Font colors 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, October 13

A couple of days ago I noticed that my new neighbors in the 
East had a huge pile of oversize garbage bags filled with 
leaves, and their lawns were already getting covered with 
leaves again and looking just like mine.

I looked at the sky and noticed the beginnings of an arch.
That is a sign of an impending Chinook. (Stormy wind from
the West, 40 gusting to 65, sometimes higher).

On today's walk I noticed that my lawn was clean. No leaves.
My neighbor's lawn had the truckload of bagged leaves gone,
and their lawns were covered with leaves again.

It helps to have obstructions, like my row of Saskatoon 
berries, in line with the wind.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a SC man, who was arrested after he called 911 To Complain That His Girlfriend Will Not Have Sex With Him Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 11, in 1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in Washington, DC. It was burned by angry Canucks in 1812. After that the remains had to be scraped and whitewashed. The building became known as the White House in 1818. After that the Americans walked up to Canada and burned down York (Toronto). More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people. --- Lucille S. Harper There is no nonsense so arrant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ At Finnegan's wake, Katy Ryan remarked about the corpse: 'Doesn't he look happy?' 'Yes,' said the widow Finnegan. 'He died in his sleep and he doesn't know he's dead yet! In fact,' she went on, 'if he wakes up in the morning the shock will kill him!' ______________________________________________________ The following ad appeared in a newspaper. Single Black Female Seeks Male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. Good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods. Riding in your pickup truck.Hunting, Camping, Fishing trips. Cozy winter nights spent lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call 555-XXXX and ask for Daisy. (The phone number was the Dog Pound and Daisy was an eight week old Black Labrador Retriever.) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for sending this picture: Back Of Crescent ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Patrick Doggett, 53, Spartanburg, South Carolina
SC man arrested after he called 911 To Complain That His Girlfriend Will Not Have Sex With Him A South Carolina man called 911 early this morning to complain that his girlfriend would not have sex with him, according to an arrest report. When a cop responded to his Spartanburg residence, Patrick Doggett, 53, “stated he called 911 because his girlfriend, Ms. Faye Woodruff, would not give him any ass.” Woodruff told police that Doggett had been drinking all day and “didn’t know where he was at.” She added that Doggett got into bed and wanted to have sex, but “she had her grandchild with her.” So, Woodruff noted, Doggett "got up and then dialed 911." Doggett, who was outside the residence drinking an alcoholic beverage when police arrived, was arrested for public intoxication and booked into the county jail (where he remains locked up this afternoon). Pictured above, Doggett has not been cited for misusing the 911 system, according to jail records.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Many Re: Font Color From all the replies I gather that the problem is monitor brightness. I send the font color "Navy". So does Ophelia. Most people find that more readable and more relaxing than black. Now, get this: Some people like the fonts "Black, as they are now." Some people like the fonts "Blue, as they are now." And the majority likes the fonts "Navy, as they are now." That indicates to me that 1) Some people have their monitor set too dark, and they see the Navy colored fonts as black. 2) Some people have their monitor set too bright, and they see the Navy color as Blue. 3) That the majority have set the brightness optimally for their eyes, and they see all the colors as intended. I shudder to think how beautiful flowers or sunsets get trashed, if the colors are shifted. Turn the monitor brightness a tad, up or down, until my fonts look "Navy". Easier on the eyes, and colors are more natural. Just use the font color to calibrate the overall brightness. You can do that with the buttons at the bottom of the monitor, and with some monitors even from Windows. Neil sent this link: Calibrate" target="_blank" >http://windows.microsoft.com/is-IS/wind ... ;Calibrate colors from Windows Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A man walks into an animal hospital with a gigantic parrot and asks to have the bird's beak and talons and wings trimmed. The owner warns the veterinarian's assistant that the bird dislikes these procedures and is apt to bite. The assistant puts on thick gloves and cautiously opens the cage. The parrot steps out, then looks at the wary assistant. "Don't worry," the parrot squawks. "I won't hurt you." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Egg Cloud Recipes I love this recipe because it only has two ingredients and turns into something deliciously elegant. With the high prices on eggs these days, this is nice way to stretch your money. Approximate Time: 10 Yield: 3 clouds Ingredients: 3 eggs 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese Steps: Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Line a baking pan with parchment paper. Separate your egg yolks from the whites. Whip the egg whites at high speed for a few minutes until stiff peaks form. Fold in the Parmesan cheese. Divide the fluffy whites into 3 cloud shapes on the baking sheet. Using a spoon, hollow out a well on each cloud where you will be dropping your egg yolk. [Later] Bake egg white cloud for a few minutes. Remove from oven, and drop an egg yolk into each cloud. Bake another 3 minutes. Enjoy your beautiful creation! By attosa [125] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ How to build a camp fire 1. Split dead tree limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers. 2. Bandage left thumb. 3. Chop other fragments into smaller fragments 4. Bandage left foot. 5. Make pyramid of slivers (include those embedded in hand) 6. Light Match 7. Find a dry match and light it 8. Borrow a lighter and use it to light match. 9. Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire. 10. Apply burn ointment to nose. 11. When fire is burning, collect more wood. 12. Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled "kerosene." 13. Treat face and arms for second-degree burns. 14. Relabel can to read "gasoline." 15. When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood. 16. Apologize for burning down all the tents and the outhouse 17. When thunder storm has passed, gather more firewood and try again, applying lessons learned in steps 1-15. ___________________________________________________

school lunch
____________________________________________________ It may still be summer where you are, but in South Carolina it's the season of the big fall mosquitos. The other evening, a man walked out into his yard and two mosquitos picked him up. As they lifted him, one says to the other, "Let's take him down by the lake and have a picnic." The other one said, "No way ! If we carry him down there, the big mosquitos will take him away from us." ____________________________________________________
What people in 1900 thought the year 2000 would look like.

Today, October 13, in
1775 The U.S. Continental Congress ordered the construction 
 of a naval fleet. 
1792 The cornerstone of the Executive Mansion was laid in 
 Washington, DC. It was burned by angry Canucks in 1812. After that
 the remains had to be scraped and whitewashed. The building became 
 known as the White House in 1818. 
1812 American forces were defeated at the Battle of Queenstown 
 Heights. The British victory effectively ended an further U.S. 
 invasion of Canada. 
1843 B'nai B'rith, the Jewish organization, was founded by Henry 
 Jones and eleven others in New York City, NY. 
1854 The state of Texas ratified a state constitution. 
1943 During World War II, Italy changed sides, signed an 
 armistice with the Allies and declared war on their ally, Germany. 
1944 American troops entered Aachen, Germany, during World War II. 
1944 During World War II, British and Greek advance units landed 
 at Piraeus. 
1951 In Atlanta, GA, a football with a rubber covering was used for 
 the first time. Georgia Tech beat Louisiana State 25-7. 
1953 An ultrasonic burglar alarm was patented by Samuel Bagno. 
1957 Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra introduced the Ford Edsel on 
 an hour long special. 
1962 "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" opened on Broadway. 
1981 Egyptian voters elected Vice President Hosni Mubarak as the 
 new president one week after Anwar Sadat was assassinated. 
1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called for an overthrow of 
 the Panamanian ruler Manuel Antonio Noriega. 
1992 A commercial flight record was set by an Air France 
 supersonic jetliner for circling the Earth in 33 hours and 
 one minute. No passengers, just lots of fuel.
2010 Near Copiapó, Chile, 33 miners were trapped underground in 
 San José Mine. The miners were rescued after 69 days underground. 
2015  smiled.


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Multiple browsers at the same time 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, October 11



Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Colorado burglar arrested in jail after poopy shorts are analyzed a year later Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 11, in 1811 The Juliana, the first steam-powered ferryboat, was put into operation by the inventor John Stevens. The ferry went between New York City, NY, and Hoboken, NJ. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life. --- Immanuel Kant (1724 - 1804) Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything. --- Charles Kuralt ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Clyde An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. "Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife." ______________________________________________________ A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. "Doctor," says the man excitedly and dramatically holds up his heavily bandaged hands. "The nurse told me that I will be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?" "I don't see why not," replies the doctor. "Hmmm, then I better start learning to read sheet music!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rodney Mark Hendrix, 49, Denver, Colorado
Colorado burglar arrested in jail after poopy shorts are analyzed a year later It was the doo doo that did him in. Rodney Mark Hendrix, 49, is accused of burglarizing a Denver pre-school and church in August 2014 and was caught due to a DNA test of a pair of poopy shorts left in a bathroom at the crime scene. A pre-school employee noticed the crap-stained clothes and put them in a plastic bag before the police arrived, according to the arrest affidavit. The responding officer took the contaminated shorts into evidence, but it took 13.5 months for them to worm their way through the forensic labs, according to Lynn Kimbrough, a spokesperson for the Denver District Attorney. "In Colorado, a DNA sample is taken of anyone who is arrested for a felony," Kimbrough told HuffPost. "So when they ran the unknown sample, his DNA was already in the system." Kimbrough didn't want to venture a guess as to what the poopy shorts smelled like after more than a year. Hendrix is accused of stealing two guitars from the church and numerous electronic items from the school, with a combined total value of $4,072. He was charged earlier this week of two counts of burglary, two counts of theft, and one count of identity theft, according to the arrest affidavit. The suspect was already in custody in the Colorado Department of Corrections on unrelated theft and drug cases when the s*** hit the fan, according to the Denver Post. Hendrix is is scheduled to appear in Denver County Court on Oct. 16 to be formally advised of the charges, according to CBS Denver.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Karl Re: Multiple browsers Hi Webby, Another great thing about running two different browsers side by side is you can have two accounts with the same company open at the same time. For example, I sometimes have my work gmail account open while having my personal gmail account open. If I only used one browser, I'd have to sign out of one or the other. Right now I have 3 browsers open. Firefox, SeaMonkey, and Lynx. I've had as many as four. People still use Lynx? I'm limited to five gigs a month. I read a lot of news articles on Lynx because it doesn't download all the crap on web pages. The average Lynx page download seems to be about 37K. Versus the 2-3 megs per page using a regular browser with javaScript enabled. Is it HTML 5 that brought us the bottomless webpage? God, I hate that. All those self loading videos and ads. It burns a lot of bandwidth plus it slows the system down. If you have anybody in the Denver area that's interested in making the switch to Linux, you can put them in touch with me. Karl Dear Karl Good point! Sometimes, when I am in the middle of a form on a borwser and don't want to leave that page, I open a different tab, but when I already have a lot of tabs open, then it is definitely better to open a different browser. I agree, for just reading text nothing gets even close to good ol Lynx on Linux. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ >From Ed I boarded the train and took my seat. The seat next to me was empty, but not for long. A young mother boarded with her 5-year-old daughter and Mom sat down in the seat beside me. I offered my seat to the little girl but Mom said no, she'd sit the young one on her lap. So here I am holding my roses, now with a little lady straining to see what I was holding. "What ya got, mister?" she asked. (Mom is getting a bit flustered and tells her to mind her business.) I leaned the "package" over a bit and she looks and says loudly, "Ohhhh, ROSES!, who are they for?" (Now, Mom is embarrassed and tapping her on the rear telling her to sit down.) I said, "they're for my girlfriend". The little 5 year old said, again with a loud voice, "WOW, pretty RED ones, and a LOT of them, too! Man, you really must have f****d up!" Her mother turned as red as the roses, but all the other passengers bust a gut laughing. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Cat Litter Box After seeing a nifty cat box with a high price tag, I decided to make my own. It is a tote with a hole cut in the top of the lid. I had empty totes already so that didn't cost me anything. The litter does not get kicked out at all. Occasionally some is tracked, but it is way better than it being kicked out. My cats love it too. Additionally, I did buy a cat pan set that has two pans and a sifter for like $18 at one of the big box stores. The solid pan fits perfectly in my tote. I still have to disinfect the big tote, but not as often as I do the inside pans. Overall, it is less cumbersome. By mreynolds [1]] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ An Irishman's wife calls the doctor, stating that her husband has taken ill. The doctor asks if she had taken his temperature; she replied that she hadn't but would and then call back. When she hadn't called within a half hour, the doctor called and asked her what had happened. She said, "Well, I didn't have a thermometer, so I put a barometer on his chest and it said dry, so I gave him a pint of beer and he went off to work!" ___________________________________________________

360 frying pan dance
____________________________________________________ The Burgess Hill Town Council in the UK, in response to a worker's complaint that sunlight coming through the window caused a glare on her computer screen, has already had three meetings, six months of discussion, contact with several contractors, produced a six page report, worked up five potential alternatives, their favorite being the spending of up to $10,000 to put computer controlled screens on the outside of the window or coat the window with reflective film, but whose Town Clerk has decided to solve the problem by moving the desk away from the window. ____________________________________________________
Tales and pictures of feral children.....so sad.

Today, October 11, in
1776 During the American Revolution the first naval battle 
 of Lake Champlain was fought. The forces under Gen. Benedict 
 Arnold suffered heavy losses. 
1811 The Juliana, the first steam-powered ferryboat, was put 
 into operation by the inventor John Stevens. The ferry went 
 between New York City, NY, and Hoboken, NJ. 
1869 Thomas Edison filed for a patent on his first invention. 
 The electric machine was used for counting votes for the 
 U.S. Congress, however the Congress did not buy it. 
 because there was no way to rig it for cheating. 
1881 David Henderson Houston patented the first roll film 
 for cameras. 
1899 The Boer War began in South Africa between the British 
 and the Boers of the Transvaal and Orange Free State. 
1929 JCPenney opened a store in Milford, DE, making it a 
 nationwide company with stores in all 48 states. 
1939 U.S. President Roosevelt was presented with a letter 
 from Albert Einstein that urged him to develop the U.S. 
 atomic program rapidly. 
1958 Pioneer 1, a lunar probe, was launched by the U.S. 
 The probe did not reach its destination and fell back to 
 Earth and burned up in the atmosphere. 
1968 Apollo 7 was launched by the U.S. The first manned 
 Apollo mission was the first in which live television 
 broadcasts were received from orbit. Wally Schirra, 
 Don Fulton Eisele and R. Walter Cunningham were the 
 astronauts aboard. 
1983 The last hand-cranked telephones in the U.S. went 
 out of service. The 440 telephone customers of Bryant 
 Pond, ME, were switched to direct-dial service. 
1984 American Kathryn D. Sullivan became the first female 
 astronaut to space walk. She was aboard Challenger. 
1994 U.S. troops in Haiti took control of the National Palace. 
1994 Iraqi troops began moving away from the Kuwaiti border. 
1994 The Colorado Supreme Court declared that the anti-gay 
 rights measure in the state was unconstitutional. 
2015  smiled.


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FireFox and/or Chrome 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 10

Thank you, Elizabeth!!


After yesterday's uncomplimentary remarks about IE,
by sheer coincidence, of course,
FaceBook blocked me. They claimed that DearWebby was not
my real name. 
DearWebby has been my name a lot longer than FaceBook
has been theirs!

It's just a minor nuisance. Considering the source, it really
is not a big deal. I rarely spend more than 5 minutes per
day on FB, and the number of FB friends are only about 1/6
of the Humor Letter readers, if that. 

You can still get to my FB page with old links, so it really
is not a big deal.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida car thief arrested for driving stolen car to police station Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 9, in More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some. --- Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Two Venusians are walking down the street. One Venusian finds a little mirror, looks in it, again, and again. Puzzled, she says to the other one, "I just know I've seen this face before!" "Give it to me", says the other Venusian. She looks in the mirror and says, "Of course, you silly! It's me!!" ______________________________________________________ The fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet. She was shocked and stunned and said, "I've never seen anything like it before. This is wonderful. But, please tell me, what came over all of you? Why are you so well behaved and quiet?" Finally, after much urging, spoke up and said, "Well, one time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you would drop dead." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: No, she did not go out onto the porch to take that picture! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Carnell Eugene Butler 18, St. Petersburg, Florida
Florida car thief arrested for driving stolen car to police station Authorities say an 18-year-old man drove a stolen car to police headquarters to pick up court papers about a previous auto theft he was involved in — documents that were found in yet another stolen car. Carnell Eugene Butler now faces charges in three stolen car cases. St. Petersburg police say officers found a stolen Infiniti on Sunday. Inside, they found Butler's documents related to a June auto theft arrest. Detectives contacted Butler, who arranged to pick them up. When he arrived at police headquarters, a detective arrested Butler and found keys to a Hyundai Sonata in his pocket. The car was located a block away. It, too, had been reported stolen. Butler is held without bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dani Re: Firefox and/or Chrome Good Morning Webby, I see in today's Webby tips that you suggest using Chrome, or at least FireFox. I am using FireFox. Do you think Chrome is better than FireFox? If I install Chrome, should I remove FireFox or keep it as a back up? Thanks for all you do to help us. Dani Dear Dani You can have both FireFox AND Chrome running side by side. Personally, I prefer Chrome, but sometimes I use both Chrome and Firefox side by side to compare how a new design appears on different browsers. Usually they are quite consistent these days. There is no need to get rid of one. Unlike IE, those two are both quite secure. DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Two good Catholic boys passed an Episcopalian minister. At the sight of the reversed collar, one of them automatically said, "Hello, Father." The other boy elbowed him in the ribs. "He's no father, you dummy," said the second youth, "He's married and got three kids!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Duck Tape in Baggies I use duct tape for many of my crafts and with cats, I constantly am picking off hair from the edge of the tape roll. I also find that when I put it away in my storage box it sticks to everything. To solve both of these issues I have started storing the rolls in plastic baggies. I use both sandwich (holds 1 roll) and gallon (holds 4 rolls) sized bags. By lalala... [696] By the way, it's DUCK tape, not duct tape. The name comes from DUCK Weave, a square weave strip as used for the Egyptian mummies and countless applications since then. Hospital tape is one of the better known ones, and so is Duck Tape. A Duck weave tape always tears straight across, never lengthwise like Fiber Tape. Duck tape of course is also used for taping ducts, where the workers appreciate that it tears straight across and never lengthwise. There have been lots of arguments and even lawsuits about duck versus duct. The fact is, though, it has been called duck tape for a lot longer than there have been ducts. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The most remarkable thing about Ernie's wife is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. ___________________________________________________

360 cockpit video Swiss airforce goofing around
____________________________________________________ Patient: Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and song, will I live longer? Doctor: Not really. It will just seem longer. ____________________________________________________
What an interesting world we live in. September's National Geographic photo highlights.

Today, October 10, in
1845 The United States Naval Academy opened in Annapolis, MD.
1865 The billiard ball was patented by John Wesley Hyatt. 
1887 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Phonograph Company. 
1911 China's Manchu dynasty was overthrown by revolutionaries 
 under Sun Yat-sen. 
1913 U.S. President Woodrow Wilson triggered the explosion of 
 the Gamboa Dike that ended the construction of the Panama Canal. 
1933 Dreft, the first synthetic detergent, went on sale. 
1938 Nazi Germany completed its return of Czechoslovakia's 
 Sudetenland. 
1943 Chaing Kai-shek took the oath of office as the president 
 of China. 
1957 U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower apologized to Komla 
 Agbeli Gbdemah, the finance minister of Ghana, after the 
 official had been refused service in a Dover, DE, restaurant. 
1959 Pan American World Airways announced the beginning of the 
 first global airline service. 
1963 A dam burst in Italy killing 3,000 people. 
1965 The Red Baron made his first appearance in the "Peanuts" 
 comic strip. 
1973 Fiji became independent after of nearly a century of 
 British rule. 
1987 Tom McClean finished rowing across the Atlantic Ocean. 
 He set the record at 54 days and 18 hours. 
1991 The United States cut all foreign aid to Haiti in 
 reaction to a military coup that forced President 
 Jean-Claude Aristide into exile. 
1994 Iraq announced it was withdrawing its forces from the 
 Kuwaiti border. No signs of a pullback were observed. 
1997 The Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, Spain, opened to the 
 public. 
2003 Rush Limbaugh annouced that he was addicted to painkillers 
 and that he was going to check into a rehab center. 
2010 In China, Canton Tower opened to the public. 
2015  smiled.


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IE malfunction 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 9
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you Michael!!!!!
Thanks, Neil!
Thanks, Ron!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Missouri intruder arrested for sleeping in an unused bedroom Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 9, in 1855 Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Caller to a travel agency: "I want to go from Chicago to Bison, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent replied: "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the customer. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Bison anywhere." The customer retorted, "Oh don't be silly. Everyone knows where it is. I got 2 cousins there! Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "Do you by any chance mean Buffalo ?" The customer replied: "That's close enough." ______________________________________________________ New Yorkers are a breed apart. A man was mugged but had no cash. Afraid he'd be hurt, he offered to write the guy a check. The mugger said dumbfounded, "A Check ? Why would I take a check from you ? I don't even know you !" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gregory Trent Cole 53, WENTZVILLE, Mo.
Partially-clothed intruder found sleeping in child's unused bedroom A 53-year-old man has been charged with burglary and harassment after he was found asleep in an empty bedroom of someone else's Missouri home. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch reports Gregory Trent Cole was charged Monday. Authorities say Cole entered a home in the St. Louis suburb of Wentzville and went into a bedroom early Sunday while the people who lived in the home were in another room. They say he removed some of his clothes and went to sleep. Police say the man was discovered around 8 a.m., wearing only underwear and a shirt. Cole was taken to the St. Charles County Jail, where he is jailed on $15,000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ginger Re: IE malfunction Dear Webby Ctrl/Alt/up arrow worked to get the screen right side up. Now I'm getting a message when I try to sign in with Internet Explorer: "There is a problem with this website's security certificate" no matter what site I try to sign in to.... any idea what's going on? Thank you, Ginger Dear Ginger Internet Exploder is obsolete, and not secure enough. Dump it. Use Chrome, or at least FireFox. I have not used Internet Exploder for many years and have no idea how to fix it's problems. Good Luck! DearWebby Thanks Webby - I DID switch to Chrome and it's working fine. Glad we have you for a resource person! Ginger _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when the CEO was standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said. turned the shredder on, and with a flourish bowed out of the way. As the CEO inserted the paper, the motor inside whirred to live and pulled the paper in. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Treating Dry Cracked Heels A major cause of dry cracked heels in women comes after menopause. Hormonal changes are a major culprit. All of our glands are changing. The oil glands slow down oil production. There isn't much you can do except for diligent care. There are a few excellent exfoliate files made especially for feet. Pumice stones work for the younger crowd, but not for us. Cheap Dollar Store foot scrapers don't work. Go to a beauty supply and get a good brand foot exfoliater and foot cream. Diligence is the major key to keeping your heels soft like they were in your teens. It is possible. Make it a nightly regime; file (exfoliate) and cream every night! By hopeful [27] The same happens with men too, especially if they are getting close to heart or diabetes problems. I found best for getting rid of dry calloused skin on the feet and elbows, yes, it affects them too, is the flexible sanding mesh sold for gyprock (sheet rock, drywall) work. It is a flexible mesh, that does not clog up or build up. Just shake it when done, and it is clean again, ready for next time. You can get it at Home Depot and similar places for $3 - $5 for a pack of 5. Keep one, give away the rest. After sanding I use a little dab of baby oil. Not as fancy on the outside of the bottle, but does the job quite nicely. Just once a week is enough for me now. No more cracked and painfully infected heels, but soft and flexible skin. If you got thick and hard callouses, that have started to crack and the cracks "swallow" sock lint and infect, you should go to a pedicurist to clean out the cracks and glue them. Believe it or not, when the cracks are cleaned out and disinfected, they can be glued shut with crazy glue. That allows them to heal in record time. However, a weekly sanding and oiling should become a habit, once that excessive skin growth on heels and soles, and elbows, has started. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Benny Cohen was pulled out of the ocean by a lifeguard. His wife ran over sobbing, "Benny! Benny, what happened?!" "Madam, please don't get hysterical," said the lifeguard. "I'm just going to give your husband some artificial respiration and he'll be fine." "What!" Mrs. Cohen yelled. "My Benny gets either real respiration or nothing." ___________________________________________________

Asi se crea un mosaico pieza a pieza Personally, I think this is so cool! All the handwork involved.
____________________________________________________ "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then , why do you consider yourself an idiot?" inquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing all by yourself." ____________________________________________________ 1... Avoid alliteration. Always. 2... Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3... Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.) 4... Employ the vernacular. 5... Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 6... Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. 7... It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 8... Contractions aren't necessary 9... Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. 10.. One should never generalize. 11.. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." 12.. Comparisons are as bad as cliches. 13.. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. 14.. Profanity sucks. 15.. Be more or less specific. 16.. Understatement is always best. 17.. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. 18.. One-word sentences? Eliminate. 19.. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. 20.. The passive voice is to be avoided. 21.. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. 22.. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. 23.. Who needs rhetorical questions? ____________________________________________________
Sculptures by Lorenzo Quinn, son of Actor Anthony Quinn.

Today, October 9, in
1635 Roger Williams, founder of Rhode Island, was banished 
 from Massachusetts because he had spoken out against 
 punishments for religious offenses and giving away land 
 that belonged to the Indians. Williams had founded 
 Providence, Rhode Island as a place for people to seek 
 religious freedom. 
1701 The Collegiate School of Connecticut was chartered 
 in New Haven. The name was later changed to Yale. 
1776 A group of Spanish missionaries settled in what is 
 now San Francisco, CA. 
1781 The last major battle of the American Revolutionary 
 War took place in Yorktown, VA. The American forces, led 
 by George Washington, defeated the British troops under 
 Lord Cornwallis. 
1812 During the War of 1812 American forces captured two 
 British brigs, the Detroit and the Caledonia. 
1855 Isaac Singer patented the sewing machine motor. 
1855 Joshua C. Stoddard received a patent for his calliope. 
1858 Mail service via stagecoach between San Francisco, CA, 
 and St. Louis, MO, began. 
1872 Aaron Montgomery started his mail order business with 
 the delivery of the first mail order catalog. The firm later 
 became Montgomery Wards. 
1876 Alexander Graham Bell and Thomas Watson made their 
 longest telephone call to date. It was a distance of two miles. 
1914 During World War I, German forces captured Antwerp, Belgium. 
1919 The Cincinnati Reds won the World Series. The win would be 
 later tainted when 8 Chicago White Sox were charged with 
 throwing the game. The incident became known as the 
 "Black Sox" scandal. 
1935 "Cavalcade of America" was first broadcast on CBS radio. 
1936 The first generator at Hoover Dam began transmitting 
 electricity to Los Angeles, CA. 
1940 St. Paul's Cathedral in London was bombed by the Nazis. 
 The dome was unharmed in the bombing. 
1946 "The Iceman Cometh" opened in New York City, NY. 
1946 The first electric blanket went on sale in Petersburg, VA. 
1975 Andrei Sakharov was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The 
 Soviet scientist is known as the "father of the hydrogen bomb." 
1989 The official Soviet news agency Tass reported an UFO. 
 The report included a trio of tall aliens that had visited 
 the city of Voronzh. 
1994 The U.S. sent troops and warships to the Persian Gulf in 
 response to Saddam Hussein sending thousands of troops and 
 hundreds of tanks toward the Kuwaiti border. 
1995 Saboteurs tinkered with a stretch of railroad track in 
 Arizona. An Amtrak train derailed killing one and injuring 
 a hundred. 
2000 Brett Hull (Dallas Stars) scored his 611th National 
 Hockey League (NHL) goal. The goal allowed him to pass his 
 father, Bobby Hull, on the all time scoring list bringing 
 him to number 9. 
2003 Britain's Queen Elizabeth II knighted Roger Moore and made 
 Sting a CBE (Commander of the British Empire). 
2009 NASA launched the Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing 
 Satellite (LCROSS). On November 13, it was announced that water 
 had been discovered in the planned impact plume on the moon. 
2015  smiled.


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Scamware infection 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 8

>From Neil
Here is an online file converter that will handle many 
types of files, not just video
http://www.fileminx.com/
Neil

Thanks, Neil!


I had scrimped to save towards winter tires and had enough
for half of one tire in the jar. But such was not to be.
Got nailed by the cops.
Some woman was texting or doing something, that caused her 
to swerve and change speeds, so I decided to pass her at 
the earliest opportunity, and let her have her accident 
somewhere behind me.

No problem, I thought. When there was a break in the traffic
in the other lane, I stomped on the gas, passed her and was 
back in my lane long before there was traffic on the other 
lane.

Unfortunately, a cop was the second car in that lane, and
he saw his opportunity to be nasty to a good guy.
Apparently, at the moment I passed the SUV, I was briefly
going 30 over the speed limit.

