Can Open Office handle Microsoft Office files? 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, August 17.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Arkansas teacher who got caught messing with a 13 year old and leaving a trail of naked pictures on Snapchat Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1807 Robert Fulton's "North River Steam Boat" (known as the "Clermont") began heading up New York's Hudson River on its successful round-trip to Albany.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The phrase "action speaks louder than words," is most easily proven by a swift kick to the genitals. --- Devin J. Monroe (1983 -
Thanks to Susan for this story: After my husband and I had a huge argument, we ended up not talking to each other for days. Finally, on the third day, he asked where one of his shirts was. "Oh," I said, "So now you're speaking to me." He looked confused, "What are you talking about?" "Haven't you noticed I haven't spoken to you for three days?" I challenged. "No," he said, "I just thought we were getting along."
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At one of the last all girl schools in Dallas years ago, the instructor in a "Charm Course" was urging her students to give their escorts every chance to be gallant. She said, "Remain seated in the truck until he has had time to step around and open the door for you." Then, returning to reality, she added, "But, if the guy is in the restaurant flirting at the waitress, don't wait any longer."
Thanks to Jean for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
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Reported by William An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Mary Faith McCormick, Arkansas teacher who got caught messing with a 13 year old and leaving a trail of naked pictures on Snapchat A sixth-grade teacher in the rural northwest corner of Arkansas was arrested on Wednesday and charged with having multiple sexual encounters with a 13-year-old boy. The teacher is 32-year-old Mary Faith McCormick, reports local CBS affiliate KFSM. She is a sixth-grade teacher at Siloam Springs Intermediate School. Local police, who began investigating last week after receiving a few anonymous reports, say the forbidden love began on a dare. Specifically, one of the unnamed 13-year-old boy’s friends dared the kid to call McCormick. One thing led to another, and the 19 years separating McCormick and the student proved to be no physical barrier. One of the trysts occurred after the boy and a friend took in a movie at McCormick’s residence. (It’s not clear if it was the same friend who proposed the dare.) Like a good wingman, the friend left after the flick was over. McCormick and her 13-year-old lover then allegedly had sex. There’s also the very impressive trail of Snapchat messages, which includes nude photographs and much raunchiness. A police investigation of McCormick’s Snapchat account uncovered a treasure trove of photos and videos related to the affair. A 12-year-old female friend of the 13-year-old boy came across one of the Snapchat sessions when she was using the boy’s phone, and as girls always do, snooped around. Among the messages was a photo of McCormick wearing just a towel. Another photo shows a pair of breasts that police believe belong to McCormick — but investigators say they can’t be sure until they can get her to s trip for them. An unidentified witness told police about a photo of McCormick — with wet hair and breasts mostly bare — and text reading. “I’m not dirty anymore,” according to the KFSM. The CBS affiliate notes that McCormick is currently married and has a daughter. Her father is a teacher in the local school district. The full, three-page arrest affidavit has been made publicly available by the station. Highlights include the 13-year-old boy telling police that he used Snapchat to send McCormick a picture of “his ‘boner.’” The 12-year-old girl who borrowed the phone said she recalled a message on the photo-messaging application from McCormick to the 13-year-old that read “I want to climb your cock,” or something similar. Also, the 13-year-old boy told police that McCormick had picked him up in her car just a couple weeks ago and drove him to a plot of land “where she is building her new house.” The teen then fondly reconstructed the events that transpired by explaining that McCormick was “sucking his dick.” McCormick faces at least one felony rape count. She was released from jail on Thursday after posting bond of $50,000. School district officials have suspended her with pay. Tech Support Pits From: Irene Re: Can Open Office open MS Office files? Dear Webby I have a lot of files that I wrote at work over the years with the MS Office we have there. Yeah, I know, naughty, naughty! The problem is, now that I am retired, I had to get my own computer, but there is no way I am going to pay the outrageous price for MS Office. I uploaded all my stuff to DropBox, and can retrieve it from there. Actually, I have already downloaded most of it. Can I open those MS Weird and MS Excel files with Open Office? Thanks Irene Dear Irene Yes, sure. You can open and edit them with Open Office, and even save them back into Microsoft format, or into Open Office format. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Coin Purse for Broken Keyless Remote My keychain/car remote broke. The small end that had a hole that allowed the metal ring to loop through it broke so I couldn't hook the key ring to the remote anymore. They are EXPENSIVE to replace and I wanted the convenience of the remote and the keys hooked together. I thought about the shape and rummaged through my 'junk drawer' for an old plastic coin purse that my kids used to use. If you squeeze the ends, it opens to put coins OR to put my remote in there! I am sure they are in dollar stores everywhere. It fit great over the entire remote and I could hook my keys to it again. Just a little thing to make my life easier and I've used it happily every since! By Donna [126] You can also take an old key, lay it on the back of the remote, so that the eyelet sticks out beyond it, and mark where the battery door is. Saw it off there. They are brass and easy sawing. Cover the battery door with some tape and epoxy the key onto the back, and you will have a much sturdier eyelet than the original plastic. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

From Nanarina Did you know these connections? ABC News executive producer Ian Cameron is married to Susan Rice, National Security Adviser. CBS President David Rhodes is the brother of Ben Rhodes, Obama’s Deputy National Security Adviser for Strategic Communications. ABC News correspondent Claire Shipman is married to Whitehouse Press Secretary Jay Carney ABC News and Univision reporter Matthew Jaffe is married to Katie Hogan, Obama’s Deputy Press Secretary ABC President Ben Sherwood is the brother of Obama’s Special Adviser Elizabeth Sherwood CNN President Virginia Moseley is married to former Hillary Clinton’s Deputy Secretary Tom Nides. ------------- Not a joke, but rather funny anyway.
A middle aged man wasn't feeling well, so he went to the doctor for a check up. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Well, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking." The man said, "Well, to be honest with you Doc, I don't deserve the best. What's the second best?"

» Puppy Power

Today in 
1790 The capital city of the U.S. moved to Philadelphia 
 from New York City. 
1807 Robert Fulton's "North River Steam Boat" (known as 
 the "Clermont") began heading up New York's Hudson River 
 on its successful round-trip to Albany. 
1815 Napoleon began serving his exile when he arrived at 
 the island of St. Helena. 
1859 A hot air balloon was used to carry mail for the first 
 time. John Wise left Lafayette, IN, for New York City with 
 100 letters. He had to land after only 27 miles. 
1863 Federal batteries and ships bombarded Fort Sumter in 
 Charleston, SC, harbor during the Civil War. 
1896 The Klondike gold rush was set off by George Carmack 
 discovering gold on Rabbit Creek in the Yukon. 
1903 Joseph Pulitzer donated a million dollars to Columbia 
 University. This started the Pulitzer Prizes in his name. 
1915 Charles F. Kettering received a patent for an 
 electric ignition device like the ones used in cars for 
 20 years. 
1943 The Allied conquest of Sicily was completed as U.S. 
 and British forces entered Messina. 
1945 The nationalists of Indonesia declared their 
 independence from the Netherlands. 
1961 The Communist East German government completed the 
 construction of the Berlin Wall. 
1978 Maxie Anderson, Ben Abruzzo and Larry Newman became 
 the first to land after a successful trans-Atlantic balloon 
 flight. The voyage began in Presque Isle, ME and ended in 
 Miserey, France. 
1982 The U.S. Senate approved an immigration bill that granted 
 permanent resident status to illegal aliens who had arrived 
 in the United States before 1977. 
1985 A year-long strike began when 1,400 Geo. A. Hormel and Co. 
 meat packers walked off the job. 
1992 Woody Allen admitted to being romantically involved with 
 Soon-Yi Previn. The girl was the adopted daughter of Mia 
 Farrow, Allen's longtime companion. 
1996 A military cargo plane crashed in Wyoming killing eight 
 crewmembers and a Secret Service employee. The plane was 
 carrying gear for U.S. President Clinton. 
1998 U.S. President Clinton admitted to having an improper 
 relationship with Monica Lewinsky, a White House intern. 
1998 NationsBank and BankAmerica merge to create the largest 
 U.S. bank. 
1998 Russia devalued the ruble. 
2014  smiled.


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What is the difference between spoof and spam? 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday,  August 16.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Hawaiian 19-Year-Old 'Mastermind' who robbed 3 banks, got a root canal, bragged on Facebook, with picture Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1960 Cyprus was granted independence by Britain.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages. --- William H. Mauldin (1921 - 2003) A waist is a terrible thing to mind. --- Jane Caminos
A couple had been married for 45 years and had raised a brood of 11 children and were blessed with 22 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
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I was a Bible seller a few years ago when I was down on my luck a bit. Trying to sell Bibles on the corner was tough and I wasn't doing too well when this young fellow with a really bad stutter came up to me and said, "Wha wha what are you, you, try try trying to s s s sell?" I said I'm selling Bibles and I'm not doing too well. Well with that he made me an offer I couldn't refuse. "C c c can I t t ttake a couple and s s s sell them them d d door to d d door for you?" he asked. So I gave him three Bibles and he was off, but only for twenty minutes and he was back cash in hand, amazing! So with no hesitation he was off with six more, and again about half an hour later, all gone! Incredible, too good to be true, so I thought I'd follow him and see what his secret was! He tapped on the door of his next house and I heard him say to the householder,"W ww wo wou would you you you li li li like t t t to b b b buy a B B BIble or would y y y you you you li li li like like m m me t t t ta read it t t to you?!!
Thanks to Janina for this picture from her garden: Click on the picture for the large version Dear WEbby, Hope you enjoy this photo I caught in my garden this afternoon. Thanks for always sharing a great humor letter and so much useful information. I hope you continue to feel better and wish you all the best! Janina from NJ
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Reported by Helen An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Marcus Kalani Watson, also known as Kiki Seui, 19, Oahu, HI Hawaiian 19-Year-Old 'Mastermind' who robbed 3 banks, got a root canal, bragged on Facebook, with picture A 19-year-old mastermind of armed robberies at a recycling center and three Oahu banks used part of the nearly $41,000 stolen on dental work, according to an FBI affidavit filed in federal court. Marcus Kalani Watson, also known as Kiki Seui, pointed a pistol at the chest of a Reynolds Recycling worker and threatened to shoot him after the worker threw cash on the ground during the April 22 robbery, court documents show an informant told the FBI. Two days later, Watson posted a photo of himself on Facebook holding a large amount of cash, the FBI said. The worker "was the one acting tough," Watson told the informant, according to the FBI. "He almost got shot right in the chest . . . I cocked the gun. I aimed it right at him." Watson also is accused of holding up tellers at the Wahiawa branch of Central Pacific Bank and the Pearlridge and Salt Lake branches of American Savings Bank in May. The FBI said Rogussia Eddie Allen Danielson, 19, was involved in the American Savings Bank robberies, while AJ Williander, 18, was the getaway driver in the Pearlridge branch robbery. Tech Support Pits From: Don Re: Is spoof and spam the same? Dear Webby Is " spoof " and " spam " the same thing ? Thanks for writing a great newsletter Don, " The Big Guy " Dear Don Spam is just junkmail, for example some idiot trying to sell you breast enlargement pills or snake oil fuel enhancers, or similar useless stuff. A spoof is a malicious spam, for example those phony eBay and PayPal notices, that try to con you into donating your user name and password, or phony postcard pick-up notices from unidentified senders like "a classmate" or "a worshipper". Those infect your computer with a virus if you click on them. If you don't have MailWasher, then reveal the headers on anything the slightest bit suspicious and get the hang of reading the gobbledigook in the header. If the link underlying the phoney PayPal link is some long and weird Url, then dump it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easy Camping Firestarters My son used to be in Boy Scouts and they loved to make a fire at night during the summer. For fire starters, we took the cardboard from toilet paper and taped one end shut. Then he filled the tube up with dryer lint and taped the end shut. When starting a fire, put a few in the fire for fire starters. The log catches quick and the fire soon spreads to the wood. It makes a little smoke when burned, so throw a few in the fire when the bugs come out and the smoke chases them away. By Kathy Lynn [2] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Tower: "Alpha Charlie, climb immediately to four thousand feet for noise abatement." Pilot: "How can I possibly be creating excess noise at three thousand feet?" Tower: "At four thousand feet, you will miss that ugly helicopter ahead of you. They make a big racket when you hit them."
Old man Zack had an incredible mule. They had been together for years and stayed pretty much to themselves. One day, Zack and his mule were walking down the road when a passerby asked if Zack needed a ride to town. Zack accepted the offer and the driver asked, "What about your mule?" Zack said, "Oh, don't worry about him. He'll keep up." Then Zack got into the truck while his mule ran along behind. The driver was a little cruel and decided to speed up a little. The mule was right in back of them as they reached 55 mph. The driver accelerated and the mule and stayed with them. They reached 70 miles per hour and the mule was still right behind them. The driver couldn't believe this. He turned to Zack and said, "I'm worried about your mule. His tongue is hanging out." Zack said, "Which way?" The driver said, "Left." And Zack said, "Well, stay in this lane, he's about to pass."

» Puppy Power

Today in 
1777 During the American Revolutionary War, the Battle of 
 Bennington took place. New England's minutemen routed the 
 British regulars. 
1812 Detroit fell to Indian and British troops in the War 
 of 1812. 
1858 A telegraphed message from Britain's Queen Victoria to 
 U.S. President Buchanan was transmitted over the recently 
 laid trans-Atlantic cable. 
1861 U.S. President Lincoln prohibited the Union states 
 from trading with the states of the Confederacy.
1923 Carnegie Steel Corporation put into place the eight
 hour workday for its employees. 
1960 Cyprus was granted independence by Britain. 
1960 The free-fall world record was set by Joseph Kittinger. 
 He fell more than 16 miles (about 84,000 feet) before 
 opening his parachute over New Mexico. 
1978 Xerox was fined for excluding Smith-Corona Mfg. from 
 the copier market. The fine was $25.6 million. 
1995 Voters in Bermuda rejected independence from 
 Great Britain. 
1999 In Russia, Vladimir V. Putin was confirmed as prime 
 minister by the lower house of parliament. 


2014  smiled.


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How to make Gmail filters 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday,  August 15
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Floriduh duo busted for x-rated romp in parking lot Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1057 Macbeth, the King of Scotland, was killed by the son of King Duncan.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history. --- Dan Quayle (1947 - )
Thanks to Liz for his story: To confirm her suspicions, my sister needed to purchase a pregnancy test kit. Since I was going to the pharmacy, she asked me to pick one up. I didn't stop to think how I appeared to the clerk when I waddled up nine months pregnant to pay for the kit. "Honey," she said, "I can save you $15 right now. You're definitely going to have a baby."
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>From Lorraine On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist. The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten great- grandchildren in Boston. Then she inquired what I did for a living. I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free pro- fessional advice. Instead she sat back, picked up a magazine and said, "If there's anything you want to know, just ask me."
Click on the picture for the large version
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Reported by Helen An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to April Newcomb, 42, and Brandon Tinyes, 20, Bradenton, Floriduh Floriduh duo busted for x-rated romp in parking lot AUGUST 13--A Florida woman who once was busted for cheering on her teenage daughter during a videotaped brawl with a classmate was arrested yesterday after cops spotted her having sex with a 20-year-old man while standing outside a pickup truck parked in front of a Beef ‘O’ Brady’s restaurant. Responding to a 6 PM report of “two individuals engaging in sexual activity on the side of a red pickup truck,” cops discovered April Newcomb, 42, and Brandon Tinyes,20 , trysting. The couple was standing next to the open driver’s side door of a “red pickup truck with the tailgate down and both doors open.” The parking lot was “full of foot travel by people.” Apparently it got too hot inside the parked truck. As detailed in an explicit Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report, a deputy spotted Tinyes “thrusting his hip back and forth” while the “moaning” Newcomb’s legs were wrapped around him. Newcomb and Tinyes were both naked from the waist down and had their genitals exposed, according to the report. After Tinyes “moved away from between” Newcomb’s legs, the pair explained that “they were friends and having sex.” Newcomb and Tinyes (pictured above) were arrested for lewd and lascivious behavior and exposure of sexual organs, both misdemeanors. Newcomb, a Bradenton resident, remains locked up in the county jail on $620 bond. Tinyes, who was also hit with a marijuana possession count, bailed out of custody earlier today. Newcomb was previously in the news in September 2010, when she was arrested for felony child abuse after she was seen on YouTube videos loudly encouraging her daughter to fight another teenager (a still from one of those videos is below). One video shows Newcomb, serving as her child’s corner man, yelling, “Don’t fucking stop” and “Punch her in the fucking body.” I remember considering her for a bonehead award, but at that time she got beat out by an even dumber crook. Tech Support Pits From: Janice Re: Gmail filters Dear Webby You have mentioned Gmail filters, but I never paid attention. Now that HAR* spam is going on my nerves. Can you please tell us again how to make filters? Thanks Janice Dear Janice Type the common search criteria into the search on top of Gmail. Pull down the little arrow on the right of the search and fine-tune the search. For example put "Harper" into the "Doesn't have" field. Yes, they finally added at least one Boolean field. Not like the 16 in MailWasher, but even one is a help. Then at the right bottom of that is a link to make a filter with that info. In the next window you specify what is to be done with the found stuff, for example "Delete it". Don't forget to put a checkmark at the bottom into "Also apply to matching conversations" That's snooty yuppy talk for "Stuff already found in your account, not just stuff, that might show up in the future". After you hit make this filter, it will take some time, but eventually your inbox will be updated without the obnoxious Har* crap. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Using An Iron For Candle Wax Cleanup I always do the same thing no matter where the wax has dripped; once on expensive (not mine) speakers. Let the iron heat up to a medium/light setting and have many paper towels (or paper bags ripped into squares) ready. You put down the paper or paper bag then place the iron on the spot. As soon as you see the paper (bag) getting a wet look to it remove it. Do the same thing over again and again until it's all removed. It works on wood, fabric, even walls (that you can't scrape). I have only once had a color stain left. That time I used a baking soda mixture to remove the small reddish stain left behind. Sometimes the easy things seem too simple, but try it. I have never had it fail. Make sure you don't let too much absorb at once, keep replacing the paper towels. The time I didn't have paper towels was when I cut a grocery brown bag up into squares and it worked also. Good luck! By Luana M. from San Diego, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The Boy Scouts were out collecting bottles for a fund raising activity. One ambitious young man knocked on a door and a sour-faced, older lady came to the door and barked out, "What do you want, Sonny?" "D-d-do you have any beer bottles for the Boy Scouts, ma'am?" "Look here, young man, do I look like the kind of lady who would drink beer?" replied the lady. "S-s-sorry, Ma'am," was his reply. "W-w-what about vinegar bottles?"
>From Ashton I had an offer from a large company and they offered to fly me out to the meeting on business class. During the return flight we were given gourmet brownies and cookies. Not hungry, I decided to save them for later, so I placed them in a sick bag. After the plane landed I got up to leave and a stewardess approached me. "Sir, would you like for me to dispose of that for you?" I said, "No thanks, I'm saving it for my kids."

» Puppy Power

Today in 
1057 Macbeth, the King of Scotland, was killed by the son 
 of King Duncan. 
1848 The dental chair was patented by M. Waldo Hanchett. 
1877 Thomas Edison wrote to the president of the Telegraph 
 Company in Pittsburgh, PA. The letter stated that the word, 
 "hello" would be a more appropriate greeting than "ahoy" 
 when answering the telephone. 
1911 The product Crisco was introduced by Procter & Gamble 
1914 The Panama Canal was officially opened to commercial 
 traffic as an American ship sailed from the Atlantic to 
 the Pacific Ocean. 
1918 Diplomatic ties between the U.S. and Russia were 
 severed. 
1943 Because of his special talent to use food scraps 
 in both unusual and appetizing recipes, the U.S. War 
 Department awarded Sgt. Edward Dzuba the Legion of Merit. 
1944 The Allied forces of World War II landed in southern 
 France. 
1947 India became independent from Britain and was divided 
 into the countries of India and Pakistan. India had been 
 under British about 200 years. 
1948 The Republic of Korea was proclaimed. 
1949 In San Francisco, a stunt leap off the Golden Gate 
 Bridge was performed for the first time. 
1961 East German workers began construction of Berlin Wall. 
1971 U.S. President Nixon announced a 90-day freeze on wages, 
 rents and prices. 
1986 The U.S. Senate approved a package of economic sanctions 
 against South Africa. The ban included the importing of steel, 
 uranium, textiles, coal, and produce from South Africa. 
1997 The U.S. Justice Department decided not to prosecute FBI 
 officials in connection with the deadly 1992 Ruby Ridge siege 
 in Idaho. The investigation dealt with an alleged cover-up. 
2001 Astronomers announced the discovery of the first solar 
 system outside our own. They had discovered two planets 
 orbiting a star in the Big Dipper. 
2014  smiled.


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Forwarding movies 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, August 14

Thank you, Nancy!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a NC burglar caught draggiing safe through town Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1953 The whiffle ball was invented.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men. --- Max Beerbohm (1872 - 1956)
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him, he said, "I forgot my teeth." The man said, "No problem." With that, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair... try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair of false teeth... try them." The speaker said, "They fit perfectly." With that he ate his meal and gave his address. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist." The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm the local undertaker."
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Amy and Jamie are Old Friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time. Amy is upset because she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore. "As I get older he doesn't bother to look at me!" Amy cries. "I'm so sorry for you, as I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day." replies Jamie. "Yes, but your husband's an antique dealer!"
Click on the picture for the large version
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Reported by Helen An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ryan James Mullins, 22, Swansboro, NC Burglar caught dragging safe behind truck A Swansboro man is accused of stealing a safe from a drug store during an early-morning break-in. Police say 22-year-old Ryan James Mullins was dragging the safe when he was caught Tuesday. He's charged with safecracking, breaking and entering, larceny after breaking and entering, possession of stolen goods, trafficking of opium or heroin and several traffic violations. Officers responding to an alarm say they found Mullins driving down a road towing the safe. The safe in the incident was about 8 feet tall and about 2 feet deep and was used to hold medications, according to Public Safety Chief Bob Ritchie. It's believed that Mullins was trying to get controlled substances from the safe. That must have woken up half of Swansboro! Remember the sound of students dragging dumpsters filled with drunk youngsters around town during spring break celebrations? That safe must have made a similar racket. Tech Support Pits From: Jim Re: Forwarding movies Good morning, Dude! Another question for you. Ophelia sometimes has these video clips that I would like to copy to send to friends but I have had no luck figuring out how. Help!? Thanks again....you're the greatest! Jim Dear Jim Why not just send them the URL to her newsletter or her Blog archive? Even if you manage to save them and get them to work on your machine, which can be very tricky, it is a big gamble whether they will work on your buddy's machine. In her blog scroll to the bottom of THAT day, and click on the tiny PERMA-LINK link. That gives you a URL, that goes straight to that day, even if it is from years ago. With any luck your buddy will sign up and make her day. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Blanket Curtain Without Sewing This blanket was the perfect size, color, and price to cover my closet. But my sewing machine is in storage so... I got 10 binder clips and a package of shower curtain rings from the dollar store, and made them work. Now that I have done this, I can advise you to use something just a bit thinner for the rings. I couldn't get them through, but one of the loops to click them. So anything would work; bigger key rings, etc. Looks nice, huh? Total cost: $2.95. N-JOY! By Sandi/Poor But Proud [397] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

SCIENCE: BREAD IS DANGEROUS 1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users. 2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread- consuming households score below average on standardized tests. 3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations. 4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread. 5. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat, begged for bread after as little as two days. 6. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cream cheese. 7. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey, bread-pudding person. 8. Newborn babies can choke on bread. 9. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 450 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than two minutes. 10. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless AlGorian statistical babbling.
A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale sucking in his stomach. Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, she commented, "I don't think that's going to help" "Sure it does, " he says, "it's the only way I can see the numbers."

