kill or injure each other. DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
15 secretive places you can now see on Google Earth.
___________________________________________________ >From Merlin All my relatives know that I refold the wrapping paper from my Christmas presents for reuse later. "Auntie," asked one of my young nieces, "why do you save all that paper?" "I'm doing what's best for the environment," I replied. "So I'm recycling." "Good thing you didn't ask that question five years ago," my daughter interrupted. "Then she was just plain cheap." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Seen on a bumper sticker: A Lesbian is a mannish depressive with delusions of gender.

Today November 9 in
1857 The "Atlantic Monthly" first appeared on newsstands and
featured the first installment of "The Autocrat of the Breakfast
Table" by Oliver Wendell Holmes. 

1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA. 

1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see the
progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip by a
U.S. president. 

1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent on neon
advertising signs. 

1918 Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II announced he would abdicate. He
then fled to the Netherlands. 

1923 In Munich, the Beer Hall Putsch was crushed by German troops
that were loyal to the democratic government. The event began the
evening before when Adolf Hitler took control of a beer hall full
of Bavarian government leaders at gunpoint. 

1935 United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis and other labor
leaders formed the Committee for Industrial Organization. 

1938 Nazi troops and sympathizers destroyed and looted 7,500
Jewish businesses, burned 267 synagogues, killed 91 Jews, and
rounded up over 25,000 Jewish men in an event that became known
as Kristallnacht or "Night of Broken Glass." 

1953 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld a 1922 ruling that major
league baseball did not come within the scope of federal
antitrust laws. 

1961 Major Robert White flew an X-15 rocket plane at a world
record speed of 4,093 mph. 

1961 The Professional Golfer's Association (PGA) eliminated its
"caucasians only" rule. 

1963 In Japan, about 450 miners were killed in a coal-dust
explosion. 

1963 In Japan, 160 people died in a train crash. 

1965 The great Northeast blackout occurred as several states and
parts of Canada were hit by a series of power failures lasting up
to 13 1/2 hours. 

1967 A Saturn V rocket carrying an unmanned Apollo spacecraft
blasted off from Cape Kennedy on a successful test flight. 

1976 The U.N. General Assembly approved ten resolutions
condemning the apartheid government in South Africa. 

1979 The United Nations Security Council unanimously called upon
Iran to release all American hostages "without delay." Militants,
mostly students had taken 63 Americans hostage at the U.S.
embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4.

1981 U.S. troops began arriving in Egypt for a three-week Rapid
Deployment Force excercise. Somalia, Sudan and Oman were also
involved in the operation. 

1981 The Internation Monetary Fund approved a $5.8 billion loan
to India. It was the highest loan to date. 

1982 Sugar Ray Leonard retired from boxing. In 1984 Leonard came
out of retirement to fight one more time before becoming a boxing
commentator for NBC. 

1984 A bronze statue titled "Three Servicemen," by Frederick
Hart, was unveiled at the site of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial
in Washington, DC. 

1989 Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing its
citizens to travel freely to West Germany. 

1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a non-
aggression treaty with Germany. 

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin, visiting London, appealed
for assistance in rescheduling his country's debt, and asked
British businesses to invest. 

1998 A federal judge in New York approved the richest antitrust
settlement in U.S. history. A leading brokerage firm was ordered
to pay $1.03 billion to investors who had sued over price-rigging
of Nasdaq stocks. 

2004 U.S. First Lady Laura Bush officially reopened Pennsylvania
Avenue in front of the White House to pedestrians.

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How to stop Chrome from crashing 




Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, November 8

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

To avoid death penalty, man admits 
killing pregnant wife and two daughters 

______________________________________________________
Today, November 8 in
1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity
discovered the scientific principle involved and took the first
X-ray pictures. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right. --- Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860) ______________________________________________________ The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, , tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," replies, "I don't have to. My Mom is a pretty good cook." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Jewish Chronicle had heard that Benny was coming up to his 110th birthday so they sent one of their reporters to interview him. "How do you account for your longevity?" asked the reporter. "You could say that I am a health nut," Benny answered. "I have never smoked or drunk alcohol, I am always in bed by ten o'clock, I've been going to Israeli folk dance classes since I was a teenager and I've always walked three miles a day, even in rain or snow." "But," said the reporter, "my uncle Saul followed exactly the same routine and he died when he was 75. So how come it didn't work for him?" "All I can say," replied Benny "is that he didn't keep it up long enough." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!' It worked." ______________________________________________________ She does not like Celine sounding like a cat in the washing machine. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Chris Watts, 33, Greeley, Colorado To avoid death penalty, man admits killing pregnant wife and two daughters Chris Watts, 33, had claimed he saw his wife murdering Bella, 4, and Celeste, 3, on a baby monitor, then went into a rage and strangled his wife Shannan, who was 15 weeks pregnant. He pleaded guilty today under a plea deal allowing him to avoid the death penalty but putting him in jail for life without a chance of parole. After he killed his family, Watts hid the bodies of his daughters in an oil tank where he worked to hide the smell of their decaying bodies, and buried his wife in a shallow grave. One of Shannan’s friends became concerned about her whereabouts after not hearing from her for several days after August 13 and contacted police. Watts was arrested on August 16 – after making a TV appeal for information about the whereabouts of his missing family. He said their disappearance had left him ‘torn up inside’ and appealed for ‘everybody to just come home.’ Shanann Watts’ family members ‘were very strongly in favor of a resolution in this case short of the death penalty,’ Weld County District Attorney Michael Rourke said. He recalled her mother, Sandra, saying Christopher Watts ‘made the choice’ to take the lives of his family members. ‘I do not want to be in the position of making the choice to take his,’ Rourke said, quoting Sandra. ‘That’s about as firmly as she could have said it to me.’ Watts’ voice was shaking, and he could occasionally be heard sniffing after each time he said ‘guilty.’ The agreement also required Watts to plead guilty to unlawful termination of Shanann Watts’ pregnancy, a felony in Colorado. Family members have said she planned to name the boy Nico. The deal also ensures that Watts, who is 33, will consecutively serve each sentence for that charge and the murders of his wife and daughters. Rourke said Tuesday that investigators never believed that Watts was being entirely truthful. ‘The spotlight that he tried to shine on Shanann – falsely, incorrectly and frankly a flat-out lie – has been corrected,’ Rourke said. ‘The spotlight shines directly where it belongs: On him.’ From: DW Re: Chrome crashing Dear Webby My Chrome browser keeps crashing, locking up, playing stoopid. How can I fix that? DW Dear DW, You probably use the "Honey" extension, that checks net wide for better deals. That works great, when you are on legitimate shopping sites, however, if you are on hysterically fanatic liberal sites like FaceBook or MSN, their censoring and excessive ads get into a pissing contest with Chrome, and Chrome loses. Just disable "Honey" and everything will work fine. Just enable it when you are actually shopping. It will usually save you 5 - 25% of the price. So far they have never sent me to a bad site, You don'y have to remove "Honey". Just disable it until you actually need it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Here is a list of some of the dumbest questions asked by tourists at Alberta's Banff National Park. Yes, they are all allegedly true, as heard at the information kiosks manned by Parks Canada staff. [with my comment in brackets] 1. How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing" signs? [They just do] 2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose? [6 feet] 3. Tourist: "How do you pronounce 'Elk'?" Park information staff: "Elk." Tourist: "Oh." [Actually it is pronounced "Elk!] 4. Are the bears with collars tame? [Yes...take one home they make lovely pets!] 5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose? [Just before they eat you!] 6. Is it okay to keep an open bag of bacon on the picnic table, or should I store it in my tent? [Your sleeping bag or underwear is a much better place for it!] 7. Where can I find Alpine Flamingoes? [Just to the left there... see them?] 8. I saw an animal on the way to Banff today. Could you tell me what it was? [Yes] 9. Are there birds in Canada? [Are there brains in your head?] 10. Did I miss the turnoff for Canada? [Hopefully!] 11. Where does Alberta end and Canada begin? [Right there!] 12. Do you have a map of the State of Jasper? [You are with a travel group right? I would hate for you to get lost in our fine country!] 13. Is this the part of Canada that speaks French, or is that Saskatchewan? [no that would be Quebec!] 14. If I go to BC, do I have to go through Ontario? [Only if you are on a round-the-world tour!] 15. Which is the way to the Columbia Rice Fields? [Try China!] 16. How far is Banff from Canada? [Very far!] 17. What's the best way to see Canada in a day? [Space Shuttle!] 18. Do they search you at the BC border? [If you ask them nicely!] 19. When we enter BC, do we have to convert our money to British pounds? [They are using the Yen now!] 20. Where can I buy a raccoon hat? All Canadians own one, don't they? [Sure do...and we all own red "mountie" suits too!] 21. Are there phones in Banff? [No...it is Canada's only official phone-free location!] 22. So it's eight kilometres away. Is that in miles? [no..in fathoms!] 23. We're on the decibel system you know. [Really...so convert a 69 for me!] 24. Where can I get my husband really, REALLY, lost? [Spread your legs!] 25. Is that two kilometres by foot or by car? [Yes!] 26. Don't you Canadians know anything? [Oh boy...watch out for that tree!] 27. Where do you put the animals at night? [In your car!] 28. Tourist: "How do you get your lakes so blue?" Park staff: "We take the water out in the winter and paint the bottom." Tourist: "Oh." [And we paint the trees green too!] And then there is the mating call of the bluehaired Winnebegans: "An juss haw much es that en reel mohney?" [Just double it and round it down. That's close enough.]
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet. She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen anything like it before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why are you so well-behaved and quiet?" Finally, after much urging, a little girl said, "Well, one time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you would drop dead!!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Grow a Natural Christmas Tree Consider a potted tree instead of a cut one. It will save you money every year and it will grow with you and your family. Keep an eye on your tree's health while it is inside. It should only be inside for 10 to 14 days. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Amazing ‘Needle Painting’ of Vera Shimunia
___________________________________________________ There was a large revival meeting on the outskirts of town, and at the appropriate corner there was a large sign proclaiming...."If you are weary of sin and want to be saved, turn here, go 100 yards, and come into the revival tent." Below the sign someone had hung another smaller one...."If NOT weary, call Sherry 555-3550." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue... and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go? ------------- your hips!

Today November 8 in
1793 The Louvre Museum, in Paris, opened to the public for the
first time. 

1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The
expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. The
journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of exploring the
Louisiana Purchase territory. 

1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity
discovered the scientific principle involved and took the first
X-ray pictures. 

1910 William H. Frost patented the insect exterminator. 

1923 Adolf Hitler made his first attempt at seizing power in
Germany with a failed coup in Munich that came to be known as the
"Beer-Hall Putsch." 

1933 The Civil Works Administration was created by executive
order by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The organization
was designed to create jobs for more than 4 million unemployed
people in the U.S. 

1942 The U.S. invaded Morocco and Algeria. 

1942 During World War II, Operation Torch began as U.S. and
British forces landed in French North Africa. 

1950 During the Korean conflict, the first jet-plane battle took
place as U.S. Air Force Lt. Russell J. Brown shot down a North
Korean MiG-15. 

1956 After turning down 18,000 names, the Ford Motor Company
decided to name their new car the "Edsel," after Henry Ford's
only son. 

1966 Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California. 

1979 The program, "The Iran Crisis: America Held Hostage",
premiered on ABC-TV. The show was planned to be temporary, but it
evolved into "Nightline" in March of 1980. 

1980 Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California
announced that they had discovered a 15th moon orbiting the
planet Saturn. 

1981 Egyptian President Hosni Mubarek asserted that Egypt was "an
African State" that was "neither East nor West".

1985 A letter signed by four American hostages in Lebanon was
delivered to The Associated Press in Beirut. The letter,
contained pleas from Terry Anderson, Rev. Lawrence Jenco, David
Jacobsen and Thomas Sutherland to President Reagan to negotiate a
release. 

1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered more troop
deployments in the Persian Gulf, adding about 150,000 soldiers to
the multi-national force fighting against Iraq. 

1991 The European Community and Canada imposed economic sanctions
on Yugoslavia in an attempt to stop the Balkan civil war. 

1992 About 350,000 people rallied in Berlin against racist
violence. 

1993 Five Picasso paintings and other artwork were stolen from
the Museum of Modern Art in Stockholm, Sweden. The works were
valued at $52 million. 

1997 Chinese engineers diverted the Yangtze River to make way for
the Three Gorges Dam. 

2000 In Florida, a statewide recount began to decide the winner
of the 2000 U.S. presidential election. 

2000 Waco special counsel John C. Danforth released his final
report that absolved the government of wrongdoing in the 1993
siege of the Branch Davidian compound in Texas. 

2018  smiled.


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CAT5 vs CAT6 





Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, November 7

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Woman, 24, arrested for meth, child neglect
after leaving kids and dope in hot car

______________________________________________________
Today, November 7 in
1837 - In Alton, IL, abolitionist printer Elijah P. Lovejoy was
shot to death by a mob of Democrats (supporters of slavery) while
trying to protect his printing shop from a third destruction. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people. --- Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930) Where facts are few, experts are many. --- Donald R. Gannon ______________________________________________________ The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern. "Paddy," he said, " I'm afraid I'll not be seeing you in Heaven one day." "Really, Father?" slurred Paddy. "What have you done now?" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced, "A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000." There was a moment's silence, and then from the back of the room came the cry, "Two thousand five hundred!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Bubba goes to the revival and listens to the preacher. After a while, the preacher asks anyone with needs to come forward and be prayed over. Bubba gets in line. When it's his turn the preacher says, "Bubba, what you want me to pray about?" Bubba says, "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing." So the preacher puts one finger in Bubba's ear and the other hand on top of his head and prays a while. After a few minutes, he removes his hands and says, "Bubba, how's your hearing now?" Bubba says, "I don't know preacher, it's not until next Wednesday in Dallas. ______________________________________________________ Stealing the duster is tricky! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicole Buffington, 24, Pasco Floriduh Woman, 24, arrested for meth, child neglect after leaving kids and dope in hot car Nicole Buffington was arrested Tuesday after allegedly leaving her two small children alone in a hot car that had a bag of methamphetamine on the front seat while she shopped at a Dollar Tree store. Investigators allege that Nicole Buffington, 24, left the minors in the vehicle for nearly 30 minutes. Police responding to a 911 call found the children--a seven-year-old boy and a one-year-old girl--Tuesday afternoon. Cops also discovered a bag containing a crystalline substance “on top of clutter on the driver’s seat.” A field test revealed that the substance contained methamphetamine. Buffington, seen above, was subsequently contacted inside a nearby Dollar Tree store and arrested on child neglect and narcotics possession charges. She was booked into the Pasco County jail, where she remains locked up on $10,000 bond. According to her Facebook page, Buffington works at McDonald’s. A police report, however, lists her as unemployed. Buffington’s rap sheet includes multiple arrests for narcotics possession and possession of drug paraphernalia, as well as collars for theft and failure to appear in court. From: Isobel Re: CAT5 or CAT6 Dear Webby Is there any real performance difference between CAT5 and CAT6 cable in a home office? is there any difference in the way it is installed? Thanks Isobel Dear Isobel CAT6 MAY show a slight performance gain on long runs of over 200 feet, especially in electrically noisy environments. I doubt that you will be able to measure a speed difference in a home office. CAT6 cable uses the same 8P8C (RJ45) connector as CAT5, but requires a lot more cussing to get it into the connector. If you do use CAT6 cable, do yourself a favor and buy it in suitable pieces, with the connectors factory molded onto the ends. CAT5 cable is fairly easy to stuff into 8P8C (RJ45) connectors and the crimper is cheap. In a quiet home office you can usually get away with using cheap "Station Z" alarm cable and get just as good results as CAT6. However, if your provider has problems with supplying a connection at the speed that you pay for, they will blame the problem on your cable. Switching at that time to CAT6 won't make any difference to your connection speed, but they will have to come up with a different excuse. Nowadays, quite often wireless (WiFi) is faster. For cable, the speeds are limited to what had been agreed upon years ago, but wireless gets faster all the time. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years on a deserted island. Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward him. When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle of newspapers and told him, "With the captain's compliments. He said to read through these and let us know if you still want to be rescued."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. "Is that your grandmother?" I asked. "Yes," Chris said. "She's come to visit us for Thanksgiving." "How nice," I said. "Where does she live?" "At the airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her we just go out there and get her." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Returning Groceries Return items to the grocery store that are bad or spoil quickly, even if you used some of it. For example, if you buy a big block of cheese and gets moldy after a day or two in the fridge, it probably was not packaged properly. Just be sure to keep your grocery receipts handy. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Pets enjoying Autumn
___________________________________________________ After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up." "That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon." How do you know what to say?" he asked. "God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

Today November 7 in
1637 - Anne Hutchinson, the first female religious leader in the
American colonies, was banished from the Massatwoshits Bay Colony
for heresy. 

1665 - "The London Gazette" was first published. 

1811 - The Shawnee Indians of chief Tecumseh were defeated by
William Henry Harrison at the Battle of Wabash (or (Tippecanoe). 

1837 - In Alton, IL, abolitionist printer Elijah P. Lovejoy was
shot to death by a mob of Democrats (supporters of slavery) while
trying to protect his printing shop from a third destruction. 

1874 - The Republican party of the U.S. was first symbolized as
an elephant in a cartoon by Thomas Nast in Harper's Weekly. 

1876 - The cigarette manufacturing machine was patented by Albert
H. Hook. 

1893 - The state of Colorado granted its women the right to vote.


1895 - The last spike was driven into Canada's first
transcontinental railway in the mountains of British Columbia. 

1917 - Russia's Bolshevik Revolution took place. The provisional
government of Alexander Kerensky was overthrown by forces led by
Vladimir Ilyich Lenin. 

1918 - During World War I, a false report through the United
Press announced that an armistice had been signed. 

1932 - "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century" was broadcast for the
first yime on CBS Radio. 

1933 - Voters in Pennsylvania eliminated sports from
Pennsylvanian "Blue Laws." 

1940 - The middle section of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in
Washington state collapsed during a windstorm. The suspension
bridge had opened to traffic on July 1, 1940. 

1944 - U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first
person to win a fourth term as president. 

1965 - The "Pillsbury Dough Boy" debuted in television
commercials. 

1967 - The U.S. Selective Service Commission announced that
college students arrested in anti-war demonstrations would lose
their draft deferments. 

1973 - The U.S. Congress over-rode President Nixon's veto of the
War Powers Act, which limits a chief executive's power to wage
war without congressional approval. 

1983 - A bomb exploded in the U.S. Capitol. No one was injured. 

1985 - The Colombian army stormed the country's Palace of
Justice. The siege claimed the lives of 100 people, including 11
Supreme Court Justices. The Palace had been seized by leftist
guerrillas belonging to the April 19 Movement. 

1987 - Tunisia's president Habib Bourguiba was overthrown. He had
been president since the country's independence in 1956. 

1989 - Richard Ramirez, convicted of California's "Night Stalker"
killings, was sentenced to death. 

1991 - Pro- and anti-Communists rallies took place in Moscow on
the 74th anniversary of the Bolshevik Revolution. 

1995 - In a Japanese courtroom, three U.S. military men admitted
to the rape of a 12-year-old Okinawan schoolgirl. 

1999 - Tiger Woods became the first golfer since Ben Hogan in
1953 to win four straight tournaments. 

2000 - Hillary Rodham Clinton made history as the first
president's wife to win public office. The state of New York
elected her to the U.S. Senate after a Liberal senator retired to
let her have his seat.

2001 - After a 16-month stoppage the Concorde resumed flying
commercially.

2018  smiled.


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Is Microsoft net Framework safe? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, November 6

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Illegal Immigrant protected by Oregon's Sanctuary
law from ICE Now Charged with  Brutal Murder

______________________________________________________
Today, November 6 in
1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) Every teenager should get a high school education. Even if they already know everything. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ Is it proper for a man to profit from the mistakes of another?" a Angus mcKenzie asked his minister. "Definitely not," was the preacher's answer. "Are you absolutely certain?" "Yes, my son, absolutely." "Okay. In that case, I wonder if you'd mind returning that $25 I gave you after my wedding last year?" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Q: Is it good manners to eat fried chicken with your fingers? A: No, you should eat your fingers separately. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked if it was dead or alive. "Dead," she was informed. "How do you know?", she asked. "Because I pissed in his ear and it didn't move," said the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!?", the teacher squealed in surprise. "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and said 'pssst' and he didn't move." ______________________________________________________ Vicious polar bear attack _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Martin Gallo-Gallardo, 45, Oregon Illegal Immigrant protected by Oregon's Sanctuary law from ICE Now Charged with Brutal Murder Actually, the Bonehead award should go to Oregon. An illegal alien from Mexico accused of stabbing his wife to death on Sunday was released from an Oregon county jail seven months ago despite federal immigration authorities’ request to deport him, immigration officials said. A woman might be alive today if the Oregon authorities had not decided to allow a known illegal immigrant go free. Martin Gallo-Gallardo, 45, is facing murder charges in connection with the death of Coral Rodriguez-Lorenzo, 38, after authorities discovered her body in a ditch near a river east of Portland on October 28. In March, the Multnomah County Sheriff’s office released 45-year- old Martin Gallo-Gallardo after the prosecutor’s office dismissed assault charges against him. Fox 12 Oregon reported a grand jury could not “hold him accountable” without the cooperation of the victim, his wife. Fox News reported: “Officials from Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) said the federal agency placed a civil detainer hold on Gallo-Gallardo while he was in custody in Portland so it could begin deportation proceedings. The agency said the sheriff’s department didn’t honor the request because of the state’s sanctuary laws.” On October 29, Gallo-Gallardo was was arrested for questioning in the death of his wife Coral Rodriguiez-Lorenzo and it was at that time he confessed to murdering her. Clackamas County officials found her body the previous day, which had been repeatedly stabbed according to The Daily Caller. As with most major ideological conflicts finger pointing and the blame game ensues. Multnomah County Sheriff Mike Reese who supports Oregon’s sanctuary laws said his office never received a detainer request due a technology malfunction in fax transmission. “Gallo-Gallardo drove his wife to nearby Clackamas County after an argument and stabbed her multiple times. He pleaded not guilty to the crime Tuesday,” according to Fox News. Hopefully after Tuesday justice for all will mean cold blooded murders like this will be avoidable in Oregon’s future. From: Susan Re: Is MS NET Framework safe ? Dear Webby. Good Morning, I received an Update from microsoft this morning and I wanted your opinion whether it is one I need to download. Thanks much for your help. Susan Microsoft, NET Framework 10.2 MB Cannot be removed after installation. Dear Susan NET Framework is OK. Many programs use and need it. The only one to guard against is IE Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
What's the difference between a trampoline and an accordion? You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Q: This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten? A: What was your question? ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Ecological Holiday Parties A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake" Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Most Interesting Science News Articles of the Week
___________________________________________________ "Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir." "The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her." "During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit." "The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's 'Hamlet' in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Before Linda became engaged, she was quite the beauty, and didn't mind letting her boyfriend know it, too: "A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry." she told him. "Really?" asked the boyfriend, "And just how many men are you planning to marry?"

Today November 6 in
1789 Father John Carroll was appointed as the first Roman
Catholic bishop in the United States of America. 

1832 Joseph Smith, III, was born. He was the first president of
the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He
was also the son of Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism. 

1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected to be the sixteenth president of
the United States. 

1861 Jefferson Davis was elected as the president of the
Confederacy in the U.S. 

1869 The first official intercollegiate football game was played
in New Brunswick, NJ. 

1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap. 

1903 Philippe Bunau-Varilla, as Panama's ambassador to the United
States, signed the Hay-Bunau-Varilla Treaty. The document granted
rights to the United States to build and indefinitely administer
the Panama Canal Zone and its defenses. 

1913 Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested as he led a march of Indian
miners in South Africa. 

1917 During World War I, Candian forces take the village of
Passchendaele, Belgium, in the Third Battle of Ypres. 

1923 Jacob Schick was granted a patent for the electric shaver. 

1935 Edwin H. Armstrong announced his development of FM
broadcasting. 

1952 The first hydrogen bomb was exploded at Eniwetok Atoll in
the Pacific Ocean. 

1961 In the Saraha Desert of Algeria, a natural gas well ignited
when a pipe ruptured. The flames rose between 450 feet and 800
feet. The fire burned until April 28, 1962 when a team led by Red
Adair used explosives to deprive the fire of oxygen.

1962 The U.N. General Assembly adopts a resolution that condemned
South Africa's racist apartheid policies. The resolution also
called for all member states to terminate military and economic
relations with South Africa. 

1965 The Freedom Flights program began which would allow 250,000
Cubans to come to the United States by 1971. 

1967 Phil Donahue began a TV talk show in Dayton, OH. The show
was on the air for 29 years. 

1973 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft began photographing Jupiter. 

1975 King Hassan II of Morocco launches the Green March, a mass
migration of 300,000 unarmed Moroccans, that march into the
nation of Western Sahara. 

1977 39 people were killed when an earthen dam burst, sending a
wall of water through the campus of Toccoa Falls Bible College in
Georgia. 

1983 U.S. Army choppers dropped hundreds of leaflets over
northern and central Grenada. The leaflets urged residents to
cooperate in locating any Grenadian army or Cuban resisters to
the U.S-led invasion. 

1984 For the first time in 193 years, the New York Stock Exchange
remained open during a presidential election day.

1985 Leftist guerrillas belonging to Columbia's April 19 Movement
seized control of the Palace of Justice in Bogota. 

1986 Former Navy radioman John A. Walker Jr., was sentenced in
Baltimore to life imprisonment. Walker had admitted to being the
head of a family spy ring. 

1986 U.S. intelligence sources confirmed a story run by the
Lebanese magazine Ash Shiraa that reported the U.S. had been
secretly selling arms to Iran in an effort to secure the release
of seven American hostages. 

1989 In the hopes of freeing U.S. hostages held in Iran, the U.S.
announced that it would unfreeze $567 million in Iranian assets
that had been held since 1979. 

1990 About 20% of the Universal Studios backlot in southern
California was destroyed in an arson fire. 

1991 Kuwait celebrated the dousing of the last of the oil fires
ignited by Iraq during the Persian Gulf War. 

1995 Art Modell, the owner of the Cleveland Browns, announced
plans to move his team to Baltimore. (Maryland) 

1995 Mark Messier scored his 500th NHL goal. 

1998 The Islamic militant group Hamas exploded a car bomb killing
the two attackers and injuring 21 civilians. 

1999 Australian voters rejected a referendum to drop Britain's
queen as their head of state. 

2001 In London, the "Lest We Forget" exhibit opened at the
National Memorial Arboretum. Fred Seiker was the creator of the
24 watercolors. Seiker was a prisoner of war that had been forced
to build the Burma Railroad, the "railway of death," for the
Japanese during World War II. 

