Gmail TABS and Filters 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, July 26.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Thank you, Dr Bill!

Have FUN!
DearWebby

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I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am. --- Bernard M. Baruch (1870 - 1965) Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. --- W. C. Fields
Three Pastors in the South were having lunch in a diner. One said "You know, since summer started I've been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I've tried everything--noise, spray, cats--nothing seems to scare them away." Another said "Yea, me too. I've got hundreds living in my belfry and in the narthex attic. I've even had the place fumigated and they won't go away." The third said, "I baptized all mine, made them members of the church and asked for donations. Haven't seen one back since!"
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A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was no where to be found. Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes returned with the lens in her hand. "How did you manage to find it, Mom?" the teenager asked. "We weren't looking for the same thing," she replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Aaron Little, 37, Seattle, Washington Sex Offender Charged With Peeking Up Woman's Skirt, Groping Her During Church Service Reported by The Weekly Vice Aaron Little, a 37-year-old registered sex offender, was jailed after he allegedly sexually assaulted a woman during Sunday church service. According to police, Little was sitting behind a woman during a 9:30 a.m. church service when he lifted up the back of her skirt and peeked at her underwear when the congregation stood up to sing a hymn. Although the victim didn't realize that Little was getting a gander at her nether regions, several of the woman's relatives did. The woman's relatives frog marched Little to the door and booted him out of service, however, Little ran through another church entrance and sat down next to the woman before her relatives returned to their seats. That's when Little lifted up the woman's skirt a second time and groped her. Several congregation members dog-piled Little and held him until police arrived on the scene. Little was booked into the King County Jail and charged with suspicion of rape. --------- The bonehead needs to have his head examined! Even if she was wearing a poodle skirt, a peek at her undies and a quick grope was most definitely not worth getting tenderized by a herd of relatives and yhrn the cops, and most likely spending 5 - 10 years in jail. Tech Support Pits From: Alice Re: Gmail Tabs and filters Dear Webby, I agree with you, those Gmail Tabbies are a bloody nuisance for anybody, who gets a serious amount of email. Their totally useless edict from their "mail-noreply@google.com" frosted my buns too. I sure appreciate it, that you showed me how to get rid of those dumb tabbies. Now I got a Gmail related question, that is probably really easy for you: How do I make a filter, to keep something out of the SPAM? Thanks Alice Dear Alice Click the little bicycle sprocket near the right top and select Settings In there you see a line menu at the top and another one just below the bicycle sprocket. In that second line menu the fifth item from the left is Filters. Click on that, and scroll down to the bottom, There you see a tiny line that says Create a new filter. It is not underlined, but is a link. No, I don't know why they are not competent enough to show links underlined. Maybe they want to confuse people. Hit that not underlined link. That gets you to a very crude filter form, well crude when compard to MailWasher, where you just pull down the options, and where you can use regular expressions like IF - BUT NOT, AND, etc. Enter the information, that you want the filter to use, into that little filter form. Don't let that magnifying glass tempt you into testing your criteria. That has not worked right for years. If you do, your carefully made filter gets trashed. Just tell it to contine. Then you can tell it what to do with found mails. Usually all you use Gmail filters for is to keep good mail OUT of the Spam folder. Gmail is pretty good at recognizing spam, but frequently a bit too eager. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Repair a Large Screw Hole With Rope If you have a hole that is to large for a screw, just put a piece of natural rope into the hole. I like jute or cotton rope the best. I tried toothpicks and wooden matches at first, but I've since found that rope works far better because it wraps itself around the screw so it fits tightly into the threads! By JLS Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
The young suitor was determined to win the heart of the woman he wanted to marry, in spite of her rejection of his proposal. He began what can only be called a "Campaign" and sent her a token of his affection every day for a month to her house. The plan was successful too -- the young lady fell in love with the UPS man.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The census taker knocked on an old lady's door. He asked her several questions and she answered all of them except one. She refused to tell him her age. "But everyone tells their age to the census taker," he said. "Did Miss Maisy Hill and Miss Daisy Hill tell you their ages?" she asked stubbornly. "Certainly," the census taker replied. Then the lady snapped, "Well, I'm the same age as they are." So, the census taker remarked: OK, I'll put down, "As old as the Hills."
» Heraceleion Below Sea

Today, July 26, in
1775 A postal system was established by the 2nd Continental 
 Congress of the United States. The first Postmaster General 
 was Benjamin Franklin.
1881 Thomas Edison and Patrick Kenny execute a patent 
 application for a facsimile telegraph
1893 Commercial production of the Addressograph started 
 in Chicago, IL.
1907 The Chester was launched. It was the first turbine-
 propelled ship.
1945 Winston Churchill resigned as Britain's prime minister.
1948 U.S. President Truman signed executive orders that 
 prohibited discrimination in the U.S. armed forces and 
 federal employment.
1952 King Farouk I of Egypt abdicated in the wake of a 
 coup led by Gamal Abdel Nasser.
1953 Fidel Castro began his revolt against Fulgencio Batista 
 with an unsuccessful attack on an army barracks in eastern 
 Cuba. Castro eventually ousted Batista six years later.
1956 Egyptian President Gamal Abdel Nasser nationalized 
 the Suez Canal.
1971 Apollo 15 was launched from Cape Kennedy, FL.
1998 AT&T and British Telecommunications PLC announced they 
 were forming a joint venture to combine international 
 operations and develop a new Internet system.
2013  smiled


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How to get rid of Gmail Tabs 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, July 25.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Hold a book in your hand and you're a pilgrim at the gates of a new city. --- Anne Michaels Whoever ceases to be a student has never been a student. --- George Iles
On my first day working at the gas station, I watched a senior co-worker measure the level of gasoline in the under- ground tanks by lowering a giant measuring stick down into them. "What would happen if I threw a lit match into the hole?" I joked. "It would go out," he replied very matter-of-factly. "Really?" I asked, surprised to hear that. "Is there a lack of oxygen down there or some safety device that would extinguish it before the fumes ignited?" "No," my co-worker continued. "The force from the explosion would blow out the match."
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The colonel had three Second Lieutenants eligible for promotion. The problem was, he only had one First Lieutenant Slot available. The colonel called the first butter-bar into his office and said, "This is a promotion test. If I was to tell you that I wanted a flag pole erected in front of Post HQ by 1700, what would you do?" The Lt. thought about it for a second, and said, "Sir. I would get a shovel, head for HQ and start digging . . . " "You're not ready to be promoted," the Colonel interrupted. The colonel asked the same question of the next candidate. "Sir," said the next butter-bar, "I would fill out a CE work order, making sure I made provisions for the appropriate environmental study and . . . " "You are definitely not ready to be promoted," the Colonel said. The Colonel asked the question of the final candidate. Without hesitation, the Lieutenant said, "Sir. I would call the First Sergeant, and say, 'Top, I want a @#$#@ flag pole set up in front of HQ by 16:30, standing perfectly straight!" "You're ready to be promoted," the Colonel said.
Thanks to lillemor for this picture from her garden: Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jaaziah Herrera, 23, St Cloud, Floriduh Cell Phone Salesman Charged With Dragging Woman Into Back Room, Demanding That She Date Him Reported by The Weekly Vice Jaaziah Herrera, a 23-year-old Florida bonehead employed at Metro PCS in St. Cloud, was jailed after he allegedly dragged a customer into a back room and demanded that she start dating him. According to police, a customer was shopping at a Metro PCS store in St. Cloud when an employee, identified as Jaaziah Herrera, suggested that the two of them should date. When the woman turned down Herrera's advances, he reportedly dragged her into a back room at the store and pinned her down so that she was unable to get away. That's when he reportedly told her "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want me." The victim reportedly told Herrera "No" several times, explaining that she had a boyfriend and that he would be looking for her. Herrera eventually let the woman go, and she immediately called police. When officers arrived at the store to question Herrera, they found a 5-foot nylon rope in his pocket. Herrera told police that he carried the rope because he had been practicing his knot tying skills. He was booked into the Osceola County Jail and charged with false imprisonment and battery. Tech Support Pits From: Phyllis Re: Confusion with Gmail Dear Webby, Gmail has me completely confused...although being a senior citizen may account for that ,too. They have somehow changed their way of sending out email and when I go to their @Welcome to the new GMail" page, I find no instructions at all. Now I get one or 2 new emails per day, none of which are ones I want. I'm still getting your letter on my alternate email address, but that's not helping for my Gmail. Any ideas? Phyllis Dear Phyllis A lot of people wrote with similar questions or complaints about Gmail. What really frosted a lot of people was that the totally unhelpful edict from the throne was sent by , and they don't know where to complain about the dopey concept. Your address is still in the list and your newsletter is getting sent to you every night. Possibly you got backstabbed with the new wacky tabs, that disorganize your Gmail inbox. Best to take the checkmarks off those thilly tabbies and hope, that sorting by receive date and time will return. They don't seem to have the talent necessary for sorting by column like the good email programs have had for over 20 years, so they are trying to sort emails by category, without really understanding how you take care of your emails. Instead of leaving it sorted by date and time, they shuffle it by category. For example, they put all Linkedin, FaceBook, Twitter, etc. related mails in one bunch at the top, and your electrical bill and mail from your Sweetie and your subscriptions in another bunch somewhere else. If somebody is just a social butterfly and only using Gmail for playing on social networks, that concept MIGHT make sense. For the rest of us, it is a bloody nuisance. Naturally, now most people miss important emails and can't find expected mails and they are cussing about "Blonde Logic" and wondering, what they are smoking at Gmail. Luckily, it is easy to undo the wanky thillyness. Look for the little gear at the right side and pull it down. In there select "Configure Inbox". In there, take the checkmark of all categories except PRIMARY. Save and return to the Inbox. You get back the extra space, that they stole off the top, and the thilly category sorting is gone. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Garlic as Remedy for Toothache Garlic is another remedy that works on toothache pain. I place a sliver of garlic between the infected area of the tooth and cheek for as long as I can stand it, because the garlic has a peppery taste. The garlic, like cabbage, will draw out the infection and relieve the pain and swelling. Cloves work to numb the infected area also. By dee53 Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did *I* get the ticket?" "Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man. "Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied. The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch *all* the fish?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The future father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?" The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."
» The Louisville Slugger

Today, July 25, in
0326 Emperor Constantine refused to carry out the traditional 
 pagan sacrifices.
1394 Charles VI of France issued a decree for the general 
 expulsion of Jews from France.
1564 Maximillian II became emperor of the Holy Roman Empire.
1587 Japanese strong-man Hideyoshi banned Christianity in 
 Japan and ordered all Christians to leave.
1593 France's King Henry IV converted from Protestantism 
 to Roman Catholicism.
1759 British forces defeated a French army at Fort Niagara 
 in Canada.
1799 Napoleon Bonaparte defeated the Ottomans at 
 Aboukir, Egypt.
1845 China granted Belgium equal trading rights with Britain, 
 France and the United States.
1850 Gold was discovered in the Rogue River in OR.
1854 The paper collar was patented by Walter Hunt.
1866 Ulysses S. Grant was named General of the Army. He was 
 the first American officer to hold the rank.
1871 Seth Wheeler patented perforated wrapping paper.
1907 Korea became a protectorate of Japan.
1909 French aviator Louis Bleriot flew across the English Channel 
 in a monoplane. He traveled from Calais to Dover in 37 minutes. 
 He was the first man to fly across the channel.
1914 Russia declared that it would act to protect Serbian 
 sovereignty.
1924 Greece announced the deportation of 50,000 Armenians.
1941 The U.S. government froze all Japanese and Chinese assets.
1943 Italian Fascist dictator Benito Mussolini was overthrown 
 in a coup.
1946 The U.S. detonated an atomic bomb at Bikini Atoll in the 
Pacific. It was the first underwater test of the device.
1984 Soviet cosmonaut Svetlana Savitskaya became the first 
 woman to walk in space. She was aboard the orbiting space 
 station Salyut 7.
1994 Israel and Jordan formally ended the state of war that 
had existed between them since 1948.
1999 Lance Armstrong won the Tour de France. He was only the 
 second American to win the race.
2010 WikiLeaks leaked to the public more than 90,000 internal 
 reports involving the U.S.-led War in Afghanistan from 2004-2010. 
2013  smiled


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Classic Floppy Deal 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, July 24.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Tammy called up the airline ticket counter and asked, "How long are your flights from Los Angeles to Phoenix?" The counterman answered, "Just a minute." Tammy replied: "Wow, that's pretty fast!", thanked him and hung up.
>From Paul: My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four Mounties and a police dog to pull us apart.
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Thanks to lillemor for this picture from her garden: Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jonathan Savas, 24, Deland, Floriduh Charged With Sitting On Baby's Head When Baby Refused To Go To Sleep Reported by The Weekly Vice Jonathan Savas, a 24-year-old Florida bonehead, has been jailed after he allegedly sat on his baby's head because the child wouldn't fall asleep. According to Deland Police, Savas showed up at a female friend's mobile home Thursday night with his 10-month-old child while looking for a place to stay. The baby, according to the arrest report, didn't have any clothing on when Savas arrived. Investigators say Savas then became angry when the baby refused to stop crying and fall asleep. In retaliation, Savas allegedly placed the baby on a couch and sat on his head while the child screamed out in pain. The female friend tried to intervene, however, Savas told her "It's my baby, I can do what I want." The female friend reportedly waited until Savas left her residence to report the abuse because she was afraid he would harm her. When officers caught up with Savas a couple of days later, he reportedly admitted to placing the child faced down on the couch and then placing his leg on top of the baby to force him to go to sleep. Officers also recovered a hypodermic needle, baggies and a pill container from Savas' backpack. He was booked into jail and charged with child abuse. His bond has been set at $50,000. Tech Support Pits From: - Re: - No Question No answer Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Natural Ant Deterrent My parents lived in Africa and had an infestation of army ants. A local boy gave my mother some brilliant advice; put ash in a ring around the house. The ants will be tricked into thinking there is a forest fire. My mother did this in a great panick to stop the ants swarming over me as a new baby and, like magic, the ants disappeared! I have an infestation in my kitchen at the moment so plan to put ash across the threshold where they are coming in and post a note if it does the trick on English black ants. By fiona.me.mcintyre Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
I just came across this old tech support story. Totally obsolete, but too good to just let it die. Keep in mind that this is from a very long time ago, when Windows came on a stack of floppy disks and when a Mac's standard way of dealing with a PC floppy was to destroy all data on it and format it. An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong. Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer." Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide. Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?" Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized." Tech Support: "Oh Oh! Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?" Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down. 'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it?'" Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?" Customer: "After they were initialized, all the disks appeared to be blank. And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them. And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office. Did I do something wrong?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
After buying her kids a pet hamster, after they PROMISED they would take care of it, Mom, as usual, ended up with the responsibility. One evening, exasperated, she asked them, "How many times do you think that hamster would have died if I hadn't looked after it?" After a moment, her 5-year-old son replied quizzically, "Er.... Once?"
» Rubic's Cube

Today, July 24, in
1847 Mormon leader Brigham Young and his followers arrived 
in the valley of the Great Salt Lake in present-day Utah.

1847 Richard M. Hoe patented the rotary-type printing press.

1923 The Treaty of Lausanne, which settled the boundaries of 
 modern Turkey, was concluded in Switzerland.

1929 U.S. President Hoover proclaimed the Kellogg-Briand Pact, 
 which renounced war as an instrument of foreign policy.

1948 Soviet occupation forces in Germany blockaded West 
 Berlin. The U.S.-British airlift began the following day.

1969 The Apollo 11 astronauts splashed down safely in the 
 Pacific Ocean.

1974 The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled that President 
 Nixon had to turn over subpoenaed White House tape recordings 
 to the Watergate special prosecutor.

1985 Walt Disney released their 25th full-length cartoon. 
 The work was "The Black Cauldron."

1987 Hulda Crooks, at 91 years of age, climbed Mt. Fuji. Hulda 
 became the oldest person to climb Japan’s highest peak. 

2013  smiled


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Elongated pictures 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, July 23.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The future will be better tomorrow. --- Dan Quayle (1947 - ) I never cease being dumbfounded by the unbelievable things people believe. --- Leo Rosten (1908 - )
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily or breaks off, it was a valuable plant.
A man takes a photo of the front of his house to the local copy store and asks the clerk to put it on disk for him. He does. They are both looking at the monitor to see the results, and the man asks if the picture can be turned. "Sure" says the clerk. The man replies, "Good, I need a shot of the back of my house also."
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Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Sarah Maria Torres, 33, Sugar Land, TX Charged With Having Sex With Daughter's 14-Year-Old Ex Boyfriend Reported by The Weekly Vice Sarah Maria Torres, a 33-year-old Texas woman, was jailed Tuesday after she allegedly had sex with her daughter's 14-year-old ex boyfriend. According to Sugar Land Police, an investigation was launched after the boy told a family member about the sexual relationship that he had with his ex-girlfriend's mother. Investigators say the alleged sexual relationship took place on May 23 when the boy stayed home from school. Torres and the boy both live on the same street. The boy's mother reportedly provided officers with evidence that corroborates her son's account of the relationship, according to the arrest affidavit. Torres was booked into the Fort Bend County Jail and charged with sexual assault of a child. Her bond has been set at $150,000. Somehow, I would not be surprised if it turns out that the boy framed her because she terminated his relationship with her daughter. Tech Support Pits From: Darlene Re: Elongated pictures Dear Webby Love your Humor letter especially the tech help. You gave some advise on making things larger including pictures, can't remember when you gave it, I followed the instructions and things are larger. But my pictures are all elongated and another thing happened at the same time. When ever I hit my mouse it makes a loud click from my desktop when I change pages. Also on my IM the sub-titles across the top are like high lighted. What did I do wrong and how do I go back to the way it was? Thank you Darlene Dear Darlene The reason your pictures appear elongated is probably that you chose a setting intended for a wide aspect ratio monitor. Right-click on the desktop, Properties Settings and in there try different resolutions. I use 1600 x 1200. That looks fine on my monitor, and when I design a 5" x 6" ad, it measures precisely 5" x 6" on the screen. So, play with the resolution settings until you find one that suits your monitor and your eyes. If you got stuck with a sawed off (wide) monitor, they say that eventually your eyes get used to it, as long as you are not working with spreadsheets. Re the mouse click, you can set that in the Control Panel, Mouse. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Reuse Cookie and Cracker Package Trays Don't throw out the plastic trays from cookie and cracker bags! They work great as holders for beads or paper pieces for your crafts, but you can also use them as mini-green houses and flower pots. By Angela L. from Sault Ste Marie, ON Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
What happens when you have deja vu and amnesia at the same time? You have the feeling that you're forgetting the same thing all over again.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise , God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter." Soon, the women were gone, and there were two lines of men. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man. God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him." God turned to the one man, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?" The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."
» Poland's Underground Salt Cathedral

Today, July 23, in
1715 The first lighthouse in America was authorized for 
 construction at Little Brewster Island, Massachusetts.
1827 The first swimming school in the U.S. opened in Boston, MA.
1829 William Burt patented the typographer, which was the first 
 typewriter.
1877 The first municipal railroad passenger service began in 
 Cincinnati, Ohio.
1904 The ice cream cone was invented by Charles E. Menches 
 during the Louisiana Purchase Exposition in St. Louis, MO.
1914 Austria-Hungary issued an ultimatum to Serbia following 
 the killing of Archduke Francis Ferdinand by a Serb assassin. 
 The dispute led to World War I.
1945 The first passenger train observation car was placed in 
 service by the Chicago, Burlington and Quincy Railroad.
1952 Egyptian military officers led by Gamal Abdel Nasser 
 overthrew King Farouk I.
1958 The submarine Nautilus departed from Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, 
 under orders to conduct "Operation Sunshine." The mission 
 was to be the first vessel to cross the north pole by ship. 
 The Nautilus achieved the goal on August 3, 1958.
1962 The "Telstar" communications satellite sent the first live 
 TV broadcast to Europe.
1972 Eddie Merckx of Belgium won his fourth consecutive Tour de 
 France bicycling competition.
1972 The U.S. launched Landsat 1 (ERTS-1). It was the first 
 Earth-resources satellite.
1984 Miss America, Vanessa Williams, turned in her crown after 
 it had been discovered that nude photos of her had appeared in 
 "Penthouse" magazine. She was the first to resign the title.
1986 Britain's Prince Andrew married Sarah Ferguson at 
 Westminster Abbey in London. They divorced in 1996.
1998 U.S. scientists at the University of Hawaii turned out 
 more than 50 "carbon-copy" mice, with a cloning technique.
2000 Lance Armstrong won his second Tour de France. 
2013  smiled


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No newsletters on Gmail 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, July 21.

OK, for all those who asked for a picture of me at the 
waterfall, not just some silly little tree, here is one
from shortly before I did my canyon edge dance.


Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The secret of all success is to know how to deny yourself. Prove that you can control yourself, and you are an educated man; and without this all other education is good for nothing. --- R. D. Hitchcock Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far. --- Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826) OK, OK, I AM walking every day for about an hour, and even taking Barb's family dog for a walk. (Barb lives a block away.)
>From Dave I wasn't surprised when a friend of my daughter showed me a Japanese symbol on her hip. "Please don't tell my parents," she begged. "I won't," I promised. "By the way, what does that stand for?" She replied, "Honesty."
>A real old Classic from Rex Don't Try This At Home! A formula for inner peace...please read completely: I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace. On the show, Dr. Phil proclaimed: "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started." So I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's, a bottle of Kailua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake, some saltines and a box of chocolates. You have no idea how freaking good I feel.
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Thanks to Clyde for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version In a river in Slovakia
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kimberly Womach, 34, New Port Richey, Floriduh Jailed After Driving Drunk To McDonalds, Demanding Free Big Macs Reported by The Weekly Vice Kimberly Womach, a 34-year-old Florida woman, was jailed Sunday morning when she allegedly pulled into a McDonald's drive-thru drunk and demanded a free breakfast. According to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office, Womach pulled up to a McDonald's drive-thru at about 6 a.m. Sunday and demanded that they give her two free Big Macs because she was unsatisfied with a purchase she had received during a previous visit. When the staff informed her that they didn't have any Big Macs available because they were serving breakfast, Womach demanded two free Egg McMuffins instead. When employees informed Womach that she wouldn't be receiving a free breakfast and needed to leave, Womach parked her car in the drive-thru and refused to move. After ten minutes of arguing with Womach, store employees called authorities who arrived on the scene a few minutes later. Deputies noted a heavy smell of alcohol on Womach's breath as she informed them that her rights had been violated by the restaurant because they wouldn't meet her demands. After failing a field sobriety test, Womach was booked into jail and charged with driving under the influence. She was released later the same day after posting bond. Tech Support Pits From: Melody Re: No newsletter on Gmail Dear Webby It has been over a week since I have received your newspaper. Did I miss something? Dear Melody Your newsletter has been sent to you every night. Check your SPAM folder. You will probably have to make a filter to tell Gmail to NOT put the Humor Letter into SPAM. Just go into Settings, Filters. Once you find the spot, it is quite easy. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Removing Face Paint with Oil You can remove face paint or other make up with olive oil or coconut oil. Put some oil on a cotton ball and rub on the face paint. Use another cotton ball to wipe up the excess paint. Finish by washing your face with soap and water. By Stella Bella Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Quebec Math Thibodeau wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Witout numbers?" Thibodeau says, "Dat is easy." And he proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asks. "Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," says Thibodeau. "Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99." Thibodeau stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go." The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99." The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this guy, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100." Thibodeau stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hunnerd." The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" Thibodeau leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little doggie came along and crap by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat make one hunnerd. So, when I start?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Summer Season
» Summer Season

Today, July 22, in
1376 The legend of the Pied Piper of Hamelin leading rats 
 out of town is said to have occurred on this date.
1587 A second English colony was established on Roanoke 
 Island off North Carolina. The colony vanished under 
 mysterious circumstances.
1796 Cleveland was founded by Gen. Moses Cleaveland.
1798 The USS Constitution was underway and out to sea 
 for the first time since being launched on October 21/1797
1812 English troops under the Duke of Wellington defeated 
 the French at the Battle of Salamanca in Spain.
1926 Babe Ruth caught a baseball at Mitchell Field in New 
 York. The ball had been dropped from an airplane flying 
 at 250 feet.
1937 The U.S. Senate rejected President Roosevelt's proposal 
 to add more justices to the Supreme Court.
1943 American forces led by Gen. George S. Patton captured 
 Palermo, Sicily.
1975 Confederate General Robert E. Lee had his U.S. 
 citizenship restored by the U.S. Congress.
1987 The U.S. began its policy of escorting re-flagged Kuwaiti 
 tankers up and down the Persian Gulf to protect them from 
 possible attack by Iran.
1998 Iran tested medium-range missile, capable of reaching 
 Israel or Saudi Arabia.
2000 Astronomers at the University of Arizona announced that 
 they had found a 17th moon orbiting Jupiter.
2003 In northern Iraq, Saddam Hussein's sons Odai and Qusai 
 were killed in a gunfight with U.S. forces.
2003 In Paris, France, a fire broke out near the top of the 
 Eiffel Tower. About 4,000 visitors were evacuated and no 
 injuries were reported.
2004 The September 11 commission's final report was released. 
 The 575-page report concluded that hijackers exploited 
 "deep institutional failings within our government." 
2009 The longest total solar eclipse of the 21st century, 
 lasting up to 6 minutes and 38.8 seconds, occurred over 
 parts of Asia and the Pacific Ocean. 
2013  smiled


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How long should you keeo a BlackList 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, July 21.



