Windows 8 mouse 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, October 23

Yes, I know, Ezinefinder is down again.
I have written to them. That is all I can do.
They are Mac Users and do not respond to problem reports,
because they consider those to be attacks on their cult.

Like Harley riders or Muslims, they do plenty of bitching
about their system amongst themselves, but if an outsider
mentions something, that is not complimentary, they get 
into a big snit in a hurry. 

If you write to them, be extra polite and as brief as possible.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1790 Slaves revolt in Haiti (later suppressed) 
1805 Sailing ship "Aeneus" sinks off Newfoundland killing 340 
1915 25,000 women march in NYC, demanding right to vote 
1942 During WW II, Britain launches major offensive 
   at El Alamein, Egypt
1944 Soviet army invades Hungary 
1954 Canada, England, France & USSR agree to end occupation 
  of Germany 
1956 1st video recording on magnetic tape televised coast-to-coast
1956 Hungarian Revolution began 
1958 USSR lends money to UAR to build Aswan High Dam 
1970 Gary Gabelich sets auto speed record 622.4 mph (1,002 kph) 
1983 Suicide terrorist truck bomb kills 243 US personnel in Beirut 
1990 Iraq announces release of 330 French hostages
1991 Dr Jack Kevorkian's suicide machine kills 2 women 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having. --- Ambrose Bierce I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education. --- Wilson Mizner The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid. --- Art Spander
>From Richi Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading a "tale of two cities" and she gave birth to twins" "That's funny", the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'The three musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets" The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!" When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading "Ali baba and the Forty Thieves"!
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?" "My father said it'd be a good idea, sir." "Oh? And what does your father do?" "He's in the Army, sir."
Back by popular demand!
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Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Delicious Revolution Cookbook - Healthy Food For Busy People. 151 Page Cookbook With Over 100 Easy To Make Healthy Meals. Every Recipe Has A Gorgeous Full Color Photograph. This Is A Revolutionary Solution For How To Make & Prepare Deliciously Healthy Meals For Increased Energy And Weight Loss. Sure To Please! Get the Revolution Cookbook now!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Sheila Eubank, 48, in San Antonio, Texas Woman Admits To Making Up Kidnapping Story To Get A Day Off Work Reported by The Weekly Vice Sheila Eubank, a 48-year-old San Antonio woman was jailed Wednesday after she pretended to have been kidnapped to get a day off from work and a little attention. According to San Antonio police, on October 10th, an officer reportedly found Eubanks laying motionless in her vehicle, bound with a rope. Eubanks allegedly told the officer that she had been kidnapped by an anonymous knife-wielding man, who jumped into her car and forced her to drive to an ATM machine to withdraw her money. The man then forced her to drive him around for 12 hours while he conducted alleged drug deals. Investigators say detectives found inconsistencies with Eubank's story, especially when they found a lottery ticket in her purse that had been purchased at around the same time she was being held by a kidnapper, according to her story. Detectives checked surveillance video from the store that sold the lottery ticket and saw Eubanks purchasing a lottery ticket by herself. She was seen in the video being polite and calm. She did not appear to be distressed or anxious, according to police. Confronted with the evidence police had, Eubanks admitted to making up the entire kidnapping story. She stated that she made up the story in order to get a day off work and a little attention. Eubank was booked into the Bexar County Jail and charged with aggravated perjury. Her bond was set at $10,000.
Tech Support Pits From: Alex Re: Windows8 Mouse Dear Webby, I read that there is a new Windows 7-8 mouse, that has a touch pad built into it's top. Is it worth it's rather steep cost? Alex Dear Alex That W8 mouse just adds even more frustration, and you would probably heave it into the trash in the first hour. Just like the touch pad below the keyboard, it is a half-baked idea, nice in theory, but rather useless for fast work. You are much better off with a standard 5 or 7 button Laser or LED mouse. As long as you got Left and Right click, Copy, Paste, Enter, you canget work done. For spreadsheets #6 and #7 (left and right scroll) are handy, but you can live quite happily without those two. I would recommend saving your money and not get any W8 gadgets just yet. Let them work out the bugs in W8 first. They are still fixing serious bugs in W7. No point in rushing into an unfinished W8. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Coke Tab to Hang a Picture If you get a photo frame and there is no hook on the back, using a screw attach the Coke tab to the back of your frame. Then hang your picture! By coville123 from Brockville, Ontario ---------- If the back is just cardboard or very thin sawdust board, glue the pull tab on with Goop or any all- purpose household glue. Measure and mark where you want the RING to be, not the tab, and then outline the ring and tab with a felt marker, before applying the glue. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. "Make three wishes," she told her mother, "and I'll grant them." Her mom first asked for world peace. Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled. Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children. Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged. The mother, with a glance down at her rather ample curves, made her third wish, "I wish to have a trim figure again." The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly. Finally, totally exhausted she stopped and sighed: "I'll need more power for this!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Cookie: Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot.
» Pop Culture Quiz


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Jumbled typing 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, October 22

>From Dr Bill
regarding cleaning the tub - or any ceramic bathroom fixture - 
fill with water, drop in several alka-seltzer tablets - 
let sit overnight - (just one for the toilet) - learned this 
from summer camp maintenance man when our camp was 
the third in line - by August the facilities really needed it - 
so during the week ahead of the arrival of the kids, I was 
up there getting the swimming area and canoes ready when I 
caught the guy cleaning the facilities - works like a charm -
Bill


WASHINGTON (UPI) -- The U.S. government has offered a $50,000 
reward to whoever comes up with an effective means of blocking 
telephone "robocall" sales pitches. 

The Federal Trade Commission has been losing ground in the battle 
against automated phone calls and is looking for fresh ideas with its 
FTC Robocall Challenge. 

The winner will receive $50,000 plus a trip to Washington. 
The Robocall Challenge is open to U.S. citizens. Groups of as many 
as 10 will be eligible for the reward and the trip to the capital. 

Bunch of doughheads!
Nothing easier. As I have mentioned a number of times before,
listenjust long enough to note their1-800 number, if it is not
forged into the Call Display.

Take a few extra large pictures of you or a friend writing
a message about robo-calls into snow, with a yellow medium.
Then WinFax them to that 1-800 number, on auto-repeat.

Since all robo-calls, except those by the fire department, 
the gas company and the electrical company to notify you of 
planned outages, and emergency services, are illegal, the
dumb crooks can't complain to anybody.

Just don't use that trick on the fire department! They might 
hose you down at 4am!

Feel free to use that trick to compete for the $50,000.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1797 AndreJacques Garnerin makes 1st parachute jump from 
  balloon (Paris) 
1906 3000 blacks demonstrate & riot in Philadelphia
1936 1st commercial flight from mainland to Hawaii
1938 1st Xerox copy made 
1949 200 killed in train derailment near Nowy Dwor Poland 
1953 Laos gains full independence from France 
1954 West Germany joins North Atlantic Treaty Organization
1962 JFK imposes naval blockade on Cuba, beginning missile crisis 
1975 Soviet spacecraft Venera 9 soft-lands on Venus
1981 US national debt tops $1 trillion 
1991 General Motors announces 9 month loss of $2.2 billion 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be. --- Kurt Vonnegut People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future. --- Socratex I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. --- Will Rogers "No matter how much money you make, you always need an extra $40 a week. I'm sure it was Einstein who first stated: Exp- ense equals salary plus forty bucks." --- Jeffrey Jena
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a "massive internal fart."
At a naval barracks the enlisted men were being given their shots prior to going overseas. One lad, having received his whole series of injections, asked for a glass of water. "What's the matter, Mate?" asked the sick bay attendant. "Do you feel light-headed?" "No, just checking to see if I'm still watertight."
Back by popular demand!
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. Huge discount if you act now!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Delicious Revolution Cookbook - Healthy Food For Busy People. 151 Page Cookbook With Over 100 Easy To Make Healthy Meals. Every Recipe Has A Gorgeous Full Color Photograph. This Is A Revolutionary Solution For How To Make & Prepare Deliciously Healthy Meals For Increased Energy And Weight Loss. Sure To Please! Get the Revolution Cookbook now!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Katie Hightower, 26, Pawnee County, OK Charged With Having Sex With Student After Football Scrimmage Reported by The Weekly Vice Katie Hightower, a 26-year-old teacher at Prue High School was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly had sex with a student. According to the Pawnee County Sheriff's Office, an investigation was launched after Hightower allegedly purchased beer for a group of students - then disappeared into a bedroom to have sexual intercourse with one of the students. Investigators say the incident began on August 16 when Hightower accompanied a group of high school students to and from a football scrimmage - sitting next to a 16-year-old male student during the trip. After the scrimmage, Hightower and three students went to Keystone Lake for about an hour. During the lake visit, two of the students saw Hightower lay her head in the student's lap and refer to him as "babe." Hightower then allegedly purchased beer for the students and then invited them to her home in Terlton. The students told deputies that they drank the beer at Hightower's house, but decided to leave when Hightower and the boy disappeared into a bedroom. The students then left when it became obvious that Hightower and the boy were having sexual intercourse. Although Hightower allegedly coached the two students not to talk about the incident, the students reported what they heard and saw to school officials. Investigators searched Hightower's phone and discovered hundreds of text messages that she exchanged with the student during a four week period. Hightower denied knowing that the student was at the lake or her house. The student denied being at Hightower's house. Both Hightower and the student denied having sexual intercourse. Hightower was booked into jail and charged with second-degree rape and furnishing alcohol to a person under 21.
Tech Support Pits From: Jerry Re: Jumbled typing Dear Webby, I just got a Toshiba Laptop with Windows 7 and cannot do word processing without text being jumbled like crazy. It is frustrating. Help! Jerry Dear Jerry Since you are probably using a mouse anyway, cover that silly touch-pad with a piece of thin cardboard. That way your thumbs won't accidentally touch it and move stuff around. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Your Own Peanut Butter: It's easy to save money on peanut butter. Buy bulk, unsalted peanuts and grind in a blender. Add salt as needed. We get our peanuts for $1.25 lb. I like $2.50 for a big jar of peanut butter, rather than $7 a jar, don't you? By Davidicdancer from Spokane, WA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Master Carlos? This is Arnaldo, your country house caretaker." "Ah yes, Mr. Arnaldo. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?" "Um, I am just calling to advise you, sir, that your parrot died." "My parrot? Dead? The one that won the competition?" "That's the one." "Darn! That's such a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. Oh well...what did he die from?" "From eating rotten meat." "Rotten meat? Who was so mean as to give him meat?" "Nobody. He ate the meat of one of the dead horses." "Dead horse? What dead horse, Mr. Arnaldo?" "Why those pure breed ones that you had, sir. They died from all that work pulling the water cart." "Are you insane? What water cart?" "The one we used to put out the fire." "Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?" "The one at your house! A candle fell and then the curtain caught on fire." "What the.....!!! But there's electricity at the house!!!! What was the candle for???" "For the funeral." "WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL???!!!!!" "Your mother-in-law's! She showed up one night, out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your Tiger Woods Nike Driver." SILENCE.................... "Arnaldo, if you broke that driver, you are fired!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Village Dry Cleaners has relocated to High Street, right next door to St. Joseph's Church. After November 1, Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness.'
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Can't open the attachment 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, October 21

Winter Wonder Land!
Big snowflakes and just enough fog, so that everything has
an orange glow from the streetlights. Just like Christmas,
but thankfully without the ads on the radio.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
2137 -BC- 1st recorded total eclipse of the sun China
1520 Magellan entered the strait which bears his name
1553 Volumes of the Talmud are burned 
1805 Battle of Trafalgar, Adm Nelson defeats French & Spanish fleet & dies 
1915 1st transatlantic radiotelephone message, Arlington, Va to Paris 
1918 Margaret Owen sets world typing speed record of 170 wpm for 1 min 
1945 Women in France allowed to vote for 1st time
1950 Chinese forces occupy Tibet 
1967 Thousands opposing Vietnam War try to storm the Pentagon 
1988 Ferdinand & Imelda Marcos indicted on racketeering charges 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody. --- Benjamin Franklin By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. --- Socrates
A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me."
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he indignantly answered. "How could you think I would forget?" Whereupon he left for the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolate and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful 'Hedge Hog Day' in all my life!"
Back by popular demand!
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. Huge discount if you act now!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Delicious Revolution Cookbook - Healthy Food For Busy People. 151 Page Cookbook With Over 100 Easy To Make Healthy Meals. Every Recipe Has A Gorgeous Full Color Photograph. This Is A Revolutionary Solution For How To Make & Prepare Deliciously Healthy Meals For Increased Energy And Weight Loss. Sure To Please! Get the Revolution Cookbook now!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Dawn Peel, 50, in St. Paul, MN Kissed Her Boyfriend On The Forehead, Then Tried To Saw His Head Off St. Paul, MN (The Weekly Vice) - Dawn Peel, a Reported by The Weekly Vice Dawn Peel, a 50-year-old Minnesota bonehead was jailed Monday after she allegedly gave her boyfriend a kiss, asked him if he loved her, then attempted to saw through his neck with a knife. According to police, officers were dispatched at 1:45 a.m. after the victim called 911 to report that he had been attacked by his girlfriend. The man had fled from his residence after his girlfriend used a knife to "cut at his neck like she was slaughtering a goat or a cow," according to the arrest report. The man told investigators that he was asleep on the couch when he awoke to find Peel kneeling over him. She then allegedly asked him if he loved her. When he answered "yes" she then kissed him on the forehead and said "this is the last time you'll see my eyes." That's when Peel allegedly put a knife to the victim's neck and began sawing back and forth in a vigorous manner. Investigators say the man was able to escape the slaughter, however he was bleeding heavily from the neck when police arrived on the scene. The man was taken to a local hospital where he received 23 staples in his neck to stop the bleeding. When officers arrived at the his house to question Peel, she answered the door completely naked. When officers asked how much alcohol she had been drinking, Peel answered "not enough." She was booked into the Ramsey County Jail and charged with attempted murder. Her bail has been set at $75,000.
Tech Support Pits From: Lee Re: Mail attachments won't open Dear Webby! Sometime I try to open a piece of mail. A window comes down saying to large for word pad to open. And asks if I want note pad to open it,if i say yes it opens in computer language. which I cant read. What can I do about this. I am 73 yrs old and am a novice at the computer Thank you Lee Dear Lee If you get weird stuff like that, trash it. Trash it without even trying to open it. It's just not worth the hassle. If it does not open normally, it is probably some virus or worm and could really make life difficult. So, when in doubt, trash it. There is plenty of normal mail that opens without hassle. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Clean Bathtub with Powdered Dish Detergent: When your bathtub really gets grimy looking and the bathroom cleaners don't seem to be working, try a scrubby sponge and a bit of powder dish washer soap. It doesn't scratch, but it will get things super clean. By Lynn from WV Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it. Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings." "I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist. "Try Alka-Seltzer!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and road-worthy again. But had run out of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via the operator, and reverses the charge and says to his father, "Dad, I hate to ask, but I need to borrow 200 dollars." At the other end, his father says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, son, I think there may be a bad line." The boy shouts, "Two hundred. I need two hundred dollars!" "Sorry, I still can't hear you clearly," says his father. The operator cuts in, "Sorry to butt in, But I can hear him perfectly clearly." The father says, "Good. YOU send him the money!"
» Stary Critters


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When you can't delete files 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, October 20



Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1600 Battle of Sekigahara sets Tokugawa clan as Japan's 
  rulers (shoguns) 
1803 US Senate ratifies the Louisiana Purchase
1813 German Kingdom of Westphalia abolished
1817 1st Mississippi showboat leaves Nashville on maiden voyage
1818 49th parallel established as the border between US & Canada
1818 US & Britain agree to joint control of Oregon country 
1905 Great General Strike in Russia begins; lasts 11 days
1906 Dr Lee DeForest demonstrates his radio tube
1930 British White Paper restricts Jews from buying Arab land 
1944 30 blocks of Cleveland OH burn after a liquid gas factory explodes
1956 58ø F (15ø C), Esperanza Station, Antarctica (Antarctic record high) 
1968 Jacqueline Kennedy marries Aristotle Onassis
1973 OPEC oil embargo begins 
1983 IBM-PC DOS Version 2.1 released 
1990 3 members of 2 Live Crew acquitted on obscenity charges in Florida 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. --- Bill Cosby Like its politicians and its wars, society has the teenagers it deserves. --- J. B. Priestley Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. --- Doug Larson
These days, with all the emphasis on one's physical fitness, a new organization has sprung up called "Athletics Anonymous." When you get the urge to play golf, tennis, go power-walking or bicycle riding (or anything else involving a type of physical activity), they send someone over to watch TV with you until the urge passes.
How to Place New Employees in a Proper Department Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end of that time, go back and see what they are doing. If they have taken the table apart, put them in Engineering. If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance. If they are waving their arms and talking out loud, send them to Consulting. If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them. If they are wearing green sunglasses and need a haircut, Computer Information Systems is their niche. If the room has a sweaty odor, perhaps they're destined for the Help Desk. If they mention what a good price we got for the table and chairs, put them into Purchasing. If they mention that hardwood furniture DOES NOT come from rainforests, Public Relations would suit them well. If they are writing up the experience, send them to the Technical Documents team. If they don't even look up when you enter the room, assign them to Security. If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks, send them to Marketing. If they are sleeping, they are Management material.
Back by popular demand!
Need to lose some weight before the reuinion, or to avoid having to buy bigger clothes? Fat Loss Factor will do the trick easily and quickly, without silly diets or a lot of exercise. Huge discount if you act now!

Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

Delicious Revolution Cookbook - Healthy Food For Busy People. 151 Page Cookbook With Over 100 Easy To Make Healthy Meals. Every Recipe Has A Gorgeous Full Color Photograph. This Is A Revolutionary Solution For How To Make & Prepare Deliciously Healthy Meals For Increased Energy And Weight Loss. Sure To Please! Get the Revolution Cookbook now!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Kendall Remsing, 35, in New Llano, La. Charged With Incest After He Was Shot In Face By 15-Year-Old Stepdaughter Reported by The Weekly Vice Kendall Remsing, a 35-year-old Louisiana bonehead was jailed Wednesday on incest charges after he was shot in the face by his 15-year-old-step daughter. According to the Vernon Parish Sheriff's Office, an investigation was launched in late May after police received a 911 call stating that a 15-year-old girl had shot her stepfather in the face. Deputies who arrived on the scene took the girl into custody and charged her with attempted second-degree murder. Remsing was transported to Byrd Regional Hospital where he was stabilized and then flown to Rapides Regional Medical Center where he remains in stable, but critical condition. (Mug shot is from a previous arrest) During the investigation, however, Remsing was now been accused of molesting a juvenile family member. Additional evidence was gathered that corroborated the allegation, according to detectives. Remsing has been charged with aggravated incest and molestation of a juvenile. His bond has been set at $100,000.
Tech Support Pits From: Fred Re: Can't get rid of RealPlayer files AS Always---HELP!!! I downloaded some not bad, but stupid stuff to my Real PLayer--- Now I want to get rid of it. But when I send it to the trash I get this--- Cannot delete---Make sure Disk is not full or write protected or not in use???? I have completely removed Real Player from My PC, but the files are still on my desk top---I am attaching one--- Thanks. Fred Dear Fred Are you referring to Real Player program files, or to music and movies ? To get rid of realPlayer, you have to do it through the Program Manager or with the Secure Uninstaller, which gets rid of stuff that the Program Manager can't. In case you still have not got the Secure Uninstaller, it is still at http://webby.com/uninst Nowadays you pretty well need that, because so much stuff is too sneaky for the Program Manager. However, if you mean just music and movies, log on as Administrator and then dump them. If you were too lazy to save the files into a folder made for that purpose, and just littered them onto the desktop, then quite possibly they are "OWNED" by the Administrator, and can't be deleted by a mere User. If you have trouble logging on as administrator, save all openfiles, close all open programs, Hit SMD (Save My Desktop) and then rudely pull the plug. After plugging in again, Windows will ask you, if you want to start up in Safe Mode. In Safe Mode you are automatically the Administrator. As Administrator you can delete anything you want. Keep in mind that Safe Mode quite likely messes up your icon arrangement. That is why it is important to hit SMD before you do that. In some cases, uninstalling a program like RealPlayer with the Program Manager or Secure Uninstaller does not unlock the data files until you reboot. Real reboot, not just restart. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use an Empty Can as a Utensil Holder When Cooking: Here is what I use to prevent spilled mess on my counter when I am cooking. I usually use more than one utensil when I am cooking but never know where to place them during the cooking time as I am still using them. Well, since I usually use some type of canned goods with all my meals, I came up with the following idea. I rinse the can that I used, then I use it as a utensil holder while I am cooking. Once I am done cooking, I place the utensils in the sink, rinse the can again and recycle it. So it's kinda like recycling it twice. The bonus is that it saves a mess to clean off my counter or a plate. By tomnsaby from Albuquerque, NM Cans are too light and get knocked over too easily, plus they don't have space for ladles and flippers. I use a heavy Pyrex 1 liter measuring cup half full of water. Even with an assortment of wooden spoons and ladles it never gets knocked over. The water adds weight and keeps food from hardening on the utensils. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
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5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

The fourth-grade class was studying the development of the auto industry. The teacher had emphasized the role played by Henry Ford, whose assembly lines decreased production costs. At the end of the unit, she gave a test including the question: "What did Henry Ford invent that made buying a car more affordable?" One of the brightest students in the class wrote: "0% financing."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
On a recent radio station appearance, "Uncle" Larry Reeb was asked, "Are you a college man?" He replied, "Nope. I stayed HOME and got drunk at home. I couldn't afford that $20,000 cover charge."
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Login Profile Error 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, October 19
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



During the evening, in the middle of work, suddenly the lights
went out. No warning blink, no brown blink, just click, gone.
All the street lights, as far as I could see, were out too.

