Transferring pictures from camera to computer
Thursday, August 16, 2018, 09:02 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, August 16
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida woman tries to flee
after wrong-way crash on I-75
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, August 16 in
1812 Detroit fell to Indian and British troops in the
War of 1812.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
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please donate what you can! |
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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to
make an exception.
--- Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
Don't think you're on the right road
just because it’s a well-beaten path.
--- Socratex
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally
you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty
annoying virtues.
--- Elizabeth Taylor
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
>Ella
Can you please send the Alabama Vasectomy joke again?
Thanks
Ella
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided
that was enough (they could not afford a larger
doublewide).
So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules)
and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to
have any more children.
The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a
vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed
him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal
in 'Bama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the
can up to his ear and count to 10.
The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the
smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry
bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me"
So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion.
The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the
procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were
from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to
go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in
a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.
Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong,
the man went home, lit a cherrybomb and put it in a beer
can.
He held the can up to his ear and began to count.
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . . ", at which point he paused,
placed the beer can between his legs and resumed
counting on his other hand.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
ONE RECRUIT in our platoon at Fort Knox, Ky., had an
unusual habit. No matter what lowly detail he pulled, he
would smile. On a 20-mile hike with full backpack, this guy
beamed from ear to ear. Cleaning the latrine had him
smiling as if he'd just heard a comedy routine.
But on our long-awaited graduation day, everyone was
grinning except him. "Why," I asked, "aren't you smiling
today?"
"Because, now," he said, "it won't drive our drill
instructor crazy!"
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
has been earned by
Jacqueline Burge,
54,
Sarasota County,
Florida
Florida woman tries to flee
after wrong-way crash on I-75
A Florida woman with a long arrest record was arrested
after she tried to flee the scene of a car crash on I-75,
FOX13 Tampa reported.
Jacqueline Burge, 54, reportedly refused to stop after
Sarasota County Sheriff's deputies attempted to pull her
over. She hit a deputy's cruiser after driving through a
yard before merging onto I-75 southbound.
She then lost control, damaged another cruiser and then
fled again, the report said.
Burge tried to flee on foot but was quickly captured. FOX13
said Burge had drugs on her and several ID cards.
Burge has been arrested several times in Sarasota County
alone, including arrests for theft, prostitution, and drug
possession, the TV station said.
From: Healy
Re: Pictures from camera
Dear Webby,
A friend reamed me out for trasnferring pictures straight
from the camera to the computer, and claimed you had said
to never do that. Unfortunately she could not remember why
not? Does that affect the picture quality?
Healy
Dear Healy
It drains your camera batteries very quickly. The USB port
runs at 5 Volt, the camera at 6 Volt. So the camera tries
to charge up the USB port, which is regulated and backed
up by the power grid. The batteries have not got a chance,
and especially if you do some sorting and deleting, you
will drain the batteries to near flat.
There is supposed to be a diode in there preventing that,
but that usually does not work.
A chip reader costs $6 - $12. Just pop the camera chip in
there and then take your time. It runs on USB power and you
can transfer and edit as much as you got time for.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A crew of highway maintenance workers were sent to repair
some road signs that vandals had knocked down in a forested
area. The first one they put back up was a symbol warning
of a deer crossing.
As they moved down the road to repair the next sign, one
member, a goober, looked back and spotted a deer running
across the highway.
She turned to a co-worker and said, "I wonder how long he's
been waiting to cross?"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to
his chair before he dropped exhausted.
His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink
and a comforting word. "My, you look tired," she said.
"You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make
you so exhausted?"
"It was terrible," her husband said. "The computer broke
down and all of us had to do our own thinking."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Fixing Wallpaper Bubbles
If you have a large wallpaper bubble, cut an X in the
bubble. Peel back from the center, apply a bit of wallpaper
paste to each corner and flatten with a damp sponge.
For smaller bubbles, cut a slit in the bubble and squirt
a little paper adhesive into the slit then smooth out
the bubble.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
 |
The sacred grove of Bomarzo. |
___________________________________________________
On her 15th birthday, my daughter opened a package from
her Mom and her sisters. Out came a beauty case containing
many samples of makeup.
"Neat!" I exclaimed. "Your own tackle box!"
My wife calmly explained that it was NOT a tackle box, it
was a beauty kit. My daughter proceeded to open it up and
show us all the mascara, eye shadow, rouge, and other
cosmetics.
At this point I leaned over to my wife and
whispered, "I told you it was a tackle box. Just look at
all those lures."
___________________________________________________
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
"A pedestrian is a person who should be seen and not
hurt."
"Customers who think the waiter is rude, should see the
manager."
"Sorry to needle you. We need your blood."
On a college president's door: "Closed--If it's something
important,
see the custodian."
Municipal golf course sign: "Please don't find lost balls
until they stop rolling.
New Jersey tourist sign: "Come to beautiful Atlantic City
and see the bored walk."
Sign in a nut shop: "No credit cards here. Strictly cashew
and carry.
By some bananas in a fruit store: "Please don't tear us
apart. We grew up together.
In a barbershop window: "Cutting out for lunch."
Sign outside a service garage in Seattle, Washington:
"Please do not drive in when doors are shut.
____________________________________________________
Today, August 16 in
1777 During the American Revolutionary War, the Battle of
Bennington took place. New England's minutemen routed the
British regulars.
1812 Detroit fell to Indian and British troops in the War
of 1812.
1829 The "Siamese twins," Chang and Eng Bunker, arrived in
Boston, MA. They had come to the Western world to be
exhibited. They were 18 years old and joined at the waist.
1842 In New York City, the U.S. government took over
operations of the City Despatch Post. This was the first
congressionally authorized local postage delivery.
1858 A telegraphed message from Britain's Queen Victoria to
U.S. President Buchanan was transmitted over the recently
laid trans-Atlantic cable.
1861 U.S. President Lincoln prohibited the Union states
from trading with the states of the Confederacy.
1923 Carnegie Steel Corporation put into place the eight-
hour workday for its employees.
1937 Harvard University became the first school to have
graduate courses in traffic engineering and administration.
1954 Sports Illustrated was published for the first time.
It was claimed that 250,000 subscriptions had been sold
before the first issue came off of the presses.
1960 Cyprus was granted independence from Britain.
1960 The free-fall world record was set by Joseph
Kittinger. He fell more than 16 miles (about 84,000 feet)
before opening his parachute over New Mexico.
1978 Xerox was fined for excluding Smith-Corona Mfg. from
the copier market. The fine was $25.6 million.
1995 Voters in Bermuda rejected independence from Great
Britain.
1999 In Russia, Vladimir V. Putin was confirmed as prime
minister by the lower house of parliament.
2018 smiled.
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Transferring pictures from camera to computer
Thursday, August 16, 2018, 09:00 AM
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Wednesday, August 15, 2018, 07:13 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, August 15
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Man accused of filling water cup with
soda sees $2 cost ‘supersized’ to $50,000
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, August 15 in
1947 India became independent from Britain and was divided
into the countries of India and Pakistan. India had been
under British rule about 200 years.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a
president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he
told me that, I stopped worrying.
--- Ronald Reagan (1911 2004)
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
My parents only had one argument in forty-five years.
It lasted forty-three years.
--- Cathy Ladman
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice
letter saying that I approved of it.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Tech Support: "How much free space do you have on your hard
drive?"
Customer: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that
Internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is
that enough?"
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Daniel Stine,
Missoula,
Montana
Man accused of filling water cup with
soda sees $2 cost ‘supersized’ to $50,000
A $2.00 charge for a soda has been “super-sized” to
$50,000, which is how much bail a Montana suspect now
faces.
Daniel Stine entered a Missoula Arby’s fast food restaurant
and requested a water cup that he then tried to full with
soda, Newstalk KGVO reported.
When confronted by an employee, Stine allegedly started a
fight, Missoula Police Public Information Officer Travis
Welsh said, according to KGVO.
“When confronted by an employee who informed him that he
had to pay for the cup of soda he refused and left out one
of the entrances,” Welsh explained. “The employee followed
him, told him that he was not welcome back then he turned
and came back towards the employee and tried to kick that
person before walking away again.”
When police responded, Stine was seen entering a nearby
Denny’s. Cops followed him into a bathroom there and that’s
when the suspect became aggressive.
“The officers were able to make entry to the bathroom,
however, when they did and confronted the man, rather than
comply with their instructions he approached them in what
appeared to be an aggressive manner,” Welsh explained. “The
officers attempted to take control of him physically and
that’s when he began to resist and fight with the officers
and had to be tased to comply to the officer’s
instructions.”
Stine now faces four misdemeanor charges of criminal
trespass, disorderly conduct, obstructing a peace officer
and resisting arrest, according to KGVO — in addition to a
felony robbery charge.
From: Guinn
Re: Can't restore
Dear Webby,
You seem to know (or can find out) a lot of answers to our
problems, out here in CyberLand. So here is MY problem:
Sometime in the past few weeks I must have clicked a
wrong key because now I cannot Restore. When I try to
Restore, the only day shown in bold numbers is the current
date and the current time. How do I get my Restore back?
Thanks for any help you can give me,
Guinn
Dear Guinn
You, or some "speeder-upper" utility, must have turned off
Restore and wiped out all the old restore data. Running out
of disk space also deactivates the Restore.
Once you clear out enough space, System Restore will
reactivate automatically, but in the meantime you will have
lost all your previous restore points.
Restore also gets a bit flaky when it gets close to the
limit of the space that you allotted for it. It will start
dropping old restore points. Theoretically it is supposed
to stop dumping when 50% of the allocated space is free.
Sometimes it doesn't.
If the restore point that you see is not the one made when
Restore got turned back on, go to Control Panel, System
System-Restore and manage it from there.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A group of Q-Tips (senior citizens) in TheVillages were
exchanging notes about their ailments.
"My arm is so weak I can hardly hold this coffee cup."
"Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't see to pour
the coffee."
"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck."
"My blood pressure pills make my dizzy."
"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old."
"Well, it's not all bad. We should be thankful that we can
still drive!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
An older friend, recently returned from her home town in
North Carolina, says they've spruced up the churchyard
cemetery since her last visit several years back.
"Lots of new greenery," she said. "And families are
together now."
"Together?" I asked, puzzled. "Well, years ago they never
much worried where they buried someone because everyone
was a neighbor anyhow. They'd just dig a grave wherever it
seemed to balance things. But they've redone it so people
are with their children and grandchildren, instead of
scattered all over."
"You mean they exhumed all those people and re-buried
them?"
"Oh no," she said. "They just moved the headstones.
Everyone agrees it looks ever so much nicer."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cleaning Out The Fridge
After cleaning out your refrigerator, dampen a cloth or
clean
sponge with white vinegar and wipe down the walls and
shelves in the fridge. It will both cut down odors and help
prevent mildew. A box of baking soda also helps odors.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
I find it hard to believe these articles are made from stone, but they are! Wow! |
___________________________________________________
Woman to marriage counselor: "The only thing my husband
and I have in common is that we got married the same year."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Schalk burst into Van's room to find Van standing on a
chair with a rope around his waist and the end of the rope
around the ceiling beam. "Hey Van, what do you think you're
doing?" said Schalk.
"I'm committing suicide," replied Van.
"Well you're going about it all wrong," said Schalk.
"You're supposed to tie the rope around your neck, not our
waist."
"Man, but I tried that yesterday and I dang near choked."
____________________________________________________
Today, August 15 in
1057 Macbeth, the King of Scotland, was killed by the son
of King Duncan.
1848 The dental chair was patented by M. Waldo Hanchett.
1877 Thomas Edison wrote to the president of the Telegraph
Company in Pittsburgh, PA. The letter stated that the word,
"hello" would be a more appropriate greeting than "ahoy"
when answering the telephone.
1911 The product Crisco was introduced by Procter & Gamble
Company.
1914 The Panama Canal was officially opened to commercial
traffic as an American ship sailed from the Atlantic to the
Pacific Ocean. The first vessel to pass through the canal
was the American cargo and passenger ship SS Ancon.
1918 Diplomatic ties between the U.S. and Russia were
severed.
1935 Will Rogers and Wiley Post were killed in an airplane
crash in near Point Barrow, AK.
1939 "The Wizard of Oz" premiered in Hollywood, CA. Judy
Garland became famous for the movie's song "Somewhere Over
the Rainbow."
1943 Because of his special talent to use food scraps in
both unusual and appetizing recipes, the U.S. War
Department awarded Sgt. Edward Dzuba the Legion of Merit.
1944 The Allied forces of World War II landed in southern
France.
1947 India became independent from Britain and was divided
into the countries of India and Pakistan. India had been
under British rule about 200 years.
1948 The Republic of Korea was proclaimed.
1949 In San Francisco, a stunt leap off the Golden Gate
Bridge was performed for the first time.
1961 East German workers began construction of the Berlin
Wall.
1971 U.S. President Nixon announced a 90-day freeze on
wages, rents and prices.
1986 The U.S. Senate approved a package of economic
sanctions against South Africa. The ban included the
importing of steel, uranium, textiles, coal, and produce
from South Africa.
1992 Vietnam blamed Hollywood for creating the "myth"
concerning the issue of U.S. servicemen still being held
prisoner in Indochina.
1997 The U.S. Justice Department decided not to prosecute
FBI officials in connection with the deadly 1992 Ruby Ridge
siege in Idaho. The investigation dealt with an alleged
cover-up.
2000 A group of 100 people from North Korea arrived in
South Korea for temporary reunions with relatives they had
not seen for half a century. Also, a group of 100 South
Koreans visited the North.
2001 Astronomers announced the discovery of the first solar
system outside our own. They had discovered two planets
orbiting a star in the Big Dipper.
2011 Google announced that it would acquire Motorola
Mobility for $12.5 billion.
2015 North Korea began using UTC+08:30 (official name
Pyongyang Time) as a rejection of Japanese imperialism.
2018 smiled.
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Tuesday, August 14, 2018, 10:08 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, August 14
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Driver's license of dopey woman in Nocatee
road-rage incident suspended four times
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, August 14 in
2015 In Havana, Cuba, the U.S. Embassy was re-opened after
being closed 54 years earlier because Cuba had stolen
(nationalized) all US built and owned refineries and
plantations and canneries. Secretary of State Hillary said
that was ok, since they are Communists.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a
president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he
told me that, I stopped worrying.
--- Ronald Reagan (1911 - 2004)
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the
same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70.
They rode on the elevator together at the end of an
unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man was completely
done in, and he noted with some resentment that his senior
was fresh as a daisy.
"I don't understand," he marvelled, "how you can listen to
complaining patients from morning till night, on a day like
this, and still look so spry and unbothered when it's
over?"
The older analyst replied, "So, who listens?"
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
The red-bearded bee-eater lives in the Indo-Malayan region
of Southeast Asia in dense forest habitats.
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Lauren Davis, 22,
Jacksonville,
Florida
Driver's license of dopey woman in Nocatee
road-rage incident suspended four times
A St. Johns County arrest report says that a road-rage
incident led to the arrest of a Jacksonville woman on
felony drug charges stemming from a Nocatee road-rage
incident.
Deputies said that Lauren Davis, 22, was driving with a
license that had been suspended four times by the state.
According to a report, Davis was driving on Nocatee Parkway
when she slammed the brakes on her 2008 Honda Element in an
act of road rage. A deputy witnessed the incident, the
report said.
When Davis was pulled over, she immediately admitted that
she had road rage because she had been cut off by another
car, the report said.
The deputy who pulled her over smelled marijuana and asked
Davis if she had any in her car, the report said. Davis
then held up a plastic bag from her center console.
Davis told deputies the bag held one ounce of marijuana,
the report said.
The report added that Davis' drivers license has been
suspended four times since July 19, 2017. She drives
anyway.
From Edna
Re: Why Downward tripod?
Dear Webby,
Why would I ever need a tripod for shootiing straight down?
Edna
Dear Edna
If you make custom jewelry, or collect butterflies or bugs
or marbles or anything small, and need the same angle and
background for catalog type pages, then you can't really
scan them and have to take pictures. A twisted bar works
very well for that.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A old man told his doctor, "I don't think my wife's
hearing is as good as it used to be. What should I do?"
The doctor replied, "Try this test first. When your
wife is at the sink doing dishes, stand fifteen feet
behind her and ask her a question. If she doesn't
respond, keep moving closer, asking the question until
she hears you."
He went home and saw his wife preparing dinner.
Standing fifteen feet behind her he said, "What's for
dinner, honey?"
Hearing no reply, he moved up to ten feet behind her
and repeated the question.
Still no reply, so he moved to five feet.
Finally he stood directly behind her and said, "Honey,
what's for dinner tonight?"
She turned around and yelled in his face, "For the
fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN, you deaf old fart!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Thanks to Rosie for this story:
After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest
military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-
Main Air Base in Germany with my eight siblings and me, all
under the age of eleven.
Collecting our many suitcases, the ten of us entered the
cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our
entourage in disbelief, "Ma'am," he asked, "do all these
children and this luggage belong to you?"
"Yes, sir," my mother said with a sigh. "They're all
mine."
The customs agent began his questions, "Ma'am, do you have
any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your
possession?"
"Sir," she calmly answered, "if I'd had any of those items,
I would have used them by now."
The official allowed us to pass without opening a single
suitcase.
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Carpet Installation Day
Most carpet retailers outsource the installation to
independent contractions so it's important to inspect the
work closely and not sign any paperwork after the
installation until you are satisfied. If the carpet
installers will not address your concerns, call the
retailer.
The same applies to ANY and ALL flooring installers.
I held back 50% pending successful installation when I
bought vinyl flooring in 2001 and did not budge no matter
how much they whined. It is ridiculous what they initially
tried to get away with. Tried unsuccessfully!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
A time travelers secret stroll through Brooklyn Heights. |
___________________________________________________
Boss, to four of his employees: "I'm really sorry, but I'm
going to have to let one of you go."
Black Employee: "I'm a protected minority."
Female Employee: "And I'm a woman."
Oldest Employee: "Fire me, buster, and I'll hit you with an
age discrimination suit so fast it'll make your head spin."
To which they all turn to look at the helpless young,
white, male employee, who thinks a moment, then responds:
"I think I might be gay..."
So, to be politically correct, he fired them all.
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
One Liners:
Middle Age: When actions creak louder than words.
Don't worry. I forgot your name, too!
Is it time for your medication or mine?
____________________________________________________
Today, August 14 in
1248 The rebuilding of the Cologne Cathedral in Cologne,
Germany, began after being destroyed by fire.
1805 A peace treaty between the U.S. and Tunis was signed
on board the USS Constitution. Tunis did not honor it until
the Marines showed up and knocked them back into the stone
age.
1880 The Cologne Cathedral in Cologne, Germany was
completed after 632 years of rebuilding.
1888 A patent for the electric meter was granted to Oliver
B. Shallenberger.
1896 Gold was discovered in Canada's Yukon Territory.
Within the next year more than 30,000 people rushed to the
area to look for gold.
1900 An international force, consisting of eight nations,
lifted the siege of Peking. It was the end to the Boxer
Rebellion, which was aimed at purging China of foreigners.
1917 China declared war on Germany and Austria during World
War I.
1919 About 1 million tons of ice and rock broke off of a
glacier near Mont Blanc, France. Nine people were killed in
the incident.
1935 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the Social
Security Act into law. The act created unemployment
insurance and pension plans for the elderly.
1936 The first basketball competition was held at the
Olympic Games in Berlin, Germany. The U.S. defeated Canada,
19-8.
1941 The U.S. Congress appropriated the funds to construct
the Pentagon (approximately $83 million). The building was
the new home of the U.S. War Department.
1944 The federal government allowed the manufacture of
certain domestic appliances to resume on a limited basis.
1945 It was announced by U.S. President Truman that Japan
had surrendered unconditionally. The surrender ended World
War II.
1947 Pakistan became independent from British rule.
1953 The whiffle ball was invented.
1962 A U.S. mail truck was held up in Plymouth, MA. The
robbers got away with more that $1.5 million dollars.
1969 British troops arrived in Northern Ireland to
intervene in sectarian violence between Protestants and
Roman Catholics.
1973 The U.S. bombing of Cambodia ended. The halt marked
the official end to 12 years of combat in Indochina by the
U.S.
1976 A charity softball game began for the Community
General Hospital in Monticello, NY. The game was eventually
called off due to weather after 30 hours. The final score
was Gager's Diner's 491 to Bend 'n Elbow Tavern's 467.
1980 People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) was
incorporated.
1986 U.S. officials announced that a U.S. Drug Enforcement
agent had been abducted, interrogated and tortured by
Mexican police.
1992 The U.S. announced that emergency airlifts of food to
Somalia would begin. The action was being taken to stop
mass deaths due to starvation.
1995 Shannon Faulkner became the first female cadet in the
history of The Citadel, South Carolina's state military
college. She quit the school less than a week later.
1998 A U.S. federal appeals court in Richmond, VA, ruled
that the Food and Drug Administration had no authority to
regulate tobacco. The FDA had established rules to make it
harder for minors to buy cigarettes.
2000 Valujet was ordered to pay $11 million in fines and
restitution for hazardous waste violations in the crash
that killed 110 people in 1996.
2015 In Havana, Cuba, the U.S. Embassy was re-opened after
being closed 54 years earlier because Cuba had stolen
(nationalized) all US built and owned refineries and
plantations and canneries. Secretary of State Hillary said
that was ok, since they are Communists.
2018 smiled.
|
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Tripod aid for shooting downward
Monday, August 13, 2018, 07:48 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, August 13
We got fresh, cold air coming all the way down from the
Yukon. It blew the smoke back over the Rockies to BC and
down into the US. The cold air dropped the temperature 30
degrees and caused a lot of clouds, but the air is fresh
and clean.
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Woman used identical twin's name
during drug arrest, sister claims
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, August 13 in
1960 "Echo I," a balloon satellite, allowed the first
two-way telephone conversation by satellite to take place.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one.
--- A. J. Liebling (1904 - 1963)
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
"If you had a quarter," quizzed the teacher, "and you asked
your father for a dollar and fifty cents, how much
money would you have?"
"One quarter." answered .
The teacher shook her head and said, "You don't know
your arithmetic, do you, ?"
sighed and replied, "You don't know my father."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Sidu River Bridge is located in Badong County of the Hubei
Province of China. It opened in November 2009 and was the
world’s highest bridge, rising more than 1,500 feet in the
air. It’s one of the most spectacular bridges in the world.
This suspension bridge is 1,222 m-long (4,009 ft) and the
span is so high that Shanghai’s Oriental Pearl Tower could
fit underneath it. The highest bridge in the world spans
such
a great chasm that it had to be established using
rockets. The Sidu River Bridge is the tallest bridge in
the world, standing around 1,500 ft tall.
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Myesha Brown,
25,
Memphis,
Tennessee
Woman used identical twin's name
during drug arrest, sister claims
Tarnesha Lee, talked with FOX13 Saturday outside 201 Poplar,
but if you look up jail records, she was locked up at the
time.
If you look up her name, she’s was just busted for drugs.
When in fact, she told us she has never been arrested.
An affidavit showed, Lee was busted early Saturday morning
after MPD searched a motel room and found 28 Ecstasy pills.
She’s charged with possession of a controlled substance with
intent to sell. “I have a professional career, I don’t need
my name slandered like this,” Lee said.
Here’s the problem, Lee has an identical twin sister, Myesha
Brown. Brown has a rap sheet and she was actually the one
busted for drugs but she gave officers her sister’s name
because she had warrants out for her.
Lee said, “She’s constantly using my name and they’re telling
me there’s no way they can clear it out.”
Lee told us MPD must not have even checked Brown’s ID when
she was arrested.
“Any proof that’s her name before you just use my name on a
felony charge like this, that’s not fair,” Lee told FOX13.
Lee said she’s been frantically trying to get the problem
fixed. She made calls, went to MPD, Jail East, 201 Poplar.
She said she showed her driver’s license, credit cards,
insurance cards even a marriage license as proof of who she
is.
But Lee claims she was told nothing could be done until
Monday and she may have to go to court to clear things up.
Lee said, “they should be changing in the system but I’m
getting the runaround saying there’s nothing they can do
right now.”
So while Lee said she’s angry with her sister for creating
this mess in the first place, she’s even more upset that no
one is helping her fix it. Lee told us, “all I want them to
do is go ahead and clear my name so I can move past this,”
Lee told us her sister has used her name when she was
arrested three other times in Mississippi but she was able to
clear that up right away.
From Leo
Re: Downward tripod
Dear Webby,
This question is not really web related, but since you
answer questions about digital cameras,...
is there a gadget for adapting a tripod to take pictures
downward, and that don't cost more than the camera ?
Leo
Dear Leo
Get a wide, foot long ruler, either plexi glass or plastic,
and fairly stiff. Usually, the wider they are, the stiffer
and less flexible. Before airport security went nuts after
9/11, I used to use a 2" wide, foot long strip of 1/4"
aluminuim, but nowadays you have to use plastic or
plexiglass. 5mm Plexiglass works well. Most car and house
window places have it, and you might be able to get a scrap
for free.
Drill a 5.5 mm (1/4") hole about an inch or two from the
end in the middle of the ruler.
Heat up the middle of the ruler or plexiglass with a
handheld hair drier or hot air blower, and twist it gently
so that the ends are 90 degrees offset from each other.
You might want to clamp the ends between some wood, so that
you don't burn your fingers when you do that.
If you don't have luck with twisting, you COULD just bend
it 90 degrees in the middle. The reason I prefer the
twisting is because that way it takes less room in your
camera case. However, either method works.
Get a 1/4" x 20 wing bolt about 3/4" long. NOT the metric
equivalent! You CAN still get them in Imperial dimensions!
Imagine the hassle I had finding one of those when I was a
kid in Austria in the late 50's or early 60's! They had
gone metric centuries before then, but camera tripod
sockets were still in Imperial.
You also need a 1/4" x 20 wing nut. You may have to go to
Home Depot or any big hardware store for those. They are
still available!
Now put the ruler onto your tripod and fasten it with the
wing nut.
Put the wing bolt through the hole on the free end of the
ruler, and thread it into the bottom of the sideways held
camera.
The reason for using wing nuts and wing bolts is so that
you don't have to carry a wrench. Even if you assemble the
gadget only finger tight, iron bolts tend to get very
sticky if left in aluminum.
Spray paint it all bright yellow, so that you can find the
parts easily in your camera bag, and threaten major mayhem
if somebody borrows any of those bright yellow components.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
My boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day
that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he
went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read,
"I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that the
sign was gone and someone had taped a note to the sign that
said.
"Your wife called, she said she did not authorize your sign."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a
restaurant; first, he'd asked that the air conditioning be
turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be
turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about
half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back
and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second
customer asked him why he didn't throw out the pest.
"Oh I don't care." said the waiter with a smile. "We don't
really have an air conditioner anyway."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Saving Money on Carpet
If you are having a small area carpeted, like a bedroom,
ask the carpet retailer if they have any remnants available
for a discounted price. They usually have remnants of brand
new carpet leftover from bigger jobs.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
A time travelers secret stroll through Brooklyn Heights. |
___________________________________________________
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon
full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.
Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a
Dalmatian dog.
The children started to discuss the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
"I know!" said a third.
"They use it to find the fire hydrant!"
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Andy came to work one day, limping something awful. One of
his co-workers, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what
happened.
Andy replied, "Oh, nothing. It's just an old football injury
that acts up once in a while."
Josh, "Gee, I never knew you played football."
Andy, "No I don't. I hurt it last year when I lost $100 on
the Superbowl. I put my foot through the television."
____________________________________________________
Today, August 13 in
1521 Present day Mexico City was captured by Spanish
conqueror Hernando Cortez from the Aztec Indians.
1704 The Battle of Blenheim was fought during the War of
the Spanish Succession, resulting in a victory for English
and Austrian forces.
1792 French revolutionaries took the entire French royal
family and imprisoned them.
1889 A patent for a coin-operated telephone was issued to
William Gray.
1912 The first experimental radio license was issued to St.
Joseph's College in Philadelphia, PA.
1931 The first community hospital in the U.S. was dedicated
in Elk City, OK.
1932 Adolf Hitler refused to take the post of vice-
chancellor of Germany. He said he was going to hold out
"for all or nothing."
1934 Al Capp's comic strip "L'il Abner" made its debut in
newspapers.
1942 Henry Ford unveiled his "Soybean Car." It was a
plastic-bodied car that weighed about 1000 lbs. less than a
steel car and saved the steel for the war effort. Nobody
liked it.
1959 In New York, ground was broken on the $320 million
Verrazano Narrows Bridge.
1960 "Echo I," a balloon satellite, allowed the first two-
way telephone conversation by satellite to take place.
1961 Berlin was divided by a barbed wire fence to halt the
flight of refugees. Two days later work on the Berlin Wall
began.
1985 The engagement of Maria Shriver and Arnold
Schwarzenagger was announced.
1990 Iraq transferred $3-4 billion in bullion, currency,
and other goods seized from Kuwait to Baghdad.
1992 Woody Allen began legal action to win custody of his
three children. A judge ruled against Allen in 1993.
1994 It was reported that aspirin not only helps reduce the
risk of heart disease, but also helps prevent colon cancer.
