Sharp Pictures on the web
Monday, May 27, 2013, 10:51 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, May 27.
I wish all American readers a happy and safe Memorial Day.
Whether you're relaxing at home or traveling with family,
enjoy your long weekend, and give a thought or two to the
heroes, who paid for your freedom with their lives and limbs.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
I am not young enough to know everything.
--- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at
science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?
--- Kelvin Throop III
Jim's doctor tells him he has only one day to live. When
Jim goes home to share the bad news with his wife, she asks
what he wants to do with the little bit of time he has left.
"All I want," Jim tells his beloved wife, "is to spend my
last few hours reliving our honeymoon." Which is exactly
what they did.
But after hours of blissful romance, she announces that
she's tired and wants to go to sleep.
"Oh, come on," Jim whispers in her ear.
"Look," his wife snaps, "I've got to get up in the morning.
You don't!"
THE 30 MOST COMMON PC ISSUES AND
FIXES
This book includes the best solutions posted on the Internet
(blogs,forums,manuals,etc) combined with the 10 years of PC
repair experience of the author Sebastian Nesh. It can be
used anytime by anyone. No specialized knowledge required.
You don't need to be tech guy to use this book!
Get the
FIXES!
A hunter walking through the jungle, found a huge, dead
dinosaur, with a pigmy standing beside it. Amazed, he asked,
"Did you kill that?"
The pigmy said, "Yes."
The hunter asked, "How could a little bloke like you kill
a huge beast like that?"
The pigmy said, "I killed it with my club."
The astonished hunter asked, "How big is your club?"
The pigmy replied, "Not counting the Women's Auxiliary,
there are about two hundred of us."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Rodney Wold, 64, Louisville, KY
Jailed After Threatening Neighbor
With Rifle Over Wabbits
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Rodney Wold, a 64-year-old Kentucky man, was jailed after
he allegedly threatened a neighbor with an AK-47 because
the neighbor had been shooting at wabbits, err rabbits.
According to Louisville Police, Wold became angry when he
caught his neighbor sitting on his back porch shooting at
rabbits.
In retaliation, Wold retrieved a loaded AK-47 rife from
his home, pointed it at his neighbor and yelled "if you
want to hunt something, you can hunt me."
When officers arrived on the scene, the neighbor admitted
to shooting at rabbits with an air rifle because they were
damaging his garden.
The neighbor's wife, who witnessed the incident, told officers
that they had previously had problems with Wold.
After obtaining permission to search Wold's residence, officers
located the AK-47 between the mattress and box spring of his bed.
Officers found the rifle loaded with a magazine that held 19
rounds, according to the arrest affidavit.
Wold was booked into jail and charged with wanton endangerment.
His bond has been set at $5,000.
Tech Support Pits
From: Holly
Re: Picture clarity
Dear Webby
Why are some pictures on the net and in email so fuzzy
and others are sharp and clear? is that because of the
type of camera used?
Holly
Dear Holly
Usually that has nothing to do with the camera, but with
how the camera was used, and especially how the pictures
were saved.
Some people are on slow servers and have to reduce the
size of their files, so that they finish loading before the
visitor's attention span runs out. That is done by chosing
a high compression ratio. With the JPG files, that are used
on the web, the compression is "lossy". When pixels are
thrown away, color depth and clarity naturally suffers.
This is made even worse if a picture is edited and saved
multiple times. Each time the compression loses more
pixels and the picture gets fuzzier and more washed out
looking.
Lost pixels can never be returned.
For editing I recommend using PSP, PSD, or PNG format, and
only convert the picture to JPG as a last step before
uploading. You can even leave them in PNG format. Most modern
browsers can handle PNG pictures.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Spray Pans With "No Stick" Spray in Dishwasher
When spraying your baking and frying pans with no stick
spray, open your dishwasher door and place the item on it.
Spray your cooking pans as desired and simply close the
dishwasher door. No oily mess to clean off the counters
and items on your counter in the general area and especially
not on the floors making an extreme slipping hazard.
Close the door and easily clean it all up the next time
you run your dishwasher through the cycles leaving a shiny
clean inside door and no residue to clean while trying to
prepare your food saving time, energy and money by not
having to purchase as much cleaning supplies. Simple and
easy, try it and guaranteed you will use this trick often,
I know I do!
By Beau D from Vancouver, WA
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Grow food with a minimum amount of work
in a minimum amount of space with
Food4Wealth.
Absolutely everything you need to know to grow
healthy,
fresh organic food, without all the problems.
Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable.
It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to
understand. This package includes a fully illustrated
step by step manual, PLUS AudioBook and over
60 minutes of video.
Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard,
and stop worrying about harmful chemicals!
Get Food4Wealth Now!
60 day money back guarantee!
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner
at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around
the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny
received his plate, he started eating right away.
"Johnny wait until we say our prayer."
"I don't have to," The boy replied.
"Of course, you do," his mother insisted.
"We say a prayer, before eating, at our house."
"That's at our house," Johnny explained. "But this is
Grandma's house and her food always turns out good!
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
My mother-in-law just ran me over!"
the shaken man told the police officer.
"The car hit you from behind," the officer said.
"How could you tell it was your mother-in-law?"
And the man said, "I recognized the laugh!"
Today, May 27, in
1647 Achsah Young, a resident of Windsor, CT, was executed
for being a "witch."
1668 Three colonists were expelled from Massachusetts for
being Baptists.
1896 255 people were killed in St. Louis, MO, by a tornado.
1907 The Bubonic Plague broke out in San Francisco.
1919 A U.S. Navy seaplane completed the first transatlantic
flight.
1931 Piccard and Knipfer made the first flight into the
stratosphere, by balloon.
1937 In California, the Golden Gate Bridge was opened to
pedestrian traffic. The bridge connected San Francisco
and Marin County.
1941 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt proclaimed an
"unlimited national emergency" amid rising world tensions.
1941 The German battleship Bismarck was sunk by British
naval and air forces. 2,300 people were killed.
1942 German General Erwin Rommel began a major offensive
in Libya with his Afrika Korps.
1960 A military coup overthrew the democratic government of Turkey.
1977 George H. Willig was fined for scaling the World Trade Center
in New York on May 26. He was fined $1.10.
1982 Japan announced the elimination of tariffs on 96
industrial goods.
1986 Mel Fisher recovered a jar that contained 2,300 emeralds
from the Spanish ship Atocha. The ship sank in the 17th century.
1996 Russian President Boris Yeltsin negotiated a cease-fire
to the war in Chechnya in his first meeting with the leader
of the rebels.
1997 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the sexual harassment
suit filed by Paula Jones could continue while President
Clinton was in office.
1998 Michael Fortier was sentenced to 12 years in prison for
not warning anyone about the plot to bomb an Oklahoma City
federal building.
1999 In The Hague, Netherlands, a war crimes tribunal indicted
Slobodan Milosevic and four others for atrocities in Kosovo.
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How to find a lost browser
Sunday, May 26, 2013, 11:12 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, May 26.
The snow we got during the week and the icy rain
did not delay the Rhubarb one bit. With blatant disregard
for climate and weather it shook off the snow and virtually
exploded. From now until the end of September it will produce
more than I can use.
During the afternoon it looked like a major storm was
approaching, but I managed to mow the back half before it
broke.
The Saskatoon bushes in the back are just starting to bloom.
If we get some sunshine, I'll take some pictures.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
No matter what side of the argument you are on,
you always find people on your side
that you wish were on the other.
--- Jascha Heifetz (1901 - 1987)
The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy
is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest
threat to liberty.
--- Eugene McCarthy
A young mother paying a visit to a doctor friend and his
wife made no attempt to restrain her four-year-old son,
who was ransacking an adjoining room.
But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt
her to say, "I hope, doctor, you don't mind Johnny
being in there."
"No," said the doctor calmly, "He'll be quiet soon.
That stuff is cheap but quite poisonous."
THE 30 MOST COMMON PC ISSUES AND
FIXES
This book includes the best solutions posted on the Internet
(blogs,forums,manuals,etc) combined with the 10 years of PC
repair experience of the author Sebastian Nesh. It can be
used anytime by anyone. No specialized knowledge required.
You don't need to be tech guy to use this book!
Get the
FIXES!
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to
pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at
predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only, but they must be
bees wax candles.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and
three committees to approve the change and decide who
brings the potato salad.
Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to
mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the
old bulb was.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four
wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in
favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if
in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work
for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or
compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the
next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number
of light bulb traditions including incandescent, fluorescent,
three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally
valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright,
dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light
bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting
service is planned for Sunday.Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five
men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
------------------
If you have any other definitions, plelase send them to me.
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Joseph Meacham, 39, St louis, Missouri
Flees From Police During Traffic Stop,
Attempts To Hide Inside Police Headquarters
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Joseph Meacham, a 39-year-old St. Louis man was jailed
Wednesday after he allegedly ran into a police department
while trying to flee officers.
According to the Clayton Police, an officer was attempting
to pull Meacham over for an unknown traffic violation when
Meacham stopped the vehicle and fled on foot.
As Meacham was being chased by the officer, he unknowingly
ran into the St. Louis County police office looking
for a place to hide.
Investigators say detectives watched as Meacham darted in
and out of hallways, clearly not knowing where he was going.
Eventually, Meacham ran into an office occupied by the
Chief of Police. That's when he realized that he had hit a
dead end, dropped to the floor and curled up into a ball.
Meacham was then taken into custody at gun point.
"He acted like if he didn't look up and couldn't see us,
then we couldn't see him," said St. Louis County Lt. Bryan Ludwig.
Meacham was booked into jail and issued several court
summonses. He was later released without bail.
A female who was a passenger in Meacham's vehicle during the
arrest was also taken into custody, but has been cooperating
with police.
Tech Support Pits
From: Rheta
Re: Lost browser
Deat Webby;
Will here I am again. With another question. Some how I have
AOL as my browser. I have no idea how I lost my Internet
explorer. How do I get it back? Please.
Rheta
Dear Rheta
Click on start and type
iexplore
and hit enter.
If you have FireFox installed somewhere, you can type
firefox
and hit Enter.
When you hit Enter, the selected browser will start up,
and ask you, if you want to make it the default browser.
Most likely you have an icon for your favorite browser
somewhere in your forest of desktop icons.
Send a youngster on a scavenger hunt to find it.
When it is found, right-click the status bar,
and make sure it is not locked.
Then drag the found icon onto the status bar next to START.
Now it will always be handy and won't get lost again.
After that, you can lock the tool bar again.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Sugar Scrub
I know most of you have heard of sugar scrubs as a facial,
so I thought I would try a homemade version. I put about
a tablespoon of sugar in my hand and add any lotion on
top of it, then rub it onto my face and neck for about
a minute or as long as you like. Rinse well. My face and
neck feel so soft and looks smoother.
By stronium from Grayson, KY
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Grow food with a minimum amount of work
in a minimum amount of space with
Food4Wealth.
Absolutely everything you need to know to grow
healthy,
fresh organic food, without all the problems.
Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable.
It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to
understand. This package includes a fully illustrated
step by step manual, PLUS AudioBook and over
60 minutes of video.
Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard,
and stop worrying about harmful chemicals!
Get Food4Wealth Now!
60 day money back guarantee!
As chaplain in a university residence hall,
I am supposed to uphold all of the school rules,
which include a ban on pets.
That changed when a kitten adopted me.
The freshmen in my dorm kept my secret.
They covered for me by calling my kitten
"the Book,"
since I had so many in my room.
One morning I was leaving the dorm
with the kitten in a beer case converted
to a kitten carrier.
A student stopped me and asked,
"Where are you taking the Book?"
I explained that I was taking the kitten to the vet.
"She's getting fixed today," I told him.
"Hmmm," the student responded,
"no sequels."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
When Bob came home, his wife was crying.
"Your mother insulted me," she sobbed.
"My mother? How could she do that when she is on
vacation on the other side of the world?" Bob asked.
"I know. But this morning a letter addressed to you
arrived. I opened it because I was curious."
"And?"
"At the end of the letter she wrote:
PS. Dear Diane, when you have finished reading this letter,
don't forget to give it to my son."
Today, May 26, in
0017 Germanicus of Rome celebrated his victory over the Germans.
1328 William of Ockham was forced to flee from Avignon
1521 Martin Luther was banned by the Edict of Worms because
of his religious beliefs and writings.
1647 A new law banned Catholic priests from the colony of
Massachusetts. The penalty was banishment or death for
a second offense.
1660 King Charles II of England landed at Dover after being
exiled for nine years.
1670 A treaty was signed in secret in Dover, England, between
Charles II and Louis XIV ending the hostilities between them.
1736 The British and Chickasaw Indians defeated the French
at the Battle of Ackia.
1791 The French Assembly forced King Louis XVI to hand over
the crown and state assets.
1805 Napoleon Bonaparte was crowned King of Italy in Milan
1831 Russians defeated the Poles at battle of Ostrolenska.
1896 The last czar of Russia, Nicholas II, was crowned.
1908 In Persia, the first oil strike was made in the Middle East.
1913 Actors’ Equity Association was organized in New York City.
1940 The evacuation of Allied troops from Dunkirk, France, began
1946 A patent was filed in the United States for an H-bomb.
1946 British Prime Minister Winston Churchill signed a military
pact with Russian leader Joseph Stalin.
1956 The first trailer bank opened for business in Locust Grove,
Long Island, NY. The 46-foot-long trailer took in $100,000
in deposits its first day.
1959 The word "Frisbee" became a registered trademark of Wham-O.
1961 A U.S. Air Force bomber flew across the Atlantic in a
record time of just over three hours.
1969 The Apollo 10 astronauts returned to Earth after a successful
eight-day dress rehearsal for the first manned moon landing.
1975 American stuntman Evel Knievel suffered severe spinal
injuries in Britain when he crashed while attempting to jump
13 buses in his car.
1977 George H. Willig was arrested after he scaled the
South Tower of New York's World Trade Center. It took him
3 1/2 hours.
1991 A Lauda Air Boeing 767 crashed in Thailand, killing all
223 people aboard.
1994 U.S. President Clinton renewed trade privileges for China,
and announced that his administration would no longer link
China's trade status with its human rights record.
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Saturday, May 25, 2013, 11:10 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, May 25.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Man is ready to die for an idea, provided that idea is not quite clear to him.
--- Paul Eldridge
Life is full of obstacle illusions.
--- Grant Frazier
A man entered a stationery store and asked the clerk for a
birthday/anniversary card.
The clerk replied, "We have birthday cards and we have an-
niversary cards. Why not take one of each?"
The man said, "You don't understand. I need a card that
covers BOTH events! You see, we're celebrating the fifth
anniversary of my wife's thirty-fourth birthday."
THE 30 MOST COMMON PC ISSUES AND
FIXES
This book includes the best solutions posted on the Internet
(blogs,forums,manuals,etc) combined with the 10 years of PC
repair experience of the author Sebastian Nesh. It can be
used anytime by anyone. No specialized knowledge required.
You don't need to be tech guy to use this book!
Get the
FIXES!
The ninety-five year old woman at the nursing home received
a visit from one of her fellow church members.
"How are you feeling?" the visitor asked.
"Oh," said the lady, "I'm just worried sick!"
"What are you worried about, dear?" her friend asked.
"You look like you're in good health. They are taking
care of you, aren't they?"
"Yes, they are taking very good care of me."
"Are you in any pain?" she asked.
"No, I have never had a pain in my life."
"Well, what are you worried about?" her friend asked again.
The lady leaned back in her rocking chair and slowly
explained her major worry. "Every close friend I ever had
has already died and gone on to heaven. I'm afraid they're
all wondering where I went."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Gregory Stambaugh, 57, and Karen Harrelson, 48 in York, PA
Couple Jailed After Stabbing One Another
During Argument Over American Idol
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Gregory Stambaugh, 57, and Karen Harrelson, 48, were jailed
last Wednesday after they allegedly stabbed each other
during an argument over which contestant should win
'American Idol.'
According to police, Stambaugh and Harrelson had been
watching the show at Stambaugh's home Wednesday evening
when they got into an argument over who should win the
season's title.
Investigators say one of the suspects went to the kitchen,
grabbed a knife and stabbed the other. In retaliation, the
other suspect grabbed the knife and stabbed back.
When police arrived at the scene, both Stambaugh and
Harrelson argued about who stabbed first.
Police believe alcohol was likely a factor in the altercation,
and since they did not leak much and were internally antiseptic,
Stambaugh and Harrelson were booked into the York County Prison
and charged with assault.
Tech Support Pits
From: Sharon
Re: Ad Blocking
Deat Webby;
Thanks for the camera hints on pixel size for emailing. I
saved the pic to the pc then cut them down in size &
emailed them. The receipants said they came thru really well.
I read some where a long time ago that there is a way to
stop the ad banners while surfing a site. Do you know
how to do this?
Also I am curious if using instant messenger for chatting
w/ family & friends is a way of getting a virus? I do a virus
scan twice a week & have one that is on auto protect all
the time.
Thanks for your wonderful help.
Sharon
Dear Sharon
There are ways to block all ads.
The easiest is not to go to sites, that use ads to help pay
for their web space.
Contrary to popular opinion, web space is not paid for by
the Easter Bunny.
When I really like a site, I click on every ad they have.
I know they will get a few pennies per 1000 exposures,
and I don't begrudge them that. The same when I buy
something over the net, I try to approach it through an
ad on a site that I like. It does not cost me any extra,
but it may make the difference between them staying alive
or not.
If you do the opposite, and block ads, then you are looking
for trouble. Many sites consider that as being a parasite,
and they redirect your browser away from their good pages.
Where they redirect you to, that's anyones guess and
depends on how much they dislike parasites. Often those
redirect targets are bad news.
Nobody is getting rich off the ads any more, but they do
help with the expenses of running a site.
Re Instant Messengers: If you use AOL Instant messenger
or MSN messenger or Yahoo messenger, then you better have
VERY good security up and running,
and pray a lot.
Especially AIM seems to be a real trouble magnet.
On the other end of the spectrum is Skype. It is encrypted
and hostile stuff just does not make it through that encryption.
We use Skype for tech support and there has never been
even the slightest hint of any problem. And it's free!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Cardboard To Clean Keyboard
I found to my surprise that using cardboard from a toilet paper roll, about the size of a large paperclip, makes an excellent hair and debris picker-upper from off the keyboard.
By Robyn
A vacuum cleaner works well too.
Since I stopped smoking a bit over two years ago, keyboards
require a lot less cleaning. Nowadays I just hit them
upside down over the garbage can, then give them a squirt
of window cleaner and vacuum them. One swipe with the carpet
beater is enough and all the keys are bright and shiny again.
Today's keyboards are very sturdy and can take all kinds
of abuse.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Grow food with a minimum amount of work
in a minimum amount of space with
Food4Wealth.
Absolutely everything you need to know to grow
healthy,
fresh organic food, without all the problems.
Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable.
It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to
understand. This package includes a fully illustrated
step by step manual, PLUS AudioBook and over
60 minutes of video.
Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard,
and stop worrying about harmful chemicals!
Get Food4Wealth Now!
60 day money back guarantee!
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it
cost to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying for
it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A father noticed that his son was spending way too much time
playing computer games. In an effort to motivate the boy to
focus more attention on his schoolwork, the father said to
his son, "When Lincoln was your age, he was studying books
by the light of the fireplace."
The son replied, "But Dad, when Lincoln was your age, he
was President of The United States!"
Today, May 25, in
585 BC The first known prediction of a solar eclipse was
made in Greece.
1085 Alfonso VI took Toledo, Spain from the Moslems.
1810 Argentina declared independence from Napoleonic Spain.
1844 The gasoline engine was patented by Stuart Perry.
1895 Oscar Wilde, a playwright, poet and novelist, was
convicted of a morals charge and sentenced to prison in London.
1927 Ford Motor Company announced that the Model A would
replace the Model T.
1953 In Nevada, the first atomic cannon was fired.
1961 America was asked by U.S. President Kennedy to work
toward putting a man on the moon before the end of the decade.
1970 Boeing Computer Services was founded.
1977 An opinion piece by Vietnam verteran Jan Scruggs appeared
in "The Washington Post." The article called for a national
memorial to "remind an ungrateful nation of what it has done
to its sons" that had served in the Vietnam War.
1979 An American Airlines DC-10 crashed during takeoff at
Chicago's O'Hare International Airport. 275 people were killed.
1981 Daredevil Daniel Goodwin scaled Chicago's Sears Tower,
while wearing a "Spiderman" costume, in 7 1/2 hours.
1985 Bangladesh was hit with a hurricane and tidal wave that
killed more than 11,000 people.
1997 Poland adopted a constitution that removed all traces
of communism.
2001 Erik Weihenmeyer, 32, of Golder, CO, became the first blind
climber to reach the summit of Mount Everest.
2008 NASA's Phoenix Mars Lander landed in the arctic plains
of Mars.
2009 North Korea announced that it had conducted a second
successful nuclear test in the province of North Hamgyong.
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Email not getting through
Friday, May 24, 2013, 12:16 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, May 24.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Thursday it snowed. By mid-afternoon we had 10 cm (4").
Then the wind shifted and the snowing turned into an icy rain.
The temperature rose, though, and by 8:30 it was 3 -4 degrees
above freezing, and the rain washed most of the snow away in
a big hurry.
I really don't like horizontal rain on my glasses, so I dug
out the umbrella, that I had bought years ago at the Dollar
Store. Here it's not like Vancouver, where every store and
restaurant has a pile of forgotten umbrellas and gladly give
you some. "Are you sure you only left one? We got TONS!"
Actually, I have not been in Vancouver for many years, and
don't know if things are still the same.
So i went for a walk with my totally untried Dollar Store
umbrella and was pleasantly surprised. It handled the rain
and wind without any problems.
The smooth grip, though, has no class. I intend to change
that with either hockey tape or vulcanizing tape, whichever
I find first in the garage.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed
in overalls and looks like work.
--- Thomas A. Edison (1847 - 1931)
One of the world's greatest scientists was also recognized
as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board
a train, he was unable to find his ticket.
The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it."
When the conductor returned, the professor still couldn't
find the ticket. The conductor, recognizing the famous
scientist, said, "I'm sure you bought a ticket. Forget
about it."
"You're very kind," the professor said, "but I must find it,
otherwise I won't know where to get off. I forgot where
I am supposed to be going today!"
THE 30 MOST COMMON PC ISSUES AND
FIXES
This book includes the best solutions posted on the Internet
(blogs,forums,manuals,etc) combined with the 10 years of PC
repair experience of the author Sebastian Nesh. It can be
used anytime by anyone. No specialized knowledge required.
You don't need to be tech guy to use this book!
Get the
FIXES!
Thanks to Matt for bringing back this classinc:
HAVING MOM OVER FOR DINNER
You don't even have to be a mother to enjoy this one.
Bryan invited his mother over for dinner.
During the course of the meal, Bryan's mother couldn't
help but keep noticing how beautiful Bryan's roommate,
Jessica, was. Bryan's mother had long been suspicious
of a relationship between Bryan and Jessica, and this
had only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the
two react, Mother started to wonder if there was more
between Bryan and Jessica than met the eye.
Reading his mom's thoughts,
Bryan volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking,
but I assure you Jessica and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Jessica came to Bryan saying,
"Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been
unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle.
You don't suppose she took it, do you?"
Bryan said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll send her an
e-mail just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote:
Dear Mother:
I'm not saying that you "did"
take the gravy ladle from the house,
I'm not saying that you "did not"
take the gravy ladle.
But the fact remains that one has been missing
ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Bryan
Several days later, Bryan received an email from his
mother that read:
Dear Son:
I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Jessica,
and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with
Jessica.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping
in her own bed, she would have found the gravy
ladle by now.
Love,
Mom
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Taylor Powers, 21, Colorado
Rescued Off Colorado Mountain After
Getting High On Mushrooms,
Stripping Off Her Clothes
Reported by The Smoking Gun
Taylor Powers.
The college student, 21, had to be rescued yesterday
afternoon off a Colorado mountain after she ingested
mushrooms, stripped off her clothes, and scuffled with
two male classmates, with whom she had been hiking.
After receiving a 911 call that a female hiker was
“high on mushrooms and in distress,” Boulder County
Sheriff’s Office deputies and other assorted rescue
personnel (35 in total) responded to Chautauqua Park.
Powers, seen above, was located by a park ranger right
where they had told him they were. He discovered that
the University of Colorado undergrad had
“removed all of her clothing and was being restrained”
by two male companions. Rescuers had to handcuff the
unruly Powers, who struggled as she was placed in a
rescue basket.
Cited for unlawful consumption of a controlled substance,
Powers was transported to a Boulder hospital, where she
was treated and released last night.
“Further charges are pending against others involved,”
deputies reported.
I wonder if the bonehead award should really go to
the two clowns, who could not cope with her freaking out,
a common occurrence with mushrooms,
or whoever decided to send 35 "Rescuers" to pick up
one stoned hippie girl at a known location.
Tech Support Pits
From: Alice
Re: Mail not getting through
Dear Webby
I am sending this from a friend's computer, because mail
from my computer does not seem to get through to anybody.
What could be the cause of that? My regualr address is
alicer@...
Alice
Dear Alice
The reason your mail is blocked by everybody is because
you use an autoresponder. That makes you look like a silly
moron and a nuisance, and your address gets blacklisted.
Most spam control programs recognize autoresponders,
automatically dump mails from them and blacklist that
address.
Get rid of that dumb autoresponder and change your
address. Most likely some of your friends will forgive
you for having annoyed them with an autoresponder.
Keep in mind, the whole county knows, that you leave
the office at quarter to five, and when they send you
a late night joke for the next morning, they really
don't need a silly auto-responder telling them, that
you are out of the office.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Removing Stains on Formica
To remove a stain on your Formica counter top,
just slather a thick amount of dish washing
detergent over it and let it sit for several
hours, then wipe it up. The detergent seems
to draw the stain into it. I discovered this
by accident and it works over 90% of the time.
By Ramona from Ocala, FL
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Grow food with a minimum amount of work
in a minimum amount of space with
Food4Wealth.
Absolutely everything you need to know to grow
healthy,
fresh organic food, without all the problems.
Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable.
It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to
understand. This package includes a fully illustrated
step by step manual, PLUS AudioBook and over
60 minutes of video.
Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard,
and stop worrying about harmful chemicals!
Get Food4Wealth Now!
60 day money back guarantee!
Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding
a bloody 5-iron standing over an unconscious man. The detective
asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?"
"Yes" says the woman.
"Did you hit him with that golf club?"
"Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club,
and puts her hands on her face.
"How many times did you hit him?"
"I don't know, five, six, maybe seven times.....
put me down for a five."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
The minister was shaking everyone's hand while they were
leaving the church. An elderly man shook his hand and said,
"Reverend, that was the worst sermon I've ever listened to.
It was terrible."
As the minister stood there dumbfounded, the old man's wife
stepped in, trying to help. "Please don't pay any attention
to him, pastor. He slept through it all and only repeats
what he hears others say."
Today, May 24, in
1543 Nicolaus Copernicus published proof of a sun-centered
solar system.
1607 Captain Christopher Newport and 105 followers found
the colony of Jamestown at the mouth of the James River
on the coast of Virginia.
1624 After years of unprofitable operation Virginia’s
charter was revoked and it became a royal colony.
1689 The English Parliament passed Act of Toleration,
protecting Protestants. Roman Catholics were specifically
excluded from exemption.
1764 Bostonian lawyer James Otis denounced "taxation without
representation" and called for the colonies to unite in
demonstrating their opposition to Britain’s new tax measures.
1798 Believing that a French invasion of Ireland was
imminent, Irish nationalists rose up against the British
occupation.
1830 The first passenger railroad service in the U.S.
began service.
1844 Samuel F.B. Morse formally opened America's first
telegraph line. The first message was sent from
Washington, DC, to Baltimore, MD. The message was
"What hath God wrought?"
1878 The first American bicycle race was held in Boston.
1883 After 14 years of construction the Brooklyn Bridge
was opened to traffic.
1930 Amy Johnson became the first woman to fly from
England to Australia.
1941 The HMS Hood was sunk by the German battleship Bismarck
in the North Atlantic. Only three people survived.
1954 The first moving sidewalk in a railroad station was
opened in Jersey City, NJ.
1976 Britain and France opened trans-Atlantic Concorde
service to Washington.
1994 The four men convicted of bombing the New York's
World Trade Center were each sentenced to 240 years
in prison.
1999 39 miners were killed in an underground gas
explosion in the Ukraine.
2000 Five people were killed and two others wounded
when two gunmen entered a Wendy's restaurant in Flushing,
Queens, New York. The gunmen tied up the victims in the
basement and then shot them.
2000 The U.S. House of Representatives approved permanent
normal trade relations with China.
2000 A Democratic Party event for Al Gore in Washington
brought in $26.5 million. The amount set a new record.
2001 Temba Tsheri, 15, became the youngest person to reach the summit of Mount Everest.
2013 smiled
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How many megapixel should a camera have?