The only lights still working were the solar lights on a bower
at my northern neighbor, and the solar Christmas lights from 
last year still on a tree in my southern neighbor's yard.

Fine, I figured, I'll sneak off for a nap! 
So as not to get too carried away, I flicked the switch for 
the big ceiling light in the bedroom.

I don't have time to sleep a lot, so when I do go horizontal,
I am sound asleep usually just about the time I pull a cover
over my shoulder. 

Fifteen minutes later I got woken up by the light and various
clicking and popping sounds as the power came back on, but
kept tripping the auto-reset town breakers. That is really 
hard on hard drives, but after four clicks the breakers held
and the power stayed on. So much for my nap.
Well, lots of work to do so I went bat to it.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
125 -BC- Start of Era of Tyre 
1812 Napoleon begins his retreat from Moscow
1872 World's largest gold nugget (215 kg) found in New South Wales
1912 Tripoli (Libya) passes from Turkish to Italian control 
1933 Berlin Olympic Committee vote to introduce basketball in 1936 
1944 US forces land in Philipines
1950 UN forces entered Pyongyang, the capital of North Korea
1951 Pres Truman formally ends state of war with Germany
1960 The US imposes an embargo on exports to Cuba 
1967 Mariner 5 makes fly-by of Venus
1977 Supersonic Concorde jet's 1st landing in NYC
1987 US warships destroy 2 Iranian oil platforms in Persian Gulf 
1988 Senate passes bill curbing ads during children`s TV shows 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it." --- Franklin P. Jones
>From Simon When we moved cross-country, my wife and I decided to drive both of our cars. Nathan, our eight-year-old, worriedly asked, "How will we keep from getting separated?" "We'll drive slowly so that one car can follow the other," I reassured him. "Yeah, but what if we DO get separated?" he persisted. "Well, then I guess we'll never see each other again," I quipped. "Okay," he said. "I'm riding with Mom."
>From Kim: In my job with a credit union, I often run across accounts that are protected by password. The credit-union member, when withdrawing funds, must produce identification and then give the password to the teller. Recently, when I asked a woman for her password, she sighed, rolled her eyes and replied, "SaveDagnabit." I was puzzled until she explained, "My husband used that password so I that I have to say it every time I make a withdrawal."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Jennifer Wilcox, 36, Middletown, CT Charged With DUI After Drinking lots of Hand Sanitizer Reported by The Weekly Vice Jennifer Wilcox, a 36-year-old Connecticut woman was jailed for drunk driving Monday after she allegedly drank half a bottle of hand sanitizer. According to police, an officer had just pulled over another vehicle for a traffic infraction when a vehicle that was driven by Wilcox drove past the officer at a high rate of speed and ultimately lost control of her vehicle. The officer approached Wilcox and detected a strong odor of alcohol coming from her person. After failing a field sobriety test, Wilcox reportedly admitted to consuming half of a large bottle of hand sanitizer prior to getting behind the wheel. A typical bottle of hand sanitizer contains about 60% ethyl alcohol (or 120 proof). Drinking half of a large bottle of hand sanitizer would be equivalent to drinking 16 shots of vodka, according to experts. Poison control centers across the country are reporting a spike in the number of cases that involve teens who drink sanitizer as a means to achieve a stolen buzz. Mouthwash was abused in a similar manner until companies that manufactured the product lowered the alcohol content to discourage the practice. A blood alcohol test later revealed that Wilcox was intoxicated at more than twice the legal limit for operating a motor vehicle. Wilcox was booked into jail and charged with DUI. She was released after posting a $500 bond.
Tech Support Pits :From: Lynne Re: Logon Profile Error I cannot access my laptop computer under myself. Only thru the guest port. The error message is "The user profile service service has failed the login. User profile cannot be loaded. What I did just before this happened this morning was to go onto my desktop to remove some old icons. Each time the message came up saying that removal of this icon will not remove it from the computer. Can you direct me to a source that can help me? I am typing this from the "guest" port. Not sure you will get this. I am away from home for 6 more weeks, so I don't have my desktop to help. Lynne Dear Lynne I found this info at Microsoft: http://support.microsoft.com/kb/947215 I hope that helps! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Laundry Detergent Caps For Bathroom Organizing The house I live in does laundry a lot. And, they didn't recycle till I showed them the error of their ways. So, instead of tossing these in the bin, I put them to good use. Here is an example of the things you can do with these wonderful lids! Can you think of about a bazillion more? By Poor But Proud from Sweet Home, OR Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but what I like best is that the customer is always wrong."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Newly wed Angus McKenzie comes in to the room and says to his wife, "I'm going to the pub. Get your coat on." The wife, overjoyed that he has included her in his activity, replies, "Does that mean that you are taking me with you, darling?" Angus replies, "No. I'm turning the off the heat." -------------- I would not be surprised if she comes over here to borrow a bible or warm up a bit.
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Humor: Diskette Error 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, October 18

>From Dr Bill
Re the Ass in the Well - similar tale I used when teaching 
History at Syracuse U. An apocryphal story:  
"Thales, the father of philosophy, postulating all matter 
as consisting of Earth, Air, Fire, and Water,  was getting 
along in years and his vision had gone bad.  One foggy 
night on Miletus, his donkey escaped.  

Grumbling, Thales threw on his grey philosopher's coat 
and went out into the mist calling for his donkey.  
A grey shape loomed before him and he dove at it - 
plunging himself accidentally into his well.  

Cold and Wet, he shouted until his Thracian maid found him 
and got him out - he returned shivering to his home,
blaspheming the Gods - 

This is a noteworthy event in History, in that it is the first 
recorded instance, though by no means the last, 
when a Philosopher didn't know 
his Ass from a hole in the ground."

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1016 Danes defeat Saxons at Battle of Assandun (Ashingdon)
1648 1st US labor organization forms (Boston Shoemakers)
1685 Louis XIV revokes Edict of Nantes, outlaws Protestantism 
1767 Boundary between Md & Pa, the Mason Dixon line, agreed upon 
1867 US takes formal possession of Alaska from Russia ($7.2 million) 
1890 John Owen is 1st to run 100 yd dash in under 10 seconds
1898 American flag raised in Puerto Rico
1908 Belgium annexes Congo Free State 
1944 Soviet troops invade Czechoslovakia during WW II
1962 US launches Ranger 5 for lunar impact; misses Moon
1967 Soviet Venera 4 1st probe to send data back from Venus
1968 Police find 219 grams of cannabis resin in John & Yoko's apt
1979 "Beatlemania" opens in London
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Language is the source of misunderstandings. --- Antoine de Saint-Exupery Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong. --- Dandemis A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B. --- Fats Domino
To help a friend lose weight, I told her that she should switch to lower-fat foods, including skim milk. When she said her family would drink only whole milk, I suggested that she keep their regular container and refill it with skim milk. This worked for quite a while, until her daughter asked one morning whether the milk was okay. "Sure, it's fine," my friend answered, fearing she had been found out. "Why do you ask?" The daughter explained, "Well, according to the expiration date, this milk expired two years ago!"
At a posh dinner party, a Latin American visitor was telling the guests about his home country and himself. As he concluded, he said, "And I have a charming and understanding wife but, alas, no children." As his listeners appeared to be waiting for him to continue, he said, haltingly, "You see, my wife is unbearable." Puzzled glances prompted him to try to clarify the matter: "What I mean is, my wife is inconceivable." As his companions seemed amused, he floundered deeper into the intricacies of the English language, explaining triumphantly, "That is, my wife, she is impregnable!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Brenda Crosdale, 49, Vero Beach, Florida Woman Locked Out Of Car Called 911, Claimed Infant Was Trapped Inside To Get Quicker Response Reported by The Smoking Gun Locked out of her car earlier this month, Brenda Crosdale, 49, called 911 and claimed that an infant was trapped in the vehicle. But when a sheriff’s deputy responded to a “priority one lockout” at Crosdale’s Florida home at around 9 AM on October 6, he “saw no child” inside vehicles parked in the driveway. When Deputy Michael Cavanaugh asked a male on scene about the whereabouts of the infant, the man replied, “Brenda only said that to get you guys here quicker. The deputy then questioned Crosdale inside her Vero Beach home, and “she stated she only said a child was inside her vehicle to get the vehicle open quicker,” according to an Indian River County Sheriff's Office report. Crosdale, a nurse, was then arrested for misuse of the 911 system. Pictured in the above mug shot, Crosdale was briefly booked into jail, where she was released after posting $500 bond on the misdemeanor count. The report did not say whether the deputy busted open the childless car, or made her call a locksmith.
Tech Support Pits :From: Diana Re: Diskette error Dear Webby All of a sudden when I turn on my computer in the morning, a message pops up saying diskette drive failure When I press F1 it starts up ok. I do not have a floppy disk. What is the message and how do I correct it? I know if anybody can answer me, you can. Thanks loads for your newsletter, Diana Dear Diana Sounds like your machine got infected with a really ancient virus. Run a GOOD virus scan, like McAfee, and after that reboot and look VERY carefully for a very brief message during boot-up, before you get color. It will tell you something like F12 for Bios Whatever it is, hit that immediately, before you get color. You may have to shut down and try again. Once you are in the BIOS, you can disable the Floppy drive, and set the boot-up priorities to D: (CD) USB C:\ That way, you can boot up, if necessary, with the Set-Up CD or a rescue set-up on a thumb drive. You can even have a Penguin (Linux fanatic) put "Baby Linux" onto a camera chip and boot up into Linux to salvage data, if Windows gets totally trashed by some virus. It will look for those first, and if those are not there, then it will go for the C: drive. If you try to save 2 seconds of boot-up time and put C: first, the rescue drives are not in the queue. If you have trouble reading that grey on black message, get some kid to watch it. A lot of adults have trouble reading it. Once you got it and know which key to hit to get into the bios, you can put a dot of nail polish onto that F key. A lot of machines even have a setting in the Bios, where you can tell it how long to display that message. Smart-ass kids often shorten that time to 1 or zero, and brag about having tuned the machine to start up 3 seconds faster. If you have a crimson dot on F12 or whatever it is for your machine, that is no problem. In summary: Take A: and B: out of the start-up drive list, and if USB is in the list, make sure something is plugged into the USB port. A camera chip reader works fine. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Your Leaves As Winter Mulch Have you mulched your leaves yet? After spending years raking up those fall leaves, I got pretty tired of having a second set of leaves fall from the Oak trees. I decided to make short work of the job by using my mulch mower and ran the mower over the leaves, which mulched them all and enriched my lawn happily at the same time. The lawn may not be as neat and tidy, but it sure will be happy having all that extra fertilizer on it, and it will be even happier next spring, and so too will you! Go mulch those leaves! Source: Gardeners around the globe By Kghornsten from Davis, CA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

>From Ed Our church was planning a chili supper for the homeless, and my wife, Florence, agreed to prepare four gallons of her rather mild variation. The man in charge of organizing the program asked Florence how she would describe her chili -- three alarm or four alarm. After hearing some of the ingredients that went into other chili donations, my wife replied, "I guess you'd call mine false alarm."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A little girl was wearing one of those Medical Alert bracelets. Someone asked her what the bracelet was for. She replied, "I'm allergic to nuts and eggs." The person asked, "Are you allergic to cats?" The girl said, "I don't know. I don't eat cats."
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How can I fix Error 646 (bug in the bug fix) 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, October 17

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1492 Columbus sights isle of San Salvador (Watling Island, Bahamas) 
1829 Delaware River & Chesapeake Bay Canal formally opened
1855 Bessemer steelmaking process patented
1918 Yugoslavia proclaims itself a republic 
1931 Al Capone convicted of tax evasion, sentenced to 11 years in prison
1933 Albert Einstein arrives in the US, a refugee from Nazi Germany
1956 England's 1st large scale nuclear power station opens 
1961 NY Museum of Modern Art hung Henri Matisse's "Le Bateau" 
upside-down, It wasn't corrected until December 3rd 
1973 5-mo oil embargo by Arab states against US & Netherlands begins 
1977 Canada begins regular live TV coverage of Parliament 
1977 West German commandos storm hijacked Lufthansa in Mogadishu, 
Somalia freeing all 86 hostages & killing 3 of the 4 hijackers 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. --- Abba Eban "If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability." --- Henry Ford
Morris realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but he felt unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they cost ?" he asked the salesperson. "That depends," he said. "They run from $2.00 to $2,000." "Let's see the $2.00 model," said Morris the miser. The salesperson put the device around Morris' neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he instructed. "How does it work?" , asked Morris. "For $2.00 it doesn't work," the salesperson replied. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!"
Two salesmen were going door to door. They knocked on the door of a woman who clearly was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms she did not want to hear their message and then slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, the door did not close. In fact, it bounced back open. Seeing the two salesmen at the door frustrated her. She stormed back to the door and flung it shut. But the door still didn't close. Furious, she grabbed the door with two hands and shoved it as hard as she could. But again, the door wouldn't shut. Convinced one of these rude salesmen was sticking a foot in the door, she reared back to give the door a slam that would really teach them a lesson. Just then, one of the salesmen said, "Ma'am, before you do that again, you might want to move your cat."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Ashley Stewart, 24, Streetsboro, OH Charged With DUI After Speeding Down Wrong Side Of Highway Reported by The Weekly Vice Ashley Stewart, a 24-year-old Ohio woman was charged with drunk driving Saturday after she was caught speeding the wrong direction down a freeway at 3:17 in the morning. According to Streetsboro police, officers were dispatched after receiving a report that a vehicle was traveling eastbound on the westbound side of I-480. Investigators say officers activated lights and sirens after catching up to Stewart's vehicle as it continued down the wrong side of the highway. Stewart allegedly ignored officers' attempts to stop her as the chase reached speeds of up to 80 miles per hour. The chase was finally brought to an end on State Route 41 near Shady Lake Drive when an officer pulled in front of Stewart's vehicle and forced her to stop. Stewart then refused to submit to a breathalyzer test at the scene. She was booked into jail and charged with failure to comply with the signal of a police officer and operating a vehicle while intoxicated.
Tech Support Pits :From: Rndall Re: Windows bugfix error 646 Dear Webby, For the last week or so i have been getting a update warning to update my laptop.So I click on the update button and it goes out to the update screen but then i get code 646 warning. the update didn't take effect. some kind of security update. And the update warning is still showing. I looked into the help and support queries but that is no help...I know you have the answer i am looking for ...love your news and jokes..keep up the great work...have a good week. Radall Dear Randall Do you have an HP (or Compaq or eMachines) laptop? 646 is a bug in the bugfix. A fix for buggy bugfix is at http://support.microsoft.com/kb/2258121 Microsoft says that might possibly work. If it doesn't, they say you can try re-installing Microsoft Office and wait for the next update in November. They will get organized really soon, they hope. Personally, if you have McAfee running, then there is no need to panic. It will catch anybody trying to get in through the holes in Office. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Freezing Eggs: Until a good friend shared this tip with me, I did not know that fresh eggs can be whisked together and frozen for up to six months. I have been doing this for over a year now. I buy large eggs when they are on sale in the 18 pack cartons. I keep out about six for use in the fridge and then whisk together whites and yolks of the remaining 12 eggs until just combined. I then measure them into my ice ice-cube trays, using 3 Tbsp. of the mixture per segment (3 Tbsp. is equivalent to 1 large egg). Freeze until solid, then transfer cubes to a freezer bag for up to 6 months. Don't forget to date the freezer bag. When ready to use take out one or more and thaw in the refrigerator. By Bobbie G from Rockwall, TX Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

One day a farmer's donkey fell into a well. The animal cried pitifully for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided that the donkey was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; so it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the animal. He invited all his neighbors to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement, he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer looked down the well and was astonished; with every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off! Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up! Enough of that! The donkey later came back and kicked the last three meals out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. Moral: When you try to cover your ass, it always comes back to get you.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two Jewish men are on a train across Poland, each on his way to meet a prospective bride on the other side of the country. Halfway there, the first turns to the second and says, "Forget about this whole marriage thing. I just don't like the idea." So he gets off at the next stop and makes his way back home. Meanwhile, the second man continues on and is met at the final destination by the mothers of the two prospective brides. When the mothers realize what has happened, they instantly begin to fight over whose daughter should wed this precious man. "He's mine!" cries one. "Not on your life," cries the other, "He will marry my daughter!" After bickering for a while, the man and the two mothers decide to go the local rabbi and ask him to resolve the situation. In the grand tradition of the ancients, the rabbi replies, "Well, there is only one solution to this problem. Cut the boy in half, and you each take half home with you." At this, the first mother looks shocked, while the second mother grins and cries emphatically, "Yah! Cut him in half!!" The rabbi points to the second mother and says, "THAT is the real mother-in-law. Case closed."
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Internet Explorer stuck on 404 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, October 16

I was trying to find a name and mug shot of a Bus driver in
New Berlin, Wisconsin, but their local media plastered 
pictures and name and address of her victim all over, but
frantically protected the evil driver,
who is now sorry, that she lost her job.

I did find out the first name of the bus driver: Carol
She did not like the fact, tht a 12 year old kid was not
an Obama fan like her, and told him that his mother
should have chosen abortion for him.

