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How often should I reboot? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Thanks Bonita!

In the morning I am sheduled to go to get blood samples taken.
The actual procedure is no big deal, I used to donate a liter of
blood every month, and I still fondly remember a nurse, who
told me to squeeze, while she was within reach. She just grinned
and told me "Not now, I have a headache!"

Blood sampling under Medicare is totally different. 
Even when I am the only one, they make me wait an hour.
The actual sampling is no big deal.

I have to fast 14 hours before the sampling. That always
sounds dreadful, the way the doctor mentions it. I guess
he is used to frequent eating and snacking and it would be 
a big deal for him. When I am busy working, time flies fast
and I often go that length of time without eating, and to me
it sounds more like a vacation from cooking than a big
deal of suffering.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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The discipline of desire is the background of character. --- John Locke He who knows others is wise; He who knows himself is enlightened. --- Lao-Tzu
The Secretary of the Navy was inspecting a recently launched carrier. The entire crew stood at attention. "I suppose," said the Secretary jokingly to the carrier's captain, "you know the name of every man on the ship." "Yes, of course," was the captain's unexpected reply. "Aha," smiled the Secretary. "What's the name of the third man from the left there in the rear rank?" "William Jones," said the captain. The Secretary addressed the seaman himself. "What's your name, lad?" he asked. "William Jones, SIR!" replied Seaman Dale Abernathy, "but you can call me Bubba."
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records, Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases. Get access and the tools with People Search When you have the data, you have leverage!

Patrick in Dublin see's a job advertised on a building site: 'Handy man wanted...apply within'. So he does and speaks to the foreman. Foreman: "Can you drive a fork-lift truck?" Patrick: "No." Foreman: "Can you plaster?" Patrick: "No." Foreman: "Can you lay brick?" Patrick: "No." Foreman: "If you don't mind me asking, what's handy about you?" Patrick: "I live next door to the pub across the street."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Gene took a couple pictures of the ( almost) ever blooming Christmas cactus. Wanted to show you some of its berries. Only one shows here.Slightly to the right of center (blossom). This plant is fantastic with its flowers and it's the only one of the asst'd cactuses of this kind that we have,that gives fruit. We'll try to get a better 'berry photo' soon. Lillemor
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ismael Ortiz, 24, in Titusville, Florida Arsonist caught after fingertip found at crime scene Police arrested a suspect in an arsonist-for-hire in Titusville after they said he made a critical mistake — he left the tip of his finger at the scene of the crime. Meanwhile, detectives are seeking the public's help in finding the man they say was trying to pull off an insurance scam by burning down his (rented) house. Police were called to a fire at a home on North Dixie Avenue about 11:15 a.m. Saturday. While they were investigating, police said, they discovered evidence of accelerants, leading them to determine that the fire was likely an arson. Then, while sifting through evidence, officers got a tip — literally. They found a piece of a latex glove with the tip of a finger inside. Police said they found their suspect at a local hospital. They matched the tip to 24-year-old Ismael Ortiz, who detectives said quickly confessed. But how did the suspect clip his tip? Detective Jessica Edens explained: Trying to flee after setting the fire, "he slammed his finger in the door," Edens said, "and it cut the tip of his finger off." Police said Ortiz told detectives he was hired by a resident of the home, Samuel "Sammy" Davis. Investigators said Davis hired Ortiz to burn down the house so he could collect on a renters insurance policy. Police said they recovered several pieces of evidence, including items they said Davis hid "so that they would be spared from the fire." Edens said Ortiz was arrested and booked into the Brevard County Jail. Police are still looking for Davis. He was described as 58 years old and bald with gray facial hair and blue eyes.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Judy Re: How often should I reboot? Dear Webby I am using my computer just for work, email, and the odd bit of reasonably careful browsing, just to legitimate businesses and banks. How often should I reboot? The old klunker takes forever to reboot, and sometimes I wonder if it will still make it. But it does slow down if I don't occasionally reboot. Judy Dear Judy That would depend on your protection. I use McAfee and Registry Booster, and I too am careful about where I browse to, but after 3 - 4 weeks the machine gets slow, especially the File Explorer. So I save everything, close all open programs, which can be quite a lot, and reboot. The reboot doesn't take anywhere near as long, if you shut down all programs first. After that, work on that five year old XP is faster than on the half year old Windows7 machine beside it. I used to use all kinds of different utilities to tweak and clean the computers, but I found that the Registry Booster Power Suite does all that is necessary, and reboots are painless and not scary any more. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one another for some time. after inquiring about each other's health one asked how the other's husband was doing. "Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to get a cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead, right there in the middle of the vegetable patch!" "Oh dear! I'm very sorry," replied her friend. "What did you do?" "Opened a can of peas instead!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Spaghetti to Test When Baking If baking a cake and you are out of toothpicks to test to see if it is done, use a piece of uncooked spaghetti instead. By Sandy from Graettinger IA Uncooked spaghetti also works great to light gas furnaces, fireplaces, BBQs, candles, etc. Have FUN! DearWebby http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The nice part about living in a small town: When you don't know what you're doing, someone else always does.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The truck driver looked suspiciously at the soup he had just been served in a backwoods eatery. It contained dark flecks of seasoning, but two of the spots were suspicious. “Hey,” he called out to the waitress, “these things in my soup ­ aren’t they foreign objects?” She is scrutinizing his bowl. “No, sir!” she reassured him. “Those things live around here.”

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Some pictures not showing in mails I send 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, January 24, 2011

No more Govt grants for THAT guy!
(If anyody at the White House catches on, which is not likely.)
http://snipurl.com/anti-us-song-at-whitehouse

During the Korea war, China and the US were enemies.
"Battle on Shangganling Mountain" was the theme song of a
famous anti-U.S. movie about  the Korean war, sort of the 
Chinese equivalent of the of "MASH" series.

And he was chosen and paid by the White House!
That guy has more guts than all the MASH characters together.

Korean war vets are not impressed.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"Grub first, then ethics" --- Bertolt Brecht "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." --- Eleanor Roosevelt "I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past." --- Thomas Jefferson
A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93. When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records, Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases. Get access and the tools with People Search When you have the data, you have leverage!

Highly recommended reading: "Thirty yards to the outhouse" by Will E. Makeit (illustrated by Betty Wont)
Thanks to Sandie for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Orchids
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Thomas Zenon and Miguel Guzman in Manhattan, NY Business cards led to drug bust NEW YORK, Jan. 22 (UPI) -- New York police said they arrested two men accused of running a high-end cocaine and marijuana business they advertised with business cards. Investigators said an informant found the business cards advertising the drug-dealing services of Thomas Zenon and Miguel Guzman in a New York University dorm, and undercover officers made 12 buys during a three-month period, the New York Daily News reported Friday. Police said Zenon and Guzman, who were arrested Wednesday, had more than 200 customers in the Manhattan borough. The men were scheduled to be arraigned on drug charges Friday. Officers said Guzman was en route to a delivery when he was arrested Wednesday and was holding 16 grams of cocaine, more than $1,600 cash and four cellphones. Zenon was arrested at a restaurant with more than $600 in addition to 20 bags of marijuana found in his car. Read more: http://snipurl.com/bizcardstojail [www_upi_com]
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Frank Re: Some of my pictures don't show in emails Dear Webby About half of the pictures, that I send, show up OK, but the other half doesn't. What's the problem? Frank Dear Frank Most likely you have spaces in the file name. Spaces in a name are usually OK while on the same machine, but they are not standard, and not interpreted in any standard way. Mac's always allowed spaces, and use their own method to handle them. UNIX and DOS and Linux don't allow spaces. Then some wimps at Microsoft decided to go against Bill Gates's standards, just to make the rare Mac convert happy. Mac people rarely convert to PC. They are like Harley riders. It's not about performance or reliability or features, it's a cult. As usual, when somebody lowers their standard, things turn into a sloppy mess. Some parts of Windows handle spaces in file names, other parts don't. People with Macs will see your pictures without any problem. Their machines know how to handle spaces in file names. But those friends, who use Windows machine, depend on what email program they use. Some can deal with spaces, some can't. To make sure your pictures show up properly EVERY time, cut out the empty spaces in their file names. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
First golfer, Bill: "What was your score?" Bob: "Seventy-two." Bill: "That's not too bad at all!" Bob: "Thanks! I hope I'll do better on the second hole."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use a Timer With Your Heated Blanket I have an electric mattress pad that I put on a timer - goes on at midnight and off at 9 A.M. Bed is nice and warm to crawl into, and is cooling off as I wake up. No more forgetting to shut it off after I get up. Source: Tired of high electric bill from not shutting it off. By Joandogs from Norwell, MA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
During the course of being interviewed by the press, the noted doctor was asked by a reporter: "Doctor, did you ever make a serious mistake?" "Yes, was the reply, "I sure did! I once cured a millionaire before he was broke!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shooked it, held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is - flowers!" "That's right!" said the boy, "but how did you know?" "Just a wild guess," she said. The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shooked it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is - a box of candy!" "That's right! But how did you know?" asked the girl. "Just a lucky guess," said the teacher. The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held the bag over her head and noticed that it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher then said, "I give up, what is it?" The boy replied, "A puppy!"

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Free Traffic For Your Website or Blog 


Software generates $460,497.35 cash and 20,076,087 free visitors.

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Eudora slowing down after 15 years 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, January 23, 2011

Thank you, Raymond!

Here is an article about police in Massachusets getting 
hysterical about a guy who at some time in the past had 
blown up his snow bank, probably because it was mixed 
with frozen slush and hardened by ploughs. 
Common practice in many areas, but sure got the concerned
citizens upset there.
http://snipurl.com/snowbankbomber

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. --- George Bernard Shaw We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like? --- Jean Cocteau
Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we have if we placed a "K" in the front?" After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?"
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records, Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases. Get access and the tools with People Search When you have the data, you have leverage!