» Puppy Power

Today in 
1248 The rebuilding of the Cologne Cathedral in Cologne, 
 Germany, began after being destroyed by fire. 
1805 A peace treaty between the U.S. and Tunis was signed 
 on board the USS Constitution. 
1848 The Oregon Territory was established. 
1880 The Cologne Cathedral in Cologne, Germany was completed 
 after 632 years of rebuilding. 
1888 A patent for the electric meter was granted to Oliver 
 B. Shallenberger. 
1896 Gold was discovered in Canada's Yukon Territory. Within 
 the next year more than 30,000 people rushed to the area 
 to look for gold. 
1900 An international force, consisting of eight nations, 
 lifted the siege of Peking. It was the end to the Boxer 
 Rebellion, which was aimed at purging China of foreigners. 
1917 China declared war on Germany and Austria during 
 World War I. 
1919 About 1 million tons of ice and rock broke off of a 
 glacier near Mont Blanc, France. Nine people were killed 
 in the incident. 
1935 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed the 
 Social Security Act into law. The act created unemployment 
 insurance and pension plans for the elderly. 
1936 The first basketball competition was held at the 
 Olympic Games in Berlin, Germany. The U.S. defeated 
 Canada, 19-8. 
1941 The U.S. Congress appropriated the funds to construct 
 the Pentagon (approximately $83 million). The building 
 was the new home of the U.S. War Department. 
1944 The federal government allowed the manufacture of 
 certain domestic appliances to resume on a limited basis. 
1945 It was announced by U.S. President Truman that Japan 
 had surrendered unconditionally. The surrender ended 
 World War II. 
1947 Pakistan became independent from British rule. 
1953 The whiffle ball was invented. 
1962 A U.S. mail truck was held up in Plymouth, MA. The 
 robbers got away with more that $1.5 million dollars. 
1969 British troops arrived in Northern Ireland to 
 intervene in sectarian violence between Protestants 
 and Roman Catholics. 
1973 The U.S. bombing of Cambodia ended. The halt marked 
 the official end to 12 years of combat in Indochina 
 by the U.S. 
1976 A charity softball game began for the Community General 
 Hospital in Monticello, NY. The game was eventually called 
 off due to weather after 30 hours. The final score was 
 Gager's Diner's 491 to Bend 'n Elbow Tavern's 467. 
1980 People for Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) was 
 incorporated. 
1992 The U.S. announced that emergency airlifts of food 
 to Somalia would begin. The action was being taken to 
 stop mass deaths due to starvation. 
1995 Shannon Faulkner became the first female cadet in the 
 history of The Citadel, South Carolina's state military 
 college. She quit the school less than a week later. 
2000 Valujet was ordered to pay $11 million in fines and 
 restitution for hazardous waste violations in the crash 
 that killed 110 people in 1996.
2014  smiled.


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What to do when he can't upload pictures 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, August 13

Thank you, Nancy!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Delaware burglar caught cooking crab cakes Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1961 Berlin was divided by a barbed wire fence to halt the flight of East Germans to the West. Two days later work on the Berlin Wall began.
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You cannot make a man by standing a sheep on its hind legs. But by standing a flock of sheep in that position you can make a crowd of men. --- Max Beerbohm (1872 - 1956)
The Japanese eat very little fat, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat, and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine, and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine, and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.
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Over dinner, a woman said to her husband, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!" "How did you meet this fellow?" He asked, very concerned. She said, "Well, we met by accident, I hit him with the car."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Stephen Quinn, 41, Delaware Burglar caught cooking crab cakes A burglar was arrested after being caught cooking crab cakes at the restaurant he broke into. Most thieves are usually desperate to get in and out as quickly as possible, but not Stephen L. Quinn who was busy preparing a midnight snack in the kitchen after breaking the glass front door at Delaware's Planet X Cafe. But before he could sit down and enjoy his meal-for-one, police arrived on the scene and captured the 41-year-old after he tried to give officers the slip. Quinn, who had also stolen a bottle of alcohol to accompany his food, was charged with burglary, theft under $1,500, criminal mischief, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct, reports Delmarvanow. Tech Support Pits From: Ellen Re: Delete redundant URL and form choices in Chrome Dear Webby, Thanks so very much for your daily humor letter. I will try to upload some of your photos to Facebook or e-mails and I get This error message;"Can't Read Files Your photos couldn't be uploaded. Photos should be saved as JPG, PNG, GIF or TIFF files." Sometimes it just reads "Error." I have copied some and then scanned the copy and itd is still the same. How do I get photos in JEPG? I thought all my photo files were JEPG. Thanks so much for help...I need all the help I can get! Dear Hank Make sure the file names do not have spaces in them. Busty Blonde.jpg won't work BustyBlonde.jpg will work fine. There should not be ANY empty spaces in the file names, including at the end. When you scan something, save it as JPG, not as TIF. Some scanners come pre-set for TIFF, especially if they are Scan/Fax combos. TIFF has it's uses, but can be a real nuisance, and most browsers don't accept it. You can use any graphics program to convert TIF or TIFF pictures to JPG. Don't just rename them, that makes them useless. You have to actually convert them. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Vanilla Extract Room Freshener Recently I wanted to freshen up my home and had no air freshener on hand. Instead I took a small pot and placed some water in it, added a few drops of vanilla and some ground ginger. I then put it on the stove at the lowest setting and let it simmer. The whole house smelled wonderful! By countryheart from Marianna, FL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A Sunday school teacher was instructing her class. Just before she dismissed them to go to church she asked them, "Why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Little Johnny was quick to blurt out what he was certain was the correct answer, "Because most of the people are sleeping!"
Bob was on vacation, playing the slot machines. It was his first time in a casino, and he wasn't sure how the machines operated. "Excuse me." he said to a casino employee. "How does this work?" The worker showed him how to insert a bill, hit the spin button, and operate the release handle. "And where does the money come out?" he asked. He smiled and motioned to a far wall before saying, "It comes out at the ATM over there."

» Puppy Power

Today in 
1521 Present day Mexico City was captured by Spanish conqueror 
 Hernando Cortez from the Aztec Indians. 
1704 The Battle of Blenheim was fought during the War of the 
 Spanish Succession, resulting in a victory for English and 
 Austrian forces. 
1792 French revolutionaries took the entire French royal 
 family and imprisoned them. 
1889 A patent for a coin-operated telephone was issued 
 to William Gray. 
1932 Adolf Hitler refused to take the post of vice-chancellor 
 of Germany. He said he was going to hold out 
 "for all or nothing." 
1942 Henry Ford unveiled his "Soybean Car." It was a 
 plastic-bodied car that weighed about 1000 lbs. less than 
 a steel car. 
1959 In New York, ground was broken on the $320 million 
 Verrazano Narrows Bridge. 
1960 "Echo I," a balloon satellite, allowed the first 
 two-way telephone conversation by satellite to take place. 
1961 Berlin was divided by a barbed wire fence to halt the 
 flight of East Germans to the West. Two days later work 
 on the Berlin Wall began. 
1985 The engagement of Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger 
 was announced. 
1990 Iraq transferred $3-4 billion in bullion, currency, and 
 other goods seized from Kuwait to Baghdad. 
1992 Woody Allen began legal action to win custody of his 
 three children. A judge ruled against Allen in 1993. 
1994 It was reported that aspirin not only helps reduce 
 the risk of heart disease, but also helps prevent 
 colon cancer.
2014  smiled.


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Weed out Chrome Auto-Complete 





Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, August 12.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Las Vegas MMA fighter, who beat up his girlfriend. Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1981 - IBM unveiled its first PC.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
A boy and his dad were playing with toy cars. The father had the police car and pretended to pull over the car that the boy was playing with. "Do you have a drivers license?" he asked the boy. "No," the boy answered seriously. "Are you resisting arrest?" asked the father. The boy hesitated, then said, "Yes, I'm not sleepy yet."
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On her way back from the concession stand, Sally asked a man at the end of the row, "Pardon me, but did I step on your foot before?" Expecting an apology, the man said, "Indeed you did." The woman nodded. "Oh good. Then this is my row."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jonathan Koppenhaver, Las Vegas, NV Porn Star Christy Mack Hospitalized After MMA Fighter Attacks, Flees Las Vegas police are searching for a mixed martial arts fighter who they believe attacked his girlfriend and then fled. Jonathan Koppenhaver is accused of beating porn star Christy Mack on Friday evening in an attack that left her with "serious" but not "life-threatening" injuries, cops told the Las Vegas Review-Journal. She has more tattoos, but Koppenhaver, a trained boxer and MMA fighter, outweighs her almost two to one. His name on Twitter is WarMachine170 ------------- War Machine ? @WarMachine170 I only wish that man hadn't been there and that Christy & I would behappily engaged.I don't know y I'm so cursed.One day truth will come out War Machine @WarMachine170 · 22h I'm not a bad guy, I went to surprise my gf, help her set up her show and to give her an engagement ring and ended up fighting for my life. ----------- There is no news about the man who made him fight for his life, and who apparently left before Koppenhaver took his frustrations out on his girlfriend. His tweets hint towards a UPS driver. Considering his tattoos and addiction to muscle building gyms, he will probably be caught soon. Tech Support Pits From: Ellen Re: Delete redundant URL and form choices in Chrome Dear Webby, Chrome is trying to be helpful when I fill out forms or type URLs. Usually that is great, but when a typo is higher in the alphabet, it shows that on top, and after a while, there is just too much useless crap on top to make that feature a nuisance, not a help. How do I weed that out? Ellen Dear Ellen Scroll down th list of choices that Chrome offers, highlight a bad one, and hit SHIFT DELETE. Just Delete alone won't help. With SHIFT DEL you can weed out the choices one by one. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Grass Skirts From Tissue Paper In the old days when they made pom poms we used a form of tissue paper. Well I thought to be easy and so children can help, use tissue paper of any colors. You can use the same color or different colors. It is a fun way of doing it and the children love helping. They can do the cutting or the pasting on the material that is used for the waist band. That is how we make a grass skirt. By Georgett from Hacienda Heights, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury aquitted him. Later that day, Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing. "Your honor," he said, "I want to get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine." "Why?" asked the judge. "He won your aquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for?" "Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole..."
A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there. The man complains, "I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes." The receptionist asks, "Have you ever seen an Optometrist?" The man replies, "No, just spots."

» Puppy Power

Today in 
1676 - "King Phillip's War" came to an end with the killing 
 of Indian chief King Phillip. The war between the Indians 
 and the Europeans lasted for two years. 
1851 - Isaac Singer was issued a patent on the double-headed 
 sewing machine. 
1865 - Disinfectant was used for the first time during surgery 
 by Joseph Lister. 
1877 - Thomas Edison invented the phonograph and made the first 
 sound recording. 
1898 - The Spanish-American War was ended with the signing 
 of the peace protocol. The U.S. acquired Guam, Puerto Rico 
 and the Philippines. Hawaii was also annexed. 
1915 - "Of Human Bondage", by William Somerset Maugham, was 
 first published. 
1918 - Regular airmail service began between Washington, DC, 
 and New York City. 
1939 - "The Wizard of Oz" premiered in Oconomowoc, WI. Judy 
 Garland became famous for the movie's song "Somewhere Over 
 the Rainbow." The movie premiered in Hollywood on August 15th. 
1953 - The Soviet Union secretly tested its first hydrogen bomb. 
1960 - The balloon satellite Echo One was launched by the U.S. 
 from Cape Canaveral, FL. It was the first communications 
 satellite. 
1962 - The Soviet Union launched Pavel Popovich into orbit. 
 Popovich and Andrian Nikolayev, who was launched a day 
 before, both landed on August 15. 
1977 - The space shuttle Enterprise passed its first solo 
 flight test. 
1981 - IBM unveiled its first PC. 
1985 - A Japan Air Lines Boeing 747 crashed into a mountain 
 killing 520 people. 
1986 - It was announced by NASA that they had selected a 
 new rocket design for the space shuttle. The move was made 
 in an effort at correcting the flaws that were believed to 
 have been responsible for the Challenger disaster. 
1992 - The U.S., Canada, and Mexico announced that the 
 North American Free Trade Agreement had been created after 
 14 months of negotiations. 
1993 - U.S. President Clinton lifted the ban on rehiring air 
 traffic controllers that had been fired for going on strike 
 in 1981. 
1994 - Major league baseball players went on strike rather 
 than allow team owners to limit their salaries. The strike 
 lasted for 232 days. As a result, the World Series was wiped 
 out for the first time in 90 years. 
1998 - Swiss banks agreed to pay $1.25 billion as restitution 
 to World War II Holocaust victims. 
1999 - Hang Thu Thi Ngyuen shot an arrow from a bow with her 
 feet on "Guinness World Records: Primetime" and hit a target 
 that was 16 feet and 5 inches away. 
2014  smiled.


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Painful laptop keyboard 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, August 11.


Those models sure get around!
Marseilles
Iraq
Lybia
Iran
Where else have you seen them?

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a NC man arrested after beating cops in a donut eating contest. Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1994 A U.S. federal jury awarded $286.8 million to about 10,000 commercial fishermen for losses as a result of the 1989 Exxon Valdez oil spill.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting. --- John Russell Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes. --- Aaron McGruder
>From Dianne: What are some cultural differences between Canadians and Americans? How do you get 100 New Yorkers out of the pool? Answer: Say “Every one STAY in the pool! How do you get 100 Californians out of the pool? Answer: Say “This pool has been CHEMICALLY TREATED for your protection! How do you get 100 Republicans out of the pool? Answer: Say “Being in this pool shows your support for the Obama. How do you get 100 Democrats out of the pool? Answer: Say “This pool will be FUNDED COMPLETELY by the people in the pool!’ The difference between Canadians and Americans? HOW DO YOU GET 100 CANADIANS OUT OF THE POOL? ANSWER: SAY “Please get out of the pool.”
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When I attended a convention once of oil men, the first speaker was from Texas. He rambled on about stuff for a good half hour and then introduced the next gent, who happened to be from Oklahoma. The Texas man said, "Oklahoma, an outlying province of Texas." The second speaker said, "Thank you, Mr. Smith, but, just to set the record straight, there ain't NO state that can out-lie Texas."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Bradley Hardison, 24, of Elizabeth City, NC Burglar Caught After Beating Cops In Doughnut-Eating Contest The sweet victory for a North Carolina man who beat police officers in a doughnut-eating contest this week soured after a newspaper story about the win led to his arrest on breaking and entering charges. Bradley Hardison, 24, of Elizabeth City downed eight doughnuts in two minutes during a contest Tuesday night at an anti-crime event hosted by the city's police department, according to a story in the Daily Advance. That report caught the eye of Camden County Sheriff's Lieutenant Max Robeson, who said his detectives had been trying to interview Hardison for about nine months after suspecting him in break-ins at two local businesses. Robeson said they brought Hardison in for questioning on Wednesday. "I said, 'Congratulations on your win last night,'" Robeson recalled, before arresting the man on criminal charges of breaking and entering and injury to real property. Hardison remained in jail on Friday, the sheriff's lieutenant said. Tech Support Pits From: Maureen Re: Painful laptop keyboard Dear Webby, Since I switched to a laptop, my hands cramp and hurt. Is that due to trhe heat from the laptop coming up between the keys, or me getting old, or what? What do you recommend? Maureen Dear Maureen Dig out one of your old keyboards and plug that into a USB port of the laptop. If you got rid of them already, just buy a regular keyboard. The cramps and pain will be gone in a few days. That will also eliminate the hassle of not having a numeric keypad. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Red Wine To Attract Fruit Flies I tried the fruit in a pretty vase and the red-wine vinegar traps that you so graciously shared. Thank you. Although they attracted a few, the hands-down winner was using actual red wine. I used a small container (dipping-sauce bowl, or espresso cup), and poured in some wine (enough that they can drown). I then put the plastic wrap over the top, poked a few holes, and put it where they were flying about. By the next morning, there were a good 30+ in these containers (whereas the fruit and red wine vinegar traps had 5 or so). It took a good three days of new traps, but over 95% were gone. Thanks for the tips. Hope this feedback is helpful. By Oscar from Canada Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Two Rednecks rob a Brink's Armored truck and all they get away with are two sacks, so they keep one each. After awhile they meet again and one asks the other, "What did you find in your sack?" "Half a million bucks." "Aw... that's a lot! What did you do with all that cash?" "I bought a house and a boat. How about your sack?" "Bah... mine was full o' bills" "And what did you do with them?" "Eh well . . . little by little, I'm paying them off . . ."
Joe was a successful lawyer but he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his career and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across an old country doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is that I can cure your headaches ... The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine, and the pressure creates a terrible headache. The only way to relieve the condition is to remove your testicles." Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered whether he had anything to live for. He couldn't even concentrate long enough to answer his own question, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital after the surgery he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he also felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought: "That's what I need ... a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit", and picked one out. The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years." Joe tried on the suit and it fit him perfectly. As Joe admired himself, the salesman said, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe, and said, "34 sleeve and a 16 1/2 neck." Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years." Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman said, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet, and said, "Let's see 9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "How did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years." Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman said, "How about some new underwear? "Joe thought for a second, and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see ... size 36." Joe laughed, "Ah ha. I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old. The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear size 34. A 34 underwear would press your testicles up against your spine and give you a hell of a headache."

» Puppy Power

Today in 
1860 The first successful silver mill in America began 
 operations. The mill was in Virginia City, NV. 
1874 A patent for the sprinkler head was given to 
 Harry S. Parmelee. 
1877 The two moons of Mars were discovered by Asaph Hall, 
 an American astronomer. He named them Phobos and Deimos. 
1896 Harvey Hubbell received a patent for the electric light 
 bulb socket with a pull-chain. 
1909 The American ship Arapahoe became the first to ever 
 use the SOS distress signal off the coast of Cape Hatteras, NC. 
1934 Alcatraz, in San Francisco Bay, received federal 
 prisoners for the first time. 
1945 The Allies informed Japan that they would determine 
 Emperor Hirohito's future status after Japan's surrender. 
1954 Seven years of fighting came to an end in Indochina. 
 A formal peace was in place for the French and the 
 Communist Vietminh. 
1962 Andrian Nikolayev, of the Soviet Union, was launched 
 on a 94-hour flight. He was the third Russian to go into space. 
1965 The U.S. conducted a second launch of "Surveyor-SD 2" 
 for a landing on the Moon surface test. 
1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan was preparing for his 
 weekly radio broadcast when, during testing of the microphone, 
 the President said of the Soviet Union, "My fellow Americans, 
 I am pleased to tell you that I just signed legislation that 
 would outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes." 
1990 Egyptian and Moroccan troops joined U.S. forces in 
 Saudi Arabia to help protect from a possible Iraqi attack. 
1994 A U.S. federal jury awarded $286.8 million to about 10,000 
 commercial fishermen for losses as a result of the 1989 Exxon 
 Valdez oil spill. 
1995 All U.S. nuclear tests were banned by President Clinton. 
 He didn't want the US to be stronger than Mexico.
1997 U.S. President Clinton made the first use of the line-item 
 veto approved by Congress, rejecting three items in spending 
 and tax bills. 
1998 British Petroleum became No. 3 among oil companies with 
 the $49 billion purchase of Amoco. It was the largest foreign 
 takeover of a U.S. company. 
2002 US Airways announced that it had filed for bankruptcy. 
2003 Charles Taylor, President of Liberia, flew into exile after 
 ceding power to his vice president, Moses Blah. 
2003 In Kabul, NATO took command of the 5,000-strong peacekeeping 
 force in Afghanistan.
2014  smiled.


