Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, May 14

Thanks David!

Relax about a Skype replacement. eBay did not mess it up,
when they bought it, and quite possibly, Microsoft too will
just sell it at a huge loss in a few years.

More about it in the Tech Support Pits

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!




Nothing is really work
unless you would rather be doing something else.
--- James M. Barrie

If you don't learn to laugh at trouble,
you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
--- Will Rogers



One night I was chatting with my Mom about how she had
changed as a mother from the first child to the last.

She told me she had mellowed a lot over the years:

"When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the
ambulance.

When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told
him it was coming out of his allowance."



Have I got a deal for you!
Aquaponics is on special for $37 instead of the normal $97!

What's Aquaponics? Isn't that the top secret technology
some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the
time and two to ten times the crop per square foot?
Yes, it sure is!

It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces
all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that 
cleans that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish.
Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal!

You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book
tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes
and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs.

If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab
Aquaponics, while it is on sale!
AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books!

By the way, there is no weeding necessary with Aquaponics!




A man had been driving all night and by morning was still far
from his destination.  He decided to stop at the next city he
came to, and park somewhere quiet so he could get an hour
or two of sleep.

As luck would have it, the quiet place he chose happened to
be on one of the city's major jogging routes.  No sooner had
he settled back to snooze when there came a knocking on
his window.  He looked out and saw a jogger running in place.

"Yes?"

"Excuse me, sir," the jogger said, "do you have the time?"

The man looked at the car clock and answered, "8:15".

The jogger said thanks and left.  The man settled back again,
and was just dozing off when there was another knock on
the window and another jogger.

"Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?"

"8:25!"

The jogger said thanks and left.  Now the man could see other
joggers passing by and he knew it was only a matter of time
before another one disturbed him.  To avoid the problem, he
got out a pen and paper and put a sign in his window saying,
"I do not know the time!"

Once again he settled back to sleep.  He was just dozing off
when there was another knock on the window.

"Sir, sir?  It's 8:30!."


.


Click through the picture to the large version.

Bad-hair-Day-down-below-L

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Council in York, England

York council forbids cross on cab dash

The order came after a teenage passenger told teachers about 
the blue glass crucifix.

The driver had no idea it was a problem until council bosses 
emailed his taxi company after a complaint from the school.

The man, who asked not to be named, said: ‘I took the cross 
off after we received the complaint because I didn’t want our 
taxi company to lose the contract we had with the council 
(Welfare) and I was worried about my living.

‘The point of view was taken from the child without anybody 
taking the time to contact me and get my opinion on it.
‘I was very angry about it – I was incredulous.’

The 61-year-old Frenchman, who has lived in Britain for 
30 years and regularly goes to church, had displayed the 
5cm (2in) Roman Catholic cross in his car for 18 months 
without any previous problems.

But he said being known for picking up teenagers with a 
"phallic symbol" in his car reflected badly on him.

A meeting has now been arranged with York city council, 
including the staff member who wrote the email, for Tuesday.

Clair Cook, the 29-year-old director of the cab company, 
AnD Taxis in York, said: ‘If the cross had been dangling 
that could have been different because it may have been 
obstructing his vision but there was nothing wrong with 
that crucifix.’

This is York, England, not Afghanistan. The article didn't
say whether the council members were all muslims, or
just used to getting pushed around by them.


From the Tech Support Pits:

From: David
Re: Suitable Skype Substitute?

Dear Webby,
Thank you once again for you daily humor letter - I really 
appreciate the laughs, pictures and tech section 

On the subject of Skype and its imminent conversion to 
'Microsoft improved' I have been looking around for a 
replacement for it and wondered if you knew anything 
(either through experience or reports from others) about 
one I found called "Tango" which claims to offer free 
audio and/or video calls in the same way as Skype.

Failing that, do you have any replacement that you 
would recommend?

Glad to see that you are still going strong after your mishap, 
and glad to see that you have joined me in the quitting 
smoking arena - only been just over 6 weeks for me but 
it does seem to be getting easier now.
Wishing you well and praying for you,
David

Dear David
6 weeks is a good milestone! Keep it up!

I have not tried Tango.
There is no panic. Skype again retained control, just like
when they sold themselves to eBay for 4 Billion. ebay found
out that the $1.8 Million they made on the calls to land lines
and cell phones did not justify 4 Billion dollars, and since the
Skype people only gave them interface buttons, but not the
source code, they sold it for a song.

Now Microsoft got stampeded into believing that Google was
about to buy Skype, and they started bidding quite hysterically.
Google has Google Chat, which works quite well, just has not
been promoted yet. They are not interested in buying Skype,
but were probably drinking beer with the guys from Skype
and laughing their butts off, when Microsoft bid against
itself and ran the price up to $8.5 Billion.

Dear Webby,
Thank you once again for you daily humor letter - I really appreciate the laughs, pictures and tech section 
On the subject of Skype and its imminent conversion to 'Microsoft improved' I have been looking around for a replacement for it and wondered if you knew anything (either through experience or reports from others) about one I found called "Tango" which claims to offer free audio and/or video calls in the same way as Skype.
Failing that, do you have any replacement that you would recommend?
Glad to see that you are still going strong after your mishap, and glad to see that you have joined me in the quitting smoking arena - only been just over 6 weeks for me but it does seem to be getting easier now.
Wishing you well and praying for you,

So, relax and don't panic. Don't be surprised if Microsoft
sells Skype in a few years at a huge loss, just like eBay did.

If they don't, by the time they mess it up, the competition
will be ready and by then one of them will be noticeably
better than the rest, or promoted better.

It could be the Israeli ICQ, that beat out PowWow without
being half as good. They kno how to swing the people!
It could be Cisco, or Citrix, or Google Chat, or the Tango, 
that you mentioned. It is not just software quality, as we
saw with ICQ, but promotion is equally imortant.
The best chat is no good, if you are the only one using it.

We'll see in a couple of years.
In the meantime, relax.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Magic trick: The Revelation Effect - 
Mentalism and Mind Reading! 
The Revelation Effect is the #1 Mentalism 
and Mind Reading Trick that you can do Anywhere, 
Anytime to Anyone. 

100% effective mind reading! 
Not intended for serious interrogation, 
but for entertainment. Quickly become an
effective magician and awe your audience!
Get the Revelation Effect!




One day a professor was giving a big test to his students.
He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to
wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests
back in.

The professor noticed that one of the students had attached
a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."
The next class the professor handed the tests back out.

That student got back his test, 
and $64 change.

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Cloth Napkins Instead Of Paper
Our family of four includes two children who can get very 
messy during mealtime. Instead of having them use cheap 
one-ply napkins that fall apart the minute you try to wipe 
your hands with them, I decided to use cloth napkins.

The napkins can usually be purchased for $0.50 to a $1.00 
each depending on where you buy them. I once purchased 
a clearance priced set of 4 from Target for a $1.00. I made 
sure to purchase enough for when we have family over.

You can also make your own from old cotton t-shirts but 
keep in mind the type of fabric you use will determine 
the amount of absorbency. I would strongly recommend 
you refrain from decorating the homemade napkins 
with glitter or puff paint as that might defeat their purpose.

By linex_4 from San Antonio, TX
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



Tech support people like me spend our days on the phone with
customers. Many like to chat while waiting for their computers
to reboot. One man told me he'd been a long-haul truck driver.

I'd love to drive a big rig," I said, "but I'd worry about
falling asleep at the wheel."

"Here's a tip to stay awake," he offered. "Put a $100 bill in
your left hand and hold it out the window."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Letter from a redneck aunt

Dear Billy Joe Bob,
I'm writting this slow because I know you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Pa
read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within
20 minutes of your home, so we moved. I won't be able
to send you the address because the last family that lived
here took the trailer numbers when they moved so they
wouldn't have to change their address.

We still have the same phone number though, because I
brought our old phone along. When you get out of jail, just
call us and we will come pick you up.

This place is really nice. I even has a washing machine.
I'm not sure it works so well, though, Last week I put a load
of clothes in and pulled the chain, we haven't seen it since.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Bubba
said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons
on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really
worried because it took him two hours to get me and your
father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out
what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle.
The baby looks just like your brother.

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men
tried to pull him out but he fought them off and eventually
drowned. We had him cremated; he burned for three days
and the the crematorium blew up.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck.
Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to
safety. Your other two friends were in the back, they drowned
because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

I was going to put twenty bucks for you into this letter, but
I had already sealed it. I'll send them next time.

Your Favorite Aunt
Edna-Sue






 »   World's largest cave 

[ view entry ] ( 189 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 221 )

---

FireFox 4 not ready for you? 

Friday, May 13, 2011, 09:30 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, May 13
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! 

FireFox 4 is not quite the success story, that some magazines
claim it is. Sure, it is faster than any other browser, and
scores really well in comparison tests. In some ways, it
reminds me of a Ferrari I once rented. Briefly.
Sure it was fast, but the ride comfort was worse than 
on an Amish buggy, and it was extremely noisy inside.

FF4 works well, but a lot of the add-ons have not been
checked and approved yet. Same story as with XP-SP3,
that was released, before all drivers for it were available.

If you use a lot of the neat add-ons to make the ride more
comfortable and have the world customized the way you like 
it, then you might want to wait with upgrading until version
4.2 or 4.3. 

If you don't care about the add-ons and just want raw speed,
to get the most out of your slow dial-up, then go for Firefox 
version 4.1 now. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!




Friday, the 13th ?
Watch out! It's bad luck to be superstitious!
--- Socratex

"Women and cats will do as they please
and men and dogs should relax
and get used to the idea."
--- Robert A. Heinlein



The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school and
the principal said, "Hello, this is Dunn Elementary."

The caller said, "Hi.  I'm calling to let you know that Little
Johnny Johnson won't be able to come to school all next week."

"What seems to be the problem with him?" asked the principal.

The caller said, "We are all going on a family vacation.
I sure hope there is not a problem with that."

"I guess that would be fine," said the principal.
"May I ask who is calling?"

The caller said, "Sure.  This is my father."



Have I got a deal for you!
Aquaponics is on special for $37 instead of the normal $97!

What's Aquaponics? Isn't that the top secret technology
some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the
time and two to ten times the crop per square foot?
Yes, it sure is!

It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces
all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that 
cleans that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish.
Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal!

You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book
tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes
and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs.

If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab
Aquaponics, while it is on sale!
AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books!

By the way, there is no weeding necessary with Aquaponics!




Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy,
one of the church elders offered to present him with a bottle
on one consideration - that the pastor acknowledge receipt of
the gift in the church paper.

"Gladly," responded the good man.

When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder
turned at once to the "appreciation" column.  There he read:
"The minister extends his thanks to Elder Brown for his gift
of fruit and for the spirit in which it was given."



Thanks to Dianne for this picture:
.


Click through the picture to the large version.

Serengeti sunset, Tanzania

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Raymond Roberge,65 in Bridgeport, Conn

Calls 911 Requesting Emergency Beer Run
Robert Roberge is a 65-year-old man from Bridgeport, 
Connecticut. His hobbies include pounding brewskies, 
being lonely, and calling 911 whenever he needs something. 
He's called the emergency number 79 times this year. 
Each proved to be a false alarm.

And each time the cops have warned him to stop calling over 
goofy shit. For example, he once called offering police and 
medics $20 and some loose change if they'd stay at his 
house and hang out with him.

He was back at it again on Sunday, when he called 911 
three times. This time, an ambulance and firefighters arrived 
to find a different kind of emergency. It seems Roberge was in 
need of some beer. He was hoping responders would carry out 
this important mission on his behalf by fetching some from the store,
even tough it was Sunday and beer sales are not allowed on
Sunday in Connecticut..

Alas, after his 79th call to 911, it seems officials finally lost their 
patience. Roberge was charged with misuse of the emergency system
and put into the slammer.

While looking for a mug shot, I came across this re-translation.
Seems somebody had translated the story into a foreign languiage,
and somebody else translated it back.

http://www.bestcactus.com/raymond-rober ... -for-beer/
Police in Bridgeport, Connecticut, inactive a 65-year-old Black who 
they said titled 911 at small threesome nowadays on Sun because 
he was discover of beer.

Raymond Roberge was inactive and live with misusing the 
911 system.

Police said Roberge, who has a usage of occupation the crisis 
sort for confused reasons, titled 911 individual nowadays on 
Mother’s Day, and when officers arrived at his home, he 
offered them money to go to the accumulation to acquire 
him beer.

According to personnel records, since the first of this year, 
Roberge dialed to crisis sort 79 times. They said he erst 
titled 911 and when the officers arrived, he offered them 
$ 20 to set with him.

He was free from slammer after bill a $ 500 bond.




From the Tech Support Pits:

From: Melissa
Re:  FF4 not ready for the Big Time?

Dear Webby,
I like the extra speed of FireFox 4, but the rest of it is
not ready for a spoiled brat like me. How do I get back to
FireFox 3.6 without losing all my settings?
Melissa

Dear Melissa
Get FF3.6 here:
Simply install it over top of 4.x
Don't be in a rush about it and read the questions during the
installation. For examle, select "Upgrade", not "Replacement"

Upgragde keeps your settings and bookmarks and history, 
even your open tabs. Replacement is for when your settings
are too haywire and you want to go back to a clean default.

