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Today is Monday, January 13.
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Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Kentucky jail breaker, who got so cold, that he asked to be let inside again. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1942 Henry Ford patented the plastic automobile, which allowed for a 30% decrease in car weight. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Only exceptionally rational men can afford to be absurd. --- Allan Goldfein The one function TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were. --- David Brinkley (1920 - 2003)
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Reverend Smith, a respected church leader, arrived in a large city to deliver a series of speeches. At a banquet the first evening, he noticed some reporters in the audience. Because he wanted to use some of the stories he told that night in his speeches the next day, he asked the reporters to omit them from their articles. One article that came out the next day, written by a cub reporter, concluded with this line: "Reverend Smith also told a number of stories that cannot be printed."
The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and see if we're at the right funeral."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Robert Vick, 42, Lexington, Kentucky Kentucky jail breaker, who got so cold, that he asked to be let inside again. Robert Vick, a 42-year-old inmate who escaped from Blackburn Correctional Complex in Lexington, turned himself back in less than 48 hours later when he decided jail was better than freezing to death. According to police, Vick escaped from a minimum security facility in Lexington Sunday, however, the plan quickly backfired when he encountered an unexpected dose of cold weather. Local wind chill temperatures were 20 degrees below zero Monday in Lexington, according to weather reports. Vick would have been dressed in prison issued khaki pants, a hirt and a jacket, according to Department of Correction spokesperson, Lisa Lamb. As temperatures dropped between Sunday and Tuesday morning, Vick reportedly walked into a motel and asked the clerk to call police. He reportedly told the clerk that he wanted to turn himself in because it was too cold outside. Arriving officers called in paramedics to check Vick out before he was returned to Blackburn, said Lexington police spokesperson Sherelle Roberts "This was definitely of his own volition," said Roberts. " It's cold out there, too cold to run around. I can understand why the suspect would turn himself in. Vick was serving a six-year sentence for burglary and criminal possession of a forged instrument when he escaped. Tech Support Pits From: Joy Re: Set file types Dear Webby, Sometimes I can't open picture attachments in email. The message I get is,"This file does not have a program associated with it for performing this action. Create an association in the Folders Options Control Panel. I don't really know what to do after opening the Folder Options folder. Can you help me? Thanks, Joy Dear Joy Right-Click on START select EXPLORE Click on TOOLS FOLDER OPTIONS FILE TYPES Scroll down to the file type that you need a program for, highlight it click on advanced, and select a suitable program for it. For GIF, JPG, PNG, BMP select PaintShop Pro or whatever you use for graphics. For PDF use Foxit or Adobe Acrobat, for PPT use Microsoft PowerPoint viewer. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Strain Sugar from Cereal When you get to the end of the cereal box or bag, you'll see sugar or tiny particles that you don't want to eat. Take a strainer and dump the cereal into the strainer and shake around. The small parts and sugar will fall into the sink or garbage can. By lnygaard Poking some small holes into the bottom of the bag or box works quite well too. That way, if you ar not as far down the box as you thought, you don't have to try getting it back in there. Even easier is buying un-sugared cereal and adding whatever sweetener you are in the mood for in the amounts you want right on the plate, for example dark Demarara sugar. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Isaac guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. His friend Morris said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles." "Yes, that she did," he replied. "But where in the world was I gonna find a fake Jeep?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be "Macho", and went out walking with one of the hired hands. Walking through the barnyard, the visitor tried starting a conversation: "Say, look at that big bunch of buffalos." The hired hand replied, "Not 'bunch' but 'herd'." "Heard what?" "Herd of buffalos." "Sure, I've heard of buffalos. There's a big bunch of 'em right over there." "Yep. You can go ride one of them for the afternoon."
The Easterner had always dreamed of owning his own cattle ranch, and finally made enough money to buy his dream spread in Wyoming. "So, what did you name the ranch?" asked his best friend when he flew out to visit "We had a heck of a time," admitted the new cowboy."Couldn't agree on anything. We finally settled on the Double R Lazy L Triple Horseshoe Bar-7 Lucky Diamond Ranch." "Wow!" his friend was impressed. "So where are all the cows?" "When they saw that branding iron, they all ran away."

» Critter Chatter

Today, January 13, in
1128 Pope Honorius II granted a papal sanction to the military 
 order known as the Knights Templar. He declared it to be an 
 army of God.
1854 Anthony Faas of Philadelphia, PA, patented the accordion.
1898 Emile Zola's "J'accuse" was published in Paris.
1900 In Austria-Hungary, Emperor Franz Joseph decreed that 
 German would be the language of the imperial army to combat 
 Czech nationalism.
1906 Hugh Gernsback, of the Electro Importing Company, 
 advertised radio receivers for sale for the price of just 
 $7.50 in "Scientific American" magazine.
1928 Ernst F. W. Alexanderson gave the first public 
 demonstration of television.
1942 Henry Ford patented the plastic automobile, which 
 allowed for a 30% decrease in car weight.
1982 An Air Florida 737 crashed into the capital's 14th 
 Street Bridge after takeoff and fell into the Potomac River. 
 78 people were killed.
1984 Wayne Gretzky extended his NHL consecutive scoring 
 streak to 45 games.
1992 Japan apologized for forcing tens of thousands of Korean 
 women to serve as sex slaves for Japanese soldiers during WQII.
1998 ABC and ESPN negotiated to keep "Monday Night Football" 
 for $1.15 billion a season.
1998 One of the 110 missing episodes of the British TV show 
 "Doctor Who" was found in New Zealand.
2002 Japan and Singapore signed a free trade pact
2002 U.S. President George W. Bush fainted after choking 
 on a pretzel.
2009 Ethiopian military forces began pulling out of Somalia, 
 where they had tried to maintain order for nearly two years. 
2014  smiled.


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Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, January 12.
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Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Meth dealers dining at classy restaurant jailed after leaving waitress a methamphetamine tip Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1998 Linda Tripp provided Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr's office with taped conversations between herself and former White House intern Monica Lewinsky. Today we had a nice and rambunctious Chinook. My wind chimes were gonging like crazy, and one of them tore loose and took off. It sure was funny watching plastic lawn chairs scooting along on the crusty snow. For a while there were dry leaves getting blown along by the storm. They were definitely not from Alberta, where all leaves are covered by a foot or more of snow. They must have come across the Rockies from BC. When I saw a downed wheelie-bin sailing along on the street I went to check on mine, It was OK, down, but firmly wedged between the back steps and the garage. It sure was funny, though, to see a wheelie bin sailing along at slightly over the speed limit. Have FUN! DearWebby
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America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
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>From Roland Do you have one in your files about this mother visiting her son and was concerned about them sleeping together so she hid the soup spoon under the girl friends pillow. Something like that. Yes, I found it. Here it is: HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one. Bryan invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Bryan's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Bryan's roommate, Jessica, was. Bryan's mother had long been suspicious of a relationship between Bryan and Jessica, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Mother started to wonder if there was more between Bryan and Jessica than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Bryan volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Jessica and I are just roommates." About a week later, Jessica came to Bryan saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Bryan said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an e-mail just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: Dear Mother: I'm not saying that you "did" take the gravy ladle from the house, I'm not saying that you "did not" take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, Bryan Several days later, Bryan received an email from his mother that read: Dear Son: I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Jessica, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Jessica. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom
Andy was reading the paper while his son was doing homework on the opposite side of the table. "Dad", his son asked, "how many people work in the Government?" Without looking up, Andy responded: "Oh, about a quarter of them."
Thanks to Terry for sending this picture, that she took in October: Click on the picture for the large versi"> Click on the picture for the large version Outdoor exercise machines in Black Diamond, AB I think it was around -25 that day, Guess who that is!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ryan Bensen, 40, and Erica Manley, 37, in Seaside, Oregon Meth dealers Dining At Classy Restaurant Jailed After Leaving Waitress A Methamphetamine Tip Ryan Bensen, 40, and Erica Manley, 37, were jailed Thursday night after they allegedly left crystal meth as a tip while dining out. According to Seaside Police, Bensen and Manley were having dinner and drinks at the Twisted Fish Steakhouse Thursday night when stupidity became the guest of honor. When it came time to settle the bill, the couple used a gift card to pay the balance due. Instead of offering the waitress a cash tip, the couple handed her an envelope that had a question mark scribbled on the front. Inside the envelope, the waitress found an undisclosed amount of crystal meth. The waitress then calmly walked away from the table and contacted police. Investigators say Bensen and Manley were still at the restaurant when officers arrived at the scene. Upon search of Manley's purse, officers recovered a half-kilo of meth. Police later searched the couple's car and the motel room and recovered a large cache of crystal meth. Officers also found materials inside the motel room used for manufacturing methamphetamine. Bensen was booked into jail and charged with manufacturing methamphetamine. Manley was booked into jail and charged with possessing, delivering and manufacturing meth. Tech Support Pits From: Dan Re: Crap Cleaner Dear Webby, Thank You for the infomation on crap cleaner. I used it on windows xp where it worked very well But, it was remarkable what it did on my laptop that uses win7 It is like a new computer Thank you. Dan Dear Dan You are most welcome! Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Wooden Spoon To Prevent Boil Over When boiling potatoes, noodles, etc on top of stove, place a wooden spoon over top of pan to keep it from boiling over and having to clean up a mess. By mjbretz It doesn't have to be a wooden spoon. A stick works fine when cooking on a camp fire. Metal works too. With anything, that requires a rolling boil or when cooking at high altitude, that trick is indispensible! Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
An airliner is coming into land at an airport obscured by fog. Visibility is practically nil, the ILS system is on the blink, so the pilot has to land on wits alone. "Flaps, check," he says to the co-pilot, "Landing Gear, check. Altitude, check. Right, we're going in. Hold on." The plane lands and comes to a screeching, grinding halt; just short of the edge of the runway. "Holy Cow!" exclaims the pilot, "This must be the shortest runway I've ever landed on!" The co-pilot looks left and right and says "Yeah, and about the widest, too..." ------------------------- That reminds me of a landing in Burwash in the Yukon in 71. Burwash is at the end of Kluane Lake, beside Kluane National Park. Very scenic. Also the worlds windiest airport. There was a short dirt taxi-way and parking area between the gravel runway and the occasionally staffed airport building. We used an old Piper Cub to get from there to Tincup Lake, where another guy and me were pretending to be carpenters and built a big fishing lodge without anybody ever catching on that we were learning carpentry as we went. We stayed in tents at Tincup Lake and once a week flew out to Burwash for hot showers and a meal that we did not have to poach, to pick up nails and other supplies, and to flirt at the waitresses. Top speed of the old souped up Cub was about 85 miles per hour when the tank was near empty. This one day the wind was 80, gusting to 90. Just before Burwash our route was near the Alaska Highway. Cars on the highway below sure looked fast whenever we were drifting backwards! When we finally got to the airport, we realized that there was just no way we would be able to taxi from the runway across the wind over to the parking area without getting flipped sideways. Gerry, who was just as crazy as me, hovered over the taxi way like a tethered kite and slowly forced the plane down to the tiedowns. The tiedowns were 55 gallon drums filled with cast iron engine blocks and old batteries. When we were low enough, I climbed out onto the wing to wheel support strut, and while hanging on with one hand and one leg, fished for the rope on the first barrel. After a few tries I got hold of it and cinched down the left wing. With the engine still running at full blast, I clambered over to the other side, being careful not to touch the ground and taking any weight off the little plane, and finally tied down that side, just before we ran out fuel. After climbing out, Gerry tied the stick to the seat, -yes, the front had a real seat, not just a cooler-, so that the wind forced the tail down. Then we carried a couple of 10 gallon drums filled with concrete and chains over to the tail to tie it down. It's amazing how fast you can run while carrying those drums, when you are in a hurry and you have an 80 mile per hour wind at your back! The waitresses in Burwash didn't want us to fly back that night and managed to persuade us to spend the night. By morning the wind had slowed down considerably, but we didn't need the real runway. The width of the taxi strip was plenty.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

An airliner is coming into land at an airport obscured by fog. Visibility is practically nil, the ILS system is on the blink, so the pilot has to land on wits alone. "Flaps, check," he says to the co-pilot, "Landing Gear, check. Altitude, check. Right, we're going in. Hold on." The plane lands and comes to a screeching, grinding halt; just short of the edge of the runway. "Holy Cow!" exclaims the pilot, "This must be the shortest runway I've ever landed on!" The co-pilot looks left and right and says "Yeah, and about the widest, too..." ------------------------- That reminds me of a landing in Burwash in the Yukon in 71. Burwash is at the end of Kluane Lake, beside Kluane National Park. Very scenic. Also the worlds windiest airport. There was a short dirt taxi-way and parking area between the gravel runway and the occasionally staffed airport building. We used an old Piper Cub to get from there to Tincup Lake, where another guy and me were pretending to be carpenters and built a big fishing lodge without anybody ever catching on that we were learning carpentry as we went. We stayed in tents at Tincup Lake and once a week flew out to Burwash for hot showers and a meal that we did not have to poach, to pick up nails and other supplies, and to flirt at the waitresses. Top speed of the old souped up Cub was about 85 miles per hour when the tank was near empty. This one day the wind was 80, gusting to 90. Just before Burwash our route was near the Alaska Highway. Cars on the highway below sure looked fast whenever we were drifting backwards! When we finally got to the airport, we realized that there was just no way we would be able to taxi from the runway across the wind over to the parking area without getting flipped sideways. Gerry, who was just as crazy as me, hovered over the taxi way like a tethered kite and slowly forced the plane down to the tiedowns. The tiedowns were 55 gallon drums filled with cast iron engine blocks and old batteries. When we were low enough, I climbed out onto the wing to wheel support strut, and while hanging on with one hand and one leg, fished for the rope on the first barrel. After a few tries I got hold of it and cinched down the left wing. With the engine still running at full blast, I clambered over to the other side, being careful not to touch the ground and taking any weight off the little plane, and finally tied down that side, just before we ran out fuel. After climbing out, Gerry tied the stick to the seat, -yes, the front had a real seat, not just a cooler-, so that the wind forced the tail down. Then we carried a couple of 10 gallon drums filled with concrete and chains over to the tail to tie it down. It's amazing how fast you can run while carrying those drums, when you are in a hurry and you have an 80 mile per hour wind at your back! The waitresses in Burwash didn't want us to fly back that night and managed to persuade us to spend the night. By morning the wind had slowed down considerably, but we didn't need the real runway. The width of the taxi strip was plenty.
A group of friends who prided themselves on their intelligence set out to have a contest of wits. Each person in turn asked a question, and anyone who volunteered an answer that was wrong dropped out. If no one could answer,the questioner himself had to answer, and if he was wrong,he dropped out. Each dropout had to put $5 into the pot. Eventually the matter boiled down to Thompson and Brown, and the erudition of each one boiled up so that both were held even for half an hour. Finally Thompson said, "How does a gopher dig a hole without leaving a mound of sand at the lip?" Brown thought about that and said, "I can't answer that. However, since it's your question, you had better answer it." Thompson said coolly, as he reached for the accumulated pile of bills. "Easy. The gopher starts at the bottom of the hole and that's where he leaves the sand." "Hold on," said Brown heatedly, grasping Thompson's wrist to prevent him from taking the pot. "How does the gopher get to the bottom of the hole in the first place?" "That's YOUR question," said Thompson as he took the money.

» Frozen Bubles

Today, January 11, in
49 BC Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon River signaling a 
 war between Rome and Gaul.
1519 Holy Roman Emperor Maximilian I died.
1866 The Royal Aeronautical Society was founded in London.
1875 Kwang-su was made emperor of China.
1882 Thomas Edison's central station on Holborn Viaduct 
 in London began operation.
1896 At Davidson College, several students took x-ray 
 photographs. They created the first X-ray photographs 
 to be made in America.
1908 A wireless message was sent long-distance for the first 
 time from the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
1915 The U.S. House of Representatives rejected a proposal 
 to give women the right to vote.
1915 The U.S. Congress established the Rocky Mountain National Park.
1932 Hattie W. Caraway became the first woman elected to the 
 U.S. Senate.
1938 Austria recognized the Franco government in Spain.
1940 Soviet bombers raided cities in Finland.
1943 The Office of Price Administration announced that standard 
 Frankfurters/hot dogs/Wieners would be replaced by 
 'Victory Sausages.'
1945 During World War II, Soviet forces began a huge offensive 
 against the Germans in Eastern Europe.
1948 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states could not discriminate 
 against law-school applicants because of race.
1964 Leftist rebels in Zanzibar began their successful revolt 
 against the government and a republic was proclaimed.
1966 U.S. President Johnson said in his State of the Union 
 address that the United States should stay in South Vietnam 
 until Communist aggression there was ended.
1970 The breakaway state of Biafra capitulated and the 
 Nigerian civil war came to an end.
1971 "All In the Family" debuted on CBS-TV.
1991 The U.S. Congress passed a resolution authorizing 
 President Bush to use military power to force Iraq out 
 of Kuwait.
1998 Tyson Foods Inc. pled guilty to giving $12,000 to 
 former Agriculture Secretary Mike Espy. Tyson was fined 
 $6 million.
1998 19 European nations agreed to prohibit human cloning.
1998 Linda Tripp provided Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr's 
 office with taped conversations between herself and former 
 White House intern Monica Lewinsky.
2000 The U.S. Supreme Court, in a 5-4 ruling, gave police 
 broad authority to stop and question people who run at 
 the sight of an officer.
2005 NASA launched "Deep Impact". The spacecraft was planned 
 to impact on Comet Tempel 1 after a six-month, 268 million
 -mile journey.
2006 The U.S. Mint began shipping new 5-cent coins to the 12 
 regional Federal Reserve Banks. The coin has an image of 
 Thomas Jefferson taken from a 1800 Rembrandt Peale portrait 
 in which the president is looking forward. Since 1909, when 
 presidents were first depicted on circulating coins, all 
 presidents had been shown in profile.
2014  smiled.


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Lost Files 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, January 11.
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Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Indiana man who was jailed after trooper on routine traffic stop finds nearly 50 bombs. Details at International Bonehead Awards From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1922 At Toronto General Hospital, Leonard Thompson became the first person to be successfully treated with insulin. Have FUN! DearWebby
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The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good. --- Ann Landers He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make his words good. --- Confucius
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>From Roland The couple was delighted when their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them that there was a wonderful Russian baby boy available. The couple accepted him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the forms, the registration clerk inquired, "What ever possessed you to study Russian?" The couple said proudly, "We just adopted a Russian baby. In a year or so, when he begins to talk, we want to be able to understand him."
The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of two."The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world." But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel this way about my mother moving in with us tomorrow morning ."
Thanks to Nanarina for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Frost Flower
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andrew Boguslawski, an Indiana man who was jailed after trooper on routine traffic stop finds nearly 50 bombs. Andrew Boguslawski, a 43-year-old Indiana man, was jailed New Year's Day after police found nearly 50 bombs and a remote detonating device in his vehicle during a routine traffic stop for speeding. According to Ohio State Police, Boguslawski was traveling 85 mph in a 70-mph section of Interstate 70 Wednesday when Troopers pulled him over for speeding. When the Trooper approached the window, Boguslawski stated that he had no weapons or other unlawful materials in his vehicle. However, the officer saw the handle of a gun between Boguslawski's legs when he returned to the car with a ticket. The officer then held Boguslawski at gun point while waiting for backup to arrive. Officers later recovered 48 explosive devices, a remote detonating system, additional bomb making materials, two pistols and two rifles from Boguslawski's vehicle. Investigators are working to determine why Boguslawski had so many explosives and what he intended to do with them in Ohio. He was booked into jail and charged with illegal manufacture or processing of explosives. He remains held in lieu of $1 million bond. Tech Support Pits From: Rita Re: Lost files Dear Webby, Hello! I need to ask you a question about my Documents settings.I went to click on my Documents this morning and got a box with instructions that it was not recognized and to rt click my documents icon then click properties and check path to target location is correct.So I went there and clicked on the default thinking maybe this would help. It only came up as if I had just started it today.I had tons of pics. and all on there that can never be replaced. Could you tell me where I might be able to retrieve the files? I updated IE, but it has never done this before. I don't understand how my documents could just disappear or not work anymore.Never had this problem before. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Love you letters everyday. Thank you. Rita in Texas Dear Rita IE is bad news, but I don't think it is the cause of this particular problem. Probably the cat batted the mouse around and drug the files elsewhere. Or an errant elbow. Click on START Search and search for *.jpg That will find all the JPG files, and let you drag them back to where you used to have them, or to a more appropriate location. The same trick works with .gif, mp3, doc, docx, and whatever files you are looking for. You will soon find out where they got drug to. Chances are they are all at the same place. This is a chance for you to drag them all to a more convenient location than the rather klutzy default. I put them onto the external USB drive into the !! folder. "!!" is always right near the top and really easy to find. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cooking Pasta or Rice in the Microwave When we got our first microwave, we were without a stove so I learned to cook in the microwave. For any type of pasta or rice: Put in a microwave safe bowl. Add twice as much water or other liquid as there is of the pasta. Microwave on high. 15 minutes for noodles or small pasta. 20-25 minutes for macaroni or thicker pasta. 30 minutes for rice. IMPORTANT, stir well after the first 5 minutes. This keeps the pasta from clumping together. Rice doesn't need to be stirred. Drain and use. Since microwaves vary in their cooking, check 5 minutes before time. You can use stock, tomatoes in juice, et cetera for liquid. When cooking rice, cover and let set for 5-7 minutes and it will soak up the liquid and will be nice and fluffy. Source: Experience By Nightsong If you add a bit of salt and butter and boiling hot liquid 5 minutes earlier, you can drastically reduce cooking time and energy use. Keep in mind, on HIGH the Microwave uses just as much power as the big burner on a stove. KD and generic copies, which often seems to be from WWII, or maybe the pyramids, to save on shipping costs and warehouse space, really benefit from a hot pre-soak. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home- cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later, the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone. "I was totally humiliated," he moaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes." "What's wrong with that?" asked his mother. "I think it's a wonderful gesture." "We hadn't started eating yet."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A telephone repairman was working late in a big office building and became lost. After a long search of the rambling first floor to find an exit, he spotted a woman at the end of a corridor. "Excuse me, can you tell me how do I get outside?" he asked. "Dial 9," she replied.
Dentist to Patient: "Would you help me out? I'd like you to give a few of your loudest screams?" Patient: "Why, Doc? I didn't feel a thing!" Dentist: "I know, but there are so many people in the waiting room right now, and I don't want to miss the five o'clock foot- ball game."

» Thimnbles Clubs

Today, January 11, in
1569 England's first state lottery was held.
1770 The first shipment of rhubarb was sent to the US
 from London.
1815 U.S. General Andrew Jackson achieved victory at the 
 Battle of New Orleans. The War of 1812 had officially ended 
 on December 24, 1814, with the signing of the Treaty of 
 Ghent. The news of the signing had not reached British 
 troops in time to prevent their attack on New Orleans.
1861 Alabama seceded from the United States.
1867 Benito Juarez returned to the Mexican presidency, 
 following the withdrawal of French troops and the 
 execution of Emperor Maximilian.
1878 In New York, milk was delivered in glass bottles for 
 the first time by Alexander Campbell.
1902 "Popular Mechanics" magazine was published for the first time.
1913 The first sedan-type car was unveiled at the National 
 Automobile Show in New York City. The car was manufactured 
 by the Hudson Motor Company.
1922 At Toronto General Hospital, Leonard Thompson became the 
 first person to be successfully treated with insulin.
1935 Amelia Earhart Putnam became the first woman to fly solo 
 from Hawaii to California.
1942 Japan declared war against the Netherlands. The same day, 
 Japanese forces invaded the Dutch East Indies.
1943 The United States and Britain signed treaties relinquishing 
 extraterritorial rights in China.
1977 France released Abu Daoud, a Palestinian suspected of 
 involvement in the massacre of Israeli athletes at the 1972 
 Munich Olympics.
1978 Two Soviet cosmonauts aboard the Soyuz 27 capsule linked 
 up with the Salyut 6 orbiting space station, where the Soyuz 
 26 capsule was already docked.
1988 U.S. Vice President George Bush met with representatives 
 of independent counsel Lawrence E. Walsh to answer questions 
 about the Iran-Contra affair.
1991 An auction of silver and paintings that had been acquired 
 by the late Ferdinand Marcos and his wife, Imelda, brought 
 in a total of $20.29 million at Christie's in New York.
2014  smiled.


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Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, January 10.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!





Today's International Bonehead Award goes to 3 crooks who got jailed for Robbing Woman As She Lay Dying Of Brain Aneurysm Details at International Bonehead Awards Today, in 2002 In France, the "Official Journal" reported that all women could get the morning-after contraception pill for free in pharmacies. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses." --- Victor Hugo "When you're a professional, you come back no matter what happened the day before." --- Billy Martin "By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." --- Socrates
360 degree background check: The best and most complete Background check you can get. Professional results!

>From Roland HE MUST PAY! Husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her mom and said, "He fought with me again, I am coming to live with you." Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you.”
>From Roland: A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC: THIS IS A FRIGHTENING STATISTIC, PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST WORRISOME IN RECENT YEARS. 45% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. That's scary. It means 55% are running around untreated. ------- If Ruth reads this, you are in trouble, Roland!
Thanks to Cookie for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version California Wine Country
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Daquantrius Shaquill Johnson, Quanique Dontrell Thomas-Hameen, Keith Byron Heckels Jr., all 19, in Wichita, Kansas Three crooks got jailed for Robbing a Woman As She Lay Dying Of Brain Aneurysm Danielle Zimmerman and family Three heartless thugs have been arrested after they allegedly robbed a woman as she lay dying of a brain aneurysm while picking up dinner for her family at a Wichita Taco Bell restaurant. According to police, 43-year-old Danielle Zimmerman suffered a brain aneurysm as she was traveling through a Taco Bell drive-thru lane on the evening of Dec. 29. Zimmerman was later taken to a local hospital where she died the next day. Paramedics and police were dispatched to the scene after customers at the restaurant realized that something was wrong, rushed to Zimmerman's aid and called 911. But in the short time before Zimmerman received help, the three goons you see above allegedly paid her a visit first. Investigators say at least three suspects robbed Zimmerman as she lay dying in her car. The thieves reportedly made off with Zimmerman's wedding ring, purse, cell phone and credit cards. On Friday, Daquantrius Shaquill Johnson (left) and Quanique Dontrell Thomas-Hameen (center) were arrested after investigators received a tip through the Crime Stoppers hotline. Both suspects are 19 years old. Both suspects had been charged and convicted of burglary in the past. A third suspect, 19-year-old Keith Byron Heckels Jr., (right) was arrested when he turned himself in for an unrelated probation violation. Johnson was booked into jail and charged with robbery, criminal possession of a firearm and probation violation. He remains held in lieu of $315,000 bond. Thomas-Hameen was booked into jail and charged with robbery, failure to appear and driving while suspended. He remains held in lieu of $200,500 bond. Heckels was booked into jail and charged with robbery and probation violation. Bail has not been announced in his case. -------- I know all about brain aneurisms. My mother died of one at the same age as Danielle. I had one at age 38 and another one at 44. In my case, I was med-evaced from the Yukon to Vancouver, BC, where they sawed my head open and fixed the busted blood vessel in the brain. My heartfelt condolences go to Kris Zimmerman and sons, and I hope those crooks get tuned up and clued in in jail! Tech Support Pits From: john Re: Crap Cleaner Dear Webby, I have seen you mention crap cleaner. I went on google and found several possible downloads. I was hoping you could tell me witch is the one you recommend. Some of these type of programs create more problems that they solve. thank you john Hi John Just go to my tool box at http://webby.com/tools and grab it from there. That way you get the legitimate one, with the fewest ads trying to sidetrack you while getting to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Dry Out Paint Before Adding To Trash I open the cans and let the paint dry out and dispose of in the trash. I haven't needed to do this in Ocean City, so I am not sure of their legal disposal rules, which is probably the best place to start. Make sure you're "green"! By looneylulu from Ocean City, MD The reaspn for drying out paint cans is so that they don't spill and glue a big garbage bag onto the bottom of your wheelie bin or trash can. That can turn into a very smelly problem. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
>From Irene While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought, I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom. With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. "Just a minute," I said, thinking of a quick solution. "I'll put down newspapers." "It's all right, lady," he responded. "I'm already potty trained."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should brew the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages that it indeed says: "HEBREWS"
A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill in the cash reg- ister of a local grocery store. "Hey, where have you been? I haven't seen you around here!" The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos, went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship. I just got back to the States recently, went to a couple of baseball games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?" The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff - church, church, church..." Confused the twenty replied: "What's a church?"