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Using just the microphone of a headset 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, August 10.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Church Leader Jerald Hill Arrested for Attempted Dog Sex Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1885 The first electric streetcar, to be used commercially, was operated in Baltimore, MD, by Leo Daft.
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Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. --- Wendell Johnson The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. --- Franklin P. Jones
The loaded mini-van pulled in to the only remaining campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils. A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters' father, "That, sir, is some great display of teamwork." The father replied, "I have a system: no one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up."
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While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, Wine, and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer. The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable about purchasing it. The first nun replied that she would handle that without a problem. She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier had a surprised look so the nun said, "This is for washing our hair." Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer saying, "Here, don't forget the curlers."
Thanks to Nanarina for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Parking in the shade guaranteed!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jerald Hill, 56, Roach, Missouri Church Leader Jerald Hill Arrested for Attempted Dog Sex A church leader in Roach, Missouri, is out of a job after being arrested for allegedly trying to arrange a sexual encounter with a dog. Jerald Hill, 56, was arrested Tuesday on suspicion of attempted unlawful sex with an animal and attempted animal abuse. Authorities began investigating Hill after the Boone County Sheriff’s Department Cyber Crimes Task Force got a tip about a Craigslist post by a man looking for two types of animals for sex. One of the chosen animals was a dog, but investigators declined to mention the other type of animal, the Columbia Tribune reports. An undercover detective contacted Hill by email and offered a dog for sex. The two then arranged a meeting in Columbia. When Hill arrived, he was arrested without incident, according to CBS St. Louis. Hill was released after paying $1,000 bail. The allegations have had a negative effect on Hill's job as the CEO of the Windermere Baptist Conference Center. A day after Hill's arrest, church leaders released a statement saying that the organization is "concerned for the well-being of Jerry," but will meet next week to start "the process of looking for a new president and CEO,” according to APBnews.com. Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Can I use a headset as a microphone? Dear Webby, I have external speakers plugged into the green socket on my computer. The sound works well. Can I plug just the pink plug from my headset into the pink socket on the computer and ignore the green plug? How close do I have to get to the microphone? Daniel Dear Daniel That works well. Most headset microphones are sensitive enough, so that you can hang the headset up nearby and it will work fine. Pull off that foam cover from the microphone, and it's range will be greatly extended. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cooking with Frozen Tomatoes I use my frozen tomatoes in soups and stews. But the big thing I do is save them until I have enough to can them and I make my own spaghetti sauce. I thaw them and make my sauce and then I have lots on hand. If I have extra I make some chili sauce also. You can use frozen tomatoes in canning just like fresh ones and once thawed the skins slip off nice and easy! By Artena from Tahsis, BC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The nursery school teacher decided to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free." One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said: "I'm not free. I'm four."
SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

» Puppy Power

Today in 
1792 King Louis XVI was taken into custody by mobs during 
 the French Revolution. He was executed the following 
 January after being put on trial for treason. 
1869 The motion picture projector was patented by O.B. Brown. 
1881 Thomas Edison's exhibit opened the Paris Electrical 
 Exhibition. 
1885 The first electric streetcar, to be used commercially, 
 was operated in Baltimore, MD, by Leo Daft. 
1914 Austria-Hungary invaded Russia. 
1927 Mount Rushmore was formally dedicated. The individual 
 faces of the presidents were dedicated later. 
1944 U.S. forces defeated the remaining Japanese 
 resistance on Guam. 
1945 The day after the atomic bombing of Nagasaki, Japan 
 announced they would surrender. The only condition was 
 that the status of Emperor Hirohito would remain unchanged. 
1947 William Odom completed an around-the-world flight. 
 He set the solo record by completing the flight in 73 hours 
 and 5 minutes. 
1948 On ABC, "Candid Camera" made its TV debut. The original 
 title was "Candid Microphone." 
1954 Construction began on the St. Lawrence Seaway. 
1988 U.S. President Reagan signed a measure that provided 
 $20,000 payments to Japanese-Americans who were interned 
 by the U.S. government during World War II. 
1994 U.S. President Clinton claimed presidential immunity 
 when he asked a federal judge to dismiss, at least for 
 the time being, a sexual harassment lawsuit filed by 
 Paula Corbin Jones. 
1999 Near an India-Pakistan border area an Indian fighter 
 jet shot down a Pakistani naval aircraft. Sixteen people 
 were killed. 
2003 Ekaterina Dmitriev and Russian cosmonaut Yuri 
 Malenchenko were married. Malenchenko was about 240 miles 
 above the earth in the international space station. It 
 was the first-ever marriage from space. 
2014  smiled.


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Can a spreadsheet be spread over two monitors? 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, August 9.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Oklahoma teacher, who turned up drunk and without pants Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1945 The U.S. dropped an atomic bomb on Nagasaki. The bombing came three days after the bombing of Hiroshima. About 74,000 people were killed. Japan surrendered August 14.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
That is the greatest fallacy, the wisdom of old men. They do not grow wise. They grow careful. --- Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961)
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A couple, both 60 years old, were celebrating their 40 years of marriage. During the celebration a fairy appeared! "Because you have been such a loving couple all those years, I would like to give you each one wish." The wife quickly chimed in, "I want to travel around the world." The fairy waved her wand and, POOF! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand and, POOF! He was 90.
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Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying, "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor besides the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him and bashing their teeth out on the counter."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Lorie Ann Hill, 49, in Wagoner, Oklahoma Oklahoma teacher, who turned up drunk and without pants Don't worry about forgetting your homework; this teacher forgot her pants, witnesses said. Oklahoma schoolteacher Lorie Ann Hill, 49, was allegedly spotted drunk and without pants on her first day of work at Wagoner High School Monday, Fox 23 reported. “She was found in a room kind of disoriented,” Police Chief Bob Haley told Tulsa World. “By the time we got there she was in a room and wearing shorts.” Hill was hired by the school this year for a special education position, according to the Muskogee Phoenix. She allegedly admitted to drinking vodka before coming to work, and was charged with public intoxication. Classes do not start in Wagoner until Thursday. Tech Support Pits From: Bree Re: Could a spreadsheet be stretched over two monitors? Dear Webby, My Excel spreadsheet is getting too wide for one monitor. Would it work if it is spread over two monitors? I have a real monitor on my desktop, not a laptop. Bree Dear Bree Yes, that works fine, as long as both monitors are the same size. If they are different sizes, the spreadsheet rows don't line up and will drive you nuts. Until you get a second monitor, try holding down CTRL and scrolling the mouse wheel to reduce the zoom. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Solar Lights For Indoor Lighting I would like to submit the following tip to your newsletters. Maybe it will help some folks! There was a recent tip in the Dollar Stretcher newsletter about using a solar yard lamp during a thunderstorm. I can take that one step further. When I lived with two roommates, we had little extra spending money. We were always looking for ways to save a buck or two. Electricity was one area where we thought we had done enough, but we were wrong! During a trip to a local hardware store to pick up some nails, we noticed that there were two types of solar yard lamps available - fixed (on a spike or stake), or hanging (from a hook, sometimes connected to a stake). We saw that it was only $20 for a three-pack of solar lamps (I've since seen four packs for the same price, on sale). We bought two packs of them and six of those pretty plant hangers that people sometimes use for their hanging plants (the ones that look like pretty shelf brackets, but with hooks). When we got home, we mounted the plant hangers over or next to four windows in our house and put the solar lamps on them. Then, we hung the other two on the house, next to the front and back doors. In the late afternoon or early evening, we would open up the blinds to allow the sunlight to "charge" the indoor lights. The outdoor lights took care of themselves. At night, we had free household lighting that would last until sunrise if we'd charged them long enough! We kept a piece of nice material in rooms that we needed to sleep in, in order to cover the lights when it was time to go to sleep. The day after we started doing this, we had a neighbor call us to let us know that we'd left both our porch lights on overnight. We asked if it had disturbed her. "No," she said, "I was just worried about your electric bill. Actually, I felt safer when I came home from work and they were on, because I could see to put my key into the lock!" "Well," said my roommate, "You'll feel safer every night then, because we're leaving them on from now on. In fact, we can't turn them off! They're solar lamps and the power is free!" I hope that this tip is useful to all of you and to your readers. Thanks, Miss Elisha Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Here is a delightful old classic: Many many years ago when I was twenty three, I got married to a widow who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, and soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law And changed my very life. My daughter was my mother, For she was my father's wife. To complicate the matters worse, Although it brought me joy, I soon became the father Of a bouncing baby boy. My little baby then became A brother-in-law to dad. And so became my uncle, Though it made me very sad. For if he was my uncle, Then that also made him brother To the widow's grown-up daughter Who, of course, was my step-mother. Father's wife then had a son, Who kept them on the run. And he became my grandson, For he was my daughter's son. My wife is now my mother's mother And it makes me blue. Because, although she is my wife, She is my grandma too. If my wife is my grandmother, Then I am her grandchild. And every time I think of it, It simply drives me wild. For now I have become The strangest case you ever saw. As the husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.
Another classic: By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came into the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."

» Puppy Power

Today in 
1678 American Indians sold the Bronx to Jonas Bronck for 
 400 beads. 
1790 The Columbia returned to Boston Harbor after a three 
 year voyage. It was the first ship to carry the American 
 flag around the world. 
1831 The first American steam locomotive began its first 
 trip between Schenectady and Albany, NY. 
1854 "Walden" was published by Henry David Thoreau. 
1859 The escalator was patented by Nathan Ames. 
1892 Thomas Edison received a patent for a two-way telegraph. 
1910 A.J. Fisher received a patent for the electric 
 washing machine. 
1930 Betty Boop had her beginning in "Dizzy Dishes" created 
 by Max Fleischer. 
1936 Jesse Owens won his fourth gold medal at the Berlin 
 Olympics. He was the first American to win four medals 
 in one Olympics. 
1942 Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested Britain. He was not 
 released until 1944. 
1944 The Forest Service and Wartime Advertising Council 
 created "Smokey the Bear." 
1945 The U.S. dropped an atomic bomb on Nagasaki. 
 The bombing came three days after the bombing of Hiroshima. 
 About 74,000 people were killed. Japan surrendered August 14. 
1945 The first network television broadcast occurred in 
 Washington, DC. The program announced the bombing of 
 Nagasaki, Japan. 
1965 Singapore proclaimed its independence from the Malaysian 
 Federation. 
1973 The U.S. Senate committee investigating the Watergate 
 affair filed suit against President Richard Nixon. 
1974 U.S. President Richard Nixon formally resigned. 
 Gerald R. Ford took his place, and became the 38th president 
 of the U.S. 
1975 The New Orleans Superdome as officially opened when the 
 Saints played the Houston Oilers in exhibition football. 
 The new Superdome cost $163 million to build. 
1988 Wayne Gretzky (Edmonton Oilers) was traded. The trade 
 was at Gretzky's request. He was sent to the Los Angeles Kings. 
1996 Boris Yeltsin was sworn in as president of Russia for 
 the second time. 
1999 Russian President Boris Yeltsin fired Prime Minister 
 Sergei Stepashin and his entire cabinet for the fourth 
 time in 17 months. 
2001 U.S. President George W. Bush announced he would 
 support federal funding for limited medical research 
 on embryonic stem cells. 
2004 Trump Hotel and Casion Resorts announced plans to 
 file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.
2014  smiled.


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How to stop Outlook Express from duplicating mails 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, August 8.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Oregon Dope, who falls into the river while masturbating, and needs to be rescued. Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1945 During World War II, the Soviet Union declared war on Japan. After Hiroshima.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995)
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>From Ann New to town, I was eager to meet people and make friends. So one day I struck up a conversation with the only other woman in the gym. Pointing to two men playing racquetball in a nearby court, I said to her, "There's my husband." Then I added, "The thin one--not the fat one." After a slightly uncomfortable silence she replied, "And that's my husband - the fat one."
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The tourist in London climbed into a cab and noticed by the license that his cab driver's name was "Winston Churchill." Trying to make conversation, he said, "I see your name is Winston Churchill." The driver simply said, "Yep. That's my moniker." The passenger, not willing to give up yet on some banter said, "That's a pretty famous name." The driver responded with: "As well it should be too. I've been driving a cab here for over forty years."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ernest Kirk, 31, Oregon City Oregon dope falls into the river while masturbating Ernest Michael Kirk was charged with public indecency and harassment. OREGON CITY POLICE DEPT. Ernest Michael Kirk was charged with public indecency and harassment. A naked and drunk Oregon man fell into a river while masturbating in a park in broad daylight, authorities said. Ernest Michael Kirk, 31, needed to be rescued after falling into the Willamette River while gratifying himself in Clackamette Park in Oregon City, according to the Portland Tribune. Cops received a phone call shortly after 2 p.m. Saturday and when they arrived at the scene they caught Kirk in the act, so to speak, the newspaper reported. Kirk, who was on a cliff bank just a few feet from the water, reportedly continued to masturbate with authorities at the scene. Apparently drunk and disoriented, he soon fell in the water and needed to be rescued. After a stay in the hospital, Kirk was charged with public indecency and harassment, and was hit with a parole violation. Cops say they believe he may have been using drugs, according to the Oregonian. Tech Support Pits From: Dianne Re: How do I stop Outlook Express from duplicating mails? Dear Webby, All of my mails get duplicated. What's up with that? How do I stop that nonsense? Dianne Dear Dianne Do a Search for Pop3uidl.dbx and delete it. After that you will get a whole bunch of mail the nect time you check it, but after that is should be OK. You might also consider upgrading to a more modern email program like Thunderbird or Windows Live Mail. Outlook Express is too easy for hackers to infect, as you have noticed. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Don't Try to Burn Poison Oak I know what NOT to do. Don't try to burn it. I had a friend try this and she got very sick from inhaling the fumes. I suggest wearing disposable gloves so the oil isn't transferred to anything else. Good luck! By Susan E. from Peoria, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grand-mother's meatloaf for dinner tonight and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right, because it's the one you gave me. But, it just didn't come out right and I'm so upset. I wanted this to be so special for George, because he loves meatloaf. What could have gone wrong"? Her mother replied soothing-ly, "Well, dear, let's go through the recipe. You read it out loud, and tell me exactly what you did at each step and to-gether we'll figure it out." "Okay," the bride sniffled. "Well, it starts out, 'Take fifty cents worth of ground beef.'
One day a man called the church office. He said, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?" The secretary thought she heard what he said, but said, "I'm sorry, who?" The caller repeated, "Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?" She said, "Well, if you mean the preacher, then you may refer to him as 'Pastor,' or 'Brother,' but I prefer that you not refer to him as the 'head hog at the trough'!" To this the man replied, "Well, I was planning on giving $100,000 to the building fund...." To this the secretary quickly responded "Hang on, I think the big fat pig just waddled in!"

» Puppy Power

Today in 
1356 Edward "the Black Prince" began a raid north from Aquitaine. 
1588 The Spanish Armada was defeated by the English fleet 
 ending an invasion attempt. 
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte set sail for St. Helena, in the 
 South Atlantic. The remainder of his life was spent there 
 in exile. 
1844 After the killing of Joseph Smith, Bringham Young was 
 chosen to lead the Mormons. 
1876 Thomas Edison received a patent for the mimeograph. 
 The mimeograph was a "method of preparing autographic 
 stencils for printing." 
1899 The refrigerator was patented by A.T. Marshall. 
1940 The German Luftwaffe began a series of daylight air 
 raids on Great Britain. 
1945 During World War II, the Soviet Union declared war 
 on Japan. After Hiroshima.
1953 The U.S. and South Korea initiated a mutual security pact. 
1956 Japan launched an oil tanker that was 780 feet long and 
 weighed 84,730 tons. It was the largest oil tanker in the 
 world. 
1966 Michael DeBakey became the first surgeon to install an 
 artificial heart pump in a patient. 
1974 U.S. President Nixon announced that he would resign 
 the following day. 
1978 The U.S. launched Pioneer Venus II, which carried 
 scientific probes to study the atmosphere of Venus. 
1988 It was announced that a cease-fire between Iraq 
 and Iran had begun. 
1990 American forces began positioning in Saudia Arabia. 
1994 The first road link between Israel and Jordan opened. 
1994 Representatives from China and Taiwan signed a 
 cooperation agreement. 
2000 The submarine H.L. Hunley was raised from ocean bottom 
 after 136 years. The sub had been lost during an attack on 
 the U.S.S. Housatonic in 1864. The Hunley was the first 
 submarine in history to sink a warship.
2014  smiled.


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Check connection speed 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, August 7

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Iowa man jailed for "accidentally" exposing himself through window beside parking lot Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1960 The Cuban Catholic Church condemned the rise of communism in Cuba. Fidel Castro then banned all religious TV and radio broadcasts.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children. --- King Edward VIII Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye. --- Miss Piggy
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An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed a wrinkled up old lady shuffled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady walked between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your Mother."
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Wacky laws: Louisiana: It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault." New Mexico: Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public. Oklahoma: Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog. Pennsylvania: No man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife. A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling. Washington: All lollipops and guns are banned. A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the city limits and telephone the chief of police as he is entering the town.
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Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dustin Hills, 35, Iowa City, Iowa Iowa man jailed for "accidentally" exposing himself through window beside parking lot In an apparent attempt to explain why a woman twice spotted him pleasuring himself in his apartment window, an Iowa man told cops that the indecent exposure was an accident, adding that he was “on an adult website at the time of the second incident.” Despite that explanation, Dustin Hills, 35, was arrested last night and booked into the Johnson County jail, where he remains locked up on a serious misdemeanor charge. A female victim told cops that, on two separate occasions last month, she was “outside in a parking lot” when she “noticed a man displaying his penis and pleasuring himself while standing in a nearby apartment window.” The man hid when she yelled at him, the woman reported. When questioned by investigators, Hills, seen in the mug shot, “admitted to accidentally displaying his erect penis to others outside” his Iowa City home, according to a criminal complaint. Hills added that he was “on an adult website” when the woman spotted him the second time. Tech Support Pits From: Noella Re: Did Chrome slow down? Dear Webby, It could be her ISP too. Remember I wrote about mine a few weeks ago. I'd done everything I could think of. Finally I called my ISP. I'd been paying for 12 mbps since November 2011, but when Repair checked, they found I was only getting 3 mpbs. They had to manually hook me up to a line that would handle the faster speed, plus I got a fairly nice refund. Noella Dear Noella Right! You can test your speed at http://www.speedtest.net Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freeze Ground Coffee After trying various methods for storing the large canister of coffee (more thrifty), I settled on freezing it. I noticed the aroma from the un-brewed coffee deteriorated with all the other methods. This way, one doesn't get that sharp smell when opening the container. No need to thaw; just measure, brew, and enjoy! By Cay from Green Cove Springs, FL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

My friend Don, a minor-league umpire, is used to being heckled by fans. But imagine his surprise when he was rushing to umpire an exhibition game at Coors Field in Denver. After a long search for a place to change clothes, Don finally located a room with a neatly lettered sign: "Dressing Room, Umpires Only." As he was about to go in, however, he inspected the sign more closely. Below the printed legend was the same message... written in Braille.
>From Ellen It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me flowers at the office. He told the florist to write "Happy Anniversary, Year Number 2" on the card. I was thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased about the card. It read "Happy Anniversary. You're Number 2."

» Puppy Power

Today in 
1782 George Washington created the Order of the Purple Heart.
1888 Theophilus Van Kannel received a patent for the 
 revolving door. 
1914 Germany invaded France. 
1934 The U.S. Court of Appeals upheld a lower court ruling 
 striking down the government's attempt to ban the 
 controversial James Joyce novel "Ulysses." 
1942 U.S. forces landed at Guadalcanal, marking the start 
 of the first major allied offensive in the Pacific during 
 World War II. 
1947 The balsa wood raft Kon-Tiki, which had carried a 
 six-man crew 4,300 miles across the Pacific Ocean, crashed 
 into a reef in a Polynesian archipelago. 
1959 The U.S. launched Explorer 6, which sent back a picture 
 of the Earth. 
1960 The Cuban Catholic Church condemned the rise of 
 communism in Cuba. Fidel Castro then banned all religious 
 TV and radio broadcasts. 
1964 The U.S. Congress passed the Gulf of Tonkin resolution, 
 which gave President Johnson broad powers in dealing with 
 reported North Vietnamese attacks on U.S. forces. 
1974 French stuntman Philippe Petit walked a tightrope strung 
between the twin towers of New York's World Trade Center. 
1976 Scientists in Pasadena, CA, announced that the Viking 1
 spacecraft had found strong indications of possible life 
 on Mars. 
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered U.S. troops and 
 warplanes to Saudi Arabia to guard against a possible 
 invasion by Iraq. 
2003 In California, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that he 
would run for the office of governor. 
2003 Stephen Geppi bought a 1963 G.I. Joe prototype for $200,000.
2014  smiled.


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Is page loading in Chrome slowing down after a few months? 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, August 6

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to A Florida mom who got drunk in the bar while her kid was alone in the car Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1945 The American B-29 bomber, known as the Enola Gay, dropped the first atomic bomb on an inhabited area. The bomb named "Little Boy" was dropped over the center of Hiroshima, Japan. An estimated 140,000 people were killed. (8:16am Japanese time)
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable. --- John Kenneth Galbraith (1908 - 2006) In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. --- Theodore Roosevelt
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A out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here." "You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the harried waiter. "I can only serve one table at a time."
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The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was inter- viewing a prospective student, "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked. "I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied. "Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the dean much impressed. "No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it."
Thanks to Bill for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
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Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Krastina Yankova Gesheva, 36, ST. PETERSBUR, Floriduh A Florida mom who got drunk in the bar while her kid was alone in the car Police in Florida say a woman faces DUI and child neglect charges after her son was left alone in her Mercedes while she drank at a nearby bar in St. Petersburg. The Tampa Bay Times reports the 8-year-old boy went into Tryst Lounge several times, apparently looking for his mother. St. Petersburg police say when 36-year-old Krastina Yankova Gesheva finally left the bar around 3 a.m. Monday, she backed into two cars. She was visibly impaired when officers arrived. Her blood alcohol level was 0.177, more than twice the legal limit to drive in Florida. The boy, who was sitting in the car, was released to a guardian. Gesheva was released from jail later Monday after posting $10,500 bail. Tech Support Pits From: Darla Re: Did Chrome slow down? Dear Webby, Since you mentioned Chrome today, I have been having problems with unresponsive pages. When I first started using Chrome about 3 months ago, it seemed a lot faster. Now, I'm having problems with pages loading. Is this a common problem ? Thanks, Darla Dear Darla That seems to be more a problem with your computer. Try running CrapCleaner from my ToolBox. It is free. You could also run Defragler. Basic version of that is free too. It is also possible that your computer is hot and slowing down the CPU. However, since page loading is more a modem and hard drive issue, and not a CPU issue, I would check the other things first. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Towel To Speed Dryer Time When putting clothes into the dryer, add one large clean dry towel. This will absorb the wetness and your whole load will dry twenty minutes sooner. I do this with each load, except with dark clothes. You don't want the lint getting on dark clothing. Saves time and energy efficient! Source: I may have read this somewhere in a magazine. By Jackie H. [1] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Two highway patrolmen stopped a guy for speeding on the state highway in Waxahachie, Texas. As they were writing up the ticket, one cop turned to the other and said, "How do you spell Waxahachie?" The other one replied, "I don't know." So the first one said, "Well what are we gong to do? If we spell it wrong, the ticket will get dismissed." The second cop said, "Why don't we just let him go and stop him again when he gets to Waco?"
A 92 year old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. At his follow up visit, the doctor talked to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" The man replied, "Just doing what you said Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'" The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart murmur. Be careful." "Too late!", he replied, "We are getting married next month!"

» Puppy Power

Today in 
1787 At the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia debate 
 began on the first draft of the U.S. Constitution. 
1806 The Holy Roman Empire went out of existence as Emperor 
 Francis II abdicated. 
1825 Bolivia declared independence from Peru. 
1879 The first Australian rules football game to be played 
 at night took place at the Melbourne Cricket Ground. The 
 game was to promote the introduction of electricity to 
 the city of Melbourne. 
1914 Austria-Hungary declared war against Russia. Serbia 
 declared war against Germany. 
1926 Warner Brothers premiered its Vitaphone system in 
 New York. The movie was "Don Juan," starring John Barrymore. 
1945 The American B-29 bomber, known as the Enola Gay, 
 dropped the first atomic bomb on an inhabited area. The 
 bomb named "Little Boy" was dropped over the center of 
 Hiroshima, Japan. An estimated 140,000 people were killed. 
 (8:16am Japanese time) 
1960 Nationalization of U.S. and foreign-owned property 
 in Cuba began. 
1962 Jamaica became an independent dominion within the 
 British Commonwealth. 
1981 Fire fighters in Indianapolis, IN, answered a false 
 alarm. When they returned to their station it was ablaze 
 due to a grease fire. 
1990 The U.N. Security Council ordered a worldwide trade 
 embargo with Iraq. The embargo was to punish Iraq for 
 invading Kuwait. 
1995 Thousands of glowing lanterns were set afloat in rivers 
 in Hiroshima, Japan, on the 50th anniversary of the first 
 atomic bombing. 
1996 NASA announced the discovery of evidence of primitive 
 life on Mars. The evidence came in the form of a meteorite 
 that was found in Antarctica. The meteorite was believed 
 to have come from Mars and contained a fossil. 
1997 Apple Computer and Microsoft agreed to share technology 
 in a deal giving Microsoft a stake in Apple's survival. 
1998 Former White House intern Monica Lewinsky spent 8 1/2 
 hours testifying before a grand jury about her relationship 
 with U.S. President Clinton. 
2014  smiled.