As the principal made his rounds, he heard a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms. He rushed in and spotted one boy, taller than the others, who seemed to be making the most noise. He seized the lad, dragged him to the hall, and told him to wait there until he was excused. Returning to the classroom, the principal restored order and lectured the class for half an hour about the importance of good behavior. "Now," he said," are there any questions?" One girl stood up timidly. "What are you going to do to the teacher out in the hallway ?"
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Be kind to your horse. It may be a long walk home!
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Drunks in Port Melbourne, Australia Couple Charged With Drink Driving A WOMAN, angry that police were breath testing her husband, allegedly drove her car at the officers while they were dealing with the man. The Port Melbourne pair have both lost their licenses for 12 months following the incident at the road-side breath testing operation in Greeves St, St Kilda last night. Sen-Constable Wayne Wilson said the man recorded a blood alcohol reading of 0.111 when he was pulled up. But while he was being processed, the wife got into the driver’s seat and drove at police. She was later found with a higher reading to her husband’s at 0.165, and will be charged with driving under the influence. Police tested 713 drivers throughout the night-long operation and detected 11 with positive readings. Three people recorded blood alcohol concentrations more than three times over the legal limit, including two people blowing 0.165 and a woman recording 0.185. In another incident last night, police were called to a Hastings hotel at 11.50pm where a man was refusing to leave the hotel. After speaking with police, the man was allowed to leave and drove away in his nearby car. He was shortly stopped by police and recorded a blood alcohol reading of 0.145. The man lost his licence for 12 months.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Alice Re: Slow Eudora Dear Webby What I like the most about your daily newsletter, is that you take a stand and are not skirting issues because you might annoy half the readers. Even though I disagree with you almost every day, or don't like what you point out, with you at least I know you are not pushing any party line. Nuff of that. About fifteen years ago you talked me into switching to Eudora for my email, because it is faster and more reliable. Well it still is reliable, but it sure is not fast any more. I have just moved it from one machine to the next and have fifteen years of mail in it. Is that too much? Alice Dear Alice Jusdging by the emails you occasionally forward, you have a lot of friends, who use Incredimail. Go into the Eudora folder and look for the Embedded directory in that. Chances are that you have a few Million pictures in that, mostly the silly slobber from the Incredimail footers. Look at that folder with a graphics program, make a new folder in it and call that one: KEEPERS. Then sort the folder by picture size. That will take some time! Then highlight the first picture and scoot down a few tens or hundreds of thousands of pictures until you get past the slobber, the logos and mugshots and closer to the pictures, that you might consider keeping. Delete all that stuff, if you can. Windows might stall on that task, forcing you to dump smaller loads. After that, the sorting will proceed a lod easier and quicker. Sort through the rest by dragging pictures, that are worth keeping into the KEEPERS folder. Then hit CTRL A to highlight all that are left, and delete those. Next, sort out the IN box. Make folders for any topic or year or friend, sort the mail so that those are bunched and move them into those folders. Ideally, the IN box should just have the stuff in it, that you plan to actually answer today or at least in a few days. Do the same with the OUT box. As a final touch, dump the trash. You will be surprised how fast Eudora runs after that. It's actually not Eudora that slows down, but Window taking a long time to sort through that much stuff. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
There's a new jewelry store in Hollywood whose business has suddenly leaped ahead of all the competition. It rents out wedding rings.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Spice Rack to Organize Nuts and Bolts I was helping my husband organize his new tool shed, and just didn't know where to put all the different sizes of nuts, bolts, screws, etc. I figured it was time for another plastic container, but they just get overlooked and purchased again. Instead, I used an old spice rack I bought for a dollar at a yard sale. He loved the idea. It spins, everything is visible and I didn't have to label more plastic containers. I am always looking for old spice racks now, they came in handy for all my daughters beads for her crafts as well. By Frazzledmrs from California http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Psychiatry students were in their Emotional Extremes class. "Let's set some parameters," the professor said. What's the opposite of joy?" he asked one student. "Sadness," he answered. The opposite of depression?" he asked another student. "Elation," he replied. Then the professor asked a young woman from Texas: "The opposite of woe?" The Texan replied, "Sir, Ah believe, Sahr, that would be giddyup."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Grandma showed some old postcards to her small grandchildren, including one showing a pilgrim family in their Sunday best, observing, "The pilgrim children LIKED to go to church with their mothers and fathers." "Oh, yeah?" her grandson replied, "And their dad is carrying that ig, long rifle to make sure they LIKE to go along peacefully?"

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How to replace a laptop keyboard 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, January 22, 2011

Was the Delta IV launch on Thursday Li'l Lucy upstaging 
Charlie Brown?

The Chinese staged the long awaited maiden flight of their
high tech J-20 stealth fighter to coincide with the visit of Defense 
Secretary Robert Gates, but claimed it was just a coincidence,
and a visit by some burocrat was no reason to postpone
a big event like that. 

Right. Same as the launch of the Delta IV just when Chinese 
President Hu Jintao is visiting Washington.
Just a coincidence. After all, it just carried a 
"better than hubble instrument" to assist with drone 
deployment in the Far East.

With the J-20 there was speculation, that the Chinese Air
Force wanted to show it's independence from the civilian
government. It is doubtful, that the US Airforce tried to cast
a message like that. It is much more likely just following
orders and playing their part in crude sandbox diplomacy.

Hu's visit to Ottawa was totally different.
In exchange for China stopping the ban on Canadian Beef
Harper stopped stopped being in a snit and stopped all the 
hostile bitching about Human Rights in China, 

And in exchange for designating Canada as an approved 
travel destination he agreed to keep Epoch Times and 
New Tang Dynasty (Chinese Media Conglomerates associated
with Falun Gong) from the news conference.

The left wing parliamentary press gallery refused to coopeate,
so Harper told them to stuff the press conference where the 
sun don't shine, and they went for a private beer instead.

Totally different level of diplomacy.Canada might even buy 
some J-20s. They could come in handy for counting the 
polar bears Those ARE getting a bit out of hand in some 
areas and hunting quotas had to be increased.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." --- George Carlin "There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel." --- Franklin P. Adams Today the bank paid me 97 cents per US dollar.
Trisha called Delta Airlines and asked, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York"? The agent replied, "Just a minute . . ." "That's pretty good!!" Trisha answered, and hung up.
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records, Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases. Get access and the tools with People Search When you have the data, you have leverage!

In search of a midnight snack, a suburbanite could find nothing but a dog biscuit. He bit into it tentatively, liked it, and the next morning asked his wife to put in a large supply. The local grocer observed. "You don't need so many biscuits for a dog as small as yours." "They're for my busband." "These biscuits are strictly for dogs," grumbled the grocer. "They'll kill your husband!" Six months later, the wife admitted her husband was dead. "I told you those biscuits would kill him," the grocer reminded her. "It wasn't the biscuits," said the woman. "He was killed when I backed over him with the pick-up, while he was sitting on the driveway behind it, liking his balls."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Hedesunda, Sweden
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Leon Ingram, 34 in Southampton, England big 6'4" burglar no match for 5'3" granny A FRAIL elderly widow turned into superwoman to send a burglar screaming from her home by battering him with a walking stick. Doris Thiele, 84, hit 6ft 4in Leon Ingram round the head for EIGHT MINUTES while her daughter Helen, 59, held him in a headlock. Terrified Ingram, 34, finally smashed his way through the conservatory doors with his HEAD to get away. The serial burglar left a trail of blood to a nearby flat, where he was arrested. Doris, 5ft 3in, of New Milton, Hants, said: "I hope this sends a strong message to other burglars. If someone else comes they'll get more of the same." She and Helen won police bravery awards for their actions. Heroin user Ingram - described as a "one-man crimewave" - was jailed for three years after admitting burglary at Southampton Crown Court. He had 32 previous convictions. Details and pictures
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Wendy Re: Change laptop keyboard Dear Webby The keyboard on my laptop is getting too badly worn and erratic. How difficult is it to replace the keyboard? Wendy Dear Wendy It's actually quite easy. You need two tools: an old-fashioned thin razor blade and a small phillips screwdriver. You use the razor blade or a very thin knife to pry up the bezel around the keyboard. That reveals two or three tiny screws. Remove those and save them in a cup. Now you can lift up the keyboard on the side where the screws were. That releases it on the opposite side. Unplug the ribbon cable(s) that connect the keyboard and connect them to the new keyboard. Stick the new keyboard in under the latches opposite the screws, wiggle it down and secure it with the screws. Put the bezel back onto it. That may require a bit of fiddling. It will snap in only when it is perfectly lined up. That's all there is to it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
The preacher said: "There's no such thing as a perfect man. Anybody present who has ever known a perfect man, stand up." One man at the very back stood up. The preacher was quite surprised and thrown out of his prepared routine. "Did you really ever know an absolutely perfect man?" he asked again. "I didn't know him personally," replied the man, "but I have heard a great deal about him. He was my wife's first husband."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Don't Leave Measuring Scoop in Food Do not leave measuring cups or scoops in food for comfort and speed, it will leave germs in the food! I went to college to become a dietary manager, and I learned that from my text books. This is a state law for schools, nursing homes, prisons, day cares, Think about it, hands dirty, nails full of germs. By 6956 from 88olds88 http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Pythagorean theorem : 24 Words The Lord's Prayer : 66 Words Archimedes' Principle : 67 Words The 10 Commandments : 179 Words The Gettysburg Address : 286 Words The Declaration of Independence : 1,300 Words The U. S. Government regulations on the sale of cabbage : 26,911 Words
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign hanging on the door knob that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

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How to store CDs 



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Good Morning,  !
IIt's Friday, January 21, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red, to show your support for the troops!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


