Dear Webby: Memory Error 

Good Morning,   !
Saturday,  June 2, 2007

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear
and the blind can see.
--- Mark Twain

Business opportunities are like buses,
there's always another one coming.
 Richard Branson


Thanks to Noella for this story:

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His
wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning,
I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 250
in less then 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work.

When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure
enough there was a gift-wrapped box in the middle of the
driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to
the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new heavy duty bathroom

Ed has been missing since Friday.


, if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: 
 Thanks for your votes!


The stockbroker's secretary answered his phone one morning.
"I'm sorry," she said, "Mr. Bradford's on another line."

"This is Mr. Ingram's office," the caller said.  "We'd like
to know if he's bullish or bearish right now."

"He's talking to his wife," the secretary replied.
"Right now I'd say he's sheepish."


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=========================================== Thanks to Deeli's Bonehead reports: An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD goes to Jennifer Wojtulewicz of Highley, Arizona Snivelling Ninny Hmmmmm.... Have to pay for a yearbook but still can't have freedom of speech because of 'political correctness'. Great Granny Vi sent me the link for this story ...... May 17, 2007 - Phoenix, Arizona - The Arizona Republic A Higley High School senior claims that God was edited out of his biography in the school's yearbook, prompting him to seek an explanation from the school on Wednesday. Anthony Sciubba, 18, an honors student and athlete who plans to become a doctor and Christian missionary someday, was one of 13 seniors to receive a special full-page tribute in the yearbook, which was distributed Tuesday. Students selected for the tribute were nominated by teachers at the Gilbert school. The text accompanying a photo of Sciubba, shown wearing his letter jacket and holding a Bible, reads that "according to Sciubba, he owed all of his success to others." Sciubba said that he specifically credited God but was told Tuesday by Jennifer Wojtulewicz, the yearbook's faculty adviser, t hat "God" could not be printed because of concerns over separation of church and state. Sciubba said he met Wednesday morning with Shannon Hannon, the school's vice principal, and was told that the school would consult with lawyers on the matter. Sciubba ranks fourth in the senior class and carries a grade- point average of 4.6. This week, he was one of 27 students in the Southeast Valley to receive a $2,500 college scholarship from Ronald McDonald House Charities of Phoenix. He also has received a $10,000 award from Toyota. "All these great things have happened to me, but it's all from God," Sciubba said. "God is a controversial figure, and people say that because of that, I can't give credit to him." ---------------------------- Whether or not somebody believes in God is their own right and privilege. I think Sciubba can sue the sniveling ninnies for defamation, slander and libel. They deliberately changed his quote to state something totally different from what he said. As editors they can leave out his quote, but they can not change it to the opposite or something that different. Good grades credited to "others" implies cheating at exams. Good grades credited to God implies that the student has a belief that kept him on the straight and narrow, and focused on studying rather than partying. A good lawyer could probably get him a six or seven figure settlement. ===========================================
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=========================================== A newspaper reporter for the Los Angeles Times had received instructions from his senior editor to get photographs of a brush fire in the foothills of northern California. The instructions included hurrying to the Santa Monica Airport to board a small plane, taking some photos of the fire, and hurrying back by noon with the story. The reporter dressed quickly, rushed to the airport, saw the small plane waiting on the runway, drove his car to the end of the runway, parked, and climbed on board. Off they flew into the clear blue skies. At about 5,000 feet, the reporter took out his camera and said to the man flying the plane, "Bank right and I'll take some pictures of this fire." Then he heard the most frightening questions of his life, "Bank right? How do I do that? You ARE the instructor, aren't you?" =========================================== Get a Dish Network for as low as $19.99/month Free HD & DVR Equipment & Free installation Free Dish Network Satellite TV Systems We are nationwide Dishnetwork retailer! ================================== From the Tech Support Pits: From: Marsha Re: Memory Error Dear Webby, Thank you for the GMail invite. I was wondering if I would have to change my humor letter subscription but am very pleased to see that I do not. I have been running Crap Cleaner, often, as it is temporarily fixing the error message I am getting but the message keeps coming back. I have been considering reformatting the computer as it has had constant problems. My dilemma is that I attend college online at the Art Institute Online. I have a break coming up in a few weeks and was going to do it then. My question