By now, everyone's just about had it with the Westboro 
Baptist Church, a group whose members use national tragedies 
as opportunities to forward anti-gay hate speech. Ironically, 
their planned protests often bring communities together in 
opposition to their message. 

Some of you will remember the "Pervert Alerts", where I listed
the locations, where the perverts were planning to be a 
nuisance at a hero's funeral. Eventually some laws were
created, forcing the perverts to stay away from funerals.

After the ACLU forced the government to order the military 
to accept gay people. After that, the Westboro Perverts 
started their protest actions, making a racket at heros 
funerals and screamming that IEDs were God's revenge
and they were thanking God for killing soldiers.
They were also doing their insane protests at the funerals
of miners killed in mine accidents, claiming that the mine 
accidents were God's punishment for allowing gay people 
into the military. I really don't give a hoot about the 
gay issue, but I don't think it gives the perverts a right
to be a nuisance at a hero's funeral.

Now, an unlikely group has mounted an offensive against 
the perverts.
On Sunday, July 14, the Satanic Temple, a New York-based 
organization that seeks to foster "benevolence and empathy 
among all people" through Satan, performed a ritual called 
a "pink mass" at the Mississippi gravesite of Catherine 
Idalette Johnston, mother of WBC founder Fred Phelps Jr.

The aim? To "turn" the WBC founder's mom gay for all eternity.
"Upon completion of the pink mass ceremony, Catherine Johnston 
is now gay in the afterlife," notes the Satanic Temple website, 
which has the cheeky URL www.westboro-baptist.com. 
"Fred Phelps is obligated to believe that his mother is now gay ... 
[and] if beliefs are inviolable rights, nobody has the right to 
challenge our right to believe that Fred Phelps believes that 
his mother is now gay."

The latter assertion appears to be a play on the WBC's own 
stance that their beliefs are totally infallible.

The Pink Mass was performed twice -- once with two gay men, 
and once with two lesbians -- in an affirmation of the 
Satanist Temple's belief in "freedom and the pursuit of 
happiness for all people." The temple is now encouraging 
same-sex couples to visit the grave and perform their own 
pink masses.

According to the Satanist Temple website, temple spokesman 
Lucien Greaves officiated the ceremonies while wearing horned 
headgear, and then proceeded to put his penis on Johnston's 
grave

Even though I am neither gay nor a Satanist, I find it 
hilarious that the Satanists are mocking the perverts.
More details and pictures are at Pink Mass

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

There was a definite process by which one made people into friends, and it involved talking to them and listening to them for hours at a time. --- Rebecca West (1892 - 1983) Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. --- Dr. Seuss
Thanks to Martin for this story: We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the \ "seniors's special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $1.99. "Sounds good," my wife said. "But I don't want the eggs." Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress warned her. "You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?" My wife asked incredulously. "YES!!" "I'll take the special." "How do you want your eggs?" "Raw and in the shell," my wife replied. She took the two eggs home.
After the christening of his baby brother in church, little five-year-old Johnny sat in the back seat, unusually quiet. Very softly he started to cry until his father noticed him sobbing. "What's wrong, little Johnny?" asked his father. Between sniffles little Johnny replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a good Christian home, but, but, but I want to stay with you guys!"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Ashley Taylor Wright, 23, Pensacola, Floriduh Ashley Wright To Deputy: "You Will Have To Shoot Through My Baby To Get To Me" Reported by The Weekly Vice Ashley Taylor Wright, a 23-year-old Florida woman, was jailed Monday after she allegedly threw her baby at deputies when they tried to arrest her for shoplifting. According to the Okaloosa County Sheriff's Office, Wright was at the Santa Rosa Mall in Mary Esther Monday evening when she allegedly used a baby stroller to smuggle $260 worth of clothing out of a Dillards department store. When a deputy approached her out in the parking lot, she hopped into a car and told her husband (who was the get-away driver) to flee the scene. When the deputy blocked the vehicle and ordered Wright to exit the vehicle, she held up her baby and told the deputy "You will have to shoot through the baby to get to me." She then tossed the child, who was strapped into a baby carrier, at the deputy's head and tried to flee the scene on foot. The deputy ducked and avoided getting hit by thw bay in the baby carrier and promptly tackled the bimbo to the pavement and placed her into custody. Wright was booked into the Okaloosa County Jail and charged with child abuse, petty theft and resisting an officer. Tech Support Pits From: Eliza Re: How long to keep blacklist? Dear Webby You mentioned at one time how long to keep addresses in the Mailwasher blacklist. I am quite happy with MailWasher, but I noticed that the blacklist file is getting quite large, and sooner or later that must be putting a load on my machine. And how do you deal with spammers that keep changing their forged sending addresses? Eliza Dear Eliza MailWasher generally ignores the sender address, unless it is in the blacklist, since most spammers forge their sender address anyway. MailWasher checks the content of spam. Persistent spammers like the Bed & Bath crooks are best dealt with a filter. It takes 20 seconds to make a filter, and you never see mail from those crooks again. To keep the blacklist short and fast, I age it off in two days. By then the spammers usually change their address anyway. For those of you who haven't got MailWasher yet, click on the MailWasher button in the left side menu and get a free trial copy. If you are only getting the plain text version, you can get the free trial at http://webby.com/mailwasher http://webby.com/mailwasher Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Conditioner For Shaving Ever wonder what to use those 'conditioner' samples that come in the mail or brands you didn't care for? Well, wonder no more! I keep those little gems for when I need to shave. I find the packets difficult to open in the shower, so just pre-open them or squeeze them all into a bottle or jar. Much cheaper than shaving gel or foam, and much nicer on your skin. A breeze when travelling too! By Laurie Young F. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales on display at the department store. "Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked. "Yeah, my mom has one," the other replied. "What's it for?" "It's a cussing machine," the second boy answered. "Every time she stands on it she gets really mad and starts cussing at me or dad."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Leroy was visiting a friend in the hospital. He was trying to stop smoking and was chewing on an unlit cigar when he got on the elevator. A lady said to him with a snarl, 'Sir, there's no smoking in here.' "Leroy said, " Lady, I'm not smoking." "But you have a cigar in your mouth!", the woman said. "'Lady", Leroy answered, "I'm wearing Jockey shorts, too, but I don't ride horses indoors either."
» Canada's Ghost Train

Today, July 21, in
1831 Belgium became independent as Leopold I was proclaimed 
 King of the Belgians.

1861 The first major battle of the U.S. Civil War began. 
 It was the Battle of Bull Run at Manassas Junction, VA. 
 The Confederates won the battle.
1925 The "Monkey Trial" ended in Dayton, TN. John T. Scopes 
 was convicted of violating the state law for teaching 
 Darwin's theory of evolution. The conviction was later 
 overturned.
1930 The Veterans’ Administration of the United States 
 was established.
1931 CBS aired the first regularly scheduled program to be 
 simulcast on radio and television. The show featured singer 
 Kate Smith, composer George Gershwin and New York City Mayor 
 Jimmy Walker.
1931 The Reno Race Track inaugurated the daily double 
 in the U.S.
1940 Lithuania, Estonia, and Latvia were annexed by the 
 Soviet Union.
1944 American forces landed on Guam during World War II.
1949 The U.S. Senate ratified the North Atlantic Treaty.
1954 The Geneva Conference partitioned Vietnam into 
 North Vietnam and South Vietnam.
1959 A U.S. District Court judge in New York City ruled that 
 "Lady Chatterley’s Lover" was not a dirty book.
1961 Capt. Virgil "Gus" Grissom became the second American to 
 rocket into a sub-orbital pattern around the Earth. He was flying 
 on the Liberty Bell 7.
1968 Arnold Palmer became the first golfer to make a million dollars 
 in career earnings after he tied for second place at the PGA 
 Championship.
1980 Draft registration began in the United States for 19 and 
 20-year-old men.
1987 Mary Hart, of "Entertainment Tonight", had her legs insured 
 by Lloyd’s of London for $2 million.
1997 The U.S.S. Constitution, which defended the United States 
 during the War of 1812, set sail under its own power for the 
 first time in 116 years.
2004 White House officials were briefed on the September 11 
 commission's final report. The 575-page report concluded that 
 hijackers exploited "deep institutional failings within our 
 government." The report was released to the public the next day.
2007 The seventh and last book of the Harry Potter series, 
 "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," was released.
2011 Space Shuttle Atlantis landed at Kennedy Space Center 
 in Florida. It was the last flight of NASA's space shuttle 
 program. 
2013  smiled


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Yahoo email problems 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, July 20.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. --- Dr. Seuss When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. --- P. J. O'Rourke (1947 - ) Anyone who has gumption knows what it is, and anyone who hasn't can never know what it is. So there is no need of defining it. --- L. M. Montgomery (1874 - 1942)
Thanks to Cookie for this one: LADY'S MEDICAL During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the bit that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady starts taking off her underwear but is interrupted by the doctor. "No! No! Don't remove your panties. Just stick out your tongue!"
The Secrets To Successful Candle Making Discover The Secrets To Successfully Make Exquisite Candles At Home. Learn All The Ins-and-outs Of Working With Soy, Beeswax, Gel, And More! - Years Of Research Invested In This Book Will Benefit Both The Beginner And The Expert. Includes books on selling candles on eBay and at fairs. Get The Secrets To Successful Candle Making now!

The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand-new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES. The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read: MAIN ENTRANCE.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Miaya Ramirez, 31 and hubby Saint Ramirez, 23 in Gering, Nebraska Couple jailed For Post-Wedding Sex In Park Reported by The Smoking Gun JULY 18--A couple who this week celebrated their wedding by having sex in public view at a Nebraska park will be spending their honeymoon in separate jail cells after they pleaded guilty yesterday to indecent exposure. Police arrested Saint Ramirez, 23, and his bride Miaya, 31, after being summoned to the Oregon Trail Park by a trio of teenagers who reported spotting the duo having sex near “a big pine tree” around 8 PM. When a Gering Police Department officer drove his cruiser up to the tree, he saw “Miaya had her pants off and her buttocks exposed. Miaya was moving in an up and down motion on Saint,” according to a probable cause affidavit. “Saint had his pants pulled down to approximately his ankles,” added Officer Michael Modec. While the patrolman loudly advised them to stop, Saint and Miaya continued to have sex. The pair eventually complied and got dressed, laughing as they put their pants back on. The pair was trysting near a playground and the park swimming pool, and “numerous children” were in the immediate area, Modec reported. Asked by the cop what they were doing, “Saint stated they were having sex and had just gotten married.” The newlyweds, pictured in the above mug shots, were in the park with friends and family, including Miaya’s five-year-old daughter (apparently as part of an al fresco wedding reception). After pleading guilty yesterday to public indecency, a misdemeanor, Mr. and Mrs. Ramirez were each sentenced to 30 days in jail. Tech Support Pits From: Kim Re: Yahoo email problem Dear Webby, i have not received a humor letter for a long time now.... what happened? Kim Dear Kim I can't do more than sending it out to you. Yahoo usually drops it. There is nothing I can do about Yahoo's problems. Just get a respectable address on the side, like a Gmail address, or an address based on your ISP. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Conditioner For Shaving Ever wonder what to use those 'conditioner' samples that come in the mail or brands you didn't care for? Well, wonder no more! I keep those little gems for when I need to shave. I find the packets difficult to open in the shower, so just pre-open them or squeeze them all into a bottle or jar. Much cheaper than shaving gel or foam, and much nicer on your skin. A breeze when travelling too! By Laurie Young F. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Keli was having trouble with her computer. So she called Paul, the eight year old kid next door, over to her jouse. Paul clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, Keli called after him, "So, what was wrong?" And Paul replied, "It was an ID Ten T Error." A puzzled expression ran riot over Keli's face. "An ID Ten T Error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again??" Paul gave her a grin... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID Ten T Error before?" "No," replied Keli. "Write it down," Paul said, "and I think you'll figure it out." She wrote: I D 1 0 T Keli USED TO like the little jerk before that.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, in her mid eighties. The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "Plese tell me, do I come here often?"
» Tearless Onion Cutting:

Today, July 20, in
1801 A 1,235 pound cheese ball was pressed at the farm of 
Elisha Brown, Jr. The ball of cheese was later loaded on a 
horse-driven wagon and presented to U.S. President Thomas 
Jefferson at the White House.
1810 Colombia declared independence from Spain.
1868 Legislation that ordered U.S. tax stamps to be placed 
 on all cigarette packs was passed.
1871 British Columbia joined Confederation as a Canadian 
 province.
1881 Sioux Indian leader Sitting Bull, a fugitive since the 
 Battle  of the Little Big Horn, surrendered to federal 
 troops. (Montana)
1908 In the United States, the Sullivan Ordinance bars women 
 from  smoking in public facilities.
1917 The draft lottery in World War I went into operation.
1942 The first detachment of the Women's Army Auxiliary Corps
 began basic training at Fort Des Moines, Iowa.
1944 An attempt by a group of German officials to assassinate
 Hitler failed. The bomb exploded at Hitler's Rastenburg 
 headquarters. Hitler was only wounded.
1944 U.S. President Roosevelt was nominated for an 
 unprecedented fourth term of office at the Democratic 
 National Convention in Chicago.
1969 Apollo 11 astronauts Neil Armstrong and Edwin E. 
Aldrin, Jr. became the first men to walk on the moon.
1974 Turkish forces invaded Cyprus.
1976 America's Viking I robot spacecraft made a successful 
 landing on Mars.
1982 U.S. President Ronald Reagan pulled the U.S. out of 
 comprehensive test ban negotiations indefinitely.
1985 Treasure hunters began raising $400 million in coins and 
 silver from the Spanish galleon "Nuestra Senora de Atocha." 
 The ship sank in 1622 40 miles of the coast of Key West, FL.
1992 Vaclav Havel, the playwright who led the Velvet Revolution 
 against communism, stepped down as president of Czechoslovakia.
1998 Russia won a $11.2 billion loan from the International 
 Monetary Fund to help avert the devaluation of its currency.
2003 In India, elephants used for commercial work began wearing 
 reflectors to avoid being hit by cars during night work
2013  smiled


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Can you change picture sizes on a Forward? 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Friday, July 19.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real. --- Iris Murdoch (1919 - 1999) Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. --- Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a Brooklyn construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch, sit with the workers and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating. She walked up to the group and with a big smile said, "Do you men know Jesus Christ?" They looked at each other and shook their heads. One of the workers looked up into the steelwork and yelled, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?" One of the steelworkers yelled down asking, "Why"? The worker yelled back, "His wife's here with his lunch."
The Secrets To Successful Candle Making Discover The Secrets To Successfully Make Exquisite Candles At Home. Learn All The Ins-and-outs Of Working With Soy, Beeswax, Gel, And More! - Years Of Research Invested In This Book Will Benefit Both The Beginner And The Expert. Includes books on selling candles on eBay and at fairs. Get The Secrets To Successful Candle Making now!

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "Surely I can't look that old!" Well, you're gonna love this one... I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist when I noticed his diploma hanging on the wall. It bore his full name and I suddenly remembered a tall, handsome dark-haired boy with the same name. He had been in my high school class some 40-odd years before and I wondered, "Could he be the same guy I had a secret crush on way back then?" When I got into the treatment room I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was much too old to have been my secret crush... or was he? After he examined my teeth I asked if he had attended Morgan Park High School. "Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang!" He said, gleaming with pride. "When did you graduate?" I asked. "1969. Why do you ask?" he answered. "Well, you were in my class!" I exclaimed. To which the ugly, old, wrinkled jerk replied, "What did you teach?"
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kristina Michelle Brown, 23, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma I Had Sex With My Cat And Everyone Knows," Oklahoma Woman Explained To Arresting Officer Reported by Moe Convinced that a neighbor spoke to others about her having sex with a cat, an Oklahoma woman allegedly threatened the man with a knife, saying, “Do you wanna die?” Oklahoma City cops arrested Kristina Michelle Brown following her bizarre confrontation Monday afternoon with 72-year-old Elmer Morrison. The 23-year-old Brown was charged with assault and battery with a deadly weapon, a felony, and booked into jail, where she is being held in lieu of $5000 bail. According to an Oklahoma City Police Department report, Morrison told a cop that Brown had been standing at the fence between their houses yelling, “Come outside I know you are in there.” With a small pocket knife in hand, Brown then repeatedly asked, “Do you wanna die?” When police questioned Brown, she explained she was upset with Morrison “because of what he did to me.” When a cop asked what he did to her, she replied, “Because everyone knows.” She then said, “I had sex with my cat and everyone knows.” A puzzled cop asked Brown (pictured above) what role Morrison had in the cat sex. She replied that her next-door neighbor had “no connection” to the act, saying that she was “just mad because everyone knows.” Investigators reported that Brown said Morrison “does not know about what she did with the cat, she is just mad at him and wants him to die.” In an interview, Morrison, a retired salesman, was incredulous when told of Brown’s statements to police. “This is news to me,” Morrison said, adding that he had little interaction with Brown, who has lived next to him (along with assorted family members, cats, and dogs) for several years. Morrison said that Brown sometimes appeared “glassy-eyed,” and hung out with a crowd that assembled near a local head shop. Tech Support Pits From: Pennie Re: Resizing pictures in a Forward Dear Webby, Thank you so much for the newsletters coming my way and all the wonderful information. I am curious to know how your health is doing, the last time you told about your eyes, is there any improvement? I hope and pray that it is better. Today I have a question that is bothering -- is there any way that you can re-size pictures in a e-mail, (all different sizes) all at once when you want to forward or do you have to do them one by one? Your answer will be greatly appreciated and I am sure helpful to many people. Pennie Dear Pennie The eye specialist claims there is some improvement with my eyes. He is referring to the macular and the danger of going blind. My ability to see has not improved. If you were close enough, I would probably supplement with my Braille readers '-) Re resizing pictures, if you forward, then you can't change anything. If you want to change stuff, you basically have to recreate the email and resize saved pictures one at a time. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Frozen Juice as Mini Lunch Ice Packs Save Naked or Odwalla juice bottles and fill with water and freeze. These are just the right size for a child's lunch box. When they thaw, you can have cold water to drink. These are also useful for placing in a larger cooler. By Monica from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thanks to David for this story: Lisa, my co-worker at the travel agency, needed to send a letter of apology to a customer whose trip was a complete fiasco from start to finish. I reminded her of a similar situation a year earlier and dug out the letter I'd written then. "All you have to do," I told her, "is to change the details, the date, and the name." She looked it over and smiled wryly. "We won't even need to change the name."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Sandie for this story: Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
» Polarized Bruins

Today, July 18, in
1525 The Catholic princes of Germany formed the Dessau 
 League to fight against the Reformation.
1553 Fifteen-year-old Lady Jane Grey was deposed as 
 Queen of England after claiming the crown for nine days. 
 Mary, the daughter of King Henry VIII, was proclaimed Queen.
1788 Prices plunged on the Paris stock market.
1799 The Rosetta Stone, a tablet with hieroglyphic 
 translations into Greek, was found in Egypt.
1848 The Women's Rights Convention took place in Seneca Fall, 
 NY. Bloomers were introduced at the convention.
1870 France declared war on Prussia.
1943 During World War II, more than 150 B-17 and 112 
 B-24 bombers attacked Rome for the first time.
1946 Marilyn Monroe acted in her first screen test.
1975 The Apollo and Soyuz spacecrafts separated after 
 being linked in orbit for two days.
2013  smiled


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How to open a PPS file automatically 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, July 18

I took a friend up to Sheep River Falls yesterday evening.
The flood sure made a mess up there! Somehow I had not
expected any flood damage that high up in the mountains.
It took all the picknic benches near the parking area and 
messed up the road and parking area.

Down by the river there were uprooted trees and bushes
in chaotic piles twenty feet high along the shore. The trail
along the shore was of course gone or under that jumble.

The high trail was not too bad, just barely passable until
the spot, where there used to be a bridge over cut from a tiny
trickle creek. When my secretary Barb's son Malcolm got 
married to Cindy, I took a picture of them on that bridge. 
That bridge was gone. 

Well, I knew a way around that.
The big eye opener was on the rocks past the canyon.
There used to be a tree on a rocky point overlooking the 
canyon and looking very photogenic. It looked weird with
that tree gone, and part of that rocky [oint too.

Further past the canyon trees had snagged bushes and roots
and all kinds of flotsam. 



Those little trees were 120 feet above the normal water level!
And there were some huge junks of rock missing. Sure, the
side of the canyon and the rocks were cracked, but the pieces
that were knocked off and are missing must have weighed 
quite a few tons! The newly exposed rock loocked quite
different from the weathered old rock. 

Sharp edges too, I found out the hard way, when I slipped 
and stumbled and did a bit of dancing on my shins, so as
not to catch myself with my hand, that held the camera.

It must have looked hilarious me doing some weird dance 
at the edge of the canyon, camera held high, and flailing 
with my free hand. I did regain my balance without going 
down, but sure left some blood and skin off my shins on 
the rocks. No big deal, shins heal. The main thing is that
the camera was not damaged.

Have FUN!
DearWebby

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900) Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage. --- Ambrose Bierce. "There are two things in the universe that are truly abundant: Hydrogen and Stupidity." --- Frank Zappa
Thanks to NanaRina for this: Why seniors still need newspapers I was visiting my granddaughter last night when I asked if I could borrow a newspaper. "This is the 21st century," she said. We don't waste money on newspapers. Here, use my iPad." I can tell you this. That fly never knew what hit him.
The Secrets To Successful Candle Making Discover The Secrets To Successfully Make Exquisite Candles At Home. Learn All The Ins-and-outs Of Working With Soy, Beeswax, Gel, And More! - Years Of Research Invested In This Book Will Benefit Both The Beginner And The Expert. Includes books on selling candles on eBay and at fairs. Get The Secrets To Successful Candle Making now!

