MSN email problems 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  November 17, 2009

"We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others by their acts." --- Harold Nicholson "When the ax entered the forest, the trees said, 'The handle is one of us!'" --- Turkish proverb Laugh, and the world laughs with you, snore, and you sleep alone. --- Anthony Burgess
Psychology was tried on a difficult hiccough case. All simple remedies had failed and the physician, knowing that his patient was an old tightwad, resorted to a stratagem. He administered a new, cheap medicine. This drew from the patient an inquiry as to its contents. "Chiefly musk," said the doctor. "But isn't that the expensive stuff they use in perfumes?" "Yes," said the doctor. "Each dose of this costs thirty dollars." The hiccoughs immediately stopped.
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."
Morris goes to visit his cardiologist in follow up after his life threatening heart attack. The doctor explains to Morris that he would be able to resume his active sex life as soon as he could climb three flights of stairs without becoming winded. Morris listens attentively and then says,"I haven't been able to walk 3 flights of stairs without getting winded since high school. Guess I'll have to stick to women who live on the ground floor for the rest of my life."
Thanks to my dad for this picture of a traditional public trough, that he took in late September on a hiking trail up in the mountains.:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to the NJ Turnpike Authority Turkey wins TRENTON, N.J. — Authorities have stopped trying to capture a wild turkey that calls Interchange 14B on the New Jersey Turnpike home. The bird has been causing havoc for toll collectors and motorists as it runs across toll booths, plays in traffic, and sits atop toll collectors' parked cars. Turnpike Authority spokesman Joe Orlando said efforts over the weekend to catch the turkey were unsuccessful, and for the time being, the bird will be left alone. Collectors will have to continue putting cones on their parked cars because the turkey likes to jump on the cars, and motorists will continue dodging the bird. The Turnpike Authority hopes the turkey will move away in spring, and that no car hts anything expensive while trying to avoid running over the turkey.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Betty Boop Re: MSN Problems I am not receiving your messages Why ?? Be Happy, Betty Boop Dear Betty Boop Because MSN censors your subscription. Try screeching a temper tantrum at the Taliban, and get them to smarten up. Once your subscription has entered the MSN server, there is nothing more that I can do about it. If you are too shy to argue with the Taliban at MSN Support, you can get a free Gmail address. Gmail is reliable and free. Have FUN! DearWebby
There was an elderly southern widow who lived in a large mansion. She was feeling generous when it came towards Easter, so she called up the local military base, and asked to speak with the lieutenant. "Please send up four nice young men to eat dinner here on Easter, but please, don't send any Jews. Please, no Jews." The lieutenant replied, "No problem ma'am, and I am sure I speak for the army when I say we all appreciate your kindness." Well, Easter rolled around, and the widow went to answer the door when it rang. She was surprised to see four of the blackest boys that anyone had ever seen, especially in the South. "But... But... There must be some mistake," she stammered. One of them replied, "No ma'am, Lieutenant Morris Goldstein doesn't make mistakes."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Measure Ingredients Ahead of Time When making a big meal, like Thanksgiving dinner, have everything measured out ahead of time before you start cooking. Saves lots of time! By Robin from Washington, IA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A patient, while recovering in the hospital from a heart attack, met this over-zealous evangelist. After listening politely for a over a half hour on how thankful he should be to have been spared, and how he should repent at once, he asked if all of his sins had flashed before his eyes during the heart attack. The patient responded, "Don't be ridiculous, the attack had only lasted 6 hours."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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Frustrated at always being corrected by her husband, Gina decided the next time it happened, she would have a comeback. That moment finally arrived, and she was ready. "You know," she challenged, "even a broken clock is right once a day." Leroy looked at her and replied, "Twice a day." He survived, the alarm clock didn't.

» Cars of yesteryear
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Windows changing languages 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  November 16, 2009

"You are only as strong as your purpose, therefore let us choose reasons to act that are big bold righteous and eternal." --- Barry Munro
A man appears at a woman's front door and announces, "Madam, I'm the piano tuner." "I didn't call for a tuner," the piano-playing woman replies. "I know, lady," the man says. "Your neighbor did."
Friday, we had a tornado drill. We were in the generator pit under underneath the garage and there's a PA announcement "This is a tornado drill. Please move quickly away from any and all windows." Somebody yelled out: "Quick, get to a DOS prompt!"
An enormously wealthy 65-year-old man falls in love with a woman in her 20s and is contemplating a proposal. "Do you think she'd marry me if I tell her I'm 45?" he asks a friend. "With her, your chances are better," says the friend, "if you tell her you're 90 and have a heart problem."
Thanks to Roland for this picture: No Gullible Warming in Colorado either.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Veletta Cuba Newman, 31, of Bluff City, Tennessee Woman who mistook cop for Sonic car hop faces DUI ELIZABETHTON, Tenn. (AP) - A woman who mistook a police officer for a car hop at a Sonic drive-in was charged with DUI and possession of drug paraphernalia. A caller to 911 Saturday reported the woman nearly struck several vehicles before pulling into the drive-in. The Johnson City Press reported Elizabethton Police Officer Sarah Ellison found the woman slumped over the steering wheel. When Ellison tried to get the woman's attention, the woman handed her a $20 bill, continuing to offer it even after she identified herself as an officer. The woman was arrested and the officer found a syringe, a spoon with white powdery residue and numerous bottles of prescription medicine in the car. A hearing was set for next April, and since they don't really want to put up with her until then, her bail was reduced to $1000, giving her a chance to add more charges between now and then..
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dee Re: XP or W7 ? Dear Webby. Looking at buying a mini notebook. What is the difference/pros/cons between Windows XP (which I use now) and Windows 7 Starter? Thanks. Mr. Dee Dear Mr Dee XP works well and reliably and is a good general purpose OS. Linux is very fast and reliable for getting actual work done, but unless you have a Penguin (Linux User) as a friend and mentor, can be time consuming for vague goofing around and experimenting. Like UNIX, it is more work oriented, and a lot of newer play stuff doesn't have Linux versions. Vista is slow and buggy, but machines with Vista pre-loaded are subsidized and therefore usually cheaper. W7 SP2 might be OK, in 2012, but it's too early to tell. Ask me again some time after the next presidential election. They haven't even fixed most of the Vista problems yet, and if you want the machine for getting work done, it is definitely way too early to become an unpaid tester for W7. Have FUN! DearWebby
A lawyer was cross-examining a witness: "You have just testified that you heard the shot at exactly 11:32 p.m.? How did you know what time it was? Did you look at your watch?" "No," the witness said. "I looked at the sundial in the garden." "That's absurd," screamed the lawyer. "How could you tell time by a sundial at 11:32 at night?" "I had a flashlight," the witness said.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Thanksgiving Weekend to Sort and Donate Extra Stuff Thanksgiving weekend is a great time to go through all you're grateful to have, and donate as much as you can! Since so many of us have a lot of time off for Thanksgiving, it's a good time to go through stuff and see all you've been blessed with. If you're like us, you've been blessed with an abundance, even if you mostly buy used stuff in the first place! So, if you're bored between now and the shopping frenzy of the weekend, consider sorting through it all. Craft supplies, toys, clothes, books - in this season of spending and plenty, there's lots of folks who'll be doing their holiday shopping at thrift stores. If you can, donate generously. It clears space for you and gives back to your community. And, seeing what you're donating can even help you choose purchases during the upcoming New Year a bit more wisely. By Dorrie from Norman, OK Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A travelling salesman finds himself stranded in the tiniest town in Australia. He knocks on the door of a little hotel. "Sorry, we don't have a spare room," says the manager, "but you're welcome to share with a little red-headed schoolteacher, if that's okay." "Oh, that'll be great," says the bloke, grinning from ear to ear."And don't worry, I'll be a real gentleman." "Just as well," says the manager. "So will the little red-headed schoolteacher."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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PUN WARNING: At a church meeting the topic was "Burial or Cremation?" Two of the people got rather worked up. One said to the other, "If you have yourself cremated, all you will be doing is making an ash of yourself!" The other replied, "Well, I'm told that petroleum comes from fossilized bones, so if you have yourself buried all you will be doing is making a fuel of yourself!" GROANER ALERT: What disease can you get from kissing birds? Chirpes! (A canarial disease, but it's untweetable.)

» World ining
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New browser windows or tabs for new links 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  November 15, 2009

"Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own." --- Doug Larson "If you want to recapture your youth, just cut off her allowance." --- Al Bernstein The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. --- Mark Twain
A father, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family at the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7 year old daughter out for a drive in the car. One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold that he really didn't feel like driving at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and decided that for this Sunday she would take their daughter out. They returned just before lunch and the little girl ran upstairs to see her father. "Well" the father asked, "did you enjoy your ride with Mommy?" "Oh yes Daddy" the girl replied, "and do you know what.......we didn't see a single bastid or dingbat, 'cause Mommy was doing the dingbat stuff herself and scared them all away!"
A Texan is bragging to a Rhode Islander. "In Texas," he drawls, "you can get on a train, ride all day long, and still be in Texas by nightfall." "Well", replies the Yankee, "We have some rather slow trains in Rhode Island too, but none that are THAT slow."
Kathrina was visiting the modern art museum and turned to an attendant standing nearby. "This," she sneered, "I suppose, is one of those hideous representations you call modern art?" "No madam," replied the attendant. "That one's called a mirror."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Shawn Montero, Pompano beach, Florida Look before you leak Florida) Traffic was moving slowly on southbound I-95. Shawn Montero had left a Pompano Beach bar with three friends, and now all four were stuck in traffic. You don't buy beer, you just rent it, and Shawn couldn't wait another moment to relieve himself. "I need to take a leak." Traffic was deadlocked, so the waterlogged man climbed out, put his hand on the divider, and jumped over the low concrete wall... only to fall 65 feet to his death. "He probably thought there was a road, but there wasn't," said a Fort Lauderdale police spokesman. His mother shared her thoughts. "Shawn didn't do a whole lot for a living. He got along on his charm, just like his father." Though his death was tragic, it proves the old adage. "Look before you leak!"
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ellen Re: New browser window for new links Dear Webby. I managed to set the file explorer to open new windows for jumping into deeper or different folders, but I can't seem to set a browser to do that consistently. Someimes it is impossible to get back, and I have to search through the history, log in again, etc. What's the trick? Ellen Dear Ellen Just hold down the SHIFT key when you click on a link, and it will open a fresh browser or fresh tab, without losing or affecting the original page. Have FUN! DearWebby
In his younger days our golden retriever Catcher often ran away when he had the chance. His veterinarian's office was about a mile down the road, and Catcher would usually go there. The office staff knew him and would call me to come pick him up. One day I called the vet to make an appointment for Catcher's yearly vaccine. "Will you bring him," asked the receptionist, "or will he come on his own?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freshen House While You Vacuum Here's a good way to freshen your house while you vacuum. When putting a new vacuum cleaner bag in your machine, place a cotton ball soaked in clove or you favorite scented oil inside the bag (or in the plastic container on the bag-less models). It fills your home with a nice aroma and doesn't get into the carpet, or harm pets or children. By Carolyn from Floral Park, NY The little cloth baggies filled with cedar shavings, that you put into linen trunks to banish pests, work great too. For the Christmas season you can fill a cloth baggie with tree or wreath trimmings. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

On a visit to Chicago, Jill was eager to visit a posh department store about a dozen blocks from their hotel. Her husband obligingly hailed a cab. They got in and he told the driver, "My wife wants to go to Neiman Marcus." The cabby looked over his shoulder at us and said, "And the gentleman? Does he want to go to the bank or the pawn shop?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
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During a sermon the pastor stated that money wasn't important in the afterlife, because in heaven, there is no money. One parishioner loudly stage-whispered to his wife, "Did you hear that, Maude? We're already in heaven."

» Worldwide Telescope
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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Wrong sending time on email 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  November 14, 2009

Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. --- Scottish Proverb Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. --- H. L. Mencken
A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?" ----- Four fonts walk into a bar The barman says "Hey - get out! We don't want your type in here" ----- Being a bit dyslexic, I walk into bras.
Things only women understand: Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes. (Actually, some of us men have noticed that last one too!)
Nancy stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, "I have a complaint!" "Yes, ma'am?" "I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!" "What was wrong with it?" asked the librarian. "It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!" The librarian nodded and said, "Ahh. You must be the person who took our phone book."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Joel M. Small, 20, in Gainesville, Florida Fresh from prison, man charged with break-in at same house A man released from prison in September in connection with thefts from a specific Gainesville home has been charged with theft from the same house. Joel M. Small, 20, was arrested by Gainesville Police on Thursday and charged with burglary and grand theft for a Sept. 29 break-in at a house in the 300 block of Northeast 19th Drive. According to Corporal Courtnay Roberts, the break-in happened at the same home Small was convicted of targeting in early 2008. According to Florida Department of Corrections records, Small was released from state prison on Sept. 20 after serving an 18 month sentence for multiple counts of grand theft, trafficking in stolen property and providing false information to a pawn broker about items taken from that house and pawned. On Wednesday, Roberts arrested Small on charges of breaking into the bedroom of a 77-year-old woman, stealing $4 worth of quarters and 11 pairs of athletic shoes worth more than $1,400. Roberts said Small was connected to the break-in based on blood and fingerprints left behind at the scene. Also connecting Small to the recent break-in was a witness, who told police he saw Small wearing shoes taken from that home. Mugshot Article
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dianne Re: Wrong time on email Dear Webby. The clock on my computer shows the correct time, but people, who receive my email, complain that it shows a time that has not happened yet, a sending time some hours later than when they already read it. The same thing happens whether I use Outlook Express or Outlook. How do I fizz that? Dianne Dear Dianne You can't blame Outlook or OE for that one. Your time zone is set wrong. Double-click the clock in the right bottom corner, and change the time zone to where you currently are. Then, while in there, synchronize the clock with Internet time. After that your emails will show the correct sending time, and people will stop razzing you about being in their future. Have FUN! DearWebby
In the washroom in the airport I saw this handwritten sign posted over one of those hot air hand dryers: "Please push button and listen for a short message from the President."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Buy at Garage Sales and Sell on eBay I love eBay and have been very lucky at finding valuable items to sell on ebay at garage sales. My latest "coup", a Getzen trumpet that I paid $25 for, and sold on eBay for $750. I invested $120 in having the trumpet professionally cleaned and checked out. I offered free next-day delivery with buy-it-now, and sold the trumpet in four days. Including the high cost of the shipping, and the ebay/paypal fees, I still netted almost $500! By Virgil from Jonesboro, AR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

An American teacher asked one of her pupils, "What's the nation's capital?" The reply was, "Washington DC." On being asked what the 'DC' stood for, the pupil added, "Dot com!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
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Jeff goes in to see the manager. "I have to have a raise, boss," the man says. "There are three other companies after me." "Is that so?" the manager says. "What companies are after you?" "The electric company, the telephone company and the gas company."