All the weird and wicked add-ons that you used to use with 
3.6 before, will fall in place again and work, as if you had
never flirted with version 4.

Have FUN
DearWebby




Magic trick: The Revelation Effect - 
Mentalism and Mind Reading! 
The Revelation Effect is the #1 Mentalism 
and Mind Reading Trick that you can do Anywhere, 
Anytime to Anyone. 

100% effective mind reading! 
Not intended for serious interrogation, 
but for entertainment. Quickly become an
effective magician and awe your audience!
Get the Revelation Effect!




A child was on his first visit to the country at his grandparents'
ranch and feeding the chickens fascinated him.
Early one morning he caught his first glimpse of a peacock
strutting in the yard.

He rushed into the house, where his grandmother was making
breakfast and exclaimed, "Grandma, come and see!
One of the chickens is in bloom!"

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Cloth Napkins Instead Of Paper
Our family of four includes two children who can get very 
messy during mealtime. Instead of having them use cheap 
one-ply napkins that fall apart the minute you try to wipe 
your hands with them, I decided to use cloth napkins.

The napkins can usually be purchased for $0.50 to a $1.00 
each depending on where you buy them. I once purchased 
a clearance priced set of 4 from Target for a $1.00. I made 
sure to purchase enough for when we have family over.

You can also make your own from old cotton t-shirts but 
keep in mind the type of fabric you use will determine 
the amount of absorbency. I would strongly recommend 
you refrain from decorating the homemade napkins 
with glitter or puff paint as that might defeat their purpose.

By linex_4 from San Antonio, TX
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

I bought a stack of 8" x  8" micro-fiber cloths
in the mid 90's. They can absorb 8 oz (1 glass) of water, each.
Yes, amazing stuff! They also work fine for getting spaghetti
sauce out of carpets. The only problem with that is that you
wind up with a spot that is a lot cleaner than the rest of 
the carpet. I use them not only for napkins but also for 
face-cloth, pre-towel drop absorber, (-yes, one of them catches
all the drops and wetness on me after a shower, and the big
towel is just for invigorating the skin-), dish rag, for cleaning
chrome and porcellain, and so on. 

As long as you keep them out of the dryer and dry them on a line,
they seem to last forever.

Micro-fiber is not the cheapest per square inch, but sure
seems to be the most cost-effective.
Have FUN!
DearWebby


Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



The census taker knocked on an old lady's door.  He asked her
several questions and she answered all of them except one.
She refused to tell him her age.

"But everyone tells their age to the census taker," he said.

"Did Miss Maisy Hill and Miss Daisy Hill tell you their ages?"
she asked stubbornly.

"Certainly," the census taker replied.

Then the lady snapped, "Well, I'm the same age as they are."

So, the census taker intoned as he wrote on the form, 
"As old as the Hills."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from
work one day, "I have great news for you.  Pretty soon we're
going to be three in this house instead of two."

The husband started glowing with happiness.  He kissed
his wife and said, "Oh darling, this makes me the happiest
person in the world."

And she said, "I'm so happy you feel this way.
I was worried that you wouldn't like my mother."






 »   Happy Trails 

[ view entry ] ( 1 view )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 446 )

---

What changes do we have to expect with Skype? 

Thursday, May 12, 2011, 12:10 PM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, May 12

Some dodos still don't realize, that dumb auto responders just
prove, that they are a stupid and inconsiderate nuisance, 
stuck on pre-1995 drivel. Yes, once upon a time, especially
amongst AOLers, they were fashionable. 
Times have changed! 
Dumb auto-responders went out of style in the mid 90's. 
Toss out your pre 95 drivel and get with it! 

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!




There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently 
that which should not be done at all.
--- Peter Drucker

'If you don't read the newspaper 
you are uninformed, 
if you do read the newspaper, 
you are misinformed.' 
--- Mark Twain



Mr. Allen, a high-powered executive trying to impress a
client in his office, flipped on his intercom switch and
barked to his secretary, "Miss Hunter, get my broker!"

The client was impressed until he heard the secretary's
snickering voice saying, "Yes, sir, stock or pawn?"



Have I got a deal for you!
Aquaponics is on special for $37 instead of the normal $97!

What's Aquaponics? Isn't that the top secret technology
some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the
time and two to ten times the crop per square foot?
Yes, it sure is!

It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces
all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that 
cleans that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish.
Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal!

You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book
tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes
and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs.

If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab
Aquaponics, while it is on sale!
AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books!

By the way, there is no weeding necessary with Aquaponics!




As part of the admission procedure in the hospital where
Sara works, she asks the patients if they are allergic to
anything. If they are, she prints it on an allergy band
placed on the patient's wrists.

Once when she asked an elderly woman if she had any
allergies, she said she couldn't eat nuts.

Imagine Sara's surprise, when several hours later a very
irate son came out to the nurses' station screaming:
"Who's responsible for labeling my mother 'nuts'?"



Thanks to Eloise from http://eloises.ca
for this picture. Eloise specializes on gluten free baking and
provides gluten free mixes for breads, muffins, cakes and desserts.
Good stuff for everybody, and live saver for some.
.


Click through the picture to the large version.

Bouganvilla

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Dodi Wasbotton, 51 in Fontana, California

Granny Robber got caught

FONTANA, Calif. - A crime analyst who put together a flyer for the 
"Granny Bandit" wanted in a series of armed robberies outside 
department stores helped police arrest the woman Wednesday 
after she spotted the suspect during her lunch break, police said.

Dodi Wasbotten, 51, was taken into custody hours after a woman 
with a child reported being held up outside a Target store by a 
woman who was wearing a muumuu and covered her face with 
a scarf. After grabbing the victim's purse, she took off in a dark 
sedan with missing front hubcaps.

A woman matching the suspect's description was involved in 
three other stickups in the San Bernardino County city of 
Fontana since Sunday.

Women shoppers described being robbed in store parking 
lots by a gun-toting, middle-aged or elderly woman who 
covered her face. They described her as being between 
50 and 80 years old.

Green said Wasbotten, a grandmother of one, has a history 
of drug and alcohol use. He said she has been arrested by 
police before, but declined to release details of her criminal 
history.



From the Tech Support Pits:

From: Allen
Re: What changes do we have to expect with Skype?

Dear Webby,
What changes do we have to expect with Skype?
I imagine security and reliability will drop as it gets
adapted to interface with all the Microsoft stuff. What
else do we have to expect?
Allen

Dear Allen
I don't think the Skype software will be changed. That
is pretty basic stuff. They will just give Microsoft the tools
to link into it, much like PayPal gives you the tools to
build "Buy Now" buttons, that you can put onto your pages
to link into their system. Your buttons don't mess with
their system, they just link into it and use it.

The changes to expect are slightly higher rates for calling
land line and cell phone numbers and considerably higher
rates for calling Internet connected devices.

That expected increase in rates will make it easy for others
to compete. The technology is simple and old. The big deal
is the contracts with telephone companies.

Have FUN
DearWebby




Magic trick: The Revelation Effect - 
Mentalism and Mind Reading! 
The Revelation Effect is the #1 Mentalism 
and Mind Reading Trick that you can do Anywhere, 
Anytime to Anyone. 

100% effective mind reading! 
Not intended for serious interrogation, 
but for entertainment. Quickly become an
effective magician and awe your audience!
Get the Revelation Effect!




In the cemetery:

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING
FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Awww!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Removable Inserts In Birdbath
One day it occurred to me that if I got large serving dishes 
or platters etc., I could put them inside of the bath portion 
of my bird baths. When it comes time to clean them, it's a 
snap to just pour out the water, lift out the platter and just 
wash it up!

For the most part, I have found cute and colorful large 
dishes to place inside my bird baths. In the instance of 
my largest bird bath, I put the lightweight bird bath dish 
that I use in the winter inside the cement bird bath. 
Since it is extremely lightweight, cleaning is a snap! 
I also put a colorful smaller bowl in the center and some 
of the smaller birds like to land on that for their drink or 
bathing!

By Jeanasina
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



A young man visiting a dude ranch wanted to be "macho,"
so he went out walking with one of the hired hands.
As they were walking through the barnyard, the visitor
tried starting a conversation:
"Say, look at that big bunch of cows."
The hired hand replied, "Not 'bunch,' but 'herd.'"
"Heard what?"
"Herd of cows."
"Sure, I've heard of cows. There's a big bunch of 'em
right over there."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


One day a man drove his secretary to her mother's place
after her mother had slipped and fallen down the stairs.
Although nothing was broken, the mother was hurting  and
in shock and needed some help and assistance.

Although this was a totally proper and formal trip, he decided
not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily.

Later that night, the man and his wife were driving to a
restaurant.  Suddenly, he looked down and spotted a high
heel shoe half hidden between the seats. Not wanting to be
conspicuous, he waited until his wife was looking out her
window before he scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of
the window.

With a sigh of relief, he pulled into the restaurant parking
lot.  That's when he noticed his wife squirming around in
her seat.

"Honey," she asked, "have you seen my other shoe?"






 »   Glow Worm Caves NZ 

[ view entry ] ( 184 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 430 )

---

Is Firefox 4 Upgrade traumatic? 

Wednesday, May 11, 2011, 09:42 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, May 11

Big panic out there about Microsoft agreeing to buy Skype for
an outrageous amount of money, just to keep it out of Google's hands.
Ho, hum. Papers, even The Enemy Times are calling Skype a
"technological pioneer". Hogwash!

Skype is a stripped down version of PowWow, that we used in the 
early and mid 90's, before ICQ came out of Israel and killed it.
We had video chat, naturally due to the slow dial-up speeds
in those days, the video was a bit smaller and coarser, but 
PowWow had simultaneous video + voice + text + file transfer,
and stuff that is still far in Skype's future, like 300 hot-key
macros. 

For example, I had the instructions for setting up and using
FTP in a macro activated by CTRL F7. No need to type that
again, every time a new client needed to know how to get files
uploaded. Just CTRL F7, and the instructions were pasted.

Some people saved all kinds of stuff in macros, and I remember
one lady, who accidentally hit a key combo, that pasted
a lengthy cybersex text, including orgasm, into her outgoing
text window. OOOPS!  

Another feature that really helped making the Internet popular
was the "PowWow Cruise". You could have a nice, big conference
or think tank going, and invite everybody to a "cruise". 
Everybody who clicked OK to the invitation, had their browser
hitched to yours, and wherever you went, their browsers did too.
On slow cruising you stayed a while on sites that you visited and
discussed the content, on fast cruising you just stayed long enough
for everybody to bookmark the sites, and flew on to the next one.

Technically Skype is not a big deal. Where it IS a big deal is
the contracts it has with many thousands of telephone companies,
allowing Skype users to call their clients land lines and cell phones
for a penny a minute.  

What will happen with Skype now?
Microsoft will embed it in everything they got. 
They won't mess with it, but everything from Ho'mail to Lynq will
get a Skype button.

And what will Google do? Google has Google Chat, and will
probably dress it up a bit, since it can be expected, that a
lot of people will be looking for an alternative to Micro-Skype.

If you haven't got a gmail address yet, better get one soon.
Half decent names are getting mighty scarce!

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!




I have noticed that the people who are late are often so
much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.
---  E. V. Lucas

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring,
close-knit family in another city.
--- George Burns

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your
own children have teenagers of their own.
--- Doug Larson



Sign in a restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE
SHOULD SEE THE MANAGER.

Scribbled underneath:
He's even worse!



Have I got a deal for you!
Aquaponics is on special for $37 instead of the normal $97!

What's Aquaponics? Isn't that the top secret technology
some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the
time and two to ten times the crop per square foot?
Yes, it sure is!

It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces
all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that 
cleans that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish.
Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal!

You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book
tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes
and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs.

If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab
Aquaponics, while it is on sale!
AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books!

By the way, there is no weeding necessary with Aquaponics!




A lady was driving from her husband's office to the
kids' school, with twelve youngsters in the car, when
she blew past a red light, and a police car.
Much to the delight of the kids, the police officer pulled
her over, wrote her a ticket, lectured her on traffic
safety, and finished by saying,

"Lady, don't you know when to stop?"

Tomato red in the cheeks, the embarrassed woman said,
"Officer, only six of those kids are mine!"



Thanks to Eloise from http://eloises.ca
for this picture. Eloise specializes on gluten free baking and
provides gluten free mixes for breads, muffins, cakes and desserts.
Good stuff for everybody, and live saver for some.
.


Click through the picture to the large version.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Joseph Price, 61, in Okeechobee, Florida

Lack of bag foils bank robber
OKEECHOBEE, Fla., May 10 (UPI) -- Authorities in Florida said a 
would-be bank robber failed in his attempt because he did not 
bring his own money bag to the heist.