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Is FireFox 31 OK ? 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, August 5

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Russian naked woman, who jumped out of a car, when police wanted to check the driver, and ran down the street. Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1986 It was revealed that artist Andrew Wyeth had secretly created 240 drawings and paintings of his neighbor. The works of Helga Testorf had been created over a 15-year period.
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There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters. --- Alice Thomas Ellis The average person thinks he isn't. --- Father Larry Lorenzoni
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This week in Texas, a fire broke out in a warehouse destroying 2,000 pounds of marijuana. Officials say more than 60 firefighters and 2,000 college students responded to the blaze.
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>From C Not a joke, but well worth the space: There was a young woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. So as she was getting her things "in order," she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. She told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. Everything was in order and the pastor was preparing to leave when the young woman suddenly remembered something very important to her. "There's one more thing," she said excitedly. "What's that?" came the pastor's reply. "This is very important," the young woman continued. "I want to be buried with a fork in my right hand." The pastor stood looking at the young woman, not knowing quite what to say. "That surprises you, doesn't it?" the young woman asked. "Well, to be honest, I'm puzzled by the request," said the pastor. The young woman explained. "My grandmother once told me this story, and from there on out, I have always done so. I have also, always tried to pass along its message to those I love and those who are in need of encouragement." "In all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, I always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, 'Keep your fork.' It was my favorite part because I knew that something better was coming like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. Something wonderful, and with substance! So, I just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and I want them to wonder "What's with the fork?" Then I want you to tell them: "Keep your fork...the best is yet to come." The pastor' s eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the young woman good-bye. He knew this would be one of the last times he would see her before her death. But he also knew that the young woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. She had a better grasp of what heaven would be like than many people twice her age, with twice as much experience and knowledge. She KNEW that something better was coming. At the funeral people were walking by the young woman's casket and they saw the pretty dress she was wearing and the fork placed in her right hand. Over and over, the pastor heard the question "What's with the fork?" And over and over he smiled. During his message, the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the young woman shortly before she died. He also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. The pastor told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either.
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Chineese Waterfall
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Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Russian Mugshot? Cute! Yulia Vorokova, 24, Ufa, south-western Russia Naked woman jumps out of car Police were left standing after stopping a car in a routine check - and a naked woman jumped out and ran off down the road. Two traffic officers stopped the car in Ufa, a city in south-western Russia, as part of a routine documents check. As one officer walked to talk to the driver, the passenger door opened and a young woman, wearing only shoes and socks, leapt out and ran off into oncoming traffic. Unable to follow as cars veered left and right, the police officers could only stand and watch in amazement as she then crossed over to the other side of the road and carried on down the busy street. The woman, later identified as Yulia Vorokova, 24, was eventually caught by police and taken to hospital to undergo drugs and alcohol tests. She also had slight bruising after apparently being hit by one of the cars although it was not going fast of the time. The car's driver was questioned but eventually released without charge after police decided they were not sure exactly what to charge him with over the incident. He declined to say why the woman was naked. Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: Is FireFox 31 OK? Dear Webby, I've received notice that Firefox now has new version 31.0 available for download. You were not enthralled with some of the other versions. Do you have any feelings about the latest version or is it a 'wait and see' before downloading? Peace Frank Dear Frank I briefly checked 31. Very briefly. For now I am going to use Chrome. Sure, Chrome has some bugs too, like closing when ignored for a while, but you can get back all of your open tabs with CTRL SHIFT T. I am still learning tricks, and not in any hurry to go back to FireFox. It seems that Firefox is suffering from terminal bloat. They definitely lost control of memory usage with their silly method of keeping the pages from open tabs in memory. If you are quickly searching a bunch of pages for a certain article or item, soon the memory used by FireFox, as seen in the Windows Task Manager, goes over 1 GB and FireFox really slows down. Then you have to axe and re-start FireFox. Until they stop that nonsense, I am going to boycott FireFox. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Remember Passwords Easily Choose a category that interests you; Premier League Footballers, Wild Flowers or whatever. Find a name for all of the more commonly used letters of the alphabet (Iris for I, Jasmine for J, etc). Your password for any given site will be the name that starts with the same initial letter, plus whatever combination of numbers or other characters you select. I have moved to this method since starting to do online surveys, and it makes it so easy to remember what my password is. If you do need a written key to the names that you picked, though - please don't store it on your desktop! By Verity Pink [13] By far the best method for passwords is Roboform. You can store thousands of passwords on the cloud. Even if you lose your computer, all your passwords are safe. The only password you have to remember is your password to Roboform. When you go to a site, where you have to log in, Roboform presents you with the different user names, that you have used on that site. You select one, and hit Submit. Roboform lets you sync logins on different computers, for example work, home, laptop, etc. If you change or add a login on one machine, the others will automatically sync. You can get the basic version free at http://roboform.com I have used it for about 15 years and it never let me down. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

>From Jack When I picked up my wife from work one afternoon, she seemed irritated. She confessed that the day hadn't gone well, and on top of everything else, a young customer had addressed her as "ma'am." "I'm not that old," she insisted. "I deserve more respect!" She vented the whole way home while hitting the scan button on the radio. Finally I asked, "What are you looking for?" She replied, "The oldies station."
On a family vacation one summer, we crossed Wyoming and noted several historical points of interest. The children were especially interested because they enjoyed the computer game "Oregon Trail," which gives players a taste of the hardships the pioneers endured. We stopped at the famous South Pass to look at the wagon tracks still visible in the dirt. Squinting out over the desolate, wind-swept landscape, my daughter nodded and said grimly, "This is where my oxen always die."

» Gourmet Paper Mache

Today in 
1833 The village of Chicago was incorporated. The population 
 was approximately 250. 
1861 The U.S. federal government levied its first income tax. 
 The tax was 3% of all incomes over $800. The wartime measure 
 was rescinded in 1872. 
1914 Electric traffic lights were installed in Cleveland, Ohio. 
1921 The first play-by-play broadcast of a baseball game was 
 done by Harold Arlin. KDKA Radio in Pittsburgh, PA described 
 the action between the Pirates and Philadelphia. 
1944 Polish insurgents liberated a German labor camp in Warsaw. 
 348 Jewish prisoners were freed. 
1953 During the Korean conflict prisoners were exchanged at 
 Panmunjom. The exchange was labeled Operation Big Switch. 
1963 The Limited Test Ban Treaty was signed by the United 
 States, Britain, and the Soviet Union. The treaty banned 
 nuclear tests in space, underwater, and in the atmosphere. 
1964 U.S. aircraft bombed North Vietnam after North Vietnamese 
 boats attacked U.S. destroyers in the Gulf of Tonkin. 
1969 The Mariner 7, a U.S. space probe, passed by Mars. 
 Photographs and scientific data were sent back to Earth. 
1981 The U.S. federal government started firing striking 
 air traffic controllers. 
1986 It was revealed that artist Andrew Wyeth had secretly 
 created 240 drawings and paintings of his neighbor. The 
 works of Helga Testorf had been created over a 15-year 
 period. 
1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush angrily denounced the 
 Iraqi invasion of Kuwait. 
1991 An investigation was formally launched by Democratic 
 congressional leaders to find out if the release of American 
 hostages was delayed until after the Reagan-Bush presidential 
 election. 
1991 Iraq admitted to misleading U.N. inspectors about 
 secret biological weapons. 
1998 Iraqi President Saddam Hussein began not cooperating 
 with U.N. weapons inspectors. 
1998 Marie Noe of Philadelphia, PA was arrested and charged 
 with first-degree murder, accused of smothering eight of 
 her children to death between 1949 and 1968. Noe later 
 received 20 years' probation. 
2002 The U.S. closed its consulate in Karachi, Pakistan. 
 The consulate was closed after local authorities removed 
 large concrete blocks and reopened the road in front of 
 the building to normal traffic. 
2011 NASA announced that its Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter had 
 captured photographic evidence of possible liquid water on 
 Mars during warm seasons. 
2011 Juno was launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station 
 on a mission to Jupiter. It was the first solar-powered 
 spacecraft to go to Jupiter. Instrumentation and cameras 
 were solar powered, not propulsion.
2014  smiled.


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Positioning of computer 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, August 4

46 Degrees (110 in Olde British Imperial Fahrenhide)
on the West side of the house. I skipped my walk
and mopped the floors instead. The last Chinook had
brought a lot of ash from the forest fires on the
other side of the rockies and some fine sand.
I have no idea where it picked up that sand, but it is
not good for the floors.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a New mexico naked man, who broke into home, had a nap Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1991 The Oceanos, a Greek luxury liner, sank off of South Africa's southeast coast. All of the 402 passengers and 179 crewmembers survived.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better. --- Socratex In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain. --- Pliny the Elder (23 AD - 79 AD)
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Fred, an avid fisherman is returning from a fishing trip with six large size salmon in his creel. Nosy Parker comes along and asks if the man been fishing. "Yes!" replied old Fred. Asked what bait he had been using our hero replied that he had used chewing tobacco. Parker asked how one used chewing tobacco as bait, and Fred replied, "I put the tobacco on the hook in the normal way, cast in the normal way and when the fish strikes I haul back on the line to hook it. When the fish comes up to spit, I hit it on the head with the butt of my rod!
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Thanks to Robert for this story: Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today. A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February & March for their annual service charges on her credit card, & added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank here's the exchange: Family Member:"I am calling to tell you she died in January." Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees & charges still apply." Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections." Citibank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been." Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?" Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!" Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" (I really liked this part!!!!) Citibank: "Excuse me?" Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you the part about her being dead?" Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor." (Duh!) (Supervisor gets on the phone): Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January." Citibank: "The account was never closed, so the late fees and charges still apply." (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!) Family Member: "Do you mean you want to collect from her estate?" Citibank: (Stammering) "Are you her lawyer?" Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?" Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given) After they get the fax: Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help." Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I really don't think she will care." Citibank: "Well, the late fees & charges do still apply." (What is wrong with these people?!?) Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?" Citibank: "Yes, that will help." Family Member: " Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69." Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!" Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Triglav National Park near the town of Bovec, Slovenia
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Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Freddy Shelby, 30, Albuquerque, NM Naked Man Breaks Into Home, Takes Nap A New Mexico man faces charges after authorities say a couple found him naked and sleeping in their bed. Investigators say 30-year-old Freddy Shelby of Albuquerque was arrested Sunday after the homeowners called police to report their unwanted mystery guest. According to a criminal complaint, Shelby broke into the couple's home through a window and grabbed a Sprite from the refrigerator before falling asleep in the master bedroom. Authorities say the homeowners found a disrobed Shelby in a deep sleep. Officers arrived and called to the man, but he slept through it. Authorities say Shelby woke up only after an officer ripped the blankets off him. Shelby told officers he thought he was at his girlfriend's house. He was charged with breaking and entering. Tech Support Pits From: Angela Re: Computer positioning Dear Webby, I have a question about the CPU unit of my desk top. I am rearranging my work/study area and was wondering if it is safe to lay the CPU down on its side and set my printer on top of it gain more space on my computer desk. I do not want to place it on the floor because I have too many animals living in my house and do not fully trust them all to behave with it on the floor. Angela Dear Angela The CPU doesn't care, and the hard drives don't care as long as you don't put it with the front side up or down. The most important consideration is good air flow behind it. Don't shove it into a desk hutch cubbyhole, no matter which way you turn it. Laying flat, with the removable side cover side up, is just fine. That is actually better than standing upright on the floor, where the main air intake at the front bottom sucks in all the dust bunnies and pet hairs off the floor and drastically reduces cooling. Yes, I know it's stupid, but they don't want computers to last forever. Try to lay it flat on the left rear corner of your desk, with the former bottom pointing away from you. That way it sucks fresh air from the left of the desk. Especially in summer, cooling of the computer is very important. While you are moving it, pop the side cover open and vacuum it out. If you are scared of large herds of dust bunnies, get somebody else to do it, but don't neglect that chore! Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Deodorant To Deter Nesting Birds We know that most birds are very sensitive to smell and odors, remember the old "canary in the coal mines" story? I have found that if you put up a "Stick-Up" deodorant disk in the corners of your patio, birds will attempt to visit the corner but they will quickly fly away. I replace them once each spring. Works especially well with nesting barn swallows! By Jeanette Jacobs [4] Canaries were used because they were cheap. When the Carbon monoxide or lack of Oxygen killed them in their cages on the floor, and they stopped chirping, then it was time to get out fast, "RFN" in Miner's lingo. They saved countless lives in the coal mines all over the world. Have Fun! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Sandie for this story: I had purchased a talking metronome while I was attending a conference in New York for music teachers. Before my son and I boarded our flight home, I hefted my carry-on bag onto the security check conveyor belt. The guard's eyes widened as he watched the monitor. He asked what I had in the bag, then slowly pulled out the six-by-three-inch black box covered with dials and switches. Other travelers, sensing trouble, vacated the area. "A metronome," I replied weakly, as my son cringed in embarrassment. "It's a talking metronome," I insisted. "Look, I'll show you." I took the box and flipped a switch, realizing that I had no idea how it worked. "One, two, three, four," it said. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. As we gathered our belongings, my son whispered, "Aren't you glad it didn't go 'four, three, two, one'"?
The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes when she needed to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right. A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up. A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, "Hi, Grandma, you're Looking good! How are they treating you?" Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew...... "Dumb Bastids won't let me fart!"

» Castles

Today in 
1735 Freedom of the press was established with an acquittal 
 of John Peter Zenger, a writer of the New York Weekly Journal 
 who had been charged with seditious libel by the royal 
 governor of New York. The jury said that "the truth is 
 not libelous." 
1753 George Washington became a Master Mason. 
1790 The Revenue Cutter Service was formed. This U.S. 
 naval task force was the beginning of the U.S. Coast Guard. 
1914 Britain declared war on Germany in World War I. The U.S. 
 proclaimed its neutrality. 
1944 Nazi police raided a house in Amsterdam and arrested 
 eight people. Anne Frank, a teenager at the time, was one 
 of the people arrested. Her diary would be published after 
 her death.
1954 The uranium rush began in Saskatchewan, Canada. 
1956 William Herz became the first person to race a motorcycle 
 over 200 miles per hour. He was clocked at 210 mph. 
1957 Florence Chadwick set a world record by swimming the 
 English Channel in 6 hours and 7 minutes. 
1958 The first potato flake plant was completed in Grand Forks, ND. 
1972 Arthur Bremer was found guilty of shooting George Wallace, 
 the governor of Alabama. Bremer was sentenced to 63 years in prison. 
1977 U.S. President Carter signed the measure that established 
 the Department of Energy. 
1984 Upper Volta, an African republic, changed its name to Burkina Faso. 
1987 The Fairness Doctrine was rescinded by the Federal 
 Communications Commission. The doctrine had required that radio and 
 TV stations present controversial issues in a balanced fashion. 
1990 The European Community imposed an embargo on oil from Iraq 
 and Kuwait. This was done to protest the Iraqi invasion of the 
 oil-rich Kuwait. 
1991 The Oceanos, a Greek luxury liner, sank off of South 
 Africa's southeast coast. All of the 402 passengers and 179 
 crewmembers survived. 
1997 Teamsters began a 15-day strike against UPS (United Parcel 
 Service). The strikers eventually won an increase in full-time 
 positions and defeated a proposed reorganization of the 
 company's pension plan. 
2009 North Korean leader Kim Jong-il pardoned two American 
 journalists, who had been arrested and imprisoned for illegal 
 entry earlier in the year. 
2014  smiled.


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Wired or wireless keyboard and mouse? 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, August 3

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to women in Lake Charles, LA, who left their kids alone in cars. Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1992 The U.S. Senate voted to restrict and eventually end the testing of nuclear weapons. They did not want the US to be more powerful than Mexico.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you. --- Rita Mae Brown Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back in the same box. --- Italian Proverb "I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." --- Robert McCloskey
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>From Karen I was on the phone trying to set up a furniture delivery. "If you would like to arrange a delivery date, please press one," the automated voice prompted me. "If you would like to confirm delivery, please press two." At that moment my three-year-old daughter let out an ear-piercing shriek. "I'm sorry," the automated voice said, "that is not a valid response."
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>From Enrica I KNOW my company has made a big effort to be family friendly, but I was baffled when I read this holiday announcement posted on the bulletin board: "All employees are invited to the annual Family Day and BBQ party on August 4. All children under the age of ten will receive a gift from the CEO. Employees who have no children may bring grandchildren."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
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Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Princess Marks, 25, of Lake Charles, Louisiana Woman abandoned kids in car so she could perform oral sex on boyfriend in his car CALCASIEU PARISH SHERIFF'S OFFICE Princess Marks, 25, of Lake Charles, La., was arrested after she allegedly left two young children alone in her car while she performed oral sex on a boyfriend. Two Louisiana women were arrested in separate incidents on the same day for abandoning their children in cars — so they could partake in the joys of shopping and fellatio. Princess Marks, 25, of Lake Charles, left her two young children, ages 5 and 7, in an SUV so she could perform oral sex on her boyfriend about 12:40 a.m. Friday, authorities said. "Both of them were crying hysterically," Officer Kim Myers the Calcasieu Parish Sheriff's Office told the Daily News. "While the deputies were trying to calm the children down, Princess walked up about 15 minutes later." At that point, she admitted she was on the other side of the parking lot in her boyfriend's car performing oral sex, authorities said. Marks was arrested, charged with child desertion and released on a $5,000 bond. Deputies from Calcasieu Parish Sheriff's Office learned of the incident when a concerned citizen walked by the car and called the police. The SUV's windows were down. The children were placed in the care of family members. ------------- A 7 year old "crying hysterically" ? I can envision them fighting or singing like they were in the shower, but "crying hysterically" seems a bit exaggerated, unless both kids are seriously retarded. ========================= While we are in Lake Charles, LA... Later that day, about 2:30 p.m., Calcasieu Parish Sheriff's Office deputies responded to a similar call — only this time, the car was hot. Faith D. LaFleur, 26, Lake Charles left 3 children in her car in 130 degree-heat while she shopped. "A woman left three babies in a car at the Prien Lake Mall. When we did a test of the temperature, it reached 130 degrees in the car," Myers said. Faith D. LaFleur, 26, also from Lake Charles, allegedly admitted she abandoned her three children — an 11-month-old, a 5-year-old and 2-year-old — so she could go shopping. Two of the children were strapped in child seats while the other played with the keys in the ignition. An ambulance was called on scene and the children were found to be sweaty, dirty and hungry. LaFleur was arrested and charged with three counts of cruelty to a juvenile. Her bond was set at $100,000. These incidents follow several other high-profile cases of parents abandoning their children in cars — sometimes with fatal consequences. Tech Support Pits From: Kim Re: Wired or wireless keyboard and mouse Dear Webby, What is better, a wired keyboard and mouse, or a wireless combo? Kim Dear Kim Dear Kim That depends on your priorites. If you are a neat freak and the sight of the cables causes you trauma and bad dreams, then spend the extra money on a wireless combo. If faster performance and never having to pause to change batteries in the middle of an important conference call, is more important, then go for the old fashioned wired keyboard and mouse. Some manufacturers claim that their wireless combos are fast enough. That may be true for SOME users, but is not true when working at my speed. I also find it very disruptive, having to stop at the most inopportune times, to change the silly batteries. I have used wireless mice and keyboards, but nowadaus I save the $50 - $100 difference and stay with a wired keyboard and mouse. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Flyswatters as a Drain Filter Don't throw away old flyswatters. They are great drain filters for the bathtub or sink in a pinch. By Robyn [364] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice. "What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday?" she asked. "First I'd have to know more about the child," the psychologist hedged. The woman took a deep breath. "He's very bright and quick witted and exceptionally advanced for his age," she said. "He has good coordination, expresses himself very well..." "Oh, I see," the psychologist said, "It's YOUR child!"
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher

» Funny Icebergs

Today in 
1492 Christopher Columbus left Palos, Spain with three ships. 
 The voyage would lead him to what is now known as the 
 Americas. He reached the Bahamas on October 12. 
1900 Firestone Tire & Rubber Co. was founded. 
1914 World War I began when Britain declared war on Germany. 
1933 The Mickey Mouse Watch was introduced for the price of 
 $2.75. 
1936 The U.S. State Department advised Americans to leave Spain 
 due to the Spanish Civil War. 
1936 Jesse Owens won the first of his four Olympic gold medals. 
1943 Gen. George S. Patton verbally abused and slapped a 
 private. Later, Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower ordered him to 
 apologize for the incident. 
1956 Bedloe's Island had its name changed to Liberty Island. 
1958 The Nautilus became the first vessel to cross the 
 North Pole underwater.
1979 "More American Graffiti" was released. 
1981 U.S. traffic controllers with PATCO, the Professional 
 Air Traffic Controllers Organization, went on strike. 
 They were fired just as U.S. President Reagan had warned. 
1985 Mail service returned to a nudist colony in Paradise 
 Lake, FL. Residents promised that they'd wear clothes or 
 stay out of sight when the mailperson came to deliver. 
1988 The Soviet Union released Mathias Rust. He had been 
 taken into custody on May 28, 1987 for landing a plane 
 in Moscow's Red Square. 
1989 Hashemi Rafsanjani was sworn in as the president of Iran. 
1990 Thousands of Iraqi troops pushed within a few miles 
 of the border of Saudi Arabia. This heightened world 
 concerns that the invasion of Kuwait could spread. 
1992 The U.S. Senate voted to restrict and eventually end 
 the testing of nuclear weapons. They did not want the US 
 to be more powerful than Mexico.
1992 Russia and Ukraine agreed to put the Black Sea Fleet 
 under joint command. The agreement was to last for three 
 years. 
1995 Eyad Ismoil was flown from Jordan to the U.S. to face 
 charges that he had driven the van that blew up in New 
 York's World Trade Center. 
2004 In New York, the Statue of Liberty re-opened to the 
 public. The site had been closed since the terrorist 
 attacks on the U.S. on September 11, 2001. 
2004 NASA launched the spacecraft Messenger. The 6 1/2 
 year journey was planned to arrive at the planet Mercury 
 in March 2011. 
2009 Bolivia became the first South American country to 
 declare the right of indigenous people to govern themselves. 

2014  smiled.


