Dear Webby: When will Vista be safe? 

Good Morning,   !
Tuesday,  May 22, 2007
======================================

It is never too late to give up our prejudices.
--- Henry David Thoreau

=======================================

At a nursing home in Miami, Florida, a group of Senior
Citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments:
"My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,"
said one.

"Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I can't even see my
coffee," replied another.

"I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,"
said a third, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.

"My blood pressure pills make me dizzy,".... another went on.

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced
an old man as he slowly shook his head. Then there was a
short moment of silence.

"Well, it's not that bad," said one woman cheerfully.
"Thank God we can all still drive."

======================================

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Joe, the Governor's most trusted assistant, died in his
sleep one night. The Governor had depended on Joe for
advice on every subject, from pending bills to wardrobe
decisions. In addition, Joe had been his closest friend.

So, it was understandable that the Governor didn't take
kindly to the droves of ambitious office seekers who
wanted Joe's job. "They don't even have the decency to
wait until the man is buried," the Governor muttered.

At the funeral, one eager beaver made his way to the
Governor's side. "Governor," the man said, "is there
a chance that I could take Joe's place?"

"Certainly," the governor replied. "But you'd better
hurry. I think the undertaker is almost finished."

===========================================

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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Legislators in Taiwan Politicians or TV-Wrestlers? May 8, 2007 - Taipei - Reuters Scores of Taiwan legislators sprayed water, threw stacks of paper and exchanged punches in parliament Tuesday due to disagreements over a bill, again delaying passage of the long-overdue 2007 annual budget. Lawmakers from the ruling Democratic Progressive Party (DPP) and the main opposition Nationalist Party, or the Kuomintang (KMT), climbed onto the parliament speaker's podium, wrestled and pulled at each other's clothes. At least one legislator fell from the table during the scuffle, which broke out over a proposal by the KMT to adjust the make-up of the Central Election Commission. DPP legislators complained that the KMT had introduced its election commission plan to derail passage of the annual budget. Scuffles often break out over bills in the self-ruled island's sharply divided parliament, where opposition parties hold a slim majority. Earlier this year, dozens of legislators threw shoes and pulled ties over a similar bill, and in the past they have also hurled lunchboxes and microphones at each other. ===========================================
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=========================================== =========================================== A woman with 14 children, ranging in age from one to fourteen, went to court to sue her husband for divorce on grounds of desertion. "When did he leave you?" the judge asked. "Thirteen years ago," the tired mother replied. The judge was confused. "If he left thirteen years ago, where did all these children come from?" "Well," said the woman, "he kept coming back to say he was sorry." ===========================================
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=========================================== The young Southern belle came to the hospital for a check-up. "Have you ever been x-rayed?", asked the doctor. "Nope," she replied, "But ah've been ultra-violated a few times." =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! http://www.AFreeDish.com ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Rosie Re: When will Vista be safe? Dear Webby We usually replace the computers in the office every three years or so. I realize that we can't use Vista machines, because they can't cope with our printers and scanners and all sorts of software, but if we buy XP machines now, will they still be able to cope in three or four years? Rosie Dear Rosie Yes, sure they will! The machines are the same, exactly the same hardware, they just have different software on it. Right now we don't even know for sure if there will be an SP1 patch for Vista, or if Microsoft will be coming out with a new OS to compete with Linux. Vista has driven a lot of companies over to Linux and Open Office, and I am sure Microsoft has noticed that. However, IF they improve Vista enough, and IF the printer, scanner, camera, sound and accessory industry decide to write drivers for already sold machines, you can still put Vista onto the computers a few years from now. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! http://www.Ask4Ink.com ========================================== Deeli's Kudos May 10, 2007 - Washington DC - AP The treatment options for patients with early Parkinson's expanded Wednesday with the approval of a new drug in patch form a first for medicines to treat symptoms of the disease. The once-daily Neupro patch contains a drug called rotigotine, which has not been sold before in the United States, the Food and Drug Administration said. The drug patch, made by Schwarz Pharma AG, is the first for the treatment of symptoms of Parkinson Disease. Parkinson's disease results from the loss of dopamine- producing brain cells. Dopamine is crucial for the communication between cells that control muscle movement, which explains the trembling commonly seen in Parkinson's patients. Rotigotine works by activating dopamine receptors in the brain, mimicking the neurotransmitter's effect. An estimated 1 million people in the U.S. have Parkinson's, with an additional 60,000 cases diagnosed each year. Belgium's UCB bought Germany-based Schwarz Pharma last year.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ http://fire-cat.com/blog/ You can email to the Express Empress at 5empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
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Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here: http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/vote.html?pub_code=dailtt ========================================
While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, the elderly woman left her glasses on the table, but she didn't miss them until they were back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around. The elderly man fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant. He called his wife every bad name he could think of. When they finally arrived at the restaurant, and the woman got out of the car to retrieve her glasses, the man yelled to her, "And while you're in there, you might as well get my hat, too." =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
======================================== Grandpa and granddaughter were sitting talking when she asked, "Did God make you, Grandpa?" "Yes, God made me," the grandfather answered. A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, "Did God make me too?" "Yes, God made you," the older man answered. For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in a nearby mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind. At last she spoke up. "You know, Grandpa," she said, "God must have gotten the hang of it and is doing a lot better job lately." ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link:: Wood Chips or Charcoal on the Bar-b-q http://tinyurl.com/2sal9m
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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