Dear Webby: Program Launcher 

Good Morning,   !
Friday,  May 18, 2007
Wear something red today to show your support of the troops!

I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will
teach me anything. So if I'm going to learn,
I must do it by listening.
--- Larry King


A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went
to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her

"I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I
didn't catch a thing!"

"Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish
away," his mother said.

The boy said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait."


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Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas,"
Little Johnny said to his Uncle Rodney, the first time
he saw him after the holidays. "It's the best Christmas
present I ever got."

"That's great," said his Uncle Rodney. "Do you know
how to play it?"

"Oh, I don't play it," Little Johnny said. "My mom
gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the
day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to
play it at night.


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Theresa M. Stanley-Morgan, 41 of Newport Richey, Florida Sleazy Crook May 7, 2007 - Newport Richey, Florida - AP Investigators said an 83-year-old woman was robbed of her credit card after another woman gave her crack to smoke. Pasco County sheriff's investigators are accusing accused 41-year-old Theresa M. Stanley-Morgan of getting the elderly woman to smoke crack so she could run up at least $3,200 in charges. The sheriff's office said Stanley-Morgan admitted to police that she used Shirley Hathaway's name, birth date and Social Security number to open a credit card account after having her smoke a lit crack pipe. She allegedly told police she knew Hathaway had dementia and memory loss and would not know about the credit card. Stanley-Morgan was being held at the Pasco County jail on charges of criminal use of personal identification, use of another person's ID without permission and retail theft. ===========================================
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=========================================== =========================================== David bought his wife a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, his friend Bill asked how she was doing with it. "Oh," said David, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet." "How come?" Bill asked. "Well," he answered, "because with a clarinet, she can't sing." ===========================================
LEGAL Music 25 FREE downloads Just 33 cents or less after that. Ready for iPod or burning onto CD or playing off your computer. Click on the button or go to
=========================================== A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go into a restaurant in London. The waiter says, "Excuse me, but if you wanted the steak you might not get one as there is a shortage." The Texan said, "What's a shortage?" The Russian said, "What's a steak...?" The New Yorker said, "What's excuse me....?" =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Leonard Re: Vist Launcher Dear Webby We had Vista at work, for about a week, until they gave us two days off while all machines were formatted and had XP installed on them again. Luckily we had good back-ups, otherwise it would have taken weeks. The only part about Vista that seems to have been an improvement over XP and that actually worked, was the command line program launcher. You briefly mentioned an XP version of that a couple of months ago, but I can't find that Humor letter any more. Can you send that link again? Thanks Leonard Dear Leonard The XP version of that launcher is Launchy from It works great, and there are tons of different skins available, with new ones being added every day. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos May 9, 2007 - Portsmouth, Hampshire, UK - Ananova A Portsmouth pensioner is claiming a new record after living in the same house for 96 years. Alex Baker has stayed in the two-up, two-down terrace since he was born there in 1911. When he spent his first hours there, the Titanic had yet to sail and the First World War was still three years away. The house was bought for 130 is now worth 130,000 - but Alex laughed off the idea of ever cashing in. He told the Mirror: "This house has always been my home, so why would I ever want to leave?" Alex and his wife of 68 years, Edith, 89, raised three children at the house. Son Brian, a 66-year-old retired cabinetmaker, said: "The bathroom was a tin bath in the yard and we had gas lamps until I was seven or eight." Alex's uncle, Tom Searle, bought the house at the turn of the century, passing it on to Alex's mother, Alice. She and his father, Owen, had married in 1889. Owen died in 1929 and when Alice passed away in 1957, the house went to Alex and Edith.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Hanging Tools If you enough wall space, hang shovels and other garden tools upside down on your walls. For smaller tools, you can get a peg board that you can mount on your wall and fit with a variety of pegs and hooks and store tools that you need to have handy. You can also get mop closet organizers that grip the handles properly with soft cushion grips. That way wet tools don't drool down the handle and leave a blister causing crust, and it helps to keep the lower end of the handle from drying out and getting sloppy. A tight fitting tool tires you out a lot less. A mop handle rack with six spring loaded cusion grips is usually around $4.95 and holds anything except heavy sledge hammers. Have FUN! DearWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe." Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Morris, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000. In all honesty I cannot unfairly accept two bribes." The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Morris saying, "Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide this case solely on its merits!" =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== WHITE MAN SHOT BY POLICE, CONFUSION REIGNS Police in Cincinnati, Ohio shot and killed a white man today, plunging the police department into chaos and confusion. Police officials reported, "We don't know what to do. There's no forms for this kind of thing. Normally we've got fifteen levels of review, but we don't know what to do now. Hell, the Justice Department hasn't even called to ream us out." Precinct commanders dispatched riot units, but not a single case of looting or property destruction was reported. One white man was given a ticket for spitting on the sidewalk and two other whites were detained for crossing against a red light. One police officer was quoted as saying, "It's damned scary how quiet it is. It's almost like everyone is going on with their business like normal. Freaky." The Mayor of Cincinnati's office was also embroiled in turmoil. "We're actively seeking someone with whom to engage a series of dialogues to, uhhh, do something about, umm, this." So far, no person or group has accepted the Mayor's offer to "enter into dialogue" about the shooting or its effect on the community. The Mayor's office did report they received three phone calls wondering when the Cincinnati Reds' first home game would be. ========================================
Thanks to Martin for today's Bonus Link:: Roadside America
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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