Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday,  July 21

Thank you, Lisa!!

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
SC Woman threatens to punch babies 
if she sees mums breastfeeding
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 21 in
1831 Belgium became independent as Leopold I was 
proclaimed King of the Belgians. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. 
Pigs treat us as equals.
--- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965) 

We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that 
what we learned the day before was wrong.
--- Bill Vaughan
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

When I attended a convention once of
oil men, the first speaker was from Texas.
He rambled on about stuff for a good half
hour and then introduced the next gent,
who happened to be from Oklahoma.  The
Texas man said, "Oklahoma, an outlying
province of Texas."

The second speaker said, "Thank you,
Mr. Smith, but, just to set the record straight,
there ain't NO state that can out-lie Texas."
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

Two Rednecks rob a Brink's Armored truck
and all they get away with are two sacks, so
they keep one each. After awhile they meet
again and one asks the other, "What did you
find in your sack?"

"Half a million bucks."

"Aw... that's a lot! What did you do with all
that cash?"

"I bought a house and a boat. How about
your sack?"

"Bah... mine was full o' bills"

"And what did you do with them?"

"Eh well . . . little by little, I'm paying them off."
___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Carly Clark,
Spartanburg,
South Carolina

SC Woman threatens to punch babies 
if she sees moms breastfeeding

A mother posted a hateful message to Facebook where she threatened
to punch women and their babies if they breastfed in front of her.
Furious parents shared the shocking social media rant in which
Carly Clark said she was ‘not sorry’. 

Carly Clark, from South Carolina, US, made the violent threats
because she said didn’t want her children to see women
breastfeeding in public.

‘The next female that tries to whip her boob out to breastfeed in
front of my kids will get a black eye, move that baby bc [because]
I’ll punch it too [sic].

On the only full length picture online of Carly Clark she appears
to have the chest of an average 12 year old boy.

After finding out Carly worked as a manager at pet shop Petsense,
some outraged parents sent screenshots to the company. Petsense
issued an online statement claiming they did not ‘condone violence
such as was recently posted by a Petsense employee’ and that she
did not represent the company’s views. A few hours later, a follow-
up message claimed that following an investigation, the individual
was ‘no longer employed’.



Tech Support Pits
From Bill
Re: Seconday mail account problem

Dear Webby,
It's Bill again. Now Eudora won't retrieve mail from my secondary
address. It should be the same PW as my "dominant" personality.
"Dominant" works. The secondary gives an error message "ERR
Authentication failure, mate".

I would appreciate any help you can offer.
Thanks.
Bill

Dear Bill
Eudora has been able to handle dominant plus secondary accounts
since about 1993, however, when semi-skilled and sooty summer help
at the ISP messes around, it can turn into a real nuisance.
Those kids tend to assume that everybody gets onto the Internet
with a SillyPhone, like they are, so they keep changing the
settings at the ISP side.

Instead of coping with the silly twits, most people simply set the
secondary email to automatically forward to the dominant or primary
email.

That way you get everything at your dominant email address, and
don't have to worry about all the others. They simply show up.
You still see which address the mail has been sent to.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.


A boy and his dad were playing with toy cars.  The father had the
police car and pretended to pull over the car that the boy was
playing with. "Do you have a drivers license?" he asked the boy.

"No," the boy answered seriously.

"Are you resisting arrest?" asked the father.

The boy hesitated, then said, "No, I'm not sleepy yet."



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




On her way back from the concession stand, Sally
asked a man at the end of the row, "Pardon me,
but did I step on your foot before?"

Expecting an apology, the man said, "Indeed you did."

The woman nodded. "Oh good. Then this is my row."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Baking Fish
When baking fish, set each fillet on a lettuce leaf. The
lettuce will prevent the fish fillets from sticking to the pan.
Just discard the lettuce when your fish is done baking.


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________






The Russian dachas.

___________________________________________________

Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a
long trial, the jury aquitted him.  Later that day, Carlson came
back to the judge who had presided at the hearing.

"Your honor," he said, "I want to get out a warrant for that
dirty lawyer of mine."

"Why?" asked the judge. "He won your aquittal.  What do you want
to have him arrested for?"

"Well, your honor," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to
pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole..."
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


What is the one thing that all women at singles bars have in
common?

An untanned ring line on their ring finger.

____________________________________________________



Today, July 21 in
1831 Belgium became independent as Leopold I was proclaimed King of
the Belgians. 

1861 The first major battle of the U.S. Civil War began. It was the
Battle of Bull Run at Manassas Junction, VA. The Confederates won
the battle. 

1925 The "Monkey Trial" ended in Dayton, TN. John T. Scopes was
convicted and fined $100 for violating the state prohibition on
teaching Darwin's theory of evolution. The conviction was later
overturned on a legal technicality because the judge had set the
fine instead of the jury. 

1930 The Veterans Administration of the United States was
established. 

1931 The Reno Race Track inaugurated the daily double in the U.S. 

1940 Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia were annexed by the Soviet
Union. 

1944 American forces landed on Guam during World War II. 

1949 The U.S. Senate ratified the North Atlantic Treaty. 

1954 The Geneva Conference partitioned Vietnam into North Vietnam
and South Vietnam. 

1959 A U.S. District Court judge in New York City ruled that "Lady
Chatterley’s Lover" was not a dirty book. 

1961 Captain Virgil "Gus" Grissom became the second American to
rocket into a sub-orbital pattern around the Earth. He was flying
on the Liberty Bell 7. 

1968 Arnold Palmer became the first golfer to make a million
dollars in career earnings after he tied for second place at the
PGA Championship. 

1980 Draft registration began in the United States for 19 and 20-
year-old men. 

1997 The U.S.S. Constitution, which defended the United States
during the War of 1812, set sail under its own power for the first
time in 116 years. 

1998 Chinese gymnast Sang Lan, 17, was paralyzed after a fall while
practicing for the women's vault competition at the Goodwill Games
in New York. Spinal surgery 4 days later failed to restore
sensation below her upper chest. 

2000 NBC announced that they had found nearly all of Milton Berle's
kinescopes. The filmed recordings of Berle's early TV shows had
been the subject of a $30 million lawsuit filed by Berle the
previous May. 

2002 WorldCom Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. At
the time it was the largest bankruptcy in U.S. history. 

2004 White House officials were briefed on the September 11
commission's final report. The 575-page report concluded that
hijackers exploited "deep institutional failings within our
government." The report was released to the public the next day. 

2007 The seventh and last book of the Harry Potter series, "Harry
Potter and the Deathly Hallows," was released. 

2011 In Florida, Space Shuttle Atlantis landed successfully at
Kennedy Space Center after completing STS-135. It was the final
flight of NASA's space shuttle program. 

2018  smiled.





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Selective screen capture 
Friday, July 20, 2018, 12:41 PM
Posted by Administrator
		







Good Morning, !
Today is Friday,  July 20
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thank you, Lisa!!

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Crook on Fentanyl gets jaw broken
after biting deputy
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 20 in
1944 An attempt by a group of German officers to assassinate Adolf
Hitler failed. The bomb exploded at Hitler's Rastenburg
headquarters. Hitler was only wounded. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



A motion to adjourn is always in order.
--- Robert Heinlein (1907 - 1988)

It is always easier to believe than to deny.
Our minds are naturally affirmative.
--- John Burroughs

Hillary is counting on that!
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a
sign saying, "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass
door.  Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on
the floor  besides the cash register.

He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed
to beware of?"

"Yep, that's him," he replied.

The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly
doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would
you post that sign?"

"Because," the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people
kept tripping over him and bashing out their front teef on the
counter."
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________
Many many years ago
 when I was twenty three,
 I got married to a widow
 who was pretty as could be.
 This widow had a grown-up daughter
 who had hair of red.
 My father fell in love with her,
 and soon the two were wed.
 This made my dad my son-in-law
 And changed my very life.
 My daughter was my mother,
 For she was my father's wife.
 To complicate the matters worse,
 Although it brought me joy,
 I soon became the father
 Of a bouncing baby boy.
 My little baby then became
 A brother-in-law to dad.
 And so became my uncle,
 Though it made me very sad.
 For if he was my uncle,
 Then that also made him brother
 To the widow's grown-up daughter
 Who, of course, was my step-mother.
 Father's wife then had a son,
 Who kept them on the run.
 And he became my grandson,
 For he was my daughter's son.
 My wife is now my mother's mother
 And it makes me blue.
 Because, although she is my wife,
 She is my grandma too.
 If my wife is my grandmother,
 Then I am her grandchild.
 And every time I think of it,
 It simply drives me wild.
 For now I have become
 The strangest case you ever saw.
 As the husband of my grandmother,
 I am my own grandpa.
___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

(Previous mug shot)
Maxwell Elder, 
20, 
St. Augustine,
Florida

Crook on Fentanyl gets jaw broken
after biting deputy

A St. Augustine man was arrested Tuesday after a scuffle with St.
Johns County deputies, leaving him with a broken jaw.

Maxwell Elder, 20, of St. Augustine, was arrested Tuesday and is
being charged with possession of narcotics, marijuana and drug
paraphernalia, resisting with violence and battery on a law
enforcement officer.

According to a St. Johns County offense report, police were called
by a neighbor who asked them to give Elder a trespass warning.

After the call, the report says Elder stole a $300 extension
ladder, but the neighbor did not want to press charges against
Elder. 

Once a deputy arrived to his home, he said he found Elder in the
driveway.

When the responding deputy asked if Elder knew why he was there,
Elder responded "Are you with me or against me?"

The deputy said he noticed Elder was holding a multi-colored glass
pipe with a baggie in his left hand.

The report says the deputy immediately secured Elder in handcuffs
and took away the suspected narcotics.

When the deputy was searching him, Elder told the deputy he had a
patch on his leg for bug bites, the report said.

According to the report, the deputy suspected it was a fentanyl
patch and called fire and rescue to respond to the scene.

An additional deputy arrived and, according to the report,
attempted to help the initial responder arrest Elder.

When the deputies tried to place Elder on the rear of a patrol
vehicle, Elder "became enraged for no apparent reason," banging his
head forcefully against the back window of the car, the report
said.

Deputies said Elder tried kicking one of them in the groin, so they
took him to the ground to prevent him from injuring himself.

That's when Elder bit one of the deputies, the report said. The
deputy stated, "Stop biting me."

The report said the deputy who was being bitten then attempted to
deliver a brachial stun and managed to get Elder to let go.

St. Johns County Fire Rescue informed the deputy that the patch was
fentanyl, the report said, and Elder was placed under arrest and
taken to Flagler Hospital for medical clearance.

Doctors told deputies that Elder sustained a broken jaw from the
incident, as well as a cut on the inside of his lip, stating it was
likely a result from the attempted brachial stun, according to the
report.



Tech Support Pits
From Fran
Re: Selective screen capture

Dear Webby,
I think you might have answered this before, but I can't
find it. How do I capture just the active window, not the
entire screen ?
Thanks
Fran

Dear Fran
Try ALT and the PrintScreen key.
Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.


By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every
hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room
somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care
where."

"Well, I do have a double room with one occupant - an Air
Force guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to
split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so
loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained.
I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you."

"No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it."

The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast
bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" asked the
manager.

"Never better."

The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other
guy snoring, then?"

"Nope, I shut him up in no time," said the Marine.

"How'd you manage that?" asked the manager.

"He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came into the
room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss
on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up
all night watching me."



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




The loaded mini-van pulled in to the only remaining
campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle
and began feverishly unloading gear and setting
up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood,
while the girls and their mother set up the camp
stove and cooking utensils.

A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters'
father, "That, sir, is some great display of teamwork."

The father replied, "I have a system: no one goes
to the bathroom until the camp is set up."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Lemonade Ice Cubes
 The next time you make lemonade, fill an ice cube tray with
it to make some lemonade ice cubes. As they melt, they won't
dilute your glass of lemonade. They are also good in iced tea!


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





23 Of History’s Most Infamous Objects And Where They Finally Ended Up

___________________________________________________

Thanks to Ross for this story:
While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass
by the beer, Wine, and liquor section. One asked the other
if she would like a beer.

The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice
to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable about
purchasing it.

The first nun replied that she would handle that without
a problem.

She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier.
The cashier had a surprised look so the nun said,
"This is for washing our hair."

Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the
counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag
with the beer saying,

"Here, don't forget the curlers."
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


SHOPPING MATH
 A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
 A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

 GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
 A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
 A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
 A successful man is one who makes more money than his
          wife can spend.
 A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
____________________________________________________



Today, July 20 in
1801 A 1,235 pound cheese ball was pressed at the farm of Elisha
Brown, Jr. The ball of cheese was later loaded on a horse-driven
wagon and presented to U.S. President Thomas Jefferson at the White
House. 

1810 Colombia declared independence from Spain. 

1868 Legislation that ordered U.S. tax stamps to be placed on all
cigarette packs was passed. 

1871 British Columbia joined Confederation as a Canadian province. 

1881 Sioux Indian leader Sitting Bull, a fugitive since the Battle
of the Little Big Horn, surrendered to federal troops.

1917 The draft lottery in World War I went into operation. 

1935 NBC radio debuted "G-men." The show was later renamed
"Gangbusters." 

1942 The first detachment of the Women's Army Auxiliary Corps,
(WACS) began basic training at Fort Des Moines, Iowa. 

1944 An attempt by a group of German officers to assassinate Adolf
Hitler failed. The bomb exploded at Hitler's Rastenburg
headquarters. Hitler was only wounded. 

1944 U.S. President Roosevelt was nominated for an unprecedented
fourth term of office at the Democratic National Convention in
Chicago. 

1961 "Stop the World, I Want to Get Off" opened in London. 

1969 Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin E. Aldrin, Jr.
became the first men to walk on the moon. 

1974 Turkish forces invaded Cyprus. 

1976 America's Viking I robot spacecraft made a successful landing
on Mars. 

1982 U.S. President Ronald Reagan pulled the U.S. out of
comprehensive test ban negotiations indefinitely. 

1985 Treasure hunters began raising $400 million in coins and
silver from the Spanish galleon "Nuestra Senora de Atocha." The
ship sank in 1622 40 miles of the coast of Key West, FL. 

1992 Vaclav Havel, the playwright who led the Velvet Revolution
against communism, stepped down as president of Czechoslovakia. 

1998 Russia won a $11.2 billion loan from the International
Monetary Fund to help avert the devaluation of its currency. 

2003 In India, elephants used for commercial work began wearing
reflectors to avoid being hit by cars during night work.

2018  smiled.





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Intermittent monitor problems 
Thursday, July 19, 2018, 10:10 AM
Posted by Administrator
		







Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, July 19

Had the first raspberries today!
Yeah, I know, in the lowlands they have ripened a long
time ago, but here in the foothills of the Rockies they
finally ripened now. There are going to be lots this year!

Thank you, Claude!

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Police recognize man fleeing on stolen 
motorcycle, wait for him at his house
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 19 in
1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca Fall, NY.
Bloomers were introduced at the convention. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant
angle, is a deep delight of the blood.
--- George Santayana (1863 - 1952) 

It is no good to try to stop knowledge from going forward.
Ignorance is never better than knowledge.
--- Enrico Fermi (1901 - 1954)

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary
from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder
a black eye.
--- Miss Piggy
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was inter-
viewing a prospective student, "Why have you chosen this
career?" he asked.

"I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my
father," the student replied.

"Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the
dean much impressed.

"No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it."
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

Two highway patrolmen stopped a guy for speeding on the
state highway in Waxahachie, Texas. As they were writing
up the ticket, one cop turned to the other and said,
"How do you spell Waxahachie?"

The other one replied, "I don't know."

So the first one said, "Well what are we gong to do?
If we spell it wrong, the ticket will get dismissed."

The second cop said, "Why don't we just let him go and stop
him again when he gets to Waco?"
___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Brandon Briggs,
38,
West Jordan,
Utah

Police recognize man fleeing on stolen 
motorcycle, wait for him at his house

Police recognize man fleeing from them on stolen motorcycle, dump
out of the chase and wait for him at his house to make arrest.

A West Jordan man is facing charges after fleeing from police on a
stolen motorcycle during a traffic stop for what police said was a
“simple traffic violation.”

West Jordan Police said they made the stop around eight o’clock
Saturday night near 7000 S. Redwood Road, the motorcyclist quickly
took off.

However, officers decided not to follow the man, because they
recognized him. Instead officers went to 38-year-old Brandon
Briggs’ home and waiting for him to return.

About an hour after the stop police said Briggs showed up at his
house and was taken into custody without incident.

Police later found out that the motorcycle had been stolen. The
bike was found crashed nearby, it is unclear if Briggs caused the
crash.

Briggs has been charged with possession of a stolen vehicle,
failure to stop at the command of an officer and violation of
parole or probation.



Tech Support Pits
From: Beverly
Re: Erratic monitor

Dear Webby,
Dear Webby,
Your hunor letter and my first cup of coffee make my morning.
I have an older computer and I'm on a fixed income and can't
afford a new one. What's happening is that everything is
spread out beyond the sides of the screen. Sometimes it
jumps back to normal. Is there anything that can be done?
Thank you, Bev.
Compaq

Dear Beverly
That sounds like a monitor that needs what we techs call
"Percussive Maintenance".
You whack the monitor a good slap with your hand. Then it
will usually behave for a while. However, it's definitely destined
for a one way trip to the recycling depot.

1) Turn the couch upside down and shake out the lost coins
to start your monitor replacement fund.
2) Do a spring cleaning and sell a bunch of stuff on ebay.
3) Select a monitor that fits your desk and budget. A good
source is http://pricegrabber.com

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.


A 92 year old man went to the doctor to get a physical. A few
days later, the doctor saw the man walking down the street with
a gorgeous young lady on his arm.

At his follow up visit, the doctor talked to the man and said,
"You're really doing great, aren't you?"

The man replied, "Just doing what you said Doc:
'Get a hot mamma  and be cheerful.'"

The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said you got a heart
murmur. Be careful."

"Too late!", he replied, "We are getting married next month!"



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Wacky laws:
Louisiana:
It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the
bank teller with a water pistol.

Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple
assault," while biting someone with your false
teeth is "aggravated assault."

New Mexico:
Females are strictly forbidden to appear
unshaven in public.

Oklahoma:
Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for
making ugly faces at a dog.

Pennsylvania:
No man may purchase alcohol without written
consent from his wife.

A special cleaning ordinance bans housewives
from hiding dirt and dust under a rug in a dwelling.
(That ordinance was passed after some floors collapsed onto
the tenants on the floor below from the weight of the dirt under
the rugs.)

Washington:
All lollipops are banned.

A law to reduce crime states: "It is mandatory for
a motorist with criminal intentions to stop at the
city limits and telephone the chief of police as he
is entering the town.
(That is why senators use chauffeurs)
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Putting Out Oven Fires
Keep salt or baking soda close at hand to throw on oven
fires in the bottom of your oven. Once the oven has cooled,
it will aid in cleaning up the spill that caused the fire.

The same applies for stove-top and barbecue.
You can also use sand, dirt from a potted plant,
ANYTHING EXCEPT WATER! Never use water on a grease
fire. Water will turn the oil or grease into a napalm like
substance and spaltter it all over. It turns one little fire
into many big ones instantly.

Most people have an open box of baking soda in the fridge
and cupboard to absorb odors. Know where yours is, in case
you have to quickly grab it.


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





People Are Awesome Presents: Tosca Rivola-Cyr Wheel

___________________________________________________

A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears.

"Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grand-mother's meatloaf for dinner
tonight and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly,
and I know I have the recipe right, because it's the one
you gave me. But, it just didn't come out right and I'm so
upset. I wanted this to be so special for George, because
he loves meatloaf. What could have gone wrong"?

Her mother replied soothing-ly, "Well, dear, let's go through
the recipe. You read it out loud, and tell me exactly what
you did at each step and to-gether we'll figure it out."

"Okay," the bride sniffled. "Well, it starts out,
'Take fifty cents worth of ground beef.'
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

One day a man called the church office. He said,
"Can I speak to the head hog at the trough?"

The secretary thought she heard what he said, but said,
"I'm sorry, who?"

The caller repeated, "Can I speak to the head hog at the
trough?"

She said, "Well, if you mean the preacher, then you may
refer to him as 'Pastor,' or 'Brother,' but I prefer that you
not refer to him as the 'head hog at the trough'!"

To this the man replied, "Well, I was planning on giving
$100,000 to the building fund...."

To this the secretary quickly responded
"Hang on, I think the big fat pig just waddled in!"
____________________________________________________



Today, July 19 in
1525 The Catholic princes of Germany formed the Dessau League to
fight against the Reformation. 

1553 Fifteen-year-old Lady Jane Grey was deposed as Queen of
England after claiming the crown for nine days. Mary, the daughter
of King Henry VIII, was proclaimed Queen. 

1788 Prices plunged on the Paris stock market. 

1799 The Rosetta Stone, a tablet with hieroglyphic translations
into Greek, was found in Egypt. 

1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca Fall, NY.
Bloomers were introduced at the convention. 

1870 France declared war on Prussia. 

1939 Dr. Roy P. Scholz became the first surgeon to use fiberglass
sutures. 

1942 German U-boats were withdrawn from positions off the U.S.
Atlantic coast due to effective American anti-submarine
countermeasures. 

1943 During World War II, more than 150 B-17 and 112 B-24 bombers
attacked Rome for the first time. 

1946 Marilyn Monroe acted in her first screen test. 

1971 In New York, the topping out ceremony for Two World Trade
Center (South Tower) took place. The ceremony for One World Trade
Center had taken place on December 23, 1970. 

1974 The House Judiciary Committee recommended that U.S. President
Richard Nixon should stand trial in the Senate for any of the five
impeachment charges against him. 

1975 The Apollo and Soyuz spacecrafts separated after being linked
in orbit for two days. 

1979 In Nicaragua, the dictatorship of the Somozas was overthrown
by the Sandinista National Liberation Front (Frente Sandinista de
Liberación Nacional or FSLN). 

1982 The U.S. Census Bureau reported that 14% of the population had
an income below the official poverty level in 1981. 

1985 George Bell won first place in a biggest feet contest with a
shoe size of 28-1/2. Bell, at age 26, stood 7 feet 10 inches tall. 

1985 Christa McAuliffe of New Hampshire was chosen to be the first
schoolteacher to ride aboard the space shuttle. She died with six
others when the Challenger exploded the following year. 

2018  smiled.





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Favorite camera brands 
Wednesday, July 18, 2018, 04:01 PM
Posted by Administrator
		







Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, July 18

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Driver told cops he only drank at stop signs
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 18 in
0064 The Great Fire of Rome began.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



Nothing you can't spell will ever work.
--- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A young man said to his girlfriend's father, "I realize that this
is only a formality, but would you mind me marrying your
daughter?"

"Who says it's ONLY A FORMALITY?" roared the father angrily.

"Her obstetrician and her lawyer!" replied the young man.
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

Thanks to Sandie for this story:
A FARM WAS SOLD to some city folks. The old farmer next
door was out one day and saw the new neighbor planting in
his garden. The farmer watched as the man would dig a
hole, set a tomato plant and pour in a shot of whiskey.
The farmer couldn’t help but ask what he was planting.

“Stewed tomatoes,” was the reply.
___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Earle Gustavas Stevens, 
69, 
Vero Beach,
Florida

Driver told cops he only drank at stop signs

An inebriated motorist assured Florida police that he was not
drinking while driving, but only swigging from a bottle of Jim Beam
bourbon when his  vehicle paused at stop signs and traffic
signals, according to a police report.

Earle Gustavas Stevens, 69, was arrested for driving his Mercury
Grand Marquis while under the influence. The Vero Beach resident,
now free on $1500 bond in advance of a July 31 arraignment, was
nabbed after a driver called 911 to report that Stevens’s car
repeatedly tapped her bumper while they were in a McDonald’s drive-
thru lane.

When a sheriff’s deputy contacted Stevens, he reeked of alcohol,
was slurring his words, and had ”red and glossy” eyes. On the
Mercury’s passenger seat was a bottle of Jim Beam, from which
Stevens admitted he had been drinking.

Asked if he was drinking in the auto, Stevens replied, “No.” He
then explained he was enjoying the bourbon at “Stop signs.” The
deputy further noted Stevens’s distinction when it came to drinking
while driving: “He further explained that he was not drinking
while
the car was moving and only when he stopped for stop signs and
traffic signals.”

It was their fault for having so many stop signs.

Stevens was arrested after failing a series of field sobriety
tests, as first reported by Will Greenlee of Treasure Coast
Newspapers. A breath test recorded Stevens’s blood alcohol content
at nearly twice the legal limit.

In addition to a drunk driving charge, Stevens was cited for
driving without a license. Stevens, seen above, reportedly told
cops that he had two “prior DUI charges from Missouri.”



Tech Support Pits
From: David
Re: Which digital camera is best?

Dear Webby,
Which digital camera is best? And which parts of them
are the most important criteria? What is better, Canon
or Nikon?
David

Dear David
The most important criteria is your budget.
If you get too close to the limit of it, the best camera is
always not going to be quite good enough.

Second most important is lens size. The larger the lens, the
more light the chip has to work with.

Third is the electronics, especially how the camera interpretes
the analog signals into digital. Canon and Nikon are best there,
with the rest of them seemingly a class or more below.
Fourth is Optical Zoom. Forget digital zoom, that's just
cropping the picture, enlarging it digitally and making it coarse.

Forget about the number of Megapixels. That number is usually
just a number picked by an advertising editor and in the small
print they admit that it is "equivalent to so many Megapixels".
3 Megapixels are fine, but at around 5 you start wasting space
on the memory chip and get into problems with working on the
pictures in full size. How much free and available RAM do you
have on your computer? There is no point in paying for 12 or
more megapixels and then having to set the camera to take
pictures at 1600x1200, ( 1.9 Megapixels ).

More pixels don't extend you reach into the dark at all. It's
the same amount of light split into more real and calculated
pixels. I am a purist and don't use flash. It makes pictures
flat. I found that I can reach much farther into the dark with an
ancient Canon with a big lens.

Canon versus Nikon is a religious question. They are both so
good, that the skill of the photographer makes a much bigger
difference than the brand. Each has it's own distinct
peculiarities, that you can take advantage of, once you get
familiar with your camera. But the differences are not big
enough that anybody would buy one of each.

Remeber the differences in film in the old days? Kodak had a warm
tint, Fuji and Agfa a colder tint. For camp fire parties you used
kodak, for fishing you used Agfa or Fuji. 
Canon has a warmer tint, Nikon a colder tint.
It is easy enough to adust that on the computer. 

Personally, I prefer the warmer Canon interpretation. 

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.


Thanks to Dianne for this fishy story:
Fred Green, an avid fisherman is returning from a fishing trip with
six large size salmon in his creel.

Nosy Parker comes along and asks if the man been fishing.
"Yes!" replied old Fred.

Asked what bait he had been using our hero replied that he
had used chewing tobacco.

Parker asked how one used chewing tobacco as bait, and the
fisherman replied, "I put the tobacco on the hook in the normal
way, cast in the normal way and when the fish strikes I haul back
on the line to hook it.

When the fish comes up to spit, I hit it on the head with
the butt of my rod! 



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Thanks to Sandie for this story:
I had purchased a talking metronome while I was attending
a conference in New York for music teachers. Before my
son and I boarded our flight home, I hefted my carry-on bag
onto the security check conveyor belt. The guard's eyes
widened as he watched the monitor. He asked what I had
in the bag, then slowly pulled out the six-by-three-inch black
box covered with dials and switches.
Other travelers, sensing trouble, vacated the area.

"A metronome," I replied weakly, as my son cringed in
embarrassment. "It's a talking metronome," I insisted.
"Look, I'll show you."

I took the box and flipped a switch, realizing that I had no
idea how it worked. "One, two, three, four," it said.
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
As we gathered our belongings, my son whispered,
"Aren't you glad it didn't go 'four, three, two, one'"?

____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Flour Tortilla Noodles
Cut flour tortillas into strips with a pizza cutter. Use
them instead of noodles when you make "Chicken and
Noodles". Nobody will ever guess that they aren't
"Homemade Noodles". By Harlean


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





World Body-painting Festival 2018 in Austria
___________________________________________________

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair,
where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place.
Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she would write notes
when she needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning
off to the right, so some family members grabbed her,
straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so
again the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.

Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members
again grabbed her, then tied a pillowcase around her waist
to hold her up.

A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said,
"Hi, Grandma, you're Looking good! How are they treating
you?"

Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note
to the nephew: "Dumb Bastids won't let me fart!"

___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


Thanks to Harry for this story:
When I picked up my wife from work one afternoon, she seemed
irritated. She confessed that the day hadn't gone well, and
on top of everything else, a young customer had addressed her
as "ma'am."

"I'm not that old," she insisted. "I deserve more respect!"
She vented the whole way home while hitting the scan button
on the radio.

Finally I asked, "What are you looking for?"

She replied, "The oldies station."

____________________________________________________



Today, July 18 in
0064 The Great Fire of Rome began. 

1536 The authority of the pope was declared void in England. 

1789 Robespierre, a deputy from Arras, France, decided to back the
French Revolution. 

1812 Great Britain signed the Treaty of Orebro, making peace with
Russia and Sweden. 

1830 Uruguay adopted a liberal constitution. 

1872 The Ballot Act was passed in Great Britain, providing for
secret election ballots. 

1914 Six planes of the U.S. Army helped to form an aviation
division called the Signal Corps. 

1932 The U.S. and Canada signed a treaty to develop the St.
Lawrence Seaway. 

1935 Ethiopian King Haile Selassie urged his countrymen to fight to
the last man against the invading Italian army. 

1936 The first Oscar Meyer Wienermobile rolled out of General Body
Company’s factory in Chicago, IL. 

1936 The Spanish Civil War began as Gen. Francisco Franco led an
uprising of army troops based in Spanish North Africa. 

1942 The German Me-262, the first jet-propelled aircraft to fly in
combat, made its first flight. 

1944 U.S. troops captured Saint-Lo, France, ending the battle of
the hedgerows. 

1944 Hideki Tojo was removed as Japanese premier and war minister
due to setbacks suffered by his country in World War II. 

1971 New Zealands and Australias troops got chased out of of
Vietnam. 

2001 A train derailed, involving 60 cars, in a Baltimore train
tunnel. The fire that resulted lasted for six days and virtually
closed down downtown Baltimore for several days.

2015 The Ebay spin-off of PayPal into a separate publicly traded
company was completed. 

2018  smiled.




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Computer positioning 
Tuesday, July 17, 2018, 09:12 AM
Posted by Administrator
		








Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, July 17

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
San Diego chainsaw attacker is illegal 
alien who has been deported 11 times
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 17 in
1821 Spain ceded Florida to the U.S. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



If living conditions don't stop improving in this country, 
we're going to run out of humble beginnings for our great men.
--- Russell P. Askue  

The skill of writing is to create a context 
in which other people can think.
--- Edwin Schlossberg
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________
Thanks to Sandie for this story:
A SOUTHERNER vacationing in Maine stopped at a small convenience
store to buy some souvenirs. As he stood in line to pay for his
purchases, the southerner was amused by the accent of some
local lobster fishermen, who were in the store discussing the
day’s catch.

Stepping up to the cash register, the tourist commented to
the clerk, “Some people around here sure talk with funny
accents.” 

“Aye-yuh,” the clerk replied, “but thay’ll all be gone by
Labur Day.”
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

From Dad


_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

GOD:
Frank , you know all about gardens and nature.  What in the
world is going on down there on the planet?  What happened
to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago?
I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants
grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with
abandon.  The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts
butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds.  I expected
to see a vast garden of colours by now.  But, all I see are
these green rectangles.

Saint FRANCIS:
It's the tribes that settled there, Lord.  The Suburbanites.
They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great
lengths to kill them and replace them with  grass.

GOD:
Grass?  But, it's so boring.  It's not colourful.  It doesn't
attract butterflies, birds and bees;  only grubs and sod
worms.  It's sensitive to temperatures.  Do these Suburbanites
really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS :
Apparently so, Lord.  They go to great pains to grow it and
keep it green.  They begin each spring by fertilizing grass
and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD:
The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass
grow really fast.  That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST.   FRANCIS :
Apparently not, Lord.  As soon as it grows a little, they cut it
--sometimes twice a week.

GOD:
They cut it?  Do they then bail it like hay?

ST.   FRANCIS :
Not exactly, Lord.  Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD:
They bag it?  Why?  Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS :
No, Sir, just the opposite.  They pay to throw it away.

GOD:
Now, let me get this straight.  They fertilize grass so it will
grow.  And, when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to
throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS :
Yes, Sir.

GOD:
These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when
we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat.  That surely
slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS:
You aren't going to believe this, Lord.  When the grass stops
growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money
to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

GOD:
What nonsense.  At least they kept some of the trees.  That
was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself.  The trees
grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the
summer.  In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a
natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the
trees and bushes. It's a natural cycle of life.

ST. FRANCIS:
You better sit down, Lord.  The Suburbanites have drawn a
new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into
great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD:
No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in
the  winter to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS:
After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something
which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around
in place of the leaves.

GOD:
And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS:
They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD:
Enough!   I don't want to think about this anymore.
St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts.  What movie have
you scheduled for us tonight?

ST. CATHERINE:
"Dumb and Dumber", Lord.  It's a story about....

GOD:
Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.
___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Alejandro Alvarez Villegas, 
32, 
Chula Vista,
California

San Diego chainsaw attacker is illegal 
alien who has been deported 11 times

A California man who attacked his wife with a chainsaw is an
illegal alien who has been deported at least 11 times since 2005,
immigration officials confirmed Friday

Alvarez has a long record of being deported and returning to the
U.S., according to Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE).

“Department of Homeland Security databases indicate Mr. Alvarez-
Villegas is a serial immigration violator who has been removed from
the United States at least 11 times since 2005,” an ICE
spokesperson said, according to NBC7 News in San Diego.

The incident began Wednesday, when police in the Los Angeles suburb
of Whittier responded to a domestic violence call and found
Alvarez’s wife inside their home with chest wounds caused by a
chainsaw. The next day, Chula Vista police pulled over Alvarez in
an SUV, that had been reported stolen in Los Angeles.

Alvarez allegedly tried to ram a police car during the traffic
stop, but officers were able to arrest him without any injuries,
Chula Vista Police Lt. Kenny Heinz said, according to NBC7.

Rumors that he is claiming sanctuary and will be running on the
Democratic ticket for governor of Mexifornia have not been
confirmed yet.



Tech Support Pits
From: Angela
Re: Computer positioning

Dear Webby,
I have a question about the CPU unit of my desk top.   I am
rearranging my work/study area and was wondering if it is
safe to lay the CPU down on its side and set my printer on
top of it gain more space on my computer desk.  I do not
want to place it on the floor because I have too many animals
living in my house and do not fully trust them all to behave
with it on the floor.
Angela

Dear Angela
The CPU doesn't care, and the hard drives don't care as
long as you don't put it with the front side up.

The most important consideration is good air flow behind it.
Don't shove it into a desk hutch cubbyhole, no matter which
way you turn it. Laying flat, with the removable side cover
side up, is just fine.

That is actually better than standing upright on the floor,
where the main air intake at the front bottom sucks in all
the dust bunnies and pet hairs off the floor and drastically
reduces cooling. Yes, I know it's stupid, but they don't want
computers to last forever.

Try to lay it flat on the left rear corner of your desk, with the
former bottom pointing away from you. That way it sucks
fresh air from the left of the desk. Especially n summer,
cooling of the computer is very important. While you are
moving it, pop the side cover open and vacuum it out.
If you are scared of large herds of dust bunnies, get
somebody else to do it, but don't neglect that chore!

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

As I drove into a parking lot, I noticed that a pickup truck 
with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling toward a 
female pedestrian.

She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. 
She looked up just in time to jump out of the way of the 
truck's path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the
curb and stopped.

I rushed to the woman's side to see if she was all right.

"I'm fine," she assured me, "but I hate to think what could
have happened to me if that dog hadn't honked."



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Thanks to Kati for this story:
Bill and Sam, two elderly friends, met in the park every day
to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world
problems. One day Bill didn't show up. Sam didn't think
much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.
But after Bill hadn't shown up for a week or so, Sam really
got worried.

