Dear Webby: Weird colors on digital pictures 

Good Morning,   !
Monday,  May 28, 2007
Memorial Day in the US
Time for the backstabbers to snivel about the war
and for the rest of us to remember the heroes who
gave their life for the country.


"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;
an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty."
--- Sir Winston Churchill


A Swiss guy, looking for directions, pulls up at a bus
stop where two Americans are waiting.

"Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?" he asks.
The two Americans just stare at him.

"Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?" he tries. The two
continue to stare. "Parlare Italiano?" No response.

"Hablan ustedes Espanol?" Still nothing.

The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first
American turns to the second and says, "Y'know, maybe we
should learn a foreign language."

"Why?" says the other. "That guy knew four languages, and
it didn't do him any good."


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 The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said,
"I'm  so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will
do the trick he  has been promising us."

The grandmother was curious.

"What trick is that my dear," she asked.

 The little boy replied, "I heard daddy tell mommy that he
would climb the walls if you came to visit us again."


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Brandon Loving and Antoine Irby of Chicago, Ill IQ lower than shoe size? May 13, 2007 - Chicago, Illinois - UPI Chicago police said an attempted shoe robbery was foiled when back room workers heard the robbers shouting the sizes they wanted to steal. The Clothing Zone workers phoned police and Brandon Loving and Antoine Irby were arrested, the Chicago Sun-Times reported Tuesday. A third suspect fled the scene. Police Detective Debra Sanello said the three men -- two armed -- entered the store and instructed employees to stay down on the floor. Sanello said the men grabbed clothing from the racks but alerted back room workers when they shouted about shoe sizes. "We only want 10s and 11s," Sanello quoted the men as shouting. ===========================================
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=========================================== Thanks to Doug for this picture of the beer can tree at the Horseshoe Bay ferry terminal. Every year storms knock some cans down, but people hang fresh ones up. Nobody knows why, but I have never seen the can tree bare. =========================================== Sixth grade science teacher Mr. Sampson asks his class; "Who can tell me which organ of the human body expands to 10 times its usual size when stimulated?" Nobody raises a hand, so he calls on the first student to look his way. "Mary, can you tell me?" Mary stands up, blushing furiously. "Sir, how dare you ask me such a question?" she says. "I'm going to complain to my parents, who will complain to the principal, who will have you fired!" Mr. Sampson is shocked by Mary's reaction, but undaunted, he asks the class the question again. This time Sam raises his hand. "Yes, Sam," says Mr. Sampson. "Sir, the correct answer is the iris of the human eye." "Very good, Sam. Thank you." Mr. Sampson then turns to Mary and says, "Mary, I have 3 things to say to you. First, it's clear that you have not done your homework. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, one day you are going to be sadly disappointed." ===========================================
LEGAL Music 25 FREE downloads Just 33 cents or less after that. Ready for iPod or burning onto CD or playing off your computer. Click on the button or go to
=========================================== While standing in line at airport security this morning, the ahead of me poked her index finger at an article in the newspaper she was reading and made a rather unflattering comment about the author. I read: "12 ideas to help you keep that resolution to lose weight." After a couple of paragraphs, the article lists things to do. The second of these hints reads: "When cooking yourself, substitute lower-fat ingredients whenever possible...." "HUH?" she then asked, "Am I supposed to hunt down and cook low-fat jogger instead of myself?" =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Ollie Re: Pictues have a weird tint Dear Webby The last 15 pictures that I took, all have a weird tint and less light than I expected. What could be the cause of that? Ollie Dear Ollie Most likely you or somebody turned the main selector wheel on the camera from Auto to Macro or some other unsuitable setting. Put it back to Auto, and the camera will be fine again. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos May 12, 2007 - Portland, Indiana - AP With her father as a role model and a love of the television show ''CSI,'' a high school senior has become Indiana's youngest certified death investigator. Amanda Barnett, 18, was certified last month and is one of four deputy coroners working for her father, Jay County Coroner Mark Barnett. ''It's kind of weird to my friends,'' she said. ''To other people it's disgusting, but I think it's interesting, and somebody's got to do it.'' Amanda Barnett said her goal has been to follow in her father's footsteps since his first campaign for coroner 15 years ago, and she has attended numerous coroner conventions with him. Her father accompanied her on some of her first calls. ''I'll ask her what she's doing and why,'' Mark Barnett said. ''She might catch something that I don't think of.'' She had to receive special permission to attend a certification class given by the Indiana State Coroners Training Board because she was only 17 when it began. She scored 97 percent on the test, submitted four case reports and attended an autopsy. Barnett will soon graduate from high school, and she said she plans to attend Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis in the fall to become a forensic nurse examiner.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Stubborn Locks If you have a stubborn lock, spray it with some graphite lock spray. You can buy it at any hardware store. In a pinch, you can try using some non-stick vegetable oil on both the lock and key. You can also try dipping your key in talcum powder and inserting it in the lock. All of those items will ensure that your locksmith will charge you extra, because they are a pain in the nuisance to clean out off a lock. Actually, I got the term "pain in the nuisance" from Garry, the guy who taught me most of what I know about locksmithing and burglar alarm security. When a lock gets stubborn, it's not from lack of lubrication, but because of dirt causing friction. Adding more stuff, especially stuff that will attract and hold even more dirt, just makes the inevitable cleaning more expensive. One of the few sprays that won't make things worse is Crown Mold Release spray. It has a very thin carrier fluid that helps flushing grit out, and it covers the parts with a dry, waxy dirt repellant coating. Unless you locked yourself into the garage and need to get out, your best bet is to take the lock to a locksmith, and tell him right away, that you have restrained yourself from spraying weird stuff into the lock. Have FUN! Dear Webby Hi Garry!
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep the entire store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom - Let me show you how." =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== Two elderly residents, one male and one female, were sitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening. The old man looked over and said to the old lady, "I know just what you're wanting, and for $5.00, I'll have sex with you right over there in that rocking chair." The old lady looked surprised but didn't say a word. The old man continued, For $10.00 I'll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for $20.00 I'll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you've ever had in your life. The old lady still says nothing but after a couple minutes, starts digging down in her purse. She pulls out a wrinkled $20.00 bill and holds it up. "So you want the nice romantic evening in my room, huh?" asks the old man. "Heck no!" replies the old lady, "I want it four times in the rocking chair!!" ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link:: Common Soldier
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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