2001 In Madrid, Spain, a car bomb injured about 60 people. The
bomb was blamed on Basque separatists. 

2001 Ten people were executed in Beijing, China. The state
newspaper of China said that all of the people executed were
robbers and killers aged 20-23. 

2018  smiled.


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What is SSH? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, November 5

Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Suspect arrested after striking 10 vehicles,
climbing onto roof of "Five Guys" to hide

______________________________________________________
Today, November 5 in
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when he
was captured before he could blow up the English Parliament. Guy
Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th in Britain to
celebrate his failure to blow up all the members of Parliament
and King James I. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends. --- Herbert Hoover (1874 - 1964) ______________________________________________________ A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. "Hey, what's up with you?", he asks. "Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me." "Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde, redhead or brunette?" "Neither, He grandfather is bald." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Bumper Stickers from 20 years ago: If that phone was up your butt, maybe you could drive better! Don't be sexist, broads hate that. Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it! Constipated people don't give a crap. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? My kid got your honor roll student pregnant. If you can read this... I lost my trailer. Your just jealous cause the voices are only talking to me. I have the body of a God.... Buddha. So many pedestrians...so little time. Eat right, exercise, die anyway! Illiterate...Write for help. Cover me... I'm changing lanes. Boldly going nowhere. Body by Nautilus, brain by Mattel. Honk if anything falls off. If we quit voting, will they all go away ? Heart attacks: God's revenge for dieting. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A famed English explorer was invited to Dartmouth to tell of his adventures in the African jungle. "Can you imagine," he demanded, "people so primitive that they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices from the belly of certain animals? And grind up grass seed, make it into a paste, burn it over a fire, then smear it with a greasy mess they extract from the mammary fluid of certain other animals?" When the students looked startled by such barbarism, the explorer added softly, "What I've been describing, of course, is a breakfast of bacon and eggs and buttered toast." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by James Edward Baumann, 37 Stafford, Virginia Suspect arrested after striking 10 vehicles, climbing onto roof of "Five Guys" to hide A man wanted in three jurisdictions was arrested Monday at Stafford Marketplace after striking ten vehicles before climbing onto the roof of a Five Guys restaurant and hiding in an air conditioning unit. On Monday shortly before 10 a.m., deputies responded to reports of multiple vehicle accidents near the Bank of America at Stafford Marketplace. Deputies determined that the driver of a Ford pick-up truck hauling a trailer holding another pickup truck crashed into the vehicles, four of which were occupied when struck. Both of the pick-up trucks later found to be stolen. Four subjects were transported to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries. After striking the vehicles, the subject, who was intoxicated, scaled a metal pipe alongside a building and climbed onto the roof of a Five Guys restaurant where he was found hiding in an air conditioning unit. The suspect, James Edward Baumann, 37, was wanted in three jurisdictions—Stafford County, Prince William County, and Spotsylvania County. Baumann was incarcerated at Rappahannock Regional Jail without bond on his outstanding warrants. The investigation is ongoing and additional charges are pending. From: Alex Re: SSH Dear Webby. What exactly is SSH? A program I am trying to buy, requires that I have SSH access. However, my web host tells me that I don't need it and would not know how to use it, even if I had it. So, what is it and what does it do? Alex Dear Alex SSH is secure access to the server command line, just like Telnet used to be until about 25 years ago. The main difference is that SSH is securely encrypted and can't be intercepted. It is not difficult to use, and programs, that require it, are very specific and detailed about what you need to do. Usually they even give you the exact command to type or paste to the command line. Then you type that in and hit Enter. No big deal at all. Web hosting is often like an MLM pyramid. The farther down you are, the fewer rights and privileges you have. When you don't get SSH, but instead get a snotty reply implying that you would not know how to use it, then you know you have hit rock bottom, and it's time to move up a few levels. The bare command line can be a bit intimidating to some people, but at our level, for example, we explain what each command does, and step you through it while connected to you via Skype chat. Sure, it takes a bit more time, but you learn, and next time you know how to do it yourself. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
>From Jean It’s the men’s turn to make wisecracks! After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years. But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it! Received an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for some action!" I've sent her my ironing; that'll keep her busy! The wife's been hinting she wants something black and lacy for her birthday. So I bought her a pair of football boots! Growing up with a dyslexic father had its advantages. Whenever he caught me swearing, he used to wash my mouth out with soup! My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm! Anyone have an owner's manual for a wife? Mine's giving off a terrible whining noise! My wife apologized for the first time ever today. She said she's sorry she ever married me! Does anyone know how long you cook these "boil in the bag fish" that you win at the fun fair? My wife said I needed to be more in touch with my feminine side, so I crashed the car, burnt the dinner, and ignored her all day for no reason! Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90 percent. It's called wedding cake! Things turned really ugly at my house last night. The wife removed her makeup! My wife shouted at me this morning for not opening the car door for her. I would have, but I was too busy swimming to the surface!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Bubba was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey. His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors to look carefully at his client. "Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant. "Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?" He was acquitted. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Ecological Holiday Parties If you purchase some inexpensive, reusable plastic plates, cups, and use your own utensils, you will have a much more ecological party that relying on disposable plates and cups. You also will be able to use them year after year, which will save you money. You can also go to a garage sale and buy proper plates and cups and glasses for less than the plastic ware costs. They don't take much more room to store till next year. DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Weather Channel’s New Green Screen Tech is Impressive
___________________________________________________ Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time." I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson. The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Sandie for this story: We went to the movies the other night. I sat in an aisle seat, as I usually do, because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start, a Millenial from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. "Excuse me. Sorry! Oops. Excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry. Oops! Excuse me." By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, "Couldn't you have done this a little earlier?" "No!" she said in a loud whisper. "The 'Turn Off Your Cell Phone, Please' message just flashed up on the screen and mine is out in the car."

Today November 5 in
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when he
was captured before he could blow up the English Parliament. Guy
Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th in Britain to
celebrate his failure to blow up all the members of Parliament
and King James I. 

1844 In California, a grizzly bear underwent a successful
cataract operation at the Zoological Garden. 

1872 In the U.S., Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting
to vote in the presidential election. She never paid the fine. 

1895 George B. Selden received the first U.S. patent for an
automobile. He sold the rights for $200,000 four years later. 

1911 Italy officially annexed Tripoli. 

1935 The game "Monopoly" was introduced by Parker Brothers
Company. 

1940 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt won an unprecedented third
term in office. 

1944 Lord Moyne, a British official, was assassinated by the
Zionist Stern gang in Cairo, Egypt. 

1946 John F. Kennedy was elected to the U.S. House of
Representatives at the age of 29. 

1955 The Vienna State Opera House in Austria formally reopened
ten years after WWII. 

1956 British and French forces began landing in Egypt during the
Suez Canal Crisis. A cease-fire was declared 2 days later. 

1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement at
L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland. 

1967 In Moscow, the Ostankino Tower opened. It was the world's
tallest free-standing structure for nine years. 

1974 Ella T. Grasso was elected governor of Connecticut. She was
the first woman in the U.S. to win a governorship without
succeeding her husband. 

1984 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the NFL had exceeded
antitrust limits in attempting to stop the Oakland Raiders from
moving to Los Angeles. 

1986 The White House reaffirmed the U.S. ban on the sale of
weapons to Iran. 

1987 In South Africa, Goban Mbeki was released after serving 24
years in the Robben Island prison. He had been sentenced to life
for treason against the white minority government of South
Africa. 

1998 Scientists published a genetic study that showed strong
evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child (Eston
Hemings) of his slave, Sally Hemings. 

1990 Rabbi Meir Kahane, founder of the Kach movement, was shot to
death after a speech at a New York Hotel. His assassin, Egyptian
El Sayyid, was later convicted of the murder and was sentenced to
life in prison for his part in the World Trade Center bombing. 

1992 Malice Green, a black motorist, was beaten to death in
Detroit during a struggle with police. Two officers were later
convicted in his death and sentenced to prison. 

1994 Former U.S. President Reagan announced that he had
Alzheimer's disease. 

1994 George Foreman, 45, became boxing's oldest heavyweight
champion when he knocked out Michael Moorer in the 10th round of
their WBA fight in Las Vegas, NV. 

1998 In the U.S., Chairman Henry Hyde of the Judiciary Committee
asked President Clinton to answer 81 questions for the House
impeachment inquiry. 

1998 The U.N. announced that the Taliban militia had killed up to
5,000 civilians in a takeover of an Afghani town. 

1999 A 12-day conference on global warming, attended by delegates
from 170 nations, ended in Bonn, Germany. 

1999 Dennis Rodman (NBA) and Carmen Electra were both arrested
and charged with battery and domestic violence in a hotel in
Miami Beach, FL. 

1999 U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled that
Microsoft Corp. enjoyed "monopoly power". 

2001 It was announced that European aircraft manufacturer Airbus
and Dubai-based Emirates airlines set up a joint venture
specializing in airline services. 

2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13
people and wounded 30 others. He is still sitting in jail while
lawyers fight against his ordered execution.

2018  smiled.


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Keyboard/Mouse/Video/Sound switch 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, November 4
Time to change the clocks to Winter time,
except in a few distinct areas.
Turn the clocks BACK, so that you get an 
hour of extra sleep in the morning,

>From Dani
Dear Webby, 
Thank you so much for your advise on Mail Washer. 
I purchased it yesterday and it is a working wonder, 
just like you. 
So easy. Wish I had gotten it a long time ago. 
Thanks again for all you do. 
Dani 


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


4 charged after toddler found outside 
with a bottle of beer

______________________________________________________
Today, November 4 in
1847 Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered 
the anethestic qualities of chloroform. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything. --- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931) People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed. --- Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. --- William James ______________________________________________________ >From Jim The wedding ceremony came to the point where the minister asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom.  The moment of utter silence was broken when a beautiful young woman carrying a child stood up. She starts walking slowly towards the minister.  The congregation was aghast - you could almost hear a pin drop. The groom's jaw dropped as he stared in disbelief at the approaching young woman and child. Chaos ensued. The bride threw the bouquet into the air and burst out crying. Then the groom's mother fainted. The best men started giving each other looks and wondering how to save the situation. The minister asked the woman, "Can you tell us, why you came forward? What do you have to say?" There was absolute silence in the church. The woman replied, "Grampa, we can't hear you in the back!" And that illustrates what happens when people are considered guilty until proven innocent. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Judge admonished the witness, "Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?" "I do." "Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?" "Sure," said the witness. "My side will win." "OK, then, if your side wins, then you are guilty of perjury and will get ten years." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ My girlfriend asked me if I'll love her in the morning. I told her it depends on what happens tonight. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ashlee Harcum, 29 Theresa Rockinberg, 52 Rebecca Rockinberg, 27 Akeiba Johnson, 24 Steeltron, Pennsylvania 4 charged after toddler found outside with a bottle of beer Four women in Steelton are facing charges after an officer on patrol saw two toddlers running across a street. One of the toddlers, according to police, had a beer. The officer was on patrol on Oct. 7 in the area of South 4th Street when he saw two children under the age of 2 running across the street. Both children didn't have shoes on, and one was carrying a full, opened bottle of beer, police said. As a result of the investigation, the following women were charged with endangering the welfare of children: From: Irene Re: Keyboard/Mouse/Monitor/Speakers switch Dear Webby. You once mentioned a switch that allows one to use one keyboard for two machines and monitors. What are they called and how do they work? Irene Dear Irene They are called KVM switches. You plug your keyboard and your mouse and your microphone and speakers or head set in on one side, and the two monitors and cables to both computers for USB, microphone and speakers on the other side of the switch. It is a good idea to untangle your cable salad beforehand and label each cable. If you do that, it's easy and works on the first try. When you start up after you connect, your mouse and keyboard control computer #1, the speakers play the sound from #1, and the monitor shows what's going on on computer #1. You hit NumLock or ScrollLock twice, and everything switches to machine #2. You can, of course, use two monitors. That way you see both the actively controlled and the other machine. The other machine does not pause, everything keeps running, you just don't actively control it with mouse and keyboard, - until you double- hit NumLock and switch the active control over to that machine. If you run two machines at the same time, a KVM switch is definitely the way to go. That way you use only ONE keyboard and ONE mouse. Instead of digging for Mouse#2 and knocking your coffee over, you just hit Numlock twice and you are instantly controlling the other machine. Have FUN! DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Bob's wife uses curlers in her hair after she washes it. She came into the Family Room as he was watching TV. He stared at her funny because she said, "I just set my hair." The last thing he remembers saying was, "Oh, really? And what time does it go off?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
REPORTED TO BE REAL-LIFE ADS ~ 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess. ~ Lost small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. ~ A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. ~ Dinner Special: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. ~ For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. ~ Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. ~ We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. ~ For Sale: Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy. ~ Great Dames for sale. ~ Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition. ~ Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. ~ Vacation Special: have your home exterminated. ~ If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin. ~ MT. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in. ~ Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours. ~ Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Label the Labels If you have more than one child, it can become difficult to remember which article of clothing goes with which child. One easy solution is to mark the initials of owners on the clothing tag with permanent ink. Use a different color for each child. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
How an 1830s Meme Became the Most Widely Spoken Word in the World
___________________________________________________ By the time Ted arrived at the football game, the first quarter was almost over. "Why are you so late?" his friend asked. "I had to toss a coin to decide between going to church and coming to the game." "How long could that have taken you?" "Well, I had to toss it 814 times." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
was eating breakfast one morning and started thinking about things. "Mommy, why does daddy have so few hairs on his head?" he asked his mother. "He thinks a lot," replied mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness. thought for a second and asked, "So why do you have so much hair?"

Today November 4 in
1846 A patent for an artificial leg was granted to Benjamin
Palmer. 

1847 Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered the
anethestic qualities of chloroform. 

1880 James and John Ritty patented the first cash register. 

1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter discovered the entry of the lost
tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamen. 

1924 Nellie T. Ross of Wyoming was elected America's first woman
governor so she could serve out the remaining term of her late
husband, William B. Ross. 

1939 During World War II, the U.S. modified its neutrality stance
with the Neutrality Act of 1939. The new policy allowed cash-and-
carry purchases of arms by belligerents. 

1939 At the 40th National Automobile Show the first air-
conditioned car was put on display. 

1942 During World War II, Axis forces retreated from El Alamein
in North Africa. It was a major victory for the British. 

1952 In the United States, the National Security Agency (NSA) was
established. 

1956 Soviet forces enter Hungary in order to suppress the
uprising that had begun on October 23, 1956. 

1965 Lee Ann Roberts Breedlove became the first woman to exceed
300 mph when she went 308.5 mph. 

1970 Former King Peter II of Yugoslavia died in Denver, CO. He
was the first European king or queen to die and to be buried in
the U.S. 

1979 Iranian militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran and took
63 Americans hostage (90 total hostages). The militants, mostly
students, demanded that the U.S. send the former shah back to
Iran to stand trial. Many hostages were later released, but 52
were held for the next 14 months. 

1981 The second scheduled flight of the space shuttle Columbia
was canceled with only 31 seconds left in the countdown. 

1984 Nicaragua held its first free elections in 56 years. 

1985 Soviet defector Vitaly Yurchenko announced he was returning
to the Soviet Union. He had charged that he had been kidnapped by
the CIA. 

1989 About a million East Germans filled the streets of East
Berlin in a pro-democracy rally. 

1990 Iraq issued a statement saying it was prepared to fight a
"dangerous war" rather than give up Kuwait. 

1991 Ronald Reagan opened his presidential library in Simi
Valley, CA. The dedication ceremony was attended by President
Bush and former U.S. presidents Jimmy Carter, Gerald R. Ford and
Richard M. Nixon. It was the 1st gathering of 5 U.S. chief
executives. 

1995 Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, 73 years old, was
assassinated by right-wing Israeli Yigal Amir after attending a
peace rally. 

1999 The United Nations imposed economic sanctions against the
Taliban that controlled most of Afghanistan. The sanctions were
imposed because the Taliban had refused to turn over Osama bin
Laden, who had been charged with masterminding the 1998 bombings
of the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania. 

2001 The movie "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" had its
world premiere in London. 

2001 Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba destroying crops and thousands of
homes. The United States made the gesture of sending humanitarian
aid. On December 16, 2001, Cuba received the first commercial
food shipment from the U.S. in nearly 40 years. 

2010 Microsoft's Kinect was launched worldwide. 

2018  smiled.


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Problem with "Ease US" 




Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, November 3

Chelsea Handler, considered by Commies to be a comedian, 
posted, “If you’re on a dating app, please ask someone on a date
November 6th and then just take them to vote. That’s the most
romantic thing you can do right now.”

I sure am glad I am not a Commie or Dim. 
I can think of an awful lot of activities, that are more
romantic!

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Man facing trial on charges of attacking 
fiancee with chainsaw, dragging her through fire

______________________________________________________
Today, November 3 in
1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the
second manmade satellite to be put into orbit and was the first
to put an animal into space, a dog named Laika. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another.... --- Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000), ______________________________________________________ "So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong: First he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. "All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, I ended up catching twelve fish and he caught none!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A minister, having served the same church for many years, decided to leave and take a similar position in another church. Without telling anyone he had made this decision or writing a letter to the congregation, he waited until Sunday morning to announce his resignation in church. When he spoke to the congregation he said, "The same Jesus that called me to this church many years ago has now called upon me to leave and serve another church." The choir all stood and sang, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ An elderly man in Florida calls his son in New York. The father says to the son, "I hate to tell you, but we've got some troubles here in the house. Your mother and I can't stand each other anymore, and we're getting a divorce. I've had it! I want to live out the rest of my years in peace. I'm telling you now, so you and your sister shouldn't go into shock later when I move out." He hangs up, and the son immediately calls his sister in the Hamptons and tells her the news. The sister says, "I'll handle this!" She calls Florida and says to her father, "Don't do ANYTHING until we get there! We'll be there Wednesday night." The father agrees. He hangs up the phone and hollers to his wife, "Okay, they're coming for Thanksgiving, and they are paying for their own tickets. Now, what are we going to tell them for Christmas?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ <1--Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Robert Presley Jr., 46, Detroit, Michigan Man facing trial on charges of attacking fiancee with chainsaw, dragging her through fire A Detroit-area man is facing trial on charges that he attacked his fiancee with a chainsaw and dragged her through a campfire at his cabin in Clare County this summer. Robert Presley Jr., 46, is accused of attacking the 38-year-old woman from Madison Heights on his property June 6 in Clare County’s village of Temple. On Friday, a judge ruled there was enough evidence for Presley Jr.’s case to move to trial on all 14 felony charges filed against him. He faces up to life in prison if convicted of the most serious charges. Authorities say on June 6 a domestic fight broke out between Presley and the woman. He allegedly cut her with a chainsaw, dragged her through a campfire and struck her with his hands or feet before she was able to escape. The woman walked to the roadway, where a passing motorist picked her up and brought her to an ambulance station nearby. She was transported to Munson Healthcare Cadillac Hospital, where she was being treated for serious injuries. After the woman escaped, Presley allegedly drove himself to the Clare County Sheriff’s Office to file a report about her assaulting him. Police say he was intoxicated when he showed up and had nine guns in plain sight in his vehicle. Presley was arrested on charges including assault with intent to murder, torture, possession of ammunition as a convicted felon, drunken driving second offense and habitual offender third offense enhancement. He also faces nine counts of carrying a firearm as a convicted felon. From: Bill Re: Ease US Dear Webby. On trying to run my backup program, "Ease US version11.5", I get a message that there are errors on partition C:\. I have spent hours researching this problem. I have run CHKDSK and other suggestions. I did not download any "fixer" programs. Otherwise, my new 1Tb SDD with Windows 10 seems to be working well. Do you have any suggestions or recommend a program that will get rid of the errors on partition C? Thanks. Bill Hi Bill I have never heard of Ease US. If chkdsk says the disk is OK, I would trust that. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what's my problem?" Doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Things are not always the way they may appear. For example, a woman's dog got out of the yard and later returned with a rabbit in its mouth. She realized it was the neighbors' pet rabbit, and knew she would never be able to tell them what happened. Since they were out of town, she hit upon a plan. She took the rabbit into the bathroom, washed it off, and blew its fur dry. Then she took the rabbit to the neighbors' backyard and put the rabbit back in its cage. She thought the neighbors would discover the rabbit dead and think it died in the cage, and would never suspect what really had happened. On Monday, there was a knock at the door, and when she answered, her neighbor was standing there. He asked her if she had seen anyone in their backyard over the weekend. She said no. He said, "Did you see anything strange going on around our house or yard?" Again, she denied seeing anything suspicious. She said, "Why are you asking me these questions? What happened?" He said, "Well, something really strange is going on in my backyard. On Friday our rabbit died, so we buried it in the backyard. But when we came back from the weekend, it was back in the cage!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Decorations Your Children Can Make Here are some decorations your kids can make. Paint macaroni and string it together to wrap around your tree. Have them cut out snowflakes from white paper to decorate your walls. Or have kids string together popcorn and cranberries. Balls made from crumpled aluminum foil and splattered with water colors also look quite classy. For splattering, use a toothbrush, not a paintbrush, and rub it over the backside of a sieve. With a little bit of practice, it puts a fine and even spray onto whatever is about a foot below the sieve. Candy- apple red and electric blue dots look great. Best done in the shower or sink. DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Shirk Report
___________________________________________________ >From Ella My daughter's fifth grade class had been studying astronomy. One morning over breakfast she announced, "On Friday we're having a quiz on the moon." At once her little brother's eyes got big and he asked, "Are you gonna let her go, Mom?" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From Ed I have a reputation at work for being a strict boss. One day I was in the break room with another manager. I reached into the refrigerator for my lunch, which was packed in an Ace Hardware paper bag. My co-worker stopped mid-bite and stared at me, looking a little tense. When I pulled my sandwich out of the bag, he sighed in relief. "What's the matter?" I asked him. "Uh, nothing," he replied, "I was beginning to think you really do eat nails for lunch."

Today November 3 in
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa
Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa. 

1631 The Reverend John Eliot arrived in the Massachusetts Bay
Colony. He was the first Protestant minister to dedicate himself
to the conversion of Native Americans to Christianity. 

1793 Stephen F. Austin was born. He was the principal founder of
Texas. 

1839 The first Opium War between China and Britain erupted. 

1892 The first automatic telephone went into service at LaPorte,
IN. The device was invented by Almon Strowger. 

1900 The first automobile show in the United States opened at New
York's Madison Square Garden. 

1903 Panama proclaimed its independence from Colombia. 

1911 Chevrolet Motor Car Company was founded by Louis Chevrolet
and William C. Durant. 

1934 The first race track in California opened under a new pari-
mutuel betting law. 

1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the Japanese
may be planning a sudden attack on the U.S. 

1952 Frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time in a
supermarket in Chester, NY. 

1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the
second manmade satellite to be put into orbit and was the first
to put an animal into space, a dog named Laika. 

1973 The U.S. launched the Mariner 10 spacecraft. On March 29,
1974 it became the first spacecraft to reach the planet Mercury. 

1979 Five members of the Communist Workers' Party are shot to
death in broad daylight at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally in
Greensboro, NC. Eight others were wounded. 

1986 The Ash-Shiraa, pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, first broke
the story of U.S. arms sales to Iran to secure the release of
seven American hostages. The story turned into the Iran-Contra
affair. 

1987 China told the U.S. that it would halt the sale of arms to
Iran. 

1991 Israeli and Palestinian representatives held their first-
ever face-to-face talks in Madrid, Spain. 

1994 Susan Smith of Union, SC, was arrested for drowning her two
sons. Nine days earlier Smith had claimed that the children had
been abducted by a black carjacker. 

1995 U.S. President Clinton dedicated a memorial at Arlington
National Cemetery to the 270 victims of the bombing of Pan Am
Flight 103. 

1998 Bob Kane, the creator of Batman, died at the age of 83. 

1998 A state-run newspaper in Iraq urged the country to prepare
for to battle "the U.S. monster." 

1998 Minnesota elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former pro
wrestler, as its governor. 

2002 At Kai Tak Airport in Hong Kong, 777 people assembled a
58,435 square foot jigsaw puzzle with 21,600 pieces. 

2003 In Kabul, Afghanistan, a post-Taliban draft constitution was
unveiled. 

2005 Walt Disney Pictures released "Chicken Little." It was the
first Disney film completely created with computer animation. 

2014 In New York City, One World Trade Center opened for
business. 

2018  smiled.


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How complicated is mailWasher? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, November 2
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.


We need to show more sympathy for these people.

* They travel miles in the heat.
* They risk their lives crossing a border.
* They don't get paid enough wages.
* They do jobs that others won't do or are afraid to do.
* They live in crowded conditions among a people who speak a
different language.
* They rarely see their families, and they face adversity all
day every day.

I'm not talking about illegal invaders.
I'm talking about our troops!

Doesn't it seem strange that many are willing to lavish all
kinds of social benefits on illegals, but don't support our
troops and are now threatening to defund them?