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I am not young enough to know everything. --- Oscar Wilde Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? --- Spike Milligan
A couple's happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seven long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally the old girl died. After the ambulance had hauled her away, the husband confessed to his wife, "Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years." His wife looked at him aghast. *MY* Aunt Emma! " She screamed: "I thought she was *YOUR* Aunt Emma!"
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When my sister teased her four-year-old daughter by suggesting she liked a certain boy in her kindergarten class, the little girl was quite indignant. "No mommy, I don't," she replied, "because he's only interested in one thing." Shocked, my sister cautiously asked what that might be. "His iPod, of course," said the toddler."He doesn't like girls and doesn't crawl under the bushes with us!"
Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to five ash snorters in Silver Springs, Florida Cremains mistaken for drugs SILVER SPRINGS, Fla. - Marion County Sheriff's deputies on Tuesday arrested five burglary suspects stemming from an investigation which began last month. The victim in the burglary said she returned to her home on Locust Lane in the Silver Springs Shores to discover that several items were missing. Some of the items included electronics and jewelry, but what she found most troubling, was the theft of her late father's ashes and the ashes of her two Great Danes. During the investigation, detectives learned that the ashes were taken because the suspects mistook the cremains for either cocaine or heroin. Word on the street soon revealed that the suspects snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine. According to detectives, the suspects eventually realized they had the remains from the dogs and the victim's father, so the suspects got rid of the ashes by tossing them into the lake. The Marion County Sheriff's Office Dive Team has since located and recovered the ashes. Arrested were Waldo Soroa, 19, who faces seven charges and has a bond of $17,000, Matrix Andaluz, 18, who faces six charges and has a bond of $11,500, and Jose David Diaz Marrero, 19, who faces four charges and has a bond of $9,000. There are two juvenile suspects facing charges which include attempted residential burglary and impairing a phone line to the home. Also, in a different incident, detectives charged all five suspects with attempted residential burglary and impairing the phone line to a home on Oak Circle in the same community. The victims in that incident, a married couple, were awakened by loud banging noises back and at one point, the victims were face-to-face with one of the suspects. That suspect took off running, while the other suspects raced away in one red car and one black car, according to the Marion County Sheriff's Office.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Julia Re: How should CDs be stored? Dear Webby How should back-up CD's and disks be stored ? Julia Dear Julia By far the best way to store them is in those lockable hardcase briefcases. If you are in a hurry to buy them, they are around $100, but every now and then they go on sale for as little as $14.95. Look for the ones that have combination lock latches and a harmonica style expansion section. To stand up CD's in them you need that expansion space. In those hardcases they are protected from dust, humidity, and rapid temperature changes. If you are in a hurry to evacuate the building for whatever emergency reason, you can quickly grab those hardcases with the company back-ups and carry them to safety in a much more civilized manner than juggling a stack of shoe boxes. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Without hesittion Little Johnny replied: "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Winter Feeding for Hummingbirds As the hummingbirds go south, there are a few that do stay. We love to feed them and we become their main source of food. We stop feeding them, and they perish. With the winter freeze, we found we needed two feeders. One in the house and one at the feed place, winter night freeze and we exchange them. Then the one outside come in and thaws and the other is now fresh and ready for meals. The hummers survive until spring and the insects and flowers bloom. By Harris B. from Troutdale, OR http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
It was after 3 a.m. in the fancy restaurant, and all the guests except for one had gone home. The last guest was sleeping at his table. The cleaning lady, irritated that she was delayed in doing her job, turned to the restaurant owner. "I've seen you shake the old fool and wake him up five times," she said. "Why don't you make him go home?" "No way! " answered the owner cheerfully. "Every time I wake him up, he asks for his bill and pays it!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Richard for this story: Four men are out to dinner at a restaurant when the waiter mentions to one of the men that it appears that he attended Harvard University. The man was amazed and asked the waiter how he knew. The waiter told him that he had used a word that only Harvard men used so it was obvious that he was a Harvard man. Later during the course of the dinner, the waiter told another man that it appeared that he had attended Yale University. The man was amazed and asked the waiter how he knew. The waiter told him that he had used a sentence structure that only Yale men used so it was obvious that he was a Yale man. Even later during the course of the dinner, the waiter told another man that it appeared that he had attended Princeton University. The man was amazed and asked the waiter how he knew. The waiter told him that he had pronounced a word in a manner that only Princeton men used so it was obvious that he was a Princeton man. As they were paying their bill the waiter mentioned to the fourth man that it appeared that he was a graduate of the University of Alberta. The Alberta grad was amazed and asked the waiter if he knew this because of a word he had used or a sentence structure or the way he had pronounced a word. The waiter said that none of these techniques were used. He had spotted the man's class ring while the man had been picking his nose.

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Lemons 


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Mail affected by incorrect date 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, January 20, 2011

It was interesting to see how the US Senate shrugged off the
245 to 189 House vote against Socialist Medicare. "Awww, that's
just the people. They don't count."

I have a hunch, that is going to come back and bite them in 
the rear.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"English is a language where double negatives are a no-no." --- Alfred E. Neuman They told me, in English double positives don't make a negaive in English. Yeah, right!
Because of an ear infection, , had to go to the pediatrician. The doctor directed his comments and questions to in a professional manner. When he asked , "Is there anything you are allergic to?" nodded and whispered in his ear. Smiling, the pediatrician wrote out a prescription and handed it to 's mother. She tucked it into her purse without looking at it. As the pharmacist filled the order, he remarked on the unusual food-drug interaction must have. 's mother looked puzzled until he showed her the label on the bottle. As per the doctor's instructions, it read, "Do not take with broccoli."
Need to make some money on Forex? Get the Leo Trader Pro Neural-Net Robot The first Neural-Net based Forex robot. Includes Investor Account password. Not for casual observers, just for actual Forex investors and harvesters. Get above the loser layer fast!

Two women were being shown through the zoo, and their guide halted before the ostriches to explain: "Now this, ladies, is a very unusual bird. Even though it's eyes are bigger than it's brain, it can see very little and can digest practically anything." "Goodness," exclaimed one of the women. "Wouldn't THAT make an ideal husband !"
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Matterhorn
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Robert Charles Fleming II, 25, in Butler, PA Long test drive BUTLER, Pa. — Authorities are looking for a western Pennsylvania man they say is taking too long a test-drive. Police say 25-year-old Robert Charles Fleming II never came back after he took a 2005 Chevrolet pickup from a Butler County used car dealership on Tuesday. Butler Township police say Fleming left behind a copy of his driver's license in return for the keys. They have filed theft and related charges against him. Lyndora Auto Sales owner Kenny Galvan tells the Beaver County Times that it's the first time the dealership has had a car stolen in its 26 years in business.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Brenda Re: Mail doesn't get through Dear Webby Some of the people we write to say they don't get our mail, and some say that they either don't get our mail or they accidentally find it among old mail. What would cause that ? Brenda Dear Brenda That sounds like you have the wrong date, wrong time zone, or wrong AM/PM selected. Because many spammers use that trick to sneak unseen into the previous days pile of mail and hope to be read when you come upon an un-answered mail later, some spam filters look for that trick and dump mail with incorrect dates. However, even if your mail is not auto-dumped, it becomes nearly as invisible, if it is stashed in the previous day's pile. Most likely you have selected a wrong time zone or date. Correct that, and send me a test mail. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
"I'm applying for that mechanic's job you had advertised in this morning's paper," the fellow told the garage owner. "Well, what are your qualifications? have you had any mechanical experience with cars?" "Well, of course. I'm the fellow who used to put part 232-B-4976 onto all the cars at Ford." "Well, how come you aren't there any more?" "I had a little tough luck." "Tough luck?" "Yeah, I dropped my wrench one day and by the time I ot it back, I was twenty-seven cars behind."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Safety Pin Label Before Sewing I was doing some sewing today. I am making some crafts to sell. I had labels made to sew inside. I hand sew my labels. Instead of straight pins I pinned them in place with two small safety pins. That way I didn't have to be on guard against the points. The job went much faster that way. By MartyD from Houston, Tx http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A rancher applied for a loan at a bank. "How much do you want to borrow?" asked the loan interviewer. "Twenty-five thousand dollars." "All right, but you'll have to show security. How many bulls do you have on your ranch?" "Two hundred." "That should be enough security. The loan is approved." Several months later the rancher returned to the bank to repay the loan. "Here's your money," he declared, peeling off bills from a huge bankroll. "Well, sir, let me congratulate you on your sudden prosperity," said the interviewer, eyeing the bankroll. "And for safety's sake, may I suggest you eposit that extra money in our bank?" Staring at him coldly, the rancher asked, "How many bulls do you have?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
My friend's preparations for a visit from her children in- cluded a trip to the bank. Waiting in line at the teller's window, she lamented to the middle-aged man behind her, "My children are in their 20s, and I'm still giving them money. When does it end?" "I'm not sure I'm the one to ask," the man said while glancing uncomfortably at a paper in his hand, "I'm here to deposit a check from my mother."

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Jigsaw Puzzle 

Solve This Jigsaw Puzzle




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No File Association Found 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, January 19, 2011

That cartoon yesterday was not about the 2 Billion peaceful
Muslims, who get along just fine. It was about Islamist 
Extremists, who try to give the Muslims a bad name.
There IS a difference!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"Happiness is a way station between to little and too much." --- Channing Pollock "It's not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted." --- Mary O'Connor
Bill decided to stop worrying about his wife's driving and took advantage of it. He got one of those bumper stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a 900 toll number on it. At $1 a call, her driving will have earned her a new car by Mother's Day.
Need to make some money on Forex? Get the Leo Trader Pro Neural-Net Robot The first Neural-Net based Forex robot. Includes Investor Account password. Not for casual observers, just for actual Forex investors and harvesters. Get above the loser layer fast!

Ms Myrna from the Department of Motor Vehicles finally retired (-to everybody's great relief-). She had always wanted to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she thought she would really like to do so before she died. But until now, she'd never even been out of the country. So she began by going in person to the Passport Office and asking how long it would take to have one issued. "You must take the loyalty oath first," responded the passport clerk. "Raise your right hand, please." The old gal raised her right hand. "Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?" was the first question. Myrna's face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a small voice, "But you ARE giving me back my shot gun for that job, right?"
Thanks to Betty for this picture of her rhodo: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Amy Bobkovich, 38 in Lorraine, Ohio Woman got 3 speeding tickets in one hour A Lorain woman received three speeding tickets in an hour on Saturday night. Sheffield Village Police Chief Larry Bliss tells Fox 8 News, Amy Bobkovich, 38, received the first ticket at 11:40 p.m., for driving 55-mph in a 35-mph zone on East River Road. Ten minutes later she was ticketed on East River Road by a different officer for once again driving 55-mph in a 35-mph zone. Chief Bliss says at 12:43 a.m. Sunday, Bobkovich received her third speeding ticket for driving 51-mph in a 35-mph zone. That ticket was issued on Detroit Road. Bliss says the officers issuing Bobkovich's second and third tickets were aware of the citations she had received earlier in the night, but her speeding did not warrant an arrest. They let her continue driving, probably hoping to make it five a night, but she seems to have made it to her destination without getting caught again.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Shirley Re: No File Association Found Dear Webby I receive emails and when I click them the following statement comes on: This file does not have a program associated with it for performing the action. Create an association in the FOLDER OPTIONS control panel. I do not know how to do this. Could you please help me. Thank you Shirley Dear Shirley Open a File Explorer Tools Folder Options File Types Scroll down to the mystery extension, and associate a suitable program for it. Depending on what it is, you may have to download and install a suitable program first. Of necessary, you can select "Search the Web" to find a suitable program. However, it would be a good idea to first read up on what that extension is all about, and whether it is a safe or a malicious file type. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
farts in the classroom and his teacher gets really upset and throws him out. He goes and sits on the sidewalk in the sun outside the class and can't stop laughing. The principal walks by and sees sitting outside laughing. He says, " what are you doing sitting here laughing?" says, "I farted in class and the teacher threw me out." The principle says, "Well then, why are you laughing?" says, "Cause they are sitting in the classroom smelling my fart, while they put me outside in this beautiful, clean and fresh air and sunshine."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Muffins for Breakfast Find a good basic muffin recipe and play with it. Experiment with different kinds of flour or combinations of flour. Use different nuts, fruits, coconut, spices, etc. Freeze the baked muffins and warm one a day in the microwave for breakfast. My current muffin is a combination of whole wheat and soy flour, pecans, molasses, ginger, cinnamon, baking powder, canola oil, coconut, Splenda, brown sugar, vanilla yogurt, blueberry applesauce, eggs, skim milk, and skim milk. They are delicious and cheaper than Vitamuffins, although I do love Vitamuffins. By Susannl from St. Cloud, FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
For the first time in many years, an old man travels from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stops at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. He hands the attendant $1.50 and comments, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents." "Well, sir," the attendant replies, "you're really going to enjoy yourself. We have color and sound now!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel. One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag a dead mastodon to the food-preparation area. It was exhausting work; the guys were getting tired just WATCHING. Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders, and they had an idea: They could sit on the boulders and watch! This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately led to television and remote controls."