The Okeechobee County Sheriff's Office said Joseph Price, 61, 
handed a note to a teller at the PNC Bank in Okeechobee shortly 
after 2:30 p.m. Friday demanding a sack full of cash, TCPalm.com 
reported Tuesday.

However, Price left empty-handed after the teller told him she did 
not have a bag, investigators said.

The sheriff's office said Price left the scene on a bicycle and was 
apprehended within 7 minutes.

"This man was apprehended very quickly," Sheriff Paul May said. 
"A good description was given by bank personnel, [the lieutenant] 
was in the right place and the suspect is in jail, which is the right 
place for him."

Price was taken to the Okeechobee County Jail on a charge of 
attempted bank robbery. He was ordered held without bail.



From the Tech Support Pits:

From: Frank
Re: FireFox 4

Dear Webby,
I do like FireFox, but heard from a number of people, that
the step to FireFox 4 is rather traumatic. Is that true?
Frank

Dear Frank
It definitely IS a major step, like switching from a gasoline
vehicle to one with a Diesel engine, but I would not call it
traumatic. FireFox 4 brings over your open tabs, bookmarks,
and history. 

Where it gets rough is the security settings. By default they
are set rather tight and you have to loosen them a bit.

There are also a bunch of the add-ons and extensions, that
are not approved for version 4 yet, and won't be automatically
installed. For most of those add-ons, there ARE approved 
alternatives available, and it's not really a big deal to install them.

For example, "Instant Fox" is the new "Search from the address bar"
add-on. "Colorful Tabs" is another one of my "Must Have" add-ons.
They all install painlessly within seconds

Don't let them scare you about the change. FireFox version 4 is
considerably faster, and the minor changes of the menu are
easy to get used to. 

Have FUN
DearWebby



Internet TV
100% LEGAL and BEST Internet TV product on the market.
Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30
60 day money back guarantee!

User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of 
TV channels!  

Internet TV is also a
perfect Father's Day gift, that will actually get used!




A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.

"Here is the situation," she said.  "A man is standing up in a
boat in the middle of a river, fishing.  He loses his balance,
falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs
down to the bank.  Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

A girl raised her hand and asked,

"To draw out his savings before all the relatives showed up?"

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Mark Emptied Cabinets When Moving
We are in the process of moving and I came up with this nifty idea. 
I put a strip of masking tape across each cabinet door and 
drawer in the kitchen (and bathrooms) as I empty and clean 
it to save time later. That way nothing can be put back in 
there and I won't have to double check it on last day of 
moving. I'm also doing this on doors to closets.

By darlenedawn from Brownsburg, IN
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



A man phones a mental hospital and asks
the receptionist if there is anybody in Room 27.

She goes and checks, and comes back to
the phone, telling him No, the room is empty.

"Good," says the man. "That means I must
have really escaped."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Two old Jewish men are strolling down the street one day when
they happen to walk by a Catholic church. They see a big sign
posted that says,

"Convert to Catholicism and get $100."

One of the Jewish men stops walking and stares at the sign.
His friend turns to him and says, "Murray, what's going on?"

"Abe," replies Murray, "I'm thinking of doing it."

Abe says, "What are you, crazy?"

Murray thinks for a minute and says, "Abe, I'm going to do it."

With that, Murray strides purposefully into the church and
comes out twenty minutes later with a big grin on his face.

"So," asks Abe, "did you get your hundred dollars?"

Murray looks up at him and says,
"Is money all that you jews ever think of? I bet you want to
borrow it now!"






 »   Hollow Log Critters 

[ view entry ] ( 178 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 234 )

---

Bin Laden Trojan 

Tuesday, May 10, 2011, 09:30 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, May 10

Sorry about using two Ts in Scotland!
Two alert Scots noticed.

As expected, a whole bunch of English people got right 
hysterical and insisted on pointing out that just winning the
election does not mean separation and independence.

Don't worry. That is what I had written. The Scots won't 
deprive themselves of their favorite sport, telling jokes about
the English and annoying them just a wee tad more than
wot the Irish do. However, for a mere 110% of the money
from the North Sea oil and gas, they will back off and 
postpone the separation referendum.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!




The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave man...only five hundred.
--- Meredith Willson



As a new bride, Edna moved into the small home on her
husband's ranch. She put a shoe box on a shelf in her
closet and asked her husband never to touch it.

For fifty years Jack left the box alone, until Edna was old
and dying. One day when he was putting their affairs in
order, he found the box again and thought it might hold
something important.

Opening it, he found two doilies and $82,500 in cash. He
took the box to Edna and asked about the contents.

"My mother gave me that box the day we married," she
explained. "She told me to make a doily to help
ease my frustrations every time I got mad at you."

Jack was very touched that in 50 years she'd only been
mad at him twice.

"What's the $82,500 for?" he asked.

"Oh, that's the money I made selling the doilies."



Have I got a deal for you!
Aquaponics is on special for $37 instead of the normal $97!

What's Aquaponics? Isn't that the top secret technology
some pros use to grow medicinal herbs and stuff in half the
time and two to ten times the crop per square foot?
Yes, it sure is!

It is the technology of combining a fish tank, that produces
all the nutrients the plants need, with hydroponics, that 
cleans that stuff out of the water and preps it for the fish.
Very neat and clean WIN-WIN deal!

You don't need a shark tank on your balcony. The book
tells you how small a fish tank is enough for your tomatoes
and carrots and parsley and mushrooms and herbs.

If you have a closet, balcony, or garden space, grab
Aquaponics, while it is on sale!
AND, they throw in $300 worth of additional books!

By the way, there is no weeding necessary with Aquaponics!




Old Andrzej was a minister in a small Polish town. He
had always been a good man and lived by the Bible.
One day God decided to reward him, with the answer
to any three questions Andrzej would like to ask.

Old Andrzej did not need much time to consider, and
the first question was:
"Will there ever be married Catholic priests?"

God promptly replied: "Not in your life-time."

Andrzej thought for a while, and then came up with
the second question: "what about female priests then,
will we have that one day?"

Again God had to disappoint Old Andrzej:
"Not in your life-time, I'm afraid."

Andrzej was sorry to hear that, and he decided to
drop the subject. After having though for a while, he
asked the last question:
"Will there ever be another Polish pope?"

God answered quickly and with a firm voice,
"Not in My life time."





Click through the picture to the large version.

I wish!

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Carth Henry Hunt Jr., 56 in Spotsylvania, VA

Alibi is unbearable
A man's attempt to blame his fresh wounds on a bear didn't 
save him from a burglary charge Thursday night.

Spotsylvania sheriff's Lt. Col. Michael Timm said Deputy 
Patricia Purcell went to The Little Academy in the 4700 block 
of Plank Road shortly before 10 p.m. in response to an alarm 
activation.

She immediately noticed a broken door and saw a man walking 
toward her from the rear of the business and eating a banana.

Purcell asked the man if he knew what had happened, and he 
motioned toward the front of the building, where a glass door 
had been smashed.

Asked about a bleeding cut on his forehead, Timm said the 
man explained that he lives in the woods near State Routes 3 
and 20 and was chased by a bear two days ago.

Suspicious of the man's bear story and his level of intoxication, 
Purcell detained him for further questioning.

Detectives found glass shards in the mud on the bottom of the 
man's boots, and a police dog tracked a scent from inside the 
business to where Purcell had seen the man walking, Timm said.

Along the track police found a banana peel and rocks that 
matched rocks found near the broken glass.

The business owners arrived and told police two laptop 
computers were missing. The man later said that they might 
want to look on the roof because "if I took them, that's where 
I would hide them."

The computers weren't found, but 56-year-old Carth Henry Hunt Jr. 
was charged with burglary, grand larceny, vandalism and 
public intoxication.

He was placed in the Rappahannock Regional Jail under 
no bond.

While searching for a mug shot, I notied quite a lenthy rap
sheet. Carth Henry Hunt Jr. has done time for burglary a
few times before.



From the Tech Support Pits:

From: Ellen
Re: Osama Bin Laden trojan via facebook

Dear Webby,
I heard that a really wicked trojan is getting spread via
Facebook, but my son told me that is just moron-tax, and
somebody would have to be extremely dumb to fall for that.

What is the real story?
Ellen

Dear Ellen 
I would agree with your son. Especially if you don't have
good protection on your computer, don't click on anything
suspicious. Links to items about popular topics involving 
Obama, Osama, and other disreputable characters are best
left untouched, especially when they are from somebody 
you don't know.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Internet TV
100% LEGAL and BEST Internet TV product on the market.
Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30
60 day money back guarantee!

User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of 
TV channels!  

Internet TV is also a
perfect Father's Day gift, that will actually get used!




The other day I observed a rather funny scene at the
golf course across the river.

A golfer became so mad that he threw his brand new
looking set of golf clubs into the river.

A few minutes later he came back, waded into the
river, and retrieved his clubs. He proceeded to take
his car keys out of the bag -- then threw the clubs
back into the water.

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
No Mess Frozen Rolls
Find a good dinner roll recipe that states it will freeze well. 
Cut the rolls and place one dinner's amount inside a wax 
paper pocket and insert into a freezer zipper bag.

Tomorrow, this weekend, next week, you just pull out one of 
the bundles to thaw. You don't have a big frozen blob of 
dough to fight with and you don't handle all the rolls by 
trying to pull apart just enough for tonight.

By Kelli from Sentani, Indonesia
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every
hotel room was taken.
"You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded
with a proprietor, "or just a bed, I don't care where."
"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant --
an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he
might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth,
he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms
have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth
it to you."

"No problem," the tired Navy man assured him,
"I'll take it."

The next morning the sailor came down to breakfast
bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?"
asked the manager.
"Never better." 

The manager was impressed.
"No problem with the other guy snoring?"

"Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Navy guy.

"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came
in the room," the sailor explained. "I went over, gave
him a kiss on the cheek, and said,
'Goodnight, beautiful,'

He sat up all night watching me."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


The young teacher of the earth science class was
lecturing on map reading. After explaining about
latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher
asked Morris, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for
lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45
degrees, 15 minutes west longitude...?"
After a confused silence, Johnnie offered this as his
answer,
...."I guess you'd be eating alone....
None of US can swim THAT far out into the ocean!"






 »   China, not just Pandas 

[ view entry ] ( 207 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 322 )

---

Lies? 

Monday, May 9, 2011, 01:14 PM -
Posted by Administrator

[ view entry ] ( 302 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 186 )

---

Scottland's Independence party won, is separation imminent? 

Monday, May 9, 2011, 10:21 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, May 9

Did anybody notice, that the SNP, the Independence Party in 
Scottland, won by a land slide?
Huh ?
Scottland ?
Yes, Scottland. 
While everybody was busy with the royal wedding, and White House 
forgeries and Bin Laden, Scottland had an election.

I wouldn't panic yet about Scottland separating and rebuilding 
Hadrian's Wall. Mainly they just want to keep 100 % of
the money from the North Sea Oil, be in charge of their
taxes, especially corporate taxes, and fisheries rules and
regulation, of course. 

The plan is to stay in the monarchy and keep the queen,
and let England take care of defense, plus medical and welfare, 
of course. Eventually they want to be an equal partner to 
Britain in the EU, but until they can recruit or train enough
multilingual people for ambassador jobs, they plan to let
England take care of foreign politics.

The whole thing sounds like a spoof, but they are dead serious!
And they won the election! 

Actually, the SNP won mainly because people were fed up with 
the left wing parties, so they stomped over to the redneck 
right-wing SNP. 

According to the polls, only aboot 25% of the Scotts would
actually get serious aboot considering a separation. 

However, 100% of them definitely want to rattle the Limey's
chains and use the threat of separation as a bargaining tool
for trying to get the North Sea oil and gas money. 
That is BIG money, and the Scotts are dead serious aboot it.

You won't read about it in the Enemy Times or other left wing
media for a while yet, but you can read up on it here at the
Guardian.co.uk:
http://snipurl.com/scottishindependence

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!




Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't
the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
--- Robert Benchley

I hope that while so many people are out
smelling the flowers,
someone is taking the time to plant some.
--- Herbert Rappaport



Rev Ted's rousing sermons became a lot more peaceful

after his wife switched his Viagra with Nyquil and Prozak



Learn Digital Photography Now
Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking 
Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, 
Even If You Are A Complete Newbie!
This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!




As a professional clown, John entertains groups at parties
and company picnics.

Once, an inebriated guest began heckling him in the middle
of a performance, disrupting his act. Trying to ignore him
wasn't working, so he used a different tactic.

Slipping his arm around his shoulder, John looked him in
the eye and said, "Mister, I get paid to dress up and make
a fool of myself - what's your excuse?"





Click through the picture to the large version.

From dad, this morning's breakfast.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Jennifer Poors, 25, in Bangor, Maine

Bangor woman busted for stealing scented toilet paper holders
BANGOR, Maine — A Bangor woman was arrested about noon Tuesday 
on charges of violating the conditions of her release from a prior arrest, 
unlawful possession of scheduled drugs and theft after she allegedly 
attempted to steal two scented toilet paper holders from a Family Dollar 
store.