Dr Bill replied re the Texan tractor yesterday: Old Zeke finally decided to give up using Mules, and buy one of them new-fangled tractors. The salesman told him it would cut his work in half - so he bought two.
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Benton Mackenzie, 47, and his wife, Loretta, 41, in Long Grove, Iowa They just don't get it Reported by Sailor Deputies were turning to leave the Mackenzies' Long Grove, Iowa, home, when Benton Mackenzie allegedly called them back in to show them a court document. There on the coffee table in the basement, the deputies spotted a gram of marijuana and a pipe, Scott County Sheriff's Lt. Bryce Schmidt said. Now Benton Mackenzie, 47, and his wife, Loretta, 41, are charged for the third time in three years with drug possession. The two were in the Scott County Jail on Monday on misdemeanor charges as well as felony charges because they violated probation. A Scott County judge had given each of them probation in 2011 after they pleaded guilty to Class D felony charges of drug possession/delivery. Now they each face five years in prison for violating terms of the probation, which included abstaining from marijuana use. They allegedly violated those terms last month, when deputies searched their home at 27120 183rd Ave., and seized 50 to 75 marijuana plants. They were charged then with drug possession/delivery and spent a day in jail. Their 21-year-old son, Cody Mackenzie, was charged with misdemeanor drug possession. Benton Mackenzie's 74-year-old parents, Dorothy and Charles Mackenzie, were charged with hosting a drug house, an aggravated misdemeanor. After the June 21 search and arrest of the couple, the Iowa Department of Corrections was notified of the new charges and sent Scott County Sheriff's deputies to their home last Thursday to serve probation violation warrants. Schmidt said that's when the deputies spotted the marijuana on the coffee table. "They just don't get it," Schmidt said. They even look happy on their mug shots, as if getting free room and board away from each other for five years was the goal, that they tried to accomplish. Tech Support Pits From: Ann Re: PPS Dear Webby ...'sme again. I have sent a PPS file to my friend but he cannot open it. I think because he is still using XP. Do I have to convert it or do something to it, so that he can open it? Thanks for you help. Hugs Ann Dear Ann Windows XP has nothing to do with that. All he needs is a normal pps PowerPoint viewer. He can get one free from Microsoft. The easiest way to get it is to go to http://webby.com/pps That forwards to the mile long link at Microsoft. There are other free PPS viewers available, but that one is quite OK for beginners. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Microwave Cloves Before Peeling If you have multiple cloves of garlic to peel, zap them in the microwave for 5-10 seconds. Let them cool for a minute or two, since they get pretty hot. The skins will easily slip off. By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thanks to Glen for this one: A man was just getting himself seated at the bar when another man arrived and as he seated himself said "I'll have a Waterlou". The first man thought that the drink sounded interesting and also told the bartender "I would like what he ordered, I too will have a waterlou". The bartender set before them both a tall glass with clear liquid and a lemon wedge. Taking a big swig, the first man almost sprayed it out through his mouth and had a fit of coughing. "That tastes just like water!" he choked out. The second man said, "That's what you ordered, right Lou?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Our college just completed a new three-story building. While walking down a hall on the 2nd floor, I overheard two students say, "I really like the skylights on the 3rd floor." "Me too," remarked the second student. "I don't know why they didn't just put some on the 2nd floor too." --------- Political Science students?
» Hyper Realistic Art

Today, July 18, in
0064 The Great Fire of Rome began.
1536 The authority of the pope was declared void in England.
1789 Robespierre, a deputy from Arras, France, decided to 
 back the French Revolution.
1872 The Ballot Act was passed in Great Britain, providing 
 for secret election ballots.
1914 Six planes of the U.S. Army helped to form an aviation 
 division called the Signal Corps.
1932 The U.S. and Canada signed a treaty to develop the 
 St. Lawrence Seaway.
1935 Ethiopian King Haile Selassie urged his countrymen to 
 fight to the last man against the invading Italian army.
1936 The first Oscar Meyer Wienermobile rolled out of 
 General Body Company’s factory in Chicago, IL.
1936 The Spanish Civil War began as Gen. Francisco Franco 
 led an uprising of army troops based in Spanish North Africa.
1942 The German Me-262, the first jet-propelled aircraft to 
 fly in combat, made its first flight.
1944 U.S. troops captured Saint-Lo, France, ending the 
 battle of the hedgerows.
1944 Hideki Tojo was removed as Japanese premier and 
 war minister due to setbacks suffered by his country
 in World War II.
1971 New Zealand and Australia announced they would pull 
 their troops out of Vietnam.
2001 A train derailed, involving 60 cars, in a Baltimore 
 train tunnel. The fire that resulted lasted for six days 
 and virtually closed down downtown Baltimore for several 
 days. (Maryland) 
2013  smiled


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How to get rid of Windows log-on prompt 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, July 17

Thank you Bonita!
Thank you, Frank!


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. --- Dean Martin People always call it luck when you've acted more sensibly than they have. --- Anne Tyler (1941 - ),
Thanks to Lisa for this story: I was on vacation, playing the slot machines. It was my first time in a casino, and I wasn't sure how the machines operated. "Excuse me." I said to a casino employee. "How does this work?" The worker showed me how to insert a bill, hit the spin button, and operate the release handle. "And where does the money come out?" I asked. He smiled and motioned to a far wall before saying, "Usually at the ATM machine down there....."
The Secrets To Successful Candle Making Discover The Secrets To Successfully Make Exquisite Candles At Home. Learn All The Ins-and-outs Of Working With Soy, Beeswax, Gel, And More! - Years Of Research Invested In This Book Will Benefit Both The Beginner And The Expert. Includes books on selling candles on eBay and at fairs. Get The Secrets To Successful Candle Making now!

A Texan is bragging to his cousin in Montana. "On mah fahrm in Taxas," he drawls, "I can git on mah tractor, ride all daiy long, and still be on mah fahrm by nightfohl." "Yeah", replies his cousin, "I know what you mean. I once used to have a John Deere tractor like that too."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Brittany Harris, 25, West Palm Beach, Floriduh Jailed After Leaving Two Young Children Alone In Parking Lot To Watch Concert Reported by The Weekly Vice Brittany Harris, a 25-year-old Florida bonehead, was jailed Sunday after she left her two young children out in a crowded parking lot while she attended a Lil Wayne concert. According to the Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office, a deputy was working the Lil Wayne concert at the Cruzan Amphitheater Sunday night when a concert staff member brought him two children (ages 3 and 5) who had been abandoned out in the parking lot by their mother. The staff member told the deputy that the two children were observed alone out in the parking lot for several hours before they were questioned about where their parent(s) might be. Investigators say the children told the staff member and deputies that their mother, identified as Brittany Harris, left them in the parking lot to attend the concert. About 45 minutes later, deputies made contact with Harris in the parking lot as she was leaving the concert. Harris initially told deputies that her cousin brought the children to the concert. She then admitted to bringing the children and then leaving them in the car so she could watch the concert. Harris was booked into the Palm Beach County Jail and charged with two counts of child neglect. Her bond has been set at $6,000. The two children were placed into protective custody. Tech Support Pits From: Tuck Re: Get rid of Windows log-on prompt Dear Webby You have a great newsletter it is the first one I read every day. Keep up the good work. How do I get rid of the log on prompt in Windoze 7? I want to turn the computer on, go make coffee, and expect it to be up and ready for me, when I get back to it. Thanks Tuck Dear Tuck Click on START and paste this into the Search field: netplwiz It will eventually find it and show it highlighted in a search window. You will, after a few seconds, get a screen named USER ACCOUNTS Among other information you see a checkmarked checkbox. by a line about User must enter name and password Take that checkmark off, hit Hit APPLY and OK. That is all there is to it. No problem at all, as long as you know that top secret wizzards spell: netplwiz Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Store Puzzle Pieces in Ziploc Bags My toddler grandson loves puzzles. We have many boxes of them - 35-55 pieces each. So the pieces don't get mixed up with other puzzles, I bag each puzzle in a zip locked baggy (sandwich size) and place it back into the puzzle box. No lost pieces or mixed up puzzles. By Shirley from Shepherdsville, KY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thaks to Mona for this story: Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time." I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson. The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A Sunday School teacher asked her class, "Does anyone know what we mean by sins of omission?" A small girl replied, "Aren't those the sins we should have committed, but didn't?"
» Hyper Realistic Art

Today, July 17, in
1212 The Moslems were crushed in the Spanish crusade.
1453 France defeated England at Castillon, France, 
 which ended the 100 Years' War.
1785 France limited the importation of goods from Britain.
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte surrendered to the British at 
 Rochefort, France.
1821 Spain ceded Florida to the U.S.
1866 Authorization was given to build a tunnel beneath 
 the Chicago River. The three-year project cost $512,709.
1898 U.S. troops under General William R. Shafter took 
 Santiago de Cuba during the Spanish-American War.
1917 The British royal family adopted the Windsor name.
1941 Brigadier General Soervell directed Architect G. Edwin 
 Bergstrom to have basic plans and architectural perspectives 
 for an office building that could house 40,000 War Department 
 employees on his desk by the following Monday morning. 
 The building became known as the Pentagon.
1945 U.S. President Truman, Soviet leader Josef Stalin and 
 British Prime Minister Winston S. Churchill began meeting 
 at Potsdam in the final Allied summit of World War II. 
 During the meeting Stalin made the comment that 
 "Hitler had escaped."
1946 Chinese communists opened a drive against the Nationalist 
 army on the Yangtze River.
1960 Francis Gary Powers pled guilty to spying charges in a 
 Moscow court after his U-2 spy plane was shot down over 
 the Soviet Union.
1966 Ho Chi Minh ordered a partial mobilization of North 
 Vietnam forces to defend against American air strikes.
1975 An Apollo spaceship docked with a Soyuz spacecraft 
 in orbit. It was the first link up between the U.S. and 
 Soviet Union.
1997 After 117 years, the Woolworth Corp. closed its 
 last 400 stores.
1998 Biologists reported that they had deciphered the 
 genome (genetic map) of the syphilis bacterium.
2013  smiled


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How long to keep a blacklist 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, July 16


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The computing field is always in need of new cliches. --- Alan Perlis
Thanks to Connie for this: My mother-in-law says that she can not understand how the lackluster, low mentality, loser that her daughter had the misfortune to marry could have produced such smart, intelligent, beautiful, and wonderful grandchildren. She is inclined to believe that genetics skips every other generation. Therefore she is not holding out much hope for her great-grandchildren.
The Secrets To Successful Candle Making Discover The Secrets To Successfully Make Exquisite Candles At Home. Learn All The Ins-and-outs Of Working With Soy, Beeswax, Gel, And More! - Years Of Research Invested In This Book Will Benefit Both The Beginner And The Expert. Includes books on selling candles on eBay and at fairs. Get The Secrets To Successful Candle Making now!

I was helping a friend of mine with his roadside farm stand when a man stopped by and asked how much the eggs were. "Sixty cents for the small, seventy cents for the medium, ninety cents for the large and thirty cents for the cracked ones," I answered. "All right," he said, "crack me a dozen of the large ones."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Edwin Charles Tobergta, 34, Hamilton, Ohio Edwin Tobergta - Jailed After Having Sex With Pool Raft….. Again! Reported by The Weekly Vice Edwin Charles Tobergta, a 34-year-old Ohio man, was jailed Wednesday after he was allegedly caught by a child having sex with a rubber raft. And if this story seems a little too familiar, there's a reason for that. This isn't Edwin's first incident that involves having sex with inflatable objects. In August, 2011 Tobergta was arrested when he stole a neighbor's pool raft and began having sex with it. This time Tobergta was arrested after he allegedly stripped naked and began having sex with a pink inflatable pool raft in an ally behind his home. The incident took place in front of several children, one of who was the owner of the raft. Tobergta picked up the raft and went back into his home after one of the children shouted at him to stop. Besides the 2011 incident, Tobergta was also arrested in 2002 when he was caught having sex with an inflatable pumpkin. Tobergta has been jailed at least 5 times in recent years for similar acts. Tobergta, who has now been indicted by a grand jury, was booked into the Butler County Jail and charged with felony public indecency. He remains held in lieu of $25,000 bond. Tech Support Pits From: Eliza Re: How long to keep blacklist? Dear Webby You mentioned at one time how long to keep addresses in the Mailwasher blacklist. I am quite happy with MailWasher, but I noticed that the blacklist file is getting quite large, and sooner or later that must be putting a load on my machine. And how do you deal with spammers that keep changing their forged sending addresses? Eliza Dear Eliza MailWasher generally ignores the sender address, unless it is in the blacklist, since most spammers forge their sender address anyway. MailWasher checks the content of spam. Persistent spammers like the watch sellers are best dealt with a filter. It takes 20 seconds to make a filter, and you never see mail from those crooks again. To keep the blacklist short and fast, I age it off in two days. By then the spammers usually change their address anyway. For those of you who haven't got MailWasher yet, click the link and and get a free trial copy. You can get the free trial at http://webby.com/mailwasher http://webby.com/mailwasher Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Mechanical Pencil as Stylus I saw my daughter using one of her empty mechanical pencils as a stylus on her DSI. I am sure it could be used on any electronic which has a touch screen. Editor's Note: Be sure your mechanical pencil does not have a metal tip as this might scratch the screen. By Robyn Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
A waitress became violently ill while at work and was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room. In typical hospital fashion, she was placed on an examining table and then all but ignored for the next half-hour. Finally, she noticed a doctor out in the hall and yelled, "Please help me!" "Sorry," he replied, "it's not my table."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to make a perfect turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner, but there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store. "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has six legs!" They all asked the farmer how it tasted. "I don't know," said the farmer. "I can't catch him!"
» The Slinky

Today, July 16, in
1774 Russia and the Ottoman Empire signed the treaty of 
 Kuchuk-Kainardji, ending their six-year war.
1779 American troops under General Anthony Wayne captured 
 Stony Point, NY.
1790 The District of Columbia, or Washington, DC, was set 
 as the permanent seat of the United States Government.
1791 Louis XVI was suspended from office until he agreed 
 to ratify the constitution.
1875 The new French constitution was finalized.
1912 Bradley A. Fiske patented the airplane torpedo.
1926 The first underwater color photographs appeared in 
 "National Geographic" magazine. The pictures had been taken 
 near the Florida Keys.
1935 Oklahoma City became the first city in the U.S. to make 
 use of parking meters.
1940 Adolf Hitler ordered the preparations to begin on the 
 invasion of England, known as Operation Sea Lion.
1942 French police officers rounded up 13,000 Jews and held 
 them in the Winter Velodrome. The round-up was part of an 
 agreement between Pierre Laval and the Nazis. Germany had 
 agreed to not deport French Jews if France arrested 
 foreign Jews.
1944 Soviet troops occupied Vilna, Lithuania, in their 
 drive toward Germany.
1945 The United States detonated the first atomic bomb 
 in a test at Alamogordo, NM.
1950 The largest crowd in sporting history was 199,854. 
 They watched Uruguay defeat Brazil in the World Cup 
 soccer finals in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.
1951 J.D. Salinger's novel "The Catcher in the Rye" was 
 first published.
1969 Apollo 11 blasted off from Cape Kennedy, FL, and 
 began the first manned mission to land on the moon.
1979 Saddam Hussein became president of Iraq after forcing 
 Hasan al-Bakr to resign.
1981 After 23 years with the name Datsun, executives of 
 Nissan changed the name of their cars to Nissan.
2013  smiled


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Adding a path to new programs or data 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, July 15 


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. --- Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take. --- Wayne Gretzky (1961 - )
There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court. The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, your Honor, I am primitive. I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale." The judge asked, "Then how do you weigh the butter?" The farmer replied "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."
The Secrets To Successful Candle Making Discover The Secrets To Successfully Make Exquisite Candles At Home. Learn All The Ins-and-outs Of Working With Soy, Beeswax, Gel, And More! - Years Of Research Invested In This Book Will Benefit Both The Beginner And The Expert. Includes books on selling candles on eBay and at fairs. Get The Secrets To Successful Candle Making now!

"Oh Doctor, My husband thinks he is a chicken." "Oh no - how long has this been going on?" "About a year!" "A year! Why did you wait so long to come see me?" "Well, we need the eggs."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Wanda Lee Ann Podgurski, 60, in jail now Fugitive Tweets 'Catch Me If You Can', Gets Caught Reported by Walter, the Stonecarver A fugitive Manhattan Beach woman, who disappeared after being convicted of disability and insurance fraud in January, tweeted, "Catch me if you can," on June 5. She was caught on July 4. Wanda Lee Ann Podgurski, 60, was apprehended Thursday in Rosarita, Mexico, by the Fugitive Task Force. Her case was turned over to the U.S. Marshals and the Computer and Technology Crime High-Tech Response Team. The tweet is thought to have been directed at San Diego District Attorney Bonnie Dumanis: Podgurski's Twitter account has since been deleted, after having first tweeted out words of congratulations to the D.A.'s Office and U.S. Marshals. The former Amtrak clerk had previously been sentenced in absentia to 20 years in prison after being convicted of collecting over $650,000 in disability and insurance payments from seven insurance companies and one government agency after faking fall injuries, reports the L.A. Times. She claimed she slipped and fell at her home in 2006, which caused her to be severely disabled. Podgurski was also ordered to pay more than $1 million in fines and restitution. While she was "injured" and requiring "in-home care," Podgurski traveled to a number of destinations, including China, the Dominican Republic, New York, Seattle, Boston and Fort Lauderdale. During the two-month trial, she was free on $500,000 bail. She fled after her conviction. Her last known address was in Manhattan Beach, though she had previously lived in various places throughout Southern California, including Encinitas, Fallbrook and Leucadia. U.S. Marshals reportedly did not publicly announce how exactly they tracked down Podgurski, but Dumanis suggested the tweet played a pivotal role in her capture, perhaps thanks to an IP address. Dumanis said of Podgurski, "The defendant in this case was brazen in both the large-scale fraud she committed and the way she mocked the criminal justice system." With a tweet like that, we'd say "mocked" is the perfect word. Podgurski pleaded not guilty Monday to failure to appear while free on bail, according to Fox News. She now faces more than 30 years in prison for her ultimately unsuccessful disappearing act. Her bail money is now due in full, and she will not get bail again, ever. Tech Support Pits From: Walter Re: Typo in Preserve picture file creation date Dear Webby, That should have been CMD not CMS Close, but not quite right. By the way, if somebody thought robocopy or the Windows Resource kit was suspicious and dumped it at one time, they can get it again from http://www.petri.co.il/download_windows ... _tools.htm Walter Dear Walter You are right, that should indeed be CMD Still typing more by feel than sight. If you have to put the Resource Kit into the path, add this line to your bat: path %path%;C:\Program Files\Windows Resource Kits\Tools That should do the trick Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Save Your Packing Material Save all the packing elements from the gifts you got through the mail. The bubble wrap, plastic peanuts, pillows, etc. can easily be re-used. Not to mention padded bags, etc. It's frugal and green, too! By Pamphyila from Los Angeles Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. "Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan, 'come fly the friendly skies'?" Joe answered the correct airline. "Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, "Don't leave home without it?" Brenda answered the correct credit card company with no difficulty. "Now John, Tell me who uses the slogan, 'Just do it'?" And John answered, "Mom."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A new senate page was reporting for duty on Capitol Hill in Washington. The department head who was giving him his instructions said, "And another thing. You must remember the telephone number here. IF you are ever calling in from an outside line you must dial Capitol 4-3121." Then, noticing the puzzled look on the page's face, he said, "What's the matter? You look as though you don't understand." "Oh, nohtin , Senor," the new page said. "I jus donnow how to dial ta capital four!"
» Ugly mix of duck, beaver & otter

Today, July 15, in
1099 Jerusalem fell to the Crusaders.
1410 Poles and Lithuanians defeated the Teutonic knights at 
 Tannenburg, Prussia.
1789 The electors of Paris set up a "Commune" to live without 
 the authority of the government.
1813 Napoleon Bonaparte's representatives met with the Allies 
 in Prague to discuss peace terms.
1888 "Printers’ Ink" was first sold.
1901 Over 74,000 Pittsburgh steel workers went on strike.
1904 The first Buddhist temple in the U.S. was established 
 in Los Angeles, CA.
1916 In Seattle, WA, Pacific Aero Products was incorporated 
 by William Boeing. The company was later renamed Boeing Co.
1942 The first supply flight from India to China over the 'Hump' 
 was carried to help China's war effort.
1958 Five thousand U.S. Marines landed in Beirut, Lebanon, to 
 protect the pro-Western government. The troops withdrew 
 October 25, 1958.
1965 The spacecraft Mariner IV sent back the first close-up 
 pictures of the planet Mars.
1968 Commercial air travel began between the U.S. and the 
 U.S.S.R., when the first plane, a Soviet Aeroflot jet, landed 
 at Kennedy International Airport in New York.
1987 Taiwan ended thirty-seven years of martial law.
2013  smiled


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Preserving picture creation dates when copying 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, July 14 

Back in the saddle again!



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to payoff with your money. --- G. Gordon Liddy The Carbon Tax scheme is just a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. --- D.W. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. --- Frederic Bastiat, French economist(1801-1850) Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you! --- Pericles (430 B.C.) Marriage worked well in the 18th century because people only lived to be 40. --- Meade
Thanks to Sandie for sending this classic: The computer swallowed grandma Yes, honestly it's true. She pressed 'control' and 'enter' And disappeared from view. It devoured her completely, The thought just makes me squirm. She must have caught a virus Or been eaten by a worm. I've searched through the recycle bin And files of every kind; I've even used the Internet, But nothing did I find. In desperation, I asked Jeeves My searches to refine. The reply from him was negative, Not a thing was found 'online.' So, if inside your 'Inbox,' My Grandma you should see, Please 'Copy,''Scan' and 'Paste' her And send her back to me! This is a tribute to all the Grandmas who have been fearless and learned to use the computer. They are the greatest!!! -------------- And some GreatGrammas too!
How To Grow Organic Mushroom At Home for fun and profit: Step-by-step Videos It is easy enough to expand from hobby to professional grower or teacher. Order Mushroom Growing 4 You now!

Once there was a little boy who lived in the country. For bathroom facilities, they had to use an outhouse. The little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer, cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the water. One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and pushed. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away. That evening his dad sternly told him to sit down. Knowing he was in trouble, the little boy asked why. The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it, son?" The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth." The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in that cherry tree!"
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version First white one of the year Lillemor
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Anthony Thomas, 33, Ocala, Floriduh Florida man robs gas station after applying for job Reported by Helen Police say 33-year-old Anthony Thomas was at an Ocala, Florida gas station applying for a job. When the clerk leaves the counter, security cameras show Thomas reaching over and grabbing a handful of cash — around $130 — out of the open register. On Tuesday morning, shortly after filling out a job application with his actual name, Ocala police say Anthony D. T homas, 33, who was standing by a door in the gas station, pilfered money from a drawer and left. A surveillance video shows the theft, which occurred while a store employee wasn't looking. Thomas was arrested and faces charges of burglary, petit theft and resisting arrest with violence, according to the Ocala Police Department. OPD received a call from the Citgo, 1517 SW College Road in Ocala, at 9:48 a.m. A member of the agency's Special Deployment Unit and other officers got a description of the suspect. Thomas was a frequent visitor at the store, where he would buy cigarettes. The officer caught Thomas and held onto him briefly, but the suspect fought him off and squirmed away, according to OPD. The officer grabbed him again and, with help from officers Jeff Hall and Brett Casteel, was able to make the arrest. They reported finding most of the cash on him. Police said $130 was stolen. The suspect had been wearing a shirt during the burglary. Thomas had on jean shorts but no shirt or shoes when arrested. "I did not go into no cash register to get no money," Thomas told a reporter after his arrest. "I didn't rob no store." Tech Support Pits From: Nigle Re: Preserve picture file creation date Dear Webby, When I try to copy pictures to my back-up drive, Windows stomps over the file creation date with the copy date, which is totally useless. Is there a way around that? Thanks Nigle Dear Nigle Not officially, but there IS a way. You have to go into DOS, which is still underneath all the glitter. Click on START type CMS and hit ENTER. The scary black DOS screen pops up. In there, type robocopy /? That will give you all the command options for robocopy I would agree, that is a lot more information than almost all of you, except maybe Moe, are interested in or can digest. All you need, thugh is robocopy source destination Let's say the source are the pictures on the camera chip g:\ and they are in g:\DCIM\303CANON and the destination is the \pix\CANON\July folder on the E: drive. So your command would be robocopy g:\DCIM\303CANON e:\pix\CANON\July Actually quite simple, if you don't complicate it. Robocopy copies the entire folder by default. You can narrow that down by using wildcards, but for your purposes, the entire folder is probably best. Robocopy preserves the creation dates by default, which is usually of extreme importance to photographers. We really don't give a hoot about when a picture was copied from a chip to a drive, we want to know, when the picture was taken. Spend a bit of time getting familiar with robocopy. If typo-ing that whole command is too strenuous on your typo finger, or if you want to delegate that chore to your spouse, you can write a BAT to automate it Use a plain text editor like NoteMaid, NoteTab, or even Notepad or WordPad. With the last two, you have to watch the file saving, They like to change the extension and piss .txt at the end. That kills a BAT. A BAT needs to have .bat as the extension. Save the file as pixcopy.bat or something like that, at a place, that you can find easily, for example right at the top of the C: drive. In the file write: @echo off robocopy g:\DCIM\303CANON e:\pix\CANON\July echo ****** Copied ******* PAUSE exit Save it. Then find that pixcopy.bat with the file explorer, and make a shortcut to it. Drag the shortcut onto the desktop. Change the icon to that shortcut to one, that makes sense for that. Now, when your spouse clicks on that shortcut icon, Robocopy copies all the files from the g:\DCIM\303CANON folder on the camera chip onto e:\pix\CANON\July and then prompts him with white text on a black screen: ****** Copied ******* Hit any key When he does, the black DOS screen disappears. If you want to be devious, you can write in the BAT: @echo off robocopy g:\DCIM\303CANON e:\pix\CANON\July echo ****** Copied ******* PAUSE echo not THAT key! PAUSE exit Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Make Your Own Pads for Protecting Hardwood Floors My dining room chairs were scratching my hardwood floors. Instead of spending money on the stick-on felt thingys that fall off, I cut furry fabric (I used a 2 liter bottle cap as a template for cutting) and hot glued them to the feet of all my chairs. By Jenn from Lenox, MA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why. A couple in Morro Bay, California, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent chilly spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream. The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor. His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in, wouldn't listen to his protests and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out. About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical! Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital. The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa. The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her. The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat. By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife. The little snake again crawled out from under the sofa. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car. Meanwhile, the burning drapes, were seen by the neighbors who called the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire truck ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out). Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world. A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants! for the night. That's when he left her and moved to Alaska. No snakes there.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Jack was driving home after a hard days work, and he was not in a good mood. Nothing at the office had gone right, and so when he was about to make the turn off and a car came wildly careening around the corner in his lane, he was furious! To make matters worse, the lady driving the car, a former neighbor whom he knew well, stuck her head out the window and yelled, "PIG! PIG!" Jack couldn't contain himself any longer. He rolled down his window, stuck his head out, and shouted, "BATTLE AXE!" Still fuming, he drove around the corner, and ran into a big pig, standing in the middle of the road.
» Wedding Customs Around the World