To say that to a 12 year old kid is deep down evil, 
and the school bus company fired her. However,
to issue a Bonehead Award I need a picture and
full name.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1775 Portland, Maine burned by British
1781 Washington takes Yorktown 
1876 Race riot at Cainhoy SC (5 whites & 1 black killed) 
1923 Disney Co founded 
1925 Texas School Board prohibits teaching of evolution
1926 Troop ship sinks in Yangtze River, killing 1,200 
1941 Germany advances within 60 miles (96 K) of Moscow
1946 10 Nazi leaders hanged as war criminals after Nuremberg trials
1962 Cuban missile crisis began as JFK becomes aware of missiles in Cuba 
1964 Brezhnev & Kosygin replace Krushchev as head of Russia
1964 China becomes world's 5th nuclear power 
1978 Polish Cardinal Karol Wojtyla elected pope-John Paul II 
1985 Intel introduces 32-bit 80386 microcomputer chip 
1990 US forces reach 200,000 in the Persian Gulf 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. --- Errol Flynn Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise. --- Bertrand Russell There is scarcely anything in the world that some man cannot make a little worse, and sell a little more cheaply. The person who buys on price alone is this man's lawful prey. --- John Ruskin
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?" The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." "What that tell you?" asked Tonto. The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?" "You're dumber then buffalo pies. Someone stole tent."
Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was giving. In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day. She was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook up another batch. She called the local Poison Control Center and voiced her concern. They advised Becky to boil the sauce again. That night, the phone rang during dinner, and a guest volunteered to answer it. Becky's face dropped as the guest called out, "It's the Poison Control Center. They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Nicole Boover, 19, New Orleans, Louisiana Nathan Yuhas, 18, New Orleans, Louisiana She Wanted Her $500,000 Inheritance Now Attempts To Shoot Mother Dead Reported by The Weekly Vice Louisiana State University students Nicole Boover, 19, and Nathan Yuhas, 18, were jailed Monday after Boover allegedly agreed to pay Yuhas $50,000 to assist her in murdering her own mother. Boover, police say, was after a $500,000 inheritance which she planned to receive from her mother's death. According to New Orleans police, Boover planned to shoot her mother and then profit from her mother's death. She offered to give Yuhas a $50,000 cut of her inheritance if he would help with the murder plot. Boover and Yuhas purchased gloves, duct tape, and a "Scream" styled Halloween mask in preparation for the shooting. Investigators say Boover knocked on her mother's apartment door at around 4:30 a.m. and smiled innocently through the door's peep hole. When Boover's mother opened the door, she saw Boover pointing a gun at her. Mrs. Boover slammed the door shut as Boover fired three shots into the door. Boover fled the scene with Yuhas and drove back to the LSU campus. Boover's step-father called police and reported the incident. Officers found Boover's car on the LSU campus, with Yuhas sitting inside of it. Boover was found in her dorm room. Both suspects were apprehended. Boover was booked into the New Orleans Parish Prison and charged with attempted first-degree murder. She is currently being held in lieu of a $500,000 bond. She was unable to afford a lawyer, and was assigned a public defender. Yuhas was booked into the New Orleans Parish Prison and charged with being a principal to attempted first-degree murder. He was released after posting $100,000 bond.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits :From: Mary Lou Re: Internet Explorer stuck on 404 Dear Webby, I am having trouble gettig my "Internet Explorer" to perform it's duty. How can I get it back on track? When I try to open it, i tells me it canot display the web site/page. Did I ask you this once befor? Please excuse me if I am repeating a request, but you are so brilliant, I thought I'd ask in case I failed to conact your expertise. ML Dear Mary Lou Somehow your start / home page got changed to some weird address, that is no longer available. When it gives you that error message, type into the address bar: http://webby.com/humor After that it should be OK again. You might also have to edit the start / home page, and put an address in there, that will be guaranteed working, like the address of the Humor Letter. Quite likely you installed some flakey program, that put their own site as your start / home page into Internet Explorer, but because they are so flakey, they got shut down, and since then you get a 404 (page not found). Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Smash Nuts for Baking: Do you ever need finely crushed nuts in your recipe, but only have whole walnuts in your cupboard? No problem! An easy way I discovered to crush the nuts is to place them on a large sheet of wax paper, fold the wax paper over the top of the nuts and use a rolling pin to crush the nuts, pushing down and rolling. No mess, no fuss, and easy! By Linn from Dartmouth, Nova Scotia Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Two fathers-to-be met in the maternity waiting room. "Can you believe this? The first day of our vacation, and she goes into labor!" The second one looks at the first and says, "What do you have to complain about? This is our honeymoon!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
If GH can stand for P as in Hiccough If OUGH can stand for O as in Dough If PHTH can stand for T as in Phthisis If EIGH can stand for A as in Neighbor If TTE can stand for T as in Gazette If EAU can stand for O as in Plateau Then the right way to spell POTATO should be: "GHOUGHPHTHEIGHTTEEAU"
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How to make an icon for a favorite web site? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, October 14

Usually the weather warms up nicely in the second half of
October. This year that has started right after the snow 
earlier this week. 

On my walk I checked the fruit and veggie stands. Sometimes 
they lower their prices on Saturday evening, so that they 
don't have to pack up or toss stuff, that has been out for 
a while.

Fruit was out of my budget, but I managed to get three
cobs of corn for a dollar! It was tempting to head straight
home after that, but I did complete a 3 mile round. Not
as good as the 4-mile route, but good enough.
The first of those cobs sure tasted great!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1066 Battle of Hastings, in which William the Conqueror wins England 
1586 Mary Queen of Scots goes on trial for conspiracy against Elizabeth 
1834 1st black to obtain a US patent, Henry Blair, for a corn planter 
1884 George Eastman patents paper-strip photographic film 
1922 1st automated telephones-Pennsylvania exchange in NYC 
1944 German Field Marshal Erwin Rommel commits suicide rather 
   than face trial for his part in an attempt to overthrow Hitler  
1947 Chuck Yeager in Bell XS-1 makes 1st American supersonic 
   flight (Mach 1.015) 
1949 14 US Communist Party leaders convicted of sedition
1950 Rev Sun Young Moon liberated from Hung Nam prison 
1953 Ike promises to fire as Red any federal worker taking 5th amendment 
1969 Race riots in Springfield Mass
1971 2 killed in Memphis racial disturbances 
1982 6,000 Unification church couples wed in Korea
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

All speaking is public speaking whether it's to one person or a thousand. --- Roger Love It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err. --- Mahatma Gandhi Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. --- Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)
A new forestry graduate receives his first 5-year posting way out in the middle of a huge forest with no people around for miles. Much to his surprise, included in the survival gear that they give him, is a recipe for matzo balls. When he asks why he's receiving a matzo ball recipe, he is told, "Sometime, a few years down the road when the solitude *really* starts to get to you, you'll pull out this matzo ball recipe and start to mix it together. "Within five minutes you'll have a half a dozen Jewish women hovering over you telling you what you are doing wrong!" -------------- Hmmm, maybe I should try that. There must be lots of matzo ball recipes on the web. But first I am going to have to shoot some matzos!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Betsian Penaloza, 34, in San Juan, Puerto Rico Fatty The Maneater - Charged With Pimping Out Teen Daughter For $500 Reported in The Weekly Vice Betsian Penaloza, a 34-year-old Puerto Rico woman has been jailed after she allegedly pimped out her 14-year-old daughter for $500. According to federal authorities, Penaloza offered to sell her own 14-year-old daughter and two other underage girls to an undercover federal agent during a human trafficking investigation in Puerto Rico. Investigators say Penaloza brought her daughter and two other girls to the Sheraton Hotel at the San Juan Convention Center for the planned sexual encounter. Penaloza allegedly demanded $500 for sex with her daughter and $250 for each of the other two girls. Penaloza, who goes by the nickname "Fatty the Maneater," is also accused of prostituting other young girls and may face additional charges as the investigation continues. A list of charges was not immediately available. Penaloza remains in jail pending her initial hearing.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Lynn Re: MSIE Link Dear Webby, How can I put a link to a website that I use a *lot* in the Int. Explorer toolbar? I tried dragging the URL into a blank spot in the toolbar, but it didn't work (That's the way I do it in Firefox which I use most of the time; but this one particular website will only work correctly in Internet Explorer.) Thanks for any help you can give; love your humor letter! --Lynn Dear Lynn With IE the easiest way is to drag the icon from the address bar onto a blank spot on the desktop or drop it onto a desktop folder. You CAN enable links in the top bar, and drag it to there, but space there is limited, and if you narrow the window, those links are often hidden. Personally, I prefer the first method and have a few shortcuts to thematic folders along the left margin of the desktop. For example, a music folder, a graphics folder, etc. The reason for using shortcuts to folders, instead of desktop folders, is that you can change the icons for shortcuts, but all desktop folders look the same. In W7 that bug got fixed and you can change the icons for desktop folders. You can, of course just drag it onto the desktop, and leave it visible there for anybody who walks by. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reuse Cake Mix Bag For Decorating: When I make cupcakes from a cake mix, I always save the bag. I rinse the bag out, dry it, clip a corner and insert a decorating tip inside. It makes a perfect disposable frosting bag and these bags are super strong. By norulesart from Sunny Florida Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

In Jerusalem, a CNN journalist heard about a very old man who had been to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, each day, for a long, long time, and so she decided to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was! She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, she approached him for an interview. "I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?" "For about 60 years." "60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?" "I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray for all our children to grow up in safety and friendship." "How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?" "Like I'm talking to a stupid wall."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it". For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50". The next day someone stole it. Caution! These people Vote
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Windows can't open file 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, October 12



Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1483 Rabbi Issac Abarbanel starts his exegesis on the Bible
1860 1st aerial photo taken in US (from a balloon), Boston 
1919 Race riot at Elaine Arkansas 
1943 Italy declares war on former ally Germany
1953 Burglar alarm-ultrasonic or radio waves-patented-Samuel Bagno 
1964 Voskhod 1 crew returns
1987 1st military use of trained dolphins (US Navy in Persian Gulf) 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward." --- George Carlin "If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing." --- Benjamin Franklin
The following is a quote from a director of sports infor- mation in the Navy, regarding the theft of some mascots from the Naval Academy by Army rivals: "We knew Army cadets were involved because they cut through two fences to get to the goats, and 15 feet away there was an unlocked gate."
"Information? I need the number of Caseway Insurance Company." "Would you spell that, please?" "Certainly. That's C as in cadence. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you." "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Erica Hess, 24, in Daytona Beach, Florida Jailed After Toddler Daughter Found Walking On Roof Of Two Story Home Daytona Beach, Fla. Reported in The Weekly Vice Erica Hess, a 24-year-old Florida woman was jailed Tuesday after her toddler daughter was found walking on the roof of her two-story home. According to the Volusia County Sheriff's Office, deputies were dispatched at around 10 a.m. after a witness called to report that a toddler was walking on the roof of a neighbor's home. Deputies arrived to find a dog on the roof and Hess's 2-year-old daughter standing on an adjacent deck dressed only in underwear. The deputy reportedly watched as the toddler tried to crawl back onto the roof through a barrier that surrounded the deck. The deputy made several verbal attempts to alert the homeowner of the impending danger while staying within sight of the child. Erica Hess reportedly came out onto the deck about 15 minutes later to remove the child. Hess told the deputy that she was unaware that her daughter had climbed onto the roof. She claimed to have had an unobstructed view of the child at all times, but later admitted to losing track of the child while using the bathroom. Hess was booked into the Volusia County Jail and charged with one count of child neglect. She has one previous arrest in Volusia County for driving on a suspended or cancelled license.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: RJR Re: eml Dear Webby, When I try to open certain emails that have the extension .eml I am getting the error box that says "this file does not have a program associated with it...etc." and to create one under settings, folder options. When I check there I do see EML already listed. Does this have something to do with AOL sent emails? I recently removed Earthlink, which is when I began seeing this error. Thanks for any ideas. Have a happy Thanksgiving. R. J. Dear RJ That's just a virus masquerading as an Outlook Depressed message. That is why some of us have called Outlook Depressed a "Virus Magnet" for many years. It opens that stuff! Turn on the settings for showing all extensions, even known ones, and for showing all hidden files. Probably that file was actually something like "password.eml.pif" but the second extension was hidden. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Water Plants With Leftover Tea Don't throw out your leftover tea. I nstead feed it to you indoor or outdoor plants for an extra boost. Use brewed unsweetened tea only. By Ivy from Rancho Palos Verdes Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?" "Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it." "I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?" "If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family." Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off. When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Bonnie I was in the kitchen one day, trying to reach the baking powder on the top shelf of a cabinet. Being only five feet tall, I had to stretch, but still couldn't grab the box. Fortunately, I have two six-foot-tall sons whom I often call to come to my rescue. "Hey, Brian!" I yelled to my second son, who was in the living room. "Will you get your tallness in here and get this for me?" "Sure, Mom," he remarked as he bounded into the kitchen. "But next time, I'd prefer the title, 'Your Highness'."
» Snow goes the Goose


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Bolt to hold camera 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, October 12
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Woke up to a white wonderland. It had snowed overnight, 
and cooled off considerably. No chance of it melting before
I had to walk to the other end of town to see an optometrist.
My freezing ears remionded me that summer is definitely over,
and that there is no Gullible Warming in Alberta.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1285 180 Jews refuse baptism in Munich Germany, they are set on fire 
1492 Columbus arrives in the Bahamas; the real Columbus Day
1823 Charles Macintosh of Scotland begins selling raincoats (Macs)
1860 British & French troops capture Peking
1918 1st use of iron lung (Boston's Children Hospital) 
1933 John Dillinger escapes from the Allen County, OH, jail
1941 Russian govt moves from Moscow to Volga as Nazis close in on Moscow
1942 US navy defeats Japanese in WW II Battle of Cape Esperance 
1960 Nikita Khrushchev pounds his shoe at UN General Assembly session 
1977 Psychic Romark attempts to drive blindfolded, smashed into cop van 
1984 IRA bombs hotel where Margaret Thatcher is staying 
1988 Israel & China sign trade deal, plan diplomatic relations
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Only the shallow know themselves. --- Oscar Wilde When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him. --- Thomas Szasz
A rabbi was called to a Miami Beach Nursing Home to perform a wedding. An anxious old man met him at the door. The rabbi sat down to counsel the old man and asked several questions. "Do you love her?" The old man replied, "I guess." "Is she a good Jewish woman?" "I don't know for sure," the old man answered. "Does she have lots of money?" asked the rabbi. "I doubt it." "Then why are you marrying her?" the rabbi asked. "She can drive at night," the old man said
When the aged president of the company was out of town, half a dozen of his senior executives got together to plan some way to ease the old coot out of the driver's seat. To their horror, the executive VP's secretary buzzed him halfway through the meeting to inform him that the president had come back early and was on his way to see him. "If he catches us all here he'll know exactly what we're up to," cried the VP. "Quick, you five jump out the window!" "But we're on the thirteenth floor," protested the treasurer. "Jump!" yelled the VP. "This is no time for superstition!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Raymond Garcia, 45, Roswell, New Mexico Jailed After Getting Into Brawl With Stop Sign, Fighting Officers Reported in The Weekly Vice Raymond Garcia, a 45-year-old Roswell man was jailed Friday after he allegedly got into a fight with a stop sign, then attacked police officers who had been dispatched to break up the altercation. According to Roswell Police, officers dispatched to Main Street and West Deming at around 2:30 a.m. after a witness called 911 to report that a man was engaged in a fight with a stop sign, When officers arrived on the scene, Garcia became argumentative and attempted to flee. Two officers shot Garcia with Taser darts, however Garcia kicked and fought officers as they attempted to apprehend him. Officers attempted to use a Taser on Garcia a second time, however, he pulled the darts out and continued to resist. One officer attempted to use a baton to subdue him, however, Garcia reportedly grabbed the baton and swung it at officers. When officers tried to use pepper spray on Garcia, he wiped his face and ran away - throwing the baton at officers as he fled. Eventually, Garcia was tackled and subdued by three officers. Investigators believe that Garcia had used drugs prior to the incident, however, none were found on his person. The stop sign was not seriously injured in the attack. He was booked into the Chaves County Detention Center and charged with aggravated assault against a peace officer, disarming, and resisting arrest.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Maria Re: Camera bolt Dear Webby, I can't find that 1/4 inch by 20 bolt, that you specify for holding my camera. Is there a metric equivalent, that could be used? Thanks Maria Dear Maria If you force a similar metric bolt into that soft mounting hole, no tripod bolt will ever fit again. Not a good idea! You can probably find a cheap table-top tripod at a Dollar Store or at a camera store for under $10. Then just glue that onto your telescoping pole. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Water Plants With Leftover Tea Don't throw out your leftover tea. I nstead feed it to you indoor or outdoor plants for an extra boost. Use brewed unsweetened tea only. By Ivy from Rancho Palos Verdes Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Charlie made an appointment with a urologist, famous for his work in the field of impotence. The doctor examined him and said, "You're in remarkably good condition for a man of 85. Why are you here?" Charlie replied, "My friend Max says he has sex twice a week. I can't do that." The doctor shrugged. "Yes you can. You can certainly SAY you have sex as many times a week as you like."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A linguistics professor was lecturing his class. "In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative." "However," the professor continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up. "Yeah, right."
» Snow goes the Goose


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Tall Tripod 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, October 11

Thank you, Ray!

>From Dr Bill
I enjoy reading the tips you give because people are 
apparently doing things with their computer that I know 
nothing about - however, I found a free word processor 
some years ago which I have found to be the easiest, 
most reliable program I ever used, and I write and save a 
lot of stuff - it is called "Jarte" - you might like to share it
 with folks who aren't into the highly complex stuff that 
many appear to be addicted to.
Bill

I have not used Jarte, but it looks quite impressive!
It is available free at http://jarte.com
Jarte might be ideal for people, who just want a simple word
processor or have limited space. You CAN put Jarte onto a
camera chip or key-fob drive, and use it on different machines,
for example home and work, or when visiting relatives. You
don't have to install it on those alternate machines, and as
far as I can tell, it won't leave any traces on those machines..

Thanks Dr Bill!


Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1737 Earthquake kills 300,000 & destroys 3/4 of Calcutta, India 
1797 British naval forces defeat Dutch off Camperdown, Holland
1811 The Juliana, the 1st steam-powered ferryboat
1923 German mark falls to 10 billion per Pound, 4 billion per $
1945 Chinese civil war begins, Chiang Kai-Shek vs Mao Tse-Tung 
1968 Panama revolts
1991 Anita Hill testifies Clarence Thomas sexually harrassed her 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"Our dead are never dead to us, until we have forgotten them." --- George Eliot
>From Dave: Best Out Of The Office messages: 1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood. 2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all. 3. I will be unable to delete all the silly emails you send me until I return from vacation on October 30th. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received. 4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $10.99 for the first ten words and $5.99 for each additional word in your message. 5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over). 6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks. 7. I've run away to join a different circus.
>From Senna One morning I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, green mudpack on the face, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like that?" I asked her. "I told my son," she explained, "that if he ever did anything to embarrass me, I would embarrass him worse. He was caught cutting school. So now I've come to spend the day with him!"
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Apparently the link to the movie of the Solar Sneeze did not work for some email programs. Try this link: Solar Sneeze High Def Movie Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Keegan Curry, 25, in St. Petersburg, Florida Struck By Car While Fleeing From Loss-Prevention Officer Reported in The Weekly Vice Keegan Curry, a 25-year-old St. Petersburg man was hospitalized after he allegedly shoplifted from a local J.C. Penny retail store before he was struck by a car while fleeing the scene. According to St. Petersburg police, Curry was stopped by a loss-prevention officer after he attempted to leave a J.C. Penny retail store without paying for items he had concealed inside his pants. Curry pushed past the officer and stated "I'm not going back to prison" as he attempted to flee the scene. Investigators say the officer and a bystander chased Curry as he ran onto the northbound lane of a busy road and was struck by a 2005 Chrysler minivan. As rescue crews attempted to treat Curry's injuries, they removed two shirts from his pants that he had stolen from the store. Curry was taken to Bayfront Medical Center where he received treatment for severe injuries. The driver and front passenger inside the minivan were not seriously injured. Curry will be hauled to jail when he is discharged from the hospital.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Amy Re: Tall tripod Dear Webby, I need a really tall tripod or something, to take pictures above the heads of a crowd. My camera does have a swivel monitor, so that I don't have to be up there myself. What is the solution, and where can I get it? Amy Dear Amy Tripods and crowds do NOT mix. Everybody will either trip over it's legs or kick them. You need a "stick". Get a telescoping shower curtain rod, a 1 inch long 1/4" by 20 bolt and a 1/4" wingnut, plus some two component epoxy. Roughen one end of the curtain rod with sand paper and clean it with rubbing alcohol, then epoxy the bolt onto it, with the head of it on the end of the rod. Use more than the absolute minimum of epoxy and make it look nice and smooth. When the epoxy is hard, thread the wingnut onto the bolt, with the wings pointing towards the rod. Now you can thread the camera onto the bolt, until it just barely bottoms out. Then turn the wingnut up towards the camera and lock it. With the wingnut you can use a bit of force, but not with the bolt intio the camera. The telescoping rods can usually be locked by twisting them, and you can fix it for whatever height you need that day. If yours does not lock, you can force it to a few popular height levels and drill small holes through it. A small screw through both the outer and inner pipe will lock it. A lengthwise paint stripe on both pipes will really help for lining up the little holes. You don't have to thread the holes, the spring in the pipe has more than enough tension to hold the screw securely. Some people glue a cross or an "L" bracket onto the pipe for really smooth panning. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Pringles Cans for Storage Besides making the solar hot dog cooker that I've seen on several sites, I use Pringles containers for storing the plastic bags we get from stores. Then, I have a portable dispenser for plastic bags to store in car, hunting and fishing gear, and for gardening (for holding produce while harvesting and for gifting excess produce to others). By Clydecito from Western Kansas Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Doctor Bloom who was known for miraculous cures for arthritis had a waiting room full of people when a little old lady, completely bent over in half, shuffled in slowly, leaning on her walker. When her turn came, she went into the doctor's office, and, amazingly, emerged within half an hour walking completely erect with her head held high. A woman in the waiting room who had seen all this walked up to the little old lady and said, "It's a miracle! You walked in bent in half and now you're walking erect. What did that doctor do?" She answered, "Miracle, shmiracle . . he adjusted my walker."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Jackhas died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Jack's Last Willand Testament. "To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 50 acres of land, and 1 million dollars. To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus,the Jaguar and my business. To my daughter Suzy, I leave my yacht and $250,000. And to my brother-in-law Jeff, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my collection of vitamines."
» The last straw


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How to unlock PPS files? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, October 10

>From Frank
Hi Webby
Re: Winzip eats drive space
Or just use 7zip (www.7zip.com) which is free!!
Cheers
Frank

I have used 7zip. 
It does work, but it definitely requires changing habits
and reading instructions. Probably to avoid copyright suits,
they use a different user interface. 
If you are willing to read the instructions, the 7zip will
work well for you.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1780 Great Hurricane of 1780 kills 25,000 in Caribbean 
1846 Neptune's moon Triton discovered by William Lassell 
1868 Cuba revolts for independence against Spain
1874 Fiji becomes a British possession 
1911 Sun Yat-sen's revolutionaries overthrow Manchus 
   (Taiwan Nat'l Day) 
1913 Gamboa Dam in Panama blown up; Atlantic & Pacific waters mix 
1914 German forces route Belgians in Antwerp Belgium (WW I) 
1933 1st synthetic detergent for home use marketed 
1938 Germany completed annexation of Czechoslovakia's Sudetenland 
1963 Treaty banning atmospheric nuclear tests signed by US, UK, USSR
1970 Fiji gains independence from Britain (National Day) 
1975 Liz Taylor's 6th marriage (re-marries Richard Burton) 
1979 Panama assumes sovereignty over Canal Area (ie Canal Zone) 
1987 Bruce Springsteen releases his 9th album "Tunnel of Love" 
1991 Ex-postal worker Joseph Harris kills 4 postal workers
1991 Greyhound Bus ends bankruptcy 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. --- Dave Barry The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern. --- Lord Acton, 1881 An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory. --- Friedrich Engels "A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age." --- Robert Frost
A man was burglaring a house in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, he heard a parrot cry out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber ignored it, and takes the TV. Again, the parrot cries out. "Jesus is gonna get you." The robber started to get a little worried. "What's your name, birdie?" "Moses." "What dummy named you Moses?" "The same dummy who called his Rottweiler Jesus."
A man was sued by the mayor for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined. After sentencing he asked the judge, "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Allmond a pig?" The judge said that was true. "Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Allmond?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Allmond with no fear of legal action. The man looked directly at Mrs. Allmond and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Allmond."
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Click on the picture for the large version Solar Sneeze. Note the size of the earth! Earth is not really at that location, just shown for size comparison. The mass of the sneeze is tens of thousands of times the mass of earth. Movie of the sneeze You may have to visit the on-line version of the Humor Letter to see it.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Cesar Alcivar, 40, in Clearwater, FL Jailed for Impregnating 12-Year-Old Girl after Sexually Molesting Her For More Than A year Reported in The Weekly Vice Cesar Alcivar, a 40-year-old Florida man has been jailed after he allegedly impregnated a 12-year-old girl after repeatedly molesting her for more than a year. According to Clearwater police, an investigation was launched after a 12-year-old girl was brought to the emergency room complaining of stomach pain, but was found to be pregnant instead. Investigators say the girl's mother brought he girl to a Clearwater area hospital after she complained of chronic stomach pain. Doctors performed tests, however, that revealed she was pregnant. The investigation that followed revealed that the girl had endured more than a year of sexual abuse beginning when she was just 11 years old. The victim identified the suspect as 39-year-old Cesar Alcivar. Alcivar was booked into the Pinellas County Jail and charged with capital sexual battery. Bond has not yet been set in the case.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Nora Re: PPS files that won't open Dear Webby, People send me PPS files all the time, often with really beautiful pictures. Sometimes, however, I get an error about Open Office not loading password encrypted Microslop Powerpoint presentations. I guess somebody is trying to rub it in, that they had the money to buy the full Microslop Office. I don't have that kind of money and use Open Office. Usually, it seems, people password stuff after they slobber religious or dogooder quotes onto good pictures. Is there a way around that childish passwording of PPS files? Nora Dear Nora You can go to my tool box at http://webby.com/tools and grab the Microsft Powerpoint READER. That one is free. Depending on the type of passwording, you can only view the PPS, but can't take the slobbery comments off. To make it editable, you have to send it to somebody, who has the full version of Microsoft Office. They can save it in editable mode. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Pringles Cans for Storage Besides making the solar hot dog cooker that I've seen on several sites, I use Pringles containers for storing the plastic bags we get from stores. Then, I have a portable dispenser for plastic bags to store in car, hunting and fishing gear, and for gardening (for holding produce while harvesting and for gifting excess produce to others). By Clydecito from Western Kansas Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

A nun was sitting at a window in her convent one day when she was handed a letter from home. Upon opening it a $50 bill dropped out. She was most pleased at receiving the gift from her home folks, but as she read the letter her attention was distracted by the actions of a shabbily dressed stranger who was leaning against a post in front of the convent. She couldn't get him off her mind and thinking that he might be in financial difficulties. She took the $50 bill and wrapped it in a piece of paper, on which she had written, "Don't despair, Sister Eulalia." She threw it out of the window to him. He picked it up, read it, looked at her with a puzzled expression, tipped his hat and went off down the street. The next day she was in her room saying her prayers when she was told that a man was at her door who insisted on seeing her. She went down and found the shabbily dressed stranger waiting for her. Without saying a word he handed her a roll of bills. When she asked what the bills were for he replied, "That's the four-hundred bucks you have coming. Don't Despair paid 7-1."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
My sister, went to the department store to check out the bridal registry of our niece whose wedding was coming up soon. When my sister returned from the store, she tossed the gift list on a table and declared, "I think she's too young to get married." "Why do you say that?" I asked. "Because," she said, "they registered for Nintendo games."
» Top of the world


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Nuisance temp files after using Winzip 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, October 9

If one of you is good at teaching people how to bake,
and wants to do it online, with eBooks, grab
bakingtutor.com
Eloise, the owner of it, is too busy with her glutenfree
baking and stuff, and is willing to sell the domain name.
If you are interested, send me an email, or write to her 
and make her an offer. 

>From Candace
DEAR WEBBY,
THIS Morning you said Happy THANKSDGIVING. 
well I think you are a little off.

because this is OCTOBER not NOVEMBER. 
THANKSGIVING is next month. there
is still HALLOWEEN to have yet. 
did you make an ERROW or something?
CANDACE

Dear Candace
Keep in mind that the Viking Eric the Red, 
grandfather of Hagar the Horrible, 
discovered Canada a thousand years before 
Columbus mistook the Carribean islands for India 
and called the natives Indians. 
And today, 1012 years ago, Hagar's Great-grand son Leif Ericson
crashed in Vinland, today's Newfoundland.

That is why Canada Day is 4 days before your July 4th 
holiday, and why Canada's Thanksgiving is a month 
before yours.

Don't worry, we generally celebrate both anyway.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1000 Leif Ericson discovers "Vinland" (Newfoundland) 
1547 Miguel de Cervantes was born, novelist (Don Quixote) 
1855 Joshua Stoddard of Worcester, Mass patents calliope
1876 1st 2-way telephone conversation, 1st over outdoor wires
1903 11" rainfall in 24 hrs (NYC) 
1936 Hoover Dam begins transmitting electricity to LA 
1946 1st electric blanket manufactured; sold for $39.50
1947 1st telephone conversation between a moving car & a plane
1968 Government seizes oil fields in Peru
1975 Emperor Hirohito of Japan visits SF 
1980 1st consumer use of home banking by computer (Knoxville Tn) 
1989 Penthouse Magazine's hebrew edition hits the newstands 
1990 Saddam threatens to hit Israel with a new missile 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. --- Abba Eban
A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too much and he could go no farther. He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours he hadn't gotten a single person to stop. Finally a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he got to going too fast to honk the horn on his bike and he would slow down. Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had 2 Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. He then relayed, "And you're not going to believe this, but there's guy on a 10-speed bike honking to get them to let him pass."
Morris goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" Morris replied, "My wife is poisoning me." The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "I'm sure you're wrong." The man pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me. What should I do?" The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what, let me talk to her. I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know." A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I called your wife. She talked to me on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?" The man anxiously says, "Yes, please." "Take the poison!"
Back by popular demand!
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Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Sophia E. Davidson, 21, in Massilon, Ohio Jailed for hijacking Repo tow truck Thanks to Penny for reporting this bimbo malfunction: MASSILLON, Ohio A 21-year-old city woman hijacked a tow truck with her repossessed SUV hooked to the back and led Massillon police on a 7.5-mile chase, which some veteran officers say was the wildest and most dangerous of their careers. The crash ended when the woman, Sophia E. Davidson, of 503 Tremont Ave. SE, lost control of the tow truck in the 10,000 block of Orrville Street NW and slammed into a vacant home. No one was injured. “I’ve seen a lot of chases in 25 years,” Sgt. J.J. DiLoreto said. “But nothing like that.” “I’ve never chased anybody driving a tow truck with a car on the back of it,” Lt. Michael Mareno added. Ed Meadows, a tow truck driver for Skipco, said he was attempting to repossess Davidson’s 2004 Mercury Mountaineer that was parked outside of Huntington Bank, 153 Lincoln Way E, at about 11 a.m. Friday. As he was connecting the tow gear, Davidson approached him and attempted to stop him by pulling at his side. Meadows ignored her and continued to attach the tow equipment. The next thing Meadows knew, his driver’s side door swung shut. “As I was repo’ing it, she jumped in and took off,” a befuddled Meadows said, throwing his hands in the air. “...I’m kind of dumbfounded right now. I’ve never had that happen before and I’ve been doing this a long time.” With her Mountaineer hooked to the back of a Skipco-owned Ford F250, Davidson fled downtown Massillon by way of Second Street and headed north onto state Route 21. As the vehicles fish-tailed over both northbound lanes, the tires of the Mountaineer began to disintegrate, engraving the payment with black skid marks for nearly two miles. The tires eventually blew off the Mountaineer, but Davidson continued driving. Speeds exceeded 65 mph. Davidson, with Massillon and Lawrence Township police trailing her, was slowed by the driver of a semi tractor trailer rig who intentionally tried to block her path. Then she turned west onto Butterbridge Road. Vehicles pulled over to the side of the road as more than five police cruisers pursued Davidson. Shortly after turning onto Orrville Street, Davidson lost control of the truck, which spun and crashed into the front of a single-story vacant home. The tow truck knocked out the entire front wall. Police swarmed the truck, drawing their firearms and ordering Davidson from the vehicle, in-dash camera footage of the accident showed. One officer used an asp to shatter the truck’s window and drag Davidson out the hard way and take her into custody.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Alice Re: Winzip eats drive space Dear Webby, Whenever I use Winzip to unzip any file, the free space on the hard drive shrinks by two to three times the size of the unzipped file. I don't have a lot of space to spare and this sure does not help. What can be done about that? Alice Dear Alice Always run CrapCleaner after using Winzip. Winzip likes to litter your drive with temp files and is too sloppy to clean up after itself. Even the newest PRO version still won't let you specify where to put temp files, for example onto an empty USB drive. It insists on putting the temp files onto the C: drive. You can get CrapCleaner free at http://webby.com/tools http://webby.com/tools The first time you run CrapCleaner, uncheck Cookies, so that it doesn't automatically delete the cookies that you need for your on-line banking and shopping. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comRefurbishing Candles
If you have warped candles, dunk them in a pan of warm water to make them pliable enough to bend back straight. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

>From Maxi I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. Hell, if I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
When a woman wears leather clothing, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he goes weak in the knees and he begins to think irrationally. Ever wonder why? Because she smells like a new truck.
» Underground Waterways


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Paint for cameras 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, October 8
Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Thank you Marian!
Thank you Carl!

>From Margee
Hey Webby,
 Wow!  Who knew Australia is leading the
USA in causing Global Warning:
 "1924 160 consecutive days of 100º at Marble Bar, Australia begins"
 LOL :)
 Regards, 
Margee :)

Hi Margee
Was that due to your gramma's new swim suit?
Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
451 Council of Chalcedon (4th ecumenical council) opens
1604 The supernova called "Kepler's nova" is 1st sighted 
1871 Great Fire kills 200, destroys over 4ýmiles (10 kmý) of 
   Chicago buildings
1906 Karl Nessler demonstrates 1st 'permanent wave' for hair
1912 1st Balkan War begins 
1939 Germany annexes Western Poland 
1957 Turkish & Syrian border guards exchange fire   
      (they still do that)
1962 N Korea reports 100% election turnout, 
   100% vote for Workers' Party
1978 Kenneth Warby sets world speed record on water (514 kph) 
1988 Fire in Seattle's Space Needle causes evacuation, $2,000 damage
1990 Israeli police kill 17 Palestinian rioters 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"Never look at the trombones, it only encourages them." --- Richard Strauss Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. --- Dave Barry The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class is unfit to govern. --- Lord Acton
>From Greta My violin teacher was instructing a large group class. She showed them her violin and said, "This violin was made in the early 1800s in Vienna." Someone in the audience raised their hand and asked, "So you got it used?"
A wealthy man had a falling out with his two sons. It was serious enough that he decided to change his will. At his lawyer's office, he threw his will on the table and said, "This needs an heircut."
Back by popular demand!
All In One PX Fixer has all the necessary tools included: Fix System Errors, Improve Startup, Clean Registry, Defrag Disk, Optimize System Settings, Back-Up, etc. Currently Smart OC Fixer is 50% off regular price!

Three wives were bemoaning their husbands' attitudes towards leftovers. "It gets rough," one said. "My husband is a Movie Producer and he calls them 'reruns'." "You think you have it bad," was the reply. "Mine is a Quality Control Engineer and he calls them 'rejects'!" "That's nothing compared to me," said the third lady. "My husband is a mortician. He calls them 'remains'!" Click on the picture for the large version Yesterday's sunset from here.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Abbie Arms, a 24, Newark, Delaware Jailed After Abandoning Baby On Sidewalk To "Answer Phone Call" Abbie Arms, a 24-year-old Delaware woman was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly left her infant son unattended on a sidewalk for more than 45 minutes while she had more pressing matters to attend to. According to police, officers were dispatched to the Glasgow Court Trailer Park Wednesday after a resident called to report that a woman set her infant child on a sidewalk, walked away, and never returned. Investigators arrived on the scene a short time later and found an 11-month-old child, that had been buckled into a car seat and then left unattended on the sidewalk. The witness told police that she saw a woman dressed in shorts and a t-shirt leave the child on the sidewalk before walking away. Additional officers were dispatched to the scene to assist in locating the child's mother. Officers searched the area for more than 45 minutes before eventually locating the mother at her residence in another part of the trailer park. The mother, identified as Abbie Arms, told officers that she had to attend a call when she left her son behind. Arms was booked into jail and charged with endangering the welfare of a child. She was released after posting $250 bail.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Paint for digital camera Dear Webby, A few days ago you mentioned paining a digital camera. What kind of paint would be safe? Ann Dear Ann Provided that you use some masking tape over the lens area, the screen and the seams of anything, that opens, you can use any paint you want. Considering the resale value, a metallic paint looks the best, or a candy-pple gloss. If you are not worried about resale value, but fewer drops, use a thick latex paint. They are not as smooth and not as slippery. If dropping is a real problem, get Loctite Color Guard That is a light blue or fire engine red rubber paint made for dipping valve handles or tool handles for work in explosive environments or up on high towers. It is not cheap, a can costs between $9 and $19, depending on the dealer, but I have never dropped a tool, that I had dipped into it, no matter how high up a mast I was. With a camera, of course, you just paint it on. It produces a thick, soft, rubbery finish, that is almost sticky. If somebody has arthritis, that thick, soft rubber will make holding the camera relatively painless. And yes, after breaking some fingers, dipping your pens into that Loctite Color Guard rubber paint will make holding them a lot less painful. Industrial tool suppliers stock it or can order it, the Snap-On tool pusher usually carries a can or two, and you can also order it over the Internet. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comShaving Tips:
Shaving Tips: When shaving, first I use an electric shaver. Before I finish up with a straight razor, I use some moisturizer on my face. It eliminates razor burns and and cuts. It really works quite well. By Garyblue from Knoxville, TN. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Please Vote at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Register and set your favorites, so that you can conveniently vote for each of the newsletters, that deserve your vote all in one place, without having to go there separately for each..