After her arrest, Jennifer Poors, 25, was taken to Penobscot County Jail,
 where she remained Tuesday night, Bangor police Sgt. Larry Weber 
 said, citing an arrest report.

According to the report, Poors attempted to shoplift the items by removing 
them from their packaging and concealing them in a sweatshirt pocket. 
The report indicated that the roll holders were valued at about $1, 
Weber said.

Poors, the report said, was out on bail from an arrest in Hancock County, 
where she was charged in connection with the theft of drugs from her 
mother, Weber said.

He said that at the time of her arrest Tuesday, she was in possession 
of six 20 milligram dicyclomine pills.

Dicyclomine is used to treat the symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome 
by relieving muscle spasms in the gastrointestinal tract. It is not a narcotic,

Stealing a pair of toilet paper holdrs, worth under a dollar, while on
condiional release and carrying drugs, is definitely a boneheaded idea.




From the Tech Support Pits:

From: Dianne
Re: Osama Bin Laden viruses

Dear Webby,
what's the story about these Bin Laden viruses, that the
FBI aparently warned about?
Dianne

Dear Dianne
Nothing new, really. Scams and spams, claiming to have pictures
of a dead Bin Laden, have been floating around the net for
years. All the better Anti-Virus programs instantly
recognize them and block or dump them.

The only recent change is the gullibility index of the users,
and the scammers focusing on popular topics. 

Naturally, common sense also helps. Always have the status bar
reveal the underlying links of anything that you might click on.
If a thumbnail links to a program instead of a picture or movie,
get outa there!

Have FUN
DearWebby



Internet TV
100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market.
Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30
60 day money back guarantee!

User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of 
TV channels!  

Internet TV is also a
perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their
TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 
for 3500 channels, 
BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! 

BELL is really making Internet TV look good!


Ideal last minute OR LATE
Mother's Day Gift!




A housewife with four young daughters was getting dinner
ready when the phone rang. The six-year-old picked it up
and said, "Hi, Daddy!" and began telling him about her day.

She then passed the phone to her next older sister as was
the custom whenever Daddy called from work.

When it was finally the wife's turn to talk she took the
receiver and said, "Hi, hon."

"Thank goodness, lady," the voice on the other end replied.
"I just called to tell you that the wallpaper you ordered is
here, but those girls think the phone goes one way only!"

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Warming Lamp for Cats
Here in the Pacific Northwest, we have a lot of days with no 
sunshine. My cat loves to find a sunny spot and sleep. 
He looked so bored the other day that I put a kitty bed on 
my desk and swung the free arm desk lamp, which has a 
75 watt bulb in it over the kitty bed. I set the lamp about 
two to three feet above the bed.

Now every morning that the sun isn't out, he heads to the 
desk for his nap. The bulb produces enough warmth that 
he thinks he is sleeping in the sun, and he is much happier.

By lizzyanny from Pacific Northwest
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


The elementary school teacher was trying impress upon the
seventh-grade history class how Native Americans must have
felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers.

"How would you feel," said she, "if someone showed up on
your doorstep, who looked very different, spoke a strange
language and wore weird and unusual clothes? Wouldn't you
be a bit scared?"

"Nah," one boy answered,
"I'd figure it was my sister's date."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a
policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how
he liked his new role.

"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't
bad, but what I like best is that now the customer is
always wrong."






 »   Costly Homes in US 

[ view entry ] ( 201 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 340 )

---

IE9 versus FireFox 

Sunday, May 8, 2011, 09:57 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, May 8

Happy Mother's Day !



Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!




Technology is dominated by two types of people: 
those who understand what they do not manage, 
and those who manage what they do not understand.
--- Putt's Law

Efficiency is getting the job done right.
Effectiveness is getting the right job done.
--- Socratex

"Talent is a gift, but character is a choice."
--- John C. Maxwell



Thanks to Judy for this one:
Had to send you this true story:
My niece has 4 kids and was breast feeding the baby when
#3 child, Jack wanted to climb up into her lap. During the
process he was using his elbows to push his way up and hit
her other breast so she said: 'watch the elbows Jack'.

When Grandmother came over later, Jack climbed up into
her lap, patted her rather ample bosom and said
'I like your elbows, Grandma'.

Needless to say, they will always be elbows to us from now on!
Thanks for all the fun you send,
Judy



Learn Digital Photography Now
Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking 
Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, 
Even If You Are A Complete Newbie!
This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!



Two paramedics were dispatched to check on an elderly
man who had become disoriented. They decided to take
him to the hospital for evaluation.

En route, with siren going, they questioned the man to
determine his level of awareness.

Leaning close, one asked, "Sir, do you know what we're
doing right now?"

The old man slowly looked out the ambulance window.
"Oh," he replied, "I'd say about 50, 55 at the most."





Click through the picture to the large version.

Happy Mother's Day !


If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Daniel Augustus Jones Jr., 22 from Gainesville, Florida

Forgetful pot dealer leaps through cop-car window

A Gainesville man was arrested on charges of drug possession 
and resisting arrest after police say they found a bag of 
marijuana on him and that while taking him to jail he leapt 
from an open window of the patrol car.

Gainesville Police Department officers said they found Daniel 
Augustus Jones Jr., 22, of 1239 SE 19th Terrace, standing in 
the middle of the intersection of Southeast 19th Street and 12th 
Avenue at about 4:30 p.m. on Wednesday, apparently wodering
whether he was coming or going.

The officers said Jones was visibly shaking and smelled of 
marijuana and that he refused their commands to stop when he 
began walking away from them.

Officer Tony Ferro said Jones spontaneously told him, 
“I don't have any drugs on me,” and started to empty his 
backpack onto the street.

Among the contents, officers said they spotted a plastic bag 
filled with about a quarter-pound of marijuana.

As Ferro and Officer Anton Lipski tried to arrest Jones, 
they said he began fighting with them and was pepper 
sprayed before being put in the back of Ferro's patrol car.

Jones asked to have the window rolled down so that he 
could get air.

“I feared (Jones) would kick my patrol car window out, 
and I rolled the window down,” Ferro wrote in the arrest report.

While the car was in motion and Jones was still handcuffed, 
he “dove out of the rear side window,” Jones wrote.

Ferro said Jones had to be shot with a Taser stun gun 
because he continued to fight with officers after being 
tackled while handcuffed.

Jones was taken to Shands at the University of Florida in 
handcuffs and shackles to be treated for cuts and bruises 
before being booked into the jail.

Officers Ferro and Lipski also received minor cuts and 
scrapes.

In addition to the marijuana, officers reported finding 
$172 and a digital scale in Jones' possession.

While being questioned after his arrest, Jones told Ferro 
he “forgot he had the bag of weed.”

Jones was charged with possession with intent to sell 
marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia and resisting 
arrest with and without violence.

Jones has served two state prison terms and was most 
recently released on Dec. 13, 2010. His sentences had been 
for convictions of burglary, trafficking in stolen property 
and dealing dugs within 1,000 feet of a school or day care.



From the Tech Support Pits:

From Lori
Re: Firefox vs IE9 

Dear Webby,
I currently have both Firefox 4 and ie 9 on my computer.  I only use
firefox 4, but several well-meaning idiots, I mean friends, insist I
should be using ie 9.  They claim it is better, faster, and more safe
than firefox.  When I have compared them on my computer using my
internet connection (a faster type of dial-up, 54 mbps as of right
now) firefox works faster and cleaner.  What is your opinion?  I am
going to keep using firefox, but an unbiased opinion would be helpful.

Lori

PS  I love your site and am glad you are feeling better.  For walking,
I wear a pair of knock-off tone up shoes.  They have really helped my
ankles.  Just start slow when you start wearing them and work up to
wearing them more.

Dear Lori
Your friends sound like a bunch of Yugo drivers, 
trying to pull you down to their level and limit you to their speed.
Don't worry about it. Some of them may grow up yet.

Since I don't need IE for anything, I still have IE6 on my 
machine. That one is reasonably stable, if ever the occasion
arises to use IE. Normally, if a site demands that I use any
certain browser, I go to a better site, that is up to standard.


What are "knock-off tone up shoes"?
Have you got a picture?

Have FUN
DearWebby



Internet TV
100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market.
Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30
60 day money back guarantee!

User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of 
TV channels!  

Internet TV is also a
perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their
TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 
for 3500 channels, 
BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! 

BELL is really making Internet TV look good!


Ideal last minute
Mother's Day Gift!




The husband didn't want to play in the "Couples Alternate Shot
Tournament" at the club, but he reluctantly agreed just for the
sake of martial harmony.

He got the first shot.  He teed off, a par four, and fired a drive
300 yard down the middle of the fairway.

When they reached the ball, he said to his wife (a novice golfer),
"Just hit it towards the green, hon, anywhere around there will
be fine."

She proceeded to knock the ball deep into the woods off to
th left side.

Undaunted, he said, "That's ok, dear, we'll play it."  He spent
five full minutes looking for the ball.  He played it for the shot
of his life and actually put the ball just two feet from the hole
on the green.

Arriving on the green he said, "Now, dear, all you have to do is
knock it gently into the hole."  She whacked it a good one, right
off the green and into a sand trap.

The husband, still retaining his composure, marched into the
sand trap, summoned all of his skill, and amazingly holed the
shot from there.

Retrieving the ball from the hole he put his arm around his wife
and calmly said, "Honey, that was a bogey -- one over par --
but that's ok.  I think we can do better on the next hole."

She snapped back at him, "Don't bitch at ME.
Only *2* of those *FIVE* shots were mine!"

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Reuse Disposable Vacuum Bags
I have an expensive vacuum cleaner that takes expensive bags. 
To save on buying new bags for my vacuum, I simply cut the 
bottom off the bag, empty it, and duct tape the bottom shut. 
Voila! I have a recycled vacuum cleaner bag.

By Dee from Salem, VA
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



A nearsighted minister glanced at the note that Mrs. Jones
had sent to him by an usher.

The note read: "Bill Jones, having gone to sea, his wife
requests the prayers of the congregation for his safety."

Failing to observe the punctuation, he startled his
audience by announcing:

"Bill Jones, having gone to see his wife,
desires the prayers of the congregation for his safety."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Jean is a very nervous flyer. During a trip with United lately it
didn't help that her connecting flight from Denver was
delayed twice because of mechanical problems.

Then, after they were aloft, Jean noticed the lights began
flickering.

She mentioned this to a flight attendant.
"I'll take care of it," the elderly stewardess said. Moments
later the lights went out. Clearly she'd solved the problem
by turning off the lights.

A passenger across the aisle who had been listening
leaned over and said,
"Whatever you do, please don't sayanything about the engines."






 »   Lily Factor 

[ view entry ] ( 145 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 349 )

---

Camera Chip compatibility 

Saturday, May 7, 2011, 07:52 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, May 7

Costco seems to be changing from a wholesale supplier to
businesses to family entertainment. I went there this evening 
to get a month's worth of prescription medicines, and was
really surprised at the amount of families shopping. I am 
talking about full families, from gramma to baby in a stroller!

The wide isles and huge shopping carts, originally intended
for harried restaurant owners stocking up for a week or
month, are just perfect for families casually strolling along 
from sample station to sample station, enjoying the treats,
and piling supplies onto the cart.

I also saw quite a few families that had a laptop or netbook 
along, and it was not mom or dad using it, but one of the kids,
calling out the next item needed, and also entering what
went onto the cart and announcing the total cost after each 
item was added. 

Thanks to the cathedral height noise swallowing ceiling, all of
that activity did not cause a mall style racket. The absence
of teen hordes naturally helped, but also the fact that 
people talked in hushed voices, as if they were in a church.

I only had very few items, and had to laugh at the notion of
looking for an Express lane. That is definitely NOT in their 
concept. One simply looks for the shortest line and joins it.

They have two or three people working each register, and
it actually goes quite fast. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!




Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing
in government and business.
--- Tom Robbins

Good advice is something a man gives when he is
too old to set a bad example.
--- Francois de La Rochefoucauld



Mike was explaining to Judy about when he'd been a kid he
fell through the ice on the pond.  He went all the way under.
Several panicked minuted passed when Mike couldn't find
the hole get out and he was running out of air quickly.

Judi put her hand to her mouth and said,
"Oh my God, did you get out??"



Learn Digital Photography Now
Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking 
Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, 
Even If You Are A Complete Newbie!
This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!



A young doctor had just opened office and felt really excited.
His secretary told him a man was here to see him. The young
doctor told her to send him in.

Pretending to be a busy doctor, he picked up the phone just as
the man came in. "Yes, that's right. The fee is $200. Yes, I'll
expect you ten past two. Alright. No later. I'm a very busy man."

He hung up and turned to the man waiting. "May I help you?"

"No," said the man, "I just came in to connect the phone."



Thanks to Sandie for this picture:


Click through the picture to the large version.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to three burglars in Clay, NY

Cellphone 'pocket dials' 911
CLAY, N.Y. (AP) - An ill-timed, inadvertent 911 call led police to 
three larceny suspects overheard planning break-ins in 
upstate New York.