Thursday, May 23, 2013, 11:55 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, May 23.
The Griffiths Center, local hosting clients, needed an extra
volunteer to go count money at a band casino in Calgary.
The casino makes a generous donation to the Griffiths Center
in exchange for two days, two shifts of six people each day.
Last year apparently they donated $40,000.
I thought it would be interesting so I volunteered. It sure
was interesting to see the secure area of the casino, the
carts with the money boxes, and the counting operation.
My job, because it was a first for me, was to sort the
money from one box at a time into 5s, 10, 20s, 50s and
hundreds, and put the stacks into glass racks.
The next guy ran each stack through a counting machine,
the woman next to him punched the result into a computer
and passed that stack on to the next couple, who repeated
the process.
Easy work, and a great way to get some funds for the
Griffiths Senior Center. They are at http://griffithscenter.com
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
"Aim for success not perfection...
Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism.
Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to
be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier
and more productive person."
--- Dr. David Burns
Thanks to Shirley for this report:
You may not know this but many non living things have a
gender.
Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in,
but you can see right through them.
Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a
while to warm them up again. It's an effective
reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but
can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-
inflated.
A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go
anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of
course, there's the hot air part.
Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable
and retain water.
A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.
A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to
pick people up.
An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight
shifts to the bottom.
A Hammer is Male , because it hasn't changed much over
the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male ,
didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure,
he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know
the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!
THE 30 MOST COMMON PC ISSUES AND
FIXES
This book includes the best solutions posted on the Internet
(blogs,forums,manuals,etc) combined with the 10 years of PC
repair experience of the author Sebastian Nesh. It can be
used anytime by anyone. No specialized knowledge required.
You don't need to be tech guy to use this book!
Get the
FIXES!
A husband, the owner of a new car, was somewhat reluctant
to allow his wife to drive his prize possession even to the
grocery store which was a few blocks from the house.
After she insisted, he finally relented, cautioning her as
she departed, "Remember, if you have an accident,
the newspaper will print your age."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Selena Velasquez, 17, Albuquerque, N.M.
Jailed After Threatening To Cry Rape
Unless Man Pays $500 Per Week
Reported by The Weekly vice
Selena Velasquez, a 17-year-old New Mexico woman, has
been jailed after she allegedly had consensual sex with
a 43-year-old man, then threatened to file rape charges
if he didn't pay her $500 per week.
According to state police, Velasquez was at a Cinco de Mayo
party in Pecos earlier this month when she met a 43-year-old
man and had consensual sex with him.
After the encounter, Velasquez allegedly told the man that
she would report the sex as rape if he didn't pay her $500
every Friday for three consecutive weeks.
Investigators say Velasquez made matters worse by visiting
the man's work uninvited, repeatedly texting him and
threatening to harm him and his daughter.
After reporting the blackmailing scheme to police,
investigators directed the victim to call Velasquez and
agree to her demands while they monitored the call.
The victim agreed to meet Velasquez at a local Walmart where
he was to make the first $500 payment. When Valesquez showed
up to collect payment and accepted an envelope filled with
fake money, officers pounced.
During questioning, Valesquez reportedly admitted to having
consensual sex with the man. She was taken to jail shortly
thereafter.
She was booked into the Santa Fe County Juvenile Detention
Center and charged with felony extortion. She was released
on Monday.
The man was not charged in the case because the age of
consent in New Mexico is 16.
Tech Support Pits
From: Shanya
Re: Megapixels
Dear Webby,
How important is the number of Megapixels of a camera?
Aren't five of them enough?
Shanya
Dear Shanya
Megapixels are only relevant when comparing cameras
of the same maker. The number of megapixels is less
important to me than their size and depth. I can
take much better pictures with a 2 Megapixel Canon
than with a 12 Megapixel HP, and reach much
further into the dark.
Even if you compare Canon cameras, a Rebel EOS T3
has very impressive data, and a big, heavy lens.
Theoretically one should be able to take fantastic pictures
with that heavy klunker. Actually, in real life, it is
a fussy nuisance, and even though it has a big lens,
it requires a lot of light for a decent picture.
A professional can make good use of it, but
most amateurs probably won't be that happy in spite
of the very impressive data.
The Rebel EOS T3 is an affordable PRO camera.
For casual every day use, go for a Canon PowerShot.
It produces fantastic pictures, even
though the data are not really that impressive.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Natural Mosquito Repellent
For insect repellent, essential oils such as clover,
citronella, eucalyptus, peppermint, lavender, cedar and
lemon grass repel bugs naturally. In a spray bottle,
combine 1 1/2 tsp. essential oils per cup of vodka.
Apply jojoba oil or almond oil to skin before spraying.
By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Grow food with a minimum amount of work
in a minimum amount of space with
Food4Wealth.
Absolutely everything you need to know to grow
healthy,
fresh organic food, without all the problems.
Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable.
It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to
understand. This package includes a fully illustrated
step by step manual, PLUS AudioBook and over
60 minutes of video.
Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard,
and stop worrying about harmful chemicals!
Get Food4Wealth Now!
60 day money back guarantee!
An elderly husband and wife noticed they were beginning to
forget little things around the house. They were afraid that
this could be dangerous so they decided to go see a doctor
to get some help.
Their doctor told them that many people their age find it
useful to write themselves little notes as reminders. This
seemed like an excellent idea.
When they got home, the wife said, "Honey, will you please
go to the kitchen and get me a dish of ice cream? Why don't
you write that down so you won't forget?"
"Nonsense," said the husband, "I can remember a dish of ice
cream!"
"I'd also like some strawberries on it. You better write that
down, because I know you'll forget."
"Don't be silly," replied the husband. "A dish of ice cream
and some strawberries. I can remember that!"
"OK, dear, but I'd like you to put some whipped cream on top.
Now you'd really better write it down now. You'll forget,"
said the wife.
"No problem, ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream."
With that, the husband shut the kitchen door behind him. The
wife could hear him getting out pots and pans and making lots
of noise. He emerged from the kitchen about 15 minutes later.
Walking over to his wife, he presented her with a plate of
bacon and eggs. The wife took one look at the plate, glanced
up at her husband and said, "Where's the toast? I TOLD you
to write it down!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
During the "rush hour" at Houston Airport, a flight was
delayed due to a mechanical problem.
Since they needed the gate for another flight, the aircraft
was backed away from the gate while the maintenance crew
worked on it. The passengers were then told the new gate
number, which was some distance away. Everyone moved to
the new gate, only to find a third gate had been designated
for them.
After some further shuffling, everyone got on board, and
as they were settling in, the flight attendant made the
standard announcement, "We apologize for the inconvenience
of this last-minute gate change. This flight is going to
Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C.
you should 'deplane' at this time."
A very confused-looking and red-faced pilot emerged from the
cockpit, carrying his bags. "Sorry," he said, wrong plane."
Today, May 23, in
1430 Joan of Arc was captured by Burgundians.
She was then sold to the English.
1533 Henry VIII’s marriage to Catherine of Aragon was
declared null and void.
1618 The Thirty Years War began when three opponents of
the Reformation were thrown through a window.
1701 In London, Captain William Kidd was hanged after
being convicted of murder and piracy.
1785 Benjamin Franklin wrote in a letter that he had
invented bifocals.
1873 Canada's North West Mounted Police force was
established. The organization's name was changed to
Royal Canadian Mounted Police in 1920.
1915 During World War I, Italy changed sides to join
the Allies as they declared war on Austria-Hungary.
1934 In Bienville Parish, LA, Bonnie Parker and Clyde
Barrow were ambushed and killed by Texas Rangers.
The bank robbers were riding in a stolen Ford Deluxe.
1945 In Luneburg Germany, Heinrich Himmler, the head
of the Nazi Gestapo, committed suicide while
imprisoned by the Allied forces.
1949 The Republic of West Germany was established.
1960 Israel announced the capture of Nazi Adolf Eichmann
in Argentina.
1981 In Barcelona, Spain, gunmen seized control of the
Central Bank and took 200 hostages.
1985 Thomas Patrick Cavanagh was sentenced to life in prison
for trying to sell Stealth bomber secrets to the Soviet Union.
1995 The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City
was demolished.
1998 British Protestants and Irish Catholics of Northern
Ireland approved a peace accord.
1999 In Kansas City, MO, Owen Hart (Blue Blazer) died when
he fell 90 feet while being lowered into a WWF wrestling ring.
1999 Gerry Bloch, at age 81, became the oldest climber to scale
El Capitan in Yosemite National Park. He broke his own record
that he set in 1986 when he was 68 years old.
2013 smiled
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Post-It-Notes for the computer
Wednesday, May 22, 2013, 08:03 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, May 22.
Thank you Evelyn!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The problems we face today exist because the people
who work for a living are outnumbered by those who
vote for a living.
--- Marcus Tullius Cicero, 106 BC - 43 BC
>From Ida
For years my husband denied he was an aggressive driver.
That changed one day when we were out for a ride with our
three-year-old, Matthew. Seeing a teaching opportunity, I
began quizzing Matthew about traffic lights.
"What does a red light mean?" I asked.
"Stop."
"How about green?"
"Go."
"And yellow?"
In his best impression of Daddy, Matthew bellowed,
"Haaaanng on!"
THE 30 MOST COMMON PC ISSUES AND
FIXES
This book includes the best solutions posted on the Internet
(blogs,forums,manuals,etc) combined with the 10 years of PC
repair experience of the author Sebastian Nesh. It can be
used anytime by anyone. No specialized knowledge required.
You don't need to be tech guy to use this book!
Get the
FIXES!
One morning the husband returns after several hours of
fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar
with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She
motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning,
Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you
could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and
write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual
assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any moment and get
your block knocked off." she said.
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Krystle Harrison, 19, Bradenton, Florida
Jailed for Biting Boyfriend's Penis
After He Turned Her Down For Sex
Reported by The Weekly vice
Krystle Harrison, a 19-year-old Florida woman, was jailed
last week after she allegedly took a bite out of her
boyfriend's penis after he turned her down for sex.
According to the Manatee County Sheriff's Office, Harrison
and her boyfriend were in bed when Harrison touched him in
a suggestive manner and told him that she was in the mood
for sex.
After the boyfriend had refused Harrison's request for sex
several times, Harrison retaliated by grabbing his penis
and then biting it.
Investigators say the boyfriend jumped out of bed and left
the residence, however, Harrison followed him through the
door and continued to argue with him outside.
When the boyfriend still refused to have sex, Harrison
slapped him in the face and then spit on him.
At some point during the argument, a tussle broke out
between the pair, resulting in scratch marks to the
victim's chest.
When deputies arrived on the scene and saw the victim's
injuries, they immediately took Harrison into custody.
She was booked into the Manatee County Jail and charged
with battery domestic violence. She was released after
posting $1,500 bond.
Tech Support Pits
From: Erin
Re: Computer Post-It notes
Dear Webby,
Years ago you mentioned post-it notes for the computer,
not the expensive paper ones, but virtual ones. Are they
still available? Where do I get them?
Erin
Dear Erin
Yes, 3M is still in business.
Try http://www.3m.com/psnotes
They have free versions and reasonably priced
professional versions. Unless you need to paste
notes onto your hubby's computer down in the basement
from yours up in the kitchen, you can probably just
use the free version.
You will be amazed at what you can do with even the
free version, like setting alarms, auto-hide and
auto-reveal, and so on.
They are also handy for a quick cratch-pad for stuff,
that does not merit a file.
Just like the paper post-it-notes 20 years ago, they
become quite indispensable quickly.
There are also the WebNotes at WebNotes
You create a work space on the cloud, and pop yellow notes.
Your work space is only as secure as the name you give it,
however, for casual stuff like shopping lists or picnic plans
or collaborative homework it is fine.
If you and your cohorts are familiar with RSS, you can arrange
it so that an RSS message pops on the desktops of all participants
whenever one of them edited a note or added a new one.
Load a work space by inventing a name.
For single use, just hit the little yellow rectangle at the
left top, and a note pops. Double-click in it.
There are 8 colors to choose.
Type into the note whatever you want.
The second icon from the left is for saving the work
space.
Drag the little icon on the left of the URL Address bar of
the browser onto your desktop.
Now you can close it, and whenever you want to go back to
your work space on the cloud, hit that desktop icon.
When you want somebody else to look at your notes, send them
the URL, that is in that desktop shortcut or on your web space,
for example http://www.aypwip.org/webnote/ErinTheFirst
Then they can read and edit your notes and add new ones.
Unlike the 3M Post-It-Notes, the Webnotes don't take graphics.
It's a really ancient program and when it was writen, plain
text notes were good enough. The main advantage of WebNotes
is the ability to share and collaborate over the net, and
not have all of FaceBook snicker and giggle about it.
They are also handy for sending passwords, registrations,
URLs etc. from your desktop to your laptop.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Any Oil To Quiet A Squeaky Door
Any kind of oil will fix a squeaky door. I was visiting
my young daughter a few years ago and one of her doors
was really squeaky. It was fairly early in the morning
and she was still asleep so I couldn't ask her what she
had to eliminate the problem. I went to her pantry and
picked up a can of Pam cooking spray and sprayed the
door hinges. It worked like a charm.
By Betty from Lubbock, TX
WD-40 is cheaper and does not attract dust.
It can be re-applied whenever necessary, unlike
PAM or cooking oils, which get hard and sticky
and squeak, and need to be taken apart and cleaned
with WD-40 or penetrating oil.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Grow food with a minimum amount of work
in a minimum amount of space with
Food4Wealth.
Absolutely everything you need to know to grow
healthy,
fresh organic food, without all the problems.
Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable.
It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to
understand. This package includes a fully illustrated
step by step manual, PLUS AudioBook and over
60 minutes of video.
Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard,
and stop worrying about harmful chemicals!
Get Food4Wealth Now!
60 day money back guarantee!
Thanks to Diane for this report:
I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I
got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start
exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired
for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on,
the class was over.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Internet
2) Telephone
3) Tellawoman!
Today, May 21, in
1246 Henry Raspe was elected anti-king by the Rhenish
prelates in France.
1455 King Henry VI was taken prisoner by the Yorkists at the
Battle of St. Albans, during the War of the Roses.
1570 Abraham Ortelius published the first modern atlas in Belgium.
1819 The steamship Savannah became the first to cross the
Atlantic Ocean.
1841 Henry Kennedy received a patent for the first reclining chair.
1849 Abraham Lincoln received a patent for the floating dry dock.
1868 Near Marshfield, IN, The "Great Train Robbery" took place.
The robbery was worth $96,000 in cash, gold and bonds to the
seven members of the Reno gang.
1872 The Amnesty Act restored civil rights to Southerners.
1882 The U.S. formally recognized Korea.
1891 The first public motion picture was given in Thomas Edison's lab.
1892 Dr. Sheffield, a British dentist, invented the toothpaste tube.
1908 The Wright brothers registered their flying machine for a U.S. patent.
1939 Adolf Hitler and Benito Mussolini signed a military alliance
between Germany and Italy known as the "Pact of Steel."
1955 A scheduled dance to be headlined by Fats Domino was canceled by
police in Bridgeport, Connecticut because "rock and roll dances might be featured."
1969 A lunar module of Apollo 10 flew within nine miles of the moon's surface.
The event was a rehearsal for the first lunar landing.
1972 The island Ceylon adopted a new constitution and became the
republic of Sri Lanka.
1990 Microsoft released Windows 3.0.
2002 Chandra Levy's remains were found in Washington, DC's Rock Creek Park.
She was last seen on April 30, 2001.
2013 smiled
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Tuesday, May 21, 2013, 04:23 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, May 21.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
You can't wait for inspiration.
You have to go after it with a club.
--- Jack London (1876 - 1916)
The anesthesiologist at the outpatient surgery
center often chatted with patients before their
operations to help them relax.
One day he thought he recognized a woman as a
co-worker at the VA hospital where he had trained.
When the patient confirmed that his hunch was
correct, he said,
"So, tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to
be?"
"Well," she replied, "I'm still cooking it."
THE 30 MOST COMMON PC ISSUES AND
FIXES
This book includes the best solutions posted on the Internet
(blogs,forums,manuals,etc) combined with the 10 years of PC
repair experience of the author Sebastian Nesh. It can be
used anytime by anyone. No specialized knowledge required.
You don't need to be tech guy to use this book!
Get the
FIXES!
"Congratulations my boy!" said the groom's uncle.
"I'm sure you'll look back and remember today as the
happiest day of your life."
"But I'm not getting married until tomorrow." protested
his nephew.
"I know," replied the uncle. "That's exactly what I mean."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Kassandra Martinez, 20, Dallas, Texas
Jailed After She Murdered Her Cousin
For Gas Money
Reported by The Weekly vice
Kassandra Martinez, a 20-year-old Dallas woman, was jailed
Sunday after she repeatedly ran over her cousin with her car
during an argument over gas money.
She then drove home to get some sleep - obviously tuckered
out from all that driving.
According to Dallas police, Martinez was at a club with her
cousin and her cousin's two sisters when the girls began
arguing about where to go next (home or out to eat somewhere).
Angry that she wasn't getting her way, Martinez left the club
alone with the girls' purses in the trunk of her car. The
three girls left behind at the club were forced to find a
ride from a friend who was also at the club.
During the ride home, the girls noticed that Martinez had
stopped off for gas at a local gas station, so they asked
the driver to stop and let them out so they could retrieve
their purses.
That's when Martinez reportedly began arguing with them,
demanding that they give her gas money. When the girls
refused, Martinez retorted "Well, if that's the way it is..."
before backing over her cousin who had been waiting at
the rear of the vehicle to get her purse.
After backing over the victim, Martinez then put the car
into drive and then drove over her cousin a second time.
Martinez then drove home to go to bed while her cousin,
identified as 24-year-old Yunel Aguilar, was rushed to
Parkland Memorial Hospital. She was pronounced dead a
short time later.
Surveillance video captured from the scene showed the
entire incident as it unfolded. Investigators were able
to use the video to identify Martinez's VW Passat, which
was found at her residence.
Martinez was arrested when Aguilar's mother called and
convinced her to come up to the hospital.
During a police interview, Martinez admitted that she did
not have a driver's license, but claimed that she was not
under the influence of drugs or alcohol when she ran over
her cousin.
Martinez was booked into jail and charged with murder. She
remains jailed in lieu of $150,000 bail.
Tech Support Pits
From: Neil
Re: Safe Magnifier
Dear Webby,
Here is a link to a virtual magnifying glass that is free, does not screw with anything on your desktop, is customizable and once again, free. I have used this magnifier since win98, and never had an issue.
http://magnifier.sourceforge.net/
Neil
Thanks, Neil!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Remembering to Use Coupons
Occasionally I have forgotten to use my coupons at the
checkout only to remember them when I get home. I've started
highlighting the items that I have coupons for on my shopping
list with bright neon highlighters, that way they constantly
jog my memory as I read my grocery list.
By mother of 5 from Canada
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Grow food with a minimum amount of work
in a minimum amount of space with
Food4Wealth.
Absolutely everything you need to know to grow
healthy,
fresh organic food, without all the problems.
Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable.
It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to
understand. This package includes a fully illustrated
step by step manual, PLUS AudioBook and over
60 minutes of video.
Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard,
and stop worrying about harmful chemicals!
Get Food4Wealth Now!
60 day money back guarantee!
A pretty girl asked the male clerk at a fabric counter,
"I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much
does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard, " he replied with a smirk.
"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten yards.
With anticipation written all over his face, the clerk
hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then
held it out teasingly.
The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little
old lady standing behind her.
"Grandma will pay the bill, "she smiled
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
Two youngsters were closely examining bathroom scales
on display at the department store.
"Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked.
"Yeah, my mom has one," the other replied.
"What's it for?"
"It's a cussing machine," the second boy answered.
"Every time she stands on it, she starts cussing and
throwing stuff."
Today, May 21, in
0996 Sixteen year old Otto III was crowned the Roman Emperor.
1471 King Henry VI was killed in the tower of London.
Edward IV took the throne.
1536 The Reformation was officially adopted in Geneva, CH
1602 Martha's Vineyard was first sighted by Captain
Bartholomew Gosnold.
1819 Bicycles were first seen in the U.S. in New York City.
They were originally known as "swift walkers."
1832 In the U.S., the Democratic Party held its first
national convention.
1840 New Zealand was declared a British colony.
1906 Louis H. Perlman received his patent for the demountable
tire-carrying rim.
1927 Charles A. Lindberg completed the first solo nonstop
airplane flight across the Atlantic Ocean. The trip began May 20.
1934 Oskaloosa, IA, became the first city in the U.S. to
fingerprint all of its citizens.
1956 The U.S. exploded the first airborne hydrogen bomb in the
Pacific Ocean over Bikini Atoll.
1968 The nuclear-powered U.S. submarine Scorpion, with 99 men
aboard, was last heard from. The remains of the sub were later
found on the ocean floor 400 miles southwest of the Azores.
1970 The National Guard was mobilized to quell disturbances at
Ohio State University.
1982 The British landed in the Falkland Islands and fighting began.
1998 An expelled student, Kipland Kinkel, in Springfield, OR,
killed 2 people and wounded 25 others with a semi-automatic
rifle. Police also discovered that the boy had killed his
parents before the rampage.
1998 In Miami, FL, five abortion clinics were hit by a
butyric acid-attacker.
2013 smiled
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Should you leave USB cables connected?
Monday, May 20, 2013, 09:41 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, May 20.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.
--- Franklin P. Adams (1881 - 1960)
Thanks to Penny for this one:
WOMAN SUES HOSPITAL
A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a woman,
one Anne Maynard, has sued St. Luke's Hospital, saying that
after her husband was treated there recently, he had lost
all interest in sex.
A hospital spokesman replied, "Mr. Maynard was actually
admitted into Ophthalmology - all we did was correct his
eyesight."
THE 30 MOST COMMON PC ISSUES AND
FIXES
This book includes the best solutions posted on the Internet
(blogs,forums,manuals,etc) combined with the 10 years of PC
repair experience of the author Sebastian Nesh. It can be
used anytime by anyone. No specialized knowledge required.
You don't need to be tech guy to use this book!
Get the
FIXES!
>From Davie
The supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts.
I intended to stock up. At the store, however, I was disappointed
to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry,
so I complained to the butcher lady.
"Don't worry," she said, "I'll pack some more trays and have
them ready for you by the time you finish shopping."
Several aisles later, I heard the lady butcher's voice boom
over the public-address system: "Will the gentleman who
wanted bigger breasts please meet me at the back of the
store."
Thanks to Sue in Saskatchewan for these pictures:
Click on the picture for the large version
Oriole
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Robert Golba, 55, Riverside Illinois
Jailed After Passing Out Drunk
On Top Of Mother, Trapping Her For Hours
Reported by The Weekly vice
Robert Golba, a 55-year-old Riverside drunk, was jailed
Thursday after he passed out drunk on top of his mother
- pinning her to the floor for hours.
According to Riverside Police, Golba became intoxicated
and then passed out on top of his 81-year-old mother.
The victim remained trapped under her son for several
hours before she was able to get relatives to call police.
When officers arrived on the scene, they found the victim
still lying on the kitchen floor with her legs entwined
with her son's legs as he slept.
Investigators say Golba was extremely combative when officers
woke him up and took him into custody. According to an order
of protection against him, he was not allowed to be inside
the residence while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
The victim was taken to Loyola University Medical Center,
where doctors told her that her hip was broken in three
places and required surgery.
Golba was taken to McNeal Hospital to be treated for
alcohol poisoning. He was charged with one count of
felony violation of order of protection.
Tech Support Pits
From: Sharon
Re: USB cables connected
Dear Webby,
Thanks for the fun letter today. The pic was very nice.
You do come up with some beautiful pics.
I finally did invest in a digital camera. Have just begun
to read the book.
I have 2 questions.
1) Would it be ok to connect the usb cable to the pc & leave
it plugged in even when not connected to the camera?
My connection is at the base of the pc which is on the floor
& it is sometimes difficult to get down to connect it.
2) I haven't tried sending the pic to the pc yet so I can
email them to family & friends but am curious as to what
size would good to send. Some pics I have received have
are so big they seem to take so long to download.
Any size suggestions?
Thanks so much for your help. This will be a new experience
for me.
Sharon
Dear Sharon
Dear Sharon
Yes, sure you can leave the cable plugged into the PC.
Just put the open end into a cup, in case any chips drip
out.
Just kidding about anything dripping out, but it's a good
idea to put the open end into an empty bud vase or a pencil
cup or anything that will securely hold it on the desk.
If it falls down on the floor and you drive over the cable
end with your chair, the cable is most likely ruined.
The best size for mailing pictures is the size I use in
the Humor Letter: 600 pixels wide.
You can always tell them that, if they want a bigger size
for printing it out, to specify what size they want.
If they are not going to print it out, then there is no
need to slow down the Internet with 3 acre pictures.
Once you have a web site, then you can use the same trick
as what I use, email a small pictrue with a click-through
link to a bigger one.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Pinesol To Keep Pests Away
Keep a spray bottle of half Pinesol/half water under your
sink spray outside garbage cans or anywhere you have a pest
problem. Animals like rodents, opossums, raccoons, etc.
don't like the smell.
By Renee NayNay H.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Grow food with a minimum amount of work
in a minimum amount of space with
Food4Wealth.
Absolutely everything you need to know to grow
healthy,
fresh organic food, without all the problems.
Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable.
It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to
understand. This package includes a fully illustrated
step by step manual, PLUS AudioBook and over
60 minutes of video.
Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard,
and stop worrying about harmful chemicals!
Get Food4Wealth Now!
60 day money back guarantee!
In front of a delicatessen, an art connoisseur noticed a
mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The
saucer, he realized with a start, was a rare and precious
piece of pottery.
He strolled into the store and offered two dollars for the
cat. "It's not for sale," said the proprietor.
"Look," said the collector, "that cat is dirty and
undesirable, but I'm eccentric. I like cats that way.
I'll raise my offer to fifty dollars."
"It's a deal," said the proprietor, and pocketed the fifty
on the spot.
"For that sum I'm sure you won't mind throwing in the
saucer," said the connoisseur. "The kitten seems so
happy drinking from it."
"Nothing doing," said the proprietor firmly as he swiftly
grabbed the saucer and put it into the sink.
"That's my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far
this week I've sold 34 stray cats."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement
that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly
realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.
Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth!"
The man said, "No problem." With that he reached into his pocket
and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said.
The speaker tried them. "Thanks, but they're too loose," he said.
The man then said, "I have another pair...try these."
The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight."
The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more
pair... try them."
The speaker said, "They fit perfectly!" With that he ate his meal
and gave his address.
After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank
the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my
aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist."
The man replied, "Oh I'm not a dentist. I work at the morgue.."
Today, May 20, in
0325 - The Ecumenical council was inaugurated by Emperor
Constantine in Nicea, Asia Minor.
1303 A peace treaty was signed between England and France
over the town of Gascony.
1506 In Spain, Christopher Columbus died in poverty.
1520 Hernando Cortez defeated Spanish troops that had been
sent to punish him in Mexico.
1690 England passed the Act of Grace, forgiving followers
of James II.
1674 John Sobieski became Poland’s first King.
1774 Britain's Parliament passed the Coercive Acts to
punish the American colonists for their increasingly
anti-British behavior
1775 North Carolina became the first colony to declare
its independence. This is the date that is on the George
state flag even though the date of this event has been
questioned.
1784 The Peace of Versailles ended a war between France,
England, and Holland.
1830 The fountain pen was patented by H.D. Hyde.
1861 North Carolina became the eleventh state to secede from the Union.
1861 During the American Civil War, the capital of the
Confederacy was moved from Montgomery, AL, to Richmond, VA.
1874 Levi Strauss began marketing blue jeans with copper rivets.
1899 Jacob German of New York City became the first driver to
be arrested for speeding. The posted speed limit was 12 miles
per hour.
1902 The U.S. military occupation of Cuba ended.
1902 Cuba gained its independence from Spain.
1926 The U.S. Congress passed the Air Commerce Act. The act
gave the Department of Commerce the right to license pilots
and planes.
1927 Charles Lindbergh took off from New York to cross the
Atlantic for Paris aboard his airplane the "Spirit of St. Louis."
The trip took 33 1/2 hours.
1930 The first airplane was catapulted from a dirigible.
1932 Amelia Earhart took off to fly solo across the Atlantic
Ocean. She became the first woman to achieve the feat.
1941 Germany invaded Crete by air.
1942 Japan completed the conquest of Burma.
1949 DearWebby was born in Rankweil, Austria
1961 A white mob attacked the Freedom Riders in Montgomery, AL.
The event prompted the federal government to send U.S. marshals.
1969 U.S. and South Vietnamese forces captured Apbia Mountain,
which was referred to as Hamburger Hill.
1970 100,000 people marched in New York supporting U.S. policies
in Vietnam.
1978 Mavis Hutchinson, at age 53, became the first woman to run
across America. It took Hutchinson 69 days to run the 3,000 miles.