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Indiana woman arrested for writing racist 
note to family: 'This is a white neighborhood'

______________________________________________________
Today, November 2 in
1895 In Chicago, IL, the first gasoline powered car 
contest took place in America. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public. --- Scott Adams (1957 - ) "If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner." --- Tallulah Bankhead The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive. --- John Sladek ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Because he's a longtime Harley rider, my grandfather looks at everything from a biker's perspective. I once gave him a haircut and got carried away. He looked at the pile of gray hair on the floor, smiled and said, "You cut off all the chrome." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ My 50-something friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her mother to the magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access the popular "Google" site, and we told her it could answer any question she had. Nancy's mother was very skeptical, but finally typed in a question: "Where did I leave my keys?" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister left me alone in a restaurant with my 12-month-old nephew. I said, "What do I do if he cries?" She said, "Give him some vegetables." It turns out that jalapenos are not his favorite, and that he can fling an open bowl of salsa almost 20 feet. ______________________________________________________ Soon! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Deborah Cantwell, 63, Kokomo, Indiana Indiana woman arrested for writing racist note to family: 'This is a white neighborhood' An Indiana woman is accused of writing a racist note that targeted a mixed-race teen with a racial slur, and also warned his family, "THIS IS A WHITE NEIGHBORHOOD," authorities said. Deborah Cantwell, 63, who is white, was arrested and charged with intimidation and criminal mischief, according to the Howard County Sheriff's Office. She was released last week on $8,000 bail. It was not clear when her next court appearance is scheduled. A protection order filed Friday by authorities prohibits her from contacting the family, according to the Kokomo Tribune. The note was left on the door of a recently purchased home in Cantwell's Greentown neighborhood and contained several uses of the N-word, authorities said. YOUR N***** KID IS NOT WELCOME, one paragraph begins, according to a copy of the letter posted on a GoFundMe page established by Amy Pundt, the mother of the 15-year-old referred to in the letter. Pundt said her family was devastated by the letter, which her husband found tucked in the front door of their new home. Their yard had also been toilet-papered, she wrote. "This destroyed his innocence. This destroyed a childhood. This even effected my other 4 kids! This is not an all-white town, nor is this an all-white neighborhood. This one person does not represent this neighborhood or this town," Pundt wrote on her fundraising page, which seeks $7,000 to purchase a home security system and to hire a lawyer, she said. Pundt's husband told authorities he suspected Cantwell had written the unsigned letter because the home's seller told him she was opposed to the family moving in because of their mixed- race son, the paper reported. Investigators obtained text messages sent by Cantwell stating, I am stressing now that we are going to get black neighbors, she texted, according to court records, the paper reported. I am hoping that more people look at the house and an all-white family are the ultimate buyers. I am afraid the stress of black neighbors could put me in the hospital. My blood pressure is elevated just thinking about the possibility. In an Oct. 18 interview with law enforcement investigators, Cantwell acknowledged writing the letter in anger and to toilet- papering the new homeowners' yard. I mean, the blacks get away with it every time, Cantwell told an investigator, according to the affidavit, the paper said. I was just trying to let them know that they weren't really welcome as far as us. I just needed to let off some steam and it was the I'm not a violent person so I didn't think it was any big deal, she told the investigator. The teen's mother, on her fundraising post, said she does not know what to tell her son, who is an honors student, choir member and soccer player, she said. How do I tell my child that this was done? What words do I say to let him know it is not OK and this doesn't represent this town, where everyone that meets him likes him? she wrote. From: Dani Re: How complicated is MailWasher? Dear Webby. Once again I need your expert advise. How complicated is Mailwasher? I have wanted to purchase it for some times, but not sure I would know how to set it to get the 100 or more per day spam e- mails that I receive. Thank you for any information you can give me. Blessings, Dani Dear Dani Dear Dani Mailwasher is as easy as your bed, and just as customizable. You can run it as is. By default it will take care of most spam. If any spam still shows up, then you start making filters. Filters are easy, mostly just PULL-DOWN choices. For example: IF SENDER ADDRESS CONTAINS ex-mother-in-law's-address@hotmail.com then DELETE AUTOMATICALLY. That's it for that example. There are all kinds of options like coloring different filters different colors, but all that is optional. Filters have all kinds of options, like BUT NOT For example IF SENDER ADDRESS CONTAINS ex-mother-in-law's-address@hotmail.com BUT NOT IF BODY CONTAINS Christmas then DELETE AUTOMATICALLY. That deletes all mail from her, unless she mentions Christmas in the body of the mail. That is just an example. The idea is to get sneakier than the spammers, and those, who are a nuisance. You can tell each filter what to do with the result. That can be to add it to the Friends list, to the blacklist, to mark it for deletion, to never delete, to automatically delete, and so on. They are all available options. The only typing or pasting involved is the address or key word, that you want it to use. You don't have to play with the filters right away, just when you see some spam, that it does not automatically recognize. Filters can be for bad stuff and also for good stuff. For example, you can make a filter that IF the SENDER ADDRESS CONTAINS humor@webby.com THEN NEVER DELETE the email. (even if Dear Webby bitches about evil spammers or Mad Maxine) It becomes a brain game, you against the spammers. With MailWasher YOU got all the weapons. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
I was taking a shower when my 2 year old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots.They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically, and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror wearing nothing but a camera! - Name Withheld
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear,"PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Gas Tip: Avoid Idling If you are stuck in traffic and you don't think you are going to go anywhere in the next five minutes, turn your car off. Also, you no longer need to warm your car up for long periods of time, especially new cars. New cars are made to run when cold. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Her cakes and pastries are too pretty to eat!
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Faye for this story: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Arvid for this report: I decided to stop worrying about my wife's driving and take advantage of it. I got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 number on it. At 50 cents a call, I've been making $38 a week.

Today November 2 in
1721 Peter the Great (Peter I), ruler of Russia, changed his
title to emperor. 

1776 During the American Revolutionary War, William Demont,
became the first traitor of the American Revolution when he
deserted. 

1783 U.S. Gen. George Washington gave his "Farewell Address to
the Army" near Princeton, NJ. 

1867 "Harpers Bazaar" magazine was founded. 

1883 Thomas Edison executed a patent application for an
electrical indicator using the Edison effect lamp (U.S. Pat.
307,031). 

1895 In Chicago, IL, the first gasoline powered car contest took
place in America. 

1917 British Foreign Secretary Arthur Balfour expressed support
for a "national home" for the Jews of Palestine. 

1920 The first commercial radio station in the U.S., KDKA of
Pittsburgh, PA, began regular broadcasting. 

1921 Margaret Sanger's National Birth Control League combined
with Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form the
American Birth Control League. 

1930 Haile Selassie was crowned emperor of Ethiopia. 

1930 The DuPont Company announced the first synthetic rubber. It
was named DuPrene. 

1947 Howard Hughes flew his "Spruce Goose," a huge wooden
airplane, for eight minutes in California. It was the plane's
first and only flight. The "Spruce Goose," nicknamed because of
the white-gray color of the spruce used to build it, never went
into production. 

1948 Harry S. Truman defeated Thomas E. Dewey for the U.S.
presidency. The Chicago Tribune published an early edition that
had the headline "DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN." The Truman victory
surprised many polls and newspapers.

1959 Charles Van Doren, a game show contestant on the NBC-TV
program "Twenty-One" admitted that he had been given questions
and answers in advance. 

1960 In London, the novel "Lady Chatterly's Lover," was found not
guilty of obscenity. 

1962 U.S. President Kennedy announced that the U.S.S.R. was
dismantling the missile sites in Cuba. 

1963 South Vietnamese President Ngo Dihn Diem was assassinated in
a military coup. 

1966 The Cuban Adjustment Act allows 123,000 Cubans to apply for
permanent residence in the U.S. 

1979 Joanna Chesimard, a black militant escaped from a New Jersey
prison, where she'd been serving a life sentence for the 1973
murder of a New Jersey state trooper. 

1983 U.S. President Ronald Reagan signed a bill establishing a
federal holiday on the third Monday of January in honor of civil
rights leader Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 

1984 Velma Barfield became the first woman to be executed in the
U.S. since 1962. She had been convicted of the poisoning death of
her boyfriend. 

1985 The South African government imposed severe restrictions on
television, radio and newspaper coverage of unrest by both local
and foreign journalists. 

1986 The 12-by-16-inch celluloid of a poison apple from Walt
Disney's "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"" was purchased for
$30,800. 

1986 American hostage David Jacobson was released after being
held in Lebanon for 17 months by Shiite Muslims kidnappers. 

1989 Carmen Fasanella retired after 68 years and 243 days of
taxicab service in Princeton, NJ. 

1992 Magic Johnson retired from the NBA again, this time for good
because of fear due to his HIV infection. 

1993 The U.S. Senate called for full disclosure of Senator Bob
Packwood's diaries in a sexual harassment probe. 

1993 Christie Todd Whitman was elected the first woman governor
of New Jersey. 

1995 The U.S. expelled Daiwa Bank Ltd. for allegedly covering up
$1.1 billion in trading losses. 

2003 In the U.S., the Episcopal Church diocese consecrated the
church's first openly gay bishop.

2018  smiled.


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Alternative to Norton 




Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, November 1

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Wyandotte police arrest man with 
380 suspensions, 45 active warrants
for his arrest

______________________________________________________
Today, November 1 in
1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel were first exhibited to the public. The original had many
nude figures, which were painted over in the 1960s.
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish. --- Aeschylus (525 BC - 456 BC) To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence. --- Friedrich Nietzsche There's always somebody who is paid too much, and taxed too little - and it's always somebody else. --- Cullen Hightower Empty pockets never held anyone back. Only empty heads and empty hearts can do that. --- Norman Vincent Peale ______________________________________________________ Nurse: "Doctor, Doctor the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step what should I do?" Doctor: "Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Wendy Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eyes and says, "Listen here, good looking. I will screw anybody, anytime, anywhere." His eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding... I'm in Government too. Are you Federal, or State? _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A guy goes to the doctor due to a hangnail. He walks in, tells the nurse what is wrong and she immediately tells him: "Go into the cubicle on the left and take off all your clothes. The doctor will be with you shortly." Wondering why this problem would require one to undress, he nontheless complies. After a few minutes, he becomes aware someone is in the cubicle next to his, separated only by a curtain. He peeks and there is another guy standing there undressed. He attracts the man's attention, then asks "Why do you suppose that nurse told me to take off all my clothes? I only have a hangnail?" The other man replied, "No idea, I'm just the UPS man trying to deliver a package." ______________________________________________________ Tree Kangaroos _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gerald Rashad Grant, 40, Wyandotte, Michigan Wyandotte police arrest man with 380 suspensions, 45 active warrants for his arrest A man who allegedly has been driving on a suspended license since 1999 has been arrested yet again. On Feb. 1, Wyandotte police pulled over the man after noticing a heavily cracked windshield on the driver’s side of his vehicle. That’s when they learned he was ineligible to drive due to over 380 current suspensions, and he had 45 active warrants for his arrest. Once again, it was not the man’s poor driving that caused him to get pulled over, but an issue with his vehicle. At approximately 2:30 a.m. Oct. 16, an officer was on Biddle Avenue when he noticed the vehicle in front of him had a burnt- out license plate lamp. A police report states the officer immediately recognized Gerald Rashad Grant, a 40-year-old Detroit resident, from prior arrests. The officer asked him for his driver’s license, registration and proof of insurance. “Grant handed me a Michigan identification card and was unable to provide any of the other requested documents,” the officer wrote in his report. “Grant then stated that his driver’s license was suspended. Grant stated ‘I just did six months for the last time you got me.’” According to police records, Grant’s number of suspensions had gone done from when he was pulled over in February, when he had 380. Currently his driver’s license is ineligible due to over 340 current suspensions. Records also indicate his driver’s license has been expired since Feb. 11, 1999, and there were 41 warrants for his arrest. According to Deputy Police Chief Archie Hamilton, in his entire police career he had only come across a handful of drivers who had more than 100 suspensions, but prior to Grant had never seen anyone with over 300. Hamilton said Grant was arraigned and received a $15,000/10 percent bond. He’s due back in 27th District Court Oct. 25 for a pretrial hearing. From: Bob Re: Alternatives to Norton Dear Webby. what do you recommend instead of Norton??? I have norton along with my DSL from AT&T bob Dear Bob I use Malwarebytes. That takes care of everything except spam. To control spam I use MailWasherM/a>. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
In MY day: Second Runner-Up: In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In winter, we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction. First Runner-Up: In my day, we didn't have MTV or in-line skates, or any of that stuff. No, it was 45s and regular old metal-wheeled roller skates, and the 45s always skipped, so to get them to play right you'd weigh the needle down with something like quarters, which we never had because our allowances were way too small, so we'd use our skate keys instead and end up forgetting they were taped to the record player arm so that we couldn't adjust our skates, which didn't really matter because those crummy metal wheels would kill you if you hit a pebble anyway, and in those days roads had real pebbles on them, not like today. And the winner: In my day, we didn't have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads. Honorable Mentions: In my day, we didn't have fancy health-food restaurants. Every day we ate lots of easily recognizable animal parts, along with potatoes. In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated. In my day, we didn't get that disembodied, slightly ticked- off voice saying 'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out, it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the next station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar. In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms. Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day, the sun revolved around the world, and the world was perched on the back of a giant tortoise. Back in my day, they hadn't invented electricity. We had to watch television by candlelight. Send me YOUR "In MY day" story!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Kathy and Suzy are having a conversation during there lunch break. Kathy asks, "So, Suzy, how's your sex life these days?" Suzy replies, "Oh, you know. It's the usual, Social Security kind." "Social Security?" Kathy asked quizzically. "Yeah, you get a little each month, but it's not enough to live on." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Mattresses Have Fragile Handles Don't move a mattress by picking it up by the handles on either side. They are made to shift the mattress from side to side and tend to break when used to move the whole mattress. Press both hands together on either side to get a grip on it. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
21 Houses to Avoid on Halloween
___________________________________________________ After listening to the elderly hooker plead her case, Judge Hanson called a brief recess and retired to his chambers. En route, he bumped into Judge Forbes. "Say," said Hanson, "what would you give a sixty-three year-old hooker?" "Oh gosh," replied Forbes, "five or six bucks tops." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Ann for this story: I wanted a haircut and phoned a salon early for an appoint- ment but was told customers were taken on a walk-in basis only. On Saturday I got there by 9 a.m. and there were already ten people waiting. I drove to another salon, but it was booked solid. Still another had no openings. The situation seemed hopeless, so I went home. My husband greeted me at the door. "That was fast," he said cheerfully. "Your hair looks great!"

Today November 1 in
1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel were first exhibited to the public. The original had many
nude figures, which were painted over in the 1960s.

1604 "Othello," the tragedy by William Shakespeare, was first
presented at Whitehall Palace in London. 

1611 "The Tempest," Shakespeare's romantic comedy, was first
presented at Whitehall Palace in London. 

1755 At least 60,000 people were killed in Lisbon, Portugal by an
earthquake, its aftershocks and the ensuing tsunami.

1765 The British Parliament enacted The Stamp Act in the American
colonies. The act was repealed in March of 1766 on the same day
that the Parliament passed the Declaratory Acts which asserted
that the British government had free and total legislative power
of the colonies. That did not go over well either. 

1800 U.S. President John Adams became the first president to live
in the White House when he moved in. 

1848 The first medical school for women, founded by Samuel
Gregory, opened in Boston, MA. The Boston Female Medical School
later merged with Boston University School of Medicine. 

1856 The first photography magazine, Daguerreian Journal, was
published in New York City, NY. 

1861 Gen. George B. McClellan was made the general-in-chief of
the American Union armies. 

1864 The U.S. Post Office started selling money orders. The money
orders provided a safe way to payments by mail. 

1870 The U.S. Weather Bureau made its first meteorological
observations using 24 locations that provided reports via
telegraph. 

1879 Thomas Edison executed his first patent application for a
high-resistance carbon filament (U.S. Pat. 223,898). 

1894 "Billboard Advertising" was published for the first time. It
later became known as "Billboard." 

1894 Russian Emperor Alexander III died. 

1904 The Army War College in Washington, DC, enrolled the first
class. 

1911 Italy used planes to drop bombs on the Tanguira oasis in
Libya. It was the first aerial bombing. 

1936 Benito Mussolini made a speech in Milan, Italy, in which he
described the alliance between Italy and Nazi Germany as an
"axis" running between Berlin and Rome. 

1940 "A Night in the Tropics" was released. It was the first
movie for Abbott and Costello. 

1949 In Washington, 55 people were killed when a fighter plane
hit an airliner. 

1950 Two Puerto Rican nationalists tried to assassinate U.S.
President Harry Truman. One of the men was killed when they tried
to force their way into Blair House in Washington, DC. 

1952 The United States exploded the first hydrogen bomb on
Eniwetok Atoll in the Marshall Islands. 

1954 Algeria began to rebel against French rule. 

1959 Jacques Plante, of the Montreal Canadiens, became the first
goalie in the NHL to wear a mask. 

1963 The USSR launched Polyot I. It was the first satellite
capable of maneuvering in all directions and able to change its
orbit. 

1968 The movie rating system of G, M, R, X, followed by PG-13 and
NC-17 went into effect. 

1979 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini urged all Iranians to
demonstrate on November 4 and to expand their attacks against the
U.S. and Israel. On November 4, Iranian militants seized the U.S.
embassy in Tehran and took 63 Americans hostage. 

1985 In the village of Ignacio Aldama, 22 members of a Mexican
anti-narcotics squad were killed by alleged drug traffickers. 

1987 Deng Xiaoping retired from China's Communist Party's Central
Committee. 

1989 Tens of thousands of refugees fled to the West when East
Germany reopened its border with Czechoslovakia. 

1989 Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega announced the end of a
cease-fire with the Contra rebels. 

1993 The European Community's treaty on European unity took
effect. 

1994 The Amazon.com domain name was registered. 

1995 In Dayton, OH, the Bosnian peace talks opened with the
leaders of Bosnia, Serbia and Croatia present. 

1998 Nicaraguan Vice President Enrique Bolanos announced that
between 1,000 and 1,500 people were buried in a 32-square mile
area below the slopes of the Casita volcano in northern Nicaragua
by a mudslide caused by Hurricane Mitch. 

1998 Iridium inaugurated the first handheld, global satellite
phone and paging system.

2018  smiled.


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"Outdated" email address 




Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, October 31



home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Mother of N.J. girl who died in 
pancake-eating contest sues college

______________________________________________________
Today, October 31 in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the
Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the
Protestant Reformation in Germany. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Quoting Pelosi yesterday apparently annoyed her two fans. According to them, quoting her is fashist and racist and Trumpist. So we lost 2 subscribers. Booo Hooo! Forward the Humor Letter and hopefully the numbers start climbing again! There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have. --- Don Herold ______________________________________________________ While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide. "Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard." "So what's the answer?" my friend asked him when we were out of earshot of the freshmen. The guide replied, "One." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ My brother and his wife shared their apartment with a parakeet named "Nicky." The exterminator was scheduled to come, so my sister-in-law put Nicky in the bedroom and hung a sign on the door: "Please skip this room. Do not open door. Pet flies." The exterminator came. On his receipt he wrote this comment: "Finished all of the apartment except room with pet flies." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny hollers out: "Okay everyone in the house, please stand advised that I, Little Johnny Elvis Smith, have on this date made a complete fool of myself in sex-education class by repeating stories concerning storks as told to me by certain parties residing in this house!" ______________________________________________________ Cat taking a selfie to prove who-dun-it. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rosanne Nelson, Connecticut Mother of N.J. girl who died in pancake-eating contest sues college The mother of a Connecticut college student who choked to death on pancakes during an eating contest on campus last year has filed a wrongful death lawsuit against the university. Rosanne Nelson sued Sacred Heart University on Monday in Bridgeport state court over the death of her daughter, 20-year- old Caitlin Nelson, of Clark. The lawsuit seeks an undisclosed amount of money and accuses the school of approving the contest despite the dangers and failing to provide adequate medical personnel. Officials at the Catholic university in Fairfield declined to comment. Caitlin Nelson was a junior social work major whose father, police officer James Nelson, was killed in the Sept. 11 attacks in Manhattan. She died at a New York City hospital three days after participating in the eating contest. Police said that Nelson suffered from multiple food allergies, but it is yet unclear what caused her death, the report said. From: Liz Re: "Outdated" email account Dear Webby. I got an email, supposedly from "admin@mailbox.com" that claimed " We noticed that your email account has been outdated . Your email account ...." MailWasher showed the underlying real email address, which was totally different. I was momentarily tempted to tell them where to stuff it, and how, but decided that would just confirm to them, that they got through to me. Instead I am telling you, so that you can alert all subscribers. Liz Dear Liz Yes, that is indeed the best way to handle stuff like that. Instead of making yourself a target, make them the target. It is easy enough to make a filter looking for "outdated". Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm. He stopped and asked the boy, "Where did you get that turkey?" The boy replied, "What turkey?" The game warden said, "That turkey you're carrying under your arm." The boy look down and said, "Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!" The game warden said, "Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you. If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him? The little boy said, "I guess I'll kiss his ass and let him go."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Eva After booking my 80-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. The representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision. My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely. "Oh, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, "And will your mother need a rental car?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Use the Crockpot for Stuffing Prepare your favorite stuffing and bake it in your crockpot while the turkey occupies the oven. You can prep this the day before and refrigerate. It is so much easier, tastier and safer than stuffing it into the turkey. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Five top destinations to see the Northern Lights.
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Millie for this story: As a new grandmother, I am very protective of my daughter Meredith's baby girl. One cool afternoon I dropped by to see my grandchild. Meredith and a friend had taken little Allison for a walk in her stroller and were just coming up the street. As soon as they reached me, I bent down to admire Allison and, in my fussiest voice, remarked, "Your little head is cold. You should have a hat on." My daughter looked knowingly at her friend and said, "You owe me ten bucks." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Swine Flu ALERT! Everyone should be aware that there is a possibility of another outbreak of swine flu during the next few months. Please be conscious of the indications that you or members of your family may have contracted the Swine Flu Virus. The symptoms associated with this disease are: 1.) Sore throat. 2.) Slight headache. 3.) Moderate to high temperature. 4.) Nausea or upset stomach. 5.) Uncontrollable urge to screw in the mud.

Today October 31 in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the
Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the
Protestant Reformation in Germany. 

1914 The Ottoman Empire (Turkey) joined the Central Powers
(Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Bulgaria). 

1922 Benito Mussolini became prime minister of Italy. 

1926 Magician Harry Houdini died of gangrene and peritonitis
resulting from a ruptured appendix. His appendix had been damaged
twelve days earlier when he had been punched in the stomach by a
student unexpectedly. During a lecture Houdini had commented on
the strength of his stomach muscles and their ability to
withstand hard blows. 

1940 The British air victory in the Battle of Britain prevented
Germany from invading Britain. 

1941 Mount Rushmore was declared complete after 14 years of work.
At the time the 60-foot busts of U.S. Presidents George
Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham
Lincoln were finished. 

1941 The U.S. Navy destroyer Reuben James was torpedoed by a
German submarine near Iceland. The U.S. had not yet entered World
War II. More than 100 men were killed. 

1952 The U.S. detonated its first hydrogen bomb. 

1954 The Algerian National Liberation Front (FLN) began a revolt
against French rule. 

1955 Britain's Princess Margaret announced she would not marry
Royal Air Force Captain Peter Townsend. 

1956 Rear Admiral G.J. Dufek became the first person to land an
airplane at the South Pole. Dufek also became the first person to
set foot on the South Pole. 

1959 Lee Harvey Oswald, a former U.S. Marine from Fort Worth, TX,
announced that he would never return to the U.S. At the time he
was in Moscow, Russia. 

1961 In the Soviet Union, the body of Joseph Stalin was removed
from Lenin's Tomb where it was on public display. 

1968 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered a halt to all U.S.
bombing of North Vietnam. 

1969 Wal-Mart Discount City stores were incorporated as Wal-Mart
Stores, Inc. 

1981 Antigua and Barbuda became independent of Great Britain. 

1983 The U.S. Defense Department acknowledged that during the
U.S. led invasion of Grenada, that a U.S. Navy plane had
mistakenly bombed a civilian hospital. 

1984 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated near
her residence by two Sikh security guards. Her son, Rajiv, was
sworn in as prime minister. 

1992 In Liberia, it was announced that five American nuns had
been killed near Monrovia. Rebels loyal to Charles Taylor were
blamed for the murders. 

1994 68 people were killed when an American Eagle ATR-72, plunged
into a northern Indiana farm. 

1997 Louise Woodward, British au pair, was sentenced to life in
prison after being convicted of second-degree murder in the death
of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. She was released after her
sentence was reduced to manslaughter. 

1998 Iraq announced that it was halting all dealings with U.N.
arms inspectors. The inspectors were investigating the country's
weapons of mass destruction stemming from Iraq's invasion of
Kuwait in 1990. 

1999 EgyptAir Flight 990 crashed off the coast of Nantucket, MA,
killing all 217 people aboard. 

1999 Leaders from the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran
Church signed the Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of
Justification. The event ended a centuries-old doctrinal dispute
over the nature of faith and salvation. 

2001 Microsoft and the U.S. Justice Department reached a
tentative agreement to settle the antitrust case against the
software company. 

2007 Google shares hit $700 for the first time. 

2008 Distribution Video Audio, Inc. shipped its final shipment of
VHS tapes to stores. The company was the last major United
States
supplier of pre-recorded VHS tapes. 

2018  smiled.


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Location of desktop wallpaper pictures 




Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, October 30

Well, I found the carefully hidden diagnostic center, 
even though I don't have a GPS or a Sillyphone. It is upstairs
from a tattoo parlor and tattoo removal parlor, beside a massage
parlor, and not near a major center.

They didn't do a total stress test like the last outfit I went to
a couple of years ago. They probably lost too many victims.
All they did was make me lie down on a gourney and a recent
import from the Phillipines, who was insecure about her language
skills, -or lack thereof-, and tried to hide that by being rude
and abrupt, used a hydraulic wand to spread some slimey goop on
me.

Whenever I tried to sneak a peek onto the screen, she instantly
hit the screen saver and told me to turn away from there.
I have no idea what her hysterical paranoia was about.
Oh, well. That chore is done.