Onondaga County Sheriff Kevin Walsh says police already 
looking for a suspicious person got the unlikely assist when 
one of the men "pocket dialed" his cellphone's emergency 
number while driving near the scene of an earlier heist.

As a dispatcher relayed the conversation to deputies, the 
men discussed their plans, described their surroundings 
and even commented, "there go the cops now."

Walsh says that was enough for a deputy to turn around 
and stop the Kia Sportage full of tools stolen from a business 
in the Syracuse suburb of Clay. The dispatcher then heard 
the driver being asked for his license and registration.

The men arrested April 26 face grand larceny and stolen 
property charges.



From the Tech Support Pits:

From Charles
Re: Camera Chips for W7

Dear Webby,
Windows 7 can handle camera chips larger than 2 GB with
no problem. You will be surprised at what you can do, once
you join the slow crowd!
Charles

Dear Charles
XP can handle 4 and 8 GB chips too, but a lot of older chip
readers and cameras have problems with those. So that you
don't have to worry about compatibility when you travel or
visit anybody, I usually recommend 2 GB chips.

If you NEED bigger chips for recording movies, just make sure
your chip reader can handle the chips that are bigger than
2 GB. Sometimes you just need a new driver, but you may 
have to get a new chip reader.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Internet TV
100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market.
Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30
60 day money back guarantee!

User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of 
TV channels!  

Internet TV is also a
perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their
TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 
for 3500 channels, 
BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! 

BELL is really making Internet TV look good!




An elderly man goes into confession and says to the priest,
"Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11
grandchildren.
Last night I had an affair and made love to an 18-year-old girl.

The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you
were in confession?"

"Never Father, I'm Jewish."

"Then why are you telling me?"

"I'm telling everybody...."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Meat Thermometer For Paper Spike
Recently, I inherited the task of organizing and cleaning the 
home of a lady who never threw anything out. I found a broken 
meat thermometer in the drawer and was going to toss it.

Then, I thought, "Hmmm what could I do with that?" It hit me that 
it looked like an simple version of a paper spike from office 
desks of long ago.

So, that is what it is now. My sample is just a post it, but you 
get the idea. I hope this helps to keep your paperwork straight 
and the landfill one less meat thermometer full.

By Poor But Proud from Coos Bay, OR
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



Old Ms Molly tripped on the stairs and broke her leg.

The doctor put a cast on it and warned that she wasn't to
use the stairs until the cast came off.

Four months later he removed the cast and pronounced her
well on the way to recovery.

"Oh good," she responded.  "Is it all right for me to walk the
stairs now?"

"Yes," said the doctor, "if you will promise to be careful."

"I can't tell you what a relief it will be," she sighed.
"It was such a nuisance crawling outside and shinnying
up and down that drainpipe in the rain and snow all the time!"



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Leroy was telling his friend Bubba about the date he
had the night before, "It was a bummer. She used four
letter words all evening. First and definitely last time I 
take HER out!"

Bubba exclaimed, "Really? I can't believe you didn't
enjoy that."

"Guess again," said Leroy, "All night she kept saying
'Quit', 'Stop', and 'Don't!....'"






 »   Rolling 

[ view entry ] ( 172 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 987 )

---

What size camera memory chip is ideal? 

Friday, May 6, 2011, 09:31 AM

   
Good Morning,  !

It's Friday, May 6
Time to  wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

Not smoking any more is slowly getting a bit easier. 
I am actually at the point, where it annoys me, when somebody 
borrows my car and leaves butts in the ash tray.
Three months ago I would not even have noticed that.

Today's walk was a bit rushed. I tried to get to the store 
and post office before they closed, but people with urgent 
concerns kept me on Skype. Somehow people seem to sense
that. Just like in the old days, when I could afford to go
on a holiday, the last few days before the trip people,
whom I had not heard from for a year, would pop out of the 
woodwork with all kinds of super-urgent projects, that could
not wait even a day.

Those are always good people, and they are not trying to be
obnoxious. It is more like some Intergalactic Stress Fairy
wakes them up and dispatches them to wherever they can
cause the most stress. 

Have you ever noticed that? Or am I the only one used as
a stress target by the Stress Fairy?

Well, I didn't get uptight, but I DID walk considerably faster
than I normally do. Part way to the post office I realized 
that my old hiking boots would be a lot better suited for 
careful and deliberate walking on rough terrain and for
toe-tip climbing, than for trotting down a paved sidewalk.
The boots were definitely slapping the pavement instead 
of quietly rolling. 

Are there any footwear experts out there?

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



Searching for lost relatives? . . .
Announce you have won the Lottery! They'll show up.
--- Socratex

There's nothing wrong with the younger generation
that the older generation didn't outgrow.
--- Socratex

We need to learn to set our course by the stars, 
not by the lights of every passing ship. 
--- Omar Bradley


Thanks to Ross for this:

A new way to avoid any .08 alcohol issues while driving:  
I went out with some friends last night and tied one on. 
Knowing that I was wasted, I did something that I have 
never done before.  
I took a bus home.  
I arrived home safe and warm, which seemed really surprising 
as I have never driven a bus before. 



Learn Digital Photography Now
Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking 
Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, 
Even If You Are A Complete Newbie!
This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!



City Boy: Say, Dad, how many types of milk are there?
Father: Well, there's evaporated milk, buttermilk, malted milk,
and .....
--but why do you ask?
City Boy: Oh, I'm drawing a picture of a cow,
and I want to know how many "spigots" to put on it



Thanks to dad for this picture:


Click through the picture to the large version.
Echinopsus Aurora (provisional)

This is an experimental hybrid. The original plant blooms 
white. The plant you see here is a daughter of the first
hybrid (cross) and so far it retains the morning-glow
color, that it's mother showed. If it remains true for
five generations, then it will be considered a true Hybrid
and the provisional name will become it's proper name.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to David Williams, 23, in Surprise, Arizona

Man’s question to officer leads to arrest
A man on a scooter asked an officer a question that led to 
his arrest, Surprise police said.

Surprise man David Williams, 23, rode up to an officer around 
7 a.m. last week in front if a convenience store in the area of 
Ocotillo and Greasewood streets, police spokesman Mark Ortega 
said. Williams reportedly asked if the officer had ever arrested 
him before.

The officer told Williams that he did not think he had arrested 
him but ran his name through communications to check, 
Ortega said.

The officer was notified that Williams had a valid warrant for 
his arrest out of Pine Top on suspicion of assault with a weapon, 
Ortega said.

Williams was then arrested.



From the Tech Support Pits:

From Aaron
Re: What size camera memory chip

Dear Webby,
256 MB flash memory chips I have for my camera are not
big enough for even half a day at any nice scenic spot.
Would you recommend buying 2 GB memory
chips, or 4GB or even bigger chips?
Aaron


Dear Aaron
Stick to 2 GB chips.
Some cameras and some chip readers and some laptops
don't like anything over 2 GB. 

2 GB chips are cheap, and may save you a lot of frustration
at some scenic spot, far away from a store.
Always check your camera chips well before any trip,
preferably the day you buy them, just in case you have to
return them.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Internet TV
100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market.
Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30
60 day money back guarantee!

User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of 
TV channels!  

Internet TV is also a
perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their
TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 
for 3500 channels, 
BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! 

BELL is really making Internet TV look good!




At a fancy reception a young man was asked by a
widow to guess her age.
"You must have some idea," she urged when he hesitated.
"I have several ideas," he admitted with a smile,
"the trouble is that I don't know whether to make it ten
years younger because of your looks or ten years
older because of your wisdom."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Braid Bulb Leaves After Flowering
It may not be pretty, but it is neater while nature stores 
energy in the bulbs for next year's flowers. Loosely braid 
the leaves of drying bulbs for easy removal after they 
are dried. Bulbs need to store energy through the 
leaves. Remove the leaves only after they are dried 
and easy to pull off. When they are completely dried, 
just pick up the braids. The clean up is much easier.

By Great Granny Vi
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



Old Ms Molly tripped on the stairs and broke her leg.

The doctor put a cast on it and warned that she wasn't to
use the stairs until the cast came off.

Four months later he removed the cast and pronounced her
well on the way to recovery.

"Oh good," she responded.  "Is it all right for me to walk the
stairs now?"

"Yes," said the doctor, "if you will promise to be careful."

"I can't tell you what a relief it will be," she sighed.
"It was such a nuisance crawling outside and shinnying
up and down that drainpipe in the rain and snow all the time!"



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


On the outskirts of town, there was huge nut tree by the
cemetery fence. One day two boys filled up a bucketful
of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began
dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said
one boy. The bucket was so full, several rolled out toward
the fence.

Cycling down the road by the cemetery was a third boy. As
he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the
cemetery. He slowed down to investigate. Sure enough, he
heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me."

He knew what it was. "Oh my," he shuddered, "It's Satan and
St. Peter dividing the souls at the cemetery."

He cycled down the road fast as he could and found an old
man with a cane, hobbling along. "Come here quick," said
the boy, "You won't believe what I heard. Satan and St. Peter
are down at the cemetery dividing the souls."

The man said, "Shooo, you brat, can't you see I'm finding it
hard to walk as it is."

But after several pleas, the man hobbled to the cemetery.
Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for
me. One for you, one for me..."

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been telling the truth.
Let's see if we can see the devil himself."

Shivering with fear, they peered through the fence, yet they
were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy
gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter
as they tried to get a glimpse of Satan.

At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. And one last
one for you. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence,
and we'll be done."

They say the old guy made it back to town five minutes before
the boy with the bicycle.






 »   Crying Shame 

[ view entry ] ( 221 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 328 )

---

When it is not safe to send mail 

Thursday, May 5, 2011, 09:41 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, May 5, 2011

Some of you received yesterday's Humor Letter in raw HTML.
Sorry about that! Well, you finally saw what all goes into the cake,
that you get, nicely kneaded and baked. 
Last night on the first send, I forgot to bake it.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!




" It is easier to forgive an enemy
than to forgive a friend. "
--- William Blake

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to
have his head examined.
--- Samuel Goldwyn

Don't worry about avoiding temptation.
As you grow older, it will avoid you.
--- Socratex



Cindy runs her own daycare business. She has two of her own 
kids and has about 15 kids in her daycare. One day the Cindy 
takes the children to the park to play, when a woman walks up 
and notices Cindy and her daycare kids.

She asks her, "Are all these kids yours?"

Cindy replies, "No, I have two of my own."

The woman proceeds to ask which two are hers.

Cindy laughs and says. "My kids go to the YMCA daycare center."

The other woman asks in a puzzled voice, "Why are they there when 
you run your own daycare?"

Cindy looks at her and says, "Because I can't afford what I charge."



Learn Digital Photography Now
Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking 
Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, 
Even If You Are A Complete Newbie!
This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!




Two women came before wise King Solomon,
dragging between them a young man.
"This young man agreed to marry my daughter,"
said one.
"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.
And so they haggled before the King, until he called
for silence. "Bring me my biggest sword," said
Solomon, "and I shall hew the young man in half.
Each of you shall receive a half."
"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.
But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill
innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter
marry him."
The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The young
man must marry the first woman's daughter,"
he proclaimed.
"But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed
the king's court.
"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she
is the TRUE mother-in-law."





Click through the picture to the large version.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Ann Marie Hernandez, 46, of Pompano Beach, Florida


Credit card cheater hides card in vagina

Authorities in Florida said they arrested a woman who was 
concealing a fraudulent credit card and a counterfeit driver's 
license in her vagina. 

The Lee County Sheriff's Office said Ann Marie Hernandez, 46, 
of Pompano Beach, was pulled over at about 7 p.m. Friday on 
Interstate 75 and deputies discovered more than $5,000 worth 
of items purchased with a fraudulent credit card in her car, 
and Hernandez was found to be concealing the fraudulent 
credit card along with a counterfeit driver's license in her vagina. 

When a female cop was called to the scene, Ann decided she 
was screwed, so she reached up and fished the cards out herself.

 She had used the cards to buy more than $5,000 worth of stuff.  
 About half of it was in her car when she was pulled over.
 



From the Tech Support Pits:

From Miona 
Re: Not safe to mail out

Dear Webby,
I hope you don't mind too much if I write you even
though I know my computer is infected. I know you
are properly protected.

My computer came with what I thought was good
anti virus utilities, but even though it is only a few
months old and has updated the virus stuff regularly,
it got infected anyway.

I need to write to my dad to come and clean it up
for me and install better virus protection, but I don't
dare writing him from an infected computer. I can't
call him at work, and at home he's always on-line
and I can't call him there either.

What else can I do ?
Mina

Dear Mina
You can send him an Internet postcard.
There are tons fo sites from which you can send postcards,
even from my dad's site at http://dawna.com

A few others, that you could check aout are:
Actioncat
Angeleyes
Angelwinks
and so on. That is just in the "a"s in the alphabet.

Postcards sent with the Mypostcards system are 100% safe.
Nothing from your compuer is sent, you simply visit a site,
compose a card with the pictures and music available there,
and send it off. And it is free.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Internet TV
100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market.
Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30
60 day money back guarantee!