However, since the only time they ever got together was at
the park, Sam didn't know where Bill lived, so he was unable
to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last
of Bill, but one day, Sam approached the park and -- lo and
behold! --there sat Bill!

Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.
Then he said, "For crying out loud Bill, what in the world
happened to you?"

Bill replied, "I have been in jail."

"Jail?" cried Sam. "What in the world for?"

"Well," Bill said, "you know Sue, that cute little blonde
waitress at the coffee shop where I sometime go?"

"Yeah," said Sam, "I remember her. What about her?"

"Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and,
at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court,
I pleaded 'guilty'
and the judge gave me 30 days for perjury."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
A Mail Box for Garden Tools
A handy place to store pruning shears and small garden tools
is in an old mail box. Place the mail box on a post in a
convenient spot in your yard and place the small tools
that you use regularly in it. Paint the mail box and it can
be quite attractive.


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





America's forgotten pin-up girl.
___________________________________________________

>From Guzalia
Today, my 14 year old son was giving dating tips to our neighbor.
He said: "Don't give up. All the pretty ones may be married, but
all the smart ones are already divorced."
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


>From Stormy
Hanging wall paper is  messy  work. I was
struggling to hold a long wet piece of paper in
place, when it slipped out of my grasp.  My cat
and dog just happened to be sitting underneath
the ladder. The long  gooey thing landed
right on them. The startled critters leaped up,
crashed into the wall, getting really tangled
together. From the barking and hissing, I could
tell they were each blaming the other. Stuck
together inside the paper,  they crashed
across the room, thumped over  the doorstep,
out the open door to tumble across the lawn. The
harder they tried to separate, the tighter the
paper stuck to their fur.

A group of young kids were passing by on
their  way home from school. They stared at
the  noisy antics of my unfortunate pets. Two
little boys helped me untangle the poor animals.
They talked to each other for a moment, then
started to giggle. "Hey lady, can we have a
piece of this stuff?"  I asked why, telling them
it had to be wet and put on a wall. "That's okay,
we can put water on it." 

I suggested that their parents might not like them 
sticking it to a wall,"  
Then I added, "You  aren't thinking
of putting this on your dog or cat are you?"

The giggling turned up a notch. "No, we
want to throw it on our sister when she's
kissing her boyfriend in the living room!"
____________________________________________________



Today, July 17 in
1212 The Moslems were crushed in the Spanish crusade. 

1453 France defeated England at Castillon, France, which ended the
100 Years' War. 

1785 France limited the importation of goods from Britain. 

1815 Napoleon Bonaparte surrendered to the British at Rochefort,
France. 

1821 Spain ceded Florida to the U.S. 

1862 National cemeteries were authorized by the U.S. government. 

1866 Authorization was given to build a tunnel beneath the Chicago
River. The three-year project cost $512,709. 

1867 Harvard School of Dental Medicine was established in Boston,
MA. It was the first dental school in the U.S. 

1898 U.S. troops under General William R. Shafter took Santiago de
Cuba during the Spanish-American War. 

1917 The British royal family adopted the Windsor name to replace
their German names. 

1941 Brigadier General Soervell directed Architect G. Edwin
Bergstrom to have basic plans and architectural perspectives for an
office building that could house 40,000 War Department employees on
his desk by the following Monday morning. The building became known
as the Pentagon. 

1945 U.S. President Truman, Soviet leader Josef Stalin and British
Prime Minister Winston S. Churchill began meeting at Potsdam in the
final Allied summit of World War II. During the meeting Stalin made
the comment that "Hitler had escaped." 

1946 Chinese communists opened a drive against the Nationalist army
on the Yangtze River. 

1960 Francis Gary Powers pled guilty to spying charges in a Moscow
court after his U-2 spy plane was shot down over the Soviet Union. 

1966 Ho Chi Minh ordered a partial mobilization of North Vietnam
forces to defend against American air strikes. 

1975 An Apollo spaceship docked with a Soyuz spacecraft in orbit.
It was the first link up between the U.S. and Soviet Union. 

1979 Nicaraguan President Anastasio Somoza resigned and fled to
Miami in exile. (Florida) 

1986 The largest bankruptcy filing in U.S. history took place when
LTV Corporation asked for court protection from more than 20,000
creditors. LTV Corp. had debts in excess of $4 billion. 

1987 Lieutenant Colonel Oliver North and rear Admiral John
Poindexter begin testifying to Congress at the "Iran-Contra"
hearings. 

1997 After 117 years, the Woolworth Corp. closed its last 400
stores. 

1998 Biologists reported that they had deciphered the genome
(genetic map) of the syphilis bacterium. 

2008 In China, construction of the Shanghai World Financial Center
was completed. 

2018  smiled.




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How to make a free screen saver 
Monday, July 16, 2018, 08:18 AM
Posted by Administrator
		







Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, July 16

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Woman charged with attempted murder for 
beating 92-year-old man with brick
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 16 in
1969 Apollo 11 blasted off from Cape Kennedy, FL, 
and began the first manned mission to land on the moon.  
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



Every crowd has a silver lining.
--- Phineas Taylor Barnum (1810 - 1891) 

To predict the behavior of ordinary people in advance, you only
have to assume that they will always try to escape a disagreeable
situation with the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence.
--- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)

99% of the failures come from people who have the 
habit of making excuses.
--- George Washington Carver
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Riddle answer: YOU are the driver.

From AmberRose:
I passed it on to several friends. Would you believe -
none of them got the right answer?
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

The following are copies of ACTUAL written statements
submitted to the police on report forms. (Or at least
they claim to be ACTUAL statements. You be the judge.)
The drivers were instructed to give a brief statement
on the particulars of the accident in their own words.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided
with a tree I don't know.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my
Mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He
then went to rest in the bush with just his rear end
showing.

In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone
pole.

I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell
asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle
and vanished.

The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I
ran over him.

I saw the slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he
bounced off the hood of my car.

The guy was all over the road, I had to swerve a number
of times before I hit him.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I
struck the pedestrian.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the
other side of the roadway when I struck him.

My girlfriend kissed me. I lost control and woke up in
the hospital.

When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on
the gas and crashed into the other car.

As I approached the intersection, a stop sign suddenly
appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever
appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid
the accident.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in
a small car with a big mouth.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other
way.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on
removing my hat, I found that I had fractured my skull.

I thought I could squeeze between two trucks when my
car became squashed.
___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Laquisha Jones,
30,
Los Angeles,
California

Woman charged with attempted murder for 
beating 92-year-old man with brick

Laquisha has been arrested five additional times in the past, with
a prostitution conviction. This is her sixth arrest.

 She Shouted Racist Statements at Him & Told Him to ‘Go Back to
Mexico,’ Witnesses Say. According to the witness, who asked that
she not be named, Jones repeatedly screamed a series of racist
statements at Rodriguez while beating him, the Los Angeles Times
reports.

Laquisha, accused of severely injuring a 92-year-old man with a
brick is now facing charges of attempted murder and elder abuse,
prosecutors said.

Laquisha Jones, 30, allegedly attacked the elderly man with a brick
south of Los Angeles on July 4, the Los Angeles County District
Attorney’s Office said.

A "woman pushed him and dropped him," a witness told ABC station
KABC-TV in Los Angeles. "She took the block of concrete and hit him
in his head many times."

Jones, who prosecutors said fled the scene after seeing that
somebody was recording her assault, was arrested Tuesday and
initially faced the charge of assault with a deadly weapon. The
district attorney's office announced the attempted murder and elder
abuse charges on Thursday.

“I heard her saying, go back to your country, go back to Mexico,”
Borjas told CNN. “When I tried to videotape her with my cell phone,
she threw that same concrete block, tried to hit my car.”

Despite Jones allegedly telling Rodriguez to go back to his country
(he is of Mexican descent, but is a legal U.S. resident), LASD has
determined that the attack on Rodriguez “is not a hate-related
incident,” the department wrote in a statement.

The 92-year-old was hospitalized after the assault in Willowbrook. 
According to his family, Rodriguez suffered two broken ribs, a
broken jaw, broken cheekbones, and bruising throughout his face and
body. He is still recovering from his injuries.



Tech Support Pits
From: Taurus
Re: Making screen Savers

Dear Webby,
As I have told you many times, I love your Dad's pictures of
his cacti. I would like to make them in to screen savers,
but my senior mind has forgot how. Can you help me?
I have learned many things from your computer tips and
enjoy the letter immensely. I like the links you have on left
side as they remind me to click on them & feed the poor,
animals, and the breast cancer sight. You do lots of good
for so many.
Many thanks,
Taurus.

Dear Taurus
The easiest way to make a screensaver is this:
Use the Windows File Explorer to find your "My Pictures" folder.
Make a new folder inside that and call it Archive
Switch the File Explorer to Thumbnail view,
Click on Folders, so that it shows the folders on the left side.
(This works much better in Classical mode)
Drag all pictures that you don't want included in your
     screen saver into the "Archive" folder.
Save any new pictures, that you want included, into the
    "My Pictures" folder.
Right-click on the desktop, Properties, Appearance, Screensaver
Select "My Pictures"
Set the delay time, and hit OK a bunch of times.
From then on you will have a slide show of the pictures in
"My Pictures" as a screen saver.

If you want to make screen savers to send to friends,
pick one from
http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q ... &meta=

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

Riddle answer: Look in the mirror! YOU are the driver.



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




I love to read those advice columns in the newspaper.  I saw
one where they ask what is the worst thing you could receive
on your twenty fifth wedding anniversary?"

You know what the answer was?  "Morning Sickness."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Easily Clean Garden Tools
Spray your garden tools with a little cooking oil or
WD-40 and they will be very easy to clean when you are
done gardening. You can then rinse them off with water.
Make sure to recoat when needed.


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





Georgia USA's Little Grand Canyon
___________________________________________________

A minister was planning a wedding at the close of the Sunday
morning service.

After the benediction he had planned to call the couple down to be
married for a brief ceremony before the congregation.

For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who
were to be married.

"Will those wanting to get married please come to the front?" he
requested.

Immediately, nine single ladies, seven widows, four widowers, and
three single men stepped to the front.
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office
worker asked her, "How many children do you have?"

"Ten," she replied.

"What are their names?" he asked.

"LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy, LeRoy,
LeRoy, and LeRoy," she answered.

"They're all named LeRoy?" he asked  "What if you want them to
come in from playing outside?"

"Oh, that's easy," she said. "I just call 'LeRoy,' and they all
come running in."

"And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?"

"I just say, 'LeRoy, come eat your dinner'," she answered.

"But what if you just want ONE of them to do something?" he
asked.

"Oh, that's easy," she said. "Then I just use their last name!"

____________________________________________________



Today, July 16 in
1774 Russia and the Ottoman Empire signed the treaty of Kuchuk-
Kainardji, ending their six-year war. 

1779 American troops under General Anthony Wayne captured Stony
Point, NY. 

1790 The District of Columbia, or Washington, DC, was established
as the permanent seat of the United States Government. 

1791 Louis XVI was suspended from office until he agreed to ratify
the constitution. 

1845 The New York Yacht Club hosted the first American boating
regatta. 

1875 The new French constitution was finalized. 

1912 Bradley A. Fiske patented the airplane torpedo. 

1926 The first underwater color photographs appeared in "National
Geographic" magazine. The pictures had been taken near the Florida
Keys. 

1935 Oklahoma City became the first city in the U.S. to install
parking meters. 

1940 Adolf Hitler ordered the preparations to begin on the invasion
of England, known as Operation Sea Lion. England had used to
annexation of the southern part of Poland as reason to start WWII,
but up to that point had ought only outside of England.

1942 French police officers rounded up 13,000 Jews and held them in
the Winter Velodrome. The round-up was part of an agreement between
Pierre Laval and the Nazis. Germany had agreed to not deport French
Jews if France arrested foreign Jews. 

1944 Soviet troops occupied Vilna, Lithuania, in their drive toward
Germany. 

1945 The United States detonated the first atomic bomb in a test at
Alamogordo, NM. 

1950 The largest crowd in sporting history was 199,854. They
watched Uruguay defeat Brazil in the World Cup soccer finals in Rio
de Janeiro, Brazil. 

1951 J.D. Salinger's novel "The Catcher in the Rye" was first
published. 

1957 Marine Major John Glenn set a transcontinental speed record
when he flew a jet from California to New York in 3 hours, 23
minutes and 8 seconds. 

1969 Apollo 11 blasted off from Cape Kennedy, FL, and began the
first manned mission to land on the moon. 

1973 Alexander P. Butterfield informed the Senate committee
investigating the Watergate affair of the existence of recorded
tapes. 

1979 Saddam Hussein became president of Iraq after forcing Hasan
al-Bakr to resign. 

1981 After 23 years with the name Datsun, executives of Nissan
changed the name of their cars to Nissan. 

2005 J.K. Rowling's book "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince"
was released. It was the sixth in the Harry Potter series. The book
sold 6.9 million copies on its first day of release. 

2009 In Chicago, Sears Tower was renamed Willis Tower. Sears left
after 9/11, expecting a similar attack, because Arabs claim that
Sears is owned by Jews.

2011 The NASA space probe Dawn entered Vesta orbit. 

2018  smiled.





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Alternating high speed providers 
Thursday, July 12, 2018, 10:32 AM
Posted by Administrator
		







Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, July 12

By the time y9u read this, I will be on my way to Calgary for
Lucentis injections into my eyeballs.
That means no Humor letter on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida man pistol-whipped, raped and 
robbed a 62-year-old. He is in jail now.
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 12 in
1870 The first rotary can opener with a cutting wheel was patented
by William W. Lyman.  
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure.
--- Samuel Johnson (1709 1784) 

With or without religion, you would have good people doing
good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good
people to do evil things, that takes religion.
--- Steven Weinberg
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. 
"How do you know what to say?" he asked.

"God tells me."

"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________




_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

In the admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling
out forms, others were being interviewed and still others were
being escorted to their rooms.

An elderly woman hesitatnly entered my cubicle.  She had completed
her admitting forms and, upon my request, handed me her insurance
cards.  I typed the neccessary information and then asked her the
reason for her coming to the hospital.

"Just to visit a friend," she said, "but this had taken so long,
I'm not sure she is still alive now."
___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Benjamin Victor Hovan,
32,
Casselberry,
Florida

Florida man pistol-whipped, raped and 
robbed a 62-year-old. In jail now.

A man wanted in a South Miami armed home invasion has been arrested
hundreds of miles away after police say he raped, robbed, and
kidnapped a woman at knifepoint.

Benjamin Victor Hovan was arrested Thursday at a Titusville
convenience store, just north of Cocoa Beach, after a nationwide
arrest warrant was issued, Titusville police said.

Brevard County records show Hovan was booked Thursday morning. He
was charged with home invasion, sexual battery and kidnapping.

Police say Hovan robbed a 62-year-old woman at gunpoint on
Wednesday along the 6000 block of Kendall Drive in South Miami.
South Miami police say Hovan, 32, pistol-whipped the woman before
taking off with her jewelry and Mercedes Benz.

On Saturday, police say Hovan was in Casselberry, Florida, just
north of Kissimmee, where he held a 24-year-old woman at
knifepoint.

WFTV9 reported that the woman opened her apartment door thinking it
was a pizza deliveryman.

It wasn't.

Hovan, who police say had been watching the woman and her friend
load the car in a grocery store parking lot just hours before,
barged in with a knife and raped one of them, the news station
reported. Afterward, police said, Hovan kidnapped them in a car
owned by one of them, took them to a Publix ATM in a nearby town
and demanded they withdraw money.

That's when one of the women asked an employee to call 911. By the
time police got there, Hovan had fled.

Hovan was spotted at a convenience store in Titusville on Thursday.
A police officer thought he was acting suspicious and checked the
license plate of the car he was driving.

He tried to run but the cop put him on the ground with her taser.

Hovan was ultimately identified by investigators by his
fingerprints in the woman's apartment and in the stolen Mercedes. 



Tech Support Pits
From: Patti
Re: Alternating Highspeed accounts

Dear Webby,
My computer is for fun and a bit of research and after 5 years
I've decided it's time to get off dial up. My problem: 6 months
in Michigan, 6 months in Arizona. I've looked and looked at
high speed providers and can't find one that will work between
the two areas and also while I'm on the road. My present provider
works in all three areas but wow, it's getting slower and slower.

You have to realize this "olde" gal is slowly coming into the next
century, but good grief, there is so much technology to learn and
small town living doesn't offer much help Can you offer any
advice??

Having a lot of fun,
Patti

Dear Patti
While on the road, you'll just have to go to hotels and motels
that have high speed. As a rule of thumb, 3-star have wired
Internet or free local dial-out, 4 star and up have wireless high
speed Internet.

Regarding the migration, call Earthlink and ask them if they still
have a Snowbird Special.
1-866-383-3080 or go on their live chat.

Get the phone numbers for both locations ready before you call.
They do have a fairly straightforward method for relocating, but
best is if you talk to them.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

You're driving a bus that is leaving from Pennsylvania and
ending in New York.  To start off with,
there were 32 passengers on the bus.
At the next bus stop, 11 people get off and 9 people get on.
At the next bus stop, 2 people got off and 2 people got on.
At the next bus stop, 12 people got on and 16 people got off.
At the next bus stop, 5 people got on and 3 people got off.
What color are the bus driver's eyes?
---------------
Answer on Monday



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




'Twas in a restaurant they first met,
Romeo and Juliet.
'Twas there that he got into debt,
'Cause he owed what Juli ate.'
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Gas Saving Driving Techniques
Use the correct speed for the gear you are in. Try to drive
the speed limit and accelerate slowly when leaving the stop
light. The fastest person through the intersection just gets
to spend more on gas. There is no need to rev your engine
before you turn your vehicle off, it just wastes gas.

Here are some tricks I learned in the arctic:
Use synthetic WINTER oil all year round. It can easily handle
summer temperatures, since the engine has a thermostat anyway.

In winter put a rug in front of the radiator and over the engine,
so that it reaches proper operating temperature. Even the best
engine is a gas guzzler during warm-up, since it is programmed
to burn extra fuel to heat up the engine to ideal temp. Without a
rug it may never reach ideal temp until March!

Change oil and air filters frequently, and vacuum out the
duct from the front to the air filter intake. Any leaves or
twigs in that duct cost you dearly in gas money, but no mechanic
will ever tell you about that. They rather sell you expensive
add-ons or better filters, that don't make much difference.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





It's amazing what was discovered in an old cupboard with a false bottom and a secret safe hidden there.
___________________________________________________

An Irishman and an American were sitting in the
bar at Shannon Airport.

"I've come to meet my brother," said the Irishman.
"He's due to fly in from America in an hour's time.
It's his first trip home in forty years".

"Will you be able to recognize him?" asked the American.

"I'm sure I won't," said the Irishman, "after all,
he's been away for a long time".

"I wonder if he'll recognize you?" said the American.

"Of course he will," said the Irishman.
"I haven't been away at all".
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


A Protestant moved into a completely Catholic community.
Being good Catholics they welcomed him into their community.
But, also because they were good Catholics they did not eat
red meat on Fridays. So when their neighbor began barbecuing
some juicy steak on Friday night, they began to squirm.

They were so annoyed that they went to talk to him about it.
After much talk they convinced him to become Catholic.
The next Sunday he went to the priest and the priest sprinkled
holy water on him and said,

"You were born Protestant. You were raised Protestant.
But now you are Catholic."

And so, the next Friday, as the neighbors sat down to eat their
fish, they were disturbed by the smell of roast beef coming from
the neighboring house. They went over to talk to the new Catholic
because he knew he was not supposed to eat beef on Fridays.
When they saw him, he was sprinkling ketchup on the beef
saying,
"You were born a cow. You were raised a cow.
But now you are a fish."

In order to hang on to their members, Catholics can now eat
red meat on Fridays, and are even allowed to use birth control.
However, organic birth control like "69" is still a sin.
____________________________________________________



Today, July 12 in
1096 Crusaders under Peter the Hermit reached Sofia, Bulgaria.
There they met their Byzantine escort, which brought them safely
the rest of the way to Constantinople. by August 1. 

1543 England's King Henry VIII married his sixth and last wife,
Catherine Parr. 

1690 Protestant forces led by William of Orange defeated the Roman
Catholic army of James II. 

1691 William III defeated the allied Irish and French armies at the
Battle of Aughrim, Ireland. 

1790 The French Assembly approved a Civil Constitution providing
for the election of priests and bishops. 

1806 The Confederation of the Rhine was established in Germany. 

1862 The U.S. Congress authorized the Medal of Honor. 

1864 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln witnessed the battle where
Union forces repelled Jubal Early's army on the outskirts of
Washington, DC. 

1870 The first rotary can opener with a cutting wheel was patented
by William W. Lyman. 

1912 The first foreign-made film to premiere in America, "Queen
Elizabeth", was shown. 

1933 A minimum wage of 40 cents an hour was established in the U.S.

1941 Moscow was bombed by the German Luftwaffe for the first time. 

1960 Manufacturing began for the Etch A Sketch®. 

1982 "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial" broke all box-office records by
surpassing the $100-million mark of ticket sales in the first 31
days of its opening. 

1982 The last of the distinctive-looking Checker taxicabs rolled
off the assembly line in Kalamazoo, MI. 

1990 Russian republic president Boris N. Yeltsin announced his
resignation from the the Soviet Communist Party. 

1998 1.7 billion people watched soccer's World Cup finals between
France and Brazil. France won 3-0. 

1999 Walt Disney Co. announced that it was merging all of its
Internet operations together with Infoseek into Go.com. 

2000 Russia launched the Zvezda after two years of delays. The
module was built to be the living quarters for the International
Space Station (ISS.) 

2018  smiled.





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Javascript 
Wednesday, July 11, 2018, 11:41 AM
Posted by Administrator
		







Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, July 11

What were the biggest news yesterday?
The promised riots against democracy?
Nah. 
Kate Upton topless in Sports Illustrated, pictures and movie clips!
Americans have their priorities.
The riots against democracy will have to wait. 
Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
2nd time in a week DUI driver runs 
back to burning car to light a smoke
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 11 in
1962 The first transatlantic TV transmission was sent through 
the Telstar I satellite. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



Treat people as they are, and they will remain that way.
Treat them as they can be and you help them become what
they are capable of becoming.
--- Goethe

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
--- Andre Gide (1869 - 1951)  

The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. 
We have plenty of messenger boys.
--- Sir William Preece, 
  chief engineer of the British Post Office,  1876  
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Sandie for this story:
A woman joined a health spa and on her first day, she
eagerly joined in on an exercise class.

However, when it ended, she went to the front desk and
requested cancellation of her membership.

When asked why, she replied, "Your floors are so low,
I cannot touch my toes!"

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



Waterbed Testing
_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

Thanks to Unk Wes for this story:
A simple lesson illustrating the difference between the two
parties. Fred Thompson and Hillary were walking down the
street when they came to a homeless person.

The Republican, Fred Thompson, gave the homeless person
his business card and told him to come to his office for a job.
He then took $20 out of his pocket and gave it to the homeless
person.

Hillary was very impressed, so when they came to another
homeless person, she decided to help. She walked over to
the homeless person and gave him directions to the welfare
office.

She then reached into Thompson's pocket and got out $20.
She kept $15 for her administrative fees and gave the
homeless person $5.
___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Robert Quigley, 25
Citrus Heights,
California

2nd time in a week DUI driver runs 
back to burning car to light a smoke

 A suspected drunken driver went back to his burning car Sunday to
try lighting his cigarette using the flames, according to the CHP.

Amy Walker with the CHP says Robert Quigley, 25, rear-ended an SUV
that was stopped in traffic on westbound Interstate 80 just west of
Antelope Road. At the time of the crash, Quigley was driving around
75 to 80 mph.

A CHP officer spotted the car after it burst into flames and turned
around in traffic to help. As he did, he spotted Quigley switch
seats with his female passenger. Quigley later admitted to the
officer that he was behind the wheel at the time of the crash.

A witness told officials a shirtless Quigley went back to his
burning car to light his cigarette, singeing part of his eyebrows
off in the process, according to Walker. Quigley later told the
officer at the scene, “Yeah I’m not afraid of fire. I deal with
this kind of stuff all the time.”
Walker says Quigley sustained a burn on his neck from his seatbelt.
No one else was injured in the crash.

Quigley has been charged on suspicion of driving under the
influence and is being booked into the Sacramento County Main Jail.
This is the second time he has been picked up for DUI in the last
week after Grass Valley CHP stopped him during a separate incident.



Tech Support Pits
From: Daniel
Re: Javascript

Dear Webby,
do i need javascript if i have sun java installed already?
thanks,
daniel

Dear Daniel
You don't install Javascript.
Javascript is on web pages, using the SUN Java that you
already have installed.

You can allow or disallow the use of javascript in your
browser's Internet Options. If you don't allow it, a lot of
pages won't work right.

Javascript has been around for a long time. I used to build
shopping carts with it 20 years ago. Even today,
most banking and shopping pages won't work right if you
don't allow scripting.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

A student from the University of Washington has sold his
soul on eBay for $400.  He's a law student, so he probably
doesn't need it, but still, that’s not very much.
Today, Hillary Clinton said, "Hey, at least I got some furniture
and a Senate seat for mine."   ---Jay Leno



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




The Smiths were shown into the dentist's office, where
Mr. Smith made it clear that he didn't want to spend
a lot of money.

"No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered, "No gas or needles
or any of that stuff.  Just pull the tooth and get it
over with."

"I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said
the dentist admiringly.  "Now, which tooth is it?"

Mr. Smith turned to his wife...
"Show him your tooth, honey!"
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Making Non-Slip Hangers
By LoveLiveHome
Hot Glue on HangerInstead of buying expensive hangers to keep your
silky shirts looking nice and from falling off of the hanger, buy
plastic hangers and make a zig zag line of hot glue across the
hanger. Ta-da! No slip grip!


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





It's amazing what was discovered in an old cupboard with a false bottom and a secret safe hidden there.
___________________________________________________

I went along  with a friend when she took her female
Akita, Sasha  to be bred. It is  common practice  for
both the client and the owner of the dogs to oversee
the mating, just to be sure a breeding did take place
also to prevent the dogs from harming each other.
The male was getting on in years but his owner didn't
expect any problems.

The impressive looking male Akita,  General, was
introduced to flirlty Sasha.  She play bowed, spun in
circles, barked, presented the baby making area to him.
She was ready.

Before she arrived, the owner had put a bowl of home
cooked  doggie stew out for General. The huge Akita
looked at Sasha, looked at the bowl, back at  the female.
He put a paw on Sasha's  shoulder as if in apology, then
turned  away to  flop down in front of the stew to eat.
Slowly, his eyes half closed, he was set to  enjoy
every morsal.

I expected the owner to be a bit embarrassed. After
all the client had driven 500 miles to have her Akita bred.
Watching his male dog choose stew over a pretty female,
he just shook his head then mournfully  said ,"Please Lord,
don't ever let me get that old!"
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


JOB SEEKERS FROM THE PAST

Julius Caesar (also Gerorge Bush):
My last job involved a lot of office politics and back
stabbing. I'd like to get away from all that.

Jesse James:
I can list among my experiences and skills: leadership,
extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate
understanding of firearms, and a knowledge of sescurity
measures at numerous banks.

Marie Antoinette:
My management style has been criticzed, but I'd like to
think of myself as a people person.

Joseph Guillotin:
I can give your company a head start on the competition.

Hamlet:
My position was eliminated in a hostsile takeover.

Lucrezia Borgia:
My greatest accomplishment? After I took over the
department, our competition just seemed to drop out
of sight one by one.

Pandora:
I can bring a lot to your company. I like discovering
new things.

Genghis Khan:
My primary talent is downsizing. On my last job I
downsized my staff, my organization, and the
populations of several countries.

Macbeth:
Would I go after my boss's job? Do I look like the kind
of guy who would knock of his boss for a promotion?

Lady Godiva:
What do you mean this isn't business casual?

Elvis:
My last boss and I...say, are you going to eat those fries?

Hillary:
I would like to put my criminal past behind me and get on with
governing the Universe, even though it is very difficult to find
competent scape goats.
____________________________________________________



Today, July 11 in
1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg was elected Holy Roman Emperor in
Germany. 

1533 Henry VIII, who divorced his wife and became head of the
church of England, was excommunicated from the Catholic Church by
Pope Clement VII. 

1708 The French were defeated at Oudenarde, Malplaquet, in the
Netherlands by the Duke of Marlborough and Eugene of Savoy. 

1742 A papal decree was issued condemning the disciplining actions
of the Jesuits in China. 

1786 Morocco agreed to stop attacking American ships in the
Mediterranean for a payment of $10,000. They took the money, but
did not stop their piracy until the marines went there and adjusted
their attitudes.

1798 The U.S. Marine Corps was formally re-established by "An Act
for Establishing a Marine Corps" passed by the U.S. Congress. The
act also created the U.S. Marine Band. The Marines were first
commissioned by the Continental Congress on November 10, 1775. 

1804 The United States' first secretary of the treasury, Alexander
Hamilton, was killed by Vice President Aaron Burr in a duel. 

1864 In the U.S., Confederate forces led by Gen. Jubal Early began
an invasion of Washington, DC. They turned back the next day. 

1918 Enrico Caruso recorded "Over There" written by George M.
Cohan. 

1934 U.S. President Franklin Delano Roosevelt became the first
American chief executive to travel through the Panama Canal while
in office. 

1955 The U.S. Air Force Academy was dedicated in Colorado at Lowry
Air Base. 

1962 The first transatlantic TV transmission was sent through the
Telstar I satellite. 

1972 U.S. forces broke the 95-day siege at An Loc in Vietnam. 

1977 The Medal of Freedom was awarded posthumously to Rev. Martin
Luther King Jr. in a White House ceremony. 

1979 The abandoned U.S. space station Skylab returned to Earth. It
burned up in the atmosphere and showered debris over the Indian
Ocean and Australia. 

1985 Dr. H. Harlan Stone announced that he had used zippers for
stitches on 28 patients. The zippers were used when he thought he
may have to re-operate. 

1985 Nolan Ryan (Houston Astros) became the first major league
pitcher to earn 4,000 strikeouts in a career. (Texas) 

1995 Full diplomatic relations were established between the United
States and Vietnam. 

1998 U.S. Air Force Lt. Michael Blassie, a casualty of the Vietnam
War, was laid to rest near his Missouri home. He had been
positively identified from his remains that had been enshrined in
the Tomb of the Unknowns in Arlington, VA. 

1999 A U.S. Air Force jet flew over the Antarctic and dropped off
emergency medical supplies for Dr. Jerri Nelson after she had
discovered a lump in her breast. Nelso was at the Amundsen-Scott
South Pole Research Center. 

2000 The video "Jaws," the Anniversary Collector's Edition, was
released. 

2000 Liam Neeson broke his pelvis after hitting a deer with his
Harley Davidson motorcycle. 

2018  smiled.





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Checking mail from two mqachines 
Tuesday, July 10, 2018, 10:23 AM
Posted by Administrator
		







Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, July 10

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Neck tattoo with PA man's 
name foils fake ID
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 10 in
1913 The highest temperature ever recorded in the U.S. was 
134 degrees in Death Valley, CA. 
Did they have a spell of Gullible Warming?
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



None are so busy as the fool and knave.
--- John Dryden (1631 - 1700)

Confidence is contagious. So is lack of confidence. -
--- Vince Lombardi
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A flight attendant on a cross-country flight nervously
announced about 30 minutes outbound from LA,
"I don't know how this happened, but we have 103
passengers aboard and only 40 dinners."

When the passengers' muttering had died down, she
continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his
meal so someone else can eat, will receive free drinks
for the length of the flight."

Her next announcement came an hour later.
"If anyone wants to change his mind, we still have 29
dinners available!"

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

A classic!
Dear Mom,

Our Scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you
saw the flood on TV and worried.  We are OK.  Only one of our
tents and two sleeping bags got washed away.  Luckily, none of us
got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for
Chad when it happened.

Oh yes, please call Chad's mother and tell her that he's OK.  He
can't write because of the cast. I got to ride on one of the
search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found
him in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Webb got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone
without telling anyone.  Chad said he did tell him, but it was
during the fire so he probably didn't hear him.

Did you know that if you put a gas can on a fire, the gas can
will blow up?  Billy is going to look weird until his hair grows
back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Webb gets the car
fixed. It wasn't his fault about the wreck.  The brakes worked OK
when we left. Scoutmaster Webb said that with a car that old you
to have to expect something to break down; that's probably why he
can't get insurance on it. We think it's a neat car.  He doesn't
care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us
ride in the tailgate. It gets pretty hot with ten people in a
car.

Scoutmaster Webb is a neat guy. Don't worry, he is a good driver.
In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. But he only lets him
drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any traffic. All we
ever see up there are logging trucks.

Guess what?  We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When
Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a
tourniquet works.

Also, Wade and I threw up.  Scoutmaster Webb said it probably was
just food poisoning from  the leftover chicken. He said they got
sick that way with the food they ate in prison.

I'm so glad he got out and became our scoutmaster. He said he
sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing
his time.

I have to go now. We are going into town to mail our letters and
buy more bullets and dynamite.

Don't worry about anything.  We are fine.

Love,
Johnny
___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Chad M Stitch, 
35,
Greensburg,
Pennsylvania

Neck tattoo with PA man's 
name foils fake ID

The tattoo gave it away.
A Greensburg police officer knew a Greensburg man was giving him a
fake name, according to court papers.
The evidence was right there in front of him   tattooed on the
suspect's neck.

Chad M. Stitch, who turns 35 today, was riding in a car that was
pulled over Wednesday after it was suspected to be involved in a
drug deal, according to police.

Stitch is being held in the Westmoreland County Prison on $300,000
bail.

A witness reported to police an apparent drug deal involving a blue
Chevrolet Malibu at 7:15 p.m. in a parking lot along South Main
Street. At the same time, police saw the same car speeding in that
area, eventually catching up with it close to the Cedar Street exit
of Route 30, according to an affidavit.

The passenger identified himself as  Chad Majors,  but Detective
John Swank called his bluff. Swank had arrested Stitch in 2012.

 I told Stitch that he had provided a false name and I knew he was
Chad Stitch,  Swank wrote in the complaint.  He denied that and
stated that his name was Chad Majors. I observed  Stitch  tattooed
on the left side of his neck and told Stitch that his name was
tattooed on his neck. 

Police said they seized about 40 bags of suspected heroin stamped
Super Mario  and  Polo,  23 Ecstasy tablets, marijuana and $180.

Stitch is charged with drug offenses and false identification to
police.

He did not have an attorney listed in online court records. A
preliminary hearing is set Thursday.

A drunken driving charge is pending against the car's driver,
police said.



Tech Support Pits
From: Barbara
Re: Check mail from two machines

Dear Webby,
Thanks for your previous help.  I have another question.
How can I use my Outlook Express from my desktop and my laptop
using the same name and password.  In other words how can I access
the same mailbox from both computers and not lose the emails on my
desk top?

Thank you
Barbara

Dear Barbara
With standard email programs you would set the program on
the laptop to "Leave Mail On Server", and on the one on the
desktop leave it on the default ("Delete mail off the server
when downloaded").

So that you also have the OUT mail on the desktop, you simply
BCC your replies to yourself.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the
father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high
so I can see what I'm doing."

Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.

"Whoa there," said the doctor.  "Don't be in a rush to put
the lantern down ... I think there's yet another one to come."

Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl.

"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that
lantern ...
It seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor.

The Goober scratched his head in bewilderment, and
asked the doctor,

"Do you think it's the light that's attractin' 'em?"



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




When my aunt's youngest child was 3, he wanted a curse
word that he could use.  To appease the kid she told him
that he could say,
"Dag nabbit."

Well, the problem was that when he said it, it came out as,
"Damm Wabbit."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Put Straw on Top of Your Potatoes 
When you plant potatoes, layer about 2 feet of straw on top.
The plants will grow through and make potatoes on top of
the ground and the straw will shrink down during the summer.
By Glenita

If you don't have straw, an old bed sheet works even better.
When you see the greens lifting the sheet, stab it with a knife and
let the greens wiggle out.
The potaoes will grow just fine below the sheet, and from early
summer on you can reach under the sheet and grab a meal's worth of
clean potatoes.
That worked well for me even in the Yukon.

