Dear Webby: Hot Keys and Key Codes 

Good Morning,   !
Tuesday,  March 6, 2007

Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the
whole staircase.
--- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to
borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
--- Ambrose Bierce

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow
man, and I hate people like that!
--- Tom Lehrer


Thanks to RegLee for this:
My Doctor
He is very good.

If you tell him you want a second opinion, he will go out and
come in again.

While he was talking to me his nurse came in and said,
"Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he is invisible."
The doctor said, "Tell him I can't see him."

One patient came in and said, "Doctor, I have a serious
memory problem."
The doctor asked, "When did it start?"
The man replied, "When did what start?"

I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in
my ears.
His advice: "Don't answer it."

 My doctor sure has his share of nut cases.
One said to him, "Doctor, I think I'm a bell."
The doctor gave him some pills and said,
"Here, take these, and if they don't work, give me a ring."

When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, he told
me to stop going to those places.

But doctors can be so frustrating.
You wait a month and a half for an appointment. Then he
says, "I wish you had come to me sooner."


, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
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A little boy didn't go to school one day. The next day when the
teacher asked him why, he said "Our cow was in heat, so I
had to take her to the bull."
"How disgusting," said the teacher, "I'm sure your father
could have done that."
"Ma'am, I don't know what you teachers do, but on the farm
it has to be a bull."


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to three teen burglars in Brandon, Florida So much for stealth. February 27, 2007 - BRANDON, Fla. - ST. Petersburg Times Authorities said a trio trying to open a locked door alerted a sleeping homeowner when one of them rang the doorbell. Homeowner Samuel Sanchez, 35, confronted the burglars about 11:30 a.m. Monday. One of the burglars was still trying to open the door with a pocket knife, Hillsborough County sheriff's deputies said. The men ran, according to the St. Petersburg Times. Deputies arrived moments later and arrested three teen suspects, including one found hiding in a trash bin. They were all charged with attempted burglary. ===========================================
Need some unique March cards in a hurry? There is a great selection at Hicards FEBRUARY
=========================================== Thanks to Deeli for sending this picture: =========================================== Thank to Rubye for this story: Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were Sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to The other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of Aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants. ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Donutn for this story: A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?" "No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class." ============================================ Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Karen Re: Hot Keys and Key Codes Dear Webby, I have just learned that to hold alt key and type 167 gives the sign for degree, ║. Where can I get a list of these shortcuts? Thank you. I enjoy starting my day with you. Karen Dear Karen Just go to my toolbox at and scroll down a ways. I used to have those files and cheat-sheets spread allo over the site, but have now gathered them all together and put links to them into the toolbox. Have FUN! Dear Webby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos March 4, 2007 - Huntington, West Virginia - AP Burglars have struck twice at the Guyandotte United Methodist Church but the second time they may have remembered that commandment, the one that goes, "Thou shalt not steal." Thieves first jimmied the church's door locks Monday night and stole about $5,000 worth of sound and office equipment, church treasurer Rocky Frazier said. Then, they broke back in the next night and returned everything. "They taketh and the Lord giveth back," Frazier said Friday. "It's like there's a higher power at work." Whatever the reason, they had a change of heart, said the Rev. Julia Bolling. "It was either that, or our prayer for grace for them," she said. The sound system, keyboard, computer - "It's all back," she said. The only thing the thieves didn't return was about $22 in change, Frazier said. Even though the equipment was returned and no real damage was done, Huntington Police Lt. Rocky Johnson said the investigation remains open. "It's odd that they brought it back," said Johnson, noting that he's never seen anything like this. "I'm glad they did."
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Discount Movie Theatres Most areas have at least one movie theatre that runs older movies for cheap prices. All you have to do is wait until the movie has been out a for a few months and it will eventually show up at one of these theatres. Ticket prices can be even less than a matinee.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
Suffering from a bad case of the flu, a man phoned his doctor for to get an appointment. When he was told scheduled date of the appointment, he became outraged and bellowed, "Three weeks? The doctor can't see me for three weeks? I could well be dead by then!" Calmly, the receptionist replied, "If so, would you have your wife call to cancel the appointment?" =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double-take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the cat for two dollars. The store owner replies "I'm sorry, but the cat isn't for sale. The collector says "Please, I need a hungry cat around the house to catch mice. I'll pay you twenty dollars for that cat." And the owner says "Sold," and hands over the cat. The collector continues, "Hey, for the twenty bucks I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer. The cat's used to it and it'll save me from having to get a dish." And the owner says, "Sorry buddy, but that's my lucky saucer. So far this week I've sold sixty-eight stray cats, some of them more than once!" ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for this Bonus Link: Package Museum
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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