Dear Webby: New Critter Corner 

Good Morning,   !
Friday,  June 1, 2007
Wear something red today to show your support for the troops!
======================================

Just like the butterfly, I too will awaken in my own time.
--- Deborah Chaskin

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...
well, I have others.
--- Groucho Marx

=======================================

Thanks to Sandie for this story:
A husband and wife are on the 9th green when suddenly she
collapses from a heart attack!

'Help me dear,' she groans to her husband.

The husband dials 911 on his cell phone, talks for a few
minutes, picks up his putter, and lines up his putt.

His wife raises her head off the gr! een and stares at him.
'I'm dying over here and you're putting?'

'Don't worry dear', says the husband calmly. 'they found a
doctor on the second hole and he's coming to help you'.

'Well how long will it take for him to get here', she asks feebly?!

'No time at all', says her husband, practicing his putting
stroke.  Everybody's already agreed to let him play through'!

======================================

, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
 Thanks for your votes!

===========================================

    KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTO..

Alabama
Hell Yeah, We Have Electricity.

Alaska
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona
Yeah, But It's A Dry Heat.

Arkansas
Lituracy Ain't Everythang.

California
By 30, Our Women Have More
Plastic Than Your Honda.

Colorado
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.

Connecticut
Like Massachusetts , only smaller

Delaware
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.

Florida
Ask Us About Our Grandkids
And Our Voting Skills.

Georgia
We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.

Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)

Idaho
More Than Just Potatoes...
Well, Okay, We're Not, But The
Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois
Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa
We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas
First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky
Five Million People;
Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos,
But That's Our Tourism Campaign.

Maine
We're Really Cold, But We
Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden 's And Our
Senators Are More Corrupt!

Michigan
First Line Of Defense Against The Canadians

Minnesota
10,000 Lakes... And 10 Zillion Mosquitoes

Mississippi
Come visit And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing
Crazies, and Honest Elections!

Nebraska
Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada
Hookers and Poker!

New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey
You Want A ##$%##! Motto?
I Got Your ##$%##! Motto Right here!

New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right To An Attorney...
And No Right To Self Defense!

North Carolina
Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio
At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma
Like The Play, But No Singing

Oregon
Spotted Owl.. It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal

Rhode Island
We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina
Remember The Civil War?
Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet

South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee
Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum

Texas
Se Hable Ingles

Utah
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont
Too liberal for the Kennedy's

Virginia
Who Says Government Stiffs And
Slackjawed Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington
Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!

West Virginia
One Big Happy Family...Really!

Wisconsin
Come Cut the Cheese!

Wyoming
Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared
Home of Brokeback Mtn.

The District of Columbia
The Work-Free Drug Place !

