Dear Webby: Laptop Travel Necessities 

Good Morning,   !
Saturday,  May 19, 2007

"Products are made in the factory,
but brands are created in the mind."
 Walter Landor


Two confirmed bachelors are talking and their conversation
drifts from politics to cooking.
"I got a cookbook last Christmas," says the first, "but I
could never do anything with it."
"Too much fancy cooking in it, eh?" asks the second.
"You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way,
'Take a clean dish and ...'"


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A salesman of many years is tired of his job and gives it
up to become a policeman. One day, while he's walking
his beat, he meets an old friend who asks him how he
likes his new work.
"Well," says the salesman-turned-cop, "the pay is good
and the hours aren't bad. But what I like best is that the
customer is always wrong."


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Stakely McConnell, 25, of Galveston, Texas Bad example May 10, 2007 - Galveston, Texas - AP A high school teacher faces marijuana possession charges after drug-sniffing dogs on a routine campus sweep led police to his classroom desk, authorities said. No drugs were found in the desk of Stakely McConnell, a Spanish teacher at Ball High School. Instead, the dogs smelled papers that had a marijuana odor transferred from McConnell's hands, school police chief LeeRoy Amador said. McConnell, 25, admitted to smoking marijuana over the weekend, Amador said. Authorities said they later found a half cigarette of marijuana in his car, but that there is no evidence or suspicion that students were involved in the alleged drug use. McConnell was placed on administrative leave after being arrested on campus Tuesday. Possession of marijuana carries a maximum sentence of one year in prison and a $4,000 fine. Because the alleged discovery happened in a drug-free zone, the district attorney can increase the charge to a state jail felony, which carries a maximum two-year sentence and $10,000 fine. ===========================================
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=========================================== =========================================== Two sweet young things are driving through Louisiana. When they reach the town of Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the name. They argue back and forth until they stop for lunch. As they stand at the counter, one asks the manager, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please tell us where we are? We're having trouble deciding how to pronounce it." The manager leans over the counter and says, "Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr Kiiiiing." ===========================================
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=========================================== Groan Alert! A priest is out golfing one day. He is halfway down the first fairway, waiting to hit his second shot, when he hears the familiar, "Fore!" Immediately, a ball slams into his back. The golfer who hit the ball rushes up to him and recognizes him. "Father, I'm terribly sorry. The ball just got away from me." "That's all right, my son," the priest says. "I'm not hurt." "Thank goodness, Father!" the man exclaims. The two shake hands and the man says, "You know, Father, I've been playing this game for 40 years, and now I can tell my friends that I've hit my first holy one!" =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: SueEllea Re: Coping with hotels Dear Webby In my new positon, I have to do a fair bit of traveling, and so far I don't like the computer part of it one bit. My daughter told me that you travel a lot and have written about that before. Well, you haven't, since I signed up. Hopefully the other subscribers won't be bored if you write an update on your travel tips. Thanks SueElla Dear SueElla The biggest nuisance with traveling is that most hotels use high tables and low chairs. Nobody knows why, but even hotels that claim to be business oriented and have office type swivel chairs, use ridiculously high tables. Most hotel tables come from China and just like un-hemmed bargain pants, the legs are too long and need to be trimmed to suit the actually needed length. Unfortunately, that is too challenging for hotel staff. I cope with that problem by carrying a 5/16" thick piece of plexiglass trimmed to precisely fit into the lid of my big wheeled carryon. Well, nowadays I can't take it on board a plane any more and I have to check it through, but that piece of plexiglass has travelled with me for about 10 years. When I get to a hotel, I jam it into a partly opened dresser or night table drawer, and set my laptop on that. Then the separate keyboard, that I also take along, is at the perfect height for maximum typing speed while sitting in a low hotel chair. Yes, I take a regular keyboard along, with proper numeric keypad. I also take along a mouse: Microsoft Intellimouse Explorer, wired. I am used to using the side buttons for copying and pasting. I also take along the following: Wireless DSL modem card 15 foot network cable 20 foot telephone cable Female-Female telephone cable connector Telephone line one-to-two splitter 20 foot light weight extension cord (Lamp Cord) Two 27 watt spiral lightbulbs Print-out of Earthlink access numbers for the areas that I travel to. Naturally, I try to go to hotels that have wireless high- speed connections, but sometimes the room is too far away from the transmitter or the max number of people are already logged on by the time I get set up. Then old fashioned dial-up is better than nothing. I have to say that Earthlink has never let me down, even overseas. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos May 12, 2007 - Hendersonville, North Carolina - AP After Eric Congdon opened a crate from China and discovered a cat inside, coming up with a name for the furry stowaway was easy. China the cat had chewed through one of the boxes before it left Shanghai on April 3 and spent at least 35 days on a ship inside the container filled with motorcycle gear. ''I saw something in the container move,'' Congdon said. ''I turned up the headlights on the fork lift to get a better look.'' That was when he saw the cat cowering in a corner, weak but still alive. Congdon, owner of Olympia Moto Sports in Hendersonville, said he and a co-worker called the county's animal services when the cat would not let them near. A co-worker of Congdon's plans to adopt China, as animal service workers are calling her, if she checks out with a veterinarian. North Carolina law says any animal coming into the country must be vaccinated and quarantined for six months.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Inexpensive Desk Make a great desk top out of an old smooth door (knobs removed). Use short filing cabinets or milk crates to support the door. This is a great way to recycle old doors you may have sitting in your garage. Some sanding and staining and then a few coats of marine spar varnish will make it look really great and totally impervious to ANY spills. The darker you stain the door, the easier it will be on your eyes. If the door is painted white, paint it brown or dark green. The slate green that you may remember from old school blackboards is the easiest on the eyes. Have FUN! DerWebby
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
A scout for one of the leading colleges went to the office of the athletic director and announced, "Have I got an athlete for you! This guy can play every sport and excels at every position. He is absolutely the finest athlete I have ever seen play." The athletic director was very impressed but had to ask the question, "But how is he scholastically?" The scout replied, "He makes straight "A"s in every subject. However, I must tell you his "B"s are a little crooked." =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy new 10-speed bike. "Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300." "Easy, Dad,..." the boy replied. "I earned it hiking." "Come on," the father said. "Tell me the truth." "That is the truth," the boy replied. "Every night you were gone, Mr. Reynolds from the grocery store would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $20 bill and tell me to go for a hike!" ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link:: Traveler's Aid
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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