Dear Webby: Desktop Background pictures 

Good Morning,   !
Sunday,  December 3, 2006
======================================

Home again!
I spent the last two days in Los Angeles attending courses
 from 7:45 am to 10 pm and scribbling notes like crazy.
Managed to get the Humor Letter out and got most of my
chores done, but some mail had to wait.

======================================
, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
 Thanks for your votes!
===========================================

Thanks to a reader who does not want his name mentioned,
for sending this joke:

A guy sitting at a bar at Heathrow Terminal 3 noticed a
really beautiful woman sitting next to him.

He thought to himself: "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must
be a flight attendant. But which airline does she work for?"

Hoping to pick her up, he leaned towards her and said the
Delta Airline slogan: "Love to fly and it shows?"

She gave him a confused look and he immediately thought
to himself: "Damn, she doesn't work for Delta Airlines."

A moment later, another slogan popped into his head.
He leaned towards her again, "Something special in the air?"

She gave him the same confused look.
He then removed Singapore Airlines off the list.
Next he tried the Thai Airways slogan: "Smooth as Silk."
This time the woman turned to him
"What the HELL do you want?"
The man smiled, then lay back in his chair, and said
"Ahhhhh, Royal Jordanian!"

------------------------------

Definitely not a WestJet stewardess! They seem to be the
friendliest of any airline, both in the air and on the ground.
They seem to be the grand daughters of the American Airlines
stewardesses, or great grand daughters, but they handle their
jobs with such casual efficiency and cheer that I am amazed
every time I fly. If you are lucky enough that WestJet flies to
your town, try them out!

===========================================

  A "Sniveling Ninnie" award goes to
   Bellsouth.net for censoring mail
   Yahoo for losing mail
   Hotmail.com for losing mail
   MSN for losing mail
   Shaw.ca for losing mail



Currently Google's gmail is by far the most reliable of all
the free email services, and better than most of the paid
for services. I highly recommend Google's gmail!
DearWebby

