Dear Webby Humor Letter, Oct 15/06: Moped Mirror 

Good Morning,   !
Sunday,  October 15, 2006
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Before a war military science seems a real science,
like astronomy; but after a war it seems more like astrology.
-- Rebecca West

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Although he was a qualified meteorologist, a local broadcaster ran
up a terrible record of forecasting for the TV news program. He
became something of a local joke when a newspaper began
keeping a record of his predictions and showed that he'd been
wrong almost three hundred times in a single year.

That kind of notoriety was enough to get him fired.

He moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar
job. One blank on the job application called for the reason for
leaving his previous position.

In the blank he wrote quite honestly, "The climate didn't agree
with me."

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=========================================== A "Sniveling Ninnie" award goes to Shaw.ca for losing mail (not all provinces) If you are on Shaw.ca, don't expect a reply to your mails or help requests. Shaw.ca users are advised to switch gas, electricity and phone bills to gmail, AOL or hotmail until further notice.
If you want to read previous day's Humor Letters, browse to the blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
=========================================== The Pope is visiting Washington, DC and President Bush takes him out for an afternoon on the Potomac sailing on the Presidential yacht, the Sequoia. They're admiring the sights when, all of a sudden, the Pope's hat (zucchetto) blows off his head and out into the water. Secret service guys start to launch a boat, but President Bush waves them off, saying, "Wait, wait. I'll take care of this. Don't worry." Bush then steps off the yacht onto the surface of the water and walks out to the Holy Father's little hat, bends over and picks it up, then walks back to the yacht and climbs aboard. He hands the hat to the Pope amid stunned silence. The next morning the headlines on CNN and in the AOL/New York Times, Boston Globe, Milwaukee Sentinel-Journal, Minneapolis Tribune, Denver Post, Albuquerque Journal, Los Angeles Times and the San Francisco Chronicle proclaim: "Bush Can't Swim", followed by numerous pages of what every Democratic politician has to say about that. ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Dr. Charles Kay of Englewood, Colorado Too slow for 3 day notice October 13, 2006 - Greenwood Village, Colorado Hundreds of patients of a bankrupt Englewood doctor may be at risk for identity theft after his patients' records were dumped in a parking lot when he was evicted from his office Thursday afternoon. Dr. Charles Kay, who runs Orchard Family Practice, was evicted from his office near Belleview and Ulster. The Arapahoe County Sheriff's Department and the building management supervised the eviction while the doctor was not on site. Everything inside the doctor's office was dumped in the parking lot, including file cabinets full of personal patient information. Kay said the documents may contain patients' Social Security records, dates of birth and even addresses. He said he had not had a chance to look at the records that were left out since he had just driven up and saw what was happening. And before he drove up, witnesses say cabinets and desks, some with documents, were carted off by scavengers. Kay had been practicing for 15 years and recently declared bankruptcy. He said he was given a three-day notice before the court-ordered eviction and while he moved all patient folders to a secure location, he didn't have enough time to shred all of the sensitive documents including business records with patients. So, who's responsible for exposing hundreds of patients to identity theft? Is it the doctor, the sheriff's department or the building managers? Tom List, the lawyer for the management company who oversaw the eviction, wouldn't talk. The Arapahoe County Sheriff's Office, which had a deputy on site, has begun an investigation into whether agency policies were violated. A department official said his deputy's "legal requirement is to keep the peace" but "we are also required to exercise good judgement." and "that would not allow for patient records outside where they can be taken and used for identity theft." Considering that a court ordered eviction is a last resort action, usually long after a disobbeyed lease termination, Kay should have had plenty of time to remove the records. ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Dianne for this picture: =========================================== Last time I show this link. The CDs will continue to be available, but apparently only 0.03 % of the subscribers see the value in it. If you decide to get the CD later, just write me and I will send you the link. DearWebby
Synchronize your brain waves with this CD and improve your ability to focus. A very effective course is included! Being able to focus better also increases your reading speed, retention. and understanding. It also helps greatly with remembering names. For more info click on the CD or go to http://webby.com/opti