5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Driving my friend Steve and his girlfriend to the airport, I passed a billboard showing a bikini-clad well built beauty holding a can of beer. Steve's girlfriend glanced up at it and announced, "I suppose, if I drank a six-pack of that brand, I'd look like her." "No," Steve corrected. "If I drank a six-pack, then you'd look like her." He lived.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two men stood on the lonely lighthouse. Through the fog they could see a small boat making its way toward them, with a lonely occupant. Suddenly a squall lifted the craft and tossed the man into the water. The two men sprang into action. Hurriedly they launched their own craft and fought their way through perilous and treacherous waters to reach the man. At last they got him aboard their boat. "It's a good thing you rescued me," the dripping man said gratefully. "I was coming out to see you about your income tax......" "OOOPS, looks like he fell overboard!"
» Lures


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What to do when the computer clock is slow? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, October 7

Thank you Marian!
Thank you Carl!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
3761 -BC- Origin of Jewish Mundane Era
1571 Turkish fleet defeated by Spanish & Italians in Battle of Lepanto
1737 40 foot waves sink 20,000 small craft & kill 300,000 (Bengal, India) 
1816 1st double decked steamboat arrived in New Orleans 
1886 Spain abolishes slavery in Cuba 
1908 Crete revolts against Turkey & aligns with Greece
1924 160 consecutive days of 100º at Marble Bar, Australia begins
1931 1st infra-red photograph, Rochester, NY 
1950 US forces invade North Korea by crossing the 38th parallel 
1963 Hurricane Flora hits Haiti & Dominican Republic, kills 7,190
1990 Israel begins handing out gas masks to its citizens
1991 Child star Adam Rich arrested for stealing hypodermics
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater. --- Gail Godwin Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. --- Napoleon Bonaparte
Because an increasing number of people are having heart attacks while gambling, the big, high-class casinos are now equipped with sophisticated defibrillators. They are computer-controlled to deliver the exact electric shock needed to revive a heart attack victim. That is, if you're at a big, high-class casino. At the cheaper casinos downtown, they just drag you across the carpet and touch your belly button to a doorknob.
The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there. "Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department." "Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look, I'll Give you an example." The coach went out into the hall and grabbed a jock who was jogging down the hallway. "Run over to my office and see if I'm there," he ordered. Twenty minutes later the jock returned, sweaty and out of breath. "You're not there, sir," he reported. "Oh, I see what you mean," conceded the President, scratching his head. "I would have phoned first."
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Thanks to Dad for these pictures. That is what he did yesterday. Half an hour train ride, half an hour bus ride, then with the cable car up to the Luener See, an artificial hydro dam lake. Click on the picture for the large version Click on the picture for the large version A coffee and a bite to eat at the top station Click on the picture for the large version Hiking along the lake on the now beautifuly groomed path Click on the picture for the large version That building, the Totalp, is the turn-around place. In summer there is cattle there, and the cow-pokes live in that building. You CAN continue from there to hike the back side of the lake or hike up to a peak, but like most of the people on the trail yesterday, he turned around there and hiked back to the dam. Click on the picture for the large version Looks different coming back! Click on the picture for the large version Getting close to the dam Click on the picture for the large version Some apple-strudel and a coffee in the sunshine before taking the cable car back down into the valley. I wish I could be hikihng with him, but sizing an sharing the pictures with you is second best.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Heather Lacey, 25, DeWitt, NY Jailed After Forcing 3 yr old Son To Live In Feces Covered Bedroom Heather Lacey, a 25-year-old New York woman was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly locked her toddler son in a small bedroom for up to 22 hours a day without supervision or access to a bathroom. According to DeWitt Police, an investigation was launched on Monday after detectives received a tip that alleged a woman was keeping her son locked inside a small bedroom unattended for long periods of time. Police arrived at Lacey's residence and discovered a 3-year- old boy locked inside a bedroom that was covered with urine and fecal matter. Investigators say the child's bed, floor and walls were all covered with human waste. Police discovered through the course of the investigation that the boy was locked inside the room for up to 22 hours per day without supervision. Lacey was booked into jail and charged with unlawful imprisonment and endangering the welfare of a child. Bail in her cause has been set at $5,000.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Sheila Re: Computer clock is late Dear Webby, My clock in my task bar has just recently started being wrong. I have almost been late on several occasions because the clock was several minutes slow. What could be causing this? Sheila Dear Sheila If you have your clock set to synchronize with the rest of the world at midnight, but turn your computer off at 11:55 PM, then your computer's clock will go a bit more out of sync every day. Just like wall clocks and wrist watches need to be set occasionally, the same applies to the computer's clock. That does not mean your computer's clock is not accurate, it's that the year is not 365 days, but 365 1/4 days, minus a few hours. Some atomic clocks are set for that, and some eggheads fudge and correct even that occasionally. The Synchronize function calls that atomic clock, or actually a server, that is updated daily, and uses that to update your computer clock. Just double-click the clock and change the time for the synchronizing to a time, during which your normally are online. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Egg Cartons For Craft Organization: I save egg cartons of both kinds cardboard and Styrofoam. I use the bottom of all sizes in the Styrofoam to use when I do watercolor painting. They can be used for any painting medium and also for crafting. I use them and then toss them out after my day of painting for mixing colors. You can also either the Styrofoam or cardboard cartons for all sorts of crafting or sewing, for storing beads for Jewelry making, for any kind of small items to keep you organized. By handbaglady from Manahawkin, NJ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

The Manhattan Commuter train was packed. Suddenly there was a jingle on the floor. Most necks were craned. One elderly gentleman, however, bent down and picked something up. He then asked, "Did anyone drop a half dollar?" "I did," answered three women at once. "Well," said the elderly gent with a smile, "here's a dime of it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Nana I took my five-year-old grandson to a relative's wedding. As the four bridesmaids walked down the aisle toward the front of the church, he turned to me and asked, "Is this where the groom decides which one he should have married?"
» Earth


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Running programs from other drives 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, October 6

The injections worked OK this time, and by Friday I could 
read again. The only part that was painful was getting the
bill for $150 handed to me. Medicare does not cover that.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1683 13 German families arrive in present day Philadelphia
1781 Americans & French begin siege of Cornwallis at Yorktown; 
   last battle of the Revolutionary War
1866 1st train robbery in US 
1889 Thomas Edison shows his 1st motion picture 
1890 Mormon Church outlaws polygamy
1908 Austria annexes Bosnia & Herzegovina 
1923 USSR adopts experimental calendar 
1928 Chiang Kai-Shek becomes president of China 
1959 Soviet Luna 3, 1st successful photographic spacecraft, 
   impacts Moon 
1972 22-car train carrying 2,000 pilgrims derails, kills 208 in Mexico
1973 Yom Kippur War begins as Syria & Egypt attack Israel 
1991 Elizabeth Taylor weds for the 8th time (Larry Fortensky) 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary. --- Robert Louis Stevenson Everybody hates me because I'm so universally liked. --- Peter de Vries "You can learn from anyone even your enemy." --- Publius Ovidius Naso Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. --- Aldous Huxley ----- somebody should tell Al Gore!
There was a knock at the door. It was a small boy, about six years old. Something of his had found its way into my garage, he said, and he wanted it back. Upon opening the garage door, I noticed two additions: a base- ball and a broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole. "How do you suppose this ball got in here?" I asked the boy. Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at me, the boy exclaimed, "Wow! I must have thrown it right through that hole!
"One of our co-workers went missing for a few hours, and we tore up the place looking for him. The boss finally found him fast asleep. Rather than wake him, he quietly placed a note on the man's chest. "As long as you're asleep," it read, "you have a job. But as soon as you wake up, you're fired!"
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Click on the picture for the large version Fall in Shanxi, China
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Coutney Speer, 31, Bryant, Ark Teacher - Charged With Having Sex With Student In School Parking Lot Bryant, Ark. (The Report by The Weekly Vice Courtney Speer, a 31-year-old English teacher at Bryant High School was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly had sex with a student in the school parking lot and other locations. According to Bryant Police, an investigation was launched Monday when a 17-year-old student told school resource officers that he was involved in a sexual relationship with teacher at the same school. It was not reported, whether Speer had just picked a habitual gossip, or whether any event, or lack of any event, prompted the confessions. Investigators say Speer and the student had sexual intercourse for the first time in her car which was parked in the school parking lot. The pair reportedly had sex three more times with at least two instances taking place at her residence. The alleged sexual relationship began in June of this year. Courtney reportedly resigned from her job the same day the investigation was launched and turned herself in to police on Wednesday morning. Speer was booked into jail and charged with five counts of sexual assault. Two of those counts were filed in Benton County where she reportedly resides. She was released after posting a $20,000 bond. Speer is married and has two children. Hubby might get miffed, when he reads this.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Ron Re: Programs on different drives Dear Webby, a question for when your eyes get better again and I hope all goes well. I have an external hard drive labeled F drive. Can I install programs on that drive instead of C drive and will they work the same? I want to free up some space on C drive. Or can programs be moved from C to F or do I have to uninstall and reinstall them? Thanks as always for your help. Also how can I find and remove old drivers. I know you have given tips on old drivers but I do not know how to do it. Thanks. Ron Dear Ron Yes, sure you can install them there! I have reserved the C: drive for JUST the OS since Windows 3.1, and have always put programs onto E:, and produced data onto F: However, also save the setup file. The Setup file doesn't just unzip all the included files, it also puts notices into the registry, telling Windows where to find that program and it's components. You need that,when you attach that external drive to a different machine. Instead of smart PIFs (Program Information Files) like in Windows 3 and 3.1, starting with Windoze 95 all that information was put into the central registry, a huge, unwieldy and very user-hostile dump. Since then, no matter whether you moved a program to a different drive or a different machine, you have to uninstall and re-install at the new location, unless you want to hand-edit the registry. (NOT Recommended!) Re the old drivers, CrapCleaner lets you find those, but unless you are nitpicking for a few extra Kilobytes of space, I would not bother with them. Most, except those for HP stuff, are quite small and not really worth the hassle. If you need space, go after movies and music. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Canning Jars to Start Cuttings Instead of buying a plant for a birthday or housewarming gift, grow one. I have a few old canning jars in my kitchen window, and I grow new plants in water from clippings of older plants. When it has new roots I plant it in dirt and give a homemade gift that will last a long time. By Georgjeana from Tallmadge, OH Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

I couldn't help overhearing a man at a nearby pay phone. "I know it's something you want," he said earnestly, "but I don't think tattoos are a good idea. And the same goes for body piercing. As long as you're living in my house, I think you should respect my wishes." I was secretly cheering him on for his fatherly firmness. Then came the 'coup de grace': "Besides, Ma, you're 75 years old! You don't NEED a tattoo!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
While interviewing job applicats I was talking to an attractive young woman. Looking over the application form, I noticed that the girl had not answered one important question concerning transportation to and from work. "What about your bus line?" I asked her. "I don't believe I mentioned it," came the pleased reply, "but it's a 38D." Hmmm. That number is probably related to typing speed.
» Sound Of Earth


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Moisture Migration 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, October 4

Thank you, Francis!

Wednesday morning I woke up to a white world.
Ashes from the Gullible Warming that Obama and Al Gore keep 
talking about? 
By the time I got my glasses on, it was clear, that all the
white stuff was just snow. So I gruffily conceded, that 
summer is over and put on the long jeans. 
Just for the morning! 
Sure enough, by early afternoon it was warm enough to wear
shorts for washing the car windows and getting it ready 
for the trip to Calgary on Thursday morning.

Looks like it is the season to be envious of you Floridians
and Texans.

As you read this, I am getting injections into my eyes.
That means there probably won't be any newsletters sent out 
on October 5, and possibly 6. I sure hope it won't be a disaster 
like last month. My eyes still have not completely recovered 
from that. However, I will write and send them again 
as soon as I can.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1582 Last day of the Julian calendar in Italy, many Catholic countries 
1648 Peter Stuyvesant establishes Americas 1st volunteer firemen
1824 Mexico becomes a republic
1883 Orient Express' 1st run, linking Turkey to Europe by rail 
1910 Portugal becomes a republic, King Manuel II flees to England 
1912 Nicaraguan Gen Zeledon, opponent of US occupation, is executed 
1955 Rev Sun Young Moon leaves prison in Seoul 
1957 USSR launches Sputnik I, the 1st artificial Earth satellite
1958 5th French republic established 
1959 USSR Luna 3 sent back 1st photos of Moon's far side 
1984 US govt closes down due to budget problems
1985 Shite Muslims claim to have killed hostage William Buckley
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. --- Aldous Huxley Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century. --- Dame Edna Everage "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all." --- Sam Ewing
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol - Dead. The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead. Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead. Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive. So the Minister asked the congregation - "What can you learn from this demonstration?" Little was sitting in the back and quickly stood up and said, "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"
Morris was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress that was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ and common knowledge. He turned to his wife Tabitha, with a look of question on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest shmucks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear!"
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Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Ashley Bellamy, 22, Upper Darby, PA Jailed After Police Find 36 Glass Vials Of Crack Cocaine Inside Her Vagina Ashley Bellamy, a 22-year-old Pennsylvania woman was jailed Saturday after she allegedly hid 36 glass vials of crack cocaine in her vagina in an attempt to avoid arrest. According to police, a 40-year-old man was attempting to buy crack cocaine from Bellamy and her boyfriend in a Wawa Grocery Store parking lot when the couple pulled a gun on the man and demanded that he get more money. Instead, the man ran into the store and called 911. Investigators say police arrived on the scene and ordered Bellamy and her boyfriend to get out of the vehicle. When Bellamy exited the vehicle, police noted that she was walking in a strange manner. "I've got crack in my vagina," Bellamy reportedly told officers when she realized police were onto her. A female officer who had been summoned to the scene found 36 glass vials containing crack cocaine inside the woman's vagina. Bellamy told investigators that her boyfriend, 22-year-old Marcus Gibson, ordered her to hide the cocaine when he noticed police had arrived at the scene. Officers also recovered $646 from Bellamy's handbag. Bellamy and Gibson were booked into jail and charged with violation of the health and safety act for drug possession and drug dealing. Bail has been set at $75,000 each. Gun and ttempted robbery charges may be added later.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Tom Re: Moisture Migration Dear Webby, You have been such a help with computer questions, and seem to have a great deal of knowledge on everyday items also. I would appreciate it if you could find an answer for this question. I take my lunch to work in a plastic cooler about 12 X 16 inches and 18 deep. I put a few cans of soda in the bottom, cover them with ice and then put my sandwich in on top. Some time the sandwich is wrapped in Saran Wrap and sometimes in wax paper and then put in a plastic sealable sandwich bag. By lunch time sometimes, and only sometimes the bread on one side of the sandwich is soggy and the other slice is hard, dried out. I leave my cooler in the car and this seems to happen all year round. (Chicago area) Why does this happen and how do I stop it? Tom Dear Tom Moisture in the sandwich will condense in the cold side, which will reduce the humidity in the sandwich bag, causing more liquid to evaporate on the warm side, and condense on the cold side. Just cover te ice with some folded up bubble-wrap or piece of styrofoam. The sandwich will still be cool, but not soggy on one side. A small styrofoam box, that a modem or hard drive came in also works fine as a thermal "boat". You just have to prevent the sandwich bag from touching the ice. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Touchup Paint in Film Canisters Save film canisters and use them to store small amounts of leftover paint for touch-ups. Label each one and store in a handy place. Instead of a label, you can also just paint a part of the film canister lid with the paint for quick reference. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO For those of you, who have never seen a film canister: Once upon a time, long, long ago, before Digital Cameras, cameras used to use film, that came in cute, little pill bottle size plastic or aluminum cans. Nowadays, you can use pill bottles to store small amounts of paint. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Four retired guys are walking down a street in Mesa, Ariz. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar . . . . ALL DRINKS 10 CENTS!" They look at each other, then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, Gentlemen?" There seems to be a fully-stocked bar, so each of the men ask for a martini. In short order, the bartender serves up four iced martinis -- shaken, not stirred, and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please." The four men stare at the bartender for a moment, then look at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round. Again, four excellent martinis are produced with the bartender again saying, "That's 40 more cents, please." They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand. They have each had two martinis, and so far they've spent less than a dollar. Finally one of the men says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?" "Here's my story," the bartender said. "I'm a retired sailor, and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the lottery for $25 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime, wine, liquor, beer, all the same." "Wow. That's quite a story," says one of the men. The four of them sipped at their martinis and couldn't help but notice three other guys at the end of the bar who didn't have a drink in front of them, and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were there. One man gestures at the three at the end of the bar without drinks and asks the bartender, "What's with them?" The bartender says, "Oh, they're from Scotland. They're waiting for happy hour at 5 o'clock when drinks are half price."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The Pentagon recently unveiled its new super computer to the top brass. This fantastic device, capable of making bazillions of decisions in split nanoseconds, is designed to solve all military problems with the greatest of ease. To test its capabilities, the brass poses a tactical problem to it and then asks for a decision, "Attack or Retreat?" The computer hums a bit, blinks a myriad of lights and answers, "Yes." The brass, somewhat confused by this answer, replies, "Yes what?" The computer instantly replies, "Yes, sir!"
» Crazy Critters


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Free Internet Radio 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, October 3

Tomorrow I have to go for more injections into my eyes.
That means there probably won't be any newsletters sent out 
on October 5, and possibly 6. I sure hope it won't be a disaster 
like last month. My eyes still have not completely recovered 
from that. However, I will write and send them again 
as soon as I can.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
2333 -BC- Tangun establishes kingdom of Chosun (Korea)
1430 Jews are expelled from Eger Bohemia 
1863 Lincoln designates last Thursday in November as Thanksgiving Day 
1913 Federal Income Tax signed into law (at 1%) 
1922 1st facsimile photo send over city telephone lines, Washington, DC 
1929 Kingdom of Serbs, Croats & Slovenes changes name to Yugoslavia 
1942 Launch of the 1st A-4/V-2 rocket to altitude of 53 miles (85 km) 
1947 1st telescope lens 200" (508 cm) in diameter completed 
1967 William Knight sets X-15 speed rec of 7,297 KPH/4,534 MPH/Mach 6.72 
1987 Michael Pruffer of France skis 135.26 MPH at Portillo, Chile
1990 East Germany & West Germany merge to become Germany 
1990 Florida record store owner Charles Freeman is found guilty of obscenity, 
      for selling 2 Live Crew rap records 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

>From Sandie: The Center for Disease Control has released a list of symptoms of bird flu. If you experience any of the following, please seek medical treatment immediately: 1. High fever 2. Congestion 3. Nausea 4. Fatigue 5. Aching in the joints 6. An irresistible urge to sh.. on someone's windshield
Kids! How Can A Stranger Tell If Two People Are Married? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. - Derrick, age 8 What Do You Think Your Mom And Dad Have In Common? Both don't want any more kids. - Lori, age 8 What Do Most People Do On A Date? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. - Lynnette, age 8 When Is It OK To Kiss Someone? When they're rich. - Pam, age 7 Is It Better To Be Single Or Married? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. - Anita, age 9 How Would The World Be Different If People Didn't Get Married? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? - Kelvin, age 8
I was peacefully working away when the phone disturbed me. "Hello?" I said. A girl's voice came over the line. "Can I speak to Ben, please?" I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I don't like people who call wrong numbers. I replied, "I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Can I take a message?" "Do you know what time he'll be back?" she responded. "I think he said he'd be home around 10:00." Silence on the other end... a confused silence. "Is this Steve?" My name isn't Steve, either. This was definitely a wrong number. So I replied, "Yes, it is. Do you want to leave a message for Ben?" "Well... he said he would be home tonight and asked me to call him," she said in a slightly irritated voice. I replied, "Well, he went out with Karen about an hour ago, and said that he would be back at 10:00." A shocked voice now: "Who's Karen?!" "The girl he went out with." "I know that! I mean... who is she?" "I don't know her last name. Look, do you want me to leave a message for Ben?" "Yes... please do. Tell him to call me when he gets home." She was sounding pretty irate at this point, and I could hear her temper flaring. "I sure will. Is this Jennifer?" She exploded, "Who's Jennifer?" Apparently she wasn't Jennifer. Good guess though... "Well... he's going out with Jennifer at 10:00. I thought you were her. Sorry... it was an honest mistake." "Ben's the one that's made the mistake! Tell him that Alice called him and that she's very upset and that I would like him to call me as soon as he gets home." I smiled and said, "Okay, I will... are you the one, who got pregnant?" Judging by her howl, she either thought I was hitting a bit too close, or she was getting quite uppset. "That asshole better call me the MINUTE he gets home!" "Okay, I will tell him, but Becky isn't going to like that." *Click*
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Click on the picture for the large version Konjic, Bosnia
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Donald Munoz Oregon man drunk on Mike’s Hard Lemonade crashes his bicycle into cop car Donald Munoz might want to consider real lemonade next time. Cops said he drank three bottles of Mike’s Hard Lemonade and then hopped on his bike. He was busted when he crashed it into a police cruiser in Gresham, Ore., KGW-TV reported. Munoz, 32, blew through a red light at around 1:30 a.m. Thursday, according to the Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office. Dash cam video from the cop car shows the patrol car colliding with the rear wheel of his bike, as he is blowing a red light and crossing in front of the approaching patrol car. The police cruiser barely nudged him and no one was injured. Munoz admitted to being drunk on Mike’s Hard Lemonade, and the officer, whose car he hit, found an open container of the sugary booze on his bike. He was arrested and charged with driving under the influence of intoxicants.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: iMickey Re: Internet Radio Dear Webby, that Mystique screensaver you told us about yesterday is wonderful! To think that it has been hiding just a few clicks away all these years, annoys me! You probably did mention it occasionally, but I didn't pay attention. Another thing I forgot is the Internet radio program, that you mentioned a few times. Can you please mention it again? Thanks iMickey Dear iMickey The one I use is http://accuradio.com Yo can narrow it down to exactly what you like and even ban particular screechers in that narrow band. And when a Skype call or video chat comes through, AccuRadio mutes automatically. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Touchup Paint in Film Canisters Save film canisters and use them to store small amounts of leftover paint for touch-ups. Label each one and store in a handy place. Instead of a label, you can also just paint a part of the film canister lid with the paint for quick reference. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO For those of you, who have never seen a film canister: Once upon a time, long, long ago, before Digital Cameras, cameras used to use film, that came in cute, little pill bottle size plastic or aluminum cans. Nowadays, you can use pill bottles to store small amounts of paint. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Two Cajun commercial fishermen, Boudreaux & Thibodeaux went out in the Gulf of Mexico fishing. They were gone a couple of months. On their return, they noticed a Taco Bell had been built while they were away. Boudreaux turns to Thibodeaux and says "Look at dat, we not gone no time and dem Mexicans done come over here & built their own teliphone company!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An older woman recently returned from her hometown in North Carolina and told a friend they'd spruced up the churchyard cemetery since her last visit several years past. "Lots of new greenery," she said. "And families are together now." "All together?" her friend asked, puzzled. "Well," the first replied, "years ago they never much worried where they buried someone because everyone was a neighbor anyhow. They'd just dig a grave wherever it seemed to balance things. But they've redone it so people are with their children and grandchildren, instead of scattered." The friend was still puzzled. "You mean they exhumed all those people and reburied them?" "Oh my, no," was the reply. "We just shifted the headstones. Everyone agrees it looks ever so much nicer."
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Do you need separate screen savers for dual monitors? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, October 2

>From Ruby:
Loved the list of excuses!  I work in the Emergency Department of a
busy hospital and have heard just about all there is to hear.  One
lady had a pain in her 'angina' after giving a list of about 20 other
things wrong with her.  Another fella, seemed to have caught a part of
his anatomy in a vacuum cleaner hose - how did he get it out??
Another (female) was washing her veggies in the shower - she was in
there with them, nude of course.  She just happened to 'fall' onto a
cucumber and it entered parts of her anatomy not meant to handle an
undigested cucumber.....  People are absolutely crazy!  But that is
what keeps the job interesting...