In cold climate like the Yukon, a plastic tunnel above the potato
greenery of course helps a lot. 
Have FUN!
DearWebby


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





How can you eat these beautiful creations?
___________________________________________________

Little Johnny went to the store with his grandmother.
On the way home, he looked through her bags to see
what she had purchased.

In one package, Little Johnny found some panty hose
and he began to sound out the words "Queen Size."

He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed, "WOW!
Look Gramma!  You're as wide as Mom's bed!"
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

A couple had two little boys ages 8 and 10, who were
excessively mischievous. They were always getting into
trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief
occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been
successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would
speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed but asked to see
them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first,
in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in
the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the
younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response,
sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. So the
clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone,
"Where is God!!?"
Again the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman
raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's
face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home
and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his
older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG
trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did
it!"
____________________________________________________



Today, July 10 in

1609 The Catholic states in Germany set up a league under the
leadership of Maximillian of Bavaria. 

1679 The British crown claimed New Hampshire as a royal colony. 

1776 The statue of King George III was pulled down in New York
City. 

1778 In support of the American Revolution, Louis XVI declared war
on England. 

1821 U.S. troops took possession of Florida. The territory was sold
by Spain. 

1866 Edison P. Clark patented his indelible pencil. 

1900 'His Master's Voice', was registered with the U.S. Patent
Office. The logo of the Victor Recording Company, and later, RCA
Victor, shows the dog, Nipper, looking into the horn of a
gramophone machine. 

1910 W.R. Brookins became the first to fly an airplane at an
altitude of one mile. 

1913 The highest temperature ever recorded in the U.S. was 134
degrees in Death Valley, CA. 

1919 The Treaty of Versailles was hand delivered to the U.S. Senate
by President Wilson. 

1925 The official news agency of the Soviet Union, TASS, was
established. 

1928 George Eastman first demonstrated color motion pictures. 

1938 Howard Hughes completed a 91 hour flight around the world. 

1940 The 114-day Battle of Britain began during World War II. 

1947 Saab introduced the Model 92 prototype as its first
automobile. 

1949 The first practical rectangular television was presented. The
picture tube measured 12 by 16 and sold for $12. 

1951 Armistice talks aimed at ending the Korean conflict began at
Kaesong. 

1951 Sugar Ray Robinson was defeated for only the second time in
133 fights as Randy Turpin took the middleweight crown. 

1953 American forces withdraw from Pork Chop Hill in Korea after
heavy fighting. 

1962 The Telstar Communications satellite was launched. The
satellite relayed TV and telephone signals between Europe and the
U.S. 

1962 Fred Baldasare swam the English Channel underwater. It was a
42 miles and took 18 hours. 

1973 Britain granted the Bahamas their independence after three
centuries of British colonial rule. 

1985 Coca-Cola resumed selling the old formula of Coke, it was
renamed "Coca-Cola Classic." It was also announced that they would
continue to sell "New" Coke. 

1990 Mikhail Gorbachev won re-election as the leader of the Soviet
Communist Party. 

1991 Boris Yeltsin took the oath of office as the first elected
president of the Russian republic. 

1991 U.S. President Bush lifted economic sanctions against South
Africa, citing its "profound transformation" toward racial
equality. 

1997 Scientists in London said DNA from a Neanderthal skeleton
supported a theory that all humanity descended from an "African
Eve" 100,000 to 200,000 years ago. 

1998 The World Bank approved a $700 million loan to Thailand. 

1999 The heads of six African nations that had troops in the
Democratic Republic of the Congo signed a cease-fire agreement that
would end the civil war in that nation. 

2002 Peter Paul Rubens' painting "The Massacre of the Innocents"
sold for $76.2 million at Sotheby's. 

2015 In South Carolina, the Confederate flag was removed for the
last time from the Capitol grounds and taken to a state military
museum. 

2018  smiled.




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Calendar Makers 
Monday, July 9, 2018, 08:33 AM
Posted by Administrator
		







Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, July 9

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Texan tried to steal an suv with kids inside
then the mom shot him.
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 9 in
1816 Argentina declared independence from Spain.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



Great spirits have always encountered violent
opposition from mediocre minds.
--- Albert Einstein

I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our
liberties than standing armies.
--- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826)

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian
because I hate plants.
--- A. Whitney Brown 
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

The graduate with a Science degree asks,
"Why does it work?"

The graduate with an Engineering degree asks,
"How does it work?"

The graduate with an Accounting degree asks,
"How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an Liberal Arts degree asks,
"Do you want fries with that?"
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

Father Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was
an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day,
decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate
Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to say
Mass for him that day.

As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton
headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away.
This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he
knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was
alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else
was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord
while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed,
"You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"

The Lord sighed, and said, "No, I guess not."

Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight
towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and
fell into the hole. It WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!

St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked,
"Why did you let him do that?"

The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to brag to?"
___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

(Previous mug shot)

Ricky Wright, 36,
Dallas,
Texas

A man tried to steal an suv with kids inside
then the mom shot him.

A Texas mother used her firearm to prevent a kidnapping after a man
allegedly tried to steal her SUV with her two toddlers inside.

Michelle Booker-Hicks was at a gas station in Dallas on Wednesday
night when the attendant alerted her that a carjacker had begun to
drive her car away, reported Dallas Morning News. She was able to
jump into the back seat, and after a brief altercation, she pulled
a gun from her glove compartment.

The suspect, Ricky Wright, 36, was shot in the head and immediately
crashed the vehicle into a utility pole. Wright was taken to the
hospital with non-life threatening injuries.

“I should have just emptied the whole clip but I didn’t. I didn’t.
I just wanted to give him  warning shot, that was it,” Booker said
to KTVT-TV. “I’m not a killer or anything like that, but I do
believe in defending what’s mine.”

Wright was arrested and charged with two counts of unlawful
restraint and unauthorized use of motor vehicle. He has an
extensive criminal record, with more than 20 charges on a variety
of crimes, reported ABC13. The mother and her children were
unharmed.



Tech Support Pits
From: Tam
Re: Calendar maker

Dear Webby,
thanks for the humor letter, lovin it everyday, I was
wondering if you know of anyplace online that I can
print calenders..monthy ones.
thanks
Tam

Dear Tam
I just use a spreadsheet to make calendars whenever I neend
some, but you can go to
http://www.myfreecalendarmaker.com/
and generate and print them rightoff their site.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.


Thanks to Chuck for this report:
I was reminded of the time I was in Washington (the State) 
eating breakfast at a little diner in the middle of no-where.

In the next booth were 3 state police chatting and having
coffee.

One of them told the story of the time they had set up a
speed trap way out in the middle of nowhere. Long stretches
between small towns.

This guy comes along, really screaming.  Gets a ticket.
Goes a little way, stomps on the pedal and the next officer
in the line stops him and gives him another ticket.

The guy ends up with 5 speeding tickets.  He was thinking
that its so remote, there can't be another cop for miles.
And especially after the 4 ticket he knows,
there can't be another.



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had
designed some software for one of our largest accounts.
He asked my help in putting it into operation.

At first, he handled most of the work. Eventually, though,
he asked me to help with the last phase of the training.
When I sat down with one woman and told her I would be
showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed
with relief. "I'm so glad you're teaching me instead of him."

Surprised, I said that my colleague was far more
experienced than I was.

"Yes," she said, "but I feel much more comfortable with you.
I get nervous around smart people."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Recycled Water For Plants
Don't pour water that you use for cooking vegetables down
the drain. It works great for watering plants, especially
when there is a water shortage. Fish tank water is also
full of nutrients that your plants will love. Dish water and
tub water can also be used.


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





How can you eat these beautiful creations?
___________________________________________________

Thanks to Sandie for this story:
At the banquet of their 25th wedding anniversary, Tom was
asked to give his friends a brief account of the benefits
of a marriage of such a long duration.

"Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from all those
wonderful years with your wife"?

Tom responded, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the
best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, forbearance,
meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness and a great many
other qualities you wouldn't have needed if you'd
stayed single!"
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


WEIRD QUESTIONS
Actual questions I have been
asked by pet owners.

Q. Why does my dog drink out of the toilet bowl?
A. Because you left the lid up.

Q. What should I do if I find a snake in my yard?
A. Scream, run like hell, leave it alone, he'll leave.

Q. How can I keep my clothes dry when I bath the dog?
A. Strip.

Q. Why does my fish food taste so bad.
A. You actually tasted the stuff?.

Q.The pet store said my rabbits were both girls.
     Now there are baby bunnies. What happened?
A. Take a deep breath. Ready? One is a boy!

Q. The vet said to give my cat three pills a day.
      My cat won't swallow them. Should I put the
      pills up his bottom?
A.  Poor cat. Phone me first, I want to watch!
____________________________________________________



Today, July 9 in
0118 Hadrian, Rome's new emperor, made his entry into the city. 

0455 Avitus, the Roman military commander in Gaul, became Emperor
of the West. 

1540 England's King Henry VIII had his 6-month-old marriage to his
fourth wife, Anne of Cleves, annulled. 

1609 In a letter to the crown, the emperor Rudolf II granted
Bohemia freedom of worship. 

1755 General Edward Braddock was mortally wounded when French and
Indian troops ambushed his force of British regulars and colonial
militia. He died on July 13. 

1776 The American Declaration of Independence was read aloud to
Gen. George Washington's troops in New York. 

1789 In Versailles, the French National Assembly declared itself
the Constituent Assembly and began to prepare a French
constitution. 

1790 The Swedish navy captured one third of the Russian fleet at
the naval battle of Svensksund in the Baltic Sea. 

1792 S.L. Mitchell of Columbia College in New York City became the
first Professor of Agriculture. 

1808 The leather-splitting machine was patented by Samuel Parker. 

1816 Argentina declared independence from Spain. 

1847 A 10-hour work day was established for workers in the state of
New Hampshire. 

1868 The 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified. The
amendment was designed to grant citizenship to and protect the
civil liberties of recently freed slaves. It did this by
prohibiting states from denying or abridging the privileges or
immunities of citizens of the United States, depriving any person
of his life, liberty, or property without due process of law, or
denying to any person within their jurisdiction the equal
protection of the laws. 

1872 The doughnut cutter was patented by John F. Blondel. 

1877 Alexander Graham Bell, Gardiner Greene Hubbard, Thomas Sanders
and Thomas Watson formed the Bell Telephone Company. 

1878 The corncob pipe was patented by Henry Tibbe. 

1900 The Commonwealth of Australia was established by an act of the
British Parliament, uniting the separate colonies under a federal
government. 

1922 Johnny Weissmuller became the first person to swim the 100
meters freestyle in less than a minute. 

1943 American and British forces made an amphibious landing on
Sicily. 

1947 The engagement of Britain's Princess Elizabeth to Lt. Philip
Mountbatten was announced. 

1951 U.S. President Truman asked Congress to formally end the state
of war between the United States and Germany. 

1953 New York Airways began the first commuter passenger service by
helicopter. 

1971 The United States turned over complete responsibility of the
Demilitarized Zone to South Vietnamese units. 

1997 Mike Tyson was banned from the boxing ring and fined $3
million for biting the ear of opponent Evander Holyfield. 

2005 Danny Way, a daredevil skateboarder, rolled down a large ramp
and jumped across the Great Wall of China. He was the first person
to clear the wall without motorized aid. 

2015 The South Carolina House of Representatives approved taking
down the Confederate flag from the Capitol grounds. The flag was
removed the next day and taken to a state military museum. 

2018  smiled.





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Keeping neighbors off your wireless 
Sunday, July 8, 2018, 09:48 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, July 8

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Counterfeit user in Florida caught
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 8 in
1099 Christian soldiers on the First Crusade march around Jerusalem. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up 
all night and eat anything.
--- Herb Caen

If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going.
--- Professor Irwin Corey (1914 - ) 

Humans are not proud of their ancestors,
and rarely invite them round to dinner.
--- Douglas Adams
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I would
like to live very long. What should I do?"

"I think that is a wise decision," the doctor replies.
"Let's see, do you smoke?"

"Oh.. Half a pack a day."

"Starting NOW, no more smoking." The man agrees.

The doctor then asks, "Do you drink?"

"Oh, well Doc, not much, just a bit of wine with my
meals, and a beer or two every once in a while."

"Starting now, you drink only water. No exceptions."

The man is a bit upset, but also agrees.

The doctor asks, "How do you eat?"

"Oh, well, you know, Doc, normal stuff."

"Starting now you are going on a very strict diet.
You are going to eat only raw vegetables, with no
dressing, and non-fat cottage cheese."

The man is now really worried. "Doc, is all this
really necessary?"

"Do you want to live long?"

"Yes."

"Well then, it's absolutely necessary. And don't
even think of breaking the diet." The man is
quite restless, but the doctor continues, "Do
you have sex?"

"Yeah, once a week or so..., only with my wife!"
he adds hurriedly.

"As soon as you get out of here you are going to
buy twin beds. No more sex for you. None."

The man is appalled. "Doc... Are you sure I'm
going to live longer this way?"

"I have no idea, but whatever you live, I assure
you is going to seem like an eternity!"
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________
Tom's barn burned down and his wife, Matilda Jane, called
her insurance agent to file a claim...
Matilda Jane told the insurance company, "We had that barn
insured for fifty thousand and I want my money, right quick!"

The agent replied, "Just a minute, there, Matilda Jane.
Insurance doesn't work quite like that. We will ascertain the
value of what was insured and provide you with a new one of
comparable worth."

There was a long pause before Matilda Jane replied, "Then I'd
like to cancel the policy on my husband... Right NOW!!"
___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Priscilla Corpus,
21,
North Lauderdale,
Florida

Counterfeit user in Florida caught

A Florida woman's free fast food binge ended Tuesday.

According to a Facebook post from the Martin County Sheriff's
Office, Priscilla Corpus and her alleged partner in crime Jeffrey
Scot Robinson was taken into custody on Tuesday.

According to TCPalm.com, staffers at Dunkin Donuts tipped off cops
to what appeared to be a fake bill.

Deputies stopped the pair's trek in Stuart as they were motoring to
their next location to hit up. 

In their car, along with numerous bags of food from restaurants
along the Treasure Coast, deputies found more than $500 in
counterfeit $20 and $50 bills, along with more than $1,500 in real
U.S. currency.

"The duo also had two fake guns, a number of wigs and a change of
clothing," read the report.

Corpus, who is from North Lauderdale, admitted to detectives she
would go to various fast/casual food chains like Dunkin Donuts,
Panera and McDonald's and pay for a meal with a counterfeit bill,
then get authentic money in change.

Robinson, who is from Pompano Beach, was the driver, but had no
valid license, said the sheriff's department.

Corpus, 21, was charged with uttering a forged instrument (three
counts), possessing forged bills and permitting an unauthorized
operator to drive. She is being held at the Martin County Jail on a
$20,400 bond, according to deputies.

Robinson was charged with operating a vehicle without a license,
and resisting arrest without violence. The 19 year old, who was not
involved with any phony cash transactions, cops say, was released
from the Martin County Jail on $950 bond.



Tech Support Pits
From: Wes
Re: Keeping neighbors off your wireless

Dear Webby,
I have wireless, but always wonder if someone is "piggy-
backing" off of my signel.  How does one stop a neighbor
from doing this?

Dear Wes
Password your access.
Or, if your neighbors don't have any hackabilly teenagers,
rent them a share. Most routers are good for six shares.

It is still a good idea to password your wireless and give
each share a password. In many towns junior geeks go
"war cruising" to find open networks, and use them to get
onto the net to do all kinds of mischief.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.


A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend
and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue
in the Netherlands flag.
"Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said.
"We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our
tax bill, and blue after we pay them."

"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see
stars, too."



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Smith emailed his supervisor in the front office.  "Boss,"
he wrote, "my mother-in-law is doing some heavy house-cleaning
tomorrow, and my wife wants me to go help with the attic
and the  garage, moving and hauling stuff."

"We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replied. "I can't give
you the day off."

"Thanks, boss," Smith wrote back, "I knew I could count on
you!"
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Camp Grill Cooking Tips 
Apply cooking spray to your grill to keep food from sticking.
When cooking it in a pot, use a lid. The food will cook faster
and it will help keep dirt and insects out of your meal. Wrap
potatoes and other vegetables in foil with a little butter and
spices to cook on the grill.


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





800 year old doodles.  Some things never change.
___________________________________________________

Morris and Manuel were partners in a very successful garment
manufacturing company in N.Y.C.  They Both were having a
' fling ' with Beckie....a young attractive model who worked
for their firm.

One rainy day Beckie announced to her two lovers,
"I'm pregnant! "

Since both partners were married men they decided that
Manuel would take Beckie to Mexico where she could have the
baby without a scandal.

Manuel took off for Mexico with Beckie while Morris ran the
business and worried.

Several months later an Email arrived for Morris from Manuel.
It read..." Dear Partner:  Beckie had Twins.  Mine died at
birth.  What do you want to name yours ?
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


When my sister Andrea got married, she asked to wear my
mother's wedding dress. The day she tried it on for the
first time I was sitting with Mother in the living room as

Andrea descended the stairs. The gown was a perfect fit on
her petite frame. Mother's eyes welled with tears. I put my
arm around her.

"You're not losing a daughter," I reminded her in time-
honored fashion. "You're gaining a son."

"Oh, forget about that BS!" she wailed with a sob.
"I used to fit into that dress!"
____________________________________________________



Today, July 8 in
1099 Christian soldiers on the First Crusade march around Jerusalem. 

1608 The first French settlement at Quebec was established by
Samuel de Champlain. 

1663 King Charles II of England granted a charter to Rhode Island. 

1693 Uniforms for police in New York City were authorized. 

1709 Peter the Great defeated Charles XII at Poltava, in the
Ukraine, The Swedish empire was effectively ended. 

1755 Britain broke off diplomatic relations with France as their
disputes in the New World intensified. 

1776 Col. John Nixon gave the first public reading of the U.S.
Declaration of Independence to a crowd at Independence Square in
Philadelphia. 

1794 French troops captured Brussels, Belgium. 

1815 Louis XVIII returned to Paris after the defeat of Napoleon. 

1865 C.E. Barnes patented the machine gun. 

1879 The first ship to use electric lights departed from San
Francisco, CA. 

1881 Edward Berner, druggist in Two Rivers, WI, poured chocolate
syrup on ice cream in a dish. To this time chocolate syrup had only
been used for making ice-cream sodas. 

1889 John L. Sullivan defeated Jake Kilrain, in the last
championship bare-knuckle fight. The fight lasted 75 rounds. 

1907 Florenz Ziegfeld staged his first "Follies" on the roof of the
New York Theater in New York City. 

1947 Demolition work began in New York City for the new permanent
headquarters of the United Nations. 

1950 General Douglas MacArthur was named commander-in-chief of
United Nations forces in Korea. 

1953 Notre Dame announced that the next five years of its football
games would be shown in theatres over closed circuit TV. 

1960 The Soviet Union charged Gary Powers with espionage. He was
shot down in a U-2 spy plane. 

1963 All Cuban-owned assets in the United States were frozen. 

1969 The U.S. Patent Office issued a patent for the game "Twister."


1981 The Solar Challenger became the frist solar-powered airplane
to cross the English Channel. 

1986 Kurt Waldheim was inaugurated as president of Austria despite
controversy over his alleged ties to Nazi war crimes. 

1997 The Mayo Clinic and the U.S. government warned that the diet-
drug combination known as "fen-phen" could cause serious heart and
lung damage. 

1997 NATO invited Poland, Hungary, and the Czech Republic to join
the alliance in 1999. 

2010 The Solar Impulse completed the first 24-hour flight by a
solar powered plane. 

2018  smiled.





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Temp File 
Saturday, July 7, 2018, 09:19 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday,  July 7

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Fashist climbs to foot of Statue of Liberty
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 7 in
1930 Construction began on Boulder Dam, later Hoover Dam, 
on the Colorado River. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



Good judgement comes from experience. 
Experience comes from bad judgement.
--- Socratex

Nothing is really work 
unless you would rather be doing something else.
--- James M. Barrie (1860 - 1937
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________
A mother-in-law arrives home from the shops to find her son-in-law
Pete in a steaming rage and hurriedly packing his suitcase.
"What happened Paddy ?" she asks anxiously. 

"What happened!! I'll tell you what happened. I sent an email to my
wife telling her I was coming home today from my fishing trip. I
get home... and guess what I found??
 
"Yes, your daughter, my wife Jean, naked with Tim McDurmt in our
marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our marriage. I'm
done. I'm leaving forever!"

"Come now, calm down, calm down Paddy!" says his mother-in-law.
"There is something very odd going on here.  Jean would never do
such a thing! There must be a simple explanation. 'll go speak to
her immediately and find out what happened."
 
Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile.
"There now Pete, you see? I told you there must be a simple
explanation! 
 
"Well, WHAT is it?" Fumed Pete.
 
"She never got your E-mail!"
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



MY ahirt!
_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy,
one of the church elders offered to present him with a bottle
on one consideration - that the pastor acknowledge receipt
of the gift in the church paper.

"Gladly," responded the good man.

When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder
turned at once to the "appreciation" column.  There he read:
"The minister extends his thanks to Elder Brown for his gift
of fruit and for the spirit in which it was given."
___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Therese Patricia Okoumou, 44,
Staten Island,
New York

Fashist climbs to foot of Statue of Liberty

Okoumou, a fanatic Fashist, climbed to the base of the 
Statue of Liberty to protest the Immigration and Customs
Enforcement agency, which enforces decades-long federal immigration
law that predates President Trump's tenure.

She is a member of Rise and Resist, an anti-Trump group that claims
because they are kinda stupid but noisy, they overrule the elected
government, which held an  Abolish ICE  banner at the foot of the
Statue of Liberty before her climb.

The Hilarites demand open borders and to allow free and unchecked 
access for MS13 and other welfare recipients. And as Fashists, they
claim they are right and the elected government is wrong.

Okoumou vowed to stay atop the Statue of Liberty until  all the
illegal-alien children are released.  In reality, Okoumou came down
two hours into her failed publicity stunt after being taken into
custody and jailed by the cops.

The morons don't realize that the kids of arrested criminals, no
matter whether the criminals had burglared into a bank or a 
country, can not be released onto the street, but have to remain 
with Child Services.
Unlike the Obama era cages, nowadays Child services places the kids
with foster homes or juvenile detention schools.

Liberty Island had to evacuate 4,500 tourists on Independence Day
thanks to Okoumou and her motley crew of fashist protesters.
Okoumou is now sitting in jail along with six of her  "Rise and
Resist"  crew, who ruined a holiday for innocent bystanders and
police alike.
Okoumou is facing charges of trespassing, disorderly conduct, and
interfering with government functions.

In August 2017, Okoumou was arrested and charged with misdemeanor
assault for injuring a cop while resisting arrest during a protest.

She has a history of filing unsuccessful race-discrimination
lawsuits.

In 2003, she filed a wrongful-termination lawsuit claiming racial
discrimination after being fired from a battered-women's shelter
called Safe Horizons. According to court records, Okoumou's boss
said she was fired because she was rude and unprofessional to 
clients and colleagues. She lost the lawsuit.

In 2007, Okoumou unsuccessfully filed another race discrimination
complaint against a group home in Staten Island.

It's unclear who's paying Okoumou's bills while she participates
in weekly anti-Trump protests, or why she didn't launch similar
protests when Barack Obama jailed and mass-deported illegal aliens
during his eight years as president.

The only change is that under Trump the detention facilities and
procedures were drastically improved.



Tech Support Pits
From: CJW
Re: Temp File

dear webby.
question is there anyway to block this folder %temp%. type it run.
see the email below about the question posed to me.
thanks helmut!
cjw

MICROSOFT HAS A SECRET TEMP FOLDER THAT TAKES QUITE A
BIT OF SPACE. TO DELETE THIS FOLDER GO TO START, RUN, AND
TYPE IN %TEMP%. THEN OPEN, SELECT ALL AND DELETE. YOU
'LL GET A MESSAGE CANT THIS FILE, CLICK OK AND MOVE TO THE
NEXT ONES. MAKE SURE ALL OPEN WINDOWS ARE CLOSED.
WHEN I STARTED HAD 1700 ITEMS, FINISHED WITH THREE. DO THIS
EVERY SO OFTEN. MARY REAL SIMPLE!! LOL
CJW

Dear Chuck
What kind of Caps-Locker BS is that?
The temp folder is not secret, never has been secret,
and never will be secret.
It is at C:\Documents and Settings\YourName\Local Settings\Temp
There are more temp files in the same area.
So what?
You can use CrapCleaner to weed them out,
but your browser will be slower, when it has to download
stuff instead of re-using it.

Honestly, it's not a sinister conspiracy to catch "Agent CapsLock".
However, just because you are paranoid,
that does not mean they are not out to get you!

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.


My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.
One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes,
my father stepped up behind her.
"Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked.

Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied,
"Oh, yes, I'd love  to!"

They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end
of it that  Dad confessed. His question had actually been
directed to the family dog, lying near Mom's feet on the
kitchen floor.



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




And old fellow was snoozing away contentedly when he was
startled awake by the doorbell. He staggered off the couch to
make his way to the door. There stood a gorgeous young woman.

"Oh my goodness," the pretty young thing exclaimed, "I'm at
the wrong house."

"Sweety, you're at the right house," the old guy
assured her. "But you're forty years too late."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Bringing Batteries on Camping Trips
Before packing electronic devices or flashlights, remove
the batteries before and store them in a ziplock bag. That
way if something accidentally gets flipped on, you won't
run down your batteries.


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





A strange tooth washed up on the shore in North Carolina a couple of years ago.
___________________________________________________

I was listening to a lady who called a radio pastor.
The pastor was a wise, grandfatherly gentleman who
has that calm reassuring voice that can melt all fear.
The lady, who was obviously crying, said, "Pastor, I
was born blind, and I've been blind all my life. I don't
mind being blind but I have some well meaning friends
who tell me that if I had more faith I could be healed."

The pastor asked her, "Tell me, do you carry one of
those white tipped canes?"

"Yes I do," she replied.

"Then the next time someone says that, hit them over
the head with the cane," He said. "Then tell them 'If
they had more faith that wouldn't hurt!'"
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned
around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it
finally took off.

A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the
problem?"

"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," she
explained.

"Oh, and it took a while to fix it," said the passenger.

"Not exactly." replied the stewardess, "It just took us a bit to
find a deaf pilot."
____________________________________________________



Today, July 7 in
1754 Kings College opened in New York City. It was renamed Columbia
College 30 years later. 

1846 U.S. annexation of California was proclaimed at Monterey after
the surrender of a Mexican garrison. 

1862 The first railroad post office was tested on the Hannibal and
St. Joseph Railroad in Missouri. 

1885 G. Moore Peters patented the cartridge-loading machine. 

1917 Aleksandr Kerensky formed a provisional government in Russia. 

1920 A device known as the radio compass was used for the first
time on a U.S. Navy airplane near Norfolk, VA. 

1930 Construction began on Boulder Dam, later Hoover Dam, on the
Colorado River. 

1937 Japanese forces invaded China. 

1946 Mother Frances Xavier Cabrini was canonized as the first
American saint. 

1950 The U.N. Security Council authorized military aid for South
Korea. 

1969 Canada's House of Commons gave final approval to a measure
that made the French language equal to English throughout the
national government. 

1981 U.S. President Reagan announced he was nominating Arizona
Judge Sandra Day O'Connor to become the first female justice on the
U.S. Supreme Court. 

1983 Eleven-year-old Samantha Smith of Manchester, Maine, left for
a visit to the Soviet Union at the personal invitation of Soviet
leader Yuri V. Andropov. 

1987 Public testimony at the Iran-Contra hearing began. 

1994 Amazon.com, Inc. was founded in Seattle, Washington under the
name "Cadabra." 

1998 A jury in Santa Monica, CA, convicted Mikail Markhasev of
murdering Ennis Cosby, Bill Cosby's only son, during a roadside
robbery. 

1999 In Sierra Leone, President Ahmad Tejan Kabbah and rebel leader
Foday Sankoh signed a pact to end the nation's civil war. 

2000 Cisco Systems Inc. announced that it would buy Netiverse Inc.
for $210 million in stock. It was the 13th time Cisco had purchased
a company in 2000. 

2000 Amazon.com announced that they had sold almost 400,000 copies
of "Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire," making it the biggest
selling book in e-tailing history. 

2003 In Liberia, a team of U.S. military experts arrived at the
U.S. embassy compound to assess whether to deploy troops as part of
a peacekeeping force in the country.

2018  smiled.





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Firefox problems 
Friday, July 6, 2018, 08:41 AM
Posted by Administrator
		







---

Good Morning, !
Today is Friday,  July 6
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
When his waitress told him he was too drunk 
for another drink, he got violent.
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 6 in
1923 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was established. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



If nobody spoke unless he had something to say, the human race
would very soon lose the use of speech.
--- W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)

People with courage and character always
seem sinister to the rest.
--- Hermann Hesse
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________
You Know You're Living in 2018 When... 

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is
that they don't answer their e-mail.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see
if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of
the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have
the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for
panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your
coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward
this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9
on this list.

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

Classic!
Just as John got in the door, after staying at the bar a bit
too long, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and
cuckooed 3 times. He realized his wife would probably wake
up, so he cuckooed another 9 times. He was really proud of
himself, having a quick witty solution, even when smashed, to
escape a possible conflict.

Next morning the wife asked him what time he got in and he
told her 12 o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew!

Got away with that one!

She then told him that they needed a new cuckoo clock. When
he asked her why, she said "Well, it cuckooed 3 times, said
'Oh, f@#%,' cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat,
cuckooed another 3 times, snickered, and finally cuckooed
twice more, and then it farted."
___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

William Banks,
49,
Spartanburg,
South Carolina

When his waitress told him he was too drunk 
for another drink, he got violent.

A Wild Wing Cafe waitress made the call to stop serving drinks to a
customer who was too intoxicated, and when the man was cut off, it
was the start to a violent, drunken outburst, police say.

William Banks was outraged when he was denied another alcoholic
beverage shortly after midnight June 22 at the popular chicken wing
restaurant, according to the Spartanburg Police Department.

In less than an hour after being refused service, the South
Carolina man threatened to shoot multiple members of the Wild Wing
Cafe staff, assaulted his waitress, then told the officer arresting
him he would get him fired, police reported.

The waitress said she cut Banks off from alcohol after observing
how drunk he was, causing him to become "irate and (he) started
cussing her out when she refused him anymore alcohol," according to
the police report.

Police said Banks then tried to order a drink from the manager, who
also refused him service because of his intoxicated state. Banks
responded by swearing at the manager and "threatened to shoot her,"
police say.

Banks then returned his focus to his waitress, directing
vulgarities at her and "threatening to shoot her, as well," police
reported.

As the waitress tried to walk away, Banks struck her in the head,
according to the incident report, which said a bartender witnessed
the assault.

At this point, the son of a staff member removed Banks from the
restaurant by "physically carrying him outside," police said.

The responding police officer found Banks walking down the street
and detained the 49-year-old man, according to an incident report.

A person who was with Banks at the restaurant during the incident
told police "Banks was extremely intoxicated ... and knew Banks was
wrong," the report said.

After the waitress identified Banks, he was arrested. As Banks was
being taken to the Spartanburg County Detention Center, he
threatened the officer's job, saying "he knew who worked at the
Spartanburg Police Department," according to the incident report.

Banks, of Spartanburg, was charged with third-degree assault and
battery, and trespassing after notice, according to jail records,
which showed he was released the same day without bond.



Tech Support Pits
From: Frieda
Re: Firefox poblem

Dear Webby,
  What's up with Firefox. All of a sudden when I try tiopen some
mail I get a pop up saying 
couldn't load XPCOM. If Firefox decided to dump XP computers they
gave me no warning.
 
  I went to Firefox sometime ago because Google kept saying a lot
of my contacts did not have a secure site. Everything was fine
until a couple days ago.
  How are you getting along? Sure has been an odd summer down here
in States, weatherwise.
 
Any thoughts on my problem will be appreciated.
Frieda

Dear Frieda
Your FireFox is trashed.

This method has worked for most of the users and it is very easy to
follow. Get into Chrome or Internet Explorer or another browser,
simply head over to the following address to download the latest
setup file for Firefox, run it and install.
https://www.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/new/

By the way, if you use Chrome or Gmail, the message of sites not
being secure is meaningless. It just tells you that some sites,
that don't need security, like for example the Humor Letter, don't
have the same security as the bank. So what? You are not entering
your bank info or your bra size in the Humor Letter.
Don't worry about that.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

The company next door was encountering so many errors,
they are now seriously considering buying a computer to
blame them on.



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Thanks to Kati for this picture:

Finally found a way to stabilize my weight!
I can't believe I was doing it wrong all these years.
We must get the word out.
Kati


____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Store Craft Supplies in Tackle Boxes
By ramya [1 Post, 1 Comment]
I use fishing tackle boxes from Walmart or Kmart to store craft
supplies or sewing notions like threads, buttons, needles, beads,
etc. I also use one box for kids art supplies like crayons,
pencils, markers, erasers, etc. They have adjustable plastic
dividers that can be fixed to the size of the item you need to
store. I store my earrings and jewelery in one and makeup
accessories in another. These boxes have handles to carry them
around easily and also stack well for easy storage.


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





A brief compendium of art nouveau treasures.
___________________________________________________

Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears.
"Oh Marie," she said to her maid,
"I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair
with his secretary."

"I don't believe it for one minute."  Marie snapped.
"You're just saying that to make me jealous."
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


Thanks to Phil for this story:
My two-year-old daughter, Paige, was with her mother while
her older sister was being examined by a dentist.  Paige
kept herself busy playing with toys in the waiting room until
she noticed that her mom was resting, her eyes closed.

With about six other patients waiting, Paige marched up to
her mother, looked her straight in the face and shook her
shoulder.

"Mommy," she yelled, "wake up!  This is not church!"

My wife, Lani, woke from her doze to the sound of the other
patients laughing hysterically.
____________________________________________________



Today, July 6 in
1483 King Richard III of England was crowned. 

1699 Captain William Kidd, the pirate, was captured in Boston, MA,
and deported back to England. 

1777 British forces captured Fort Ticonderoga during the American
Revolution. 

1858 Lyman Blake patented the shoe manufacturing machine. 

1885 Louis Pasteur successfully tested his anti-rabies vaccine. The
child used in the test later became the director of the Pasteur
Institute. 

1905 Fingerprints were exchanged for the first time between
officials in Europe and the U.S. The person in question was John
Walker. 

1917 During World War I, Arab forces led by T.E. Lawrence captured
the port of Aqaba from the Turks. 

1919 A British dirigible landed in New York at Roosevelt Field. It
completed the first crossing of the Atlantic Ocean by an airship. 

1923 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was established. 

1928 "The Lights of New York" was previewed in New York's Strand
Theatre. It was the first all-talking movie. 

1942 Diarist Anne Frank and her family took refuge from the Nazis
in Amsterdam. 

1945 Nicaragua became the first nation to formally accept the
United Nations Charter. 

1947 "Candid Microphone" began airing on ABC radio. 

1966 Malawi became a republic within the Commonwealth with Dr.
Hastings Banda as its first president. 

1967 The Biafran War erupted. The war lasted two-and-a-half years.
About 600,000 people died. 

1981 Former President of Argentina Isabel Peron was freed after
five years of house arrest by a federal court. 

1981 The Dupont Company announced an agreement to purchase Conoco,
Inc. (Continental Oil Co.) for $7 billion. At the time it was the
largest merger in corporate history. 

1985 The submarine Nautilus arrived in Groton, Connecticut. The
vessel had been towed from Mare Island Naval Shipyard. 

1988 Several popular beaches were closed in New York City due to
medical waste and other debris began washing up on the seashores. 

1989 The U.S. Army destroyed its last Pershing 1-A missiles at an
ammunition plant in Karnack, TX. The dismantling was under the
terms of the 1987 Intermediate-range Nuclear Forces Treaty. 

1997 The Mars Pathfinder released Sojourner, a robot rover on the
surface of Mars. The spacecraft landed on the red planet on July
4th. 