It used to be that just for a second for passing it was 
OK to go over the speed limit. Apparently not, when I am 
the victim. That sure put a big damper on my mood.
No winter tires, and no Christmas this year.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a California 'Maxi Pad Bandit' Arrested Despite Fiendishly Clever Disguise Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 7, in 1918 U.S. Corporal Alvin C. York almost single-handedly killed 25 German soldiers and captured 132 in the Argonne Forest in France. York had originally tried to avoid being drafted as a conscientious objector. After this event his was promoted to sergeant and was awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ One thing life has taught me: if you are interested, you never have to look for new interests. They come to you. When you are genuinely interested in one thing, it will always lead to something else. --- Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962) There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish. --- Euripides (484 - 406 BC) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Q. The truth of the matter is that you are not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You too were shot in the fracas? A. No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel. ______________________________________________________ A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home. "Leroy!", said grandma, "You've been going to that park for years! How could you get lost?" Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear, he whispered, "I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gary Victor 51, Victorville, California
'Maxi Pad Bandit' Arrested Despite Fiendishly Clever Disguise Who was that "maxied" man? A man accused of robbing an auto parts store in Apple Valley, California, has been arrested despite disguising his face by strategically putting a maxi pad over his eyes. Surveillance video, taken around 6:40 p.m. on Sept. 28, shows a man with a feminine hygiene taped on his head, using a piece of wood to break the glass front door of a Battery Mart and slip inside the store, according to Victor Valley News. The suspect stole several battery chargers and flashlights before fleeing the scene in a white 1992 Dodge Dynasty. When Battery Mart owner Mark Wedell saw the video, he immediately noticed something about the burglar. “Right away everybody started saying we should call this guy the maxi pad bandit,” Wedell told NBC Los Angeles. “We had a pretty good picture of his face 'cause he came to the store the first time and looked in the window without his maxi pad on.” “But when he came back and he had the maxi pad over his eyes, I guess he thought it was going to take care of everything." Investigators for the San Bernardino Sheriff's Dept. had no problem seeing through the fiendishly clever disguise and quickly arrested their sanitary suspect, 51-year-old Gary Victor. "It wasn't surprising, but yes, that is, in fact, that's what he was trying to conceal his identity with, and he didn't do a very good job," police spokeswoman Trish Hill said, according to UPI. Victor was arrested and taken into custody on suspicion of burglary and possessing stolen property. The stolen items were returned to Battery Mart, according to the Victorville Daily Press. The maxi pad was recovered and taken into evidence, Hill told HuffPost. Victor is a convicted felon with an extensive history of run-ins with the law, according to the Victor Valley News.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ed Re: Scamware Dear Webby Hi. Your letter has helped me out of so many binds. Thank you. I just got a virus on my computer that I can't handle. I think I heard about this type on your letter not too long ago. It has shut down everything that I want to use. Pretty much my whole operating system, and put a bunch of programs on my computer. Then it tells me my computer has been rendered useless for safety and I should call an 877 number for assistance. I have run virus scans in safe mode, but the virus cannot be found. And I can not get rid of it. Any help or advice would be much appreciated. I am fearful I will have to take the computer in to a shop to get rid of it as it is the worst virus I have ever seen. Thanks Ed Dear Ed I guess you don't have McAfee. You MIGHT be able to install it, but many of those viruses block it. Try getting it via http://webby.com/mac You might be able to sneak it onto the machine via that route. If it doesn't get rid of the scamware, chat their support. They can get onto your machine and do miracles there. Don't worry about your porn collection. Those guys have seen bigger ones, and are not interested in anything except fixing as many machines per day as possible. You have to have a current account with McAfee, though. Without that, they can't help you. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A guide is showing a Texan the Niagara Falls. "I'll bet you don't have anything like that in Texas!" "Nope, I reckon we don't," said the Texan. "But we've got plumbers who could fix it." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy No-Peel Applesauce How to make an easy, cheap, quick applesauce for Fall! Approximate Time: 4 Hours Yield: 10-12 servings Ingredients: 20 assorted apples 1/2 cup brown sugar 2 Tbsp cinnamon 1 cup water Steps: Choose 20 assorted apples. Break off stems. Core and cut all apples. Add apples, water, cinnamon and sugar to crock pot. Simmer on low heat for four hours. Mash apples in crock pot after four hours. Puree' applesauce in food processor. Enjoy! By GRAPE [8] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?" ___________________________________________________

safety truck
____________________________________________________ The drunk was brought into night court, having been picked up on suspicion of being the notorious night prowler. "What were you doing out at 3 A.M.?" the judge sternly queried. "I was going to a lecture." "A lecture at 3 A.M.?" The judge was scornful. "Oh, schure," said the drunk. "Schometimes my wife schtarts 'em even later than that." ____________________________________________________
What a magnificent horse!

Today, October 8, in
1895 The Berliner Gramophone Company was founded in 
 Philadelphia, PA. 
1915 During World War I, the Battle of Loos concluded. 
1918 U.S. Corporal Alvin C. York almost single-handedly 
 killed 25 German soldiers and captured 132 in the 
 Argonne Forest in France. York had originally tried 
 to avoid being drafted as a conscientious objector. After 
 this event his was promoted to sergeant and was awarded 
 the Congressional Medal of Honor. 
1919 The first transcontinental air race in the U.S. began. 
1945 U.S. President Truman announced that only Britain and 
 Canada would be given the secret to the atomic bomb. 
1950 U.N. forces crossed into North Korea from South Korea. 
1952 "The Complete Book of Etiquette" was published for the 
 first time. 
1966 The U.S. Government declared that LSD was a dangerous 
 and an illegal substance. 
1970 Soviet author Alexander Solzhenitsyn won the Nobel Prize 
 for literature. 
1981 U.S. President Reagan greeted former Presidents Carter, 
 Ford and Nixon to the White House. The group was preparing to 
 leave for Egypt to attend the funeral of Anwar Sadat. 
1982 In Poland, all labor organizations, including Solidarity, 
 were banned. 
1991 A slave burial site was found by construction workers in 
 lower Manhattan. The "Negro Burial Ground" had been closed in 
 1790. Over a dozen skeletons were found. 
1993 The U.S. government issued a report absolving the FBI of 
 any wrongdoing in its final assault in Waco, TX, on the Branch 
 Davidian compound. The fire that ended the siege killed as 
 many as 85 people. 
1998 Taliban forces attacked Iranian border posts. Iran said 
 that three border posts were destroyed before the Taliban 
 forces were forced to retreat. The Taliban of Afghanistan 
 denied the event occurred. 
1998 Canada and Netherlands were voted into the U.N. 
 Security Council. 
2001 Tom Ridge, former Governor of Pennsylvania, was sworn in 
 as director of the new U.S. department of Homeland Security. 
2001 Two Russian cosmonauts made the first spacewalk to be conducted 
 outside of the international space station without a shuttle present. 
2002 A federal judge approved U.S. President George W. Bush's request 
 to reopen West Coast ports, to end a caustic 10-day labor lockout. 
 The lockout was costing the U.S. economy an estimated $1 billion to 
 $2 billion a day. 
2003 China announced that it would have a human crew orbit the Earth 
 briefly on October 15. 
2003 Vietnam and the United States reached a tentative agreement that 
 would allow the first commercial flights between the two countries 
 since the end of the Vietnam War. 
2003 It was announced that Vivendi Universal and General Electric Co. 
 had reached an agreement to merge. The name for the combined company 
 was NBC Universal. 
2003 Siegfried Fischbacher and his manager announced that the 
 "Siegfried and Roy" show at the Mirage was canceled permanently. It 
 was also said that if Roy Horn survived, after a tiger attack on 
 October 3, the duo would continue to work together. 
2004 The first-ever direct presidential elections were held in Afghanistan. 
2015  smiled.


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Another video converter 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, October 7

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida woman, who stole boyfriend's false teeth, prescription drugs Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 7, in 1913 For the first time, Henry Ford's entire Highland Park automobile factory was run on a continuously moving assembly line when the chassis was added to the process. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder. --- M. C. Escher (1898 - 1972) "Everybody wants to be somebody; nobody wants to grow." --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Frustrated at always being corrected by her husband, Gina decided the next time it happened, she would have a comeback. That moment finally arrived, and she was ready. "You know," she challenged, "even a broken clock is right once a day." Leroy looked at her and replied, "Twice a day." ______________________________________________________ An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary. "Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig." The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Felicity Leigh Palma 44, Port St. Lucie, Florida
Florida woman stole boyfriend's false teeth, prescription drugs A woman in Port St. Lucie was arrested Thursday after allegedly stealing her boyfriend's prescription drugs and filing a false police report because he had upset her, police said. According to authorities, Felicity Leigh Palma, 44, called police to report a burglary in progress in the 4000 block of SE Bonney Street Thursday evening. She told the officers she saw "two dudes" running from her home, and that her jewelry and money had been stolen, an arrest report said. Palma's boyfriend told police that two of his prescription drugs and a pink case containing false teeth were missing. As police were investigating, her boyfriend brought over a bag to police that he had found inside Palma's car and dumped the contents onto a table, the report said. Out spilled the pink case containing his false teeth. Palma became defense and stated that he was trying to frame her, the report said. Police then noticed the missing prescription drug bottles belonging to her boyfriend inside a purse Palma was carrying. Palma told police that she fabricated the entire incident because she was mad at her boyfriend and wanted to show him how easy it would be for someone to steal from him, the report said. She was booked into the the St. Lucie County Jail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Tony Re: Another Video converter Dear Webby LOVE your newsletter and look forward to reading it regularly! You've helped me with several problems I've had and also make sure I didn't create a few more. LOL (I think this is only my 2nd time replying to a reader's question) Darcy was asking about a good video converter program. I've been using Format Factory (http://www.pcfreetime.com) for MANY years. Not only is it a great video converter it's also a great converter for audio files, photos and just about everything anyone would need to convert the format on... (and it's also my favorite price: FREE!) Tony Thanks Tony! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Underneath in hand writing: Socks can eat any place they want. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Line Dry Jeans Inside Out I love hanging our clothes outside to dry, but don't like stiff jeans. My late mother-in-law taught me to turn them inside out when I hung them on the clothes line. They end up soft and wrinkle free. It also helps to slow down the fading of the jeans. By Mary [2] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Captain - "How did you attain such proficiency in bayonet thrusting?" Private - "Reaching for steak at our boarding house." ___________________________________________________

flutes
____________________________________________________ Junior was one of those holy terrors and dad was quite surprised when his wife suggested that they buy him a bike for his birthday. "Do you really believe that'll help improve his behavior ?" he asked. "Well, yes," she said, "it will be a lot more peaceful INSIDE the house." ____________________________________________________
It takes a lot of talent to paint on feathers. I especially like the owls and the bluebirds.

Today, October 7, in
1765 Nine American colonies sent a total of 28 delegates to 
 New York City for the Stamp Act Congress. The delegates 
 adopted the "Declaration of Rights and Grievances." 
1777 During the American Revolution the second Battle of 
 Saratoga began. 
1868 Cornell University was inaugurated in Ithaca, NY. 
1913 For the first time, Henry Ford's entire Highland Park 
 automobile factory was run on a continuously moving 
 assembly line when the chassis was added to the process. 
1918 The Georgia Tech football team defeated Cumberland 
 College 222-0. Georgia Tech carried the ball 978 yards 
 and never threw a pass. 
1949 The German Democratic Republic (East Germany) was formed. 
1950 The U.S.-led U.N. forces crossed the 38th parallel and 
 entered North Korea. China in November proved their threat 
 to enter the war by sending several hundred thousand troops 
 over the border into North Korea. 
1963 U.S. President Kennedy signed a nuclear test ban treaty 
 with Britain and the Soviet Union. 
1981 The Egyptian parliament, after the assassination of 
 Anwar Sadat, named Vice President Hosni Mubarak the next 
 president of Egypt. 
1985 The United States announced that it would no longer 
 automatically comply with World Court decisions. 
1989 In Budapest, Hungary's Communist Party renounced Marxism 
 in favor of democratic socialism. 
1993 U.S. President Clinton sent more troops, heavy armor, 
 and naval firepower to Somalia. 
1994 U.S. President Clinton dispatched an aircraft carrier 
 to the Persian Gulf when Iraqi troops were spotted moving 
 toward Kuwait. The U.S. Army was also put on alert. 
1998 The U.S. government filed an antitrust suit that 
 alleged Visa and MasterCard inhibit competition by 
 preventing banks from offering other cards. 
1999 American Home Products Corp. agreed to pay up to 
 $4.83 billion to settle claims that the fen-phen diet 
 drug caused dangerous problems with heart valves. 
2001 The U.S. and Great Britain began airstrikes in 
 Afghanistan in response to that state's support of 
 terrorism and Osama bin Laden. The act was the first 
 military action taken in response to the terrorist 
 attacks on the U.S. on September 11, 2001. 
2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected 
 governor in the recall election of Governor Gray Davis. 
2015  smiled.


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Safe video converter 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 5

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Shoplifter charged after he whined about his store mugshot Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 6, in 1683 The first Mennonites arrived in America aboard the Concord. The German and Dutch families settled in an area that is now a neighborhood in Philadelphia, PA. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ You are not superior just because you see the world in an odious light. --- Vicomte de Chateaubriand (1768 - 1848) The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side. --- James Baldwin (1924 - 1987) Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule. --- Stephen King (1947 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Psychology was tried on a difficult hiccough case. All simple remedies had failed and the physician, knowing that his patient was an old tightwad, resorted to a stratagem. He administered a new, cheap medicine. This drew from the patient an inquiry as to its contents. "Chiefly musk," said the doctor. "But isn't that the expensive stuff they use in perfumes?" "Yes," said the doctor. "Each dose of this costs thirty dollars." The hiccoughs immediately stopped. ______________________________________________________ A mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter's plane. She had just come back from a far away land trying to find adventure. As the daughter was exiting the plane, the mother noticed a man directly behind her daughter dressed in feathers with exotic markings all over his body and carrying a shrunken head. The daughter introduced this man as her new husband. The mother gasped in disbelief and disappointment and screamed, "Oy vey! I said for you to marry a Rich Doctor! A RRRRRRich Doctor!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this picture: These bloomed today. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicholas Allegretto, 23, Cambridge, England
Shoplifter charged after he whined about his mugshot The incident: A store posted a picture online of a man whom they'd caught shoplifting. The appropriate response: Not shoplifting if you're not comfortable with that type of exposure. The actual response: He complained to police that his human rights were being violated. 23-year-old Nicholas Allegretto attempted to steal a magnet from Mackays, a hardware store in Cambridge, England. He was caught outside the store and made to give the magnet back. He then ran away. After the incident, the owner of the store took a screencap of Allegretto from the security camera footage and sent it to the local newspaper to print. Speaking to the Daily Mail, store owner Neil Mackay, said, "[We were] basically saying to him: 'We know who you are, our staff knows who you are, you're not very welcome, thank you very much indeed. We'd rather you didn't come in the store." The image was also posted on social media. According to Mackay, Allegretto then went to the local police station to complain that his "human rights were being abused." The Cambridge News reports that Allegretto told police he had lost his job as a roofer and his sister had been bullied at school as a result of the image's publication. "The police decided they had enough evidence once they looked at the CCTV images to prosecute, and that's what they've done," said Mackay. Allegretto was charged with theft. He was supposed to appear in court on Wednesday, but didn't show up. He was found guilty in his absence. "I suppose you could say he wasn't the sharpest tool in the box," said Mackay. Which is a funny thing for him to say, because he owns a tool shop.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Darcy Re: Video converter Dear Webby I have to convert MOV video to MP4. A friend suggested I use Miro, but that outfit seems to have taken the money and ran far away. Their download is straight malware and no browser will allow it. Their support is totally phony too. ConvertMovToAvi is a dud too. It produces a black MP4 file. DUH! Do you know of any, that are actually working and safe to download? Thanks Darcy Dear Darcy I checked and tried a bunch. MIRO is definitely a 'has-been'. Luckily all the browsers protect you from that crap. Miro 'support' seems to be the malware producers and are not interested at all in being told that their downloads are malware. Eventually I did find a good one: AnyVideoConverter. Their entrance at http://www.any-video-converter.com/ is a bit confusing. Here is a link straight to their FREE Download: AnyVideoConverter Download AnyVideoConverter works fine for me. You c an go back to their main entrance and see whate else they have, that might be useful for you. They have all kinds of fancy stuff, for example for ripping Netflix or rented movies to DVD. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Little Johnny's mother asked him, "Why did you get such a low grade on that test?" "Because of an absence," he replied. "You mean you were absent on the day of the test?" she questioned. Little Johnny replied, "No, but the kid who normally sits next to me was." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Super Duper De-Greaser Now you finally have something useful you can make with all those annoying little soap slivers. You don't have to throw them out anymore, make an all purpose kitchen cleaner! With a few minutes and virtually no cost, you can have a bottle full of de-greaser ready to go. Re-duce, re-use, go green! :) Approximate Time: 20 minutes Yield: 22 ounces Supplies: 1/4 cup finely chopped soap slivers 1 Tbsp borax 2 3/4 cup water empty spray bottle funnel Steps: As you can see, I opted for intact fingers and chose to chop the soap with a knife. The pieces are just too small. :) Add 1 cup of water to a pot. Add your soap. Stir continuously with a fork or whisk over medium/high heat until soap is dissolved. This should take about 5 minutes. Soap soup, smells really clean! Add this mixture to your bottle. Add the borax. Add remaining 1 3/4 cups water. Replace top and gently tilt back and forth to combine. Make a new label so you know what it is. :) All set! Great for grimy stoves, oven hoods, microwaves, etc. Source: Modified from an idea in a book called Make It By melissa [199] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A patient, while recovering in the hospital from a heart attack, met this over-zealous evangelist. After listening politely for a over a half hour on how thankful he should be to have been spared, and how he should repent at once, he asked if all of his sins had flashed before his eyes during the heart attack. The patient responded, "Don't be ridiculous, the attack had only lasted 6 hours." ___________________________________________________

Lee Marvin sings - manstyle
____________________________________________________ A well worn dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty arrived at the bureau of Engraving and Printing to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to the shredder they struck up a conversation. The twenty reminisced about its travels all over the country. "I've had a pretty good life." the twenty proclaimed. "I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise from Miami." "Wow!" said the single, "you really have gotten around." "So tell me", says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?" "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Presbyterian Church, the Lutheran Church, the Catholic Church, the Orthodox Church, Assembly of God Church, the Brethren Church, the United Church of Christ, ...." The twenty says, "What's a church?" ____________________________________________________
What beautiful scenes of animals and nature.

Today, October 6, in
1683 The first Mennonites arrived in America aboard the Concord. 
 The German and Dutch families settled in an area that is now a 
 neighborhood in Philadelphia, PA. 
1848 The steamboat SS California left New York Harbor for San 
 Francisco via Cape Horn. The steamboat service arrived on 
 February 28, 1849. The trip took 4 months and 21 days. 
1866 The Reno Brothers pulled the first train robbery in 
 America near Seymour, IN. The got away with $10,000. 
1880 The National League kicked the Cincinnati Reds out for 
 selling beer. 
1884 The Naval War College was established in Newport, RI. 
1889 In Paris, the Moulin Rouge opened its doors to the 
 public for the first time. 
1889 The Kinescope was exhibited by Thomas Edison. He had 
 patented the moving picture machine in 1887. 
1890 Polygamy was outlawed by the Mormon Church. 
1928 War-torn China was reunited under the Nationalist 
 leader Chiang Kai-Shek. 
1939 Adolf Hitler denied any intention to wage war against 
 Britain and France in an address to Reichstag. 
1949 U.S. president Harry Truman signed the Mutual Defense 
 Assistance Act. The act provided $1.3 billion in the form 
 of military aid to NATO countries. 
1961 U.S. president John F. Kennedy advised American families 
 to build or buy bomb shelters to protect them in the event 
 of a nuclear exchange with the Soviet Union. 
1973 Egypt and Syria attacked Israel in an attempt to win 
 back territory that had been lost in the third Arab-Israel 
 war. Support for Israel led to a devastating oil embargo 
 against many nations including the U.S. and Great Britain 
 on October 17, 1973. The war lasted 2 weeks. 
1979 Pope John Paul II became the first pontiff to visit the 
 White House. 
1991 Elizabeth Taylor married Larry Fortensky. The ceremony 
 was held at Michael Jackson's estate near Los Angeles, CA. 
 It was Taylor's 8th marriage and Fortensky's 3rd. 
2015  smiled.


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No Word-Wrap in some emails 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, October 5

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh paddy-wagon inmate kicked other woman in face after victim farted near her Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 3, in 1919 Enzo Ferrari debuted in his first race. He later founded the Auto Avio Construzioni Ferrari, an independent manufacturing company. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter- he's got to just know. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ On a recent flight, an elderly passenger kept peering out the window. Since it was totally dark, all she could see was the blinking wing-tip light. Finally, she rang for the flight attendant. "I'm sorry to bother you," she said, "but I think you should inform the pilot that he left his left-turn indicator on and seems to have forgotten about it." ______________________________________________________ GROANER ALERT: What disease can you get from kissing birds? Chirpies! (A canarial disease, but it's untweetable.) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this picture: These too bloomed today. They are in the lean-to against the side of the house. You see the stucko of the house. The walls and top of the lean-to are hollow, 1/2 inch thick greenhouse plastic, that is now about a dozen years old, but still keeps the weather out and the warmth in. Because the palstic is getting old and milky, shadows and contrast are muted, but the cacti still look great. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jeanelle Callahan, 48, Clearwater, Florida
Floriduh paddy-wagon inmate kicked other woman in face after victim farted near her As she was being transported to jail, a Florida woman became “irate” and kicked another female detainee in the face after the victim “‘farted’ near her,” police allege. Jeanelle Callahan, 48, was busted Thursday afternoon after she punched her male roommate in the face, according to an arrest affidavit. Callahan, who was reportedly “highly intoxicated,” left the man with a bloody nose. Following that misdemeanor collar, Callahan was placed into a jail transport, where she encountered Virginia Turner, 60, who had been arrested for trespassing. Both women were handcuffed in the police vehicle. En route to the county lockup, “the suspect claimed that Virginia Turner ‘farted’ near her,” reported Officer Stephen Zulauf. Callahan became “irate” and attempted to strike Turner in the face with her elbow. Callahan then “raised her right leg and kicked Virginia Turner’s right side of her face.” Turner did not fight back during the attack, which was recorded by the vehicle’s camera system. Callahan, who was already facing a battery rap for punching her roomie, was hit with a second battery count for attacking Turner. She is locked up in the county jail on $1000 bond. Turner was released from custody Friday afternoon.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Darrel Re: Bad email format Dear Webby About 75% of the mails I receive are formatted nincely, with the text flowing and word wrapping properly, when I narrow or widen the window, but the other 25% the lines stretch endlessly to the right and are impossible to read. It is worst when those mails contain a copied text or forward. What causes that? Darrel Dear Darrel Would my guess be correct that a quarter of your mail comes from AOLers? There is probably nothing you can do to get them to send mail properly formatted. About all you can do is hit REPLY. Then YOUR email program will properly line-wrap it and make their mail readable. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A man appears at a woman's front door and announces, "Madam, I'm the piano tuner." "I didn't send for a tuner," the piano-playing woman replies. "I know, lady," the man says. "Your neighbor did." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Yogurt as a Substitute for Butter I've had great success baking with no-fat, plain yogurt instead of butter. Baking powder biscuits, spice cake, bread, muffins; everything's turned out great thus far. Butter isn't necessarily bad for us. I remember my grandfather slathering it on his toast and he lived to be a ripe old age. On the other hand, he was a farmer and worked very hard physically. Few of us put out that kind of effort on a daily basis. By Rose Anne Hutchence [6] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a woman in her 20s and is contemplating a proposal. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asks a friend. "With her, your chances are better," says the friend, "if you tell her you're 90 and have a heart condition." ___________________________________________________

Anastasia Petrik ( 9 years old) from Ukraine
____________________________________________________ A lawyer was cross-examining a witness: "You have just testified that you heard the shot at exactly 11:32 p.m.? How did you know what time it was? Did you look at your watch?" "No," the witness said. "I looked at the sundial in the garden." "That's absurd," screamed the lawyer. "How could you tell time by a sundial at 11:32 at night?" "I had a flashlight," the witness said. ____________________________________________________
Twenty-one things you need in your dream home. I like the stair cases and slides.

Today, October 5, in
1813 Chief Tecumseh of the Shawnee Indians was killed at 
 the Battle of Thames when American forced defeated the 
 British and the allied Indian warriors. 
1877 Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce Indians surrendered to 
 the U.S. Army after a 1,000-mile retreat towards the 
 Canadian border. 
1919 Enzo Ferrari debuted in his first race. He later 
 founded the Auto Avio Construzioni Ferrari, an 
 independent manufacturing company. 
1930 Laura Ingalls became the first woman to make a 
 transcontinental airplane flight. 
1931 Clyde Pangborn and Hugh Herndon landed in Washington 
 after flying non-stop across the Pacific Ocean. The 
 flight originated in Japan and took about 41 hours. 
1937 U.S. President Roosevelt called for a "quarantine" 
 of aggressor nations. 
1947 U.S. President Harry S Truman held the first televised 
 presidential address from the White House. The subject was 
 the current international food crisis. 
1969 A Cuban defector landed a Soviet-made MiG-17 at 
 Homestead Air Force Base in Florida. The plane entered 
 U.S. air space and landed without being detected. 
1969 "Monty Python's Flying Circus" debuted on BBC television. 
1970 Anwar Sadat took office as President of Egypt replacing 
 Gamal Abdel Nassar. Sadat was assassinated in 1981. 
1974 American David Kunst completed the first journey around 
 the world on foot. It took four years and 21 pairs of shoes. 
 He crossed four continents and walked 14,450 miles. 
1985 An Egyptian policeman went on a shooting rampage at a 
 Sinai beach. Seven Israeli tourists were killed. The policeman 
 died in prison the following January of an apparent suicide. 
1986 Sandinista soldiers captured American Eugene Hasenfus 
 after shooting him down over southern Nicaragua. 
1991 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev announced that his 
 country would cut its nuclear arsenal in response to the arms 
 reduction that was initiated by U.S. President George Bush. 
1993 China set off an underground nuclear explosion. 
1995 A 60-day cease-fire was agreed upon by Bonsian combatants. 
 The civil war had lasted 3 1/2 years. 
1998 The U.S. paid $60 million for Russia's research time on 
 the international space station to keep the cash-strapped 
 Russian space agency afloat. 
1999 MCI Worldcom Inc. and Sprint Corp. announced plans to merge. 
2006 Walmart rolled out its $4 generic drug program to the 
 entire state of Florida after a successful test in the 
 Tampa area. 
2015  smiled.


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Email with no line wrap 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, October 4

We got snow this morning.
Gullible Warming is now definitely over. 
The "Ice Age Is Coming" scare mongering has now officially 
started.
It's still your fault. 
The grant recipients pretending to be scientists, will shortly 
adjust the theories, so that they can continue to get 
Government grants. 

Taxes will have to be increased to cope with you causing
Gullible Cooling and the glaciers galloping down into the 
valleys.

For the short term invest in snow shovels.
For the long term invest in bikinis. There will be another
Gullible Warming period in about 25 years. 
The cycles are unbroken.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a PA burglar arrested while wearing same old Superman t-shirt Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 3, in More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas? --- Jean Kerr [Actually, the complete expression is: Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes to the bone.] Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. --- Ambrose Bierce (1842 - 1914) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Mary and her new boyfriend were at her son's volleyball game when she noticed an adult couple in the bleachers. They were being VERY affectionate. She was running her hands all over him and nibbling on his ear. He had a hand on her chest. Mary said to her boyfriend, "I don't know whether to watch them or the game." He said, "Watch THEM! You already KNOW how to play volleyball." ______________________________________________________ During a sermon the pastor stated that money wasn't important in the afterlife, because in heaven, there is no money. One parishioner loudly stage-whispered to his wife, "Did you hear that, Maude? We're already in heaven." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kyree Henneghan, 18, Upper Darby, Pennsylvania
PA burglar arrested while wearing same old Superman t-shirt Police in the Philadelphia suburbs say the Man of Steal was undone by his Superman T-shirt. The Philadelphia Daily News (http://bit.ly/1j2FlJO ) reports 18-year-old Kyree Henneghan was charged with two Upper Darby burglaries that police linked him to because of the shirt. Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood says a man wearing a T-shirt with the Superman shield broke into one home on Sept. 24 and a second on Tuesday. In that heist, the homeowner walked in and Henneghan bolted with a laptop computer. Henneghen made a not-so-speedy getaway on his BMX bicycle and police found him a short time later — still wearing the Superman shirt — trying to sell the computer to men in a car.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Darrel Re: Bad email format Dear Webby About 75% of the mails I receive are formatted nincely, with the text flowing and word wrapping properly, when I narrow or widen the window, but the other 25% the lines stretch endlessly to the right and are impossible to read. It is worst when those mails contain a copied text or forward. What causes that? Darrel Dear Darrel Would my guess be correct that a quarter of your mail comes from AOLers? There is probably nothing you can do to get them to send mail properly formatted. About all you can do is hit REPLY. Then YOUR email program will properly line-wrap it and make their mail readable. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Kathrina was visiting the modern art museum and turned to an attendant standing nearby. "This," she sneered, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?" "No madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Yummiest Microwave Omelet I have been seeing the "Plastic Bag Omelet" on many websites lately. That may be a great idea when you need to make an omelet whilst camping. You only have a pot of boiling water and 20 minutes, but it's my personal choice not to boil my foods in plastics. If you are looking to make an omelet without oil or butter and only have a few minutes, this microwave omelet is your answer! Approximate Time: 4 minutes Yield: 1 large omelet Ingredients: 3 eggs 1 clove garlic salt & pepper to taste 1/4 cup onion, diced 1/4 cup bell pepper, diced 1/4 cup cheese 1 Tbsp salsa Steps: Crack eggs into a medium/large microwaveable bowl and whisk. Grate in a clove of garlic. Season with salt and pepper. Mix well. Drop in remaining ingredients. Mix well. Microwave on high for 2 minutes. The edges will have begun to solidify. The middle will be slightly runny. Give the middle a gentle stir with a fork. Microwave on high for 1 minute. Run a knife or small spatula along the sides of omelet to lift off bowl until you get under it. It will slide right off into your serving plate. Garnish if desired. Enjoy! By attosa [123] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ PUN WARNING: At a church meeting the topic was "Burial or Cremation?" Two of the people got rather worked up. One said to the other, "If you have yourself cremated, all you will be doing is making an ash of yourself!" The other replied, "Well, I'm told that petroleum comes from fossilized bones, so if you have yourself buried all you will be doing is making a fuel of yourself!" ___________________________________________________

dogs are happy to talk about their day, except when . . .
____________________________________________________ An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was." ____________________________________________________
I wouldn't even walk this trail let alone ride a motorcycle over it!