Today, July 14, in
1223 - In France, Louis VIII succeeded his father, Philip 
 Augustus.
1430 - Joan of Arc, taken prisoner by the Burgundians in May, 
 was handed over to Pierre Cauchon, the bishop of Beauvais.
1456 - Hungarians defeated the Ottomans at the Battle of 
  Belgrade.
1536 - France and Portugal signed the naval treaty of Lyons, 
  which aligned them against Spain.
1789 - French Revolution began when Parisians stormed the 
 Bastille prison and released the seven prisoners inside.
1798 - The U.S. Congress passed the Sedition Act. The act 
 made it a federal crime to write, publish, or utter false 
 or malicious statements about the U.S. government.
1868 - Alvin J. Fellows patented the tape measure.
1891 - The primacy of Thomas Edison's lamp patents was 
  upheld in the court decision Electric Light Company 
  vs. U.S. Electric Lighting Company.
1900 - European Allies retook Tientsin, China, from the 
 rebelling Boxers.
1911 - Harry N. Atwood landed an airplane on the lawn of 
 the White House to accept an award from U.S. President Taft.
1914 - Robert H. Goddard patented liquid rocket-fuel.
1933 - All German political parties except the Nazi Party 
 were outlawed.
1940 - A force of German Ju-88 bombers attacked Suez, Egypt, 
 from bases in Crete.
1945 - American battleships and cruisers bombarded the 
 Japanese home islands for the first time.
1946 - Dr. Benjamin Spock’s "The Common Sense Book of 
  Baby and Child Care" was first published.
1951 - The first sports event to be shown in color, 
 on CBS-TV, was the Molly Pitcher Handicap at Oceanport, NJ.
1958 - The army of Iraq overthrew the monarchy.
1965 - The American space probe Mariner 4 flew by Mars, 
 and sent back photographs of the planet.
1998 - Los Angeles sued 15 tobacco companies for $2.5 billion 
 over the dangers of secondhand smoke.
2008 - The iTunes Music Store reached 10 million applications 
 downloaded.
2009 - The iTunes Music Store reached 1.5 billion applications 
 downloaded. 
2013  smiled


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How to stop FireFox from reverting to an unwanted, bad version 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, July 9

Today I have to go to Calgary for more 
injections into my eyeballs. That means no send-out
of any newsletters on Thursday, Friday, Saturday.


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose. --- Heda Bejar
"Make me one with everything," the Buddhist monk said to the hot-dog vendor who was hawking food near the temple. The vendor made a frank with mustard, ketchup, relish, and onions. The monk took it and handed over a twenty-dollar bill. The vendor stashed the cash in his apron and turned his attention to the next customer. "But where's my change?" the monk inquired. "Change must come from within, my friend," said the vendor.
How To Grow Organic Mushroom At Home for fun and profit: Step-by-step Videos It is easy enough to expand from hobby to professional grower or teacher. Order Mushroom Growing 4 You now!

A classic: A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character. She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined. After the trial he asked the judge, "This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?" The judge said that was true. "Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?" the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action. The man then proceeded to look directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, "Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson."
Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andre Bowman, 30, from Kansas City Missouri 19-Year-Old Slizzard Bloodies Grandpa’s Nose And Bites His Grandma After They Confront Him For Drinking Up Their Wine Reported by Bossip Interesting description they use for that Bonehead! A Deltona slizzard confronted by his grandmother for drinking her two bottles of wine bit her on the shoulder, investigating Volusia deputies said. Blake Hale, 19, also gave his 70-year-old grandpa a bloody nose, an arrest report shows. Deputies were called to the Albury Avenue home in Deltona at 7:49 p.m. Tuesday where 59-year-old Sue Wilson reported her grandson had bitten her, investigators said. Wilson said Hale was acting drunk when she came home and she noticed her two bottles of wine were empty, deputies said. The woman reported Hale became defensive, angry and started yelling obscenities at her. The verbal argument escalated into a physical confrontation and Hale started to bite Wilson on the shoulder as she walked out the front door, the report said. Wilson had a bite mark on her right shoulder, deputies said. When deputies made contact with Wilson’s 70-year-old husband, he reported Hale had punched him and given him a bloody nose. Deputies arrested Hale and charged him with battery on a person 65 years or older and battery, the arrest report states. Tech Support Pits From: Mare Re: FireFox reverted to bad #22 Dear Webby, Webby, I am so frustrated. I read the letter from the lady who was unhappy with the new Firefox (as I also am very unhappy with it) And took your advice. All was good. I had my normal size print back and my Roboform was back. However, the next day when I turned my computer on, I was right back to the new Firefox. How do I change it and KEEP it? Thanks for so much help in the past. I hope all goes well with your shots. Will you have to do this for the rest of your life? It sounds so painful and my heart goes out to you. Take care and thanks. Mare in Maryland Dear Mare Have not written to you in too long a time! How are you? In FireFox click on TOOLS OPTIONS ADVANCED and set the buttons like this: It will occasionally nag you about updating, but that nag pop-up clicks away with one click. Re the shots, I have to go again tomorrow. No idea how many more times I have to go. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Laundry Washing And Drying Tips I supplement regular detergent with borax, and wash in cold water always. When using the clothes dryer (if it's too cold and wet to dry outside or on a rack inside), I throw in a couple clean tennis balls. They move the clothes around more, preventing the inevitable lumping of wet laundry. By Tarah B. from Moses Lake, WA A bit of liquid fabric softener added to the wash makes line dried laundry nice and soft. The benefit is that you are not ripping a year off clothes, like you do every time you put it into a dryer. That handful of lint in the lint catcher is what the dryer ripped off the fabric. I have some shirts, that are over twenty years old, and except for being in dire need of ironing, they are still like new. When I retire, I am going to learn how to iron shirts. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
"Make me one with everything," the Buddhist monk said to the hot-dog vendor who was hawking food near the temple. The vendor made a frank with mustard, ketchup, relish, and onions. The monk took it and handed over a twenty-dollar bill. The vendor stashed the cash in his apron and turned his attention to the next customer. "But where's my change?" the monk inquired. "Change must come from within, my friend," said the vendor.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
One night a teenage girl brought her new boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance: leather jacket, tattoos and pierced nose. Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Dear," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice." "Oh please, Mom," replied the daughter, "if he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"
» Pretty Froggies

Today, July 10, in
1609 The Catholic states in Germany set up a league under 
 the leadership of Maximillian of Bavaria.
1679 The British crown claimed New Hampshire as a royal colony.
1776 The statue of King George III was pulled down in 
 New York City.
1778 In support of the American Revolution, Louis XVI declared 
 war on England.
1821 U.S. troops took possession of Florida. The territory was 
 sold by Spain.
1866 Edison P. Clark patented his indelible pencil.
1890 Wyoming became the 44th state to join the United States.
1910 W.R. Brookins became the first to fly an airplane at an 
 altitude of one mile.
1913 The highest temperature ever recorded in the U.S. was 
 134 degrees in Death Valley, CA.
1928 George Eastman first demonstrated color motion pictures.
1938 Howard Hughes completed a 91 hour flight around the world.
1940 The 114-day Battle of Britain began during World War II.
1949 The first practical rectangular television was presented. 
 The picture tube measured 16 by 12 and sold for $12.
1951 Armistice talks aimed at ending the Korean conflict began
1951 Sugar Ray Robinson was defeated for only the second time 
 in 133 fights as Randy Turpin took the middleweight crown.
1953 American forces withdraw from Pork Chop Hill in Korea 
 after heavy fighting.
1962 The Telstar Communications satellite was launched. 
 The satellite relayed TV and telephone signals between 
 Europe and the U.S.
1973 Britain granted the Bahamas their independence after 
 three centuries of British colonial rule.
1985 Coca-Cola resumed selling the old formula of Coke, 
 it was renamed "Coca-Cola Classic." It was also announced 
 that they would continue to sell "New" Coke.
1991 U.S. President Bush lifted economic sanctions against 
 South Africa, citing its "profound transformation" toward 
 racial equality.
1997 Scientists in London said DNA from a Neanderthal skeleton 
 supported a theory that all humanity descended from an 
 "African Eve" 100,000 to 200,000 years ago.
2002 Peter Paul Rubens' painting "The Massacre of the Innocents" 
 sold for $76.2 million at Sotheby's.
2013  smiled


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Laptop and air travel 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, July 9

On Wednesday I have to go to Calgary for more 
injections into my eyeballs. That means no send-out
of any newsletters on Thursday, Friday, Saturday.



If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

I'm worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It's not holding a charge. --- Edward Chilton All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why. --- James Thurber
There was a university in New England where the students operated a "bank" of term papers and other homework assignments. There were papers to suit all needs. Since it would look odd if an undistinguished student suddenly handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for an A grade, B grade, and C grade. One student, who had spent the weekend on more "extra-curricular pursuits," went to the bank, and as his course was a standard one he took out a paper for a inconspicuous C. He then retyped it and handed the work in. In due course he received it back with the professor's comments. "I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always thought it was worth an A, and now I'm pleased to give it one!"
How To Grow Organic Mushroom At Home for fun and profit: Step-by-step Videos It is easy enough to expand from hobby to professional grower or teacher. Order Mushroom Growing 4 You now!

It was the first camping experience for Jed. As soon as he had pitched his tent, he went for a hike in the woods. In about fifteen minutes he rushed back into camp, bleeding and disheveled. "What happened?" asked a fellow camper. "I was chased by a black snake!" cried the frightened Jed. The other campers laughed and retorted, "Those black snakes aren't deadly." "Listen," groaned Jed, "If he can make you jump off a hundred-fifty-foot cliff, he is!!!!"
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Andre Bowman, 30, from Kansas City Missouri Dopey accident victim attempts to kidnap baby of couple that stopped to help him Reported by Sailor Andre Bowman, 30, from Kansas City Missouri was high on PCP when he fell out of a moving car. He then got run over by the vehicle behind him who did not realize that the man just fallen to the ground. Apparently the driver of the vehicle, that ran over Bowman, was under the influence of something strong, and did not notice he had driven over a body. The accident happened around 2 p.m. on Saturday near I-70 & Blue Ridge Cutoff. Some other passing drivers stopped to help Bowman, since his intoxication made it appear as if he was seriously hurt. One couple, Sarah Morris and Matthew Nicotra, who stopped to Bowman help him, had their two babies in the backseat of their car. All of a sudden the "injured" man jumped up and ran to the couple’s car and he tried to kidnap their 2-month-old-baby girl who was inside her car seat. “He was trying to grab her out of the back seat, I got out, grabbed him, told him to let go of my daughter and he wouldn’t let go,” said the baby’s father Matthew Nicotra. “The parents kept yelling at him and pulling the car seat so he couldn’t take the baby, that’s when other drivers stepped in to help.” said one onlooker. Friends of Bowman however say that he is a victim himself. The man was left heartbroken after his 18-month-old daughter Ada, was killed last month by her mother’s boyfriend. The boyfriend, 24-year -old Bryant L. Sykes Jr., admitted to throwing the girl up against the wall. The mother and her boyfriend are facing charges in the death of the young girl. His friend believes that he was not trying to hurt the baby. She believes that the little white girl in the car reminded him of his daughter and he snapped. Bowman is trying to get custody of his other two children Angelicia, 2, and Amileo, 3, but this incident might end his chances of getting custody of his kids. Being so stoned, that he fell out of a car, is not a sign of a good father. As of now, Bowman is in the hospital pending charges of attempted child abduction. Tech Support Pits From: Erika Re: Laptop and air travel Dear Webby, Considering the new restrictions, what do you recommend re laptops, especially if they have to go into the checked luggage? Erika Dear Erika In most places they allow laptops onto the planes again. However, if they don't, take out the hard drive and put it into your purse or wallet. You can even get padded drive wallets made for USB drives. Laptop drives are small enough that you can easily jam them into even a very tight camera case. All you need to take it out and put it back in is a small Phillips screwdriver. The type that looks like a short pencil and goes on a key ring is ideal, but a key, with the edges at the tip sharpened a bit, works fine too. However, if it looks like a screwdriver, put it into the checked luggage. TSA agents seem to be fascinated by screwdrivers and anything, that looks essential, and will confiscate it for sure. The rest of the laptop is replaceable. Don't get one of thoe fancy show-off Zero-Halliburton padded metal cases! Their locks are not TSA approved and your laptop may stay behind while you travel. A fancy case will just tempt somebody to rip it off. When you pack, keep in mind that when the baggage handlers slam the luggage onto the conveyor, they do it with the top down and wheels UP. Put the laptop somewhere in the middle, cushioned by clothes,not near the top of the case. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Flat Sheets Over Comforter With a king sized bed, washing bedding is a major task - and washing blankets and comforters sometimes necessitates a trip to a laundromat to use the high capacity machines. Having two cats sleeping (and shedding) on the bed does not make this any easier. I have a duvet cover for my comforter, but even that takes up an entire load on its own, and in the summer we don't use the comforter at all. I simplified my life, and reduced my laundry expenses, by buying a few flat sheets that coordinate with my bedding and decor. When I make the bed, I spread the flat sheet across the top of the bed (I usually turn it sideways so it hangs nicely - but each sheet varies a bit in dimensions). When I change my sheets, I just grab this sheet also - throw them all in the wash together - and then I have a hair free bed topper and less bulk in my laundry. By Regina from Rochester, NY Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
A guy takes his greenhorn wife hunting on a ranch. When they reach their deer blinds, the guy says, "If you shoot a deer, be sure not to let somebody else say he's the one who shot it. Otherwise, he'll take the deer from you. The deer belongs to whoever shoots it." The guy goes to his own blind. Ten minutes later, he hears his wife shooting from her blind nearby. He rushes over and finds her pointing her rifle at a cowboy who's hollering, "Awright, lady, awright - you can have your freaking deer! Just lemme get my saddle off it!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A guy is walking down the street with his friend. He says to his friend, "I'm a walking economy." His friend replies, "How's that?" "It's like this -- my hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and the combination of these factors is putting me into a depression."
» Know Dolls Houses, Past & Present:

Today, July 9, in
0118 Hadrian, Rome's new emperor, made his entry into the city.
0455 Avitus, the Roman military commander in Gaul, became 
 Emperor of the West.
1540 England's King Henry VIII had his 6-month-old marriage 
 to his fourth wife, Anne of Cleves, annulled.
1609 In a letter to the crown, the emperor Rudolf II granted 
 Bohemia freedom of worship.
1790 The Swedish navy captured one third of the Russian fleet 
 at the naval battle of Svensksund in the Baltic Sea.
1808 The leather-splitting machine was patented by Samuel Parker.
1816 Argentina declared independence from Spain.
1872 The doughnut cutter was patented by John F. Blondel.
1877 Alexander Graham Bell, Gardiner Greene Hubbard, Thomas 
 Sanders and Thomas Watson formed the Bell Telephone Company.
1878 The corncob pipe was patented by Henry Tibbe.
1943 American and British forces made an amphibious landing on Sicily.
1947 The engagement of Britain's Princess Elizabeth to 
 Lt. Philip Mountbatten was announced.
1951 U.S. President Truman asked Congress to formally end 
 the state of war between the United States and Germany.
1971 The United States turned over complete responsibility of the 
 Demilitarized Zone to South Vietnamese units.
1997 Mike Tyson was banned from the boxing ring and fined 
 $3 million for biting the ear of opponent Evander Holyfield.
2005 Danny Way, a daredevil skateboarder, rolled down a 
 large ramp and jumped across the Great Wall of China.
2013  smiled


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How to get rid of Forwarding lines or symbols 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, July 8


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try. --- Beverly Sills The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it. --- Patrick Young "Everyone wants to save the earth. Nobody wants to help mom with the dishes" --- P.J. O'Rourke
The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain. When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay. When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying. The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn. I avoid the toilet paper isle.
How To Grow Organic Mushroom At Home for fun and profit: Step-by-step Videos It is easy enough to expand from hobby to professional grower or teacher. Order Mushroom Growing 4 You now!

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?" "No," the second man, replied, "it's Thursday." The third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jennifer Alvarado, 25, El Paso, TX Stabbed Mother 12 Times After Accusing Her Of Being Possessed By The Devil Reported by The Weekly Vice Jennifer Alvarado, a 25-year-old Texas woman, was jailed Thursday after she allegedly stabbed her mother a dozen times because she believed her mother was "possessed by the devil." According to El Paso police, officers were dispatched Tuesday at 9:45 p.m. after neighbors called to report a stabbing. Police arrived on the scene to find Alvarado walking the neighborhood without any clothes on and covered with blood. Responding officers discovered her mother, 56-year-old Barbara Herrera, laying on the ground outside their home. She was covered with blood from 12 stab wounds, according to the arrest affidavit. Investigators say Alvarado used a kitchen knife to stab her mother in the face, breasts, abdomen, back and shoulder areas. Herrera was taken to University Medical Center of El Paso where she is listed in serious but stable condition. Neighbors told police they saw the two women struggling and heard Alvarado shouting that she was going to kill her mother because she was evil and possessed by the devil. Alvarado was booked into the El Paso County Jail and charged with suspicion of attempted murder. Her bond has been set at $200,000. Tech Support Pits From: Janet Re: Line on the side of mail Dear Webby, Love this Newsletter!! Thanks you for all your hard work. So happy someone told me about it. I have a computer question. How do you get rid of the blue or black line that is on the left of an e-mail when forwarded?? Janet Dear Janet The line or > marks on the left side are there on purpose, to show what had been sent to you and differentiate it from what you had added. That is standard with all email programs. If you want to make it look like you had written the stuff that somebody has sent to you, copy it into a new email instead of forwarding, or copy and paste it above the received stuff and then delete the received part. With some email programs you CAN turn that line off. Look in the Help for "Prefix for Original Message when Replying or Forwarding". If you don't want a permanent setting like that, but just strip the forwarding prefix marks >>>> from chain letters and hoax mails, you can use StripMail. You can download it free from my toolbox at http://webby.com/tools Look for this icon: Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Designate an Area In Your Fridge for Leftovers Leftovers usually need to be used first so create a space on the top shelf of your fridge just for leftovers. It will help you use them before they go bad and prevent moldy surprises when you clean out your fridge. Also, try to use clear tupperware or glass jars for leftovers so you can see what is in them at a glance. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
A couple drove several miles down a country road, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument, and neither wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules and pigs, the wife sarcastically asked, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the husband replied, "In-laws."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A counselor was helping his kids put their stuff away on their first morning in Summer Camp. He was surprised to see one of the youngsters had an umbrella. The counselor asked, "Why did you bring an umbrella to camp?" The kid answered, "Did you ever have a mother?"
» Know The Lies

Today, July 8, in
1099 Christian soldiers on the First Crusade march around 
 Jerusalem.
1608 The first French settlement at Quebec was established by 
 Samuel de Champlain.
1663 King Charles II of England granted a charter to 
 Rhode Island.
1693 Uniforms for police in New York City were authorized.
1709 Peter the Great defeated Charles XII at Poltava, in 
 the Ukraine, The Swedish empire was effectively ended.
1755 Britain broke off diplomatic relations with France as 
 their disputes in the New World intensified.
1794 French troops captured Brussels, Belgium.
1815 Louis XVIII returned to Paris after the defeat of 
 Napoleon.
1865 C.E. Barnes patented the machine gun.
1879 The first ship to use electric lights departed from 
 San Francisco, CA.
1881 Edward Berner, druggist in Two Rivers, WI, poured 
 chocolate syrup onto ice cream in a dish. To that time 
 chocolate syrup had only been used for making ice-cream sodas.
1889 John L. Sullivan defeated Jake Kilrain, in the last 
 championship bare-knuckle fight. The fight lasted 75 rounds.
1950 General Douglas MacArthur was named commander-in-chief of 
 United Nations forces in Korea.
1960 The Soviet Union charged Gary Powers with espionage. He 
 was shot down in a U-2 spy plane.
1963 All Cuban-owned assets in the United States were frozen.
1981 The Solar Challenger became the frist solar-powered airplane 
 to cross the English Channel.
1986 Kurt Waldheim was inaugurated as president of Austria 
 despite controversy over his alleged ties to Nazi war crimes.
1997 NATO invited Poland, Hungary, and the Czech Republic to 
 join the alliance in 1999.
2010 The Solar Impulse completed the first 24-hour flight 
 by a solar powered plane.
2013  smiled


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McAfee does not like XP-SP2 any more 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, July 7


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Only the mediocre are always at their best. --- Jean Giraudoux (1882 - 1944) Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel. --- Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972) In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act. --- George Orwell
A motorist driving by a Texas ranch hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. "Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out." The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer. "Here," he said, "is a check for $900. It's postdated six years from now."
How To Grow Organic Mushroom At Home for fun and profit: Step-by-step Videos It is easy enough to expand from hobby to professional grower or teacher. Order Mushroom Growing 4 You now!

Six-year old Angie, and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two big men standing by the door? They're hushers."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kevin Patrick Smith, Upper East Side, NY Westie gang member busted by feds caught with to-do list with 'rob bank' written down Reported by Karl One New York bank robbery suspect was so well organized that cops found a to-do list with the words “rob bank” written on it in the crook’s Manhattan apartment after his arrest, sources said. Fastidious felon Kevin Patrick Smith, a Westies gang associate who once did 10 years for bank robbery, was busted yesterday outside his Upper East Side building as he headed out to rob a bank in New Paltz, the feds said. The cash-strapped ex-con needed money to pay his legal bills and other debts, the FBI said. Smith allegedly hired an unwitting livery cabby to drive him nearly 80 miles to the Ulster County town, where he planned to hit a Wells Fargo bank yesterday. The conscientious con should have spent more time vetting his cronies than drawing up lists. Thanks to his accomplice — an FBI informant — Smith was arrested by an FBI SWAT team as he left his apartment at 8 a.m.. The unidentified livery driver, who was waiting nearby, was questioned and released without charges. Midtown-based GroundLink Car and Limo Service said the round trip to New Paltz would have cost $530, including tip. According to court papers, Smith, 56, was planning to pick up the accomplice and a .44 Magnum handgun he had stashed in a Bronx storage facility before heading north to knock over the bank. The accomplice secretly recorded Smith for the FBI as they plotted the heist, the Manhattan federal court complaint says. Smith allegedly approached the unidentified snitch on Wednesday and recruited him for the holdup, saying he had a driver who would take them to the bank. During a follow-up meeting the next day, Smith drew a map of the area and said he would bring the gun, as well as gloves, a ski mask and a bag for the loot, which the accomplice agreed to help him load in the trunk, according to the complaint. “Smith explained that he needed cash to pay off debts, including money owed to his lawyer, credit cards and rent,” FBI Agent Michael Powers wrote in the complaint. When Smith was nabbed, he was carrying a bag that was “partially hidden by a heavy winter coat,” and which contained a black T-shirt, three pairs of gloves and a key. He was charged with one count of attempted bank robbery, which carries up to 25 years in prison. The Westies were a feared Irish-American gang that ran violent extortion and loan-sharking rackets out of Manhattan’s Hell’s Kitchen before being broken up with the help of turncoat member Francis “Mickey” Featherstone in the late 1980s. Last year, The Post revealed the gang was back in business under the leadership of John Bokun. Tech Support Pits From: Chuck Re: McAfee does not like XP-SP2 any more Hi Webby, I can't believe the notice I just received from McAfee. It said they no longer will support XP with service pack 2. Do you have any suggestion on how to keep my XP with a working anti virus? Chuck Dear Chuck SP3 has been fixed and is quite OK now. Just up your XP to SP3, and everything should be fine. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Clean Windows With Coffee Filters Clean windows with coffee filters by saturating them with window cleaner, all purpose cleaner, or vinegar. They are durable and will not leave lint like a paper towels does. You can put in an airtight container and have ready to use wipes available at all times. By lessisbest from Wilmington, MA Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
One Sunday in a Midwest city, a young child was "acting up" during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew, but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
» Critters Galore

Today, July 7, in
1846 U.S. annexation of California was proclaimed at 
 Monterey after the surrender of a Mexican garrison.
1862 The first railroad post office was tested on the 
 Hannibal and St. Joseph Railroad in Missouri.
1885 G. Moore Peters patented the cartridge-loading machine.
1898 The United States annexed Hawaii.
1920 A device known as the radio compass was used for 
 the first time on a U.S. Navy airplane near Norfolk, VA.
1930 Construction began on Boulder Dam, later Hoover Dam, 
 on the Colorado River.
1937 Japanese forces invaded China.
1950 The U.N. Security Council authorized military aid 
 for South Korea.
1969 Canada's House of Commons gave final approval to 
 a measure that made the French language equal to 
 English throughout the national government.
2011 The world's first artificial organ transplant was achieved. 
 It was an artificial windpipe coated with stem cells. 
2013  smiled


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Alternate Home Page 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Saturday, July 6.