2018 smiled.
|
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Filter for fake McAfee messages
Sunday, August 12, 2018, 10:04 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, August 12
Smoke is still thick. The promised thunder showers didn't
really happen. There was some faint rumbling in the
distance, and for a few minutes there was a bit of a
drizzle. I was on my walk when it happened, and did not
have to change my shirt afterwards. Still can't see more
than a block.
The fires are all in BC, and some in Washington, Oregon and
California, but with cool air coming down from the Yukon,
the smoke seems to get funneled over the Rockies to
Alberta.
Fire crews have pitched in from the forest industry, from
outside the province and outside of the country including
New Zealand, Australia and Mexico.
I hope they get some good and solid rain soon! I was forest
fire fighting in 1971 and know how tough it is to go all
out in thick smoke.
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida Woman Fleeing Police Gets
Corralled By Cows
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, August 12 in
1865 Disinfectant was used for the first time during
surgery by Joseph Lister.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended.
--- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have
to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough
to think it's important.
--- Eugene McCarthy (1916 - 2005)
It is the dull man who is always sure,
and the sure man who is always dull.
--- H. L. Mencken
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
George, a rather arrogant acquaintance, and
were seated side by side on a train. An announcement was
made that all electrical power would be out for a few
minutes due to a blown circuit.
Seated across from George and were two
very attractive ladies.
Just then the train entered a dark tunnel.
A loud smack was heard.
As the train left the tunnel, a large red hand print could
be seen on George's face. Nothing was said by anyone.
The train entered another dark tunnel and another loud
smack was heard. As the train left the tunnel, another
large red hand print could be seen on the other side of
George's face. Again, nothing at all was said.
George was thinking.... must have done
something to those ladies and they thought it was me
because of my reputation.
But was thinking....I wish we would go
through another tunnel so I could slap that idiot again!!!
-------------------------
If you put nothing, or a full name like
Ms Ernestine F Trailer-Hooker III into the FIRST NAME slot
of the sign-up, that joke will fall flat. It's nearly as
bad if you got a gift subscription from a neighbor, who
typed your first name or nickname in all small or all large
letters because she had a bottle of Southern Comfort in one
hand and a donut in the other. If that is the case with
your first name or nickname, hit REPLY and tell me, and I
will instantly correct it.
DearWebby
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
U Bein Bridge, Myanmar
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Jennifer Anne Kaufman, 46,
Sanford,
Florida
Florida Woman Fleeing Police Gets
Corralled By Cows
Send in the cavalry ? or is that “cowvalry”?
It’s a relevant question, thanks to a video that shows a
woman on the run from the law who ended up being chased by
a tiny herd of cows.
The mooving experience happened Monday night in Sanford,
Florida, where authorities were pursuing a white Subaru SUV
that was reportedly stolen.
Officers attempted to stop the vehicle by using stop
sticks, causing it to crash near a pasture, according to
The Tampa Bay Times.
One of the three passengers, Erin Thomas, 38, stayed with
the SUV, while the other two attempted to hoof it into the
field.
Jamie Michael Young, 46, was quickly apprehended by a K-9
unit, but the other, Jennifer Anne Kaufman, also 46, was
about to have a different kind of animal encounter.
As she was fleeing officers, Kaufman found herself suddenly
pursued by, depending on the source, 12, 16 or 20 young
cows. A pilot in a police helicopter above the scene
immortalized the encounter, according to “Inside Edition.”
“Actually, the group of cows is following her, for a good
visual,” he said to his fellow officers below. “Looks like
they may attack her ... Keep going southeast. She’s pretty
far into the field now. If you see the group of cows,
they’re literally following her and chasing her.”
Kaufman eventually made it to a fence, where she was
arrested by police officers waiting for her.
The herd’s owner, Richard Kondracki, told local station
WKMG that he had never seen his bovines act aggressive
before but that no one had ever tried to run through the
field.
if all those cows come running at you. They didn’t know
them. They don’t know if they’re there to hurt them, or
steal one of the babies.”
Officers allegedly found 1.3 grams of cocaine, two spoons,
two clear-colored needles and a pipe burned at both ends in
the SUV, according to The Orlando Sentinel.
Kaufman is facing various charges, including drug
possession, possession of drug paraphernalia, trespassing
and resisting an officer.
She remains in the Seminole County Jail in lieu of $4,500
bond.
From: Marty
Re: Filters for spoof mails
Dear Webby,
I tried that filter, and I am impressed!
Not a single false positive, and it caught even more spam
than I had expected.
Now, how do I make a filter to catch all the useless
messages from mcAfee, both real and spoof?
Thanks
Marty
Dear Marty
For that I made this filter:
If the Subject field contains
"Suspect e-mail detected"
OR
the From field contains
"McAfee VirusScan E-mail Scan"
then hide the message from the messages list ,
and automatically (without warning or notification) delete
the message.
This filter takes priority over the friends list.
For the "OR", toggle the ALL or ANY rules to ANY.
According to the cute pie chart in the stats, this filter
currently catches and dumps 4% of the incoming mail,
unseen.
That's the way I like it. The spoof McAfee messages with
attached virus are just as useless as the real McAfee
messages. The fake McAfee messages with attached virus come
from an infected machine of one of your friends or
relatives.
To find out who that is, turn that filter off and block
half of your regular contacts for a day. If the nuisance
stops, then the culprit is in THAT half. Now half that list
and block just that portion. And so on until you are down
to the one, wo IS the culprit.
Thell her or him to get Malwarebytes and clean up their
act, or else you will block them for good.
Then turn that filter on again.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
>From Rita
I was walking home last night and decided to take a
shortcut through the cemetery.
3 girls walked up to me and explained that they were scared
to walk past the cemetery at night, so I agreed to let
them
walk along with me. I told them "I understand... I used to
get freaked out too when I was alive."
Never seen anybody run so fast
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
A man goes to a doctor for a physical checkup. The nurse
starts with certain basic information and asks, "How much
do you weigh?"
"One-seventy," the man replies.
The nurse asks him to step on the scale and it shows that
his weight is actually 183. The nurse asks, "Your height?"
"Five-eleven," the man answered confidently
The nurse measures and sees that he's only 5' 8".
Then she takes his blood pressure, and it is very high.
The man says, "Of course it's high! When I came in here,
I was tall and slender. Now, suddenly I'm short and
dumpy!"
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Saving Money on Carpet
Save money on your carpet installation by removing and
disposing of the old carpet yourself. If you are also painting,
do your painting and dry wall work after removing the old
carpet. It allows you to paint all the way down to the
subflooring without fear of making a mess.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Here Are 15 Of The Most Upsetting Child Ghost Stories |
___________________________________________________
An old man limped into the doctor's office and said,
"Doctor, my knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!"
The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe,
paused and then said, "Sir, how old are you?"
"I'm 98," the man announced proudly.
The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again.
Finally he said, "Sir, I'm sorry. I mean, just
look at you. You are almost one hundred years old,
and you're complaining that your knee hurts?
Well, what did you expect?"
The old man said, "Well, my other knee
is 98 years old too, and it doesn't hurt!"
----------------
He should have used his cane and smacked the quack!
My father overdid it a bit with his hiking last Sunday and
tore the meniscus in his right knee. Medically it's not a
big deal, but it is very painful. If you see a soccer
player suddenly dance like a one-legged whirling dervish
and then fall down clasping his knee, that's from a torn
meniscus.
The meniscus is like a rubber washer in the knee,
cushioning the joint. A sudden twisting impact can tear a
little piece of that washer partially loose and makes it
press against some nerves. A sport doctor recognizes it
instantly and can reach into the knee with a tiny little
pipe and clip the torn piece like it was a hangnail on your
thumb. The pain is gone instantly and the patient can walk
as soon as the local anethetic wears off.
That's what they did with my dad and he's hiking again.
However, if it is not promptly fixed, the limping affects
the spine and leads to all kinds of expensive
complications.
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Ending his sermon, a preacher announced that he would
preach
on Noah and the Ark on the following Sunday, and gave the
scriptural reference for the congregation to read ahead of
time.
A couple of boys noticed something interesting about the
placement of the story in the Bible. They slipped into the
church and glued two pages of the pulpit Bible together.
The next Sunday, the preacher got up to read his text.
"Noah took unto himself a wife," he began, "and she was"
- he turned the page to continue - "three hundred cubits
long,
fifty wide and thirty high."
He paused, scratched his head, turned the page back, read
it silently, and turned the page again. Then he looked up
at his congregation and said, "I've been reading this old
Bible for near fifty years, but there are some things in it
that are hard to believe."
____________________________________________________
Today, August 12 in
Today on August 12
1676 "King Phillip's War" came to an end with the killing
of Indian chief King Phillip. The war between the Indians
and the Europeans lasted for two years.
1851 Isaac Singer was issued a patent on the double-headed
sewing machine.
1865 Disinfectant was used for the first time during
surgery by Joseph Lister.
1877 Thomas Edison invented the phonograph and made the
first sound recording.
1898 The Spanish-American War was ended with the signing of
the peace protocol. The U.S. acquired Guam, Puerto Rico
and
the Philippines. Hawaii was also annexed.
1915 "Of Human Bondage" by William Somerset Maugham was
first published.
1918 Regular airmail service began between Washington, DC,
and New York City.
1939 "The Wizard of Oz" premiered in Oconomowoc, WI. Judy
Garland became famous for the movie's song "Somewhere Over
the Rainbow." The movie premiered in Hollywood on August
15th.
1953 The Soviet Union secretly tested its first hydrogen
bomb.
1960 The balloon satellite Echo One was launched by the
U.S. from Cape Canaveral, FL. It was the first
communications satellite.
1962 The Soviet Union launched Pavel Popovich into orbit.
Popovich and Andrian Nikolayev, who was launched a day
before, both landed on August 15.
1977 The space shuttle Enterprise passed its first solo
flight test.
1981 IBM unveiled its first PC.
1986 It was announced by NASA that they had selected a new
rocket design for the space shuttle. The move was made in
an effort at correcting the flaws that were believed to
have been responsible for the Challenger disaster.
1988 The movie "The Last Temptation of Christ" opened.
1992 The U.S., Canada, and Mexico announced that the North
American Free Trade Agreement had been created after 14
months of negotiations.
1993 U.S. President Clinton lifted the ban on rehiring air
traffic controllers that had been fired for going on strike
in 1981.
1998 Swiss banks agreed to pay $1.25 billion as restitution
to World War II Holocaust victims.
1999 Hang Thu Thi Ngyuen shot an arrow from a bow with her
feet on "Guinness World Records: Primetime" and hit a
target that was 16 feet and 5 inches away.
2000 The Russian nuclear submarine Kursk sank and its 118-
man crew died during naval exercises in the Barents Sea.
2004 The California Supreme Court voided the nearly 4,000
same-sex marriages that had been sanctioned in San
Francisco earlier in the year.
2008 Russia halted its five-day assault on Georgia.
2018 smiled.
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Saturday, August 11, 2018, 07:37 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, August 11
For the Perseid Meteor Shower look to the NortEast tonight,
if you don't have thick smoke. The meteors are just a
little bit brighter than the stars, but because they move
quite swiftly, you see them easily.
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Drunk driver tries to escape arrest by
telling cops she’s a
‘clean, thoroughbred white girl’
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, August 11 in
1896 Harvey Hubbell received a patent for the
electric light bulb socket with a pull-chain switch.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
When a person can no longer laugh at himself,
it is time for others to laugh at him.
--- Thomas Szasz,
I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long
as it is a language I don't understand.
--- Sir Edward Appleton (1892 - 1965)
I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don't understand.
--- Sir Edward Appleton (1892 - 1965)
To find yourself, think for yourself.
--- Socrates
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
THE THIRD BIGGEST LIE
Ann Landers challenged her readers to come up with the
world's third-biggest lie -- right after "The check is in
the mail" and "I'm from the government and I'm here to help
you."
Here is a sampling from the thousands she received:
"It's a good thing you came in today. We only have two
more in stock."
"Five pounds is nothing on a person of your height."
"You made it yourself? I never would have guessed."
"Of course I'll respect you in the morning."
"You don't look a day over 40."
"Dad, I need to move out of the dorm into an apartment of
my own so I can have some peace and quiet when I study."
"It's delicious, but I can't eat another bite."
"The new ownership won't affect you. The company will
remain the same."
"The puppy won't be any trouble, Mom. I promise I'll take
care of it myself."
"Your hair looks just fine."
"Put away the map. I know exactly how to get there."
"You don't need it in writing. You have my personal
guarantee."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Lauren Elizabeth Cutshaw, 32,
Bluffton,
South Carolina
Drunk driver tries to escape arrest by
telling cops she’s a
‘clean, thoroughbred white girl’
South Carolina police say a woman sped through a stop sign
doing 60 mph and was slurring her words when she allegedly
used her race as a reason she didn't belong in jail.
Lauren Elizabeth Cutshaw, 32, was charged with a number of
offenses, including drunken driving, speeding and marijuana
possession, after an early Saturday traffic stop in
Bluffton, South Carolina.
Police say a Breathalyzer test showed Cutshaw's blood-
alcohol level at 0.18 percent. A person is considered
impaired if their BAC is .08 percent or higher, according
to South Carolina law.
During the course of the arrest, Cutshaw gave a number of
reasons why she shouldn't be jailed, some of which were
used as evidence of her intoxication, according to police
records obtained by the Associated Press and the Island
Packet.
Among the statements Cutshaw made to police:
She is a "very clean, thoroughbred, white girl."
She was a cheerleader and in a sorority.
Her partner is a police officer.
She had good grades, was in the National Honor Society and
graduated from a "high accredited university."
At the police station, Cutshaw allegedly used her race and
cleanliness as a reason she didn't belong in jail. An
officer, who was also white, questioned why that would
matter.
Cutshaw reportedly replied, "You're a cop, you should know
what that means." She also said the officer should know her
meaning "based on the people that come in this room."
A dashcam video of the arrest shows Cutshaw begging not to
be jailed and calling herself a "pretty girl," according to
the New York Post. In the video she also expressed worry
that the arrest would "ruin her career.”
Cutshaw told police she drank two glasses of wine. When
asked how full the glasses of wine were, she reportedly
replied, "I mean I was celebrating my birthday."
During the arrest, police say they also found marijuana and
rolling papers in her car, and Cutshaw admitted she "may
have" smoked earlier.
The cops must have had a good laugh about the
"Thoroughbred Bimbo".
From: Frieda
Re: Empty subject mails
Dear Webby,
What's the story with mails that arrive without a subject
line? Years ago you showed me how to make a filter to dump
them with Mailwasher,
and that works fine on my work machine, but I am wondering
if I also need that on my home machine. So far I just
dumped those mails manually.
Frieda
Dear Frieda
"No Subject=No Intelligence" still holds true. You'll never
see anything intelligent in an email that arrives without a
subject, and you can use that filter as an IQ filter.
If the senders don't have a positive IQ number, their mail
won't waste your time.
For those who want to know how to make that IQ filter,
select "does not contain RegExpr"
and put \w into the value field.
The \w is a wildcard and stands for "any word character".
That filter is kinda sneaky. If the subject line has only
Chinese, Korean or Arab characters, then that mail gets
marked for dumping too, since I won't read it anyway.
Don't you pity the poor folks who don't have Mailwasher yet?
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
COMPANY B of the 11th Airborne Division stationed in
Germany was sent on a two-day march. The weather was cold
and rainy, and the roads soon turned to mud. The battalion
commander, a colonel, marched with the troops, first with
one group and then another. On this moonless night, most of
the men didn't recognize the colonel with his rain gear on
and military insignia covered up. One miserable private
leaned toward him and said, "Can you believe some idiots
actually make a career out of this?"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
ONE DAY my son's fourth-grade class went on a field trip to
the Woods Hole, Mass., Coast Guard station. As a young
ensign guided the spirited nine- and ten-year-olds on the
tour, a fellow guardsman came up, slapped the ensign on the
back and said,
"I see they finally gave you your own command."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Saving Money on Tea
You can save money on tea by using the same tea bag
twice. Just set the tea bag aside and use it for your next
cup. It cuts the cost of your tea drinking habit in half.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
You never know what you might find when you start construction work or home renovation.
|
___________________________________________________
JOB SEEKERS FROM THE PAST
Julius Caesar:
My last job involved a lot of office politics and back
stabbing. I'd like to get away from all that.
Jesse James:
I can list among my experiences and skills: leadership,
extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate
understanding of firearms, and a knowledge of sescurity
measures at numerous banks.
Marie Antoinette:
My management style has been criticzed, but I'd like to
think of myself as a people person.
Joseph Guillotin:
I can give your company a head start on the competition.
Hamlet:
My position was eliminated in a hostsile takeover.
Lucrezia Borgia:
My greatest accomplishment? After I took over the
department, our competition just seemed to drop out
of sight one by one.
Pandora:
I can bring a lot to your company. I like discovering
new things.
Genghis Khan:
My primary talent is downsizing. On my last job I
downsized my staff, my organization, and the
populations of several countries.
Macbeth:
Would I go after my boss's job? Do I look like the kind
of guy who would knock of his boss for a promotion?
Lady Godiva:
What do you mean this isn't business casual?
Elvis:
My last boss and I...say, are you going to eat those fries?
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
"We have women in the military, but they don't put us in
the front lines.
They don't know if we can fight or if we can kill. I think
we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women
and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look
fat in those uniforms.'"
--- Elayne Boosler
____________________________________________________
Today, August 11 in
1860 The first successful silver mill in America began
operations. The mill was in Virginia City, NV.
1874 A patent for the sprinkler head was given to Harry S.
Parmelee.
1877 The two moons of Mars were discovered by Asaph Hall,
an American astronomer. He named them Phobos and Deimos.
1896 Harvey Hubbell received a patent for the electric
light bulb socket with a pull-chain switch.
1909 The American ship Arapahoe became the first to ever
use the SOS distress signal off the coast of Cape Hatteras,
NC.
1924 Newsreel pictures were taken of U.S. presidential
candidates for the first time.
1934 Alcatraz, in San Francisco Bay, received federal
prisoners for the first time.
1941 The Atlantic Charter was signed by U.S. President
Franklin Roosevelt and British Prime Minister Winston
Churchill.
1942 During World War II, Pierre Laval publicly announced
"the hour of liberation for France is the hour when Germany
wins the war."
1945 The Allies informed Japan that they would determine
Emperor Hirohito's future status after Japan's surrender.
1951 The first major league baseball game to be televised
in color was broadcast. The Brooklyn Dodgers defeated the
Boston Braves 8-1.
1954 Seven years of fighting came to an end in Indochina. A
formal peace was in place for the French and the Communist
Vietminh.
1962 Andrian Nikolayev, of the Soviet Union, was launched
on a 94-hour flight. He was the third Russian to go into
space.
1965 The U.S. conducted a second launch of "Surveyor-SD 2"
for a landing on the Moon surface test.
1975 The U.S. vetoed the proposed admission of North and
South Vietnam to the United Nations. The Security Council
had already refused to consider South Korea's application.
1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan was preparing for his
weekly radio broadcast when, during testing of the
microphone, the President said of the Soviet Union, "My
fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you that I just
signed legislation that would outlaw Russia forever. We
begin bombing in five minutes."
1990 Egyptian and Moroccan troops joined U.S. forces in
Saudia Arabia to help protect from a possible Iraqi attack.
1991 The space shuttle Atlantis ended its nine-day journey
by landing safely.
1992 In Bloomington, MN, the Mall of America opened. It was
the largest shopping mall in the United States.
1994 A U.S. federal jury awarded $286.8 million to about
10,000 commercial fishermen for losses as a result of the
1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill.
1995 All U.S. nuclear tests were banned by President
Clinton.
1997 U.S. President Clinton made the first use of the line-
item veto approved by Congress, rejecting three items in
spending and tax bills.
1998 British Petroleum became No. 3 among oil companies
with the $49 billion purchase of Amoco. It was the largest
foreign takeover of a U.S. company.
2002 US Airways announced that it had filed for bankruptcy.
2003 Charles Taylor, President of Liberia, flew into exile
after ceding power to his vice president, Moses Blah.
2003 In Kabul, NATO took command of the 5,000-strong
peacekeeping force in Afghanistan.
2018 smiled.
|
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Friday, August 10, 2018, 07:45 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, August 10
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Donald Duck received the 2,257th star on the Hollywood
Walk of Fame. The Hollywood Chamber of Commerce has decided
to permanently remove Donald Trump's star since they are
strictly a Mickey Mouse outfit,
and unhappy about the people electing Donald Trump instead
of Broom Hilda.
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Virginia man arrested for robbery
had 2 year old oddler son with him
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, August 10 in
1885 The first electric streetcar, to be used commercially,
was operated in Baltimore, MD, by Leo Daft.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
People can have the Model T in any colour--
so long as it's black.
--- Henry Ford (1863 - 1947)
Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong
word. There are no exceptions to this rule.
--- Stephen King (1947 - )
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Rubye for this story:
Please excuse the rough language in the following
story... I would have deleted them, but the story
wouldn't be the same.
A young couple got married and went on their
honeymoon. When they got back, the bride
immediately called her mother.
"Well,"said her mother,"so how was the
honeymoon?"
Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was
wonderful! So romantic..."
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama,
as soon as we returned, Sam started using
the most horrible language -- things I'd never
heard before!I mean, all these awful 4-letter
words! You've got to take me home...,
"PLEASE MAMA!"
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down!
You need to stay with your husband and work
this out. Now, tell me,
what could be so awful
WHAT 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the
daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too
awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset.
Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama..., he used words
like: dust, wash, iron, and cook..."
"Oy, what a schmuck! I'll pick you up in twenty minutes,"
said the mother.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Lundy Wayne Riley, 29,
Newport News,
Virginia
Virginia man arrested for robbery
had 2 year old oddler son with him
A man has been charged after attempting a robbery with his
two-year-old son with him during the incident, according to
police.
On August 5 around 3:30 a.m., police were dispatched to the
All Auto Repairs shop located at 9412 Warwick Boulevard.
At the same time, units were across the street at the 7-
Eleven with a man in custody on attempted robbery charges.
The owner of the auto shop said he had had a burglary alarm
go off at his business and the front door had been smashed.
Police said their investigation revealed the man in custody
for robbery had attempted to burglarize the auto shop at 3
a.m.
Police said he also tried to take the 7-Eleven clerk's car
keys and assaulted a second person in an unsuccessful
attempt to take his car keys as well.
Police identified the man as 29-year-old Lundy Wayne Riley.
They said he had his two-year-old son with him during the
incidents. The young boy was not injured, police said.
Riley was charged with Attempted Robbery, Burglary and
Contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor.
From: Mindy
Re: Excite.com
Dear Webby,
What's with all this spam coming from excite.com?
Can't anything be done about it?
Mindy
Dear Mindy
Excite seems to be spammer friendly.
I simply trash all mail coming from excite.com,
right on the server, unseen by anybody, automatically.
If you don't have MailWasher, then
tell your ISP to block all mail coming from excite.com.
You never get any useful mail from an excite.com address
anyway.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked
whether or not she'd have children if she had it to do
over
again.
"Sure," she replied, "but not the same ones."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
A teacher was giving a lesson on the blood circulation.
"If I stood on my head, then the blood, as you know, would
flow into my head and I would turn red in the face," she
explained.
"That's right," remarked one of the students.
"Then why doesn't the blood flow into my feet when I'm
standing upright in an ordinary position?"
shouted, "That's because your feet
are not empty!"
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cleaning Dirty Burner Rings
Remove the rings from the stove. Place a paper towel that
has been dampened with ammonia on top of each ring and
put them in a plastic bag. Tie closed and let it sit outside overnight. The next day, open the bag outside, then wash the rings with a mild dish soap.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
The "Groom of Stool."Â The toilet duties of Dukes and Duchesses of England.
|
___________________________________________________
An old lady had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that
she was getting on in years, she thought she would really
like to do so before she died.
But until now, she'd never even been out of the country. So
she began by going in person to the Passport Office and
asking how long it would take to have one issued.
"You must take the loyalty oath first," responded the
passport clerk. "Raise your right hand, please."
The old gal raised her right hand.
"Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United
States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?" was
the first question.
The little old lady's face paled and her voice trembled as
she asked in a small voice, "Uhhh . . . all by myself?"
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Are you interested in making $$$$ fast?
Here's an incredibly simple way to do it,
and there is nothing to buy,
no investment to make,
no money to lose!
Try it now!
Follow this simple procedure:
1) Hold down the shift key.
2) Hit the 4 key four times really quickly.
----------
Are you going to groan first, or forward it first?
____________________________________________________
Today, August 10 in
1792 King Louis XVI was taken into custody by mobs during
the French Revolution. He was executed the following
January after being put on trial for treason.
1809 Ecuador began its fight for independence from Spain.
1846 The Smithsonian Institution was chartered by the U.S.
Congress. The "Nation's Attic" was made possible by
$500,000 given by scientist Joseph Smithson.
1859 In Boston, MA, the first milk inspectors were
appointed.
1869 The motion picture projector was patented by O.B.
Brown.
1881 Thomas Edison's exhibit opened the Paris Electrical
Exhibition.
1885 The first electric streetcar, to be used commercially,
was operated in Baltimore, MD, by Leo Daft.
1914 Austria-Hungary invaded Russia.
1927 Mount Rushmore was formally dedicated. The individual
faces of the presidents were dedicated later.
1944 U.S. forces defeated the remaining Japanese resistance
on Guam.
1945 The day after the atomic bombing of Nagasaki, Japan
announced they would surrender. The only condition was that
the status of Emperor Hirohito would remain unchanged.
1947 William Odom completed an around-the-world flight. He
set the solo record by completing the flight in 73 hours
and 5 minutes.
1948 On ABC, "Candid Camera" made its TV debut. The
original title was "Candid Microphone."
1954 Construction began on the St. Lawrence Seaway.
1988 U.S. President Reagan signed a measure that provided
$20,000 payments to Japanese-Americans who were interned by
the U.S. government during World War II.
1994 U.S. President Clinton claimed presidential immunity
when he asked a federal judge to dismiss, at least for the
time being, a sexual harassment lawsuit filed by Paula
Corbin Jones.
1995 Norma McCorvey, "Jane Roe" of the 1973 U.S. Supreme
Court decision legalizing abortion, announced that she had
joined the anti-abortion group Operation Rescue.
1999 Near an India-Pakistan border area an Indian fighter
jet shot down a Pakistani naval aircraft. Sixteen people
were killed.
2003 Ekaterina Dmitriev and Russian cosmonaut Yuri
Malenchenko were married. Malenchenko was about 240 miles
above the earth in the international space station. It was
the first-ever marriage from space.
2004 Donald Duck received the 2,257th star on the Hollywood
Walk of Fame. Donald Trump's star was permanetly removed
by the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce because he is not a
Communist / Socialist.
2018 smiled.
|
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Thursday, August 9, 2018, 11:32 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, August 9
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Jacksonville man arrested for
molesting teen inside church
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, August 9 in
1831 The first American steam locomotive began its
first trip between Schenectady and Albany, NY.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Genuine goodness is threatening to those at the opposite
end of the moral spectrum.
--- Charles Spencer
Don't discuss yourself, for you are bound to lose; if you
belittle yourself, you are believed; if you praise
yourself, you are disbelieved.
--- Michel de Montaigne (1533 - 1592)
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A rabbi is walking slowly down the street when a gust of
wind blows his hat from his head. The hat is being blown
down the street, but he is an old man, using a cane, and he
can't walk fast enough to catch the hat. Across the street
a young man sees what has happened ! and rushes over to
grab the hat and returns it to the rabbi.
"I don't think I would have been able to catch my hat,"
says the rabbi. "Thank you very much." The rabbi then
places his hand on the man's shoulder and says, "May God
bless you."
The young man thinks to himself, "I've been blessed by the
rabbi. This must be my lucky day!" So he goes to the
racetrack, and in the first race he sees there is a horse
named Stetson at 20 to 1. He bets $50, and sure enough, the
horse comes in first.
In the second race he sees a horse named Fedora at 30 to 1,
so he bets it all and this horse comes in first also.
Finally, at the end of the day, he returns home to his
wife. When she asks him where he's been, he explains how he
caught the rabbi's hat and was blessed by him and then went
to the track and started winning on horses that had a hat
in their names.
"So where's the money?" she asks.
"I lost it all in the ninth race. I bet on a horse named
Chateau and it lost."
"You fool, Chateau is a house; Chapeau is a hat!"
"It doesn't matter," he said. "The winner was some Japanese
horse named Yarmulke."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Robert Browning, 59,
Jacksonville,
Florida
Jacksonville man arrested for
molesting teen inside church
The Jacksonville Sheriff's Office announced the arrest of a
Jacksonville man for lewd or lascivious battery,
molestation and transmission of material harmful to minors.
Robert Browning, 59, is accused of having an inappropriate
relationship with a person under the age of 16.
According to the report from JSO, the minor and Browning
exchanged nude photographs.
The report said Browning and the victim engaged in
consensual oral sex and that Browning conducted lewd
molestation on the victim.
Text messages from the phones were retrieved, revealing
contestation about the relationship, the report said.
The incident is alleged to have occurred inside the Cedar
Creek Baptist Church in Jacksonville. Browning had worked
at the school and church for 6 years.
He has been fired.
The pastor, John Montgomery, said news of the arrest was a
"total shock."