Today, October 4, in
1535 The first complete English translation of the Bible was 
 printed in Zurich, Switzerland. 
1648 The first volunteer fire department was established in 
 New York by Peter Stuyvesant. 
1777 At Germantown, PA, Patriot forces and British forces 
 both suffer heavy losses in battle. The battle was seen as 
 British victory, which actually served as a moral boost 
 to the Americans. 
1876 The Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texas 
 formally dedicated by Texas Gov. Richard Coke. 
1881 Edward Leveaux received a patent for the player piano. 
1909 The first airship race in the U.S. took place in 
 St. Louis, MO. 
1915 The Dinosaur National Monument was established. The 
 area covered part of Utah and Colorado. 
1927 The first actual work of carving began on Mount Rushmore. 
1931 The comic strip "Dick Tracy" made its debut in the Detroit 
 Daily Mirror. The strip was created by Chester Gould. 
1933 "Esquire" magazine was published for the first time. 
1940 Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini met in the Alps at Brenner 
 Pass. Hitler was seeking help from Italy to fight the British. 
1948 The Railroad Hour" debuted on ABC radio. 
1957 The Soviet Union launched Sputnik I into orbit around the 
 Earth. Sputnik was the first manmade satellite to enter space. 
 Sputnik I fell out of orbit on January 4, 1958. 
1958 British Overseas Airways Corporation became the first jetliner 
 to offer trans-Atlantic service to passengers with flights between 
 London, England and New York. 
1981 Bruce Jenner and Harry Belafonte debuted in their first 
 dramatic roles in NBC-TV's "Grambling's White Tiger". 
1987 NFL owners used replacement personnel to play games despite 
 the player's strike. 
1990 The German parliament had its first meeting since reunification. 
1992 The 16-year civil war in Mozambique ended. 
1993 Russian Vice-President Alexander Rutskoi and Chairman Ruslan 
 Khasbulatov surrendered to Boris Yeltsin after a ten-hour tank 
 assault on the Russian White House. The two men had barricaded 
 themselves in after Yeltsin called for general elections and 
 dissolved the legislative body. 
1993 Dozens of Somalis dragged an American soldier through the 
 streets of Mogadishu. A videotape showed Michael Durant being 
 taken prisoner by Somali militants. 
1994 South African President Nelson Mandela was welcomed to the 
 White House by U.S. President Clinton. 
1998 The Vincent Van Gogh exhibit opened in Washington, DC. 
 The exhibit featured 70 paintings. 
1998 Davis Gaines performed as the Phantom in the show "Phantom 
 of the Opera" for the 2,000th time. 
2001 NATO granted the United States open access to their airfields 
 and seaports and agreed to deploy ships and early-warning radar 
 planes in the war on terrorism. 
2001 In Washington, DC, Reagan National Airport re-opened. The 
 airport had been closed since the terrorist attacks on the United 
 States on September 11, 2001. 
2004 SpaceShipOne reached an altitude of 368,000 feet. It was the 
 first privately built, manned rocket ship to fly in space twice 
 within a two week window. The ship won the Ansari X Prize of 
 $10 million dollars for their success.
2015  smiled.


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Safe download locations 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, October 3

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh woman, who was arrested after her 1 year old son drinks her liquid methadone Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 3, in 1929 The Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes officially changed its name to the Kingdom of Yugoslavia. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The more things change, the more they remain... insane. --- Michael Fry and T. Lewis Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. --- H. L. Mencken ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Ronnie McInnis walked into a dentist's office and asked how much it would cost to extract a wisdom tooth. "That'll be $80," the dentist said. "That's ridiculous," Ronnie spat. "Isn't there a cheaper way?" "Well," the dentist said, "if I don't use an anaesthetic, I can knock it down to $60." "That's still too expensive," the man whined. "Okay," the dentist countered, "if I save on anaesthetic and simply rip the tooth out with extraction pliers, I could probably get away with charging $20." "Nope," moaned the man. "It's still too much." "Hmmm," the dentist pondered, scratching his head. "If I let one of my students do it for the experience, I suppose I could charge you just $10." "Marvellous," the man beamed. "Could you book my wife for 5:30 next Friday, after she gets off work?" ______________________________________________________ A father, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family at the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7 year old daughter out for a drive in the car. One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold that he really didn't feel like driving at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and decided that for this Sunday she would take their daughter out. They returned just before lunch and the little girl ran upstairs to see her father. "Well" the father asked, "did you enjoy your ride with Mommy?" "Oh yes Daddy" the girl replied, "and do you know what.......we didn't see a single bastid or dingbat, 'cause Mommy was doing the dingbat stuff herself and scared them all away!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for sending this picture of her son Charlie and his dog Cooper, taken by Melanie, her DIL in 2012 Good Dog! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anna Highland, 27, Fort Myers, Floriduh
Floriduh woman arrested after her 1 year old son drinks her liquid methadone A Fort Myers toddler suffered brain damage after drinking his mother's prescription liquid methadone. A two-week investigation led to the arrest of Anna Highland for neglect of the 13-month-old, who is now in the custody of the Department of Children and Families -- along with a foster child who was also in the home. The 13-month-old is also suffering from partial blindness and is no longer able to crawl. Liquid methadone is often used to help heroin addicts because of the length of time it remains in the body. A Lee County Sheriff's Office arrest report indicates that's why Highland had the prescription. A Cape Coral doctor, Timothy Dougherty, said the drug can be deadly in children. The report says that Highland left it within reach of her son. When she found it on the ground near him, she called for her mother to come home but didn't call 911 until several hours later when the boy didn't wake from a nap. Highland paid her bond and is expected to be released from jail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Edith Re: Safe download locations Dear Webby How can one tell if a download location is safe? And what do I do if I get a warning from McAfee? Edith Dear Edith Google for the program you want. Usually the company that makes it, has a site. That is always the best location. If a program is hosted by a mirror site, only use the mirror listed on the program maker's site. Many popular programs are also listed on dubious mirrors and locations. Avoid those. Some mirror sites, that used to be good, like for example cnet.com, are heavily contaminated and best avoided. They don't check what they host and any crook can upload contaminated garbage. Tucows is still pretty good. They check a lot of the stuff that they list. Personally, I avoid publicly hosted programs. If a company can't afford $12 per year for a domain name and $10 a month for hosting, then they can't really be any good. If you do download from a faker, and McAfee throws up the big, red "WHOA!" screen, cancel the download, and delete what you have downloaded so far. Next scan your machine. Then write down the name of the mirror or URL, that tried to sleaze bad stuff onto your machine. Keep a list of places to avoid. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A Texan is bragging to a Rhode Islander. "In Texas," he drawls, "you can get on a train, ride all day long, and still be in Texas by nightfall." "Well", replies the Yankee, "We have some rather slow trains in Rhode Island too, but none that are THAT slow." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Dry Green Onions Inside Car I use a beer/Coke box flat that I get for free from the local store. Place the green onions (or other herbs and veggies) in the flat. Place in your car in the summer months and they dry in no time and perfectly. By Lacey K. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A little girl and her mother were out and about. The girl, out of the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?" The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older." The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?" Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up." The girl still wanting to know about her mother, then fires off another question, "Mommy, Why did you and daddy get divorced?" The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now." The little girl, frustrated, sulks until she is dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consults with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation. The girlfriend says, "All you have to do is sneak and look at your mother's driver's license. It's just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything." Later, the little girl and her mother are out and about again. The little girl starts off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old." The mother is very shocked. She asks, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?" The little girl shrugs and says, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds." "Where did you learn that?" The little girl says, "I just know. And I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an 'F' in sex." ___________________________________________________

competitive foursome
____________________________________________________ On a visit to Chicago, Jill was eager to visit a posh department store about a dozen blocks from their hotel. Her husband obligingly hailed a cab. They got in and he told the driver, "My wife wants to go to Neiman Marcus." The cabby looked over his shoulder at them and said, "And the gentleman? Does he want to go to the bank or the pawn shop?" ____________________________________________________
These artful three-dimensional cutouts with light behind them are so ethereal.

Today, October 3, in
1863 U.S. President Lincoln declared that the last Thursday 
 of November would be recognized as Thanksgiving Day. 
1893 The motor-driven vacuum cleaner was patented by Thurman. 
1901 The Victor Talking Machine Company was incorporated. 
 After a merger with Radio Corporation of America the company 
 became RCA-Victor. 
1906 W.T. Grant opened a 25-cent department store. 
1929 The Kingdom of Serbs, Croats and Slovenes officially 
 changed its name to the Kingdom of Yugoslavia. 
1932 Iraq was admitted into the League of Nations leading 
 Britain to terminate their mandate over the nation. Britain 
 had ruled Iraq since taking it from Turkey during World War I. 
1935 Italian forces invaded Abyssinia (now Ethiopia). 
1941 Adolf Hitler stated in a speech that Russia was "broken" 
 and they "would never rise again." 
1942 The Office of Economic Stabilization was established by 
 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. He also authorized 
 controls on rents, wages, salaries and farm prices. 
1944 During World War II, U.S. troops broke through the 
 Siegfried Line. 
1951 CBS-TV aired the first coast-to-coast telecast of a 
 prizefight. Dave Sands defeated Carl Olson at Soldier 
 Field in Chicago. 
1952 Britain became the third nuclear power in the world when 
 they successfully detonated their first atomic bomb. 
1955 "Captain Kangaroo" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1961 "The Dick Van Dyke Show" debuted on CBS-TV. 
1962 The Sigma VII blasted off from Cape Canaveral for a 
 nine-hour flight. 
1981 Irish Nationalists in Maze Prison in Belfast, Northern 
 Ireland called off their hunger strike. The strike had lasted 
 7 months and ten people had died. 
1988 The space shuttle Discovery landed safely after its 
 four-day mission. It was the first American shuttle mission 
 since the Challenger disaster. 
1989 East Germany suspended unrestricted travel to Czechoslovakia 
 in an effort to slow the flow of refugees to the West. 
1990 The Berlin Wall was dismantled eleven months after the borders 
 between East and West Germany were dissolved. The unification of 
 Germany ended 45 years of division. 
1990 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein made a visit to Kuwait since 
 his country had seized control of the oil-rich nation. 
1994 The headquarters of the Haitian pro-army militia was raided 
 by U.S. soldiers. 
2003 Ray Horn, of the duo "Siegfried & Roy," was attacked by a 
 tiger during a performance. Roy survived the attack after being 
 dragged offstage. The tiger, a 7-year-old male named Montecore, 
 was debuting in his first show. 
2006 North Korea announced that it would conduct a nuclear test 
 as a key step in the manufacture of atomic bombs that it viewed 
 as a deterrent against a U.S. attack. A date for the test was 
 not announced.
2015  smiled.


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Fake Open Office download 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, October 2
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh woman arrested after calling 911 to report drug deal rip-off Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 2, in 1835 The first battle of the Texas Revolution took place near the Guadalupe River when American settlers defeated a Mexican cavalry unit. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Seeing ourselves as others see us would probably confirm our worst suspicions about them. --- Franklin P. Adams (1881 - 1960) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Lissa went to see a psychiatrist about her husband (he wouldn't go with her). "Doctor, my husband, Kurt, has this problem. Almost every night now he's dreaming he's a refrigerator!" "My dear, that is not really a problem! A lot of people dream that they are somebody or something unusual..." Lissa leans forward as she softly whispers this confidence: "But you see doctor it is also a problem for me! Kurt sleeps with his mouth open and his little light keeps me awake!" ______________________________________________________ A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, "We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning." Her husband replied, "Well, lots of dogs can do that." The wife responded, "But we've never subscribed to any papers!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Clyde for this picture Good parking! ______________________________________________________ A little boy runs up to his mother and shouts, "Mommy! Mommy! I want to be a drummer when I grow up!" The mother sweetly replies, "You can't do BOTH." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Erin Klich, 36, Fort Myers, Floriduh
Floriduh woman arrested after calling 911 to report drug deal rip-off Angered that she had been shorted in a marijuana purchase, a Florida woman dialed 911 from outside her dealer's home to report being ripped off, a miscalculation that resulted in her arrest on a pair of criminal charges. Erin Klich, 36, told a cop that she “called the police because she was buying marijuana and was shorted by the people” inside a Fort Myers home. Klich, who works for a body armor manufacturer, called 911 early Friday evening. Klich reported that she sought to purchase a seven-gram bag of marijuana for $75, according to a probable cause statement. After a Fort Myers Police Department officer arrived at the scene, Klich was again on the phone with a 911 operator. The “loud and argumentative” Klich hung up the phone at the cop’s direction, but subsequently dialed 911 again. When warned by an officer that she was misusing the emergency dispatch system, Klich refused to hang up the phone, prompting her arrest. While cops waited for a female officer to arrive at the scene to search Klich, she was placed into the rear of a police cruiser. Upon Klich’s exit from the car, officers found a “clear plastic baggy containing suspect marijuana, lodged between the seat where Klich was sitting.” The pot weighed 5.4 grams, police noted. Seen above, Klich was charged with marijuana possession and misuse of the 911 system, both misdemeanors. She was released from jail Saturday after posting $2500 bond, and is scheduled for an October 13 court appearance.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Carol Re: Fake Open office Comment: On Thursday, October 1, 2015, 04:49 PM, Carol wrote: I just tried to download Open Office. McAfee issued a warning that there are PUPs included. I told it to download anyway and got another warning about a Trojan associated with the download. I had Open Office on another computer but not on this new one. Is there really a problem in downloading this program? Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us all. Carol King Dear Carol That would depend where you download it from. If you download it from https://www.openoffice.org/ it is safe. If you get it from ANYWHERE else, it is not. McAfee was right. You ignored it and downloaded some bad shit. Uninstall it, then delete the folder where you put it in, then run a full McAfee scan, and then a scan with Malwarebytes. The bad stuff is probably hidden somewhere else, that is why you have to scan everything, but since you downloaded it from somewhere else, it is not an official copy anyway, and best to get rid of it before you install the real one. Just for fun I downloaded the newest version and installed it. McAfee had absolutely no issues with it. Good Luck! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Our business professor was lecturing about different ways to bill customers. He asked, "Who can give me an example of a system where you are billed before you actually receive your goods?" One student piped up, "Tuition!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pumpkin Pancakes This time of year, there is so very much you can do with pumpkin. The scent and spices fill the house with warm aromas of wonderful baked goods. It is endless what you can do with pumpkin or pumpkin spices. Ingredients: 1/4 cup pumpkin purée 1 egg 1 cup milk 1 cup flour 1 Tbsp sugar (optional) 2 tsp baking powder 1 tsp cinnamon 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice 1 pinch nutmeg Steps: Whisk pumpkin and egg together until smooth. Add in remaining ingredients and whisk until smooth. Fry batches in a cast iron skillet for a tasty fall breakfast treat. Enjoy a nice fall treat treat! By Jackie H. [120] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The teacher asked if he knows his numbers. He said, "Yes, I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three?" asked the teacher. "Four," says . "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?" smiles and says, "A jack." ___________________________________________________

Holland's Got Talent - Almira Willihagen
____________________________________________________ A perfectionist teacher demands the very best of all of her pupils. So it is only to be expected that she would get furious when one little fellow hands in a sloppily done homework paper. "This is the worst essay it has been my misfortune to read," the woman says through clenched teeth. "It has so many mistakes. I can't understand how one person could have made all these mistakes." "It wasn't just one person," the boy replies defensively. "My mom helped me." ____________________________________________________
Wish I could dance that well!

Today, October 2, in
1492 King Henry VII of England invaded France. 
1780 British army major John Andre was hanged as a spy. 
 He was carrying information about the actions of 
 Benedict Arnold. 
1835 The first battle of the Texas Revolution took place 
 near the Guadalupe River when American settlers defeated 
 a Mexican cavalry unit. 
1836 Charles Darwin returned to England after 5 years of 
 acquiring knowledge around the world about fauna, flora, 
 wildlife and geology. He used the information to develop 
 his "theory of evolution" which he unveiled in his 1859 
 book entitled The Origin of Species by Means of Natural 
 Selection. 
1870 Rome was made the capital of Italy. 
1924 The Geneva Protocol adopted the League of Nations. 
1925 Scottish inventor John Logie Baird completed the 
 first transmission of moving images. 
1937 Warner Bros. released "Love Is on the Air." Ronald 
 Reagan made his acting debut in the motion picture. He 
 was 26 years old. 
1941 Operation Typhoon was launched by Nazi Germany. The 
 plan was an all-out offensive against Moscow. 
1944 The Nazis crushed the Warsaw Uprising. 
1947 The Federatino Internationale de l'Automobile (FIA) 
 formally established Formula One racing in Grand Prix 
 competition. 
1948 The first automobile race to use asphalt, cement and 
 dirt roads took place in Watkins Glen in New York. It was 
 the first road race in the U.S. following World War II. 
1950 "Peanuts," the comic strip created by Charles M. Schulz, 
 was published for the first time in seven newspapers. 
1958 Guinea, the French colony in West Africa, proclaimed 
 its independence. Sekou Toure was the first president of 
 the Republic of Guinea. 
1962 U.S. ports were closed to nations that allowed their 
 ships to carry arms to Cuba, ships that had docked in a 
 socialist country were prohibited from docking in the 
 United States during that voyage, and the transport of 
 U.S. goods was banned on ships owned by companies that 
 traded with Cuba. 
1988 Pakistan's Supreme Court ordered free elections. 
1989 In Leipzig, East Germany a protest took place 
 demanding the legalization of opposition groups and the 
 adoption of democratic reforms. 
1990 The Allies ceded their rights to areas they occupied 
 in Germany. 
1993 Opponents of Russian President Boris Yeltsin fought 
 police and set up burning barricades. 
1998 Hawaii sued petroleum companies, claiming state drivers 
 were overcharged by about $73 million a year in price-fixing. 
1998 About 10,000 Turkish soldiers crossed into northern Iraq 
 and attacked Kurdish rebels. 
2001 NATO, for the first time, invoked a treaty clause that 
 stated that an attack on one member is an attack on all 
 members. The act was in response to the September 11, 2001, 
 terrorist attacks in the United States. 
2015  smiled.


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How to change desktop icon size 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, October 1

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Ohio bank robbers arrested after they posed on Facebook with the cash. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, October 1, in 1979 The United States handed control of the Canal Zone over to Panama. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff. --- Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Goodman was a moderately successful stockbroker who dreamed of making the big money someday. He took his friend out for a drive, and he chose the route carefully in order to impress on him the possibilities of the brokerage business. "Look at that yacht," he said as they drove slowly past a marina. "That 96' beauty belongs to the senior partner at Merrill Lynch. That one over there 104' is owned by the head of Goldman, Sachs. And look at that huge 210' yacht out there. That's the pride and joy of the top seller at Prudential-Bache." His friend Morris was silent. Goodman turned to look at him and saw a pained look on his face. "What's the matter?" Goodman asked. "I was just wondering," Morris said. "why aren't there any customers' yachts?" ______________________________________________________ When a guy's printer began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job himself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?" "Actually, it is my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make a LOT more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Don for this picture Peggy's Cove, NS ______________________________________________________ Two city swingers were walking in the country when one of them spotted a bug walking across the road. "What kind of bug is that?" he asked his companion. The companion leaned over and looked at the bug. "It's a Lady bug." The first man looked at the bug again, then at his friend, and said: "Man, you sure got good eyes." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by John Mogan, 28, and Ashley Duboe, 24, Ashville, Ohio
Ohio bank robbers arrested after they posed on Facebook with the cash. A couple arrested this week for robbing an Ohio bank had posted photos to Facebook showing them posing with stacks of cash in the days following the crime, police report. John Mogan, 28, and Ashley Duboe, 24, are charged with the August 24 robbery of a bank in Ashville, a village 20 miles south of Columbus. Investigators allege that Mogan walked into the bank and gave a note demanding money to a teller, who then handed over cash. A surveillance photo shows the hoodie-wearing robber leaving the bank with a stack of currency in his hands. Mogan is a convicted felon who was just released from prison after serving about five years for robbing a bank in Lancaster, a city 20 miles east of Ashville. A female accomplice was also arrested in connection with Mogan's July 2010 robbery of a Fairfield National Bank branch. Mogan began serving a three-year parole term immediately following his July 19 release from an Ohio state lockup. The heavily tattooed Mogan has the phrases “Loyalty’s Thin” and “Betrayal’s Thick” on opposite cheeks. Investigators allege that prior to driving Mogan to the Ashville bank, Duboe applied makeup to his face and neck to cover numerous tattoos. According to police, four days after the bank robbery, Mogan--with fans of cash in each hand--and Duboe posted a Facebook photo showing them embracing. A “selfie” posted August 31 shows Mogan with a wad of bills in his mouth. The image prompted a relative to complain that the flush Mogan “didn't hook a brother up.” Referring to the loot, Mogan replied, “That's called a McStack.” He then noted that, “I got six bands bra real shit nigga,” before adding, “I'm doing rrree=aaaaalll) good.” Other photos posted to the Facebook page shared by Mogan and Duboe show Mogan pretending that the brick of cash is a phone, as well as his lunch. Mogan and Duboe, seen in the above mug shots, have each been charged with robbery and theft, both felonies, and are locked up in lieu of $250,000 bond in the Pickaway County jail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Marjorie Re: Desktop icon size Dear Webby How do I change the size of the icons on my desktop? I can't find any way to don that in the Control panel or anywhere. I don't want to change the resolultion. I want to keep that the way I got it. Thanks Marjorie Dear Marjorie There is probably some official and complicated method for doing that, but there is a sneaky way that ahs worked for many years: Click on an empty spot on the desktop Hold down CTRL SLOWLY roll the scroll wheel on the mouse one notch at a time away from you. That increases icon size. Turning the scroll wheel towards you while holding CTRL will shrink them. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A missionary heard about a native who had five wives. He paid a visit to the native's hut, and sure enough there were five wives. The two men sat outside the hut and talked. The missionery said "You are violating a law of God. Man can only have one wife, so you must go and tell four of those women that they can no longer live here or consider you their husband." The native thought a few moments, then said, "I'll wait here. You tell 'em." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Measuring Cup to Grease Baking Pans If you are using liquid oil in your recipe such as brownies, take the measuring cup that you used to measure the oil and turn it upside down in the baking pan while you are mixing the brownies. The oil will then pool in bottom of pan. Use your fingers or wax paper to coat the pan as your directions recommend. By JackieB [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ [a] The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. [c] Conclusion: Eat what you like. It's speaking English that kills you. That reminds me..... Because of the anti-smoking propaganda and restrictive laws, the percentage of the population that smokes has decreased. Now, if there was any relation between smoking and cancer, the percentage of people who get cancer should theoretically have decreased at exactly the same rate. It didn't. It INCREASED! OK, so what HAS increased at the same rate as cancer ? Taxes on tobacco products. Kinda makes you think, eh ? ___________________________________________________

biking the cliff
____________________________________________________ At a golf course, four men approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road and bike path fenced off on the left. The first golfer teed off and hooked the ball in that direction. But the ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path onto the road, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and was knocked back on to the fairway. As they all stood in silent amazement, one man finally asked him, "How on earth did you do that?" He shrugged his shoulders and said, "You have to know the bus schedule." ____________________________________________________
Fascinating baby animals in the womb.

Today, October 1, in
1569 The Duke of Norfolk was imprisoned by Britain's Queen 
 Elizabeth for trying to marry Mary the Queen of Scots. 
1800 Spain ceded the territory of Louisiana back to France. 
 Later the property would be purchased by the U.S. 
 effectively doubling its size. 
1880 Thomas Edison began the commercial production of 
 electric lamps at Edison Lamp Works in Menlo Park. 
1908 The Model T automobile was introduced by Henry Ford. 
 The purchase price of the car was $850. 
1918 Damascus was captured from the Turks during World War I 
 by a force made up of British and Arab forces. 
1936 General Francisco Franco was proclaimed the head of the 
 Spanish state. 
1938 German forces enter Czechoslovakia and seized control 
 of the Sudetenland. The Munich Pact had been signed two days 
 before. 
1940 The Pennsylvania Turnpike opened as the first toll 
 superhighway in the United States. 
1946 The International War Crimes Tribunal in Nuremberg 
 sentenced 12 Nazi officials to death. Seven others were 
 sentenced to prison terms and 3 were acquitted. 
1949 Mao Tse-tung raised the first flag of the People's 
 Republic of China when the communist forces had defeated 
 the Nationalists. The Nationalist forces fled to Taiwan. 
1962 Johnny Carson began hosting the "Tonight" show on 
 NBC-TV. He stayed with the show for 29 years. Jack Paar 
 was the previous host. 
1964 The Free Speech Movement was started at the University 
 of California at Berkeley. 
1968 "Night of the Living Dead" premiered in Pittsburgh, PA. 
1971 Walt Disney World opened in Orlando, FL. 
1972 The Chinese government approved friendly relations with 
 the United States. 
1979 The United States handed control of the Canal Zone over 
 to Panama. 
1982 EPCOT (Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow) Center 
 opened in Florida. The concept was planned by Walt Disney. 
1985 The PLO's headquarters in Tunisia was raided by Israeli 
 jet fighters. 
1988 Mikhail Gorbachev assumed the Soviet presidency. 
1989 The authorized Charles Schulz biography, Good Grief, 
 was published. 
1989 7,000 East Germans were welcomed into West Germany 
 after they were allowed to leave by the communist government. 
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush addressed the U.N. General 
 Assembly and once again condemned Iraq's takeover of Kuwait. 
1990 In Croatia, minority Serbs proclaimed autonomy. 
1991 U.S. President Bush condemned the military coup in Haiti 
 that removed President Jean-Bertrand Aristide from power. 
 U.S. economic and military aid was suspended. 
1991 The U.S. trust territory of Palau became independent. 
1992 The Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty was approved by 
 the U.S. Senate. 
1994 The U.S. and Japan avoided a trade war by reaching a 
 series of trade agreements. 
1994 The National Hockey League (NHL) team owners began a 
 lockout of the players that lasted 103 days. 
1995 Sheik Omar Abdel-Rahman and nine other defendants were 
 convicted in New York of conspiring to attack the U.S. 
 through bombings, kidnappings and assassinations. 
1996 Lucent Technologies became an independent company. 
1998 The U.S. government posted a $2.2 million reward for the 
 capture of Augustin Vasquez Mendoza. He is accused of killing 
 an undercover U.S. agent during a drug purchase in 1994. 
1999 The 50th anniversary of the founding of the Peoples 
 Republic of China was celebrated in Beijing. 
2001 San Francisco's Board of Supervisors voted unanimously 
 to ban Internet filters designed to keep pornography away 
 from children at city libraries. The board left the decision 
 up to the Library Commission to decide whether to install 
 filtering software in children's areas. A federal law in the 
 U.S. mandated the use of the filters. 
2009 In the United Arab Emirates, the exterior construction of 
 the Burj Khalifa skyscraper was completed
2015  smiled.


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How many copies of Open Office before you have to pay? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, September 30.