I had rather looked forward to running till I almost passed out
and then diving onto a cuddly nurse, but I sure would not call
this one cuddly! Medicare is going downhill!


home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Arsenal of weapons found in truck of man 
passed out behind wheel in Florida

______________________________________________________
Today, October 30 in
1938 Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" aired on CBS radio.
The belief that the realistic radio dramatization was a live news
event about a Martian invasion caused panic among listeners. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"You have a business. You didn't build that. Someone else did!" --- Barack Obama (Quoted in 2012) And the most ridiculous gem of wisdom, from the "Mother Superior of STUPID": "We just have to pass Obama's Healthcare Bill to see what's in it." --- Nancy Pelosi (Quoted March in 2010 ) ______________________________________________________ A teenaged boy with spiked hair, nose ring, and baggy clothes says to his friend, "I don't really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from making me go with them to visit Aunt Helen." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Kim Mom was getting swamped with calls from strangers. The reason? A medical billing service had launched an 800 number that was identical to hers. When she called to complain, they told her to get a new number. "I've had mine for twenty years," she pleaded. "Couldn't you change yours?" They refused. So Mom said, "Fine. From now on I'm going to tell everyone who calls that their bill is paid in full." The company got a new number the next day. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ In a cafeteria : "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria." (hand-written underneath) ~ "Socks can eat any place they want." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Goldammer, 32, Miami Beach, Floriduh Arsenal of weapons found in truck of man passed out behind wheel in Florida Police said they could smell alcohol coming from the car and the driver almost fell when they told him to get out of the vehicle. A stockpile of weapons, including loaded handguns and a semi- automatic rifle, was found in the back of a truck after Florida police found the driver passed out behind the wheel. David Goldammer, 32, was arrested after officers found him unconscious in his pickup with the engine running and parked in front of an alley in Miami Beach around 1 a.m. ET on Thursday. David GoldammerDavid GoldammerMiami-Dade Corrections Police said they could smell alcohol coming from the car and Goldammer almost fell when they told him to get out of the vehicle. Two open beer bottles were found in the truck, as well as two loaded handguns. He also had a gun in the waistband of his pants, police said. Officers ordered Goldammer to perform a field sobriety test, but he refused and was taken into custody. A search of his vehicle turned up two more loaded handguns, a semi-automatic rifle, a pocketknife with a swastika on it, a bullet-resistant vest and a large amount of ammunition. Police have not said why Goldammer, from South Dakota, had the stockpile in his car or what he was doing in the area. "What's alarming in this case is that it's the early morning hours, it's Thursday morning, and there's a man asleep at the wheel under the influence of an alcoholic beverage with an arsenal of weapons in his possession," police spokesman Ernesto Rodriguez told NBC affiliate WTVJ. "That is a deadly combination and we need to understand why he was here in Miami Beach, or South Florida for that matter." Goldammer was charged with DUI, openly carrying a weapon and carrying a concealed firearm. From: Carolyn Re: Re-using desktop background Dear Webby. I found a pretty fall picture and made it my desktop picture. I do not remember where I found it. How can I save it when I get ready to put a winter scene on my desktop. (I have a laptop) Thanks P.S. As always, I sure enjoy your newsletter!!! Carolyn/Indiana Dear Carolyn Look in MyPictures I would be wiling to bet that you saved it to there, and that Windows is serving it to the desktop from there. You can even make a screen saver from the pictures that you saved to MyPictures. Just move the ones that are not suitable to a different folder. When you select "SlideShow" as your screen saver, it uses the pictures in that folder. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me and get me a coffee while you are up anyway."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone know what we mean by sins of omission?" A small girl replied, "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but didn't?" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Inexpensive Artwork for Your Walls If you can't afford art prints, find some old calendars with artwork by your favorite artists and take them apart. Place them in a nice dollar store frame or use for a collage. Outdated calendars can be bought for next to nothing. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Five top destinations to see the Northern Lights.
___________________________________________________ >From Ina On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist. The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten great-grandchildren in Boston. Then she inquired what I did for a living. I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free professional advice. Instead she sat back and said, "If there's anything you want to know, just ask me." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
The greatest thing in this world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Today October 30 in
1817 The independent government of Venezuela was established by
Simon Bolivar. 

1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton
County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave
uprising in American history. 

1875 The constitution of Missouri was ratified by popular vote. 

1893 The U.S. Senate gave final approval to repeal the Sherman
Silver Purchase Act of 1890. 

1894 The time clock was patented by Daniel M. Cooper of
Rochester, NY. 

1938 Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" aired on CBS radio.
The belief that the realistic radio dramatization was a live news
event about a Martian invasion caused panic among listeners. 

1943 In Moscow, a declaration was signed by the Governments of
the Soviet Union, the United Kingdom, the United States and China
called for an early establishment of an international
organization to maintain peace and security. The goal was
supported on December 1, 1943, at a meeting in Teheran. 

1945 The U.S. government announced the end of shoe rationing. 

1953 General George C. Marshall was awarded the Nobel Peace
Prize. 

1961 The Soviet Union tested a hydrogen bomb with a force of
approximately 58 megatons. 

1961 The Soviet Party Congress unanimously approved an order to
remove Joseph Stalin's body from Lenin's tomb. 

1972 U.S. President Richard Nixon approved legislation to
increase Social Security spending by $5.3 billion. 

1972 In Illinois, 45 people were killed when two trains collided
on Chicago's south side. 

1975 Prince Juan Carlos assumed power in Spain as dictator
Francisco Franco was near death. 

1975 The New York Daily News ran the headline "Ford to City: Drop
Dead." The headline came a day after U.S. President Gerald R.
Ford said he would veto any proposed federal bailout of New York
City. 

1982 Portugal's constitution was revised for the first time since
it was ratified on April 25, 1976. 

1984 In Poland, police found the body of kidnapped pro-Solidarity
priest Father Jerry Popieluszko. His death was blamed on four
security officers. 

1989 Mitsubishi Estate Company announced it would buy 51 percent
of Rockefeller Group Inc. of New York. 

1993 Martin Fettman, America's first veterinarian in space,
performed the world's first animal dissections in space, while
aboard the space shuttle Columbia. 

1993 The United Nations deadline concerning ousted Haitian
President Jean-Bertrand Aristide passed with country's military
still in control. 

1995 Federalists prevailed over separatists in Quebec in a
referendum concerning secession from the federation of Canada. 

1998 The terrorist who hijacked a Turkish Airlines plane and the
39 people on board were killed when anti-terrorist squads raided
the plane. 

2018  smiled.


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Cooling a modern laptop 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, October 29

Today I have to drive to Calgary for Cardio-Diagnostics,
whatever that is. Could be anything from MRI to running on an
inclined treadmill with EKG electrodes attached, and with senior
nurses frowning at me when I don't fall off the treadmill and
onto them. Hmmm, maybe I should fake a fall and find out?

I'll find out and tell you tomorrow.

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


South Carolina dopey woman goes nuts

______________________________________________________
Today, October 29 in
1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S. 
to prepare for WWII.
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"You don't need God anymore; you have us Democrats." --- Nancy Pelosi (Quoted in 2006) "Paying taxes is voluntary." --- Sen. Harry Reid Al Capone was sent to jail not for bootlegging or racketeering, but for tax evasion. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Our college just completed a new three-story building. While walking down a hall on the second floor, I overheard two students say, "I really like the skylights on the third floor." "Me too," remarked the second student. "I don't know why they didn't just put some on the second floor too." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Also from Sandie: My violin teacher was teaching a large group class. She showed them her violin and said, "This violin was made in the early 1800s." Someone in the class raised their hand and asked, "Did they make it specially for you?" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Arnie for this story: I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on business class. During the return flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in a vomit bag. After the plane landed I got up to leave and a stewardess approached me. She asked, "Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that for you?" I said, "No thanks, I'm saving it for my kids." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Cameo Louise Luchka, 26, Hanahan, South Carolina South Carolina dopey woman goes nuts A threesome went terribly wrong Monday night when a South Carolina woman high on meth and heroin allegedly attempted to bite off the genitals of a male with whom she was trysting, police report. Cops were summoned around 9:30 PM on October 22 to an apartment complex in Hanahan, a city about 15 miles north of Charleston. A 911 caller reported an assault “where the female attempted to bite off” his penis. Upon arriving at the residence, cops spotted “a naked white female on hands and knees” crawling into a hallway. The woman, covered in blood, ignored police commands to stop moving and was “charging toward the Officers,” according to a Hanahan Police Department report. The woman, cops noted, had “already threatened to bite off [the victim’s] penis as well.” When the suspect continued to advance on officers, a patrolman “engaged his taser on the female,” as first reported by WCSC’s Harve Jacobs. The suspect, identified as Cameo Louise Luchka, 26, told police that she had used heroin and methamphetamine that evening. Luchka later struggled with cops as they sought to place her on a gurney, and “barked, growled, and hissed” at police. The victim, Steven Norton, 31, told cops that he and another man were having sex with Luchka when she “started passing out from drug use.” Norton said that he then asked Luchka (seen above) to leave his apartment, but she refused. Norton said that Luchka began throwing items at him and threatened to “bite his dick off.” Norton said that Luchka struck him above the right eye with a glass object, “causing a gash.” Before calling 911, Norton recalled, he struck Luchka “several times with his fists.” Norton told police that “if Luchka went to the hospital, he would not pursue charges.” Luchka was transported to a North Charleston hospital, while Norton was treated for injuries at a Charleston hospital. While cops have classified the incident as an aggravated assault, investigators are still reviewing the matter and no arrest has been made, according to Police From: Dani Re: Cooling a laptop Good Morning Webby. I know you have probably answered this question before, but since I didn't have a laptop I didn't pay attention to your advise. Now I have a laptop and I am wondering what is the best way to keep it cool. Thank you as always for your expert advise. A Webby Fan, Dani Dear Dani That depends entirely on the laptop. Some suck the cooling air from the bottom, some from the side, and some even through the keyboard. They all tell you in the manual, and what part you should not obstruct. Most modern laptops don't produce as much heat as they used to, even ten years ago. Unless you have a very expensive, high powered game machine, I would not worry about it, but before you heave the manual into storage, have a peek. It usually tells you. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A stewardess approached a gentleman who was voicing his complains rather loudly. "Yes, Sir?" "I want to complain about this airline. Every time I fly, I get the same seat, I can't see the in-flight movie, and there are no window blinds, so I can't sleep." "Captain, shut up and pretend to be busy. "
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A lady came to the hospital to visit a friend. She had not been in a hospital for several years and felt very ignorant about all the new technology. A technician followed her onto the elevator, wheeling a large, intimidating looking machine with tubes and wires and dials. "Boy, would I hate to be hooked up to that thing," she said. "So would I," replied the technician. "It's a floor-cleaning machine." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Silverware Line a pan with aluminum foil, fill it with water, add 1 Tbsp. of baking soda for each 2 cups. Heat to boiling and remove from heat. Add silver then rinse and polish them lightly. The foil attracts the tarnish so make sure the silver touches the foil. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Mind blowing Halloween pumpkins!
___________________________________________________ In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur." The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular wine, but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary. "Could you please spell that?" she asked. "You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e". ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Two priests were talking together and the older one said to the younger, "You know, when you came into church with all your new ideas, I had questions about how you were going to fit in and how well your ideas were going to work." "When you wanted to put bucket seats down in the front two rows of seats, I had my doubts. But now, at every mass, the seats are filled up with young people, so I have to agree that it was a good idea." "Then, when you wanted to jazz up the choir and we started singing newer, peppier songs, I was afraid it would offend the parishioners. Now, we have a lot of new, younger choir members, and the music seems to pick up the services a lot more than the old music. So, once again I have to agree that you were right! "But when you wanted to put in the drive-through confessional, I have to admit I thought you'd lost it. But now, at least, there are more people coming to confession than ever. I think you've come up with another good idea." "However, the neon sign out front that says, 'Toot 'n tell or go to hell', has got to go!

Today October 29 in
1618 Sir Walter Raleigh was beheaded under a sentence that had
been brought against him 15 years earlier for conspiracy against
King James I. 

1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be an
independent commonwealth. 

1682 William Penn landed at what is now Chester, PA. He was the
founder of Pennsylvania. 

1863 The International Committee of the Red Cross was founded. 

1901 Leon Czolgosz, the assassin of U.S. President McKinley, was
electrocuted. 

1923 Turkey formally became a republic after the dissolution of
the Ottoman Empire. The first president was Mustafa Kemal, later
known as Kemal Ataturk. 

1929 America's Great Depression began with the crash of the Wall
Street stock market. 

1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S. to
prepare for WWII. 

1945 The first ballpoint pens to be made commercially went on
sale at Gimbels Department Store in New York at the price of
$12.50 each. 

1956 Israel invaded Egypt's Sinai Peninsula during the Suez Canal
Crisis. 

1959 General Mills became the first corporation to use close-
circuit television. 

1960 Muhammad Ali (Cassius Clay) won his first professional
fight. 

1966 The National Organization for Women was founded. 

1969 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered an immediate end to all
school segregation. 

1973 O.J. Simpson, of the Buffalo Bills, set two NFL records. He
carried the ball 39 times and he ran 157 yards putting him over
1,000 yards at the seventh game of the season. 

1974 U.S. President Gerald Ford signed a new law forbidding
discrimination in credit applications on the basis of sex or
marital status 

1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to hold Saddam Hussein's
regime liable for human rights abuses and war damages during its
occupation of Kuwait. 

1991 The U.S. Galileo spacecraft became the first to visit an
asteroid (Gaspra). 

1991 Trade sanctions were imposed on Haiti by the U.S. to
pressure the new leaders to restore the ousted President Jean-
Bertrand Aristide to power. 

1992 Depo Provera, a contraceptive, was approved by the Food and
Drug Administration. 

1998 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off with John Glenn on
board. Glenn was 77 years old. In 1962 he became the first
American to orbit the Earth. 

1998 The oldest known copy of Archimedes' work sold for $2
million at a New York auction. 

2001 KTLA broadcasted the first coast to coast HDTV network
telecast. 

2014 The smartwatch Microsoft Band was released

2018  smiled.


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Forward and Back via bottom Status line 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, October 28

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


British woman claimed her fake blow-job-lips
stopped her from blowing police breathalyser

______________________________________________________
Today, October 28 in
1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"I invented the Internet." --- Al Gore "America is, is no longer, uh, what it, uh, could be, uh, what it was once was, uh, and I say to myself, uh, I don't want that future, uh, for my children." --- Barack Obama "I have campaigned in all 57 states." --- Barack Obama (Quoted in 2008) ______________________________________________________ RULES OF THE OFFICE ** If it rings, put it on hold; ** If it clanks, call the repairman; ** If it whistles, ignore it; ** If it's a friend, take a break; ** If it's the boss, look busy; ** If it talks, take notes; ** If it's handwritten, type it; ** If it's typed, copy it; ** If it's copied, file it; ** If it's Friday, forget it! ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sunday School Bloopers: Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals. Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like Delilah. Sampson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father. The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. Moses died before he ever reached the UK. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the biblical times. Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. When the three wise guys from the East Side arrived, they found Jesus in the manager. Jesus was born because Mary had an emaculate contraption. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Mrs. Morris Siegel beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf Goodman's, pointed to white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said, "Hey Sonny boy, so how much the dress on that store dummy over there is?" "That dress is $899.95, Madam," sneered the rather snooty salesman. "Oy! For $99.95 I could get the same dress at Klein's Bargain Store downtown!" "But Madam," said the salesman, "You'll find that the dress at Klein's is recycled wool. This original is 100% pure virgin wool." "Nu! So for $800 I should be caring what the sheep at night do?" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Scarlett Harrison, 20, Manchester, England British woman claimed her fake blow-job-lips stopped her from blowing police breathalyser Scarlett Harrison, 20, was found to be over the limit when she was stopped in Manchester city centre after drinking Pink Gins with a friend she fell out with. When at the police station she was asked to provide a second, more accurate sample but she said her collagen implants made it difficult to get her mouth around the tube. Harrison, who has appeared in Ex On The Beach and has just returned from a summer in Ibiza, tried to blow four times before saying ‘my lips are too big’. As a result she was charged with failing to provide a breath sample and tried to avoid conviction by saying she was unable to blow for ‘medical reasons’. Harrison, the daughter of an engineering business owner, pleaded guilty on the day her trial was due to start. The court heard that she pulled over on June 20 in her Mini One in a taxi rank outside Piccadilly train station. She has been banned from driving for 16 months and ordered to pay £310 in fines and costs. Prosecutor Neil White said: ‘When the officers went over to speak to her, they could smell alcohol on her breath and so conducted a roadside breath test. ‘She was over the limit so she was taken to the police station. At the station, they informed her about going through to the intoximeter room and proceeded to discuss the demeanour of the defendant and how she now felt. ‘She tried to go through with it and attempted to blow four times. She told them she was anxious and nervous and when asked by the police officer if there was any reason why she couldn’t provide a sample, she said her lips were too big and she couldn’t blow into it. ‘They asked if she had any medical conditions or health conditions that could stop her doing so and she said: “No, just my lips”.’ Her lawyer Matthew Wallace said: ‘Along with the current trend, she has collagen implants in her lips which is something that caused her due difficulty in forming a seal around the tube. He added: ‘She is currently out of work, she arrived back from working abroad in Ibiza week ago. She is due to start work at a local restaurant once it opens, she is just awaiting a starting date. She lives with her parents. She is ordinarily employed. Her father sold the car the day after her arrest. Apparently he did not believe her BS. From: Bobbi Re: Forward and Back via bottom Status line Dear Webby I have IE on my computer. There were forward and back arrows at the bottom of each e-mail message that you could use to go to the next message, or back. Now they have suddenly disappeared. I have to go to the top of each message after reading it to use the arrow up there to go on to the next message. So far, IE help has been no help, telling me that this feature is cuurently not available. it was there 4 days ago. What gives? Thanks, Bobbi Dear Bobbi That must be a Hotmail feature, not a browser feature. I have never seen it on IE. Check in the Hotmail preferences. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Two contafiters way up nort in Chicargo wuz makin sum contafit money an dey accidently made sum twelve dollar bill by mistake. Dey made a whole bunch of dem before dey foun dere mistake, so insted of startin over dey decide to try to pass dem off. Dey always herd how backward people in Louisiana wuz, especially dem folks name Boudreaux frum down neer Lafayette so dey jumpin dere car an drive down to Lafayette, LA an wen dey got dere dey look in da fone book an shore enuf dey fine Boudreaux's General Store an Mercantile listed rite dere in da yeller pages. Dey went to Boudreaux's store an walk up to da man at da counter. Da firs contafiter say, "Are you Mr. Boudreaux?" Boudreaux say, "Mais shore, dat's me. Wat can Ah do fa you fellers?" Da contafiter wisper to his frien, "This is gonna be easier than I thought." Da contafiter say, "Can you give us change for a twelve dollar bill?" Boudreaux say, "Mais shore Ah can! How you want dat, tree fores, fore trees, or 2 sixes?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A ThirdAger is getting his annual physical when the doctor notices several dark, ugly bruises on the man's shins. "Do you play hockey, soccer or another physical sport?" the doctor asks. "No," says the man. "I play bridge with my wife." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Less Wrinkles: Hang Dresses and Suits Quickly Hang your jacket up when you get home to reduce wrinkles. The heat from your body helps ease the wrinkles out of the garment as it hangs. The same goes for dresses. Also make sure clothing is not packed too tightly in the closet, or they will develop wrinkles in the closet. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Castles right out of fairy tales.
___________________________________________________ The CEO was scheduled to speak at an important convention, so he asked one of his employees to write him a punchy, 20-minute speech. When the CEO returned from the big event, he was furious. "What's the idea of writing me an hour-long speech?" he demanded to know. "Half the audience walked out before I finished." The employee was baffled. "I wrote you a 20-minute speech," he replied. "I also gave you the two extra copies you asked for." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
An hysterical mother phones the family's pediatrician with an emergency. "Doctor," she says, "I was writing a letter when my two-year-old came along, grabbed my fancy fountain pen and swallowed it. What should I do?" "Don't panic, I'll be right over," says the doctor. "In the meantime, what are you doing?" he asks. "I'm using a pencil."

Today October 28 in
1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts. The original
name was Court of Massachusetts Bay Colony. It was the first
school of higher education in America. 

1776 The Battle of White Plains took place during the American
Revolutionary War. 

1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin. 

1886 The Statue of Liberty was dedicated in New York Harbor by
U.S. President Cleveland. The statue weighs 225 tons and is 152
feet tall. It was originally known as "Liberty Enlightening the
World." 

1904 The St. Louis Police Department became the first to use
fingerprinting. 

1919 The U.S. Congress enacted the Volstead Act, also known as
the National Prohibition Act. Prohibition was repealed in 1933
with the passing of the 21st Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. 

1922 Benito Mussolini took control of the Italian government and
introduced fascism to Italy. 

1940 During World War II, Italy invaded Greece. 

1962 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev informed the U.S. that he
had ordered the dismantling of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 

1965 Pope Paul VI issued a decree absolving Jews of collective
guilt for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. 

1965 The Gateway Arch along the waterfront in St. Louis, MO, was
completed. 

1976 John D. Erlichman, a former aide to U.S. President Richard
Nixon, entered a federal prison camp in Safford, AZ, to begin
serving his sentence for Watergate-related convictions. 

1983 The U.S. vetoed a U.N. Security Council resolution "deeply
deploring" the ongoing U.S.-led invasion of Grenada. 

1985 John A. Walker Jr. and his son, Michael Lance Walker, pled
guilty to charges of spying for the Soviet Union. 

1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French manufacturer that produces the
abortion pill RU486, announced it would resume distribution of
the drug after the government of France demanded it do so. 

1990 Iraq announced that it was halting gasoline rationing. 

1993 Ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, called for
a complete blockade of Haiti to force out the military leaders. 

1994 U.S. President Clinton visited Kuwait and implied that all
the troops there would be home by Christmas. 

1996 The Dow Jones Industial Average gained a record 337.17
points (or 5%). The day before the Dow had dropped 554.26 points
(or 7%). 

2018  smiled.


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Deleting old Windows updates 




Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, October 27

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 


Man tasered by police for refusing 
to stop having sex with car exhaust

______________________________________________________
Today, October 27 in
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the 
first Quakers to be executed in America. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"My fear is if North Korea nukes us, Trump is gonna get us into a war." --- Maxine Waters.......2017 "We are all born ignorant, but one must work very hard to remain STUPID!" --- Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790) ______________________________________________________ Q: How do we know that the democrats sent themselves bombs? A: None of them worked. ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Millie We purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared. One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up. "For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The personnel manager was impressing the applicant with the prospective job. "We make parts for microscopes. You'll be required to work with lenses that are a hundreths of an inch thick." "I can handle it," the applicant said, "I used to slice meat in a delicatessen, I can slice ham so thin it is kosher." ______________________________________________________ Trash Passing is illegal in 'Bama _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by Moe An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ryan Scott Malek, 24, Newton, Kansas Man tasered by police for refusing to stop having sex with car exhaust Ryan Scott Malek's was four times the legal alcohol limit when police found him in a questionable position with a parked car on May 1. Officers tried to get him to stop, but persistent Malek, from Newton, Kansas, US, kept going. Court documents show Ryan Scott Malek was charged for lewd and lascivious behaviour Malek was reportedly 'oblivious' to what he was doing, so police decided to Taser him, according to the Smoking Gun. It appears Malek had an audience of six other witnesses watching him at the time, court documents revealed. The 24-year-old was taken to hospital and given a chance to sober up. He later pleaded guilty to lewd and lascivious behaviour and was put on probation for one year. According to police arrest logs, Malek was arrested for aggravated assault and use of a deadly weapon in February. From: Martin Re: Deleting Windows Updates Dear Webby Just thought of a question that would maybe be of help to others for once. Is it necessary to keep all of the Windows updates, or can some be safely deleted after a time? I have a bunch of them and can't see holding on to all of them, taking up disk space if so. Thanks, Martin Dear Martin Are you talking about UPDATES, or are you referring to Update UNINSTALL files? The UNINSTALL files are a waste of space and it is safe to delete them. The purpose of those Windows Update uninstall files is being a safety net, just in case an update is too haywire and can't be patched with a further update, and you need to uninstall it. However, Microsoft software writers are building their job security on their ability to patch the patched patches. The only Update, that was so bad, that it was necessary to uninstall it, is IE. If you are paranoid, keep the uninstall files a week, and get rid of the old ones. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
>From Linda When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!" "I know," answered the young man. "I already got that side."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From Jocelyn When my 3-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not pleased. I turned to Mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" Mom smiled and then replied, "Oh, I remember!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Making Your To-Do List Fun When your "To Do" List seems overwhelming, sit down and write FIVE THINGS on a small slip of paper. Mix up small and large tasks with one "reward" thrown in. This is now your "Flash List", do all 5 things before stopping, right in a row, in the order you have written them to WIN! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Well....this is certainly a different desert house.
___________________________________________________ Eva went to a store to buy some insecticide. "Is this good for beetles?" she asked the clerk. "No," he replied. "It'll kill 'em." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
My friend Monica is an accomplished harpist, who frequently plays for weddings, reception, parties, and other such events. She is also blond and has an appropriately cherubic face. She was on her way to an engagement at a hotel, and stepped into an elevator with her large golden harp. Just before the doors closed, a distinguished gray- haired man stepped on. As the elevator rose, he looked thoughtfully first at her and then her harp and asked, "And just how far up are you going?"

Today October 27 in
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the first
Quakers to be executed in America. 

1787 The first of the Federalist Papers were published in the New
York Independent. The series of 85 essays, written by Alexander
Hamilton, James Madison and John Jay, were published under the
pen name "Publius." 

1795 The United States and Spain signed the Treaty of San
Lorenzo. The treaty is also known as "Pinckney's Treaty." 

1858 Roland Macy opened Macy's Department Store in New York City.
It was Macy's eighth business adventure, the other seven failed. 

1878 The Manhattan Savings Bank in New York City was robbed of
over $3,000,000. The robbery was credited to George "Western"
Leslie even though there was not enough evidence to convict him,
only two of his associates were convicted. 

1904 The New York subway system officially opened. It was the
first rapid-transit subway system in America. 

1925 Fred Waller received a patent for water skis. 

1927 The first newsreel featuring sound was released in New York.


1931 Chuhei Numbu of Japan set a long jump record at 26' 2 1/4". 

1938 Du Pont announced "nylon" as the new name for its new
synthetic yarn. 

1947 "You Bet Your Life," the radio show starring Grouch Marx,
premiered on ABC. It was later shown on NBC television. 

1954 Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were divorced. They had been
married on January 14, 1954. 

1962 The Soviet Union adds to the Cuban Missile Crisis by calling
for the dismantling of U.S. missile basis in Turkey. U.S.
President Kennedy agreed to the new aspect of the agreement. 

1978 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister
Menachem Begin were named winners of the Nobel Peace Prize for
their progress toward achieving a Middle East accord. 

1994 The U.S. Justice Department announced that the U.S. prison
population had exceeded one million for the first time in
American history. 

1997 The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped 554.26 points. The
stock market was shut down for the first time since the 1981
assassination attempt on U.S. President Reagan. 

2002 Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva was elected president of Brazil in
a runoff. He was the country's first elected leftist leader. 

2003 Bank of America Corp. announced it had agreed to buy
FleetBoston Financial Corp. The deal created the second largest
banking company in the U.S.

2018  smiled.


