What is my IP number? 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, November 19

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:


Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 17 in 


1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E.
Blaisdell. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time. --- Tallulah Bankhead ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Due to inherit a fortune when his sickly, widower father died, a man decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. Going to a singles' bar, he spotted a woman whose beauty took his breath away. "I'm just an ordinary man," he said, walking up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." The woman went home with the man. The next day she became his stepmother. (Men will never learn) ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Roland for this one: A Zebra died and arrived at the Pearly Gates. As he entered, he said to St. Peter, "I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes? St. Peter said, "That's a question only God can answer" So, the zebra set off in search of God. When he found Him, the zebra asked, "God, please -I must know - am I a white horse with black stripes or a black horse with white stripes?" God simply replied "You are what you are." The zebra returned to St. Peter, who asked, "Well, did God straighten out your query for you"? The zebra looked puzzled. "No sir, God simply said "you are what you are." St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, "Well then, that answers it; you are a white horse with black stripes." The zebra looked puzzled and asked St. Peter, "How do you know that"? "Because," St. Peter said, "if you were a black horse with white stripes, God would have said "Yo is wot yo is." ______________________________________________________ Spanish Gate Keeper ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Shemroy Williams, 31, Taunton, Massachusetts Man convicted of using Cheetos to try and burn down ex's home A 31-year-old Taunton man who attempted to burn down his ex- girlfriend’s house while she was still inside was convicted of malicious destruction of property and sentenced to serve the maximum two-and-a-half year jail sentence, according to the Bristol County District Attorney’s Office. Shemroy Williams, of 42 Weir St., was convicted by a jury in Taunton District Court after just one hour of deliberation, the Taunton Gazette reported. On March 10, 2016, Taunton police and fire officials responded to 164 Somerset Ave. after the intended victim and her friend reported that the defendant was attempting to light the home on fire. An investigation revealed Williams attempted to light the home on fire in five different locations and wedged a propane tank up against the house while a fire on the back porch was burning. Fire officials were able to pull the tank away from the home before it ignited. Police located Williams about 100 yards away from the home with two lighters in his pocket and an empty bag of Cheetos. Investigators determined the defendant attempted to use the Cheetos to accelerate the fire. “The defendant engaged in outrageous behavior that jeopardized the safety of the intended victim, her friend and first responders,” said District Attorney Thomas Quinn. “I want to thank Deputy Fire Chief Scott Dexter for his quick response and removal of the propane tank. I would also like to thank Judge Brennan for imposing the maximum jail sentence, which was well deserved.” The case was prosecuted by Assistant District Attorney Shawn Guilderson and the sentence was handed down by Judge Michael Brennan. Williams’ ex-girlfriend told police she’d previously had a romantic relationship with him and he’d been stalking her. She told police he had destroyed her cellphone, told her he thinks about killing her and had damaged her car by cutting undercarriage wires that he might have thought were a brake line, police said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Cindy Re: What is my IP address? Dear Webby, I need to know my IP address, where I am, not my site. How can I get my IP address when I am away from home and using a WiFi at Tim Hortons or Wendys or whereever? Thanks Cindy Dear Cindy Just go to http://webby.com/ip My site will instantly tell you in plain text, so that you can copy and paste. Have FUN! DearWebby A man driving in Southern Indiana, heading for Kentucky, saw a sign that read: "LAST CHANCE FOR $2.45 GAS!!!" He still had more than a quarter of a tank left, but figured he'd better take advantage of this opportunity to fill-up his tank cheap. As he was getting his change from the attendant, he asked, "So, how much IS gas in Kentucky?" The man replied, "Two bucks and a quarter."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cornstarch, Vinegar and Water for Window Cleaning By Robyn [444 Posts, 823 Comments] A wonderful window cleaner can be made out of the following: Mix 2 cups of hot water with 1/4 cup of vinegar and a tablespoon of cornstarch. Mix very well, and the pour into a spray bottle. Use with crumpled up newspaper. The windows will shine!
news bloopers
____________________________________________________ At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "Service" .......... "The act of doing things for other people." Then I heard the terms: Internal Revenue Service Postal Service Telephone Service Civil Service City/County Public Service Customer Service Service Stations And I became confused about the word "Service." This is not what I thought "Service" meant. Then today, I overheard two farmers talking and one of them mentioned that he was having a bull over to "Service" a few of his cows. It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "Service" agencies are doing to us. ____________________________________________________ Thanks to Angela for this classic: A pompous minister was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink. The minister replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips." The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me too! I didn't know we had that choice on this flight!" ____________________________________________________
Scandinavian grass roofed-houses. Like something from Lord of the Rings.
A woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering, her voice begins warbling, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, "Granddaughter? Are you there?" The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, "Grandmother? Is that you?" "Yes granddaughter, it's me." "It's really, really you, grandmother?", the woman repeats. "Yes, it's really me, granddaughter." The woman looks puzzled, "You're sure it's you, grandmother?" "Yes, granddaughter, I'm sure it's me." The woman pauses a moment, "Grandmother, I have just one question for you." "Anything, my child." "Grandmother, when did you learn to speak English?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 19

1794 Britain's King George III signed the Jay Treaty. It
resolved the issues left over from the Revolutionary War. 

1850 The first life insurance policy for a woman was issued.
Carolyn Ingraham, 36 years old, bought the policy in Madison,
NJ. 

1863 U.S. President Lincoln delivered his Gettysburg Address
as he dedicated a national cemetery at the site of the Civil
War battlefield in Pennsylvania. 

1893 The first newspaper color supplement was published in
the Sunday New York World. 

1895 The "paper pencil" was patented by Frederick E.
Blaisdell. 

1919 The U.S. Senate rejected the Treaty of Versailles with a
vote of 55 in favor to 39 against. A two-thirds majority was
needed for ratification. 

1928 "Time" magazine presented its cover in color for the
first time. The subject was Japanese Emperor Hirohito. 

1942 During World War II, Russian forces launched their
winter offensive against the Germans along the Don front. 

1954 Two automatic toll collectors were placed in service on
the Garden State Parkway in New Jersey. 

1959 Ford Motor Co. announced it was ending the production of
the unpopular Edsel. 

1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles Conrad and Alan Bean made
man's second landing on the moon. 

1970 Hafiz al-Assad seized power in Syria. 

1977 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat became the first Arab
leader to set foot in Israel on an official visit. 

1981 U.S. Steel agreed to pay $6.3 million for Marathon Oil. 

1985 U.S. President Reagan and Soviet leader Mikhail S.
Gorbachev met for the first time as they began their summit
in Geneva. 

1990 NATO and the Warsaw Pact signed a treaty of
nonaggression. 

1993 The U.S. Senate approved a sweeping $22.3 billion anti-
crime measure giving them absolute monopoly in crime. 

1994 The U.N. Security Council authorized NATO to bomb rebel
Serb forces striking from neighboring Croatia. 

1997 In Carlisle, IA, septuplets were born to Bobbi
McCaughey. It was only the second known case where all seven
were born alive. 

1998 The impeachment inquiry of U.S. President Clinton began.


1998 Vincent van Gogh's "Portrait of the Artist Without
Beard" sold at auction for more than $71 million. 

1999 In Istanbul, Turkey, the Organization for Security and
Cooperation in Europe (OSCE) concluded a two-day summit after
adopting a new arms accord. During the conference, Russia was
criticized for its military campaign against Chechnya's
separatist movement. 

2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed the most
comprehensive air security bill in U.S. history. 

2002 The oil tanker Prestige broke into two pieces and sank
off northwest Spain. The tanker lost about 2 million gallons
of fuel oil when it ruptured November 13th and was towed
about 150 miles out to sea. 

2002 The U.S. government completed its takeover of security
at 424 airports nationwide. 

2007 The Amazon Kindle was first released.

2016  smiled.


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Is Scanguard safe? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, November 18
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Nov 17's space launch
The Soyuz MS-03 spacecraft launches from the Baikonur
Cosmodrome with Expedition 50 crewmembers NASA astronaut
Peggy Whitson, Russian cosmonaut Oleg Novitskiy of Roscosmos,
and ESA astronaut Thomas Pesquet from the Baikonur Cosmodrome
in Kazakhstan on Nov. 17 at 3:20 p.m. EST (2020 GMT).

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Floriduh man attacks girlfriend with taser, toilet 
plunger, pepper spray and sword in front of her kids
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 17 in 

1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles "Pete" Conrad Jr. and Alan
L. Bean landed on the lunar surface during the second manned
mission to the moon.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. --- Kin Hubbard (1868 - 1930) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ FACT: Statistics show that teen age prenancy drops off significantly after age 25. OPINION: If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, then it's good enough for me. ______________________________________________________ Actual Analogies and Metaphors Found in High School Essays 1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master. 2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. 3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. 4. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. 5. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. 6. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM. 7. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30. 8. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. 9. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. 10. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. ("wont">to have the habit of doing something) 11. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. 12. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. 13. "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night. 14. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. 15. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. 16. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools. 17. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. 18. She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword. 19. She lumbered into my office like a centipede with 98 broken legs. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Craig Samuel Coe, 32, Fort Myers, Floriduh Floriduh man attacks girlfriend with taser, toilet plunger, pepper spray and sword in front of her kids A Southwest Florida woman claims her boyfriend pepper sprayed her, tased her and attacked her with a sword and a toilet plunger in front of her kids. Craig Samuel Coe, 32, is facing several charges including aggravated battery, illegal possession of a weapon, kidnapping and child neglect. Fort Myers police responded to a domestic dispute early Friday morning at the Waterford Apartments. Police say Coe viciously attacked his girlfriend Jasmine Meyer during a jealousy fueled rage. According to the police report, Coe's verbal assault turned physical when he pepper sprayed Meyer, then punched her in the face. That's when Meyer grabbed her two young kids and tried to leave. Coe stopped Meyer by hitting her with a sword sheath and sword. Meyer's daughter also got hit. She was bleeding when officers arrived. The fighting left Meyer with "deep cuts, a bloody nose, bruises, and knots on her forehead." Meyer eventually escaped to a neighbor's apartment, where she called police. Officers later found an assault rife and a bag of ammunition in the apartment. Neighbors telling Four In Your Corner that the two often argued. Coe has previous convictions for grand theft, burglary and drug possession. Meyer did not wish to comment on the incident Wednesday. She did tell Fox4 that she has hired an attorney. The Department of Children and Families may also be getting involved. Very nice hots ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Denise Re: Is Scanguard a scam? Dear Webby, What are your thoughts on this: Is this Scanguard a scam? Denise Dear Denise Spammers are scammers. Dump it. Windows Defender, which is usually considered the lowest and least effective guard, is better than that stuff. Don't waste your time with it. Some people reported that it demands $49 per year to remove nonexistent malware, and that after a month it acts like ransomware on W10. It is definitely not in the same league as McAfee or Malwarebytes or Kaspersky. If they last a year, and do more than plaster advertising and fake reviews all over the net and late night TV, you might try it then. Right now the consensus is to stay away from it. If you can't afford McAfee or Kaspersky: For Vista or Windows 7 use MSE - Free. For Windows 8/8.1 and 10 use Windows Defender which in those OS's is a full antivirus (same as MSE). And use the Windows Firewall. Have FUN! DearWebby A woman with 14 children, ranging in age from one to fourteen, went to court to sue her husband for divorce on grounds of desertion. "When did he leave you?" the judge asked. "Thirteen years ago," the tired mother replied. The judge was confused. "Well, if he left thirteen years ago, where did all these children come from?" "Well," said the woman, "he kept coming back once a year to say he was sorry."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Hard Water/Mineral Stains on Glassware Simple vinegar is what I use as we have such horrible water here in Greece. I fill a bucket or large container with water, add vinegar and leave overnight. You can also use hot water and it will work faster. I use vinegar in my electric hot water pot every week as well as in stainless steel pots and pans. I love vinegar and use it quite a lot around the house. I also squirt it on my balcony tiles to keep the ants away from the house!! Hope this helps. Guest (Guest Post) Use Lemi Shine! You just add it to your detergent and run the dishwasher as usual. I live in a VERY hard water area and I can tell you that it is the ONLY thing that works. By guest (Guest Post)
feudin banjos
____________________________________________________ "You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. "If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness. ____________________________________________________ A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws." ____________________________________________________
Can you spot the people in these body paintings?
A voice on the office loudspeaker announced: "We will be testing the speaker system to make sure it will work pro- perly in case of emergency. If you are unable to hear this announcement, please call Bev at the front desk." Everybody called to tell her that they did not hear the announcement.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 18

1477 William Caxton produced "Dictes or Sayengis of the
Philosophres," which was the first book to be printed in
England. 

1865 Samuel L. Clemens published "The Celebrated Jumping Frog
of Calaveras County" under the pen name "Mark Twain" in the
New York "Saturday Press." 

1883 The U.S. and Canada adopted a system of standard time
zones. 

1903 The U.S. and Panama signed a treaty that granted the
U.S. rights to build the Panama Canal. 

1916 Douglas Haig, commander of the British Expeditionary
Force in World War I, called off the Battle of the Somme in
France. The offensive began on July 1, 1916. 

1928 The first successful sound-synchronized animated cartoon
premiered in New York. It was Walt Disney's "Steamboat
Willie," starring Mickey Mouse. 

1936 Germany and Italy recognized the Spanish government of
Francisco Franco. 

1942 "The Skin of Our Teeth," by Thornton Wilder opened on
Broadway. 

1959 William Wyler's "Ben-Hur" premiered at Loew's Theater in
New York City's Times Square. 

1966 U.S. Roman Catholic bishops did away with the rule
against eating meat on Fridays. 

1969 Apollo 12 astronauts Charles "Pete" Conrad Jr. and Alan
L. Bean landed on the lunar surface during the second manned
mission to the moon. 

1976 The parliament of Spain approved a bill that established
a democracy after 37 years of dictatorship. 

1983 Argentina announced its ability to produce enriched
uranium for use in nuclear weapons. 

1985 Joe Theismann (Washington Redskins) broke his leg after
being hit by Lawrence Taylor (New York Giants). The injury
ended Theismann's 12 year National Football League (NFL)
career. 

1987 The U.S. Congress issued the Iran-Contra Affair report.
The report said that President Ronald Reagan bore "ultimate
responsibility" for wrongdoing by his aides. 

1987 CBS Inc. announced it had agreed to sell its record
division to Sony Corp. for about $2 billion. 

1988 U.S. President Reagan signed major legislation providing
the death penalty for drug traffickers who kill. 

1993 The U.S. House of Representatives joined the U.S. Senate
in approving legislation aimed at protecting abortion
facilities, staff and patients. 

1993 American Airlines flight attendants went on strike. They
ended their strike only 4 days later. 

1993 Representatives from 21 South African political parties
approved a new constitution. 

1997 First Union Corp. announced its purchase of CoreStates
Financial Corp. for $16.1 billion. To date it was the largest
banking deal in U.S. history. 

2001 Nintendo released the GameCube home video game console
in the United States.

2016  smiled.


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How bad is WINTOOLS.EXE? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, November 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
"Law-Abiding Pervert" Faces Child Porn Raps
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 17 in 

1869 - The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the
Mediterranean and the Red seas. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ A cult is a religion with no political power. --- Tom Wolfe (1931 - ) Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog; fewer when pursued by a mad woman; only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion. --- Robertson Davies ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine." ______________________________________________________ BUZZWORDS BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles. PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato. SITCOMS: (Single Income, Two Children, Opressive Mortgage) What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property, and no regrets. STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny. SWIPED OUT: an ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again. VULCAN NERVE PINCH: The taxing hand position required to reach all the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the arm reboot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control Key, the Command Key, the Return Key, and the Power On Key. GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. OHNOSECOND: That miniscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've made a BIG mistake. WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture of her orchid ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Anthony Coiro, 76, Port Orange, Florida "Law-Abiding Pervert" Faces Child Porn Raps Suspect: "I'm not a pedophile, I'm just a pervert." A Florida man suspected of possessing child pornography asserted that he was not a pedophile, instead telling police that he was a “law-abiding pervert,” according to records. As investigators were executing a search warrant last month at his residence, Anthony Coiro, 76, admitted that he looked at “crazy” pornography, a practice that he anticipated could lead to contact by law enforcement. Cops searched Coiro’s home in Port Orange, a city just south of Daytona Beach, after initially receiving a tip from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. A search of Coiro’s e-mail account had turned up “numerous images and videos of depictions of sexual performance by a child,” according to a Volusia County Sheriff’s Office report. When investigators arrived to seize his computer equipment and electronic devices, Coiro was asked if he knew why they were there. “Because I look at porn on the Internet,” the retiree answered. Asked what kind of porn he looked at, Coiro replied, “crazy shit.” But Coiro wanted to make something clear: “I'm not a pedophile, I'm just a pervert." He also described himself as a “law-abiding pervert.” Despite those protestations, Coiro reportedly also told police he was guilty of possessing illicit images of children. After a subsequent examination of Coiro’s computer, investigators found more than 4000 photos and videos depicting child pornography, prompting Coiro’s arrest Tuesday on 52 felony counts of possessing child pornography. Pictured in the above mug shot, Coiro is locked up in the county jail, where he is being held without bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Helen Re: Outgoing mystery stuff Dear Webby, Norton keeps alerting me that WINTOOLS.EXE is attempting to access the internet. It is listed as Medium Risk. Since I don't know what they are, I have come to the master to ask if I should permanently block them or if they are useful and should be allowed. Thanks once again for you help! Helen Dear Helen If medium risk (or any risk) stuff is trying to get from your machine out onto the Internet, then obviously your machine is infected with them. I don't use Norton because it doesn't stop stuff like that from coming in in the first place. Try running Spybot-Search&Destroy, update it to it's newest version, and see if that will find those things. To me they sound a lot more like malicious spyware than viruses, and just want to report your bra size, weight, visa numbers and stuff like that. Please let me know if Spybot-Search&Destroy catches them or if you need bigger ammunition for that. Have FUN! DearWebby "How long have you been driving without a tail light?" asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist. The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car and gave a long, painful groan and put his face in his hands. He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit. "Come on, now," he said, "you don't have to take it so hard. It isn't that serious." "It isn't?" cried the motorist. "Then you know what happened to my trailer and my boat and six cases of beer in the boat?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Drinking Glasses From Glass Bottles By DearWebby in 2010 In the 50's, when I was a wee widdle kid, we used postal twine, a cheap hemp string, tied to the top and bottom of a thumb-thick willow stick, like it was a fiddle string. Looping the string completely around the bottle, turned the fiddle stick into a bow. "Sawing" rapidly heated up the glass and splashing water on it cracked it. In the 60's we got lazy and used butcher twine and white gas. In the 70's they sold bottle cutting jigs, that let you roll a bottle in a V shaped trough with one end stop and a glass cutter. I improved on that by drilling two holes into each side of the trough and gluing marbles into three of them for smooth sliding bearings, and the glass cutter into the fourth hole. For the neck side end stop I just clamped a block of wood into the trough with a C-clamp. For the smoothest rotation I wrapped a strip of rubber cut from an old bicycle inner-tube a couple of times around the bottle and out through a hole in the bottom of the trough. That resulted in smooth and precise cuts and the 100th bottle was cut exactly the same as the first. To get the edge perfectly smooth I always used a torch. As long as you never stop and keep the torch moving around the top, it works quite well. Keep in mind, though, even with a perfect cut and a perfectly beaded edge, cut bottle glasses are just a goofy novelty and will be retired to a shelf or given away pretty soon. They are not comfortable for drinking, but if you use colored bottles, they can be used to make very pretty storm candles. Have FUN! DearWebby http://webby.com/humor/blog If I may add an update to that: Keep in mind that the glass cutter is not intended to cut through the glass. All you do is scribe or scratch a fine line. Then a gentle tap with the smooth handle of a wrench will crack the bottle exactly where you scribed it.
" target="_blank" >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOBqXYfYc4o"> All catching a snake
____________________________________________________ Mike was explaining to Judi about when he'd been a kid he fell through the ice on the pond. He went all the way under. Several panicked minuted passed when Mike couldn't find the hole get out and he was running out of air quickly. Judi put her hand to her mouth and interrupted: "Oh my God, did you get out ?" ____________________________________________________ Pilots the world over are known to have no sense of humor and to be web-illiterate. The opposite is known about aircraft mechanics. The following maintenance log excerpts seem to illustrate that: P = The problem logged by the pilot. S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid. S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. No's 1, 3, and 4 propellers lack normal seepage. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 FPM descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for. P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned that pilots have no sense of humor. ____________________________________________________
What a great idea! Solar powered glow in the dark bike lanes.
Arriving at his residence the professor told his housekeeper, "Sarah, I've invited three of my students to dinner tonight at 6:30, but I think I'll give them a half-hour's grace." "Professor, I'm as religious as the next person." Sarah said shaking her head, "But I think with my cooking, half an hour of grace is over-doing it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 17

1558 - Elizabeth I ascended the English throne upon the death
of Queen Mary Tudor. 

1603 - Sir Walter Raleigh went on trial for treason. 

1796 - Catherine the Great of Russia died at the age of 67. 

1798 - Irish nationalist leader Wolfe Tone committed suicide
while in jail awaiting execution. 

1800 - The U.S. Congress held its first session in
Washington, DC, in the partially completed Capitol building. 

1869 - The Suez Canal opened in Egypt, linking the
Mediterranean and the Red seas. 

1880 - The first three British female graduates received
their Bachelor of Arts degrees from London University. 

1903 - Russia's Social Democrats officially split into two
groups - Bolsheviks and Mensheviks. 

1913 - The steamship Louise became the first ship to travel
through the Panama Canal. 

1913 - In Germany, Kaiser Wilhelm banned the armed forces
from dancing the tango. 

1922 - Siberia voted for union with the U.S.S.R. 

1962 - Washington's Dulles International Airport was
dedicated by U.S. President Kennedy. 

1968 - NBC cut away from the final minutes of a New York
Jets-Oakland Raiders game to begin a TV special, "Heidi," on
schedule. The Raiders came from behind to beat the Jets 43-
32. 

1970 - The Soviet Union landed an unmanned, remote-controlled
vehicle on the moon, the Lunokhod 1. The vehicle was
released
by Luna 17. 

1973 - U.S. President Nixon told an Associated Press managing
editors meeting in Orlando, FL, "people have got to know
whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I'm not a
crook." 

1979 - Iran's Ayatollah Khomeini ordered the release of 13
female and black American hostages being held at the U.S.
Embassy in Tehran. 

1982 - The Empire State Building was added to the National
Register of Historical Places. 

1988 - Benazir Bhutto became the first woman leader of an
Islamic country. She was elected in the first democratic
elections in Pakistan in 11 years. 

1990 - A mass grave was discovered by the bridge over the
River Kwai in Thailand. The bodies were believed to be those
of World War II prisoners of war. 

1990 - The Soviet government agreed to change the country's
constitution. 

1997 - 62 people were killed by 6 Islamic militants outside
the Temple of Hatshepsut in Luxor, Egypt. The attackers were
killed by police. 

1997 - Mario Lemieux was voted into the NHL Hall of Fame. 

2006 - Sony's PlayStation 3 went on sale in the United
States. 

2010 - Reasearchers trapped 38 antihydrogen atoms. It was the
first time humans had trapped antimatter. 

2016  smiled.


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How to import bookmarks from FF to Edge 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, November 16

______________________________________________________
Just received this picture from long time subscriber 
Master Chief Jim and his wife Cori 


Cori and I celebrating the Change of Flags at the Veterans
Day Program at our church. GOD BLESS AMERICA.  
Jim
______________________________________________________

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida woman passed out in stolen car in 
Nocatee with drugs, baby on lap
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 15, in 

1885 Canadian rebel Louis Riel was executed for high treason.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) With donkeys, philosophers and politicians it is sometimes difficult to tell whether they are thinking really deep thoughts, or whether they have bottomed out. --- Socratex I like life. It's something to do. --- Ronnie Shakes ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ This preacher was looking for a good used lawn mower one day. He found one at a yard sale that Little Johnny happened to be manning. "This mower work, son?" the preacher asked. Little Johnny said, "Sure does -- just pull on the cord hard, though." The preacher took the mower home and when he got ready to mow he yanked and pulled and tugged on that cord. Nothing worked. It wouldn't start. Thinking he'd been swindled, he took the mower back to Little Johnny's house. "You said this would work if I pulled on the cord hard enough." "Well," Johnny said, "you need to cuss at it sometimes." The preacher was aghast. "I've not done that in years!" "Just keep yanking on that cord, Preacher. It'll come back to you." ______________________________________________________ Anni suggested a book for sam to read to enhance their relationship. It's entitled, 'women are from venus, men are wrong' ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Amanda Marie Ray, 29, Jacksonville, Florida Jacksonville woman passed out in stolen car in Nocatee with drugs, baby on lap Amanda Marie Ray, 29, is charged with driving on a suspended license, possession of drug paraphernalia, grand theft auto, possession of heroin and child neglect, SJSO said. Deputies were notified that Ray was asleep in the front seat of a car at a Shell station in Nocatee at 40 Settlement Drive, near Nocatee and Crosswater parkways. A deputy saw the infant on Ray's lap. The deputy ran the tag on the vehicle and found that the tag did not belong on the vehicle and that the vehicle was actually reported stolen out of Kentucky and Ray was the suspect, SJSO said. Drug paraphernalia, including new and used syringes, were found inside the vehicle. The Florida Department of Children and Families allowed a family member to take custody of the infant. Ray was booked into the St. Johns County Jail on bonds totaling $11,000, SJSO said. Deputies found the woman sleeping inside her car at a Nocatee Shell station -- with a baby in her lap and syringes in the car. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Jerry Re: Import bookmarks from FF to Edge Dear Webby, Is there a way to transfer all bookmarks from Firefox to windows 10 Edge, without having to transfer each item on the list. Jerry Dear Jerry Few people would do that, because most consider FF more advanced and more secure. However, if you really want to do that, keep in mind that EDGE has no direct way to import FF bookmarks. It is not that advanced yet. They got IE working, and some say Chrome too. There is an extremely tedious way to do it, that apparently does work, but the easiest way is to import them into Internet Explorer, close IE, open EDGE, Settings, and import them from IE to EDGE. Have FUN! DearWebby Ole and Lena lived on a lake in Northern Minnesota. It was near the begin of winter. Ole asked Lena if she would walk across the frozen lake to the general store to pick him up some tobacco. She asked for some money, but he told her to put it on their tab. So she walked across, got the tobacco and walked back. Then she asked Ole why he didn't send her with any money. He said, "I vasn't goin' to send a dollar ven I vasn't sure how tick de ice vas."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Pumpkin Puree By Judy Pariser S. [185 Posts, 177 Comments] Someone left a big pumpkin at the curb with their garbage, and I picked it up during one of my walks. I did roast pumpkin before, but I remembered how hard it was to cut up the pumpkin. However, I saw a recipe for how to roast a whole pumpkin, and that's what I did today. I have plenty of puree for breads, muffins, soup, smoothies, and even baby food! Someone left a big pumpkin at the curb with their garbage, and I picked it up during one of my walks. I did roast pumpkin before, but I remembered how hard it was to cut up the pumpkin. However, I saw a recipe for how to roast a whole pumpkin, and that's what I did today. I have plenty of puree for breads, muffins, soup, smoothies, and even baby food! Prep Time: 5 minutes Cook Time: 60-90 minutes Total Time: 1 to 1 1/2 hours Yield: Depends on size of pumpkin Source: Shared on Facebook Homemade Pumpkin Puree Ingredients: 1 pumpkin* olive oil * I used a large pumpkin, and it came out fine. The recipe recommended small, "sugar pumpkins." Steps: Rub the pumpkin lightly with olive oil. Homemade Pumpkin Puree Line a pan with foil. This will catch any drips. Roast the pumpkin at 400 degrees F. You don't have to preheat the oven. This will take 60-90 minutes. It's done when a fork pierces very easily. Let cool. Cut the pumpkin in half. Scoop out the seeds and stringy stuff. I saved the seeds, and composted the stringy stuff. Separate the meat from the skin. Process the pumpkin meat in batches in the food processor. Put in 1 or 2 cup portions. Refrigerate or freeze.
All About that Bass - yes, that kind of bass
____________________________________________________ A hillbilly dragged his protesting son to a new school which had just opened in a nearby village. When they arrived, he took his son to see the teacher. "Howdy," said the hillbilly. "This here's my son, Arthur. Now what kind of learnin' are you teachin'?" "Oh, all the usual subjects," said the teacher, nodding at the boy. "Reading, writing, arithmetic." "What's this?" interrupted the father. "Arith....arith... what did you say?" "Arithmetic, Sir," said the teacher, "instruction in algebra, geometry,and trigonometry." "Trigonometry!" cried the delighted hillbilly. "That's what my boy needs. He's the worst darn shot in the family!" ____________________________________________________ In a physics lab course, which involved light, electricity and magnetism, one requirement of the course was to read the week's experiment before coming to class. At one lab session the instructor wanted to see how many people had actually done so: "What are the two types of light?" he asked. The lab fell silent until one wise young man raised his hand and said, "Uhhh, Miller and Bud?" ____________________________________________________ In Alaska, it is legal to shoot bears. However, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited. ____________________________________________________
An amazing artist. I wish he was still alive and I could afford him!
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days. Finally his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him. "So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home. "Great," Little Johnny replied. "Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother. "Yeah, Daddy really liked it," exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, "especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 16
1776 British troops captured Fort Washington during the
American Revolution. 

1885 Canadian rebel Louis Riel was executed for high treason.


1915 Coca-Cola had its prototype for a countoured bottle
patented. The bottle made its commercial debut the next year.


1933 The United States and the Soviet Union established
diplomatic relations for the first time. 

1952 In the Peanuts comic strip, Lucy first held a football
for Charlie Brown. 

1966 Dr. Samuel H. Sheppard was acquitted in his second trial
of charges he had murdered his pregnant wife, Marilyn, in
1954. 

1969 The U.S. Army announced that several had been charged
with massacre and the subsequent cover-up in the My Lai
massacre in Vietnam on March 16, 1968. 

1973 Skylab 3 carrying a crew of three astronauts, was
launched from Cape Canaveral, FL, on an 84-day mission. 

1973 U.S. President Nixon signed the Alaska Pipeline measure
into law. 

1981 A vaccine for hepatitis B was approved. The vaccine had
been developed at Merck Institute for Therapeutic Research. 

1985 Colonel Oliver North was put in charge of the shipment
of HAWK anti-aircraft missiles to Iran. 

1988 Estonia's parliament declared that the Baltic republic
"sovereign," but stopped short of complete independence. 

1997 China released Wei Jingsheng, a pro-democracy dissident
from jail for medical reasons. He had been incarcerated for
almost 18 years. 

1998 In Burlington, WIsconsin, five high school students,
aged 15 to 16, were arrested in an alleged plot to kill a
carefully selected group of teachers and students. 

1998 It was announced that Monica Lewinsky had signed a deal
for the North American rights to a book about her affair with
U.S. President Clinton. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court said that union members could
file discrimination lawsuits against employers even when
labor contracts require arbitration. 

1999 Chrica Adams, the pregnant girlfriend of Rae Carruth,
was shot four times in her car. She died a month later from
her wounds. The baby survived. Carruth was sentenced to a
minimum of 18 years and 11 months in prison for his role in
the murder. 

2000 Bill Clinton became the first serving U.S. president to
visit Communist Vietnam. 

2001 The movie "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone"
opened in the U.S. and U.K. 

2004 A NASA unmanned "scramjet" (X-43A) reached a speed of
nearly 10 times the speed of sound above the Pacific Ocean. 

2016  smiled.