» Earth Album
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Yahoo censoring subscriptions 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  November 13, 2009
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support fro the troops!

On Friday, the 13th, .... It is bad luck to be superstitious. --- Andrew W. Mathis Wear the old coat and buy the new book. --- Austin Phelps Never fear the want of business. A man who qualifies himself well for his calling, never fails of employment. --- Thomas Jefferson
A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, "We've got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning." Her husband replied, "Well, lots of dogs can do that." The wife responded, "But we have never subscribed to any papers!"
Latest news reports advise that a cell of 4 terrorists has been operating in Merseyside, Liverpool. Police advised earlier today that 3 of the 4 have been detained. The Merseyside Regional Police Commissioner stated that the terrorists Bin Sleepin, Bin Drinkin and Bin Fightin have been arrested on welfare fraud issues. The Police advise further that they can find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin, in the area. Police are confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin will be very easy to spot in their community.
Our business professor was lecturing about different ways to bill customers. He asked, "Who can give me an example of a system where you are billed before you actually receive your goods?" One student piped up, "Tuition!"
Thanks to Joan for this:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Joshua Basso Tampa man calls 911, asks for sex; he gets jail instead TAMPA — Joshua Basso said his cell phone ran out of minutes Wednesday, so he called the one number that he knew is always free — 911 — with an unusual request. He wanted someone to have sex with him. When 911 operators hung up on him, he called back four times, police said. Fifteen minutes after his last call, police arrested Basso at his home, at 4202 N Nebraska Ave., on charges of making a false 911 call. He was taken to the Hillsborough County Jail, where he remains without bail. Basso has been arrested a dozen times in Hillsborough on charges including grand theft of a motor vehicle, violation of probation, domestic violence battery, possession of marijuana, trespassing and burglary, jail records show.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Susan Re: Censorship on Yahoo Dear Webby. I am so confused. I no longer receive your webby letter anymore what the heck did I do?? or undo?? thanks Susan Dear Susan Your subscription has been sent out to you every night. You will have to contact the Taliban at Yahoo and get them to stop censoring your subscription, or else get a respectable email address on the side. For example, gmail is free, 100% reliable, and you can use it at work without pulling anything down into the company computer. Have FUN! DearWebby
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers. He said, "Yes, I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three?" asked the teacher. "Four," says little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?" Little Johnny smiles and says, "A jack."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recycle Carpet in Your Flowerbed Cut carpet in the shape you want your flower bed to be. Lay the carpet face down and cover with mulch. You can use less mulch and it will last for years. When you are ready to plant, cut an X and plant. This is not organic for your vegetable garden but works great for flowerbeds. By Laura from Spartangurg, SC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A perfectionist teacher demands the very best of all of her pupils. So it is only to be expected that she would get furious when one little fellow hands in a sloppily done homework paper. "This is the worst essay it has been my misfortune to read," the woman says through clenched teeth. "It has so many mistakes. I can't understand how one person could have made all these mistakes." "It wasn't just one person," the boy replies defensively. "My mom helped me."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the confirmation request
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A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity; looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. Driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!" The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it, man! You don't stand a chance of hitting her from here!"

» Biscuit City
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Can't send mail on High Speed connection 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  November 12, 2009

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do. --- Dale Carnegie It is bad luck to be superstitious. --- Andrew W. Mathis
[a] The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. On the other hand, the French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans. [c] Conclusion: Eat what you like. It's speaking English that kills you.
That reminds me..... Because of the anti-smoking propaganda and restrictive laws, the percentage of the population that smokes has decreased. Now, if there was any relation between smoking and cancer, the percentage of people who get cancer should theoretically have decreased at exactly the same rate. It didn't. It INCREASED! OK, so what HAS increased at the same rate as cancer ? Taxes on tobacco products. Kinda makes you think, eh ?
Thanks to Dianne for this: Westminster bridge, London… At noon, a strange phenomenon happens when sunlight passes through the balustrade of the bridge, forming a small army of….. well……see for yourself!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Samuel Botchvaroff, 24 in Oakland, California E. Bay Car Thief Steals Car To Go To Court A 24-year-old Oakland man is under arrest after authorities say he stole a car to make a court appearance on an auto theft charge. California Highway Patrol investigator Chris Linehan said he arrested Samuel Botchvaroff Tuesday as he sat inside a stolen 2000 Range Rover at the Vallejo courthouse. Botchvaroff had just left his arraignment on auto theft charges stemming from an Oct. 31 arrest. Linehan said the Range Rover's LoJack system helped him locate the vehicle, which had been stolen from Oakland earlier Tuesday morning. Authorities say Botchvaroff told officers his car had been impounded, and he had no other way to get to his arraignment. He was booked into Solano County Jail on suspicion of auto theft and possession of stolen property.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Larry Re: Can't send out on High Speed connection Dear Webby. I appreciate all the info you give out to people, and mabye you can help me. I have incredimail as my email client. I can receieve email, but cannot send out unless I log into my dial up. I have highspeed network connection and Dial up. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Larry Dear Larry The problem is not on your side. You will have to haggle that out with your DSL or cable provider. Hopefully they use UNIX o Linux, and not Microsoft Server. On UNIX and Linux it's easy to set up email users and authenticate them properly. I have quite a few clients, like for example Walter, the Stonecraver, who travel a lot. I routinely authenticate him in airport lounges and even on airplanes. But we use UNIX. With Microsoft Server they would need a tech who can read beyond page 1 of the instructions. Those are apparently scarce, and they are more likely to give you the runaround and tell you to use their webmail. It CAN be done, though! Before you raise your voice too much, check your contract with them and make sure that your DSL deal includes email. Have FUN! DearWebby
Two city swingers were walking in the country when one of them spotted a bug walking across the road. "What kind of bug is that?" he asked his companion. The companion leaned over and looked at the bug. "It's a Lady bug." The first man looked at the bug again, then at his friend, and said: "Man, you sure got good eyes."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No new tip today Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

At a golf course, four men approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road and bike path fenced off on the left. The first golfer teed off and hooked the ball in that direction. But the ball went over the fence and bounced off the bike path onto the road, where it hit the tire of a moving bus and was knocked back on to the fairway. As they all stood in silent amazement, one man finally asked him, "How on earth did you do that?" He shrugged his shoulders and said, "You have to know the bus schedule."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Lissa went to see a psychiatrist about her husband (he wouldn't go with her). "Doctor, my husband, Kurt, has this problem. Almost every night now he's dreaming he's a refrigerator!" "My dear, that is not really a problem! A lot of people dream that they are somebody or something unusual." Lissa leans forward as she softly whispers this confidence: "But you see doctor it is also a problem for me! Kurt sleeps with his mouth open and his little light keeps me awake!"

» Toothpick Art
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Device monitor has stopped working 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  November 11, 2009
Remembrance Day / Veterans Day
Remember the heroes who died for our country!
A Pittance of time

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain." --- Dolly Parton In literature as in love, we are astonished at what is chosen by others. --- Andre Maurois
His wife phoned Abe in the office and said: "Darling, come home early, we are going to have my mother for dinner." "Good" replied Abe, "make sure she's well done!".
The plane was only half-full. When an attractive young woman asked if the seat next to mine was free, my male ego soared. Soon we were chatting pleasantly, and she told me it was her first flight. "Mom said to sit next to someone I thought I could trust," she confessed nervously. "And you look just like my dad."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Mark Alan Clair, 43 and Shannon Blake McAlister, 42 in Yukon, Oklahoma Police Say 911 Call from stolen phone Led to Drug Bust By Rusty Surette, NEWS 9 YUKON, Oklahoma -- Yukon police said a big drug bust was made possible thanks to an accidental call to 911. Yukon dispatchers said they got the call last week from a cell phone. Dispatchers thought it was just another accidental call, but instead of hanging up, they stayed on the line and listened to the conversation in the background. "We could hear two men talking in the background," said Yukon Cpl. Shane Ingram. "They were talking about, in detail, about drug deals." Immediately, police began tracking the call and the conversation never stopped. Dispatchers were able to use 911 mapping technology to pinpoint where the call was coming from. Officers say when they knocked on the door, the men inside, Mark Clair and Shannon McAlister, were shocked. A cell phone crammed in a coat pocket had accidentally dialed 911 and now they were frantically trying to hide their stash. "What I guess he didn't realize was that during the shuffling and trying to hide it, they didn't get it all hidden and there was plenty in plain view,” said Cpl. Ingram Inside the home in the 1300 block of Summerton Place police found Xanax, Hydrocondone, Oxycontin, Ecstasy and marijuana. Rough estimates put the value of the drugs at $20,000, but the story Yukon officers now have is priceless. Mark Alan Clair, 43, and Shannon Blake McAlister, 42, were both taken into custody and face a long list of charges including possession of controlled dangerous substances and intent to distribute narcotics. Police said the phone that placed the 911 call was a stolen cell phone.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ruby Re: Device monitor has stopped working Dear Webby, Thanks so much for your humor/news letter - it always provides the need for laughs! Once again, I have a question about my computer. Just remember I am pretty illeterate as I'm sure my question show! Within the last few days, a message shows up when starting the computer that "the Device monitor has stopped working" Just now another message shows up that "Internet Explorer has stopped working" What's up with these messages? I have McAffee, what else is needed?? Thanks so much for all you do! Ruby Dear Ruby That seems to be a Vista or W7 "feature". You will have to ask Microsoft about that one. Have FUN! DearWebby
When Lisa noticed a broken vise in the trash can, she decided to buy her husband a new one for his birthday. She went to the hardware store and asked the salesman, "Do you have any heavy-duty vises?" "Sorry, ma'am," he replied. "I gave them all up when I got caught."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make a Keepsake of Old T-Shirts My daughter had two old camp shirts. One was a tie-die and the other had the name of the camp. They were too small and had a couple of stains. After washing, I turned the tie-died one into a small pillow. I cut the camp name out of the other shirt. Before I stuffed the pillow I sewed on the camp name. Now my daughter has a wonderful keepsake of her camp time! By SA from Georgia Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The young construction worker was boasting that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of his older co-workers. Finally, the old guy decided he'd had enough and said to the youngster, "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is? I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the braggart said. "Let's see you do your stuff!" The old man reached out and grabbed a wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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When a guy's printer began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told him he might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job himself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, he asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?" "Actually, it is my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make a LOT more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first."

» Remembrance Day
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How do you fix Invalid notifier alerts? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  November 10, 2009

The principal mark of genius is not perfection but originality, the opening of new frontiers. --- Arthur Koestler "You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now." --- Joan Baez
A girl walked up to the information desk in her local hospital and said, "I need to see the upturn, please." "I think, you mean the 'intern,' don't you?" asked the nurse on duty. "Yes,whatever." said the girl. "I want to have a 'contamination.'" "Don't you mean 'examination ?" the nurse asked. "Yes, whatever. I'll probably have to go to the fraternity ward" "I'm sure you mean the maternity ward." To which the girl replied "Upturn, intern; contamination, examination; fraternity, maternity.... What's the difference? All I know is I haven't demonstrated in two months, and I think I'm stagnant."
A New Yorker was being shown around the back country of Louisiana by his cousin. "Is it true that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?" he asked. The cousin smirked, "Depends on how fast ya carry it."
Heartwarming!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to rwo armed robbers in Pretonia, South Africa Robber emasculates himself News24, South Africa 2009-11-08 22:57 Pretoria - An armed robber who attacked 12 people in a house in Queenswood, Pretoria, and threatened to shoot them "one by one", shot his own penis off with his stolen firearm. Another robber was shot dead on the scene. The injured robber had hidden the firearm in the front of his trousers. When he removed the weapon, a shot went off by accident, hitting him in the groin. According to an informed source at the scene, this robber's injury was so severe that doctors would not have been able to re-attach his penis.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Cathy Re: Invalid Notifier Dear Webby, Hi sorry to bother you but am getting this same message every time I open up computer. It says selected notifier(or one of its components )is invalid- -please select a new notifier. Can you please tell me what this means? Still computer illiterate. Thank you Cathy Dear Cathy That is not part of Windows, but from some program, that you installed. It could be from Incredimail, Dartware, Telus, an RSS reader, a birthday reminder, or any number of different programs or services. Try to remember what program has ever notified you of anything. Then go into that program, add a new notifier and dump the old one. Have FUN! DearWebby
Nancy doesn't go to church much anymore. She's a Seventh Day Absentist.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Those Pumpkin Seeds When carving pumpkins for pie, don't throw out the seeds! Wash off the gooey stuff, spread on a cookie sheet, sprinkle with Lawry's (seasoning) salt and bake at 375 for about 10 minutes. Makes a great snack. By Sunny Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

While Hank was on board the Navy carrier USS GEORGE WASHINGTON, the air wing was busy with training missions. After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, "That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd." The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment. After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing, "Be vewy, vewy quiet. We awe hunting submawenes."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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A 6 year old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service, "And give us our bus passes, as we forgive those who gas pass against us."