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ScreenSavers 




Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, October 26
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

DeLand man arrested for stealing over 
$50,000 in airplane parts, fuel

______________________________________________________
Today, October 26 in
1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile
canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of
$7,602,000. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Steven Wright (1955 - ) I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty. --- Nancy Reagan (1921 - ) ______________________________________________________ "What am I supposed to do with this?" grumbled a motorist as the cop handed him a speeding ticket. "Keep it," the cop said, "when you collect four of them you get to buy a bicycle." ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The thunder god went for a ride, upon his favorite filly. "I'm Thor," he cried. The horse replied, "You forgot your thaddle, thilly." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The young lady walked over to the hospital room where she knew her friend was. "May I see Irving, please?" she asked the woman blocking the door. "We don't allow anyone but relatives to see the patients," replied the woman. "Are you a member of the family?" "Why-er-why, yes. I'm his sister," said the lady. "Oh, I'm so glad to meet you," said the woman. "I'm his mother!" ______________________________________________________ Noella's Swan, Bolivar, MO _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joseph Lippo, 60, DeLand, Florida DeLand man arrested for stealing over $50,000 in airplane parts, fuel A DeLand aviation business owner is accused of stripping parts from planes in order to sell them and replacing them with older parts. According to the DeLand Police Department, multiple airplane owners have been victims of the scheme. Joseph Lippo, 60, was arrested Wednesday on charges of theft of more than $10,000 from a person 65 or older and grand theft. Police said Lippo removed parts, including radios, a compass and a battery from two planes and charged the planes' owners for replacements. Lippo is also accused of stealing fuel and a life raft from one of the planes and charging the owner for repairs that police said were never performed. One of Lippo's former employees told police the suspect regularly instructed him to remove parts and fuel from the plane stored at Lippo's hangar. Officers said the parts Lippo allegedly stole appeared for resale at a consignment store in Fort Lauderdale and on Craigslist. The total cost of everything stolen is over $50,000, according to a news release. The release states the cost of the repairs that were never performed appears to equal "tens of thousands of dollars." Lippo was released from the Volusia County Jail on bond Thursday morning. He declined to comment. From: Trish Re: Screen Saver Dear Webby It occurred to me that I don't have a 'screen saver' on. I don't know if it's best to have it on or not to, I'm sure some other readers would be interested to know. I did look at the 'clock screensavers', downloaded the mickey mouse one (or all of them for all I know), it did appear after whatever time I have screen saver on for but after half an hour or so the screen went black as it usually is when I leave my computer on. Is this the 'power saving thing happening' or what? I really am not sure why one should have a 'screen saver', does it 'save the screen' or what, "please explain". Think I read once that they just take up space on the computer. Not talking about the desktop picture, just screen saver and why if you put one on the thing goes black after a short while anyway. Thanks if you can answer this. Regards to you and yours, Trish Dear Trish The screensaver makes sure that you don't burn the default desktop into the screen. With today's monitors that is not so common, but I remember when I was a mobile computer tech and taking care of the government computers in the Yukon, and seeing all the 10 inch greenie monitors clearly showing the IBM DisplayWrite 4 menu, even when turned off. A moving picture prevents that from happening. Another reason for screen savers is so that the monitor does not show your Solitaire game or Farmville or Space Wars when you are running off to get coffee. The reason your monitor eventually turns off is not because it gets tired of amusing the dust bunnies, but to reduce your electricity bill. You can set the length of time it burns electricity, after you finish doing anything on it, in the power options. A modern monitor burns very little electricity and produces very little heat. However, over the course of a year, it does amount to a noticeable amount of cash. I would recommend to set the power option for the monitor to about 2 minutes. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A man and woman are having marriage problems, and decide to end their union after a very short time together. After a most brief attempt to reconcile, the couple goes to court to finalize their break-up. The judge asks the husband, "What has brought you to the point that you are now at, where you are not able to keep this marriage together?" The husband says, "In the six weeks we've been together, we haven't been able to agree on one thing." The wife interrupts with a correction: "Six and a half weeks!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The US has succeeded in building a computer able to solve any strategic or tactical problem. Military leaders are assembled in front of the new machine and instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it. They describe a hypothetical situation to the computer and then ask the pivotal question: Attack or Retreat? The computer hums away for an hour and then comes up with the answer: YES. The generals look at each other, somewhat stupefied. Finally one of them submits a second request to the computer: YES WHAT? Instantly the computer responded: YES SIR. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Reduce Water In Toilet Tank Place a jug or bottle filled with water and rocks in your toilet tank to reduce the amount of water used with each flush. Don't use bricks because they will dissolve over time. Make sure that all of the workings inside the tank are not hampered. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Well....this is certainly a different desert house.
___________________________________________________ A group of cannibals are hired for programming. Their manager told them, you are doing good work, but please, don't touch your collegues and eat them. We have a canteen, you can eat there. Ok, so the cannibals promised. After 6 Weeks, the manager spoke to them again: Ok we are satisfied with your work and everything, and you are behaving very well. By the way, we are missing a cleaning woman, has somebody touched her? The cannibals denied. After he left, the chief of the cannibals asks "Who is the idiot who ate that cleaning women?" One of the cannibals admitted that he did. Are you out of your mind? For six weeks now have been eating VP's and Senior managers and nobody is taking notice. How can you be so stupid as to eat a working person? ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Larry goes to see his travel agent. "Hey Larry, going away on holiday again?" "Yes, but I need to ask for something different." "Go ahead ask me." "You know last year you suggested Hawaii and when I returned my wife was pregnant." "Yes, but. . ." "And the year before you suggested Bermuda and when I returned my wife was pregnant." "Yes, but. . ." "And the year before that I went to Bali and when I returned my wife was pregnant." "Yes." "Well! Could you suggest something cheaper this year so that I can bring her with me and keep an eye on her?"

Today October 26 in
1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile
canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of
$7,602,000. 

1858 H.E. Smith patented the rotary-motion washing machine. 

1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone, AZ.
The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and Doc
Holiday against the Ike Clanton Gang. 

1905 Norway gained independence from Sweden. 

1942 The U.S. ship Hornet was sunk in the Battle of Santa Cruz
during World War II. 

1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf ended. The
battle was won by American forces and brought the end of the
Pacific phase of World War II into sight. 

1949 U.S. President Harry Truman raised the minimum wage from 40
to 75 cents an hour. 

1951 Winston Churchill became the prime minister of Great
Britain. 

1958 Pan American Airways flew its first Boeing 707 jetliner from
New York City to Paris. 

1962 The Soviet Union made an offer to end the Cuban Missile
Crisis by taking their missile bases out of Cuba if the U.S.
agreed to not invade Cuba and would remove Jupiter missiles in
Turkey. 

1967 The Shah of Iran crowned himself and his Queen after 26
years on the Peacock Throne. 

1972 U.S. National security adviser Henry Kissinger declared,
"Peace is at hand" in Vietnam. 

1977 The experimental space shuttle Enterprise successfully
landed at Edwards Air Force Base in California. 

1979 South Korean President Park Chung-hee was shot to death by
Kim Jae-kyu, the head of the Korean Central Intelligence Agency. 

1980 Israeli President Yitzhak Navon became the first Israeli -
head of state to visit Egypt. 

1984 "Baby Fae" was given the heart of a baboon after being born
with a severe heart defect. She lived for 21 days with the animal
heart. 

1985 Approximately 110,000 people marched past the U.S. and
Soviet embassies in London to pressure the two countries to end
their arms race. 

1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French pharmaceutical company, announced it
was halting the worldwide distribution of RU-486. The pill is
used to induce abortions. The French government made the company
reverse itself two days later. 

1988 Two whales were freed by Soviet and American icebreakers.
The whales had been trapped for nearly 3 weeks in an Arctic ice
pack. 

1990 The U.S. State Department issued a warning that terrorists
could be planning an attack on a passenger ship or aircraft. 

1990 Wayne Gretzky became the first NHL player to reach 2,000
points. 

1991 Former Washington Mayor Marion Barry arrived at a federal
correctional institution in Petersburg, VA, to begin serving a
six-month sentence for cocaine possession. 

1992 General Motors Corp. Chairman Robert Stempel resigned after
the company recorded its highest losses in history. 

1992 In Canada, voters rejected the Charlottetown accord, which
was designed to unify the country. 

1993 Deborah Gore Dean was convicted of 12 felony counts of
defrauding the U.S. government and lying to the U.S. Congress.
Dean was a central figure in the Reagan-era HUD scandal. 

1994 Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin of Israel and Prime Minister
Abdel Salam Majali of Jordan signed a peace treaty. 

1995 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 500th
National Hockey League (NHL) career goal against the New York
Islanders in his 605th game. He became the second-fastest player
to attain the plateau. Wayne Gretzky had reached 600 goals by his
575th NHL game. 

1996 Federal prosecutors cleared Richard Jewell as a suspect in
the Olympic park bombing. 

1998 A French lab found a nerve agent on an Iraqi missile
warhead. 

2001 It was announced that Fort Worth's Lockheed Martin won a
defense contract for $200 billion over 40 years. The contract,
for the "joint strike fighter," was the largest defense contract
in history. 

2002 Russian authorities pumped a gas into a theater where
separatist rebels held over 800 hostages. The gas killed 116
hostages and all 50 hostage-takers were killed by the gas or
gunshot wounds.

2018  smiled.


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Inkjet or Laser? 





Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, October 25

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.


Liberal students in Arizona State University majoring in
Wimpology claim they got PTSD because of Hillary losing the
election and Trump being President.                              


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Woman shoots grandson for repeatedly
putting cup of tea on her good furniture

______________________________________________________
Today, October 25 in
1955 The microwave oven, for home use, was introduced 
by The Tappan Company.
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh at it. --- Bill Nye ______________________________________________________ Two priests and a rabbi are playing poker in the park. Suddenly, a police officer approaches the trio and asks the first priest, "Father, were you gambling?" The padre glances skyward and mumbles, "Forgive me, Jesus," then turns to the officer and says, "No, my son, I was not gambling." The lawman then turns to the second priest and asks him if he was gambling. The priest looks toward Heaven and says under his breath, "Forgive me, Jesus," then tells the officer, "No, my son, I was not gambling." The policeman then turns to the rabbi and says, "Rabbi, were you gambling?" The rabbi looks from one priest to the other, then turns to the officer and asks, "With who?" ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Minister at a funeral service, "Friends, let us say goodbye to our beloved, departed friend. Let us remember that here lies only the shell--the nut has gone!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ >From Lise When we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically that my sons make their beds each morning. I left for work before they left for school, and I wanted to be sure that the house looked presentable when the agent showed it to prospective buyers. I was surprised and impressed that my 15-year-old son's bed was perfectly made each day. One night when I went into his room, I discovered his secret. He was fast asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by Judy An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Helen Washington, 75, Brooklyn Center, Minnesota Woman shoots grandson for repeatedly putting cup of tea on her good furniture A Brooklyn Center woman faces assault charges after she allegedly shot her grandson in a dispute over a teacup. According to a report in the Star Tribune, 75-year-old Helen Washington shot the victim when he placed the cup on her furniture. She warned him not to put the cup there, and dumped the tea out. He got another cup of tea and again put it on the furniture. That's when she allegedly pulled out a gun and shot her grandson. She now faces second-degree assault charges. The incident happened Oct. 12 at Washington's Brooklyn Center home. The victim was shot in the thigh. She told police that she doesn't think she deserves to go to jail, according to the report. She has been released from Hennepin County Jail and is expected to make a court appearance in December. The real bonehead, though, is the grandson. From: Fran Re: Ink or Laser printer Dear Webby I know, you answered this years ago, but I forgot. What kind of printer should I get this time? I basically just print copies of bills I pay online. Thanks Fran Dear Fran If you don't print at least 3 times per week, you get ripped off with the drying out ink jets. If you print more than 3 times a week, then you get ripped off with exorbitant ink prices. Get a laser. Since you are just printing invoice receipts, you can get a cheap black laser. Black toner is really cheap and the cartridges last a long time. Laser toner does not dry out. It is already a dry powder. With a Laser you never come home from a vacation to find your printer dried out. A laser takes 10 seconds to warm up before the first print, but after that is much faster than an ink jet printer. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Manning the computer help desk for the local school district was my first job. And though I was just an intern, I took the job very seriously. But not every caller took me seriously. "Can I talk to a real person?" a caller asked. "I am real," I said. "Oh, I'm sorry," the caller said. "That was rude of me. What I meant to say was, could I talk to someone who actually knows something?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words: Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought my windows were down but I found out it was up when I put my head through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother- in-law and headed over the embankment. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprange up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car. I had been driving for 40 years when I feel asleep at the wheel and had an accident. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run so I ran over him. I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the hood of my car. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck my front end. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Thanksgiving Preparation One week prior, I buy all the canned goods, clean out the fridge, and start thawing the turkey. The day prior, I make most of the side dishes, desserts, and make one final grocery run. Then all I have to do on Thanksgiving is make the turkey. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
A breathtaking flower tunnel bursting with beautiful golden blossoms in Wales.
___________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this report: When I was a newly commissioned Lieutenant in the Army, I was assigned as a temporary assistant in an administrative office in a Military Intelligence unit. One day, a long memo came around with a cover sheet instructing all assigned officers to read it and initial it as indication of their compliance. I figured it meant me too, so I read and initialed it. But, a few days later, it came back addressed specifically to me. An attached note read, "You are not permanently assigned to this unit and are thus not an authorized signee. Please erase your initials and initial your erasure." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue. Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home.

Today October 25 in
1415 In Northern France, England won the Battle of Agincourt over
France during the Hundred Years' War. Almost 6000 Frenchmen were
killed while fewer than 400 were lost by the English. 

1812 During the War of 1812, the U.S. frigate United States
captured the British vessel Macedonian. 

1854 The Charge of the Light Brigade took place during the
Crimean War. The British were winning the Battle of Balaclava
when Lord James Cardigan received an order to attack the
Russians. He took his troops into a valley and suffered 40
percent caualties. Later it was revealed that the order was the
result of confusion and was not given intentionally. 

1870 The first U.S. trademark was given. The recipient was the
Averill Chemical Paint Company of New York City. 

1917 The Bolsheviks (Communists) under Vladimir Ilyich Lenin
seized power in Russia. 

1929 Alber B. Fall, of U.S. President Harding's cabinet, was
found guilty of taking a bribe. He was sentenced to a year in
prison and fined $100,000. 

1951 In Panmunjom, peace talks concerning the Korean War resumed
after 63 days. 

1955 The microwave oven, for home use, was introduced by The
Tappan Company. 

1958 U.S. Marines withdrew from Beirut, Lebanon. They had been
sent in on July 25, 1958, to protect the nation's pro-Western
government. 

1960 The Accutron watch by the Bulova Watch Company was
introduced. 

1962 U.S. Ambassador Adlai Stevenson presented photographic
evidence to the United Nations Security Council. The photos were
of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 

1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and admit
mainland China. 

1983 U.S. troops and soldiers from six Caribbean nations invaded
Grenada to restore order and provide protection to U.S. citizens
after a recent coup within Grenada's Communist (pro-Cuban)
government. 

1990 It was announced by U.S. Defense Secretary Dick Cheney that
the Pentagon was planning to send 100,000 more troops to Saudi
Arabia. 

2000 AT&T Corp. announced that it would restructure into a family
of four separately traded companies (consumer, business,
broadband and wireless). 

2001 It was announced that scientists had unearthed the remains
of an ancient crocodile which lived 110 million years ago. The
animal, found in Gadoufaoua, Niger, grew as long as 40 feet and
weighed as much as eight metric tons. 

2018  smiled.


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Nigerian Scams 




Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, October 24

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Alabama mother charged after 5 children 
test positive for cocaine

______________________________________________________
Today, October 24 in
1939 Nylon stockings were sold to the public 
for the first time in Wilmington, DE. 
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. --- Garrison Keillor (1942 - ) ______________________________________________________5 Dear Ma and Pa: Am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for old man Minch. Tell them to join up quick before all the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m.( but am getting so I like to sleep late. All you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things -- no hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. The guys have to shave, but they say it is not bad in warm water, and after I thumped a few of them, they don't tell nobody about why I don't need to shave. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, beef, ham steak, fried eggplant, pie and regular food, but you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till noon, when you get fed. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches," which, the Sgt. says, are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is a casual stroll about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys all get sore feet and we ride back in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat. The Sgt. is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Kernels. and Generals just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why, the bull's-eye is near big as a chipmonk and don't move and it ain't shooting at you, like the Higsett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it, you don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes. Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer and Mary to hurry and join before others get onto this setup and come stampeding in. Your loving daughter, Pat ________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Installation Commander and his wife were out having dinner at the officers club a good-looking blonde came over and open-mouth kissed the husband right in front of the wife and said "I'll see you tomorrow for a nooner right sweetie?" And walked away. The wife couldn't believe her eyes, "Who was that?" She demanded. He replied: "My mistress" The wife then told her husband she wanted a divorce. "That's fine," Said the base commander. "But that means no more shopping at the commissary and base exchange, no more assignments in Europe, and you'll no longer be president of the Officer's Wives Club, and won't be able to lord it over the other wives." At that moment in walked a colonel with a woman on his arm. When the wife asked who the woman with the colonel was the base commander said, "That's Peter's mistress" The wife looked back at colonel and his mistress and grinned, "Ours is prettier." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Great Comeback This has got to be the all-time classic comeback. This is a recount of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who's about to sponsor a boy scout troop visiting his military installation. (Note: While this has been presented as a "true story" for several years, some people dispute that it actually happened). FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?" GENERAL REINWALD: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting." FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?" GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range." FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?" GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how, ....we will be teaching them proper rifle range discipline before they ever touch a firearm." FEMALE INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers." GENERAL REINWALD: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you? The radio went silent and the interview ended. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Darlene Mullen wore the stolen jacket when she arrived at court to be sentenced for other shoplifting charges Darlene Mullen,26, from Perth, Scotland Woman arrested for stealing Primark coat on her way to shoplifting court case A shoplifter has been arrested after she stole a coat from Primark on her way to court. Darlene Mullen from Perth, Scotland, was wearing the stolen jacket when she arrived at court to be sentenced for other shoplifting charges. The 26-year-old was caught on camera asking staff at the court to help her remove the security tag from the coat. Solicitor David Holmes, defending Darlene, asked Perth Sheriff Court to give her a community sentence and said she was on the right track and was dealing with her criminal behaviour. But Sheriff Lindsay Foulis said: ‘Let me stop you right there. She was supposed to be here at 10am on 19 September to be sentenced by my brother sheriff for shoplifting. ‘At 10.25am she stopped off on her way here to steal a coat from Primark. You can hardly tell me that is her being on the right track.’ He said he had no option but to jail Darlene after she admitted stopping off to steal the coat from Primark after being caught cold during Storm Ali last month. She had already been spotted on CCTV and was recognised by her distinctive red wellington boots before she was arrested on the court steps. The court was told last month that she was unable to appear because she had been arrested a short time before her case called. She then appeared from custody and admitted stealing clothing from Primark on 19 September, while she was on bail. She also admitted being in possession five wraps of heroin worth around £100 when she was arrested. Fiscal depute Carol Whyte told the court: ‘The item was valued at £25.. When the accused was arrested at court she was wearing the jacket. ‘Although it was not in a re-saleable condition, I doubt she still has it.’ Co-accused Natalie Radunski, 22, also appeared from custody alongside Darlene and admitted stealing items of clothing from Primark. A court source said: ‘It takes some nerve to stop off on the way to court to steal a jacket because you haven’t dressed warm enough to cope with the storm. ‘It was absolutely tipping down when they arrived at court and Darlene hadn’t even taken the label and price tag off the jacket she had stolen. “To hand the tags over to the security staff on the door at the court might not have been the brightest idea she ever had. ‘There was already an alert out for her after she was spotted leaving Primark and her bright red wellies made it pretty easy for the police to identify her.’ Natalie, also of Nimmo Place, Perth, was jailed for four months yesterday. From: Eric Re: Nigerian Scams Dear Webby I can't believe that people are still falling for these Nigerian Scams. Do you recommend forwarding them to the FTC as well as getting them over to Spam Cop? Eric Dear Eric They still fall for Hillary too. And Pelosi. FTC is a total waste of time. They pick one or two celebrity cases a year, and with all the other complaints they just make pretty graphs. SpamCop is sometimes effective, in that they complain to the ISP of the sender. Some ISPs stomp on them. They come onto Facebook too, and claim to have some good news for you. Whenever you see that phrase "good news" or that you have won, or that there is money for you, dump and block. They all promise something ridiculous, but first you have to sign up with their "lawyer" and pay a fee. The technical term is 419 (advance fee). Totally illegal. But since the crooks are hiding in Nigeria, not much happens to them. I read that 39% of the Nigerian GDP is from 419 scams. Just dump and block. No point wasting time on them. Have FUN! DearWebby

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Murals Inlet, S.C., bills itself as the "Seafood Capital of South Carolina." It has so many seafood restaurants that it is hard to decide which one to choose. My wife and I were trying to do just that when we came upon, of all things, a steakhouse. It seemed busy, perhaps because it had adapted to its environment. A sign out front read: "Catch of the Day -- COW!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I'm a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for visually impaired adults. Many participants have a condition known as macular degeneration, which makes it difficult for them to distinguish facial features. I had just been assigned to a new group and was introducing myself. Knowing that many in the group would not be able to see me well, I jokingly said, "For those of you who can't see me, I've been told that I look like a cross between Paul Newman and Robert Redford." Immediately, one woman called out, "We're not THAT blind!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Make Your Own Chip Bags Rather than buy the more expensive little bags, just buy a large bag and transfer them to smaller bags yourself. This works well for school and work lunches and dieting. Large bags of chips tend to be much cheaper than the smaller pre-packaged alternative. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Barkcloth, a fabric made from Fig trees.
___________________________________________________ A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, "when did you bag him?" The host said, "that was three years ago, when I went hunting with my wife and her mother." "What's he stuffed with?" asked the visiting hunter. "My mother-in-law" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A guy took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into a secluded area around midnight, the girl said, "My mother told me to say no to everything." "Well," he said, "do you mind if I put my arm around you?" "Uhhh . . . no," the girl replied. "Do you mind if I put my other hand on your leg?" "N-n-no," the girl stammered. "You know," Barry said, "We're going to have a lot of fun if you're on the level about this."

Today October 24 in
1648 The Holy Roman Empire was effectively destroyed by the Peace
of Westphalia that brought an end to the Thirty Years War. 

1795 The country of Poland was divided up between Austria,
Prussia, and Russia. 

1836 Alonzo D. Phillips received a patent for the phosphorous
friction safety match. 

1861 The first transcontinental telegraph message was sent when
Justice Stephen J. Field of California transmitted a telegram to
U.S. President Lincoln. 

1901 Daredevil Anna Edson Taylor became the first person to go
over Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. She was 63 years old. 

1929 In the U.S., investors dumped more than 13 million shares on
the stock market. The day is known as "Black Tuesday." 

1931 The upper level of the George Washington Bridge opened for
traffic between New York and New Jersey. 

1939 Nylon stockings were sold to the public for the first time
in Wilmington, DE. 

1940 In the U.S., the 40-hour workweek went into effect under the
Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938. 

1945 The United Nations (UN) was formally established less than a
month after the end of World War II. 

1948 The term "cold war" was used for the first time. It was in a
speech by Bernard Baruch before the Senate War Investigating
Committee. 

1960 All remaining American-owned property in Cuba was
nationalized. The process of nationalizing all U.S. and foreign-
owned property in Cuban had begun on August 6, 1960. That act did
not go over well in the US.

1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, U.S. military forces went
on the highest alert in the postwar era in preparation for a
possible full-scale war with the Soviet Union. The U.S. blockade
of Cuba officially began on this day. 

1969 Richard Burton bought his wife Elizabeth Taylor a 69-carat
Cartier diamond ring for $1.5 million. Burton presented the ring
to Taylor several days later. 

1986 Britain broke off relations with Syria after a Jordanian was
convicted in an attempted bombing. The evidence in the trial led
to the belief that Syria was involved in the attack on the
Israeli jetliner. 

1992 The Toronto Blue Jays became the first non-U.S. team to win
the World Series. 

2001 The U.S. House of Representatives approved legislation that
gave police the power to secretly search homes, tap all of a
person's telephone conversation and track people's use of the
Internet. 

2001 The U.S. stamp "United We Stand" was dedicated. 

2001 NASA's 2001 Mars Odyssey spacecraft successfully entered
orbit around Mars. 

2002 Microsoft Corp. and Walt Disney Co. announced the release of
an upgraded MSN Internet service with Disney content. 

2003 In London, the last commercial supersonic Concorde flight
landed.

2018  smiled.


