Is Windows Update really reporting to Microsoft? 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, January 20

Thank you, Nancy!

Some interesting numbers from the end of 2012:
2.4 Billion – Internet users worldwide.
1.1 Billion – Internet users in Asia.
519 million – Internet users in Europe.
274 million – Internet users in North America.
255 million – Internet users in Latin America/Caribbean.
167 million – Internet users in Africa.
90 million – Internet users in the Middle East.
24.3 million – Internet users in Oceania/Australia.

565 million – Internet users in China, 
   more than any other country in the world.
42.1% – Internet penetration in China.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The main dangers in this life are the people who want to change everything - or nothing. --- Nancy Astor Man has to suffer. When he has no real afflictions, he invents some. --- Jose Marti
A guy is bragging to a friend about his new hearing aid. "Yeah, it's a beaut," he says. "Top of the line. Deluxe model. Cost me $4,000 bucks." "What kind is it?" his friend asks politely. "Twelve-thirty."
On the way back to New York as I was sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that the flight to Vegas was full. The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats. In exchange, they'd give you a $100 voucher for your next flight and a first class seat in the plane leaving an hour later. About eight people ran up to the counter to take advantage of the offer. About 15 seconds later all eight of those people sat down grumpily as the lady behind the ticket counter said, "If there is anyone else OTHER than the flight crew who'd like to volunteer, please step forward."
All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price!

Click on the picture for the large version Castle_Howard_North_Yorkshire
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to James Flenniken, 48, Manatee, Floriduh Jailed After Stealing Steak And Wine Dinner From Walmart, Said He Wanted To Impress His Date Reported by The Weekly Vice James Flenniken, a 48-year-old Manatee man was jailed Monday after he allegedly stole beer, wine, and steaks from a local Walmart because he wanted to impress his date. According to the Manatee County Sheriff's Office, Flenniken reportedly went into Walmart around 5:00 p.m. and stole the booze and steaks, worth a total of $79.30. A loss prevention officer who saw Flenniken steal the items stopped him at the door and called authorities. Without even being questioned, Flenniken allegedly told deputies that he had taken the items to impress a lady-friend that he was set to have a date with that night. Flenniken was booked into the Manatee County Jail and charged with petit theft-shoplifting. He is currently being held without bond. Tech Support Pits From: Vicky Re: Windows update reporting to Microsoft Dear Webby Is Windows really reporting all my sinse to Microsoft, like you had written yesterday? Vicky Dear Vicky Nah, not ALL your sins, that would take too long. Probably just the juicier ones. Do you remember clicking that AGREE button, without reading 27 pages of small print? There you agreed, that they can upload reports of your sins, in order to make the next version of Windows better. Considering the lack of speed of Windows 7, somebody must have paused a lot for some really dedicated sinning. Was that you? Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Retrieve Long Hair in a Plugged Shower Drain If drain cleaners are not working in a shower or bathtub drain, the problem might be higher up. The shower drain in my long-haired teenage daughter's bathroom was plugged so badly she ended up standing in water up to her ankles when she took a shower. I tried all kinds of drain cleaners, to no avail. Then one day, I took the grate off the top of the drain so that I could look down with a flashlight and possibly see something. What a surprise: I could only see a couple of inches down! The crossbars in the pipe, like a plus sign about two inches down, were completely covered with hair! I used needle-nose pliers to pull out a wad of long hairs as thick as my thumb, that was draped over the crossbars, hanging down like a fringe, almost completely blocking the pipe where drain cleaners had no effect. By Mary from Hummeltwown, PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

>From Val Co-workers sympathized as my mother complained that her back was really sore from moving furniture. "Why don't you wait till your husband gets home?" someone asked. "I could," my mother told the group," but the couch is a lot easier to move if he's not on it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
In a hat shop a saleslady gushed: "That's the hat for you! It makes you look ten years younger." "Then I don't want it," retorted the customer. "I certainly can't afford to put on ten years every time I take off my hat!"
» The Diamonds, with a trip down memory lane


Today, Jan 20, in 
0820 Book of mother, published
1503 Casa Contratacion (Board of Trade) found (Spain) 
   to deal with American affairs
1785 Samuel Ellis advertises to sell Oyster Island 
  (Ellis Island), no takers
1800 Napoleon I's sister Carolina marries 
   King Joachim Murat of Naples
1841 China cedes Hong Kong to the British
1850 Investigator, 1st ship to effect northwest passage, leaves England
1887 US Senate approves the naval base lease of Pearl Harbor
1921 Turkey declared in remnants of the Ottoman Empire
1921 British submarine K5 leaves with man & mouse
1925 USSR & Japan sign treaty of Peking, Seychelles back to USSR
1929 1st feature talking motion picture taken outdoors, "In Old Arizona"
1930 1st radio broadcast of "Lone Ranger" (WXYZ-Detroit)
1936 Edward VIII succeeds British king George V
1939 Hitler proclaims to German parliament to exterminate 
   all European Jews
1944 RAF drops 2300 tons of bombs on Berlin
1949 J Edgar Hoover gives Shirley Temple a tear gas fountain pen
1952 British army occupies Ismailiya, Suez Canal Zone
1980 President Jimmy Carter announces US boycott of Olympics in Moscow
1981 52 Americans held hostage in Iran for 444 days freed
1986 Chunnel announced (railroad tunnel under English Channel)
1991 US Patriot missiles begins shooting down Iraqi missiles
1997 Comet Hale-Bopp crosses Mars' orbit
1998 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inducts Mama & Papas, Eagles
2013  smiled


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Windows update takes too long 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, January 19

Thank you, John P!

I hope that the few companies, who got Boeing 787s,
have leased them and not bought them!

Considering the history of lithium-ion batteries and their
ability to set anything from cell phones to submarines on 
fire, it was rather stupid to put them into expensive planes.

Lithium-ion batteries CAN be good performers, but they are
not fully understood yet, and the slightest manufacturing
anomaly makes them unpredictable.

Boeing COULD have used nickel-metal hydride batteries like 
the ones in the Toyota Prius. Proven, safe performers.
Sure, Lithium-ion batteries weigh a bit less at the same
power rating, but when you count the cooling and safety
measures necessary, there is no real advantage.

Cessna had to switch to nickel-metal hydride batteries 
in its CJ4 jet, and Boeing should have taken that as a hint
with a fence post. They didn't, and now all 787s are grounded,
and will stay grounded for the foreseeable future, until
some technology has been developed to make the lithium-ion
batteries safer and more predictable. That could take years!

It would have been a lot smarter to simply dump those 
lithium-ion batteries into the nearest dumpster and 
replace them with nickel-metal hydride or even lead-acid
car batteries.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater. --- Gail Godwin People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. --- W. Somerset Maugham A good listener is usually thinking about something else. --- Kin Hubbard
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.
A Kansas farm couple who are sleeping early one morning when a tornado roars over their farmhouse. It lifts the roof off, picks up the bed the farmer and his wife are sleeping in and sets them down gently in the next county. The wife begins to cry. "Don't be scared, dear," her husband says. "We're not hurt." The woman continues to cry. "I'm not scared," she says between sobs. "I'm crying because I'm happy. This is the first time in 14 years we've been out together."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Jeremy Rusin, 21, Oak Lawn, Illinois Wimp jailed for Setting Pit Bull Loose On His Own Mother, Three Times Reported by The Weekly Vice Jeremy Rusin, a 21-year-old Illinois wimp, has been jailed after he repeatedly turned a pit bull loose on his mother because he didn't want her to go outside and get help. According to Oak Lawn police, officers were dispatched to the woman's home after receiving a report from a motorist stating that a woman was being attacked by a pit bull while several other witnesses stood by and watched without helping her. According to police, the incident began when the victim's son emerged from his bedroom yelling and in an agitated state. Rusin's angry rant caused his girlfriend's 75-pound pit bull to attack his mother. Initially, Rusin pulled the dog away after it had been biting his mother's arm and stomach, but when the woman tried to run outside to get help, Rusin set the dog loose on his mother in an attempt to stop her. Rusin then grabbed his mother by the shoulder and threw her into a wall, prompting the dog to attack again. Eventually Rusin pulled the dog back, however, when his mother finally made it outside, he set the dog loose on his mother a third time. The motorist who called 911 explained that he was driving by the residence when he saw the dog attacking a woman. As the driver slowed down to see if the woman was being helped, Rusin shouted "Mind your own business and get the fuck out of here," according to the arrest affidavit. The mother was able to break free of the dog and run to a neighbor's house for help as Rusin and two other people watched. When the motorist left the scene to call 911, Rusin pulled up behind him, pulled off his shirt and began walking toward him. Rusin then allegedly told the motorist that he was going to "kick his ass." Police arrived on the scene before a fight could ensue. As officers were placing Rusin under arrest, Rusin rammed his shoulder into an officer and then dropped to the ground complaining of shoulder pain. After a brief struggle, Rusin was placed into a patrol car and transported to jail. At the jail, Rusin refused to be fingerprinted and banged his head repeatedly against the cell door. Rusin's girlfriend was told to take her dog to the Animal Welfare League until further notice. She continues to list herself as "in a relationship" with Rusin on her Facebook profile. Photographs of Rusin and a pit bull can be found on her profile. Rusin was booked into the Cook County Jail and charged with battery, domestic battery and assault. His bail has been set at $20,000 Tech Support Pits From: Rosa Re: Windows update stalling Dear Webby Tonight finally was my turn for last Tuesday's Windows bug fix. However, it seemed to stall. Even giving it time to report all my sins to Microsoft and re-installing Windows, nothing happened, just the screen with the message, that I should not turn the computer off. Well, eventually I did anyway. I can sit here looing silly only for so long. What is going on? Rosa Dear Rosa I guess your sins took a lot longer to report this time. Do the update again, and when that "Do not turn the computer off" screen shows up, go and do the dishes and some floors. And have a nap. Eventually it will finish and work like before, just maybe a tad slower. The same as the XP bugfixes slowed it down to the speed of Windows 7, the Windows 7 bugfixes seem to be slowing it down to the speed (or lack thereof) of Windows 8. Supposedly that will make the transition less painful. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Saving Money on Medical Alert Jewelry As a diabetic and a person severely allergic to Tetanus, I needed a medical ID bracelet or necklace. However, even the cheapest ones are upward of $39.95 plus shipping. Ouch! So, at my local department store, I stopped at a machine and spent $5.00 to have a literal dog tag engraved with "Diabetic" on the first line and "Tetanus Allergy" on the second line. With my own chain from home, I now can wear an alert that only cost me $5.00. It's really easy to do and fast, and saves 700% of the cost. Win Win for us frugal folks! By Sandi from Salem, OR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

A man is struck by a bus on a busy New York City street. He lies on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. "A priest. Somebody get me a priest!" the man gasps. A policeman checks the crowd, but there's no priest, no minister, no man of God of any kind. "A priest, please," the injured man says again. Then out of the crowd steps a wrinkled and wizened Jewish man of advanced years. "Mr. Policeman," says the man, "I'm not a priest. I'm not even a Catholic. But for 50 years now I've lived behind St. Mary's Catholic Church on Third Avenue, and every night I've listened to the Catholic rites. Maybe I can be of some comfort to this man." The policeman agrees and brings the old man over to where the man lies. The old man kneels down on the sidewalk, leans over the injured victim and intones in a solemn voice: "Under the B - 4. Under the I - 19. Under the N - 38. Under the G - 54. Under the O - 72."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Back in the days when Roman galleys plied the Mediterranean, a crew of oarsmen was sweating and straining to propel the ship through high seas when the first mate appeared. "I've got good news and bad news," he says. "The good news is we've spotted an island, so the plan is to stop, drink rum, hunt a couple of wild boars, have a feast and relax with the native girls." The sailors all cheer in happiness, all but one, who asks, "And what is the bad news?" "Well," the first mate replies, "tomorrow, the captain wants to go water skiing."
» Sliced n Diced


Today, Jan 18, in 
0379 Theodosius installed as co-emperor of East Roman Empire
0570 Mohammed Islamic prophet (Koran) 
1793 French King Louis XVI sentenced to death
1806 Britain occupies the Cape of Good Hope
1808 Louis Napoleon signs 1st Dutch aviation law
1825 Ezra Daggett & nephew Thomas Kensett patent 
   food storage in tin cans 
1829 Johann von Goethe's "Faust, Part 1" premieres
1840 Antarctica discovered, Charles Wilkes expedition 
1903 New bicycle race "Tour de France" announced 
1915 1st German Zeppelin attack over Great Britain, 4 die 
1915 Neon Tube sign patented by George Claude 
1927 British government decides to send troops to China 
1937 Millionaire Howard Hughes sets transcontinental air
   record (7h 28m 25s)
1938 GM began mass production of diesel engines 
1942 Japanese forces invade Burma 
1943 Joint Chiefs of Staff decide on invasion in Sicily
1947 SS Himera runs aground at Athens, kills 392
1950 Maiden flight by Canada's Avro Canada CF-100 military
   plane (First ducted fan jet. Project was scrapped and
   the plane and blueprints packed up and shipped south)
1955 "Scrabble" debuts on board game market
1992 IBM announces a nearly $5B loss for 1992 
1993 Israel recognizes PLO as no longer criminal 
1996 NHL approves move of Winnipeg Jets to Phoenix
2013  smiled


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Removing an address from Windows Live 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, January 18.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!




If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Don't wait. The time will never be just right. --- Napoleon Hill The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. --- Dorothy Parker
A theatergoer who gets to his seat only to find that he's far away from the stage. He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery play, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip." The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter. The usher looks at the quarter, frowns at him, then leans over and whispers, "The wife did it."
A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid eighties). The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Dale Wisniewski, 45, New Smyrna Beach, Florida Jailed Exposing Herself To Nine Minor Boys Playing Basketball Reported by The Weekly Vice Dale Wisniewski, a 45-year-old Florida woman, was jailed Friday after she allegedly pulled down her pants and exposed herself to a group of boys playing basketball. According to New Smyrna Beach police, officers were dispatched to the Babe James Community Center on Myrtle Avenue after witnesses reported that a woman was exposing herself in public. Investigators say Wisniewski approached a group of nine boys, ages 7 to 14, who were playing basketball outside the community center. That's when she allegedly pulled down her jeans and exposed herself to the boys. When officers arrested Wisniewski and took her to the police station, she allegedly became combative with officers. Wisniewski, who has been arrested at least 14 times in Volusia County alone, was booked into jail and charged with nine counts of lewd and lascivious exhibition and battery on a police officer. Her bond bail has been set at $24,000. Her face looks familiar. Didn't she get a Bonehead Award before? Tech Support Pits From: DJ Re: delete an address from windows live mail how do I delete an address from windows live mail D.J. Hi DJ Most likely you open your list of addresses, highlight the naughty one, and hit DELETE, or right-click it and select Delete. That is how all the other programs do it. I have never used Windows Live Mail. If that does not work, check the built in Help. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing a Broken Window Apply pieces of masking tape to the window in a crisscross pattern on both sides of the window. Then gently tap around the outer edge of the window with a hammer until the glass breaks out. The tape should help keep the window from shattering but be sure to wear protective gloves. By ThriftyFun If you do that, it will cost you twice as much. Normally you tape the window and remove it. Then you take it outside and put it onto a sheet of plastic or plastic tarp, which preferbly is on some plywood. Then you use a sharp putty-knife to losen the moulding strips, that hold the glass against the stationery ledge. When the strips are removed, you take the window and turn it upside down over a dumpster or garbage can. The taped window falls out clean. without leaving a lot of broken splinters between the ledge and the moulding strip. While still over the dumpster, scrape the ledge and moulding to remove putty or fine splinters. Then you are ready to insert a new double-glazing pack or take the frame to a glazier. It is quite simple and fast, as long as you don't use a hammer to double your cost. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

Consider what happened when a governor's most trusted assistant died in his sleep one night. The fellow had been the governor's closest friend, and the governor had depended on him for advice on every subject, from pending bills to wardrobe decisions. Almost immediately, ambitious office seekers begin besieging the governor with requests to fill the assistant's post. "They don't even have the decency to wait until the man is buried," the governor complains. Even at the funeral, one eager beaver makes his way to the governor's side. "Governor," the man says, "is there a chance that I could take Joe's place?" "Certainly," says the governor. "But you'd better hurry. I think the undertaker is almost finished."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A woman walks into the downtown welfare office, trailed by 15 kids. "WOW," the social worker exclaims,"are they ALL YOURS???" "Yep they are all mine," the flustered momma sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before. She says, "Sit down Leroy." All the children rush to find seats. "Well," says the social worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names." "This one's my oldest - he is Leroy." "OK, and who's next?" "Well, this one he is Leroy, also." The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy. Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Leighroy! "All right," says the caseworker. "I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Leroy?" Their Momma replied, "Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an' they all comes arunnin.' An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Leroy." The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?" "Then I call them by their last names."
» SPCA Pet Adoption


Today, Jan 18, in 
0336 St Mark begins his reign as Catholic Pope 
0350 General Maxentius drives out Western Roman 
   emperor Constans 
0532 Nika uprising at Constantinople fails, 30-40,000 die 
1486 King Henry VII of England marries Elizabeth
1520 Christian II of Denmark & Norway defeats the Swedes
1644 Perplexed Pilgrims in Boston reported America's 1st 
   UFO sighting
1671 Pirate Henry Morgan defeats Spanish defenders, 
   captures Panamá
1733 1st captive polar bear exhibited in America (Boston)
1777 San Jose CA founded
1778 Captain James Cook stumbles over Sandwich Islands 
  (Hawaiian Islands) 
1850 British blockade Piræus, Greece to enforce mercantile 
  claims
1911 1st shipboard landing of a plane (Tanforan Park 
   to USS Pennsylvania) 
1913 Turkish-Greek sea battle near Troy
1915 Train crashes at Colima-Guadalajara Mexico, 
   about 600 die 
1943 Jews in the Warsaw Ghetto begin resistance of Nazis 
1947 Small river steamer sank on Yangtze River, kills 400
1962 US begins spraying foliage in Vietnam to reveal 
   Viet Cong guerrillas 
1964 Plans for the World Trade Center announced 
1974 Israel & Egypt sign weapons accord 
1980 Gold reaches $1,000 an ounce
1981 Iran accepts US offer of $7.9 billion in frozen assets
1983 IOC restores Jim Thorpe's Olympic medals 70 years 
  after they were taken from him for being paid $25 in 
  semipro baseball 
1989 Astronomers discover pulsar in remnants of 
   Supernova 1987A (LMC) 
1990 Washington DC, Mayor Marion Barry arrested in 
   drug enforcement sting 
1991 Iraq launches SCUD missiles against Israel
1991 US acknowledges CIA and US Army paid Noriega $320,000
   over his career 
1996 Lisa Marie Presley filed for divorce from Michael
  Jackson in NY 
2013  smiled


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How to stop Mysterious FireFox crashes 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, January 17

Thank you Admiral James!


Sandie got her wings today.
There won't be any more pictures and jokes from her.
They still have no email upstairs.



Click through for the full story
Do It Yourself Train Wreck

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

All things are difficult before they are easy. --- Dr. Thomas Fuller (1654 - 1734) There art two cardinal sins from which all others spring: Impatience and Laziness. --- Franz Kafka (1883 - 1924)
Time to run this one again: JESUS AND SATAN ON THE COMPUTER Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally, God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test which will take two hours and I will judge who does the better job." So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But, ten minutes before the time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on, and each of them restarted computers. Satan started searching frantically screaming, "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all his files from the past 2 hours. Satan observed this and became even more irate. "Wait! He cheated! How did he do it?" God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves!" ---------------- The above is NOT a theological item, it's a pun intended to get you to hit CTRL S now and then.
My friend wanted a boat more than anything. His wife kept refusing, but he bought one anyway. "I'll tell you what," he told her. "In the spirit of compromise, why don't you name the boat?" Being a good sport, she accepted. When her husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage, this is the name he saw painted on the side: "For Sale."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Ashley Stillwell, 24, Mankato, Minn. Jailed After Asking Two Men To Beat Her Husband With Baseball Bats Reported by The Weekly Vice Ashley Stillwell, a 24-year-old Minnesota woman, was jailed after she allegedly asked two men to beat her husband with a baseball bat, all while the victim's children watched. According to the Blue Earth County Sheriff's Office, Stillwell and her husband were arguing over bills when Stillwell left the residence and returned with two men who wore dark hooded sweatshirts. Each man was in possession of an aluminum baseball bat. When the husband, identified as Gary Stillwell, asked the men to leave, they refused and began beating him repeatedly with the bats. The victim told deputies that he was kicked in the face and struck four of five times with a bat during the assault. He also told deputies that he heard his wife tell the attackers "Not in front of my babies." The children told deputies that they witnessed their father being assaulted by the two men. After the assault, the husband found a car key on the floor which was given to the Sheriff's Office. Deputies tracked the key to a Jeep that had been parked a short distance away from the Stillwell's residence. After giving several different stories, Stillwell admitted to asking two men in a Jeep to come to her house and give her husband "an attitude adjustment." Stillwell was booked into jail and charged with second-degree assault with a dangerous weapon. The two assailants have not yet been identified, however, the cops have their jeep. Tech Support Pits From: Helen Re: Mysterious Firefox Crashes Dear Webby, I really appreciate your newsletter and respect your tech advice. I am having lots of trouble with Firefox lately, crashing almost every day. I have tried to contact them with no results. I have updated as suggested and am to the point of going back to Internet Explorer Do you have any suggestions? Thanks again Helen Dear Helen It is not FireFox, since nobody else experiences that. Maybe you have more add-ons going, than your computer has memory for. Try disabling all your add-ons, and then enable them one at a time, maybe one every two days. When you get the crashes again, then you know which add-on is causing that. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cedar Shavings for Pantry Pests While it won't do anything about any little hitchhikers already in your food, bugs absolutely hate cedar, so sprinkling a few shavings or hanging up a little bag of it in your pantry may discourage anything investigating the place from hanging around. (Same goes for your closets and drawers.) By JayKay To repel pests you need the fragrant red "Aromatic Cedar", not the white or yellow cedar, that is used for cage floors. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says, "Before I begin this trial, I have an announcement to make. The lawyer for the defense has paid me $15,000 to swing the case his way. The lawyer for the plaintiff has paid me $10,000 to swing the case her way. In order to make this a fair trial, I am returning $5,000 to the defense."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five year old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were for. "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by" his father said. "Wouldn't you know it", the boy fumed, "The one Sunday I don't go, He shows up!"
» Haboob


Today, Jan 16, in 
1501 Cesare Borgia returns in triumph to Rome from Romagna 
1718 Avalanche destroys every building in Leukerbad, 
   Switzerland; kills 53 
1746 Battle of Falkirk, Scotland-Prince Charles Edward Stuart 
   defeated by Scots 
1775 9 old women burnt as witches for causing bad harvests,
  Kalisk, Poland 
1821 México permits Moses Austin & 300 US families to settle
  in Texas
1874 Armed Democrats seize Texas government ending 
   Radical Reconstruction
1893 Queen Liliuokalani deposed, Kingdom of Hawaii 
   becomes a republic 
1912 English explorer Robert Falcon Scott & his expedition
  reach the South Pole, only to discover that Roald Amundsen
  had gotten there 1 month before 
1915 Russia occupies Bukovina & Western Ukraine 
1917 US pays Denmark $25 million for the Virgin Islands
1928 1st fully automatic photographic film developing machine
  patented
1929 Popeye makes 1st appearance, in comic strip "Thimble"
1950 11 men rob Brink's office in Boston of $1.2M cash & 
   $1.5M securities
1961 Eisenhower orders the assassination of Congo's Lumumba
1968 Soyuz 4 & 5 completed 1st docking of 2 manned spacecraft
1969 Beatles release Yellow Submarine album in UK 
1983 Nigeria expels 2 million illegal aliens, mostly 
  Ghanaians 
1987 President Reagan signs secret order permitting covert
   sale of arms to Iran 
1989 Gunman opens fire in California schoolyard; 5 students
  slain, 30 wounded
1991 Iraq fires 8 SCUD missiles on Israel - 1st US pilot shot
   down (Jeffrey Zahn)
1994 6.6 Earthquake hits Los Angeles killing 60, $30B damage 
1995 7.2 earthquake destroys Kobe Japan (5,372 die) 
1998 President Clinton faces sexual harassment charges 
   from Paula Jones 
2013  smiled


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Sort by size in Windows 7 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, January 16

US-CERT recommends that Internet Explorer 6,7,8 users 
run today's Windows Update as soon as possible to 
apply the MS13-008 update, and plug a big security hole.


Most of you have seen pictures, stories and jokes from 
Sandie in Cape Coral over the last 15 years. 
The doctors said that Sandie is dying and has maybe two 
weeks left. Let's see if we can give her a boost and prove
them wrong!

Right now we have a storm.
The two foot tall pyramid gong, that Sandie had sent me after
I helped her get through Hurricance Wilma, is making a bigger
racket in the storm than a herd of cop cars.