1997 In Cambodia, Second Prime Minister Hun Sen ousted First Prime
Minister Norodom Ranariddh and claimed to have the capital under
his control. 

1998 Protestants rioted in many parts of Northern Ireland after
British authorities blocked an Orange Order march in Portadown. 

2000 A jury awarded former NHL player Tony Twist $24 million for
the unauthorized use of his name in the comic book Spawn and the
HBO cartoon series. Co-defendant HBO settled with Twist out of
court for an undisclosed amount. 

2018  smiled.




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Alternate default picture viewer 
Thursday, July 5, 2018, 09:17 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday,  July 5

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
SC crook out of jail for 30 minutes   
then stole a police car
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 5 in
1951 Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented the junction transistor. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
--- E E Cummings (1894 - 1962) 
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Tom had proposed to young Maureen and was being
interviewed by his prospective father-in-law.
"Do you think you are earning enough to
support a family?" the older man asked the suitor.

"Yes, sir", replied Tom, "I'm sure I am."

"Think carefully now," said Maureen's father warningly.
"There are twelve of us."
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________
Interview with Yogi Berra

Interviewer: Can you explain jazz? 

Yogi: I can't, but I will. 90% of all jazz is half improvisation.
The other half is the part people play while others are playing
something they never played with anyone who played that part. So if
you play the wrong part, its right. If you play the right part, it
might be right if you play it wrong enough. But if you play it too
right, it's wrong. 

Interviewer: I don't understand. 

Yogi: Anyone who understands jazz knows that you can't understand
it. It's too complicated. That's whats so simple about it. 

Interviewer: Do you understand it? 

Yogi: No. That's why I can explain it. If I understood it, I
wouldnt know anything about it. 

Interviewer: Are there any great jazz players alive today? 

Yogi: No. All the great jazz players alive today are dead. Except
for the ones that are still alive. But so many of them are dead,
that the ones that are still alive are dying to be like the ones
that are dead. Some would kill for it. 

Interviewer: What is syncopation? 

Yogi: That's when the note that you should hear now happens either
before or after you hear it. In jazz, you don't hear notes when
they happen because that would be some other type of music. Other
types of music can be jazz, but only if they're the same as
something different from those other kinds. 

Interviewer: Now I really don't understand. 

Yogi: I haven't taught you enough for you to not understand jazz 
___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Davon Deangelo Fuller
23,
Holly Hill,
South Carolina

SC crook out of jail for 30 minutes   
then stole a police car

A South Carolina man was back behind bars less than 24 hours after
being released from a Lowcountry jail.

Davon Deangelo Fuller did not waste any time getting back into
trouble with law enforcement.

The 23-year-old Holly Hill man was released from the Hill-Finklea
Detention Center at 9:30 p.m. Monday, abcnews4.com reported.

By 9:55 p.m. Fuller had not left the parking lot, but Moncks Corner
Police said he already committed a crime, according to
live5news.com.

Fuller stole a car   a Berkeley County Sheriff's Office deputy's
car   from the detention center parking lot, live5news.com
reported.

Police said Fuller was caught on surveillance footage hanging
around outside the jail after his release. The video showed him
attempting to open several cars, according to abcnews4.com, which
said he wasn't successful until he got to the patrol car of
Berkeley County Sheriff's deputy Javon Dingle.

The car was unlocked, and a spare set of keys was not the only
thing inside, live5news.com reported. Police said that Dingle's
service pistol was also in the vehicle when Fuller stole the car.

After viewing the surveillance footage, it didn't take law
enforcement long to locate Fuller, who was arrested Tuesday, "in
possession of the car and the gun," in St. Stephen, where police
reported he told officers "he stole the vehicle because he needed a
ride," according to abcnews4.com.

Fuller was charged with grand larceny (value more than $2,000 but
less than $10,000), according to jail records.

Fuller, who had been in jail for unlawful carrying of a pistol, was
behind bars again, this time in the Berkeley County Detention
Center, according to the sheriff's office. He has not had a bond
hearing for the most recent charge.



Tech Support Pits
From: Joyce
Re: Choice of picture viewer

Dear Webby
Whenever someone sends me a picture attachment, the
Windows picture viewer pops up with the attachment. How
can I change it so that my Picasa shows the picture instead
of the Windows picture viewer? Is it even possible to change
it to something other than that?
Thanks and have a great weekend!
Sincerely,
Joyce

Dear Joyce
Go to MyComputer
Tools
Folder Options
DON'T do what Microsoft says at http://support.microsoft.com/kb/307859
they are a bit confused about it. Instead click on
File Types

After a while, it will fill it's window with all the file types and
shows what programs are associated with them.
Find JPG, and change it's file association to Picasa
then do the same for GIF and PNG

When done, hit OK until you are out of all that.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one
else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't
even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in
the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they
figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs
despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the
past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually
find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged
from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb
would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE
CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?!
BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A
WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE
12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE
AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS . . .

I'm sorry. . .what did you ask me?



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



A young and arrogant pilot wanted to "show off" on the
aviation frequencies as he was approaching an airfield
during the night.  So, he disregarded policy and, instead
of making an official request to the tower, he said,
"Guess who?"

The air traffic controller switched the field lights off
and replied, "Guess where?"
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Organized Camping Meals 
Here's a tip to save to help you organize your meals when
camping. Measure ingredients for a recipe into small
ziplock bags and then place those into one large bag with
a label. It makes meal preparation a snap and ensures that
you don't pack a lot of extra ingredients.


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





A brief compendium of art nouveau treasures.
___________________________________________________

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about
a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside-down
pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so
impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner.
After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000 for
the duck and the pot.

Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in
anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a
whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!"

"So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light
the candle under the pot?"
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital with
heart trou8ble. The family called their pastor to stand with them. 

As the pastor stood next to the bed, Fred's condition appeared to
deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write
on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper,
and Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he
died.  The pastor thought it best not to look at the note at that
time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

Several days later, at the funeral, as the pastor was finishing
the eulogy, he realized that he was wearing the same jacket that
he was wearing when Fred had died. He said, "you know, ol' Fred
handed me a note just before he died.  I haven't looked at it,
but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there
for us all. Let's have his son read it to us!"

His son opened the note, and read aloud,
"You're standing on my oxygen tube, you useless windbag!"
____________________________________________________



Today, July 5 in
1806 A Spanish army repelled the British during their attempt to
retake Buenos Aires, Argentina. 

1811 Venezuela became the first South American country to declare
independence from Spain. 

1814 U.S. troops under Jacob Brown defeated a superior British
force at Chippewa, Canada. 

1830 France occupied the North African city of Algiers. 

1832 The German government began curtailing freedom of the press
after German Democrats advocate a revolt against Austrian rule. 

1839 British naval forces bombarded Dingai on Zhoushan Island in
China and then occupied it. 

1863 U.S. Federal troops occupied Vicksburg, MS, and distributed
supplies to the citizens. 

1865 William Booth founded the Salvation Army in London. 

1865 The U.S. Secret Service Division was created to combat
currency counterfeiting, forging and the altering of currency and
securities.

1892 Andrew Beard was issued a patent for the rotary engine. 

1916 Adelina and August Van Buren started on the first successful
transcontinental motorcycle tour to be attempted by two women. They
started in New York City and arrived in San Diego, CA, on September
12, 1916. 

1935 U.S. President Roosevelt signed the National Labor Relations
Act into law. The act authorized labor to organize for the purpose
of collective bargaining. 

1940 During World War II, Britain and the Vichy government in
France broke diplomatic relations. 

1941 German troops reached the Dnieper River in the Soviet Union. 

1943 The battle of Kursk began as German tanks attack the Soviet
salient. It was the largest tank battle in history. 

1946 The bikini bathing suit, popularized by Louis Reard, made its
debut during a fashion show at the Molitor Pool in Paris. Micheline
Bernardini wore the two-piece outfit. 

1948 Britain's National Health Service Act went into effect,
providing government-financed medical and dental care. 

1950 U.S. forces engaged the North Koreans for the first time at
Osan, South Korea. 

1951 Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented the
junction transistor. 

1962 Algeria became independent after 132 years of French rule. 

1975 Arthur Ashe became the first black man to win a Wimbledon
singles title when he defeated Jimmy Connors. 

1984 The U.S. Supreme Court weakened the 70-year-old "exclusionary
rule," deciding that evidence seized with defective court warrants
could be used against defendants in criminal trials. 

1991 Regulators shut down the Pakistani-managed Bank of Credit and
Commerce International (BCCI) in eight countries. The charge was
fraud, drug money laundering and illegal infiltration into the U.S.
banking system. 

1995 The U.S. Justice Department decided not to take antitrust
action against Ticketmaster. 

1998 Japan joined U.S. and Russia in space exploration with the
launching of the Planet-B probe to Mars. 

2000 Jordanian security agents shot and killed a Syrian hijacker
after he threw a grenade that exploded and wounded 15 passengers
aboard a Royal Jordanian airliner. 

2000 10 Bengal tigers, including 7 rare white tigers, died at the
Nandankanan Zoo in India. The tigers died of trypanosomiasis
(sleeping sickness). 

2000 Euan Blair, the oldest son of British prime minister Tony
Blair, was arrested after police found him drunk and lying on the
ground in London's Leicester Square. 

2018  smiled.




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Soft foculs for selection 
Wednesday, July 4, 2018, 08:28 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday,  July 4
Happy Independence Day for the US!


Happy Independence Day for the Philippines!


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
 Florida woman tries to abduct kids from park,
 punches pregnant woman
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 4 in
1776 The amended Declaration of Independence, prepared by Thomas
Jefferson, was approved and signed by John Hancock, the President
of the Continental Congress in America. 

1946 The Philippines achieved full independence 
for the first time in over four hundred years. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
--- Honore de Balzac (1799 - 1850) 

In mathematics you don't understand things. 
You just get used to them.
--- Johann von Neumann (1903 - 1957)
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A child was watching his mother sift through and delete a long list
of junk E-mail on the computer screen. "This reminds me of the
Lord's Prayer," the child said. "What do you mean?" "You know. That
part about 'deliver us from E-mail.' "

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



Elena Karneeva
_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

>From Mickey
My boyfriend and I met online and we'd been dating for over a year.
I introduced Hans to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that
we me over the Internet. He asked Hans what kind of line he had
used to pick me up. Ever the geek, Hans naively replied," I just
used a regular 20 Mbps DSL modem."   
___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Sarah Freeman,
34,
Port Orange
Florida

 Florida woman tries to abduct kids from park,
 punches pregnant woman

A 34-year-old Port Orange woman on Monday afternoon tried to abduct
two children from a park in the Wilbur-By-The-Sea neighborhood
before punching a pregnant woman, the Volusia County Sheriff's
Office said.

Deputies said they were called shortly before 1:30 p.m. to Toronita
Avenue Beach Park at Toronita and South Atlantic avenues after two
parents reported they had to pull their children away from Sarah
Freeman, Sheriff's Office spokesman Andrew Gant said.

Investigators said Freeman approached a 7-year-old girl, told her,
"This isn’t a Florida trip you’re going to want to remember," and
tried to grab her by the towel she was wearing.

The girl's mother, who is six months pregnant, pulled her daughter
away from Freeman, who hit the woman during the struggle, deputies
said.

Investigators said Freeman approached a man whose backside she
struck with a stick before saying, "We don’t know you around here."

"She told his 5-year-old son, 'It will be all right. He's not your
dad,' grabbed him by the arm and started to walk away," Gant said.
"The father intervened, got his son back and took him back to his
truck, where Freeman tried to force her way in through a passenger
window."

Deputies said Freeman turned to another woman and said, "I'll just
take your kid, then."

The woman took her child into their vehicle and locked the doors,
investigators said.

"Once in custody, she mumbled and made unintelligible statements to
a deputy, who noticed she appeared to be under the influence of
some unknown substance," Gant said.

Freeman was booked into the Volusia County Branch Jail on two
counts of attempted kidnapping and one count each of aggravated
battery on a pregnant victim, burglary of a conveyance and battery.
She is being held without bail.



Tech Support Pits
From: Britta
Re: More on Soft focus for picture

Dear Webby
Did somebody rudely interrupt you as you were explaining
how to make a sharp spot in a soft focus picture?
What is the next step?
Britta

Dear Britta
If somebody did, I would never tell on her '-)
Select the relevant part with the lassoo or any selecting tool,
Th0en the next step is to play and experiment.
Do you want the irrelevant parts of that machine, or whatever
you are describing, to be shaded, as if only the relevant
part was in the sun ?  Then reduce brightness.
Do you want a light mist over the irrelevant parts?
Then increase brightness and reduce contrast.

Just play and experiment until yuo have the results that you
want. Then stick with that setting.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

A lady lost her handbag at the mall.   found it
and returned it to her.

Looking in her purse, she said, "Hmm, that's funny.  When I
lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it.  Now there are twenty
$1 bills."

 replied, "That IS funny.  The last time I found
a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



A voice on the bank loudspeaker announced: "We will be
testing the speaker system to make sure it will work pro-
perly in case of emergency."

My confidence in this safety precaution faded when the
voice added: "If you are unable to hear this announcement,
please contact the main office."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Loading a Moving Truck 
If you rent a moving truck, these tips may be helpful to
consider as you load it. Make sure to stack breakable
items towards the top and put the items that you want to
get to first in the truck last. Load items as tightly as
possible to prevent boxes from shifting while driving.
If you have any large furniture or appliances that may
have a tendency to tip or slide when driving up or a
down a hill, make sure to tie them to the wall.


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





Inside the deserted mansions of an American heiress.
___________________________________________________

>Thanks to Sarah for this one:

(She's not worried that her mother will read his submission.
She's not on the net, because she is afraid she might miss
a call from her)

Phone rings.
JEWISH MOTHER picks up the phone and answers)

Jewish Mother
Hello?

Daughter
Hi Mom. Can I leave the kids with you tonight?

Jewish Mother
You're going out?

Daughter
Yes.

Jewish Mother
With whom?

Daughter
With a friend.

Jewish Mother
I don't know why you left your husband. He is such a
good man.

Daughter
I didn't leave him. He left me!

Jewish Mother
You let him leave you, and now you go out with
anybodies and nobodies.

Daughter
I do not go out with anybody. Can I bring over the kids?

Jewish Mother
I never left you to go out with anybody except your father.

Daughter
There are lots of things that you did and I don't.

Jewish Mother
What are you hinting at?

Daughter
Nothing. I just want to know if I can bring the kids over
tonight.

Jewish Mother
You're going to stay the night with him? What will your
husband say if he finds out?

Daughter
My EX husband. I don't think he would be bothered.
From the day he left me, he probably never slept alone!

Jewish Mother
So you're going to sleep over at this loser's place?

Daughter
He's not a loser.

Jewish Mother
A man who goes out with a divorced woman with
children is a loser and a parasite.

Daughter
I don't want to argue. Should I bring over the kids or not?

Jewish Mother
Poor children with such a mother.

Daughter
Such a what?

Jewish Mother
With no stability. No wonder your husband left you.

Daughter
ENOUGH !!!

Jewish Mother
Don't scream at me. You probably scream at this loser too!

Daughter
Now you're worried about the loser?

Jewish Mother
Ah, so you see he's a loser. I spotted him immediately.

Daughter
Goodbye, mother.

Jewish Mother
Wait! Don't hang up! When are you bringing them over?

Daughter
I'm not bringing them over! I'm not going out!

Jewish Mother
If you never go out, how do you expect to meet anyone?
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The
doctor gave him a thorough examination, found
absolutely nothing physically wrong with him,
and then told him,
"Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia,
you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you."

"I know," said the man, "but I can't. She will divorce me
if I don't.
____________________________________________________



Today, July 4 in
1776 The amended Declaration of Independence, prepared by Thomas
Jefferson, was approved and signed by John Hancock, the President
of the Continental Congress in America. 

1802 The U.S. Military Academy officially opened at West Point, NY.

1803 The Louisiana Purchase was announced in newspapers. The
property was purchased, by the U.S. from France, was for $15
million (or 3 cents an acre). The "Corps of Discovery," led by
Meriwether Lewis and William Clark, began the exploration of the
territory on May 14, 1804. 

1817 Construction began on the Erie Canal, to connect Lake Erie and
the Hudson River. 

1845 American writer Henry David Thoreau began his two-year
experiment in simple living at Walden Pond, near Concord, MA. 

1848 In Washington, DC, the cornerstone for the Washington Monument
was laid. 

1863 The Confederate town of Vicksburg, MS, surrendered to General
Ulysses S. Grant. 

1884 Bullfighting was introduced in the U.S. in Dodge City, KS. 

1886 The first rodeo in America was held at Prescott, AZ. 

1892 The first double-decked street car service was inaugurated in
San Diego, CA. 

1894 After seizing power, Judge Stanford B. Dole declared Hawaii a
republic. 

1901 William H. Taft became the American governor of the
Philippines. 

1910 Race riots broke out all over the United States after African-
American Jack Johnson knocked out Jim Jeffries in a heavyweight
boxing match. 

1934 Boxer Joe Louis won his first professional fight. 

1934 At Mount Rushmore, George Washington's face was dedicated. 

1946 The Philippines achieved full independence for the first time
in over four hundred years. 

1955 The first king cobra snakes born in captivity in the U.S.
hatched at the Bronx Zoo in New York City. 

1957 The U.S. Postal Service issued the 4¢ Flag stamp. 

1959 The 49-star U.S. flag became official. 

1960 The 50-star U.S. flag made its debut in Philadelphia, PA. 

1966 U.S. President Johnson signed the Freedom of Information Act,
which went into effect the following year. 

1976 The U.S. celebrated its Bicentennial. 

1982 The Soviets performed a nuclear test at Eastern Kazakhl
Semipalitinsk. 

1987 Klaus Barbie, the former Gestapo chief known as the "Butcher
of Lyon," was convicted by a French court of crimes against
humanity and sentenced to life in prison. 

1997 The Mars Pathfinder, an unmanned spacecraft, landed on Mars. A
rover named Sojourner was deployed to gather data about the
surface
of the planet. 

1997 Ferry service between Manhattan and Staten Island was made
free of charge. Previously, the charge had ranged from 5 cents to
50 cents. 

2004 In New York, the cornerstone of the Freedom Tower (One World
Trade Center) was laid on the former World Trade Center site. 

2005 NASA's Deep Impact spacecraft took pictures as a space probe
smashed into the Tempel 1 comet. The mission was aimed at learning
more about comets that formed from the leftover buidling blocks of
the solar system. The Deep Impact mission launched on January 12,
2005. 

2009 North Korea launched seven ballistic missiles into waters off
its east coast that defied U.N. resolutions. 

2009 The Statue of Liberty's crown reopened to visitors. It had
been closed to the public since 2001. 

2018  smiled.





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Autoresponder nuisance 
Tuesday, July 3, 2018, 07:45 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday,  July 3

The people in the US, who are still loyal subjects to the
Imperial British measurement system, and have not yet
gotten permission from the Queen to upgrade to metric,
will have to wait another day for their Independence
day. 

So it's my day to razz you about your quaint
BTU (British Thermal Unit), Fahrenheit, Feet, Cubits, 
Yards, Furlongs, heaped and struck bushels, and all the
neat stuff we read about in the old fairy tales and history
books. 

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida woman sentenced for hiding 
handcuff key in chicken sandwich
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 3 in
1939 Chic Young’s comic strip character, "Blondie" was first heard
on CBS radio. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
To get back my youth I would do anything in the world, 
except take exercise, get up early, or be respectable.
--- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that
you gave me a pearl necklace for our anniversary.  What do you
think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to
his wife.

Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of
Dreams."

The husband had to visit the hospital after that.
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



Earth July 2
_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

    KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO..

Alabama
Hell Yeah, We Have Electricity.


Alaska
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!


Arizona
Yeah, But It's A Dry Heat.


Arkansas
Lituracy Ain't Everythang.


California
By 30, Our Women Have More
Plastic Than Your Honda.


Colorado
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.


Connecticut
Like Massachusetts , only smaller


Delaware
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.


Florida
Ask Us About Our Grandkids
And Our Voting Skills.


Georgia
We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.


Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)


Idaho
More Than Just Potatoes...
Well, Okay, We're Not, But The
Potatoes Sure Are Real Good


Illinois
Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"


Indiana
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free


Iowa
We Do Amazing Things With Corn


Kansas
First Of The Rectangle States


Kentucky
Five Million People;
Fifteen Last Names


Louisiana
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos,
But That's Our Tourism Campaign.


Maine
We're Really Cold, But We
Have Cheap Lobster


Maryland
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It


Massachusetts
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden 's And Our
Senators Are More Corrupt!


Michigan
First Line Of Defense Against The Canadians


Minnesota
10,000 Lakes... And 10 Zillion Mosquitoes


Mississippi
Come visit And Feel Better About Your Own State


Missouri
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work


Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing
Crazies, and Honest Elections!


Nebraska
Ask About Our State Motto Contest


Nevada
Hookers and Poker!


New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone


New Jersey
You Want A ##$%##! Motto?
I Got Your ##$%##! Motto Right here!


New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets


New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right To An Attorney...
And No Right To Self Defense!


North Carolina
Tobacco Is A Vegetable


North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!


Ohio
At Least We're Not Michigan


Oklahoma
Like The Play, But No Singing


Oregon
Spotted Owl.. It's What's For Dinner


Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal


Rhode Island
We're Not REALLY An Island


South Carolina
Remember The Civil War?
Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet


South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota


Tennessee
Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum


Texas
Se Hable Ingles


Utah
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus


Vermont
Too liberal for the Kennedy's


Virginia
Who Says Government Stiffs And
Slackjawed Yokels Don't Mix?


Washington
Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!


West Virginia
One Big Happy Family...Really!


Wisconsin
Come Cut the Cheese!


Wyoming
Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared
Home of Brokeback Mtn.


The District of Columbia
The Work-Free Drug Place !


BC
Like California but more rain


ALBERTA
Where your natural gas comes from


SASKATCHEWAN
We got grain elevators taller than our mountains


MANITOBA
Hundreds of lakes and gazillions of mosquitos


ONTARIO
Center of the universe


QUEBEC
Everybody assumes you are an asshole, 
but racism is socially bacceptable


NEW BRUNSWICK
You are sandwiched between French assholes 
and drunken Celtic fiddlers


NOVA SCOTIA
Everyone is a fiddle player 


PRINCE EDWARD ISLAND
You can drive across the the province in two minutes 


NEWFOUNDLAND
Reason for the Newfie jokes


YUKON TERRITORY
Gold, fish and beer. And Midnight Sun.


NORTHWEST TERRITORY
Big ass diamond mine and a Million lakes


NUNAVUT
No scenery but lots of photogenic Polar bears 

___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Trisha Denlinger, 48,
Baldwin,
Florida

Florida woman sentenced for hiding 
handcuff key in chicken sandwich

The Baldwin woman accused of concealing a plastic handcuff key in a
chicken sandwich at Florida State Prison has now been sentenced to
30 months in prison.

WOKV told you back in April that 48-year-old Trisha Denlinger had
been arrested. She has now pleaded “nolo contendere” in Bradford
County to unlawful possession of a handcuff key and conveying tools
to aid escape and been sentenced to 30 months, with credit for 60
days time served. 

Denlinger arranged to visit her husband at Florida State Prison,
where he was an inmate, according to her arrest affidavit. Records
say she purchased a sealed chicken sandwich, unsealed it, heated it
in a microwave, and then gave it to a Correctional Officer to
search. Investigators say the Officer found a plastic handcuff key
in that sandwich. 

The arrest affidavit says Denlinger went through three prison
fences, four gates, and a metal detector. Her person items had gone
through an X-ray scanner, per the Florida Department of
Corrections.



Tech Support Pits
From  Susan
RE: Auto responders

Dear Webby
Hi there, your daily letter is not only funny but invariably 
useful tech-wise!  As always, many thanks (and a 
question, of course)!

Is there an auto-responder software that you recommend?  
I only want it for the two months this summer when we will 
be out of the country and away from e-mail (yay).  

Thanks, Susan

Dear Susan
Autoresponders are a nuisance and will get you blocked.

Since your friends seem to be more or less literate, send them an
email telling them that you will be off-line till fall.

Send the email to yourself, and put the entire address book into
the BCC. 

Half of them will forget in two minutes and mail you anyway, but
will rememeber when there is no speedy reply.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

Out canvassing for a charity, my friend Irene and I knocked
at a door. It was opened by a huge bear of a man, who was
wearing a large black bra, over his shirt.

Irene, being a devout  Catholic, crossed herself, backed up
ready to make a fast retreat.  I asked politely for a donation,
trying to keep my eyes from wandering to his protruding
undergarment.
He grinned evilly at me, "Wanna feel em?"

Horrified, I turned to leave, when one side of his bra came
alive with motion. Irene was now crossing herself with a
flurry, muttering, "Jaysus,  Mary and Murphy."

She was begging the saints to protect  her, when a tiny
tail flipped out of his bra.
"Oh my sweet Lord," she squealed, "He's got rats in his
boobs," bolted for the car, offering up 'Hail Mary's.' as
she tore off the porch.

An old lady came out of the house, glared at the man, who
just grinned back. He put his hands up to cradle both cups,
which were now writhing with movement.

She turned to me asking, "Did he ask you to play with them?"
"Yes", I gulped.
"Well," she said, patting my hand,  " He's not too bright,
but it's not what you think."

She ordered him to pull his bra out so I could peek inside.
Hesitantly I watched, while he pulled the garment down.
When I got a good look I burst out laughing.
Tiny muzzles with whiskers, long sinuous bodies, small
heads with  bright beady eyes, stared back at me.

"Their mama died," he explained, " This bra is the perfect
place to keep them warm."

Both cups were filled to the brim with tiny baby ferrets.



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His
wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning,
I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 250
in less then 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work.

When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure
enough there was a gift-wrapped box in the middle of the
driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to
the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new heavy duty bathroom
scale.

Ed has been missing since Friday.
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Birdbath
Use two large stackable plastic bowls. Nail one of them
onto a fence post, and set the other one into it. That way
it will be held securely in any wind, but is easy to remove
for cleaning or filling.


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





Daguerreotypes of anonymous African Americans.
___________________________________________________

The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning.
"I'm sorry," she said, "Mr. Bradford's on another line."

"This is Mr. Ingram's office," the caller said.  "We'd like
to know if he's bullish or bearish right now."

"He's talking to his wife," the secretary replied.
"Right now I'd say he's sheepish."
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

A newspaper reporter for the Los Angeles Times had received
instructions from his senior editor to get photographs of a brush
fire in the foothills of northern California. The instructions
included hurrying to the Santa Monica Airport to board a small
plane, taking some photos of the fire, and hurrying back by noon
with the story.

The reporter dressed quickly, rushed to the airport, saw the small
plane waiting on the runway, drove his car to the end of the
runway, parked, and climbed on board. Off they flew into the clear
blue skies.

At about 5,000 feet, the reporter took out his camera and said to
the man flying the plane, "Bank right and I'll take some pictures
of this fire." 

Then he heard the most frightening questions of his life, "Bank
right? How do I do that? You ARE the instructor, aren't you?"
____________________________________________________



Today, July 3 in
1608 The city of Quebec was founded by Samuel de Champlain. 

1844 Ambassador Caleb Cushing successfully negotiated a commercial
treaty with China that opened five Chinese ports to U.S. merchants
and protected the rights of American citizens in China. 

1863 The U.S. Civil War Battle of Gettysburg, PA, ended after three
days. It was a major victory for the North as Confederate troops
retreated. 

1871 The Denver and Rio Grande Western Railroad Company introduced
the first narrow-gauge locomotive. It was called the "Montezuma." 

1878 John Wise flew the first dirigible in Lancaster, PA. 

1898 During the Spanish American War, a fleet of Spanish ships in
Cuba's Santiago Harbor attempted to run a blockade of U.S. naval
forces. Nearly all of the Spanish ships were destroyed in the
battle that followed. 

1903 The first cable across the Pacific Ocean was spliced between
Honolulu, Midway, Guam and Manila. 

1930 The U.S. Congress created the U.S. Veterans Administration. 

1937 Del Mar race track opened in Del Mar, CA. 

1939 Chic Young’s comic strip character, "Blondie" was first heard
on CBS radio. 

1940 Bud Abbott and Lou Costello debuted on NBC radio. 

1944 The U.S. First Army opened a general offensive to break out of
the hedgerow area of Normandy, France. 

1944 During World War II, Soviet forces recaptured Minsk. 

1945 U.S. troops landed at Balikpapan and take Sepinggan airfield
on Borneo in the Pacific. 

1945 The first civilian passenger car built since February 1942 was
driven off the assembly line at the Ford Motor Company plant in
Detroit, MI. Production had been diverted due to World War II. 

1950 U.S. carrier-based planes attacked airfields in the Pyongyang-
Chinnampo area of North Korea in the first air-strike of the Korean
War. 

1954 Food rationing ended in Great Britain almost nine years after
the end of World War II. 

1974 The Threshold Test Ban Treaty was signed, prohibiting
underground nuclear weapons tests with yields greater than 150
kilotons. 

1981 The Associated Press ran its first story about two rare
illnesses afflicting homosexual men. One of the diseases was later
named AIDS. 

1986 U.S. President Reagan presided over a ceremony in New York
Harbor that saw the relighting of the renovated Statue of Liberty. 

1986 Mikhail Baryshnikov became a U.S. citizen at Ellis Island, New
York Harbor. 

1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush formally inaugurated the Mount
Rushmore National Memorial in South Dakota. 

2018  smiled.





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Preparing computer for trip to Europe 
Monday, July 2, 2018, 10:00 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Monday,  July 2

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Blue Martini employees call police after 
Rolex robber returns to business
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 2 in
1982 Larry Walters ("Lawnchair Larry") took flight in his homeade
airship that consisted of a lawnchair with 45 helium-filled weather
balloons attached to it. He stayed in flight for about an hour. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?
--- James Thurber (1894 - 1961)

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and 
randomly enforced.
--- Frank Zappa (1940 - 1993) 
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Thanks to Morris for this story:
One day, while driving with my then 5 year old daughter
Melanie, I beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and
looked at me as if she was demanding an explanation.

I said, "I did that by accident..."

She replied, "I know that....'cause you didn't scream
'F@#$%&g A********!' after beeping!"
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

These were actual hospital patient reports...enjoy! 

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she
was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a
year.

6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears
to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in
1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for
physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
___________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Kira White, 23,
Miami,
Florida

Blue Martini employees call police after 
Rolex robber returns to business

A 23-year-old woman was arrested early Friday, nearly two weeks
after she stole $65,000 in jewelry from a man she met at the Blue
Martini bar at The Shops at Mary Brickell Village, authorities
said.

According to an arrest report, the victim, Israel Sosa, met Kira
White while standing near the VIP section of the bar around 1 a.m.
June 16.

Police said they interviewed several employees, one of whom said
they served White and the victim several bottles. 

The employee noticed White would not drink from the glasses and
would just push the glass aside, the arrest report stated.

Police said White and Sosa left the bar as it was closing and the
victim told White he was going to his hotel and that he would pay a
driver to take her back home.

But White told him she wanted to hang out for a little longer, so
she accompanied Sosa back to his hotel, authorities said.

Surveillance video from the hotel shows Sosa walking into an
elevator with the woman.

Sosa, who is from New Jersey, told Local 10 News reporter Nicole
Perez via Facetime that he didn't realize White, whose name he
thought was Meghan, had already stolen his gold chain.

Police said the two had another drink in the hotel room and Sosa
left his drink unattended as he used the restroom.

Sosa told authorities he woke up several hours later and discovered
that White had left, taking with her his $30,000 Cuban-link gold
chain and his $30,000 Rolex watch, which had a $5,000 medallion on
it. The victim said she also took $5,000 in $100 bills that were
inside his wallet.

"I ran downstairs and told the front desk at the hotel," Sosa said.
"They were, like, dumbfounded, and I was like, 'We need to call the
police. This lady just took my belongings.'" 

Surveillance video from the hotel shows a woman, believed to be
White, coming out of the elevator alone and rummaging through what
appears to be a bag before she pulls out a towel. 

Sosa told Local 10 News that he had left his diamond Rolex on top
of a towel inside his hotel room. 

"She gave me another drink. The last thing I recall, she said, 'I'm
going to use the restroom.' And then I walked up- there was a watch
I had- my diamond watch on top of a towel. And when I jumped up
around 7:30, I realized the towel was gone with the watch," Sosa
said.  

A Blue Martini employee told Local 10 News that a member of the
nightclub's security team spotted White walking on the street below
the business early Friday and notified authorities.

White was arrested on a grand theft charge. 



Tech Support Pits
From: Richard
Re: Computer for Europe

Dear Webby
I have to go to Europe for six month. Can my computer be
adapted to work over there, or would it be better to buy one
there? I also have an Iomega remote hard drive. Does that
one work there?
Thanks
Richard

Dear Richard
Yes, they all work just fine in Europe. Take along the power
bar that you use now, but cut the plug off. When you get there,
go to the nearest hardware store or supermarket and buy a
regular plug. Each country there has a different plug, and
some countries have different ones in different regions.
All that talk about a united and standardized Europe is just
BS. The only thing they all have in common is a dislike for
Americans, and usually also a fair bit of envy.

Get their local plug and attach it to the power bar cord.
Computers and Laptop chargers are all rated 100-250 Volt.
So, don't worry about the voltage.

The Iomega remote hard drive doesn't care what voltage
you power it with. It adapts automatically for anything
between 100 and 240. The newer remote hard drives are powered by
their USB connection and don't even have a separate power supply.

You COULD get an adapter for the area that you go to,
but they cost 8 - 10 times more than an ordinary power
plug, plus shipping.

If you are concerned about the remote hard drive causing problems
at airport security, you can just get a few 64 GB camera chips and
put your important files onto those. They are considerably lighter
when carrying your carry-on through a few miles of hard airport
corridors.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded
man on a small island, shouting and desperately waving
his hands.

"Who is it?" a passenger asks the captain.

"I've no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes nuts."



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



When her late husband's will was read, a widow learned he
had left the bulk of his fortune to another woman.

Enraged, she rushed to change the inscription on her spouse's
tombstone.

"Sorry, lady," said the stonecutter. "I inscribed 'Rest in Peace'
on your orders. I can't change it now."

"Very well," she said grimly. "Just add, `Until We Meet Again.' "
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Buy a Programmable Thermostat
A programmable thermostat can save you 10% annually
on your heating and cooling costs. They are easy to install
and can be purchased at any hardware or home improvement
store for about $30 to $50. That way you aren't heating or cooling
the house when no one is home.


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





This guy combines animals in Photoshop and now I don’t know what’s real.

___________________________________________________

In Bill Gates' book (Business @ The Speed of Thought), he
lays out 11 rules that students do not learn in high school
or college.  He argues that our  feel good, politically
correct teachings have created a generation of kids
with no concept of reality who are set up for failure in the
real world.

 RULE 1 - Life is not fair; get used to it.

 RULE 2 - The world won't care about your self-esteem.  The world
will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about
yourself.

 RULE 3 - You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of
high  school. You won't be a vice president with a car phone, until
you earn both.

 RULE 4 - If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a
boss. He  doesn't have tenure.

 RULE 5 - Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity.  Your
grandparents  had a different word for burger flipping; they called
it opportunity.

 RULE 6 - If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't
whine  about your mistakes, learn from them.

 RULE 7 - Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as
they are  now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning
your clothes and  listening to you talk about how cool you are.  So
before you save the rain  forest from the parasites of your
parents' generation, try "delousing" the closet in your own room.

 RULE 8 - Your school may have done away with winners and losers,
but life  has not. In some schools they have abolished failing
grades; they'll give  you as many times as you want to get the
right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to
ANYTHING in real life.

 RULE 9 - Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers
off and very few employers are interested in helping you find
yourself. Do that on your own time.

 RULE 10 - Television is NOT real life. In real life people
actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

 RULE 11 - Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for
one.
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Sandie for this story:
A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she
collapses from a heart attack!

'Help me dear,' she groans to her husband.

The husband dials 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few
minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.

His wife raises her head off the green and stares at him.
'I'm dying over here and you're putting?'

'Don't worry dear', says the husband calmly. 'they found a
doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you'.