Love the news letter, find the tips helpful and love the funny stories! 
Ruby

>From Dr Bill
my favorite about hippies is from the days when there a 
dozen or more communes on the Oregon Coast - Our 
Episcopal Priest, a salty chap, dealt with them a great deal 
in the town of Bandon -(best cheese in Oregon) - 
his observation:
"A Hippie is someone who believes that if you lie down 
upon the earth it will support you."

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1187 Sultan Saladin captures Jerusalem from the Crusaders 
1608 Hans Lippershey offers Dutch gov't a new invention, the telescope
1853 Austrian law forbids Jews from owning land
1870 Italy annexes Rome & Papal States; Rome made Italian capital 
1910 1st 2 aircraft collision (Milan Italy) 
1935 Italy invades Abyssinia (Ethiopia)
1936 1st alcohol power plant established, Atchison, Kansas 
1940 British liner Empress loaded with refugees 
   for Canada, sunk 
1941 6 Parisian synagogues are bombed
1942 "Queen Mary" slices cruiser "Curacao" in half, killing 338 
1942 1st self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction demonstrated, Chicago 
1956 1st atomic power clock exhibited-NYC 
1990 Radio Berlin International's final transmission
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbors. --- William Ralph Inge Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. --- H. L. Mencken
It was rush hour, and when the bus finally arrived, it was packed. I tried to force my way on, but no one would budge, although there was ample room in the back. Then the bus driver took over. "Excuse me, Ladies and Gentlemen," he shouted. "For the video, will all the beautiful, smart people please move to the back of the bus, and all the ugly stupid jerks stay up front?" You should have seen the sudden rush! I even got a seat!
Our friends, James and Florence, attend choir practice Wednesday evenings, and often head for a restaurant afterwards with their fellow choir members. Florence soon noticed that every time she had a glass of wine, it was followed by a severe migraine headache. James agreed with her that it might be better if she abstained, and so she did. On one post choir occasion, however, Florence decided, after some hesitation, to order a glass of wine. Some time passed with no untoward consequences. Then she waved happily across the big table where her colleagues all sat and announced in a loud voice, "Hey James! I don't have a headache tonight!"
Back by popular demand!
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Click on the picture for the large version Dudhsagar Falls, India
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Kendra Meaker, 19, Stark County, Illinois (Thanks to The Weekly Vice) Charged With Leaving Three-Week-Old Daughter In Ditch, Reporting Her Kidnapped 12 Hours Later Kendra Meaker, a 19-year-old Illinois woman was jailed Thursday after she allegedly dumped her three-week old daughter in a ditch, drove off, waited 12 hours, then claimed her daughter had been kidnapped. According to the Stark County Sheriff's Office, Meaker reportedly walked into their office Thursday morning and told deputies that her daughter had been kidnapped out of her car while she was mailing a package at the post office. Illinois State Police issued a state-wide Amber Alert for the missing infant, prompting groups of volunteers to begin canvassing the area. While rescue teams were searching, Meaker eventually changed her story and stated that she abandoned the infant in a roadside ditch, drove off and waited 12 hours before she contacted the Sheriff's Office. Russel and Mary Jo Van Dran, a couple who volunteered to join the search party, found the crying baby in a grassy culvert on the side of the road and brought her to emergency workers. The baby, along with Meaker's 11-month-old daughter, are now in the care of relatives. Meaker was booked into jail and charged with obstruction of justice and endangering the life or health of a child. Her bond was set at $100,000.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Irene Re: Separate screensavers for dual monitors? Dear Webby, I used to laugh and snicker at your irate comments about "sawed off monitors" and believed the ads and sales people. What a dumb sucker I was! However, in my line of work I definitely can not cope with sawed off monitors, so I bought a second one of them, turned them upright and put some duck tape behind them to keep them perfectly aligned. The black borders between the monitors are no problem. Just like the dividers on my grandmother's windows, they become practically invisible after a while. Together they are big enough, so that I can do my research on one and do my writing on the other. My question is, if I want to run screensavers, do I need separate ones for each monitor? How do I set them up? Thanks Irene Dear Irene The better screensavers will work across both monitors, as if it was just one big monitor. Don't try the built in "Windows Live Photo gallery" ! It does not work with dual monitors, and might be very difficult to get out of! The built in "Photos" slide show does work, but only on one monitor. The other one will be black. Ribbons and Mystify work properly aross both monitors. Personally, I like Mystify and have used it or screensavers like it since the days of DOS, when I used to create fractals like that. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Vinyl Coupon Sorter for Receipts: I have a vinyl coupon sorter that is divided into categories (Grocery, Target, etc. and family members names and receipts awaiting reimbursement or rebates. By Diana from Prospect, KY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended!
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

On a wall in a men's room ... "My wife follows me everywhere." Written just below it: " I do not!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights w/numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out. The father quietly said to his son, "Go get your Mother."
» Unsolved Mysteries
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Camera for kids 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, October 1

Yesterday's picture was Kalabaka, Greece.
When in doubt, click through to the big picture,
and look at the file name in the browser address bar.

Yesterday's was "Kalabaka-Greece-L.jpg"
The -L is for the Large version. Ignore that and the.jpg.
What is left is Kalabaka-Greece. Replace the - with a 
comma and a space, and you got the correct location name.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
2016 -BC- Origin of Era of Abraham
331 -BC- Alexander the Great of Macedon defeats Persian army 
   at Gaugamela 
1661 Yachting begins in England; King Charles II beats his 
  brother James 
1800 Spain cedes Louisiana to France in a secret treaty 
1869 1st postcards are issued (Vienna) 
1893 3rd worst hurricane in US history kills 1,800 (Mississippi) 
1898 Jews are expelled from Kiev Russia 
1908 Henry Ford introduces the Model T car (costs $825) 
1928 Leon Vanderstuyft of Belgium bicycled 76 miles 504 yards 
   in 1 hour 
1943 Allied forces captured Naples during WW II
1948 Calif Supreme Court voids state statute banning interracial marriages 
1949 People's Republic of China proclaimed by Mao Tse-tung (National Day)
1949 Republic of China (Taiwan) forms on the island of Formosa 
1957 B-52 bombers begin full-time flying alert in case of USSR attack
1958 Inauguration of NASA
1975 Britain grants internal self-government to Seychelles
1978 Tuvalu, .tv, (Ellice Islands) gains independence from Britain
1979 US returns Canal Zone to Panama after 75 years (but not the canal) 
1989 Thousands of East Germans flee to West Germany 
1990 Pres Bush at the UN, condemns Iraq's takeover of Kuwait 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah." --- Ronald Reagan The important thing is not to stop questioning. --- Albert Einstein Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious. --- William Feather
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. "The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $25 the first time." He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $50. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $100. Are there any questions?" At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired: "How much for a season pass?"
Q1: How can a man go eight days without sleep and still be well-rested? Q2: How can you easily determine how much dirt there is in an oblong hole three feet deep at one end and two feet deep at the other end, and four feet wide at one end and two feet wide at the other end?
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Click on the picture for the large version Helix bridge, Singapore
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Charles Cowart, 29, in Bunnell, Florida Drunk On Horse Leads Deputies On Slow Speed Chase Through Town Charles Cowart, a 29-year-old Florida man was jailed Monday after he allegedly tried to flee police on a horse. According to the Flagler County Sheriff's Office, deputies were dispatched after a witness reported seeing an intoxicated man urinate on a lawn before riding off on a horse. Investigators say Cowart road the horse in the middle of U.S. 1 and then along a set a railroad tracks. When deputies ordered Cowart down from the horse, he allegedly stated that he was going to see his grandmother in Flagler and refused to dismount from the horse. Cowart rode the horse through town as neighbors came out of their homes to watch the ordeal. Deputies refrained from using their lights or sirens to avoid scaring the horse. Deputies were forced to stop a southbound train in order to protect safety of both the man and horse. Deputies followed Cowart for about 30 minutes until the horse became tired. That's when he allegedly hopped down from the horse and tried to flee on foot. Cowart was booked into the Flagler County Jail and charged with disorderly conduct, resisting arrest without violence, and cruelty to animals. He is being held in lieu of a $7,000 bond. Apparently riding a horse for half an hour is "cruelty to animals" in Floriduh.
VIP Video Converter is a reliable, user friendly and affordable video converting software. It allows you to convert video files to various key video formats, and lots of audio file formats as well. Under $10 for a lifetime license!

Tech Support Pits: From: Shirley Re: Camera for kids Dear Webby, My grandkids, 6 and 7 years old will be visiting me for a couple or three weeks while my daughter has to go for an operation. I want to buy them digital cameras and teach them the basics of my hobby. What kind of camera would you suggest for complete novices of that age? Not too expensive, preferably. Thanks Shirley Dear Shirley Check out http://pricegrabber.com Ignore the listings under $30, those are usually just slime-balls on eBay trying to con you with a bait-and-switch. Look for cameras sold for reasonable prices and preferably by legitimate dealers. A good example is a Vivitar Strawberry V7028 7.1 MegaPixel for $33, with $7.43 for ground shipping. The preview screen is only 1.5", which seems small compared what YOU and I prefer for our older eyes, but quite huge compared to the little view finders that our first cameras had, and more than big enough for 7 year olds. The case is red metallic, to make the camera easy to find, when a kid misplaces it. Here is the link to that camera: http://www.nextwarehouse.com/item/?1327678_p3g By the way, "Strawberry" is just the nickname for that camera, it looks like any small digital camera, just red metallic. You can safely paint one of them lemon yellow for one of the two grand-kids. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Your Steam Iron: To remove burned on starch from the iron place a towel dampened with vinegar on the ironing board and sprinkle generously with table salt. Set iron on warm dry setting and run over a towel until the stain is removed. By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended!
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND . . These are REAL notes written by PARENTS in a Tennessee school district. (Spellings have been left intact.) 1-- MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CAR AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY. PLEASE EXECUTE HIM. 2-- PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER SHOT. 3-- DEAR SCHOOL: PLEASE ECSC's JOHN BEING ABSENT ON JAN. 28, 29, 30, 31,32 AND ALSO 33. 4-- PLEASE EXCUSE GLORIA FROM JIM TODAY. SHE IS ADMINISTRATING. 5-- PLEASE EXCUSE ROLAND FROM P.E. FOR A FEW DAYS. YESTERDAY HE FELL OUT OF A TREE AND MISPLACED HIS HIP. 6-- JOHN HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS FACE. 7-- CARLOS WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE HE WA S PLAYING FOOTBALL. HE WAS HURT IN THE GROWING PART. 8-- MEGAN COULD NOT COME TO SCHOOL TODAY BECAUSE SHE HAS BEEN BOTHERED BY VERY CLOSE VEINS. 9-- CHRIS WILL NOT BE IN SCHOOL CUS HE HAS AN ACRE IN HIS SIDE. 10-- PLEASE EXCUSE RAY FRIDAY FROM SCHOOL. HE HAS VERY LOOSE VOWELS. 11-- PLEASE EXCUSE PEDRO FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD (DIAHRE, DYREA, DIREATHE), THE SHITS. NOTE: [WORDS IN ( )'s WERE CROSSED OUT]. 12-- PLEASE EXCUSE TOMMY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD DIARRHEA, AND HIS BOOTS LEAK. 13-- ELLIE WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE SHE MISSED HER BUST. 14-- PLEASE EXCUSE JIMMY FOR BEING. IT WAS HIS FATHER'S FAULT. 15-- I KEPT BILLIE HOME BECAUSE SHE HAD TO GO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT SIZE SHE WEAR. 16-- PLEASE EXCUSE JENNIFER FOR MISSING SCHOOL YESTERDAY. WE FORGOT TO GET THE SUNDAY PAPER OFF THE PORCH, AND WHEN WE FOUND IT MONDAY WE THOUGHT IT WAS SUNDAY. 17-- SALLY WON'T BE IN SCHOOL A WEEK FROM FRIDAY. WE HAVE TO ATTEND HER FUNERAL. 18-- MY DAUGHTER WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY BECAUSE SHE WAS TIRED. SHE SPENT A WEEKEND WITH THE MARINES. 19-- PLEASE EXCUSE JASON FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD A COLD AND COULD NOT BREED WELL. 20-- PLEASE EXCUSE MARY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE WAS IN BED WITH GRAMPS. 21-- GLORIA WAS ABSENT YESTERDAY AS SHE WAS HAVING A GANGOVER. 22-- PLEASE EXCUSE BRENDA. SHE HAS BEEN SICK AND UNDER THE DOCTOR. 23-- MARY WAS ABSENT DECEMBER 11-16, BECAUSE SHE HAD FEVER, SORE SROAT, HEADACHE AND UPSET STOMACH. HER SISTER WAS ALSO SICK, FEVER AND SORE THROAT, HER BROTHER HAD A LOW GRADE FEVER AND ACHED ALL OVER. I WASN'T THE BEST EITHER, SORE THROAT AND FEVER. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING GOING AROUND, HER FATHER EVEN GOT HOT LAST NIGHT.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Answer to Q1: He sleeps at night Answer to Q2: There is no dirt in a hole
http://tinyurl.com/2zuvut"> src="http://webby.com/humor/Diannes.jpg" align="left">» Vintage IBM PC
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Windows Trojan 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, September 30

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1452 1st printed book published, Johann Guttenberg's Bible 
1630 1st execution in America-J Billington hanged in Plymouth, MA 
1659 Peter Stuyvesant of New Netherlands forbids tennis playing 
   during religious services 
1791 Mozart's opera "The Magic Flute" premiers in Vienna
1846 Anesthetic ether used for 1st time (Dr Morton extracts a tooth) 
1857 US occupies Sand, Baker, Howland & Jarvis Islands. 
       south of Hawaii
1867 Midway Islands formally declared a US possession 
1880 Henry Draper takes 1st photo of the Orion Nebula 
1895 France proclaims a protectorate over Madagascar
1898 City of NY established 
1928 Leon Vanderstuyft of Belgium cycles record 76 mi 604 yds in 1 hr
1929 1st manned rocket plane flight (by auto maker Fritz von Opel) 
1939 Germany & Russia agree to partition Poland
1941 3,721 Jews are buried alive at Babi Yar ravine (near Kiev) Ukraine
1946 22 Nazi leaders found guilty of war crimes at Nuremberg 
  and hanged
1949 Berlin Airlift ends after 277,000 flights 
1954 1st atomic-powered vessel, submarine Nautilus launched
1967 USSR's Kosmos 186 & 188 complete the 1st automatic docking
1968 1st Boeing 747 rolls out 
1991 Haitian President Jean-Bertand Aristide is ousted
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. --- Ambrose Bierce
The first thing I did after being hired as the director of learning technology at the high school was to change the sign outside my door -- the one that had my name followed by the acronym D.O.L.T.
"I'm diabetic, and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today" the anxious woman told the nurse over the phone. "Are you lightheaded" the nurse asked. "No" the caller replied. "I'm a Brunette"
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Click on the picture for the large version That is CC, one of Dianne's two cats, sitting on one of the Cat-Mats, that she crochets.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Darcee Baney, 27, in Rockford, Ill. Charged With Having Ongoing Sexual Relationship With Female Student Darcee Baney, a 27-year-old teacher at Harlem Middle School has been jailed after she allegedly had an ongoing sexual relationship with a female student. According to Rockford Police, an investigation was launched in August when police were informed she had allegedly engaged in a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old student. Investigators say Baney began a sexual relationship with the student on November 1, 2008. The alleged relationship continued until March 31, 2009. At the time of the alleged relationship, Baney was a varsity basketball coach at Belvidere High School. Baney has been placed on PAID administrative leave, according to Harlem Schools Superintendent Julie Morris. She was booked into jail and charged with five counts of aggravated sexual abuse and five counts of criminal sexual abuse. She was released after posting 10% of a 10,000 bond.
Tech Support Pits: From: Chris Re: Win32.Trojan Dear Webby, Good morning and I hope this finds you and yours well. After running my SpyPro this morning there was at the bottom of my list of things<14 of them> an entry for Win32.Trojan. Is this something I should have or not deleted? This is day 2 of finding one of the little gremlins on my computer. I'm very careful which mails I open, and do these just come in mail or can they be picked up just anywhere? I had ran a virus check just prior of the SpyPro and nothing came up in my computer scan. Have a great day and thanks again for the jokes and the internet help. Chris Dear Chris If I checked out SpyPro and all the thousands of Spybot-Search&Destroy and McAfee wanna-bees and clones, I would not have time for anything and would turn into a gruffy old curmudgeon. I stick to McAfee and Spybot-Search&Destroy and live a (technically) very sheltered life. I know that McAfee would never let anything as dangerous as win32.Trojan through and into my computer. So I don't worry about it. About all I can do is recommend that you dump the duct taped mopeds, and get a proper dump truck. With that Trojan on your computer, you don't have to click on bad stuff. It will haul it in in the background all on it's own. You are basically renting your machine out to some hackers. If you are interested in what that Trojan does, here is the info: http://us.mcafee.com/virusInfo/default. ... us_k=98757 What other mischief have you been up to ? Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Your Steam Iron: To remove burned on starch from the iron place a towel dampened with vinegar on the ironing board and sprinkle generously with table salt. Set iron on warm dry setting and run over a towel until the stain is removed. Clean gunk off the surface of an iron by polishing gently with 0000 grade steel wool. Don't try this with a non-stick iron. If iron surface is dull, polish with Pearl Drops or other toothpaste. To clean mineral deposits from a steam iron, fill it with a mixture of equal parts water and white vinegar. Allow it to steam for several minutes, disconnect, and let stand for an hour. Empty the reservoir, rinse well, and repeat if necessary. By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Doug and Bill were at the racetrack. Doug says, "You know, if you win $600 on a race, the track tells the government." Bill says, "Well it could be worse." Doug replies, "What could be worse than telling the government you won $600?" Bill sighs, "Telling your wife."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Mr. Jones patted his daughter's hand fondly, and told her, "Your boyfriend came to me today, and told me that he wants to marry you, and I gave my consent." Oh, Daddy, I'm so happy...." gushed his daughter, "but it's going to be so hard to leave mother after we're married." "I understand perfectly, my dear," beamed her dad. "You can take her with you."
» Something Fishy Here