is, is there another solution without reformatting? If I do go ahead with the format is there an easy way to transfer files to my other computer? I have a desktop with XP that I would be transferring to, from a laptop with XP both are on a wireless network. Also, how would I prevent overlooking any files? Thanks for any advice! Marsha P.S. The error I get refers to memory being low and it pops up when I close IE. Dear Marsha Most likely your laptop has less than 1 GB RAM, and less than 20% free disk space. Consider adding more RAM and getting a larger hard drive at the same time as you do the formatting. Then you can stick the old hard drive into a $15 USB remote hard drive enclosure and use it as a back-up drive. That allows you to do a clean install onto the new drive, and still have all your files untouched on the remote pocket drive. You can get a 100 GB drive nowadays for about $80. If that is not in the budget, make a plan of what on the laptop is actually worth saving, and drag that to the desktop machine, but ignore all the wacky utilities and supposed fixers and registry cleaners and similar stuff. Have FUN! DearWebby ========================================== Save up to 70% on printer inkjet cartridges 100% Guarantee & Free shipping Discount ink cartridges, refill kits & laser toners. Recycle your empty cartridges - Save or make money! ========================================== Deeli's Kudos May 31, 2007 - Shelby, North Carolina - AP A radio listener helped save a disc jockey who suffered an on-air seizure and pleaded for help before passing out in his studio. WOHS DJ Tim Biggerstaff, who has suffered from diabetes since childhood, has always been candid about his health. When he felt a seizure about to strike Monday, he called out to his listeners. Gerald Weathers heard the plea and raced to the nearby studio. Since Biggerstaff was the only person working on the holiday, officials contacted another WOHS radio employee to unlock the door. Biggerstaff was found unconscious inside. "It's quite frankly a bloody miracle that I am here at all," said Biggerstaff, 46. This isn't the first time a listener has saved the DJ's life. Three years ago, a listener donated a kidney to him when he needed a transplant.
============================================= The Express Empress and her Outlook Express tips are on a separate blog at You can email to the Express Empress at, and she will post it into the blog for you. =============================================
Daily tip from Organized Camping Meals Here's a tip to save to help you organize your meals when camping. Measure ingredients for a recipe into small ziplock bags and then place those into one large bag with a label. It makes meal preparation a snap and ensures that you don't pack a lot of extra ingredients.
Check out ThriftyFun's Blog at also has a newsletter. If you want more than just one tip per day, or if you want to share your tips, then you can subscribe to it here: ThriftyFun Highly recommended ! You can even submit tips and win prizes in weekly contests! Contest If you like the list, you can vote for it here: ========================================
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside-down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a rip-off! I put him on the pot before a whole audience and he didn't dance a single step!" "So?" asked the ducks former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?" ============================================= A few questions I've been asked about dogs. Q. Why does our family dog claim our favourite chair as his own. A. Same reason you do. It's probably soft and comfortable, nice cushions or a blanket to cuddle into. The chair is likely placed in a spot where there aren't any drafts, or beside a window so he can watch the world go by. But more likely, because the chair smells like you. Sitting in your favourite chair, when you're not around comforts him so he's not quite as lonely. Learn to share. Q. Do dogs have bellybuttons? A. Yes, but you'll have to look really closely to find it. It's the same as with humans, a dog's bellybutton marks the spot where the umbilical cord was attached before he was born. Q. I have two long haired Persian cats. My small dog insists on sleeping with them, and is quite aggressive about sharing their bed. Should I stop him from doing this? The cats lick him, I don't think that is good for them. A. Now that's one smart dog! If the cat's are allowing him to join them in their space they can't be all that concerned. He gets to sleep with soft fluffy cushions that vibrate. Cat's like to groom, if they are in grooming 'mode' he's going to get scrubbed. It sounds like the three have it all worked out. Just enjoy. =============================================
If you missed previous issues, you can see them in the Humor Letter Blog at
======================================== Tom had proposed to young Maureen and was being interviewed by his prospective father-in-law. "Do you think you are earning enough to support a family?" the older man asked the suitor. "Yes, sir", replied Tom, "I'm sure I am." "Think carefully now," said Maureen's father warningly. "There are twelve of us." ========================================
Thanks to Deeli for today's Bonus Link:: "Remember Me" by Lizzy Palmer
======================================== , if you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder: Thanks for your votes! Give a free gift subscription to a friend! ======================================== Well, , that's all for today. have FUN ! Dear Webby

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