» the Edhttp://www.ssefo.com/mund Fitzgerald
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How do you format SD camera memory cards? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  November 9, 2009

"There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary." --- Brendan Behan The task ahead of us is never as great as the power behind us. --- Ralph Waldo Emerson "Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest." --- Mark Twain "It is better to give than receive...especially advice." --- Mark Twain
Some winter camping tips: To win the race for fastest set-up on multi-family camping trips, tell your kids that NOBODY gets to go to the outhouse until all your tents are set up and the stuff moved into them. When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant. Wires as used for "strings" on many stringed instruments such as violas make excellent snare wire for catching rabbits, squirrels and night-time raiders of your beer cache. When smoking a fish, don't inhale. A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. Hot enchiladas or pizzas do NOT work. After they permanently melt into your sleeping bag, you will have a permanent cold spot in that location. Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove lint from navel before applying the match. If you set up a tent to be sheltered from the wind while ice-fishing, do NOT sleep in that tent. Somebody will get up at night and step into the hole. Extracting a foot with a sprained ankle firmly wedged into the hole in the ice tends to cause foul language that scares the fish away. If a family member has borrowed your ice auger to drill a fence post hole, it is a good idea to mark and identify that auger with a hack-saw by cutting it into little bitty pieces. That is best done cool and calm, before you carry it up to that mountain lake. Salmon eggs in little pouches made from old pantyhose work better for ice fishing than any other bait or lure, and if you don't get permission to use some bits of pantyhose, remember that salmon eggs are just deluxe caviar at one tenth the cost, and are great with devilled eggs. Building a fire in the dry spot under a tree with overhanging branches is a dumb idea, either the snow will slide off and put your fire out, or the tree will catch on fire. Putting your tent under a tree is also a bad idea, especially in the rain. A tent will shed rain, but the slow, fat drops coming from a tree will spray through and slowly dampen your sleeping bag. Also, a tree will continue to drip long after the rain has stopped. You can compress the diameter of a rolled up sleeping bag by running over it with your car. Tempting as it may be to "just-do-it", it IS considered good manners to tell your mother-in-law to get out of her sleeping bag before that procedure.
There is this American tourist on a trip around Ireland. When the tour arrives at Belfast he decides to go for a stroll with the aim of taking in this new culture. After he's been walking for a while someone rushes up behind him and sticks a gun in his back. The mugger says to the tourist, "What are you, Catholic or Protestant?" The American thinks to himself "Great -- if I say I'm Catholic, this guy is sure to be Protestant. If I say I'm Protestant, he's sure to be Catholic. Either way I'm dead." Then he has a brain wave and says to the guy, "Actually I'm Jewish." This, he thinks to himself, will surely keep him safe. The guy behind him then replies, "Gee, I must be the luckiest Arab in Ireland."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Two teenage boys from Woonsocket, RI Don't Forget Your Homework, Especially at the Crime Scene Two teenage boys from Woonsocket have been charged with breaking and entering after skipping class on Monday and breaking into a home within a half-mile from Woonsocket High School. The two fifteen year old boys stole some game systems from a house on Hillsdale Ave before heading back to school, according to Lt. Eugene Jalette. Two officers from Woonsocket who responded to the break in noticed a homework assignment at the scene. It was found next to the basement window, right near where the youths broke in. The homework didn't belong to anyone who lived at the home, but the name on it was quite familiar to the officers. At the end of the day, the policemen recovered the stolen items and arrested the two boys, releasing them to the custody of their parents. They are also investigating whether the boys are involved in other recent break-ins in the area.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann D Re: How do I format a camera memory card? Dear Webby, Dear Ann 99.99% of the information on the net about formatting SD memory cards is misleading and useless. The rare exception is the SD Card Org. They even have a downloadable formatter program. http://www.sdcard.org/consumers/formatter/ Cameras that wring the last little bit of power out of the batteries trash SD chips much more frequently, than cameras that act snooty and refuse to run unless the batteries are above a certain level. For example, with a Fuiji you get more pictures per battery change, but occasionally you will lose a chip full of pictures. With a Canon you spend a bit more on batteries, but trashed chips are totally unknown to Canon users. In case your cards are just 1/4 GB (256 MB), get an 8 GB card from Tigerdirect for $15, or check the local stores for specials. Quite often they put SD cards on special to lure people into the store. Have FUN! DearWebby
Charlie was a regular visitor at the racetrack. One afternoon he noticed an unusual site. Right before the first race, a Catholic Priest visited one of the horses in the stable area and gave it a blessing. Charlie watched the horse race very carefully, and, sure enough, the blessed horse came in first! Charlie followed the Priest before the next race. Again, the Priest went to the stables and blessed another horse. Charlie quickly put two dollars on that horse and won close to fifty bucks! The Priest kept blessing horses and Charlie kept betting on them and they won! The last race of the day was the biggest and Charlie saw the Priest with that horse, also! He quickly went to his bank and withdrew his life's savings of $20,000, went back to the racetrack and put it all on that horse! He watched the race in certain anticipation of leaving a millionaire! The horse was last to cross the line and Charlie was dead broke! He couldn't believe what happened so he went looking for the Priest. He found the man and asked, "What happened to that last horse you blessed? Because your blessing didn't work, I've lost all of my money!" The Priest said, "That's the trouble with you Protestants. You can't tell the difference between a blessing and the Last Rites!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Putting on a Bracelet By Yourself I live alone and sometimes have a difficult time putting a bracelet or watch on by myself. To solve this problem, I tape one end on my wrist with cellophane tape so it stays put and then I can take the other end and hook it together. Works every time! By Elaine from Iowa Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

During a county-wide drive to round up all unlicensed dogs, a patrolman signaled a car to pull over to the curb. When Bubba asked why he had been stopped, the officer pointed to the big dog sitting on the seat beside him. "Does your dog have a license?" he asked. "No way," Bubba said, "Ol' Blue don't need none. He's getting too shortsighted fer doin' the drivin'."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark." The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you." The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure He's out there?" "Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and He is always ready to help you when you need Him," she said. The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"

» Canadian Rockies Aerial pictures
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Mail during vacation 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  November 8, 2009

One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation. --- Oscar Wilde The cure for writer's cramp is writer's block. --- Inigo DeLeon
One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife: " What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."
The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used "Forgive Your Enemies" as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied, he continued on for another twenty minutes, repeating his question. This time he received a response of eighty percent. Still unsatisfied, he lectured for fifteen more minutes and repeated his question. With thoughts of Sunday dinner, all responded except one older lady in the rear. "Mrs. Jones, are you not willing to forgive your enemies?" "I don't have any," replied Mrs. Jones. "Mrs. Jones, that is very unusual. How old are you?" "Eighty six," was the reply. "Mrs. Jones, please come down in front and tell the congregation how a woman can live to eighty six and not have an enemy in the world." The old woman teetered down the aisle and slowly turned around. "It's easy. I just outlived all them rotten no-good bitches and sons-o-bitches!"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andrew J. Burwitz, 20, of Appleton, Wis. Driveby Shooting with the window up Andrew J. Burwitz, 20, of Appleton, Wis., tried to do a drive-by shooting at the home of his ex-girlfriend's family and another random house. Police found him because he failed to roll down his car window and shattered it when he made the first shot. He was charged Wednesday with four counts of first-degree reckless endangerment, four counts of endangering safety by reckless use of a firearm, disorderly conduct and criminal damage to property. According to court documents, the occupants of the house in the Town of Buchanan were awakened about 2 a.m. Monday to the sounds of breaking glass. They saw a car driving off and found two bullets had struck the exterior of the house and three had entered the living room. None of the four people in the house was injured. The ex-girlfriend was attending school out of state. Sheriff's deputies examining the area found broken auto glass in the street, and, later that day, contacted area auto glass repair shops and found Burwitz had his car window replaced after filing an insurance claim. He was not charged with attempted murder or drunk driving. That is apparently normal in that part of Wisconsin.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Mail during vacation Dear Webby, I am going to Hawaii for a couple of weeks on the 18th of Nov.. Is there anyway to stop my inbox from getting plugged up short of unsubscribing to everything prior to going away? In May I will be going to Germany for 5 weeks and of course the problem will be much bigger then. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated - as are all your helpful suggestions. Take Care Ann Dear Ann Yes, unsubscribing is indeed the best way. Anything else will just cause problems for you. It doesn't take that long to click on the unsubscribe line at the bottom of newsletters. Have FUN! DearWebby
Q. What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman? A. The car salesman knows when he's lying to you
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Turn Greeting Cards into Postcards To recycle cards and save trees, I turn cards I receive into postcards and re use them. Usually people only write on the inside page so I cut off the front page with the picture on it and then write my own message or greeting on the blank back page along with the address and it is now a postcard. I always get asked where I find such fun postcards and with the price of cards being $2-4 and postage being cheaper for a postcard I save quite a bit each time I send a postcard greeting! By Kate from Chicago, Illinois Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The Classifieds - 2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess. - Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. - A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. - The hotel has howling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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At long last the good-humoured boss was compelled to call Fisk into his office. "It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium you have to take your aunt to the doctor." "You know, you're right, sir," exclaimed Fisk. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking it, do you?"

» The Fun Theory
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How to get rid of Antivirus System Pro Alert 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  November 6, 2009

"Advice is probably the only free thing which people won't take." --- Lothar Kaul What you get free costs too much." --- Jean Anouilh "If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if YOU can use either one, it's a miracle." --- Jack Adams
Research had been going on for many years as to the invention of the toothbrush. Researchers knew the purpose of the device, wanted to know and acknowledge the originating location. After a very long and exasperating study the researchers came to their conclusion as to the origin of thetoothbrush. It was decided that the brush was invented in Maine. Intrigued with the discovery, the researchers were asked by the media how they came to the conclusion. They all agree it was simple deduction, "If it was invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush."
For months he had been her devoted admirer. Now, at long last, he had collected up sufficient courage to ask her the most momentous of all questions: "There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor," he began, "but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being -- a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one's absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one's joys and sorrows." To his delight he saw a sympathetic gleam in her eyes. Then she nodded in agreement. Finally, she responded, "I think its a great idea! Sure I can help you choose which puppy to buy!"
Kimberly Munley, the hero of Ft Hood, the cop who ran into the shooting scene and took down the big cowardly terrorist, who was murdering and injuring people in an area, where he was the only one armed, - until Kimberley Munley arrived.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Aaron Siebers, 27, of Denver, CO Another "Aware of the problem DUI driver NOVEMBER 3--Aaron Siebers, 27 of Denver, a Blockbuster employee, was skateboarding yesterday afternoon when he fell and ripped his uniform pants. Due to work last night--and concerned about getting "written up" by Blockbuster superiors for not wearing his work-issued khakis--Siebers came up with a harebrained idea. Instead of just calling in sick, he stabbed himself in the leg and showed up at work claiming to have just been attacked by three Hispanic males. Siebers, who told cops he was assaulted as he walked toward the Blockbuster in Edgewater, had a deep stab wound in one leg and several other minor cuts on his face and stomach. As investigators began hunting for the assailants, they reviewed surveillance video from outside a Target store where Siebers claimed the attack occurred. The footage, however, showed no such assault. Confronted by cops, Siebers, pictured in the below mug shot, admitted that he had stabbed himself. He told investigators about the skateboarding accident, the resulting ripped pants, and how "he did not want to lose his job so he stabbed himself in the leg," according to an arrest affidavit sworn by Officer Shawna Naumann. As a result, Siebers was named in a criminal complaint charging him with filing a false report and obstructing police, both misdemeanors.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Donna Re: Antivirus System Pro Alert Dear Webby, My husband's computer has been infected by Antivirus System Pro Alert. He gets numerous popups, but the first one always is: wmprvse.exe is infected. Then, of course, you can subscribe to their service for a fee and it will be removed. We currently use McAfee, but obviously, it didn't protect us. Can you tell me what we need to do or should I just call our "computer guy?" Thanks, Donna Dear Donna Sounds like he gave you plenty of ammo to razz him about going to sites, that he shouldn't! Manual removal instructions are here: http://snipurl.com/t43vu They, remove-malware.net, also have a stinger for automatic removal at the bottom of that page. Have FUN! DearWebby
Trishia is five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump. After she had a minor accident, her sister accompanied her to the emergency room. The triage nurse asked for her height and weight, and she blurted out, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds." While the nurse pondered over this information, her sister leaned over to her. "Trishia," she gently chided, "This is not the Internet."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pre-Treating Greasy Stains I've found the best way to remove any greasy stain (including shirt collars) is to put a little dish washing liquid (Joy, Dawn, etc.) on the stain, and rub it in. Then dip the spot in as hot water as is appropriate for the fabric and rub again. Toss it in the washer and you will be pleased at the outcome! By Sarahruth from Newland, NC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A six-year-old ran up and down the supermarket aisles shouting frantically, "Marian, Marian!" Finally reunited with his mother, he was chided by her, "You shouldn't call me 'Marian.' I'm your mother, you know." "I know," said the child, "but the store is full of mothers."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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One evening a man was very impressed with the meat entree his wife had served. "What did you marinate this in?" he asked. His wife immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loves him and how life wouldn't be the same without him, etc. Eventually, his puzzled expression made her interrupt her answer with a question of her own, " What did you ask me?" She chuckled at his answer and explained, "I thought you asked me if I would marry you again!" As she left the room, he called out, "Well, would you marry me again?" Without hesitation, she yelled back, "Vinegar and barbecue sauce."

» Famous Folks
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How to get rid of Cyber Security? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  November 6, 2009
Wear something red to show your support for the troops!

"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." --- Tom Wilson "But he that dares not grasp the thorn, Should never crave the rose." --- Anne Bronte
A flying saucer was low on fuel, so it landed near a local gas station. On its side were the letters "UFO." The gas station attendant was stunned, but his curiosity got the best of him. "Does that stand for Unidentified Flying Object?", he asked. "No," one of the other-worldly travelers responds. "It stands for 'Unleaded Fuel Only.' "
A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache. Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it. The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic and the nurse had to hit him with the fire extinguisher."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Mary Strey, 49, of Granton, Wisconsin Another "Aware of the problem DUI driver NEILSVILLE, Wis. – The call came into the 911 dispatcher: "I don't want to hurt anybody. I'm drunk." And with that, Mary Strey, 49, of Granton, reported herself as a drunken driver about three miles northeast of Neilsville in central Wisconsin. Clark County Sheriff's Chief Deputy Jim Backus said Monday that Strey's call on Oct. 24 led deputies to cite her for misdemeanor drunken driving with a blood-alcohol level double the legal limit to drive. She makes her first court appearance Dec. 10. Backus said drunken drivers reporting themselves is rare. In the 911 call, Strey said she wanted to report a drunken driver and the dispatcher asked if she was behind the suspect vehicle. "I am them," Strey said. She then followed the dispatcher's advice to pull over and turn on her flashers, telling him she had been "drinking all night long."
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Linda Re: Cyber Security Dear Webby, Please let me know how to remove cyber security. Thanks, Linda Dear Linda That is some very nasty stuff you got there! I searched the web, and this seems to be the easiest way to get rid of "Cyber Security": Spywarevoid Have FUN! DearWebby
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked: "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only a kiss a yard, " replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old lady standing beside her. "Grandma will pay the bill," she smiled.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Christmas Club Accounts This tip is late for this year but (I think) invaluable for the years to come. Get a Christmas Club account at your bank. They either deduct a set amount from your checking account ($20 a month or more) or you deposit monthly. It runs for 10 months and at the end of the time Oct/Nov you get a check for the years' amount plus interest. I'm careless about putting money by every month, but if it's not in the account, I can't spend it and then I have a lump sum when I most need it. One year I had to draw out the accumulated dollars in the summer, but I've done this for a long time. By Susan from Bristol TN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A 6 year old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?" The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees". When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?" The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Colonel Jack: What's your name, driver? Driver: Alfred, sir. Colonel Jack: I always call my drivers by their last names. What's your last name, driver? Driver: It's Sweetheart, sir. Colonel Jack: Drive on, Alfred.