» Thimnbles Clubs

Today, January 10, in
1840 The penny post, whereby mail was delivered at a standard 
 charge rather than paid for by the recipient, began in 
 Britain.
1861 Florida seceded from the United States.
1863 Prime Minister Gladstone opened the first section of 
 the London Underground Railway system, from Paddington 
 to Farringdon Street.
1870 John D. Rockefeller incorporated Standard Oil.
1901 Oil was discovered at the Spindletop oil field near 
 Beaumont, TX.
1911 Major Jimmie Erickson took the first photograph from 
 an airplane while flying over San Diego, CA.
1920 The League of Nations ratified the Treaty of Versailles, 
 officially ending World War I with Germany.
1928 The Soviet Union ordered the exile of Leon Trotsky.
1949 Vinyl records were introduced by RCA (45 rpm) and 
 Columbia (33.3 rpm).
1978 The Soviet Union launched two cosmonauts aboard a Soyuz 
 capsule for a redezvous with the Salyut VI space laboratory.
1981 In El Salvador, Marxist insurgents launched a 
 "final offensive".
1984 The United States and the Vatican established full 
 diplomatic relations for the first time in more than a 
 century.
1990 Chinese Premier Li Peng ended martial law in Beijing 
 after seven months. He said that crushing pro-democracy 
 protests had saved China from "the abyss of misery."
1990 Time Inc. and Warner Communications Inc. completed a 
 $14 billion merger. The new company, Time Warner, was the 
 world's largest entertainment company.
1994 In Manassas, VA, Lorena Bobbitt went on trial. She 
 had been charged with maliciously wounding her husband John. 
 She was acquitted by reason of temporary insanity.
2000 It was announced that Time-Warner had agreed to buy 
 America On-line (AOL). It was the largest-ever corporate 
 merger priced at $162 billion. The Federal Trade Commission 
 (FTC) approved the deal on December 14, 2000.
2001 American Airlines agreed to acquire most of Trans World 
 Airlines (TWA) assets for about $500 million. The deal 
 brought an end to the financially troubled TWA.
2002 In France, the "Official Journal" reported that all 
 women could get the morning-after contraception pill for 
 free in pharmacies.
2003 North Korea announced that it was withdrawing from the 
 global nuclear arms control treaty and that it had no 
 plans to develop nuclear weapons.
2007 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.3 million feature 
 length films sold and 50 million television episodes sold. 
2014  smiled.


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How to get rid of AOL flags >>> 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, January 9.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Oregon Spousal Abuser, who was Busted While Wearing A "She's Kind Of A Slut" T-Shirt Details at International Bonehead Awards From the history part at the bottom: Today in 1902 New York State introduced a bill to outlaw flirting in public. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"I have never understood why it is "greed" to want to keep the money you've earned, but not greed to want to take somebody else's money." --- Thomas Sowell
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

Two church members were going door to door, and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close and, in fact, bounced back open. She tried again, really put her back into it, and slammed the door again with the same result - the door bounced back open. Convinced these rude young people were sticking their foot in the door, she reared back to give it a slam that would teach them a lesson, when one of them yelled, "Ma'am, STOP! You knocked out your cat with the first slam. If you are going to keep doing that, you are going to get some very expensive vet bills!"
Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm, and Little Johnny asked his mom, "Where'd we get him?" His mother replied, "He came from heaven, Johnny." Johnny said, "Well I can see why they threw HIM out!"
Click on the picture for the large version Canola In China
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Wolfer, 23, Hermiston, Oregon Spousal Abuser Busted While Wearing A "She's Kind Of A Slut" T-Shirt The 23-year-old Oregon man was arrested early Saturday morning for allegedly punching and choking his wife during an argument in front of their three children, according to a Hermiston Police Department summary. Wolfer was booked into the Umatilla County Jail for felony domestic violence and strangulation, a misdemeanor. He is locked up in lieu of $11,000 bond. Perhaps Wolfer’s spouse will wear an “I’m Not With Stupid” shirt at his next court appearance. Tech Support Pits From: Doug Re: AOL Flag Dear Webby, I have never heard anybody calling those chevron forwarding marks "AOL Flag", but I sure will from now on! Once upon a time, long, long ago, you mentioned a program that strips those AOL flags from mails. Do you still have the link to that program? Thanks Doug Dear Doug Just go to my toolbox at http://webby.com/tools and look for a n icon that looks like a traffic sign with an AOL flag on it. The Program is called "STRIP". and it's free, really free, without any sleazy tool bars or browser helpers or hijackers. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Rub Zippers with Candle Wax You can fix a stuck zipper by running a candle up and down on the teeth of the zipper. You should then be able to slide it the back and forth easier. By Gerique from Cleveland, Ohio Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Discovering too late that a watermelon spiked with vodka had accidentally been served to a luncheon meeting of local ministers, the restaurant's owner waited nervously for the clerics' reaction. "Quick, man," he whispered to the waiter, "what did they say?" "Nothing," replied the waiter. "They were all too busy slipping the seeds into their pockets."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

You may have heard about a new bride who was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. Hilda was like that. So when she and her new husband husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Easy! Just carry your own suitcase."
A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a boat trip to Alcatraz, the historic prison island. Others watched with varying degrees of sympathy and irritation as the young children fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail. Finally, they reached the ticket window. "Five tickets, please," the father said. "Two round trip, three one way."

» Snow Flukes

Today, January 9, in
1793 Jean-Pierre Blanchard made the first successful balloon 
 flight in the U.S.
1799 British Prime Minister William Pitt the Younger 
 introduced income tax, at two shillings (10p) in the pound, 
 to raise funds for the Napoleonic Wars.
1861 The state of Mississippi seceded from the United States.
1894 The New England Telephone and Telegraph Company put the 
 first battery-operated switchboard into operation in 
 Lexington, MA.
1902 New York State introduced a bill to outlaw flirting 
in public.
1905 In Russia, the civil disturbances known as the Revolution 
 of 1905 forced Czar Nicholas II to grant some civil rights.
1929 The Seeing Eye was incorporated in Nashville, TN. The 
 company's purpose was to train dogs to guide the blind.
1936 The United States Army adopted the semi-automatic rifle.
1969 The supersonic aeroplane Concorde made its first trial 
 flight, at Bristol.
1972 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth was destroyed by fire 
 in Hong Kong harbor.
1972 British miners went on strike for the first time since 1926.
1986 Kodak got out of the instant camera business after 10 
 years due to a loss in a court battle that claimed that 
 Kodak copied Polaroid patents.
1995 Russian cosmonaut Valeri Poliakov, 51, completed his 
 366th day in outer space aboard the Mir space station, 
 breaking the record for the longest continuous time 
 spent in outer space.
2002 The U.S. Justice Department announced that it was 
 pursuing a criminal investigation of Enron Corp. The 
 company had filed for bankruptcy on December 2, 2001.
2003 Archaeologists announced that they had found five 
 more chambers in the tomb of Qin Shihuang, China's first 
 emperor. The rooms were believed to cover about 750,000 
 square feet. 
2014  smiled.


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Fix IE Window size 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, January 8.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a A New York woman, who was Jailed After Starving Baby Son To Death, Nearly Starving Daughter To Death Details at International Bonehead Awards Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When I'm working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong. --- R. Buckminster Fuller (1895 - 1983)
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb. When the driver asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him. "Does your dog have a license?" he asked. "Oh, no," the man said, "He doesn't need one; I usually do the driving."
A man meets a guru in the road. The man asks the guru, "Which way is success?" The berobed, bearded sage speaks not, but points to a place off in the distance. The man, thrilled by the prospect of quick and easy success, rushes off in the appropriate direction. Suddenly, there comes a loud "SPLAT." Eventually, the man limps back, tattered and stunned, assuming he must have misinterpreted the message. He repeats his question to the guru, who again points silently in the same direction. The man obediently walks off once more. This time the splat is deafening, and when the man crawls back, he is bloody, broken, tattered, and irate. "I asked you which way is success," he screams at the guru. "I followed the direction you indicated. And all I got was splatted! No more of this pointing! Talk!" Only then does the guru speak, and what he says is this: "Success IS that way. Just a little PAST splat."
Click on the picture for the large version Learn to land over there ====>
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Louisa Givens, 21, Ronkonkoma, NY Jailed After Starving Baby Son To Death, Nearly Starved Daughter To Death Louisa Givens, a 21-year-old New York woman, has been indicted after she allegedly starved her 10-month-old son to death. According to Suffolk County prosecutors, Givens' indictment came after she was originally arrested on charges seven months ago. Police say Givens called 911 on May 19th to report that she found her son, Kayden Givens, unresponsive and not breathing. The boy was rushed to Brookhaven Memorial Hospital where he was pronounced dead. Kayden's older sister, 2-year-old Ava Johnson, was also found to be suffering from malnutrition and dehydration. She was taken to Stony Brook University Hospital where she required nine days of treatment. An investigation into the death revealed that Givens had left the child unattended for at least 17 hours prior to her 911 call. An autopsy and months of toxicology tests revealed that the boy died from malnutrition and dehydration. Givens was booked into jail and charged with second-degree manslaughter, reckless endangerment and endangering the welfare of a child. Givens remains held in lieu of a half-million dollar bond. Tech Support Pits From: David Re: Full Size Browser default Dear Webby, I've got a stupid question for you. It used to be, when I clicked on a link that opened a new page, it would come up as a full new page. Now when I click the link, I get a half page. I used to know how to change this but I haven't had to do it for so long that I've forgotten. A little help please. How do I change the size of a new page? David Dear David Viewing pages full size has gone out of fashion, because you don't see what might be opening behind it. Also, with the higher resolutions commonly used nowadays, you can comfortably have two pages open side by side if you squish them a bit. F11 toggles a window to full screen and back. To set full screen as the default, even though Microsoft has decided it is a dumb idea and refuses to tell you how to do it, follow this top secret rigmarole: Close all browser windows but one. Open a new window from a link on the remaining window. Close the old window (not the new one that just opened up). Adjust the window to be the size you want all the new windows to be (you cannot use the maximize button for this, you have to actually squish or stretch the size of the window to be what you want the windows to automatically open up as). Hold down the CTRL key while closing the window. From now on, all your new windows should open up to that size until perform a similar process telling IE that you want all new windows to be the new size. Most likely what occurred is that you manually sized a window to that size, closed it, and IE remembered that as your preferred window size. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easing Leg Cramps My legs tend to cramp at night. I tried elevating on a pillow but I always lost it at night. So I started putting my heavier reading pillow, the kind that fits behind you and props you up, under my legs at night. I never lose my pillow, and it has really helped with the leg cramp. By ann from Climax, NC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
John and Bob were two of the bitterest golf rivals at the club. Neither man trusted the others arithmetic. One day they were playing a heated match and watching each other like hawks. After holing out on the fourth green and marking his six on the scorecard, John asked Bob, "What'd you have?" Bob went through the motions of mentally counting up. "Six!" he said and then hastily corrected himself. "No--a five." Calmly John marked the scorecard, saying out loud "Eight!" "Eight?" Bob said, "I couldn't have had eight." John said, "Nope, you claimed six, then changed it to five. But actually you had seven." "Then why did you mark down eight?" asked Bob. John told him, "One stroke penalty, for improving your LIE."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Working as a computer instructor for an adult-education program at a community college, I am keenly aware of the gap in computer knowledge between my younger and older students. My observations were confirmed the day a new student walked into our library area and glanced at the encyclopedia volumes stacked on a bookshelf. "What are all these books?" he asked. Somewhat surprised, I replied that they were encyclopedias. "Really?" he said. "Someone printed out the whole CD?"
An irritated father complained to his buddy. "When I was a kid, my parents sent me to my room without supper if I misbehaved. But my son has his own color TV, telephone, computer, every computer game and CD player in his room!" "So how do you handle it?" his friend asked. "I send him to MY room!"

» Corkscrews

Today, January 8, in
1642 Astronomer Galileo Galilei died in Arcetri, Italy.
1675 The first corporation was charted in the United States. 
 The company was the New York Fishing Company.
1815 The Battle of New Orleans began. The War of 1812 had 
 officially ended on December 24, 1814, with the signing of 
 the Treaty of Ghent. The news of the signing had not reached 
 British troops in time to prevent their attack on New Orleans.
1838 Alfred Vail demonstrated a telegraph code he had devised 
 using dots and dashes as letters. The code was the predecessor 
 to Samuel Morse's code.
1856 Borax (hydrated sodium borate) was discovered by Dr. 
 John Veatch.
1877 Crazy Horse (Tashunca-uitco) and his warriors fought 
 their final battle against the U.S. Cavalry in Montana.
1886 The Severn Railway Tunnel, Britain's longest, was opened.
1889 The tabulating machine was patented by Dr. Herman Hollerith. 
 His firm, Tabulating Machine Company, later became 
 International Business Machines Corporation (IBM).
1900 U.S. President McKinley placed Alaska under military rule.
1908 A catastrophic train collision occurred in the smoke-filled 
 Park Avenue Tunnel in New York City. Seventeen were killed 
 and thirty-eight were injured. The accident caused a public 
 outcry and increased demand for electric trains.
1935 The spectrophotometer was patented by A.C. Hardy.
1964 U.S. President Lyndon Johnson declared a "War on Poverty."
1973 Secret peace talks between the United States and 
 North Vietnam resumed near Paris, France.
1973 The trial opened in Washington, of seven men accused 
 of bugging Democratic Party headquarters in the Watergate 
 apartment complex in Washington, DC.
1982 American Telephone & Telegraph (AT&T) settled the 
 Justice Department's antitrust lawsuit against it by 
 agreeing to divest itself of the 22 Bell System companies.
1982 The U.S. Justice Department withdrew an antitrust 
 suit against IBM.
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush collapsed during a 
 state dinner in Tokyo. White House officials said Bush was 
 suffering from stomach flu.
1998 Ramzi Yousef was sentenced to life in prison for his 
 role of mastermind behind the World Trade Center bombing 
 in New York.
1998 Scientists announced that they had discovered that 
 galaxies were accelerating and moving apart and at 
 faster speeds.
1999 The top two executives of Salt Lake City's Olympic 
 Organizing Committee resigned amid disclosures that 
 civic boosters had given cash to members of the 
 International Olympic Committee.
2009 In Egypt, archeologists entered a 4,300 year old 
 pyramid and discovered the mummy of Queen Sesheshet. 
2014  smiled.


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How to get rid of the "Conduit" hijacker? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, January 7.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a A California woman, who was arrested for burglaring the home of an ex, murdering the cat and stealing stuff. Details at International Bonehead Awards Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in. --- Bradley's Bromide Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you! --- Tommy Smothers
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

Resume bloopers: "While I am open to the initial nature of an assignment, I am decidedly disposed that it be so oriented as to at least partially incorporate the experience enjoyed heretofore and that it be configured so as to ultimately lead to the application of more rarefied facets of financial management as the major sphere of responsibility." Try the Salvation Army Thrift Shop. They are always looking for empty shirts. ------------- "I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award." Tell Greg not to apply here either. ------------- "Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job." If somebody calls you after 5:30, it will be a telemarketer. ------------- My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage. Don't call us, we'll call you. ------------- I am very computer laterate both on Apple, Ipad and X-box and can sove most oficce chalenges. Once you beat the computer at Solitaire, try spelling. ------------- Very proficcient at all office procedures as long as I can use a computer and have acess to the net. I already have a facebook account and can upload any kind of file. Don't call before 11 am. Don't worry, we won't call after 11 am either.
The widow lay crying on her psychiatrist's couch. "We were married twenty-five years before he died," she said, dabbing away a tear. "Never had an argument in all those years." "Amazing," said the doctor. "How did you do it?" "I outweighed him by sixty pounds and he was a coward."
Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Nellie Marie Palacios, Santa Maria, 43, California A California woman, who was arrested for burglaring the home of an ex, murdering the cat and stealing stuff. Nellie Palacios, a 43-year-old California woman, was jailed Thursday after she broke into an ex-boyfriend's home and stabbed a cat to death. According to the Santa Barbara County Sheriff's Office, deputies were dispatched to an Orcutt residence at around 3:30 p.m. Thursday after a man called to report that his ex girlfriend had gone into a home and began removing several paintings from the walls. When deputies arrived at the residence, they detained Palacios at the scene while continuing to investigate why she was at the residence and what had transpired inside the home. Investigators say a search of the property turned up a cat that had been stabbed to death before it was placed inside a doghouse located in the yard. Deputies also recovered a knife from under the doghouse that was covered with blood and cat hair. Further investigation revealed that the house didn't belong to a cousin of her, as she claimed, but instead belonged to Palacios' ex-boyfriend. During questioning, Palacios told deputies that she stabbed the cat in self defense. Several paintings and other items that had been removed from the home were found inside her car. She was booked into the Santa Barbara County jail and charged with burglary and animal cruelty. Her bail has been set at $50,000. Tech Support Pits From: Ron Re: How to get rid of "Conduit" hijacker? Dear Webby, Evidently I was not awake enough when I was installing some freeware on a couple of computers because when I looked at my browsers I had a tool bar for Conduit, so I removed it. However, now every time I restart the computers I get the message “ There was a problem starting C:\users\xxxxxx\AppData\Local\ Conduit\Background container\BackgroundContainer.dll.” I have tried everything in my limited knowledge to cure this problem, so I thought I would come to the expert and see if he has any thoughts. I am unsure of which site the problem occurred, because I was doing many downloads to update the computers. Please help. Thanks, Ron R Dear Ron Here is the information for getting rid of that Conduit infection: http://www.techsupportall.com/how-to-re ... it-search/ Tedious, but not difficult. You just have to be stubborn and wade through it all to the very end. I have a hunch, after that you will be extremely picky about which "freeware" you really need. Stuff like Conduit really give freeware a bad name. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easing Leg Cramps My legs tend to cramp at night. I tried elevating on a pillow but I always lost it at night. So I started putting my heavier reading pillow, the kind that fits behind you and props you up, under my legs at night. I never lose my pillow, and it has really helped with the leg cramp. By ann from Climax, NC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A missionary discovered a tribe of Indians in the Amazon, who had never recorded a baptism, confirm- ation or marriage. The missionary soon rectified the situation by baptizing and confirming everyone. He also married every couple that walked by and desired such. Later, the tribal chief told the Bishop the tribe had never had so much fun. The bishop asked the chief which part they enjoyed the most. "The marriage service," the chief said, smiling. "We all got new wives!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

This one is a Classic: After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other's throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counsellor's office, the counselor jumped right in and opened the floor for discussion. "What seems to be the problem?" Immediately, the husband held his long face down without anything to say. In contrast, the wife began talking 90 miles an hour, describing all the wrongs within their marriage. After 15 minutes of listening to the wife, the counselor went over to her, picked her up by her waist, kissed her passionately and sat her back down. Afterwards, the wife sat speechless. The marriage counselor looked over at the husband, who stared in disbelief. The counselor said to the husband, "Your wife NEEDS that at least twice a week!" The husband scratched his head and replied: "I can bring her over on Tuesdays and Thursdays."
One night while I was cat-sitting my daughter's indoor feline, it escaped outside. When it failed to return the following morning, I found the beast clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down, I called the fire department. "We don't do that anymore," the woman dispatcher said. "One guy missed his shot and hit a street light by accident." When I persisted, she was polite but firm. "The cat will come down when it gets hungry enough." How do you know that?" I asked. "Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?" she said. Two hours later the cat was back, meowing for breakfast.

» Schwerin Castle

Today, January 7, in
1558 Calais, the last English possession on mainland France, 
 was recaptured by the French.
1610 Galileo Galilei sighted four of Jupiter's moons. He 
 named them Io, Europa, Ganymede, and Callisto.
1782 The Bank of North America opened in Philadelphia. It was 
 the first commercial bank in the United States.
1785 French aeronaut/balloonist Jean-Pierre Blanchard 
 successfully made the first air-crossing of the English 
 Channel from the English coast to France.
1789 Americans voted for the electors that would choose 
 George Washington to be the first U.S. president.
1887 Thomas Stevens completed the first worldwide bicycle 
 trip. He started his trip in April 1884. Stevens and his 
 bike traveled 13,500 miles in almost three years time.
1894 W.K. Dickson received a patent for motion picture film.
1896 "Fannie Farmer Cookbook" cookbook was published.
1904 The distress signal "CQD" was established. Two years 
 later "SOS" became the radio distress signal because it 
 was quicker to send by wireless radio.
1927 Transatlantic telephone service Service began between 
 New York and London. 31 calls were made on this first day.
1927 In Hinckley IL, the Harlem Globetrotters played their 
 first game.
1932 Chancellor Heinrich Brüning declared that Germany 
 cannot, and will not, resume reparations payments.
1942 The World War II siege of Bataan began.
1949 The announcement of the first photograph of genes was 
 shown at the University of Southern California, L.A.
1953 U.S. President Harry Truman announced the development 
 of the hydrogen bomb.
1954 The Duoscopic TV receiver was unveiled this day. The 
 TV set allowed the watching of two different shows at the 
 same time.
1959 The United States recognized Fidel Castro's new 
 government in Cuba.
1975 OPEC agreed to raise crude oil prices by 10%, which 
 began a time of world economic inflation.
1979 Vietnamese forces captured the Cambodian capital of 
 Phnom Penh, overthrowing the Khmer Rouge government.
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed legislation that 
 authorized $1.5 billion in loans for the bail out of 
 Chrysler Corp.
1989 Crown Prince Akihito became the emperor of Japan 
 following the death of his father, Emperor Hirohito.
1990 The Leaning Tower of Pisa was closed to the public. 
 The accelerated rate of "leaning" raised fears for the 
 safety of its visitors.
1996 One of the biggest blizzards in U.S. history hit 
 the eastern states. More than 100 deaths were later 
 blamed on the severe weather.
1998 Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky signed an 
 affidavit denying that she had an affair with U.S. 
 President Clinton.
1999 U.S. President Clinton went on trial before the Senate. 
 It was only the second time in U.S. history that an 
 impeached president had gone to trial. Clinton was later 
 acquitted of perjury and obstruction of justice charges.
2002 Microsoft Corp. chairman Bill Gates introduced a new 
 device code named Mira. The device was tablet-like and 
 was a cross between a handheld computer and a TV remote 
 control.
2009 Russia shut off all gas supplies to Europe through 
 Ukraine. Prime Minister Vladimir Putin publicly endorsed 
 the move and urged greater international involvement in 
 the energy dispute.
2010 Apple's iPad was unveiled. 
2014  smiled.


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Sonic Activation Module alert 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, January 6.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a A Florida man who was arrested for giving dope, booze, cigarettes to minor, and letting him drive Details at International Bonehead Awards Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you. --- Don Marquis (1878 - 1937) A fellow doesn't last long on what he has done. He has to keep on delivering." --- Carl Hubbell
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

Thanks to Dianne for this one: A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets, biscuits, all sorts of things. The grandad is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy boy." Another outburst and she hears the grandad calmly say : "It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy." At the checkout the little horror is throwing items out of the trolley. Grandad says again in a controlled voice : "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool William." Very impressed, she goes outside to where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She says : "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandad." "Thanks," says the grandpa. "But I am William. The little bastard's name is Kevin."
Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at four forty four a.m. by his ringing telephone . . . "Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an angry voice. Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up. The next morning, at precisely four forty four a.m., Bernard called his neighbor back . . . "Good morning, Mr. Williams. I just called to tell you that I don't HAVE a dog."
Thanks to Terry for the picture of a sandpiper she caught at her creek yesterday. Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Rusty Douglas Johnson, 41, Rockledge, Floriduh Arrested for giving dope, booze, cigarettes to minor, and letting him drive A Rockledge pair has been arrested after police say they gave a child marijuana, beer and cigarettes and then let the child drive a car, according to police documents. Rockledge Police would not release the name, age or sex of the child, who they say was under the care of the two people they arrested. Rusty Douglas Johnson, 41, and Kim Johnson, 32, were arrested Thursday and booked on charges of child abuse and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Police determined the child was given marijuana during four separate smoke sessions, according to the documents. While it sounds like a custody dispute with a vindictive ex, and the "child" being close to, but not quite 18, the law is very picky about those things. Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Sonic Activation Module alert Hi, Webby. For some reason that I can't fathom I have that silly "Sonic Activation Module" alert popping up once again. Why do I have it? How to get rid of it permanently? And do I need to have computer technician do it? On another front, how can I tell if my computer is Wireless compatible? Thanks for all your help. You're a lifesaver and have saved all of us lots of money. Good work, Wendy Dear Wendy That is due to either an incomplete installation of a Sonic program like Roxio or most DVD reader/writer programs, and many music programs, or an incomplete UNinstallation of one of those programs. The easiest way to fix that is to dig up the CDs, that came with your computer, look for anything related to DVD, sound, music,etc., and has the word Sonic on it somewhere. Then run the installation from that CD again, but don't stop half way through, even if it is rather tedious. The other method is to get the troubleshooter for Windows XP, Windows Vista, and Windows 7: Program Install and Uninstall Troubleshooter That might save you from having to search for the installation CD for that software, but is probably a bit tedious too. The easiest way to tell if your computer is wireless compatible is to contact the vendor, who sold you that machine. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Home made Checkers Board You can make your own checkers game by saving plastic milk bottle caps. You need two different colors, 12 checkers for each player. If all your bottle caps are the same color, color the top of half the caps with permanent marker. Then make a game board using a square piece of card board. Use a ruler to measure and draw squares with a marker. A checker board is 8 by 8 squares of alternating colors, the same as a chess board. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A Congressman was once asked about his attitude toward whiskey. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But, if you mean the elixir of Christmas cheer, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time. The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles. All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice, "Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you..."
Scientists were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang. Apparently, that sound was "Uh oh!" ------------- The "scientists" in the Antarctic, who believed Al Gore and in fudging figures more than actual instruments, and got stuck in real ice, that was not acting according to their wacky theories, got rescued by a Chinese helicopter ferrying them in small bunches first to the Chinese ice breaker, which is also stuck, and then from there to the Australian ice breaker, which is stuck too. The French ice breaker, that was going to show off it's awesome power, appears to have gotten North and South mixed up and is headed in the wrong direction. The biggest US ice breaker is now headed there, hoping to open a channel for the Australian and the Chinese ice breakers, before the local mid-summer wanes and the weather cools off. If theose ice breakers don't get out before it gets cold, they might be stuck there for years. I find that hilarious!

» Best Folk Songs

Today, January 6, in
0871 England's King Alfred defeated the Danes at the Battle 
 of Ashdown.
1205 Philip of Swabia was crowned as King of the Romans.
1453 Frederick III erected Austria into an Archduchy.
1540 King Henry VIII of England was married to Anne of 
 Cleves, his fourth wife.
1720 The Committee of Inquiry on the South Sea Bubble 
 published its findings.
1838 Samuel Morse publicly demonstrated the telegraph 
 for the first time.
1896 The first American women’s six-day bicycle race was 
 held at Madison Square Garden in New York City.
1900 In India, it was reported that millions of people were 
 dying from starvation.
1900 Off of South Africa, the British seized the German steamer 
 Herzog. The boat was released on January 22, 1900.
1930 The first diesel-engine automobile trip was completed 
 after a run of 792 miles, Indianapolis, to New York City, NY.
1945 The Battle of the Bulge ended with 130,000 German and 
 77,000 Allied casualties.
1950 Britain recognized the Communist government of China.
1967 U.S. and South Vietnamese forces launched a major 
 offensive, known as Operation "Deckhouse V", in the 
 Mekong River delta.
1987 After a 29-year lapse, the Ford Thunderbird was presented 
 with the Motor Trend Car of the Year Award. It was the first 
 occurrence of a repeat winner of the award.
1994 Figure skater Nancy Kerrigan was clubbed on the right leg 
 by an assailant at Cobo Arena in Detroit, MI. Four men were 
 later sentenced to prison for the attack, including Tonya 
 Harding's ex-husband.
1998 The spacecraft Lunar Prospect was launched into orbit 
 around the moon. The craft was crashed into the moon, in an 
 effort to find water under the lunar surface, on July 31, 1999.
2013  smiled.


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Pictures floating on a page 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, January 5.

Yes, I know, the voting is not working.
It never does at the begin of the year. Usually by about 
the 5th ot 6th of January the good people at the 
Ezinefinder have received enough complaints, that they
reset it for the current year. 