“Out of all the people who we have hired, out of these many
many years, he would have been the last person that I would
have thought to have done something like this," Montgomery
said. "He never gave any appearance of this."
From: Tina
Re: Hidden phishing URLs in Outlook
Dear Webby,
I know you warned us about Outlook not showing dangerous
URLs and only the phony nicknames in spoofs and phishing
emails, but the boneheads at Telus are not competent enough
to support anything except Outlook and Outlook Express.
At one time, all they supported was Eudora, but those days
are as gone as cheap gas and my sexy looks.
Is there ANY way at all to trick Outlook into showing
whether for example the nickname "eBay.com" links to eBay
or to some crook in Russia or Romania?
Thanks
Tina
Dear Tina
I got a lot of mails like yours, and I spent a lot of time
searching. However, it seems that, when those programs were
written, making them "cute and bimbo-proof" was the top
and only priority. Nobody knows of a setting to make them
act like standard email programs.
However, I found a third party patch that will fix that
problem.
It is called Blue Fur Phish Finder and is available at
BuleFur Phish Phinder
However, if you are serious about eliminating all scams,
get Mail Washer.
It not only shows the secret underlying real email,
checks the content for malicious or phony stuff, and flags
it OK or ready to send to hell,
You can, of course, look over the recommended actions and
take the delete flag off a mail that was erroneously
flagged.
You can also make filters so that it dumps certain mails
without listing them. For example, if you are fed up with
Publishers Clearing House and never want to see their
emails again, then you make a filter to automatically dump
those mails, without showing them in the list.
The same goes for foreign spam. If you don't speak or read
Korean or Russian, you can block mails using those
languages or coming from those countries.
It is like an intellectual game, you and Mailwasher against
the scammers and spammers. It is pretty good already as is,
but as you customize it it gets more precise every time you
touch it.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
At the beginning of a children's sermon, one girl came up
to the altar wearing a beautiful dress. As the children
were sitting down around the pastor, the pastor leaned over
and said to the girl, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it
your Sunday dress?"
The girl replied almost directly into the pastor's clip-on
mike,
"Yes . . and my mom says it's a summana-bitch to iron."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked,
"What kinds of ice cream do you have?"
"Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she
spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue.
"You got laryngitis?" the young man asked sympathetically.
"Nope," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate and
strawberry."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Makeshift Knife Sharpener
In a pinch, you can sharpen a knife on the bottom of a
ceramic coffee mug. Hold the blade at a slight angle
and sharpen it on the unglazed ring on the bottom of the
mug. It's not ideal, but it will work.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Five of the world's most fascinating small towns.
|
___________________________________________________
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife
stopped by his office. She found him with his secretary
sitting in his lap.
Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion,
gentlemen, shortage or no shortage, I cannot continue
to operate this office with just one chair that is safe to
use."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
There was this party in the woods and all of a sudden there
was a downpour of thunder and rain.
These two young men ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring
rain, finally reaching their car just as the rain let up.
They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the
road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer
after the other.
All of a sudden an old man's face appeared in the passenger
window and tapped lightly on the window!
The passenger screamed out, "eeeeekkk! Look at my window!!!
There's an old guy's face there!" (Was this a
ghost?!?!?!?)
This old man kept knocking, so the driver said "well open
the window a little and ask him what he wants!"
So the other passenger rolled his window down part way and
said, scared out of his wits, "What do you want???"
The old man sofly replied, "Do you have any tobacco?"
The passenger , terrified, looked at the driver and said,
"He wants tobacco!"
"Well give him a cigarette! HURRY!!" the driver replies.
So he fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a
cigarette and yells "Step on it!!",
rolling up the window in terror. Now with the speedometer
showing about 80 miles an hour, they calm down and they
start laughing again, and the passenger says,
"What do you think of that?"
The driver says, "I don't know? How could that be? I am
going pretty fast?"
Then all of a sudden AGAIN there is a knock on the window
and there is the old man again.
"aaaaaaaaaaaaa, there he is again!", the passenger yells.
"Well, see what he wants now!" yells back the driver.
He rolls down the window a little ways and shakely says
"Yes?"
"Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asks.
He throws a lighter out the window at him and rolls
up the window and yells, "STEP ON IT!"
They are now doing about 100 miles an hour and still
guzzling beer, trying to forget what they had just seen
and heard, when all of a sudden again there is more
knocking!
"Oh my God! HE'S BACK!"
He rolls down the window and screams out in sheer terror,
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
The old man gently replies, "Do you guys want some help
getting out of the mud???"
____________________________________________________
Today, August 9 in
1790 The Columbia returned to Boston Harbor after a three-
year voyage. It was the first ship to carry the American
flag around the world.
1831 The first American steam locomotive began its
first trip between Schenectady and Albany, NY.
1842 The U.S. and Canada signed the Webster-Ashburton
Treaty, which solved a border dispute.
1848 Martin Van Buren was nominated for president by the
Free-Soil Party in Buffalo, NY.
1854 "Walden" was published by Henry David Thoreau.
1859 The escalator was patented by Nathan Ames.
1892 Thomas Edison received a patent for a two-way
telegraph.
1893 "Gut Holz" was published. It was America's first
bowling magazine.
1910 A.J. Fisher received a patent for the electric washing
machine.
1930 Betty Boop had her beginning in "Dizzy Dishes" created
by Max Fleischer.
1936 Jesse Owens won his fourth gold medal at the Berlin
Olympics. He was the first American to win four medals in
one Olympics.
1942 Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested Britain. He was not
released until 1944.
1942 CBS radio debuted "Our Secret Weapon."
1944 The Forest Service and Wartime Advertising Council
created "Smokey the Bear."
1945 The U.S. dropped an atomic bomb on Nagasaki. The
bombing came three days after the bombing of Hiroshima.
About 74,000 people were killed. Conventional bombing of
Tokyo continued. Japan surrendered August 14.
1945 The first network television broadcast occurred in
Washington, DC. The program announced the bombing of
Nagasaki, Japan.
1956 The first statewide, state-supported educational
television network went on the air in Alabama.
1965 Singapore proclaimed its independence from the
Malaysian Federation.
1973 The U.S. Senate committee investigating the Watergate
affair filed suit against President Richard Nixon.
1974 U.S. PresidentRichard Nixon formally resigned. Gerald
R. Ford took his place, and became the 38th president of
the U.S.
1975 The New Orleans Superdome was officially opened when
the Saints played the Houston Oilers in exhibition
football. The new Superdome cost $163 million to build.
1988 Wayne Gretzky (Edmonton Oilers) was traded. The trade
was at Gretzky's request. He was sent to the Los Angeles
Kings.
1996 Boris Yeltsin was sworn in as president of Russia for
the second time.
1999 Russian President Boris Yeltsin fired Prime Minister
Sergei Stepashin and his entire cabinet for the fourth time
in 17 months.
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush announced he would
support federal funding for limited medical research on
embryonic stem cells.
2004 Donald Duck received the 2,257th star on the Hollywood
Walk of Fame.
2018 smiled.
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Wednesday, August 8, 2018, 07:16 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, August 8
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
4-year-old drowned in river was
screaming as mom carried her into water
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, August 8 in
1899 The refrigerator was patented by A.T. Marshall
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
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please donate what you can! |
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The prime purpose of eloquence is to keep other people
from talking.
--- Louis Vermeil
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility,
there are so few of us left.
--- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972)
The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole
cause of all our adversities.
--- Sophocles
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A man goes to a clinic early on a Monday morning and asks
to see a doctor. He appears to be in great pain, and his
hands are in bandages.
The nurse looks at him sympathetically.
"Arthritis, with complications?" she asks.
"No," says the man. "Do-it-yourself, with concrete blocks."
-------------
Believe it or not, the best remedy by far is doing the
dishes! Not loading the dishwasher, but doing them the old
fashioned way with your hands deep in the dish water.
I have done a lot of concrete work and I KNOW.
After doing concrete work I will fight for doing the
dishes.
Actually, I learned to like doing them and volunteer even
if there is no concrete work for many miles around.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Looks like Grand Canyon, AZ
Wish I was there!
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Shakayla Monae Denson, 26,
Tampa,
Florida
4-year-old drowned in river was
screaming as mom carried her into water
The Tampa police chief’s voice seemed to halt more than
once Friday as he updated the public on the shocking death
of Je’Hyrah Daniels, who witnesses said was carried
screaming into the Hillsborough River by her mother
Thursday afternoon and left there to drown.
Shakayla Monae Denson, 26, is charged with first-degree
felony murder, aggravated child abuse and grand theft auto,
Chief Brian Dugan said during a Friday morning media
briefing.
She had been observed earlier, when she stole a car and
forced the kid into it, and again later, when she pulled
the screaming kid out of the car and carried her into the
river. The kid seems to have been aware that her mother was
going to drown her.
The chief said investigators are struggling to determine
why Denson would kill her daughter.
“Unfortunately, when you deal with these tragic situations,
we tend to have more questions than we do the answers,”
Dugan said. “We’re still digging into Denson and what her
state of mind is.”
The girl's mother, Shakayla Denson, 26, is accused of
carrying the screaming girl into the river and dumping her
in the murky water before wading out again. The girl's body
was found by divers about 30 minutes later. Bronte
Wittpenn/Tampa Bay Times via AP
“We’re going to have to figure out what her mindset was
that took her and put her in a place where she would leave
a 4-year-old to drown in the Hillsborough River,” Dugan
said.
WFTS in Tampa reported that the Hillsborough County
Sheriff’s Office wrapped up an investigation into Denson’s
parenting just three days before Je’Hyrah was killed. The
agency’s Child Protection Investigation Division began a
probe June 19 into allegations of inadequate supervision of
the girl.
The investigative report obtained by the news station
states that about a month before, the toddler was with her
mother at her great-grandmother’s home when she wandered
away to a nearby park. Though the distance from the house
to the park was not listed, the case worker estimated it to
be about a six-minute walk.
“The mother seems overwhelmed and tired of caring for
Je’Hyrah,” the summary of allegations in the report says.
“Je’Hyrah is (redacted) non-verbal, and it seems like the
mother is upset that she has these disabilities and is not
the baby she dreamed of having.
“The mother is easily distracted and doesn't show much
attention toward Je'Hyrah. She just lets her run around and
do what she wants. She doesn't seem to have the maturity
to
address the special needs that Je’Hyrah has.”
The case worker assigned to the investigation reported that
Denson’s home was appropriate and free of hazards and had
a
security system that sounded if a door was opened. Je’Hyrah
appeared well cared for and had no bruises or other marks
visible on her body, the report says.
“She was playing in the house during the visit and appeared
to be happy, healthy and active,” the report states. “She
was bonded with the mother and appeared to listen to basic
commands.”
From: Juniper
Re: Disappearing files
Dear Webby,
Lately I noticed that MailWasher will spool down a hundred or
so mails, but then just show a listing of 15 - 20.
What's the scoop?
Should I be concerned?
Juniper
Dear Juniper
That's just a sign that you are getting good with making
filters. For example, if you made a filter that deletes
mails automatically, if they contain the names of certain
pharmaceuticals or watches or stock in the body of the
mail, then MailWasher will count them, but it won't insult
your eyes with that crap.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
An old Spanish poet from the middle centuries whose name is
unknown, made the following statement: "One must attempt
the ridiculous, if he expects to achieve the impossible."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.
Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get-well
card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.
Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description
the way you wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a
search committee to find somebody capable of filling the
position.
Good News: You finally found a choir director who
approaches things exactly the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.
Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show,"
"Beavis and Butthead" and "Texas Chain Saw Massacre."
Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game.
Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.
Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church
parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your
parsonage.
Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last
three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.
Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.
Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.
Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your
denomination.
Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for
a surprise visit.
Bad News: It's in the middle of the night and they are
armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to "decorate"
your house.
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Muddy Footprints
When you get muddy footprints in your house or car,
sprinkle them with baking soda and let them dry. Once dry,
vacuum up the dirt and then clean any leftover stain with
Resolve or a similar carpet spot cleaner. If you try to
clean the mud when it is wet, it will just spread it
around.
If you are in a hurry, use Zorb-All or any similar
industrial absorbent material. You get it at automotive
parts stores and many industrial and construction supply
places. It is sort of like an industrial strength kitty
litter. A bag that will fill 3 five gallon pails is usually
around $12 - $15. It will absorb any liquid and even pull
dried and sun baked motor oil out of carpet or concrete.
Just sprinkle it on, spread it a bit and let it sit for 15
-20 minutes, less if it is just puddle mud, then sweep or
vacuum.
Even ancient oil stains on your driveway from the previous
owner's old klunker, will get pulled out of the concrete
over night.
Don't get stuck on the name "Zorb-All". That's a generic
name like "Crescent Wrench". The people at the automotive
parts store will know what you mean, but the name on the
bag will depend on where you live and the brand they stock.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
This artist burns fractals into wood and then turns
it into furniture. Look at the gallery on their web site.
|
___________________________________________________
A tall, handsome, confident gentleman walked over to a girl
and made a disparaging remark about the men who had been
chatting her up.
She laughed gaily, "When I don't want a man's attentions,"
she confided, "and he asks where I live, I just say, 'I'm
visiting here.'"
"Ha-ha," he laughed, relishing her humor. "Where do you
really live?"
"In Alaska. I'm just visiting here."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
OLE 'N LENA HAVE A BABY
Lena is pregnant with Ole's child. Late one night, Lena
vakes Ole and says, "I tink it's time!"
So Ole fired up the Yohn Deere tractor and took her to the
hospital to have their first baby. She had a little boy,
and the doctor looked over at Ole and said,
"A son! Ain't dat great!"
Well, Ole got excited by dis, but yust den the doctor
spoke up and said, "Hold on! We ain't finished yet!"
The doctor den held up a little girl. He said,
"Hey, Ole! You got you a daughter!" She's a pretty little
ting, too."
Ole got kind of puzzled by this, an then the doctor said,
"Holey Moley, Ole, we still ain't done yet!"
The doctor then delivered another boy and said,
"Ole, you yust had yourself another boy!"
Ole was flabbergasted by this news!
A couple days later, Ole brought Lena and their three
children home in the self-propelled combine. He was real
serious and he asked Lena,
"How come we got tree on the first try?"
Lena said, "You remember dat night we ran out of Vaseline
and you vent out in the garage and got dat dere 3-in-1
Oil?"
Ole said, "Yeah, I do. Uffda!
It's a dam good ting I didn't get the WD-40."
____________________________________________________
Today, August 8 in
1356 Edward "the Black Prince" began a raid north from
Aquitaine.
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte set sail for St. Helena, in the
South Atlantic. The remainder of his life was spent there
in exile.
1844 After the killing of Joseph Smith on June 27, Bringham
Young was chosen to lead the Mormons.
1876 Thomas Edison received a patent for the mimeograph.
The mimeograph was a "method of preparing autographic
stencils for printing."
1899 The refrigerator was patented by A.T. Marshall.
1900 In Boston, the first Davis Cup series began. The U.S.
team defeated Great Britain three matches to zero.
1911 The number of representatives in the U.S. House of
Representatives was established at 435. There was one
member of Congress for every 211,877 residents.
1940 The German Luftwaffe began a series of daylight air
raids on Great Britain.
1945 The United Nations Charter was signed by U.S.
President Truman.
1945 At the end of World War II the Soviet Union declared
war on Japan.
1950 Whataburger opened its restaurant in Corpus Christi,
TX.
1953 The U.S. and South Korea initiated a mutual security
pact.
1956 Japan launched an oil tanker that was 780 feet long
and weighed 84,730 tons. It was the largest oil tanker in
the world.
1966 Michael DeBakey became the first surgeon to install an
artificial heart pump in a patient.
1974 U.S. President Nixon announced that he would resign
the following day.
1978 The U.S. launched Pioneer Venus II, which carried
scientific probes to study the atmosphere of Venus.
1988 It was announced that a cease-fire between Iraq and
Iran had begun.
1989 The space shuttle Columbia took off from Cape
Canaveral, FL. The trip was said to be a secret five-day
military mission.
1990 American forces began positioning in Saudia Arabia,
ready to step across the line into Iraq.
1991 John McCarthy, a British TV producer, was released by
his Lebanese kidnappers. He had been held captive for more
than five years. A rival group abducted Jerome Leyraud in
retaliation and threatened to kill him if any more hostages
were released.
1991 The U.N. Security Council approved North and South
Korea for membership.
1994 The first road link between Israel and Jordan opened.
1994 Representatives from China and Taiwan signed a
cooperation agreement.
1995 Saddam Hussein's two eldest daughters, their husbands,
and several senior army officers defected.
2000 The submarine H.L. Hunley was raised from ocean bottom
after 136 years. The sub had been lost during an attack on
the U.S.S. Housatonic in 1864. The Hunley was the first
submarine in history to sink a warship.
2018 smiled.
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Tuesday, August 7, 2018, 09:40 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, August 7
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Serial killer accidentally kills himself
while ‘masturbating with electricity’
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, August 7 in
1947 The balsa wood raft Kon-Tiki, which had carried a six-
man crew 4,300 miles across the Pacific Ocean, crashed into
a reef in a Polynesian archipelago.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist.
--- Harrison Ford (1942 - )
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
While on leave, my Marine buddy and I met two nursing
students from Southern California. After chatting them up
awhile, the conversation turned to what we did in the
service. When we told them we were in the infantry, the
girls seemed very impressed, giving us big smiles as they
told us how sweet that was.
Since infantry and sweet are seldom used in the same
sentence, I was a little confused. Until, that is, one of
the girls said, "We admire any man who works with
infants."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Egidius Schiffer
Bochum,
Germany
Serial killer accidentally kills himself
while ‘masturbating with electricity’
in cell
A serial killer jailed for the murder of five women has
been found dead in his cell after hooking up an electric
current to his nipples and penis.
Egidius Schiffer, dubbed the Aechen Strangler, is believed
to have killed himself accidentally whilst masturbating
with electric shocks at Bochum Prison in Germany. He was
found dead on Sunday with a table lamp chord attached to
his body parts while the other end was plugged into an
electric socket.
Schiffer murdered five hitchhikers between 1983 and 1990
and was sentenced to life imprisonment, according to The
Times. A Bochum Prison spokeswoman Candida Tunkel said: ‘He
removed a cable from his bedside table lamp, then wound it
around his nipples and his penis and stuck the end in a
power socket.’ Schiffer died from heart failure after an
electric current flowed through his chest and his death was
likely the result of an accident ‘rather than a suicidal
incident’, officials said.
He was being held in solitary confinement and last seen
alive at 1pm on Saturday. Schiffer was jailed 18 years
after his last murder after DNA evidence linked him to the
killing in 2008. He was caught because he had given a DNA
sample to police after being suspected of stealing scrap
metal. His five victims were all women, aged between 15 and
31, and he had raped three of them.
------------
Knowing electricity, I would say he must have had some
help. Unlike the Direct Current used in tasers, household
current is Alternating Current, which does not paralyze. It
would have made him jump like the proverbial African
Magician and would have torn the wires off his body just
from involuntary movements. You have probably seen all the
belts and straps used on Electric Chairs, because of the
involuntary movements due to Alternating Current.
He would have had to have a bunch of people sitting on him,
to be still for the 5 seconds required to stop his heart.
Well, it makes no difference. He is in hell now.
From Fran
Re: Selective screen capture
Dear Webby,
think you might have answered this before, but I can't
find it. How do I capture just the active window, not the
entire screen ?
Thanks
Fran
Dear Fran
Try ALT and the PrintScreen key.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
is approached by the lifeguard at the public
swimming pool.
"You're not allowed to pee in the pool," said the
lifeguard.
"I'm going to have to report you."
"But everyone pees in the pool," said .
"Maybe," said the lifeguard, "but not from the diving
board!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
A clergyman, walking down a country lane, sees a young
farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had
fallen off.
"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "Why don't you
rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."
"No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't like
it."
"Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled
to a break. Come and have a drink of water."
Again the young man protested that his father would be
upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your
father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can
find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"
"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of
hay
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Friends and Family Mailing Lists
Consider setting up an email discussion list to help stay
in touch with friends and family. It can be a great way to
post announcements with family members all over the
world.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
The new Silk Road
|
___________________________________________________
Two Canadians are driving in Texas. A Texas Ranger
notices out of the country plates and turns on the
lights and pulls them over.
Officer walks over to the car, the driver rolls down
his window and the officer takes his billy club and
whacks the driver on the back of the head.
The Canadian driver asks what that was for. The officer
says, "This is Texas, boy, when you see these flashing
lights to pull you over, you gets your insurance,
license and registration ready, don't make me wait!"
The officer checks them out and returns the documents.
Then the officer walks over to the other side of the
car and taps his wand on the glass, the passenger rolls
down his window and the officer whacks him in the head.
"What was that for", the Canadian Passenger asks.
"Boy", I just made your wishes come true,"says the
officer.
"What does that mean" asks the passenger. "Well, you
boys are going to get five miles down the road and
you're going to say, "Boy, I wish that dumb cop had
tried that with me!"
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
A tenderfoot scout is on his first camping trip. As soon as
he has pitched his tent, he goes for a hike in the woods.
In about 15 minutes, however, he rushes back into camp,
bruised, bleeding and disheveled.
"What happened?" asks his patrol leader.
"I was chased by a black snake," the frightened boy cries.
The older boy smiles. "A black snake isn't deadly," he says
"Hey," the tenderfoot groans. "If it can make you jump off
a 150-foot cliff, it is."
____________________________________________________
Today, August 7 in
1782 George Washington created the Order of the Purple
Heart.
1888 Theophilus Van Kannel received a patent for the
revolving door.
1914 Germany invaded France.
1928 The U.S. Treasure Department issued a new bill that
was one third smaller than the previous U.S. bills.
1934 The U.S. Court of Appeals upheld a lower court ruling
striking down the government's attempt to ban the
controversial James Joyce novel "Ulysses."
1942 U.S. forces landed at Guadalcanal, marking the start
of the first major official allied offensive in the Pacific
during World War II. There had been many inofficial battles
earlier, which had prompted the Japanese to "retaliate" at
Pearl harbor.
1947 The balsa wood raft Kon-Tiki, which had carried a six-
man crew 4,300 miles across the Pacific Ocean, crashed into
a reef in a Polynesian archipelago.
1959 The U.S. launched Explorer 6, which sent back a
picture of the Earth.
1960 The Cuban Catholic Church condemned the rise of
communism in Cuba. Fidel Castro then banned all religious
TV and radio broadcasts.
1964 The U.S. Congress passed the Gulf of Tonkin
resolution, which gave President Johnson broad powers in
dealing with reported North Vietnamese attacks on U.S.
forces.
1974 French stuntman Philippe Petit walked a tightrope
strung between the twin towers of New York's World Trade
Center.
1976 Scientists in Pasadena, CA, announced that the Viking
1 spacecraft had found strong indications of possible life
on Mars.
1983 AT&T employees went on strike.
1987 The presidents of five Central American nations, met
in Guatemala City, and signed an 11-point agreement
designed to bring peace to their region.
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered U.S. troops
and warplanes to Saudi Arabia to guard against a possible
invasion by Iraq.
1999 Tony Gwynn (San Diego Padres) got his 3,000th hit of
his major league career.
2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that he
would run for the office of governor.
2003 Stephen Geppi bought a 1963 G.I. Joe prototype for
$200,000.
2018 smiled.
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Lights for mixed indoor/outdoor shots
Monday, August 6, 2018, 08:25 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, August 6
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Youngest woman to plot terror attack
on British soil jailed for life
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, August 6 in
1945 The American B-29 bomber, known as the Enola Gay,
dropped the first atomic bomb on an inhabited area. The
bomb named "Little Boy" was dropped over the center of
Hiroshima, Japan. An estimated 140,000 people were killed.
(8:16am Japanese time)
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad, and
that is my religion.
--- Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be
happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
--- Socrates (469 BC - 399 BC)
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
At a Milwaukee post office, a woman complained to the clerk
that a Pony Express rider could get a letter from
Milwaukee to St. Louis in two days, and now it takes five.
"I'd like to know why," she scoffed.
The clerk thought a moment and then suggested,
"I guess the ponies must be getting old."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Pretty Boy is going to get his ears pierced in a moment!
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Safaa Boular, 18,
in jail
London,
England
Youngest woman to plot terror attack
on British soil jailed for life
The youngest woman in history to be convicted of plotting a
terror attack on British soil has been jailed for life.
Safaa Boular, 18, hid her Islamic State-inspired plans in
coded conversations about preparations for an innocent Mad
Hatter’s tea party. She today became the final member of
Britain’s first all-woman terror cell to be sentenced at
the Old Bailey.
Boular was sitting her GCSEs when she was seduced online by
IS fighter Naweed Hussain, who was originally from
Coventry. After she was stopped from joining the 32-year-
old in Syria, she discussed a grenade and gun attack on the
British Museum instead.
Their plans were uncovered by online MI5 role-players and
the Boular family home in Vauxhall, south London, was
bugged. Boular’s resolve was strengthened when she learned
Hussain had been killed in a drone strike in early April
last year. While in custody for trying to travel to the war
zone, she passed the baton to her older sibling Rizlaine.
In coded telephone calls, they discussed a traditional
English tea party with an Alice in Wonderland theme, the
trial heard.
Rizlaine Boular then set about arming herself and looking
at targets around the Palace Of Westminster. She was helped
by her mother Mina Dich, unaware they were being watched by
counter-terrorism police. The older sister shared her plans
with her friend Khawla Barghouthi, 21, and even practiced
the knife attack at her home in Willesden, north-west
London. Rizlaine, 22, was shot when armed police moved in
to arrest the gang on 27 April last year but made a full
recovery. She was jailed for life with a minimum term of 16
years, having admitted preparing acts of terrorism. Dich,
44, from Vauxhall Cross, south London, was jailed for six
years and nine months with an additional five years on
licence for helping her.
UK Barghouthi, who pleaded guilty to failing to alert
authorities, was jailed for two years and four months.
Following a trial Safaa Boular was found guilty of two
counts of preparing terrorist acts. She was today jailed
for life with a minimum of 13 years.
Tech Support Pits
From Kelly
Re: Lights for digital camera
Dear Webby,
What kinds of lights should I get for taking mixed indoor
and outdoor pictures with my digital camera?
Thanks
Kelly
Dear Kelly
When mixing indoor and outdoor, as in taking a picture out
through an archway or a window or door towards scenery,
you need very powerful lights.
1000 Watt, yes one thousand Watt Quartz construction lights
work best. They usually come with an adjustable swivel
mount
and a huge alligator clamp to attach it to just about
anything.
Put a regular 1500 Watt dimmer switch and outlet into a
dual
outlet box for exterior usage at the end of an extension
cord.
The exterior outlet boxes not only make it usable outside,
they have smooth corners and don't tear up your equipment
case.
1000 Watts might seem like an awful lot, but there will be
times when you wish you had two of them.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
"At a recent speech to hundreds of university professors,
Bill Gates said it's puzzling why more kids don't want to
become computer programmers. Gee, I don't know, you think
maybe it's because at some point they'd actually like to
have a girlfriend."
---Jay Leno
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Fellow was trying to hit on a Blackjack dealer in Las Vegas
without success.
Finally in desperation he said, "Look. I'll give ya a
hundred to sleep with me tonight."
"You ain't gonna get no where being so crude either buddy."
the girl said. "Tell ya what. Try betting me 100 dollars
at 2:1 that I won't put out for ya."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Wash New Colored T-shirt Separately
By littergitter
A red t-shirt that is being washed in the sink to remove
the excess dye.I put my red t-shirt in the bag with some
dirty clothes to bring home from a trip. It must have had a
little damp spot on it because it bled onto my beige
shorts. I'm glad I did not throw it in the wash with the
colored clothes. The white on my husbands plaid shirts may
have come out pink.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Pretend you're on a sightseeing trip and scroll slowly through the trip of a lifetime
|
___________________________________________________
A Scotsman was dying. On his deathbed, he looked up and
said: "Is my wife here?"
His wife replies: "Yes, dear, I'm here, next to you.."
The Scot goes: "Are my children here?"
"Yes, daddy, we are all here." say the children.
The Scot: "Are my other relatives also here?"
And they say: "Yes, we are all here..."
The Scot gets up and says:
"Then why the hell is the light on in the kitchen?"
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
A man once counseled his son that if he wanted to live a
long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder
on his corn flakes every morning.
The son did this religiously, and he lived to the age of
93.
When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35
great-grandchildren, and a 15 foot hole in the wall of
the crematorium.
____________________________________________________
Today, August 6 in
1787 At the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia
debate began on the first draft of the U.S. Constitution.
1806 The Holy Roman Empire went out of existence as
Emperor Francis II abdicated.
1825 Bolivia declared independence from Peru.
1879 The first Australian rules football game to be
played at night took place at the Melbourne Cricket Ground.
The game was to promote the introduction of electricity to
the city of Melbourne.
1914 Austria-Hungary declared war against Russia because
Russia sided with Serbia. Serbia declared war against
Germany.
1926 Gertrude Ederle became the first American woman to
swim the English Channel. She was 19 years old at the time.
The swim took her 14 1/2 hours.
1926 Warner Brothers premiered its Vitaphone system in
New York. The movie was "Don Juan," starring John
Barrymore.
1945 The American B-29 bomber, known as the Enola Gay,
dropped the first atomic bomb on an inhabited area. The
bomb named "Little Boy" was dropped over the center of
Hiroshima, Japan. An estimated 140,000 people were killed.