1990 The Hubble Space Telescope sent back its first photographs.
1993 The final episode of "Cheers" was aired on NBC-TV.
1996 The U.S. Supreme Court struck down a Colorado measure
banning laws that would protect homosexuals from discrimination.
2010 Scientists announced that they had created a funtional
synthetic genome.
2010 Five paintings worth 100 million Euro were stolen from the Musée d'Art Moderne de la Ville de Paris.
2013 smiled
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How do you find lost shortcut icons?
Sunday, May 19, 2013, 11:27 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, May 19.
Thanks, Alfred!
Tomorrow we have a stat holiday in Canada. The Monday
closest to my birthday is celebrated with a day off for
cleaning and starting the BBQ after it was allowed to get
dusty and rusty all winter, an increase in gas prices to
coincide with the start of towing boats around, and frantic
shopping for larger size swimwear. Apparently that stuff
shrinks when not worn at least once a week.
It is also the official birthday of the Queen, but few people
remember that she celebrates her birthday on the Monday
closest to my birthday.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Never fight an inanimate object.
--- P. J. O'Rourke
A teenage girl shopped at the mall and stopped at the
perfume counter.
She sees, "My Sin", "Desire", and "Ecstasy".
She says to the salesperson, "I don't want to get emotionally
involved or knocked up. I just want to smell nice."
THE 30 MOST COMMON PC ISSUES AND
FIXES
This book includes the best solutions posted on the Internet
(blogs,forums,manuals,etc) combined with the 10 years of PC
repair experience of the author Sebastian Nesh. It can be
used anytime by anyone. No specialized knowledge required.
You don't need to be tech guy to use this book!
Get the
FIXES!
One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were
first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me
the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller;
You don't love me any more..."
"Nonsense, darling," replied the husband, "you just cook better now."
Thanks to dad for this picture:
Click on the picture for the large version
Queen of the night
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Stephanie Redus, 29, Huffman, TX
Pregnant Woman Puts Toddler Son Up
For Adoption On Craigslist
Reported by The Weekly vice
Stephanie Redus, a 29-year-old Huffman woman, has been jailed
after she allegedly posted an ad on Craigslist seeking a person
who could adopt her toddler son.
According to Houston Police, Redus posted the ad on May 1st,
stating that she couldn't properly care for her son and was
"desperate" to find someone who could.
The message Redus posted is as follows:
"Hi, I am trying to adopt out my three-year-old son. I'm not
in a good place in my life and I don't feel like I can care
for him properly, but I don't know where to start. If you or
know anyone who is interested in caring for him please let
me know. I'm a single mom and can't do this.
Thanks, Desperate."
An officer found the posted ad and instead of advising her
to start with a visit to Social Services, responded to it
posing as an interested party. Redus reportedly wrote back
and explained that she was looking for someone to adopt
her child because she is currently pregnant and unable to
take medication that treats her depression and anxiety.
Investigators obtained a subpeona for the website and
identified Redus as the person who posted the ad.
During a police interview, Redus admitted to placing the
ad but stated that she never intended to go through with it.
She claimed to have spoken with one other interested party.
During the conversation she asked the respondent if he/she
had any other children and requested that they send her
pictures of their home.
Redus was booked into jail and charged with misdemeanor
advertising for placement of a child. She was freed after
posting $1,000 bail.
The child was taken into protective custody and then placed
with his father.
Do-It-Yourself adoption behind the back of Social Services
is strictly against the law. Going through them apparently
is quick and easy, because they have huge waiting lists of
people, who are checked out and eligible to adopt kids.
Tech Support Pits
From: Edana
Re: How do you find lost icons?
Dear Webby
I was intrigued by your seemingly hateful comments about
the Windows Magnifier, and thought, 'Ol DerWebby is just
miffed about Microsoft murdering XP, just so that they can
sell 4 and 8 GB computers'.
So I tried it, since I have less than a hundred icons on
my desktop anyway.
Well, slap me with wet noodles and bean me with a chamber
pot! You were way too diplomatic about that @#$%^&*@#$%!!!!!
I have eventually found most icons again and drug them to
where they are supposed to be, but some of them seem to be
totally missing. Is there a way to make them light up or
show targets like the cursor does, when you hit CTRL?
When I try making a new shortcut with the same name,
it says there is already one with that name. But it does
not tell me where!
How do I find the lost shortcut icons?
And DON'T tell me to sort them alphabetically and trash
by careful thematic order!
Edana
Dear Edana
You can't.
The lost icons may be outside the visible margin, or there
might be some other malfunction going on.
Just make a new shortcut and giveit a slightly different name,
IF the original shows up again in a year or whenever, then you
can dump the second one.
You can also make new, high visibility icons. There are lots
of free utilities available for making icons. The trick is to
NOT get cutesy or artistic, but shoot for maximum visibility.
Assign a color for each major theme, then use tha color as the
background, and use a letter in a contrasting color on that
background. You don't have to stick to prime colors, as long
as what you use is contrasting.
If you need a program to make icons, write me and I'll send
you the one, that I have been using for about 20 years.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Using a Peeling George Foreman Grill
I really enjoy my little George Foreman grill, but the
Teflon is peeling. I use a piece of lightweight tin foil,
big enough to fold over the meat and spray it lightly with
oil. Clean-up is a breeze, I just toss the foil afterward.
By shirley dobie
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Grow food with a minimum amount of work
in a minimum amount of space with
Food4Wealth.
Absolutely everything you need to know to grow
healthy,
fresh organic food, without all the problems.
Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable.
It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to
understand. This package includes a fully illustrated
step by step manual, PLUS AudioBook and over
60 minutes of video.
Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard,
and stop worrying about harmful chemicals!
Get Food4Wealth Now!
60 day money back guarantee!
For a holiday, an Irishman decided to go to
Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and
climb the Matterhorn.
He hired a guide and just as they neared
the top, the men were caught in a snow slide.
Three hours later, a Saint Bernard ploughed
through to them, a keg of brandy tied under
his chin.
"Hooray!" shouted the guide. "Here comes
man's best friend!"
"Aye," said the Irishman. "An' look at
the size of the dog that's bringin' it!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a
restaurant; first, he'd asked that the air conditioning be
turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be
turned down because he was too cold, and so on for
about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he nodded and
walked back and forth and never once got angry.
So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn't
throw the pest out.
"Oh I don't care," the waiter said with a smile. "We don't
have an air conditioner anyway."
Today, May 18, in
1536 Anne Boleyn, the second wife of England's King Henry VIII,
was beheaded after she was convicted of adultery.
1568 After being defeated by the Protestants, Mary the Queen of Scots,
fled to England where she was imprisoned by Queen Elizabeth.
1588 The Spanish Armada set sail from Lisbon, bound for England.
1608 The Protestant states formed the Evangelical Union of
Lutherans and Calvinists.
1643 Delegates from four New England colonies met in Boston
to form a confederation.
1643 The French army defeated a Spanish army at Rocroi, France.
1796 The first U.S. game law was approved. The measure called
for penalties for hunting or destroying game within
Indian territory.
1847 The first English-style railroad coach was placed in
service on the Fall River Line in Massachusetts.
1857 The electric fire alarm system was patented by William
F. Channing and Moses G. Farmer.
1911 The first American criminal conviction that was based on
fingerprint evidence occurred in New York City.
1926 Thomas Edison spoke on the radio for the first time.
1926 Benito Mussolini announced that democracy was deceased.
Rome became a fascist state.
1926 In Damascus, Syria, French shells killed 600 people.
1935 T.E. Lawrence "Lawrence of Arabia" died from injuries in a
motorcycle crash in England.
1958 Canada and the U.S. formally established the North American
Air Defense Command.
1962 Marilyn Monroe performed a sultry rendition of "Happy Birthday"
for U.S. President John F. Kennedy. The event was a fund-raiser at
New York's Madison Square Garden.
1964 The U.S. State Department reported that diplomats had found
about 40 microphones planted in the U.S. Embassy in Moscow.
1967 The Soviet Union ratified a treaty with the United States and
Britain that banned nuclear weapons from outer space.
1967 U.S. planes bombed Hanoi for the first time.
1988 In Jacksonville, FL, Carlos Lehder Rivas was convicted of
smuggling more than three tons of cocaine into the United States.
Rivas was the co-founder of Colombia's Medellin drug cartel.
1992 In Massapequa, NY, Mary Jo Buttafuoco was shot and
seriously wounded by Amy Fisher. Fisher was her husband Joey's
teen-age lover.
1992 The 27th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution went into effect.
The amendment prohibits Congress from giving itself midterm
pay raises.
1998 In Russia, strikes broke out over unpaid wages.
1999 "Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace" was released in the
U.S. It set a new record for opening day sales at 28.5 million.
2003 It was announced that Worldcom Inc. would pay investors
$500 million to settle civil fraud charges over its
$11 billion accounting scandal.
2003 Hundreds of Albert Einstein's scientific papers, personal
letters and humanist essays were make available on the Internet.
Einstein had given the papers to the Hebrew Universtiy of
Jerusalem in his will.
2005 "Star Wars: Episode III Revenge of the Sith" brought in
50.0 million in its opening day.
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How to add pictures to email
Saturday, May 18, 2013, 11:53 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, May 17.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
University politics are vicious precisely
because the stakes are so small.
--- Henry Kissinger
Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good.
It would be the end of everything we know.
--- Marvin Minsky
>From Dave
I worked in the biology department at Buffalo State College
in New York. The Great Lakes Laboratory, also stationed at
the college, employed a licensed boat captain to man its
research vessel. It was common knowledge that the captain
couldn't swim. When newcomers learned of this, they would
approach him about it.
"Is it true?" one of them asked incredulously.
"You, a boat captain, can't swim?"
"No, I can't," he replied. "Can pilots fly?"
THE 30 MOST COMMON PC ISSUES AND
FIXES
This book includes the best solutions posted on the Internet
(blogs,forums,manuals,etc) combined with the 10 years of PC
repair experience of the author Sebastian Nesh. It can be
used anytime by anyone. No specialized knowledge required.
You don't need to be tech guy to use this book!
Get the
FIXES!
A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit.
So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured
for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting.
He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that
in this suit he can do business.
As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he
reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his
surprise he noticed that there were no pockets. He
mentioned this to the tailor who asked him,
"Didn't you tell me you were a banker?"
The young man answered, "Yes, I did."
To this the tailor said, "Who ever heard of a banker
with his hands in his own pockets?"
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Amanda Brennan, 24, Henderson, Nevada
Jailed for Luring Student Into
Inappropriate Relationship
Reported by The Weekly vice
Amanda Brennan, a 24-year-old English teacher at Foothill
High School, was jailed Friday after she allegedly engaged
in an inappropriate relationship with an underage student.
According to police, an investigation was launched after
the parents of a 15-year-old student contacted a school
resource officer and reported that Brennan was pursuing
an inappropriate relationship with their son.
The boy's parents were further aggravated when Brennan
picked the student up from their home and took him to the
movies against their wishes. She also reportedly brought
the boy back home AFTER his scheduled curfew.
When investigators interviewed the student, he told them
that he and Brennan loved each other and had kissed and
cuddled in the backseat of her car.
Detectives also discovered that Brennan and the boy had
exchanged more than 1,000 text messages over a 9 day period.
Brennan reportedly admitted to taking the student out and
communicating with him outside of school. She went on to
say that she knew the relationship was wrong, but loved the
student and did it anyway. She was immediately placed under
arrest.
She was booked into the Clark County Detention Center and
charged with two counts of luring a child and one count of
contributing to the delinquency of a minor. Her bail has
been set at $20,000.
Is punishment too casual, or are teachers getting dumber?
Tech Support Pits
From: Bill
Re: How do you get pictures into email?
Dear Webby
Since almost everybody does it, it must be fairly simple.
How do I get pictures from FaceBook into email?
Bill
Dear Bill
First you have to harvest the picture and store it on your
computer. Click the picture you want. Chances are good,
that it will open in a fresh page with less distraction.
RIGHT-click te picture and select
Copy Image.
Now you have the picture in the Clipboard memory, and you
can paste it from there into an email,
or into any graphics program.
Click into an already started email at the spot, where
you want that picture, and hit CTRL V to paste it.
If you want to save the picture, so that you can look at
your grand kids without going online and searching for
that picture on FaceBook, open any graphics program,
and hit CTRL V to paste it as a new picture.
Now you can save it by hitting ALT F A, or clicking
on FILE
Save As
typing in a name, and browse to a folder, that you can
find easily. You can even make brand new folders at the
same time.
By default Windows wants to hide your pictures deep down
in a wacky labyrith of subdirectories.
No, I don't know what they were smoking.
Luckily you can browse around in there and go up to the
C:\ root directory.
Make a New Folder there and call it !PIX
The exclamation mark at the front of it will ensure, that
in any alphabetical sort, it will be on top and easy to find.
If all this sounds intimidating, don't worry. We all had
to learn that, and once you have done it a few times, it
starts making sense and is actually quite easy.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Dryer Lint For Fire Starting
Save the lint from the dryer in a plastic container.
In the winter months when the wood for the fire gets
a little damp, use the lint under the kindling to
get it started. Works great!
By korlund
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Grow food with a minimum amount of work
in a minimum amount of space with
Food4Wealth.
Absolutely everything you need to know to grow
healthy,
fresh organic food, without all the problems.
Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable.
It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to
understand. This package includes a fully illustrated
step by step manual, PLUS AudioBook and over
60 minutes of video.
Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard,
and stop worrying about harmful chemicals!
Get Food4Wealth Now!
60 day money back guarantee!
Bank robbers had tied and gagged the bank cashier after
learning the combination to the safe and had herded the
other employees into a separate room under guard.
After they rifled the safe and were about to leave, the
cashier made desperate pleading noises through the gag.
Moved by curiosity, one of the burglars loosed the gag.
"Please," whispered the cashier, "take the books, too.
I'm $7,500 short."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
The father of a teenage daughter was concerned with the
amount of time she spent on the telephone; not so much for
the time she wasted (he had given up on that long ago),
but because nobody else could use the phone.
So, as a happy solution, he had a telephone installed for
her with her own private number and directory listing.
Two or three days after her telephone had been installed,
he came home to find her stretched out on the floor with
her feet on the living room couch and chatting away on the
family telephone. Her own telephone was resting silently
on her dresser. "Why are you using our telephone," he
yelled. "Why aren't you talking on your own telephone?"
"I can't," she said, "I'm expecting an important call on my
phone."
Today, May 18, in
1302 The weaver Peter de Coningk led a massacre of the
Flemish oligarchs.
1642 Montreal, Canada, was founded.
1643 Queen Anne, the widow of Louis XIII, was granted sole
and absolute power as regent by the Paris parliament,
overriding the late king's will.
1792 Russian troops invaded Poland.
1802 Great Britain declared war on Napoleon's France.
1804 Napoleon Bonaparte was proclaimed emperor by the French
Senate.
1917 The U.S. Congress passed the Selective Service act,
which called up soldiers to fight in World War I.
1944 Monte Cassino, Europe's oldest Monastic house, was finally
captured by the Allies in Italy.
1974 India became the sixth nation to explode an atomic bomb.
1980 Mt. Saint Helens erupted in Washington state. 57 people
were killed and 3 billion in damage was done.
1983 The U.S. Senate revised immigration laws and gave millions
of illegal aliens legal status under an amnesty program.
1994 Israel's three decades of occupation in the Gaza Strip
ended as Israeli troops completed their withdrawal and
Palestinian authorities took over.
1998 The U.S. federal government and 20 states filed a
sweeping antitrust case against Microsoft Corp., saying the
computer software company had a "choke hold" on competitors
which denied consumer choices by controlling 90% of the
software market.
1998 U.S. federal officials arrested more than 130 people and
seized $35 million. This was the end to an investigation of
money laundering being done by a dozen Mexican banks and two
drug-smuggling cartels.
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Can you adjust the font size on Google Maps?
Friday, May 17, 2013, 09:36 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, May 17.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Thank you Richard!
Pat Cooper pointed out that yesterday's picture was not
real clouds, but a coputer generated piece of art
created by Damien Harrison
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The fundamental cause of trouble in the world
is that the stupid are cocksure
while the intelligent are full of doubt.”
--- Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing
a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the
manuscript to come back in.
This is too much of a temptation to the editor.
--- Ring Lardner
My next-door neighbor and I frequently borrow things from
each other. Not long ago, when I requested his ladder, he told
me that he had lent it to his son. Recalling a saying my
grandmother used to repeat, I recited, "You should never lend
anything to your kids, because you will never get it back."
And my neighbor said, "Well, it's not even my ladder.
It's my dad's."
THE 30 MOST COMMON PC ISSUES AND
FIXES
This book includes the best solutions posted on the Internet
(blogs,forums,manuals,etc) combined with the 10 years of PC
repair experience of the author Sebastian Nesh. It can be
used anytime by anyone. No specialized knowledge required.
You don't need to be tech guy to use this book!
Get the
FIXES!
There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an
old, abandoned mineshaft. Curious about its depth they threw
in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the
bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger
rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched
the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie.
With great difficulty, the two men carried it to the opening
and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat
suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole!
The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon
their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up
to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the
area and they said that one had just jumped into the mineshaft
in front of them!
The man replied, "Oh no. That couldn't be MY goat,
mine was tied to a railroad tie."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Derek Lavis, 45, Kalkaska, Mich
Jailed After Attempting To Break
Girlfriend Out Of Jail
Reported by The Weekly vice
Derek Lavis, a 45-year-old Michigan man, was jailed
Monday after he allegedly tried to free his girlfriend
from the county jail by repeatedly ramming his vehicle
into its outside wall.
According to the Kalkaska County Sheriff's Office,
corrections officers were alerted at around 10:30 p.m.
Sunday when they heard a loud banging sound against
the jail's north-facing wall.
When deputies looked to see what was creating the noise,
they found a Chevy Suburban that was repeatedly being
rammed against the wall.
When the driver, later identified as Derek Lavis, saw
that he had been spotted, he fled the scene.
Detectives say Lavis was attempting to free a woman who
was being detained inside the jail. Although Lavis
appeared to have known the woman's location inside
the jail, the woman has denied having prior knowledge
of the jail-break attempt. She has not yet been
charged in the case.
Lavis was arrested at 9 a.m.. Monday morning after
he was located in a wooded area about 12 miles
south of the jail.
He was booked into jail and charged with attempted
aiding of a prisoner escape and malicious
destruction of a building.
Tech Support Pits
From: Len
Re: Changing fonts on Google Maps
Dear Webby
That trick of using Google Maps instead of Google Earth
works fine, except for the tiny fonts. Do they write just
for little girls, or are their programmers little girls?
How can they expect seniors to read the street names?
Is there ANY way at all to change the text size?
Len
Dear Len
There is no way, if you use a high resolution monitor.
It seems, the little girls with perfect vision, working
on old, low resolution monitors, don't give a hoot about
seniors.
Taking little girls along to read the street names off a
printed map is not my style. I prefer big girls.
A high quality GLASS magnifying glass is about the only
reasonable remedy I have been able to find.
Yes, I know, Windows has a built in magnifier.
To start it, hit START and type Magnifier.
And there IS a secret way to turn it off without tossing
the computer out the window:
Hold the Windows key and hit the ESC key.
Your windows will all be re-arranged, your desktop icons
will be totally messed up, and you WILL swear to never
EVER use it again, but a magnifier IS available.
My recommendation is to use it only on the machine of the
person, who persuaded you to get Windows 7.
Since I always make a screen shot of maps
ALT PrintScreen
and paste it into a graphics program with CTRL V,
I can magnify it in there, and write the important
street names in a font large enough to read off a print
while I am driving.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Oil Filter Remover for Big Jar Lids
I bought a gallon jar of pickles, but had to wait for my
husband to come home to open the jar. My hands just weren't
large enough to get a good grip on the lid. Next shopping
trip he bought something that is made to loosen oil filters
from cars. He found it in the automobile department. It works
great on large jar lids, so I no longer have to wait for him
to open jars for me!
By Kathryn from Virginia
There is a jar opener called "Swing Away", that reaches
over the top of jars, and that you can hit with a rolling
pin, if necessary, to losen the lid. It adjusts for anything
from ketchup bottles to gallon pickle jar lids.
Then there is the "Baby Boa" rubber belt grip. It is
a handle with a slot in it, and a rubber belt, that
goes around the jar lid and then into the slot.
It too can be used on any size. It is actually more an
industrial tool, but works very well in my kitchen.
I bought mine about 25-30 years ago at a Dollar Store.
With ANY jar opening adventure, put one of those sticky
drawer liners into the sink and the jar or bottle on top
of that, If the lid suddenly lets go, that trick can avoid
pickled beets or salsa all over your clothes and floor.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Grow food with a minimum amount of work
in a minimum amount of space with
Food4Wealth.
Absolutely everything you need to know to grow
healthy,
fresh organic food, without all the problems.
Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable.
It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to
understand. This package includes a fully illustrated
step by step manual, PLUS AudioBook and over
60 minutes of video.
Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard,
and stop worrying about harmful chemicals!
Get Food4Wealth Now!
60 day money back guarantee!
Baby camel to his dad, "Dad, why have we got
such big feet?"
"So that we can carry our masters through the
hot shifting sands of the desert where no other
animal can go," replied Dad.
"Dad, why have we such long spindly legs?"
"So that we can carry our masters through all
the prickly thorn bushes in the desert without
scratching their legs," replied Dad.
"Dad, why do we have such big humps on our
backs?"
"So that we can carry our masters for long
distances across the desert without stopping
for food or water," replied Dad.
"Dad, why our we sitting in the back of this truck,
stuck in rush-hour traffic?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
Husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The
passion is heating up. But then the wife stops and says
"I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." The
husband says "WHAT??"
The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her
emotional needs as a Woman.
The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen
tonight and he might as well deal with it. So the next
day the husband takes her shopping at a big dept.
store.
He walks around and has her try on three very expensive
outfits. And then tells his wife. We'll take all three
of them. Then goes over and gets matching shoes worth
$200 each. And then goes to the Jewelry Dept. and gets
a set of diamond earrings. The wife is so excited (she
thinks her husband has flipped out, but she does not
care). She goes for the tennis bracelet. The husband
says "but you don't even play tennis, but OK if you
like it then lets get it." The wife is jumping up and
down so excited she cannot even believe what is going
on. She says "I am ready to go, lets go to the cash
register."
The husband says," no - no - no, honey we're not
going to buy all this stuff."
The wife's face goes blank.
"No honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while."
Her face gets really red and she is about to explode
and then the husband says,
"You must not be in tune with my emotional state about
unbalanced checkbooks and overdrawn VISAs!"
Smart guy, that he is, he made sure he was in bed long
before her. He did not want to be the one sleeping on
the couch.
Today, May 17, in
1540 Afghan chief Sher Khan defeated Mongol Emperor Humayun
at Kanauj.
1630 Italian Jesuit Niccolo Zucchi saw the belts on
Jupiter's surface.
1681 Louis XIV sent an expedition to aid James II in Ireland.
As a result, England declares war on France.
1756 Britain declared war on France again, beginning the
French and Indian War.
1814 Denmark ceded Norway to Sweden. Norway's constitution,
which provided a limited monarchy, was signed.
1875 The first Kentucky Derby was run at Louisville, KY.
1877 The first telephone switchboard burglar alarm was
installed by Edwin T. Holmes.
1932 The U.S. Congress changed the name "Porto Rico" to
"Puerto Rico."
1940 Germany occupied Brussels, Belgium and began the
invasion of France.
1946 U.S. President Truman seized control of the nation's
railroads, delaying a threatened strike by engineers
and trainmen.
1948 The Soviet Union recognized the new state of Israel.
1980 Rioting erupted in Miami's Liberty City neighborhood
after an all-white jury in Tampa acquitted four former
Miami police officers of fatally beating black insurance
executive Arthur McDuffie. Eight people were killed in
the rioting.
1987 An Iraqi warplane attacked the U.S. Navy frigate Stark
in the Persian Gulf, killing 37 American sailors. Iraq and
the United States called the attack a mistake.
1996 U.S. President Clinton signed a measure requiring
neighborhood notification when sex offenders move in.
Megan's Law was named for 7-year-old Megan Kanka, who was
raped and killed in 1994.
2007 Trains crossed the border dividing North and South Korea
for the first time since 1953.
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Can you change the route on Google Earth?
Thursday, May 16, 2013, 08:38 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, May 16
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one.
--- A. J. Liebling (1904 - 1963)
>Thanks to jkabb34 for this one:
An old man and woman were married for many years, even
though they hated each other. Fighting and yelling was
heard at all times of the day and night. The old man
would shout, "When I die, I will dig my way up and out
of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest
of your life!"
Neighbors feared him. The old man liked the fact that he
was feared.
To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was
98. His wife had a closed casket at the funeral.
After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and
began to party as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbors,
concerned for her safety, asked "Aren't you afraid that he
may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and
haunt you for the rest of your life?"
The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig.
I had him buried upside down.
And I know he won't ask for directions."
THE 30 MOST COMMON PC ISSUES AND
FIXES
This book includes the best solutions posted on the Internet
(blogs,forums,manuals,etc) combined with the 10 years of PC
repair experience of the author Sebastian Nesh. It can be
used anytime by anyone. No specialized knowledge required.
You don't need to be tech guy to use this book!
Get the
FIXES!
A man was walking along the beach at Malibu when he
found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone
so he opened it.
A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him
out. The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant
you one wish, but only one."
The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always
wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to
because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me
claustrophobic and ill. So, I wish for a bridge to be
built from here to Hawaii."
The genie thought for a few minutes and said, "No, I
don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work
involved with the pilings needed to hold up the highway
and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom
of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be
needed.
No, that is just too much to ask."
The man thought for a minute and then told the genie,
"There is one other thing that I have always wanted. I
would like to be able to understand women. What makes
them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are
they so difficult to get along with? What do they mean
when they say 'NOTHING, YOU MORON!'
Basically, what makes them tick?"
The genie considered for a few minutes and said,
"Stuff me back into my bottle."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
(Picture is of a previously arrested sex offender named
Kerry Lee Bobo, might be a different Kerry Lee Bobo)
Kerry Lee Bobo, 53, from Atwater, California
Jailed for foil wrapped gun in luggage
Reported by The Smoking Gun
MAY 13--A man who apparently thought that a pistol wrapped
in aluminum foil would be undetectable to airport X-ray
machines is facing a federal criminal charge for allegedly
trying to smuggle the loaded weapon on a flight from San
Francisco to Europe.
Kerry Lee Bobo, 53, was planning to fly last Thursday
afternoon to Amsterdam when Transportation Safety
Administration screeners “noticed what appeared to be a
handgun” in a checked suitcase, according to a U.S.
District Court complaint.
When federal agents opened Bobo’s luggage they found a
loaded Sig Sauer .45-caliber handgun “wrapped in aluminum foil”
and a taser. They then boarded Bobo’s KLM flight and escorted
the Atwater, California resident from the aircraft.
During questioning, Bobo said that he was continuing on to
Nairobi from Amsterdam and had packed the gun “to protect
himself from animals while in Kenya.” Bobo, who was traveling
alone, claimed that he had encased the weapon in aluminum foil
to “thwart airport baggage personnel from stealing it.”
Investigators were not buying that explanation.
In a sworn affidavit, a Homeland Security agent reported that,
“I know that some people believe--incorrectly--that aluminum
foil can somehow block x-ray and other security screening devices.”
Investigators concluded that Bobo wrapped the firearm in foil
“to conceal the handgun and prevent its discovery.”
Charged with a felony carrying a maximum of ten years in prison,
Bobo was released from custody last Friday on a $50,000 unsecured
bond. He is scheduled for a May 31 preliminary hearing.
In the 80's and 90's, before the Tourism Suppression Agency
got so fanatically hysterical, I think they were called FATASS
in those days, it was a common joke to wrap a vibrator in alu foil,
to ENSURE it showed up in the scanner, and slip it into people's
carry-on luggage to cause them a lot of embarrassment. It was so
common, that during busy times the screeners just grinned and
ignored the obvious bait. Bobo must have just fallen off the
turnip wagon.
Tech Support Pits
From: George
Re: Adjusting route on Google Earth
Dear Webby
Google Earth has much better mapping than Mapquest, but there
seems to be be no way to adjust a route. Sometimes the route
it shows is OK, but quite often it is not. If I want to take
fast roads, that are a bit further, instead of zig-zagging
through unsafe neighborhoods,
HOW do I adjust the route?
And is there a way to change the route color?
George
Dear George
You can't.
To adjust the route, you have to get out of Google Earth,
open either AOL's Mapquest or Google Maps.
On those two you hover anywhere on the route until you
see a button, then you can drag that button to where you
want the route to be.
The procedure is identical, including the hard to see
blue route line. Neither of them is willing to change
the route line to an easier to see color. They just
have dumb excuses why it can't be done.