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Controlling two or more computers from one keyboard 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesnday, November 15

Thank you, Moe!!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
UL-Lafayette student who made up story of being 
beaten, robbed of wallet and hijab facing charges
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 15, in 

1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that
became known as Pikes Peak. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything. --- Kurt Vonnegut (1922 - 2007) A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of. --- Burt Bacharach (1928 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Sometimes you are not in control of your right foot !! Prove for yourself, whether you are in control of your right foot. It's worth a try... While sitting at your desk make clockwise circles with your right foot. While doing this, draw the number "6666" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction..... to counter clockwise ______________________________________________________ Toward the end of our senior year in high school, we were required to take a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim, Rescue Anne, to practice. My group's model was legless to allow for storage in a carrying case. The class broke into groups to practice. As instructed, one of my classmates gently shook the doll and asked "Are you all right? " He then put his ear over the mannequin's mouth to listen for breathing. Suddenly he turned to the instructor and exclaimed, "She said she can't feel her legs!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Libtard Muslim Student, 18, Lafayette, Louisiana UL-Lafayette student who made up story of being beaten, robbed of wallet and hijab facing charge Lafayette Police said the student is now facing a charge of filing a false report. Lafayette Police Department spokesman Karl Ratcliff confirmed the charge, WWL-TV reported. No explanation was given for why the police would not immediately release the woman's name. There also was no further information regarding the case, Ratcliff said, including why she admitted to fabricating the story of the attack. A University of Louisiana at Lafayette student admitted Thursday to making up a story about being attacked by two men, one reportedly wearing a "Trump" hat, who yelled ethnic slurs at her and then stole her wallet and hijab head covering, according to Lafayette Police. The woman, identified only as an 18-year-old of Middle Eastern descent, had initially told police the attack happened about 11 a.m. Wednesday on Smith Street near campus — a story quickly picked up by the national news outlets, sparking a social media firestorm. Lafayette Police spokesman Officer Karl Ratcliff said the woman admitted to fabricating the story after police began to question her about key details. "There were a lot of things that didn't make sense," he said, commenting that it was unusual that no one else witnessed an attack during a school day so close to campus. Ratcliff said the woman offered no explanation for lying. "That's only one that she can answer," he said. Ratcliff said the woman might now face charges herself related to filing a false police report. "We don't take this lightly, and it's made national headlines now," he said. "...There will be consequences." The woman's claim of being attacked was reported online Thursday morning by all major Democrat paid news organization in Louisiana and all Dumbocrat news outlets, including The New York Times, The Huffington Post and ABC News. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Neil Re: Control two computers from one keyboard Dear Webby, KVM software I have used this software in the past with win xp and win 7 http:// www.stardock.com/products/multiplicity/ The program networks over your local internet connection. It is not the only program to do this but it is the easiest to install. Install the program on the slave (2nd computer) first, then on the main computer. You not only share the controls but can copy from one computer's clip board and paste on the other's, drag and drop files and will set up audio and videos to stream either way. The free version controls only two computers, the paid version controls up to nine. Cost is $19.95 USD, and the license will transfer if you replace one of the computers. Everything in the interface is point and click so even non technical people can use it. This link has a short video to see what it is all about Multiplicity Neil Thanks Neil! Have FUN! DearWebby Here is an old Bonehead Award that is too good to be forgotten: The award goes to the head of women's studies at Bowling Green State University in Ohio, Dr. Kathleen Dixon When Richard Zeller, a professor of sociology, retired after being barred from teaching a course on political correctness, Dr. Dixon explained the school's position: ''We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech.''
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Rubber Gloves Last Longer By Litter Gitter [190 Posts, 622 Comments] Instead of keeping my rubber gloves in the kitchen drawer, I hang them on the stove, using magnets. That is where they stay until I use them again, which is two or three times a day. Since I started doing this, I have noticed that my rubber gloves last a lot longer.
how real men shoot skeet
____________________________________________________ The boss of a major manufacturing facility was complaining in a staff meeting one day, that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning, he went to a local sign shop, bought a small sign that read, "I am the Boss!" and taped it to his office door. Later that day, when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that read, "Your wife called. She said she did not authorize that sign." ____________________________________________________ At the construction site of a new church, the contractor stopped to chat with one of his workmen. "Paddy," he asked casually, "didn't you once tell me that you had a brother who was a bishop?" "That I did, sir." "And you are a bricklayer! It sure is a funny old world. Things in life aren't divided equally, are they?" "No, that they ain't sir," agreed Paddy, as he proudly slap- ped the mortar along the line of bricks. "My poor brother is such a klutz, he couldn't lay a brick to save his life!" ____________________________________________________
Reflections in puddles of rain.
One workman asks another, "How long have you been working here?" The other one replies, "Since they threatened to fire me."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 15
1806 Explorer Zebulon Pike spotted the mountaintop that
became known as Pikes Peak. 

1864 Union Gen. William T. Sherman and his troops began their
"March to the Sea" during the U.S. Civil War. 

1867 the first stock ticker was unveiled in New York City. 

1889 Brazil's monarchy was overthrown. 

1901 Miller Reese patented an electrical hearing aid. 

1902 Anarchist Gennaro Rubin failed in his attempt to murder
King Leopold II of Belgium. 

1920 The League of Nations met for the first time in Geneva,
Switzerland. 

1926 The National Broadcasting Co. (NBC) debuted with a radio
network of 24 stations. The first network radio broadcast was
a four-hour "spectacular." 

1940 The first 75,000 men were called to Armed Forces duty
under peacetime conscription to prepare for WWII. 

1965 The Soviet probe, Venera 3, was launched from Baikonur,
Kazakhstan. On March 1, 1966, it became the first unmanned
spacecraft to reach the surface of another planet when it
landed on Venus. 

1966 The flight of Gemini 12 ended successfully as astronauts
James A. Lovell and Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin Jr. splashed down
safely in the Atlantic Ocean. 

1969 In Washington, DC, a quarter of a million protesters
staged a peaceful demonstration against the Vietnam War. 

1985 Britain and Ireland signed an accord giving Dublin an
official consultative role in governing Northern Ireland. 

1986 A government tribunal in Nicaragua convicted American
Eugene Hasenfus of charges related to his role in delivering
arms to Contra rebels. He was sentenced to 30 years in prison
and was pardoned a month later. 

1986 Ivan F. Boesky, reputed to be the highest-paid person on
Wall Street, faced penalties of $100 million for insider
stock trading. It was the highest penalty ever imposed by the
SEC. 

1988 The Palestine National Council, the legislative body of
the PLO, proclaimed the establishment of an independent
Palestinian state at the close of a four-day conference in
Algiers. 

1992 Richard Petty drove in the final race of his 35-year
career. 

1993 A judge in Mineola, NY, sentenced Joey Buttafuoco to six
months in jail for the statutory rape of Amy Fisher. Fisher
was serving a prison sentence for shooting and wounding
Buttafuoco's wife, Mary Jo. 

1995 Texaco agreed to pay $176 million to settle a race-
discrimination lawsuit. 

1999 Representatives from China and the United States signed
a major trade agreement that involved China's membership in
the World Trade Organization (WTO). 

2000 Three police officers from the Rampart division of the
Los Angeles police department were convicted on several
counts of conspiracy to obstruct justice. One other officer
was acquitted. The case was the first major case against the
anti-gang unit. 

2005 In Amiens, France, Isabelle Dinoire became the first
person to undergo a partial face transplant. She had been
attacked by a dog earlier in the year. 

2006 Andy Warhol's painting of Communist Party Chairman Mao
Zedong sold for $17.4 million. At the same auction "Orange
Marilyn" sold for $16.2 million and "Sixteen Jackies" sold
for $15.6 million.

2016  smiled.


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Two computers, one keyboard, one monitor 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, November 14

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
2 Jersey Shore men took a taxi to rob house, 
then stiffed driver
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 14, in 

1832 The first streetcar went into operation in New York
City, NY. The vehicle was horse-drawn and had room for 30
people. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles. --- Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read "Unique Breakfast" so he walked in and sat down. The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted. "What's your Unique Breakfast?" he asked inquisitively. "Baked tongue of chicken!" she proudly replied. "Baked tongue of chicken?... baked tongue of chicken! Do you have any idea how disgusting that is? I would never even consider eating anything that came out of a chicken's mouth!" he fumed. Undaunted, the waitress asked, "What would you like then?" "Just bring me some scrambled eggs," the man replied. ______________________________________________________ Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being an all male combat force, they decided to request coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend. The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that arrangements could be made to send over a dozen of their most trustworthy students. The Captain hesitated, then said, "Would it also be possible to send a dozen or so of the other kind ?" ______________________________________________________ From FB Thanks to Jim for this picture: ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kenneth Burke, 46, and Timothy Foote, 38, Ocean Township, New Jersey 2 Jersey Shore men took a taxi to rob house, then stiffed driver Deal police said they arrested two men who took a taxi to burglarize a house in town and then refused to pay the driver when they drove back to an apartment in Asbury Park with the stolen goods. Kenneth Burke, 46, and Timothy Foote, 38, of Ocean Township, called for a taxi to a home on Norwood Avenue in Deal on Friday night, said Deal police Sgt. Brian Egan. Egan said they instructed the taxi driver to wait outside before they returned a short time later with a television set and some liquor bottles. He said the driver then took them to an apartment in Asbury Park, where they got out without paying the fare. The driver called Asbury Park police reporting the beat fare and the suspicious activity of the customers, Egan said. After being alerted by Asbury Park police at 10:31 p.m., Deal officers checked the house and determined it had just been burglarized, he said. Burke and Foote were charged with burglary, conspiracy to commit burglary, criminal trespass and theft. They were being held in the Monmouth County jail in Freehold on $20,000 bail each. The stolen items were returned to the homeowner, Sgt. Egan said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Ron Re: Second Audio for two computers Dear Webby, Is there a way to connect two computers to one keyboard and one monitor and one stereo? I want to use an old clunker to bring in digital audio and play it on the big stereo that I have connected to the main machine. The only time the klunker needs a keyboard and monitor is for getting the streaming digital audio started or the station changed. There must be a way to do that without wasting money and space on a second monitor and keyboard! Any help would be appreciated. Ron Dear Ron All you need is a KVMA switch (keyboard, Video, Mouse, Audio) Dalco has them currently for $30 http://dalco.com Try IOGEAR GCS72U 2-Port KVM Switch with Audio There is a bit of a problem, though. The audio might stop on the klunker if you click the focus to the new machine. That is not a problem of the switch, but of Windows on the old machine. You might have to use the klunker just for downloading and saving the music, the new machine networked to it and playing the music from the old machine's harddrive. If you have the machines networked, that is no problem at all. Have FUN! DearWebby By the time the sailor pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded with a proprietor, "or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant -- an Air Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Navy man assured him, "I'll take it." The next morning the sailor came down to breakfast bright- eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Navy guy. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the sailor explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Not-So Spanish Omelet By Benetta [254 Posts, 144 Comments] This is an adjusted version of the Spanish omelet. It makes for a hearty meal, so it works well for a brunch when served with toast. Total Time: 45 minutes in total Yield: 2 servings Ingredients: 3 eggs, beaten cheese flavored smoked frankfurter medium sized potato ½ teaspoon dried sweet basil ¼ teaspoon grinded black pepper ¼ teaspoon Knorr Aromat Seasoning or ordinary salt grated cheddar cheese to taste cooking spray Steps: Boil the potato until tender. Drain the potato and allow to cool for 5 minutes. Peel and cut into thin slices. Boil the frankfurter for 5-6 minutes and drain. Allow to cool for 5 minutes and cut into thin slices. Mix the beaten eggs, basil, pepper and salt. Add the sliced potato and sliced frankfurter to the egg mixture. Spray a 6" frying pan with cooking spray. Add the mixture to the pan and over a medium heat, cook until golden brown on the one side. Use a spatula to flip it over. Sprinkle grated cheese on top of the omelet. Cook until the cheese has melted and the other side is golden brown, too. Slide onto a plate. Cut into slices and serve warm with toast.
Pizzalympics in Springfield, Missouri
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Dave for this one: Ontario Rules of the Road Regulations in the Ministry of Transportation of Ontario 2016 Handbook for drivers 1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident Ontario driver avoids using them. 2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation. 3. The faster you drive through a red light, the lower the chance of getting hit. 4. Warning! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in your being rear- ended. 5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially with Quebec plates. With no insurance, the other operator has nothing to lose. 6. Braking is to be done as hard and as late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles. 7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prevent other drivers from exiting or entering the freeway. 8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in Ontario during rush hour, especially on the 401. 9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that an Ontario driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot. 10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim. 11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. Ontario is the home of high-speed slalom-driving; thanks to the Department of Public Works, which puts deep pot-holes (like inverted ski moguls) in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert. 12. It is tradition in Ontario to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds before the light turns green. 13. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important to exit your vehicle thru the windshield right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger. 14. Remember that the goal of every Ontario driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary. 15. In Ontario, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite salute. This gesture should always be returned. 16. In Ontario the mandatory and required cell-phone is held up to your ear with the left hand to ensure that you do not inadvertently activate the turn signals and startle other drivers. 17. Razors, coffee or donuts are to be carried in the right hand, except when driving in Little Italy. The proper posture, for blending in, in Little Italy, is to talk with both hands while facing a real or imaginary rear seat passenger. 18. If you see a whole bunch of yellow or white stripes painted on the road, parallel to the road, they indicate that that locaton is a spot favored by suiciders. It is important to speed up as you approach them to help prevent more suicides from occurring there. 19) If there is a traffic jam due to an accident, immediately work your way over to the rescue lane and proceed to the scene of the accident at top speed. 20) If a driver is observed throwing nervous glances into his or her mirror or behind them, they must be flanked tightly and escorted to the far left lane so that they won't have their nervous breakdown on an exit and cause a traffic jam. Don't do this if the car is from Quebec, because it's driver may be used to less structured driving rules. Thank You, The Ministry of Transportation of Ontario ____________________________________________________ The young suitor was determined to win the heart of the girl he wanted to marry, in spite of her rejection of his proposals a number of times. He began what can only be called a "Campaigning" and sent her a small token of his affection every day for a month to her house. The plan was successful too -- the young lady fell in love with the mailman. ____________________________________________________
Reflections in puddles of rain.
Thanks to the folks from Erie for this one: The children and grandchildren of an elderly Jewish woman decided to send grandma on a cruise, so that she would not be too helpful during the pre-planning stage of a wedding.. Grandma boarded the ship and showed her ticket to the purser. He looked at it and said, "Oh, I see you have U.D." She replied, "U.D.? Voos is U.D.? He said,"U.D. is Upper Deck." She then went to the upper deck and showed her ticket to the purser there and he said, "I see that in addition to U.D., you also have O.C." Grandma replied, "O.C.? Voos is O.C.?" The purser said, "O.C. is an Outside Cabin." Grandma, needless to say, was delighted. She then showed her ticket to the cabin boy and he said, "Oh, I see that you also have B.I.B." "B.I.B.? Voos is B.I.B.?" asked grandma. The cabin boy answered, "B.I.B. is Breakfast In Bed." "Oh," she said; Mine children and grandchildren are vonderful." The next morning, bright and early, the staff came right into her room with trays of food for her breakfast in bed and she said, "F.U.C.K" Shocked, they said, "F.U.C.K? What do you mean F.U.C.K.?", to which she replied, "Yes, F.U.C.K. Foist U Could Knock."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 14
1832 The first streetcar went into operation in New York
City, NY. The vehicle was horse-drawn and had room for 30
people. 

1851 Herman Melville's novel "Moby Dick" was first published
in the U.S. 

1881 Charles J. Guiteau's trial began for the assassination
of U.S. President Garfield. Guiteau was convicted and hanged
the following year. 

1889 New York World reporter Nellie Bly (Elizabeth Cochrane)
began an attempt to surpass the fictitious journey of Jules
Verne's Phileas Fogg by traveling around the world in less
than 80 days. Bly succeeded by finishing the journey the
following January in 72 days, 6 hours and 11 minutes. 

1922 The British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) began
domestic radio service. 

1935 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed the
Philippine Islands a free commonwealth after its new
constitution was approved. The Tydings-McDuffie Act planned
for the Phillipines to be completely independent by July 4,
1946. 

1940 During World War II, German war planes destroyed most of
the English town of Coventry when about 500 Luftwaffe bombers
attacked. 

1951 The first telecast of a world lightweight title fight
was seen coast to coast. Jimmy Carter beat Art Aragon in Los
Angeles. 

1956 The USSR crushed the Hungarian uprising. 

1968 Yale University announced it was going co-educational. 

1969 Apollo 12 blasted off for the moon from Cape Kennedy,
FL. 

1969 During the Vietnam War, Major General Bruno Arthur
Hochmuth, commander of the Third Marine Division, became the
first general to be killed in Vietnam by enemy fire. 

1972 The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed above the 1,000
(1,003.16) level for the first time. 

1972 Blue Ribbon Sports became Nike. 

1973 Britain's Princess Anne married a commoner, Capt. Mark
Phillips, in Westminster Abbey. They divorced in 1992, and
Princess Anne re-married. 

1979 U.S. President Carter froze all Iranian assets in the
United States and U.S. banks abroad in response to the taking
of 63 American hostages at the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran. 

1983 The British government announced that U.S.-made cruise
missiles had arrived at the Greenham Common air base amid
protests. 

1988 Israeli President Chaim Herzog formally asked Prime
Minister Yitzhak Shamir to form a new government. 

1989 The U.S. Navy ordered an unprecedented 48-hour stand-
down in the wake of a recent string of serious accidents. 

1990 Simon and Schuster announced it had dropped plans to
publish Bret Easton Ellis novel "American Psycho." 

1991 After 13 years in exile Cambodian Prince Norodom
Sihanouk returned to his homeland. 

1994 U.S. experts visited North Korea's main nuclear complex
for the first time under an accord that opened such sites to
outside inspections. 

1995 The U.S. government instituted a partial shutdown,
closing national parks and museums while most government
offices operated with skeleton crews. 

2012 The game Candy Crush Saga was released as a mobile app
for smartphones. 

2016  smiled.


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Outlook mail program getting very slow 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, November 13

Tonight the full moon will be the closest and biggest one
since 1948. Take some pictures!



Click through for full size

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Parents of dead armed robber are mad his victim had a gun
and that the place he robbed was not a gunfree zone,
where only armed robbers are allowed to have guns.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 13, in 

1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured 
Montreal. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them. --- Johann von Neumann (1903 - 1957) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Cards offering used textbooks for sale are posted on the college notice board at the beginning of each semester. One read: "Introduction to Psychology, $8, never used." The card was signed, "Must sell." The next day a note had been added: "Good price. Are you sure it's never been used?" Signed, "Prospective buyer." Below in a different hand was: "Positive!" Signed, "Professor who graded his exam." ______________________________________________________ Billy Bob and Jethro decide to go ice fishing. After arriving at the lake early in the morning, they cut two holes in the lake and drop in their lines in the water. After fishing for a few hours, Billy Bob has caught dozens of fish while Jethro hasn't even gotten a bite. Jethro asks, "Billy Bob, what's your secret?" Billy Bob answers, "Mmoo motta meep da mmrms mmrm." Jethro asks, "What did you say?" Billy Bob answers, "Mmoo motta meep da mmrms mmrm." Jethro again asks, "What?" Billy Bob spits into his hand and says, "You gotta keep the worms warm!" ______________________________________________________ This time the picture should work! That is NOT a teleprompter. It's a bug catcher. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Temia Hairston and Michael Grace Sr Charlotte, North Carolina Parents of dead armed robber are mad his victim had a gun and that the place he robbed was not a gunfree zone, where only armed robbers are allowed to have guns. Michael Grace Jr, son of Temia Hairston and Michael Grace Sr., was shot and killed during an attempted armed robbery early Sunday morning. Police said Grace Jr and two other people tried to rob a Pizza Hut in the 3200 block of Freedom Drive. During the incident, an employee fired his own handgun and killed Grace Jr. Hairston said she learned of her son’s death on social media, and only got confirmation from police after contacting them first. The grieving mother said she has been left with dozens of questions about the situation that have thus far gone unanswered. “If there was to be a death, it was not the place of the employee at Pizza Hut. That is the place of law enforcement,” said Hairston. Hairston and Grace Sr acknowledged that their son was breaking the law by robbing the business, and said they definitely don’t condone what he did. “It was an act of desperation, but I do not believe that Michael would have hurt anyone,” said Hairston. They said Grace Jr had fallen on hard times and resorted to crime to provide for his own child. They also said their son used to work at the same Pizza Hut restaurant where the robbery happened. They maintain he never would have physically hurt anyone during the robbery. WBTV contacted the local restaurant and the Pizza Hut corporation public relations line. Neither have confirmed that Grace Jr has ever worked as an employee at the Freedom Drive Pizza Hut. CMPD officials have not confirmed the information either. The parents are angry that their son was shot and killed by an employee. They don’t believe the full story has been released to the public. “Why in the hell did this guy have a gun?” questioned Hairston about the employee who shot her son. She said her son was shot in the head, and she thinks the shooting may have even been personal, citing past conflicts Grace Jr had had with other employees at the restaurant. “This wasn’t a body shot. This was a head shot. My son was shot in the left side of his head just behind his ear. A headshot is personal,” said Hairston. Even though their son was in the process of committing a crime, the family thinks his death was undeserved and unjustified. “Even a criminal has a right to a degree,” said Grace Sr. The family said they want Pizza Hut to release more information about the situation and acknowledge that their son used to be a Pizza Hut employee. Pizza Hut previously released the following statement about the incident: "The local Pizza Hut franchisee is fully cooperating with the Charlotte Police Department as they continue their investigation, but want to stress that the security of its staff is of utmost concern. They are providing support to the team members involved to ensure their health and well-being following this incident. The employee involved in the shooting has been placed on a leave of absence following further review." ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Don Re: Slow Outlook Dear Webby, I see that, in this issue, you help a subscriber with a computer problem. I would be eternally grateful if you could find a solution to my problem. Here goes: Recently one of my family updated my computer. Now, when I am using the Inbox for Microsoft Outlook there is a long (4-5 seconds) pause in between the time I highlight an entry and the time it is activated and appears on the screen. Do you have any suggestions on how to speed things up? Thanks, Don Dear Don First, check the date/time on your machine. You are living in the past. That causes mail from you to get sorted in among yesterday's already taken care of mail, and is found only by accident. I don't allow Outlook within 20 feet of any computer here, so I don't know that much about Outlook problems. However, I would suggest that you clean out your INbox and either transfer mails to different other mailboxes, or dump them. The leaner you keep the INbox, the faster ANY mail program runs. Have FUN! DearWebby R E S U M E B O O - B O O S "Education: Curses in liberal arts, curses in computer science, curses in accounting." "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store." "I am a rabid typist." "Exposure to German for two years, but many words are not appropriate for business." "Proven ability to track down and correct erors." "Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer." Cover letter: "Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Shampoo as Hand Soap Refill By Monique [110 Posts, 181 Comments] I have an alternative to replace pricey hand wash pumps. I use value supermarket brands of shampoo instead! I buy the cheap shampoos from the supermarket. Store branded hand wash start at about £1 a bottle. To begin with I was buying 500g Asda value shampoo for 30p until I saw in Tesco that they have a litre bottle of value shampoo for just 40p. I refilled an old pump dispenser with the shampoo and added a few drops of Tea Tree oil for its antibacterial qualities. A shake and a stir and then it's good to go! I use this to wash my hands so I have a pump by each sink in my home. On one photograph you can see how much of the shampoo was used to fill up the pump dispenser. My bottle (that was part of a Xmas present) is a standard 300g. So my 40 pence shampoo bottle will refill the bottle well over three times! I also use the shampoo to hand-wash my special jumpers and on occasion, to wash my smalls.
And the Waltz Goes On (composed by Anthony Hopkins) directed by Andre Rieu
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Joann for this one: During my training as a medical-group receptionist, I was told never to recommend one of our doctors over another, but simply state who had available appointments. One day a woman came in and looked at me conspiratorially. "I'm a nurse," she whispered, "and I know the staff always knows which doctors are good and which aren't. Who do you think I should see?" Knowing my supervisor was listening close by, I tried to sound most professional. "Oh, I'm sorry," I replied. "I can't recommend any of our doctors." "Well, you must know!" she said, heading for the door. ____________________________________________________ Girlfriend: Two of the best things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie. Boyfriend: Oh? And which is this? ____________________________________________________
The story of a brave horse in the Marines during the Korean War.
Nancy was talking to her girlfriend....."My psychiatrist told me yesterday that the way to achieve true inner peace is to always finish what I start. I think I'm getting the hang of it-- So far today I've finished a bag of cheetos, a six-pack of beer, and the chocolate cake I baked for my mother's birthday party tomorrow."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 13

1775 During the American Revolution, U.S. forces captured
Montreal. 

1789 Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to a friend in which he
said, "In this world nothing can be said to be certain,
except death and taxes." 

1805 Johann George Lehner, a butcher in Wien (Vienna),
invented a recipe and called it the "frankfurter." The rest
of the world calls it a "Wiener"

1927 The Holland Tunnel opened to the public, providing
access between New York City and New Jersey beneath the
Hudson River. 

1933 In Austin, MN, the first sit-down labor strike in
America took place. 

1942 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt signed a measure
lowering the minimum draft age from 21 to 18. 

1956 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down laws calling for
racial segregation on public buses. 

1971 The U.S. spacecraft Mariner 9 became the first
spacecraft to orbit another planet, Mars. 

1982 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial was dedicated in
Washington, DC. 

1984 A libel suit against Time, Inc. by former Israeli
Defense Minister Ariel Sharon went to trial in New York. 

1986 U.S. President Ronald Reagan publicly acknowledged that
the U.S. had sent "defensive weapons and spare parts" to
Iran. He denied that the shipments were sent to free
hostages, but that they had been sent to improve relations. 

1991 Roger Clemens won his third Cy Young Award for the
American League. 

1994 Sweden voted to join the European Union. 

1997 Iraq expelled six U.N. arms inspectors that were U.S.
citizens. 

1998 Monica Lewinsky signed a deal with St. Martin's Press
for the North American rights to her story about her affair
with U.S. President Bill Clinton. 

2001 U.S. President George W. Bush signed an executive order
that would allow for military tribunals to try any foreigners
captured with connections to the terrorist attacks on the
United States on September 11, 2001. It was the first time
since World War II that a president had taken such action. 

2006 A deal was finalized for Google Inc. to acquire YouTube
for $1.65 million in Google stock. 

2009 NASA announced that water had been discoved on the moon.
The discovery came from the planned impact on the moon of
the
Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite (LCROSS). 

2016  smiled.


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Internet acronym vocabulary 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, November 12

On Sunday night Nov. 13-14, the full moon will be the 
closest and biggest one since 1948. Take some pictures!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida man with golf club smashes an occupied car
with his golf club
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 10, in 

1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules
Leotard at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the
designer of the garment that is named after him. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. ---Doctor Who Don't wear your glasses on a blind date. Your date willl look a lot better to you. --- Socratex Love is a form of temporary insanity curable only by marriage. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Scotty for this report: His neighbor took his wife to the doctor for a check up. The doctor examined her and said she seemed depressed. The doctor then asked about their sex life. She answered...it wasn't to great. The the doctor thought a moment, then told the man to increase it to at least three times a week. He then asked when? The doctor suggested that Monday, Wednesday, and Friday ought to do it. His neighbor then apparently paused a moment, and said, "That's alright doctor. I can bring her on Monday and Wednesday, but on Friday she'll have to take the bus ______________________________________________________ A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'Come fly the friendly skies'?" Joe answered the correct airline. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me which company bears the slogan, 'Just do it'?" And John answered, "Mom." ______________________________________________________ That is NOT a teleprompter. It's a bug catcher. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Adam L. Batie, 43, 3227 SE 122nd Terrace, Gainesville, Floriduh Florida man with golf club smashes an occupied car with his golf club A Gainesville man mistakenly thought he was making a show of force to a drug dealer when he clobbered another man's windshield with a golf club, Alachua County deputies reported. The victim told deputies he was driving his red Jeep in the 3200 block of Southeast 122nd Terrace to drop a woman off, an arrest report said. When he left, a Dodge Dakota pulled in front of him, blocking his path, and the Dakota's driver jumped out and smashed the Jeep's windshield with a golf club. In no uncertain terms, the golf club-wielding man told the other driver to leave the neighborhood, and continued whacking the Jeep's driver-side door, deputies said. Adam L. Batie, 43, of 3227 SE 122nd Terrace, was charged with criminal mischief and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, arrest records show. He was held at the Alachua County Jail Thursday morning in lieu of $20,000 bond. Batie told deputies he thought the Jeep's driver was trying to sell drugs to someone at his home, the report said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Myrna Re: Internet vocabulary Dear Webby, is there a place where I can look up what all the weird names and acronyms about Internet related stuff are about, but not pages and pages of technical jargon that will just get me even more confused? I want something that has just a brief sentence or two about each name. Thanks Myrna Dear Myrna Try http://www.matisse.net/files/glossary.html Have FUN! DearWebby A senior student in college reluctantly took a required psychology course. The first day, the professor commented on each student's major, trying to provoke a response. It was working. Some students became defensive. When it was the senior's turn, he told the professor that he was a music major. "So," asked my professor, "what does your father think of you wasting your education to study music." The clever senior shot back with, "He's just thankful that I didn't go into psychology."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Meringue By Abigail A. [22 Posts, 1,341 Comments] Surprisingly meringue is easy to make. Even better, a baked meringue travels well, unlike soft whipped topping. Meringue often requires the whites of the eggs that were used in the recipe, so there is no waste. The pie shown called for three egg yolks, and I made the meringue with the three whites. Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 5 minutes Total Time: 15 minutes Yield: Enough for 1 pie Ingredients: 3 egg whites 1/4 tsp salt 6 Tbsp powdered sugar Steps: Mix egg whites with salt, then turn up speed on mixer and and beat until whites are stiff and glossy, adding sugar a little at a time. This should be done when pie is set and just needs to be browned. Don't make it early or it will collapse. Remove pie and turn up oven temperature to 400* F. Cover entire top gently with meringue. Use a spatula to "spike" the top giving it the traditional peaked appearance. Put the pie back in the oven and brown. This will take just a few minutes so watch very carefully! The meringue will brown at the same time as the bottom of your pie. The picture shows how it looks when it is done.
baby laughs at bubbles
____________________________________________________ I stopped at a friends house the other day and found him stalking around with a flyswatter. When I asked if he had gotten any flies, he answered, "Yeah, 3 males and 2 females." Curious, I inquired as to how he could tell the difference. He answered, "3 were on a beer can and 2 were on the phone." ____________________________________________________ An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate. The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result. "This guy must have screwed up the settings," the off-duty officer thought. A week later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: each for not wearing a seat belt! ____________________________________________________
15 breathtaking views of the world.
One finds the most romantic people at home improvement centers. A friend was helping a couple purchase a new door for their home. After he asked what size they needed, the stumped husband yelled clear across the store to his wife in home supplies, "Honey, c'mon over here and see which one of these doors you can fit through!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 12

1799 Andrew Ellicott Douglass witnesses the Leonids meteor
shower from a ship off the Florida Keys. 

1840 Sculptor Auguste Rodin was born in Paris. His most
widely known works are "The Kiss" and "The Thinker." 

1859 The first flying trapeze act was performed by Jules
Leotard at Cirque Napoleon in Paris, France. He was also the
designer of the garment that is named after him. 

1892 William "Pudge" Heffelfinger became the first
professional football player when he was paid a $500 bonus
for helping the Allegheny Athletic Association beat the
Pittsburgh Athletic Club. 

1915 Theodore W. Richards, of Harvard University, became the
first American to be awarded the Nobel Prize in chemistry. 

1918 Austria and Czechoslovakia were declared independent
republics. 

1921 Representatives of nine nations gathered for the start
of the Washington Conference for Limitation of Armaments. 

1927 Joseph Stalin became the undisputed ruler of the Soviet
Union. Leon Trotsky was expelled from the Communist Party
leading to Stalin coming to power. 

1931 Maple Leaf Gardens opened in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
It was to be the new home of the Toronto Maple Leafs in the
National Hockey League (NHL). 

1933 In Philadelphia, the first Sunday football game was
played. 

1942 During World War II, naval battle of Guadalcanal began
between Japanese and American forces. The Americans won a
major victory. 

1944 During World War II, the German battleship "Tirpitz" was
sunk off the coast of Norway. 

1946 The first drive-up banking facility opened at the
Exchange National Bank in Chicago, IL. 

1948 The war crimes tribunal sentenced Japanese Premier
Hideki Tojo and six other World War II Japanese leaders to
death. 

1953 The National Football League (NFL) policy of blacking
out home games was upheld by Judge Allan K. Grim of the U.S.
District Court in Philadelphia. 

1954 Ellis Island, the immigration station in New York
Harbor, closed after processing more than 20 million
immigrants since 1892. 

1964 Paula Murphy set the female land speed record 226.37
MPH. 

1972 Don Shula, coach of the Miami Dolphins, became the first
NFL head coach to win 100 regular season games in 10 seasons.


1979 U.S. President Carter ordered a halt to all oil imports
from Iran in response to 63 Americans being taken hostage at
the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran on November 4. 

1980 The U.S. space probe Voyager I came within 77,000 miles
of Saturn while transmitting data back to Earth. 

1982 Yuri V. Andropov was elected to succeed the late Leonid
I. Brezhnev as general secretary of the Soviet Communist
Party's Central Committee. 

1984 Space shuttle astronauts Dale Gardner and Joe Allen
snared the Palapa B-2 satellite in history's first space
salvage. 

1985 In Norfolk, VA, Arthur James Walker was sentenced to
life in prison for his role in a spy ring run by his brother,
John A. Walker Jr. 

1987 The American Medical Association issued a policy
statement that said it was unethical for a doctor to refuse
to treat someone solely because that person had AIDS or was
HIV-positive. 

1990 Japanese Emperor Akihito formally assumed the
Chrysanthemum Throne. 

1991 In the U.S., Robert Gates was sworn in as CIA director. 

1995 The space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to
dock with the Russian space station Mir. 

1997 Four Americans and their Pakistani driver were shot to
death in Karachi, Pakistan. The Americans were oil company
employees. 