This is how the storm sky looks now, 5PM



Yes, I know, similar picture to one a few days ago,
but this one has even better colors.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

What luck for rulers that men do not think. --- B.H.Obama Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week. --- George Bernard Shaw
When the waitress brought the customer the soup du jour, the man was a bit dismayed and said, "Good heavens! What is this?" "Why, it's bean soup," she replied. The man said, "I don't care what it has been. What is it now?"
Grandpa Cartmell was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well preserved he appeared. "I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "My wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk. Gentlemen, I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Thanks to Jim for this picture of his Night Blooming Cereus Click on the picture for the large version Night Blooming Cereus
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Stephanie Forbes, 40, League City, Tx. Jailed for Ongoing Sexual Relationship With Student Reported by The Weekly Vice Stephanie Forbes, a 40-year-old teacher at Clear Creek High School, was jailed Thursday after she allegedly had an ongoing sexual relationship with a student. According to the Galveston County Sheriff's Office, an investigation was launched in December after the student's family learned about the alleged relationship and contacted authorities. Little information has been released in the case except that the victim was 16 years of age or younger. Forbes resigned her position with the school district a short time after learning that an investigation into the alleged relationship had begun. Forbes was booked into jail and charged with sexual assault of a child and improper relationship between educator and student. She was released after posting bond and has been ordered to stay away from children while the case is pending. Tech Support Pits From: Wes Re: Sorting by size Dear Webby, I used to be able to look at a directory of all my files on Windows to see if there were any big files that I could delete, but am unable to locate a way to do that now. Any answers for Windows 7, oh wise one??? Wes Dear Wes In the File Explorer look near the top left for an icon, that looks like what you are used to seeing as the icon for bulleted lists. Beside that is a tiny pull-down arrow. Pull that down and select Details. Then you can again sort by size. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cedar Shavings for Pantry Pests While it won't do anything about any little hitchhikers already in your food, bugs absolutely hate cedar, so sprinkling a few shavings or hanging up a little bag of it in your pantry may discourage anything investigating the place from hanging around. (Same goes for your closets and drawers.) The shavings themselves are the same kind you'll find in any pet store, though exposure to cedar in large quantities or enclosed spaces can actually be toxic to small animals, so I wouldn't suggest ever buying the stuff for its intended use. By JayKay For pest control you have to use aromatic (red) cedar, not the white or yellow cedar, that is used for cage lining and similar purposes. The aromatic cedar is toxic, not just to small animals. A tiny splinter will cause a painful inflammation even in an adult. You can buy aromatic cedar at most lumber yards quite cheaply. Just get a small board and rasp or saw or sand it to get enough small stuff to fill some sachets. Just be careful that you don't get any splinters! If you sand it, use a good face mask. "Hope Chests" used to be lined with aromatic cedar to repel moths, and linens kept in those Hope Chests never went bad. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

"Old Jethro's next door's a-makin' moonshine again." the wife told her husband. "How can you tell ?" he asked. "Did you smell it ?" "Nope. But a bunch of mice from his place came over here this morning and beat up our cats."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
» Comical Telephrumps


Today, Jan 16, in 
1219 Floods in Northern Netherlands after storm, 1,000s killed
1493 Columbus returns to Spain on his 1st trip
1547 Ivan IV the Terrible (17) crowns himself 1st tsar of Russia
1581 English parliament passes laws against Catholicism
1765 Charles Messier catalogs M41 (galactic cluster in Canis Major)
1868 Refrigerator car patented by William Davis, Detroit
1877 Color organ (for light shows) patented, by Bainbridge Bishop
1909 British explorer Ernest Shackleton finds magnetic south pole
1919 Prohibition ratified by 3/4 of the states; Nebraska is 36th
1920 18th Amendment, prohibition, becomes the law of the land - 
   one year after ratification; it is repealed in 1933
1920 Georgia declares independence
1939 Comic strip "Superman" debuts
1941 US vice admiral Bellinger warns of an assault on 
   Pearl Harbor
1951 Viet Minh offensive against Hanoi
1953 Egyptian Premier General Naguib disbands all political parties
1956 Egyptian President Nassar pledges to reconquer Palestine
1963 Khrushchev claims to have a 100-megaton nuclear bomb
1970 Colonel Kadhaffi becomes premier of Libya
1979 Shah Mohammed Reza Pahlevi of Iran flees Iran for Egypt
1981 Boxer Leon Spinks is mugged, his assailants even 
   take his gold teeth
1985 "Playboy" announces end of stapling centerfolds
1989 USSR announces plan for 2-year manned mission to Mars
1991 Operation Desert Storm begins - US & 27 allies 
   attack Iraq for occupying Kuwait
2013  smiled


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Java again! 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, January 15

Thank you, Linda!

It looks like the French troops in Mali are going to get
chased all over the place. They sent their best elite 
regular troops, looking like scared, undernourished, 
big-city gang members. Even after the French Air Force 
bombed the Islamists for hours, their ground troops were
chased and the Islamists took another town.

Eduardo del Buey, a United Nations spokesman, said Monday 
that an estimated 30,000 Malian civilians may have been 
displaced since the French started "fighting" last week. 

If they want to make a noticeable difference, they will have
to send in the French Foreign Legion. You can tell the 
difference instantly. Instead of pale and scared kids, the
Legionaires are usually older, well fed and muscled, and
because they live in Madagascar and on Corsica, are quite
nicely tanned, as you would expect from somebody, who chooses
to sign up for training and body-building in the sunshine
for 25 years, or whatever time it takes, until what he had 
done is no longer a reason to chase him. 

I worked in Corsica one summer and got to know some 
Legionaires. Unless things have changed drastically, those 
guys would not have been chased out of town by the Islamists.

So for now, France is just dropping bombs. Lots of them, 
and hopes to get reasonably accurate by mid summer.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous without ability. ---George Bernard Shaw In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. --- Thomas Jefferson Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example. --- Mark Twain
The Greenbaum twins had stumbled across a dead horse. 'What shall we do with it?' asked Johnathan. 'Let's raffle it,' said Joseph. '£2 a ticket, limited sale of 201 tickets.' 'But what happens when the winner finds out it's dead?' reasoned Johnathan. 'So, we'll give him his money back!' was the reply.
As the funeral procession went by, the American tourist inquired of a Dublin policeman: 'Who's dead?' 'I'm not sure,' said the Bobby, 'but I think it's the feller in the front car.'
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Vanessa Brooks, 22, St. Petersburg, Florida Jailed After Stealing Police Cruiser, Fleeing To McDonalds Reported by The Weekly Vice Vanessa Brooks, a 22-year-old Florida woman was jailed Saturday after she allegedly stole a cell phone, stole an officer's patrol car and then fled to a McDonalds in Tampa. According to the Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office, police had been called to a St. Petersburg apartment complex on a domestic violence complaint when one of the officers left his patrol car running because a fight was in progress at the scene. Another officer arrived on the scene and parked directly behind the first officer, but did not leave the keys in the car. While the officers were dealing with the domestic dispute, Brooks flagged down a motorist on a nearby road - then reached into his vehicle, grabbed a cell phone out of his car and then fled on foot. She then ran to a nearby apartment building, where police were dealing with the domestic dispute case. She got into the running police cruiser, backed into the parked cruiser, then took off with the vehicle. The officers were unaware of the incident until they were finished with the domestic case. According to the Tampa Bay Police Department, the stolen cruiser was spotted by officers around 10:00 p.m. with Brooks sitting in the driver's seat. When Brooks saw an officer approach her, she jumped out of the patrol car and fled on foot. She was apprehended a short distance away. Brooks was booked into the Hillsborough County Jail and charged with grand theft auto, obstructing an officer, and burglary. Amazing what some people will do just to get a free glamor shot at the Hillsborough County Sheriffs office! Tech Support Pits From: Darla Re: Java Again Dear Webby, What are your thoughts on the lastest Java News ? Read a clip that is advising people to disable Java & have read other info to update it. I have version 6, update 31. I do have McAfee and wanted to know if I need to do anything. Always appreciate your advice & love your humor letter too. Thanks, Darla Dear Darla Everybody and their dog is trying to get listed as having also commented about Java. Ho Hum. That was Sunday's topic. As I have mentioned, it is easy enough to disable from your browser, and you can just as easily enable it, if you need it for banking. And disable it again afterward. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Epsom Salts For Fabric Softener If you are out of fabric softener, add 1 Tbsp. of Epsom salts to your rinse cycle to make your towels fluffy. By coville123 from Brockville, Ontario Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

'She's a horrible woman,' said Murphy about his mother-in-law. 'She makes her own yoghurt. She puts a pint of milk on the table and stares at it!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A teacher caught a student in the hall during class time and said, "Brooke, tell me, whose class you're cutting this time?" The young teen said, "Like, uh, see, okay, like it's like, I really don't like, think like, that's really important, y'know, like because I'm, y'know, like I don't get anything out of it." The teacher smiled and said, "It's your English class, isn't it?"
» Rainbows


Today, Jan 15, in 
0946 Caliph al-Mustaqfi blinded and ousted
1346 Emperor Louis IV of Bavaria gives Holland/Zealand to 
  his wife Margaretha, 
1535 Henry VIII declares himself head of English Church
1552 France signs secret treaty with German Protestants
1582 Russia cedes Livonia & Estonia to Poland, loses 
   access to the Baltic
1586 Battle at Boxum. Spanish troops under Tassis 
   beat state army
1777 People of New Connecticut (Vermont) declare 
   independence from England
1785 Mozarts string quartet opus 10 premieres
1831 1st US-built locomotive to pull a passenger train
1861 Steam elevator patented by Elisha Otis
1863 1st US newspaper printed on wood-pulp paper, 
   Boston Morning Journal
1870 Donkey 1st used as symbol of Democratic Party, 
   in Harper's Weekly
1895 Tchaikovsky's ballet "Swan Lake" premieres, St Petersburg
1907 3-element vacuum tube patented by Dr Lee de Forest
1907 Gold dental inlays 1st described by William Taggart, 
   who invented them
1915 Japan claims economic control of China
1919 2 million gallons of molasses "Tidal wave" 
   Boston MA, drowning 21
1923 Lithuania seizes & annexes the country of Memel
1934 8.4 earthquake in India/Nepal, 10,700 die
1935 300 Dutch ice cream salesmen protest against Italian
  competition
1936 1st all-glass windowless structure in US completed, 
   Toledo, Ohio
1943 1,000 workers complete the air conditioning system 
   for the Pentagon
1943 Japanese driven off Guadalcanal
1949 Mao's Red army conquers Ten-tsin
1951 "Cloud of Death" rolls down Mount Lamington, 
   New Guinea kills 3-5,000
1955 USSR ends state of war with German Federal Republic
1962 Dutch & Indonesian navy encounter in Etna Bay New Guinea
1964 Teamsters negotiate 1st national labor contract
1971 George Harrison releases "My Sweet Lord"
1971 Russian financed Aswan Dam official opens in Egypt
1973 President Nixon suspends all US offensive action in 
   North Vietnam
1974 "Happy Days" begins an 11 year run on ABC
1988 Arab uprising in Israel begins
1991 UN's deadline for Iraq to withdraw from Kuwait passes - 
   (they don't)
1992 Bulgaria recognizes Macedonia
1994 Queen Elizabeth falls off her horse & breaks her left wrist
1998 NASA announces John Glenn, 76, may fly in space again
2013  smiled


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Now you need IE7 or IE8 on your machine to get McAfee updates 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, January 14

The days are noticeably longer.
Soon they will get warmer too.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Only sick music makes money today. --- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900) Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to do until you can get silly again. --- Mike Myers
One day, Doug was playing ball in the house, which was strictly against the rules, and he accidentally broke a vase in the living room. "Oh, no, my mom's gonna kill me!", he thought desperately. He frantically tried to fix it, any way he could. But tape, glue, even Superglue wouldn't hold all the shards together. He finally left the pieces in a pile on the table, and went to hide in his room. Soon, his mother came home, and he heard her calling him. "Doug, do you know who broke my vase? It's in here all in pieces!" Doug tried to drum up his courage, but at the last minute, he found himself answering, "No, Mom, I don't know." He cringed, waiting for her answer. "That's funny," she said, appearing at his door. "I wanted to thank whoever it was. I've never liked that ugly thing, and if it had not been a gift from your daddy's mom, I would have broken it myself years ago!"
When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session. "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning." "Of course," replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth . . ."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Click on the picture for the large version Uh-Oh!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Jonathon Sullivan, 31, Tewksbury, New Hampshire Picked The Wrong Spot To Burn Off A Buzz Reported by The Weekly Vice Jonathon Sullivan, a 31-year-old Tewksbury man was jailed Tuesday after he allegedly drove drunk to a police station parking lot, where he proceeded to catch a few ZZZ's. According to Windham Police, a dispatcher was viewing live surveillance video of the police station parking lot at about 1:45 a.m. when she spotted a suspicious vehicle parked in the employee parking lot with its engine still running. An officer sent to check on the vehicle found Sullivan asleep in the driver's seat. Officers woke him up and administered a field sobriety test, which he failed. He was apprehended at the scene. Sullivan was booked into jail and charged with driving while intoxicated. He was released after posting a $500 bail. Tech Support Pits From: Steff Re: McAfee Update Dear Webby, I do hope that the injections are helping your eyes. Every time you have to go I am amazed at how much courage it takes - I doubt that I could do it. I have McAfee software on my computer, and I have been using Firefox instead of Explorer, but lately I have been getting a message from McAfee that the updates cannot be installed until I get a more recent version of Internet Explorer. I downloaded the IE7 and IE8 blockers that you have on your "tools" page and I have had no problem with McAfee updates until about a month ago. I know that you use McAfee and you do not use Internet Explorer, so have you had any similar messages? Do you have any suggestions? The simpler the better since I mostly use my computer for email and am lost with anything more technical. Thanks for all of your tech help, and my doctors appreciate the jokes. They are disappointed when I don't have one to tell them at the end of my appointments. Stay well. Steff Dear Steff Currently, and unfortunately, I am using Windows 7. Until the day my XP died, I have used only Firefox there too. I did a whole bunch of searching and it looks like Microsoft has gained control of McAfee. Since then, you need to have IE7 or IE8 installed for Microsoft&McAfee updates. You are allowed to use Firefox for regular work, but for Microsoft&McAfee updates, you have to have IE7 or IE8 ON the machine. It doesn't use it, of course, but it checks if you have it ON the machine. I even wasted almost an hour waiting for and arguing with the Taliban at Microsoft&McAfee. They told me exactly the same. The good news from Microsoft directly is that even with the blocker installed, you can manually download and install IE8. Just download and install it, so that Microsoft&McAfee will stop sniveling. You don't have to actually use it. Also, the current version of IE8 seems to be harmless and not causing any problems. Sorry to be the bearer of sad news, but unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about that. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Dish Drainer to Organize Your Desk Dish drainers are cheap nowadays and can be bought at the dollar store. You can use them to organize your desk and kids books in their rooms. Some drainers even have silverware holders to hold your pens and pencils. I thought this was a cool idea! Source: Simply Frugal By coville123 from Brockville, Ontario Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

My friend's husband always teases her about her lack of in- terest in household chores. One day he came home with a gag gift, a refrigerator magnet that read: "Martha Stewart doesn't live here." The next day he came home to find the magnet holding up a slip of paper. The note read: "Neither does Bob Vila."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Why don't you give up the drinking, smoking and carousing?' said the do-gooder. 'It's too late,' replied Murphy. 'It's never too late,' assured the virtuous one. 'Well, there's no rush then,' smiled Murphy.
» 3D Pencil Art


Today, Jan 14, in 
1641 United East Indian Company conquerors city of Malakka, 
   7,000 killed
1659 Battle at Elvas Portuguese beat Spanish
1690 Clarinet is invented, in Nüremberg, Germany
1699 Massachusetts holds day of fasting for wrongly 
   persecuting "witches"
1717 German mob leader "Sjako" sentenced to death in Amsterdam
1746 Bonnie Prince Charlie's army leaves Glasgow
1783 Congress ratifies peace treaty between US & England
1784 Revolutionary War ends; Congress ratifies the Treaty 
   of Paris
1785 Mozart completes "Dissonantenquartet" (opus 10)
1794 Dr Jessee Bennet of Edom VA, performs 1st successful 
   Cesarean section operation on his wife
1799 Eli Whitney receives government contract for 10,000 muskets
1799 King of Naples flees before the advancing French armies
1814 King of Denmark cedes Norway to King of Sweden
1858 French Emperor Napoleon III escapes attempt on his life 
  by Felice Orsini, an Italian patriot who was later executed
1861 Fort Pikens FL falls into state hands
1863 Battle between gunboats at Bayou Teched LA
1864 General Sherman begins his march to the South
1897 6,960-m (22,834') Cerro Aconcagua (Argentina) 1st climbed
1914 Henry Ford introduces assembly line, for T-Fords
1916 Dutch South Sea dike cracks
1929 Afghan King Amanullah forced to resign
1935 Oil pipeline Iraq-Mediterranean goes into use
1939 All commercial ferry service to East Bay ends
1939 Norway claims Queen Maud Land in Antarctica
1942 Japanese troops land at oil center Balikpapan in Borneo
1950 US recalls all consular officials from China
1950 "As the Girls Go" closes at Winter Garden Theater New 
   York City NY after 420 performances
1952 Snow storm in Sierra NV kills 26
1953 Yugoslavia elects its 1st president (Marshal Tito)
1954 Marilyn Monroe marries baseball star, New York Yankee,
   Joe DiMaggio
1960 US Army promoted Elvis Presley to Sergeant
1963 George C Wallace sworn in as Governor of Alabamaorever!"
1964 Jacqueline Kennedy's 1st public appearance (TV) 
   since assassination
1967 Sonny & Cher release "The Beat Goes On"
1967 Earthquake in Sicily kills 231
1969 25 members of US aircraft carrier Enterprise die 
   during maneuvers
1973 Tap dancer Ray Castle measured at 1440 taps/minutes 
   on BBC TV
1975 USSR breaks trade agreement with US
1989 1,000 muslims burn Rushdies' "Satanic Verses" in 
   Bradford England
1993 Polish ferry boat capsizes in storm, 50 die
1995 10,000s South Africans attend state funeral of Joe Slovo
2013  smiled


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Phony Java Alert 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, January 13

Thank you, Sig!


Click through for the big version

Looks like we are going to have a beautiful day 
in the morning!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

All great truths begin as blasphemies. --- George Bernard Shaw Work to become, not to acquire. --- Confucius It's a great satisfaction knowing that for a brief point in time you made a difference. --- Socratex
Minister, after listening to an impromptu campaign speech, "Before I vote for you for sheriff, I'd like to know if you partake of intoxicating beverages?" Candidate for sheriff, "Before I answer, tell me if this is an inquiry or an invitation."
>From Marion During an attack of laryngitis I lost my voice completely for two days. To help me communicate with him, my husband devised a system of taps. One tap meant, "Give me a kiss," two taps meant "Yes," seven taps meant "No," and 95 taps meant "Take out the garbage."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Click on the picture for the large version One of Brenda's Tennessee Walking Horses playing
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Trudy Miller, 34, Crowley, Louisiana Jailed After Sending Herself Threatening Messages, Blaming Estranged Boyfriend Reported by The Weekly Vice Trudy Miller, a 34-year-old Louisiana woman, was jailed Tuesday after she allegedly sent threatening messages to herself in an attempt to gain sole custody of a child she shares with her estranged boyfriend. According to Crowley Police, an investigation was launched after Miller filed 5 complaints with the department stating that she was being threatened and harassed by her estranged boyfriend. Investigators say Crowley showed them text messages on her cell phone that she claimed came from her boyfriend's cell phone. The messages were increasingly hostile and threatened bodily harm to her. When officers spoke with Miller's estranged boyfriend, he repeatedly insisted that he didn't send the messages and no longer owned the phone that was used to send them. Detectives investigated further and found that Miller was in possession of the phone in question. The boyfriend had left the phone with Miller when the couple broke up. "We also revealed that over 30 threatening text messages received on Miller's phone had been in fact sent to Miller's phone by Miller," said Crowley Police Chief, K.P. Gibson. "With criminal charges pending for stalking, Miller thought she would get full custody (of the couple's child)," said Gibson. Miller was booked into the Acadia Parish Jail and charged with a felony count of false swearing for violation of health or safety (filing a false police report). Her bid for getting full custody AND ALIMONY is on hold. Tech Support Pits From: Ron Re: Java Hi Webby I heard we may want to temporally disable Java because of a hacker problem. How do you do that. I have never done anything with Java but update it. I am not even sure what it does and I have only been computering since 1998 So please teach me. Dear Ron If you have proper protection, like for example McAfee, then don't worry. If you don't have proper protection, then you are in trouble anyway and disabling Java won't make any difference. If you do want to disable Java, in FireFox click on TOOLS, Add-Ons, and in there find Java and click to disable it. Depending on where you browse to, having Java disabled can lock you out, or it won't make a difference. Most banks require Java to be enabled, and also most sites, that have any interactive features. If you don't have good overall protection, you can always enable Java for your banking, and after that, turn it off. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Fishing Line for Cake Cutter Fishing line is a great cake cutter when you want to avoid the cake and icing transferring to the next piece. We did this at my wedding to avoid the vanilla and chocolate cake from mixing and making the icing on the cake look sloppy. I now use the line for my kids party cakes the icing stays where it's supposed to and I don't have to hear kids saying their chocolate has white on it or vise versa. By Kristi from Deer Park, TX By momoffour Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

A man was on a hiking holiday in Wales. He became thirsty, so he decided to stop at a stranger's home to ask for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire. There was a wee pig running around the kitchen -- running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly. The housewife replied: "Ummm, he's not that friendly. That's his bowl you're using!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Sandie Two alligators were sitting at the side of the swamp. The quite smaller one turned to the quite bigger one and said, "I jes can't unnerstand hows you kin be so much bigger'n me. We're the same age, we was the same size as kids. I just don't get it." "Well," said the big 'gator, "What you been eatin', boy?" "Politicians - same as you," replied the small 'gator. "Hmmm. Well, where do y'all catch 'em?" "Down 'tother side of the old swamp near the parkin' lot by the capitol." "Same here. Hmmm. How do you catch 'em?" "Well, I crawls up under one of them Lexuses and wait fer one to unlock the car door. Then I jumps out, grab 'em on the leg, shake the crap out of 'em, and eat 'em!" "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. You ain't gettin' any real nourishment. Ya see, by the time you get done shakin' the crap out of a politician, there ain't nothin' left but an mouth and a briefcase."
» 3D Pencil Art


Today, Jan 13, in 
0888 Duke Odo becomes king of West-France
1099 Crusaders set fire to Mara Syria
1559 Elizabeth I crowned queen of England in Westminster
  Abbey
1610 Galileo Galilei discovers Callisto, 4th satellite 
  of Jupiter 
1830 Great fire in New Orleans thought to be set by 
  rebel slaves 
1849 Vancouver Island granted to Hudson's Bay Co
1854 Anthony Foss patents the accordion
1863 Chenille manufacturing machine patented by William 
   Canter, New York City NY
1863 Thomas Crapper pioneers one-piece pedestal 
   flushing toilet 
1874 US troops land in Honolulu to protect the king
1883 Fire in circus Ferroni in Berditschoft Poland kills 430
1915 Earthquake in Avezzano Italy kills 30,000
1927 US & Mexico battle over oil interests 
1935 Plebiscite in Saar, indicates a desire (90.3%) to join
  Nazi Germany 
1942 German U-boats begin harassing shipping on US east 
   coast 
1942 Henry Ford patents a method of constructing plastic
  auto bodies 
1951 9 Jewish Kremlin physicians "exposed" as British/US
  agents; known as the Doctors' Plot 
1958 9,000 "scientists" of 43 nations petition UN for 
  nuclear test ban 
1968 Beginning of Tet-offensive in Vietnam
1980 Head of narcotic brigade arrested for drug smuggling 
   in Belgium
1985 Express train derails in Ethiopia, kills at least 428
1987 7 top New York Mafia bosses sentenced to 100 years 
   in prison each 
1998 CBS pays $4 billion to televise AFC games for 8-years 
2013  smiled


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Explain how IF formulas work in spreadsheets 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, January 12

