Dear Webby: Gene Modified 

Good Morning,   !
Saturday,  April 28, 2007

 "To get rich, never risk your health. For it is the truth that
health is the wealth of wealth."
 Richard Baker


"How was your blind date?" a college student
asked her 21 year old roommate.

"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed
up in his 1932 Rolls Royce."

"Wow! That's a very expensive classic car. What's so
bad about that?"

"He is the original owner."


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A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her
baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted
the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I
noticed that there were several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to police in Hull, East Yorkshire, England Hysterical Vegetables protected by dumb cops April 25, 2007 - East Yorkshire, UK - Ananova A huge operation aimed at sabotaging the Government's GM potato trial backfired - when the 250 protesters got the wrong field. They swooped on the 16-hectare site, outside Hull, armed with shovels and planted thousands of organic potatoes, reports the Guardian. Activists from apologised to farmer David Buckton after it emerged that they wrongly identified his land as the site of the GM trial. The field they planted was sown with beans. Mr Buckton, 54, said the mix-up was the strangest event to have befallen his family in four generations of farming. He said the protesters were accompanied by two police officers on horseback. "I told the police officers that it was a bean field but they said the protest seemed peaceful so we'd better let them get on with it. The beans are just peeping through. The protesters should have been able to see that," he said. ----------------------------------- Not much point in suing the turnip brained idiots, but I hope the farmer sues the cops for protecting the hysterical vegetables, who ruined his field! Plants have been modified since the stone age. It makes no difference, whether it is done by selecting natural mutations, or hybrids or gene modification. For example, by the mid 1400's the Aymara Indians in Peru had developed more than two hundred varieties of potatos, that grew at elevations greater than 10,000 feet! It is the lack of modifying that is dangerous! Look at the Irish potato famine, that decimated the population of Ireland so badly that it still has not recovered today. Because of strict standardizing and not allowing natural mutations to become new fashions, there was no variety, which could cope with three years of "Global Warming" and wet years, which favored a blight fungus more than the Standard Irish Potato. Over a Million people died of hunger because of that, and over two Million emigrated. I realize that some gene modification efforts, like the Roundup resistant grains from Monsanto, were a bit boneheaded and pure ammunition for the hysterical sheep, who badmouth anything, that is from a major American company, and were used by Europe and Russia, with a lot of help from The Enemy Times, to shift grain sales away from the US and to European farmers. However, there have been quite a few very benficial wheat modifications, that very few people know about. If you are interested, have a look at Science Daily That is just one example. When some idiots get hysterical against all plant modifications, and sabotage testing of new varieties, then in my opinion they were obviously let out of the caves prematurely, and should be returned promptly. Dear Webby ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Dianne for this picture: =========================================== At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yeth, they uthed to be," remorsed the patient. ===========================================
LEGAL Music 25 FREE downloads Just 33 cents or less after that. Ready for iPod or burning onto CD or playing off your computer. Click on the button or go to
=========================================== Teacher: If you had $1.00 and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have. : "I would have $1.00!" Teacher: "You don't know your arithmetic." : "You don't know my father!" =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Fast Eddie Re: Which computer is faster? Hi Mr Webby; I am in search of another computer and saw one over on "Tigerdirect" it is....... eMachines T3516 ----- $249.00 Refurbished Intel Desktop PC Blah, blah, blah.... a page full of hype and specs And I have one here at home (below!) I just wanted to know which one is faster? (in speed!) Reason why is because I want to give one of these to my daughter and I would like something faster! Gateway GM4019E AMD Athlon 64 3500+ DVDRW Media Center Blah, blah, blah.... two pages full of hype and specs Fast Eddie Dear Fast Eddie Whichever machine has fewer programs and utilities, will be the faster one. The hardware makes little difference, since the slowest part is the chair-to-keyboard interface. Tech support from Gateway doesn't have quite as bad a reputation as Compac/HP, so, if I had to choose between those two machines, I would pick the Gateway. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos April 20, 2007 - Knoxville, Tennessee - AP A Tennessee teenager says he's learned his lesson about drugs. The 14-year-old boy's father made him stand outside his Knoxville middle school wearing a sign reading, "I abused and sold drugs." The father told a Knoxville TV station that the nation's "extreme drug problem" calls for "extreme measures" by parents. He said he found about his son's involvement with marijuana and OxyContin by reading his MySpace page. The sign-carrying punishment ended when the school's dopy principal came out and asked the father to call it off. Seems he was afraid somebody would make him stand there with a placard too. The boy said it was embarrassing, but added that he's learned that "drugs are for losers."
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Opening Jars Having trouble opening a jar? A latex dishwashing glove will help you grip the lid. If it is still stubborn, tap the lid lightly with the back of a butter knife. This will break the seal, but be careful not to break the glass jar. You can also use a pair of strap wrenches: Use one on the lid and the other one, upside down, on the neck of the jar, close to the lid. The rubber strap adjusts to any size jar or plumbing pipe. The very first time you use a strap wrench, it may be a bit puzzling for a moment, because the concept is much simpler than you expect. Put one on the neck of the jar and try turning it while holding the jar. It will slide in one direction and grab in the other. Flip the strap wrench so that it grabs the neck when you turn the handle in a clockwise direction. Then put the other strapwrench onto the lid upside down compared to the first strapwrench, so that it grabs when you turn it counter-clockwise. When you turn it counter-clockwise while holding the other strapwrench steady, the lid unscrews without much effort at all. Strapwrenches usually cost between 99 cents and $1.99 and they are a much appreciated gift for elder relatives, especially if they have arthritis. Have FUN! DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
Thanks to Simone for this confession: My sex life is so bad ... that when I called one of those phone sex lines, a voice came on and said, "Not tonight. I have an earache." =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== One evening while I was preparing dinner, my daughter came into the kitchen asking for homework help on her vocabulary words. "Mom," she asked, "what's a quarter horse?" As I thought of a simple explanation, my five-year-old son piped up, "I know! It's the one they have in front of the grocery store." ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for this Bonus Link: Mediterranean Coastline, prehistoric
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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