» Famous Folks
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More top links 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  November 5, 2009

"Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction." --- Antoine de Saint Exupery "Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile." --- Franklin P. Jones
It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your special Sunday dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a damn bitch to iron."
"I hope you didn't take it personally, Reverend," an embarrassed woman said after a church service, "when my husband walked out during your sermon." "I did find it rather disconcerting," the preacher replied. "It's not a reflection on you, sir," she insisted. "Ralph has been walking in his sleep ever since he was a child."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to James Miller, 18, in Oxford, Ohio Aware of the topic NOVEMBER 2--A Halloween reveler dressed up as a Breathalyzer machine was arrested early Sunday for drunk driving. James Miller, an 18-year-old college student, was busted in Oxford, Ohio after cops spotted him driving in the wrong direction on a one-way street. An actual Breathalyzer machine recorded Miller's blood alcohol content as .158, nearly twice the state's legal limit. Miller, pictured in the below mug shot, was charged with underage drinking and DUI, according to an Oxford Police Department report. Officers discovered an open can of Bud Light in the vehicle's center console and the remains of a case of beer on the passenger seat and in the trunk. Miller's costume, which retails for about $30, includes three sobriety levels: Boring, Life of the Party, and Sotally Tober. It also includes a well-placed plastic tube with the instructions "Blow Here." He definitely can't say he was not aware of the Drunk Driving topic.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ella Re: More Top Links Dear Webby, Is there a way to get more links or bookmarks onto the top of the browser, so that I don't have to close a browser to hut for the shortcut to a site? Thanks Ella Dear Ella In FireFox that is no problem. Click on TOOLS, ADD-ONS, Get Add-On, and grab "Multi_Row Bookmarks". Then you can have many rows of bookmarks on top. If you edit their names and make them shorter, for example shorten "XE - Universal Currency Converter" to just "XE", it saves a lot of space but you still recognize it. Words of warning: Slow down! Don't go hog wild in the add-on stash! Limit yourself to one new one per day. Get used to that add on, before you get more. I know, it is very tempting to get this and that, and the other thing, and, and, and ..., but it can get very confusing if you add them too fast. Once you installed an Add-On, it becomes an integral part of FireFox. Have FUN! DearWebby
A group of women were talking together. One woman said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40 on a Sunday." Another said, "That's nothing. Sometimes our congregation is down to six or seven." A maiden lady in her seventies added her bit, "Why, it's so bad in our church on Sundays that when the minister says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No new tip today Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A man was stranded on the proverbial deserted Pacific island for years. Finally one day a boat comes sailing into view, and the man frantically waves and draws the skipper's attention. The boat comes near the island, and the sailor gets out and greets the stranded man. After awhile the sailor asks, "What are those three huts you have here?" "Well, that's my house there." "What's that next hut?" asks the sailor. "I built that hut to be my church." "What about the other hut?" "Oh, that's where I used to go to church."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Delighted by the gift she had received, the lady spoke warmly to the boy, "At church tomorrow, I'll thank your mother for this lovely pie." "If you don't mind, Ma'am," the boy suggested nervously, "would you please thank her for two pies?"

» Famous Folks
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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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Zoom Firefox without a mouse 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  November 4, 2009

It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do. ---Jerome K. Jerome Adolescence and snow are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough. --- Socratex
Joe: I see you've lost weight since you started your new job. Did your boss put you on a diet?" Amy: No, she put me on commission.
A reporter from Chicago was visiting an old colleague, who now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town. "I don't see how you do it," the reporter said. "How can you drum up interest in the news when everybody in town knows what everybody else is doing?" "Sure they know," the editor said, "but they read the paper to see who got caught at it."
Thanks to Cookie for sendng this picture: 64 Park Lane, when cars had style and decent trunks
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a drunk forklift driver in Moscow $150,000 worth of booze spilled A fork lift driver in Moscow was sampling too much of his own product when he drunkenly plowed his vehicle into the stock shelves of vodka and cognac in the storeroom where he worked. The result was a spectacular crash in which $150,000 worth of liquor rained down around him. Amazingly, he escaped with nothing but a leg injury. Epic Forklift Incident
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Patti Re: FireFox Zoom without mouse How do you zoom firefox if you're not using a mouse? I keep hitting the escape button but I'm still here. Dear Patti If you are mouse deprived, hold down the CTRL key and hit the + key to make the text and pictures larger, or CTRL and - to make them smaller. If you also miss the numeric key pad, then you have to hold down CTRL and produce the + and - with the SHIFT key and the appropriate keys in the top row. By the way, you CAN plug a mouse into a USB port on a netbook or laptop. You can even go a step further and also plug in a standard keyboard. Your wrists will appreciate it! Have FUN! DearWebby
The sheriff of a small town was also the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered. An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?" "Do you require his services as a sheriff or as a vet?" the wife asked. "Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Craft: Use Lace for a Subtle Pattern I wanted a subtle pattern on the table that I painted and then thought of the idea that I used quite some time ago on a trunk. First I primed and painted the table a soft green and let it dry. Then I bought some lace with a large pattern and laid it over the top. I sprayed in a very soft gray. I also did the drawers. This matches very nicely with other things in my bedroom but, if you wanted to, you could make the contrast more extreme and it would also look good. I then put a coat of water based polyurethane on it. By Elaine from Iowa Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings." "I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. "You should try some Tums and eat properly!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Delightful old classic that I have not featured in a long time: One nun is known as Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other one is known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent. SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants? SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us. SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most. What can we do? SL: The only logical thing to do is to walk faster. SM: It's not working. SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster too. SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute. SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both. So, the man decided to follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried what has happened to Sister Logical. Then Sister Logical arrives. SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened! SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me. SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?? SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could. SM: And?? SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me. SM: Oh, dear! What did you do? SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up. SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do? SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants. SM: Oh, no! What happened then? SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run a lot faster than a man with his pants down! (...And, for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Mary's...! )

» Formal Gardens
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How to get precise color numbers 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  November 3, 2009

You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do. --- Olin Miller "Talent develops in quiet places, character in the full current of human life." --- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe "Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent into the dark place where it leads." --- Erica Jong
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and NOT try to understand her at all.
Matt went into Doc Steven's office for his annual checkup, and the Doc asked if there was anything unusual he should know about. That left it pretty wide open, so he told the Doc that he found it real strange how his suit must've shrunk just sittin' in his closet, because it didn't fit when he went to get ready for a wedding recently. The Doc said, "Suits don't shrink just sittin' there. You probably just put on a few pounds, Matt." "That's just it, Doc, I know I haven't gained a single pound since the last time I wore it." "Well, then," said Doc, "You must have a case of Furniture Disease." "What in the world is Furniture Disease?" Matt asked. "Furniture Disease, Matt, is when you reach that stage in life when your chest starts slidin' down into your drawers."
Thanks to Martin for sending this picture by his nephew Greg Two ravens
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a South African military jet passenger Military jet passenger ejects A passenger enjoying a civilian joyride accidentally cut the trip short when he ejected himself from the plane after grabbing the eject lever while trying to brace himself. The passenger, who was flying in a Pilatus PC-7 Mk II with an air force pilot friend, The Daily Mail reported. He was instantly blasted 320-feet into the sky by the rocket-powered chair, before floating to the ground with an automatic parachute, the paper reported. Air Force officers quickly deployed a helicopter to retrieve the passenger after his landing 80 miles south of Cape Town, South Africa. ------------- Pilatus PC7 are military jets made in Switzerland, known more for precision flying between rugged mountains, than for extreme speed in wide open areas.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Wanda Re: Color numbers Dear Webby How do I get the exact color number to match a font to the color in a picture? With guessing and experimenting I am just wasting time without getting close enough. What do you use for that? Wanda Dear Wanda I use the EyeDropper. You can download it from my toolbox at http://webby.com/tools. It sits in the uicklaunch over by the clock. You click it and hold down the left mouse button while you move the cursor to the color that you want. It shows you the numbers, and also puts the number that you got, when you let go of the mouse button, into the clip-board, ready to paste as the font color. Have FUN! DearWebby
A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, "Have you ever been married ?" "Yes, sir, once" said the witness in a low voice. "Whom did you marry?" "Well, a woman." The lawyer said angrily, "Of course you married a woman ! Did you ever hear of anyone marrying a man ?" The witness replied meekly, "Well, most women do, and I know for sure my mother did."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Get Rid of Pests in Fall Arrangements If you wish to use pine cones, seed pods and the like in your fall arrangements, spread them on a foil covered cookie sheet and put them in the oven to about at hour at 200 degrees F. That will kill any critters that might be hiding inside. The last thing you want is a few critters to come out to join you for Thanksgiving dinner! By Linda from Vista CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Teacher: Max, use "defeat," "defense" and "detail" in a sentence. Max: The rabbit ran across the field, and defeat went over defence before detail.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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A number of new Air-Force recruits were being taken on their first training flight. The plane had just leveled out after taking off when one of the engines seized up, and another began smoking badly. Adjusting his parachute, the instructor strove for nonchalance as he made his way to the hatch door. "Now I want you men to keep perfectly calm," he said, "while I go for help."

» Living media
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FireFox Zoom 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  November 2, 2009

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. --- Mark Twain Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened. --- Winston Churchill
A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE: "Doctor, I have an ear ache." 2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root. That will be one payment on my sandals, please." 1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer. That will be one payment on my donkey, please." 1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion. That will be one payment on my wagon, please." 1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow these pills. That will be one payment on my Buick, please." 1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic. That will be one payment on my Mercedes, please." 2002 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root! That will be one payment on my yacht, please."
A Southerner had just moved to New York, and one day, a robber approached him and said, "Give me your money or I'll blow your brains out!" "Blow away," replied the Southerner, "You obviously can live in New York without brains, but I could not live here without money."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 25 year old burglar from Detroit Burglar with dressing problems ADRIAN, Mich. (AP) - Police say a burglar broke into an Adrian home before fleeing in only his boxer shorts and a pink baseball cap. The Daily Telegram reported the 25-year-old Detroit man broke into the home through a front window and removed valuables from the woman's bedroom. Police said he was surprised by the home's residents and fled on foot wearing the woman's baseball cap and his boxer shorts. He was arrested a short distance away and told an officer his clothes were taken by several girls, whom he was chasing. His clothes were found nearby. He was charged with home invasion, larceny in a building and cocaine possession.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Christine Re: FireFox Zoom Dear Webby Thank you so much for your help. With regard to Firefox browser page, I did the CTRL down and then used my mouse scroll wheel and it worked great! Is there any way to make it stay that way or do I have to do it every time I open Firefox? Internet Explorer displays the whole browser page and I didn't have to make any adjustments. It is hot here in Florida--92 degrees and the little kiddies have already started coming around "trick or treating" and its only 4:20 PM. On my street, we usually have 1500 - 2000 kids come by before the night is over. Halloween always makes me wish I was a kid again. Regards, Christine Dear Cristine Usually it will use the zoom you used last. Occasionally it can happen, that you zoomed up or down in a different program and the mouse remembered that. However, now that you know the trick, you can quickly zoom back to a comfortable setting. Have FUN! DearWebby
A man was being proselytized by group of friends: "Come join our study group. We want to discuss mankind's relationship to God." "I'm married; I learned long ago that my opinions don't matter." "But, when you die, will you go to heaven or to hell?" "Wherever my wife tells me to."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Frugal Tips for Keeping Warm Keeping warm in the winter can be tough if your heating costs are through the roof! If you live in a place where you have to pay for heating but can't afford the costs, here are a few things you can do! Instead of turning on the heat in the entire house, place a space heater in the area where you'll be hanging out. Take a hot bath or shower, this keeps me warm for a few hours! Put on thick socks and put something on your head if you can. Get under blankets! By Lisa from Halifax, NS Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Three couples are in line at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says to the first couple, "Sorry, I can't let you in." "Why not?" asked the husband. "Because all the two of you ever cared about was drinking. You were either stone drunk or hung over. You didn't have a sober day in your marriage." said St. Peter. "That's not true!" pleaded the couple. "Really, now." said St. Peter. "What's your wife's name?" "Sherry", said the man "See, you even married a woman named after a drink!" said St. Peter just as he released a trap door, sending them straight down to hell. Then he a told the second couple they couldn't get in to Heaven, either. "Why not?" asked the second husband. "Because all you ever cared about was making money, and you didn't care how you did it. You would cheat anybody, anytime to make your fortune." said St. Peter. "You even cheated your own brothers and sisters out of their inheritance!" "That's not true!" pleaded the husband. "Oh, really?" queried St. Peter "What's your wife's name?" "Penny", said the husband. "See?" said St. Peter, "You even have wife named after money." At which point he released the trap door sending them down to hell. The third husband, grinning, said to his wife, "Well, Fanny, I'm sure glad we were not interested in booze or money!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Mr Jones, the principal walked into Miss Smith's 4th grade class, where the children were studying American Geography. Mr. Jones asked the class how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names. He jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. From the back of the room Little Johnny yelled, "Yes, but in those days there were only 13!"

» Adjusting to the Time Chang
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Top menu bar missing in IE 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  November 1, 2009
In North America, change the clocks for an hour extra sleep.

"Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been." --- Mark Twain
When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family." "Your mother's side or your father's?" the doctor asked. "Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family." "Oh, come now," said the doctor, "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?" He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!"
A man was chosen for jury duty who very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He was trying every excuse in the world, trying to get out of it but none of them worked. On the day of the trial he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin he asked if he could approach the bench. "Your Honor," he said, " I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the Grey suit with those shifty eyes and that dishonest face and I said, "He's a crook! He's guilty, guilty, guilty." So your Honor, I could not possibly stay on this jury!" With a tired annoyance the judge replied, "Get back in the jury box. That's his lawyer."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Scano Sinclair, 28, of Miramar, Florida Mista Cool TAMARAC, Fla. -- Authorities said they know who broke into a Tamarac woman's home because the robber left his cell phone at the scene of the crime. The Broward Sheriff's Office said Scano Sinclair, 28, of Miramar, broke into the 25-year-old woman's home Tuesday afternoon while she was sleeping in her bedroom. She told deputies she awoke to find two men standing over her with guns and demanding cash. As one of the robbers fled the scene, he dropped his cell phone, which contained several pictures of Sinclair. BSO robbery detectives said the victim identified Sinclair as her assailant. Detectives said Sinclair recently tried to rob the victim's boyfriend at his Palm Beach County home but was unsuccessful. A warrant for Sinclair's arrest has been issued.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Annette Re: Top menu bar missing in IE Dear Webby it's me again, (Annette) Just need to ask you something, at the top of my browser, I have lost where it says tools, file, favorites,etc., on the left side, can you tell me how to get it back? All that is there now is, Basicisp.net Web Mail User Interface-Windows Internet Explorer and right under that is, http;//www.mybasicisp.net/webmail.asp, I dont know what I would do without you!!!! thanks for everything you do for me, always look forward to the news letter every day, from your friend in Texas, Annette. Dear Annette I haven't used IE for a long time, but that looks like you are in a basicisp pop-up, that has the top menu bar disabled. Try minimizing that PopUp, and you will see the regular IE with the top menu bar enabled. Quite often you can double-click the top bar and notice that the window shrinks down from malware style by one pixel, and then you can grab the edge and drag it down to a more comfortable size. If it is impossible to shrink the window at all, like with those phoney virus alarm pop-ups, then it's time to reboot and report the site that spawned that pop-up to Google. They will check it out and flag it as an attack site. I don't know if IE does it, but FireFox shows you a big scary message if you try to go to a site, that is flagged as an attack site. In your case, though, you can probably make it shrinkable by double-clicking the top bar. Have FUN! DearWebby
A man entered a barbershop and said, "I am tired of looking like everyone else. I want a change. Part my hair from ear to ear!" The barber nodded and said, "Are you sure?" His customer said, "yes," so the barber did as he was told, and the satisfied gentleman left the shop a happy man. Three hours passed and the man reentered the barber shop. "Put it back the way it was," hesaid. "What's the matter?" said the barber. "Are you tired of being a non-conformist already?" "No," the customer replied, "I'm tired of people whispering at my nose."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Buy Cheap Pumpkins After Halloween Be sure to check your local Walmart right after Halloween for leftover pumpkins. Many people will not buy them after Halloween and you can get them for nearly free. Last year I talked to the guy over the produce section who told me he had marked them down to a penny and they still would not sell! I picked up as many as I could carry (3) and headed for the checkout counter. I found a great idea for beef stew in a pumpkin, where you just stick the whole thing in the oven. The uneaten leftover parts of the pumpkin were pureed to make pie filling. You can also throw the seeds out in your yard to grow your own next year! By Imladris from Anderson, SC Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening church service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of it's valuables, she yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38!" (....repent and be baptized....) The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture at you." "Scripture??" replied the burglar, "She said she had an ax and two 38's!!!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Two elderly women were trying on shoes in our store. When I slipped a shoe onto one woman's foot, the end of my tie got caught beneath her heel. Unaware of my predicament, she stood up and started toward the mirror. For a few seconds, I found myself crawling along the floor beside her, trying to get her attention. "Look, Martha," her friend said. "he wants to go home with you!"

» World Clock
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Stop automatic Windows shutdowns 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  October 31, 2009
Happy Halloween!

Painting, n. The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. Formerly, painting and sculpture were combined in the same work: the ancients painted their statures. The only present alliance between the two arts is that the modern painter often chisels his patrons. --Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary."
A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.
A grandmother came by to show off her brand-new Pontiac Grand Am. The eight-year-old granddaughter took one look at the car and indignantly proclaimed, "They spelled grandma wrong!"

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ryan Neal,19, Keanthony Strickland,19, and Gabriel Williams,18. in Dayton, Ohio Boobheads DAYTON, Ohio (UPI) -- Police in Ohio said a man suspected of armed robbery with three others wore a black bra to disguise his face during the crime. Dayton Police said an officer heard a gunshot while patrolling late Sunday and followed the sound to a man who said a group of men robbed him of $10 at gunpoint, WHIO-TV, Dayton, reported. Investigators tracked down the getaway car used in the crime and four men fled the vehicle on foot. Officers said they apprehended Ryan Neal,19, Keanthony Strickland,19, and Gabriel Williams,18. The fourth suspect evaded capture. Police said all four were wearing black masks and officers discovered a mask worn by one of the arrested suspects, who were held in connection with the robbery, was a bra wrapped around his head.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Brendt Re: Unwanted reboots Dear Webby How can I stop Windows from rebooting behind my back, just because it installed yet another bug fix and because it detected that I have some unsaved files open? Brendt Dear Brendt It's not just Windows. Adobe and many others are even worse. With Windows you can go into the Control Panel, select Automatic Updates, and select "Notify me but don't automatically download or install them". Occasionally, it will still do it anyway, but not nearly as often. Other programs, that keep popping reboot reminders and show a countdown timer bar, are often worse. With those you might as well throw in the towel, save everything and let it reboot. Otherwise they just keep annoying you until you do. Keep in mind that many programs have automatic saves that you can adjust. Just look in the Help for "auto-save", and set it for 2 minutes. With FireFox you can set it so that it saves all your open tabs and restarts with those tabs open. If you had a bunch of windopws open with movies or music, that produces some awful caterwauling, when all of them start playing simultaneously. Just mute the sound and hunt them down and stop each one. Have FUN! DearWebby
Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other. Sandy approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said she was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The girl hesitated, gave her a very suspicious look and then said, "Okay". Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?" "Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Halloween Costume: Ghoulteacher For Halloween one year, I bought the ugliest dress I could find at the thrift store. It was a black sheath dress with yellow, white and gold shear collar and it was sleeveless. I wore black pantyhose and glued spiders and ants on the hose and dress. I had a fake rat that I pinned to my shoulder and my face was greened along with my arms and hands. I brushed out my hair with my head upside down and sprayed with the freeze type hairspray. I colored it with streaks of green. Maggie from Oak Lawn, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The finance committee of our church refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier, because none of the members knows how to play one.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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A third grade teacher asked her class: "I'd like you to be very quiet today. I've got a dreadful headache." "Excuse me," said , "why don't you do what my mom does when she has a hangover?" "What's that?" asked the teacher. "She sends us outside to play."

» Voyager
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What is OEM software? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  October 30, 2009
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!"

Most people would succeed in small things if they were not troubled with great ambitions. --- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." --- Aristotle "My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.... Unless there are three other people with me." --- Orson Welles
The Shiny-Walled Box Thingie An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.The lad asked, "What is this, father?" The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.The father looked at his son and said, "Go get your mother."
A man visited a psychiatrist to talk about his dreams. "Every night," the man said, "I dream that these three hideous monsters are sitting on the edge of my bed, ready to attack me." "Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel sure I can cure you of this problem. But the treatment will be costly. I charge $200 per weekly session and it may take a couple of years to solve your problem." "Two hundred dollars per session!" the man gasped. "Never mind getting rid of the monsters, Doctor. I think I will give that bed to my mother-in-law. That will fix their wagon!"
Moonlit
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jeffrey S. Barber from Hamburg, NY Drunk Cow Costumed driver drives into river TOWN OF TONAWANDA — A man dressed in a cow suit was charged with driving while intoxicated Sunday after driving his car into the Niagara River. Town of Tonawanda police were called to the water treatment plant at 218 Aqua Lane for a call of a person in a cow suit showing up, asking for help and then running away just after 3 a.m. When officers arrived, they found Jeffrey S. Barber walking along the south fence of the plant and asked him to come over to the car. His cow suit was noticeably soaked with water from the chest down. When asked what happened, Barber said, “I just drove my car into the water,” according to reports. Barber went on to say he had been driving back to his home in Hamburg from a party in the town when his GPS device told him to take a right to get onto the 190. He took a hard right at that time, leading him down Aqua Lane, off the small boat docks and into the Niagara River. The car’s engine and electrical system stopped working, so Barber said he “smashed the window with his left palm like he saw how to do on TV.” He then climbed out, cutting his left hand and getting shards of glass into the left front pocket of his coat. After making his way to the water buildings — which he mistook for the University at Buffalo campus — Barber asked for help through the building’s public speaker. Once officers made sure Barber was safe, they went to locate his car to make sure there were no passengers. Barber said he was riding alone, but when officers smelled the odor of alcohol on his breath, they wanted to make sure. To their surprise, the car was nowhere to be found. The Sheridan Park fire company responded with a ladder truck to hoist a light and search for the vehicle through the water, but had no luck either. A worker at the water plant tried to review the tape from a surveillance camera to see what happened to the car, but accidentally erased the tape in the process. Police were also unable to get the address for the party from Barber since it was in the GPS system still located in the car. Barber’s cell phone containing all his phone numbers was also soaked and ruined during his escape. Town police then called the City of Tonawanda police department, which has its own dive team. The team already had a practice scheduled for 8 a.m. Sunday, so they conducted their dive at Aqua Lane Park. The divers located the car 50 feet from the shore and hauled it back to land, locating four whiskey bottles, three beer bottles and the head of the cow costume in the vehicle. Barber allegedly failed multiple field sobriety tests and a chemical breath test reportedly revealed a 0.20 percent blood alcohol content, leading to an aggravated DWI charge.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Tash Re:What is OEM Software Dear Webby When searching for good deals for software, I often see that it is "OEM". What does that mean, and is it the full version or just a trial teaser, that stops working after a while? Tash Dear Tash OEM stands for Original Equipment Manufacturer. It means that the software is intended for pre-loading it onto new machines. It is a full version and comes with the registration numbers. While it is not quite legal to sell OEM versions without pre-installing them onto new machines prior to selling the machine, nobody makes a big fuss about it. The software makers are glad to get you on board, and count on you buying the next version legitimately. You don't get a fancy cardboard box with an OEM CD, just the CD in a plain sleeve, and no printed manual. However, there is a manual and help system on the CD, just like you had bought it pre-installed on a new computer. Have FUN! DearWebby
The chef at a family run restaurant had broken her leg and came into her insurance office to file a disability claim. As the agent scanned the claim form, heI did a double take. Under "Reason unable to work," she had written: "Can't stand to cook."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Craft Box For Kids I took a fishing tackle box (discarded by dad) and turned it into a craft box for my boys. I put in crayons, colored pencils, tape, glue, regular pencils. and some glitter, etc. Now when the boys want to be creative they can go get the craft box and have fun. By Reta Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

I noticed the neighbor down the street was home and sitting on his porch every day, so after a few weeks I asked him what was going on. He replied, "I left my job because of illness and fatigue." A few weeks later, his wife gave me the real truth of what happened . . . Turns out his boss got sick and tired of him.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Mark, went into a convenience store to prepay for gasoline and returned with two plastic bottles of soda. As he filled the tank, his wife opened a bottle. To her dismay it fizzed and foamed all over her lap. Several miles down the road, Mark asked for his soda. Handing it to him, She warned, "Be careful. These are really over-carbonated." But when Mark opened his bottle, it barely hissed. Eyes on the road, he nonchalantly said, "You must have gotten the one I dropped."

» San Francisco Fog
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Printing labels 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  October 29, 2009

"What happens to a man is less significant than what happens within him." --- Louis L. Mann "Nothing in life is so hard that you can't make it easier by the way you take it." --- Ellen Glasgow
The police recently busted a man selling tablets that he claimed stopped aging.. When going through their files they noticed it was the fourth time he was caught for doing this. He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856 and 1928.
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. "What's this little pocket thing here on the side for?" "Oh, that's to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you've jogged too far."
Pre flight theory is so boring!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Matthew Allan McNelly, 23, and Joey Lee Miller, 20 from Carroll, Iowa. Flakey disguise Matthew Allan McNelly, 23, and Joey Lee Miller, 20 were arrested last Friday night after they tried to break into an apartment in Carroll, Iowa. A witness called police to alert them to the attempted break in, and said that the suspects then drove off in a white car. Police tracked the car down a few blocks away, and - having been told that the suspects appeared to be wearing holsters - arrested them at gun point, the Daily Times Herald newspaper reported. As it turned out, the duo didn't have either guns or holsters on them. They did, however, have permanent marker scribbled all over their faces, which made them rather easy to identify. The pair have been charged with second-degree attempted burglary, and McNelly has also been charged with driving while intoxicated.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Teri Re:Printing labels Dear Webby I have been told to dress up our shipping labels for envelopes and parcels, but WORD is a bit to limited for that. What do you use? Teri Dear Teri Word Perfct has handled labels perfectly since the days when dot matrix printers sounded like machine guns, long before there was a Microsoft Word. While I use Open Office Write for most writing, their label writing module still needs a bit of growing up. If you want to include graphics, you have to save it as HTML, and print that. Then Open Office works fine with all Avery labels. Once you get used to that, it's OK, and free. Word Perfect is not free, but you can usually find it on http://pricegrabber.com for $10 - $15 for the whole WordPerfect Office Suite. That also includes Quattro, an Enterprise grade spreadsheet program. WordPerfect's label module works perfectly with all Avery and many other labels, and is smooth and slick enough for continuous and every day use. However, if you print more than 200 labels a day, you will be better off getting a dedicated label printer from Brother. They have their own software included, and use rolls of labels instead of the expensive sheets with labels on them. Have FUN! DearWebby
Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night? Nurse: No change yet.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Rotate Your Kids Toys Keep the toy box fresh and "new" for your kids, and have fewer toys to clean up. You can do this by putting away half of their toys. When they tire of the toys they have out, begin to rotate the toys by putting a few "new" ones out and tucking away some of the toys they have been using for another time. By Marie from West Dundee, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