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Does Google Chrome have Session Restore? 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, July 29.

Today I have the final check-up after the cataract 
operation, and tomorrow I am scheduled for injections 
into my eyeballs, IF health care pays for that, even
though I am 65. If they want $5,000 or a significant 
portion of that, I'll have to pass.
Either way, Thursday to Saturday there most likely
won't be any newsletters.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a South Carolina woman who stabbed her roommate for refusing to stop listening to the Eagles Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2005 Astronomers announced that they had discovered a new planet (Xena) larger than Pluto in orbit around the sun.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy. --- Henry Kissinger (1923 - ) Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
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On a Cathay Pacific 747 in Taipei, the following announcement was heard over the cabin PA system: "Ladies and gentlemen, we are overbooked and are offering anyone $1,000 plus a seat on the next flight in exchange for their seat on this flight." After a short pause, the offer was repeated with the amendment that it did not apply to the crew assigned to the flight.
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A little boy was roughhousing with his dog. His mother said to him, "Now, Peter, I know you love Wowser, but you're loving him too much. How would you feel if someone huge picked you up and squeezed you so hard you couldn't breathe?" The boy thought a moment and then said, "I guess I'd feel like it was my birthday and Aunt Doreen was here!"
Click on the picture for the large version Prunerov, CZ, coal fired power plant in Czech Republic.
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Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Vernett Bader, North Charleston, SC South Carolina, 54, woman who stabbed her roommate for refusing to stop listening to the Eagles Police in South Carolina arrested a North Charleston woman Monday night after she allegedly stabbed her roommate multiple times for refusing to stop playing music by the classic rock band The Eagles. According to the official report, Vernett Bader, 54, became irritated with her 64-year-old roommate (and one-time boyfriend) after he rejected her pleas to turn off the Eagles and told her to "shut up." Bader then entered the kitchen and grabbed a serrated knife, which she subsequently used to stab her roommate several times in the arm, hand, and elbow. The roommate and his brother managed to wrestle the knife away from Bader, but she quickly retrieved another knife from the kitchen. All three were intoxicated at the time, per the report. It's unclear which of the band's songs drove Bader over the edge, but police have narrowed down the possible suspects to "Witchy Woman," "Take It Easy," "Peaceful Easy Feeling," "Take It to the Limit," "One of These Nights," "Tequila Sunrise," and "Hotel California" on repeat. Bader confessed to the crime, but claimed it was an act of self-defense to counter her roommate's choking. Investigators say Bader did not have any visible marks on her neck. Police charged Bader with criminal domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature and she was booked into the Charleston County jail, where she remained held as of this afternoon. Tech Support Pits From: Chris Re: Does Chrome have a Session restore? Dear Webby, I tried Chrome after you suggested it. It is indeed a lot faster than FireFox. However, it sure seems to be missing some ameninties. It is way too easy to accidentally closing it. For example, if you need to see the HTML of a page, it's CTRL U, just like in Firefox. So far so good. However, when you want to close the Code View with ALT F4, just like in FireFox, then you close Chrome and all your open tabs are GONE. VERRRY BARRRBARRRIC! I learned the hard way that I have to pay attention and close the Code View with CTRL F4 instead. When absentminded habit takes over, Chrome shuts down and forgets all the tabs. Is there some way to do a Session Restore in Chrome? Thanks Chris Dear Chris I agree that some parts of Chrome are still incompetent. Same as with Gmail, some snooty yuppies decide what is good for you. What works some of the time is to hit CTRL SHIFT T a few seconds after Chrome re-opens, and restore closed tabs. You can hit the 3 bars at the right top, Settings and change the ON STARTUP choice to "Continue where I left off" It helps most of the time, but is a bit erratic. There is a third party extension called Session Buddy, that seems to be very popular for saving your sessions. You can get it free from Session Buddy Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stopping the Burn from Spicy Food If you cook something that is very hot and spicy, I suggest that you serve it with some milk to drink with the meal. Milk products help stop the burn left in your mouth from hot, spicy food. Also, you could have ice cream or something like that for dessert! By Robin from Washington, IA Better yet is some bread. A lot of people have a lactose intolerance and can't drink milk, but even people with gluten allergies can take a bit of bread. Most of the gluten is in the crust, but it is the soft inner part, that sponges the hot stuff off the tongue. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

For best results, read this one out loud! "Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company." "Would you spell that, please?" "Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you." The operator pauses. "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."
When I was younger, I believed the line was "Lead a snot into temptation." I thought I was praying for my little sister to get into trouble. ------ When my older brother was very young, he always walked up to the church altar with my mother when she took communion. On one occasion, he tugged at her arm and asked, "What does the priest say when he gives you the bread?" Mom whispered something in his ear. Imagine his shock many years later when he learned that the priest doesn't say, "Be quiet until you get to your seat."

» Funny Icebergs

Today in 
1588 The English defeated the Spanish Armada in the Battle 
 of Gravelines. 
1754 The first international boxing match was held. The 
 25-minute match was won when Jack Slack of Britain knocked 
 out Jean Petit from France. 
1914 The first transcontinental telephone service was 
 inaugurated when two people held a conversation between 
 New York, NY and San Francisco, CA. 
1940 John Sigmund of St. Louis, MO, completed a 292-mile 
 swim down the Mississippi River. The swim from St. Louis 
 to Caruthersville, MO took him 89 hours and 48 minutes. 
1957 The International Atomic Energy Agency was established. 
1958 The National Aeronautics and Space Administration 
 (NASA) was authorized by the U.S. Congress. 
1968 Pope Paul VI reaffirmed the Roman Catholic Church's 
 stance against artificial methods of birth control. 
1975 OAS (Organization of American States) members voted 
 to lift collective sanctions against Cuba. The U.S. 
 government welcomed the action and announced its intention 
 to open serious discussions with Cuba on normalization. 
1981 England's Prince Charles and Lady Diana Spencer were 
 married. 
1985 General Motors announced that Spring Hill, TN, would 
 be the home of the Saturn automobile assembly plant. 
1993 The Israeli Supreme Court acquitted retired Ohio 
 autoworker John Demjanjuk of being Nazi death camp guard 
 "Ivan the Terrible." His death sentence was thrown out 
 and he was set free. 
1997 Minamata Bay in Japan was declared free of mercury 
 40 years after contaminated food fish were blamed for 
 deaths and birth defects. 
1998 The United Auto Workers union ended a 54-day strike 
 against General Motors. The strike caused $2.8 billion 
 in lost revenues. 
2005 Astronomers announced that they had discovered a 
 new planet (Xena) larger than Pluto in orbit around the sun.
2014  smiled.


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Has Firefox gone bad? 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, July 28.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a NY Woman, who trashed salon over bad hairdo Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1866 - The metric system was legalized by the U.S. Congress for the standardization of weights and measures throughout the United States. Most states still don't teach it. 1945 - A U.S. Army bomber crashed into the 79th floor of New York City's Empire State Building. 14 people were killed and 26 were injured.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him. --- Thomas Szasz,
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Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?" "Yeah," says the other cowboy. "Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction." Just then the Indian raises his head and says: "White Ford Pick-Up, 4 people in front, a dozen in the back, big party" "Wow, you can tell all that by listening to the ground ?" "Nah, I fell off the truck"
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A young man said to his girlfriend's father, "I realize that this is only a formality, but would you mind me marrying your daughter?" "Who says it's ONLY A FORMALITY?" roared the father angrily. "Her obstetrician and her lawyer!" replied the young man.
Click on the picture for the large version Temelin town and powerplant, color overlaid with Infrared picture. Look at the heat of the town compared to the warm power plant chimneys. And note the clean, but warm air from the chimneys. They take air from ground level and blow it through huge radiators to cool the used steam from the powerplant. What they blow out at the top is simply warm air. No CO2 or pollutants of any kind added.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Rachel Meyers, 26, New York City, NY Woman trashed salon over bad hairdo Incensed over an allegedly botched hairdo, a New York City woman tore up a Manhattan salon, throwing chairs, hair dryers, and assorted beauty products in a rampage that ended with her in handcuffs, according to investigators. Rachel Meyers, 26, was arrested Friday afternoon following the ruckus at the Century 27 Beauty Salon on Beaver Street in the financial district. Meyers, a Manhattan resident, was charged with five misdemeanors, including assault, harassment, and criminal possession of a weapon. During her meltdown, Meyers threw a curling iron stand at another patron, according to a criminal complaint sworn by Officer Robert Rastetter. The stand struck the 52-year-old victim, “causing a laceration, bruising, and substantial pain in her knee,” Rastetter noted. Meyers, pictured above, reportedly quarreled with stylists over treatment that left her hair in knots. Meyers is next due in Manhattan Criminal Court on September 10. Tech Support Pits From: Amanda Re: Has Firefox gone bad? Dear Webby, Is it just my machine, or is the current FireFox a slow dud, that keeps bunging up? I have to keep dumping it with the task manager and restarting it all the time. Is there another browser, that you would recommend? Thanks Amanda Dear Amanda Yes, the current version is indeed a dud. So was the previous one. You would have to go back about five versions to get a fast one. Currently FireFox can not be recommended any more. Maybe they will recover some day. Nobody knows. You can try Google Chrome. It is very fast and does not bung up. However, Chrome takes a bit of getting used to. Chrome does not have a big, bulky top. You can set HotKeys to open things like RoboForm. I set CTRL R for RoboForm. Like I said, it takes some getting used to, but unlike Windows 7 and 8, their stuff makes sense. Not having a whole window-wide bar for Roboform shaves half an inch or more off the top bars when not needed, and goes away after use. The color rendering seems to be more crisp and the fonts are nice and sharp, just as good as Safari. Safari is the Mac browser. It works on Windows machines, but is rather primitive compared to FireFox, Internet Explorer, Opera and Chrome. Safari is still the browser of choice for reading eBooks or long User Agreements, but few Windows users use Safari for anything else. Internet Explorer has security issues and does not mesh with a lot of programs, and is rather slow. Opera is not free any more and crashes ocasionally. So, in summary, currently Chrome is the best browser. Take a bit of time getting used to it. It's not rocket science and almost all of it you'll figure out without clicking on help. For example, you can "Show the Bookmarks Bar", and drag the little icon from the left of the address bar onto it. It is called "favicon". You can cut the sample bookmark, that they got in it. The Bookmarks Bar has a folder to get started. Rename that to F1 or F and drag favicons onto it. Make more topical folders for different topics and keep the bar from getting too crowded. It is actually quite neat once you get used to it. And it is fast! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Natural Ideas for Ant Control My neighbor had a huge pile of cement ants. She used a mix of 50/50 baking soda and powered sugar. They were gone the next day. I thought the sugar would attract them but it worked. I have used soapy water as well. Ants don't like peppermint either, use oil not candy. By roberta paige [1] Cinnamon works quite well too, and corn starch, also cement, lime (construction, not the fruit), and probably a lot of other fine ground materials. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A FARM WAS SOLD to some city folks. The old farmer next door was out one day and saw the new neighbor planting in his garden. The farmer watched as the man would dig a hole, set a tomato plant and pour in a shot of whiskey. The farmer couldn’t help but ask what he was planting. “Stewed tomatoes,” was the reply.
Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I get under the bed, I think there's somebody on top of it. Top, under, top, under ... you gotta help me, I'm going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for two years," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "I'll sleep on it," said Shakey. Six months later the doctor met Shakey on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. "For a hundred buck's a visit? A bartender cured me for ten dollars." "Is that so! How?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Nobody under there now."

» Butchart Gardens

Today in 
1821 - Peru declared its independence from Spain. 
1866 - The metric system was legalized by the U.S. Congress
 for the standardization of weights and measures throughout 
 the United States. Most states still don't teach it.
1914 - World War I officially began when Austria-Hungary 
 declared war on Serbia, a state of the empire, for not 
 handing over the assassin of the crown prince and his wife, 
 and England decided to side with far away Serbia. Then
 Russia also joined England.
1932 - Federal troops forcibly dispersed the "Bonus Army" 
 of World War I veterans who had gathered in Washington, DC. 
 They were demanding money they were not scheduled to 
 receive until 1945. 
1942 - L.A. Thatcher received a patent for a coin-operated 
 mailbox. The device stamped envelopes when money was 
 inserted. 
1945 - A U.S. Army bomber crashed into the 79th floor of 
 New York City's Empire State Building. 14 people were 
 killed and 26 were injured. 
1965 - U.S. President Johnson announced he was increasing 
 the number of American troops in South Vietnam from 
 75,000 to 125,000. 
1982 - San Francisco, CA, became the first city in the U.S. 
 to ban handguns. 
1994 - Kenny Rogers (Texas Rangers) pitched the 14th perfect 
 game in major league baseball history. 
1998 - Bell Atlantic and GTE announced $52 billion deal 
 that created the second-largest phone company. 
1998 - Serbian military forces seized the Kosovo town 
 of Malisevo. 
1998 - Monica Lewinsky received blanket immunity from 
 prosecution to testify before a grand jury about her 
 relationship with U.S. President Clinton. 
2006 - Researchers announced that two ancient reptiles 
 had been found off Australia. The Umoonasaurus and 
 Opallionectes were the first of their kind to be found 
 in the period soon after the Jurassic era.
2014  smiled.


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How not to loose text in power failure 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, July 27.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Drunk woman sleeping in a car at the mall Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1980 The deposed shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, died in a hospital near Cairo, Egypt.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. --- Benjamin Franklin (1706 - 1790), How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live. --- Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)
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>From Sandie A SOUTHERNER vacationing in Maine stopped at a small convenience store to buy some souvenirs. As he stood in line to pay for his purchases, the southerner was amused by the accent of some local lobster fishermen, who were in the store discussing the day’s catch. Stepping up to the cash register, the tourist commented to the clerk, “Some people around here sure talk with funny accents.” “Aye-yuh,” the clerk replied, “but thay’ll all be gohne by Laybor Day.”
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Garden Classic: GOD: Frank , you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colours by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles. Saint FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass. GOD: Grass? But, it's so boring. It's not colourful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there? ST. FRANCIS : Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn. GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy. ST. FRANCIS : Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it --sometimes twice a week. GOD: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay? ST. FRANCIS : Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags. GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it? ST. FRANCIS : No, Sir, just the opposite. They pay to throw it away. GOD: Now, let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away? ST. FRANCIS : Yes, Sir. GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work. ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this, Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it. GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life. ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away. GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter to keep the soil moist and loose? ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves. GOD: And where do they get this mulch? ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch. GOD: Enough! I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight? ST. CATHERINE: "Dumb and Dumber", Lord. It's a story about.... GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.
Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Suzanne Morales, 45, Boca Raton, Florida Florida woman in lingerie tried to run over cop Florida police say a woman wearing only lingerie tried to run over an officer who woke her while she slept in her car. No one was injured, but according to WPTV.com, police allegedly had to break out a window to subdue 45 year old Suzanne Morales, of Boca Raton. The incident occurred Monday morning in the parking lot of the Town Center Mall in Boca Raton. Someone who saw a scantily clad woman inside a vehicle, called the Boca Raton Police Department at about 9 a.m., the Sun Sentinel reports. According to Browardpalmbeach.com, responding officers suspected Morales was drunk because they could smell alcohol. The officers reportedly knocked on one of the car windows. Morales allegedly refused to roll down her windows or exit the vehicle. It was at that point, police say, that their investigation took a dangerous turn. Morales, according to WPTV.com, backed her car up, nearly hitting an officer and scraped another car in the mall parking lot before her vehicle came to a stop. After breaking out the rear window of the vehicle, police took Morales into custody and charged her with aggravated assault and obstructing an officer without violence. Morales is being held at the Palm Beach County Jail in lieu of $10,000 bail. Tech Support Pits From: Ellie Re: Lost poem again Dear Webby, Two problems: 1. I am three verses into “Dear Lord” poem today. 5 minutes ago. Screen goes blank and I DID NOT HIT A KEY AT ALL! I was still on the page but had no poem and could not retrieve it and it was good but no longer in my memory. What would you have done if it were you, could you have saved it? 2. A few days ago we had to remove a lot of bad downloads added since I got my new computer last year and I noticed I no longer get my daily Humor Letter. Could you please sign me up again, I did really enjoy it. Thanks, Ellie Dear Ellie Judging by the "“" microslop in your email, you are using Microsoft Word or something similar. You can set Auto-Save in that. Just hit F1 when in that program, and search for AutoSave. I write stuff either in Eudora, my email program, or in NoteTab. Both have Auto-Save. NoteTab is at http://notetab.com You can have dozens of tabs open, with unfinished poems. Just set the AutoSave at 2 minutes. Save each poem under a new name as soon as you start it. The AutoSave will save it automatically. Then, when one is finished, I can paste it into a card or email or web page. Re your Humor Letter: k********@gmail.com IS subscribed. Check your SPAM folder. You may have to make a filter to keep it out of SPAM. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Rain for Cleaning Throw Rugs I found out by accident the best way to clean my old throw rugs. I washed them and hung them on the clothesline outside. Then it rained, and rained and rained. To my surprise, they were cleaner then when I first hung them out. No more machine washing of rugs for me, now I just hang them out on the line when I hear it's going to rain. By April [7] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a female pedestrian. She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the curb and stopped. I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right. "I'm fine," she assured me, "but I hate to think what could have happened to me if that dog hadn't honked."
Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Bill hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried. However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him. A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Bill, but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and behold! --there sat Bill! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so. Then he said, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the world happened to you?" Bill replied, "I have been in jail." "Jail?" cried Sam. "What in the world for?" "Well," Bill said, "you know Sue, that cute little redheaded waitress at the coffee shop that we sometimes go to?" "Yeah," said Sam, "I remember her. What about her?" "Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded 'guilty' and the judge gave me 30 days for perjury."

» Butchart Gardens

Today in 
1214 At the Battle of Bouvines in France, Philip Augustus 
 of France defeated John of England.
1245 Frederick II was deposed by a council at Lyons after 
 they found him guilty of sacrilege.
1663 The British Parliament passed a second Navigation Act, 
 which required all goods bound for the colonies be sent in 
 British ships from British ports.
1689 Government forces defeated the Scottish Jacobites at 
 the Battle of Killiecrankie.
1777 The marquis of Lafayette arrived in New England to 
 help the rebellious American colonists fight the British.
1778 The British and French fleets fought to a standoff in 
 the first Battle of Ushant.
1866 Cyrus Field successfully completed the Atlantic Cable. 
 It was an underwater telegraph from North America to Europe.
1909 Orville Wright set a record for the longest airplane 
 flight. He was testing the first Army airplane and kept it 
 in the air for 1 hour 12 minutes and 40 seconds.
1914 British troops invaded the streets of Dublin, Ireland, 
 and began to disarm Irish rebels.
1918 The Socony 200 was launched. It was the first concrete 
 barge and was used to carry oil.
1921 Canadian biochemist Frederick Banting and associates 
 announced the discovery of the hormone insulin.
1940 Bugs Bunny made his official debut in the Warner Bros. 
 animated cartoon "A Wild Hare."
1944 U.S. troops completed the liberation of Guam.
1947 The World Water Ski Organization was founded in 
 Geneva, Switzerland.
1953 The armistice agreement that ended the Korean War 
 was signed at Panmunjon, Korea.
1955 The Allied occupation of Austria ended.
 I remember that! All school kids got speeches 
 and a BIG hotdog!
1964 U.S. President Lyndon Johnson sent an additional 
 5,000 advisers to South Vietnam.
1965 In the U.S., the Federal Cigarette Labeling and 
 Advertising Act was signed into law. The law required 
 health warnings on all cigarette packages.
1967 U.S. President Johnson appointed the Kerner 
 Commission to assess the causes of the violence in the 
 wake of urban rioting.
1974 The U.S. Congress asked for impeachment procedures 
 against President Richard Nixon.
1980 The deposed shah of Iran, Muhammad Riza Pahlavi, 
 died in a hospital near Cairo, Egypt.
1993 IBM's new chairman, Louis V. Gerstner, Jr., announced 
 an $8.9 billion plan to cut the company's costs.
2003 It was reported by the BBC (British Broadcasting Corp.) 
 that there was no monster in Loch Ness. The investigation 
 used 600 separate sonar beams and satellite navigation 
 technology to trawl the loch. Reports of sightings of the 
 "Loch Ness Monster" began in the 6th century.
2006 Intel Corp introduced its Core 2 Duo microprocessors.
2014  smiled.


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Age of the driver 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, July 26.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Florida man who was run over by his own truck during road rage Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1956 - Egyptian President Gamal Abdel Nasser nationalized the Suez Canal.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
At 18 our convictions are hills from which we look; At 45 they are caves in which we hide. --- F. Scott Fitzgerald (1896 - 1940)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
One of our patients wasn't taking any chances. Prior to her operation, she taped notes to her body for the surgeon... "Take your time," "Don't cut yourself," "No need to rush," "Wash your hands..." After surgery, as I helped the patient back into her bed, we discovered a new note taped to her, this one from the doctor, "Has anyone seen my wristwatch?"
Fix, Clean & Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs

Police Reports The following are copies of ACTUAL written statements submitted to the police on report forms. (Or at least they claim to be ACTUAL statements. You be the judge.) The drivers were instructed to give a brief statement on the particulars of the accident in their own words. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't know. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my Mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in the bush with just his rear end showing. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished. The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him. I saw the slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood of my car. The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the roadway when I struck him. My girlfriend kissed me. I lost control and woke up in the hospital. When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car. As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had fractured my skull. I thought I could squeeze between two trucks when my car became squashed.
Thanks to Bill for this picture Click on the picture for the large version Webby, Always enjoy the photo you put in your the humor newsletter. Here's one I took recently in the Biloxi (MS) Harbor, just behind a restaurant called McElroy's. Maybe you can use it. Bill
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Joseph Carl, 48, Gainesville, Florida Florida Man Run Over by Own Truck During Road Rage A man in Florida apparently got a dose of road rage karma when police say he was run over by his own pickup truck after getting out to bang on another driver's window. It happened Tuesday evening in Gainesville, Florida. The Gainesville Sun reports 48-year-old Joseph Carl had been drinking and drove into a vehicle stopped at a red light. He got out of his truck without putting it in park and began banging on the window of a woman's car. When the frightened woman drove away, there was nothing holding his truck in place. The truck rolled into Carl. A police report says he was taken to the hospital where he was treated for fractures in his hand and foot. He's charged with DUI and DUI property damage. It isn't known whether he's obtained a lawyer. Tech Support Pits From: Ruth Re: Bus driver's age Hi Webby, Hope you're faring well after your cataract surgeries, and in general. I truly enjoy the Humor Letter and look forward to the daily read. I think I missed something, or skimmed too fast one day. What IS the answer to the bus driver's age question? I saw the post with the names of those who figured it out, but then no more. thanks, Ruth Dear Ruth You are the driver. And you are 29, right? Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Glue Bait Down to Catch Chipmunks They will steal the food in the traps. I had success by using a hot glue gun to glue sunflower seeds to the cage or mousetrap. We have caught over 50 chipmunks in the past 2 months. It works great in the live cages. By Jimmy F. [1] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

I love to read those advice columns in the newspaper. I saw one where they ask what is the worst thing you could receive on your twenty fifth wedding anniversary?" You know what the answer was? "Morning Sickness."
A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, "How many children do you have?" "Ten," she replied. "What are their names?" he asked. "LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered. "They're all named LeRoy?" he asked "What if you want them to come in from playing outside?" "Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'LeRoy,' and they all come running in." "And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?" "I just say, 'LeRoy, come eat your dinner'," she answered. "But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he asked. "Oh, that's easy," she said. "Then I just use their last name!"

