Good Morning, !
It's Saturday, January 29, 2011
Today the most frequent question was about whether the US
Government is likely to follow Egypt's example, since they
already put the legalities for that in place.
Personally, I doubt that they will do a total shut-down for
all civilians. That would be a call for instant rebellion.
The spammers, who have leased enough senators to be able
to operate profitably, would be extremely upset. And they have
the technology to shut the government down, quickly.
It would also be extremely dangerous to suddenly give tens
of Millions of grannies and grampas on Facebook and Twitter
and AOL a whole bunch of free time instead of their social
networks. With that many people getting that much unexpected
free time, a lot of rebellion and mischief is bound to happen.
I also would not expect PayPal, eBay, Amazon, TigerDirect, etc
would just peacefully go on vacation and forget about x Million
Dollars per minute.
In addition to that, a total shutdown by Govrnment would cause
town-wide wireless networks like the one in Denver to take over
within a day or two. There are enough laptops with wireless
capabilities out there, that the switch-over would be as simple
as borrowing a CD from a friend and running a brief install
program, before passig the CD, - and a few copies - , on to
other friends. Revolution? You bet.
I am sure the Government is aware of that, and won't order
a complete shut-down.
There will be more and more surveillance and pin-point action,
but I don't expect a major shut-down.
Except for the Internet Cleaning on April 1, of course '-)
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
A man is given the choice between loving women
and understanding them.
--- Ninon de Lenclos (1620-1705)
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
--- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I heard a definition of an intellectual, that I thought
was very interesting: a man who takes more words
than are necessary to tell more than he knows.
--- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friends house.
Knowing his sweet tooth Tommy's mother looked straight into
his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece
of cake."
"No," replied Tommy, "but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe
so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more
pieces without me asking."
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Johnny was eager to get his first job working for a bicycle
rental shop. During his interview he was asked,
"How are you at handling irate customers?"
"I haven't had experience with irate customers," he replied,
"but I'm pretty good with irate teachers and parents."
He got the job.
Thanks to Sandie for this picture:
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to a suicide bomber in Moscow, Russia
Suicide bomber forgot to turn off cell phone prior to action
If proof were needed that suicide bombers are not the most
intelligent people in the world, then this case in Russia is a
perfect example.
A range of triggers can be used for setting off the explosives
strapped to a bomber’s body, with cell phones being one of
those choices. The bombers don’t work alone, and a handler
likes to be in control of the actual detonation in case the
person carrying the bomb has a change of heart at the
last minute. So a cell phone trigger allows them to watch
from a safe distance while ensuring the blast happens.
A planned detonation was to happen in Red Square, central
Moscow on New Year’s Eve. The woman who would be the
bomber is thought to be from the same group that successfully
bombed Domodedovo International Airport earlier this week.
The mistake the woman and her terror group made was to use
an existing active cell phone as the trigger, and not keeping it
turned off until seconds before the planned blast.
While preparing her suicide belt at a safe house a few hours
before the terrible act was meant to happen, her mobile
operator sent her a Happy New Year text. That was enough
to trigger the detonation killing her and making a real mess
of the house.
It doesn’t look as though anyone else was hurt, and her
husband is already in jail serving time for being a radical
Islamist terrorist. The mistake she made, and the automated
text she received, probably saved tens, if not hundreds of lives.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Sharon
Re: Re-Size pictures
Dear Webby;
Thanks for sharing today's letter w/ the beautiful pic.
I love the jokes & have passed then on to many friends.
I have a friend who asked me how to resize a pic from
1224X768 to 640X480? Since I use either my Kodak
software program that cam with my camera or Microsoft
Picture It & I am not sure what to tell her. Do you have
any suggestions?
Also is there a free program that I can use to edit pics
I receive in the mail or from my camera should I not
want to go thru Kodak? I want to have a back up idea.
Thanks so much for your help.
Sharon
Dear Sharon
Sooner or later you will need a decent graphics program.
I use PSP (PaintShopPro).
The best version, in my opinion, is 7A, just before Corel
took them over. The current version is X3 (13)
You can usually find older versions on eBay quite cheaply.
Amongst the free ones, the best is GIMP.
http://www.gimp.org/
Technically, it goes further than PSP or Photoshop,
but it may be total overkill as far as you are concerned.
You would probably use less than 1% of it's tools and capabilities.
Since it is free, though, you might as well grab it, and gradually
learn more and more of it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Reset your Windows Password if you forgot or
accidentally changed it. No need to re-install Windows
or an expensive service call, IF you can find a tech
willing to do it without calling the cops about a
potentially stolen computer.
RoboForm is great, once you are booted up.
This program takes care of the boot-up password,
so that you CAN get to RoboForm and all your other
passwords.
YOUR memory might be perfect, and YOU might never
make a mistake, but if somebody in your house is not
quite as perfect as you are, then better get the
Password Resetter
A reporter from New York was visiting an old colleague who
now edited a newspaper in a tiny Vermont town.
"I don't see how you do it," the NY reporter said. "How can
you drum up interest in the news when everybody in town
knows what everybody else is doing?"
"Sure they know," the editor said, "but they read the
paper to see who got caught at it."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comReady Made Salads In Ziploc Bowls
Like many couples with no kids in the house, we don't eat
as we should. Here's a way to get a few more veggies in.
Take one bag of salad lettuce and divide it into 6 bowls with
lids (I use 20 oz Ziploc bowls) add tomatoes, a couple of
olives, sliced mushrooms, cucumbers or whatever salad
veggies you want.
Put them in the refrigerator. Then when you are stalking the
refrigerator for something to eat, you will have a few ready
made salads that you are more likely to eat first before
grabbing that muffin. You only have to add the dressing
and maybe a little feta and you're ready to go. They will
last 2-3 days.
One last thing: use grape or cherry tomatoes, it's more
likely to last longer because cut up tomatoes will release
more acid and gases that cause the lettuce to wilt.
By melmarr from Michigan
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
An formally dressed gentleman ate a fine meal at an
expensive restaurant and topped it off with some Napoleon
brandy, then he summoned the headwaiter.
"Do you recall," he asked pleasantly, "how a year ago,
I ate just such a fine repast here, and then, because I
couldn't pay for it, you had me thrown into the alley like
a common bum?"
"I'm very sorry sir..." began the contrite headwaiter.
"Oh, it's quite all right." said the guest, "but I'm afraid
I'll have to trouble you again."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A troop of Boy Scouts was being used as "guinea pigs" in a
test of emergency systems. A mock earthquake was staged,
and the Scouts impersonated wounded persons who were to
be picked up and cared for by the emergency units.
One Scout was supposed to lie on the ground and await his
rescuers, but the first-aid people got behind schedule, and
the Scout lay "wounded" for several hours.
When the first-aid squad arrived where the casualty was
supposed to be, they found nothing but a brief note:
"Have bled to death and gone to McDonalds for a refill."
Good Morning, !
It's Friday, January 28, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
Thank you, Trish!
Got a chuckle from the reports about Mexican drug smugglers
getting caught by electronics, when they fired packets of weed
over the fence with a catapult. That's the electronics, that were
run way over budget by congressional and senate "studies" by
appointed "experts", and had their funding cut last month.
Seems to me, they work quite well!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
The penalty for success is to be bored by the people
who used to snub you.
--- Nancy Astor
Look wise, say nothing, and grunt.
Speech was given to conceal thought.
--- Sir William Osler
We have too many high sounding words, and
too few actions that correspond with them.
--- Abigail Adams (1744-1818)
A group of expectant fathers sat nervously in the hall. A
nurse beckoned to one of them and said, "Congratulations,
you have a son!"
Another man dropped his magazine, jumped up and cried,
"Hey, what's the idea? I got here two hours before he did!"
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal
Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records,
Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases.
Get access and the tools with People Search
When you have the data, you have leverage!
While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group
of medical students. "As you can see," she says, "the patient
limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched.
Michael, what would you do in a case like this?"
"Well," ponders the student, "I suppose I'd limp too."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture:
Click through the picture to the large version.
Lake Overholser Oklahoma City, OK
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Scott Smithers, 27, of Victoria Parade, Torquay, England
Furious driver who failed to remove wheel clamp with axe
set fire to his car
A driver was so angry his parked car had been clamped that
he set fire to it, a court has been told.
Scott Smithers, 27, of Victoria Parade, Torquay, set fire to
newspaper in the back seat after attempts to remove the
clamp with an axe failed, Exeter Crown Court was told.
He later admitted losing his temper in a drunken rage.
"My brain ended up being an idiot," he told police.
Judge Paul Darlow sentenced Smithers to a high level
community order saying he had narrowly avoided jail
because no lives had been threatened.
Smithers had previously admitted an offence of arson,
on June 10 last year.
Prosecutor Howard Phillips said Smithers and his fiancee
parked the Metro, worth Ł120, in Victoria Parade and went
for a drink.
When they returned they discovered it had been clamped.
"In a drunken state this enraged him," said Mr Phillips.
"He got an axe out and tried to break the clamp."
When this failed he tried to set the car alight first trying to
get the fuel pump from under the bonnet then taking a petrol
can from the boot and pouring the contents into the vehicle.
The prosecutor said the can was virtually empty so Smithers
screwed up newspaper, put it in the back seat and set it alight.
He girlfriend left the scene when he would not listen to her
pleas to stop.
The court was told he had two children whom he did not
support financially. He had one previous conviction for
criminal damage.
Smithers was sentenced to a community order and will be
supervised by probation for three years and reviewed by
the court every 28 days.
He said Smithers must sign up to any rehabilitation programmes
offered by the probation and show a willingness to change
his ways.
The vehicle had been clamped as there were more than 20
outstanding penalty charge notices that had not been paid.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Fiona
Re: No-name subscription
Dear Webby
How come my otherwise not very bright brother gets the Humor
Letter greeting him with "Good Morning Leroy!", but with mine it
just says "Good Morning Friend", and it feels sorta like
"Dear Occupant."
How does he rate personal service and I don't ?
Fiona
Dear Fiona
When Leroy subscribed, he filled in his first name. When you
subscribed, you obviously left the "First Name" field blank.
I have now put Fiona in there.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
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Her minister told an eighty-year-old woman that,
at her age, she should be giving some thought to
what he called “the hereafter.”
She said to him, “I think about it many times a day.”
“Oh, really?” said the minister. “That is very wise.”
“It’s not a matter of wisdom,” she replied.
“It’s when I walk into a room or open a closet,
I ask myself, ‘What am I here after?’”
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comCleaning Mini Blinds
To clean mini blinds, wear a pair of white cotton gloves.
Dip gloved fingers in a solution of equal parts white vinegar
and warm tap water and run your fingers across both sides
of each blind.
By fossil1955 from Cortez, CO
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone
on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the
Doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a nurse
over there to read the picket signs.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A tourist from the city was visiting a quaint country village, and got
talking to an old man in the local pub.
"And have you lived here all yourlife, sir?" asked the tourist.
The old man, with a wise look, said,
"Not yet."
Good Morning, !
It's Thursday, January 27, 2011
Thank you, Trish!
We had a definite Chinook arch up, with warm wind darkening
the mountains every hour, with more rock and less snow showing.
There won't be any floods. The ground is too cold for that.
My bet is that a week from now, there will be a lot of snow to
sovel in Chicago.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
It takes a lot of practice for a girl
to kiss like a beginner.
--- Socratex
Never let what you cannot do stop
you from doing what you CAN do!"
--- Stephen Pierce
Doctor: "I see you're over a month late for your appointment.
Don't you know that nervous disorders require prompt and
regular attention? What's your excuse?"
Patient: "I was just following your orders, Doc."
Doctor: "Following my orders? What are you talking about?
I gave you no such order."
Patient: "You told me to avoid people who irritate me."
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal
Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records,
Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases.
Get access and the tools with People Search
When you have the data, you have leverage!
A guy was sitting in an airplane when another guy took
the seat beside him. The new guy was a wreck, pale,
hands shaking, biting his nails and moaning in fear.
"Hey, pal, what's the matter?" said the first guy.
"I've been transferred to Los Angeles, California,"
the second answered. "They've got race riots, gang
warfare, cops out of control, the highest crime rate....."
"Hold on," said the first. "I've been in L.A all my life,
and its not bad as the media says. Find a nice home,
preferably an hour or tow out from downtown, go to work,
mind your own business, enroll your kids in a good
school and it's as safe as anywhere in the world."
The second guy stopped shaking for a moment and
said "Oh, thank God. I was worried to death, but if
you live there and say it's ok, I'll take your word for it.
.....What do you do for a living?"
"Me?" said the first, "I'm a tail gunner on a bread truck."
--------------
They used to tell that joke about Chicago, but according
to one friend who lives there, Chicago has become safer
than visiting his mother-in-law.
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture:
Click through the picture to the large version.
Couldn't get all the branches in on the photo.
- Lillemor
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Jona Zeigler, 40, Moses Lake, WA
Moses Lake woman runs over herself
MOSES LAKE - A Moses Lake woman was run over by the truck
she was driving while attempting to elude police Monday.
Jona Zeigler, picture is not recent
An officer contacted Jona Zeigler, 40, Moses Lake, who
reportedly has a felony warrant, according to Moses Lake
police Capt. Dave Sands.
As the officer approached Zeigler to arrest her, while she
was parked near West Broadway Avenue and South Locust
Lane in Moses Lake, she reportedly drove away, according
to Sands.
Zeigler allegedly drove through downtown Moses Lake, with
the police chasing her, ending up on Lakeview Drive near
South Barbara Avenue, where she got out of her truck to
start running.
"She tried getting out of her car as it was rolling and tripped
and was dragged underneath her vehicle," said Sands.
The truck stopped on a lawn by a chain link fence.
Zeigler was taken to Samaritan Hospital in Moses Lake
and airlifted by helicopter to Spokane for
reported injuries sustained from the incident.
A Moses Lake Fire Department ambulance transported Zeigler.
Police intend to arrest Zeigler for the felony warrant and
felony eluding, once her health condition stabilizes,
according to Sands.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Penny
Re: Is Spokeo a privacy invasion?
Dear Webby
What can you tell me about this? Should I remove myself?
Is it a scam to get more info on me,
Or to get money to stay off the list?
Thanks
Penny
"Spokeo - New Online Phone Book - where do they get this info - be careful
Spokeo:
You don’t even have to have a FB account to have personal
information on this site – I was amazed.