Since it affects ALL newsletters equally, it's not a big 
panic. I'll tell you when they got it fixed.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Speedy topless dope seller Details at International Bonehead Awards Too bad you were not here today. You would have almost laughed yourself a hernia. We got more snow last night and today I saw Billy with his green John Deere drive by, to do the neighbor's sidewalk. So I ran out to catch him. I usually wear shorts unless I go out. Well, I was sprinting from the deck towards 2nd Street, and in the light overcast with no shadows did not see the hip high snow drift half way to 2nd Street. When I hit that hip high dune at high speed, I went flying. Instant Angel. Yes, complete face plant. Even I had to laugh. Without my arms being able to touch ground, it was surprisingly difficult getting up. I did manage, though, waded through the dune and caught Billy. It sure would have looked funny, if anybody had watched, the way I went flying when I hit that snow drift! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
"Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work." --- Aristotle
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

We were all celebrating our friend's 80th birthday when the mail arrived. In the mail was a summons for my friend to appear for jury duty. My friend called the court clerk. "I received a jury duty summons, but I have an age exemption." The clerk said, "Ma'am, you need to fill out an exemption form to be granted the exemption." "I did that last year." "Ma'am, you have to do it every year." "Why? Are you worried I might get younger ?"
Is the bank account for a girdle business called a truss fund? Or is that stretching it a bit.
Thanks to Terry for the picture of a robin she caught at the creek yesterday. Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Claudia Salinas, 27, West Palm Beach, Floriduh Speedy topless dope seller arrested From NYDailyNews Claudia Salinas, a 27-year-old Florida woman, was jailed Monday after she was allegedly caught driving naked with cocaine and a large amount of cash in her car. According to the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office, Salinas was stopped by a deputy while driving in the area of Okeechobee Blvd and Baywinds Drive after she was caught driving 75 mph in a 25 mph zone. While approaching the vehicle, the deputy noticed that Salinas wasn't wearing a top and the car smelled like marijuana. The deputy asked Salinas to cover herself and then called in a drug detecting canine unit. Deputies searched Salinas' car after the dog alerted to the presence of drugs. Powdered cocaine, crack cocaine and $1,000 cash was recovered from the vehicle. She was booked into jail and charged with trafficking cocaine. Although she was released from jail, she was re-arrested Monday after violating the terms of her release. Tech Support Pits From: Carina Re: Floating pictures Dear Webby, How do I fix pictures of carvings, that I want to sell, into pictures where they float on the page, like in catalogs? Thanks Carina Dear Carina Dye a sheet with the exact same color as you have for your page background, or paint some plywood with that color. Then set up the items as far in front of that background as you can, and still have background margins on all sides. Take the pictures with a remote slave flash at least an arms length to the side and above the camera, just like old time photographers did with their flash pans. If you want warmer colors, use a 250 Watt Quartz worklight, and put some duck tape over your camera flash. With some cameras you can disable the flash from the menu. Once you have the pictures on the computer, use the Magic Wand selector and select the background. You may have to use fairly high tolerance to grab all the background, but be careful not to grab any of the foreground. Set the background color in your pallette to a solid color exactly the same as your page background color. Now, when you hit DELETE, the selected picture background is deleted and replaced with the page background. Next set the transparency to the background color. You may think you got the exact page color, but different browsers and monitors will show a slight difference. So just turn the background transparent. The reason we used closely related colors for the wall and the cut is because of the fuzzy anti-aliasing used to smooth the jaggies from the cut. If you ignore that, you will wind up with amateurish halos around your pictures. For an extra touch you can add a drop shadow. Use 50% more blur than offset. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Dip-It to Clean Stainless Coffee Pots There is a product called Dip It - you just pour a package along with boiling water into the pot and all the YUK will float to the surface and inside is shiny steel! The Dip It powder works so much better than the cleaner they also offer - you can find it anywhere! By Villette R. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A woman went to her dentist to have her dentures adjusted for the fifth time. She said they still didn’t fit. “Well,” said the dentist “I’ll do it again this time, but no more. There’s no reason why these shouldn’t fit your mouth easily.” “Who said anything about my mouth?” the woman answered.“They don’t fit in the glass!”
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>Thanks to Dave for this story: Aaron came home from school one day, all banged up, bloodied, and bruised. His father asked him what on earth had happened. "Well, dad, it's like this," Aaron began. "I challenged Larry to a duel and you know how that goes...I gave him his choice of weapons." "Uh huh," said the father. "That seems fair." "I know...but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"
The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asked. "Sweetheart," she sobbed, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out of the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone," she sobbed again. "I found that the cat had eaten it!" "Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry. We'll get a new cat tomorrow."

» Balls

Today, January 5, in
1781 Richmond, VA, was burned by a British naval expedition 
 led by Benedict Arnold.
1885 The Long Island Railroad Company became the first to 
 offer piggy-back rail service which was the transportation 
 of farm wagons on trains.
1896 It was reported by The Austrian newspaper that Wilhelm 
 Roentgen had discovered the type of radiation that became 
 known as X-rays.
1900 In Ireland, Nationalist leader John Edward Redmond 
 called for a revolt against British rule.
1903 The general public could use the Pacific cable for 
 the very first time.
1914 Ford Motor Company announced that there would be a 
 new daily minimum wage of $5 and an eight-hour workday.
1933 Construction of the Golden Gate Bridge began.
1940 The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) got its 
 very first demonstration of FM radio.
1956 In the Peanuts comic strip, Snoopy walked on two legs 
 for the first time.
1972 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon ordered the development 
 of the space shuttle.
1998 U.S. Representative Sonny Bono was murdered.
2002 A 15 year-old student pilot, Charles Bishop, crashed a 
 small plane into a building in Tampa, FL. Bishop was about 
 to begin a flying lesson when he took off without permission 
 and without an instructor.
2013  smiled.


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Don't frantically save during power problems! 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, January 4.

More goofy town names from James:
Study Butte, TX
Titcum Beach, OR
Oral, SD
Lesbos Island, Greece
Wet Beaver Creek, AZ
Assawoman Bay, DE
Blowtown, PA 
Bumpass, VA


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Florida hooker, who texted her offer to a cop Details at International Bonehead Awards
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Nothing is stronger than habit. --- Ovid There is no nonsense so gross that society will not, at some time, make a doctrine of it and defend it with every weapon of communal stupidity. --- Robertson Davies Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy." --- Albert Einstein
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

>From Erin I was having trouble with the idea of turning 30 and was oversensitive to any signs of advancing age. When I found a prominent gray hair in my bangs, I pointed to my forehead. "Have you seen this?" I indignantly asked my husband. "What?" he asked. "The wrinkles?" He was exiled to the old couch in the garage.
Proper attire is required in the cafeteria at the University of Maine. To enforce that rule, the management posted this notice: "Shoes are required to eat in this cafeteria." Next to it, a student added, "Socks can eat wherever they want."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Schquita Alaysha Warren, Pensacola Florida hooker arrested after texting offer to cop From NYDailyNews A Pensacola woman was arrested on prostitution charges after she accidentally solicited an Escambia County Sheriff’s investigator by cellphone, the Sheriff’s Office said. The investigator reportedly received a text from an unknown individual on his county-issued phone asking if he wanted to “have fun,” the release said. An investigation revealed the texts were from Schquita Alaysha Warren, 27, who reportedly believed that the number belonged to an acquaintance named “Sam,” the release said. Posing as Sam, the investigator arranged to meet with Warren at a local motel for paid sex, according to the report. At the motel, Warren was arrested and charged with prostitution. Tech Support Pits From: Dianne Re: AutoSave Dear Webby, In XP and W7 you can set programs to save automatically every five seconds. Dianne Dear Dianne Itis the saving during a power failure, that corrupts and trashes hard drives. Windows opens the File Allocation table to mark down the locations of the saved file. Since an edited file is usualy in many fragments all over, that is not a negigible or instant task. If the power goes out while the file allocation table is open, then most likely your hard drive is cooked. Dead. Please refrain from frantically saving while the power fizzles. I once lost a perfectly good hard drive that way. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Dip-It to Clean Stainless Coffee Pots There is a product called Dip It - you just pour a package along with boiling water into the pot and all the YUK will float to the surface and inside is shiny steel! The Dip It powder works so much better than the cleaner they also offer - you can find it anywhere! By Villette R. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The 104-year-old building that had served as the priory and primary student residence of the small Catholic university where I work was about to be demolished. As the wrecker's ball began to strike, I sensed the anxiety and sadness ex- perienced by one of the older monks whose order had founded the college. "This must be difficult to watch, Father," I said. "The tradition associated with that building, the memories of all the students and monks who lived and worked there. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you." "It's worse than that," the monk replied. "I think I left my iPad in there."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

When I was visiting a friend who lived on the edge of a wilderness preserve, we drove along a rutted trail, and we saw a small creek ahead whose bridge was under water. "We have a serious beaver problem," our friend said. "They build dams that cause the creek to flood. Forest rangers take down the dams, and the beavers rebuild them." As we got closer, we could see a large scoreboard posted by the bridge. It read: BEAVERS 6 RANGERS 5
When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed. The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license. He inspected his photo for a moment and commented to the clerk, "I was standing in line so long, I ended up looking pretty grouchy in this picture." The woman beside him peered over his shoulder, then reassured him, "It's okay. That's how you're going to look when the cops pull you over anyway."

» Moonbeams

Today, January 4, in
1884 The socialist Fabian Society was founded in London.
1885 Dr. William Grant performed the first successful appendectomy.
1935 Bob Hope was heard for the first time on network radio
1936 The first pop music chart based on national sales was published 
 by "Billboard" magazine.
1944 The attack on Monte Cassino was launched by the British Fifth 
 Army in Italy.
1948 Britain granted independence to Burma.
1951 During the Korean conflict, North Korean and Communist Chinese 
 forces captured the city of Seoul.
1953 Tufted plastic carpeting was introduced by Barwick Mills.
1958 The Soviet satellite Sputknik I fell to the earth 
 from its orbit. The craft had been launched on 
 October 4, 1957.
1960 French author Albert Camus died in an automobile 
 accident at age 46.
1962 New York City introduced a train that operated without 
 conductors and motormen.
1965 The Fender Guitar Company was sold to CBS for 
 $13 million.
1974 U.S. President Nixon refused to hand over tape recordings 
 and documents subpoenaed by the Senate Watergate Committee.
1981 The Broadway show "Frankenstein" lost an estimated $2 M, 
 when it opened and closed on the same night.
1984 Wayne ‘The Great One’ Gretzky scored eight points 
 (four goals and four assists) for the second time in his 
 National Hockey League (NHL) career. Edmonton’s Oilers 
 defeated the Minnesota North Stars, 12-8. The game was 
 the highest-scoring NHL game to date.
1990 Deposed Panamanian leader Manuel Noriega was arraigned 
 in U.S. federal district court in Miami on drug-trafficking 
 charges.
1991 The U.N. Security Council voted unanimously to condemn 
 Israel's treatment of the Palestinians in the occupied 
 territories.
1997 The Greek Cypriot government signed an agreement to 
 buy S-300 surface-to-air missiles from Russia.
1999 A drifting Nicaraguan fishing boat was found by the 
 Norwegian oil tanker Joelm. The fisherman had been lost at 
 sea for 35 days after the engine of their vessel quit.
1999 Former professional wrestler Jesse Ventura was sworn 
 in as Minnesota's 37th governor.
2006 Nancy Pelosi became Speaker of the U.S. House of 
 Representatives, the first woman to hold the position.
2010 In Dubai, United Arab Emirates, the Burj Dubai 
 (Dubai Tower) opened as the world's tallest tower at 
 2,625 feet. 
2013  smiled.


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Should you try to save during power failurs? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, January 3.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!




Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a SC woman stabs fiancee over wedding color dispute Details at International Bonehead Awards
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home. --- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

>From Nanarina An elderly couple is attending Mass. About halfway through, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?' He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'
The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning. "I'm sorry," she said, "Mr. Bradford's on another line." "This is Mr. Ingram's office," the caller said. "We'd like to know if he's bullish or bearish right now." "He's talking to his wife," the secretary replied. "Right now I'd say he's sheepish."
Thanks to Alianne for this: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Krysta James, 34, Blythewood, SC SC woman Krysta James, stabs fiance on Christmas in wedding colors fight From NYDailyNews COLUMBIA, S.C. — Richland County deputies say a 34-year-old woman stabbed her fiancé on Christmas Day after they argued over what colors should be used in their wedding. Investigators say the man was trying to leave a home near Blythewood after the argument when Krysta James attacked him around 8:30 p.m. Wednesday. Deputies say the man was stabbed in the upper body, but his injuries weren't life-threatening. James is charged with criminal domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature. She remains in jail on a $10,000 bond. The wedding may be postponed or off. Tech Support Pits From: Nellie Re: Saving during power failure Dear Webby, Is it true that you should not try to save stuff while the electricity is failing? I have a few seconds on my UPS to bridge short blips, but was told not to frantically try to save anything, in case the blip turns into a longer outage. What's the real story? Nellie Dear Nellie That advice is absolutely correct. If you are trying to save a long document or large spreadsheet and the write power fizzles out while saving, you most likely trash that document. At best, you will be able to re-use the oldest parts of it, but you most likely will miss the newest ones. If your data is important to you, get a UPS that can run your machine for a few minutes and allow you to properly save and shut down. Forget about the fakes built into power bars. They are only good for a second or two, less if you got something in every outlet of that power bar. With a real UPS plug ONLY the computer in, and maybe the monitor. If you can't do a formal save and shut-down by the light of the monitor, then get one of those $2.49 solar lawn lights. They won't take precious battery power from the UPS and give you plenty of light for an orderly shut-down. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Grocery List in Cell Phone I keep my grocery list on the "notepad" of my cell phone, so that when I go to the store, all I have to do is check on my phone to see what I need. No more forgotten grocery list at home. I always have my cell phone with me. By Pam from Pittsburgh, PA My dad told me that to keep his memory sharp, he memorizes his shopping list, without ever writing it down. He is 90+. So I am now doing the same. Initially I forgot the odd item, but I am getting better. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The duffer muffed his tee shot into the woods, then hit into a few trees, then proceeded to hit across the fairway into another woods. Finally, after banging away several more times, he proceeded to hit into a sand trap. All the while, he'd noticed that the club professional had been watching. "What club should I use now?" he asked the pro. "I don't know," the pro replied. "What game are you playing?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Two men who work in the same office are talking about their sons who are in their first year of college. "You know," says one, "my boy's letters nowadays always send me to the dictionary." "You're lucky," says the other. "My son's letters always send me to the bank."
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" His wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here."

» Moonbeams

Today, January 3, in
1496 References in Leonardo da Vinci notebooks suggested 
 that he tested his flying machine. The test didn't succeed 
and he didn't try to fly again for several years.
1521 Pope Leo X excommunicated Martin Luther.

1777 The Battle of Princeton took place in the War of 
 Independence, in which George Washington defeated the British 
 forces, led by Cornwallis.
1823 Stephen F. Austin received a grant from the Mexican 
 government and began colonization in the region of the 
 Brazos River in Texas.
1833 Britain seized control of the Falkland Islands in the 
 South Atlantic. About 150 years later, Argentina seized the 
 islands from the British, but Britain took them back after 
 a 74-day war.
1868 The Shogunate was abolished in Japan and Meiji dynasty 
 was restored.
1871 Henry W. Bradley patented oleomargarine.
1888 The drinking straw was patented by Marvin C. Stone.
1924 English explorer Howard Carter discovered the sarcophagus 
of Tutankhamen in the Valley of the Kings, near Luxor, Egypt.
1925 In Italy, Mussolini announced that he would take 
 dictatorial powers.
1947 In Trenton, NJ, Al Herrin, passed away at age 92. He had 
 claimed that he had not slept at all during his life.
1957 The Hamilton Watch Company introduced the first electric 
 wrist watch.
1959 In the U.S., Alaska became the 49th state.
1961 The U.S. severed diplomatic relations with Cuba.
1962 Pope John XXIII excommunicated Cuban prime minister 
 Fidel Castro.
1980 Conservationist Joy Adamson, author of "Born Free," 
 was killed in northern Kenya by a servant.
1990 Ousted Panamanian leader Manuel Noriega surrendered to 
 U.S. forces, 10 days after taking refuge in the Vatican's 
 diplomatic mission.
1993 U.S. President George H.W. Bush and Russian President 
 Boris Yeltsin signed the second Strategic Arms Reduction 
 Treaty (START) in Moscow.
1998 China announced that it would spend $27.7 billion to 
 fight erosion and pollution in the Yangtze and Yellow river
 valleys.
1999 Israeli authorities detained, and later expelled, 14 
 members of Concerned Christians. Israili officials claimed 
 that the Denver, CO based cult was plotting violence in 
 Jerusalem to bring about the Second Coming of Christ.
2000 Charles M. Schulz's final original daily comic strip 
 appeared in newspapers.
2004 NASA's Spirit rover landed on Mars. The craft was able 
 to send back black and white images three hours after 
 landing.
2013  smiled.


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How to get pictures from CD to email and FB ? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, January 2.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a California man, who falls off Bay bridge after allegedly attempting to throw wife off it. Details at International Bonehead Awards
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It's a sign of mediocrity when you demonstrate gratitude with moderation. --- Roberto Benigni
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. The head nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?" He said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure it will be all right.'" The head nurse said, "She was just trying to comfort you, what's so frightening about that?" The patient said, "She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"
"The first thing I did after being hired as the director of learning technology at a high school was to change the sign outside my door -- the one that had my name followed by the acronym D.O.L.T."
Thanks to Alianne for this: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Xavier McClinton, 47, of Mill Valley, California California man, who falls off Bay bridge after allegedly attempting to throw wife off it. From NYDailyNews A California man who plunged from a San Francisco Bay bridge was trying to throw his wife off when he went over himself instead, according to a prosecutor. Authorities say Xavier McClinton, 47, of Mill Valley, was driving over the San Mateo-Hayward Bridge with his wife of eight years when he began violently crashing his car in an attempt to go over the edge, NBC reports. When the vehicle hit a barrier and could go no further, McClinton allegedly grabbed the mother of his three children and forcefully pulled her out of the car. His wife, identified as Nadia McClinton, was then narrowly tossed over the edge where Good Samaritans were able to grab her legs and hold on. McClinton, however, went over, falling about 15 feet into the water. He was rescued by the U.S. Coast Guard and arraigned on one felony count each of attempted murder and domestic violence. His wife was treated for a severe gash on the side of her mouth that required stitches. Investigators say Xavier McClinton in recent days had been showing signs of paranoia before the terrifying attack, CBS reported. San Mateo County District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe said McClinton feared that people were trying to break into his home and kill him. The 47-year-old father contacted authorities about his irrational behavior just two days before the attack and submitted to a mental health evaluation, Mercury News reported. He was deemed not a danger to himself before being released. He's being held without bail. Tech Support Pits From: Wayne Re: Loading pictures onto email and FB Dear Webby, Just got a new computer [new to me] .. I am a newbie.. to this, but was shown your site where you offered some limited advice on PCs.. I want to find out just how to load photos onto email or a web site. I have photos on a CD.. from drug store.. and would like to send them to someone or post them on Facebook. Will you help me.. I need a step by step approach, please. Thanks, Wayne Dear Wayne The first step is to get a graphics program, if you haven't got one. I use PaintShopPro since the 1980s , but nowadays there are tons of free ones available. Try a few and settle on one, that you are comfortable with. Then reduce the 3 acre pictures from the drugstore to a practical size, that you can use in email and FaceBook. You would for example, reduce a family portrait from 4000 x 3000 to 600 x 480 Save the reduced picture under a short, descriptive name, with no brainless empty spaces in the file name. Some programs can cope with brainless empty spaces, but many can't. After that, you can drag them into emails, or copy them while showing in the graphics program, and paste them into emails. With FaceBook start a message, then click on PHOTO, click on the wire frame that shows, and then browse to the picture. That is where the descriptive name, that you gave it instead of the long number from the drugstore, will come in handy. That is all there is to it. When you are comfortable with this, then we go to retrieving the pictures straight into the computer, without going to the drugstore. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Baking Bacon Cooking bacon in the oven allows you to cook large quantities of bacon quickly. Just line a cookie sheet with aluminum foil and lay your bacon flat. Cook at 400 degrees F for 15 to 20 minutes. Remember to turn on the vent hood, just like you would if you cooked the bacon on the stove top. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
There are three religious truths: 1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

What do you call a guy who never farts in public? A private tutor.
Morris walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. "We don't need anyone" they replied. "You can't afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone, anytime, anything!" "Well we have two prospects that No One has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, you have a job." He was gone about two hours, and returned and handed them two checks, one for $25,000.00 and another for $50,000.00. "How in the world did you do that ?" they asked. "I told you I'm the worlds best salesman, I can sell anyone, anywhere, anytime!" "Did you get a urine sample?" they asked him. "What's that?" he asked. "Well, if you sell a policy over $20,000.00 the company requires a urine sample. Take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples." Morris was gone about 6 hours and they were fixing to close when in he walks in with two five gallon buckets, one in each hand. He sets the buckets down, and reaches in his shirt pocket and produces two bottles of urine, and sets them on the desk and says "Here's Mr.Brown's and this one is Mr.Smith's." "Thats good" they said, "but what's in those two buckets?" "Well, I passed by the Holiday Inn and they were having a state teachers convention, so I stopped and sold them a group policy!"

» Avians Aloft

Today, January 2, in
1492 The leader of the last Arab stronghold in Spain 
 surrendered to Spanish forces loyal to King Ferdinand II 
 and Queen Isabella I.
1788 Georgia became the 4th state to ratify the U.S. 
 Constitution.
1842 In Fairmount, PA, the first wire suspension bridge 
 was opened to traffic.
1859 Erastus Beadle published "The Dime Book of 
 Practical Etiquette."
1872 Brigham Young, the 71-year-old leader of the Mormon 
 Church, was arrested on a charge of bigamy. He had 25 wives.
1890 Alice Sanger became the first female White House staffer.
1900 The Chicago Canal opened.
1917 Royal Bank of Canada took over the Quebec Bank.
1935 Bruno Richard Hauptmann went on trial for the 
 kidnap-murder of Charles Lindberghs baby. Hauptmann was 
 found guilty and executed.
1942 The Philippine capital of Manila was captured by 
 Japanese forces during World War II.
1955 Panamanian President Jose Antonio Remon assassinated.
1960 U.S. Sen. John F. Kennedy of Massachusetts announced 
 his candidacy for the Democratic presidential nomination.
1968 Fidel Castro announced petroleum and sugar rationing 
 in Cuba.
1971 In the U.S., a federally imposed ban on television 
 cigarette advertisements went into effect.
1974 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon signed a bill requiring 
 all states to lower the maximum speed limit to 55 MPH. The 
 law was intended to conserve gasoline supplies during an 
 embargo imposed by Arab oil-producing countries. Federal 
 speed limits were abolished in 1995.
1996 AT&T announced that it would eliminate 40,000 jobs over 
three years.
1998 Russia began circulating new rubles in effort to keep 
inflation in check and promote confidence. 
2013  smiled.


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Getting rid of download files 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, January 1.



Click through for full size


Thank you Lillemor!


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman who was Jailed After Assaulting Boyfriend When He Refused To Cuddle With Her Details at International Bonehead Awards Re the Gmail malfunction and "DANGEROUS" flag: >From Doug: Your letter wasn't being sent to 'spam. It was being flagged jn my inbox with a 'dangerous' flag/banner in the letter, and the images and color blocked. I removed the promotion 'label' gmail gave your letter, and added your address to my contacts list, last night. This morning's letter came through without the red 'dangerous' flag, and all the images and color came through. Such is life dealing with nerds trying to help my world. All-in-all, they filter 95% of the spam, protect my world, but the 'better ideas' slay me. Happy New Year to you and your loved ones. Keep safe and take care of yourself. Cheers, Doug. Thanks Doug!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools. --- Herbert Spencer Never believe anything until it has been officially denied. --- Claud Cockburn (1904 - 1981)
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

Customer: "My computer crashed!" Tech Support: "It crashed?" Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game." Tech Support: "All right, hit Sart, Restart." Customer: "No, it didn't crash-it crashed." Tech Support: "Huh?" Customer: "I crashed my game.That's what I said before. I crashed my spaceship and now it doesn't work." Tech Support: "Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.'" Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and shovel for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?" the friend asked. "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering whack with the shovel. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
Thanks to Lillemor for this: Click on the picture for the large version Aetna
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Shavonna Rumph, 31, Manatee County, Floriduh Jailed After Assaulting Boyfriend When He Refused To Cuddle With Her Shavonna Rumph, a 31-year-old Florida woman, was jailed Saturday after she allegedly assaulted her boyfriend because he refused to "cuddle" with her. According to the Manatee County Sheriff's office, Shavonna and her boyfriend had been drinking Saturday night when Shavonna expressed that she was in the mood for some "cuddling" when the couple settled down to sleep. An argument ensued when the boyfriend, 33-year-old Henry Price, refused to cuddle with Shavonna. The dispute turned physical when Shavonna grabbed Henry's shirt, causing it to tear. When Henry attempted to leave the residence, Shavonna dragged a table in front of the door to prevent him from leaving. When that failed to deter Henry from leaving, Shavonna allegedly grabbed a kitchen knife and threatened Henry with it. During questioning, Shavonna admitted to grabbing Henry by the shirt when he refused to "cuddle" with her but denied threatening him with a knife. She was booked into the Manatee County Jail and charged with battery domestic violence. Tech Support Pits From: Loretta Re: Getting rid of old download files Dear Webby, I believe I read somewhere that after updates to programs had been received and installed, then those updates could be deleted and one would have more space on the computer. Is that true, and if so, how do I do it? Loretta Dear Loretta If you are reasonably disciplined and always download updates into a download directory, for example C:\downloads, then it is easy. Then you just clean out that folder. However, if you don't pay attention and just download them to anywhere, then it becomes almost impossible. Usually, the downloads don't amount to very much, since they are zipped up or compressed in some fashion. If you are so cramped for space that deleting the download files would make a significant difference, then you are way overdue for a bigger hard drive. You can hunt down ".zip" files and delete those. CrapCleaner also makes extra space for you. You can download CrapCleaner from my toolbox at http://webby.com/tools Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Lemon Air Freshener To freshen the air in your kitchen, especially after cooking fish or cabbage, place a whole, unpeeled lemon in a 300 degree F oven for about 15 minutes, leaving the door slightly open. Turn off the oven and let the lemon cool before removing it. You can also boil lemon rind in water for a citrus scent. If you use the whole lemon make a pot of lemon tea after removing it from the oven by placing the lemon (sliced) into boiling water and add sugar as needed. By joesgirl Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes and in that time, you can do anything you want." With a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces. "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking knowingly. Grinning even more widely, the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time, you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. "This place," the guide told them, "is 1600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years." "Wow," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same landlord I have."
The preacher spent his whole sermon relating the evils of sin and how all men are sinners with no exceptions. At the end of the sermon he asked rhetorically, "Now does anyone here think they are without sin?" He had only to wait a few seconds before a man in one of the back pews stood up. The pastor asked the man who had the audacity to stand after such a fiery sermon, "Sir, do you really think you are completely without sin?" The man quickly answered, "No sir, I'm not standing up for myself, but for my wife's first husband."

» Who would have guessed?
Wishing you
a
Frantic Foist!
from Dianne!

Click on the picture for full size

Today, January 1, in
0404 The last gladiator competition was held in Rome, an early
 form of all-star wrestling.
1622 The Papal Chancery adopted January 1st as the beginning of 
 the New Year (instead of March 25th).
1772 The first traveler's checks were issued in London.
1797 Albany became the capital of New York state, replacing 
 New York City.
1801 The Act of Union of England and Ireland came into force.
1801 Italian astronomer Giuseppe Piazzi became the first person 
 to discover an asteroid. He named it Ceres.
1804 Haiti gained its independence.
1808 The U.S. prohibited import of slaves from Africa.
1863 U.S. President Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, 
 which declared that all slaves in the rebel states were free.
1887 Queen Victoria was proclaimed empress of India in Delhi.
1892 Ellis Island Immigrant Station formally opened in New York.
1894 The Manchester Ship Canal was officially opened to traffic.
1898 Manhattan, the Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island 
 were consolidated into New York City.
1901 The Commonwealth of Australia was founded. Lord Hopetoun 
 officially assumed the duties as the first Governor-General.
1902 The first Tournament of Roses (later the Rose Bowl) 
 collegiate football game was played in Pasadena, CA.
1909 The first payments of old-age pensions were made in 
 Britain. People over 70 received five shillings a week.
1913 The post office began parcel post deliveries.
1924 Frank B. Cooney received a patent for ink paste.
1926 The Rose Bowl was carried coast to coast on network 
 radio for the first time.
1934 Alcatraz Island officially became a Federal Prison.
1956 Sudan gained its independence.
1958 The European Economic Community (EEC) started operations.
1959 Fidel Castro overthrew the government of Fulgencio Batista, 
 and seized power in Cuba.
1968 Evel Knievel, stunt performing daredevil, lost control 
 of his motorcycle midway through a jump of 141 feet over 
 the ornamental fountains in front of Caesar’s Palace in 
 Las Vegas.
1971 Tobacco ads representing $20 million dollars in 
 advertising were banned from TV and radio broadcast.
1973 Britain, Ireland, Denmark and Norway joined the EEC.
1975 The magazine "Popular Electronics" announced the 
 invention of a personal computer called Altair. MITS, 
 using an Intel microprocessor, developed the computer.
1979 The United States and China held celebrations in 
 Washington, DC, and Beijing to mark the establishment 
 of diplomatic relations between the two countries.
1981 Greece joined the European Community.
1984 AT&T was broken up into 22 Bell System companies under 
 terms of an antitrust agreement with the U.S. Federal 
 government.
1986 Spain and Portugal joined the European Community (EC).
1987 A pro-democracy rally took place in Beijing's Tiananmen 
 Square (China).
1993 Czechoslovakia split into two separate states, the 
 Czech Republic and Slovakia. The peaceful division had 
 been engineered in 1992.
1994 The North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) went 
 into effect.
1995 The World Trade Organization came into existence. The 
 group of 125 nations monitors global trade.
1998 A new anti-smoking law went into effect in California. 
 The law prohibiting people from lighting up in bars.
1999 In California, a law went into effect that defined 
 "invasion of privacy as trespassing with the intent to capture 
 audio or video images of a celebrity or crime victim engaging 
 in a personal or family activity." 
2013  smiled.