(8:16am Japanese time)
1960 Nationalization of U.S. and foreign-owned property
in Cuba began. The oil companies and the plantations have
never forgiven them for the theft.
1962 Jamaica became an independent dominion within the
British Commonwealth.
1969 The first fair ball to be hit completely out of
Dodger Stadium occurred. Willie "Pops" Stargell, of the
Pittsburgh Pirates, hit the ball 506 feet from home plate.
1981 Fire fighters in Indianapolis, IN, answered a false
alarm. When they returned to their station it was ablaze
due to a grease fire.
1985 The 40th anniversary of the Hiroshima atomic bombing
brought tens of thousands of Japanese and foreigners to
Hiroshima.
1986 William J. Schroeder died. He lived 620 days with
the Jarvik-7 manmade heart. He was the world's longest
surviving recipient of a permanent artificial heart.
1990 The U.N. Security Council ordered a worldwide trade
embargo with Iraq. The embargo was to punish Iraq for
invading Kuwait.
1995 Thousands of glowing lanterns were set afloat in
rivers in Hiroshima, Japan, on the 50th anniversary of the
first atomic bombing.
1996 NASA announced the discovery of evidence of
primitive life on Mars. The evidence came in the form of a
meteorite that was found in Antarctica. The meteorite was
believed to have come from Mars and contained a fossil.
1997 Apple Computer and Microsoft agreed to share
technology in a deal giving Microsoft a stake in Apple's
survival.
1998 Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky spent 8
1/2 hours testifying before a grand jury about her
relationship with U.S. President Clinton.
2012 The Mars rover Curiosity landed on the floor of Gale
Crater. The Mars Science Laboratory/Curiosity spacecraft
launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station, FL, on
November 26, 2011.
2018 smiled.
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Sunday, August 5, 2018, 12:07 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, August 5
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Naked burglar helps himself to beer,
food inside stranger's house and does
his own laundry.
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, August 5 in
1981 The U.S. federal government started firing
striking air traffic controllers.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen
and stupidity.
--- Harlan Ellison (1934 - )
If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed,
if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
--- Mark Twain
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The American tourist stood staring at the highland sentry
standing guard outside Edinburgh Castle.
After a few minutes she went up to the sentry and asked
'I've always wanted to find out what's worn under the
kilt'.
The sentry replied: 'There is nothing worn, Ma'am. It's all
in perfect working order.'
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Bethel Bailey, 54,
Arlington,
Tennessee
Naked burglar helps himself to beer,
food inside stranger's house and does
his own laundry.
A Shelby County cyclist broke into a home and started
washing his clothes after his bike tire went flat.
Shelby County Sheriff's Office arrested Bethel Bailey, 54,
and charged him with aggravated burglary for what happened
August 1 in Arlington.
A woman arrived home at around 6 a.m. Wednesday to find a
man standing in her hallway with one of her blankets
wrapped around his naked body.
She immediately called 911.
Deputies arrived and identified Bailey as the man inside
the home.
Bailey told deputies he arrived at the home around 11 p.m.
the night before. He said he was out cycling when his tire
went flat.
He knocked on the front door of the house, but nobody
answered. So he went around to the back of the house and
got inside the home when he learned the back door was
unlocked.
Bailey said he just wanted a ride home. So he decided to
wait for the homeowner to return.
While he waited, he helped himself to a few beers, a ham
sandwich, and some cookies. He then decided to start
washing his clothes.
He said that's why he was naked when the homeowner arrived.
Bailey was arrested and issued a $6,000 bond.
Tech Support Pits
From: Eddie
Re: POST beep decoder
Hi Mr Webby;
Can you please tell me if this card is worth buying?
Eddie
POST PROBE PCI CARD
Dear Eddie
That's just an old-fashioned POST (Power On Self Test) beep
decoder. In the days when components were still repaired,
some people used the beep decoders.
For example, with an IBM 3270, (before the PC), 3 long
beeps signalled keyboard problems, usually a stuck key.
"Hmmm, sounds like you have been eating at your desk
again!"
Turning the keyboard upside down and whacking it on the
desk hard enough that all the rest of the cube dwellers
popped up like gophers, usually fixed THAT problem.
A long and a two short beeps indicated problems with the
CGA video card on early IBM PC's and Canon XT's. Usually
that problem was due to the video card creeping part way
out of it's slot from heating and cooling. That called for
"Percussive Maintenance".
Lift the computer 10 inches and drop it onto the desk.
"There, Ma'am. Should work fine now. Call me when
it does it again."
And so on. In those days, a good troubleshooter had all the
POST code beeps memorized.
Since then, things have gotten a bit simpler. Nowadays you
see the post code numbers on the screen, or get 4 beeps,
if there is a problem with the video card.
If re-seating all the cards and memory doesn't help, and
the "power-good" LED on the motherboard is lit up, you just
start pulling and/or exchanging cards until you got the one
that was causing the problem. If that doesn't help, replace
the motherboard.
If the problem is the power supply, you can tell by the
sound of the power supply fan, or lack thereof.
You can read about the POST beep codes at
http://www.pchell.com/hardware/beepcodes.shtml
however, that beep decoder is more of a nostalgia item
than a modern troubleshooter's tool.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife
suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing
diapers. "I'm busy," he said, "I'll do the next one."
The next time came around and she asked again.
The husband looked puzzled,
"Oh! I didn't mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The customer in the Italian restaurant was so pleased that
he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him
into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef.
"Your veal parmigiana was superb," the customer said. "I
just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I
ever had over there."
"Naturally," the chef said. "Over there, they use domestic
cheese. Ours is imported."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cleaning Glass Doors On Wood Furniture
If you have a nice piece of furniture with glass windows
surrounded by wood, don't spray glass cleaner directly
on the windows. Some of the cleaner is bound to get on
the wood and can damage the finish. Dampen a rag with
glass cleaner and then wipe the window clean with the rag.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Bizarre inventions in history that our ancestors had to use.
|
___________________________________________________
A sailor gets off his ship in New York late one night,
hails a taxi and asks to be taken to 42nd Street. Along
the way, he suddenly realizes that he doesn't have any
money. Well-trained to be resourceful, and familiar with
cabs in New York, of course, he tells the driver, "Stop,"
and he jumps out of the cab.
"I'm just going to run over here to the drugstore to get
some matches," he says. "I dropped a $100 bill somewhere
back here and I can't find it in the dark."
The sailor goes into the drugstore, and as soon as he's
through the door, the taxi speeds off into the night --
just as he thought it would.
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Definition Of Outdoor Barbecuing It's The Only Type Of
Cooking Some Men Will Do:
When A Man Volunteers To Do Such Cooking, The Following
Chain Of Events Is Put Into Motion.
(1) The Woman Goes To The Store.
(2) The Woman Fixes The Salad, Vegetables, And Dessert.
(3) The Woman Prepares The Meat For Cooking, Places It
On A Tray Along With The Necessary Cooking Utensils, And
Takes It To The Man, Who Is Lounging Beside The Grill,
Drinking Beer.
(4) The Man Places The Meat On The Grill.
(5) The Woman Goes Inside To Set The Table And Check
The Vegetables.
(6) The Woman Comes Out To Tell The Man That The Meat
Is Burning.
(7) The Man Takes The Meat Off The Grill And Hands It
To The Woman.
(8) The Woman Prepares The Plates And Brings Them To
The Table.
(9) After Eating, The Woman Clears The Table And Does
The Dishes.
(10) The Man Asks The Woman How She Enjoyed "Her Night
Off."
And, Upon Seeing Her Annoyed Reaction, Concludes That
There's Just No Pleasing Some Women.
____________________________________________________
Today, August 5 in
1833 The Village Of Chicago Was Incorporated. The
Population Was Approximately 250.
1861 The U.S. Federal Government Levied Its First Income
Tax. The Tax Was 3% Of All Incomes Over $800. The Wartime
Measure Was Rescinded In 1872.
1914 The First Electric Traffic Signal Lights Were
Installed In Cleveland, Ohio.
1921 The First Play-By-Play Broadcast Of A Baseball Game
Was Done By Harold Arlin. Kdka Radio In Pittsburgh, Pa
Described The Action Between The Pirates And Philadelphia.
1921 The Cartoon "On The Road To Moscow", By Rollin Kirby,
Was Published In The "New York World". It Was The First
Cartoon To Win A Pulitzer Prize.
1944 Polish Insurgents Liberated A German Labor Camp In
Warsaw. 348 Jewish Prisoners Were Freed.
1953 During The Korean Conflict Prisoners Were Exchanged At
Panmunjom. The Exchange Was Labeled Operation Big Switch.
1963 The Limited Test Ban Treaty Was Signed By The United
States, Britain, And The Soviet Union. The Treaty Banned
Nuclear Tests In Space, Underwater, And In The Atmosphere.
1964 U.S. Aircraft Bombed North Vietnam After North
Vietnamese Boats Attacked U.S. Destroyers In The Gulf Of
Tonkin.
1966 In New York, Groundbreaking For The Construction Of
The Original World Trade Center Began.
1969 The Mariner 7, A U.S. Space Probe, Passed By Mars.
Photographs And Scientific Data Were Sent Back To Earth.
1981 The U.S. Federal Government Started Firing Striking
Air Traffic Controllers.
1986 It Was Revealed That Artist Andrew Wyeth Had Secretly
Created 240 Drawings And Paintings Of His Neighbor. The
Works Of Helga Testorf Had Been Created Over A 15-Year
Period.
1989 In Honduras, Five Central American Presidents Began
Meeting To Discuss The Timetable For The Dismantling Of The
Nicaraguan Contra Bases.
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush Angrily Denounced The
Iraqi Invasion Of Kuwait.
1991 Iraq Admitted To Misleading U.N. Inspectors About
Secret Biological Weapons.
1992 Federal Civil Rights Charges Were Filed Against Four
Los Angeles Police Officers. The Officers Had Been
Acquitted On California State Charges. Two Of The Officers
Were Convicted And Jailed On Violation Of Civil Rights
Charges.
1998 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein Began Not Cooperating
With U.N. Weapons Inspectors.
2002 The U.S. Closed Its Consulate In Karachi, Pakistan.
The Consulate Was Closed After Local Authorities Removed
Large Concrete Blocks And Reopened The Road In Front Of The
Building To Normal Traffic.
2009 Google Purchased Its First Public Company. The Company
Was The Video Software Maker On2 Technologies.
2011 Nasa Announced That Its Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter
Had Captured Photographic Evidence Of Possible Liquid Water
On Mars During Warm Seasons.
2011 Juno Was Launched From Cape Canaveral Air Force
Station On A Mission To Jupiter. It Was The First Solar-
Powered Spacecraft To Go To Jupiter.
2011 Because Of Obama Standard & Poor's Financial Services
Lowered The United States' Aaa Credit Rating By One Notch
To Aa-Plus.
2018 smiled.
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Pictures further into the dark
Saturday, August 4, 2018, 06:54 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, August 4
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Left wing extremist, chases down,
rams car over Trump bumper sticker
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, August 4 in
1914 Britain declared war on Germany the day after Germany
declared war on France, Englan's perennial enemy.
They did not want to be left out.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.
--- W. C. Fields (1880 - 1946)
Lord give me the coffee to change to change the things i
can and wine to accept the things i cant.
--- Mark Rogan
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted
her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting
groom; the bride kissed her father and placed something
in his hand.
The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of
laughter. Even the minister smiled broadly.
As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave
him back his credit card.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Seven Mile Bridge, Florida
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Chloe Wright,
25,
Taunton,
Massachusetts
Left wing extremist, chases down,
rams car over Trump bumper sticker
A Massachusetts man recently told police that earlier this
week he was stopped at a red light when a woman pulled up
behind him and began honking her horn in a belligerent
manner. Then things really got crazy.
He stated the driver then followed him down another road,
still honking the horn and now screaming at him. And if you
think things couldn’t get any nuttier, you’d be oh so
wrong.
They actually got worse. Way worse.
“I could hear her screaming out of the car or something, so
I’m like, ‘Man, maybe something’s wrong with my car,’”
said
the man identified by WBZ-TV only as “Brendan” for his
safety.
Well, apparently there was something wrong with his car —
affixed upon it is a bumper sticker supporting President
Donald Trump with his campaign slogan, “Make American Great
Again.”
Brendan added to the station that “the first thing she said
when I came out of the car was, ‘Did you vote for Trump?’
And I was like, ‘Yeah, what of it?’”
With that, he told WBZ, the driver yelled, “You’re racist!”
along with “a bunch of cuss words” coming at him
“nonstop.”
But that wasn’t the worst of it.
Brendan recorded video of the incident as the driver first
allegedly hit the back of his car then clipped his open
door, missing him by inches, WBZ said.
“Her tire was right next to my foot,” Brendan recalled to
the station. “That could have ended really bad.”
The driver promptly fled the scene when she noticed she was
on video, however the video taken of the incident captured
the vehicle’s license plate number, which was then traced
to Chloe Wright of Taunton.
Wright was arrested by authorities a month later on Monday
and she has plead not guilty to a charge of assault with a
deadly weapon. She will also be facing charges of
vandalizing property and fleeing the scene of property
damage.
The woman was released on $1,250 bail and has been ordered
to stay away from the victim.
Tech Support Pits
From: Almira
Re: Further into the dark
Dear Webby
I need to take pictures of graduates from a course that I
teach. The last ones were a disaster. The flash does not
light up the second and third row, and without a flash, the
overhead lights are too dim and make the faces look
haggard. I remember you occasionally making strong
statements against the use of flash, but I forgot what
alternatives you recommended. Can you please tell me
again?
Thanks
Almira
Dear Almira
Go to Home Depot or a similar construction supplier, and
get yourself one or two 500 W or 1000 W Quartz work lights.
They are in rectangular cast aluminum fixtures just like
yard and security lights, but have a much brighter lamp in
it, and a safety grill in front of the glass.
You can get them with a big alligator clamp to clip them
onto a stepladder, or with a bright yellow tripod. Most
photographers take that tripod out into the back alley and
use a can of black barbecue paint to give it an expensive
and professional look. However, that is a stupid idea. It
just causes people to trip over the tripod legs. There is a
good reason why it is bright yellow.
Position the light a bit to the side of your spot and
closer to the group or podium. Put your camera on a tripod
and make sure that the light is just barely outside your
cone of view.
The older the crowd, the lower down the light should be. A
knee high spotlight hides more wrinkles than a pound of
make-up spackled on, but make sure the light is a bit
to the side and not straight in front of your camera.
Set the camera for 1/30 second or if it is an automatic,
use the symbol of a person with a star above the head.
To take the picture, hold up a manual flash with your left
hand and set it off. Click the camera a second later, when
they just start to relax, but before they let their chests
fall back down into their drawers.
It would be a good idea to take some test pictures
beforehand.
Absolutely REFUSE to take pictures if tehre is a white
background. Pictures will turn out crappy with the faces
all looking haggard. Background should be as black as
possible.
Also tell the people to NOT wear white. Cameras tend to
average brightness, and white dresses cause dark and
haggard faces in group pictures.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A flight attendant was on the red-eye to Manila when a
water leak developed in the galley, which eventually soaked
the carpet throughout the cabin of the 747.
A very sleepy passenger who had become aware of the
dampness asked the attendant, "Has it been raining?"
Keeping a straight face, the attendant replied, "Yes,
but we put the top up."
With a sigh of relief, the passenger went back to sleep.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
I had given our daughter, who was 15 at the time, a drivers
manual. On the way to town one day, I was coaching her as
I drove. I told her to be studying her book so as to be
ready when it came time to get
her driver's permit.
"Oh, she said, "I already know everything in the book."
"You do?" I returned.
"Yep," she said, very smugly.
I thought, "OK, I'll give her a hard one."
So I asked her, "How many feet does it take to stop the car
if you are driving 60 miles an hour and have to slam on
the brakes real hard?"
"One," she replied.
"What?" I asked. "One?!"
She repeated her answer and then because of the confused
look on my face, she added, "One, Mom. You always told me
never to use my left foot on the brakes, only use my right
one."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Air Out the House
With summer here, open up windows when you use caustic
cleaners. Opening up various windows and doors will help
air circulate throughout the house and help freshen
everything.
An even better approach is to avoid these type of fumes by
using cleaners like baking soda and vinegar.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Bizarre inventions in history that our ancestors had to use.
|
___________________________________________________
The whole neighborhood shook from the explosion. As store
owners ran outside to see what happened, they spotted the
pharmacist staggering out of his smoldering building. His
white uniform was scorched black. He walked up to a woman
standing nearby and said, "Lady! Would you please ask your
doctor to write that prescription again. And this time,
PRINT IT!"
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
The judge read the charges, then asked,
"Are you the defendant in this case?"
"No sir, your honor, sir," replied Jethro. "I got me a
lawyer to do the defendin'. I'm the one who done it."
____________________________________________________
Today, August 4 in
1735 Freedom of the press was established with an acquittal
of John Peter Zenger. The writer of the New York Weekly
Journal had been charged with seditious libel by the royal
governor of New York. The jury said that "the truth is not
libelous."
1753 George Washington became a Master Mason.
1790 The Revenue Cutter Service was formed. This U.S. naval
task force was the beginning of the U.S. Coast Guard.
1914 Britain declared war on Germany.
1922 The death of Alexander Graham Bell, two days earlier,
was recognized by AT&T and the Bell Systems by shutting
down all of its switchboards and switching stations. The
shutdown affected 13 million phones.
1944 Nazi police raided a house in Amsterdam and arrested
eight people. Anne Frank, a teenager at the time, was one
of the people arrested. Her diary would be published after
her death.
1954 The uranium rush began in Saskatchewan, Canada.
1956 William Herz became the first person to race a
motorcycle over 200 miles per hour. He was clocked at 210
mph.
1957 Florence Chadwick set a world record by swimming the
English Channel in 6 hours and 7 minutes.
1957 Juan Fangio won his final auto race and captured the
world auto driving championship. It was his fifth
consecutive year to win.
1958 The first potato flake plant was completed in Grand
Forks, ND.
1958 Billboard Magazine introduced its "Hot 100" chart,
which was part popularity and a barometer of the movement
of potential hits. The first number one song was Ricky
Nelson's "Poor Little Fool."
1972 Arthur Bremer was found guilty of shooting George
Wallace, the governor of Alabama. Bremer was sentenced to
63 years in prison.
1984 Upper Volta, an African republic, changed its name to
Burkina Faso.
1987 The Fairness Doctrine was rescinded by the Federal
Communications Commission. The doctrine had required that
radio and TV stations present controversial issues in a
balanced fashion.
1990 The European Community imposed an embargo on oil from
Iraq and Kuwait. This was done to protest the Iraqi
invasion of the oil-rich Kuwait.
1991 The Oceanos, a Greek luxury liner, sank off of South
Africa's southeast coast. All of the 402 passengers and 179
crewmembers survived.
1994 Yugoslavia withdrew its support for Bosnian Serbs. The
border between Yugoslavia and Serb-held Bosnia was sealed.
1997 Teamsters began a 15-day strike against UPS (United
Parcel Service). The strikers eventually won an increase in
full-time positions and defeated a proposed reorganization
of the company's pension plan.
2007 NASA's Phoenix spacecraft was launched on a space
exploration mission of Mars. The Phoenix lander descended
on Mars on May 25, 2008.
2009 North Korean leader Kim Jong-il pardoned two American
journalists, who had been arrested and imprisoned for
illegal entry earlier in the year.
2018 smiled.
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Friday, August 3, 2018, 11:36 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, August 3
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Thank you Allene!
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Pennsylvania babysitters accused of forcing
kids to lay on nails, drink their own urine
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, August 3 in
1914 Germany declared war on France. The next day
World War I began when Britain declared war on Germany.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
All that is human must retrograde if it does not advance.
--- Edward Gibbon (1737 - 1794)
A man can stand anything except a succession of ordinary
days.
--- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832)
"I can't do it" never yet accomplished anything;
"I will try" has performed wonders.
--- George P. Burnham
"I will do it", gets the job done.
--- DearWebby
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of the world-famous
detective, Sherlock Holmes, was not above telling tales
about himself in which he was the laughing-stock.
In one situation, he was waiting at a taxi stand outside
the railway station in Paris. When a taxi pulled up, he
placed his suitcase in the car and took a seat next to it.
"Where can I take you, Mr. Doyle?'' asked the taxi driver.
Doyle was flabbergasted. He asked the driver whether he
knew him by sight. "No, sir, I have never seen you
before."
The puzzled Doyle asked him how he knew he was Conan Doyle.
The driver said, "This morning's paper had a story about
you being on vacation in Marseilles. This is the taxi
stand where people who return from Marseilles always come.
Your skin color tells me you have been on vacation. The
ink spot on your right index finger suggests to me that
you're a writer. Your clothing is very English, and not
French. And so, I deduced that you are Sir Arthur Conan
Doyle."
Doyle remarked, "This is truly amazing. You are a real
life counterpart to my fictional creation, Sherlock
Holmes."
"There is one other thing that gave you away," the driver
said, after pocketing his tip.
"What is that?" questioned Doyle.
The driver said, "Your name is on the front of your
suitcase."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
The Bridge Of Immortals… Huangshan China
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Shyann Hills
Jayako Frye
Towanda,
Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania babysitters accused of forcing
kids to lay on nails, drink their own urine
A Pennsylvania couple was arrested on child abuse charges
for allegedly torturing two kids in their care for nearly a
week.
State police said Shyann Hills and Jayako Frye were
watching a 7-year-old and a 9-year-old for six days. In
that time, troopers said the couple tied the kids up, and
they wouldn’t let the children eat, sleep, or even use the
bathroom.
Troopers took Hills and Frye into custody from their
trailer on Crimson Maple Drive in Rome. They face a slew of
charges, including aggravated assault. The two children
needed to be hospitalized after the abuse they endured.
Neighbors were shocked to hear the news.
“It’s hard to believe, actually. I’ve seen them, and I
can’t believe it happened, actually,” Tammy Vanderpol told
WNEP.
State police said the couple forced the young kids to lie
down in a planking position with sharp nails underneath
them, so if the kids went down, they would fall onto the
nails.
Troopers said Hills and Frye also tied the kids to a dog
cage and a cabinet. The couple also forced other children
to hit the victims while they were restrained.
“They should get the same treatment if not worse. That’s
just nasty,” Vanderpol said.
Hills and Frye are both locked up in the Bradford County
jail, Hills on a $500,000 bail and Frye on $750,000.
Tech Support Pits
From: Fred
Re: Making a picture larger
Dear Webby,
I have a digital picture that measures 548 x411 pixels but
the company requires a minimum of 700 x 500. Would you
please advise me how to increase the pixel size.
Thank you,
Fred
Dear Fred
Any graphics program will do that, even Windows Paint,
though that is really scraping the bottom of the barrel.
First increase the color depth to 16 Million.
Then soften the contrast just slightly, about 2 - 3 %.
Next, increase the picture size to what you need.
And finally, sharpen the contrast 6 - 10%.
If picture quality is not that important, you can skip
the softening and sharpening.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Kati for bringing back this classic:
He had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and
then was afraid to come down. The Pastor coaxed, offered
warm milk, etc.
The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy
enough to climb, so the Pastor decided that if he tied a
rope to his car and pulled it until the tree bent down, he
could then reach up and get the kitten.
That's what he did, all the while checking his progress in
the car. He then figured if he went just a little bit
further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to
reach the kitten. But as he moved the car a little further
forward, the rope broke.
The tree went "boing!" and the kitten instantly sailed
through the air - out of sight.
The Pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the
neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten.
No. Nobody had seen a stray kitten So he prayed,
"Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping," and went
on about his business.
A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one
of his church members. He happened to look into her s
hopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. This woman
was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her,
"Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?"
She replied, "You won't believe this," and then told him
how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she
kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged
again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, "Well, if
God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it."
She told the Pastor, "I watched my child go out in the
yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really,
Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own
eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky,
with its paws outspread, and landed right in her lap.
She has not let off holding and petting and smooching the
kitten."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Two elderly ladies met at the launderette after not seeing
one another for some time. After inquiring about each
other's health, one asked how the other's husband was
doing.
"Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig
up a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped
down dead right there in the middle of the vegetable
patch!"
"Oh dear! I'm very sorry." replied her friend "What did you
do?"
"Opened a can of peas instead."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Shop Around For Checks
Don't assume that your bank has the best price on checks.
You can often find checks for as much as half the cost from
other check suppliers. Just carefully check your bank
numbers and personal information as you would with any box
of checks.
I use ASAP-Cheques.com
They are not only much faster than the bank, but cost only
about a quarter of what the bank charges.
I also get the deposit books from them.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
31 unusual places in North America people can actually visit.
|
___________________________________________________
"Now this is the verbal part of your employment test," said
the interviewer. "Can you tell me what gross aggrandized
annuity means?"
"Certainly," replied the applicant. "It means I didn't pad
my bra enough to get the job."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Mr. Doggins was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep
his chickens fenced in. The birds were ruining his prize
winning flower beds.
The neighbor told Doggins that the chickens had the right
to go where they wanted.
Two weeks later, a friend visited Doggins and noticed his
flower beds were doing great. The flowers were even
beginning to bloom! The friend asked, "How did you get
your neighbor to keep his hens in his own yard?"
Doggins said, "Easy! One night I hid a dozen eggs under a
bush by my flower bed. The next day I let my neighbor see
me gather them.
I haven't been bothered by his stupid chickens since."
____________________________________________________
Today, August 3 in
1492 Christopher Columbus left Palos, Spain with three
ships. The voyage led him to what is now known as the
Americas. He reached the Bahamas on October 12.
1750 Christopher Dock completed the first book of teaching
methods. It was titled "A Simple and Thoroughly Prepared
School Management."
1777 During the Siege of Fort Stanwix the first U.S. flag
was officially flown during battle.
1880 The American Canoe Association was formed at Lake
George, NY.
1900 Firestone Tire & Rubber Co. was founded.
1914 Germany declared war on France. The next day World War
I began when Britain declared war on Germany.
1933 The Mickey Mouse Watch was introduced for the price of
$2.75.
1936 The U.S. State Department advised Americans to leave
Spain due to the Spanish Civil War.
1936 Jesse Owens won the first of his four Olympic gold
medals.
1943 Gen. George S. Patton verbally abused and slapped a
private. Later, Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower ordered him to
apologize for the incident.
1956 Bedloe's Island had its name changed to Liberty
Island.
1981 U.S. traffic controllers with PATCO, the Professional
Air Traffic Controllers Organization, went on strike. They
were fired just as U.S. President Reagan had warned.
1985 Mail service returned to a nudist colony in Paradise
Lake, FL. Residents promised that they'd wear clothes or
stay out of sight when the mailperson came to deliver.
1988 The Iran-Contra hearings ended. No ties were made
between U.S. President Reagan and the Nicaraguan Rebels.
1988 The Soviet Union released Mathias Rust. He had been
taken into custody on May 28, 1987 for landing a plane in
Moscow's Red Square.
1990 Thousands of Iraqi troops pushed within a few miles of
the border of Saudi Arabia. This heightened world concerns
that the invasion of Kuwait could spread.
1992 The U.S. Senate voted to restrict and eventually end
the testing of nuclear weapons.
1992 Russia and Ukraine agreed to put the Black Sea Fleet
under joint command. The agreement was to last for three
years.
1995 Eyad Ismoil was flown from Jordan to the U.S. to face
charges that he had driven the van that blew up in New
York's World Trade Center.
2004 In New York, the Statue of Liberty re-opened to the
public. The site had been closed since the terrorist
attacks on the U.S. on September 11, 2001.
2004 NASA launched the spacecraft Messenger. The 6 1/2 year
journey was planned to arrive at the planet Mercury in
March 2011. On April 30, 2015, Messenger crashed into the
surface of Mercury after sending back more than 270,000
pictures.
2009 Bolivia became the first South American country to
declare the right of indigenous people to govern
themselves.
2018 smiled.
|
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When computers are too old to fix
Thursday, August 2, 2018, 09:52 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, August 2
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Jacksonville woman arrested
for multiple armed robberies
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, August 2 in
1939 Albert Einstein signed a letter to President Roosevelt
urging the U.S. to have an atomic weapons research
program.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
If everything seems under control, you're not going fast
enough
--- Mario Andretti (1940 - )
How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood
up to live.
--- Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
One day, farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for
his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a
bucket and an anvil, then stopped by the livestock dealer
to buy a couple of chickens and a goose.
Now he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases
home. The livestock dealer said, "Why don't you put the
anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a
chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other
hand?"
"Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went.
While walking he met a fair young lady.
She told him she was lost, and asked, "Can you tell me how
to get to 1515 Mockingbird Lane?"
The farmer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I'm going to
visit my brother at 1616 Mockingbird Lane. Let's take a
short cut and go down this alley. We'll save half the time
to get there".
The fair young lady said, "How do I know that when we get
in to the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull
down my skirt and ravish me?"
The farmer said, "I am carrying a bucket, an anvil, 2
chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly
hold you up against the wall and do that?"
The young lady said, "Set the goose down, put the bucket
over the goose, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and
I'll hold the chickens."
"Sounds good!"