1997 The UN Security Council imposed new sanctions on Iraq
for constraints being placed on UN arms inspectors. 

1997 Ramzi Yousef was found guilty of masterminding the 1993
bombing of the World Trade Center. 

1998 Daimler-Benz completed a merger with Chrysler to form
Daimler-Chrysler AG. 

2001 American Airlines flight 587 crashed just minutes after
take off from Kennedy Airport in New York. The Airbus A300
crashed into the Rockaway Beach section of Queens. All 260
people aboard were killed. 

2001 It was reported that the Northern Alliance had taken
Kabul, Afghanistan, from the ruling Taliban. The Norther
Alliance at this point was reported to have control over most
of the northern areas of Afghanistan. 

2002 Stan Lee filed a lawsuit against Marvel Entertainment
Inc. that claimed the company had cheated him out of millions
of dollars in movie profits related to the 2002 movie
"Spider-Man." Lee was the creator of Spider-Man, the
Incredible Hulk and Daredevil. 

2013 A series of portraits of Lucian Freud by the British
painter Francis Bacon known as Three Studies of Lucian Freud
sold for $142.4 million at an auction in New York City. 

2013 In New York, it was announced that the new World Trade
Center was the tallest building in the United States. The
height was measured at 1,776 feet. The building was also the
fourth tallest building in the world at the time. 

2013 U.S. Airways and AMR reached an antitrust settlement
with the U.S. Department of Justice which would allow a
merger that would create the world's largest airline. 

2014 NATO commander Gen Philip Breedlove reported that
Russian military equipment and Russian combat troops had been
seen entering Ukraine in columns over several days. 

2014 The European Space Agency's Rosetta spacecraft used its
lander Philae to perform the first soft landing on a comet.
The comet was 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko. 

2016  smiled.


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How do you catch Mis-spellings in spam? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, November 11
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Floriduh man named ‘Shaquille O’Neal’ crashed car, 
stole veteran's wheelchair during police chase
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 10, in 

1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany
signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's
Day in the United States and Remembranc e Day in Canada.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at stake at the moment. --- Willis Player ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a Hell." Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is." ______________________________________________________ Andy came to work one day, limping something awful. One of his co-workers, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what happened. Andy replied, "Oh, nothing. It's just an old hockey injury that acts up once in a while." Josh, "Gee, I never knew you played hockey." Andy, "No I don't. I hurt it last year when I lost $100 on the Stanley Cup Play-Offs. I kicked the TV and broke my leg." ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Shaquille O’Neal Clemons, 21, Largo, Floriduh Largo man named ‘Shaquille O’Neal’ crashed car, stole veteran's wheelchair during police chase A Largo man, whose name is similar to that of a retired NBA star, is accused of stealing a disabled veteran’s wheelchair to get away from police after he crashed his car during a chase. Largo police say Shaquille O’Neal Clemons, age 21, tried to flee from officers on Oct. 25. Robert Druce, a veteran, witnessed the crash. He attempted to help Clemons, not knowing that was who police were looking for. Druce offered Clemons his wheelchair. “Saw the big wreck and then saw a guy helping a guy out of the car. His leg was broken or something. He fell down in the street, and I let him sit on my chair so he could drive up to the front by the store, so he could sit down on the sidewalk and not be laying in the street,” Druce said. “All of a sudden, I’m chasing my chair down the street.” Instead, Clemons tried to roll away to escape. “I couldn’t catch him,” Druce said. Officers say Clemons was driving a White Mercedes 250 near the area of 36th Street and Melody Lane by East Bay Drive. They tried to pull him over, but police say Clemons took off eastbound on East Bay Drive and then sideswiped a white car and a school bus. There were no kids on the bus. Detectives say Clemons then drove southbound on Belcher Road, where he crashed into two more vehicles at the intersection at Ulmerton Road. “It was pretty crazy. I didn’t even hear it really, until I was looking outside the window and seen everything,” Nina Peralta said. Peralta shot video of the crash on her phone. “I just remember seeing trucks everywhere and cars and police everywhere,” she said. Police say Clemons got into the wheelchair and then headed east on Ulmerton Road, trying to get away from officers. Druce, who suffered a stroke a year ago, says he tried to go after Clemons, but was too weak. A Pinellas Park police officer was in the area and was able to stop Clemons a few blocks away from the crash scene. Druce was able to get his chair back. “No good deed goes unpunished,” he said. One person involved in the crash was critically injured. Clemons was arrested on charges of driving with a suspended or revoked license, reckless driving with property damage and injury, and leaving the scene of a crash with property damage and injury. He has previously been arrested for fleeing and eluding, possession of hydromorphone hydrochloride, possession of marijuana, fleeing and eluding, and violation of probation for aggravated battery. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Fran Re: How do you catch Mis-spellings in spam Dear Webby, Yes, I too have seen all those mif-sbellinks in spam sneaking past my filters. How do I sto that? Fran Dear Fran In MailWasher you can use Regular Expressions. A handy one is the "OR" symbol: | You can for example tell it to look IN THE BODY (pull down selection), then in the second pull down select CONTAINS and then in the content put Vigor|vigar|vogir|vugor and so on. Every time one slips through, look what word they use, and add it. That of course is just one of almost a hundred operators you can use. In the second line you can select the FROM line, in the second selector pull down to BUT NOT IF and put gramma's address into the content part, and a pipe | and humor@webby.com as the second address. So, if any of the naughty words exist in the body, but the FROM address is NOT gramma's address, then it triggers the filter. You can selct what it does with that mail, for example delete it automatically, without even bothering to show it in the list. Until you get comfortable with making filters you can tell it to just flag it for deleting and give you the option to see if your filter is maybe too radical. After a while crafting good filters becomes a game. With MailWasher YOU will win every time. Have FUN! DearWebby A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams and wanted to know what he should do next. His mother suggested, "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?" He thought this was a great idea and arranged a date for the next weekend. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone. He moaned, "Oh, mom, the evening was a complete disaster." His mother said, "Why, didn't she come over?" And the young man said, "Oh, she came over, but she can't cook either."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Find Hidden Places to Store Things By Sandi/Poor But Proud [541 Posts, 2,300 Comments] If you have a door you seldom close like I do or even if you do close it, you can often find hidden storage places. I did this today to keep all my crochet thread and ribbon. I love shoe bags and this one is especially good as I can see what is in each pouch. Some are plastic, but flimsy, and others are sturdy, but made of solid fabric. This is the best of both. With these in here, I now have an empty tub to put in my storage closet for other things, and I just garnered a 4 square foot space on my floor. Recently, I moved everything home from storage to save $500.00 over the next 12 months. It's been a challenge to find spaces for things, but it's getting done. And if you think I am kidding don't look in the top shelves of all my kitchen cabinets, under my bathroom sink, or under the day bed. Seriously, don't. N-JOY!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
President Trump was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang." Hallo, President Trump" a heavily accented voice said. This is Archie, up 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada ey? I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on ey!" Well Archie,"President Trump replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?" "Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!" President Trump paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command." "Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "President Trump, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be Archie?", President Trump asked. "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor." President Trump sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke." Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, I'll be getting back to ya." Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Trump, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!" President Trump was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and ! 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call youse back." Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Trump! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war." I'm sorry to hear that" said President Trump. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's just no darn way we can feed two million prisoners."
Buster the Boxer
____________________________________________________ On a vacation in Texas Mike exhibited the exuberance of a tourist. At a diner, he and his brothers ordered cheeseburgers. When his meal arrived, the first thing Mike noticed was its size. "Wow," he exclaimed, "everything really IS bigger in Texas!" As he lifted the burger off the plate, his eyes met the cold stare of the 300-pound waitress and the 2 gallon water pitcher she carried. ____________________________________________________
Let's remember our USA Veterans on this special day.
Let's remember our Canadian Veterans on Remembrance Day.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 11

1620 The Mayflower Compact was signed by the 41 men on the
Mayflower when they landed in what is now Provincetown Harbor
near Cape Cod. The compact called for "just and equal laws." 

1831 Nat Turner, a slave and educated minister, was hanged in
Jerusalem, VA, after inciting a violent slave uprising. 

1851 The telescope was patented by Alvan Clark. 

1868 The first indoor amateur track and field meet was held
by the New York Athletic Club. 

1880 Australian outlaw and bank robber Ned Kelly was hanged
at the Melbourne jail at age 25. 

1887 Labor Activists were hanged in Illinois after being
convicted of being connected to a bombing that killed eight
police officers. 

1889 Washington became the 42nd state of the United States. 

1918 World War I came to an end when the Allies and Germany
signed an armistice. This day became recognized as Veteran's
Day in the United States. 

1918 Poland was reestablished shortly after the surrender of
Germany. 

1920 The body of an unknown British soldier was buried in
Westminster Abbey. The service was recorded with the first
electronic recording process developed by Lionel Guest and
H.O. Merriman. 

1921 The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier was dedicated at
Arlington Cemetery in Virginia by U.S. President Harding. 

1938 Kate Smith first sang Irving Berlin's "God Bless
America" on network radio. 

1940 The Jeep made its debut. 

1942 During World War II, Germany completed its occupation of
France. 

1946 The New York Knickerbockers (now the Knicks) played
their first game at Madison Square Garden. 

1952 The first video recorder was demonstrated by John Mullin
and Wayne Johnson in Beverly Hills, CA. 

1965 The government of Rhodesia declared its independence
from Britain. The country later became known as Zimbabwe. 

1966 The U.S. launched Gemini 12 from Cape Kennedy, FL. The
craft circled the Earth 59 times before returning. 

1972 The U.S. Army turned over its base at Long Bihn to the
South Vietnamese army. The event symbolized the end of direct
involvement in the Vietnam War by the U.S. military. 

1975 Civil war broke out when Angola gained independence from
Portugal. 

1981 Stuntman Dan Goodwin scaled the outside of the 100-story
John Hancock Center in Chicago in about six hours. 

1981 The U.S.S. Ohio was commissioned at the Electric Boat
Division in Groton, CT. It was the first Trident class
submarine. 

1984 The Reverend Martin Luther King Sr. died in Atlanta at
age 84. 

1984 U.S. President Ronald Reagan accepted the Vietnam
Veterans Memorial as a gift to the nation from the Vietnam
Veterans Memorial Fund. 

1984 Gary Coleman, at age 13, underwent his second kidney
transplant in Los Angeles. He had his first transplant at age
5. 

1986 Sperry Rand and Burroughs merged to form "Unisys,"
becoming the second largest computer company. 

1987 Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" was sold for a then record
53.9 million dollars in New York. 

1988 Police in Sacramento, CA, found the first of seven
bodies buried on the grounds of a boardinghouse. Dorothea
Puente was later charged in the deaths of nine people,
convicted of three murders and sentenced to life in prison. 

1990 Stormie Jones, the world's first heart-liver transplant
recipient, died at a Pittsburgh hospital at age 13. 

1991 The U.S. stationed its first diplomat in Cambodia in 16
years to help the nation arrange democratic elections. 

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin told U.S. senators in a
letter that Americans had been held in prison camps after
World War II. Some were "summarily executed," but others were
still living in his country voluntarily. 

1992 The Church of England voted to ordain women as priests. 

1993 Walt Disney Co. announced plans to build a U.S. history
theme park in a Virginia suburb of Washington. The plan was
halted later due to local opposition. 

1993 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Women's Memorial was
dedicated to honor the more than 11,000 women who had served
in the Vietnam War. 

1994 In Gaza, a suicide bomber detonated his explosives at an
Israeli military checkpoint killing three soldiers. 

1996 The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund unveiled "The Wall
That Heals." The work was a half-scale replica of the Vietnam
Veterans Memorial that would tour communities throughout the
United States. 

1997 The Eastman Kodak Company announced that they were
laying off 10,000 employees. 

1997 Roger Clemens (Toronto Blue Jays) became the third major
league player to win the Cy Young Award four times. 

1998 Jay Cochrane set a record for the longest blindfolded
skywalk. He walked on a tightrope between the towers of the
Flamingo Hilton in Las Vegas, NV. The towers are 600 feet
apart. 

1998 Israel's Cabinet ratified a land-for-peace agreement
with the Palestinians. 

2002 Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates pledged $100 million to
fight AIDS in India. 

2016  smiled.


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Mis-spellings in spam 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, November 10

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Burglar breaks into St. Petersburg apartment, 
steals cash, cooks and eats pizza
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 10, in 

1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the
Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after
the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine
Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day
is observed as the birth date of the United States Marine
Corps. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous, the sensible man hardly anything. --- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749 - 1832) There are people who, instead of listening to what is being said to them, are already listening to what they are going to say themselves. --- Albert Guinon One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you." --- George Carlin ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Lawyer: How do you feel about defense attorneys? Juror: I think they should all be drowned at birth. Lawyer: Well, then, you are obviously biased for the prosecution. Juror: Not quite true, sir. I think prosecutors should be incinerated at birth. ______________________________________________________ A young man took a city girl for a date at a fancy restaurant out past the suburbs. While studying the menu she asked, "What's filet mignon?" Thinking fast, her date replied, "It's pickled goat's liver. Why?" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Antionne David, 31, St. Petersburg, Floriduh Burglar breaks into St. Petersburg apartment, steals cash, cooks and eats pizza A St. Petersburg man is behind bars after he reportedly broke into a St. Pete apartment, stole cash and cooked and ate a pizza while inside. According to the affidavit, St. Pete police say Antionne David, 31, allegedly broke into a locked apartment at 450 5th Avenue North sometime between October 17th and October 18th. Police say David forced entry into the residence and once inside he took $35 cash, along with food. He reportedly cooked himself a pizza inside of the victim's microwave and ate it. Police found David's fingerprints on the pizza box and in several locations throughout the apartment. The victim and the suspect do not know each other personally. David is being held at the Pinellas County jail on $10,000 bond. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Elmar Re: Mis-spellings in spam Dear Webby, Why does spam nowadays have so many mis-spellings and garbled words in it ? Even the garbage language the kids use on their chats makes more sense. Elmar Dear Elmar The spammers know that we are using filters to get rid of their crap, and they are trying to sneak around those filters. Nobody with the smarts of a mashed potato buys from one of those spammers, but unfortunately there are enough idiots out there to make it profitable enough for the spammers to keep trying. Very few of the spam victims ever get what they paid for, but that does not seem to stop other bozos from believing spammers. Have FUN! DearWebby Nobody is perfect unless you are in love with them. Nobody is totally imperfect, unless you used to be in love with them.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reuse Coffee Creamer Containers for Storage I dislike grocery shopping, particularly in the wintertime. I get a head start during the summer. I watch for sales on staples. The more I buy now, the less I'll have to lug home in the sleet and snow. I mix my own laundry concoction, and really like it. I use ½ of a popular laundry detergent and ½ of a non chlorine fabric whitener/brightener. Often these powders are lumpy when I first buy them, and even lumpier after being on the shelf for a while. I measure equal amounts of these two into a plastic bucket, stir for a second, and then funnel the lot into clean and dried coffee creamer containers. I keep these filled containers in the laundry room, and at the kitchen sink, where I wash my dish towels in scalding water. (Tip within a tip: I don't use fabric softener on my dish towels. It tends to leave a film on glassware). The lumps do not reform in these plastic containers. I can dispense a little through the pour spout or remove the lid to measure a cup or so. This idea may not be practical for large families, but for a small crew, it should work well. Also, I stock up on wild bird seed. I transfer the contents of a 10 lb. bag of seed into these containers. When refilling my several feeders, it's much easier dispensing from these containers, rather than a 10 lb. bag. With a home made inner seal of foil, the seed will stay fresh and bug free.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. "We don't need anyone" they replied. "You can't afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone anytime anything." "We have two prospects that no one has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, you have a job." He was gone about two hours and returned and handed them two checks, one for $25,000.00 and another for $50,000.00. "How in the world did you do that" they asked. "I told you I'm the worlds best salesman, I can sell anyone anywhere anytime." "Did you get a urine sample?" they asked him. "What's that?" he asked. "Well, if you sell a policy over $20,000.00 the company requires a urine sample. Take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples." He was gone about 8 hours and they were fixing to close when in he walks in with two five gallon buckets, one in each hand. He sets the buckets down and reaches in his shirt pocket and produces two bottles of urine and sets them on the desk and says "Here is Mr.Brown's and this one is Mr.Smith's." "That's good" they said, "but what's in those two buckets?" "Well, I passed by the school house and they were having a state teachers convention, so I stopped and sold them a group policy!"
Photobombs
____________________________________________________ >From Friz We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the special was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. "Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs." "Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her. "You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" my wife asked incredulously. "I'll take the special." "How do you want your eggs?" "Raw and in the shell," my wife replied. She took the eggs home. ____________________________________________________
Video Clips From The Coolest One
____________________________________________________
Today on November 10
1775 The U.S. Marines were organized under authority of the
Continental Congress. The Marines went out of existence after
the end of the Revolutionary War in April of 1783. The Marine
Corps were formally re-established on July 11, 1798. This day
is observed as the birth date of the United States Marine
Corps. 

1801 The U.S. state of Tennessee outlawed the practice of
dueling. 

1871 Henry M. Stanley, journalist and explorer, found David
Livingstone. Livingston was a missing Scottish missionary in
central Africa. Stanley delivered his famous greeting: "Dr.
Livingstone, I presume?" 

1879 Western Union and the National Bell Telephone Company
reached a settlement over various telephone patents. 

1917 41 suffragists were arrested in front of the White
House. 

1919 The American Legion held its first national convention,
in Minneapolis, MN. 

1928 Michinomiya Hirohito was enthroned as Emperor of Japan. 

1951 Direct-dial, coast-to-coast telephone service began when
Mayor M. Leslie Denning of Englewood, NJ, called his
counterpart in Alameda, CA. 

1954 The Iwo Jima Memorial was dedicated in Arlington, VA. 

1957 102,368 people attended the San Francisco 49ers and Los
Angeles Rams game. The crowd was the largest regular-season
crowd in NFL history. 

1969 "Sesame Street" made its debut on PBS. 

1970 The Great Wall of China opened for tourism. 

1975 The U.N. General Assembly approved a resolution that
equated Zionism with racism. The resolution was repealed in
December of 1991. 

1975 The Edmund Fitzgerald, an ore-hauling ship, and its crew
of 29 vanished during a storm in Lake Superior. 

1976 The Utah Supreme Court gave approval for Gary Gilmore to
be executed, according to his wishes. The convicted murderer
was put to death the following January. 

1980 CBS News anchor Dan Rather claimed he had been kidnapped
in a cab. It turned out that Rather had refused to pay the
cab fare. 

1982 Soviet leader Leonid I. Brezhnev died of a heart attack
at age 75. He was suceeded by Yuri V. Andropov. 

1982 In Washington, DC, the Vietnam Veterans Memorial was
opened to visitors. 

1986 Camille Sontag and Marcel Coudari, two Frenchmen were
released by the captors that held them in Lebanon. 

1988 The U.S. Department of Energy announced that Texas would
be the home of the atom-smashing super-collider. The project
was cancelled by a vote of the U.S. Congress in Oct. 1993. 

1990 Chandra Shekhar was sworn in as India's new prime
minister. 

1993 John Wayne Bobbitt was acquitted on the charge of
marital sexual assault against his wife who sexually
mutilated him. Lorena Bobbitt was later acquitted of
malicious wounding of her husband. 

1993 The U.S. House of Representatives passed the Brady Bill,
which called for a five-day waiting period for handgun
purchases. 

1994 U.S. officials announced that it planned to stop
enforcing the arms embargo against the Bosnian government the
following week. The U.N. Security Council was opposed to
lifting the ban. 

1994 Iraq recognized Kuwait's borders in the hope that the
action would end trade sanctions. 

1995 Nigeria's military rulers hanged playwright Ken Saro-
Wiwa along with several other anti-government activists. 

1995 In Katmandu, Nepal, searchers rescued 549 hikers after a
massive avalanche struck the Himalayan foothills. The
disaster left 24 tourists and 32 Nepalese dead. 

1996 Dan Marino (Miami Dolphins) became the first quarterback
in NFL history to pass for more than 50,000 yards. (Florida) 

1997 WorldCom Inc. acquired MCI Communication Corporation. It
was the largest merger in U.S. history valued at $37 billion.


1997 A jury in Virginia convicted Mir Aimal Kasi of the
murder of two CIA employees in 1993. 

1997 A judge in Cambridge, MA, reduced Louise Woodward's
murder conviction to manslaughter and sentenced the English
au pair to time served. She had served 279 days in the death
of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. 

1998 At the White House, "The Virtual Wall" website
(www.thevirtualwall.org) was unveiled. The site allows
visitors to experience The Wall through the Internet. 

2001 The World Trade Organization approved China's
membership. 

2016  smiled.


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Tripod Substitute 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, November 9
Thank you, Arlene!

Looks like my prediction, that the people would vote not for
or against a candidate, but against the media, just like in
the Gore / Bush fight, came true again. Déjà vu all over
again.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Minnesota Woman On Meth Steals Squad Car After Arrest; 
120 mph High-Speed Chase Follows
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 9, in 

1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA.
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. --- Woody Allen (1935 - ) My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The Old Gas Station The service station trade was slow. The owner sat around, With sharpened knife and cedar stick Piled shavings on the ground. No modern facilities had they, The log across the rill Led to a shack, marked His and Hers That sat against the hill. "Where is the ladies restroom, sir?" The owner leaning back, Said not a word but whittled on, And nodded toward the shack. With quickened step she entered there But only stayed a minute Until she screamed, just like a snake Or spider might be in it. With startled look and beet red face She bounded through the door, And headed quickly for the car -- Just like three gals before. She missed the foot log -- jumped the stream, The owner gave a shout, As her pantyhose, down at her knees Caught on a sassafras sprout. She tripped and fell -- got up, and then in obvious disgust, Ran to the car, stepped on the gas, And faded in the dust. Of course we all desired to know What made the gals all do The things they did, and then we found The whittling owner knew. A speaking system he'd devised To make the thing complete, He tied a speaker on the wall Beneath the toilet seat. He'd wait until the gals got set, And then the devilish guy Would stop his whittling long enough To speak into the mike. And as she sat, a voice below Struck terror, fright and fear, "Will you please use the other hole? We're painting under here." ______________________________________________________ An out-of-work newlywed took a temporary job as a vacuum cleaner salesman to make ends meet. After 3 days of intensive training, the sales manager told him to go home and practice his pitch on his wife. The next morning, the manager asked the beginner how he did. "Well," the man said, "I did what you said, and after I finished, I asked my wife if she would buy the vacuum cleaner from me. She said, 'Yes.' Then I asked her, 'Why?' and she said, 'Because I love you'." ______________________________________________________ Wisconsin ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jennifer Hillard 35, Alexandria, Minnesota Minnesota Woman On Meth Steals Squad Car After Arrest; 120 mph High-Speed Chase Follows A 35-year-old Alexandria woman is in jail after she allegedly stole a squad car and led police on a high-speed chase Sunday evening. Alexandria police say officers and fire crews were dispatched at 6:41 p.m. Sunday to a fire alarm with visible smoke at an apartment on the 500 block of Broadway Street. Upon arrival, officers saw a small fire burning on the living room floor and quickly put out the fire using an extinguisher. There initially didn’t appear to be anyone inside the residence, but officers discovered the tenant, identified as Jennifer Hillard, entered through the ceiling tiles and was hiding inside the ceiling. Police say Hillard then fell through the ceiling tiles and into an adjoining laundry room. She was found with a methamphetamine pipe and lighter in her possession. She was then placed under arrest, handcuffed with her hands behind her back, and placed in the back seat of a squad car. As authorities continued to deal with the scene, Hillard managed to free one of her hands from the handcuffs and squeezed her way through the back sliding window that may have not been secured, gaining access to the front section of the squad car. She then drove off with the Alexandria squad car. A short time later, an officer with Osakis police intercepted Hillard as she was entering Osakis and began to pursue. Before and during the pursuit, Hillard reached speeds of over 120 mph. The pursuit ended on Beltline Road near Sauk Centre when a Minnesota State Trooper deployed stop sticks. Hillard is in custody at the Dakota County Jail pending a court appearance for charges of arson, theft of a motor vehicle, fleeing a peace officer, driving while impaired, possessing a controlled substance, reckless driving and speeding. Police say there were no injuries and damage to property, with the exception of the Alexandria squad car. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Friz Re: Tripod substitute Dear Webby, I forgot my tripod at home, but I have to as usual make all the pictures at the family gathering. What's a quick and cheap fix? I absolutely need something to help me beacuse I know I am too jittery to take candle light shots by hand without the ugly flash. I do have a remote release. Friz Dear Friz No Panic. Just get a sturdy zip-lock plastic bag, fill it two thirds full with sugar or salt or flour. Place the camera onto the bag. Wiggle it a bit so it sits well. You can put that bag onto any piece of furniture, or even onto a stepladder. The camera will be rock-solid and the pictures even sharper than when you use your tripod. If there is a drinker in the family, then the chances a re good that you can locate one fo those pretty Crown Royal bottle bags. That makes a really classy camera pedestal. Have FUN! DearWebby In Northern Minnesota, the game warden stopped a man leaving a lake with two buckets of fish. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?" The man said, "No, sir. These are my pet fish." "Pet fish?" the warden queried. "Yes, sir," the man explained. "Every night I take these fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. Then I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take 'em home." The game warden glared at the man and said, "That's impossible. Fish can't do that!" The man looked at the game warden for a moment and said, "Here, I'll show you. It really works." The man poured the fish into the lake and waited. After several minutes, the game warden looked at the man and said, "Well?" "Well, what?" the man asked. "When are you going to call them back?" the game warden prompted. "Call who back?" the man asked. "The FISH!" And the man said, "What fish?"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reuse Coffee Creamer Containers for Storage I dislike grocery shopping, particularly in the wintertime. I get a head start during the summer. I watch for sales on staples. The more I buy now, the less I'll have to lug home in the sleet and snow. I mix my own laundry concoction, and really like it. I use ½ of a popular laundry detergent and ½ of a non chlorine fabric whitener/brightener. Often these powders are lumpy when I first buy them, and even lumpier after being on the shelf for a while. I measure equal amounts of these two into a plastic bucket, stir for a second, and then funnel the lot into clean and dried coffee creamer containers. I keep these filled containers in the laundry room, and at the kitchen sink, where I wash my dish towels in scalding water. (Tip within a tip: I don't use fabric softener on my dish towels. It tends to leave a film on glassware). The lumps do not reform in these plastic containers. I can dispense a little through the pour spout or remove the lid to measure a cup or so. This idea may not be practical for large families, but for a small crew, it should work well. Also, I stock up on wild bird seed. I transfer the contents of a 10 lb. bag of seed into these containers. When refilling my several feeders, it's much easier dispensing from these containers, rather than a 10 lb. bag. With a home made inner seal of foil, the seed will stay fresh and bug free.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Have you ever noticed that good jokes always come back to you ? This one came back via Kristine: While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered that a tall boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school. "Yes," he replied. "When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "In 1957." "Why, you were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely and then asked, "What did you teach?"
Glacier on the move!
____________________________________________________ So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for: There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break, which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off! ____________________________________________________ While I was preaching in a church in Mississippi, the pastor announced that their prison quartet would be singing the following evening. I wasn't aware there was a prison in the vicinity and I looked forward to hearing them. The next evening, I was puzzled when four members of the church approached the stage. Then the pastor introduced them. "This is our prison quartet," he said, "behind a few bars and always looking for the key." ____________________________________________________
My favorite time of the year.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 9
1872 A fire destroyed about 800 buildings in Boston, MA. 

1906 U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt left for Panama to see
the progress on the new canal. It was the first foreign trip
by a U.S. president. 

1911 George Claude of Paris, France, applied for a patent on
neon advertising signs. 

1918 Germany's Kaiser Wilhelm II announced he would abdicate.
He then fled to the Netherlands. 

1923 In Munich, the Beer Hall Putsch was crushed by German
troops that were loyal to the democratic government. The
event began the evening before when Adolf Hitler took control
of a beer hall full of Bavarian government leaders at
gunpoint. 

1935 United Mine Workers president John L. Lewis and other
labor leaders formed the Committee for Industrial
Organization. 

1938 Nazi troops and sympathizers destroyed and looted 7,500
Jewish businesses, burned 267 synagogues, killed 91 Jews, and
rounded up over 25,000 Jewish men in an event that became
known as Kristallnacht or "Night of Broken Glass." 

1961 Major Robert White flew an X-15 rocket plane at a world
record speed of 4,093 mph. 

1961 The Professional Golfer's Association (PGA) eliminated
its "caucasians only" rule. 

1963 In Japan, about 450 miners were killed in a coal-dust
explosion. 

1963 In Japan, 160 people died in a train crash. 

1965 The great Northeast blackout occurred as several states
and parts of Canada were hit by a series of power failures
lasting up to 13 1/2 hours. 

1967 A Saturn V rocket carrying an unmanned Apollo spacecraft
blasted off from Cape Kennedy on a successful test flight. 

1976 The U.N. General Assembly approved ten resolutions
condemning the apartheid government in South Africa. 

1979 The United Nations Security Council unanimously called
upon Iran to release all American hostages "without delay."
Militants, mostly students had taken 63 Americans hostage at
the U.S. embassy in Tehran, Iran, on November 4. 

1981 U.S. troops began arriving in Egypt for a three-week
Rapid Deployment Force excercise. Somalia, Sudan and Oman
were also involved in the operation. 

1981 The Internation Monetary Fund approved a $5.8 billion
loan to India. It was the highest loan to date. 

1982 Sugar Ray Leonard retired from boxing. In 1984 Leonard
came out of retirement to fight one more time before becoming
a boxing commentator for NBC. 

1984 A bronze statue titled "Three Servicemen," by Frederick
Hart, was unveiled at the site of the Vietnam Veterans
Memorial in Washington, DC. 

1989 Communist East Germany opened its borders, allowing its
citizens to travel freely to West Germany. 

1990 Soviet President Mikhail S. Gorbachev signed a non-
aggression treaty with Germany. 

1992 Russian President Boris Yeltsin, visiting London,
appealed for assistance in rescheduling his country's debt,
and asked British businesses to invest. 

1998 A federal judge in New York approved the richest
antitrust settlement in U.S. history. A leading brokerage
firm was ordered to pay $1.03 billion to investors who had
sued over price-rigging of Nasdaq stocks. 

1998 PBS aired its documentary special "Chihuly Over Venice."


2004 U.S. First Lady Laura Bush officially reopened
Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House to
pedestrians.

2016  smiled.