'Well how long will it take for him to get here', she asks feebly?!

'No time at all', says her husband, practicing his putting
stroke.  Everybody's already agreed to let him play through'!
____________________________________________________



Today, July 2 in
1298 An army under Albert of Austria defeated and killed Adolf of
Nassua near Worms, Germany. 

1625 The Spanish army took Breda, Spain, after nearly a year of
siege. 

1644 Lord Cromwell crushed the Royalists at the Battle of Marston
Moor near York, England. 

1747 Marshall Saxe led the French forces to victory over an Anglo-
Dutch force under the Duke of Cumberland at the Battle of Lauffeld.


1776 Richard Henry Lee’s resolution that the American colonies
"are, and of right ought to be, free and independent States" was
adopted by the Continental Congress. 

1850 Prussia agreed to pull out of Schlewig and Holstein, Germany. 

1850 Benjamin Lane patented a gas mask with a breathing apparatus.
(Patent US7476 A) 

1857 New York City’s first elevated railroad officially opened for
business. 

1858 Czar Alexander II freed the serfs working on imperial lands. 

1881 Charles J. Guiteau fatally wounded U.S. President James A.
Garfield in Washington, DC. 

1890 The U.S. Congress passed the Sherman Antitrust Act. 

1926 The U.S. Congress established the Army Air Corps. 

1937 American aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart disappeared in the
Central Pacific during an attempt to fly around the world at the
equator. 

1939 At Mount Rushmore, Theodore Roosevelt's face was dedicated. 

1944 American bombers, as part of Operation Gardening, dropped land
mines, leaflets and bombs on German-occupied Budapest. 

1947 An object crashed near Roswell, NM. The U.S. Army Air Force
insisted it was a weather balloon, but eyewitness accounts led to
speculation that it might have been an alien spacecraft. 

1962 Wal-Mart Discount City opened in Rogers, Arkansas. It was the
first Walmart store. 

1964 U.S. President Johnson signed the "Civil Rights Act of 1964"
into law. The act made it illegal in the U.S. to discriminate
against others because of their race. 

1967 The U.S. Marine Corps launched Operation Buffalo in response
to the North Vietnamese Army's efforts to seize the Marine base at
Con Thien. 

1976 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled the death penalty was not
inherently cruel or unusual. 

1976 North Vietnam and South Vietnam were reunited. 

1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter reinstated draft registration for
males 18 years of age. 

1981 Soyuz T-6 returned to Earth. 

1982 Larry Walters ("Lawnchair Larry") took flight in his homeade
airship that consisted of a lawnchair with 45 helium-filled weather
balloons attached to it. He stayed in flight for about an hour. 

1985 General Motors announced that it was installing electronic
road maps as an option in some of its higher-priced cars. 

1995 "Forbes" magazine reported that Microsoft's chairman, Bill
Gates, was worth $12.9 billion, making him the world's richest man.


1998 Cable News Network (CNN) retracted a story that alleged that
U.S. commandos had used nerve gas to kill American defectors during
the Vietnam War. 

2000 In Mexico, Vicente Fox Quesada of the National Action Party
(PAN) defeated Francisco Labastida Ochoa of the Institutional
Revolutionary Party (PRI) in the presidential election. The PRI had
controlled the presidency in Mexico since the party was founded in
1929. 

2018  smiled.





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Computer recommendation 
Sunday, July 1, 2018, 08:15 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday,  July 1
Happy Canada Day!


Because Hagar and his crew settled in Newfoundland 300 years
before Columbus, Canada Day is 3 days before the American July 4
holiday. 

The name Canada dates to Jacques Cartier's second voyage (1535-
1536), when he transcribed the Huron-Iroquoian word, Kanata,
meaning  settlement.  By the mid-1500s, Canada was already
appearing on European maps of North America as the area north of
the St. Lawrence River.

Just like on July 4, huge quantities of beer get consumed.
Here is the site of Molson Canadian

Have FUN!
Dearwebby


Todays Bonehead Award:
Britain's most prolific criminal, 62, 
back behind bars for his 668th offence
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, July 1 in
1991 The Warsaw Pact dissolved. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
Most men are within a finger's breadth of being mad.
--- Diogenes the Cynic (412 BC - 323 BC)

Happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have;
it depends solely on what you think.
--- Dale Carnegie
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

These ads could have benefitted from a bit of proof-reading!
Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25;
Children $2.00.

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery.
We do it carefully by hand.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery.
Try us once, and you'll never go anywhere again.

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Great Dames for sale.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena
Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated?
Come here first!

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school.
Experience preferred.

Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard,
meals, and smacks included.

Mother's helper--peasant working conditions.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in
variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your
home for $1.00.
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. "I used some
horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it."

"When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder.

"Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like
it was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that
is hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground
after going only about 100 yards."

"Is that when you swore?"

"No, Mother," says the nun. "After that, a squirrel ran out of the
bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away."

"Is that when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior again.

"Well, no." says the nun. "You see, as the squirrel was running, an
eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons
and began to fly away!"

"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun.

"No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws,
it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."

"Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient.

"No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand
trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about six inches from the
hole."

The two nuns were silent for a moment. Then Mother Superior sighed
and said, "You missed the @#$%^& putt, didn't you?"
____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Michael Schletter, 35,
Duval County,
Florida

Britain's most prolific criminal, 62, 
back behind bars for his 668th offence

Patrick Ryan, 62,
Accrington, Lancashire,
England

Patrick Ryan, 62, has run up a staggering 469 convictions for a
total of 668 offences, costing UK taxpayers a staggering £3 million
to take to court. His criminal record runs to 100 pages and is so
long a police force once put a note on it warning workers not to
print it out as it would waste too much paper.

This week at Preston Crown Court a probation officer referred to
Ryan's 'sheer number' of convictions and admitted he had 'never
seen a record like it'. Judge Andrew Jefferies QC jailed him for 18
months after hearing how he exposed himself to a bus-load of
appalled passengers, groped one and urinated.

The judge told him: 'You're 62 and you expose yourself and urinate
on a bus.. 'You're drunk and stumbling and grope a woman. No one
should have to be groped by a drunk man. 'You then go on another
bus and because of the effect of the drink, you urinate again.

'Set against that record, I have no hesitation in sentencing you to
18 months in prison. 'You will serve half of that sentence and will
be released on licence and supervision after that. 'During the
period of licence and supervision, this would be be a good time to
look at your mental health and drinking problem.'




Tech Support Pits
From: Stormy
Re: Computer recommendation

Dear Webby
 I'm giving my Toshiba lap top to my son. What would 'you'
recommend for someone who loves to download everything,
save up "stuff' and writes?  Any help here would be
appreciated! The computer store here says they can build
one for me, keeping in mind what I want it for. They start at
about $1,1000.  I am on a diet concerning income, so have
to be really sure of what I buy.
Thanks, have a super day, 
stormy

Dear Stormy
I have heard about the computer stores in your town.
Forget them.
Go to the next big town, that has a Staples, or shop online.
You don't need a high performance machine for bragging on the
school bus. The cheapest laptop will be overkill.

Staples sometimes have dusty big screen laptops really cheap.
I got an Acer Aspire with a 17" screen there for around $300 about
7 years ago, because all the Yuppies want small ones to take into
Starbucks, and the huge 17" laptop just gathered dust.
It has been my work machine ever since.

Don't worry about the disk size. IF and when you run out of space,
you can get a USB connected external 2 TeraByte drive, that will
become an heirloom. You will never fill that.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

A chief and an admiral were sitting in the barber shop. They
were both just getting finished with their shaves--the barbers
were reaching for some aftershave to slap on their faces.

The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife
will think I've been in a whorehouse!"

The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on.
My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse
smells like."



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Kentucky
An excerpt from brilliant Kentucky state legislation. "No
female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within
this state unless she be escorted by at least two officers
or unless she be armed with a club." The following important
amendment however is to be considered here: "The provisions
of this statute shall not apply to females weighing less
than 90 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds, nor shall it apply
to male horses."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Keeping Animals Out of Trash
A bungie cord securing the lid should prevent trash from
spilling out if an animal tips it over. As a deterrent, fill
a spray bottle with ammonia and spray the outside of the
can every few days. This will keep animals away.


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________



___________________________________________________

What women say and what they mean:

FINE: This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we
feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to
describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of
those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES: This is a half an hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last before you take
out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING: This means something and you should be on your toes.
"Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of
wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards.
"Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five
Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will
result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with
the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (with normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what
you want because I don't care." You will get a raise! d eyebrow "Go
Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and
she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal
statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks
you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her
time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH: Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs"
are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is
content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay
content.

THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman
can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long
and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you
have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and
used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point
in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going
to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO: This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is
giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you
have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair
chance to tell the truth, ! so be careful and you shouldn't get a
"That's Okay."

THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say you're
welcome.

THANKS A LOT: This is much different from "THANKS." A woman will
say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It
signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be
followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be care not to ask what is wrong after
the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Oh Nothing." 

___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


My boss wanted a "Clean Desk" policy, so he sent a memo saying
that any paperwork left on desks would be removed at night and we
would have to fill out a form to get it back.

So we left all our trash paper on our desks every night.

In a week, the boss had an office full of trash, nobody filled
out a retrieval form, and we never heard about the policy again.
____________________________________________________



Today, July 1 in
0096 Vespasian, a Roman Army leader, was hailed as a Roman Emperor
by the Egyptian legions. 

1543 England and Scotland signed the peace of Greenwich. 

1596 An English fleet under the Earl of Essex, Lord Howard of
Effingham and Francis Vere captured and sacked Cadiz, Spain. 

1690 The French defeated the forces of the Grand Alliance at
Fleurus in the Netherlands. 

1798 Napoleon Bonaparte took Alexandria, Egypt. 

1845 Uniform postal rates went into effect throughout the United
States. The Act of Congress was passed on March 3, 1845. 

1847 In New York City, the U.S. Post Office issued its first
adhesive stamps. The two stamps available were a 5-cent Benjamin
Franklin and a 10-cent George Washington. 

1862 The U.S. Congress established the Bureau of Internal Revenue. 

1863 During the U.S. Civil War, the first day's fighting at
Gettysburg began. 

1867 Canada became an independent dominion. 

1874 The Philadelphia Zoological Society zoo opened as the first
zoo in the United States. 

1876 Montenegro declared war on the Turks. 

1893 The first bicycle race track in America to be made out of wood
was opened in San Francisco, CA. 

1898 During the Spanish-American War, Theodore Roosevelt and his
"Rough Riders" waged a victorious assault on San Juan Hill in Cuba.


1905 The USDA Forest Service was created within the Department of
Agriculture. The agency was given the mission to sustain healthy,
diverse, and productive forests and grasslands for present and
future generations. 

1909 Thomas Edison began commercially manufacturing his new "A"
type alkaline storage batteries. 

1916 The massive Allied offensive known as the Battle of the Somme
began in France. The battle was the first to use tanks. 

1940 In Washington, the Tacoma Narrows Bridge was opened to
traffic. The bridge collapsed during a wind storm on November 7,
1940. 

1941 Bulova Watch Company sponsored the first TV commercial in New
York City, NY. 

1942 German troops captured Sevestpol, Crimea, in the Soviet Union.


1943 The U.S. Government began automatically withholding federal
income tax from paychecks. 

1945 New York established the New York State Commission Against
Discrimination to prevent discrimination in employment because of
race, creed or natural origin. It was the first such agency in the
U.S. 

1946 U.S. President Harry Truman signed Public Law 476 that
incorporated the Civil Air Patrol as a benevolent, nonprofit
organization. The Civil Air Patrol was created on December 1, 1941.


1946 The U.S. exploded a 20-kiloton atomic bomb near Bikini Atoll
in the Pacific Ocean. 

1948 The price of a subway ride in New York City was increased from
5 cents to 10. 

1950 American ground troops arrived in South Korea to stem the tide
of the advancing North Korean army. 

1960 Somalia gained its independence from Britain through the
unification of Somaliland with Italian Somalia. 

1961 British troops landed in Kuwait to aid against Iraqi threats. 

1961 The first community air-raid shelter was built. The shelter in
Boise, ID had a capacity of 1,000 people and family memberships
sold for $100. 

1963 The U.S. postmaster introduced the five-digit ZIP (Zoning
Improvement Plan) code. 

1966 The Medicare federal insurance program went into effect. 

1968 The Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty was signed by 60
countries. It limited the spreading of nuclear material for
military purposes. On May 11, 1995, the treaty was extended
indefinitely. 

1969 Britain's Prince Charles was invested as the Prince of Wales. 

1974 Isavel Peron became the president of Argentina upon the death
of her husband, Juan. 

1979 Sony introduced the Walkman. 

1981 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that candidates for federal
office had an "affirmative right" to go on national television. 

1987 John Kevin Hill, at age 11, became the youngest to fly across
the U.S. when he landed at National Airport in Washington, DC. 

1989 The Montreal Protocol, an international treaty, went into
effect. It limited the production of ozone-destroying chemicals. 

1991 The Warsaw Pact dissolved. 

1994 Yasser Arafat of the Palestinian Liberation Organization
visited the Gaza Strip. 

1997 The sovereignty over Hong Kong was transferred from Great
Britain to China. Britain had controlled Hong Kong as a colony for
156 years. 

1999 The U.S. Justice Department released new regulations that
granted the attorney general sole power to appoint and oversee
special counsels. The 1978 independent-counsel statute expired on
June 30. 

2003 In Hong Kong, thousands of protesters marched to show their
opposition to anti-subversion legislation. 

2018  smiled.





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Screen Saver is full screen 
Saturday, June 30, 2018, 10:41 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday,  June 30

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida Dean arrested for exposing pecker, 
DUI, resisting arrest
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, June 30 in
1953 The first Corvette rolled off the Chevrolet assembly line 
in Flint, MI. It sold for $3,250. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; 
then success is sure.
--- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________
On a street, where the speed is limited to 30 mph the police stop a
driver.

"Not only have you been driving too fast, you've been passing cars
where it is not allowed.  Your lights don't work, your tires all
completely worn out.  This is surely going to cost you a lot.Â
What's your name?"

"Schtrathewisizeski Vocgefastilongchinic."

"Well, I'll let you go this time but don't do it again."
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

Nonaco Grand Prix 1962
Street race, with traffic

_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

While standing in line at airport security this morning, the
ahead of me poked her index finger at an article in the
newspaper she was reading and made a rather unflattering
comment about the author.
I read: "12 ideas to help you keep that resolution to lose
 weight."  After a couple of paragraphs, the article lists things
to  do. The second of these hints reads:  "When cooking yourself,
substitute lower-fat ingredients whenever possible...."

"HUH?" she then asked,  "Am I supposed to hunt down and
cook low-fat jogger instead of myself?"
____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Michael Schletter, 35,
Duval County,
Florida

Florida Dean arrested for exposing pecker, 
DUI, resisting arrest

A local man who works with children was arrested for a DUI and
resisting arrest- after a Nassau County deputy found him with his
genitals exposed.

It happened in Yulee at The Reserve at Amelia apartment complex.
Duval County Public Schools employee Michael Schletter was arrested
for DUI, exposing sex organs and resisting arrest.

Duval County Public Schools employee Michael Schletter was arrested
for DUI, exposing sex organs and resisting arrest.

a Nassau County Sheriff’s Office incident report that states that
earlier this month, Schletter was found passed out in a car that
was parked across multiple parking spaces and, when he got out of
the car, he “smelled highly of an alcoholic beverage.”

When he was found, the report states, the car’s motor was running
and the headlights were on.

The report also states that Schletter’s genitals were out and he
was asked several times to cover himself, but refused. 

He was then arrested after failing to directly answer questions and
follow commands.



Tech Support Pits
From: Yolanda
Re: Screen Saver is full screen

Dear Webby
Good morning. I hope and pray you and yours are doing well?!
I messed up, I read this mornings email from you regarding
screensavers...ughhhh, should have come with warning Don't try this
at home...lol
I did as you had suggested to your reader and now my screen saver
is full screen and I can't get it to down size.
I know you have the answer and will you be so kind to share with
me...and possibly other readers who have the same issue. Thank you
for your time and help in regards to my mess up.
Have a Blessed day!!

Smiles,
Yolanda

Dear Yolanda
You did not mess up. Screen Savers are always full screen. They are
supposed to save and protect the entire screen.

In the old days, when we had green monitors, if they were left
running overnight, every night, with the word processor menu up, it
burned in. To prevent that, screen savers were invented in the
80's.

With today's monitors, that is not a problem. Today the screen
savers are mostly just to hide the games you are playing or
confidential client data while you run for coffee or a nap.

However, they are still full screen, and no command exists to make
them protect less than the entire screen.

As soon as you touch the mouse or  hit a key on the keyboard, it
goes away and patiently waits for the next time it is needed.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day
of work.  The manager greeted him with a warm handshake
and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job
will be to sweep the entire store."

"But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied
indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry.  I didn't know that," said the manager.
"Here, give me the broom - Let me show you how."



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Repeat by request:
Hillbilly Medical Terms... 

Benign: What you be after you be eight.

Bacteria: Door to the cafeteria.

Barium: What doctors do when patients die.

Cesarean Section: A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan: Searching for Kitty.

Cauterize: Made eye contact with her.

Colic: A sheep dog.

Coma: A punctuation mark.

D&C: Where Washington is.

Dilate: To live long.

Enema: Not a friend.

Fester: Quicker than someone else.

Fibula: A small lie.

G.I. Series: World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail: What you hang your coat on.

Impotent: Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain: Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff: A Doctor's cane.

Morbid: A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates.

Node: I knew it.

Outpatient: A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear: A fatherhood test.

Pelvis: Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative: A letter carrier.

Recovery Room: Place to do upholstery.

Rectum: Damn near killed him.

Secretion: Hiding something.

Seizure: Roman emperor.

Tablet: A small table.

Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.

Tumor: More than one.

Urine: Opposite of mine.

Varicose: Near by/close by.
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Stubborn Locks
If you have a stubborn lock, spray it with some graphite
lock spray. You can buy it at any hardware store. In a pinch,
you can try using some non-stick vegetable oil on both the
lock and key. You can also try dipping your key in talcum
powder and inserting it in the lock.

All of those items will ensure that your locksmith will charge
you extra, because they are a pain in the nuisance to clean
out off a lock. Actually, I got the term "pain in the nuisance"
from Garry, the guy who taught me most of what I know about
locksmithing and burglar alarm security. When a lock gets
stubborn, it's not from lack of lubrication, but because of
dirt causing friction. Adding more stuff, especially stuff
that will attract and hold even more dirt, just makes the
inevitable cleaning more expensive.

One of the few sprays that won't make things worse is Crown
Mold Release spray. It has a very thin carrier fluid that helps
flushing grit out, and it covers the parts with a dry, waxy
dirt repellant coating.

Unless you locked yourself into the garage and need to get
out, your best bet is to take the lock to a locksmith, and
tell him right away, that you have restrained yourself from
spraying weird stuff into the lock.
Have FUN!
DearWebby


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





Roads less traveled, photos of Scotland.

___________________________________________________

Thanks to Sandie for this report:
A hot red convertible with an equally hot woman driver raced
by as my husband and his friend stopped to stare.
"Wow," sighed Rick. "Nice."

"Yeah," agreed his buddy, transfixed.

"What color was the car?" I asked.

They answered simultaneously, "Blonde."
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

The CIA loses track of one of its operatives, and so calls in
one of their top spy hunters.

The CIA boss says, "All I can tell you is that his name is
Murphy and that he's somewhere in Ireland.  If you think
you've located him, tell him the code words, 'The weather
forecast calls for mist in the morning.' If it's really him, he'll
answer, 'Yes, and for mist at noon as well.'"

So the spy hunter goes to Ireland and stops in a bar in one of
the small towns.  He says to the bartender, "Maybe you can
help me. I'm looking for a guy named Murphy."

The bartender replies, "You're going to have to be more
specific because, around here, there are lots of guys named
Murphy. There's Murphy the Baker, who runs the pastry shop
on the next block. There's Murphy the Banker, who's president
of our local savings bank.  There's Murphy the Blacksmith, who
works at the stables.  And, as a matter of fact, my name is
Murphy, too."

Hearing this, the spy hunter figures he might as well try the
code words on the bartender, so he says, "The weather forecast
calls for mist in the morning."

The bartender replies, "Oh, you're looking for Murphy the Spy.
He lives in the green house right down the street."
____________________________________________________



Today, June 30 in
1097 The Crusaders defeated the Turks at Dorylaeum. 

1841 The Erie Railroad rolled out its first passenger train. 

1859 Charles Blondin became the first person to cross Niagara Falls
on a tightrope. 

1894 Korea declared independence from China and asked for Japanese
aid. 

1908 A meteor explosion in Siberia knocked down trees in a 40-mile
radius and struck people unconscious some 40 miles away. 

1912 Belgian workers went on strike to demand universal suffrage. 

1913 Fighting broke out between Bulgaria and Greece and Serbia. It
was the beginning of the Second Balkan War. 

1915 During World War I, the Second Battle Artois ended when the
French failed to take Vimy Ridge. 

1922 Irish rebels in London assassinate Sir Henry Wilson, the
British deputy for Northern Ireland. 

1930 France pulled its troops out of Germany’s Rhineland. 

1934 Adolf Hitler purged the Nazi Party by destroying the SA and
bringing to power to the SS in the "Night of the Long Knives." 

1935 Fascists caused an uproar at the League of Nations when Haile
Selassie of Ethiopia speaks. 

1936 Margaret Mitchell’s book, "Gone with the Wind," was published.


1950 U.S. President Harry Truman ordered U.S. troops into Korea and
authorizes the draft. 

1951 On orders from Washington, General Matthew Ridgeway broadcasts
that the United Nations was willing to discuss an armistice with
North Korea. 

1953 The first Corvette rolled off the Chevrolet assembly line in
Flint, MI. It sold for $3,250. 

1955 The U.S. began funding West Germany’s rearmament with US made
jets and bombs.

1957 The American occupation headquarters in Japan was dissolved. 

1958 The U.S. Congress passed a law authorizing the admission of
Alaska as the 49th state in the Union. 

1960 The Katanga province seceded from Congo (upon Congo's
independence from Belgium). 

1964 The last of U.N. troops left Congo after a four-year effort to
bring stability to the country. 

1971 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the government could not
prevent the Washington Post or the New York Times from publishing
the Pentagon Papers. 

1971 The Soviet spacecraft Soyuz 11 returned to Earth. The three
cosmonauts were found dead inside. 

1971 The 26th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was ratified when
Ohio became the 38th state to approve it. The amendment lowered the
minimum voting age to 18. 

1974 Russian ballet dancer Mikhail Baryshnikov defected in Toronto,
Canada. 

1974 The July 4th scene from the Steven Spielberg movie "Jaws" was
filmed. 

1977 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced his opposition to the B-
1 bomber. 

1985 Yul Brynner left his role as the King of Siam after 4,600
performances in "The King and I." 

1986 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that states could outlaw
homosexual acts between consenting adults. 

1994 The U.S. Figure Skating Association stripped Tonya Harding of
the 1994 national championship and banned her from the organization
for life for an attack on rival Nancy Kerrigan. 

1998 Officials confirmed that the remains of a Vietnam War
serviceman buried in the Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlington National
Cemetery were identified as those of Air Force pilot Michael J.
Blassie. 

2000 U.S. President Clinton signed the E-Signature bill to give the
same legal validity to an electronic signature as a signature in
pen and ink. 

2004 The international Cassini spacecraft entered Saturn's orbit.
The craft had been on a nearly seven-year journey. 

2018  smiled.





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Free screen savers 
Friday, June 29, 2018, 09:39 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Friday,  June 29
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Ivy Leaguer, Nobel nominee with long list of 
liberal bona fides arrested for child porn 
and activity with kids
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, June 29 in
1946 British authorities arrested more than 2,700 Jews in Palestine
in an attempt to end alleged terrorism. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
Most people have seen worse things in private than they 
pretend to be shocked at in public.
--- Edgar Watson Howe (1853 - 1937) 
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Our priest suddenly became ill and asked his twin brother, also
a priest, to fill in for him and conduct a funeral Mass
scheduled for that day. His brother, of course, agreed. It was
not until the brother was accompanying the casket down the
aisle, however, that he realized that he had neglected to ask
the sex of the deceased. This was information that he would need
for his remarks during the service.

As he approached the first pew where the deceased's relatives
were seated he nodded toward the casket and whispered to one
woman, "Brother or sister?"

"Cousin," she replied.
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

Thanks to Lynn for this story:
As the owner of a clunker, I was used to dealing with a variety
of car breakdowns. One day at the supermarket, just after I had
filled my trunk with groceries, I noticed a stream of fluid
pouring out of the bottom of the car. I knew I had to get home
before the car was once again out of action.

When I arrived I asked my husband to take a look at the problem.
Expecting the worst, I braced myself for his diagnosis. When he
came back in, he was smiling. "It's apple juice," he said.
____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Joel Davis,
22,
NYC,
New York

Ivy Leaguer, Nobel nominee with long list of 
liberal bona fides arrested for child porn 
and activity with kids

An Ivy Leaguer who ran an organization advocating for the end of
sexual violence has been arrested in New York for trying to set up
a sexual tryst with children as young as two.

Joel Davis was charged with attempting to sexually exploit a child,
enticing a child to engage in sexual activity and possessing child
pornography, The Washington Post reported.

What makes the case so egregious is that Davis, a 22-year-old
Columbia University student, is the founding executive director of
the international group Youth to End Sexual Violence, focused on
child victims, the newspaper reported.

He has worked alongside actress Angelina Jolie and was reportedly
nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Davis is also an active Hillary Clinton supporter.

An Ivy Leaguer who ran an organization advocating for the end of
sexual violence has been arrested in New York for trying to set up
a sexual tryst with children as young as two.

Joel Davis was charged with attempting to sexually exploit a child,
enticing a child to engage in sexual activity and possessing child
pornography, The Washington Post reported.

What makes the case so egregious is that Davis, a 22-year-old
Columbia University student, is the founding executive director of
the international group Youth to End Sexual Violence, focused on
child victims, the newspaper reported.

He has worked alongside actress Angelina Jolie and was reportedly
nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Davis is also a Hillary Clinton supporter.

And his liberal bona fides don’t stop there, as he served as a
youth ambassador for the United Nations.
More from the Washington Post:
He was the founding executive director of the international
organization Youth to End Sexual Violence. He served as a youth
ambassador for the United Nations special representative on sexual
violence in conflict. He was on the steering committee of the
International Campaign to Stop Rape & Gender Violence in Conflict,
a group of more than 5,000 human rights organizations and experts
worldwide.

The Post reported that, according to a federal criminal complaint,
Davis exchanged text messages with undercover FBI agents, trying to
arrange meetings with a 9-year-old girl, an 8-year-old girl and a
2-year-old boy.

He allegedly sent sexually explicit photos and videos of children
and infants, and was clear in his communications with the FBI
agents that he wanted to engage in sex with children of any age

The complain also said Davis admitted to meeting a 13-year-old boy
on the dating app Grindr, speaking with him on Snapchat. He engaged
in sexual activity with the child in June at his Manhattan
apartment.

U.S. Attorney Geoffrey S. Berman called Davis’s alleged actions
“unfathomable.”

“Davis started an organization devoted to stopping sexual violence,
while allegedly engaged in the duplicitous behavior of sharing
explicit images of infants engaged in sexual activity,” Berman
said, according to The Post.

“The conduct alleged against Joel Davis is as unfathomable as it is
sickening,” he said, adding that “law enforcement will keep its
watchful eye on the darkest corners of the internet to bring
predators to justice.”



Tech Support Pits
From: Carlie
Re: Screen Savers

Dear Webby
I got all kinds of mail telling me that I need to buy a screen
saver to protect my monitor. Is there any truth to that?
Carlie

Dear Carlie
No truth to that at all. Today's monitors don't need screen savers.
If you need to hide netflix or farmville from nosy co-workers, you
can use the built in screen savers.

There is a big choice, all the way from pitch-black to slide show.
Next company party take pictures of all the boneheads and drunks,
and put them into a new folder. Then Select slideshow or photos for
the screen saver, and browse to THAT folder. You can select the
time it waits before starting, and how long it shows each picture.

Charge $25 to remove somebody's picture.

You can also take screen shots of the spreadsheets you work on, and
put them into a folder. Make that one flip slides quickly.

On one old machine, where I use a traditional screen saver, I use
Mystify from Windows 3.3. It still works.

There are also screen savers built in. Just right-click on the
desktop,
Personalize,
Screen Saver (right hand bottom)
and select one.

You can also google for "Free screen savers" and get all kinds of
them for your particular version of Windows.

For Gramma's birthday you can make her a screensaver with all the
pictrues you got that she would love to see. Put them onto a camera
chip or thumb drive, and sneak them into a new folder on her
machine, then set a screen saver to use those pictures. I bet it
will make her cry!

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

Since this is their first party and the wife hasn't done much
cooking, the husband suggests they order out for Chinese
food and she could bake a cake for dessert. She agrees,
but on Friday afternoon, the wife calls her husband in tears.
"The only recipe I can find is for a cake that will feed four,"
she says.

"Why don't you just double the recipe?" her husband asks.
Just before quitting time the husband gets another call
from her, and this time she is frantic.

"I just can't do it," she says. "It's impossible."
"Now, now, what's the matter?"

"Well, I doubled everything, just like you said," she tells
him, "and it's ready to go in the oven."

"Then what's the problem?" he asks.
The wife sobs. "The book says that the cake must be
baked at 350 degrees. I've checked the oven and it doesn't
go up to 700 degrees!"



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




>From David
I'm also a counselor who helps coordinate support groups for
visually-impaired adults.  Many participants have a
condition known as macular degeneration, which makes it
difficult for them to distinguish facial features.

I had just been assigned to a new group and was
introducing myself.

Knowing that many in the group would not be able to see
me well, I jokingly said, "For those of you who can't
see me, I've been told that I look like a cross between
Paul Newman and Robert Redford."

Immediately, one woman called out, "We're not THAT blind!"
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Inexpensive Desk
Make a great desk top out of an old smooth door
(knobs removed). Use short filing cabinets or milk crates
to support the door. This is a great way to recycle old
doors you may have sitting in your garage.

Some sanding and staining and then a few coats of marine
spar varnish will make it look really great and totally
impervious to ANY spills.

The darker you stain the door, the easier it will be on your
eyes. If the door is painted white, paint it brown or dark
green. The slate green that you may remember from old
school blackboards is the easiest on the eyes.
Have FUN!
DerWebby


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





Artist gives kids temporary tats to try to make hospital life more fun. Great guy!

___________________________________________________

A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus
stop where two Americans are waiting.

"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks.
The two Americans just stare at him.

"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries. The two
continue to stare. "Parlare Italiano?" No response.

"Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.

The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first
American turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we
should learn a foreign language."

"Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and
it didn't do him any good."
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Faced with hard times, the company offered a bonus of one thousand
dollars to any employee who could come up with a way of saving
money.

The bonus went to a young woman in accounting who suggested
limiting future bonuses to ten dollars.

The next morning her designated parking space was occupied by the
dumpster.
____________________________________________________



Today, June 29 in
1236 Ferdinand III of Castile and Leon took Cordoba in Spain. 

1652 Massachusetts declared itself an independent commonwealth. 

1767 The British Parliament approved the Townshend Revenue Acts.
The acts imposed import duties on glass, lead, paint, paper and tea
shipped to America. It did not go over well.

1776 The Virginia constitution was adopted and Patrick Henry was
made governor. 

1804 Privates John Collins and Hugh Hall of the Lewis and Clark
Expedition were found guilty by a court-martial consisting of
members of the Corps of Discovery for getting drunk on duty.
Collins received 100 lashes on his back and Hall received 50. 

1860 The first iron-pile lighthouse was completed at Minot’s Ledge,
MA. 

1880 France annexed Tahiti. 

1888 Professor Frederick Treves performed the first appendectomy in
England. 

1903 The British government officially protested Belgian atrocities
in the Congo. 

1905 Russian troops intervened as riots erupted in ports all over
the country. Many ships were looted. 

1917 The Ukraine proclaimed independence from Russia. 

1925 Marvin Pipkin filed for a patent for the frosted electric
light bulb. 

1926 Fascists in Rome added an hour to the work day in an economic
efficiency measure. 

1932 Siam’s army seized Bangkok and announced an end to the
absolute monarchy. 

1946 British authorities arrested more than 2,700 Jews in Palestine
in an attempt to end alleged terrorism. 

1950 U.S. President Harry S. Truman authorized a sea blockade of
Korea. 

1951 The United States invited the Soviet Union to the Korean peace
talks on a ship in Wonson Harbor. 

1953 The Federal Highway Act authorized the construction of 42,500
miles of freeway from coast to coast. 

1954 The Atomic Energy Commission voted against reinstating Dr. J.
Robert Oppenheimer's access to classified information. 

1955 The Soviet Union sent tanks to Poznan, Poland, to put down
anti-Communist demonstrations. 

1956 Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller were married. They were
divorced on January 20, 1961. 

1966 The U.S. bombed fuel storage facilities near the North
Vietnamese cities of Hanoi and Haiphong. 

1967 Israel removed barricades, re-unifying Jerusalem. 

1972 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the death penalty could
constitute "cruel and unusual punishment." The ruling prompted
states to revise their capital punishment laws. 

1982 Israel invaded Lebanon. 

1987 Vincent Van Gogh’s "Le Pont de Trinquetaille" was bought for
$20.4 million at an auction in London, England. 

1995 The shuttle Atlantis and the Russian space station Mir docked,
forming the largest man-made satellite ever to orbit the Earth. 

2007 The first generation Apple iPhone went on sale. 

2011 The state of Nevada passed the first law that permitted the
operation of autonomous cars on public roads. The law went into
effect on March 1, 2012 and did not permit the use of the cars to
the general public. Google received the first self-driving vehicle
license in the U.S. on May 4, 2012 in Nevada. 

2018  smiled.





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Best defragger of today 
Thursday, June 28, 2018, 09:03 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday,  June 28

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
N.H. man arrested twice in one day faces 
drug, DUI charges
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, June 28 in
2010 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that Americans have the right
to own a gun for self-defense anywhere they live. 
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest,
most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to
a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going,
'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'
--- Jeff Foxworthy

Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.
--- Lauren Bacall
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

This country is so full of opportunity. Where else can a
woman hire another woman to do her housework, so that she
can volunteer at the Day Care Center where the cleaning
woman leaves her child?
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



Royal Gorge Bridge, Colorado. 1929
_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife
"Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night they go to a party. The man decides that it's time
to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to
leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice,
"Shall we go home, Mother of Six?"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion
shouts back..."Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Benjamin Benoit, 
33, 
Boscawen,
New Hampshire

N.H. man arrested twice in one day faces 
drug, DUI charges

Police in Concord and Bow said they arrested the same man hours
apart on charges of driving under the influence.

Benjamin Benoit, 33, of Boscawen, was arrested Thursday afternoon
after police received a report of a person at a Bow gas station
falling asleep in the driver's seat of a car.

Benoit was arrested again Friday morning in Concord after another
report was made about a person passed out in a vehicle at a gas
station. Concord police said the car Benoit was in was stolen from
the owner's place of employment in Pembroke.

Benoit is facing multiple charges, including driving under the
influence, possession of a controlled substance and possession of
stolen property.

After each arrest, Benoit was released on personal recognizance
bail. He is scheduled to appear in Merrimack County Superior Court
on the Bow charges on July 5 and on the Concord charges on July 12.



Tech Support Pits
From: Bobbie
Re: Defrag never finishes

Dear Webby
My computer is getting really slow, so a friend suggested
that I defrag it. I tried that, but the Windows defrag never
finishes. It just keeps re-starting. What am I doing wrong?
Bobbie

Dear Bobbie
There are countless defraggers available on the net. 
99% of them are crap. Even the piriform defraggler, that I have
recommended in the past, has gone bad.

According to Moe, who tests and compares them as his mission,
Glarysoft's disk-speedup is currently the best. 

Just make 100% sure that you don't let their other utilities
slither in during the install! The rest of their stuff is bad
news, as I found out myself a few years ago. Just do the Disk-
Speedup, and don't touch the  rest.