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Monica Hutchinson, 38,
Jacksonville,
Florida
Jacksonville woman arrested
for multiple armed robberies
Monica Hutchinson, 38, of Jacksonville, was arrested Friday
as a suspect in an armed gas station robbery, according to
the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office.
On July 22, police responded to a Circle K on Normandy
Blvd. in reference to an armed robbery.
Related Headlines
Cases of hand, foot, and mouth disease on the rise, local
doctor says
Ex-husband of murder suspect knew she was using alias
New law forces some Florida gun owners to surrender weapons
According to a police report released by JSO, Hutchinson
walked into the gas station and pointed a gun at the
cashier, waving it around several times.
The report says the cashier gave Hutchinson about $50 to
$70 cash and that she set the gun on the counter when
receiving the money.
The manager of the business gave police surveillance video
showing Hutchinson getting out of the passenger side of a
gray Kia and later getting back into the vehicle.
Witnesses described the robber as a white female, about 5
feet 6 inches tall, 110 pounds, with dark brown hair,
wearing a hat and sunglasses, appearing to be in her mid-
40's and wearing a blue jacket and black legging pants with
holes in them. The man stated it looked like she
"previously had acne on her face and was a drug addict."
The report says the vehicle appeared to have damage on the
front of the hood and right fender.
On Sunday, July 27, an officer patrolling the area of
Cahoon Rd. and W Ramona Blvd. saw a vehicle matching that
description, the report says.
The officer said the damage to the hood and right fender
was very distinguishable, and recognized the vehicle from
the multiple robberies.
The officer notified other units and conducted a traffic
stop. According to the report, all occupants were detained.
The report says it should be noted that Hutchinson was
detained wearing the same black leggings worn in the Circle
K robbery, as seen on surveillance, and that they had a
very distinctive design.
Hutchinson was arrested and charged for the armed robbery
at the Circle K, and the other two people from the vehicle
were arrested on local charges, the report says.
Tech Support Pits
From: Scott
Re: Too Old Computers
Dear Webby
Our club gets, among other things, old computers donated to
us, so that we can try to convert them into cash for
charitable purposes. However, quite a few are so old, that
we can't do anything with them and just wind up paying
disposal fees.
Do you have any ideas?
Thanks
Scott
Dear Scott
Hold a Computer Smashathon. Provide safety goggles and a
sledge hammer and charge a dollar per hit. You'll be
surprised how much money you will raise!
When they are all smashed to bits, glue them together into
a big abstract sculpture, take good pictures of it and sell
it on eBay.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
>From Stormy
Take the batteries out of that blasted smoke alarm,"
Ethel snapped at her husband. "It bleeps no matter what
I'm cooking." Her husband argued, "I don't think that's
a good idea." One look at his cranky wife however, and
he dismantled it. She grumbled, I wish you could dismantle
the blasted parrot."
The parrot that had a huge repertoire of sounds. He drove
Ethel to distraction daily, imitating sounds like the
phone ringing, barking dogs, crying kids, doors slamming.
It sang TV commercials, almost any sound, if the bird
heard it enough, it would imitate. He loved to say, "Ethel"
over and over.
Ethel slid the turkey into the oven. She was in a hurry,
had more shopping to do as company was coming. As she went
out the door, the bird called, "Goodbye Ethel." She yelled
back, "Just shut up." The parrot sang over and over,
"Shut up, Shut up, Shut up," until he tired.
Dealing with a bad mood, had made Ethel careless. She
had turned the oven temperature too high. It wasn't long
before smoke curled around the stove.
Neighbours heard the smoke detector. Knowing no one
was home, they dialled 911.The fire dept. arrived, turned
off the oven, then tossed the blackened turkey out the
door.
They looked for a smoke alarm, but it wasn't there. The
parrot was sitting on the table watching. Everyone jumped
when he lit into an ear piercing siren of a smoke alarm.
Ethel was visibly shaken finding the firefighters in her
home. Her parrot was preening from all the attention he
was getting.
She turned white when the neighbours told her what had
happened.
She held the parrot, "I guess you better stay after all."
The bird responded, "Shut up Ethel, Just, Shut up!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Bob and his three golf buddies were out playing and were
just starting on the back nine when Bob paused, looked down
the fairway, and began to sob uncontrollably.
The other three gathered around him and asked, "What's
wrong?"
Bob looked down at his feet, sniffed, and dried his eyes
some, then apologized for his emotional outburst. "I'm
sorry, I always get emotional at this hole -- it holds very
difficult memories for me."
One of his buddies asked, "What happened? What could have
gotten you so upset?"
Bob stared silently off in the distance, then said in a low
voice, "This is where my wife and I were playing 12 years
ago when she suddenly died of a heart attack -- right at
this very hole!"
"Oh no!" the other golfers said. "That must have been
horrible!"
"Horrible? You think it's horrible! ?" Bob cried in
disbelief. "It was worse than that! Every ho le for the
rest of the day, all the way back to the clubhouse it
was... hit the ball, drag Alice, hit the ball, drag
Alice..."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Baby Food Jars For Small Items
Baby food jars are great for storing small nails, screws
and other items so that they are easy to see. You can
attach the metal lids to the underside of a shelf, the jars
can then hang from the shelf and be seen easily.
When I was living in a hastily built cabin in the Yukon
while building a new house, after the other one had burned
down, I used a similar system. I trimmed a small log to
took like a 6-sided banister post, and suspended it between
two "L" brackets with a big screw in each end. Each of the
six sides held a different group of items, and I could just
turn it to whichever side I needed.
It was like a horizontal "Lazy Susan".
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
| 31 unusual places in North America people can actually visit.
|
___________________________________________________
>From Ginny
My boss is without peer when it comes to the rules and
regulations that customs officials must follow. But when
it comes to the law, well, that's a different story.
We were attending a court case in which we were prosecuting
a smuggler. The judge asked the court, "Who is making these
allegations?"
My boss stood up and proclaimed, "I am the alligator, your
honor."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Mrs. Jones was reading a letter at breakfast. Suddenly
she looked up suspiciously at her husband.
"Henry," she said, "I've just received a letter from mother
saying she isn't accepting our invitation to come and stay,
as we do not appear to want her. What does she mean by
that? I told you to write and say that she was to come at
her own convenience. You did write, didn't you?"
"Er, yes, I did," said the husband. "But I couldn't spell
convenience, so I made it risk."
____________________________________________________
Today, August 2 in
1776 Members of the Continental Congress began adding their
signatures to the Declaration of Independence.
1791 Samuel Briggs and his son Samuel Briggs, Jr. received
a joint patent for their nail-making machine. They were the
first father-son pair to receive a patent.
1858 In Boston and New York City the first mailboxes were
installed along streets.
1887 Rowell Hodge patented barbed wire.
1892 Charles A. Wheeler patented the first escalator.
1926 John Barrymore and Mary Astor starred in the first
showing of the Vitaphone System. The system was the
combining of picture and sound for movies.
1938 Bright yellow baseballs were used in a major league
baseball game between the Brooklyn Dodgers and the St.
Louis Cardinals. It was hoped that the balls would be
easier to see.
1939 Albert Einstein signed a letter to President Roosevelt
urging the U.S. to have an atomic weapons research program.
1939 U.S. President Roosevelt signed the Hatch Act. The act
prohibited civil service employees from taking an active
part in political campaigns.
1945 The Allied conference at Potsdam was concluded.
1964 The Pentagon reported the first of two North
Vietnamese attacks on U.S. destroyers in the Gulf of
Tonkin.
1983 U.S. House of Representatives approved a law that
designated the third Monday of January would be a federal
holiday in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The law was
signed by President Reagen on November 2.
1987 "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" was re-released. The
film was 50 years old at the time of its re-release.
1990 Iraq invaded the oil-rich country of Kuwait. Iraq
claimed that Kuwait had driven down oil prices by exceeding
production quotas set by OPEC.
1995 China ordered the expulsion of two U.S. Air Force
officers. The two were said to have been caught spying on
military sites.
2018 smiled.
|
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Remove without prior subscription
Wednesday, August 1, 2018, 08:23 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, August 1
Thank you Don!
Thank you James!!
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Unlicensed Florida teen leads police
on chase, crashes after hitting a pothole
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, August 1 in
1774 Oxygen was isolated from air successfully by
chemist Carl Wilhelm and scientist Joseph Priestly.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
The dead might as well try to speak to the living as
the old to the young.
--- Willa Cather (1873 - 1947)
The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him.
--- Henry Stimson (1867 - 1950)
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do all the
things that he used to do. When the examination was
complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in
plain English what is wrong with me."
"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "you're just
a lazy old fart."
"Okay," said the man. "Now give me the medical term so
I can tell my wife."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Lighthouse is safe
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Timothy Magruder, 18,
Jacksonville,
Florida
Unlicensed Florida teen leads police
on chase, crashes after hitting a pothole
An 18-year-old man led the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office on
a chase that ended when he fled and hid on top of a metal
shed, police said in a report.
Timothy Magruder, 18, is facing multiple charges after the
July 17 incident.
JSO said Magruder was spotted driving at a high rate of
speed in a 1995 Lincoln Town Car on Rayford Street.
Magruder nearly crashed the big sedan while trying to turn
onto Day Ave., JSO said.
During a police chase, Magruder kept driving faster, JSO
said, until he finally hit a pothole and crashed into a
tree.
Magruder ran, JSO said, and briefly got away by hiding on
top of a metal shed. With the aid of a police K-9, Magruder
was quickly located and arrested.
The suspect told JSO that he believed he broke his leg when
he crashed the car. He also had cuts on his hands from the
metal shed and was noticeably bleeding, the report said.
Magruder had crack cocaine on him, the report said. He was
charged with drug possession, reckless driving and
resisting arrest.
Magruder, who had two other teenagers with him in the car
that crashed, has never been issued a valid Florida
driver's license, the report said.
The report did not specify where the car had been stolen.
Tech Support Pits
From: Jack
Re: REMOVE!!!
Take me off your mail list!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I get one more email from you I WILL turn you in to the
FCC.
Jack Quirk
jack@kjprod..........
Hi Jack
Go right ahead and make the FCC laugh about you.
You can also try the FTC, and for good measure FTD.
You don't have an account with us,
so I can't remove you from anything.
However, I would recommend that you get somebody to
'splain to you what a spoof is, and how to recognize a
spoof.
Then you can stop barking at the wrong tree, just to amuse
me.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Patient: Doctor, I have a problem. I feel unhealthy and
depressed.
Doctor: You should cut down on drinks.
Patient: I don't touch a drop.
Doctor: You should cut down on smoking.
Patient: I don't smoke.
Doctor: You should stop taking drugs.
Patient: I don't do drugs.
Doctor: You should cut down on womanizing.
Patient: Haven't touched a woman in my life.
Doctor: In that case, get yourself a drink, learn to smoke,
and find a couple of girlfriends.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
At a dinner party, the speaker who was the guest of honor,
was about to deliver his speech when his wife sitting at
the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with
the word "KISS" scribbled on it.
A guest seated next to the speaker said, "Your wife has
sent you a KISS before you begin your speech. She must love
you very much."
The speaker replied, "You don't know my wife. The letters
stand for "Keep it short, Stupid."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Remove Hard Water Deposits From Faucets
Cleaning a Toaster
First unplug the toaster. Open the crumb catch tray, making
sure you open it over a garbage can or outside to avoid
getting crumbs everywhere. To get it super clean, you can
use some compressed air like you use for cleaning inside
of electronic device. Never clean the inside with water.
Do NOT use canned compressed air! Don't even allow
it anywhere near your home! Kids inhale it to get stoned,
and hundreds a year die from that.
If you think you need to shoot petrified bread crumbs into
your eyes and down your cleavage, use a tire pump or
electric air compressor.
However, unless you have weird fetishes like putting runny
jam onto your toast before putting it into the toaster,
it's enough to turn it upside down over your bird feeder or
sidewalk, and slapping it a few times.
If the neighbors are watching, tell them that your toaster
is haunted and has been misbehaving.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
The oldest Native American to have ever lived.
|
___________________________________________________
A father, who worked away from home all week, always made a
special effort with his family at the weekends. Every
Sunday morning he would take his 7 year old daughter out
for a drive in the car.
One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold that he
really didn't feel like driving at all. Luckily, his wife
came to the rescue and decided that for this Sunday she
would take their daughter out. They returned just before
lunch and the little girl ran upstairs to see her father.
"Well" the father asked, "did you enjoy your ride with
mommy?"
"Oh yes Daddy" the girl replied, "and do you know what...
....we didn't see a single bastard or moron!"
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
"My ancestry goes all the way back to Alexander the Great,"
said one lady. She then turned to a second woman and
asked,
"How far does your family go back?"
"I don't know," was the reply. "All of our records were
lost in The Flood."
____________________________________________________
Today, August 1 in
1498 Christopher Columbus landed on "Isla Santa"
(Venezuela).
1774 Oxygen was isolated from air successfully by chemist
Carl Wilhelm and scientist Joseph Priestly.
1790 The first U.S. census was completed with a total
population of 3,929,214 recorded.
1834 Slavery was outlawed in the British empire with an
emancipation bill.
1873 Andrew S. Hallidie successfully tested a cable car.
The design was done for San Francisco, CA.
1893 Shredded wheat was patented by Henry Perky and William
Ford.
1894 The first Sino-Japanese War erupted. The dispute was
over control of Korea.
1907 The U.S. Army established an aeronautical division
that later became the U.S. Air Force.
1914 Germany declared war on Russia at the beginning of
World War I.
1936 Adolf Hitler presided over the Olympic games as they
opened in Berlin.
1943 In the Solomon Islands, the U.S. Navy patrol torpedo
boat PT-109 sank after being hit by the Japanese destroyer
Amagiri. The boat was under the command of Lt. John F.
Kennedy. Eleven of the thirteen crew survived.
1944 In Warsaw, Poland, an uprising against Nazi occupation
began. The revolt continued until October 2 when Polish
forces surrendered.
1946 In the U.S., the Atomic Energy Commission was
established.
1953 The first aluminum-faced building was completed. It
was the first of this type in America.
1956 The Social Security Act was amended to provide
benefits to disabled workers aged 50-64 and disabled adult
children.
1957 The North American Air Defense Command (NORAD) was
created by the United States and Canada.
1995 Westinghouse Electric Corporation announced a deal to
buy CBS for $5.4 billion.
1998 The U.S. books and music chain Borders opens its first
European outlet with a 40,000-square-foot store on London's
Oxford Street.
2006 Cuban leader Fidel Castro turned over absolute power
when he gave his brother Raul authority while he underwent
an intestinal surgery.
2018 smiled.
|
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Tuesday, July 31, 2018, 09:46 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, July 31
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Ex-superintendent proven to have repeatedly shit on HS
track plans to sue cops over mug shot
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 31 in
1980 China's population reached 1 billion.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Television – a medium. So called because it is neither
rare nor well done.
--- Ernie Kovacs
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to
appreciate it.
--- Franklin P. Jones
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love
you;
But if you really make them think, they'll hate you.
--- Don Marquis
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The month of July this year will have 5 Sundays, 5 Mondays
and 5 Tuesdays. Check your calendar.
This happens once every 823 years.
The Chinese call it "pocket full of money" and suggest you
send this message to all your friends and within 4 days,
the money will surprise you.
Based in Feng Shui, those who do not forward this message
can lose a great opportunity.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Thomas Tramaglini,
42,
Holmdel,
New Jersey
Ex-superintendent proven to have repeatedly
crapped on HS track plans to sue cops over
mug shot.
The now former Kenilworth schools superintendent accused of
repeatedly pooping at a high school track near his home has
notified Holmdel police he plans to file a lawsuit over the
mug shot taken after his arrest, according legal documents
filed by his attorney.
Thomas Tramaglini claims Holmdel police should not have
photographed him at police headquarters because the public
defecation, lewdness and litter charges, which remain
pending, were low-level municipal offenses.
"It’s like getting photographed and fingerprinted for a
speeding ticket," his attorney Matthew Adams said in an
email to NJ Advance Media.
"On May 1, 2018, officers or agents of the Holmdel Police
Department unlawfully took Dr. Tramaglini's photograph and
distributed and disseminated the 'mug shot' to third
parties, including the media with the intent to harm Dr.
Tramaglini," according the court filing.
The filing, known as a tort claim notice, by Tramgalini is
a required legal step in advance of a full lawsuit. It
lists potential damages of more than $1 million due to loss
of income, harm to his reputation, emotional distress and
invasion of privacy.
“It is our position that the photograph that has been
widely disseminated was unlawfully taken and maliciously
distributed,” Adams said in a phone interview Friday.
The Kenilworth board of education announced Thursday that
it had accepted Tramaglini's resignation from his
superintendent job, which paid $147,500 annually plus a
potential bonus. He also made $5,700 per semester as a
part-time lecturer at Rutgers University, according to his
legal filing.
Tramaglini, 42, of Aberdeen, was arrested at 5:50 a.m. on
May 1 at the Holmdel High School track.
The Kenilworth board of education announced Thursday that
it had accepted Tramaglini's resignation from his
superintendent job, which paid $147,500 annually plus a
potential bonus. He also made $5,700 per semester as a
part-time lecturer at Rutgers University, according to his
legal filing.
Tramaglini, 42, of Aberdeen, was arrested at 5:50 a.m. on
May 1 at the Holmdel High School track.
Police began monitoring the track, which is about three
miles from Tramaglini's townhouse, after receiving reports
of human feces being found daily, authorities said.
Officials were soon able to identify Tramaglini as the
person responsible for defecating on the track, according
to Holmdel police. According to the arrest report, there
are two DVDs with surveillance video footage.
Tramaglini made a first appearance in court June 12 and has
since pleaded not guilty. He is due back in Holmdel
municipal court at 11 a.m. on Aug. 13.
Tramaglini had been on paid leave from his superintendent
job since his arrest.
The Kenilworth board of education accepted Tramaglini's
resignation on Thursday. An email and voicemail sent by the
board of education to staff that evening said his
resignation is effective Sept. 30. He was hired in February
2016.
Tech Support Pits
From: Jim
Re: Finddirections.co
Dear Webby
A good morning to you. Another question.
When I open my Firefox, I get this popup. Is this
something to be concerned with? Should I do anything to
"fix" it or just ignore it as I have done for a few days.
Many thanks for your reply and many thanks for your great
newsletters.
Jim
Dear Jim
finddirections.co is phony.
FRAUD!
It is a domain, that is apparently taken over by scammers.
That is quite common with domains, that are no longer in
use.
Not surprising that Malwarebytes blocks it.
Check the extensions or whatever they are called in
FireFox, and see if you still have an extension calling for
that domain. It USED to be a map and direction finding
program, that is no longer in use.
There has been a big shake-up with those programs, and most
of them I don't trust. Usually I use Google Earth, straight
from Google Earth, without allowing any parasites, that try
to sneak in,
or mapquest.
Those two are still good.
The pictures of the day for the last two days were from
Google Earth.
By the way, ONE lady wrote that she spotted the woman in
the badlands first, before the guy.
Congratulations, Barbara!
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
One of the airlines recently introduced a special
half-fare rate for business women to take their hubands
along on business trips.
Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity
department of the airline sent out letters to all the
husbands of business women who used the special rates,
asking how they enjoyed their trip.
Responses are still pouring in asking, "What trip???"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Greg and Ron were in a lodge, making small talk. Greg
asked Ron, "So, what do you hunt?"
Ron answered, "I hunt unicorns."
Greg was startled, but said, "Really? How
do you do that?"
Ron answered "I find a virgin and hire her to help me.
The virgin sits around in the woods until a unicorn
comes to her. When it does, it sets off a snare."
Greg said "Boy, they must be hard to find. I've
heard of them, but I've never seen one."
Ron replied "Yeah, and there aren't many unicorns
around, either!"
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Remove Hard Water Deposits From Faucets
To remove vinegar deposits that accumulate on faucets from
hard water, fill a bag with vinegar and tie the bag to the
faucet. Allow the faucet to soak in the vinegar for a
couple of hours. When you remove the bag, the deposits
should be gone.
Repeat if necessary.
The ends of cucumbers work quite well too. I have afaucet
that leaks a tiny bit where it swivels, and produces a
white calcium stain from our very hard water. Putting an
end of a cucumber on that stain makes it disappear
overneight.
For tap stems and fixtures you can rip an old t-shirt into
strips and wrap them tightly around the fixtures, then soak
them with vinegar. After an hour you can undo the strips
and use them to polish off what mineralization remains.
Plain white vinegar works just fine.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
The most amazing archival treasures digitized in 2017
|
___________________________________________________
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,
"I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter."
Her mother told her this was wrong,
she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown."
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and
said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?"
She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play
with the boys?"
Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys,
they're too rough."
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and
asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
____________________________________________________
Today, July 31 in
1498 Christopher Columbus, on his third voyage to the
Western Hemisphere, arrived at the island of Trinidad.
1790 The first U.S. patent was issued to Samuel Hopkins for
his process for making potash and pearl ashes. The
substance was used in fertilizer.
1792 The cornerstone of the U.S. Mint in Philadelphia, PA,
was laid. It was the first building to be used only as a
U.S. government building.
1919 Germany's Weimar Constitution was adopted.
1928 MGM’s Leo the lion roared for the first time. He
introduced MGM’s first talking picture, "White Shadows on
the South Seas."
1932 Enzo Ferrari retired from racing. In 1950 he launched
a series of cars under his name.
1945 Pierre Laval of France surrendered to Americans in
Austria.
1955 Marilyn Bell of Toronto, Canada, at age 17, became the
youngest person to swim the English Channel.
1959 The Euskadi Ta Askatasuna (ETA) was founded. The group
is known for being an armed Basque nationalist and
separatist organization.
1964 The American space probe Ranger 7 transmitted pictures
of the moon's surface.
1971 Men rode in a vehicle on the moon for the first time
in a lunar rover vehicle (LRV).
1980 China's population reached 1 billion.
1982 Yugoslavia imposed a six-month freeze on prices.
1989 A pro-Iranian group in Lebanon released a videotape
reportedly showing the hanged body of American hostage
William R. Higgins.
1989 The Game Boy handheld video game device was released
in the U.S.
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush and Soviet President
Mikhail Gorbachev signed the Strategic Arms Reduction
Treaty.
1995 The Walt Disney Company agreed to acquire Capital
Cities/ABC in a $19 billion deal.
1999 The spacecraft Lunar Prospect crashed into the moon.
It was a mission to detect frozen water on the moon's
surface. The craft had been launched on January 6, 1998.
2007 The iTunes Music Store reached 2 million feature
length films sold.
2018 smiled.
|
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Transparent icon text background
Monday, July 30, 2018, 08:36 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, July 30
Did ANYBODY find the big guy and his wife in yesterday's picture?
Fire fighters curled up on the ground in the back yard of
the house they just saved the night before, resting up for
the next shift in their battle with the #CarrFire.
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Naked guy nabbed for exercises
in Mcdonald's women's bathroom
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 30 in
1945 The USS Indianapolis was torpedoed by a Japanese
submarine. The ship had just delivered key components of
the Hiroshima atomic bomb to the Pacific island of Tinian.
Only 316 out of 1,196 men aboard survived the attack.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
--- Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love
you;
But if you really make them think, they'll hate you.
--- Don Marquis
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A magazine reporter is traveling through a rainforest in
search of a fabled cannibalistic tribe.
He wanders through the thick jungle for days upon days, and
it seems like his journey's going to amount to nothing.
As he ventures deeper into it, his attention is drawn to
something hanging overhead in the canopy and decides to
take a closer look.
Suddenly, he falls into a trap, is knocked unconscious and
wakes up tied to a stake with a fire burning slowly
underneath him.
He cries out for help, and is answered by what is obviously
one of the tribesmen, who informs him that he is going to
be served as dinner to the leader of the tribe.
"But you don't understand!" he cries, "You can't do this to
me! I'm an editor for the New Yorker magazine!"
"Ah," replies the tribesman, "Well soon you will be editor-
in-chief!"
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Grand Prismatic Spring
44.525049, -110.83819
Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming, USA
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Brody Young,
25,
Nashville,
Tennessee
Naked guy nabbed for exercises
in Mcdonald's women's bathroom
A naked man who police found doing jumping jacks in the
women’s bathroom of a McDonald’s in Tennessee was arrested
Monday on public indecency, trespass, and public
intoxication charges.
Police were summoned to a McDonald’s in Nashville due to a
“male subject who was locked in the womens restroom naked,”
according to a court affidavit. Restaurant management
reported that the man had “been there all day.”
A patrolman reported encountering Brody Young, 25, in the
bathroom. Young, the cop added, “was indeed naked.”
Young, seen at right, was “erratic and doing jumping jacks
and hitting the wall,” reported the cop, who noted a strong
chemical odor in the bathroom, evidence that the
intoxicated Young had likely been huffing.
Deemed a “danger to himself and others,” Young was taken
into custody and charged with several misdemeanors. “Mr.
Young has priors for huffing,” the affidavit states.
During a court appearance this morning, Young pleaded
guilty to criminal trespass and was fined $329. Prosecutors
dropped indecency and public intoxication counts.
Young, who is barred from entering the McDonald’s (seen
below), remains locked up in the county jail due to an
outstanding warrant.
Tech Support Pits
From: Jai
Re: Icon text Boxes
Dear Webby
I just added a new desktop photo, and it looks awful with
all those black boxes all over the screen. Blah!
Alas, I am so bad, I cannot find it in Tweak IU. There is
no setting there, I went thru every tiny part of it and could
not find it. Would it be possible for you to give me more
information as to "how to"? I sure would appreciate it.
I really want the transparent backgrounds!!!
Thanks my friend,
Jai
Dear Jai
couldn't remember how to do it, so I looked it up.
Seems I last wrote about it in May 2005:
The icon text background
transparency has absolutely nothing to do with system
performance, but that's where the toggle for it is.
1. Open the Control Panel
2. Click System
3. Click the Advanced tab
4. Click Settings in the Performance section
5. Select Custom
6. Check the "Use drop shadows for icon labels on the
desktop" checkbox
7. Click OK until you close the windows
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Bob moved into an apartment and went shopping for cleaning
equipment. His cart was loaded with a broom, mop, dust-pan,
sponges and a full array of cleaning products.
At the last minute he topped off his cart with a lone food purchase
-- a large bag of potato chips.
Seeing the checkout clerk's quizzical look, he explained,
"I'm a very messy eater."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Nine year old Little Johnny, was asked by his mother what
he had learned in Sunday school.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind
enemy lines on a rescue mission, to lead the Israelites out
of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers
build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across
safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio
headquarters for reinforcements.
They sent bombers to blow up the bridge so that the cops
could not follow them, and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Johnny, is that really what your teacher taught you?"
his mother asked, scornfully.
"Well, no, Mom. But if I told it the way the teacher did,
you'd never believe it."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
No More Soggy Sandwiches
Instead of making the sandwich before you leave, pack the
sandwich ingredients separately. Put the bread, meat and
cheese in one bag or container and the veggies in another.
Use small reusable condiment containers to bring your
favorite condiments.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
The great stone walls of Avila.
|
___________________________________________________
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class:
"In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive.
In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double
negative is still a negative.
However," he continued, "there is no language wherein a
double positive can form a negative."
A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah. Right."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
>From Lilly
When my husband was a student at Tennessee Temple
University, I often asked him to do errands after class,
tying ribbons on his fingers to remind him. A good sport,
he didn't protest, even though his classmates obviously
noticed my little reminders.
One day he had to have a mole removed from above his ear
and emerged from the doctor's office with his head wrapped
in a white bandage. When he walked into class, everyone
just stared.
Finally one student blurted out, "Whatever your wife wants
you to remember today, it must be REALLY important."
____________________________________________________
Today, July 30 in
1502 Christopher Columbus landed at Guanaja in the Bay
Islands off the coast of Honduras during his fourth voyage.
1729 The city of Baltimore was founded in Maryland.
1898 "Scientific America" carried the first magazine
automobile ad. The ad was for the Winton Motor Car Company
of Cleveland, OH.
1942 The WAVES were created by legislation signed by U.S.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The members of the Women's
Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service were a part of the
U.S. Navy.
1945 The USS Indianapolis was torpedoed by a Japanese
submarine. The ship had just delivered key components of
the Hiroshima atomic bomb to the Pacific island of Tinian.
Only 316 out of 1,196 men aboard survived the attack.
1956 The phrase "In God We Trust" was adopted as the U.S.
national motto.
1965 U.S. President Johnson signed into law Social Security
Act that established Medicare and Medicaid. It went into
effect the following year.
1987 Indian troops arrived in Jaffna, Sri Lanka, to disarm
the Tamil Tigers and enforce a peace pact.
1990 In Spring Hill, TN, the first Saturn automobile rolled
off the assembly line.
1991 In China, construction began on the Oriental Pearl
Radio & TV Tower.
1998 A group of Ohio machine-shop workers (who call
themselves the Lucky 13) won the $295.7 million Powerball
jackpot. It was the largest-ever American lottery.
2001 Lance Armstrong became the first American to win three
consecutive Tours de France.
2003 In Mexico, the last 'old style' Volkswagen Beetle
rolled off an assembly line.
2018 smiled.
|
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Wired or wireless network at home?
Sunday, July 29, 2018, 11:14 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, July 29
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 29 in
1914 The first transcontinental telephone service was
inaugurated when two people held a conversation between New
York, NY and San Francisco, CA.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative
the day after the revolution.
