Humor: How many hard drives 

Good Morning,   !
Thursday,  April 5, 2007
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"Don't spend your precious time asking 'Why isn't the world
a better place?' It will only be time wasted.
The question to ask is 'How can I make it better?'
To that there is an answer."
--- Leo Buscaglia

"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be
continually fearing you will make one."
--- Elbert Hubbard

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At a dinner party, one of the guests, an obnoxiously loud
young man, tried to make clever remarks about everyone and
everything. He was served a piece of meat, he picked it up
with his fork, held it up and smirked: "Is this pig?"

Another guest, sitting opposite, asked quietly:
"Which end of the fork are you referring to?"

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please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
 Thanks for your votes!

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Delighted by the gift she had received, the lady spoke warmly
to the boy, "At church tomorrow, I'll thank your mother for
this lovely pie."

"If you don't mind, Ma'am," the boy suggested nervously,
"would you thank her for two pies?"

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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Gregory Dean Renfroe in Mims, Florida Not Enlightened March 21, 2007 - Mims, Florida - AP Officials said a Mims man could have killed himself by trying to reconnect his power after it had been shut off. A neighbor flagged down a Brevard County Sheriff's deputy Sunday morning after he noticed a man climbing a power pole. The deputy reported seeing Gregory Dean Renfroe standing on the power lines tearing electrical tape from power units and pulling power lines from their original positions. Renfroe told the deputy he was trying to reconnect the power line that Florida Power and Light had disconnected the day before. A report said Renfroe was about two months late on his payments. An FPL technician who responded to the scene said no major damage was done to the power unit. The technician said Renfroe's actions would have been "near fatal" if he had actually connected the wires. Renfroe was charged with a misdemeanor count of criminal mischief. ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Cookie for this picture: Irish Wolfhound =========================================== When my sugar daddy dies," confided Jeni to Debi, "I inherit the lot... it's in his last will and testicles." "You mean testament," chuckled Debi. "No, testicles..." said Jeni, "I've got him by the balls." ===========================================
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=========================================== A man started to snore in his seat at the church. "Please stop your snoring," the usher pleaded. "You are disturbing the others..." "Look, buddy," the man said angrily, "This is my seat and I'll do whatever I want!" "Yes, sir," replied the usher. "But please be considerate... you are keeping everybody else awake!" ============================================ Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! http://www.AFreeDish.com ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Marylin Re: How many hard drives Dear Webby I have two hard drives in my machine, the one it came with, as the master, and the drive from the last machine as a slave. Is there a way to add more drives? Thanks Marylin Dear Marylin If you don't need the CD and DVD or CD and CD Burner drives, you can plug those cables into two more hard drives. If you need more than that, you have to get a USB remote hard drive enclosures and stick additional drives into those. USB hard drive enclosures are $12 - $15. Check pricegraber for a local supplier or your favorite on-line stores. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! http://www.Ask4Ink.com ========================================== Deeli's Kudos March 25, 2007 - Cincinnati, Ohio - AP Customers at some suburban pizza parlors are getting something extra with their pepperoni and mushrooms - wanted posters for parents accused of failing to pay child support. The idea came to Cynthia Brown, executive director of the Butler County Child Enforcement Agency, while she was ordering pizza. "It suddenly dawned on me that most people running from the law don't eat out, they order pizza," said Brown, whose county is north of Cincinnati. Enforcement agencies across the country use a variety of methods to locate support scofflaws and collect past-due payments. Virginia has issued subpoenas to cellular phone companies seeking addresses and phone numbers. California's Kern County seizes and auctions parents' vehicles, with proceeds going to the children, said Kay Cullen, a spokeswoman for the National Child Support Enforcement Association.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ http://fire-cat.com/blog/ You can email to the Express Empress at 4empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Dog Food Scoop Use a plastic milk jug with a handle to create a scoop for dog food. Cut off the jug leaving handle intact into a scoop shape. Make sure to clean it well. The large scoop works great for feeding big dogs! One scoop usually will do the trick. By Joyce
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here: http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/vote.html?pub_code=dailtt ========================================
Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time." I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson. The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa. =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
======================================== A sixth grade teacher asked her class, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" No one answered for a long time until Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents and they will tell the principal and you will get fired!" The teacher ignored her and asked again, "Which part of the body increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?" Finally, Geoffrey stood up and said that the part of the body that increases 10 times its size when stimulated Is the pupil of the eye. "Very good." The teacher said, then turned to Mary and said, "As for you young lady, I have 3 things to say: #1 you have a dirty mind, #2 you didn't read your homework, and #3 one day you will be very disappointed!" ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for this Bonus Link: Perrin Photo Gallery http://snipurl.com/1f6el
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby If the greeting on top does NOT have your first name, or at least your favorite nickname, please tell me. I can correct that in two seconds and greet you properly from then on. If you want to give a gift subscription to a friend, but don't have time to subscribe her or him, just hit REPLY and tell me. I will gladly enter them for you. To reply to me personally, just hit REPLY. or write to humor@webby.com If you do not normally get the Humor Letter every day, and this was the first time, then a friend sent you a one time sample or maybe even gave you a gift subscription. If you like the Humor Letter, then you can subscribe at http://webby.com/humor/sub2.html You can also UNsubscribe there. If you don't want to receive the Webby Humor Letter, please unsubscribe by clicking the link below: You are currently subscribed with this address: Unsubscribe from the regular HTML version: UNSUBSCRIBE Unsubscribe from the LARGE FONT HTML version UNSUBSCRIBE Unsubscribe from the plain text version: UNSUBSCRIBE Give a free gift subscription to a friend!





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