-17 and a stiff North Wind makes the walk to the Post office
quite unpleasant, but coming back is fun, with the wind 
pushing at my back, and the sun thawing out my face.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. --- Augusten Burroughs Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them. --- Lily Tomlin
Moishe is being interrogated by the Russian Government: Govt. official: "If you had a yacht, what would you do with it?" Moishe: "Give it to Mother Russia." Govt. Official: "And if you had a palace, what would you do with it?" Moishe: "Give it to Mother Russia." Govt. Official: "And if you had a sweater, what would you do with it?" No reply. Government official asks the question again. And still no reply. Finally he shouts: "Moishe, why don't you reply?" Moishe: "Because I have a sweater."
Going to the front desk of New York's exclusive Pierre Hotel, Mr. Mendelbaum requested some stationery. The clerk asked, "Are you a guest at the hotel?" Mr. Mendelbaum snapped indignantly, "No, I am not a guest. I am paying $300 a day!"
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Click on the picture for the large version Snow In Jerusalem 1-10-2013 No gullible Warming there either!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Brenda Shumann, 51, Vera Beach, Florida Jailed After Confronting Estranged Husband And New Girlfriend With Rifle, Defecating On Floor Reported by The Weekly Vice Brenda Schumann, a 51-year-old Vero Beach woman was jailed after she allegedly defecated on her estranged husband's floor after finding him in bed with his new girlfriend. According to the Indian River County Sheriff's Office, Brenda Schumann and her husband are in the process of a divorce and Mrs. Schumann moved out of the couple's home several months ago. There was just one problem. Mrs. Schumann didn't forget where all the guns in the house were kept. Investigators say Schumann forced her way into her husband's home, armed herself with a rifle that was stored inside the house and then stormed into her husband's bedroom where he was sleeping naked with his new girlfriend. She then allegedly pointed the rifle at the couple and told them that she was going to kill them both. As Mrs. Schumann argued with her estranged husband, the female victim attempted to grab the gun, prompting Mrs. Schumann to kick her several times. Mr. Schumann, feeling a bit inferior to his girlfriend at this point, jumped into the fray and wrestled the gun away from Mrs. Schumann. He then hid the gun in a closet. The bewildered Mrs. Schumann left the bedroom and proceeded to urinate on the floor of a hallway that extended to the bedroom. Unsatisfied with saturating the carpet with her urine, she then proceeded down to the kitchen where she defecated on the floor. Inspired with a renewed sense of purpose, Mrs. Shumann found another rifle that was stored in the house and began breaking pictures, mirrors, Christmas decorations, and other belongings. She then left in her vehicle still carrying the second rifle. When officers went to her residence to question her, she initially opened the door but then slammed it shut in the officers' faces. They did not like that and she was taken into custody a short time later. During a police interview, Schumann asked the officers "I found him in bed with a naked chick. What was I supposed to do?" Apparently she believed that even after moving out, she still owned him and could demand everlasting celibacy. Officers involved were just glad they aren't in the housecleaning business. Schumann was booked into jail and was charged with aggravated domestic assault, and resisting arrest without violence. More charges are likely to follow. Tech Support Pits From: Annelie Re: Spreadsheet Dear Webby I was quite impressed with your automatic date comparison formula for Excel, and have of course copied it carefully. It works exactly as you described, if the date is in the warning zone, it puts it into the first column. Fancy! I played around with it a bit, and got it to do different things, but I don't really understand how to craft formulas like that from scratch. How do they work? Thanks Annelie Dear Annelie The heart of that formula is the "=IF" (In Quattro it would be @IF) "=IF" starts the IF comparison Lets say you put the formula into the top cell of the left-most column, into A1 Into the second column put a bunch of random numbers The same with the thrird, the C column. Now write into A1 =IF(B1>C1,"Larger","Smaller") The formula checks IF B1 is Larger (>) than C1 IF that is TRUE, then it prints the first option, the word "Larger", into A1, where the formula is. IF that comparison is FALSE, then it prints the second option, the word "Smaller". Now copy the formula and paste it down the first column. You will see, wherever the number in the second column is larger, it prints or shows the word "Larger". Now, go back to A1. We are going to mess with the formula. Instead of "Smaller" as the second option, just put two double quotes "" with nothing in between them. Copy the formula and paste it down the first column. As you probably suspected, now it shows a blank cell, whenever the comparison was False. Clear enough? OK, so we will mess with it some more! Go to A1 change the formula to =IF(B1>C1,"B1+C1","B1-C1") What we did, we told that if the comparison is true, then ADD what is in B1 plus C1, but if it is false, then subtract B1 from C1. Go ahead, copy the formula from A1 and paste it down the first column. As you saw, you can put all kinds of further formulas into the Result options of the IF formula, not just text. Now go to cell D1 and type: Your invoice is due And into cell E1 type Thank you for paying Copy both D1 and E1 down their columns And change the formula in A1 to =IF(B1>C1,D1,E1) Now, if the IF comparison is true, it prints whatever is in D1 but if it is False, it prints whatever is in E1 Copy the formula down the A column. You see how you can use the formula to automatically generate the text to put into an email. You can, of course write much more than just one line and count on the word-wrap in the email program. ALT and ENTER gives you a line break, two of them give you a paragraph break. Instead of just numbers in the second and third column, you can of course put dates and make it more useful. The comparison spots don't have to be adjacent to the formula. They can even be on different sheets! If you have the dates to compare on Sheet 2, then you would use =IF(Sheet2!B3>Sheet2!C3,D3,E3) Sheet2!B3 tells it to look at the data in B3 on Sheet 2, On Quattro, you would use B: for the second sheet, C: for the third, and so on. That means you can have a nice, clean front page, pulling data or looking up data and text on other sheets. You could, for example, have payment dates on sheet 2, and response texts on sheet 3. If you don't watch it, that kind of tricks will get you organized before you know it! Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Buying Smoke Free Items Online I've seen a lot of complaints about items purchased on eBay smelling bad. It happened to me too. I bought a vintage perfume and the presentation box so reeked of cigarette smoke, I had to throw that beautiful box away. So now, before bidding, I contact the seller and ask, "Does this item have any odors of tobacco products, pets, or cooking on it?". Beware of vague answers like, "I don't know", "I'm not sure", "I don't think so", "I can't tell" etc. You get the picture. If items have no odors, the seller will come right out and tell you. Especially beware of sellers who don't answer the question at all. Be sure to save the email. Unfortunately, some sellers are dishonest. You can use the email to file a complaint under "item misrepresented". Happy shopping! By perfume and powder from Chesapeake, VA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

PATIENT REPORTS The following quotes are reported to have been taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians... * By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. * Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. * On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared. * The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983. * Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. * I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor. * The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him. * Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful. * The patient refused an autopsy. * The patient has no past history of suicides. * The patient expired on the floor uneventfully. * Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital. * The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. * She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December. * The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her original complaints. * The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed. * She is numb from her toes down. * The skin was moist and dry. * Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches. * Coming from Detroit, this man has no children. * Patient was alert and unresponsive. * When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A couple trying to break into society hosted a dinner party. As the guests were enjoying their dinner salad, the maid called the hostess from the table. The maid informed her that the cat had climbed on the kitchen table and eaten a large portion of the salmon's midsection. The hostess decided to drive to the corner store to get some canned salmon to fill the eaten portion. Later, as the guests were enjoying the fish, the maid called the hostess into the kitchen and announced while wringing her hands, "Madam, the cat is dead." The hostess and her husband informed the guests and suggested it might be best if everyone went to the hospital and had their stomachs pumped. Returning home, the couple asked the maid where she had put the cat. "It is still out on the driveway where you ran over it on the way back from the corner store."
» Best Winter Trips


Today, Jan 12, in 
1493 Last day for all Jews to leave Sicily 
1807 Gunpowder-ship explodes in Leiden Netherlands, 150 die
1812 1st cargo arrives in New Orleans by steam, from Natchez
1839 Anthracite coal 1st used to smelt iron, Mauch Chunk PA
1896 1st X-ray photo in US (Dr Henry Smith, Davidson NC) 
1929 Seatrain (RR cars on ships) service begins, 
   New Orleans-Havana 
1937 Plow for laying submarine cable patented
1943 Frankfurters replaced by Victory Sausages (mix of 
   meat & soy meal) 
1945 US Task Force 38 destroys 41 Japanese ships in 
   Battle of South China Sea 
1950 Swedish tanker rams British submarine Truculent 
   in Thames, 64 die 
1954 Austria's worst avalanche-kills 200; 
   9hours later 2nd one-kills 115 
1970 Boeing 747 makes its maiden voyage 
1990 Romania bans Communist party (1st Warsaw Pact 
   member to do so) 
1994 Malcolm X's daughter arrested for plotting 
   Louis Farrakhan's murder 
2013  smiled


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Excel formula for IF and the DATE 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, January 9

By the time you read this, I will be on the way to
Calgary for more injections into my eyes.
That means there won't be any newsletters on 
Thursday, Friday, and probably Saturday.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. --- Thomas Jones
>From Ed My father is a skilled CPA who is not great at self-promotion. So when an advertising company offered to put my father's business placard in the shopping carts of a supermarket, my dad jumped at the chance. Fully a year went by before we got a call that could be traced to those placards. "Richard Larson, CPA?" the caller asked. "That's right," my father answered. "May I help you?" "Yes," the voice said. "One of your shopping carts is in my yard, and I want you to come and get it."
Chinese Switchboard: Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? Operator : Yes, you can speak to me. Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan! Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this? Caller: I'm Sum Wan, and I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent. Operator: I know U are someone and U want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about? Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital. Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this! Caller: You are so rude! Who are you? Operator: I'm Saw Lee. Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Taped Icelander Bonehead tapd to chair after becoming unruly during flight. Reported by The Weekly Vice An unidentified man aboard a flight from Iceland to New York was reportedly restrained by the flight crew and passengers after he allegedly became unruly during the flight and threatened the safety of other passengers. Witnesses say the man began to choke a woman seated next to him while screaming that the plane was going to crash. Efforts to calm the man down failed, prompting passengers and flight crew to restrain the man with duct tape and plastic zip ties. According to the port authority of New York and New Jersey, a 46-year-old man was taken into custody at JFK airport after he became intoxicated and created a disturbance during the flight. Because the passengers and crew had to meet connecting flights or meet relatives, they did not want to spend time giving detailed statements and so prosecutors declined to charge the bonehead. It seems he was released after he had sobered up. Tech Support Pits From: Lisa Re: Spreadsheet IF formula Dear Webby I use an Excel spreadsheet to keep track of birthdays. I got the dates in the second column, and need a formula to put the date also in the first column, if the date is within one day of today or before. Can that be done? Lisa Dear Lisa Yes, sure! Type or paste this into the topmost cell of the area, where you got the dates in the second column: =IF(B1-2<.TODAY(),B1,"") (Ignore the red period, that is just to make the formula show as a formula on all email programs.) Then copy that down as far as where the dates in the second column end. All the birthdays, that are within the range you specify between the - and the < will show up in the first column. If the first column shows some silly number, then format that column to show in date format. To make it a bit more elegant, insert a new row above all that stuff, and type column headings into it. If column K is free, put for example the number 3 into the top there. Then edit the formula to read =IF(B1-$K$1<.TODAY(),B1,"") (Ignore the red period, that is just to make the formula show as a formula on all email programs.) and copy that down the first column. Now the formula will look up what you got in K1 and use that as the criteria, in this case, 3 You will get a safety margin of whatever you got in K1 days minus 1. If you want a 7 day safety margin, put 8 into K1 You can change the safety margin without messing with the dates. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Old Liquid Makeup as a Fun Learning Tool Use old liquid makeup for a fun learning tool. There are some foundation liquids that I don't like or they get old so I lay waxed paper down and let my granddaughter practice her letter writing. It is a fun, tactile way to use up some of the old makeup instead of throwing it away. By lnygaard By LMN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

A friend of mine was in the hospital awaiting the arrival of her first child. When I telephoned the hospital to see if the baby had arrived, the nurse said it had. I asked if it was a boy or girl and was told that it was against hospital policy to give this information over the phone. "Fine," I said. "I can understand that. But can you tell me what she didn't have?" "It wasn't a boy," came the reply.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The teacher told the kids to draw a grassy meadow and a cow eating the grass. By the end of the hour, all the kids had some more or less artistic rendering of that topic, except for . had a blank page. So the teacher asked, "Where is your grass?" answered: "The cow ate it all." Then the teacher asked: "Where is the cow?" answered: "When there was no grass left, the cow walked away. ---------------------- If you have "Mrs Endaphelia Crofton-Dinglebert-Smythe III" in the filed, where I had asked you to put your FIRST NAME, then that joke falls flat. Tell me what your first name is, and I will fix that.
» Amazing Photos


Today, Jan 9, in 
1349 700 Jews of Basel Switzerland, burned alive in their
  houses
1493 1st sight of manatees (by Christopher Columbus) 
1570 Tsar Ivan the terrible kills 1000-2000 residents 
   of Novgorod 
1760 Afghans defeat Marathas in battle of Barari Ghat 
1793 Jean Pierre Blanchard makes 1st balloon flight in 
   North America
1839 Daguerrotype photo process announced at French 
   Academy of Science 
1839 Thomas Henderson measures 1st stellar parallax 
   (Alpha Centauri) 
1855 Clipper Guiding Star disappears in Atlantic, 480 die
1861 1st hostile act of Civil War; Star of the West fired on,
   Sumter SC
1861 Mississippi becomes 2nd state to secede
1880 6' (1.8 meters) of snow falls in Seattle in 5 days
1912 US marines invade Honduras 
1936 Semi-automatic rifles adopted by US army
1941 6,000 Jews exterminated in pogrom in Bucharest Romania
1945 US soldiers led by General Douglas MacArthur invade
   Philippines 
1951 Life After Tomorrow, 1st film to receive an "X" rating,
   premieres
1956 Abigail Van Buren's "Dear Abby" column 1st appears 
   in newspapers
1964 Anti-US rioting breaks out in the Panamá Canal Zone
1969 Concorde jetliner's 1st test flight (Bristol England) 
1972 Billionaire Howard Hughes said Clifford Irving's 
   biography is a fake
1972 Passenger ship Queen Elizabeth destroyed by fire 
1980 63 beheaded in Mecca, Saudi Arabia 
1985 Calgary Flames set NHL record 264th regular season game
   without being shut-out 
1987 Chinese/Vietnamese border fights, 1500 killed 
1995 Ecuador & Peru involve in boundary fight 
1998 Decapitated head of Danish Little Mermaid is returned
1998 Hockey News selects Wayne Gretzky best NHL player ever 
2013  smiled


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Quacking a Telemarketer 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, January 8

To the thousands who wrote about Pearl Harbor:
Yes, you are right and I was wrong.
Somehow the history feed got messed up and I had 
Dec 7 instead of January 7.
Sorry about that!

I will write a Wednesday newsletter, but tomorrow morning 
I have to go to Calgary and get more injections into my 
eyeballs. That means there won't be any newsletters on 
Thursday, Friday, and probably Saturday.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value. --- Arthur C. Clarke The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvelously. --- Henry Kissinger
Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up. Michael O'Conner looks around and asks, "Oh, me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?" They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. "Discreet??? I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me." Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers and asks what he wants. Gallagher declares: "Your husband just lost $500 and is afraid to come home." "Tell him to drop dead!", says Murphy's wife. "OK, if you insist. I'll go tell him." says Gallagher
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one." The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Zachariah Dalton Howard, 22, in Niceville, Florida Jailed After Failing To Successfully Rob Convenience Store, Calling His Mother For A Ride Home Niceville, Florida Reported by The Weekly Vice Zachariah Dalton Howard, a 22-year-old Niceville man was jailed Saturday after he allegedly tried to rob a convenience store, then called his mother for a ride home. According to the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office, Howard reportedly walked into the 'Thumbs Up' convenience store around 10:00 p.m., told the clerk he had a gun, and demanded money. The robbery attempt went bust when the clerk opened the cash drawer and showed Howard that it didn't contain any money. Investigators say Howard fled the scene and went to a nearby grocery store where he called his mother and asked her for a ride home. Howard was identified as the would-be robber and taken into custody a short time later. During an interview with detectives, Howard stated that he did not originally intend to rob the store, but decided to commit the robbery when he arrived at the store. Officers determined that Howard did not have a gun with him at the time of the robbery attempt. He was booked into the Okaloosa County Jail and charged with robbery without a weapon or firearm. His bond was set at $15,000. Tech Support Pits From: Ellen Re: Telemarketers Dear Webby My Mother-in-Law is helping out in my business now, doing book keeping and answering the phone. The problem is, if she is in the middle of something complex, and a telemarketer interrupts her, she gets quite irate and obnoxious and nearly blows a gasket. I don't want her to have a stroke or heart attack. What do you recommend? Ellen Dear Ellen Go to the Dollar Store or any store that has squeaky toys and get a "Donald Duck" with a duck-like squawk. (Quack Quack instead of Squqak Squeak) Give it to her and tell her to answer the phone with that, whenever she does not recognize the number. If it is a customer after all, she can still switch to her own voice and blame the quacking on the phone company. However, if it is a telemarketer, as usual when there is a 1-888 or similar number showing, she can answer by squeezing her Donal Duck. She might wet her knickers from laughing, and so would any innocent bystanders, but she won't get irate and cussing and scaring customers. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Hide Spare House Key Under Vinyl Siding My uncle taught me a good way to hide a key, under the vinyl on the house. He had a spot on his vinyl siding that he put a extra key in case they were locked out, or if someone had to get in for emergency purposes. He told very few of us in the family where it was. There is a little lip on the vinyl siding that held the key in place. By Lindaspy from South Beloit, IL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

A drunk man, who smelled like beer, sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of booze was sticking out of his coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the man turned to the priest and asked. "Say,Father, what causes arthritis?" The priest replied, "My Son, it's caused by loose living; being with cheap, wicked women; too much alcohol; contempt for your fellow man; sleeping around with prostitutes; and lack of bathing." The drunk muttered in response, "Well, I'll be darned," then returned to his paper. The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?" The drunk answered, "I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
There was a preacher whose wife was expecting a baby so he went before the congregation and asked for a raise. After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the preacher's family expanded, so would his paycheck. After 6 children, this started to get expensive and the Congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the preacher's salary. There was much yelling and bickering about how much the clergyman's additional children were costing the church. Finally, the Preacher got up and spoke to the crowd, "Children are a gift from God," he said. Silence fell on the congregation. In the back pew, a little old lady stood up and in her frail voice said, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers." And the congregation said, "Amen."
» Amazing Photos


Today, Jan 8, in 
0624 Moslem army occupies Kurash
0794 Church at Lindisfarne, England destroyed by Vikings
1598 Jews are expelled from Genoa Italy
1806 Lewis & Clark find skeleton of 105' blue whale in Oregon
1838 1st telegraph message sent using dots & dashes, New Jersey 
1856 Dr John A Veatch discovers borax, Tuscan Springs CA 
1884 Chrome tanning process for leather patented by 
   Augustus Schultz 
1929 1st telephone connection between Netherlands & West-Indies 
1935 Spectrophotometer patented, AC Hardy
1940 Britain's 1st WWII rationing (bacon, butter & sugar) 
1954 Elvis Presley pays $4 to a Memphis studio & records 
  his 1st two songs, "Casual Love" & "I'll Never Stand 
  in Your Way" 
1956 Elvis Presley's "Don't Be Cruel/Hound Dog" single 
  goes to #1 & stays #1 for a record 11 weeks 
1958 Cuban revolutionary forces capture Havana 
1962 Dutch express train crashes into slow commuter train, 
  91 die
1971 29 pilot whales beach themselves & die at 
   San Clemente Island CA
1979 512 die as oil tanker Bantry Bay blows up
1979 Vietnamese troops overtook Khmer Rouge & 
   occupy Phnom Penh
1985 Japan launches Sakigake space probe to Halley's Comet 
1986 President Reagan freezes Libyan assets in the US
1995 15th United Negro College Fund raises $12,200,000 
1996 Blizzard buries eastern US causing at least 50 deaths 
1998 Roseanne files for divorce from 3rd husband Ben Thomas
1998 Unabomber suspect Theodore Kaczynski asks to act as 
   his own lawyer
1998 World Trade Center bomber Ramzi Ahmed Yousef 
   sentenced to life 
2013 NHL strike ends. Players fire their union, Owners
   and Players accept arbitrator's recommendation. 2013
   will be a short season abut it will start next weekend.
2013  smiled


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How do I get rid of invisible XLS files? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, January 7

Thank you Reuben!


In the late 1930s and early 1940s Japan and the US had a
steady shoving match going on in Asia, practising ships guns
and sinking each others ships, even including expensive
submarines, but since neither side attacked the other side's
homeland, that was all considered peaceful practise.
Who would have thought, that the Japanese scoundrels would
take it serious?

Well, it seems, they did.
Today in 1941 they attacked Pearl Harbor, 
and the knives came out.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

All phone calls are obscene. --- Karen Elizabeth Gordon If only we'd stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time. --- Edith Wharton
Thanks to Katie for this classic: Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "Yes" WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN: "Sure, ..go ahead if you like it that much." WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2006 models. I saw one I really liked." MAN: "How much?" WOMAN: "$65,000" MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000." MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000." WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!" MAN: "Bye, I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he grins and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?
A man was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. The plane had a layover in Sacramento. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft, the plane would re-board in one hour. Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. Another man had noticed him as he walked by and could tell the gentleman was blind because his Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight. He could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him, and calling him by name, said, "Keith, we're in Sacramento for an hour, would you like to get off and stretch your legs? " The blind man replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs." Picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines! True story....Have a great day and remember... Things aren't always as they appear.
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Jacob Cox-Brown, 18, Astoria, Oregon Jailed after posting about drunken driving, hit-and-run on Facebook Reported by SlashDot Police arrested an Oregon teenager who confessed on Facebook that he had been driving drunk on New Year's Eve and hit someone's car. Astoria police say officers were investigating a hit and run involving a sideswiped car when two Facebook friends of Jacob Cox-Brown contacted authorities to report a Facebook post in which the 18-year-old wrote: "Drivin drunk ... classsic;) but to whoever's vehicle i hit i am sorry. :P" Deputy Chief Brad Johnston says Cox-Brown was charged with failure to perform the duties of a driver. He was not charged with drunken driving because in Oregon the written admission on Facebook is not sufficient evidence that he was intoxicated. He will have to kill somebody first. Tech Support Pits From: Anita Re: Invisible files Dear Webby I got an email from ??™? with no text, but an attachment called ½µµÍ²É¹ºfu³É±¾.xls Naturally, Windoze7 can't cope with that and won't let me delete that attachment, which most likely has some wicked Excel macros in it. Windoze7 won't even show it in a way, that would let me rename it to a name, that I could delete. How do I get rid of it? Anita Dear Anita For that you have to step back into good old DOS. First hover over the attachment, without clicking of course, and watch in the status line what the file location is. In my case it would be: D:\Alpha\Eudora\Attachments Then go to the directory above that, in my case that would be D:\Alpha\Eudora\ In yours it is bound to be different, but you get the idea. Highlight the Attachments directory, Hold down the SHIFT key Rightclick the mouse Open Command Window here That is a secret trick that they accidentally left in there from troubleshooting. When the black DOS window is open, type: dir *.xls Probably that bad news file is the only Excel file that will show up. If it is the only one, then type del *.xls hit Enter, and it is gone. You can verify it by again typing dir *.xls and hitting Enter. If a whole bunch of XLS files showed up, then you have to move the keepers somewhere else. No big deal. Type md XLS-Keepers and hit Enter. md stands for Make Directory. Everything in DOS is that simple, just like in Linux. Now look at one of the files, that you want to keep, for exmple grammas-tax-receipts.xls You saw that md stands for Make Directory What would be a good command for move? try mv /? That tells you all about it. a space and /? will show you the help file on any command. Yes, mv filename destination will work. So type mv grammas-tax-receipts.xls XLS-Keepers And do the same with all the XLS files, that you have received as attachments, and that you want to keep for good. dir *.xls will show you which ones are left. Once all the keepers are moved out of the way, then you can safely type del *.xls and get rid of the malicious file. * is a wildcard, and simply means anything on that side of the dot, even if you can't type the weird characters. If you were not able to fall back to good old DOS, or boot up with a linux Live CD, you would not be able to get rid of that file. I get those files too now and then. Luckily I use MailWasher, which shows them to me, so that I can nuke them right on the server. My MailWasher of course recognized the threat and flagged it for deletion. If I don't touch anything and just hit F6 for PROCESS, that mail and it's attachment will be sent to hell, without ever downloading it. Why all the fuss? Why not just ignore that file, since Windows 7 can't see it anyway? Excel files can have macros in them, that activate other macros (programs) at a certain calendar date. Personally, I really don't want to find out what somebody in North Korea wants my computer to do at that time and date. If I didn't have MailWasher, I would spend three or four seconds in DOS, and then dump the recycle bin. I have absolutely nothing against Excel files, that I created, or that people I know have created. However, when they come from somebody. whose name I can't read, then I do NOT want them anywhere near my computer. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep Extra Garbage Bags Under the One in Use When one full bag of garbage is taken out, I replace it with a new one. I make sure there are 6 folded bags under the new one. I always have a full week of garbage bags without hunting for them when they have to be replaced. That way the bags are out of the way and ready for the next bag of garbage. By Macie4 from Walnut Creek, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

A priest was vested in his surplice and cassock ready to proceed at the beginning of a procession. His surplice was very ornate, and he was swinging the incense pot, which had smoke coming from it. Lance, the flaming fruit from across the street, touched him on the shoulder and said, "Darling, I love your dress, but your purse is on fire!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A large dog walks into a butcher's shop with a purse in its mouth. He puts the purse down and sits in front of the meat case. "What is it, boy?" the butcher asks, joking around with his customers. "Want to buy some meat?" "Woof!" barks the dog. "Hmm," says the butcher. "What kind? Liver, bacon, steak--" "Woof!" interrupts the dog. "And how much steak? Half a kilo, one kilo--" "Woof!" says the dog. The amazed butcher wraps up the meat and finds the money in the dog's purse. As the dog leaves, the butcher decides to follow. The dog enters an apartment house, climbs to the third floor, and begins to scratch on the door. With that, the door swings open and an angry woman starts shouting at the dog. "Stop!" yells the butcher. "What are you doing? That's the most clever animal I've ever seen!" "Clever?" counters the woman. "This is the third time this week he's forgotten his keys!"
» Amazing Photos


Today in 
0036 -BC- Earliest known Mayan inscription, Stela 2 at 
   Chiapa de Corzo
0043 -BC- Marcus Tullius Cicero, Roman writer, gets his 
  head & right hand chopped off by Mark Antony's soldiers 
0185 Emperor Lo-Yang, China sees supernova (MSH15-52?) 
1868 Jesse James gang robs bank in Gallatin MO, kills 1 
1877 Thomas A Edison demonstrates the gramophone 
1909 Leo Baekeland, Yonkers NY, patents 1st thermosetting 
   plastic (Bakelite) 
1912 Bust of Queen Nefertete found in El-Amarna, Egypt 
1917 US becomes 13th country to declare war on Austria 
   during World War I
1926 Gas refrigerator patented
1932 1st gyro-stabilized vessel to cross the Atlantic 
   arrives in New York  
1934 Wiley Post discovers the jet stream
1941 Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor
1941 Japanese submarine sunk by a US ship (USS Ward) 
1941 Australian bombers land on Timor/Ambon 
1941 German siege of Tobruk after 8 months ends
1945 Microwave oven patented 
1949 Chiang Kai-shek flees to Taiwan
1972 Apollo 17 (US), final manned lunar landing mission 
   (last of Apollo Moon series), launched 
1975 Indonesian army occupies East Timor 
1976 UN Security Council endorses Kurt Waldheim, 
  Secretary-General for 2nd 5 year term 
1981 Spain becomes a member of the NATO
1986 President Jean-Claude Duvalier flees Haïti 
1987 Palestinian uprising against Israel in West Bank 
1988 Yasser Arafat recognizes existence of Israel 
1988 Earthquake in Armenia - 6.9, >100,000 killed, 
   5,000,000 homeless
1990 Ted Turner  (CNN) & Hanoi Jane announce their 
   engagement
2013 NHL strike ends. Players fire their union, Owners
   and Players accept arbitrator's recommendation. 2013
   will be a short season abut it will start next weekend.
2013  smiled


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Converting MP4 for use in old CD players 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, January 6

Thank you Reuben!