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Is Free Norton good enough? 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Thanks to Martin for this cartoon:

AND Muslims from the other side of the Sunni/Shiite divide!


Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
"I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand." --- Confucius "Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater." --- William Hazlitt
A very nervous man, accompanied by his nagging wife, was examined by a doctor. After checking the chart, the doctor nodded and wrote out a prescription for a powerful tranquilizer. The man asked, "How often do I take these?" "Let's start off with once every six hours. But they're not for you," replied the doctor. "They're for your wife."
Tinnitus Cure The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes, Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists. But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
Here is a nice old classic! Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession. "Father, I kinda took a leetle lumber from dat new construction site." Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son"? Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole for a long time.I'm 'fraid someone will break dey laig, so I fix de hole. " Priest: "Well, that's not so bad." Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a leetle lumber left over." Priest: "What did you do with it?" Boudreaux: "Well, my poor dog, Phideaux, he ain't never had no place to get outta de wether, so I make him his own leetle doghouse." Priest: "OK, anything else?" Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a leetle lumber left over. So you know, my truck, she ain't never had no place to get outta de wether either, so I make her a two car garage." Priest: "Now, this is getting a little out of hand." Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I still had a leetle lumber left over." Priest: "Yes?" Boudreaux: "Well, my wife, she always want a bigger house. So I add two bedrooms and a new bat'room." Priest: "OK! That's definitely too much. For your penance, you are going to have to make a Novena. You do know how to make a Novena, don't you?" Boudreaux: "No, Father...But, if you got de blueprints, I got de lumber." (For those of you who don't know, a Novena is a huge set of prayers)
Thanks to Norm for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. The bridge is finished and in use now, but this must be the prettiest picture from the construction.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Stephanie Moreland, 46, in Bloomington, Minnesota Shoplifter hid mink coat under underwear BLOOMINGTON, Minn. (WCCO) – A female shoplifting suspect hid a stolen mink coat in her underwear while she was in jail for three days. Stephanie Moreland was arrested New Year’s Eve by Bloomington Police after the Alaskan Fur Company reported a short mink coat was stolen by a woman who had been in the store and acting suspiciously. One of the sales associates, Simona Storchak, confronted Moreland when she saw a $6500 coat was missing. She said Moreland denied having the coat and took off. Storchak wrote down the license plate on the woman’s car and called police. When Bloomington officers located the car a short time later, they found a hanger from the store, but no coat. They searched her for weapons and booked her into their jail for the weekend on theft charges. Three days later, a detective interviewed Moreland who admitted she stole the coat but claimed she had already sold it. When the investigator informed Moreland he would be sending her to the Hennepin County Jail downtown, he was shocked when she lifted up her dress and pulled out the mink coat from her underwear. “She had modified her underwear. She actually cut the rear of the underwear out so that from the back it appeared she was not wearing underwear and then stuffed it down the front,” said Bloomington Police Commander Mark Stehlik. Stehlik said the suspect, who is 46 years old, weighs about 270 pounds which helped make it easier for her to conceal the short jacket.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Roland Re: Is free Norton good enough? Dear Webby, My ISP will give us free subscription for Norton, is there much difference between Norton and MacAfee Roland Dear Roland Some people say that Norton is good enough, as long as it is free. I am not one of those people. McAfee is good enough, that people actually pay for it. That's the group of people I'm in. Norton does catch most viruses and some malware, but it causes problems with Windows. Remember the Norton ads in the late 90's, that said it takes Norton to make Windows complete? That seems to have annoyed some of the tens of thousands of programmers at Microsoft, and since Windows 2000, Norton does not mesh with Windows as well as paying customers would expect. I don't know ANY honest tech, who recommends Norton. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel operating the boat. Still, he was concerned about what might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake he said to his wife, "Honey, take the wheel... Pretend that I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to shore and dock it." So she steered the boat to shore and docked it. Later that evening, the wife walked into the livingroom where her husband was reading a novel... She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and said to him, "Honey, go into the kitchen. Pretend I'm having a heart attack. Do the laundry, cook dinner, set the table, and wash the dishes."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Homemade Muffins for Breakfast Find a good basic muffin recipe and play with it. Experiment with different kinds of flour or combinations of flour. Use different nuts, fruits, coconut, spices, etc. Freeze the baked muffins and warm one a day in the microwave for breakfast. My current muffin is a combination of whole wheat and soy flour, pecans, molasses, ginger, cinnamon, baking powder, canola oil, coconut, Splenda, brown sugar, vanilla yogurt, blueberry applesauce, eggs, skim milk, and skim milk. They are delicious and cheaper than Vitamuffins, although I do love Vitamuffins. By Susannl from St. Cloud, FL http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister left me alone in a restaurant with my 12-month-old nephew. I said, "What do I do if he cries?" She said, "Give him some vegetables." It turns out that jalapenos are not his favorite.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong: First Alfred said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. "All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, he had to pay the fine because according to the fish warden we had caught more than the limit for both of us. But Alfred had not had a single bite!"

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My Prayer 


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Non PDF invoices 



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Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, January 17, 2011

A beautiful, clear moon, silver reflections off the mountains
in the West, but at -22, I am not really tempted to go for a walk
right now. It's supposed to warm up in the afternoon. I'll try
and sneak out for a bit then.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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"Manners are like the zero in arithmetic; they may not be much in themselves, but they are capable of adding a great deal to the value of everything else." --- Freya Stark "Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't." --- Pete Seeger Anyone who has ever struggled with poverty knows how extremely expensive it is to be poor. --- James Baldwin
A man realizes he needs to buy a hearing aid, but he is unwilling to spend much money. "How much do they run?" he asks the clerk. "That depends," says the salesman. "They run from $2 to $6,000." "Let's see the $2 model," the customer says. The clerk puts the device around the man's neck. "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket," he says. "How does it work?" the customer asks. "For $2, it doesn't work," the salesman replies. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."
Tinnitus Cure The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes, Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists. But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
A mother had three very active boys. One afternoon, she was playing cops and robbers with them in the back yard. One of the boys "shot" his mother and yelled, "Bang! You're dead!" She slumped to the ground and when she didn't get up right away, a neighbor ran over to see if she had been hurt in the fall. When the neighbor bent over, the overworked mother opened one eye and said, "Shhh. Don't give me away. It's the only chance I've had to rest all day."
Thanks to Dad for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Crystal Lashanna Staples, 29, in Gainesville, Florida Burglar bleached victim's clothes GAINESVILLE, Fla. (UPI) -- Police in Florida said a burglar piled up clothing in her victim's home and poured bleach on the garments. Gainesville police said Crystal Lashanna Staples, 29, told them she broke a window at the residence of Reagan Brown but used a key to enter the home at 7:15 a.m. EST Monday, The Gainesville (Fla.) Sun reported Wednesday. S taples was arrested a couple of hours later. Investigators accuse Staples of stealing $650 worth of items, including two bags, a phone and keys, from the home. They allege she piled up $1,000 worth of clothes belonging to Brown and doused them in bleach. Staples, who has previous convictions for forgery, escape and grand fraud, was charged with burglary, grand theft and criminal mischief. Police said they were working to determine whether Staples and Brown were previously acquainted.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Harold Re: Invoices that are not PDF Dear Webby, We are doing our invoices as PDF files so that supposedly they can not be changed later. Well, nowadays there are lots of free programs, that can edit and even create PDF files. To add insult to injury, the PDF files take an awful lot of space and it wastes a lot of time making them. How do big companies handle that? Harold Dear Harold We post invoices in passworded folders on the web that can be viewed only by the person who gets an email link to their invoice. The email also carries the password. The invoice on the web can be printed by the clients, but they can not change things on them. Since on invoices the fancy header and the footer with the small print stays the same for every invoice, we have those parts on the net in two include files. Those are called by every invoice. There is no need to have those parts again and again separately for each invoice. The only thing the actual invoice file carries, is what is actually different for that particular invoice. And that is just a very tiny HTML file, typically 2-3 KB. By contrast, in PDF format the same invoice would take about 300 KB. If you use HTML invoices like that, then you can generate the fresh "content" that goes between the unchanging header and footer with any program you want, as long as it can make or fake an HTML table. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Two Irish farmers bought a truckload of watermelons at the docks, paying one dollar apiece for them. Then they drove to the market and sold all their melons for the SAME price ($1) they'd paid for them. After counting their money at the end of the day, they realize they'd ended up with no more money than they'd started with. "See!" said one. "I told you we shoulda got a bigger truck."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Air from Ziplock Bags We will never buy the vacuum seal machine and expensive bags because we vacuum seal the easy and frugal way. Place contents in a ziploc bag and immerse in a sink full of water, keeping opened end of bag just above the water line. The pressure of the water against the outside of the bag will force out all the air in it. And, voila, it's done. Zip shut and you're good to go! By annelaundrie from Green Bay, WI http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, the young lady decided she had been stood up. She changed from her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers, fixed some popcorn and resigned herself to an evening of TV. No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV than her doorbell rang. There stood her date. He took one look at her and gasped, "I gave you an extra two hours --and you're still not ready?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A Congressman is awakened in the middle of the night by his wife who whispers, "I think there's a thief in the house." "Not in the House," her husband says. "In the Senate, yes, my dear, but not in the House."

