Dear Webby: Tech Haiku 

Good Morning,   !
Saturday,  May 19, 2007

The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but
the habits he has acquired during the first half.
--- Fyodor Dostoevsky

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to
fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an
artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.
--- Jay Leno


From Shirley:

Sensational warnings spawned south of the border
WASHINGTON (AP) - An odd-looking Canadian quarter with a
bright red flower was the culprit behind a false espionage
warning from the U.S. Defense Department about mysterious
coins with radio frequency transmitters, The Associated Press
has learned.

The harmless ''poppy quarter'' was so unfamiliar to suspicious
U.S. army contractors travelling in Canada that they filed
confidential espionage accounts about them. The worried
contractors described the coins as ''filled with something
man-made that looked like nano-technology,'' according to
once-classified U.S. government reports and e-mails
obtained by the AP.

The silver-coloured 25-cent piece features the red image of a
poppy, Canada's flower of remembrance and support for the
troops, inlaid over a maple leaf..


Dear Shirley
We don't just have Support The Troops quarters with the red
poppy, we also have Breast Cancer Quarters with the pink
ribbon. This one is a bit worn, but the only one I had in my
wallet today.

Ask your friends to click on the pretty link to the Breast
Cancer Site in the left side menu! Give them a free gift
subscription to the Humor Letter to make sure they click.

On May 10, 2007, you and others who clicked on the breast
cancer site button funded 12.1 mammograms for women who
could not afford one. That is awesome !

Have FUN!


, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
 Thanks for your votes!


A little boy returning home from his first day at school said to
his mother, "Mom, what's sex?"

His mother, who believed in all the most modern educational
theories, gave him a detailed explanation, covering all aspects
of the tricky subject.

When she had finished, the little lad produced an enrollment
form  which he had brought home from school and said, "Yes,
but how am I going to get all that into this one little square?"


Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter
=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to York Heiden, 36, of Stevens Point, Wisconsin Too dumb to own a car May 5, 2007 - Stevens Point, Wisconsin AP A Stevens Point man thought he was lucky to recover his car after it was stolen - until it was stolen again later that day. York Heiden's pearl-colored 1990 Audi Quattro was stolen from a grocery store parking lot April 27 while his wife was running errands. The keys had been left in it. Heiden, 36, who owns a automotive repair shop, quickly called some friends and the car was found nearby, without keys. He said he had a friend disable the car's ignition by removing a coil wire while he left it to pick up a spare key. When he returned, the car was gone. He had forgotten, he said, that that model Audi had a two-coil system and could be driven with just one. He also forgot that the car thief still had the original set of keys, and that ONE fuse taken out, would have disabled the entire ignition system. ===========================================
We have a date for you!
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=========================================== Thanks to Joann for sending this picture of her Miltonia Orchid =========================================== Once you reach mid-level management, promotions are hard to come by at the state highway dept. I congratulated one woman on her recent upgrade and asked if she would mind telling me how she pulled it off. She smiled and said, "Well, sure. But I doubt very much if it'll do you any good." ===========================================
LEGAL Music 25 FREE downloads Just 33 cents or less after that. Ready for iPod or burning onto CD or playing off your computer. Click on the button or go to
=========================================== A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police. "For example," he said, "when I entered my chambers today, I was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left in on my nightstand in my bedroom." When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him "Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn't sending three men to pick it up for you a bit extreme?" "What?" said the judge, "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?" "I gave it to the first one," said the wife, "he knew exactly where it was." =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Linda Re: Laptop for College Dear Webby Thanks for the good work - keep us smiling :) Is there any way to search the archives of your newsletters? I remember a comment not too long ago about the Vista. I want to look up what was said as I am in the market for a new laptop. As a graduation gift I want to get my son a laptop to take to college with him and am looking at getting a Dell. Any suggestions on which model series to look at? Besides using the computer for internet research and writing papers, the main thing my son loves to do is use the computer/cd drive to play his music. Thanks, Linda Dear Linda ----------------------------------- Last month's ThinkGeek Techie Haiku Winner is: Dave, from Mont Vernon, New Hampshire! Here is the winning Haiku: two words never heard in polite conversation Microsoft Vista ---------------------------------- The writers at "Think Geek" are not paid shills like the writers at computer magazines, that have hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of Vista ads every month. The "Think Geek" people are the techies and programmers, who are free to say what they feel. None of them will lower their standards and use Vista. Do you know what that means? It means there is no grass roots support of friendly neighborhood geeks and techies who can help you out with Vista. If you got conned into Vista, then YOU got a problem. They don't. DELL does have XP laptops again, and so do most other brands too. For college and anything work related, the cheapest laptop will be more than good enough, especially if it has XP and you upgrade the RAM to 1 GB. If game playing is a priority, then a more expensive model would make a difference. Games are much more demanding than work or research. However, even there, the biggest consideration seems to be the bragging about specs on the school bus, not actual performance. Don't waste money on fancy speakers. He probably already has a boom box with an AUX input to plug in stuff like a line from a record player or whatever. If he doesn't, they are cheap at pawn shops and second hand stores. A boom box has a great amplifier and puts out much better sound than any of those overpriced computer squeakers. He can plug in a cable from the laptop to the boombox and use it instead of squeakers. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos May 8, 2007 - Cary, North Carolina - The News & Observer Thanks to new behavioral therapy at a Duke University Medical Center clinic, 9-year-old Rick Shocket is doing what seemed impossible for him a year ago: gain control over Tourette's syndrome, a brain disorder that causes repetitive movements and sounds. The illness made it difficult for him to cross a room. A myriad of tics he's battled include sniffs, coughs, yips, fidgets and twitches. Rick felt compelled to do a deep knee bend with nearly every step, leaving him exhausted by the end of the day. Since starting behavioral therapy at Duke last year, he can recognize the warning signs that precede the tics, then resist the urge to perform them. The therapy also has enabled him to stop many of the prescription medications he took. The therapy goes against years of thought on Tourette's Syndrome, which has held that the tics are involuntary and that it's best for those with the illness to simply ignore them. The habit-reversal training offered at Duke teaches the exact opposite, instructing patients to stay hyper-aware of tics so they can anticipate and suppress them. ''He hasn't squatted since September,'' said Clare Shocket, who says she would have tried behavioral therapy before drugs if she had known it was an option. ''I've tried to figure out why more people don't rush out and do this.''
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Pressing Rice Krispy Treats Love Rice Krispy Treats but hate the mess? Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispies treats in the pan and the marshmallow won't stick to your fingers. Butter or oil rubbed on your fingers can also be used.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for this literary masterpiece: (don't think of it as blasphemy, but as literary art) CARSTIANITY "Haul a Yugo. Haul a Yugo." Gearly beloved, we are Blazered here in the name of our Four-door, who art in Half-ton. I'm speaking of our lord and Mazda, Jeep-sus Chrysler. He is the Alfa and the Romeo. He was born in a Ranger, he was Tempo'd by the DeVille, and he Daihatsu'd for your Sentras. He said, "Dodge not, that ye not be Dodged. Thou shalt not Corvette thy neighbor's Whitewall, but turn the other Cherokee. If ye have Fiat, ye can move Montecarlos. He ain't Chevy, he's my Beretta." He ate the Last Supra, and he climbed the mount of Cavalier, where they Cruise-controlled him on the Motocross. But God, in his Infiniti Mercedes, did Rolls away the Stanza. Let us Prelude: Sayeth the prophet Isuzu, in the Dusenburg Bible, In the 23rd Saab, "The Ford is my Chauffeur. I shall not Walk. He Lexus me in the paths of Right-turn-signals. Yea, though I walk through the Valet of the Shadow of Dart, I shall Fiero no Eagle. Subaru Goodwrench and Mercury shall Volvo me Audi Daytonas of my life, and I shall Dwellmeter house of Delorean, Four-cylinder." Gloria, In Ex-Celica Geo! GM =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== A woman suspects her husband is cheating on her. One day, she dials her home and a strange woman answers. The woman says, " Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don't have a maid," said the woman. The maid says, "I was hired this morning by the man of the house." The woman says, "Well, this is his wife. Is he there?" The maid replied, "He is upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I figured was his wife." The woman is fuming. she says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" The maid says, "What will I have to do?" The woman tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the jerk and the witch he's with." The maid puts the phone down; the woman hears footsteps and the gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?" The woman says, "Throw them in the swimming pool." Puzzled, the maid answers, "But there's no pool here." A long pause and the woman says, "Is this 555-4821?" ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link:: Ted
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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