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Ancestry Programs 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, December 31.

How are your resolutions coming along?
Are you going to have one ready, in case somebody asks you?
if you don't, they WILL ask you!





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Thank you Claude!
Please send me your email address!


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a fake cop in Floriduh, who got caught the second time for pulling over a real cop. Details at International Bonehead Awards A few subscribers got a wacky notice from Gmail about HTML emails being used to steal information. Don't worry. The sniveling ninnies attach that to some HTML based mails. Feel free to tell them to grow up. The DearWebby Humor Letter has been in HTML format for almost twenty years and does not harvest any private information. Maybe they want you to learn how to make filters to exclude legitimate mail from their sniveling. If YOU got that silly warning, tell them they are being a silly nuisance and to stop that nonsense. Hilarious news from the Antarctic: Gullible Warming "scientists" on the Russian ship MV Akademik Shokalskiy,trying to prove that manmade CO2 causes Gullible Warming, ahem Climate Change, are stuck in the ice. A big, huge Chinese icebreaker trying to get to them, is now ALSO stuck. A French and an Australian icebreaker are heading towards them. They hope to at least get the Chinese icebreaker loose. It is mid summer in the Antarctic, and going to cool off soon. Those "scientists", pretending to be able to predict the climate for the next 300 years, apparently failed to predict the climate a week ahead. I could have told them. Look what happened in the early 70's. Due to cycles, we got a replay. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Never believe anything until it has been officially denied. --- Claud Cockburn (1904 - 1981)
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

The Math Professor. posed this problem: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-third is to go to his son from his first marriage, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" A student in the back of the room answered, "A lawyer?"
An eighty-five-year-old couple, married for almost sixty years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly as a result of her interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and a master bath suite with a sauna and Jacuzzi. As they "oohed and aahed" the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," Peter replied. "This is heaven." Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day, and each week the course would change to new one that represented one of the great golf courses on Earth. The old man asked, "What are the green fees?" Peter's reply: "This is heaven; you play for free." Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is heaven; it is free!" Peter replied with some exasperation. "Well, where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol tables?" the old woman asked timidly. Peter lectured, "That's the best part: You can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is heaven." With that, the old man threw down his hat, stomped on it, and shrieked wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault. If it weren't for your stoopid bran muffins, we could have been here twenty years ago!"
Thanks to Lillemor for this: Click on the picture for the large version ANTARCTICA-SHIP-stuck-in-global-warming
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Johnathan Stevens, 24, in Tampa, Floriduh Fake cop jailed for pulling over real cop Reported by Tom A Manatee County man has been charged with impersonating a police officer. Police say 24-year-old Jonathan Stevens was arrested in Tampa over the weekend after flagging down a police officer. He had flashing red and blue lights on his SUV, and had a gun and a badge around his neck. "The officer was suspicious. It just didn't seem right to her," said TPD spokesperson Andrea Davis. Stevens' car was not from a government agency, and he was not a government employee. Police say he admitted to making the whole thing up, and it's not the first time. In September, the Manatee Sheriff's Office says he pulled over a driver in the parking lot of the Ellenton Outlets. He also faces charges related to that incident. Tech Support Pits From: Maggie Re: Family Tree Maker Dear Webby: do you have a family tree maker? maggie maggie Dear Maggie Three subscribers responded: From Leon Either of the following are good programs, I have used both and am pleased with them: "Family Tree Maker" "Roots Magic" They are both user friendly and easy to use. Leon ------- From Jessie Hi Dear Webby, I've used Family Tree Maker for genealogy over 15 years. It's easy to use and offers help if you have a problem. I've tried other programs, but have better luck with FTM than any others. Jessie -------- From Noella Regarding ancestry programs: My mom was very much into geneaology for many, many years and she used PAF (Personal Ancestral File). As I googled to find the website, I notice it is still available, but will no longer have "support" services. There are three alternative programs suggested on their page. The site is run by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and is FREE. According to her it is the best around as the church members have been into geneaology for many, many, many years. https://familysearch.org/paf Noella Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Mop And Glo To Shine Your Old Car First of all, do not try this on any car that you care about! I had an old, old Toyota and the paint was very dull and had lost it's shine. I tried something very simple to renew the shine. I used Mop and Glo on it and, wow, what a shine. I know my neighbors thought I was crazy, but it worked and looked good. By Jackie from Orlando, FL Yes, sure it works, just make sure you thoroughly scrub it perfectly clean first. Does wonders on fake leather dash too. Don't use it to clean, just to seal cleaned surfaces and make them shine. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A man approached his family physician and said, "Doc, I'm afraid you'll have to remove my wife's tonsils one of these days." The doctor pulled out the family's medical file and exclaimed, "Hey, I removed them six years ago! Did you ever hear of a woman having two sets of tonsils?" "No," the husband retorted, "but you've heard of a widower marrying again, haven't you?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Judi had just returned to the United States from a month-long trip to Europe. She'd been to England, France, Spain, Italy, Germany, and Switzerland. Bob met her at the airline gate, hugged her, and asked, "So, how was your trip?" "Oh, it was terrible,." she replied, "The scenery was nice, but the whole place is just full of foreigners."
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their truck. Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey, I don't want to tell you how to do something... but I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground." After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guywas right. This is a lot easier!" "Yeah," the other added, "but we're getting farther away from the truck."

» To Next Year
Wishing you
a
Frantic Foist!
from Dianne!

Click on the picture for full size

Today, December 31, in
1687 The first Huguenots set sail from France for the Cape 
 of Good Hope, where they would later create the South 
 African wine industry with the vines they took with 
 them on the voyage.
1695 The window tax was imposed in Britain, which resulted 
 in many windows being bricked up.
1775 The British repulsed an attack by Continental Army 
 generals Richard Montgomery and Benedict Arnold at Quebec. 
 Montgomery was killed in the battle.
1857 Britain's Queen Victoria decided to make Ottawa the 
 capital of Canada.
1879 Thomas Edison gave his first public demonstration of 
 incandescent lighting to an audience in Menlo Park, NJ.
1891 New York's new Immigration Depot was opened at Ellis 
 Island, to provide improved facilities for the massive 
 numbers of arrivals.
1923 In London, the BBC first broadcast the chimes of Big Ben.
1929 Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians played "Auld Lang Syne" 
 as a New Year's Eve song for the first time.
1946 U.S. President Truman officially proclaimed the end of 
 hostilities in World War II.
1955 General Motors became the first U.S. corporation to 
 earn more than one billion dollars in a single year.
1960 The farthing coin, which had been in use in Great 
 Britain since the 13th century, ceased to be legal tender.
1974 Private U.S. citizens were allowed to buy and own gold 
 for the first time in more than 40 years.
1978 Taiwanese diplomats struck their colors for the final 
 time from the embassy flagpole in Washington, DC. The event 
 marked the end of diplomatic relations with the U.S.
1979 At year end oil prices were 88% higher than at the 
 start of 1979.
1997 Michael Kennedy, 39-year-old son of the late U.S. Sen. 
 Robert F. Kennedy, was killed in a skiing accident on 
 Aspen Mountain in Colorado.
1999 Russian President Boris Yeltsin resigned. Prime Minister 
 Vladimir Putin was designated acting president.
1999 Sarah Knauss died at the age of 119 years. She was the 
world's oldest person. She was born September 24, 1880. 
2013  smiled.


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Family Tree Maker 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, December 30.

Thank you Claude!
Please send me your email address!


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman, who set her ex-fiance's house on fire Details at International Bonehead Awards How are your resolutions coming along? Are you going to have one ready, in case somebody asks you? if you don't, they WILL ask you! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Inanimate objects are classified scientifically into three major categories - those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. --- Russell Baker (1925 - ) Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority. --- Thomas H. Huxley
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

A man walked into a bar and with a disconcerted look on his face immediately called out, "Who is the owner of that Saint Bernard tied up outside?" Another man looked over and replied, "It's mine. His name's Rudy. Why do you ask?" The first man walked up to him, put an arm on his shouldner and said, "I'm sorry, but my dog just killed your dog." The owner of the dog was shocked. "Are you kidding me?! It's a Saint Bernard! That dog is huge! He's bigger than my car!" The first man nodded in agreement and then said: "Well, he choked on my Chihuahua."
A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!" Cashier: "Sir, you stepped away from the counter. We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank!" Customer: "Well, okay, if you insist. Just thought you'd like to know you gave me hundred dollars too much. Bye."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jill Marie Batchelor, 48, Rockledge, Floriduh a Florida woman, who set her ex-fiance's house on fire A 48-year-old woman who police say was annoyed by her ex-fiancé’s request for her to leave his house by New Year’s, remains jailed on charges she deliberately set off a Christmas Day fire in front of her children that gutted the man’s home. No one – including the woman’s 14-year-old son and family pets - was injured in the fire. Jill Marie Batchelor, of Rockledge, was charged with first-degree arson and child abuse after Rockledge Police were called to a home at 1044 Bernice Rd., to investigate a disturbance. Rockledge firefighters were also called out to douse the flames and smoke that spread through the home. “I’m told that nothing was salvageable and that the home was seriously damaged,” said Donna Seyferth, spokeswoman for the Rockledge Police Department. Police say Batchelor’s boyfriend has told her several days before that she would have to leave the home and find somewhere else to live. On Christmas morning, the man, ‘left the house to stave off any problems, and avoid being blamed for any expected violence' police said. Police, however, said Batchelor, identified by the butterfly tattoo on her knee, was at the home about 9 a.m. and was seen by at least one witness lighting matches and throwing them on the floor of the home. Batchelor also stacked up a pile of stuff, set them on fire and added more to the rising flames before it grew out of control, police said. Police are also familiar with Batchelor, Seyferth said. Batchelor was taken to the Brevard County Detention Center in Sharpes where she remains under a special watch, records show. She will go before a judge for a first appearance on Friday. Tech Support Pits From: Maggie Re: Family Tree Maker Dear Webby: do you have a family tree maker? maggie maggie Dear Maggie Unfortunately, I don't. But that reminds me of a story my dad told me about 50 years ago. Seems he overheard some kid telling his father that he had learned in school that people were descendants of apes. Apparently the father blew up and yelled at his kid: "Nonsense! YOU might have decended from an ape, but I sure didn't!" If any of you have a program that you can recommend to Maggie for enumerating who climbed down from the tree whith whom, and who descended from that, please send me the info and I'll list it here. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Jars for Drinking Glasses After pricing drinking glasses in the store, I bought a case of a dozen pint canning jars for about 1/3 the cost. I enjoy the "country" look, and can use the jars next fall to can. By Sandra Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
>From Marnie Dear Webby, can you please bring that bricklayer's accident report again? I was hoping you would without me asking, but I think I waited long enough. I am getting on in years, ya know. Marnie Dear marni Sure! Here it is: Accident Report Form I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number 3 in the Accident Report Form I put "Lost Presence-of-Mind" as the cause of my accident. You asked in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer, by trade. On the day of the accident I was working alone on the roof of a new 6 story building. When I completed my work, I discovered I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carry them down by hand, I decided to lower them down in a barrel, using a pully, which fortunately was attached to the building at the 6th floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went to the ground floor, untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block number 3 of the Accident Reporting Form, that I weigh 145 pounds. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence-of-mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a high rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the 3rd floor, I met the barrel coming down--this explains the fractured skull and broken collar bone. Slowed, only so slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my hand were 2 knuckles deep into the pully. Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence-of-mind, and was able to hold tightly to the rope inspite of my increasing pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottem fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 3, and as you might imagine--I began a rapid decent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the 3rd floor, yes, I met the barrel coming up, this accounts for the 2 fractured ankles, and the lacerations on my legs and lower body.... The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks, and fortunately, only 3 vertebrae were cracked.... I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel 6 stories above me, I again lost my presence-of-mind, and let go of the rope. The empty barrel weighed more than the rope--so it came down on me and broke both my legs.... I trust I have furnished you the information you require as to how this accident occurred
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>Thanks to Chris for this story: My wife and her friend were talking about their labor-saving devices as they pulled into our driveway. Her friend said, "I love my new garage-door opener." "I love mine too," my wife replied, and she honked the horn three times. That was the signal for me to come out and open the garage.
A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."

» Goofy Gifs
Wishing you
a
Frantic Foist!
from Dianne!

Today, December 30, in
1460 At the Battle of Wakefield, in England's Wars of the 
 Roses, the Duke of York was defeated and killed by the 
 Lancastrians.
1853 The United States bought about 45,000 square miles of 
 land from Mexico in a deal known as the Gadsden Purchase.
1880 The Transvaal was declared a republic. Paul Kruger 
 became its first president.
1887 A petition to Queen Victoria with over one million 
 names of women appealing for public houses to be closed 
 on Sundays was handed to the home secretary.
1903 About 600 people died when fire broke out at the 
 Iroquois Theater in Chicago, IL.
1922 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR) was formed.
1924 Edwin Hubble announced the existence of other galactic 
 systems.
1927 The first subway in the Orient was dedicated in Tokyo
1935 Italian bombers destroyed a Sweedish Red Cross unit 
 in Ethiopia.
1936 The United Auto Workers union staged its first sit-down 
 strike, at the Fisher Body Plant in Flint, MI.
1940 California's first freeway was officially opened. It was 
 the Arroyo Seco Parkway connecting Los Angeles and Pasadena.
1944 King George II of Greece proclaimed a regency to rule 
 his country, virtually renouncing the throne.
1947 King Michael of Romania abdicated in favor of a 
 Communist Republic. He claimed he was forced from his throne.
1953 The first color TV sets went on sale for about $1,175.
1972 The United States halted its heavy bombing of North Vietnam.
1993 Israel and the Vatican established diplomatic relations.
2013  smiled.


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Phony Notice to appear 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, December 29.
No more Sundays after this one 
for the whole rest of the year!

Thank you Claude!


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an idiot, who huffed compressed air, and plowed into cars parked at restaurant Details at International Bonehead Awards Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. --- Doctor Who
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

Two friends were driving to the store and on the way, they came upon an intersection with a stoplight. The light showed red, but the driver went right through the red light. The passenger screamed at the driver, "What are you doing? You're going to get us killed!" The drive said, "Don't worry, my mother always drives like this." Later on, they came to another stoplight which was red. The driver sped right through the light. Again the passenger looked at the driver and said, "I thought I told you, you're gonna get us killed! Would you please stop this nonsense!" The driver said, "All right! I get it, but I told you my mother drives like this all the time." They came to another intersection, but this time the light was green. The driver slammed on his brakes and stopped the car completely. The passenger yelled, "What are you doing now? This is the third time you almost got us killed. Why did you stop at a green light?" The driver said, "My mother might be coming the other way."
One day, a man got drunk in a bar and started a fight. The police came and took the drunk man to jail. The next day the man went before the judge. The judge asked him, "Where do you work?" The man said, "Here and there." The judge asked the man, "What do you do for a living?" The man said, "This and that." Then the judge said, "Take him away." The man said, "Wait, judge, when will I get out?" The judge laughed and said, "Sooner or later"
Click on the picture for the large version Birderozerus
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andrew Jonathan Ecker, 23, Boynton Beach, Floriduh an idiot, who huffed compressed air, and plowed into cars parked at restaurant A man police say was driving dopey on compressed air plowed through bushes and crashed into three cars parked in a TGI Friday's parking lot Monday, according to a Boynton Beach Police arrest report. Police said Andrew Jonathan Ecker, 23, who has no fixed address, was heading north on North Congress Avenue just south of Old Boynton Road at about 11 p.m. when he veered off the road. He passed out after "huffing" a compressed air can, then drove over a sidewalk, through bushes and into the parked cars in the restaurant parking lot at 382 N. Congress Ave., according to the report. An officer at the scene said he found Ecker in the driver's seat of the still running blue 2007 BMW 328XI, which had its air bag deployed. Boynton Beach Fire Rescue gave Ecker first aid but said he refused to be taken to a hospital, insisting he was fine. First responders took him to Bethesda Memorial Hospital anyway, because they believed he possibly had a head injury. Police said Ecker refused to give a blood, breath or urine sample after being asked twice. Under the driver's seat, an officer discovered the compressed air can. A records check revealed Ecker's driver's license had been suspended after an unpaid traffic ticket, according to the report. The officer said Ecker told him he left Walmart and was on his way to the Ashley Lake Development in Boynton Beach when he started huffing the compressed air can and passed out. Ecker awoke to find police and bystanders asking him if he was okay. He faces inhaling a harmful chemical substance and driving on a suspended license charges and was booked into Palm Beach County Jail where he is held in lieu of $1,500 bail. ----------------------- I have long lost track of how many times I have thundered against those stoopid compressed air cans. They are totally useless and if there are idiots around, they will abuse them. For cleaning purposes they are totally moronic. Why would anybody blow any dirt or dust into harder to reach places? DUH! Those cans don't have just air in them. They have a low grade waste refrigerant in there as a propellant. When the pressure in the can drops, it evaporates and adds itself to the air. That refrigerat production waste product does not produce a high when huffed, not like the Nitrous Oxide in whipped cream cans. All it does is make the huffer pass out. For morons that twilight on the edge of passing out, similar to the relaxed feeling on the edge of falling asleep after a hard day's work, is the substitute for a real high, that the idiots are after. Unlike falling asleep in bed or on the couch, getting hammered with a refrigerant production waste product, causes brain damage. Considering that only real idiots huff those compressed air cans, letting those real idiots make themselves even dumber is pretty stoopid too. Here those cans are outlawed, and as far as I am concerned, they should be outlawed everywhere. If you see any of those "Compressed Air" cans, pitch a temper tantrum at whoever bought them, and trash the cans. Tech Support Pits From: Christina Re: Notice to appear Dear Webby, I keep getting these notices to appear in a court in New York, and that I am supposed to download court forms and fill them out. I remember you telling me, if anything is suspicious and I don't really and absolutely need it, to dump it. I have never been anywhere near New York, neither the town nor the state, so it seems phony. What do you recommend? Christina Dear Christina Most of us get that phony crap. Just dump the attached zip file into the trash, and then use CrapCleaner to dump the recycle bin. If you hover the mouse over that attachment in the email, the status line should show you WHERE the attachment is parked. I use Eudora, and have it set to put all attachments into the ! folder on the removable USB drive. That makes it easy to find craap like that. I sort that folder by date, and it is right on top. Some sneaky stuff comes with a forged older date, to hide way down. So I sort by name and get it that way, or by type. Zip files are at the bottom, and easy to dump. No matter what method you use, go after that attachment and nuke it. Then dump the email. Don't waste time replying. The address is probably phony anyway. Just dump it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remove Condensation from Car Windows When your windshield steams up on you, a clean blackboard eraser kept in the glove compartment of your car or truck can be quite handy for wiping off the moisture. The eraser is less bulky than a cloth and doesn't shed lint on the glass. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO Before entering a tunnel it is important to open a side window or crank up hot air to the windshield. Most tunnels are a bit cooler and tend to cause some fogging of your windshield. Be prepared for that to happen to other drivers and them suddenly slowing down or doing silly stuff, like searching for anything to wipe their windshield. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
In England they use 999 instead of 911. In December they usually experience a 15% increase in fake emergency calls. A woman in a nightclub phoned for an ambulance after breaking a fingernail. Another woman dialed 999 saying a mouse had swallowed her medicine. Other calls included a man who needed someone to change the television channel, a man who had a dream he was unconscious and had collapsed and a caller who wanted a can of pop out of the fridge. They were among thousands of timewasters revealed to have blocked 999 lines. The North East Ambulance Service also highlighted the growing number of revellers who call an ambulance to save queuing for taxis. They fake injury then wrongly assume ambulance staff will take them home after treatment. "One was from a woman who said her boyfriend was drunk and she needed help to get him upstairs to bed. Another was from someone who wanted us to deliver a takeaway to them."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

"Did your wife have much to say when you got home last night?" "No, but that didn't keep her from screaming for two hours."
Being a husband is like any other job . . . It helps a lot if you like the boss.

» The Dezer Collection
Wishing you
a
Frantic Foist!
from Dianne!

Today, December 29, in
1170 St. Thomas ŕ Becket, the 40th archbishop of Canterbury, 
 was murdered in his own cathedral by four knights acting 
 on Henry II's orders.
1812 The USS Constitution won a battle with the British ship 
 HMS Java about 30 miles off the coast of Brazil. Before 
 Commodore William Bainbridge ordered the sinking of the 
 Java he had her wheel removed to replace the one the 
 Constitution had lost during the battle.
1813 The British burned Buffalo, NY, during the War of 1812.
1837 Canadian militiamen destroyed the Caroline, a U.S. 
 steamboat docked at Buffalo, NY.
1848 U.S. President James Polk turned on the first gas 
 light at the White House.
1860 The HMS Warrior, Britain's first seagoing iron-hulled 
 warship, was launched.
1890 The U.S. Seventh Cavalry massacred over 400 men, 
 women and children at Wounded Knee Creek, SD. This was 
 the last major conflict between Indians and U.S. troops.
1895 The Jameson Raid from Mafikeng into Transvaal, which 
 attempted to overthrow Kruger's Boer government, started.
1911 Sun Yat-sen became the first president of a 
 republican China.
1913 "The Unwelcome Throne" was released by Selig’s 
 Polyscope Company. This was a moving picture and the 
 first serial motion picture.
1934 Japan renounced the Washington Naval Treaty of 
 1922 and the London Naval Treaty of 1930.
1940 During World War II, Germany began dropping 
 incendiary bombs on London.
1952 The first transistorized hearing aid was offered 
 for sale by Sonotone Corporation.
1975 A bomb exploded in the main terminal of New York's 
 LaGuardia Airport. 11 people were killed.
1986 The Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables, FL, reopened 
 for business after eighteen years and $47 million 
 expended on restoration.
1989 Following Hong Kong's decision to forcibly repatriate 
 some Vietnamese refugees, thousands of Vietnamese 
 'boat people' battled with riot police.
1996 The Guatemalan government and leaders of the leftist 
 Guatemalan National Revolutionary Union signed a peace 
 accord in Guatemala City, ending a civil war that had 
 lasted 36 years.
1997 Hong Kong began killing 1.25 million chickens, the 
 entire population, for fear of the spread of 'bird flu'.
1998 Khmer Rouge leaders apologized for the 1970s genocide 
 in Cambodia that claimed 1 million lives. 
2013  smiled.


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Fix Download destinations 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, December 28.


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a 27 year old who got jailed for "Knockout Game" Attack On 79-Year-Old Victim Details at International Bonehead Awards
West wind is melting the berms on the side, water runs into the road and into the sidewalks, where it freezes. YeeeHaw!!!! Copper does not like it, when I suddenly pass him, without hearing any steps. That sliding stuff freaks him out. He got used to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is, in fact, a return to the idealised past. --- Robertson Davies If you haven't found something strange during the day, it hasn't been much of a day. --- John A. Wheeler
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

The doctor has just finished giving the young man a thorough physical examination. "The best thing for you to do," the M.D. said, "is give up drinking and smoking, get to bed early and stay away from women." "Doc, I don't deserve the best," said the patient. "What's second best?"
Thanks to Louise for this story: ONE DAY a young man came up to my window at the bank and whispered, "Please deposit this hundred dollars in my savings account." I handled the transaction and whispered back, "Have a good day." He started to leave but changed his mind. "I'm sorry we have to whisper," he said, "but if my car knows I've deposited money, it'll break down again." With his finger to his lips he tip-toed out.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Alan Evans, 35, Santa Rosa, California Jailed for trying to eat his girlfriend, with a knife On 12/24/2013 at approximately 6:30 pm, deputies were dispatched to the 5000 block of Hall Road, Santa Rosa for a report of a disturbance. The victim called after she ran to a neighbors house because her roommate had attacked her. Upon arrival in the area deputies contacted the victim who told them that her roommate came home and was talking incoherently and making no sense. The suspect for no apparent reason then grabbed the victim’s head and began pulling her hair and slapping her. The suspect then released the victim and told her he was going into the kitchen to get a knife, then he was going to “eat her.” The victim fearing for her life fled to a neighbors residence and called the Sheriff’s Office. Deputies contacted the suspect in the living room of his residence where they took him into custody. The deputies noticed the suspect to have blood on his hands and clothing. The deputies began checking the area around the residence for other possible victim’s of an assault. The deputies found the victim’s pet, a small Terrier dog, that had been stabbed by the suspect and was deceased under the suspect’s vehicle. The suspect Alan Evans, 35 years old from Santa Rosa was subsequently arrested for Assault with a deadly weapon, battery, terrorist threats and cruelty to an animal. Evans was booked into the Sonoma County Jail and his bail was set at $250,000. Tech Support Pits From: Klide Re: Download destinations Dear Webby, I sincerely hope that you have seen some improvement in your eyesight! I still pray for you! I would like to ask a favor! Occasionally when I download a photo or picture~it goes into documents or some other file! Can you tell me how to transfer the photo into "Pictures"? I thank you! Klide Dear Klide Make a "General Delivery" folder to receive all the downloads. Put it right up at the top of the C: drive and name it for example !_GeneralDelivery or something like that. The !_ will ensure it is at the top and easy to find. Then download one file into that, carefully, not just absentmindely hitting ENTER and letting it go to some hard to find spot. Also set your email program to put embedded and attached pictures into that folder. Set ICQ and Skype to use that folder as the default receiver. After that, everything will go into that folder, and you can drag it from there to wherever you want it. You can even make shortcuts in there to favorite folders like Pictures, Family, Cougars, Sport, Cars, etc. Then you can drag pictures to those shortcuts instead of having to hunt for those final destinations. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Counter Garbage Can Do you save those used zip lock bags? I often have several and rinse them out and let them dry. Then take an 2-3 pound coffee can and line it with your used ziplock bag. Use the coffee can lid to keep odors in and fill it until the bag is full, then just pull it out and zip it up and toss. No mess, no fuss and certainly no smell. By barbnov55 Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Thanks to Sue for this story: The Students in my third-grade class were bombarding me with questions about my newly pierced ears. "Does the hole go all the way through?" "Yes." "Did it hurt?" "Just a little." "Did they stick a needle through your ears?" "No, they used a special gun." Silence followed, and then one solemn voice called out, "How far away did they stand?" and another voice, "Did they do both ears with one shot?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

I was living in the mountains above Denver when my college buddy, Gary, arrived in his ancient Maserati sports car. He had just driven it from Ohio, and as he pulled into my driveway, the car broke down. Calls to auto-supply houses and garages in search of replace- ment parts proved futile. The 1962 model was simply too rare. Responses ranged from "Mas-a-what?" to "You've got to be kidding." One guy just laughed. I was at the end of the listings in the Yellow Pages when I dialed Victor's Garage. "Vic," I said, "you're my last hope. Do you carry any parts for a 1962 Maserati?" There was a long pause. Finally, Victor cleared his throat. "Yes," he replied. "Oil."
I recently saw a distraught young lady standing beside her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker," she explained, exasperated. "Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a con- venience store a couple blocks down) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me to inspect. I took the key and manually unlocked the door. "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk."

» Nano Photos
Wishing you
a
Frantic Foist!
from Dianne!

Today, December 28, in
1065 Westminster Abbey was consecrated under Edward the 
 Confessor.
1694 Queen Mary II of England died after five years of 
 joint rule with her husband, King William III.
1732 "The Pennsylvania Gazette," owned by Benjamin Franklin, 
 ran an ad for the first issue of "Poor Richard’s Almanack."
1836 Mexico's independence was recognized by Spain.
1869 William E. Semple, of Mt. Vernon, OH, patented an 
 acceptable chewing gum.
1877 John Stevens applied for a patent for his flour-
 rolling mill, which boosted production by 70%.
1879 In Dundee, Scotland the central portion of the 
 Tay Bridge collapsed as a train was passing over it. 
 75 people were killed.
1908 An earthquake killed over 75,000 at Messina in Sicily.
1912 The first municipally-owned street cars were used 
 on the streets of San Francisco, CA.
1937 The Irish Free State became the Republic of Ireland 
 when a new constitution established the country as a 
 sovereign state under the name of Eire.
1973 Alexander Solzhenitsyn published "Gulag Archipelago," 
 an expose of the Soviet prison system.
1981 Elizabeth Jordan Carr, the first American test-tube 
 baby, was born in Norfolk, VA.
1982 Nevell Johnson Jr. was mortally wounded by a police 
 officer in a Miami video arcade. The event set off 
 three days of race related disturbances that left 
 another man dead.
1989 Alexander Dubcek, who had been expelled from the 
 Communist Party in 1970, was elected speaker of 
 the Czech parliament.
1991 Nine people died in a rush to get into a basketball 
 game at City College in New York.
1995 Pressure from German prosecutors investigating pornography forced CompuServe to set a precedent by blocking access to sex-oriented newsgroups on the Internet for its customers.
2013  smiled.