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Judgement 


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How to get into footer on old version of MS Word 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, January 16, 2011

Supposed to be a fairly mild day today, but right now, it's
still lightly overcast, with the moon just visible, and a low
ground fog.

On one side of me, where the street lights have motion
detectors, it's quite pretty. On the other side, the street
lights spoil it. They are still the old type, that waste 3/4 
of the electricity on light to the sides and have no motion
detectors. It took a lot of arguing to get them to start
using reasonably modern lights, but they sure are not
in any hurry to save money.! But at least they got started,
and hopefully wil continue!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
A leader leads by example, whether he intends to or not. --- Socratex "There are two sides to every issue: one side is right and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil." --- Ayn Rand
Some Taliban decide to start a chicken farm. They get some chickens and plant them in the ground, headfirst. When all the chickens die, the farmers are somewhat confused, but they don't give up. They get some more chickens, but these are planted feet-first. It takes a little longer, but eventually the second batch of chickens die, too. They decide to write a letter to the agriculture bureau. In the letter they explain in detail the procedures they have followed and their disappointing results. A few weeks later they receive this reply from the bureau: "Before we can advise you, please send us a soil sample."
Tinnitus Cure The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes, Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists. But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a cop, apparently waist deep in snow, directing traffic. Feeling sorry for him, the motorist called out "I'm sorry you have to work half buried in the snow." The cop called back "Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for my horse!"
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Stars circle around the north celestial pole above an old oak in Lindholmen, Sweden. Lindholmen is where Gustav Vasa was born. He became the king of Sweden from 1523 until his death and is cosidered as the most famous king of Sweden. As noted by the photographer "Gustav Vasa planted this oak, a really fantastic tree, about 500 years ago and you can see some of the ruin from the house where he lived to the left."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to William Peppers, 31 in South Morgan, Ill Skokie cop dresses up like pizza delivery man to bust customer Skokie police officers went undercover as Edwardo’s pizza delivery men after a man ordered a pizza and other food with a stranger’s credit card. The undercover operation on Jan. 8 included an officer wearing an Edwardo’s jacket — and putting an Edwardo’s sign on an unmarked squad car. Police said William Peppers, 31, of the 10200 block of South Morgan, tried three different credit cards when ordering $51 in food to a Skokie address. The first two cards were denied. The third belonged to a woman who had just reported fraudulent orders on her card, police said. Police were alerted and the officers took the pizza to Peppers. He waved them down and signed a receipt for the food. Then he was arrested, police said. He’s charged with felony forgery.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Fran Re: Get into footer on old version of MS WORD Dear Webby, I know you live on the web and probably don't even remember paper letters, but in my new job I have to write them. My boss told me to use a standard letter that they have been using for years, leave the header and footer and just paste in fresh content. Well, the footer has a typo in it, and I don't know how to get MS WORD to let me into the footer to fix that typo. Chances are, that merged footer was made with a version of WORD about 3-4 updates ago. If you can't figure a way to get into that footer, I don't know who can. Fran Dear Fran I think that is a Microsoft "feature" to not provide an icon or straighforward way to get into headers or footers made with previous versions of the same software. About the only way I know to get into them is to use the Find (CTRL F) and get it to find a word that is in the footer. Chances are that typo is nowhere else and it will find it fast. When it finds it, it will open the footer and you can edit it. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Sue wanted a haircut and phoned a salon early for an appointment but was told customers were taken on a walk-in basis only. On Saturday she got there by 9 a.m and there were already ten people waiting. Sue drove to another salon, but it was booked solid. Still another had no openings. The situation seemed hopeless, so she went home. Her husband greeted her at the door. "That was fast !" he said cheerfully. "And your hair looks great!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Prescription Bottles for Storing Quarters I take several prescriptions every month and I accumulate lots of empty bottles. Someone posted that these make nice places to hold screws, nails, etc. But what I use them for is storing my State quarters. Each bottle holds $10 worth of quarters. What makes this a frugal thing is that these can be grabbed for a quick last minute birthday gift. Take off the labels and if you desire you can decorate with contact type paper. College kids love getting quarters and so do younger kids. I also know of a place that does take the empty bottles to recycle to other nations. I have a bag full waiting to take. I think in my area this place only takes the bottles once a month on a specific day. By Patricia from Spring Lake, NC http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed. "Good heavens," he said, "what is this?" "It's bean soup," she replied. "I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary. She ignored the telephone when it rang. "You must answer the telephone," he told her irritably. "All right," she replied, "but it seems so silly. Nine times out of ten, it's for you!"

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Cold Weather Kit 

The Government has issued a travel warning due to the cold weather.

They suggest that anyone travelling in the current icy conditions should make sure they have the following:

Shovel Blankets or sleeping bag
Extra clothing including hat and gloves
24 hours worth of food
De-Icer
Rock Salt
Flashlight with spare batteries
Road Flares or Reflective Triangles
Empty gas Can
First Aid Kit
Booster cables.......

I looked like an idiot on the bus this morning !



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Fixing email font size problem 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Saturday, January 15, 2011

Heard somethin interesting about cellphone usage. In Europe some
educators noticed a drastic drop in attention span of about half the
girls, and they investigated. It wasn't dope, and the "normal" group
walked about with an intelligence prostesis pressed to the ear just like
them. After checking all kinds of potential causes they finally found
the only thing that separated the two groups.

The ones who showed a drastic drop in attention span and apparent
intelligence all slept with their cell phone or iPhone by their head,
either waiting for messages, listening to music, or expecting a
wake-up call. Somehow the minute and nearly harmless radiation
from the phone altered their sleeping patterns and made them
dopey during the day. They are going to try with some members
of the dopey group, to see if it is reversible and they become
bright and smart again, or if there is some permanent change.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him." --- Leo Aikman "Well done is better than well said." --- Benjamin Franklin Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings. --- Laurence J. Peter
Thanks to Dianne for this: The Government has issued a travel warning due to the cold weather. They suggest that anyone travelling in the current icy conditions should make sure they have the following: Shovel Blankets or sleeping bag Extra clothing including hat and gloves 24 hours worth of food De-Icer Rock Salt Flashlight with spare batteries Road Flares or Reflective Triangles Empty gas Can First Aid Kit Booster cables....... I looked like an idiot on the bus this morning !
Tinnitus Cure The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes, Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists. But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer in front of me had a large order. As the harried-looking clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way, sending the contents crashing to the floor. "They just don't make these bags like they used to," the clerk blurted to the customer. "That was supposed to happen in your driveway!"
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. Monarchs at Pismo Beach, CA
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Levar Bates, 33 in Allegheny County, PA Man In Court For Child Custody Hearing Busted on Open Warrant, Heroin Possession Levar Bates PENNSYLVANIA – A man arrested on an open warrant when he arrived to court for a child custody hearing was allegedly also carrying heroin and marijuana. The incident happened Monday at the Allegheny County Courthouse when 33-year-old Levar Bates arrived for a child custody hearing. Following routine procedure, deputies ran a check on Bates and found he was wanted on a bench warrant for Harassment and Terroristic Threats stemming from a December 5 incident with his ex-girlfriend. Deputies immediately approached Bates and took him into custody without incident. When they searched him, deputies allegedly recovered two knotted baggies containing 92 stamp bags of heroin with names varying from ‘Waka Flocka,’ ‘Try Again,’ and ‘Survivor.’ Along with the heroin, deputies located another three baggies of marijuana. Bates was transported to the Allegheny County Jail where he will be held without bond until his arraignment on the warrant and new charges of Possession with Intent to Deliver a Controlled Substance and two counts of Possession of a Controlled Substance.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sharon Re: Fix small email fonts Dear Webby; As for the font size I have hotmail, gmail & yahoo. When I need the font bigger I hit ctrl & the + sign at the same time. I may have to do it more than once to get it to the right size. Then if I it want it smaller I hit ctrl & the - sign. It works for me & it worked on a friend's laptop. Don't know if it works on Incredimail too or not but can't hurt to try it.. Have a purrfect day, Sharon Thanks Sharon! Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, then it is probably raining really hard. If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy. If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing. Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather. Sincerely, The CAT
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Frugal All Purpose Cleaner For a good all purpose cleaner, you need water and Ivory liquid dish soap. Fill a 32 ounce spray bottle nearly full with water. Add a squirt or two of Ivory Liquid Dish soap. Put the sprayer back on and gently shake the bottle until the soap has been evenly distributed. Use Ivory because most other dish soaps leave behind a filmy residue. Ivory is especially safe for Corian, marble, and wood counter tops and butcher blocks. It's also safe to use on brass or gold plated faucets. By Jodi from Aurora , CO http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
"What do you love most about me," a husband asked his wife, "my tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?" "What I love most about you," responded the man's wife, "is your incredible sense of humor."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside. One deacon ducked down and said, "I hope the reverend didn't see us or recognize my pickup." The other replied indifferently, "What difference does it make. God knows we're in here... and he's the only one who counts." The first deacon countered, "But God won't tell my wife."

» The joy of baking





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Small fonts in mail 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Friday, January 14, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!


To Alissee
No, the crossed zero smbol Ř in somebody's signature block
is not a sign of a secret cult. It's just a symbol for the slogan 
"No Obama". And it does not imply any illegal action, just
how people intend to vote. And it does not mean membership
in the TeaParty or any other party. From what I can tell,
no party has officialy adopted that symbol or is promoting it,
thereby leaving it free to use by anybody. 

You wil not be accused of being a Tea partier if you use it, 
since a lot of disenchanted Democrats are using it too.

As for how to type that symbol, it is really easy on a normal
keyboard, but a real nuisane on a laptop, since you need the
numeric keypad for it. Turn on NumLock,
hold down the ALT key, and type 0216
That produces Ř , when you let go of the ALT key.