"Recently we got a call from that big white church at 11th and Walnut," the paramedic said. "A frantic usher was very concerned that during the sermon an elderly man passed out in a pew and appeared to be dead. The usher could find no pulse and there was no noticeable breathing." "What was so unusual and demanding about this particular call?" the interviewer asked. "Well," the paramedic said, "we carried out four guys before we found the one who was dead."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. Success is a relative term. It brings too many relatives. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop

» Prickly Things
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Irregular Subscriptions 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  October 28, 2009

"When you build bridges you can keep crossing them." ---Rick Pitino
Did you hear about the 79 year old woman who talked herself out of a speeding ticket by telling the young officer that she had to get there before she forgot where she was going?
Someone in our neighborhood put a huge sofa out by the curb for trash collection. Since it was in good shape, many motorists slowed down for a look. But when they saw how enormous it was, they'd leave. Eventually a compact car pulled up, and two men got out. "This I've got to see," I thought. They removed the cushions, turned the sofa upside down, and shook it hard. Then they picked up all the coins that tumbled out and drove off.
Thanks to Kim for this picture: Beavers are at it again
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Conway, 34, in Salem, Massachusets Not Ex-wife's sex toys SALEM, Mass. (UPI) -- Police in Massachusetts said a man stopped on the street with a bag full of stolen goods initially told officers the bag was full of his ex-wife's sex toys. Investigators said patrolling officers saw Michael Conway, 34, walking around Salem Tuesday morning with an empty bag, and he was stopped a few hours later when the same officers saw that his bag had become full, the Salem (Mass.) News reported. Salem police Lt. Conrad Prosniewski said the officers asked Conway about the bag's contents, and he told them it was full of his ex-wife's sex toys. However, the officers peered into the bag and discovered another man's wallet, a couple's checkbook, lottery tickets, a Garmin GPS device, compact discs, an American Express receipt, a couple of Lynn parking tickets, two cell phone chargers, a pink iPod, a camera, a Nissan key, gold charms and a watch. Police said they determined many of the items were from three cars that had been broken into nearby and they were working to identify the owners of the remaining items. Conway was charged with burglarizing the vehicles and two counts each of receiving stolen property and felony larceny. Police said more charges are expected as the investigation progresses.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Marge Re: Irregular newsletter Marge d wrote: i really enjoy your dear webby letter,just wish i could get it everyday Marge Dear Marge I can't do more than sending it out every day. NEB Rural Route even blocks regular mail from me to you, so I will also send this from gmail. They can still block that, but it might slip by them. You may need to get a Gmail on the side, for when the sniveling ninnies mess with your email. Gmail takes a bit of getting used to, but at leat it is reliable, Have FUN! DearWebby
A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. "This place," the guide told them, "is 1600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years." "Wow," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same landlord I have."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Clothing Exchange Parties Here is a great way to help each other out with clothing, works for adult clothes too. Get your neighborhood, church or whatever together for a clothing exchange. Instead of tossing clothes out or donating to an organization, donate to each other. To make it fair, we cut up different colors of construction paper to represent money values, everyone gets the same amount to spend. This way no one person can scoop it all up. You can also trade items of equal value. It gets to be really fun! Then whats left over can be picked up by goodwill. It really saves on the clothing budget and it feels good to help each other out. We have lots of girls in my neighbor so it works out well and they have fun wearing each others clothes too! By Traceyvarela from Santa Rosa Beach, Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A 48-year-old Slovenian man who was refused an appointment with a psychiatrist at a hospital in Izola drove his car through the hospital's glass doors and down the corridor, stopping at the reception desk to demand that he see a psychiatrist. When questioned by police as to why he did this, he rather expectedly replied, "I don't know - that's why I'm here."
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One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto the street at the end of the ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting into her car. The driver placed the bucket of chicken on top of her car, got in and drove off with the bucket still on top of her car. So the trooper decided to pull her over and perform a community service by giving the driver her chicken. He pulled her over, walked up to the car, pulled the bucket off the roof and offered it to the driver. The driver looked at the trooper and said, "No thanks, I just bought some."

» Prickly Things
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How do I record screen action? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  October 27, 2009

"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards." --- Fred Maslack There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. --- Ben Williams Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws. --- Plato (427-347 B.C.)
Leah and Shifrah are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time. Shifrah is upset because she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore. "As I get older he doesn't bother to look at me," Shifrah cries. "I'm so sorry for you. As I get older my husband says that I get more beautiful every day," replies Leah. And Leah says, "Yes, but your husband is an antique dealer."
"I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power outage caused the lights to flicker overhead. 'That,' he sighed, 'must be her checking out now.' "
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Water Hyacinth
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to an Italian driver in Switzerland Cometary Driving Driver gets 15 citations in 11 minutes ST. GALLEN, Switzerland (UPI) -- Swiss police said an Italian man set a record for traffic violations in their country by racking up 15 moving violations in the space of 11 minutes. Police in St. Gallen said the 47-year-old's spree of road violations began when he drove past police while speeding 100 mph in a 60 mph zone during the weekend, the Daily Mail reported. Officers said the ensuing offenses include driving too close to other cars, driving too close to the curb, weaving across the white dividing line, failing to stop for police sirens, barreling through red lights, speeding through a construction zone and driving on a hard shoulder of a roadway. The driver was finally stopped at a roadblock and issued additional violations including driving under the influence of drugs, failing to drive with due care and attention and using a mobile telephone at the wheel. "This character will be getting his driving license back around the time Haley's Comet makes its next appearance," a St. Gallen police spokesman said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Elvira Re: How do I record screen action? Dear Webby I need to make a little movie that shows my dear friends at the Lodge how to make spam filters in MailWasher. Yeah, I know its easier than falling into bed, but some of them expect it to be a lot more complicated, and they get confused. And some of them are a bit forgetful. What have you got, that will escort me through that chore? Thanks Elvira Dear Elvira Screencast-O-Matic will do that ncely. You can find a link to it in my tool box, if you lose this link. It is about a quarter of the way down the tool box page, just above Open Office. You don't have to download and install a program, it's all done "in the cloud". You just save what you produce, or send the movie to uTube. Have FUN! DearWebby
He's teaching her arithmetic, He said it was his mission, He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, "Now that's addition." And as he added smack by smack In silent satisfaction, She sweetly gave the kisses back and said, "Now that's subtraction." Then he kissed her, she kissed him, Without an explanation, And both together smiled and said, "That's multiplication." Then Dad appeared upon the scene and Made a quick decision. He kicked that kid three blocks away And said, "That's long division!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Teaching My Grandson About Money I am trying to teach my grandson about money and how to be savvy with it. For Thanksgiving, I gave him 3 one dollar bills. His father took him to the dollar store and let him buy a gift for his mother for Christmas. He decided to get her a tool that cuts fruit like apples into sections. He also bought himself some little soldiers. By Carol from PABy Carol from PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. "We need a fourth for poker," said the friend. "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?" "Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, there are three doctors there already!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening. They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane. Upon investigation, they found a semi-conscious man in a pool of blood. "Help me, I've been mugged and beaten", he pleaded. The two social workers turned and walked away. One remarked to his colleague: "You know the person that did this *really* needs help. We'll have to do a study in spring when it's not so cold, and file a report."

» Curved Spiral Adobes
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Free slideshow maker 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  October 26, 2009

One ship sails east, another west, By the self same winds that blow. It isn't the gales, it's the set of the sails, That determines the way we go. --- Ella Wheeler Wilcox Sometimes I wonder whether the country is being run by smart people, who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it. --- Mark Twain
Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing the sick-leave provisions set out by their contract. One morning at the bargaining table, the company's chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, "This man," he announced, "called in sick yesterday!" There on the sports page, was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score. A union negotiator broke the silence in the room. "Wow!" he said. "Just think of the score he could have had if he wasn't sick!"
The children were lined up for lunch in the cafeteria of the school. At the head of the table sat a large bowl of apples, to which the teacher had attached the following note: "Take only one, God is watching." At the other end of the table was a large platter of chocolate chip cookies to which one clever young boy had attached this note: "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
Thanks to Dianne for this picture: Viaduc de Millau, France
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Aleh Kot, 32, of West Springfield, Mass Man arrested after 1,000 mile test drive JANESVILLE, Wis. (UPI) -- A man who took a car on a test drive from a Massachusetts dealer traveled more than 1,000 miles to Wisconsin before he was pulled over, police said. Investigators said Aleh Kot, 32, of West Springfield, Mass., drove onto the Massachusetts Turnpike at about 1 p.m. in the 2010 Honda Accord with a salesman from Balise Honda in the passenger seat, The Republican, Springfield, Mass., reported Tuesday. Kot drove at speeds of up to 125 mph on the road, but the car salesman was able to escape the car in heavy traffic near a tollbooth in West Stockbridge, Mass. A Wisconsin State Patrol trooper pulled Kot over for speeding at about 4:20 a.m. Oct. 16 near Janesville, Wis. Kot was arrested for speeding, reckless driving and driving a vehicle without the owner's permission. He also faces charges of kidnapping, car theft, larceny and assault and battery in Massachusetts.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bill Re: Slide Show maker HI WEBBY LONG TIME FAN OF YOUR HUMOR LETTER AND THINKING. I HAVE A TASK AT HAND, THAT I CANNOT MASTER. I NEED TO MAKE A SLIDESHOW OF LOTS OF PICTURES AND THEN MOVE THEM TO A DVD. CAN YOU TELL ME HOW OR POINT ME TO A PROGRAM THAT IS USER FRIENDLY . IN THE PAST YOU HAVE ANSWERED SEVERAL QUESTIONS AND ALL HAVE BEEN VERY GOOD. THANKS FOR ALL YOU DO. YOUR HUMOR AND YOUR SUPPORT FOR YOUR READERS HAS BEEN APPRECIATED THANKS A LOT BILL Dear Bill Try Photostage Slideshow Software It is free and does all that, plus a lot more. It even does fades and fancy transitions from picture to picture. Photostage lets you set your photos to a soundtrack, record your own narrations and overlay text captions. You can burn the slide show onto CD or DVD, attach it to email or upload it onto the web. Hopefully you can send me a sample of what you create! Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Jess for this one: Dear Webby: I thought I might send you a cute story that happened in our church when our children were small. One Sunday during the morning church service our pastor was preaching away and his sermon came to a high point and he asked the question: "What is your problem?" Just as he asked the question a little boy was in the isle, he had started toward the bathroom. Thinking that the preacher was talking to him, the little guy just stopped, looked up at him, and said, "I gotta pee." To say the least the laughter took over and the sermon was never the same after that!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Bake a Few Potatoes Ahead Whether you purchase potatoes in bulk and they're coming close to their expiration date or you simply like short cuts for daily meal preparation, try this: Bake up a few taters ahead. After baking you can peel them (or not) and then cube, slice, quarter, mash or simply place them whole in to individual baggies. Store what you think you'll want for the coming week in the fridge and the rest in the freezer. By Deeli from Richland, WA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Trina is very attentive when she goes out on a date. Lately, at a movie she was overheard to say: Trina: "Can you see, dear ? Date: "Yes" Trina: "Is your seat comfortable ?" Date: "Yes" Trina: "Is there a draft on you ?" Date: "No" Trina: "Good ! Let's change seats."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Two priests were talking. The older one said to the younger, "When you came to our church I wondered how your new ideas were going to work. "When you replaced the front pews with bucket seats, I had my doubts. But now at every mass, the front seats are filled with young people. "When you 'jazzed up' the choir by singing new and peppy songs, I was afraid it might offend the older folks, but we have more people in church now than ever. "When you wanted to put in the drive-through confessional, I have to admit I thought you'd lost it. But more people are coming to confession than ever. "However, the neon sign out front that reads: 'Toot 'n tell or go to Hell' has to go!

» Natural Phenomena
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Will Open Office work without effecting Microsoft works? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  October 25, 2009

"We judge of man's wisdom by his hope." --- Ralph Waldo Emerson "Wise men put their trust in ideas and not in circumstances." --- Ralph Waldo Emerson An artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. --- Emile Zola "You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions." --- Naguib, Mahfouz
In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur." The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular wine, but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary. "Could you please spell that?" she asked. "You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e".
Jill was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor opened his questioning with, "Where were you the night of August 24th?" "Objection!" said the defense attorney. "Irrelevant!" "Oh, that's okay," said Jill from the witness stand. "I don't mind answering the question." "I object!" the defense said again. "No, really," Jill said. "I'll answer." The judge ruled: "If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object." So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the night of August 24th?" Jill replied brightly, "I don't remember."
1000+ year old beer billboard in Barrier Canyon near Moab, UT Corona seems to be the only brand still in use today.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to James Robinson, 32, of Florence, Ohio Driver downs drink as cops arrest him James Robinson had one more for the road, police said. After all, they don’t serve hard liquor in jail. When police caught the 32-year-old Florence man early Monday driving with an open bottle of Smirnoff Vodka, Robinson finished off the final sips as he was being arrested, police said. That last drink resulted in an additional charge of tampering with evidence. Robinson is facing charges of operating a motor vehicle while intoxicated and having an open container of alcohol. Springdale police were called to Ventura Court after getting a call that Robinson was trying to break into his former wife’s home. Robinson had fled in a white Toyota by the time officers arrived, setting in motion a search, police said. Officers pulled Robinson over down the road, quickly noticing “a strong odor of alcohol on his person and bloodshot, glassy eyes,” according to the arrest report. Robinson failed a field sobriety test, police said. That’s when he guzzled down the remaining vodka, police said.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Dani Re: Will Open Office interfere with MS Works? Good Morning Webby, I hope you are having a good day. Will Open Office work without effecting Microsoft works? Thank you for your expert advise always. Dani Dear Dani yes, sure. It is a totally independent program, and you can easily pick up old Works and Office files with it without any problem. You can even export what you write as PDF, not just in any of dozens of word processor and spreadsheet formats. Have FUN! DearWebby
Petra had forgotten to get her estrogen patch prescription refilled, and soon the symptoms of menopause--hot flashes, forgetfulness, irritability, short temper, bossiness, aches and pains, etc., etc. returned. Eventually she wound up at the drugstore and was telling the pharmacist all about her problems. After listening patiently, he asked, "So, how many people asked you to get this refilled?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Cake Mix to Flour a Pan My mom gave me this tip a few years ago. When a cake mix calls for greasing and flouring the pans, she uses butter to grease and some of the dry cake mix to flour the pan. The cake doesn't end up with white on the outside and it doesn't taste bad like flour would. By Lori from Indiana And then there is the method lazy bachelors like me use: Line the cake pan with wax paper. After baking, tilt the pan a bit, give the paper a little tug and the cake slides out onto the cooling rack. The pan is clean and ready for the next cake. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

A woman brought an old picture of her dead husband, wearing a hat, to the photographer. She wanted to know if the photographer could remove the hat from the picture. He convinced her he could easily do that, and asked her what side of his head her husband parted his hair on. "I forgot," she said. "But you can see that for yourself when you take off his hat."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Thanks to Sandie for this story: A train hit a bus filled with Catholic School kids and they all perish The go to heaven and try to enter the pearly gates Saint Peter asks the first, a girl named Kelly, if she ever had contact with a male organ? She giggles and shyly replies "Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger". Saint Peter says, "OK dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and pass through the gates." He asks the next girl the same question she said "Well I once fondled and stroked one." He says, "Ok dip your whole hand into the holy water and pass through the gates." All of a sudden their was a tremendous commotion in the line. One girl pushed her way to the front of the line. When she got to the front of the line he asked her, "Mariah what seems to be the rush?" She answerd, "! if I am going to have to gargle that holy water I want to do it before before Todd sticks his fat butt in it!"