===========================================

Give a friend a free gift subscription to the Humor Letter
=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Sabrina Walker of Hopkins, Minnesota Rerport sent in by Chris O BAD example (WCCO) Police say a Hopkins school counselor mistakenly received a $2.6 million check intended for the Hennepin County Medical Center and went on a spending spree before reporting the mistake. Sabrina Walker is accused of using the money to buy a sports car, jewelry and electronics as well as a CD, a treasury bond and two retirement accounts. "I can't fathom to it. I can't relate to it. She's delusional. I just can't come up with an excuse for it. It's one of the craziest cases I've ever had," said detective Brandon Deshler of the Minnesota Financial Crimes Task Force. "She immediately, and I'm talking within hours began pulling out cashier's checks, cash. She brokered the two Land Rover deals," said Deshler. Walker took the money out after she called the Minnesota Department of Human Services to ask about the check six weeks after she got it. "We hadn't heard back from Hennepin County Medical Center yet that they didn't receive the check so it went through the system and she had it for a period of time before it was discovered and she ended up being the one to tip us off," said Tim Wilken, the Department of Human Services Assistant Commissioner. Administrators at the Department of Human Services are now working to try to eliminate the kind of human error which caused the $2.6 million to land in the wrong mailbox. "It's as simple as a typographical error," said Wilken. "Obviously we had a weakness here and it slipped through the cracks. We don't find it acceptable and we're going to make sure we address it as soon as possible." At Hopkins High School, where Walker was a school integration specialist, it was the buzz in the halls. "It's kind of shocking to know that someone that's supposed to be helping and supposed to be guiding you through school that she would do something that was so wrong," said sophomore Molly Korman. Walker remains in jail and is on administrative leave from Hopkins High School pending the outcome of the case. http://wcco.com/crime/local_story_150194736.html ===========================================
We have a date for you!
Did you go on a date this weekend? If not, then we can make sure you have a HOT and fun date next weekend with the exact person you would want to be on a date with! We would like to give you a membership to our dating site and dating community for no charge at all, and no credit card is required to get it!
=========================================== Thanks to Sandie for this picture: ===========================================
LEGAL Music 25 FREE downloads Just 33 cents or less after that. Ready for iPod or burning onto CD or playing off your computer. Click on the button or go to http://webby.com/emusic
=========================================== The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie" with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted. "An Ambulance just drove by!" "Looks like the Andersons have company, he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike!" Looks like the Sanders are moving!" "Jason is on his skate board...." After a few moments he announced, "The Coopers are having Sex!!" Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out, How do you know they are having sex?" " Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle." =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! http://www.AFreeDish.com ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Roland Re: Dipsticks Dear Webby Check that dipstick site, can save a whole 2 cents by driving 10 miles, think it's worth the trip, ha ha Roland Dear Roland Some of us buy more than one gallon at a time, and often the difference is 10 - 20 cents. However, the main idea is to prove to the gas stations, that we do compare prices, and that we support the station with the lowest gas price. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! http://www.Ask4Ink.com ========================================== Deeli's Kudos
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at http://fire-cat.com/blog/ http://fire-cat.com/blog/ You can email to the Express Empress at 5empress@fire-cat.com, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Birdbath Use two large stackable plastic bowls. Nail one of them onto a fence post, and set the other one into it. That way it will be held securely in any wind, but is easy to remove for cleaning or filling.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at http://www.myfrugallife.com
Thriftyfun.com also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun http://www.thriftyfun.com/subscribe.ldml Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the ThriftyFun.com list, you can vote for it here: http://www.cumuli.com/ezines/vote.html?pub_code=dailtt ========================================
============================================= Out canvassing for a charity, my friend Irene and I knocked at a door. It was opened by a huge bear of a man, who was wearing a large black bra, over his shirt. Irene, being a devout Catholic, crossed herself, backed up ready to make a fast retreat. I asked politely for a donation, trying to keep my eyes from wandering to his protruding undergarment. He grinned evilly at me, "Wanna feel em?" Horrified, I turned to leave, when one side of his bra came alive with motion. Irene was now crossing herself with a flurry, muttering, "Jaysus, Mary and Murphy." She was begging the saints to protect her, when a tiny tail flipped out of his bra. "Oh my sweet Lord," she squealed, "He's got rats in his boobs," bolted for the car, offering up 'Hail Mary's.' as she tore off the porch. An old lady came out of the house, glared at the man, who just grinned back. He put his hands up to cradle both cups, which were now writhing with movement. She turned to me asking, "Did he ask you to play with them?" "Yes", I gulped. "Well," she said, patting my hand, " He's not too bright, but it's not what you think." She ordered him to pull his bra out so I could peek inside. Hesitantly I watched, while he pulled the garment down. When I got a good look I burst out laughing. Tiny muzzles with whiskers, long sinuous bodies, small heads with bright beady eyes, stared back at me. "Their mama died," he explained, " This bra is the perfect place to keep them warm." Both cups were filled to the brim with tiny baby ferrets. =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog
======================================== An instructor was sitting in his office one afternoon when an attractive, sexy-looking lady knocked on his door. "Yes?", he replied, "how may I help you?" The lady said, "I need to talk to you about my grade in your class." "Come in and have a seat," said the instructor. "Is there anything I can do to get an "A" in your class?" "What do you mean by *anything*?" he replied. She said, "Anything!" "Anything??" She said, in her best sultry voice, "I mean ANYTHING." The instructor got up from behind his desk, sat down beside her and whispered in her ear, "Would you ... .... study?" ========================================
Thanks to Dianne for today's Bonus Link:: Crayon Artist http://tinyurl.com/2yym7y
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby





[ view entry ] ( 178 views )   |  permalink  |  print article  |  related link  |   ( 3.1 / 548 )

<<First <Back | 142 | 143 | 144 | 145 | 146 | 147 | 148 | 149 | 150 | 151 | Next> Last>>