There's a site called spokeo.com that's a new online USA phone
book with personal information: everything from pics you've posted
on FB or web, your approx credit score, home value, income,
age, children, etc! Remove yourself by searching your name,
find the URL of your page, then go to the bottom right corner
of the page and click on the Privacy button to remove yourself.
Copy & re-post so your FB friends are aware "
Dear Penny
Yes, they do indeed have a lot of information about you.
http://www.spokeo.com/email/search?e=*****penny@yahoo.com ,
though not nearly as much as you can find with a paid PeopleSearch
program, like the one I list in the Humor Letter. And probably not nearly
as accurate by a long shot either.
Some of the stuff on Spokeo is totally wacky. For example, they put
me and Ophelia at the same address, in Virginia, USA!
I live in Black Diamond, Ophelia lives in Calgary. Both in Canada.
We both use servers in the big server farm in the hub of the Internet
right behind the Pentagon That's in Virginia, USA.
The same probably applies to a lot of their information.
Clicking your information to private on Spokeo means absolutely
nothing. There are lots of other sites doing exactly the same, and
more every day.
If you are concerned about privacy, about all you can do is get
a lot of goofy and conflicting info out there. Since you are a
yahoo, that is more or less expected from you anyway.
You can't change the info available in your town's phone book,
land titles office, vehicle registration and similar public info,
but you sure can confuse the issue with Yahoo, FaceBook,
Myspace, Twitter, etc. profiles.
If somebody wants juicy gossip about you, overload them
with it! Totally wacky, of course.
Tell them about your 27 kids!
Change your occupation from clerk to mudwrestler.
Tell them your hobby is terrorizing and murdering nubile
dust bunnies,
or seducing under-age soap bubbles.
Just have a ball and make the info available on you totally
ridiculous.
Spokeo and all those sites don't have real people gumshoeing
around. They simply harvest automatically what you and the
Government have put out there in the open, and put it into
a nice package.
So, since you can't stop them, just make them look silly.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
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A man was standing first in line for tickets from those who
had canceled their reservations to a sold-out play.
The manager said he had two together, and pointed to the
two women behind the man. "You wouldn't want to come
between Mother and daughter, would you?"
The man turned around, and replied, "No. I did that once, and
regretted it right up until the divorce."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comMake Your Own Pillowcases
I can't bear to pay what stores charge for pillowcases,
even on sale, so I make my own. With trial and error,
I've learned that you can make 6 standard size pillow
cases from one full-sized flat sheet with virtually no waste.
By soup-lady from near Boston, MA
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
After directory assistance gave Lisa her boyfriend's new
telephone number, she dialed him -- and got a woman.
"Is Mike there?" I asked.
"He's in the shower," she responded.
"Please tell him his girlfriend called," Lisa said and hung up.
When he didn't return the call, Lisa dialed again.
This time a man answered. "This is Mike," he said.
"You're not my boyfriend!" Lisa exclaimed.
"I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my
wife for the past half-hour."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"I was married 3 times" explained the woman to a newly
discovered bridge partner, "and I'll never marry again.
My first 2 husbands died of eating poison mushrooms and
my 3rd one died of a fractured skull."
"That's a shame." said his friend , "How did THAT happen?"
"He was a fussy eater and wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
Good Morning, !
It's Wednesday, January 26, 2011
It seems, that some people have difficulty understanding the
difference between Radio Buttons and Check-Boxes on forms.
Radio Buttons are called that because just like with car radios,
where you can program buttons to your favorite stations,
ONE is always selected. That's how ALL forms work, always
have and always will.
If there are radio buttons to select one of three cakes,
and further down a checkmark asking you to add gift wrapping
for a dollar, putting a checkmark on the $1 gift wrap does
not unselect the cake, that has the radio button ON.
And you don't get the selected cake for just the cost of the
gift wrap either!
So, keep in mind, if you see radio buttons, ONE of them
is always selected, either by default or by you.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Junk is something you throw away
three weeks before you need it.
--- Socratex
Hospitality is making your guests feel at home,
even if you wish they were at home.
--- Socratex
Roy was going to bed the other night when Carla told him
that he had left the light on in the shed. She could see from
the bedroom window. As Roy looked for hiself, he saw that
there were people in the shed taking things.
He phoned the police, but they told him that no one was in
this area to help at this time, but they would send someone
over as soon as they were available.
Roy made sure they had the correct address, then said OK,
hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back.
"Hello. I just called you a minute ago because there were
people burglaring my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about
them now because my neighbor shot them all with his AK47.
Now HE is in that shed! He probably has his cocaine stash
in there."
Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the
area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they
caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the officers said to Roy: "I thought you said that your
neighbor shot them! "
Roy replied, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal
Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records,
Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases.
Get access and the tools with People Search
When you have the data, you have leverage!
There was this Chinese businessman visiting a newly acquired
business in the United States. As a gesture of good will,
the executives of his newly acquired business took him to a
golf course for a round of golf. He had never played the
game before.
Upon his return to China, his family asked what he had done
in the United States. He replied, "Played most interesting
game. Hit little white ball with long stick in large cow
pasture and yell: 'Oh @#$%'."
Thanks to Simon for this picture:
Click through the picture to the large version.
This could only happen in South Africa … in the Free State …
and in the city of dear … Bloemfontein.
What next will embarrass us in the International area?
Bloemfontein businessman Chris Snyman shows the ticket he was
issued with when a traffic cop flagged him down - the reason:
Drove motor vehicle while driving…..
So please don’t................ “Drive a motor vehicle while driving”
Regards
Simon
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Melanie Spanopoulos, 20, in Valley Stream, NY
LI Woman Hits, Backs Over Friend
VALLEY STREAM, N.Y. (WPIX) —
A Valley Stream woman is under arrest Tuesday after escalating
an argument with a friend by running her over twice with her
car, Nassau County police said.
Melanie Spanopoulos, 20, of 955 Oaks Drive, was sitting in
her car with her 21-year-old friend in the passenger seat, when
the two began to argue Monday. The argument turned into a
physical fight, and her friend, who is still unidentified, got out
of the car.
Spanopoulos wasn't done, however, and the brawl continued
outside of the car, according to police.
When her friend refused to get back into the car, a furious
Spanopoulos got back into the vehicle and accelerated,
slamming into the victim and knocking her to the ground.
Spanopolous then threw it into reverse and backed over
her friend before fleeing the scene.
Her victim was able to flag down a passing motorist who,
at her request, drove her home. After telling her father what
happened, he took her to an area hospital where she was
treated for a broken pelvis, broken leg and numerous abrasions.
Spanopoulos is charged with assault in the first degree, and
will be arraigned Tuesday in First District Court in Hempstead, LI.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Anita
Re: Classic or flat and wide monitor?
Dear Webby
I am buying a new computer, but I am going to listen to what
you say. It is going to have W7Pro with XP pre-installed, a small
40 GB C: drive and a one TB second drive. What is still under
discussion is the monitor.
I have an old fashioned NEC Multisync tube type monitor,
I think it is a 21", and at 1600x1200 resolution is as sharp
as a high quality calendar picture.
The dealer and my son, who uses W7, both say I need to get
a flat screen wide monitor to use HiDefinition on it. The monitor
they want me to buy has 1680 x 900, and by my figuring,
that would be a step down. What do you say?
Anita
Dear Anita
You are right and the gullible sheep are wrong.
With the bottom third, between 900 and 1200, sawed off,
you only see part of big pictures, and with spreadsheets
or word processing documents you would have to totally
change your routine. The same goes for movies. A very
few look OK on a wide monitor, but most look rather
crappy when compared side by side with a 4:3 monitor.
There ARE 1600 x 1200 flat screen monitors available
now, but they are still a bit pricey. They are more fashionable
and use less electricity than your old tube type NEC, but
they are not better. They are the same.
You will probably still get another 3 - 4 years out of that
NEC, and by then the prices for 1600 x 1200 flat screen
monitors will have come down.
In the meantime, save your money and enjoy your NEC.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto.
Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System!
Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991.
Your Turn to win!
Beth walked into the doctor's waiting room and couldn't find
an empty seat anywhere. Finally, she walks over to one
gentleman that was sitting down, and said,
"I wonder if I might trouble you for your seat. You see, I'm
pregnant."
The gentleman groaned, and in obvious pain struggled to his
feet and lurched across the room to lean on the the water
fountain for support.
As Beth sat down, another lady in the waiting room looked her
over and said,
"You know, if you hadn't told me, I never would have guessed
you were pregnant. How far along are you?"
Looking at her watch, she replied, "Since last night."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comPizza Cutter Uses
My girl friend Michelle recently shared this tip with me.
She uses her pizza wheel to cut so many things:
pancakes, chicken strips, french toast, anything!
Particularly useful for cutting up your child's food.
When I made brownies the other day; the pizza wheel
worked so much better than sawing with a knife.
Try it out today!
Source: Michelle C.
By Heather from Swanton, VT
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
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As the rookie cop passed a store he heard a noisy
argument. He paused, listened again, then stepped inside to
investigate.
"What's going on?" he demanded. "What's all the noise
about?"
"It's nothing," said the Ann, proprietor. "I'm all alone!"
"Wait a minute, Ma'am," said the cop. "I distinctly heard
a screaming match and argument going on!"
"You don't understand, officer," said the store owner.
"I'm alone in the store. Business is terrible. So to
pass the time away, I talk to myself, and when I talk to
myself, there's bound to be an argument."
"How can you argue with yourself?" asked the cop.
"It's easy, said the store owner, "because I hate liars!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
May was teaching Susan, her 5-year-old grandaughter how to
unbuckle her seat belt.
Susan asked, "Do I click the square?"
May said, "Yes."
Then Susan asked: "Single click or double click?"
Good Morning, !
It's Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Thanks Bonita!
In the morning I am sheduled to go to get blood samples taken.
The actual procedure is no big deal, I used to donate a liter of
blood every month, and I still fondly remember a nurse, who
told me to squeeze, while she was within reach. She just grinned
and told me "Not now, I have a headache!"
Blood sampling under Medicare is totally different.
Even when I am the only one, they make me wait an hour.
The actual sampling is no big deal.
I have to fast 14 hours before the sampling. That always
sounds dreadful, the way the doctor mentions it. I guess
he is used to frequent eating and snacking and it would be
a big deal for him. When I am busy working, time flies fast
and I often go that length of time without eating, and to me
it sounds more like a vacation from cooking than a big
deal of suffering.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
The discipline of desire is the background of character.
--- John Locke
He who knows others is wise;
He who knows himself is enlightened.
--- Lao-Tzu
The Secretary of the Navy was inspecting a recently
launched carrier. The entire crew stood at attention.
"I suppose," said the Secretary jokingly to the carrier's
captain, "you know the name of every man on the ship."
"Yes, of course," was the captain's unexpected reply.
"Aha," smiled the Secretary.
"What's the name of the third man from the left there in the
rear rank?"
"William Jones," said the captain.
The Secretary addressed the seaman himself.
"What's your name, lad?" he asked.
"William Jones, SIR!" replied Seaman Dale Abernathy,
"but you can call me Bubba."
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal
Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records,
Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases.
Get access and the tools with People Search
When you have the data, you have leverage!
Patrick in Dublin see's a job advertised on a building site:
'Handy man wanted...apply within'.
So he does and speaks to the foreman.
Foreman: "Can you drive a fork-lift truck?"
Patrick: "No."
Foreman: "Can you plaster?"
Patrick: "No."
Foreman: "Can you lay brick?"
Patrick: "No."
Foreman: "If you don't mind me asking, what's handy
about you?"
Patrick: "I live next door to the pub across the street."
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture:
Click through the picture to the large version.
Gene took a couple pictures of the ( almost) ever blooming Christmas cactus.
Wanted to show you some of its berries. Only one shows here.Slightly to the
right of center (blossom). This plant is fantastic with its flowers and it's the
only one of the asst'd cactuses of this kind that we have,that gives fruit.
We'll try to get a better 'berry photo' soon. Lillemor
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Ismael Ortiz, 24, in Titusville, Florida
Arsonist caught after fingertip found at crime scene
Police arrested a suspect in an arsonist-for-hire in Titusville after
they said he made a critical mistake — he left the tip of his finger
at the scene of the crime.
Meanwhile, detectives are seeking the public's help in finding
the man they say was trying to pull off an insurance scam by
burning down his (rented) house.
Police were called to a fire at a home on North Dixie Avenue
about 11:15 a.m. Saturday.
While they were investigating, police said, they discovered
evidence of accelerants, leading them to determine that the
fire was likely an arson.
Then, while sifting through evidence, officers got a tip — literally.
They found a piece of a latex glove with the tip of a finger inside.
Police said they found their suspect at a local hospital. They
matched the tip to 24-year-old Ismael Ortiz, who detectives
said quickly confessed.
But how did the suspect clip his tip? Detective Jessica Edens
explained: Trying to flee after setting the fire, "he slammed his
finger in the door," Edens said, "and it cut the tip of his finger off."
Police said Ortiz told detectives he was hired by a resident of the
home, Samuel "Sammy" Davis. Investigators said Davis hired
Ortiz to burn down the house so he could collect on a renters
insurance policy.
Police said they recovered several pieces of evidence, including
items they said Davis hid "so that they would be spared from the fire."
Edens said Ortiz was arrested and booked into the Brevard
County Jail.
Police are still looking for Davis. He was described as 58 years
old and bald with gray facial hair and blue eyes.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Judy
Re: How often should I reboot?
Dear Webby
I am using my computer just for work, email, and the odd bit
of reasonably careful browsing, just to legitimate businesses
and banks. How often should I reboot? The old klunker takes
forever to reboot, and sometimes I wonder if it will still make it.
But it does slow down if I don't occasionally reboot.
Judy
Dear Judy
That would depend on your protection.
I use McAfee and Registry Booster, and I too am careful about
where I browse to, but after 3 - 4 weeks the machine gets
slow, especially the File Explorer. So I save everything,
close all open programs, which can be quite a lot, and reboot.
The reboot doesn't take anywhere near as long, if you shut
down all programs first.
After that, work on that five year old XP is faster than on
the half year old Windows7 machine beside it.
I used to use all kinds of different utilities to tweak and
clean the computers, but I found that the Registry Booster
Power Suite does all that is necessary, and reboots are
painless and not scary any more.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto.
Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System!
Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991.
Your Turn to win!
Two elderly ladies meet at the launderette after not seeing one
another for some time. after inquiring about each other's health
one asked how the other's husband was doing.
"Oh! Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to get a
cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead, right
there in the middle of the vegetable patch!"
"Oh dear! I'm very sorry," replied her friend. "What did you do?"