If you want to read previous day's Humor Letters, browse to the blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
=========================================== Thanks to Sandie for this joke: Three men died on Christmas Eve and weremet by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. "In honour of thisholy season," Saint Peter said, "you must each possess something thatsymbolizes Christmas to get into heaven." The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. It represents a candle, he said. You may pass through the pearly gates Saint Peter said. The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shookthem and said, "They're bells." Saint Peter said you may pass through the pearly gates. The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulledout a pair of women's panties. St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, "And justwhat do those symbolize?" The man replied, "These are Carol's." ===========================================
Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter
=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to the Plasanton, California Shool Irresponsible teachers teaching rsponsible parenting December 1, 2006 - Pleasanton, California - AP The perils of parenting apparently can be discovered through a classroom project. A startled 17-year-old girl swerved her car into a freeway guardrail and slammed into a pickup truck after the realistic sounding baby doll in her care suddenly began to cry. The teenager had just picked up the doll as part of a school project on responsible parenting minutes before the accident occurred Tuesday on I-580, said Steve Creel, a spokesman for the California Highway Patrol. The educational doll cries and wets itself and has a recording device that monitors how long it takes the doll's "parent" to respond to its crying. The girl, whose named was not released because of her age, was driving around 65 miles per hour in a Mini Cooper when the fake baby sprang to tears, causing her to crash into the guardrail and swerve back onto the freeway where she hit a Ford F-350 pickup truck. "When officers arrived, she was still caring for the baby," Creel said. No one was seriously injured in the crash, but the CHP will pursue charges because the girl was driving without a license, he said. ----------------------------- Cellphones are illegal to use while driving, but babysitting is OK? The boneheads who released the training baby into the girl's care, knowing that she was driving home with it, should be charged with attempted murder! That girl could have caused a major accident with dozens of people killed! ===========================================
Need some unique Christmas cards in a hurry? There is a great selection at Hicards
=========================================== Thanks to Dianne for this picture:. ===========================================
Mycheers Christmas Postcards Huge selection, all of them free postcards.
=========================================== Sven was out shopping in the mall when he met his friend Ole outside the jewelers. Ole noticed that Sven had a small gift-wrapped box in his hand. "So vat have you just purchased Sven?" Ole asks. "Vell, now that you've asked," replies Sven, "it's my Lena's birthday tomorrow and I asked her this morning vat she vanted for her birthday she said, 'Oh, I don't know, dear, yust give me something with a lot of diamonds in it.'" "So vat did you get her?" Ole asks. Sven replied, smiling, "I bought her a deck of cards." =========================================== Thanks to Dave for this story: Once upon a time, a woman had a wonderful, faithful cat. One day, a man ran over the cat accidentally with his car. So, the man went to the old woman and said, "I'm terribly sorry about your cat. I'd like to replace him." "That so nice of you!", said the old woman, deeply touched. "How good are you at catching mice?" ============================================ Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! http://www.AFreeDish.com ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bonnie Re: Desktop Background Dear Webby, I have a question that you may be able to help with (or not). I find tons of photos all over the internet that I love to use for our desktop background, changing it often. Most of the time they work; other times, they come out in repeat squares of the photo all over the screen rather than one very nice photo. I’ve attached 2 of those that do this; would you open them, then try to choose as background and see what happens. If you get repeats all over too, is there any chance you can tell me why? I know that with my luck, they’ll work fine for you! If that’s the case, then I give up and will just hang on to the ones I find that work and say c’est la vie. I look forward to hearing from you whenever you have time to play around. Thanks a bunch and also many thanks always for my DearWebby letter; I love them! Bonnie in NH Dear Bonnie Those pictures are too small to look nice when stretched to the entire desktop. For best results, resize pictures to whatever you have set for your screen resolution. If you have your resolution set to 1600 x 1200 (like I do), then a 400 x 300 picture would have to be stretched 4 times, and probably would look very coarse and ugly. Sometimes you can shuffle the size up in increments. Double the size, do an edge-preserving-smoothing, sharpen a bit, then increase the size again, and so on. It doesn't work with all pictures, but some may be worth trying. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! http://www.Ask4Ink.com ========================================== Deeli's Kudos December 2, 2006 - Africa - AP Zenabou Nikiema smiles gratefully as she breastfeeds her two-year-old son and recalls the night a high fever shook his body until he nearly fell unconscious. "His temperature was very high late in the night and I rushed out to buy the medicine for him with the community health worker," Nikiema said. "We do not need to travel far … and the affordability of the medicine is another reason to rush for treatment." That is the simple story of how Nikiema stopped her son from being a statistic among 15,000 children who die from malaria every year in Burkina Faso - approximately one child every 30 minutes. Across sub-Saharan Africa, the mosquito-borne illness claims one million lives annually, according to the United Nations. The medicine Nikiema bought for her son is subsidised by a Burkinabe pilot project called Home Malaria Management (HMM), which aims to curb high malaria death rates among children by providing medicine to community clinics for 100-200 CFA (US 10 - 20 cents) Normally, the drugs cost up to 4,500 CFA (US $9) in pharmacies for a full course treatment.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ http://fire-cat.com/blog/ You can post your questions there and read current and past queries and replies, or email to the Express Empress at empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Pets Require and Time and Money
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml Subscribe and get access to their new -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Holiday Craft Projects everyday at ThriftyFun! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here: http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/vote.html?pub_code=dailtt ========================================
A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine." ======================================== To find a real bugler for military funerals, browse to Buglers Pervert Alerts are now at http://posty.net/pervertalerts/ ======================================== From another reader who wants to NOT have her name mentioned: Hi Webby How are you and yours? I loved the 'story' about the "George and Dragon", still laughing because I know which "George and Dragon" pub that is in England it's in West Wycombe Buckinghamshire, and yes George probably would have been the 'best bet' I'm sending the story on to some friends who 'frepuent' that particular pub, they'll laugh too. Regards ***** (who should remain nameless if you print this for obvious reasons. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- From Carla Marriott Hotels have also a policy now of no smoking in any of their hotels. --------------- I guess emptying the odd ash tray would be too much like customer service.
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog You can enter comments in the blog!
======================================== ======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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