» Pumpkin Wizard
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Verdict on Windows 7 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday,  October 24, 2009

"All you need for happiness is a good gun, a good horse, and a good wife." --- Daniel Boone "Happiness is a way station between to little and too much." --- Channing Pollock "Happiness makes up in height for what it lacks in length." --- Robert Frost "A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents." --- G. C. Lichtenberg
A golfer who was known for his bad temper walked into the pro shop one day and plunked down big bucks for a new set of Woods. The staff all watched to see what would happen after he used them for the first time - more than half expecting he'd come in and demand his money back. But the next time he came in, he was all smiles. "They're the best clubs I've ever had," he said. "In fact,I've discovered I can throw them at least 40 yards farther than I could my last ones."
Ole and Lena went to the hospital so Lena could deliver their first baby. As Ole waited in the lobby, the doctor came out to talk to him. The doctor said, "I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you have a normal baby boy. The bad news is that it is a cesarean." Ole started crying, and said, "Vel, I'm glad it is a healthy baby, but I vas kinda hoping it vould be Norwegian!"
See today's Bonehead Award
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dennis Anderson, 62, in Proctor, Minnesota Drunk Lazy Boy Driver A Minnesota man arrested last year for drunkenly driving a motorized La-Z-Boy lounge chair pleaded guilty this week to a DWI charge. Dennis Anderson, 62, was nabbed after driving his chair into a parked car, according to a Proctor Police Department report. A subsequent blood draw showed Anderson's blood alcohol content was .29, more than three times the legal limit. Following his guilty plea, Anderson was sentenced to 180 days in jail and ordered to pay a $2000 fine. A judge stayed Anderson's jail term in lieu of his successful completion of a two-year supervised probation term. His La-Z-Boy, which Proctor cops seized shortly after Anderson's arrest, will soon be auctioned along with items forfeited by other perps.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Final Verdict on Windows 7? Dear Webby, Have you got a final decision on Windows 7 yet? Safe to switch from XP or should I wait a while yet? Thanks for all your great help and advise. Ann Dear Ann No, it is definitely not safe. And there is absolutely no reason for paying to be a guinea pig. XP works fine and you are used to it. Remember all the hype about Vista, that was all just BS? Well, now you get the new and improved hype about Windows 7. Since there is nothing out there, that requires Windows 7, it's best to wait until Windows 7 SP2. By then they will have most of the bugs worked out. Hopefully. Until then, just sit back and chuckle about all the sob stories of what happens to people who switched too early. Have FUN! DearWebby
An Easterner was riding with a rancher over a blistering and almost barren stretch of West Texas, when a strange bird scurried in front of them. Asked by the Easterner what the bird was, the rancher replied, "That's a bird of paradise." The stranger from the East rode on in silence for a moment, then said, "Long way from home, isn't it??" ...and the fight was on....
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Refill Bottled Drinks With Juice and Water I used to buy Snapple and other bottled drinks when I was at work or school, but it got expensive and I was worried about all the bottles I was wasting. Now I save the bottles, wash them out, fill them a third with juice and pop them in the freezer. The next day I fill them to the top with water. I then have flavored water which stays cold. By Heather from Los Angeles, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

teacher during an arithmetic lesson. "If you had five pounds," said the teacher, "and I asked you for the loan of three pounds, how many would you have left?" "Five," said young MacTavish firmly. "Five?" the teacher said "How do you make it five?" "Well," replied young MacTavish "You can ask for a loan of three pounds, but after what you said at the last Parent-Teacher meeting, just asking for a loan doesn't mean you will get it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea. "I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails. He makes me terribly nervous." "My William used to do the same thing," the older woman replied. "But I broke him of the habit." "How?" "I hid his teeth." "Serves him right for hiding YOUR teeth so that you couldn't go to the mall."

» Art of Taxidermy
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Ericcson Laptop 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Friday,  October 23, 2009
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. --- Walter Bagehot
Steve wasn't feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, "Well, Steve, based on my examination, the best thing for you is to cut out all sweets and fatty foods, give up alcohol, and stop smoking." "To be honest with you, Doc," said Steve, "I don't deserve the best. What's the SECOND best?"
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the day when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: He orders three pints and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "everyone's fine. It's me. me wife made me join that Baptist Church an I've had to quit drinking. Didn't affect me brother's, though."
Puu Oo Vent on Mount Kilauea, Hawaii Pretty, but don't tell the Algorian Sheep about it. They would want to cap and tax it!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to two NorthWest Airlines pilots Northwest Flight Misses MSP Airport Published : Thursday, 22 Oct 2009, 2:28 PM CDT MINNEAPOLIS - The NTSB is investigating a case of distracted pilots at the controls after a Northwest Airlines flight overshot the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport by about 150 miles. According to the National Transportation Safety Board, Northwest Flight 188 from San Diego to Minneapolis lost radio contact with air-traffic controllers around 6:56 p.m. CDT on Wednesday. The Airbus A320, cruising at 37,000 feet, was carrying 144 passengers and five crew, said Delta. At 7:58 p.m. CDT, the plane flew over MSP Airport and continued northeast for approximately 150 miles. The MSP air traffic controller reestablished communications with the crew at 8:14 p.m. and said that the crew had become distracted and had overflown MSP, and requested to return to Minneapolis According to the FAA, the crew was interviewed by the FBI and Minneapolis airport police. The crew said they were in a heated discussion over airline policy and they lost "situational awareness." Military fighter jets in two locations were on alert after communication was lost with the NWA plane. Pilots were in the jets on the tarmacs, fueled up and waiting for orders. The NTSB is scheduling an interview with the flight crew. Flight data and voice records have been secured and sent to the NTSB in Washington. Delta has taken all involved pilots off of active flight duty until the investigation is complete.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Lillemor Re: Ericsson laptop Dear Webby, from a friend.... thought you might try this also. I actually checked this on Snopes at 11:11 AM this morning and it’s currently legitimate so I’m going for the R320. Thanks, M- I DID check Snopes - it IS legit ... They're trying to match a recent deal by Nokia! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ericsson T18 & R320 laptop promotion I DID check Snopes - it IS legit ... They're trying to match a recent deal by Nokia! ---------- blah, blah, blah --------- Dear Lillemor That is a very Dumb Hoax Remember, Snopes lost all credibility during the 2008 election campaign. Ericson is a phone company and does not make laptops. DUH! No wonder Obama got elected. Gene pool needs more Chlorine, or your Gullibility Epidemic is going to get outa hand! Have FUN! DearWebby
"Electricity originates inside clouds. There, it forms into lightning, which is attracted to the Earth by golfers. After entering the ground, the electricity hardens into coal, which, when dug up by power companies and burned in big ovens called 'generators,' turns back into electricity. The power company sells it to consumers who use TV sets to transform it into commercials for beer, which passes through the consumers and back into the ground, thus completing what is known as a 'circuit.' "
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com No new tip today Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Jimmmie came home from school one day, all banged up, bloodied, and bruised. His father asked him what happened and Jimmie said, "Well, dad, it's like this. I challenged Larry to a duel and you know how that goes . . . I gave him his choice of weapons." "Uh huh," said the father. "That seems fair." "I know . . . but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"
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"What's your father's occupation?" asked the school teacher. "He's a magician, ma'am," said Little Johnny. "How interesting. What's his favorite trick?" asked the teacher. "He saws people in half," answered Little Johnny. "Wow! That must be amazing to watch," said the teacher. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" And Little Johnny said, "One half brother and two half sisters."

» Old Tire Art
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Windows Police Pro 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday,  October 22, 2009

Choice, not chance, determines destiny." --- Socratex The road to a friend's house is never long. --- Danish proverb
A Catholic priest, a Protestant minister, and a Jewish rabbi were discussing when life begins. "Life begins," said the priest, "at the moment of fertilization. That is when God instills the spark of life into the fetus." "We believe," said the minister, "that life begins at birth, because that is when the baby becomes an individual and is capable of making its own decisions and must learn about sin." "You're both wrong," said the rabbi. "Life begins when the children have graduated and moved out of the house."
While a friend and I were visiting Annapolis, we noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand. "What are they doing?" I asked our tour guide. "Each year," he replied with a grin, "The upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard." When we were out of earshot of the freshmen, my friend asked our guide: "So what's the answer?" The guide replied: "One."

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a store robber in Lippe, Germany Robbery suspect robs another shop while on way to police station A 41-year-old robbery suspect in Germany made efficient use of his time - while on his way to the police station to be questioned over one robbery, he stopped to rob another shop. 'It was a case of "just nipping out to do a bit of thieving before being interrogated for shoplifting",' police in the western region of Lippe said on Tuesday. The man's cunning plan was only uncovered when police checking that morning's supermarket robbery in the town of Blomberg - for which they had detailed descriptions of two thieves and their getaway car - were surprised to find a man closely matching the description waiting in the reception of their police station. The man was there to be interrogated over a previous shoplifting incident. Outside, police said said they found his accomplice sitting with the stolen goods in a car with the matching number plate. The man now faces a second set of charges.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Kathy Re: Windows Police Pro Dear Webby, Please help! My computer crashed on me two days ago.When it happened,I was on IE when a full screen came up telling me that Windows Police Pro had found virus's on my computer.One of them was called Half Lemon.I know that this could not be from Windows,mainly because of the poor spelling. The large screen is so large that I can not read anything on my desktop.There are two more screens popping up with warnings also.I have anti virus and a firewall. I am not able to remove this,nor am I able to get online at all.I can get to my folders,but I am afraid to open them.Thank you so much for all the help that you give us. Sincerely, Kathy Dear Kathy Sounds like you need a LOT better virus control, than you have on that machine. Windows Police Pro is a well known trojan and most of the decent anti-virus programs block it. If you can't get online with that machine, your options are very limited. The info about Windows Police Pro is here: http://www.2-spyware.com/remove-windows-police-pro.html It CAN be removed manually with the instructions on that page, and they have links there for some programs, that will remove it. Check with the vendors of those programs, whether you can save their program onto a CD and take it to the infected machine. If you decide to try to remove it manually, print out the instructions on that page, including the help files they got for each step. It is not really that difficult, just a bit tedious. Please be aware that Windows Police Pro cripples your anti-virus program. After you get rid of it, you will need to un-install your anti-virus program and re-install it fresh. You may also have to repair some Windows files, and in extreme cases even re-install Windows. However, at least you will be able to copy your important data to CD or DVD before doing a re-install. Have FUN! DearWebby
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" a girl in the line said to the little fella. Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles, she said, while tracing her finger across the child'scheek. "Freckles are beautiful!" The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Trick or Treating Bag A white pillow case (or any old one will do) works really well for trick or treating. It holds lots of candy, won't tear and can be seen by motorists when most costumes are dark. They can be decorated to look more festive. For shorter children, they could be cut down shorter or folded inward to half the size. By Candy from Hector, MN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained, "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. 'Hon,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" The voice from the back asked, "Did it save time?" The expert replied, "Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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A young woman decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn't sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her friend next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size. "Buffy," she said, "how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?" "Twenty," said Buffy. So the girl bought the twenty rolls of paper and did the job, but she had 12 rolls left over. "Buffy," she said. "I bought twenty rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I've got 12 left over!" "Amazing!" said Buffy. "So did I."