Thanks to Noella for the info about the Dallas photographer:

Here's the photographer & his web site
"Looking Up" by Mike Mezeul II
https://mikemezphotography.smugmug.com/Night-Sky/i-KpRzTb5/A
September 27 at 10:59 p.m.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man arrested for tossing 'deadly urine' at cop Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, September 30, in 1399 Henry Bolingbroke became the King of England as Henry IV. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) The principal mark of genius is not perfection but originality, the opening of new frontiers. -- Arthur Koestler ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure He's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and He is always ready to help you when you need Him," she said. The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?" ______________________________________________________ A New Yorker was being shown around the back country of Louisiana by his cousin. "Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?" he asked. The cousin smirked, "Depends on how fast ya carry it." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Nancy doesn't go to church much anymore. She's a Seventh Day Absentist. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Alfonsa Loftin, of West Palm Beach, 40, West Palm Beach, Floriduh
Florida man arrested for tossing 'deadly urine' at cop A Florida man is behind bars after being accused of tossing a liter of "deadly urine" at a police officer. Alfonsa Loftin, of West Palm Beach, was arrested Tuesday morning after a Palm Beach County deputy responded to a call at his house. When the officer knocked on the 40-year-old man's door, the suspect allegedly greeted him with a big splash of urine from a liter bottle, according to the Palm Beach Post. It is unclear who — or what — supplied the urine. Police are describing the pee as a "deadly weapon" because urine can cause respiratory infections or permanent bodily harm, according to the report. Loftin then barricaded himself in his house for several hours. Police tried unsuccessfully for several hours to get Loftin to surrender before they kicked a hole in his door and shot him with a stun gun. Police attempted to arrest Loftin, but the 6-foot, 3-inch, 300-pound suspect allegedly resisted by kicking, flailing and tossing more urine, according to WPBF.com. Police said Loftin threw the open one-liter bottle at deputies before grabbing a K-9 officer by the head. That is probably when they tenderized him. They don't like it at all when somebody touches their K-9. Loftin was arrested on two counts of aggravated battery on a police officer and two counts of resisting an officer with violence. He remains in the Palm Beach County Jail on $36,000 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Elsinore Re: How many copies of Open Office are legal? Dear Webby How many copies of Open Office can a company have, before they have to strart paying? Elsinore Dear Elsinore One Gazillion, I think. There is no limit. Open Office uses the Open Standard and is totally free and unlimited. You can have as many copies on as many computers as you want, all networked together and/or separate. Open Office is free. Period. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ His wife phoned Abe in the office and said: "Darling, come home early, we are going to have my mother for dinner." "Good" replied Abe, "make sure she's well BBQd". ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Salt Clay This clay is really cool. It is way cheaper than the stuff at the hobby shops! If you add alum, it will eventually harden on its own. If not, you can bake it and you are ready to paint your project and display it. Have fun! Approximate Time: a few minutes Yield: 1 large ball Supplies: 1 1/2 cup salt 4 cups white flour 1 1/2 cup warm water, more if needed 1 tsp alum, for self hardening, optional Steps: Put your salt and flour in a large bowl. Mix well. Add your water, mix well. Turn out onto the table and this is what you should have. I added about 6 tablespoons more water. Whatever you do, add it gradually. Too much water will ruin your clay. Knead till smooth, smiley face optional. If you have added alum, simply leave your project out in the open air and it will eventually harden. If not, bake small shapes in a 300 degree F oven for 30-40 minutes, or until hard. Store unused clay in an airtight container. Source: Little Hands art book By melissa [191] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ While my son was on board the Navy carrier USS GEORGE WASHINGTON, the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd." The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing, "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We awe hunting submaweenes." ___________________________________________________

ferry docking in Greece
____________________________________________________ In America the late night news used to broadcast this message: "It's 11 o'clock. Do you know where your children are? In Canada they say: "It's 11 o'clock. Do you kow where the beer is?" In England they say: "Its 11 o'clock. Do you know where your wife is? In France they say "It's 11o'clock. Do you know where your husband is?" In Afghanistan they say:" Its 11 o'clock do you know what time it is?" ____________________________________________________
These pilots are pretty awesome.

Today, Sept 30, in
1399 Henry Bolingbroke became the King of England as Henry IV. 
1777 The Congress of the United States moved to York, PA, due 
 to advancing British forces. 
1787 The Columbia left Boston and began the trip that would 
 make it the first American vessel to sail around the world. 
1846 Dr. William Morton performed a painless tooth extraction 
 after administering ether to a patient. 
1868 Spain's Queen Isabella was deposed and fled to France. 
1882 In Appleton, WI, the world's first hydroelectric power 
 plant began operating. 
1935 "The Adventures of Dick Tracey" debuted on Mutual Radio Network. 
1935 "Porgy and Bess" premiered in Boston. 
1938 The Munich Conference ended with a decision to appease Adolf Hitler. Britain, and France allowed Czechoslovakia's German speaking 
 Sudetenland to be annexed by the Nazis and returned to Germany. 
1946 An international military tribunal in Nuremberg, Germany, 
 found 22 top Nazi leaders guilty of war crimes. 
1949 The Berlin Airlift came to an end. The airlift had taken 
 2.3 million tons of food into the western sector despite the 
 Soviet blockade. 
1951 "The Red Skelton Show" debuted on NBC-TV. 
1954 The U.S. Navy commissioned the Nautilus submarine at 
 Groton, CT. It was the first atomic-powered vessel. The 
 submarine had been launched on January 21, 1954. 
1963 The Soviet Union publicly declared itself on the side 
 of India in their dispute with Pakistan over Kashmir. 
1966 Albert Speer and Baldur von Schirach were released at 
 midnight from Spandau prison after completing their 
 20-year sentences. Speer was the Nazi minister of armaments 
 and von Schirach was the founder of Hitler Youth. 
1971 A committee of nine people was organized to investigate 
 the prison riot at Attica, NY. 10 hostages and 32 prisoners 
 were killed when National Guardsmen stormed the prison on 
 September 13, 1971. 
1976 California enacted the Natural Death Act of California. 
 The law was the first example of right-to-die legislation 
 in the U.S. 
1980 Israel issued its new currency, the shekel, to replace 
 the pound. 
1983 The first AH-64 Apache attack helicopter was rolled 
 out by McDonnell Douglas Helicopter Company. 
1982 "Cheers" began an 11-year run on NBC-TV. 
1989 Thousands of East Germans began emigrating under an 
 accord between the NATO nations and the Soviet Union. 
1989 Non-Communist Cambodian guerrillas claimed that they 
 had captured 3 towns and 10 other positions from the r
 esiding government forces. 
1990 The Soviet Union and South Korea opened diplomatic relations. 
1991 Haiti's first freely elected president, Jean-Bertrand 
 Aristide, was overthrown by Brigadier General Raoul Cedras. 
 Aristide was later returned to power. 
1992 Moscow banks distributed privatization vouchers aimed at 
 turning millions of Russians into capitalists. 
1993 U.S. chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Colin Powell 
 retired. 
1994 The space shuttle Endeavor took off on an 11-day mission. 
 Part of the mission was to use a radar instrument to map remote 
 areas of the Earth. 
1997 France's Roman Catholic Church apologized for its silence 
 during the persecution and deportation of Jews the pro-Nazi 
 Vichy regime. 
1999 In Tokaimura, Japan, radiation escaped a nuclear facility 
 after workers accidentally set off an uncontrolled nuclear 
 chain reaction. 
2014 Amazon filed for a patent for a UAV (unmanned aerial 
 vehicle) configured to autonomously deliver items to customers. 
 The patent was related to Amazon's plan for their Prime Air 
 service. 
2015  smiled.


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How to revert Skype from 7 to a better version 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Tuesday, September 29.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Pennsylvania girl, 16, who doused school guards with gasoline, then tried to set them on fire Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, September 29, in 1962 U.S. President John F. Kennedy nationalized the Mississippi National guard in response to city officials defying federal court orders. The orders had been to enroll James Meredith at the University of Mississippi. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong. --- Mo Udall ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Manhattan Commuter train was packed. Suddenly there was a jingle on the floor. Most necks were craned. One elderly gentleman, however, bent down and picked something up. He then asked, "Did anyone drop a half dollar?" "I did," answered three men at once. "Well," said the elderly gent with a smile, "here's a dime of it." ______________________________________________________ >From Lillemor For those of my older generation (like me) who do not really comprehend the need for Facebook: Presently, I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell the passers-by what I have eaten, how I feel, what I have done the night before, and what I will do tomorrow. Then, I give them pictures of my family, my dog, me gardening, and spending time in my pool. I also listen to their conversations, and I tell them I love them. And, it works. I already have three persons following me ... two police officers and a psychiatrist ______________________________________________________ Tim Durkan Photography From Tim: It's been a long but exciting night that I'm just getting home from! Lugging 40lbs of gear around town, months of planning and a TON of good luck weather wise finally paid off! For those interested - the photo I shared is one shot (non layered) taken on a Nikon D750 body with 200-400mm telephoto lens. I had 4 cameras, 4 lenses, 4 tripods and a VERY good assistant tonight THANK YOU Brother Paul Stevenson! Nikon And here is Dallas, sent in by SexySassySatin No name of the photographer yet. Dallas After spending 5 hours on a rooftop with an incredible view of Dallas, the photographer was able to create this composite image showing the moons transition from full moon, to full lunar eclipse, and back. Each moon image was shot approximately 10 minutes apart to capture the entire transition. Shot on a Nikon D810 #Nikon ______________________________________________________ Charlie followed the Priest before the next race. Again, the Priest went to the stables and blessed another horse. Charlie quickly put two dollars on that horse and won close to fifty bucks! The Priest kept blessing horses and Charlie kept betting on them and they won! The last race of the day was the biggest and Charlie saw the Priest with that horse, also! He quickly went to his bank and withdrew his life's savings of $20,000, went back to the racetrack and put it all on that horse! He watched the race in certain anticipation of leaving a millionaire! The horse was last to cross the line and Charlie was dead broke! He couldn't believe what happened so he went looking for the Priest. He found the man and asked, "What happened to that last horse you blessed? Because your blessing didn't work, I've lost all of my money!" The Priest said, "That's the trouble with you Protestants. You can't tell the difference between a blessing and the Last Rites!" ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Imani Knight-Brantley, 16, Wilkinsburg, Pennsylvania
Girl, 16, doused school guards with gasoline, then tried to set them on fire A Pennsylvania girl doused school security guards with gasoline and then attempted to light the victims on fire, according to investigators who have charged the teen with numerous felonies. In retaliation for a run-in last week with a guard, Imani Knight-Brantley, 16, returned Monday to her Pittsburgh-area high school carrying a two-liter Sprite bottle containing gasoline. According to police, Knight-Brantley was booted from Wilkinsburg High School Friday after being caught using a cell phone in class. She later returned to get food at an after-school program, but was again escorted from the building by guard Brandon Murray. As she was being removed the second time, Knight-Brantley threw a milk carton at Murray. As detailed in a criminal complaint, Knight-Brantley confronted Murray upon returning to the school Monday. Police allege that she splashed gasoline on Murray and a second security official. As the guards grappled with Knight-Brantley, she tried to ignite the gasoline with an outdoor grill lighter. After police arrived to arrest Knight-Brantley, students were evacuated due to the smell of gasoline throughout the school. According to court records, Knight-Brantley faces four counts of aggravated assault and causing or risking catastrophe, both felonies. She is also charged with misdemeanor weapons possession and reckless endangerment counts. Knight-Brantley, who has been charged as an adult, is being held in the Allegheny County jail in lieu of $100,000 bond. As seen in the above booking photo, the teen has the word “Love” tattooed on her neck. Pennsylvania law bars anyone under the age of 18 from being tattooed, unless the minor’s parent or guardian has consented to the inking and is present for the tattooing.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Annamarie Re: Skype Dear Webby I was really careful to always refuse to Update Skype to Version 7.0 after I had seen it on my daughter's computer. 7.0 stinks! But today they somehow snuck it in. I had too many tabs open on Chrome, and McAfee was doing a scan, and I had too many programs open. The machine almost crashed, and while I was frantically tryiing to close stuff, they sleazed in their update in the background. Bastids! As you may have noticed, once a Skype update has started, the bastids won't let you cancel or stop it. So I wound up with the ugly and slow 7.0 Yuck! I tried running the carefully saved 6.20 setup, but it bombed with the message that I had a newer version installed. @#$%&!!! Now what? Annamarie Dear Annamarie I found that uninstalling Skype does not mess up the history or the contact list, but it is best to save it anyway. Hit the Windows key and R to get the RUN field above the START. Type or paste: %appdata% You see a huge mess of folders and files about all kinds of programs, including Skype CTRL-drag the Skype folder onto a camera chip or removable drive, where Microsoft can't touch it. You can CTRL-drag it onto the desktop, and from there onto a save place. Once your data is safe, do the Windows key and R trick again and this type paste appwiz.cpl That gets you to Programs, Uninstall in the Control panel without mousing around. Highlight Skype, right-click and select Uninstall. It will whine a bit but eventually 7.0 will go away. Don't worry if the desktop icons will all go blank during that. They will come back. Once everything has settled down, you can run the 6.20 installation and normally all your contacts and history will come back. If they don't, copy the back-up back to where you got them from. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Amazing! Even Hillary doesn't need that many gunslingers protecting her! ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Your Concrete Patio Look Like Brick I painted the entire patio with a grey porch/patio paint and was not happy with the look. So I next used narrow masking tape to tape off the brick pattern. I then used a red brick color and an old paintbrush to paint the bricks (I mixed a little black acrylic paint with the red to make it look more authentic). It has worn fairly well and only needed a few touch ups each summer. I love the way my patio looks now and it sure beats the cost of installing brick pavers! By Marianne from Trenton, Ohio You can mix old-fashioned Poly-Filler into the Porch/Patio paint. It makes it less slippery when wet, and MUCH more durable. Don't use any of the soft drywall repair compunds. You need REAL Poly-Filler or Poly-Filla. You can apply it with a large puddle moover squeegee. The small ridges you might wind up with make it look even better. If some of the squeegee ridges are too high, you can sand them with a belt sander. That is when you find out that the porch-patio paint / Poly-Filler combo gets as hard as concrete. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for quite some time now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any more." Alarmed by what was being said, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, I personally placed an order for them just a couple of days ago." Then the manager drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way. Now, what was it she asked if we had any?" "Rapes in the parking lot." ___________________________________________________

ferry docking in Greece
____________________________________________________ During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb. When Bubba asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him. "Does your dog have a license?" he asked. "No way," Bubba said, "Ol' Blue don't need none. He's getting too shortsighted fer doin' the drivin'." ____________________________________________________
Some of these weird history facts I didn't know.

Today, Sept 29, in
1789 A regular army was established by the U.S. War Department 
 with several hundred men. 
1829 The first public appearance by London's re-organized police 
 force was met with jeers from political opponents. The force 
 became known as Scotland Yard. 
1930 Lowell Thomas made his debut on CBS Radio. He was in the 
 radio business for the next 46 years. 
1943 U.S. Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower and Italian Marchal Pietro 
 Badoglio signed an armistice aboard the British ship Nelson. 
1946 "The Adventures of Sam Spade" debuted on CBS Radio. 
1962 U.S. President John F. Kennedy nationalized the Mississippi 
 National guard in response to city officials defying federal 
 court orders. The orders had been to enroll James Meredith 
 at the University of Mississippi. 
1963 "My Favorite Martian" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1967 The International Monetary Fund reformed monetary systems 
 around the world. 
1977 Eva Shain became the first woman to officiate a heavyweight 
 title boxing match. About 70 million people watched Muhammad Ali 
 defeat Ernie Shavers on NBC-TV. 
1982 In Chicago, IL, seven people died after taking capsules of 
 Extra-Strength Tylenol that had been laced with cyanide. 
 264,000 bottles were recalled. 
1983 The War Powers Act was used for the first time by the U.S. 
 Congress when they authorized President Reagan to keep U.S. 
 Marines in Lebanon for 18 more months. 
1984 Irish officials announced that they had intercepted the 
 Marita Anne carrying seven tons of U.S.-purchased weapons. 
 The weapons were intended for the Irish Republican Army. 
1984 Elizabeth Taylor was voted to be the world's most 
 beautiful woman in a Louis Harris poll. Taylor was at the 
 time in the Betty Ford Clinic overcoming a weight problem. 
1988 The space shuttle Discovery took off from Cape Canaveral 
 in Florida. It was the first manned space flight since the 
 Challenger disaster. 
1990 "Millie's Book" by First Lady Barbara Bush was the 
 best-selling non-fiction book in the U.S. 
1992 Brazilian lawmakers overwhelmingly voted to impeach 
 President Fernando Collor de Mello. 
1993 Bosnia's parliament voted overwhelmingly to reject an 
 international peace plan unless Bosnian Serbs returned land 
 that had been taken by force. 
1994 The U.S. House voted to end the practice of lobbyists 
 buying meals and entertainment for members of Congress. 
2008 The Dow Industrial Average lost 777 points. It was the 
 largest one-day decline to date. The drop came after the U.S. 
 House of Representatives had voted down a $700 billion bank 
 bailout plan. 
2010 In China, Canton Tower became operational. 
2015  smiled.


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IP-TV 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, September 28.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man arrested for bigamy announced in church, while wife #1 was present. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, September 26, in 1978 Heavy fighting occurred in Lebanon between Syrian peacekeeping troops and Lebanese Christian militiamen. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ The best way out is always through. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963) When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both. --- Al Franken, ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ One evening a man was very impressed with the meat entree his wife had served. "What did you marinate this in?" he asked. His wife immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loves him and how life wouldn't be the same without him, etc. Eventually, his puzzled expression made her interrupt her answer with a question of her own, " What did you ask me?" She chuckled at his answer and explained, "I thought you asked me if I would marry you again!" As she left the room, he called out, "Well, would you marry me again?" Without hesitation, she said, "Vinegar and barbecue sauce." ______________________________________________________ The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied, he continued on for another twenty minutes, repeating his question. This time he received a response of eighty percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for fifteen more minutes and repeated his question. With thoughts of Sunday dinner, all responded except one older gentleman in the rear. "Mr. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any," replied Mr. Jones. "Mr. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Eighty six," was the reply. "Mr. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a man can live to eighty six and not have an enemy in the world." The old man teetered down the aisle and slowly turned around. "It's easy. I outlived all them rotten no-good sumbeeches!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ At long last the good-humoured boss was compelled to call Fisk into his office. "It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium you have to take your aunt to the doctor." "You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Fisk. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking it, do you?" ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Noella for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Patrick Celicourt 49, Pine Hills, Floriduh
Florida man arrested for bigamy announced in church, while wife #1 was present. She was at church when she found out. The pastor, standing at the altar in front of everyone, announced her husband, Patrick Celicourt, had married another woman. With the congregation laughing, Mitha Plaisimond ran from the church and started researching. The 57-year-old showed up at the Orange County Sheriff's Office a few days later with copies of the old, and new marriage licenses in hand. Celicourt, 49, is now facing charges of bigamy and making false official statements, records show. He was arrested Wednesday on a warrant and booked into the Orange County Jail. He has since been released on bail. Celicourt and the other woman applied for a marriage license in March, records show. Plaisimond found out in April when the pastor announced the new marriage at the End Time Sabbath Worship Center near Pine Hills where she regularly attended. "When it became time for the announcements on the altar, they announced that my father 'Patrick Celicourt' was newly married to another woman while still being married," the couple's daughter wrote in a Sheriff's Office report. Records show the couple, originally from Haiti, had been married for more than 21 years, have children together and own a home in northwest Orange County. Plaisimond told deputies Celicourt tried to sell the house without her knowing. She had documents to prove that, too. Celicourt filed for a divorce in June, records show. Plaisimond and two of the couple's children filed domestic violence injunctions against Celicourt following the marriage announcement, but each was denied. It is unclear if the pastor knew Celicourt and Plaisimond were still married when the announcement was made.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Eddie Re: IP-TVbox Dear Webby Hi Mr. Webby; Well I went out and bought a "Roku media box" only to see that it was just a bunch of apps that wants you to rent from them - and the so call free movies - were something back from the 50's that no one wants to see - i mean this was soooo bogus - i disconnected this and took it back the next day! Ok, so now I bought a "IP - Tv" box and hooked it up yesterday and got into it - it has a "Ubuntu OS" base system with apps - along with an android system. I like this better than that roku box - now I have a question for you - do you know how to tell what you bought (like a windows computer) - I mean in windows you can right click the monitor icon and it will tell you what the specs are - and or is there a bios in this media box? - I am new to this - so I just want to know if I got what it said! Here is the link on what I bought - IP-TV Box Eddie Dear Eddie I don't think that is computer related, and I don't have a clue about it. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An old farmer went to town to see a movie. The ticket girl said, "Sir, what is that on your shoulder?" The old farmer said, "That is my pet rooster, Chuckie. Wherever I go, Chuckie goes." "I'm sorry, Sir," said the ticket girl, "We can't allow animals in the theater. Not even a pet chicken." The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed the chicken down his pants. He returned to the booth, bought a ticket and entered the theater. He sat down next to two old emergency room nurses named Mildred and Marge. The movie started and the chicken began to squirm. The old farmer unzipped his pants so Chuckie could stick his head out and watch the movie. "Marge," whispered Mildred. "What?" said Marge. "I think the guy next to me is a pervert." "What makes you think so?" asked Marge. "He unzipped his pants and he has his thing out," whispered Mildred. "Well, don't worry about it," said Marge, "At our age we've seen them all." "Yes," said Mildred, "But this one's eating my popcorn!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Ramen Noodle Flavor Packets I empty the packets into clean salt shakers, using each flavour separately. That way, you can use a little to add a bit of spice to many dishes. I pick up shakers at yard sales, so no extra cost! By Faye Dutkiewicz [6] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Fall camping tips: To win the race for fastest set-up on multi-family camping trips, tell your kids that NOBODY gets to go to the outhouse until all your tents are set up and the stuff moved into them. When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant. When using a public campground, a violin or viola placed on your picnic table will mysteriously dissappear, and some nearby camp fire will burn extra hot. Wires as used for "strings" on many stringed instruments such as violas make excellent snare wire for catching rabbits, squirrels and night-time raiders of your beer cache. When smoking a fish, don't inhale. A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. Hot enchiladas or pizzas do NOT work. After they permanently melt into your sleeping bag, you will have a permanent cold spot in that location. Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match. If you set up a tent to be sheltered from the wind while ice-fishing, do NOT sleep in that tent. Somebody will get up at night and step into the hole. Extracting a foot with a sprained ankle firmly wedged into the hole in the ice tends to cause foul language that scares the fish away. If a family member has borrowed your ice auger to drill a fence post hole, it is a good idea to mark and identify that auger with a hack-saw by cutting it into little bitty pieces. That is best done cool and calm, before you carry it up to that mountain lake. Salmon eggs in little pouches made from old pantyhose work better for ice fishing than any other bait or lure, and if you don't get permission to use some bits of pantyhose, remember that salmon eggs are just deluxe caviar at one tenth the cost, and are great with devilled eggs. Building a fire in the dry spot under a tree with overhanging branches is a dumb idea, either the snow will slide off and put your fire out, or the tree will catch on fire. Putting your tent under a tree is also a bad idea, especially in the rain. A tent will shed rain, but the slow, fat drops coming from a tree will spray through and slowly dampen your sleeping bag. Also, a tree will continue to drip long after the rain has stopped. You can compress the diameter of a rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car. Tempting as it may be to "just-do-it", it IS considered good manners to tell your mother-in-law to get out of her sleeping bag before that procedure. ___________________________________________________

best of talking animals
____________________________________________________ A burglar went to the bank and pointed a gun on the cashier and said, "Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!" The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say HISTORY." The burglar answered, "Dangit, don't change the *subject*!" ____________________________________________________
Be careful, don't fall! 3D street art that looks so real.

Today, Sept 28, in
1066 England was invaded by William the Conqueror who claimed 
 the English throne. 
1542 San Diego, CA, was discovered by Portuguese navigator 
 Juan Rodriguez Cabrillo. 
1687 The Turks surrendered Athens to the Venetians. 
1781 During the Revolutionary War, American forces began the 
 siege on Yorktown, VA. 
1850 The U.S. Navy abolished flogging as a form of punishment. 
1850 U.S. President Millard Fillmore named Brigham Young the 
 first governor of the Utah territory. In 1857, U.S. President 
 James Buchanan removed Young from the position. 
1892 The first nighttime football game in the U.S. took place 
 under electric lights. The game was between the Mansfield State 
 Normal School and the Wyoming Seminary. 
1915 The British defeated the Turks in Mesopotamia at 
 Kut-el-Amara. 
1924 The first around-the-world flight was completed by two 
 U.S. Army planes when they landed in Seattle, WA. The trip 
 took 175 days. 
1939 During World War II, Germany and the Soviet Union agreed 
 upon a plan on the division of Poland. 
1955 The World Series was televised in color for the first time. 
 The game was between the New York Yankees and the Brooklyn Dodgers. 
1967 The first black mayor of Washington, DC, Walter Washington, 
 took office. 
1972 Communist China and Japan agreed to re-establish diplomatic 
 relations. 
1978 Heavy fighting occurred in Lebanon between Syrian 
 peacekeeping troops and Lebanese Christian militiamen. 
1978 Don Sherman, editor of Car & Driver, set a new Class E 
 record in Utah. Driving the Mazda RX7 he reached a speed of 
 183.904 mph. 
1990 The Game Boy handheld video game device was released 
 in Europe. 
1991 In response to U.S. President Bush's reduction of U.S. 
 nuclear arms Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev promised 
 to reciprocate. 
1995 Yasser Arafat of the PLO and Israeli Prime Minister 
 Yitzhak Rabin signed an accord that transferred control 
 of the West Bank. 
1997 The 103rd convention of the Audio Engineering Society 
 (AES) was held in New York City, NY. The official debut of 
 the DVD format was featured. 
2000 The U.S. Federal Drug Administration approved the use 
 of RU-486 in the United States. The pill is used to induce 
 an abortion. 
2004 Nate Olive and Sarah Jones arrived at the U.S.-Mexico 
 border to complete the first known continuous hike of the 
 1,800-mile trail down the U.S. Pacific Coast. They started 
 the trek on June 8. 
2015  smiled.


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Is W10 a security risk ? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, September 27.

The wind changed to NorthWest and the skies cleared. Now
the moon is super bright and sharp as a steet light. It is
now too bright to see the craters and mountains, just a
very bright button, and appearing smaller than yesterday's
big, slightly fuzzy harvest moon. 
Still pretty out, but a definite fall chill in the air.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man, who was arrested for assaulting girlfriend when she read ex-boyfriend's obituary Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, September 26, in 1825 George Stephenson operated the first steam locomotive that hauled a passenger train. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) "If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if YOU can use either one, it's a miracle." --- Jack Adams ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ We apologise for the error in the last edition, in which we stated that 'Mr Fred Nicolme is a Defective in the Police Force'. This was a typographical error. We meant of course that Mr Nicolme is a Detective in the Police Farce. ______________________________________________________ In a small town, farmers of the community had gotten together to discuss some important issues. About midway through the meeting, a wife of one of the farmers stood up and spoke her piece. One of the old farmers stood up and said, "What does she know about anything? I would like to ask her if she even knows how many toes a pig has?" Quick as a flash, the woman replied, "Take off your boots Jake, and count them yourself!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?" The father thought for a moment, then replied, "I Don't rightly know, son." The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, "How do fish breath underwater?" Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know, son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?" Again, the father replied. "Don't rightly know, son." Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?" "Of course not son. If you don't ask questions,... you'll never learn anything!" ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Don for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jason Tackett, 38, Bradenton, Floriduh
Florida man arrested for assaulting girlfriend when she read ex-boyfriend's obituary A Florida man was arrested after he assaulted and strangled his live-in girlfriend. He is evidently the most jealous and insecure boyfriend who ever lived. Police say 38-year-old Jason Tackett went crazy because his girlfriend was reading her ex-boyfriend's obituary on her phone. Apparently feeling a little jealous and upset about possibly losing her to a dead ex, Tackett flew into a rage and "began tearing the house apart.” He then threw the woman to the floor and held his hands over her mouth and nose, leaving her unable to breathe. Neighbors called police. Tackett was arrested for domestic battery by strangulation. He was released on $10,000 bail and ordered to stay away from the woman.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Faye Re: Is W10 a security problem? Dear Webby Is it true that W10 is a huge security and privacy problem? Faye Dear Faye From what I have read, security is not too bad. Considering how China has obtained and sold the bank and tax info and the fingerprints of 50 Million federal employees, by comparison W10 is actually not bad. The word from above is that when you install W10 your should not accept ANY defaults, and select "Customize" whenever you get a chance. The defaults apparently are an open barn door. The same applies to Privacy. Sure, Microsoft collects any and all data from your weight to your bra size and/or inserts, and of course your spending habits. Relax, they don't personally look at your data and discuss them during company committee meetings or coffee breaks. With Billions of victims, that would be totally impossible. They just collect the data and make pretty graphs. The graphs show that female W10 victims average bra size is 32 B and spending habits are 104% of her income. Of course they also list shoe buying preferences. Yeah, so what? Sure they sell that info to anybody and everybody in marketing anywhere in the world. They do not indentify you. While some people get annoyed about browser ads gluing to previous searches, for example if you search for Flax seeds, then all of a sudden the ads are related to flax seeds, even if you already found a distributor and bought a big bag full. That is just your search engine trying to be helpful. Again, there is nobody recording what YOU searched for, as long as you stay off certain topics, that the Feds require notification about. Currently those topics are: Explosives, ISIS, terrorism and Child Porn. However, even with those topics, they just record your enails and browsing. As long as you don't actually DO anything bad, nobody looks at it. Remember the Boston Marathon bombers? The CIA and the FBI DID have all their data, and it helped them to catch their associates, but it took the feds a month to actually read and analyze the recorded data. And those were supposedly high profile evildoers! As long as you don't get caught with anything really evil, nobody will look at your data. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Baseball in the Bible? It all started "In the Big Inning." Eve stole first. Adam stole second. Abraham made a sacrifice. Jacob struck out. The prodigal son made a home run. Everybody played baseball until the fall of the Roam Umpire. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Rubbing Alcohol for Cleaning Hard Water Spots I was having trouble getting water spots off my windows until my neighbor suggested using alcohol. I used 91% rubbing alcohol from the drugstore that I already had in the house and paper towels. I didn't even have to scrub. The spots came off like magic. By Karen B. [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, "Marian, Marian!" Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, "You shouldn't call me 'Marian.' I'm your mother, you know." "I know," said the child, "but the store is full of mothers." ___________________________________________________

alien song - an oldie
____________________________________________________ Trishia is five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After she had a minor accident, her sister accompanied her to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for her height and weight, and she blurted out, "Five-foot-nine, 125 pounds." While the nurse pondered over this information, her sister leaned over to her. "Trishia," she gently chided, "This is not the Internet." ____________________________________________________
Pilots do know how to party!