I take a screen-shot and then do a color replacement,
and change the blue line to red.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Attach Jars to Your Shelves
When you have loads of small things to store in your shed
or workshop, such as nails, screws, etc, here's a cool tip:
Save jam jars and screw the lids to the underside of your
workshop shelves. You can see what is in the jars and
screw/unscrew the jar of your choice. Just make sure your
shelf is secure and sturdy enough to take the extra weight.
By Chickybiker
After the log house I had finished building a few months
earlier burned down two days before Christmas 1978, I spent
a few years living in a wall tent in the Yukon, saving money
and building a new house. In that wall tent I used the same
trick with the jars, except I screwed the lids to a 4x4,
with a sturdy screw in each end, resting in a clothes hanger loop.
Don't use just any jar, make sure they are all the same size
so that any jar fits into any lid, because you are bound to
re-organize them for different projects.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Grow food with a minimum amount of work
in a minimum amount of space with
Food4Wealth.
Absolutely everything you need to know to grow
healthy,
fresh organic food, without all the problems.
Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable.
It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to
understand. This package includes a fully illustrated
step by step manual, PLUS AudioBook and over
60 minutes of video.
Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard,
and stop worrying about harmful chemicals!
Get Food4Wealth Now!
60 day money back guarantee!
A mother had three very active boys. One summer evening,
she was playing cops and robbers in the back yard after
dinner. One of the boys "shot" his mother and yelled, "Bang!
You're dead!" She slumped to the ground and when she didn't
get up right away, a neighbor ran over to see if she had been
hurt in the fall.
When the neighbor bent over, the overworked mother opened
one eye and said, "Shhh. Don't give me away. It's the only
chance I've had to rest all day."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A four year old walked into the bathroom while her mother
was putting on make-up and announced, "I'm going to look
just like you, mommy!"
Her mother said, "Maybe, when you grow up."
"No, mommy, tomorrow. I'm just gonna put on that
'Oil of Old Lady' that you always use."
Today, May 16, in
1770 Marie Antoinette, at age 14, married the future King Louis XVI
of France, who was 15.
1879 The Treaty of Gandamak between Russia and England set up
the Afghan state.
1881 In Germany the first electric tram for the public
started service.
1888 The first demonstration of recording on a flat disc
was demonstrated by Emile Berliner.
1920 Joan of Arc was canonized in Rome.
1946 "Annie Get Your Gun" opened on Broadway.
1946 Jack Mullin showed the world the first magnetic tape recorder.
1960 Theodore Maiman, at Hughes Research Laboratory in California,
demonstrated the first working laser.
1963 After 22 Earth orbits Gordon Cooper returned to Earth,
ending Project Mercury.
1969 Venus 5, a Russian spacecraft, landed on the planet Venus.
1975 Japanese climber Junko Tabei became the first woman to reach
the summit of Mount Everest.
1987 The Bobro 400 set sail from New York Harbor with 3,200 tons
of garbage. The barge travelled 6,000 miles in search of a place
to dump its load. It returned to New York Harbor after 8 weeks
with the same load.
1988 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that police do not have to have
a search warrant to search discarded garbage.
1996 Admiral Jeremy "Mike" Boorda, the nation's top Navy officer,
died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound after some of his military
awards were called into question.
1997 In Zaire, President Mobutu Sese Seko gave control of the country
to rebel forces ending 32 years of autocratic rule.
2000 U.S. First Lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was nominated to run for
U.S. Senator in New York. She was the first U.S. first lady to run
for public office.
2005 Sony Corp. unveiled three styles of its new PlayStation 3
video game machine.
2013 smiled
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Wednesday, May 15, 2013, 09:28 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, May 15
Thanks, Steve!
Is there any special religious significance to $6.66 ?
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions--
as attempts to find out something. Success and failure are
for him answers above all.
--- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her
husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is."
"Of course I do," he indignantly answered, going out
the door to the office.
At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened
the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long
stemmed red roses.
At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite
chocolates arrived.
Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress.
The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home.
"First the flowers, then the chocolates, and then the
dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful
National Popcorn Day in my life!"
THE 30 MOST COMMON PC ISSUES AND
FIXES
This book includes the best solutions posted on the Internet
(blogs,forums,manuals,etc) combined with the 10 years of PC
repair experience of the author Sebastian Nesh. It can be
used anytime by anyone. No specialized knowledge required.
You don't need to be tech guy to use this book!
Get the
FIXES!
>From Nanarina (in the USA)
THE ECONOMY IS SO BAD THAT...
Women are having sex with their husbands and boyfriends
because they can't afford batteries.
Jury duty is now considered a good-paying job.
Banks are now mailing us pre-declined credit cards.
African TV now shows "sponsor an American child" commercials.
CEO's are playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen.
ATMs now give IOUs!
A stripper was bruised when her audience showered her with
rolls of pennies.
Mormon polygamists now have only one wife.
If the bank returns your check marked "insufficient funds",
you ask if they mean you or them.
McDonald's is now selling a quarter-ouncer.
Beverly Hills parents are firing their nannies and learning
their children's names.
Hookers offer discounts for johns paying with Canadian Dollars
A truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico.
A picture is now worth only 200 words.
They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street".
Hookers accept food stamps
Church ushers have car-hop style coin dispensers to give
change for a Dollar
Click on the picture for the large version
Over the CO2 Quota! Naughty volcano!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Mohammed Ahmed,21, from Illinois
Man Celebrates Wedding By Getting Arrested
For Soliciting Hooker On His Honeymoon
Reported by The Smoking Gun
21-year-old Mohammed Ahmed was one of scores of men arrested
in a prostitution sweep conducted last week by the Polk County
Sheriff’s Office in Florida. According to investigators, the
alleged john answered an online ad posted by an undercover
detective posing as a hooker.
Seen in the mug shot, Ahmed was arrested when he arrived for
his paid liaison.
Ahmed, an Illinois resident, was in the Sunshine State on his
honeymoon when he was busted for soliciting prostitution and
pot possession.
When Ahmed did not return to his bride at the Omni Hotel,
she called police to report him missing. The woman was
subsequently told by cops that her husband was not MIA,
that he had been arrested for seeking to pay for sex from
a hooker. Was he trying to get a second, and possibly less
critical opinion?
Tech Support Pits
From: Steve
Re: Long Lasting McAfee?
Dear Webby
Did McAfee make an edition with a shelf life?
What about Kapersky?
Steve
Dear Steve
The dusty "stroeboughts" are mainly just a coupon to download
the current version.
Usually the "stroeboughts" also have some VERY basic anti-virus
stuff on it, mainly to kill viruses, that prevent you from
downloading name brand anti-virus programs and updates.
The CD kills those, and cleans up the "Hosts" file, and
directs you to McAfee.com.
There is very little actual difference between Kasperki and
McAfee. One week one of them is a hair ahead, the next week
the other one.
They both use Taliban for tech support, and both of them
seem to be too big to be genuinely interested in customer
service.
However, even with those shortcomings, they are a class
better than Norton or all the free ones.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Plastic Bottles for Patio Chairs
I was given some old patio chairs that are very sturdy.
I love them, however they are rusted on the bottoms of
the chair legs. I went and recycled some bottoms of those
plastic soda bottles and put them under chair legs.
They don't make an annoying sound when I move them on the
patio and the kids feet don't get near the bottoms of the
chair legs.
By Eric W.
If you scrub the rusty chair legs with CocaCola and crumpled
Alumin foil, that will s crub off the loose rust and turn
the solid rust into Iron Phosphate. You can also buy
Phosphoric Acid from the better drug stores.
Iron Phosphate is, chemically speaking, a salt, and can not
oxidize or decay further. It looks, surprise, surprise,
battleship-gray. After that, you can paint it any color
you want.
Instead of bottle bottoms, that will trap moisture, it is
better to glue buttons cut from old leather soled shoe soles
onto the feet for easy and quiet sliding.
Regular, cheap Contact Cement works well.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Grow food with a minimum amount of work
in a minimum amount of space with
Food4Wealth.
Absolutely everything you need to know to grow
healthy,
fresh organic food, without all the problems.
Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable.
It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to
understand. This package includes a fully illustrated
step by step manual, PLUS AudioBook and over
60 minutes of video.
Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard,
and stop worrying about harmful chemicals!
Get Food4Wealth Now!
60 day money back guarantee!
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the "seniors'
special" was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for
$1.99.
"Sounds good," my neighbor's wife said, "but I don't
want the eggs."
"Then I'll have to charge you two dollars and forty-nine
cents because you're ordering a la carte," the waitress
warned her.
"You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?"
she asked incredulously.
"I'll take the special."
"How do you want your eggs?"
"Raw and in the shell," she replied.
She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
Speaking of cakes,...
Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church
ladies' group bake sale in Tuscaloosa, but she forgot to do
it until the last minute.
She remembered it the morning of the bake sale and after
rummaging through cabinets she found an angel food cake
mix and quickly made it while drying her hair and dressing
and helping her son Bryan pack up for Scout camp.
But when Alice took the cake from the oven, the center had
dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured.
She said, "Oh dear, there's no time to bake another cake."
This cake was so important to Alice because she did so want
to fit in at her new church, and in her new community of
new friends.
So, being inventive, she looked around the house for
something to build up the center of the cake.
Alice found it in the bathroom -- a roll of toilet paper.
She plunked it in and then covered it with icing.
Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked
perfect!
Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church
and head for work, Alice woke her daughter Amanda and
gave her some money
and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it
opened at 9:30, and to buy that cake and bring it home.
When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found that the
attractive perfect cake had already been sold.
Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her Mom.
Alice was horrified she was beside herself. Everyone would know, what
would they think?
Oh, my she wailed! She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed.
All night Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing their
fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.
The next day, Alice promised herself that she would try not to think
about the cake and she would attended the fancy luncheon/bridal
shower at the home of a friend of a friend and try to have a good
time.
Alice did not really want to attend because the hostess was
a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the
fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding
families of Tuscaloosa, but having already RSVP 'd she could
not think of a believable excuse to stay home.
The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper
crust old South... and to Alice's horror, THE CAKE
was presented for dessert.
Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the
cake, she started, out of her chair to rush to tell her
hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet,
the Mayor's wife said, "What a beautiful cake!"
Alice, who was still stunned, sat back in her chair when
she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member)
say, Thank you, I baked it myself."
Alice smiled and thought to herself, "GOD is good."
Today, May 15, in
1602 Cape Cod was discovered by Bartholomew Gosnold.
1618 Johannes Kepler discovered his harmonics law.
1702 The War of Spanish Succession began.
1768 Under the Treaty of Versailles, France purchased
Corsica from Genoa, shortly before Napoleon was born.
1795 Napoleon entered the Lombardian capital of Milan.
1849 Neapolitan troops entered Palermo, and were in
possession of Sicily.
1911 The U.S. Supreme Court ordered the dissolution of
Standard Oil Company, ruling it was in violation of
the Sherman Antitrust Act.
1916 U.S. Marines landed in Santo Domingo to quell
civil disorder.
1926 Roald Amundsen and Lincoln Ellsworth were forced down
in Alaska after a four-day flight over an icecap. Ice had
begun to form on the dirigible Norge.
1930 Ellen Church became the first airline stewardess.
1940 Nylon stockings went on sale for the first time in the U.S.
1942 Gasoline rationing began in the U.S. The limit was
3 gallons a week for nonessential vehicles.
1948 Israel was attacked by Transjordan, Egypt, Syria, Iraq
and Lebanon only hours after declaring its independence.
1957 Britain dropped its first hydrogen bomb on Christmas Island
in the Pacific Ocean.
1958 Sputnik III, the first space laboratory, was launched
in the Soviet Union.
1963 The last Project Mercury space flight was launched.
1970 U.S. President Nixon appointed America's first two
female generals.
1972 Alabama Gov. George C. Wallace was shot by Arthur Bremer
in Laurel, MD while campaigning for the U.S. presidency.
Wallace was paralyzed by the shot.
1975 The merchant ship U.S. Mayaguez was recaptured from
Cambodia's Khmer Rouge.
1980 The first transcontinental balloon crossing of the
United States took place.
1983 In Boston,MA, the Madison Hotel was destroyed by
implosion.
1988 The Soviet Union began their withdrawal of its 115,000
troops from Afghanistan. Soviet forces had been there for
more than eight years.
1997 The Space shuttle Atlantis blasted off on a mission to
deliver urgently needed repair equipment and a fresh American
astronaut to Russia's orbiting Mir station.
1999 The Russian parliament was unable a attain enough votes
to impeach President Boris Yeltsin.
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Tuesday, May 14, 2013, 10:24 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, May 14
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The proper way to garden is to plant alphabetically:
asparagus, beets, carrots, dill, endive etc -
that way "weeds" will all be together in one place.
--- Dr Bill Farmer
One day a beautiful woman pulled up to his house in a
new Mercedes. She asked Ole if he would paint her in
the nude. This was the first time anyone had made that
request. As he hesitated, she said money was no object;
she was willing to pay $5000.
Not wanting to get in trouble with his wife, Ole asked the
lady to wait while he went in the house to talk it over with
Lena , his wife.
In a few minutes he returned and said to the beautiful
young lady, "Yah, shure, you betcha. I'll paint you in
the nude. But I'll haff ta leave my socks on so I'll haff
a place to vipe my brushes".
THE 30 MOST COMMON PC ISSUES AND
FIXES
This book includes the best solutions posted on the Internet
(blogs,forums,manuals,etc) combined with the 10 years of PC
repair experience of the author Sebastian Nesh. It can be
used anytime by anyone. No specialized knowledge required.
You don't need to be tech guy to use this book!
Get the
FIXES!
>From Ed
My friend's father is a locksmith in a resort town. Once he
saw a group of beach goers park near his shop and dump trash
from their car on his property.
As soon as they were out of sight, and walking towrds the
beach, the locksmith picked the lock on their car door, put
their garbage back inside, and his kitchen garbage too.
Then he rolled up all the windows to make it nice and hot
in there, and locked the car.
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Nicholas Bailey, 31, and Sabrina Morton, 26, in
Spartanburg, South Carolina
Testicle Attacker
Reported by The Weekly Vice
A South Carolina couple Nicholas Bailey, 31, and Sabrina
Morton, 26, were jailed Sunday after they allegedly got
into a brawl that didn't end well for Bailey's testicles.
According to the Spartanburg County Sheriff's Office,
Bailey came home intoxicated and attempted to quietly sleep
it off in the couple's shower.Sabrina Morton didn't want to
let that happen and began arguing and shoving.
Investigators say the couple shoved each other back and forth
until Bailey pulled a chunk of hair out of Morton's head.
In retaliation, Morton used her nails to send Bailey's
testicles a message.
When deputies arrived on the scene, Bailey was sitting
naked on the couch, bleeding from multiple lacerations to
his genital area.
Bailey and Morton were booked into the Spartanburg County
Jail and charged with domestic violence.
They were released after posting bail.
Tech Support Pits
From: Jenn
Re: Late mails
Dear Webby
I am still plagued with e-mails coming in to me a day later.
My friends need me and say I never answer...Do you have
an idea why the e-mails from certain people are not reaching
me till hours later.
My Puter is on all the time....I write from MSN and receive
my e-mails from a Lot of Outlook users.
Could that be the reason?
Jenn
Dear Jenn
Micosoft has been telling you for some time, that MSN and
HoeMail are obsolete and will be shut down any day soon.
You believed Microsoft, that Windows 7 was good and suitable
punishment for the sins of your youth, why do you choose
to ignore their urging to stop using MSN and Hoemail?
You do have a fairly good local ISP, and part of what you
are paying for is a proper email address. Why don't you
start using that?
You can use Thunderbird, Outlook, Outlook Depressed,
Eudora, Pegasus, or any of dozens more email programs
with that address.
There really is absolutely NO reason to continue using
MSN or Hoemail.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Store Canned Beans Upside Down
Preventing Bathtub Slip and Falls
I love a tub bath, however, getting out of the tub can be
kind of tricky for an old lady like me especially when
the tub is slippery. I have found that placing a towel
down in the tub before getting up makes it much easier.
It keeps me from slipping and I have no fear of falling.
While standing in the tub on the towel, I dry myself
off then turn around and wipe down the tile and around
the tub. When I get out of the tub, I'm dry and so is
the bathroom.
By Litter Gitter
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Grow food with a minimum amount of work
in a minimum amount of space with
Food4Wealth.
Absolutely everything you need to know to grow
healthy,
fresh organic food, without all the problems.
Finally, a method of growing food that is reliable.
It also produces an abundance of food and is easy to
understand. This package includes a fully illustrated
step by step manual, PLUS AudioBook and over
60 minutes of video.
Get your veggies on your balcony or back yard,
and stop worrying about harmful chemicals!
Get Food4Wealth Now!
60 day money back guarantee!
Two friends are discussing the possibility of love.
"I thought I was in love three times," one friend says.
"How so?" his friend asks.
"Five years ago I deeply cared for a woman who wanted nothing
to do with me."
"Was that not love?" his friend asks.
"No," he replies. "That was obsession. And then two years ago
I deeply cared for an attractive woman who didn't understand
me."
"Was that love?"
"No," he replies. "That was lust. And just last year I met a
woman aboard a cruise ship to the Caribbean. She was smart,
funny, and a great conversationalist. And everywhere we met
on that boat, I would get this strange sensation in the pit
of my stomach."
"Was that love?" his friend asks.
"No," he replies. "That was seasickness."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
When Mark, took his beat-up pickup truck to our
insurance agent for a pre-insurance inspection, the teen-age
receptionist was sent to look over the truck. Armed with a
checklist and a few simple questions, she breezed through
the chore. When she asked, "What are the age and make of the
vehicle?"
Mark replied, "It's a '75 Ford." Apologetic about its des-
perate condition, he added, "It's an old fossil." Inside,
the office assistant entered the data into her computer and
frowned. "Is there a problem?" asked Mark.
"Mr. Evans, I've been in insurance a while," she explained,
"but I've never heard of a Ford Fossil."
Today, May 14, in
1264 King Henry III was captured by his brother in law Simon
deMontfort at the Battle of Lewes in France.
1509 In the Battle of Agnadello, French defeated Venitians
in Northern Italy.
1610 French King Henri IV (Henri de Navarre) was assassinated
by a fanatical monk, François Ravillac.
1643 Louis XIV became King of France at age 4 upon the death
of his father, Louis XIII.
1796 The first smallpox vaccination was given by Edward Jenner.
1811 Paraguay gained independence from Spain.
1853 Gail Borden applied for a patent for condensed milk.
1862 The chronograph was patented by Adolphe Nicole.
1878 The name Vaseline was registered by Robert A. Chesebrough.
1879 Thomas Edison incorporated the Edison Telephone Company of Europe.
1897 "The Stars and Stripes Forever" by John Phillip Sousa was
performed for the first time.
1897 Guglielmo Marconi made the first communication by wireless
telegraph.
1935 The Philippines ratified an independence agreement.
1940 The Netherlands surrendered to Nazi Germany.
1942 The British, while retreating from Burma, reached India.
1948 Prime Minister David Ben-Gurion proclaimed the independent
State of Israel as British rule in Palestine came to an end.
1955 The Warsaw Pact, a Easterb European mutual-defense treaty,
was signed in Poland by eight communist bloc countries including
the Soviet Union.
1973 Skylab One was launched into orbit around Earth as the first
U.S. manned space station.
1975 U.S. forces raided the Cambodian island of Koh Tang and recaptured
the American merchant ship Mayaguez. All 40 crew members were released
safely by Cambodia. About 40 U.S. servicemen were killed in the
military operation.
1996 A tornado hit 80 villages in nothern Bangladesh. More than 440
people were killed.
1999 North Korea returned the remains of six U.S. soldiers that had
been killed during the Korean War.
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Which browser is best for today?
Monday, May 13, 2013, 10:33 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, May 13
Sunday was warm enough to hedge my raspberries. The easiest
way to tell which shoots were live and which ones were dead
was by location. The live shoots tend to all be outside the
guide wires, and only the dead ones in between the guide
wires. The live shoots also had tiny green bits on them.
They sure look skimpy after hedging! I will probably lift
the pieces of blown off tar paper shingles, that I have
between the plants to avoid having to weed them.
When I was a kid we had 10 rows of raspberries, 12 Meters long.
All the shoots were neatly tied with Raffia to tautly strung
haywire. The rows were a few inches lower than the lawn-mower-
wide path between the rows, and weeding those trenches was
one of my chores. I try to avoid that chore since then.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible
than the bore.
--- Samuel Butler (1835 - 1902)
The psychiatrist was not expecting the distraught stranger
who staggered into his office and slumped into a chair.
"You've got to help me. I'm losing my memory, Doctor," he
sobbed. "I once had a successful business, a wife, home and
family; I was a respected member of the community. But all
that's gone now. Since my memory began failing, I've lost
the business - I couldn't remember my clients' names. My
wife and children have left me, too; and why shouldn't they?
Some nights I wouldn't get home until four or five in the
morning. I'd forget where I lived...And it's getting worse.
Doctor - it's getting worse!"
"This is not an unusual form of neurosis," the psychiatrist
said soothingly. It is actually no real problem at all.
Just sign this automatic invoice payment authorization,
then we can both relax and dicuss your condition."
A traveling evangelist always put on a grand finale at his
revival meetings, When he was to preach at a church, he
would secretly hire a small boy to sit in the ceiling
rafters with a dove in a cage. Toward the end of his sermon,
the preacher would shout for the Holy Spirit to come down,
and the boy in the rafters would dutifully release the dove.
At one revival meeting, however, nothing happened when the
preacher called for the Holy Spirit to descend. He again
raised his arms and exclaimed: "Come down, Holy Spirit!"
Still no sign of the dove.
The preacher then heard the anxious voice of a small boy
call down from the rafters: "Sir, a big black cat just
ate the Holy Spirit. Shall I throw down the cat?"
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture:
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Marlena Mints, 31, in Cedar Hill, TX
Charged With Having Sex With Students
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Marlena Mints, a 31-year-old health teacher at Bessie Coleman
Middle School, has been jailed after she allegedly had sex
with at least two students.
According to police, an investigation was launched in late
April after a coach at the same middle school reported that
a 13-year-old student was overheard bragging about having
sex with Mints.
As the investigation unfolded, detectives learned that Mints
allegedly had sexual contact with several students.
Investigators the first relationship began when a 13-year-old
student texted Mints and told her that he was having a problem
with his penis. Mints reportedly texted the student back,
stating that she could help him with his problem, but that
she'd have to have a look at his penis in person.
The student told investigators that he thought it would be
okay because Mints was his health and sex education teacher.
When he went to the school and exposed himself to her, she
allegedly performed oral sex on him.
The student also stated that other students in the class
touched Mints' breasts and buttocks.
As detectives were investigating the first student's claims,
they learned that Mints had also been exchanging text
messages with a 17-year-old student.
During her text conversation with the older student she
allegedly asked him if he "liked white girls." She then
allegedly picked the student up, drove him to her home
and performed oral sex on him.
Mints was booked into jail and charged with aggravated
sexual assault of a child and two counts of improper
relationship with students.
Tech Support Pits
From: Alex
Re: Which is the best browser?
Dear Webby
With all this panicking about browser security, which
is the best one? I don't want to have to keep switching
and learning a new one every month.
Alex
Dear Alex
I use Firefox.
It gets updated frequently to stay the most secure browser,
but it's no panic, if you miss some updates.
It has lots of features, and because it is the most popular
browser, a lot of programmers have written add-ons for it.
The huge choice of add-ons can be confusing. Suffice it to
say, if you do have any needs, that are not covered by the
browser, there are add-ons for that.
Chrome claims to be faster, but I find it less versatile.
Opera is fast too, but takes some getting used to.
Safari has good font rendering and is great for reading long
texts, but other than that, is hardly worth mentioning.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Store Canned Beans Upside Down
I was putting my cans in the pantry from a recent trip to
the supermarket and decided to share this. For all who use
canned beans of any sort, I'm sure you've had to deal with
the beans on the bottom and juice/soup at the top. When you
turn the can up to empty it, all the goodies are in the
bottom.
I store mine upside down so that all the beans settle in
the top of the can and the soup is in the bottom. When I
open it, everything just jumps out into the sauce pan or
wave dish. I don't have to scrape or put water in it to
get everything out.
By MartyD
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?"
But the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?"
One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth
because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the
Garden of Eden in a Fury." But in Psalm 83, the Almighty
clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the
Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify
them with your Storm."
Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses'
followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the
Ram's horn sounds a long blast."
Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't
like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in
St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did
not speak of my own Accord..." Meanwhile, Moses rode an
old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage
declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the
hills."
Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its
muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."
And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles car pooled
in a Honda..."The Apostles were in one Accord."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A pastor saw Robert Schuller's TV program "Hour of Power."
One of the things that impressed him the most during the
program was watching everyone turn around to shake hands
with and greet other worshippers seated near them.
The pastor felt that his church was a bit stuffy and could
use a bit of friendliness.
So, at Sunday morning worship he announced that next
week they would initiate this custom of greeting one
another.
At the close of this same worship service one man turned
around to the lady behind him and said a cheerful,
"Good morning!" She looked back at him with shock at his
boldness and said, "I beg your pardon! That friendliness
business doesn't start until next Sunday!"
Today, May 13, in
1607 Jamestown, Virginia, was settled as a colony of England.
1648 Margaret Jones of Plymouth was found guilty of witchcraft
and was sentenced to be hanged by the neck.
1779 The War of Bavarian Succession ended.
1787 Captain Arthur Phillip left Britain for Australia. He
successfully landed eleven ships full of convicts on
January 18, 1788, at Botany Bay. The group moved north eight
days later and settled at Port Jackson.
1821 The first practical printing press was patented in the U.S.
by Samuel Rust.
1846 The U.S. declared that war already existed with Mexico.
1861 Britain declared its neutrality in the American Civil War.
1865 The last land engagement of the American Civil War was
fought at the Battle of Palmito Ranch in far south Texas,
more than a month after Gen. Lee's surrender at Appomattox
1880 Thomas Edison tested his experimental electric railway
in Menlo Park.
1913 Igor Sikorsky flew the first four engine aircraft.
1917 Three peasant children near Fatima, Portugal, reported
seeing a vision of the Virgin Mary.
1927 "Black Friday" occurred in Germany.
1949 The first gas turbine to pump natural gas was installed
in Wilmar, AR.
1958 French troops took control of Algiers.
1958 U.S. Vice President Nixon's limousine was battered by
rocks thrown by anti-U.S. demonstrators in Caracas, Venezuela.
1968 Peace talks between the U.S. and North Vietnam began
in Paris.
1981 Pope John Paul II was shot and seriously wounded in
St. Peter's Square by Turkish assailant Mehmet Ali Agca.
1985 A confrontation between Philadelphia authorities and the
radical group MOVE ended as police dropped an explosive onto
the group's headquarters. 11 people died in the fire that
resulted.
1996 In Bangladesh 600 people were killed by a tornado.
1998 India did a second round of nuclear tests. The first
round had been done 2 days earlier. Within hours the U.S.
and Japan imposed tough economic sanctions. India claimed
that the tests were necessary to maintain India's national
security.
1999 In Moscow, the impeachment of Russian President Boris
Yeltsin began.
2013 smiled
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Is the IE browser alarm a hoax?
Sunday, May 12, 2013, 05:42 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, May 12
Happy Mothers Day!
Will Microsoft have a "New Coke" moment and back-pedal with
the universally hated W8 ?
No.
Microsoft does not have a Pepsi to worry about.
The obedient sheeple, who accepted the sawed off monitors,
and W7, will pay for W8.
Microsoft doesn't see any reason to backtrack. They may
chuckle about us howling and bitching, but they don't really
care. W8 is on the machines, that are being shipped from
their plants in China and Singapore.
If you have an XP, treat it well!
Vacuum it out regularly, defrag the hard drive, and make sure
you protect it from viruses and hackers.
The same goes with W7. You are going to have to make it last
until at least W9. Most of us skipped DOS4 and VISTA,
and W8 will go onto the same shelf.
Microsoft does not seem to care one way or the other,
and the sales people, who told you that W7 was good for you
and suitable punishment for the sins of your youth, are
now preparing to tell you that W8 is good for you..
You will have to look after yourself for a while.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
"The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips
abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back!"
--- Will Rogers
Reason can answer questions,
but imagination has to ask them.
--- Ralph Gerard
>From Amy
While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was
holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he
said, "Excuse me. This is my stop."
Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well,"
she said, "go ahead."
"And this is my pole," he said.
My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added,
"I just bought it at the hardware store to hold up my shower
curtain."
And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the
bus.
>From Ellen
We had just finished eating a beautiful dinner that my mother
had prepared for our 28-member family. As I glanced up at the
chandelier over the table, I was mesmerized by the creative
handiwork a spider had woven around the prisms and lightbulbs.
"Don't look up there!" my mother screamed. "It's the one thing
I was too tired to clean!"
"Don't look where?" my brother asked.
"There!" my mother pointed. "It's my own personal web sight!"
Click on the picture for the large version
Gullible Warming, eh?
