Dear Webby Humor Letter, Oct 13/06: Calling Tech Support 

Good Morning,   !
Friday,  October 13, 2006
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It's bad luck to be superstitious.
-- Socratex

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The very frugal business manager was checking on the
travel expenses of his salesmen, when he began to mutter,
then yell.

One of the salesmen worked up his courage and came
over to ask the boss what was wrong.

"Look at this crook's travel expenses," the boss said.
"How could he possibly spend forty dollars a day for
meals in that small town in Ohio?"

"It's easy," explained the salesman cheerfully.
"All you have to do is skip breakfast."

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=========================================== A "Sniveling Ninnie" award goes to Shaw.ca for losing mail If you are on Shaw.ca, don't expect a reply to your mails or help requests. Shaw.ca users are advised to switch gas, electricity and phone bills to gmail, AOL or hotmail until further notice.
If you want to read previous day's Humor Letters, browse to the blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
=========================================== A young man finally got a job at the Post Office. He was full of energy and eager to please. The supervisor agreed to work with the new employee, even though he had been warned that he was still immature and knew nothing of the job. The first job the supervisor gives the young man is in sorting, and much to everyone's surprise, the new employee separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. The supervisor was very pleased and asked the young man to come into his office at the end of the day. He said, "I just want you to know that we are all very proud of you. You're one of the fastest workers we have ever had." The humble young man said, "Thank you, sir. And tomorrow, I'll try to do even better." "Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do better?" The young man smiled proudly and said, "Tomorrow, I am going to read the addresses." ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Williams Ludlow, 30, of Severn, MD Almost filled out his arrest warrant October 10, 2006 - Severyn, Maryland - AP In this robbery, the suspect took cash -- and also left some behind. Police charged a 30-year-old man after he allegedly left his coin purse in the back seat of a taxi while robbing the cabbie. Inside the coin purse was the suspect's driver's license, Social Security card and paycheck. A 44-year-old cab driver with Diamond Cab Co. in Baltimore told police he picked up the suspect Friday night in Baltimore and dropped him off in Severn. Police said that after the suspect got out of the cab, he started hitting the driver's head. He stole an undisclosed amount of cash and a pack of cigarettes and ran away, police said. The cabbie called police and gave dispatchers the suspect's information. Officers showed up 12 minutes later at the suspect's front door. "We didn't really have to do much," said Officer Sara Schriver, a police department spokeswoman. Officers waited for the cab driver to arrive and identify the suspect. "Sometimes criminals aren't as clever as they think," Schriver said. ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Martin for this picture: ===========================================
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=========================================== A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, children, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the class said together. Then he asked, "Then why is it that while I am standing upright, in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "'Cause yer feet ain't empty!" ===========================================
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=========================================== Little Johnny loved surfing the Web, and kept track of his passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. His mother noticed his Disney password was, "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long. And little Johnny said, "Because, they said it has to have at least four characters." ============================================ Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! http://www.AFreeDish.com ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Sandy Re: Calling tech support Maybe this guy Neil could/would speak to hotmail/msn/webtv on my behalf? He has the patience of a saint because I don't have any. Im in Australia so I can't just pick up a phone and call their alleged tech people so I have to go via email and I know YOU know already why I don't even bother :-) As for yahoo, perhaps he could talk to them too - none of these cretins even bother sending me a reject/bounce message any more so I have no clue. People have stopped playing my game and I am to assume why - they may have just gone on holiday but I'll never know :-) Sandy. Dear Sandy I have a hunch that Neil uses Skype to make voice calls. With a headset it's not a big deal to wait on hold, and at a penny or less per minute, the cost becomes quite affordable. You can download Skype free at http://skype.com. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night, look at the moon." The other drunk stops and look at his drunk friend, "You are wrong, that's not the moon, that's the sun." Both started arguing for a while when they come upon another drunk walking so they stopped him. "Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?" The third drunk looked at the sky and then looked at them and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here." ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! http://www.Ask4Ink.com ========================================== Deeli's Kudos October 11, 2006 - Honolulu, Hawaii - AP Twenty-nine members of Congress have gone to bat for Hawaii bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman. They've sent a letter to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice asking her to deny the extradition of Chapman to Mexico. Chapman is the star of the popular A&E television show "Dog The Bounty Hunter." He was arrested last month along with two co-stars for illegal detention and conspiracy for his capture of fugitive convicted rapist Andrew Luster, the Max Factor heir, in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico in 2003. Bounty hunting is illegal in Mexico. Luster, brought back to the United States, is now serving a 124-year prison term. The capture led to Chapman's TV show. The letter said it seems Mexican authorities are pressing the case only because they are stung by the embarrassment of failing where Chapman succeeded. ============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ http://fire-cat.com/blog/ You can post your questions there and read current and past queries and replies, or email to the Express Empress at empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you. ============================================= Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Protecting Waxed Floors Prolong the life of waxed floors by using a dust mop instead of a broom. Broom bristles are harder on the wax than a soft dust mop. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
Check out their Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml Subscribe and get access to their new --------------------------------------------------------------------------
Holiday Craft Projects everyday at ThriftyFun! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here: http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/vote.html?pub_code=dailtt ======================================== One day a State Trooper was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto the street at the end of the ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting into his car. The driver placed the bucket of chicken on top of his car, got in and drove off with the bucket still on top of his car. So the trooper decides to pull him over and perform a community service by giving the driver his chicken. So he pulled him over, walked up to the car, pulled the bucket off the roof and offered it to the driver. The driver looks at the trooper and says, "No thanks, I just bought some." ======================================== Pervert Alerts By popular demand, the Pervert Alerts have been moved to a separate page. I will continue to do the research, but the results will not be mixed in with the humor here in the Humor Letter, but one click away at the Pervert Alerts Have FUN! DearWebby ======================================== To find a real bugler for military funerals, browse to Buglers ======================================== An Australian bank officer heard the following explanation for a farmer's money troubles: He said, "It all started back in 1966 when they changed pounds to dollars, me bloomin' overdraft doubled. Then they brought in kilograms instead of pounds and me wool clip dropped by half. Then they changed rain to millimeters and we haven't had a inch of rain since. They brought in Celsius and it never got over 40; no wonder me wheat wouldn't grow. Then they changed acres to hectares and I ended up with half the land I had. By that time, I'd had it and decided to sell out. I got the place in the agent's hands and they changed from miles to kilometers. Now, I'm too far out of town for anyone to buy the stinking place."
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
======================================== Thanks to Dianne for this Bonus Link: Butter Crocks http://webexhibits.org/butter/crocks.html ======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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