Today, Sept 26, in
1779 John Adams was elected to negotiate with the British over 
 the American Revolutionary War peace terms. 
1825 George Stephenson operated the first steam locomotive that 
 hauled a passenger train. 
1928 The U.S. announced that it would recognize the Nationalist 
 Chinese Government. 
1938 The League of Nations branded the Japanese as aggressors 
 in China. 
1939 After 19 days of resistance, Warsaw, Poland, surrendered 
 to the Germans after being invaded by the Nazis and the 
 Soviet Union during World War II. 
1940 The Berlin-Rome-Tokyo Axis was set up. The military and 
 economic pact was for 10 years between Germany, Italy and 
 Japan. 
1962 The U.S. sold Hawk anti-aircraft missiles to Israel. 
1968 The U.K.'s entry into the European Common Market was 
 barred by France. 
1970 "The Original Amateur Hour" aired for the last time 
 on CBS. It had been on television for 22 years. 
1982 Italian and French soldiers entered the Sabra and 
 Chatilla refugee camps in Beirut. The move was made by 
 the members of a multinational force due to hundreds of 
 Palestinians being massacred by Christian militiamen. 
1989 Columbia Pictures Entertainment agreed to buyout Sony 
 Corporation for $3.4 billion. 
1989 Two men went over the 176-foot-high Niagara Falls in 
 a barrel. Jeffrey Petkovich and Peter Debernardi were the 
 first duo to ever survive the Horshoe Falls. 
1990 The deposed emir of Kuwait addressed the U.N. General 
 Assembly and denounced the "rape, destruction and terror" 
 that Iraq had inflicted upon his country. 
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush eliminated all land-
 based tactical nuclear arms and removed all short-range 
 nuclear arms from ships and submarines around the world. 
 Bush then called on the Soviet Union to do the same. 
1995 The U.S. government unveiled the redesigned $100 bill. 
 The bill featured a larger, off-center portrait of 
 Benjamin Franklin. 
2004 North Korean Vice Foreign Minister Choe Su Hon announced 
 that North Korea had turned plutonium from 8,000 spent 
 nuclear fuel rods into nuclear weapons. He also said that 
 the weapons were to serve as a deterrent against increasing 
 U.S. nuclear threats and to prevent nuclear war in northeast 
 Asia. The U.S. State Department noted that the U.S. has 
 repeatedly said that the U.S. has no plans to attack 
 North Korea. 
2015  smiled.


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Does Defraggler erase programs? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, September 26.

Check out the moon!
It is gorgeous. Probably best of the year.
It is not the sharpest, but the grain dust in the air
mellows it just a bit, and makes it look even bigger.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Kansas drunk, who stole a combine and went traveling. Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, September 26, in 1962 "The Beverly Hillbillies" premiered on CBS-TV. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do. --- Dale Carnegie "I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them." --- Robert Orben ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ When I found this recipe, I thought it would be perfect for people like me, who are not sure how to tell when poultry is cooked thoroughly but not dried out. Give this a try. BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN 6-7 lb. chicken 1 cup melted butter 1 cup stuffing 1 cup uncooked popcorn salt/pepper to taste small plastic bag and duck tape Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing. Put the popcorn into a small heavy duty plastic bag and seal thoroughly with duck tape. Tape up the chest opening of the chicken with duck tape. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the front (door) of the oven. Listen for popping sounds. When the chicken blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the kitchen, it is done. And, you thought I couldn't cook. ______________________________________________________ Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked: "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only a kiss a yard, " replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old lady standing beside her. "Grandma is really looking forward to pay the bill," she smiled. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A 6 year old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees". When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?" The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Don for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kenneth M. Lamb Jr., 37, Ellinwood, Kansas
Kansas drunk stole a combine and went traveling. ELLINWOOD, Kansas – Around 9:46 p.m. Tuesday evening, officers were called to the area of Northeast 10 Road and Northeast 120 Ave near Ellinwood. When they arrived on scene, they found an abandoned vehicle in the roadway. It was located and impounded by deputies. Shortly after, calls came in saying someone was driving a combine just East of Ellinwood in a reckless manner. The combine was reported weaving from ditch to ditch on U.S. 56 highway. It struck a guy wire and caused damage to power poles near the intersection of Southeast 10 Road and U.S. 56 Highway. It then continued West and entered the city of Ellinwood around 10:47 p.m. The driver drove through a residential neighborhood, striking several power poles and a 2005 Cheverolet pickup truck parked on the road. The pickup truck sustained extensive damage and the 8-row combine header was torn from the combine. An Ellinwood police officer attempted to contact the driver around 10:52 p.m. While doing so, the driver put the machine in reverse and rammed the Ellinwood police car. The combine driver fled the scene and a chase ensued. The combine then proceeded down several more side streets and drove South out of town on the county blacktop. The combine was all over the road, traveling with no lights. A sheriff’s deputy was able to get in front of the suspect and set a roadblock just South of the Arkansas River bridge. The suspect rammed the deputy’s patrol car, dragging it a considerable distance, causing extensive damage and disabling the unit. The deputy and Ellinwood officer fired approximately 18 rounds at the combine in an effort to disable it. The driver was taken from the implement and arrested. The driver was identified as Kenneth M. Lamb Jr., 37 of Ellinwood. The combine was stolen near the area where Lamb’s vehicle was found abandoned in the roadway. Lamb was arrested and booked for aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer, felony theft, felony criminal damage to property, and reckless driving. The case is still under investigation. More charges will probably be added, for example DUI.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: DJ Re: Does Defraggler erase programs? Dear Webby, does the defraggler erase all your programs? DJ Dear DJ No, it doesn't. It offers to dump the recycle bin to make some elbow room, but it doesn't delete programs or anything else, that is not already in the Recycle Bin. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Neville the Aborigine had been out of work for a long time, and when he was offered the job at the council as a garbage collector he decided to take it up. On his first day things were going great until he arrived at one house and noticed there was no wheelie bin out the front. Neville thought to himself, "I wanna do a good job and not get fired from here but if they find out I missed one house then I will get fired." So he went up to the door and knocked on it. To his surprise it was a fellow Aborigine who answered. Neville breathed a sigh of relief and said to the other bloke, "Where's ya bin?" The man replied, "I bin on 'olidays," Neville then said, "Na, maite, where's ya BIN?" "I bin on 'olidays I tell ya," was the reply. Neville, slightly frustrated, says, "Na, ya blimey idiot. Where's ya Wheelie Bin?" The other bloke looked round to see who might be listening. "Well," he said. "I weally bin in jail but I'm tellin' everyone I bin on 'olidays, aiy!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easiest Dishwasher Magnet This is the easiest dishwasher magnet to make and will last for years. Take a clean plastic lid (I used an icing lid) and cut the edge off. Write "clean" on one side and "dirty" on the other with a Sharpie marker. Use stick-on magnets with a really strong adhesive. Stick one on one side and one on the other. That's it, you're done. By Abigail A. [12] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses, you look like the same handsome young man I married." "Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!" ___________________________________________________

The Page Turner
____________________________________________________ They were burying Irish Pat today and the priest was explaining to the congregation that before they could put Pat to rest, someone had to get up and say something nice about Pat, even though Pat was a womanizer, a drunk and a fighter. No one got up. So the priest got up again and said,"Maybe I didn't explain me-self properly. Before we can put Paddy in his grave, one of us MUST get up and say something nice about the man.It's our duty as Irishmen and Catholics." So as the priest sat down again, Little Murphy in the back pew got up, cleared his throat, and with his porkpie hat in his hand said, "His sister was worse!". ____________________________________________________
The beautiful and talented Ana Rucner performs Storm by Vivaldi in the beautiful Plitvice Lakes National Park in Croatia.

Today, Sept 26, in
1777 Philadelphia was occupied by British troops during 
 the American Revolutionary War. 
1908 Ed Eulbach of the Chicago Cubs became the first 
 baseball player to pitch both games of a doubleheader and 
 win both with shutouts. 
1908 In "The Saturday Evening Post" an ad for the Edison 
 Phonograph appeared. 
1918 During World War I, the Meuse-Argonne offensive against 
 the Germans began. It was the final Allied offensive on the 
 western front. 
1950 U.N. troops recaptured the South Korean capital of Seoul 
 from the North Koreans during the Korean Conflict. 
1955 The New York Stock Exchange suffered its worst decline 
 since 1929 when the word was released concerning U.S. President 
 Eisenhower's heart attack. 
1960 The first televised debate between presidential candidates 
 Richard M. Nixon and John F. Kennedy took place in Chicago, IL. 
1962 "The Beverly Hillbillies" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1964 "Gilligan's Island" premiered on CBS-TV. The show aired 
 for the last time on September 4, 1967. 
1969 "The Brady Bunch" series premiered on ABC-TV. 
1980 The Cuban government abruptly closed Mariel Harbor to end 
 the freedom flotilla of Cuban refugees that began the previous 
 April. 
1981 The Boeing 767 made its maiden flight in Everett, WA. 
1985 Shamu was born at Sea World in Orlando, FL. Shamu was the 
 first killer whale to survive being born in captivity. 
1986 The episode of "Dallas" that had Bobby Ewing returning 
 from the dead was aired. 
1991 Four men and four women began their two-year stay inside 
 the "Biosphere II." The project was intended to develop 
 technology for future space colonies. The project was 
 cancelled in 1993 when they got caught ordering pizzas.
1996 Shannon Lucid returned to Earth after being in space 
 for 188 days. she set a time record for a U.S. astronaut 
 in space and in the world for time spent by a woman in 
 space. 
2000 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Born-Alive 
 Infants Protection Act. The act states that an infant would 
 be considered to have been born alive if he or she is 
 completely extracted or expelled from the mother and breathes 
 and has a beating heart and definite movement of the 
 voluntary muscles. 
2001 In Kabul, Afghanistan, the abandoned U.S. Embassy was 
 stormed by protesters. It was the largest anti-Amercian 
 protest since the terror attacks on New York City and 
 Washington, DC, on September 11. 
2001 Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat and Israeli Foreign 
 Minister Shimon Peres announced plans to formalize a 
 cease-fire and end a year of fighting in the region. 
2006 Facebook was openened to everyone at least 13 years 
 or older with a valid email address. 
2015  smiled.


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How does Defraggler compare to Diskeeper? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, September 25
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
>From Cora: Hi Webby, The answer you gave the lady about getting that message not to get her computer fixed....It is a scam. On our local news just last night they gave a report that a man called them about that very same thing. The man fell for it gave his credit card.................... You got it, they used his card and charged a large amount on it. Cora Dear Cora I got similar reports too, that TurboYourPC fakes problems with your computer, then wants money to fix the fake problems, and even if you uninstall, you will find that it changed stuff like browser search engine preferences from Google to Yahoo, Windows Phone settings all messed up, and so on. It is best to save your money and just do the common sense procedures, that I recommended. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today, September 25, in 1493 Christopher Columbus left Spain with 17 ships on his second voyage to the Western Hemisphere. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Chocolate Factory Worker Arrested for Making Bomb Threat So He will Be Fired Details at Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, September 25, in 1493 Christopher Columbus left Spain with 17 ships on his second voyage to the Western Hemisphere. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong. --- William J. H. Boetcker "You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." --- Tom Wilson "But he that dares not grasp the thorn, Should never crave the rose." --- Anne Bronte (1820-1849) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A college senior took his new girlfriend to a football game. The young couple found seats in the crowded stadium and were watching the action. A substitute was put into the game, and as he was running onto the field to take his position, the boy said to his girlfriend, "Take a good look at that fellow. I expect him to be our best man next year." His girlfriend snuggled closer to him and said, "That's the strangest way I ever heard of for a fellow to propose to a girl. Regardless of how you said it, I accept!" ______________________________________________________ Delighted by the gift she had received, the lady spoke warmly to the boy, "At church tomorrow, I'll thank your mother for this lovely pie." "If you don't mind, Ma'am," the boy suggested nervously, "would you please thank her for two pies?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A flying saucer was low on fuel, so it landed near a local gas station. On its side were the letters "UFO." The gas station attendant was stunned, but his curiosity got the best of him. "Does that stand for Unidentified Flying Object?", he asked. "No," one of the other-worldly travelers responds. "It stands for 'Unleaded Fuel Only.' " ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Don for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kristofer Pregent 22, St. Albans, Vermont
Chocolate Factory Worker Arrested for Making Bomb Threat So He will Be Fired Police say a Vermont chocolate factory worker hated his job and wanted to get fired, so he did the first thing that came to mind: He called in a bomb threat. Police say 22-year-old Kristofer Pregent stole a co-worker's cellphone and made the false threat under a different worker's name Monday night at the Barry Callebaut chocolate factory in St. Albans. Police say Pregent then threw the cellphone in a toilet tank. He first told police he received a bomb threat, then later said that didn't happen. He told officers he was unhappy with his job and wanted out. Pregent was charged with false public alarm, petit larceny and unlawful mischief. Apparently they expect the owner of the drowned phone to deal with him personally, when he gets out of jail.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Steve Re: How does Defraggler compare to Diskeeper? Dear Webby, How does Defraggler compare to Diskeeper? As always Thank You for a entertaining & informational newsletter. Steve J Dear Steve Diskeeper is $69 When it had problems with high resolution and wide monitors I stopped promoting Diskeeper. That was a few years ago. Defraggler is free, even the PRO version is quite affordable. It doesn't run just when a screen saver is active, it runs when you tell it to, but you can get fragmentation down to 1% or less. That makes the choice quite obvious. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A pastor told his congregation that he was going to do a 4 point message series over the next few weeks. Whatever word I end on", he told them, "I want you to sing a song that goes with that word". The 1st week the word was Rock. So the congregation sang "Rock of Ages". The 2nd week the word was Assurance. So they sang "Blessed Assurance". The 3rd week the word was Cross. They sang "At the Cross". The 4th week the word was sex. The congregation was baffled at what to sing. Finally an 85 yr old woman stood up from the back of the church and started singing "Precious Memories". Try singing that song next time without laughing. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Amazing Unpoppable Bubbles My little niece loves when we blow bubbles together, but there's always a little frown on her face when she's chasing them and they pop. I was buying her these little tubes of unbreakable bubble solution that worked okay, but not great. Here's a recipe to make your own that are very durable. Approximate Time: 3 minutes Yield: One jar of bubble solution Supplies: 1 cup distilled water 1 Tbsp dish soap 1 tsp glycerin 1 jar 1 straw Steps: Mix all ingredients in jar, shake well, and let sit for a day. If you have a very clean glove or sock, you can put it on your hand and even catch the bubbles! By attosa [122] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it. The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic." ___________________________________________________

what a sound engineer does
____________________________________________________ Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model in her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. The reminder worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method. The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds! ____________________________________________________
Rest in peace Yogi.

Today, Sept 24, in
1492 The crew of the Pinta, one of Christopher Columbus' 
 ships, mistakenly thought that they had spotted land. 
1493 Christopher Columbus left Spain with 17 ships on his 
 second voyage to the Western Hemisphere. 
1513 The Pacific Ocean was discovered by Spanish explorer 
 Vasco Nunez de Balboa when he crossed the Isthmus of 
 Panama. He named the body of water the South Sea. He was 
 truly just the first European to see the Pacific Ocean. 
1775 Ethan Allen was captured by the British during the 
 American Revolutionary War,leading the attack on Montreal. 
1847 During the Mexican-American War, U.S. forces led by 
 General Zachary Taylor captured Monterrey Mexico. 
1890 The Sequoia National Park was established as a U.S. 
 National Park in Central California. 
1890 Mormon President Wilford Woodruff issued a Manifesto 
 in which the practice of polygamy was renounced. 
1933 Tom Mix was heard on NBC Radio for the first time. 
 His show ran until June of 1950. 
1956 A transatlantic telephone-cable system began 
 operation between Newfoundland and Scotland. 
1957 300 U.S. Army troops stood guard as nine black 
 students were escorted to class at Central High School 
 in Little Rock, AR. The children had been forced to 
 withdraw 2 days earlier because of unruly white mobs. 
1973 The three crewmen of Skylab II landed in the Pacific 
 Ocean after being on the U.S. space laboratory for 59 days. 
1978 Melissa Ludtke, a writer for "Sports Illustrated", filed 
 a suit in U.S. District Court. The result was that Major 
 League Baseball could not bar female writers from the locker 
 room after the game. 
1983 A Soviet military officer, Stanislav Petrov, averted a 
 potential worldwide nuclear war. He declared a false alarm 
 after a U.S. attack was detected by a Soviet early warning 
 system. It was later discovered the alarms had been set off 
 when the satellite warning system mistakenly interpreted 
 sunlight reflections off clouds as the presence of enemy 
 missiles. 
1987 The booty collected from the Wydah, which sunk off 
 Cape Cod in 1717, was auctioned off. The worth was around 
 $400 million. 
1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to impose an air 
 embargo against Iraq. Cuba was the only dissenting vote. 
1991 The U.N. Security Council unanimously ordered a worldwide 
 arms embargo against Yugoslavia and all of its warring 
 factions. 
1992 In Orlando, FL, a judge ruled in favor of 12-year-old 
 Gregory Kingsley. He had sought a divorce from his 
 biological parents. 
1992 The Mars Observer blasted off on a mission that cost 
 $980 million. The probe has not been heard from since it 
 reached Mars in August of 1993. 
2002 U.S. forces landed in Ivory Coast to aid in the rescue 
 foreigners trapped in a school by fighting between 
 government troops and rebel troops. Rebels had attempted 
 to take over the government on September 19. 
2012 China launched its first aircraft carrier into service.
2015  smiled.


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Is TurboYourPC Scamware? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, September 24

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh woman who assaulted her estranged husband, while he was carrying a GoPro camera recording her assault Details at Boneheads Today, September 24, in 1869 Thousands of businessmen were financially ruined after a panic on Wall Street. The panic was caused by an attempt to corner the gold market by Jay Gould and James Fisk. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Dance like it hurts, Love like you need money, Work when people are watching. --- Scott Adams (1957 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Joe: I see you've lost weight since you started your new job. Did your boss put you on a diet?" Amy: No, she put me on commission. ______________________________________________________ The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for this picture: Dancing trees ______________________________________________________ A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years. Finally one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper's attention. The boat comes near the island, and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man. After awhile the sailor asks, "What are those three huts you have here?" "Well, that's my house there." "What's that next hut?" asks the sailor. "I built that hut to be my church." "What about the other hut?" "Oh, that's where I used to go to church." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Don for reporting this bonehead! An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Corinne Novak, 37, Dunedin, Pinellas County Floriduh
Abusive wife was arrested after GoPro on US Army Ranger records her attack. A woman in Florida allegedly attacked her estranged US Army Ranger husband and then threatened to report to police that he was the aggressor — but fortunately for him, it was caught on a GoPro video, and now she’s behind bars. The low blow was caught on a GoPro that the man, Michael Novak, had started carrying with him due to numerous instances, where he said he’s had to use a camera to either prove her guilt or prove his own innocence, according to a WTSP report. The woman, 37-year-old Corinne Novak, was taken to jail by Pinellas County deputies. The two are involved in an ugly divorce and custody battle over their twin 2-year-old children. Michael attaches the GoPro to his belt with a parachute cord to make sure every single encounter he has with his wife is fully documented. Fortunately for him, the GoPro had a fairly wide angle scope on it that catches much of the action, even from very close up. The footage in question comes from a custody exchange last week, when Michael went to reach into the back of the car to unbuckle one of the sons. Suddenly, he screams and jerks backward, and a frame-by-frame review of the footage appears to show her hand as she grabs his genitals. Michael said he was hopeful the footage would be helpful in a future court appearance to disprove his wife’s claims and prove his own, as men are often not believed in domestic disputes. Michael Novak had reportedly been frustrated by previous attacks and decided he needed video evidence that Corinne Novak was out of control and abusing him — both in an attempt to prove his own claims, and to protect himself from her claims. The couple has been at odds for a while, so Michael Novak began taking steps to protect himself from what he says are false accusations, and to prove to the court his wife’s behavior. The full video shows Novak reaching into a vehicle to unbuckle one of his sons, when Corinne Novak sneaks up behind him and appears to strike him in the testicles. The incident apparently happened on the morning of Sept. 17 in the town of Dunedin. Michael says in the video, “What the **** is your problem?” while Corinne responds, “Why are you assaulting me?” immediately after the alleged testicle-grabbing. “Call the police, I’m going to tell them you just assaulted me,” she can be heard saying on the video shortly after this altercation. Michael Novak said he believes that she came at him from behind because she knows he wears the camera. Corinne Novak is being held on domestic violence charges. They have been married for 11 months, according to a News Channel 8 report. Michael Novak said he has lots more video of her actions, including one video where she tased him while his arms were loaded with groceries. In the latest video, the mother was waiting to pick up the boys for visitation. She was arrested after a Pinellas County deputy reviewed the GoPro video.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jaye Re: TurboYourPC scamware? Dear Webby, Webby, is this for real??? "1 Reason Not To Buy A New Computer Do you have a slow Computer? Do Not buy a new PC or call a PC repair company. One simple tip is saving people Across the globe Thousands Of dollars... Jaye Dear Jaye With that much hype I would bet it is a scam. The truth is that an old XP machine is indeed just fine for WORKING. Look at the Millions of machines at the store checkouts, all running either XP or Linux. Look at all the old XP machines in accounting offices, working just fine. Look at the old XP machines used for word processing in Millions of offices, WORKING just fine. I have seen even Windows 98 machines running WordPerfect and cranking out letters as fast as the ladies did in the 80's on PCs with IBM DisplayWrite, when they were paid according to how many letters they did from tape or steno. As long as you don't need to run modern games or social media, and just WORK, the old machines are fine. Even if you use the machine for occasional playing and browsing and goofing around on the Internet, XP machines are still fine. There are lots of people who have refused to change to W2000, ME, VISTA, W7, W8, W10. They all say that as long as the old clunker still works and works faster than their neighbor's W10 machine, they are in no hurry to switch. Just follow the instructions I gave you a week or so ago. UNinstall all unnecessary programs. Defrag your hard drive. Use PC-Mechanic to optimize the registry safely And occasionally use Crap Cleaner to get rid of unnecessary crap. Then your old machine will run almost as fast as when you bought it. That was pretty fast, right? There is a free program called "Should I Remove It" at http://www.shouldiremoveit.com/ that will help you find long forgotten programs that you once tried and never used again. That too requires YOUR actions. It only recommends what you can safely remove. It probably also reminds you of a program or two that you thought you lost, because Windows moved it's icon off the edge. Well worth running that! And it is free! The truth is that no program can do those 4 steps all alone. YOU have to decide which unnecessary programs to dump, when and how to defrag, etc. If a program claims it can do all that for a mere fist full of money, tell them to stick it where the sun don't shine. By the way, if you want to throw money at that "TurboYourPC", first get the Revo-Uninstaller, so that you can get rid of every part of it, when you see that it is just BS. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ On a cruise to Alaska, I saw my very first glacier in the magnificent Inside Passage. Excitedly, I asked the ship's officer what it was called. "It's some dumb glacier," he replied. Disappointed by his attitude, I bought a map to figure it out myself. I spotted our location and found the name of the ice mass. It was called, just as he'd said, "Sumdum Glacier." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Meatball Clouds A super simple, low cost appetizer or main dish for Sunday football parties! Approximate Time: 40 minutes, including prep Yield: 10 clouds Ingredients: 2 packages buttermilk biscuits (the small kind that come 10 in a box) 10 medium sized meatballs (any kind, I used leftover turkey meatballs) 5 pieces string cheese 2 Tbsp minced garlic 1 cup tomato sauce, divided (I used Prego, any kind works) Steps: Preheat oven to 375 F. On a baking sheet, press out one container of biscuits until dough is flat, about one inch apart. Sprinkle garlic on the dough, add a meatball. Dice string cheese into 4 even pieces, add 2 pieces, one to each side of meatball. On the counter top, open the second package of dough, flatten out, then top each meatball creation with the second pocket of dough, pinching the edges. Repeat with 9 additional dough rounds. Bake for 30 minutes, broil for 2 to get nice browned look. Serve with 1/2 cup each of tomato sauce for dipping. Link: www.triingforbalance.blogspot.com By Rae G. [17] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ WHY WOMEN GET OUT OF BED . . . A recent survey was conducted to discover why women get out of bed in the middle of the night. 5% said it was to get a glass of water 12% said it was to go the bathroom and check the email 83% said it was to go home. ___________________________________________________

Felix Baumgartner - Red Bull Stratos - Complete Space Jump - GoPro
____________________________________________________ The homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. "You did a great job," he said and handed the man a check. "Also, in order to thank you, here's an extra $80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie." The painter thanked him and agreed to do that. Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. Thinking the man had forgotten something he asked, "What's the matter, did you forget something?" "Nope," replied the painter. "I'm a man of my word. I'm here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked." ____________________________________________________
Interactive street art in Malaysia is brilliant.

Today, Sept 24, in
1869 Thousands of businessmen were financially ruined after a 
panic on Wall Street. The panic was caused by an attempt to 
 corner the gold market by Jay Gould and James Fisk. 
1929 The first all-instrument flight took place in New York 
 when Lt. James H. Doolittle guided a Consolidated NY2 
 Biplane over Mitchell Field. 
1933 "Roses and Drums" was heard on WABC in New York City. 
 It was the first dramatic presentation for radio. 
1955 U.S. President Dwight Eisenhower suffered a heart attack 
 while on vacation in Denver, CO. 
1957 U.S. President Eisenhower sent federal troops to Little 
 Rock, AR, to enforce school integration. 
1960 The first nuclear powered aircraft carrier was launched. 
 The USS Enterprise set out from Newport News, VA. 
1963 The U.S. Senate ratified a treaty that limited nuclear 
 testing. The treaty was between the U.S., Britain, and the 
 Soviet Union. They all ignored it.
1968 "60 Minutes" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1995 Three decades of Israeli occupation of West Bank cities 
 ended with the signing of a pact by Israel and the PLO. 
1996 The United States, represented by President Clinton, and 
 the world's other major nuclear powers signed a Comprehensive 
 Test Ban Treaty to end all testing and development of nuclear 
 weapons. They all promptly ignored it.
1998 The U.S. Federal Reserve released into circulation $2 billion 
 in new harder-to-counterfeit $20 bills. 
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush froze the assets of 27 suspected 
 terrorists and terrorist groups. 
2015  smiled.


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Why does Defraggler get defragmentation only down to 11% 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, September 23

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida felon, who got busted for a driving stolen car to meet probation officer, and carrying a loaded gun. Details at Boneheads Today, September 23, in 1642 The first commencement at Harvard College, in Cambridge, MA, was held. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) "Talent develops in quiet places, character in the full current of human life." --- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man entered a barbershop and said, "I am tired of looking like everyone else. I want a change. Part my hair from ear to ear!" The barber nodded and said, "Are you sure?" His customer said, "yes," so the barber did as he was told, and the satisfied gentleman left the shop a happy man. Three hours passed and the man reentered the barber shop. "Put it back the way it was," hesaid. "What's the matter?" said the barber. "Are you tired of being a non-conformist already?" "No," the customer replied, "I'm tired of people with bad breath whispering at my nose." ______________________________________________________ A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He was trying every excuse in the world, trying to get out of it but none of them worked. On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the bench. "Your Honor," he said, " I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the Grey suit with those shifty eyes and that dishonest face and I said, "He's a crook! He's guilty, guilty, guilty." So your Honor, I could not possibly stay on this jury!" With a tired annoyance the judge replied, "Get back in the jury box. That's his lawyer." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A man was being proselytized by group of friends: "Come join our study group. We want to discuss mankind's relationship to God." "I'm married; I learned long ago that my opinions don't matter." "But, when you die, will you go to heaven or to hell?" "Wherever my wife tells me to." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christopher John Smith, 38, Flagler, Floriduh
Florida felon got busted for driving stolen car to meet probation officer and carrying a loaded gun. Bringing a loaded gun to a visit with a probation officer is strange, but going to the meeting in a stolen car is bizarre even for Florida. Deputies in Flagler County arrested Christopher John Smith, 38, Monday on a probation violation charge. Smith was sentenced to three years probation last July on charges of resisting an officer and felony battery. Authorities said he showed up for the meeting with his parole officer with a silver Raven Arms .25 caliber pistol stuffed in a bag, according to the Daytona Beach News Journal. Police said there was no round in the chamber but there were five rounds in the magazine. Officials detected the weapon when he walked into the probation office, according to NewsDaytonaBeach.com. No other weapons were found in the Ford Focus that brought Smith to the meeting, but investigators discovered the car had been stolen from a St. Johns County Dollar Rent a Car on Sept. 1. Smith told deputies he did not know whether he'd rented the car or if he'd made payments, saying his "business partners" handled those details, according to FlaglerLive.com. Police said Smith couldn't provide the names of people or companies he's working with who were responsible for paying for the vehicle. When Smith asked his parole officer why he was asking so many questions, the officer said he was just trying to figure out why Smith was in possession of a stolen Ford. At that point, Smith invoked his right to remain silent, according to the Daytona Beach News Journal. Smith remains in the Flagler County Jail without bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Glennis Re: Defraggler only gets 11% Dear Webby, I tried the defraggler, but it only gets fragmentation from 44% down to 11%. What am I doing wrong? Glennis Dear Glennis That is just the default setting. It does not bother with small, low priority stuff like little pictures and such. Just go intoi the settings and play with them. Set the minimum size of files to defragment to 0, and so on. Then in the lower window below the drive map, click on File List. In there, sort it by Fragments, so that you have the files with the highest number of fragments on top. Select as many as you want, or all. Then click on Defragment selected files. Naturally, with a huge hard drive that will take a lot of time, that is why you can select just the worst ones and get a very drastic reduction in overall fragmentation. You can do just the worst ones one night, and then do the next batch some other time. As you probably noticed, you can do other work wile it is defragging, but disk intensive work is slowed down while Defraggler works. You can pause or stop defragging any time, but if you have to shut down or reboot, stop Defraggler first. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Tip: Cold Tea For Itchy Eyes My eyes get very itchy during allergy season, despite eye drops. I find cold tea helps when all else fails. I usually put on cold tea compresses or use cotton balls but, during the day, it seems to help to use cold tea applied with an eye dropper. It really eases those inflamed tender tissues around the eyes. Note: you have to make a fresh batch daily, this will not keep. By Pamphyila from Los Angeles Used tea bags from regular, old-fashioned tea laid on the closed eyes for a minute work very well to relieve itching, burning or sandy feeling. Green tea or other fashion teas don't seem to help with that. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married ?" "Yes, sir, once" said the witness in a low voice. "Whom did you marry?" "Well, a woman." The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman ! Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man ?" The witness replied meekly, "MY mother did." ___________________________________________________

Contagious Subway Laughter
____________________________________________________ Teacher: Max, use "defeat," "defense" and "detail" in a sentence. Max: The rabbit ran across the field, and defeat went over defence before detail. ____________________________________________________
Great driving skill in this Russian ice skating car ad. The ice skaters aren't bad either.

