Dear Webby: Lost Files 

Good Morning,   !
Thursday,  January 11, 2007
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If you can't, you must. If you must, you can.
-- Anthony Robbins

The louder he talked of his honor,
the faster we counted our spoons.
--- Ralph Waldo Emerson

=======================================

A one dollar bill met a twenty dollar bill in the cash reg-
ister of a local grocery store. "Hey, where have you been?
I haven't seen you around here much."

The twenty answered, "I've been hanging out at the casinos,
went on a cruise and did the rounds of the ship. I just got
back to the States recently, went to a couple of baseball
games, to the mall, that kind of stuff. How about you?"

The one dollar bill said, "You know, same old stuff - church,
church, church..."

Confused the twenty replied: "What's a church?"

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The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned
from work: "I have great news for you. Pretty soon we're
going to be three in this house instead of two."The
husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his
wife said: "Oh darling, I'm the happiest man in the
world."

But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel this way
about my mother moving in with us tomorrow morning ."

===========================================

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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Sebrina Hill, 35 of Cleveland Heights, Ohio Dumb as a snake January 6, 2007 - Cleveland Heights, Ohio - Canadian Press Call it the cost of an education: a mother and son accused of stealing a snake from a pet store were arrested when they returned to the store and asked for books on how to care for the animal, police said. Store clerks recognized the suspects from surveillance video taken during the theft and stalled them until police arrived. The video showed the 15-year-old taking the 75-centimetre baby boa from its cage, wrapping it around his neck and hiding it with his jacket, while his mother acted as a lookout, police said. The video appeared to show the head of the red-tail boa sticking out of the boy's jacket collar, police said. Mother and son were arrested Dec. 22. The snake, worth US$300, was recovered from their home and returned to the Petland in this Cleveland suburb, police said. Sebrina Hill, 35, faces theft charges and is scheduled to appear in court next month. Her son was booked and placed in the custody of relatives, police said. ===========================================
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=========================================== A man decides to have a face lift for his birthday. Even though it cost almost twice as much as what his wife had spent for an invenstment in silicone at Jiffy Boobs, he feels really good about the result. On his way home, he stops at a news-stand and buys a paper. Before leaving he says to the clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply. "I'm actually 47," the man says, feeling really happy. After that he goes into McDonalds for lunch and asks the order clerk the same question, to which the reply is, "Oh, you look about 29." "I am actually 47." This makes him feel really good. While standing at the bus stop, he asks an old woman the same question. She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young,there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I were to put my hand down your pants, I would be able to tell your exact age." As there was no one around, the man thought what the heck, and let her slip her hand down his pants. After a few minutes, the old lady says, "OK, that's fine, I'm done...you are 47." Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?" The old lady replies, "I was behind you in McDonalds." =========================================== One day a man drove his secretary home after she fell quite ill at work. Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily. Later that night, the man and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly, he looked down and spotted a high heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat. Not wanting to be conspicuous, he waited until his wife was looking out her window before he scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car. With a sigh of relief, he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That's when he noticed his wife squirming around in her seat. "Honey," she asked, "have you seen my other shoe?" ============================================ Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! http://www.AFreeDish.com ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Re: Dear Webby, Hello! I need to ask you a question about my Documents settings.I went to click on my Documents this morning and got a box with instructions that it was not recognized and to rt click my documents icon then click properties and check path to target location is correct.So I went there and clicked on the default thinking maybe this would help. It only came up as if I had just started it today.I had tons of pics. and all on there that can never be replaced. Could you tell me where I might be able to retrieve the files? Also last week we installed the latest version of Mcaffee Total Protection.Everything seems to be running by Internet Explorer.Is there some way Internet Explorer 7 could have been installed when we installed the Mcaffee?I've heard bad things about IE7.Thought about putting the old Mcaffee back on here to see if that would help. I don't understand how my documents could just disappear or not work anymore.Never had this problem before. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Love you letters everyday. Thank you. Rita in Texas Dear Rita McAfee has nothing to do with that. It does not move files. It just blocks bad files from coming in. IE7 is bad news, but I don't think it is the cause of this particular problem. Probably the cat batted the mouse around and drug the files elsewhere. Click on START Search and search for *.jpg That will find all the JPG files, and let you drag them back to where you used to have them, or to a more appropriate location. The same trick works with .gif, mp3 and whatever files you are looking for. You will soon find out where they got drug to. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! http://www.Ask4Ink.com ========================================== Deeli's Kudos January 9, 2007 - Louisville, Kentucky - Kids Wish Network An extraordinary little girl from Louisville recently enjoyed an exciting dream come true thanks to Kids Wish Network, an organization in Florida that grants wishes to children with life-threatening illnesses. 11-year-old Hannah, who suffers from a severe seizure disorder, had the time of her life on her special trip to Coffee Creek Ranch in California! Hannah has been diagnosed as having a rare and severe neuromuscular seizure disorder that even her doctors do not fully understand. Hannah's muscles have been severely affected and she is confined mostly to a wheelchair, though she can walk a little with the help of a walker. She is also unable to speak and must use a communication device. Hannah experiences extremely serious seizures and has been in and out of the hospital most of her young life. A huge animal lover, Hannah is especially fond of horses and loves to ride whenever she can - it's also great therapy for her! So it was no surprise when, after Hannah was approved for a wish with Kids Wish Network, that she decided what she wanted most of all was to visit a dude ranch and ride with some real cowboys! Kids Wish Network would like to thank the following for helping to make Hannah's wish come true: Aviation Mobility, Avis, Coffee Creak Ranch, the Hilton Garden Inn Sacramento, Scott Valley Respiratory and Timberlake Home Health Supply.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ http://fire-cat.com/blog/ You can post your questions there and read current and past queries and replies, or email to the Express Empress at empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Soap Pest Spray Mix two tablespoons liquid Ivory soap and one gallon water. Use a spray bottle to apply to your plant's leaves. It will help eliminate aphids, cinch bugs, spider mites, and white flies.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml Subscribe and get access to their new -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Holiday Craft Projects everyday at ThriftyFun! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here: http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/vote.html?pub_code=dailtt ========================================
The telephone rings in the principal's office at a school and the principal said, "Hello, this is Dunn Elementary." The caller said, "Hi. I'm calling to let you know that Little Johnny Johnson won't be able to come to school all next week." "What seems to be the problem with him?" asked the principal. The caller said, "We are all going on a family vacation. I sure hope there is not a problem with that." "I guess that would be fine," said the principal. "May I ask who is calling?" The caller said, "Sure. This is my father." ======================================== To find a real bugler for military funerals, browse to Buglers Pervert Alerts are now at http://posty.net/pervertalerts/ ========================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog You can enter comments in the blog!
======================================== While down south on a visit, the young Yankee made a date with a local lovely. When he called for her, she was clad in a low-cut, tight-fitting, long dress. He remarked, "That's certainly a beautiful dress." "Sho 'nough?" she asked sweetly. "It sure does," he replied. ========================================
Thanks to Sandie for today's Bonus Link: Start Cooking http://startcooking.com/blog/
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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