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him. --- Henry Stimson (1867 - 1950) Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something. --- Plato (427 BC - 347 BC)
The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her now ex-husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper. "Honey," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to retire six over- aged destroyers." To which the husband replies, "Oh...I'm sorry to hear your mother will be out of work."
How To Grow Organic Mushroom At Home for fun and profit: Step-by-step Videos It is easy enough to expand from hobby to professional grower or teacher. Order Mushroom Growing 4 You now!

At an international conference, an American, a British and a Russian were discussing the shortcomings of their diagnoses. "I can't stand it some time. We treat people for cancer, and then they die of AIDS." "I know what you mean." said the British. "We treat them for yellow fever, and it turns out they had malaria. Then, of course, they die." "That is not a problem in our country" said the Russian doctor. "When we treat people for a disease, they die of *that* disease."
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Peggy Hill, 62, Bradenton, Floriduh Jailed On Felony Battery Charge After Kissing Cop On The Nose Reported by the Smoking Gun A Florida woman is jailed on a felony battery on a law enforcement officer charge after she allegedly kissed a cop on the nose. Peggy Hill, 62, was arrested late Saturday evening outside her Bradenton residence by Manatee County Sheriff’s Office deputies who had arrived at the home in response to a call about a dispute between Hill and a neighbor about a fence between their properties. As Hill was conversing with Sergeant Randy Lamb, “she approached him and kissed him on his nose against his will.” Lamb, an 18-year veteran, stepped away from Hill and “wiped off the saliva from his nose,” according to an arrest report. With the help of another deputy, Lamb took Hill to the ground and handcuffed her. In a post-arrest interview, Hill said that Lamb “was being aggressive towards her,” and that “the thought just popped in her head to kiss him on his nose, so she kissed him on his nose.” Hill told deputies that she had consumed “about 3 glasses of wine” before deputies arrived at her home. Pictured in the above mug shot, the retired Hill was booked into the county jail early Sunday for felony battery. She is being held in lieu of $5000 bond and is scheduled for a July 19 court appearance. Tech Support Pits From: Ann Re: Alternate Home Page Dear Webby on this google page I can get to my email which is Gmail, now does that change? how will I get to my email? Ann. Dear Ann If it isn't, enable your FireFox Navigation Bar. Go to https://mail.google.com/mail/ Drag the little icon from the left of the address bar onto your Navigation bar. That's all there is to it. I have all my most visited sites on that Navigation bar. You can shuffle them around to have the most important ones on the left, or on the right, or in the middle. Just drag them. If you have Gmail in one corner of your Navigation bar, just hit that whenever you want Gmail. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pickle Jar Incense Burner I was on the patio and I wanted to burn some incense. I found this pickle jar and put the incense stick upside down in the pickle jar and fastened the wood part with a clothepin. It made a lot of smoke and looked nice, in addition to keeping the bugs away from me. I thought that was interesting that incense would do that. I would never leave it unattended, although this is a more pet safe way to burn incense than some of my incense holders I have in the house. By Anna S. Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last! As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer, "I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!" "Don't worry," said the auctioneer, "He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An American traveling through Europe is riding a train in Germany. At one point, the ticket inspector comes into the compartment, punches the passengerís ticket, and then chats cordially in German for a bit, making gestures like a windmill. The man, who speaks no German, simply smiles and nods from time to time to show that he is interested. Finally, the ticket inspector bows and leaves the compartment. At that point, a woman sitting across from the man leans forward and says in English, "You don't speak any German, do you?" "No," the man says. "Then that explains why you didn't bat an eye when he told you that you were on the wrong train, going in the wrong direction and that the next stop is an hour from now."
» Pompous Toons

Today, July 6, in
1483 King Richard III of England was crowned.
1699 Captain William Kidd, the pirate, was captured in 
 Boston, MA, and deported back to England.
1777 British forces captured Fort Ticonderoga during 
 the American Revolution.
1858 Lyman Blake patented the shoe manufacturing machine.
1885 Louis Pasteur successfully tested his anti-rabies vaccine. 
 The child used in the test later became the director of 
 the Pasteur Institute.
1905 Fingerprints were exchanged for the first time between 
 officials in Europe and the U.S. The person in question 
 was John Walker.
1917 During World War I, Arab forces led by T.E. Lawrence 
 captured the port of Aqaba from the Turks.
1923 The Union of Soviet Socialist Republics was established.
1967 The Biafran War erupted. The war lasted two-and-a-half 
 years. About 600,000 people died.
1981 Former President of Argentina Isabel Peron was freed 
 after five years of house arrest by a federal court.
1981 The Dupont Company announced an agreement to purchase 
 Conoco, Inc. (Continental Oil Co.) for $7 billion.
1983 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that retirement plans 
 could not pay women smaller monthly payments solely 
 because of their gender.
1988 Several popular beaches were closed in 
 New York City due to medical waste and other debris 
 washing up on the seashores.
1997 The Mars Pathfinder released Sojourner, a robot 
 rover on the surface of Mars. The spacecraft landed on 
 the red planet on July 4th.
1998 Protestants rioted in many parts of Northern Ireland 
 after British authorities blocked an Orange Order march 
 in Portadown.
2000 A jury awarded former NHL player Tony Twist $24 million 
 for the unauthorized use of his name in the comic book 
 Spawn and the HBO cartoon series. Co-defendant HBO settled 
 with Twist out of court for an undisclosed amount. 
2013  smiled


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HTML from MS-WORD 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Friday, July 5.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!



Thank you Steve
Thank you Gloria!!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known. --- Thomas Pickering
There was a beer party out in the woods and, all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain and thunder. Two young men ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, and finally reached their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other. All of a sudden an old man's face appeared outside the passenger window, and he tapped lightly on the window! The man on the passenger side screamed out, "Ahhhhhhh! Look at my window!!! There's an old guy's face there!" The old man kept knocking, so the driver said, "Well, open the window a little and ask him what he wants!" So, the passenger rolled his window down part way and, scared out of his wits, said, "What do you want?" The old man softly replied, "Do you have any cigarettes?" The passenger, terrified, looked at the driver and said, "He wants a cigarette." "Well, give him a cigarette! HURRY!!" the driver replies. So he fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a cigarette and yells to the driver, "Step on it!!!", rolling up the window in terror. Now going about 80 miles an hour, they calm down, and they start laughing again, and the passenger says, "What do you think of that?" The driver replies, "I don't know. How could that be? I am going pretty fast." Then all of a sudden AGAIN there is a knock, and there is the old man again. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, there he is again!" the passenger yells. "Well, see what he wants now!" yells back the driver. He rolls down the window a little ways and shakily says, "Yes?" "Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asks. The driver throws a lighter out the window at him and rolls up the window and yells, "STEP ON IT!" They are now going about 100 miles an hour and still guzzling beer, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden again there is more knocking! "OH MY GOD! HE'S BACK!" The passenger rolls down the window and screams in stark fear, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" The old man replies, "You want some help getting out of the mud?"
14,000 Woodworking Plans With Step-by-step Instructions, Photos And Diagrams To Make Every Project Laughably Easy. Get WoodWorking 4 Home now!

We are now seeing a new, redesigned $20 bill. This is part of an anti-counterfeiting program to redesign all of our old currency, which has become too easy to duplicate with modern color photocopiers- a fact that was made all too clear when Xerox, in its 2012 annual report, reported profits of "$850 Billion, mostly in $20's".
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kimberly Kieman, 39, Springboro, Ohio Jailed After Throwing Beer Bash For 26 Teenagers, Locking 7-Year-Old Son In Bathroom Reported by the Weekly Vice Kimberly Kieman, a 39-year-old Florida mom, has been jailed after she allegedly hosted an alcohol fueled party for 26 teenagers while her 7-year-old son was locked in the bathroom. According to police, officers were dispatched to a Palm Beach Shores apartment complex Monday night after receiving a complaint about a large group of teenagers at the complex that appeared to be fighting. Neighbors also told police that Kieman had a young son and they were concerned about the boy's welfare. When officers arrived on the scene, the teens all ran inside an apartment where a party seemed to be in progress. When officers knocked on the door of the apartment, partygoers yelled back obscenities and told the officers to go away. About 20 minutes later, an intoxicated Kimberly Kieman opened the door. Investigators say Kieman was so intoxicated that she "couldn't stand without leaning against the door." Officers asked for permission to enter the apartment to check on the welfare of Kieman's son, however Kieman refused the request and hid behind partygoers, who slammed the door shut in the officers' faces. The teen partygoers then barricaded themselves against the door and stated that they intended to "stand their ground" against the entire police force if they tried to enter. The teens then slid a note under the door that contained "a written notice of demands," according to the arrest report. Police eventually broke down the door and arrested 26 teenagers who attended the party. Officers found Kieman's 7-year-old son locked in a bathroom at the residence, while Kieman was discovered hiding under a pile of dirty laundry. A 16-year-old girl was found in a hallway choking on her own vomit. She was taken to St. Mary's Medical Center for treatment. Two 55-gallon trash containers were found on the front porch filled with ice and various alcoholic beverages. Kieman was booked into jail and charged with child endangerment. -------------- With 27 people and that much alcohol, that bathroom must have been a very busy place! Tech Support Pits From: Maria Re: HTML from MS WORD Dear Webby I write my web pages by saving MS WORD docs as HTML. Usually that works OK. When it didn't, I asked my ISP to look at it and fix it. He got quite rude about it and was of no help. Can you fix it for me? Maria Dear Maria No, I won't, but I'll try not to get rude about it. The HTML produced by WORD does sorta work, but it is definitely not suitable for quick fixes or updating. The code looks awful and any fixes are very time consuming, especially when compared to clean HTML. Your best bet is to just write a new doc and convert that, or use a proper HTML editor to write your pages. I doubt that you will find any volunteer to fix that page for free, or even for pay. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Wet Wipes for a Cookout Cool Down At a cookout, picnic, or other hot weather gathering, toss a package of wet wipes in the cooler with the ice and drinks (I bought a plastic pop-up dispenser for a dollar). When the temps are in the 90's, it feels WONDERFUL to wipe your face, hands, and neck with a chilled cloth! By Becki from Logansport, IN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Several weeks after his birthday, I stopped by my sister's house and my 7 year old nephew greeted me with, "Thanks for the Sea Scout Signal Whistle you gave me for my birthday ! It's the best birthday present I ever got." "That's great, Did you learn how to pipe any signals on it ?" "Oh, I don't play with it," the little guy said. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to blow it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to blow it at night."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Anni got a part time job in a local restaurant to pick up a little money. She was concerned about being able to carry the heavy trays and serve from them but a co-worker explained that there were tray stands placed throughout the restaurant. A nervous Anni served all the lunches successfully last Saturday utilizing every stand she could find. Afterward Anni was concerned about an elderly couple that had finished some time ago and paid their check, but remained sitting at the table. When Anni asked if everything had been all right, the man said quietly, " Yes, It was fine, dear, but my wife and I would like to leave now and we were wondering if she could please have her walker back?"
» Relero's Sidewalk 3D Art:

Today, July 5, in
1806 A Spanish army repelled the British during their attempt 
 to retake Buenos Aires, Argentina.
1811 Venezuela became the first South American country to 
 declare independence from Spain.
1814 U.S. troops under Jacob Brown defeated a superior British 
 force at Chippewa, Canada.
1830 France occupied the North African city of Algiers.

1832 The German government began curtailing freedom of the 
 press after German Democrats advocate a revolt against 
 Austrian rule.
1839 British naval forces bombarded Dingai on Zhoushan Island 
 in China and then occupied it.
1863 U.S. Federal troops occupied Vicksburg, MS, and 
 distributed supplies to the citizens.
1892 Andrew Beard was issued a patent for the rotary engine.
1941 German troops reached the Dnieper River in the Soviet Union.
1943 The battle of Kursk began as German tanks attack the 
Soviet salient. It was the largest tank battle in history.
1946 The bikini bathing suit, created by Louis Reard, made 
 its debut during a fashion show at the Molitor Pool in 
 Paris. Micheline Bernardini wore the two-piece outfit.
1950 U.S. forces engaged the North Koreans for the first 
 time at Osan, South Korea.
1951 Dr. William Shockley announced that he had invented 
 the junction transistor.
1962 Algeria became independent after 132 years of French rule.
1989 Former U.S. National Security Council aide Oliver North 
 received a $150,000 fine and a suspended prison term for his 
 part in the Iran-Contra affair. The convictions were later 
 overturned.
1998 Japan joined U.S. and Russia in space exploration with 
 the launching of the Planet-B probe to Mars.
2000 Jordanian security agents shot and killed a Syrian 
 hijacker after he threw a grenade that exploded and wounded 
 15 passengers aboard a Royal Jordanian airliner.
2000 Euan Blair, the oldest son of British prime minister 
 Tony Blair, was arrested after police found him drunk and 
 lying on the ground in London's Leicester Square. 
2013  smiled


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FireFox 22 is a dud! 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Thursday, July 4.
Happy 4th of July!

Thank you Michael!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Your wheels: Thanks to Cookie for this picture: Hi Webby, Here's Ken's wheels, his "Black Beauty", a 2005 GMC SLT . He likes to make Fard & Doge owners jealous! LOL! TC, Betty
Send me pictures of YOUR wheels, or dream wheels! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. --- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
Late one night I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew was as black as asphalt and just about as thick. "How old is the coffee you have here?" I asked the woman who was standing behind the store counter. She shrugged. "I don't know. I've only been working here two weeks."
14,000 Woodworking Plans With Step-by-step Instructions, Photos And Diagrams To Make Every Project Laughably Easy. Get WoodWorking 4 Home now!

>From Nan While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store. On slow nights my co-worker Susan would often sing along with the radio while we did paperwork or restocked merchandise. One evening as the manager was leaving, I expressed my concern to him about our safety, being two women working alone at night. "Oh, you'll be fine," he said, waving of his hand. "If you see anybody who looks suspicious, just warn him that Susan knows karaoke."
Thanks to Dianne for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Bamboo Flute Blanchard, 18, Gainesville, Floriduh Jailed After Stabbing Father In Chest "Because He Wanted To Know What It Would Be Like To Kill Someone" Reported by the Weekly Vice Bamboo Flute Blanchard, an 18-year-old Florida man, has been jailed after he allegedly stabbed his father in the chest because he "wondered what it would be like to kill someone." According to the Alachua County Sheriff's Office, Bamboo Flute and his younger brother were at their residence Tuesday evening when Bamboo Flute picked up a knife and asked his little brother "I wonder what it would be like to kill someone?" Blanchard then walked into his father's bedroom with his younger brother trailing behind, spotted his sleeping father, and then stabbed him in the chest. Emergency responders called to the scene took the 54-year- old victim to a local hospital where he is now in stable condition. The victim refused to give investigators a statement about the stabbing. Bamboo Flute, who has 16 siblings, merely grunted when detectives attempted to question him. Bamboo Flute was booked into jail and charged with attempted premeditated first-degree murder. He will be playing flutes for a while! Tech Support Pits From: Dora Re: Firefox 22 is a dud! Dear Webby Firefox had been consistently good, so I didn't worry when I got the update notice for Firefox 22 today. Don't fall for it! Firefox 22 is a DUD. 1) RoboForm does not show in it. 2) The top mars steal even MORE space than previous versions, something that is simply NOT tolerable with wide monitors. the one you call "Sawed Off Runts". When working with spreadsheets,you need as much vertical space as possible! 3) Web pages look awful with Firefox 22 So, how do I get back to a properly working version of FireFox? Dora Dear Dora 1) Save all your open tabs in an email or a word processor, where they are clickable. Backgrading wipes out all your tabs. 2) Download Firefox 21 3) Close Firefox 4) Use the download to install FireFox 5) Save all open files and reboot the computer Keep in mind that backgrading destroys the list of open tabs. It does not keep them in restorable form like with a crash. That is why you have to save them in an email or doc. However, in Version 21 everything works, and the top is much more compact. I have no idea why they made a bloated Kindergarten Version top, and backgraded my own browser back to #21 too. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Buy Fireworks After the Holiday Last year I went after the 4th when they were having the buy 1 get 2 free sales (yep I typed that right) and stocked up for this year. We already have a bag full of fireworks waiting for us to light up this year! Of course you need to store them in a safe, fireproof place. By Kathy Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Three small boys were bragging about their fathers. The first boasted that his dad owned a farm. The second said his dad owned a factory. The third boy, a pastor's son, replied, "That's nothin'. My dad owns hell." "No way," another boy scoffed. "How can a man own hell?" "Sure he can," the preacher's son said. "My mom told my grandma that them elders of our church gave it to him last night."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Bill for this story: Each Friday night I drove my wife to the train station so she could go visit her sister who was ill. Ten minutes later, my sister arrived by train so that she could manage our household over the weekend while my wife was gone. On Sundays this procedure worked in reverse with my sister departing by train ten minutes before my wife arrived. One evening after my sister left and while I awaited my wife's arrival, a porter sauntered over. "Mister," he said, "you are sure some man! But one of these days you are goin' to get caught!"
» Lego Creations

Today, July 4, in
1776 The amended Declaration of Independence, prepared by 
 Thomas Jefferson, was approved and signed by John Hancock, 
 the President of the Continental Congress in America.
1803 The Louisiana Purchase was announced in newspapers. The 
 property was purchased, by the U.S. from France, was for 
 $15 million (or 3 cents an acre). The "Corps of Discovery," 
 led by Meriwether Lewis and William Clark, began the 
 exploration of the territory on May 14, 1804.
1817 Construction began on the Erie Canal, to connect Lake Erie 
 and the Hudson River.
1845 American writer Henry David Thoreau began his two-year 
 experiment in simple living at Walden Pond, near Concord, MA.
1884 Bullfighting was introduced in the U.S. in Dodge City, KS.
1886 The first rodeo in America was held at Prescott, AZ.
1894 After seizing power, Judge Stanford B. Dole declared 
 Hawaii a republic.
1901 William H. Taft became the American governor of the 
 Philippines.
1910 Race riots broke out all over the United States after 
 African-American Jack Johnson knocked out Jim Jeffries in a 
 heavyweight boxing match.
1934 Boxer Joe Louis won his first professional fight.
1934 At Mount Rushmore, George Washington's face was dedicated.
1946 The Philippines achieved full independence for the first time 
 in over four hundred years.
1960 The 50-star U.S. flag made its debut in Philadelphia, PA.
1966 U.S. President Johnson signed the Freedom of Information Act, 
 which went into effect the following year.
1987 Klaus Barbie, the former Gestapo chief known as the 
 "Butcher of Lyon," was convicted by a French court of crimes 
 against humanity and sentenced to life in prison.
1997 The Mars Pathfinder, an unmanned spacecraft, landed on Mars. 
 A rover named Sojourner was deployed to gather data about 
 the surface of the planet.
1997 Ferry service between Manhattan and Staten Island was 
 made free of charge.
2009 North Korea launched seven ballistic missiles into waters 
 off its east coast that defied U.N. resolutions.
2009 The Statue of Liberty's crown reopened to visitors. 
 It had been closed to the public since 2001.
2013  smiled


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How to safe bookmarks in IE 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Wednesday, July 3.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Your wheels: Thanks to Cookie for this picture: Read the side it is a hoot!! Cookie
Send me pictures of YOUR wheels, or dream wheels! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think. --- Horace Walpole (1717 - 1797)
I spent 20 minutes explaining life insurance options to one of our employees. After reviewing the different plans and monthly deductions, he decided to max out, choosing $100,000 worth of life insurance. But he had one last question. "Now," he said, "what do I have to do to collect the money?"
14,000 Woodworking Plans With Step-by-step Instructions, Photos And Diagrams To Make Every Project Laughably Easy. Get WoodWorking 4 Home now!

One of our patients wasn't taking any chances. Prior to her operation, she taped notes to her body for the surgeon... "Take your time," "Don't cut yourself," "No need to rush," "Wash your hands..." After surgery, as I helped the patient back into her bed, we discovered a new note taped to her, this one from the doctor, "Has anyone seen my wristwatch?"
Thanks to Moe for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Cascade on purpose
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Laura Whitehurst, 28, Redlands, California Jailed After Having Sex With Student, Delivering His Baby Reported by the Weekly Vice Laura Whitehurst, a 28-year-old English teacher at Citrus Valley High School, was jailed Monday after she allegedly had sex with a 16-year-old student, became pregnant by him and delivered his child. According to police, an investigation was launched Monday after the victim's mother contacted school administrators and told them that her son was the father of Whitehursts' newborn child. Whitehurst gave birth to the child on June 18. Investigators say Whitehurst and the student began a year-long sexual relationship last summer when the student was 16. "One thing led to another, and he ended up living at Whitehurst's residence, and it's been going on, going for approximately one year now," said Redlands Police spokesman Shawn Ryan. Whitehurst was booked into jail and charged with suspicion of having unlawful intercourse with an underage student. Is "Bonehead" a strong enough term for a ......? Tech Support Pits From: Allan Re: How to save bookmarks in IE Dear Webby You wrote about it before, but I did not save that tip. How do you save the bookmarks in IE ? Thanks Allan Dear Allan Just remember ALT FINE Hold down the ALT key, hit F I N E and hit Enter a bunch of times. You can even specify the file name that will have the bookmarks in it, for example C:\bookmarks130703.html Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Use Magnet to Hold Brush to Paint Can When you're painting and you need to put your brush down it can be messy, not to mention losing it. Just use a hot glue gun and attach a magnet on to your brush handle. Then when you need to set down your brush it will stay right on your paint can. By coville123 Most paint cans have a groove designed to trap paint and splatter it all over, when you tap the lid in place. Pros take two two inch spiral nails, and hammer two holes each on opposite sides, and leave the nails in one hole each per side. Then we run a rubber band across the paint can berween opposite nails. Now you can lean the brush with the handle on a clean rim and the bristles on the rubber band, dripping into the can. Any paint, that gets onto the rim, drips down through the unoccupied holes, and there won't be any splattering, when you remove the nails and slam the lid. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thanks to Sandie for this story: Ever mindful of the congregation, the Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog, and knew that the dog also had to be a Baptist. They visited kennel after kennel and explained their needs. Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he had just the dog they wanted. The owner brought the dog to meet the pastor and his wife. "Fetch the Bible,"he commanded. The dog bounded to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought it to the owner. "Now find Psalm 23," he commanded. The dog dropped the Bible to the floor, and showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed through and finding the correct passage, pointed to it with his paw. The pastor and his wife were very impressed and purchased the dog. That evening, a group of church members came to visit. The pastor and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate several Bible verses. The visitors were very impressed. One man asked, "Can he do regular dog tricks, too?" "I haven't tried yet" the pastor replied. He pointed his finger at the dog."HEEL!" the pastor commanded. The dog immediately jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's forehead and began to howl. The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said, "Oh!! NO!! He's Pentecostal!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Little Mary was attending a wedding for the first time. As she sat in the church, she watched the bride slowly approach the altar. Mary whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. The child thought about this for a moment, then said... "So why is the groom wearing black?"
» Danxia

Today, July 3, in
1608 The city of Quebec was founded by Samuel de Champlain.
1775 U.S. Gen. George Washington took command of the 
 Continental Army at Cambridge, MA.
1878 John Wise flew the first US dirigible in Lancaster, PA.
1898 During the Spanish American War, a fleet of Spanish 
 ships in Cuba's Santiago Harbor attempted to run a blockade 
 of U.S. naval forces. Nearly all of the Spanish ships were 
 destroyed in the battle that followed.
1903 The first cable across the Pacific Ocean was spliced 
 between Honolulu, Midway, Guam and Manila.
1944 The U.S. First Army opened a general offensive to break 
 out of the hedgerow area of Normandy, France.
1944 During World War II, Soviet forces recaptured Minsk.
1950 U.S. carrier-based planes attacked airfields in the 
 Pyongyang-Chinnampo area of North Korea in the first 
 air-strike of the Korean War.
1954 Food rationing ended in Great Britain almost nine years 
after the end of World War II.
1991 U.S. President George H.W. Bush formally inaugurated the 
 Mount Rushmore National Memorial in South Dakota. 
2013  smiled


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Slow virus scanning 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Tuesday, July 2.


