Dear Webby: Budget computer recommendation 

Good Morning,   !
Wednesday,  May 30, 2007
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Happiness doesn't depend upon who you are or what you have;
it depends solely on what you think.
--- Dale Carnegie

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HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be
yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys.
Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET
MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

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Style and fashion intrude into all walks of our lives. Two fellows
who had been rivals all their lives followed different career
paths. One eventually became an Admiral in the Navy, the
other went into the Catholic Church and became a Bishop.

As fate would have it, they happened to meet at the Airport.
The Bishop spied the Admiral first and said loudly,
"Oh Porter, from what gate is the flight to Dallas leaving?"
The Admiral approached, bowed, and said
"Gate 7 Madame, but should you be traveling in your condition ?"

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Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter
=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Travis Grout, 19, of Coralville, Iowa Crackerhead May 8, 2007 - Iowa City, Iowa - AP A man faces up to 25 years in prison if convicted of throwing a firecracker inside a Coralville mall. Travis Grout, 19, has been charged with first-degree arson, public intoxication and interference with official acts for an incident April 16 at Coral Ridge Mall. According to police reports, a witness saw Grout light a 3-inch long firecracker and throw it down a hallway toward a restroom. As it exploded, it propelled two pieces of cement through the hall, reports state. Grout left the area with four friends. Police said the area had "countless" people, but it was unclear whether anyone was injured. ===========================================
We have a date for you!
Did you go on a date this weekend? If not, then we can make sure you have a HOT and fun date next weekend with the exact person you would want to be on a date with! We would like to give you a membership to our dating site and dating community for no charge at all, and no credit card is required to get it!
=========================================== Thanks to Sandy for this picture of her Peace Lily ===========================================
LEGAL Music 25 FREE downloads Just 33 cents or less after that. Ready for iPod or burning onto CD or playing off your computer. Click on the button or go to http://webby.com/emusic
=========================================== My boss wanted a "Clean Desk" policy, so he sent a memo saying that any paperwork left on desks would be removed at night and we would have to fill out a form to get it back. So we left all our trash paper on our desks every night. In a week, the boss had an office full of trash, nobody filled out a retrieval form, and we never heard about the policy again. =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! http://www.AFreeDish.com ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Stormy O Re: Computer recommendation Dear Webby I'm giving my Toshiba lap top to my son. What would 'you' recommend for someone who loves to download everything, save up "stuff' and writes? Any help here would be appreciated! The computer store here says they can build one for me, keeping in mind what I want it for. They start at about $1,1000. I am on a diet concerning income, so have to be really sure of what I buy. Thanks, have a super day, stormy O' Dear Stormy O I have heard about the computer stores in your town. Forget them. Get yourself the cheapest DELL with Windows XP for $379 http://configure.dell.com/dellstore/con ... C521SX_R_E and increase the RAM to 1 GB. That costs $50 more. And that's it! Anything else is just for bragging on the school bus, but won't make any difference, that you would notice with what you use the machine for. If you have a budget to kill, add a nice, fashionable flat panel monitor: 17 inch E177FP Analog Flat Panel [add $150] Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! http://www.Ask4Ink.com ========================================== Deeli's Kudos Sent in by Ross This girl either saved her life or prevented serious trauma by quick thinking and use of her father's shotgun. 11 year-old girl shoots two illegal alien home intruders Two illegal aliens, Ralphel Resindez 23 and Enrico Garza 26, probably believed they would easily overpower a home alone 11 year old Patricia Harrington, after her father had left their two story home. It seems the two crooks never learned two things, they were in Montana and Patricia had been a clay shooting champion since she was nine. Patricia was in her upstairs room when the two men broke through the front door of the house. She quickly ran to her father's room and grabbed his 12 gauge Mossberg 500 shotgun. Resindez was the first to get up to the second floor only to be the first to catch a near point blank blast of buck shot from the 11 year olds' knee crouch aim. He suffered fatal wounds to his abdomen and genitals. When Garza ran to the foot of the stairs, he took a blast to the left shoulder and staggered out into the street where he bled to death before medical help could arrive. It was found out later that Resindez was armed with a stolen 45 caliber handgun he took from another home invasion robbery. The victim of that robbery, 50 year old David Burien, was not as lucky. He died from stab wounds to the chest. The 11 year-old girl staved off a robbery and potential rape because her parents taught her how to use a gun. Her parents didn't just didn't a gun in the house and not educate her on the power that a firearm provides. They taught her how to use it properly.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ http://fire-cat.com/blog/ You can email to the Express Empress at 5empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Twist Ties and Rubber Bands Twist ties work well for wrapping up power tool cords and keeping wires together. Rubber bands also have a variety of uses and are good to keep handy. Take an old bike inner tube and cut it into rings to make some heavy duty rubber bands.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here: http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/vote.html?pub_code=dailtt ========================================
A chief and an admiral were sitting in the barber shop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves--the barbers were reaching for some aftershave to slap on their faces. The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!" The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like." =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
======================================== Thanks to Morris for this story: One day, while driving with my then 5 year old daughter Melanie, I beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at me as if she was demanding an explanation. I said, "I did that by accident..." She replied, "I know that....'cause you didn't say 'A********!' after beeping!" ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link:: US Cities by size http://tinyurl.com/3cqjgm
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





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