If you use a laptop, then the easiest method is to go to
http://webby.com/char
and copy it from there. It is at the top of the fourth column.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"A life without happiness is empty, but Happiness can only be found within." --- Marie-France
Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can't they do without you at work? Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.
Tinnitus Cure The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes, Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists. But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
Thanks to Bob for this story: After booking my 80-year-old mother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. The representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and severely impaired vision. My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely. "Oh, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up when she cheerfully asked, "And will your mother need a rental car?"
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Chris Brooks Heuring, 27, of rural Benton, MO Wrong way to shop at mcDonalds BENTON, Mo. -- A Scott County man is facing charges after allegedly backing up demands for fast food with a shotgun. Chris Brooks Heuring, 27, of rural Benton is charged with unlawful use of a weapon and driving while intoxicated. Scott County Sheriff Rick Walter said his department received a call at about 11:40 p.m. Saturday regarding a man with a shotgun at the drive-through window of the McDonald's restaurant on Highway 77 at the Interstate 55 interchange at Benton. "They had told him the store was closed," Walter said. "He demanded one of the employees to open the window." The employee reportedly responded by advising only the manager could open the window. "He told the employee he wanted food and pointed the shotgun at that time," Walter said. "He said, 'If I don't bring some food home for my wife, she's going to kill me.' At that point, the employees didn't want to stick around to listen to any more demands." Walter said the employees backed away from the window to get out of the possible line of fire. A deputy who was about a minute away responded, according to Walter, and upon arriving was able to hold the suspect at gunpoint until the sheriff and two more deputies arrived. "At that point we brought him out of the car and took him into custody without incident," he said. Walter said the employees did the right thing by calling the sheriff and locking themselves in an interior room until authorities arrived. "The shotgun was loaded and there was a round chambered," he noted. As of press time, Heuring remained at the Scott County Jail with a cash or surety bond set at $5,000.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Larry Re: Mail fonts too small Dear Webby I'm having another problem. Hopefully you can help me out. 2 days ago, my text on my email god smaller and I can't enlarge it. I've been trying since then to enlarge it but can't find out how to do it. I know, I have incredimail. LOL. Larry Dear Larry I have absolutely no clue about Incredimail. On Eudora you would hold down CTRL and scroll the scroll wheel to zoom, just like you do on browsers. Eudora had that since scroll wheels were invented, but not all programs have copied that yet. Try Incredimail support. Maybe they know. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little more than jealous of his new baby sister. The parents sat him down and said that now that she was getting older, the house was too small and they'd have to move. "It's no use." Robbie said, "She's crawling good now and she'd probably just follow us."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Toiletries in Small Tote Each of our 3 children has a small plastic tote (like the ones to hold cleaning supplies) stored in our hall linen closet to take into the bathroom. They keep all of their toiletries (including combs, medications and toothbrush/ toothpaste) in these totes. I got the idea from my dorm days when we had to hike down the hall to the showers. It really saves room in our small bathroom, and the tote can be ported to the kitchen or downstairs bath if necessary. By Lori L from Minneapolis, MN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did *I* get the ticket?" "Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man. "Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied. The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch *all* the fish?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Judge: You are charged with habitual drunkenness. Have you anything to say in your defense? Defendant: Habitual thirstiness?

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Penguin 

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.

After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot.

He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says,

"It looks like you blew a seal."

"No, no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."


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On Global Warming 



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Dog Days-How Training Benefits Both Pet Owners And Pets 



Welcome!
Whether you are a new pet owner or you have had a pet in your home for some time, you know how delightful, and frustrating, owning a pet can be.

The joy of bringing a new puppy or dog into your household can be insurmountable. After all, there is no relationship quite like the one that is developed between you and your dog.

A dog can provide unconditional love, hours of entertainment, and genuine friendship. Or, a dog can provide unconditional messes, hours of destruction, and a genuine nuisance!

How do you ensure that your dog behaves in the manner of the first scenario described above? If you are thinking that the answer is "breed" you are partially correct. Indeed, breed does play a role in a dog's behavior. But an even greater factor in the dog's behavior is based on the training he receives. Good dog training resources can go a long way toward helping.

The Benefits of Training
If you are like most people, you are extremely busy. Some days, there just doesn't seem like enough hours to take care of yourself, let alone a dog! But, the time that you spend training your dog will reward you and your relationship for many, many years to come.

There are five main benefits of training:
1. It builds a relationship. 2. It corrects behavioral problems. 3. It stimulates intellect. 4. It encourages inclusion. 5. It saves time. Let's explore each benefit in further detail.

1. Training Builds a Relationship.
There is no better way to create a bond with your dog than through the process of training. You may think that training begins at the time you decide to try new tricks, but it actually begins at the very moment you acquire your dog.

Your dog is constantly watching you and learning from your actions. He learns from the way you react to his actions. He looks to you for guidance, for food, for warmth, for comfort, and for playtime.

2. Training Corrects Behavioral Problems.
Barking at anyone who passes by the front window, chewing up your favorite pillows, digging through your freshly planted garden, bolting out of an open door...do any of these actions look familiar to you?

When you have developed a trusting bond with your dog, you can teach him how to correct these behavioral problems. He will learn by your reactions whether or not his actions are acceptable to you. No doubt, he will test his limits!

3. Training Stimulates Intellect.

Yes, it is true that dogs are very curious creatures. With exposure to so many unusual smells, sights, and sounds, dogs can't help but want to explore. It's in their nature!

Most dogs have the capacity to be very intelligent. But, they need to be stimulated first, and then they will be motivated to learn. Training is a huge benefit for stimulating your dog's intellect.

4. Training Encourages Inclusion.
The sense of "inclusion" is very important to a dog's security. From the earliest days of being a part of a litter, your dog feels comfortable being a part of the pack. That includes the pack of your household.

You may be the primary dog trainer, but everyone in your family or household should take the time to train your dog. When he receives this undivided attention from everyone, he feels like part of the pack.

5. Training Saves Time.
Another huge benefit of training your dog is that it saves you time. Taking the time to train your dog now, will actually save you time in the long run. For example, if you take the time to train your dog to behave properly inside the house, you will actually be saving time cleaning up mischievous messes that he could create in the future-if he didn't have the training.

Sharda Baker


Sharda Baker has published several dog ebook and audios.
Click Here for more dog training help and advice.


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Metered Internet 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Thursday, January 13, 2011

Today the topic of online petitions came up again.
They are a waste of time.at best, and usually just phishing
for addresses to send junkmail and spam to. Nobody gives
a hoot about how many names are on an online petition.
They count about as much as comments on a news story.
Good for a chuckle, if some comments are funny, but that's
it.

An online petition to stop Verizon and Sprint from metering
and billing movie pirates and spammers more than they bill you,
is taken about as seriously as a petition to have the outside 
temperature raised. The same applies to any other online
petition.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Heredity: Everyone believes in it until their children act like idiots! --- Socratex Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles. --- Pat Paulsen
Here is one that I re-wrote and shortened to this form a few years ago and that came back today: A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go fix them a couple drinks. As he's standing there he notices a cute little vase on the mantel. He picks it up and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says, "What's this?" She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there." He turns beet red and says, "Gee, oh...I'm sorry...I..." She continues, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray."
Tinnitus Cure The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes, Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists. But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood. About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his trunk! He runs around and yells, "Hey, bud,this is my car!" "OK," the man says, "You take the front and I`ll take the back."
Thanks to Dad for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. This Easter Cactus normally blooms in April, but something spooked it and caused it to bloom yesterday.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Steve, the lawnmower DUI guy from southern Louisiana DUI on Scissor-Lift Steve from South Louisiana, just can’t seem to stay out of trouble with the law and has been arrested again, this time for taking a scissor lift on a beer run. Steve can’t get it through his thick head even after his original Lawnmower DUI that he shouldn’t be driving these things on the road. Watch the video of his latest arrest at Steves Scissorlift DUI arrest
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Petition against metered Internet Dear Webby What do you make of this? Truth or Fiction (I couldn't find it on their site) (Link to a phony petition against metered Internet access) Thanks. Ann Dear Ann Read the small print of your contract with Shaw. Your account has always been metered. You get x number o Gigabytes file transfer included in your contract, and pay extra for anything above that. Same with Telus. Only some of the exorbitantly priced business accounts are unmetered and unlimited. There is nothing wrong with metering. Why should YOU pay for the kid next door downloading two dozen pirated movies every night and sending them to a hundred buddies, or for the spammer across the street? The metering simply ensures that those, who have ridiculously high transfer rates, pay for their usage, instead of their cost getting spread over everybody else's bill, including yours. By the way, the Shaw installer, who was supposed to connect me to Shaw last Friday, and instead went to Drumheller, 100 miles NorthEast from here, and left a door knob hanger at somebody's house there, still has not found Black Diamond. Maybe the big boys told Shaw that Shaw is not allowed in this area. Who knows? Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
A taxicab went out of control and raced crazily through traffic. "Can't you stop it?" the passenger yelled at the driver. "No!" shouted the driver. "Well," said the passenger, "at least turn off the meter!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Toiletries in Small Tote Each of our 3 children has a small plastic tote (like the ones to hold cleaning supplies) stored in our hall linen closet to take into the bathroom. They keep all of their toiletries (including combs, medications and toothbrush/ toothpaste) in these totes. I got the idea from my dorm days when we had to hike down the hall to the showers. It really saves room in our small bathroom, and the tote can be ported to the kitchen or downstairs bath if necessary. By Lori L from Minneapolis, MN http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer's down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. What'll it be?" The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains." "So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest. The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week 'count,' St. Peter?" "No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing." "In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud." "So be it" says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears. A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks. "The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult." "Why?" asketh the Lord. "He's on a studded snow tire, somewhere in Montana."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted: "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted." The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."

» Big Puddy Tats





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Breaking News 

The Washington Post

The Arctic ocean is warming up, icebergs are growing scarcer and in some places the seals are finding the water too hot, according to a report to the Commerce Department yesterday from Consulafft, at Bergen , Norway .

Reports from fishermen, seal hunters and explorers all point to a radical change in climate conditions and hitherto unheard-of temperatures in the Arctic zone.

Exploration expeditions report that scarcely any ice has been met as far north as 81 degrees 29 minutes. Soundings to a depth of 3,100 meters showed the gulf stream still very warm.

Great masses of ice have been replaced by moraines of earth and stones, the report continued, while at many points well known glaciers have entirely disappeared.

Very few seals and no white fish are found in the eastern Arctic, while vast shoals of herring and smelts which have never before ventured so far north, are being encountered in the old seal fishing grounds.


Within a few years it is predicted that due to the ice melt the sea will rise and make most coastal cities uninhabitable.





Oops! Never mind.

This report was from November 2, 1922, as reported by the Associated Press and published in the Washington Post - 88 years ago!