Today, Sept 23, in
1642 The first commencement at Harvard College, in Cambridge, 
 MA, was held. 
1779 John Paul Jones, commander of the American warship Bon 
 Homme, was quoted as saying "I have not yet begun to fight!" 
1780 John Andre, a British spy, was captured with papers 
 revealing that Benedict Arnold was going to surrender West Point, 
 NY, to the British. 
1806 The Corps of Discovery, the Lewis and Clark expedition, 
 reached St. Louis, MO, and ended the trip to the Pacific 
 Northwest. 
1845 The Knickerbocker Base Ball Club of New York was formed 
 by Alexander Joy Cartwright. It was the first baseball team 
 in America. 
1846 Astronomer Johann Gottfried Galle discovered the planet 
 Neptune. 
1912 "Keystone Comedy" by Mack Sennett was released. 
1930 Flashbulbs were patented by Johannes Ostermeier. 
1952 The first Pay Television sporting event took place. 
 The Marciano-Walcott fight was seen in 49 theaters 
 in 31 cities. 
1957 Nine black students withdrew from Little Rock Central 
 High School in Arkansas due to the white mob outside. 
1973 Overthrown Argentine president Juan Peron was returned 
 to power. He had been overthrown in 1955. His wife, 
 Eva Duarte, was the subject of the musical "Evita." 
1986 Japanese newspapers quoted Prime Minister Yasuhiro 
 Nakasone as saying that minorities lowered the 
 "intelligence level" of America. 
1990 Iraq publicly threatened to destroy Middle East oil 
 fields and to attack Israel if any nation tried to force 
 it from Kuwait. 
1991 U.N. weapons inspectors find documents detailing Iraq's 
 secret nuclear weapons program. The find in Baghdad triggered 
 a standoff with authorities in Iraq. 
1993 The Israeli parliament ratified the Israel-PLO accord. 
1993 Blacks were allowed a role in the South African government 
 after a parliamentary vote. 
1999 A 17-month-old girl fell 230 feet from the Capilano 
 Suspension Bridge in North Vancouver, British Columbia. The girl 
 had bruises but no broken limbs from the fall onto a rocky ledge. 
2015  smiled.


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Filter email but exclude mail from friends 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, September 21

>From Efa re thumb drives for Linux
If your going to suggest USB thumb drives. I would have them 
make it with persistence that way they can save wifi or 
other settings.

I would also make a caveat about sound cards and other 
auxiliary that can sometimes be a little more challenging. 
It's a lot better than I remember from before.

Fedora 22 is a 1.3 gb image using there windows tool you 
can make up to 4gb persistent part.
Mint I think the last I checked was 1.3 to 1.6 gb for 17.

If someone needs a penguin type in the Boston area I might 
be able to assist.

It was a welcome surprise to find 8.1 had a image burner 
baked in. 
Efa

Hi Efa
All the flavors of Linux I tried coped with standard sound 
cards quite well. Only with home-made high performance
game machines would one have to expect a bit of a hassle
finding drivers for new, not yet popular sound cards.
Personally I have not seen any problem with sound cards.

Connecting to the Internet seems to have been practically 
built in as the basic foundation, but setting up local 
networks often requires a bit of help from a friendly 
penguin the first time around.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Pennsylvanian heroin addict who stabbed himself while trying to steal a phone. Details at Boneheads Today, September 21, in 1792 The French National Convention voted to abolish the monarchy. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. --- Elvis Presley (1935 - 1977) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Moe Abbot, Costello and Unemployment COSTELLO : I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America. ABBOTT : Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 5.6%. COSTELLO : That many people are out of work? ABBOTT : No, that's 23%. COSTELLO : You just said 5.6%. ABBOTT : 5.6% Unemployed. COSTELLO : Right 5.6% out of work. ABBOTT : No, that's 23%. COSTELLO : Okay, so it's 23% unemployed. ABBOTT : No, that's 5.6%. COSTELLO : WAIT A MINUTE. Is it 5.6% or 23%? ABBOTT : 5.6% are unemployed. 23% are out of work. COSTELLO : If you are out of work you are unemployed. ABBOTT : No, Congress said you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed. COSTELLO : BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!! ABBOTT : No, you miss his point. COSTELLO : What point? ABBOTT : Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair. COSTELLO : To whom? ABBOTT : The unemployed. COSTELLO : But ALL of them are out of work. ABBOTT : No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed. COSTELLO : So if you're off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment? ABBOTT : Unemployment would go down. Absolutely! COSTELLO : The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work? ABBOTT : Absolutely it goes down. That's how it gets to 5.6%. Otherwise it would be 23%. COSTELLO : Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number? ABBOTT : Two ways is correct. COSTELLO : Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job? ABBOTT : Correct. COSTELLO : And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job? ABBOTT : Bingo. COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work. ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like an Economist. COSTELLO: I don't even know what I just said! ABBOTT: Now you're thinking like a Liberal. ______________________________________________________ I noticed the neighbor down the street was home and sitting on his porch every day, so after a few weeks I asked him what was going on. He replied, "I left my job because of illness and fatigue." A few weeks later, his wife gave me the real truth of what happened. Turns out his boss got sick and tired of him. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Mark, went into a convenience store to prepay for gasoline and returned with two plastic bottles of soda. As he filled the tank, his wife opened a bottle. To her dismay it fizzed and foamed all over her lap. Several miles down the road, Mark asked for his soda. Handing it to him, She warned, "Be careful. These are really over-carbonated." But when Mark opened his bottle, it barely hissed. Eyes on the road, he nonchalantly said, "You must have gotten the one I dropped." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by David Lee, 46, South Union Township, Pennsylvania
Pennsylvanian heroin addict stabbed himself while trying to steal phone A Pennsylvania man is recovering after he accidentally stabbed himself while allegedly trying to steal a cellphone, according to CBS Pittsburgh Police in South Union Township said David Lee, 46, was in a Walmart Monday evening when he used a knife to remove a Straight Talk Wireless phone from the shelf. A few minutes later, they said Lee was in the automotive aisle when he used the knife to try and open the packaging. Instead, he allegedly stabbed himself in the arm, the website reports. Store employees happened to notice Lee bleeding excessively and approached him, according to HeraldStandard.com. Police said Lee tried to walk through the store while staff followed him. A trail of blood was dripping on the floor. Lee grabbed a towel off the shelf and wrapped it around his arm as he was trying to leave. Lee ran from the store and drove himself to a local hospital. However, the wound was so severe that he had to be flown to a Pittsburgh hospital, according to PennLive.com. A hazmat crew was called to the store to clean up the blood, according to WPXI.com. Police met up with Lee at the hospital and charged him with retail theft and disorderly conduct, according to the station. Lee is expected to survive his self-inflicted stabbing, his mother told local media, and blamed his use of heroin on the incident. Patty Lee told CBS Pittsburgh she "didn’t think he’d ever try that big of a stunt,” but said he's addicted to heroin and “I don’t know where he’s going to end up at.” Some lawyer will probably get him to sue Walmart for packaging phones too well for heroin addicts.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Woodie Re: Filter email by keyword? Dear Webby, You mentioned that it is not agood idea to bounce mail back to a fake sender address, which I can absolutely understand. However, can you flag it for deleting if a keyword is there, but the sender is not in the white-list? I don't want to lose emails from friends, if they joke about things, that are typically mentioned in spam. Woodie Dear Woodie Yes, sure. With MailWasher you can definitely do that. When you compose a filter, you can click an exclusion for the Friends list. That way, if the sender is in the Friends list, the filter won't be applied. You can also use regular expressions to exclude just a handful of "authorized" addresses. Yes, you can use all the regular expressions like AND, AND / OR, BUT NOT IF, AND IF, etc. If you can compose a rule in plain English, then you can click together a filter to do just that. Making filters is easy and it becomes a game to outsmart the spammers. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Six-year-old Jay's father was a rector in a small church. One day, his father told Jay that a very important bishop was coming and that he would be staying with them. Jay became very excited and asked his father if he would get to meet the bishop. His father thought about this and decided that he would let Jay bring the bishop tea in the morning and wake him up. Jay was very excited about the opportunity to do this. His father gave him instructions: first, knock on the door of the bishop's room and then say to him, "It's the boy, my Lord, it's time to get up." Jay was very excited and rehearsed his lines repeating them over and over. Finally, morning came and Jay rehearsed his lines. He went to the door and knocked. He was so excited and nervous though, that his lines got mixed up and Jay said, "It's the Lord, my boy, and your time is up!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fizzy Cherry Popsicles I have been making a lot of popsicles lately and wanted to try something different. I thought that a Shirley Temple popsicle would be delicious. I used a naturally flavored carbonated water. There was no calories or artificial sweeteners. The kids loved it. They keep asking when I am going to make more! Approximate Time: a few minutes, plus freezing time Yield: as many as you would like Ingredients: Maraschino cherries & syrup carbonated water The one (I used cherry flavored) Steps: Pour some maraschino cherry syrup into your popsicle molds. I filled mine about 1/4 of the way. Plop in a cherry or two. Fill the rest of the mold with your carbonated water. Don't fill all the way, to make room for the mixture to expand while freezing. Add your popsicle tops. Freeze for a few hours until completely frozen. By Becky Miles [72] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Painting, n. The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. Formerly, painting and sculpture were combined in the same work: the ancients painted their statures. The only present alliance between the two arts is that the modern painter often chisels his patrons. --- Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary." ___________________________________________________

kitten forgets there are two lizards
____________________________________________________ A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home." ____________________________________________________
Blackboard chalk art that I didn't know could be done. The drawings are amazing!

Today, Sept 21, in
1792 The French National Convention voted to abolish the monarchy. 
1784 "The Pennsylvania Packet and Daily Advertiser" was published 
 for the first time in Philadelphia. It was the first daily paper 
 in America. 
1893 Frank Duryea took what is believed to be the first 
 gasoline-powered automobile for a test drive. The "horseless 
 carriage" was designed by Frank and Charles Duryea. 
1897 The New York Sun ran the "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" 
 editorial. It was in response to a letter from 8-year-old Virginia 
 O'Hanlon. 
1931 Britain went off the gold standard. 
1931 Japanese forces began occupying China's northeast territory 
 of Manchuria. 
1937 J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit" was first published. 
1948 Milton Berle debuted as the host of "The Texaco Star Theater" 
 on NBC-TV. The show later became "The Milton Berle Show." Berle 
 was the regular host until 1967. 
1948 "Life With Luigi" debuted on CBS Radio. 
1949 Communist leaders proclaimed The People's Republic of China. 
1957 "Perry Mason", the television series, made its debut on CBS-TV. 
 The show was on for 9 years. 
1961 Antonio Abertondo swam the English Channel (in both directions) 
 in 24 hours and 25 minutes. 
1964 Malta gained independence from Britain. 
1966 The Soviet probe Zond 5 returned to Earth. The spacecraft 
 completed the first unmanned round-trip flight to the moon. 
1973 Henry Kissinger was confirmed by the U.S. Senate to become 
 56th Secretary of State. He was the first naturalized citizen to 
 hold the office of Secretary of State. 
1981 Belize gained full independence from Great Britain. 
1982 National Football League (NFL) players began a 57-day strike. 
 It was their first regular-season walkout. 
1982 Amin Gemayel was elected president of Lebanon. He was the 
 brother of Bashir Gemayel who was the president-elect when he 
 was assassinated. 
1984 General Motors and the United Auto Workers union reached an 
 agreement that would end the previous six days of spot strikes. 
1985 North and South Korea opened their borders for their family 
 reunion program. 
1993 Russian President Boris N. Yeltsin announced that he was 
 ousting the Communist-dominated Congress. The action was 
 effectively seizing all state power. 
1996 The board of all-male Virginia Military Institute voted to 
 admit women. 
2015  smiled.


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Can email be bounced back? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, September 20

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Oregon man who was arrested for urinating on passengers onJet Blue flight Details at Boneheads Today, September 20, in 1519 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan left Spain to find a route to the Spice Islands of Indonesia. Magellan was killed during the trip, but one of his ships eventually made the journey. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Money can't buy friends, but it can get you a better class of enemy. --- Spike Milligan ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. Success is a relative term. It brings too many relatives. ______________________________________________________ The Shiny-Walled Box Thingie An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.The lad asked, "What is this, father?" The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.The father looked at his son and said, "Go get your mother." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to carl for this picture: Tangier Island ______________________________________________________ A southern Belle arrived a the church rather late, just as the congregation was rushing to their cars. "Is - M - ass out?" she panted to one of the dowagers. "No, chile, but your skirt IS a little short," she replied. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jeff Rubin, 27, Portland, Oregon
Oregon man was arrested for urinating on passengers onJet Blue flight An Oregon man is facing charges after authorities say he urinated on passengers on a flight from Anchorage to Portland, Oregon. 27-year-old Jeff Rubin was arrested early Friday after JetBlue Flight 47 arrived at Portland International Airport. A police report says passengers and airline employees told officers Rubin had been sleeping for most of the flight. About 30 minutes before landing, he stood up and began urinating through the crack between the seats in front of him — onto the passengers sitting there. The report says he lost his balance and fell backward, spraying urine on passengers, seats and luggage. Rubin spent about five hours in jail. He faces charges of criminal mischief and offensive littering.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Erin Re: Can you bounce email back? Dear Webby, is there a program to bounce email back to the sender? Erin Dear Erin MailWasher can do that, but normally that is not a good idea. Most spammers don't use their own address for sending spam, and many of them even fake YOUR address into the FROM slot. I made filters in MailWasher to dump, without any listing or warning any mail, that has forged my address into the FROM line. I never even see a listing of it. MailWasher sends those spams straight to hell. The only time to use bouncing is for a few very specific email addresses, for example the address of your MIL or your EX, or anybody, whose mail you consider obnoxious. Bouncing by topic or key word is usually not a good idea. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ That reminds me... A man visited a psychiatrist to talk about his dreams. "Every night," the man said, "I dream that these three hideous monsters are sitting on the edge of my bed, ready to attack me." "Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel sure I can cure you of this problem. But the treatment will be costly. I charge $200 per weekly session and it may take a couple of years to solve your problem." "Two hundred dollars per session!" the man gasped. "Never mind getting rid of the monsters, Doctor. I think I will give that bed to my mother-in-law. That will fix their wagon!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mould and Mildew Spray to Clean Toilet Cleaning around your toilet seat hinge can be fiddly and time consuming. A cloth won't get into all the cracks and crevices. Antibacterial spray is good for getting in there and killing the germs but won't banish the stains. I find that a mould and mildew spray, which mostly consists of bleach, is brilliant for getting rid of unsightly yellowing and it kills bacteria too By ShirleyE [17] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ The chef at a family run restaurant had broken her leg and came into her insurance office to file a disability claim. As the agent scanned the claim form, heI did a double take. Under "Reason unable to work," she had written: "Can't stand to cook." ___________________________________________________

1768 feet up, just to get to work
____________________________________________________ Bubba and Jed took parachuting lessons, and were arguing about who was best at folding a parachute. Unable to resolve their dispute on the ground, they decided to go up in a plane and judge by the midair performance of their parachutes. Bubba jumped first, pulled his cord, and started floating down towards the earth. Then Jed jumped, pulled his cord and nothing happened; he pulled his safety cord- nothing. In a matter of seconds he whizzed past Bubba, plummeting like a stone. "Oh," shouted the Bubba, yanking off his harness, "so ya wanna race, do ya?!" ____________________________________________________
A short video of the UNESCO World Heritage Sites of Guilin and Yangshuo in China filmed by a drone.

Today, Sept 20, in
1519 Portuguese navigator Ferdinand Magellan left Spain 
 to find a route to the Spice Islands of Indonesia. Magellan 
 was killed during the trip, but one of his ships eventually 
 made the journey. 
1870 The Papal States came under the control of Italian troops, 
 leading to the unification of Italy. 
1884 The Equal Rights Party was formed in San Francisco, CA. 
1921 KDKA in Pittsburgh, PA, started a daily radio newscast. 
 It was one of the first in the U.S. 
1963 U.S. President John F. Kennedy proposed a joint U.S.-Soviet 
 expedition to the moon in a speech to the U.N. General Assembly. 
1967 The ocean liner Queen Elizabeth 2 (QE2) was launched. It 
 went out of service on November 27, 2008. 
1977 The first of the "boat people" arrived in San Francisco 
 from Southeast Asia under a new U.S. resettlement program. 
1982 U.S. President Ronald Reagan announced that the U.S., 
 France, and Italy were going to send peacekeeping troops 
 back to Beirut. 
1989 F.W. de Klerk was sworn in as president of South Africa. 
1991 U.N. weapons inspectors left for Iraq in a renewed 
 search for Iraqi weapons of mass destruction. 
1995 AT&T announced that it would be splitting into three 
 companies. The three companies were AT&T, Lucent Technologies, 
 and NCR Corp. 
1995 The U.S. House of Representatives voted to drop the 
 national speed limit. This allowed the states to decide their 
 own speed limits. 
2015  smiled.


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McAfee's WHOA page 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, September 19

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Idaho man arrested for carrying stolen goods past cop and fleeing when cop tried to arrest him. Details at Boneheads Today, September 19, in 1876 Melville R. Bissell patented the carpet sweeper. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Political advertising ought to be stopped. It's the only really dishonest kind of advertising that's left. --- David M. Ogilvy ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The police recently busted a man selling tablets that he claimed stopped aging. When going through their files they noticed it was the fourth time he was caught for doing this. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856 and 1928. ______________________________________________________ Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. "What's this little pocket thing here on the side for?" "Oh, that's to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you've jogged too far." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Noella for her Fall picture Fall ______________________________________________________ Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Mozes Joseph Jimenez, 25, Twin Falls, Idaho
Idaho man arrested for carrying stolen goods past cop and fleeing when cop tried to arrest him. A man caught shoplifting at Target walked past a Twin Falls Police Officer with an armful of clothing he was planning to steal, police said. He then pretended to look for a receipt for the stolen goods in his car and fled, nearly hitting the officer, police said. Mozes Joseph Jimenez, 25, was arraigned Tuesday in Twin Falls Magistrate Court on a charge of felony burglary. Officer Matthew Ferronato was at Target, 1611 Blue Lakes Blvd., on May 30 speaking with a manager when a customer approached and said a man carried several clothing items out of the store without paying for them, court documents said. Ferronato went outside to find Jimenez walking toward a car carrying clothes without a bag that were still on hangers and had tags attached to them, police said. Ferronato reported that when asked if he had a receipt for the clothes Jimenez appeared to become nervous and slowly reached into his pocket. He then pulled his hand out with nothing in it. Jimenez opened his car door and said the receipt must be in the car, court documents said. Jimenez then proceed to look behind his seat underneath a windshield cover. Jimenez sat down into the driver seat and started to reach under the front passenger seat, police said. Ferronato asked him to step out of the car, but Jimenez turned it on and threw it in reverse. He backed up so quickly Ferronato had to run out of the way to avoid being sideswiped, court documents said. Ferronato got into his car and began pursuit, but after Jimenez turned onto Fillmore Street and then North College Road Ferronato was ordered to stop the chase, police said. An asset protection employee for Target said the merchandise taken from the store was worth about $80. Jimenez was arrested Monday. His bond was set at $25,000 and a preliminary hearing is scheduled for Sept. 11.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Pam Re: McAfee WHOA page Dear Webby, I went to a site after searching for it on Google, and McAfee hit me with the scary "WHOA, get back!" page. I phoned the company, -their phone number was in the Google results-, but they told me that since Google listed their page, obviously the problem was on my side, and that I should use AVG or Norton, and would not get that "false warning". Sounds to me the guy was an incompetent or clueless bozo. I wasily found an alternative place, that did not have a warning from McAfee. Is that sort of thing common? Pam Dear Pam Yes, unfortunately that is quite common. The same thing happened to me again a few days ago. I had heard that the owner of that site was rather clueless, so I didn't waste my time phoning, and simply went to another site, that sold the same stuff. That happens about every second month to me. The problem is not the server. The webhost normally doesn't do any malware check. The problem is the webmaster. If her or his computer is infected, then the work they produce is often also infected. The infection is not necessarily a virus, but often just some sneaky ads or links, that lead to malicious or unsafe sites. McAfee follows all the links and tests them. If one leads to an unsafe site, then you get the big, red "WHOA!" page. Just because AVG or Norton don't follow up the links on a site, or even bother checking where you are browsing to, that does not mean the sites they fail to warn you about, are safe. That is why I have always recommended to get McAfee. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Anise Extract for Acid Reflux This does not work for everyone, but it worked for my son-in-law and I. We both had acid reflux. I had read something in a book about licorice oil being an aid. I went to the store and tried to find licorice oil with no luck. (I found later you can order it through a drug store.) Since I couldn't find it, I got to thinking that licorice tastes and is substituted with anise. I went looking for anise oil but couldn't find any. I finally went to the grocery store in the seasonings aisle. I found anise extract. It was fairly inexpensive so I bought a bottle. I took it home and followed the other instructions I remembered. "Taking it carefully, start with a small amount (up to two TEASPOONS, not tablespoons). I took up to two teaspoons the first time and had relief. I had to repeat a couple months later but haven't had any backup since. My son-in-law tried it and one dose fixed his problem. My daughter tried it but got the instructions mixed up and took two tablespoons. She has not had much relief. Proving once again that too much of a good thing isn't good. I shared this with my counselor, who tried it. She shared with her clients. They were cured too. I didn't hear of any failures from her. Source: I think the book was a Pioneer Cookbook I had purchased somewhere in my lifetime. By Grandmama [3] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "Recently we got a call from that big white church at 11th and Walnut," the paramedic said. "A frantic usher was very concerned that during the sermon an elderly man passed out in a pew and appeared to be dead. The usher could find no pulse and there was no noticeable breathing." "What was so unusual and demanding about this particular call?" the interviewer asked. "Well," the paramedic said, "we carried out seven guys before we found the one who was dead." ___________________________________________________

1768 feet up, just to get to work
____________________________________________________ PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience. --- Ambrose Bierce ____________________________________________________
This is just mesmerizing to watch.

Today, Sept 19, in
1356 The Battle of Poitiers was fought between England and France. 
 Edward "the Black Prince" captured France's King John. 
1777 The Battle of Saratoga was won by American soldiers during 
 the Revolutionary War. 
1819 John Keats wrote "Ode to Autumn." 
1876 Melville R. Bissell patented the carpet sweeper. 
1891 "The Merchant of Venice" was performed for the first 
 time at Manchester. 
1893 In New Zealand, the Electoral Act 1893 was consented to giving 
 all women in New Zealand the right to vote. 
1955 Argentina President Juan Peron was ousted after a revolt by 
 the army and navy. 
1957 The U.S. conducted its first underground nuclear test. 
 The test took place in the Nevada desert. 
1959 Nikita Khruschev was not allowed to visit Disneyland due to 
 security reasons. Khrushchev reacted angrily. 
1960 Cuban leader Fidel Castro, in New York to visit the United 
 Nations, checked out of the Shelburne Hotel angrily after a 
 dispute with the management. 
1982 Scott Fahlman became the first person to use :-) in an online 
 message. 
1983 Lebanese army units defending Souk el-Gharb were supported 
 in their effort by two U.S. Navy ships off Beirut. 
1986 U.S. health officials announced that AZT, though an 
 experimental drug, would be made available to AIDS patients. 
1988 Israel successfully launched the Horizon-I test satellite. 
1990 Iraq began confiscating foreign assets of countries that 
 were imposing sanctions against the Iraqi government. 
1992 The U.N. Security Council recommended suspending Yugoslavia 
 due to its role in the Bosnian civil war. 
1994 U.S. troops entered Haiti peacefully to enforce the return 
 of exiled President Jean-Bertrand Aristide. 
1995 The commander of American forces in Japan and the U.S. 
 ambassador apologized for the rape of a schoolgirl committed by 
 three U.S. servicemen. 
1996 The government of Guatemala and leftist rebels signed a peace 
 treaty to end their long war. 
2002 In Ivory Coast, around 750 rebel soldiers attempted to 
 overthrow the government. U.S. troops landed on September 25th to 
 help move foreigners, including Americans, to safer areas. 
2003 It was reported that AOL Time Warner was going to drop "AOL" 
 from its name and be known as Time Warner Inc. The company 
 had announced its merger and name change on January 10, 2000. 
2015  smiled.


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Euro Sign for laptops 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, September 18
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an S.C. Woman arrested for groping strangers, breaking into a home to play cards Details at Boneheads Today, September 18, in 1759 The French formally surrendered Quebec to the British. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ A motion to adjourn is always in order. --- Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. "We need a fourth for poker," said the friend. "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?" "Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, there are three doctors there already!" ______________________________________________________ It's been determined that it's a bad idea to give chocolate to a woman with PMS. It can worsen the condition. However, it's an even WORSE idea to try to take AWAY chocolate from a woman with PMS. ______________________________________________________ Water Walker ______________________________________________________ Someone in our neighborhood put a huge sofa out by the curb for trash collection. Since it was in good shape, many motorists slowed down for a look. But when they saw how enormous it was, they'd leave. Eventually a compact car pulled up, and two men got out. "This I've got to see," I thought. They removed the cushions, turned the sofa upside down, and shook it hard. Then they picked up all the coins that tumbled out and drove off. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Annetta Brewton, 46, Spartanburg, South Carolina
S.C. Woman arrested for groping strangers, breaking into a home to play cards A woman in Spartanburg, South Carolina, is being accused of an alleged crime spree that included fondling strangers in a local store and breaking into a home to play cards with the victim. Annetta Brewton, 46, was arrested Tuesday for a variety of charges, including kidnapping, burglary, trespassing, shoplifting and indecent exposure, FoxCarolina.com reports. Police said Brewton walked into a Sav-A-Lot and attempted to shoplift several steaks by sticking them up her shirt, according to the website. The store employee who called police said several customers identified Brewton by name. Brewton then walked into a different store in the same strip mall, where witnesses said she started groping customers and asking them for money. Brewton was asked to leave, but refused, according to WSPA.com. Instead, she pulled down her pants and showed off her genitals while cursing. Police said Brewton then ran out of the store down the street and broke into the home of an elderly woman, with whom she asked to play cards. She then locked the door and said they weren't going anywhere because the police were outside. When the police did arrive, Brewton refused to leave, claiming she was using the victim's toilet and wouldn't pull up her pants, according to FoxCarolina.com. Officers finally took Brewton into custody and out of the victim's home. On the way to the police station, police said she kicked out the back window of a patrol car, according to WLTX.com. Brewton remains in custody at the Spartanburg County Detention Center in lieu of $25,470 bond.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Sandra Re: Euro sign on laptop Dear Webby, I googled for hours trying to find a way to make the Euro symbol with my laptop. There are lots of seemingly helpful suggestions, but none of them work. I got W7. What do you suggest? Sandra Dear Sandra I agree, most of those suggestions don't work on laptops unless you have a numeric keypad on the side of the keyboard. Some laptops like the Acer Aspire have one, but few others. Yuppies apparently hate wide laptops that take up too much space on the tiny tables at Starbucks. There are two ways that work on all Windows laptops. START, type charmap.exe and search for the Euro sign, copy it, jump back to where you need it, and paste it. Yeah, I agree, that is very klutzy, because the Euro sign is not easy to find in there. That is why I wrote http://webby.com/char many years ago, when you were still jail bait. The Euro symbol is both in the text on top, and the last item in the first table. Highlight the € Euro symbol, CTRL C to Copy ALT TAB to jump back to where you need it, CTRL V to paste it. Yes, I know that is still a bit klutzy, but until Microsoft gets over being in a snit about the Europeans suing them for making their Internet Explorer the default brwoser on involuntary Windows installations, there won't be a usable keyboard shortcut, that works on all laptops. Windows Key and E has been hijacked by Microsoft for a shortcut to "My Computer", which doesn't make sense, but seems to be just a frantic and thoughtless hijacking before anybody could assign that for the Euro sign. Windows key and o is not assigned yet and COULD be used, but it will take a third party add-on to accomplish that. Until then, if you don't have a numeric keypad or regular keyboard, you are stuck with one of the two methods, that I listed. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. "This place," the guide told them, "is 1600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years." "Wow," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same landlord I have." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Turn Cheap Steak Into Amazing Steak I love a really good fillet mignon from time to time, but my purse never does! Here is a super easy way to make even the cheapest cuts of steak into a velvety delight, using just salt and sugar. Salt draws out the liquids in the meat, then as it sits, it goes back in. Sugar is a natural tenderizer and also helps to offset the salt. I don't really measure it, I just sprinkle a half and half mixture of salt and sugar to coat the meat. The thicker the cut, the more to pour on. Flip over and coat the other side with salt and sugar. Let it sit out at room temperature for an hour. Rinse off the salt and sugar really well. Pat dry. Season with pepper (if you like) and cook it in a hot oiled pan on both sides. Believe me, this works for even the chewiest cuts. Sometimes my husband will challenge me by buying a horrible steak, I always win! PS: Please don't overcook your meats. It's not right! ;) By attosa [120] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ "Darling," said the young man to his new bride. "Now that we are married, do you think you will be able to live on my modest income?" "Of course, dearest, no trouble," she answered. "But what will you live on?" ___________________________________________________

buzzed by F-18s Can you imagine being there?
____________________________________________________ One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto the street at the end of the ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting into her car. The driver placed the bucket of chicken on top of her car, got in and drove off with the bucket still on top of her car. So the trooper decided to pull her over and perform a community service by giving the driver her chicken. He pulled her over, walked up to the car, pulled the bucket off the roof and offered it to the driver. The driver looked at the trooper and said, "No thanks, I just bought some." ____________________________________________________
25 What a marvelous world we live in.