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Why use a tripod? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, December 27.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!




Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a 27 year old who got jailed for "Knockout Game" Attack On 79-Year-Old Victim Details at International Bonehead Awards
Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

You and I do not see things as they are. We see things as we are. --- Herb Cohen
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

Ole was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. The doctor said, "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least five pounds." When Ole returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said. "Did you follow my instructions?" Ole nodded, "Ya, but I tell you, I taut I vud drop dead dat tird day!" "From hunger?" asked the doctor. "No, da hunger vas one ting, but vat really got to me was all dat skippin!'"
Ester's husband dies and she has only $20,000 to her name. After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that she has no money left. The friend says, "How can that be? You told me you still had $20,000 left just a few days before Cohen died. How could you be broke?" The widow says, "Well, the funeral home cost me $5,000. And of course, I had to make the obligatory donation to the temple, so that was another $5,000. The rest went for the memorial stone." The friend says, "$10,000 for the memorial stone? My goodness, how big was it?" Extending her left hand, the widow says, "Three carats."
Thanks to Lillemor for this: Click on the picture for the large version Swedish Sledding
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Conrad Alvin Barrett, 27, Houston, Texas a 27 year old who got jailed for "Knockout Game" Attack on 79-Year-Old Victim he Texas man charged with a federal hate crime for an alleged “knockout game” attack on a 79-year-old black victim was identified by police after he showed video of the assault to a stranger in a restaurant--a man who turned out to be an off-duty arson investigator who immediately flagged down a cop to report the brutal crime. A federal criminal complaint accuses Conrad Alvin Barrett, 27, of punching the elderly man in the head on November 24 (the blow left the victim with two jaw fractures and cost him three teeth). The man underwent surgery “to insert two metal plates in his jaw,” and spent several days in the hospital, according to an affidavit sworn by FBI Agent Alfred Tribble. Barrett, whose rap sheet includes prior convictions for burglary and drunk driving, is pictured in the above mug shot. Barrett’s phone, which was seized by police after the tip from the arson investigator, contained several incriminating videos, including a clip showing him approaching an “elderly African American man” and asking, “How’s it going, man?” As he gets closer to the victim, “a loud smack is heard, and the victim falls to the ground,” reported Tribble, who added, “Barrett laughs, says 'knockout,' and then flees in his vehicle.” Other videos on Barrett’s phone appear to show him plotting a “knockout” attack. “The plan is to see if I were to hit a black person, would this be nationally televised?” he comments in one clip. “In other videos, Barrett uses the word ‘nigger’ and states that African Americans ‘haven’t fully experienced the blessings of evolution,’” according to Agent Tribble. Another video shows Barrett driving around a mall parking lot, saying that he was trying to work up the “courage” to play the “knockout game.” At one point, Barrett remarks that he had “found the perfect African American suspect,” but he then apparently changes his mind about attacking the target. If convicted of the felony charge, Barrett faces a maximum of 10 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. He is scheduled to make an initial appearance today in U.S. District Court in Houston. Tech Support Pits From: Andree Re: Why not use the flash with modern cameras? Dear Webby, on modern cameras the built in flash works automatically, whenever it is needed. So why all this fuss about external slave flashes and tripods and whatnot? Andree Dear Andree Have you ever been on a small airplane and watched the shadow of the airplane on the ground? Did you notice that for a fairly large area around the shadow of the airplane, the trees had no shadows, and no contrast, and looked like flat and squashed grass bushels? A camera flash does exactly the same. No side light, no shadows and no contrast. Faces in the center have the "Deer in the headlights" appearance. That is why the better photographers have ever since the days of the Magnesium flash pans a couple hundred years ago held the flash as far off to the side and up as they could reach. With cameras, that have reasonably large lenses to let in more light, you can turn off or tape down the flash, and force them to re-calculate and make due with ambient light. As long as you are aware of where that ambient light is coming from, you can often get away without further help. However, if you want to take pictures of people in a darkish room, for example by the light of a Christmas tree, or candellight, then you will see that the camera lengthens the exposure time quite rudely. Most people can hold still a few seconda, but if you shake the camera the tiniest bit, the pictrue will be fuzzy. That is why you need a tripod or sand baggie to totally avoid ANY camera shake in dim lighting. The same also goes for long zoom shots. Take your longest fishing rod and use it to turn a light switch off and on. Did you realize what kind of jittery fumbler you are? Now imagine, that your fishing rod was a few miles long, and how wildly you would be jittering there. You could not paint a deer or even an elephant on the other side of the valley. To get sharp pictures with long zoom shots it is a good idea to use a tripod or small sand baggie. An old, well worn leather purse, that is no longer slippery, and filled with sand or sugar, makes a great camera cushion. You can nestle the camera into it until it points just right, set the self timer to 3 or 5 seconds, clcick it and stand back. THAT is what those short self timer settings are for, not for sprinting around and into the pictrue. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Food Scraps for Chickens If you know anyone that has chickens, save ALL your scraps, peelings, and fruit skins and give them to the chicken's owner. This keeps my garbage disposal and septic clean and the chickens have fruits and vegetables year round. Everyone is a winner! By The Red Head from Bozeman, MT Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The girl said to Grandpa, "I noticed that when you sneeze, you put your hand in front of your mouth." "Of course," explained Grandpa. "How else can I catch my teeth???"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

At a wedding rehearsal, the minister told the father of the bride, "As you give your daughter's hand to the bridegroom, you should say something nice to him." The father, a grocery-store manager, took the advice. During the wedding ceremony, he placed the bride's hand on his son-in-law's arm and said, "No deposit, no return."
A pretty young woman visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in. Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and appreciatively. "Miss Jones," he said finally, "it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never had an eye examination."

» Longest wooden sculpture
Wishing you
a Cool Yule
ana
Frantic Foist!
from Dianne!

Today, December 27, in
1831 Charles Darwin set out on a voyage to the Pacific 
 aboard the HMS Beagle. Darwin's discoveries during the voyage 
 helped him form the basis of his theories on evolution.
1845 Dr. Crawford Williamson Long used anesthesia for childbirth 
 for the first time. The event was the delivery of his own child 
 in Jefferson, GA.
1900 Carrie Nation staged her first raid on a saloon at the 
 Carey Hotel in Wichita, KS. She broke each and every one of 
 the liquor bottles that could be seen.
1927 Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party.
1938 The first skimobile course in America opened in North 
 Conway, NH.
1945 The World Bank was created with an agreement signed 
 by 28 nations.
1947 The children's television program "Howdy Doody," hosted 
 by Bob Smith, made its debut on NBC.
1949 Queen Juliana of the Netherlands granted sovereignty to 
 Indonesia after more than 300 years of Dutch rule.
1951 In Cincinnati, OH, a Crosley automobile, with a steering 
 wheel on the right side, became the first vehicle of its 
 kind to be placed in service for mail delivery.
1965 The BP oil rig Sea Gem capsized in the North Sea, with 
 the loss of 13 lives.
1978 Spain adopted a new constitution and became a democracy 
 after 40 years of dictatorship. 
1979 Soviet forces seized control of Afghanistan. Babrak 
 Karmal succeeded President Hafizullah Amin, who was 
 overthrown and executed.
1985 Palestinian guerrillas opened fire inside the Rome and 
 Vienna airports. A total of twenty people were killed, 
 including five of the attackers, who were killed by police 
 and security personnel.
1992 The U.S. shot down an Iraqi fighter jet during what the 
 Pentagon described as a confrontation between a pair of Iraqi 
 warplanes and U.S. F-16 jets in U.N.-restricted airspace 
 over southern Iraq.
1996 Muslim fundamentalist Taliban forces retook the strategic 
 air base of Bagram, solidifying their buffer zone around 
 Kabul, the Afghanistan capital.
2000 Mario Lemeiux (Pittsburgh Penguins) returned to the 
 National Hockey League (NHL) as a player after over 3 years 
 of retirement. He was the first owner-player in the modern 
 era of pro sports. Lemieux had purchased the Pittsburgh 
 Penguins during his retirement from playing.
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush granted China permanent 
 normal trade status with the United States.
2002 North Korea ordered U.N. nuclear inspectors to leave the 
 country and said that it would restart a laboratory capable 
 of producing plutonium for nuclear weapons.
2002 Clonaid announced the birth of the first cloned human baby. 
 The baby had been born December 26.
2013  smiled.


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Camera tripod bolt 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, December 26.
Remember your elbow pads if you go watch the insanity at
the stores. Don't bother with Walmart. I heard that they
don't reduce prices for Boxing Day, the prices are set to
the maximum, that they can get away with, and they have no
intention to go below that.

However, many other stores are bound to have good fights
going on. 


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a 20 year old who got jailed for Breaking a Baby's Leg For Interrupting his Video Game Details at International Bonehead Awards
Has the panic subsided? Here it hasn't but I expect things to slow down by late afternoon. I might even have a well deserved nap. I am hoping anyway. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. --- Saint Augustine There are two types of people-- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am!' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.' --- Frederick L Collins Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists. --- John Kenneth Galbraith A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended. --- Evan Esar
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when two people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?" She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling." Little Tony just said, "Oh, OK" and went back outside to talk and play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called Bunk Beds!" "And Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you!!"
Officer Candidate School at Fort Sill, Oklahoma, was tough. During an inspection, a fellow soldier received 30 demerits for a single penny found in his area. Ten demerits were for "valuables insecure," ten demerits because the penny wasn't shined, and ten more because Abraham Lincoln needed a shave.
Thanks to Dianne for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Paul Anthony Lajeunesse, 20, Floriduh 20 year old got jailed for Breaking Baby's Leg For Interrupting Video Game A 20-year-old man has been arrested for allegedly breaking a four-week-old baby boy's leg while changing a diaper. Paul Anthony Lajeunesse was charged with aggravated child abuse on Monday stemming from the incident on Dec. 11. Police claim he admits to wounding the child for crying as he tried to play games on an Xbox. Lajeunesse's grandmother was babysitting at the time so the child's mother could attend school, CitrusDaily.com reported. However, the grandmother said it was Lajeunesse's responsibility to change diapers. Lajeunesse was arrested and ordered not to have contact with the victim. It is not clear what his relationship with the child is, but he lives at the same address as the child and its mother, WTSP-TV reported. The grandmother also said that the baby boy tended to cry whenever Lajeunesse changed the diapers, possibly because he was holding the kid's legs up too high. He allegedly admitted to investigators that he took the infant into another room to change its diaper and heard a "pop" when he lifted a leg. After that, the leg went limp. X-rays taken at an area hospital confirmed a fracture on the leg. The boy had to go through surgery and was released Dec. 13 with a waist cast, according to CitrusTimesOnline.com. Tech Support Pits From: Renee Re: Camera tripod bolt Dear Webby, You mentioned it once before a few years ago, but I forgot. What type of special bolt is used on a tripod to hold the camera? I don't have a tripod, but I want to use a stepladder for taking the Christmas pictures. I have an older Canon G2 with a remote control key-fob, if that makes a difference. Renee Dear Renee It makes no difference. All cameras use the common 1/4" coarse ( 1/4" x 20) bolt, no matter where the camera was made. The trick is to use a long bolt and a wing nut. Use the wing nut below a step, a washer or two above the step, then the camera Turn the bolt just barely finger tight into the camera, point the camera, and then tighten the wing nut. Gently. Better than bolting the camera to your ladder, bolt it to a big alligator clamp, like they are used for welding cables or automotive jumper cables. That gives you more ways to adjust and aim the camera. Considering how cheap tripods have become recenty, check out table-top tripods. You can easily put one of them onto a step ladder or shelf. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fixing Pre-Lit Christmas Tree Here is your solution. Find the non-removable bulb with the white socket. It is the last one on the strand, I believe the "non-replacable" white bulb exists only so that you have to buy a new tree ever four years. :( You will find that it's blackened or burned and causing your problem. Wiggle out the bulb, then dig out the socket with a pair of pliers. Be careful not to destroy the socket. Take your time, wiggle it loose. Stick any replacement bulb into that socket and, BAM, your tree will be perfect again! By DrFriedrichs Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Recently my friend, Karen, got a job at a local hardware store. "The owner doesn't want us hanging out with our friends," she said. "If you stop by, tell them you're my brother." On my first visit I walked to the customer service desk and asked the older woman there, "Is Karen around?" When she looked at me quizzically, I added, "I'm her brother." She smiled. "What a nice surprise. I'm quite pleased to meet you! I'm Karen's mother."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Todd was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the hallway toward you, what would you do?" Todd replied, "I would get in my helicopter and fly away!" The doctor then asked, "Where did you get a helicopter from?" Todd replied, "The same place where you got that silly train."
A gentleman goes to an estate sale and notices that one of the items for sale is a large parrot. He's always wanted a talking bird, so when it comes up for bid he offers $50. The bidding proceeds hot and heavy with someone always bidding ten dollars more than he until the parrot is finally sold to him for $1,500. When he goes to get the bird, he asks the auctioneer, "Can the bird talk?" The auctioneer replied, "Who do you think was bidding against you...?"

» Cryptolocker

Merry Christmas
from Dianne!

Today, December 26, in
1620 The Pilgrim Fathers landed at New Plymouth, MA, to found 
 Plymouth Colony, with John Carver as Governor.
1776 The British suffered a major defeat in the Battle of 
 Trenton during the American Revolutionary War.
1865 The coffee percolator was patented by James H. Mason.
1898 Marie and Pierre Curie discovered radium.
1917 During World War I, the U.S. government took over operation 
 of the nation's railroads.
1921 The Catholic Irish Free State became a self-governing 
 dominion of Great Britain.
1941 Winston Churchill became the first British prime minister 
 to address a joint meeting of the U.S. Congress.
1943 The German battlecruiser Scharnhorst was sunk in the 
 North Sea, during the Battle of North Cape.
1947 Heavy snow blanketed the Northeast United States, burying 
 New York City under 25.8 inches of snow in 16 hours. The 
 severe weather was blamed for about 80 deaths.
1956 Fidel Castro attempted a secret landing in Cuba to overthrow 
 the Batista regime. All but 11 of his supporters were killed.
1991 The Soviet Union's parliament formally voted the country 
 out of existence.
1995 Israel turned dozens of West Bank villages over to the 
 Palestinian Authority.
1996 Six-year-old beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey was found 
 beaten and strangled in the basement of her family's home 
 in Boulder, CO.
2000 Michael McDermott, age 42, opened fire at his place of 
 employment killing seven people. He had no criminal history.
2002 The first cloned human baby was born. The announcement 
 was made the December 27 by Clonaid.
2004 Under the Indian Ocean, a 9.0 magnitude earthquake sent 
 500-mph waves across the Indian Ocean and Bay of Bengal. 
 The tsunami killed at least 283,000 people in a dozen 
 countries, including Sri Lanka, Indonesia, Sumatra, 
 Thailand and India.
2013  smiled.


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What to do when a link freezes the computer? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, December 25.
Merry Christmas!

Forgot a Christmas Gift for somebody?
Try this, download it, burn it onto a CD and 
give it to them as a gift!
What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about?

It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great
grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she
was a kid. I want these stories preserved.

You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions
"bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi',"
but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers,
probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put
them all together into one e-book.

This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should
be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format,
you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the
CD with family pictures and other keepsakes,
making it a true heirloom.

I have produced a smaller version last year. This final
edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the
price down to the same $10.

The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice
Christmas gift!


Click on the
book cover
to get your copy




or click on Heirloom Christmas Book
http://webby.com/cb

You can download it and give the file as a gift!


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a 19 year old 2014 Mercedes driver, who was seriously speeding and attracted the ire of the cops to his dope. Details at International Bonehead Awards
Has the panic subsided? Here I expect things to slow down by late afternoon. I might even have a well deserved nap. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) "Seasons Greetings" is a snowball onto the snout of a bigot. From me to you, it's Merry Christmas! and happy Hannukah! --- DearWebby The best way of removing negativity is to laugh and be joyous. --- David Icke
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

>From Mina This guy drives up to his house and where he parks is full of snow. So he parks in a nearby parking lot and walks back home to shovel out a car-sized space in front of his house. It takes hours to shovel, but finally done, he walks back to the lot to get his car. When he returns home, he finds that the space has been taken by some other car. He is, well, upset. What most people do is write nasty notes etc. and place them on the windshield of the offending vehicle. Police sometimes get involved however, when the individual vents his wrath in somewhat more violent means. Tires and throats have been slashed over this. This guy decides to get creative. Instead of doing the usual nasty, he got out his garden hose and watered the automobile down, real well. I mean, very, very thoroughly. Inside too! He pried open a side window wide enough to get the hose inside. The water of course froze solid. In between hosing the inside, he worked dilligently on the outside. When the owner returned, instead of a car, he found a mini-bus sized Popsicle. There was no note incriminating anybody.
My friend's husband is always telling her that housekeeping would be a snap if only she would organize her time better. Recently he had a chance to put his theory into practice while his wife was away. When I popped in one evening to see how he was managing, and he crowed, "I made a cake, frosted it, washed the kitchen windows, cleaned all the cupboards, scrubbed the kitchen floor, walls and ceiling and even had a bath." I was about to concede that perhaps he was a better manager than his wife, when he added sheepishly, "When I was making the chocolate frosting, I forgot to turn off the mixer before taking the beaters out of the bowl, so I had to do all the rest."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Alain Cassagnol, 19, from long Island, now in an SC jail Seriously Speeding while carrying dope DECEMBER 23--An unwise motorist was arrested early today after a traffic stop revealed that his Mercedes-Benz contained frankincense, myrrh, and marijuana, according to South Carolina police. Around 12:30 AM, Alain Cassagnol, 19, was spotted by a Myrtle Beach cop driving 103 mph in a 45 mph zone. Cassagnol was arrested for speeding after officers directed him to exit his car, a white 2014 Mercedes sedan. When Cassagnol stepped out of the Mercedes-Benz, cops detected a “strong odor of marijuana emanating from his person.” Asked if he was in possession of any narcotics, Cassagnol “stated yes and stated the drugs were in his pants by his groin.” An officer then retrieved a clear baggie containing 5.4 grams of pot. Investigators also seized a bottle of frankincense and myrrh incense spray from inside the vehicle. Known as “Blunt Block,” the product is usually used to mask the odor of burnt marijuana. Pictured in the above mug shot, Cassagnol was charged with speeding and marijuana possession. He is currently locked up in the Horry County jail on $649 bond. The teenager, who gave his home address as a Long Island residence, has several social media accounts peppered with pot references. Tech Support Pits From: Earl Re: What to do when a link freezes the computer? Dear Webby, Super great newsletter. I have a problem, a friend sent me a link which I clicked on and it locked up my computer. How can I unlock it? hope you can help I am running windows 7, it asked me if I want to allow windows to make a change on my computer and I unpluged it. I am sending this from another computer. Thanks Earl Dear Earl Let's hope you unplugged it fast enough. Until you plug it in again, there is no way to guess, if it got taken over by malware or not. Try it, and tell me what happened then. You can't do any fixing without turning it on anyway. Keep in mind, you are on Juno, which has pathetically slow and erratic connectivity. Quite possibly the link went to a site, that had a small but demanding video on it, and your browser just stalled. Especially if you use IE, that would appear as if the computer hit an iceberg and froze. Start up normally and run a thorough malware check with a reputable checker like McAfee. Once all seems OK, you can go on as if nothing has happened, but I would stay away from that link, while you are on Juno. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fixing Pre-Lit Christmas Tree Here is your solution. Find the non-removable bulb with the white socket. It is the last one on the strand, I believe the "non-replacable" white bulb exists only so that you have to buy a new tree ever four years. :( You will find that it's blackened or burned and causing your problem. Wiggle out the bulb, then dig out the socket with a pair of pliers. Be careful not to destroy the socket. Take your time, wiggle it loose. Stick any replacement bulb into that socket and, BAM, your tree will be perfect again! By DrFriedrichs Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Thanks to Bernice for this story: My daughter called me at work to say I was to phone Ian at my bank. The operator asked me what Ian's last name was and I explained that he hadn't left his surname. When she asked for his department, I said I didn't know. "There are 1500 employees in this building, ma'am," she advised me rather curtly. After a few more brusque comments, I asked her for her name. "Danielle," she said. "And your last name?" I asked. "Sorry," she replied, "we don't give out last names." "Fine!", I told her. "Tell Ian that if he doesn't call me in ten minutes I will blow his fu*****g ass off." and slammed the phone. He called in two minutes. ----------------------- Yeah, when a woman says "Fine!", men know there is going to be trouble.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions. "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being . . . a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one's absolute property; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows . . ." To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes. Then she nodded in agreement and said, " I think it's a great idea. Of course I will help you choose a puppy dog."
A man was riding on a crowded bus, standing room only. The bus stopped and an elderly lady got on carrying a large picnic basket. She stood right in front of the man and grabbed the overhead rail so the picnic basket was above the man's head. Being a gentleman, he offered his seat to her. She quickly declined as she was only going a short distance. Soon the picnic basket began to leak. The man felt something drop on top of his head. As he looked up it hit beside his nose and ran down across his lips. He tasted it, looked up at the lady and asked, "Pickles?" She replied, "No, no, puppies."

» Petals and pearls

Today, December 25, in
0800 Charlemagne was crowned first Holy Roman Emperor in Rome 
 by Pope Leo III.
1066 William the Conqueror was crowned king of England.
1223 St. Francis of Assisi assembled one of the first 
 Nativity scenes, in Greccio, Italy.
1776 Gen. George Washington and his troops crossed the 
 Delaware River for a surprise attack against Hessian 
 forces at Trenton, NJ.
1818 "Silent Night" was performed for the first time, 
 at the Church of St. Nikolaus in Oberndorff, Austria.
1868 U.S. President Andrew Johnson granted an unconditional 
 pardon to all persons involved in the Southern rebellion 
 that resulted in the Civil War.
1896 John Philip Sousa finally titled the melody 
 "The Stars and Stripes Forever."
1914 During World War I, British and German troops observed 
 an unofficial truce and even playing football together on 
 the Western Front.
1926 Hirohito became the emperor of Japan after the death 
 of his father Emperor Taisho.
1930 The Mt. Van Hoevenberg bobsled run at Lake Placid, 
 New York opened to the public.
1941 Hong Kong surrendered to the Japanese.
1946 W.C. Fields died at the age of 66.
1962 The Department of Commerce Census Clock in Washington, 
 DC, recorded the U.S. population on this day as 188,000,000.
1972 The Nicaraguan capital Managua was hit by an earthquake. 
 Over 10,000 people were killed.
1979 The USSR invaded Afghanistan in a bid to halt civil war.
1989 Ousted Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu and his wife, 
 Elena, were executed following a popular uprising.
2000 Over 300 people were killed and dozens were injured by 
 fire at a Christmas party in the Chinese city of Luoyang. 
 The incident occurred at the Dongdu Disco.
2013  smiled.


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Merry Christmas! 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, December 24.

What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about?

It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great
grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she
was a kid. I want these stories preserved.

You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions
"bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi',"
but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers,
probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put
them all together into one e-book.

This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should
be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format,
you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the
CD with family pictures and other keepsakes,
making it a true heirloom.

I have produced a smaller version last year. This final
edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the
price down to the same $10.

The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice
Christmas gift!


Click on the
book cover
to get your copy




or click on Heirloom Christmas Book
http://webby.com/cb

You can download it and give the file as a gift!


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh Escort and her robber / killer accomplices Details at International Bonehead Awards
Time to get serious about wtrapping or clicking! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality. --- Clifton Fadiman (1904 - 1999) Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content. --- Louis L'Amour (1908 - 1988)
It's a romantic full moon, when Pedro said, "Hey, mamacita, let's do Weeweechu." "Oh no, not now, let's look at the moon!" said Rosita. "Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I do Weeweechu. I love you and it's the perfect time," Pedro begged. "But I wanna just hold your hand and watch the moon." replied Rosita. Please, corazoncito, just once, do Weeweechu with me." Rosita looked at Pedro and said, "OK, one time, we'll do Weeweechu." Pedro grabbed his guitar and they both sang..... "Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, Weeweechu a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year !
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

An old lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast. "Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady. "Yes," he replied. "Thank goodness!" she said. "I'm sick and tired of shinnying up and down that stupid drainpipe!"
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Koral ben Shimon, Ilmart Christophe, Jefty Joseph in Greenacres, Floriduh Jailed for robbery, kidnapping, murder A 31-year-old Coconut Creek man was kidnapped, robbed and killed after meeting up with a woman who advertised herself as an escort on Backpage.com, deputies say. Koral Ben Shimon, 20, who wrote on the website that she was "looking to have an amazing time," admitted setting Gustavo Cabral up to be robbed by two armed men, according to a Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office arrest report. He ended up shot in the head in the garage of an abandoned Lake Worth house, though it's not clear who pulled the trigger. Ben Shimon, of Greenacres, was arrested Wednesday, joining alleged accomplices Ilmart Christophe and Jefty Joseph, who are already in jail in connection with the Dec. 1 murder. All are charged with homicide. The two men, both 20 and from Lake Worth, have each blamed the other for the shooting, their arrest reports said. Ben Shimon told investigators she didn't know Christophe and Joseph planned to kill Cabral and wasn't there when he was shot. She just set Cabral up. Cabral was forced to increase his credit card credit limit and then withdraw the maximum at various banks the trio drove him to prior to driving him to the garage, where they killed him with five shots to the head. Tech Support Pits From: Sharon Re: Shading Camera LCD Dear Webby, I just read this letter. Thanks so much for the fun. Reading your tip on digital flash brought up a question I have had for some time now. I find it difficult to see what I am trying to take when taking pics in the sunlight, before actually taking the pic. I usually have the sun at my back. Do you have any suggestions on how I can cut the glare on the LCD screen? Thanks for the letter & help section. Merry Christmas to a good friend. Sharon Dear Sharon Nothing new about that. Look at a drawing or picture of a photographer from 200 years ago. You will see them wear a stylish Count Dracula cape, but made from lightweight, cool black or navy satin. You just flip that forward over your head, and the camera is in the shade. Sure, you can do the same with a skirt if you don't mind some extra exposure. A large sombrero can also be helpful, and I have seen funnels made from stiff leather, but they are very cumbersome and awkward. You can make a cape from an old satin sheet or fake silk scarves, and I have seen some that were white or pearl on the outside and lined with black on the inside. A cape made from parachute rayon "silk" folds small enough to fit into a shirt pocket. Just don't lend your cape to another photographer. You'll never get it back. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Work in a Soup Kitchen on Christmas Working in a Soup Kitchen for the homeless on Christmas would show our kids what giving really is. I am planning on doing this with my family this Christmas. By Paula from Brea, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
The manager of a large office noticed one of his department heads had hired a new man, so the boss called him into his office for a little orientation speech. "What is your name?" he asked. "John," the new guy replied. The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last names only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?" The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. John Darling." "Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Asked by his teacher to spell "straight," the third-grade boy did so without error. "Excellent," said the teacher, "now, what does it mean?" "Without water."
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl asked, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only one kiss per yard, " replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out & wrapped the cloth, then teasingly held it out. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a grinning little old lady who was standing beside her. "Grandma will pay the bill," she smiled.

» Silly 'unseasonable' Stuff:


Digital nativity

Today, December 24, in
1818 Franz Gruber of Oberndorf, Germany composed the music 
for "Silent Night" to words written by Josef Mohr.
1865 Several veterans of the Confederate Army formed a 
 private social club in Pulaski, TN, called the Ku Klux Klan.
1906 Reginald A. Fessenden became the first person to 
 broadcast a music program over radio, from Brant Rock, MA.
1914 In World War I, the first air raid on Britain was made 
 when a German airplane dropped a bomb on the grounds of a 
 rectory in Dover.
1944 A German submarine torpedoed the Belgian transport 
 ship S.S. Leopoldville with 2,235 soldiers aboard. About 
 800 American soldiers died. The soldiers were crossing the 
 English Channel to be reinforcements at the battle that 
 become known as the Battle of the Bulge.
1948 The first completely solar-heated house became occupied 
 in Dover, MA.
1951 NBC-TV presented, "Amal and the Night Visitors," the 
 first opera written for television.
1951 Libya achieved independence as the United Kingdom of 
 Libya, under King Idris.
1965 A meteorite landed on Leicestershire. It weighed 
 about 100lbs.
1966 Luna 13 landed on the moon.
1968 The crew of the U.S. Navy ship, Pueblo, was released 
 by North Korea. The Captain of the Pueblo, Commander Lloyd 
 M. Bucher, and 82 of his crew were held for 11 months after 
 the ship was seized by North Korea because of suspected 
 spying by the Americans.
1968 Three astronauts, James A. Lovell, William Anders and 
 Frank Borman, reached the moon. They orbited the moon 10 
 times before coming back to Earth. Seven months later man 
 first landed on the moon.
1979 Soviet troops invaded Afghanistan in support of the 
 country's Marxist government.
1985 Fidel Castro, the Cuban president, announced that he 
 stopped smoking.
1989 Ousted Panamanian ruler Manuel Noriega took refuge at 
 the Vatican's diplomatic mission in Panama City.
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush pardoned former 
 Defense Secretary Caspar Weinberger and five others in the 
 Iran-Contra scandal.
1997 Ilich Ramirez Sanchez, known as "Carlos the Jackal," was 
 sentenced by a French court to life in prison for the 1975 
 murders of two French investigators and a Lebanese national.
2000 The "Texas 7," seven convicts that had escaped a Texas 
 prison, robbed a sports store in Irving, TX. The suspects 
 killed Officer Aubrey Hawkins, stole $70,000, 25 weapons 
 and clothing. The men had escaped on December 13 and were 
 captured about a year later in Colorado.
2013  smiled.