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She can't find her mail 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Wednesday, January 12, 2011

It warmed up briefly to -17 in the afternoon, but then quickly
coled off again. Well, that's to be expected in winter. 
I DID notice, though, that the days are getting longer!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was. --- Margaret Mitchell Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy when they are writing and because the memos, once written, immediately become proof that they were busy. --- Charles Peters We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can. --- Cullen Hightower
As a token of appreciation for their excellent work Gary and Bill got invited to a convention in New York City. There they were wined and dined by the top brass. When they finally staggered out into fresh air, Bill crossed the street, while Gary stumbled into a subway entrance. When Bill reached the other side, he noticed Gary emerging from the subway stairs. "Where've you been?" Bill slurred. "I don't know," replied Gary, "but you should see the train set that guy has in his basement."
Tinnitus Cure The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes, Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists. But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
A son and father went to see a doctor since the father was getting very ill. The doctor told the father and son that the father was dying from cancer. The father who was an Irishman, turned to his son and said "Son, even on this gloomy day, its our tradition to drink to health as it is in death; so let's go to the pub and celebrate my demise." Reluctantly, the son followed his father to the local pub. After they left, the son turned to his father and said, "Father, it is not AIDS you are dying from. It is cancer, why did you lie to those men?" The father reply's "Aye, my son, you are right; but I know those guys, and I don't want any of those guys getting close to your mom when I'm gone. I KNOW her rolling pin swing and know she would wind up in jail over it, and then you, poor lad, would be all alone on this sad old world."
Thanks to Betty for this picture: Click through the picture to the large version. View from Vancouver Island towards Saltspring Island
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jerry Wayne Means, South Charleston, VA Man Pays for Stolen Car with Meth SOUTH CHARLESTON, W. Va. (WSAZ) -- A man caught with a stolen car told police he bought the vehicle from a woman using meth as payment. West Virginia State Police out of South Charleston tells WSAZ.com Jerry Wayne Means was driving down I-77 around 11:20 Saturday night. The Oldsmobile Intrigue Means was driving came up stolen on a trooper's mobile plate hunter. Means was pulled over and arrested near Oakridge Apartments on US-119. While in police custody, Means admitted he rented the car from a woman and used $50 bags of meth as payment. Means later told police he bought the car for two grams of meth. Means was charged with possession of a stolen vehicle, delivery of methamphetamine and not having an operational drivers license. In lieu of an arraignment, Means was taken to South Central Regional Jail.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Esther Re: Can't find the mail I can't find a place to open up and get the email Dear Esther If you can't find and open my reply, then you got a big problem. If you just can't find your subscription, look in the SPAM. Sending it from SPAM to INBOX will usually fix that problem, but you may have to make a filter in Gmail, so that it NEVER puts mail from humor@webby.com into SPAM. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Things weren't going too well in the Sunday School class. Nobody seemed to recall the identity of Matthew. Nor did they do any better with Mark. Finally, the teacher said hopefully, "Surely somebody remembers Peter!" A small boy in the last row came to the rescue. "Teacher," he piped, "wasn't he a wabbit?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Add Handles To Flat Templates I will be cutting and selling appliques for etsy.com very soon. However, it's hard to find shapes I love that are not flat. So, I went and found some wooden shapes very cheap, and made "handles" for them from bottle caps. All I needed was some contact cement and a day to dry. Now, I can draw around them to my hearts content! If you have something similar like hard cardboard or plastic canvas, and you want to streamline your projects, this will help. If you are working with plastic canvas, make sure you remember not to leave the plastic on paper, fabric, or good furniture, as the glue will ooze through the grids. Source: My own need to pick them up and put them down easier, saving my nails and my sanity! By Sandi from Yorktown, VA http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable. "Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed. Joseph said, "Write that one down, Mary; it's a lot better than Bubba ."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie popped up out of his ashtray and said, "And what will your third wish be?" The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting a third wish when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?" "You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing, because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes. You now have one wish left." "Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the heck. I wish I were irresistible to women." "Funny," said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared forever. "That was your first wish, too!"

» Winter Wonder Land





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Croc Found In Local River 

Croc Found In Local River


I don't usually post these things because so many are fake, but this one appears legit.



This really freaks me out!




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How to print a small book 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Tuesday, January 11, 2011

I want to apologize to Hank in Alabama. I did by no means
want to imply, that all of Alabama was technologically backward.
I used Alabama as an example of great crontrast between 
hightech and forgotten low-tech islands. 

Those hillbilly areas are by no means more numerous in Alabama
than elsewhere, but because of the very high technology in the
rest of the state, the contrast seems higher.

It is the same here in Canada. 18 Miles away people can get
20 or 100 Mbps and even Gigabit connections, yet the same
ISP can't even find my town. DUH!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"We start with gifts. Merit comes from what we make of them." --- Jean Toomer Great minds have purposes; little minds have wishes. Little minds are subdued by misfortunes; great minds rise above them. --- Washington Irving
The man told his doctor he wasn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination was complete, he said, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what's wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "You're just a plain lazy old fart." "I was afraid you would say that." said the man. "Now give me the medical term, so I can tell my wife!"
Google Redirect Virus Remover If Google, Bing or Yahoo send your browser to the wrong sites, the Google Redirect Virus Remover will fix that. This one is not free, but neither is fixing a flat. This deal will come off tonight. Get it today, or pay retail.
The doctor said he would have me walking in two weeks." "Was he successful?" "Yup, I had to sell my car to pay his bill!"
Thanks to Christine for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Troy Sandifar, 45 in Bradenton, FL Woman spots husband on bank robbery surveillance photo, calls police BRADENTON, Fla. — Police say a man confessed to robbing a bank after his wife saw a surveillance photo on the evening news and alerted authorities. A camera snapped a clear shot of the man with a pony tail and scruffy beard robbing the First Bank in Bradenton Tuesday morning. The robber sprinted down the street clutching money in his fists and got away despite efforts from a K-9 unit and SWAT team. Manatee County Sheriff's officials got their big break Tuesday evening when Afra Sandifar saw a news report about the bank robbery. She called authorities and told them her husband was the robber. That's when 45-year-old Troy Sandifar fled the couple's apartment. Deputies stopped his vehicle but Sandifar refused to get out. They say he ingested what appeared to be rock cocaine before they were able to arrest him. He was taken to the hospital, where authorities say he confessed.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Guinn Re: Printing a small book Dear Webby, I have a problem. I want to print a short document, about ten pages, on 8 1/2 x 11 paper but I need it to be 2 "pages" to the sheet, each side. I would like to print it so that it could be read book style ie all pages in order with no blank pages. I use Open Office Writer per your suggestion. Any help will be appreciated. Thank you, Guinn Dear Guinn You mean like Clickbook does it? Clickbook makes you select one of over 170 formats. In your case, that would be 4 pages per sheet, front and back, folded pocket book. If the book had 450 pages and you wanted to cut and edge glue them with hotmelt glue, then you would select the same, but cut pocket book. Don't worry, it's not alphabetical, it's all nicely sorted into categories. The initial set-up is a bit tedious and takes a few minutes. It makes you print a test page and asks you where on it you see a square or arrow. Then it tells you to drop it straight down into the input tray, without turning or flipping. There are about four steps to that, until it has totally figured out your printer and how you set it up. After that, whenever you print, it does one side of the book, then tells you to drop the entire output stack straight down into the input tray, and it does the back sides, with ALL the numbers matching perfectly. There is a lot of math to that, but all it tells you is: Drop the stack from the output tray straight down into the input tray. In case you don't have an air nailer to shoot staples through the fold, they have a good deal on long reach staplers. That's optional, you don't have to buy their stapler. I have used ClickBook since the days of noisy Dot-Matrix printers, and just moved it from one computer to the next, whenever a computer wore out. As far as the word processor or spreadsheet or PPS or whatever is concerned, you just select ClickBook as the printer, and hit Print. Clickbook then asks you what format you want, you select that and hit OK. That's all there is to it. By the way, you can tell Clickbook to do the page numbering too. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. There is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old already in the cell. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Drain Browned Ground Beef in a Colander When using ground beef cooked for a soup, spaghetti or tacos etc., drain the hamburger through a colander before adding to your recipe. This takes away the extra fat and tastes great, even in chili. By 123helen from Senoia, GA Don't get too fanatic about that! The body needs a bit of fat for energy, otherwise it will scrounge energy producing stuff and/or stash fat for emergencies, which won't happen. If you drain off all the fat and pour it over dry dog food, your dog will be trim and energetic, but you won't be. Share some, but don't give away all of it. You can sprinkle a little bit of flour and/or paprika over it and stir it until the flour has been toasted and is nicely brown. By that time it has absorbed most or all of the fat. Real chefs then carefully pour some water or soup stock onto it and let the steam "explosion" tear apart any flour balls, that may be still present. Use a long hadled ladle for that. Have FUN! DearWebby http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Wife: "Doctor My husband thinks he's a satellite dish." Doctor: "Don't worry i can cure him." Wife: "I don't want him cured i want you to adjust him to get the movie channel."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"Earl says he used to yearn for a pretty women .....now the "Y" is silent"

» Icy Plant Photos





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I Have No Words 


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Laptop for wireless connection 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Monday, January 10, 2011

There sure is a huge difference in how the shooting in Arizona is 
reported in the US versus how it is shown in the rest of the world.

In the US it's all about poor Gabby, a two-bit windbag who fought
against the Arizona Law and then in the November election claimed
she was for a stronger federal immigration law (that would try to
do, what the Arizona Law has in it). And of course, the 9 year old,
who was born on 9/11.

In the International press, it's about the assassination of a 
top US Federal Judge for the State of Arizona, barely 72-hours 
after he made a critical ruling against the Obama administrations 
plan to begin the confiscation of their citizen’s private retirement 
and banking accounts in order to stave off their nations 
imminent economic collapse, 
and after having the US Marshals protecting him suddenly removed.

The International press lists the 9 year old, who was born on 9/11,
and Gabby and the other victims as colorful ,innocent bystanders, 
but they do mention that the “handler” of the shooter, described 
as a white male between 40-50 years old with dark hair,
has disappeared without a trace.