"Opened a can of peas instead!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comUse Spaghetti to Test When Baking
If baking a cake and you are out of toothpicks to test to
see if it is done, use a piece of uncooked spaghetti instead.
By Sandy from Graettinger IA
Uncooked spaghetti also works great to light gas furnaces,
fireplaces, BBQs, candles, etc.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The nice part about living in a small town: When you don't
know what you're doing, someone else always does.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The truck driver looked suspiciously at the soup he had
just been served in a backwoods eatery. It contained
dark flecks of seasoning, but two of the spots were
suspicious.
“Hey,” he called out to the waitress, “these things in my
soup aren’t they foreign objects?”
She is scrutinizing his bowl. “No, sir!” she reassured him.
“Those things live around here.”
Good Morning, !
It's Monday, January 24, 2011
No more Govt grants for THAT guy!
(If anyody at the White House catches on, which is not likely.)
http://snipurl.com/anti-us-song-at-whitehouse
During the Korea war, China and the US were enemies.
"Battle on Shangganling Mountain" was the theme song of a
famous anti-U.S. movie about the Korean war, sort of the
Chinese equivalent of the of "MASH" series.
And he was chosen and paid by the White House!
That guy has more guts than all the MASH characters together.
Korean war vets are not impressed.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"Grub first, then ethics"
--- Bertolt Brecht
"The future belongs to those who believe in the
beauty of their dreams."
--- Eleanor Roosevelt
"I like the dreams of the future better than
the history of the past."
--- Thomas Jefferson
A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he
wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little
gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did
this religiously and he lived to the age of 93.
When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren,
35 great grandchildren
and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal
Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records,
Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases.
Get access and the tools with People Search
When you have the data, you have leverage!
Highly recommended reading:
"Thirty yards to the outhouse"
by Will E. Makeit
(illustrated by Betty Wont)
Thanks to Sandie for this picture:
Click through the picture to the large version.
Orchids
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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Thomas Zenon and Miguel Guzman in Manhattan, NY
Business cards led to drug bust
NEW YORK, Jan. 22 (UPI) -- New York police said they arrested
two men accused of running a high-end cocaine and marijuana
business they advertised with business cards.
Investigators said an informant found the business cards
advertising the drug-dealing services of Thomas Zenon and
Miguel Guzman in a New York University dorm, and undercover
officers made 12 buys during a three-month period, the New
York Daily News reported Friday.
Police said Zenon and Guzman, who were arrested Wednesday,
had more than 200 customers in the Manhattan borough. The
men were scheduled to be arraigned on drug charges Friday.
Officers said Guzman was en route to a delivery when he was
arrested Wednesday and was holding 16 grams of cocaine,
more than $1,600 cash and four cellphones. Zenon was
arrested at a restaurant with more than $600 in addition to
20 bags of marijuana found in his car.
Read more: http://snipurl.com/bizcardstojail [www_upi_com]
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Frank
Re: Some of my pictures don't show in emails
Dear Webby
About half of the pictures, that I send, show up OK,
but the other half doesn't. What's the problem?
Frank
Dear Frank
Most likely you have spaces in the file name.
Spaces in a name are usually OK while on the same machine,
but they are not standard, and not interpreted in any standard
way. Mac's always allowed spaces, and use their own method
to handle them. UNIX and DOS and Linux don't allow spaces.
Then some wimps at Microsoft decided to go against Bill Gates's
standards, just to make the rare Mac convert happy.
Mac people rarely convert to PC. They are like Harley riders.
It's not about performance or reliability or features, it's a cult.
As usual, when somebody lowers their standard, things turn
into a sloppy mess.
Some parts of Windows handle spaces in file names,
other parts don't.
People with Macs will see your pictures without any problem.
Their machines know how to handle spaces in file names.
But those friends, who use Windows machine, depend on
what email program they use. Some can deal with spaces,
some can't.
To make sure your pictures show up properly EVERY time,
cut out the empty spaces in their file names.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto.
Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System!
Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991.
Your Turn to win!
First golfer, Bill: "What was your score?"
Bob: "Seventy-two."
Bill: "That's not too bad at all!"
Bob: "Thanks! I hope I'll do better on the second hole."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comUse a Timer With Your Heated Blanket
I have an electric mattress pad that I put on a timer - goes
on at midnight and off at 9 A.M. Bed is nice and warm to
crawl into, and is cooling off as I wake up. No more
forgetting to shut it off after I get up.
Source: Tired of high electric bill from not shutting it off.
By Joandogs from Norwell, MA
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
During the course of being interviewed by the press, the
noted doctor was asked by a reporter: "Doctor, did you ever
make a serious mistake?"
"Yes, was the reply, "I sure did! I once cured a millionaire
before he was broke!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving
gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She
shooked it, held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what
it is - flowers!"
"That's right!" said the boy, "but how did you know?"
"Just a wild guess," she said.
The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher
held her gift overhead, shooked it, and said, "I bet I can guess
what it is - a box of candy!"
"That's right! But how did you know?" asked the girl.
"Just a lucky guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher
held the bag over her head and noticed that it was leaking. She
touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied.
The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the
leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," the boy replied.
The teacher then said, "I give up, what is it?"
The boy replied, "A puppy!"
Good Morning, !
It's Sunday, January 23, 2011
Thank you, Raymond!
Here is an article about police in Massachusets getting
hysterical about a guy who at some time in the past had
blown up his snow bank, probably because it was mixed
with frozen slush and hardened by ploughs.
Common practice in many areas, but sure got the concerned
citizens upset there.
http://snipurl.com/snowbankbomber
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Liberty means responsibility.
That is why most men dread it.
--- George Bernard Shaw
We must believe in luck. For how else can we
explain the success of those we don't like?
--- Jean Cocteau
Little Johnny wasn't very good at spelling. During an oral
spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word "new" on the
blackboard. "Now," she asked Johnny, "what word would we
have if we placed a "K" in the front?"
After a moment's reflection, Johnny said, "Canoe?"
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal
Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records,
Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases.
Get access and the tools with People Search
When you have the data, you have leverage!
As the principal made his rounds, he heard a terrible
commotion coming from one of the classrooms.
He rushed in and spotted one boy, taller than the others,
who seemed to be making the most noise.
He seized the lad, dragged him to the hall, and told him
to wait there until he was excused.
Returning to the classroom, the principal restored order
and lectured the class for half an hour about the importance
of good behavior.
"Now," he said," are there any questions?"
One girl stood up timidly. "What are you going to do to the
teacher out in the hallway ?"
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture:
Click through the picture to the large version.
Be kind to your horse. It may be a long walk home!
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Drunks in Port Melbourne, Australia
Couple Charged With Drink Driving
A WOMAN, angry that police were breath testing her husband,
allegedly drove her car at the officers while they were dealing
with the man.
The Port Melbourne pair have both lost their licenses for 12
months following the incident at the road-side breath testing
operation in Greeves St, St Kilda last night.
Sen-Constable Wayne Wilson said the man recorded a blood
alcohol reading of 0.111 when he was pulled up.
But while he was being processed, the wife got into the driver’s
seat and drove at police.
She was later found with a higher reading to her husband’s at 0.165,
and will be charged with driving under the influence.
Police tested 713 drivers throughout the night-long operation and
detected 11 with positive readings.
Three people recorded blood alcohol concentrations more than
three times over the legal limit, including two people blowing 0.165
and a woman recording 0.185.
In another incident last night, police were called to a Hastings
hotel at 11.50pm where a man was refusing to leave the hotel.
After speaking with police, the man was allowed to leave and
drove away in his nearby car.
He was shortly stopped by police and recorded a blood alcohol
reading of 0.145.
The man lost his licence for 12 months.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Alice
Re: Slow Eudora
Dear Webby
What I like the most about your daily newsletter, is that you
take a stand and are not skirting issues because you might
annoy half the readers. Even though I disagree with you almost
every day, or don't like what you point out, with you at least
I know you are not pushing any party line.
Nuff of that. About fifteen years ago you talked me into
switching to Eudora for my email, because it is faster and
more reliable. Well it still is reliable, but it sure is not fast
any more. I have just moved it from one machine to the next
and have fifteen years of mail in it. Is that too much?
Alice
Dear Alice
Jusdging by the emails you occasionally forward, you have a
lot of friends, who use Incredimail.
Go into the Eudora folder and look for the Embedded directory
in that. Chances are that you have a few Million pictures in that,
mostly the silly slobber from the Incredimail footers.
Look at that folder with a graphics program, make a new folder
in it and call that one: KEEPERS.
Then sort the folder by picture size. That will take some time!
Then highlight the first picture and scoot down a few tens or hundreds
of thousands of pictures until you get past the slobber, the logos
and mugshots and closer to the pictures, that you might consider
keeping.
Delete all that stuff, if you can. Windows might stall on that task,
forcing you to dump smaller loads.
After that, the sorting will proceed a lod easier and quicker.
Sort through the rest by dragging pictures, that are worth
keeping into the KEEPERS folder.
Then hit CTRL A to highlight all that are left, and delete those.
Next, sort out the IN box.
Make folders for any topic or year or friend, sort the mail
so that those are bunched and move them into those folders.
Ideally, the IN box should just have the stuff in it, that you plan
to actually answer today or at least in a few days.
Do the same with the OUT box.
As a final touch, dump the trash.
You will be surprised how fast Eudora runs after that. It's
actually not Eudora that slows down, but Window taking a long
time to sort through that much stuff.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto.
Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System!
Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991.
Your Turn to win!
There's a new jewelry store in Hollywood whose business
has suddenly leaped ahead of all the competition.
It rents out wedding rings.
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comUse Spice Rack to Organize Nuts and Bolts
I was helping my husband organize his new tool shed, and just
didn't know where to put all the different sizes of nuts,
bolts, screws, etc. I figured it was time for another plastic
container, but they just get overlooked and purchased
again. Instead, I used an old spice rack I bought for a
dollar at a yard sale. He loved the idea. It spins, everything
is visible and I didn't have to label more plastic containers.
I am always looking for old spice racks now, they came
in handy for all my daughters beads for her crafts as
well.
By Frazzledmrs from California
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Psychiatry students were in their Emotional Extremes class.
"Let's set some parameters," the professor said. What's the
opposite of joy?" he asked one student.
"Sadness," he answered.
The opposite of depression?" he asked another student.
"Elation," he replied.
Then the professor asked a young woman from Texas:
"The opposite of woe?"
The Texan replied, "Sir, Ah believe, Sahr, that would be giddyup."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Grandma showed some old postcards to her small grandchildren,
including one showing a pilgrim family in their Sunday best, observing,
"The pilgrim children LIKED to go to church with their mothers
and fathers."
"Oh, yeah?" her grandson replied, "And their dad is carrying
that ig, long rifle to make sure they LIKE to go along peacefully?"
Good Morning, !
It's Saturday, January 22, 2011
Was the Delta IV launch on Thursday Li'l Lucy upstaging
Charlie Brown?
The Chinese staged the long awaited maiden flight of their
high tech J-20 stealth fighter to coincide with the visit of Defense
Secretary Robert Gates, but claimed it was just a coincidence,
and a visit by some burocrat was no reason to postpone
a big event like that.
Right. Same as the launch of the Delta IV just when Chinese
President Hu Jintao is visiting Washington.
Just a coincidence. After all, it just carried a
"better than hubble instrument" to assist with drone
deployment in the Far East.
With the J-20 there was speculation, that the Chinese Air
Force wanted to show it's independence from the civilian
government. It is doubtful, that the US Airforce tried to cast
a message like that. It is much more likely just following
orders and playing their part in crude sandbox diplomacy.
Hu's visit to Ottawa was totally different.
In exchange for China stopping the ban on Canadian Beef
Harper stopped stopped being in a snit and stopped all the
hostile bitching about Human Rights in China,
And in exchange for designating Canada as an approved
travel destination he agreed to keep Epoch Times and
New Tang Dynasty (Chinese Media Conglomerates associated
with Falun Gong) from the news conference.
The left wing parliamentary press gallery refused to coopeate,
so Harper told them to stuff the press conference where the
sun don't shine, and they went for a private beer instead.
Totally different level of diplomacy.Canada might even buy
some J-20s. They could come in handy for counting the
polar bears Those ARE getting a bit out of hand in some
areas and hunting quotas had to be increased.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,
your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck."
--- George Carlin
"There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country.
The trouble is they cost a quarter.
What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel."
--- Franklin P. Adams
Today the bank paid me 97 cents per US dollar.
Trisha called Delta Airlines and asked, "Can you tell
me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to
New York"?
The agent replied, "Just a minute . . ."
"That's pretty good!!" Trisha answered, and hung up.
PeopleSearch: Over 20 categories: People Search, Criminal
Records, Court Records, Death Records, Military Records,
Reverse Email, Reverse Phone, etc. Govt databases.
Get access and the tools with People Search
When you have the data, you have leverage!
In search of a midnight snack, a suburbanite could find
nothing but a dog biscuit. He bit into it tentatively,
liked it, and the next morning asked his wife to put in a
large supply.
The local grocer observed. "You don't need so many
biscuits for a dog as small as yours."
"They're for my busband."
"These biscuits are strictly for dogs," grumbled the
grocer. "They'll kill your husband!"
Six months later, the wife admitted her husband was dead.
"I told you those biscuits would kill him," the grocer
reminded her.
"It wasn't the biscuits," said the woman. "He was killed
when I backed over him with the pick-up, while he was
sitting on the driveway behind it, liking his balls."
Thanks to Lillemor for sending this picture:
Click through the picture to the large version.
Hedesunda, Sweden
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Leon Ingram, 34 in Southampton, England
big 6'4" burglar no match for 5'3" granny
A FRAIL elderly widow turned into superwoman to send a
burglar screaming from her home by battering him with a
walking stick.
Doris Thiele, 84, hit 6ft 4in Leon Ingram round the head for
EIGHT MINUTES while her daughter Helen, 59, held him
in a headlock.
Terrified Ingram, 34, finally smashed his way through the
conservatory doors with his HEAD to get away. The serial
burglar left a trail of blood to a nearby flat, where he was
arrested.
Doris, 5ft 3in, of New Milton, Hants, said: "I hope this sends
a strong message to other burglars. If someone else comes
they'll get more of the same." She and Helen won police
bravery awards for their actions.
Heroin user Ingram - described as a "one-man crimewave" -
was jailed for three years after admitting burglary at
Southampton Crown Court. He had 32 previous convictions.