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Lighting for Christmas pictures 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, December 23.

What's the Heirloom Christmas Book about?

It is a BIG e-book with all the stories, that your great
grandmother recited or read to your grandmother, when she
was a kid. I want these stories preserved.

You may know what it is about, when somebody mentions
"bittersweet love like in 'The Gift Of The Magi',"
but with today's education, your kids or even their teachers,
probably don't know. So I collected these classics and put
them all together into one e-book.

This book of Christmas Stories is a cultural treasure, that should
be passed on to our descendants. Since it is in e-book format,
you can put it onto a CD for each kid, and fill the rest of the
CD with family pictures and other keepsakes,
making it a true heirloom.

I have produced a smaller version last year. This final
edition has more stories and illustrations, but I kept the
price down to the same $10.

The Heirloom Christmas Book also makes a nice
Christmas gift!


Click on the
book cover
to get your copy




or click on Heirloom Christmas Book
http://webby.com/cb



Today's International Bonehead Award goes to West Point perv jailed for owning and trading child porn Details at International Bonehead Awards
This morning I briefly listened to the local radio. VERY briefly. Sunday morning I have to divvy out all my pills for the week, and as soon as I sat down to look at my list, which I got online, so that I can see it from anywhere, I clicked on Accuradio, and just for fun slected the FOLK channel. The first song was "Gramma got run over by a reindeer". What a great start of the day! That was followed by one Sing-Along-Song after the other. I think I'll make that channel a habit for early morning. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned. --- Milton Friedman My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. --- Henny Youngman
A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about. For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000. He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll." The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box.. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?" "Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls."
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

Mrs. Johnson decided to have her portrait painted by a famous artist. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant." "But you are not wearing any of those things." "I know," said Mrs. Johnson. "My health is not good and my husband is having an affair with his secretary. When I die I'm sure he will marry her, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry."
Click on the picture for the large version Mt Shasta, I think
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ricky Patrick Hester, 23, from Indiana Jailed for owning and trading child porn A West Point cadet was charged today with receiving or distributing child pornography after federal agents discovered that he swapped illicit videos with online contacts, one of whom he allegedly asked in an e-mail, “Do you trade videos of boys? I love man boy hardcore.” During a court-ordered search yesterday of his barracks, Ricky Patrick Hester, 23, confessed to using an e-mail account (cubs_freak90@yahoo.com) to send and receive videos showing children engaged in sexual acts, according to a felony complaint filed in U.S. District Court. Seen above, Hester, an Indiana native, also reportedly copped to maintaining a Dropbox account holding “20 videos and 100 digital images containing child pornography.” If convicted of the felony charge, Hester faces a mandatory minimum of five years in prison (and a max of 20 years in custody). The investigation of Hester was an outgrowth of an earlier probe targeting an e-mail address that had been used to “express an interest in trading” child porn. An examination of that account by federal agents revealed incriminating correspondence sent from Hester’s Yahoo account. Tech Support Pits From: Georgina Re: Lighting Dear Webby, I realize that flash ruins pictures, so what's your secret for Christmas pictures? Thanks Georgina Dear Georgina You can use a flash, if it is a detachable or remote slave flash, held about as far away as you can reach. If you don't have a slave flash, get one of those rectangular Quartz work lights, that look like an outdoor security light but have a big alligator clip instead of a pipe mount, and can be clipped to a stepladder or shelf. They cost about $12 and provide a very nice and warm light. Again, the best location for the light is an arms length to the side of you and half an arms length higher than the camera. You may have seen clip-art of photographers from two hundred years ago, holding a flash pan up and out at an arms length. They used magnesium and gun powder in a metal dust pan for the flash. Because of the cost of each shot, the location had to be perfect. A flash on the camera might be convenient, but that just produces the flat "deer in the headlights" shots, that you are trying to avoid. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Put Timer on Water Heater Why heat your water for 24 hours? Just install a Hot water heater timer purchased from Lowes. Set the timer for 1 hour before rising in the morning, preferably during non peak hours as designated by Utility and for 1 hour in the evening prior to taking showers and baths, (after Utility peak hours). On Saturday, or laundry day, place the manual setting "on" for laundry day. As the timer cycles it will automatically go back to the timed settings. You can maintain the temperature at 120 degrees while saving money. Source: Info received from Lows Water Heater Timer packaging years ago. By Larry from FL Nowadays, with properly insulated water heaters, that has become obsolete, except maybe in Europe, where they have different electricity rates for different times of the day. Location and insulation make a much bigger difference. Ideally your water heater should be above the "wet" areas, kitchen, bathroom, shower. And it should be in the hot attic, not in the cold basement. Also ideally, you should have one or two old, burned out but not leaking hot water tanks up there, with the insulation stripped, pre-heating the water from the hot attic air. That way the actual water heater gets pre-heated, luke-warm water instead of ice cold water from the main or the well. If there is an extended power failure, you still got luke-warm water for a few days. Next time there is a flood or somebody has an indoor flood, and they put their hot water tank out by the curb, because the inulation got wet, grab it and use it as a pre-heater. Just strip off the insulation, give the neighborhood Rambo a beer to muscle it up into the attic, and connect it into the feed line for the hot water tank. The savings are almost unbelievable! While you are up there, close the attic vents, that the heating fuel distributor talked you into. Open them in the summer, but close them with an old sleeping bag or piece of styrofoam in winter. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Mrs. Hunter was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't believe in capital punishment and didn't want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course. But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness and quiet calm, and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury. "Madam," he explained, "this is not a murder trial! It's a simple civil lawsuit. A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $12,000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday." "Well, okay," agreed Mrs. Hunter, "I'll serve. I guess I could be wrong about capital punishment after all."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A prospective juror was being questioned by the District Attorney for a murder trial that had been in all the papers. "If the defendant were to be convicted tomorrow, could you kill him for his crime ?" "Well, no." replied the man. "But I could do it on Saturday if that would be OK."
A realty salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. "That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?" "Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? Get out there and sell him a houseboat."

» National Geo Winners 2013

Today, December 23, in
1788 Maryland voted to cede a 100-square-mile area 
 for the seat of the national government. About 
 two-thirds of the area became the District of Columbia.
1823 The poem "A Visit from St. Nicholas" by Clement C. Moore 
 (" 'Twas the night before Christmas...") was published.
1834 English architect Joseph Hansom patented his 'safety cab', 
 better known as the Hansom cab.
1880 Thomas Edison incorporated the Edison Electric Light 
 Company of Europe.
1888 Following a quarrel with Paul Gauguin, Dutch painter 
 Vincent Van Gogh cut off part of his own earlobe.
1919 The first ship designed to be used as an ambulance 
 for the transport of patients was launched. The hospital 
 ship was named USS Relief and had 515 beds.
1941 During World War II, American forces on Wake Island 
 surrendered to the Japanese.
1942 Bob Hope agreed to entertain U.S. airmen in Alaska. 
 It was the first of the traditional Christmas shows.
1947 John Bardeen, Walter H. Brattain and William Shockley
 invented the transistor.
1948 Former Japanese premier Hideki Tojo and six other 
 Japanese war leaders were executed in Tokyo. They had been 
 found guilty of crimes against humanity and being on the 
 losing side.
1953 Soviet secret police chief Lavrenti Beria and six of 
 his associates were shot for treason after a secret trial.
1965 A 70-mph speed limit was introduced in Britain.
1968 Eighty-two crewmembers of the U.S. intelligence ship 
 Pueblo were released by North Korea, 11 months after 
 they had been captured.
1981 NASA approved a plan to continue the Voyager II 
 spacecraft on a trajectory that would take it within 66,000 
 miles of Uranus on July 24, 1986.
1986 The experimental airplane Voyager, piloted by Dick 
 Rutan and Jeana Yeager, completed the first non-stop, 
 around-the-world flight without refueling as it landed 
 safely at Edwards Air Force Base in California.
1987 Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, serving a life sentence for 
 the attempted assassination of U.S. President Ford in 1975, 
 escaped from the Alderson Federal Prison for Women in West 
 Virginia. She was recaptured two days later.
1989 Ousted Romanian President Nicolae Ceausescu and his 
 wife, Elena, were captured as they were attempting to 
 flee their country.
1990 Elections in Yugoslavia ended, leaving four of its 
 six republics with non-Communist governments.
1995 A fire in Dabwali, India, killed 540 people, including 
 170 children, during a year-end party being held near the 
 children's school.
1997 Terry Nichols was convicted by a Denver jury on charges 
 of conspiracy and involuntary manslaughter in the 1995 
 federal building bombing in Oklahoma City. The bomb killed 
 168 people and severely injured my friend Martin.
1998 Guerrillas in south Lebanon fired dozens of rockets 
at northern Israel. 
2013  smiled.


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Switching to Firefox 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, December 22.
Days are starting to get longer again now!


Home4Christmas.com is for sale. The sale of this domain name includes a quarter year hosting, and a basic site design. You have to gather the pictures yourself, though, and put some text together. The text can be in email or word processor or text file, or HTML, if you are already familiar with it. Once you have your own site, you can, of course edit and expand at any time. I will just make a headstart desgn for you, if you want that. If you want to make money with this during NEXT Christmas, then there is no need to hurry, but you should get organized soon.
Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Two Florida Boneheads, who were finally jailed for robbing an armless man Details at International Bonehead Awards
Phyllis sent me this ICQ card: http://dpkgi.free.fr/files/deerz2.swf In the early days of the Internet, before everybody left ICQ and moved to Skype as suddenly as they had moved to ICQ from PowWow and MSN, we used to have a pretty good time there. Now that all the reasons, why everybody stampeded to Skype, have evaporated, and Microsoft is trashing Skype, it is time to consider going back to ICQ. I went back to http://ICQ.com tonight, and after a dozen years away, my user name and profile was still working. I was impressed! It will take a while to get familiar with it again, and even longer to see who else is using it. I found out why Skype has fixed fonts in the contact list and Toos / Options, and microsoft is unable to fix that problem. Apparently the original owners of Skype copied those parts from ICQ, and forgot to tell Microsoft about that. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. --- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) Today's public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can't read them either. --- Gore Vidal (1925 - ) "British scientists are now seeking permission to fuse human cells with rabbit eggs. Their goal is to create a human with a lucky foot." --- Jay Leno Your children weren't made to like you. That's what grandchildren are for. --- Plato We know cellphones don't interfere with navigation equipment on airlines, but they sure do tick off the person sitting next to you. --- Socratex
Pete had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Pete went to his doctor, who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Pete slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

A man walked into a dress shop and told the clerk he wanted to buy an evening gown for his wife for Christmas. "What size?" asked the clerk. The man shrugged blankly. Trying to help, the clerk inquired, "Well then, what are your wife's measurements?" The man thought for a moment. "Small, medium, and large, in that order."
Click on the picture for the large version Mt Shasta, I think
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Oliver Bozeman, 25, Courtney Edge, 25 Floriduh Jailed for robbing an armless man Police in Florida arrested two suspects accused of stealing $300 from Havalah Pitts, an armless man. The alleged robbery occurred in Pompano Beach in October, but the investigation culminated with the arrests of Courtney Edge and Oliver Bozeman, both 25, on Tuesday, the New York Daily News reported. A spokesman for the Broward sheriff's office called it "a vile act, a new low for criminals," the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported. Edge and Boozeman were charged with robbery and abusing a disabled or elderly adult, according to the Broward County Sheriff's office. The defenseless victim was born without arms, according to the South Florida Sun Sentinel. Each man is charged with robbery and abuse to an elderly or disabled adult without great physical harm. Judge Hurley ordered Edge held in lieu of $55,000 bond. Bozeman was held without bond because he was already out on bond in a different case. Hurley said Bozeman has an extensive criminal record including past strong arm robberies. Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Upgrade to Firefox Hi, Webby. First, thanks for all the questions you answer daily in your Humor letter, it's been a fantastic help to me and I'm sure others as well. I now have a question. I'm on Sympatico, have IE 8 and a lot of websites tell me it's outdated and old and are pointing me to Firefox or Chrome. I looked at Firefox and I like it to best. My question is this, how do I change from IE8 to Firefox? And how will it affect my computer? I'm a semi-novice at this, not an idiot, but not and expert! haha Hope you can help me, Thanks for all you do, Wendy Dear Wendy Sympatico has email problems, but browsing web sites is usually quite OK. Upgrading from IE8, or any year IE, is easy. Just download FireFox and install it. It will ask you, if you want to bring over your favorites and cookies and stuff. Just agree to that, and it will all be done in a minute or so. Then it asks you, if you want it to be your main browser. Hit OK on that. After that you can run it as is, or browse for free Add-Ons. TOOLS OPTIONS ADDONS For example, I use ColorfulTabs, FlagFox, YouTube-to-MP3, and SaveMyTabs. There may be all kinds of others, that may eventually strike your fancy. There is no rush. If you feel a need for some Add-On, browse for it. Most likely, there is one just waiting. FireFox works quite well without any of those Add-Ons. For example, the FlagFox simply shows a tiny flag of the country, where that web site is based. Cute, but like all those Add-ons, usually not really necessary. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Candy Filled Canning Jar Christmas Gifts I always have canning jars around. At Christmas, I fill some with assorted Christmas colored candy; those star brite mints, gold and silver foil wrapped candies, etc. Linda Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the preacher said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Bill I remember a Christmas years ago when my son was a kid. I bought him a tank. It was about a hundred dollars, a lot of money in those days. It was the kind of tank you could actually get inside and ride. Instead, after hours of assembly on my part, he ended up played in the box it came in. It taught me a valuable lesson. Next year he got a box, and I got a hundred dollars' worth of scotch.
A guy and a girl are having a drink together in a bar. The man raises his glass and says, "Here's hoping you're in Heaven ten minutes before the devil knows you're dead!" "What's that mean?" asks the girl. "That," answers her date, "is an authentic Irish toast." "Oh. Well, here's to bread, eggs and cinnamon." "Bread, eggs and cinnamon? What's that?" The girl says, "That's French toast."

» National Geo Winners 2013

Today, December 22, in
1715 James Stuart, the "Old Pretender", landed at Petershead 
 after his exile in France.
1775 A Continental naval fleet was organized in the 
 rebellious American colonies under Ezek Hopkins.
1807 The U.S. Congress passed the Embargo Act, designed 
 to force peace between Britain and France by cutting 
 off all trade with them.
1864 During the American Civil War, Union Gen. Sherman sent 
 a message to U.S. President Lincoln from Georgia. The 
 message read, "I beg to present you as a Christmas gift, 
 the city of Savannah."
1894 French army officer Alfred Dreyfus was convicted of 
 treason in a court-martial that triggered worldwide charges 
 of anti-Semitism. Dreyfus was eventually vindicated.
1895 German physicist Wilhelm Röntgen made the first X-ray, 
 of his wife's hand.
1939 Gloria Jacobs became the first girl to hold a world 
 pistol record when she shot 299 out of a possible 300 
 points. She was 17 years old at the time.
1956 The last British and French forces evacuated Egypt.
1990 Lech Walesa was sworn in as Poland's first popularly 
 elected president.
1998 A unit of RJR Nabsico pled guilty to attempting to 
 smuggle cigarettes into Canada.
2013  smiled.


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Desktop shortcut to Internet Radio 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, December 21.


Home4Christmas.com is for sale. The sale of this domain name includes a quarter year hosting, and a basic site design. You have to gather the pictures yourself, though, and put some text together. The text can be in email or word processor or text file, or HTML, if you are already familiar with it. Once you have your own site, you can, of course edit and expand at any time. I will just make a headstart desgn for you, if you want that. If you want to make money with this during NEXT Christmas, then there is no need to hurry, but you should get organized soon.
Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a guy in Oklahoma who made a Marriage Proposal during his arrest Details at International Bonehead Awards
Three more days to panic. Then you will have to get serious! By the way, this is, always has been and always will remain a Merry Christmas site. Season's Holiday is April 1, not in December. So, save your "Season's Greetings" for four months or risk looking really stupid. Hannukhah is already over, that was November 27 to Dec 5. In 2016 it will coincide with Christmas. Sad news from Sweden. Lillemor wrote me just shortly before I was going to check the live camera. The Yulebokken (Christmas Goat) in Gavle was burned down just a few hours ago. :( The pranksters won, again. The expensive fire retardant was totally useless. Unfortunately the people in Gavle focus on being cute. Elin, Tiger Woods' ex. is from there. Her mother is the Governor. Quite cute. But not smart enough to put some remote controlled garden hoses there and have volunteers over the internet controll them via a cheap X-10 Internet interface. That is apparently too Hi-Tech for people focusing on being cute. They could have used a lawn sprinkler on top to cover the whole Yulebokken in a six foot thick coat of ice. But for that they might have to get Ole and Sven back from Minna-Sohta. Sad! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately. --- Russell Baker (1925 - ) You are just as old as the woman you feel. --- Groucho Marx
Thanks to Dianne for this comparisons between Christmas and Hannukha: Jews love Dec. 25th. It's another paid day off work. We go to movies and out for Chinese food, and Israeli dancing. Chanukah is eight days. It starts the evening of the 24th of Kislev, whenever that falls. No one is ever sure. Jews never know until a non Jewish friend asks when Chanukah starts, forcing us to consult a calendar, so we don't look like idiots. We all have the same calendar, provided free with a donation from either the World Jewish Congress, the kosher butcher, or the local Sinai Memorial Chapel (especially in Florida). * Christmas is a major holiday, a Statutory (paid) holiday, * Chanukah is a minor holiday with the same theme as most Jewish holidays: They tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat!!! * Christians get wonderful presents such as jewelry, perfume, stereos... * Jews get practical presents such as underwear, socks, Viagra, or a the collected works of the Rambam which looks impressive on the bookshelf. * There is only one way to spell Christmas. * No one can decide how to spell Chanuka, Chanukah, Chanukka, Channukah,Hanukah, Hannuka, whatever. * Christmas is a time of great pressure for husbands and boyfriends. Their partners expect special gifts. * Jewish men are relieved of that burden. No one expects a diamond ring on Chanukah, not even a fake one. * Christmas brings enormous electric bills. * Candles are used for Chanukah. Not only are we spared enormous electric bills, but we get to feel good about not contributing to the energy crisis. * Christmas carols are beautiful. Silent Night, Come o Ye Faithful..... * Chanukah songs are about dreidels made from clay or about having a party and dancing the Hora. Of course, we are secretly pleased that many of the beautiful carols were composed and written by Jews. And don't Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond sing them beautifully? And made tons of money singing them? * A home preparing for Christmas smells wonderful. The sweet smell of cookies and cakes baking. Happy people are gathered around in festive moods. * A home preparing for Cha nukah smells of oil, potatoes and garlic and onions. The home, is always full of loud people all talking at once about nothing anybody is interested in. * Christian women have fun baking Christmas cookies. * Jewish women burn their eyes and cut their hands grating potatoes and onions for latkes on Chanukah. Another reminder of our suffering through the ages. * Parents deliver gifts to their children during Christmas. * Jewish parents have no qualms about withholding a gift any of the eight nights of Chanukah. * The players in the Christmas story have easy to pronounce names such as Mary, Joseph and Jesus. * The players in the Chanukah story are Antiochus, Judah, Maccabee, and Matta-whatever. No one can spell it or pronounce it the same twice in a row. On the plus side, we can tell our friends any BS, and they believe we are wonderfully versed in our history. * In recent years, Christmas has become more and more commercialized. * The same holds true for Chanukah, even though it is a minor holiday. It makes sense. How could we market a major holiday such as Yom Kippur? Forget about celebrating. Think observing. Come to synagogue, starve yourself for... 27 hours, become one with your dehydrated soul, beat your chest, confess your sins, make everybody else feel guiltier than you, a guaranteed good time for you and your family. Tickets a mere $200 per person. * Christians greet each other with "Merry Christmas" and a smile. * Jews greet Christians with "Merry Christmas" and a smile, so that they won't be asked when Hanukhah is, or how it is spelled. Jews greet other Jews with "Nu?"and hurry on before the other can start complaining.
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

Thanks to Rose for this story: I was taking a shower when my 2-year-old son came into the bathroom and wrapped himself in toilet paper. Although he made a mess, he looked adorable, so I ran for my camera and took a few shots. They came out so well that I had copies made and included one with each of our Christmas cards. Days later, a relative called about the picture, laughing hysterically and suggesting I take a closer look. Puzzled, I stared at the photo and was shocked to discover that in addition to my son, I had captured my reflection in the mirror--- wearing nothing but a camera!
Click on the picture for the large version Fire Blower
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Stephen Goss, 53, Hacketstown, NJ Marriage Proposal during arrest Reported by Moe Talk about a marriage proposal to remember. An Oklahoma man proposed to his girlfriend last week while an officer tried to arrest him on two outstanding warrants. An officer spotted Justin Harrel of Elk City in a local park last Friday and discovered that he had outstanding warrants out of two counties for obtaining cash or merchandise by bogus check, according to court documents. Police said Harrel resisted arrest at first. "I advised Justin that he was under arrest and directed him to turn around and place his hands behind his back," the officer wrote in his police report. "Justin said, 'Steve, let's talk about this. Give me five minutes.'" When the officer took him into custody, Harrel explained that he was about to propose to his girlfriend. He asked if he could go ahead with the proposal. The officer allowed Harrel to complete the marriage proposal, and Harrel's girlfriend eventually said yes. Harrel then asked the officer to get the engagement ring from his coat pocket and give it to her. The officer handed the ring to the girlfriend. Harrel was not cited for resisting an officer. Tech Support Pits From: Molly Re: Desktop Shortcut to internet Radio Dear Webby Thank you very much for posting the link to accuradio. I enjoy listening to the music from the 60's. My question is.. Is there a way I can make a short cut to have the link on my desktop? is it possible? Thanking you in advance. Molly. Dear Molly! That is really easy! 1) locate a free spot on the desktop, that you can get to, when the browser is open. 2) Go to http://accuradio.com and there to your favorite channel 3) Look at the left corner of the address bar on the browser. You will see an icon there. 4) Drag that icon to your free spot on the desktop That is all there is to it! You can, of course, move that icon around, and if your Taskbar is unlocked, even drag it onto the Taskbar. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Cutlery Tray for Desk Drawer Organizer Ever wondered what other uses cutlery trays have? I cheaply sourced one at a garage sale recently with an extra sliding top tray which lifts off. I ended up using it to store/ organize stationary bits and pieces in a drawer in our computer room. Before this I was going to use it in my make-up/hair accessory drawer. By Knitwit Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A certain tax attorney took on a very complex case of tax evasion for a rather mysterious client. He devoted over a year to the case, familiarizing himself with every loophole and angle of current legislation, and made a brilliant argument before the court. His client was called out of town when the jury returned with its verdict, a sweeping victory for his client on every count. Flushed with victory, the lawyer exuberantly cabled his client, "Justice has triumphed!" A realistic fellow, the client immediately wired back, "Appeal at once!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up." "That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."
After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a good Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys instead!"

» Eggnog

Today, December 21, in
1620 The "Mayflower", and its passengers, pilgrims from 
 England, landed at Plymouth Rock, MA.
1898 Scientists Pierre and Marie Curie discovered the 
 radioactive element radium.
1944 Horse racing was banned in the United States until 
 after the end of World War II.
1945 U.S. Gen. George S. Patton died in Heidelberg, 
 Germany, of injuries from a car accident.
1948 The state of Eire (formerly the Irish Free State) 
 declared its independence.
1968 Apollo 8 was launched on a mission to orbit the moon. 
 The craft landed safely in the Pacific Ocean on December 27.
1971 The U.N. Security Council chose Kurt Waldheim to 
 succeed U Thant as secretary-general.
1988 270 people were killed when Pan Am Boeing 747 exploded
 over Lockerbie, Scotland, due to a terrorist attack.
1991 Eleven of the 12 former Soviet republics proclaimed 
 the birth of the Commonwealth of Independent States.
1995 The city of Bethlehem passed from Israeli to 
 Palestinian control.
1998 A Chinese court sentenced two dissidents to long prison
 terms for attempting to organize an opposition party.
1998 The first vaccine for Lyme disease was approved.
2002 Larry Mayes was released after spending 21 years in 
 prison for a rape that he maintained that he never committed. 
 He was the 100th person in the U.S. to be released after 
 DNA tests were performed. 
2013  smiled.


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How to deal with telemarketers 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, December 20.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!




Home4Christmas.com is for sale. The sale of this domain name includes a quarter year hosting, and a basic site design. You have to gather the pictures yourself, though, and put some text together. The text can be in email or word processor or text file, or HTML, if you are already familiar with it. Once you have your own site, you can, of course edit and expand at any time. I will just make a headstart desgn for you, if you want that. If you want to make money with this during THIS Christmas, then you better hurry!
Today's International Bonehead Award goes to NJ drunk who showed up impaired for the drivers license road test Details at International Bonehead Awards
No UFO tonight. Sky was clear, but they seem to have gone, turned their lights off, or are simply not reflecting the moon tonight. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral. --- Robert Orben
One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going." "Why not?" she asked. I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like them." His mother replied, "I'll give YOU two good reasons why YOU SHOULD go to church. (1) You're 57 years old, and (2) you're the pastor!"
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

Horowitz was feeling ill at work, and left after lunch to go home. He walked into the house and found his wife Fanny in the arms of another man. He started to yell at the interloper, "What right have you got to be messing with my wife?" The man answered calmly, "You may as well know that I am in love with Fanny and I would like to marry her. I understand you're a gambler. Why don't you be a good sport and sit down and play a game of gin rummy with me? If I lose, I'll never see her again; if you lose, you must agree to divorce her.... Okay?" "Okay," replied Horowitz, "but just to make it a little more interesting, why don't we play for a dollar a point?"
Click on the picture for the large version Fire Blower
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Stephen Goss, 53, Hacketstown, NJ Showed up drunk for drivers license road test A Hackettstown man is accused of trying to take his drivers license road test while drunk, police said. Officer Daniel Novoa was dispatched to the Motor Vehicle Commission office on Canfield Avenue on Dec. 11 after a test instructor detected a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emanating from 53-year-old Stephen Goss, police said. Goss had allegedly driven his vehicle from Hackettstown to the office and when the instructor thought she smelled alcohol on his breath, she contacted her supervisor, who had another employee contact police. Novoa arrived at the scene and found Goss behind the wheel with the engine running, waiting to take the test, police said. He was not allowed to take the test but was asked to perform the standardized field sobriety test before he was charged with driving while intoxicated and reckless driving, police said. Tech Support Pits From: Brett Re: Telemarketers Dear Webby You posted a good way to deal with telemarketers at one time. They did not bother me in those days, so I did not pay attention. My whole life seems to be like that. Can you please tell us again? Thanks Brett Dear Brett When I get a call, I mute the Internet radio from http://accuradio.com If the call is from a typical call center, either an 888 or similar number, or a forged name like "COLORADO", I click the phone onto speaker-phone mode. I don't have a girlfriend named COLORADO, actually, until I win the lottery, I don't realistically expect to have a girlfriend. When the telemarketer finally talks, I wait for a break, then tell him "Please Hold!" and click the Internet Radio off the Mute. Pretty snazzy HOLD music! He probably works for a company, that intends to put me on hold, if I ever want anything. While the telemarketer waits for me to take him off the HOLD, I continue working. Eventually he will give up and go bother somebody else. There is no point getting all riled up. Just put them on HOLD and grin. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keeping Kitty Out of Your Christmas Tree I have been dealing with my year old kitty climbing into and knocking over my Christmas tree until I came up with this idea! I blew up balloons and added them to the tree! She jumped in and accidentally popped one causing her to jump off immediately! It stopped her from jumping into it again, so now I can finish decorating it, but I think I will still leave some in the tree, just in case. :D By Donna Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, ''Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat.'' The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient. ''Sir,'' the usher said, ''if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager.'' Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly. ''All right buddy, what's your name?'' ''Sam,'' the man moaned. ''Where ya from, Sam?'' the cop asked. ''The balcony.''
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Rheta for sending this poem: When I was very little, All the Grandmas that I knew All walked around this world, In ugly grandma shoes. You know the ones I speak of, Those black clunky heeled kind, They just looked so very awful That it weighed upon my mind, For I knew, when I grew old, I'd have to wear those shoes, I'd think of that, from time to time It seemed like such bad news. I never was a rebel, I wore saddle shoes to school. And next came ballerinas Then the sandals, pretty cool. And then came spikes with pointed toes, Then platforms, very tall, As each new fashion came I wore them, one and all. But always, in the distance, Looming in my future, there, Was that awful pair of ugly shoes, The kind that Grandmas wear. I eventually got married And then I became a Mom. Our kids grew up and left, And then their children came along. I knew I was a Grandma And the time was drawing near, When those clunky, black, old lace up shoes Was what I'd have to wear. How would I do my gardening? Or take my morning hike? I couldn't even think about How I would ride my bike! But fashions kept evolving, And one day I realized That the shape of things to come Was changing, right before my eyes. And now, when I go shopping What I see, fills me with glee. For, in my jeans and Reeboks I'm as comfy as can be. And I look at all these teenage girls And there, upon their feet Are clunky, black, old Grandma shoes, And they really think they're neat.
As a teacher, Ms. Jones, was very curious about how each of her students celebrated Christmas. She called on young Patrick Murphy. "Tell me Patrick what do you do at Christmas time?", she asked. Patrick addressed the class, "Well Ms. Jones, me and my twelve brothers and sisters go to the midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late, and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then, all excited, we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys". "Very nice Patrick", she said. "Now, Jimmy Brown what do you do at Christmas?" "Well, Ms. Jones, me and my sister also go to Church with Mom and Dad and we sing carols, and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We hardly sleep, waiting for Santa Claus to bring our presents." Realizing there was a Jewish boy in the class and not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, she asked, "Now, Isaac Cohen, what do you do at Christmas?" Isaac said, "Well, it's the same thing every year. Dad comes home from the office. We all pile into the Rolls Royce, then we drive to his toy store. When we get inside, we look at all the empty shelves and begin to sing 'What a Friend We Have in Jesus'. Then we all go to the Bahamas."