Have FUN!
DearWebby


Your wheels: Thanks to Larry for this picture: Been dreaming about one for two years. Finally got one! A 2000 Corvette with Head Up display (Speedo readout on inside of windshield). I really enjoy it when the weather cooperates. Larry
Send me pictures of YOUR wheels, or dream wheels! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away. --- Thomas Fuller (1608 - 1661) Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. --- Martin Luther King Jr.
A reporter from New York was visiting an old colleague who now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town. "I don't see how you do it," the NY reporter said. "How can you drum up interest in the news when everybody in town knows what everybody else is doing and with whom?" "Sure they know," the editor said, "but they read the paper to see who got caught at it."
14,000 Woodworking Plans With Step-by-step Instructions, Photos And Diagrams To Make Every Project Laughably Easy. Get WoodWorking 4 Home now!

Ted Nugent on Deer Hunting While on a European tour, Ted was being interviewed by a French journalist. The journalist asked, "What do you think the last thought is in the head of a deer before you shoot it? Is it, `Are you my friend?`or is it `Are you the one who killed my brother?'" Nugent replied, "They aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, 'What am I going to eat next, who am I going to screw next, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the French."
Thanks to Moe for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version A cool ride on the windy side
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Summer Michelle Hansen, Special education teacher has been jailed for having sex with 'multiple teenage' students who stayed on after class A special education teacher has been accused of having sex with several of her students who stayed behind after classes. Summer Michelle Hansen has been placed on administrative while officials try to determine how many of her students she had sex with. Parents have been told to talk to their children to see if they had any unwarranted contact with the married 31 year old at Centennial High School in Corona, California. Hansen has been charged with multiple counts of engaging in unlawful sex and oral copulation of a minor. The exact number of students she had sex with has is not known but police believe there are multiple people she had illegal sexual relations with. The mother of three came under investigation after a former student at the school came forward to say he had sex with Hansen. The Corona Norco Unified School District has placed Hansen on leave, according to Superintendent Tom Pike. Prior to her arrest, with some make-up and push-up, she looked more cheerful, and one can understand why students fell for her charms. Tech Support Pits From: Sunny Re: Slow virus scanning Dear Webby, When I do a virus scan and it gets to big zip files, everything slows down and it takes a long time to get past those zip files. Is there a way to speed that up? Thanks Sunny Dear Sunny Burn those zip files onto CDs or DVDs, and delete them off your computer. You are obviously not actively using them, just storing them, so you might as well store them elsewhere, like out in the garage. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Buy Marked Down Pastries And Freeze Them Tired of buying those expensive snacks for school? I try to do my shopping early in the morning because our local store has a display of doughnuts, muffins, etc., marked down. I buy these marked down items and place them in our freezer. Once they are really frozen I put the items in a gallon size freezer bag and place them back in the freezer. On school mornings I pull the "snack" out, place it in a sandwich bag, and pack it for their snack time. By the time my children eat their snack, it is defrosted and yummy! By Tanya from Winchester, TN Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Johnny for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Johnny answered, "A lawyer!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
When Jill decided to improve her computer skills, she threw herself into it with enthusiasm. Every week she'd check out two or three instructional books from the library. After about a month the librarian commented, "Wow! You must really be getting knowledgeable at this stuff." "Thanks," Jill said. "What makes you say that?" The librarian answered, "Only one of the books you're checking out this week has 'For Dummies' in the title."
» The Canadian Myth

Today, July 2, in
1298 An army under Albert of Austria defeated and killed 
 Adolf of Nassua near Worms, Germany.
1625 The Spanish army took Breda, Spain, after nearly a 
 year of siege.
1644 Lord Cromwell crushed the Royalists at the Battle of 
 Marston Moor near York, England.
1776 Richard Henry Lee’s resolution that the American colonies 
 "are, and of right ought to be, free and independent States" 
 was adopted by the Continental Congress.
1850 B.J. Lane patented the gas mask.
1857 New York City’s first elevated railroad officially opened 
 for business.
1858 Czar Alexander II freed the serfs working on 
 imperial lands.
1937 American aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart disappeared in 
 the Central Pacific during an attempt to fly around the 
world at the equator.
1944 American bombers, as part of Operation Gardening, dropped 
 land mines, leaflets and bombs on German-occupied Budapest.
1947 An object crashed near Roswell, NM. The U.S. Army Air Force 
 insisted it was a weather balloon, but eyewitness accounts 
 led to speculation that it might have been an alien 
 spacecraft.
1967 The U.S. Marine Corps launched Operation Buffalo in 
 response to the North Vietnamese Army's efforts to seize 
 the Marine base at Con Thien.
1976 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled the death penalty was not 
 inherently cruel or unusual.
1976 North Vietnam and South Vietnam were reunited.
1980 U.S. President Jimmy Carter reinstated draft registration 
 for males 18 years of age.
1981 Soyuz T-6 returned to Earth.
1985 General Motors announced that it was installing electronic 
 road maps as an option in some of its higher-priced cars.
1995 "Forbes" magazine reported that Microsoft's chairman, 
 Bill Gates, was worth $12.9 billion, making him the world's 
 richest man. In 1999, he was worth about $77 billion.
1998 Cable News Network (CNN) retracted a story that alleged 
 that U.S. commandos had used nerve gas to kill American 
 defectors during the Vietnam War.
2013  smiled


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A better Home Page 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Monday, July 1.
Happy Canada Day!

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Your wheels: Thanks to Tess for this picture: Oh, I loved this car. Wish I hadn't sold it, but I got a call the other day from the 4th owner, who says it is still wonderful and filled me in on some of the work he's doing on it. It was bought in Texas, lived in Virginia and (I think) Ohio, and is now in the Colorado Rockies. Tess
Send me pictures of YOUR wheels, or dream wheels! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say that it makes him more pleasing to others. ---Samuel Johnson (1709 - 1784) Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair. --- George Burns
Tracy goes to get her haircut. The stylist cuts for about 30 minutes, then hands the girl a mirror and asks, "How do you like it?" Tracy looks at the cut carefully, evaluating it from every angle. Finally, she says, "It's okay, but could you make it just a little longer in the back?"
14,000 Woodworking Plans With Step-by-step Instructions, Photos And Diagrams To Make Every Project Laughably Easy. Get WoodWorking 4 Home now!

A married couple, trying to live up to a snobbish life-style went to a party. The conversation turned to Mozart. "Absolutely brilliant, magnificent, a genius!" The woman, wanting to join in the conversation, remarked casually, "Ah, Mozart. You're so right. I love him. Only this morning I saw him getting on the number five bus going to Coney Island." There was a sudden hush, and everyone looked at her. Her husband was mortified. He pulled her away and whispered, "We're leaving right now. Get your coat and let's get our of here." As they drove home, he kept muttering to himself. Finally, his wife turned to him and said, "You're angry about something." "Oh really? You noticed?" he sneered. "I've never been so embarrassed in my life! You saw Mozart take the number five bus to Coney Island? How could you say that? Everyone knows the number five bus doesn't go to Coney Island !"
Thanks to Moe for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Going to Church
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Karen Vaughan, Cook County,Illinois Claiming that Pensioners picking dandylions are commiting a CRIME Reported by Walter, the StoneCarver Karen Vaughan, spokeswoman for the Cook County Forest Preserve District, said foraging is prohibited. About a pensioner picking a shopping bag full of dandylion leaves from amongst the weeds in an unmowed triangle behind a fence: "It's unsustainable," she said. "Quite simply, we could see some of these plants disappear over time. It can also have negative impacts on the natural plant and animal communities we're trying to preserve for the public." You'd think the district's yearly budget of almost $200 million would be better spent on catching the body dumpers and the weirdos rather than harassing a few old people holding fast to old ways. Europeans, esppecially Greeks, Italians and Spaniards, have always used dadndylion leaves for food, and rarely bought them in the store. They usually send the kids to the nearest lawn and delight the owner of that lawn by picking what he considers a nuisance weed. With so much crime in the Chicago area, from murderous gangbangers to those thug mobs and everything in between, the Cook County Gestapo is now focusing on easier targets: Senior Citizen Dandylion Pickers. One example is John Taris, 75, retired tailor and notoriosus dandylion picker. He was find $75 and now has a criminal record. And Karen Vaughan claims publicly, that "foraging" is a serious crime and has to be eradicated. Amazing, that is what your taxes pay for! I got dandylions in my lawn. If anybody wants them, pick them! I have rhubarb too. It is delicious with a bit of honey. Go ahead and pick some! Tech Support Pits From: Bill Re: Alternative to the obnoxious Yahoo Home Page Dear Webby, I have been using yahoo for years for a home page, but I am really getting sick of their editorial policy - is there someplace else that I could use that's not as obnoxious? - but is also easy to use - Bill Dear Bill My home page started out as an alternative to home pages like that. That was in the early 90's. Just go to http://webby.com/humor and make that your default home page. On the riht side, a the top of the side menu, is a Google search field. It will not secretly change to some other search engine. Below that are handy links. If there are any sites, that you often go to, that should be listed on the side menu, just tell me. It works just fine as a home page, especially when you want to back out of something nasty. Just hit HOME, and you are back on the familiar Humor letter. And unlike the socialist yahoos at Yahoo, I listen to people, and if you suggest a link, I will add it. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Antacids For Muscle Cramps This tip was given to me by my daughter and has worked very well for me as I had been getting a great deal of cramps in my hands. It is very simple, chew 2 Tums, or any antacid that is taken for an acid reflux or upset tum ;) By lesley Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
During a jury selection process, the first lawyer began his questioning as an intimidating showman. He looked over the prospective jurors and asked, "Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?" Before the pause became too long, the judge said, "I do."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A butcher, who had had a particularly good day, proudly flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it. "That will be $6.35," he told the customer. "That's a good price, but it really is a little too small," said the woman. "Don't you have anything larger?" Hesitating, but thinking fast, the clerk returned the chicken to the refrigerator, paused a moment, then took it out again. "This one," he said faintly, " will be $6.65." The woman paused for a moment, then made her decision... "You know what," she said, "I'll take both of them!"
» The Canadian Myth

Today, July 1, in

0096 Vespasian, a Roman Army leader, was hailed as a 
 Roman Emperor by the Egyptian legions.
1543 England and Scotland signed the peace of Greenwich.
1596 An English fleet under the Earl of Essex, Lord Howard 
 of Effingham and Francis Vere captured and sacked 
 Cadiz, Spain.
1798 Napoleon Bonaparte took Alexandria, Egypt.
1847 The U.S. Post Office issued its first adhesive stamps.
1867 Canada became an independent dominion.
1876 Montenegro declared war on the Turks.
1893 The first bicycle race track in America to be made 
 out of wood was opened in San Francisco, CA.
1898 During the Spanish-American War, Theodore Roosevelt 
 and his "Rough Riders" waged a victorious assault on 
 San Juan Hill in Cuba.
1909 Thomas Edison began commercially manufacturing his 
 new "A" type alkaline storage batteries.
1916 The massive Allied offensive known as the Battle of the 
 Somme began in France. The battle was the first to use tanks.
1940 In Washington, the Tacoma Narrows Bridge was opened 
 to traffic. The bridge collapsed during a wind storm on 
 November 7, 1940.
1942 German troops captured Sevestpol, Crimea, in the 
 Soviet Union.
1943 The U.S. Government began automatically withholding 
 federal income tax from paychecks.
1946 The U.S. exploded a 20-kiloton atomic bomb near 
 Bikini Atoll in the Pacific Ocean.
1950 American ground troops arrived in South Korea to stem 
 the tide of the advancing North Korean army.
1961 British troops landed in Kuwait to aid against Iraqi threats.
1968 The Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty was signed by 60 countries. 
1969 Britain's Prince Charles was invested as the Prince of Wales.
1974 Isavel Peron became the president of Argentina upon the death 
 of her husband, Juan.
1979 Sony introduced the Walkman.
1980 "O Canada" was proclaimed the national anthem of Canada.
1991 The Warsaw Pact dissolved.
1994 Yasser Arafat of the Palestinian Liberation Organization 
 visited the Gaza Strip.
1997 The sovereignty over Hong Kong was transferred from 
 Great Britain to China. Britain had controlled Hong Kong 
 as a colony for 156 years.
2003 In Hong Kong, thousands of protesters marched to show 
 their opposition to anti-subversion legislation.
2013  smiled


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ThriftyFun Difficult to print 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Sunday, June 30.

Now that most of the snow, that had remained on the mountains
a lot longer than during the years of the Warming Ripple, has
been melted by a warm summer rain, and has torn off the 
vegetation and trees and shrubs and 30 years of accumulated 
mud from the sides of the river, the Sheep River here has 
settled down to a cute little brook. 

On tonight's walk I hiked where there was a torrent of mud 
and uprooted young forest roiling and boiling last week. 
The river pretty well tore it's banks back to where they 
were during the previous Cool Ripple. 
Remember Carl Sagan and his 
'Ice Age Is Coming because of your gas guzzling muscle cars!'?
He spouted that nonsense at the end of the last cool ripple,
just like Al Gore blathered to the sheeple about Gullible
Warming at the end of the warm ripple. 

The #7 highway bridge is getting to be quite old, and when
a log jam of trees and bushes plugged it up, it got jostled 
and moved a bit. To open the #7 and buy time for the Dept of
Highways to allocate funds for a new bridge, they are now
putting three culverts in and covering them with dirt for a
temporary road.

That seems scary when considering the late snow-melt flood,
but is actually quite generous considering the small amount
of water, that is now actually flowing. I spotted various
places along the river, where I could cross it without 
getting my shins wet. They will fix or replace the bridge
long before they have to tear those culverts and dirt
out to make room for the next snow melt.

Yes, snow melt is going to be late for the next 30 years 
or so, but now that the river beds have been cleaned and
widened, there won't be mud and forests coming down.

Well, Carl Sagan did not influence my choice of cars,
and neither did Al Gore.

Have FUN!
DearWebby


Your wheels: Thanks to Donnie for these pictures: I got these photos last week. I would love to have one! Donnie A 1957,1958 and 1959 Chevy all rolled into one! This car was built by N2A motors (No 2 Alike). The company is planning a production run of about 100 vehicles. It sits on a Corvette C6 chassis, front styled like a 57 Chevy, Side like a 58, rear like a 59. Hence the designation "789."
Send me pictures of YOUR wheels, or dream wheels! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy. --- Woody Allen Was he talking about Al Gore, or WhatsHisName? It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong. --- Voltaire (1694 - 1778)
Barbie, a waitress, decided to put her matchmaking skills to the test with our mutual friend Mike. She figured that Sandy, another friend who seemed to have much in common with Mike, would be an ideal date. One day Mike came into the restaurant when Sandy was also there. Barbie dragged Mike over to Sandy's table and introduced the two. Then she watched as Mike put his arm around the young woman and said in his best mock-seductive voice, "Helloooou, Sandy," whereupon Sandy broke up in roaring laughter. "You guys know each other?" Barbie asked. "We sure do," said Mike. "She's my sister."
14,000 Woodworking Plans With Step-by-step Instructions, Photos And Diagrams To Make Every Project Laughably Easy. Get WoodWorking 4 Home now!

>From Hillary I have CDO. It's like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, only in alphabetical order, like it should be.
Thanks to SexySassySatin for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Michael Barwick, 53, Sarasota, Floriduh Jailed After Stealing Lawnmower With Bicycle Getaway Vehicle Reported by The Weekly Vice Michael Barwick, a 53-year-old Florida bonehead, was jailed after he allegedly tried to steal a lawnmower - towing it away with a bicycle. According to Sarasota Police, Barwick was seen by a resident as he walked into a resident's carport and then pushed out his lawnmower. Barwick was then seen attaching the lawnmower to his bicycle with string before peddling away with the loot. Officers located Barwick, and returned the resident's lawmower. Barwick was booked into jail and charged with felony burglary. Tech Support Pits From: George Re: Thrifty Fun difficult to print Dear Webby, Some of the information that comes up in Thrifty Fun is so wonderful for me that I need to copy it for my information binder. However, I highlight it and put it to print, but find that many of the words in the right margin come out missing, or I only get part words. Can I do anything that will prevent this from occurring? George Dear George That is a HoeMail "feature". You can try shrinking the page by holding down the CTRL key and rolling the scroll wheel on the mouse. It might help. I word-wrap the parts, that I feature, at 60 characters max, to avoid that well known HoeMail problem, but there is nothing I can do about the rest of the ThriftyFun site. You can highlight, what you want to print, hit CTRL C to copy it, jump to a word processor or text editor, hit CTRL V to paste it. Then you have full control over sizes and fonts, and can print it the way you want it. You can also save it as a file. That saves paper and ink, and you can search for it. Simply save it with a descriptive name, and put all those Thrifty Tips into a folder, that you make for them. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Antacids For Muscle Cramps This tip was given to me by my daughter and has worked very well for me as I had been getting a great deal of cramps in my hands. It is very simple, chew 2 Tums, or any antacid that is taken for an acid reflux or upset tum ;) By lesley Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Harry was describing a 30 pound bass he'd caught recently after fighting it for three hours. Bill interrupted the story saying, "I saw the picture you took of that fish. You're lucky if it even weighed 10 pounds." Harry replied, "Well . . . a fish can lose an awful lot of weight during three hours of fighting." ----------------- This one didn't. Moe is not saying where he caught it.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
> From Ed An effusive client brought a litter of golden-retriever puppies to my veterinary clinic for inoculations and worming. She loved them so much, she couldn't keep from remarking about their cute habits. As the look-alike pups squirmed over and under one another in their box, I realized it would be difficult to tell the treated ones from the rest. I turned on the water faucet, wet my fingers, and moistened each dog's head when I had finished. After the fourth puppy, I noticed my hitherto talkative client had grown silent. As I sprinkled the last pup's head, the woman leaned forward and whispered, "I never realized they had to be baptized."
» Mantis Shrimp (coarse language)

Today, June 30, in
1097 The Crusaders defeated the Turks at Dorylaeum.
1841 The Erie Railroad rolled out its first passenger train.
1859 Charles Blondin became the first person to cross 
 Niagara Falls on a tightrope.
1894 Korea declared independence from China and asked for 
 Japanese aid.
1908 An explosion in Siberia, which knocked down trees in a 
 40-mile radius and struck people unconscious some 40 miles 
 away. It was believed by some scientists to be caused by 
 a fragment from a meteorite, which has since been found.
1913 Fighting broke out between Bulgaria and Greece and 
 Spain. It was the beginning of the Second Balkan War.
1915 During World War I, the Second Battle Artois ended when 
 the French failed to take Vimy Ridge.
1922 Irish rebels in London assassinate Sir Henry Wilson, 
 the British deputy for Northern Ireland.
1930 France pulled its troops out of Germany’s Rhineland.
1934 Adolf Hitler purged the Nazi Party by destroying the SA 
 and bringing to power the SS in the 
 "Night of the Long Knives."
1936 Margaret Mitchell’s book, "Gone with the Wind," was 
 published in New York City.
1950 U.S. President Harry Truman ordered U.S. troops into 
 Korea and authorizes the draft.
1953 The first Corvette rolled off the Chevrolet assembly 
 line in Flint, MI. It sold for $3,250.
1955 The U.S. began funding West Germany’s rearmament with 
 US made weaponry.
1958 The U.S. Congress passed a law authorizing the admission 
 of Alaska as the 49th state in the Union.
1971 The Soviet spacecraft Soyuz 11 returned to Earth. The 
 three cosmonauts were found dead inside.
1977 U.S. President Jimmy Carter announced his opposition 
 to the B-1 bomber.
1986 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled 5-4 that states could outlaw 
 homosexual acts between consenting adults.
2000 U.S. President Clinton signed the E-Signature bill to 
 give the same legal validity to an electronic signature as 
 a signature in pen and ink. 
2013  smiled


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Weeding out the fonts 



Good Morning,  !
Today is Saturday, June 29.

Each success only buys an admission ticket 
to a more difficult problem.
--- Henry Kissinger

Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
--- Walter Lippmann

Your wheels: Thanks to Trish for this picture: We have a lot of 'Jeep' ads here in Australia at the moment, all saying. . . I bought a Jeep! Yes I bought a Jeep So I got a Jeep from those guys. Trish
Send me pictures of YOUR wheels, or dream wheels! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The full moon a few days ago reminded me of this story: I gaze at the brilliant moon. The same one, I think to myself, at which Socrates, Aristotle, and Plato gazed. Suddenly, I imagine they appear beside me. I tell Socrates about the national debate over one's right to die and wonder at the constancy of the human condition. I tell Plato that I live in the country that has come closest to Utopia, and backed away from it, and I show him a copy of the Constitution and the way the courts and the politicians hacked it to pieces. I tell Aristotle that we have found many more than four basic elements and I show him a periodic table. Then I get a box of kitchen matches and strike one. They gasp with wonder. We spend the rest of the night lighting farts.
On the border of Kentucky and Tennessee there's a small forest. Half of the forest belongs to a Kentucky farmer, while the other half belongs to a Tennessee man. One day, while out for a walk in the woods, the Tennessee man comes across a wolf caught in a trap. He rushes back to his house and calls his Kentucky neighbor. "There's one of your wolves caught in a trap on my side of the forest." "How do you know it's one of *our* wolves?" the Kentucky farmer asked. "Well," the Tennessee man replied, "he's already chewed off three of his legs and he's still trapped." ----------- Feel free to substitute your favorite states/provinces.
14,000 Woodworking Plans With Step-by-step Instructions, Photos And Diagrams To Make Every Project Laughably Easy. Get WoodWorking 4 Home now!