=========================================== A man answered his doorbell and greeted a friend who walked in followed by a very large dog. The dog immediately jumped up on the sofa with his muddy feet and proceeded to knock over a lamp and chew on the cushions. The outraged householder began to scold his friend, "Don't you think you should train your dog a little better?" "My dog?" exclaimed the friend, "I thought it was your dog!" ===========================================
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=========================================== Bob has been playing golf for years, and he has the finest equipment, but his technique has never improved a bit. As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole, he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods. "Why don't you use an old ball?" his friend asked. Bob replied: "Where do you buy old balls?" ============================================ Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! http://www.AFreeDish.com ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Lee Re: Links not working Dear Webby! When someone sends me an e-mail with a link,and I click on the link nothing happins.I am a novis on computers. What should I do to correct this problem. Thank you in advance. Lee Dear Lee There could be many reasons for that, but probably you have pop-ups blocked. First try holding down CTRL and double clicking the link. If still nothing happens, then the link probably has a typo in it. Tell whoever sent it to you, that the link does not work. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Groan Alert: Two keys hang in an undertaker's office - one for the organ in the chapel; the other for one of the cars in the garage. Two small signs above the keys read "Hymn" and "Hearse." ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! http://www.Ask4Ink.com ========================================== Deeli's Kudos October 11, 2006 - Pensacola, Florida - AP A Pensacola woman threw boiling water at an attacker. Now, authorities are looking for the man who pretended to be a cable repairman to get inside the home. The woman told Escambia County deputies that the attacker showed her a badge identifying him as a cable company employee and she let him in. He then tried to attack her. But the woman threw a pot of boiling water in the man's face and he then fled. ============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ http://fire-cat.com/blog/ You can post your questions there and read current and past queries and replies, or email to the Express Empress at empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you. ============================================= Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com October Best Buys Plan your meals around items that tend to be cheaper in October. Here's a list of some of the best bets during October. Apples, Beans, Beef, Beets, Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, Cauliflower, Chestnuts, Cranberries, Parsnips, Pears, Pork, Pumpkin, Scallops, Sweet Potatoes, Turkey, Turnips, and Winter Squash. Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
Check out their Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml Subscribe and get access to their new -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Holiday Craft Projects everyday at ThriftyFun! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here: http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/vote.html?pub_code=dailtt ========================================
Thanks to Fred for this story: Driving with my son for the first time since he got his permit, I was pleased to see how well he was handling the busy road we were traveling. Then, just past a traffic light, the lanes shifted, and he was straddling the dotted line dividing them. "Get into your own lane!" I yelled urgently. He looked at me in bewilderment. "Which one's mine?" ======================================== Pervert Alerts By popular demand, the Pervert Alerts have been moved to a separate page. I will continue to do the research, but the results will not be mixed in with the humor here in the Humor Letter, but one click away at the Pervert Alerts Have FUN! DearWebby ======================================== To find a real bugler for military funerals, browse to Buglers ======================================== A cop walking his usual beat sees an old man pulling a box on a leash, down a busy street. "Poor man," the cop thinks to himself. "I'd better go humor him." "That' a nice dog you got there," says the cop to the old man. "It isn't a dog, it's a box," replies the old man. "Oh, I'm sorry," says the policeman, "I thought you were a bit touched." The old man walks past the cop, then turns to his box, and says, "We sure fooled him that time, didn't we, Rover?"
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
======================================== Thanks to Dianne for this Bonus Link: Supai The Most Isolated Village in the United States http://www.desertusa.com/mag06/sep/supai.html VERY scenic and rewarding hike, especially for cactus photographers. Late April is best, but you better be in good shape, or carry money to hire a mule for the trip back up from the bottom of the canyon. ======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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