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Phony VISA alert email 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuessay, November 8

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida teen charged with murder of his grandmother
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 8, in 

1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The
expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. The
journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of exploring
the Louisiana Purchase territory. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today. --- Laurence J. Peter It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. --- Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001) There is no monument dedicated to the memory of a committee. --- Lester J. Pourciau ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Boudreaux found Thibodeaux walking down the levee, looking really down in the dumps. Naturally, he asked Thibodeaux what the problem was. Thibodeaux told Boudreaux, "Well, me and Clothile done had our first fist fight last night." Boudreaux says, "Aw, dat's too bad. What y'all had a fight about?" Thibodeaux tells him, "Mais, I told her a joke about de Pope." Boudreaux says, "Mais, Thib, why did you do that? You knows dat Clothile is Catholic." Thibodeaux replies, "Yah, I knew dat, but I didn't know de Pope was too." ______________________________________________________ There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself? Think about it first before scrolling down for the answer. ______________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________ Answer: He is blind, not mute. He can talk and simply ask. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dylan Broughmanm, Jacksonville, Floriduh Florida teen charged with murder of his grandmother The scene that greeted police officers Oct. 10 when they arrived at a domestic disturbance call in East Arlington’s Cobblestone neighborhood was one of mayhem, according to the Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office report. Joyce Ann Courson, 69, was sitting in a puddle of blood in the hallway, her right eye split open as fist- and foot-sized holes filled nearby walls in the home on Ashridge Drive, the report said. It all started with her hiding her grandson’s beer, she was able to tell police. Courson’s 18-year-old grandson has been charged with murder after she succumbed to her injuries a week after being slugged repeatedly, according to police. Dylan Nicholas Broughman had initially been charged with aggravated battery, but the murder charge was added Thursday after the Medical Examiner’s Office ruled the death a homicide. Tracey Lynn Broughman, his mother, was briefly in tears Thursday morning after learning of the new charge as she stood in a home that bears the scars of the attack. Calling her mother “my best friend” who took care of them, she looked at holes kicked or punched in three walls near the kitchen and said she felt overwhelmed. “I am sick for the loss of my mother. I am sick for the loss of my son. I don’t feel he deserves to go to prison. I don’t feel in my heart that he meant to do this to the severity that he did,” Broughman said. The initial incident occurred just before 8 a.m. Oct. 10, according to the arrest report. Broughman was in the shower when Courson confiscated his beer. Her grandson became enraged when he couldn’t find his beer and began yelling, “It’s all your fault, everything is your fault!” she told police. From her hospital bed, Courson told them her grandson caved in chunks of the walls in her house and shoved her to the floor as he followed her into a hallway, the report said. That’s when he held her down and punched her in the face with his fist over and over again, then started kicking her. Dillon Ross, a 22-year-old roommate, said he had just gone to bed after his night job when he heard the argument, then some banging. He said the grandmother and grandson sometimes argued in the mornings, so he stayed out of it at first. “She took the beer and he just flipped out and I guess she wouldn’t tell him where she put it, so he started punching holes in the wall, then destroying the house pretty much and then blaming her,” Ross said. “I didn’t think anything of it until I heard this ridiculous crash. That’s when it was like this turned into something crazy. After the crash, I heard the grandmother screaming for help.” Ross said he ran into the foyer and found Courson on the floor, and the 18-year-old was gone. Officers searching the area found Broughman walking nearby on Kernan Boulevard and took him into custody. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Dorothy Re: phoney VISA alert Dear Webby, You might want to advise of the latest VISA scam in email. Thanks! Dorothy Will do. There is some scam-spam going around from some 2-bit crook claiming that your credit card has been used by another person, and that they would help you to get a refund. Actually, they just want to steal your VISA information. If you get that scam-spam, don't click on anything in that email and just delete it. Have FUN! DearWebby Thanks to Ardy for this one: NEWS FLASH! - Dubuque, Iowa - <><><> Iowa's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two local Iowa college students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today in Dubuque. <> Dubuque search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far, most of them dead, and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. <> The pilot and co-pilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Recipe: Sausage and Cabbage Stir-Fry By Sandy [135 Posts] Ingredients: 1 cup noodles uncooked 3/4 lb Polish sausage sliced 8 cups cabbage coarsely chopped 1 small onion 1 apple grated 1/2 tsp. caraway seed 1 Tbsp. brown sugar 2 Tbsp. cider vinegar 1/2 tsp. salt Directions: Cook noodles, drain and set aside. Cook sausage until brown. Remove from skillet. Add to the skillet the cabbage, onion, apple, caraway seed cooking until the cabbage is tender, about 7-10 minutes. Add brown sugar, vinegar and salt. Cover and cook over low heat for 5 minutes. Add sausage and noodles cooking until everything is hot. Source: friend By Sandy from Graettinger, IA Smoked farmer sausage works fine too, more taste, less fat. I save time by cubing an apple or two, half of a sugar cube size. Makes interesting tasty tidbits. Without the noodles, it makes a great veggie side dish. Have FUN! DearWebby
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald and forgetful, they don't recognize you.
bird bounces golf ball on concrete
____________________________________________________ A woman goes to the police station to report that her husband was missing. "Can you give me a description of him?" asked the officer. "He's short and bald and skinny and wrinkled and wears dentures," answered the woman. "Come to think of it, most of him was missing before he was...." ____________________________________________________ Catholic school test. Kids were asked questions about the Bible. Their answers apparently have not been retouched or corrected. 1. In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. 2. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on it in pears. 3. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. 4. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals. 5. Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah. 6. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles. 7. Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients. 8. The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments. 9. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple. 10. The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery. 11. Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol. 12. The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him. 13. David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. 14. Solomon, one of David's sons, slept with 300 wives and 700 porcupines. 15. When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta. 16. When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus with the manager. 17. Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption. 18. St. John the blacksmith dumped water on his head. 19. Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained, a man doth not live by sweat alone. 20. It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the tombstone off the entrance. 21. The people who followed the lord were called the 12 debacles. 22. The epistles were the wives of the apostles. 23. One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan. 24. St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage. 25. Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony. ____________________________________________________
Drunk birds in Austria.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 8
1793 The Louvre Museum, in Paris, opened to the public for
the first time. 

1805 The "Corps of Discovery" reached the Pacific Ocean. The
expedition was led by William Clark and Meriwether Lewis. The
journey had begun on May 14, 1804, with the goal of exploring
the Louisiana Purchase territory. 

1889 Montana became the 41st U.S. state. 

1895 Wilhelm Roentgen while experimenting with electricity
discovered the scientific principle involved and took the
first X-ray pictures. 

1910 William H. Frost patented the insect exterminator. 

1923 Adolf Hitler made his first attempt at seizing power in
Germany with a failed coup in Munich that came to be known as
the "Beer-Hall Putsch." 

1933 The Civil Works Administration was created by executive
order by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt. The
organization was designed to create jobs for more than 4
million unemployed people in the U.S. 

1942 The U.S. invaded Morocco and Algeria. 

1942 During World War II, Operation Torch began as U.S. and
British forces landed in French North Africa. 

1950 During the Korean conflict, the first jet-plane battle
took place as U.S. Air Force Lt. Russell J. Brown shot down a
North Korean MiG-15. 

1956 After turning down 18,000 names, the Ford Motor Company
decided to name their new car the "Edsel," after Henry Ford's
only son. 

1966 Ronald Reagan was elected governor of California. 

1979 The program, "The Iran Crisis: America Held Hostage",
premiered on ABC-TV. The show was planned to be temporary,
but it evolved into "Nightline" in March of 1980. 

1979 U.S. Senators John Warner (R-VA) and Mac Mathias (R-MD)
introduced legislation to provide a site on the National Mall
for the building of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. 

1980 Scientists at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in
California announced that they had discovered a 15th moon
orbiting the planet Saturn. 

1981 Egyptian President Hosni Mubarek asserted that Egypt was
"an African State" that was "neither East nor West". 

1985 A letter signed by four American hostages in Lebanon was
delivered to The Associated Press in Beirut. The letter,
contained pleas from Terry Anderson, Rev. Lawrence Jenco,
David Jacobsen and Thomas Sutherland to President Reagan to
negotiate a release. 

1990 U.S. President George H.W. Bush ordered more troop
deployments in the Persian Gulf, adding about 150,000
soldiers to the multi-national force fighting against Iraq. 

1991 The European Community and Canada imposed economic
sanctions on Yugoslavia in an attempt to stop the Balkan
civil war. 

1992 About 350,000 people rallied in Berlin against racist
violence. 

1993 Five Picasso paintings and other artwork were stolen
from the Museum of Modern Art in Stockholm, Sweden. The works
were valued at $52 million. 

1997 Chinese engineers diverted the Yangtze River to make way
for the Three Gorges Dam. 

2000 In Florida, a statewide recount began to decide the
winner of the 2000 U.S. presidential election. 

2000 Waco special counsel John C. Danforth released his final
report that absolved the government of wrongdoing in the 1993
siege of the Branch Davidian compound in Texas. 

2016  smiled.


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Are Yahoo lists safe? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, November 7

Thank you, Norm!!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Floriduh Highway Patrol stop reveals warrant for 
cocaine dealing charges
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 7, in 

1637 Anne Hutchinson, the first female religious leader in
the American colonies, was banished from the Massachusetts
Bay Colony for heresy. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Walking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage. --- Evan Esar (1899 - 1995) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ When I found this recipe, I thought it would be perfect for people like me, who are not sure how to tell when poultry is cooked thoroughly but not dried out. Give this a try. BAKED STUFFED CHICKEN 6-7 lb. chicken 1 cup melted butter 1 cup stuffing 1 cup uncooked popcorn salt/pepper to taste small plastic bag and duck tape Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush chicken well with melted butter, salt and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing. Put the popcorn into a small heavy duty plastic bag and seal it thoroughly with duck tape. Tape up the chest opening of the chicken with duck tape. Place in baking pan with the neck end toward the front of the oven. Listen for popping sounds. When the chicken blows the oven door open and the chicken flies across the room, it is done. And, you thought I couldn't cook ! ______________________________________________________ Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked: "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?" "Only a kiss a yard, " replied the smirking male clerk. "That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards." With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly. The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old lady standing nearby. "Grandma will pay the bill," she smiled. ______________________________________________________ From widelec.org ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Erne Jean Delva, 32, Princeton, Floriduh Floriduh Highway Patrol stop reveals warrant for cocaine dealing charges A traffic stop resulting in a minor pot bust snowballed for a Princeton man and landed him in county jail on felony cocaine dealing charges after the Florida Highway Patrol trooper who pulled him over discovered two outstanding bench warrants for the man’s arrest. The FHP trooper pulled over Erne Jean Delva, 32, in his “dark-colored sedan” driving southbound on U.S. 1 at mile marker 92, according to the trooper’s Nov. 2 incident report. The trooper wrote that he pulled the car over because it “hit the outside line” of the highway several times. When the trooper walked up to the driver’s side window, he “smelled a strong odor of burnt marijuana coming from within the vehicle.” When asked by the trooper if there was pot in the car, Delva replied that the car wasn’t his and he didn’t know what was in it. “During the search of the vehicle, I found a clear bag containing a green leafy substance inside a tobacco resealable pouch in the center console,” the trooper wrote. “Mr. Delva was placed under arrest for possession of marijuana.” The trooper conducted a computer search of Delva’s records, which revealed he had a bench warrant for sale of cocaine within 1,000 feet of a school and use of a two-way device to facilitate a felony. In addition to the cocaine charges, Delva was also booked on misdemeanor marijuana possession. He’s being held on a total bond of $106,000. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Mia Re: Yahoo Lists Dear Webby, I am subscribed to a few lists on Yahoo, and lately one after the other seemed to have been taken over by some hacker that sent out a message about a proxy-relay trojan and a password to use for getting information about getting back on. The mails had the usual Yahoo Groups sponsor ads on top, something I doubt that a hacker would leave in place, but the grammar in the message was definitely low class, which would point to a hacker. Below the weird message, there were the usual dozen ads abd links that normally are on those newsletters. Naturally I did not click on anything. I am worried though. Since these lists are in no way connected to each other, except that they are all ad suported freebie lists on Yahoo, does that mean Yahoo has been hacked ? How does that affect my Yahoo mail? If they can hack into the lists, can they get to my mail? Mia Yes, if a bunch of different lists were affected, then that would indeed indicate hacker activity. Yahoo mail may be a bit more reliable than hotmail, but it is not really something that anybody should consider as secure. It's mainly a toy for people, who want to disguise themselves. Just becasue Hillary and Huma used it, that does not mean it is secure. That is why their mails are all over the Internet. Your only defense there is toONLY use Yahoo mail for those lists, and never link to your proper email or anything, that might benefit a hacker. Just get an email address based on your ISP, or a Gmail address for your proper email. Have FUN! DearWebby Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that airplane." Esther always replied, "I know Morris, but that airplane ride costs 50 dollars, and ya know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars." One year Morris and Esther went to the fair and Morris said, "Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that airplane I might never get another chance." Esther replied, "Morris, that airplane ride costs 50 dollars, and ya know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars." The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you; but if you say one word it's 50 dollars." Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "By golly,I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't." Morris replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Esther fell out, but ya know, 50 dollars is 50 dollars."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Monster Doughnuts By lalala... [782 Posts, 103 Comments] 7 found this helpful If you are looking for a quick and inexpensive treat, give these monster doughnuts a try! They are perfect for a Halloween party or as a classroom treat! Ingredients: glazed ring doughnuts plastic vampire teeth chocolate chips Steps: Squeeze the plastic teeth shut and insert them into the center of the doughnuts. Push chocolate chips into the doughnuts for eyes.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Just A Question How come when you mix water and flour together, you get glue... and then you add eggs and sugar... and you get cake? Where did the glue go? NEED AN ANSWER? You know darned well where it went! The glue is what makes the cake... stick to your hips!
bird bounces golf ball on concrete
____________________________________________________ A man who suffered from impotence went to see a doctor. The doctor gave him a revolutionary new injection made from monkey glands, which worked perfectly. Nine months and two weeks later, his wife had a baby. When the nurse came out of the delivery room with the news, he asked, "Is it a boy or a girl?" "We won't know until your kid comes down off the chandelier." ____________________________________________________ From Rikka: Dear Webby Please if you can send me or post again that oldie but goody Hawaiian good luck sign story? Many thanks Rikka Dear Rikka, it's a bit long, but here it is: The Letter from Gramma: The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is and I didn't notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus! Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, "For the love of GOD! GO! GO! Jesus Christ, GO!" What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus! Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my own horn a few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a "sunny beach"... I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant. He said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing...why, even he was enjoying this religious experience! A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. So, I waved to all my sisters and brothers, grinning of course, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks! Grandma ____________________________________________________
Drunk birds in Austria.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 7
1637 Anne Hutchinson, the first female religious leader in
the American colonies, was banished from the Massachusetts
Bay Colony for heresy. 

1811 The Shawnee Indians of chief Tecumseh were defeated by
William Henry Harrison at the Battle of Wabash (or
(Tippecanoe). 

1837 In Alton, IL, abolitionist printer Elijah P. Lovejoy was
shot to death by a mob (supporters of slavery) while trying
to protect his printing shop from a third destruction. 

1874 The Republican party of the U.S. was first symbolized as
an elephant in a cartoon by Thomas Nast in Harper's Weekly. 

1876 The cigarette manufacturing machine was patented by
Albert H. Hook. 

1893 The state of Colorado granted its women the right to
vote. 

1895 The last spike was driven into Canada's first
transcontinental railway in the mountains of British
Columbia. 

1916 Jeanette Rankin of Montana became the first woman
elected to the U.S. Congress. 

1917 Russia's Bolshevik Revolution took place. The
provisional government of Alexander Kerensky was overthrown
by forces led by Vladimir Ilyich Lenin. 

1918 During World War I, a false report through the United
Press announced that an armistice had been signed. 

1932 "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century" was broadcast for the
first on CBS Radio. 

1940 The middle section of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge in
Washington state collapsed during a windstorm. The suspension
bridge had opened to traffic on July 1, 1940. 

1944 U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt became the first
person to win a fourth term as president. 

1965 The "Pillsbury Dough Boy" debuted in television
commercials. 

1967 Carl Stokes was elected the first black mayor Cleveland,
OH, becoming the first black mayor of a major city. 

1967 The U.S. Selective Service Commission announced that
college students arrested in anti-war demonstrations would
lose their draft deferments. 

1973 The U.S. Congress over-rode President Nixon's veto of
the War Powers Act, which limits a chief executive's power to
wage war without congressional approval. 

1983 A bomb exploded in the U.S. Capitol. No one was injured.

1985 The Colombian army stormed the country's Palace of
Justice. The siege claimed the lives of 100 people, including
11 Supreme Court Justices. The Palace had been seized by
leftist guerrillas belonging to the April 19 Movement. 

1987 Tunisia's president Habib Bourguiba was overthrown. He
had been president since the country's independence in 1956. 

1988 Sugar Ray Leonard knocked out Donnie LaLonde. 

1989 L. Douglas Wilder won the governor's race in Virginia,
becoming the first elected African-American state governor in
U.S. history. 

1989 David Dinkins was elected and become New York City's
first African-American mayor. 

1989 Richard Ramirez, convicted of California's "Night
Stalker" killings, was sentenced to death. 

1991 Magic Johnson (NBA) announced that he had tested
positive for the virus that causes AIDS, and that he was
retiring from basketball. 

1991 Pro- and anti-Communists rallies took place in Moscow on
the 74th anniversary of the Bolshevik Revolution. 

1991 Actor Paul Reubens, a.k.a. Pee Wee Herman, pled no
contest to charges of indecent exposure. Reubens had been
arrested in Sarasota, FL, for exposing himself in a theater. 

1995 In a Japanese courtroom, three U.S. military men
admitted to the rape of a 12-year-old Okinawan schoolgirl. 

1999 Tiger Woods became the first golfer since Ben Hogan in
1953 to win four straight tournaments. 

2000 Hillary Rodham Clinton made history as the first
president's wife to win public office. The state of New York
elected her to the U.S. Senate. (New York) 

2001 The new .BIZ domain extension was officially launched. 

2001 After a 16-month stoppage the Concorde resumed flying
commercially.

2016  smiled.


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Dye sub printers 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, November 6

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Naked man arrested after driving with wires attached 
to genitals
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 7, in 

1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap. 
See More of what happened on this day in history.
______________________________________________________
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ “If Trump is elected, it makes me sad, but I have no choice,” commented Miley Cyrus to the Rolling Stones magazine this week. “I could never live under a president like him, it would be like living under the Soviet dictatorship of Hitler.” --- Miley Cyrus Canada has always welcomed all big tax payers. Even a silly screecher, who does not know the difference between the Communist Soviets and Hitler's Hillarian National Socialism, is quite welcome. It is only the great men who are truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great. --- Havelock Ellis (1859 - 1939) Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. --- H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Bea for this one: For the second time in a row, I was forced to impose on the woman with whom I car pooled to get our children to soccer practice. I phoned and explained that my husband had the car again, so I wouldn't be able to take my turn. A few minutes before she was due to pick up my son, my husband showed up. Since it was too late for me to call and say I could drive after all, I asked my husband to hide the car in the garage and to stay inside. I also explained to my son that he shouldn't mention anything about his father's whereabouts. Unfortunately, my husband forgot and was in front of our house chatting with a friend when my carpool partner arrived. When my son returned from practice, I asked him if she had noticed. "Yes," he replied, "she asked me which of the two men in front of the house was my father. But don't worry. I told her I didn't know." ______________________________________________________ Wanting to lose weight, a woman placed a picture of a shapely, pinup model in her refrigerator to remind her of her goal. The reminder worked like a charm as the woman discovered that she had lost ten pounds in the first month of using this method. The downside to this was that her husband spent so much time going into the fridge to look at the picture that he ended up gaining fifteen pounds! ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kurt Jenkins, 56, BOYNTON BEACH, Floriduh Naked man arrested after driving with wires attached to genitals A South Florida man was caught naked driving slowly through a neighborhood with electrical wires protruding from his penis, police said. News outlets report Kurt Jenkins, 56, was charged with lewd and lascivious exhibition, exposure of sexual organs and resisting a law enforcement officer without violence. According to Boynton Beach police, a witness said on Monday that the naked man, identified as Jenkins, drove by him, gesturing for him to look toward Jenkins' groin area. That's when the witness saw an electronic device with wires attached to Jenkins' penis. The witness said Jenkins asked him to get inside, but he declined and called police. Arriving officers said Jenkins refused to comply their commands. Jenkins was taken to the ground and handcuffed, police said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Lorne Re: Dye Printers Dear Webby, I heard that dye printers print better colors than inkjet. How much do those cost? Lorne If you have to ask how much they cost, then a dye sublimation printer is not the printer for you. The individual dots produced are better, but the prints are fuzzy, compared to a laser printer. The prints look about the same as old style chemical process photos. Laser and even inkjet printers produce sharper images. Dye printers are usually just special purpose printers for ID badges, drivers licenses, textile, and so on. They are made to print specific media in a specific size, like drivers licenses. You can get them in sizes to print heat transfer pages for t-shirts or cups. Some even print directly onto plastic cups. The dye ribbons are very expensive compared to laser toner. Unless you have a very specific need like ID cards or T- shirts, you are better off getting a decent laser printer. Have FUN! DearWebby A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It´s too hot. It´s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin´ ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone,"the guide said. "Unfortunately, it´s being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it. Perhaps we can come back tomorrow." "We can´t be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouted. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can´t kiss the stupid stone." "Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you´ll have the same good fortune." "And I suppose you´ve kissed the stone," the woman scoffed. "No, ma´am," the frustrated guide said, "but I´ve sat on it."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Crescent Pizza Rolls By tiffanytallent1981 [15 Posts, 11 Comments] I think it is safe to bet that almost everyone loves pizza! And if you are looking for a great tasting variation, these rolls are the perfect choice. They make fabulous appetizers for events, parties, and reunions. I actually prepare one package and split them between dinner one night, and lunch the next day. They are just as good reheated in the microwave, so nothing has to be wasted if there are leftovers. Prep Time: 10 Cook Time: 10-12 minutes Total Time: 20-25 minutes Yield: 8 Source: Pinterest Ingredients: 1 pkg. crescent rolls 24 pieces pepperoni 4 mozzarella string cheese sticks Marinara, ranch, or other dipping sauce 1 sprinkle garlic powder 1/8 cup grated Parmesan cheese cooking spray (for some pans) Steps: Cut string cheese sticks in half. Lay out the crescent roll triangles. Add 3-4 slices of pepperoni to each triangle, slightly overlapping. Place them along the base of the triangle, going toward the middle. Add a cheese stick half on top of each set of pepperoni. Preheat oven to 350-375 degrees F. You will bake them at the temperature given in the crescent roll directions. Every oven is different and mine works better at 350 F. Use cooking spray if you feel it is needed. I actually did not have any with this current batch. The rolls still practically slid off of my pan! Fold the crescent corners around the pepperonis and cheese sticks, leaving no holes. If you have any holes, the cheese will melt out and burn on the pan. Sprinkle garlic powder on top of the rolls. Place in the oven for 5-8 minutes. The darker you want the bottoms of the rolls, the longer you leave them in the oven. Take them out and flip each roll over. Place back in the oven for 4-6 minutes. The time depends on how dark you want them. I try to leave mine for 6 minutes the first time and 3-4 minutes after they have been flipped. Take them out of the oven and sprinkle the Parmesan cheese on top. Serve with your choice of dipping sauce. Don't forget the Pizza Sauce! I prefer smearing pizza sauce on first, then pepperoni or salami or ham, a paper-thin slice of onion, a very light sprinkle of garlic salt, Oregano and Cilantro (Italian Parley), then a thin slice of Mozarella. Works OK rolled up or left flat for a square pizza. Whichever way you do it, don't forget the Pizza Sauce! DearWebby
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A 97 year old man goes into his doctor's office and says, "Doc, I want my sex drive lowered." "Sir", replied the doctor, "You're 97. Don't you think your sex drive is all in your head?" "You're darned right it is!" replied the old man. "That's why I want it lowered about 2 feet!"
Pentatonix - Hallelujah
____________________________________________________ A guy walks into a bar and approaches the barman, "Can I have a pint of Less, please?" "I'm sorry sir," the barman replies, looking slightly puzzled, "I've not come across that one before. Is it a spirit?" "I've no idea," replies the guy, "The thing is, I went to see my doctor today and he told me that I should drink 'Less'." ---------- hmmm Might be profitable to print some bottle or can labels for a beer called LESS and stick them onto the cheapest beer you can buy, and sell your LESS beer at a decent mark-up. A lot of people will buy it just as conversation pieces. ____________________________________________________ A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning. He said, "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind. The pastor shouted out "CROSS". Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, 'THE OLD RUGGED CROSS." The pastor hollered out "GRACE." The congregation began to sing "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound." The pastor said "POWER." The congregation sang "THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD." The pastor said "SEX." The congregation fell in total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything. Then all of a sudden, from way in the back of the church, a little 87 year old grandmother stood up and began to sing "PRECIOUS MEMORIES." ____________________________________________________
People are AWESOME! The best of the month of October, 2016.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 6
1789 Father John Carroll was appointed as the first Roman
Catholic bishop in the United States of America. 

1832 Joseph Smith, III, was born. He was the first president
of the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day
Saints. He was also the son of Joseph Smith, the founder of
Mormonism. 

1851 Charles Henry Dow was born. He was the founder of Dow
Jones & Company. 

1860 Abraham Lincoln was elected to be the sixteenth
president of the United States. 

1861 Jefferson Davis was elected as the president of the
Confederacy in the U.S. 

1869 The first official intercollegiate football game was
played in New Brunswick, NJ. 

1894 William C. Hooker received a patent for the mousetrap. 

1903 Philippe Bunau-Varilla, as Panama's ambassador to the
United States, signed the Hay-Bunau-Varilla Treaty. The
document granted rights to the United States to build and
indefinitely administer the Panama Canal Zone and its
defenses. 

1913 Mohandas K. Gandhi was arrested as he led a march of
Indian miners in South Africa. 

1917 During World War I, Candian forces take the village of
Passchendaele, Belgium, in the Third Battle of Ypres. 

1923 Jacob Schick was granted a patent for the electric
shaver. 

1935 Edwin H. Armstrong announced his development of FM
broadcasting. 

1952 The first hydrogen bomb was exploded at Eniwetok Atoll
in the Pacific Ocean. 

1961 In the Saraha Desert of Algeria, a natural gas well
ignited when a pipe ruptured. The flames rose between 450
feet and 800 feet. The fire burned until April 28, 1962 when
a team led by Red Adair used explosives to deprived the fire
of oxygen. (Devil's Cigarette Lighter) 

1962 The U.N. General Assembly adopts a resolution that
condemned South Africa's racist apartheid policies. The
resolution also called for all member states to terminate
military and economic relations with South Africa. 

1965 The Freedom Flights program began which would allow
250,000 Cubans to come to the United States by 1971. 

1973 NASA's Pioneer 10 spacecraft began photographing
Jupiter. 

1975 King Hassan II of Morocco launches the Green March, a
mass migration of 300,000 unarmed Moroccans, that march into
the nation of Western Sahara. 

1977 39 people were killed when an earthen dam burst, sending
a wall of water through the campus of Toccoa Falls Bible
College in Georgia. 

1983 U.S. Army choppers dropped hundreds of thousands
leaflets over northern and central Grenada. The leaflets
urged residents to cooperate in locating any Grenadian army
or Cuban resisters to the U.S-led invasion. 

1984 For the first time in 193 years, the New York Stock
Exchange remained open during a presidential election day. 

1985 Leftist guerrillas belonging to Columbia's April 19
Movement seized control of the Palace of Justice in Bogota. 

1986 Former Navy radioman John A. Walker Jr., was sentenced
in Baltimore to life imprisonment. Walker had admitted to
being the head of a family spy ring. 

1986 U.S. intelligence sources confirmed a story run by the
Lebanese magazine Ash Shiraa that reported the U.S. had been
secretly selling arms to Iran in an effort to secure the
release of seven American hostages. 

1989 In the hopes of freeing U.S. hostages held in Iran, the
U.S. announced that it would unfreeze $567 million in Iranian
assets that had been held since 1979. 

1990 About 20% of the Universal Studios backlot in southern
California was destroyed in an arson fire. 

1991 Kuwait celebrated the dousing of the last of the oil
fires ignited by Iraq during the Persian Gulf War. 

1995 Mark Messier scored his 500th NHL goal. 

1996 Michael Jordan scored 50 points for the 29th time in his
NBA career. 

1998 The Islamic militant group Hamas exploded a car bomb
killing the two attackers and injuring 21 civilians. 

1999 Australian voters rejected a referendum to drop
Britain's queen as their head of state. 

2001 In London, the "Lest We Forget" exhibit opened at the
National Memorial Arboretum. Fred Seiker was the creator of
the 24 watercolors. Seiker was a prisoner of war that had
been forced to build the Burma Railroad, the "railway of
death," for the Japanese during World War II. 

2001 In Madrid, Spain, a car bomb injured about 60 people.
The bomb was blamed on Basque separatists. 

2001 Ten people were executed in Beijing, China. The state
newspaper of China said that all of the people executed were
robbers and killers aged 20-23. 

2016  smiled.


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How to get animated GIFs to move 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, November 5

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
BLM Pennsylvania mother kills 17-month-old son and texts
video of boy's body to his father with laughing emoji
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 5, in 
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when
he was captured before he could blow up the English
Parliament. Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th
in Britain to celebrate his attempt to blow up all the
members of Parliament and King James I. 

1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement
at L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The test of courage comes when we are in the minority. The test of tolerance comes when we are in the majority. --- Ralph W. Sockman ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A reporter from Chicago was visiting an old colleague, who now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town. "I don't see how you do it," the reporter said. "How can you drum up interest in the news when everybody in town knows what everybody else is doing?" "Sure they know," the editor said, "but they read the paper to see who got caught at it." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Kati for this one: The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 a.m. He did his best for a while, but at about 4 a.m. he went to sleep. He awakened to find the officer of the day standing before him. Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this smart young man kept his head bowed for another moment and looked upward and reverently said, "A-a-a-men!" ______________________________________________________ Yesterday's peacock picture was from Noella From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Fred An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Christian Clark 21, McKeesport Pennsylvania Pennsylvania mother kills 17-month-old son and texts video of boy's body to his father with laughing emoji A Pennsylvania woman killed her 17-month-old son and texted a video of the boy's body to his father along with a "laughing" emoji, cops say. Christian Clark was arguing with the boy's dad Tuesday when she sent him texts including, "Ya kids ain't safe here I don't want them here" and "I'm killing them" — followed by the emoji. Clark, 21, sent a video of a girl and then a boy face down on a bed, according to the Post-Gazette. "Ahh, look, Angel is still alive and sweating your son on the other hand is not even breathing," the mother said in the video, according to an affidavit obtained by the newspaper. "I wish I could keep the camera still." "Send it to the cops post it to fb idc anymore you ruined my life," her boyfriend Andrew Price Jr. replied, according to the Post-Gazette. The little boy was found unresponsive in the McKeesport home and died later that night, the newspaper reported. The little girl seen in the video is alive. Clark admitted smothering the little boy, and she was taken into custody on charges including criminal homicide. Authorities recovered many disturbing messages from her boyfriend's cellphone. "I don't want these kids here," one of her texts read, according to the newspaper. "Ya kids aint safe here i don't want them here ... Answer me or im going to jail for child endangerment." Later she wrote, "I really snapped this time." "Try to wake him up I said hold him," Price said, according to the paper. "Its okay im dialing 911," she responded. "You need to if he dead," Mr. Price wrote. Ms. Clark was being held in the Allegheny County Jail on Wednesday night without the possibility of posting bail. A preliminary hearing is scheduled for Nov. 16. BLM Black Lies & Murder ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Fiona Re: Animated Gif's not animated Dear Webby, Whenever I save an animated picture from the net and then look at it with my paint program it just sits there and does not move. What am I doing wrong? Fiona Dear Fiona Your paint program shows you ONE picture of the many that make up the animation. Just use your browser to show it. If your animation is for example on the C: drive in the PIX directory, and is called anim123.gif, then type into the browser address bar: C:\pix\anim123.gif and it will instantly show in full motion. Have FUN! DearWebby A Newfie came out West and some friends took him along for curling. As luck would have it, he won an Ice auger for ice fishing. A lot of beer later, when they got kicked out of the curling club, the Newfie wants to go ice fishing right then and there. It's about as foggy outside as it is in his head, after all those beers, but his keen eyes spot some ice not far away. Proudly carrying his nice, shiny, red auger, he stumbles in that direction and decides that he'll give it a go. He carefully takes the safety cover off the point. You may think thasch easchy, but if you hol yourschelf upright with the schilly Ische auger, every time you pull the plaschtik thingamagig off the bottom point, you fffall down! Musch easier if you doing while lying down. Finally he starts drilling. Suddenly, a loud voice booms out at him, "There's no fish in here." The Newfie looks all around him in the fog, but can't see anyone. He decides to ignore the voice and carries on drilling. Again, the voice booms out, "I've told you, there's no fish in here!" He looks up again but there's still no sign of anyone so he returns to his task. "Stop it!" shouts the now very angry sounding voice, "You'd better pack up your stuff and get out of here or there'll be trouble." "Who are you" shouts the drunk guy, "you don't scare me!" There was a big, thundering roar and the the loud voice again: "I'm the manager of this hockey rink, and I'm starting up the Zamboni!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Pet Urine Stains from Hardwood Floors By Margaret P. [1 Comment] I too have tried so many tricks including vinegar water mixture to remove the dog urine stains and odor from the hardwood floor of our 30 year old home. Finally it was my husband who bought me a Hoover FloorMate Cleaner 64oz from the nearby shop here in Canada. It really worked well. You too may try once.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
On their anniversary night, the husband sat his wife sat down in the den with her favourite magazine, turned on the soft reading lamp, slipped off her shoes, patted and propped her feet and announced that he was preparing dinner all by himself. "How romantic!" she thought. Two-and-a-half hours later, she was still waiting for dinner to be served. She tiptoed to the kitchen and found it a colossal mess. Her harried husband, removing something indescribable from the smoking oven, saw her in the doorway. "Almost ready!" he vowed. "Sorry it took me so long -- I had to refill the pepper shaker." "Why, honey, how long could that have taken you?" "More'n an hour, I reckon. Wasn't easy stuffin' it through those dumb little holes."
bison fight at Yellowstone campgrounds
____________________________________________________ An elderly lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse, broke her leg. As the doctor put a cast on her leg, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several months later, the doctor took off the cast. "Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady. "Yes, sure" he replied. "Thank goodness!" she said. "I'm sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe with that stupid cast on my good leg!" ____________________________________________________ Pat and Mike were once very good friends. One day when they were still on speaking terms, Pat went over to Mike's house to visit, but when he got there, Mike was out. Mike's wife was holding the ferociously fighting baby who had different plans, and trying to put up curtains at the same time. "Pat," she said, "I'm glad you came. Would you mind holding the baby while I finish the curtains?" A few minutes later, Pat came in and said to Mike, "How ya doin, Mike?" Said Mike, "I'm holding my own". That's when the battle started. ____________________________________________________
Bird parents taking care of their bird babies.
____________________________________________________
Today on November 5
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when
he was captured before he could blow up the English
Parliament. Guy Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th
in Britain to celebrate his attempt to blow up all the
members of Parliament and King James I. 

1844 In California, a grizzly bear underwent a successful
cataract operation at the Zoological Garden. 

1872 In the U.S., Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for
attempting to vote in the presidential election. She never
paid the fine. 