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Should I delete obsolete drivers? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, September 29

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1349 People of Krems Austria accuse Jews of poisoning the wells 
1364 Battle of Auray, English forces defeat French at Brittany 
1853 Emigrant ship "Annie Jane" sinks off Scotland, drowning 348
1892 1st night football game played (Mansfield, Penn) 
1907 Construction begins on Washington National Cathedral
1944 Soviet troops invade Yugoslavia 
1990 Washington National Cathedral construction is completed 
after 83 years 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. --- W. Somerset Maugham Some people have so much respect for their superiors they have none left for themselves. --- Peter McArthur
An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. He then pulls a small green-skinned man out of his pocket and puts him on the counter. As he's drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had a few too many drinks says, "Hey Paddy!, what's that little green thing you've got down there?" The little green man runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a raspberry, "SPLBLBLBLT!," right in the face and then runs back to the Irishman. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, "Hey Paddy!, what is that thing, anyway?" The Irishman replies, "Have some respect. He's a leprechaun." "A leprechaun!" says the Englishman laughing, "Boy, I never knew leprechauns were so ugly!" The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a raspberry again- SPLBLBLBLBT! This time the Englishman is really mad! "Tell that leprechaun that if he does that again I'll cut his pecker off!" he shouts. "You can't do that" says the Irishman. "Leprechauns don't have peckers." "How do they pee, then?" asks the Englishman. "They don't," says the Irishman. "They go SPLBLBLBLBT!"
There were three country churches in a small Texas town: Presbyterian, Methodist and Catholic. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels. One day, the Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will. The Methodist group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creations. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back. It was only the Catholics who were able to come up with the best and most effective solution: They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they see them only on Christmas and Easter.
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Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version That is CC, one of Dianne's two cats, sitting on one of the Cat-Mats, that she crochets.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Warren Thomas Michael III, 23, Fleming Island, Florida Jailed For DUI After Squirrel Gets Revenge Warren Thomas Michael III, a 23-year-old Fleming Island man was jailed for DUI Saturday after he was attacked by a pet squirrel. According to the Clay County Sheriff's Office, deputies were dispatched after a witness reported that a man in a silver pick-up truck "with one headlight out" was driving erratically. A deputy caught up with the vehicle and watched as the driver, identified as Michael, nearly crashed head-on with another vehicle traveling the opposite direction. When the deputy pulled Michael over and approached the vehicle, Michael stated that he was driving erratically because a squirrel "was eating him." That's when Michael allegedly revealed a pet squirrel inside his shirt that had apparently bitten him several times. The deputy, however, still smelled a strong odor of alcohol and administered several field sobriety tests, which Michael failed. He later registered a .156 blood-alcohol level, nearly twice the state's legal limit. Michael was booked into the Clay County Jail and charged with driving a vehicle under the influence of alcoholic beverages and/or a controlled substance. He was alter released to his girlfriend. There is no mention in the report about what happened to the blood testing squirrel, or is that alcoholic blood tasting squirrel?
Tech Support Pits: From: Sophie Re: Remove old drivers ? Dear Webby I bought the mouse that you recommended and I'm VERY happy with it. However, I have a question. I didn't UN-install the driver for the old mouse. Is that going to cause grief some day? Thanks Sophie Dear Sophie Unused drivers are like last weeks horoscope: Not looked at any more. Windows only looks at the driver for the currently active mouse. Old mouse drivers are totally ignored. However, since they do take up space, I recommend to un-install no longer used drivers. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Avoid Cleaning Chemicals With Microfiber: I just purchased microfiber towels and a microfiber mop from QVC.com and I love them. You use the towels to clean almost anything without chemicals. Use them slightly wet to clean countertops, your stove, the bathroom sink, etc. I have never been able to get the shower glass to look clean. This works great, I just follow the wet towel with a dry one. Same with windows. NO chemicals. The mop came with a dust mop and a wet mop. You wet mop, with no chemicals and it drys fast! I love them and no wasting paper towels to clean with, and when you are through just throw in the washing machine. Source: QVC.com. I have used Microfiber cloths for about 15 years. Some words of caution: Dry them on the line, not in a dryer, or you will ruin them. After drying them in a dryer, especially with a bounce sheet in it, they are just an ordinary rag. Avoid bleach in the washing machine. It damages the micro fibers. Mild soap or dish soap works best. I use a small microfiber cloth to catch all the drops on me after a shower, and then use the regular towel just to invigorate the skin. Microfiber cloth also works as an excellent spot and stain remover if somebody has a piza or pasta sauce accident. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

>From Ed A favorite trick at night is to pretend we're still asleep when one of our kids wakes up in the middle of the night demanding our attention. "Erik, he's calling you." (Silence) "Hey wake up. Our son is calling for you." (More Silence) "Erik, I know you're awake. Your breathing changed, and you quit snoring." "*Sigh* Then why can't you go see what he wants? "Because he's calling for you. Besides, I'm still asleep." At three in the morning, I can't argue with logic like this
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
>From Bob A young man was sitting next to me in one of the two "husband chairs" in a ladies' clothing store. After 30 minutes and five outfits, the fellow's wife came out of the changing room again. He looked at her and immediately said: "That looks good on you. Get that one." "Honey," she replied, "this is what I was wearing when we came in."
» Wooly Bully


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Is a 3 Terabyte hard drive a good deal? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, September 28
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


Thanks Dr Bill!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1066 William the Conqueror lands in England
1858 Donati's comet becomes the 1st to be photographed
1879 Sydney Australia innaugurates steam motor tram route
1906 US troops reoccupy Cuba, stay until 1909
1912 "Kiche Maru" sinks off Japan, killing 1,000 
1914 German forces move into Antwerp Belgium (WW I) 
1922 Mussolini marches on Rome 
1923 Yanks slaughter Red Sox 24-4
1939 Soviet-German treaty agree on 4th partition of Poland
    (WW II) & gives Lithuania to the USSR
1961 Syria withdraws from United Arab Republic 
1972 Japan & Communist China agree to re-establish diplomatic relations
1978 Israeli Knesset endorses Camp David accord 
1986 Record 23,000 start in a marathon (Mexico City) 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

A good listener is usually thinking about something else. --- Kin Hubbard Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It's called 'rain'. --- Michael McClary 'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds. --- Malaclypse the Younger Love is like an hourglass with the heart filling up as the brain empties. --- Socratex
>From Mark Kegerator Calculate your party requirements instantly!
Oliver Wendell Holmes once attended a meeting in which he was the shortest man present. "Dr. Holmes," quipped a friend, "I should think you'd feel rather small among us big fellows." "I do," retorted Holmes. "I feel like a dime among a lot of pennies."
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Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Tina Sandlin, 35, Southport, Florida Jailed After Cutting Off Pet Rabbit's Head In Front Of Two Horrified Children Tina Sandlin, a 35-year-old Florida woman was jailed Tuesday after she allegedly cut off the head of a family's pet rabbit in front of two horrified children. According to the Bay County Sheriff's Office, Sandlin called two children out of their bedrooms on July 15, held their pet rabbit by its ears and then used a knife to cut off the animal's head while the children watched. Investigators say the children were so upset, it took a while for them to share with their father what had happened. Deputies were sent to a Southport residence on Tuesday to question Sandlin, however she was hiding under a mobile home on Newman Point Road when they arrived. Sandlin was eventually drug out from under the mobile home and taken into custody. Sandlin (who also goes by Tina Byng) was booked into the Bay County Jail and charged with two counts of child abuse/affliction of mental cruelty, felony cruelty to animals and resisting an officer without violence. Sandlin was also apprehended on a warrant for an unrelated DUI case. ------------ Considering those eyes, it is very surprising, that they did not search under that trailer for narcotics and paraphenalia.
Tech Support Pits: From: Mark Re: 3 TB hard drive Dear Webby Tiger has a 3 TeraByte hard drive for $120. That seems almost too good a deal. That is barelo more than what Walmart charges for a 1 TB drive. Is it a good deal? Mark Dear Mark That depends on what you want it for. As a back-up or archive drive it is an excellent deal. However, as an active drive it is a big nuisance. Imagine how long a virus scan or defrag will take on a 3 Terabyte drive! Especially with Windows 7, which slows to a crawl during defrag, you would be doing a lot of cussing. For best results keep the C: drive small, reserved for just the Operating System. Put all your programs onto the E: drive, and data that you produce or receive onto the F: drive. Archive and Back-Up should be on the G: drive, which is unplugged except when you actually back up onto it. With Windows7 every little trick helps, and sound drive management like that makes a huge difference. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Avoid Cleaning Chemicals With Microfiber: I just purchased microfiber towels and a microfiber mop from QVC.com and I love them. You use the towels to clean almost anything without chemicals. Use them slightly wet to clean countertops, your stove, the bathroom sink, etc. I have never been able to get the shower glass to look clean. This works great, I just follow the wet towel with a dry one. Same with windows. NO chemicals. The mop came with a dust mop and a wet mop. You wet mop, with no chemicals and it drys fast! I love them and no wasting paper towels to clean with, and when you are through just throw in the washing machine. Source: QVC.com. I have used Microfiber cloths for about 15 years. Some words of caution: Dry them on the line, not in a dryer, or you will ruin them. After drying them in a dryer, especially with a bounce sheet in it, they are just an ordinary rag. Avoid bleach in the washing machine. It damages the micro fibers. Mild soap or dish soap works best. I use a small microfiber cloth to catch all the drops on me after a shower, and then use the regular towel just to invigorate the skin. Microfiber cloth also works as an excellent spot and stain remover if somebody has a piza or pasta sauce accident. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

>Thanks to Sandie for this one: You Don't have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned, on a night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the back yard scooted back into the house. They didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty for the night. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother." A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a mop to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I managed to haul the fat ninny downstairs and throw her out into the back yard!" The cab driver hit a parked car.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago. "Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" Arnold asked. "Not very likely," his wife said. "It's worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing the ticket. He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the store. With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a minute. I'll have to look for these." He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop. Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!" "No kidding?" Arnold called back. "That's terrific! Who would have thought they'd still be here after all this time." The man came back to the counter, empty-handed. "They'll be ready Thursday," he said calmly.
» BullsEye


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Sign in automatically 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, September 27

Beautiful full moon out there, and not too cold yet.
There will be frost by morning, but I won't have to walk
anywhere in the morning.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1290 Earthquake in Gulf of Chili China, reportedly kills 100,000 
1821 Mexican Empire declares its independence
1825 Railroad transportation is born with 1st track in England
1854 Steamship Arctic sank with 300 people aboard 
1939 Warsaw, Poland, surrenders to Germans
1941 1st WW II liberty ship, freighter Patrick Henry, launched 
1953 Typhoon destroys 1/3 of Nagoya Japan
1959 Typhoon Vera, hits Japanese island of Honshu, kills 5,000
1962 US sells Hawk anti-aircraft missiles to Israel
1963 At 10:59 AM US population reaches 190,000,000 
1988 Grand jury evidence shows Tawana Brawley 
    fabricated rape story 
1988 Lab tests reportedly show Shroud of Turin 
   not Christ`s burial cloth 
1991 Pres Bush decides to end full-time B-52 bombers alert 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Once I worked as an operator on an old IBM 370/Model 138 mainframe at a local college. My position had been reclassified to fall into a new area outside of the IT staff. One day, my new supervisor entered the room and stared at the air conditioning unit directly behind me. He studied the two flashing lights for a few moments and asked what job it was currently processing. I killed my career by not making up a story and simply replying, "Actually, sir, it's cooling the room. The computer is over there."
>From Lillemor ----The Hospital's Fault, typical California. A woman has sued her local hospital, saying that after her husband was treated there recently, he has lost all interest in sex. A hospital spokesman replied – “The man was admitted in Ophthalmology -- all we did was correct his eyesight.”
Minister at a funeral service, "Friends, let us say goodbye to our beloved, departed friend. Let us remember that here lies only the shell--the nut has gone!"
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Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Morro bay by Jean Orantes Klima
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Christy Wilson, 34, in Somerset, KY Teacher's Aide - Pleads Guilty To Having Sexual Relationship With 14-Year-Old Student Christy Wilson, a 34-year-old teacher's aide at Southern Middle School will soon face sentencing after she pleaded guilty to raping a 14-year-old student. A Pulaski County grand jury indicted Wilson on four counts of rape back in July, however the jury will not be hearing the case after Wilson pleaded guilty to 3rd degree rape as part of a plea agreement with prosecutors. According to police, Wilson began a sexual relationship with a 14-year-old student who attended the same school. The relationship reportedly continued for three years until the victim's family learned about the relationship and contacted Kentucky State Police. "We think probation should not be granted," stated Assistant Commonwealth Attorney, Jeremy Bartley. "She's not eligible and second, she doesn't deserve to be on probation." Wilson has been placed on house arrest during the course of her court proceedings and has been scheduled to appear in court on November 16 for sentencing.
Tech Support Pits: From: Beverly Re: Stay signed on I look upon you a a great guru of computer wisdom. Please help me resolve this issue. When I sign on to places online that I go to everyday and check the box that says " Keep me signed in on this computer" or something similar, it doesn't do it. I have to enter my screen name and password every time. Is there a setting I can change to fix this? My husband and I are the only ones who use this PC so privacy is not an issue. Thanks! Beverly Dear Beverly When you shut down that computer, Internet Explorer often forgets. FirFox seems to remember. You can use RoboForm to fill in that kind of stuff and any form, that you use often. http://www.webby.com/robo That is free, and goes straight to the download file. Or, if you are worried I might make 4.8 cents per 1000 clicks, you can go to http://roboform.com and try to avoid all the other stuff they try to trap you into downloading. Roboform itself is quite legit and used by Millions of people. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Shelf Liner for Wobbly Sewing Machine: Another use for rubber shelf liner is to place a scrap piece under your sewing machine. This is handy and keeps my sewing machine from moving while I'm using it. By duckie-do from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Sarah was reading a newspaper while her husband was engrossed in a game on TV. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this, there's a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season tickets." "Hmmm," her husband said, not bothering to look away from the game. Sarah said teasingly, "Would you swap me for season tickets?" "Absolutely not," he said, "season's more than half over."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Safety is a major concern at the manufacturing company where I work. So I'm constantly preaching caution to the workers I supervise. "Does anyone know," I asked a few guys, "what the speed limit is in our parking lot?" The long silence that followed was interrupted when one of them piped up. "That depends. Do you mean coming in to work or leaving?"
» Bull Moose


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What to do when Windows Explorer causes problems? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, September 26

Ella, if you want to subscribe, you need a better address,
(reason: 550 5.1.1 : Recipient address rejected: aol.com)

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1687 Parthenon destroyed in war between Turks & Venetians
1777 British troops occupy Philadelphia during the American Revolution
1918 Meuse-Argonne offensive against Germany began during WW I
1950 Because of forest fire in BC, blue moon appears in England 
1950 UN troops in Korean War recaptured South Korean capital of Seoul 
1954 Typhoon strikes Kakodate Bay Japan, killing over 1,600
1960 Longest speech in UN history (4 hrs, 29 mins, by Fidel Castro) 
1962 Yemen Arab Republic proclaimed
1973 Concorde flies from Washington DC to Paris in 3h33m 
1980 Cuban govt closes Mariel Harbor ending "freedom flotilla" 
1984 Britain & China initial agreement return Hong Kong to China in 1997
1991 2 year experimental Biosphere 2 in Oracle Arizona begins
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract. --- Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know. --- W. H. Auden
A European cruise ship captain has to convince the passengers of his sinking ship to jump overboard and wade to the shore. He has to use a different approach with each European. He tells the English it would be unsporting of them not to jump. He tells the French it would be the smart thing to do. He tells the Germans that it is an order. And he tells the Italians that jumping overboard is forbidden.
Lola is on the phone, "Hello? Pizza Shack? Do you have anything on special?" From the other end of the line comes, "Yeah, our veggie haters delight. It has twelve kinds of meat and five different cheeses. Lola asks, "Does anything come with that?" "A coupon for WeightWatchers."
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Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Abby Elsner, 25, in Dayton, Ohio Motorist, 25, Busted After Cop Spots Her Shooting Heroin While Driving An Ohio woman was arrested Friday for DWI -- driving while injecting. A Dayton Police Department officer was driving Friday afternoon when he pulled up next to a vehicle being driven by 25-year-old Abby Elsner. As detailed in a police report, the cop noticed that Elsner-- who had her arms in the air--was sticking herself with a needle. While doing this, she was steering the 2003 Honda Civic with her knees. “I observed she was holding her right forearm in plain view where there was a hypodermic syringe needle sticking out of her arm,” reported Officer Mark Orick. “With her left hand, she was manipulating the needle into her forearm.” Upon realizing that Orick was watching her shoot up, Elsner allegedly removed the needle from her arm and tossed it towards her passenger, 36-year-old Shawn Abby (after pulling the car over, the cop spotted Abby stashing the needle in her waistband). When a subsequent search of the car turned up heroin and drug paraphernalia, Elsner and Abby were arrested for narcotics possession. Pictured in the above mug shot, Elsner is currently being held in the Montgomery County lockup in connection with the September 21 drive-by shooting.
Tech Support Pits: From: Christy Re: What to do when Windows Explorer malfunctions? Dear Webby Every now and then everything on my computer slows down. The little Memory and processor gauges show that everything is maxed out and in the red. Task manager shows that Windows Explorer is hogging way too much memory, even though I have NO Windoes Explorer window open. Closing Windows Explorer via the Task Manager is disastrous, it shuts down the desktop. Kinda schdooopid. The only way to get out of that is to lean on the power button until the machine shuts down. Without saving anything. Is there a better way to cope with that problem in W7 ? Thanks Christy Dear Christy About the only way around that old problem is to save everything, close every program and reboot at the first sign of that slow-down. Adding more RAM apparently does not help. Just shut down properly, after saving and closing everything, and reboot. By the way, try not to do a defrag or a virus scan while you are working, like you used to do with XP. W7 is not as sturdy and tends to go haywire, when you do that. Close all programs and then start a scan or defrag before you go to bed. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Box Building Blocks: When some of us were young we played with "brick' blocks that were made of cardboard. They were large, sturdy, and stack-able and took a lot of abuse. The boxes from juice pouches that are popular now, such as Capri-Sun are just the same size and about as strong. Stuff them with news paper, tape them tightly shut, cover them with what you choose. I have used cloth, brick patterned contact paper, tissue paper and glue - you name it! They are a great frugal replacement for the hard to find, expensive, real thing. By Margaret from Cullowhee NC Once the kids are older, they need smaller and more versatile blocks. Cut regular corrugated cardboard into 1" wide strips, preferably with a paper cutter. Cut the strips into 1", 2", 4", 8" and 16" pieces, but mostly the short sizes. When you got a big pile, make some glue with flour and water. Wheat is fine, but not whole wheat. That makes a lumpy glue. Glue the strips together to make 1" high bricks. There is no need to press them hard, just enough, so that if the cardboard got too wet it does not curl up. Flour glue is quite sticky and in this application just as strong as storebought white glue. Except for the 16" "ceiling beams", these bricks will usually last for one kid. If they are supposed to be a hand-me-down heirloom for a succession of kids, add some color pigment to clear spar or floor varnish and briefly dip the blocks into it. Thread some dental floss through a corrugation hole on each block, so that you can hang them up in the wind after dipping. Do the dipping outside, while wearing disposable gloves. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Jesse Jackson, while visiting a primary school class, found himself in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the Rev Jackson if he would like to lead the discussion on the word "tragedy." So the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy.? "No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an accident." A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 c hildren drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." "I'm afraid not," explains the exalted spiritual leader. "That's what we would call a great loss." The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. Rev. Jackson searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally at the back of the room raises a hand. In a quiet voice says: "If a plane carrying the Rev. Jackson were struck by lightning and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy." "Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?" "Well," says the boy, "because it sure as heck wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"What happened to you?" asked the bystander to the man lying on the sidewalk outside of the beauty parlor. The man shook his head groggily and rubbed his bruised chin. "Last thing I remember was my wife came out of the beauty salon. I took a look at her and said, 'Well, honey, at least you tried,' and then the lights went out . . . "
» Bullfrogs