Anyone who's ever ridden in a cab in Washington DC knows they're some of the world's most brazen drivers. Oddly enough though, their current accident rate isn't all that bad. I asked one of the drivers one day the reason for that. "Easy," he said. "all the really bad drivers are dead now."
Thanks to Moe for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Christopher Haro, 41, Roseburg, Oregon Oregon Man Wearing "Got Beer?" T-Shirt Is Arrested For Drunk Driving Reported by The Smoking Gun An Oregon man wearing a “Got Beer?” t-shirt was arrested for drunk driving, police report. Christopher Haro, 41, was driving a Ford pickup truck Wednesday evening when a Roseburg Police Department officer pulled the vehicle over for a traffic violation. During subsequent questioning, the cop concluded that Haro was intoxicated. Haro was busted for DUI and booked into the Douglas County lockup, where he posed in his message t-shirt for the above mug shot. He was freed from custody Thursday after posting bond on the misdemeanor count. Tech Support Pits From: Beverly Re: Weeding out the fonts Dear Webby, If anyone would know the answer to this, it will be you. I use Windows XP and was just wondering. . . . . . . . Is there anyway to move unused fonts to another folder to get them out of the way? I have tried to drag and drop them and copy/cut and paste them, but nothing works. The drop down menu says I can delete them, but I really don't want to do that because I might use them someday. But right now, I seem to have so many that I don't use on a regular basis that I see no need for them to be in the drop down menu. Thanks for the great Humor Letter and many tips! Beverly Dear Beverly Go into Control Panel Fonts and SHIFT-DRAG the fonts, that you don't want any more, into some other folder. It helps if you make a new folder beforehand and name it SpareFonts. Moving those spare fonts in there normally takes them out of the font list. You may have to restart the application that uses the fonts to clear it's cached font list. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Ant killer: Save your orange peels! Mix up equal parts of peels and water in a blender, pour over the ants nest or transfer to a pump-spray bottle to mark a line around your property. A natural solution with no nasty insecticides. Source: An online site on how to rid garden pests. By Monique Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaking little voice: "The big sissy."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Andy wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector puts this question to him: "What would you do if you realised that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?" Andy says, "I would switch the points for one of the trains." "What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector. "Then I'd dash down out of the signal box," said Andy, "and I'd use the manual lever over there." "What if that had been struck by lightning?" "Then," Andy continues, "I'd run back into the signal box and phone the next signal box." "What if the phone was engaged?" "Well in that case," persevered Andy, "I'd rush down out of the box and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there." "What if that was vandalised?" "Oh well then I'd run into the village and get my uncle Tony." This puzzles the inspector, so he asks, "Why would you do that?" Came the answer, "Because his wife, my sister, keeps saying his feet smell so bad, the stench could stop a train!"
» Mantis Shrimp (coarse language)

Today, June 29, in
1236 Ferdinand III of Castile and Leon took Cordoba in Spain.
1652 Massachusetts declared itself independent commonwealth.
1767 The British Parliament approved the Townshend Revenue Acts. 
 The acts imposed import duties on glass, lead, paint, paper 
 and tea shipped to America.
1860 The first iron-pile lighthouse was completed at Minot’s 
 Ledge, MA.
1880 France annexed Tahiti.
1888 Professor Frederick Treves performed the first 
 appendectomy in England.
1903 The British government officially protested Belgian 
 atrocities in the Congo.
1905 Russian troops intervened as riots erupted in ports 
 all over the country. Many ships were looted.
1917 The Ukraine proclaimed independence from Russia.
1925 Marvin Pipkin filed for a patent for the frosted 
 electric light bulb.
1926 Fascists in Rome added an hour to the work day in 
 an economic efficiency measure.
1946 British authorities arrested more than 2,700 Jews 
 in Palestine in an attempt to end terrorism.
1950 U.S. President Harry S. Truman authorized a sea blockade 
 of Korea.
1951 The United States invited the Soviet Union to the Korean 
 peace talks on a ship in Wonson Harbor.
1955 The Soviet Union sent tanks to Poznan, Poland, to put 
 down anti-Communist demonstrations.
1966 The U.S. bombed fuel storage facilities near the 
 North Vietnamese cities of Hanoi and Haiphong.
1967 Israel removed barricades, re-unifying Jerusalem.
1982 Israel invaded Lebanon.
2007 The Apple iPhone went on sale.
2013  smiled


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Mystery Voice Ads 



Good Morning,  !

Here, in blue, is what I had written for Saturday, June 22.
I got as far as telling Natalie on Skype, that I had my and
Ophelia's newsletters ready to sent to her via Skype.
That was around 4 am. Then they turned off dial-up.
@#$%^&*@#$%!!!! So, here is what I had written in the preface:
===================
Today is Saturday, June 22.

DSL is still down, dial-up is almost down.
Not impressed!

And now the power is down.
Typo-ing by flashlight now, but not for long.
Power failures seem to be an invitation to catch up
on sleep.

I turned the big light on in the bedroom and the radio 
on full volume, and as soon as I was horizontal, I was of
course sound asleep. Woke up about 4 hours later to bright
light and noise and the blanket partially pulled over my
shoulder. 

OK, back to work.
DSL Internet is STILL down! And from what I hear from friends
who can afford a Smartphone, the net is not accessible for 
them either. No point going into debt for one of those, if
they don't work.

To get yesterday's newsltters out, I had to send the text
and pictures via Skype to Natalie, my server tech director 
in Kharkiv, Ukraine, along with instructions on how to
send the newsletters. She uploaded them and sent them out.
It looks like I will have to do it that way again!

I hope you have a LOT MORE fun than I am having!
DearWebby


Dial-up is still turned off.
I can understand DSL being down, because they strung the
fiber-optic cable under the bridge. DUH! 
Yes, under the bridge, where it gets hit every year by stumps 
and logs and pieces of other bridges. They were not smart 
enough to hang it off the TV cable, that is strung up high
enough, that a sailboat could pass under it, not just the
skinnier inner-tubers. 
I have no idea why it takes them so long to patch in some 
new fiber-optic cable. Maybe the guy with the crimpers 
is on vacation? They still don't allow anybody near the 
river.

I also have no idea, why they deliberately turned off dial-up.
Dial-up was still working via the old route, not across the
river, and the damage to THIS bridge is not related to it.
Without the net, we get no news, of course, and on TV they
apparently just have vague and general excuses.

People with smart-phones from other companies get occasional
service now and then. I guess they are handicapped by the
problems at Telus too. I asked Barb to try to send an email
to my dad and watched her painfully type it into the tiny
phone during one of the times, when she had connectivity.
Definitely not good enough for work. 
I would need something like an air-card that lets me connect
the computer and get some work done.
Nothing like that seems to be availabale here.

Well, before we get to the Humor Letter, that I had prepared 
for you, a warning from Dianne:

"HP's customer registration bank was hacked.
Sunday a.m. I woke up to find my printer had printed all the 
stats due to this machine. No, I did not ask it to.
Then Monday afternoon, an HP logo with update appeared on 
my desktop. I clicked on it....
What a mess... full of ma la ware and junk. Took two hours 
to clean out my computer.
Dianne"




Your wheels: Thanks to Cookie for this picture: On the way to mountains today to my son's home, passed this on I-5. It is on a very hot looking auto frame with a chrome decorated motor. Steering wheel is on the top of basket Cookie
Send me pictures of YOUR wheels, or dream wheels! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

"I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or contributing anything to society, my reaction is: 'How can I get in on that?'" --- Dave Barry
After telling the customs agent he had nothing in his bags but clothing, Mark was alarmed when the official decided to open them up and check. In the very first one she opened, cushioned between his socks was a bottle of cognac. "Nothing to declare but clothing, huh?" "Right," Mark extemporized. "That, madam, is my nightcap."
A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day the departing manager tells him, "I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can't solve." Three months down the track there is a major drama, everything goes wrong - the usual stuff - and the manager feels very threatened by it all. He remembers the parting words of his predecessor and opens the first envelope. The message inside says "Blame your predecessor!" He does this and gets off the hook. About half a year later, the company is experiencing a dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. The manager quickly opens the second envelope. The message read, "Reorganize!" This he does, and the company quickly rebounds. Three months later, at his next crisis, he opens the third envelope. The message inside says "Prepare three envelopes".
The REAL Bible Of Fat Burning Food Choices And Healthy Eating. Unsurpassed Quality book! By Shaun Hadsall And Nick Pineault Cut through all the BS and scams and learn the facts. Get The Truth About Fat Burning Foods!

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, "the parrot on the left costs 500 dollars". "Why does the parrot cost so much," asks the man. The shop owner says, "well, the parrot knows how to use a computer". The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system. Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot to be told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question, "What can it do?" To which the shop owner replies, "to be honest I have never seen it do a thing, but the other two refer to him as 'boss'!"
Thanks to Clyde for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dylan Aufdengarten, 27 and Jennifer Harmon, 29 in North Platte, NE Jail Escape Cut Short After Annoying Girlfriend Getaway Driver Reported by The Weekly Vice Dylan Aufdengarten, a 27-year-old escapee from the Lincoln County Detention Center, was promptly returned to jail after his girlfriend getaway driver kicked him out of her car following an argument. According to the Lincoln County Sheriff's Office, Aufdengarten was working at the North Platte Animal Shelter as part of a work program when he slipped away and got into a vehicle that was driven by his girlfriend, 29-year-old Jennifer Harmon. Investigators say the shelter staff was left short handed when someone called in a bogus report that a vicious dog was on the loose. Staff notified the Sheriff's Office of Aufdengarten's escape a short time after he fled the premises. A manhunt was launched which involved the Lincoln County Sheriff's Office, North Platte Police and the Nebraska State Patrol. During the search investigators spoke with Harmon, who admitted to being the getaway driver during Aufdengarten's escape. She also stated that she booted Aufdengarten out of her car five minutes after picking him up because he wouldn't stop arguing with her. Harmon directed authorities to the location where she dropped Aufdengarten off. Aufdengarted was located and returned to custody a short time later. Aufdengarted was booked into jail on a new felony charge of Escape From Custody. He was just 30 days from the completion of his sentence when he was booked into jail on the fresh charge. Jennifer Harmon was booked into jail on a felony charge of Aiding and Abetting Escape. Tech Support Pits From: Walter Re: Mystery voice ads Hi Dear Webby, I guess as an introduction it is superfluous to say how great your letter is.WE ALL KNOW IT IS! My question is about intermittent vocal ads that I hear on my lap-top. There is no video to be seen. The only way I know how to stop is , is to select mute on the audio icon. Have you a better suggestion? Be well, live long, and prosper. Walter Dear Walter "prosper" ? I would love to try that some day! Your voice ads are probably an enslavement. Somebody clicked AGREE without reading the small print and got the machine enslaved and willing to pester you with those voice ads. Try Spybot-Search&Destroy from my tools page at http://webby.com/tools It MIGHT point out the culprit, but since somebody hit AGREE, it can't really do much. Have a look in the Browser TOOLS, ADD-ONS and see if there is something new or unknown. If there is, dump it. Also have a look in Control Panel, Programs and look for weird stuff. Keep in mind, it might be using a name, that is close to something legitimate. I can't search the net right now, because the Internet is down in this region. However, if your net is up, try searching for VOICE ADS, SOUND ADS etc. Quite likely other people got enslaved too. Keep in mind that the name of the ad delivery program is usually not related to whatever program you "bought" with the enslavement. Also look for new tool bars and links to weather or stock services. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Camping In a Travel Trailer For 3-4 years our whole family camped in a travel trailer exclusively. It was fun to prepare an entire meal of home-made lasagne perhaps, complete with china and silverware, and watch the other campers enviously eat hot dogs over campfires. On Monday morning, the kids and I would search the empty campground for fires still burning and any other detritus left behind. We hiked all over the place and I would incorporate what we found into our lessons which I was teaching them. By Susan from Baltimore, MD Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a pro- minent medical school. "Tell me," inquired the interviewer, "where do you expect to be five years from now?" "Well, let's see," replied the student. "It's Wednesday afternoon. I guess I'll be on the golf course by now."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"I bet you think twice before you leave your wife alone at night," chided one man to the other. "I'll say." replied the second. "First, I have to think up a reason for going out. Second, I have to think up why she can't go with me."
» Atomospheric Composition

Today, June 22, in
1611 English explorer Henry Hudson, his son and several 
 other people were set adrift in present-day Hudson Bay 
 by mutineers.
1772 Slavery was outlawed in England.
1807 British seamen board the USS Chesapeake, a provocation 
 leading to the War of 1812.
1815 Napoleon Bonaparte abdicated a second time.
1832 J.I. Howe patented the pin machine.
1909 The first transcontinental auto race ended in 
 Seattle, WA.
1911 King George V of England was crowned.
1915 Austro-German forces occupied Lemberg on the 
 Eastern Front as the Russians retreat.
1925 France and Spain agreed to join forces against 
 Abd el Krim in Morocco.
1933 Germany became a one political party country when 
 Hitler banned parties other than the Nazis.
1940 France and Germany signed an armistice at Compiegne, 
 on terms dictated by the Nazis.
1941 Under the codename Barbarossa, Germany invaded the 
 Soviet Union.
1942 A Japanese submarine shelled Fort Stevens at the 
 mouth of the Columbia River.
1944 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt signed the 
 "GI Bill of Rights" to provide broad benefits for 
 veterans of the war.
1945 During World War II, the battle for Okinawa 
 officially ended after 81 days.
1946 Jet airplanes were used to transport mail for 
 the first time.
1956 The battle for Algiers began as three buildings 
 in Casbah were blown up.
1970 U.S. President Richard Nixon signed 26th amendment, 
 lowering the voting age to 18.
1973 Skylab astronauts splashed down safely in the 
 Pacific after a record 28 days in space.
1980 The Soviet Union announced a partial withdrawal of 
 its forces from Afghanistan.
1992 The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled that 
 hate-crime laws that ban cross-burning and similar 
 expressions of racial bias violated free-speech rights.
1998 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that evidence illegally 
 obtained by authorities could be used at revocation 
 hearings for a convicted criminal's parole.
1999 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that persons with 
 remediable handicaps cannot claim discrimination in 
 employment under the Americans with Disability Act.
2013  smiled


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Has PayPal gone bad? 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Thursday, June 20.

Thank you Billy!

A lot of readers asked me about what I learned about the
skeeters in the Yukon. It is quite simple. Don't get fanatic
swatting them. Let them do their thing. 
They inject some nasty stuff to make the blood flow easier
up their little drill. After a hundred or a few hundred
"bites" the body gets fed up with that and produces something,
that seems to repel them. Once you get over the first few
hundred "bites", they stay away.

It is probably related to the same effect, that causes 
skeeters to leave some people alone and really bug the one
walking beside them. 




Your wheels: Thanks to Jim for this picture: 1958_Chevrolet_Impala my first car, oh do I wish I had it now 49 years later, many good memories. Jim USA Larry
In those days, cars had style! Send me pictures of YOUR wheels, or dream wheels! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

We don't bother much about dress and manners in England, because as a nation we don't dress well and we've no manners. --- George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950) One thing you will probably remember well is any time you forgive and forget. --- Franklin P. Jones
While at the supermarket this weekend, I came across two women talking in the the aisle I was going down. "Harry and I have been together ten years now and he makes me very happy," one said. "So I don't mind buying him what he likes even if it is a litle more expensive." "Well, with my Benny I have no choice. He's just plain fussy," her friend replied. As I passed by their carts I discovered both women were loading their shopping carts with high-priced cat food.
Ray and his live-in girlfriend were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. She said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." Ray said, "You are in charge of the cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." She replies, "No you should do it, and besides it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Ray replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and shows him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says ... "HEBREWS"
The REAL Bible Of Fat Burning Food Choices And Healthy Eating. Unsurpassed Quality book! By Shaun Hadsall And Nick Pineault Cut through all the BS and scams and learn the facts. Get The Truth About Fat Burning Foods!

>From Steve I was working in the sun all day, putting finishing touches on the new deck outside my house. My sister pulled into the driveway, greeted me, and looked over my work. "Wow, Steve," she gushed, "you're an expert." Gloating, feeling like the king that I am, but trying not to seem egotistical, I responded, "Once you get going, it's pretty easy." She looked puzzled, and I wondered if I'd misunderstood her. So I asked, "What did you say, Jen?" She replied, "I said, your neck's burnt!"
Thanks to Nanarina for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Suburban SUV
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Yeiner Garizabalo, 24, San Francisco, Cakifornia Jailed After naked attacks on subway platform Reported by Arca Max The 24-year-old man accused of attacking commuters while naked at a San Francisco subway station proclaimed he is not guilty Tuesday. According to the San Francisco District Attorney's office, Yeiner Garizabalo waived his arraignment and entered not guilty pleas. He is due back in court on July 18 for a pre-hearing conference. The native of Colombia remains in jail on a $100,000 bond and a request from U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials. Garizabalo faces seven charges following the May 10 incident at a Bay Area Rapid Transit station. He appeared in a bizarre video where he, sans clothing, performed acrobatics off subway equipment, then went after commuters trying to catch a train. A video of the incident quickly went viral. In it, a glistening man with a wild mane of hair turns fare gates into balance beams, doing splits and back flips buck-naked. Startled commuters flee as he dashes across the station, attacking people at random. He now stands accused of two felony counts of false imprisonment, four misdemeanor counts of battery and one misdemeanor count of sexual battery in the incident, said Alex Bastian, a spokesman for the District Attorney's office. CNN affiliate KTVU reported Garizabalo faces deportation because of an expired visa. Tech Support Pits From: Jennie Re: Has PayPal gone bad? Dear Webby, Has PayPal gone bad? I received a notice about an order, that was to be shipped to somebody else, but that I supposedly agreed to pay for, and to dispute it to go to their site. And they sent it to one of my email addresses that does not have a paypal account! So far I have not gone to dispute it, not before checking with you. Jennie Dear Jennie PayPal is still good and secure. What you got was a spoof from some crook, who is trying to con you into handing out your password. Just forward that mail to spoof@paypal.com, or trash it. Real mail from the real PayPal always tells you to never click on any apparent link, but to close all browser windows, open a fresh one and type http://paypal.com into the address bar. The only exceptions to that are PayPal invoice buttons on sites that you trust and normally deal with. Whenever you get any mail pretending to be from PayPal, but does not seem 100% right, forward it to spoof@paypal.com. Let them deal with it. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Clean The Shower, Then Take a Shower I hate to clean the shower, I get all wet! So I go IN "prepared to take a shower", and bring my cleaning tools with me. Then I turn on the water clean the shower, then shower myself!. CAUTION - don't use chemicals that may cause skin irritations! Silly, but makes cleaning the shower a little more fun! By Kate Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Mrs. Morris Siegel beckoned to a salesman in Bergdorf Goodman's, pointed to white wool designer dress on a mannequin, and said, "Hey Sonny boy, so how much is the dress on that store dummy over there?" "That dress is $899.95, Madam," sneered the rather snotty salesman. "Oy! For $99.95 I could get the same dress at Klein's Bargain Store downtown!" "But Madam," said the salesman, "You'll find that the dress at Klein's is recycled wool. This original is 100% pure virgin wool." "Nu! So for $800 I should be caring what the lambs do at night?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two contafiters way up nort in Chicargo wuz makin sum contafit money an dey accidently made sum twelve dollar bill by mistake. Dey made a whole bunch of dem before dey foun dere mistake, so insted of startin over dey decide to try to pass dem off. Dey always herd how backward people in Louisiana wuz, especially dem folks name Boudreaux frum down neer Lafayette so dey jumpin dere car an drive down to Lafayette, LA an wen dey got dere dey look in da fone book an shore enuf dey fine Boudreaux's General Store an Mercantile listed rite dere in da yeller pages. Dey went to Boudreaux's store an walk up to da man at da counter. Da firs contafiter say, "Are you Mr. Boudreaux?" Boudreaux say, "Mais shore, dat's me. Wat can Ah do fer you fellers?" Da contafiter wisper to his frien, "This is gonna be easier than I thought." Da contafiter say, "Can you give us change for a twelve dollar bill?" Boudreaux say, "Mais shore Ah can! How you want dat, tree fores, fore trees, or too sixes?"
» Rare Boids

Today, June 20, in
0451 Roman and Barbarian warriors brought Attila's army to 
 a halt at the Catalaunian Plains in eastern France.
1397 The Union of Kalmar united Denmark, Sweden, and Norway 
 under one monarch.
1793 Eli Whitney applied for a cotton gin patent. He received 
 the patent on March 14. The cotton gin initiated the 
 American mass-production concept.
1837 Queen Victoria ascended the British throne following 
 the death of her uncle, King William IV.
1898 The U.S. Navy seized the island of Guam enroute to 
 the Phillipines to fight the Spanish.
1923 France announced it would seize the Rhineland to assist 
 Germany in paying its war debts. That did not go over well.
1943 Race-related rioting erupted in Detroit. Federal troops 
 were sent in two days later to end the violence that left 
 more than 30 dead.
1967 Muhammad Ali was convicted in Houston of violating 
 Selective Service laws by refusing to be drafted. The U.S. 
 Supreme Court later overturned the conviction.
1977 The Trans-Alaska Pipeline began operation.
2002 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the execution of 
 mentally retarded murderers was unconstitutionally cruel. 
 The vote was 6 in favor and 3 against. 
2013  smiled


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Not getting responses 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Wednesday, June 18.

From Dianne:

u made it into yahoo again... 
1st time this month... 
arrived at 0800


Dianne has other email addresses, of course, and tells me,
whenever Yahoo succeeds in delivering the Humor Letter 
to her.

This evening during my walk the wind suddenly stopped.
Huh? No wind in Black Diamond?
Immediately the skeeters attacked. Not the slow tankers of
spring, that you simply hit over an eye with a stick, but 
the small and fast summer skeeters, that attack in swarms.

For about three quarters of a mile I was busy brushing them 
off and cussing them, until my blood remembered how to repel
them, a trick I have learned in the Yukon. 
After that, they dived at me like before, but before touching
down, suddenly veered away. And did not come back.
By the time I got close to home, they did not even do that, 
and just ignored me. Great!

After I got home, I was able to sit out on the deck to cool 
off and have some soup, witout getting bothered.
I am ready for summer!

Your wheels: 1957 Chevy Bel Air Larry
In those days, cars had style! Send me pictures of YOUR wheels, or dream wheels! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

My work is a game, a very serious game. --- M. C. Escher (1898 - 1972) A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. --- Milton Berle
I was buying a large bag of Purina dog food at Wal-Mart for my neighbor and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt and a car hit me. I thought the tall guy was going to need help as he roared with laughter staggering to the door and fresh air.
>From Ethan When the U.S. Mint reissued two-dollar bills, I thought they might someday become collectors' items. I went to the bank and picked up a hundred, serially numbered and still in their original band. On my next trip to my parents' house, I gave the $200 to my mother and said, "Take good care of these. They might be worth something someday." Several months later I asked Mom if she was keeping the two- dollar bills safe. "Oh, yes!" she replied. "I deposited them in the bank the day after you left."
The REAL Bible Of Fat Burning Food Choices And Healthy Eating. Unsurpassed Quality book! By Shaun Hadsall And Nick Pineault Cut through all the BS and scams and learn the facts. Get The Truth About Fat Burning Foods!

Many of you know Dorothy as the fanatical Alaskan Wolf Defender, who managed to block poisoning and aerial hunting for a long time. Nowadays Dorothy and her hubby Leo are busy building a "Monarch Waystation" to help save the Monarch butterflies. Some of the info about that is at http://www.akwildlife.com/Saving_Monarchs.html Dorothy had sent me this about the The Miracle Toddler Diet People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently, people tend to cheat of their diets, or quit after 3 days. Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet. Over the years you may have noticed that most two year olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all in this new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. Good Luck !!! DAY ONE Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes. Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest). Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat Pepsi. Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor. DAY TWO Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye. Lunch: Eat a half tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired. Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on rug. Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon. DAY THREE Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair. Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up. Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch. Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible. FINAL DAY Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog. Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it. Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate. Stick of mascara for dessert. Depending on how much weight you want to lose, you may need a second stick of mascara.
Thanks to Nanarina for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Chand Baori fountain in India. These steps lead to a huge fountain built in the tenth century to collect rain in the region and accumulate them in temporary lakes. The structure has a total of 3,500 steps down to a depth of 30 meters.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes!

