Dear Webby: What's a Clickbook ? 

Merry Christmas,   !
Tuesday,  December 26, 2006
Traditionally St Walmart's day, and recently also
Kwaanza, at least for politically correct Afro-Americans
in the USA, who want to extend the gift buying season
by a week beyond the Christmas Specials.
Happy Kwaanza!


Never go out to meet trouble. If you will just sit still,
in nine cases out of ten
someone will intercept it before it reaches you.
--- Calvin Coolidge

So many of our dreams at first seem impossible,
then they seem improbable, and then when we summon
the will, they soon become inevitable."
--- Christopher Reeve

Things could be worse. I could be one of my creditors.
---Henny Youngman


If you want Clickbook for your own or somebody else's
Christmas present at $20 off, better hurry! In a few days it
will go back to the normal price. Click on the ClickBook
icon in the left side menu, or go to

I got Clickbook years ago and use it all the time.
Sooner or later you are going to get it too,
but if you snooze, you loose $20. Click on it now!
60 day warranty!


, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
 Thanks for your votes!

Two caterpillars are sitting on a leaf when a butterfly
zooms by, startling them.

One turns to the other and says, "Boy, you'll never get ME
up in one of those things."


  A "Sniveling Ninnie" award goes to for censoring mail
   Yahoo for losing mail for losing mail
   MSN for losing mail for losing mail