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Does McAfee speed up a computer? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, September 25

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1493 Columbus sails on 2nd voyage to America
1639 1st printing press in America 
1861 Secretary of US Navy authorizes enlistment of slaves 
1890 Congress establishes Yosemite National Park (Calif) 
1926 Henry Ford announces the 8 hour, 5-day work week 
1956 1st transatlantic telephone cable goes into operation 
1973 3-man crew of Skylab II make safe splashdown in 
   Pacific after 59 days 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes. --- Henry David Thoreau, Walden To avoid situations in which you might make mistakes may be the biggest mistake of all. --- Peter McWilliams The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. --- Paul Valery
While I was working in the men's section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband. When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped. I asked here how his size compared to mine. Her face brightened. She put her hands around my neck, as if she was going to strangle me, and then told me: "His neck is about an inch scrawnier than yours."
Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check." "Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot!" "I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!" When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Awww, shut up, you stupid bird!" To which the parrot replied, "Get him, Spike"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Kelly Gibbs Jailed After Motorist Finds Toddler Wandering Naked In Street, Mom's House Filled With Empty Alcohol Bottles Kelly Gibbs, a 41-year-old Florida woman was jailed Saturday after her 3-year-old son was found was found wandering naked in the street, however she didn't realize that the child was even missing even though several hours had passed. According to New Port Richey police, officers were dispatched at around 12:30 p.m. after a motorist found a naked child walking in the street and called 911. Investigators say the motorist stayed with the child until help arrived. New Port Richey police officers, along with deputies with the Pasco County Sheriff's Office, canvased the surrounding neighborhoods in an attempt to locate the child's residence. Officers used a K-9 unit to track the boy's path back to an apartment complex where his mother resides. During the search, a resident at the apartment complex recognized the boy and told officers where they could find his mother. When officers arrived at Gibbs apartment, she was unaware that the child had gone missing. Officers noted that the residence was unkempt and full of empty alcoholic beverage bottles. When officers attempted to handcuff Gibbs, she pushed an officer away and resisted arrest. She was eventually taken into custody without further incident. Gibbs was booked into the Pasco County Jail and charged with child neglect and resisting arrest without violence. She was released two hours later after posting an $1,100 bond. Gibbs was previously arrested in May 2010 on a charge of domestic battery.
Tech Support Pits: From: Ron Re: Is McAfee for life? Hi Webby do I have to purchase McAfee every year or is it a one time purchase? I really need something to speed up my computer it is dragging really bad lately will this help to gain some speed back? Dear Ron McAfee is about $30 a year, if you use my link. McAfee at discount Two to three times more if you buy it by other methods. McAfee will get rid of all malware. That brings you to a level playing field without any burned out cars in the way. Then run CrapCleaner to reclaim RAM,that was used and not returned. Finally, after that, when you have probably regained half of the sped, that your machine had on Day 1, get SmartFix That will take c are of the registry and the defragging, and a few other things. W7 is slow enough as it is, and there is no point in handicapping it on top of that. Just consider McAfee and SmartFix as part of the cost of being online. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sponge Eyeshadow Applicator for Cleaning Keyboard: I have found the best item for cleaning around keys on the computer. A clean, sponge eyeshadow applicator. I always have extras of these (I use brushes instead). I like them because they hold up much better than Q tips, and they can get into the little crevices. I dampen mine a tad and boy it really gets the crud up! When you are done, you can almost roll the fuzzies off of the applicator and it can be reused. By Joynchocolate I don't use the eye shadow or the keyboard on laptops, and always use an external keyboard. To clean those, I first slam it upside down on the porch railing, and then vacuum it out. After that, I use a big, soft sponge dipped into soapy dish-water, and squeezed just enough, so that it does not drip on the floor on the way out to the porch, and rub the still upside down keyboard from underneath. Sponge, not foam rubber! Then I let it air-dry for five minutes. That is all they really need to be as clean as freshly washed dishes. If you don't have a sponge, use a soft, fuzzy face cloth. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Please send that Spell checker poem again Lorna Here it is SPELL CHECQUER Eye halve a spelling chequer It came with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the error rite Its rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it I am shore your pleased two no Its letter perfect awl the weigh My chequer tolled me sew.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The social studies teacher had just finished a unit on war and peace. "How many of you," he asked, "would say you're opposed to war?" Not surprisingly, all hands went up. The teacher asked, "Who'll give us the reason for being opposed to war?" A large, bored-looking boy in the back of the room raised his hand. "Johnny?" the teacher said. "I hate war," Johnny said, "because wars make history, and I hate History!"
» Bulldogs


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What to do when IE stops working? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, September 24

Dianne's link today is to the Munich Octoberfest.
It always amazes me how the breweries in Munich can assemble
bigger mobs, that yell and chant the same phrases, than any
mid-east trouble-makers can.

It is definitely religious, a LOT of people religiously attend 
Octoberfest every year. 

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
673 Synod of Hertford opens; canons made for English Church
787 2nd Council of Nicaea (7th ecumenical council) opens in Asia Minor
1493 Columbus' 2nd expedition to the New World 
1683 Jews are expelled from all French possessions in America
1838 Anti-Corn-Law League forms to repeal English Corn Law
1852 A new invention, the dirigible, is demonstrated 
1950 "Operation Magic Carpet"-All Jews from Yemen move to Israel
1952 Underwater volcano explodes under research vessel Kaiyo-maru-5 
1958 1st welded aluminum girder highway bridge completed, Urbandale, Ia
1960 1st nuclear-powered aircraft carrier, launches (USS Enterprise) 
1963 Senate ratifies treaty with Britain & USSR limit nuclear testing 
1979 CompuServe system started 
1982 US, Italian & French peacekeeping troops begin arriving in Lebanon
1990 Supreme Soviet gives approval to switch to free market 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver." --- George Carlin
Jack's mother ran into the bedroom when she heard him scream and found his two-year old sister pulling his hair. She gently released the little girl's grip and said comfortingly to Jack, "There, there. She didn't mean it. She doesn't know that hurts." She was barely out of the room when the little girl screamed. Rushing back in, she asked, "What happened?" "She knows now," Jack replied.
While enjoying an early morning breakfast in a northern Arizona cafe, four elderly ranchers were discussing everything from cattle, horses, and weather to how things used to be in the "good old days." Eventually the conversation moved on to their spouses. One gentleman turned to the fellow on his right and asked, "Roy, aren't you and your bride celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary soon?" "Yup, we sure are," Roy replied. "Well, are you gonna do anything special to celebrate?" another man asked. The old gentleman pondered this for a moment, then replied, "Weall, for our 25th anniversary, I took the missus down to Tucson. For our 50th, I'm thinking about going down there again and maybe bring her back for a spell."
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Click on the picture for the large version Zaragoza, Aragon, Spain
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Pamela Smallis, 49, Moon TWP, PA Former Daycare Teacher - Charged With Child Pornography, Using Children To Sell Drugs Pamela Smallis, a 49-year-old Pennsylvania woman was jailed Sunday after police allegedly found child pornography on her cell phone. According to Moon Township police, Smallis was initially arrested on drug charges back in April after a lengthy investigation that involved Moon Township police and the state Attorney General's Office. During the operation, investigators seized Smallis' cell phone which was later found to contain 33 photographs and 2 videos showing naked children engaged in sexual activity. Investigators say Smallis can be heard directing the children as she video-taped them in various sexual acts. In one video, Smallis allegedly recorded two young girls and a young boy during a sexually explicit shower scene. Smallis, who previously operated a day care center, was booked into the Allegheny County Jail and charged with 16 counts of unlawful contact with a minor, five counts of sexual exploitation of children and five counts of child endangerment. Her bond has been set at $50,000. She will also face at least 15 drug charges stemming from an undercover operation in which she and her children allegedly sold drugs to undercover informants on five separate occasions between Nov. 14, 2011 and Dec. 16, 2011. A preliminary court hearing on the case has been set for September 25.
Tech Support Pits: From: Mary Lou Re: IE stops working Dear Webby My Internet Explorer keeps popping up saying "Your Internet Explorer has stopped working." I need this web site to send emails, read emails, play favorite games, etc...in fact for everything I do on my computer.Internet Explorer is my default site,which is to open everything. Any suggestions as to what I can do to get it up and running again? Thanks, Mary Lou Dear Mary Lou That is fairly common and the easiest remedy for that is to upgrade to FireFox. http://www.mozilla.org/en-US/ Millions of people have done that, and as far as i know, nobody has ever gone back to Internet Explorer. The alternative to that is to re-install windows and hope, that would fix Internet Explorer. Running a good Anti-Virus program like McAfee is always a good idea. It won't fix Internet Explorer, but it might prevent similar damage to other programs. By the way, you still get the big discount when you use this McAfee link. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Paper Packaging for Covering Your Workbench: I save the large (25 and 50 pound) heavy craft paper bags that wild bird seed comes in. I cut along the top and bottom of the stitching and slit one side then fold and store them on my work bench. These make wonderful heavy disposable work surface covers to protect your workbench for your current project. I also use them when spray painting, stripping furniture etc as they catch all the overspray and drips. When your finished, you just fold them up and put them in the trash. By MaryCrane from Orange Park, FL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Thanks to Svend for this story: The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied. "Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?" "Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.' "
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking. "Next question," announced the instructor. "How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?" I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, "How do you spell 'intellectual?'"
» Octoberfest, Munich Germany


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No question! 




Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, September 23

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1806 Lewis & Clark return to St Louis from the 
   Pacific Northwest 
1879 Baldwin steam motors tram 1st tried in Sydney Australia
1908 University of Alberta opens
1978 100,000 cheering Egyptians welcome Sadat home 
    from Camp David summit 
1979 200,000 attend anti-nuke rally in Battery Park, NYC
1990 Saddam says he will destroy Israel 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations. --- Walter Bagehot, "Biographical Studies", 1863 When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it. --- Bernard Bailey
>From Faye One of my husband's duties as a novice drill instructor at Fort Jackson, S.C., was to escort new recruits to the mess hall. After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them, "There are three rules in this mess hall: Shut up! Eat up! Get up!" Checking to see that he had everyone's attention, he asked, "What is the first rule?" Much to the amusement of the other instructors, 60 privates yelled in unison, "Shut up, Sergeant!"
Kathleen gets out of bed, throws on her robe and slippers, uncovers the parrot, pulls up the shades, opens the window, puts on the coffee, and sits down to read the paper. The phone rings. A man's voice says with anticipation. "Sweetie, I just flew in from London I'll be right over." She puts down the paper, turns off the coffee, closes the windows, pulls down the shades, covers the parrot, takes off her robe and slippers, and gets back into bed. The parrot says, "Dang! That was a short day."
Soup Diet Recipes: Fat Burning Soup Recipes Formerly Obese Mother Reveals Her Diet Secret: Homemade Fat Burning Soups! 100+ Fat Burning Soup Recipes That Boost Metabolism And Burn Fat. Big stack of free bonus books! 100% money back guarantee!

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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Tanner Vicory, 31, in Gilbert, AZ Charged With Having Sex With Boyfriend's 15-Year-Old Brother While Boyfriend Was In Jail Tanner Vicory, a 31-year-old Arizona woman was jailed Firday after she allegedly had sex with her boyfriend's 15-year-old brother while her boyfriend was in prison. According to Gilbert police, an investigation was launched after the boy's mother examined a pre-paid cell phone that Vicory had purchased for him, and found text messages from Vicory expressing her love for the teen. The mother then found numerous messages on her son's Yahoo Instant Messenger account in which Vicory and the boy arranged to have sex together. After the mother and son moved to another state, the boy reportedly told police that he and Vicory and consensual sex on at least 10 occasions between November 2011 and April 2012. The alleged sexual relationship took place when Vicory's boyfriend (the 15-year-old boy's older brother) was in jail. Vicory was booked into jail and charged with 10 counts of sexual conduct with a minor.
Tech Support Pits: From: Re: No questions today .............. No Question, no answer. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Paper Packaging for Covering Your Workbench: I save the large (25 and 50 pound) heavy craft paper bags that wild bird seed comes in. I cut along the top and bottom of the stitching and slit one side then fold and store them on my work bench. These make wonderful heavy disposable work surface covers to protect your workbench for your current project. I also use them when spray painting, stripping furniture etc as they catch all the overspray and drips. When your finished, you just fold them up and put them in the trash. By MaryCrane from Orange Park, FL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

>From Joyce How Smart is Your Right Foot ? This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And if you are anywhere near as stubborn as I am, you will keep trying at least a few more times to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. 1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction. I told you so. And, there's nothing you can do about it! Go ahead KEEP TRYING ALL YOU WANT ! Have a great day! Now get back to work!!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
On a military training exercise, the British divisional command radio operators were getting very bored one quiet night, when breaking the silence a voice asked over the air, "Are there any friendly bears listening?" After a moment, another voice replied, "Yes, I'm a friendly bear," and then another voice, "I'm a friendly bear too!" At this point, the Officer at Headquarters grabbed his microphone and let loose a blistering tirade at the operators for fooling around on an radio link. When he had finished, there was silence for about ten seconds. Then a small voice said, "He's not a friendly bear, let's go to our secret channel." They all muted their mikes and went to sleep, while the officer went nuts trying to find what secret channel they were using.
» Sounds of Nature


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DSL Lighning protection 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, September 22

Have FUN!
DearWebby

Today in 
1692 Last person hanged for witchcraft in US
1784 Russian trappers established a colony on Kodiak Island, AK 
1862 President Lincoln, says he will free slaves in all states on Jan 1 
1868 Race riots in New Orleans La 
1903 Italo Marchiony granted patent for the ice cream cone
1905 Race riot in Atlanta Georgia (10 blacks & 2 whites killed) 
1913 Coal mine explosion kills 263 at Dawson New Mexico
1949 USSR detonates its 1st atomic bomb
1973 Henry Kissinger, sworn in as America's 1st Jewish Secretary of State
1980 Iraqi troops seize part of Iran in a border dispute; war begins 
2012  smiled

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The desire to take medicine is perhaps the greatest feature which distinguishes man from animals. --- Sir William Osler, In H. Cushing, Life of Sir William Osler (1925) Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed. --- Sir Winston Churchill Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. --- Lily Tomlin Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. --- H. L. Mencken
>From Frank My son had just turned 14 when I finally decided to talk to him about sex. To ensure private time, I brought him on a ski trip and began our talk on the chair lift so he couldn't escape. "Son, do you know about girls and babies?" I asked. He nodded but cut me off. The next ride up the ski lift, I brought it up again, only to have him look away in silence. On the third lift, already knowing I had waited too long, I bluntly asked, "Son, would you like to talk about sex?" "Gee, Dad," he responded, "is that all you ever think about?"
At the height of the gale, the harbour master radioed a coastguard on the point and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge any more. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff.
Soup Diet Recipes: Fat Burning Soup Recipes Formerly Obese Mother Reveals Her Diet Secret: Homemade Fat Burning Soups! 100+ Fat Burning Soup Recipes That Boost Metabolism And Burn Fat. Big stack of free bonus books! 100% money back guarantee!

Thanks to all who sent in pictures! Endeavor's last Trip Click on the picture for the large version Click on the picture for the large version Click on the picture for the large version Click on the picture for the large version Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD to Maxine Romano, 23, in Springfield, Mass Jailed After Attacking Officer With Stiletto High Heel Springfield, Mass (The Weekly Vic Maxine Romano, a 23-year-old Connecticut woman was jailed Monday after she allegedly attacked a police officer with a high heel shoe. According to Springfield police, officers were called to the MVP Bar at the Sheraton Hotel around 10:30 on reports that a woman was intoxicated and acting in a belligerent manner. Employees at the bar told dispatchers that Romano was cursing loudly, making fun of other customers and refused to leave the bar when asked. When officers arrived, they offered to call Romano a cab so she could get home safely, but she told them that she would only get in the cab if they paid for it. She then began acting erratic, swearing and refusing to calm down. Investigators say Romano told officers that she owned a tanning salon and that she would "have their jobs" by morning. When she arrived at the police station, officers had to help her sit down because she was too drunk to stand up. That's when Romano allegedly lunged at an officer and stabbed him with the stiletto heal of her shoe. The officer received a cut to his leg as a result of the attack. Romano was booked into jail and charged with trespassing and assault and battery on a police officer. She denied the charges and was released on her own recognizances. She is scheduled to appear in court on September 25th.
Tech Support Pits: From: Glen Re: Lightning protection for DSL Dear Webby, We are moving to a hilltop and are going to be hit with lightning proabbly as often as the previous owner. I am isolating the power with an electric motor driven generator, so I am not worried about power, just data. What do you recommend to use for lightning protection for the phone and DSL line? Glen Dear Glen Panamax warrants Towermax units and modules for life. They also have a protected equipment warrranty, which means if you ever do take damage from a surge, Panamax will pay to repair or replace the equipment. http://snipurl.com/i2rh L-Com also has all kinds of DSL lightning protectors. However, I would also add active lightning strike prevention to the building. First, get perfect grounding through metal water and gas lines, plus ground rods. Then put lightning brushes or fans (bundles of sharpened metal rods) every two feet on your roof top. Connect them to ground. They ionize the air and repell and divert lightning. Next put up a tall ham radio tower or any similar metal tower six feet from the house and 50% higher than the house. Ground that to a separate ground rod system that is not directly connected to the house grounding system. If you set it up like that, even if lightning is headed for your house, it will zig-zag over to the tower and go harmlessly to ground. The tower, even if it is made from galvanized sheet metal, won't be harmed by a lightning strike. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Paper Packaging for Covering Your Workbench: I save the large (25 and 50 pound) heavy craft paper bags that wild bird seed comes in. I cut along the top and bottom of the stitching and slit one side then fold and store them on my work bench. These make wonderful heavy disposable work surface covers to protect your workbench for your current project. I also use them when spray painting, stripping furniture etc as they catch all the overspray and drips. When your finished, you just fold them up and put them in the trash. By MaryCrane from Orange Park, FL Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
5 Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger This is mostly a "Don't fall for this and that stuff, that you won't keep up anyway." These 5 steps reveal the things you absolutey MUST AVOID if you want to slow the aging process, reclaim your health, and achieve your ideal body. Give "Old School - New Body" a try!

Concluding his exam, the doctor said to his patient, "Mr. Franklin, I find very little wrong with you. You are in surprisingly good health despite being quite overweight. My advice to you is this: If you want to stay healthy, give up those intimate little dinners for two unless you have someone to share them with."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"I was in the hospital," Thelma writes, "and my husband was visiting. He was trying to stop smoking and was chewing on an unlit cigar when he got on the elevator. A lady said to him, "Sir, there's no smoking in here." My husband said, "I'm not smoking." "But you have a cigar in your mouth!" the lady said. "Lady," my husband answered, "I'm also wearing jockey shorts, but I'm not riding a horse, either. "
» USAF National Museum


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