Details and picturesFrom the Tech Support Pits:
From: Wendy
Re: Change laptop keyboard
Dear Webby
The keyboard on my laptop is getting too badly worn and
erratic. How difficult is it to replace the keyboard?
Wendy
Dear Wendy
It's actually quite easy. You need two tools:
an old-fashioned thin razor blade and a small phillips
screwdriver.
You use the razor blade or a very thin knife to pry up the
bezel around the keyboard. That reveals two or three tiny
screws. Remove those and save them in a cup.
Now you can lift up the keyboard on the side where the
screws were. That releases it on the opposite side.
Unplug the ribbon cable(s) that connect the keyboard and
connect them to the new keyboard.
Stick the new keyboard in under the latches opposite the
screws, wiggle it down and secure it with the screws.
Put the bezel back onto it. That may require a bit of
fiddling. It will snap in only when it is perfectly lined up.
That's all there is to it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto.
Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System!
Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991.
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The preacher said: "There's no such thing as a perfect man.
Anybody present who has ever known a perfect man, stand up."
One man at the very back stood up.
The preacher was quite surprised and thrown out of his prepared
routine. "Did you really ever know an absolutely perfect man?"
he asked again.
"I didn't know him personally," replied the man, "but I have
heard a great deal about him. He was my wife's first
husband."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comDon't Leave Measuring Scoop in Food
Do not leave measuring cups or scoops in food for comfort and
speed, it will leave germs in the food! I went to college to become
a dietary manager, and I learned that from my text books. This
is a state law for schools, nursing homes, prisons, day cares,
Think about it, hands dirty, nails full of germs.
By 6956 from 88olds88
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Pythagorean theorem : 24 Words
The Lord's Prayer : 66 Words
Archimedes' Principle : 67 Words
The 10 Commandments : 179 Words
The Gettysburg Address : 286 Words
The Declaration of Independence : 1,300 Words
The U. S. Government regulations on the sale of cabbage :
26,911 Words
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new
stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in
another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the
stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat,
shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for
the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was
missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel
and called her up wondering what happened to her.
She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get
out of her room.
"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked,
"Why not?"
The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in
here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the
closet, and one has a sign hanging on the door knob
that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Good Morning, !
IIt's Friday, January 21, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red, to show your support for the troops!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
I am not young enough to know everything.
--- Oscar Wilde
Are you going to come quietly,
or do I have to use earplugs?
--- Spike Milligan
A couple's happy married life almost went on the rocks
because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma.
For seven long years she lived with them, always crotchety,
always demanding. Finally the old girl died.
After the ambulance had hauled her away, the husband
confessed to his wife, "Darling, if I didn't love you so
much, I don't think I would have put up with having your
Aunt Emma in the house all those years."
His wife looked at him aghast. *MY* Aunt Emma! "
She screamed: "I thought she was *YOUR* Aunt Emma!"
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When my sister teased her four-year-old daughter by
suggesting she liked a certain boy in her kindergarten class,
the little girl was quite indignant.
"No mommy, I don't," she replied, "because he's only
interested in one thing."
Shocked, my sister cautiously asked what that might be.
"His iPod, of course," said the toddler."He doesn't
like girls and doesn't crawl under the bushes with us!"
Click through the picture to the large version.
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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to five ash snorters in Silver Springs, Florida
Cremains mistaken for drugs
SILVER SPRINGS, Fla. - Marion County Sheriff's
deputies on Tuesday arrested five burglary suspects stemming from
an investigation which began last month.
The victim in the burglary said she returned to her home on
Locust Lane in the Silver Springs Shores to discover that
several items were missing. Some of the items included electronics
and jewelry, but what she found most troubling, was the theft of
her late father's ashes and the ashes of her two Great Danes.
During the investigation, detectives learned that the ashes were
taken because the suspects mistook the cremains for either cocaine
or heroin. Word on the street soon revealed that the suspects
snorted some of the ashes believing they were snorting cocaine.
According to detectives, the suspects eventually realized they
had the remains from the dogs and the victim's father, so the
suspects got rid of the ashes by tossing them into the lake.
The Marion County Sheriff's Office Dive Team has since located
and recovered the ashes.
Arrested were Waldo Soroa, 19, who faces seven charges and
has a bond of $17,000, Matrix Andaluz, 18, who faces six charges
and has a bond of $11,500, and Jose David Diaz Marrero, 19,
who faces four charges and has a bond of $9,000. There are
two juvenile suspects facing charges which include attempted
residential burglary and impairing a phone line to the home.
Also, in a different incident, detectives charged all five
suspects with attempted residential burglary and impairing
the phone line to a home on Oak Circle in the same community.
The victims in that incident, a married couple, were awakened
by loud banging noises back and at one point, the victims were
face-to-face with one of the suspects. That suspect took off
running, while the other suspects raced away in one red car
and one black car, according to the Marion County Sheriff's Office.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Julia
Re: How should CDs be stored?
Dear Webby
How should back-up CD's and disks be stored ?
Julia
Dear Julia
By far the best way to store them is in those lockable
hardcase briefcases. If you are in a hurry to buy them, they
are around $100, but every now and then they go on sale for
as little as $14.95.
Look for the ones that have combination lock latches and
a harmonica style expansion section. To stand up CD's in
them you need that expansion space.
In those hardcases they are protected from dust, humidity,
and rapid temperature changes.
If you are in a hurry to evacuate the building for whatever
emergency reason, you can quickly grab those hardcases
with the company back-ups and carry them to safety in a
much more civilized manner than juggling a stack of shoe
boxes.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto.
Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System!
1 Minute Setup.
Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991.
Your Turn to win!
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying
attention in class. She called on him and said,
"Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
Without hesittion Little Johnny replied:
"NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comWinter Feeding for Hummingbirds
As the hummingbirds go south, there are a few that do stay.
We love to feed them and we become their main source of
food. We stop feeding them, and they perish.
With the winter freeze, we found we needed two feeders.
One in the house and one at the feed place, winter night
freeze and we exchange them. Then the one outside come
in and thaws and the other is now fresh and ready for meals.
The hummers survive until spring and the insects and
flowers bloom.
By Harris B. from Troutdale, OR
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
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It was after 3 a.m. in the fancy restaurant, and all the guests
except for one had gone home. The last guest was sleeping
at his table. The cleaning lady, irritated that she was delayed
in doing her job, turned to the restaurant owner.
"I've seen you shake the old fool and wake him up five times,"
she said. "Why don't you make him go home?"
"No way! " answered the owner cheerfully.
"Every time I wake him up, he asks for his bill and pays it!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Thanks to Richard for this story:
Four men are out to dinner at a restaurant when the waiter
mentions to one of the men that it appears that he attended
Harvard University. The man was amazed and asked the
waiter how he knew. The waiter told him that he had used
a word that only Harvard men used so it was obvious that
he was a Harvard man.
Later during the course of the dinner, the waiter told another
man that it appeared that he had attended Yale University.
The man was amazed and asked the waiter how he knew.
The waiter told him that he had used a sentence structure
that only Yale men used so it was obvious that he was a
Yale man.
Even later during the course of the dinner, the waiter told
another man that it appeared that he had attended Princeton
University. The man was amazed and asked the waiter
how he knew. The waiter told him that he had pronounced
a word in a manner that only Princeton men used so it was
obvious that he was a Princeton man.
As they were paying their bill the waiter mentioned to the
fourth man that it appeared that he was a graduate of the
University of Alberta. The Alberta grad was amazed and
asked the waiter if he knew this because of a word he had
used or a sentence structure or the way he had pronounced
a word.
The waiter said that none of these techniques were used.
He had spotted the man's class ring while the man had been
picking his nose.
Good Morning, !
It's Thursday, January 20, 2011
It was interesting to see how the US Senate shrugged off the
245 to 189 House vote against Socialist Medicare. "Awww, that's
just the people. They don't count."
I have a hunch, that is going to come back and bite them in
the rear.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"English is a language where double negatives
are a no-no."
--- Alfred E. Neuman
They told me, in English double positives don't make a
negaive in English.
Yeah, right!
Because of an ear infection, , had to go to the
pediatrician.
The doctor directed his comments and questions to
in a professional manner. When he asked ,
"Is there anything you are allergic to?"
nodded and whispered in his ear.
Smiling, the pediatrician wrote out a prescription and handed
it to 's mother. She tucked it into her purse
without looking at it. As the pharmacist filled the order,
he remarked on the unusual food-drug interaction
must have.
's mother looked puzzled until he showed her
the label on the bottle. As per the doctor's instructions,
it read, "Do not take with broccoli."
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Two women were being shown through the zoo, and their
guide halted before the ostriches to explain:
"Now this, ladies, is a very unusual bird. Even though it's
eyes are bigger than it's brain, it can see very little
and can digest practically anything."
"Goodness," exclaimed one of the women.
"Wouldn't THAT make an ideal husband !"
Thanks to Dianne for sending this picture:
Click through the picture to the large version.
Matterhorn
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Robert Charles Fleming II, 25, in Butler, PA
Long test drive
BUTLER, Pa. — Authorities are looking for a western Pennsylvania
man they say is taking too long a test-drive.
Police say 25-year-old Robert Charles Fleming II never came back
after he took a 2005 Chevrolet pickup from a Butler County used
car dealership on Tuesday.
Butler Township police say Fleming left behind a copy of his
driver's license in return for the keys. They have filed theft
and related charges against him.
Lyndora Auto Sales owner Kenny Galvan tells the Beaver County
Times that it's the first time the dealership has had a car stolen
in its 26 years in business.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Brenda
Re: Mail doesn't get through
Dear Webby
Some of the people we write to say they don't get our mail,
and some say that they either don't get our mail or they
accidentally find it among old mail. What would cause that ?
Brenda
Dear Brenda
That sounds like you have the wrong date, wrong time zone,
or wrong AM/PM selected.
Because many spammers use that trick to sneak unseen
into the previous days pile of mail and hope to be read when
you come upon an un-answered mail later, some spam
filters look for that trick and dump mail with incorrect dates.
However, even if your mail is not auto-dumped, it becomes
nearly as invisible, if it is stashed in the previous day's pile.
Most likely you have selected a wrong time zone or date.
Correct that, and send me a test mail.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto.
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"I'm applying for that mechanic's job you had advertised
in this morning's paper," the fellow told the garage owner.
"Well, what are your qualifications? have you had any
mechanical experience with cars?"
"Well, of course. I'm the fellow who used to put part
232-B-4976 onto all the cars at Ford."
"Well, how come you aren't there any more?"
"I had a little tough luck."
"Tough luck?"
"Yeah, I dropped my wrench one day and by the
time I ot it back, I was twenty-seven cars behind."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comSafety Pin Label Before Sewing
I was doing some sewing today. I am making some crafts to sell.
I had labels made to sew inside. I hand sew my labels. Instead
of straight pins I pinned them in place with two small safety pins.
That way I didn't have to be on guard against the points. The
job went much faster that way.
By MartyD from Houston, Tx
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A rancher applied for a loan at a bank.
"How much do you want to borrow?" asked the loan
interviewer.
"Twenty-five thousand dollars."
"All right, but you'll have to show security. How many
bulls do you have on your ranch?"
"Two hundred."
"That should be enough security. The loan is approved."
Several months later the rancher returned to the bank to
repay the loan.
"Here's your money," he declared, peeling off bills from a
huge bankroll.
"Well, sir, let me congratulate you on your sudden
prosperity," said the interviewer, eyeing the bankroll.
"And for safety's sake, may I suggest you eposit that
extra money in our bank?"
Staring at him coldly, the rancher asked,
"How many bulls do you have?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
My friend's preparations for a visit from her children in-
cluded a trip to the bank. Waiting in line at the teller's
window, she lamented to the middle-aged man behind her,
"My children are in their 20s, and I'm still giving them
money. When does it end?"
"I'm not sure I'm the one to ask," the man said while
glancing uncomfortably at a paper in his hand, "I'm here
to deposit a check from my mother."
Good Morning, !
It's Wednesday, January 19, 2011
That cartoon yesterday was not about the 2 Billion peaceful
Muslims, who get along just fine. It was about Islamist
Extremists, who try to give the Muslims a bad name.
There IS a difference!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"Happiness is a way station between
to little and too much."
--- Channing Pollock
"It's not so much how busy you are,
but why you are busy.
The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted."
--- Mary O'Connor
Bill decided to stop worrying about his wife's driving
and took advantage of it. He got one of those bumper
stickers that say, "How's my driving?" and put a
900 toll number on it.
At $1 a call, her driving will have earned her a new car by
Mother's Day.
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Ms Myrna from the Department of Motor Vehicles finally
retired (-to everybody's great relief-). She had always wanted
to travel abroad. Now that she was getting on in years, she
thought she would really like to do so before she died.
But until now, she'd never even been out of the country. So
she began by going in person to the Passport Office and
asking how long it would take to have one issued.
"You must take the loyalty oath first," responded the
passport clerk. "Raise your right hand, please."
The old gal raised her right hand.
"Do you swear to defend the Constitution of the United States
against all its enemies, domestic or foreign?" was the first
question.
Myrna's face paled and her voice trembled as she asked in a
small voice, "But you ARE giving me back my shot gun for
that job, right?"
Thanks to Betty for this picture of her rhodo:
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Amy Bobkovich, 38 in Lorraine, Ohio
Woman got 3 speeding tickets in one hour
A Lorain woman received three speeding tickets in an hour on
Saturday night.
Sheffield Village Police Chief Larry Bliss tells Fox 8 News,
Amy Bobkovich, 38, received the first ticket at 11:40 p.m.,
for driving 55-mph in a 35-mph zone on East River Road.
Ten minutes later she was ticketed on East River Road by
a different officer for once again driving 55-mph in a
35-mph zone.
Chief Bliss says at 12:43 a.m. Sunday, Bobkovich received
her third speeding ticket for driving 51-mph in a 35-mph zone.
That ticket was issued on Detroit Road.
Bliss says the officers issuing Bobkovich's second and third
tickets were aware of the citations she had received earlier
in the night, but her speeding did not warrant an arrest.
They let her continue driving, probably hoping to make
it five a night, but she seems to have made it to her
destination without getting caught again.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Shirley
Re: No File Association Found
Dear Webby
I receive emails and when I click them the following statement
comes on:
This file does not have a program associated with it for
performing the action. Create an association
in the FOLDER OPTIONS control panel.
I do not know how to do this. Could you please help me.
Thank you
Shirley
Dear Shirley
Open a File Explorer
Tools
Folder Options
File Types
Scroll down to the mystery extension, and associate a suitable
program for it.