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Pictures in wrong format 




Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, October 23

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Man ate Tide Pod then destroyed $7,500 
of hospital equipment

______________________________________________________
Today, October 23 in
1929 In the U.S., the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged
starting the stock-market crash that began the Great Depression.
 More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) CNN is one of the participants in the war. I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected president but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. --- Arthur C. Clarke Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather. --- Michael Pritchard ______________________________________________________ "Hubby Pie" Can be prepared 20 years ahead. Ingredients: Crust: 1 hard-skinned hubby 1 comfortable sofa Filling: 1 TV remote control 6 pack of beer 1 packet chips (crisps) 1 family size pizza 1 large serve nacho 1 melted cheese sandwich 15 years patience lifetime of loving care 1 ounce of resignation Method: Cram one thick-skinned hubby into a well worn greased and comfortable sofa and leave to set (probably will take length of one sport show), remove from family room and bring to kitchen to finish filling. Mix TV remote control, chip packet, pizza, hotdog, nachos and cheese sandwich on a large tray. Add six pack of beer slowly (to avoid excess gas), bind with a lot of patience, loving care and resignation. Be careful to place hubby and filling carefully back in front of the TV so as not to disturb the view of the screen and leave to solidify indefinitely. Head back to your computer and have a marvellous time chatting with your online friends UNDISTURBED!!! (Or, go SHOPPING!) ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you." Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot, "Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes", said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot, "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller Jesus." (Rottweilers let burglars in and do what they want, but won't let them leave.) _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A new employee joins the Company, and is required to have a password setup for his computer. The boss directed a secretary to setup the password for him. The secretary asks the man for the password. The man, attempting to embrass the secretary in order to show superiority, said, "Penis." Blushed, the secretary, who knew what to expect, typed the password Penis, and re-typed it again. Then she hit enter. The whole office heard the secretary bursting out screaming laughters as a reaction from the computer's screen: "Password rejected. Reason: Too short" ______________________________________________________ Pennsylvania _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Justin Foster, 28, Tallahassee Florida Florida man accused of flying to Illinois, cutting off penis of ex's new boyfriend A Tallahassee man was jailed in Illinois and held on a $1 million bond after he reportedly flew to Chicago to confront the new boyfriend of his ex-girlfriend, the Chicago Tribune reported. Justin Foster, 28, is charged with attempted murder. He reportedly went to Atlanta and caught a flight to Chicago, where he rented a car and located a man who is allegedly dating Foster's ex-girlfriend. Foster is accused of hitting the man over the head with a tire iron before carving his initials into the man's leg. He then cut off the man's penis and threw it over a fence before leaving him in a pool of blood. The man survived, news outlets reported, but is left with permanent brain damage. A prosecutor was quoted in the Tribune and argued against granting bond to Foster: “We’re talking about a very heinous crime here," Assistant State’s Attorney Luis Muniz said. "A monetary bond is not appropriate.” From: Fred Re: Pictures saved in wrong format Dear Webby Quick question--- When ever I right click and save as--- to a gif- it comes up as save as a bitmap-- Whats up with that??? Im using hot mail. Fred Dear Fred That is a sign that you don't have enough free and unused memory available for Windows to do it properly, so, in order not to completely lose the file, it saves it as a BMP. Running CrapClener or rebooting usually restores enough free memory so that it will again save pictures properly. Have FUN! DearWebby

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1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or no? 2. How many birthdays does the average man have? 3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28? 4. How many outs are there in an inning? 5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister. 6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get? 7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with? 8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half an hour. How long will the pills last? 9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left? 10. How many animals of each sex did Moses bring with him on the ark? 11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh? 12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen? 13. What was the President's name in 1960? =============================================== So how do you think you did in that quiz? Here are the answers.... 1. Is there a 4th of July in England? Yes or No? Yes. It comes right after the 3rd. 2. How many birthdays does the average man have? One (1). You can only be born once. 3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28? Twelve (12). All of them have at least 28 days. 4. How many outs are there in an inning? Six (6). Don't forget there is a top and bottom to every inning. 5. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? No. If she is a widow, he is dead. 6. Take the number 30, divide it by 1/2, and then add 10. What do you get? Seventy (70). Thirty (30) divided by 1/2 is 60. 7. There are 3 apples and you take two away. How many apples are you left with? Two (2). You take two apples...therefore, YOU have TWO apples. 8. A doctor gives you three pills and tells you to take one every half and hour. How long will the pills last? One hour. If you take the first pill at 1:00, the second at 1:30, and the third at 2:00, the pills have run out and only an hour has passed. 9. A farmer has 17 sheep. All but 9 of them die. How many sheep are left? Nine (9). like I said, all BUT nine die. 10. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on his ark? None. I didn't know that Moses had an ark. 11. A butcher in the market is 5' 10" tall. What does he weigh? Meat...that is self-explanatory. 12. How many 2 cent stamps are there in a dozen? Twelve (12). How many eggs are in a dozen? TWELVE...it's a dozen! 13. What was the President's name in 1960? Donald Trump. As far as I know, he hasn't changed his name.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. "Why do we have to learn this stuff?" one young man blurted out. "To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture. A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word and then continued. "Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Keeping Brown Sugar Soft Cleaning Walls Use a long handled sponge mop to clean your walls. It makes it easier to reach the high parts of your walls and it also can be used on ceilings. Be careful using a sponge mop on thick, popcorn textured ceilings or rough wall surfaces. It will quickly tear up the sponge. You have to protect everything with drop sheets (cheap plastic from paint supply stores). Then you can use a pressure washer and thoroughly clean textured ceilings. Pressure washers usually have a soap admixture tank, that you can fill with dish soap and set the strength, for example 2 drops per gallon. You can rent pressure washers at Home Depot and even some grocery stores. Have FUN! DearWebby Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
I'll bet she's popular at Halloween!
___________________________________________________ In one epsiode of "Cheers", Cliff is seated at the bar describing the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here it is, for your enjoyment: "Well, you see Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the heard is hunted, it is the lowest and weakest onles at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and heald of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, Norm, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A sergeant was passing the barracks after lights out, when he heard some voices from inside. He slammed open the door, and screamed: Listen, you guys! A few minutes ago, you all heard me say good night. What you must realize, is that when I say "Good Night," what I really mean is "Shut up!!!" The room instantly fell silent. But after a few seconds, a small voice could be heard from somewhere in the far back of the dark room: "Good Night, Sergeant"

Today October 23 in
1864 During the U.S. Civil War, Union forces led by Gen. Samuel
R. Curtis defeated the Confederate forces in Missouri that were
under Gen. Stirling Price. 

1910 Blanche S. Scott became the first American woman to make a
public solo airplane flight in the United States. 

1915 Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to vote with a
march in New York City, NY. 

1929 In the U.S., the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged
starting the stock-market crash that began the Great Depression. 

1942 During World War II, the British began a major offensive
against Axis forces at El Alamein, Egypt. 

1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf began. 

1946 The United Nations General Assembly convened in New York for
the first time. 

1956 Hungarian citizens began an uprising against Soviet
occupation. On November 4, 1956 Soviet forces enter Hungary and
eventually suppress the uprising. 

1956 NBC broadcasted the first videotape recording. The tape of
Jonathan Winters was seen coast to coast in the U.S. 

1958 Russian poet and novelist Boris Pasternak was awarded the
Nobel Prize for literature. He was forced to refuse the honor due
to negative Soviet reaction. Pasternak won the award for writing
"Dr. Zhivago". 

1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, the U.S. naval "quarantine"
of Cuba was approved by the Council of the Organization of
American States (OAS). 

1962 The U.S. Navy reconnaissance squadron VFP-62 began
overflights of Cuba under the code name "Blue Moon." 

1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and seat
Communist China. 

1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon agreed to turn over the
subpoenaed tapes concerning the Watergate affair. 

1978 China and Japan formally ended four decades of hostility
when they exchanged treaty ratifications. 

1985 U.S. President Reagan arrived in New York to address the
U.N. General Assembly. 

1989 Hungary became an independent republic, after 33 years of
Soviet rule. 

1992 Japanese Emperor Akihito became the first Japanese emperor
to stand on Chinese soil. 

1995 Russian President Boris Yeltsin and U.S. President Bill
Clinton agree to a joint peacekeeping effort in the war-torn
Bosnia. 

1998 Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian
Chairman Yasser Arafat reach a breakthrough in a land-for-peace
West Bank accord. 

1998 Japan nationalized its first bank since World War II. 

2000 Universal Studios Consumer Products Group (USCPG) and Amblin
Entertainment announced an unprecedented and exclusive three-year
worldwide merchandising program with Toys "R" Us, Inc. The deal
was for the rights to exclusive "E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial"
merchandise starting in fall 2001. The film was scheduled for re-
release in the spring of 2002. 

2001 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft began orbiting Mars. In 2010,
it became the longest-operating spacecraft ever sent to Mars. 

2018  smiled.


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Crap Cleaner and AdAware 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, October 22

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Man ate Tide Pod then destroyed $7,500 
of hospital equipment

______________________________________________________
Today, October 22 in
1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded 
parachute jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Rob Delaney, Twitter People with courage and character always seem sinister to the rest. --- Hermann Hesse (1877 - 1962) When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. --- Japanese Proverb ______________________________________________________ Pete and Gladys were looking at a new living room suite in the furniture store. Pete said to the salesman, "We really like it, but I don't think we can afford it." The salesman said, "You just make a small down payment, and then you don't make another payment for six months." Gladys wheeled around with her hands on her hips and said, "Who told you about us?" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon." Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for them a couple of days ago." Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she asked about?" "Rapes in the parking lot." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Vickey for this story: According to my mother, she and my dad decided to start a family soon after he became an officer in the Air Force. When months went by without success, they consulted the base physician, who chose to examine my mom right then and there. "Please disrobe," he told her. "With him in the room?" she yelled, pointing to my father. Turning to my dad, the doctor said, "Captain, I think I found the problem." ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brandon McVay, 26, Council Bluffs, Iowa. Man ate Tide Pod then destroyed $7,500 of hospital equipment A man ate a Tide Pod then destroyed $7,500 worth of hospital equipment during an ‘out of control’ hospital rampage, court documents say. Brandon McVay, 26, began ‘yelling loudly’ while smashing four computer screens during treatment for swallowing the detergent capsule at Mercy Hospital in Council Bluffs, Ia., it is claimed. His alleged spree of destruction began while hospital staff were treating him on October 4, and saw McVay trash both his own hospital room and a hallway, police say. McVay was finally brought under control when police arrived at the hospital, pinned him to the ground and placed him under arrest, the Omaha World Herald reported. A police report noted that the building was strewn with smashed computer equipment and debris. McVay was charged with second-degree criminal mischief and has been freed on $5,000 bail.
From: Carolyn Re: Crap Cleaner and Ad Aware Dear Webby I run Ad-aware once a week. If I install Crap Cleaner will I have a problem? Seem like some programs are not compatible with it. Thanks- you are always helpful!!! Carolyn Dear Carolyn Should be no problem at all. They go after totally different things and Crap Cleaner exits cleanly after doing it's work. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Kate goes over to visit one of her friends. While she is at her friend's house it starts to rain very heavily. Her friend tells her to spend the night at her house and go home the next day. When she hears this, Kate rushes out the door and comes a while later totally drenched and carrying a small shopping bag. So her friend asks "Where did you run off too?" "I went home to get my pajamas!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
>From today, 18 years ago: The two major party presidential candidates today agreed that Americans are seeing too much inappropriate material in popular entertainment. However, they disagreed on the details. The Republican candidate, George W. Bush, stated that there is too much bloody violence in the movies and on television. Vice President Al Gore, his Democratic opponent, stated meanwhile that the media present Americans with too much sex and frontal nudity. In other words, Bush says there is too much gore and Gore says there is too much bush. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Keeping Brown Sugar Soft Here is my tip for keeping brown sugar moist. Use marshmallows! You can use bread, but bread gets moldy and then you have to replace it. Not so with marshmallows! By Elaine S. from near Cedar Rapids, IA Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Hearst Castle,the unbelievably opulent home built for an infamous newspaperman.
___________________________________________________ The software engineering field is staffed primarily by men; the ratio of male to female software engineers is on the order of 15 to 1. This makes it pretty easy for women to find potential mates among their peers. However, software types have a well-earned reputation for being... a little strange. While discussing the prospect of working in the software industry, one woman commented to another: "The odds are good, but the goods are odd." One look at W10 would convince anybody that she has a point! ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Cajun Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day an he done run outa night crawlers. He be bout reddy to leave when he seen a snake wit a big frog in his mouf. He knowed dat dem big bass fish like frogs, so he decided to steal dat froggie. Dat snake, he be a cotton moufed water moccasin so he had to be real careful or he'd get bit. He snuk up behine de snake and grabbed him roun de haid. Dat ole snake din't lak dat one bit. He squirmed and wrapped hisself roun Boudreaux's arm try'n to get hisself free. But Boudreaux, him, had a real good grip on his haid, yeh. Well, Boudreaux pried his mouf open and got de frog and puts it in his baitcan. Now, Boudreaux knows dat he cain't let go dat snake or his gonna bite him good, but he had a plan. He reach into de back pocket of his bib overhauls and pulls out a pint a moonshine likker. He pour some drops into de snakes mouf. Well, dat snake's eyeballs roll back in his haid and his body go limp. Wit dat Boudreaux toss dat snake into de bayou. Den he goes back to fishin'. A while later Boudreaux dun feel sumpin tappin' on his barefoot toe. He slowly look down and dare dat water moccasin was with two more frogs.

Today October 22 in
1746 The College of New Jersey was officially chartered. It later
became known as Princeton University. 

1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute
jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet. 

1836 Sam Houston was inaugurated as the first constitutionally
elected president of the Republic of Texas. 

1844 This day is recognized as "The Great Disappointment" among
those who practiced Millerism. The world was expected to come to
an end according to the followers of William Miller. 

1879 Thomas Edison conducted his first successful experiment with
a high-resistance carbon filament. 

1907 The Panic of 1907 began when depositors began withdrawing
money from many New York banks. 

1939 The first televised pro football game was telecast from New
York. Brooklyn defeated Philadelphia 23-14. 

1954 The Federal Republic of Germany was invited to join the
North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). 

1962 U.S. President Kennedy went on radio and television to
inform the United States about his order to send U.S. forces to
blockade Cuba. The blockade was in response to the discovery of
Soviet missile bases on the island. 

1968 Apollo 7 splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean. The spacecraft
had orbited the Earth 163 times. 

1975 Air Force Technical Sergeant Leonard Matlovich was
discharged after publicly declaring his homosexuality. His
tombstone reads " "A gay Vietnam Veteran. When I was in the
military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge
for loving one." 

1979 The ousted Shah of Iran, Mohammad Riza Pahlavi was allowed
into the U.S. for medical treatment. He had originally been
installed in Iran by the CIA, but eventually fell out of favor.

1981 The Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization was
decertified by the federal government for its strike the previous
August. 

1983 At the Augusta National Golf Course in Georgia, an armed man
crashed a truck through front gates and demanded to speak with
U.S. President Ronald Reagan. 

1986 U.S. President Reagan signed the Tax Reform Act of 1986 into
law. 

1991 The European Community and the European Free Trade
Association agreed to create a free trade zone of 19 nations by
the year 1993. 

1998 Pakistan's carpet weaving industry announced that they would
begin to phase out child labor. 

1999 China ended its first-ever human rights conference in which
it defied Western definitions of civil liberties. 

2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 million applications
downloaded. 

2010 The Internation Space Station set the record (3641 days) for
the longest continuous human occupation of space. It had been
continously inhabited since November 2, 2000.

2018  smiled.


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Filter to get rid of foreign spam 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, October 21

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

South Carolina teen accused of shooting 
at road sign, accidentally killing a Marine 
on his front porch

______________________________________________________
Today, October 21 in
1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words 
per minute on a manual typewriter. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
People might not get all they work for in this world, but they must certainly work for all they get. --- Frederick Douglass (1817 - 1895) ______________________________________________________ "Look at ME!" boasted the fit old man to a group of young people. "Every morning I do fifty push-ups, do fifty sit-ups, and walk two miles. I'm fit as a fiddle! And you want to know why? I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay up late, and I don't chase after women!" He smiled at them, teeth white, eyes glittering, "And tomorrow, I'm going to celebrate my 95th birthday!" "Oh, really?" drawled one of the young onlookers, "How?" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ He loved living in Staten Island, but he wasn't crazy about the ferry. Miss a ferry late at night, and you have to spend the next hour or so wandering the deserted streets of lower Manhattan. So when he spotted a ferry no more than fifteen feet from the dock, he decided he wouldn't subject himself to an hour's wait. He made a running leap and landed on his hands and knees, a little bruised maybe, but safe on deck. He got up, brushed himself off, and announced proudly to a bystander, "Well, I made that one, didn't I?' "Sure did," the bystander said. "But you should have waited a minute. The ferry is just about to dock." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ On a recent evening a family sat in a darkened theater waiting to see the latest hit movie. As the screen lit up with a flashy ad for the theater's concession stand, they noticed the sound was missing. The unexpected silence continued for several moments. Then out of the darkness, an irritated voice in the crowd demanded, "Okay, who's siting on the remote?" ______________________________________________________ Senators at the dump road If you want to see thousands of them, go to "Council Flats" in Haines, Alaska. They snag dead salmon drifting down the river, fly up to some tree and eat it, then sit there waiting until it is digested, then they go get another salmon. With a Million salmon going up river to spawn and die, you can watch that for 3 - 4 weeks. There are lots of bears there too. They grab live salmon heading up river. You can take pictures from safe pull-outs on the Haines Road. It is maybe not too late to reserve a hotel room for October 2021. _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Eason Reid Gravley, 17, Greenwood County, South Carolina South Carolina teen accused of shooting at road sign, accidentally killing Marine on his front porch A South Carolina teenager is accused of firing a gun at a road sign and accidentally shooting and killing a Marine on his porch. The State newspaper reported 17-year-old Eason Reid Gravley faces charges of involuntary manslaughter and possession of a handgun in connection to the death of 48-year-old Joe Darius Black. The suspect allegedly fired the gun at about 11:30 p.m. Wednesday in Greenwood County, fatally hitting the victim in the chest. The bullet “passed through or by the road sign” and into a wooded area near Black’s home, according to deputies. Black leaves behind a wife and four children. He retired from the U.S. Marine Corps after serving 20 years.
From: Coral Re: Need a filter for foreign spam Dear Webby That trick was slick! It catches 2-3 spams every single download, and never a false alarm like with those long and convoluted ones from those paid subscriptions! I love it! Got any more gems like that? I need one for catching Russian or Asian spam. Coral Dear Coral Glad you like it! OK, here is another one like that: I call it base64 Mark for blacklisting Mark for Deleting On Process ANY rules If the Entire header -- contains -- base64 If the Entire header -- contains -- iso-9959-1 If the body -- contains -- Content-Transfer-Encoding: base64 Keep it red and visible or a month to see if you get any false alarms. I haven't had any false alarms and made it invisible. For those who are new to MailWasher: You can give each filter a long and descriptive name and also a short status name that shows up in the list with the spam that it caught. You can choose the color for the status name. I use different shades of red for new filters that I am still testing and watching, sh*t brown for spam filters that have proven themselves to be reliable, green for friends, so that even if they jokingly use typical spam words, they won't get dumped, and blue for business contacts and subscriptions. You can of course use any of 16 Million colors of your choice, whatever colors make the most sense for you. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
God created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 40 years." The mule answered, "To live like this for 40 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was so. Then God created the dog, and told him, "You will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion. You will eat his table scraps and live for 30 years." And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 30 years as a dog is too much. Please, no more than 15 years." And it was so. God then created the monkey, and told him, "You are Monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like an idiot. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 years." And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, give me no more than 10 years." And it was so. Finally, God created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. You will dominate the earth and live for 20 years." And the man responded, "Lord, to be Man for only 20 years is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected." And it was so. And so God made Man to live 20 years as a man, then marry and live 20 years like a mule working and carrying heavy loads on his back. Then, he is to have children and live 15 years as a dog, guarding his house and eating the leftovers after they empty the pantry; then, in his old age, to live 10 years as a monkey, acting like a clown to amuse his grandchildren.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
**BEEP** You have reached the Breast Cancer Self-Examination Hotline. Press one to continue. (pause) Now, press the other one. **BEEP** ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Shop at Antique Malls or Flea Markets When you are shopping for Christmas, don't overlook antique malls and flea markets. You can find some unique and unusual gifts that you can't find elsewhere (or make yourself) for a variety of prices, even as cheap as a few dollars! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Ontario's Allan Gardens Conservatory
___________________________________________________ A woman comes home one day and says to her dead-beat husband, "Guess what? I've found a great job. A 10 a.m. start, 2 p.m. finish, no over- time, no weekends and it pays $600 a week!" "That's great," her husband says. "Yeah, I thought so, too," she agrees. "You start Monday." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Four mothers were having coffee together discussing (bragging) how important their children are. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into room, everyone calls him 'Father'." The second catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'." The third catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'." The fourth woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well.....?" She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2", hard-bodied, male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, the women say, 'Oh my God'"

Today October 21 in
1797 "Old Ironsides," the U.S. Navy frigate Constitution, was
launched in Boston's harbor. 

1805 The Battle of Trafalgar occurred off the coast of Spain. The
British defeated the French and Spanish fleet. 

1858 The Can-Can was performed for the first time in Paris. 

1879 Thomas Edison invented the electric incandescent lamp. It
would last 13 1/2 hours before it would burn out. 

1917 The first U.S. soldiers entered combat during World War I
near Nancy, France. 

1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words per
minute on a manual typewriter. 

1925 The photoelectric cell was first demonstrated at the
Electric Show in New York City, NY. 

1925 The U.S. Treasury Department announced that it had fined
29,620 people for prohibition (of alcohol) violations. 

1927 In New York City, construction began on the George
Washington Bridge. 

1944 During World War II, the German city of Aachen was reduced
to rubble and captured by U.S. troops. 

1945 Women in France were allowed to vote for the first time. 

1950 Chinese forces invaded Tibet. 

1959 The Guggenheim Museum was opened to the public in New York.
The building was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. 

1967 Thousands of demonstrators marched in Washington, DC, in
opposition to the Vietnam War. 

1983 The Pentagon reported that 2,000 Marines were headed to
Grenada to protect and evacuate Americans living there. 

1986 The U.S. ordered 55 Soviet diplomats to leave. The action
was in reaction to the Soviet Union expelling five American
diplomats. 

1991 Jesse Turner, an American hostage in Lebanon, was released
after nearly five years of being imprisoned. 

1993 The play "The Twilight of the Golds" opened. 

1994 North Korea and the U.S. signed an agreement requiring North
Korea to halt its nuclear program and agree to inspections. 

1998 Cancer specialist Dr. Jane Henney became the FDA's first
female commissioner. 

2003 The U.S. Senate voted to ban what was known as partial birth
abortions. 

2003 North Korea rejected U.S. President George W. Bush's offer
of a written pledge not to attack in exchange for the communist
nation agreeing to end its nuclear weapons program.

2018  smiled.


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When a computer slows down 




Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, October 17

By the time you read this I will have had my October shots
into my eyeballs and will be stumbling around groping walls
and of course any females within reach. 
It is surprising what one can get away with while wearing 
dark glasses at the Eye Center. 
Some even grope back!

That means I won't be sending out newsletters or 
answering mail or Skype for 3 days.

Enjoy your vacation!

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

SC man shot cousin over potato chips

______________________________________________________
Today, October 17 in
1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY. It
was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Two paradoxes are better than one; they may even suggest a solution. --- Edward Teller (1908 - 2003) ______________________________________________________ Masculine, Feminine... Male or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of non- living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples: FREEZER BAGS They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. PHOTOCOPIERS These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons. TIRES Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated. HOT AIR BALLOONS Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt. SPONGES These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water. WEB PAGES Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on. TRAINS Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people. HOURGLASS An hourglass is female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom. HAMMERS Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around. THE REMOTE CONTROL Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Little Johnny's father was a pastor in a small church. One day, his father told Little Johnny that a very important bishop was coming and that he would be staying with them. Little Johnny became very excited and asked his father if he would get to meet him. His father thought about this and decided that he would let Little Johnny bring the bishop tea in the morning and wake him up. Little Johnny agreed to do this and was very excited. His father gave him instructions: first, knock on the door of the bishops room and then say to him "It's the boy, my Lord, it's time to get up." Little Johnny was very excited and rehearsed his lines repeating them over and over. Finally the day came and Little Johnny had learned all his lines. He went to the door and knocked. He was so excited and nervous though that his lines got mixed up and the boy said, "It's the Lord, my boy, and your time is up!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Three paramedics were boasting about improvements in their respective ambulance team's response times. "Since we installed our new satellite navigation system," bragged the first one, "we cut our emergency response time by ten percent." The other paramedics nodded in approval. "Not bad," the second paramedic commented. "But by using a computer model of traffic patterns, we've cut our average ERT by 20 percent." Again, the other team members gave their congratulations, until the third paramedic said, "That's nothing! Since our ambulance driver passed the bar exam, we've cut our emergency response time in half!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Ryan Dean Langdale, 19, Ruffin South Carolina SC man shot cousin over potato chips A South Carolina man was arrested and charged with attempted murder after shooting his cousin over a bag of salt and vinegar potato chips, according to news reports. Authorities in Colleton County took Ryan Dean Langdale, 19, into custody Wednesday after learning the details about the shooting of his 17-year-old cousin on Sept. 29, The Post and Courier reported. The shooting happened in Ruffin about 60 miles west of Charleston. Langdale first told investigators that the victim accidentally shot himself when he dropped a hunting rifle, according to the newspaper. But after undergoing surgery for the gunshot wound, the victim admitted to authorities that Langdale shot him over a bag of chips. “Do not touch my chips, or I’ll shoot you,” Langdale told his cousin, the Post reported, citing a sheriff’s incident report. Langdale then grabbed a rifle, pointed it at the victim and “the rifle went off,” the report said. Langdale was arrested and held on a $55,000 bail, according to the Post. He’s charged with attempted murder, using a firearm in a violent crime and obstructing justice, according to the newspaper. Salt and vinegar potato chips are easy to come by in Colleton County and the victim reportedly told investigators he never actually ate the chips.
From: Denise Re: Computer slowing down Dear Webby My computer slows down whenever I have 3-4 Windows open. I used to be able to have a dozen of then open without a problem. If i don't reboot it when it slows down, it stalls and hangs and I have to shut it off the hard way. I don't think it is infected, since I use Spybot and McAfee. What's the prescribed fix? Denise Dear Denise There seems to be a lot of that going around. Luckily there is an easy remedy. Get CrapCleaner from my tool box at http://webby.com/tools and run it. It is free, and it will make a huge difference. It has helped everybody to whom I recommended it. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
>Fron Eras It was a hectic day of running errands with my wife and son. As if the stress weren't enough, four-year-old Christopher insisted on asking questions about everything, told me how to drive better, and sang every song he knew. Finally, fed up with the incessant chatter, I made him an offer: "Christopher, if you'll be quiet for just a few minutes, I'll give you a quarter." It worked. But when we stopped for lunch, I unknowingly began to harp on him. "Christopher, sit up straight ... don't spill your drink ... don't talk with your mouth full." Finally he said seriously, "Dad, if you'll be quiet for just a few minutes, I'll give you a quarter."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, "How come after all these years we don't see you at services anymore?" The old man lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, Rabbi," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So, I figured that God is very busy and must've forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Cold Weather Bed Tip During cold weather, I put the fitted sheet on as usual then I put a blanket on and tuck it in. Another blanket goes on top of that one and then I proceed with the flat sheet and as many other blankets and quilts as we need. No need for an electric blanket! Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Dazzling Quilts of 19th-Century British Soldiers Are Threaded With Mystery
___________________________________________________ Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!" "That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in the living room and tell me about it." "Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math, and 20 in science." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Hailey, 4, heard a thunderstorm rumbling overhead and asked her parents and grandparents to listen to it. After the thunder stopped, Hailey told everyone to be quiet for a minute and she began to pray and asked God to stop the thunder and lightning. Immediately after she said "Amen," another clap of thunder was heard. Hailey looked up towards heaven and said, "You're not listening!"