1895 George B. Selden received the first U.S. patent for an
automobile. He sold the rights for $200,000 four years later.


1911 Italy officially annexed Tripoli. 

1935 The game "Monopoly" was introduced by Parker Brothers
Company. 

1940 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt won an unprecedented
third term in office. 

1944 Lord Moyne, a British official, was assassinated by the
Zionist Stern gang in Cairo, Egypt. 

1946 John F. Kennedy was elected to the U.S. House of
Representatives at the age of 29. 

1955 The Vienna State Opera House in Austria formally
reopened. 

1956 British and French forces began landing in Egypt during
the Suez Canal Crisis. A cease-fire was declared 2 days
later. 

1959 The American Football League was formed. 

1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement
at L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland. 

1967 In Moscow, the Ostankino Tower opened. It was the
world's tallest free-standing structure for nine years. 

1986 The White House reaffirmed the U.S. ban on the sale of
weapons to Iran. 

1987 In South Africa, Goban Mbeki was released after serving
24 years in the Robben Island prison. He had been sentenced
to life for treason against the white minority government of
South Africa. 

1998 Scientists published a genetic study that showed strong
evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child
(Eston Hemings) of his slave, Sally Hemings. (for more
information) 

1990 Rabbi Meir Kahane, founder of the Kach movement, was
shot to death after a speech at a New York Hotel. His
assassin, Egyptian El Sayyid, was later convicted of the
murder and was sentenced to life in prison for his part in
the World Trade Center bombing. 

1992 Malice Green, a black motorist, was beaten to death in
Detroit during a struggle with police. Two officers were
later convicted in his death and sentenced to prison. 

1994 Former U.S. President Reagan announced that he had
Alzheimer's disease. 

1994 George Foreman, 45, became boxing's oldest heavyweight
champion when he knocked out Michael Moorer in the 10th round
of their WBA fight in Las Vegas, NV. 

1998 The U.N. announced that the Taliban militia had killed
up to 5,000 civilians in a takeover of an Afghani town. 

1999 A 12-day conference on global warming, attended by
delegates from 170 nations, ended in Bonn, Germany. 

1999 Dennis Rodman (NBA) and Carmen Electra were both
arrested and charged with battery and domestic violence in a
hotel in Miami Beach, FL. 

1999 U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled that
Microsoft Corp. enjoyed "monopoly power". 

2001 It was announced that European aircraft manufacturer
Airbus and Dubai-based Emirates airlines set up a joint
venture specializing in airline services. 

2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Nidal Malik Hasan killed
13 people and wounded 30 others. He was sentenced to death in
2013, but has not been executed yet.

2016  smiled.


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Cheap calculator 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, November 4
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Half-naked mother-of-three, 37, is arrested for chasing 
cars in Tennessee while wearing clown makeup
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 4, in 
1847 Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered 
the anethestic qualities of chloroform. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is." "Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her." "You were perfectly right. "You want to speak with her? All right." He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room: "Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Chris for this one: There's nothing worse than a snotty doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong in a room full of other patients. I know you all have experienced this, and here's the way one old guy handled it. An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?" There's something wrong with my dick," he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private." The man walked out, waited several minutes and then reentered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?" There's something wrong with my ear," he stated. The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?" "I can't piss out of it," the man replied. The doctor's office erupted in roaring laughter. ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Candice Kreidel, 37, Cunningham, Tennessee Half-naked mother-of-three, 37, is arrested for chasing cars in Tennessee while wearing clown makeup Who Is Candice A. Kreidel? Candice A. Kreidel is a 37 year old woman from Montgomery County, Tennessee. On October 27, 2016, Candice A. Kreidel was arrested by Montgomery County Tennessee police. Kreidel was partially nude while wearing clown makeup, and she was chasing and jumping on cars in the town of Cunningham. The arrest warrant noted “a series of calls about a white female wearing clown-like makeup, a stocking cap, and was either partially or completely nude that was running up and down Louise Road, chasing cars and jumping out in front of other cars.” Kreidel was intoxicated and locked up due to being a danger to herself and others. She was also charged with making numerous non-emergency calls to 911. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Sue Re: Calculator Dear Webby, I need a cheap calculator. What do you recommend? Sue Dear Sue Click on START type calc Hit Enter It is just a very basic calculator, but it is built in. PowerCalc from XP does not work in W7 or W8 or W10. You can run it in Google, though. Just google for powercalc It is a bit klutzy and you can't scroll back and edit, but it can do more than the built in calc. Personally I use a spreadsheet, Quattro or Excel or Calc in Open Office or office Libre. There you can scroll back, edit, type comments, have different layers, for example for different months, and call numbers like totals from those months onto a cover sheet. When you edit any sheet, the totals on the cover sheet automatically update. Sounds intimidating? It's not. You'll kick yourself for not having started playing with spreadsheets a long time ago. Have FUN! DearWebby A man rushed into a bar and ordered a double martini. The man downed it with one swallow, put a five dollar bill on the bar, and turned and rushed out of the bar. The bartender picked up the five-dollar bill, folded it care- fully and tucked it in his vest pocket. Just at that moment he looked up at the boss standing in the doorway staring at him. Doing a bit of fast thinking he said, "Hi boss, did you see that fellow just now? Came in here, bought a double martini, gave me a five dollar tip, and rushed out without paying."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cinnamon to Deter Ants By Jess [163 Posts, 843 Comments] I tried this in my kitchen recently because the sugar ants were starting to show up on my countertops. I scattered cinnamon behind my sink, which is where they seem to get into the house. I haven't seen an ant in days! I even left a box of donuts on the counter and they have been left entirely alone. Seems much safer than using ant poison or boric acid in my kitchen.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A group of women were talking together. One woman said, "Our congregation is sometimes down to 30 or 40 on a Sunday." Another said, "That's nothing. Sometimes our congregation is down to six or seven." A maiden lady in her seventies added her bit, "Why, it's so bad in our church on Sundays that when the minister says 'dearly beloved,' it makes me blush."
dog barks at cat on stairs
____________________________________________________ Thanks to Ardy for this classic: A man walked into the ladies department of a Macys and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife." "What type of bra?" asked the clerk? "Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?" "Look around," said the sales lady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable. "Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only four of bras to choose from." Relieved, the man asked about the types. The sales lady replied "There are Catholic, the Salvation Army, the Presbyterian, and the Baptist types. Which one would you prefer?" Now totally befuddled, the man asked about the differences between them. The Sales lady responded, "It is all really quite simple... The Catholic type supports the masses. The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen, The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and The Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills." ____________________________________________________ (Q) What' s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? (A) A northern zoo has latin names and stuff nobody reads on the cages. A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe. ____________________________________________________
Making people laugh from the grave. My Dad's headstone says on one side: Pardon Me For Not Standing Up And on the other side: Remember friend as you pass by As you are now so once was I As I am now so soon you'll be Prepare yourself to follow me
____________________________________________________
Today on November 4
1846 A patent for an artificial leg was granted to Benjamin
Palmer. 

1847 Scottish obstetrician James Young Simpson discovered the
anethestic qualities of chloroform. 

1880 James and John Ritty patented the first cash register. 

1922 In Egypt, Howard Carter discovered the entry of the lost
tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamen. 

1939 During World War II, the U.S. modified its neutrality
stance with the Neutrality Act of 1939. The new policy
allowed cash-and-carry purchases of arms by belligerents. 

1939 At the 40th National Automobile Show the first air-
conditioned car was put on display. 

1942 During World War II, Axis forces retreated from El
Alamein in North Africa. It was a major victory for the
British. 

1956 Soviet forces enter Hungary in order to suppress the
uprising that had begun on October 23, 1956. 

1979 Iranian militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran and
took 63 Americans hostage (90 total hostages). The militants,
mostly students, demanded that the U.S. send the former shah
back to Iran to stand trial. Many hostages were later
released, but 52 were held for the next 14 months. 

1981 The second scheduled flight of the space shuttle
Columbia was canceled with only 31 seconds left in the
countdown. 

1984 Nicaragua held its first free elections in 56 years. 

1985 Soviet defector Vitaly Yurchenko announced he was
returning to the Soviet Union. He had charged that he had
been kidnapped by the CIA. 

1989 About a million East Germans filled the streets of East
Berlin in a pro-democracy rally. 

1990 Iraq issued a statement saying it was prepared to fight
a "dangerous war" rather than give up Kuwait. 

1991 Ronald Reagan opened his presidential library in Simi
Valley, CA. The dedication ceremony was attended by President
Bush and former U.S. presidents Jimmy Carter, Gerald R. Ford
and Richard M. Nixon. It was the 1st gathering of 5 U.S.
chief executives. 

1995 Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin, 73 years old, was
assassinated by right-wing Israeli Yigal Amir after attending
a peace rally. 

1999 The United Nations imposed economic sanctions against
the Taliban that controlled most of Afghanistan. The
sanctions were imposed because the Taliban had refused to
turn over Osama bin Laden, who had been charged with
masterminding the 1998 bombings of the U.S. embassies in
Kenya and Tanzania. 

2001 The movie "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" had
its world premiere in London. 

2001 Hurrican Michelle hit Cuba destroying crops and
thousands of homes. The United States made the gesture of
sending humanitarian aid. On December 16, 2001, Cuba received
the first commercial food shipment from the U.S. in nearly 40
years. 

2010 Microsoft's Kinect was launched worldwide. 

2016  smiled.


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BleachBit versus CrapCleaner 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, November 3

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Floriduh homeless man returns to the bank he robbed 
after getting a drink 
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 3, in 
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of 
Lisa Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the 
Mona Lisa. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Work is the curse of the drinking classes. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. --- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955) Teenagers should move out earlier, while they still know it all. --- Socratex "I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence." --- Doug MacLeod ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The following ad is reported to have gotten numerous calls... SINGLE BLACK FEMALE... Seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a good looking female who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy." Callers found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an eight-week-old black Lab. ______________________________________________________ Following an especially angry argument, Mr. and Mrs. Smith went to bed not speaking to each other. Needing to arise early the following morning, Mr. Smith left a note on his wife's bedside table that said "Wake me at six." An exasperated Mr. Smith awoke at ten the following morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his bedside table: "It's six, you bum! Get out of bed!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Stephen Daniel Stump, 36, Key West, Floriduh Homeless man returns to the bank he robbed after getting a drink An unarmed homeless man robbed a Key West bank Tuesday only to return when he heard the police sirens and immediately surrender, a city spokeswoman said. Stephen Daniel Stump, 36, was arrested on felony charges of robbery and falsely reporting an explosive device after police said he walked into the Centennial Bank branch at 701 Whitehead St. at about 12:30 p.m. demanding money and lying that he had a bomb in his backpack. Stump left with an undisclosed amount of cash and headed over to a Duval Street restaurant, Mangoes, and ordered a drink from the bar. “He paid with a $50 bill from the robbery, telling the bartender to keep the change,” said city spokeswoman Alyson Crean. “When he heard sirens, he apparently returned to the bank and was apprehended. All of the money was recovered.” Stump, whose ID card gave his home address as Key West’s homeless shelter, was arrested without incident and the bank building and his backpack were deemed safe by the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office bomb squad. Crean said she cannot legally release how much money was stolen. She said while police were interviewing witnesses, one bank employee looked out a window and spotted Stump standing right outside. Stump walked up, put down his backpack and waited to be arrested, Crean said. The robbery shut down part of Whitehead Street for about a half-hour Tuesday while police worked the scene. He will be getting free room and board all winter at the jail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Dave Re: BleachBit versus CrapCleaner Dear Webby, Hope all is well with you and yours. In the news we hear about BleachBit how does it compare to CrapCleaner? Dave Dear Dave CrapCleaner has been around for a long time and has been steadily improved all along. It is still free, just supported by voluntary donations. BleachBit got a lot of publicity because Hillary Clinton ordered her IT staff to clean her servers and her machines and those of Abedin, her assistant, with BleachBit, after they got almost a week's notice, that the FBI wanted to look at them. Like CrapCleaner and all utilities since X-Tree and Norton Commander in good old DOS, BleachBit too has a shredder included. Most techies prefer CrapCleaner because it has more professional tools included, but the shredder is very basic and included in all utilities. I don't remember if Hillary's server was Windows or Linux. On Linux servers you have "wipe", "srm" the Secure Remove, "shred", and a few other ones. If you have CrapCleaner, stick with it. Have FUN! DearWebby Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe." Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Morris, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000. In all honesty I cannot unfairly accept two bribes." The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Morris saying, "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Gluing Glass to Glass Best Answer By Cindy [1 Post, 32 Comments] E6000 will work. It's great for glass. I sell tons of it in my craft shop. You should be able to find it locally.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
This guy went to see a highly recommend psychiatrist. The doctor showed the man an inkblot and asked, "What does this remind you of?" The guy replied, "A naked woman." Then the shrink showed the man another inkblot and asked the guy the same question. The guy responded, "A naked woman on a bed." This went on and on, inkblot after inkblot. The psychiatrist finally said to the guy, "You are a sick pervert." The guy replied, "I'm not the pervert here. You're the one who keeps showing me all of those naughty pictures." --------------------------- You gotta be nuts to go see a psychiatrist!
dog barks at cat on stairs
____________________________________________________ Ole decided to buy Lena a new car for her birthday. They shopped and shopped. Finally, Lena found one she liked. But before signing the papers, Lena looked at the car one more time. Suddenly, she bristled and walked away, saying she didn't want the car. She wouldn't even talk about it. On the way home, Ole said, "Vell, Lena, I tot yew liked dat car. Vat changed yer mind about it? "Ole, I yust don't vant any car vit XL on it," Lena answered. "It's bad enuff having dat on my undervear." ____________________________________________________ "Man who look to stale cookie for advice probably make good busboy. Ask waitress for application." ____________________________________________________
The best and the worst pumpkin carvers
____________________________________________________
Today on November 3
1507 Leonardo DaVinci was commissioned by the husband of Lisa
Gherardini to paint her. The work is known as the Mona Lisa. 

1631 The Reverend John Eliot arrived in the Massachusetts Bay
Colony. He was the first Protestant minister to dedicate
himself to the conversion of Native Americans to
Christianity. 

1793 Stephen F. Austin was born. He was the principal founder
of Texas. 

1796 John Adams was elected the 2nd U.S. President. 

1839 The first Opium War between China and Britain erupted. 

1892 The first automatic telephone went into service at
LaPorte, IN. The device was invented by Almon Strowger. 

1900 The first automobile show in the United States opened at
New York's Madison Square Garden. 

1903 Panama proclaimed its independence from Colombia. 

1911 Chevrolet Motor Car Company was founded by Louis
Chevrolet and William C. Durant. 

1934 The first race track in California opened under a new
pari-mutuel betting law. 

1941 U.S. Ambassador to Japan John Grew warned that the
Japanese may be planning a sudden attack on the U.S. 

1952 Frozen bread was offered for sale for the first time in
a supermarket in Chester, NY. 

1953 The Rules Committee of organized baseball restored the
sacrifice fly. The rule had not been used since 1939. 

1957 Sputnik II was launched by the Soviet Union. It was the
second manmade satellite to be put into orbit and was the
first to put an animal into space, a dog named Laika. 

1973 The U.S. launched the Mariner 10 spacecraft. On March
29, 1974 it became the first spacecraft to reach the planet
Mercury. 

1979 Five members of the Communist Workers' Party are shot to
death in broad daylight at an anti-Ku Klux Klan rally in
Greensboro, NC. Eight others were wounded. 

1986 The Ash-Shiraa, pro-Syrian Lebanese magazine, first
broke the story of U.S. arms sales to Iran to secure the
release of seven American hostages. The story turned into the
Iran-Contra affair. 

1987 China told the U.S. that it would halt the sale of arms
to Iran. 

1991 Israeli and Palestinian representatives held their
first-ever face-to-face talks in Madrid, Spain. 

1994 Susan Smith of Union, SC, was arrested for drowning her
two sons. Nine days earlier Smith had claimed that the
children had been abducted by a black carjacker.

1995 U.S. President Clinton dedicated a memorial at Arlington
National Cemetery to the 270 victims of the bombing of Pan Am
Flight 103. 

1998 A state-run newspaper in Iraq urged the country to
prepare for to battle "the U.S. monster." 

1998 Minnesota elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura, a former pro
wrestler, as its governor. 

2002 At Kai Tak Airport in Hong Kong, 777 people assembled a
58,435 square foot jigsaw puzzle with 21,600 pieces. 

2003 In Kabul, Afghanistan, a post-Taliban draft constitution
was unveiled. 

2005 Walt Disney Pictures released "Chicken Little." It was
the first Disney film completely created with computer
animation. 

2014 In New York City, One World Trade Center opened for
business. 

2016  smiled.


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VCR to DVD 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, November 2

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Woman mails contraband to jail, blames inmate
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 1, in 
1721 Peter the Great (Peter I), ruler of Russia, 
changed his title to emperor.

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ There are two motives for reading a book: one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it. --- Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970) Science fiction writers foresee the inevitable, and although problems and catastrophes may be inevitable, solutions are not. --- Isaac Asimov I have such poor vision I can date anybody. --- Garry Shandling (1949 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An elderly lady just ahead of me at a recent art show was looking at a painting with an ugly mish-mash of colors and turned to me and asked, "What's that?" I said, "According to the program flier, it's supposed to be a cowboy on his horse." "Supposed to be!", she sneered. "And whoever signed it, is 'supposed to be' a painter?" ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ Three guys met in a bar and spent the afternoon drinking and telling stories. Finally, as evening approached, they realized that it was time to go. So they signaled the bartender and told him they wanted to pay their tab. The bartender left and returned, saying the total bar bill was $3.00. "Three dollars," they gasped, and one said, "Surely you must be wrong, it has to be more than $3.00, we've been here all afternoon. We must have had 10 beers apiece." "That's right" said the bartender, "thirty beers at ten cent's apiece, that's $3.00." The men were amazed that the beer was so cheap, but the bartender went on to explain, "You see," he said, "I won the lottery and I wanted to open a bar where folks could come and drink for a reasonable price and have fun. So I use my lottery winnings to subsidize the cost, that's why drinks are so cheap." The men nodded, but one of them asked the bartender, "Those two guys over there, they've been here for two hours and they haven't had anything to drink, what's going on?" "Oh those guys" the bartender replied, "they're from Florida. They are waiting for happy hour." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this picture: Another rare October bloomer bloomed Oct 31. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Jacklyn Suzanne Stacey Birthdate: December 31, 1969 Height: 5'03"Weight: 120 lb Crestview, Floriduh Woman mails contraband to jail, blames inmate A woman accused of trying to get her jailed ex-boyfriend in trouble mailed him six strips of a narcotic substance, lawmen say. A corrections officer detected the illegal drugs while checking incoming mail. When he asked the inmate about them, the man said that he only got mail from two people – his mother and the mother of his child. He added that the mother of his child, Jacklyn Suzanne Stacey, a known and previously arrested meth-head, has been trying to get him in trouble to get custody of their child. Stacey’s age and address are not listed on her Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office arrest report. The reason given is that she is a former law enforcement official or the spouse or child of a law enforcement officer. The info is on the web because of her prior arrests. When deputies interviewed Stacey, she admitted attaching the orange strips to the envelope and mailing them to the inmate. She said he’d requested that she do it, according to her arrest report. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From John Re: VCR to DVD problems Dear Webby, Sorry for taking up so much of your time, but Im in a bind again. There are three parts to my problem. 1.. A couple of years ago I purchased a DVD Video recorder/Video cassette recorder. (TOSHIBA) model DVR630KCn to convert my VHS tapes to disc / It took me a while to get it figured out , . I am copying thirty min programs on each disc, with up to 4 blocks on each disc ,This is fine , but they wont play back on any other machine, eg.my computer, with windows seven. I have fromated each disc before I start and finalized it after, Any Suggestions . 2. My daughter is having the same problem, , only she is using one of them converters that she plugs into an VCR and into her hard drive. 3. where is the best place to buy DVD-RWS by the gross. with no shirts. Thank for you help, Have fun 4 Am I using the proper discs??????? John B Dear John I asked Jerome from http://nacards.net, the real expert in these matters: His reply was First a quick answer for John. You can only use DVD-R’s for use of video. You stated that you formatted each one which tells me you are using DVD-RW’s Your DVD recorder does a good job of recording. To play on a newer DVD player that accepts avi, wav, or mp4 formats, you can directly copy those to the disk. Jerome Have FUN! DearWebby Thanks to Flo for this one: Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap. I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said sweetly, "Without your glasses you look like the same handsome young man I married." "Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you still look pretty good too!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Earning Money Online By Suntydt [75 Posts, 877 Comments] 14 found this helpful I saw the "Auctions for Income" infomercial the other night. It looked interesting, but I am always skeptical about infomercials. I did a quick search via Google and the majority of the sites that popped up on the first page of results basically yelled "SCAM!" in just as many words. As mentioned there is a way to make money via eBay, but you need a product people want that everyone else isn't selling. My advise to anyone interested in doing something like this is to consider items that can be used on multiple sites. For example, I go to yard sales, flea markets, Goodwill, and pawn shops and buy DVDs. Usually the more I buy, the cheaper I can get the product. I verify every disc is in like new condition before I make my offer. I list my items first on Amazon. Items that either don't have a listing or are selling for pennies on Amazon, I try to list on another site. On this other site, you trade DVDs (you pay for shipping when someone asks for one of your DVDs). As you mail DVDs you get to request DVDs. About once a week I go through the recently posted DVDs and see if any are going for big bucks on Amazon. If they are I request them and when they show up I list them on Amazon. For the DVDs that I can't put on Amazon or aren't listable on the trading site, I post them on eBay. If they sell, great. If they don't, I can always have my own yard sale when the summer comes back around. It takes a bit of organization and attention to detail, but it works. For example, last month I was at a pawn shop in a town I only get to on occasion. I stopped there as an after thought. They were packed with DVDs. I bought 180 DVDs at .70 cents each - roughly $125. In the first week I sold 10 and made $73, more than half of what I paid. You won't be a millionaire anytime soon, but it will keep you busy and you make some money. The added benefit is if this is something you enjoy - I love it :) And just as another note for success: when I start listing DVDs on Amazon, I double check their condition. I only post DVDs in "Like New or Very Good" condition (usually I only post "Very Good" DVDs when there are few of them for sale and they appear hard to get). I also check the DVDs when I have an order and pack them for shipment. Reputation I believe is vey important to many people who shop online, and my profile only brags about the quality of what I sell (selling more in the long run). And when I slip the paper of the order in the package I always include a note: I thank them for the order and I ask them to go back to Amazon and leave feedback. If this sounds like something you are interested in you can do the same thing with paperback books and CDs. I am sure there are other things as well, but I'm having fun with what I am doing so I haven't looked for anything else Second note to success: the lowest price I sell something covers my costs and makes me a dollar. Costs include the packing materials, postage, and the gas to get to and from the post office. So these three things plus one dollar is my minimum price for a product. That's just good business. Have fun, meet people and make some money. Or as they say in the races "Ready, Set, GO!" By suntydt from Tazewell, TN
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
SexySassySatin's riddles: The word is: heroine What am I? heart
ife calls exterminator for musicians
____________________________________________________ >From Noella: Once I helped a friend with a garage sale. She lived across the street from a church where they were having a wedding. I put up a large sign - "Last-Minute Wedding Gifts Here!" Many came to check it out! ____________________________________________________ A woman went to her doctor's office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about 4 minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched back to the first and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?" The new doctor smiled smugly as he continued to write on his clipboard. "Cured her hiccups though, didn't it?" "Idiot!", the older doctor hissed at him, "Three prescriptions and a couple of months of hiccups therapy would have gone a lot further towards paying off your student loan, and would have eventually cured her hickups too." ____________________________________________________
The best and the worst pumpkin carvers
____________________________________________________
Today on November 2 
1721 Peter the Great (Peter I), ruler of Russia, changed his
title to emperor. 

1776 During the American Revolutionary War, William Demont,
became the first traitor of the American Revolution when he
deserted. 

1867 "Harpers Bazaar" magazine was founded. 

1883 Thomas Edison executed a patent application for an
electrical indicator using the Edison effect lamp (U.S. Pat.
307,031). 

1895 In Chicago, IL, the first gasoline powered car contest
took place in America. 

1917 British Foreign Secretary Arthur Balfour expressed
support for a "national home" for the Jews of Palestine. 

1920 The first commercial radio station in the U.S., KDKA of
Pittsburgh, PA, began regular broadcasting. 

1921 Margaret Sanger's National Birth Control League combined
with Mary Ware Denetts Voluntary Parenthood League to form
the American Birth Control League. 

1930 Haile Selassie was crowned emperor of Ethiopia. 

1930 The DuPont Company announced the first synthetic rubber.
It was named DuPrene. 

1947 Howard Hughes flew his "Spruce Goose," a huge wooden
airplane, for eight minutes in California. It was the plane's
first and only flight. The "Spruce Goose," nicknamed because
of the white-gray color of the spruce used to build it, never
went into production. 

1948 Harry S. Truman defeated Thomas E. Dewey for the U.S.
presidency. The Chicago Tribune published an early edition
that had the headline "DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN." The Truman
victory surprised many polls and newspapers. (Illinois> 

1960 In London, the novel "Lady Chatterly's Lover," was found
not guilty of obscenity. 

1962 U.S. President Kennedy announced that the U.S.S.R. was
dismantling the missile sites in Cuba. 

1963 South Vietnamese President Ngo Dihn Diem was
assassinated in a military coup. 

1966 The Cuban Adjustment Act allows 123,000 Cubans to apply
for permanent residence in the U.S. 

1979 Joanna Chesimard, a black militant escaped from a New
Jersey prison, where she'd been serving a life sentence for
the 1973 murder of a New Jersey state trooper. 

1984 Velma Barfield became the first woman to be executed in
the U.S. since 1962. She had been convicted of the poisoning
death of her boyfriend. 

1985 The South African government imposed severe restrictions
on television, radio and newspaper coverage of unrest by both
local and foreign journalists. 

1986 The 12-by-16-inch celluloid of a poison apple from Walt
Disney's "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"" was purchased for
$30,800. 

1986 American hostage David Jacobson was released after being
held in Lebanon for 17 months by Shiite Muslims kidnappers. 

1989 Carmen Fasanella retired after 68 years and 243 days of
taxicab service in Princeton, NJ. 

1992 Magic Johnson retired from the NBA again, this time for
good because of fear due to his HIV infection. 

1993 The U.S. Senate called for full disclosure of Senator
Bob Packwood's diaries in a sexual harassment probe. 

1993 Christie Todd Whitman was elected the first woman
governor of New Jersey. 

1995 The U.S. expelled Daiwa Bank Ltd. for allegedly covering
up $1.1 billion in trading losses. 

1998 U.S. President Clinton gave his first in-depth interview
since the White House sex scandal to Black Entertainment
Television talk show host and political commentator Tavis
Smiley on the network's "BET Tonight with Tavis Smiley." 

2001 The computer-animated movie "Monsters, Inc." opened. The
film recorded the best debut ever for an animated film and
the 6th best of all time. 

2003 In the U.S., the Episcopal Church diocese consecrated
the church's first openly gay bishop.

2016  smiled.


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Search Engine Optimiser Scams 





Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, Novembert 1

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Denver Cop Charged With Theft Thanks to Own Body Camera
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, November 1, in 
1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel were first exhibited to the public. The nudity on
the paintings have been painted over in the 1970's.

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The word 'meaningful' when used today is nearly always meaningless. --- Paul Johnson "The herd instinct among forecasters makes sheep look like independent thinkers." --- Edgar R. Fiedler Election promises are the opposite of forecasts. --- DW ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ An elderly lady just ahead of me at a recent art show was looking at a painting with an ugly mish-mash of colors and turned to me and asked, "What's that?" I said, "According to the program flier, it's supposed to be a cowboy on his horse." "Supposed to be!", she sneered. "And whoever signed it, is 'supposed to be' a painter?" ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an old lady and an old gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop: "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer". He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were off! About a month later the little old lady came in to his shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly. "The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?" ______________________________________________________ Thanks to dad for this picture: This one bloomed today. ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Julian Archuleta, 48, Denver, Colorado Denver Cop Charged With Theft Thanks to Own Body Camera A Denver cop who claimed $1,200 "must have fallen into his bag" at the scene of a car crash was arrested and suspended without pay after footage from his own body camera told a different story. The footage showed Julian Archuleta, a 48- year-old who has been on the force since 2004, responding to a report of shots being fired earlier this month, reports the Denver Post. When the suspects rolled over their car after a short chase, one fled the scene while the other was unconscious in the vehicle. Archuleta's body camera captured him removing money from the suspect's clothing after it had been cut away by paramedics. In the footage, Archuleta could be seen reshuffling the money and removing a $100 bill from a stack of bills, 9News reports. He was contacted by Internal Affairs after a detective reviewed the footage and noticed that there had been no $100 bills recovered from the scene. Archuleta told them he would "check his war bag" and later claimed to have discovered 12 $100 bills that "must have fallen" in there. He faces a felony charge of tampering with physical evidence and misdemeanor charges of first-degree official misconduct and theft. Police say that because of his actions, the shooting investigation was blown and the suspect was never charged. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Rosa Re: Search engine Optimizing Dear Webby, My dad's consultant told me that all these Search Engine Optimizers are just con artists who can't make a living with their own web sites, so they are spamming and trying to con money out of people who make money on the web. However, some of those SEOs sound very convincing. I notice that your Mypostcards.com has been at the top of Google for many years and you don't buy ad words and you don't even use meta tags. What's the real scoop? Rosa Dear Rosa Your dad's consultant is very wise. You have to understand that the search engines are not in business to please a bunch of tricksters, but to deliver the content that people are looking for. When you are looking for flower seeds, you want to be shown companies that sell flower seeds, not a bunch of flakey casinos or dating sites. Becaue the search engines are trying hard to deliver the searched for content, they work very hard to defeat the tricksters and keep changing the rules to stay ahead of cheaters. People who spend big money on ad words will often temporarily rise to the top, but usually just very briefly. Don't worry about them. Just focus on having the content that you promise, and you'll stick around near the top. Have FUN! DearWebby Tony went to the doctor and told him that his hearing had deteriorated so bad that he couldn't even hear himself fart. The doctor gave Tony some pills. Tony asked him, "Will these make me hear better?" Doc replied, "No, but they will make you fart louder."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making Dumplings Best Answer: By Cindy [7 Posts, 160 Comments] I don't make mine in the oven, but here's how I do it. Boil a big pot of water. While the water is heating, crack 6 eggs in a bowl. Add a little salt and a little water and whisk them together. Add about 3 cups of flour or more until the batter clings to a spoon. Using the spoon, drop spoonfulls of batter into the boiling water. After you've dropped them all, stir it and let it boil (you may have to turn down the heat so it doesn't boil over). When they are all floating, they are done. It only takes a few minutes. Then drain and add butter, salt or whatever you want. Hope this helps.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
>From SexySassySatin: There is a word in the English language in which the first 2 letters signify a male, the first 3 letter signigy a female, the first 4 signify a great male and the whole word signifies a great female. What is that word? -------------- Break me but I'll continue to work Touch me and maybe I'll stay with you forever. What am I?
funny games Jampa Monlam
____________________________________________________ A couple were being interviewed on their Golden Wedding Anniversary. "In all that time, did you ever consider a divorce?" "Oh, no, not divorce, we're too old fashioned for that," she said. "Murder quite often, but never divorce." ____________________________________________________ You probably know that MADD is the group that calls itself Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Now There is also DAM Mothers Against Dylsexia ____________________________________________________
The best and the worst pumpkin carvers
____________________________________________________
Today on November 1 in
1512 Michelangelo's paintings on the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel were first exhibited to the public. The nudity on
the paintings have been painted over in the 1970's.

1604 "Othello," the tragedy by William Shakespeare, was
first presented at Whitehall Palace in London. 

1611 "The Tempest," Shakespeare's romantic comedy, was
first presented at Whitehall Palace in London. 

1755 At least 60,000 people were killed in Lisbon, Portugal
by an earthquake, its aftershocks and the ensuing tsunami. 

1765 The British Parliament enacted The Stamp Act in the
American colonies. The act was repealed in March of 1766 on
the same day that the Parliament passed the Declaratory
Acts which asserted that the British government had free
and total legislative power of the colonies. 

1800 U.S. President John Adams became the first president
to live in the White House when he moved in. 

1848 The first medical school for women, founded by Samuel
Gregory, opened in Boston, MA. The Boston Female Medical
School later merged with Boston University School of
Medicine. 

1856 The first photography magazine, Daguerreian Journal,
was published in New York City, NY. 

1861 Gen. George B. McClellan was made the general-in-chief
of the American Union armies. 

1864 The U.S. Post Office started selling money orders. The
money orders provided a safe way for payments by mail. 

1870 The U.S. Weather Bureau made its first meteorological
observations using 24 locations that provided reports via
telegraph. 

1879 Thomas Edison executed his first patent application
for a high-resistance carbon filament (U.S. Pat. 223,898). 

1894 "Billboard Advertising" was published for the first
time. It later became known as "Billboard." 