Depending on what it is, you may have to download and install
a suitable program first. Of necessary, you can select
"Search the Web" to find a suitable program. However, it
would be a good idea to first read up on what that extension
is all about, and whether it is a safe or a malicious file type.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto.
Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System!
1 Minute Setup.
Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991.
Your Turn to win!
farts in the classroom and his teacher gets
really upset and throws him out. He goes and sits on the
sidewalk in the sun outside the class and can't stop laughing.
The principal walks by and sees sitting outside laughing.
He says, " what are you doing sitting here laughing?"
says, "I farted in class and the teacher threw
me out."
The principle says, "Well then, why are you laughing?"
says, "Cause they are sitting in the classroom
smelling my fart, while they put me outside in this beautiful,
clean and fresh air and sunshine."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comHomemade Muffins for Breakfast
Find a good basic muffin recipe and play with it.
Experiment with different kinds of flour or combinations of
flour. Use different nuts, fruits, coconut, spices, etc.
Freeze the baked muffins and warm one a day in the
microwave for breakfast.
My current muffin is a combination of whole wheat and
soy flour, pecans, molasses, ginger, cinnamon, baking powder,
canola oil, coconut, Splenda, brown sugar, vanilla yogurt,
blueberry applesauce, eggs, skim milk, and skim milk.
They are delicious and cheaper than Vitamuffins, although
I do love Vitamuffins.
By Susannl from St. Cloud, FL
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
For the first time in many years, an old man travels from his
rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket,
he stops at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn.
He hands the attendant $1.50 and comments, "The last time
I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents."
"Well, sir," the attendant replies, "you're really going to enjoy
yourself. We have color and sound now!"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel.
One day, some primitive guys were watching their wives drag
a dead mastodon to the food-preparation area. It was exhausting
work; the guys were getting tired just WATCHING.
Then they noticed some large, smooth, rounded boulders,
and they had an idea:
They could sit on the boulders and watch!
This was the first in a series of breakthroughs that ultimately
led to television and remote controls."
Good Morning, !
It's Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Thanks to Martin for this cartoon:
AND Muslims from the other side of the Sunni/Shiite divide!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"I hear and I forget. I see and I remember.
I do and I understand."
--- Confucius
"Prosperity is a great teacher; adversity a greater."
--- William Hazlitt
A very nervous man, accompanied by his nagging wife,
was examined by a doctor.
After checking the chart, the doctor nodded and wrote
out a prescription for a powerful tranquilizer.
The man asked, "How often do I take these?"
"Let's start off with once every six hours. But they're
not for you," replied the doctor. "They're for your wife."
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their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes,
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Here is a nice old classic!
Boudreaux was feeling guilty, so he went to confession.
"Father, I kinda took a leetle lumber from dat new
construction site."
Priest: "What did you do with the lumber, my son"?
Boudreaux: "Well, Father, my porch, she's had a hole for a
long time.I'm 'fraid someone will break dey laig, so I fix
de hole. "
Priest: "Well, that's not so bad."
Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a leetle lumber left over."
Priest: "What did you do with it?"
Boudreaux: "Well, my poor dog, Phideaux, he ain't never
had no place to get outta de wether, so I make him his own
leetle doghouse."
Priest: "OK, anything else?"
Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I had a leetle lumber left over.
So you know, my truck, she ain't never had no place to get
outta de wether either, so I make her a two car garage."
Priest: "Now, this is getting a little out of hand."
Boudreaux: "Well, Father, I still had a leetle lumber left over."
Priest: "Yes?"
Boudreaux: "Well, my wife, she always want a bigger
house. So I add two bedrooms and a new bat'room."
Priest: "OK! That's definitely too much. For your penance,
you are going to have to make a Novena.
You do know how to make a Novena, don't you?"
Boudreaux: "No, Father...But, if you got de blueprints, I got
de lumber."
(For those of you who don't know, a Novena is a huge set of
prayers)
Thanks to Norm for sending this picture:
Click through the picture to the large version.
The bridge is finished and in use now, but this must be the
prettiest picture from the construction.
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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Stephanie Moreland, 46, in Bloomington, Minnesota
Shoplifter hid mink coat under underwear
BLOOMINGTON, Minn. (WCCO) – A female shoplifting suspect hid a
stolen mink coat in her underwear while she was in jail for three days.
Stephanie Moreland was arrested New Year’s Eve by Bloomington
Police after the Alaskan Fur Company reported a short mink coat
was stolen by a woman who had been in the store and acting
suspiciously.
One of the sales associates, Simona Storchak, confronted
Moreland when she saw a $6500 coat was missing. She said
Moreland denied having the coat and took off. Storchak wrote
down the license plate on the woman’s car and called police.
When Bloomington officers located the car a short time later,
they found a hanger from the store, but no coat. They
searched her for weapons and booked her into their jail
for the weekend on theft charges.
Three days later, a detective interviewed Moreland who
admitted she stole the coat but claimed she had already sold it.
When the investigator informed Moreland he would be sending
her to the Hennepin County Jail downtown, he was shocked
when she lifted up her dress and pulled out the mink coat
from her underwear.
“She had modified her underwear. She actually cut the rear
of the underwear out so that from the back it appeared she
was not wearing underwear and then stuffed it down the front,”
said Bloomington Police Commander Mark Stehlik.
Stehlik said the suspect, who is 46 years old, weighs about
270 pounds which helped make it easier for her to conceal
the short jacket.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Roland
Re: Is free Norton good enough?
Dear Webby,
My ISP will give us free subscription for Norton, is there
much difference between Norton and MacAfee
Roland
Dear Roland
Some people say that Norton is good enough, as long as
it is free.
I am not one of those people.
McAfee is good enough, that people actually pay for it.
That's the group of people I'm in.
Norton does catch most viruses and some malware,
but it causes problems with Windows.
Remember the Norton ads in the late 90's, that said it
takes Norton to make Windows complete? That seems to have
annoyed some of the tens of thousands of programmers at
Microsoft, and since Windows 2000, Norton does not mesh
with Windows as well as paying customers would expect.
I don't know ANY honest tech, who recommends Norton.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto.
Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System!
1 Minute Setup.
Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991.
Your Turn to win!
Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing
boat together, it was the husband who was behind the wheel
operating the boat. Still, he was concerned about what
might happen in an emergency. So one day out on the lake
he said to his wife, "Honey, take the wheel... Pretend that
I am having a heart attack. You must get the boat safely to
shore and dock it."
So she steered the boat to shore and docked it. Later that
evening, the wife walked into the livingroom where her
husband was reading a novel...
She sat down next to him, switched the TV channel, and
said to him, "Honey, go into the kitchen. Pretend I'm having
a heart attack. Do the laundry, cook dinner, set the table,
and wash the dishes."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comHomemade Muffins for Breakfast
Find a good basic muffin recipe and play with it.
Experiment with different kinds of flour or combinations of
flour. Use different nuts, fruits, coconut, spices, etc.
Freeze the baked muffins and warm one a day in the
microwave for breakfast.
My current muffin is a combination of whole wheat and
soy flour, pecans, molasses, ginger, cinnamon, baking powder,
canola oil, coconut, Splenda, brown sugar, vanilla yogurt,
blueberry applesauce, eggs, skim milk, and skim milk.
They are delicious and cheaper than Vitamuffins, although
I do love Vitamuffins.
By Susannl from St. Cloud, FL
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
I don't think I'll ever have a mother's intuition. My sister
left me alone in a restaurant with my 12-month-old nephew.
I said, "What do I do if he cries?"
She said, "Give him some vegetables."
It turns out that jalapenos are not his favorite.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a
nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband."
"Oh, everything went wrong: First Alfred said I talked so loud I
would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait;
and then that I was reeling in too soon.
"All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters
worse, he had to pay the fine because according to the fish
warden we had caught more than the limit for both of us.
But Alfred had not had a single bite!"
Good Morning, !
It's Monday, January 17, 2011
A beautiful, clear moon, silver reflections off the mountains
in the West, but at -22, I am not really tempted to go for a walk
right now. It's supposed to warm up in the afternoon. I'll try
and sneak out for a bit then.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"Manners are like the zero in arithmetic;
they may not be much in themselves,
but they are capable of adding a great deal
to the value of everything else."
--- Freya Stark
"Education is when you read the fine print.
Experience is what you get if you don't."
--- Pete Seeger
Anyone who has ever struggled with poverty knows how
extremely expensive it is to be poor.
--- James Baldwin
A man realizes he needs to buy a hearing aid, but he is
unwilling to spend much money.
"How much do they run?" he asks the clerk.
"That depends," says the salesman.
"They run from $2 to $6,000."
"Let's see the $2 model," the customer says.
The clerk puts the device around the man's neck.
"You just stick this button in your ear and run this little
string down to your pocket," he says.
"How does it work?" the customer asks.
"For $2, it doesn't work," the salesman replies.
"But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."
Tinnitus Cure
The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE
their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes,
Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It
just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists.
But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent
and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind
noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
A mother had three very active boys. One afternoon,
she was playing cops and robbers with them in the back
yard. One of the boys "shot" his mother and yelled,
"Bang! You're dead!"
She slumped to the ground and when she didn't get up
right away, a neighbor ran over to see if she had been
hurt in the fall.
When the neighbor bent over, the overworked mother
opened one eye and said, "Shhh. Don't give me away.
It's the only chance I've had to rest all day."
Thanks to Dad for this picture:
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Crystal Lashanna Staples, 29, in Gainesville, Florida
Burglar bleached victim's clothes
GAINESVILLE, Fla. (UPI) -- Police in Florida said a burglar
piled up clothing in her victim's home and poured bleach on
the garments.
Gainesville police said Crystal Lashanna Staples, 29, told
them she broke a window at the residence of Reagan Brown
but used a key to enter the home at 7:15 a.m. EST Monday,
The Gainesville (Fla.) Sun reported Wednesday. S
taples was arrested a couple of hours later.
Investigators accuse Staples of stealing $650 worth of items,
including two bags, a phone and keys, from the home. They
allege she piled up $1,000 worth of clothes belonging to Brown
and doused them in bleach.
Staples, who has previous convictions for forgery, escape and
grand fraud, was charged with burglary, grand theft and
criminal mischief.
Police said they were working to determine whether Staples
and Brown were previously acquainted.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Harold
Re: Invoices that are not PDF
Dear Webby,
We are doing our invoices as PDF files so that supposedly
they can not be changed later. Well, nowadays there are lots
of free programs, that can edit and even create PDF files.
To add insult to injury, the PDF files take an awful lot of space
and it wastes a lot of time making them. How do big companies
handle that?
Harold
Dear Harold
We post invoices in passworded folders on the web that can
be viewed only by the person who gets an email link to their
invoice. The email also carries the password.
The invoice on the web can be printed by the clients, but they
can not change things on them.
Since on invoices the fancy header and the footer with the
small print stays the same for every invoice, we have those parts
on the net in two include files. Those are called by every invoice.
There is no need to have those parts again and again separately
for each invoice.
The only thing the actual invoice file carries, is what is actually
different for that particular invoice. And that is just a very
tiny HTML file, typically 2-3 KB. By contrast, in PDF format
the same invoice would take about 300 KB.
If you use HTML invoices like that, then you can generate the
fresh "content" that goes between the unchanging header
and footer with any program you want, as long as it can make
or fake an HTML table.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto.
Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System!
1 Minute Setup.
Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991.
Your Turn to win!
Two Irish farmers bought a truckload of watermelons at the
docks, paying one dollar apiece for them.
Then they drove to the market and sold all their melons for the
SAME price ($1) they'd paid for them.
After counting their money at the end of the day, they realize
they'd ended up with no more money than they'd started with.
"See!" said one. "I told you we shoulda got a bigger truck."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comRemoving Air from Ziplock Bags
We will never buy the vacuum seal machine and expensive
bags because we vacuum seal the easy and frugal way.
Place contents in a ziploc bag and immerse in a sink full
of water, keeping opened end of bag just above the water
line. The pressure of the water against the outside of the
bag will force out all the air in it. And, voila, it's done.
Zip shut and you're good to go!
By annelaundrie from Green Bay, WI
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, the
young lady decided she had been stood up. She changed
from her dinner dress into pajamas and slippers, fixed some
popcorn and resigned herself to an evening of TV.
No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV than her
doorbell rang. There stood her date. He took one look at her
and gasped, "I gave you an extra two hours
--and you're still not ready?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A Congressman is awakened in the middle of the night
by his wife who whispers, "I think there's a thief in the house."
"Not in the House," her husband says. "In the Senate,
yes, my dear, but not in the House."
Good Morning, !
It's Sunday, January 16, 2011
Supposed to be a fairly mild day today, but right now, it's
still lightly overcast, with the moon just visible, and a low
ground fog.
On one side of me, where the street lights have motion
detectors, it's quite pretty. On the other side, the street
lights spoil it. They are still the old type, that waste 3/4
of the electricity on light to the sides and have no motion
detectors. It took a lot of arguing to get them to start
using reasonably modern lights, but they sure are not
in any hurry to save money.! But at least they got started,
and hopefully wil continue!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
A leader leads by example,
whether he intends to or not.
--- Socratex
"There are two sides to every issue: one side is right
and the other is wrong, but the middle is always evil."
--- Ayn Rand
Some Taliban decide to start a chicken farm. They get
some chickens and plant them in the ground, headfirst.
When all the chickens die, the farmers are somewhat
confused, but they don't give up.
They get some more chickens, but these are planted
feet-first. It takes a little longer, but eventually the
second batch of chickens die, too.
They decide to write a letter to the agriculture bureau.
In the letter they explain in detail the procedures they
have followed and their disappointing results.
A few weeks later they receive this reply from the bureau:
"Before we can advise you, please send us a soil sample."
Tinnitus Cure
The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE
their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes,
Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It
just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists.
But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent
and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind
noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a
motorist noted a cop, apparently waist deep in snow,
directing traffic.
Feeling sorry for him, the motorist called out "I'm sorry you
have to work half buried in the snow."
The cop called back "Don't feel sorry for me, feel sorry for
my horse!"
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture:
Click through the picture to the large version.
Stars circle around the north celestial pole above an old oak in
Lindholmen, Sweden. Lindholmen is where Gustav Vasa was
born. He became the king of Sweden from 1523 until his death
and is cosidered as the most famous king of Sweden. As noted
by the photographer "Gustav Vasa planted this oak, a really
fantastic tree, about 500 years ago and you can see some of the
ruin from the house where he lived to the left."
