Dear Webby: ClickBook font sizes 

Good Morning,   !
Friday,  March 2, 2007
Wear something red to show your support for the troops!

Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address.
--- Lane Olinghouse

We live in a Newtonian world of Einsteinian physics ruled
by Frankenstein logic.
--- David Russell


Thanks to Martin for this story:

 Three men were sitting together bragging about how they
had given their new wives duties.

 The first man had married a woman from Connecticut.
He bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do
all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their
house.  He said that it took a couple days but on the third
day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were
all washed and put away.

 The second man had married a woman from Iowa.
He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was
to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking.  He told them
that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next
day it was better.  By the third day, his house was
clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on
the table.

 The third man had married a Georgia girl.  He boasted
that he told her that her duties were to keep the house
cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and
hot meals on the table for every meal.

He said the first day he didn't see anything ...
The second day he didn't see anything, but by the third
day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see
a little out of his left eye.  Enough to fix himself a bite
to eat, load the dishwasher, and telephone a landscaper.


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Laura's husband, Ron, was called into his bank to discuss
his accounts.

"Your finances are in terrible shape," the banker stated.
"Your checking account is overdrawn, your loan is overdue."

"Yes, I know." said Ron. "It's my wife Laura, she is out of

"Why do you allow your wife to spend more money than you
have?" asked the banker.

"Frankly," replied Ron with a deep sigh, "because I'd
rather argue with you than with her."


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Joseph Thomas Mulkerin, 46 of Fayettville, NC Back to his "other" residence FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. Feb 28, 2007 (AP) A man charged with robbing a bank, for the second time since 2005, tried to show police the loot, but discovered he had been robbed, Fayetteville police said. Joseph Thomas Mulkerin, 46, was arrested at a Bragg Boulevard motel Tuesday and charged with common law robbery of $2,179 from the Wachovia branch on Green Street, said police spokeswoman Jamie Smith. He had been released from prison Jan. 11 after serving a sentence for the 2005 robbery of the same bank, in which he pleaded guilty to taking $1,098. Mulkerin went to his motel room to show officers the money, but discovered some missing. Police later charged motel maintenance man David Mims, 49, with breaking into the room and taking some of the cash, Smith said. ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Roberta sending this picture that her daughter Kathleen took of Kodi. Kodi in blue snow. =========================================== Thanks to mary for this story: A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful." Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that before, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're cute." The wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful," it was now "cute." She asked, "What happened to beautiful?" The man replied, "The drugs are wearing off." ===========================================
LEGAL Music 25 FREE downloads Just 33 cents or less after that. Ready for iPod or burning onto CD or playing off your computer. Click on the button or go to
=========================================== Thanks to Martin for this report: The following are real statements found on insurance claim forms. Drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident succinctly. * Coming home, I drove into wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. * I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my head through it. * The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. * The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. * I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment. * In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. * I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision, and I did not see the other car. * The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end. * I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in the ditch by some stray cows. from * The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. * I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. * I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident. * As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the pedestrian. * My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle. * An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. * I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull. * I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the curb when I struck him. * The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran over him. ============================================ Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Toby Re: Clickbook Dear Webby, Have some questions about ClickBook printing. When I print the type size is so small I can hardly read it, and when I go to No Scaling, all the sentence is not printed. I cannot find any information on CB help. I know this will reduce the paper saving option, but it will be printed in a more favorable format. Thanks for your daily read. Keep up the good work. Toby Dear Toby Definitely don't use "No Scaling" ! I normally use Side-by-side, folded. Most e-books are formatted so that they wind up with the same font size as regular, store-bought paperback books when printed with ClickBook. (all the Pro's use it.) It has been quite a few years since I had to rip and reformat an e-book. If it is your own writing, for e-books (and anything that is to be printed front and back 4 pages per sheet), use font size 14. Arial, Tahoma and Verdana are the easiest readable fonts. Right now my printer is just a-rocking on the slightly flexible snack cart, that it sits on, printing out an 88 page e-book on 22 sheets of paper. Quite readable even though I had left the printer in ink-saving and fast print mode. Have FUN! Dear Webby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos February 28, 2007 - BRIGANTINE, N.J. - AP A city worker was awarded $660,000 over claims he was unfairly punished after reporting that fellow employees were shooting pigeons for fun on department grounds. William M. Lakes, 46, who worked for the Department of Public Works, reported the pigeon shooting to the Occupational Safety and Health Administration in 2003. A local radio station later reported that police were investigating the shootings. According to the Press of Atlantic City, Lakes's supervisors then held a meeting and offered amnesty to anyone who came forward with information about the bird shootings. Lakes said after he told supervisors what he knew, he was harassed and shunned by co-workers and later demoted. Lakes said he felt vindicated by the jury's award. "I feel there are other people that work there that have been wronged and are afraid to stand up for themselves," Lakes told the newspaper from his Galloway Township home on Tuesday. Brigantine City Manager James Barber called the jury's decision a "mistake" and said the city will try to have it corrected.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Travel Toiletries Save the travel shampoo and lotions that you get at hotels. If you travel in the future, you will have some travel sized toiletries ready. When you have used up the lotion and shampoo, save the bottles to refill for future trips. Be sure to pack these inside a plastic bag to avoid spills. Considering the current security restrictions, it's better to use the fresh ones you get free at the next hotel. If you are backpacking, I recommend the refillable plastic toothpaste tube style containers. They are soft and unbreakable and can be used for anything from jam to ketchup, and also dish-soap and toiletries, even dry ingredients. They are usually made from a clear or nearly clear plastic. So that you don't mix up similar looking contents and grab the one with laundry soap instead of the one with coffee creamer, you can write on them with a Mark-All. Have FUN Dear Webby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
Thanks to Chuck for this story: I love the outdoors, and because of my passion for hunting and fishing, my family eats a considerable amount of wild game. So much, in fact, that one evening as I set a platter of broiled venison steaks on the dinner table, my ten-year-old daughter looked up and said, "Boy, it sure would be nice if pizzas lived in the woods." __________________________________________
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at You can enter comments in the blog!
======================================== A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter -- have you never seen a kid before?" ========================================
Thanks to Trish for this Bonus Link: Animal Love Story
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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