Dear Webby Humor Letter: Oct 18/06: Remove Popcorn 

Good Morning,  Text-Start !
Wednesday,  October 18, 2006

Not everything that counts can be counted,
and not everything that can be counted counts.
-- Albert Einstein

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Thanks to Martin for this story:
An oldie I used to tell about 30 years ago.

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter.
He says, "Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the
Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be
anyone you wish to be.

The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and poof, she's gone.

The second says, "I want to be Madonna" and poof, she's gone.

The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini.."

St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asks.

"Sara Pipalini;" replies the nun.

St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just
doesn't ring a bell."

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands
it to St. Peter.

St. Peter reads the article in the paper and starts laughing.
He hands it back to the nun and says,
"No, sister, the paper says it was the 'Sahara Pipeline'
that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months."

(If you laugh, you are going straight to hell!)

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=========================================== A "Sniveling Ninnie" award goes to for losing mail (not all provinces) Yahoo Mail for losing mail
If you want to read previous day's Humor Letters, browse to the blog at
=========================================== Grandpa and Grandma were sitting in their porch rockers watching the beautiful sunset and reminiscing about "the good old days". Grandma turned to Grandpa and said, "Honey, do you remember when we first started dating and you used to just casually reach over and take my hand?" Grandpa looked over at her, smiled and obligingly took her aged hand in his. With a wry little smile, Grandma pressed a little farther, "Honey, do you remember how after we were engaged, you'd sometimes lean over and suddenly kiss me on the cheek?" Grandpa leaned slowly toward Grandma and gave her a lingering kiss on her wrinkled cheek. Growing bolder still, Grandma said, "Honey, do you remember how, after we were first married, you'd kind of nibble on my ear?" Grandpa slowly got up from his rocker and headed into the house. Alarmed, Grandma said, "Honey, where are you going?" Grandpa replied, "Do get my deeth!" ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to a bank robber in Vienna, Austria Same jail time with a much cheaper gun October 17, 2006 - Vienna, Austria - Ananova A struggling Austrian toyshop owner was arrested after he tried to rob a bank with one of his toy guns. The 44-year-old, from Vienna, stormed into a local bank with a stocking over his head and a gun in his hand, and demanded clerks empty their tills. But a security guard noticed the 'weapon' was a plastic water pistol and asked him to hand over the toy to avoid "an even bigger embarrassment". The would-be robber told police: "I was driven to this desperate deed after my toy shop went bankrupt." ===========================================
Men have "character lines". Some women know about 60 Second Facelift.
=========================================== Hi Webby I am attaching a pic of an unknown red flower (I don't know the name) from the foothills of Himalayas. I took this about a month back. To all your dear readers. Cheers & Peace - Nari ===========================================
Mycheers Fall Postcards Huge selection, all of them free postcards.
=========================================== Thanks to Vern for this story: Preparing for a tag sale at our house, my wife and I decided to put out a mirror we'd received as a wedding gift. Because of its garish aqua colored metal frame we just couldn't find a room in our house where it looked good. Shortly after the tag sale started, a man looking to decorate his apartment bought it for one dollar. "This is a great deal," he said excitedly." It still has the plastic on it." Then he peeled off the aqua colored protective covering to reveal a beautiful gold finished frame. ===========================================
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=========================================== "What's the usual tip?" a man growled when the college boy who delivered his pizza. "Well," the student replied, "this is my first delivery, but the other guys said that if I got a quarter out of you, I'd be doing great." "That so?" grunted the man. "In that case, here's five dollars." "Thanks," the student said, "I'll put it in my college fund." "By the way, what are you studying?" "Applied psychology." ============================================ Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Barry Re: Popcorn Webby, Hope you can help me. I (my computer) has been invaded by spyware. Particularly a movie download site called Every once in a while this reminder notice pops up saying I must pay 29.95 or I will continue to be pestered. I have tryed to remove the software to no avail. Can you help?? A loyal reader, Barry Mason Dear Barry Somebody on your machine has apparently agreed to pay Popcorn after accepting a 3 day free