Today October 17 in
1739 Thomas Coram was granted a Royal Charter from George II so a
"hospital for the maintenance and education of exposed and
deserted young children" in London, England. 

1777 American troops defeated British forces in Saratoga, NY. It
was the turning point in the American Revolutionary War. 

1888 The first issue of "National Geographic Magazine" was
released at newsstands. 

1931 Al Capone was convicted on income tax evasion and was
sentenced to 11 years in prison. He was released in 1939. 

1933 Dr. Albert Einstein moved to Princeton, NJ, after leaving
Germany. 

1945 Colonel Juan Peron became the dictator of Argentina after
staging a coup in Buenos Aires. 

1973 The Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC)
began an oil-embargo against several countries including the U.S.
and Great Britain. The incident stemmed from Western support of
Israel when Egypt and Syria attacked the nation on October 6,
1973. The embargo lasted until March of 1974. 

1978 U.S. President Carter signed a bill that restored full U.S.
citizenship rights to Confederate President Jefferson Davis. 

1979 Mother Teresa of India was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. 

1987 U.S. First Lady Nancy Reagan underwent a modified radical
mastectomy at Bethesda Naval Hospital in Maryland. 

1989 An earthquake measuring 7.1 on the Richter Scale hit the San
Francisco Bay area in California. The quake caused about 67
deaths, 3,000 injuries, and damages up to $7 billion. 

1994 Israel and Jordan initialed a draft peace treaty. 

1994 The Angolan government and rebels agreed to a peace treaty
that ended their 19 years of civil war. 

1997 The remains of revolutionary Ernesto "Che" Guevara were laid
to rest in his adopted Cuba, 30 years after his execution in
Bolivia. 

2000 In New York City, Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum opened to the
public. The 42nd Street location joined Tussaud's other
exhibitions already in London, Hong Kong, Amsterdam and Las
Vegas. 

2000 Patrick Roy (Colorado Avalanche) achieved his 448th victory
as a goalie in the NHL. Roy passed Terry Sawchuck to become the
record holder for career victories. 

2001 Israel's tourism minister was killed. A radical Palestinian
faction claimed that it had carried out the assassination to
avenge the killing of its leader by Israel 2 months earlier. 

2001 Pakistan placed its armed forces on high alert because of
troop movements by India in the disputed territory of Kashmir.
India said that the movements were part of a normal troop
rotation. 

2001 Italian priest Giuseppe "Beppe" Pierantoni was kidnapped by
the terrorist group the "Pentagon." He was released on April 8,
2002. 

2003 In the U.S., the Food and Drug Administration approved a
drug, known as memantine, to help people with Alzheimer's
symptoms. 

2003 In Taipei, Taiwan, construction crews finished 1,676-foot-
tall-building called Taipei 101. The building was planned to open
for business in 2004. 

2018  smiled.


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DSL speed dropping 




Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, October 16

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Arkansas man ate meth, pot during traffic 
stop and finked on himself

______________________________________________________
Today, October 16 in
1941 The Nazis advanced to within 60 miles of Moscow. Romanians
 entered Odessa, USSR, and began exterminating 150,000 Jews. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Two paradoxes are better than one; they may even suggest a solution. --- Edward Teller (1908 - 2003) ______________________________________________________ Keli: Anni, what exactly is an "oxymoron"? Anni: It's a phrase made up of contradictory terms, like "deafening silence". Keli: Oh, I get it. Like "Mr. Perfect"! ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture." The clerk looked at his picture closely. "It's okay," he reassured the man, "That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Wife: "Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish." Doctor: "Don't worry I can cure him." Wife: "I don't want him cured I want you to adjust him to get the movie channel." ______________________________________________________ The Stump, in the Tetons _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Brian Lee Chadwell, 38, Bella Vista, Arkansas Arkansas Man Ate Meth, Pot During Traffic Stop and finked on himself A Pea Ridge man accused of beating his step-daughter with a spatula was arrested Monday (Oct. 8) after reportedly eating marijuana and methamphetamine during a traffic stop. Brian Lee Chadwell, 38, faces felony charges of two counts of possession of drug paraphernalia and tampering with physical evidence. Bella Vista police stopped Chadwell about 9 p.m. near Tanyard Creek for a broken brake light, according to a probable cause affidavit. Chadwell asked the officers for legal advice regarding a no contact order he’d received for allegedly hitting the girl, then said he’d eaten a small bag of marijuana and meth in order to destroy it, according to the affidavit. Chadwell added that he eats meth to get high, but doesn’t smoke or inject it. Chadwell asked officers to shoot him during processing, saying he was upset with himself. He said officers could say he tried to attack him, according to the affidavit. Chadwell was being held Thursday (Oct. 11) at the Benton County Jail on a $10,000 bond. He has a hearing set for Nov. 19 in Benton County Circuit Court. Chadwell is accused of beating his step-daughter with a spatula, a wooden spoon, and a stick covered in thorns, along with forcing her to sleep on the kitchen floor as punishment. He’s due Nov. 13 in Pea Ridge District Court on a misdemeanor charge of third-degree domestic battery. The girl’s mother, Jennifer Chadwell, was arrested in connection with permitting the abuse of a minor, a Class D felony. The report did not say what the teen required frequent punishment for, bhut she will be the responsibility of Child Services for the foreseeable future.
From: Barb Re: DSL speed dropping Dear Webby At home my connection speed keeps dropping to the point where I actually lose the connection. We use the same DSL provider as I have at work, but there the connection never drops. At home, it's OK when I am browsing, but if I am answering mail, especially if I get interrupted, it falls off. Is there a setting I should check and change? Thanks Barb Dear Barb Big Brother, the ISP, watches your activity, and if you are not really using your connection while you leisurely compose a lengthy email, they reduce your pipe and eventually cut it. They will gradually, and grudgingly, give it back to you when you are ready to send that email. You can use an FTP program that has a "Keep-Alive" feature to keep the connection open, and download three different pieces of music simultaneously when you need the connection again. You can watch how the 14 KB Keep-Alive speed cranks up to over 30 Mbps within a few seconds. You will then be able to use high speed until Big Brother detects that you have abandoned your computer and snuck off to the kitchen. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? Childrens' Views No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it always before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they're rich. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a dumpster.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate... what is two plus two?" The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?" "Did you say 4?!?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right. At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Treat Credit Like Cash Make a commitment to pay as you go with credit cards this year. Don't wait until the last minute to buy gifts and plan your holiday budget carefully. You will feel much better during the holiday season if you aren't accumulating debt. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
What an amazing artist to see the animal spirit in stone and bring it out for the public!
___________________________________________________ I couldn't help overhearing a man at a nearby pay phone. "I know it's something you want," he said earnestly, "but I don't think tattoos are a good idea. And the same goes for body piercing. As long as you're living in my house, I think you should respect my wishes." I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly firmness. Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Mom, you're 75 years old! You don't NEED a tattoo!" ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from all of the refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously, "but it seems to me that I've blessed all this stuff before."

Today October 16 in
1701 The Collegiate School was founded in Killingworth, CT. The
school moved to New Haven in 1745 and changed its name to Yale
College. 

1793 During the French Revolution, Queen Marie Antoinette was
beheaded after being convicted of treason. 

1829 In Boston, MA, the first modern hotel in America opened. The
Tremont Hotel had 170 rooms that rented for $2 a day and included
four meals. 

1859 Abolitionist John Brown led a raid on Harper's Ferry, VA
(now located in West Virginia). 

1869 A hotel in Boston became the first in the U.S. to install
indoor plumbing. 

1916 Margaret Sanger opened the first birth control clinic in New
York City, NY. 

1923 Walt Disney contracted with M.J. Winkler to distribute the
Alice Comedies. This event is recognized as the start of the
Disney Company. 

1928 Marvin Pipkin received a patent for the frosted electric
light bulb. 

1941 The Nazis advanced to within 60 miles of Moscow. Romanians
entered Odessa, USSR, and began exterminating 150,000 Jews. 

1942 The ballet "Rodeo" premiered in New York City. 

1943 Chicago's new subway system was officially opened with a
ribbon cutting ceremony. 

1955 Mrs. Jules Lederer replaced Ruth Crowley in newspapers using
the name Ann Landers. 

1962 U.S. President Kennedy was informed that there were missile
bases in Cuba, beginning the Cuban missile crisis. 

1964 China detonated its first atomic bomb becoming the world's
fifth nuclear power. 

1967 NATO headquarters opened in Brussels. 

1970 Anwar Sadat was elected president of Egypt to succeed Gamal
Abdel Nassar. 

1973 Henry Kissinger and Le Duc Tho were named winners of the
Nobel Peace Prize. The Vietnamese official declined the award. 

1978 Poland's Karol Josef Wojtyla was elected Pope John Paul II. 

1982 China announced that it had successfully fired a ballistic
missile from a submarine. 

1987 Rescuers freed Jessica McClure from the abandoned well that
she had fallen into in Midland, TX. She was trapped for 58 hours.


1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush signed the Gramm-Rudman
budget reduction law that ordered federal programs be cut by
$16.1 billion. 

1993 The U.N. Security Council approved the deployment of U.S.
warships to enforce a blockade on Haiti to increase pressure on
the controlling military leaders. 

1994 German Chancellor Helmut Kohl was re-elected to a fourth
term. 

1997 Charles M. Schulz and his wife Jeannie announced that they
would give $1 million toward the construction of a D-Day memorial
to be placed in Virginia. 

2000 It was announced that Chevron Corp. would be buying Texaco
Inc. for $35 billion. The combined company was called Chevron
Texaco Corp. and became the 4th largest oil company in the world.


2002 It was reported that North Korea had told the U.S. that it
had a secret nuclear weapons program in violation of an 1994
agreement with the U.S. 

2002 The Arthur Andersen accounting firm was sentenced to five
years probation and fined $500,000 for obstructing a federeal
investigation of the energy company Enron. 

2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 billion television
episodes sold.

2018  smiled.


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Using a phone as a scanner 




Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, October 15

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Husband divorces wife after spotting her 
with another man on Google Maps

______________________________________________________
Today, October 15 in
1860 Grace Bedell, 11 years old, wrote a letter to presidential
candidate Abraham Lincoln. The letter stated that Lincoln would
look better if he would grow a beard. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes. --- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004) If you believe everything you read, better not read. --- Japanese Proverb ______________________________________________________ A church was preparing for Christmas services. The pastor decided he wanted a banner made for the entryway and had a parishioner call the sign company. The parishioner told the man on the phone the message he wanted and the dimensions needed for the entryway. The sign came back a few days later... "Unto Mary Jesus was born, six feet long and two feet wide." ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ After my fifth-graders studied the history of the Alamo, I gave them a test with this bonus question: "What was the famous battle cry that later helped spur on independence for Texans?" One student's response: "Remember the alimony!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ The family had spent the day moving from their farmhouse into a new apartment house in town. Very early the next morning, the 5 1/2 -year-old ran into their bedroom to wake them up. Mom dressed him and told him to play and let them rest for a while longer. About 20 minutes later, he came running back."Mommy, Mommy," he exclaimed, "Everybody has doorbells.... and they all work!" ______________________________________________________ Gullible Warming broke! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Divorcee Lima Peru Husband divorces wife after spotting her with another man on Google Maps The man was checking the best way to get to a bridge in the Peruvian capital city of Lima when he spotted a familiar figure, a news agency claims. He saw a woman sitting on a bench stroking the hair of a man who was lying with his head in her lap. He first recognised that the woman’s clothes were identical to those of his wife and then looked closer and realised it was her, according to local media. The photo, taken by a Google camera car, dated back to 2013 but the man confronted his wife with the Google Street View picture as evidence of her infidelity. And the couple, whose names have not been revealed, later divorced after the woman admitted to having had an affair. She was photographed with her lover on a bench by the city’s Puente de los Suspiros de Barranco – Bridge of Sighs of the Ravine. The man recently shared the photographs on Facebook where they made a big impression on users. San Pateste said: ‘What a small world it is… It would have been enough if she said to her husband that she did not love him any more.’ The photograph is one of a long line of bizarre images taken for the Google Maps and Google Street View online resources. They include people dressed as pigeons, an escaped convict, a couple having sex by their car, street robberies, and a woman giving birth.
From: Neil Re: Phone Scanner Dear Webby If Eva has a smart phone she can get a free scanner app from both google play store or a similar one for an I Phone. It will convert the picture to a pdf file suitable for email at no cost. I do this all the time. My scanner sits in the corner collecting dust. Neil Dear Neil Thanks for that info! Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates really well and I just act like I'm listening!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
We have a new kid in the office named Brian. Nice guy. Fresh out of college. So I was asking him about school the other day and he told me he belonged to a fraternity called Delta Upsilon. "Did you pledge in college?" he asked. I said, "Yeah, I belonged to 'I Tappa Kegga.'" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Organizing Email I treat email just like paper and don't let email pile up in my in box. I make sure I file all email into one of the folders I have created. I also create filters that automatically files email from certain people in the appropriate folder. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Photos of dogs enjoying Autumn.
___________________________________________________ A grandmother overheard her 5-year-old granddaughter playing "wedding." The wedding vows went like this: "You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be held against you, you don't have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss gramma." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
After a long day of listening to a Texan brag, a New Yorker decided to show the Texan the Empire State Building. When the Texan put down New York's well-known landmark by saying "Heck, that's nothing. In Texas, we have outhouses bigger than that!" The New Yorker responded, "You need them!"

Today October 15 in
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte began his exile on the remote island of
St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean. 

1860 Grace Bedell, 11 years old, wrote a letter to presidential
candidate Abraham Lincoln. The letter stated that Lincoln would
look better if he would grow a beard. 

1883 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down part of the Civil Rights
Act of 1875. It allowed for individuals and corporations to
discriminate based on race. 

1892 The U.S. government announced that the land in the western
Montana was open to settlers. The 1.8 million acres were bought
from the Crow Indians for 50 cents per acre. 

1945 Pierre Laval, the former premier of Vichy France, was
executed for treason. 

1946 Hermann Goering, a Nazi war criminal and founder of the
Gestapo, poisoned himself just hours before his scheduled
execution. 

1953 "Teahouse of the August Moon" opened on Broadway. It ran for
1,027 performances. 

1964 It was announced that Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev had
been removed from power. He was replaced with Alexei N. Kosygin. 

1983 U.S. Marines killed five snipers who had pinned them down in
Beirut International Airport. 

1984 The Freedom of Information Act was passed. 

1989 South African officials released eight prominent political
prisoners. 

1989 Wayne Gretzky, while playing for the Los Angeles Kings,
surpassed Gordie Howe's NHL scoring record of 1,850 career
points. 

1993 U.S. President Clinton sent warships to enforce trade
sanctions that had been imposed on Haitian military rulers. 

1993 South Africa's President F.W. de Klerk and African National
Congress President Nelson Mandela were named winners of the Nobel
Peace Prize for their efforts to end the apartheid system in
South Africa. 

1997 British Royal Air Force pilot Andy Green broke the land-
speed record by driving a jet-powered car faster than the speed
of sound. 

1997 The Cassini-Huygens mission was launched from Cape
Canaveral, FL. On January 14, 2005, a probe sent back pictures of
Saturn's moon Titan during and after landing. 

1998 The U.N. condemned the U.S. economic embargo on Cuba for the
seventh year in a row. 

2001 NASA's Galileo spacecraft passed within 112 miles of
Jupiter's moon Io. 

2011 Legoland Florida opened in Winter Haven, Florida. 

2018  smiled.


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Cheap scanner 




Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, October 14

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Ontario school teacher charged with 
sexually assaulting 10-year-old boy

______________________________________________________
Today, October 14 in
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman
forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of
England. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going, but I'm on my way. --- Carl Sandburg (1878 - 1967) ______________________________________________________ Every revolutionary idea - in science, politics, art, or whatever - evokes three stages of reaction in a hearer: 1. It is completely impossible - don't waste my time. 2. It is possible, but it is not worth doing. 3. I said it was a good idea all along ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple of hours into a visit with my mother, she noticed I hadn't once lit up a cigarette. "Are you trying to kick the habit?" she asked. "No," I replied. "I have a cold, and I don't smoke when I'm not feeling well." "You know," she observed, "you'd probably live longer if you were sick more often." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ From ghoulies and ghosties and long leggety beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver them to us! ______________________________________________________ Fetch! _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Krystal Wilson, 31 Ajax, Ontario Canadian school teacher charged with sexually assaulting 10-year-old boy Krystal Wilson, 31, was arrested by Canadian police after they investigated allegations made in relation to her job at Da Vinci Public School in Ajax, Ontario. The married teacher is accused of having an inappropriate relationship with a boy while she was teaching there from 2017 – 18, CTV reported. Wilson, who currently works at Roland Michener Public School, in Ajax, faces two counts of sexual assault and two counts of sexual interference. Durham District School Board confirmed a teacher had been put on leave. It said in a statement: ‘The DDSB is cooperating with the Durham Children’s Aid Society and the Durham Regional Police Service during their respective investigations. ‘We will continue to work with our community partners until this investigation is concluded.’ Wilson has worked as a model and singer in the past and has been featured in a promo for a radio station. She previously spoke about her love of teaching and music with website Smart Is So Sexy. Wilson said: ‘I am blessed to be an elementary school teacher. ‘Which allows me to not only impact our youth but share with them my passion for the arts.’ CTV added the teacher may also be known to students as Krystal Clunis and there were reports her singing name was Krystal Voice. Constable George Tudos urged anyone who had information to contact their regional police sexual assault unit. Wilson has been released on bail but as a condition she is not allowed to be in the presence of someone under 14 unless there is an adult aged at least 21 with them.
From: Eva Re: Scanner Dear Webby I need a new scanner. My old one left with my ex. I don't need to scan very often, maybe once every second or third month, just my prescription before faxing it to Costco. I never have to scan color or high res. I do have a Dell color laser printer. What do you recommend, that is just barely good enough but cheap? Eva Dear Eva I would recommend a Canon Pixma MG 3000 series. It is actually a printer combo, but because of their ridiculous ink cost, you would not want to use it for printing after the initial set-up. Because of the ink racket, they almost pay you to take the printer. With some looking around you can find them for under $30. I got one about 6 months ago for under $30 from NewEgg. Shipping included. I printed 2 pages during the setup, and none since. It theoretically communicates with the computer wia WiFi, but in my case it wouldn't do that without a lot of farting around. So I just used a USB cable and connected it to a machine, that had a free USB port. That worked instantly. My ancient 90's PSP communicates with it and scanning anything is easy. It has a scan utility included, but I have not needed it. In PSP I hit ALT Fitq the scan preview pops up, I shorten or adjust the size, and hit the scan button. That is all there is to it. The scan picture then pops up and I can annotate it and fax it. I really doubt that there is a cheaper and easier solution available. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, "Just think, Fred, we are ten dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand." "Good," my dad quickly replied. "Wash it again!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The old town blacksmith realised he couldn't work so hard anymore. He picked out strong young Bill Deville to become his apprentice. The old fellow was impatient and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told Bill, "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard." Bill is looking for a new apprenticeship. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Gas Tip: Change Your Commuting Habits If at all possible, change your work start time to avoid gridlock. Stop and go traffic hurts your gas mileage. Try to arrange car pools with co-workers to share the cost of commuting to work. Walk, bike or use public transportation to your intended location whenever possible. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
Tribes react to Polar Bear clip from BBC's Planet Earth.
___________________________________________________ The Polish were upset because of their bad reputation. A group of them got together and approached a conference of Americans, Germans, and Japanese and asked for help on this matter. An American replied, "You must do something so the world will respect you. The Japanese are known for their technology and the Germans are known for their resourcefulness. We Americans have had respect since we helped win the World War against the other two. See, you need to do something world-famous." A German added, "Yes, he's right. Why don't you find a place in this world in need of a bridge that no one has dared build, build it, come back to us, and we will help publicize it." With that, the Polish set off to build their bridge. They designed it and worked six months and finally completed it. They then went back to report it to the group. The bridge was a beautiful bridge but it had one flaw: it was erected in the middle of the Sahara Desert. An American said, "No, no. See, that is why you have your reputation. There is no need for a bridge in the middle of the desert. Now go and dismantle it, and find a more strategic spot to erect it." The Polish returned to the conference in two weeks. One of the Japanese said, "Two weeks! It only took you two weeks to dismantle that bridge and build a new one??? That is amazing!!" To which a Polish man replied, "Well, not exactly. When we returned to the bridge we couldn't dismantle it because there were all these Italians fishing off it." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
So this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Give me two single whiskies" "Sure" the bartender replies, "do you want them both now or one at a time?" "Oh, both now" replies the guy, "one's for me and one's for my little friend here" and with that the guy pulls a three inch tall man out of his shirt pocket. The Bartender looked at the little man in amazement and asked, "Can he drink?" "Sure" replied the guy and with that the three inch tall man supped back his whiskey. "That's amazing" replied the bartender, "what else can he do? Can he walk?" With that the guy flips a quarter down to the other end of the bar and asks the little fella to get it. Sure enough, he runs down the bar and retrieves the coin, picks it up and jogs back to the guy. "That really is amazing" replied the bartender, "Can he talk?" "Of course" says the guy, "Hey Jim, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you called that witch-doctor a Dumbocrat Wanker."

Today October 14 in
1066 The Battle of Hastings occurred in England. The Norman
forces of William the Conqueror defeated King Harold II of
England. 

1879 Thomas Edison signed an agreement with Jose D. Husbands for
the sale of Edison telephones in Chile. 

1887 Thomas Edison and George E. Gouraud reached an agreement for
the international marketing rights for the phonograph. 

1888 In England, Louis Le Prince filmed the experimental film
"Roundhay Garden Scene." It is the oldest surviving motion
picture. 

1912 Theodore Roosevelt was shot while campaigning in Milwaukee,
WI. Roosevelt's wound in the chest was not serious and he
continued with his planned speech. William Schrenk was captured
at the scene of the shooting. 

1922 Lieutenant Lester James Maitland set a new airplane speed
record when he reached a speed of 216.1 miles-per-hour. 

1926 The book "Winnie-the-Pooh," by A.A. Milne, made its debut. 

1928 The first televised wedding took place in Des Plains, IL.
James Fowlkes and Cora Dennison were married in a radio studio. 

1930 Ethel Merman debuted on Broadway in "Girl Crazy." 

1933 Nazi Germany announced that it was withdrawing from the
League of Nations. 

1936 The first SSB (Social Security Board) office opened in
Austin, TX. From this point, the Board's local office took over
the assigning of Social Security Numbers. 

1943 The Radio Corporation of America finalized the sale of the
NBC Blue radio network. Edward J. Noble paid $8 million for the
network that was renamed American Broadcasting Company. 

1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel committed suicide rather
than face execution after being accused of conspiring against
Adolf Hitler and the execution that would follow. 

1944 During World War II, the Second British Parachute Brigade
liberated the city of Athens. 

1947 Over Rogers Dry Lake in Southern California, pilot Chuck
Yeager flew the Bell X-1 rocket plane and became the first
American to break the sound barrier. 

1954 C.B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments", starring Charlton
Heston, began filming in Egypt. The epic had a cast of 25,000
people. 

1960 U.S. presidential candidate John F. Kennedy first suggested
the idea of a Peace Corps. 

1961 "How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying" opened on
Broadway. 

1962 The Cuban Missile Crisis began. It was on this day that U.S.
intelligence personnel analyzing data discovered Soviet medium-
range missile sites in Cuba. On October 22 U.S. President John F.
Kennedy announced that he had ordered the naval "quarantine" of
Cuba. 

1964 Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was awarded the Nobel Peace
Prize for his non-violent resistance to racial prejudice in
America. He was the youngest person to receive the award. 

1968 The first live telecast to come from a manned U.S.
spacecraft was transmitted from Apollo 7. 

1970 Anwar el-Sadat became president of Egypt following the death
of President Nasser. 

1972 In Iraq, oil was struck for the first time just north of
Kirkuk. 

1986 Soviet leader Mikhail S. Gorbachev charged that the U.S.
wanted to "bleed the Soviet Union economically" with the arms
race in space. 

1987 Jessica McClure, 18 months old, fell down an abandoned well
in Midland, TX. The rescue took 58 hours. 

2002 Britain stripped power from the Catholic and Protestant
politicians of Northern Ireland. Britain resumed sole
responsibility for running Northern Ireland. 

2018  smiled.


