Dear Webby: Family Tree Program 


Good morning,   !
Friday,  December 29, 2006
Wear something red to show your support for the troops!
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Where is there dignity unless there is honesty?
--- Cicero

Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the
absolute rejection of authority.
--- Thomas H. Huxley

The impossible has a kind of integrity which the
merely improbable lacks.
--- Douglas Adams

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If you want Clickbook for your own or somebody else's
Christmas present at $20 off, better hurry! In a few days it
will go back to the normal price. Click on the ClickBook
icon in the left side menu, or go to
Clickbook

I got Clickbook years ago and use it all the time.
Sooner or later you are going to get it too,
but if you snooze, you loose $20. Click on it now!
60 day warranty!

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, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
 Thanks for your votes!
===========================================

A customer moves away from a bank window, counts his change,
and then goes back and says to the cashier,
"Hey, you gave me the wrong change!"

Cashier: "Sir, you stepped away from the counter. We don't
make corrections after you leave. There's nothing I can do
about it now. That's the policy of this bank!"

Customer: "Well, okay. Just thought you'd like to know you gave
me twenty dollars too much. Bye. "

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  A "Sniveling Ninnie" award goes to
   Bellsouth.net for censoring mail
   Yahoo for losing mail
   Hotmail.com for losing mail
   MSN for losing mail
   Shaw.ca for losing mail