>From Chuck 
Hi Webby,
I held on to hotmail for years until a few months ago. 
I finally had to bite the bullet. It will take months 
to wean all my contacts off that address, but I was forced 
into it because the account has been consistently highjacked 
every 2-3 weeks. I don't know how the crooks get my new 
password, but they do. And it's been consistent for several 
months. I have no problem with any other emails or accounts. 
I run McAfee. Strange, but it finally got me to dump homail.
Chuck


Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected." --- Will Rogers
One beautiful winter evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said "Hey baby, let's play Weeweechu." "Oh no, not now, lets look at the moon" said Jung Lee. "Oh, c'mon baby, let's you and I play Weeweechu, I love you and its the perfect time," Huan Cho begged. "But I rather just hold your hand and watch the moon." "Please Jung Lee, just once play Weeweechu with me." Jung Lee looked at Huan Chi and said, "OK, we'll play Weeweechu." Huan Cho grabbed his guitar and both sang: "Weeweechu a merry Christmas, Weeweechu a merry Christmas, Weeweechu a merry Christmas, ann a happy New Year."
Seen in the parking lot of a brand new department store, painted on the ground at a crosswalk in letters 4 feet tall: YELD Close, but not close enough. The next week I drove through the same parking lot and found it was changed. They had painted an I between the existing letters. Now it read YEILD. About two months later they finally fixed it. The old lettering was painted over with black and freshly painted on top of that was the word SPOT.
What is Metabolic Cooking? Basically it is simply adding certain ingredients, that will cause your body to utilize and use up fat as fuel instead of storing it. No, not buying all kinds of tricky stuff, just using one type of berry instead of another with your pancakes, one type of garnish instead of another with your hamburger, and so on. You get understanding and skills with this, not a pile of expensive bottles. Learn Metabolic Cooking!

Click on the picture for the large version Aurora from ISS
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Deni Noa, 24, Stock Island, Florida Jailed for Assaulting Woman, Laying Naked In Street, Assaulting Deputies Reported by The Weekly Vice Deni Noa, a 24-year-old Florida man was jailed Monday after he allegedly punched a random female driver in the face, stripped naked in the street, then threatened to kill arresting deputies. According to the Monroe County Sheriff's Office, deputies were called to the scene of an altercation after a witness reported that he saw a man, later identified as Noa, reach into a woman's car and punch her in the face before fleeing the scene on foot. When deputies arrived on the scene, they spoke to the victim who gave a description of the suspect. While the deputy was talking to the victim, deputies received a report that a man had stripped off his clothing and was laying in the middle of a nearby road. The description of that suspect matched the description provided by the woman from the assault report. When the deputy arrived at the scene, he found two men struggling with a naked man in the middle of the road, attempting to put him in the trunk of a vehicle. The deputy held all three men at "Taser point" until back-up arrived on the scene. It was later determined that the other two men where Noa's brothers. Deputies helped Noa get dressed, and he was positively identified by the woman and a witness as the suspect from the first incident. When deputies tried to handcuff Noa, he resisted and threatened the deputies' lives. He continued to be physically belligerent at the station, even kicking an officer in the knee while being transported by elevator to the jail's upper floors. He was placed in a restraint chair for both his safety and the safety of the officers. Noa was booked into the Monroe County Jail and charged with assault and battery on a law enforcement officer, making threats to a law enforcement officer, resisting arrest with violence, and resisting arrest without violence. A ccording to inmate records, this is his fifth time in that jail alone. More charges may be added later.
Tech Support Pits From: Bob Re: Convert MP4 for old CD player Dear Webby I downloaded several songs from I-tunes that are in the MPEG-4 audio format and I cannot play them on my older CD player. What do you recommend? Thanks for any help. Bob Dear Bob There are lots of free converters on the net, that let you convert MP4 to MP3, WAV, whatever you want, even MIDI. Pick one that suits you, download it and install it. Then you can convert anything you got to whatever format your player demands. There is even an online converter in my Tool Box. With that, you don't need to install anything on your computer, you just upload your music in one format, and download it in another one. Or try for example Pconverter from http://pconverter.com/d/ Install it and convert your files without going online. That too is in my Tool Box. That and all the better converters also handle the videos, that are combined with most of today's music. For your old style player you simply rip the music and ignore the video. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freeze Excess Coffee In Cubes When I have left over coffee that I did not have time to finish, I put it in ice cube trays and freeze, then I put in a ziplock bag. If I feel like having iced coffee or mocha, I put it in the blender. Pour into a glass and enjoy! By coville123 from Brockville, Ontario Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

A young honeymoon couple were touring southern Florida and happened to stop at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road. After seeing the sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes. "Gosh!" exclaimed the new bride. "You certainly have a dangerous job. Don't you ever get bitten by the snakes?" "Yes, upon rare occasions," answered the handler. "Well," she continued, "just what do you do when you're bitten by a snake?" "I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I am bitten, I make deep criss-cross marks across the fang entry and then suck the poison from the wound." "What, uh... what would happen if you were to accidentally *sit* on a rattler?" persisted the woman. "Ma'am," answered the snake handler, "that will be the day I learn who my real friends are."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Q. What is your name? A. Ernestine McDowell. Q. And what is your marital status? A. Fair. Q. Now, Mrs. McDowell, how was your first marriage terminated? A. By death. Q. And by whose death was it terminated? Q. Mrs. McDowell, did you say he was shot in the woods? A. No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region. Q: The truth of the matter is that you were not an unbiased, objective witness, isn't it. You too were shot in the fracas? A: No, sir. I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval.
» Tallest Buildings


Today in 
1066 King Harald of England crowned 
1496 Moorish fortress Alhambra, near Grenada, 
   surrenders to the Christians 
1540 King Henry VIII of England married his 4th wife, 
   Anne of Cleves
1639 Virginia is 1st colony to order surplus crops 
 (tobacco) destroyed to keep the price up
1681 1st recorded boxing match (Duke of Albemarle's 
  butler vs his butcher) 
1838 Samuel Morse made 1st show of telegraph
1842 4,500 British & Indian troops leave Kabul, 
   get massacred before they get to safety in India 
1857 Patent for reducing zinc ore granted to Samuel 
   Wetherill, Pennsylvania
1893 Great Northern Railway connects Seattle with east coast
1898 1st telephone message from a submerged submarine by 
   Simon Lake 
1912 New Mexico becomes 47th state
1914 Stock brokerage firm of Merrill Lynch founded
1950 Britain recognizes Communist government of China
1958 Gibson patents the Flying V Guitar
1971 Berkeley chemists announces 1st synthetic 
  growth hormones 
1972 Vladimir Bukovski is exiled from USSR
1974 England begins 3 day work week during mine strike
1978 US hand over St Stephan crown to Hungary 
1980 Philadelphia Flyers set NHL record of 35 straight 
   games without a defeat 
1986 Impala Platinum fires 20,000 black mine workers 
   in Johannesburg 
1987 Astronomers at University of California see 1st sight
  of birth of a galaxy 
1994 Ice skater Nancy Kerrigan is attacked by Tonya 
  Harding's bodyguard 
1998 Don Sutton selected to Baseball Hall of Fame 
2013  smiled


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What is the Friends List? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, January 5

I have a feeling that HotMail is going to be eliminated
soon. I unsubscribed about a few hundred HotMail users
today, because their newsletter has bounced too many times,
and I still have about two hundred to do.

Online viewing has risen proportionately. We didn't
lose all those people, some will be reading the Humor Letter
at http://webby.com/humor, and some probably 
migrated to Gmail.

If you are still on Hotmail, I would highly recommend
that you get an alternate email address, 
and shift anything important over to that.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd. --- Voltaire Drink nothing without seeing it; sign nothing without reading it. --- Spanish Proverb Vegetarianism is harmless enough, though it is apt to fill a man with wind and self-righteousness. --- Sir Robert Hutchinson Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right. --- Kurt Herbert Alder
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did *I* get the ticket?" "Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man. "Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied. The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch *all* the fish?"
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic. "Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "To draw out all his savings before the inlaws get at them ?"
One Click Privacy Secure your computer with one click. Keep your activities 100% private with One Click Privacy

Click on the picture for the large version Devvetashka Cave, Bulgaria
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to June Ortega, 21, Albuquerque Jailed for killing her 1 yr old baby Reported by Carole Albuquerque police have charged a mother with killing her baby, who was only days away from her first birthday. The child, Nevaeh, died right before Christmas, but now investigators have determined the injuries made her death a murder. June Ortega, 21, appeared in court Friday. Police said the child's autopsy uncovered multiple skull fractures and blood in the brain. Doctors said the injuries appeared to be from being hit with a blunt object. “This child had apparently suffered ongoing child abuse and the results were astounding,” Albuquerque police officer Tasia Martinez said. “Detectives did find a screwdriver in the playpen, tucked in the side of the playpen. We don't if (her skull fractures) are related, but the doctors say this wasn't an accident.” Police were called to Ortega’s apartment on Dec. 22 because the child wasn’t breathing. Officers said the child’s cause of death wasn’t clear at the time, so Ortega wasn’t arrested then. Martinez said police hope this tragic case is a wake-up call to the community to prevent and report child abuse. “We don't want things to escalate to the point where anyone is harmed, much less a sweet innocent child that hasn't had the chance to experience her first Christmas or her first birthday,” Martinez said.
Tech Support Pits From: Lee Re: Friends List Dear Webby Some time ago, when my daughter had problems getting the Humor Letter, you suggested having her put humor@webby.com into her friends list or white list. I'm not too sharp on computer lingo, please explain friends list and white list. Thanks Lee Dear Lee All spam control programs and most email programs have a list of authorized addresses. Some call it address book, some call it White-List, some call it Friends-List. When an address is in that list, then mail from that address is not checked with the regular junk-mail filters. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Pump Bottles in the Bath Save money on shampoo by buying the bulk, pump-style bottles. Make it a rule in your house that for short hair, one pump is used; two for long hair, etc. By AlaskanAurora from Dutch Harbor, AK Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

From Candy My engineer husband is meticulous but mild-mannered. While our new house was being built, he would leave notes for the workmen, politely calling their attention to mistakes or oversights. Two weeks before we were to move in, the floors still were not finished, the bathrooms not tiled, nor were necessary fixtures installed. I was sure that the work would never be completed in time. However, on moving day, we found that the house was ready to receive us. Curious as to how this miracle had been accomplished, I went and checked where my husband always left his notes for the workmen. Posted prominently on the living room wall was my husband's last note: "After January 5, all work will be supervised by my wife and 5 children."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Ken My uncle Joe and his best buddy, Bubba, went hunting a couple of weeks ago. Somehow they got lost. Uncle Joe reassured his buddy, though. "Don't worry. All we have to do is shoot into the air three times, stay where we are, and someone will find us." They shot in the air three times, but no one came. After a while, they tried it again. Still no response. When they decided to try once more, Bubba said, "It better work this time. We're down to our last three arrows."
» Invisible Animals


Today in 
1477 Battle at Nancy, Burgundy vs Switzerland, 7000+ killed
1527 Swiss Anabaptist reformer Felix Manz, 29, was drowned 
  in punishment for preaching adult (re-)baptism. 
  Manz's death made him the first Protestant in history 
  to be martyred at the hands of other Protestants. 
1531 Pope Clemens VII forbids English king Henry VIII 
   to re-marry 
1638 Petition in Recife Brazil leads to closing of 
   their 2 synagogues
1709 Sudden extreme cold kills 1000s of Europeans 
1781 British naval expedition led by Benedict Arnold 
   burns Richmond VA 
1822 Central America proclaims annexation to 
  Mexican Empire 
1903 San Francisco-Hawaii telegraph cable opens 
1911 Portugal expels Jesuits 
1914 James Cox of Ford Motor Co announces wages will jump 
   from $2.40/9-hour day to $5.00/8-hour day 
1916 Austria-Hungary offensive against Montenegro 
1930 Mao Tse-tung writes "A Single Spark Can Start a 
   Prairie Fire" 
1940 Finnish offensive at Suomossalmi against Russia 
1956 Elvis Presley records "Heartbreak Hotel" 
1969 USSR Venera 5 launched for 1st successful 
   planet landing (Venus) 
1970 23,000 Belgian mine workers strike
1972 President Nixon signs a bill for NASA to begin 
   research on manned shuttle 
1975 Salyut 4 with crew of 2 is launched for 30 days 
1998 Ice storm knocks out electricity in Québec & Ontario 
1998 Vandals decapitate Copenhagen's Little Mermaid 
2013  smiled


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Is Skype Safe? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, January 4.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Yes, I know that the voting at the Ezinefinder is down, 
as usual at this time of the year. They use a Mac system,
and that seems to be expected with them.
Don't worry, around January 4 or 5 they always get it
working again.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted. --- Steven Wright The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it. --- Flannery O'Connor Sometimes creativity is a compulsion, not an ambition. --- Ed Norton
Scott knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." "What is it, child?" "Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am." The priest turned, took a good look at him, and said, "Scott, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake."
A drummer got bored with his instrument and decided to take up the accordion instead. Walking into a music shop, he spotted one he liked and asked the shopkeeper, "how much is that accordion by the wall?" The shopkeeper looked at him and said, "You're a drummer, aren't you?" "Yes, how did you know?" he said. "That's the radiator."
One Click Privacy Secure your computer with one click. Keep your activities 100% private with One Click Privacy

Click on the picture for the large version Devvetashka Cave, Bulgaria
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Nicole Dobol, 26, Islamorada, Florida Jailed After Attempting To Set Ex-Boyfriend And Woman On Fire As They Slept Reported by The Weekly Vice Nicole Ingram Dobol, a 26-year-old Islamorada woman was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly stalked her ex-boyfriend to his house, then set fire to his mattress as he and another woman slept. According to the Monroe County Sheriff's Office, Dobol reportedly ran into her ex-boyfriend's roommate at the Hog Heaven Bar and Grill, then asked him where she could find her former lover. The roommate stated that the ex-boyfriend had gone home for the night, but told her not to visit the apartment. Dobol ignored the warning and went to the apartment anyway. Investigators say Dobol forced her way into the apartment, snuck into her ex-boyfriend's room and found him asleep with a woman. That's when Dobol allegedly set fire to the mattress, then taunted the couple as they awoke to the smell of smoke. The couple, who were not injured by the fire, dragged the mattress to the apartment's balcony and extinguished the flames outside. The victim's roommate, who had returned to the apartment during the ordeal, said Dobol admitted to lighting the fire and told him that it "made her crazy" to see her ex-boyfriend with another woman. During Dobol's arrest, it was discovered that she also had an outstanding warrant for her arrest from a previous incident. Dobol was booked into jail and charged with arson and burglary.
Tech Support Pits From: Karen Re: How safe is Skype Dear Webby My daughter wants me to install Skype in my computer at home and in the office, to save on phone bills. How safe is that? Karen Dear Karen Skype is perfectly safe. It is so heavily encrypted, that even if somebody figured a way to intercept it, they could not extract any information. Also, it does not open any security holes like many other programs do. It's not just for talking for free over the net. It includes a chat module for typing back and forth and sending pictures, movies, music, links, etc. If both sides have a camera, any $10 camera will do, you can even video chat for free. I do that with my dad every noon my time, 9PM his time, for about 5 minutes. Voice quality is excellent, much better than over a phone. We have used Skype for tech support for a dozen years now, and have never had a problem with it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Salad Spinner for Wringing Delicate Hand Wash Items Do you often hand wash delicate items such as hosiery or bras? For an easier way to wring out the water, keep a spare salad spinner under your sink! People with painful arthritic hands, or those recovering from surgery, may find it especially difficult to squeeze items dry. The center push-button or battery operated type spinners make the job very easy. Even the inexpensive crank ones work, in about a dozen turns and will hold two or three items. By Mary from Mountain Pine, AR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

Travel Agent Term Translations "Old World Charm" Room with no TV, radio and only 1 light. "Tropical" Rainy. "Majestic Setting" A long way from town, at end of dirt road. "Options Galore" Nothing is included in the price. "Secluded Hideaway" Directions to locate unclear. "Some budget rooms" Sorry, already occupied. "Explore on your own" At your own expense. "Minutes From ... " By Plane "Romantic" No Phone in room. "Knowledgeable trip hosts" They've flown in an airplane before. "Bird Watchers Paradise" Your car's paint will never be the same . "Nominal Fee" Outrageous charge. "Superior Accommodations" One complimentary chocolate, free shower cap. "All the Amenities" Two chocolates, two shower caps. "Just Like Home" No Maid service "Plush" Both top and bottom sheets, bed shakes. "Light and airy" No air conditioning. "Picturesque" Theme park nearby. "24-hour bar" Ice cubes at additional cost (when available). "Wireless Internet" For the first six to log on before they go out on the town.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From David My mom got mad at my dad the other day and went shopping to relieve her irritation. When she returned home she informed him that she had purchased ten new dresses. "Ten!" he hollered, "What could any woman want with ten new dresses??" My mom calmly replied, "Ten new pairs of shoes."
» Invisible Animals
Sew much Comfort

Today in 
0871 Battle at Reading Ethelred beats Danish invasion
1493 Columbus left new world on return from 1st voyage
1519 1st Altenburger sermon (Luther & Karl von Miltitz) 
1863 4 wheeled roller skates patd by James Plimpton of NY
1884 Last sighting of an eastern cougar (Ontario)
1896 Following Mormon abandonment of polygamy, 
  Utah admitted as 45th state 
1912 Smallest earth-moon distance this century, 
  356,375 km center-to-center 
1915 Trans-Caucausus Russian defeat Turkish troops 
1945 US aircraft carrier Ommaney Bay sinks after 
   kamikaze attack
1951 During Korean conflict, North Korean forces
   captured Seoul 
1958 Sputnik 1 reenters atmosphere & burns up 
1959 Luna 1 (Mechta) becomes 1st craft to leave 
  Earth's gravity 
1969 France begins arms embargo against Israel 
1975 Ice thickness measured at 4776 m, Wilkes Land, Antarctica
1975 Montréal Canadiens vs Washington Capitals 10-0
2013  smiled


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Drain cleaner without going to the store 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, January 3.






Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy. --- Nora Ephron The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) I don't mind what Congress does, as long as they don't do it in the streets and frighten the horses. --- Victor Hugo
My 2 1/2-year-old niece, Kelly, went with a neighbor girl to church for First Communion practice. The pastor has the children cup their hands, and when he gives them the "Host," in this case, a piece of bread, he says, "God be with you." Apparently this made quite an impression on my niece. She came home and told her mother to cup her hands and bend down. Kelly took a piece of bread from her sandwich, placed it in her mother's hands, and whispered, in her most angelic voice, "God will get you."
Thanks to Dianne for this confession: The computer in my high school classroom recently started acting up. After watching me struggle with it, one of my students took over. "Your hard drive crashed," he said. I called the computer services office and explained, "My computer is down. The hard drive crashed." "We can't just send people down on your say-so. How do you know that's the problem?" "A student told me," I answered. "We'll send someone over right away."
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Heather Cooksey, 27, Alexandria, La. Cutest caught teacher of the week: Jailed for Having Sex With Student Reported by The Weekly Vice Heather Cooksey, a 27-year-old teacher at Tioga High School was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly had sex with a student. According to the Rapides Parish Sheriff's Office, Cooksey was arrested after it was discovered that she had engaged in a sexual relationship with an underage student who attends the school. Investigators have not released additional information, citing that the investigation is ongoing and expect more to be revealed soon. She was booked into the Rapides Parish Detention Center and charged with two counts of carnal knowledge of juveniles.
Tech Support Pits From: Rosie Re: Drain cleaner without going to the store Dear Webby How do I clean out my sink drain if I don't have any drain cleaner? Mine is running slow and I can't get to the store to get drain cleaner. Rosie Dear Rosie Coffee grounds help to clean out a drain, that is only slow and not stopped up. Always dump the used filters into the sink and rinse them off, before you heave them into the garbage. As long as you don't have a peach pit or anything hard like that, daily use of coffee grounds will keep your drains clean and fast. By the way, I learned from Ophelia, if you rinse off your coffe filters and drape them over a can or glass to dry, you can get over hundred uses out of each filter. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Liquid Paper to Fix Chips in Paint I bought a used white formica bedroom set with chips. The moving man told me to use white Liquid Paper correction fluid to cover it up. This was for a matte finish. It worked great. Many years later, my white refrigerator had a small chip. I fixed it the same way. No one can tell where the chip is. If I had a glossy finish, I would then put a coat of clear nail polish on top. By Judy Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week, and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. He called them into his shop and said, "I know that on your pension you could never hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my expense, and I won't take no for an answer." He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly accepted, and were on their way. About a month later the little lady came in to his shop. "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly. "The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said. "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old guy I had to share the room with?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Dianne for this story: I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?" "Uh", ... I was thinking quickly, "All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy." "Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.
» Comical critters
Sew much Comfort

Today in 
1431 Joan of Arc handed over to the bishop 
1521 Martin Luther excommunicated by Roman Catholic Church
1825 Scottish factory owner Robert Owen buys 30,000 acres
  in Indiana as site for New Harmony utopian community
1833 Britain seizes control of Falkland Islands
1847 California town of Yerba Buena renamed San Francisco
1865 Con Orem & Hugh O'Neill box 193 rounds before 
  darkness ends match
1870 Brooklyn Bridge construction begins; completed 
  May 24, 1883 
1871 Oleomargarine patented by Henry Bradley, Binghamton NY
1872 1st patent list issued by US Patent Office
1888 1st waxed drinking straw patented, by Marvin C Stone
   in Washington DC
1910 British miners strike for 8 hour working day 
1921 Turkey makes peace with Armenia 
1924 British Egyptologist Howard Carter finds sarcophagus
  of Tutankhamun
1925 Mussolini dissolves Italian parliament/becomes dictator 
1938 March of Dimes established to fight polio
1941 Canada & US acquire air bases in Newfoundland 
   (99 year lease)
1941 Italian counter offensive in Albania 
1943 Canadian Army troops arrive in North Africa 
1945 US aircraft carriers attack Okinawa
1957 1st electric watch introduced, Lancaster PA 
1958 Edmund Hillary reaches South Pole overland 
1959 Alaska admitted as 49th US state
1961 US breaks diplomatic relations with Cuba
1962 Pope John XXIII excommunicates Fidel Castro
1969 John Lennon's "2 Virgins" album declared 
  pornographic in New Jersey 
1977 Apple Computer incorporated 
1989 Jim & Tammy Bakker return to TV
1990 Panamá's leader General Manuel Noriega surrenders to US
1991 Los Angeles King Wayne Gretzky scores his 700th goal
1994 35-foot-tall Chief Wahoo, trademark of Indians on top 
  of Stadium since 1962, is taken down, to be moved to 
  Jacob's Field 
2013  smiled