» Dog Days of Summer: July 3 until August 11

Today in 
1775 - A postal system was established by the 2nd Continental 
 Congress of the United States. The first Postmaster General 
 was Benjamin Franklin.
1881 - Thomas Edison and Patrick Kenny execute a patent 
 application for a facsimile telegraph (U.S. Pat. 479,184).
1893 - Commercial production of the Addressograph started 
 in Chicago, IL.
1907 - The Chester was launched. It was the first 
 turbine-propelled ship.
1952 - King Farouk I of Egypt abdicated in the wake of a 
 coup led by Gamal Abdel Nasser.
1953 - Fidel Castro began his revolt against Fulgencio 
 Batista with an unsuccessful attack on an army barracks 
 in eastern Cuba. Castro eventually ousted Batista six 
 years later.
1956 - Egyptian President Gamal Abdel Nasser nationalized 
 the Suez Canal.
1971 - Apollo 15 was launched from Cape Kennedy, FL.
2014  smiled.


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Stuck Hoourglass 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, July 25.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Dianne corrected me on the ALL CAPS issue.
She recommended http://Stripmail.net
That is the same company that made the good ol Stripmail
for removing the >>> from multiple forwardws.

I have not tried their new version.

>From Michael
Hi DearWebby,
Though I agree with you that Jerry should push back at the 
original source, if that’s not an option, both Open Office 
and Microsoft Word can automatically convert whole sentences 
and even whole documents from all upper case to mixed case 
with just a few mouse clicks:

Open Office: Convert All Uppercase

Microsoft Word: Change Capitalization

In both cases what Jerry is after is called “Sentence case”.
Aloha,
-mkr

Thanks to both of you!
Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Californian, who robbed El Pollo Loco restaurant and returned for lunch Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2010 WikiLeaks leaked to the public more than 90,000 internal reports involving the U.S.-led War in Afghanistan from 2004-2010.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. --- Saint Augustine (354 AD - 430 AD) Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. --- Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971)
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A Kiwi was hoping to immigrate to Australia. Upon arriving in Australia, he was questioned by a customs officer, "What is your business in Australia?" "I wish to immigrate," was the Kiwi's reply. The customs officer then asked, "Do you have a conviction record?" Confused, the Kiwi then replied, "I didn't know you still needed one!"
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There was a university in New England where the students operated a "bank" of term papers and other homework assignments. There were papers to suit all needs. Since it would look odd if an undistinguished student suddenly handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for an A grade, B grade, and C grade. One student, who had spent the weekend on more "extra-curricular pursuits," went to the bank, and as his course was a standard one he took out a paper for a inconspicuous C. He then retyped it and handed the work in. In due course he received it back with the professor's comments. "I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always thought it was worth an A, and now I'm pleased to give it one!"
Thanks to Dianne for this picture Click on the picture for the movie World's tallest swing

Thanks to LittleMiss for this classic: Becky and Sally were doing some carpentry work on their house. Becky, who was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in. Sally figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" Becky explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away." Sally got completely upset and yelled, "You moron! Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Daniel Lee Warn, Daniel Lee Warn Robs El Pollo Loco Restaurant And Returns For Lunch A man suspected of burglarizing an El Pollo Loco in Costa Mesa, California, has been arrested after he returned to the restaurant for a meal a few hours after the robbery. Daniel Lee Warn, 28, was arrested Wednesday when he tried to order food at the restaurant, because employees recognized him from the security footage of the robbery. The restaurant was closed at the time of the break-in, but the surveillance video showed a man climbing through the drive-through window and ransacking the cash register in a failed attempt to find money. When Warn showed up to order lunch, he was wearing the same clothes as the person seen in the video: A green T-shirt and a hat emblazoned with a bright pink face, the Daily Pilot reports. The restaurant manager called police who arrested Warn on multiple counts of burglary, KTLA-TV reports. Police believe Warn is also responsible for three other burglaries in the same area between Tuesday and Wednesday. Warn, a transient, was sentenced to two years in prison last month, but was freed as part of a post-release community supervision program, according to UPI.com Tech Support Pits From: Jessica Re: Stuck Hourglass Dear Webby I need someone to tell me what I need to do to correct a computer problem. When I point mouse arrow at a website, then click, sometimes it will click onto the little 'hourglass' from the arrow & won't click back to arrow again. So, here I sit, waiting for it to make up it's mind to continue down the yellow brick road & some times it does but most times it won't! The only way I can continue on is to re-boot. It's becoming a pain in the patoot! It even does it when I start typing in the chatroom & after a couple of minutes, it goes back to normal. I have noticed it does it more frequently whenever there is something else going on behind the scenes - like various updates, etc. Is there some thing or some place I can click to try to correct this? Help! Help! Help! Dear Jessica From what I hear, that is quite common with AOL dial-up accounts. It is simply a matter of lack of connection speed. Sometimes you can gain a bit more speed by using the Task Manager (CTRL SHIFT ESC), Processes, to kill your browser and then restarting it, but for the long run, the only solution is to get a faster connection to the Internet. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Onion Snow from Frozen Onions When I cook, I love onion but not in large pieces or strips. None of the kids I know like them that way either. When the Vidalias (my favorite onion) are in season, I buy several. I peel, clean and wash them with a quick douse under HOT water. Then put them into plastic and freeze them whole. The hot water preserves the crunchiness when freezing. Ditto with lettuce to go in the fridge, it's an old trick my mom taught me. When I cook, I take one of my whole frozen onions out and get out my fine size grater. I hold the onion as long as I can and grate a pile of onion snow. It IS cold, so you may need to take breaks or use a silicone glove. Be sure to use a fine grater. I took the finished product here and made onion cakes. I added 1/4 cup flour, 1 Tbsp. cornmeal, 1 1/2 tsp. baking powder, 3 Tbsp. coconut milk and an egg. Mix all, let set 10 minutes, then fry like pancakes. I hope you get a chance to try this and find it helpful. The onion snow flavors the meal and no one complains about it. ("YUK! Onions!") The food goes down with relish and no complaints. By J'Marinde [2] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard." Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.
The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a HUGE amount of material on the midterm exam. Tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud as they realized how much material they had covered and were expected to recall. The following week, the professor tossed the graded papers on her desk and announced, "Class, after I left here last week, the Lord spoke to me. He said, 'Thanks, professor. I haven't heard from some of those people in years.

» Cacti

Today in 
0326 Constantine refused to carry out the traditional 
 pagan sacrifices.
1394 Charles VI of France issued a decree for the general 
 expulsion of Jews from France.
1564 Maximillian II became emperor of the Holy Roman Empire.
1587 Japanese strong-man Hideyoshi banned Christianity in 
 Japan and ordered all Christians to leave.
1593 France's King Henry IV converted from Protestantism 
 to Roman Catholicism.
1759 British forces defeated a French army at Fort Niagara 
 in Canada.
1799 Napoleon Bonaparte defeated the Ottomans at 
 Aboukir, Egypt.
1805 Aaron Burr visited New Orleans with plans to establish 
 a new country, with New Orleans as the capital city.
1845 China granted Belgium equal trading rights with 
 Britain, France and the United States.
1850 Gold was discovered in the Rogue River in OR.
1854 The paper collar was patented by Walter Hunt.
1861 The Crittenden Resolution, which called for the 
 American Civil War to be fought to preserve the Union 
 and not for slavery, was passed by the U.S. Congress.
1866 Ulysses S. Grant was named General of the Army. He 
 was the first American officer to hold the rank.
1871 Seth Wheeler patented perforated wrapping paper.
1907 Korea became a protectorate of Japan.
1909 French aviator Louis Bleriot flew across the English 
 Channel in a monoplane. He traveled from Calais to Dover 
 in 37 minutes. He was the first man to fly across the channel.
1914 Russia declared that it would act to protect Serbian 
 sovereignty.
1924 Greece announced the deportation of 50,000 Armenians.
1941 The U.S. government froze all Japanese and Chinese assets.
1943 Italian Fascist dictator Benito Mussolini was 
 overthrown in a coup.
1946 The U.S. detonated an atomic bomb at Bikini Atoll in the 
 Pacific. It was the first underwater test of the device.
1952 Puerto Rico became a self-governing commonwealth of the U.S.
1978 Louise Joy Brown, the first test-tube baby, was born 
 in Oldham, England. She had been conceived through in-vitro 
 fertilization.
1984 Soviet cosmonaut Svetlana Savitskaya became the first 
 woman to walk in space. She was aboard the orbiting space 
 station Salyut 7.
1994 Israel and Jordan formally ended the state of war that 
 had existed between them since 1948.
1999 Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France. He was only 
 the second American to win the race.
2010 WikiLeaks leaked to the public more than 90,000 internal 
 reports involving the U.S.-led War in Afghanistan 
 from 2004-2010. 
2014  smiled.


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Editing ALL CAPS text 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, July 24

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Woman who tried to shoplift vibrator by hiding device behind her child in stroller Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1987 Hulda Crooks, at 91 years of age, climbed Mt. Fuji. Hulda became the oldest person to climb Japan’s highest peak.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
I improve on misquotation. --- Cary Grant (1904 - 1986) There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it. --- Mary Wilson Little
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I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since I had little experience in flying in small planes, I was nervous when we approached a landing strip in a snow covered area. The pilot descended to just a dozen feet, then gunned both engines, climbed, and circled back. While my heart pounded, the passenger beside me seemed calm. "I wonder why he didn't land," I said. "He was checking to see if the landing strip was plowed," the man said. As we made a second approach, I glanced out the window. "It looks plowed to me," I commented. "No," my seat mate said. "It hasn't been cleared for some time." "How can you tell?" I asked. "Because," the man informed me, "I'm the guy who drives the plow, and I have been in Hawaii for two weeks."
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Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house. Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake." "No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces without asking."
Thanks to Dianne for this picture Click on the picture for the large version Let's GIT!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Walter, the Stonecarver for reporting this: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Misty Ann Lee, 38, Spartanburg, SC Woman who tried to shoplift vibrator by hiding device behind her child in stroller A woman who allegedly tried to steal a vibrator from the “love section” of a Spencer’s gift shop in South Carolina was foiled when a store employee spotted her stashing the device behind her child, who was seated in a stroller, police report. Misty Ann Lee, 38, was nabbed Friday afternoon inside the WestGate Mall in Spartanburg, according to a police report. She was cited for shoplifting and booked into the county jail (from which she was released late Friday evening). A Spencer’s manager told cops that she saw Lee “select a vibrator from the love unit” and then move to the “t-shirt cube,” where she allegedly slid the item “behind a young child in the stroller.” Lee then departed the store, worker Dawn Hamilton told investigators. After Lee departed the business, she was stopped by Hamilton, who demanded the vibrator. “Ms. Hamilton stated Ms. Lee looked like she didn't know what she was talking about but eventually she retrieved the merchandise from the stroller,” according to a Spartanburg Police Department report. With vibrator in hand, Hamilton appeared content to let Lee skate. But when Lee subsequently sought to reenter Spencer’s, Hamilton decided to notify police. Lee, seen in the above mug shot, is free on a $2000 personal recognizance bond. The police report does not include the make, model, or retail price of the vibrator. Tech Support Pits From: Jerry Re: Caps Locked text Dear Webby I am editing (pro bono) a local service club monthly bulletin and occasionally get a script IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. I don't mind going through two or three paragraphs, but it will take forever to rewrite several pages -- not to mention how boring it is. If anyone knows a shortcut, I figure it is you. CAN YOU HELP? Thanx, Jerry Dear Jerry Just send it back to them and tell them that they are giving AOL a bad name, again. Tell them that there is more to life than slouching on the couch, a bottle of Southern Comfort in one hand, and poking a Caps-Locked keyboard with the typo finger of the other hand. Jerry, you are not doing them a favor by lowering your standards to theirs! Bring them up to YOURS! He's a poor teacher, who has never been called a meanie. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Auto Sun Shades on Your House Windows Use windshield sun shades on windows and skylights to keep sun out and your living space cooler. By Marilyn from Duryea, PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A Jewish woman's husband dies. He only had $30,000 to his name. After everything was done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that there is none of the $30,000 left. The friend asked, "How can that be?" The widow replied, "Well, the funeral cost me $6,500. And of course I made a donation to the shul ..that was $500, and I spent another $500 for food and drinks for the people when I was sitting shiva. The rest went for the memorial stone." Her friend said, "$22,500 for the memorial stone? My, how big is it?" The widow said, "Three carats."
Waiting in a long, slow-moving line for security clearance at the Edmonton International Airport in Canada, I was annoyed to hear a loud male voice behind me. "Excuse me, excuse me," said the man as he pushed his way to the front. "I want to make sure I get a good seat." I resolved not to let this line-jumper get ahead of me. When I felt a tap on my shoulder, I whirled around, prepared to give the man a tongue-lashing -- but found myself face to face with a grinning pilot.

» Beaches

Today in 
1847 Mormon leader Brigham Young and his followers arrived 
 in the valley of the Great Salt Lake in present-day Utah.
1847 Richard M. Hoe patented the rotary-type printing press.
1923 The Treaty of Lausanne, which settled the boundaries 
 of modern Turkey, was concluded in Switzerland.
1948 Soviet occupation forces in Germany blockaded West Berlin. 
 The U.S.-British airlift began the following day.
1969 The Apollo 11 astronauts splashed down safely in the 
 Pacific Ocean.
1974 The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled that President 
 Nixon had to turn over subpoenaed White House tape recordings 
 to the Watergate special prosecutor.
1978 Billy Martin was fired for the first of three times as 
 the manager of the New York Yankees baseball team.
1987 Hulda Crooks, at 91 years of age, climbed Mt. Fuji. 
 Hulda became the oldest person to climb Japan’s highest peak. 
2014  smiled.


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Pop-Up in the middle of movies 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, July 23

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a dope dealer, who fled into a Police Academy Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1984 Miss America, Vanessa Williams, turned in her crown after it had been discovered that nude photos of her had appeared in "Penthouse" magazine. She was the first to resign the title.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Of those who say nothing, few are silent. --- Thomas Neill Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. --- Kurt Herbert Alder All good things in moderation, including moderation. -- Socratex
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He though about it for some time before responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6.
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The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet deep. After the job was completed the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered. The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office and explained his problem. The boss snorted, "Honestly! The kind of help you get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do. You'll have to dig that hole deeper!"
Thanks to Dianne for this picture Click on the picture for the large version Australia decided to dump their Carbon Tax, since it is obviously rather presumptious and silly to pretend that human efforts are in the same league as volcanoes and forest fires.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Thanks to Walter, the Stonecarver for reporting this: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Roger Wayne Beasley Jr., 30, BILOXI, Miss. Dope dealer, who fled into a Police Academy A man who fled from a traffic stop on U.S. 90 unknowingly ran into a building where police academy training was in session. Roger Wayne Beasley Jr., 30, apparently was so focused on getting away that he didn't notice marked cars parked outside the Harrison County Law Enforcement Training Academy building on Leggett Drive, Police Chief John Miller said. An officer had recognized Beasley driving a vehicle Wednesday and knew he didn't have a license, Miller said. Beasley turned on to Chalmers Drive, jumped out of his vehicle and ran off, so an officer jumped out of his car and ran after him. "He got to the door and was about to go through," Miller said. He was outnumbered. Police arrested Beasley on charges of possession with intent to distribute crack cocaine, resisting arrest, no driver's license, careless driving, improper lane change, resisting arrest and failure to comply. Beasley was released from the Harrison County jail on bonds that total $51,670. Tech Support Pits From: Vi Re: Nuisance Pop-Up in movies Dear Webby Why do I get a small pop up in the middle of a video asking me to allow or deny someone to store information on my computer? It has no X to delete it and it stays right in the middle of the video Thanks for any help you can suggest. GG Vi Dear Vi That is from your Adobe Flash Player. Right-click the thilly Pop-Up Select Global Settings and let it have 10 MB or so space for temp files. After that it will stop being a nuisance. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No-Blow Picnic Tablecloth When I was a kid, we picnicked a LOT in the summer. My mom got tired of the table cloth blowing up and tipping everything, so she began packing a twin-sized fitted sheet in the basket. It fit the public tables perfectly, and no more blowing tablecloths. In fact, she won a similar tip contest with this back in the late 50's, but I have not seen it mentioned since then. By J'Marinde [2] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient. "You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family is worried about your taste in socks?" "That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks." "But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor. "Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks." "You DO?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or just a squeeze of lemon?"

» Pet Suites

Today in 
1715 The first lighthouse in America was authorized for 
 construction at Little Brewster Island, Massachusetts.
1827 The first swimming school in the U.S. opened in 
 Boston, MA.
1829 William Burt patented the typographer, which was 
 the first typewriter.
1877 The first American municipal railroad passenger service 
 began in Cincinnati, Ohio.
1886 Steve Brodie, a New York saloonkeeper, claimed to 
 have made a daredevil plunge from the Brooklyn Bridge into 
 the East River.
1904 The ice cream cone was invented by Charles E. Menches 
 during the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis, MO.
1914 Austria-Hungary issued an ultimatum to Serbia to 
 surrender the assassin of Archduke Francis Ferdinand. 
 England turned that into World War I.
1938 The first federal game preserve was approved by the 
 U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. The area was 2,000 acres 
 in Utah.
1945 The first passenger train observation car was placed 
 in service by the Chicago, Burlington and Quincy Railroad.
1952 Egyptian military officers led by Gamal Abdel Nasser 
 overthrew King Farouk I.
1958 The submarine Nautilus departed from Pearl Harbor, 
 Hawaii, under orders to conduct "Operation Sunshine." 
 The mission was to be the first vessel to cross the north 
 pole by ship. The Nautils achieved that on August 3, 1958.
1962 The "Telstar" communications satellite sent the first 
 live TV broadcast to Europe.
1972 Eddie Merckx of Belgium won his fourth consecutive Tour 
 de France bicycling competition.
1972 The U.S. launched Landsat 1 (ERTS-1). It was the first 
 Earth-resources satellite.
1984 Miss America, Vanessa Williams, turned in her crown 
 after it had been discovered that nude photos of her had 
 appeared in "Penthouse" magazine. She was the first to 
 resign the title.
1986 Britain's Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson at 
 Westminster Abbey in London. They divorced in 1996.
1998 U.S. scientists at the University of Hawaii turned 
 out more than 50 "carbon-copy" mice, with a cloning technique.
2000 Lance Armstrong won his second Tour de France. 
2014  smiled.


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Autoresponders pro/con 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, July 22.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to an Illinois Bimbo, who posted a selfie of her wearing a shoplifted dress on FB Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1926 Babe Ruth caught a baseball at Mitchell Field in New York. The ball had been dropped from an airplane flying at 250 feet.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
No one can earn a million dollars honestly. --- William Jennings Bryan (1860 - 1925) The only correct actions are those that demand no explanation and no apology. --- Red Auerbach
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
>From Honey Married 52 years, I took a look at my wife Julie yesterday and said, "Honey, 52 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I go to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old chick. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 70+ year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things." Now Julie is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old chick, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed.
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While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new tennis ball, and seeing nobody around it might belong to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts. Later, on his way home, he stopped at a pedestrian crossing, waiting for the lights to change. A girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's that?" she asked. "Tennis ball," came the breathless reply. "Oh," said the girl sympathetically, "that must be painful, I had tennis elbow once."
Thanks to Dianne for this picture Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Danielle Saxton, 27, West Frankfort, Illinois Illinois Bimbo, who posted a selfie of her wearing a shoplifted dress on FB Police investigating the theft of clothing and jewelry from a southern Illinois boutique say they arrested a woman after she posted Facebook photos of herself wearing one of the stolen items. WSIL-TV reports that police arrested 27-year-old Danielle Saxton, of West Frankfort, earlier this month on misdemeanor retail theft charges. She's free on her own recognizance. Authorities say a distinctive leopard-print dress was among the items stolen July 11 from Mortie's Boutique in West Frankfort. The store's co-owner, Kert Williams, says he posted about the stolen items on Facebook and that people who saw Williams' posting and those of Saxton made the connection and helped police. Tech Support Pits From: Alice Re: Auto responder Dear Webby While looking for a certain picture that you had one day, I came across your diatribe against autroresponders. At first I was miffed at your reply, that sounded like you had preached the same thing too many times. Pardon me for not having been subscribed as long as others. Then I phoned my daughter, hoping she had a different explanation. Well, golly, she didn't. And she had me blacklisted! Not on purpose, but as you said, anything that smells like an auto- responder gets dumped and the sender blacklisted. Now I dumped my autoresponder, and the stupid book that recommended it. Thanks Alice Dear Alice Good for you! Autoresponders are only justified when they deliver requested information, like for example a price list, or weather update, or event schedule, or even race results when somebody sends a blank email to a certain address. Other than that, it's best to avoid them like the plague. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Fruit Fly Trap I absolutely hate fruit flies! This trap is very easy to make and works really well. I always have this trap set up on the counter, so an infestation never has a chance to take hold. :) Approximate Time: 5 minutes Supplies: red wine vinegar Dawn dish soap plastic wrap rubber band toothpick clear jar Steps: Put 3-4 drops of Dawn soap into the bottom of the jar. Pour 6 Tbsp. of red wine vinegar into the jar (or enough to fill it about 1/4 in.). Gently swirl the jar around to combine the ingredients. Place a piece of plastic wrap over the jar and pull it tight across the top. Secure it with a rubber band. Trim off any excess plastic. Using a toothpick, poke holes into the plastic so the flies can get in. Place your trap near any fruit you have out on the counter. Goodbye fruit flies! NOTE: I change out my mixture about every 2 weeks, more often if I am catching a lot of fruit flies. By lalala... [465] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me."
From Sandie: Phone companies charge up to $1.35 for"411 Information" calls, but you really don't have to pay that. When you need to use the 411 Information option, simply dial 1-800-FREE-411 or 1 800 373 3411 and you will not be charge for it. Works on home phones and on cell phones as well Sandie

» She Sells Seashells by the Seashore

Today in 
1376 The legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin leading rats 
 out of town is said to have occurred on this date.
1587 A second English colony was established on Roanoke 
 Island off North Carolina. The colony vanished under 
 mysterious circumstances.
1796 Cleveland was founded by General Moses Cleaveland.
1798 The USS Constitution was underway and out to sea for 
 the first time since being launched on October 21, 1797.
1812 English troops under the Duke of Wellington defeated 
 the French at the Battle of Salamanca in Spain.
1926 Babe Ruth caught a baseball at Mitchell Field in 
 New York. The ball had been dropped from an airplane 
 flying at 250 feet.
1933 Wiley Post ended his around-the-world flight. He 
 had traveled 15,596 miles in 7 days, 18 hours and 45 min.
1943 American forces led by General George S. Patton 
 captured Palermo, Sicily.
1941 Plans for the Pentagon were presented to the House 
 Subcommittee on Appropriations.
1975 Confederate General Robert E. Lee had his U.S. 
 citizenship restored by the U.S. Congress.
1987 The U.S. began its policy of escorting re-flagged 
 Kuwaiti tankers up and down the Persian Gulf to protect them 
 from possible attack by Iran.
1998 Iran tested medium-range missile, capable of reaching 
 Israel or Saudi Arabia.
2000 Astronomers at the University of Arizona announced that 
 they had found a 17th moon orbiting Jupiter.
2003 In northern Iraq, Saddam Hussein's sons Odai and Qusai 
 died after a gunfight with U.S. forces.
2003 In Paris, France, a fire broke out near the top of the 
 Eiffel Tower. About 4,000 visitors were evacuated and no 
 injuries were reported.
2009 The longest total solar eclipse of the 21st century, 
 lasting up to 6 minutes and 38.8 seconds, occurred over 
 parts of Asia and the Pacific Ocean.
2014  smiled.