1894 Russian Emperor Alexander III died. 

1904 The Army War College in Washington, DC, enrolled the
first class. 

1911 Italy used planes to drop bombs on the Tanguira oasis
in Libya. It was the first aerial bombing. 

1936 Benito Mussolini made a speech in Milan, Italy, in
which he described the alliance between Italy and Nazi
Germany as an "axis" running between Berlin and Rome. 

1940 "A Night in the Tropics" was released. It was the
first movie for Abbott and Costello. 

1949 In Washington, 55 people were killed when a fighter
plane hit an airliner. 

1950 Two Puerto Rican nationalists tried to assassinate
U.S. President Harry Truman. One of the men was killed when
they tried to force their way into Blair House in
Washington, DC. 

1952 The United States exploded the first hydrogen bomb on
Eniwetok Atoll in the Marshall Islands. 

1954 Algeria began to rebel against French rule. 

1959 Jacques Plante, of the Montreal Canadiens, became the
first goalie in the NHL to wear a mask. 

1963 The USSR launched Polyot I. It was the first satellite
capable of maneuvering in all directions and able to change
its orbit. 

1968 The movie rating system of G, M, R, X, followed by PG-
13 and NC-17 went into effect. 

1979 Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini urged all Iranians to
demonstrate on November 4 and to expand their attacks
against the U.S. and Israel. On November 4, Iranian
militants seized the U.S. embassy in Tehran and took 63
Americans hostage. 

1981 The U.S. Postal Service raised the first-class letter
rate to 20 cents. 

1985 In the village of Ignacio Aldama, 22 members of a
Mexican anti-narcotics squad were killed by alleged drug
traffickers. 

1987 Deng Xiaoping retired from China's Communist Party's
Central Committee. 

1989 Tens of thousands of refugees fled to the West when
East Germany reopened its border with Czechoslovakia. 

1989 Nicaraguan President Daniel Ortega announced the end
of a cease-fire with the Contra rebels. 

1993 The European Community's treaty on European unity took
effect. 

1994 The Amazon.com domain name was registered. 

1995 In Dayton, OH, the Bosnian peace talks opened with the
leaders of Bosnia, Serbia and Croatia present. 

1998 Nicaraguan Vice President Enrique Bolanos announced
that between 1,000 and 1,500 people were buried in a 32-
square mile area below the slopes of the Casita volcano in
northern Nicaragua by a mudslide caused by Hurricane Mitch.


1998 Iridium inaugurated the first handheld, global
satellite phone and paging system.

2016  smiled.


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She can't forward 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, October 31
Happy Halloween!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Pothead or potbutt? Dope dealer in road rage incident 
hid pot in his butt, dope and gun in car.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 31, in 
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the
Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the
Protestant Reformation in Germany and wars throughout Europe.

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ There is no nonsense so gross that society will not, at some time, make a doctrine of it and defend it with every weapon of communal stupidity. --- Robertson Davies When you don't have any money, the problem is food. When you have money, it's sex. When you have both, it's health. If everything is simply jake, then you're frightened of death. --- J.P. Donleavy ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ The teen-aged beauty was telling a friend that she was really worried about her mother. It seems she's always fatigued from staying up all night long. Her friend asked, "What's she doing staying up all night? At her age, that's not good at all." The girl replied, "Waiting for me to come home." ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ Tech Support: "OK, Jose, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Programs." Jose: "I don't have a 'P'." Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Jose." Jose: "What do you mean?" Tech Support: "'P', on your keyboard, Jose." Jose: "I'm not going to do that!" Tech Support: "Jose, I'm going to have to put you on hold for a bit. One of the other techs here needs to have an emergency hernia transplant." ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Pink and blue at Shell Beach, California from Lillemor ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nabil Subhai Hasan, 23, Derrick Alan Innocent, 23, Lakeland, Floriduh Pothead or potbutt? Dope dealer in road rage incident hid pot in his butt, dope and gun in car. The FHP arrested a driver and his passenger in a road rage incident for throwing bottles at another vehicle on I-4. Late Wednesday night, dispatchers received a call from a driver who reported people inside another vehicle were throwing objects at her while both traveling westbound on I-4 in Polk County. The incident began in Lakeland near mile marker 33 and continued for another 11 miles to Plant City. The female driver told dispatchers she heard a gun shot after glass bottles were thrown at her car. Officers with Lakeland Police conducted a traffic stop of the suspect vehicle at mile marker 22 on I-4. According to the arrest affidavit, officers found a bag of Ecstasy shoved under the driver's seat and a loaded semi- automatic gun under the cushion of the rear right seat. Police also found a bag of marijuana hidden inside the driver's butt. Florida Highway Patrol Trooper Jason Guaba arrived on scene and spoke to the alleged victims. He then interviewed the driver and two passengers inside the suspect vehicle. There was also an infant in the vehicle at the time of the incident. After concluding his investigation Trooper Guaba arrested the driver, 23-year-old Nabil Subhai Hasan, and one of his passengers, 23-year-old Derrick Alan Innocent. Both men were taken to Orient Road Jail for booking. Both Hasan and Innocent are facing four felonies charges: two counts of Throwing a Deadly Missile into an Occupied Vehicle, Felon in Possession of a Weapon, and Possession of Cocaine with Intent to Sell. They were also arrested for Misdemeanor Possession of Marijuana. There was no mention in the report about charges for endangering the infant. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Dixie H Re: Can't Forward Dear Webby, CAN'T FORWARD YOUR PROGRAM TO MY FRIENDS CAN THIS BE CORRECTED?? Dixie H. Dear Dixie I have no idea which of the many email programs you use. Check in the "Help" of your email program to see how an email is forwarded with the email program that you use. Usually you just find the icon for forwarding, hit that, type in the recipient address, and hit SEND. Have FUN! DearWebby Here is a classic that came back to me from Rick. A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed a man sitting opposite her was smiling. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed even more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about20) what he had to say for himself. The man replied," Well, you're Honor, it was like this. When the woman got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I smiled. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Slogan's Liniment will reduce the swelling' and I had to grin. Then she moved under a sign that said, ' William's Big Stick did the trick' and I could hardly contain myself. BUT you're Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident'… I just lost it." Case dismissed.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Old Fashioned Coconut Cream Pie By Abigail A. [21 Posts, 1,334 Comments] This is my go-to custard pie recipe. I love coconut! If you prefer meringue to whipped topping, you can make it with the leftover egg whites. Prep Time: About 20 minutes Cook Time: About 25 minutes Total Time: 45 to 55 minutes Yield: One pie Ingredients: 1 1/2 cup milk 1/3 cup sugar 1/4 tsp salt 2 Tbsp cornstarch 3 egg yolks 1 Tbsp coconut oil or butter 1/2 cup shredded, unsweetened (dry) coconut 1/2 tsp coconut flavoring 1 uncooked bottom pie crust (You can use the refrigerated, rolled pie crust) Steps: Scald milk in top of double boiler. Meanwhile combine sugar, cornstarch, salt and egg yolks in a bowl. Pour the scalded milk into the mixed ingredients, and pour the mixture back into the double boiler. Stir and cook until thickened. Remove from heat and add the coconut oil, shredded coconut and flavoring. Pour into pastry lined pie pan and crimp edges. Bake in 450 degree F oven for 10 minutes, then immediately turn down to 325 degrees F. Bake for an additional 10 to 20 minutes more or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Let cool and cover with whipped topping.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Tired of having to balance his wife Cindy's checkbook, Mike made a deal with her; he would look at it, but only after she had spent a few hours trying to wrestle it into shape. The following night, after spending hours poring over stubs and figures, Cindy said proudly, "I've done it! I made it balance!" Impressed, Mike came over to take a look. "Let's see... mortgage 550.00, electricity 70.50, phone 35.00." His brow wrinkled as he read the last entry. "It says here ESP, $615. What the heck is that?" "Oh," she said, "That means, Error Some Place!"
New York Handpan
____________________________________________________ In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper. She offered for sale what sounded like "well-aged Caumeneur." The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular, wine, but was used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary. "Could you please spell that?" she asked. "You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w M-a-n-u-r-e ____________________________________________________ During one "generation gap" quarrel with his parents young Michael cried, "I want excitement, adventure, money, and beautiful women. I'll never find it here at home, so I'm leaving. Don't try and stop me!" With that he headed toward the door. His father rose and followed close behind. "Didn't you hear what I said? I don't want you to try and stop me." "Who's trying to stop you?" replied his father. "If you wait a minute, I'll go with you." ____________________________________________________
The art of......paper art.
____________________________________________________
Today on October 31 in
1517 Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the door of the
Wittenberg Palace Church. The event marked the start of the
Protestant Reformation in Germany and wars throughout Europe.


1864 Nevada became the 36th state to join the U.S. 

1868 Postmaster General Alexander Williams Randall approved a
standard uniform for postal carriers. 

1914 The Ottoman Empire (Turkey) joined the Central Powers
(Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Bulgaria). 

1922 Benito Mussolini became prime minister of Italy. 

1926 Magician Harry Houdini died of gangrene and peritonitis
resulting from a ruptured appendix. His appendix had been
damaged twelve days earlier when he had been punched in the
stomach by a student unexpectedly. During a lecture Houdini
had commented on the strength of his stomach muscles and
their ability to withstand hard blows. 

1940 The British air victory in the Battle of Britain
prevented Germany from invading Britain. 

1941 Mount Rushmore was declared complete after 14 years of
work. At the time the 60-foot busts of U.S. Presidents George
Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt and Abraham
Lincoln were finished. 

1941 The U.S. Navy destroyer Reuben James was torpedoed by a
German submarine near Iceland. The U.S. had not yet entered
World War II. More than 100 men were killed. 

1952 The U.S. detonated its first hydrogen bomb. 

1954 The Algerian National Liberation Front (FLN) began a
revolt against French rule. 

1955 Britain's Princess Margaret announced she would not
marry Royal Air Force Captain Peter Townsend. 

1956 Rear Admiral G.J. Dufek became the first person to land
an airplane at the South Pole. Dufek also became the first
person to set foot on the South Pole. 

1959 Lee Harvey Oswald, a former U.S. Marine from Fort Worth,
TX, announced that he would never return to the U.S. At the
time he was in Moscow, Russia. 

1961 In the Soviet Union, the body of Joseph Stalin was
removed from Lenin's Tomb where it was on public display. 

1968 U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson ordered a halt to all
U.S. bombing of North Vietnam. 

1969 Wal-Mart Discount City stores were incorporated as Wal-
Mart Stores, Inc. 

1981 Antiqua and Barbuda became independent of Great Britain.


1983 The U.S. Defense Department acknowledged that during the
U.S. led invasion of Grenada, that a U.S. Navy plane had
mistakenly bombed a civilian hospital. 

1984 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi was assassinated
near her residence by two Sikh security guards. Her son,
Rajiv, was sworn in as prime minister. 

1994 68 people were killed when an American Eagle ATR-72,
plunged into a northern Indiana farm. 

1997 Louise Woodward, British au pair, was sentenced to life
in prison after being convicted of second-degree murder in
the death of 8-month-old Matthew Eappen. She was released
after her sentence was reduced to manslaughter. 

1998 Iraq announced that it was halting all dealings with
U.N. arms inspectors. The inspectors were investigating the
country's weapons of mass destruction stemming from Iraq's
invasion of Kuwait in 1990. 

1999 EgyptAir Flight 990 crashed off the coast of Nantucket,
MA, killing all 217 people aboard. 

1999 Leaders from the Roman Catholic Church and the Lutheran
Church signed the Joint Declaration on the Doctrine of
Justification. The event ended a centuries-old doctrinal
dispute over the nature of faith and salvation. 

2001 Microsoft and the U.S. Justice Department reached a
tentative agreement to settle the antitrust case against the
software company. 

2007 Google shares hit $700 for the first time. 

2008 Distribution Video Audio, Inc. shipped its final
shipment of VHS tapes to stores. The company was the last
major United States supplier of pre-recorded VHS tapes. 

2016  smiled.


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DSL and FAX on the same line? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, October 30
Tomorrow is Halloween!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Intoxicated Indiana mower driver used son as shield, 
threatened trooper
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 28, in 
1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton
County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave
uprising in American history. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. --- Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Tyrone was visiting Leroy and discussing Leroy's problems with his wife when Leroy's doorbell rang. Leroy answered the door and was handed a paper which the deliverer said was a subpoena. Leroy showed it to Tyrone and asked him if he knew what it was. Tyrone said, "Dis here is a subpeena." "Wut is a sub-peena?" Leroy asked. "Well," said Tyrone, "dat's law talk. Yo wife is suing you for deevorce. We know dat 'sub' means 'unda' and 'peena' is Latin for 'penis', so - 'subpeena' means unda the penis which means she done got you by da balls." ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ A STAR: A performer who makes more than his or her agent. A SUPERSTAR: A performer who makes more than Guatemala. ______________________________________________________ From FB Somewhere in Vermont ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Samuel L. Wilson, 22, Connersville, Indiana Intoxicated mower driver used son as shield, threatened trooper Indiana State Police arrested a Connersville man who allegedly drove a lawn mower while intoxicated, threatened an off-duty trooper with a knife then used his own son as a human shield. Samuel L. Wilson, 22, allegedly drove the lawn mower with his 5-year-old son on board to the home of Indiana State Police Officer Scott McPheeters about 6:15 p.m. Monday, State Police said in a news release. McPheeters was doing yard work as his children played nearby at his home in rural south western Wayne County. Wilson, who police said was "obviously intoxicated," asked for a tow. McPheeters instead offered to call someone who would to give the man a ride, but police said Wilson turned "vulgar and belligerent." McPheeters took his children into his house and called for backup. McPheeters went outside to wait for officers and try to calm Wilson. Wilson, police said, pulled a knife from his belt and threatened McPheeters. McPheeters persuaded Wilson to put down the knife, but police said Wilson refused to cooperate when Cambridge Police Officer Larry Kuhn arrived. "The man resisted and refused to follow directions, and even attempted to use his five-year-old son as a shield," State Police said in the news release. "Officers were able to get the boy free from the man and take him into custody." Wilson was arrested and taken to the Wayne County Jail. Wilson faces initial charges of intimidation, operating a vehicle while intoxicated with a passenger under age 18 and resisting law enforcement. Police said Wilson's blood-alcohol level tested at more than twice the legal driving limit of .08 percent. The boy was released to his custodial parent, police said. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Fred Re: DSL and Fax Dear Webby, Can I run a fax machine on the same line as the DSL ? Thanks Fred Dear Fred Yes, sure. They share the same wire, just like your 144 TV channels share the same wire. Only dial-up and voice and fax can't use the same wire at the same time, but any one of them can have DSL piggy-backing on the same wire. Have FUN! DearWebby From a subscriber who does not have a signature line in her mail: A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?" A girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four animals." The teacher asked, "Really, and what four animals? The little girl said A mink on my back, a jaguar in the Garage, a tiger in bed and a jackass to pay for all of it." The Teacher Fainted
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Teriyaki Bat Wings By Teri Malec P. Teriyaki Bat WingsChicken wings marinated in teriyaki sauce makes a spooky, yet yummy appetizer! Prep Time: 30 mins Cook Time: 45 mins Total Time: 1 hour 15 mins Ingredients: ¼ cup soy sauce ½ cup water 4-5 Tbsp honey (to taste) 1 lb chicken wings, separated into drums and tips Steps: Make the teriyaki sauce with the soy sauce, honey and water. Mix well. Separate the wings. Marinate the chicken in the teriyaki sauce. Refrigerate for a few hours. Make sure the chicken pieces become nice and dark. Bake the wings at 400 degrees F. for about 45 mins, or until crispy.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Roland for this one: My friend called his car insurance company to tell them to change his address from Texas to Vermont. The woman who took the call asked where Vermont was. As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said, "Look, mon, I aint not stupid or nuthin, juss tell me what state it's in."
tree cutting machines!
____________________________________________________ A Sunday school teacher was trying to teach her class about the difference between right and wrong. "All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take all his money, what would I be?" Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, "You'd be his wife!" ____________________________________________________ One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller; You don't love me any more..." "Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook a lot better now." ____________________________________________________
What a great idea to turn an unused hillside into a children's park!
____________________________________________________
Today on October 30 in
1817 The independent government of Venezuela was established
by Simon Bolivar. 

1831 Escaped slave Nat Turner was apprehended in Southampton
County, VA, several weeks after leading the bloodiest slave
uprising in American history. 

1875 The constitution of Missouri was ratified by popular
vote. 

1893 The U.S. Senate gave final approval to repeal the
Sherman Silver Purchase Act of 1890. 

1894 The time clock was patented by Daniel M. Cooper of
Rochester, NY. 

1938 Orson Welles' "The War of the Worlds" aired on CBS
radio. The belief that the realistic radio dramatization was
a live news event about a Martian invasion caused panic among
listeners. 

1945 The U.S. government announced the end of shoe rationing.


1953 General George C. Marshall was awarded the Nobel Peace
Prize. 

1961 The Soviet Union tested a hydrogen bomb with a force of
approximately 58 megatons. 

1961 The Soviet Party Congress unanimously approved an order
to remove Joseph Stalin's body from Lenin's tomb. 

1972 U.S. President Richard Nixon approved legislation to
increase Social Security spending by $5.3 billion. 

1972 In Illinois, 45 people were killed when two trains
collided on Chicago's south side. 

1975 Prince Juan Carlos assumed power in Spain as dictator
Francisco Franco was near death. 

1975 The New York Daily News ran the headline "Ford to City:
Drop Dead." The headline came a day after U.S. President
Gerald R. Ford said he would veto any proposed federal
bailout of New York City. 

1982 Portugal's constitution was revised for the first time
since it was ratified on April 25, 1976. 

1984 In Poland, police found the body of kidnapped pro-
Solidarity priest Father Jerry Popieluszko. His death was
blamed on four security officers. 

1989 Mitsubishi Estate Company announced it would buy 51
percent of Rockefeller Group Inc. of New York. 

1993 Martin Fettman, America's first veterinarian in space,
performed the world's first animal dissections in space,
while aboard the space shuttle Columbia. 

1993 The United Nations deadline concerning ousted Haitian
President Jean-Bertrand Aristide passed with country's
military still in control. 

1995 Federalist prevailed over separatists in Quebec in a
referendum concerning secession from the federation of
Canada. 

1998 The terrorist who hijacked a Turkish Airlines plane and
the 39 people on board was killed when anti-terrorist squads
raided the plane. 

2001 In New York City, U.S. President George W. Bush threw
out the first pitch at Game 3 of the World Series between the
New York Yankees and the Arizona Diamondbacks. 

2001 Michael Jordan returned to the NBA with the Washington
Wizards after a 3 1/2 year retirement. The Wizards lost 93-91
to the New York Knicks.

2016  smiled.


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Mysterious mail bounces 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, October 29

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Texas student crashes SUV into patrol car after
taking topless Snapchat selfie
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 28, in 
1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin.

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was. --- Margaret Mitchell (1900 - 1949) Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves. --- Robert Anton Wilson When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. -- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ My mother was away all weekend at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home collect. My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a stranger's voice say, "We have a Marcia on the line. Will you accept the charges?" Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, "Dad! They've got Mom! And they want money!" ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Chris for this one: As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try to calm him down the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the seats around him. Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, a man in a U.S. Marine Corps uniform is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the flustered mother with an upraised hand, the courtly, soft-spoken Marine leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the boy's ear. Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into spontaneous applause. As the Marine slowly makes his way back to his seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve. "Excuse me, sir," she ask quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words you used on that little boy?" The Marine smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door, on any flight I choose, and that I was just wondering if he was the one to kick out." ______________________________________________________ From FB Frosty Lakes by Saed ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Miranda Kay Radar, 20, Ryan, Texas Texas student crashes SUV into patrol car after taking topless Snapchat selfie A Texas A&M student told police she was taking a topless Snapchat selfie for her boyfriend moments before her SUV slammed into the back of a parked police car. It happened around 8:30 p.m. Wednesday on East Villa Maria Road in Ryan, Texas. According to KBTX, Bryan Police Officer John Sartell approached the vehicle to find the driver, 20-year-old Miranda Kay Radar, wearing an unclasped bra, attempting to put her shirt on. There was also an open bottle of wine in the center console cupholder, police say. When Officer Sartell asked her why she was not dressed, the woman told him she was “taking a Snapchat photo to send to her boyfriend while she was at a red light.” Rader was charged with DWI with an open container and was also issued a citation for minor in possession of alcohol. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Marsha Re: Mysterious mail bounces Dear Webby, Ross, my oldest and blondest brother, thinks he is so smart that he can improve on the way I set the mail up for him. Right now, he told me on the phone, he can mail out to anybody, but if he tries to reply or forward, he gets bounces. What did he do now ? And what do you recommend? Thanks Marsha Dear Marsha Most likely he has his mail set to "Send a copy to self" for forwards and replies. And because he doesn't read his own copies of the replies and forwards anyway, he has himself blocked with some spam control program. He should either take the checkmark off "Send a copy to self", or else stop blocking mail from himself. Have FUN! DearWebby During the weeks before Jill's wedding, she was terribly anxious about making some mistakes at the ceremony. The minister reassured her several times, pointing out that the service was not difficult and she will do just fine. "All you have to remember," he said, "is that when you enter the church you walk up the AISLE. The groom and best man will be waiting before the ALTAR. Then I shall request the congregation to sing a HYMN ....then we shall get on with the ceremony. All you have to remember is the order in which those things happen and you can't go wrong." The happy day finally arrived, and the bridegroom waited nervously for his bride to appear. When she arrived and stood alongside him, he heard her quietly repeating to herself, "Aisle, altar, hymn, aisle, altar, hymn." Or, as it sounded to him, "I'll alter him!" ------------------ For people for whom English is a second language, the word "alter" is normally used with animals, for example a bull is sometimes "altered" and made into an ox, by cutting off his family jewels.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mennonite Baked Corn By GRAPE [12 Posts, 14 Comments] Total Time: 40 minutes Yield: 8 servings Ingredients: 4 cups fresh, frozen or canned corn 4 Tbsp butter 3 Tbsp flour 2 cups milk 2 Tbsp sugar 2 tsp salt 1/4 tsp pepper 2 beaten eggs Steps: Melt butter and add flour over medium heat. Add milk gradually, bring to boil while stirring gradually. Add corn, sugar, salt and pepper, and stir and heat thoroughly. Remove from heat and add beaten eggs. Pour into buttered dish and bake at 350 degrees F for 35 minutes or until firm. YUMMMMY Mennonite recipe!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
A young man goes to a girl's house to pick her up for their first date. She shows him into the living room, then excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them coffee. Looking around the room, the fellow notices a little vase on the mantel. He picks it up to examine it, and as he is looking at it, she walks back in. "What's this?" he asks her. "Oh," she says, "my father's ashes are in there." The young man turns beet red and is speechless as he gently sets the vase back on the mantle. "Yeah," the girl says, "he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray."
cargo ship responds to little girl's request to honk - Thank you Bausell Sailor
____________________________________________________ A Kansas farm couple who are sleeping early one morning, when a tornado roars over their farmhouse. It lifts the roof off, picks up the bed the farmer and his wife are sleeping in and sets them down gently in the next county. The wife begins to cry. "Don't be scared, dear," her husband says. "We're not hurt." The woman continues to cry. "I'm not scared," she says between sobs. "I'm crying because I'm happy. This is the first time in 14 years we've been out together!" ____________________________________________________ From Ardy I just loved your story about Vancouver in the rain. You've always known how to have FUN, haven't you! In 1970, I was 25, divorced and working at one of the computer parts plants in town, Chip-Tronics. It was someone's birthday & I'd bought her a pretty umbrella. I remember telling everyone what a terrible time I had, gift-wrapping it. I went into such detail about all of the wrapping paper I'd torn & had to discard. It went on for 10 minutes, probably.....turning into quite a comedy routine. The 'Seinfeld' writers could have developed a half hour show with the material that I related! I ended my story with the revelation I'd had.....that perhaps if I'd close the umbrella, it might be easier to wrap! ____________________________________________________
Some of these I would like to have!
____________________________________________________
Today on October 29 in

1618 Sir Walter Raleigh was beheaded under a sentence that
had been brought against him 15 years earlier for conspiracy
against King James I. 

1652 The Massachusetts Bay Colony proclaimed itself to be an
independent commonwealth. 

1682 William Penn landed at what is now Chester, PA. He was
the founder of Pennsylvania. 

1863 The International Committee of the Red Cross was
founded. 

1901 Leon Czolgosz, the assassin of U.S. President McKinley,
was electrocuted. 

1923 Turkey formally became a republic after the dissolution
of the Ottoman Empire. The first president was Mustafa Kemal,
later known as Kemal Ataturk. 

1929 America's Great Depression began with the crash of the
Wall Street stock market. 

1940 The first peacetime military draft began in the U.S. 

1945 The first ballpoint pens to be made commercially went on
sale at Gimbels Department Store in New York at the price of
$12.50 each. 

1956 Israel invaded Egypt's Sinai Peninsula during the Suez
Canal Crisis. 

1959 General Mills became the first corporation to use close-
circuit television. 

1960 Muhammad Ali (Cassius Clay) won his first professional
fight. 

1966 The National Organization for Women was founded. 

1969 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered an immediate end to all
school segregation. 

1973 O.J. Simpson, of the Buffalo Bills, set two NFL records.
He carried the ball 39 times and he ran 157 yards putting
him
over 1,000 yards at the seventh game of the season. 

1974 U.S. President Gerald Ford signed a new law forbidding
discrimination in credit applications on the basis of sex or
marital status 

1985 It was announced that Maj. Gen. Samuel K. Doe had won
the first multiparty election in Liberia. 

1990 The U.N. Security Council voted to hold Saddam Hussein's
regime liable for human rights abuses and war damages during
its occupation of Kuwait. 

1991 The U.S. Galileo spacecraft became the first to visit an
asteroid (Gaspra). 

1991 Trade sanctions were imposed on Haiti by the U.S. to
pressure the new leaders to restore the ousted President
Jean-Bertrand Aristide to power. 

1992 Depo Provera, a contraceptive, was approved by the Food
and Drug Administration. 

1995 Jerry Rice of the San Francisco 49ers became the NFL's
career leader in receiving yards with 14,040 yards. 

1998 South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission
condemned both apartheid and violence committed by the
African National Congress. 

1998 The space shuttle Discovery blasted off with John Glenn
on board. Glenn was 77 years old. In 1962 he became the first
American to orbit the Earth. 

1998 The oldest known copy of Archimedes' work sold for $2
million at a New York auction. 

2014 The smartwatch Microsoft Band was released. 

2016  smiled.


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Screaming computer 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, October 28
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Wisconsin teacher passed out drunk on 4th grade 
field trip getting 'rewarded' with a massive payday
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 28, in 
1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin.

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ After two years in Washington, I often long for the realism and sincerity of Hollywood. --- Fred Thompson "Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies." --- Gene Hill ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all, that causes more pain and suffering than any other product, and yet we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea." The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake." ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, my friend trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette. One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her. Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, "Dressed a little casually today, aren't we?" The man replied, "That's the fringe benefit I get for owning the company." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Maria Caya, 53, Janesville, Wisconsin Wisconsin teacher passed out drunk on 4th grade field trip getting 'rewarded' with a massive payday In 2013, students at a Janesville, Wisconsin, elementary school were gearing up for the last day of school. In honor of the quickly-approaching summer vacation, the school's fourth and fifth graders went on a field trip to the local bowling alley. Fourth grade teacher Maria Caya was slated to be one of the field trip's chaperones. No one would imagine Caya would show up drunk and proceed to pass out in the bowling alley bathroom. Found in the bathroom by another faculty member, Caya was rushed to the hospital where she drew a blood alcohol level of .27 — three times the legal driving limit for the state of Wisconsin: In light of the incident, Caya was asked to resign from her job and was paid $18,000 by the school district to do so. According to the school district, firing Caya would have resulted in legal costs exceeding that payout. In the wake of the ordeal, Janesville police released Caya's blood alcohol levels, which prompted Caya to begin a massive $5.5 million lawsuit against the city. The former teacher claimed the department's decision to improperly release her blood alcohol levels caused her stress and public embarrassment. Despite Caya already receiving the $18,000 payout from the school, the City of Janesville agreed to pay her $75,000. According to NBC 15, the nearly six-figure payout was done so that the case wouldn't have to go to trial. With the news of Caya's win, parents have been left disgusted because they believe Caya endangered their children. To make matters even more complicated, it is unclear as to whether the police department broke any laws when it came to releasing Caya's alcohol levels. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Rick Re: Screaming computer Dear Webby, Dear Webby, I had left an old computer at the cabin, so that I could use it for downloading pictures from the camera and burning them onto a CD. Wen we got to the cabin and I turned on the computer, instead of the familiar fan noises there was the most godawful screaching and screaming, like a cat was inside it and slowly getting sliced into little pieces by the fans. I turned it off and took the side cover off, but all I saw in there, aside from the circuit boards and drives, were dust bunnies. What wold cause that awful noise? Rick Dear Rick When the frozen machine starts up, the thin film of grease in the fan bearings gets pushed along into micro dunes that look like miniature fish scales under the microcope. Just like any old grease, it retains the stickiness that is intended to keep it on the job, but it loses it's lubricating qualities and creaks like an old outhouse door. The high speed creaking is what you heard and thought was an animal screaming in pain. Naturally that does not prolong the usable lifetime of that fan. Some of the more modern computers and power supplies don't turn on the fans until there is actual need for cooling. On older equipment, you have to either put up with the screaming for a bit, or else wait until the cabin and the computer warm up. An alternative would be to just buy a larger capacity memory chip for the camera, or if it is from the XP era and has a 2 GB maximum, get a few extra chips. 2 Gb SD chips are getting rather scarce, so it might be a good idea to stock up on them. Have FUN! DearWebby Here's a little slice of golf history that you might enjoy. Why do golf courses have 18 holes - not 20, or 10, or an even dozen? During a discussion among the club's membership board at St. Andrews in 1858, a senior member pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Iron To Remove Nail Polish Remover Stain Regarding nail polish remover spilled on real wood table. Yes! The hot iron with white washcloth worked WONDERS! I was stunned! By Jojo from Texas
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
On her way back from the concession stand, Tricia asked the man at the end of the row, "Sir, did I step on your foot a minute ago?" Expecting an apology the man said, "Indeed you did." Tricia nodded. "Oh, good. Then this is my row."
cargo ship responds to little girl's request to honk - Thank you Bausell Sailor
____________________________________________________ A widow recently married a widower. Soon after the marriage she was accosted by a friend who laughingly remarked - "I suppose, like all men who have been married before, your husband sometimes talks about his first wife?" "Oh, not any more, he doesn't," the other replied. "What stopped him?" "I started talking about my next husband." ____________________________________________________ This happened in England, where people always carry an umbrella, even on the odd days, when it doesn't rain. A man was in the habit of carrying an umbrella wherever he went. Unfortunately, he broke his last good one. Looking at the six useless umbrellas in his umbrella stand, he decided to take them all in and have them repaired. On the bus on the way home, he picked up the umbrella that belonged to the woman sitting next to him, purely out of habit. She immediately cried, "Stop, thief!" and he surrendered the umbrella. Very embarrassed, he quickly got off the bus. The next week he picked up his repaired umbrellas. When he got on the bus with the six umbrellas under his arm, he just so happened to sit next to the very same woman. She gave him an icy stare and said, "Had a good day, huh?" --------------- That reminds me of an umbrella experience I had in Vancouver in the 70's. It rains a lot in Vancouver, but I was new and was caught downtown in a real downpour. I ducked into the entranceway at Sears to escape the worst. While standing there I was idly reading the list of departments and the floors they were on. "Lost and Found Floor 12" caught my eye. So I went up there and asked if they had found my umbrella. "A black one ?" she asked. "Uh, yeah, a black one." I replied. "Telescoping or Gent?" "Uh, Gent." I figured, a hippie like me would naturally carry a gentleman's straight umbrella, not a weird one that might require readig instructions. The lady behind the counter groaned and left. A minute later she came back with a huge armload of black umbrellas. "Take your pick!" She didn't say anything about trying to find mine, just to take my pick. I did. The second one was perfect. No pinholes, smooth action, no rust specks, fine leather handle. Just as I was about to say something that it might be the right one, the lady told me: "Take a couple of spares. I got truckloads of them back there and hate carrying these back there again." I felt so sorry for her, I took the whole armload that she had dumped onto the counter. That made her smile ! Outside again, I gave a couple to the Hare Krishnas who were chanting in the rain and dancing like old drunks who had not noticed that the music had stopped. Then I spotted a mother with a baby carriage, so I ran after her and gave one to her and one to the kid. I had a great time, until I realized that I had given away ALL of the umbrellas. Back at Sears I told the lady at the Lost and Found the truth, and we had a good laugh about it. During the second armload the rain lessened and stopped and when the sun broke through the clouds, I was stuck with one umbrella. Since I felt silly carrying an umbrella when it didn't rain, I left it on the bus. ____________________________________________________
Archaeologists have unearthed a huge ancient settlement in Inner Mongolia.
____________________________________________________
Today on October 28 in
1636 Harvard College was founded in Massachusetts. The
original name was Court of Massachusetts Bay Colony. It was
the first school of higher education in America. 