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Can't get rid of old mail in Outlook Express 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, January 2. Unless you are a teacher, it's back to work as usual today. Seems weird to me, since I worked every day through the holidays, even more hours than the rest of the year, because the postcard traffic is naturally the biggest during the Christmas Holidays and over New Years. The next big postcard event will be Guilt Day: Valentines If you forget to send a Valentines Card, you will be made to feel guilty! Feb 12,13, 14 I will again be working around the clock. Until then it's just routine. January 9 I have to go for injections into my eyes, so January 10,11 and possibly 12, there won't be a Humor Letter. So, for now, it's back to the grind. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

As I get older, I've learned to listen to people rather than accuse them of things. --- Po Bronson If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right. --- Mary Kay Ash Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves. --- Sir James M. Barrie
The middle-aged married couple finally moved into the Condo of their dreams, but right next door to a very sexy fashion model. The husband had taken to borrowing this or that from their neighbor and it seemed to the wife that it always took him way too long to return. One time the wife had had enough and actually pounded on the wall between the two apartments. There being no response she telephoned, only to get the answering machine. Finally she went to the model's door and just kept ringing the bell. When the model answered, the wife fumed, "I would like to know why it is my husband takes so long to get something over here." "Well sweetie," the model purred, "all these interruptions sure wouldn't be helping, if he was doing what you suspect him of doing. However, he's out on the balcony exchanging fishing lies with my dad."
A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day. The girl approaches the boy and says, "Hey Tommy, wanna play house?" He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?" The girl replies, "I want you to communicate your feelings." "Communicate my feelings?" said a bewildered Tommy. "I have no idea what that means." The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be the husband."
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Thomasine Harjo, 25, Oklahoma City, OK Tells Police She Couldn't Be Arrested For Drunk Driving Because She Was Required To Appear In DUI Court The Next Morning Reported by The Weekly Vice Thomasine Harjo, a 25-year-old Oklahoma woman was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly drove drunk through a traffic accident scene - then told officers that she couldn't be arrested because she had DUI court the next morning. According to Oklahoma City police, officers were processing an accident scene where a fatality had occurred when Harjo ignored a police barricade and drove her vehicle through it anyway. Investigators say the accident scene had been blocked off with patrol cars - with lights flashing - and had been corded off with crime scene tape. Several officers tried to get Harjo to stop prior to entering the accident scene, however she didn't acknowledge them. When officers finally did get Harjo to stop, they smelled a strong odor of alcohol when she opened her door. When Harjo was asked why she did not stop for the barricade, she stated that she was simply following the car in front of her. No other cars, however, entered the accident scene. While officers were placing Harjo into custody, she stated that she couldn't be arrested because she had to appear in court the next morning. When an officer asked what the court appearance was for, Harjo stated that it was for a previous DUI charge. Harjo was booked into the Oklahoma County Jail and charged with DUI, driving without a valid driver's license and obstruction of justice.
Tech Support Pits From: Lela Re: Can't delete mail from Outlook Express Dear Webby I have tried every thing I can think of doing, but I can not delete unwante or read mail from my OutLook Express 6. Any suggestions? Your insites and vast knowledge is greatly appreciated. Yes, I have done defrags, disc clean ups and virus scans, nothing helps. Thank you in advance. Lela Dear Lela I don't use Outlook Express or Outlook, but I would try dumping the trash first, and also the recycle bin. Then try deleting mails. I asked Dianne, the lady, who emails me the Daily Bonus Links. She suggested this: She has been using OE as a warehouse. Get all of that stuff out of there. If it is important, make new folders on the desktop and save them to appropriate folders. when that is done, everything should work. Dianne Try that! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Liquid Paper to Fix Chips in Paint I bought a used white formica bedroom set with chips. The moving man told me to use white Liquid Paper correction fluid to cover it up. This was for a matte finish. It worked great. Many years later, my white refrigerator had a small chip. I fixed it the same way. No one can tell where the chip is. If I had a glossy finish, I would then put a coat of clear nail polish on top. By Judy Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

>From Dora I was on vacation, playing the slot machines. It was my first time in a casino, and I wasn't sure how the machines operated. "Excuse me." I said to a casino employee. "How does this work?" The worker showed me how to insert a bill, hit the spin button, and operate the release handle. "And where does the money come out?" I asked. He smiled and motioned to a far wall before saying, "Usually at the ATM machine over there."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A young woman wasn't feeling well, and asked one her co-workers to recommend a physician. "I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Five hundred dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that." The woman went to the doctor's office and, trying to save a little money, cheerily announced. "I'm back!" Not fooled for a second, the doctor quickly examined her and said, "Very good, just continue the treatment I prescribed on your last visit."
» Columnades
Sew much Comfort

Today in 
0069 Roman Lower Rhine army proclaims its commander,
 Vitellius, emperor
1235 Emperor Joseph II orders Jews of Galicia Austria 
  to adopt family names 
1570 Tsar Ivan the Terrible march to Novgorod begins
1757 British troops occupy Calcutta India
1776 1st revolutionary flag displayed
1776 Austria ends interrogation torture
1839 1st photo of the Moon (French photographer Louis
  Daguerre) 
1842 1st US wire suspension bridge for general traffic 
   opens in Pennsylvania 
1879 British battleship Thunder explodes in Gulf of
  Ismid, 9 die
1900 E Verlinger begins manufacturing 7" single-sided
  records (Montréal)
1919 Anti-British uprising in Ireland
1919 Lithuania gains independence
1920 10,000 US union & socialist organizers arrested 
  (Palmer Raids)  
1929 US & Canada agree to preserve Niagara Falls
1942 28 nations, at war with Axis, pledge no 
  separate peace 
1944 1st use of helicopters during warfare (British 
   Atlantic patrol) 
1945 Allied air raid on Nuerenburg
1959 USSR launches Mechta (Luna 1) for 1st lunar 
  fly-by, 1st solar orbit 
1968 Christiaan Barnard performs 2nd heart transplant 
1971 A barrier collapses at Ibrox Park football ground
  at end of a soccer match in Glasgow Scotland, killing 66
1972 Mariner 9 begins mapping Mars 
1974 55 MPH speed limit imposed by Richard Nixon
1984 Riot in Tunis kills over 100 
1988 Ashland Oil storage tank spills 3.8 million 
   gallons, Pennsylvania 
1988 Mulroney & Reagan sign Canada-US free trade agreement 
1994 Battles between army & rebellious Indians in 
  South Mexico, kill 57 
2013  smiled


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Can't find newsletters due to wrong computer date 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, January 1. Happy New year, ! I wish you All the Best for the New Year! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Yesterday a Tupolev 204 (Russian-made aircraft equivalent to an Airbus 321 or a shortened 757) overran the runway at Moscow Vnukovo airport and crashed into a nearby highway. View from the car behind the car, that got hit by a flying nose wheel and four seats. After the crash
Q. According to Cosmo magazine, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married? A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment
Thanks to Dianne for this story: Although I had never met my maternal grandfather, I knew that he had been five feet, six inches tall, while my stately grandmother stood five feet, eleven inches. As a teen-ager while leafing through an old photograph album with my Grandmother, I finally realized how unusual they must have looked together. "Grand," I asked, "how could you have dated and fallen in love a man almost half a foot shorter than you?" She turned to me, gave me a sensuous wink and said, "Honey, we fell in love sitting down, and by the time I stood up, it was way too late for him."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Michele McLaughlin, 25, Orlando, Florida Pantless Woman Jailed for Repeatedly Honking Horn, Pulling Fire Alarm Reported by The Weekly Vice Michele McLaughlin, a 25-year-old Florida woman was jailed early Wednesday morning after she allegedly woke up an apartment complex when she ran outside without pants, honked her horn for 20 minutes and pulled a fire alarm. According to police, officers were dispatched to an Orlando apartment complex when neighbors reported that a woman was continually honking her horn and had activated a fire alarm. Officers arrived to find McLaughlin, who wasn't wearing pants and appeared intoxicated. When officers asked Mclaughlin why she was causing a commotion at 4:30 in the morning, she stated that she went out to her car but was unable to find her way back to her friend's apartment. She went on to say that she honked her horn in an attempt to get her friend's attention. Witnesses told police that McLaughlin honked her horn for 20 minutes, then went to the second floor and tried to open every apartment door before pulling the fire alarm. McLaughlin was booked into the Orange County Jail and charged with preventing or obstructing fire-suppression equipment. There was no report whether police checked if her friend had died, or just sent her for a paper bag or sobered up.
Tech Support Pits From: Kitty Re: Not getting my Newsletter Dear Webby I don't know what happened. But I'm not getting your humor letter anymore. This is the last one I got. Always kitty Dear Kitty You are in the list and I sent your newsletter out every night. You may have to white-list mail from humor@webby.com to get it through your or your ISP's spam control. Are you aware that either your your date or your time zone setting is totally wacky? It tries to indicate, that you are in my future. Look at the date stamp of your letter! With the date wrong, your email program will sort everything wrongly. If you sort by Sender, you will probably see your newsletter. Once you got your date and time zone fixed, everything should show up again as usual. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Microwave To Refresh Masking Tape If your masking tape comes off in little pieces, zap the roll of tape in the microwave 10-20 seconds and it will work as it should. By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

Suffering from a bad case of the flu, the outraged patient bellowed, "Three weeks? The doctor can't see me for three weeks? I could well be dead by then!" Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, "If so, would you have your wife call to cancel the appointment?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist are discussing the merits of a mistress... The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems. The computer scientist says, "It's the best thing that's ever happened to me. My wife thinks I'm with my mistress. My mistress thinks I'm home with my wife, and I can spend all night on the computer!"
» Seriously Twisted Trees
Sew much Comfort

Today in 
5777 -BC- Origin of Solar Cycle
4714 -BC- Origin of Julian Period (Year 0) 
0001 Origin of Christian Era 
0069 Roman garrison of Mainz uprising 
0404 Last gladiator competition in Rome
1502 Portuguese navigators discover Rio de Janeiro 
1622 Papal Chancery adopts Jan 1 as beginning of the year
   (was Mar 25) 
1700 Protestant West-Europe (except England) begin using
   Gregorian calendar 
1701 Great Britain & Ireland union is in effect, creating 
  United Kingdom
1772 1st traveler's checks issued (London) 
1788 Quakers in Pennsylvania emancipate their slaves 
1797 Albany replaces New York City as capital of NY 
1808 Congress prohibits importation of slaves 
1818 Official reopening of the White House 
 (the dastardly Canucks had burned it down in the War of 1812)
1833 British government demands Falkland islands
1833 British government demands Falkland islands
1853 1st practical fire engine (horse-drawn) in US
1858 Canada begins using decimal currency system 
1862 1st US income tax (3% of incomes > $600, 
  5% of incomes > $10,000) 
1880 Building of Panamá Canal, begins 
1896 Wilhelm Röntgen announces his discovery of x-rays
1899 Cuba liberated from Spain by US (National Day) 
   (US occupies till 1902) 
1912 Sun Yat-sen forms Chinese Republic
1922 Vancouver BC starts driving on the right side of road 
1934 Alcatraz officially becomes a federal prison
1947 Britain nationalizes its coal industry 
1948 Britain nationalizes its railways
1950 Ho Chi Minh begins offensive against French 
   troops in Indo-China
1951 Massive Chinese/North Korean assault on UN-lines
1957 France returns Saar to becomes the 10th state of 
  German Federal Republic
1958 European Economic Community (Common Market) starts 
   operation 
1959 Castro leads Cuba to victory as Fulgencio Batista 
   flees to Dominican Republic
1965 Palestinian al-Fatah organization forms 
1971 Cigarette advertisements banned on TV 
1976 Venezuela nationalizes oil fields
1979 Jura, 26th canton of Switzerland, established 
1980 Mob storms Russian embassy in Teheran 
1984 Brunei becomes independent of UK 
1992 Europe breaks down internal trade barriers 
1993 Czechoslovakia separates into Czech Republic (Bohemia) 
   & Slovakia 
1995 Austria, Finland & Sweden act to join European Union
1998 All California bars, clubs & card rooms must be 
   smoke-free 
2012  smiled


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What to do when a Windows Update changes all the fonts? 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, December 31. In case you did not get yesterday's picture, it is at Bearly Cab I wish you ll the Best for the New Year! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The best minds are not in government. If any were, business would hire them away. --- Ronald Reagan A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money. --- Senator Everett Dirksen
>From SaxySassySatin New Years Drinking Warning Just Released: Vodka And Ice Will Ruin Your Kidneys. Rum And Ice Will Ruin Your Liver. Whiskey And Ice Will Ruin Your Heart. Gin And Ice Will Ruin Your Brain. Pepsi And Ice Will Ruin Your Sugar Levels..... There You Have It! Ice Is Freaking Lethal! Warn All Your Friends: Lay Off The Ice, Just Drink It Straight!! You Could Save A Life!!! And Don't Forget What Ice Did To The Titanic!!! sex c sass c :)
Seven year old Johnny had finished his winter vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that John was misbehaving. "Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny here for two weeks, day and night, and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Chewanna Henderson, 33, Lincoln Heights, Ohio Jailed After Exposing Man To HIV Virus, Stabbing Him In The Head When He Complained Reported by The Weekly Vice Chewanna Henderson, a 33-year-old Anderson Township woman was jailed Friday after she allegedly had sex with man without telling him she was HIV positive, then stabbed him in the head to abuse him further. According to police, Henderson and the victim reportedly got into an argument after she failed to tell him that she was HIV positive until after they had sex. In retaliation, Henderson grabbed a kitchen knife from the kitchen counter and stabbed him in the back of his head. He was taken to a local hospital, where he was treated for non life-threatening injuries. When officers questioned Henderson, she stated that she didn't tell the victim that she was HIV positive because he had purchased a puppy for her and provided a place for her to stay. When deputies were booking her into jail, she took an officer's keys, slipped off her handcuffs and attempted to escape. She was stopped before reaching the door. Henderson was booked into the Hamilton County Justice Center and charged with escape, theft, and two counts of felonious assault. She is currently being held in lieu of $81,500 bond.
Tech Support Pits From: Wendy Re: Different font after Windows Update Dear Webby We were away for Christmas and I shut down the computer while away to save power etc. Came home, rebooted it, and guess what? All the fonts are changed. Email fonts changed, fonts on desktop changed, and fonts on browser changed as well. Haven't a clue what happened, and don't have a clue how to rectify it. Any suggestions? Love the newsletter, love the jokes, and love the info included in it. Cheers, Happy New Year, Wendy Dear Wendy It has never happened to me, but searching on the net showed that it seems to be a fairly common bug with Windows7 updates. As soon as you reboot after certain updates, it changes everything in Windows to a certain font, that Microsoft figures is good for cute widdle goilies like you. Do a restore to prior to the last Windows Update, and your fonts will be back. Microsoft has no bug fix for that and is still searching for somebody or something to blame. In one post they venture that possibly it has something to do with a certain anti-virus program clashing with their update. Which anti-virus program are you using? Please let me know if this mail gets through to you. Sympatico often blocks me because of all the Christmas cards sent via my servers. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Microwave To Refresh Masking Tape If your masking tape comes off in little pieces, zap the roll of tape in the microwave 10-20 seconds and it will work as it should. By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

Since he runs a pawnshop, I decided to ask a friend of mine to appraise my grandfather's violin. "Old fiddles aren't worth much, I'm afraid," he explained. "What makes it a fiddle and not a violin?" I asked. "If you're buying it from me, it's a violin. If I'm buying it from you, it's a fiddle."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
At the counter, a woman was complaining about the departure time, saying, "Young man, I could stick a feather in my butt and get there faster." The clerk smiled and said, "Yeah, and you'd save extra time by not having to go through Security! Go for it!"
» Street Art Utopia
Sew much Comfort

Today in 
-406 80,000 Vandals attack Mainz at the Rhine
1492 100,000 Jews expelled from Sicily 
1687 1st Huguenots depart France to Cape of Good Hope 
1776 Rhode Island establishes wage & price controls to curb 
  inflation: Limit is 70¢ a day for carpenters, 42¢ for tailors 
1779 English fleet beat Dutch Merchant vessels
1783 Import of African slaves banned by all of the 
  Northern states 
1857 Queen Victoria chooses Ottawa as new capital of Canada 
1859 Dutch colony in Dutch Indies counts 4,800 slaves
1862 Union ironclad ship "Monitor" sinks off 
   Cape Hatteras NC 
1890 Ellis Island (New York NY) opens as a US immigration depot 
1896 25th auto built in US
1910 US tobacco industry produced 9 billion cigarettes in 1910 
1924 Edwin Hubble announces existence of distant galaxies
1930 US tobacco industry produced 123 billion cigarettes in 1930 
1935 Charles Darrow patents Monopoly
1938 Dr R N Harger's "drunkometer", 1st breath test, 
   introduced in Indiana 
1938 Dutch national debt hits ƒ3,986,629,805.70 
1939 Dutch national debt hits ƒ4,218,553,180.99
1940 37 U boats sunk this month (213,000 ton) 
1942 60 U boats sunk this month (330,000 ton) 
1946 French troops leave Lebanon 
1958 Cuban dictator Batista flees 
1974 Gold legal in US
1974 Popular Electronics displays Altair 8800 computer
1977 Ted Bundy escapes from jail in Colorado
1978 Taiwan's final day of diplomatic relations with the US 
1990 United Somali Congress seizes Presidential Palace 
1991 USSR, last day of existence
1992 Target date set for Europe's single market 
1994 1st snowless December in Baltimore MD 
1997 Intel cuts price of Pentium II-233 MHz 
   from $401 to $268 
1997 Microsoft buys Hotmail E-mail service
1997 More Swedes died than were born in 1997, 
   1st time since 1809 
1999 Control of Panamá Canal reverts to Panamá
2012  smiled


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Wireless Camera Chip 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, December 30. Thank you Cathi! Quite a few asked me what all this "Fiscal Cliff" BS is all about. Well, basically it is tax increases and funding cuts to pay for election campaign goodies and to pay for bills, that were due during the election campaign, but would have been inconvenient to mention at the time. So those inconvenient measures were postponed and set to happen like automatic time bombs during the next president's term. The next president could then have said, it's all Obama's fault, just like Obama claims it is all Bush's fault. Well, Obama got re-elected, and is stuck with those automatic time bombs, that will go off on January 1st, unless he figures out some really good excuse to make your great-grand-kids pay for all that stuff. The House and he Senate are playing hard to get, and uncooperative, just like they were in Bush's second term. They know that the pendulum is swinging towards the right, and they are more concerned about securing themselves a warm place to crap, than anything Obama is panicking about. All those automatically scheduled meaures don't affect them anyway, they just affect people, who are not in the Senate or the House. Those automatic time bombs were put in place a year ago. They are like a promise made to the electrical company, that if you don't pay your overdue bill by January 1, they are welcome to disconnect your electricity. It is going to hurt, but that is what the majority voted for. There is absolutely nothing you or I can do about it, except try to remember it during the next election. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. --- Bill Watterson Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. --- Jackie Mason
>From Patti One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, mudpack on her face, and wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her. "I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything to embarrass me, I would embarrass him back. He was caught cutting school. So now I've come to spend the day with him!"
Company Policy Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result - all the monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon, when another monkey tries to climb the stairs, the other monkeys will try to prevent it and beat him up. Now, turn off the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted. Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm. Again, replace a third original monkey with a new one. The new one makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well. Two of the four monkeys that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing the fourth and fifth original monkeys, all the monkeys that have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs. Why not? Because as far as they know that's the way it's always been around here. And that's how company policy begins
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Amanda Rowles, 27, El Paso County, CO. Teacher Jailed for Repeatedly Having Sex With Two Male Students Reported by The Weekly Vice Amanda Rowles, a 27-year-old drama and choir teacher at Calhan High School has been jailed after she allegedly had sex with two male students. According to the El Paso County Sheriff's Office, an investigation was launched last September after Calhan School administrators advised the Sheriff's Office of a possible relationship between Rowles and a student. The investigation revealed that Rowles allegedly engaged in sexual relationships with two 17-year-old students during the 2011-2012 school year. Investigators say one student stated that he had sex with Rowles "on at least 40 occasions" over a six month period. The sexual encounters reportedly took place while Rowles and the student were hiking together or when they were at her mother's house. A second student told investigators that he pursued a relationship with Rowles after she kissed him in the classroom after school. A sexual relationship developed between Rowles and the student even after she had pushed him away at one point and acknowledged that the relationship was wrong. The student told investigators that he was "hurt" when Rowles abruptly ended their relationship and moved away. At the end of the 2011-2012 school year, Rowles resigned her position at the school and moved to the Denver area where she was arrested by the Aurora County Sheriff's Office. She was booked into the Aurora County Jail and charged with two counts each of sexual assault on a child by one in a position of trust and sexual assault/pattern of abuse. Her bond has been set at $50,000.
Tech Support Pits From: Margene Re: Wireless Camera Dear Webby You spent a lot of time answering about camera’s. There is one more option. For any camera with a memory card, you can buy an eye-fi card. They have 3 cards with varying amounts of storage. I have a picnic once a year. I take the pictures in the back yard and by the time I get in the house they are loaded on my computer. This card can go from camera to camera. Check it out at http://www.eye.fi/products, A great product. Margene Dear Margene Thank you for that info and link! Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Microwave To Refresh Masking Tape If your masking tape comes off in little pieces, zap the roll of tape in the microwave 10-20 seconds and it will work as it should. By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

A father thought it was about time to lecture his son, who was somewhat scatter-brained and frivolous. "Jim," he said, "You're getting to be a man now and you ought to take life more seriously. Just think . . . if I died all of a sudden, where would you be?" "I'd be right here, dad," said Jim. "The question is, where would YOU be?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
On a U.S. cruiser the officer of the deck asked the starboard lookout, "What would you do if a sailor was washed overboard?" "I'd yell 'Man overboard,'" answered the lookout snappily. "Good," said the officer. "Now what would you do if an officer fell overboard?" The lookout asked, "Which one, sir?"
» Department Store Museum
Sew much Comfort

Today in 
0987 French King Hugo Capet crowns his son Robert the 
   compassionate king
1317 Pontifical decree "Sancta Romania" against spiritualists
  (Gypsy fortune tellers) 
1703 Tokyo hit by Earthquake; about 37,000 die
1835 After gold discovery in Georgia, Cherokees are forced 
to move across Mississippi River 
1853 Gadsden Purchase - 45,000 square miles (120,000 km) 
   by Gila River from México for $10 million; 
   Area is now southern Arizona & New Mexico 
1861 US, banks stops payments in gold 
1906 Iran becomes a constitutional monarchy 
1922 Soviet Union organized
1935 Italian bombers destroy Swedish Red Cross unit in Ethiopia
1936 United Auto Workers stage 1st sit-down strike
1938 Electronic television system patented by V K Zworykin
1949 India recognizes People's Republic of China
1950 Vietnam, Laos & Cambodia become Independent states 
  in France Union
1958 French franc devalued
1972 President Nixon halts bombing of North Vietnam 
   & announces peace talks 
1988 Canadian Senate OK's free trade pact; with US
1993 Vatican recognizes Israel 
2012  smiled