--- Hannah Arendt (1906 - 1975)
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some
hire public relations officers.
--- Daniel J. Boorstin (1914 - )
Seeing ourselves as others see us would probably confirm
our worst suspicions about them.
--- Franklin P. Adams
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
When I lived in a dorm, one of the favorite intramural
sports was water fights. Dousing and bombarding one another
with water from squirt guns, glasses, balloons, even
wastebaskets.
Since each room had a sink, there was endless ammunition.
The most frequent target was the Resident Assistant.
Approaching his room one afternoon, he noticed his door
was ajar. Looking up, he saw a pail of water balanced on
the door's edge, ready to fall on him. As he took down the
pail and emptied it into his sink, he exclaimed, "
You crazy guys actually thought you could fool me with
THAT old gag!"
It was then he realized we had removed the drainpipe under
the sink and turned the "U" trap to point at his crotch.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
The Badlands Guardian and his wife
50° 0’38.20?N 110° 6’48.32?W
Walsh, Alberta, Canada
Who do you see first? The guy or his wife?
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
William Grappy,
30,
Tampa,
Florida
Florida man stole ice cream truck
A 30-year-old unemployed man apparently decided to be an
ice cream truck driver for the night after he stole a pink
and white ice cream truck from Angler Avenue on Okaloosa
Island early Friday morning, lawmen say.
William Grappy, a California man whose current address is
listed in Tampa, opened the unlocked ice cream truck
shortly after midnight and found the keys inside, according
to a press release from the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s
Office. The truck owner’s girlfriend saw Grappy drive off
in the vehicle and followed him.
Grappy ditched the truck behind the Tom Thumb at 1209
Miracle Strip Parkway and ran away, the press release said.
Okaloosa County sheriff’s deputies found Grappy, who they
said apologized for “being an idiot.”
There was about $1,200 worth of ice cream inside the
unlocked $10,000 vehicle.
Grappy was charged with burglary, grand theft of a motor
vehicle and possession of marijuana. Two “nuggets” of
marijuana were found in his pants pockets, according to the
release.
Tech Support Pits
From: Lucille
Re: Wired or wireless?
Dear Webby
What is faster for a home office network, old fashioned
cable or wireless? I know I can't go by what the computer
magazines say, because those guys never paid for their
toys and have to watch who pays for the ads.
The machines are not used for high file traffic games,
just for office work, but in 4 different rooms. We are
moving and I need to quickly decide whether to have the
new place cabled or not.
Thanks
Lucille
Dear Lucille
Professionally installing cables so that they are hidden,
with neat and clean wall jacks, is neither cheap nor fast.
If you go that route, check with burglar alarm system
installers. They know how to securely hide cables so that
absolutely nothing shows.
Wireless will be cheaper, and can be set up in an evening.
Pretty well all modern modems have wireless antennas. The
only work involved will be setting passwords and
permissions. If you are not comfortable with doing that,
you can probably entice a neighborhood kid to do that for a
nice chocolate cake or bag of beef jerky.
The file transfer speed of wireless is better than cable,
as long as there are no fridges or metal file cabinets
bouncing the signal around, and as long as the distance is
not over 50 feet, otherwise the file transfer speed is
lower than cable.
Ethernet cable speed is not likely to improve in the
future. That is a set standard. However, wireless is
getting better by the season.
If you have one or more "roaming" laptops, go with
wireless.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
BACK IN MY DAY
In my day, we didn't have no rocks. We had to go down to
the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our
heads.
Back in the 1970s we didn't have the space shuttle to get
all excited about. We had to settle for men walking on the
crummy moon.
In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had
to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to cut
off somebody's fingers.
In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together
our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.
Kids today think the world revolves around them. In my day,
the sun revolved around the world, and the world was
perched on the back of a giant tortoise.
In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed,
razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax,
you had to kill him with a shovel.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The new inmate at the mental hospital announced in a loud
voice that he was the famous British naval hero, Lord
Nelson. This was particularly interesting, because the
institution already had a "Lord Nelson."
The head psychiatrist, after due consideration, decided to
put the two men in the same room, feeling that the
similarity of their delusions might prompt an adjustment in
each that would help in curing them. It was a calculated
risk, of course, for the two men might react violently to
one another, but they were introduced and then left alone
and no disturbance was heard from the room that night.
The next morning, the doctor had a talk with his new
patient and was more than pleasantly surprised when he was
told "Doctor, I've been suffering from a delusion. I know
now for a fact that I am not Lord Nelson."
"That's wonderful," said the doctor. "Who are you?"
Smiling coyly, the patient replied, "I'm Lady Nelson."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cleaning the Microwave
Fill a microwave safe bowl 3/4 of the way with water. Add
a slice of lemon (or vinegar) to the water and then heat it
until steaming in the microwave. Remove the hot bowl of
water and wipe the microwave out with a damp sponge.
Food splatters should wipe off easily.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Cropmarks: How dry weather can reveal hidden archaeological sites.
|
___________________________________________________
Thanks to Kati for this classic:
An old lady is walking around in a supermarket calling out,
"Crisco, Crisssssssco!"
Soon a store clerk approaches and says, "Lady, the Crisco is in aisle D."
The old lady replies, "Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking
stuff. I'm calling my husband."
The clerk is astonished. "Your husband's name is Crisco?"
The old lady answers, "Oh no, no, no. I only call him that
when we're out in public."
"I see," said the clerk. "What do you call him at home?"
"Lardo."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
A synagogue had just opened for business while at the same
time a Catholic church opened across the street. After
some time the Rabbi noticed that a convent had been added
to the church, More time later a Catholic school was
built, then a gymnasium.
Concerned the Rabbi called together his staff and expressed
his concern, "We've been here the same amount of time as
our neighbors and look, they've grown while we still have
our same small temple - what are we doing wrong?"
And so it was decided, they'd send Morris to attend a
service on Sunday and check out what was going on over
there.
Sunday comes and all the men from the congregation are
peeking thru the windows as Morris enters the church.
Not 15 minutes later and Morris comes flying across the
street, yelling and waving his arms.
"So what happened?" says the Rabbi
"Oy, you wouldn't believe it" says Morris "I go into the
church, I sit down, then from the left a guy in a dress
comes out unto the stage and he's chanting
"I can play dominoes better than you can - I can play
dominoes better than you can", then from the right of the
stage some young boys swinging incense followed by another
guy in a dress starts chanting "I bet you don't - I bet you
don't" then back and forth they go "I can play dominoes
better than you can - I bet you don't", then from outta'
the back four men in black suits come down the aisles and
pick up the bets !!!"
____________________________________________________
Today, July 29 in
1588 The English defeated the Spanish Armada in the Battle
of Gravelines.
1754 The first international boxing match was held. The 25-
minute match was won when Jack Slack of Britain knocked out
Jean Petit from France.
1914 The first transcontinental telephone service was
inaugurated when two people held a conversation between New
York, NY and San Francisco, CA.
1940 John Sigmund of St. Louis, MO, completed a 292-mile
swim down the Mississippi River. The swim from St. Louis to
Caruthersville, MO took him 89 hours and 48 minutes.
1950 Disney's adaptation of Robert Louis Stevenson's
"Treasure Island" was released.
1957 The International Atomic Energy Agency was
established.
1958 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration
(NASA) was authorized by the U.S. Congress.
1968 Pope Paul VI reaffirmed the Roman Catholic Church's
stance against artificial methods of birth control.
1975 OAS (Organization of American States) members voted to
lift collective sanctions against Cuba. The U.S. government
welcomed the action and announced its intention to open
serious discussions with Cuba on normalization.
1981 England's Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer were
married.
1985 General Motors announced that Spring Hill, TN, would
be the home of the Saturn automobile assembly plant.
1993 The Israeli Supreme Court acquitted retired Ohio
autoworker John Demjanjuk of being Nazi death camp guard
"Ivan the Terrible." His death sentence was thrown out and
he was set free.
1997 Minamata Bay in Japan was declared free of mercury 40
years after contaminated food fish were blamed for deaths
and birth defects.
1998 The United Auto Workers union ended a 54-day strike
against General Motors. The strike caused $2.8 billion in
lost revenues.
2005 Astronomers announced that they had discovered a new
planet (Xena) larger than Pluto in orbit around the sun.
2018 smiled.
|
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Saturday, July 28, 2018, 11:58 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, July 28
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 28 in
1866 The metric system was legalized by the U.S. Congress
for the standardization of weights and measures throughout
the United States. The metric system dates back to 1668.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Man is ready to die for an idea, provided that idea is
not quite clear to him.
--- Paul Eldridge
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Dianne for this story:
I feel inadequate when talking with a mechanic, so when my
vehicle started making a strange noise, I sought help from
a friend. He drove the car around the block, listened
carefully, then told me how to explain the difficulty when
I took it in for repair.
At the shop I proudly recited, "The timing is off, and
there are premature detonations, which may damage the
valves."
As I smugly glanced over the mechanic's shoulder, I saw
him write on his clipboard, "Lady says it makes a funny
noise."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
Hussaini Hanging Bridge, Pakistan
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Gary Smith, 46,
Michael Christian Simmons, 48,
Southport, N.C.
Entire North Carolina police department
suspended after arrest of chief, lieutenant
An entire police department in North Carolina was put on
leave after the arrest of
the department’s chief and lieutenant, according to WECT.
The Southport Police Department’s police chief and
lieutenant were arrested Thursday
for allegedly moonlighting as truck drivers while
officially on the clock at the
police department.
All police operations in the city were suspended after the
arrests, and the whole
police force is out on paid administrative leave.
SPD Chief Gary Smith, 46, and Lt. Michael Christian
Simmons, 48, face charges of
conspiracy to obtain property by false pretenses, willful
failure to discharge
duties and obstruction of justice.
Smith and Simmons are accused of driving overnight shifts
for a trucking company
while on the clock at the Southport Police Department. The
name of the trucking
company has not been released.
The allegations state that the trucking jobs took to the
two high-ranking officers
out of the city and county while they were supposed to be
on patrol in Southport.
Smith was arrested Thursday morning and placed under a
$10,000 unsecured bond. He
posted bail and was released, WECT reports.
Simmons was arrested during a Thursday afternoon news
conference regarding the
investigation.
“It is indeed that I get before you today with a heart
laden with grief for all these events that happened today,”
said Southport Mayor Jerry Dove, according to WECT. “It was
a shock to me to hear all these, being a former chief and
knowing the officers that worked in that department and
hired at least half of them.”
The mayor and city’s board of alderman request the
Brunswick County Sheriff’s Office
to lead law enforcement in Southport until further notice.
Tech Support Pits
From: Helga
Re: Numeric keys for laptop
Dear Webby
The numeric keypad keys on my laptop are dual-function keys
embedded in the regular keyboard. It does have the numbers
again on top, but I can't get any speed going with those.
Is there a solution for that?
Thanks
Helga
Dear Helga
Numeric keypads used to be quite cheap, but because of the
huge demand, the price went up.
Honeywell sells one for $530, obviously for Government use
only.
However, even a Targus currently costs twice as much as a
standard keyboard, that has the numeric keypad on it.
I have always travelled with a standard 18" keyboard, that
just fits into my laptop backpack. Those keyboards have
been with me on many mountains and through most American
deserts.
Just find a standard keyboard, that will fit into your
laptop case or backpack. They are from $12 up, and just
plug into any USB port.
For $50 you can even get them wireless, but that seems to
me to be a waste of money, unless you plan to use a big 48"
monitor 8 feet away from the couch and you being 10 feet
away from the laptop.
Measure your laptop case and then get a suitable keyboard
at Walmart or Staples.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' break room
saying:
"Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life
are the most dangerous."
Underneath, a nurse had written:
"The last five are pretty risky, too."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
An eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical
examination whereupon the doctor said "You are in fine
shape for your age, but tell me, do you still have
intercourse?"
"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband," she said. She
went out to the reception room and said: "Jake do we still
have intercourse?"
Jake answered, "Nah, I told you last time already.
We have Blue Cross!"
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Frugal Weight Loss
Eat an apple and drink a full glass of water before eating
dinner. Both are good for you and will allow you to feel
full more quickly. This will prevent you from eating too
much of the actual dinner, which may not be as good
for you.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Cropmarks: How dry weather can reveal hidden archaeological sites.
|
___________________________________________________
A local priest and pastor stood by the side of
the road holding up a sign that said, "The End
is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's
too late!" They planned to hold up the sign to
each passing car.
"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the
first driver as he sped by.
>From around the curve they heard a big splash.
"Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we
should just put up a sign that says 'bridge out'
instead?"
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
THREE BAD NUNS
There were these three nuns and they were tired of being
good all of the time, so they went to the priest and asked
if they could be bad for one day. He said that they could
do one thing wrong but they had to come straight back and
tell him what they did.
The first nun comes back. "And what did you do wrong,
Sister?"
"I mooned the rabbi next door, and nearly gave him a
heart attack."
"Very well, go drink holy water."
The Second nun comes back shortly afterwards.
"And what did you do wrong, Sister" he asks again.
"I spiked the fruit punch at the bingo ."
"Very well, go drink holy water."
Just then the third nun comes up to the priest and again
he asks, "And what did you do wrong, Sister."
"I peed in the holy water."
____________________________________________________
Today, July 28 in
1821 Peru declared its independence from Spain.
1865 The American Dental Association proposed its first
code of ethics.
1866 The metric system was legalized by the U.S. Congress
for the standardization of weights and measures throughout
the United States.
1914 World War I officially began when Austria-Hungary
demanded that Serbia turn over the assassin of the Austrian
Crown Prince.
1932 Federal troops forcibly dispersed the "Bonus Army" of
World War I veterans who had gathered in Washington, DC.
They were demanding money they were not scheduled to
receive until 1945.
1942 L.A. Thatcher received a patent for a coin-operated
mailbox. The device stamped envelopes when money was
inserted.
1945 A U.S. Army bomber crashed into the 79th floor of New
York City's Empire State Building. 14 people were killed
and 26 were injured.
1965 U.S. President Johnson announced he was increasing the
number of American troops in South Vietnam from 75,000 to
125,000.
1982 San Francisco, CA, became the first city in the U.S.
to ban handguns.
1998 Bell Atlantic and GTE announced $52 billion deal that
created the second-largest phone company.
1998 Serbian military forces seized the Kosovo town of
Malisevo.
1998 Monica Lewinsky received blanket immunity from
prosecution to testify before a grand jury about her
relationship with U.S. President Clinton.
2006 Researchers announced that two ancient reptiles had
been found off Australia. The Umoonasaurus and
Opallionectes were the first of their kind to be found in
the period soon after the Jurassic era.
2018 smiled.
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Change Windows start-up sequence
Friday, July 27, 2018, 08:42 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, July 27
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Kentucky man tried fighting deputy
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 27 in
1921 Canadian biochemist Frederick Banting and associates
announced the discovery of the hormone insulin.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years
she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has
never been found.
--- Calvin Trillin (1935 - )
Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
--- Evelyn Waugh (1903 - 1966)
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America.
The rest cheat in Europe.
--- Jackie Mason (1934 - )
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Thanks for Cookie for bringing back this classic:
Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could
dampen her excitement -- not even her parents' nasty divorce
a year before. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to
wear and would be the best dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's
new young wife had bought the exact same dress! Jennifer
asked her to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not.
I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it,"
she replied.
Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, "Never mind
sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special
day."
A few days later, they went shopping and did find another
gorgeous dress. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked
her mother, "Aren't you going to return the other dress? You
really don't have another occasion where you could wear it."
Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course I do, dear.
I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the
wedding."
Jennifer just smiled at her mother.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Robert Kazee
39,
London,
Kentucky
Kentucky man tried fighting deputy
A London, Kentucky, man was about to be arrested, but he was
determined not to go down without a fight.
The Laurel County Sheriff’s Office said Deputy Taylor McDaniel
responded to a call that Robert Kazee was “walking down the
road, screaming and causing a disturbance” on Green Acres Road,
eight miles south of London, about 3:50 p.m. Monday.
When McDaniel arrived, Kazee, 39, of London, was still in the
road, according to the sheriff’s office.
McDaniel told Kazee that he was under arrest, and Kazee
responded by taking his shirt off and fighting McDaniel.
“Deputy McDaniel was finally able to get Kazee into his cruiser,” but
while McDaniel was driving to the jail, Kazee started kicking the
windows of the cruiser, so McDaniel had to stop “and subdue Kazee,”
the sheriff’s office said.
“During this time, Kazee assaulted Deputy McDaniel and Major Chuck
Johnson,” according to the sheriff’s office.
Kazee was taken to the Laurel County Detention Center. He is charged
with two counts of third-degree assault of a police officer, as well
as public intoxication, resisting arrest, disorderly conduct and
menacing.
Tech Support Pits
From: A few people
Re: Windows start-up sequence
Dear Webby
How can I re-arrange the start-up sequence for different
programs in Windows to get to the mail faster?
Dears
Messing with the start-up sequence is more of a black art
than a clear science. Windows doesn't really start things one
at a time, but more like the "But first..." joke from a few days ago.
And before all that, it loads parts of Internet Explorer to make
magazine testers think MSIE loads faster than Chrome, Firefox or
Oprera, when you open a browser. Then it starts loading stuff, but while
it is waiting for the hard drive to deliver what it needs for that,
it starts loading more stuff.
Even though it appears as insane as a Chinese Fire Drill in
Vancouver, it does actually finish loading everything in the
shortest possible time. If you mess with it, it is probably
going to take longer.
You can probably get better results if you simply use the Tools
in CrapCleaner and dump no longer fashionable utilities and
stuff right out of the start-up sequence.
You can also get to your mail faster if you reduce the restore
period in MailWasher to the minimum. If you don't miss any
mail in one day, you are probably not going to root through
the spam restore bin a few days later. Also age off the
blacklist in 2 days max. Spammers don't use the same forged
name twice in a row anyway.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A friend of mine was trying to figure out the best way to
break up with her boyfriend. She seemed awfully concerned
that he not be angry.
"Are you afraid he'll spread lies about you?" I asked.
"I don't mind the lies, but if he ever tells the truth, I'll break
his bloody neck," she answered.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The closest to perfection anyone ever comes is when he or she
fills out a job application form.
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Check the Date When Buying Dairy
When buying milk or any dairy product at the grocery store,
be sure to check the "use by" or "sell buy" date on the
packaging. If the date is not to your liking, grab a carton
from the back of shelf. There is no sense is buying products
that will go bad before you can use them.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
A Bulgarian Monastery, Rila Monastery "Saint Ivan of Rila"
|
___________________________________________________
When the family car developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife
if she had bought prmium or regular gas, but she couldn't remember.
"You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That could account for the
engine running so rough."
"No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly.
"Well, how much did it cost?" asked the husband probingly.
"It cost the same as always." said the wife.
"I told the man to put in the usual ten dollars worth."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
NEW DEFINITIONS
Seamstress \seem'-stres\: Describes 250 pounds in a size six.
Selfish \sel'-fish\: What the owner of a seafood store does.
Subdued \sub-dood'\: Like, a guy, like, works on one of those,
like, submarines, man.
Sudafed \sood'-a-fed\: Bringing litigation against a
government official.
Arbitrator \ar'-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby's to
work at McDonald's.
Avoidable \uh-voy'-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do.
Baloney \buh-lo'-nee\: Where some hemlines fall.
Bernadette \burn'-a-det\: The act of torching a bill.
Burglarize \bur'-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with.
Control \kon-trol'\: A short, ugly inmate.
____________________________________________________
Today, July 27 in
1214 At the Battle of Bouvines in France, Philip Augustus of France
defeated John of England.
1245 Frederick II was deposed by a council at Lyons after they found
him guilty of sacrilege.
1663 The British Parliament passed a second Navigation Act, which
required all goods bound for the colonies be sent in British ships
from British ports.
1689 Government forces defeated the Scottish Jacobites at the Battle
of Killiecrankie.
1784 "Courier De L’Amerique" became the first French newspaper to be
published in the United States. It was printed in Philadelphia, PA.
1777 The marquis of Lafayette arrived in New England to help the
rebellious American colonists fight the British.
1778 The British and French fleets fought to a standoff in the first
Battle of Ushant.
1866 Cyrus Field successfully completed the Atlantic Cable. It was an
underwater telegraph from North America to Europe.
1909 Orville Wright set a record for the longest airplane flight. He
was testing the first Army airplane and kept it in the air for 1 hour
12 minutes and 40 seconds.
1914 British troops invaded the streets of Dublin, Ireland, and began
to disarm Irish rebels.
1918 The Socony 200 was launched. It was the first concrete barge and
was used to carry oil.
1921 Canadian biochemist Frederick Banting and associates announced
the discovery of the hormone insulin.
1940 Bugs Bunny made his official debut in the Warner Bros. animated
cartoon "A Wild Hare."
1944 U.S. troops completed the invasion of Guam.
1953 The armistice agreement that ended the Korean War was signed at
Panmunjon, Korea.
1955 The Allied occupation of Austria ended.
1964 U.S. President Lyndon Johnson sent an additional 5,000 advisers
to South Vietnam.
1965 In the U.S., the Federal Cigarette Labeling and Advertising Act
was signed into law. The law required health warnings on all
cigarette packages.
1967 U.S. President Johnson appointed the Kerner Commission to assess
the causes of the violence in the wake of urban rioting.
1974 The U.S. Congress asked for impeachment procedures against
President Richard Nixon.
1980 The deposed shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, died in a
hospital near Cairo, Egypt.
1995 The Korean War Veterans Memorial was dedicated in Washington,
DC, by U.S. President Clinton and South Korean President Kim Young-
sam.
1999 The U.S. space shuttle Discovery completed a five-day mission
commanded by Air Force Col. Eileen Collins. It was the first shuttle
mission to be commanded by a woman.
2003 It was reported by the BBC (British Broadcasting Corp.) that
there was no monster in Loch Ness. The investigation used 600
separate sonar beams and satellite navigation technology to trawl the
loch. Reports of sightings of the "Loch Ness Monster" began in the
6th century.
2006 Intel Corp introduced its Core 2 Duo microprocessors.
2018 smiled.
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Eudora slowed down after 7 years
Thursday, July 26, 2018, 10:16 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, July 26
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Drunk Texan woman bit off,
swallowed chunk of victim's nose
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 26 in
1881 Thomas Edison and Patrick Kenny execute a patent application
for a facsimile telegraph (U.S. Pat. 479,184).
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Rogues are preferable to imbeciles because they sometimes
take a rest.
--- Alexandre Dumas (1802 - 1870)
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Too klutzy for eating candy
A Michigan woman is claiming that a Mars candy turned into
locked her jaw, and now she's suing Mars.
Victoria McArthur said she locked her jaw while eating
Starburst candies.
She said a piece of the candy caused her top and bottom teeth
to stick together, resulting in a condition called
"temporal mandibular joint dysfunction."
McArthur is demanding $25,000 from the Mars Corp. to pay for
her rehabilitation, plus compensation for her pain and suffering.
She may have difficulty proving in court that she locked her
jaw because of eating a Mars candy, and not because of trying
to say "temporal mandibular joint dysfunction" while eating
another brand of candy.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Jessica Collins, 41,
Spring, Houston,
Texas
Drunk Texan woman bit off,
swallowed chunk of victim's nose
A Texan woman is facing an assault charge after allegedly biting off
and swallowing a large chunk of the nose of a female victim,
according to investigators.
Jessica Collins, 41, was arrested Thursday for the bloody attack in
Spring, a Houston suburb. Collins, seen at right, was released from
custody after posting $1000 bond on the misdemeanor charge. She is
scheduled for a July 19 court appearance.
Collins, who lives in Conroe, another Houston suburb, was staying
with a female neighbor of the 28-year-old victim. After spending
Wednesday evening at a local bar, the three women returned to the
victim’s home, where Collins--seeking to keep the party going--asked
her host for booze and cigarettes.
Instead, the victim asked Collins to leave her residence, a request
that allegedly prompted Collins to attack the woman. After yanking
the victim to the floor by her hair, Collins allegedly bit off a
large piece from the bridge of the woman’s nose.
The woman, who needs emergency plastic surgery, told KTRK that she
tried to fight off Collins, “but I couldn't. All I could remember was
the taste of blood in my mouth.” She also recalled calling her
husband while in an ambulance: “I was screaming, like, ‘I don't have
a nose. I’m 28 years old and I don't have a nose anymore.’”
A court filing accuses Collins of intentionally causing bodily injury
to the victim by “biting Complainant with her mouth.” As a condition
of her bond, Collins, a divorced mother of three, has been ordered
to
have no contact with the victim. According to her Facebook page,
Collins works at Michaels, the arts and crafts chain, and has studied
therapeutic massage.
A friend of the victim has started a GoFundMe campaign to raise
$12,000 to cover medical costs. “Because of the missing piece was
never recovered, my friend now needs reconstructive plastic surgery,”
notes the solicitation, which adds that the victim was assaulted by
a
“mentally unstable person” who “lunged at my friend, biting off her
nose and swallowing it.”
Tech Support Pits
From: Bill
Re: Slow Eudora
Dear Webby
I did everything that you suggested.
There is a bit of an improvement, but Eudora still hangs.
The only way that I know around this annoyance is to delete
the program through "task master" then restart it.
Also programs still are slow to open. For example,
PowerChute, my battery backup program takes 23 seconds to open.
Then it takes 10 seconds to close it.
Do you have any other suggestions to improve the performance of
my old W 7 machine, other than formatting the HD and starting over?
Thanks again.
Bill
Dear Bill
In Eudora, move all mail except July from the INBOX to a new box that
you name, for example PRE-JULY-18
Same thing with the OUT box.
Dump the trash
Look for where the attachments go. Same thing, move most of them to a
new box with a different name.
Look for where the EMBEDDED files go. You might have a gazillion
Incredimail butterflies and crap. Browse that file with PSP or your
favorite graphics program. Sort them by size. 99% of the small crap
IS crap. You might be able to tag 10,000 of them and dump them. Just
keep the real keepers.
Dump the trash again.
IN, OUT, EMBEDDED, ATTACHMENTS and TRASH should be as lean as
possible. Then Eudora will be fast.
You might also want to do some drastic weeding out with your backup.
Back up onto a 16 or 32 GB camera chip, then dump the backup on the
machine. If it has to check a Gazillion files if they are older or
newer, that takes time. The backup program probably does not delete
10 year old files, that are long obsolete. Dump it, and then do a
fresh backup.
-------------------
Bill wrote back to tell me that Eudora does not hang anymore,
and is fast now.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Two young boys were spending the night at their
grandparents. At
bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their
prayers when
the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs.
"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO...
I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger
brother and said,
"Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
I went to a medical clinic for an electrocardiogram. While the
technician was lining up her machine, I told her I have
dextrocardia.
"What's that?" she asked.
"It means my heart is on the right side of my chest rather than
on the left," I answered. "You should set up your machine to
accommodate that."
As she attached the wires, she asked casually, "Tell me, have
you had that for long?"
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Growing Celery From Kitchen Scraps
By Judy [472 Posts, 9,363 Comments]
When you are finished with the bunch of celery, put it in
a glass of water to root. Then put it in a pot with potting
soil. When it gets bigger plant in the ground. Water it
regularly and you will have celery.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Japanese mini-truck garden contest and they are awesome. |
___________________________________________________
The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books.
Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said,
"Miss Francis, I ain't got no crayons."
"Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't have any crayons.
You don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons.
They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?"
"Not really," Willie said, "If nobody ain't got no crayons,
then what happened to all them crayons that nobody ain't not got?"
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Thanks to Kati for this story:
A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his Mom is
baking. He puts his Hand in the flour and then wipes it all
over his face."Mamacita, look, I'm a white boy."
His Mom slaps his face and says, "Go show your Father."
He goes to his Dad in the living room and says,
"Look Papacita, I'm a white boy."
His Dad slaps him hard in the face and says,
"Go show you Grandmother."
The boy goes in his grandmother's room and says,
"Mira, Abuelita, I'm a white boy."
His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him
back to his Mother.
His mother says, "What did you learn from that?"
The boy replies:
"I have only been white for five minutes and already I don't
like you Mexicans!"
____________________________________________________
Today, July 26 in
1775 A postal system was established by the 2nd Continental Congress
of the United States. The first Postmaster General was Benjamin
Franklin.
1881 Thomas Edison and Patrick Kenny execute a patent application
for a facsimile telegraph (U.S. Pat. 479,184).
1893 Commercial production of the Addressograph started in Chicago,
IL.
1907 The Chester was launched. It was the first
turbine-propelled ship.
1908 U.S. Attorney General Charles J. Bonaparte issued an order that
created an investigative agency that was a forerunner of the FBI.
1948 U.S. President Truman signed executive orders that prohibited
discrimination in the U.S. armed forces and federal employment.
1952 King Farouk I of Egypt abdicated in the wake of a coup led by
Gamal Abdel Nasser.
1953 Fidel Castro began his revolt against Fulgencio Batista with an
unsuccessful attack on an army barracks in eastern Cuba. Castro
eventually ousted Batista six years later.
1956 Egyptian President Gamal Abdel Nasser confiscated and
nationalized the Suez Canal.
1971 Apollo 15 was launched from Cape Kennedy, FL.
1998 AT&T and British Telecommunications PLC announced they were
forming a joint venture to combine international operations and
develop a new Internet system.