1776 The Battle of White Plains took place during the
American Revolutionary War. 

1793 Eli Whitney applied for a patent for his cotton gin. 

1886 The Statue of Liberty was dedicated in New York Harbor
by U.S. President Cleveland. The statue weighs 225 tons and
is 152 feet tall. It was originally known as "Liberty
Enlightening the World." 

1904 The St. Louis Police Department became the first to use
fingerprinting. 

1919 The U.S. Congress enacted the Volstead Act, also known
as the National Prohibition Act. Prohibition was repealed in
1933 with the passing of the 21st Amendment to the U.S.
Constitution. 

1922 Benito Mussolini took control of the Italian government
and introduced fascism to Italy. 

1936 The Statue of Liberty was rededicated by U.S. President
Roosevelt on its 50th anniversary. 

1940 During World War II, Italy invaded Greece. 

1949 U.S. President Harry Truman swore in Eugenie Moore
Anderson as the U.S. ambassador to Denmark. Anderson was the
first woman to hold the post of ambassador. 

1958 Angelo Giuseppe Roncalli was elected Pope. He took the
name John XXIII. 

1962 Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev informed the U.S. that
he had ordered the dismantling of Soviet missile bases in
Cuba. 

1965 Pope Paul VI issued a decree absolving Jews of
collective guilt for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. 

1965 The Gateway Arch along the waterfront in St. Louis, MO,
was completed. 

1976 John D. Erlichman, a former aide to U.S. President
Richard Nixon, entered a federal prison camp in Safford, AZ,
to begin serving his sentence for Watergate-related
convictions. 

1983 The U.S. vetoed a U.N. Security Council resolution
"deeply deploring" the ongoing U.S.-led invasion of Grenada. 

1985 John A. Walker Jr. and his son, Michael Lance Walker,
pled guilty to charges of spying for the Soviet Union. 

1986 The centennial of the Statue of Liberty was celebrated
in New York. 

1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French manufacturer that produces the
abortion pill RU486, announced it would resume distribution
of the drug after the government of France demanded it do so.


1990 Iraq announced that it was halting gasoline rationing. 

1993 Ousted Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide, called
for a complete blockade of Haiti to force out the military
leaders. 

1994 U.S. President Clinton visited Kuwait and implied that
all the troops there would be home by Christmas. 

2016  smiled.


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Where can you study Color? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, October 27

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Drunken woman found with handcuffs, guns 
after wrong-way crash on I-4 in Florida
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 27, in 
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the
first Quakers to be executed in America. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ There is nothing more demoralizing than a small but adequate income. --- Edmund Wilson (1895 - 1972) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say Mass for him that day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?" The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not." Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?" The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to brag to? ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ Once there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. She loved them. Alas, they had always had a very embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a man and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and gentle man, he would never go for this carrying on." She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans. Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be late because she had to walk home. On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand. Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. She putt-putted all the way home, and upon arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and exclaimed delightedly,"Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to answer the telephone. The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her vigorously. Then she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for another ten minutes. When the telephone farewells signaled the end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked her if she had peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was really surprised!! There were twelve rather green faced dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!! ______________________________________________________ Fall in Washington, State From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Angela Sammons, 32, Maitland, Floriduh Drunken woman found with handcuffs, guns after wrong-way crash on I-4 A 32-year-old woman was arrested Saturday on DUI charges after she drove the wrong way on Interstate 4 in Maitland and crashed into a barrier, according to the Florida Highway Patrol. FHP said in an arrest report that it received about 13 calls to 911 about the driver, who was going west on I-4 East. Troopers said when they approached the crashed car, Angela Sammons got out of the sedan without shoes, and that when a trooper handed Sammons her shoes she put them on the wrong feet. The FHP report stated Sammons was stumbling and staggering on her feet, and did not know where she was or where she was driving to. Sammons was placed in the back of a patrol car, where she fell asleep, troopers said. FHP said when a trooper woke Sammons up and asked her if she was OK, she slurred her words and said she was tired and wanted to go home. Troopers said Sammons refused a field sobriety and Breathalyzer tests. Channel 9 found out that Sammons was an officer for the Division of Alcoholic Beverages and Tobacco. The state said Sammons voluntarily left her position last year. Troopers said they found multiple Florida driver’s licenses in her purse, and loaded guns and handcuffs in her car. Sammons was booked into the Orange County Jail on charges of driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol, involving a vehicle crash, FHP said. Her bail was set at $500. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Janice Re: Color question Dear Webby, I have been told a few times that my sense of color is barbaric, with clothes too, but mostly with my web pages. Some people suggested I take some time and study up on colors. I have taken a course on color at the community college a few years ago, and I have a hunch, that is where my problem with colors started. Well, I'm still willing to study, but where do I find good info on that topic? Thanks Janice Dear Janice Try Color Matters at colormatters.com/ That site has a lot of information about color, a bulletin board where you can ask questions, and a good reference library for deeper study. Have FUN! DearWebby A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of our largest accounts. He asked my help in putting it into operation. At first, he handled most of the work. Eventually, though, he asked me to help with the last phase of the training. When I sat down with one woman and told her I would be showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed with relief. "I'm so glad you're teaching me instead of him." Surprised, I said that my colleague was far more experienced than I was. "Yes," she said, "but I feel much more comfortable with you. I get nervous around smart people."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ridding Your Kitchen of Fruit Flies By EllenB [805 Posts, 1 Comment] An Easy Fruit Fly Trap After removing all potential sources for feeding and breeding, use this trap to take care of any remaining adult flies. Fill one or more small jars with 1 inch of beer, wine, or Apple Cider Vinegar (not white vinegar). This fermenting liquid is your "bait". Place a plastic sandwich bag over the mouth of the jar, so that one corner reaches down into the jar just above the "bait" (you're creating a funnel). Poke a small, 1/8 inch hole in the corner of the bag with the tip of a pencil. Secure the bag around the rim of the jar with a rubber band. Place the jars around your kitchen or near your problem plants. Since you've already taken away their food supply and breeding grounds, the fruit flies will be searching for more. The "bait" will attract the fruit flies to the traps. They'll enter through the hole in the bottom of the funnel, and not be able to get out.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
At long last the good-humored boss was compelled to call Fisk into his office. "It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium you have to take your aunt to the doctor." "You know you're right, sir," exclaimed Fisk. "I didn't realize it. You don't suppose she's faking it, do you?"
dog loves the leaves
____________________________________________________ Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The guy at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole. Lena replied, "You yust put 'Ole died'" The man, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? Just 'Ole died?' Surely, there must be something more you'd like to say about Ole. If its money you're concerned about, the first five words are free. We must say something more." So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, "O.K. You put 'Ole died. Boat for sale.'" ____________________________________________________ A classic that came back to me from Noah A man owned a small farm in South Georgia. The Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to interview him. "You just give me a list of your employees and tell me how much you pay them." "All right," said the farmer. "I have a hired man. Been with me for three years. I pay him $600 a week, plus room and board. I have a cook. She's been here six months. She gets $500 a week plus room and board." "Anybody else?" asked the agent as he scribbled on a note pad. "Yeah," the farmer said. "There's a half-wit here. Works about eighteen hours a day. I pay him ten dollars a week and give him tobacco." "A ha!" the agent roared. "I want to talk to that half-wit!" "You are talkin' to him," said the farmer. ____________________________________________________
The rare and elusive Spirit bear.
____________________________________________________
Today on October 27 in
1659 William Robinson and Marmaduke Stevenson became the
first Quakers to be executed in America. 

1787 The first of the Federalist Papers were published in the
New York Independent. The series of 85 essays, written by
Alexander Hamilton, James Madison and John Jay, were
published under the pen name "Publius." 

1795 The United States and Spain signed the Treaty of San
Lorenzo. The treaty is also known as "Pinckney's Treaty." 

1858 Roland Macy opened Macy's Department Store in New York
City. It was Macy's eighth business adventure, the other
seven failed. 

1878 The Manhattan Savings Bank in New York City was robbed
of over $3,000,000. The robbery was credited to George
"Western" Leslie even though there was not enough evidence to
convict him, only two of his associates were convicted. 

1904 The New York subway system officially opened. It was the
first rapid-transit subway system in America. 

1925 Fred Waller received a patent for water skis. 

1927 The first newsreel featuring sound was released in New
York. 

1931 Chuhei Numbu of Japan set a long jump record at 26' 2
1/4". 

1938 Du Pont announced "nylon" as the new name for its new
synthetic yarn. 

1947 "You Bet Your Life," the radio show starring Groucho
Marx, premiered on ABC. It was later shown on NBC television.


1954 Marilyn Monroe and Joe DiMaggio were divorced. They had
been married on January 14, 1954. 

1954 The first Walt Disney television show "Disneyland"
premiered on ABC. 

1962 The Soviet Union adds to the Cuban Missile Crisis by
calling for the dismantling of U.S. missile bases in Turkey.
U.S. President Kennedy agreed to the new aspect of the
agreement. 

1978 Egyptian President Anwar Sadat and Israeli Prime
Minister Menachem Begin were named winners of the Nobel Peace
Prize for their progress toward achieving a Middle East
accord. 

1994 The U.S. Justice Department announced that the U.S.
prison population had exceeded one million for the first time
in American history. 

1997 The Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped 554.26 points.
The stock market was shut down for the first time since the
1981 assassination attempt on U.S. President Reagan. 

2002 Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva was elected president of
Brazil in a runoff. He was the country's first elected
leftist leader. 

2016  smiled.


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Add a Sunday line in an Excel graph 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Wednesday, October 26

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
2 found guilty in murder of special needs teen
over his red shoes
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 26, in 
1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile 
canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of 
$7,602,000. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ The sad truth is that excellence makes people nervous. --- Shana Alexander The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists in the circulation of their blood. --- Logan Pearsall Smith (1865 - 1946) "A man may be a fool and not know it -- but not if he is married." --- H.L. Mencken ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me." ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ Recently in Traffic Court, a man who received an expensive parking ticket testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to park there. The Judge asked the man if he would recognise the Officer if he ever saw him again, and the man replied that he would. The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he owes you 57 dollars. Next..." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Kanasho Johns, 29, Kevin Deon Johnson, 26 Los Angeles, California 2 found guilty in murder of special needs teen over his red shoes Two men were found guilty on Monday of first-degree murder in the slaying of a special needs teen, who was gunned down in South Los Angeles allegedly over the color of his shoes. The victim, Price was described as standing under 5 feet tall and weighing less than 90 pounds. Jurors convicted Kanasho Johns, 29, and Kevin Deon Johnson, 26, for the 2015 killing of Tavin Price, described by family members as having special needs. Johns was also convicted of felony possession of a firearm. Prosecutors say Johns and Johnson were two neighborhood Crips members, and they targeted Price because of what he was wearing. Around 11 a.m. last May, Price and his mother, Jennifer Rivers, were at a car wash near the corner of Florence Avenue and Crenshaw Boulevard. Price went into a nearby store, where he was approached by a man who asked Price to remove his shoes. Price then walked back to his mother at the car wash to tell her what the man said. Authorities said the man followed Price back to the car wash and opened fire. Rivers said she tried to run after the shooter but couldn't catch him. In court, Price was depicted as wearing a red T-shirt and red shoes at the time of the shooting. Rivers described her son as having a mental capacity of a 12- year-old, saying he was never affiliated with a gang in his life. Price was also described as standing under 5 feet tall and weighing less than 90 pounds. "This is a stereotypical innocent victim," said deputy district attorney Bobby Zoumberakis. "He's done nothing wrong. He had no criminal record. He had no gang involvement. I think the jury saw that and saw how important it was to get justice for him." A third man, 31-year-old Dwight Kevin Smith, has pleaded guilty to voluntary manslaughter in Price's death. He is set to be sentenced in October. Sentencing for Johns and Johnson is scheduled for Nov. 30. Rivers said she is relieved her sons' killers are heading to prison. "They have to sit there and feel every pain, everything that I feel," she said. "All I could hear every day is my son saying 'Mommy am I going to be alright? I'm not going to die, am I?'" ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Janet Re: Excel: make a Sunday line in a graph Dear Webby, I'm sure glad we got you! Nobody else knows your Excel tricks, and there is nothing in the Excel help about it. I got a graph, where I enter my blood sugar readings. I want the graph to show a line to indicate Sundays. How do I do that? Janet Dear Janet Lets say you choose vertical bars for the sugar readings, with the date below the bottom and the date numbers turned 90 degrees. You probably have a column for the date in your data part. Let's say that is column B and you have the date there increasing by one every row. Start with row 4 and leave the first 3 rows for headers. Don't worry about getting the date number. Just type in the date like 10/16/2016 into B4 If the maximum in the sugar reading lines is 20, then put this formula into the column, where you have Sundays: =IF(WEEKDAY(B4,1)=1,$B$2,0) That formula checks to see if the day code in B4 (using method 1, which is standard) =1 1 is the day code for Sunday, 2 is Monday, 3 is Tuesday, and so on. So, if it IS 1 (Sunday), then the formula uses whatever you have in B2. That number should be a bit bigger than the maximum expected sugar reading, for example 20. If the day code is NOT 1, then the number is 0 You COULD hardwire the 20 from B2 into the formula, but then, if you have to change that to a lower or higher number, you would have to change that in every line. This way you just change it in the look-up cell: B2 Clear enough? Have FUN! DearWebby >From Max The other day I needed to call home, but the only pay phone I could find was in use. So I stood to the side and politely waited until it was free, thinking it would only be a couple of minutes. Five minutes went by, and still the man was on the phone. He was just standing there, not saying a word. Another five minutes went by, and he still wasn't talking. Finally, I tapped him on the shoulder and asked if I could use the phone. I really wouldn't be long, but needed to make an important call. "Hold your horses," he responded, covering the receiver. "I'm talking to my wife."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Holiday Candle Holders By Donna [362 Posts, 373 Comments] This is a great looking and easy to make project for any holiday with a personalization of your stencil theme. Total Time: 1 hour Supplies: empty glass jar(s) with at least one smooth side self stick vinyl sheet (ask at any craft and many Dollar stores) scissors acrylic paint sponge brush(s) tea candle(s) string, twine, or rattan optional: corn kernels, beans, beads, or even pebbles for the bottom of the jar Steps: Draw or copy a shape onto the back of your sheet of vinyl. Cut it out, remove the backing and stick it directly onto your jar, smoothing out any bubbles. Paint your first coat of whatever color you choose onto your jar. It will be thin and streaky, that's OK you will let it dry a bit while making your second jar and come back for two or three coats more. Before the paint becomes totally dry peel off your cut out decal. If you wait until it drys it may pull off some paint and leave less clear edges. Once it is dry, tie some twine or rope along the top neck of the jar and add whatever seeds or beans into the bottom of the jar before adding your tea candle. They make a sweet centerpiece or decoration, don't you think? To avoid having the tea candles sitting at an angle like the right one in the picture, don't use beans or anything coarse for the ballast. Ballast is supposed to be heavy and even. Plaster of Paris with a tea candle pressed into it before it hardens makes a much safer ballast. However, unless you have cats who like knocking things over, you don't normally need a ballast. Gluing some of that sticky feeling drawer liner mesh onto the bottom (outside) is much safer. Also, unless you are a sadist who enjoys seeing people burn their fingers, include a few pieces of spaghetti. They work really well for lighting the candle, pilot lights and even BBQs. Have FUN! DearWebby
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Hey, since we're now living in the time of e-mail and the more common use of the written language, it is time for an English lesson. So, with tongue firmly in cheek, here are some rules to keep in mind: 1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. 4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat). 6. Always avoid annoying alliteration. 7. Be more or less specific. 8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary. 9. Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies. 10. No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad too. 11. Contractions aren't helpful and shouldn't be used. 12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. 13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. 14. One should never generalize. 15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches. 16. Don't use no double negatives. 17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 18. One-word sentences? Eliminate. 19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. 20. The passive voice is to be ignored. 21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas. 22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice. 23. Kill all exclamation points!!!! 24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them. 25. Understatement is probably not the best way to propose earth ahattering ideas. 26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed. 27. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." 28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: resist hyperbole; not one writer in a billion can use it correctly. 29. Puns are for children, not groan readers. 30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. 31. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. 32. Who needs rhetorical questions? 33. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement. 34. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
every picture tells a story - awesome photography
____________________________________________________ A doctor sees the old man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm! The next time the old man had an appointment, the doc says, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" "Just doing what you told me, Doctor. Get a hot mama and be cheerful." "I didn't say that... I said, You've got a heart murmur, be careful..." "You do that, doc! I gotta run now. Mama is waiting!" ____________________________________________________ A spammer had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist. He went there, laid on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better. The psychiatrist asked him a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face. Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers." ____________________________________________________
The rare and elusive Spirit bear.
____________________________________________________
Today on October 26 in
1825 The Erie Canal opened in upstate New York. The 363-mile
canal connected Lake Erie and the Hudson River at a cost of
$7,602,000. 

1854 Charles William Post was born. He was the inventor of
"Grape Nuts," "Postum" and "Post Toasties." 

1858 H.E. Smith patented the rotary-motion washing machine. 

1881 The "Gunfight at the OK Corral" took place in Tombstone,
AZ. The fight was between Wyatt Earp, his two brothers and
Doc Holiday and the Ike Clanton Gang. 

1905 Norway gained independence from Sweden. 

1942 The U.S. ship Hornet was sunk in the Battle of Santa
Cruz during World War II. 

1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf ended. The
battle was won by American forces and brought the end of the
Pacific phase of World War II into sight. 

1949 U.S. President Harry Truman raised the minimum wage from
40 to 75 cents an hour. 

1951 Winston Churchill became the prime minister of Great
Britain. 

1958 Pan American Airways flew its first Boeing 707 jetliner
from New York City to Paris. 

1962 The Soviet Union made an offer to end the Cuban Missile
Crisis by taking their missile bases out of Cuba if the U.S.
agreed to not invade Cuba and would remove Jupiter missiles
in Turkey. 

1967 The Shah of Iran crowned himself and his Queen after 26
years on the Peacock Throne. 

1972 U.S. National security adviser Henry Kissinger declared,
"Peace is at hand" in Vietnam. That was the admission of
defeat of the home front. 

1975 Anwar Sadat became the first Egyptian president to
officially visit to the United States. 

1977 The experimental space shuttle Enterprise successfully
landed at Edwards Air Force Base in California. 

1979 South Korean President Park Chung-hee was shot to death
by Kim Jae-kyu, the head of the Korean Central Intelligence
Agency. 

1980 Israeli President Yitzhak Navon became the first Israeli
head of state to visit Egypt. 

1984 "Baby Fae" was given the heart of baboon after being
born with a severe heart defect. She lived for 21 days with
the animal heart. 

1985 Approximately 110,000 people marched past the U.S. and
Soviet embassies in London to pressure the two countries to
end their arms race. 

1988 Roussel Uclaf, a French pharmaceutical company,
announced it was halting the worldwide distribution of RU-
486. The pill is used to induce abortions. The French
government made the company reverse itself two days later. 

1988 Two whales were freed by Soviet and American
icebreakers. The whales had been trapped for nearly 3 weeks
in an Arctic ice pack. 

1990 The U.S. State Department issued a warning that
terrorists could be planning an attack on a passenger ship or
aircraft. 

1990 Wayne Gretzky became the first NHL player to reach 2,000
points. 

1991 Former Washington Mayor Marion Barry arrived at a
federal correctional institution in Petersburg, VA, to begin
serving a six-month sentence for cocaine possession. 

1992 General Motors Corp. Chairman Robert Stempel resigned
after the company recorded its highest losses in history. 

1992 In Canada, voters rejected the Charlottetown accord,
which was designed to unify the country. 

1993 Deborah Gore Dean was convicted of 12 felony counts of
defrauding the U.S. government and lying to the U.S.
Congress. Dean was a central figure in the Reagan-era HUD
scandal. 

1994 Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin of Israel and Prime
Minister Abdel Salam Majali of Jordan signed a peace treaty. 

1995 Mario Lemieux (Pittsburgh Penguins) scored his 500th
National Hockey League (NHL) career goal against the New York
Islanders in his 605th game. He became the second-fastest
player to attain the plateau. Wayne Gretzky had reached 600
goals by his 575th NHL game. 

1998 A French lab found a nerve agent on an Iraqi missile
warhead. 

2001 It was announced that Fort Worth's Lockheed Martin won a
defense contract for $200 billion over 40 years. The
contract, for the "joint strike fighter," was the largest
defense contract in history. 

2002 Russian authorities pumped a gas into a theater where
separatist rebels held over 800 hostages. The gas killed 116
hostages and all 50 hostage-takers were killed by the gas or
gunshot wounds.

2016  smiled.


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Creating new icons 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Tuesday, October 25

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
California father jailed for 1,503 years 
for repeatedly raping his daughter
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 25, in 
1415 In Northern France, England won the Battle of Agincourt
over France during the Hundred Years' War. Almost 6000
Frenchmen were killed while fewer than 400 were lost by the
English. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them. --- Lily Tomlin (1939 - ) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ >From Noella I called an old school friend on the telephone and asked him what he was doing. He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium, and steel under a constrained environment". I was impressed.... On further inquiring, I learned that he was washing dishes, pots, and pans, with hot water... Under his wife's supervision. ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ Traveling through New England, a motorist stopped for gas in a tiny village. "What's this place called?" he asked the station attendant. "All depends," the native drawled. "Do you mean by them that has to live in this dad-blamed, moth-eaten, dust-covered dump, or by them that's merely enjoying its quaint and picturesque rustic charms for a short spell ?" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Rene Lopez, 41, Fresno, California California father jailed for 1,503 years for repeatedly raping his daughter A man has been given a 1,503-year prison sentence for repeatedly raping his teenage daughter over a four year period. Rene Lopez, 41, was sentenced to the longest-known prison sentence in Fresno Superior Court history, according to the Fresno Bee. A jury in September found Lopez guilty of 186 felony counts of sexual assault, including dozens of counts of rape of a minor. Prosecutors say Lopez’s daughter was first sexually abused by a family friend but that instead of protecting her, Lopez turned her into ‘a piece of property.’ They say the victim was raped two to three times a week from May 2009 to May 2013, when the girl got the courage to leave him. In announcing the punishment, Judge Edward Sarkisian Jr. told Lopez he is a ‘serious danger to society’ and noted that Lopez had never shown remorse and has blamed his daughter for his predicament. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Calla Re: Making icons Dear Webby, I need to make a bunch of icons for vision impaired people. Yes, I know there are tons of icons hidden in Windows and wherever, but I have to make new ones, mostly with just a letter or a number on them. What program do you recommend for that? Calla Dear Calla Icons are just .bmp pictures renamed to .ico Paint your icons 64 x 64 pixels, save them as .BMP files, and close the picture. Then rename them by using the file explorer to .ICO. Then you can highlight a shortcut, select properties, chanege Icon and select your just made .ico picture. There are programs available for making icons, some quite expensive, but all you really need is any graphics program, that will let you save files as .BMP. Have FUN! DearWebby At our local funeral home families are given the chance to chose the music they would like to enter the service to. One family asked to enter to Elvis Presley's hit, "Love me Tender." The day of the funeral arrived and the music was started ready for the family to walk in to the service. Unfortunately the wrong track number was entered into the CD player, and the family found themselves walking in to, "Return to Sender."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Making a Mosquito Trap Because mosquitoes are attracted to the CO2 we breathe out, I started looking for ideas that used CO2 as the bait for the mosquito trap. I did think of dry ice but it does dissipate fairly quickly. I found a cached link on Google here. It seems to be active again now. I've rewritten the instructions some and hopefully it will work as well. Thanks to the students for their hard work on this project. I've used some of their photos for illustration. Supplies: 1 2 liter soda bottle a sharp knife black paper tape candy thermometer Take a 2 liter soda bottle. Cut off the top right below where it starts to narrow for the top, invert and place inside the lower half. Make a simple sugar syrup. Ingredients: 1 cup sugar 1 cup water 2 cups cool water 1 tsp. active dry yeast Directions: Bring 1 cup of the water to a boil. Dissolve the sugar into the boiling water. Once the sugar is dissolved completely, remove the pan from the heat. Stir in 2 cups cool water, stir well. Check the temperature of the syrup to make sure it is no hotter than 90 degrees F, if hotter, let cool to 90 degrees F, add 1 tsp. active dry yeast, no need to mix. Put syrup in the bottom part of the bottle, using the cut off neck piece, leave in place. Be sure to seal the two parts of the bottle with the tape. The fermenting yeast will release carbon dioxide. Put black paper around the bottle since mosquitoes like dark places and carbon dioxide. This mosquito trap will then start working.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said, "You know, 80 percent of all men think the best way to end a fight is to make love." "Well," said the other, "that will certainly revolutionize hockey and wrestling!"
she's either channeling Aretha or had too much sugar - super cute!
____________________________________________________ Q: What did God say after creating man? A: "I can do so much better." Q: What did he say after he created woman? A: "OOOPS!!" And neither God nor man has rested since. ____________________________________________________ To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chick Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and studied it with an appraising eye. "We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said finally. "Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That's the owner. The food starts on the next page." ____________________________________________________
Great Halloween light show in Mobile, AL.
____________________________________________________
Today on October 25 in

1415 In Northern France, England won the Battle of Agincourt
over France during the Hundred Years' War. Almost 6000
Frenchmen were killed while fewer than 400 were lost by the
English. 

1812 During the War of 1812, the U.S. frigate United States
captured the British vessel Macedonian. 

1854 The Charge of the Light Brigade took place during the
Crimean War. The British were winning the Battle of Balaclava
when Lord James Cardigan received an order to attack the
Russians. He took his troops into a valley and suffered 40
percent caualties. Later it was revealed that the order was
the result of confusion and was not given intentionally. 

1870 The first U.S. trademark was given. The recipient was
the Averill Chemical Paint Company of New York City. 

1917 The Bolsheviks (Communists) under Vladimir Ilyich Lenin
seized power in Russia. 

1929 Alber B. Fall, of U.S. President Harding's cabinet, was
found guilty of taking a bribe. He was sentenced to a year in
prison and fined $100,000. 

1951 In Panmunjom peace talks concerning the Korean War
resumed after 63 days. 

1954 A U.S. cabinet meeting was televised for the first time.


1955 The microwave oven for home use was introduced by The
Tappan Company. 

1958 U.S. Marines withdrew from Beirut, Lebanon. They had
been sent in on July 25, 1958, to protect the nation's pro-
Western government. 

1960 The Accutron watch by the Bulova Watch Company was
introduced. 

1962 U.S. Ambassador Adlai Stevenson presented photographic
evidence to the United Nations Security Council. The photos
were of Soviet missile bases in Cuba. 

1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and
admit mainland China. 

1983 U.S. troops and soldiers from six Caribbean nations
invaded Grenada to restore order and provide protection to
U.S. citizens after a recent coup within Grenada's Communist
(pro-Cuban) government. 

1990 It was announced by U.S. Defense Secretary Dick Cheney
that the Pentagon was planning to send 100,000 more troops to
Saudi Arabia. 

2000 AT&T Corp. announced that it would restructure into a
family of four separately traded companies (consumer,
business, broadband and wireless). 

2001 It was announced that scientists had unearthed the
remains of an ancient crocodile which lived 110 million years
ago. The animal, found in Gadoufaoua, Niger, grew as long as
40 feet and weighed as much as eight metric tons. 

2016  smiled.


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How to make desktop icons on W10 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Monday, October 24

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
First Lesbian Bishop Orders Church Crosses Replaced 
with Islamic Symbols
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 23, in 
1632 Scientist Anthony van Leeuwenhoek was born in Delft,
Holland. He created the first microscope lenses that were
powerful enough to observe single-celled animals. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had. --- I. F. Stone (1907 - 1989) Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. --- Douglas Adams ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Chris for sending back this one: (I know, good jokes always come back, but has it been a year already ?) Ma and Pa were two hillbillies living in West Virginia out on a farm up in the hills. Pa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Ma that he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole. Ma says, "Why don't you go ask the young'n down the road? He must be smart 'cause he's a college gradjyate." So Pa drives down to the neighbor's house and asks him, "Mr. College gradjyate, my outhouse hole is full, and I don't know what to do to empty it." The young'n tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air. While it's in the air the second one will then go off and spread the poop all across your farm, fertilizing your ground. The outhouse should then come back down to the same spot atop the now empty hole." Pa thanks the neighbor, then drives to the hardware store and picks up two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. He goes home and puts them under the outhouse. He then lights them and runs behind a tree. All of a sudden, Ma comes running out of the house and into the outhouse! Off goes the first stick of dynamite, shooting the outhouse into the air. BOOM! Off goes the second stick of dynamite, spreading poop all over the farm. WHAM! The outhouse comes crashing back down atop the hole. Pa races to the outhouse, throws open the door and asks, "Ma, are you all right??!!" As she pulls up her pants, she says... "Yeah, but I'm sure glad I didn't fart in the kitchen. ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ There once was a conservative college in the east coast that had a standing rule, the heat was to be turned on in the dormitories when the school went on winter time. Unfortunately, this year, winter decided to start a bit earlier. Students in both the men's and women's dormitories complained about the bitter cold, but were told that nothing could be done. After days of no heat and no respite in immediate sight, the ladies realized that their dorm faced the equally cold men's dorm. They turned a bed sheet into a banner with the message, "TURN ON THE HEAT OR WE'LL TURN ON THE BOYS!" The thermostat was turned up rather hastily. ______________________________________________________ Thanks to Lillemor for this picture I was trying to park and finally I had to get out to scare the iguana away becouse he was in the space... he was funny as he didn’t even care how close the car came, he just knew I wouldnt hurt him. Kind of cool-I like them ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Eva Brunne, Bishop Stockholm, Sweden First Lesbian Bishop Orders Church Crosses Replaced with Islamic Symbols Here is a clear case of religious suicide. The Bishop of Stockholm has proposed a church in her diocese (of course it is not HER church) remove all signs of the cross and put down markings showing the direction to Mecca for the benefit of Muslim worshippers. Eva Brunne, who was made the world’s first openly lesbian bishop by the church of Sweden in 2009, and has a young son with her wife and fellow lesbian priest Gunilla Linden, made the suggestion to make those of other faiths more welcome. This kind of decision has unexpected consequences. First off, the first wave of Sharia Islamists are within their rights to take the lesbian bishop up to the steeple and throw her off. After all, she is a an Infidel, a woman speaking in public and she is homosexual…all crimes deserving death. Then they will burn the church down to celebrate. The church targeted is the Seamen’s mission church in Stockholm’s eastern dockyards. The Bishop held a meeting there this year and challenged the priest to explain what he’d do if a ship’s crew came into port who weren’t Christian but wanted to pray. Calling Muslim guests to the church “angels“, the Bishop later took to her official blog to explain that removing Christian symbols from the church and preparing the building for Muslim prayer doesn’t make a priest any less a defender of the faith. Rather, to do any less would make one “stingy towards people of other faiths”. The bishop insisted this wasn’t an issue, after all airports and hospitals already had multi-faith prayer rooms, and converting the dockyard church would only bring it up to speed. Regardless, the announcement has aroused protest. Father Patrik Pettersson, one of the priests in her diocese and active in the same parish as the Seaman’s mission church has hit back in a blog of his own, complaining there is no way you could equate a consecrated church with a prayer room, remarking “I should have thought a bishop would be able to tell the difference”. The actual priest at the Seaman’s mission was left nonplussed by the comments of the Bishop when contacted by Dagen.se for comment. As an independent mission the church operates outside of the diocese, and so the bishop has no authority there, a fact reflected by the response of the church director who said the bishop’s words were her business alone. When asked whether she would be removing the cross from her church, Kiki Wetterberg responded: “I have no problem with Muslim or Hindu sailors coming here and praying. But I believe that we are a Christian church, so we keep the symbols. If I visit a mosque I do not ask them to take down their symbols. It’s my choice to go in there”. The upper echelons of the Church of Sweden, much like other national churches across Europe, seem to be fully invested in the diversity mission. A parish church in multicultural paradise Malmö declared it would be holding a service in solidarity with the local Muslim community as a protest against a march by anti-Islamisation movement PEGIDA in the city. The priest responsible told media: “During the protest, the Swedish Church is going to hold a service where we express joy for our city and our Muslim friends. “There is strong support for diverse cultures in Malmö and it is important that the church is there to support that”. Malmö is Sweden’s gateway to Europe, and is the main point of ingress to the Nordic nations for the thousands of migrants travelling through Europe from Africa and the East who have decided to make it home. Source: Breitbart As a major bottleneck into the region, with a single bridge and ferry route connecting the country to the rest of Europe, the arrival of these migrants has heralded an unprecedented level of criminality in the city. Describing the ‘no-go’ zones that have sprung up around the city and calling for greater border controls to get criminal migration under control, Chief Superintendent Torsten Elofsson said: “Years ago you could go with two officers, no problem. Now you have to send four officers and two cars – if the fire brigade want to go, they have to take a police escort. They throw stones and try to stop the fireman from putting out fires. “They sabotage the police cars. You can’t leave them unguarded – when you come back to it you find the windows smashed and the tyres deflated. It isn’t quite a no-go zone, but we have had to develop special routines to go there”. Of course the bishop is a liberal, so she never sees the problems. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Carol Re: Make icons on W10 Dear Webby, Would you tell me how to make icons on my desktop? It does not work the same way with 10 as it did with previous versions. Thanks, Carol Dear Carol I have so far avoided W10, but according to the instructions the procedure is the same. Use the file explorer to find the program that you want an icon for, right-click on its ".exe" file and select Send To > Desktop (Create shortcut). You will see that its shortcut has been created on your Windows desktop. If you have a stash of better icons, right-click that icon, Properties, Change Icon, and browse to the one, that you want. Have FUN! DearWebby A Texan, a Scot and a Californian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the Texan, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened. "Well," said the Texan, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Californian and the Scot and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and said that for a donation of $50, we could return to earth. So of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the next thing I knew was back here." "That's amazing!" said the one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?" "Last I saw them," replied the Texan, "the Scot was haggling over the price and the Californian was waiting for the government to pay his."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Personalized Serving Tray By Sandy [55 Posts, 45 Comments] Total Time: 8 hours depending on how long the urethane needs to dry Yield: 1 Supplies: 1 wooden tray stain - Minwax penetrating stain 2 latex gloves to protect your hands saying - I used one from the Dollar store wood glue - Titebond III 4 wood beads, marbles or whatever you choose for the bottom Minwax spar urethane spray finish Steps: I sanded the wood tray; just to be sure there were no rough edges. Stain the tray making sure to use the gloves! Let the stain dry completely before moving on to the next step. This might take overnight, depending on what time of day you get started. Choose the placement of your message. Apply the saying. I used a urethane spray finish over the entire tray, (top, sides, and bottom). Again, this will need to dry before going to the next step. I used Titebond III wood glue to affix the wood beads to the bottom of the tray. You are now ready to enjoy or give as a gift.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
One night a father was helping his son with his homework. The father asked "What is the Gross National Product?". Without any hesitation, the little boy replied "Broccoli!"
Crankin' Up the 3-String Shovel Guitar!
____________________________________________________ Test answers: - A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities. - Syntax is all the money collected at the church from synners. - In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah. - A census taker is man who goes from house to house and increases the population. ____________________________________________________ Every morning for years, at about 11:30, the telephone operator in a small Sierra-Nevada town received a call from a man asking the exact time. One day the operator summed up nerve enough to ask him why the regularity. "I'm foreman of the local sawmill," he explained. "Every day I have to blow the whistle at noon so I call you to get the exact time." The operator giggled, "That's really funny," she said. "All these years we've been setting our clock by your whistle. ____________________________________________________
It's Fall y'all!
____________________________________________________
Today on October 24 in
1632 Scientist Anthony van Leeuwenhoek was born in Delft,
Holland. He created the first microscope lenses that were
powerful enough to observe single-celled animals. 