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Wireless cameras 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, December 29. Thank you Cathi! There seems to have been more interest in that One Click Privacy program, than all recipe and weight=loss programs combined. That is actually quite understandable. If General Petraeus had used that program, he would still have a job! Actually, even being able to prevent spouses and kids from jumping to wrong confusions, with just one click, is well worth it. And of course securing a work machine can be extremely important. Who hasn't ordered car parts or glasses or made a hair cut appointment during business hours? That is the ammo needed by somebody, who wants your job. Better to click once and be sure everything is clean and can not be used against you. Have FUN! DearWebby
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The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go to erase it. --- Glaser and Way
A study conducted by the American Psychiatric Association (ASA) today showed that over 40% of the practicing psychiatrists in the U.S. were themselves receiving psychiatric treatment of some kind. A spokeswoman for the ASA said the public should not be concerned, as the remainder were undergoing intensive drug-therapy.
The Sunday school lesson for the day was about Noah's Ark, so the preschool teacher in our Kentucky church decided to get her small pupils involved by playing a game in which they identified animals. "I'm going to describe something to you. Let's see if you can guess what it is. First: I'm furry with a bushy tail and I like to climb trees." The children looked at her blankly. "I also like to eat nuts, especially acorns." No response. This wasn't going well at all! "I'm usually brown or grey, but sometimes I can be black or red." Desperate, the teacher turned to a perky four-year-old who was usually good about coming up with the answers. "Michelle, what do you think?" Michelle looked hesitantly at her classmates and replied, "Well, I know the answer has to be Jesus -- but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me!"
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Click on the picture for the large version Les Dents du Midi, seen from Champoussin, Switzerland.jpg
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Nouel Alba, 37, Hartford, Conn. Jailed for Sandy Hook Shooting Scam, Pretending To Be Slain Victim's Aunt To Solicit Donations Nouel Alba, a 37-year-old New York woman has been jailed after she allegedly solicited donations by passing herself off as a relative of one of the Sandy Hook massacre shooting victims. According to the U.S. attorney's office, Alba used her Facebook profile, PayPal accounts, and a series of phone calls to seek "funeral" donations just hours after the the Sandy Hook school shootings took place. Alba, according to prosecutors, pretended to be the aunt of 6-year-old Noah Pozner, one of the children slain in the tragic massacre. Investigators say Alba set up a "funeral fund" claiming that she was forced to enter the Sandy Hook crime scene to identify her nephew. She is also accused of lying to FBI agents who were tasked with identifying the many charity scams related to the shooting. "We've set up a funeral fund for my brother and families," Alba wrote on her profile before adding her PayPal account information and donation instructions. In text messages with a donor, Alba allegedly stated that she met and hugged President Obama during his visit to Newtown and claimed that she was afraid to view her nephew in his casket. Alba told agents that she wasn't aware that her PayPal account was being used to solicit donations and promised to return the money immediately after it was received. Court records indicate, however, that she did not return any donations until several days later when her activities were given additional scrutiny by federal investigators. Alba told investigators that someone had stolen her identity and hacked into her Facebook and PayPal accounts to perpetrate the scam. Federal authorities, however, say Alba's transactions and related computer activity were tracked to her IP address. Alba was arraigned Thursday on a charge of lying to FBI agents. She was released after posting $50,000 bond. Another con artist that got caught is professional asshole Jonathan Lee Riches That link is to the story at The Smoking Gun.
Tech Support Pits From: Krusty Re: Wireless Camera Dear Webby HOW CAN I SEND PHOTOS TO MY COMPUTER WIRELESSLY. I NOW NEED A CAMERA THAT WILL DO THAT . CAN YOU RECOMMEND ONE. THANKS AS ALWAYS FOR YOU HELP BILL IS KRUSTY Dear Krusty Wireless, WiFi or IP cameras have been around long enough, that you can get used ones cheap on eBay. Quite often they have some external damage, for example from being placed on a car roof and forgotten. They survive the fall at the next fast curve quite nicely, but hitting the pavement at speed scratches up the case and makes it uncomfortable to hold. You can often find $300 - $400 cameras with "road-rash" for under $50. The Kodak Easy-Share has been around for about a dozen years, and is quite common. Another popular camera is the Nikon Coolpix. My own choice would be a Canon Powershot SD430 and up. I think all Canons above the SD430 have wireless, except some off the very high end SLR professional cameras. Professionals prefer to carry a bunch of 8 or 16 GB SD chips in old-fashioned film canisters stuck into a traditional carry strap like ammo in a gun belt. Canisters with a green Fuji cap are for blanks, and the ones with a black Kodak cap are for the filled ones. However, the SD430 and cameras in that range are nothing to sneeze at! Ten years ago professional photographers would have killed to lay their hands on an SD430, even though they sneer at it now. You can also check PriceGrabber, and see what you can find in brand new cameras. Quite often last year's or the previous year's models go on sale dirt cheap, because they are gathering dust. That does not mean they are bad or suffered from sitting on the shelf. Quite often the difference between a two year old camera and this year's model is just cosmetic or quite negligible. If I misunderstood you and you mean automatic, motion detector activated cameras, that email you the pictures if there is any motion, then go to X-10.com. Be prepared to have your socks blown off by the incredibly huge choice of wireless cameras. They have night vision cameras, cameras with invisible IR lights, pan, tilt and zoom by remote control, High Resolution and also low resolution to make picture transfers fast. All that James Bond stuff is surprisingly cheap. You can get a day / night wireless camera with reasonably good resolution for under $100. One of the Best $100 day/night cameras with more than 10 InfraRed lights and pan and tilt, that will email motion detector activated pictures to your smart-phone or computer, is the AirSight Night & Day. You can even control the pan and tilt from a phone or computer. Real James Bond stuff! By the way, night cameras are typically black and white, not color. They use Infra-Red to reach much further into the dark, but when you need night vision, picture quality is usually not an issue. They are not intended for contest quality sunset shots, ut for identifying trespassers. Typically cameras, that take single shots and email them, produce twenty times better quality than continuous streaming cameras, that are limited by connectivity bandwidth and have to really compress the pictures. Don't go there if you are in a hurry! Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pack Up Christmas For New Years New Year's Christmas decorations usually make me a little sad. So this year I have decided to make a new tradition. Throughout the week between Christmas and New Year's, we are taking down some of the decorations we have throughout our home, and ceremoniously storing them away. On New Year's Eve we will slowly take down our tree, counting down as we go! This would be great for children to participate in. We obviously don't go out and party on New Year's Eve. We usually stay at home with some food trays, and watch the festivities on TV. This way, we are "prepared" for the New Year to come! By AHA! from Sterling, PA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
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The World’s Shortest Excel Book This condensed e-Book has all you need to become a relaxed and confident Excel expert, instead of a scared novice. Written in easy to understand language and without all the confusing and intimidating fillers. Excellent deal even if you use spreadsheets only occasionally. Get The World’s Shortest Excel Book now!

Miss Figpot looked over her third grade class and happened to notice Billy and Little Johnny giggling and talking during her lesson. "Well, since you two are obviously listening so well, let's see if you can answer this one!" The teacher said with a smirk on her face. "What is the proper name to use when referring to a cow that has just given birth?" There was a moment of silence, then Little Johnny started giggling. "You think it's funny Johnny? You know the answer?" growled Miss Figpot. "Umm...yeah!" Johnny replied. "Well, let's hear it." "You would call her de-calfenated!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer's soul the preacher asked the man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, my good man? Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work, the farmer replied, "Naw, these are soybeans." "You don't understand," said the preacher. "Are you a Christian?" With the same amount of interest as his previous answer the farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones. You must be looking for Jim Christian. He lives a mile south of here." The young determined preacher tried again asking the farmer, "Are you lost?" "Naw! I've lived here all my life," answered the farmer. "Are you prepared for the resurrection?" the frustrated preacher asked. This caught the farmer's attention and he asked, "When is it gonna be?" Thinking he had accomplished something the young preacher replied, "It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day." Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his brow, the farmer remarked, "Well, don't mention it to my wife. She don't get out much and she'll wanna go all three days."
» Petal Perfect
Sew much Comfort

Today in 
1539 St Jacobs Church burns after being hit by lightning
1813 British burn Buffalo New York during the War of 1812 
1837 Steam-powered threshing machine patented, Winthrop ME
1848 Gas lights 1st installed at White House
1852 Emma Snodgrass arrested in Boston for wearing pants
1862 Bowling ball invented
1885 Gottlieb Daimler patents 1st motor bike (Germany) 
1891 Edison patents "transmission of signals electrically"
1920 Yugoslav government bans communist party
1930 Fred P Newton completes longest swim ever (1826 miles), 
  when he swam in the Mississippi River from Ford Dam MN, 
  to New Orleans LA 
1931 Identification of heavy water publicly announced, HC Urey 
1937 Ireland adopts constitution (Irish Free State becomes Eire) 
1940 Germany begins dropping incendiary bombs on London (WWII) 
1947 Ship carrying Jewish immigrants driven away from Palestine
1948 Canada recognizes Israel 
1949 Hungary nationalized its industries
1952 1st transistorized hearing aid offered for sale
1968 Israeli commandos destroy 13 Lebanese airplanes 
1978 Shah of Iran, asks Shapour Bahktiar to form a 
   civilian government 
1983 US announces withdrawal from UNESCO
1992 Governor Cuomo grants Jean Harris ("Scarsdale Diet" 
  Murderess) clemency. She died December 23, 2012. 
1997 Hong Kong begins slaughtering all its chickens to 
   prevent bird flu 
1997 Russia signs agreement to build a $3B nuclear power 
   plant in China
 2012  smiled


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Caution when changing Yahoo password! 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, December 28. Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops! The flag counter near the bottom of the side menu will be deleted in a few days, when the paid service runs out. It was fun to watch where new subscribers came from, but times are tough, and I can't justify $30 per year for a progran, that is not generating new subscribers or has existing subscribers make any favorable comments about it, If you want it for your sites some day, copy the URL in the next few days, Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

There are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink. --- Booth Tarkington A good relationship is like fireworks: loud, explosive, and liable to maim you if you hold on too long. --- Jeph Jacques Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too. --- Richard M. Nixon
How often have we heard that television watching can be detrimental? A pastor carried that message one Sunday morning in an impassioned sermon on the evils of TV. "It steals away precious time that could be better spent on other things," he said. He advised the congregation to do what he and his family had done. "We put our TV away in the closet." "That's right," his wife muttered to the woman next to her, "but it sure gets awfully crowded in there!"
With more people traveling, the airlines seem to have more problems keeping passengers happy. At the end of one flight, however, one smiling, very satisfied fellow pauses to congratulate the flight attendant. "I want to compliment you and the crew and especially the captain for getting here right on time," he says. "It's not often anymore that an airline gets to where it's going exactly when they claim it will. I'm going to call your home office and let them know how pleased I am." "Why, thank you, sir," the flight attendant answers, "but I think you should know -- this is yesterday's flight."
GuiltFREE! 50 Simple Recipes You Can Use To Whip-up All-natural, Gluten-free, Diabetic-safe, Mouthwatering Desserts. Includes Gingerbread and the Famous Fat Burning Brownies! Enjoy a GuiltFREE! season and ease off any excess weight! Make this one Christmas, where you LOOSE weight for a change, and enjoy the goodies without guilt!

Click on the picture for the large version UFO? Or a falling star? Or a meteorite?
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Tracy Browning, 38, Louisville, Kentucky Jailed After Repeatedly Trying To Purchase iPads With Food Stamp Card, Fleeing Scene With Merchandise Tracy Browning, a 38-year-old Louisville woman, was jailed after she allegedly tried to purchase several iPads with a food stamp card, then fled to another location where she tried to make the same transaction. According to Louisville police, Browning went to the Valley Station Walmart and tried to purchase two iPads with an Electronic Benefit Transfer card. When the transaction was denied, she assaulted a store clerk, pushed another employee to the ground and fled from the store with the merchandise. Investigators say Browning went to another Walmart in the area a short time later and again attempted to buy several iPads with an EBT card. At that store they were ready for her and she was apprehended at the scene while attempting to flee with the merchandise. Browning, according to police, has been banned from all Wal-Mart locations due to prior incidents with the store. She was booked into the Louisville Metro Jail and charged with robbery, shoplifting and trespassing.
Tech Support Pits From: Walter, the Stonecarver Re: Yahoo passwords Dear Webby A friend, who is on Yahoo, found out the hard way, that Yahoo password verification can easily trash an account, along with all the mails in it. Please print this: Yahoo has changed the process that happens when you change your password. Once you change it, the first time you log on with the new password, they require not just the new password, but that you verify your identity with your secret question. When you first set up the account you create that question, or in some cases they had a popup a few years ago that asked you for one. If you forgot the answer to that question, then you are in BIG trouble. If you've set up a backup with a cell phone number that can receive sms and with an alternate non-yahoo email, you can elect to get a message there with a login code instead of using your secret word. If you've set up two secret words you'll probably only need one of those to get in, so your chances are better. So go in today, make sure you know your secret word and make sure you have a cell phone and alternate e-mail registered, or else the next time you change your password you could end up getting permanently locked out, and losing all your stored e-mails and contacts. There are thousands of people out there, who have gotten completely locked out of their accounts because of this change in the security verification system. It just took four days to get my friend back into her account after she changed her password, a real nightmare). Walter Dear Walter Thank you for your warning and advice ! Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Keep an Inventory List of Your Freezer Contents Sometimes when I have leftovers and freeze them to have as a meal for another day, they get lost in my freezer, buried by a loaf of bread or a bag of frozen chicken. One great tip I've found very useful is to make a list of what I put in my freezer and place it on the front of my refrigerator with a magnet. The list is a very helpful reminder of what I have in there and makes it easy to pull out a frozen container of stew for a fast dinner that I may have otherwise forgotten was in there! Source: Organic Gardening Magazine By Patricia from Maple Falls, WA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. Learn How To Cook Low Fat & Low Carb Chinese Food From a Master Chef with 40 Years Of Cooking Experience! With THIS book and it's easy to follow recipes, cook over 500 different healthy meals quickly and economically. Get the 500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. now.

Hillary was in an accident and required immediate cosmetic surgery. So they toook off her make-up. And then they took off another layer of make-up. And another one. And another one. Working frantically for three days and nights they finally reached the skin. The next morning there was a press release: Jimmy Hoffa has been found !
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Seven year old Linda asked her mother how old she was. Her mother told her that women often keep their age a secret and changed the subject. Later that day Linda's friend Mary came over for a visit, and she told her about not getting an answer from her mother. Mary suggested to just look it up on her mother's drivers license in her purse on the table. While her mother was busy in the laundry room, they snuck a peek. Later, when mother returned, Linda bragged: "Mom, I know how tall you are! You are 5' 6"." Mother smiled and thought: "Used to be!" Then Linda said:" And I know how much you weigh! 125 punds!" Again mother smiled and thought: "Used to be!" But then Linda announced: "And you were born on February 27, 1960!" Now mother started looking concerned and wondering where Linda got all that information from. Then Linda dropped the bomb: "And I know why Daddy divorced you and left! You got an 'F' in sex!"
» Pre 50's tunes


Today in 
1065 Westminister Abbey opens in London
1732 1st known ad for "Poor Richard's Almanack" (Pennsylvania 
   Gazette) 
1828 6.8 earthquake strikes Echigo Japan, 30,000 killed 
1836 Spain recognizes independence of México 
1850 Rangoon Burma destroyed by fire 
1895 World's 1st movie theater opens in Paris 
1902 Trans-Pacific cable links Hawaii to US 
1903 Electric lamp sets fire to Iroquois theater in Chicago; 602 die 
1904 1st daily wireless weather forecasts published (London) 
1908 Messina, Italy struck by an earthquake (nearly 80,000 died) 
1931 Lin-Sen succeeds Chiang Kai-shek as President of 
   Nanjing-China 
1943 All inhabitants of Kalmukkie deported, about 70,000 killed 
1948 The IDF crosses the Egyptian border
1950 Chinese troops cross 38th Parallel, into South Korea 
1976 Winnie Mandela banished in South Africa
1984 Creosote bush determined to be 11,700 years old 
1997 Sting beats Hollywood Hogan for WCW Championship 
 2012  smiled


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Erasing your tracks 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, December 27 On Wednesday I drive to Okotoks to pick up my bread. Today the clouds lifted and there was just the low purple winter haze, and as I was driving eastwards, a near full moon slowly climbed out of and above the purple haze. Unfortunately I had no camera with me. It was quite pretty. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Be sincere; be brief; be seated. --- Franklin D. Roosevelt Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out. --- James Bryant Conant "He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help." --- Abraham Lincoln
Doug and Bill were at the racetrack. Doug says, "You know, if you win $600 on a race, the track tells the government." Bill says, "Well it could be worse." Doug replies, "What could be worse than telling the government you won $600." Bill sighs, "Telling your wife."
A teenaged boy with spiked hair, nose ring, and baggy clothes says to his friend,"I don't really like to dress like this, but it keeps my parents from dragging me everywhere with them."
GuiltFREE! 50 Simple Recipes You Can Use To Whip-up All-natural, Gluten-free, Diabetic-safe, Mouthwatering Desserts. Includes Gingerbread and the Famous Fat Burning Brownies! Enjoy a GuiltFREE! season and ease off any excess weight! Make this one Christmas, where you LOOSE weight for a change, and enjoy the goodies without guilt!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Lynn Sarnowski, 47, of Elizaville, N.Y Woman trying to addle cop drives into home RED HOOK, N.Y. (UPI) -- A New York state woman whose car crashed through the front door of a house, nearly hitting a woman watching TV, was trying to distract police, police said. Lynn Sarnowski, 47, of Elizaville, N.Y., was charged with misdemeanor drunken driving and reckless endangerment after she drove past a Red Hook, N.Y., police officer on a winding country road at nearly 100 mph, lost control and smashed through the door of the house, narrowly missing homeowner June Lawson, Red Hook town police said. Sarnowski started driving at high speed to distract the town officer who had pulled over a friend of hers for possible drunken driving, police said. Red Hook is in the Hudson Valley about 100 miles north of New York City. Sarnowski, who had to be extricated from her car, was taken to a Poughkeepsie, N.Y., hospital, where she was charged and issued a misdemeanor drunken-driving ticket to appear in Red Hook Town Court, police said. She was later arrested and charged with two counts of reckless endangerment, the Poughkeepsie Journal reported. At the Red Hook home, Jason Lawson, who was on the second floor when the accident occurred, was injured when he fell down the stairs, not realizing they had been taken out by the car running into the house, the Kingston Daily Freeman reported. Both Lawsons declined medical attention. The operator of the vehicle originally stopped by police, Gary A. Dodge, 57, of Elizaville, was charged with two counts of felony drunken driving. He was arraigned in town court and released on his own recognizance. Lynn Sarnowski's day job is truck driver.
Tech Support Pits From: Dave Re: Cleaning my tracks Dear Webby I've used windows to automatically keep user IDs, search engine searches, passwords, etc...and now have quite a list. How do I erase these? Thanks in advance for your help. Your newsletter is the first thing we read each morning. Keep up the good work! Dave Dear Dave Try One Click Privacy With that you can secure your computer with one click. You can keep your activities 100% private with One Click Privacy Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thank Yous That Last Take pictures of you child opening a gift for Christmas or their birthday. Print the picture out and have the child write a thank you on the back of it and send it as a Thank You to the person giving the gift. You can also sent picture in attachment in an email with thank you from child. If child is too young, you can write what they say. The expression as they open the gift is often priceless. By Southernbelleklb from Jefferson, LA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. Learn How To Cook Low Fat & Low Carb Chinese Food From a Master Chef with 40 Years Of Cooking Experience! With THIS book and it's easy to follow recipes, cook over 500 different healthy meals quickly and economically. Get the 500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. now.

The math teacher saw that little wasn't paying attention in class. She called on and said, "! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The Polish were upset because of their bad reputation. A group of them got together and approached a conference of Americans, Germans, and Japanese and asked for help on this matter. An American replied, "You must do something so the world will respect you. The Japanese are known for their technology and the Germans are known for their resourcefulness. We Americans have had respect since we helped win the World War against the other two. See, you need to do something world-famous." A German added, "Yes, he's right. Why don't you find a place in this world in need of a bridge that no one has dared build, build it, come back to us, and we will help publicize it." With that, the Polish set off to build their bridge. They designed it and worked six months and finally completed it. They then went back to report it to the group. The bridge was a beautiful bridge but it had one flaw: it was erected in the middle of the Sahara Desert. An American said, "No, no. See, that is why you have your reputation. There is no need for a bridge in the middle of the desert. Now go and dismantle it, and find a more strategic spot to erect it." The Polish returned to the conference in two weeks. One of the Japanese said, "Two weeks! It only took you two weeks to dismantle that bridge and build a new one??? That is amazing!!" To which a Polish man replied, "Well, not exactly. When we returned to the bridge we couldn't dismantle it because there were all these Italians fishing off it."
» Pre 50's tunes


Today in 
1437 Albrecht II von Habsburg becomes king of Bohemia 
1503 Battle at Garigliano - Spanish army beats France 
1825 1st public railroad using steam locomotive in England 
1845 Ether 1st used in childbirth in US, Jefferson GA
1897 Stanley Cup: Montréal Victorias beat Ottawa Capitals, 15-2 
1927 Stalin's faction wins All-Union Congress in USSR, 
   Trotsky expelled 
1934 1st youth hostel in US opens (Northfield MA) 
1934 Shah of Persia declares Persia now Iran
1937 Mae West performs Adam & Eve skit that gets her 
   banned from NBC radio 
1939 1st American skimobiles (North Conway NH) 
1939 8.0 Earthquake in Erzincam Turkey, about 50,000 die 
1941 Japan bombs Manila even though it was declared 
   an "open city"  (Like Dresden later on)
1943 France transfers most of her powers in Lebanon to 
   Lebanese government 
1945 International Monetary Fund established
1979 Soviet troops invade Afghánistán, 
   President Hafizullah Amin overthrown 
1983 Propane gas fire devastated 16 square blocks 
   of Buffalo NY
1985 Terrorists kill 20 & wound 110 attacking El Al at 
   Rome & Vienna airports; President Reagan blamed 
   Libyan leader Colonel Muammar Qaddafi who had 
   no clue about it.
1988 Bulgaria stops jamming Radio Free Europe 
after more than 3 decades
 2012  smiled


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How to get rid of Caps Lock for good? 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, December 26 Thank yiou, Rhonda! Those Chinese spiral lights seem to be depending on Gullible Warming. Alberta has apparently opted out of that hoax, so all across Alberta the spiral lights distributed by the "Porch-Liter" activists, are showing a pathetic pink glow like a baby night-light. Since that is a rather embarrassing way to greet any visitors stumbling up the porch steps.in the dark, I will replace my motion activated lights tomorrow with regular 40 Watt incandescent lightbulbs, at least until the weather warms up. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all. --- Samuel Butler I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. --- Eddie Izzard
A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court." He smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not run a red light ever again' five hundred times."
Three churches - Baptist, Methodist, and Presbyterian - worked together to sponsor a community-wide revival. After the revival had concluded, the three pastors were discussing the results with one another. The Methodist minister said, "The revival worked out great for us! We gained 4 new families." The Baptist preacher said, "We did better than that! We gained 6 new families." The Presbyterian pastor said, "Well, we did even better than that! We got rid of our 10 biggest trouble makers!"
GuiltFREE! 50 Simple Recipes You Can Use To Whip-up All-natural, Gluten-free, Diabetic-safe, Mouthwatering Desserts. Includes Gingerbread and the Famous Fat Burning Brownies! Enjoy a GuiltFREE! season and ease off any excess weight! Make this one Christmas, where you LOOSE weight for a change, and enjoy the goodies without guilt!

Thaks to mary Ann for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Below is what we seen from our house yesterday, the SUN actually came out and no snow coming down. Mary Ann - between Tonasket & Riverside, WA (south of the border from Osoyoos BC)
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Gregg Greaves, 23, Chicago, Illinois Jailed for Defecating Into His Hands, Throwing Feces At Police Reported by The Weekly Vice Gregg Greaves, a 23-year-old North Side bonehead was jailed Sunday after he allegedly attacked a man with a broken beer bottle, then attacked police officers with his feces. According to Chicago police, Greaves was at the Red Ivy Bar in Wrigleyville when he jumped out from behind a bathroom stall and attacked a man with a broken beer bottle. The victim suffered deep cuts to his neck, chin and hands. The victim and a witness who was also in the restroom at the time, restrained Greaves until police arrived on the scene. Arriving officers took Greaves into custody and transporting him to a booking station. While officers were attempting to process Greaves into a holding cell, he allegedly yelled obscenities at the officers and refused to wear pants. At one point Greaves defecated into his own hands and threw his feces at the officers. Greaves was booked into jail and charged with felony aggravated battery causing great bodily harm. He is scheduled to appear in court on December 17th. The 25-year-old victim was taken to the Advocate Illinois Masonic Medical Center, where he underwent surgery and was later released.
Tech Support Pits From: Sylvie Re: Caps Lock Dear Webby How can I permanently, once and for all, disable the CAPS LOCK key ? I am transcribing and just glance at the keyboard every second or third paragraph, and it's very annoying to find that I have to retype them. Thanks Sylvie Dear Sylvie I take a spoon or screwdriver and pry off the CAPS LOCK key and then glue it on somebody's fax machine or the coin operated copier at Walmart or Staples. It's no more useful there, except for causing a few laughs when somebody new asks about it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Thank Yous That Last Take pictures of you child opening a gift for Christmas or their birthday. Print the picture out and have the child write a thank you on the back of it and send it as a Thank You to the person giving the gift. You can also sent picture in attachment in an email with thank you from child. If child is too young, you can write what they say. The expression as they open the gift is often priceless. By Southernbelleklb from Jefferson, LA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. Learn How To Cook Low Fat & Low Carb Chinese Food From a Master Chef with 40 Years Of Cooking Experience! With THIS book and it's easy to follow recipes, cook over 500 different healthy meals quickly and economically. Get the 500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. now.