You can get it here:
https://www.glarysoft.com/disk-speedup/

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

While digging a shaft into the German homeland, German
scientists discovered small pieces of copper at 50 meters.
After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany
announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a
nationwide telephone network.

Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed.
The British ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper.
At a depth of 100 meters, they discovered small pieces of glass.
Soon the British announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years
ago already had a nationwide fiber net.

Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100, and 200
meters underground, but found absolutely nothing. The Israelis
concluded that the ancient Hebrews 55,000 years ago had
cellular telephones.



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



After driving all night, a man arrived in a small town where
he decided to stop in the local park and catch some sleep.
Just as he dozed off, there was a knock on the window.
Outside the car, was a jogger.
"Excuse me, can you give me the time?" the jogger inquired.
"Groggily, the man replied, "It's 6:27."

The man closed his eyes and just as he dozed off there was
another knock on the window. There stood another jogger
who said, "I'm sorry to disturb you. Do you have the time?"

Struggling to keep up his spirits he replied, "It's 6:34."

The man rolled up the window but realizing that this could
go on indefinitely, he took paper and pen and created a
sign which read:
"I DO NOT KNOW THE TIME."

He stuck the sign in the window, closed his eyes, and was
barely asleep when there came yet another tap on the window.
The man looked and sure enough, there was another jogger.
He disgustedly rolled down the window and said, "Yeah, what is it?"

The jogger replied, "It's 6:42."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Uneven Cake Layers
Sometimes you bake a cake layer that comes out just a little bit
lopsided. Level the layer with a serrated knife. Then apply a coat
of frosting to the rough edge leftover from the cut. Let the
frosting dry before frosting the rest of the cake.

A serrated knife sounds rather barbaric to me!
Cut some leftover shelving or other wood with the same
thickness as a layer of the cake to just fit into your cake
pans and sand and varnish it nicely, because some day it
will become a heirloom. After you dump the cake, put the
wood spacer in and the cake on top of that.

Then use the edge of the cake pan as a guide to saw it
into layers with dental floss.

Remove the cake and put the top layer onto the
spacer and trim the top to be precisely the same as the
bottom.

You will get the same laser smooth cut that the professionals
get (who use that same old trick).

If you don't have any scrap wood, a book or a stack of junk
mail in a ziplock bag works fine too.

If you do a lot of cakes in a row, tie the ends of the dental
floss to wooden spoons or clothes pegs so that you don't cut your
hands.
Have FUN!
DearWebby


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





Get lost in these real world fairy-tale landscapes.

___________________________________________________

Two men were sitting in a doctors office.
"What are you here for?" asked one.

"Circumcision," came the reply.

"That's rough! I had one of those the day after I was born,"
the first man commented. "Afterward, I couldn't walk for a year."
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant;
first, he'd asked that the air conditioning be turned up because
he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too
cold, and so on for about half an hour.

Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walking back and
forth and never once getting angry. So finally, a second
customer asked why didn't they just throw out the pest.

"Oh I don't care." said the waiter with a smile. "We don't have
an air conditioner."
____________________________________________________



Today, June 28 in
1635 The French colony of Guadeloupe was established in the
Caribbean. 

1675 Frederick William of Brandenburg crushed the Swedes. 

1709 The Russians defeated the Swedes and Cossacks at the Battle of
Poltava. 

1776 American Colonists repulsed a British sea attack on
Charleston, SC. 

1778 Mary "Molly Pitcher" Hays McCauley, wife of an American
artilleryman, carried water to the soldiers during the Battle of
Monmouth and, supposedly, took her husband's place at his gun after
he was overcome with heat. 

1894 The U.S. Congress made Labor Day a U.S. national holiday. 

1902 The U.S. Congress passed the Spooner bill, it authorized a
canal to be built across the isthmus of Panama. 

1911 Samuel J. Battle became the first African-American policeman
in New York City. 

1914 Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria, the heir to the Austro-
Hungarian throne, was assassinated in Sarajevo along with his wife,
Duchess Sophie. England used that as the start of WWI.

1919 The Treaty of Versailles was signed ending World War I exactly
five years after it began. The treaty also established the League
of Nations. 

1921 A coal strike in Great Britain was settled after three months.


1930 More than 1,000 communists were routed during an assault on
the British consulate in London. 

1939 Pan American Airways began the first transatlantic passenger
service. 

1938 The U.S. Congress created the Federal Housing Administration
(FHA) to insure construction loans. 

1942 German troops launched an offensive to seize Soviet oil fields
in the Caucasus and the city of Stalingrad. 

1945 U.S. General Douglas MacArthur announced the end of Japanese
resistance in the Philippines. 

1949 The last U.S. combat troops were called home from Korea,
leaving only 500 advisers. 

1950 North Korean forces captured Seoul, South Korea. 

1951 "Amos ’n’ Andy" moved to CBS-TV from radio. 

1954 French troops began to pull out of Vietnam’s Tonkin Province. 

1960 In Cuba, Fidel Castro confiscated American-owned oil
refineries without compensation. 

1964 Malcolm X founded the Organization for Afro American Unity to
seek independence for blacks in the Western Hemisphere. 

1965 The first commercial satellite began communications service.
It was Early Bird (Intelsat I). 

1967 Israel formally declared Jerusalem reunified under its
sovereignty following its capture of the Arab sector in the June
1967 war. 

1971 The U.S. Supreme Court overturned the draft evasion conviction
of Muhammad Ali. 

1972 U.S. President Nixon announced that no new draftees would be
sent to Vietnam. 

1976 The first women entered the U.S. Air Force Academy. 

1978 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the medical school at the
University of California at Davis to admit Allan Bakke. Bakke, a
white man, argued he had been a victim of reverse racial
discrimination. 

1996 The Citadel voted to admit women, ending a 153-year-old men-
only policy at the South Carolina military school. 

1997 Mike Tyson was disqualified for biting Evander Holyfield's ear
after three rounds of their WBA heavyweight title fight in Las
Vegas, NV. 

1998 Poland, due to shortage of funds, is allowed to lease, U.S.
aircraft to bring military force up to NATO standards. 

1998 The Cincinnati Enquirer apologized to Chiquita banana company
and retracted their stories that questioned company's business
practices. They also agreed to pay more than $10 million to settle
legal claims. 

2000 The U.S. Supreme Court declared that a Nebraska law that
outlawed "partial birth abortions" was unconstitutional. About 30
U.S. states had similar laws at the time of the ruling. 

2000 Darva Conger announced that she had done a layout for Playboy
magazine. Conger had married Rick Rockwell on Fox-TV's "Who Wants
to Marry a Multimillionaire." 

2000 The European Commission announced that they had blocked the
planned merger between the U.S. companies WorldCom Inc. and Sprint
due to competition concerns. 

2000 Six-year-old Elián González returned to Cuba from the U.S.
with his father. The child had been the center of an international
custody dispute. 

2001 Slobodan Milosevic was taken into custody and was handed over
to the U.N. war crimes tribunal in The Hague, Netherlands. The
indictment charged Milosevic and four other senior officials, with
crimes against humanity and violations of the laws and customs of
war in Kosovo. 

2001 The U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit
set aside an order that would break up Microsoft for antitrust
violations. However, the judges did agree that the company was in
violation of antitrust laws. 

2004 The U.S. turned over official sovereignty to Iraq's interim
leadership. The event took place two days earlier than previously
announced to thwart insurgents' attempts at undermining the
transfer. 

2004 The U.S. resumed diplomatic ties with Libya after a 24-year
break. 

2004 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that enemy combatants could
challenge their detention in U.S. Courts. 

2005 The final design for the "Freedom Tower" (One World Trade
Center) was formally unveiled. 

2007 The American bald eagle was removed from the endangered
species list. 

2010 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that Americans have the right
to own a gun for self-defense anywhere they live. 

2018  smiled.





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Separate window for links 
Wednesday, June 27, 2018, 11:44 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday,  June 27

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Arkansas purse thief nabbed by the waitress,
whose purse he had stolen, when he 
used her credit card to pay for his meal.
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, June 27 in
1885 Chichester Bell and Charles S. Tainter applied for a patent
for the gramophone. It was granted on May 4, 1886.
More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.
--- John Mason Brown (1900 - 1969)
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Swampy Marsh, the young Australian father-to-be, is waiting
anxiously outside the maternity ward where his wife is having
their first baby. He is pacing the floor when the nurse comes out
and says, "You have a little boy, Mr. Marsh, but you had better
go out and have a cup of coffee, because there may be another
one."

Swampy turns a little pale and leaves.
Some time later he phones the hospital and is told that he the
father of twins, but the nurse cautions, "There is another on the
way, so call back later."

At that Swampy decides that coffee is not strong enough, so he
goes to a bar and has some beer. When he phones the hospital
again he is told that the third baby has arrived and a fourth is on
the way. White-faced, he stumbles to the bar and orders a
double scotch.

Twenty minutes later, he tries to phone again, but he is so
drunk that he dials the wrong number and gets the recorded
cricket game score. When they pick him up off the floor the
recording is still going strong:
"The score is ninety-six all out," says the voice, "and the last
one was a duck."
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

>Thanks to Janet G


Los Cabo, Mexico
_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

Bob took his 4 year old  Josh, out to McDonald's for
dinner one evening for a "guy night".
As they were eating hamburgers, Josh asked
"Daddy, what are these little things on the
hamburger buns?"

He responded that they were tiny seeds and
were ok to eat.
Josh was quiet for a couple of minutes
and obviously in deep thought.
Finally, Josh looked up and said,
"Dad, if we go home and plant these seeds in our
backyard, we will have enough hamburgers to
last forever."
____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Shamon West, 
21,
Pine Bluff,
Arkansas

Arkansas purse thief nabbed by the waitress,
whose purse he had stolen, when he 
used her credit card to pay for his meal.

Authorities say an Arkansas thief got his just deserts when he
tried to pay for a meal using the waitress' stolen credit card.

Police spokesman Lt. David De Foor said in a news release that
officers arrested 21-year-old Shamon West on Tuesday at Shannon's
Restaurant in Pine Bluff. He says that "having no desire to pay for
the fellow's meal," waitress Flora Lunsford called to report that
the man had tried paying for his meal with her stolen credit card.

De Foor says officers found other items on West that had been in
Lunsford's purse when it was stolen from her car Sunday at a nearby
gas station while she was inside the station, including her Social
Security card and driver's license.

West is being held at the Jefferson County jail in lieu of $2,840
bond on forgery and theft by receiving charges.



Tech Support Pits
From: Kathleen
Re: Separate Window

Dear Webby
I saw one of the IT guys pop from a link on a page to a fresh
window, without overwriting the one where the link was. I asked
him how he did that and he managed o confuse not only me,
but also himself.
So, how is it done?
Kathleen

Dear Kathleen
Just hold down SHIFT and click the link.
If the link is just to a small pop-up, then hold down CTRL
while you click the link.
That's all there is to it.
Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

"You are all part of our team now," said the Human Resources rep
during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and
you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't
eat any employees."

The cannibals promised they would not.  Four weeks later their boss
remarked, "You're all working very hard and I'm satisfied with
your work. We have noticed a marked increase in the whole company's
performance. However, one of our secretaries has disappeared.  Do
any of you know what happened to her?"  The cannibals all shook
their heads, "No"

After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the
others, "Which one of you idiots ate the secretary?"  

A hand rose hesitantly.
"You fool!" the leader continued. "For four weeks we've been eating
managers and no one noticed anything.  But NOOOooo, you had to go
and eat someone who actually does something."




If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Each evening bird lover Tom stood in his backyard, hooting like
an owl - and one night, an owl finally called back to him.
For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and
forth. He even kept a log of the "conversation"...
Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in
interspecies communication, his wife had a chat with her next
door neighbor.
"My husband spends his nights ... calling out to owls," she said.

"That's odd," the neighbor replied. "So does my husband!"
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Bathroom Maintenance
A good way to keep your tub or shower clean is to wipe it
down after you use it. You can do it with the towel you use
to dry yourself. Teach your kids to do the same. Your tub
will require cleaning much less frequently.


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





Tiny, perfect staircases made by a secret society of French woodworkers.

___________________________________________________

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside
her car. "Do you need some help?" I asked. 

She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to
this remote door un-locker. Now I can't get into my
car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant
convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?"

"Hmmm, I Dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.

"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing
it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and
manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you
drive over there and check about the batteries...it's
a long walk."
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

The skydiving instructor was going through the question and
answer period with his new students when one of them asked
the usual question always asked:
"If our chute doesn't open; and the reserve doesn't open,
how long would we have till we hit the ground?"

The jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan
answered:
"The rest of your life."
____________________________________________________



Today, June 27 in
0363 The death of Roman Emperor Julian brought an end to the Pagan
Revival. 

1693 "The Ladies' Mercury" was published by John Dunton in London.
It was the first women's magazine and contained a "question and
answer" column that became known as a "problem page." 

1743 King George II of England defeated the French at Dettingen,
Bavaria, in the War of the Austrian Succession. 

1787 Edward Gibbon completed "The Decline and Fall of the Roman
Empire." It was published the following May. 

1801 British forces defeated the French and took control of Cairo,
Egypt. 

1847 New York and Boston were linked by telegraph wires. 

1871 The yen became the new form of currency in Japan. 

1885 Chichester Bell and Charles S. Tainter applied for a patent
for the gramophone. It was granted on May 4, 1886. 

1893 The New York stock market crashed. By the end of the year 600
banks and 74 railroads had gone out of business. 

1905 The battleship Potemkin succumbed to a mutiny on the Black
Sea. 

1918 Two German pilots were saved by parachutes for the first time.

1923 Yugoslav Premier Nikola Pachitch was wounded by Serb attackers
in Belgrade. 

1927 The U.S. Marines adopted the English bulldog as their mascot. 

1929 Scientists at Bell Laboratories in New York revealed a system
for transmitting television pictures. 

1931 Igor Sikorsky filed U.S. Patent 1,994,488, which marked a
breakthrough in helicopter technology. 

1940 Robert Pershing Wadlow was measured by Dr. Cyril MacBryde and
Dr. C. M. Charles. They recorded his height at 8' 11.1." He was
only 22 at the time of his death on July 15, 1940. 

1942 The FBI announced the capture of eight Nazi saboteurs who had
been put ashore from a submarine on New York's Long Island. 

1944 During World War II, American forces completed their capture
of the French port of Cherbourg from the German army. 

1949 "Captain Video and His Video Rangers" premiered on the Dumont
Television Network. 

1950 Two days after North Korea invaded South Korea, U.S. President
Truman ordered the Air Force and Navy into the Korean conflict.
The
United Nations Security Council had asked for member nations to
help South Korea repel an invasion from the North. 

1954 The world's first atomic power station opened at Obninsk, near
Moscow. 

1955 The first "Wide Wide World" was broadcast on NBC-TV. 

1955 The state of Illinois enacted the first automobile seat belt
legislation. 

1959 The play, "West Side Story," with music by Leonard Bernstein,
closed after 734 performances on Broadway. 

1961 Arthur Michael Ramsey was enthroned as the 100th Archbishop of
Canterbury. 

1964 Ernest Borgnine and Ethel Merman were married. It only lasted
38 days. 

1967 The world's first cash dispenser was installed at Barclays
Bank in Enfield, England. The device was invented by John Sheppard-
Barron. The machine operated on a voucher system and the maximum
withdrawal was $28. 

1967 Two hundred people were arrested during a race riot in
Buffalo, NY. 

1969 Patrons at the Stonewall Inn, a gay bar in New York City's
Greenwich Village, clashed with police. This incident is considered
to be the birth of the homosexual rights movement. 

1972 Bobby Hull signed a 10-year hockey contract for $2,500,000. He
became a player and coach of the Winnipeg Jets of the World Hockey
Association. 

1973 Former White House counsel John W. Dean told the Senate
Watergate Committee about an "enemies list" that was kept by the
Nixon White House. 

1973 Nixon vetoed a Senate ban on bombing Cambodia. 

1980 U.S. President Carter signed legislation reviving draft
registration. 

1984 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that individual colleges could
make their own TV package deals. 

1984 The Federal Communications Commission moved to deregulate U.S.
commercial TV by lifting most programming requirements and ending
day-part restrictions on advertising. 

1985 Route 66 was officially removed from the United States Highway
System. 

1985 The U.S. House of Representatives voted to limit the use of
combat troops in Nicaragua. 

1986 The World Court ruled that the U.S. had broken international
law by aiding Nicaraguan rebels. 

1995 Qatar's Crown Prince Sheik Hamad bin Khalifa al-Thani ousted
his father in a bloodless palace coup. 

1998 An English woman was impregnated with her dead husband's sperm
after two-year legal battle over her right to the sperm. 

1998 In a live joint news conference in China U.S. President
Clinton and President Jiang Zemin offered an uncensored airing of
differences on human rights, freedom, trade and Tibet. 

2002 In the U.S., the Securities and Exchange Commission required
companies with annual sales of more than $1.2 billion to submit
sworn statements backing up the accuracy of their financial
reports. 

2005 In Alaska's Denali National Park, a roughly 70-million year
old dinosaur track was discovered. The track was form a three-toed
Cretaceous period dinosaur.

2018  smiled.





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Moving Taskbar icons 
Tuesday, June 26, 2018, 08:43 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday,  June 26

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
French Teen detained for two weeks after 
jogging across Canada-US border
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, June 26 in
1976 In Toronto, Canada, the CN Tower opened to the public. The
official opening date is listed as October 1, 1976. It was the
world's tallest free-standing stucture and the world's tallest
tower until 2010. 

More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
Nothing is said that has not been said before.
--- Terence (185 BC - 159 BC)  

He that is of the opinion money will do everything
may well be suspected of doing everything for money.
--- Benjamin Franklin
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________
>From Linda
True Story....my friend had a date and didn't have time to eat
supper. She grabbed a few dates to help tide her over and went
upstairs to change for the date. When the guy came....a different
guy than she'd ever gone out with before....her mom said "She's
upstairs changing and eating her last date."
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

Deer family playing in a puddle during a thunderstorm


_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside
restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, the elderly woman
left her glasses on the table, but she didn't miss them until they
were back on the highway.

By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find
a place to turn around.

The elderly man fussed and complained all the way back to the
restaurant. He called his wife every bad name he could think of.

When they finally arrived at the restaurant, and the woman got out
of the car to retrieve her glasses, the man yelled to her, "And
while you're in there, you might as well get my hat, too."
____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Cedella Roman, 19
White Rock,
BC

French Teen detained for two weeks after 
jogging across Canada-US border

A young French woman was held by US border control for two weeks
after she accidentally crossed the border when she went for a jog.
Cedella Roman, 19, ran across the border just south of the town of
White Rock in Canada’s British Columbia, into the US state of
Washington on the evening of May 21. She headed back when the tide
began to come in, going up toward a dirt path before stopping to
take a photo of the stunning scenery, then turned around to retrace
her steps.

It was then that she was apprehended by two US Border Patrol
officers who told her she had crossed illegally and had been caught
on camera. ‘I told him I had not done it on purpose, and that I
didn’t understand what was happening,’ she said.

Roman protested that she hadn’t seen any warning signs, and didn’t
initially anticipate how serious the matter would become. ‘I said
to myself, well I may have crossed the border – but they’ll
probably only give me a fine or they’ll tell me to go back to
Canada or they’ll give me a warning.’ Complicating matters, Roman,
who had come to Canada to visit her mother and work on her English,
wasn’t carrying any government-issued ID on her at the time.

She was transferred by the officers to the Tacoma Northwest
Detention Center, run by the Department of Homeland Security, 200
kilometers (120 miles) south. ‘They put me in the caged vehicles
and brought me into their facility,’ she said. ‘They asked me to
remove all my personal belongings with my jewelry, they searched me
everywhere.

‘Then I understood it was getting very serious, and I started to
cry a bit.’ When she reached the centre, she contacted her mother,
Christiane Ferne, who quickly reached the centre with her passport
and study permits – but the workers at the site said the documents
would have to be verified by Canadian authorities. She was held at
the centre for two weeks before the matter was resolved and she was
allowed to return to Canada.

Ferne said the lack of clear signs had led to her daughter’s
predicament. ‘It’s like a trap… anybody can be caught at the border
like this,’ she said. US Immigration and Customs Enforcement
confirmed to CBC that Roman was discharged on June 6. But neither
the ICE nor Immigration Canada would comment further on the case,
citing privacy concerns. A spokesperson for the US Customs and
Border Protection told CBC that anyone who enters the US outside an
official port of entry and without inspection has crossed the
border illegally and will be detained. ‘This applies regardless of
whether or not the individual claims to have inadvertently crossed
the border,’ the department said.

The Peace Arch and huge US border station are about a quarter mile
south of the border but clearly visible from two miles away. 
The Canadian Welcome sign is about that far north of the border. 

The beach is about 50 feet from the border station. The customs
officers have always looked out the windows on the West, just in
case some bikinis were bouncing by. I used to party there with
friends in the early 70s. Even then you had to have some legal ID
to show, if the customs officers asked for it. It was always a
friendly and low key affair, but they made sure you carried legal
ID, even in those days. In those days and until 9/11 a drivers
license was enough for Canadians to cross the border into the US
and for Americans to cross into Canada. 

On the road there was always a lot of commuting to work, Americans
working in BC and Canadians working in the US. During rush hour,
having a hard hat or lunch kit on the dash got you waved through
with a nod. 9/11 changed that quite brutally.

They probably suspected that she was scouting a route for illegal
immigrants, and telling everybody in France how easy it was to get
into the USA from Canada.
Looks like they smartened her up!



Tech Support Pits
From: Ginny
Re: Move taskbar icons

Dear Webby
Is there a way to move the icons on the taskbar so that they
are in the order that I use them? I can only re-arrange the
icons in the little hot-bar section by the START, but the rest
of the task bar, that has the buttons for programs that are
running, there Windows won't let me move them.
Thanks
Ginny

Dear Ginny
Before Windows 7 we used to have to use the Taskbar Shuffler from
http://nerdcave.webs.com/

Nowadays you can drag them.
Carefully put the cursor onto a grey corner of a taskbar icon,
hold down the left mouse button and drag the icon to where you want
it. It acts as if you had the Taskbar Shuffler already installed.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

Planning a weekend of entertaining guests, I made a list of
things I needed to do, including taking food out of the
freezer and  grocery shopping.

As it happened, a friend whom I had been promising to take
to lunch asked if we could make it that Friday.

So, hopping into the car, I taped my "to do" list to the
dashboard and went and picked her up.

As she settled into the car, her face dropped.
"Thanks a lot!" she sulked.

Then I glanced at my list and saw the first item:
"Take out the Turkey."




If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




A consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand
and makes it sound confusing.
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Organize Tools With Fishing Tackle Boxes
Fishing tackle boxes work great for keeping small power
tools and their accessories and bits organized. Whenever
I see fishing tackle box at a garage sale or rummage sale,
I grab it. You can uses stencils and spray paint to label the
outside of the box.


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________





American vacations of the 1900's in color.

___________________________________________________

An agriculture student said to a farmer: "Your methods are too old
fashioned. I won't be surprised if this tree will give you less
than twenty pounds of apples."

"I won't be surprised either," said the farmer, "From orange trees
like this, I expect about 120 pounds of oranges".

___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


Soon after our last child left home for college, my husband
was resting next to me on the couch with his head in my lap.
I carefully removed his glasses. "You know, honey," I said
sweetly, "Without your glasses you look like the same
handsome young man I married."

"Honey," he replied with a grin, "Without my glasses, you
still look pretty good, too!"
____________________________________________________



Today, June 26 in
1096 Peter the Hermit's crusaders forced their way across Sava,
Hungary. 

1243 The Seljuk Turkish army in Asia Minor was wiped out by the
Mongols. 

1483 Richard III usurped himself to the English throne. 

1794 The French defeated an Austrian army at the Battle of Fleurus.


1804 The Lewis and Clark Expedition reached the mouth of the Kansas
River after completing a westward trek of nearly 400 river miles. 

1819 The bicycle was patented by W.K. Clarkson, Jr. 

1870 The first section of the boardwalk in Atlantic City, NJ, was
opened to the public. 

1894 The American Railway Union called a general strike in sympathy
with Pullman workers. 

1900 The United States announced that it would send troops to fight
against the Boxer rebellion in China. 

1900 A commission that included Dr. Walter Reed began the fight
against the deadly disease yellow fever. 

1907 Russia's nobility demanded drastic measures to be taken
against revolutionaries. 

1908 Shah Muhammad Ali's forces squelched the reform elements of
Parliament in Persia. 

1917 General John "Black Jack" Pershing arrived in France with the
American Expeditionary Force. 

1925 Charlie Chaplin's comedy "The Gold Rush" premiered in
Hollywood. 
That was the only movie about Canada that I had seen before I
immigrated.

1924 After eight years of occupation, American troops left the
Dominican Republic. 

1927 The Coney Island Cyclone roller coaster opened in New York. 

1936 The Focke-Wulf Fw 61 made its first flight. It is often
considered the first practical helicopter. 

1942 The Grumman F6F Hellcat fighter was flown for the first time. 

1945 The U.N. Charter was signed by 50 nations in San Francisco,
CA. 

1948 The Berlin Airlift began as the U.S., Britain and France
started ferrying supplies to the isolated western sector of Berlin.


1951 The Soviet Union proposed a cease-fire in the Korean War. 

1959 U.S. President Eisenhower joined Britain's Queen Elizabeth II
in ceremonies officially opening the St. Lawrence Seaway. 

1961 A Kuwaiti vote opposed Iraq's annexation plans. 

1963 U.S. President John Kennedy announced "Ich bin ein Berliner"
(I am a Berliner) at the Berlin Wall. 

1971 The U.S. Justice Department issued a warrant for Daniel
Ellsberg, accusing him of giving away the Pentagon Papers. 

1974 In Troy, Ohio, a Marsh supermarket installed the first bar
code scanning equipment, made by IBM, and a product with a bar code
was scanned for the first time. The product was Juicy Fruit gum. 

1975 Indian Prime Minister Indira Gandhi declared a state of
emergency due to "deep and widespread conspiracy." 

1976 In Toronto, Canada, the CN Tower opened to the public. The
official opening date is listed as October 1, 1976. It was the
world's tallest free-standing stucture and the world's tallest
tower until 2010. 

1979 Muhammad Ali, at 37 years old, announced that he was retiring
as world heavyweight boxing champion. 

1996 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the Virginia Military Institute
to admit women or forgo state support. 

1997 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Communications Decency
Act of 1996 that made it illegal to distribute indecent material on
the Internet. 

1997 J.K. Rowlings book "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone"
was published in the U.K. The book was later released in the U.S.
under the name "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone." This was
the first book in the Harry Potter series. 

1997 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld state laws that allow for a ban
on doctor-assisted suicides. 

1998 The U.S. and Peru open school to train commandos to patrol
Peru's rivers for drug traffickers. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that employers are always
potentially liable for supervisor's sexual misconduct toward an
employee. 

2000 The Human Genome Project and Celera Genomics Corp. jointly
announced that they had created a working draft of the human
genome. 

2000 Indonesia's President Abdurrahman Wahid declared a state of
emergency in the Moluccas due to the escalation of fighting between
Christians and Muslims. 

2001 Ray Bourque (Colorado Avalanche) announced his retirement just
17 days after winning his first Stanley Cup. Bouque retired after
22 years and held the NHL record for highest-scoring defenseman and
playing in 19 consecutive All-Star games. 

2002 David Hasseloff checked into The Betty Ford Center for
treatment of alcoholism. 

2002 WorldCom Inc. filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. 

2018  smiled.




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MS Office or Libre Office 
Monday, June 25, 2018, 09:20 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Monday,  June 25

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida woman arrested for meth after 
claiming children are missing
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, June 25 in
1950 North Korea invaded South Korea initiating the Korean War. 

More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
--- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent,
hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two
percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them.
--- Lily Tomlin

When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not
know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.'
--- Theodore Roosevelt
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

>From Mark
A Cop came to my house this morning. He asked me where I was in
between five and six. He seemed irritated when I said kindergarten.
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



The storm woke up my peonies
_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

In the subway train the conversation turned to the merits and
demerits of various ways of preserving health.

One stout, florid man held forth with great eloquence on the
subject. "Look at me!" he said.  "Never a day's sickness in my
life, and all due to simple food.  Why, gentlemen," he continued,
"from the age of twenty to that of forty I lived an absolutely
simple regular life --- no effeminate delicacies, no late hours, no
extravagances.  Every day, in fact, summer and winter, I was in bed
regularly at nine o'clock and up again at five in the morning.  
I worked from eight to one, then had dinner--a plain dinner,
mark my words: after that, an hour's exercise; then.."

"Excuse me, sir," interrupted the facetious stranger in the corner,
"but what were you in prison for???"
____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Misty Brock, 39,
Funiak Springs,
Florida

Florida woman arrested for meth after 
claiming children are missing

A woman from DeFuniak Springs who initially claimed her two
children had been kidnapped was arrested for possession of
methamphetamine and false 911 calls after her children were found
safe and sound, according to a press release.
Misty Michelle Brock, 39, was charged with false 911 calls,
resisting an officer without violence and making a false report to
law enforcement by the Jackson County Sheriff’s Office. She was
additionally charged with possession of paraphernalia and
possession of methamphetamine with intent to sell.
According to JCSO, Brock called dispatch reporting that her two
children, ages two and five, had gone missing from her vehicle at
the Chevron Station on Highway 231 and that she believed they were
in a semi-truck that had just departed the area. The call triggered
a response from JSCO, along with FHP, Cottondale Police, the Bay
County Sheriff’s Office and Houston County Sheriff’s Office as a
BOLO (Be on the Lookout) was issued for the semi-truck.
During the course of the investigation, deputies noted that Brock
displayed several signs that she was under the influence of an
illegal substance. A review of security footage showed no children
in Brock’s car. Brock was allegedly unable to provide consistent
information about her travel itinerary or even what her children
were wearing.
A JCSO Investigator traveled to the children’s father’s home, where
they were located and determined to have been all day. Contact had
also been made with Brock’s mother who provided the same
information. When deputies tried to relay this information to Brock
she stated those children were impostors, according to the press
release.
During the investigation, several items of paraphernalia were
allegedly found in Brock’s purse, along with five grams of “high
grade” methamphetamine. As she was being transported to the jail,
Brock was reportedly claiming to see her children under vehicles.



Tech Support Pits
From: Helga
Re: MS Office or Libre Office

Dear Webby
What is the difference between MS Office and Open Office?
I have to get one of them. Which one do you recommend?
Helga

Dear Helga
The biggest diffeernce that I can see is that you can install
Open Office on a shirt pocket USB hard drive and run it
from there when you plug it into any computer's USB port.
And unlike Microsoft Office, it is free.

With MS Office you would need to buy a license and pay annual
license fees for each machine, with the free Open Office you got
everything, from settings and preferences to your documents,
spreadsheets and pictures on your portable hard drive or thumb
drive, and basically just "borrow" the keybaord and the printer and
hardware of the computer that you plug it into.

The included features are about the same. Whichever one
you learn, that's the one you will be good at, and that one
will be your preferred choice. There is no single feature
that I an think of that is available in only one of them, except
maybe the ability to create PDF files. You can do that with
Libre Office, but if you have MS Office, you need to shell
out another $450 to get Adobe Acrobat Professional to do
the same. Microsoft was going to include it, but backed off
at the last minute, when Adobe threatened to sue. Seems there
was more copying than inspiration involved.

Since you don't have either one yet, and would not have to
un-learn and trade the peculiarities of one of them for those
of the other, I would recommend Libre Office.
You can download it free at 
https://www.libreoffice.org/

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from
work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to
be three in this house instead of two."

The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his
wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."

But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel that way because
tomorrow morning my mother moves in with us."




If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



At a nursing home in Miami, Florida, a group of Senior
Citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments:
"My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,"
said one.

"Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my
coffee," replied another.

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,"
said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.

"My blood pressure pills make me dizzy,".... another went on.

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced
an old man as he slowly shook his head. Then there was a
short moment of silence.

"Well, it's not that bad," said one woman cheerfully.
"Thank God we can all still drive."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Saving Energy When Drying Clothes
It's best to keep your dryer hot by running one load after
another. It will help maintain your dryer's heat. It consumes
the most energy while it is heating up. Clean the lint dryer
between every use and don't over dry clothing.


Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________



American vacations of the 1900's in color.

___________________________________________________

A woman with 14 children, ranging in age from one to
fourteen, went to court to sue her husband for divorce on
grounds of desertion.
"When did he leave you?" the judge asked.
"Thirteen years ago," the tired mother replied.
The judge was confused. "If he left thirteen
years ago, where did all these children come from?"

"Well," said the woman, "he kept coming back to
say he was sorry."
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


The young Southern belle came to the hospital for a check-up.
"Have you ever been x-rayed?", asked the doctor.

"Nope," she replied, "But ah've been ultra-violated a few times."
____________________________________________________



Today, June 25 in
0841 Charles the Bald and Louis the German defeated Lothar at
Fontenay. 

1080 At Brixen, a council of bishops declared Pope Gregory to be
deposed and Archbishop Guibert as antipope Clement III. 

1580 The Book of Concord was first published. The book is a
collection of doctrinal standards of the Lutheran Church. 

1658 Aurangzeb proclaimed himself emperor of the Moghuls in India. 

1767 Mexican Indians rioted as Jesuit priests were ordered home. 

1864 Union troops surrounding Petersburg, VA, began building a mine
tunnel underneath the Confederate lines. 

1867 Lucien B. Smith patented the first barbed wire. 

1868 The U.S. Congress enacted legislation granting an eight-hour
day to workers employed by the Federal government. 

1870 In Spain, Queen Isabella abdicated in favor of Alfonso XII. 

1876 Lt. Col. Custer and the 210 men of U.S. 7th Cavalry were
killed by Sioux and Cheyenne Indians at Little Big Horn in Montana.
The event is known as "Custer's Last Stand." 

1876 In Philadelphia, PA, Alexander Graham Bell demonstrated the
telephone for Sir William Thomson (Baron Kelvin) and Emperor Pedro
II of Brazil at the Centennial Exhibition. 

1906 Pittsburgh millionaire Harry Kendall Thaw, the son of coal and
railroad baron William Thaw, shot and killed Stanford White.
White,
a prominent architect, had a tryst with Florence Evelyn Nesbit
before she married Thaw. The shooting took place at the premeire of
Mamzelle Champagne in New York. 

1910 The U.S. Congress authorized the use of postal savings stamps.


1917 The first American fighting troops landed in France. 

1920 The Greeks took 8,000 Turkish prisoners in Smyrna. 

1921 Samuel Gompers was elected head of the AFL for the 40th time. 

1938 Gaelic scholar Douglas Hyde was inaugurated as the first
president of the Irish Republic. 

1941 Finland declared war on the Soviet Union after securing help
from Germany.

1946 Ho Chi Minh traveled to France for talks on Vietnamese
independence. 

1948 The Soviet Union tightened its blockade of Berlin by
intercepting river barges heading for the city. 

1950 North Korea invaded South Korea initiating the Korean War. 

1951 In New York, the first regular commercial color TV
transmissions were presented on CBS using the FCC-approved CBS
Color System. The public did not own color TV's at the time. 

1959 The Cuban government seized 2.35 million acres under a new
agrarian reform law. 

1959 Eamon De Valera became president of Ireland at the age of 76. 

1962 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the use of unofficial non-
denominational prayer in public schools was unconstitutional. 

1964 U.S. President Lyndon Johnson ordered 200 naval personnel to
Mississippi to assist in finding three missing civil rights
workers. 

1970 The U.S. Federal Communications Commission handed down a
ruling (35 FR 7732), making it illegal for radio stations to put
telephone calls on the air without the permission of the person
being called. 

1973 Erskine Childers Jr. became president of Ireland after the
retirement of Eamon De Valera. 

1973 White House Counsel John Dean admitted that U.S. President
Nixon took part in the Watergate cover-up. 

1975 Mozambique became independent. Samora Machel was sworn in as
president after 477 years of Portuguese rule. 

1981 The U.S. Supreme Court decided that male-only draft
registration was constitutional. 

1986 The U.S. Congress approved $100 million in aid to the Contras
fighting in Nicaragua. 

1987 Austrian President Kurt Waldheim visited Pope John Paul II at
the Vatican. The meeting was controversial due to allegations that
Waldheim had hidden his Nazi past. 