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Bryan Zuniga, 20,
Only In Florida: Suspect, 20, Fleeing From Police
Is Attacked By Alligator
Reported by The Smoking Gun
A Florida man fleeing from cops following a traffic stop
early today was attacked by an alligator during his escape
attempt, investigators report.
According to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office, Bryan
Zuniga was driving around 2:45 AM when deputies sought to
pull over the 20-year-old’s car for “failing to maintain
a single lane.”
After bringing the vehicle to a stop, Zuniga--who was driving
with a suspended license--allegedly bolted out the passenger
door and escaped by kicking a hole through a nearby vinyl
fence.
Zuniga’s escape, however, was marred when he tripped over
an alligator near a water treatment plant about a mile
from the traffic stop. The ensuing attack left Zuniga with
“multiple puncture wounds to his face, arm and armpit.”
Deputies located Zuniga, seen in the above mug shot, at a
local hospital where he sought treatment for the alligator
bites. Upon release from the hospital, Zuniga was arrested
and booked into the county jail on several counts,
including a felony charge of fleeing a law enforcement officer.
Zuniga is being held in lieu of $6300 bond.
The alligator is back on the job guarding the sewage treatment
facility.
Tech Support Pits
From: Ellen
Re: is the browser Alarm a hoax or real?
Dear Webby
I read all over that the browser has a big security hole,
that hackers are using to gain control of computers.
Is that just FUD mongering or is there really any danger?
Thanks
Ellen
Dear Ellen
If you are using Internet Explorer 8, and don't have McAfee
or Kasperki protecting your computer, then it may be too late.
If you don't now what kind of browser you are using, go to
http://whatbrowser.org/
It it shows you are using Internet Exploder 8, download Firefox
or Chrome as fast as you can, and then retire Internet Exploder
until they come up with a fix to close that big, gaping
security hole.
None of the other browsers have that problem.
Naturally, you can also use Chrome or Opera or Safari.
I recommend FireFox, because it is close enough to
Internet Explorer, so that you can switch to it with a
minimum of learning.
No matter which browser you choose, for a while you need
something better than Internet Explorer 8
You can download FireFox from http://snipurl.com/dl-ff
Or Chrome from http://snipurl.com/dlchrome
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Pledge to Deter Ants
Follow the ants' trail and try to find where they are
entering from. Spray the area with lemon scented furniture
polish (Pledge) and they will stop entering the house, kitchen,
or wherever you see them. You may have multiple areas where
they are coming in, so you would have to spray all of them.
In my experience, I only had ants in an isolated area so it was
pretty easy to find the source, on the floor baseboard from a
crack in the the front of the house. I simply sprayed the
furniture polish in that spot inside and left it. I didn't wipe
it up or clean it off. I never saw ants again in the five years
I lived there!
Ants will come in from somewhere and go towards food sources
so you might not necessarily have them coming in where you store
the food. Hopefully this helps!
By earlgirl007
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
>From Fran
It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me
flowers at the office. He told the florist to write "Happy
Anniversary, Year Number 2" on the card.
I was thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased with
the card. It read
"Happy Anniversary. You're Number 2."
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction
site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to
spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she
would take her lunch; sit with the workers, she put her sandwich
in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were
eating. Sporting a big smile, she walked up to the group and asked:
"And do you men know Jesus Christ?"
They shook their heads and looked at each other. very confused.
One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out,
"Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"
One of the steelworkers yelled down , "Why?"
The worker yelled back, "Cause his mom's here with his lunch."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to
attend a meeting. He tried unsuccessfully to locate his
car-pool members to let them know that he would not be
leaving with them.
Hastily he scribbled a message to one fellow and left it
on his desk: "I have a last-minute meeting. Leave without
me. Dave."
At 7:00 p.m., the man stopped at his desk and found this
note: "Meet us at the bar and grill across the street. You
drove today, you idiot."
Today, May 12, in
1588 King Henry III fled Paris after Henry of Guise
triumphantly entered the city.
1780 Charleston, South Carolina fell to British forces.
1847 William Clayton invented the odometer.
1870 Manitoba entered the Confederation as a Canadian province.
1885 In the Battle of Batoche, French Canadians rebelled against
the Canadian government.
1926 The airship Norge became the first vessel to fly over
the North Pole.
1937 Britain's King George VI was crowned at Westminster Abbey.
1940 The Nazi conquest of France began with the German army
crossing Muese River.
1942 The Soviet Army launched its first major offensive of
World War II and took Kharkov in the eastern Ukraine from the
German army.
1943 The Axis forces in North Africa surrendered during WWII.
1949 The Soviet Union announced an end to the Berlin Blockade.
1975 U.S. merchant ship Mayaguez was seized by Cambodian forces
in international waters.
1982 In Fatima, Portugal, security guards overpowered a Spanish
priest armed with a bayonet who was trying to reach
Pope John Paul II.
1992 Four suspects were arrested in the beating of trucker
Reginald Denny at the start of the Los Angeles riots.
2002 Former U.S. President Carter arrived in Cuba for a visit with
Fidel Castro. It was the first time a U.S. head of state, in or out
of office, had gone to the island since Castro's 1959 revolution.
2013 smiled
|
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( 14 views )
|
permalink |
print article |
( 3 / 537 )
Is the IE alarm a hoax or real?
Sunday, May 12, 2013, 06:10 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, May 12
Happy Mothers Day!
Will Microsoft have a "New Coke" moment and back-pedal with
the universally hated W8 ?
No.
Microsoft does not have a Pepsi to worry about.
The obedient sheeple, who accepted the sawed off monitors,
and W7, will pay for W8.
Microsoft doesn't see any reason to backtrack. They may
chuckle about us howling and bitching, but they don't really
care. W8 is on the machines, that are being shipped from
their plants in China and Singapore.
If you have an XP, treat it well!
Vacuum it out regularly, defrag the hard drive, and make sure
you protect it from viruses and hackers.
The same goes with W7. You are going to have to make it last
until at least W9. Most of us skipped DOS4 and VISTA,
and W8 will go onto the same shelf.
Microsoft does not seem to care one way or the other,
and the sales people, who told you that W7 was good for you
and suitable punishment for the sins of your youth, are
now preparing to tell you that W8 is good for you..
You will have to look after yourself for a while.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
"The taxpayers are sending congressmen on expensive trips
abroad. It might be worth it except they keep coming back!"
--- Will Rogers
Reason can answer questions,
but imagination has to ask them.
--- Ralph Gerard
>From Amy
While riding the bus, my mother noticed a young man, who was
holding onto the same pole, staring at her. Eventually, he
said, "Excuse me. This is my stop."
Since she wasn't blocking his way, she was confused. "Well,"
she said, "go ahead."
"And this is my pole," he said.
My mother was completely perplexed until the young man added,
"I just bought it at the hardware store to hold up my shower
curtain."
And with that, he picked up his pole and carried it off the
bus.
>From Ellen
We had just finished eating a beautiful dinner that my mother
had prepared for our 28-member family. As I glanced up at the
chandelier over the table, I was mesmerized by the creative
handiwork a spider had woven around the prisms and lightbulbs.
"Don't look up there!" my mother screamed. "It's the one thing
I was too tired to clean!"
"Don't look where?" my brother asked.
"There!" my mother pointed. "It's my own personal web sight!"
Click on the picture for the large version
Gullible Warming, eh?
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Bryan Zuniga, 20,
Only In Florida: Suspect, 20, Fleeing From Police
Is Attacked By Alligator
Reported by The Smoking Gun
A Florida man fleeing from cops following a traffic stop
early today was attacked by an alligator during his escape
attempt, investigators report.
According to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office, Bryan
Zuniga was driving around 2:45 AM when deputies sought to
pull over the 20-year-old’s car for “failing to maintain
a single lane.”
After bringing the vehicle to a stop, Zuniga--who was driving
with a suspended license--allegedly bolted out the passenger
door and escaped by kicking a hole through a nearby vinyl
fence.
Zuniga’s escape, however, was marred when he tripped over
an alligator near a water treatment plant about a mile
from the traffic stop. The ensuing attack left Zuniga with
“multiple puncture wounds to his face, arm and armpit.”
Deputies located Zuniga, seen in the above mug shot, at a
local hospital where he sought treatment for the alligator
bites. Upon release from the hospital, Zuniga was arrested
and booked into the county jail on several counts,
including a felony charge of fleeing a law enforcement officer.
Zuniga is being held in lieu of $6300 bond.
The alligator is back on the job guarding the sewage treatment
facility.
Tech Support Pits
From: Ellen
Re: is the browser Alarm a hoax or real?
Dear Webby
I read all over that the browser has a big security hole,
that hackers are using to gain control of computers.
Is that just FUD mongering or is there really any danger?
Thanks
Ellen
Dear Ellen
If you are using Internet Explorer 8, and don't have McAfee
or Kasperki protecting your computer, then it may be too late.
If you don't now what kind of browser you are using, go to
http://whatbrowser.org/
It it shows you are using Internet Exploder 8, download Firefox
or Chrome as fast as you can, and then retire Internet Exploder
until they come up with a fix to close that big, gaping
security hole.
None of the other browsers have that problem.
Naturally, you can also use Chrome or Opera or Safari.
I recommend FireFox, because it is close enough to
Internet Explorer, so that you can switch to it with a
minimum of learning.
No matter which browser you choose, for a while you need
something better than Internet Explorer 8
You can download FireFox from http://snipurl.com/dl-ff
Or Chrome from http://snipurl.com/dlchrome
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Use Pledge to Deter Ants
Follow the ants' trail and try to find where they are
entering from. Spray the area with lemon scented furniture
polish (Pledge) and they will stop entering the house, kitchen,
or wherever you see them. You may have multiple areas where
they are coming in, so you would have to spray all of them.
In my experience, I only had ants in an isolated area so it was
pretty easy to find the source, on the floor baseboard from a
crack in the the front of the house. I simply sprayed the
furniture polish in that spot inside and left it. I didn't wipe
it up or clean it off. I never saw ants again in the five years
I lived there!
Ants will come in from somewhere and go towards food sources
so you might not necessarily have them coming in where you store
the food. Hopefully this helps!
By earlgirl007
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
>From Fran
It was our second anniversary, and my husband sent me
flowers at the office. He told the florist to write "Happy
Anniversary, Year Number 2" on the card.
I was thrilled with the flowers, but not so pleased with
the card. It read
"Happy Anniversary. You're Number 2."
An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction
site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to
spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she
would take her lunch; sit with the workers, she put her sandwich
in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were
eating. Sporting a big smile, she walked up to the group and asked:
"And do you men know Jesus Christ?"
They shook their heads and looked at each other. very confused.
One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out,
"Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"
One of the steelworkers yelled down , "Why?"
The worker yelled back, "Cause his mom's here with his lunch."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to
attend a meeting. He tried unsuccessfully to locate his
car-pool members to let them know that he would not be
leaving with them.
Hastily he scribbled a message to one fellow and left it
on his desk: "I have a last-minute meeting. Leave without
me. Dave."
At 7:00 p.m., the man stopped at his desk and found this
note: "Meet us at the bar and grill across the street. You
drove today, you idiot."
Today, May 12, in
1588 King Henry III fled Paris after Henry of Guise
triumphantly entered the city.
1780 Charleston, South Carolina fell to British forces.
1847 William Clayton invented the odometer.
1870 Manitoba entered the Confederation as a Canadian province.
1885 In the Battle of Batoche, French Canadians rebelled against
the Canadian government.
1926 The airship Norge became the first vessel to fly over
the North Pole.
1937 Britain's King George VI was crowned at Westminster Abbey.
1940 The Nazi conquest of France began with the German army
crossing Muese River.
1942 The Soviet Army launched its first major offensive of
World War II and took Kharkov in the eastern Ukraine from the
German army.
1943 The Axis forces in North Africa surrendered during WWII.
1949 The Soviet Union announced an end to the Berlin Blockade.
1975 U.S. merchant ship Mayaguez was seized by Cambodian forces
in international waters.
1982 In Fatima, Portugal, security guards overpowered a Spanish
priest armed with a bayonet who was trying to reach
Pope John Paul II.
1992 Four suspects were arrested in the beating of trucker
Reginald Denny at the start of the Los Angeles riots.
2002 Former U.S. President Carter arrived in Cuba for a visit with
Fidel Castro. It was the first time a U.S. head of state, in or out
of office, had gone to the island since Castro's 1959 revolution.
2013 smiled
|
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( 11 views )
|
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print article |
( 3.1 / 581 )
Wednesday, May 8, 2013, 07:29 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, May 8
By the time you read this, I will be on my way to Calgary
to get more injections into my eyeballs.
You know the drill. Thursday, Friday, Saturday there won't
be a newsletter, because my vision is not good enough to
see what I am doing after those injections.
When I come home from there, I have problems undoing my
shoe laces, and have to use the scissors, if they don't
cooperate.
Sunday morning I will be back in your mailbox.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Some are born great, some achieve greatness,
and some hire public relations officers.
--- Daniel J. Boorstin
>From Fred
I asked my wife if she had seen this morning's paper. She
said, "Yes, I wrapped the garbage in it--just the classified
section, though."
I said, "But...but...I haven't seen it yet!"
She replies, "Oh, you didn't miss much. Just some egg shells,
coffee grounds and a few orange peels."
Thanks to Dave for this classic:
When the office printer's type began to grow faint (this
was one of the old dot-matrix printers), the office manager
called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed
him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.
Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he
said, the manager might try reading the printer's manual
and doing the job himself.
Pleasantly surprised by his candor, the office manager
asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"
"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied.
"We usually make more money on repairs if we let people
try to fix things themselves first."
Click on the picture for the large version
You can order the INS and all kinds of border control patches
from Copshop.com
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
William Hotz, 59, Valley Stream, NY
Jailed For Beating Woman To The Ground Over
Expired Coupon For Free Ice Cream Cone
Reported by The Weekly Vice
William Hotz, a 59-year-old Valley Stream man, was jailed
Wednesday after he repeatedly punched a female cashier in
the face because she wouldn't accept an expired coupon for
a free ice cream cone.
According to Nassau County police, Hotz went to a local
ice cream shop, and ordered a $3.50 ice cream cone.
After he received his order, he attempted to pay for it
with an expired coupon that offered "one free ice cream cone."
When the 55-year-old female cashier told him that his coupon
was expired and that he'd have to pay for his ice cream cone,
Hotz became angry and stormed out of the shop. When the
cashier followed him outside, Hotz retaliated by repeatedly
punching her in the face.
When officers arrived on the scene, Hotz took a combative
stance, flailed his arms and refused to be taken into custody.
Officers on the scene waited for backup before finally placing
Hotz under arrest.
The victim received cuts and swelling to her lip, but refused
medical treatment.
Hotz was booked into jail and charged with robbery and
resisting arrest.
Tech Support Pits
From: Jim H
Re: Windows open small
Dear Webby
Again I come to you, thanking you for you wisdom and asking
another question.
When I want to open a folder for a picture or whatever, the
window shows small. I can expand it by dragging the corners,
but the next time I open it, it is a small window again.
Is there any way to have the windows open "full screen" every time.
This happens with Eudora when I want to insert a picture and also
with other programs.
Thank you again,
jh
Dear Jim
From what I can find on the net, that problem seems to be
related to internet Explorer.
People, who use FireFox or Chrome have never heard of that
problem.
I found three potential solutions:
===================
to solve the problem regarding minimized window size of
ie 8 in windows 7 and make it to a full window.
Open only one ie8 window
on the upper bar of the window
right click it and choose size
resize the window to its full view
then go to file menu and choose exit.
there you go
open ie 8 it will surely default in full view
lucas3x
====================
go to tools, internet options, under "Tabs" click settings,
select "always open pop-ups in a new tab"
Apparently explorer recognizes new windows as a pop-up.
enjoy
weez4real
====================
A FREE third party software is suggested which seems to do
the job well (http://www.southbaypc.com/AutoSizer/)
but we still would like a proper response or fix from Microsoft.
Ghistrem 2009
====================
Take your pick or try them all, until you find one, that works.
Or try FireFox.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Tennis Balls as Alternative to Dryer Sheets
To save money and time when drying your clothes,
instead of using dryer sheets or dryer balls, put three
tennis balls in the dryer with your load. This saves you
money by not having to buy dryer sheets and cuts drying
time in half. The tennis balls can be used over and over.
They also make your clothes softer. I do this every time.
By blueeyes27 from Peru, IN
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
Sister Mary, who worked for a home health agency, was out
making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran
out of gas. As luck would have it, a gas station was just
a block away.
She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some
gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned
had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned.
Since the nun was on the way to see a patient, she decided
not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for
something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted
the bedpan she was taking to the patient.
Always resourceful, she carried the bedpan to the station,
filled it with gas, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two men watched
from across the street. One of the them turned to the other
and said, "If it starts, I'm turning Catholic.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.
"Is the word spelled p-u-t or p-u-t-t?'' she asked the
instructor.
"P-u-t-t would be correct,'' he replied.
"Put means to place a thing where you want it.
Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
Today, May 8, in
1096 Peter the Hermit and his army reached Hungary.
They passed through without incident.
1450 Jack Cade's Rebellion-Kentishmen revolted against
King Henry VI.
1541 Hernando de Soto reached the Mississippi River.
He called it Rio de Espiritu Santo.
1794 Antoine Lavoisier was executed by guillotine.
He was the French chemist that discovered oxygen.
1794 The United States Post Office was established.
1846 The first major battle of the Mexican War was fought.
The battle occurred in Palo Alto, TX.
1847 The rubber tire was patented by Robert W. Thompson.
1879 George Selden applied for the first automobile patent.
1886 Pharmacist Dr. John Styth Pemberton invented what
would later be called "Coca-Cola."
1902 Mount Pelee on Martinique erupted and killed over
30,000 people and destroyed the town of St. Pierre.
1904 U.S. Marines landed in Tangier to protect the
Belgian legation.
1914 The U.S. Congress passed a Joint Resolution that
designated the second Sunday in May as Mother's Day.
1921 Sweden abolished capital punishment.
1933 Gandhi began a hunger strike to protest British
oppression in India.
1943 The Germans suppressed a revolt by Polish Jews and
destroyed the Warsaw Ghetto.
1956 Alfred E. Neuman appeared on the cover of "Mad Magazine"
for the first time.
1960 Diplomatic relations between Cuba and the Soviet Union resumed.
1967 Muhammad Ali was indicted for refusing induction in U.S. Army.
1970 Construction workers broke up an anti-war protest on
New York City's Wall Street.
1973 Militant American Indians who had held the South Dakota
hamlet of Wounded Knee for 10 weeks surrendered.
1985 "New Coke" was released to the public on the 99th
anniversary of Coca-Cola. 78 days later it was dumped.
1986 Reporters were told that 84,000 people had been evacuated
from areas near the Chernobyl nuclear plant in Soviet Ukraine.
1998 A pipe burst leaving a million residents without water in
Malaysia's capital area. This added to four days of shortages
that 2 million already faced.
2013 smiled
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A way to get your address blocked
Tuesday, May 7, 2013, 10:58 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, May 7
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Today's scientists have substituted mathematics for experiments,
and they wander off through equation after equation,
and eventually build a structure which has no relation to
reality.
--- Nikola Tesla (1857 - 1943),
A liberal is a person whose interests
aren't at stake at the moment.
--- Willis Player
A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to
appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly
restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case
to be heard.
When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood
before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned
for the next day and he would have to return the next day.
"What for?" he snapped at the judge.
His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query
roared, "Twenty dollars contempt of court. That's why!"
Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge
relented. "That's all right. You don't have to pay now."
The man replied, "I'm just seeing if I have enough for
two more words."
The other day, I had no choice, I had to go to the
emergency room.
Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I went to the
Army-Navy surpluse store, and bought some OD pants and a
shirt. Then I sewed a couple of patches on which I grabbed
from the internet. Stuck on my pilot sunglasses and was off!
It was amazing how many people left as I walked in. I guess
they suddenly decided they werent' that sick after all.
Here is the patch that you can sew on your clothing if you are
in need of reasonably prompt emergency service.
You can order the ptches from Copshop.com
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Krystal Thomas, 23, Syracuse, N.Y.
Jailed After Stabbing Toddler Son In Testicles
During Argument With Child's Father
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Krystal Thomas, a 23-year-old New York woman, was jailed
Wednesday after she allegedly stabbed her 2-year-old son's
testicles in retaliation for an argument she was having
with the child's father.
According to police, the incident began on Tuesday when Thomas
and her boyfriend, Ron Craven, became engaged in an argument
that began spiraling out of control.
Craven decided to leave the residence for awhile, hoping that
Thomas would calm down in his absence. When he returned to
the house, however, he found Thomas "acting stranger than usual"
while holding a butcher knife in her hand.
Investigators say the couple began arguing again and continued
to argue as Craven went outside into the driveway. That's when
Thomas reportedly jumped into a vehicle and attempted to run
Craven over. Craven was rolled onto the vehicle's hood as he
tried to jump out of the way. Thomas backed up for a second run.
During Thomas' second attempt, she struck the home's front porch
and another vehicle before fleeing the scene.
When Craven walked into the residence to check on their son,
he found the boy bleeding heavily from the groin area. The boy
was taken to an area hospital where it was discovered he had
been stabbed in the testicles. The boy was treated for a
two-inch stab wound and is expected to recover.
When officers found Thomas the next day, she reportedly told
them that she stabbed her son to "stop him from later multiplying,"
according to the arrest affidavit.
She was booked into jail and charged with felony counts of
assault, attempted assault and reckless endangerment. She
remains held in lieu of $500,000 bond.
Tech Support Pits
From: Alice
Re: Auto responder
Dear Webby
At first I was miffed at your reply, that sounded like you
had preached the same thing too many times. Pardon me for
not having been subscribed as long as others.
Then I phoned my daughter, hoping she had a different
explanation.
Well, golly, she didn't. And she had me blacklisted! Not on
purpose, but as you said, anything that smells like an auto-
responder gets dumped and the sender blacklisted.
Now I dumped my autoresponder, and the stupid book that
recommended it.
Thanks
Alice
Dear Alice
Good for you!
Autoresponders are only justified when they deliver requested
information, like for example a price list, or weather update,
or event schedule, or even race results when somebody
sends a blank email to a certain address. Other than that,
it's best to avoid them like the plague.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Raised Beds Using Cardboard Boxes
This year I want to try raised beds in my garden,
but I don't want to spend any money on purchasing the wood
necessary to make them, plus all the work involved. So I
came up with this idea - why not use cardboard boxes from
the grocery stores? I plan on getting approximately 12 inch
deep ones with sturdier sides. I think that they should
hold up for one entire summer. I will let you know how I
fare with them. If this works, I'll be so happy!
By annelaundrie from Green Bay, WI
Cardboard will just make a big mess.
You can get "slabs", the sides of logs, for free from any
sawmill. They will even cut them to 4 feet length, so that
you can haul them on your bicycle or in a car.
Hammer those slabs into the ground or bury the ends of them,
and stomp the dirt on their side, so that you have a tight fence.
Regular hay-wire ($5 / mile) strung from side to side will keep
them from leaning out as you fill the beds.
To fill raied beds to waist high, for easy planting, weeding,
harvesting, the proper way is to start with heater stuff.
Cardboard, roots from stumps, rotten wood, etc., stuff that
will slowly decompose and provide spring and fall heat.
Then on top of that put a layer of compost. That will provide
nutrition and faster heat.
Top it off with screened garden dirt.
If you just want edging, up to a foot high, you can use slabs
lengthwise, held in place with concrete re-bar hammered in,
or even sticks hammered in to keep them in place.
Peeled slabs look quite nice and after a few seasons turn
silvery. They last 20 - 25 years.
Some people paint them black to absorb more sun in spring,
but because the wood is an insulator, that is a waste of
time. If you want to plant earlier, put re-bar or plastic pipe
hoops like on a covered wagon onto your raised beds and cover
them with clear plastic.
Make the ends so that they are easy to open, preferably with
a string from your house, and put a large exterior thermometer
into at least one of them. Even if the nights and mornings are
below freezing, afternoons can make your raised bed hothouses
way too hot for plants.
That system with slabs and hooped plastic tunnel worked fine
for me and others even in the Yukon.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off,
when a salesman runs up to him and yells, "Wait! Before you
tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"
The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"
"It's a special golf ball," says the salesman.
"You can never lose it!"
"Whattaya mean," scoffs the golfer, "you can never lose it?
What if you hit it into the water?"
"No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects
where the shore is, and spins towards it."
"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"
"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and
you can find it with your eyes closed."
"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round
goes late and it gets dark?"
"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you,
you can never lose this golf ball!"
The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he says to the
salesman. "Where did you get it?"
"I found it."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A couple went to pay a visit to another couple, unannounced.
The wife answered the door. "Come in," she said.
The other couple came in,sat down, then asked,
"Where's John?"
"Oh," replied his wife,"he's in the bathroom,
grouting and spackling."
"Oh, dear," said the other lady, "I had that once
and didn't get over it for two weeks.
Today, May 7, in
0558 The dome of the church of St. Sophia in Constantinople
collapsed. It was immediately rebuilt as ordered by Justinian.
1274 The Second Council of Lyons opened in France to regulate
the election of the pope.
1429 The English siege of Orleans was broken by Joan of Arc.
1525 The German peasants' revolt was crushed by the ruling
class and church.
1763 Indian chief Pontiac began all out war on the British
in New York.
1912 The first airplane equipped with a machine gun flew
over College Park, MD.
1915 The Lusitania, a civilian ship, was sunk by a German
submarine. 1,201 people were killed.
1926 A U.S. report showed that one-third of the nation's
exports were motors.
1937 The German Condor Legion arrived in Spain to assist
Franco’s forces.
1939 Germany and Italy announced a military and political
alliance known as the Rome-Berlin Axis.
1940 Winston Churchill became British Prime Minister.
1942 In the Battle of the Coral Sea, Japanese and American
navies attacked each other with carrier planes. It was the
first time in the history of naval warfare where two enemy
fleets fought without seeing each other.
1945 Germany signed unconditional surrender ending World War II.
It would take effect the next day.
1946 Tokyo Telecommunications Engineering Corp. was founded.
The company was later renamed Sony.
1951 Russia was admitted to participate in the 1952 Olympic Games
by the International Olympic Committee.
1954 French Colonial Forces surrendered to the Vietminh at
Dien Bien Phu after 55 days of fighting.
1954 The United States and the United Kingdom rejected the
Soviet Union's bid to join NATO.
1975 U.S. President Ford declared an end to the Vietnam War.
1984 A $180 million out-of-court settlement was announced in
the Agent Orange class-action suit brought by Vietnam veterans
who claimed they had suffered injury from exposure to the
defoliant while serving in the armed forces.
1992 A 203-year-old proposed constitutional amendment barring
the U.S. Congress from giving itself a midterm pay raise was
ratified as the 27th Amendment.
1997 A report released by the U.S. government said that
Switzerland provided Nazi Germany with equipment and credit
during World War II. Germany exchanged for gold what had been
plundered or stolen. Switzerland did not comply with postwar
agreements to return the gold.
1998 Daimler-Benz bought Chrysler Corp. for close to $40 billion.
It was the largest industrial merger on record.
1998 Residents of London voted to elect their own mayor for the
first time in history. The vote would take place in May 2000.
1999 In Belgrade, Yugoslavia, three Chinese citizens were killed
and 20 were wounded when a NATO plane mistakenly bombed the
Chinese embassy.
2003 In Washington, DC, General Motors Corp. delivered six
fuel cell vehicles to Capitol Hill for lawmakers and others
to test drive during the next two years.
2013 smiled
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Monday, May 6, 2013, 11:30 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, May 6.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.
--- James Thurber (1894 - 1961)
Where we have strong emotions,
we're liable to fool ourselves.
--- Carl Sagan
(Like he did with his "Ice Age Is Coming" campaign
at the END of the previous cooling ripple, which was
the model for Al Gore's "Gullible Warming" campaign,
at the END of the warming ripple.)
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one
turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what
else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking,
I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway.
I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my
shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs,
I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my
wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for hours for staying
out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously
taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway,
slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into
the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say,
'You as horny as I am?' . . .
and, she always acts like she's sound asleep!"
Becky and Sally were doing some carpentry work on their
house. Becky, who was nailing down house siding, would
reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss
it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Sally figuring this was worth looking into, asked,
"Why are you throwing those nails away?"
Becky explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about
half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw
them away."
Sally got completely upset and yelled, "You moron!
Those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of
the house!"
Feel free to change the names when you re-tell this one!
Thanks to Sailor for these pictures:
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Nikki Scherwitz, 25, Freeport, TX
Teacher jailed For Having Sex With Student
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Nikki Scherwitz, a 25-year-old English teacher at Brazosport
High School, was jailed Wednesday after she allegedly had
sex with a 16-year-old student.
According to police, an investigation was launched April 22nd
after Scherwitz showed up at a student planned after-prom party,
drank alcohol and then left with a 16-year-old student.