Today, Sept 18, in
1759 The French formally surrendered Quebec to the British. 
1763 It was reported, by the Boston Gazette, that the first 
 piano had been built in the United States. The instrument 
 was named the spinet and was made by John Harris. 
1789 Alexander Hamilton negotiated and secured the first 
 loan for the United States. The Temporary Loan of 1789 
 was repaid on June 8, 1790 at the sum of $191,608.81. 
1810 Chile declared its independence from Spain. 
1830 The "Tom Thumb", the first locomotive built in America, 
 raced a horse on a nine-mile course. The horse won when 
 the locomotive had some mechanical difficulties. 
1837 Tiffany & Co. was founeded in New York City. 
1850 The Fugitive Slave Act was declared by the U.S. Congress. 
 The act allowed slave owners to claim slaves that had escaped 
 into other states. 
1851 The first issue of "The New York Times" was published. 
1891 Harriet Maxwell Converse became the first white woman to 
 ever be named chief of an Indian tribe. The tribe was the 
 Six Nations Tribe at Towanda Reservation in New York. 
1895 Daniel David Palmer gave the first chiropractic adjustment. 
1947 The United States Air Force was established as a separate 
 military branch by the National Security Act. 
1965 The first episode of "I Dream of Jeannie" was shown on 
 NBC-TV. The last show was televised on September 1, 1970. 
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush said that he would send 
 warplanes to escort U.N. helicopters that were searching for 
 hidden Iraqi weapons if it became necessary. 
1994 Haiti's military leaders agreed to depart on October 15th. 
 This action averted a U.S.-led invasion to force them out 
 of power. 
1997 Ted Turner, U.S. Media magnate, announced that over the 
 next ten years he would give $1 billion to the United Nations. 
1998 The FDA approved a once-a-day easier-to-swallow medication 
 for AIDS patients. 
2015  smiled.


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How big a thumbdrive is needed to run Linux from it? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, September 17

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Idaho Burglar, who was busted when he returned for lost keys and phone. Details at Boneheads Today, September 17, in 1394 In France, Charles VI published an ordinance that expelled all Jews from France. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Few people can see genius in someone who has offended them. [info][add][mail][note]Robertson Davies ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ He's teaching her arithmetic, He said it was his mission, He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition." And as he added smack by smack In silent satisfaction, She sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction." Then he kissed her, she kissed him, Without an explanation, And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication." Then Dad appeared upon the scene and Made a quick decision. He kicked that kid three blocks away And said, "That's long division!" ______________________________________________________ After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking helped. His father, in an attempt to calm him down, palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to pull it from Sammy's ear. Sammy was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it, then cheerfully demanded, "Do it again, Daddy!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Växjö in Southern Sweden ______________________________________________________ The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?" "Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue. "Do you have laryngitis?" the man asked sympathetically. "Nope," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Caleb Shay Funke, 22, Twin Falls, Idaho
Idaho Burglar, who was busted when he returned for lost keys and phone. September 15, 2015 A Twin Falls burglary suspect returned to the scene of the crime Saturday looking for keys and a cellphone he dropped during the heist, police say. Caleb Shay Funke, 22, was arraigned Monday in Twin Falls County Magistrate Court on two charges of burglaries and one charge of grand-theft. A woman called police about 2:30 p.m. saying she’d arrived home on the 200 block of Sixth Avenue North to find her back door open and her house ransacked, police said. Cupboards were open, books and paper were scattered, a file-cabinet was pried open and an unfamiliar cellphone was left on the bed. A silver 2007 Chevrolet Cobalt was parked behind the house, where police said they could see cash and jewelry on the passenger seat. While officers were still at the house investigating, a woman drove up behind the car and dropped Funke off, police said. Funke told officers he let a friend borrow the car and the keys ended up locked inside, court documents said. He said he had arranged for a locksmith to come unlock the car. As Funke spoke with police, a resident of the burglarized house came out with some keys, saying they didn’t belong to anyone in the house, court documents said. An officer unlocked and started the car with the keys. Funke said he wasn’t the burglar but knew who was. His story didn’t add up, so police arrested him. When officers patted him down they found a piece of jewelry in his pocket belonging to the homeowner. Her cellphone was in his car, police said. Police say Funke is also a suspect in two other Saturday burglaries. A house on the 500 block of Washington Street North had a window broken out and was left in disarray, court documents said. Footprints found near both the garage and the backdoor matched the slippers Funke was wearing when he was arrested, police said. Another house was burglarized in the 1000 block of Wirsching Avenue West, police said. The homeowner’s daughter said she noticed bags of change missing and police found checks and a credit card from the home inside the Cobalt, court documents said. In an interview with police, Funke admitted to being involved with all three burglaries, court documents said. He said he burglarized the house on Wirsching Avenue and was a lookout for a friend for the Sixth Avenue burglary. Funke said he accidentally broke the window on Washington Street and was only there because he thought his friends lived there, police said. After climbing into the house he figured his friends must have moved and left without taking anything, court documents said. Funke’s bond was set at $5,000 and a preliminary hearing is scheduled for Sept. 25.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ellen Re: How big a thumb drive for Linux Dear Webby, You mentioned that Linux can be booted from a thumb drive. How big a thumb drive would I need? Ellen Dear Ellen A 2 GB thumb drive or camera chip is enough. 2 GB are getting almost impossible to find and should be left for people on XP machines, who can't use anything bigger without a lot of hassle. The cheapest and still commonly available camera chips are 4 GB. That gives you over 2 GB of left over space for storing files. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Bumper sticker on an RV with a Florida license plate: If you think we can't vote, wait till you see us drive. ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bar Soap as Emergency Deodorant I remember 'umpteen' years ago my fifth grade assistant teacher told us girls, "If you're ever out of deodorant and need an emergency fix, wet a bar of soap and rub it under your arms." I have used this tip several times over the years and it really does work to help curb the odor - when in a pinch!:) This is also a good way to avoid using the aluminums found in antiperspirants. Source: Thanks to Ms Brown.:) By Geee [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A husband visited a marriage counselor and said, "When we were first married, I would come home from the office, my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking. Now after ten years it's all different. I come home, the dog brings the slippers and my wife runs around barking." "Why complain?" said the counselor, "You're still getting the same service." ___________________________________________________

man "hits on" wife after surgery
____________________________________________________ After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a good home, but I want to stay with you guys!" ____________________________________________________
25 This is just weird!

Today, Sept 17, in
1394 In France, Charles VI published an ordinance that expelled 
 all Jews from France. 
1778 The United States signed its first treaty with a Native 
 American tribe, the Delaware Nation. 
1787 The Constitution of the United States of America was 
 signed by delegates at the Constitutional Convention. 
1862 The Battle of Antietam took place during the American 
 Civil War. More than 23,000 men were killed, wounded, or 
 missing. The Rebel advance was ended with heavy losses 
 to both armies. 
1872 Phillip W. Pratt patented a version of the sprinkler 
 system. 
1911 The first transcontinental airplane flight started. It 
 took C.P. Rogers 82 hours to fly from New York City to 
 Pasadena, CA. 
1930 Construction on Boulder Dam, later renamed Hoover Dam, 
 began in Black Canyon, near Las Vegas, NV. 
1932 Sir Malcolm Campbell set a speed record when he reached 
 276.27 mph over a half mile. 
1937 At Mount Rushmore, Abraham Lincoln's face was dedicated. 
1939 The Soviet Union invaded Poland. Germany had invaded 
 Poland on September 1. 
1944 Operation "Market Garden" was launched by Allied 
 paratroopers during World War II. The landing point was 
 behind German lines in the Netherlands. 
1962 U.S. space officials announced the selection of 
 Neil A. Armstrong and eight others as new astronauts. 
1972 "M*A*S*H" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1976 NASA unveiled the space shuttle Enterprise in Palmdale, CA. 
1983 Vanessa Williams, as Miss New York, became the first 
 black woman to be crowned Miss America. 
1984 9,706 immigrants became naturalized citizens when they 
 were sworn in by U.S. Vice-President George Bush in Miami, FL. 
 It was the largest group to become U.S. citizens. 
1984 Gordon P. Getty was named the richest person in the U.S. 
 His fortune was $4.1 billion. 
1988 Lt. Gen. Prosper Avril declared himself president of 
 Haiti after President Henri Hamphy was ousted. 
1992 Lawrence Walsh called a halt to his probe of the Iran-Contra
 scandal. The investigation had lasted 5 1/2 years. 
1995 Hong Kong held its last legislative election before being 
 taken over by China in 1997. 
1998 The U.S. announced a plan that would compensate victims in 
 the Kenya and Tanzania U.S. Embassy bombings on August 7, 1998. 
2015  smiled.


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Audio on top of email 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Wednesday, September 16

Thank you, Betty

Have FUN!
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______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an English man jailed for having stun gun disguised as mobile phone after police accidently set it off Details at Boneheads Today, September 15, in 1916 During the Battle of the Somme, in France, tanks were first used in warfare when the British rolled them onto the battlefields. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ >From Jim, received yesterday, 9/15/2015 On this day in 1950 I, with thousands of others, made the invasion of Korea at Inchon. I was a Combat Corpsman with the First Marine Division. Needless to say, it was a long and uncomfortable day but I can see now that it was used to toughen us up to worse days which were to come. They came, and they were worse. Please pray for our veterans. We all need your prayers, support and understanding. God Bless! Jim Crismon HMCM USN RET. Jim is one of the "Frozen Chosen", who survived the 50/51 winter battles at the Chosen Reservoir, where they were surrounded by ten divisions of Chinese soldiers, but managed to break out and fight their way to Ham Hung and rejoined the main part of the US forces. ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An Easterner was riding with a rancher over a blistering and almost barren stretch of West Texas, when a strange bird scurried in front of them. Asked by the Easterner what the bird was, the rancher replied, "That's a bird of paradise." The stranger from the East rode on in silence for a moment, then said, "Long way from home, isn't it??" The Easterner had to walk the rest of the way. ______________________________________________________ Petra had forgotten to get her estrogen patch prescription refilled, and soon the symptoms of menopause--hot flashes, forgetfulness, irritability, short temper, bossiness, aches and pains, etc., etc. returned. Eventually she wound up at the drugstore and was telling the pharmacist all about her problems. After listening patiently, he asked, "So, how many people asked you to get this refilled?" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One Sunday during the morning church service our pastor was preaching away and his sermon came to a high point and he asked the question: "What is your problem?" Just as he asked the question a little boy was in the isle, he had started toward the bathroom. Thinking that the preacher was talking to him, the little guy just stopped, looked up at him, and said, "I gotta pee." To say the least the laughter took over and the sermon was never the same after that! ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Paul Neaverson, 61, Rainham England
English bank robber told teller to put the money into his bank account. Paul Neaverson walked in to a branch of NatWest in Rainham and held a knife to the cashier's neck. Neaverson then asked the cashier to transfer the money into his own account. He gave the cashier his own bank details, apparently because he needed money to book a flight to Corfu for a job interview as a golf coach. Somehow the cashier managed stifle her laughter long enough to hit the panic button. Neaverson fled – but only went as far as a branch of HSBC just 400ft away. He tried to hold up that bank too. Danny Moore, defending, told the court that his client has never been in trouble before and described his attempt to rob the banks as "ridiculous". He said: "It was ridiculous. It only had one ending – and here it is. He has led a law-abiding life and now finds himself staring down the barrel of a very long sentence indeed." Neaverson pleaded guilty to two attempted robberies and possession of a blade. He has been jailed for two years.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Dan Re: Audio on top of mail Dear Webby, I would like to place walter winchel's opening [good evening mr.and misses america and all ships at sea] as an opening on email with sound.is this possible? he can be found on you tube dan Dear Dan You can certainly paste that on top of your email, but I would not advise auto-noise like some of the most obnoxious of spammers use. You would get yourself permanently blocked by almost everybody. Almost nobody likes sudden noise blaring out, just when the boss is walking by. Forget that idea! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Trina is very attentive when she goes out on a date. Lately, at a movie she was overheard to say: Trina: "Can you see, dear ? Date: "Yes" Trina: "Is your seat comfortable ?" Date: "Yes" Trina: "Is there a draft on you ?" Date: "No" Trina: "Good ! Let's change seats." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bar Soap as Emergency Deodorant I remember 'umpteen' years ago my fifth grade assistant teacher told us girls, "If you're ever out of deodorant and need an emergency fix, wet a bar of soap and rub it under your arms." I have used this tip several times over the years and it really does work to help curb the odor - when in a pinch!:) This is also a good way to avoid using the aluminums found in antiperspirants. Source: Thanks to Ms Brown.:) By Geee [1] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two priests were talking. The older one said to the younger, "When you came to our church I wondered how your new ideas were going to work. "When you replaced the front pews with bucket seats, I had my doubts. But now at every mass, the front seats are filled with young people. "When you 'jazzed up' the choir by singing new and peppy songs, I was afraid it might offend the older folks, but we have more people in church now than ever. "When you wanted to put in the drive-through confessional, I have to admit I thought you'd lost it. But more people are coming to confession than ever. "However, the neon sign out front that reads: 'Toot 'n tell or go to Hell' has to go! ___________________________________________________

Don't go to the shark's house!
____________________________________________________ "I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power outage caused the lights to flicker overhead. 'That,' he sighed, 'must be her checking out now.' " ____________________________________________________
25 Natural wonders that will inspire you to travel.

Today, Sept 16, in
1400 Owain Glyndwr was proclaimed Prince of Wales after rebelling 
 against English rule. He was the last Welsh-born Prince of Wales. 
1620 The Mayflower departed from Plymouth, England. The ship 
 arrived at Provincetown, MA, on November 21st and then at Plymouth, 
 MA, on December 26th. There were 102 passengers onboard. 
1630 The village of Shawmut changed its name to Boston. 
1782 The Great Seal of the United States was impressed on document 
 to negotiate a prisoner of war agreement with the British. It was 
 the first official use of the impression. 
1810 The Mexicans began a revolt against Spanish rule. Miguel Hidalgo 
 y Costilla, a Catholic priest of Spanish descent, declared Mexico's 
 independence from Spain in the small town of Dolores. 
1893 The "Cherokee Strip" in Oklahoma was swarmed by hundreds of 
 thousands of settlers. 
1908 General Motors was founded by William Crapo "Billy" Durant. 
 The company was formed by merging the Buick and Olds car companies.
1940 U.S. President Roosevelt signed into law the Selective Training 
 and Service Act, which set up the first peacetime military draft 
 in U.S. history. 
1974 U.S. President Ford announced a conditional amnesty program 
 for draft-evaders and deserters during the Vietnam War. 
1976 The Episcopal Church formally approved women to be ordained 
 as priests and bishops. 
1982 In west Beirut, the massacre of hundreds of Palestinian men, 
 women and children began in refugee camps of the Lebanese  
 Christian militiamen. 
1987 The Montreal Protocol was signed by 24 countries in an effort 
 to save the Earth's ozone layer by reducing emissions of harmful 
 chemicals by the year 2000. 
1994 Exxon Corporation was ordered by federal jury to pay $5 billion 
 in punitive damages to the people harmed by the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill. 
1994 Two astronauts from the space shuttle Discovery went on the first 
 untethered spacewalk in 10 years. 
1998 Universal paid $9 million for the rights to the Dr. Seuss classics 
 "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and "Oh, the Places You'll Go." 
2015  smiled.


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Windows search alternative 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Monday, September 14

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a British Mom arrested for keeping 12 Bags Of Cocaine for Daughter's Birthday Blowout Details at Boneheads Today, September 13, in 1812 Moscow was set on fire by Russians after Napoleon Bonaparte's troops invaded. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ I just need enough to tide me over until I need more. --- Bill Hoest I once said cynically of a politician, 'He'll doublecross that bridge when he comes to it.' --- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A woman goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. The obit editor informs her that there is a charge of 50 cents per word. She pauses, reflects, and then says well, then, let it read "Fred Brown died." Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a seven word minimum for all obituaries. She thinks it over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read: 'Fred Brown died: golf clubs for sale.'" ______________________________________________________ Steve wasn't feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Well, Steve, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking." "To be honest with you, Doc," said Steve, "I don't deserve the best. What's the SECOND best?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Hillsboro Beach, Florida ______________________________________________________ An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the day when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "everyone's fine. It's me. I've quit drinking." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nicola Austen, 37, Maidstone, England
Mom arrested for keeping 12 Bags Of Cocaine for Daughter's Birthday Blowout When Nicola Austen's daughter turned 18 in February, the 37-year-old decided they should celebrate in high style. So, Austen (pictured above) purchased 12 bags of cocaine weighing a total of 8.65 grams, according to prosecutors at Maidstone Crown Court in England. Austen was sentenced earlier this week to a nine-month suspended sentence and 250 hours of unpaid work, South West News Service reports. Prosecutor Craig Evans said Austen and her daughter planned to celebrate the girl's 18th birthday in London. “They were going to London in a limousine and she wanted to make sure they had a good time,” Evans told the court. But mother and daughter missed out on the London high life. On Jan. 31, police stopped by to talk with Austen, who had six previous convictions, one for possessing amphetamine in 2010. After a police dog at the house sniffed out the cocaine, Austen admitted to officers that she got it for her daughter's birthday celebration, according to the Telegraph. Despite the previous convictions, the judge decided not to send Austen to jail because she has a young son who would suffer if she were incarcerated.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Irene Re: Windows search Dear Webby, The built in Windows search is a piece of you know what. The simple mode is asa fragile as a screensaver and quits if a fly lands on the mouse, and the "See More Results" hogs so much memory, that I have to reboot afterwards. It's pathetic! I can't imagine you using it. What do you use instead? Irene Dear Irene I agree with you wholeheartedly. I use SEARCH EVERYTHING. You get it free at http://www.voidtools.com/ Use the x86 version unless you have a 2 TB hard drive full of files. The x86 version uses less RAM. SEARCH EVERYTHING is so good, I would bet that Microsoft will include it in Windows 12. It takes a bit of getting used to. For example, you should specify what type of file you are looking for. If you are looking for a program, select "Executable". If you look for a picture, select "Picture". That REALLY speeds up the search, especially if you have huge hard drives. You can leave it set to "everything". It is still a twenty times faster than the Windows search, but noticeably slower than when you narrow it down to a category. Above all, it is free! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed Little Johnny in the chair. "I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes." When Little Johnny's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you." "That wasn't my daddy," said Little Johnny. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, kid, we're gonna get a free haircut!'" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy Ice Cream Shell Coating Just 2 ingredients from your kitchen and in 15 seconds you can make an ice cream shell coating. It's healthier and inexpensive! Approximate Time: 15 seconds Ingredients: 1 tsp Nutella or other hazelnut spread 1/2 tsp coconut oil your favorite brand of ice cream Steps: Just mix the Nutella hazelnut spread into the coconut oil at a 2 to 1 ratio. I use 1 teaspoon hazelnut to 1/2 teaspoon coconut oil for one serving. Spoon on top of a bowl of ice cream. I like to spread it out thinly all over the top of the ice cream. That's it! It will start freezing up to form a delicious shell coating within a minute or two. So yummy and the coconut oil makes it a healthier alternative. By Donna [279] If you have read the ingreadients of that hazelnut flavored sugar and margarine spread, or if you are a diabetic and don't want all that much sugar and oil, an alternative is to take half a square of Baker's Semi Sweet chocolate and half a tsp butter, hazelnut-butter, or margarine in a round bottomed cup, microwave it for 50 seconds and immediately stir it with a plastic spoon, and then pour it over two to four ice cream helpings. Done. If you have coated too many helpings, they can be put into the freezer for next treat time. You can, of course, also use peanut butter or almond butter instead of margarine. This coating also works great as a topping for cake. The only thing to keep in mind is to work fast. Everything has to be ready. Reheating a chocolate topping is not a good idea, it can turn coarse and rough looking. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ and a friend were invited to a pot- luck party. Everybody brought a dish. When it came time to serve dessert, the person who prepared it, said the recipe was called "Better Than Sex Cake." After 's friend tasted it, she blurted out, "I sure feel sorry for the person who named this cake!" ___________________________________________________
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtDX1Vl-Jxk"> src="http://webby.com/humor/Noella-back-gold.jpg" align=left>
Victor Borge
____________________________________________________ "Electricity originates inside clouds. There, it forms into lightning, which is attracted to the Earth by golfers. After entering the ground, the electricity hardens into coal, which, when dug up by power companies and burned in big ovens called 'generators,' turns back into electricity. The power company sells it to consumers who use TV sets to transform it into commercials for beer, which passes through the consumers and back into the ground, thus completing what is known as a 'circuit.'" ____________________________________________________
I love these 3D sidewalk chalk paintings, they look almost real.

Today, Sept 13, in
1812 Moscow was set on fire by Russians after Napoleon 
 Bonaparte's troops invaded. 
1814 Francis Scott Key wrote the "Star-Spangled Banner," a 
 poem originally known as "Defense of Fort McHenry," 
 after witnessing the British bombardment of Fort McHenry, 
 MD, during the War of 1812. The song became the official 
 U.S. national anthem on March 3, 1931. 
1847 U.S. forces took control of Mexico City under the 
 leadership of General Winfield Scott. 
1866 George K. Anderson patented the typewriter ribbon. 
1899 In New York City, Henry Bliss became the first automobile 
 fatality. 
1901 U.S. President William McKinley died of gunshot wounds 
 inflicted by an assassin. Vice President Theodore Roosevelt, 
 at age 42, succeeded him. 
1915 Carl G. Muench received a patent for Insulit, the first 
 sound-absorbing material to be used in buildings. 
1938 The VS-300 made its first flight. The craft was based 
 on the helicopter technology patented by Igor Sikorsky. 
1940 The Selective Service Act was passed by the U.S. 
 Congress providing the first peacetime draft in the USA. 
1959 Luna II, a Soviet space probe, became the first man-made 
 object on the moon when it crashed on the surface. 
1960 The Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries 
 (OPEC) was founded. The core members were Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, 
 Saudi Arabia, and Venezuela. 
1963 Mary Ann Fischer gave birth to America's first surviving 
 quintuplets. 
1972 "The Waltons" premiered on CBS-TV. 
1975 Pope Paul VI declared Mother Elizabeth Ann Bayley Seton 
 the first U.S.-born saint. 
1978 "Mork & Mindy" premiered on ABC-TV. 
1983 The U.S. House of Representatives voted 416-0 in a 
 resolution condemning the Soviet Union for the shooting down 
 of a Korean jet on September 1. 
1984 Joe Kittinger became the first person to fly a balloon 
 solo across the Atlantic Ocean. 
1987 Tony Magnuson cleared 9.5 feet above the top of the U-ramp 
 and set a new skateboard high jump record. 
1998 Israel announced that they had successfully tested its 
 Arrow-2 missile defense system. The system successfully 
 destroyed a simulated target. 
2001 Nintendo released the GameCube home video game console 
 in Japan. 
2001 The FBI released the names of the 19 hijackers that had 
 taken part in the September 11 terror attacks on the U.S. 
2009 Greyhound UK began operations as an hourly service between 
 London and Portsmouth or Southampton.
2015  smiled.


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Is Spyhunter4 legit? 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Sunday, September 13

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Florida burglar caught by webcam watched in Canada Details at Boneheads Today, September 13, in 2001 U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell named Osama bin Laden as the prime suspect in the terror attacks on the United States on September 11, 2001. Limited commercial flights resumed in the U.S. and Canada for the first time in two days. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? JOSE: Don't bite any. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". ELLEN: I is... TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am." ELLEN: All right, have it your way.... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." ______________________________________________________ When the car engine developed a slight knock, Joe asked his wife if she had bought high octane or regular gas, but she couldn't remember. "You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That could account for the roughness of the engine." "No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly. "Well, how much did it cost?" asked the husband probingly. "It cost the same as always," Nancy replied. "I told the man to put in the usual ten dollars worth." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Janina for her Sea Isle City beach picture: ______________________________________________________ Michael was talking to Roy one day, and said, "My wife suggested that I take up a new sport this summer." Roy said, "Wow, that's nice. It shows that she has your interests at heart. Did she make any suggestions?" Michael replied, "As a matter of fact, she did. By the way, do you know how to play this Russian Roulette"? ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Thomas Hinton, 45, Fort Myers Floriduh
Florida burglar caught by webcam watched in Canada A Canadian couple watched via web cam as a man broke into their Florida vacation home on Fort Myers Beach before turning the video over to authorities. The surveillance tape helped Lee County sheriff's deputies arrest 45-year-old Thomas Hinton on Sunday, the day after the burglary. He's charged with burglary and grand theft and was jailed on $160,000 bond. The News-Press of Fort Myers (http://newspr.es/1OykK9O ) reports the couple reported the crime from their home in Ontario, Canada, on Saturday night after seeing the man on a web cam. Deputies later learned the man might also be connected to other area burglaries. A deputy spotted the suspect Sunday and arrested him. A hearing is scheduled for Oct. 5.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Alexa Re: Spyhunter4 Dear Webby, Some page recommended Spyhunter4, so I tried it. It looked quite slick, a bit too slick if you ask me, and it seemed to find all kinds of stuff that I knew I didn't have. Then to remove the stuff it claimed it found they wanted big money. No free trial. Is that Spyhunter4 legit? Alexa Dear Alexa Just for you, I tried it myself. Yes, it did indeed claim it found all kinds of stuff that I knew I don't have. If Malwarebytes and McAfee say the machine is clean, then it IS clean. Spyhunter4 claimed there were 298 infections. Well, I knew that was totally phony. Just for fun I clickd on FIX, and like you wrote, they wanted money to delete the items in their phony list. Naturally, I did not give them any money, but used the REVO uninstaller, in advanced mode, to get rid of every trace of Spyhunter4. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a Jewish rabbi were discussing when life begins. "Life begins," said the priest, "at the moment of fertilization. That is when God instills the spark of life into the fetus." "We believe," said the minister, "that life begins at birth, because that is when the baby becomes an individual and is capable of making its own decisions and must learn about sin." "You're both wrong," said the rabbi. "Life begins when the children have graduated and moved out of the house." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Epsom Salts for Inexpensive Fertilizer Instead of purchasing multiple, or artificial/chemical, fertilizers we use Epsom salt for everything! A lot cheaper and simpler than the individual fertilizers for vegetables, flowers, and roses in particular. It is used in a ratio of 1 tablespoon of Epsom salt to one gallon of water. By Donna Epsom salt is just Magnesium Sulfate. Plants need Nitrogen, Phosphorus, Potassium and quite a few other elements, including some metals. Have a look at the ingredients in, for example, Miracle Grow. That is what the plants need. Just Epsom Salts is like trying to live on donuts and nothing else. You can get composted sheep manure for $2-$5 per bag. Soak that in a barrel of water and then use that for fertilizing to supply organically what is missing when you use just the NOT organic Epsom Salt. Have FUN! DearWebby ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Two voices, male and female, on an overnight "red eye" plane flight: "I think everyone's asleep, let's go" Sound of steps. "This one's empty. No one is looking. You go in first" "It's a bit cramped, let me sit down" "Have you got the condom? Quick, put it on" Sniff sniff "Ah perfume! You think of everything." "This is great..." (long sigh) Static on the loud speaker then a new voice. "This is the captain speaking, to those two people in the rear toilet. We know what you're doing, and it is expressly forbidden by the Government that YOU elected. Now, put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector!" --------------- Actually, the easily visible smoke detector is just a decoy and doesn't work. There is usually another one up in the light fixture. If you are on a long flight and need a smoke, do it like the flight crew: Crouch or kneel in front of the toilet. You will hear wind noise from air escaping down the toilet. That air goes straight outside, and does not go past any smoke detectors or past the noses of anybody who might object to your smoking. The flight crew usually prefers that you do that, rather than get grouchy at them. ___________________________________________________

Grinding the Crack
____________________________________________________ A young woman decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her friend next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size. "Buffy," she said, "how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?" "Twenty," said Buffy. So the girl bought the twenty rolls of paper and did the job, but she had 12 rolls left over. "Buffy," she said. "I bought twenty rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 12 left over!" "Amazing!" said Buffy. "So did I." ____________________________________________________
Watch a slideshow of beautiful destinations.