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to William Peppers, 31 in South Morgan, Ill
Skokie cop dresses up like pizza delivery man to bust customer
Skokie police officers went undercover as Edwardo’s
pizza delivery men after a man ordered a pizza and
other food with a stranger’s credit card.
The undercover operation on Jan. 8 included an officer
wearing an Edwardo’s jacket — and putting an Edwardo’s
sign on an unmarked squad car.
Police said William Peppers, 31, of the 10200 block of
South Morgan, tried three different credit cards when ordering
$51 in food to a Skokie address.
The first two cards were denied. The third belonged to a woman
who had just reported fraudulent orders on her card, police said.
Police were alerted and the officers took the pizza to Peppers.
He waved them down and signed a receipt for the food. Then
he was arrested, police said.
He’s charged with felony forgery.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Fran
Re: Get into footer on old version of MS WORD
Dear Webby,
I know you live on the web and probably don't even remember
paper letters, but in my new job I have to write them. My boss
told me to use a standard letter that they have been using
for years, leave the header and footer and just paste in fresh
content. Well, the footer has a typo in it, and I don't know
how to get MS WORD to let me into the footer to fix that
typo. Chances are, that merged footer was made with a
version of WORD about 3-4 updates ago. If you can't
figure a way to get into that footer, I don't know who can.
Fran
Dear Fran
I think that is a Microsoft "feature" to not provide an icon
or straighforward way to get into headers or footers made
with previous versions of the same software.
About the only way I know to get into them is to use the
Find (CTRL F) and get it to find a word that is in the footer.
Chances are that typo is nowhere else and it will find it fast.
When it finds it, it will open the footer and you can edit it.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto.
Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System!
1 Minute Setup.
Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991.
Your Turn to win!
Sue wanted a haircut and phoned a salon early for
an appointment but was told customers were taken on
a walk-in basis only.
On Saturday she got there by 9 a.m and there were
already ten people waiting. Sue drove to another salon,
but it was booked solid. Still another had no openings.
The situation seemed hopeless, so she went home.
Her husband greeted her at the door.
"That was fast !" he said cheerfully.
"And your hair looks great!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comUse Prescription Bottles for Storing Quarters
I take several prescriptions every month and I accumulate
lots of empty bottles. Someone posted that these make nice
places to hold screws, nails, etc. But what I use them for is
storing my State quarters. Each bottle holds $10 worth of
quarters.
What makes this a frugal thing is that these can be grabbed
for a quick last minute birthday gift. Take off the labels and
if you desire you can decorate with contact type paper.
College kids love getting quarters and so do younger kids.
I also know of a place that does take the empty bottles to
recycle to other nations. I have a bag full waiting to take.
I think in my area this place only takes the bottles once
a month on a specific day.
By Patricia from Spring Lake, NC
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought
him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed.
"Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"
"It's bean soup," she replied.
"I don't care what it has been," he sputtered. "What is it now?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
The boss was very exasperated with his new secretary.
She ignored the telephone when it rang.
"You must answer the telephone," he told her irritably.
"All right," she replied, "but it seems so silly. Nine
times out of ten, it's for you!"
Saturday, January 15, 2011, 04:34 PM - Posted by Administrator
The Government has issued a travel warning due to the
cold weather.
They suggest that anyone travelling in the current icy conditions
should make sure they have the following:
Shovel
Blankets or sleeping bag
Extra clothing including hat and gloves
24 hours worth of food
De-Icer
Rock Salt
Flashlight with spare batteries
Road Flares or Reflective Triangles
Empty gas Can
First Aid Kit
Booster cables.......
Good Morning, !
It's Saturday, January 15, 2011
Heard somethin interesting about cellphone usage. In Europe some
educators noticed a drastic drop in attention span of about half the
girls, and they investigated. It wasn't dope, and the "normal" group
walked about with an intelligence prostesis pressed to the ear just like
them. After checking all kinds of potential causes they finally found
the only thing that separated the two groups.
The ones who showed a drastic drop in attention span and apparent
intelligence all slept with their cell phone or iPhone by their head,
either waiting for messages, listening to music, or expecting a
wake-up call. Somehow the minute and nearly harmless radiation
from the phone altered their sleeping patterns and made them
dopey during the day. They are going to try with some members
of the dopey group, to see if it is reversible and they become
bright and smart again, or if there is some permanent change.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"You can tell more about a person by what he says
about others than you can by what others say about him."
--- Leo Aikman
"Well done is better than well said."
--- Benjamin Franklin
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing
our parents' shortcomings.
--- Laurence J. Peter
Thanks to Dianne for this:
The Government has issued a travel warning due to the
cold weather.
They suggest that anyone travelling in the current icy conditions
should make sure they have the following:
Shovel
Blankets or sleeping bag
Extra clothing including hat and gloves
24 hours worth of food
De-Icer
Rock Salt
Flashlight with spare batteries
Road Flares or Reflective Triangles
Empty gas Can
First Aid Kit
Booster cables.......
I looked like an idiot on the bus this morning !
Tinnitus Cure
The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE
their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes,
Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It
just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists.
But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent
and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind
noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
It was very crowded at the supermarket, and the customer
in front of me had a large order. As the harried-looking
clerk lifted the final bag for her, its bottom gave way,
sending the contents crashing to the floor.
"They just don't make these bags like they used to," the
clerk blurted to the customer.
"That was supposed to happen in your driveway!"
Thanks to Lillemor for this picture:
Click through the picture to the large version.
Monarchs at Pismo Beach, CA
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Levar Bates, 33 in Allegheny County, PA
Man In Court For Child Custody Hearing Busted on Open Warrant,
Heroin Possession
Levar Bates
PENNSYLVANIA – A man arrested on an open warrant when he
arrived to court for a child custody hearing was allegedly also
carrying heroin and marijuana.
The incident happened Monday at the Allegheny County Courthouse
when 33-year-old Levar Bates arrived for a child custody hearing.
Following routine procedure, deputies ran a check on Bates
and found he was wanted on a bench warrant for Harassment
and Terroristic Threats stemming from a December 5 incident
with his ex-girlfriend.
Deputies immediately approached Bates and took him into
custody without incident.
When they searched him, deputies allegedly recovered two
knotted baggies containing 92 stamp bags of heroin with
names varying from ‘Waka Flocka,’ ‘Try Again,’ and ‘Survivor.’
Along with the heroin, deputies located another three
baggies of marijuana.
Bates was transported to the Allegheny County Jail where
he will be held without bond until his arraignment on the
warrant and new charges of Possession with Intent to
Deliver a Controlled Substance and two counts of
Possession of a Controlled Substance.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Sharon
Re: Fix small email fonts
Dear Webby;
As for the font size I have hotmail, gmail & yahoo. When I
need the font bigger I hit ctrl & the + sign at the same time.
I may have to do it more than once to get it to the right size.
Then if I it want it smaller I hit ctrl & the - sign.
It works for me & it worked on a friend's laptop.
Don't know if it works on Incredimail too or not but
can't hurt to try it..
Have a purrfect day,
Sharon
Thanks Sharon!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto.
Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System!
1 Minute Setup.
Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991.
Your Turn to win!
To tell the weather, go to your back door and look for the dog.
If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining.
But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet,
then it is probably raining really hard.
If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's
probably windy.
If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.
Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have
to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect
bad weather.
Sincerely,
The CAT
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comFrugal All Purpose Cleaner
For a good all purpose cleaner, you need water and Ivory liquid
dish soap. Fill a 32 ounce spray bottle nearly full with water.
Add a squirt or two of Ivory Liquid Dish soap. Put the sprayer
back on and gently shake the bottle until the soap has been
evenly distributed. Use Ivory because most other dish soaps
leave behind a filmy residue. Ivory is especially safe for
Corian, marble, and wood counter tops and butcher blocks.
It's also safe to use on brass or gold plated faucets.
By Jodi from Aurora , CO
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
"What do you love most about me," a husband asked his wife,
"my tremendous athletic ability or my superior intellect?"
"What I love most about you," responded the man's wife,
"is your incredible sense of humor."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer
in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and
take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside.
One deacon ducked down and said, "I hope the reverend
didn't see us or recognize my pickup."
The other replied indifferently, "What difference does it make.
God knows we're in here... and he's the only one who counts."
The first deacon countered, "But God won't tell my wife."
Good Morning, !
It's Friday, January 14, 2011
Time to wear a bit of red to show your support for the troops!
To Alissee
No, the crossed zero smbol Ř in somebody's signature block
is not a sign of a secret cult. It's just a symbol for the slogan
"No Obama". And it does not imply any illegal action, just
how people intend to vote. And it does not mean membership
in the TeaParty or any other party. From what I can tell,
no party has officialy adopted that symbol or is promoting it,
thereby leaving it free to use by anybody.
You wil not be accused of being a Tea partier if you use it,
since a lot of disenchanted Democrats are using it too.
As for how to type that symbol, it is really easy on a normal
keyboard, but a real nuisane on a laptop, since you need the
numeric keypad for it. Turn on NumLock,
hold down the ALT key, and type 0216
That produces Ř , when you let go of the ALT key.
If you use a laptop, then the easiest method is to go to
http://webby.com/char
and copy it from there. It is at the top of the fourth column.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"A life without happiness is empty,
but Happiness can only be found within."
--- Marie-France
Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?
Juror: I don't want to be away from my job that long.
Judge: Can't they do without you at work?
Juror: Yes, but I don't want them to know it.
Tinnitus Cure
The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE
their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes,
Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It
just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists.
But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent
and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind
noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
Thanks to Bob for this story:
After booking my 80-year-old mother on a flight from Florida
to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her needs. The
representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair
and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and
severely impaired vision.
My apprehension lightened a bit when the woman assured me
that everything would be taken care of. I thanked her profusely.
"Oh, you're welcome," she replied. I was about to hang up when
she cheerfully asked, "And will your mother need a rental car?"
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Chris Brooks Heuring, 27, of rural Benton, MO
Wrong way to shop at mcDonalds
BENTON, Mo. -- A Scott County man is facing charges after
allegedly backing up demands for fast food with a shotgun.
Chris Brooks Heuring, 27, of rural Benton is charged with
unlawful use of a weapon and driving while intoxicated.
Scott County Sheriff Rick Walter said his department received
a call at about 11:40 p.m. Saturday regarding a man with a
shotgun at the drive-through window of the McDonald's restaurant
on Highway 77 at the Interstate 55 interchange at Benton.
"They had told him the store was closed," Walter said.
"He demanded one of the employees to open the window."
The employee reportedly responded by advising only the manager
could open the window.
"He told the employee he wanted food and pointed the shotgun
at that time," Walter said. "He said, 'If I don't bring some food
home for my wife, she's going to kill me.'
At that point, the employees didn't want to stick around to
listen to any more demands."
Walter said the employees backed away from the window to get
out of the possible line of fire.
A deputy who was about a minute away responded, according
to Walter, and upon arriving was able to hold the suspect at
gunpoint until the sheriff and two more deputies arrived.
"At that point we brought him out of the car and took him
into custody without incident," he said.
Walter said the employees did the right thing by calling the
sheriff and locking themselves in an interior room until
authorities arrived.
"The shotgun was loaded and there was a round chambered,"
he noted.
As of press time, Heuring remained at the Scott County Jail
with a cash or surety bond set at $5,000.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Larry
Re: Mail fonts too small
Dear Webby
I'm having another problem. Hopefully you can help me out.
2 days ago, my text on my email god smaller and I can't
enlarge it. I've been trying since then to enlarge it but can't
find out how to do it. I know, I have incredimail. LOL.
Larry
Dear Larry
I have absolutely no clue about Incredimail.
On Eudora you would hold down CTRL and scroll the scroll wheel
to zoom, just like you do on browsers. Eudora had that since
scroll wheels were invented, but not all programs have copied
that yet.
Try Incredimail support. Maybe they know.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto.
Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System!
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Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991.
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Used to being the center of attention, Robbie was a little
more than jealous of his new baby sister. The parents sat
him down and said that now that she was getting older, the
house was too small and they'd have to move.
"It's no use." Robbie said,
"She's crawling good now and she'd probably just follow us."
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comStore Toiletries in Small Tote
Each of our 3 children has a small plastic tote (like the
ones to hold cleaning supplies) stored in our hall linen
closet to take into the bathroom. They keep all of their
toiletries (including combs, medications and toothbrush/
toothpaste) in these totes. I got the idea from my dorm
days when we had to hike down the hall to the showers.
It really saves room in our small bathroom, and the tote
can be ported to the kitchen or downstairs bath if
necessary.
By Lori L from Minneapolis, MN
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure
in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed.
However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with
an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.
The officer handed him the citation, received his signature
and was about to walk away when the man asked,
"Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair
- there were plenty of other cars around me who were
going just as fast, so why did *I* get the ticket?"
"Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man.
"Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied.
The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch *all* the fish?"
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
Judge: You are charged with habitual drunkenness. Have you anything to
say in your defense?
Defendant: Habitual thirstiness?
Thursday, January 13, 2011, 09:19 PM - Posted by Administrator
A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices
that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees
oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and
stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around
town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona,
decides that something cold would really hit the spot.
He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat.
Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his
little flippers.
After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station
and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic
looks up and says,
"It looks like you blew a seal."
"No, no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
Dog Days-How Training Benefits Both Pet Owners And Pets
Thursday, January 13, 2011, 06:07 PM - Posted by Administrator
Welcome!
Whether you are a new pet owner or you have had a pet in your home for some time, you know how delightful, and frustrating, owning a pet can be.
The joy of bringing a new puppy or dog into your household can be insurmountable. After all, there is no relationship quite like the one that is developed between you and your dog.
A dog can provide unconditional love, hours of entertainment, and genuine friendship. Or, a dog can provide unconditional messes, hours of destruction, and a genuine nuisance!
How do you ensure that your dog behaves in the manner of the first scenario described above? If you are thinking that the answer is "breed" you are partially correct. Indeed, breed does play a role in a dog's behavior. But an even greater factor in the dog's behavior is based on the training he receives. Good dog training resources can go a long way toward helping.
The Benefits of Training
If you are like most people, you are extremely busy. Some days, there just doesn't seem like enough hours to take care of yourself, let alone a dog! But, the time that you spend training your dog will reward you and your relationship for many, many years to come.
There are five main benefits of training:
1. It builds a relationship.
2. It corrects behavioral problems.
3. It stimulates intellect.
4. It encourages inclusion.
5. It saves time.
Let's explore each benefit in further detail.