Investigators say rumors of an alleged sexual relationship
between Scherwitz and a student had been circulating around
the school for weeks when she showed up at a student's home
for an after-prom party on April 20.
"One of the students told her it wasn't right for her to be
there and drink booze, and asked her to leave," said
Raymond Garivey of the Freeport Police Dept.
"We have information that she was consuming alcohol."
Suspicion was raised even further, however, when Scherwitz
allegedly left the party with a 16-year-old student.
As the investigation unfolded, Scherwitz allegedly admitted
to having a relationship with the student that spanned
several weeks.
"The relationship started with text messaging, which led to
explicit text messaging, which led to sex," said Garivey.
Scherwitz reportedly resigned her position with the school
on April 22nd when she learned that she was under investigation
for the alleged relationship. Although Scherwitz is married she
is now separated from her husband, according to reports.
Scherwitz was booked into the Freeport Jail and charged with
sexual assault of a child and improper relationship between
educator and student. She was released after posting $50,000 bond.
Tech Support Pits
From: Angela
Re: VGA monitor
Dear Webby,
I need to buy a new monitor. My gorgeous Lenovo 1600x1200
LED monitor died. I am limping along on the old NEC 19" CRT,
that has been sitting in the garage for many years now.
It too is 1600x1200, but I can hardly believe how dim it
is compared to a modern LED monitor!
I realize that 4:3 monitors are reserved for Asia and that
we just get the rejects, that are only 2/3 as high, but I
can't afford to fly to China or Singapore to buy a 4:3
monitor, so I am gritting my teeth and preparing to settle
on what you call a "Sawed off runt". Well, nobody wanted W7
either, but accepted it with nary a whimper.
If some aliens want to take us over, all they have to do is
tell us slavery is a fashionable upgrade.
Anyway, before i get into politics, back to monitors.
I saw a bunch of nice looking monitors at Costco with
prices, that seemed as good or better than Tiger's, but
would save me the shipping cost.
I realize that the floor crew at Costco specializes on
being friendly, but usually does not know much more than
the price, same as at any store, these days. So I am asking
you: Are those monitors a good deal?
Angela
Dear Angela
I had to get a prescription refill anyway, so I went and had
a look at the monitors at Costco.
Those monitors are OK, if you have just bought a computer
from them. I saw a Samsung labelled VGA, DVI, 24". $159
I asked them to open a box. No problem.
There was a DVI cable included, to fit this year's computers,
but no VGA cable to fit your older computer. DUH!
I asked, if the VGA cable for computers, that are more than
one or two years old, are available as an option, since the
label on the shelf said VGA, DVI. He phoned the back office.
You are right about the floor crew at Costco being very
friendly. However, the back-office seems to be staffed with
people, who have sharp elbows and PMS.
He was told that the included cable fit the computers, that
they were currently selling. Maybe a competitor was
selling cables.
So, if your computer is a few years old, then hopefully the
VGA cable on the old monitor is detachable and not hardwired
in. Then you can re-use that cable. Otherwise you will have
to go to a local recycler or pack-rat and buy a used VGA
cable.
15 pin VGA is analog, 17 pin DVI is digital.
If you have secured a 15 pin VGA cable, then go for it.
Just make sure you got a cable before you spend money.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Fruit Fly Trap
I absolutely hate fruit flies! This trap is very easy to
make and works really well. I always have this trap set
up on the counter, so an infestation never has a chance
to take hold. :)
Approximate Time: 5 minutes
Supplies:
red wine vinegar
Dawn dish soap
plastic wrap
rubber band
toothpick
clear jar
Put 3-4 drops of Dawn soap into the bottom of the jar.
Pour 6 Tbsp. of red wine vinegar into the jar (or enough
to fill it about 1/4 in.).
Gently swirl the jar around to combine the ingredients.
Place a piece of plastic wrap over the jar and pull it
tight across the top. Secure it with a rubber band. Trim
off any excess plastic.
Using a toothpick, poke holes into the plastic so the
flies can get in.
Place your trap near any fruit you have out on the counter.
Goodbye fruit flies!
NOTE: I change out my mixture about every 2 weeks, more
often if I am catching a lot of fruit flies.
By lalala...
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit
working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to
become his apprentice.
The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a
lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell
you to do."
One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge
and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he
said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard."
Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students
included a HUGE amount of material on the midterm exam.
Tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping
aloud as they realized how much material they had covered
and were expected to recall.
The following week, the professor tossed the graded papers
on her desk and announced, "Class, after I left here last
week, the Lord spoke to me.
He said, 'Thanks, professor. I haven't heard from some of
those people in many years!
Today, May 6, in
1527 German troops began sacking Rome, bringing about the
end of the Renaissance.
1529 Babur defeated the Afghan Chiefs in the Battle of
Ghagra, India.
1840 The first adhesive postage stamps went on sale in GB
1851 The mechanical refrigerator was patented by Dr. John Gorrie.
1851 Linus Yale patented the clock-type lock.
1861 Arkansas became the ninth state to secede from the Union.
1877 Chief Crazy Horse surrendered to U.S. troops in Nebraska.
1882 The U.S. Congress passed the Chinese Exclusion Act. The act
barred Chinese immigrants from the U.S. for 10 years.
1889 The Universal Exposition opened in Paris, France, marking
the dedication of the Eiffel Tower. Also at the exposition was
the first automobile in Paris, the Mercedes-Benz.
1937 The German airship Hindenburg crashed and burned in
Lakehurst, NJ. Thirty-six people (of the 97 on board) were killed.
1941 Joseph Stalin assumed the Soviet premiership.
1942 During World War II, the Japanese seized control of the
Philippines. About 15,000 Americans and Filipinos on Corregidor
surrendered to the Japanese.
1945 Axis Sally made her final propaganda broadcast to
Allied troops.
1957 U.S. Senator John Fitzgerald Kennedy was awarded the Pulitzer
Prize for his book "Profiles in Courage".
1960 Britain's Princess Margaret married Anthony Armstrong Jones.
They were divorced in 1978.
1960 U.S. President Eisenhower signed the Civil Rights Act of 1960.
1962 The first nuclear warhead was fired from the Polaris submarine.
1994 The Chunnel officially opened. The tunnel under the English Channel
links England and France.
1994 Former Arkansas state worker Paula Jones filed suit against U.S.
President Clinton. The case alleged that he had sexually harassed
her in 1991.
1999 A parole board in New York voted to release Amy Fisher.
She had been in jail for 7 years for shooting her lover's wife,
Mary Jo Buttafuoco, in the face.
2002 "Spider-Man" became the first movie to make more than
$100 million in its first weekend.
2013 smiled
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Sunday, May 5, 2013, 01:02 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, May 5.
Cinco de Mayo, state holiday in Mexifornia.
The Cinco de Mayo is not, in its origins, a Mexican holiday
at all but rather an American one, created by Latinos in
California in the middle of the 19th century. The key events
celebrated on May 5 were taking place in Mexico, when Mexico
beat up the French Army and prevented France from supplying
the Confederates with arms and ammo and support and from
breaking the Union blockade of the Southern ports.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.
--- Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)
I respect faith,
but doubt is what gets you an education.
--- Wilson Mizner (1876 - 1933)
Fashion is something that goes in one year and
out the other.
--- Socratex
A marriage is always made up of two people who are
prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
--- Terry Pratchett
Thanks to Nanarina for this news item:
Detroit Police last night announced the discovery of an
arms cache of 2000 semi-automatic rifles with 25,000 rounds
of ammunition, 2 tons of heroin, $5 million in forged US
banknotes and 15 trafficked Latino prostitutes - all in
a semi-detached house behind the Public Library on
Woodward Ave.
Local residents were stunned, and a community spokesman
said, "We all be shocked; none of us never knew we
had a liberry."
A Jewish woman's husband dies. He only had $30,000 to his
name. After everything was done at the funeral home and
cemetery, she tells her closest friend that there is none
of the $30,000 left.
The friend asked, "How can that be?"
The widow replied, "Well, the funeral cost me $6,500. And
of course I made a donation to the shul ..that was $500,
and I spent another $500 for food and drinks for the people
when I was sitting shiva. The rest went for the memorial stone."
Her friend said, "$22,500 for the memorial stone?
My, how big is it?"
The widow said, "Three carats."
Thanks to Sailor for these pictures:
Click on the picture for the large version
These flares were 200,000 km hih.
200,000 km = 25,000 times as high as Mt Everest
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Dareka Brooks,22, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Hooker Jailed After Macing Boy, Fleeing Scene
With Piggy Bank and iPad
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Dareka Brooks, a 22-year-old Milwaukee woman, was jailed Wednesday
after she allegedly robbed a 14-year-old boy of his piggy bank after
he tried to pay her for sex.
According to the Cook County Sheriff's Office, a 14-year-old boy
used his iPad to contact Brooks after he logged onto a website
known for listing pay-for-sex advertisements.
Brooks reportedly agreed to the boy's invitation and arranged to
meet him at his home while his parents were away.
When Brooks arrived at the boy's home to carry out the
encounter, she told him to go into a bedroom and take off
his pants. While the teen was sitting on his bed, Brooks
maced him and fled the scene with his iPad, a piggy bank
and an undisclosed amount of cash.
Investigators say the teen immediately called police and
gave them a description of Brooks and the vehicle she left
in. Officers were able to locate Brooks at a local hotel
after she turned on the boy's iPad.
She was apprehended at the scene when police found the stolen
items in her possession.
Brooks was booked into jail and charged with armed robbery.
Her bond has been set at $10,000.
Tech Support Pits
From: Jerry
Re: Caps Locked text
Dear Webby,
I am editing (pro bono) a local service club monthly
bulletin and occasionally get a script IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS.
I don't mind going through two or three paragraphs, but it
will take forever to rewrite several pages -- not to mention
how boring it is.
If anyone knows a shortcut, I figure it is you.
CAN YOU HELP?
Thanx,
Jerry
Dear Jerry
Just send it back to them and tell them that they are giving
AOL a bad name, again.
Jerry, you are not doing them a favor by lowering your
standards to theirs!
Bring them up to YOURS!
He's a poor teacher, who has never been called a meanie.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Opt-Out of Yellow Pages Delivery
You can opt-out of receiving the yellow pages by visiting
the following address. I almost never use a paper yellow
pages any more since just about every business has a
website so I really appreciate not having to receive
delivery of them.
yellowpagesoptout.com
By Fletcher Sandbeck
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
A Kiwi was hoping to immigrate to Australia. Upon arriving
in Australia, he was questioned by a customs officer,
"What is your business in Australia?"
"I wish to immigrate," was the Kiwi's reply.
The customs officer then asked, "Do you have a conviction
record?"
Confused, the Kiwi then replied,
"I didn't know you still needed one!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
Waiting in a long, slow-moving line for security clearance
at the Edmonton International Airport in Canada, I was
annoyed to hear a loud male voice behind me. "Excuse me,
excuse me," said the man as he pushed his way to the front.
"I want to make sure I get a good seat."
I resolved not to let this line-jumper get ahead of me.
When I felt a tap on my shoulder. I slowly turned around,
prepared to give the man a sriously raised eybrow,
-- but found myself face to face with a smiling pilot.
There was a university in New England where the students
operated a "bank" of term papers and other homework
assignments. There were papers to suit all needs. Since it
would look odd if an undistinguished student suddenly
handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for an A grade,
B grade, and C grade.
One student, who had spent the weekend on more
"extra-curricular pursuits," went to the bank, and as his
course was a standard one he took out a paper for a
inconspicuous C. He then retyped it and handed
the work in.
In due course he received it back with the professor's
comments.
"I wrote this paper myself twenty years ago. I always
thought it was worth an A, and now I'm pleased to give
it one!"
Today, May 5, in
1494 Christopher Columbus sighted Jamaica on his second
trip to the Western Hemisphere. He named the island Santa Gloria.
1809 Mary Kies was awarded the first patent to go to a woman.
It was for technique for weaving straw with silk and thread.
1814 The British attacked the American forces at Ft. Ontario,
Oswego, NY.
1821 Napoleon Bonaparte died on the island of St. Helena,
where he had been in exile.
1862 The Battle of Puebla took place. It is celebrated as
Cinco de Mayo Day.
1865 The Thirteenth Amendment was ratified, abolishing
slavery in the U.S.
1886 A bomb exploded on the fourth day of a workers'
strike in Chicago, IL.
1892 The U.S. Congress extended the Geary Chinese Exclusion
Act for 10 more years. The act required Chinese in the U.S.
to be registered or face deportation.
1912 Soviet Communist Party newspaper Pravda began publishing.
1916 U.S. Marines invaded the Dominican Republic.
1925 John T. Scopes, a biology teacher in Dayton, TN,
was arrested for teaching Darwin's theory of evolution.
1945 The Netherlands and Denmark were liberated from Nazi
control.
1945 A Japanese balloon bomb exploded on Gearhart Mountain
in Oregon. A pregnant woman and five children were killed.
1961 Alan Shepard became the first American in space when
he made a 15 minute suborbital flight.
1981 Irish Republican Army hunger-striker Bobby Sands died
at the Maze Prison in Northern Ireland. It was his 66th
day without food.
2000 The final episode of "Boy Meets World" aired on ABC.
2013 smiled
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How to get rid of PC-TOOLS?
Saturday, May 4, 2013, 09:24 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, May 4.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The human mind treats a new idea the same way the body
treats a strange protein; it rejects it.
--- P. B. Medawar (1915 - ?)
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
--- Herm Albright (1876 - 1944)
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
--- Euripides (484 BC - 406 BC)
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a
Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the
table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end
of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note,
"Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
In a recent survey, 47% of Americans said they thought
there was a serious immigration problem that this
administration needed to address.
The other 53% responded, "No hablo Ingles."
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Stephanie Middleton, 34, St Martin, Miss.
Jailed After Sending Drugs To Jailbird
Husband Using US Mail
Reported by The Weekly Vice
When Stephanie Middleton was lucky enough to be granted
house arrest instead of an 8-year prison sentence following
her burglary conviction, she did what any smart girl
would NOT do.
She began using the United States Postal Service to send
drugs to her husband who is currently spending time in jail.
According to the Jackson County Sheriff's Office, Stephanie's
husband, 34-year-old Joseph Middleton, is incarcerated at
the Jackson County Jail on numerous charges, including
grand larceny, possession of stolen property, and burglary.
Investigators say while Mr. Middleton was incarcerated,
Mrs. Middleton reportedly sent an undisclosed amount of
prescription Fentanyl patches to him through the U.S.
Postal Service. Police discovered the patches and an
undisclosed amount of morphine at her residence and took
her into custody.
Mrs. Middleton was booked into the South Mississippi
Correctional Facility and charged with two counts of drug
possession and introducing contraband into a jail.
If she is convicted on all drug charges and her home
detention is reversed, she will face up to 32 years in
prison.
Mr. Middleton remains jailed at the Jackson County Jail.
He is also facing a charge of introducing contraband
into a jail.
Tech Support Pits
From: Martha
Re: Get rid of PC-TOOLS
I need to uninstatll PC Tools from the PC.
It's also call Spyware Doctor.
Going to add/remove programs does not work.
Thanks for all the great fun you send our way.
martha@
Dear Martha
You MIGHT find an Uninstall file in the PC-Tools
directory.
If there isn't follow the instructions at
Remove PC-TOOLS
It would be a good idea to print that out,
and use a big, fat black MarkAll to totally
obliterate the ads, that they snuck into the text,
so that you don't get sidetracked while you are
working on that. You can't click on the printed paper
anyway.
The instructions look rather scary and are similar to the
instructions for getting rid of really nasty trojams, but
that's what you get for using PC-TOOLS.
By the way, I used to really like PC-TOOLS until it was taken
over by Symantec (Norton) in 1994. It had been the major
competitor to Norton Utilities, but in the early 1990's the
media badmouthed PC-TOOLS and helped Symantec in a hostile
take-over.
Norton then trashed PC-TOOLS down to their level and made it
just as difficult to UN-install.
I had stopped using Norton in the late 80's when I found
out that they deliberately marked a prime spot on the hard
drive as bad and hid registration and expiry information
in there, and did not reverse that, when it was un-installed.
They CLAIM to be Windows compatible, even though to get
the "Windows Compatible" logo, a program would need to
provide single click UNinstallation or UNinstallation via
Program Manager.
Good luck with your UNinstallation!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Opt-Out of Yellow Pages Delivery
You can opt-out of receiving the yellow pages by visiting
the following address. I almost never use a paper yellow
pages any more since just about every business has a
website so I really appreciate not having to receive
delivery of them.
yellowpagesoptout.com
By Fletcher Sandbeck
Excellent idea!
Now that I have Yellow Pages books permanetly installed under
my monitor and a few of them in the garage to use as cheap
jack stands, I really don't need any more.
Haev FUN!
DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
The psychiatrist was interviewing a first-time patient.
"You say you're here," he inquired, "because your family
is worried about your taste in socks?"
"That's correct," muttered the patient. "I like wool socks."
"But that's perfectly normal," replied the doctor.
"Many people prefer wool socks to those made from cotton
or acrylic. In fact, I myself like wool socks."
"You DO?" exclaimed the man. "With oil and vinegar or
just a squeeze of lemon?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
>Thanks to Vern for this one:
I was inspecting communications facilities in Alaska. Since
I had little experience in flying in small planes, I was
nervous when we approached a landing strip in a snow
covered area. The pilot descended to just a dozen feet,
then gunned both engines, climbed, and circled back.
While my heart pounded, the passenger beside me
seemed calm.
"I wonder why he didn't land," I said.
"He was checking to see if the landing strip was plowed,"
the man said.
As we made a second approach, I glanced out the window.
"It looks plowed to me," I commented.
"No," my seat mate said. "It hasn't been cleared for
some time."
"How can you tell?" I asked.
"Because," the man informed me, "I'm the guy who drives
the plow, and I have been in Hawaii for two weeks."
Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's
house. Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked
straight into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for
a second piece of cake."
"No, but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could
make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces
without asking."
Today, May 4, in
1471 In England, the Yorkists defeated the Landcastrians at
the battle of Tewkesbury in the War of the Roses.
1493 Alexander VI divided non-Christian world between Spain
and Portugal.
1626 Dutch explorer Peter Minuit landed on Manhattan Island.
Native Americans later sold the island (20,000 acres) for
$24 in cloth and buttons.
1715 A French manufacturer debuted the first folding umbrella.
1776 Rhode Island declared its freedom from England two months
before the Declaration of Independence was adopted.
1795 Thousands of rioters entered jails in Lyons, France, and
massacre 99 Jacobin prisoners.
1886 Chichester Bell and Charles S. Tainter patented the
gramophone. It was the first practical phonograph.
1916 Germany agreed to limit its submarine warfare after a
demand from U.S. President Wilson.
1932 Al Capone entered the Atlanta Penitentiary federal prison
for income-tax evasion.
1942 The Battle of the Coral Sea commenced as American and
Japanese carriers launched their attacks at each other.
1942 The United States began food rationing.
1946 A two-day riot at Alcatraz prison in San Francisco Bay ended.
Five people were killed.
1970 The Ohio National Guardsmen opened fire on students
during an anti-Vietnam war protest at Kent State University.
Four students were killed and nine others were wounded.
1981 The Federal Reserve Board raised its discount rate to 14%.
1987 Live models were used for the first time in Playtex
bra ads.
1989 Oliver North, a former White House aide was convicted
of shredding documents and two other crimes. He was acquitted
of nine other charges stemming from the Iran-Contra affair.
The three convictions were later overturned on appeal.
1994 Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin and PLO leader
Yasser Arafat signed a historic accord on Palestinian
autonomy that granted self-rule in the Gaza Strip and Jericho.
1998 Unabomber Theodore Kaczynski was given four life sentences
plus 30 years by a federal judge in Sacramento, CA. The
sentence was under a plea agreement that spared Kaczynski
the death penalty.
1999 Manuel Babbitt was executed for killing Leah Schendel
in 1980. Babbitt had received a purple heart for his injuries
in Vietnam while on death row.
2000 Londoners elected their mayor for the first time.
2003 Idaho Gem was born. He was the first member of the horse
family to be cloned.
2010 Pablo Picasso's "Nude, Green Leaves and Bust" sold for
$106.5 million.
2013 smiled
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How to get rid of HP Web Smart Printing nuisance
Friday, May 3, 2013, 11:40 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, May 3.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn't take
his education too seriously.
--- Charles F. Kettering (1876 - 1958)
The only correct actions are those that demand no
explanation and no apology.
--- Red Auerbach
While working at a Pizza Parlor I observed a man ordering
a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook
asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.
He though about it for some time before responding.
"Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
enough to eat 6.
Jerry, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around
9:58 PM. He sat down next to Jill at the bar and stared up
to the TV. The 10:00 PM news was now on. The news crew was
covering a story of a man on a ledge of a tall building
preparing to jump.
Jill looked at Jerry and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Jerry replied, "You know, I bet he will."
Jill said, "Well, I bet he won't."
Jerry placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on."
Just as Jill placed her money on the bar, the guy shown on
the TV did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.
Jill was very upset but handed $20 to Jerry saying,
"Fair's fair, here's your money."
Jerry replied, "I can't take your money. I saw this
earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
Jill replied, "I saw it too, but I didn't think he'd
do it again."
Jerry took the money.
Thanks to Natalie for this picture:
Click on the picture for the large version
Natalie wants to know what it is called.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Eduard A. Kovynev, 27, and Eduard P. Kovynev, 26 in
Duluth, Georgia
Jailed After Falling Through Ceiling During
Ladies' Room Peep Session
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Georgia residents Eduard A. Kovynev, 27, and Eduard P.
Kovynev, 26, were jailed Sunday after they allegedly crashed
through a ceiling at a local movie theater while attempting
to spy on women using the restroom.
According to Gwinnett County Police, officers were dispatched
to Venture Value Cinema in Duluth after two men crashed through
a ceiling into the ladies' restroom located inside the theater.
Investigators say the suspects climbed up into the ceiling
from the mens' restroom and then crawled over to the ladies'
restroom to spy on the unsuspecting women inside. That's when
the ceiling suddenly collapsed and the two men fell through.
The two men, who share the same first and last name, were
booked into the Gwinnett County Jail and charged with
"peeping Tom" criminal damage to property, and public
intoxication. They were both released after posting
$5,000 bond each.
Tech Support Pits
From: Wendy
Re: Get rid of HP Web Smart Printing nuisance
Hi, Webby, well, uninstalling that silly Smart Web Printing
is a 'no-go' It won't let me uninstall it. So now what?
When I go to Add/Remove programs there is no way it will
let me uninstall it. It's driving me crazy. I'm thinking
that maybe it's best to take this whole tower to my tech
fella and get him to re-vamp this whole thing.
This all started when my son unhooked my HP printer, and
hooked it up to his laptop to print our Tax returns. Then,
when he hooked it up again, this is what has happened.
I'm going to check that ClickBook site and see if
there's any help there.
Thanks for all your help.
Cheers, Wendy
Dear Wendy
Apparently you are not the only person suffering from that
"HP Smart Web Malfunction". The forums are full of
complaints.
However, i found a solution, that apparently works:
When you have IE open,
click Tools,
click Manage Add-Ons,
click on HP Smart Web Printing on the list and then
click the option to Disable this add-on.
Close all open IE and then re-open it.
HP Smart Web Printing should no longer automatically load.
With FireFox it's the same. Tools, Add-ons, etc.
ClickBook is defintiely an
excellent idea for managing involved print jobs. Anything
from labels to 4 "page" per sheet eBooks in paperback book
format is automated by it, and when not needed, it politely
exits, completely, without anything lurking in the memory.
Clickbook won't get in the way of regular printing. When you
do need it, you select it as if you were selecting one of
many printers.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Vinegar for Fresh Smelling Laundry
My husband is a runner and his clothes get really smelly.
They were making all the laundry have an odor. I used several
different brands of detergent, but his clothes still had an
odor. I finally started adding one cup of household white
vinegar to each load of clothes. No more odor! All the
clothes come out smelling great and no more sweaty smell
to my husband's sports clothes.
By LUCI MCMULLEN
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet
deep. After the job was completed the boss returned and
explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn't
be needed. "Fill 'er up," he ordered.
The worker did as he'd been told. But he ran into a problem.
He couldn't get all the dirt packed back into the hole
without leaving a mound on top. He went to the office
and explained his problem.
The boss snorted, "Honestly! The kind of help you get
these days! There's obviously only one thing to do.
You'll have to dig that hole deeper!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
After twenty-five years in the same parish, Father O'Malley
was saying his farewells at his retirement dinner. An
eminent member of the congregation - a leading politician -
had been asked to make a presentation and a short speech,
but was late arriving.
So the priest took it upon himself to fill the time, and
stood up to the microphone:
"I remember the first confession I heard here twenty-five
years ago and it worried me as to what sort of place I'd
come to...
That first confession remains the worst I've ever heard.
The chap confessed that he'd stolen a TV set from a neighbor
and lied to the police when questioned, successfully blaming
it on a local scallywag. He said that he'd stolen money from
his parents and from his employer; that he'd had affairs
with several of his friends' wives; that he'd taken hard drugs,
and had slept with another woman and given her a disease.
You can imagine what I thought... However I'm pleased to say
that as the days passed I soon realized that this sad fellow
was a frightful exception and that this parish was indeed a
wonderful place full of kind and decent people."
At this point the politician arrived and apologized for being
late, and keen to take the stage, he immediately stepped up
to the microphone and pulled his speech from his pocket:
"I'll always remember when Father O'Malley first came to
our parish," said the politician, "In fact, I'm certain,
that I was the first person in the parish that he heard
in confession."
An older man strode in to his doctors office and said,
"Doc, my druggist said to tell you to change my
prescription and to check the prescription you've
been giving to a Mrs. Vinnie Smith."
"Oh, he did, did he?" the doctor shot back.
"And since when does a druggist second guess a
doctor's orders?"
The old man says, "Since he found out I've
been on birth control pills since December,
abd that a certain Mrs Vinnie Smith got pregnant."
Today, May 3, in
1568 French forces in Florida slaughtered hundreds of Spanish.
1802 Washington, DC, was incorporated as a city.
1859 France declared war on Austria.
1888 Thomas Edison organized the Edison Phonograph Works.
1916 Irish nationalist Padraic Pearse and two others were
executed by the British for their roles in the Easter Rising.
1921 West Virginia imposed the first state sales tax.
1926 The revival of Wilde's "The Importance of Being Earnest" opened in New York.
1926 In Britain, trade unions began a general strike.
1944 Wartime rationing of most grades of meats ended in the U.S.
1944 Dr. Robert Woodward and Dr. William Doering produced the first
synthetic quinine at Harvard University.
1945 Indian forces captured Rangoon, Burma, from the Japanese.
1952 The first airplane landed at the geographic North Pole.
1968 After three days of battle, the U.S. Marines retook Dai Do
complex in Vietnam. They found that the North Vietnamese had
evacuated the area.
1971 Anti-war protesters began four days of demonstrations in
Washington, DC.
1986 In NASA's first post-Challenger launch, an unmanned Delta
rocket lost power in its main engine shortly after liftoff.
Safety officers destroyed it by remote control.
1988 The White House acknowledged that first lady Nancy Reagan
had used astrological advice to help schedule her husband's
activities.
1992 Five days of rioting and looting ended in Los Angeles, CA.
The riots, that killed 53 people, began after the acquittal of
police officers in the beating of Rodney King.
1997 The "Republic of Texas" surrendered to authorities ending
an armed standoff where two people were held hostage. The
group asserts the independence of Texas from the U.S.
1999 Mark Manes, at age 22, was arrested for supplying a gun to
Eric Harris and Dylan Kleibold, who later killed 13 people at
Columbine High School in Colorado.
2000 The trial of two Libyans accused of killing 270 people in
the bombing of Pan Am flight 103 (over Lockerbie) opened.
2006 In Alexandria, VA, Al-Quaida conspirator Zacarias Moussaoui
was given a sentence of life in prison for his role in the
terrorist attack on the U.S. on September 11, 2001.
2013 smiled
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Thursday, May 2, 2013, 12:15 PM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, May 2
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States.
Ask any Indian.
--- Robert Orben
Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often
shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has
been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still
speak in foreign languages.
--- Dave Barry
Only the shallow know themselves.
--- Oscar Wilde (1854 - 1900)
My sister-in-law Bonnie was very busy one day working in
her house. She had just gotten to the basement after quite
a few trips up and down when she heard the telephone ring
upstairs. Tiredly, she ran back up the stairs only to hear
a solicitor on the other end. "Hello, is this Bonnie D?"
"Yes."
"We are calling people in your area and would like to know
if you would help us by participating in a brief survey."
Without missing a beat, she told them, "I'm very busy right
now. You will have to survey your own briefs."
>Thanks to fred for this:
Married 52 years, I took a look at my wife Julie yesterday and said,
"Honey, 52 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car,
slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV,
but I go to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old chick.
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma
screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 70+ year old woman. It
seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."
Now Julie is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out
and find a hot 25 year old chick, and she would make sure that
I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a
cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed....