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How to change icon sizes in Windows 7 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, July 21.

Dr Bill and Jim, HMCM USN RET
figured out the age of the bus driver.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a teacher who threatened to fail a student if he stopped providing sex to her. Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1959 A U.S. District Court judge in New York City ruled that "Lady Chatterley’s Lover" was not a dirty book.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A man can stand anything except a succession of ordinary days. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. --- A. H. Weiler (1909 - 2002)
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'Twas in a restaurant they first met, Romeo and Juliet. 'Twas there that he got into debt, 'Cause he owed what Juli ate.'
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An Irishman and an American were sitting in the bar at Shannon Airport. "I've come to meet my brother," said the Irishman. "He's due to fly in from America in an hour's time. It's his first trip home in forty years". "Will you be able to recognize him?" asked the American. "I'm sure I won't," said the Irishman, "after all, he's been away for a long time". "I wonder if he'll recognize you?" said the American. "Of course he will," said the Irishman. "I haven't been away at all".
Thanks to Janina for this picture Click on the picture for the large version I often share my fruit pits, skins and seeds with my backyard visitors. Here's my recent photo of a chipmunk enjoying a little nectarine. Hope you like my photo too. take care, Janina
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Danielle Watkins, 32, Norwalk, CT Female teacher accused of using grade threat for sex A Stamford High School English teacher is accused of threatening to fail a student if he broke off their sexual relationship. Danielle Watkins of Norwalk turned herself in to police Thursday. She is charged with sexual assault, sale of marijuana and risk of injury to a minor. Police say the 18-year-old student came to them in June and described how the 32-year-old teacher had provided him with drugs and sex since last September. Police say she also gave marijuana to a 15-year-old. The Stamford Advocate reported that the victim allegedly told police he had encounters in her car and during school hours. A forensic examination of her phone reportedly revealed 2,000 text messages and naked pictures of herself sent to the student. Police say they recovered 2,000 text messages, including nude photos sent to the teen's phone. Watkins posted $100,000 bond and is due in state Superior Court in Stamford on July 31. Tech Support Pits From: Eleanor Re: Icon size in Windows 7 Dear Webby For some unknown and mysterious reason my icons on the W7 desktop are really tiny, and Microsoft has no help about that anywhere. Do I have to buy a program to change that like theyb do on W8, or do you have a sneaky trick to fix that? Thanks Eleanor Dear Eleanor Click on an empty spot on your desktop. Hold down the CTRL key Scroll the mouse wheel away from you, GENTLY! Don't get too carried away with that, or you will scroll icons right off the screen. If you do that, Windows usually looses them. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Using Coffee Grounds to Remove Odors Here's a great way to use coffee grounds once you have made coffee. Dump your used coffee grounds into a container and keep, open, in the refrigerator. The used grounds make your fridge smell like coffee and absorbs all the unwanted odors at the same time. When the container gets full, dump them around your azaleas. They have just what it takes to perk them up and get them going again, make a nice, rich looking mulch, and hold some moisture for the plants as well. The best fact of all is that they repel mosquitoes at the same time and are biodegradable while enriching your soil. So, go have a nice, hot cuppa coffee and start going green! Source: A friend told me about this. I tried it, and it does all the things listed above! By Jacketbacker from Greer, SC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A Protestant moved into a completely Catholic community. Being good Catholics they welcomed him into their community. But, also because they were good Catholics they did not eat red meat on Fridays. So when their neighbor began barbecuing some juicy steak on Friday night, they began to squirm. They were so annoyed that they went to talk to him about it. After much talk they convinced him to become Catholic. The next Sunday he went to the priest and the priest sprinkled holy water on him and said, "You were born Protestant. You were raised Protestant. But now you are Catholic." And so, the next Friday, as the neighbors sat down to eat their fish, they were disturbed by the smell of roast beef coming from the neighboring house. They went over to talk to the new Catholic because he knew he was not supposed to eat beef on Fridays. When they saw him, he was sprinkling ketchup on the beef saying, "You were born a cow. You were raised a cow. But now you are a fish." --------------- Ketchup on steak? Barbaric heathen !
"More Americans can name the three stooges than the three branches of government. Well, that's because the three stooges are more likely to get something done." --- David Letterman

» Corkscrews

Today in 
1831 Belgium became independent as Leopold I was proclaimed 
 King of the Belgians.
1861 The first major battle of the U.S. Civil War began. It 
 was the Battle of Bull Run at Manassas Junction, VA. The 
 Confederates won the battle.
1925 The "Monkey Trial" ended in Dayton, TN. John T. Scopes 
 was convicted of violating the state law for teaching Darwin's 
 theory of evolution. The conviction was later overturned.
1940 Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia were annexed by the 
 Soviet Union.
1944 American forces landed on Guam during World War II.
1949 The U.S. Senate ratified the North Atlantic Treaty.
1954 The Geneva Conference partitioned Vietnam into 
 North Vietnam and South Vietnam.
1959 A U.S. District Court judge in New York City ruled 
 that "Lady Chatterley’s Lover" was not a dirty book.
1968 Arnold Palmer became the first golfer to make a 
 million dollars in career earnings after he tied for 
 second place at the PGA Championship.
1997 The U.S.S. Constitution, which defended the 
 United States during the War of 1812, set sail under its 
 own power for the first time in 116 years.
2002 WorldCom Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. 
 At the time it was the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history.
2004 White House officials were briefed on the September 11 
 commission's final report. The 575-page report concluded 
 that hijackers exploited "deep institutional failings within 
 our government." 
2007 The seventh and last book of the Harry Potter series, 
 "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," was released.
2011 Space Shuttle Atlantis landed at Kennedy Space Center 
 in Florida. It was the last flight of NASA's space 
 shuttle program. 
2014  smiled.


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High Speed Internet at alternate locations 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, July 20.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Florida teen who abused a minor and got tenderized by the father. Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1969 Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin E. Aldrin, Jr. became the first men to walk on the moon.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. --- William Blake (1757 - 1827)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
A little boy walked up to the librarian to check out a book entitled "COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE FOR MOTHERS." When the librarian asked him if it was for his mother, he answered 'no.' "Then why are you checking it out?" "Because," said the little boy confidently, "I just started collecting moths last month!"
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A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
Thanks to Dianne for this picture Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Raymond Frolander, 18, Daytona Beach, Florida Dad's 911 call: I've beaten up my son's assailant A father in Daytona Beach, Florida, called 911 early Friday morning to report that when he found someone sexually abusing his 11-year-old son, he beat the assailant until he was "nice and knocked out" for police to apprehend. So far, the father is not facing any charges. CNN affiliate CFN 13 asked Daytona Beach Police Chief Michael Chitwood whether he had any issue with the father's reaction Friday. Chitwood responded, "Not as a police chief and not as a father." The father's identity and that of his son were not released to protect the identity of the minor as an alleged sexual abuse victim. The father, who sounds collected but enraged during the 911 call, told Volusia County emergency dispatch that 18-year-old Raymond Frolander was close to the family and was in the apartment while the father was out. The father says that when he got home, the look on Frolander's face made him think something was wrong. The father says Frolander's pants fell down to his ankles "and nothing else needed to be said" when he saw exposed genitals. According to the charging affivadit, the 11-year-old victim told authorities that Frolander had performed oral sex on him and instructed the boy to fondle him. The document says the boy told authorities that Frolander began abusing him a few years ago. It also says Frolander told police, "I'm guilty." When the 911 dispatcher asked the father whether he used weapons to knock out Frolander, the father told the dispatcher, "my fist and my foot." The father explained that Frolander was breathing, but not speaking, "in a puddle of blood" on the floor "and I loved him up until 15 minutes ago." At times, the dad is heard talking to the suspect, at one point saying, "You are damn lucky, boy, that I love my God." When Daytona Beach police officers arrived, according to the charging affidavit, they saw Frolander "laying motionless on the living room floor with several knots on his face and bleeding from his mouth." He was treated and released from a hospital before he was questioned. Frolander faces a charge of sexual battery of a child and was in the Volusia County Jail late Friday. He had no bond. Chitwood said that the 18-year-old was like a family member to the boy, "and the father acted as a father should act." Chitwood told CFN 13 that it's not unusual for young victims to be afraid to report sexual abuse because they feel threatened or fear that they will get in trouble. Tech Support Pits From: Patti Re: Alternating Highspeed accounts Dear Webby My computer is for fun and a bit of research and after 5 years I've decided it's time to get off dial up. My problem: 6 months in Michigan, 6 months in Arizona. I've looked and looked at high speed providers and can't find one that will work between the two areas and also while I'm on the road. My present provider, Corecomm, works in all three areas but wow, it's getting slower and slower. You have to realize this "olde" gal is slowly coming into the next century, but good grief, there is so much technology to learn and small town living doesn't offer much help Can you offer any advice?? Having a lot of fun, Patti Dear Patti Call Corecom 1-877-267-3266 Customer Service or Tech support 1-800-715-7873 and complain about the lack of speed. Most ISPs gradually reduce your connection and give your bandwidth to those, who complain. You have to wait until Monday. They have nobody there on the weekend. You can, at the same time inquire how much their DSL would be. While on the road, you'll just have to go to hotels and motels that have high speed. As a rule of thumb, 3-star have wired Internet or free local dial-out, 4 star and up have wireless high speed Internet. Most McDonalds have wireless Internet, and once you have the password and the connection, you can usually take a not quite closed laptop out into the parking lot. Regarding the migration, you can also call Earthlink and ask them if they still have a Snowbird Special. Get the phone numbers for both locations ready before you call. They do have a fairly straightforward method for relocating, but best is if you talk to them. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bag Balm for Chapped Skin Relief Buy Bag Balm, in the green tin. It was made for farm animals and has an antiseptic in it for healing cracks and dry skin. Do not use on lips or get into private parts or eyes. Take a bath,dry off, scrub off dry skin, and rub small amount into skin. If using on feet, put on socks. I have given the 1 oz. tins for Christmas for years and have converted all my friends to loyal users. Go online or to your vet or feed and seed store, some drug stores also carry it. Have beautiful feet, elbows, and no flaking - thanks to Bag Balm. By Carol T. [1] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

In the admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling out forms, others were being interviewed and still others were being escorted to their rooms. An elderly woman hesitatnly entered my cubicle. She had completed her admitting forms and, upon my request, handed me her insurance cards. I typed the neccessary information and then asked her the reason for her coming to the hospital. "Just to visit a friend," she said, "but this had taken so long, I'm not sure if she is still alive."
You're driving a bus that is leaving from Pennsylvania and ending in New York. To start off with, there were 32 passengers on the bus. At the next bus stop, 11 people get off and 9 people get on. At the next bus stop, 2 people got off and 2 people got on. At the next bus stop, 12 people got on and 16 people got off. At the next bus stop, 5 people got on and 3 people got off. How old is the bus driver? --------------- Answer tomorrow.

» for all Aviary Affectionados, The Painted Bunting

Today in 
1801 A 1,235 pound cheese ball was pressed at the farm of 
 Elisha Brown, Jr. The ball of cheese was later loaded on 
 a horse-pulled wagon and presented to U.S. President 
 Thomas Jefferson at the White House.
1810 Colombia declared independence from Spain.
1868 Legislation that ordered U.S. tax stamps to be placed 
 on all cigarette packs was passed.
1871 British Columbia joined Confederation as a Canadian 
 province.
1881 Sioux Indian leader Sitting Bull, a fugitive since the 
 Battle of the Little Big Horn, surrendered to federal 
 troops. (Montana)
1908 In the United States, the Sullivan Ordinance bars women 
 from smoking in public facilities.
1917 The draft lottery in World War I went into operation.
1942 The first detachment of the Women's Army Auxiliary Corps, 
 (WACS) began basic training at Fort Des Moines, Iowa.
1944 An attempt by a group of German officials to assassinate 
 Adolf Hitler failed. The bomb exploded at Hitler's Rastenburg 
 headquarters. Hitler was only wounded.
1944 U.S. President Roosevelt was nominated for an 
 unprecedented fourth term of office at the 
 Democratic National Convention in Chicago.
1969 Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and 
 Edwin E. Aldrin, Jr. became the first men to walk 
 on the moon.
1974 Turkish forces invaded Cyprus.
1976 America's Viking I robot spacecraft made a successful 
 landing on Mars.
1982 U.S. President Ronald Reagan pulled the U.S. out of 
 comprehensive test ban negotiations indefinitely.
1985 Treasure hunters began raising $400 million in coins and 
 silver from the Spanish galleon "Nuestra Senora de Atocha." 
 The ship sank in 1622 40 miles of the coast of Key West, FL.
1992 Vaclav Havel, the playwright who led the Velvet 
 Revolution against communism, stepped down as president 
 of Czechoslovakia.
1998 Russia won a $11.2 billion loan from the International 
 Monetary Fund to help avert the devaluation of its currency.
2003 In India, elephants used for commercial work began 
 wearing reflectors to avoid being hit by cars during 
 night work.
2014  smiled.


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Weird tint on pictures 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, July 19.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Cleveland Woman Poses For Kissable Duck Face Mug Shot Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca Fall, NY. Bloomers were introduced at the convention.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Get the facts, or the facts will get you. And when you get them, get them right, or they will get you wrong. --- Dr. Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734) Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money. --- Joey Bishop (1918 - ) "When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.'" --- Jerry Lewis
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A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off. "You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand." "No thanks," said the young man. "My father wouldn't like it." "Don't be silly," the minister said. "Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water." Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!" "Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay."
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When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to mom and said, "I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?" Mom smiled and then replied, "I remember!!"
Thanks to Dianne for this picture Click on the picture for the large version GMO? Silk? Plastic? Photoshop?
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Angela Green, Cleveland Woman Poses For Kissable Duck Face Mug Shot The duck-faced Cleveland woman was arrested Saturday and charged with obstructing official business after refusing to vacate a Quality Inn hotel room she and a male companion had rented the previous evening. When officers from the Wickliffe Police Department told her and her friend they needed to leave or pay for another day, Green, 34, allegedly became “loud and uncooperative and refused to identify herself” to cops. After a brief struggle, Green was arrested and transported to jail where she posed for the above mug shot before being released on $354 bond. She is scheduled for arraignment in Willoughby Municipal Court on July 24. Tech Support Pits From: Ollie Re: Pictures have a weird tint Dear Webby The last 15 pictures that I took, all have a weird tint and less light than I expected. What could be the cause of that? Ollie Dear Ollie Most likely you or somebody turned the main selector wheel on the camera from Auto to Macro or some other unsuitable setting. Put it back to Auto, and the camera will be fine again. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pill Bottles for Transporting Salad Dressing I take lunch to work daily. I use the empty and cleared pill bottles to carry my salad dressing. Then, no soggy salad and the size is perfect for the correct amount of dressing without drowning the salad By karendewillers [1] Sporting goods and camping supply stores have "toothpaste tube" style refillable plastic tubes. Like mayonaise, salad dressing has a really low PH to kill bacteria on contact. You can fill a few tubes with your different dressings and not worry about the dressing going bad. Just mark each tube with a different color Mark-All. The type of plastic used for those tubes sheds the paint with use, but the screw-on caps take regular paint. The tubes are opened at the bottom for refilling and closed with a sliding clamp. They work fine for jam too, or mustard or relish or anything wet or gooey, and are a lot easier for dispensing precise amounts than anything else. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order. As the harried-looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor. "They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!"
>From Hilda As my five-year-old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray." From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."

» H2O

Today in 
1525 The Catholic princes of Germany formed the Dessau 
 League to fight against the Reformation.
1553 Fifteen-year-old Lady Jane Grey was deposed as 
 Queen of England after claiming the crown for nine days. 
 Mary, the daughter of King Henry VIII, was proclaimed Queen.
1788 Prices plunged on the Paris stock market.
1799 The Rosetta Stone, a tablet with hieroglyphic 
 translations into Greek, was found in Egypt.
1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in 
 Seneca Fall, NY. Bloomers were introduced at the 
 convention.
1870 France declared war on Prussia.
1939 Dr. Roy P. Scholz became the first surgeon to 
 use fiberglass sutures.
1942 German U-boats were withdrawn from positions 
off the U.S. Atlantic coast due to effective American 
 anti-submarine countermeasures.
1943 During World War II, more than 150 B-17 and 
 112 B-24 bombers attacked Rome for the first time.
1946 Marilyn Monroe acted in her first screen test.
1975 The Apollo and Soyuz spacecrafts separated after 
 being linked in orbit for two days.
1979 In Nicaragua, the dictatorship of the Somozas 
 was overthrown by the Sandinista National Liberation 
 Front (Frente Sandinista de Liberación Nacional or FSLN).
1982 The U.S. Census Bureau reported that 14% of the 
 population had an income below the official poverty 
 level in 1981.
1984 Geraldine Ferraro was nominated by the Democratic 
 Party to become the first woman from a major political 
 party to run for the office of U.S. Vice-President.
1985 Christa McAuliffe of New Hampshire was chosen to be 
 the first schoolteacher to ride aboard the space shuttle. 
 She died with six others when the Challenger exploded 
 the following year. 
2014  smiled.


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When spammers use your address 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, July 18.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Kentucky jail inmate, who ordered pizza for the cops Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1942 The German Me-262, the first jet-propelled aircraft to fly in combat, made its first flight.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy. --- Janet Long
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The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly! replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
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I was in my car one day listening to a guy on the radio help callers with their home problems. One woman called up hysterical after finding a skunk in her basement. "Leave a trail of breadcrumbs or cat food from your basement to your backyard," suggested the show's host. "That'll get rid of it." An hour later the woman called back, even more upset. "Now I have THREE skunks in my basement!"
Thanks to Barb for this picture from her garden Click on the picture for the large version Echeverie
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Harp, 29, Corbin, Kentucky Pizza Prank Pulled From Kentucky Jail Cell JULY 17--Already in police custody, a Kentucky man decided it was the perfect time to prank the police officer who had arrested him for shoplifting and public intoxication, investigators allege. Michael Harp, 29, was collared Tuesday afternoon and locked up at the police station in Corbin, a city in the state’s southeastern corner. While behind bars, Harp asked for permission to use his cell phone, a request that was granted. Shortly after Harp made a call, a Domino’s delivery worker arrived at the precinct with five pepperoni pizzas that had been purportedly ordered by Captain Coy Wilson, the cop who had earlier arrested Harp. Since Wilson was on the phone when the order arrived, patrolman Jeff Hill--unaware that a prank had been played-- went ahead and paid $40 for the pizzas, according to a criminal citation. Not amused by the pizza prank, officers launched an investigation and quickly linked the pizza order to Harp’s phone. A Domino’s worker told cops that, after receiving the order, they placed a confirmation call to the number. Police allege that Harp “answered as Captain Wilson” when he spoke to the Domino’s employee. The Kentuckian, who had originally faced only misdemeanor counts, was hit with three additional charges, including felony identity theft and impersonating a police officer counts. Harp, who denies the pizza prank, has bonded out of the Whitley County Detention Center. The police citation does not reveal if the five pepperoni pizzas were booked into evidence or subsequently disposed of by officers on duty. Tech Support Pits From: Alex Re: Forged address Dear Webby I get all kinds of mail that has my address forged into the sender address. Since I DO send mail to myself as a fast way to record and file notes, I can't block my own address and spam gets through the same way. How do I filter forged addresses? Alex Dear Alex You will notice that spammers usually use some name other than yours, just your address. Put your name into the sender name field. All email programs have a way of doing that, even OE. Then make a filter that IF the Sender address contains alex234@domain.com AND the sender address does NOT contain "Alex P" then dump the mail automatically, don't even list it. If your address has been assigned and contains your entire first and last name, then make the sender name slightly different, for example by adding a middle initial. If the incoming mail does not have that initial, it gets dumped. To make filters, that use Boolean logic like IF, BUT NOT, you need MailWasher. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Butterfly Net As Bug Catcher No photo, but a great tip. Use a dollar store butterfly net to cover the bug, then use your shoe. No bug spray needed. By Peggy Caligione D. [2] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

The two most important things to the American female are man’s prevention of nuclear war and man’s putting the toilet seat down.
Mothers who have experience in the trenches of family warfare are sometimes even driven to what I call anticipatory parenting. They ask a child a question, he tries to answer, and they say, “You shut up! When I ask you a question, you keep your mouth shut! You think I'm talking to hear myself talk? Answer me!”