And the Social networking Arm of the Democrats is frantically
trying to blame Sarah Palin, which I find rather funny.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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please donate what you can!
"Never let yesterday use up too much of today." --- Will Rogers The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think. --- Edwin Schlossberg
Scott and Peter had applied for jobs at a large company and had to take an intelligence test. They each found the test a breeze, except that they admitted to being momentarily stumped by the final question: "Name a 14 letter word for someone in charge of a plant." "How did you answer that last one?" asked Scott. "I was a bit puzzled at first, but then I thought of Superintendent." "I think I got it right too," said Pete, "but I wrote down Horticulturist."
Google Redirect Virus Remover If Google, Bing or Yahoo send your browser to the wrong sites, the Google Redirect Virus Remover will fix that. This one is not free, but neither is fixing a flat. This deal will only be here for two days.
Before his daring escape from prison, an infamous criminal had been photographed from four different angles. The FBI sent copies of the pictures to police chiefs all across the land, with orders to notify Washington the moment an arrest was made. The next day, the Bureau received a faxed reply from the ambitious sheriff of a small Alabama town: "PICTURES RECEIVED. ALL FOUR SHOT DEAD WHILE RESISTING ARREST."
Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael A. Davis, 24, in Bellwood, Ill Burger King robbery suspect nabbed when cab doesn't wait Jan 6, 2011 (ELMWOOD PARK) Two men hid in the bathroom of a west suburban Burger King, then robbed employees at knifepoint Wednesday night. One of the men is in custody after the cab he was planning to use for a getaway car did not wait near the scene. Michael A. Davis, 24, of the 300 block of 25th Ave. in Bellwood, was charged with two counts of armed robbery in connection with the incident at the Burger King at 1750 Harlem Ave., according to Elmwood Park police. Davis and another man allegedly entered the restaurant about 15 minutes before the 10 p.m. closing time and hid in a bathroom. A few minutes after closing, they emerged with knives and demanded employees open the safe and get down on the floor. Elmwood Park police officer Carlos Rodriguez, the first to arrive on the scene, said the men stole an undetermined amount of cash and two cell phones. “I was a couple of blocks away when the call came in,” Rodriguez said. “When I pulled up to the scene, the witnesses were outside. “The witnesses said the offenders headed westbound on Bloomingdale,” Rodriguez said. “When the other (departments) arrived, they set up a perimeter and began searching through the yards.” By 10:22 p.m. Elmwood Park officer Nicholas Ramirez had Davis in custody following a foot chase that ended in a parking lot on the 1600 block of Harlem Avenue. Davis allegedly told police he took a taxi from Bellwood and told the driver to wait at Wabansia Avenue and 72nd Court, Deputy Police Chief Frank Fagiano said. “Obviously after 30 minutes, the taxi driver didn’t wait,” Fagiano said. “Officer Ramirez brought the suspect back to the scene, where he was positively identified by the witnesses,” Rodriguez said. Police recovered the stolen cash and phones, which were in a back pack, and a utility knife, Fagiano said. Fagiano said the department is following leads on the second suspect and has turned over the information to the department’s investigations division.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Chuck Re: Wireless laptop Dear Webby, I am taking a long journey into the unknown. As an old man I'd like to communicate both with Fatimah in Syria and my next of kin here. A cell phone is out of the question. So my next choice is a laptop. Having been a pc man I'm now thrust into my first laptop. So here goes my questions. First; as I travel does the laptop automatically pick up a signal, or do you need a service like a cell phone. 10/100/1000 Ethernet, 802.11b/g Wireless 802.11a/b/g/n wireless Which of these two are the better choice? and what service would allow me to go online no matter where I am in my travels? Thank you, cjw Dear Chuck There is not much difference in those specs. All modern laptops will connect to wireless hotspots. The problem is that not all hotspots are free. Some are outrageously expensive! You will need to sign up with an ISP in Syria. Keep in mind that Syria is like Alabama. You have hi-tech and high standard areas right next to very primitive hillbilly areas, and can't generalize from the distance. You can have 20 - 100 Mbps town wide wireless in one town, and be lucky to get 14 Kbps dial-up in the next one. Any modern PC Laptop should do fine, but you yourself should try to get as much experience connecting to hotspots and wireless ISPs as possible, before you go on your trip. Have FUN! DearWebby
Win at Lotteries The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto. Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System! 1 Minute Setup. Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991. Your Turn to win!
Judge: "What's your age? Accused: "Twenty-nine sir." Judge: "That's what you've been telling us for the last ten years." Accused: "That's right, sir. I'm not the type that says one thing today and another tomorrow."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Trade Unwanted Stuff With Friends One person's junk is the next person's treasure. The things you don't use around the house anymore and that wind up in a cupboard or garage, may make someone the happy owner of something they can really enjoy and/or use. And the cost is nothing. My friends and I get together once a year and trade stuff. Anything goes: clothes, dishes and kitchenware, linens, small furniture, knick knacks, etc. I keep a box in the spare bedroom closet for those items I don't care for anymore and know that it will get moved along the next time we have our get-together. The fun part is that we enjoy an afternoon together and come home with "new" stuff that didn't cost a cent. It's double the fun when you see something of yours being enjoyed in your friend's home. By Mlina from Amherstburg, ON http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
"No need for me to come out to the house," the doctor told the worried caller. "I've checked my files and your uncle isn't really ill at all - he just thinks he's sick." A week later, the doctor telephoned to make sure his diagnosis had been correct. "How's your uncle today?" he asked. "Worse," came the reply. "Now he acts like he's dead."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Overheard at the post office.... "My doctor told me to take something for my cold." "What did you take" "His Mercedes!"

» Skocjan Caves





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BitTorrent Interference 



Zoom the font size for best readability   
Good Morning,  !
It's Sunday, January 9, 2011

Thank you, Gerard!
Thank you Richard!

We had a wicked blizzard today. Snow devils moved down the
whole length of the football field across the street in 1 1/2 seconds.
The wind was 60, gusting to 75, and the Gullible Warming
manifested itself as rather rude chilling. Got another big snow
drift beside the garage, but as long as the tall wheelie bin still
sticks out a bit, I am looking at it as more of a photographic
challenge than a shoveling chore. It is supposed to get clear
and sunny on Tuesday.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


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You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic. --- Doris Egan Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. --- Laurence J. Peter Fear induced belief is impervious to logic. --- Napoleon
An English landowner and his Irish manservant ran into each other in hell one day. "My lord," the Irishman exclaimed, "what are you doing down here?" The landowner sighed. "I'm here because I lied, cheated, and stole to pay the debts run up by that playboy son of mine. But you were a faithful, loyal servant. Why are you here?" "For fathering that playboy son of yours," the Irishman replied, "and knocking op his mistresses."
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A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel. The new bride is concerned and asked, "What if the place is still bugged?" The groom says "Hmm... Good point. I'll look for a bug." He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug... "AHA!" he shouts! Sure enough, under the rug was a small disc shaped plate, with four screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, throws them and the plate out the window. The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds "How was your room? How was the service? How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?" Curious, the groom says, "And why, sir, are you asking me all of these questions?" The hotel manager says "Well, the room UNDER yours complained of the chandelier falling on them!"
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture: Click through the picture to the large version.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jonothan Ray Gonsalez, of Box Elder, Montana Man with warrants gives false name during traffic stop - of guy who was also wanted GREAT FALLS, Mont. - Authorities say a man who had three outstanding warrants for his arrest gave officers a false name during a traffic stop — but ended up in custody anyway because that man was also wanted. Court records say that during a traffic stop Monday in Great Falls, Jonothan Ray Gonsalez, of Box Elder, told police that his name was Timothy Michael Koop Jr. Because he looked like a potentially illegal immigrant, it is not politically correct to ask him for ID. Only citizens and tourists get asked for ID. The officer learned a man by that name was wanted in Hill County and arrested him. Police say a search of Gonsalez after his arrest turned up half a gram of methamphetamine in his jacket pocket and he was charged with criminal possession of dangerous drugs. The Great Falls Tribune reports Gonsalez gave his real name on Tuesday, so a charge of issuing a false report to law enforcement was added.
From the Tech Support Pits: From: Arturas Re: BitTorrent Dear Webby, Two questions. Thanks for the help. Arturas One: Avast sent this message: Avast! has detected a secure connection from your mail program (process BitTorrent.exe) to the POP server 76.10.164.202 (teksavvy.com) This type of connection cannot be checked for viruses. Please disable SSL/TLS in your mail client so that the Mail Scanner can scan your mail. The Mail Scanner will provide the SSL/TLS security itself. So should I follow this instruction or ignore it. Two:I got this error message today - repeatedly. Any idea off the top of your head what this is? Could it be that the processor needs to be cleaned on this laptop? OS: Windows XP Home Edition, SP3 CPU: GenuineIntel, Intel P6 (Model 13), MMX @ 1733 MHz Application data: VmVyc2lvbjogV2xGQlhVSlFWRlphUkU1RFJrTlZKQ2xTT3lRN1ZpQXN...... ....... Dear Arturas BitTorrent is a peer-to-peer file sharing protocol used for distributing large amounts of (usually pirated) music and movies. Somebody else is in control of your computer and installed that, so that they can use your computer as a relay for distributing their stuff. While you got the back door wide open, expect all kinds of weird stuff. It may be a relatively friendly (voluntarily installed) installation of BitTorrent, but somebody left the back door open. Back up your data. The bad guys did, but they are not likely to help you. Then do whatever is necessary, to regain control of your machine. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Zeb absolutely hated his wife Susan's dog decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the dog was walking up the driveway. The next day, he decided to drive the dog 40 blocks away and the same again. Driving back up his driveway, there was the dog! He kept taking the dog further and further and the darn dog would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the dog there. Hours later, the Zeb called home to Susan: "Susan, is the dog there?" "Yes", the Susan answered..."why do you ask?" Frustrated, Zeb answered: "Send him to fetch me. I'm lost and need directions!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Sticky Notes at an Angle My mother uses a unique way to remember things she has to do or appointments she has to keep. She writes them on a sticky note, and places them at an ANGLE on a cupboard, mirror, fridge, etc. Having them at an angle makes you notice them as they are not level. To most people this is annoying and therefore you notice them every time you go by. No more forgotten to do lists! By Tammy from Drain, OR http://www.thriftyfun.com/ Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun Highly recommended! If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
One day at lunchtime at a restaurant near the college I saw three students hard at work on their calculators. Surprised that they had received such an obviously intersting problem to keep them working at it even during lunch time, I asked them what their assignment was. One girl looked at me and replied, "We're figuring out how many days until spring break."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Little Bobbie went to a church conference with his parents.. He got restless, so his mother dug into her voluminous purse and found him a pad and pencil and suggested he mark down every time the preacher said the word "and." After a while, he grew bored, and she asked, "Do you want to listen for a different word?" "Yes," he said, none too quietly, "I want to hear 'AMEN!!!'."

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