User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of 
TV channels!  

Internet TV is also a
perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their
TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 
for 3500 channels, 
BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! 

BELL is really making Internet TV look good!




The new teacher advised the class to start the day with
the pledge of allegiance, and instructed them to put their
right hands over their hearts and repeat after him.
He looked around the room as he started the recitation,

"I pledge allegiance to the flag..."  When his eyes fell on
Johnny, he noticed Johnny's hand over the right cheek
of his buttocks.
"Johnny, I will not continue 'til you put your hand over
your heart."

Johnny replied, "It IS over my heart." After several
attempts to get Johnny to put his hand over his heart,
the teacher asked, "Why do you think that is your heart?"

"Because every time my Grandma comes to visit, she
picks me up, pats me here, and says, 'Bless your little
heart,' and MY Grandma wouldn't lie."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Uses For Single Socks
Having 5 young children it seems I am eternally ending up 
with "onesie" socks. I have been putting them to good use 
for my little ones by using them as a holder for ice pops 
and frozen yogurt in plastic sleeves. It protects their little 
hands from getting cold and sticky, as well as using up 
an item of clothing that I have no other use for!

By Robin from Belmont, MI
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



Paul and his wife Lorna had moved to Arizona and were
experienceing their first real heat wave.

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," complained Paul
as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you
think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"They'd probably think that I married you for your money."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A customer wanted to ask his attractive waitress for a date,
but couldn't get her attention. Whenever he was able to 
catch her eye, she quickly looked away. Finally he 
followed her into the kitchen and blurted out his invitation.

To his amazement she readily consented.
He said, "Why have you been avoiding me all this time?
You wouldn't even make eye contact."

"Oh," replied the waitress," I thought you wanted more
coffee, and I didn't feel like making another pot this close
to the end of my shift."






 »   Flying Clippers 

[ view entry ] ( 171 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 318 )

---

Leftist Math 

Wednesday, May 4, 2011, 09:33 PM -
Posted by Administrator

If a majority is illegitimate at less than 50% of the popular vote...
Then nothing done under Lester Pearson is legitimate. This includes:

1. The CPP
2. Universal Health Care
3. Student Loans
4. The current Canadian Flag
5. The Order of Canada.
6. The 40 hour work week
7. Two weeks paid vacation
8. Minimum Wage law

Furthermore, nothing done under Trudeau should stand, including:

1. The Charter of Rights and Freedoms
2. Decriminalization of homosexual acts
3. Legalization of contraception
4. Legalization of abortion
5. Legalization of lotteries
6. Gun Ownership restrictions
7. Liberalization of divorce laws
8. Institution of breathalyzer tests for drunk drivers.
9. Regional development programs
10. Official Bilingualism
11. Repatriation of the Constitution.

How about Mulroney? Well, he only had 50% for his first term, but let's be honest, without most of the previous, Mulroney wouldn't have had to do a lot of what he did, including:

1. The GST
2. Meech Lake Accord
3. Charlottetown Accord
4. 8 additional Senators

Cretien?

1. Changes to the Young Offender's Act
2. The Clarity Act
3. The Sponsorship Scandal
4. The Sea King Helicopter deal being cancelled

You see? It's all a matter of perspective. I hope that people remember this before they start spouting about how 60% of the country voted AGAINST this newly minted majority government.

Copied from oxygentax http://www.oxygentax.com/


[ view entry ] ( 227 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 615 )

---

Courtesy of the Tuscaloosa Fire & Rescue Service, Alabama 

Wednesday, May 4, 2011, 02:41 PM
Posted by Administrator

<br>

Pay attention everyone!


[ view entry ] ( 270 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 316 )

---

Symmetry 

Wednesday, May 4, 2011, 01:59 PM
Posted by Administrator

Symmetry from Everynone on Vimeo.

Made by Everynone

in collaboration with WNYC | Radiolab

http://www.everynone.com /> http://www.radiolab.org

See it on Vimeo


[ view entry ] ( 246 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 275 )

---

Humor 

Wednesday, May 4, 2011, 09:30 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, May 4, 2011

There were no calls for election recounts. Election talk was
dropped like a fart in polite company. It wasn't really a serious
interruption of the hockey season. Some pundits are muttering 
to themselves, but the real topics are hockey, Bin Laden,
Gadafi, and Syria.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!




Insanity is hereditary.
You get it from your kids!
--- Socratex

Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst
those in touch with it.
--- Jane Wagner



One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree
above the river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out,
an angel appeared and asked,"Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into the water.

The angel went down into the water and reappeared with a
golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the angel asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The angel again went down and came up with a silver axe.
"Is this your axe?" the angel asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The angel went down again and came up with an iron axe.
"Is this your axe?" the angel asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The angel was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him
all three axes to keep, and so the woodcutter went home
happily.

One day, while he was walking with his wife along the
riverbank, the woodcutter's wife fell into the river. When he
cried out, the angel again appeared and asked him,
"Why are you crying?"

"Oh, Angel, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The angel went down into the water and came up with
Jennifer Lopez. "Is this your wife?" the angel asked.

"Yes!" cried the woodcutter.

The angel was furious. "You liar! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my angel.
It is a misunderstanding.
You see, if I said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, you will come
up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then, if I also say 'no' to
her, you will thirdly come up with my wife, and I will say
'yes.' Then you will make me feed all three of them!

But angel, I am a poor man and I will not be able to
take care of all three wives, so that's why I said yes the
first time."



Learn Digital Photography Now
Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking 
Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, 
Even If You Are A Complete Newbie!
This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!




The construction foreman ordered one of his men to dig
a hole 8 feet deep. But after the job was done, the
boss returned and explained an error had been made and
the hole wouldn't be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered
the worker. 

The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a
problem. He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into
the hole without leaving a mound on top. He went to the
office and explained his problem.

"Honestly!" the foreman snorted. "The kind of help I
get these days! There's obviously only one thing to do.
You'll have to dig that hole deeper!"


Thanks to Dad for this picture.


Click through the picture to the large version.

He even managed to get his reflection in there!

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Bradley Gummow, 35, in Bartow, Florida


Bartow teacher charged with drug possession
Bartow police say they pulled over 33-year-old Bradley Gummow 
for a traffic stop shortly before 11 a.m. at the intersection of Polk 
Street and Baker Avenue. 

While talking with Gummow, cops say they observed a plastic bag 
in his mouth and called in a K-9 unit.

Police say when they asked Gummow what was in his mouth, the 
suspect turned and refused to cooperate with officers.

Gummow allegedly began resisting police until he was shot with a 
Taser stun gun. He then spit out what turned out to be five individual 
bags containing marijuana, weighing a total of 4.7 grams.

Gummow is an 11th and 12th grade teacher at Bartow High School, 
assigned to teach International Baccalaureate and Advanced 
Placement students. 

Before Monday's arrest, Gummow was on probation for reckless 
driving involving alcohol. He is now charged with possession of 
marijuana, violation of probation, and resisting an officer without 
force or violence.



From the Tech Support Pits:

From  
Re: 

Dear Webby,



Dear 





Have FUN
DearWebby



Internet TV
100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market.
Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30
60 day money back guarantee!

User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of 
TV channels!  

Internet TV is also a
perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their
TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 
for 3500 channels, 
BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! 

BELL is really making Internet TV look good!




Eunice went to the dentist the other day.  It was
discovered that she had a cavity that would have to be
filled.
"Now, Eunice," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling
would you like?"

Without hesitation Eunice replied, "Chocolate, please."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Saving Money on Office Beverages
Here's my tip about saving money on snacks. I am a 
administrative assistant at a small office. I noticed that all 
of us were going out to the local convenience store and 
buying cans of Diet Coke (the most inexpensive pop) for 
79 cents.

I got everyone together and told them of my observation. 
We then decided that we could save money by buying 
more together instead of buying a few cans at a time. 
What we do now is every weekend I buy a case of regular 
pop and a case of diet pop. Each person wishing to have 
one puts 30 cents into the money box, and we have our drink!

The bonus is that our business has improved from all of us 
being around more, plus when we entertain we don't have to 
rush out and buy drinks - we just charge the business the 
same rate. 30 cents x 12 cans = $3.60, which is a 12 pack 
of pop plus tax. We stock up when they're on sale as well - 
so there's plenty around.

It's just a thought to watch people at your office and building 
and try to work together to save money for everyone!

Concetta from Westmont, IL
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



When my sister's husband died, she went to the bank to
put his affairs in order. The young clerk looked up their
joint account and then asked, "Which of you is deceased?"

"I am", she told the clerk, "but my husband was in such
deep shock about it, that they buried him instead of me."

"Well, if you are deceased," the teller muttered, "you can't
have a bank account and it goes to him. But if he is buried,
he can't sign the checks!"

"That's OK", my sister told her, "they take VISA anywhere.
I'll be responsible for the checks, and you can send the
VISA bills to him."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


Kim was telling her friend how she gets her son out of bed
in the morning.
"I just open his door and toss the cat on his bed.
He sleeps with his dog."






 »   Sweet Scent 

[ view entry ] ( 138 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 343 )

---

A Great Day For Canada 

Tuesday, May 3, 2011, 01:58 PM -
Posted by Administrator

YEEEHAWWW!!!!!!!!!!! The country came to its senses last night and gave the Conservatives a majority.

Thank you to the Ontarians who recognized the idiocy of cap and trade legislation proposed by handjob Jack and wiggy Iggy.

Canada now has a stable government that can weather the rest of the financial storm.

I hope our American cousins will wake up in 2012 and deliver a government capable of fighting the gullible warming crowd and implementing some rational fiscal policies that will move that economic engine back in the right direction.

By definition, a government has no conscience, sometimes it has a policy, but nothing more. --- Albert Camus


[ view entry ] ( 270 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 588 )

---

Online Election Fraud 

Tuesday, May 3, 2011, 09:50 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Election is over. Because our system is straightforward and without
the complicated weighting of votes and electoral college and 
exceptions, an hour after the polls closed in the Yukon, the results
were final.

After a short one month campaign, the parties, that reneged 
on the coalition and forced a hockey season election, 
got skunked. Now they are no longer part of the Government.
Harper got a clear majority and the renegades are now just 
hecklers, who don't count. It makes no difference if they
vote in parliament, or even show up to vote.

The US usually follows Canada. Expect a similar pro-economy 
swing to the right next year. Actually, I hope the economy will
anticipate and start gearing up even before the election, just
like business lost confidence and went elsewhere even before 
the last election.

Have FUN!
DearWebby




If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



By definition, a government has no conscience,
sometimes it has a policy, but nothing more.
--- Albert Camus

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's.
She changes it more often."
--- Oliver Herford

"The face of a child can say it all,
especially the mouth part of the face."
-- Jack Handey


Thanks to Vernon for this story:
I was the last to leave the office one Friday evening and
managed to lock myself out without my jacket and wallet.

Kneeling in a deserted hallway to try picking an electronic
lock with a paper clip, I heard the seam of my suit trousers
rip apart.

About then I realized I needed a screwdriver to remove
the lock plate, and said so, aloud.

Seconds later the elevator doors next to my office opened,
revealing a screwdriver in the middle of the floor.

There was a crackle from the wall speaker next to the
elevator. "This is security," said a sexy female voice.
"There's your screwdriver.  Sorry, but I don't have a
needle or thread for your pants!"

-----------------
Bet you that screwdriver did not help him with neither the
lock nor the pants. The screws on the outside are
dummies that are only intended to keep a wannabe
intruder busy long enough, so that building security can
call the cops or find a big stick.



Learn Digital Photography Now
Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking 
Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, 
Even If You Are A Complete Newbie!
This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!



On the first Sunday the new preacher only preached for10 
minutes. The second Sunday, he preached 20 minutes.
But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.

When asked about this by some of the congregation, he
responded this way:

The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.
The second Sunday, my new dentures were still hurting a lot.
The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures...
  AND I COULDN'T STOP TALKING!


Thnaks to Donna for this picture of her Rare Point Tree.


Click through the picture to the large version.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Sharry M. Long, 54, in Springfield, Ohio

DUI arrest occurs on way to face DUI charge
SPRINGFIELD — A 54-year-old Clark County woman was arrested 
on a charge of driving drunk Wednesday while on her way to face 
a similar charge in court, according to a police report.

Sharry M. Long was taken to the Clark County Jail and is scheduled 
to be arraigned this morning.

She was arrested after the Clark County Sheriff’s Office received 
a call that the operator of a white Ford Escort was driving erratically 
on north Ohio 41 from Newlove Road. A deputy later reported spotting 
Long traveling on East High Street and driving left of center. Long overcorrect and almost hit a parked car, according to the deputy’s report.

The deputy stopped Long at East High Street and Oakland Avenue for 
a left-of-center violation. The suspect appeared to be under the influence 
of alcohol and / or drugs because she had slurred speech, bloodshot 
eyes and had trouble staying awake, according to the report. When 
asked to exit the vehicle, she reportedly had trouble placing the car 
in park.