1990 The U.S. Supreme Court upheld the right of an individual,
whose wishes are clearly made, to refuse life-sustaining medical
treatment. "The right to die" decision was made in the Curzan vs.
Missouri case. 

1991 The last Soviet troops left Czechoslovakia 23 years after the
Warsaw Pact invasion. 

1991 The Yugoslav republics of Slovenia and Croatia declared their
independence from Yugoslavia. 

1993 Kim Campbell took office as Canada's first woman prime
minister. She assumed power upon the resignation of Brian Mulroney.


1997 The Russian space station Mir was hit by an unmanned cargo
vessel. Much of the power supply was knocked out and the station's
Spektr module was severely damaged. 

1997 U.S. air pollution standards were significantly tightened by
U.S. President Clinton. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court rejected the line-item veto thereby
striking down presidential power to cancel specific items in tax
and spending legislation. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that those infected with HIV are
protected by the Americans With Disabilities Act. 

1998 Microsoft's "Windows 98" was released to the public. 

1999 Germany's parliament approved a national Holocaust memorial to
be built in Berlin. 

2000 U.S. and British researchers announced that they had completed
a rough draft of a map of the genetic makeup of human beings. The
project was 10 years old at the time of the announcement. 

2000 A Florida judge approved a class-action lawsuit to be filed
against America Online (AOL) on behalf of hourly subscribers who
were forced to view "pop-up" advertisements. 

2018  smiled.




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Coping with hotels 
Sunday, June 24, 2018, 07:26 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday,  June 24

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
English secondary school makes boys wear skirts 
to make transgender students feel more at home.
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, June 24 in
1675 King Philip's War began when Indians massacre colonists 
at Swansee, Plymouth colony. 

More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
I never trust people's assertions, 
I always judge of them by their actions.
--- Ann Radcliffe (1764 - 1823)
____________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing
lawyers.
"So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a
bribe."

Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Morris, gave me
$15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000. In all
honesty I cannot fairly accept two bribes."

The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed
it to Morris saying, "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're
going to decide this case solely on its merits!"

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



Splendid Fairy Wren
_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

Two confirmed bachelors are talking and their conversation
drifts from politics to cooking.
"I got a cookbook last Christmas," says the first, "but I
could never do anything with it."

"Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asks the second.

"You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way,
'Take a clean dish and ...'"

____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Secondary school
Oxfordshire, England

English secondary school makes boys wear skirts 
to make transgender students feel more at home.

A private secondary school in Oxfordshire, England is banning its
male students from wearing shorts during the summer months, and is
instead requesting that they wear a more "gender neutral" ensemble
that includes that staple of men's athletic wear: The skirt.

According to the Daily Mail, Chiltern Edge Secondary School's rule
change comes after an unfavorable ruling by a government agency
tasked with overseeing educational standards.

School leaders said the skirts were a "more formal" alternative to
shorts, regardless of how uncomfortable they might make male
students at the school.

Unsurprisingly, parents are complaining about the bizarre school
dress code, which is part of a larger trend of schools adopting
"gender neutral" uniforms to make transgender students feel more at
home,
and alienate the straight ones.



Tech Support Pits
From: SueEllea
Re: Coping with hotels

Dear Webby
In my new positon, I have to do a fair bit of traveling, and
so far I don't like the computer part of it one bit. My 
daughter told me that you travel a lot and have written
about that before. Well, you haven't, since I signed up.
Hopefully the other subscribers won't be bored if you write
an update on your travel tips.
Thanks
SueElla

Dear SueElla
The biggest nuisance with traveling is that most hotels use
high tables and low chairs. Nobody knows why, but even 
hotels that claim to be business oriented and have office 
type swivel chairs, use ridiculously high tables. Most 
hotel tables come from China and just like un-hemmed 
bargain pants, the legs are way too long and need to be trimmed
for the actually needed length. Unfortunately, that is
too challenging for hotel staff.

I cope with that problem by carrying a 5/16" thick piece of
plexiglass trimmed to precisely fit into the lid of my big 
wheeled carryon. Well, nowadays I can't take it on board 
a plane any more and I have to check it through, but that
piece of plexiglass has travelled with me for about 20 years.

When I get to a hotel, I jam it into a partly opened dresser
or night table drawer, and set my laptop on that. Then the 
separate keyboard, that I also take along, is at the perfect
height for maximum typing speed while sitting in a low hotel
chair.

Yes, I take a regular keyboard along, with proper numeric 
keypad. I also take along a 5 button mouse. I am used to using the
side buttons for copying and pasting.

I also take along the following:
Wireless DSL modem card
15 foot network cable
20 foot telephone cable
Female-Female telephone cable connector
Telephone line one-to-two splitter
20 foot light weight extension cord (Lamp Cord)
Two 5 watt LED lightbulbs
Print-out of Earthlink access numbers for the areas
that I travel to.

Naturally, I try to go to hotels that have wireless high-
speed connections, but sometimes the room is too far 
away from the transmitter or the max number of people
are already logged on by the time I get set up. Then old
fashioned dial-up is better than nothing. 

I have to say that Earthlink has never let me down, even
overseas, however, since their support was moved to Asia, 
it has deteriorated. Instead of joking with a valley girl, you are
now arguing with somebody, who does not speak Engrish very well.
That is why you need that print-out of all the local access
numbers.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

A salesman of many years is tired of his job and gives it
up to become a policeman. One day, while he's walking
his beat, he meets an old friend who asks him how he
likes his new work.

"Well," says the salesman-turned-cop, "the pay is excellent
and the hours aren't bad. But what I like best is that the
customer is always wrong."




If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



A scout for one of the leading colleges went to the office of
the athletic director and announced, "Have I got an athlete
for you! This guy can play every sport and excels at every
position. He is absolutely the finest athlete I have ever
seen play."

The athletic director was very impressed but had to ask the
question, "But how is he scholastically?"

The scout replied, "He makes straight "A"s in every subject.
However, I must tell you his "B"s are a little crooked."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Hanging Tools
If you enough wall space, hang shovels and other garden
tools upside down on your walls. For smaller tools, you can
get a peg board that you can mount on your wall and fit
with a variety of pegs and hooks and store tools that you
need to have handy.

You can also get mop closet organizers that grip the handles
properly with soft cushion grips. That way wet tools don't
drool down the handle and leave a blister causing crust,
and it helps to keep the lower end of the handle from drying
out and getting sloppy. A tight fitting tool tires you out a
lot less.

A mop handle rack with six spring loaded cusion grips is
usually around $4.95 and holds anything except heavy sledge
hammers.
Have FUN!
DearWebby



Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________



Tiny, perfect staircases made by a secret society of French woodworkers.

___________________________________________________

As an instructor in driver education at the local
area High School, I've learned that even the
brightest students can become flustered behind
the wheel.

One day I had three beginners in the car, each
scheduled to drive for 30 minutes.

When the first student had completed his time, I
asked him to change places with one of the others.

Gripping the wheel tightly and staring straight
ahead, he asked in a shaky voice, "Should I
stop the car first?"
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

Thanks to Linda for this story:
My wife and I are teachers, and our jobs often spill over
into our family life. One morning, as our eight-year-old
Maggie was getting ready for school, I peeked into her
room just to be sure she had tidied it up.
"You call THAT a made bed?" I asked.

"No, Dad," Maggie replied. "It's just a rough draft."
____________________________________________________



Today, June 24 in
1314 Scottish forces led by Robert the Bruce won over Edward II of
England at the Battle of Bannockburn in Scotland. 

1340 The English fleet defeated the French fleet at Sluys, off the
Flemish coast. 

1497 Italian explorer John Cabot, sailing in the service of
England, landed in North America on what is now Newfoundland. 

1509 Henry VIII was crowned King of England. 

1664 New Jersey, named after the Isle of Jersey, was founded. 

1675 King Philip's War began when Indians massacre colonists at
Swansee, Plymouth colony. 

1717 The Freemasons were founded in London. 

1793 The first republican constitution in France was adopted. 

1812 Napoleon crossed the Nieman River and invaded Russia. 

1844 Charles Goodyear was granted U.S. patent #3,633 for vulcanized
rubber. 

1859 At the Battle of Solferino, also known as the Battle of the
Three Sovereigns, the French army led by Napoleon III defeated the
Austrian army under Franz Joseph I in northern Italy. 

1861 Federal gunboats attacked Confederate batteries at Mathias
Point, Virginia. 

1862 U.S. intervention saved the British and French at the Dagu
forts in China. 

1869 Mary Ellen "Mammy" Pleasant officially became the Vodoo Queen
in San Francisco, CA. 

1910 The Japanese army invaded Korea. 

1913 Greece and Serbia annulled their alliance with Bulgaria
following border disputes over Macedonia and Thrace. 

1931 The Soviet Union and Afghanistan signed a treaty of
neutrality. 

1940 France signed an armistice with Italy. 

1940 TV cameras were used for the first time in a political
convention as the Republicans convened in Philadelphia, PA. 

1941 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt pledged all possible support
to the Soviet Union. 

1947 Kenneth Arnold reported seeing flying saucers over Mt.
Rainier, Washington. 

1948 The Soviet Union began the Berlin Blockade. 

1955 Soviet MIG's down a U.S. Navy patrol plane over the Bering
Strait. 

1964 The Federal Trade Commission announced that starting in 1965,
cigarette manufactures would be required to include warnings on
their packaging about the harmful effects of smoking. 

1968 "Resurrection City," a shantytown constructed as part of the
Poor People's March on Washington D.C., was closed down by
authorities. 

1970 The U.S. Senate voted overwhelmingly to repeal the Gulf of
Tonkin Resolution. 

1982 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that no president could be
sued for damages connected with actions taken while serving as
President of the United States. 

1985 Natalia Solzhenitsyn the wife of exiled, Soviet author
Alexander Solzhenitsyn, became a U.S. citizen. 

1986 The Empire State Building was designated a National Historic
Landmark. 

1997 The U.S. Air Force released a report titled "The Roswell
Report, Case Closed" that dismissed the claims that an alien
spacecraft had crashed in Roswell, NM, in 1947. 

1998 AT&T Corp. struck a deal to buy cable TV giant Tele-
Communications Inc. for $31.7 billion. 

1998 Walt Disney World Resort admitted its 600-millionth guest. 

2002 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that juries, not judges, must
make the decision to give a convicted killer the death penalty. 

2002 A painting from Monet's Waterlilies series sold for $20.2
million. 

2018  smiled.




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Launchy 
Saturday, June 23, 2018, 07:14 AM
Posted by Administrator
		







---

Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday,  June 23

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Florida woman, clocked at 73 mph in 40 mph zone, 
admits to 'swerving' and being drunk
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, June 23 in
1868 Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an 
invention that he called a "Type-Writer." 

More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
I shall never be ashamed of citing a bad author 
if the line is good.
--- Seneca (5 BC - 65 AD) 

Now, in reality, the world have paid too great a compliment 
to critics, and have imagined them to be men of much greater
profundity than they really are.
--- Henry Fielding (1707 - 1754)
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

A civil servant is badly hurt falling down the stairs of the
Ministry of Absorption in Jerusalem. He is taken to Hadassah
hospital where he remains in a coma for several days.

Finally, an eye opens and his doctor tells him:

"My friend, I have bad news and I have good news. First of all,
you'll never be able to work again..."

"Nu," muttered the injured bureaucrat. "What's the bad news?"

_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

"TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR DEAD NEIGHBORS"

If you share a home with a friend or relative, be thankful.
They will give you company and support. And if you happen to
die, they will miss you dearly, especially when the dishes
start to pile up.

Not everyone is so lucky.

A 40-year-old woman in Marburg, Germany, lay dead in her
apartment for more than 10 months before police found her
body. The body was discovered only because the landlord
cared enough to ask, "Where's my darn rent?"

The woman's neighbors hadn't noticed anything strange. They
had apparently assumed she was hibernating. Just like Al
Gore.

Such cases seem to be a major problem in Germany, where
death often arrives a few months, even a few years, before
the undertaker. That's partly because of the country's
efficient banking system, which makes automatic bill-paying
so easy, even dead people can do it.

In 1998, a Hamburg man was found dead on his sofa. He had
expired five years earlier, but, sitting in front of his
television, he looked just as lively as most men. The only
thing missing was a sign that said, "I'd get up to answer
the door, but I'm dead tired."

Unfortunately Germany isn't the only country where dead
people are taking up valuable apartment space. Russian
workers once found a man's skeletal remains in a room in a
communal apartment. He had been dead for five years, but the
families sharing the other rooms were too preoccupied to
realize that a room was available.

Even people with roommates sometimes find themselves
neglected, as did 43-year-old William Everett Delaney. The
Key West, Florida, man lay dead on his kitchen floor for two
months. His 78-year-old roommate recalled that Delaney had
fallen on the floor, but thought he was still alive, perhaps
doing some close-up research on the kitchen tiles.

The roommate offered to take Delaney to the hospital or get
him something to eat or drink, but when Delaney didn't
reply, the roommate made the only logical conclusion:
Delaney was very stubborn.

The 78-year-old stepped over Delaney's body for two months,
probably shaking his head and thinking, "I wish he'd get up
and help me clean the kitchen. It's starting to get an awful
smell."

Nobody deserves to die so anonymously. That's why it's
important to check on your neighbors regularly, especially
if they're elderly. Just knock on their doors and ask if
they're OK.

You: "Hello! Is anyone there?"

Female neighbor (shouting from behind her door): "Whatever
you're selling, we don't want any. That includes religion."

You: "I'm not selling anything. I'm your neighbor. Just
stopping by to make sure you aren't dead."

Neighbor: "Dead? No, I don't think I'm dead. But I'm not
sure about my husband. He hasn't moved from the couch since
1983. Do you think that's abnormal?"

You: "Only if he isn't holding the remote."

If you don't want to disturb your neighbors, keep a lookout
for signs that they may have died years ago. Here are a few
telltales:

---The grass around their home is so tall, the Boy Scouts
want to camp there.

---Their blue Volvo has gradually turned white, getting a
free paint job from the birds.

---They have a sign on their driveway that reads, "Grover
Cleveland for President."

---They're still flying the confederate flag.
____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Stormi Winters, 29
St. Johns County Jail, 
Florida

Florida woman, clocked at 73 mph in 40 mph zone, 
admits to 'swerving' and being drunk

A St. Johns County woman was jailed on a misdemeanor DUI charge
after she was pulled over in the 1800 block of A1A in St.
Augustine. 

Stormi Winters, 29, was stopped at 11:24 p.m. on Wednesday by a St.
Johns County deputy, an arrest report said. 

Deputies said Winters was spotted driving erratically in her 2016
Kia on A1A. The arrest report said that Winters was speeding and
"violently turning left" instead of merging.

Winters was clocked going 73 mph in a 40 mph zone, deputies said.
She was asked if she knew why she was pulled over, she replied,
"Because I was swerving all over the road." When she was asking why
she was swerving, she replied, "Because I have been drinking," the
report said. 

Winters was texting "frantically" on her phone when she was pulled
over, the arrest report said. She told deputies that she consumed
"two or three" drinks at "Dunes." She was trying to get home to her
6-year-old son, the report said. 

Winters is being held in the St. Johns County Jail on $1,000 bond. 



Tech Support Pits
om: Leonard
Re: Launcher

Dear Webby
You once mentioned a program launcher to replace shortcut icons.
I use a lot of programs that I don't really want to advertise
on my work machine with shortcut icons, so that launcher would 
be a good solution, if it is still available.
Thanks
Leonard

Dear Leonard
Yes, launchy is still available. 
http://launchy.net/

Millions of us just love it!
For those of you, who don't know about it, it is a microscopic 
little program that launches whatever you want, by typing the first
letter or two of that program name, and hitting Enter.

ALT Spacebar opens Launchy. Then you type, for example W
it suggests "Word" and you hit Enter. WORD starts up, as if you had
found the shortcut icon and double-clicked it.
A for Ancestry. H for humor letter, and so on.

If you have many programs starting with W, it shows you a list of
them, for example
Wordpad
Weather
Wikipedia

You use the arrow keys to highlight the one you want,
and hit ENTER. You never have to take your fingers off the keyboard
and wrestle the cat for the mouse.

If you type numbers, it is a calculator. 

There are countless different "skins" available. I use a very basic
black background with a white entry line with black text. You can
use the default or pick whatever "skin" you  like. Just pick one
and figure out what you would like instead. It would take you years
to try them all.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

"Mommy, my turtle is dead," the little boy, Futh, sorrowfully
told his mother, holding the turtle out to her in his hand.

The mother kissed him on the head, then said," That's all right.
We'll wrap him in tissue paper, put him in a little box, then have
a nice burial ceremony in the back yard. After that, we'll go out
for an ice cream soda, and then get you a new pet.

"Ice cream?" the little boy said, wiping his tears and smiling,
"Oh! Boy!"

His mother said, "I don't want you...." Her voice trailed off as
she noticed the turtle move. "Futh, you're turtle is not dead
after all."

"Oh," the disappointed boy said. "Can I kill it?"




If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went
to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her
along.

"I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I
didn't catch a thing!"

"Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish
away," his mother said.

The boy said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Cooking Mushrooms
When cooking mushrooms, always be sure to cook them with
low heat and do not allow them to cook too long. If you do,
they will become tough and will shrivel. Very little
additional liquid is needed, because mushrooms
are ninety percent water.

Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________



The best of People Are Awesome!

___________________________________________________

David bought his wife a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later,
his friend Bill asked how she was doing with it.

"Oh," said David, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet."

"How come?" Bill asked.

"Well," he answered, "because with a clarinet, she can't sing,
plus she can tak it with her, and annoy other people."

___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in
London. The waiter says, "Excuse me, but if you wanted the
steak you might not get one as there is a shortage."

The Texan said, "What's a shortage?"
The Russian said, "What's a steak...?"
The New Yorker said, "What's excuse me....?"

____________________________________________________



Today, June 23 in
1683 William Penn signed a friendship treaty with Lenni Lenape
Indians in Pennsylvania. 

1700 Russia gave up its Black Sea fleet as part of a truce with the
Ottoman Empire. 

1758 British and Hanoverian armies defeated the French at Krefeld
in Germany. 

1760 The Austrians defeated the Prussians at Landshut, Germany. 

1757 Robert Clive defeated the Indians at Plassey and won control
of Bengal. 

1836 The U.S. Congress approved the Deposit Act, which contained a
provision for turning over surplus federal revenue to the states. 

1848 A bloody insurrection of workers in Paris erupted. 

1865 Confederate General Stand Watie, who was also a Cherokee
chief, surrendered the last sizable Confederate army at Fort
Towson, in the Oklahoma Territory. 

1868 Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for an invention
that he called a "Type-Writer." 

1884 A Chinese Army defeated the French at Bacle, Indochina. 

1902 Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Italy renewed the Triple
Alliance for a 12 year duration. 

1904 The first American motorboat race got underway on the Hudson
River in New York. 

1926 The first lip reading tournament in America was held in
Philadelphia, PA. 

1931 Wiley Post and Harold Gatty took off from New York on the
first round-the-world flight in a single-engine plane. 

1934 Italy gained the right to colonize Albania after defeating the
country. 

1938 The Civil Aeronautics Authority was established. 

1938 Marineland opened near St. Augustine, Florida. 

1947 The U.S. Senate joined the House in overriding President
Truman's veto of the Taft-Hartley Act. 

1951 Soviet U.N. delegate Jacob Malik proposed cease-fire
discussions in the Korean War. 

1952 The U.S. Air Force bombed power plants on Yalu River, Korea. 

1956 Gamal Abdel Nasser was elected president of Egypt. 

1966 Civil Rights marchers in Mississippi were dispersed by tear
gas. 

1972 U.S. President Nixon and White House chief of staff H.R.
Haldeman discussed a plan to use the CIA to obstruct the FBI's
Watergate investigation. 

2003 Apple Computer Inc. unveiled the new Power Mac desktop
computer. 

2004 The U.S. proposed that North Korea agree to a series of
nuclear disarmament measures over a three-month period in exchange
for economic benefits. 

2013 In Arizona, aerialist Nik Wallenda completed a quarter mile
tightrope walk over the Little Colorado River Gorge. 
My yellow cap is down in that gorge. 

2015 NASA's Mars Odyssey completed its 60,000th orbit around Mars.
The spacecraft entered orbit on October 23, 2001. 

2015 Verizon announced it had completed its $4.4 billion purchase
of AOL, Inc. Have not heard much about AOL since then.

2018  smiled.




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Spyware protection 
Friday, June 22, 2018, 09:17 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Friday,  June 22
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Chilling 911 call reveals abuse in Turpin family
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, June 22 in
1611 English explorer Henry Hudson, his son and several other
people were set adrift in present-day Hudson Bay by mutineers. 

More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
--- George Burns (1896 - 1996)

Washington is the only place where sound travels faster than light.
--- C. V. R. Thompson

"Miami was voted the worst road rage city. You have 20-year-   
olds doing 95, and 95-year-olds doing 20, that's why."   
--- Craig Ferguson 
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________
Asked by his third-grade teacher to spell "straight." The
boy did so correctly.

"Now," said the teacher, "what does it mean?"

"Without water."
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________




THE MILLAU VIADUCT – RECORD FIGURES
Length: 2,460 m (8,071 ft)
Width: 32 m (105 ft)
Maximum height: 343 m (1,125 ft), or 19 m higher than the Eiffel
Tower
Slope: 3.025 %, going up from north to south in the direction
Clermont-Ferrand – Béziers
Curve: 20 km (12.4 miles)
Height of the tallest pier (P2): 245 m (804 ft)
Height of the pylons: 87 m (285 ft)
Number of piers: 7
Length of the spans: Two end spans of 204 m (669 ft) each and six
central spans of 342 m (1,122 ft) each.
Number of stays: 154 (11 pairs per pylon laid out in one mono-axial
layer)
Tension of the stays: from 900 t to 1,200 t for the longest
Weight of the steel deck: 36,000 t, or 5 times that of the Eiffel
Tower
Volume of concrete: 85,000 m3, or 206,000 t
Cost of the construction: 400 Million Euros (585 m USD)
Contract duration: 78 years – 3 years for construction and 75 years
of operations
Structural guarantee: 120 years
_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

John and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant.
Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces
away noticed that John was suddenly and silently sliding
down his chair and under the table, while Mary acted quite
unconcerned.

Their waitress watched as John slid all the way down his
chair and out of sight under the table.

After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over
to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but
I think your husband just slid under the table."

The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Oh,
no he didn't.  In fact, my husband just walked in the front
door."
____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Louise Turpin, left, and David Turpin, right, sit in 
court for a preliminary hearing on June 20, 2018.

Louise Turpin, 49,
David Turpin, 56,
Perris, 
California

Chilling 911 call reveals abuse in Turpin family

The 17-year-old girl who called police to report her allegedly
abusive parents in Perris, California, said the house the family
lived in smelled so badly that she could barely breathe, and she
thought she and her 12 siblings might need to go to the doctor.

And when she struggled to remember the address of the home, the 911
operator asked her if she was around the corner from her house.
"Yeah, I think," the girl said. "I've never been out. I don't go
out much."
That chilling 911 call was made public Wednesday as part of a
preliminary hearing in the case against David and Louise Turpin,
the California couple accused of holding their 13 children captive
in a "house of horrors."

'I've never been out': Chilling 911 call reveals abuse in Turpin
family
By Sonya Hamasaki and Eric Levenson, CNN

Updated 4:06 AM ET, Thu June 21, 2018
Surveillance shows Turpin siblings' escape
Play Video

Surveillance shows Turpin siblings' escape 01:05
Riverside, California (CNN)The 17-year-old girl who called police
to report her allegedly abusive parents in Perris, California, said
the house the family lived in smelled so badly that she could
barely breathe, and she thought she and her 12 siblings might need
to go to the doctor.

And when she struggled to remember the address of the home, the 911
operator asked her if she was around the corner from her house.
"Yeah, I think," the girl said. "I've never been out. I don't go
out much."
That chilling 911 call was made public Wednesday as part of a
preliminary hearing in the case against David and Louise Turpin,
the California couple accused of holding their 13 children captive
in a "house of horrors."
Louise Turpin, left, and David Turpin, right, sit in court for a
preliminary hearing on June 20, 2018.
Louise Turpin, left, and David Turpin, right, sit in court for a
preliminary hearing on June 20, 2018.
Prosecutors say the couple beat and tortured their children, kept
them chained to their beds and starved them- all while the family
dogs were kept clean and well-fed.
They were arrested on January 14 after their 17-year-old daughter
escaped from a window and called 911 on a deactivated cell phone.
The Turpin siblings are comprised of six minors and seven adults,
ranging in age from 2 years old to 29.

David Turpin, 56, and Louise Turpin, 49, pleaded not guilty to more
than 40 charges, including torture, false imprisonment, abuse of a
dependent adult and child abuse. David Turpin also pleaded not
guilty to one count of lewd conduct with a minor.
Despite the horror of the 911 call, the girl's voice sounded
remarkably calm and clear while relating her experience. But the
call, as well as police who responded to the scene, provided
several disturbing new details from the home and the degree to
which the parents controlled their children's lives.
"I can't breathe because of how dirty the house is," the Turpin
daughter said on the call. "We don't take baths. I don't know if we
need to go to the doctor."

Accounts of abuse and starvation
Other Turpin children told investigators they were abused.
A 14-year-old girl said Louise Turpin threw her down the stairs
when she was caught in her mom's room, investigator Brett Rooker of
the Riverside County Sheriff's Office testified.
"She said she was terrified of her mother," he said.
An 11-year-old girl said that Louise Turpin would often punch them
with a closed fist and hit her with an open hand, Riverside County
Deputy Sheriff Daniel Brown testified. The girl said that
sometimes, her mother pulled her hair so forcefully it would lift
her off the ground, Brown said.

The girl said she was "always hungry," he further testified. The
children were fed jalapeno baloney sandwiches while the parents ate
Jersey Mike's, pizza and fries, he said. The girl said Louise
Turpin would buy apple juice but the children weren't allowed to
drink it. She kept pie in the fridge or pantry until it became
moldy and then threw it away.

A doctor who treated the family said the 11-year-old girl was in
the worst condition when the examined her, Patrick Morris,
Supervising Investigator for Riverside County District Attorney, 
testified.

She had a body weight percentile of .01 and her mid arm
circumference was equal to that of a 4.5-month-old baby, Morris
testified. The doctor said she had psychosocial dwarfism, stunted
growth due to living in an environment that is abusive or
neglected.
The 15-year-old boy had difficulty walking, vitamin D deficiency,
and visible scoliosis. He told the doctor that he wanted to kill
animals and could predict the future, Morris testified.

The 17-year-old Turpin daughter who made the 911 call weighed about
97 pounds with a BMI of 2.2% when doctors first examined her,
Morris said.
In other parts of the call, told the operator that her parents were
abusive and had chained up two of her sisters, and that she thought
her father had guns in the house. She also said she hadn't taken a
bath in almost a year.

Riverside Deputy Manuel Campos, who responded to the 911 call,
testified on Wednesday that the girl appeared much younger than 17.

"She appears not to bathe regularly," he also said. "There was odor
emitting from her body of one that doesn't bathe regularly."
The girl was shaking on the call and "scared to death" from the
daring escape out of the window, Campos said. She said that she was
kept in the room with her sisters for about 20 hours a day, and
that she was only allowed to leave the room to eat, use the
restroom and brush her teeth, Campos said.

If she broke the rules, she would be disciplined in the form of
knocking on the head, pulling of hair, or being smacked in the
face. After she watched a Justin Bieber video on a cell phone, her
mother choked her, she told Campos.

In addition to the physical abuse, there was a sexual incident with
her father, the girl told police. She said her father pulled her
pants down, grabbed her and put her on his lap. She tried to push
him away, and pulled her pants up, Campos said.
He also tried to force kisses on her mouth, she told Campos, and
this happened about 10 times. The girl said her father told her not
to tell anyone, Campos said.

They remain in custody in lieu of $12 million bail each after
pleading not guilty to all of their charges.



Tech Support Pits
om: Pat
Re: Spyware Protection

Dear Webby
 love your Humor Letter and was wondering if you could
help me...do you know what the best spyware protection
to run on your computer..I am haveing problems
and don't know what to get.
Thanks  Pat

Dear Pat
I use Spybot-Search&Destroy from the right side menu 
in the Humor Letter. That one is free.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

A woman in my office who had recently divorced after years   
of marriage, signed up for a refresher CPR course.   

"Is it hard to learn?" someone asked.   

"Not at all," my co-worker replied. "Basically you're asked   
to breathe life into a dummy. I don't expect to have any   
problem. I did that for 12 years."   




If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



Linda is taking the driving portion of her driver's   
license exam. She handles most of the maneuvers quite well.   
She has a little trouble parallel parking, however, and   
winds up a couple of feet from the curb.   

"Could you get a little closer?" the examiner asks.   

The blonde then unbuckles her seat belt and slides over   
toward the examiner. "Now what?"   
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Seafood Odors From Hands 
To remove seafood odor from your hands after dealing with
boiled shrimp, crab, fish, etc., simply sprinkle salt onto
wet hands, rub and rinse. No more odors. Lemon juice also
works well for removing seafood smells. By Patricia

Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________



Where is your
fernweh? My longing is for Cades Cove in the Great Smoky
Mountains.  The first and only time I visited it I cried all the
way through because it felt like I had "come home."Â  I also have a
longing for Scotland, Ireland and England, and have always felt I
didn't belong in this time period either.

___________________________________________________

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling
at the same kids.
--- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
--- Lori, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
someone to clean up after them.
--- Anita, age 9 

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
--- Kelvin, age 8
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.

A fellow got up one Saturday morning with the odd feeling
that something about this day was to be different.

Something unusual WAS about to happen today.
He glanced out the window at the thermometer:
33 degrees.  He went downstairs - the clock had
stopped at 3 o'clock.  He picked up the newspaper
and read the date: the 3rd of the month.

Threes - that was it!  He grabbed the paper and
flipped it open to the racing section.  Sure enough
in the 3rd race, there was a horse named Trio!
The fellow hurried to the bank, drew out his life
savings and bet it all on the horse to win.

The horse finished 3rd.
____________________________________________________



Today, June 22 in
1558 The French took the French town of Thioville from the English.

1611 English explorer Henry Hudson, his son and several other
people were set adrift in present-day Hudson Bay by mutineers. 

1772 Slavery was outlawed in England. 

1807 British seamen board the USS Chesapeake, a provocation leading
to the War of 1812. 

1815 Napoleon Bonaparte abdicated a second time. 

1832 J.I. Howe patented the pin machine. 

1874 Dr. Andrew Taylor Still began the first known practice of
osteopathy. 

1909 The first transcontinental auto race ended in Seattle, WA. 

1911 King George V of England was crowned. 

1915 Austro-German forces occupied Lemberg on the Eastern Front as
the Russians retreat. 

1925 France and Spain agreed to join forces against Abd el Krim in
Morocco. 

1933 Germany became a one political party country when Hitler
banned parties other than the Nazis. 

1939 The first U.S. water-ski tournament was held at Jones Beach,
on Long Island, New York. 

1940 France and Germany signed an armistice at Compiegne, on terms
dictated by the Nazis. 

1941 Under the codename Barbarossa, Germany invaded the Soviet
Union. 

1942 A Japanese submarine shelled Fort Stevens at the mouth of the
Columbia River. 

1942 V-Mail, or Victory-Mail, was sent for the first time. 

1944 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt signed the "GI Bill of
Rights" to provide broad benefits for veterans of the war. 

1945 During World War II, the battle for Okinawa officially ended
after 81 days. 

1946 Jet airplanes were used to transport mail for the first time. 

1956 The battle for Algiers began as three buildings in Casbah were
blown up. 

1964 The U.S. Supreme Court voted that Henry Miller's book, "Tropic
of Cancer", could not be banned. 

1970 U.S. President Richard Nixon signed an extension of the Voting
Rights Act of 1965. It required that the voting age in the United
States to be 18. 

1973 Skylab astronauts splashed down safely in the Pacific after a
record 28 days in space. 

1974 In Chicago, the Sears Tower Skydeck opened. (After 9/11 Sears
got scared and evacuated. It is now the Willis Tower) 

1978 James W. Christy and Robert S. Harrington discovered the only
known moon of Pluto. The moon is named Charon. 

1980 The Soviet Union announced a partial withdrawal of its forces
from Afghanistan. 

1989 The government of Angola and the anti-Communist rebels of the
UNITA movement agreed to a formal truce in their 14-year-old civil
war. 

1990 Checkpoint Charlie was dismantled in Berlin. 

1992 The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled that hate-crime laws
that ban cross-burning and similar expressions of racial bias
violated free-speech rights. 

1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that evidence illegally obtained
by authorities could be used at revocation hearings for a convicted
criminal's parole. 

1998 The 75th National Marbles Tournament began in Wildwood, NJ. 

1999 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that persons with remediable
handicaps cannot claim discrimination in employment under the
Americans with Disability Act. 

2009 Eastman Kodak Company announced that it would discontinue
sales of the Kodachrome Color Film.

2018  smiled.





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Fake INTERAC spams 
Thursday, June 21, 2018, 08:02 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday,  June 21
Longest day of the year!
That always makes me sad. The weather is going to get hotter,
but the days will get shorter. I don't really work outside much
anymore, it's just a hang over from my youth. Oh, well, I will get
over it by December 21, when the days will get longer again.

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
NJ Dealer charged with homicide after 
15-year-old customer's heroin overdose
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, June 21 in
1404 Owain Glyndwr established a Welsh Parliament at Machynlleth
and was crowned Prince of Wales.

More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
Wisdom is what's left after we've run out of personal opinions.
--- Cullen Hightower

Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist.
--- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

The difference between a job and a career is 
the difference between forty and sixty hours a 
week."
--- Robert Frost
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

An irate woman burst into the baker's shop and said, "I sent
my daughter in here for two pounds of cookies this morning, but
when I weighed them there was only one pound. I suggest that
you check your scales."

The baker looked at her calmly and replied, "Ma'am, I suggest
you weigh your daughter."
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



Wilson's bird-of-paradise
_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I
noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house.

"Is that your grandmother?" I asked.

"Yes," Chris said. "She's visiting."

"How nice," I said. "Where does she live?"

"At the airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we need her,
we just go out there and get her."
____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Austin Cooper,
21,
Willingboro,
New Jersey

NJ Dealer charged with homicide after 
15-year-old customer's heroin overdose

A suspected heroin dealer was charged with homicide on Monday after
one of his customers a 15-year-old girl fatally overdosed just
after Christmas last year.

Austin Cooper, 21, of Willingboro, was charged with first-degree
strict liability for drug-induced death, the Burlington County
Prosecutor's Office said in a statement.

On December 26, a family member found Madison McDonald unresponsive
at her home in Evesham Township's Marlton section.

She was barely alive and transported to Virtua Marlton Hospital,
and later flown to Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. She died on
December 28. 

Authorities investigating McDonald's death found that Cooper
delivered 10 bags of heroin to the home before she died. He was
charged at the time possessing and dealing heroin.

Burlington County Prosecutor Scott Coffina has pledged to
"aggressively" pursue the strict liability charge when possible in
prosecution, to help fight the opioid epidemic.

On that charge, a dealer can face 10 to 20 years in state prison,
as opposed to three to five years for drug distribution.



Tech Support Pits
From: Ana
Re: Interac

Dear Webby
I keep getting these emails looking like they are from Interac
claiming that somebody, whose name I have never heard of, had sent
me money. Well, nobody ever sends money to me, so I just let
MailWasher dump it. Mailwasher flags it as bad.
Is there the slightest chance that one of Hillary's buddies is
trying to send me money to mess with the next election?
I doubt it.
So, what is that stuff?
Ana

Dear Ana
Trust MailWasher.
It is just spam from Russia. I get it too.
It LOOKS like an Interac notice, but with wacky spelling in the
hidden header.
Just let MailWasher dump it, and most definitely don't click on
anything in those fake Interac notices.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

A tractor salesman was passing a farm, where the farmer
was plowing the field with a bull. He goes over and offers
to sell the farmer a tractor to plow with. The farmer tells
him "I don't need a tractor, I have three new ones at the
barn"

Well if you have three new tractors at the barn, why are you
plowing this field with that bull, asked the salesman ?