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Kim Decker, 52, Rockaway Township, N.J.
Jailed After Stuffing Bra With 333
Folds Of Heroin
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Kim Decker, a 52-year-old New Jersey woman, was jailed
Monday after she was allegedly caught with more than 300 f
olds of heroin stuffed inside her bra.
According to New Jersey State Police, Decker was driving
erratically on Route 80 Monday at about 1:30 a.m. when a
trooper on patrol took notice and pulled over her Honda Accord.
When the trooper approached the vehicle and spoke to Decker,
neither she or the two passenger that were with her had valid
drivers' licenses. The trooper called in a tow truck and
prepared to have the vehicle impounded.
As Decker and the two passengers were exiting the vehicle,
the trooper noticed a wax fold in plain sight laying inside
the vehicle. Knowing that wax folds were a common item used
to package and distribute heroin, the trooper took Decker
and the two passengers into custody.
That's when Decker allegedly told the trooper that she had
heroin hidden inside her bra.
The trooper transported the three suspects to the Netcong
police barracks where a female officers found 333 wax folds
of heroin hidden inside her bra.
Officers also searched Decker's Honda, which produced drug paraphernalia, according to an arrest affidavit.
Decker was booked into the Morris County Correctional
Facility and charged with possession of heroin and possession
of heroin with intent to distribute. Her bail was set at
$50,000.
Passengers William Malony and Ernest Broadwell (both 51)
were booked into jail on similar charges.
Tech Support Pits
From: Carol
Re: headphone batteries
Webby, depending in what kind of headphones Nancy has,
they may require additional batteries or even have a
hard to see on off switch, as another consideration
CArol T
Dear Carol
You are right!
And some headphones have an in-line volume-control and
Mute switch in the cable.
The socket for the headphone plug should be protected as
much as possible. Make sure no books or anything will ever
rest on the plug, or that the plug is nicely supported.
A right angle plug that is as flush as possible is always
a very good investment, considering how much repairs of
a laptop motherbaord cost.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Recognizing Your Luggage
When on a recent trip, I noticed one traveler attached
a colorful nylon "scrubbie" to his luggage. Not only was
it cute, but really stood out from the rest of us with
ribbon attached to our luggage. The dollar store sells
them and really makes it easy to identify your luggage.
Happy traveling!
By Tedebear from San Jose CA
Excellent idea!
I remember when I was the first one to use a bright red belt
in the early 70's, and how colored belts become common in
the 90's. So I switched to a bright red wheely. Well, by the
mid 2000's those became very fashionable, so I painted a
4" wide, bright yellow stripe on all six sides.
They have not copied that, yet.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand
new tennis ball, and seeing nobody around it might belong
to, he slipped it into the pocket of his shorts.
Later, on his way home, he stopped at a pedestrian
crossing, waiting for the lights to change.
A girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his
shorts. "What's that?" she asked.
"Tennis ball," came the breathless reply.
"Oh," said the girl sympathetically, "that must be painful,
I had tennis elbow once."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given
an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to
give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant.
The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't
feel so bad."
The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to
pick it up.
"You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the
way my wife would do it?" the husband asked.
"Exactly," replied the instructor.
To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife
and said,
"Honey, pick up that pen for me."
Becky prepared a pasta dish for a dinner party she was
giving. In her haste, however, she forgot to refrigerate
the spaghetti sauce, and it sat on the counter all day.
She was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to
cook up another batch.
She called the local Poison Control Center and voiced her
concern. They advised Becky to just boil the sauce again
and it should be fine.
That night, the phone rang during dinner, and one of the
guests volunteered to answer it. Becky's face dropped as
the guest called out, "It's the Poison Control Center.
They want to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out."
Today, May 2, in
1519 Leonardo da Vinci died.
1670 The Hudson Bay Company was founded by England's
King Charles II.
1776 France and Spain agreed to donate arms to American
rebels fighting the British.
1797 A mutiny in the British navy spread from Spithead
to the rest of the fleet.
1798 The black General Toussaint L’ouverture forced
British troops to agree to evacuate the port of
Santo Domingo.
1808 The citizens of Madrid rose up against Napoleon.
1813 Napoleon defeated a Russian and Prussian army at
Grossgorschen.
1863 Confederate Gen. Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson was
wounded by his own men in the battle of
Chancellorsville, VA. He died 8 days later.
1865 U.S. President Andrew Johnson offered $100,000 reward
for the capture of Confederate President Jefferson Davis.
1887 Hannibal W. Goodwin applied for a patent on celluloid
photographic film. This is the film from which movies
are shown.
1902 "A Trip to the Moon," the first science fiction film
was released. It was created by magician George Melies.
1919 The first U.S. air passenger service started.
1926 U.S. Marines landed in Nicaragua to put down a revolt
and to protect U.S. interests, did not depart until 1933.
1933 Hitler banned trade unions in Germany.
1941 Hostilities broke out between British forces in Iraq
and that country’s pro-German faction.
1945 Russians took Berlin after 12 days of fierce
house-to-house fighting. The Allies announced the surrender
of Nazi troops in Italy and parts of Austria.
1946 Prisoners revolted at California's Alcatraz prison.
1960 Caryl Chessman was executed. He was a convicted sex
offender and had become a best selling author while on
death row.
1965 The "Early Bird" satellite was used to transmit
television pictures across the Atlantic.
1970 Student anti-war protesters at Ohio's Kent State
University burn down the campus ROTC building. The
National Guard took control of the campus.
1974 The filming of "Jaws" began in Martha's Vineyard, MA.
1982 The British submarine HMS Conqueror sank Argentina's
only cruiser, the General Belgrano during the Falkland
Islands War. More than 350 people died.
2002 It was reported that Phyllis Diller had retired
from touring.
2013 smiled
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Wednesday, May 1, 2013, 10:01 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Wednesday, May 1
Half the snow has melted.
Ignoring the hype and just considering facts, this winter's
total average was half a degree Celsius colder than average
winters. Last time we had that, we had a really nice summer.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada,
while Canadians are malevolently well informed about
the United States.
--- J. Bartlett Brebner
When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy,
it ceases to be a subject of interest.
--- William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)
A man phoned his doctor late at night saying his wife
appeared to have appendicitis.
"That's impossible," the physician replied, peeved at being
woken up.
"She had an appendectomy six years ago. Dont be stupid.
Have you ever seen anybody with a second appendix?"
"No," the husband replied. "However, have you never
seen anybody marrying again after a divorce?"
>Thanks to Lynn for this:
One of my most difficult jobs as a flight attendant is to
enforce rules while keeping customers happy. The electronic
equipment that comes on board creates the biggest challenge.
I walk the aisle asking passengers to turn off computers,
electronic games and cell phones, which can create inter-
ference in communications between the pilot and the air
traffic control tower.
During one landing, a man persistently kept his cell phone
at his ear. I confronted him and said, "Sir, you cannot
talk on your phone until we reach the gate."
"I am not talking," he replied. "My wife is.
I'm just listening. I can't get her to stop."
So I grabbed his phone and showed him how to stop her,
and told him, he can get it back when he
exits the plane.
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Cara Alexander, 27, Newport News, VA
Teacher jailed for Sexting With Student
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Cara Alexander, a 27-year-old English teacher at Woodside
High School, was jailed Friday after she allegedly sent
nude pictures to and engaged in an inappropriate relationship
with a student.
According to Newport News Police, an investigation was
launched after the parents of a 17-year-student found nude
photographs of Alexander on their son's cell phone and
discovered evidence that she was having an inappropriate
relationship with him.
Investigators say Alexander was the student's teacher before
he changed schools recently. No inappropriate physical
encounters are believed to have occurred on the school campus.
School administrators are preparing to terminate Alexander's
employment at the school, according to the district
superintendent.
Alexander was booked into the Newport News City Jail and
charged with 6 felony counts of using a communications
system to facilitate certain offenses involving children,
six counts of contributing to the delinquency of a minor
and 1 felony count of taking indecent liberties with a minor.
Tech Support Pits
From: Nancy
Re: No sound in earphones
Hey Webby, Wondered if you could help me. I purchased a
set of headphones to plug into my Dell laptop so I could
listen to music or watch a DVD without disturbing my husband.
BUT, I can't seem to get the headphones to work! I am unable
to get any sound out of them. Any thoughts?
Nancy
Dear Nancy
Try the other two of the 3 similar looking sockets with
mysterious and hard to see symbols.
If you have the machine connected to external speakers,
unplug those and plug the headphones into that socket.
If you have sound coming from the internal squeakers, that
internal squeaker sound will instantly stop, when you have
found the right socket. If it doesn't, then call Dell about
warranty.
If the squeaker sound stops when you have found the right
socket, but there is no sound in the headphones, then return
the headphones and get different ones.
That headphone / external speaker socket is the most fragile
part on a laptop. It has a little leaf spring in it, that
disconnects the internal squeakers, when external speakers or
headphones are plugged in. Because the plugs stick out awkwardly,
a lot of undue force gets put on that tiny little spring and
the socket, and problems have to be expected.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Repelling Insects in Cabinets
Sprinkle a little borax around the corners of your
cabinets in your kitchen and bath to repel insects.
By Robin
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get
rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home
and leaving him at the park.
As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away.
He put the beast out and headed home.
Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!
He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would
always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles
away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again
and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe
distance from his home and left the cat there.
Hours later the man calls home to his wife:
"Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes," the wife answers, "why do you ask?"
Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that darn thing on
the phone, I'm lost! and need directions!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
"Grandpa, I'm really proud of you," said the modish
young lady.
"What's to be proud of?" asked the old man.
The young lady replied, "I noticed that when you sneeze,
you've learned to put your hand in front of your mouth,
you never used to."
"Of course," explained Grandpa.
"How else can I catch my teeth?"
Schwartz goes to see his Rabbi.
He says, "Rabbi, I think my wife is poisoning me."
The Rabbi says, "I'll tell you what...let me talk to her.
I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls Schwartz and says,
"I spoke to your wife on the phone for four hours.
Well, actually, she spoke for four hours,
while I near the phone was..."
Schwartz says, "Do you have any advice?"
The Rabbi says, "Yeah. Take the poison...."
Dear Webby
I finally decided to get the MailWasher from the left side.
Should have listened to your advice a lot sooner. It saved
me over an hour every day so far, and sorts the mail more
accurately than I can by hand.
Thanks!
Gilbert
Today, May 1, in
0408 Theodosius II succeeded to the throne of Constantinople.
1308 King Albert was murdered by his nephew John, because
he refused his share of the Habsburg lands.
1486 Christopher Columbus convinced Queen Isabella to fund
an expedition to the West Indies.
1707 England, Wales and Scotland were united to form
Great Britain.
1805 The state of Virginia passed a law requiring all
freed slaves to leave the state, or risk either
imprisonment or deportation.
1884 The construction of the first American 10-story
building began in Chicago, IL.
1898 The U.S. Navy under Dewey defeated the Spanish fleet
at Manila Bay in the Philippines.
1905 In New York, radium was tested as a cure for cancer.
1915 A German submarine sank the U.S. ship Gulflight.
1927 Adolf Hitler held his first Nazi meeting in Berlin.
1931 The Empire State Building in New York was dedicated
and opened. It was 102 stories tall and was the tallest
building in the world at the time.
1937 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt signed an act
of neutrality, keeping the United States out of World War II.
1944 The Messerschmitt Me 262, the first combat jet,
made its first flight.
1945 Martin Bormann, private secretary to Adolf Hitler,
escaped from the Fuehrerbunker as the Red Army advanced
on Berlin.
1945 Admiral Karl Doenitz succeeded Hitler as leader of
the Third Reich.
1948 The People's Democratic Republic of Korea
(North Korea) was proclaimed.
1958 James Van Allen reported that two radiation belts
encircled Earth.
1960 Francis Gary Powers' U-2 spy plane was shot down
over the Soviet Union. Powers was taken prisoner.
1961 Fidel Castro announced there would be no more elections
in Cuba.
1968 In the second day of battle, U.S. Marines, with the
support of naval fire, continue their attack on a
North Vietnamese Division at Dai Do.
1970 Students at Kent State University riot in downtown
Kent, OH, in protest of the American invasion of Cambodia.
1971 The National Railroad Passenger Corp. (Amtrak) went
into service. It was established by the U.S. Congress to
run the nation's intercity railroads.
1981 The Japanese government announced that it would limit
passenger car exports to the United States over the next
three years.
1986 The Tass News Agency reported the Chernobyl nuclear
power plant accident.
1986 Bill Elliott set a stock car speed record with his Ford
Thunderbird in Talladega, AL. Elliott reached a speed of
212.229 mph.
1992 On the third day of the Los Angeles riots resulting
from the Rodney King beating trial. King appeared in public
to appeal for calm, he asked, "Can we all get along?"
2001 Chandra Levy was last seen in Washington, DC. Her remains
were found in Rock Creek Park on May 22, 2002. California
Congressman Gary Condit was questioned in the case due to
his relationship with Levy.
2011 U.S. President Barack Obama announced that U.S. soldiers
had killed Osama bin Laden in Pakistan.
2013 smiled
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Tuesday, April 30, 2013, 10:28 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Tuesday, April 30.
Fresh snow again, not much, though, just 5 - 6 inches.
However, it has not stopped snowing yet.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous,
the sensible man hardly anything.
--- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
No human thing is of serious importance.
--- Plato
---------------
Seems to me, his wife loudly disagreed with that.
Lost in Translation
A Londoner wound up a business trip to the Orient with a
visit to Taipei. At a luncheon he was asked to say a few
words. Since he spoke not a word of Chinese, his address
was to be translated by an interpreter sentence by sentence.
"Well," he began, "I just want you to know that I'm tickled to
death to be here."
A look of agony appeared on the interpreter's face.
"This poor man," he said in halting Chinese, "scratches
himself until he dies, only to be with you."
Thanks to Martin for this story:
"Birds and Bees"
A father asks his 10-year-old son if he knows
About the birds and the bees.
"I don't want to know!" the child says, bursting
Into tears.
"Promise me you won't tell me!"
Confused, the father asks what's wrong.
"Oh, dad," the boy sobs.
"When I was six, I got the 'There's no Santa Speech.'
"At seven, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' Speech.'
"When I was eight, you hit me with the ' There's no tooth
fairy' speech.
"If you're going to tell me that grown ups don't
really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."
Click on the picture for the large version
Bigamy
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
David Smith, 38, Oklahoma City, OK
Jailed After Setting His Father On Fire
After Father Complained About Loud Music
Reported by The Weekly Vice
David Smith, a 38-year-old Oklahoma man, has jailed Monday
after he allegedly set his father on fire during an argument
over loud music.
According to Oklahoma City Police, Smith was sitting on his
bedroom floor listening to music when his father walked in
and asked him to turn the music down.
Instead, Smith turned the music up, which sparked an argument
between the two men. In retaliation, Smith grabbed a can of
gasoline from the kitchen, poured it on his father, then used
a cigarette to set him on fire.
The father and a woman living at the residence put out the
flames while Smith fled the scene. The victim was rushed
to an area hospital where he was treated for burns to his
chest, legs and face.
Police located Smith walking down a street wearing a necklace
made out of prescription pills. He did not have a prescription
for the pills.
He was booked into the Oklahoma County Jail and charged with
attempted murder, first-degree arson and possession of a
controlled substance without a prescription.
Tech Support Pits
From: Ann
Re: CrapCleaner
Dear Webby
I have been using Ccleaner and just love it,
Is there a way I can set it to run automatically???
I have it set to start when the pc starts, but for some
reason, it doesn't clean, and also doesn't get into the
bottom right side of the toolbar
Thanks
Ann
Dear Ann
It's best to run CrapCleaner before shutting down, or
whenever your memory gets too bunged up. A Windows
start-up is like the proverbial "Chinese Fire Drill"
and it's best not to add anything to that.
The reason you don't see CrapCleaner at the bottom right
side of the toolbar, where the running programs are, is
because once CrapCleaner has done it's chores, it politely
exits and goes away. It does not use up any resources while
it waits for the next time you need it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Using a Back Scratcher to Retrieve Dropped Items
I am not able to get down on my knees to retrieve something
I dropped if it has ended up too far to just bend over and
pick up. So one day I used my new back scratcher to bring
the item closer to me. This worked so well that now I keep
a back scratcher by my desk here all the time and it has
saved me so much aggravation.
By Peggy B from Philadelphia, PA
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks
to paint the seat on their commode. Finally, he got around
to doing it while Lucy was out. He left to take care of
another matter before she returned. She came in and
undressed to take a shower. Before getting in the shower,
she sat on the commode. As she tried to stand up, she
realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her
to the commode seat. About that time, Charlie got home and
realized her predicament.
They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever.
Finally, In desperation, Charlie undid the commode seat
bolts. Lucy wrapped a sheet around herself and Charlie
drove her to the Hospital Emergency Room. The ER Doctor
got her into a position where he could study how to free
her. Lucy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by
saying "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything
like this before".
The Doctor replied "Actually, I've seen a lot of them.
I just never saw one FRAMED before
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully.
From morning til night (and sometimes later), she was always
complaining about something. The only time he got any relief
was when he was out plowing with his old mule.
He tried to plow a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch
in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a
stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began
haranguing him again.
Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.
All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet;
caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on
the spot.
At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed
something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach
the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in
agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would
listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.
This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old
farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old
farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with
the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all
the men.
The old farmer said, "Well, the women would come up and say
something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her
dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."
"And what about the men?" the minister asked.
"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."
A man was on Regent Street in London and entered a
very posh gourmet food shop.
A salesperson in a morning coat with tails approached
and politely asked, "May I help to you, sir?"
"Yes," replied the customer, "I would like to buy a
pound of lox."
"No, no," responded the dignified salesperson, "you
mean 'smoked salmon'."
"Okay, a pound of smoked salmon."
"Anything else?"
"Yes, a dozen blintzes."
"No, no. You mean 'crepes'."
"Okay, a dozen crepes."
"Anything else?"
"Yes, A pound of chopped liver."
"No, no. You mean 'pate'."
"Okay," said the Jewish patron, "a pound of pate, and
I'd like you to deliver this Saturday morning."
"Sir," said the indignant salesperson, "we don't
schlep chazzerai on Shabbos."
Today, April 30, in
0030 Jesus of Nazareth was crucified.
0313 Licinius unified the whole of the eastern empire under
his own rule.
1250 King Louis IX of France was ransomed for one million
dollars.
1527 Henry VIII and King Francis of France signed the
treaty of Westminster.
1725 Spain withdrew from Quadruple Alliance.
1789 George Washington took office as first elected
U.S. president.
1803 The U.S. purchased the Louisiana Territory from
France for $15 million.
1849 The republican patriot and guerrilla leader Giuseppe
Garabaldi repulsed a French attack on Rome.
1864 Work began on the Dams along the Red River. The work
would allow Union General Nathaniel Banks' troops to sail
over the rapids above Alexandria, Louisiana.
1900 Hawaii was organized as an official U.S. territory.
1900 Casey Jones was killed while trying to save the
runaway train "Cannonball Express."
1930 The Soviet Union proposed a military alliance with
France and Great Britain.
1939 The first railroad car equipped with fluorescent lights
was put into service. The train car was known as the
"General Pershing Zephyr."
1943 The British submarine HMS Seraph dropped 'the man who
never was,' a dead man the British planted with false
invasion plans, into the Mediterranean off the coast of Spain.
1945 Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun died. They had been married
for one day. One week later Germany surrendered unconditionally.
1947 The name of Boulder Dam, in Nevada, was changed back to
Hoover Dam.
1968 U.S. Marines attacked a division of North Vietnamese
in the village of Dai Do.
1970 U.S. troops invaded Cambodia to disrupt North Vietnamese
Army base areas. The announcement by U.S. President Nixon
led to widespread protests.
1972 The North Vietnamese launched an invasion of the South.
1975 Communists North Vietnamese troops entered the
Independence Palace of South Vietnam in Saigon.
11 Marines lifted off of the U.S. Embassy were the last
soldiers to evacuate.
1980 Terrorists seized the Iranian Embassy in London.
1984 U.S. President Reagan signed cultural and scientific
agreements with China. He also signed a tax accord that
would make it easier for American companies to operate
in China.
1991 An estimated 125,000 people were killed in a cyclone
that hit Bangladesh.
1998 NATO was expanded to include Poland, Hungary and the
Czech Republic. The three nations were formally admitted
the following April at NATO's 50th anniversary summit.
2002 Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf was overwhelmingly
approved for another five years as president.
2013 smiled
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Monday, April 29, 2013, 10:28 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, April 29.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
If you are not criticized, you may not be doing much.
--- Donald H. Rumsfeld
The intelligent man finds almost everything ridiculous,
the sensible man hardly anything.
-=- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a
London bus for five miles along its route, all the while
attempting to avoid the ticket collector. Finally, the
conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up:
"You've been on for five miles--that'll be 50p, please,
and 10p for your suitcase."
The Scotsman responds: "I ha'not, I want a ha'penny fare,
just got on this vera moment."
They begin to argue, and the ticket collector becomes more
and more enraged and finally, as the bus is passing over
London bridge, he grabs the Scotsman's suitcase, and hurls
it out of the bus.
It lands in the river and sinks without a trace.
The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the
ticket collector, "Not only are ya trin' to overcharge
me for the ticket -- but now you're gone 'n drowned me
boy Jonny."
Back during the days of the Soviet Union, it took 10 years
to get a car after you paid for one.
Once, a young guy went to the car dealership to order a car.
He paid the money, and the asked when can he come and get
the car.
"It will be here, waiting for you, exactly 10 years from
today".
The man signed the papers, started waliking away and then
stooped, turned and asked the salesman: "Wait, will it be
ready at the morning or at the afternnon".
"What difference does it make?", asked the salesman.
"Well", answered the man, "the plumber is coming in
the morning".
Click on the picture for the large version
Sequoia National Park Sierra Nevada
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Sara Elizabeth Soto, 25, Weatherford, Texas
Jailed After Crawling Naked Through Couple's Doggy
Door, Attempting To Find Phone In Their Bath Tub
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Sara Elizabeth Soto, a 25-year-old Texas woman, was jailed
Tuesday after she allegedly crawled naked into a couple's
home through a doggy door and was later found sitting in
their bath tub.
According to police, officers were dispatched to a
Weatherford residence around 1:45 a.m. Tuesday morning after
the homeowner called 911 to report that an unknown naked
woman was sitting in his bath tub.
Investigators say Soto removed the dress she was wearing so
that she would be able to crawl through the couple's doggy
door.
The couple became alarmed when they thought they heard a
noise in their kitchen. When the husband went to investigate,
he found that the doggy door attachment had been damaged.
Since the couple did not own a pet, the husband assumed that
a wild animal had entered the residence. While going room to
room to search for the animal, he discovered a naked Soto
sitting in his bath tub.
Arriving officers found Soto's black dress on the back porch
and asked her to put it back on. During questioning, Soto
stated that she had done nothing wrong and was merely trying
to use the telephone.
She was booked into the Parker County Jail and charged with
criminal trespass and criminal mischief. Her bond has been
set at $4,000.
Tech Support Pits
From: Lex
Re: Which Laptop
Dear Webby
Thank you so much for you very informative as well as
delightful newsletter. Please advise me as to what laptop
I should invest in. I have a pc at home, but I will begin
traveling with my job within the next two weeks,
(for a week at a time) and want to continue my computer
usage. My needs are rather basic such as sending email,
research on the net, keeping records/notes, yahoo
messenger to communicate with my friends and family
while away and staying in hotels. I would appreciate you
being very explicit as to what you think I should purchase
since I am not very computer literate.
Thanking you in advance for any help you might offer.
An Avid Dear Webby reader
Lex
Dear Lex
Avoid Windows 8. Even salesmen are reluctant to use it.
You are limited to Windows 7 with 4 or 8 GB of RAM.
Choose 8.
The same yuppies, who buy gold plated cast iron wrist-watches,
are paying premium prices for small and ligh-weight notebooks
to show off at Starbucks. Laptops with larger displays gather
dust at the dealers and are often surprisingly cheap.
One thing to watch out for is the socket for a phone line.
The liars at DELL claim that with everybody in China using
WiFi, dial-up has gone out of fashion, and that you will
just have to buy an external USB modem, if you want to fax
or use dial-up.
So, if the computer does not have that phone line socket,
similar but smaller than the networking socket, tell them
where to stuff it.
Especially since they usually have no clue where to get
an external USB modem, it is quite appropriate to get
noisy about that.
The only other consideration is warranty. Get three years
of next business day on site warranty.
Performance is irrelevant. If it can bring up Windows 7,
it can handle anything that you might throw a t it.
Compared to bringing up Windows 7, all your programs are
totally negligible.
Hard drive size is quite adequate nowadays. You probably
have a 20 or 40 GB drive in your home desktop.
If a laptop has 500 GB, that is plenty. Don't pay extra
for a 1 TeraByte or 2 Terabyte drive. No matter what size
drive you get, it will get filled to capacity in three years,
if you don't weed it out now and then. Just get anything in
the 50 - 500 Gb range and weed it out once a year.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Egg Carton for Painting Bolts
My son, Chris, was spray-painting bolts for a project.
They needed to be white on on the head and black on
the nut end. He used an egg carton to hold them.
It was easy to get good paint coverage and used
less paint.
Sally McQ
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian.
"What is it made of?" she asked.
"Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied.
"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as
much to you as pearls do to us."
"Yes, brave Oyster Slayer, they sure do." he replied.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A man was brought before the court on the charge of
refusing to obey a police officer.
"Why did you refuse to move on when asked to do so by the
officer?" the judge inquired, obviously wondering what
unexplained force could have given such a man strength
to buck a strong minion of the law.
"It's like this, your honor," he explained. "My wife said
I was to meet her at exactly twelve noon at that spot - and
I was forced to choose between man's law and wife's law."
A man walked by a table in a hotel and noticed three
men and a dog playing cards.
The dog was exhibiting an extraordinary performance.
"This is a very smart dog," the man commented.
"He's not so smart," said one of the irked players.
"Every time he gets a good hand he wags his tail."
Today, April 29, in
1289 Qala'un, the Sultan of Egypt, captured Tripoli.
1429 Joan of Arc lead Orleans, France, to victory over Britain.
1661 The Chinese Ming dynasty occupied Taiwan.
1672 King Louis XIV of France invaded the Netherlands.
1813 Rubber was patented by J.F. Hummel.
1852 The first edition of Peter Roget's Thesaurus published.
1858 Austrian troops invaded Piedmont.
1862 New Orleans fell to Union forces during the Civil War.
1913 Gideon Sundback patented an all-purpose zipper.
1924 An open revolt broke out in Santa Clara, Cuba.
1927 Construction of the Spirit of St. Louis was
completed for Lindbergh.
1945 The German Army in Italy surrendered
unconditionally to the Allies.
1945 In a bunker in Berlin, Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun
were married. Hitler designated Admiral Karl Doenitz
his successor.
1946 Twenty-eight former Japanese leaders were indicted
in Tokyo as war criminals.
1974 U.S. President Nixon announced he was releasing
edited transcripts of secretly made White House tape
recordings related to the Watergate scandal.
1975 The U.S. embassy in Vietnam was evacuated as North
Vietnamese forces fought their way into Saigon.
1984 In California, the Diablo Canyon nuclear reactor
went online after a long delay due to protests.
1990 The destruction of the Berlin Wall began.
1992 Exxon executive Sidney Reso was kidnapped outside
his Morris Township, NJ, home by Arthur Seale. Seale
was a former Exxon security official. Reso died while
in captivity.
1992 Rioting began after a jury decision to acquit
four Los Angeles policemen in the Rodney King beating
trial. 54 people were killed in 3 days.
1994 Israel and the PLO signed an agreement in Paris which
granted Palestinians broad authority to set taxes,
control trade and regulate banks under self-rule in the
Gaza Strip and Jericho.
1998 The U.S., Canada and Mexico end tariffs on $1 billion
in NAFTA trade.
1998 Brazil announced a plan to protect a large area of
Amazon forest. The area was about the size of Colorado.
2009 NATO expelled two Russian diplomats from NATO
headquarters in Brussels over a spy scandal in Estonia.
Russia's Foreign Ministry criticized the expulsions.
2013 smiled
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How to fix "MSIE needs to close" browser crashes?
Sunday, April 28, 2013, 10:39 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Sunday, April 28.
We had a nice and rambunctious Chinook.
The snow is history, and the last of last fall's leaves
have departed for Toronto and thereabouts. Well, actually,
the leaves will be ground to powder and will fertilize
the prairies, but Toronto and Chicago will be getting snow
or a lot of rain in about 5 - 6 days.
Once the Chinook has gone across the prairies, they call
it "The Alberta Clipper".
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
I'm not sure I want popular opinion on my side -- I've noticed
those with the most opinions often have the fewest facts.
--- Bethania McKenstry
You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?
--- George Bernard Shaw
A young boy was one of those little terrors who was hard to
control. His father was surprised when his wife suggested
that they buy him a bicycle for his birthday.