Today, Sept 13, in
1759 The French were defeated by the British on the Plains 
 of Abraham in the final French and Indian War. 
1789 The United States Government took out its first loan. 
1847 U.S. forces took the hill Chapultepec during the 
 Mexican-American War. 
1862 During the American Civil War General Lee's Order No. 191 
 was found by federal soldiers in Maryland. 
1898 Hannibal Williston Goodwin patented celluloid 
 photographic film, which is used to make movies. 
1922 In El Azizia, Libya, the highest shade temperature was 
 recorded at 136.4 degrees Fahrenheit. 
1935 Aviator Howard Hughes, Jr., of Houston, set a new 
 airspeed record of 352 mph with his H-1 airplane 
 (Winged Bullet). 
1943 Chiang Kai-shek became the president of China. 
1959 The Soviet Union's Luna 2 became the first space probe 
 to reach the moon. It was launched the day before. 
1960 The U.S. Federal Communications Commission banned payola. 
1971 In New York, National Guardsmen stormed the Attica Correctional 
 Facility and put an end to the four-day revolt. A total of 43 
 people were killed in the final assault. A committee was 
 organized to investigate the riot on September 30, 1971. 
1977 The first diesel automobiles were introduced by GM. 
1981 U.S. Secretary of State Alexander M. Haig said the U.S. had 
 physical evidence that Russia and its allies used poisonous 
 biological weapons in Laos, Cambodia and Afghanistan. 
1988 Forecasters reported that Hurricane Gilbert's barometric 
 pressure measured 26.13. It was the strongest hurricane ever 
 recorded in the Western Hemisphere. 
1993 Israel and Palestine signed their first major agreement. 
 Palestine was granted limited self-government in the Gaza 
 Strip and in Jericho. 
1994 U.S. President Bill Clinton signed a $30 billion crime 
 bill into law. 
1998 The New York Times closed its Web site after hackers 
 added offensive material. 
2001 U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell named Osama bin Laden 
 as the prime suspect in the terror attacks on the United States 
 on September 11, 2001. Limited commercial flights resumed in 
 the U.S. and Canada for the first time in two days. 
2015  smiled.


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Uninstaller 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Saturday, September 12

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to a Connecticut man caught driving 112 Mph en route to court to answer prior speeding ticket Details at Boneheads Today, September 12, in 1873 The first practical typewriter was sold to customers. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ If the human mind was simple enough to understand, we'd be too simple to understand it. --- Emerson Pugh Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter because nobody listens. --- Nick Diamos "Now there's an updated version of the three R's: Readin', 'Remote control handling', and Replacin' the batteries in the remote control." --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The middle-aged man was shuffling along, bent over at the waist, as his wife helped him into the doctor's waiting room. A woman in the office viewed the scene in sympathy. "Arthritis with complications?" she asked. The wife shook her head, "Noooo,...she explained, "he tried to move the wet laundry from the washer into the dryer all by himself." ______________________________________________________ Son: "Here's my report card, Dad, along with one of your old ones I found in the attic." Dad: "Well, Son, you're right. Your report card isn't any better than mine was. I guess the only fair thing to do is give you exactly the same as what my father gave me when I brought that one home. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Janina for her 9/11 picture: Cape May, NJ lighthouse, with flags at half mast for 9/11 ______________________________________________________ A very dirty, grubby little boy came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I?" Ready to play the game, she said, "I don't know! Who are you?" "WOW!" cried the boy. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I am so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!" ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Reported by Noella An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Seth Tichenor, 33, Vermont, Connecticut
Connecticut man caught driving 112 Mph en route to court to answer prior speeding ticket A Connecticut man on his way to court to “take care of a speeding ticket” was arrested yesterday after cops clocked his car going 112 miles an hour, according to police. Seth Tichenor, 33, was arrested Wednesday afternoon by Vermont State Police officers who stopped his car on Interstate 89. Tichenor, seen in the mug shot, was pulled over after other drivers called 911 to report a “vehicle traveling in excess of 100 mph and weaving in and out of traffic.” Cops subsequently clocked Tichenor’s car going nearly 50 miles above the road's posted 65 mph limit. Tichenor, who “was headed to traffic court to take care of a speeding ticket,” was busted for negligent driving and speeding, police reported. He is scheduled for an October 27 court appearance. ----------------- I used to drive like that, but outgrew it.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Moe Re: Revo Uninstaller Dear Webby, Think you right about uninstalling software. But Revo has 3 or 4 levels. I use the one above Safe mode. Get more registry entries to delete. Then can compact the Registry. Revo will usually use the target System's own uninstall as first step. Funny when the deleted system warns user it will no longer work. But one important step in Revo is to ignore the old system's Reboot Now display. Must decline and completete the Revo Uninstall process that rids PC of the rest of the bits. And pieces. And run CrapCleaner to check for more Registry junk. Plus usually defrag the disk afterwards. But prior to re-installations. Moe Thanks Moe! Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70. They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man was completely done in, and he noted with some resentment that his senior was fresh as a daisy. "I don't understand," he marveled, "how you can listen to complaining patients from morning 'til night, on a day like this, and still look so spry and un- bothered when it's over?" The older analyst replied:"Sorry, I can't hear a thing. The battery in my hearing aid went dead a few years ago." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com DIY Workout Foam Roller Foam rollers are all the rage now for after workout muscle pain relief, therapy, and injury prevention. I bought mine online for around $30 and cannot be without it. However, I'm not willing to pay that price over and over again every time I travel and don't want to carry it around with me. Here's how to make your own for under $5. Approximate Time: 3 minutes Yield: 1 foam roller Supplies: 1 6 inch x 2 foot PVC pipe 1 towel or yoga mat 2 large rubberbands Steps: Take your towel or yoga mat and carefully roll it around the PVC pipe on the floor. Make sure there are no wrinkles. Secure the towel or mat on to the pipe with your two large rubber bands. The thicker the towel or mat, the more gentle it will be on your muscles. If you want a gentle massage, keep adding layers of fabric. Get on and roll away! By attosa [119] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ A professor was giving a lecture on company slogans in a college advertising and marketing class. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'Come fly the friendly skies'?" "United." Joe answered. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company uses the slogan, 'Just do it'?" John answered, "Mom." ___________________________________________________

Slinningsbålet 2010 Bonfire World record!
____________________________________________________ Mrs. Jones is having her house painted, and her husband comes home from work and leans against the freshly painted wall.The next day, she says to the painter, "You wanna see where my husband put his hand last night? "He sighs and says, "Look, lady, I got a tough day's work ahead of me. Why don't you just make us a cup of tea?" ____________________________________________________
What a beautiful library in Austria!

Today, Sept 12, in
1609 English explorer Henry Hudson sailed down what is now 
 known as the Hudson River. 
1814 During the War of 1812, the Battle of North Point was 
 fought in Maryland. 
1873 The first practical typewriter was sold to customers. 
1878 Patent litigation involving the Bell Telephone Company 
 against Western Union Telegraph Company and Elisha Gray 
 began. The issues were over various telephone patents. 
1914 The first battle of Marne ended when the allied forces 
 stopped the German offensive in France. 
1916 Adelina and August Van Buren finished the first successful 
 transcontinental motorcycle tour to be attempted by two women. 
 They started in New York City on July 5, 1916. 
1918 During World War I, At the Battle of St. Mihiel, U.S. Army 
 personnel operate tanks for the first time. The tanks were 
 French-built. 
1922 The Episcopal Church removed the word "Obey" from the 
 bride's section of wedding vows. 
1938 In a speech, Adolf Hitler demanded self-determination for 
 the Sudeten Germans in Czechoslovakia. 
1940 The Lascaux paintings were discovered in France. The cave 
 paintings were 17,000 years old and were some of the best 
 examples of art from the Paleolithic period. 
1943 During World War II, Benito Mussolini was taken by German 
 paratroopers from the Italian government that was holding him. 
1944 U.S. Army troops entered Germany, near Trier, for the 
 first time during World War II. 
1953 U.S. Senator John F. Kennedy married Jacqueline Lee Bouvier. 
1953 Nikita Krushchev was elected as the first secretary of the 
 Communist Party of the Soviet Union. 
1954 "Lassie" made its television debut on CBS. The last show aired 
 on September 12, 1971. 
1963 The last episode of "Leave it to Beaver" was aired. The show 
 had debuted on October 4, 1957. 
1974 Violence occurred on the opening day of classes in Boston, MA, 
 due opposition to court-ordered school "busing." 
1974 Emperor Haile Selassie was taken out of power by Ethiopia's 
 military after ruling for 58 years. 
1977 South African anti-apartheid activist Stephen Biko died at the 
 age of 30. The student leader died while in police custody which 
 triggered an international outcry. 
1983 Arnold Schwarzenegger became a U.S. citizen. He had emigrated 
 from Austria 14 years earlier. 
1984 Michael Jordan signed a seven-year contract to play basketball 
 with the Chicago Bulls. 
1991 The space shuttle Discovery took off on a mission to deploy an 
 observatory that was to study the Earth's ozone layer. 
1992 Police in Peru captured Shining Path founder Abimael Guzman. 
2009 Steve Jobs announced that Apple's iTunes had 88% of the legal 
 U.S. music download market.
2015  smiled.


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Programs to speed up a PC 




Good Morning, ,
Today is Friday, September 11
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
Check out the 4 top versions at http://webby.com/mac There is one that even protects your phones, not just computers and tablets!
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Oregon man arrested for torching an apartment full of people Details at Boneheads Today, September 11, in 2001 In the U.S., four airliners were hijacked and were intentionally crashed by Muslim extremists. Two airliners hit the World Trade Center in New York City, NY. One airliner hit the Pentagon in Arlington, VA. Another airliner crashed into a field in Pennsylvania. About 3,000 innocent people were killed. Now various US universities are teaching that the 9/11 attacks were the fault of the US and that the al Qaeda terrorists are the real victims. See NY Post 2015/09/06/ 2012 Terrorists attacked the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya. The American ambassador and four former marines, who had been working nearby and rushed to defend the US ambassador, but were denied airborne support, were brutally murdered and ten others were injured. Airborne support was there and ready, but ordered to hold off. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton fell on her head a few weeks later and could not remember that order. The Marines will always remember. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ Anything too stupid to be said is sung. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778) Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement. --- Jim Horning ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy. Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV: "Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package." ______________________________________________________ was waiting on a London street corner. An attractive English girl was passing by when a gust of wind blew her dress above her waist. 's comment was: "A bit airy...." Hearing this, the girl replied indignantly, " 'ell yes! What did you expect ..... feathers?!" ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Classmates at college were lamenting the cost of long distance phone service and debating the relative advantages of AT&T, MCI, and Sprint. "I've found CTC to be the cheapest plan around," offered one. "CTC? Who are they?" "You know, like," she responded, "Call Them Collect." ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Reported by Noella An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Joshua Aaron Bigsby, 28, Portland, Oregon
Oregon man arrested for torching an apartment full of people An arson suspect is shown on surveillance video carrying a gasoline can moments before witnesses saw him use a lighter to start an apartment fire, according to prosecutors. Joshua Aaron Bigsby, was invited to the apartment after meeting the tenants late Friday and into early Saturday morning at the Fortune Star Lounge in southeast Portland, according to court documents filed by Multnomah County Deputy District Attorney Annie Shoen. A fight broke out between some of the tenants and Bigsby, who was asked to leave. Bigsby and “his companions” left, but he returned a short time later and forced his way into the apartment with “an old style lighter in one hand and a gas can in the other,” according to Shoen’s affidavit. One of the witnesses inside the apartment told investigators she watched the resident try to hold the door closed while Bigsby kicked in the door and poured gasoline on him, according to court documents. The witness said she saw Bigsby light the victim on fire. The woman retreated and jumped out a second-story window. At least four adults and two sleeping children, ages 3 and 6, were inside the apartment when the fire was set, according to court records. The video that investigators were able to get allegedly showed Bigsby carrying a gas can, go out of view of the camera, and then run back into view. Bigsby lost a shoe that appeared to be on fire. Investigators learned of Bigsby after some of the people who had met him at the lounge said he introduced himself as “Josh Bigsby,” according to court documents. Portland Fire & Rescue investigator Rich McGraw was able to compare Bigsby’s Facebook page and the surveillance and confirmed they appeared to be the same person, court documents state. By Sunday, officers learned of Bigsby’s address and took him into custody. Bigsby appeared in court Tuesday and a not guilty plea was entered on his behalf. He has been charged with 7 counts of first-degree arson and one count each of second-degree assault, first-degree burglary, first-degree criminal mischief, and recklessly endangering another person. He is scheduled to be back in court on September 16.
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Richi Re: Speeding up a computer Dear Webby, I am wondering if there are any programs that really speed up the computer?I have glary utilities but it doesn't seem to do the job,do those actually work and speed up the computer? Have a gr8 day.love your letter... tyvm Richi Dear Richi The Glary utilities may have some parts, that might be useful to you, but they are not known for speeding up anything. About the only one that does more than waste time and put on a cute song and dance is PC-Mechanic. See the blue banner on the Humor Letter. It actually did speed up my machine. No program will add more processor speed, RAM or hard drive space. There are some tricks you CAN use, though. UNinstall ALL programs, that you are not using. Most people have programs, that they once tried, or downloaded and were going to try some day. Get rid of them by using their UNinstaller, or uninstall them from the control panel. You can also use the free Revo Uninstaller They use space on the hard drive, and clutter up the registry, and almost every program also comes with a bunch of fonts. They are usually quite useless, but use RAM whenever that program is loaded. If it is a program that loads automatically, even though you haven't used it for many years, that is a total waste of RAM. Get rid of it! Then run a program like PC-Mechanic to get rid of their registry fragments. Once you have gotten rid of all the not used programs, defrag the hard drive. Defragler from the same people who gave us CrapCleaner, does a pretty good job, better than the built in Windows defrag. Keep in mind, during defrag everything slows down. It's AFTER the defrag that you will notice the improvement. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One day, a foreign family arrived in New York City. This was the first time out of their native village, and it didn't take long before the wife got lost. The husband asked a passerby for help and was told to go to the police and report it. When he got there, a police officer asked him for the wife's description. "What's that?" asked the man. "Well, you see a description is telling what something looks like. For example, my wife is 25-years-old, 5'11", 140 lbs, 38-25-36 measurements. Now, what can you tell me about your wife?" "Maria can wait, lets go look for yours!" ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Organizing Spice Tins I was at my friend Erin's house for dinner over the weekend and I noticed she had her spice tins displayed in this super creative way. She bought rare earth style magnets at Fred Meyer and stuck all her spice tins to the side of her fridge using 2 magnets per tin. Magnetic spice tins are really popular right now, but require buying a whole new set. Erin said she really liked the idea and had been thinking of purchasing them until she realized all her spices were all ready in tins. Another great tip she shared with me is that she turns the tins around when they are empty so she knows to buy more of that spice to fill the tin back up. This is a great way to organize your spice tins up and out of the way. I also love the way they look displayed on the side of the fridge. ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Joe's daughter's eighth grade history class planned a visit to the US capital. Unfortunately, she was not greatly enthusiastic about a trip that she considered too "educational" to be fun. However, on their return, Joe was pleased to hear how she and her classmates had been filled with awe and emotion as they gazed at the Washington Monument. "To think, dad," she marveled. "We were standing right where Forrest Gump stood." ___________________________________________________

Carolyn & Rookie (dancing dog)
____________________________________________________ A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together. But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone, "June." "Yes, this is June." "Will you marry me?" "Of course I will! By the way, who are you?" ____________________________________________________
A triple nave stave Church in Norway built between 1180 and 1250 AD. I wonder what kind of wood it was built of to last so many centuries.

Today, Sept 11, in
1297 Scotsman William Wallace defeated the English forces of 
 Sir Hugh de Cressingham at the Battle of Stirling Bridge. 
1499 French forces took over Milan, Italy. 
1609 Explorer Henry Hudson sailed into New York harbor and 
 discovered Manhattan Island and the Hudson River. 
1695 Imperial troops under Eugene of Savoy defeated the 
 Turks at the Battle of Zenta. 
1709 An Anglo-Dutch-Austrian force defeated the French 
 in the Battle of Malplaquet. 
1714 Spanish and French troops broke into Barcelona 
 and ended Catalonia's sovereignty after 13 months of seige. 
1777 American forces, under General George Washington, were 
 forced to retreat at the Battle of Brandywine Creek by 
 British forces under William Howe. The Stars and Stripes 
 (American flag) were carried for the first time in the battle. 
1814 The U.S. fleet defeated a squadron of British ships in 
 the Battle of Lake Champlain, VT. 
1842 1,400 Mexican troops captured San Antonio, TX. The Mexicans 
 retreated with prisoners. 
1855 The siege of Sevastopol ended when French, British and 
 Piedmontese troops captured the main naval base of the Russian 
 Black fleet in the Crimean War. 
1875 "Professor Tidwissel's Burglar Alarm" was featured in the 
 New York Daily Graphic and became the first comic strip to 
 appear in a newspaper. 
1877 The first comic-character timepiece was patented by the 
 Waterbury Clock Company. 
1883 The mail chute was patented by James Cutler. The new 
 device was first used in the Elwood Building in Rochester, NY. 
1897 A ten-week strike of coal workers in Pennsylvania, WV, and 
 Ohio came to an end. The workers won an eight-hour workday, 
 semi-monthly pay, and company stores were abolished. 
1904 The U.S. battleship Connecticut was launched in New York. 
1910 In Hollywood, the first commercially successful electric 
 bus line opened. 
1926 In Honolulu Harbor, HI, the Aloha Tower was dedicated. 
1936 Boulder Dam in Nevada was dedicated by U.S. President 
 Franklin D. Roosevelt by turning on the dam's first 
 hydroelectric generator. The dam is now called Hoover Dam. 
1941 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt gave orders to 
 attack any German or Italian vessels found in U.S. defensive 
 waters. The U.S. had not officially entered World War II at this time. 
1941 Charles A. Lindbergh brought on charges of anti-Semitism 
 with a speech in which he blamed "the British, the Jewish and 
 the Roosevelt administration" for trying to draw the United 
 States into World War II. 
1941 In Arlington, VA, the groundbreaking ceremony for the Pentagon 
 took place. 
1952 Dr. Charles Hufnagel successfully replaced a diseased aorta 
 valve with an artificial valve made of plastic. 
1959 The U.S. Congress passed a bill authorizing the creation of 
 food stamps. 
1965 The 1st Cavalry Division (Airmobile) arrived in South Vietnam 
 and was stationed at An Khe. 
1974 "Little House On The Prairie" made its television debut. 
1977 The Atari 2600 was released. It was originally sold as the 
 Atari VCS. The system was discontinued on January 1, 1992. 
1985 A U.S. satellite passed through the tail of the 
 Giacobini-Zinner comet. It was the first on-the-spot sampling 
 of a comet. 
1990 U.S. President Bush vowed "Saddam Hussein will fail" while 
 addressing Congress on the Persian Gulf crisis. In the speech 
 Bush spoke of an objective of a new world order "freer from 
 the threat of terror, stronger in the pursuit of justice, and 
 more secure in the quest for peace". 
1991 Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev announced that thousands 
of troops would be drawn out of Cuba. 
1997 Scotland voted to create its own Parliament after 290 years 
 of union with England. 
1998 Independent counsel Kenneth Starr sent a report to the U.S. 
 Congress accusing President Clinton of 11 possible impeachable 
 offenses. 
1999 The Wall Street Journal reported that Bayer Corp. had quit 
 putting a wad of cotton in their bottles of aspirin. Bayer had 
 actually stopped the practice earlier in the year. 
2001 In the U.S., four airliners were hijacked and were intentionally 
 crashed. Two airliners hit the World Trade Center, which collapsed 
 shortly after, in New York City, NY. One airliner hit the Pentagon 
 in Arlington, VA. Another airliner crashed into a field in 
 Pennsylvania. About 3,000 people were killed. 
2012 Terrorists attacked the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya. 
 The American ambassador and four former marines, who had been 
 working nearby and came to help but were denied airborne support,
 were brutally murdered and ten others were injured. Airborne 
 support was there and ready, but ordered to hold off.
2015  smiled.


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Too many fonts slowing down Windows 



Good Morning, ,
Today is Thursday, September 10.

Have FUN!
DerWebby

http://webby.com/mac.html With THIS LINK you get 50% off!
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______________________________________________________ Today's Bonehead Award goes to an Alaskan man who raped 2-year-old, killed elderly couple gets 359 years in prison Details at Boneheads Today, September 10, 1813 The first defeat of British naval squadron occurred in the Battle of Lake Erie during the War of 1812. The leader of the U.S. fleet sent the famous message "We have met the enemy, and they are ours" to U.S. General William Henry Harrison. More of what happened on this day in history at History ______________________________________________________ "Science fiction writers foresee the inevitable, and although problems and catastrophes may be inevitable, solutions are not." --- Isaac Asimov (1920-1992) "When I'm working on a problem, I never think about beauty. I think only how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong." --- Richard Buckminster Fuller ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote: "If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you." The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise." ______________________________________________________ Doctor: "Have you ever been troubled by appendicitis?" Patient: "Only when I've tried to spell it." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ One day Father Boudreaux and Father Thibodeaux wus fishin on da side of da road. So as not a make it obvius that they were fishing, they hung a big religious poster over a highway sign. Actually it was da back offa Madonna poster and dey had hand lettered on it: "The End is Near! Turn yurself 'Round now afore it's too late!" Well, dis one car dat passed didn't appreciate the sign an da driver wus shouting at dem and hollerin "Go to hell, you religious nuts!" Den all of a sudden dey heard a big splash, an dey looked at each other, an Fr. Boudreaux said ..... "Ya tink it's maybbie bad luck ta hang your nekkid Madonna poster onn da 'Bridge Out' sign?" ______________________________________________________
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jerry Active, 27, Togiak, Alaska
Alaskan man who raped 2-year-old, killed elderly couple gets 359 years in prison An Alaska man convicted of raping a 2-year-old girl and killing her great-grandparents was sentenced Friday to 359 years in prison for the repulsive crimes. Jerry Active was unremorseful as a judge handed down the punishment for the horrific 2013 attack on the Mountain View family, the Alaska Dispatch News reported. "I'll stand by my innocence until the end," Active said in the Anchorage courtroom, blaming his guilty verdict on a white jury, according to KTUU 2. The monster was found guilty in April of beating to death 71-year-old Touch Chea and his 73-year-old wife Sorn Sreap after raping Sreap and her 2-year-old great-granddaughter, police said. He also sexually assaulted a 90-year-old woman, who died in June. The sickening attack had shaken investigators for its brutality. Seasoned detectives had called the crimes the "worst thing they had ever seen in their lives," police department spokeswoman Anita Shell said at the time. The Togiak, Alaska, man entered the doomed family's home at random in May 2013. He was found guilty on 10 felony counts, including first-degree murder, multiple counts of sexual assault, sexually abusing a minor and robbery. Active, who was 24 at the time of the killing, had been released early from prison just hours before the attacks, according to state officials. He was set free on probation after serving part of a seven-year sentence for pleading guilty to breaking into an Alaska home in 2009 and sexually assaulting a child and other residents. "Mr. Active's actions will remain a scar on the community," Anchorage Superior Court Judge Philip Volland said, according to the Alaska Dispatch News. "These murders were senseless, brutal, bloody and bloodthirsty."
______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Elise Re: How many Fonts are too many for Windows 7? Dear Webby, My Windows is gertting really slow whenever I do any word processing. Is it a case of too many fonts? Elise Dear too many fonts can slow down your computer when you use applications such as word processors and spreadsheets that use the fonts managed by Windows 7. These performance slowdowns can take the form of applications taking a long time to load, making the font drop down menu of an application almost impossible to use, and too much memory being used up by your computer to manage all of those fonts. There are no hard and fast rules that determine how many fonts is too many; it depends on how many fonts you have installed in Windows 7, how much memory you have in your PC, and the type of processor you have. Dealing with too many fonts means deleting those that you don’t need. When you do, you will also notice that it is easier to find the font you want because you won’t have to wade through hundreds of fonts. One of the problems is that many programs install a bunch of their own favorite fonts. That would not be a problem, if you didn't already have a hundred, or a few hundred fonts, that you have collected over the years. Unless you have 64 GB of RAM, dump all the ones, that you are not really using. It's not a kids bragging world about who has more fonts, but who has a more responsive machine. Have FUN! DearWebby _____________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change, and then goes back and says to the cashier, "Hey, you gave me the wrong change!" "Sir, you stepped away from the counter," said the cashier. "We don't make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do about it now. That's the policy of this bank." "Well, ok," answered the customer. "Just thought you'd like to know that you gave me an extra hundred dollar bill. Bye." ______________________________________________________ If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can! ______________________________________________________ Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Pantyhose to Catch Washing Machine Lint A washing machine repairman told me to put a pantyhose leg on the pipe that drains into our slop sink. I was surprised to see how much lint it caught. All that lint would eventually clog our drain, and plumbers are expensive! I also have a mesh filter in the drain itself. I use the good leg from a ripped pair of pantyhose. I also go to garage sales and buy pantyhose for a good price, so I always have some on hand. Source: Washing machine repairman By Judy Pariser S. [28] ______________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
_____________________________________________________ Scientists were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang. Apparently, that sound was "OOOPS!." ___________________________________________________

Swan Lake - Great Chinese State Circus amazing ending
____________________________________________________ A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates real well and I just act like I'm listening." ____________________________________________________
So gymnastic cycling is a thing and it’s amazing to see.

Today, Sept 10, in
1608 John Smith was elected president of the Jamestown, 
 VA colony council. 
1813 The first defeat of British naval squadron occurred in 
 the Battle of Lake Erie during the War of 1812. The leader 
 of the U.S. fleet sent the famous message "We have met 
 the enemy, and they are ours" to U.S. General William 
 Henry Harrison. 
1845 King Willem II opened Amsterdam Stock exchange. 
1846 Elias Howe received a patent for his sewing machine. 
1847 The first theater opened in Hawaii. 
1862 Rabbi Jacob Frankel became the first Jewish Army 
 chaplain. 
1897 British police arrested George Smith for drunken 
 driving. It was the first DWI. 
1899 A second quake in seven days hit Yakutat Bay, AK. 
 It measured 8.6. 
1913 The Lincoln Highway opened. It was the first paved 
 coast-to-coast highway in the U.S. 
1919 New York City welcomed home 25,000 soldiers and 
 General John J. Pershing who had served in the First 
 Division during World War I. 
1919 Austria and the Allies signed the Treaty of 
 St.-Germain-en-Laye. Austria recognized the independence 
 of Poland, Hungary, Czechoslovakia and Yugoslavia. 
1921 The Ayus Autobahn in Germany opened near Berlin. 
 The road is known for its nonexistent speed limit. 
1923 The Irish Free state joined the League of Nations. 
1926 Germany joined the League of Nations. 
1935 "Popeye" was heard on NBC radio for the first time. 
1939 Canada declared war on Germany. 
1940 In Britain, Buckingham Palace was hit by German bomb. 
1942 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt mandated gasoline 
 rationing as part of the U.S. wartime effort. 
1943 German forces began their occupation of Rome during 
 World War II. 
1948 Mildred "Axis Sally" Gillars was indicted for treason 
 in Washington, DC. Gillars was a Nazi radio propagandist 
 during World War II. She was convicted and spent 12 years 
 in prison. 
1951 Britain began an economic boycott of Iran. 
1953 Swanson began selling its first "TV dinner." 
1955 "Gunsmoke" premiered on CBS. 
1956 Great Britain performed a nuclear test at Maralinga, 
 Australia. 
1963 Twenty black students entered public schools in Alabama 
 at the end of a standoff between federal authorities and 
 Alabama governor George C. Wallace. 
1977 "Mickey Finn" appeared in the comic pages for the last time. 
1979 U.S. President Carter granted clemency to four Puerto 
 Rican nationalists who had been imprisoned for an attack on the 
 U.S. House of Representatives in 1954 and an attempted 
 assassination of U.S. President Truman in 1950. 
1989 Hungary gave permission to thousands of East German 
 refugees and visitors to immigrate to West Germany. 
1990 Iran agreed to resume full diplomatic ties with past 
 enemy Iraq. 
1990 Iraq's Saddam Hussein offered free oil to developing nations 
 in an attempt to win their support during the Gulf War Crisis. 
1998 U.S. President Clinton met with members of his Cabinet to 
 apologize, ask forgiveness and promise to improve as a person 
 in the wake of the scandal involving Monica Lewinsky. 
1999 A bronze sculpture of a war horse just over 24 feet high was 
 dedicated in Milan, Italy. 
2002 Florida tested its new elections system. The test resulted 
 in polling stations opening late and problems occurred with the 
 touch screen voting machines. 
2002 The "September 11: Bearing Witness to History" exhibit opened 
 at the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History. 
2002 Switzerland became the 190th member of the United Nations.
2015  smiled.


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