» Natural Snowflakes

Today, December 20, in
1606 The "Susan Constant," "Godspeed" and "Discovery" set 
 sail from London. Their landing at Jamestown, VA, was the 
 start of the first permanent English settlement in America.
1699 Peter the Great ordered that the Russian New Year be 
 changed from September 1 to January 1.
1790 The first successful cotton mill in the United States 
 began operating at Pawtucket, RI.
1803 The United States Senate ratified a treaty that included 
 the purchase of the Louisiana Territories from France for 
 $15 million. The transfer was completed with formal 
 ceremonies in New Orleans.
1820 The state of Missouri enacted legislation to tax 
 bachelors between the ages of 21-50 for being unmarried. 
 The tax was $1 a year.
1864 Confederate forces evacuated Savannah, GA as Union Gen. 
 William T. Sherman continued his "March to the Sea."
1879 Thomas A. Edison privately demonstrated his incandescent 
 light at Menlo Park, NJ.
1880 New York's Broadway became known as the "Great White Way" 
 when it was lighted by electricity.
1892 Alexander T. Brown and George Stillman patented the 
 pneumatic tire.
1928 Mail delivery by dog sled began in Lewiston, ME.
1938 Vladimir Kosma Zworykin patented the iconoscope 
 television system.
1946 In Indochina (Vietnam), full-scale guerrilla warfare 
 between Vietnam partisans and French troops began.
1963 The Berlin Wall was opened for the first time to 
 West Berliners. It was only for the holiday season. It 
 closed again on January 6, 1964.
1987 More than 3,000 people were killed when the Dona Paz, 
 a Philippine passenger ship, collided with the tanker Vector 
 off Mindoro island, setting off a double explosion.
1989 General Noriega, Panama's dictator, was overthrown by a 
 United States invasion force invited by the new civilian 
 government. The project was known as Operation Just Cause.
1994 Marcelino Corniel, a homeless man, was shot and mortally 
 wounded by White House security officers. He had brandished 
 a knife near the executive mansion.
1995 An American Airlines Boeing 757 en route to Cali, 
 Colombia, crashed into a mountain, killing all but four of 
 the 163 people aboard.
1996 Doctors reported that a Cypriot woman who had taken 
 fertility drugs was carrying about 11 embryos.
1998 In Houston, TX, a 27-year-old woman gave birth to the 
 only known living set of octuplets.
1999 The Vermont Supreme Court ruled that homosexual couples 
 were entitled to the same benefits and protections as wedded 
 couples of the opposite sex.
1999 Sovereignty over the colony of Macao was transferred 
 from Portugal to China.
2001 The U.S. Congress passed a $20 billion package to finance 
 the war against terrorism taking place in Afghanistan.
2001 The first British peacekeepers arrived in Afghanistan 
 to help the nation heal after decades of war.
2013  smiled.


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Which Internet Radio? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, December 19.


Home4Christmas.com is for sale. The sale of this domain name includes a quarter year hosting, and a basic site design. You have to gather the pictures yourself, though, and put some text together. The text can be in email or word processor or text file, or HTML, if you are already familiar with it. Once you have your own site, you can, of course edit and expand at any time. I will just make a headstart desgn for you, if you want that. If you want to make money with this during THIS Christmas, then you better hurry!
Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a drunk who was jailed for slugging his mother, because he was too stupid to understand why there was no ornament with his name. Details at International Bonehead Awards
No UFO tonight. Somehow, they don't seem to like blizzards, or maybe their lights are just not made to shine through an earthly blizzard. If the lights I saw were just the moon reflecting off two big windows or shiny sections, then of course I can't expect them to get through the blizzard any more than the moon does. We'll see tomorrow. I sure could have used their help getting my wheelie-bin out of a three foot high snow drift and through a few two- footers down to the street. No such luck. So I went and asked Curt, the local Rambo for help. No problem! More town names from James: Ramsbottom, England Dickshooter, Idaho Assless, Scotland Cockgag, Ohio Bird In Hand, Pennsylvania French lick, Indiana Hornytown, North Carolina Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new. --- Ursula K. LeGuin Let thy speech be short, comprehending much in a few words. --- Aprocrypha
Minister at a funeral service, "Friends, let us say goodbye to our beloved, departed friend. Let us remember that here lies only the shell-- the nut has gone!"
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

>From Red The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind people when the light is red. She responded, "Amazing! In a blizzard like this, nobody sees much more than the blind people, so that buzzer gives blind drivers a cool advantage!" I don't want to be out there if and when she is driving!
Thanks to Terry for this picture of her favorite Squirrel: Ferby5 Click on the picture for the large version Sandie's Rainbow
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andrew Sosa, Jailed For Leaving 4-Month-Old Daughter In Car While He Enjoyed Strip Club Bad dad of the year nominee Andrew Sosa left his 4-month-old daughter in the car, covered in vomit and dehydrated, while he went to a Florida strip club, police say. Sosa, 21, was arrested and charged with child neglect late Friday when a witness in Fort Myers saw the baby inside a locked car at Lookers strip club, according to the News- Press. The witness flagged down an officer, who was forced to smash a window to get the baby out when he couldn't find a caretaker nearby. The baby was reportedly sweating and sick. She was taken to a nearby hospital to be treated for dehydration, NBC-2 in Fort Myers reports. Meanwhile, Sosa was allegedly at Lookers. Police say he left the victim in the car for more than three hours, but the baby's uncle refutes the claim. Sosa appeared in court Saturday, and his bond was set at $100,000, according to the New York Daily News. Tech Support Pits From: Helen Re: Internet Radio Dear Webby Thank you so much for your newsletter. I have misplaced the link to the online radio you spoke about. Will you please let me know where it is located? Thanks again Helen Dear Helen I use Accuradio http://accuradio.com They have countless channels and you can further customize your channels by banning artists, that you don't like. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Christmas Tree Tips If you buy a natural tree, check the ends of the needles. Rub some of the sprigs between your fingers. If needles fall off, the tree is already dry. If not, it's a good one. Cut 1 inch or so off the bottom before you put it into the stand, this will allow it to soak up more water and it will last longer. Keep the water level in your tree stand deep enough to cover the cut base of the trunk, so it can continue to absorb water. If the cut end of the base dries out, the tree will dry out very quickly, too. Try to keep the water level steady. In the first week, a tree in your home will draw up as much as a quart of water per day. Aspirin, sugar, or commercial mixes added to the water do not appear to really help your tree last much longer. Just keep it watered. Jane Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
When I worked for the security department of a large retail store, my duties included responding to fire and burglar alarms. A side door of the building was wired with a security alarm, because it was not supposed to be used by customers. Nevertheless they found the convenience of the exit tempting. Even a sign with large red letters, warning "Alarm will sound if opened," failed to deter people from using it. One day, after attending to a number of shrieking alarms, I placed a small handmade sign on the door that totally eliminated the problem: "Wet paint."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Alex Tiring of the same old buzz cut from the base barber at Fort Dix, New Jersey, I went into town to get my haircut. The hairdresser noticed my accent and asked where I was from. "Trinidad," I said. "Is that in Arabia?" "The Caribbean." She laughed, "Sorry, I never was very good at geometry."
Even Mother Superior knew good milk when she drank it. The 98-year-old Mother Superior from Ireland was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink but she refused. Then one of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother," the nuns asked with humility, "please give us some wisdom before you die." She raised herself up in bed and with a pious look on her face said, "Don't sell that cow."

» Natural Snowflakes

Today, December 19, in
1154 Henry II became King of England.
1562 The Battle of Dreux was fought between the Huguenots 
 and the Catholics, beginning the French Wars of Religion.
1732 Benjamin Franklin began publishing "Poor Richard's Almanac."
1776 Thomas Paine published his first "American Crisis" essay.
1777 General George Washington led his army of about 11,000 
 men to Valley Forge, PA, to camp for the winter.
1842 Hawaii's independence was recognized by the U.S.
1843 Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" was first 
 published in England.
1871 Corrugated paper was patented by Albert L. Jones.

1887 Jake Kilrain and Jim Smith fought in a bare knuckles 
 fight which lasted 106 rounds and 2 hours and 30 minutes. 
 The fight was ruled a draw and was halted due to darkness.
1903 The Williamsburg Bridge opened in New York City. It 
 opened as the largest suspension bridge on Earth and remained 
 the largest until 1924. It was also the first major 
 suspension bridge to use steel towers to support the main 
 cable.
1907 A coalmine explosion in Jacobs Creek, PA, killed 239 
 workers.
1957 Air service between London and Moscow was inaugurated.
1972 Apollo 17 splashed down in the Pacific, ending the 
 Apollo program of manned lunar landings.
1984 Britain and China signed an accord returning Hong Kong 
 to Chinese sovereignty on July 1, 1997.
1986 The Soviet Union announced it had freed dissident Andrei 
 Sakharov from internal exile, and pardoned his wife, 
 Yelena Bonner.
1989 U.S. troops invaded Panama to overthrow the regime of 
 General Noriega.
1996 The school board of Oakland, CA, voted to recognize 
 Black English, also known as "ebonics." The board later 
 reversed its stance.
1997 "Titanic" opened in American movie theaters.
1998 U.S. President Bill Clinton was impeached on two 
 charges of perjury and obstruction of justice by the 
 U.S. House of Representatives.
1998 A four-day bombing of Iraq by British and American 
 forces ended.
2000 The U.N. Security Council voted to impose sanctions on 
 Afghanistan's Taliban rulers unless they closed all terrorist 
 training camps and surrender U.S. embassy bombing suspect 
 Osama bin Laden.
2003 Images for the new design for the Freedom Tower at the 
 World Trade Center site were released. The building slopes 
 into a spire that reaches 1,776 feet.
2008 U.S. President George W. Bush signed a $17.4 billion 
 rescue package of loans for ailing auto makers 
 General Motors and Chrysler. 
2013  smiled.


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PeoplePC putting good mail into Spam 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, December 18.


Home4Christmas.com is for sale. The sale of this domain name includes a quarter year hosting, and a basic site design. You have to gather the pictures yourself, though, and put some text together. The text can be in email or word processor or text file, or HTML, if you are already familiar with it. Once you have your own site, you can, of course edit and expand at any time. I will just make a headstart desgn for you, if you want that. If you want to make money with this during THIS Christmas, then you better hurry!
Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a drunk who was jailed for slugging his mother, because he was too stupid to understand why there was no ornament with his name. Details at International Bonehead Awards
On my walk tonight I saw what looked like a UFO. No it was not the moon, if anything, it looked like the moon was reflecting off 2 fairly large surfaces on it. The two reflecting surfaces, or lights with a cool, moon like hue, were one above the other, with the lower one about half that vertical distance offset towards the north. Those reflections or lights did not move during the 15 minutes, that they were in my field of view during my walk. It did not surprise me, that the mystery lights were at the same direction as where I saw and photographed that alien laser a couple of months ago. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

All power corrupts, but we need the electricity. --- Unknown I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. --- Henny Youngman
>From Donnie God said, 'Adam, I Want you to do something for Me.' Adam said, 'Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?' God said, 'Go down into that valley.' Adam said, 'What's a valley?' God explained it to him. Then God said, 'Cross the river.' Adam said, 'What's a river?' God explained that to him, and then said, 'Go over to the hill....' Adam said, 'What is a hill?' So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, 'On the other side of the hill you will find a cave.' Adam said, 'What's a cave?' After God explained, He said, 'In the cave you will find a woman.' Adam said, 'What's a woman?' So God explained that to him too. Then, God said, 'I want you to reproduce.' Adam said, 'How do I do that?' God first said (under His breath), 'Geez.....' And then, just like everything else, God explained that to Adam as well. So, Adam goes down into the valley, Across the river, and over the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman. Then, in about five minutes, he was back. God, His patience wearing thin, said angrily, 'What is it now?' And Adam said: 'What's a headache?'
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

Frederick II, the eighteenth-century king of Prussia, fancied himself an enlightened monarch, and in some respects he was. On one occasion he is supposed to have interested himself in conditions in the Berlin prison and was escorted through it so that he might speak to the prisoners. One after the other, the prisoners fell to their knees before him, bewailing their lot and, predictably, protesting their utter innocence of all charges that had been brought against them. Only one prisoner remained silent, and finally Frederick's curiosity was aroused. "You," he called. "You there." The prisoner looked up. "Yes, Your Majesty?" "Why are you here?" "Armed robbery, Your Majesty." "And are you guilty?" "Entirely guilty, Your Majesty. I deserve my punishment." At this Frederick rapped his cane sharply on the ground and said, "Warden, release this guilty wretch at once. I will not have him here in jail, where, by example, he will corrupt all the splendid innocent people who occupy it."
Click on the picture for the large version Sandie's Rainbow
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lewis, Atwood, 33, Casco, Michigan Jailed For Punching Mother In Face While Decorating Christmas Tree A Michigan man repeatedly punched his mother in the face while decorating the family Christmas tree after noticing that “there was an ornament with his brother’s name on it and that there were no ornaments with his name,” according to police. Cops responded to a home in Casco Township late Friday night after a 911 call was placed from the residence. While nobody was on the line, a dispatcher heard “yelling and screaming in the background and a woman screaming ‘You are hurting me,’” deputies reported. An investigation by the Allegan County Sheriff’s Office determined that Lewis Atwood, 33, slugged his mother Sandra, 58, in the face “four or five times” while trimming the Christmas tree with his girlfriend and brother. Police allege that the accused assailant was drunk and became incensed after discovering that only his younger sibling’s name appeared on an ornament. Sandra Atwood suffered a bloody nose, swollen eye, and swollen lip during the attack by her son, who had “minor injuries to his knuckles and hands that would be consistent with this type of assault,” deputies reported. Atwood, pictured above, was arrested for domestic violence and booked into the county jail, where he is locked up in lieu of $5000 bond. ------------ I hope Santa or anybody else is not going to bail him out! Tech Support Pits From: Ev Re: Newsletter in spam folder Dear Webby's Humor Letter - Daily Newsletter Hi---I think I am subscribed to your "Webby" newsletter and = humor......However, the copy you sent ended up in my Spam section and I jsut discovered it...Can you find a way to bypass the Spam problem for me....I would enjoy the newsleter.. Ev Dear Ev All I do is write and send the Humor Letter out to you. Once it has entered the Peoplepc.com server, there is nothing more that I can do about it. How you set your spam controls, that is entirely up to you. If you want, you can contact Peoplepc support and get them to help you correct your spam control settings. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reuse Produce Bags for Food Storage The clear fruit and veggie bags that I get at the grocery store (the ones in the fresh produce section that are on a roll) make excellent freezer bags. Because they're thin, I double them up. And because they're usually too long for my need, I simply tie a knot where I need it and snip off the remaining tail. Source: Living on a tight budget. By Mlina from Amherstburg, ON Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
An Irishman walks into a bar and says "Bartender, one round for everyone, on me!" The bartender says, "Well, Murph, seems you're in a really good mood tonight, hm?" Murphy says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the city to go around and remove all the money from parking meters. I start on Monday!" The bartender congratulates the man and proceeds to pour the round. Monday evening arrives. Murphy comes back into the bar and says "Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!" The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be when you get your paycheck!" Murphy looks at the bartender with a wondrous look on his face, pulls out a handful of quarters from his pocket, and says "You mean they'll PAY me on top of it?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

It was 6 p.m., and I was about to leave the coin laundry where I was employed. My boss called me over and asked if I would mind dropping off someone's laundry on my way home. "It's for my cousin," she apologized, "who's eight months pregnant and can't get out much anymore." I cheerfully agreed and, driving to the address, knocked at the door. A little girl, the sister-to-be, answered. "Hi, there," I said with a big smile. "Is your mommy home?" Holding up the white bundle of clothes, I explained, "I have a delivery for her." The child's mouth dropped, and her eyes went wide. "Mom!" she shrieked, "come quick! It's the stork!"
Cajun math A Missouri farmer passed away and left 17 mules to his three sons. The instructions left in the will said that the oldest boy was to get one-half, the second oldest one-third, and the youngest one-ninth. The three sons, recognizing the difficulty of dividing 17 mules into these fractions, began to argue. Their uncle heard about the argument, hitched up his mule and drove out to settle the matter. He added his mule to the 17, making 18. The oldest therefore got one-half, or nine, the second oldest got one-third, or six, and the youngest son got one-ninth, or two. Adding up 9, 6 and 2 equals 17. The uncle, having settled the argument, hitched up his mule and drove home.

» Silent Monk Chorus

Today, December 18, in
1787 New Jersey became the third state to ratify the U.S. 
 Constitution.
1862 The first orthopedic hospital was organized in New 
 York City. It was called the Hospital for Ruptured and 
 Crippled.
1865 Slavery was abolished in the United States with the 
 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution being ratified.
1898 A new automobile speed record was set at 39 mph (63 km/h).
1903 The Panama Canal Zone was acquired 'in perpetuity' by 
 the U.S. for an annual rent.
1912 The discovery of the Piltdown Man in East Sussex was 
 announced. It was proved to be a hoax in 1953.
1916 During World War I, after 10 months of fighting the 
 French defeated the Germans in the Battle of Verdun.
1950 NATO foreign ministers approved plans to defend Western 
 Europe, including the use of nuclear weapons, if necessary.
1956 Japan was admitted to the United Nations.
1957 The Shippingport Atomic Power Station in Pennsylvania 
 went online. It was the first nuclear facility to generate 
 electricity in the United States. It was taken out of 
 service in 1982.
1965 Kenneth LeBel jumped 17 barrels on ice skates.
1969 Britain's Parliament abolished the death penalty for 
 murder.
1970 Divorce became legal in Italy.
1972 The United States began the heaviest bombing of 
 North Vietnam during the Vietnam War. The attack ended 
 12 days later.
1973 The IRA launched its Christmas bombing campaign in 
 London.
1979 The sound barrier was broken on land for the first time 
 by Stanley Barrett when he drove at 739.6 mph.
1983 Wayne Gretzky (Edmonton Oilers) scored his 100th point 
 in the 34th game of the season.
1996 Despite a U.N. truce, factional fighting in the Somali 
 capital of Mogadishu, broke out in which at least 300 fighters 
 and civilians were killed.
1998 The U.S. House of Representatives began the debate on the 
 four articles of impeachment concerning U.S. President Bill 
 Clinton. It was only the second time in U.S. history that 
 process had begun.
1998 Russia recalled its U.S. ambassador in protest of the 
 U.S. attacks on Iraq.
1998 South Carolina proceeded with the U.S.' 500th execution 
 since capital punishment was restored.
2001 A fire damaged New York City's St. John Cathedral. The 
 cathedral is the largest in the United States.
2009 General Motors announced that it would shut down its 
 Saab brand.
2009 A Paris court ruled that Google was breaking French law 
 with its policy of digitizing books and fined the company 
 a $14,300-a-day fine until it rids its search engine of the 
 literary extracts.
2009 James Cameron's movie "Avatar" was released in the United 
 States. On January 26, the movie became the highest-grossing 
 film worldwide. 
2013  smiled.


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When mail size is restrictred 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, December 17.


Home4Christmas.com is for sale. The sale of this domain name includes a quarter year hosting, and a basic site design. You have to gather the pictures yourself, though, and put some text together. The text can be in email or word processor or text file, or HTML, if you are already familiar with it. Once you have your own site, you can, of course edit and expand at any time. I will just make a headstart desgn for you, if you want that. If you want to make money with this during THIS Christmas, then you better hurry!
Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Mother Jailed for huffing whippets and passing out with child in car Details at International Bonehead Awards
From Nanarina: Fox hunting under the snow
More town names from James: Blue Ball, Idaho Long Dong, China Spread Eagle, Wisconsin. Mary's Inlet, Canada Humptulips, Washington
The 50 most insane driving laws. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The greatest of faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none. --- Thomas Carlyle (1795 - 1881)
Henry Kissinger once asked Chou En-Lai to theorize on what might have happened if Nikita Khrushchev had been assassinated instead of John F. Kennedy. After a moment's thought, Chou En-Lai answered: "I don't believe Mr. Onassis would have married Mrs. Khrushchev."
LOTS of Guilt-Free Chocolate Recipes They Are All Original, Rich, Raw Delicious & Unbelievably Healthy Yet So Easy To Make! Our original chocolate recipes have all the delicious flavor, smoothness and decadence of what you love about chocolate, but with an amazing twist.

A man asked for a divorce. The judge asked him why he wanted a divorce. He replied, that he lived in a Two Story House. The Judge replied, "What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two story house?" The man answers, "Well Judge, one story is: 'I have a headache' and the other story is 'It's that time of the month.'" "Granted."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jennifer Ann Lee, 29, Tampa, Floriduh Jailed for huffing whippets with child in car A Florida mom was nonchalant when cops questioned her about her alleged use of "whippets" in her car while her 1-year-old child was in the back seat. Jennifer Ann Lee, 29, passed out after huffing the contents of one of the small containers, which usually contain nitrous oxide, police told The Tampa Tribune. A passerby in Bradenton noticed Lee asleep at the wheel at an intersection, and offered to drive her to a safe location, WTSP reports. Lee agreed. The witness also called a friend of Lee's to check on her, and that friend ended up calling police. He reportedly told officers that Lee was "doing whippets" in front of him. When officers arrived, they reportedly found small canisters at the suspect's feet and in her seat. A subsequent search revealed 20 more of the canisters. The child was unharmed. Police say she admitted to doing whippets and falling asleep at the wheel. She allegedly told them, "I was tired and it happens." She was uncooperative when they arrested her. She was charged with felony child neglect, My Fox Tampa Bay reports. -------- Whippets can be the huff of Nitrous Oxide (Laughing gas) in Whipped Cream cans, but they can also be the gas cartridges for refillable whipped cream makers. Since she actually passed out, she most likely was using the cartridges. They can be "popped" with a thumbtack. Huffing laughing gas can be fun at a stag party, especially when alternated with huffs of helium to produce a Donald Duck voice, but should never be done without supervision, and especially not in a vehicle! Tech Support Pits From: Beverly Re: Mail Size Restrictions Hi Dear Webby, I have a problem. The server that my ISP uses has restricted the size of each email that we can receive and now I am having trouble receiving any email with pictures. I wondered if you can give me a referral to Gmail? The Service Tech from my ISP said he thought you could receive any size email through it, and I have read several times in the Humor Letter where you speak pretty highly of it. I went to Google and read about it and really would like to try it. I hope you can help me. Thanks! Beverly M Dear Beverly Just go to http://gmail.com It will guide you through the sign-up. You don't need referrals any more. Yes, with Gmail there are no kindergarten limits. Just take your time to customize it to your liking, and you'll be quite happy with it. Also go into Settings, Filters, and get comfortable with making filters. Gmail has very strong spam filtering, and you have to exclude important stuff. For example, if I write about how to get rid of some malware, it will likely consider that to be evil spam and dump it into the Spam folder. Just make a filter to tell it that mail from humor@webby.com should never be put into SPAM. Do the same with the addresses of utility companies, banks, etc. You can even use Gmail with regular POP programs like Eudora or Outlook, not just with it's web interface. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Persian Lamb This recipe is easy to make and has lots of flavor. I have made this dish for a number of parties and it is always a crowd pleaser. Ingredients: 2 to 3 lbs. boneless lamb, cubed 4 cloves chopped garlic 1 (6 oz.) can chickpeas 2 Tbsp. tomato paste 1 large bunch flat leaf parsley, cleaned and chopped juice of 2 large lemons 1/2 tsp. salt 1/4 tsp. pepper Directions: Brown Lamb and add to crock pot with all remaining ingredients. Cook 6 to 7 hours on low or 4 to 5 hours on high until meat is tender. I like to serve this dish over basmati rice. Note: This recipe can be prepared the night before. Just take the crock pot out of the fridge in the morning and turn the crock pot on! Servings: 6 to 8 Time: 20 Minutes Preparation Time 6 to 7 Hours Cooking Time By Pamela from South Hadley, MA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Peter decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Peter's station wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm house and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night. "I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house." "Not to worry," Peter said, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn." Nine months later, Peter got a letter from the widow's attorney. He then went up to visit his friend Bob and said, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?" "Yes, I do." "Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and have sex with her?" "Yes, I have to admit that I did." "Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name, and give her one of MY business cards?" Bob's face turned red and he said, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did." "Well, thanks! She just died and left me everything!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Despite warnings from his guide, an American skiing in Swit- zerland got separated from his group and fell into a deep crevasse. Several hours later, a rescue party found the hole, and to reassure the stranded skier shouted down to him, "We're from the Red Cross" "Sorry," the imperturbable American echoed back, "I already gave at the office!"
Elmer Fudd and his buddy Sam are out in the woods hunting wascally wabbits...when suddenly, Sam grabs his chest and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. Elmer whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "I tink Sam is dead! What should I do?" The operator, in a calm, soothing voice says, "Just take it easy and follow my instructions. First, let's make sure he's actually dead." A silence follows...and then a shot is heard. Elmer's voice comes back on the line: "Okay...now what?

» Northern Lights

Today, December 17, in
1777 France recognized American independence.
1791 A traffic regulation in New York City established the 
 first street to go "One Way."
1830 South American patriot Simon Bolivar died in Colombia.
1895 George L. Brownell received a patent for his 
 paper-twine machine.
1903 The first successful gasoline-powered airplane flight 
 took place near Kitty Hawk, NC. Orville and Wilbur Wright 
 made the flight.
1939 The German pocket battleship Graf Spee was scuttled by 
 its crew, bringing the World War II Battle of the 
 Rio de la Plata (3 British battle ships against the Graf Spee) 
 off Uruguay to an end.
1944 The U.S. Army announced the end of its policy of excluding 
 Japanese-Americans from the West Coast which ensured that 
 Japanese-Americans were released from detention camps.
1957 The United States successfully test-fired the Atlas 
 intercontinental ballistic missile for the first time.
1969 The U.S. Air Force closed its Project "Blue Book" by 
 concluding that there was no evidence of extraterrestrial 
 spaceships behind thousands of UFO sightings.
1973 Thirty-one people were killed at Rome airport when Arab 
 guerillas hijacked a German airliner.
1975 Lynette Fromme was sentenced to life in prison for her 
 attempt on the life of U.S. President Ford.
1978 OPEC decided to raise oil prices by 14.5% by the end of 1979.
1986 Davina Thompson became the world's first recipient of a heart, 
 lungs, and liver transplant.
1986 Eugene Hasefus was pardoned and then released by Nicaragua. 
 He had been convicted of running guns to the Contras.
1992 U.S. President George H.W. Bush, Canadian Prime 
 Minister Brian Mulroney and Mexican President Carlos 
 Salinas de Gortari signed the North American Free Trade 
 Agreement.
1992 Israel deported over 400 Palestinians to Lebanese 
 territory in an unprecedented mass expulsion of suspected 
 militants.
1996 Peruvian guerrillas took hundreds of people hostage 
 at the Japanese embassy in Lima. The siege ended on 
 April 22, 1997, with a commando raid that resulted in the 
 deaths of all the rebels, two commandos and one hostage.
1997 U.S. President Clinton signed the No Electronic Theft Act. 
 The act removed protection from individuals who claimed that 
 they took no direct financial gains from stealing copyrighted 
 works and downloading them from the Internet.
2002 U.S. President George W. Bush ordered the Pentagon to have 
 ready for use within two years a system for protecting American 
 territory, troops and allies from ballistic missile attacks.
2002 McDonald's Corp. warned that they would report its first 
 quarterly loss in its 47-year history.
2002 The insurance and finance company Conseco Inc. filed for 
 Chapter 11 protection. It was the third-largest bankruptcy 
 in U.S. history.
2002 Congo's government, opposition parties and rebels signed 
 a peace agreement that ended four years of civil war.
2004 U.S. President George W. Bush signed into law the largest 
 overhaul of U.S. intelligence gathering in 50 years. The bill 
 aimed to tighten borders and aviation security. It also created 
 a federal counterterrorism center and a new intelligence director.
2013  smiled.