1648 The Holy Roman Empire was effectively destroyed by the
Peace of Westphalia that brought an end to the Thirty Years
War. 

1795 The country of Poland was again divided up between
Austria, Prussia, and Russia.

1836 Alonzo D. Phillips received a patent for the phosphorous
friction safety match. 

1861 The first transcontinental telegraph message was sent
when Justice Stephen J. Field of California transmitted a
telegram to U.S. President Lincoln. 

1901 Daredevil Anna Edson Taylor became the first person to
go over Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. She was 63 years
old. 

1929 In the U.S., investors dumped more than 13 million
shares on the stock market. The day is known as "Black
Tuesday." 

1931 The upper level of the George Washington Bridge opened
for traffic between New York and New Jersey. 

1939 Nylon stockings were sold to the public for the first
time in Wilmington, DE. 

1940 In the U.S., the 40-hour workweek went into effect under
the Fair Labor Standards Act of 1938. 

1945 The United Nations (UN) was formally established less
than a month after the end of World War II. 

1948 The term "cold war" was used for the first time. It was
in a speech by Bernard Baruch before the Senate War
Investigating Committee. 

1960 All remaining American-owned property in Cuba was
nationalized. The process of nationalizing all U.S. and
foreign-owned property in Cuban had begun on August 6, 1960. 

1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, U.S. military forces
went on the highest alert in the postwar era in preparation
for a possible full-scale war with the Soviet Union. The U.S.
blockade of Cuba officially began on this day. 

1969 Richard Burton bought his wife Elizabeth Taylor a 69-
carat Cartier diamond ring for $1.5 million. Burton presented
the ring to Taylor several days later. 

1986 Britain broke off relations with Syria after a Jordanian
was convicted in an attempted bombing. The evidence in the
trial led to the belief that Syria was involved in the attack
on the Israeli jetliner. 

1992 The Toronto Blue Jays became the first non-U.S. team to
win the World Series. 

2001 The U.S. House of Representatives approved legislation
that gave police the power to secretly search homes, tap all
of a person's telephone conversation and track people's use
of the Internet. 

2001 The U.S. stamp "United We Stand" was dedicated. 

2001 NASA's 2001 Mars Odyssey spacecraft successfully entered
orbit around Mars. 

2002 Microsoft Corp. and Walt Disney Co. announced the
release of an upgraded MSN Internet service with Disney
content. 

2003 In London, the last commercial supersonic Concorde
flight landed.

2016  smiled.


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Mysterious old icons 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Sunday, October 23

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Ohio man jailed after donating bag to charity with 
pictures of him raping toddler inside
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 23, in 
1915 Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to 
vote with a march in New York City, NY.

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it. --- Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ "What did Father say when he learned you're pregnant?" asked Little Mary's mother. Little Mary answered, "Should I leave out the profanity?" "Yes, of course!" Mary's mom replied. "Nothing." ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus: 1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die. 2. An old friend who once saved your life. 3. The perfect woman (or man) you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car. Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application. You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again. Which one would you offer a ride ? Here is what I would do: I would give the car keys to my old friend, so that he can warm up while he takes the old lady to the hospital. And I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams, and hope the bus is stuck in the snow somehwere." ______________________________________________________ Cascade Mountain in Banff from FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Gary Sovie, 49, Columbus, Ohio Ohio man jailed after donating bag to charity with pictures of him raping toddler inside A man who donated a bag to charity that contained photos of him raping a toddler has been jailed for 17 years. Gary Sovie, 49, had given a tote bag of belongings into a second-hand store in Columbus, Ohio, which also contained the photographs. A Salvation Army worker found 32 photos, some showing a naked young girl and others showing the man sexually assaulting the child. It’s believed the Polaroids date as far back as 1999. The bag was traced back to Sovie by the authorities because, as well as the photos, it also contained some of his post and receipts. When he was arrested, Sovie told officers that he’s a ‘very sick person’. The victim’s mother told the court that the photos were taken when her daughter was between 16 and 18 months old. She also told local station WBNS-TV that her daughter ‘never suspected this. She has no memory. She has no recollection of this incident. ‘I was beside myself. This was my child. This was my whole world’. Sovie pleaded guilty to rape and pandering sexually orientated matter involving a minor. He was sentenced to 17 years in prison, and fined $35,000 (£28,600) as well as court costs. He has also been placed on the sex offenders’ register. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From Gina Re: Old icons Dear Webby, I have a lot of old icons which at one time were in frequent enough use so that I shortened the title under them. But now I got too many of those No-Name icons. What is the easiest way to find out what each of them is about, without starting up what they stand for ? Thanks, Gina Dear Gina click on an icon to highlight it, hold down the ALT key and double-click it. That gives you all the info you might want and probably alot more. Have FUN! DearWebby A convict managed to escape from prison and his escape was the lead item on the six o'clock news. So that he would not be captured, he ran through fields and traveled through back woods until he reached his wife's house just shortly after the police stake-out departed. When he reached the house, he rang the bell, his wife opened the door and screamed, "You lousy bum! Where and with whom have you been? You escaped two days ago!"
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Labels from Glass Jars By lalala... [774 Posts, 103 Comments] In my quest to reclaim a Mason jar (specifically Classico pasta sauce jars) I needed to soak off the labels. I submerged the jars in hot water and let them sit until the paper was easy to pull off. The best part with the Classico jars is that the glue they use is also water soluble! So I was able to remove the glue with hot soapy water. With other jar, I removed the glue with Goo Gone and a paper towel. I was amazed at how well this worked! Steam from a regular steam iron works well and very fast with any label I have ever come across. Have FUN! DearWebby
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
The kindergarten class had settled down to its coloring books. Willie came up to the teacher's desk and said, "Miss Francis, I ain't got no crayons." "Willie," Miss Francis said, "you mean, "I don't have any crayons. You don't have any crayons. We don't have any crayons. They don't have any crayons. Do you see what I'm getting at?" "Not really," Willie said, "If nobody ain't got no crayons, then what happened to all them crayons that nobody ain't not got?"
cat says no more to bath
____________________________________________________ Dr. Leroy, the head psychiatrist at the local mental hospital, is examining patients to see if they're cured and ready to re-enter society. "So, Mr. Clark," the doctor says to one of his patients, "I see by your chart that you've been recommended for dismissal. Do you have any idea what you might do once you're released?" The patient thinks for a moment, then replies, "Well, I went to school for mechanical engineering. That's still a good field, good money there. "But on the other hand, I thought I might go back to college and study art history, which I've grown interested in lately, or maybe website design." Dr. Leroy nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like intriguing possibilities." The patient replies, "And the best part is, in my spare time, I can continue being a teapot and post stuff to Yahoo groups." ____________________________________________________ According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: Wash. Biol. Surv. until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper: "Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you, it was horrible." The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service. ____________________________________________________
If I could paint like this I would spend all my time painting!
____________________________________________________
Today on October 23 in
1864 During the U.S. Civil War, Union forces led by Gen.
Samuel R. Curtis defeated the Confederate forces in Missouri
that were under Gen. Stirling Price. 

1910 Blanche S. Scott became the first woman to make a public
solo airplane flight in the United States. 

1915 Approximately 25,000 women demanded the right to vote
with a march in New York City, NY. 

1929 In the U.S., the Dow Jones Industrial Average plunged
starting the stock-market crash that began the Great
Depression. 

1942 During World War II, the British began a major offensive
against Axis forces at El Alamein, Egypt. 

1944 During World War II, the Battle of Leyte Gulf began. 

1946 The United Nations General Assembly convened in New York
for the first time. 

1956 Hungarian citizens began an uprising against Soviet
occupation. On November 4, 1956 Soviet forces enter Hungary
and eventually suppress the uprising. 

1956 NBC broadcasted the first videotape recording. The tape
of Jonathan Winters was seen coast to coast in the U.S. 

1958 Russian poet and novelist Boris Pasternak was awarded
the Nobel Prize for literature. He was forced to refuse the
honor due to negative Soviet reaction. Pasternak won the
award for writing "Dr. Zhivago". 

1962 During the Cuban Missile Crisis, the U.S. naval
"quarantine" of Cuba was approved by the Council of the
Organization of American States (OAS). 

1962 The U.S. Navy reconnaissance squadron VFP-62 began
overflights of Cuba under the code name "Blue Moon." 

1971 The U.N. General Assembly voted to expel Taiwan and seat
Communist China. 

1973 U.S. President Richard M. Nixon agreed to turn over the
subpoenaed tapes concerning the Watergate affair. 

1978 China and Japan formally ended four decades of hostility
when they exchanged treaty ratifications. 

1985 U.S. President Reagan arrived in New York to address the
U.N. General Assembly. 

1989 Hungary became an independent republic, after 33 years
of Soviet rule. 

1992 Japanese Emperor Akihito became the first Japanese
emperor to stand on Chinese soil. 

1995 Russian President Boris Yeltsin and U.S. President Bill
Clinton agree to a joint peacekeeping effort in the war-torn
Bosnia. 

1998 Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and
Palestinian Chairman Yasser Arafat reach a breakthrough in a
land-for-peace West Bank accord. 

1998 Japan nationalized its first bank since World War II. 

2000 Universal Studios Consumer Products Group (USCPG) and
Amblin Entertainment announced an unprecedented and exclusive
three-year worldwide merchandising program with Toys "R" Us,
Inc. The deal was for the rights to exclusive "E.T. The
Extra-Terrestrial" merchandise starting in fall 2001. The
film was scheduled for re-release in the spring of 2002. 

2001 NASA's Mars Odyssey spacecraft began orbiting Mars. In
2010, it became the longest-operating spacecraft ever sent to
Mars. 

2016  smiled.


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What resolution for pictures? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Saturday, October 22

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Floriduh Women vandalize home with duct tape, animal feces
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 22, in 
1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute
jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet. 

See More of what happened on this day in history.
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy. --- Janet Long A good friend will come and bail you out of jail... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Darn...that was fun." --- Cato Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching. --- Socratex ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex." "But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied. "I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry." ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said, "You think you have family problems? I'm from West Virginia. Tings get a lot more complicated there. A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter, and we got married. Later my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter my stepmother and my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law. "Then the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father's son, but he was also the son of my wife's daughter, which made him my wife's grandson. That made me the grandfather of my half-brother. "This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother. This makes my father the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife. I'm my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew and I'm my own grandfather! "And you think you have family problems!" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Nikki Rowena Sismanidis, 18, Jasmine Marie Suarez, 19, Gainesville, Floriduh Floriduh Women vandalize home with duct tape, animal feces Two Gainesville women were arrested Saturday afternoon after police said they broke into the home of an acquaintance and vandalized the bedroom using duct tape and animal feces, according to a Gainesville Police Department report. Police said Nikki Rowena Sismanidis, 18, and Jasmine Marie Suarez, 19, both of whom reside at 1000 SW 62nd Blvd., allegedly broke into the Southwest Ninth Way home of a common friend. Once inside, the pair allegedly placed strips of duct tape on the victim’s bedroom walls, which caused damage to the painted walls when later removed, the report said. Also, a large portion of one wall was covered in a pattern using duct tape that spelled out an expletive and police said the pair planted animal feces on the victim's bed. The victim told police that Sismanidis has become hostile in the past when she chooses not to hang out with her, and on the previous day, the victim did not respond to texts from Sismanidis asking the victim to hang out. According to the report, both Sismanidis and Suarez admitted their involvement in the burglary and vandalism during a phone conversation with the victim and they arrived during the officers on-scene investigation and admitted their involvement to police. Both Sismanidis and Suarez were arrested and charged with burglary and criminal mischief. They were taken to the Alachua County jail, where they were released Sunday on their own recognizance. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Doris Re: Printer resolution Dear Webby, What is the best dots per inch resolution for saving pictures in? Doris Dear Doris Save an original in the highest resolution possible. If disk space is limited, you can save cropped or edited versions at lower resolutions, but save the original! If a picture is for the net, 72 DPI is enough, though sometimes you can fake a higher resolution by for example saving a picture at a larger size and then forcing the browser to recalculate to a smaller size. It slows down the page, but occasionally makes a picture look sharper. When it comes to printing, nowadays the sharpness is set during the page set-up. If you select inkm or toner saving mode, the picture will not be as clear and sharp as when you select Best Quality. Toner Saving mode is "Good enough for Government work". If you have to scan anything to send to the governement, or even a prescription to fax to Costco, the lowest quality is good enough. It is still quite readable. To hang it on the wall, use highest quality. With today's printers, don't worry about dots per inch. Have FUN! DearWebby At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied "Yes, I am, I married the wrong man."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Mummy Pizzas By lalala... [775 Posts, 103 Comments] These tasty pizzas are really easy to make and easy to customize for picky eaters. Just about any topping can be layered underneath the cheese. Ingredients: English muffins string cheese mini pepperoni spaghetti sauce black olives, sliced additional toppings, optional Steps: Split the English muffins in half and arrange them on a baking sheet. Then spread spaghetti sauce onto each muffin. Add mini pepperoni to the muffins. Then add olive slices. Pull apart the string cheese into strips and lay them onto the muffins, criss crossing the strings of cheese. Add two olive slices to each pizza and put a mini pepperoni in the center for the eyes. Bake at 350 degrees F for 10-12 minutes, or until cheese is melted.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
Leroy was telling his friend Bubba about the date he had the night before, "It was a bummer. She used four letter words all evening." Bubba exclaimed, "Really? I can't believe you didn't enjoy that." "Guess again," said Leroy, "All night she kept saying 'Quit,' 'Stop,' and 'Don't!'"
They had a noise complaint from the neighbors
____________________________________________________ Settings WILL be changed! ____________________________________________________ Two kids are talking to each other. One says, "I'm really worried. My dad works twelve hours a day to give me a nice home and good food. My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for me. I'm worried sick!" The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about? Sounds to me like you've got it made!" The first kid says, "What if they escape?" ____________________________________________________
Beautiful ethereal paintings on fallen leaves.
____________________________________________________
Today on October 22 in

1746 The College of New Jersey was officially chartered. It
later became known as Princeton University. 

1797 Andre-Jacques Garnerin made the first recorded parachute
jump. He made the jump from about 3,000 feet. 

1836 Sam Houston was inaugurated as the first
constitutionally elected president of the Republic of Texas. 

1844 This day is recognized as "The Great Disappointment"
among those who practiced Millerism. The world was expected
to come to an end according to the followers of William
Miller. 

1879 Thomas Edison conducted his first successful experiment
with a high-resistance carbon filament. 

1907 The Panic of 1907 began when depositors began
withdrawing money from many New York banks. 

1939 The first televised pro football game was telecast from
New York. Brooklyn defeated Philadelphia 23-14. 

1954 The Federal Republic of Germany was invited to join the
North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO). 

1962 U.S. President Kennedy went on radio and television to
inform the United States about his order to send U.S. forces
to blockade Cuba. The blockade was in response to the
discovery of Soviet missile bases on the island. 

1968 Apollo 7 splashed down in the Atlantic Ocean. The
spacecraft had orbited the Earth 163 times. 

1975 Air Force Technical Sergeant Leonard Matlovich was
discharged after publicly declaring his homosexuality. His
tombstone reads " "A gay Vietnam Veteran. When I was in the
military they gave me a medal for killing two men and a
discharge for loving one." 

1979 The ousted Shah of Iran, Mohammad Riza Pahlavi,
installed in Iran by the US but later abandoned, was allowed
into the U.S. for medical treatment. 

1981 The Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization
was decertified by the federal government for its strike the
previous August. 

1983 At the Augusta National Golf Course in Georgia, an armed
man crashed a truck through front gates and demanded to speak
with U.S. President Ronald Reagan. 

1986 U.S. President Reagan signed the Tax Reform Act of 1986
into law. 

1998 Pakistan's carpet weaving industry announced that they
would begin to phase out child labor. 

1999 China ended its first-ever human rights conference in
which it defied Western definitions of civil liberties. 

1999 The U.N. Security Council voted to send 6,000 troops to
Sierra Leone to oversee a peace plan that had been signed in
July. 

2008 The iTunes Music Store reached 200 million applications
downloaded. 

2010 The Internation Space Station set the record (3641 days)
for the longest continuous human occupation of space. It had
been continously inhabited since November 2, 2000. 

2014 The iPad Air 2 was released in the U.S. 

2016  smiled.


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MailWasher on Android 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Friday, October 21
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
58-year-old woman beats rapist with crowbar, 
knocks him unconscious
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 21, in 
1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words 
per minute on a manual typewriter. 
See More of what happened on this day
in history.

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ I'm not sure I want popular opinion on my side -- I've noticed those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts. --- Bethania McKenstry ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A guy goes to the psychiatrist. "Doctor," says the guy, "I feel as if I'm two different people! Two totally different personalities. Do you think I need help? Can you help me? Am I doing the right thing seeing a psychiatrist?" "Whoah! Whoah! Whoah!" says the doc. "Please, one at a time." ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ >From Edison As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, "All right! All you worthless morons fall out!" As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained standing at attention. The Instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then raised a single eyebrow. I smiled and said, "Sure were a lot of 'em, huh sir?" ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Dorval Grice, 30, Chicago, Illinois 58-year-old woman beats rapist with crowbar, knocks him unconscious A 58-year-old woman was able to defend herself during a sexual assault by beating her attacker with a crowbar and knocking him unconscious. Dorval Grice, the woman’s longtime neighbor, has been charged with home invasion and aggravated criminal sexual assault. Prosecutors said the woman was sleeping in her Chicago home Monday when Grice, 30, broke in through an unlatched living room window, according to DNAinfo The woman woke up to Grice pulling her hair and demanding sex. Prosecutors said when the woman refused his demands, he punched her in the head several times, pulled off her underwear and forced himself on her. The woman was able to break free and beat Grice in the head with a mug she was able to grab from her nightstand. She then reached for a crowbar that she keeps nearby for protection and beat him unconscious, according to prosecutors. The woman called 911, and police arrived to find her covered in blood. She was taken to a nearby hospital for evaluation. Grice is being held on $250,000 bail. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Robert Re: Mailwasher on cell phone Dear Webby, does mailwasher have version to work with a cell phone (Android)? Robert Dear Robert Yes, sure. They even have an app for Android. Basically, MailWasher works on the server level, and cleans the mail up there, without downloading more than the header. With your widdle Android Pokemon-Chaser that is quite important! MailWasher users have enjoyed that benefit since the mid 90's. We don't download the crap and THEN wash it. We let MailWasher wash it on the server. You get a safe digest of what is up on the server, with anything suspicious already marked for deleting. It exposes hidden, underlying addreses and helps you make quick decisions. You can additionally make filters to override all that helpfulness. For example, if aunt Martha often mixes up Vinegar and the stuff mentioned in spam, you can mark her as a Friend, or even make a filter to safeguard her entire family. You can use all the regular expressions in filters, like and, and not, and not but if, and-or, etc. And you do it all with pull-down selectors. It is quite civilized and has been around for about 20 years now. Mailwasher also has a recycle bin. You can rescue deleted mails from there. Have FUN! DearWebby From Bella, a classic I have not printed for years: The fragrance department of a major New York City store where I shop is always pushing the latest scents. Attractive models move about the floor offering to spray customers with the newest bouquet. One day, outside the store's restaurant, a model sprayed two women who had just finished their lunch. When one woman com- mented that the perfume was too strong, the model replied, "The fragrance will be softer once it dries and the alcohol wears off." "See!" her friend chided. "I told you not to have that second drink."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Choosing Storage Containers By ShirleyE [107 Posts, 66 Comments] I am a naturally untidy and disorganised person and this one tip makes a huge difference to the state of my cupboards shelves and drawers: Never impulse buy a storage container, whether it's for food, finances, crafts, shoes, nuts and bolts or toys. You know how it is, you finally decide it's about time you sorted out your mess, so with great enthusiasm you hit the shops and come home with cute stylish, neat or innovative storage solutions only to find they don't fit in the cupboard or on the shelf Take time to measure your spaces, write down the measurements and take them with you to the store together with a tape measure. Buy only containers that are going to fit the space rather than how they look and your surroundings will be 10 times more manageable and easier to keep tidy once you are sorted.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
At one point in my life I had considered joining the Baptist Church. For those of you who don't know, the Baptists practice total body immersion to baptize a person. Luckily I even knew a minister in that faith, since I was dating his daughter and it was her idea to start out with. I asked him if he would consider performing the service. He paused a minute or two, gave me a long thoughtful look and said, "Well, if you're serious about this, a dipping just won't do it for you. We'll have to find a place to anchor you overnight."
car soccer game
____________________________________________________ The teller had just been robbed for the third time by the same man, and was being asked by a police officer if she had noticed anything specific about the criminal. "Well, yes," said the teller. "He appears to be better dressed each time." ____________________________________________________ Laura's husband, Ron, was called into his bank to discuss his accounts. "Your finances are in terrible shape," the banker stated. "Your checking account is overdrawn, your loan is overdue." "Yes, I know." said Ron. "It's my wife Laura, she is out of control." "Why do you allow your wife to spend more money than you have ?" asked the banker. "Frankly," replied Ron with a deep sigh, "because I'd rather argue with you than with her." ____________________________________________________
What an imagination! Realistic pumpkin carvings.
____________________________________________________
Today on October 21 in
1797 "Old Ironsides," the U.S. Navy frigate Constitution, was
launched in Boston's harbor. 

1805 The Battle of Trafalgar occurred off the coast of Spain.
The British defeated the French and Spanish fleet. 

1849 The first tattooed man, James F. O’Connell, was put on
exhibition at the Franklin Theatre in New York City, NY. 

1858 The Can-Can was performed for the first time in Paris. 

1879 Thomas Edison invented the electric incandescent lamp.
It would last 13 1/2 hours before it would burn out. 

1917 The first U.S. soldiers entered combat during World War
I near Nancy, France. 

1918 Margaret Owen set a typing speed record of 170 words per
minute on a manual typewriter. 

1925 The photoelectric cell was first demonstrated at the
Electric Show in New York City, NY. 

1925 The U.S. Treasury Department announced that it had fined
29,620 people for prohibition (of alcohol) violations. 

1944 During World War II, the German city of Aachen was
captured by U.S. troops. 

1945 Women in France were allowed to vote for the first time.

1950 Chinese forces invaded Tibet. 

1959 The Guggenheim Museum was opened to the public in New
York. The building was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. 

1967 Thousands of demonstrators marched in Washington, DC, in
opposition to the Vietnam War. 

1983 The Pentagon reported that 2,000 Marines were headed to
Grenada to protect and evacuate Americans living there. 

1991 Jesse Turner, an American hostage in Lebanon, was
released after nearly five years of being imprisoned. 

1994 North Korea and the U.S. signed an agreement requiring
North Korea to halt its nuclear program and agree to
inspections. 

2003 The U.S. Senate voted to ban what was known as partial
birth abortions. 

2003 North Korea rejected U.S. President George W. Bush's
offer of a written pledge not to attack in exchange for the
communist nation agreeing to end its nuclear weapons program.

2016  smiled.


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When will spam laws start to work? 




Good Morning, ,

Today is Thursday, October 20

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida man robs salesman he knows at gunpoint, 
sends apology text.
Details at Boneheads
______________________________________________________
Today, October 20, in 
1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and
Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor
Charles VI. She was as influential on Europe as Queen
Victoria was on England.
See More of what happened on this day
in history.

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
______________________________________________________ Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men. --- Joseph Conrad (1857 - 1924) This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. --- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935) ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote! ______________________________________________________ A mother traveled 2,000 miles to be with her only son on the day he was to receive his Air Force wings and also get married. "It was wonderful," she said later. "It isn't every day that a mother watches her son receive his wings in the morning and have them clipped in the evening." ______________________________________________________ 2017 Launch Flash Sale MTP $29.99 ______________________________________________________ A few years ago Bob went to visit his brother who was stationed in Germany. He assumed that enough Germans would speak English so that he could at least get around. But he found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket inspector on the train. He punched Bob's ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. Bob just nodded from time to time to show him that he was interested. When he had gone, an American woman soldier in the compartment leaned forward and asked Bob if he spoke German. "No," he confessed. "Then that explains," she said, "why you didn't bat an eyelid when he told you that you were on the wrong train going in the wrong direction." ______________________________________________________ From FB ______________________________________________________
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!
______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by Romelson Faustin, 20, Fort Myers, Floriduh Florida man robs salesman he knows at gunpoint, sends apology text. A Florida man was arrested on Wednesday after deputies said he robbed a car salesman at gunpoint and texted him about 45 minutes later with an apology. Romelson Faustin, 20, entered a Fort Myers-area car dealership on Wednesday with another man and held a gun at one of the salesmen, demanding his money, WINK reports. The salesman, Anthony Spinella, said he was familiar with Faustin as he had been making payments toward a car with the dealership since September. Police: Fla. man breaks grandma's hand over video game Spinella told WINK that after being robbed by Faustin, he received a text from the 20-year-old that said “Bro, I was on Mollies, I’m sorry.” “He just said give me the money that’s in your pockets,” Spinella said. “So then he texted me about an hour — 45 minutes later.” Deputies said the man with Faustin got away with $400 in cash and was not in the car when authorities arrested Faustin later on Wednesday. He now faces felony charges of robbery with a firearm and possession of cocaine. ______________________________________________________ Tech Support Pits From: Wilhelm Re: Spam laws Dear Webby, When are those new spam laws going to start working ? Since they became law, the spam in my mail has increased 20% ? I am gong NUTS! Wilhelm Dear Wilhelm You ARE nuts if you believe those laws will help you. They just legalize spam and protect the Senators and other spammers. Just get Mailwasher from the link on the side. Go ahead and get the PRO version. After that, slowly tune it by making filters against stuff that shows up frequently. Then enjoy dumping hundreds of spams every morning. Unread, hidden. You just see in the status line a cheery message like "823 emails hidden from list". Hit PROCESS or F6, and they have all gone to hell, unread. A nice way to start the day! Have FUN! DearWebby A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly towards him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, and in a more satisfying way than anybody has ever done it for you before, for $100 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint... my... house."
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Inexpensive Stepping Stones .... By Helmut [9 Posts, 147 Comments] There is a much easier way to do that. Get a bag of ordinary ready-mix concrete and some chicken mesh. Peel the lawn where you want a step, round, heart shaped, like a Sasquatch imprint, whatever, and hammer the dirt below it nice and hard. Pour some ready mix into the hole. Use a planter trowel or mini shovel to mix it with some water, poke the chickenmesh down below the surface, agitate the mess a bit and smooth it. Yes, mix it right in the hole, no need for dirtying a separate mixing container! If you want, you can add marble or brick planter topping, and pat it in. As a kid in the 50's I wrote the date into one with small white pebbles. After an hour use a brush or broom and a bit of water to clean the topping, or to add a bit of texture to the concrete. Shield it from the sun with cardboard or scrap wood for a day or two. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
This one is from the days when Windows came on a stack of floppies instead of pre-installed at the factory in China. A polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong. Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer." Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide. Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?" Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized." Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?" Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down. 'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it?'" Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?" Customer: "After they were initialized, all the disks appeared to be blank. And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them. And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office Did I do something wrong?"
" target="_blank" >https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ve0Ufrv-T0s"> dog stands on front legs to pee
____________________________________________________ The young man was contrite as he confessed to his steady girl that he was seeing a therapist. "That's nothing." she replied. "I'm seeing a therapist, two engineers, a plumber and an electrician." ____________________________________________________ One Sunday afternoon, the Pastor's wife dropped into an easy chair saying, "Boy! Am I ever tried!" Her husband looked over at her and said, "I had to conduct two special services last night, three today, and give a total of five sermons. Why are you so tired?" "Dearest," she replied, "I had to listen to all of them!" ____________________________________________________
I wouldn't mind a long stay in this hotel surrounded by such beautiful scenery.
____________________________________________________
Today on October 20 in
1740 Maria Theresa became the ruler of Austria, Hungary and
Bohemia with the death of her father, Holy Roman Emperor
Charles VI. 

1774 The new Continental Congress, the governing body of
America’s colonies, passed an order proclaiming that all
citizens of the colonies "discountenance and discourage all
horse racing and all kinds of gaming, cock fighting,
exhibitions of shows, plays and other expensive diversions
and entertainment." Buncha Fuddy-Duddies!

1803 The U.S. Senate approved the Louisiana Purchase. 

1818 The U.S. and Great Britain established the boundary
between the U.S. and Canada to be the 49th parallel. 

1827 The Battle of Navarino took place during the Greek War
for Independence. 

1873 A Hippodrome was opened in New York City by showman
Phineus T. (P.T.) Barnum. 

1892 The city of Chicago dedicated the World's Columbian
Exposition. 

1903 A joint commission ruled in favor of the U.S. concerning
a dispute over the boundary between Canada and the District
of Alaska. 

1910 A baseball with a cork center was used in a World Series
game for the first time. 

1935 Mao Zedong arrived in Hanoi after his Long March that
took just over a year. He then set up the Chinese Communist
Headquarters. 

1942 Pierre Laval told the French labor that they must serve
in Germany. 

1944 Allied forces invaded the Philippines. 

1944 During World War II, the Yugoslav cities of Belgrade and
Dubrovnik were liberated. 

1947 Hollywood came under scrutiny as the House Un-American
Activities Committee opened hearings into alleged Communist
influence within the motion picture industry. 

1952 The Mau Mau uprising against white settlers began in
Kenya. 

1968 Jackie Lee Bouvier Kennedy married Aristotle Onassis. 

1984 The U.S. State Department reduced the number of
Americans assigned to the U.S. embassy in Beirut, Lebanon. 

1993 Attorney General Janet Reno warned the TV industry to
limit the violence in their programs. 

1994 The website WhiteHouse.gov was launched. 

1995 Britain, France and the U.S. announced a treaty that
banned atomic blasts in the South Pacific. 

2003 A 40-year-old man went over Niagara Falls without safety
devices and survived. He was charged with illegally
performing a stunt. 

2009 European astronomers discover 32 exoplanets.

2016  smiled.


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