Thanks to Dianne for this story: At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret." "I would dispute that," answered a woman guest. "I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one." "You'll let it out some day," the man insisted. "I hardly think so!" responded the lady. "When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?" The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old." "That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?" The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."
» Foal Fotos


Today in 
1492 1st Spanish settlement in New World founded, by Columbus 
1620 Pilgrims arrived at Plymouth MA
1773 Expulsion of tea ships from Philadelphia 
1825 Erie Canal opens
1854 Wood-pulp paper 1st exhibited, Buffalo
1862 1st US navy hospital ship enters service 
1878 1st US store to install electric lights, Philadelphia 
1917 Federal government took over operation of American RR 
   for duration of WWI 
1932 Earthquake kills 70,000 in Kansu China
1933 US forswears armed intervention in the Western Hemisphere 
1941 Winston Churchill becomes 1st British PM to address a joint 
   meeting of Congress
1943 British sink German battle cruiser Scharnhorst
1944 Battle of Bastogne-US General Patton's 4th Panzers repulse 
   the Germans
1968 Arab terrorists in Athens fire on El Al plane, kill 1 
1975 1st supersonic transport service (USSR-Tupolev-144) 
1982 TIME's Man of the Year is a computer 
1986 Hijackers take over an Iraqi Airways Boeing 737 
   with 91 people on board during a flight from Baghdad 
   to Amman - it lands in Arar, Saudi Arabia where it 
  explodes, killing 62 people.
1993 Comedian Rodney Dangerfield (72) weds Joan Child (41) 
 2012  smiled


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How to avoid the Red X when forwarding 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, December 25 Merry Christmas ! Can't see the moon through the clouds, which seem to start at about head level, but everything is light enough, that it's probably getting close to full moon. Living in the clouds does show some pretty sights. Over towards town the fog is the usual orange from the street lights, and that is pretty too. Temperature is around -30, but the wind has slowed down, so a short walk was quite OK. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable. --- Mark Twain Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. --- Bertrand Russell
Thanks to Dianne for the update she got from her IT department: MEMO: IT SYSTEM UPGRADE Dear All, As part of our on going cost-cutting exercise, we are proposing a major change to our Desktop policy and a further move towards a recycling and paperless office. The goal is to remove all laptop computers by March 2013 and all desktop computers by April 2013. Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch. Technical Justification: 1. No boot-up problems 2. No technical glitches keeping work from being done. 3. No more wasted time reading and writing emails. 4. No more worries about power cuts. 5. Budget savings on upgrades unparalleled 6. No danger of viruses and worms infecting our data. Frequently Asked Questions from the Etch-A-Sketch Help Desk: Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen. A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: What's the shortcut for Undo? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I create a New Document window? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same colour? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch? A: Pick it up and shake it. Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document? A: Don't shake it. Regards, IT Department.
A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish." "Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II luxury liner appeared in her hands. Then it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish... So the fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - he was 92 years old.
GuiltFREE! 50 Simple Recipes You Can Use To Whip-up All-natural, Gluten-free, Diabetic-safe, Mouthwatering Desserts. Includes Gingerbread and the Famous Fat Burning Brownies! Enjoy a GuiltFREE! season and ease off any excess weight! Make this one Christmas, where you LOOSE weight for a change, and enjoy the goodies without guilt!

Click on the picture for the large version Merry Christmas from DearWebby
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Brent Bartel, 39, Richland Hills, TX Jailed for Carving Pentagram Into 6-Year-Old Son's Back Reported by The Weekly Vice Brent Bartel, a 39-year-old Texas bonehead, was jailed Wednesday after he carved a pentagram into his 6-year-old son's back - then called 911 to report what he had done. According to Richland Hills Police, officers were dispatched to a North Texas residence after a man called 911 to report that he had "shed some innocent blood." When the dispatcher asked what the caller meant, he responded "I inscribed a pentagram on my son." When the 911 operator asked why the man did that, he responded "Because it was a holy day." Although it wasn't clear exactly what the man meant, investigators believe Bartel might have associated the calendar date 12-12-2012 as a day of significance. As Bartel was talking to the dispatcher, Bartel's wife ran to a neighbor's house to call police. When officers arrived on the scene, they found a 6-year-old boy standing inside the house wearing pajama bottoms and no shirt. Investigators found a large pentagram carved into the boy's back and a box cutter nearby. In a strange twist, according to the arrest report, Bartel took some of his son's blood and smeared it onto the front door frame of the family's home. Bartel was immediately taken into custody. The boy was wrapped in a paramedic's jacket and transported to a local hospital where he is listed in stable condition. Bartel was booked into jail and charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. His bond has been set at $500,000.
Tech Support Pits From: Sarah Re: Red X when forwarding mail with pictures Dear Webby, I receive email forwards (some have been forwarded several times) that come through fine, but on some (not all) when I try to forward, the dreaded little box with red x comes up instead of sending the pictures. Sarah Dear Sarah The only way I know to get around this is save the picture to the desktop, then attach it either in a new email or if there is text in the fwd, that you want to use, attach it in there. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Spaghetti Sauce Spice Mix As Frugal Gift When I make spaghetti, I use a mix of spices that I add to my sauce, such as garlic powder, oregano, basil, crushed chilies, and sugar. I poured about one tablespoon full of each into a baggie and zip-locked it closed. Then I bought a small Christmas tin at the dollar store and put the baggie inside. For cooking instructions, I cut out a section of old Christmas card and wrote the spaghetti preparation on one side. After punching one hole in the recipe card, I tied it with Christmas ribbon around the can to give as a gift. Source: I found this idea in the Gooseberry Patch Christmas Book from the library. By Patricia from Maple Falls, WA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. Learn How To Cook Low Fat & Low Carb Chinese Food From a Master Chef with 40 Years Of Cooking Experience! With THIS book and it's easy to follow recipes, cook over 500 different healthy meals quickly and economically. Get the 500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. now.

A park ranger in the Everglades was making his rounds a couple of summers ago when a woman came bolting out of the weeds right in front of his truck. She seemed frantic and he finally got her calm enough to say that her five- year-old son was sitting on the back of an alligator. Now the ranger was frantic. Running in the direction she was pointing he found the lad astride a twelve foot male alligator which was trying to relieve itself of its load by twisting and snapping. As the brave ranger moved in he tried to console the mother by saying, "I think I can grab the boy and move away before the gator moves. Be ready to grab your son. I may have to shoot the gator." To which the lady replies "Good Heavens, no! Don't shoot him. I just wanted you to make him hold still for a minute so I could take my son's picture on his back."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, an Anchorage man answered the door to find two grim-faced Alaska State Troopers. "We're sorry Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife," said one trooper. "Tell me! Did you find her?" Wilkens shouted. The troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?" Fearing the worst, an ashen Mr. Wilkens said, "Give me the bad news first." The trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in Kachemak Bay." "Oh my God!" exclaimed Wilkens. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?" The trooper continued. "When we pulled her up she had two 25 pound king crabs and six good-size Dungeness crabs on her. They are in this cooler." Stunned, Mr. Wilkens demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news?" The trooper said, "We're going to pull her up again tomorrow."
» Old Fashioned Toys


Today in 
0004 -BC- Jesus of Nazareth was born
0352 1st definite date Christmas was celebrated on Dec 25th 
0498 French king Clovis baptises himself 
0800 Pope Leo III crowns Charles the Great 
   (Charlemagne), Roman emperor
0875 Charles, the Bare, crowned emperor of Rome 
0999 Heribertus becomes bishop of Cologne
1000 Monarch István crowned king of Hungary 
1066 William the Conqueror, crowned king of England 
1492 Columbus' ship Santa Maria docks at Dominican Republic
1522 Turkish troops occupy Rhodos 
1651 Massachusetts General Court ordered a fine
   (five shillings) for "observing any such day as Christmas" 
1717 Floods ravage Dutch coast provinces, 1000s killed
1741 Astronomer Anders Celcius introduces Centigrade 
   temperature scale 
1776 Washington crosses Delaware & surprises & 
   defeats 1,400 Hessians 
1896 "Stars & Stripes Forever" written by John Philip Sousa
1900 Arthur Schnitzlers "Leutnant Gustl" forbidden in Germany 
1926 Hirohito becomes emperor of Japan (1926-1989) 
1942 Admiral Dalans, murderer of Bosinier de la Chapelle, 
   sentenced to death
1942 Russian artillery/tank battle on German armies at 
   Stalingrad 
1959 Sony brings transistor TV 8-301 to the market 
1979 USSR airlifts invasionary army to Afghánistán 
2012  smiled


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Restore lost contact list 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, December 24.
Yes, this is a Merry Christmas site.
If you don't like that,
and don't want to get paid
for Christmas Day and Boxing Day,
then your generic holiday is
coming up the day after March 31.
We sure have a White Christmas this year. At -26 and fresh snow on top of older snow, any mention of Gullible Warming causes hilarity and joking. "Is that after the end of the world or before?" "That should help my car start!" "Has hell frozen over?" Well, arctic ice is thicker than normal, in spite of the underwater volcanoes. The natural gas bubbling up and accumulating under the ice seems to act like an insulator and less ice is melted from below by the warm water. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it. --- Alfred Hitchcock Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910) Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. --- Benjamin Franklin
A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your apartment for a home-cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy, and a week later, the woman came to dinner. His mother called the next day to see how things had gone. "I was totally humiliated," he moaned. "She insisted on washing the dishes." "What's wrong with that?" asked his mother. "We hadn't started eating yet."
Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, a young woman trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette. One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her. Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, "Dressed a little casually today, aren't we?" The man shrugged, "Yeah, well, that's one benefit of owning the company."
GuiltFREE! 50 Simple Recipes You Can Use To Whip-up All-natural, Gluten-free, Diabetic-safe, Mouthwatering Desserts. Includes Gingerbread and the Famous Fat Burning Brownies! Enjoy a GuiltFREE! season and ease off any excess weight! Make this one Christmas, where you LOOSE weight for a change, and enjoy the goodies without guilt!

Click on the picture for the large version Merry Christmas from DearWebby
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Benjamin Greene, 22, Spartanburg, SC Jailed for Shoplifting "Miley Cyrus" Blow Up Doll Reported by The Weekly Vice Benjamin Greene, a 22-year-old North Carolina man was jailed Tuesday after he allegedly tried to shoplift a "Miley Cyrus" blow up doll. According Spartanburg police, Greene was inside a Spencer Gifts retail store Dec 11 when a cashier saw Greene remove a 'Finally Mylie Lovedoll' from its packaging and place it inside his coat. Investigators say Greene passed all points of sale and proceeded to leave the store when the employee stopped him and demanded that he return the doll. Greene responded by opening his jacket which allowed the doll to drop to the floor. The doll, which is distributed by Pipedream Products, does not look like Miley Cyrus - but instead resembles a generic blow up doll with a hollowed out mouth. Spencer Gifts sells the item in their stores for $19.99. Greene was booked into the Spartanburg County Jail and charged with a misdemeanor count of shoplifting. He was released without bond. They know where he lives and that he has no money to get out of town.
Tech Support Pits From: Shirley Re: Lost address list in OE Dear Webby, By mistake I lost my contact list. Could you please tell me what to do to get it back? Thank you for your newsletter as I appreciate all you do in answering the computer questions and everything else. Merry Christmas to you Shirley Dear Shirley I have never used Outlook or outlook Depressed, so I forwarded your email to Dianne, the lady, who emails me the daily Bonus Link. Here is her reply: easiest is to do a System Restore to 3 days prior to losing contact (aka 'mailing) list. Merry Christmas & Happy New Year! Diane Dear Webby worked like a dream. Thank you to both of you. Merry Christmas to you and good health as to Dianne also. Shirley Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Less Trash on Christmas Day Here's a good way to take some of the excess stress (and trash) out of Christmas Day; especially if you have kids. Before wrapping toys, remove all the excess packaging and put the toys back in the box. If a toy needs batteries, insert them beforehand. This way, your kids get to play right away, and the amount of trash gets cut in half! By Brianna S. from Dutch Harbor, AK Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. Learn How To Cook Low Fat & Low Carb Chinese Food From a Master Chef with 40 Years Of Cooking Experience! With THIS book and it's easy to follow recipes, cook over 500 different healthy meals quickly and economically. Get the 500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. now.

Linda was hunched over the bar, toothpick in hand, spearing futilely at the olive in her drink. A dozen times the olive eluded her. Finally, another patron, who had been watching intently from the next stool, became exasperated and grabbed the toothpick. "Here, this is how you do it." he said, as he easily skewered the olive. "Big Deal," muttered Linda. "I already had him so tired out, he couldn't get away."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The crumbling, old church building needed remodeling, so the preacher made an impassioned appeal, looking directly at the richest may in town. At the end of the message, the rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute $1,000." Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder. He promptly stood again and shouted, "Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000." Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again and he screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge." He sat down and an even larger chunk of plaster fell, this time hitting him on the head. He stood once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give $20,000!" This prompted a deacon to shout, "Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!"
» Bronze Frogs


Today in 
1476 400 Burgundy soldiers freeze to death during siege of Nancy 
1593 Storm hits Texel: 40 ships hit, 500 killed
1715 Swedish troops occupy Norway 
1798 Russia & England sign Second anti-French Coalition
1818 "Silent Night" composed by Franz Joseph Gruber; 
   sung for 1st time the next day 
1870 Giusseppi Verdi's "Aida" premieres at Cairo Opera, 
1889 Daniel Stover & William Hance patent bicycle 
   with back pedal brake 
1904 German SW Africa abolishes slavery of young children 
1906 Reginald A Fessenden became 1st to broadcast music 
   over radio (Massachusetts) 
1936 1st radioactive isotope medicine administered, Berkeley CA 
1942 1st powered flight of V-1 buzz bomb, Peenemünde, Germany 
1948 1st US house completely sunheated is occupied (Dover MA) 
1953 2 fast express trains crash head-on, killing 103 
    (Czechoslovakia)
1953 Wellington-Auckland (New Zealand) express train swept away 
   in flood kills 166
1963 Greek & Turks riot in Cyprus
1966 Luna 13 lands on Moon
1968 Apollo 8 astronauts' Christmas reading (Book of Genesis) 
   while orbiting Moon 
1970 9 Jews are convicted in Leningrad for hijacking a plane 
1997 1st time a Channukah candles are officially lit in Vatican
2012  smiled


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Last minute gifts that last 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, December 23.
Yes, this is a Merry Christmas site.
If you don't like that,
and don't want to get paid
for Christmas Day and Boxing Day,
then your generic holiday is
coming up the day after March 31.
-26 sure reminds you to take your mittens along, or stick your hands deep into your pockets. Walking against the wind sure is tempting to turn and walk backwards when the gusts blow the fresh snow off the trees and roofs. Looks pretty, though! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away. --- Philip K. Dick Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair. --- George Burns My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. --- Henry Youngman
One afternoon a waiter served a bowl of chicken soup to an elderly gentleman. As he turned away to return to the kitchen the customer stopped him, calling:......"Waiter!" WAITER: "Yes,sir, is there something wrong?" CUSTOMER: "The soup. Taste it." WAITER: "I beg your pardon, Sir?" CUSTOMER: "Taste it." WAITER: "But, Sir, I can assure you that the soup is excellent." CUSTOMER: "Taste it." WAITER: "Sir, the soup was made this morning of the finest ingredients." CUSTOMER: "Taste it!" WAITER: exasperated, "All right, Sir, I'll taste it." Then after a pause he said, "Where is the spoon?" To which the customer replied triumphantly, "Ah ha!!"
The elderly woman was at the gynecologist's office for her checkup appointment. The doctor was having a hard time getting his "gooseneck" lamp to stay in one place so that he could see well. Finally he told the nurse, "Well, that thing's just worn out!" The old lady sat up and said, "Well, I can't help it. I'm not getting any younger!
GuiltFREE! 50 Simple Recipes You Can Use To Whip-up All-natural, Gluten-free, Diabetic-safe, Mouthwatering Desserts. Includes Gingerbread and the Famous Fat Burning Brownies! Enjoy a GuiltFREE! season and ease off any excess weight! Make this one Christmas, where you LOOSE weight for a change, and enjoy the goodies without guilt!

Click on the picture for the large version Taiwan Blue Magpies
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Erin Haskell, 31, Barnegat, NJ Jailed for Having Sex With Middle School Student Reported by The Weekly Vice Erin Haskell, a 31-year-old Spanish teacher at Toms River Intermediate South, has been charged after she allegedly had sex with a middle school student. According to police, she engaged in a sexual relationship with at least one student, who reportedly attended her class. Haskell reportedly taught Spanish to students ranging from 5th grade to 8th grade. Investigators would not release any other information in the case to protect the identity of the students. School officials say Haskell has been placed on administrative leave pending the outcome of the investigation. Haskell was booked into jail and charged with first and second degree aggravated sexual assault, endangering the welfare of a child and exhibiting obscene material to a minor. Bail was set at $300,000 with no 10 percent option. "exhibiting obscene material to a minor" is normally used for sending naked pictures via phone or Internet and indicates, that the prosecutor has plenty of proof for a conviction. The "no 10% bail option" indicates the same. She faces up to 20 years in jail..
Tech Support Pits From: Annalise Re: Quick gift Dear Webby I need a qick gift for a family that moved away and somehow fell off the gift list. Obviously it is too late to ship anything. What can you suggest, that would still arrive? Annalise Dear Annalise The only company that ships that suddenly is AtlanticInkjet. They seem to ship almost before I order, and sometimes I wonder if they have a secret tap into my printer. Because a lot of people were clamoring and begging Dimitris, he reset the 7 day coupon, that ran out on December 19, and reset it to December 28. I printed the reset coupon below here. By the way, the $10 off also works on Avery style label sheets! Those label sheets are already extremely cheap, and getting $10 off them is incredible! So, ask your friends what kind of printer they use, then order them a refill and some label sheets, and as soon as you get the order confirmation, paste the important parts of it onto an Internet Postcard to them. Even if the post office can't quite deliver in time, they will have the order confirmation, and know that the goodies are on the way. By the way, they also have edible ink and printable, edible cake tops. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Wash Dishes With A Loofah Instead of using a regular kitchen sponge, try using a loofah or bath scrub to wash your dishes. They dry much faster than a kitchen sponge and provide more lather. I assume the quicker drying time helps prevent bacterial buildup, as mine have never felt slimy like a kitchen sponge. Loofah's may also be microwaved while wet for approximately 2 minutes to kill germs. Please do not microwave the plastic scrubs! I've tried cloths, etc., but in my opinion nothing beats a loofah. By Ivy from Rancho Plaos Verdes Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. Learn How To Cook Low Fat & Low Carb Chinese Food From a Master Chef with 40 Years Of Cooking Experience! With THIS book and it's easy to follow recipes, cook over 500 different healthy meals quickly and economically. Get the 500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. now.

At a wedding I recently attended, the priest called for a moment of silence to remember the faithful dead... As the church grew quiet, a little boy sitting in front of me turned to his grandfather and said excitedly, "Grampa, you have some of their albums!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. It didn't bother her much until one evening when her husband called from the hall, somewhat dismayed: "Honey, what happened to the dust on this table? I had a phone number written on it."
» Tilt Shift Photography


Today in 
1620 French Huguenots declare war on King Louis XIII 
1672 Giovanni Cassini discovers Rhea, a satellite of Saturn
1688 English king Jacob II flees to France 
1690 John Flamsteed observes Uranus without realizing it's 
   undiscovered 
1751 France sets plan to tax clergymen 
1776 Continental Congress negotiates a war loan of $181,500 
   from France
1788 Maryland votes to cede a 10 square mile area for 
   District of Columbia
1832 Dutch troops in Antwerp surrender 
1834 Joseph Hansom of London receives patent for Hansom cabs
1867 1st self-made millionairess (Sarah Breedlove-hair 
   straightener) 
1888 Dutch painter Vincent van Gogh cuts off his left ear 
1899 Tentative Turkish & German treaty on construction of 
   Baghdad railway 
1912 1st "Keystone Kops" film, titled "Hoffmeyer's Legacy" 
1912 Aswan Dam in Nile begins operation 
1920 Ireland divided into 2 parts, each with its own parliament 
 1933 Train crash in Eastern Paris; 230 die
1939 Finnish counter offensive at Summa 
1941 American forces on Wake Island surrender to Japanese
1941 British troops overrun Benghazi Libya
1941 Japan begins assault on Rangoon Burma 
1944 Beginning of harsh winter 
1947 Transistor invented by Bardeen, Brattain & Shockley 
   in Bell Labs 
1960 King Saudi of Saudi-Arabia takes power 
1961 Fidel Castro announces Cuba will release 1,113 POWs 
   from failed 1961 Bay of Pigs Invasion for $62 million worth 
   of food & medical supplies 
1962 Cuba starts returning US prisoners from the Bay of 
   Pigs invasion 
1968 82 members of US intelligence ship 'Pueblo' 
   released by North Korea 
1968 Borman, Lovell & Anders become 1st men to orbit Moon 
1973 6 Persian Gulf nations double their oil prices
1986 Rutan & Yeager make 1st around-the-world flight 
   without refueling 
1990 Slovenians vote to secede from Yugoslavia
1997 US Agriculture Department estimates it costs $149,820
    to raise a child to 18
1997 Woody Allen, 62 weds Soon-Yi Previn 27,  
   adopted daughter of Mia Farrow 
2012  smiled


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Last minute quick gifts: Ink and Toner 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, December 22.
Yes, this is a Merry Christmas site.
If you don't like that,
and don't want to get paid
for Christmas Day and Boxing Day,
then your generic holiday is
coming up the day after March 31.
Today in 1983 Egyptian President Mubarak meets with PLO leader Yasser Arafat. Under Sadat and even more so under Mubarak, Egypt had slowly become an almost Western country, and eased away from being a typical Arab country. Arab Spring sure changed that! How did you celebrate the end of the world, according to the Mayan Calendar? Reading about all the expensive "End Of The World" parties? I was planning to, but got too busy. The only thing that ended was my good old digital outdoor thermometer. It seems to have frozen. I bought that in 1982, 30 years ago, at the Radio Shack. Sure got a lot of service out of that one! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him; better take a closer look at the American Indian. --- Henry Ford There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it. --- Cicero, (in De Divinatione)
>From Eve Part of my job at the District Attorney's office is to send letters to people accused of crimes, informing them when a court date is scheduled. One such notice was returned, clearly by a criminal mastermind, with this jotted on the envelope, "I do not live here anymore."
Although I knew our commanding officer hated doling out weekend passes, I thought I had a good reason. "My wife is pregnant and I want to be with her," I told the C.O. Much to my surprise he said, "Permission granted." Inspired by my success, a fellow soldier also requested a weekend pass. His wife wasn't pregnant, so when the C.O. asked why he should grant him permission, my friend re- sponded, "My wife is getting pregnant this weekend and I want to be with her."
GuiltFREE! 50 Simple Recipes You Can Use To Whip-up All-natural, Gluten-free, Diabetic-safe, Mouthwatering Desserts. Includes Gingerbread and the Famous Fat Burning Brownies! Enjoy a GuiltFREE! season and ease off any excess weight! Make this one Christmas, where you LOOSE weight for a change, and enjoy the goodies without guilt!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Kevon Stewart, 25, Lauderhill, Florida Jailed for Biting Off Wife's Ear During Birthday Celebration Reported by The Weekly Vice Kevon Stewart, a 25-year-old Lauderhill man was jailed Sunday after he allegedly bit most of his wife's ear off during an argument on her birthday. According to police, Stewart and his wife were visiting the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino on her birthday when they began arguing inside a fourth level parking garage. A security guard was called to the scene around 6:00 a.m, and he called police after he saw Stewart put his wife in a headlock. The couple attempted to drive away, but the security officer stopped them after he noticed that the woman was bleeding heavily from her ear. Closer inspection revealed that a majority of the woman's ear had been bitten off and was hanging from the side of her head. The victim was taken to the Memorial Hospital West in Pembroke Pines where the ear was stapled on again and she was treated for her injuries. Stewart confessed to biting his wife's ear, and stated that they were at the casino to celebrate her 29th birthday. They coulple has been married for 2 years. Stewart was booked into jail and charged with felony domestic battery. His bond has been set at $12,500. The report does not state how intoxicated they were, when they tried to drive home at 6 am.
Tech Support Pits From: Annalise Re: Quick gift Dear Webby I need a qick gift for a family that moved away and somehow fell off the gift list. Obviously it is too late to ship anything. What can you suggest, that would still arrive? Annalise Dear Annalise The only company that ships that suddenly is AtlanticInkjet. They seem to ship almost before I order, and sometimes I wonder if they have a secret tap into my printer. Because a lot of people were clamoring and begging Dimitris, he reset the 7 day coupon, that ran out on December 19, and reset it to December 28. I printed the reset coupon below here. By the way, the $10 off also works on Avery style label sheets! Those label sheets are already extremely cheap, and getting $10 off them is incredible! So, ask your friends what kind of printer they use, then order them a refill and some label sheets, and as soon as you get the order confirmation, paste the important parts of it onto an Internet Postcard to them. Even if the post office can't quite deliver in time, they will have the order confirmation, and know that the goodies are on the way. By the way, they also have edible ink and printable, edible cake tops. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reduce Overflowing in Fruit Pies Before Mixing When I bake fruit filled pies such as Blueberry, after adding the top crust as well as cutting slits in the top crust, I take a piece of tube type pasta and insert it in the center of my pie crust. This will let the steam out and keep the filling in the pie., Source: My Mom By JodiT from Aurora, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. Learn How To Cook Low Fat & Low Carb Chinese Food From a Master Chef with 40 Years Of Cooking Experience! With THIS book and it's easy to follow recipes, cook over 500 different healthy meals quickly and economically. Get the 500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. now.

