Dear Webby: Links in mail 

Good Morning,   !
Tuesday,  May 8, 2007

"Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that
damage morale, and undermine the military, are saboteurs
and should be arrested, exiled or hanged."
--- President Abraham Lincoln

Why not all three? Iraq has good gallows technology
and plenty of gallows.


One ugly frog

An older lady was somewhat lonely, and decided that she
needed a pet to keep sorry."
So off to the pet shop she went.

Forlornly, she searched. Nothing seemed to catch her
interest, except this
one ugly frog. As she walked by the barrel he was in, he
looked up and
winked at her! He whispered, "I'm lonely too, buy me and you
won't be sorry."

The old lady figured, what the heck, as she hadn't found
anything else.
So, she bought the frog and went to her car.

Driving down the road the frog whispered to her, "Kiss me,
you won't be sorry."
So, the old lady figured what the heck, and kissed
the frog.
Immediately the frog turned into an absolutely gorgeous,
sexy, handsome, young prince.

Then the prince kissed her back, and you know what the old
lady turned into?

Come on, guess...

The first motel she could find


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An American tourist refused to be too greatly impressed with
the masterpieces at the Louvre.

"We've got plenty of priceless canvasses in the United States
too," he declared.

"I know," said the guide. "Rembrandt painted seven hundred
pictures in his lifetime, and America has over ten thousand
of them."


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Judge Roy Pearson, Washington, DC Nuttiest Judge in history May 2, 2007 - Washington D.C. - ABC News Is somebody getting taken to the cleaners? A $10 dry cleaning bill for a pair of trousers has ballooned into a $67 million civil lawsuit. Plaintiff Roy Pearson, a judge in Washington, D.C., says in court papers that he's been through the wringer over a lost pair of prized pants he wanted to wear on his first day on the bench. He says in court papers that he has endured "mental suffering, inconvenience and discomfort." He says he was unable to wear that favorite suit on his first day of work. He's suing for 10 years of weekend car rentals so he can transport his dry cleaning to another store. Pearson did not return numerous calls from ABC News for comment. "People in America are now scared of each other," legal expert Philip Howard told ABC News' Law & Justice Unit. "That's why teachers won't put an arm around a crying child, and doctors order unnecessary tests, and ministers won't meet with parishioners. It's a distrust of justice and it's changing our culture." The civil trial, set for June, has the scope of a John Grisham courtroom thriller and the societal importance of a traffic ticket. Pearson plans to call 63 witnesses. Defending themselves against the suit -- for two years running -- are Korean immigrants Jin and Soo Chung and their son, who own Custom Cleaners and two other dry cleaning shops in the Fort Lincoln section of Washington, D.C. For $67 million Pearson could buy 84,115 new pairs of pants at the $800 value he placed on the missing trousers in court documents, or about 3.35 Million of the $20 pants usually worn under justice's robes. Seems to me that it was rather irresponsible to appoint Pearson to the bench instead of to the funny farm. ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Walter, the Stonecarver for this picture from today's bonus link site. Caution, there are 119 pages on that link! =========================================== It was mealtime during a flight on a small airline in the Northwest. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked the man seated in front of me. "What are my choices?" he asked. "Yes or no," she replied. ===========================================
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=========================================== I was browsing in a souvenir shop when the man next to me struck up a conversation. Just as he was telling me that his wife was getting carried away with her shopping, a brief power shortage caused the lights to flicker overhead. "Ah," he sighed that must he her checking out now." =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ann Re: Mailing links Dear Webby Can you tell how to send links that I receive without having to retype the address? If I forward the link it doesn't work and if I copy and paste the link still doesn't work. I have tried to save it but that won't work either? Help.....Ann Dear Ann I have no idea what mail program you use. In Eudora I simply type the URL, like for example: and it automatically turns into a link. I can also type a site title like Anns pages and then click on the link icon and put the URL into the little input field that pops up. Then it looks like this Ann's Pages The link icon looks like a chain with 3 chain links. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos May 4, 2007 - Madaba, Jordon - AP A cat in Madaba, Jordan has taken her maternal instincts to another level. The cat has allowed a group of newborn chicks to live with her and her four kittens in a cardboard box. It appears the cat has even begun to treat the chicks as her own offspring, carefully carrying them in her jaws when they stray too far from the 'nest'. Madaba is around 19 miles south of Amman, Jordan.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Ice Cream Cone Tip To prevent ice cream from dripping through the bottom of a classic triangular cone, put a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a waffle or sugar cone. This acts as a stopper and is a delicious bonus. A raisin works too.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
A man is laying on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son Morris, the surgeon. The father says, "Son, think of it this way ... If anything happens to me, your mother is coming to live with you." =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== Thanks to Erik for this story: Some time back, my cousin, Steve moved to a new apartment. Steve had a business commitment out of town that weekend and so I and my three brothers all chipped in to help his wife move the furniture. The new apartment was on the third floor. We hauled everything up the three flights of stairs and around the tight corner through the kitchen put them where they belonged. Finally, we came to the large couch. After hauling it up three flights to the top of the stairs, we discovered it would not go around the corner through the kitchen. We took it back out into the hall and turned it and tried again. It still wouldn't fit. Finally all of us boosted the couch from the back of the truck up the side of the building. From the third floor, we passed the couch up and over the railing of the tiny balcony and in through the sliding doors into the living room. We all cool- lapsed on the couch to catch our breath and made a pact that we would not tell Steve how we got the couch into the apart- ment. "The next time he moves," we conspired, "he will have to figure out how to get the couch out of there on his own. It will be our little secret. He will have to take a saw to it!" As luck would have it, Steve found a place he liked better about three months later. It really was a busy weekend at work, and none of us were available to help move. We waited eagerly to hear from Steve but there was nothing. Finally, after several days of waiting, I asked Steve, "So, did you get everything moved OK?" "Sure," he replied. "Did you run into any problems?" "No." "Now, wait a minute, we had to drag the couch up the outside of the building and haul it over the railing! How did you get it out of the living room? It didn't fit through the kitchen!" Steve looked at me with total disbelief and said "Geez, you idiots, the legs unscrew!" ======================================== I will give this link a permanent spot in the side menu. ======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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