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Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, October 13

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Naked Tweaker Desecrated A Baptismal Font

______________________________________________________
Today, October 13 in
1943 During World War II, Italy switched sides, signed an
armistice with the Allies and declared war on Germany. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. --- Isaac Newton (1642 - 1727) A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. --- Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971) ______________________________________________________ There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again. The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage at the opening carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'" The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play, he's practicing his line over and over again. Finally, the time comes. The curtain goes up, the actor walks onto the stage, and with great passion delivers the line, "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress." The theatre erupts. The audience is screaming with laughter, but the director is steaming! "You bloody fool!" he cries. "You have ruined me!" The actor is bewildered, "What happened, did I forget my line?" "No!" screams the director. "You forgot the rose!" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A Rabbi, a Monk, and a lawyer are riding down the road when their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. Spotting a farmhouse they walk over and tell the farmer they need a place to stay the night while they wait for a tow. "I've got room in the house for two of you but someones gonna have to sleep in the barn." says the farmer. The Rabbi say's, "I've no problem with that, I'll go." He leaves. Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the Rabbi is there. He says, "Sir there is a pig in that barn; in my religion pigs are unclean, I cannot sleep under the same roof with a pig." The Monk speaks up and says, "I have no problem with pigs I'll go sleep in the barn." He leaves. Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the Monk is there. "Sir there is a cow in that barn; in my religion cows are sacred, I cannot sleep under the same roof with a cow. The lawyer responds, "I'll go sleep in the barn, I've got no religion." He leaves. Five minutes later theres a knock on the door. The farmer opens the door and the pig and the cow are standing there. _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ 1. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity. 2. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 A.M. It could be a right number. 3. Think about this: No one ever says, "It's only a game," when his team is winning. 4. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a Nap. 5. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it. 6. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket. 7. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!) 8. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo. 9. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead. 10. No one ever ruined their eyes from looking at the bright side of things. ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Isiah Hayes, 19, Daireus Ice, 22, Memphis, Tennessee Men indicted after mom finds video of 9-month-old being raped Two Tennessee men accused of raping a 9-month-old child and recording it has been indicted by a grand jury, according to WREG. The child’s mother reported the incident to police after she found videos of the crime on a cell phone, according to the Shelby County District Attorney’s Office. The suspects were later identified by police as Isiah Hayes, 19, and Daireus Ice, 22. In one of those videos, authorities say, one of the suspects was nude from the waist down and was touching himself while standing near the little girl. In another, the man was seen performing sex acts on the child, police said. The DA’s office told WHBQ that Ice was the one filming while Hayes allegedly assaulted the child. The child’s mother found the videos Oct. 14, 2016. A WREG article from February 2018 stated the mother was able to identify one of the suspects using social media. She then took all the information she had gathered to the police. Hayes was indicted on the aggravated rape of a child and especially aggravated sexual exploitation of a minor. Ice was indicted on the aggravated rape of a child/ criminal responsibility for the conduct of another and especially aggravated sexual exploitation of a minor.
From: Carolyn Re: Why are thumbnails so bad? Dear Webby If Thumbnails are so bad, why do the paint programs lety you make them? Carolyn Dear Carolyn Unless you use weird formats, that don't work on the net, like .PDP or .PSD, you can not restore a picture to the original size. Thumbnails ARE valuable, the same way as icons are. You use them to link to the full size picture, but you can not restore the original picture from an icon. That reminds me of this story: There was a noisy and demanding family reunion going on in a restaurant. They kept demanding all kinds of extras and were a royal pain in the nuisance for the waiter. He kept his composure, thinking he woud get a decent tip. They gave him a one dollar tip. After that they asked him to take a picture of them and take special care because some were close to dying and would not be alive at the next reunion. He fussed around and make them stand at attention for five minutes, and moved some of them around for a better composition. Then he took 3 pictures, carefully cutting their heads off. Thumbnails are the same thing. You better save the original under one name and the thumbnail under a different name. Have FUN! DearWebby

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An insurance salesman was getting nowhere in his efforts to sell a policy to a farmer. "Look at it this way." he said finally. "How would your wife carry on if you should die?" "Well..." drawled the weather-beaten man, "I don't reckon that'd be any concern of mine -- as long as she pretends to behave herself while I'm alive."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A real smooth talker who prided himself on being the ladies man finally met his match one night. The man had just learned that his father only had days to live and that he would inherit over ten million dollars. Overjoyed at the promised wealth, he celebrated at the local bar, where he just happened to see a drop dead gorgeous long legged woman. Of course, he couldn't wait to work his charms on her and indeed she was so interested in him, they went back to his house together. The next day she became his soon-to-be rich stepmother. ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Frugal Toys - Deck of Cards Kids can play Go Fish, War, Old Maid, Crazy Eights, Solitaire, and other simple games. Cards can also be used to build card houses or to do magic tricks. Check out a book of card games at the library and kids can entertain themselves for hours. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
How to exterminate rats on an Island.
___________________________________________________ Sherry the secretary walked into her boss's office and said, "I'm afraid I've got some bad news for you" "Sherry honey, why do you always have to give me bad news?" he complained. "Tell me some good news for once." "Alright, here's some good news," said the secretary. "You're not sterile." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
There are three religious truths: 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters

Today October 13 in
1775 The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction of a
naval fleet. 

1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in
Washington, DC. The building became known as the White House in
after it was renovated and whitewashed after the Canucks set it
on fire in the war of 1812. Hence the name WHITE house,

1812 American forces were defeated at the Battle of Queenstown
Heights. The British victory effectively ended a further U.S.
invasion of Canada. 

1843 B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded by Henry
Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY. 

1854 The state of Texas ratified a state constitution. 

1943 During World War II, Italy switched sides, signed an
armistice with the Allies and declared war on Germany. 

1944 American troops entered Aachen, Germany, during World War
II. 

1944 During World War II, British and Greek advance units landed
at Piraeus. 

1951 In Atlanta, GA, a football with a rubber covering was used
for the first time. Georgia Tech beat Louisiana State 25-7. 

1953 An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel Bagno. 

1981 Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as the
new president one week after Anwar Sadat was assassinated. 

1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow of
the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega. The US kidnapped him
and brought him to the US for trial.

1992 A commercial flight record was set by an Air France
supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours and one
minute. 

1995 Walt Disney World Resort admitted its 500-millionth guest. 

1999 The U.S. Senate rejected the ratification of the
Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty (CTBT). 

2010 Near Copiapó, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground in
San José Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days underground.


2018  smiled.


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Thumbnails instead of originals: Bad idea 




Good Morning, !

Today is Friday, October 12
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Thank you Norm!
I really appreciate your help!


home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Naked Tweaker Desecrated A Baptismal Font

______________________________________________________
Today, October 12 in
1492 Christopher Columbus, an Italian explorer, sighted Watling
Island in the Bahamas. He believed that he had found Asia while
attempting to find a Western ocean route to India. The same day
he claimed the land for Isabella and Ferdinand of Spain. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it. --- Mary Chase (1887 - 1973), Dream as if you'll live forever; Live as if you'll die today. --- James Dean ______________________________________________________ Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom, "I think I am going to have a little whisk broom!" "IMPOSSIBLE !" said the groom broom. WE HAVEN'T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!!! ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Vickey for this story: This cowboy was out looking for a job one day. He stopped at a ranchers house to ask the rancher for a job. This rancher looks over the cowboy and thinks to himself, "Waal, he looks ok, 10 gallon hat, denim shirt, denim pants but he's wearing tennis shoes. Guess I'll see what he can do." So the rancher tells the cowboy. "OK, let's see what you can do. Go rope that calf over there and brand it." The cowboy has the calf branded before the little doggie knows what hit him. Well, the rancher is a bit impressed but still not too sure so he gives him another test. "Now break that there bronc", he points to a wild looking stallion in a corral. This cowboy saddles, and rides the bronc, wildest ride you've ever seen. After 5 minutes the bronc is so tired he settles down and the cowboy hand the rancher a tame horse. This rancher is IMPRESSED now. "OK, son you got the job. There's just one question I gotta ask you. You rope and ride real well and you look mostly like a cowboy except for them tennis shoes. Why don't you wear cowboy boots instead of tennis shoes?" The cowboy looks the rancher in the eye and says, "I would wear cowboy boots, but then people would think I was a gay trucker!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Boudreaux and Rodrigue are out in one of Louisiana's Cajun country swamps when Rodrigue falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. Boudreaux takes out his cell phone and calls 911 for help. "My friend is dead. He jus' pass out. What can I do?" The operator says in a calm soothing voice, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a long silence, then the operator hears a shot. Boudreaux's voice comes back on the line. "Otay," he says. "Now what?" ______________________________________________________ Appalachian Mountains, NC _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Zachary Burdick, 21, Mandan, North Dakota Naked Tweaker Desecrated A Baptismal Font A North Dakota man tweaking on meth yesterday stripped off his clothes and went into a church’s baptismal font before emerging to walk toward the altar while masturbating, an affront witnessed by 75 individuals attending mass, according to a probable cause affidavit. The 9 AM mass Tuesday at Spirit of Life Church was interrupted when Zachary Burdick, 21, appeared in the entryway of the Roman Catholic church in Mandan, a city about five miles from Bismarck. A female church employee called police after Burdick disrobed and entered the font, where he was “masturbating facing the altar.” Burdick, she added, then “began walking down the aisle toward the altar while still masturbating.” Witness Darrell Kilzer, 68, told police that Burdick began to “splash around” in the “Holy Water fountain.” Kilzer added that Burdick later “entered the sanctuary with his ‘machinery’ hanging out and was ‘pumping’ himself.” Father Todd Kreitinger, who was conducting mass when Burdick arrived, said that the intruder “dipped his rear-end into the Holy Water fountain and splashed around a bit before entering the sanctuary while masturbating.” The priest added that the font would have to be cleaned and sanitized, a process that would cost the church about $500. When confronted by police, Burdick reportedly said that he was “tweaking” on meth and admitted to using hashish oil. Burdick, Officer Nicholas Pynnonen reported, “appeared to be under drug influence.” When the patrolman noted that he could not masturbate in public, Burdick replied, “Especially in church.” Burdick then reportedly declared that he was “trying to bust a nut” inside the church. Burdick was charged with felony indecent exposure and disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor. He made his initial appearance this afternoon in Morton County District Court. While often a misdemeanor, Burdick’s alleged indecent exposure was charged as a felony because it occurred within 50 feet of “where private religious instruction is given to children aged 3- 9.” No children attending the church’s educational program saw Burdick’s antics, however.
From: Carolyn Re: Thumbnails to save disk space Dear Webby I have heard that it takes a lot of space on my computer to have pictures of family and friends in folders and that I should make thumbnails instead. Is this true? Thanks. I enjoy your Humor Letter very much. Carolyn Dear Carolyn Whoever told you that nonsense, should be put on a strict diet of Smarties, and should not allowed out of the funny farm without competent supervision. There is probably a lot of useless stuff on your computer, that can be dumped, and replaced if needed. However, pictures of your friends and family can not be replaced. They have more rights to be on your computer and on your back-up than ANY of the replaceable crap. Especially silly games that can be downloaded again. You can always get a second hard drive cheap. But pictures of friends and relatives are not replaceable. I make thumbnails IN ADDITION to the regular size pictures, to make menuing and sorting easier, but I never reduce good pictures to thumbnail size without also keeping them in original or at least regular size. Have FUN! DearWebby

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Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven ... don't step on the ducks. When you step on a duck, they all start quacking and make one hell of a racket." So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck, and along come St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing, and with him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same punishment as the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, tan, muscular, and with good hair. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The woman remarks, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" And the guy says, "Well, I don't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A door-to-door vacuum cleaner salesman goes to the first house in his new territory. He knocks, a real mean and tough looking lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, he runs inside and dumps cow patties all over the carpet. He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning up that horse manure, I'll eat every chunk of it." She turns to him with a smirk and says, "You want ketchup on that?" The Salesman says, "why do you ask?" She says, "They have the electricity turned off, because I have not paid for three months and called them a bunch of @#$%^&*." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Store Extra Measuring Cups with Ingredients I have extra measuring cups and spoons and I put the appropriate measure into the container for items like flours, sugars, oatmeal, etc., and leave them there. Saves time and washing, and extra mess because I can keep the bowls over the container while measuring. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The Shirk Report for Friday
___________________________________________________ A woman walks into a shop that sells expensive Persian rugs. She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she accidentally breaks wind. Very embarrassed she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident. She turns and sees that standing next to her is a salesman. "Good day Ma'am. How may I help you today?" Very uncomfortable she asks, "Sir how much does this rug cost?" He answers, "Lady, you farted just touching it. You're gonna really mess your drawers when you hear the price." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Sammy, a little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," Sammy responded immediately. His cousin was amazed that he knew the answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," Sammy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

Today October 12 in
1492 Christopher Columbus, an Italian explorer, sighted Watling
Island in the Bahamas. He believed that he had found Asia while
attempting to find a Western ocean route to India. The same day
he claimed the land for Isabella and Ferdinand of Spain. 

1792 The first monument honoring Christopher Columbus was
dedicated in Baltimore, MD. 

1810 Bavarian Crown Prince Ludwig married Princess Therese of
Saxony-Hildburghausen. The royalty invited the public to attend
the event which became an annual celebration that later became
known as Oktoberfest. 

1892 In celebration of the 400th anniversary of the Columbus
landing the original version of the Pledge of Allegiance was
first recited in public schools. 

1915 Former U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt criticized U.S.
citizens who identified themselves by dual nationalities. 

1920 Construction of the Holland Tunnel began. It opened on
November 13, 1927. The tunnel links Jersey City, NJ and New York
City, NY. 

1933 The U.S. Department of Justice acquired Alcatraz Island from
the U.S. Army. 

1942 During World War II, Attorney General Francis Biddle
announced that Italian nationals in the United States would no
longer be considered enemy aliens. 

1960 Soviet premier Nikita Khrushchev pounded a shoe on his desk
during a dispute at a U.N. General Assembly. 

1964 The Soviet Union launched Voskhod 1 into orbit around the
Earth. It was the first space flight to have a multi-person crew
and the first flight to be performed without space suits. 

1972 During the Vietnam War, a racial brawl broke out aboard the
U.S. aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. Nearly 50 sailors were injured.


1976 China announced that Hua Guo-feng was named to succeed the
late Mao Tse-tung as chairman of the Communist Party. 

1988 Federal prosecutors announced that the Sundstrand Corp.
would pay $115 million dollars to settle with the Pentagon for
overbilling airplane parts over a five-year period. 

1989 The U.S. House of Representatives approved a statutory
federal ban on the destruction of the American flag. 

1994 Haitian military leader Raoul Cedras was granted political
asylum by Panama. 

1994 The Magellan space probe ended its four-year mission to
Venus for the purpose of mapping. 

1997 The St. Francis Basilica and 15th-century bell tower above
Foligno city hall in Italy were damaged by 3 earthquakes. 

1998 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Online
Copyright Bill. 

1999 In Pakistan, Pervez Musharraf seized power in a bloodless
coup that toppled Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif. The Supreme Court
ruled that the coup was legal but insisted that a civilian
government be restored within three years. 

2001 A special episode of America's Most Wanted was aired that
focused on 22 wanted terrorists. The show was specifically
requested by U.S. President George W. Bush. 

2006 The Dow Jones industrial average advanced over 11,900 for
the first time. 

2015 It was announced that Dell was buying EMC for around $67
billion. 

2018  smiled.


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"Be Aware" hoax 




Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, October 11

home4christmas.com is for sale! 
Make an offer! $50 minimum.
You  can use it for anything you want.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Today's Bonehead Award: 

Springfield man arrested after posting 
Facebook video about how to remove 
an ankle monitor

______________________________________________________
Today, October 11 in
1984 American Kathryn D. Sullivan became the first female
astronaut to space walk. She was aboard the space shuttle
Challenger. 
More of today in history at History
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. --- Lucille Ball (1911 - 1989) ______________________________________________________ >From Wendy After my recent Prostate Exam, which was the most thorough I've ever had, the Doctor left the room and the nurse came in. As she shut the door, She asked me a question I didn't want to hear. She said; "Who Was That Guy? ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him. The called said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-1234. I can't come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone. Screeeech!" _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Sandie for this story: Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, "Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk," worth 70 points or none at all. One student , in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote: 1.) It is perfect formula for the child. 2.) It provides immunity against several diseases. 3.) It is always the right temperature. 4.) It is inexpensive. 5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa. 6.) It is always available as needed. And then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell indicating the end of the test rang, he wrote... 7.) It comes in cute containers. He got an A ______________________________________________________ Soputan,Indonesia Enough CO2 for a Million acres of rice _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dwayne White, Bonifay, Floriduh Florida Officer Charged With Selling Drugs Out of Squad Car Crime doesn't pay - especially when you're supposed to be working for the other side. Authorities say a police officer who worked for the Bonifay Police Department, located in the Florida panhandle, was arrested after allegedly selling opioids out of his marked squad car while in uniform. Officer Dwayne White was arrested while at the Bonifay Police Department by agents from the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, authorities said. The FDLE began its investigation of White last month after the Holmes County Sheriff's Office referred their suspicions to them. Undercover agents made a controlled purchase of opioid tablets from White while he was in uniform in his marked squad car. White also allegedly used his personal cell phone for sales. The officer was charged with selling a controlled substance and unlawful use of a two-way communications device. He is currently being held in the Walton County Jail.
From: Fred Re: Fwd.:Be Aware Dear Webby, Please read this. It is no joke. Here is the e-mail I was sent: Dear Friends: I know not all of you are women that I am sending this to, but am hoping you will share this with your wives, daughters, mothers, sisters, etc. Our world seems to be getting crazier by the day. Pipe bombs in mail boxes and sickos in parking lots with perfume. Be careful. I was approached yesterday afternoon aro und 5:30 PM in the Wal-Mart parking lot by two men asking what kind of perfume I .......... Dear Fred Forget it. That is an ancient hoax. You can read up on it. There is no gas that is so potent that it can knock you out with just the tiny amount that can be put into a stack of scratch cards. Have FUN! DearWebby

Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. No need to re-install them. The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Keli said, "I met the best-looking guy! He's gorgeous, but he doesn't say much. He's very quiet." Anni asked, "Did you check to see if he needs the battery replaced??"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A young woman meets her old, retired, parish priest and when he asks her how she is, she bursts out crying. "What's the matter child?" he asks. "Oh, Father," she says, "it's my boyfriend. He won't marry me because I'm Roman Catholic." "There, there child. Here's what you do. Explain to him the faith of the Church, the traditions, the ceremonies and the rites. That'll bring him around." Tearfully, the young woman says she'll try it. About a year later, they meet again, and again she bursts into tears when he asks how she is doing. "Is it your boyfriend, child?" he asks. "Yes, Father." "Did you explain about the Church as I suggested?" "Yes, Father," she says, "but that was the problem. He was so taken by it that he's now studying to be a priest." ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Tennis Ball In The Garage Are you worried about a young driver (or yourself) driving through the back wall of you garage? Hang a tennis ball from the ceiling of the garage. Position the tennis ball to hit the windshield when the car is pulled in far enough. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The brief musical career of Norman Bates, aka Anthony Perkins.
___________________________________________________ A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams and wanted to know what he should do next. His mother suggested, "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?" He thought this was a great idea and arranged a date for the next weekend. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone. He moaned, "Oh, mom, the evening was a complete disaster." His mother said, "Why, didn't she come over?" And the young man said, "Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
WIFE: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor." HUSBAND: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous." WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor." HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?" WIFE: "In the pool."

Today October 11 in
1776 During the American Revolution the first naval battle of
Lake Champlain was fought. The forces under Gen. Benedict Arnold
suffered heavy losses. 

1811 The Juliana, the first steam-powered ferryboat, was put into
operation by the inventor John Stevens. The ferry went between
New York City, NY, and Hoboken, NJ. 

1869 Thomas Edison filed for a patent on his first invention. The
electric machine was used for counting votes for the U.S.
Congress, however the Congress did not buy it. 

1881 David Henderson Houston patented the first roll film for
cameras. 

1890 The Daughters of the American Revolution was founded in
Washington, DC. 

1899 The Boer War began in South Africa between the British and
the Boers of the Transvaal and Orange Free State. 

1929 JCPenney opened a store in Milford, DE, making it a
nationwide company with stores in all 48 states. 

1932 In New York, the first telecast of a political campaign was
aired. 

1939 U.S. President Roosevelt was presented with a letter from
Albert Einstein that urged him to develop the U.S. atomic program
rapidly. 

1942 The Battle of Cape Esperance, during World War II, began in
the Solomons. 

1958 Pioneer 1, a lunar probe, was launched by the U.S. The probe
did not reach its destination and fell back to Earth and burned
up in the atmosphere. 

1968 Apollo 7 was launched by the U.S. The first manned Apollo
mission was the first in which live television broadcasts were
received from orbit. Wally Schirra, Don Fulton Eisele and R.
Walter Cunningham were the astronauts aboard. 

1975 Bill Clinton and Hillary Rodham were married in
Fayetteville, AR. 

1983 The last hand-cranked telephones in the U.S. went out of
service. The 440 telephone customers of Bryant Pond, ME, were
switched to direct-dial service. 

1984 American Kathryn D. Sullivan became the first female
astronaut to space walk. She was aboard the space shuttle
Challenger. 

1984 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) made his debut in the
National Hockey League (NHL) against the Boston Bruins. He scored
a goal on his first shot on his first NHL shift. 

1994 U.S. troops in Haiti took control of the National Palace. 

1994 Iraqi troops began moving away from the Kuwaiti border. 

1994 The Colorado Supreme Court declared that the anti-gay rights
measure in the state was unconstitutional. 

2018  smiled.


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Is Crap Cleaner OK? 




Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, October 10

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Today's Bonehead Award: 

Springfield man arrested after posting 
Facebook video about how to remove 
an ankle monitor

______________________________________________________
Today, October 10 in
1973 Fiji became independent after of nearly a 
century of British rule. 
More of today in history at History
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If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half the time. --- E. B. White (1899 - 1985) Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) ______________________________________________________ >From Myrna Men are good for only one thing! Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to my mother to complain. Trying to console me, my dad said that men are not all like this all the time. "Nonsense," I said. "Men are good for only one thing!" "Yes," my mother interjected, "but how often do you have to parallel park?" ____________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "Doctor!" said the woman as she loudly bounced into the room, "I want you to tell me very frankly what's wrong with me." He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you." "First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds. Second, you should use about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist - the doctor's office is on the next floor...." _____________________________________________________ Malwarebytes for Home | Anti-Malware Premium | Free Trial Download ______________________________________________________ A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It´s too hot. It´s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin´ ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone," the guide said. "Unfortunately, it´s being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow." "We can´t be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can´t kiss the stupid stone." "Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you´ll have the same good fortune." "And I suppose you´ve kissed the stone," the woman scoffed. "No, ma´am," the frustrated guide said, "but I´ve sat on it!!!" ______________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! Thanks for your votes!
___________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dustin W. Burns, 33, Springfield, MO Springfield man arrested after posting Facebook video about how to remove an ankle monitor A Springfield man is in jail after authorities say he filmed himself using a butter knife and a screwdriver to remove an ankle monitor — then posted the video to Facebook. The July video referenced by investigators is still posted on what appears to be the Facebook page of Dustin W. Burns, 33. Court records show Burns pleaded guilty to violating a restraining order earlier this year and was placed on probation. "This is how you take an ankle bracelet off," says a voice in the video, "without breaking the circuit." A man in the video can be seen with his pants leg rolled up. He sticks the butter knife in and out of the device, before grabbing a utility tool to unscrew part of it. The man advises viewers to remove the ankle monitor without damaging it, thus avoiding thousands of dollars in fines. The video ends with the man fully removing the bracelet and holding it up to the camera. Authorities apparently believe this man is Burns. In subsequent posts, the Facebook account references trips to Utah, Boise, Idaho and Oregon. In August, the Facebook account posted a video of a man who looks like Burns walking through what appears to be a large marijuana farm with the caption: "Dream come true." Court records show several probation violations were filed this summer against Burns and a warrant for his arrest was issued. Online jail records show Burns has been in the Greene County Jail since Aug. 28. Burns was charged this week with tampering with electronic monitoring equipment, a felony, court records say.
From: Jerry Re: Is CrapCleaner safe Dear Webby, I sent you an E-Mail last week and did'nt recive any reply... So, Guess I'll thy again... Can you tell me anything about the CrapCleaner... I've downloaded it,from your site here...but I don't want to use it unless I know its safe... Well it delete my files and/or programs that are on my Desktop ??? Thank You for any info... --- Jerry --- Dear Jerry Crap Cleaner is perfectly safe. It will just delete useless crap. If you are using cookies to sign in at the bank and places like that, take the checkmark off the cookies. Then it will leave those alone. It will show you first what it has found that is useless crap. You can look that over and un-check stuff if you think you might need it. CrapCleaner will remember your preferences and next time not suggest anything that you had unchecked the last time. Quite often, if your machine slows down and gets close to stalling, running CrapCleaner will get things moving again and speed up the machine. Some people prefer the older versions of Crap cleaner, and I do too. The newer versions can be a bit too helpful unless you look at all the options and uncheck stuff, that you find unneccessary. Have FUN! DearWebby

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At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax. One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained. When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, "So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?" "Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Just before their first long deployment two Navy buddies were talking about the stress of leaving their families. A senior officer, a veteran of many deployments, overheard the conversation and offered the following advice: "You must be sensitive to your wives' emotional needs," he said. "Never, ever, whistle while you pack!" ___________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thriftyfun.com Donate Old Magazines Give your old magazines to hospitals, nursing homes, senior centers, schools or clinics. Schools need magazines for research and for children to cut pictures out of. Anywhere there is a waiting room there are people hoping for something to read. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com ____________________________________________________
The brief musical career of Norman Bates, aka Anthony Perkins.
___________________________________________________ The new bride had spent two hours preparing her first break- fast. She sat down at the table, eagerly watching as her husband slowly savored each forkful. "How was it, Honey?" she asked when he'd finished. "Well," he began thoughtfully, wiping his lips, "you probably could have beaten the eggshells a little longer. But on the whole, it was a good start." ___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Our neighbor used the word hypochondriac to describe the phase her teen-age daughter was going though. One day the girl was convinced that the pain on her left side was appendicitis. Her mother explained that the appendix is on the right. "So that's why it hurts to much," her daughter said. "My appendix is on the wrong side."

Today October 10 in
1845 The United States Naval Academy opened in Annapolis, MD. 

1865 The billiard ball was patented by John Wesley Hyatt. 

1886 The tuxedo dinner jacket made its U.S. debut in New York
City. 

1887 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Phonograph Company. 

1911 China's Manchu dynasty was overthrown by revolutionaries
under Sun Yat-sen. 

1913 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson triggered the explosion of the
Gamboa Dike that finished the construction of the Panama Canal. 

1933 Dreft, the first synthetic detergent, went on sale. 

1938 Nazi Germany completed its annexation of Czechoslovakia's
Sudetenland. 

1943 Chaing Kai-shek took the oath of office as the president of
China. 

1957 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower apologized to Komla
Agbeli Gbdemah, the finance minister of Ghana, after the official
had been refused service in a Dover, DE, restaurant. 

1959 Pan American World Airways announced the beginning of the
first global airline service. 

1963 A dam burst in Italy killing 3,000 people. 

1965 The Red Baron made his first appearance in the "Peanuts"
comic strip. 

1973 Fiji became independent after of nearly a century of British
rule. 

1984 The U.S. Congress passed the 2nd Boland Amendment which
outlawed solicitation of 3rd-party countries to support the
Contras. The amendment barred the use of funds available to CIA,
defense, or intelligence agencies for "supporting, directly or
indirectly, military or paramilitary operations in Nicaragua by
any nation, group, organization or individual." 

1987 Tom McClean finished rowing across the Atlantic Ocean. It
set the record at 54 days and 18 hours. 

1991 The United States cut all foreign aid to Haiti in reaction
to a military coup that forced President Jean-Claude Aristide
into exile. 

1994 Lt. Gen. Raoul Cedras resigned as Haiti's commander-in-chief
of the army and pledged to leave the country. 

1994 Iraq announced it was withdrawing its forces from the
Kuwaiti border. No signs of a pullback were observed. 

2003 Rush Limbaugh announced that he was addicted to painkillers
and that he was going to check into a rehab center. 

2010 In China, Canton Tower opened to the public. 

2018  smiled.


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