Long’s vehicle was towed from the scene. She also had several 
prescription medications that instructed her to avoid operating machinery, 
officials said.

Long was arrested March 17 on a charge of driving drunk and was 
arraigned March 29. She pleaded not guilty. Her pre-trail was scheduled 
for Wednesday, but was re-scheduled for May 16 following her arrest 
Wednesday.



From the Tech Support Pits:

From Maryann
Re: Election fraud

Dear Webby,
I got severely yelled at today and told I will be charged
with election fraud, because I put our Atlantic Canada results
onto the web, while voting was still going on in the West.
I know it's not proper, since it could influence voters, but
is it that serious?
Maryann from Quebec

Dear Maryann
In your case, it probably didn't influence anybody and was 
just for amusement, but the law is the same for everybody.

Quebec is a recipient province, that gets Billions of Social
Assistance from the contributor provinces, so it was quite 
predictable, that most Quebecois would vote Socialist. 

However, hearing the actual results from you could theoretically 
stampede the Westerners and cause them to drag people,
who would otherwise not have voted, to the polls. 
So you see, how that gossiping COULD be considered illegal
electioneering on election day. 

IF you had a huge audience, or if somebody leaked your 
information to a busy site, it could swing a few seats.

The way British Columbia, a former NDP province, swung to the
right at the end, some people are bound to argue that was 
because of gossipers like you. I doubt that they can demand 
a re-vote this time, but such gossiping COULD wind up getting
expensive!

I doubt that you will get more than a warning this time, but
it would be a very good idea to be a quiet observer four years 
from now.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Internet TV
100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market.
Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30
60 day money back guarantee!

User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of 
TV channels!  

Internet TV is also a
perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their
TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 
for 3500 channels, 
BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! 

BELL is really making Internet TV look good!



The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes.
The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes.
But, on the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.

When asked about this by some of the congregation, he
responded this way.....

The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk.
The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot.
The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures...
  AND I COULDN'T STOP TALKING!



A customer at Morris Green's' Gourmet Grocery marveled 
at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence.

"Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"

"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Morris replies,
lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since 
you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it: 
Fish heads.
You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."

"You sell them here?" the customer asks.

"Only $4 apiece," says Morris.

The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the
store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and
he isn't any smarter.

"You didn't eat enough, " says Morris. The customer goes
home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back
and this time he's really angry.

"Hey, Morris," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for
$4 apiece when I just found out I can buy the whole fish
for $2. You're ripping me off!"

"You see?" says Morris. "You're smarter already."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Make Your Own Take Along Coffee Packs
I love fresh brewed coffee. To make my own take along 
packs, I place a teaspoon or maybe a tablespoon of ground 
coffee into a coffee filter along with aspartame sugar and 
powder creamer, and fold the filter in from the sides and down 
from the top. I secure it with one staple like they do on tea 
bags and I have take along fresh brewed coffee. I can add 
them to hot water, heated in the microwave where ever and 
whenever. I make loads of these and keep them in an old 
empty glass lidded jar for at home and put some in a small 
zipock bag for my purse. This is much cheaper than buying 
them premade, and I can specialize them with any flavor 
I like.

By Kimsukie from Florissant, MO
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of
the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his
wife for weeks on end.

Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it
means nothing, they even have a vice president of prunes at
the grocery store!"

"Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom
decided to call the grocery store.

A clerk answers and Tom says, "Can I please talk to the Vice
President of prunes?"

The clerk replies, "Sure, dried or canned ?"



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


A Columbia lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination
when he stopped and said to the judge:
"Your honor, a juror is asleep."

The Judge ruled: "You put him to sleep; YOU wake him up."






 »   Rain Forests 

[ view entry ] ( 127 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.8 / 238 )

---

Funniest Story In a Long Time 

Monday, May 2, 2011, 07:07 PM -
Posted by Administrator

[ view entry ] ( 224 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.8 / 205 )

---

Beware of fake IRS Scam 

Monday, May 2, 2011, 09:06 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, May 2, 2011

Election day in Canada!
According to the polls the country is split exactly the same
as contributor and recipient provinces.
The contributor provinces are pretty solid behind Harper,
the recipient provinces favor the union guy with the Ted 
Turner wig and unkeepable promises.

Icky Iggy and Douchy are not really serious contenders.
They helped force an election during hockey season,
but don't seem to have a clue what they would do, if they
got elected. However, they do take votes away from
Harper and Layton.

And there is one more, the Green Party Blonde. 
Most wonder, if she will will find a polling booth, 
but the polls say she might get almost one percent,
but probably no elected MPs.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



The nothingness of the center creates the
somethingness of the doughnut."
--- Scott Livengood

It is said that power corrupts,
but actually it's more true that
power attracts the corruptible.
The sane are usually attracted by
other things than power.
--- David Brin


When I was 28, I was teaching English in a high school where
occasionally the faculty and staff were allowed to dress
down. One of those days I donned a sweatshirt and slacks.

A student came in, and his eyes widened. "Wow!" he exclaimed.
"You should wear clothes like that every day. You look twenty,
maybe even thirty years younger.



Learn Digital Photography Now
Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking 
Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, 
Even If You Are A Complete Newbie!
This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!



 "Louisa, could you help me with my math homework?"
 asked her younger brother.
 
Certainly not," replied Louisa indignantly.
"It wouldn't be right."

"Probably not," said her brother, "but you could at least
try and show me how you faked it !"



Thanks to Christine for this picture of her neighborhood 
Lorikeets cleaning up her breakfast table.



Click through the picture to the large version.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Nikolaus Trombley, 22 in East Lyme, Conn

Drunk rides off on stolen lawnmower
EAST LYME, Conn. (WTNH) - A man is facing charges for stealing a 
lawnmower from a school in East Lyme.

Police say 22-year old Nikolaus Trombley was caught on tape, stealing 
the lawnmower from East Lyme High School. Police say he stole it in the 
middle of the night and then took it for a ride.

Police say Trombley told them he was drunk and looking for a place to 
sleep when he broke into a trailer behind East Lyme High School. He was 
looking for the keys to the school when he spotted keys to a 
Scag Mower and decided to go on a joy ride instead.

Police say Trombley rode the three miles to his parent's house, 
mowed their lawn and was on his way to return the mower when 
he abandoned it near the intersection of Boston Post Road and 
Spring Rock Road. He's charged with third degree larceny and 
burglary.

Surveillance video taken at 2:07 early Wednesday morning 
shows Trombley riding by the Boston Post Road building. 
Police say Trombley, formerly of Vermont, is now living in his 
parent's East Lyme home.

We're told it is difficult to ride a Scag Mower, and Trombley 
is lucky there were no accidents considering he was drunk.

A Skag Mower is a riding mower with powered rear wheels
and swivel casters for the front wheels. It is steered with
brake/clutch levers controlling the rear wheels. They are 
very agile and can turn on a dime, but take a bit of getting
used to.


From the Tech Support Pits:

From Roland
Re: IRS Scam

Dear Webby,
Although the federal tax filing season ended on April 15, the
Internal Revenue Service continues to see new tax scams.
Two new schemes target families of those serving in the military
and e-mail users. In both schemes, people represent themselves
as being from the IRS.

The IRS warns consumers to beware of any variation of a scenario
in which a telephone caller posing as an IRS employee tells a family
member that he is entitled to a $4,000 refund because his relative
is in the Armed Forces and then requests a credit card number to
cover a $42 fee for postage.

Genuine IRS employees who call taxpayers do not ask for credit
card numbers or request fees for payment of a refund.

If you get a call or email like that, write down the phone number,
hang up and and contact the Treasury Inspector General for Tax
Administration (800) 366-4484

Roland

Dear Roland
Before you hang up on the crooks, feel free to use
any saved up profanity you can remember.

And don't bother calling the IRS. The scammers spoof the 
number that shows in the call display. There is nothing 
they can do with a fake number.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Internet TV
100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market.
Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30
60 day money back guarantee!

User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of 
TV channels!  

Internet TV is also a
perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their
TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 
for 3500 channels, 
BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! 

BELL is really making Internet TV look good!



My blonde friend Ann and I were eating at a Chinese
restaurant. When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our
places, Ann made a point of reaching into her purse and
pulling out her own pair.
"As an environmentalist," she declared, "I do not approve
of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils."

The waiter inspected her chopsticks.
"Velly bootiful," he said politely. "Ivoly from sca-ace,
endange-ad animahs, instead of fahm gwown choptick wood.
In old time onny litch sumbitch bigshot use ivoly choptick to
make shua wood iss not poisonnd."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Make Your Own Take Along Coffee Packs
I love fresh brewed coffee. To make my own take along 
packs, I place a teaspoon or maybe a tablespoon of ground 
coffee into a coffee filter along with aspartame sugar and 
powder creamer, and fold the filter in from the sides and down 
from the top. I secure it with one staple like they do on tea 
bags and I have take along fresh brewed coffee. I can add 
them to hot water, heated in the microwave where ever and 
whenever. I make loads of these and keep them in an old 
empty glass lidded jar for at home and put some in a small 
zipock bag for my purse. This is much cheaper than buying 
them premade, and I can specialize them with any flavor 
I like.

By Kimsukie from Florissant, MO
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



My little brother was always "borrowing" money and never 
remembered to pay it back.

Soon everyone learned to say they didn't have any if he
asked to borrow money. Then one night he asked me if I
had change for a twenty dollar bill, so, like a fool I said yes.

He asked "Can I borrow it?"
He got me again!!



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

A doctor in Oklahoma recently made a seriously incorrect
diagnosis. 

He treated a patient for a cold before learning the
guy could afford a virus and a flu.






 »   Fruit Sculpture 

[ view entry ] ( 147 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3.1 / 345 )

---

How to smooth old fonts? 

Sunday, May 1, 2011, 09:31 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, May 1, 2011

It warmed up to 8 above freezing in the afternoon, but with
a nasty north wind. I went for my walk anyway, and even wore
my shorts. Yes, sure I looked goofy, wearing my parka jacket
and shorts, but nobody laughed. 
Mainly because nobody else was out walking.

One lady, who turned up her collar to brave the wind chill
between her car at the curb and her house, pointed at my legs
and pumped a raised fist. 

So I walked an additional two miles. This opposite of gullible 
warming is a nuisance, but it won't stop me!

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!




Politicians should read science fiction, not westerns and detective stories.
--- Arthur C. Clarke



A woman approached the minister after the sermon,
and thanked him for his discourse.
"I found it so helpful," she said.
The minister replied: "I hope it will not prove as helpful
as the last sermon you heard me preach."
"Why, what do you mean?" asked the astonished woman.

"Well," said the minister, "that sermon lasted you three years."



Learn Digital Photography Now
Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking 
Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, 
Even If You Are A Complete Newbie!
This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!




A math teacher is instructing her class in
multiplication and gives the students a
problem to solve.
"Now class," she says. "We know there are
60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an
hour, 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a
year. So who can tell me how many
seconds there are in a year?"
All the kids look baffled by the question
except one little fellow sitting in the back
row. He raises his hand and waves it
excitedly, and the teacher points to him.
"All right, how many seconds are there in a
year?" the teacher asks.
"Twelve, ma'am," the little fellow says
brightly. "January second, February second,
March second ..."





Click through the picture to the large version.

Carnival 2011 in Brazil

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Christopher Martell, 35, Camp Verde jail, Arizona

Re-Arrested
Northern Arizona authorities say a man just released from 
jail has been rearrested for allegedly stealing a vehicle and 
causing an accident.

Yavapai County Sheriff's officials say 35-year-old Christopher 
Martell was released from the Camp Verde Detention Center 
on Thursday afternoon. He had been in custody for trespassing 
at the sheriff's evidence facility in Prescott Valley.

Hours after getting out of jail, authorities say Martell allegedly 
stole a vehicle that belongs to a member of the detention staff.

Martell was later arrested after authorities say he intentionally 
crashed into another car and injuring a female driver.

Deputies say Martell has been booked back into jail on charges 
including car theft, criminal damage, aggravated assault with 
a deadly weapon and resisting arrest.

He's being held on $60,000 bond.


From the Tech Support Pits:

From Greta
Re: How do I smooth old writing on pictures?

Dear Webby,
Now that I have seen the picture o the forgery, it is rather 
obvious. If I did that with my driver's license, I'd get thrown
into the slammer instantly!

Can I smooth captions and writing on old pictures? They
are in GIF format and just maps with directions to different
sights in the park.
Thanks
Greta

Dear Greta
First save the pictures in JPG, PSP, PSD, or PNG format.
Increase the color depth from 256 to 16 Million.
The soften the picture, and if necessary, soften more.
After that, sharpen and increase contrast.

It won't make the writing quite as smooth and elegant as if 
you write it fresh, but it will look much better than it did.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Internet TV
100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market.
Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30
60 day money back guarantee!

User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of 
TV channels!  

Internet TV is also a
perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their
TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 
for 3500 channels, 
BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! 

BELL is really making Internet TV look good!




~ There are three signs of old age.
The first is your loss of memory.
I forget the other two.

