Dear Webby: Cookies 

Good Morning,   !
Sunday,  April 8, 2007
Happy Easter!

It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things
that people might remember.
--- Eugene McCarthy


A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but
he felt unwilling to spend much money.
"How much do they run?" he asked the clerk.

"That depends," said the salesman.
"They run from $2.00 to $2,000."

"Let's see the $2.00 model," he said.

The clerk put the device around the man's neck.
"You just stick this button in your ear and run this little
string down to your pocket," he instructed.

"How does it work?" the customer asked.

"For $2.00 it doesn't work," the salesman replied.
"But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder...!"


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Two drunks were in a tavern sitting at the bar and staring
into their drinks. One got a curious look on his face and
asked, "Hey, Pete! Have you ever seen an ice cube with a
hole in it before?"
"Yep. I been married to one for fifteen years...."


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to William Hart, 35, from Montgomery County, near Houston, Texas April 7, 2007 - Montgomery County, Texas - Ananova US coastguards had to use a helicopter to rescue a man who climbed a 60 ft pine tree to retrieve his pet parrot, and was too chicken to climb back down. William Hart, 35, from Montgomery County, near Houston, Texas, followed his $2,000 white cockatoo Geronimo after it escaped its cage. After he got scared, about 30 Sheriff's deputies and firefighters converged on the tree but the ground was too wet to get a ladder near the tree. Houston Police Department's water rescue team then tried to reach Mr Hart with a rope, but it was not long enough. As daylight began to fade, the decision was made to call in the coastguard from Galveston, reports the Houston Chronicle. Before the helicopter finally retrieved him, Mr Hart could be seen standing on a branch holding the bird under his shirt and smoking a cigarette. "In my 18 years as a firefighter, I've never seen anything like this," Porter Fire Chief Jody Binnion said. Apart from a few scratches and a bite on his finger where the frightened bird nipped him, Mr Hart was unscathed and relieved to be back on solid ground. Cradling the shaking bird in his arms, he said he was surprised by all the fuss, but had no regrets: "He's my baby. I'd do it again." His 14-year-old daughter had forgotten to put the latch back on Geronimo's cage after feeding him and the bird had flown out the bedroom window. ===========================================
Need some unique March cards in a hurry? There is a great selection at Hicards MARCH
=========================================== Thanks to my dad for these pictures: So as not to overload your mail box, here is a link to a side view of that flower: Side 1064 If you want larger pictures of these, tell me what size you want. I prepared them in these sizes: 640, 800, 1064, 1200, 1600, 2000 and 2500. They will look the sharpest if you use the one with the same resolution as your monitor is set for. =========================================== I can't say I've ever gotten a shave from a barber, but I've seen others who have. I was in a shop once, and an obviously new barber nicked a customer several times while giving him a shave. The new man, in an effort to smooth things over asked solicitously, "Do you want your head wrapped in a hot towel?" "No thanks." said the customer. "I'll carry it home under my arm." ===========================================
LEGAL Music 25 FREE downloads Just 33 cents or less after that. Ready for iPod or burning onto CD or playing off your computer. Click on the button or go to
=========================================== A woman was waiting at an airport one night, With several long hours before her flight. She hunted for a book in the airport shops. Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop. She was engrossed in her book but happened to see, That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could be, Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between, Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene. So she munched the cookies and watched the clock, As the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock. She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by, Thinking, "If I wasn't so nice, I would blacken his eye." With each cookie she took, he took one too, When only one was left, she wondered what he would do. With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh, He took the last cookie and broke it in half. He offered her half, as he ate the other, She snatched it from him and thought... ooh,brother. This guy has some nerve and he's also rude, Why he didn't even show any gratitude! She had never known when she had been so galled, And sighed with relief when her flight was called. She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate, Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate. She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat, Then she sought her book, which was almost complete. As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise, There was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes. If mine are here, she moaned in despair, The others were his, and he tried to share. Too late to apologize, she realized with grief, That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief. ============================================ Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Elva Re: Cookies Why are alot of sites insisting that I allow cookies? I am being blocked from sites, even though I paid for access, and others, that are supposedly free, and all I get is rude error messages. I don't want my private information spread by cookies. Is there a way around that? Elva Dear Elva Cookies don't carry private information. They may have, ten years ago, but nowadays, cookies are a safe way to manage the Internet. For example, if you buy access to a library site, it plants a cookie with your membership number and possibly your chosen member name, and maybe even with the membership number of the person who referred you to the library. When you go to the library, it checks your library cookie, and when it is there, it allows you access to the library and gives a brownie point to the person who referred you. That's all. It's just like a library card. And just like without your library card, you won't get access without your cookie. Other cookies, like the ones planted by your bank or telephone company, provide extra security and streamline your access. Instead of having to go through a dozen menus each time you go in there to manage your account or pay bills, the cookie gets you straight to the account that you worked on last. The cookie does not carry your password or any info about what is in your accounts, just the routing information that you need AFTER you have put in your password. Cookies are also used to track referrers. Businesses spend big money to get customers. Let's say, for example, you click on the Breastcancer link, and from there go to the garden cherubs with solar lights. A cookie will tell the garden cherub site that the breast cancer site referred you. For every 1000 referrals they pay the breastcancer site 65 cents or whatever amount they agreed on. Eventually that amounts to the cost of a mammogram. HOWEVER, if you have cookies disabled, then you don't count, and they don't have to pay the breastcancer site. The cookie that the breastcancer site would have planted, would not have had any private information about you. It simply would have told the garden gnome site that "this visitor was referred by the breastcancer site". (By the way, I don't plant cookies and the breastcancer site does not have to pay me. I just carry the ad as a public service.) Most cookies expire and disappear in a day. But while they are carried in your browser, you can read them. You will see that they do not carry any personal information about you. Forget the rumors about cookies spread by some misinformed AOLers ten years ago, that are still being forwarded, and allow cookies. If you use CrapCleaner, take the checkmark off the Cookies. They take very little space and won't slow you down. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos April 7, 2007 - Lasi, Romania - Ananova A 105-year-old Romanian has made his first ever trip to the doctors after eating a jar of gherkins past their sell-by-date. Tudorica Anghel, from Iasi, took himself to St Spiridon Hospital telling doctors he'd had pains for two days and was worried it might be something serious. But doctors who performed a full check-up on him said he was very healthy for his age, and that he was probably suffering from indigestion. When they tried to access his records they found he had never been to a doctor in his life. Doctor Diana Cimpoiescu, who treated Mr Anghel, said: "This was the first time in his life that he had come to a hospital. "We did a full examination of him and apart from a bit of weak hearing he has nothing at all wrong with him. He is amazingly healthy for a man of his age."
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Shop at Bakery Outlets Buy bread, hamburger buns, hot dog buns, and other baked goods at a bakery outlet store. In my area, I can save 50% over grocery store prices. Go twice a month, and freeze the loaves. Also, if you have chickens, you can get feed bread for next to nothing. By Marlene
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
The pastor shocked the congregation when he announced that he was resigning from the church and moving to a drier climate. After the service, a very distraught lady came to the pastor with tears in her eyes, "Oh, Pastor Bob, we are going to miss you so much. We don't want you to leave!" The kindhearted pastor patted her hand and said "Now, now, Carolyn, don't carry on. The pastor who takes my place might be even better than me". "Yeah", she said, with a tone of disappointment in her voice, "That's what they said the last time too . . . " =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago: "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here years ago," he said. "Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. "But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we ll have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" An elderly gentleman in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake." ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for this Bonus Link: Bonsai Gallery
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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