He said, "Do you really believe that will improve his behavior?"
She said, "Well, no, but it will spread it over a wider area."
The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his
wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought.
"How could you do this!" he exclaimed.
"I don't know," she wailed,
"I was standing in the store looking at the dress on sale.
Then I found myself trying it on.
It was like the Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you
look great in that dress. You should buy it.'"
"Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him!
Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!"
"I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It looks great
from back here, too."
Click on the picture for the large version
Sequoia National Park Sierra Nevada
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Stephanie Lopez, 23, Phoenix, AZ
Jailed for Marijuana and pipe in her vagina
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Stephanie Anne Lopez, a 23-year-old Arizona woman, was jailed
Saturday after she allegedly stashed marijuana and a glass
pipe inside her vagina.
According to Phoenix Police, an officer was on routine patrol
early Saturday morning when he notice an odor of marijuana
coming from a vehicle that was driving in front of him with
the windows rolled down.
The vehicle was also changing lanes erratically, so the
officer initiated a traffic stop in a Burger King parking
lot.
When the officer approached the vehicle, the smell of
marijuana became intense. The officer then spoke with the
driver, 25-year-old Alberto Reyna, who admitted that he had
a .380 handgun in his back pocket. The officer placed Reyna
in handcuffs and seated him on the curb.
The passenger, Stephanie Lopez, was also asked to sit on the
curb next to Reyna while the officer searched the vehicle.
That's when Stephanie Lopez reportedly blurted out that the
marijuana the officer was looking for was hidden inside her
vagina.
The officer proceeded to search the vehicle, which turned
up a loaded .45 handgun in the center console.
Lopez told the officer that she hid the marijuana and glass
pipe inside her vagina for her boyfriend.
She was booked into jail and charged with possession of
marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia.
Reyna was booked into jail and charged with possession of
drug paraphernalia, drug violation and possession of a
weapon during a drug offense.
Tech Support Pits
From: OP
Re: MSIE needs to close
Dear Webby
as usual i have another problem. the message
"internet explorer has encountered a problem and needs to
close " pop's up at random and knocks me off the net. any
suggestions?
OP
Dear OP
That usually is a sign of bunged up memory.
Run CrapCleaner and reboot.
That should fix the problem for a week or so.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Fragrant Bed Pillows
I love it when the air around me smells fragrant. Here's a
tip for good smelling bed linens. Find a fabric softener
sheet whose scent you love, and cut it in half. Put one
or both halves between the pillowcase and the bed pillow
(one half on each side of the pillow). Every time you put
your head on the pillow, you smell the fragrance just a
little. It is not overwhelming. My guests often comment
how nice it smells on the guest pillows.
By Nicki from Warrensburg, MO
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
A young couple came into the church office to fill out a
pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had
never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and
the pastor tried to put him at ease. When they came to the
question, "Are you entering this marriage of your own free
will?"
There was a long pause. Finally, the girl looked over at
the apprehensive young man and said, "Put down 'yes.'"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field
and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field,
with the control tower in the middle. One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
If it is an American Airlines Flight, it is 3 o'clock.
If it is an Air Force, it is 1500 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12
and the little hand is on the 3.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's probably Sunday afternoon.
If it's a Coast Guard aircraft it's two hours to Happy Hour.
If it is a private airplane, it's around 3 PM."
A new bride moves into a small home on her husband's ranch.
As she's putting her things away, she stores a shoebox on a
shelf in her closet and asks her husband never to touch it.
For 50 years, the man leaves the box alone. Then, as his
wife is old and dying, he is putting their affairs in order
and finds the box again. Opening it, he finds two doilies
and $82,500 in cash.
He takes the box to her and asks about the contents.
"My mother gave me that box the day we married," she explains.
"She told me to make a doily to help ease my frustrations
every time I got mad enough at you, that I wanted to bash
your head in."
Her husband is touched that in 50 years she had been mad
at him only twice.
"But what's the $82,500 for?" he asks.
"Oh, that's the money I made selling the doilies."
Today, April 27, in
0357 - Constantius II visited Rome for the first time.
1282 - Villagers in Palermo led a revolt against French rule
in Sicily.
1635 - Virginia Governor John Harvey was accused of treason
and removed from office.
1686 - The first volume of Isaac Newton's "Principia Mathamatic"
was published.
1789 - A mutiny on the British ship Bounty took place when a
rebel crew took the ship and set sail to Pitcairn Island.
The mutineers left Captain W. Bligh and 18 sailors adrift.
1818 - U.S. President James Monroe proclaimed naval disarmament
on the Great Lakes and Lake Champlain.
1896 - The Addressograph was patented by J.S. Duncan.
1902 - A revolution broke out in the Dominican Republic.
1910 - First night air flight was performed by Claude
Grahame-White in England.
1914 - W.H. Carrier patented the design of his air conditioner.
1916 - The British declared martial law throughout Ireland.
1919 - The League of Nations was founded.
1920 - Azerbaijan joined the USSR.
1932 - The yellow fever vaccine for humans was announced.
1937 - The first animated-cartoon electric sign was displayed
on a building on Broadway in New York City. It was created by
Douglas Leight.
1945 - Benito Mussolini and his mistress Clara Petacci were
executed by Italian partisans as they attempted to flee
the country.
1946 - The Allies indicted Tojo with 55 counts of war crimes.
1947 - Norwegian anthropologist Thor Heyerdahl and five others
set out in a balsa wood raft known as Kon Tiki to prove that
Peruvian Indians could have settled in Polynesia. The trip
began in Peru and took 101 days to complete the crossing of
the Pacific Ocean.
1952 - The U.S. occupation of Japan officially ended when a
treaty with the U.S. and 47 other countries went into effect.
1953 - French troops evacuated northern Laos.
1965 - The U.S. Army and Marines invaded the Dominican Republic
to evacuate Americans.
1967 - Muhammad Ali refused induction into the U.S. Army and
was stripped of boxing title. He cited religious grounds
for his refusal.
1969 - Charles de Gaulle resigned as president of France.
1974 - The last Americans were evacuated from Saigon.
1988 - In Maui, HI, one flight attendant was killed when the
fuselage of a Boeing 737 ripped open in mid-flight.
1989 - Mobil announced that they were divesting from South
Africa because congressional restrictions were too costly.
1994 - Former CIA official Aldrich Ames, who had given U.S.
secrets to the Soviet Union and then Russia, pled guilty to
espionage and tax evasion. He was sentenced to life in prison
without parole.
1996 - U.S. President Clinton gave a 4 1/2 hour videotaped
testimony as a defense witness in the criminal trial of his
former Whitewater business partners.
1997 - A worldwide treaty to ban chemical weapons took effect.
Russia and other countries such as Iraq and North Korea did
not sign.
2001 - A Russian rocket launched from Central Asia with the
first space tourist aboard. The crew consisted of California
businessman Dennis Tito and two cosmonauts. The destination
was the international space station.
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How to set the default picture viewer
Saturday, April 27, 2013, 09:47 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Saturday, April 27.
Thank you, Richard!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
--- Arthur C. Clarke (1917 - )
Udo to Ticket Agent: I want to buy a bus ticket
for Norwald.
Ticket Agent, Searching Book: Norwald? Let me find that.
Hmm... never heard of it. Let me see...
Norwald. I don't see Norwald listed, and I can't find
it on the map. Just where is Norwald, anyway?
Udo: Over there. He's my brother-in-law.
One day a child at my four-year-old's preschool class told
her classmates that she needed a 'damp towel.'
Some of the other kids thought she said a naughty word
and told on her.
The teacher stepped in to explain, "If your mommy asked
you to bring her a damp towel, what does she want?"
A little girl blurted out, "She means she wants that towel
right friggin' now!"
Click on the picture for the large version
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Courtney Jarrell, 22, Riverton, Utah
Jailed for Raping Female Student
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Courtney Jarrell, a 22-year-old math teacher and basketball
coach at Riverton High School, has been jailed after she
allegedly raped a female student.
According to police, Jarrell engaged in illegal sexual
activity with a 17-year-old female who also attends Riverton
High School. The alleged sexual activity took place in
February and March of this year and reportedly took place
at Jarrell's home.
In at last one instance, Jarrel forcibly raped the teen,
according to charging documents.
Jordan School District administrators placed Jarrel on
leave last month when the allegations first surfaced. She
resigned from the school on Friday, the same day she was
charged.
Jarrell was booked into jail and charged with felony counts
of rape and forcible sexual abuse. She is scheduled to make
her next court appearance on May 16.
Tech Support Pits
From: George
Re: Default picture viewer
Dear Webby,
Is there any way I can get the Windows Picture and FAX
Viewer to open images automatically instead of Microsoft
Photo Editor when I click on Photos and Images? I can right
click on the thumbnail and then choose the program, but
that is an extra step and I want it automatic on left click!
George
Dear George
While I would not use either of those programs myself,
I use PSP, there is a way that you can tell Windows
what program to use by default.
Click on START,
Control Panel
Folder Options
File Types
In there find the icons for GIF, JPG, etc
highlight them and click on CHANGE
then select the Windows Picture and Fax viewer.
Do that for all picture formats that you want to open
automatically with that program.
In Windows 7:
Click on START,
Control Panel
Default Programs
Associate a File Type
Warning, unlike in XP, in Windows 7 that is going to take
a while. Don't touch anything. Just go make some coffee.
Eventually it will open and show you all the file types,
and you can associate them with your choice of program.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Fragrant Bed Pillows
I love it when the air around me smells fragrant. Here's a
tip for good smelling bed linens. Find a fabric softener
sheet whose scent you love, and cut it in half. Put one
or both halves between the pillowcase and the bed pillow
(one half on each side of the pillow). Every time you put
your head on the pillow, you smell the fragrance just a
little. It is not overwhelming. My guests often comment
how nice it smells on the guest pillows.
By Nicki from Warrensburg, MO
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits.
The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health
and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the
employee's pay.
She said, "My last employer had full health coverage, as
well as five years salary for life insurance and a month's
sick leave AND they paid the full premiums."
"I can't help but asking madam why you would leave a job
with such benefits," the interviewer replied.
The woman shrugged her shoulders and said, "The company went
bankrupt."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
Once upon a time a young lad was born without a belly button.
In its place was a golden screw. All the doctors told his
mother that there was nothing that they could do. Like it or
not he was stuck with it.
All the years of growing up was real tough on him, as all
who saw the screw made fun of him. He avoided ever leaving
his house and thus never made any friends.
One day a mysterious stranger saw his belly and told him of
a swami in Tibet that could get rid of the screw for him. He
was thrilled. The next day he took all of his life's savings
and bought a ticket to Nepal.
After several days of climbing up steep cliffs, he came upon
a giant monastery. The swami knew exactly why he had come.
He was told to sleep in the highest tower of the monastery
and the following day when he awoke, the screw would have
been removed.
The man immediately went to the room and fell asleep. During
the night while he slept, a purple fog floated in an open
window bearing in it's mist a golden screwdriver. In just
moments, the screw-driver removed the screw and disappeared
out of the window.
The next morning when he woke, he saw the golden screw laying
on the pillow next to him. Reaching down, he felt his navel,
and there was no screw there!
Jubilant, he leaped out of bed
and his butt fell off.
Today, April 27, in
1296 The Scots were defeated by Edward I at Battle of Dunbar.
1509 Pope Julius II excommunicated the Italian state of Venice.
1521 Portuguese explorer Ferdinand Magellan was killed by
natives in the Philippines.
1565 The first Spanish settlement in Philippines was
established in Cebu City.
1805 A force led by U.S. Marines captured the city of Derna,
on the shores of Tripoli.
1813 Americans under Gen. Pike capture York (present day
Toronto) the seat of government in Ontario.
1861 U.S. President Lincoln suspended the writ of habeas
corpus.
1861 West Virginia seceded from Virginia after Virginia
seceded from the Union during the American Civil War.
1865 In the U.S. the Sultana exploded while carrying
2,300 Union POWs. Between 1,400 2,000 were killed.
1880 Francis Clarke and M.G. Foster patented the
electrical hearing aid.
1909 The sultan of Turkey, Abdul Hamid II, was overthrown.
1937 German bombers devastated Guernica, Spain.
1938 Geraldine Apponyi married King Zog of Albania.
She was the first American woman to become a queen.
1945 The Second Republic was founded in Austria.
1946 The SS African Star was placed in service.
It was the first commercial ship to be equipped
with radar.
1950 South Africa passed the Group Areas Act, which
formally segregated races.
1953 The U.S. offered $50,000 and political asylum
to any Communist pilot that delivered a MIG jet.
1965 "Pampers" were patented by R.C. Duncan.
1975 Saigon was encircled by North Vietnamese troops.
1978 Pro-Soviet Marxists seized control of Afghanistan.
1984 In London, Libyan gunmen left the Libyan Embassy 11
days after killing a policewoman and wounding 10 others.
1989 Student protestors took over Tiananmen Square in
Beijing.
1987 The U.S. Justice Department barred Austrian President
Kurt Waldheim from entering the U.S. He was accused of
aiding in the deportation and execution of thousands of
Jews and others as a German Army officer during WWII,
even though he was too young for that.
2005 The A380, the world's largest jetliner, completed
its maiden flight. The passenger capability was 840.
2006 In New York, NY, construction began on the
1,776-foot Freedom Tower on the site of former
World Trade Center.
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Friday, April 26, 2013, 09:18 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Friday, April 26.
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.
--- John F. Kennedy (1917 - 1963)
A myth is a religion in which no one any longer believes.
--- James Feibleman
>From Bob
My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper.
One evening my dad returned home from work, walked into the
kitchen and teased her, "You know, dear, I can write my name
in the dust on the mantel."
Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Yes, darling, I know.
That's why I married a college graduate."
>From a fisherman, who wants to remain anonymous
There is no such thing as too much equipment.
When in doubt, exaggerate.
Everyone has a story about the one that got away.
Fish always start to grow after they get away.
Keep one eye on the bobbers at all times.
The way to a fisherman's heart is through his fly.
You never forget your first bite.
A fishing line has a hook at one end and
an optimist at the other.
Life is a can of worms.
The fishing is always better on the other
side of the lake.
When the going gets tough,
the tough go fishing.
Click on the picture for the large version
Ghetto Blaster
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Katrina Tisdale, 47, St. Petersburg, Floriduh
Jailed for calling 911, Asking Police For Help
Getting Refund From Her Drug Dealer
Reported by The Smoking Gun
After handing over her last $50 to a drug dealer for
cocaine and marijuana, a Florida woman suffering from
buyer’s remorse called 911 and asked cops for help in
securing a refund.
Katrina Tisdale, 47, explained to St. Petersburg police
that she would be penniless until her next Social Security
disability check arrived. Hence the pressing need to
recover her $50 from the unnamed narcotics salesman.
Despite Tisdale’s explanation for her two calls to 911
Monday evening, officers arrested her for misusing the
police emergency system. Seen in the above mug shot,
Tisdale was booked into the Pinellas County jail, where
she is being held on $100 bond.
According to jail records, Tisdale has been arrested
many times over the past several years, including six
arrests for cocaine possession. Tisdale was convicted
in mid-2011 of calling 911 to falsely report that she
had been robbed by her drug dealer.
Since she apparently had already used the dope, that
she wanted a refund for, she was not chraged for
possession this time.
Tech Support Pits
From: Daniel
Re: AutoPlay for Windows XP
Dear Webby,
will the advice you gave gary work with windoesxp sp2 ?
i have the same problem.
thanks,
Daniel
Dear Daniel
No, for XP there is a different procedure.
Enabling AutoPlay on a data and audio CD (Windows XP)
Open My Computer or Explorer
Highlight the CD-ROM drive,
right click the CD-ROM drive and click properties.
Click the AutoPlay tab.
Within this section you will be able to specify all Windows
AutoPlay features.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
|
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Save Money on Plants
Save Money on PlantsPlants and shrubs for the garden seem
to get more expensive every year. I use a little trick when
I plant new items. Some plants that are bound together in
pots can be separated and you can get two or sometime three
plants from one pot.
I use a small dry wall saw to saw all the way through the
plant and plant it right away. This saw works better for
me than a knife. I did this for several new plants and
shrubs that I purchased this spring and am happy to say
they are all doing great.
By xintexas from San Antonio, TX
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
A man was visiting his elderly neighbor and was given a
tour of his home.
In the den was a stuffed lion. The neighbor asked,
"When did you bag him?"
The old man said proudly, "That was three years ago,
when I went hunting with my ex-wife and her mother."
"What's he stuffed with?" asked the neighbor.
"Guess!" replied the old man
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
While the family was sitting around the dinner table,
Jennifer, 5, turned to her brother Andy, 3, and pointed
to her dad. "That's not your real father," she said,
startling the whole family.
"Yes, he is!" Andy replied.
"No, he's not," Jennifer insisted.
"God is your heavenly father."
Then pointing at her dad, she said,
"That's your homely father!"
So, ....
Lack of gun stores causes cold weather,
and cold weather causes gun related murders?
Or is it the other way around?
Today, April 26, in
1514 Copernicus made his first observations of Saturn.
1607 The British established an American colony at Cape Henry,
Virginia. It was the first permanent English establishment
in the Western Hemisphere.
1865 John Wilkes Booth was killed by the U.S. Federal Cavalry.
1937 German planes attacked Guernica, Spain, during the
Spanish Civil War.
1968 Students seized the administration building at Ohio
State University.
1982 The British announced that Argentina had surrendered
on Falklands.
1986 The world’s worst nuclear disaster to date occurred at
Chernobyl, Ukraine. Thirty-one people died in the incident and
many more were exposed to radioactive material.
2002 In Erfurt, Germany, an expelled student killed 17 people
at his former school. The student then killed himself.
2013 smiled
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Uploading pictures from a Hotel computer
Thursday, April 25, 2013, 10:12 AM
Posted by Administrator
Good Morning, !
Today is Thursday, April 25.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
| If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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The really frightening thing about middle age
is that you know you'll grow out of it.
--- Doris Day
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
--- Napoleon Bonaparte
While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy
passing out peanuts and cokes to everyone. There were
about sixteen flights lined up waiting to get clearance to
take off.
Then the other Stewardess got a message from the Pilot that
the tower said the wind had changed 180 degrees and they
were first in line to take off, and to have everyone buckle up.
Without thinking she just announced "Please buckle up,
grab your drinks and hold your nuts, we're taking off".
Speaking of nuts, ....
Goadster, Buckethead, and Graahound were all locked away
in the Armstrong Mental Institution for many many years.
(Where they belonged, mind you.)
One day, the head quack tells them that if they pass a test
he wanted to administer to them, they'd be deemed mentally
competent and free to leave the nut house. Should they fail,
however, they'd be locked away for another five years of
observation.
All three took the doc up on his offer. The four of them went
to the hospital's indoor pool. The pool was drained of water.
The doctor leads the patients up to the diving platform.
The doctor motions to Goadster. "Jump."
Without hesitation, Goadster leaps off the platform, right
into the pool, breaking both arms in the process.
The doctor notes this on his clipboard and tells Buckethead,
"Jump."
Also without hesitation, Buckethead flies off the platform into
the empty poll, breaking both of his legs.
After noting the results on his clipboard, the doctor tells
Graahound, "Jump."
Graahound shakes his head. "Naw. I don't think so."
The doctor notes this on his clipboard rather enthusiastically
and says, "Congratulations, 'Hound. You're a free man.
Just tell me one thing. Why didn't you jump?"
"Easy," Graahound says, "I can't swim."
Click on the picture for the large version
Milkyway over Cathedral Valley, Capital Reef National Park, Utah
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to
Lynda Bernhisel, 21, Philadelphia, PA
Jailed After Crushing Dog's Skull With Broom Handle
and Failing To Show Up To Court On Child Abuse Charge
Reported by The Weekly Vice
Lynda Bernhisel, a 21-year-old Pennsylvania woman, was jailed
Friday after she allegedly crushed a dog's skull with a
broomstick after failing to show up to court for a child
abuse charge.
According to police, Bernhisel stirred up a confrontation
with her neighbor by first insulting the neighbor's father-in-law
who is dying of cancer.
The neighbor, identified as Dana Cassidy, told police that
Bernhisel frequently antagonized her, so when Bernhisel
continued with the harassment she decided to stand her
ground and argue back.
That's when Bernhisel grabbed a wooden broomstick handle
and began beating Cassidy's little dog with it. When Cassidy
tried to intervene, Bernhisel allegedly struck her with the
handle before continuing to beat the dog in the head.
Investigators say Bernhisel struck the dog repeatedly until
his skull was crushed in.
When police arrived on the scene, the dog was dead due to
his injuries and Cassidy was found with large lacerations
to her arm and leg.
Bernhisel was immediately taken into custody. Officers also
learned that a warrant had been issued for Bernhisel's arrest
after she failed to show up for court last August to answer
a child abuse charge.
Court records indicate Bernhisel was arrested in October 2011
after she was found sleeping with a male companion inside a
restaurant at or near the Holiday Inn in Logan Township. The
pair were unable to be aroused until police arrived on the
scene and appeared disoriented when officers were finally able
to get them to sit up.
As the couple was being taken into custody, the male companion
told officers that Bernhisel's baby had been left alone in
a room at the hotel.
Then, according to court records, Bernhisel reportedly failed
to show up for a court ordered status hearing after a
Gloucester County grand jury indicted her on the child
abuse charge.
Bernhisel was booked into jail on a new charges of animal
cruelty and aggravated assault. Her bail has been set at $5,000.
Tech Support Pits
From: Dixie
Re: Uploading pictures
Dear Webby,
Is there an easy way to upload pictures from a hotel lobby
computer or cyber cafe, without having to install any
programs first? I did get that $12 lexar chip reader that
you recommended and it works fine at home. As soon
I put the camera memory chip into it, Windows sees a new
harddrive, the chip reader.
Dixie
Dear Dixie
Don't try to use drobbox from a hotel lobby computer!
Chances are that somebody already has done that, and now
all camera uploads go straight to that account, as soon
as you plug your camera. To UNlink that computer from a
DropBox account, you need the user name and password of
whoever set up that account, maybe years ago.
If that account is set to delete the pictures from the
camera after uploading, you loose them and won't know
until it is too late!
If you can't take a laptop along, get yourself some cheap
web space. You can get a sub-directory like dixie.dawna.com
for $2 a month. Then you can simply log on with an FTP
program, and drag (copy) the pictures from the camera to
your site.
Then, when you get home again, you drag (copy) them from
your site to your home computer. Nothing to it, and if you
don't need your site any more until the next year, simply
send an email to cansel it.
Some places insist on a $10 minimum to try to cover set-up
and billing cost, but with Webby, if you are a subscriber,
you can get a single month for $2. There are no refunds,
though, for unused portions of a month.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the cost of the
Humor Letter, please donate what you can! |
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Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com
Fabric Softener Tip:
Add vinegar to rinse cycle instead of using fabric softener.
Works great. Removes residue and odors. Also helps to keep
washing machine and hoses fresh and clean too.
Source: http://www.duggarfamily.com/recipes.html
By Erin813 from Seffner, FL
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Yes, you CAN repair LCD monitors!
A screwdriver and this manual, and you can do it.
Get LCD Monitor Repair!
Thanks to Rick for this story:
After four years of separation, my wife and I finally
divorced amicably. I wanted to date again, but I had no
idea of how to start, so I decided to look in the personals
column of the local newspaper. After reading through
all the listings, I circled three that seemed possible in
terms of age and interest, but I put off calling them.
Two days later, there was a message on my answering
machine from my ex-wife .
"I came over to your house to borrow some tools today
and saw the ads you circled in the paper. Don't call the
one in the second column. It's me. And the one in the
third column is my mother."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe.
If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request. |
A group of young medical students started their psychiatry
rotation and were a little worried about what they would
encounter, after hearing all the rumors from other students.
On the first day, they went to the Psychiatric ward and were
quite relieved when the Registrar, Dr. Nathaniel Bigelow,
introduced himself and took the group into the teaching room.
Dr. Bigelow told the medical students about all the patients
on the ward, with precise details and complete information,
and then entertained them with stories about staff members,
who seemed to be even nuttier than the patients.
Unfortunately, the worries of young medical students returned
in an instant, when the real Registrar entered the teaching room
and said, "Good morning, everyone. I am Doctor David Filmore.
I see, you have met Bigelow, here. He has been one of our
patients for quite some time, now."
Thanks to Michelle for this one:
The garbage man came early today. I heard his truck from
inside the house so I threw on my robe and ran outside to
catch him.
He was pulling away from the neighbors curb when he
saw me running and waiving my arms. "Hey! Wait!"
I yelled. "Am I too late?"
He looked me up and down and said,
"Nah, just jump right in."
Today, April 25, in
1590 The Sultan of Morocco launched his successful attack to capture
Timbuktu.
1644 The Ming Chongzhen emperor committed suicide by
hanging himself.
1684 A patent was granted for the thimble.
1707 At the Battle of Almansa, Franco-Spanish forces defeated
the Anglo-Portugese.
1792 The guillotine was first used to execute highwayman
Nicolas J. Pelletier.
1846 The Mexican-American War ignited as a result of disputes
over claims to Texas boundaries. The outcome of the war fixed
Texas' southern boundary at the Rio Grande River.
1859 Work began on the Suez Canal in Egypt.
1860 The first Japanese diplomats to visit a foreign power
reached Washington, DC. They remained in the U.S. capital for
several weeks while discussing expansion of trade with the
United States.
1862 Union Admiral Farragut occupied New Orleans, LA.
1867 Tokyo was opened for foreign trade.
1882 French commander Henri Riviere seized the citadel of Hanoi
in Indochina.
1898 The U.S. declared war on Spain. Spain had declared war on
the U.S. the day before.
1901 New York became the first state to require license plates
for cars. The fee was $1.
1915 During World War I, Australian and New Zealand troops
landed at Gallipoli in Turkey in hopes of attacking the
Central Powers from below. The attack was unsuccessful.
1926 In Iran, Reza Kahn was crowned Shah and choose the
name "Pehlevi."
1928 A seeing eye dog was used for the first time.
1945 U.S. and Soviet forces met at Torgau, Germany on
Elbe River.
1945 Delegates from about 50 countries met in San Francisco
to organize the United Nations.
1952 After a three-day fight against Chinese Communist Forces,
the Gloucestershire Regiment was annihilated on
"Gloucester Hill," in Korea.
1953 U.S. Senator Wayne Morse ended the longest speech in U.S.
Senate history. The speech on the Offshore Oil Bill lasted 22
hours and 26 minutes.
1953 Dr. James D. Watson and Dr. Francis H.C. Crick suggested
the double helix structure of DNA.
1957 Operations began at the first experimental sodium nuclear
reactor.
1959 St. Lawrence Seaway opened to shipping. The water way connects
the Great Lakes and the Atlantic Ocean.
1961 Robert Noyce was granted a patent for the integrated circuit.
1962 The U.S. spacecraft, Ranger, crashed on the Moon.
1967 Colorado Governor John Love signed the first law legalizing
abortion in the U.S.
1971 The country of Bangladesh was established.
1974 Portuguese dictator Antonio Salazar was overthrown in a
military coup.
1980 In Iran, a commando mission to rescue hostages was aborted
after mechanical problems disabled three of the eight helicopters
involved. During the evacuation, a helicopter and a transport
plan collided and exploded. Eight U.S. servicemen were killed.
The mission was aimed at freeing American hostages that had been
taken at the U.S. embassy in Tehran on November 4, 1979. The
event took place April 24th Washington, DC, time.
1982 In accordance with Camp David agreements, Israel completed
its Sinai withdrawal.
1983 Soviet leader Yuri V. Andropov invited Samantha Smith to
visit his country after receiving a letter in which the U.S.
schoolgirl expressed fears about nuclear war.
1983 The Pioneer 10 spacecraft crossed Pluto's orbit, speeding on
its endless voyage through the Milky Way.
1984 In France, over one million people demonstrated to show they
favored the decentralization of education.
1987 In Washington, DC, 100,000 people protested the U.S. policy
in Central America.
1988 In Israel, John "Ivan the Terrible" Demjanuk was sentenced to
death as a Nazi war criminal.
1990 Sandinista rule ended in Nicaragua.
1990 The U.S. Hubble Space Telescope was placed into Earth's orbit.
It was released by the space shuttle Discovery.
1992 Islamic forces in Afghanistan took control of most of the capital
of Kabul following the collapse of the Communist government.
1996 The main assembly of the Palestine Liberation Organization voted
to revoke clauses in its charter that called for an armed struggle to
destroy Israel.
1998 U.S. first lady Hillary Rodham Clinton was questioned by
Whitewater prosecutors on videotape about her work as a private
lawyer for the failed savings and loan at the center of the
investigation.
2003 Winnie Madikizela-Mandela, the anti-apartheid leader and
ex-wife of former President Nelson Mandela, was sentenced to
four years in prison for her conviction on fraud and theft charges.
She was convicted of 43 counts of fraud and 25 of theft of money
from a women's political league.
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