Humor: No Injuries 

Good Morning,   !
Friday,  May 11, 2007
Wear something red today to show your support of the troops!

You don't stop laughing because you grow old.
You grow old because you stop laughing.
--- Michael Pritchard

Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the
only animal that is struck with the difference between what
things are and what they ought to be.
--- William Hazlitt


Dear Webby,

Thanks for the humor newsletter.
I have an addition for today's "Advice to aspiring newsletter writers."

Eschew obfuscation.


, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
 Thanks for your votes!


Two dogs were walking down the street.  The one dog says to
the other, "Wait here a minute, I'll be right back." He walks
across the street and sniffs this fire hydrant for about a
minute, then walks back across the street.

The other dog says, "What was that about?"

The dog first dog says, "I was just checking my p-mail."


Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter
=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Elizabeth Logan, 41 of Hillsboro, oregon Caught! May 2, 2007 - Hillsboro, Oregon - AP A Hillsboro mother found her daughter's missing winter coat on eBay, and now a teacher at the girl's elementary school faces charges of theft and computer crimes. Elizabeth Logan, 41,is on PAID administrative leave from Jackson Elementary. She denies stealing the coat, saying she got it from a lost-and-found. The mother searched the school's lost and found for the coat, then decided to turn to eBay for a replacement. After finding a seemingly identical coat, she noticed that the seller was from Hillsboro. The mother alerted another bidder that the coat might be stolen, and the other bidder relayed the information to Logan, the seller. Skinner said Logan asked the other bidder to outbid the girl's mother. Logan's salary is nearly $69,000 a year, and she has taught 20 years at two elementary schools. She is to appear in court Friday. ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Sandie for sending this picture of her canna =========================================== Thanks to Dora for this story: One evening, two girlfriends and I went to a nightclub, only to find the place packed with young people. At 40+, we felt old, but before we could make a dignified exit, a tall, handsome man approached us. "Perhaps we were being a little hasty in leaving," I thought. Then with a big smile, the man extended his hand to one of my friends and said, "Hello. Remember me? You taught me in third grade." ===========================================
LEGAL Music 25 FREE downloads Just 33 cents or less after that. Ready for iPod or burning onto CD or playing off your computer. Click on the button or go to
=========================================== A van carrying a dozen movie stuntmen on the way to a film location in the mountains of Alberta spun out of control on the icy road, crashed through a guard-rail, rolled down a 1200-foot embankment, landed on it's roof, and burst into flames. There were no injuries. =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Darlene Re: SecurityCenter.FirewallDisableNotify Good Morning, DearWebby This is in reply to Don and removing the Firewall Disable notify from his Spybot. I had the same problem all the time and finally I right clicked on it when it appeared in the remove panel and then clicked on DO NOT CHECK FOR THIS and it stopped coming up all the time. Have a super day and thanks again for the great humour letter Darlene Dear Darlene yes, that certainly works, and with that particular item is quite safe to use. You can also tell it not to worry about navigational cookies for your bank, telephone company Amazon, and other legitimate places. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos May 7, 2007 - Attalla, Alabama - AP Shoppers entering the Wal-Mart Supercenter in Attalla got a reminder not to try anything funny: Two shoplifters stood outside with signs reading "I am a thief, I stole from Wal-Mart." Attalla City Judge Kenneth Robertson Jr. ordered the two people to wear the signs for four hours each during two successive Saturdays. "The only comments we've heard so far have been positive," said store manager Neil Hawkins. "Most of them thought it was a good thing." One of the shoplifters, Lisa King Fithian, 46, wore the sign from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Another convicted shoplifter was at the store from 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. Hawkins noted how embarrassing it would be for the public to see someone who got caught shoplifting. "Maybe they'll think twice about doing it," he said.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Potato Storage To keep potatoes from budding, place a small apple in the bag with the potatoes. You should also store them in a dark, cool location and keep them away from onions, to avoid moldy potatoes and onions.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
A driver who was bringing a meticulously prepared and pre-dented bus to a location in New York City for an on-location movie shoot, was too early and drove to a nearby restaurant to wait there. Just to be funny, he carefully lined up the artificial dent at the front with a light pole. When he came back out of the restaurant, there were eight passengers in the bus, moaning and groaning about whiplash and talking to their lawyers on their cellphones. =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== Thanks, Webby. As usual, you were more helpful than Microsoft. I am almost tempted to go out and buy a Mac. Carol Hi Webby And I can thoroughly understand that removing Outlook Express is better than just setting the default to a better email program. It is a constant pain to clean all these machines just because of the attachments, so many people are too dumb to not open. Always great to see the Humor letter come in. Have a truly wonderful day. Jerome ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link:: Solar System
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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