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Remove Pine Sap with WD40
This is a handy tip I learned while cleaning up pine limbs 
after a recent ice storm. If you get pine sap on your skin 
you can spray a little WD40 on it and rub it gently. Then 
wash with soap and water and it will come off completely. 
I wish I had discovered this sooner as in the past it has 
been such a pain to finally get it all off. 
By Vickie from Dawson Springs, KY
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Yes, that is why every logger carries a 
can of WD40, except during mosquito season. OFF spray
works exactly the same. 

Loggers, of course, don't bother with the soap and water 
until the end of the shift. Spraying the hands with WD40,
wringing them a bit like a frantic preacher, and wiping them
on the jeans works well enough.

Removing the sap promptly is extremely important when limbing
and not using gloves. The sap makes spots on the hands stick
to the axe handle and quickly raises blisters. By using WD40
promptly whenever you get sap onto your hands, you can log
all year long without getting blisters.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:



The week Sue started a new job, her husband was out of town.
On the day he was to return, she thought it would be fun if he
picked her up at work and they could go out to dinner. She left
a note on the dining-room table with her new number and
this message: "For a good time, call 555-1234."

When her husband failed to show up, Sue took the bus home.
"Where were you?" she asked. "Didn't you get my note?"

"Oh," he replied with a sheepish grin, "I wasn't sure who
wrote it."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 


On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one
of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an
educational psychologist.

The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she
was returning to Miami after having spent two weeks
visiting her six children, 18 grandchildren and ten
great-grandchildren in Boston.
Then she inquired what I did for a living.

I told her, fully expecting her to question me for free
professional advice.

Instead she sat back, picked up a magazine and said, "If
there's anything you want to know, just ask me."






 »   Edible Roots 

[ view entry ] ( 132 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 625 )

---

Anti-Aliasing on the forgery 

Saturday, April 30, 2011, 08:01 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, April 30, 2011

Some sheeple sure got hysterical complaining about me 
mentioning the White House forgery. Does the truth hurt that much?

It makes no difference who the kuckoo actually is. 
It is too late to do anything about that. 

What irks me is the arrogant sloppiness of the forgery.
"Good enough for brainwashed sheep!"

Well, you got at least one person standing up for you!

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool
usually has his suspicions.
--- Wilson Mizner



An extremely shy fellow brings his date a bouquet of
flowers. She's so overcome she throws her arms
around him and kisses him long and hard.
After the kiss, red-faced, he turns and bolts for the door.
"Oh, I'm sorry," she says. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"You didn't," he replies. "I'm just going for more flowers."



Learn Digital Photography Now
Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking 
Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, 
Even If You Are A Complete Newbie!
This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!



A driver pulls up beside a farmhouse in eastern Nebraska.
He gets out and knocks at the door. An old woman answers,
and the driver asks her for directions to Des Moines, Iowa.
"Don't know," the woman says.
The driver gets back in his car and pulls away.
Then he hears voices. He looks in his rearview mirror and
sees the woman and a man of about the same age waving
for him to come back. He makes a U-turn and drives back to
them.
"This is my husband," the old woman says. "He doesn't
know how to get to Des Moines either."
------------
They sound like gas station attendants in Phoenix, AZ.


Tanks to Kim for this picture:


Click through the picture to the large version.

True doublke rainbow, with reversed colors.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Dorothy McGurk, 43, new York

Woman Caught Belly Dancing Loses Disability Claim
NEW YORK (AP) - A New York City woman who was getting $850 a 
month in alimony because she was supposedly disabled and 
unable to work had her payments slashed after her ex-husband 
spotted online photos of her belly dancing.

Brian McGurk went to court after discovering a blog that showed 
his 43-year-old ex-wife dancing for pay at a gallery.

In other Internet postings, she wrote about dancing vigorously 
for several hours every day.

Dorothy McGurk told the court that the dancing was physical 
therapy for injuries she suffered in a car accident in the 
mid-1990s.

Richmond County Supreme Court Justice Catherine DiDomenico 
didn't buy it — and reduced her payments to $400 per month.

The judge also ordered her to pay her ex-husband's legal fees 
and 60 percent from the sale of their home.


From the Tech Support Pits:
Re-Run, WITH the picture I mentioned.

From Randal
Re: What is anti-aliasing?

Dear Webby,
Most of the mail and reports about the official White House
forgery mention that some of the stuff klutzed into the 
certificate has modern anti-aliasing, that was not available
in those days, just like the name of the hospital or the 
name of the country of the father.

So what is anti-aliasing?
Randal

ear Randal
Have a look at the certificate at the White House site:
Official Birth certificate
If that site is too busy and too slow, here is a cut of the 
top right corner from there:


Look at the "1" that I circled and enlarged.
Ignore the amateurish mismatch in size, look at the contour.
See that nice smoothing of the outline, that makes it so much
more pleasant to look at, than the "1"s from 1961 ?
That smoothing is called anti-aliasing.

All modern graphics programs have that since the mid 80's
and have the option to turn it on or off.

The official  White House forger forgot to turn that anti-aliasing
option off on his Mac, and thereby made it quite obvious at first
glance, that it was a clumsy forgery.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Internet TV
100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market.
Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30
60 day money back guarantee!

User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of 
TV channels!  

Internet TV is also a
perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their
TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 
for 3500 channels, 
BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! 

BELL is really making Internet TV look good!



The showers in Jane's daughter's dorm turned scalding
hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To warn others,
residents would yell out, "Flushing!" each time
they flushed the toilets.

During one of her daughter's visits home, a friend stopped
by to chat for a while. Jane was explaining how her daughter
was acting more distant now that she was in college, and
that she didn't tell her all about her life the way she used to.
Suddenly they heard the daughter call out from the bathroom,
"Flushing!"

"Good grief," said Jane's friend, "How much more do you want
to know?"

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Make Replacement Boxes For Playing Cards
My kids are always tearing the boxes that playing cards 
come in. I cut a Little Debbie oatmeal box down to where 
it is a little taller than the cards and put the cards in it. 
I used the bottom of the box and cut the top part off. 
I plan on decorating it later. The box will stand up or 
lay down.

By Sandrafadeley from Portland, TN
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


My kids never understood my logic.
They totally failed to see why they had to go to bed
when I was tired.



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

One Sunday afternoon, the Pastor's wife dropped into an
easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tried!"
Her husband looked over at her and said, "I had to conduct
two special services last night, three today, and give a total
of five sermons. Why are you so tired?"

"Dearest," she replied, "I had to pretend to listen to all of them!"






 »   Cinemagraphs 

[ view entry ] ( 218 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 2.9 / 202 )

---

What is anti-aliasing? 

Friday, April 29, 2011, 10:04 AM

   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, April 29, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!

During the first half of Thursday I received all kinds of mail about
the many klutzy flaws in the White House forgery. 

In the second half, the topic changed to the question: "Why is 
the main stream media not commenting about the forgery?
Have they been scared and intimidated and forbidden to
comment on the forgery?"

Well, that seems to be rather obvious.

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the server cost 

please donate what you can!



We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing,
while others judge us by what we have already done.
--- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
--- Socratex


Two English men are walking along O'Connell Street in Dublin,
Ireland when they see a sign in a shop window.
Suits $15.00, shirts $2.00, trousers $2.50.

One said to the other one "Look at that - we could buy a lot
of that gear and, when we get back to England we could
make a fortune, When we go into the shop don't say
anything, let me do all the talking, cause if they hear our
accent they might not serve us, so I'll speak in my best
Irish accent."

They go in and he orders, 50 suits at $15.00, 100 shirts at
$2.00 and 50 trousers at $2.50 The owner of the shop says

"You're English aren't you?"
The Englishman replies "Oh bother... Yes, how did you
know that?"

The owner says, "This is a Dry Cleaner shop."



Learn Digital Photography Now
Learn How To Quickly And Easily Start Taking 
Awesome Photos With Any Digital Camera, 
Even If You Are A Complete Newbie!
This course will make a bigger difference than a new camera!



Donald wore a  toupe. One Sunday morning he was fussing
about how bad it looked and everyone would know he
wore a toupe.

His 7 year old daughter told him "No they won't...
no one I  told, had known!"


Tanks to Betty for this picture:


Click through the picture to the large version.

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Daniel Alberto Barros, 23, in Miami-Dade, Florida

Man struck by own car, still snags suspect
DES MOINES, Iowa -- A tire store employee was hit with his 
own car when he tried to stop someone from stealing it over 
the weekend -- but despite an injured leg, he ran the car 
down on foot and took the suspect into custody.

Timothy Ray is still sore, but he managed to return to work 
Monday.

"Yeah, he hit me with my own car," said Ray, 36. 
"I tried to stop him, but he clipped me pretty good. He got 
me in the knee, and I rolled my ankle."

The impact threw Ray back into the side of the tire store.

Ray works at Graham Tire and was on duty early Saturday 
afternoon when someone noticed a man going through cars 
at some nearby businesses. By the time Ray was aware that 
someone was going through his Buick in the tire store parking 
lot, the man was starting it with keys he'd found under the seat.

Ray, who was about 30 feet away when the culprit started 
the car and drove off, tried to stop him.

After hitting Ray with the stolen car, the driver hit a fence, a 
utility pole and the building, and then he drove off, snapping 
another utility pole. Shortly thereafter, the driver crashed into 
a parked car.

Despite his injuries, Ray was running behind his stolen car, 
and he caught up with the driver . His car was totaled. Ray 
took the thief to the ground and put him in a headlock and 
choke hold.

Store manager Jeff Chapman was right behind Ray and 
helped sit on the suspect until police arrived.

Robert Noah Reynolds, 18, of West Des Moines, Iowa, is 
charged with first-degree theft, interference with official 
acts, assault with intent to inflict serious injury and six 
counts of hit-and-run. He was in the Polk County Jail on 
Monday, held on $21,300 bond.

Chapman said the alleged car thief "seemed to have lost 
his mind."

"He caused a lot of destruction in a short amount of time," 
Chapman said.


From the Tech Support Pits:
From Randal
Re: What is anti-aliasing?

Dear Webby,
Most of the mail and reports about the official White House
forgery mention that some of the stuff klutzed into the 
certificate has modern anti-aliasing, that was not available
in those days, just like the name of the hospital or the 
name of the country of the father.

So what is anti-aliasing?
Randal

Dear Randal
Have a look at the certificate at the White House site:
Official Birth certificate
If that site is too busy and too slow, here is a cut of the 
top right corner from there:


Look at the "1" that I circled and enlarged.
Ignore the amateurish mismatch in size, look at the contour.
See that nice smoothing of the outline, that makes it so much
more pleasant to look at, than the "1"s from 1961 ?
That smoothing is called anti-aliasing.

All modern graphics programs have that since the mid 80's
and have the option to turn it on or off.

The official  White House forger forgot to turn that anti-aliasing
option off on his Mac, and thereby made it quite obvious at first
glance, that it was a clumsy forgery.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Internet TV
100% legal and BEST Internet TV product on the market.
Over 3500 channels for a one time fee of under $30
60 day money back guarantee!

User friendly interface and absolute maximum number of 
TV channels!  

Internet TV is also a
perfect Mother's Day gift, that will actually get used!

I got some paper junkmail today from BELL, advertising their
TV deal. Instead of a one time fee of under $30 
for 3500 channels, 
BELL wants $35 EVERY MONTH for just 200 channels! 

BELL is really making Internet TV look good!



One time, sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that
the flight to Vegas was full. The airline was looking for
volunteers to give up their seats.

In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next
flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour
later. About eight people ran up to the counter to take
advantage of the offer.

About a minute later all eight of those people sat down
grumpily, as the lady behind the ticket counter announced:
"If there is anyone else, OTHER than the flight crew, who'd
like to volunteer, please step forward."

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Growing Basil
Growing Basil Basil is one of the most popular herbs in the 
home garden. Known for its strong, peppery flavor (with hints 
of licorice), and its striking ornamental foliage. Basil is as versatile 
in the landscape as it is in the kitchen. 

http://www.thriftyfun.com/
http://www.thriftyfun.com/

Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:


Thanks to Ellie for this one:
To confirm her suspicions my sister needed to purchase a
pregnancy test kit. Since I was going to the pharmacy, she
asked me to pick one up for her. I didn't stop to think how I
appeared to the clerk when I waddled up, nine months
pregnant, to pay for the kit.

"Honey," she said, "I can save you $15 right now.
You're definitely pregnant."



Ophelia Dingbatter's News


No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. 

A young minister, in his first days at his first parish,
is obliged to conduct the funeral services for an
eccentric man who has just died. At he funeral home,
he stands before the open casket and tries to think of
words to console the widow.
Finally, the minister says, "I know this must be a very
hard blow, Mrs. Jones. But we must remember that
what we see here is only the husk, the shell.
The nut has gone to heaven."






 »   Feline Funnies 

[ view entry ] ( 230 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |   ( 3 / 998 )

---

<<First <Back | 92 | 93 | 94 | 95 | 96 | 97 | 98 | 99 | 100 | 101 | Next> Last>>