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Cause for missed or not missed letters 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, December 16.

More towns for the list of wacky town names
sent in by James:

Hooker Hole, LA
Smackass Gap, NC
Muff, Ireland
Big Beaver, Pennsylvania
Erect, NC
Big Knockers, England
Nipple, Utah

Have FUN!
DearWebb




Home4Christmas.com is for sale. The sale of this domain name includes a quarter year hosting, and a basic site design. You have to gather the pictures yourself, though, and put some text together. The text can be in email or word processor or text file, or HTML, if you are already familiar with it. Once you have your own site, you can, of course edit and expand at any time. I will just make a headstart desgn for you, if you want that. If you want to make money with this during THIS Christmas, then you better hurry!
Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a preacher for allegedly raping two underage girls. Details at International Bonehead Awards
From Nanarina: Fox hunting under the snow Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary. --- Dave Kellett It is said that power corrupts, but actually it's more true that power attracts the corruptible. The sane are usually attracted by other things than power. --- David Brin. 1950 -
A Classic brought back by Donnie: Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees Is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table and, next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he Sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make You your favourite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 a.m., pissed out of your mind, you fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you stumbled into the door. All in all, one hell of a performance Dad." Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??" His son replies, "Oh THAT... Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed.... "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

>From Amanda Just a few weeks after taking a job as a security guard, my husband announced that he had been fired. He explained that he'd fallen asleep at this desk and someone broke into the building. "But you're such a light sleeper," I said. "I'm surprised the sound of the guy breaking in didn't wake you up." "I didn't get fired for falling asleep," he confessed, "I was fired for wearing my earplugs."
Click on the picture for the large version Egypt is no longer complaining, that YOUR CO2 is causing Gullible Warming.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jacoby Kindred, 61, Maplewood, Minnesota Wanted because of raping two under-age girls A "self-proclaimed" pastor in Minnesota has been charged with the rape of two girls. Jacoby Kindred, 61, is accused of sexually abusing the daughters of his son's girlfriend beginning when they were only six years old. According to a criminal complaint obtained by the Pioneer Press, Kindred, a pastor with One Accord Ministries, told one victim that "the devil was inside her and he could take the demons out of her." KARE 11 reports that the alleged abuse "involved fondling, oral stimulation, and rape," and took place mostly at Kindred's Maplewood, Minn., home, while the victims, now 14 and 16, stayed over. Kindred is said to have abused the girls for more than a decade. Police began their investigation in July after the girls' mother said she found out about a letter written by one of her daughters that described sexual acts with Kindred. Reached for comment by the Pioneer Press on Thursday, Kindred denied the allegations and said that the girls' mother had made them tell "lies" because she was angry with him. "Anyone can make up anything when you sit there long enough and you rehearse it," Kindred told the newspaper. "All a woman has to do [in Minnesota] is make an accusation, true or false, and the man's going to be in trouble." Kindred, who spoke with the Pioneer Press by phone, told the paper that he was out of town for a funeral, and would not disclose his location. Police have issued a warrant for his arrest. Tech Support Pits From: Amber Rose Re: Cause of missed letters Dear Webby I keep wondering what the problem is that some people have with getting your newsletter through AOL. I don't have any problem whatsoever, and I have AOL. Could the difference be that they do not have your e-mail address in their Address Book? AOL kept putting it into my Address Book whenever I received a newsletter. I kept deleting it because it was not one of my personal friends that I contact frequently. I was keeping my Address Book just for them. When I realized your newsletters were going into my Spam box, I finally realized. Now you are prominent in my Address Book along with my other friends, and I do believe you are a friend also. Your newsletter is the very best I have ever received. AmberRose Dear AmberRose You are 100% right. Nowadays AOL has become quite reliable, much better than for example Yahoo, and when the sender address is in the address book, the mail always gets through. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Oiled Wood Floors I have 105 year old heartpine floors. I use WOCA natural soap to clean them. They have also come out with a refresher that has more oil in it. If your floors aren't horrible, clean them well and try the refresher on a small section. We sanded and oiled our floors six years ago after removing about five layers of linoleum. I used WOCA oil. Haven't had to re-oil yet. Source: Wocadirect.com By Tina K Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
>From Lisa I've been feeling down for so long that I finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist. I went there, laid on the couch, spilled my guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make me feel better. The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes and sat thinking for a few minutes, nodding his head. Finally, he looked up at me and said in conclusion, "Ummmm, I think your problem is low self-esteem. That is very common among losers." So I broke his face, his glasses and his chair, took my file and left. I have to say, I felt much better after that session!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A crew of highway maintenance workers were sent to repair some road signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested area. The first one they put back up was a symbol warning of a deer crossing. As they moved down the road to repair the next sign, one member, of the crew looked back and spotted a deer running across the highway. She turned to a co-worker and said, "I wonder how long he's been waiting to cross?"
Once upon a time in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up. However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. "Honey," my Dad finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'" "It is," she said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten."

» Golden Gate bridge

Today, December 16, in
1653 Oliver Cromwell became lord protector of England, 
 Scotland and Ireland.
1773 Nearly 350 chests of tea were dumped into Boston Harbor 
 off of British ships by Colonial patriots. The patriots 
 were disguised as Indians. The act was to protest taxation 
 without representation and the monopoly the government 
 granted to the East India Company.
1809 Napoleon Bonaparte was divorced from the Empress 
 Josephine by an act of the French Senate.
1835 In New York, 530 buildings were destroyed by fire.
1838 The Zulu chief Dingaan was defeated by a small force 
 of Boers at Blood River celebrated in South Africa as 
 'Dingaan's Day'.
1850 The first immigrant ship, the Charlotte Jane, arrived 
 at Lyttleton, New Zealand.
1916 Gregory Rasputin, the monk who had wielded powerful 
 influence over the Russian court, was murdered by a 
 group of noblemen.
1940 French Premier Petain arrested Pierre Laval after 
 learning of a plan for Laval to seize power and set up 
 a new government with German support.
1944 During World War II, the Battle of the Bulge began 
 in Belgium. It was the final major German counteroffensive 
 in the war.
1950 U.S. President Truman proclaimed a national state of 
 emergency in order to fight "Communist imperialism."
1960 A United Air Lines DC-8 and a TWA Super Constellation 
 collided over New York City, killing 134 people.
1972 The Miami Dolphins became the first NFL team to go 
 unbeaten and untied in a 14-game regular season.
1973 O.J. Simpson broke Jim Brown’s single-season rushing 
 record in the NFL. Brown had rushed for 1,863 yards, 
 while Simpson attained 2,003 yards.
1990 Jean-Bertrand Aristide, a leftist priest, was elected 
 president in Haiti's first democratic elections.
1995 Many U.S. government functions were again closed as a 
 temporary finance provision expired and the budget dispute 
 between President Clinton and Republicans in Congress continued.
1996 Britain's agriculture minister announced the slaughter 
 of an additional 100,000 cows thought to be at risk of 
 contracting BSE in an effort to persuade the EU to lift 
 its ban on Britain.
1998 The U.S. and Britain fired hundreds of missiles onto 
 Iraq in response to Saddam Hussein's refusal to comply 
 with U.N. weapons inspectors.
1999 Torrential rains and mudslides in Venezuela left 
 thousands of people dead and forced at least 120,000 
 to leave their homes.
2000 Researchers announced that information from NASA's 
 Galileo spacecraft indicated that Ganymede appeared to 
 have a liquid saltwater ocean beneath a surface of solid 
 ice. Ganymede, a moon of Jupiter, is the solar system's 
 largest moon. The discovery is considered important 
 since water is a key ingredient for life.
2000 U.S. President-elect George W. Bush selected Colin 
 Powell to be the first African-American secretary of state. 
 Powell was sworn in January 20, 2001.
2001 In Tora Bora, Afghanistan, tribal fighters announced 
 that they had taken the last al-Quaida positions. More 
 than 200 fighters were killed and 25 captured. They also 
 announced that they had found no sign of Osama bin Laden.
2001 Cuba received the first commercial food shipment from 
 the United States in nearly 40 years. The shipment was sent 
 to help Cuba after Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba on Nov 4, 2001.
2009 Astronomers discovered GJ1214b. It was the first-known 
 exoplanet on which water could exist.
2013  smiled.


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How to make a Hot-key to instantly start a screen saver? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, December 15.

Thank you, Jen & John from New Hampshire!

------------
Have you ever seen an eagle's nest with eggs in it?

There are a few in the Cape Coral, Fort Myers area right in 
town. I saw this nest when I helped Sandie prepare for 
Hurricane Wilma in October 2005. There was no camera on 
this particular nest in those days. They had a camera 
on a different nest.

The eagles flew away a day before the hurricane arrived,
probably to shelter in the thick mangrove forest at the 
coast, and came back a day after the hurricane had 
passed, and calmly restored their messy nest. Eagle's
nests don't look pretty or finished at the best of times.

http://www.ustream.tv/SouthwestFloridaEagleCam
Eagle nest cam in Ft Myers with info, for example
Currently On The Nest:
Harriet	
Harriet arrives at 6:06pm and Ozzie leaves

The nest is visible at night too, though just lit with an 
IR light. At night it looks like a Black & White camera,
but during the day it is in color. And you see the traffic
below the nest. It does not bother the eagles at all.

You see the eggs when the eagles change shifts, or when 
they turn around. When they get too warm, then they turn
with their tail against the wind, so that it ruffles the
feathers. When they get cold, they turn their head into 
the wind, so that it slicks their feathers down. When they
turn around or change shifts, you see the two eggs.

More details at
http://snipurl.com/eglenestcam

Have FUN!
DearWebb




Home4Christmas.com is for sale. The sale of this domain name includes a quarter year hosting, and a basic site design. You have to gather the pictures yourself, though, and put some text together. The text can be in email or word processor or text file, or HTML, if you are already familiar with it. Once you have your own site, you can, of course edit and expand at any time. I will just make a headstart desgn for you, if you want that. If you want to make money with this during THIS Christmas, then you better hurry!
Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Florida Teacher gets 38 years for fixing a 12 year old boy's virginity Details at International Bonehead Awards
Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

We all have strength enough to endure the misfortunes of others. --- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. --- David M. Ogilvy
>From Donnie A golfer is cupping his hand to scoop water from a burn on the St Andrews course. A grounds keeper shouts: 'Dinnae drink tha waater! Et's foo ae coo's shite an pish!' The golfer replies: 'My Good fellow, I'm from England . Could you repeat that for me, in English!?' The keeper replies: 'I said, use two hands - you'll spill less that way!

>From Clyde I just got off the phone with friend in northern Minnesota. He said that since early this morning the snow has been falling heavily and it is nearly waist high. The temperature is dropping below zero and the north wind is increasing, and his wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in! -------- Those northern Minnesotans are suicidal!
Click on the picture for the large version London, England
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Scott Lamonico, Alaska Jail for downloading 17 magazine pictures Downloading Seventeen magazine photos of Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and Dakota Fanning could result in jail time for a probationer who spent time in federal prison for possessing child pornography. During a recent search of Scott Lamonico’s computer, probation officer Jennifer Hitchins discovered the photos of the three celebrities, along with other images of young women in “minimal clothing.” Federal investigators contend that the photos violated a probation term barring the 44-year-old Lamonico from possessing “child erotica.” In April 2006, Lamonico was sentenced to 63 months in prison (to be followed by three years probation) following his conviction in U.S. District Court in San Francisco on a felony possession of child pornography count. Now living in Alaska, Lamonico, pictured above, was freed from custody last November. He was arrested last Thursday on a warrant accusing him of violating the conditions of his supervised release. If found guilty of violating his probation, Lamonico could face two additional years in custody, though sentencing guidelines call for a prison term between three and nine months. ---------- Pictures of Miley Cyrus and her 'twerking' have been all over the news for some time. I always wondered what people found so special about the scrawny, underfed screecher. I had not realized, that she was underage. Personally, I would be more interested in pictures of her mother or grandmother in similar attire! Tech Support Pits From: Barb Re: Hot-key for ScreenSaver Dear Webby I want it! The hot-key for starting a screen saver, that you hinted at. Barb Dear Barb Gladly! Oh, too old? OK. Hot key is easy. Look for the location of your screen savers. Just search for *.scr files. Your favorite one should be there too. If Windows is acting snotty and not showing the SCR files, start the making of a desktop shortcut, browse to c:\Windows and select AJScreensaver.scr Right-click it and select Shortcut. Drag the shortcut onto the desktop. No, no, that's not all. Be patient! Now right-click that shortcut. In there you can set a hot-key. Pick a combo, that is easy to use without getting your fingers tangled up, and that is not in use yet. Surprisingly, ALT X is usually still free. After selecting a Hot-Key, OK out of there. Now, when you hit CTRL and ALT X, or whatever you picked, your screen saver will pop and hide what you have been doing. Keep in mind, due to an embarrassing brain fart in Windows, you need THREE keys for a hot-key. Yeah, I know, that is rather stooopid, and Bill Gates has publicly apologized for that, but so far there is no way around it. Until somebody writes a third party fix for that, you just have to use three keys to make hot-keys for shortcuts. Just type X into that slot, and Windows will add the CTRL + ALT part. Hit APPLY and OK, and your hotkey is done. Hit CTRL ALT X, and your clocks are up. If you use dual monitors, you can select a different screensaver for the second monitor. I use the Roman clock on the left monitor and the numeric ribbon clock on the right monitor. If you set it so that returning from the screen saver requires a password, then your kids can't snoop while you are off flirting at the postman. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Dresser Drawers as a Bookshelf I have purchased quite a few books over the years. I spent so much money on the books themselves that I didn't have enough leftover to buy shelving, and that's where I got the idea for this helpful little tip. I had stacks of books all over the house, and I finally decided that something had to be done, so I went on a hunt. I found a damaged dresser that had been left in the basement by the previous owner of the house, so I pulled it out and started brainstorming a way to turn it into a bookshelf. I came up with the idea of taking all the hardware off the drawers and stacking the drawers on top of each other. The bottoms of the drawers now became the back of my new modular shelving unit. Each shelf measures 36 inches wide, 15 inches high, and 8 inches deep. With a little bit of staining, the new shelves make a beautiful addition to the living room, turning my unsightly stacks of books into a source of numerous complements. By Jessica from Marion, NC Narrow concrete blocks for uprights and 1x8's or 1x4's work very well too. 1x8's SEEM more expensive, but twice as many 1x4's work out to exactly the same. Boards are usually sold by the board-foot, which is the volume of a square foot, 1 inch thick. You can easily stain them mahogany or walnut and make them look quite fancy, To hide the concrete blocks print a book spine of some fantasy book, for example your thesis, glue it onto some cardboard, curve it anround the front end of the block and glue it onto the concrete block with hotmelt glue. If you don't have a saw to cut the boards, come on over. You can also ask the good people at Home Depot to cut them for you. They will give you a big speech about no refunds on cut stuff, and that you better be VERY sure about the length of the boards. Once you are sure about the length, "Yeah, it is twice the length of my bra plus two fingers." they will gladly cut the wood for you. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Six year old Angie and her four year old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church," she hissed at Joel. "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel shot back. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two big mean men standing by the door?" Joel nodded. "They're hushers."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

After the college boy delivered the pizza to Rob's's trailer house, Rob asked: "What is the usual tip?" "Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great." "Is that so?" snorted Rob. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars." "Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund." "What are you studying?" asked Rob. The lad smiled and said: "Reverse psychology."
One day, Uncle Joe got fired from his construction job. His nephew asked him what happened. "You know what a foreman is?" he asked. "The one who stands around and watches the other men work?" "What's that got to do with it?" he asked. "Well, he just got jealous of me," Uncle Joe explained. "Everyone thought I was the foreman."

» Golden Gate bridge

Today, December 15, in
1654 A meteorological office established in Tuscany began 
 recording daily temperature readings.
1791 In the U.S., the first ten amendments to the Constitution, 
 known as the Bill of Rights, went into effect.
1840 Napoleon Bonaparte's remains were interred in Les 
 Invalides in Paris, having been brought from St. Helena
1854 In Philadelphia, the first street cleaning machine 
1877 Thomas Edison patented the phonograph.
1890 American Sioux Indian Chief Sitting Bull and 11 other 
 tribe members were killed in Grand River, SD, during an 
 incident with Indian police working for the U.S. government.
1939 "Gone With the Wind," produced by David O. Selznick 
 based on the novel by Margaret Mitchell, premiered at 
 Loew's Grand Theater in Atlanta. The movie starred Vivien 
 Leigh and Clark Gable.
1944 A single-engine plane carrying U.S. Army Major Glenn 
 Miller disappeared in thick fog over the English Channel 
 while en route to Paris.
1944 American forces invaded Mindoro Island in the Philippines.
1961 Former Nazi official Adolf Eichmann was sentenced to death 
 in Jerusalem by an Israeli court. He had been tried on charges 
 for organizing the deportation of Jews to concentration camps.
1961 The U.N. General Assembly voted against a Soviet proposal 
 to admit Communist China as a member.
1964 Canada's House of Commons approved a newly designed flag 
 thereby dropping the Canadian "Red Ensign" flag.
1965 Two U.S. manned spacecraft, Gemini 6 and Gemini 7, maneuvered 
 within 10 feet of each other while in orbit around the Earth.
1966 Walter Elias "Walt" Disney died in Los Angeles 
 at the age of 65.
1970 The Soviet probe Venera 7 became the first spacecraft 
 to land softly on the surface of Venus. The probe only 
 survived the extreme heat and pressure for about 23 minutes 
 and transmitted the first data received on Earth from the 
 surface of another planet.
1973 J. Paul Getty III was found in southern Italy after 
 being held captive for five months, during which his right 
 ear was cut off and sent to a newspaper in Rome.
1978 U.S. President Carter announced he would grant diplomatic 
 recognition to Communist China on New Year's Day and sever 
 official relations with Taiwan.
1979 The former shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, left the 
 United States for Panama. He had gone to the U.S. for medical 
 treatment on October 22, 1979.
1982 Gibraltar's frontier with Spain was opened to pedestrian 
 use after 13 years.
1983 The last 80 U.S. combat soldiers in Grenada withdrew. 
 It was just over seven weeks after the U.S.-led invasion 
 of the Caribbean island.
1989 An uprising in Romania began as demonstrators gathered 
 to prevent the arrest of the Reverend Laszlo Tokes, a 
 dissident clergyman.
1992 IBM announced it would eliminate 25-thousand employees 
 in the coming year.
1992 El Salvador's government and leftist guerrilla leaders 
 formally declared the end of the country's 12-year civil war.
1995 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to take over 
 the peacekeeping operations in Bosnia.
1996 Boeing Co. announced plans to pay $13.3 billion to 
 acquire rival aircraft manufacturer McDonnell Douglas Corp.
1999 Syria reopened peace talks with Israel in Washington, DC, 
 with the mediation of U.S. President Clinton.
2000 The Chernobyl atomic power plant in Kiev, Ukraine, 
 was shut down.
2000 New York Senator-elect Hillary Rodham Clinton agreed 
 to accept an $8 million book deal with Simon & Schuster. 
 The book was to be about her eight years in the White House. 
 The advance was the highest ever to be paid to a member 
 of the U.S. Congress.
2001 It was announced that Siena Heights University would 
 begin offering a class called "Animated Philosophy and 
 Religion." The two-credit class would cover how religion 
 and philosophy are part of popular culture and is based 
 on the television series "The Simpsons."
2013  smiled.


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Larger clock 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, December 11.

Today, Wednesday, I have to go into Calgary for
injections into my eyeballs. That means no newsletters on
Thursday, Friday and  Saturday. On Saturday I hope to be
able to write and send out the Sunday issue.




Home4Christmas.com is for sale. The sale of this domain name includes a quarter year hosting, and a basic site design. You have to gather the pictures yourself, though, and put some text together. The text can be in email or word processor or text file, or HTML, if you are already familiar with it. Once you have your own site, you can, of course edit and expand at any time. I will just make a headstart desgn for you, if you want that.
Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Florida Teacher gets 38 years for fixing a 12 year old boy's virginity Details at International Bonehead Awards
Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. --- Sidney J. Harris
At one of the last all girl schools in Dallas years ago, the instructor in a "Charm Course" was urging her students to give their escorts every chance to be gallant. "Remain seated in the truck until he has had time to step around and open the door for you." she said. Then, returning to reality, she added, "But... if the big, dumb galoot is in the restaurant flirting at the waitress -- don't wait any longer."

A business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favorite bakery. One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic coffeecake. We all scolded him, but his smile remained cherubic. "This is a very special coffeecake," he explained. "I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, `Lord, if you want me to have one of those delicious coffeecakes, let me have a parking place directly in front of the bakery.' "And sure enough," he continued, "the eighth time around the block, there it was!"
Thanks to dad for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ethel Anderson, Hillsborough County, Floriduh Florida Teacher gets 38 years for fixing a 12 year old boy's virginity Reported by Tom W. A Hillsborough County judge told Ethel Anderson she 'groomed' a student 'for her own deviant' purposes before sentencing her to 38 years behind bars. Anderson, an award winning teacher, was found guilty of nine counts of sex crime charges. "Despite what the court might see, I am not a sexual predator," Anderson told the judge Monday. Prosecutors say Anderson lured a 12-year-old boy into a sexual affair using text messages. They presented more than 230 pages of text messages between Anderson and the victim. In a move that seemingly backfired, Anderson took the stand in her own defense and told jurors the texts were all "fantasy" and used them as a teaching tool to keep the boy's attention. "You groomed this child," said Hillsborough Circuit Judge Chet Tharpe. Tharpe also said Anderson manipulated the boy's parents into believing he was safe while with her. Anderson, mom to a six-year-old, was led away in cuffs to begin her 38 year sentence. Last December, she resigned from Mango Elementary School. The boy has since transferred schools. "Anger and hatred don't even begin to explain how I feel about what you took from my son," said the boy's mother in a written statement read by prosecutors. "His innocence is lost forever." --------------- Awwww! When my mom (correctly) guessed, that my innocence was lost forever, she slipped a 6-pack of condoms into my lunch bag. Not a word was said about it. No drama, but then, in those days, there was no texting or anything, that could be used against anybody. Sure, there was poetry, in rhyme and rythm, as pay per lay, but without any name and most carefully without mentioning anything, that could point to any certain, ahem, individual. In those days, we had class! I realized much later, that a juvenile with the urge can crank out a lot more poetry, than he can during the rest of his life. I sure did not miss my forever lost innocence, but became a very prolific juvenile poet! :D Tech Support Pits From: Inga Re: Large clock Dear Webby I realized that Microslop can't handle desktop gadgets like the clock any more, and the add-on gadgets on the net come with really sleazy viruses like Nav-Link. Thanks to your warning I stopped the installation before it did anything. So, what is a girl to do when she wants a big clock suitable for senior eyes? Thanks Inga Dear Inga Try Roman Clock Classic Roman Clock Click for bigger sample
If you go to http://www.beeks.eu you can download and install a pack of screen savers, including that Roman clock, the "Polish Digital Clock" by Yugo Nakamura, and even a classic Mickey Mouse clock. Fourteen different clocks. They are all clean screen savers, If anybody is interested, I'll write about how to make a Boss key to instantly launch a screen saver and hide from the boss that you are playing "Revenge of the bimbos" on company time. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cheese Grater Tip Before you begin grating cheese, brush a little vegetable oil on the grater. It will clean easier when you are finished. By Sandy from Graettinger IA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Inscribed in stone over the great front doors of an old church being restored was: "This is the Gate of Heaven." Just below it someone had placed a small cardboard sign which read: "CLOSED Use Other Entrance"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A famous author was autographing copies of his new novel in a Cleveland department store. One gentleman pleased him by bringing up not only his new book for signature, but reprint editions of his two previous ones as well. "My wife likes your stuff," he remarked apologetically, "I thought I'd give her these signed copies for a birthday present." "A surprise, eh?" hazarded the author. "I'll say," agreed the customer. "She's expecting a Jeep."
An "air freshener" salesman goes to an executive building to market his product to a prospective buyer. He steps in to an empty elevator and presses the 10th floor button. Just as the doors close, he lets out a God-awful fart. He then can feel the elevator stopping on the fifth floor and he knows that someone will be stepping on so he quickly sprays his new "Pine-Scented" air freshener to cover his tracks. The person that was on the 5th floor steps onto the elevator. The salesman decides that this is a good opportunity to test his product's quality so he asks the man, "Excuse me sir, could you kindly tell me what you smell?" The man replies, "Yeah, smells like a turkey with diahrea hiding in a Christmas Tree".

» Peppermint

Today, December 11, in
1719 The first recorded sighting of the Aurora Borealis was 
 in New England.
1769 Edward Beran of London patented venetian blinds.
1792 France's King Louis XVI went before the Convention, 
 which had replaced the National Assembly, to face charges 
 of treason. He was convicted and condemned and was sent 
 to the guillotine the following January.
1844 Dr. Horace Wells became the first person to have a 
 tooth extracted after receiving an anesthetic for the 
 dental procedure. Nitrous Oxide, or laughing gas, was used.
1882 Boston's Bijou Theater had its first performance. First 
 American playhouse lit exclusively by electricity.
1894 The world's first motor show opened in Paris with nine 
 exhibitors.
1930 The Bank of the United States in New York failed.
1936 Britain's King Edward VIII abdicated in order to marry 
 American Wallis Warfield Simpson. He became the Duke of 
 Windsor.
1937 The Fascist Council in Rome, withdrew Italy from the 
 League of Nations.
1941 Germany and Italy declared war on the United States. 
 The U.S in turn declared war on the two countries.
1961 The first direct American military support for South 
 Vietnam occurred when a U.S. aircraft carrier carrying 
 Army helicopters arrived in Saigon.
1973 West German Chancellor Willy Brandt and Czech Prime 
 Minister Lubomir Strougal formally nullified the 1938 
 Munich pact when they had signed a treaty sanctioning 
 Hitler's seizure of Czechoslovakia's German speaking 
 Sudetenland.
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter signed into law legislation 
 creating $1.6 billion environmental "superfund" that would 
 be used to pay for cleaning up chemical spills and toxic 
 waste dumps.
1981 Muhammad Ali fought his last fight. He lost his 61st 
 fight to Trevor Berbick.
1985 General Electric Company agreed to buy RCA Corporation 
 for $6.3 billion. Also included in the deal was NBC Radio 
 and Television.
1987 Charlie Chaplin's trademark cane and bowler hat were 
 sold at Christie's for Ł82,500.
1988 62 people were killed in a Mexico City marketplace when 
 tons of illegal fireworks exploded.
1990 Ivana Trump was divorced from Donald Trump after 12 
 years of marriage.
1991 Salman Rushdie, under an Islamic death sentence for 
 blasphemy, made his first public appearance since 1989 in 
 New York, at a dinner marking the 200th anniversary of 
 the First Amendment (which guarantees freedom of speech 
 in the U.S.).
1994 Thousands of Russian troops, armored columns and jets 
 entered Chechnya. The move by Moscow was an effort to 
 restore control the breakaway republic.
1994 The world's largest free trade zone was created when 
 leaders of 34 Western Hemisphere nations signed a free-trade 
 declaration known as "The Miami Process."
1997 Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams became the first political 
 ally of the IRA to meet a British leader in 76 years. He 
 conferred with Prime Minister Tony Blair in London.
1997 More than 150 countries agreed at a global warming 
 conference in Kyoto, Japan, to control the Earth's 
 "greenhouse gases." Canada thought it was BS and abstained.
1998 The Mars Climate Orbiter blasted off on a nine-month 
 journey to the Red Planet. However, the probe disappeared 
 in September of 1999, apparently destroyed because scientists 
 had failed to convert English measures to metric values.
2000 Mario Lemeiux, owner of Pittsburgh Penquins, announced 
 that he would end his three-plus year retirement and become 
 an active National Hockey League (NHL) player again. When 
 Lemieux returned officially he became the first owner/player 
 in NHL history.
2001 It was announced that U.S. President George W. Bush would 
 withdraw the U.S. from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty 
 with Russia.
2001 Federal agents seized computers in 27 U.S. cities as part 
 of "Operation Buccaneer." The raids were used to gain evidence 
 against an international software piracy ring.
2013  smiled.


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