The farmer replied, "This is part of the bulls continuing
education. I am teaching him that there is more to farming
than messing with cows and tearing down fences.




If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




Doctor!" said the woman as she loudly bounced
into the room, "I want you to tell me very frankly
what's wrong with me."

He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam,"
he said at length, "I've just three things to tell
you."

"First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds.
Second, you should use about one tenth as
much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist -
the doctor's office is on the next floor."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Beans Without Gas 
You can reduce gas from eating beans by boiling beans for
1/2 hour, rinsing, and soaking for several more hours. This
methods works because triglycerides soak out and get
discarded. I rinse beans multiple times, even canned ones.
By Rose

Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________



Secret doomsday shelters......

___________________________________________________

Blue-haired old aunts used to come up to me at weddings,
poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me "You're next!"

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them
at funerals.
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


When an express train to London made an unscheduled stop
at Reading, the philosopher, C.E.M. Joad, climbed aboard.

"You¹ve got to get off sir," the guard told him, "this train
doesn¹t stop here."

Replied Joad, "In that case, don't worry.
If it didn't stop here, I didn't get on it."
____________________________________________________



Today, June 21 in
1404 Owain Glyndwr established a Welsh Parliament at Machynlleth
and was crowned Prince of Wales. 

1788 The U.S. Constitution went into effect when New Hampshire
became the ninth state to ratify it. 

1834 Cyrus McCormick patented the first practical mechanical reaper
for farming. His invention allowed farmers to more than double
their crop size. 

1859 Andrew Lanergan received the first rocket patent. 

1893 The Ferris Wheel was introduced at the World's Columbian
Exposition in Chicago, IL. 

1913 Georgia Broadwick became the first woman to jump from an
airplane. 

1937 In Paris, Leon Blum's Popular Front Cabinet resigned. 

1938 In Washington, U.S. President Roosevelt signed the $3.75
billion Emergency Relief Appropriation Act. 

1941 German troops entered Russia on a front from the Arctic to
Black Sea. 

1945 Pan Am announced an 88-hour round-the-world flight at a cost
of $700. 

1954 The American Cancer Society reported significantly higher
death rates among cigarette smokers than among non-smokers. 

1958 In Arkansas, a federal judge let Little Rock delay school
integration. 

1958 Linus Pauling and Detlev Bronke, both Americans, were elected
to the Soviet Academy of Science. 

1963 France announced that they were withdrawing from the North
Atlantic NATO fleet. 

1973 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that states may ban materials
found to be obscene according to local standards. 

1974 The U.S. Supreme Court decided that pregnant teachers could no
longer be forced to take long leaves of absence. 

1985 Scientists announced that skeletal remains exhumed in Brazil
were those of Nazi war criminal Josef Mengele. 

1989 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that burning the American flag as
a form of political protest was protected by the First Amendment. 

2001 Former Haitian Army colonel Carl Dorelien taken into custody
in Port St. Lucie. Dorelien had been in exile since 1994 when he
was sentenced to life in prison for his role in a 1994 massacre. 

2003 The fifth Harry Potter book, "Harry Potter and the Order of
the Phoenix," was published by J.K. Rowling. Amazon.com shipped out
more than one million copies on this day making the day the largest
distribution day of a single item in e-commerce history. The book
set sales records around the world with an estimated 5 million
copies were sold on the first day. 

2004 SpaceShipOne, designed by Burt Rutan and piloted by Mike
Melvill, reached 328,491 feet above Earth in a 90 minute flight.
The height is about 400 feet above the distance scientists consider
to be the boundary of space.

2018  smiled.





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Any allowance for autoresponders? 
Wednesday, June 20, 2018, 08:47 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday,  June 20

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Police find suspected burglar hiding 
under bed with legs poking out
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, June 20 in
1977 The Trans-Alaska Pipeline began operation. 
Still works fine.

More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
I'm still an atheist, thank God.
--- Luis Bunuel (1900 - 1983)

I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.
--- Margaret Thatcher (1925 - ),
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Schwartz goes to see his Rabbi.
He says, "Rabbi, I think my wife is poisoning me."

The Rabbi says, "I'll tell you what...let me talk to her.
I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."

A week later the Rabbi calls Schwartz and says,
"I spoke to your wife on the phone for four hours,
or rather listened to her for four hours."

Schwartz says, Do you have any advice?"

The Rabbi says, "Yeah. Take the poison."
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________




_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly
Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now but our
computer's down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week
but you can't go back as humans. What'll it be?"

The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring
above the Rocky mountains." "So be it," says St. Peter and off
flies the first priest.

The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any
of this week 'count', St. Peter?"

"No, I told you the computer's down.
There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing. The week's a
freebie."

"In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a
stud."

"So be it," says St. Peter and the second priest disappears.

A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter
to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating
them?" He asks. 

"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere
over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could
prove to be more difficult."

"Why?" asketh the Lord.

St. Peter answered, "He's on a snow tire somewhere in Tasmania."
____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by



Jan Sivak,
Calderdale,
England

Todays Bonehead Award:
Police find suspected burglar hiding 
under bed with legs poking out

If you’re going to hide from the police, perhaps it would be wise
to make sure your legs aren’t sticking out from beneath your bed.
Burglary suspect Jan Sivak didn’t follow this advice and was
snapped with his feet hanging out at his home in Halifax.

West Yorkshire Police then posted the picture on social media with
the caption: ‘He will not be winning any awards for hide-and-seek
champion soon.’ 

Sivak, from Halifax, had gone on the run after failing to surrender
to bail at Bradford Magistrates Court on Tuesday. He had been
accused of stealing £4,500 in cash from a fish and chip shop. After
he was caught he eventually appeared in court and admitted failing
to surrender, which he received a 14 day sentence for.

Gulfraz Khan, defending, said Sivak had tried to get to court on
the day of his appearance but was unsuccessful.
Sivak pleaded not guilty to burglary of a non-dwelling and was
remanded into custody until July 28 for trial at Bradford Crown
Court.



Tech Support Pits
From: Brenda
Re: Is there any allowance for auto-responders?

Dear Webby
I can understand that with your volume of mail you 
consider autoresponders a silly and unnhecessary nuisance. 
I use Hoitmail and Yahoo mail, and as you probably know,
they are a bit flakey and one never knkows if mail to me
actually got through.

Woould an auto-responder be OK in my case, telling people
that their mail did get to me and will be answered soon?
Brenda

Dear Brenda
Get Gmail. It is free, and very reliable. I have used it since
it got started, and have not lost any mail.
Some got accidentally sorted into the spam or trash folder,
but it DID arrive.

Using an autoresponder because you are sleeping or on the potty is
silly. If somebody expects an instant reply, then you should tell
them to get a life and consider that other people have lives too!

I answer mail at all times of day or night. Depending on the time
zone, people might be sleeping or cooking or shopping or working
away from their computer. So, what?
Sooner or later they will see my mail, and that will be soon
enough.

I also know that many people use their employer's computer for
their email. If their address has the domain of some company, then
I know not to expect answers on the weekend. I do NOT need an
autoresponder telling me that Ms Hortensia Buttflower will return
to work on Monday.

The same probably applies to you and your contacts. If you don't
reply instantly, the smarter ones will realize that you might be
working on something else, or sleeping.

Once you get Gmail or any reliable mail, forget about having to be
a nuisance.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a
yard sale and said to the homeowner, "My husband is going
to be very angry when he finds out I stopped at a yard sale."

"I'm sure he'll understand when you tell him about all the
bargains," the homeowner replied.

"Normally, yes," the lady said. "But he just fell off the roof
and broke both his legs, and he's waiting for me to take
him to the hospital."



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew,
the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising
altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for
your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight
attendants."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Sweetening Whipped Cream
Sweeten homemade whipped cream with Confectioner's (powdered)
sugar instead of granulated sugar, if you like sweet
whipped cream. The cream will hold its shape better, and be
fluffier. By Nancy

Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________



Illusions that make you question your eyesight.

___________________________________________________

The priest was passing a group of young teens sitting on
the church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing.

"Nothing much, father," replied one boy. "We were just seeing
who can tell the biggest lie about their sex life."

"Boys, boys, boys!" he scolded. "I'm shocked. When I was
your age, I never even thought about sex."

In unison they all replied, "You win!"
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


Thanks to Cookie for this story:
Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out
that the topic of "Show and Tell" that day had been parents'
occupations.

The teacher pulled me aside.
Whispering, she advised, "You might want to explain a little
bit more to your daughter what you do for a living."

I work as a training consultant and often conduct my seminars
in motel conference rooms. When I asked why, the teacher
explained, "Your daughter told the class she wasn't sure
what you did, but said you got dressed real pretty and went
to work at motels."
____________________________________________________



Today, June 20 in
0451 Roman and Barbarian warriors brought Attila's army to a halt
at the Catalaunian Plains in eastern France. 

1397 The Union of Kalmar united Denmark, Sweden, and Norway under
one monarch. 

1756 In India, 150 British soldiers were imprisoned in a cell that
became known as the "Black Hole of Calcutta." 

1782 The U.S. Congress approved the Great Seal of the United
States. 

1791 King Louis XVI of France was captured while attempting to flee
the country in the so-called Flight to Varennes. 

1793 Eli Whitney applied for a cotton gin patent. He received the
patent on March 14. The cotton gin initiated the American mass-
production concept. 

1837 Queen Victoria ascended the British throne following the death
of her uncle, King William IV. 

1863 The National Bank of Philadelphia in Philadelphia, PA, became
the first bank to receive a charter from the U.S. Congress. 

1898 The U.S. Navy seized the island of Guam enroute to the
Phillipines to fight the Spanish. 

1910 Mexican President Porfirio Diaz proclaimed martial law and
arrested hundreds. 

1923 France announced it would seize the Rhineland to assist
Germany in paying its war debts. That did not go mover well.

1928 Washburn-Crosby Company merged with 26 other mills to become
General Mills. 

1941 The U.S. Army Air Forces was established, replacing the Army
Air Corps. The Army Air Forces were abolished with the creation of
the United States Air Force in 1947. 

1943 Race-related rioting erupted in Detroit. Federal troops were
sent in two days later to end the violence that left more than 30
dead. 

1947 Benjamin "Bugsy" Siegel was murdered in Beverly Hills, CA, at
the order of mob associates angered over the soaring costs of his
project, the Flamingo resort in Las Vegas, NV. 

1963 The United States and Soviet Union signed an agreement to set
up a hot line communication link between the two countries. 

1967 Muhammad Ali was convicted in Houston of violating Selective
Service laws by refusing to be drafted. The U.S. Supreme Court
later overturned the conviction. 

1977 The Trans-Alaska Pipeline began operation. 

1997 The tobacco industry agreed to a massive settlement in
exchange for major relief from mounting lawsuits and legal bills. 

2002 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the execution of mentally
retarded murderers was unconstitutionally cruel. The vote was 6 in
favor and 3 against. 

2018  smiled.





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Autoresponders 
Tuesday, June 19, 2018, 09:54 AM
Posted by Administrator
		






---

Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday,  June 19

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Woman called 'Asian Persuasion' accused 
of robbing man in his W OKC hotel room
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, June 19 in
0240 BC Eratosthenes calculated the circumference of the Earth
using the length of the shadow of his walking stick at two
locations, and trigonometry. He was quite accurate. 

More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and that 
which we take the least care of all to acquire.
--- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613 - 1680) 
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________

Little Johnny was in his math class one day when the
teacher singled him out.
"If I gave you $200," the teacher began, "and you gave
$50 to Mary, $50 to Sally and $50 to Susan, what would
you have?"

"Well, it sure would be no orgy!" Johnny  answered,
"Helen, my girlfriend, would bust my skull for that!"
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________



_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

 had been misbehaving and was sent to bed.
After a while  emerged and informed mother
that  had thought it over and then said a
prayer.

"Fine", said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to
help you about your misbehaving, He will help you."

"Oh, I don't need help with misbehavin' ", said
. "I asked Him to help me not to get
caught quite so much."
____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Geiselle Stevenson,
31,
Oklahoma City,
Oklahoma

Woman called 'Asian Persuasion' accused 
of robbing man in his W OKC hotel room

Police are looking for a woman who goes by the name "Asian
Persuasion" who they say helped rob a man at a hotel.

It happened at the Ramada at 2200 S. Meridian. Police say the
suspect whose real name is Geiselle Stevenson helped men ambush the
victim.

The victim was staying at the hotel from out of town. He told
police he went to pick her up at her apartment at the 10 West
Apartments and took her back to his room.

When he opened the door, he told police two men came up behind him
and forced him into the room at gunpoint. The three of them made
off with his clothing and cash, and yanked the gold chain he was
wearing around his neck.

Police are looking for a woman who goes by the name "Asian
Persuasion" on the street, who they say helped rob a man at a
hotel.

They escaped in a gray Chevy Impala with a "Jesus" sticker on the
back.

The victim told police it was Stevenson, describing the tattoos on
her face and the gem studs in her cheeks.

Police are looking for a woman who goes by the name "Asian
Persuasion" who they say helped rob a man at a hotel. She has a
number of previous arrests.

Back in March, Stevenson was in the news after police say she tried
to steal a woman's purse in a motel parking lot. Then, she was
caught trying to sneak into a man's room before he slammed the door
in her face. She did end up inside another victim's room.

The robbers stole four pairs of the victim's Jordan sneakers
totaling about $840 and a $600 gold chain, among other belongings,
according to the report. 

One of the men, whom police identified as Dennico Henderson, 25,
held the victim at gun point with a .40-caliber semiautomatic
pistol while the other man and Asian Persuasion went through the
victim's belongings, according to the report. 

Police impounded the Chevy Impala. They are still looking for
Stevenson.         

Henderson, the   gunman, was arrested and released on bail.



Tech Support Pits
From: Lollytoo
Re: Unavailable

Hello, I am unavailable to read your message at this time
Lollytoo

Dear Lollytoo
You don't really have to tell me each time when you are
busy playing with yourself.

Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.


Sue noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale,
sucking in his stomach.
Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this
maneuver, she commented,
"I don't think that is going to help."

"Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see
the numbers"




If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!




A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure
anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with
what he can do. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the
town grouch.

So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that
he wasn't anybody special.   "Hey, doc, I have lost my
sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin'
to do?"

The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself
a little, then tells Mr. Smith,
"What you need is jar number 43."

Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders.

So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it.
He tastes it and immediately spits it out,
"This is gross!" he yells.

"I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the
doctor. That will be $100.

So Mr. Smith goes home very mad.

One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor
along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts,
"I can't remember!"

The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself
a little and tells Mr. Smith:
"What you need is jar number 43..."

Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled
the office.
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Keeping Tupperware Unstained
In order to keep your Tupperware looking new, try this.
Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray
before pouring in tomato based sauces. There won't
be any stains, it should all just wash out.

Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________



When dentures used real human teeth.

___________________________________________________

Q:  How can I avoid always being handed other
peoples' drooling brats?
A:  Drop one or two.

Keep your hands in your pockets when they try to foist 
them on you. That method really works!
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


A man and his wife were planning a vacation. They ended up in an
argument, though..."It's 'Hawaii', I'm telling you!" she said. "I
never KNEW someone so stubborn! 'Havaii' is how it's pronounced!"
he replied. And so it went all the way to the vacation... As they
got off the airplane, they passed a man. The husband abruptly
stopped the wife and turned to the man to ask, 
"Now that we're on the island, you can settle an argument between
my wife and me. Is this'Hawaii' or 'Havaii?'" 

"This is Havaii," the man replied.

"Ha!" the husband gloated, turning to his wife. "See, didn't I tell
you never to argue with me? I'm alllll-ways right!" 

As they began to walk away, he turned back and gave the man a
hearty "Thank you!" 

"You're Velcome!!!"
____________________________________________________



Today, June 19 in
0240 BC Eratosthenes calculated the circumference of the Earth
using the length of the shadow of his walking stick at two
locations, and trigonometry. He was quite accurate.

1586 English colonists sailed away from Roanoke Island, NC, after
failing to establish England's first permanent settlement in
America. 

1778 U.S. General George Washington's troops finally left Valley
Forge after a winter of training. 

1821 The Ottomans defeated the Greeks at the Battle of Dragasani. 

1846 The New York Knickerbocker Club played the New York Club in
the first baseball game at the Elysian Field, Hoboken, NJ. It was
the first organized baseball game. 

1862 U.S. President Abraham Lincoln outlined his Emancipation
Proclamation, which outlawed slavery in U.S. territories. 

1864 The USS Kearsarge sank the CSS Alabama off of Cherbourg,
France. 

1865 The emancipation of slaves was proclaimed in Texas. 

1873 Eadweard Muybridge successfully photographed a horse named
"Sallie Gardner" in fast motion using a series of 24 stereoscopic
cameras. This is considered the first step toward motion pictures. 

1903 The young school teacher, Benito Mussolini, was placed under
investigation by police in Bern, Switzerland. 

1910 The first Father's Day was celebrated in Spokane, Washington. 

1911 In Pennsylvania, the first motion-picture censorship board was
established. 

1912 The U.S. government established the 8-hour work day. 

1917 During World War I, King George V ordered the British royal
family to dispense with German titles and surnames. 

1933 France granted Leon Trotsky political asylum. 

1934 The U.S. Congress established the Federal Communications
Commission (FCC). The commission was to regulate radio and TV
broadcasting. 

1937 The town of Bilbao, Spain, fell to the Nationalist forces. 

1939 In Atlanta, GA, legislation was enacted that disallowed
pinball machines in the city. 

1942 Norma Jeane Mortenson (Marilyn Monroe) and her 21-year-old
neighbor Jimmy Dougherty were married. They were divorced in June
of 1946. 

1942 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill arrived in
Washington, DC, to discuss the invasion of North Africa with U.S.
President Roosevelt. 

1943 Henry Kissinger became a naturalized United States citizen. 

1944 The U.S. won the battle of the Philippine Sea against the
Imperial Japanese fleet. 

1951 U.S. President Harry S. Truman signed the Universal Military
Training and Service Act, which extended Selective Service until
July 1, 1955 and lowered the draft age to 18. 

1958 In Washington, DC, nine entertainers refused to answer a
congressional committee's questions on communism. 

1961 Kuwait regained complete independence from Britain. 

1961 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a provision in Maryland's
constitution that required state officeholders to profess a belief
in God. 

1964 The Civil Rights Act of 1964 was approved after surviving an
83-day filibuster in the U.S. Senate. 

1965 Air Marshall Nguyen Cao Ky became South Vietnam's youngest
premier at age 34. 

1968 50,000 people marched on Washington, DC. to support the Poor
People's Campaign. 

1973 The Case-Church Amendment prevented further U.S. involvement
in Southeast Asia. 

1973 Pete Rose (Cincinnati Reds) got his 2,000th career hit. 

1973 The stage production of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" opened
in London. 

1973 Gordie Howe left the NHL to join his sons Mark and Marty in
the WHA (World Hockey League). 

1978 Garfield was in newspapers around the U.S. for the first time.

1981 "Superman II" set the all-time, one-day record for theater
box-office receipts when it took in $5.5 million. 

1981 The European Space Agency sent two satellites into orbit from
Kourou, French Guiana. 

1983 Lixian-nian was chosen to be China's first president since
1969. 

1987 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Louisiana law that
required that schools teach creationism. 

1989 The movie "Batman" premiered. 

1998 Gateway was fined more than $400,000 for illegally shipping
personal computers to 16 countries subject to U.S. export controls.

1998 A study released said that smoking more than doubles risks of
developing dementia and Alzheimer's. 

1998 Switzerland's three largest banks offered $600 million to
settle claims they'd stolen the assets of Holocaust victims during
World War II. Jewish leaders called the offer insultingly low. 

2000 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a group prayer led by
students at public-school football games violated the 1st
Amendment's principle that called for the separation of church and
state. 

2018  smiled.





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Bacdjking up to the cloud 
Monday, June 18, 2018, 07:56 AM
Posted by Administrator
		







---

Good Morning, !
Today is Monday,  June 18

Have FUN!
Dearwebby

Todays Bonehead Award:
Homeowner Returns From Work, 
Interrupts Pot And Cake Party
Bonehead
______________________________________________________
Today, June 18 in
1812 The War of 1812 began as the U.S. declared war against 
Great Britain. The conflict began over trade restrictions. 

More of today in history at HIstory
______________________________________________________



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, 
please donate what you can!



______________________________________________________
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children 
have teenagers of their own.
--- Doug Larson  

Perhaps in time the so-called Dark Ages will be thought 
of as including our own.
--- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799)

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to
fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an
artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.
--- Jay Leno
______________________________________________________
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

______________________________________________________
A van carrying a dozen movie stuntmen on the way to a film
location in the mountains of Alberta spun out of control on
 the icy road, crashed through a guard-rail, rolled down a
1200-foot embankment, landed on it's roof, and burst into
flames.

There were no injuries.
One of them yelled: "Let's do it again!"
_____________________________________________________


______________________________________________________

Thanks to Linda for this picture:


Plitvice Lakes in Croatia
_____________________________________________________


If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!

Thanks for your votes!
_____________________________________________________

A driver who was bringing a meticulously prepared and
pre-dented bus to a location in New York City for an
on-location movie shoot, was too early and drove to a nearby
restaurant to wait there. Just to be funny, he carefully lined
up the artificial dent at the front with a light pole.

When he came back out of the restaurant, there were eight
passengers in the bus, moaning and groaning and "Oy-vey-it's me"
ing about whiplash and talking to their lawyers on their
cellphones.
____________________________________________________


An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD 
has been earned by

Jeremiah Garib,
19,
Morganfield,
Kentucky

Homeowner Returns From Work, 
Interrupts Pot And Cake Party

Four Union County residents have been accused of breaking into a
woman's house, smoking marijuana, baking a cake and stealing a pair
of shoes.

It happened around 3 p.m. Monday on East Houston Street, according
to 'The Gleaner.' 

The Morganfield Police Department says a resident came home from
work to find Jeremiah Garib, 19, Xavion R. Elkins, 20, and two
juveniles running out of her house.

Officials said the resident was able to positively identify Garib
as an acquaintance of her son, who was not home. MPD Chief Geoffrey
Deibler said Garib, Elkins and the juveniles did not have
permission to be in the dwelling.

Police said after looking around the house, the owner discovered
that she'd interrupted a party of sorts with cake, ice cream, and
marijuana.

"When the individuals broke into the home they had baked a cake,
and were preparing to eat the cake and some ice cream when the
homeowner returned home from work," a news release said. "Upon
fleeing they had left some marijuana residue inside the home and
the smell of smoked marijuana was in the air."

In a later interview with The Gleaner, Chief Deibler said the group
apparently couldn't find icing so they opened a jar of homemade jam
and were using it to ice the cake.

Garib had allegedly left his shirt and loafers behind, but had
taken the time to grab a pair of the resident's son's shoes,
Deibler said.

When Garib allegedly left the house, he went to a local business
called Theramax on North Court Street. There he hid some marijuana
that had been "packaged for sale" in a trash can, Deibler said.

Two were arrested and face charges. 



Tech Support Pits
From: Bill
Re: Cloud Backup, again

Dear Webby,
Good Morning:
I was wondering if you have had a chance to consider my question
about cloud backup. I am presently backing up to two external
drives using "EaseUS ToDo". I find this to be less than
satisfactory, because I still lose data.

The original email appears below.
Thanks again.
Bill

Hi Bill
I answered you on June  14.
Look for the one where I mentioned Xcopy.

To: gardner@cottagecountry.net
Subject: Re: Cloud Backup 

Are you blocking me or sending me to your SPAM folder?

Here it is again:
==================================
Hi Bill
By using an intelligent method to backing up, you can save yourself
a lot of money.

For example, Windows is stashed on a hidden partition and can be
re-installed from there. If the hard drive fails, you can get it
again from the manufacturer.

Most programs you can download again and re-install, if you have
saved the download URL and your registration or serial number. You
can print those.

Do that with everything, except the stuff you have created or
received.
That will actually be very little and will easily fit into a free
Google Cloud back-up.

You can even put it onto a thumb drive or camera chip.
You can use a DOS bat using xcopy, the world's most powerful
"program".
With xcopy you just copy what is newer at the source than at the
destination, a trick that saves a lot of time and space.

Make a plain text list of what you want to back up.
then write a "bat" using that list and pasting
xcopy /D /E /C /H /I /O /R /Y /Z 
in the front of each line,
and at the end a space and the destination.

An example line would be:
xcopy /D /E /C /H /I /O /R /Y /Z C:\Program Files
(x86)\Qualcomm\Eudora\*.* I:\alpha\eudora

I: in this case is the camera chip, that you use for back-up.

Once you got all the goodies listed like that, save the file as
back.bat
Find the file with the file explorer, and make a shortcut icon for
it, and drag that to the desktop.

Now, every time you swat that shortcut, it will check all items in
your list to see what is newer on the computer than on the camera
chip. It won't waste time on stuff, that is not newer, and just
back up what is newer.

You can, of course, use two camera chips, one to be in your safety
deposit box, and the other in a chip reader, and once a month you
swap the chips.

All those "switches"  (/D /E /C /H /I /O /R /Y /Z) are optional.
You can read up on them here, but no need to study and memorize
them. 
Just use them the way I got them in the example.

You can, of course, use different ones. Up to you.


XCOPY source [destination] [/A | /M] [/D[:date]] [/P] [/S [/E]]
[/V] [/W]
                           [/C]  [/Q] [/F] [/L] [/G] [/H] [/R]
[/T] [/U]
                           [/K] [/N] [/O] [/X] [/Y] [/-Y] [/Z] 
                           [/EXCLUDE:file1[+file2][+file3]...]

  source       Specifies the file(s) to copy.
  destination  Specifies the location and/or name of new files.
  /A           Copies only files with the archive attribute set,
               doesn't change the attribute.
  /M           Copies only files with the archive attribute set,
               turns off the archive attribute.
  /D:m-d-y     Copies files changed on or after the specified date.
               If no date is given, copies only those files whose
               source time is newer than the destination time.
  /EXCLUDE:file1[+file2][+file3]...
               Specifies a list of files containing strings.  Each
string
               should be in a separate line in the files.  When any
of the
               strings match any part of the absolute path of the
file to be
               copied, that file will be excluded from being
copied.  For
               example, specifying a string like \obj\ or .obj will
exclude
               all files underneath the directory obj or all files
with the
               .obj extension respectively.
  /P           Prompts you before creating each destination file.
  /S           Copies directories and subdirectories except empty
ones.
  /E           Copies directories and subdirectories, including
empty ones.
               Same as /S /E. May be used to modify /T.
  /V           Verifies the size of each new file.
  /W           Prompts you to press a key before copying.
  /C           Continues copying even if errors occur.
  /I           If destination does not exist and copying more than
one file,
               assumes that destination must be a directory.
  /Q           Does not display file names while copying.
  /F           Displays full source and destination file names
while copying.
  /L           Displays files that would be copied.
  /G           Allows the copying of encrypted files to destination
that does
               not support encryption.
  /H           Copies hidden and system files also.
  /R           Overwrites read-only files.
  /T           Creates directory structure, but does not copy
files. Does not
               include empty directories or subdirectories. /T /E
includes
               empty directories and subdirectories.
  /U           Copies only files that already exist in destination.
  /K           Copies attributes. Normal Xcopy will reset read-
only attributes.
  /N           Copies using the generated short names.
  /O           Copies file ownership and ACL information.
  /X           Copies file audit settings (implies /O).
  /Y           Suppresses prompting to confirm you want to
overwrite an
               existing destination file.
  /-Y          Causes prompting to confirm you want to overwrite an
               existing destination file.
  /Z           Copies networked files in restartable mode.
  /B           Copies the Symbolic Link itself versus the target of
the link.
  /J           Copies using unbuffered I/O. Recommended for very
large files.

Instead of a camera chip, you can, of course, also back up onto
Google Drive, Microsoft Drive, BackBlaze, whatever. Entirely up to
you.

The major advantage is that Xcopy is extremely fast, since it does
not waste time on files, that are not new since the last back-up.
That greatly reduces the chance of a power bump or impatient shut-
down while a back-up is still in progress.
===========================



From: Darlene
Re: SecurityCenter.FirewallDisableNotify

Good Morning, DearWebby
This is in reply to Don and removing the Firewall Disable
notify from his Spybot.  I had the same problem all the time
and finally I right clicked on it when it appeared in the
remove panel and then clicked on DO NOT CHECK FOR
THIS and it stopped coming up all the time.

Have a super day and thanks again for the great humour letter
Darlene

Dear Darlene
yes, that certainly works, and with that particular item is
quite safe to use. You can also tell it not to worry about
navigational cookies for your bank, telephone company
Amazon, and other legitimate places.
Have FUN
DearWebby



Automatically move ALL your settings and programs. 
No need to re-install them. 
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.

From Shirley:

Sensational warnings spawned south of the border
WASHINGTON (AP) - An odd-looking Canadian quarter with a
bright red flower was the culprit behind a false espionage
warning from the U.S. Defense Department about mysterious
coins with radio frequency transmitters, The Associated Press
has learned.

The harmless ''poppy quarter'' was so unfamiliar to suspicious
U.S. army contractors travelling in Canada that they filed
confidential espionage accounts about them. The worried
contractors described the coins as ''filled with something
man-made that looked like nano-technology,'' according to
once classified U.S. government reports and e-mails
obtained by the AP.

The silver-coloured 25-cent piece features the red image of a
poppy, Canada's flower of remembrance and support for the
troops, inlaid over a maple leaf..
..........
Shirley


Dear Shirley
We don't just have Support The Troops quarters with the red
poppy, we also have Breast Cancer Quarters with the pink
ribbon. This one is a bit worn, but the only one I had in my
wallet today.


Ask your friends to click on the pretty link to the Breast
Cancer Site in the right side menu! Give them a free gift
subscription to the Humor Letter to make sure they click.

Last time I looked you and others who clicked on the breast
cancer site button funded 12.1 mammograms for women who
could not afford one. That is awesome!

Have FUN!
DearWebby



If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!



A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not
necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed
his statement after he gave it to the police.

"For example," he said, "when I entered my chambers today, I
was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I
remembered that I left in on my nightstand in my bedroom."

When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him
"Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn't sending three men
to pick it up for you a bit extreme?"

"What?" said the judge, "I didn't send anyone for my watch,
let alone three people. What did you do?"

"I gave it to the first one," said the wife, "he knew exactly
where it was."
____________________________________________________

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Potato Storage 
To keep potatoes from budding, place a small apple in the
bag with the potatoes. You should also store them in a dark,
cool location and keep them away from onions, to avoid
moldy potatoes and onions.

Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com

____________________________________________________



Let's snoop around F. Scott Fitzgerald's French Villa

___________________________________________________

An ancient classic:
A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day, she dials
her home and a strange woman answers. The woman says, " Who is
this?" 

"This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don't have a maid,"
said the woman.

The maid says, "I was hired this morning by the man of the house." 

The woman says, "Well, this is his wife. Is he there?" 

The maid replied, "He is upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I
figured was his wife." 

The woman is fuming. she says to the maid, "Listen, would you like
to make $50,000?" 

The maid says, "What will I have to do?" The woman tells her,
"I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the jerk and the
witch he's with."

The maid puts the phone down; the woman hears footsteps and the gun
shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the
bodies?" 

The woman says, "Throw them in the swimming pool."

Puzzled, the maid answers, "But there's no pool here."

A long pause
and the woman says, "Is this 555-4821?"
___________________________________________________


Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups. 
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.


Thanks to Dianne for this literary masterpiece:
(don't think of it as blasphemy, but as literary art)

CARSTIANITY (Read it aloud!)

"Haul a Yugo. Haul a Yugo."

Gearly beloved, we are Blazered here in the name of our Four-door,
who art in Half-ton.
I'm speaking of our lord and Mazda, Jeep-sus Chrysler.
He is the Alfa and the Romeo.
He was born in a Ranger, he was Tempo'd by the DeVille,
and he Daihatsu'd for your Sentras.

He said, "Dodge not, that ye not be Dodged.
Thou shalt not Corvette thy neighbor's Whitewall,
but turn the other Cherokee.
If ye have Fiat, ye can move Montecarlos.
He ain't Chevy, he's my Beretta."

He ate the Last Supra, and he climbed the mount of Cavalier,
where they Cruise-controlled him on the Motocross.

But God, in his Infiniti Mercedes, did Rolls away the Stanza.

Let us Prelude:
Sayeth the prophet Isuzu, in the Dusenburg Bible,

In the 23rd Saab, "The Ford is my Chauffeur. I shall not Walk.
He Lexus me in the paths of Right-turn-signals.
Yea, though I walk through the Valet of the Shadow of Dart,
I shall Fiero no Eagle.
Subaru Goodwrench and Mercury shall Volvo me Audi Daytonas
of my life, and I shall Dwellmeter house of Delorean,
Four-cylinder."
Gloria, In Ex-Celica Geo!
GM
____________________________________________________



Today, June 18 in
1155 Frederick I Barbarossa was crowned emperor of Rome. 

1429 French forces defeated the English at the battle of Patay. The
English had been retreating after the siege of Orleans. 

1621 The first duel in America took place in the Plymouth Colony in
Massachusetts. 

1667 The Dutch fleet sailed up the Thames toward London. 

1778 Britain evacuated Philadelphia during the U.S. Revolutionary
War. 

1812 The War of 1812 began as the U.S. declared war against Great
Britain. The conflict began over trade restrictions. 

1815 At the Battle of Waterloo Napoleon was defeated by an
international army under the Duke of Wellington. Napoleon abdicated
on June 22. 

1817 London's Waterloo Bridge opened. The bridge, designed by John
Rennie, was built over the River Thames. 

1863 J.J. Richardson received a patent for the ratchet wrench. 

1873 Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting to vote for a
U.S. President. 

1898 Atlantic City, NJ, opened its Steel Pier. 

1915 During World War I, the second battle of Artois ended. 

1918 Allied forces on the Western Front began their largest
counter-attack against the German army. (World War I) 

1925 The first degree in landscape architecture was granted by
Harvard University. 

1927 The U.S. Post Office offered a special 10-cent postage stamp
for sale. The stamp was of Charles Lindbergh’s "Spirit of St.
Louis." 

1928 Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across the
Atlantic Ocean as she completed a flight from Newfoundland to
Wales. 

1936 The first bicycle traffic court was established in Racine, WI.


1942 The U.S. Navy commissioned its first black officer, Harvard
University medical student Bernard Whitfield Robinson. 

1948 The United Nations Commission on Human Rights adopted its
International Declaration of Human Rights. 

1951 General Vo Nguyen Giap ended his Red River Campaign against
the French in Indochina. 

1953 Egypt was proclaimed to be a republic with General Neguib as
its first president. 

1959 A Federal Court annulled the Arkansas law allowing school
closings to prevent integration. 

1959 The first telecast received from England was broadcast in the
U.S. over NBC-TV. 

1961 "Gunsmoke" was broadcast for the last time on CBS radio. 

1966 Samuel Nabrit became the first African American to serve on
the Atomic Energy Commission. 

1979 In Vienna, U.S. President Jimmy Carter and Leonid Brezhnev
signed the Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty (SALT) 2. 

1982 The U.S. Senate approved the renewal of the 1965 Voting Rights
Act for an additional twenty-five years. 

1983 Dr. Sally Ride became the first American woman in space aboard
the space shuttle Challenger. 

1998 The Walt Disney Co. purchased a 43% stake in the Web search
engine company Infoseek Corp. 

2000 In Algiers, Algeria, the foreign ministers of Ethiopia and
Eritrea signed a preliminary cease-fire accord and agreed to work
toward a permanent settlement of their two-year border war. 

2009 NASA launched the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter/LCROSS probes
to the Moon. It was the first American lunar mission since Lunar
Prospector in 1998. 

2009 Greenland assumed control over its law enforcement, judicial
affairs, and natural resources from the Kingdom of Denmark.
Greenlandic became the official language. 

2018  smiled.




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