1. Training Builds a Relationship.
There is no better way to create a bond with your dog than through the process of training. You may think that training begins at the time you decide to try new tricks, but it actually begins at the very moment you acquire your dog.
Your dog is constantly watching you and learning from your actions. He learns from the way you react to his actions. He looks to you for guidance, for food, for warmth, for comfort, and for playtime.
2. Training Corrects Behavioral Problems.
Barking at anyone who passes by the front window, chewing up your favorite pillows, digging through your freshly planted garden, bolting out of an open door...do any of these actions look familiar to you?
When you have developed a trusting bond with your dog, you can teach him how to correct these behavioral problems. He will learn by your reactions whether or not his actions are acceptable to you. No doubt, he will test his limits!
3. Training Stimulates Intellect.
Yes, it is true that dogs are very curious creatures. With exposure to so many unusual smells, sights, and sounds, dogs can't help but want to explore. It's in their nature!
Most dogs have the capacity to be very intelligent. But, they need to be stimulated first, and then they will be motivated to learn. Training is a huge benefit for stimulating your dog's intellect.
4. Training Encourages Inclusion.
The sense of "inclusion" is very important to a dog's security. From the earliest days of being a part of a litter, your dog feels comfortable being a part of the pack. That includes the pack of your household.
You may be the primary dog trainer, but everyone in your family or household should take the time to train your dog. When he receives this undivided attention from everyone, he feels like part of the pack.
5. Training Saves Time.
Another huge benefit of training your dog is that it saves you time. Taking the time to train your dog now, will actually save you time in the long run. For example, if you take the time to train your dog to behave properly inside the house, you will actually be saving time cleaning up mischievous messes that he could create in the future-if he didn't have the training.
Good Morning, !
It's Thursday, January 13, 2011
Today the topic of online petitions came up again.
They are a waste of time.at best, and usually just phishing
for addresses to send junkmail and spam to. Nobody gives
a hoot about how many names are on an online petition.
They count about as much as comments on a news story.
Good for a chuckle, if some comments are funny, but that's
it.
An online petition to stop Verizon and Sprint from metering
and billing movie pirates and spammers more than they bill you,
is taken about as seriously as a petition to have the outside
temperature raised. The same applies to any other online
petition.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Heredity:
Everyone believes in it until their children act like idiots!
--- Socratex
Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing
gained control of the country, it would probably fly
around in circles.
--- Pat Paulsen
Here is one that I re-wrote and shortened to this form
a few years ago and that came back today:
A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time and she shows
him into the living room. She excuses herself to go fix them
a couple drinks. As he's standing there he notices a cute
little vase on the mantel.
He picks it up and as he's looking at it, she walks back in.
He says, "What's this?"
She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there."
He turns beet red and says, "Gee, oh...I'm sorry...I..."
She continues, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to
get an ashtray."
Tinnitus Cure
The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE
their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes,
Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It
just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists.
But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent
and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind
noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
A tourist is visiting New York City when his car breaks
down. He jumps out and starts fiddling under the hood.
About five minutes later, he hears some thumping sounds
and looks around to see someone taking stuff out of his
trunk! He runs around and yells, "Hey, bud,this is my car!"
"OK," the man says,
"You take the front and I`ll take the back."
Thanks to Dad for this picture:
Click through the picture to the large version.
This Easter Cactus normally blooms in April, but something
spooked it and caused it to bloom yesterday.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Steve, the lawnmower DUI guy from southern Louisiana
DUI on Scissor-Lift
Steve from South Louisiana, just can’t seem to stay out of
trouble with the law and has been arrested again, this time
for taking a scissor lift on a beer run. Steve can’t get it
through his thick head even after his original Lawnmower
DUI that he shouldn’t be driving these things on the road.
Watch the video of his latest arrest at
Steves Scissorlift DUI arrestFrom the Tech Support Pits:
From: Ann
Re: Petition against metered Internet
Dear Webby
What do you make of this? Truth or Fiction (I couldn't
find it on their site)
(Link to a phony petition against metered Internet access)
Thanks. Ann
Dear Ann
Read the small print of your contract with Shaw.
Your account has always been metered.
You get x number o Gigabytes file transfer included in your contract,
and pay extra for anything above that.
Same with Telus. Only some of the exorbitantly priced business
accounts are unmetered and unlimited.
There is nothing wrong with metering. Why should YOU pay for
the kid next door downloading two dozen pirated movies every
night and sending them to a hundred buddies, or for the spammer
across the street?
The metering simply ensures that those, who have ridiculously
high transfer rates, pay for their usage, instead of their cost
getting spread over everybody else's bill, including yours.
By the way, the Shaw installer, who was supposed to connect me
to Shaw last Friday, and instead went to Drumheller, 100 miles
NorthEast from here, and left a door knob hanger at somebody's
house there, still has not found Black Diamond.
Maybe the big boys told Shaw that Shaw is not allowed in this
area. Who knows?
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto.
Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System!
1 Minute Setup.
Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991.
Your Turn to win!
A taxicab went out of control and raced crazily through
traffic. "Can't you stop it?" the passenger yelled at
the driver.
"No!" shouted the driver.
"Well," said the passenger, "at least turn off the meter!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comStore Toiletries in Small Tote
Each of our 3 children has a small plastic tote (like the
ones to hold cleaning supplies) stored in our hall linen
closet to take into the bathroom. They keep all of their
toiletries (including combs, medications and toothbrush/
toothpaste) in these totes. I got the idea from my dorm
days when we had to hike down the hall to the showers.
It really saves room in our small bathroom, and the tote
can be ported to the kitchen or downstairs bath if
necessary.
By Lori L from Minneapolis, MN
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at
the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys
in now, but our computer's down. You'll have to go back to
Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests.
What'll it be?"
The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle,
soaring above the Rocky Mountains."
"So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.
The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks,
"Will any of this week 'count,' St. Peter?"
"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we
can keep track of what you're doing."
"In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted
to be a stud."
"So be it" says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.
A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter
to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating
them?" He asks.
"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter.
"He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles.
But the second one could prove to be more difficult."
"Why?" asketh the Lord.
"He's on a studded snow tire, somewhere in Montana."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant,
waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted:
"No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked,
"Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20,
I wouldn't be eating here."
Wednesday, January 12, 2011, 06:00 PM Posted by Administrator
The Washington Post
The Arctic ocean is warming up, icebergs are growing scarcer and in some places the seals are finding the water too hot, according to a report to the Commerce Department yesterday from Consulafft, at Bergen , Norway .
Reports from fishermen, seal hunters and explorers all point to a radical change in climate conditions and hitherto unheard-of temperatures in the Arctic zone.
Exploration expeditions report that scarcely any ice has been met as far north as 81 degrees 29 minutes. Soundings to a depth of 3,100 meters showed the gulf stream still very warm.
Great masses of ice have been replaced by moraines of earth and stones, the report continued, while at many points well known glaciers have entirely disappeared.
Very few seals and no white fish are found in the eastern Arctic, while vast shoals of herring and smelts which have never before ventured so far north, are being encountered in the old seal fishing grounds.
Within a few years it is predicted that due to the ice melt the sea will rise and make most coastal cities uninhabitable.
Oops! Never mind.
This report was from November 2, 1922, as reported by the Associated Press and published in the Washington Post - 88 years ago!
Good Morning, !
It's Wednesday, January 12, 2011
It warmed up briefly to -17 in the afternoon, but then quickly
coled off again. Well, that's to be expected in winter.
I DID notice, though, that the days are getting longer!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize
what a burden it was.
--- Margaret Mitchell
Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy
when they are writing and because the memos, once written,
immediately become proof that they were busy.
--- Charles Peters
We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating
and complex--but Congress can.
--- Cullen Hightower
As a token of appreciation for their excellent work Gary
and Bill got invited to a convention in New York City.
There they were wined and dined by the top brass. When
they finally staggered out into fresh air, Bill crossed the
street, while Gary stumbled into a subway entrance.
When Bill reached the other side, he noticed Gary emerging
from the subway stairs. "Where've you been?" Bill slurred.
"I don't know," replied Gary, "but you should see the
train set that guy has in his basement."
Tinnitus Cure
The Most Powerful & Unique Guide to help people REVERSE
their ear ringing using Holistic Medicine. Like Diabetes,
Tinnitus can not be cured with what doctors prescribe. It
just would not be profitable for them and the pharmacists.
But there ARE ways aound them, that have consistent
and predictable results. If you hear a constant hiss or wind
noise, get rid of it with the Tinnitus Cure
A son and father went to see a doctor since the father was
getting very ill. The doctor told the father and son that the
father was dying from cancer.
The father who was an Irishman, turned to his son and said
"Son, even on this gloomy day, its our tradition to drink to
health as it is in death; so let's go to the pub and celebrate
my demise."
Reluctantly, the son followed his father to the local pub.
After they left, the son turned to his father and said,
"Father, it is not AIDS you are dying from. It is cancer, why
did you lie to those men?"
The father reply's "Aye, my son, you are right; but I know
those guys, and I don't want any of those guys getting
close to your mom when I'm gone. I KNOW her rolling pin
swing and know she would wind up in jail over it, and then
you, poor lad, would be all alone on this sad old world."
Thanks to Betty for this picture:
Click through the picture to the large version.
View from Vancouver Island towards Saltspring Island
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Jerry Wayne Means, South Charleston, VA
Man Pays for Stolen Car with Meth
SOUTH CHARLESTON, W. Va. (WSAZ) -- A man caught with a stolen car
told police he bought the vehicle from a woman using meth as payment.
West Virginia State Police out of South Charleston tells WSAZ.com
Jerry Wayne Means was driving down I-77 around 11:20 Saturday night.
The Oldsmobile Intrigue Means was driving came up stolen on a trooper's
mobile plate hunter.
Means was pulled over and arrested near Oakridge Apartments on US-119.
While in police custody, Means admitted he rented the car from a woman
and used $50 bags of meth as payment. Means later told police he bought
the car for two grams of meth.
Means was charged with possession of a stolen vehicle, delivery of
methamphetamine and not having an operational drivers
license.
In lieu of an arraignment, Means was taken to South Central Regional Jail.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Esther
Re: Can't find the mail
I can't find a place to open up and get the email
Dear Esther
If you can't find and open my reply, then you got a big problem.
If you just can't find your subscription, look in the SPAM.
Sending it from SPAM to INBOX will usually fix that problem,
but you may have to make a filter in Gmail, so that it NEVER
puts mail from humor@webby.com into SPAM.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto.
Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System!
1 Minute Setup.
Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991.
Your Turn to win!
Things weren't going too well in the Sunday School class.
Nobody seemed to recall the identity of Matthew. Nor did
they do any better with Mark. Finally, the teacher said
hopefully, "Surely somebody remembers Peter!"
A small boy in the last row came to the rescue.
"Teacher," he piped, "wasn't he a wabbit?"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comAdd Handles To Flat Templates
I will be cutting and selling appliques for etsy.com very soon.
However, it's hard to find shapes I love that are not flat. So,
I went and found some wooden shapes very cheap, and made
"handles" for them from bottle caps. All I needed was some
contact cement and a day to dry. Now, I can draw around
them to my hearts content!
If you have something similar like hard cardboard or plastic
canvas, and you want to streamline your projects, this will
help. If you are working with plastic canvas, make sure you
remember not to leave the plastic on paper, fabric, or good
furniture, as the glue will ooze through the grids.
Source: My own need to pick them up and put them down
easier, saving my nails and my sanity!
By Sandi from Yorktown, VA
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here:
The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the
manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall and
bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable.
"Jesus Christ!" he exclaimed.
Joseph said, "Write that one down, Mary; it's a lot
better than Bubba ."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
A man was sitting alone in his office one night when a genie
popped up out of his ashtray and said, "And what will your
third wish be?"
The man looked at the genie and said, "Huh? How can I be getting
a third wish when I haven't had a first or second wish yet?"
"You have had two wishes already," the genie said, "but your
second wish was for me to put everything back the way it was
before you made your first wish. Thus, you remember nothing,
because everything is the way it was before you made any wishes.
You now have one wish left."
"Okay," said the man, "I don't believe this, but what the heck.
I wish I were irresistible to women."
"Funny," said the genie as it granted his wish and disappeared
forever. "That was your first wish, too!"
Good Morning, !
It's Tuesday, January 11, 2011
I want to apologize to Hank in Alabama. I did by no means
want to imply, that all of Alabama was technologically backward.
I used Alabama as an example of great crontrast between
hightech and forgotten low-tech islands.
Those hillbilly areas are by no means more numerous in Alabama
than elsewhere, but because of the very high technology in the
rest of the state, the contrast seems higher.
It is the same here in Canada. 18 Miles away people can get
20 or 100 Mbps and even Gigabit connections, yet the same
ISP can't even find my town. DUH!
Have FUN!
DearWebby
If you can help with the server cost
please donate what you can!
"We start with gifts. Merit comes from what
we make of them."
--- Jean Toomer
Great minds have purposes; little minds have wishes.
Little minds are subdued by misfortunes; great minds
rise above them.
--- Washington Irving
The man told his doctor he wasn't able to do all the things
around the house that he used to do. When the examination
was complete, he said,
"Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what's
wrong with me."
"Well, in plain English," the doctor replied, "You're just a
plain lazy old fart."
"I was afraid you would say that." said the man. "Now give
me the medical term, so I can tell my wife!"
Google Redirect Virus Remover
If Google, Bing or Yahoo send your browser to the wrong sites,
the Google Redirect Virus Remover will fix that.
This one is not free, but neither is fixing a flat.
This deal will come off tonight. Get it today, or pay retail.
The doctor said he would have me walking in two weeks."
"Was he successful?"
"Yup, I had to sell my car to pay his bill!"
Thanks to Christine for sending this picture:
Click through the picture to the large version.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!
An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD
goes to Troy Sandifar, 45 in Bradenton, FL
Woman spots husband on bank robbery surveillance
photo, calls police
BRADENTON, Fla. — Police say a man confessed to robbing a
bank after his wife saw a surveillance photo on the evening news
and alerted authorities.
A camera snapped a clear shot of the man with a pony tail and
scruffy beard robbing the First Bank in Bradenton Tuesday morning.
The robber sprinted down the street clutching money in his fists and
got away despite efforts from a K-9 unit and SWAT team.
Manatee County Sheriff's officials got their big break Tuesday evening
when Afra Sandifar saw a news report about the bank robbery. She
called authorities and told them her husband was the robber.
That's when 45-year-old Troy Sandifar fled the couple's apartment.