When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars." Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A gent from Chicago was on a fishing vacation up north in the Wisconsin woods. He was out fishing on a lake in a small boat and not having much luck. He noticed a man in another small boat that was close by, open his tackle box and take out a mirror. Being curious the man rowed over and enquired, "What is the mirror for?" "That's my secret way to catch fish," replied the other man. "I Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim up to the surface. Then I just reach down, net them and pull them into the boat." "Wow! Does that really work?" exclaimed the guy from Chicago "You bet it does." was the response. "Would you be interested in selling that mirror? I'll give you $50 for it." offered the big city gent. "Well, okay." said the country guy. After the money was transferred, the city fisherman asked, "By the way, how many did you catch this week?" The country local, grinned and said, "You're the sixteenth."
» Golden Gate Bridge


Today in 
1536 English scholar Reginald Pole appointed cardinal 
1596 Ferryboat Meuniers crashes in Paris, 150 die 
1689 Heavy earthquake strikes Innsbruck 
1775 Continental navy organized with 7 ships 
1790 Russian troops occupy Ismail on Turks
1807 Congress passes Embargo Act, to force peace 
   between Britain & France 
1810 British frigate Minotaur sinks killing 480
1815 Spaniards execute Mexican revolutionary priest 
   José Maria Morelos 
1882 1st string of Christmas tree lights created by Edison
1894 French officer Alfred Dreyfus court-martialed for 
   treason, triggers worldwide charges of anti-Semitism 
   (Dreyfus later vindicated) 
1919 Government of Ireland Act of Power 
   (Home Rule for Ireland) 
1919 US deports 250 alien radicals, including anarchist 
   Emma Goldman 
1939 125 die in train wreck at Magdeburg Germany; 
      99 die in 2nd wreck at Friedrichshafen Germany
1939 Finnish counter offensive at Petsamo
1944 Germans demand surrender of American troops 
   at Bastogne, Belgium 
1950 2 self-propelled trains of Long Island RR collide, killing 77
1956 Last British/French troops leave Egypt 
1964 Lockheed SR-71 spy aircraft reaches 3,530 kph 
   (record for a jet) 
1965 Belgian government shuts 6 coal mines
1965 Great-Britain sets maximum speed at 70 MPH 
 1976 German Democratic Republic banishes singer Nina Hagen
1977 36 die as grain elevator at Continental Grain explodes 
1983 Egyptian President Mubarak meets with PLO leader 
   Yasser Arafat 
1988 2 robbers wearing police uniforms rob armored truck of 
   $3 million in New Jersey 
1988 Tug hits oil barge, spreads 231,000 gal on 300 miles of 
   Western Australia & British Columbia coast 
1990 Iraq announces it will never give up Kuwait
1990 Israeli ferry capsizes killing 21 US servicemen 
1997 Merck baldness pill for men approved by FDA 
2012  smiled


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Dark camera LCD 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, December 21. Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Yes, this is a Merry Christmas site.
If you don't like that,
and don't want to get paid
for Christmas Day and Boxing Day,
then your generic holiday is
coming up the day after March 31.
Apocalypse and the end of the world has been postponed, because it is alredy tomorrow in Australia. However, don't worry. Al Gore is working on a new FUD (Fear, Uncertainty, Doubt) scheme to get the sheeple's knickers in a knot and to offer to pay more taxes. (The sheeple, not him, of course!) Tonight is the longest night of the year. Starting tomorrow, the days will get longer again! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself. --- Oscar Wilde Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him; better take a closer look at the American Indian. --- Henry Ford
>From Dr Bill I've got this great joke:"It seems there were two Swede.." Stop! you can't tell ethnic jokes today! it's not politically correct! - But it's such a great joke, suppose I make the characters Poles? - God NO! - How about Jews? - Worse! - How about Catholics? - absolutely not! - I know, how about Eskimos, nobody knows any? No way! humor about native Americans! You're out of your mind! - Tell you what, I'll make them Martians - that won't offend anybody, and there probably aren't any anyway? - OK, make the characters Martians. - Great: "OK, there were these two Martians, Ole and Sven...."
>From Mike Arriving home from work at my usual hour of 5 p.m., I discovered that it had not been one of my wife's better days. Nothing I said or did seemed to be right. By 7 p.m., things had not changed, so I suggested I go outside, pretend I had just gotten home, and start all over again. My wife agreed. I went outside, came back in and, with a big smile, announced, "Honey, I'm home!" "And just where the hell have you been?" she replied sharply. "It's after seven o'clock!"
GuiltFREE! 50 Simple Recipes You Can Use To Whip-up All-natural, Gluten-free, Diabetic-safe, Mouthwatering Desserts. Includes Gingerbread and the Famous Fat Burning Brownies! Enjoy a GuiltFREE! season and ease off any excess weight! Make this one Christmas, where you LOOSE weight for a change, and enjoy the goodies without guilt!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Lester Davis, 57, Wentzville, Missouri Firing Gun Inside Barber Shop During Argument Over Sandy Hook Shooting Reported by The Weekly Vice Lester Davis, a 57-year-old Wentzville man was jailed Tuesday after he allegedly shot at a customer at a local barbershop during a disagreement over the Sandy Hook School shooting. According to the Wentzville Police Department, Davis was at the All Cuts Barber Shop discussing the Sandy Hook school shooting with other customers when an argument broke out between the men. When one of the men stated that he wanted to "murder the suspect," Davis took exception with the statement and responded by saying "you want to murder me?" That's when Davis walked out to his car and returned with a loaded 9mm Smith and Wesson. Before the victim could flee the barber shop, Davis fired off three rounds in his direction. He then reportedly pointed toward the victim and stated "I'll let you slide" before fleeing the scene. The victim was not injured in the altercation. Davis was booked into jail and charged with first-degree assault, armed criminal action, and unlawful possession of a weapon. He is currently being held in lieu of a $400,000 cash-only bond. According to court records, in 1975, Davis was convicted of second-degree homicide and unlawful possession of a weapon in Middlesex County, New Jersey. He has also been involved in numerous verbal altercations with neighbors, resulting in an order of protection being issued against him.
Tech Support Pits From: Elsie Re: Dark camera LCD Dear Webby I bought that Canon Powershot 3S-IS that you recommended. It is phantastic in twilight and the night, and indoors, but practically useless on sow in bright sunshine. The LCD monitor on it goes black and you can't see anything. The optical view finder goes black too. Is the camera broken or am I doing something wrong? Elsie Dear Elsie The camera is not broken. All LCD camera monitors APPEAR to be black when you are out in bright sunshine on snow. They are not really black, just compared to the bright scenery, your eye does not see it right. Just use a black silk cape like photographers have used for hundreds of years. If you are concerned that might mess up your hairdoo, close the LCD monitor flap. That unlocks the optical view finder and you can use that. While not as informative as the LCD monitor, it's plenty good enough for aiming. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Grease Beaters/Utensils Before Mixing Lightly spray your beaters with cooking spray. This helps to prevent batter from sticking on the beaters plus easier clean up. Also, when mashing potatoes, spray the masher with cooking spray. You can lightly spray most utensils for baking/cooking to prevent sticking and for easier clean-up. To prevent over spraying, hold beaters/utensils over bowl or baking pan that is to be used, then lightly spray. By Nana from NE PA / USA -------------- I have been using an Amway trigger spray bottle filled with Olive oil for at least twenty years, with occasional refills, of course. Even the best Olive oil is fifty times cheaper than Cooking spray, and probably a lot healthier! Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. Learn How To Cook Low Fat & Low Carb Chinese Food From a Master Chef with 40 Years Of Cooking Experience! With THIS book and it's easy to follow recipes, cook over 500 different healthy meals quickly and economically. Get the 500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. now.

In Washington State, a little north of Seattle, is a river called the Stillaguamish, but it wasn't always called that. It was originally named "Aguamish" after a local Indian tribe. When Lewis & Clark finally made their way to the west coast they came to the Aguamish tribe and met the chief who told them what the name of the river was and gave them a tour of the area. Years later Merriweather Lewis returned and met the Aguamish chief again and the subject finally came around to the river: "Chief, I've been told that, because of so many white men have arrived in the area, many of the rivers are being renamed because they couldn't pronounce the names. Tell me, what is the name of your river now, please, " Lewis pleaded. "Oh," replied the chief. "It's Still Aguamish."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An American tourist in Tel Aviv was about to enter the impressive Mann Auditorium to take in a concert by the Israel Philharmonic. He was admiring the unique architecture, the sweeping lines of the entrance, and the modern decor throughout the building. Finally he turned to his escort and asked if the building was named for Thomas Mann, the world-famous author. "No," his friend said, "it's named for Freddy Mann, from Philadelphia." "Really? I never heard of him. What did he write?" "A check."
» Sky Trails


Today in 
1945 George S Patton US general (Sicily/Normandy), 
   dies in car accident in Heidelberg at 60 

1620 103 Mayflower pilgrims land at Plymouth Rock 
1829 1st stone arch railroad bridge in US dedicated, Baltimore
1910 Explosion in coal mine in Hulton England, 344 mine workers die
1914 1st feature-length silent film comedy, "Tillie's 
   Punctured Romance"
1919 J Edgar Hoover deports anarchists/feminist Emma 
   Goldman to Russia 
1933 Newfoundland reverts to being a crown colony 
1942 US Supreme court declares Nevada separation legal 
1948 State of Eire (formerly Irish Free State) declares its 
   independence 
1959 Shah of Persia marries Farah Diba
1962 US & Cuba accord, releases bay of pigs captives
1988 New York bound Pan Am jumbo jet (Flight 103) explodes 
   over Scotland, killing all 259 people on the plane and 11 people 
   on the ground 
1989 US invades Panamá and ousts General Noriega 
1989 Vice-President Quayle sends out 30,000 Christmas cards 
   with word beacon spelled beakon
1991 Hanoi Jane (Jane Fonda) marries CNN-director Ted Turner
1997 Detroit Lions linebacker Reggie Brown, knocked 
unconscious in game 
2012  smiled


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Transferring bookmarks to a new machine 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, December 20
Yes, this is a Merry Christmas site.
If you don't like that,
and don't want to get paid
for Christmas Day and Boxing Day,
then your generic holiday is
coming up the day after March 31.
I had a long tirade here about focusing on taking care of nut cases instead of blindly following the leader in trying to disarm a nation, but I cut it. Here I would be preaching to the choir, and the rest is hypnotized and not thinking anyway. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The human mind treats a new idea the same way the body treats a strange protein; it rejects it. --- P. B. Medawar
Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a canoe?" "No, I don't," said Ole. "A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Lars.
Ole is so cheap that after his airplane landed safely he grumbled, "Vell, dere gose five dollars down da drain for dat flight insurance!"
GuiltFREE! 50 Simple Recipes You Can Use To Whip-up All-natural, Gluten-free, Diabetic-safe, Mouthwatering Desserts. Includes Gingerbread and the Famous Fat Burning Brownies! Enjoy a GuiltFREE! season and ease off any excess weight! Make this one Christmas, where you LOOSE weight for a change, and enjoy the goodies without guilt!

Click on the picture for the large version The Queen, used to sitting through long speeches and parades, is reputed to be an accomplished ventriloquist, able to crack up politicians just as the picture is snapped. Since most of them are rather dense, by the time they get a joke, the Queen has long resumed the official stoneface mien. The queen watched the clowns (cabinet) for 25 minutes, and received a stack of placemats in exchange.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Jennifer Shurtleff, 27, Hannibal, Ill Jailed for Stuffing Drugs Into Child's Pocket During Arrest For Shoplifting Reported by The Weekly Vice Jennifer Shurtleff, a 27-year-old Hannibal woman was jailed Thursday after she allegedly hid a large amount of drugs in her child's pocket while she was caught shoplifting from Kmart. According to Quincy Police, Shurtleff was attempting to shoplift from a local Kmart when she was stopped by a loss prevention officer working at the store. The loss prevention officer held the woman and her young daughter at the store until police arrived on the scene. Arriving officers searched Shurtleff and her daughter and allegedly recovered stolen merchandise totaling less than $300. Officers also discovered heroin, cocaine and marijuana that Shurtleff had placed inside her daughter's pocket. The amount of cocaine and heroin found in the child's pocket exceeded one full gram each, so the charges against Shurtleff were upgraded to possession with intent to sell. Shurtleff was booked into the Adams County Jail and charged with endangering the welfare of a child, two felony counts of unlawful possession with intent to deliver a controlled substance, one felony count of retail theft, and unlawful possession of cannabis. She is currently being held in lieu of a $20,000 bond. According to court records, this was not Shurtleff's first retail theft arrest. In 2009, she received 12 months conditional discharge, 40 hours of public service, and two days in the county jail. She successfully completed the terms of her discharge in 2009.
Tech Support Pits From: Ron Re: Transferring bookmarks to a new mchine Dear Webby I need help again. I am using Firefox need to transfer my bookmarks to my new machine. I am at a loss for this one how can I do it? Old machine has Windows XP new one has Windows 7. Windows 7 does not seem to be as bad as I thought I can get around it pretty good "so far" thanks for your help Dear Ron Save your bookmarks to a file. Mail that file to yourself. Check the mail from the new machine. Import the bookmarks. Hi Webby Thanks that will help but I do not know where to find the bookmarks file, where do they hide it. Hi Ron Click on BOOKMARKS SHOW all Bookmarks Import and BackUp BackUp Then on the new machine, after you have mailed or transferred that file to it, do the same, but select Restore instead of BackUp. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Common Sense Holiday Gift Giving Common sense tells you not to buy those pajamas's when you have no idea what someone's size is. Get them a gift certificate or ask them what they want or need first. In the current time of having to be thrifty with your money and make it stretch way beyond what you think you should, something handmade or a box of favorite candies will suffice as a warm message to someone to just show them you care. By Gem from VA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. Learn How To Cook Low Fat & Low Carb Chinese Food From a Master Chef with 40 Years Of Cooking Experience! With THIS book and it's easy to follow recipes, cook over 500 different healthy meals quickly and economically. Get the 500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. now.

"Hey, Sven," said Ole, "how many Swedes does it take to grease a combine?" After Sven replied he didn't know, Ole said, "Only two, if you run them through real slow."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
During a business trip to Boeing's Everett, Washington factory, I noticed several 747 and 777 airliners being assembled. Before the engines were installed, huge weights were hung from the wings to keep the planes balanced. The solid-steel weights were bright yellow and marked "14,000 lbs." But what I found particularly interesting was some stenciling I discovered on the side of each weight. Imprinted there was the warning: "Remove before flight."
» WestJet Surprise Christmas FlashMob


Today in 
0069 General Vespasianus occupies Rome
1046 Synod of Sutri: German king Henry III removes Popes 
   Gregory VI, Benedictus IX & Silvester III & names 
   Bishop Siutger to Pope Clemens II
1192 Richard the Lionhearted captured in Vienna 
1600 Ottario Rinuccini/Giulio Caccini's opera "Euridice" 
1606 Virginia Company settlers leave London to establish 
   Jamestown VA 
1669 1st jury trial in Delaware; Marcus Jacobson condemned 
   for insurrection & sentenced to flogging, branding & slavery 
1699 Peter the Great ordered Russian New Year changed-Sept 1 
   to Jan 1
1745 Bonnie Prince Charlie's army meets de Esk
1780 England declares war on Netherlands
1790 1st successful US cotton mill to spin yarn (Pawtucket RI) 
1803 Louisiana Purchase formally transferred from France to 
   US for $27 million 
1820 Missouri imposes a $1 bachelor tax on unmarried men 
   between 21 & 50
1879 Tom Edison privately demonstrated incandescent light 
   at Menlo Park 
1880 New York's Broadway lit by electricity, becomes 
   known as "Great White Way"
1883 International cantilever railway bridge opens at 
   Niagara Falls 
1892 Pneumatic automobile tire patented, Syracuse NY
1915 Russian troops overrun Qom, Persia
1917 Russian secret police in Czechoslovakia forms
1919 Canadian National Railways established (North 
  America's longest, 50,000 KM) 
1919 US House of Representatives restricts immigration
1920 Bob Hope becomes an American citizen 
1922 14 republics form Union of Soviet Socialistic 
   Republics (USSR) 
1924 Adolf Hitler freed from jail early 
1941 Free France under Admiral Muselier occupies 
   St-Pierre et Miquélon
1941 Japanese troops lands on Mindanao
1942 1st Japanese bombing of Calcutta 
1943 "International" is no longer USSR National Anthem 
  (Still anthem of Unions)
1957 Elvis Presley given draft notice to join US Army
1960 Auschwitz-commandant Richard Bär arrested
1963 Trial against 21 camp guards of Auschwitz begins
1967 474,300 US soldiers in Vietnam
1977 1st Space walk made by G Grechko from Salyut 
1983 PLO chairman Yasser Arafat & 4,000 loyalists 
   evacuate Lebanon
 1988 Animal rights terrorists fire-bomb Harrod's 
   department store, London 
1989 US troops invade Panamá & oust Manuel Noriega, 
   but don't catch him
1990 Pentagon warns Saddam Hussein that US air 
   power is ready to attack on 1/15 
1992 Slobodan Milosevic re-elected President of Serbia 
1999 Portugal returns Macau to China
2012  smiled


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Mailwasher Filters 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, December 19

Yes, this is a Merry Christmas site.
If you don't like that, and don't want to get paid for
Christmas Day and Boxing Day, then your generic holiday is
coming up the day after March 31.
Jim & Linda, my name is DearWebby, not "humor". And I am not going to change my user name anywhere. ------------------ Metro Online Guess who will own the pictures of your grandkids and your dog and your spouse by Jan 16 ? And not give you a penny, if they make a few Million bucks by putting your picture of your sweetie is onto every soup can or dogfood bag. You have heard the phrase: "You have been volunteered." The newest phrase is: "You have been agreed." Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

In economics the majority is always wrong." --- John Kenneth Galbraith Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with. --- Bob Wells Every war has two sides, and just two. One of them is called the enemy side. --- Tacitus
Jane had a system for labeling homemade freezer meals. She would carefully note in large clear letters, "Meatloaf" or "Pot Roast" or "Steak and Vegetables" or "Chicken and Dumplings" or "Beef Pot Pie." Everyday when she asked her husband what he wanted for dinner, he never asked for any of those meals. She decided to stock the freezer with his various requests. What he really likes. In Jane's freezer now you'll see a whole new set of labels. You'll find dinners with neat little tags that say: "Whatever," "Anything," "I Don't Know," "I Don't Care," "Something Good," or "Food." No more frustration for Jane because no matter what her husband replies when she asks him what he wants for dinner, it's there waiting.
Thanks to Kati, today we have a Minnesota Special. Before any silly dogooders get their bloomers into a knot, I'll clarify the difference between Swedes and Norvegians. There isn't any. They are all Minnesotans, just some tell Norvegian jokes and some tell Swede jokes. Lena called the airlines information desk and inquired, "How long does it take to fly from Minneapolis to Fargo?" "Just a minute," said the busy clerk. "Vell, said Lena, "if it has to go dat fast, I tink I'll just take da bus."
GuiltFREE! 50 Simple Recipes You Can Use To Whip-up All-natural, Gluten-free, Diabetic-safe, Mouthwatering Desserts. Includes Gingerbread and the Famous Fat Burning Brownies! Enjoy a GuiltFREE! season and ease off any excess weight! Make this one Christmas, where you LOOSE weight for a change, and enjoy the goodies without guilt!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Christine Meyers, 23, Chicago, Ill Jailed for Running Over Boyfriend, Tearing Skin Off His Testicles Reported by The Weekly Vice Christine Meyers, a 23-year-old Chicago woman was jailed Friday after she allegedly drove over her boyfriend, burning the skin off of his testicles in the process. According to police, Meyers had picked up her boyfriend from a bar Friday night when the couple began to argue. When the couple reached their Tinley Park residence, the boyfriend got out of the car and fell down or got knoked down or laid down in front of it. Meyers responded by driving over her boyfriend and burning some rubber on him.. Investigators say the victim suffered severe burns to his chest and back as a result of the assault. The skin covering his testicles was also burned and torn from his body, according to the arrest affidavit. Surgery will be required to correct the damage to the man's testicles, according to police. Meyers was booked into jail and charged with aggravated domestic battery. Her bond has been set at $100,000.
Tech Support Pits From: Frank Re: MailWasher filters Dear Webby Question...I've been using Mailwasher for a number of years and find it beneficial. However, I have problems with making filters to do exactly what I want. Here is the latest concern. I found a message from Nick Bolton @ Mailwasher in my recycle folder. I tried to restore it but it kept getting deleted. My ISP showed it as SPAM and I have a filter that automatically deletes anything with SPAM in the subject line even though the sender may be on my friends list. Is there a way to still delete SPAM but not if the sender is on friends list? Merry Christmas and a healthy New Year Frank Dear Frank In the filters there is a checkbox about This Filter takes precedence over the Friends / Blacklist Watch out for that one. Also keep in mind that once a filter has paint-balled something, that item will no longer be considered. If it has been paint-balled red, it is spam, if it has been paint-balled green, it is good, no matter what other rules come later. You may have to move some filter rules up or down the list. Highliht it, and ust the little elevator button on the left under the filters to jack it up or down. Usually it is best to move the positive filters to the top. For example if the FROM Contains humor@webby.com then consider it legitimate. That paint-balls all the good stuff green and takes it out of the battle. Then go after the stupid wotches and phorma stuff, paint-ball it red and and get that out of the way. And so on. It is just a strategy game, but you can easily win it. Just keep that paint-balled concept in mind. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Microwave Plate for Extra Serving Platter Use Microwave Plate for Extra Serving Platter When entertaining this holiday season and you find that you are in need of an extra platter, use the glass platter that's inside your microwave oven. Works like a charm. By annelaundrie Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote, all in one place, without having to go there separately for each.
500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. Learn How To Cook Low Fat & Low Carb Chinese Food From a Master Chef with 40 Years Of Cooking Experience! With THIS book and it's easy to follow recipes, cook over 500 different healthy meals quickly and economically. Get the 500+ Healthy Chinese Recipes Cookbook. now.

The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. He said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for support." "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. "And vunce in a while I'll try to chip in a few bucks, myself."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, Lars inquired how she was doing with it. "Oh," said Ole, "I persuaded her to svitch to a clarinet." "How come," asked Lars? "Vell," Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet she can't sing, and she does not scare de dogs like she did with de tuba."
» Bright Lites


Today in 
1154 King Henry II of England crowned
1551 Dutch west coast hit by hurricane 
1688 King James II's wife & son flee to France 
1732 Benjamin Franklin (under the name Richard Saunders) 
   begins publication of "Poor Richard's Almanack" 
1788 Chinese troops occupy capital Thang Long Vietnam
1828 South Carolina declares the right of states to nullify 
   federal laws 
1843 Charles Dickens publishes "A Christmas Carol" in England 
1871 Albert L Jones (New York NY), patents corrugated paper
1904 The Dawson City (Yukon) hockey team begins 9 day walk to 
   Whitehorse to catch a train to Skagway, Alaska to get a boat 
   to Seattle to catch a train to Ottawa to play in the Stanley Cup 
   on January 13 1905 
1907 Gas explosion at Jacobs Creek PA coal mine kills 239 
1910 Rayon 1st commercially produced, Marcus Hook PA
1922 Mrs Theres Vaughn, 24, confessed in court to being 
   married 62 times 
1939 Russian air & ground attack against Finnish positions 
   near Summa 
1941 Hitler takes complete command of German Army 
1941 US Office of Censorship created to control info 
   pertaining to WWII 
1945 Austrian Republic re-establishes
1946 War breaks out in Indochina as Ho Chi Minh 
   attacks French in Hanoi
1949 Luxury passenger ship Aquitania demolished in 
   Garelock Scotland 
1950 Tibet's Dalai Lama flees Chinese invasion
1958 1st radio broadcast from space (recorded Christmas 
   message by President Eisenhower: "To all mankind, 
   America's wish for Peace on Earth & Good Will to 
   Men Everywhere") 
1961 British government begins decimal coin system
1962 Transit 5A1, 1st operational navigational satellite
1976 Piper Cherokee crashes into Baltimore Memorial Stadium 
   upper stands, 10 minutes after Colts lose 40-14 to Steelers; 
   No one seriously hurt 
1980 Iran requests $24 billion in US guarantees to free hostages 
1984 Wayne Gretzky, 23, is 18th & youngest NHL-er to 
score 1,000 points
1988 Unexploded WWII bomb found in Frankfurt, Germany-
   5,000 evacuated 
1991 Boris Yeltsin takes control of Kremlin
1995 Queen Elizabeth askes Prince Charles & Diana to divorce 
2012  smiled


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