» Ultimate Light Show
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HTTP ERROR 12152 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday,  October 21, 2009

Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything. --- Muhammad Ali
Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl. Fred thought for a moment and said, "OK, I'll buy the chocolate. Then YOU can give the money to charity."
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects? JOSE: Don't bite any. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". ELLEN: I is... TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am." ELLEN: All right, have it your way.... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
Lahr, Germany
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Stacy Kolinski, 22, of Lafayette, NY NY woman arrives drunk to pick up DUI friend LAFAYETTE, N.Y. (AP) - Troopers have charged a 22-year-old upstate New York woman with aggravated driving while intoxicated after she showed up drunk at the state police barracks to give a ride to a friend who had been arrested earlier for DWI. Troopers said Stacy Kolinski had a blood alcohol level of .20 percent - more than double the legal limit - when she arrived at the Lafayette barracks 10 miles south of Syracuse around 2:30 a.m. Sunday. Kolinski came to the barracks to give a ride to 34-year-old George Reddick who was stopped for speeding earlier Sunday morning and charged with DWI and misdemeanor criminal possession of cocaine. Reddick and Kolinski were both issued tickets to appear in town court at a later date, preferably sober.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Annette Re: HTTP ERROR 12152 Dear Webby, Good morning, this is my enjoy time of the day, early morning and reading your news. Hope you are having a gooday and week. Can you tell me what a HTTP ERROR 12152 is? I would like to know so I can try and fix a problem I keep getting, thanks Annette. Dear Annette usually that error indicates a connection problem. Test your connectivity with the Internet Frog: http://internetfrog.com/mypc/speedtest/ Sometimes you can clear a bad connection by getting to a DOS command prompt and typing ipconfig /flushdns and hit Enter. Then try the frog again. You can use your numbers as ammo when you call your ISP. Have FUN! DearWebby
When the car engine developed a slight knock, Joe asked his wife if she had bought high octane or regular gas, but she couldn't remember. "You probably got the cheaper gas," he said. "That could account for the roughness of the engine." "No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly. "Well, how much did it cost?" asked the husband probingly. "It cost the same as always," Nancy replied. "I told the man to put in ten dollars worth, as usual."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Refurbish Old Plastic Pumpkins With Paint Recycle your old faded plastic pumpkins with a new coat of paint and a little glitter. Acrylic paint works best for indoor and outdoor use. By Laura from Newberry, FL Unless you have old pumpkin paint sitting around, it will be a lot cheaper to buy a fresh pumpkin. Paint is getting more expensive, but pumpkins are getting cheaper. Pumpkin seeds are amongst the world's 10 healthiest foods. If you wash them, sprinkle them with steak spice or onion salt, and lightly roast them for 10 minutes, you can use them for an interesting TV snack, or toss them into a salad. Or sprinkle them with sugar and cinnamon instead, before roasting. They will turn the most boring porridge into a royal breakfast. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

At a Milwaukee post office, a woman complained to the clerk that when she was a kid the Pony Express rider could get a letter from Milwaukee to St. Louis in two days, and now it takes three. "I'd like to know why," she scoffed. The clerk thought a moment and then suggested, "Hmmm, maybe that pony is gettin too old for that route?"
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Michael was talking to Roy one day, and said, "My wife suggested that I take up a new sport this summer." Roy said, "Wow, that's nice. It shows that she has your interests at heart. Did she make any suggestions?" Michael replied, "As a matter of fact, she did. By the way, do you know how to play this Russian Roulette" ?

» Pathways
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Seeing double 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday,  October 20, 2009

Now there's an updated version of the three R's: Readin', 'Remote control handling' .. and Replacin' the batteries in the remote control. --- Socratex Nothing is ever accomplished by a reasonable man. --- George Bernard Shaw Tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other. Tell a woman something, it goes past both of her ears. Whisper something near a woman, it goes in in both her ears and comes out of the mouth of every woman in town. --- Mark Twain
A professor was giving a lecture on company slogans in a college advertising and marketing class. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'Come fly the friendly skies'?" "United." Joe answered. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company uses the slogan, 'Just do it'?" John answered, "Mom."
There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for repairing our new church roof. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."
Thanks to Cookie for sending this picture:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to 22-year-old Brittney L. Diaz of Springdale, Arkansas Child left by mom after hit and run RoPolice in Springdale charged a mother for allegedly leaving her 4-year-old child behind when she fled a traffic crash. Police were called early Saturday morning to a traffic accident at an intersection. When they arrived, 22-year-old Brittney L. Diaz of Springdale was gone from the scene. Her child was being helped by the other driver. Both were taken to a hospital. Police responded at 1:49 a.m. to a two-vehicle accident in which Diaz was driving a beige Mitsubishi Diamante that collided with a silver Jaguar XK8 at Thompson Street and Twin City Avenue, when he failed to yiel the right of way. . The child was ejected from Diaz's car before she fled, according to the arrest report. Witnesses told police the child was lying face down in the roadway after the accident. The driver of the Jaguar, Jason Walsh, 39, got out of his car and picked the child up from the road, the report states. Police say Diaz was caught a short distance from the accident scene. She was arrested after being treated at a hospital. She is charged with leaving the scene of an accident and first-degree endangering the welfare of a minor, both felonies. Diaz was also issued citations for no child safety restraint and failure to yield in addition to the felony charges. She was released Saturday from the Washington County Detention Center on a $2,500 bond.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Christine Re: Seeing Double Dear Webby, I really enjoy your column & all your good advice. Could you please tell me why I receive everything in doubles from you? It takes twice as long to delete the doubles. Thank you & God Bless Christine L. Dear Christine You had subscribed to both the regular and to the large font version, most likely on a day when Yahoo failed to deliver your preferred version. I have now UN-subscribed you from the Large Font version. Have FUN! DearWebby
Mrs. Jones is having her house painted, and her husband comes home from work and leans against the freshly painted wall.The next day, she says to the painter, "You wanna see where my husband put his hand last night? "He sighs and says, "Look, lady, I got a tough day's work ahead of me. Why don't you just make us a cup of tea?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Planning for Retirement Be prepared. Make sure you haven't any bills to pay out, like a car or house payments. Do you have your second insurance to cover you and your spouse when you see a doctor, or be rushed to the hospital? Medicare will take out $96.50 per month from your S.S. check. Even without car or house payments, you still have to pay for water, gas, and/or an electric bill. Also, you have to maintain your car. You will need to buy a health coverage for your medications. Take stock for what you have to pay out each month and how much you can put back for travel or trips that may come up that weren't planned. You will get a retirement check, but if you owe money you can get hurt. You will live on what you get for one month before another check arrives. Spend wisely. Grow some of your food, even if it's grown in big flowers pots. Take this from someone who has lived on retirement for three years. Be sure in save some money before you have that last day at work. By Shonda from Grand Rivers, KY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes". The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..." After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the telephone and gave her a call. Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember to whom."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Two voices, male and female, on an overnight "red eye" plane flight: "I think everyone's asleep, let's go" Sound of steps. "This one's empty. No one is looking. You go in first" "It's a bit cramped, let me sit down" "Have you got the condom? Quick, put it on" Sniff sniff "Ah perfume! You think of everything." "This is great..." (long sigh) Static on the loud speaker then a new voice. "This is the captain speaking, to those two people in the rear toilet. We know what you're doing, and it is expressly forbidden by the Government that YOU elected. Now, put those cigarettes out and take the condom off the smoke detector...!"

» Darling Suds
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Can anybody make money on the net? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday,  October 19, 2009

Real Humility is not a degree of ego, but a quality of compassion --- Calon Lan I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead. --- Samuel Goldwyn
Joe's daughter's eighth grade history class planned a visit to the US capital. Unfortunately, she was not greatly enthusiastic about a trip that she considered too "educational" to be fun. However, on their return, Joe was pleased to hear how she and her classmates had been filled with awe and emotion as they gazed at the Washington Monument. "To think, dad," she marveled. "We were standing right where Forrest Gump stood."
A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together. But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone, "June." "Yes, this is June." "Will you marry me?" "Of course I will! By the way, who are you?"
Me, getting of my ass? Nah.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a 23 year old robber in Little Rock, Ark Robber loses wallet, then asks victim to return it LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (AP) - Police said a would-be robber was in jail after losing his wallet during the attempted robbery then phoning the victim and demanding him to bring it to him. Little Rock police said the 23-year-old man was arrested on robbery charges Tuesday. Police said the robber tried to rob a man at gunpoint at his home but fled and dropped his wallet, then later called and told the victim to return the wallet at a service station in North Little Rock. Little Rock police were interviewing the victim when the call came and notified North Little Rock police who found the suspect outside the service station and arrested him after a short foot chase.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Evelyn Re: Can anybody make money on the net? Dear Webby, Can anybody make money on the net from home? Or does that take some special education or a pile of money to get into it in the first place? Evelyn Dear Evelyn No, not just anybody can make money on the net. If somebody is worried that earning an extra five or ten thousand a month would knock them off their subsidy or support, then they won't make a penny. The net is exactly the same as any other type of self employment. If you make your net business your priority, you will make good money. If you don't, then you won't. And no, you don't need any special education. Most of the people, who make insane amounts of money every month, didn't even finish high school. The specialized education and skills are available dirt cheap, for example that 120 video ecyclopedia of web business skills for $7 for the whole bundle. Anybody can afford that, and look up whatever they need next. There is no need to go to University for that. For any other specialized knowledge and skills there are plenty of cheap eBooks available. Just get a mentor or coach to tell you what you need versus what is a waste of time. The important prerequisites are all inside you. It's just a matter of lining up ALL of your priorities like a team of sled dogs. If they all face in the same direction, then you can go fast. For example, if you are not willing to dump your cutesy AOL address, then you are just wasting time. YOU might be one of the few honest AOLers, but there are 5 Million parasites and rip-offs giving YOU a bad name. It is too steep an uphill battle, and you won't make money that way. That is just one example. Another example is believing that, because you are so cute, you can get away with free or almost free web space. It may be a lot of fun goofing around on Yahoo and Facebook, but if you try to use those places for more than sending people to your REAL business site, then you are taking valuable time away from your business. The same goes for most of the "social" sites. They are not in business for YOUR benefit. Commercial grade web space is cheap enough, ($2 and up) and money is absolutely no excuse for playing instead of working. I could go on and on, but you see that it is mostly just a matter of lining up your priorities, latching on to a mentor or coach, and focusing on your web business. The most surprising fact is that it is easier to start a new web business and becoming very profitable, than it is to keep an old business profitable. Have FUN! DearWebby
The middle-aged man was shuffling along, bent over at the waist, as his wife helped him into the doctor's waiting room. A woman in the office viewed the scene in sympathy. "Arthritis with complications?" she asked. The wife shook her head, "Noooo,...she explained, "he tried to move the wet laundry from the washer into the dryer all by himself."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pumpkins as an Outdoor Vase When it's pumpkin time and you have flowers in your yard, why not use your pumpkin to display a bouquet of flowers on your porch or doorstep? I had a lot of marigolds which were still blooming so I arranged them in the hollowed out pumpkin. You can place a jar of water into the pumpkin so your arrangement will last a lot longer. By Sewingmamma from Pittsburgh PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Son: "Here's my report card, Dad, along with one of your old ones I found in the attic." Dad: "Well, Son, you're right. Your report card isn't any better than mine was. I guess the only fair thing to do is give you exactly the same kinda beating as what my father gave me, when I brought that one home.
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Two very successful psychoanalysts occupied offices in the same building. One was 40 years old, the other over 70. They rode on the elevator together at the end of an unbearably hot, sticky day. The younger man was completely done in, and he noted with some resentment that his senior was fresh as a daisy. "I don't understand," he marveled, "how you can listen to complaining patients from morning 'til night, on a day like this, and still look so spry and un- bothered when it's over?" The older analyst replied:"Sorry, I can't hear a thing. The battery in my hearing aid went dead a few years ago."

» Moon Plume
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Real or fake BING 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday,  October 18, 2009

Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame. --- Benjamin Franklin How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it. --- Marcus Aurelius Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of becoming. --- Goethe
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up. "Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college and I majored in theater arts. He communicates real well and I just act like I'm listening."
Getting away from their high-stress jobs, a couple spends relaxing weekends in their motor home. When they found their peace and quiet disturbed by well-meaning, but unwelcome, visits from other campers, they devised a plan to assure themselves some privacy. Now, when they set up camp, they place this sign on the door of their RV: Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package.
Thanks to Jai for this picture: Here are a couple pics from our most recent trip up to Lake Wabakimi, Canada Enjoy Jay
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Nicole Altendorf, 37, in Grnd Forks, ND Woman shows porno near school GRAND FORKS, N.D. (AP) - A woman is accused of showing a pornographic video out the window of her Grand Forks home near an elementary school. Police said 37-year-old Nicole Altendorf bit an officer's arm and kicked him several times in the groin as he tried arrest her Friday. In the squad car, she allegedly spit in the officer's face. Altendorf faces felony charges of simple assault, contact by bodily fluids and preventing arrest, along with misdemeanor charges of possessing drug paraphernalia and disorderly conduct, and of course the porno near schools charges.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Carolyn Re: bing Dear Webby, I sure hope you don't retire anytime soon!! You are the only one I trust with answers. I received a message the other day saying I needed to update (either Java or flash player, I can't remember which) and I started to do it but it said it would make Bing my toolbar. I don't know what Bing is so I got off and did not update the message. Is it safe to do use Bing? Thanks again for the great newletter and all your help. Carolyn Dear Carolyn My machines work just fine without Bing, Bong or similar Crapola. No legitimate or respectable program requires you to accept crap that you wouldn't choose voluntarily. The real Bing MIGHT be OK, but anything that is installed against your wishes, and doesn't allow you to decline, is probably seriously bad stuff. It's one thing to OFFER you the Google or Yahoo tool bar, which can be cleanly un-installed with one click, as a voluntary CHOICE, without any coercion, and something totally different to foist crap on you, without giving you the choice to decline. Neither Java nor Flash push crap on you, so most likely you got suckered into a fake or spoof.. Run a good virus and malware scan! Have FUN! DearWebby
was waiting on a London street corner. An attractive English girl was passing by when a gust of wind blew her dress above her waist. 's comment was: "A bit airy...." Hearing this, the girl replied indignantly, " 'ell yes! What did you expect ..... feathers?!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Plan Meals in Advance to Save Grocery Money The number one way I save money on my groceries is menu planning. I write out what we will have for dinner the whole week, make up the grocery list, and add to it any necessity items such as toilet paper, detergent, etc. Sticking to the list has helped me a lot in saving money buying items I don't really need that week or giving in to temptation buying things that look good, but most likely won't get used. I have cut my grocery bill by almost 40 to even 50 dollars a week by doing this. Give it a try! By Debbie from Fisher, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:

Classmates at college were lamenting the cost of long distance phone service and debating the relative advantages of AT&T, MCI, and Sprint. "I've found CTC to be the cheapest plan around," offered one. "CTC? Who are they?" "You know," he responded, "Call Them Collect."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for adults.
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One day, a foreign family arrived in New York City. This was the first time out of their native village, and it didn't take long before the wife got lost. The husband asked a passerby for help and was told to go to the police and report it. When he got there, a police officer asked him for the wife's description. "What's that?" asked the man. "Well, you see a description is telling what something looks like. For example, my wife is 25-years-old, 5'11", 140 lbs, 38-25-36 measurements. Now, what can you tell me about your wife?" "Maria can wait, lets go look for yours!"

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Well, , that's all for today. Have FUN ! Dear Webby from Webby.com





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