Deputies stopped his vehicle but Sandifar refused to get out. They
say he ingested what appeared to be rock cocaine before they
were able to arrest him. He was taken to the hospital, where
authorities say he confessed.
From the Tech Support Pits:
From: Guinn
Re: Printing a small book
Dear Webby,
I have a problem. I want to print a short document, about ten pages,
on 8 1/2 x 11 paper but I need it to be 2 "pages" to the sheet, each
side. I would like to print it so that it could be read book style ie all
pages in order with no blank pages. I use Open Office Writer per
your suggestion. Any help will be appreciated.
Thank you,
Guinn
Dear Guinn
You mean like Clickbook does it?
Clickbook makes you select one of over 170 formats.
In your case, that would be 4 pages per sheet, front and back,
folded pocket book.
If the book had 450 pages and you wanted to cut and edge
glue them with hotmelt glue,
then you would select the same, but cut pocket book.
Don't worry, it's not alphabetical, it's all nicely sorted
into categories.
The initial set-up is a bit tedious and takes a few minutes.
It makes you print a test page and asks you where on it
you see a square or arrow.
Then it tells you to drop it straight down into the input tray,
without turning or flipping.
There are about four steps to that, until it has totally figured
out your printer and how you set it up.
After that, whenever you print, it does one side of the book,
then tells you to drop the entire output stack straight down
into the input tray, and it does the back sides,
with ALL the numbers matching perfectly.
There is a lot of math to that, but all it tells you is:
Drop the stack from the output tray straight down into the input tray.
In case you don't have an air nailer to shoot staples through
the fold, they have a good deal on long reach staplers.
That's optional, you don't have to buy their stapler.
I have used ClickBook since the days of noisy Dot-Matrix
printers, and just moved it from one computer to the next,
whenever a computer wore out.
As far as the word processor or spreadsheet or PPS or
whatever is concerned, you just select ClickBook as the printer,
and hit Print. Clickbook then asks you what format you want,
you select that and hit OK.
That's all there is to it.
By the way, you can tell Clickbook to do the page numbering too.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
Win at Lotteries
The World's #1 Lottery System For Lotto.
Ken Silver's Multi-Million Silver Lotto System!
1 Minute Setup.
Winning 9 out of every 10 games since 1991.
Your Turn to win!
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102.
There is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old
already in the cell.
The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly.
The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out.
You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley.
I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the
most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best
restaurants of France."
The new man asked, "What happened?"
"One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.comDrain Browned Ground Beef in a Colander
When using ground beef cooked for a soup, spaghetti or
tacos etc., drain the hamburger through a colander before
adding to your recipe. This takes away the extra fat and
tastes great, even in chili.
By 123helen from Senoia, GA
Don't get too fanatic about that!
The body needs a bit of fat for energy, otherwise it will
scrounge energy producing stuff and/or stash fat for
emergencies, which won't happen.
If you drain off all the fat and pour it over dry dog food,
your dog will be trim and energetic, but you won't be.
Share some, but don't give away all of it.
You can sprinkle a little bit of flour and/or paprika over
it and stir it until the flour has been toasted and is nicely
brown. By that time it has absorbed most or all of the fat.
Real chefs then carefully pour some water or soup stock
onto it and let the steam "explosion" tear apart any flour
balls, that may be still present. Use a long hadled ladle
for that.
Have FUN!
DearWebby
http://www.thriftyfun.com/
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day,
or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here:ThriftyFun
Highly recommended!
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Wife: "Doctor My husband thinks he's a
satellite dish."
Doctor: "Don't worry i can cure him."
Wife: "I don't want him cured i want you
to adjust him to get the movie channel."
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
No sermon here and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double-opt-in confirmation request.
"Earl says he used to yearn for a pretty women
.....now the "Y" is silent"
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This is the Mail Washer that we use and have used for 12 years. I have
tested many others, but Mail Washer is still The Best spam control.
The best tool for getting rid of spy-ware and mal-ware.
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All is forgiven. I still love you. Please come back!
Ps. Congratulations on your lottery win!
Your Betty-Sue
Space Weather
Solar storms, Auroras Thesaurus
HungerSite
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The number of mammograms donated thanks to clicks has dropped quite noticeably
when these two ladies went away. So here they are back, working hard to get
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Tech Support Pits: Re: Not getting a subscription
... not getting my subscription newsletters, not just the Humor Letter, but
others too. I can't re-sub- scribe because I am still on the list....
Dear Friends, If you are on the list, then the subscriptions are sent out
TOWARDS you. If you don't see them, then either you or your ISP are blocking
them.
Complaining to me won't fix your or your ISP's spam block. Check your spam
control program and, if necessary, white-list the missing subscription or
declare it as friendly. If your spam control program is OK, contact your
ISP.
If you are using one of those address collectors that pretend to be email
verification programs, but ask for people to fill out all kinds of information,
forget it!
NO newsletter send program will even click on a verification link, never
mind filling out some silly junkmail order form. If you want a newsletter,
it is up to YOU, to make sure that you are not blocking it.
The Humor Letter is no exception, except that you can still read it here,
on-line, at http://webby.com/humor,
even if you are blocking it in the mail.
kamagra 12/15/2011 Hey,I like your blog..I think you plotted most fascinated...Mona 08/08/2010 Do these comments show up?jason Tyler 04/01/2010 I was never a real big fan of earth link. Either way nice...Dentist Pomona 12/14/2009 I liked the snow house picture it looks very nice. I would...roboform 07/10/2009 Dear Webby, No need to install the RoboForm separate xpi...
Good Morning, ! It's Saturday, January 29, 2011 Today the most frequent question was about whether the US Government is likely to follow Egypt's example, since they already put the legalities for that in place. Personally, I doubt that they will do a total shut-down for all civilians. That would be a call for instant rebellion. The spammers, who have leased enough senators to be able to operate profitably, would be extremely upset. And they have the technology to shut the government down, quickly. It would also be extremely dangerous to suddenly give tens of Millions of grannies and grampas on Facebook and Twitter and AOL a whole bunch of free time instead of their social networks. With that many people getting that much unexpected free time, a lot of rebellion and mischief is bound to happen. I also would not expect PayPal, eBay, Amazon, TigerDirect, etc would just peacefully go on vacation and forget about x Million Dollars per minute. In addition to that, a total shutdown by Govrnment would cause town-wide wireless networks like the one in Denver to take over within a day or two. There are enough laptops with wireless capabilities out there, that the switch-over would be as simple as borrowing a CD from a friend and running a brief install program, before passig the CD, - and a few copies - , on to other friends. Revolution? You bet. I am sure the Government is aware of that, and won't order a complete shut-down. There will be more and more surveillance and pin-point action, but I don't expect a major shut-down. Except for the Internet Cleaning on April 1, of course '-) Have FUN! DearWebby
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An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a suicide bomber in Moscow, Russia Suicide bomber forgot to turn off cell phone prior to action If proof were needed that suicide bombers are not the most intelligent people in the world, then this case in Russia is a perfect example. A range of triggers can be used for setting off the explosives strapped to a bomber’s body, with cell phones being one of those choices. The bombers don’t work alone, and a handler likes to be in control of the actual detonation in case the person carrying the bomb has a change of heart at the last minute. So a cell phone trigger allows them to watch from a safe distance while ensuring the blast happens. A planned detonation was to happen in Red Square, central Moscow on New Year’s Eve. The woman who would be the bomber is thought to be from the same group that successfully bombed Domodedovo International Airport earlier this week. The mistake the woman and her terror group made was to use an existing active cell phone as the trigger, and not keeping it turned off until seconds before the planned blast. While preparing her suicide belt at a safe house a few hours before the terrible act was meant to happen, her mobile operator sent her a Happy New Year text. That was enough to trigger the detonation killing her and making a real mess of the house. It doesn’t look as though anyone else was hurt, and her husband is already in jail serving time for being a radical Islamist terrorist. The mistake she made, and the automated text she received, probably saved tens, if not hundreds of lives.
Ophelia Dingbatter's News
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Click through the picture to the large version. Lake Overholser Oklahoma City, OK
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Click through the picture to the large version.Click through the picture to the large version. Couldn't get all the branches in on the photo. - Lillemor
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:Jona Zeigler, picture is not recent An officer contacted Jona Zeigler, 40, Moses Lake, who reportedly has a felony warrant, according to Moses Lake police Capt. Dave Sands. As the officer approached Zeigler to arrest her, while she was parked near West Broadway Avenue and South Locust Lane in Moses Lake, she reportedly drove away, according to Sands. Zeigler allegedly drove through downtown Moses Lake, with the police chasing her, ending up on Lakeview Drive near South Barbara Avenue, where she got out of her truck to start running. "She tried getting out of her car as it was rolling and tripped and was dragged underneath her vehicle," said Sands. The truck stopped on a lawn by a chain link fence. Zeigler was taken to Samaritan Hospital in Moses Lake and airlifted by helicopter to Spokane for reported injuries sustained from the incident. A Moses Lake Fire Department ambulance transported Zeigler. Police intend to arrest Zeigler for the felony warrant and felony eluding, once her health condition stabilizes, according to Sands.
Click through the picture to the large version.Click through the picture to the large version. This could only happen in South Africa … in the Free State … and in the city of dear … Bloemfontein. What next will embarrass us in the International area? Bloemfontein businessman Chris Snyman shows the ticket he was issued with when a traffic cop flagged him down - the reason: Drove motor vehicle while driving….. So please don’t................ “Drive a motor vehicle while driving” Regards Simon
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:LI Woman Hits, Backs Over Friend VALLEY STREAM, N.Y. (WPIX) — A Valley Stream woman is under arrest Tuesday after escalating an argument with a friend by running her over twice with her car, Nassau County police said. Melanie Spanopoulos, 20, of 955 Oaks Drive, was sitting in her car with her 21-year-old friend in the passenger seat, when the two began to argue Monday. The argument turned into a physical fight, and her friend, who is still unidentified, got out of the car. Spanopoulos wasn't done, however, and the brawl continued outside of the car, according to police. When her friend refused to get back into the car, a furious Spanopoulos got back into the vehicle and accelerated, slamming into the victim and knocking her to the ground. Spanopolous then threw it into reverse and backed over her friend before fleeing the scene. Her victim was able to flag down a passing motorist who, at her request, drove her home. After telling her father what happened, he took her to an area hospital where she was treated for a broken pelvis, broken leg and numerous abrasions. Spanopoulos is charged with assault in the first degree, and will be arraigned Tuesday in First District Court in Hempstead, LI.
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Click through the picture to the large version. Gene took a couple pictures of the ( almost) ever blooming Christmas cactus. Wanted to show you some of its berries. Only one shows here.Slightly to the right of center (blossom). This plant is fantastic with its flowers and it's the only one of the asst'd cactuses of this kind that we have,that gives fruit. We'll try to get a better 'berry photo' soon. Lillemor
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Click through the picture to the large version. Orchids
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Click through the picture to the large version. Be kind to your horse. It may be a long walk home!
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Click through the picture to the large version.Click through the picture to the large version. Hedesunda, Sweden
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If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:Also, in a different incident, detectives charged all five suspects with attempted residential burglary and impairing the phone line to a home on Oak Circle in the same community. The victims in that incident, a married couple, were awakened by loud banging noises back and at one point, the victims were face-to-face with one of the suspects. That suspect took off running, while the other suspects raced away in one red car and one black car, according to the Marion County Sheriff's Office.
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Click through the picture to the large version. Matterhorn
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Click through the picture to the large version.AND Muslims from the other side of the Sunni/Shiite divide! Have FUN! DearWebby
Click through the picture to the large version. The bridge is finished and in use now, but this must be the prettiest picture from the construction.
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:BLOOMINGTON, Minn. (WCCO) – A female shoplifting suspect hid a stolen mink coat in her underwear while she was in jail for three days. Stephanie Moreland was arrested New Year’s Eve by Bloomington Police after the Alaskan Fur Company reported a short mink coat was stolen by a woman who had been in the store and acting suspiciously. One of the sales associates, Simona Storchak, confronted Moreland when she saw a $6500 coat was missing. She said Moreland denied having the coat and took off. Storchak wrote down the license plate on the woman’s car and called police. When Bloomington officers located the car a short time later, they found a hanger from the store, but no coat. They searched her for weapons and booked her into their jail for the weekend on theft charges. Three days later, a detective interviewed Moreland who admitted she stole the coat but claimed she had already sold it. When the investigator informed Moreland he would be sending her to the Hennepin County Jail downtown, he was shocked when she lifted up her dress and pulled out the mink coat from her underwear. “She had modified her underwear. She actually cut the rear of the underwear out so that from the back it appeared she was not wearing underwear and then stuffed it down the front,” said Bloomington Police Commander Mark Stehlik. Stehlik said the suspect, who is 46 years old, weighs about 270 pounds which helped make it easier for her to conceal the short jacket.
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Click through the picture to the large version. Stars circle around the north celestial pole above an old oak in Lindholmen, Sweden. Lindholmen is where Gustav Vasa was born. He became the king of Sweden from 1523 until his death and is cosidered as the most famous king of Sweden. As noted by the photographer "Gustav Vasa planted this oak, a really fantastic tree, about 500 years ago and you can see some of the ruin from the house where he lived to the left."
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Click through the picture to the large version.Click through the picture to the large version. Monarchs at Pismo Beach, CA
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:Levar Bates PENNSYLVANIA – A man arrested on an open warrant when he arrived to court for a child custody hearing was allegedly also carrying heroin and marijuana. The incident happened Monday at the Allegheny County Courthouse when 33-year-old Levar Bates arrived for a child custody hearing. Following routine procedure, deputies ran a check on Bates and found he was wanted on a bench warrant for Harassment and Terroristic Threats stemming from a December 5 incident with his ex-girlfriend. Deputies immediately approached Bates and took him into custody without incident. When they searched him, deputies allegedly recovered two knotted baggies containing 92 stamp bags of heroin with names varying from ‘Waka Flocka,’ ‘Try Again,’ and ‘Survivor.’ Along with the heroin, deputies located another three baggies of marijuana. Bates was transported to the Allegheny County Jail where he will be held without bond until his arraignment on the warrant and new charges of Possession with Intent to Deliver a Controlled Substance and two counts of Possession of a Controlled Substance.
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Click through the picture to the large version. This Easter Cactus normally blooms in April, but something spooked it and caused it to bloom yesterday.
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Click through the picture to the large version.Click through the picture to the large version. View from Vancouver Island towards Saltspring Island
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