» Wrecked Cars

Today in 
0064 The Great Fire of Rome began.
1536 The authority of the pope was declared void in England.
1789 Robespierre, a deputy from Arras, France, decided to 
 back the French Revolution.
1812 Great Britain signed the Treaty of Orebro, making peace 
 with Russia and Sweden.
1830 Uruguay adopted a liberal constitution.
1872 The Ballot Act was passed in Great Britain, providing 
 for secret election ballots.
1914 Six planes of the U.S. Army helped to form an aviation 
 division called the Signal Corps.
1932 The U.S. and Canada signed a treaty to develop the 
 St. Lawrence Seaway.
1935 Ethiopian King Haile Selassie urged his countrymen to 
 fight to the last man against the invading Italian army.
1936 The first Oscar Meyer Wienermobile rolled out of 
 General Body Company’s factory in Chicago, IL.
1936 The Spanish Civil War began as Gen. Francisco Franco 
 led an uprising of army troops based in Spanish North Africa.
1942 The German Me-262, the first jet-propelled aircraft to 
 fly in combat, made its first flight.
1944 U.S. troops captured Saint-Lo, France, ending the 
 battle of the hedgerows.
1944 Hideki Tojo was removed as Japanese premier and war 
 minister due to setbacks suffered by his country in WW II.
1971 New Zealand and Australia announced they would pull 
 their troops out of Vietnam.
2001 A train derailed, involving 60 cars, in a Baltimore 
 train tunnel. The fire that resulted lasted for six days 
 and virtually closed down downtown Baltimore for several 
 days. (Maryland) 
2014  smiled.


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Is Javascript safe? 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, July 17

Thanks Cathi!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to A Florida husband who battered wife on Jet Ski Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1997 After 117 years, the Woolworth Corp. closed its last 400 stores.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her. --- Wilde (1854 - 1900) Treat people as they are, and they will remain that way. Treat them as they can be and you help them become what they are capable of becoming. --- Goethe
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A couple had two little boys ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?" Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?" The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened? The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"
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My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from each other. Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told me he had lent it to his son. Recalling a saying my grandmother used to repeat, I recited, "You should never lend anything to your kids, because you will never get it back." With that, he responded, "Tell you the truth, it's not even my ladder. It's my dad's."
Thanks to Bill for sending this picture! Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Doster, 49 A Florida husband who battered wife on Jet Ski JULY 15--While out jet skiing Sunday afternoon, a married couple got into an argument that turned violent because the woman saw her husband and another male “involved in a sex act together,” according to investigators. The confrontation between Michael Doster, 49, and his spouse of two years resulted in Doster’s arrest for domestic battery. He was released from a Florida jail today after posting $5000 bond on the felony count. As detailed in a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report, Doster and his wife Pamela were on a Sea-Doo jet ski near the Passage Key sandbar at the mouth of Tampa Bay when they began quarreling. Pamela, a deputy noted, brought up the fact that she “saw the defendant and another unknown male involved in a sex act together.” While not specifying when or where this alleged sex act occurred, the cop noted that Pamela reported it involved “giving each other a blow job.” Doster, who was driving the Sea-Doo, allegedly yanked his wife off the jet ski several times, according to the report. “During the last time she was pulled off she hit her head against the side of the jet ski” and refused to get back on the watercraft. Instead, she repaired to the sandbar “and refused to answer his call outs.” When Doster could not locate his wife, he called 911. Pamela, naked except for a life jacket, was subsequently found on the sandbar and transported to safety by rescue workers. A deputy noted that she had a “bruise/bump” on her head, a bruise on her biceps, and a “large swollen area to her left hip area.” She was transported to a local hospital for treatment. Both Doster and his wife were intoxicated, a deputy reported. Tech Support Pits From: Daniel Re: Javascript Dear Webby, do i need javascript if i have sun java installed already? thanks, daniel Dear Daniel You don't install Javascript. Javascript is on web pages, using the SUN Java that you already have installed. You can allow or disallow the use of javascript in your browser's Internet Options. If you don't allow it, a lot of pages won't work right. Javascript has been around for a long time. I used to build shopping carts with it a dozen years ago. Even today, most banking and shopping pages won't work right if you don't allow scripting. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Prescription Bottle Auto Air Freshener I had my husband drill several small holes in the lid. Then I stuffed cotton balls inside and poured scented oils in it. It doesn't leak. I put them in my vehicle to make it smell good. By michele [6] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Sandie for this story: A woman joined a health spa and on her first day, she eagerly joined in on an exercise class. However, when it ended, she went to the front desk and requested cancellation of her membership. When asked why, she replied, "Your floors are so low, I cannot touch my toes!"
Classic! A simple lesson illustrating the difference between the two parties. Fred Thompson and Hillary were walking down the street when they came to a homeless person. The Republican, Fred Thompson, gave the homeless person his business card and told him to come to his office for a job. He then took $20 out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless person. Hillary was very impressed, so when they came to another homeless person, she decided to help. She walked over to the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare office. She then reached into Thompson's pocket and got out $20. She kept $19 for her administrative fees and gave the homeless person $1.

» Tricky Critters

Today in 
1212 The Moslems were crushed in the Spanish crusade.
1453 France defeated England at Castillon, France, which 
 ended the 100 Years' War.
1785 France limited the importation of goods from Britain.
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte surrendered to the British at 
 Rochefort, France.
1821 Spain ceded Florida to the U.S.
1866 Authorization was given to build a tunnel beneath the 
Chicago River. The three-year project cost $512,709.
1898 U.S. troops under General William R. Shafter took 
 Santiago de Cuba during the Spanish-American War.
1917 The British royal family adopted the Windsor name.
1941 Brigadier General Soervell directed Architect G. Edwin 
 Bergstrom to have basic plans and architectural perspectives 
 for an office building that could house 40,000 War Department 
 employees on his desk by the following Monday morning. The 
 building became known as the Pentagon.
1946 Chinese communists opened a drive against the Nationalist 
 army on the Yangtze River.
1955 Disneyland opened in Anaheim, CA.
1960 Francis Gary Powers pled guilty to spying charges in a 
 Moscow court after his U-2 spy plane was shot down over 
 the Soviet Union.
1966 Ho Chi Minh ordered a partial mobilization of North 
 Vietnam forces to defend against American air strikes.
1975 An Apollo spaceship docked with a Soyuz spacecraft 
 in orbit. It was the first link up between the U.S. and 
 Soviet Union.
1979 Nicaraguan President Anastasio Somoza resigned and 
 fled to Miami in exile. (Florida)
1986 The largest bankruptcy filing in U.S. history took 
 place when LTV Corporation asked for court protection 
 from more than 20,000 creditors. LTV Corp. had debts 
 in excess of $4 billion.
1997 After 117 years, the Woolworth Corp. closed its 
 last 400 stores.
1998 Biologists reported that they had deciphered the 
genome (genetic map) of the syphilis bacterium.
2014  smiled.


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Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, July 16

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to Married Teachers Accused Of Sexually Abusing 15-year-old Girl Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 2005 J.K. Rowling's book "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" was released. It was the sixth in the Harry Potter series. The book sold 6.9 million copies on its first day of release.
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There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. --- Doctor Who
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Letter from camp Dear Mom, Our Scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her that he's OK. He can't write because of the cast. I got to ride on one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning. Scoutmaster Webb got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put a gas can on a fire, the gas can will blow up? Billy is going to look weird until his hair grows back. We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Webb gets the car fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked OK when we left. Scoutmaster Webb said that with a car that old you to have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance on it. We think it's a neat car. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride in the tailgate. It gets pretty hot with ten people in a car. Scoutmaster Webb is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. But he only lets him drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks. Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Also, Wade and I threw up. Scoutmaster Webb said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with the food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. I have to go now. We are going into town to mail our letters and buy more bullets and dynamite. Don't worry about anything. We are fine. Love, Johnny
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Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there," said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down ... I think there's yet another one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern ... It seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor. The Goober scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "Do you think it's the light that's attractin' 'em?"
Thanks to Bill for sending this picture! Click on the picture for the large version Lots of good memories of the canyon! I am glad I went there as often as I did, when I could still afford it.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Porter, 27, and, his wife, Blair Porter of Brandon, Mississippi Married Teachers Accused Of Sexually Abusing 15-year-old Girl Two high school softball coaches who are married to each other are accused of having illegal sexual contact with a 15-year-old student on at least two occasions -- including once on school grounds. Michael Porter, 27, and, his wife, Blair Porter, of Brandon, Mississippi, were arrested Friday and each charged with one count of sexual battery. The alleged victim played on the Ridgeland High School softball team, which was coached by Michael Porter. His wife was an assistant coach who also taught at Old Towne Middle School. The case came to light when the student's mother reported her daughter was being contacted by the couple after school hours. The mother believed that it "went well beyond that of a teacher student relationship," Mississippi News Now reports. After obtaining a search warrant, police said they found a large number of texts between the Porters and the student that included sexually explicit language and naked pictures. The teen allegedly told investigators she had two sexual encounters with the Porters, one at their home and one inside a press box at Ridgefield High School, WAPT TV reports. The indictment says the suspects engaged in oral sex with the minor, according to WJTV TV. The girl's mother told investigators she believes the inappropriate behavior may have begun when her daughter was a student at Old Towne Middle School, where Blair Porter was a teacher. Language in the indictment suggests Blair Porter may have arranged the sexual encounters, WDAM TV reports. Bond was set at $25,000 for Michael Porter and $5,000 for Blair Porter, court officials said. Both were released after posting bail, according to WAPT TV. Trial is set for February. If convicted, they each face up to 30 years in prison. Both suspects have been terminated from their jobs, according to the New York Daily News. Tech Support Pits From: Tam Re: Calendar maker Dear Webby, thanks for the humor letter, lovin it everyday, I was wondering if you know of anyplace online that I can print calenders..monthy ones. thanks Tam Dear Tam I just use a spreadsheet to make calendars whenever I neend some, but you can go to http://www.myfreecalendarmaker.com/ and generate and print them right off their site. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Easier Cleaning of S'mores Skewers If you invested in the metal skewers for your s'mores, or just for roasting marshmallows, here's an idea for you: After you've finished roasting the marshmallows for the evening (or afternoon, or whenever), put the skewers points down into a bucket or pitcher filled with 6 inches or so of water and a squirt of dishwashing soap. Let the skewers soak overnight, then scrub them in the morning with a scrubby pad, rinse, and put them away for the next time. Source: Utter frustration after having to clean 60+ skewers before use and then afterwards. They had been put away grungy the year before, and I was determined to NOT do that again! By Eileen M. [56] Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

When my aunt's youngest child was 3, he wanted a curse word that he could use. To appease the kid she told him that he could say, "Dag nabbit." Well, the problem was that when he said it, it came out as, "Damm Wabbit."
Little Johnny went to the store with his grandmother. On the way home, he looked through her bags to see what she had purchased. In one package, Little Johnny found some panty hose and he began to sound out the words "Queen Size." He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed, "WOW! Look Gramma! You're as wide as Mom's bed!"

» Provoking Sculptures

Today in 
1774 Russia and the Ottoman Empire signed the treaty of 
 Kuchuk-Kainardji, ending their six-year war.
1779 American troops under General Anthony Wayne 
 captured Stony Point, NY.
1790 The District of Columbia, or Washington, DC, 
 was established as the permanent seat of the 
 United States Government.
1791 Louis XVI was suspended from office until he agreed 
 to ratify the constitution.
1875 The new French constitution was finalized.
1912 Bradley A. Fiske patented the airplane torpedo.
1926 The first underwater color photographs appeared 
 in "National Geographic" magazine. The pictures had 
 been taken near the Florida Keys.
1935 Oklahoma City became the first city in the U.S. 
 to install parking meters.
1942 French police officers rounded up 13,000 Jews and 
 held them in the Winter Velodrome. The round-up was part 
 00of an agreement between Pierre Laval and the Nazis. 
 Germany had agreed to not deport French Jews if France 
 arrested foreign Jews.
1944 Soviet troops occupied Vilna, Lithuania, in their 
 drive toward Germany.
1945 The United States detonated the first atomic bomb 
 in a test at Alamogordo, NM.
1950 The largest crowd in sporting history was 199,854. 
 They watched the Uruguay defeat Brazil in the World Cup 
 soccer finals in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
1951 J.D. Salinger's novel "The Catcher in the Rye" was 
 first published.
1957 Marine Major John Glenn set a transcontinental speed 
 record when he flew a jet from California to New York in 
 3 hours, 23 minutes and 8 seconds.
1969 Apollo 11 blasted off from Cape Kennedy, FL, and began 
 the first manned mission to land on the moon.
1979 Saddam Hussein became president of Iraq after forcing 
 Hasan al-Bakr to resign.
1981 After 23 years with the name Datsun, executives of 
 Nissan changed the name of their cars to Nissan.
2005 J.K. Rowling's book "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood 
 Prince" was released. It was the sixth in the Harry Potter 
 series. The book sold 6.9 million copies on its first day 
 of release.
2014  smiled.


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Calendar Maker 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, July 15
By the time you read this, I will be in Calgary on an
operating table for the cataract operation on my left eye.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Texas couple who kept son locked away for years Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1965 The spacecraft Mariner IV sent back the first close-up pictures of the planet Mars.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
In the United States there is more space where nobody is than where anybody is. That is what makes America what it is. --- Gertrude Stein (1874 - 1946) "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." --- Albert Einstein
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?" The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?" The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to brag to?"
Fix, Clean & Speed Up your PC! Boost Computer Speed Delete Junk Files & Clean Up Windows® Wipe Private Data & Internet Logs

Thanks to Dave for this story: A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of our largest accounts. He asked my help in putting it into operation. At first, he handled most of the work. Eventually, though, he asked me to help with the last phase of the training. When I sat down with one woman and told her I would be showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed with relief. "I'm so glad you're teaching me instead of him." Surprised, I said that my colleague was far more experienced than I was. "Yes," she said, "but I feel much more comfortable with you. I get nervous around smart people."
Click on the picture for the large version Hubble shot towards "Hand Of God"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jenifer Elise Thyssen, 40, and Dane Andrew Thyssen, 39 DRIPPING SPRINGS, Texas Texas couple kept son locked away for years A man arrested for burglary in a Central Texas town told police he had been held captive for at least four years by his adoptive parents in a garage apartment locked on the outside, authorities said. Jenifer Elise Thyssen, 40, and Dane Andrew Thyssen, 39, were being held Friday at the Hays County jail. They were arrested Wednesday on kidnapping charges. Hays County sheriff's deputies say the couple told them they confined 22-year-old Koystya Thyssen in an apartment at their home in Dripping Springs "for the safety" of their other children, according to the arrest affidavit. Court documents don't indicate how many children were in the couple's care. Authorities began to investigate the case after Koystya Thyssen was arrested for burglarizing a neighbor's home after using a screwdriver to escape the apartment. Sheriff's deputies said the apartment had a toilet, sink and microwave, and that Koystya Thyssen told them his adoptive parents gave him a box of dry and frozen foods once a week. He said he was allowed to leave once a week to see a counselor, but was otherwise confined to the apartment. "Koystya stated he believes it's wrong how he is treated but doesn't say anything," the affidavit says. "Koystya advised he had no friends nor any family in the United States." The affidavit does not indicate where he is originally from. Dripping Springs, a town of around 1,900 residents, is about 20 miles west of Austin. Jenifer and Dane Thyssen each were being held on $350,000 bond. Koystya Thyssen was being held at the county jail Friday on a burglary of a habitation charge. His bond was set at $10,000. No attorney was listed for him. Tech Support Pits From: Tam Re: Calendar maker Dear Webby, thanks for the humor letter, lovin it everyday, I was wondering if you know of anyplace online that I can print calenders..monthy ones. thanks Tam Dear Tam I just use a spreadsheet to make calendars whenever I neend some, but you can go to http://www.myfreecalendarmaker.com/ and generate and print them right off their site. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Odors From the Microwave Lots of food smells linger in the microwave for a long time. To combat those odors and leave your microwave smelling fresh, use lemon essential oil. Just put a cup of water into a microwave-safe glass container and add 4 drops of lemon oil. Microwave the bowl on high for 2 minutes; keep the microwave door closed until the water is cooled a little, about 10 minutes. By JodiT from Aurora, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Sandie for this story: At the banquet of their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage of such a long duration. "Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your wife"? Tom responded, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd stayed single!"
A flight attendant on a cross-country flight nervously announced about 30 minutes outbound from LA, "I don't know how this happened, but we have 103 passengers aboard and only 40 dinners." When the passengers' muttering had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his meal so someone else can eat, will receive free drinks for the length of the flight." Her next announcement came an hour later. "If anyone wants to change his mind, we still have 29 dinners available!"

» Provoking Sculptures

Today in 
1099 Jerusalem fell to the Crusaders.
1410 Poles and Lithuanians defeated the Teutonic knights 
 at Tannenburg, Prussia.
1789 The electors of Paris set up a "Commune" to live without 
 the authority of the government.
1806 Lieutenant Zebulon Pike began his western expedition from 
 Fort Belle Fountaine, near St. Louis, MO.
1813 Napoleon Bonaparte's representatives met with the Allies 
 in Prague to discuss peace terms.
1834 Lord Napier of England arrived in Macao, China as the first 
 chief superintendent of trade.
1885 In New York, the Niagara Reservation State Park opened.
1888 "Printers’ Ink" was first sold.
1901 Over 74,000 Pittsburgh steel workers went on strike.
1904 The first Buddhist temple in the U.S. was established in 
 Los Angeles, CA.
1916 In Seattle, WA, Pacific Aero Products was incorporated 
 by William Boeing. The company was later renamed Boeing Co.
1918 The Second Battle of the Marne began during World War I.
1922 The duck-billed platypus arrived in America, direct from 
 Australia. It was exhibited at the Bronx Zoo in New York City.
1942 The first supply flight from India to China over the 'Hump' 
 was carried to help China's war effort.
1958 Five thousand U.S. Marines landed in Beirut, Lebanon, to 
 protect the pro-Western government. The troops withdrew 
 October 25, 1958.
1965 The spacecraft Mariner IV sent back the first close-up 
 pictures of the planet Mars.
1968 Commercial air travel began between the U.S. and the 
 U.S.S.R., when the first plane, a Soviet Aeroflot jet, 
 landed at Kennedy International Airport in New York.
1987 Taiwan ended thirty-seven years of martial law.
2009 "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" was released 
 in theaters in the U.S. It was the sixth movie in the series. 
2014  smiled.


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How to find your IP number? 




Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, July 14

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Today's International Bonehead Award goes to a Missouri man, who shot his wife, because he got tired of her. Details at Boneheads From the History section at the bottom: Today, in 1946 Dr. Benjamin Spock’s "The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care" was first published.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them! --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)
Vipre Security 2014 for the whole family! (Opens in a new tab, so that you don't lose this page)
A man once counseled his son that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his porridge every morning. The son did this religiously, and he lived to the age of 93. When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great-grandchildren, and a 15 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
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Thanks to Corrine for this story: When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my mother's wedding dress. The day she tried it on for the first time I was sitting with Mother in the living room as Andrea descended the stairs. The gown was a perfect fit on her petite frame. Mother's eyes welled with tears. I put my arm around her. "You're not losing a daughter," I reminded her in time- honored fashion. "You're gaining a son." "Oh, forget about that BS!" she wailed with a sob. "I used to fit into that dress!"
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Bobby Leonard, 59, Naylor, Missouri. Missouri man shot wife because he was 'tired of her'. When Bobby Leonard was questioned about shooting his wife, Carolyn, in the shoulder on Saturday, he didn't mince words. Leonard, 59, allegedly confessed to the crime and said he did it because he was "tired of her," according to the Southeast Missourian newspaper. The shooting occurred Saturday morning after the couple started arguing in their trailer home in Naylor, Missouri. Ripley County Cpl. Earl Wheetley responded a call about a "female being shot by her husband" and found Carolyn Leonard "laying on the front porch covered in blood," according to his probable-cause affidavit. The victim told officers that her husband shot her. When Leonard exited the trailer, he was arrested, according to the Associated Press. After Wheetley handcuffed Leonard, the officer asked the suspect if he had any weapons him. He said Leonard replied, "No, the gun is in the house on the counter." Wheetley said after Leonard was read his Miranda rights, the suspect asked if his wife had died. When Wheetley asked what happened, Leonard allegedly told him, "I got tired of her, and shot her." Ripley County Sheriff Ron Barnett said the victim was flown to a Memphis, Tennessee hospital for treatment and is reportedly in stable condition. Leonard was charged with first-degree domestic assault and armed criminal action or first-degree domestic assault. He was being held at the Doniphan City Jail in lieu of $150,000 cash bond, according to RawStory.com. Tech Support Pits From: Brook Re: IP number Dear Webby, I need to find my IP number each time I log on from a different hotel, to get my outgoing email autyhenticated. What is the easiest way to find that IP number? Thanks Brook Dear Brook Just go to httop://webby.com/ip That page will tell you, and you can just highlight and copy the IP number from there. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Outdoor Movie Night We have weekly movie night outside. We set up a DVD projector to show the movie on the garage door. Every week someone else picks the movie and the snacks. Everyone has a great time. By Margaret from Hicksville, NY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.

A Yuppie was sent a ransom note saying that he was to bring $50,000 to the 17th hole of the country club at 10 o'clock the next day if he ever wanted to see his wife alive again. He didn't arrive until almost 12:30. A masked man stepped out from behind some bushes and growled, "What took ya so long? You're over two hours late." "Hey ! Give me a break." whined the Yuppie. "I have a 27 handicap."
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

» Funny Cats 49:

Today in 
1223 In France, Louis VIII succeeded his father, Philip Augustus.
1430 Joan of Arc, taken prisoner by the Burgundians in May, 
 was handed over to Pierre Cauchon, the bishop of Beauvais.
1456 Hungarians defeated the Ottomans at the Battle of Belgrade.
1536 France and Portugal signed the naval treaty of Lyons, which 
 aligned them against Spain.
1789 French Revolution began when Parisians stormed the Bastille 
 prison and released the seven prisoners inside.
1798 The U.S. Congress passed the Sedition Act. The act made it 
 a federal crime to write, publish, or utter false or malicious 
 statements about the U.S. government.
1868 Alvin J. Fellows patented the tape measure.
1900 European Allies retook Tientsin, China, from the 
 rebelling Boxers.
1911 Harry N. Atwood landed an airplane on the lawn of the 
 White House to accept an award from U.S. President William Taft.
1914 Robert H. Goddard patented liquid rocket-fuel.
1933 All German political parties except the Nazi Party 
 were outlawed.
1940 A force of German Ju-88 bombers attacked Suez, Egypt, 
 from bases in Crete.
1941 Vichy French Foreign Legionaries signed an armistice 
 in Damascus, which allowed them to join the Free French 
 Foreign Legion.
1945 American battleships and cruisers bombarded the 
 Japanese home islands for the first time.
1946 Dr. Benjamin Spock’s "The Common Sense Book of 
 Baby and Child Care" was first published.
1951 The first sports event to be shown in color, on 
 CBS-TV, was the Molly Pitcher Handicap at Oceanport, NJ.
1958 The army of Iraq overthrew the monarchy.
1965 The American space probe Mariner 4 flew by Mars, and 
sent back photographs of the planet.
1998 Los Angeles sued 15 tobacco companies for $2.5 billion 
 over the dangers of secondhand smoke.
2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 10 million applications 
 downloaded.
2009 The iTunes Music Store reached 1.5 billion applications 
downloaded. 
2014  smiled.


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