1999 1,500 pieces of Marilyn Monroe's personal items went on display
at Christie's in New York, NY. The items went on sale later in 1999.
2016 Hillary Clinton became the first woman to top a majority party
ticket for President of the United States
2018 smiled.
|
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How to find your IP number
Wednesday, July 25, 2018, 09:07 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, July 25
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
North Carolina daycare raided in
massive drug bust
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 25 in
1394 Charles VI of France issued a decree for the general
expulsion of Jews from France.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
It's not the voting that's democracy, it's the counting.
--- Tom Stoppard (1937 - )
"According to a new study, children that snore get lower
grades...especially if they're snoring in class."
--- Jay Leno
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Thanks to Tim for this story:
A few years ago the battery in my beat-up VW Beetle had died
because I left the lights on overnight. I was in a hurry to
get to work on time so I ran into the house to get my wife
to give me a hand to start the car. I told her to get into
our second car, a prehistoric oversized gas guzzler, and use
it to push my car fast enough to start it. I pointed out to
her that because the VW had an automatic transmission, it
needed to be pushed at a speed of at least 30mph for it
to start.
She said fine, hopped into her car and drove off.
I sat there fuming, wondering what she could be doing.
A minute passed by and when I saw her in the rear-view mirror
coming at me at about 50 mph, I realized that I should have
been a bit clearer with my directions.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Victoria Everett, 34,
Reshod Everett, 32,
Davis III, 27,
Fayetteville,
North Carolina
North Carolina daycare raided in
massive drug bust
Authorities arrested three people and seized more than 100 pounds of
marijuana in two drug busts, one involving a child care center in
North Carolina.
On Tuesday, the Fayetteville Police Department’s Gang Unit executed a
search warrant for a residence on the 1000 block of Ronald Reagan
Drive.
Detectives learned the residence was also a childcare center known as
Tori’s Playhouse, and waited until the childcare center was closed
so
that no children would be present for the search.
Detectives seized more than 100 pounds of marijuana as well as
marijuana-laced gummies and cookies and half a dozen guns.
Tori’s Playhouse Owner and Operator Victoria L. Everett, 34, and Co-
Operator Reshod J. Everett, 32, were both arrested on a number of
drug charges.
Victoria Everett faces charges of:
trafficking in marijuana by possession (Level II) – 62.8 lbs.
trafficking in heroin by possession (Level III) – 31 gm
trafficking in heroin by manufacture (Level III) – 31 gm
possession with intent to sell and deliver marijuana – 381 gm
maintaining a dwelling for keeping/selling controlled substances
conspiracy to traffic in heroin
Reshod Everett faces charges of:
trafficking in marijuana by possession (Level I) – 37.8 lbs.
trafficking in marijuana by manufacture (Level I) – 37.8 lbs.
Reshod Everett
trafficking in cocaine by possession (Level III) – 443 gm.
trafficking in cocaine by manufacture (Level III) – 443 gm.
conspiracy to traffic in marijuana
conspire to traffic in cocaine
maintaining a dwelling for keeping/selling controlled substances (2
counts)
trafficking in marijuana by possession (Level II) – 62.8 lbs.
trafficking in heroin by possession (Level III) – 31 gm
trafficking in heroin by manufacture (Level III) – 31 gm
possession with intent to sell and deliver marijuana – 381 gm
conspiracy to traffic in heroin
Both were jailed in Cumberland County, Victoria Everett under a
$287,500 secured bond and Reshod Everett under a $430,000 secured
bond.
The daycare drug bust followed a day after another Fayetteville drug
bust at the Addison Ridge Apartment complex on Monday.
At the apartment, police seized:
• 275.5 grams of marijuana
Davis III
• 1 ounce of marijuana wax
• 437 grams of cocaine
• A Smith & Wesson .380 handgun
• A Scorpion 9mm handgun
Police arrested Alvin Davis III, 27, of Fayetteville and charged him
with two counts each of trafficking marijuana, trafficking cocaine
and conspiracy to traffic. He also faces one count each of
maintaining a dwelling for controlled substance, maintaining a
vehicle for controlled substances and carrying a concealed weapon.
Davis, who worked at a Food Lion Distribution Center, was taken to
jail. He posted bail and has since been released.
Over 36 hours, the gang unit seized more than 100 pounds of
marijuana, half a kilogram of cocaine, more than an ounce of heroin,
10 guns, a 2013 Audi Q7 SUV and more than $70,000.
These arrests were made with help from the Central District Community
Empowerment Team and the Violent Criminal Apprehension Team as part
of an ongoing investigation into gang activity and narcotics.
Tech Support Pits
From: Alexa
Re: Find my IP number
Dear Webby
I am on dial-up and my IP number is dynamically assigned.
How do I find out what my current IP number is?
Thanks
Alexa
Dear Alexa
Browse to
http://webby.com/ip
That site will show you your current IP number.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A man went into the proctologist's office for his first
exam. The doctor told him to have a seat in the
examination room and that he would be with him in just
a few minutes. Well, when the man sat down in the
examination room, he noticed that there were three
items on a stand next to the doctor's desk: a tube of
K-Y jelly, a rubber glove, and a beer.
When the doctor came in, the man said, "Look Doc, this
is my first exam.. I know what the K-Y is for... and I
know what the glove is for... but what's the BEER for?"
At this instant, the doctor became noticeably outraged
and stormed over to the door. The doc flung the door
open and yelled to his nurse, "Dammit, nurse!!! I said
a BUTT LIGHT!!!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
>From Marnie
The "BUT FIRST" Syndrome. We all have it.
You decide to do the laundry. So you start down the stairs
with the laundry, but then you see the newspapers on the
table. OK, you'll do the laundry.........
BUT FIRST you decide to put the newspapers away. On
your way to put the newspapers away, you notice the mail
on the table. OK, you'll put the newspapers away........
BUT FIRST you'll pay that bill that needs to be paid. You
look for the checkbook. Oops... there's the baby's bottle
from yesterday on the floor. OK, you'll pay the bill........
BUT FIRST you need to put the bottle in the sink. You
head for the kitchen. There's the remote for the TV. What's
it doing in here? OK, you'll put the bottle in the sink.....
BUT FIRST you need to put the remote away. Head for the
TV room. Aaagh!!! stepped on the cat! Cat needs to be
fed. OK, you'll put the remote away...
BUT FIRST you need to feed the cat. At the end of the day......
The laundry is not done; newspapers are still on the floor;
baby's bottle is on the table; bills are still unpaid;
checkbook is still lost; cat ate the remote control.......
And when you stop to figure out how come nothing got done
all day, you are baffled because......you know you were
busy ALL DAY!!
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Getting Dishes Unstuck
When two dishes are stuck, one nested in the other,
pour cold water in the top dish while dipping the bottom
dish in warm water. The warm water will make the bottom
dish expand while the top dish contracts. Works with
glasses and bowls.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Why do many historic buildings in the UK have so many bricked up windows?
|
___________________________________________________
>From Tim
One night at an economy motel, I ordered a 6 a.m. wake-up
call. The next morning, I awoke before 6, but the phone did
not ring until 6:30.
"Good morning," a young man said sheepishly.
"This is your wake-up call."
Annoyed, I let the hotel worker have it. "You were supposed
to call me at 6!", I complained. "What if I had a million-dollar
deal to close this morning, and your oversight made me miss
out on it?"
"Well, sir," the desk clerk quickly replied, "if you had a
million-dollar deal to close, you wouldn't be staying in
this motel!"
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Thanks to Sandie for these Call Center recordings:
Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and
can't get through; can you help?"
Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"
Customer: "It's on the door of your business."
Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."
____________________________________________________
Today, July 25 in
0326 Constantine refused to carry out the traditional pagan
sacrifices.
1394 Charles VI of France issued a decree for the general expulsion
of Jews from France.
1564 Maximillian II became emperor of the Holy Roman Empire.
1587 Japanese strong-man Hideyoshi banned Christianity in Japan and
ordered all Christians to leave.
1593 France's King Henry IV converted from Protestantism to Roman
Catholicism.
1759 British forces defeated a French army at Fort Niagara in Canada.
1799 Napoleon Bonaparte defeated the Ottomans at Aboukir, Egypt.
1805 Aaron Burr visited New Orleans with plans to establish a new
country, with New Orleans as the capital city.
1845 China granted Belgium equal trading rights with Britain, France
and the United States.
1850 Gold was discovered in the Rogue River in OR.
1854 The paper collar was patented by Walter Hunt.
1861 The Crittenden Resolution, which called for the American Civil
War to be fought to preserve the Union and not for slavery, was
passed by the U.S. Congress.
1866 Ulysses S. Grant was named General of the Army. He was the first
American officer to hold the rank.
1871 Seth Wheeler patented perforated wrapping paper.
1907 Korea became a protectorate of Japan.
1909 French aviator Louis Bleriot flew across the English Channel in
a monoplane. He traveled from Calais to Dover in 37 minutes. He was
the first man to fly across the channel.
1914 Russia declared that it would act to protect Serbian
sovereignty.
1924 Greece announced the deportation of 50,000 Armenians.
1941 The U.S. government froze all Japanese and Chinese assets.
1943 Italian Fascist dictator Benito Mussolini was overthrown in a
coup.
1946 The U.S. detonated an atomic bomb at Bikini Atoll in the
Pacific. It was the first underwater test of the device.
1952 Puerto Rico became a self-governing commonwealth of the U.S.
1978 Louise Joy Brown, the first test-tube baby, was born in Oldham,
England. She had been conceived through in-vitro fertilization.
1984 Soviet cosmonaut Svetlana Savitskaya became the first woman to
walk in space. She was aboard the orbiting space station Salyut 7.
1994 Israel and Jordan formally ended the state of war that had
existed between them since 1948.
1999 Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France. He was only the second
American to win the race.
2010 WikiLeaks leaked to the public more than 90,000 internal reports
involving the U.S.-led War in Afghanistan from 2004-2010.
2016 Verizon Communications agreed to purchase Yahoo!'s operating
business for $4.83 billion with the intention to merge it with AOL.
2018 smiled.
|
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How to find the real sender of spam
Tuesday, July 24, 2018, 08:27 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, July 24
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
St. Johns County woman bit boyfriend,
stabbed him with scissors, robbed him
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 24 in
1847 Mormon leader Brigham Young and his followers arrived in
the valley of the Great Salt Lake in present-day Utah.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself
a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about
repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the
struggle for independence.
--- Charles Austin Beard (1874 - 1948)
Ask yourself the easy questions and you’ll have a hard life,
ask yourself the hard questions and you’ll have an easier life!
--- Peter Thomson
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
I was a Bible seller a few years ago when I was down on my
luck a bit. Trying to sell Bibles on the corner was tough and
I wasn't doing too well when this young fellow with a really
bad stutter came up to me and said,
"Wha wha what are you, you, try try trying to s s s sell?"
I said I'm selling Bibles and I'm not doing too well.
Well with that he made me an offer I couldn't refuse.
"C c c can I t t ttake a couple and s s s sell them them
d d door to d d door for you?" he asked.
So I gave him three Bibles and he was off, but only for
twenty minutes and he was back cash in hand, amazing!
So with no hesitation he was off with six more, and again
about half an hour later, all gone! Incredible, too good to
be true, so I thought I'd follow him and see what his
secret was!
He tapped on the door of his next house and I heard him
say to the householder,"W ww wo wou would you you you
li li li like t t t to b b b buy a B B BIble or would y y y you
you you li li li like like m m me t t t ta read it t t to you?!!
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Jessica Allen, 21,
Jacksonville,
Florida
St. Johns County woman bit boyfriend,
stabbed him with scissors, robbed him
A St. Augustine woman is in the St. Johns County Jail after she
forcibly stole money from her boyfriend and stabbed him with
scissors, an arrest report said.
Jessica Allen, 21, bit her boyfriend of six months and stabbed him in
the back of the leg, deputies said.
The boyfriend also said that he had been attacked before and was once
hospitalized as a result.
Allen is charged with battery and larceny is in the St. Johns County
Jail on a $4,000 bond.
Records show she has been arrested five times in St. Johns County,
including one in 2015 for battery.
Tech Support Pits
From: Karen
Re: How do I find the real sender of spam or spoofs?
Dear Webby
This is probably a very dumb question.
How do I find the real sender of spam or spoofs?
Sometimes I suspect that it's a spoof, but how can
I tell for sure?
Karen
Dear Karen
If you get MailWasher, you
will see the actual linking going on, right in the preview, before
even downloading the complete mail. You will see, for example, that a
message pretending to be from PayPal or from
MyPostcards has been sent with Outlook. That alone proves that the
mail is a spoof, since big companies don't use Outlook. Then you see
stuff like PayPal.com (links to ....... a bunch of numbers and weird
addresses). You can look a lot further, but that's already
more than enough proof that that mail is crooked.
There is no point, really, in investigating further, since
they probably forged the sender address anyway.
Just mark it for deleting, and if you get a lot of them, make
a filter to dump them automatically, unseen.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Old man Zack had an incredible mule. They had been together
for years and stayed pretty much to themselves. One day, Zack
and his mule were walking down the road when a passerby asked
if Zack needed a ride to town. Zack accepted the offer and the
driver asked, "What about your mule?"
Zack said, "Oh, don't worry about him. He'll keep up." Then
Zack got into the truck while his mule ran along behind.
The driver was a little cruel and decided to speed up a little.
The mule was right in back of them as they reached 55 mph.
The driver accelerated and the mule and stayed with them.
They reached 70 miles per hour and the mule was still right
behind them. The driver couldn't believe this. He turned to
Zack and said, "I'm worried about your mule. His tongue is
hanging out."
Zack said, "Which way?"
The driver said, "Left."
And Zack said, "Well, stay in this lane, he's about to pass."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
A middle aged man wasn't feeling well, so he went to the doctor
for a check up. After a thorough examination, the doctor said,
"Well, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut
out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking."
The man said, "Well, to be honest with you Doc,
I don't deserve the best. What's the second best?"
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Reduce Static On Carpets
To cut down on those annoying static shocks from walking
on your carpet, mix 1 part fabric softener to 5 parts water
in a clean spray bottle. Put the spray bottle on its widest
setting and spray your carpet with a light mist.
That makes your hallways smell nice, but on some carpets
may increase the static when the water dries. Plus it can
get rather expensive!
Most hotels, that have static problems on long hallways, use
a bottle cap full of vinegar in a quart sprayer and the rest
of it filled with water. That is the sorta familiar, but hard to
indentify, fresh scent that you smell in the hallways of
many of the better hotels.
At a dollar per gallon it's also a lot cheaper.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
For train lovers. |
___________________________________________________
The surgeon told his patient that woke up after
having been operated: "I'm afraid we're going to
have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot
my rubber gloves inside you."
"Well, if it's just because of them, I'd rather pay
for them if you just leave me alone."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Thanks to Susan for this story:
After my husband and I had a huge argument, we ended up not
talking to each other for days.
Finally, on the third day, he asked where one of his shirts
was.
"Oh," I said, "So now you're speaking to me."
He looked confused, "What are you talking about?"
"Haven't you noticed I haven't spoken to you for three days?"
I challenged.
"No," he said, "I just thought we were getting along."
____________________________________________________
Today, July 24 in
1847 Mormon leader Brigham Young and his followers arrived in the
valley of the Great Salt Lake in present-day Utah.
1847 Richard M. Hoe patented the rotary-type printing press.
1923 The Treaty of Lausanne, which settled the boundaries of modern
Turkey, was concluded in Switzerland.
1929 U.S. President Hoover proclaimed the Kellogg-Briand Pact, which
renounced war as an instrument of foreign policy.
1948 Soviet occupation forces in Germany blockaded West Berlin. The
U.S.-British airlift began the following day.
1969 The Apollo 11 astronauts splashed down safely in the Pacific
Ocean.
1987 Hulda Crooks, at 91 years of age, climbed Mt. Fuji. Hulda became
the oldest person to climb Japan’s highest peak.
2018 smiled.
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Monday, July 23, 2018, 06:22 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, July 23
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Memphis Man Steals Date's Car,
Goes on Another Date
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 23 in
1829 William Burt patented the typographer, which was the first typewriter.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
--- Gail Godwin
If a man does not keep pace with his companions,
perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears,
however measured or far away.
--- Henry David Thoreau
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that
when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly
realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man
next to him, he said, "I forgot my teeth."
The man said, "No problem."
With that, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of
false teeth. "Try these," he said.
The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said.
The man then said, "I have another pair... try these."
The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight."
The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more
pair of false teeth... try them."
The speaker said, "They fit perfectly."
With that he ate his meal and gave his address. After the dinner
meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had
helped him.
"I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office?
I've been looking for a good dentist."
The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm the local undertaker."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Kelton Griffin,
Memphis
Tennessee
Memphis Man Steals Date's Car,
Goes on Another Date
Police in Memphis say a man stole his date's car
And drove it to a date with another woman.
Police say a woman reported her car stolen after Kelton Griffin
went to her house to take her on a date. WMC-TV reports that
Griffin stopped at a gas station and asked the woman to get him
some cigars. A police report says while she was gone, he drove off
in her Volvo.
Later in the same Saturday evening, another woman contacted the
victim and told her that Griffin had taken her on a date. That
woman led police to a drive-in movie theater, where they found the
Volvo.
Griffin was in the driver's seat and police arrested him and
charged him with theft of property.
Tech Support Pits
From: Elizabeth
Re: What to do about spoofs
Dear Webby,
The weird characters you mentioned today also come from
mail written with Microsoft WEIRD and Microsoft Live Mail.
There apparently ARE ways to fix that and force their crap
to use standard encoding, but one would have to read the
instwuckshions. That unfortunately is not fashionable with
THAT crowd.
Now for today's question:
There is a real epidemic of spoofs coming into my mail box.
I know they are just caused by a virus, or rather by people
who are too stupid to protect their machines from viruses,
and I don't blame ebay or PayPal or Mypostcards or Hallmark
or Citibank for being spoofed about, but isn't there something
that can be done about it?
We can put people into space and eavesdrop on terrorists, you'd
think these scammers could be nailed with today's technology! I
know the government is useless and the politicians are busy trying
to guarantee themselves a warm place to shit and have other
prioities than the tax payers, but can't the IT industry come up
with a solution? Yeah, I know, look at Vista! Some solution!
In the meantime, what do YOU suggest for dealing with this
unholy crap?
Elizabeth
Dear Elizabeth
Yes, I know that the government COULD use the spamcops to
identify the scammers, but as you said, they have other priorities,
and most likely some bleeding heart liberal judges would make
identifying scammers just as illegal as eavesdropping on
terrorists. Look how it took Russian hackers to expose Broom
Hilda's crimes, which are now ignored and the witch hunt is about
who might have gotten groped or laid by Trump.
As mentioned before, I use Mailwasher.
It recognizes those spoofs and marks them as KNOWN and to be
deleted. When you hit F6 to process, it dumps them without ever
downloading more than a few lines of the header.
You can even make filters. For example, if you don't know anybody
in Russia or Nigeria, then you can set it so that mail from there
gets dumped without even showing in the list.
MailWasher of course looks at the actual and hidden sender address.
It completely ignores the faked one pretending to be your bank.
A lot of scammers forge your own address as the sender address,
even the underlying hidden address. No Problem, Mailwasher can deal
with that too.
I have used the same addresses since 1993, and they are probably on
ever spammer's CD in the entire world. That does not bother me one
bit. MailWasher takes care of them all.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
SCIENCE: BREAD IS DANGEROUS
1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are
bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-
consuming households score below average on
standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was
baked in the home, the average life expectancy
was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were
unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth;
and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and
influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed
within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects
deprived of bread and given only water to eat, begged
for bread after as little as two days.
6. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the
user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut
butter, and even cream cheese.
7. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the
human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows
that eating bread could lead to your body being taken
over by this absorptive food product, turning you into
a soggy, gooey, bread-pudding person.
8. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
9. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 450
degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an
adult in less than two minutes.
10. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable
to distinguish between significant scientific fact and
meaningless AlGorian statistical babbling.
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of
the parent-education seminars I conduct as an educational
psychologist. The elderly woman sitting next to me explained
that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks
visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten great-
grandchildren in Boston. Then she inquired what I did for a
living.
I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free pro-
fessional advice. Instead she sat back, picked up a magazine
and said, "If there's anything you want to know, just ask me."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Unusual Wrapping Ideas
Use linens or towels to wrap gifts and the wrapping will be a
nice gift too. You also can use something as simple as a car
washing chamois.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
The Theater That Shakespeare Stole |
___________________________________________________
I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly
me out to the meeting on business class. During the return
flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry,
I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in a sick
bag. After the plane landed I got up to leave and a stewardess
approached me. "Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that
for you?"
I said, "No thanks, I'm saving it for my kids."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
A couple had been married for 45 years and had
raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with
22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying
together all that time, the wife replied, "Many years
ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to
pack up and leave has to sort out all the accumulated stuff
and take all the kids."
____________________________________________________
Today, July 23 in
1715 The first lighthouse in America was authorized for
construction at Little Brewster Island, Massachusetts.
1827 The first swimming school in the U.S. opened in Boston, MA.
1829 William Burt patented the typographer, which was the first
typewriter.
1877 The first municipal railroad passenger service began in
Cincinnati, Ohio.
1886 Steve Brodie, a New York saloonkeeper, claimed to have made a
daredevil plunge from the Brooklyn Bridge into the East River.
1904 The ice cream cone was invented by Charles E. Menches during
the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis, MO.
1914 Austria-Hungary issued an ultimatum to Serbia following the
killing of Archduke Francis Ferdinand by a Serb assassin. England
used that as an excuse to start World War I.
1938 The first federal game preserve was approved by the U.S. Fish
and Wildlife Service. The area was 2,000 acres in Utah.
1945 The first passenger train observation car was placed in
service by the Chicago, Burlington and Quincy Railroad.
1952 Egyptian military officers led by Gamal Abdel Nasser overthrew
King Farouk I.
1954 A law was passed that stated "The Secretary of the Navy is
authorized to repair, equip, and restore the United States Ship
Constitution, as far as may be practicable, to her original
appearance, but not for active service, and thereafter to maintain
the United States Ship Constitution at Boston, Massachusetts."
1958 The submarine Nautilus departed from Pearl Harbor, Hawaii,
under orders to conduct "Operation Sunshine." The mission was to be
the first vessel to cross under the north pole by ship. The
Nautilus achieved the goal on August 3, 1958.
1962 The "Telstar" communications satellite sent the first live TV
broadcast to Europe.
1972 Eddie Merckx of Belgium won his fourth consecutive Tour de
France bicycling competition.
1972 The U.S. launched Landsat 1 (ERTS-1). It was the first Earth-
resources satellite.
1984 Miss America, Vanessa Williams, turned in her crown after it
had been discovered that nude photos of her had appeared in
"Penthouse" magazine. She was the first to resign the title.
1985 Commodore unveiled the personal computer Amiga 1000.
1986 Britain's Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson at Westminster
Abbey in London. They divorced in 1996.
1998 U.S. scientists at the University of Hawaii turned out more
than 50 "carbon-copy" mice, with a cloning technique.
2000 Lance Armstrong won his second Tour de France.
2018 smiled.
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Weird characters in mail s ent by Outlook
Sunday, July 22, 2018, 10:53 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, July 22
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
NC mom ODs in Bass Pro Shops parking lot
with baby in the car; both parents charged
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 22 in
1587 A second English colony was established on Roanoke Island off
North Carolina. The colony vanished under mysterious circumstances.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands
of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
--- Norm Crosby
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The Japanese eat very little fat, and suffer fewer heart attacks
than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a
lot of fat, and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British
or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine, and suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink
excessive amounts of red wine, and also suffer fewer heart attacks
than the British or Americans.
Conclusion:
Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Kelly Lourie Bennett, 28, left and
Michael Edward Ward, 25,
Cary,
North Carolina
NC mom ODs in Bass Pro Shops parking lot
with baby in the car; both parents charged
A mother overdosed on drugs while her baby was in the car with her
at the Bass Pro Shops parking lot in Cary on Monday, according to
police.
Now, the mother and father have been arrested and charged with
misdemeanor child abuse.
Kelly Lourie Bennett, 28, of Apex overdosed on narcotics after
injecting herself with the drugs Monday afternoon, according to
arrest records. Her 7-month-old child was also in the car, which
was parked at the lot at 801 Bass Pro Lane off of Harrison Avenue.
Michael Edward Ward, 25, of Clayton is listed as the child’s
father. According to arrest records, he allowed Bennett to inject
herself while the child was with her.
Both parents were arrested Monday evening and charged with
misdemeanor child abuse for allowing “substantial risk of physical
injury” to the child.
Ward and Bennett were held in the Wake County Detention Center on
Tuesday under a $10,000 bond and a $5,000 bond, respectively.
Bennett has a history of arrests in Wake County. She was arrested
for assault in 2008; failure to return rental property twice in
2013; possession with intent to distribute meth precursor,
conspiracy to manufacture meth and identity theft in 2015; and
probation violation in 2016.
Ward also has a history of arrests in the Triangle. He was arrested
for failure to work after being paid and possession with intent to
distribute a meth precursor and possession of drug paraphernalia in
Wake County in 2015; larceny in Durham County in 2016; probation
violations in Wake County in 2016; and larceny, driving without a
license and child abuse in Wake County in 2018.
The child is in Detox and will be under the care of Child Services.
No protest by Anti-Trumpers about child separation are scheduled,
yet.
Tech Support Pits
From Barb
Re: Weird symbols in mail that came from Outlook
Dear Webby,
In mail, that originated from me and shows in people's replies,
there are weird symbols like  or É.
They show even in Gmail, if a portion of it came from my other
machine, that has Outlook on it.
What is the cause of that?
Thanks
Barb
Dear Barb
That is just Microslop.
You must have seen complaints regarding "winmail.dat", that most
people nowadays delete automatically right on the server.
Win mail.dat is sent by Outlook and Microsoft WORD to supply
supplementary font information so that other Outlook users see
left-wing quotes, curly quotes and similar non-standard characters,
that look cutesy on widdle goilies emails, but are just a nuisance
on regular standard programs.
That is why Microsoft adds a secret "Winmail.dat" file to supply
the extra information. Well, almost everybody dumps the thilly
winmail.dat right on the server. It is just a useless nuisance.
IF, and only IF, the receiving victim has Microsoft Office or
Outlook, then they can use the winmail.dat to tilt the quotes and
do a few other semi-cute stunts.
Standard programs just show whatever letters come through.
Your Outlook uses
É (plus winmail dat translator)
to produce a left wing quote,
There IS a setting in Outluck to make it send standard characters
and forget the left wing quotes and curly quotes.
Microsoft calls the left wing quotes "Smart Quotes".
The rest of us call them "Microslop".
Here is how to turn the Microslop off and get standard
characters:https://www.extendoffice.com/documents/outlook/2084-
outlook-disable-turn-off-smart-quotes.html
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Over dinner, a woman said to her husband, "I met this horrible
and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he
was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad
language; he even threatened me!"
"How did you meet this fellow?" He asked, very concerned.
She said, "Well, we met by accident, I hit his wheel chair
with the car."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
A Sunday school teacher was instructing her class. Just
before she dismissed them to go to church she asked them,
"Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
Little Johnny was quick to blurt out what he was certain
was the correct answer, "Because people are sleeping!"
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Preventing Dirt Under Your Finger Nails
Here's an old trick for people who don't like to use gloves
when they garden. Rub your finger nails over a bar of soap.
Your nails will fill up with the soap and prevent dirt from
building up. When you clean up, scrub your nails with a
nail brush to easily remove the soap.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
Photos to enjoy and many, many more behind these, just click away.
|
___________________________________________________
The police in a sleepy Alberta town were notified that
a very panicked citizen was at a local garage screaming
in terror. When they arrived, they met the man, who had
peed his pants, could hardly stand, while he pointed at
a garage. They could detect no smell of alcohol.
The man blithered there was a was a wild lion loose
in that garage. The monster had chased him, snarling.
He was so frightened the officers took him seriously,
drawing their guns, crept cautiously into the garage
After a few minutes they came out, hanging onto each
other, barely able to talk for laughing. They called the
man over. "We found your lion, take a look."
Out walked the most embarrassed dog in the world.
He was the garage guard dog. It was painful to look
at him. Yellow, huge, he had once sported long
shaggy hair. The owner had taken him to a groomer to
be shaved. He had also given the groomer a bottle
of strong homemade wine.
The groomer went creative. He shaved the poor
dog, leaving a huge ruff around his neck, a puff on
the end of the tail, plus styled huge furry boots on his
feet. He did indeed look like a lion. Sort of.
A crowd gathered, everyone shaking with mirth.
The lion dog had enough. He opened his mouth
and roared. The crowd scattered, the cops
leaped into their car. The owner walked out
of the garage, wiping his hands on a greasy
rag. He grinned at the dog, "Atta boy, you
should get a medal for bravery under fire."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Bob was on vacation, trying to play the slot machines. It was his
first time in a casino, and he wasn't sure how the machines
operated.
"Excuse me." he said to a casino employee. "How does
this work?"
The worker showed him how to insert a bill, hit the spin
button, and operate the release handle.
"And where does the money come out?" he asked.
