Dear Webby Humor Letter, Oct 21/06: Hotmail Woes 

Good Morning,   !
Saturday,  October 21, 2006

The highest use of capital is not to make more money,
but to make money do more for the betterment of life.
-- Henry Ford

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
 Thanks for your votes!

Thanks for this classic from Shella:

Two little ole Ladies sitting in rocking chairs on the front
porch. First one says to the second one
"Martha, When George was still alive, did y'all have
mutual orgasms?"
After a few moments of silence Martha says
"Why Ethel, I believe we had State Farm Insurance"

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=========================================== A "Sniveling Ninnie" award goes to for losing mail (not all provinces) Hotmail for losing mail Yahoo Mail for losing mail
If you want to read previous day's Humor Letters, browse to the blog at
=========================================== A honeymoon couple is in the Watergate Hotel in Washington. The bride is concerned "What if the place is still bugged?" The groom says, "I'll look for a bug." He looks behind the drapes, behind the pictures, under the rug "AHA!" Under the rug was a disc with four screws. He gets his Swiss army knife, unscrews the screws, throws them and the disc out the window. The next morning, the hotel manager asks the newlyweds "How was your room? How was the service? How was your stay at the Watergate Hotel?" The groom says, "Why are you asking me all of these questions?" The hotel manager says, "Well, the room under you complained about the chandelier falling on them!" ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to the DOT in New York Creative revenue generation September 1, 2006 - New York - AP Dude, where's my car? And what's that No Parking sign doing here? Several Brooklyn residents woke up to find their street empty -- because someone had posted a No Parking sign and police had towed their rides. The sign, which bans parking on a street in the neighborhood from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. weekdays, mysteriously appeared Monday or Tuesday, residents said, and then police started ticketing and towing cars parked there. But the Department of Transportation says there aren't any parking restrictions in the area and it doesn't know who posted the placard, which looks official. Resident David Bourgeois said he had to pay $205 to retrieve his Mini Cooper, with a $60 ticket on the windshield, from a police pound Wednesday after it was hauled away. "It's just outrageous," he told the Daily News for Friday editions. The DOT said it would 'try' to dismiss the ticket -- and take down the No Parking sign. =========================================== =========================================== ===========================================
Mycheers Fall Postcards Huge selection, all of them free postcards.
=========================================== During the big DUI Dragnet, a Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular local bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time as everyone came out, he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car. After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his own vehicle. He sat in the car a good ten minutes as the other patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on then off. He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away. The Patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He administered the breathalizer test, and to his great surprise the man blew a 0.00! The Patrolman was dumbfounded! "This equipment must be broken!" exclaimed the Patrolman. "I doubt it," said the apparent drunk, "tonight I'm the Designated Decoy!" ===========================================
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=========================================== "So, what's the matter? I thought you just got back from a nice relaxing fishing trip with your husband." "Oh, everything went wrong: First he said I talked so loud I would scare the fish. Then he said I was using the wrong bait; and then that I was reeling in too soon. "All that might have been all right; but then, to make matters worse, I ended up catching the most fish!" ============================================ Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Maria Re: Hotmail woes Hi Dear Webby, I miss you........the last letter I received from you is this one. (dated Oct.16) What is happening ? Am I no longer on your mailing list? I really enjoy reading you, and hope you will be able to correct this. Keep up the good work. Maria Dear Maria garden*****|Maria|humor That shows me that your subscription has been sent to your address today and every day. However, once it has entered the hoe mail server, there is nothing more that I can do about it. You can read what I had sent to you in the Blog at Have you considered getting a respectable email address? I sent you an invitation to Gmail. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== From a church bulletin: A family-type film, suitable for both children and parents, will be shown at the Sunday evening service at 6:00 p.m. Free puppies will be given to all children not accompanied by a parent. ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos September 6, 2006 - Saskatoon - Canadian Press A regular afternoon nap normally isn't an excuse to skip jury duty, but 103-year-olds aren't usually summoned to court, either. However, Phyllis Perkins, a resident at the Luther Tower care facility in Saskatoon, did indeed receive a summons to act as a juror recently. She asked to be excluded from serving because "jury duty might interrupt my nap time." "We all had a good laugh," said Perkins, who was born in Parkhill, Ont., in 1903, but moved with her family to Saskatchewan while she was still a baby. "I'm not a person who wants to be in the limelight, but we've had a lot of fun with this." Perkins said she had some help filling out her reply to the sheriff's office. "You get to be 103 and things aren't all there. Of course, I have trouble seeing, so the kids read (the summons) and said they'd fix it up." Citizens over 65 are automatically exempt from jury duty upon request, but can attend if they desire, said Gordon Laing, sheriff for Saskatoon. "All people have to do is indicate they're over 65 and we don't question it. It's automatic."
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can post your questions there and read current and past queries and replies, or email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Label It Before It Goes In The Freezer Attach a marker to your fridge and write a date on everything you put in your freezer. If you don't want to write on reusable freezer containers, just attach a label with the date on it. Before you go shopping, take stock of what you have in the freezer and plan meals that use it up. Tip provided by Don't get too literal with the labeling. Label the stuff with what people ask for: "Food!", Something good", "Anything", "Whatever", etc. That way you will always have just the right items. Have FUN! DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Subscribe and get access to their new -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Holiday Craft Projects everyday at ThriftyFun! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
When I was working as a clerk at a sporting-goods store, a woman came up to my register with a package of white athletic socks. "Will you open this so I can see how the socks feel?" she asked. Reluctantly I tore open the package, and she scrutinized the merchandise. She handed me the package, saying, "I'll take them." Relieved, I started to ring her up, until she interrupted me. "Can I have another pack? This one's been opened." I told her: "I'll go talk to the manager", locked the till, took the opened package and dropped it back on the shelf on my way to a better job. ======================================== Pervert Alerts By popular demand, the Pervert Alerts have been moved to a separate page. I will continue to do the research, but the results will not be mixed in with the humor here in the Humor Letter, but one click away at the Pervert Alerts Have FUN! DearWebby ======================================== To find a real bugler for military funerals, browse to Buglers ======================================== Dear Webby I am amazed every day about how much work you put into your newsletter, and I do appreciate it. I would stay subscribed, even if you charged a bit for it. Yours Helen
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
Thanks to Dianne for this Bonus Link: Vermont Country Store
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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