trial of downloading stolen movies, and then cheerfully downloaded and installed a whole mess of trojans and malware and also the nagger that you noticed. If it was you, a strict diet of Smarties is highly recommended. There is a LOT of information about Popcorn avaliable on the net. You are not the only one who got conned by them. Popcorn CAN be removed manually, if you are comfortable with spending an hour messing around in the registry. The alternative is to use a popcorn remover like the one at Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== While on my desk assignment in the Army, I noticed that my co-worker never answered his phone. One day I asked him why, and he said, "If you had to pick up the telephone and say, 'Statistical section, Specialist Strastewskivich speaking,' would you want to answer the phone?" ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos October 17, 2006 - Salcombe, UK - Ananova An egg stolen from a museum has been returned - after 43 years. The little bustard's egg was anonymously returned to Overbeck's Museum, Salcombe, near Devon. It was wrapped in bubble wrap in an old cigar tin. Attached was a letter which said the egg was stolen during a hitch hiking trip in 1963. According to the BBC the thief added: "We do things as kids we would never dream of doing as adults. I was with a friend who stole a guillemot's egg at the same time. "However, as the little bustard's egg was by far the rarer, I am sure you'll be pleased to have it returned," He said he had not seen his fellow thief in a long time, and had no idea if the other egg had survived.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can post your questions there and read current and past queries and replies, or email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Today's Entrées and Tomorrow's Sandwiches Incorporate sandwiches into your weekly menu and one night's entrée can become tomorrow night's sandwiches. For example, have meat loaf one night and meat loaf sandwiches the next night. Some other ideas: Spaghetti and Meatballs and then meatball sandwiches. Turkey and then leftover hot turkey sandwiches with gravy. Roast beef and then french dip. Tip provided by Tonight I had leftover spaghetti and meat sauce stuffed into a hollowed out green pepper. Microwaved it to perfection in three minutes. Delicious! DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Subscribe and get access to their new -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Holiday Craft Projects everyday at ThriftyFun! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
A very outgoing and honest 7-year-old girl calmly admitted to her parents that Billy Brown had kissed her after class. Her mother gasped and said, "How did that happen?" The little girl said, "It wasn't easy, but three other girls helped me catch him and hold him down." ======================================== Pervert Alerts By popular demand, the Pervert Alerts have been moved to a separate page. I will continue to do the research, but the results will not be mixed in with the humor here in the Humor Letter, but one click away at the Pervert Alerts Have FUN! DearWebby ======================================== To find a real bugler for military funerals, browse to Buglers ======================================== Dear Webby Could you please tell me what a "gmail" is ? Thank you. Virginia Kelly Dear Virginia gmail is the email system provided by Google. It is rock solid and by far the best free email system around. gmail is real POP 3 mail, not IMAP like Hotmail, and you can receive it with professional email programs like Eudora or Pegasus or home use programs like Outlook Express or Outlook. In addition to that, it has a very capable browser interface to "peek" while at work or at a cybercafe or at a friend's place, without leaving anything on that machine. You can even set it to automatically forward a copy of all mail to another address, for example your RuralRoute addy. That way, when RR loses your subscriptions, you can still read them on your gmail. To keep the fly-by-nighters with their disposable hotmail or Yahoo addresses out, Google requires that somebody, with a gmail address in good standing, vouch for you and send you a referral. I highly recommend gmail! DearWebby
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== Well, Text-Start, I have some questions for you. If you were planning to give somebody a nice e-book for Christmas, would you choose A) Editing photos for better results or B) Organic indoor herb garden These are not trick questions. I really DO want your honest opinion. Just fire the letter back at me and put A or B into the subject line. If you have any questions that you would want to see addressed in a book like that, by all means tell me. I am taking a course to improve my writing, and this mini survey is part of my homework. If you can suggest a better topic or title, don't be shy! Tell me! You know that I listen to you. Have FUN! DearWebby
Thanks to Dianne for this Bonus Link: Witches Secret
======================================== Text-Start, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, Text-Start, that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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