An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Malia Brooks, 32, Simi Valley, Calif. Teacher Jailed After Having Sex With Student Under 14 Reported by The Weekly Vice Malia Brooks, a 32-year-old teacher at Garden Grove Elementary School, has been jailed after she allegedly had sex with a male student who was under the age of 14. According to police, an investigation was launched on February 22 after the alleged relationship between Brooks and the child surfaced. Investigators say the relationship began in late 2012 and continued for four months. The exact age of the victim has not been disclosed, but court documents confirm that the child is under the age of 14. Brooks, who is divorced with two children, was placed on administrative leave by the school district when the allegations surfaced. She then submitted her resignation on June 5. Brooks' attorney says his client suffers from "manic episodes" that she is now in treatment for. She was booked into jail and charged with lewd acts upon a child, oral copulation of a person under 14 years of age and three counts of genital penetration by a foreign object. Her bond is currently set at $2 million. Seems they really don't want her to run away. Tech Support Pits From: frtbrn573...@aol.com Re: Not getting responses I make web pages, but when I write to businesses if they want any, I never get any reply, and then they get pages made by somebody else.I just seem to remind them to go find somebody. Why is that? Dear FartBrain I can see why you would be sending potential customers to your competitors. 1) You are writing with a silly alias that is about as confidence and trust inspiring as a ski mask in a bank. Get yourself a domain like the real businesses, and base your address on that. 2) You blurt like a heckler or ill-mannered kid. Learn to write emails like the grown-ups. Greet whoever you are writing to by name. 3) You run away like a midnight vandal. Sign off properly! Except for other AOLers, very few people will write to you, if they have to invent a name for you. 4) Graduate from AOL ! Even though some AOLers claim that they have made money marketing to other AOLers, very few have any success trying to sell anything to people on the real Internet. You have too many other AOLers giving you a bad name. You might as well be using a jail address or admit that you are using FrontPage. No money in that. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cleaning Keyboards I clean my keyboard using the alcohol wipes that are used to clean an area before sticking a needle in you. I have so many of them, the supply company keeps sending me a whole box, and I only use two or three each time I need them. I started to use them to clean the outside of the keys and between the F keys and the numbers and other breaks like that on keyboard. The other thing I do often is use the canned air under the buttons after I vacuum all loose grit up. Usually you will get all the hair out that way. If you have a key that is sticking pop the key off and use a cotton swab with alcohol to clean the area then replace the button, should work good as new now! By jancat from New England DON'T!!! First get rid of any and all cans of canned air, before another kid dies from "huffing" it. Read up on "huffing"! Secondly, blowing dirt around the Universe is generally considered a dumb idea. Here is the proper way to clean a keyboard: 1) Unplug the keyboard 2) Slam it upside down onto a laid out garbage bag, preferably outside. Ignore the breadcrumbs, but salvage paper clips, pins etc. That is why you slam it onto a bag laid out on something big and hard. 3) Thoroughly vacuum the keyboard 4) Take a big, soft shower sponge dipped in hot dishwater and squeezed, so that it does not drip, and wipe the keyboard in a slow, jiggly motion. Repeat if necessary. 5) Slam it upside down onto a fluffy towel and use the towel to rub it dry. That's all there is to it! If keys are sticking, don't get carried away pulling them off! If you do that with a laptop keyboard, you will probably never get that key to work again and have to replace the keyboard. With some keyboards it is safe to pull a key off, but by no means all keyboards! The safe method is to use WD40 with the tiny nozzle, and mist under that key from all sides, before you clean the keyboard. The WD40 will normally lubricate it well enough and make it work like new. However, it can also be a sign, that the mechanism is simply worn out and it is time for a new keyboard. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Anni showed up at the photo shop with an old picture of a former beau wearing a hat, She wanted to know if the photographer could retouch the photo and remove the hat from the picture. He convinced Anni, that it could easily be accomplished, he would just take a picture of it, and work on it with PaintShop Pro or Photoshop. Then he asked her what side of his head did the man in the picture part his hair on. - Thinking hard for a moment, Anni said, "I forget, but you can see that for yourself when you take off his hat."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Martin for this story: A group of Americans was traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through a process of cheese-making, explaining that goats' milk was used. She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing. These, she explained, were the older goats who had been put out to pasture when they no longer produced. She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?" A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours."
» Skyscapes

Today, June 19, in
0240 BC Eratosthenes estimated the circumference of the 
 Earth using two sticks.
1586 English colonists sailed away from Roanoke Island, NC, 
 after failing to establish England's first permanent 
 settlement in America.
1821 The Ottomans defeated the Greeks at the Battle of Dragasani.
1864 The USS Kearsarge sank the CSS Alabama off of Cherbourg, France.
1911 In Pennsylvania, the first motion-picture censorship board 
 was established.
1912 The U.S. government established the 8-hour work day.
1917 During World War I, King George V ordered the British 
 royal family to dispense with German titles and surnames.
1933 France granted Leon Trotsky political asylum.
1939 In Atlanta, GA, legislation was enacted that disallowed 
 pinball machines in the city.
1942 Norma Jeane Mortenson (Marilyn Monroe) and her 21-year-
 old neighbor Jimmy Dougherty were married. They were 
 divorced in June of 1946.
1943 Henry Kissinger became a naturalized United States citizen.
1944 The U.S. won the battle of the Philippine Sea against the 
 Imperial Japanese fleet.
1961 Kuwait regained complete independence from Britain.
1965 Air Marshall Nguyen Cao Ky became South Vietnam's 
 youngest premier at age 34.
1978 Garfield was in newspapers around the U.S. first time.
1981 The European Space Agency sent two satellites into orbit 
from Kourou, French Guiana.
1987 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down the Louisiana law 
 that required that schools teach creationism.
1998 Gateway was fined more than $400,000 for illegally 
 shipping personal computers to 16 countries subject to 
 U.S. export controls.
1998 Switzerland's three largest banks offered $600 million 
 to settle claims they'd stolen the assets of Holocaust 
 victims during World War II. Jewish leaders called the 
 offer insultingly low.
2000 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that a group prayer 
 led by students at public-school football games violated 
 the 1st Amendment's principle that called for the 
 separation of church and state. 
2013  smiled


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Computer speakers for warehouse 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Tuesday, June 18.

"The Supreme Court on Monday tossed out an Arizona 
provision in its voter registration law that required 
proof of citizenship."

Send me a WstJet ticket and I'll come to vote, 
and I will even wear my INS cap.
A cop car and a few guys with INS caps at each polling 
station should help.

I am most definitely on Arizona's side. I hope they 
don't secede over that!

Speaking of cop cars,....
Your wheels: Son Ron loves to show off his 1990 Caprice, an original police car, now back to life, fully restored, lights, horns, radar, etc. It lives in Ardrossan, Alberta, & is getting lots of looks at the car shows. Betty
Great looking car with probably a lot of chasing in it's history. Might even have caught me a time or two. Send me pictures of YOUR wheels, or dream wheels! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work. --- Robert Frost (1874 - 1963) "Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." --- Dennis P. Kimbro
When a coworker received a phone call from her daughter, we heard her exclaim joyfully, "Seven and a half pounds! I'm so proud of you!" After she had hung up, I asked, "Boy or girl?" "Neither," my colleague replied... "Diet."
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of John, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, John had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you got." John reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."
The REAL Bible Of Fat Burning Food Choices And Healthy Eating. Unsurpassed Quality book! By Shaun Hadsall And Nick Pineault Cut through all the BS and scams and learn the facts. Get The Truth About Fat Burning Foods!

The Immigration Officer said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests so far, there is only one test left. Unless you pass it you cannot enter the United States of America. Make a sentence using the words, Yellow, Pink and Green." Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'" Mujibar now works for Verizon. I know because I talked to him yesterday.
Thanks to Nanarina for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Pailon del Diablo, Equador
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Kari Ann Dangler, 51, Key Largo, Floriduh Threatened her roommate with a gun because she hid her Vodka Reported by The Weekly Vice Kari Ann Bradford Dangler, a 51-year-old Florida bonehead, was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly threatened her roommate with a gun for hiding her Vodka. According to the Monroe County Sheriff's Office, officers were dispatched to a Key Largo residence after receiving a complaint that a woman had threatened her roommate with a gun. Investigators say Dangler pointed a revolver at her roommate and threatened her with it after the roommate reportedly hid Dangler's Vodka. Dangler told investigators that she had retrieved the revolver because she was going to clean it. Upon inspection of the gun, deputies found a spent bullet casing and asked Dangler when the gun was last fired. Dangler told them that she fired the gun at a frog about a week prior because the frog had been making too much noise. Dangler was booked into the Monroe County Jail and charged with aggravated assault. If the roommate did not fork over the hidden vodka, she will get off, but won't get her gun back. And she will be well sobered up by then. Then PETA will go after her for shooting a frog. Tech Support Pits From: Andrea Re: Speakers Dear Webby, I need louder speakers, and if possible better quality, because we use Internet radio as background music in the warehouse. However, I found that $69 and $129 speakers are not really any better than $14.95 speakers. What do you recommend? Andrea Dear Andrea Go to a second hand store or pawn shop and get yourself a boom box (portable stereo system) or old home stereo system. They are quite cheap and usually have great sound. Unlike new and shrink-wrapped systems at a music store, the people in used goods stores usually let you plug them in and listen to them. Then just cut off the wires going to the old speakers and connect them to the AUX IN connectors on the boom box or stereo, the connectors made for input from a record player or tape deck or microphone. That way you have the amplification and control, often even with an equalizer, and plenty of volume. Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Cooking Shirt Don't throw men's shirts into the rag bin when they become a little stained or frayed. Use it as a "paint shirt" when cooking. The sleeves protect your clothing better than aprons and kids love to wear them while helping out in the kitchen. I have short sleeve for summer cooking and long sleeved that I roll to my elbows for winter days in the kitchen. By Lisa Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really perturbed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds. AND IT BETTER BE THERE". The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a small box, gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Ed's wife got rather noisy about that and Ed had to move in with his secretary.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
When your wife says, "What do you think?" she is not asking for YOUR opinion. She is asking for HER opinion, from your mouth.
» USAF Birds

Today, June 18, in
1155 Frederick I Barbarossa was crowned emperor of Rome.
1429 French forces defeated the English at battle of Patay.
1667 The Dutch fleet sailed up the Thames toward London.
1778 Britain evacuated Philadelphia during the U.S. 
 Revolutionary War.
1812 The War of 1812 began as the U.S. declared war against 
 Great Britain. The conflict began over trade restrictions.
1815 At the Battle of Waterloo Napoleon was defeated by an 
 international army under the Duke of Wellington. Napoleon 
 abdicated on June 22.
1928 Amelia Earhart became the first woman to fly across 
 the Atlantic Ocean as she completed a flight from 
 Newfoundland to Wales.
1951 General Vo Nguyen Giap ended his Red River Campaign 
 against the French in Indochina.
1953 Egypt was proclaimed to be a republic with General 
 Neguib as its first president.
1961 "Gunsmoke" was broadcast for the last time on CBS radio.
1998 The Walt Disney Co. purchased a 43% stake in the Web 
 search engine company Infoseek Corp.
2009 NASA launched the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter/LCROSS 
 probes to the Moon. It was the first American lunar mission 
 since Lunar Prospector in 1998.
2009 Greenland assumed control over its law enforcement, 
 judicial affairs, and natural resources from the Kingdom 
 of Denmark. Greenlandic became the official language. 
2013  smiled


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Tripod camera bolt 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Monday, June 17.

Your wheels: Hi Webby, here is my 2012 MINI Cooper. Fun little car! Carol
They sure got longer over the years! My first car, in 1971, was a Mini Cooper. It had only been driven by a little old lady before I bought it. Yeah, right. I learned rebuilding the engine before I ever got a speeding ticket. Once I had it working, the way it should, it was a lot of fun. It was definitely not designed for the Yukon, though. It required scraping the inside of the windshield until late winter. Send me pictures of YOUR wheels, or dream wheels! Have FUN! DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. --- Henny Youngman (1906 - 1998) A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool, usually has his suspicions. --- Wilson Mizner Men who never get carried away should be. --- Malcolm Forbes The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. --- Robert Frost
>Thanks to Jessica for this one: “I know you’re retired from the Armed Forces” said the boss. “What did they say to you there if you showed up in the morning so late and so often?” The old man looked down at the floor and chuckled quietly, “Good morning Admiral, can I get your coffee sir”
>Thanks to Jessica for this one: A teacher asked a student. “Do you really think people can predict the future with cards?” He quickly replied, “My mother can. She takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home.”
The REAL Bible Of Fat Burning Food Choices And Healthy Eating. Unsurpassed Quality book! By Shaun Hadsall And Nick Pineault Cut through all the BS and scams and learn the facts. Get The Truth About Fat Burning Foods!

Five Belgians in an Audi Quattro arrive at the French border. The French Customs agent stops them and tells them: "It's illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro." "Oh, no, Quattro is just the name of the automobile. Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry 5 persons." "You can't pull that one on me," replies the French customs agent. "Quattro means 4!" "Oh, you are so stupid! Call your supervisor over!" "He can't come. He's busy with the 2 guys in the Fiat Uno."
Thanks to Nanarina for this picture: Click on the picture for the large version Wurzburg, Germany
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Antonio Younger, 39, Tulsa, Oklahoma Wanted Sex Offender Caught Wearing Wig And Sharpie Marker Eyebrows Reported by The Weekly Vice Antonio Younger, a 39-year-old convicted sex offender, was jailed while wearing a wig and sharpie marker eyebrows after Tulsa Police picked him up on a warrant for failing to register as a sex offender. According to Tulsa Police, Younger was arrested during a traffic stop in which he was found sporting a wig and sharpie marker eyebrows. Investigators say the warrant had been issued back in July 2011 when he failed to register as a sex offender or notify authorities of his whereabouts following his release from prison. According to court records, Younger served 5 years of a 9-year prison sentenced after he was convicted of first-degree rape and intimidating a witness. Upon his release, Younger was ordered to register as a sex offender and notify authorities within 3 days anytime he had a change of address. Younger apparently thought wearing a wig for the rest of his life would be a far easier task to deal with. He was booked into the Tulsa County Jail and charged with failing to register with authorities (as required by provisions of the sex offender registration act.) He remains held in lieu of $5,000 bond. Can't fool that face-recognition software with a Mark-All! Tech Support Pits From: Alex Re: Tripod Bolt Dear Webby, I lent out my tripod and it came back with the bolt, that holds the camera, missing. My Camera is a Canon Powershot. What kind of bolt is required to hold it? Alex Dear Betty Dear Alex 99.9% of all cameras take a standard 1/4" x 20 (1/4" coarse) bolt. With some searching around small hardware stores you should be able to find a wing-bolt. If not, simply glue a wing-nut onto the bolt head with 2-hour epoxy. Proper tripod bolts have a tiny groove and a circlip (C-shaped washer) to holt it from falling out. If you don't have a lathe, you can mark where that groove should be with a felt marker, and then cut it with a hack-saw or key file. You can get circlips at better hardware stores and automotive parts stores. Normally the bolt just holds the camera down onto the turret. If the camera is supposed to turn and swivel on the bolt, that that piece of junk and heave it into a dumpster. It is a waste of time. With any half decent tripod, the turret, that holds the camera, turns in a tall sleeve, that can be tightened. The taller the sleeve, the better. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Vinegar For Microwave Cleaning Put water in a large cup with 2 tsp. of vinegar. Put it in the microwave for 1 1/2 minutes, then let sit for 10 minutes. Wipe out. It's easy to clean and sweet smelling! By jobaby2543 Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
A little boy who is rushing out of the house pauses in front of his father. "Dad," the boy says, "I'm late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?" "Son, it just wouldn't be right," his father says. "That's okay," the little fellow says. "You could at least give it a try, couldn't you?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Scientists were excited this week at having isolated a brief sound which occurred immediately before the Big Bang. Apparently, that sound was "OOOPS!"
» Lily Family

Today, June 17, in
0362 Emperor Julian issued an edict banning Christians from 
 teaching in Syria.
1579 Sir Francis Drake claimed San Francisco Bay for England.
1775 The British took Bunker Hill outside of Boston.
1799 Napoleon Bonaparte incorporated Italy into his empire.
1837 Charles Goodyear received his first patent. The patent 
 was for a process that made rubber easier to work with.
1854 The Red Turban revolt broke out in Guangdong, China.
1876 General George Crook’s command was attacked and defeated 
 on the Rosebud River by 1,500 Sioux and Cheyenne under the 
 leadership of Crazy Horse.
1885 The Statue of Liberty arrived in New York City aboard 
 the French ship Isere.
1912 The German Zeppelin SZ 111 burned in its hanger in 
 Friedrichshafen.
1913 U.S. Marines set sail from San Diego to protect American 
 interests in Mexico.
1917 The Russian Duma met in a secret session in Petrograd 
 and voted for an immediate Russian offensive against the 
 German Army. (World War I)
1924 The Fascist militia marched into Rome.
1926 Spain threatened to quit the League of Nations if 
 Germany was allowed to join.
1928 Amelia Earhart began the flight that made her the first 
 woman to successfully fly across the Atlantic Ocean.
1930 The Smoot-Hawley Tariff Bill became law. It placed a 
 prohibitive tariff on imports to the U.S.
1931 British authorities in China arrested Indochinese 
 Communist leader Ho Chi Minh.
1932 The U.S. Senate defeated the bonus bill as 10,000 
 veterans massed around the Capitol.
1940 The Soviet Union occupied Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia.
1940 France asked Germany for terms of surrender in World War II.
1944 The republic of Iceland was established.
1950 Dr. Richard H. Lawler performed the first kidney 
 transplant in a 45-minute operation in Chicago, IL.
1953 Soviet tanks fought thousands of Berlin workers that 
 were rioting against the East German government.
1963 The U.S. Supreme Court banned the required reading of 
 the Lord's prayer and Bible in public schools.
1965 Twenty-seven B-52’s hit Viet Cong outposts but lost 
two planes in South Vietnam.
1991 The Parliament of South Africa repealed the Population 
 Registration Act. The act had required that all South Africans 
 be classified by race at birth. 
2013  smiled


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Weird symbols due to Windows Live and Microsoft WORD 



Good Morning,  !

Today is Sunday, June 16.

Your wheels: Our little "cube" have it 2 years and still get lots of attention, mostly in parking lots-question asked "is it combfortable?" answer "yes", "do you get good mileage?" answer "yes". Also lots of storage room, bigger on the inside then it looks. Mary
Send me pictures of YOUR wheels, or dream wheels! Have FUN! DearWebby
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America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked. --- Jay Leno Only in America...could the rich people - who pay 86% of all income taxes - be accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay any income taxes at all. --- Moe
Liz and Tina were sipping their Starbucks when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod. "I'm going to do that when I win the lottery," announced Liz. "Do what?" asked Tina. "Send my lawn out to be mowed."

Grow Your Greatest Garden Ever in Do-It-Yourself Built Waist High Raised Beds! It's really easy, when you got detailled instructions. You even get videos to show how easy it is! With the GardenRack style there is no more bending down. No more kneeling! Everything is at the height, that is the most comfortable for YOU! No special skills or tools required. Give the lumber list to Home Depot, and they will cut and deliver it. Half an afternoon of screwing around with a drill used as a power screwdriver, and it is done. The second one will take less than half an hour. Get the GardenRack now!

A nurse was showing some student nurses through the hospital. "This will be the most hazardous section in the hospital for you. The men on this floor are almost well."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture from her garden: Click on the picture for the large version
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Patrick Stapleton, 22, Lothian, marlyland Jailed After Mistaking Handgun For BB Gun, Shooting Friend In Butt Reported by The Weekly Vice Patrick Stapleton, a 22-year-old Maryland bonehead, was jailed Wednesday after his idea of a prank went painfully wrong. According to Lothian Police, Stapleton was over at a friend's home at about 4 a.m. Wednesday morning when he had the ill-conceived idea of shooting his passed out friend in the butt with a BB gun. Investigators say Stapleton grabbed a .40 caliber handgun, which he believed was a BB gun, and fired one round into his 21-year-old friend's buttocks. The owner of the home was not present during the shooting and the hand gun belonged to the homeowner's son, who was not involved in the shooting. The victim was transported to Prince George's Hospital Center where he is being treated for his injury. Stapleton was booked into jail and charged with second-degree assault and reckless endangerment. Tech Support Pits From: Betty Re: Weird symbols Hi Webby, those funny symbols really bug me! I know I didn’t type it in like that, so why does it change to that, just in some places? It seems to hit the ‘s spot!?? I think there is a setting somewhere for it but sure can’t find it now! Can you please help an old lady? Thanks, TC, Betty Dear Betty You are talking about Microslop. Microsoft Windows Live Mail is added to Microsoft WORD in the same fashion as a Hillbilly tacks the fifth extension onto his shack. An extra bed, but you still have to use the same old free-fall crapper. Microsoft WORD was written for printing, and it has done a great job since the mid 80's. In those days, some faggy yuppie decided that it would be cute to use left and right leaning quotes and apostrophes, to set WORD apart from WordStar and WordPerfect. Well, those left and right leaning quotes and apostrophes are not on a regular keyboard, but Microsoft PRINTER drivers have been told how to interpret them. So, as long as you PRINT from WORD, everything is fine. The problem starts when you go outside, into the big, wide world. When the Internet and email came along, Microsoft quickly added an email program, Outlook Express, that also could understand and use the weird quotes and apostrophes. However, they messed up, and mis-interpreted the regular quotes, the ones you use for example, when you talk about the early 90's, when they committed THAT screw-up and carved it into stone. That is the old free-fall crapper in the Hillbilly shack with the half dozen extensions. Everything they did since then has that screw-up built in, including your Microsoft Windows Live Mail. Yep, same old free-fall crapper. The resultant crap is commonly referred to as Microslop. Microsoft is still VERY defensive about that, and says that if the whole world would use Microsoft Windows Live Mail (or Outlook or Hoe Mail), then they would not notice the Microslop. Well, the whole world does NOT use those programs. There IS a secret trick to turn the Microslop off. On the Tools menu, click AutoCorrect Options, and then click the AutoFormat As You Type tab. Under Replace as you type, select or clear the "Straight quotes" with "smart quotes" check box. Depending on the program you use, they call the Microslop "Curly Quotes" or "Smart Quotes". You might be able to hunt down more information in the HELP by searching for those terms. Once you have the "Curly Quotes" turned off, your mail recipients will stop snickering behind your back. Have FUN! DearWebby
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Vinegar For Microwave Cleaning Put water in a large cup with 2 tsp. of vinegar. Put it in the microwave for 1 1/2 minutes, then let sit for 10 minutes. Wipe out. It's easy to clean and sweet smelling! By jobaby2543 My 30-odd year old Kenmore takes "nuking" seriously and tends to explode and throw food. I use a wide putty knife to get all the solids firs and screape them into a dust pan. Then I put a saucer half filled with water into it and add some vinegar. 3 minutes of nuking vaporizes most of it, five minutes steeping softens whatever is left. After that I use one of those yellow & green sponges to wipe it out. Make sure you get the sponges, that have natural looking holes ith varying and uneven size, not the foam rubber type. That makes a HUGE difference. You can, of course, also use a big shower sponge. Have FUN! DearWebby Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
A realty salesman had just closed his first deal, only to discover that the piece of land he had sold was completely under water. "That customer's going to come back here pretty mad," he said to his boss. "Should I give him his money back?" "Money back?" roared the boss. "What kind of salesman are you? For pete sakes, get out there and sell him a houseboat!"
Forceful Insecticides and fertilizers from Home Made Formula! Discover Secret Information that lets you use cheap household stuff to beat the expensive storebought insecticides, pesticides and fertilizers! Get the famous John Perez book and articles for a song with this Special Deal!

A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with a pet dog he doted on. The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father, the dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the creature?" Father Patrick replied, "No, we cannot have services for an animal in the church, but there's a new denomination down the road, no telling what they believe, but maybe they'll do something for the animal." Muldoon said "I'll go right now. Do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?" Father Patrick asked, "Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"My god! What happened to you?" the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast. "I got in a tiff with Riley." "Riley? He's just a wee fellow," the barkeep said, surprised. "He must have had something in his hand." "Aye...that he did," Kelly said. "A shovel it was." "Dear Lord...didn't you have anything in YOUR hand?" "Aye, that I did," Kelly said. "And a beautiful thing it was, but that particular part of Mrs. Riley is not much use in a fight!"
» Worst Parents

Today, June 16, in
0455 Rome was sacked by the Vandal army. That gave the Vandals
 a bad name.
1487 The War of the Roses ended with the Battle of Stoke.
1567 Mary, Queen of Scots, was imprisoned in Lochleven 
 Castle in Scotland.
1815 Napoleon defeated the Prussians at the Battle of Ligny, 
 Netherlands.
1884 At Coney Island, in Brooklyn, NY, the first roller 
 coaster in America opened.
1903 Ford Motor Company was incorporated.
1907 The Russian czar dissolved the Duma in St. Petersburg.
1922 Henry Berliner accomplished the first helicopter 
 flight in the US at College Park, MD.
1925 France accepted a German proposal for a security pact.
1955 Argentine naval officers launched an attack on 
 President Juan Peron's headquarters. The revolt was 
 suppressed by the army.
1963 26-year-old Valentina Tereshkova went into orbit 
 aboard the Vostok 6 spacecraft for three days. She was 
 the first female space traveler.
1976 In Soweto, thousands of school children revolted 
 against the South African government's plan to enforce 
 Afrikaans as the language for instruction in black schools.
2008 California began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex 
couples.
2013  smiled


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