If you want to read previous day's Humor Letters, browse to the blog at
=========================================== The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test. Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?" A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered, "A basketball coach?" ===========================================
Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter
=========================================== December 31 will be a Darwin Award special with all the Darwin Awards of THIS year. (Not re-runs of ancient ones) Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Barry Cooper, of Tyler, Texas December 22, 2006 - Tyler, Texas - AP A one-time Texas drug agent described by his former boss as perhaps the best narcotics officer in the country plans to market a how-to video on concealing drugs and fooling police. Barry Cooper, who has worked for small police departments in East Texas, plans to launch a Web site next week where he will sell his video, "Never Get Busted Again," the Tyler Morning Telegraph reported in its online edition Thursday. A promotional video says Cooper will show viewers how to "conceal their stash," "avoid narcotics profiling" and "fool canines every time." Cooper, who said he favors the legalization of marijuana, made the video in part because he believes the nation's fight against drugs is a waste of resources. Cooper said his Web site should be operating by Tuesday. As a drug officer, Cooper said, he made more than 800 drug arrests and seized more than 50 vehicles and $500,000 in cash and assets. "He was even better than he says he was," said Tom Finley, Cooper's former boss on a West Texas drug task force and now a private investigator in Midland. "He was probably the best narcotics officer in the state and maybe the country during his time with the task force." News of the video has angered authorities, including Richard Sanders, an agent with the Tyler Drug Enforcement Agency. Sanders said he plans to investigate whether the video violates any laws. Smith County Deputy Constable Mark Waters, a narcotics officer, said the video is insulting to law enforcement officials. "This is a slap in the face to all that we do to uphold the laws and keep the public safe," he said. ------------------------------------------------- Double Bonehead: 1) Guess which places the cops are going to check first, once the video is out? 2) Telling th 800 or so people that he busted, exactly where his office is, might not be such a smart idea, especially considering that he probably won't get very enthusiastic help from the current cops. ===========================================
Need some unique New Years cards in a hurry? There is a great selection at Hicards
=========================================== hanks to my dad for sending this picture. ===========================================
Beautiful Christmas eCards
=========================================== A state trooper notices a car weaving in the road, and when he pulls it over a beautiful woman gets out. She is clearly under the influence, but just to make sure he gives her the breathalyzer test. Sure enough, she's over the limit, so the trooper says, "Madam, you've had a couple of stiff ones. "Oh," says the lady, "it shows that too?" =========================================== Two daughters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their Church. At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the most important role. Finally the 10 year old said to her younger sister, "Well you just ask Mom. She'll tell you it's much harder to be a virgin than it is to be an angel." ============================================ Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Bill farmer Re: ClickBook Dear Webby: I might buy one if I knew what a clickbook is - any help? Bill Dear Bill ClickBook is printer software. Once you install it, you can print stuff in about 170 different formats,from day-planners to posters. You just hit PRINT and then select for example "Folded Paperback". It then re-formats whatever you plan to print, runs all the front sides, then tells you to drop the printed stack down into the input tray again, and prints the back sides. When done, you just fold it, and you have a paperback book size booklet, all correctly collated and ready for stapling. That way you have smaller, easier to read pages, and save 75% on paper and on ink. You don't have to worry about what page goes onto the back side of page 1 or beside page 15. It does all that for you. All you do is select the format. I use it for all e-books. Instead of a stack of loose papers, I have nice, paperback size booklets that are easy to stand on the shelf like any other books, and are of course a LOT more manageable for reading on a plane or in a car. I also print out warranties and manuals the same way. "Folded Paperback" is just one out of about 170 different formats that you can choose from. It's not just e-books that you can print, but EVERYTHING. ClickBook doesn't care if the stuff to be printed originated in email, a spreadsheet, word processor, web page, paint program, whatever. It just intercepts the print jobs and formats them the way you want them. And when you want to print normal, full size, you simply select the normal printer. CTRL P brings up the Print dialog, and you hit OK to print with your default printer or select ClickBook. In that dialog box it appears as if it was a different printer. If you choose it, you get to choose the format, and then you hit OK. Probably sounds complicated the way I describe it, but it's actually quite simple and straightforward. You can order it from the link in the side menu, where I have had it amongst the essentials for ages, or with this shortcut: ClickBook Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos December 17, 2006 - Sussex, UK -BBC News A 91-year-old man from East Sussex has become the oldest person in Britain to go paragliding, according to his son. Reg Rose-Innes, from Beddingham, flew above Devil's Dyke in Sussex for a 20-minute flight at 800ft (243m). He said after the tandem flight: "It was marvellous being up in the air. It was a gorgeous view and lovely day." Mr Rose-Innes' son, Crispin, 57, said: "We thought it would be a wonderful opportunity for my father to have a go before he bites the bullet." The 91-year-old added that his son, Crispin, "pushed me into it." Crispin Rose-Innes, who has been paragliding with his wife for seven years, said his father was "most definitely the oldest person in Britain to have ever flown in a paraglider". Pilot Owen Latham said Mr Rose-Innes had watched paragliders out of his kitchen window for the past 20 years and had always thought about doing it. "It just shows that the sport is open to all ages. I think it's amazing," he said. Asked if he would repeat today's flight, Mr Rose-Innes, a retired grassland ecologist, said: "If I get a chance. If people can put up with doddery old men trying to fly. It was terrific."
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can post your questions there and read current and past queries and replies, or email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Label Boxes of Decorations Be sure to label your boxes of Christmas decorations and try to be as detailed as possible. This could save you time next Christmas if you decide you don't want to use all your decorations but just select some items.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Subscribe and get access to their new -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Holiday Craft Projects everyday at ThriftyFun! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
Sadie and Yetta, two widows, are talking: Sadie: "That nice Morris Finkleman asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer." Yetta: "Vell.... I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctual like a clock. An like such a mench he is dressed. Fine suit, wonderful lining. And he brings me such beautiful flowers you could die from. Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but such a beautiful car.....a limousine even, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for a dinner.....Marvelous dinner. Lobster even. Den ve go see a show....let me tell you Sadie, I enjoyed it so much I could just die from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment, and into an ANIMAL he turns. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me, two times he does!" Sadie: "Oy! you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him?" Yetta: "No... I'm just saying that if you go, wear an old dress...." ======================================== To find a real bugler for military funerals, browse to Buglers Pervert Alerts are now at ======================================== The suave Central American diplomat was talking to the prim and proper Washington hostess. "In my country," he said, "the most popular of all activities is making love." Shocked, the wide eyed hostess said, "Oh!! Isnt that revolting!" "No," the diplomat said. "That's our second favorite activity...."
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at You can enter comments in the blog!
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Christmas in Antarctica
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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