If you want to read previous day's Humor Letters, browse to the blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
=========================================== A doting father used to sing his little children to sleep until he overheard the four-year-old tell the three-year-old, "If you pretend you're asleep, he stops." ===========================================
Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter
=========================================== December 31 will be a Darwin Award special with all the Darwin Awards of THIS year. (Not re-runs of ancient ones) Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Miyoko Kawahara, 59, in Heguri, Nara Prefecture, Japan Woman gets 20-months for loud music Tue Dec 26, 4:23 PM ET TOKYO - A Japanese woman charged with inflicting injury on her neighbor by blasting rock music at her house for more than two years was given a 20-month prison term Tuesday, a court official said. Miyoko Kawahara, 59, was sentenced by the Osaka High Court, revoking an initial ruling that had given her a one-year prison term, court spokesman Takanao Kawasaki said. Kawahara in Heguri, Nara Prefecture (state) in western Japan, was accused of causing insomnia and headaches to her next-door neighbor by playing loud dance music almost 24 hours a day on a portable stereo she had pointed at her neighbor's house, 20 feet away. She was arrested on April 11, 2005. The two women had had a number of disagreements that police did not elaborate on. "The defendant ignored calls by local authorities and continuously played music at a high volume for some 29 months," Kyodo News agency quoted presiding Judge Hiroshi Furukawa as telling the court. In handing down a longer prison term than a local court ruling in April, this year, Furukawa told the court that the defendant "still maintains a hostile attitude toward the victim and it is highly likely she will commit the crime again," Kyodo said. Doctors had diagnosed the neighbor as having insomnia and headaches they attributed to the noise. Kawahara started blasting the music in November 2002 and continued until her arrest. Under Japanese law, those convicted of inflicting injury on another person face up to 10 years in prison and a fine of up to 300,000 yen ($2,520). ===========================================
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=========================================== Kids dressed up as Santas in India ===========================================
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=========================================== Accident Report Form I am writing in response to your request for additional information. In block number 3 in the Accident Report Form I put "Lost Presence-of-Mind" as the cause of my accident. You asked in your letter that I should explain more fully, and I trust the following details will be sufficient.... I am a bricklayer, by trade. On the day of the accident I was working alone on the roof of a new 6 story building. When I completed my work, I discovered I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over. Rather than carry them down by hand, I decided to lower them down in a barrel, using a pully, which fortunately was attached to the building at the 6th floor. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went to the ground floor, untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will note in block number 3 of the Accident Reporting Form, that I weigh 145 pounds. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence-of-mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a high rate up the side of the building. In the vicinity of the 3rd floor, I met the barrel coming down--this explains the fractured skull and broken collar bone.... Slowed, only so slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my hand were 2 knuckles deep into the pully. Fortunately, by this time I had regained my presence-of-mind, and was able to hold tightly to the rope inspite of my increasing pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottem fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed approximately 50 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 3, and as you might imagine--I began a rapid decent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the 3rd floor, yes, I met the barrel coming up, this accounts for the 2 fractured ankles, and the lacerations on my legs and lower body.... The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of bricks, and fortunately, only 3 vertebrae were cracked.... I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel 6 stories above me, I again lost my presence-of-mind, and let go of the rope. The empty barrel weighed more than the rope--so it came down on me and broke both my legs.... I trust I have furnished you the information you require as to how this accident occurred =========================================== Safety officials in America who evacuated a school because of a disgusting smell have found its cause - a rotting packed lunch. A hazardous materials unit was sent to the secondary school in Berkeley, New Jersey to investigate the smell. They found the rotting lunch behind a row of lockers. Two teachers and a student were admitted to hospital complaining of breathing problems ============================================ Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! http://www.AFreeDish.com ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Maggie Re: Family Tree Maker Dear Webby: do you have a family tree maker? maggie maggie Dear Maggie Here are the suggestions that came in: I've used Family Tree Maker http://www.familytreemaker.com/ for years and it's done a good job. The newest version, # 16 runs about $40 up to $70 when bundled with other software. I think mine is version 5 or 6 and I've seen no need to upgrade. Would imagine there are oodles of older versions available on Amazon. First though, for Maggie, or anyone else just starting out or an old hand, take a look at this site: Cyndi's List of Genealogy Sites on the Internet http://www.cyndislist.com/ Martin ---------------------------- My mom has used PAF (Personal Ancestral File) for years and years. It's free from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I believe they specialize in ancestry and have volumes upon volumes of ancestery information also. Their website is: http://www.familysearch.org/ Noella --------------------------- Here is agood source for a Family Tree maker... Bill R: http://snipurl.com/15yya http://store.worldstart.com/product.php ... amp;page=1 ---------------------------- I use Broderbund Deluxe 10 CD Set Find it easy to use and lots of good information: Roland I located that on Amazon: Amazon --------------------------- This is what I have, also you can go to www.familysearch.org/ and do a search There is pedigree charts that can be used there also. You would be surprised what you can find on that site regarding your family history, even though my family is not of the Mormon faith Jackie --------------------------- Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! http://www.Ask4Ink.com ========================================== Deeli's Kudos December 20, 2006 - Sandusky, Ohio - AP Cedar Point Amusement Park roller coasters and rides shake a lot of loose change from its visitors' pockets during the summer. Now, the park is giving all of it to charity -- to the tune of $7,500. The amusement park on the shores of Lake Erie will donate the money to Victory Temple Soup Kitchen here from its loose change fund, officials said. Cedar Point employees collect and turn in any loose change found underneath rides, on the midway or in the park's fountains. The park has donated more than $170,000 to local organizations since 1988.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ http://fire-cat.com/blog/ You can post your questions there and read current and past queries and replies, or email to the Express Empress at empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Vinegar for Fish Odors After frying fish or something that leaves a lingering odor in the house, put out several bowls with about a 1/2 cup white vinegar. This works well particularly in the kitchen, for several hours or overnight. The odor will disappear. By Pam
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml Subscribe and get access to their new -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Holiday Craft Projects everyday at ThriftyFun! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here: http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/vote.html?pub_code=dailtt ========================================
A Slobodian, an Italian and an Irishman got out of work and were deciding where to go for a drink. The Irishman said "Let's all go to O'Learys. With every third round, the bartender will give each of us a free Guiness." The Italian said "That sounds good, but if we go to Baldini's with every third round they bring a free bottle of wine to the table." The Slobodian said "That sounds fine but if we go to Kowalski's we drink for free all night and then go out into the parking lot and get laid a few times." "That sounds to good to be true!" the Irishman exclaimed. "Have you actually been there?" "No," the Slobodian replied, "but my wife goes there all the time." ======================================== To find a real bugler for military funerals, browse to Buglers Pervert Alerts are now at http://posty.net/pervertalerts/ ======================================== A Girl Guide troop leader suddenly came upon a clearing where a couple was engaged in an activity that had their heads pointing in different dirctions. "Back ladies, back!" cried the leader. "There's a very dangerous beast out there!" But it was too late, as several of her girls had more-or-less seen the deed happening. They asked their leader what it was the couple was doing. "Well, err.... if you must know, uh, they were practicing a brand new form of artificial respiration... yeah, that's it, it's artificial respiration!" "WOW!" exclaimed the oldest of the group. "I know which merit badge I'm gonna try for next!"
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog You can enter comments in the blog!
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Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link: Dogsled.com's 2007 Alaska Getaway Giveaway http://www.dogsled.com/
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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