He smiled and motioned to a far wall before saying,
"Usually at the ATM."
____________________________________________________
Today, July 22 in
1376 The legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin leading rats out of
town is said to have occurred on this date.
1587 A second English colony was established on Roanoke Island off
North Carolina. The colony vanished under mysterious circumstances.
1796 Cleaveland was founded by General Moses Cleaveland.
1798 The USS Constitution was underway and out to sea for the first
time since being launched on October 21, 1797.
1812 English troops under the Duke of Wellington defeated the
French at the Battle of Salamanca in Spain.
1926 Babe Ruth caught a baseball at Mitchell Field in New York. The
ball had been dropped from an airplane flying at 250 feet.
1933 Wiley Post ended his around-the-world flight. He had traveled
15,596 miles in 7 days, 18 hours and 45 minutes.
1937 The U.S. Senate rejected President Roosevelt's proposal to add
more justices to the Supreme Court.
1943 American forces led by General George S. Patton captured
Palermo, Sicily.
1955 U.S. Vice-President Richard M. Nixon chaired a cabinet meeting
in Washington, DC. It was the first time that a Vice-President had
carried out the task.
1975 Confederate General Robert E. Lee had his U.S. citizenship
restored by the U.S. Congress.
1987 The U.S. began its policy of escorting re-flagged Kuwaiti
tankers up and down the Persian Gulf to protect them from possible
attack by Iran.
1998 Iran tested medium-range missile, capable of reaching Israel
or Saudi Arabia.
2000 Astronomers at the University of Arizona announced that they
had found a 17th moon orbiting Jupiter.
2003 In northern Iraq, Saddam Hussein's sons Odai and Qusai died
after a gunfight with U.S. forces.
2003 In Paris, France, a fire broke out near the top of the Eiffel
Tower. About 4,000 visitors were evacuated and no injuries were
reported.
2009 The longest total solar eclipse of the 21st century, lasting
up to 6 minutes and 38.8 seconds, occurred over parts of Asia and
the Pacific Ocean.
2018 smiled.
|
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Secondary email account problems
Saturday, July 21, 2018, 08:45 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, July 21
Thank you, Lisa!!
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
SC Woman threatens to punch babies
if she sees mums breastfeeding
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 21 in
1831 Belgium became independent as Leopold I was
proclaimed King of the Belgians.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us.
Pigs treat us as equals.
--- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that
what we learned the day before was wrong.
--- Bill Vaughan
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
When I attended a convention once of
oil men, the first speaker was from Texas.
He rambled on about stuff for a good half
hour and then introduced the next gent,
who happened to be from Oklahoma. The
Texas man said, "Oklahoma, an outlying
province of Texas."
The second speaker said, "Thank you,
Mr. Smith, but, just to set the record straight,
there ain't NO state that can out-lie Texas."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Carly Clark,
Spartanburg,
South Carolina
SC Woman threatens to punch babies
if she sees moms breastfeeding
A mother posted a hateful message to Facebook where she threatened
to punch women and their babies if they breastfed in front of her.
Furious parents shared the shocking social media rant in which
Carly Clark said she was ‘not sorry’.
Carly Clark, from South Carolina, US, made the violent threats
because she said didn’t want her children to see women
breastfeeding in public.
‘The next female that tries to whip her boob out to breastfeed in
front of my kids will get a black eye, move that baby bc [because]
I’ll punch it too [sic].
On the only full length picture online of Carly Clark she appears
to have the chest of an average 12 year old boy.
After finding out Carly worked as a manager at pet shop Petsense,
some outraged parents sent screenshots to the company. Petsense
issued an online statement claiming they did not ‘condone violence
such as was recently posted by a Petsense employee’ and that she
did not represent the company’s views. A few hours later, a follow-
up message claimed that following an investigation, the individual
was ‘no longer employed’.
Tech Support Pits
From Bill
Re: Seconday mail account problem
Dear Webby,
It's Bill again. Now Eudora won't retrieve mail from my secondary
address. It should be the same PW as my "dominant" personality.
"Dominant" works. The secondary gives an error message "ERR
Authentication failure, mate".
I would appreciate any help you can offer.
Thanks.
Bill
Dear Bill
Eudora has been able to handle dominant plus secondary accounts
since about 1993, however, when semi-skilled and sooty summer help
at the ISP messes around, it can turn into a real nuisance.
Those kids tend to assume that everybody gets onto the Internet
with a SillyPhone, like they are, so they keep changing the
settings at the ISP side.
Instead of coping with the silly twits, most people simply set the
secondary email to automatically forward to the dominant or primary
email.
That way you get everything at your dominant email address, and
don't have to worry about all the others. They simply show up.
You still see which address the mail has been sent to.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A boy and his dad were playing with toy cars. The father had the
police car and pretended to pull over the car that the boy was
playing with. "Do you have a drivers license?" he asked the boy.
"No," the boy answered seriously.
"Are you resisting arrest?" asked the father.
The boy hesitated, then said, "No, I'm not sleepy yet."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
On her way back from the concession stand, Sally
asked a man at the end of the row, "Pardon me,
but did I step on your foot before?"
Expecting an apology, the man said, "Indeed you did."
The woman nodded. "Oh good. Then this is my row."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Baking Fish
When baking fish, set each fillet on a lettuce leaf. The
lettuce will prevent the fish fillets from sticking to the pan.
Just discard the lettuce when your fish is done baking.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
The Russian dachas.
|
___________________________________________________
Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a
long trial, the jury aquitted him. Later that day, Carlson came
back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.
"Your honor," he said, "I want to get out a warrant for that
dirty lawyer of mine."
"Why?" asked the judge. "He won your aquittal. What do you want
to have him arrested for?"
"Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to
pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole..."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
What is the one thing that all women at singles bars have in
common?
An untanned ring line on their ring finger.
____________________________________________________
Today, July 21 in
1831 Belgium became independent as Leopold I was proclaimed King of
the Belgians.
1861 The first major battle of the U.S. Civil War began. It was the
Battle of Bull Run at Manassas Junction, VA. The Confederates won
the battle.
1925 The "Monkey Trial" ended in Dayton, TN. John T. Scopes was
convicted and fined $100 for violating the state prohibition on
teaching Darwin's theory of evolution. The conviction was later
overturned on a legal technicality because the judge had set the
fine instead of the jury.
1930 The Veterans Administration of the United States was
established.
1931 The Reno Race Track inaugurated the daily double in the U.S.
1940 Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia were annexed by the Soviet
Union.
1944 American forces landed on Guam during World War II.
1949 The U.S. Senate ratified the North Atlantic Treaty.
1954 The Geneva Conference partitioned Vietnam into North Vietnam
and South Vietnam.
1959 A U.S. District Court judge in New York City ruled that "Lady
Chatterley’s Lover" was not a dirty book.
1961 Captain Virgil "Gus" Grissom became the second American to
rocket into a sub-orbital pattern around the Earth. He was flying
on the Liberty Bell 7.
1968 Arnold Palmer became the first golfer to make a million
dollars in career earnings after he tied for second place at the
PGA Championship.
1980 Draft registration began in the United States for 19 and 20-
year-old men.
1997 The U.S.S. Constitution, which defended the United States
during the War of 1812, set sail under its own power for the first
time in 116 years.
1998 Chinese gymnast Sang Lan, 17, was paralyzed after a fall while
practicing for the women's vault competition at the Goodwill Games
in New York. Spinal surgery 4 days later failed to restore
sensation below her upper chest.
2000 NBC announced that they had found nearly all of Milton Berle's
kinescopes. The filmed recordings of Berle's early TV shows had
been the subject of a $30 million lawsuit filed by Berle the
previous May.
2002 WorldCom Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. At
the time it was the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history.
2004 White House officials were briefed on the September 11
commission's final report. The 575-page report concluded that
hijackers exploited "deep institutional failings within our
government." The report was released to the public the next day.
2007 The seventh and last book of the Harry Potter series, "Harry
Potter and the Deathly Hallows," was released.
2011 In Florida, Space Shuttle Atlantis landed successfully at
Kennedy Space Center after completing STS-135. It was the final
flight of NASA's space shuttle program.
2018 smiled.
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Friday, July 20, 2018, 12:41 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, July 20
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Thank you, Lisa!!
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Crook on Fentanyl gets jaw broken
after biting deputy
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 20 in
1944 An attempt by a group of German officers to assassinate Adolf
Hitler failed. The bomb exploded at Hitler's Rastenburg
headquarters. Hitler was only wounded.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
A motion to adjourn is always in order.
--- Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988)
It is always easier to believe than to deny.
Our minds are naturally affirmative.
--- John Burroughs
Hillary is counting on that!
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a
sign saying, "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass
door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on
the floor besides the cash register.
He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed
to beware of?"
"Yep, that's him," he replied.
The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly
doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would
you post that sign?"
"Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people
kept tripping over him and bashing out their front teef on the
counter."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
(Previous mug shot)
Maxwell Elder,
20,
St. Augustine,
Florida
Crook on Fentanyl gets jaw broken
after biting deputy
A St. Augustine man was arrested Tuesday after a scuffle with St.
Johns County deputies, leaving him with a broken jaw.
Maxwell Elder, 20, of St. Augustine, was arrested Tuesday and is
being charged with possession of narcotics, marijuana and drug
paraphernalia, resisting with violence and battery on a law
enforcement officer.
According to a St. Johns County offense report, police were called
by a neighbor who asked them to give Elder a trespass warning.
After the call, the report says Elder stole a $300 extension
ladder, but the neighbor did not want to press charges against
Elder.
Once a deputy arrived to his home, he said he found Elder in the
driveway.
When the responding deputy asked if Elder knew why he was there,
Elder responded "Are you with me or against me?"
The deputy said he noticed Elder was holding a multi-colored glass
pipe with a baggie in his left hand.
The report says the deputy immediately secured Elder in handcuffs
and took away the suspected narcotics.
When the deputy was searching him, Elder told the deputy he had a
patch on his leg for bug bites, the report said.
According to the report, the deputy suspected it was a fentanyl
patch and called fire and rescue to respond to the scene.
An additional deputy arrived and, according to the report,
attempted to help the initial responder arrest Elder.
When the deputies tried to place Elder on the rear of a patrol
vehicle, Elder "became enraged for no apparent reason," banging his
head forcefully against the back window of the car, the report
said.
Deputies said Elder tried kicking one of them in the groin, so they
took him to the ground to prevent him from injuring himself.
That's when Elder bit one of the deputies, the report said. The
deputy stated, "Stop biting me."
The report said the deputy who was being bitten then attempted to
deliver a brachial stun and managed to get Elder to let go.
St. Johns County Fire Rescue informed the deputy that the patch was
fentanyl, the report said, and Elder was placed under arrest and
taken to Flagler Hospital for medical clearance.
Doctors told deputies that Elder sustained a broken jaw from the
incident, as well as a cut on the inside of his lip, stating it was
likely a result from the attempted brachial stun, according to the
report.
Tech Support Pits
From Fran
Re: Selective screen capture
Dear Webby,
I think you might have answered this before, but I can't
find it. How do I capture just the active window, not the
entire screen ?
Thanks
Fran
Dear Fran
Try ALT and the PrintScreen key.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every
hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room
somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care
where."
"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air
Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to
split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so
loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained.
I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."
"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."
The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast
bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the
manager.
"Never better."
The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other
guy snoring, then?"
"Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Marine.
"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.
"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came into the
room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss
on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up
all night watching me."
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The loaded mini-van pulled in to the only remaining
campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle
and began feverishly unloading gear and setting
up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood,
while the girls and their mother set up the camp
stove and cooking utensils.
A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters'
father, "That, sir, is some great display of teamwork."
The father replied, "I have a system: no one goes
to the bathroom until the camp is set up."
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Lemonade Ice Cubes
The next time you make lemonade, fill an ice cube tray with
it to make some lemonade ice cubes. As they melt, they won't
dilute your glass of lemonade. They are also good in iced tea!
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
23 Of History’s Most Infamous Objects And Where They Finally Ended Up
|
___________________________________________________
Thanks to Ross for this story:
While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass
by the beer, Wine, and liquor section. One asked the other
if she would like a beer.
The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice
to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable about
purchasing it.
The first nun replied that she would handle that without
a problem.
She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier.
The cashier had a surprised look so the nun said,
"This is for washing our hair."
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the
counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag
with the beer saying,
"Here, don't forget the curlers."
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his
wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
____________________________________________________
Today, July 20 in
1801 A 1,235 pound cheese ball was pressed at the farm of Elisha
Brown, Jr. The ball of cheese was later loaded on a horse-driven
wagon and presented to U.S. President Thomas Jefferson at the White
House.
1810 Colombia declared independence from Spain.
1868 Legislation that ordered U.S. tax stamps to be placed on all
cigarette packs was passed.
1871 British Columbia joined Confederation as a Canadian province.
1881 Sioux Indian leader Sitting Bull, a fugitive since the Battle
of the Little Big Horn, surrendered to federal troops.
1917 The draft lottery in World War I went into operation.
1935 NBC radio debuted "G-men." The show was later renamed
"Gangbusters."
1942 The first detachment of the Women's Army Auxiliary Corps,
(WACS) began basic training at Fort Des Moines, Iowa.
1944 An attempt by a group of German officers to assassinate Adolf
Hitler failed. The bomb exploded at Hitler's Rastenburg
headquarters. Hitler was only wounded.
1944 U.S. President Roosevelt was nominated for an unprecedented
fourth term of office at the Democratic National Convention in
Chicago.
1961 "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off" opened in London.
1969 Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin E. Aldrin, Jr.
became the first men to walk on the moon.
1974 Turkish forces invaded Cyprus.
1976 America's Viking I robot spacecraft made a successful landing
on Mars.
1982 U.S. President Ronald Reagan pulled the U.S. out of
comprehensive test ban negotiations indefinitely.
1985 Treasure hunters began raising $400 million in coins and
silver from the Spanish galleon "Nuestra Senora de Atocha." The
ship sank in 1622 40 miles of the coast of Key West, FL.
1992 Vaclav Havel, the playwright who led the Velvet Revolution
against communism, stepped down as president of Czechoslovakia.
1998 Russia won a $11.2 billion loan from the International
Monetary Fund to help avert the devaluation of its currency.
2003 In India, elephants used for commercial work began wearing
reflectors to avoid being hit by cars during night work.
2018 smiled.
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Intermittent monitor problems
Thursday, July 19, 2018, 10:10 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, July 19
Had the first raspberries today!
Yeah, I know, in the lowlands they have ripened a long
time ago, but here in the foothills of the Rockies they
finally ripened now. There are going to be lots this year!
Thank you, Claude!
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Police recognize man fleeing on stolen
motorcycle, wait for him at his house
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 19 in
1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca Fall, NY.
Bloomers were introduced at the convention.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant
angle, is a deep delight of the blood.
--- George Santayana (1863 - 1952)
It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward.
Ignorance is never better than knowledge.
--- Enrico Fermi (1901 - 1954)
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary
from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder
a black eye.
--- Miss Piggy
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was inter-
viewing a prospective student, "Why have you chosen this
career?" he asked.
"I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my
father," the student replied.
"Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the
dean much impressed.
"No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it."
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Brandon Briggs,
38,
West Jordan,
Utah
Police recognize man fleeing on stolen
motorcycle, wait for him at his house
Police recognize man fleeing from them on stolen motorcycle, dump
out of the chase and wait for him at his house to make arrest.
A West Jordan man is facing charges after fleeing from police on a
stolen motorcycle during a traffic stop for what police said was a
“simple traffic violation.”
West Jordan Police said they made the stop around eight o’clock
Saturday night near 7000 S. Redwood Road, the motorcyclist quickly
took off.
However, officers decided not to follow the man, because they
recognized him. Instead officers went to 38-year-old Brandon
Briggs’ home and waiting for him to return.
About an hour after the stop police said Briggs showed up at his
house and was taken into custody without incident.
Police later found out that the motorcycle had been stolen. The
bike was found crashed nearby, it is unclear if Briggs caused the
crash.
Briggs has been charged with possession of a stolen vehicle,
failure to stop at the command of an officer and violation of
parole or probation.
Tech Support Pits
From: Beverly
Re: Erratic monitor
Dear Webby,
Dear Webby,
Your hunor letter and my first cup of coffee make my morning.
I have an older computer and I'm on a fixed income and can't
afford a new one. What's happening is that everything is
spread out beyond the sides of the screen. Sometimes it
jumps back to normal. Is there anything that can be done?
Thank you, Bev.
Compaq
Dear Beverly
That sounds like a monitor that needs what we techs call
"Percussive Maintenance".
You whack the monitor a good slap with your hand. Then it
will usually behave for a while. However, it's definitely destined
for a one way trip to the recycling depot.
1) Turn the couch upside down and shake out the lost coins
to start your monitor replacement fund.
2) Do a spring cleaning and sell a bunch of stuff on ebay.
3) Select a monitor that fits your desk and budget. A good
source is http://pricegrabber.com
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
A 92 year old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few
days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with
a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
At his follow up visit, the doctor talked to the man and said,
"You're really doing great, aren't you?"
The man replied, "Just doing what you said Doc:
'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"
The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart
murmur. Be careful."
"Too late!", he replied, "We are getting married next month!"
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Wacky laws:
Louisiana:
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the
bank teller with a water pistol.
Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple
assault," while biting someone with your false
teeth is "aggravated assault."
New Mexico:
Females are strictly forbidden to appear
unshaven in public.
Oklahoma:
Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for
making ugly faces at a dog.
Pennsylvania:
No man may purchase alcohol without written
consent from his wife.
A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives
from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
(That ordinance was passed after some floors collapsed onto
the tenants on the floor below from the weight of the dirt under
the rugs.)
Washington:
All lollipops are banned.
A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for
a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the
city limits and telephone the chief of police as he
is entering the town.
(That is why senators use chauffeurs)
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Putting Out Oven Fires
Keep salt or baking soda close at hand to throw on oven
fires in the bottom of your oven. Once the oven has cooled,
it will aid in cleaning up the spill that caused the fire.
The same applies for stove-top and barbecue.
You can also use sand, dirt from a potted plant,
ANYTHING EXCEPT WATER! Never use water on a grease
fire. Water will turn the oil or grease into a napalm like
substance and spaltter it all over. It turns one little fire
into many big ones instantly.
Most people have an open box of baking soda in the fridge
and cupboard to absorb odors. Know where yours is, in case
you have to quickly grab it.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
People Are Awesome Presents: Tosca Rivola-Cyr Wheel
|
___________________________________________________
A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears.
"Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grand-mother's meatloaf for dinner
tonight and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly,
and I know I have the recipe right, because it's the one
you gave me. But, it just didn't come out right and I'm so
upset. I wanted this to be so special for George, because
he loves meatloaf. What could have gone wrong"?
Her mother replied soothing-ly, "Well, dear, let's go through
the recipe. You read it out loud, and tell me exactly what
you did at each step and to-gether we'll figure it out."
"Okay," the bride sniffled. "Well, it starts out,
'Take fifty cents worth of ground beef.'
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
One day a man called the church office. He said,
"Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?"
The secretary thought she heard what he said, but said,
"I'm sorry, who?"
The caller repeated, "Can I speak to the head hog at the
trough?"
She said, "Well, if you mean the preacher, then you may
refer to him as 'Pastor,' or 'Brother,' but I prefer that you
not refer to him as the 'head hog at the trough'!"
To this the man replied, "Well, I was planning on giving
$100,000 to the building fund...."
To this the secretary quickly responded
"Hang on, I think the big fat pig just waddled in!"
____________________________________________________
Today, July 19 in
1525 The Catholic princes of Germany formed the Dessau League to
fight against the Reformation.
1553 Fifteen-year-old Lady Jane Grey was deposed as Queen of
England after claiming the crown for nine days. Mary, the daughter
of King Henry VIII, was proclaimed Queen.
1788 Prices plunged on the Paris stock market.
1799 The Rosetta Stone, a tablet with hieroglyphic translations
into Greek, was found in Egypt.
1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca Fall, NY.
Bloomers were introduced at the convention.
1870 France declared war on Prussia.
1939 Dr. Roy P. Scholz became the first surgeon to use fiberglass
sutures.
1942 German U-boats were withdrawn from positions off the U.S.
Atlantic coast due to effective American anti-submarine
countermeasures.
1943 During World War II, more than 150 B-17 and 112 B-24 bombers
attacked Rome for the first time.
1946 Marilyn Monroe acted in her first screen test.
1971 In New York, the topping out ceremony for Two World Trade
Center (South Tower) took place. The ceremony for One World Trade
Center had taken place on December 23, 1970.
1974 The House Judiciary Committee recommended that U.S. President
Richard Nixon should stand trial in the Senate for any of the five
impeachment charges against him.
1975 The Apollo and Soyuz spacecrafts separated after being linked
in orbit for two days.
1979 In Nicaragua, the dictatorship of the Somozas was overthrown
by the Sandinista National Liberation Front (Frente Sandinista de
Liberación Nacional or FSLN).
1982 The U.S. Census Bureau reported that 14% of the population had
an income below the official poverty level in 1981.
1985 George Bell won first place in a biggest feet contest with a
shoe size of 28-1/2. Bell, at age 26, stood 7 feet 10 inches tall.
1985 Christa McAuliffe of New Hampshire was chosen to be the first
schoolteacher to ride aboard the space shuttle. She died with six
others when the Challenger exploded the following year.
2018 smiled.
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Wednesday, July 18, 2018, 04:01 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, July 18
Have FUN!
Dearwebby
Todays Bonehead Award:
Driver told cops he only drank at stop signs
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 18 in
0064 The Great Fire of Rome began.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________
|
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can! |
|
Nothing you can't spell will ever work.
--- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
______________________________________________________
A young man said to his girlfriend's father, "I realize that this
is only a formality, but would you mind me marrying your
daughter?"
"Who says it's ONLY A FORMALITY?" roared the father angrily.
"Her obstetrician and her lawyer!" replied the young man.
_____________________________________________________
______________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Thanks for your votes!
Earle Gustavas Stevens,
69,
Vero Beach,
Florida
Driver told cops he only drank at stop signs
An inebriated motorist assured Florida police that he was not
drinking while driving, but only swigging from a bottle of Jim Beam
bourbon when his vehicle paused at stop signs and traffic
signals, according to a police report.
Earle Gustavas Stevens, 69, was arrested for driving his Mercury
Grand Marquis while under the influence. The Vero Beach resident,
now free on $1500 bond in advance of a July 31 arraignment, was
nabbed after a driver called 911 to report that Stevens’s car
repeatedly tapped her bumper while they were in a McDonald’s drive-
thru lane.
When a sheriff’s deputy contacted Stevens, he reeked of alcohol,
was slurring his words, and had ”red and glossy” eyes. On the
Mercury’s passenger seat was a bottle of Jim Beam, from which
Stevens admitted he had been drinking.
Asked if he was drinking in the auto, Stevens replied, “No.” He
then explained he was enjoying the bourbon at “Stop signs.” The
deputy further noted Stevens’s distinction when it came to drinking
while driving: “He further explained that he was not drinking
while
the car was moving and only when he stopped for stop signs and
traffic signals.”
It was their fault for having so many stop signs.
Stevens was arrested after failing a series of field sobriety
tests, as first reported by Will Greenlee of Treasure Coast
Newspapers. A breath test recorded Stevens’s blood alcohol content
at nearly twice the legal limit.
In addition to a drunk driving charge, Stevens was cited for
driving without a license. Stevens, seen above, reportedly told
cops that he had two “prior DUI charges from Missouri.”
Tech Support Pits
From: David
Re: Which digital camera is best?
Dear Webby,
Which digital camera is best? And which parts of them
are the most important criteria? What is better, Canon
or Nikon?
David
Dear David
The most important criteria is your budget.
If you get too close to the limit of it, the best camera is
always not going to be quite good enough.
Second most important is lens size. The larger the lens, the
more light the chip has to work with.
Third is the electronics, especially how the camera interpretes
the analog signals into digital. Canon and Nikon are best there,
with the rest of them seemingly a class or more below.
Fourth is Optical Zoom. Forget digital zoom, that's just
cropping the picture, enlarging it digitally and making it coarse.
Forget about the number of Megapixels. That number is usually
just a number picked by an advertising editor and in the small
print they admit that it is "equivalent to so many Megapixels".
3 Megapixels are fine, but at around 5 you start wasting space
on the memory chip and get into problems with working on the
pictures in full size. How much free and available RAM do you
have on your computer? There is no point in paying for 12 or
more megapixels and then having to set the camera to take
pictures at 1600x1200, ( 1.9 Megapixels ).
More pixels don't extend you reach into the dark at all. It's
the same amount of light split into more real and calculated
pixels. I am a purist and don't use flash. It makes pictures
flat. I found that I can reach much farther into the dark with an
ancient Canon with a big lens.
Canon versus Nikon is a religious question. They are both so
good, that the skill of the photographer makes a much bigger
difference than the brand. Each has it's own distinct
peculiarities, that you can take advantage of, once you get
familiar with your camera. But the differences are not big
enough that anybody would buy one of each.
Remeber the differences in film in the old days? Kodak had a warm
tint, Fuji and Agfa a colder tint. For camp fire parties you used
kodak, for fishing you used Agfa or Fuji.
Canon has a warmer tint, Nikon a colder tint.
It is easy enough to adust that on the computer.
Personally, I prefer the warmer Canon interpretation.
Have FUN
DearWebby
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
Thanks to Dianne for this fishy story:
Fred Green, an avid fisherman is returning from a fishing trip with
six large size salmon in his creel.
Nosy Parker comes along and asks if the man been fishing.
"Yes!" replied old Fred.
Asked what bait he had been using our hero replied that he
had used chewing tobacco.
Parker asked how one used chewing tobacco as bait, and the
fisherman replied, "I put the tobacco on the hook in the normal
way, cast in the normal way and when the fish strikes I haul back
on the line to hook it.
When the fish comes up to spit, I hit it on the head with
the butt of my rod!
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Thanks to Sandie for this story:
I had purchased a talking metronome while I was attending
a conference in New York for music teachers. Before my
son and I boarded our flight home, I hefted my carry-on bag
onto the security check conveyor belt. The guard's eyes
widened as he watched the monitor. He asked what I had
in the bag, then slowly pulled out the six-by-three-inch black
box covered with dials and switches.
Other travelers, sensing trouble, vacated the area.
"A metronome," I replied weakly, as my son cringed in
embarrassment. "It's a talking metronome," I insisted.
"Look, I'll show you."
I took the box and flipped a switch, realizing that I had no
idea how it worked. "One, two, three, four," it said.
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
As we gathered our belongings, my son whispered,
"Aren't you glad it didn't go 'four, three, two, one'"?
____________________________________________________
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Flour Tortilla Noodles
Cut flour tortillas into strips with a pizza cutter. Use
them instead of noodles when you make "Chicken and
Noodles". Nobody will ever guess that they aren't
"Homemade Noodles". By Harlean
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
____________________________________________________
|
|
World Body-painting Festival 2018 in Austria |
___________________________________________________
The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair,
where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes
when she needed to communicate.
After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning
off to the right, so some family members grabbed her,
straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.
A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so
again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.
Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members
again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist
to hold her up.
A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said,
"Hi, Grandma, you're Looking good! How are they treating
you?"
Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note
to the nephew: "Dumb Bastids won't let me fart!"
___________________________________________________
|
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
|
Thanks to Harry for this story:
When I picked up my wife from work one afternoon, she seemed
irritated. She confessed that the day hadn't gone well, and
on top of everything else, a young customer had addressed her
as "ma'am."
"I'm not that old," she insisted. "I deserve more respect!"
She vented the whole way home while hitting the scan button
on the radio.
Finally I asked, "What are you looking for?"
She replied, "The oldies station."
____________________________________________________
Today, July 18 in
0064 The Great Fire of Rome began.
1536 The authority of the pope was declared void in England.
1789 Robespierre, a deputy from Arras, France, decided to back the
French Revolution.
1812 Great Britain signed the Treaty of Orebro, making peace with
Russia and Sweden.
1830 Uruguay adopted a liberal constitution.
1872 The Ballot Act was passed in Great Britain, providing for
secret election ballots.
1914 Six planes of the U.S. Army helped to form an aviation
division called the Signal Corps.
1932 The U.S. and Canada signed a treaty to develop the St.
Lawrence Seaway.
1935 Ethiopian King Haile Selassie urged his countrymen to fight to
the last man against the invading Italian army.
1936 The first Oscar Meyer Wienermobile rolled out of General Body
Company’s factory in Chicago, IL.
1936 The Spanish Civil War began as Gen. Francisco Franco led an
uprising of army troops based in Spanish North Africa.
1942 The German Me-262, the first jet-propelled aircraft to fly in
combat, made its first flight.
1944 U.S. troops captured Saint-Lo, France, ending the battle of
the hedgerows.
1944 Hideki Tojo was removed as Japanese premier and war minister
due to setbacks suffered by his country in World War II.
1971 New Zealands and Australias troops got chased out of of
Vietnam.
2001 A train derailed, involving 60 cars, in a Baltimore train
tunnel. The fire that resulted lasted for six days and virtually
closed down downtown Baltimore for several days.
2015 The Ebay spin-off of PayPal into a separate publicly traded
company was completed.
2018 smiled.
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